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sweetsbfreex · 4 years ago

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that’s daddy!

read the first installment here!

last fic of 2020! thank you guys so much for all the love and sweet messages, i’ve only been here for a short time, but you guys have rlly gotten me through being able to post my writing publicly 💕

Summary: another mix up, but this time it’s 10x more embarrassing

Warnings: lil’ smut but not so smut

Pairings: Husband, Dad!Harry x reader

You and Harry had woken up five minutes prior. Your mumbles in both your sleepy, raspy voices of good morning and your morning pecks out of the way. Now the two of you were cuddled up in bed. You were lowered in bed, on your side. Your head under Harry’s arm, one arm by your side, while the other was tracing the butterfly on Harry’s chest absentmindedly.

Harry was on his back; one of his arm’s brought down– his fingers caressing the side of your face.

“Plans for the day?” you ask H, tilting your head back slightly.

He was blissed out and zoned out, his mind running a mile a minute. With that he had hummed, asking you to repeat yourself.

“Plans for the day, H?” you asked again.

“Oh, have to head to the set in a few. Are you and B still meeting me there?”

“Why? Do you want us to?” you tease.

“What do you think” he imitated, pulling on the hand that was once on his stomach to guide you upward and closer to him.

You smiled knowingly down at him, your body hovering over him. While he winds a hand to the back of your neck pulling you down quickly.

“Frisky, huh” you joked, pulling away. But you were hastily pulled down– Harry snakes his arm higher using his bicep now to bring you down all the way– your body now bonded to Harry’s. Your sleeping shirt rubbing against his skin.

Harry kissed you roughly and was rough during the time he rolled the both of you over, so you were encased in him. Your non-stop grinding figure causing the growling he was emitting. And it would’ve gone father if it wasn’t for the pitter-patter of small feet walking past your open door. (You had left open last night for Bia this morning.)

He pulled away, breathless. Looking over his shoulder, using the hand that wasn’t under your neck to hold his body up. Only to see the four-year-old bouncing at the end of the bed, her favorite stuffed animal (an off-white duck) clutched in both her hands in front of her.

“B, remember what we talked about” Harry reminded her sweetly, laying on his back next to her mother.

“Sorry daddy” she pouted, her figure still. “Morning!” she squealed, running till she was laying in between you and Harry. It was always so surreal how crazy her emotions had shifted, but not very surprising.

“Morning bunny” Harry replied, kissing her forehead.

“Morning B” you replied, kissing her cheeks until she was laughed out, begging for mercy.

“What? don’t like mummy’s kiss?” Harry had asked, tickling her side.

“No!” she quipped, a mischievous, a very Harry look on her face.

You gasped in make-believe at her statement, looking up at Harry a plan in your eyes that he had naturally understood. You were each assigned a cheek of B’s and at once attacked her with kisses.

She broke out into a fit of giggles, each of her tiny hands brought up to clutch onto each of your chins, trying with all her might to push the both of you away.

“Okay! Okay!” she yelled, but it took her awhile with all the laughing she was doing.

“You love mummy’s kisses?” you asked her

“Yes!” she screamed, adjusting herself so she was now laying on top of you. Her cheek rested against yours, which she had kissed before settling herself to down– to further persuade you. You wrapped both your arms around her instantly, one of hers coddling the lobe of your ear.

Harry shuffled closer to the two of you. On his side he used an arm to support his head.

“Angel, guess what?” he beamed.

“What Daddy?”

“You and mum are gonna be meeting on set today”

She was confused, and you could tell from the lack of emotion she let out at Harry’s information. She was four, so you couldn’t blame her for not understanding how exciting it would be to see her father live in action.

“B” you started, gaining her attention. “Me and you are gonna meet daddy at work and watch him act and meet everyone else...like Descendants how everyone is at the isle of the lost” you divulged, trying to make this exciting as possible for her.

“We’re going to the Isle of the lost?” she interrupted, her head tilting slightly in confusion.

“No no” you laugh “It’s like– you know what nevermind. Basically, we’re gonna go see daddy at work, but with movies”

“Were going to the movies?”

“Kind of, but instead we’re gonna watch how movies are made”

“Ohh” she dragged, still a bit confused, but she really only understood that she would be meeting her dad at work. Harry laughed at your attempt, knowing you were shit at explaining things and trying to explain something like this to a toddler was only harder for you.

“it’s okay B, you’ll see soon” Harry reassured her. “What do the two of you want for breakfast?”

Peeling off the comforter, he got out of bed stretching his back out. A deep, pleasurable groan leaving his mouth. Causing a giggle between you and Bia.

“Pancakes and strawberries, please” Bia requested.

“Can I have French toasts pleaseee” you beg.

“You got it” Harry replied, making his way out of the room after grabbing a shirt from his dresser.

He could hear the whispering between the two of you, most likely scheming against him. But when he had started making his way to the door, he heard a shrill voice filled with cackles.

“Thank you best daddy in the world!” B had recited. Harry had shook his head a great smile on his face, close to tears. He raised his hands high, making a heart with his hands catching the eye of the two of his best girls, that were still laughing, in his bed.

Only a few hours earlier you and B had kissed Harry a see you later at the door. Now it was only the two of you in the parking lot of the set, one of the employees from the movie, sent to guide you and B to your location.

You looked down at your little girl, who’s hand was pancaked with yours, skipping behind you. Her pony tails shifting and her shoes lighting up with each bounce.

“You excited miss Styles” you ask.

She hummed an answer, toi immerse into the song she was singing.

“I was requested by Harry to bring some goldfish and strawberries for Bia. Is that okay?” she double checks

“That’s perfect. Thank you so much” you smile as she stops abruptly in front of you, tapping away at her tablet.

“No problem, they’ll be inside” she smiled back, looking up “Here’s his trailer, if you need anything I’m once again Ximena” she waved a goodbye to you and Bia.

You climb up the steps, gently, Bia trailing closely behind you. Opening the door, you walk inside to see the spacious area.

The first thing you see when walking in is the platter of Cut strawberries and packs of B’s favorite varieties of goldfish on the coffee table, catching her attention instantly as she sprints towards the snacks. Getting herself comfortable on the sectional sofa in front of the tv.

You can see a counter, an array of cosmetic products settled on top. One chair sat behind the counter, facing a wall with a large mirror mounted on the wall. You walk farther in the trailer to see on the counter, a framed picture of the three of you on an impromptu picnic, your heart filled as you eyed the picture.

you loved that day

Lastly, all the way in the back you could see a large bed, probably a queen, which you could tell was laid upon earlier.

You walked over to Bia, taking a seat next to her, who shoved yet another strawberry into her mouth. You chuckled lowly, grabbing the remote from the coffee table. Putting something on just for her.

You were getting engrossed in the show when the door to the trailer flung open, Harry walking into his hands on his hips.

Bia had jetted off the sofa, running towards her dad, who had crouched down to pick her up. Spinning her around as she giggled, twinkling.

You paced towards him, flinging yourself softly onto him, as he was still holding B.

“Hi love, missed you” he said softly, bringing his right hand up to secure the back of your head, bringing you into a kiss.

“Why are you so out of breath” you asked, laughing. You could see the glimmer of sweat along his hairline.

“Ran all the way over here. I just finished a scene when they told me you two were here” jostling Bia a bit.

“You’re so cute” you said with a fond look, welcoming him for a quick peck. “And you look so handsome. Love when your hair is parted like this”

One of the first things that you had noticed was how dapper he had looked in the brown suit.

You tell him getting a cocky smirk in response. You take your finger and gently move a strand of his hair that hung in between his eyebrows, moving it so it was flowing to the right– as it should be.

“Thank you lovie, how about I show the two of you around.”

You were walking down the lines of trailers, The three of you linked together like monkeys in a barrel, Bia walking in the middle. As you walked down Harry showed her all the equipments, teaching her how things worked, helping her pronounce the tough words, and explaining what they were for.

“They’re shooting something right now. You want to watch?”

“Mhm”

You crouch to pick up Bia, her short legs slowing the two of you down if you had to be honest. She sat on your hip, now a bit farther away from Harry. He had been quick to drape his arm over his arm over your shoulder, bringing you both closer.

“Remember you have to be quiet” Harry reminded B, as you both walked closer to a scene that was about to start.

“I remember” she whispered.

It was only a minute or two that went by, when Bia let out a quiet groan. Frustrated to no end.

“Daddy” She had groaned again, her hand in a tiny fist. You looked down at her, face scrunched up.

“What is it baby?” he asked, grabbing her fist. Her hand now enclosed over his finger.

“My eyes. S’ too bright”

You and Harry smiled down at her, You watched as Harry opened one of the jackets. Slipping his hand inside one of the pockets, you assumed, pulling out a pair of sunglasses. He perched them gently on her face. So big they had slid down her nose.

“Better?” you asked, kissing the top of her head

She nodded her head, turning her attention, so she was watching the extras move around and the actors/actresses recite their lines.

The three of you stood there for another ten minutes, but had to go when Harry looked down at his watch. Smile falling not wanting to leave you both.

“I gotta go lovie, but I’m gonna drop off you both at the trailer first” he says grasping your hand, leading you both away from the ongoing scene.

“What?” you pout “I thought I would’ve been able to see you in action” you tease.

“I know, I know” he sighs, walking in front of you so he can clasp your face between his palms. Which were by now ringless, except for the wedding ring prop. His, from your wedding day, sat next to his journal on his night stand.

“But I’d not rather kiss another woman in front of B...Plus you’ll make me nervous”

“I make you nervous” you keen

“Don’t act surprised” he quips “Remember the time I spilled my drink all over your lap on our first date?” he asks, you nod in confirmation. “There you go! Now let’s get you two back to the trailer” he ended the conversation swiftly, grappling both your shoulders gently. Squeezing them lovingly as he guided you back to the trailers.

You and H had been entranced in a conversation when B had squealed letting out excitedly “Puppy!”

The sound of her excitement got both of your attention, looking down to see none other Dodger on a leash held by Chris freaking Evans.

“Hey Chris!” Harry greeted, putting his hands out for a handshake. Harry had let go of your shoulder as Chris pulled Harry in for what you called ‘manly man shoulder tap’. “You’ve met y/n, this” he pointed to B “Is Bia, my daughter” Harry, properly, introduced the squirming girl in your arm, trying so hard to pet the dog, pinching her cheek.

“Hi” you greeted Chris, clearing your throat afterwards.

You met Chris when the cast had got together for a bonding moment at a very fancy restaurant. But god, could you ever get used to the fact that your husband worked with Chris freaking-hot- Jamal Evans and you basically had access to see him whenever? No. Never.

When the news had broke out that Chris would be joining in as a cast member, you were probably more excited than Harry, as you had ran around the room in twirls at the fact that you were going to see two of the most handsomest men in the world in one movie. And you were married to one of them.

Harry could do nothing that day not wanting to burst your bubble with the slight jealousy he had felt as he laid back on the bed, watching your very familiar crazy behavior. A smile on his face.

“Almost as if you were the one acting with him baby” he teased you, making his way hastily towards you, throwing you over his shoulder a quick smack to your ass.

And the dinner was not any easier. Your hand in Harry’s hands, placed over the table. Which you was his way of slight possessiveness, while you sat across from Chris Evans himself, trying so hard not to act like such a fangirl. His eyes were so blue, so bright, it was hard not to get caught in those.

But you were married and had to calm down. Letting Harry know multiple times if this were Jennifer Aniston he would have all the passes he wanted.

“Hey how are you y/-” Chris had started, but the sound of an overly excited toddler had took all three of your attention

“Daddy!” she roared, a smile on her face, pointing towards Chris’ shocked figure.

It was like time stood, still at the tension–– mostly felt on you and Harry’s end. At the way Chris had dropped his jaw, eyes wide, his finger pointing at himself.

Harry was nothing but embarrassed, cheeks and ears heating up. His own daughter called someone who wasn’t Harry her father for christs sakes.

And you were nothing but the same, as all three of you stood there moths dropped.

“O- oh my gosh, Chris, I’m so sorry. I have no idea why she-” you started.

“It’s fine really” he chuckled. “I’m actually supposed to be on set in a few, so I’ll catch you guys later.” he waved, smiling, walking away from the three of you.

“Oh my gosh, Harry! I just embarrassed myself in front of Chris evans” you whined.

“This is your fault” he laughed “Told you I hated that joke, glad to see karma got you where it hurts”

“I hate you” you whine

Harry pays you no mind, a smug look over taking his face.

“Where’s daddy going?” Bia asks, her head turning at Chris’ walking figure.

if you enjoyed pls don’t forget to reblog or give feedback if ur up to it <3

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #dad! harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles one shot #harry styles fluff #dad harry styles #harry styles x y/n #harry styles reader insert #harry styles fanfiction #chris evans x reader #harry styles x you #dad!harry #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fic #husband!harry #husband! harry styles

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moons-and-stars-and-shit · 4 years ago

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Can I order a cake? Im 5'3, i am pisces rising and sun and a sagittarius moon. I like drawing and dancing a lot and I'm OBSESSED with true crime shows/podcasts. People tell me i'm mean and have an attitude but i really don't like being disrespected by other people for no reason (but i lowkey have anger issues)💀. I love playing minecraft and roblox (superior games🙄🤚) Im a mixed hispanic🇨🇴(my dads mixed, my mom black). Thank you 😩🙏💕(sorry if this is long, this is my first time asking😭)

🍰 for @bxbygurlisa

Romantic Matchup

Kenma Kozume

How yall met

Discord

You mfs met on discord

You, kenma,and a big group of people were just playing minecraft

And somehow you just ended up sticking with kenma

Yall mined together

Farmed together

Blew up houses together

Ahem

Anyways yalls sleep schedule is very fucked

So you both ended up staying awake into the night

And eventually

Everyone on the server had left

Now it was just you and kenma

You both just continued to play and talk to each other

Turns out you both had quite a few things in common

And apparently you went to his school!

Now even partial insomniacs need sleep

You agreed to meet up at the gym monday after school

So you and kenma parted ways promising to find eachother at school

Monday rolled around and you were waiting outside the gym doors

“y/n? That you?”

You looked up and saw Kenma!

You both chatted for a bit

Before Kuroo’s RUDE ASS

Decided to but in

“Oya? Kenmas got a s/o now?”

“Gross kuroo”

Anyways it was time for kenma to practice so you gave him your # number and told him to text you when he got home so you could play some more

Unfortunately for kenma kuroo noticed how his face turned the slightest shade of pink when you did that

Poor boy got teased all practice

You both made it a tradition to at least play one game after school

And this went on for about a month or two

And kenma was starting to realize that he might…

Indeed….

Have a crush on you….

He caught himself constantly staring at the clock

Counting down the seconds till he could see you

It was getting to the point where almost EVERYTHING reminded him of you

So what did he do to solve this problem?

Confessed to you in a minecraft server duh

It was actually super cute

And of course you said yes!

Kenma was super happy

But still wanted to smack Kuroos “i told you so” look right of his face

What they love about you

He loves that you stand up for yourself

He does agree that you might have some anger issues

But fuck the people who ticked you off in the first place am i right

Yeah he's got some anger issues too….

Eh makes for funner times anyways

Favorite things to do together

Alright let's not beat around the bush

Mans likes to play games with you

But but but but but

He likes to play with you in person

COVID cant do shit in the anime world

So he always invites you over to his place to play games

And if you'll allow it

He wants you to play in his lap

Or he’ll play with his head in your lat

Cuddly boi

Random Hc

Yall are always watching true crime shows

And then talk about how you could get away with murder

Kenma says he would go for the poisoning method

Less messy….

Kuroo you better watch out 💀

His favorite games are combat games

Especially with you

Ngl he thought he would have to throw some matches

But then you beat his ass

And this prideful son of a bitch could NOT let that slide

Whenever he loses he always tells you that he let you win

Sure kenma...sure

One time when you guys were playing on discord

Your gaming session got cut short

Because your mom walked in and told you to

“Get yo ass up and go do the dishes like i asked”

Sigh

Parents of Color tings

Overall Aesthetic

Gamersss

Songs-

505- arctic monkeys

Hayloft- mother mother

Apocalypse- cigarets after sex

Beamer boy- lil peep

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fandom #haikyu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu matchups #kenma x reader #kenma kozume #kenma hcs #kenma #kenma x y/n #kenma headcanons #kozume kenma

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squeaksquawks · 3 years ago

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tell a lil bit more about your Hawke and your Inquisitor 👀👀

HELL YEAH LET'S GOOOO

I kind of uhhhhhhhh went WILD and wrote POSSIBLY TOO MUCH so!

Athena Hawke entered Kirkwall as a cheeky but kind like 20 year old and left Kirkwall as a shell of a person HAHA. She's a warrior, so she had Bethany by her side and they were INCREDIBLY close, so taking her to the Deep Roads and making her a warden (a choice she made in a panic without thinking of what Bethany wanted) genuinely haunted/still haunts her.

She has the...worst case of RBF and people avoid her on the street when in reality mentally she's like "What should I get for dinner. Chicken? No. I had that for lunch." and Varric absolutely ribs on her for it and calls her some variation of grouch/grouchy which she HATES.

She romanced Fenris and it was very much a love at first sight of seeing a mans heart torn out of his chest while Bethany was in the background like "Athena. No. NO." She tried really hard to be Cool About It but it just lead to her like, glaring at Fenris a lot and him being like "...?" because, again, horrible case of RBF. When he left in Act 2 she was like "of course, take all the time you need." and then burst into The Hanged Man 20 minutes later like "VARRRICCCCCCCCCCC" in like, TEARS LMAOOOO. Eventually she and Fenris settle down and she finds a lot of comfort in how blunt he is, and I like to think he finds comfort in the fact that she tries to stay kind despite her life circumstances.

She loves Varric, adores Merrill, and would (and literally nearly did) die for Isabela. She and Anders are very co-workers esque and she thinks Sebastian's a drag HAHA

Athena's big thing is that she thinks Literally Everything is her fault and she could have, should have, done better. It informs a lot of her choices and obviously does not lead to the healthiest of mindsets. She also resents the fuck out of being The Champion because she resents that all of a sudden she is in charge of things and how did this HAPPEN (a common thread in my protags in different ways LMAOOO)

I think post Kirkwall she and Fenris shack up for a minute before they get back out there. I like to think all my protags take vacations after their games LMAOO THEY DESERVE IT. She also cuts her hair because it makes her think of her mom and is still keeping it short by the time Inquisition happens.

By the time Inquisition happens, because I love spice and sadness, she and Fenris are not necessarily broken up but they are a bit strained because of Hawke's tendency to throw herself into things even when they could be deadly, which Fenris would Prefer She Stop Doing.

Also, lil fun fact - Athena has a lot of patience and tries to stick to "no unnecessary murdering" until she snaps and goes wild. She IS a reaver, so. Circe........I do not have favorites, but, hypothetically, if I did, Circe Lavellan may possibly be my favorite.

She has the strongest personality out of her, Hera and Athena which was REAL FUN. She DOES NOT WANT TO BE INQUISITOR which is a very fun journey because by the time Samson tells her something isn't her business, I got really into playing as her and OUT LOUD, IN DISCORD, AS HER, I said "I am the INQUISITOR. EVERYTHING IS MY BUSINESS." When anyone would ask her if she thought she was the herald/believed in Andraste she HARDCORE AVOIDED THE QUESTION, just like she hardcore avoided questions about her intentions for the inquisiton after corypheus. (she did not know and she very much was like "we should be focusing on SAVING THE WORLD FIRST, HOW IS THAT NOT YOUR FIRST PRIORITY)

Circe was..............very popular. The way Cullen was animated made it seem like he had a GIANT CRUSH ON HER which my entire discord had a field day with, because for Circe humans are Always On Strike Two. (at some point there was a scene happening and Circe left the room and Cullen watched and my friend went "I THINK HE JUST CHECKED OUT HER ASS I AM NOT KIDDING") This became funnier when Cullen's plan was what ultimately saved Clan Lavellan because she very much was like "I owe this human man a life debt. I hate it here." Solas took her on that whole fade date and she was like "ahaha yes, FRIEND, FRIEND WHOSE FRIENDSHIP I VALUE," and she and Blackwall had a whole Flirty Thing going on until Bull showed up, which really tells you about what Circe's tastes are LMAOOO.

Circe and Bull are..............they...........mean so much to me..........They very much have a murder pact ("If I go mad"/"If I become an abomination") that they openly joke about to horrify people but ultimately would not if possible/would be in great pain if they had to go through with it! Which is fun! Circe would find comfort in Bull being like, a Thoughts Free Zone for a bit and then she'd be like Unfortunately I Now Have Feelings For This Man. She'd be very embarrassed about it all until she finally fessed up and then they'd be DISGUSTING TOGETHER LMAOOOOO. Just UNBEARABLY CORNY. Also, Circe would absolutely let Bull throw her in battle, and since she's a Knight Enchanter it's all very fun and chaotic.

Side note: Cole is absolutely a little brother to her, she dotes on him like crazy and adores being with him. She gets very defensive of him and spends a good chunk of her free time with him, especially after he becomes human and she can track him down more easily

Circe also would become more and more anxious of losing her personhood, of everything she's done be for nothing, of being remembered as a concept and not a living breathing thing - i'm talking like full on panic attacks, unable to sleep, having to be calmed down about it. - ESPECIALLY after Ameridan. She tries to (somewhat) prioritize joy after that, finally visits Clan Lavellan after avoiding them for literal years (I played Descent and Hakkon after the main game to give the game a better sense of time passing before Tresspasser), ect.

By Tresspasser she is Fed Up, not sleeping, not eating, and also her arm is doing That Whole Thing concerning the fuck out of Bull LMAOOO. The ongoing joke was that Bull had DEFINITELY suggested cutting her arm off at multiple points in time, and when it actually happened it felt very monkey's paw HAHA. She definitely freaks out on Solas and is like oh I gotta KILL THIS GUY!! Also, because it feels relevant, she DID NOT LIKE MORRIGAN and drank from the well.

Also! Playlists. Everyone has a playlist! I use these while drawing to get me in the mindset so they're not in chronological order but here's Hawkes, Circes, and Heras which is the most work in progress since I just finished Origins and need to.....maybe take out the MULTIPLE songs about dying HAHAHA

EDIT: also because I played the games out of order and used the default world states for 2 and inquisition due to some Choices I made during Origins Circe is uhhhhhhh going to have either Fenris try to kill her or Hera and THAT'S GONNA BE FUN FOR HER

#I feel like I'm pulling my wallet out and showing you pictures of my kids while I talk about why they should be in therapy #athena hawke #circe lavellan #ask #not art

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izukult · 4 years ago

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Okok awesome! 🖤🖤 I do have a wide variety in my music taste but artists most in my rotation are definitely Tyler the creator, Doja cat (streets?? Pls on rpt 🤤) and Arctic Monkeys, (pls don’t feel restrained by these artists tho !) very much chill vibes and driving late at night if that makes sense asjfkdkka. Personality wise I’m pretty awkward and fairly antisocial, very much ->🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️😨 but once you get to know me I’m pretty loud and a little much tbh 🤭 like my laugh is genuinely TOO loud lmaooo, and I would very much appreciate it with Kageyama if that’s not too much to ask 😳👉🏼👈🏼 thank you again 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

hello my love. if i hadn’t known you, i wouldn’t have done this any kind of justice. BUT STRAP YOUR ASS IN WIFEY YOU KNOW WHAT IT BE. @chubbybunny111

you and kageyama.

oh god you and kageyama would scare the fuck out of me as a couple. have you seen those memes like boy who doesn’t talk all too much 💖 girl who loud asf? you two. LMAOOO.

definitely you two make fun of each other. on the daily. but, he also grumbles little compliments to u all nervous like. i feel like he would very much like your hair?? like,, it’s so curly,, it’s so pretty,,,, do a fella a favor and let him play with it, yeah?

i’m just imaging you in your straight clothes from high school and him in a disgusting unwashed sweaty ass volleyball uniform😻😻 IM SORRY OK ANYWAY

you two share earbuds all the time. just sittin next to each other in moderate silence with tunes playing.

he is so bad at texting LMAOOO. you’d send an ironic emoji and he’s done for? he just stares at it. blankly. void of any emotion other than confusion.

“i’m sorry did you just send ‘🤕’ after telling me you love me?”

“hey, you’re crying. why are you using 😋 right now?”

i’m sorry for making fun of him but also i’m NOT THATS SO FUNNY.

now, don’t take what i said earlier wrong, he’s not just like oh yes quiet around you (that’s not his personality people need to be better🙄), but when you two are in public he’s not like really affectionate? unless he’s jealous because he is (infact) an insecure bitch, but whenever that happens it feels forced and awkward figure that out kags.

we see the way he acts with hinata like? if he’s comfortable with you he’s going to be loud as fuck there’s no denying it. yall get told to shut up like on the daily?

shares his milk with you😁 not his food tho

LMAOFJAOFJS IM SORRY BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THAT MANS RELATIONSHIP WITH EATING? you ain’t getting between that babe

anyway here’s a fucking playlist for your hot ass i am literally in love with you. i really like this playlist tbh :)

1. sometimes (backwood); gigi- starting off with my favorite song at the moment. this isn’t really completely a deep meaning with the lyrics thing, because this song is pretty sad? i think it’s so vibey. it’s so good. it’s just a gentle, quiet night with the windows open and a full moon. however, like i said he’s insecure and has overthought while listening to this song.

2. breezeblocks; alt-J- mostly just a banger, indeed. you’re driving (i would not trust him behind the wheel? ever?), the lights are super pretty, he’s looking at you from the passenger seat ‘discretely’. he doesn’t want you to go, so those lyrics are accurate, but he’s also not a murderer dw😁 he couldnt

3. i wanna be yours; arctic monkeys- PHEW. OKAY. OKAY JESUS CHRSIT. no because you don’t understand yall are in LOVE? like in LOVE. he probably kisses you for the first time while this shit playing. he also, by default, blushes EVERY TIME THIS SONG COMES ON. such a lil bitch baby🙄

4. sucker; jonas brothers- stop before you say anything this song is unironically so good. i? could imagine you like? terribly dancing to this i dunno. i feel like if you got tobio in the right mood he would jam to some music w you‼️

5. EARFQUAKE; tyler, the creator- i think kageyama was like the kind of guy who mentally was constantly like “i want a gIRLFRIEND FUCK🤬🤬🤬”, but lile also once it happens? svary as fuck. have we not talked about how he does not really like himself much (thinking ab him practicing his smile rn poor baby). so yea, bad self confidence & in love with you. this song. PLUS, it’s a banger.

6. streets; doja cat- you at him lmao. do i have to say anything else?

7. ivy; frank ocean- he would put this song on a playlist for you and then not tell you about the song or the playlist and still get nervous about how youd react lmaooo. however, yknow in movies when like the guy looks at the girl and the music swells? that but with an emo volleyball player and frank ocean

8. redbone; childish gambino- very chill vibes and driving late at night energy. this song plays while yall lay on like ur couch or smth and you’re messing with the ends of his hair and he’s playing videos on his phone with one hand and like kind of awkwardly nervously trying to hold ur hand with the other and he just does the pinky thing thAT WE WERE TALKIN BOUT LMAOO

9. cocoa butter kisses; chance the rapper- i feel like if you were to smoke, this is the song you’d get high to. i don’t have much reason other than that? i can just see this playing in the background as you two exist together

10. my kind of woman; mac demarco- man, you’re really driving him mad🙄 BUT‼️ I THINK? ITS ALRIGHT WITH HIM😳. he’s absolutely whipped and he didn’t even know he had the ABILITY. i feel like you like to prove people wrong, so here’s another instance.

11. casual; doja cat- i know everyone hates getting played, but you feel like you would take a LOTTA precautions to avoid that, including the whole walls up deal. you’re super upfront about it? you’re not like secretly testing the waters, you’re like ‘if ur fucking w me gtfo of my face lol’ but clearly you wouldn’t talk to kags like that (however he’d hurriedly say he’s not a little too loud)

12. afraid; the neighbourhood- ABSOLUTE TOBIO ENERGY (also oikawa energy, i think its so cute that we are married and the mfs we choose to love r rivals). but anywho, absolute MAD tobio energy. yes he also takes out his insecurities with anger don’t actually like he’s not gonna have to work on that lmao

13. sex on fire; kings of leon- arguably one of the best songs to ever exist. he would be like ?!😳 the first time he heard it and youd probably like flick him LMAOFJAODJ this is just a good jam song for you two. he would definitely sing this song with you, don’t care don’t care

14. scary love; the neighbourhood- i’m beginning to think the neighbourhood just has kageyama energy? remind me to look into that later. either way, i’m putting extreme emphasis on this song. this song is completely how he feels. this song is IT. he watches in anticipation as he “shows you it cos it’s a good song”. please just be nice to him (while also bullying him😁)

15. when you were young; the killers- you’ve made out to this song i’m so sorry. MAYBE THATS JUST BECAUSE I THINK THIS WOULD BE THE PERFECTTTTJRJEJTI SONG. god. good fucking music. equal mix of good song and the lyrics hitting

#haikyuu x reader #bunny :d #smh my wife #haikyuu playlists #ikigaitooru playlists #kageyama #kageyama tobio #kageyama playlist #tobio playlist #kageyama x reader #kageyama tobio x reader #kageyama tobio playlist #lol #kageyama hcs #kageyama fluff

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jackedspicer · 4 years ago

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a bio for my xiaolinsona! she’s a work in progress so i’m bound to come back and change it. trivia and more in depth information is under the readmore :)

continued trivia:

she’d show up somewhere near the start of season 4

she’s used a LOT for slapstick. in fact she’s mostly a comic relief character

she’s guided mainly by emotions, is right brain oriented, and is a hands-on learner

there is a running gag where she frequently has bandaids on her fingers, hands, arms, or anywhere really

she’s a massive funk junkie. LOVES disco. she’s also a great dancer

when she comes up with xiaolin showdowns, sometimes she’ll base it off of fun recreational activities or things that seem harmlessly mundane, like mini golf..... tic tac toe.....dance-off...... rock paper scissors..... the showdowns themselves obviously end up being high-stakes and lethal as they always are, except they’re based off of goofy premises

she’s probably musically accented by grunge that’s slightly funky

when it’s funny, she occasionally will use huge words or make jarringly philosophical statements, eg patrick star’s “the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma” cut to footage of milk spilling

shes a lot like charlie kelly. in general. any charlie moment is just. Her. she’s a wild card and screams every line and huffs glue and tries to get the honey out of a hornets nest outside of jacks house because she thinks hornets make honey and she likes ghouls and she genocides the rats in his basement and sleeps ass to ass with him and is illiterate

she likes to do arts and crafts but they almost always come out as abominations. she’ll occasionally borrow some of jack’s tools to construct her latest atrocity, and she’ll refer to them by a wrong/made up name while she’s at it. “the hacksaw duey”, “the electric hole puncher,” ”the automatic pizza cutter”, etc. yes the projects and the bandaids have a direct cause and effect relationship. please refer to this video (and this channel in general)

youtube

imagine her sitting at a table and just doing this in jack’s lair... this video alone can be used to sum up so much of her. the technique. the bandaids. the blatantly wrong information that’s said with such conviction. the dark turn towards the end of the video. “superfluous protrusion.” the way it ends

continued trivia pt. 2, taken from my instagram

(i’ll get into this more further down the post)

fighting style because this is xiaolin showdown:

she has a very nimble, disorienting style of combat. using pokemon stats as an analogy, her highest would be speed by far, followed by attack, with her lowest stats being defense and special attack. this combined with her unrelenting nature makes her an excellent distraction and a general nuisance, but she doesn’t fare well in prolonged head to head battle.

favorite shen gong wu:

monkey staff, mikado arms, fancy feet, neptune helmet, hoduko mouse, woozy shooter (on herself), tongue of saiping, longi kite, indigo pyramid (on jack (cause it’s funny))

*the shen gong wu she’s most skilled with in battle are ones that trip up her opponents and cause status ailments. kinda like a prankster

backstory/analysis:

at her core, she’s a jolly, optimistic, humorous person, but her unruly, isolating childhood put a blow on her psyche. much like jack spicer, she’s been virtually alone her entire life - she was rejected by peers and adult figures alike since earliest childhood, and her home life was turbulent at best.

to ease the pain, at some point, she took on resenting and judging those around her as a means to cope. she has a holden caulfield-esque defense mechanism in play where if everybody sucks for this reason, or that reason, or those reasons, then she has justification for detaching herself from others, and she can derive her only source of self esteem from being better than them. this hurts far less than the devastating truth that she cannot connect with people on account of feeling so worthless and estranged from other human beings that she could never have the chance to be cared about by anyone. deep down, she’s in desperate, thrashing need of support and genuine human connection, and she has a warped perception of how she can achieve that.

she’s taken up evil as a hobby because it nurtures her desire to be destructive and, again, just like jack spicer, she engages in it as a way to feel seen. all press is good press, and the best way to make the headline is to cause some damage. what sets her apart from him in this regard, though, is that she takes all of her pain out on her enemies (in this case, the xiaolin monks) because she can’t stand how well off they are - instead, on the basis of their acceptance of one another, she sees them as goody two-shoes phonies who ought to be knocked down a peg. while evil to jack is both a means of getting much needed attention and a convoluted way of spending time with friends, to sid it’s a way to vent frustrations and a way to, well... still garner attention, but also spend time with a friend, except the friend is jack.

the other half of the reason she partakes in petty villainy is that it’s just... fun. she only got wrapped up in all this because she’d been restlessly putzing around somewhere remote, found a neat doohicky she planned on keeping, and when one thing led to another she wound up in a xiaolin showdown against jack. experiencing the chaos unfold revealed a golden opportunity she couldn’t pass up, so she asked jack to let her come with, debuting their partnership (i talk about this in further detail at the end of the post). goofing off and doing evil with him is so much fun to her! it makes her feel alive, a sensation and state of mind she never could fully achieve before.

noteworthy relationships:

jack:

they have a team rocket thing going on. not in terms of their interpersonal dynamic, but rather their role in the story, how much of a threat they pose as, their schemes, and even their overall attitude are reminiscent of the iconic duo; they’re petty, recurring villains with hearts of gold who aren’t above occasionally siding with the good guys.

even though they both are on the same tier of comic relief and general foolishness, the metaphor i like to draw is that jack is the left brain and sid is the right brain.

their personalities have such chemistry and they’re both so goofy that they effortlessly sync up. everyone thinks it’s REALLY annoying

they’re best friends! they actually care very deeply for one another, even if they might have funny ways of showing it. they may be evil, but they’re mutually the only and closest friend the other has ever had, and with that carries a lot of weight. think of it - the first person you meet who hasn’t been nothing but awful to you likes you and wants to be around you. What a concept

while their relationship is platonic, there are several gags implying a romantic element, even though nothing is ever outright stated. kisses on the cheek, bashfulness, other characters making fun of them (“where’s your DUMB little girlfriend?” “..........she’s not DUMB!!!!!”), domestic references (“am i sleeping on the couch”)..... it’s left ambiguous because it’s hetbait plain and simple. somebody asks them what they even are and they say Partners In Crime wym. jack asks sid What Are We and she fist pumps the flat of her own chest twice, throws a peace sign and says We’re Bros

their nicknames for each other include but are not limited to “jackass, jacky-boy, jack-o-lantern, smarty pants, wiggles, spack jicer, spack, mr spack, spackle”, and “shortstack, pipsqueak, sid the kid, champ, funky monkey, foxy (in a funny way, he’ll say it like Whatcha Up To Foxy ? while she’s like making a mess doing an arts & crafts abomination or just vibing bein her weird lil self.... it comes from a place of playful sarcasm and affection) (champ, funky monkey, and foxy are courtesy of @currentlyfallingthroughspace)

to piggyback off of the left brain vs. right brain metaphor, “heart vs. brain is how they think, right brain vs. left brain is how they act, and two halves of a heart represents their natural dispositions” is how my aforementioned friend put it. they both have a lot of heart and are ooey gooey on the inside, but the difference is that sid can grasp the intricacies of emotional/psychological matters while jack can’t (actually knowing how to EXPRESS this is another topic). it’s in the same way that jack can effectively plan ahead, use logical reasoning, and know where to go and how to get there, but sid is shabby in this department. “one is aware but doesn’t address it until it’s too late, and one can’t see it and doesn’t ask until it’s too late.”

another feature of potential conflict in all incarnations of them is the juxtaposition of sid actually being more down to earth than jack in the grand scheme of things. jack has the potential to go completely overboard, and whether or not he demonstrates the ability to catch himself on the event horizon will ascertain the outcome.

deep down, neither of them are truly evil, and they bring this out in each other as they ultimately contribute to the redemption of one another. how this actually happens is a lot rockier. sid has the intuition and self awareness to become increasingly cognizant of the fact that she engages in schemes as a way to bond with her friend, and, over time, she’s able to recognize that she’s simply been acting out, and she consequently softens up over time - but jack is much denser in this regard. he doesn’t consciously pick up on the same things she does and still believes that she’s drinking the koolaid as much as he is. the crucial dissonance in what matters most that had been incubating under the weight of things left unsaid emerges in a major falling out that challenges the nature of their entire dynamic and respective moral codes. i had a lot of help from the same friend with the following series of events and it’s really something that ought to be gone into detail on its own post, but a whirlwind brief summary is that jack becomes desperate from losing over and over so he comes up with this sinister plan that’s just too far, sid tells him to stop, they get into a nasty fight, sid leaves and makes it clear she’s not coming back, she goes to the xiaolin dragons for help, jack goes on an evil rampage but also loses his grip and has this mental breakdown because he lost the one person who’s ever cared about him (or so he thought), sid has the same brutal separation pangs but it doesn’t change the fact that jack is still doing what he’s doing, sid gets a firsthand view of a fight breaking out between the monks while she’s working with them and has a moment of clarity when she observes how they resolve it in such a healthy way, as they continue to work together and help her through the whole fiasco she realizes they’re not so bad, an entire excruciating series of events that’s genuinely too large to fit on this post unfolds and it ultimately ends with jack actually having to team UP with the good guys to stop what he started, and it ends with them breaking down, apologizing, and beginning their redemption BUT not without the illustration of several lessons that arose out of the complications of the entire thing...... the overarching lesson that’d been entrenched in their entire dynamic from the start, albeit corny, is that caring and being cared for was all they ever needed, and they learn to cultivate that within each other right under their own noses. it would be fun to have them stay as recurring villains forever, but seeing how much good is in their hearts is enough to make you wonder how they were ever evil.

xiaolin monks:

she thinks she hates them, but she doesn’t really. while her opinion of them is marked by resentment and distaste, she also holds them in high regard. a part of her wishes she could be friends with them, but the mental landscape she’s paved for herself doesn’t reveal that as an option. in her mind, she’s already been rejected by them. so why try?

the way she takes her pain out on them - people who had nothing to do with her traumas - can be summed up by the spinel su quote, “why do i want to hurt you so bad? i’m supposed to be a friend. i just want to be a friend.”

she gets chummier with them upon her redemption. out of the group, she gets along best with clay and dojo :)

bonus origin episode

this would be the imaginary early season 4 episode i mentioned at the beginning of the post. it’s more of a loose string of ideas tied together with reckless abandon but hey. the episode would open with jack feeling lonely and down on his luck to establish the theme that he kinda needs a friend (”wuya’s gone, chase trained his cats to get surly with me if i show up, my evil dream team won’t answer my calls....”). his sulking is interrupted by a shen gong wu alert and he’s like. whatever. i don’t need them. i’m still gonna do this on my own. even if it’s. ˡᵒⁿᵉˡʸ. fastforward to the scene i described where sid is putzing around with her doohicky (which i’m considering might be the neptune helmet) all by her sad miserable lonesome when suddenly some flying bloke in a trenchcoat who looks like he hasn’t seen the sun in years shows up telling her she’s got something he needs. she of course responds with something along the lines of “you know what? why don’t you try to take it from me since you want it so bad, mr big stuff,” triggering a xiaolin showdown. this is around the time the xiaolin dragons show up too late - but they’re grateful for somebody having been there to fight jack in time, even if they have no idea who they are. she has no clue what’s going on, but whatever it is, she LOVES it. she goes buckwild. she has a time. jack, on the other hand.... well, understanding how badly he needs that wu is certainly throwing a wrench in it, but he can’t help but feel like he’s having a bit of fun too. well, up until he loses. post-showdown, the monks kinda count their chickens before they hatch so to speak and they rush over to this new kid with a shower of praise, thinking they have a friend on their side. instead, she cuts them off, shouts to the guy who’s gathering his bearings (or lack thereof) - “hey! jack was it?” - and playfully tosses her shen gong wu in the air, catching it. “you look like you need this thing way more than i do. tell you what! take me with and i’ll let you borrow it,” is what she follows it up with, implying she wasn’t really that invested and only saw the whole thing as a fun game. jack and the monks are flabbergasted. what’s more bizarre is she did in fact ask to join him, something nobody’s ever done out of their own volition before. she talks about how boooooooooooring it is here and how that was soooooo much fun and to pleeeeeeeease take her with. he’s really iffy about it and doesn’t know if it’s such a good idea. he tries to make himself look cool, telling her “as IF, shortstack..........im afraid The Jack Rides Alone................................................. but-” and ultimately buckling because he can’t deny that it would be nice to have someone around.

#IM PROBABLY GONNA COME BACK AND CHANGE SO MANY PETTY THINGS BUT I HAD TO RIP OFF THE BANDAID #xiaolin showdown #xiaolin showdown oc #xiaolinsona #draws #btw her last name is question marks because i havent come up with anything yet #i have utmost confidence about this i literally think of her and jack as a duo even though shes not a real character #also it's important to add that i hope it goes without saying that a lot of her qualities arent direct translations of my own #her qualities are based on my own and are in some cases translated to represent how it would manifest in this narrative #sonas are tools u know. not being like THIS IS LITERALLY ME!!! cause its a bit different #for example my own opinions of the other characters and her opinions of the other characters differ. u kno for tha story #xiaolinsonabio

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sortavibing · 4 years ago

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hii there, could i get a male romantic match up pls ?? i’m a infp, 5’3, virgo & slytherin. my pronouns are she/her & i’m bi. i love dancing, learning languages, music, memes, alt fashion, making people laugh, piercings, tattoos, making playlists & affection. i’m v insecure & i also have really bad anxiety so i lowkey need someone to take care of me bc i’m a mess and i always put others before me, sometimes i even forget to eat. my body type is curvyish, with chubby cheeks & brown eyes and i often dye my hair (it’s currently half black, half pink). i’m usually at home, whenever i go out i always put on my earphones. my music taste is very wide, i pretty much listen to everything. however, the bands/artists that i listen to the most are: lil peep, the neighbourhood, arctic monkeys & mother mother. i’m pretty opinionated and sarcastic, even though i’m an introvert i’m not afraid to talk back if i have to. i despise any kind of discrimination, having been bullied myself the first few years of high school. i use lots of “internet slang” on the daily and use emojis ironically. i hate being vulnerable in front of others, that’s why i always put an “idgaf” attitude even though i overthink everything. i kinda have trust issues and i’m very bad at expressing my feelings vocally, so i usually do it with affection, that’s why i consider it my love language. it’s really hard for me to say no to someone so people usually take advantage of me and even if i know it, i can’t stop it bc i just want to make everyone happy ): aaaa this was sooo long but i wanted it to be as specific as possible so it’d be easier for u. thank you so much, i hope you’re taking care of yourself properly. <3 <3

hello! thank you for requesting! you sound like so much fun to be around (we are lowkey the same) and i aspire to have your hair (i kinda screwed mine up today :I). anyways, here’s your matchup!

i match you up with iwazumi!

iwazumi is actually pretty good at comforting and caring for people, because he has so much practice helping oikawa, so he will always be there for you to remind you to eat, help you through a panic attack, compliment you, and just be a very stable anchor in your life that will ground you while still showing you affection.

he also thinks the alt fashion is really cool, and you were able to convince him to get a helix piercing, and though he pretends it was all your idea, he actually really likes it, and often looks for different studs/rings when he is out shopping. his favorite earring he has is one with 2 silver rings that are a little rough and handmade looking.

if you guys are out in a public place, he always brings a spare set of earphones and a portable battery, just in case you misplace your earphones or your phone runs out of battery. he really likes when you make playlists for him, and whenever he misses you, he listens to one of the playlists you made for him.

iwa really enjoys physical affection too, but he doesn’t initiate it that much, so if you guys are walking together, please hold his hand, because that will literally make his day. he would also be really good at giving hugs, so if you ever are feeling bad, he would wrap you in his arms and just stay there until you feel a little better.

he will always offer to help you touch up your dyed roots, and he’s surprisingly really good at it, so iwazumi has now become your resident hairstylist, and he secretly enjoys dying your hair, so while he does grumble a few complaints when he has to help you, he soon gets really into it, and even offers to try something a little more complicated, because he thinks it would look really good on you.

one of your most memorable dates was when iwazumi surprised you with tickets to an arctic monkey’s concert. you guys were almost late to the show, but once you got there, you and iwa spent the whole night dancing and singing with each other, and after the concert, he took you to your favorite place to eat (if it was open), and you spent the rest of the night and the morning just talking with each other and enjoying the city.

when he first saw you voice your opinion against discrimination towards LGBTQ+, and got into an argument with someone about it, he was really surprised and impressed that you were able to hold your ground and still keep your cool. seeing the side of you that was willing to defend what you believe in made him fall in love with you a little bit more, and he was sure to mention how amazing it is that you refuse to let people be discriminatory against others.

iwazumi refuses to let people walk all over you, so if you ever tell him that you are uncomfortable in a situation and you don’t want to say no, he will immediately be there, in person or on the phone to shut down that person fast. he hates that people want to take advantage of you, so he will do everything in his power to show others that you aren’t just a girl who won’t say no.

he knows you like the alt fashion, so if he ever sees something that he is sure will look good on you, he will buy it and give it to you the next time he sees you, so because of this, a lot of your favorite items of clothing are bought by iwazumi, and whenever you wear them around him, he gets really proud that you like what he bought for you.

overall, you and iwazumi are the peak rbf couple, but you both care a lot about each other. he always makes sure that you put yourself before anyone else, because he just wants you to realize how beautiful and amazing you are. your relationship was built on a lot of trust, and you know he would never lie to you, because he just wants you to be happy.

i hope you enjoyed!

#haikyuu #haikyuu matchups #iwazumi hajime #iwazumi #haikyu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcanons #iwazumi headcanons #haikyu headcanons #iwazumi imagines #haikyu imagines #haikyuu imagines #iwa #iwazumi x you

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krazy-kipo · 4 years ago

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Going Back for Hugo

~ You were Song and Lios lab assistant. You were learning to be a scientist in the burrow and although it was a sensitive project Emilia trusted your schools test scores and believed this would be an easy first job for you.

~ Hugo was very cuddly and took to you very quickly. He was a good mandril and you knew he hated his formulas but it was part of your job to give them to him. He always scrunched up his face when he had to take them and looked at you betrayed. You always apologize rubbing his little head and give him some water to wash out the taste but there isn't much you can do.

~ Song and Lio quickly became your second parents and you enjoyed spending time with them and Hugo. They spent time teaching you things school never did and you enjoyed studying and working with them. Hugo was a sweet mandril and you were defiently learning a lot from him and the formulas you gave him.

~ You often just speedily eat your lunch over the sink in Hugos room and then get right back to work. It was your job to time when Hugo got formulas and write a report on each one and what he does throughout the day and if there's any changes. So you couldn't stay with Hugo all the time but you tried. Hugo always got very upset when you left so Song and Lio asked if you could start writing reports in the room instead of in your office. Emilia finds it stupid but allows it.

~ As Hugo grows up your watch his progress happy knowing you helped with that. Despite having not mutated he's still pretty smart. He likes smashing blocks and honestly acts a lot like a toddler. You start affectionately calling him lil Brother and now whenever you call him Hugo he gets fussy.

~ Hugo gets very attached to you and Song always teases that your his favorite. Which comes to be true in the following months. When Hugo first speaks it's to you. He's so proud. He says your name and spells it in the blocks he loves and you almost cry. But... this is wrong. What Emilia wants to do to him and other mutes like him is wrong.

~ You tell Hugo that he can talk in front of you Lio and Song but never anyone else. Emilia is... well she's mean and she'll hurt Hugo. Hugo despite being young seems to understand and only speaks in front of the three of you.

~ You read him stories and books and he fantasizes about being a king. You tell him there are no Kings left but you still make him a paper crown so he feels like one. He likes playing games where he's King and your his Nobel Knight or your a princess and he's your knight in shining armor. He always comes up with new ways to make you laugh and is a very sweet boy.

~ You're playing the piano one day to help him sleep when he comes over and sits in your lap. Smiling you begin showing him how to play. It's late so no one will see you. He begins practicing after you leave for the night and soon he's a master! He's a good singer too and he likes making up silly songs to make you laugh.

~ You're young but you realize quickly the burrow isn't nice. There are as many dangers inside just like the outside. You're the one who suggests you take Hugo and leave to the surface but then Song gets pregnant. It's unsafe to have the baby so you agree you should wait until their borne.

~ Hugos so excited!!! He has you and Song and Lio and nows he's getting a baby brother or sister!!! He can't wait to see the surface. He can't wait to see the world. You shh him when he begins getting to excited and hugging him close you show him books about the surface world and tell him stories that your grandmother told your mom about the old world.

~ One night after you leave Hugo you learn Emilia saw Hugo playing the piano. You come in and see Emilia yelling and arguing at Song and Lio. She turns towards you and before you can defend yourself she begins screaming.

"DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS???" You back up into a wall as Emilia corners you beginning to yell at you too. Hugo runs up and begins yelling at her defending you. Emilia demands a blood sample and Hugo hisses. You hold Hugo close saying it'll be alright but suddenly you can't move or think. Everything is hazy and everyone's speech sounds fuzzy.

~ Once you snap out of it hours later you learn Hugo has the ability to manipulate his phermones to control other people. Mandrils have pheromones that can influence other monkeys but when he mutated his phermones became stronger. He can now control any primates.

~ Emilia is giddy with this knowledge and the next thing you know Hugo becomes a real lab monkey. He's forced to run every single day and Emilia collects huge vats of his pheromones. He's barely given any food or water and it's a mess. Emilia tries to bar you from seeing Hugo since you've gotten attached but you ignore her.

~ Every night you can you sneak in the lab and visit Hugo. You bring him toys and treats and do your best to keep him happy. You keep apologizing for letting this happen and he keeps telling you he forgives you. Song and Lio keep promising to leave as Song gets closer to her delivery but you feel somethings up with Song and it isn't Burrow pox.

~ The day comes when Kipos borne. Emilia practically knocks down their door and you run to get Hugo. You end up getting in the room before there's a massive earthquake and you're knocked unconcious.

~ You wake up to sun. Blinding sun and loud roaring.

"HUGO! HUGO!" You begin panicking spinning around. Songs gone. Lios gone. Kipos gone. You're panicking as you dig through the rubble hoping to find something anything to tell you their alive.

~ You hear crying and running towards a toppled piece of the building you find a scared Hugo looking at the sky. Looking up you see Emilia laughing as she sprays phermones at a giant Mega Mute. Holding Hugo close YOU RUN.

~ You have no supplies. No food. No shelter. But you two have each other. You tell Hugo you don't know what happened to Song or Lio or Kipo. They may be dead but you have to hope they got out and are okay and away from Emilia. He's sad because they didn't come back for him. But he's happy because you did.

~ Sleeping on the surface is hard. Hugo gets nightmares and with his heightened sense of hearing every little sound scares him. You have to sing him to sleep most nights and hold him til he stops shaking.

~ Months later and your getting used to surface life. You know not to touch the Mega Bunny babies, what places to avoid, and what territories and mutes are safe. It takes a long time but you and Hugo adjust. You find out how to scavenge and you guys barley just barely survive.

~ You end up going into Organutang and Monkey territory. Eventually they trust you enough to let you in thinking your metal. For one you survived a collapsing building and for two your covered in small scars and can fight. In the bunker you took self defense lessons ans on the surface they came in handy. You understood plants and animals and because of this you were able to survive. You beat a monkey in a fight and you and Hugo are welcomed into the pack. The monkeys don't really like you but you can throw a punch and take care of yourself so they respect you enough to stay.

~ Eventually weeks turn to months and you meet up with Lio and you see Kipo. You're so angry and a little bitter but your glad he made it out safe. He tells you about Song and you shake knowing you were right. She's gone. Lio explains how he and Kipo have just been running. How he wasn't able to go back and you feel yourself crying. He left you. He left Hugo. And he promised he'd be back...

~ You see Hugo getting upset and pausing you notice Kipo is curled up in his blanket. Wiping your eyes you try and comfort him but he ignores you looking at Lio. Hugo wants to hold Kipo but you see him shaking. About to calm him down he lunges for Kipo making the poor girl cry. Lio pushes him away knocking him into you and leaves you. Again.

~ You begin crying and shaking holding Hugo close and he holds you back the piece of the star blanket still in his hands. Something in Hugo changes that day. He's not as nice after and he gets angry whenever humans other than you are mentioned. He uses his phermones on the other monkeys and takes control of the pack. You tell him he shouldn't use his pheromones in such a way and he ignores your advice. He however has never used his phermones on you.

~ He becomes Scarlemagne. He says it's all for you. To keep you safe and both of you in power but you can see what's happening to him and you don't like it. Don't like what he's becoming. You watch as the Hugo you know and love changes and slowly he becomes Scarlemagne the most powerful mute on the surface. Your his beloved sibling so he'd never hurt you but you see him becoming unhinged. You want to help him but you don't know how and you fear soon you'll loose the mandril you love forever.

#kataow #hugo #hugos sibling #lio oak #lio #song oak #song #plantonic oak family #plantonic hugo #kataow x reader #kipo and the age of wonderbeasts x reader #kipo and the age of wonderbeasts insert

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johannesviii · 5 years ago

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Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2019

The last list, for now. It’s been a wild ride.

Not the best of these lists, but some really refreshing stuff charted that year, and what was good was super good. And also, here’s a barely elligible #1 that nobody seemed to care about for some reason.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

In 2019, my finger was fixed, I dropkicked depression in the garbage bin (with a little help from Eurovision because it was super good and full of hilarious shit), got married, and went on a roadtrip on Vancouver Island (BC, Canada), and that was my first real travel in 13 years. Met a lot of great people, seen amazing places, trees, bears and whales. And planes are also part of the adventure when you’re not used to them (you can watch movies on little screens from your seat now?? I had no idea. I watched so many movies). It was very exciting.

I also saw VNV Nation live in February, for the third time in six years. This time I had enough budget to buy a tshirt. I wasn’t expecting that concert to be even better than the previous two. At that point the new album had only been out for a couple of months and we still knew the lyrics of most of the new songs and Ronan’s face was constantly broadcasting a kind of “...........how” expression (face it guys, we like you. A lot). And they finished with All Of Our Sins and let me tell you, half the club was ready to start a revolution by the time that was over. Super intense.

Ok. 2019 albums! First, let’s talk about some negative things. Coldplay released Everyday Life at the end of the year. It was... uh. It was basically how I stopped loving their new stuff. That’s a very sad conclusion (for now) to this saga. This is exactly what I feared would have happened after Viva La Vida, aka them trying to go back to their earlier sound - except in the meantime we’ve got three fantastic albums with songs full of energy and joy. So I’m not too mad about this, just disappointed.

Within Temptation released Resist, and it wasn’t very good either, but I appreciated the general aesthetic of it. More SF-themed albums in symphonic metal, please. NF released The Search and while I’m still not a fan there’s a song on it that would have been #1 on this list if it had been elligible, so that’s something. And Carly Rae Jepsen released Dedicated and it was super good so why isn’t she getting new hits. Why. It feels unfair. Oh, and Avantasia made Moonglow and that’s the first time I’ve cared about their stuff in like a decade or so. Ghost In The Moon is super good, check it out.

But the big event of the year music-wise, as far as I’m concerned, was the return of two bands I thought we had lost forever. Of course My Chemical Romance reformed, but they don’t have new music yet, so the main event for this post is the return of Tool with Fear Inoculum. It’s not even their best album, but having a pretty good new Tool album in the year of our lord 2019 wasn’t at all something I was counting on. Of course, the hardcore fans are still as insufferable as ever (insert the “you need a pretty high IQ” copypasta here), but it didn’t spoil my enjoyment of it. Come on! Their first album in 13 years! 80 minutes of hypnotic heavy rhythms and weird shit, an album that trolled me when I opened it by playing a music video while I was looking somewhere else (yeah I jumped), and they even managed to land a track for one week on the US hot 100! Again, Tool! On the hot 100! in 2019! Unbelievable. Are we starting to return to the good timeline? I certainly hope so.

Unelligible songs, now. The Search by NF would have topped this list super easily. Might be one of the songs I listened to the most in 2019, actually. Now That I Found You by Carly Rae Jepsen, again, should have been a hit, and I beg you to watch this music video if you’ve never seen it. The 1975 released the super unexpected People, which was still good, and also Frail State of Mind. And most unexpected of all, three artists I didn’t care about at all teamed up and made absolute gold: I Think I’m OKAY, by Machine Gun Kelly, YUNGBLUD and Travis Barker. That would have been the second slot on this list if it had been elligible. Or maybe the first, even? Not sure. I’m just so happy this kind of angry but uplifting music is starting to become popular again. I just love everything about this song.

Here’s a short list of honorable mentions!

Roi (Bilal Hassani) - I don’t like this song a lot, but I do like it, I’m glad it was our song for the ESC 2019, and Bilal is a very nice and endearing person, and everyone who disrespects him on twitter is free to come fight me in the pit, where I’m still waiting with that tambourine from my 1992 list.

Con Calma (Daddy Yankee, Katy Perry, Snow) - You already know I liked the original Informer a lot, so I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t pleased to hear this clone of it on the radio.

Breathin’ (Ariana Grande) - Here’s the usual “if I had better taste this would be higher” honorable mention.

Summer Days (Martin Garrix) - In the absence of any new hit song from Macklemore this will do in a pinch.

Circles (Post Malone) - The fact that everyone seems to adore this and I’m over there saying “it’s ok I guess” probably means I will never love Post Malone nor understand the hype about him, and that’s okay, I can live with that.

High Hopes (Panic! At the Disco) - Still elligible. Still good but too borderline annoying to make the list.

How Do You Sleep (Sam Smith) - This year Sam Smith pulled a Viva La Vida and decided to stop making boring music all of a sudden and I’m LIVING FOR THIS. I certainly hope they continue in that direction.

And now, the list.

10 - La Grenade (Clara Luciani)

US: Not on the list / FR: #55

The only semi-filler on the list. I still like it a lot. Don’t have anything to say about it, though.

9 - Panini (Lil Nas X)

US: #40 / FR: Not on the list

Wasn’t too impressed by this at first and it took a while to grow on me, but the chorus is a nice little earworm, and “hey panini, don’t you be a meanie” has a tendency to pop in my head when I read hateful comments on the internet now. And Lil Nas X is just too endearing to be ignored. We’re so lucky to have someone who became famous so quickly and instantly decided to dress like a Jojo character and have the geekiest music videos possible and still be super nice and humble. We don’t deserve this guy.

8 - Dance Monkey (Tones And I)

US: Not on the list / FR: #6

I’m super glad the US are finally getting on the hype train in 2020 because this is a ton of fun. If the voice was juuuuuust a little less grating this would be even higher. Impossible to get it out of your head and somehow in this case that’s a good thing.

7 - Dancing With a Stranger (Sam Smith & Normani)

US: #14 / FR: Not on the list

As I said in the honorable mentions, Sam Smith pulled a Viva La Vida and decided to stop making boring music all of a sudden and I couldn’t be happier about that. This song is still a bit too calm for my taste most of the time, but when I’m in the right mood, it’s just fantastic.

Again, I hope Sam Smith continues in that direction, because if you had told me a couple of years ago that I would start to like their stuff one day, I would have laughed out loud.

6 - Bad Guy (Billie Eilish)

US: #4 / FR: #16

Duh.

I’m not as enthusiastic about When The Party’s Over as a ton of people are, mostly because, well, it’s a slow emotional song with little to no colour in it and by now you’re already aware I tend to have next to zero interest in that kind of songs. Bad Guy, on the other hand, is half hilarious half scary in equal doses, and even if I’m not super fond of the weird outro, it’s still a fantastic, weird as shit song, and I’m really glad Billie Eilish exists. Can’t wait to see where she goes from there.

I’m super glad this song didn’t come out when I was a teenager myself though. Come to think of it, I’m not sure I would have survived if the musical landscape from 16 years ago had been as depressed as it currently is. Thank god music is slowly getting more energetic again in 2020. Let’s stay on that track.

5 - Hey Look Ma I Made It (Panic! At The Disco)

US: #61 / FR: Not on the list

I follow several music critics on youtube and over the course of 2019, I’ve seen undiluted vitriol and hatred against this song (Spectrum Pulse even made a list of his “worst hit songs” of the decade and put this one at #10! TEN!!). And... I don’t really get where it’s coming from? Maybe I’m too literal-minded to see what the problem is with a sarcastic song saying “look I sold out and now I found success again! And it’s not that great!”. I just think it’s a lot of fun. Thank god Todd put it on his best list, at least we can agree on one thing for once.

It is hilarious that after putting so many Fall Out Boy songs on my lists, the one that I love the most from Panic! is the sellout song. Not sure why this was huge while the even better Say Amen wasn’t, though.

4 - Sunflower (Swae Lee & Post Malone)

US: #2 / FR: Not on the list

I usually don’t get the “chill” songs that tend to be successful these days but this one, unlike most Post Malone songs (bar Circles), has lovely pastel colors and a cloudy texture and it’s a really good vibe. It took several months to grow on me but it sure did.

In about ten years, people will listen to Sunflower and be submerged by nostalgia, mark my words.

3 - Old Town Road (Lil Nas X)

US: #1 / FR: #1 (see, everyone agrees for once)

Everyone on the planet already wrote a thinkpiece about this song and yet I’ve only seen maybe one out of five mentioning, just in passing, that the entire song is based on a Nine Inch Nail track from Ghosts I-IV, superbly re-used to make a weird and insanely catchy country hip hop song out of it. Ghosts has been one of my go-to albums to listen to while I’m painting for about ten years now. I’m saying all this because hearing a track from Ghosts on the radio for months was absolute bliss for me, especially in a new and improved version.

Thank you Lil Nas X for everything you’ve been doing and I wish you a long and successful career. You deserve it. I love this and I love you.

2 - Bury A Friend (Billie Eilish)

US: #73 / FR: Not on the list

Hello again, Billie Eilish.

This song is absolutely terrifying and that was before I even saw the music video. This is the soundtrack of your nightmares right there. I’m not even sure it deserves to be so high on the list, but frankly I’m too terrified to care. Maybe Old Town Road should be higher. I don’t know.

Also you have to know that when I’m super tired I go into echolalia mode and automatically repeat words or entire sentences that my brain considers interesting, like “potiron” (pumpkin) or “dramatique” ; and recently, my brain decided “when we all fall asleep, where do we go?”, sung exactly like it’s sung in this song, was its new favorite sentence. So. Hearing yourself saying that to an empty room while you’re drawing or folding clothes or cleaning plates is not a very pleasant experience, and it makes this song extra scary to me.

And now, here’s the last #1 of the last one of these lists (for now), and I’m glad to announce it closes this series of posts in a super fitting way.

Check this out. It’s so perfect in every way.

1 - Walk Me Home (Pink)

US: #99 / FR: Not on the list

Nobody seemed to care about this song over the course of 2019, and it's barely elligible, and I still have no idea why. The music reviewers I follow only either talked about it super briefly when it came out, or not at all. The rare ones who were making top 100s at the end of the year instead of top 10s usually put it somewhere in the middle of their lists. And yet it’s the elligible song I’ve listened to the most.

If you’ve been reading this series of posts for a while now, you probably already know exactly why it’s here, but here’s a quick recap.

The second album I ever bought in my life was Pink’s Missundaztood in 2002, and I loved her music a lot:

I was still really fond of her stuff in 2007:

Then she started to become less interesting and I basically ignored her apart from a brief blip on my radar in 2017:

Meanwhile, in 2012, fun. made some of the best songs of the entire decade before vanishing instantly, and I’ve been mourning them ever since:

And in the middle of last year, here I am, listening to the radio, and suddenly I hear something that sounds exactly like a fun. song, except I’ve never heard it before and it’s sung by a female singer, and, most importantly, it’s 2019 and fun. broke up more than six years earlier. And I’m like, what’s going on. This is so good. What the hell. What is this.

And I hear it a second time weeks later, and I google it, and I discovered that 1) it was Pink singing this, which made it my favorite Pink song in literally more than ten years, and 2) it was, indeed, written by one of the guys from fun., among other people who’s influence is less obvious.

I guess the main lesson from 2019, between newcomers making great music based on dead trends, old groups reforming, and this song, is that nothing’s gone forever, and things you used to enjoy can come back at the most unexpected time and in the most unexpected form.

There’s always, always gonna be new music to love, and it’s just a question of time.

Quick note

And with this, these lists are over... for now.

I don’t regret making them even if they were a ton of work, because that was super useful for a lot of different reasons.

They helped me get a better understanding of my own life’s chronology. That may sound stupid but I tend to link events to the music I was listening to at the time, and putting all that music in chronological order helped a lot.

I rediscovered a ton of songs I had completely forgotten about, and a lot of new ones. My playlist is much richer now and I’m happy about that.

I also discovered a few artists I knew nothing about.

It forced me to analyse two depressive episodes in my life and just because everything was now in exact chronological order, it accidentally helped me pinpoint what caused both of them. Better and cheaper than therapy. Impressive.

It made me realise how important some bands and artists had been in my life, and I relistened to some of their catalogue while making these lists. For some it was really obvious (Indochine, Placebo, Mylène Farmer, My Chemical Romance among some others), and for some others (Moby, Linkin Park, Mika in particular), it was a real surprise.

It made me realise that Placebo might have been huge in France but weirdly enough not that huge in the UK nor in the US. It’s especially striking when you look at their wikipedia page in English then in French and realise how detailed the French one is compared to the English one. Can’t believe Sleeping With Ghosts was a n°1 album here and basically nowhere else. That was the band where that discrepency was the most obvious but it wasn’t the only one like that. Really puts stuff in perspective.

It also helped me realise how cyclical popular music is. 1) trends tend to die near the end of every decade and the worst year is usually somewhere between the 8th and the 9th year. 2008 and 2018 tend to confirm this. 2) For the same reason, some new & interesting stuff appears at the beginning of every decade, and reaches its high point of quality between the 2nd and 4th year of the decade. 3) Basically I’m saying we’ve now passed the lowest musical quality in recent memory and 2022-2023 will have some exceptional music.

See you in December 2020. I have no doubt there’s a ton of great music coming up in the near future.

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #the last one #I can't believe this is over #I loved making these lists #spider tw #eye contact tw

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makeste · 6 years ago

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BnHA Chapter 219: Two Good Boys and One Unlucky Broker

Previously on BnHA: Katsuki and Shouto had their licenses for all of 30 minutes (literally) before deciding to put them to the test. But let’s backtrack a bit! It was a beautiful snowy day in December and class 1-A was chilling out and watching the news. We were introduced to a company called Detnerat, and their CEO who’s apparently a big fan of this dead terrorist guy named Destro who wrote a book about quirk supremacy and how people with superpowers need to rise up and liberate themselves and shit. It’s actually really interesting and I can see how these ideas would create a divide within hero society much like Stain’s ideology did. But anyway, so the CEO casually murdered his assistant for mocking these ideas, so that was deeply horrifying. And then he went to meet with some other villains (because yeah! he’s a villain, apparently!) who are apparently descendants of Destro (as is he, I presume), and they talked about how they’re gonna arrange a meetup with the League of Villains so that they can FUCK THEM UP. Plot twist! Anyways and then we cut to some hapless citizens who were being robbed by some banditos, and that’s when Katsuki and Shouto showed up as previously mentioned. So let’s see how this goes!

Today on BnHA: Katsuki and Shouto take on Soda Sam (who I really did think was Aizawa’s old buddy for much longer than I’m proud to admit though), who fights back with some pressurized water jets. All Might saves a stupid Instagram lady and Katsuki saves the both of them, and also recovers everyone’s stolen wallets, because he’s a fucking boy scout now that the provisional course is over. Meanwhile Shouto whips out the ol’ hot+cold power combo of sports festival fame and knocks the villain out. Afterwards the two of them are enthusiastically congratulated by a pro hero called Slidin’ Go (who’s secretly evil, as it turns out, because this is a very strange arc) and hair ruffled by All Might and it’s fucking great you guys. We then cut back to the Detnerat guys, who bring in Giran, a.k.a. the League of Villains’ black market broker who just so happens to have balls of fucking steel. Good thing too, because the DetCEO plans to use him to track down and lure out the League so he can take care of them. Lastly, we cut over to said League, whose members are currently in the process of having their asses handed to them by Gigantomachia and are really not looking too hot, oh dear.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’m caught up with the manga now at chapter 225 -- I haven’t read 226 yet -- so any ETAs will reflect that.)

so it’s come to this. the Symbol of Peace, reduced to directing traffic

listen kid, you’ll have time for autographs later all right? for now just DO AS THE MAN SAYS

meanwhile Shouto’s being a badass

Bakugou may be out of his element in the cold (and we’ll see if this poses a problem for him--he’s only got one gauntlet on top of that), but this lil lukewarm lad is fine and dandy

loooooll

you tell ‘em Shouto. that’s some nice property damage there son. I hope Katsuki tries to keep his own quirk contained, the last thing we need is you guys getting billed Mt. Lady style for destroying fucking main street here all of 25 minutes after getting those licenses laminated

(ETA: I guess he didn’t actually do any lasting damage though? hopefully nothing got flood damaged when he melted all of that afterwards.)

the title of the chapter is “go! sliding go!” which sounds like fun. sounds like more icy goodness

(ETA: why did they name this chapter after the weirdly unsettling and secretly evil THE FULLLLLL BULLPENNN hero, though?? my working theory is that it was Horikoshi’s way of ensuring we wouldn’t just immediately forget he existed so that we could be properly surprised when he returned a few chapters later.)

anyway so Aizawa’s cloudy friend is shaking off the ice, and now he’s chewing the boys out for fucking up his big purse-snatching operation

all that for a handful of wallets?? seriously??

LMAO

I don’t know if it’s that I’m becoming more like him, or if he’s just becoming more like me. but either way Katsuki you gotta get out of my head there kiddo, I’m starting to worry here

by the way is it just me or is he actually higher up than he was just a few seconds ago. are you actually climbing this thing. drunk on adrenaline or what

anyway so Kumo, who may or may not actually be him but we’re just assuming for now, is explaining that he controls carbonated water and he lives for thrills. his words. not mine

okay first of all, no you don’t. fucking no one in this series has more resolve than that lil monkey slowly inching his way up towards that traffic light there

and second, you spent a whole goddamn month planning a purse heist. where the fuck did you get these airs you’re putting on dude

wow you guys

I feel like we should be placing bets not on whether Baku and Todo will win, but on how long it’ll actually take them. I’m thinking not very fucking long

(ETA: this whole thing is wrapped up within ten pages. I could have literally have been present on the scene, said to myself “my what a lovely snowy day, I think I’ll go buy myself some hot chocolate,” ducked into the Starbucks on the corner, and it would have all been over by the time I stepped back out. “you missed it!!” shouts the excited ‘it’s All Might’ kid from page one. “there was ice and explosions and this stupid lady almost got All Might crushed with a pole!”)

MY DUDES WHAT IS THIS??

SIX IN ONE GO. THIS HIGH SCHOOLER IS THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO I’LL HAVE YOU SUCKERS KNOW

AHHAHAHAHAHA

I’M LOVING IT. I’M LOVING THIS. FUCK ‘EM UPPPPP KATSUKI

WHERE’S THAT RESOLVE OF YOURS NOWWWWW

holy shit. it occurs to me that this is only the third time in the series we’ve actually seen him fight real villains. and the second time was at Kamino, and he was pretty much just on the defensive there and trying to keep them all at a distance, so it’s debatable whether or not that really counts. so basically this is the first time since USJ that he’s gotten to just let loose against a bunch of mooks. and I’ve only just realized how much I wanted this omg

apparently he wanted it too lol. also I’m surprised and extremely impressed that he can control his trajectory that well with only one arm. gives me hope that Shouto’ll be going airborne like his pop any day now

anyway so Kumo? is fighting back though

watch out Katsuki he’s got seltzer and he’s not afraid to use it

okay but damn though

is this fucking seltzer water slicing through this metal lamp post??

I just took a brief break from reading this chapter to go look up “water saw” videos on YouTube to try and get an idea of what exactly we may be dealing with there. and well, I found this. so uh. depends on what kind of firepower that thing on his arm is packing I guess. but he might be more trouble than I anticipated

meanwhile!

ALL MIGHT LET HER GO IT’S NATURAL SELECTION

FUCK

IF THIS STUPID LADY GETS ALL MIGHT KILLED IN FRONT OF THESE TWO BOYS WHO WERE SO GUNG-HO ABOUT FINALLY GETTING THEIR LICENSES, SHE BETTER PRAY THE GATES OF HELL CAN PROTECT HER BECAUSE I’M GONNA GET ME SOME FUCKING BOLT CUTTERS AND FOLLOW HER DOWN THERE MARK MY WORDS

OH THANK GOD

oh my goddddd

first of all, whew. and second of all I’m so glad Horikoshi let him have that moment, rather than Shouto. just in case there were any lingering haters out there thinking his heart still wasn’t in the right place and that the only reason he was all TEAM RESCUE, BITCHES in the previous arc was because he wanted to win

and I mean, he did, obviously. but IT CAN BE TWO THINGS, and now we have a nice little moment here with him rescuing his dad (whose body moved before he could think, AS USUAL) and this stupid lady who put her Instagram above her own fucking life

meanwhile

okay Shouto you have my permission to kick his ass

yeah go ahead and fuck him up

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

PETITION TO PUT SHOUTO IN “GUESS I’VE GOT NO CHOICE” SITUATIONS MORE OFTEN

wow not!Kumo, he is literally the worst possible opponent you could have had huh. sucks to be you

lol Katsuki’s mad that Shouto got to be a badass

they’re getting along so well now. Shouto completely knows how to handle him, he’s like a Kirishima 2.0. he just completely ignores the fact that Katsuki is shrieking insults, and responds as though the questions were phrased normally

and Katsuki actually answers him despite everything. I know it’s crazy, but this is seriously progress

now Dad is running over to make sure they’re okay

“oh, All Might. didn’t see you there. we were just out here being heroic heroes. [stretches casually; yawns] all in a day’s work”

at least he didn’t reference his kidnapping! Kacchan’s protesting but really that’s the best he could have hoped for

so the dude’s asking if they did all of this and uh, yeah. who do think they are, amateurs? I’ll have you know they have provisional licenses, sir

did this motherfucker just pull 13 fucking wallets out of fucking hammerspace to hand over. Link?? is that you??

holy shit. is that why your pants were always so baggy?? WERE YOU JUST BEING PREPARED THIS WHOLE TIME

so not only did Katsuki not destroy so much as an inch of public property (aside from the pole which was already destroyed), he even had the forethought to rescue everyone’s wallets and hand them over to the authorities like the good law-abiding citizen he is

where the fuck is Gang Orca, I need to send that man a fucking fruit bouquet or something

oh my

new favorite panel alert

so this guy, whose name is apparently Sliding Go, says he’ll take care of the rest. okay. thanks man

meanwhile definitely!not!Kumo!mybad!sometimesI’mwrong’s little jet nozzle gauntlets are... exploding??

Detnerat? possibly??

good eye there Sherlock

so I wonder if they got them from Detnerat or from that black market guy the League’s associated with... Giran? I think is his name??

oh shit!!!

new new favorite panel alert

love how Shouto seems shocked at the unexpected gesture of fatherly affection (which hurts my heart. hey All Might you got room for a third son there), whereas Bakugou is just accepting it and probably even knew it was coming and is just trying to keep his cool and trying to calculate how long he can stand there basking in All Might’s pride before it starts to look like he’s actually enjoying it

sdflkjasldkj

SWEETHEART USE YOUR WORDS

Shoutooooooooo. ;_; that little smile is killing me, I’m melting. once the initial surprise wore off he was so happy. look at him shyly fumbling with his tie oh my baby I love you so much

oh to be a fly on the wall of that taxi cab. watching the two of them sit in the backseat as far away from each other as possible and looking out the window and being so pleased with themselves after all their hard work finally paid off. and meanwhile All Might in the front seat next to the driver, peeking at them in the rearview mirror and smiling softly

also fly!me would definitely try to sneak a peek at Katsuki’s fucking hero license because HORIKOSHI COME THE FUCK ON ALREADY WHY IS IT ALWAYS SECRET AFTER FUCKING SECRET

and I guess that’s that! a very satisfying fight that lasted all of 10 pages but had several cool moves, an opponent with a cool quirk, and several character development moments! that’s how it’s done! god this series has been fucking killing it lately I swear. I hope I’m not jinxing it but this is some good shit. the artwork and pacing are great, I’m liking the new plot so far... just, keep it up, Horikoshi, please

(ETA: for real though he is crushing it)

so now we’re cutting back to the ol’ villain corporate office in Gotham City or wherever

ah, so it was Detnerat!

well I can’t say this is a huge surprise. I imagine the villain market was too tempting to pass up

!!!

I swear to god this had better be more entertaining than the last League of Villains team-up

so now this dude with the shiniest, most luxurious hair I’ve ever seen is explaining that he worked fast because DetCEO told him “do so at once” and his words are the words of Destro

damn so there’s a pretty clear hierarchy here huh

OH SHIT

THAT’S FUCKING GIRAN. THAT’S THE DUDE. WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY DO TO HIM?? FIRST A MURDER IN THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER AND NOW THE LEAGUE OF VILLAINS’ FAVORITE BROKER IS GETTING FUCKING TORTURED BY CORPORATE THUGS, WHAT THE FUCK. ARE WE IN FOR ANOTHER HARDCORE ARC

(ETA: indeed we are, but this one is so much better though.)

careful, he’s sensitive and clearly not afraid to kill a bitch for less than that, Giran

“the old man”?? is he talking about DetCEO’s father? or his? surely he’s not talking about AFO?

so now President Why So Serious is asking him how much he wants

and Giran is all “I happen to be picky about who I do business with, and since you all just kidnapped and beat the shit out of me, I’m inclined to say ‘no’ here”

(ETA: Giran is a stand up guy and it cost him a fucking hand. well that’s the risk you run when you work in the criminal underworld I guess.)

holy shit Giran

RIP Giran 2015-2019

but damn though, I gotta hand it to the guy, he’s got a bigger pair than I ever expected

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

okay so I’m just gonna post the whole page and break it down

GIRAN IS FUCKED. THIS GUY IS A MANIAC AND HE’S LEGIT GONNA TORTURE THE INFO OUT OF HIM HOLY SHIT

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, AGAIN

GIGANTOMACHIA IS FUCKING INSANE

AND HOW DID HE GET SO BIG

AND IS COMPRESS FUCKING DEAD. AND WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BEST VILLAIN GIRL TOGA OMG

SPINNER IF THERE WAS EVER A TIME TO REVEAL YOUR QUIRK AND HAVE IT TURN OUT TO BE REALLY BADASS IT’S NOW BUDDY

DABI AREN’T YOU GLAD YOU WERE OUT PLANNING NOUMU SHIT WITH HAWKS AND NOT DEALING WITH THIS UTTER SHITSHOW

IS IT JUST ME OR DOES TOMURA LOOK A LITTLE BUFFER THAN BEFORE? YOU BEEN LIFTING BRO

HOW AND WHY DID THEY GET TO THESE CLIFFS IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, GIGANTO YOU’D BETTER WATCH IT, BECAUSE TOMURA MORE THAN LIKELY IS TRYING TO THINK OF A WAY TO BEAT YOU WITHOUT KILLING YOU, BUT IF HE DOES DECIDE HE WANTS TO KILL YOU, YOU’LL BE PRETTY HARD-PRESSED TO STOP HIM DUDE

oh my god. this is three awesome chapters in a row now. BnHA is killing it, seriously

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bakugou katsuki #todoroki shouto #all might #redestro #giran #league of villains #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #so guess who just noticed slidin' go's got a big ol' arrow plastered on his crotch #me #you guessed it #why is this man so sinister #him and his lack of friction #I can't believe he hugged my children #tomura you had better dust this cheeky mofo

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hoshyeoms · 7 years ago

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Hey friends!!! So today (04/04) marks 1 whole year since I’ve gotten into K-Pop!! While my blog isn’t the biggest for things like this, I wanted to do one anyways to kinda let the people who have made this last year so unforgettable and so much fun!! Thanks to you guys, I’ve become apart of something I never could have imagined! 💕💕💕💕 (ignore the fact I spelled appreciation wrong lmao)

@afoxthing : hiii!!~~~ I know we literally just started talking, but I already consider you a friend!! You are super cool and sweet, and I’m so excited to hear all about your concert experience with The Rose! 💕💕💕

@alli-ackles-xoxo: ALLY BBY ILYSM, I know I kinda suck at messaging you cause I’m literally always at work :((( but I love when we do get to talk!! I can’t wait til I get to go out to germany and see you one day cause lets be real here, I’m coming to germany when I marry my rich famous boyfriend lmao. I get so excited anytime you post on instagram cause I love seeing all the fun things you’re doing and all the lil adventures you go on all the time! You’re gonna have so much fun in the married life and I can’t wait to see all your cute pictures. I love you Allyyyyy 💕💕💕

@doublebam1a : Ray!! Hi hun!! We also don’t talk much, but being in the GOT7 chat with you is still so much fun!! I was so beyond excited to hear all about your 24k show and your interactions with Sunny! The chat will be on the up again soon, we just all gotta get away from the business of everything! I hope we do get to become closer soon!!! 💕💕💕

@godwangit : Lara!!! I’m not sure if you come on here much anymore, but if by chance you do see this....you were my first kpop friend! While we don’t talk much anymore, I like seeing all your tweets! I’m so proud of you for going through driving school and it’s scariness!! I know you’re doing super well and if you don’t already have your license, you’ll for sure have it soon!! Thank you for helping introduce me to all of this. Without you, I probably would have never gone past ToppDogg, I would have never listened to BTS, or started to explore more and making more friends. If it wasn’t for your kindness to answer all my ridiculously clueless questions and screaming about the beginnings of my collection of stuff! Thank you for everything!💕💕💕

@imjaebumaf : ANNIE, MY ANNIE BANANIE HI SWEETHEART!!! I love you so dang much, and I am SO beyond thankful we became friends. I went from adoring your blog to holding you so close, wow. You are so darn beautiful and sweet and fun and I’ll never forget one of our first conversations literally being you sending me a picture of a snake and it saying “hey bitch” under it while I was bored at work. I laughed so hard, I literally was in tears. The girl I was closing with thought (and probably still does) I was absolutely crazy! You’re always the cutest and I am so thankful I get to talk and be friends with someone like you! I know you’re probably studying hard (way too hard ms. 37 hours awake *cue stern mom look*) but summer will be here soon enough and you can relax!! Don’t stress yourself out and good luck on upcoming exams, I am rooting for you always!!! 💕💕💕💕💕

@lamptastical: I’m not leaving you out of this one, and I’m coming in hot and heavy with a nickname I know you’re gonna hate but I’m gonna secretly call you cause it makes me happy deal with it. You’re my BumbleBre (ayyy it’s cute isn’t it? You know it is, I’m sure you’re smiling looking at it, shaking your head, then telling me it’s dumb, but you secretly love it (; ) my literal guide to life, the only person who didn’t and doesn’t mind that sometimes I’m just a little messy. My head isn’t as correct as I think it is, and you deal with my stubborn ass. You’re like the big sister I needed, the one who talks to me about everything in the world, and helps me when I need it. I try to be there for you and I know I’m really bad at it, but I’m always here, even if I’m being super annoying (which I’m working on). I am so thankful to have become friends with you, on the level of all of our talks, especially the ones screaming about all of our favorite people and the ones with no words, just memes. Thank you for everything, I hope we can hang out one day soon!! I love you B 💕💕💕💕

@park-sungshine: Hi Mandaaaa!! You’re super dang adorable and I love your love for odd animals! You seem so dang cool I’m just kinda bad at starting and holding conversations until I get closer to people, but I know we’ll for sure be talking one day!! 💕💕💕

@pinkhoodiemark : I can’t do something like this without mentioning the one person I literally cannot believe I was blessed enough to meet. Emi, my literal best friend. Last summer, when I was just a weird lil Mark bias floundering in the confusing waters of being a new ahgase. I followed you cause of course I needed Mark blogs in my life, I needed all the Mark blogs. Then we became mutuals and I was literally screaming to my other friends, I literally loved everything about your blog, you seemed so heckin chill and I couldn’t believe THE pinkhoodiemark followed me on tumblr holy cow!!!! But then to find out you were also seeing Day6 in Detroit, no fucking way my man, there just ain’t no way! But is that the best part, heck no it ain’t! You may know me as the stupidly excited person, but walking up to the group of you, Jes, Marah, and a few other people I was literally shaking. Here I am, 20 years old walking up shaking with my dad cause I was too scared to say hi to any of you guys (funny to think about now). Spending all that time in Starbucks freaking out about Got7 together, reading the Japanese on my pocky to me, and screaming about anime with Marah while standing in the rain outside the Music Hall! Ending the show and immediately finding each other to scream about hi touch, and make plans for the next hang out. But finding out you literally live a 20 minute (15 if I drive fast enough) drive from my house was the best part! My dad always told me to stop feeling so sad because the friends I made were never close enough, I would meet people with my same interests who were close enough and want to do the same things as me, and boom there you are! Sure you’re busy cause of school, but we still see each other when we can. I can’t believe I got the coolest and smallest best friend. Someone to cry about got7 with, who I’ve told all of my secrets to, and I still can’t believe we got to walk into each other’s lives. Even when you spent a whole day with me and my family at a trampoline park almost 2 hours from our house because I didn’t want to be third wheeling anyone. I love you so much dude, I suck at telling you in words cause I’ve never had an irl friend that meant so much like you. I can’t wait for our future adventures, and one day visiting you while you’re successful and thriving in Japan! There’s no one else I would want to spend 2 hours driving around Michigan looking for monkey bread at like 9pm with lmao. 💕💕💕💕

@sunkissedjae: Gabby, girl, you are BEAUTIFUL! I love that we have that mutual tagging each other in stuff relationship, a lot of friends I’ve made started that way. I also love that you seem to always get the weird references I make on here, or when I talk about Rich Brian you scream about him with me. You a real pal my dude. 💕💕💕

@thekoreanguys: KIARA BBY GIRL I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, we’ve kinda lost touch because of the hurricane and you moving and then me getting super busy but I think about you all the time! I’m for sure going to work on remembering to text you more often and talk longer than a few short messages. Thanks for being so amazing, also you’re 1/2 the reason I realized Yugyeom is my ult so like because of you and Evie torturing me with his pictures, I became the trash I am today. I love you sweet girl 💕💕💕

@whaaattheflower: Hi Ru!! Girl, first off you are so dang beautiful, I love when you send me snap selfies cause that gives me more reasons to remind you how beautiful you are! I know I’m not often in the net chat, but I do read the messages sometimes when I’ve got a little time to try and catch up and you always make me laugh so hard! You have the best jokes, and memes. You should honestly just be a comedian! Thank you for being a friend (golden girls anyone?) and screaming about tons of groups with me. From my Day6 hi touch, to my 24k fan meet, to the stress of MX tickets. You’re so special 💕💕💕

@yokonami: Rinnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!! Hi ! My absolute favorite JinJin bias, Rin you are so beyond sweet and so dang smart!! I love being able to send you cute lil love messages, and girl when you saw Astro and met Jinwoo I was so dang excited. As I was reading your messages, I literally was jumping up and down!!! I really hope our friendship gets even closer this year, love you lots!!! I also love that you are into pretty much all of the same groups, and that you scream about f(x) so much. I know everyone loves f(x), but you’re the only person I talk to that literally screams about them lmao I love that about you!💕💕💕

#mutual appreciation #i know im not like a big blog or whatever #ill probably do another next year lmao #but i wanted to remind all of you guys how much i love you!!!!#i spent all day typing this cause i forgot to do it after work yesterday #then i ended up napping for a long time today lmao #oops

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lucky-clover-gazette · 7 years ago

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season 4 first watch impressions

under the cut are my thoughts and my new overall series episode ranking (spoilers)

ep1 - uss callister

- by far my favorite of the season

- a perfect blend of comedy and tragedy

- i would have loved this as a full movie

- honestly nanette is amazing, like she owns her smarts and sexuality and never gives up i love her

- male coder: “it won’t work, i’ve already tried”

nanette: “well i haven’t” HELL YEAH

- i honestly loved all the ‘crew’ characters, even the gym rat boss

- i especially enjoyed the speech from the boss to robert, where he’s like ‘i acknowledge that i was an ass, but dude, YOU PUSHED MY SON OUT AN AIRLOCK’

- also the fuckin casual dialogue between the monster and bad guy and the crew

- OHHH BOY AND THE FACT THAT ROBERT’S GONNA ROT TO DEATH IN HIS APARTMENT BECAUSE HE PUT ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ ON HIS APARTMENT DOOR, HELL YEAH

- ‘oh my fuck’

- 10/10, watch it now

ep2 - arkangel

- preface: the kid playing young owen teague and his family were actually really close with my family when he and my little sister were kids. it was goddamn surreal to see that lil guy talking about porn when i remember him being, like, eight. but nice going nick, keep kicking ass lil dude

- okay so this episode was... conflicting

- the opener made sense, but in some ways i thought it was TOO obvious and indicative of the episode’s message and tone. i can’t help but wonder if it would have been better just starting like five minutes in

- her father looked like counselor healy from orange is the new black, so that was distracting

- okay jesus christ lady, i get that losing your kid is scary, but implanting her with ‘optional’ optic spying and censoring software is such a massive violation of her privacy. like, it’s one thing when she’s tiny, but how the hell are you going to feel okay with yourself as a parent when she’s an adolescent?

- the blocking especially pissed me off. that’s so fucking dangerous. either this woman is just very stupid, or very desperate

- at least the narrative established that it kind of was the latter. when her father gets sick, the mother has to care both for both her father and her child. that’s a lot. but still not an excuse for such mental violation of a quickly-growing human being

- young edgelord and sara are fucking adorable

- sara’s self-harm and rage issues are not, however,, and i’m glad that her mother took her head out of her ass and ditched the tablet

- is it just me or is fifteen-year-old sara kind of an idiot? like i get it she’s grunge and artsy, and i loved her giving a treat to the dog, but she seems to be almost hanging out with owen teague because he deals, and not despite it. like i get that i’m supposed to buy that their romance has kind of a subtext of him ‘teaching’ her about things, but like the underage sex and coke are kinda yikes. i feel like he definitely should have had more restraint, and although what the mother does is royally fucked, he and sara are also both to blame

- all right, so the smoothie motif. what a great narrative tool. the miscarriage pill was the most clever part of the episode. sara’s reaction was very well-acted, and the standoff between her and her mother was intense as hell

- i liked that sara’s rage issues remained into adolescence. i was glad that the tablet got wreckt, but i can’t help but wonder if it would have been more effective to have her rage-smash it prior to her mother coming come, leaving the pieces for her to find. the actual beating up of the mother with the tablet seemed to literal, too much sinking in the message. there were moments in crocodile and hang the dj that were the same way.

- the ending, with sara hitchhiking in some stranger’s truck, was very smart. the ambiguity of a young girl, on her own, hopping in some stranger’s vehicle, is powerful without much explanation. any parent would be horrified by this; that’s what i don’t think we actually needed to see the mother screaming sara’s name and bleeding to understand the horror of losing a child to the unknown

- this one definitely gives me the most complicated feelings of the season; on one hand, it had a lot of great devices going for it. on the other hand, it was over-written and at times trying too hard to be ‘black mirror.’ the grey morality and ambiguous ending reminded me of a literary short story, which i love in my TV.

- 7/10, watch it if you liked most black mirror episodes that weren’t san junipero

ep3 - crocodile

- ah yes, the ‘i watch black mirror to be fuckin ashamed of humanity’ episode

- idk man, i liked it. it was bleak, and fucked up, but i’m all about that downward spiral. i liked that the story kind of began in three different places and then tied together. just as i had with ‘hated in the nation,’ i love police procedural stuff

- also damn, it was freaky as hell to see the straight-laced white blonde soccer-mom type being a despicable murdering sociopath!!! like, gotta go kill an entire family of POC, including a goddamn INFANT, and then see my kid’s show, that’s great. i was so happy when she got what she deserved.

- all right, so i had one MAJOR PROBLEM with this episode: why the fuck did they make the son blind? the guinea pig twist was so GOOD, and mia fuckin killed a BABY, they didn’t need to further modify that!!! this is another example of black mirror doing just a tad more than it needs to make the audience feel horrible.

- okay black mirror, we get it, that song is your thing, but can you maybe slide it in as a less glaring easter egg?

- 8/10, but only if you’re into dark shit and bad endings

ep4 - hang the dj

- not nearly gay enough

- seriously, the entire episode i was unable to focus on the main characters because i kept looking around this Tinder-esque 20′s dating paradise and saw ZERO GAY OR LESBIAN COUPLES. i’m so surprised by this, especially after ‘san junipero.’ at first i was like, maybe this is like society’s way of encouraging procreation because of population decline, but that wasn’t the twist at all. no reason for nearly everyone to be hetero

- THAT BEING SAID, i see you. bi amy. even before the girl partner, i was aware that she used ‘they/them’ pronouns when referring to hypothetical partners. i just wish we could have seen more gay couples in the background (for example, at the choosing ceremony thing, it coulda been two dudes of something)

- uh okay, so everyone loved this episode, and it was okay. some of the banter and jokes were funny and relatable, but honestly, this wasn’t *that* good. the plot wasn’t super original (reminded me a lot of ep1 of hulu’s ‘dimension 404′) and the execution was kind of suuuuuuper basic. like, black suited Enforcers with tasers? a massive matrix wall? the whole thing seemed so predictable and just... basic as hell.

- but shit man, amy was cool. loved that character in a vacuum.

- honestly if someone could explain the reasons for loving this episode, i’d like to hear them. because i just don’t get it, man. maybe it’s because i’m gay, or young, or single, or unexperienced... but i just wasn’t very impressed

- 6/10, not even fuckin close to ‘san junipero’ lmao

ep5 - metalhead

- black and white seemed sort of pretentious, not gonna lie. i think i would have preferred the dirty palette of ‘white bear’ post-apocalypse

- i am all for these female protagonists this season. hell yeah

- soo those corpses in the bed were heavy, but i actually kind of wish we got to see more of that? like, the remains of humanity after the dogs attacked? also, more small explanations for the dogs’ attack would have been interesting

- loved the chase and fight scenes. i can see how they’d be boring, but the moments of conflict between man v. machine were fucking awesome

- K N I F E D O G

- anyone else get serious farenheit 451 vibes?

- the teddy bear thing was dumb. i don’t think we needed to see what was inside the warehouse. yet another time black mirror threw in just a little more than we needed

- okay so belle keeps alluding to the fact that she has safe family members out there somewhere, so am i to believe that there is some place where humans are safe from dogs? if so, why the actual fuck did she leave? i can’t believe it was just because of fuckin teddy bears

- alllllll the david lynch vibes

- 7/10, but you gotta actually pay attention to the visual details to get the best parts

ep6 - black museum

- BOOOOYYYYYYY! this entire episode i waited for the fuckin shoe to drop and then SHE! DID! THAT!

- the amount of callbacks to previous episodes was,, nice,, but also it was kind of annoying??? and unnecessary?

- the museum owner was reaaaaaalllly annoying, which is think was intentional. what a fuckin sleaze. in comparison, i thought that jon hamm in ‘white christmas’ was still a somewhat charismatic narrator, but this dude was just yikes

- so, the first story was... kind of a lazy reach? idk, it just felt kinda like a parody of black mirror itself. i get the entire ‘mad science’ vibe they were trying to evoke, but as opposed to the next story, this one had very little to say about human nature. black mirror works its best when it tells stories that use technology as a way to analyze humanity; this one really didn’t (we all already know we’ve got weird kinks)

- the second story was better, but, like, SUPER heartbreaking. poor carrie. i don’t think her husband should have done The Thing at all, honestly, I don’t believe that he couldn’t have seen what happened next coming. it’s like the arkangel mom again; either these characters are just SUPER present-oriented, or just fuckin dumb

- the most tragic moment in this season was ‘monkey needs a hug.’ i felt nauseous

- okay, now for THE TWIST! the accent drop was a great touch, and i loved that she was poisoning him the entire time. also fuck white men and supremacists, and fuck the museum dude for enabling them.

- the ending was great. i liked that her mom was chillin with her. the building blowing up was very tarantino. loved her a lot

- 8.5/10, boring in the beginning but the end is worth it

and now..

BLACK MIRROR EPISODES RANKED (AS OF SEASON 4)

1. U.S.S. Callister

2. Nosedive

3. Hated in the Nation

4. San Junipero

5. Fifteen Million Merits

6. Be Right Back

7. White Bear

8. White Christmas

9. Black Museum

10. Crocodile

11. Arkangel

12. Metalhead

13. Hang the DJ

14. Playtest

15. The Entire History of You

16. Men Against Fire

17. Shut Up and Dance

18. The National Anthem

19. The Waldo Moment

#black mirror #black mirror s4 #sam reviews #uss callister #arkangel #crocodile #hang the dj #metalhead #black museum #bm

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winchester-with-wings · 8 years ago

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Growing Pains, Part 1 / (Second Chances Series)

Bruce Wayne x child!reader fic!

AUTHOR: @faithtrustandpixiedust95

Summary: Growing up as Y/N Wayne, you find a new way to train and even make a friend.

Word Count: 4300

A/N: reader is about 12ish. My sister is writing her fics all in the same universe but each one has a different title and are broken into parts.

*Disclaimer* I did not write this. My sister, Sam, did and I am posting this with her permission.

Sequel to

“Shattered Beginnings” 1 / 2

“Adjusting” 1 / 2

Sam’s Mobile Masterlist

Life as Y/N Wayne had been moving on. You were Bruce’s baby girl and he truly loved you as much as you loved him, which was a lot.

You two would spend most of your time together whenever Bruce wasn’t working and you weren’t at school. You and Bruce would even train together and spar for fun.

Not much changed once you found out your dad’s “super-secret”, you would help out in the Batcave every so often and help your dad whenever he needed it. The only thing you weren’t allowed to do was to go out in the field with him and stay up super late.

Honestly, you were okay with this decision. As good of a nerf “sharp-shooter” you were, you were in no way ready to start battling it out with the bad guys.

You had just started training in mixed martial arts and you were loving it. The combination of being able to escape holds and dish out your own blows was helping you get through your own issues. It was a good release and you felt more confident in being able to somewhat protect yourself.

You were learning a lot from Bruce, he was teaching you defensive techniques as well as offensive. When you were older, he taught you how to disarm people with weapons, how to handle loaded weapons safely and how to shoot them as well. You were a natural shot, your nerf skills were finally paying off as a real life skill!

He taught you how to blend into your surroundings and these training sessions usually ended in hour long hide-and-seek battles, once you got the hang of it, you ended up winning most of the games.

You had excelled in your stealth training exercises, often using them on Bruce and Alfred when they least expected it. At one point you had snuck up on Alfred while he was making cookies. Right as he poured in the flour to the batter, you scared him, causing him to spill the flour all over himself, you, and the kitchen. He was not happy about it, but you thought it was funny. You were sure to have Bruce snap a picture of it to put in the memory book.

You loved playing with all the different gadgets that Batman got to use, especially the grappling gun. You were a regular lil’ monkey, swinging back and forth, up and down. It was your favorite mode of transportation around the manor between the first and second floor, you were too good for stairs, this had become the ongoing joke between the three of you.

There had been a certain training exercise using the smoke bombs that didn’t end particularly well. But that was because you weren’t training, you were more playing around, unsupervised, and you had set off most of the smoke alarms much to the bemusement of Alfred and Bruce.

You also learned to hone in on your observation and detective skills. Bruce would bring back pictures and info he had found at the crime scenes he would investigate. Once he loaded them all into the computer, you looked at them together creating a case file of clues and evidence to send over to Gordon for the police to use.

You were very detail oriented with these case files. There were a few instances where you had found a small piece of evidence Bruce hadn't come across and it helped to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

Together, you and Bruce, made a good detective team. Having the interpretation of a well-seasoned vigilante and the new perspective of a creative child, gave you the perfect resources to figure out the cases and turn in the bad guys.

Of course Bruce always kept you at arm's length during the more brutal cases, and you always only helped from the safety of the cave. You weren't old enough to go out and be by Batman’s side in the field.

In the next few years, you definitely progressed in your MMA training becoming particularly good at nerve-striking and takedowns. You loved the challenge of taking down bigger opponents, aka your dad, by using the person's weight against them. Being small and athletic had it's advantages for climbing and moving quickly.

You were a competitive little booger! You would train at the cave with your dad everyday after school, you had a knack for improvising and tweaking your learned skills into something more useful for someone your size.

The nice thing about it though, was that your dad never held back during training. He knew what you could and couldn't handle and you would surprise him every now and then by going beyond his expectations.

Even with all the intense training you did, you still got to be a kid. You socialized and goofed around at school, sometimes a little too much. You were a troublemaker at times, but it was all out of good fun.

Your teachers loved having you in their classes. You were smart, quick witted, and kind to the other students. You often volunteered to help other kids out when they were struggling to grasp a concept in class and you did your best to include everyone in what you did so no one felt left out.

There were a few occasions where Bruce would have to leave work in the middle of the day to come down to your school because you had gotten into a fight, but you only fought with the bullies when you were trying to defend the kid being picked on. You didn’t like seeing other kids getting bullied, so you would put the tormentor in their place even if it meant you got in trouble, it was worth it. You took after your adoptive father in that way; you wanted to save and protect people if you had the ability to.

Being a Wayne at Gotham Academy had its ups and downs. One of the downsides to it was that whenever you misbehaved, like getting into fights, it would end up as an article in the news. You seemed to be following in your dad’s footsteps with making headlines over pointless affairs, it was normal for kids to act like that, but because you were a Wayne, everything was looked at under a microscope.

But one of the upsides to having your name, meant you were never alone at school. Kids were always trying to be your friend and you welcomed the interactions respectfully, but you knew when it wasn't sincere. You had yet to make a strong friend at school that you could rely on.

It was a hard search, because no matter who you chose, there would always be secrets that had to be kept on your side of the friendship. Secrets weren't a good foundation for friendship.

At age 12, you were enjoying school and your training. It was exhausting sometimes and you continuously felt the pressure of lacking a true friend.

Bruce had come up with the idea of having you compete in junior MMA fights to explain your skill behind fighting and to maybe make some friends. It was a good story to feed the media to keep them from figuring out your family secret.

You became undefeated in your MMA meets, one after the other. You trained hard and it showed.

The media loved showing up to your meets to cover your fights. It was a juicy topic in the news.

Some outlets supported your participation, approving of Bruce's decision to let you compete. It was seen as a fatherly thing to do, to let your kid be a part of a sport.

Other outlets saw it negatively, thinking it was inappropriate for the heiress of Wayne Enterprises to fight in such a barbaric sport.

The only thing the two sides agreed on, was the fact that it was a good idea for you to learn self-defense.

If it had been up to the schools and parents of Gotham’s youth, self-defense classes would have been a mandatory skill to learn in school. But because of a crooked politician on the Gotham Board of Education, it was never put into circulation in the school’s curriculums.

So training in private and competing in meets became the name of the game.

You loved it. It was as social as it was competitive and you enjoyed your fights, with your dad coaching you and cheering you on at every one.

It was at the State Finals that you had met your match in opponents.

You had progressed to the finals with ease and each fight had been a good challenge, but never hard enough. You were looking for some serious skill to compete against and you found it in the title fight of the finals.

Of course the media outlets were present at the finals, you had gotten several people interested in your standings of the sport and since you were “The Wayne Princess” the news felt obligated to cover your events.

You took advantage of the spotlight, making sure that other kids at the event were getting just as much attention, if not more than you were. You would grab reporters and tell them to talk to this kid or that kid.

The meet went like all your others had gone. You would sit and watch the other kids compete, enjoying yourself before it came time for your fight.

This particular fight was going to be a bit different than previous ones.

You had been competing at a skill level that didn't match the girls division of your age, so to keep things fair, you competed against the boys.

Your competitors weren't happy about fighting a girl, but it was the only compromise that satisfied the judges without putting you in over your head.

Everyone was apprehensive of what was going to happen. When you entered the ring with the other kid, you were focused on getting into the right head space. You channelled a very specific anger that allowed you to get your adrenaline pumping. You heard the official call to you to clear the fight and you walked to the middle of the ring to meet the young man you were fighting.

He was the same age as you, he had short red hair and green eyes with small freckles pebbling his face. He had blocky shoulders, was slightly taller than you and had a strong build for someone your age, but you matched his athleticism according to the judges, based off your previous fights.

He looked pissed off and glared at you like he was ready to knock you out with one punch. He'd fought hard to get here and he wasn't going to let some girl take that away from him.

You felt your adrenaline spike and your heart starting to race, knowing that this was going to be your most challenging fight to date.

The official went over the rules he wanted you both to abide by. He asked you if you understood and you nodded with your headgear and mouthpiece in, he did the same for the boy and he nodded as well.

“Touch gloves and return to your corners. Let’s have a good clean fight!” the official shouted over all the parents and kids cheering.

You tapped your red gloves to the boy’s blue gloves and looked him in the eyes. You were ready to go just as much as he was. The tension between the two of you was readily apparent to the crowds watching from outside the cage.

You returned to your corner and when the bell rang, you met each other in the middle of the ring and started to fight.

You were making careful calculated dodges of each punch the boy sent; he had gotten a few jabs across due to the reach of his arms. You made sure to keep a bit more space between the two of you so as to better dodge his far reaching punches. You kept light on your feet, constantly moving, making him chase you.

He had the advantage on reach, but he wasn't as quick on his feet as you. You made note of this and tried to tire him out as much as you could.

You got a few strong kicks into his body, but he retaliated with a combo you were just barely able to block.

At one point in the first round of the fight, he pushed you up against the gate and threw a few punches. You managed to block them and then pushed him off of you, getting out of the corner. You were about to advance and start your jabs when the bell rang before you got to him.

You both went to your respective corners and your coaches and parents were talking to you, feeding you confidence.

“Nice job, baby girl, tiring him out! That’s the way to do it! Make this fight be on your terms,” you heard your dad cheering behind you from the gate.

You nodded at him and looked at your coach.

“Good job Y/N, that was a good first round. I noticed he doesn’t have super sharp footwork, I think if you can get him to the ground to grapple a little, you might be able to get him into a good hold. Avoid those long arms of his, he's got a lot of strength behind those punches. Keep tiring him out and then when you’re ready, go for the takedown. Just remember to play clean,” he emphasized that last sentence because he knew you liked using your tweaked techniques to grapple with other students during training before the meets, but there were rules to follow and judges were watching.

You nodded at your coach and took a drink of water and then the official was calling you both back up to fight.

The bell rang and you advanced toward the young man throwing a right hook to his headgear. He wasn’t able to block it well because he had timed it wrong. You took his moment of confusion to send a combination of punches to his body.

He was thrown off by the sudden change in your fighting getting more aggressive. You could see him making mental notes during the fight, adapting to your moves.

He dodged another punch and returned one to you which you were able to block, but the power in the punch still definitely hurt. While you were recovering from the blow, he got a strong kick to your side that knocked the wind out of you. He made his way to advance again, but you backed up out of his reach so you could catch your breath. You could feel your side already starting to bruise and stiffen.

You were bouncing around on your feet, getting a bit winded, but you saw the same look on his face. You saw a red mark forming on his face from your previous punch and he was breathing hard trying to keep up with you.

You decided to try going for a takedown, getting bored with the footwork.

You closed the space between you, keeping your arms up and blocking his advances. When you got close enough, you put your arms around him.

He was trying to break the hold and was able to push you away, but this made it so you were able to get into the right position to put your small body into his chest in a particular hold that sent him slamming to the ground over your shoulder.

You flipped him and were suddenly straddling him, sending punches left and right. He had his arms up, blocking his face when he tried to buck you off and pin you to the ground. You adjusted to his movements and the next thing you know, you had his arm in your grasp.

His arm was pinned between your legs and you were pulling it back in the direction taught to you for an arm-bar hold. This was painful for the boy, he was trying to get out of the hold groaning and wincing in pain.

The official was ready to break the hold, per the rules for your age group, when you felt the two taps on your leg and you let go.

He had tapped out. The official came up to the two of you on the mat and assessed the boy to make sure he wasn't injured.

The crowd of people watching were cheering at the sudden end to the fight.

You stood up and stretched out your hand to him to help him up. He was reluctant to take it at first, but when he looked at his coach, he knew he had to in order to be a good sport.

You helped him up and then handed him an ice-pack that your coach had tossed to you, giving you a big thumbs up. You smiled at the boy and said in an encouraging and cheery tone, “Nice job, that was a fun fight, hardest challenge I've had. You did great!”

The boy just glared at you and then his face softened, “Thanks. You did a good job too. Congratulations on your win...maybe we can have a rematch in the future,” the boy teased with a now friendly smile on his face.

You shook hands with the boy and the official came up to you two, raising your left arm in the air to signify you had won by tap-out. The judges brought out a big shiny belt and put it over your shoulder. You held it up high and smiled at your win.

You looked around the ring and noticed everyone was cheering, but no one was louder than your dad. He had both hands up in the air in victory and he was cheering your name like a normal competitive dad would. You laughed at this and walked towards him when the official let you and your opponent go.

Bruce picked you up in a big bear hug and twirled you around, he was smiling enough for the both of you. You just laughed and hugged him back.

When he set you down, you were bombarded with cameras and questions from the reporters.

You stood tall with your victory belt still draped over your shoulder. You looked back behind you and got the attention of the boy you had fought, you motioned for him to come over to you and the cameras. He walked over, seeming a bit uneasy and stood next to you.

You smiled at him in a way that told him to follow your lead and you turned back to the camera to answer the questions of the press with your opponent next to you. You made sure any questions they asked the boy were respectful and you defended him against any kind of humiliation.

“What’s your name?” one reporter started off the interview of you and your opponent.

“My name is Roy,” he said, still a bit timid at the attention.

It was nice that Roy didn't live very far away. He was in Star City, another dangerous mecca that seemed to be run more by the mob than by delusional villains.

Each town seemed to have their own issues, but they also had their own heroes. For Gotham it was crazy villains and Batman; for Star City is was the mob and the Green Arrow; for Central City it was meta-humans and the Flash; and for Metropolis it was aliens and Superman.

Your detective skills got the better of you and you had done your research on each city’s series of crimes and the hero who cleaned up the mess.

After the state finals, you and Roy had become good friends. He had been a little bitter at first at the fact that a girl beat him, but he eventually lightened up.

You two would often meet up and spar at the gym, coaching each other and teaching each other new moves. You were happy to find out that Roy had moved schools from Star City and started going to Gotham Academy. He was in most of your classes. You two had become thick as thieves. He was over at your house after school and training almost everyday and what was weird was that Bruce didn’t seem to oppose having someone over at the manor all the time.

If anything, Bruce seemed to approve of the friendship and welcomed Roy and his family over whenever they wanted.

Roy was being raised by his uncle, Oliver Queen. A tall man with short blonde hair and a golden goatee. Oliver had soft blue eyes that he seemed to hide behind. He never talked more than was necessary, but he loved lecturing. Roy always came to the house rolling his eyes from the “valuable lesson” Ollie had just rambled on about for the drive over to the manor.

You didn’t really know who he was, but Bruce did. Apparently Oliver was another playboy-turned-dad when his nephew had gotten into some trouble and his parent’s solution was sending him to stay with Ollie. Roy didn’t seem to mind though, he liked being with his Uncle Ollie, it seemed to be a good fit for the both of them, they balanced each other.

Ollie was over at your house just as much as Roy was and he and Bruce got along really well. A little too well if your observation skills served you right.

One night after Roy and Ollie had gone home, you asked your dad about it.

“Did you already know Ollie before you met him at the MMA meet, Dad?”

“Yes, I have worked with him a few times. He owns Queen Consolidated. Our companies are working together on a major project right now, so he moved to Gotham with Roy to make the commute easier,” was your father’s simple response. It didn’t sit well enough with you though.

“Okay, but you seem to like, really really, know him...how?” you pressured your dad, who was now smiling seeing that you had figured out yet another secret.

“He’s the Green Arrow, Y/N.”

“WHAT?!” was all you could squeal out in your signature squeak. “I knew there was something more between you two!”

“We’ve started working together on some cases. He’s been training Roy too. That’s why we were comfortable with you two being friends,” your dad explained it as if it was no big deal.

“So...does Roy know who you are?”

“Ollie is probably having a similar conversation to our’s with Roy right now on their way home,” he assured you.

“Okay, cool. Then I don’t have to hide anything from him anymore and wait for him to tell me about it. That takes a weight off my shoulders!” you sighed and laughed, still a bit dumbfounded at the news.

When you and Roy saw each other at school the next day, you both were a bit unsure of what to say.

You broke the silence.

“So does this mean we’re like ‘cousins’ or something? And like the cousins where you just say you’re family ‘cause of how close you are, even if you’re not related by blood.”

Roy just started laughing at your rambling, “No, I don’t think we’re ‘cousins’, I think it just means that we get to be even closer friends than we initially thought.”

You smiled at the statement and hugged your friend, which caught him off guard, causing him to blush. When you saw his red cheeks, you chuckled and punched him in the shoulder in a friendly manner, causing him to laugh and relax.

“This is gonna be great,” you said with a dopey smile on your face.

“Oh, no. You’re not about to ‘fangirl’ on me are you?” he teased.

“So what if I was?” you defended, “Our families rock, dude. How can you not be freaking out that my dad is you-know-who and your uncle is who he is? It’s like the beginning of the greatest superhero team-up ever!” you shouted, putting your hands in the air out of excitement.

“You’re such a dork, Y/N,” he taunted. You laughed and punched him lightly in the shoulder again.

“Whatever, we gotta go to class or we’re gonna be late for math. Last thing I need is the media finding out that the ‘Wayne Princess’ is tardy to class every now and then,” you mocked, saying the nickname like it left a bad taste in your mouth. Of all the name’s they called you by, you hated that one the most.

After school and training that day, you came home to find Bruce had come home early from work.

“Hey, Dad! You’re home early. What’s the occasion?” you inquired.

“I’ve got a surprise for you,” he started, “You’ve been training really hard and doing well in school that I thought you deserved to do something fun.” He pulled out two tickets from behind his back and handed them to you.

They were tickets to a special circus show that was in town for the week. It was a highly coveted performance, not your typical circus. You looked at them and beamed with excitement.

“Really?! I saw ads for this show all over town. They even advertised it at the school. I hear there’s this really cool trapeze performance that is just gut-wrenching! When are we going?”

“Friday night after school. We’ll do a nice dinner beforehand and then go see it, how does that sound?” he suggested.

“Great! I can’t wait. Thanks, dad!” You hugged him and then took a picture of the tickets with your phone to send to Roy and brag.

Part Two coming soon...

tagging: @readerlucy @alohalisha @fantastic-fantasy-fanfics @sleepingalong @ahsokaslament @annabananna394 @kiri-hakumei @chrisevansisdaddy04 @emily-83113 @heyitssilverwolf @evyiione @abbytheninja

#batman #batfam #sam's fanfics #Sam's fics #Bruce Wayne #Bruce Wayne x Reader #bruce wayne imagine #bruce wayne fanfiction #bruce wayne x oc #batfam imagine #Batfam x Reader #young justice #dc comics #Justice League #batdad #roy harper #mma

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purpleparrot · 8 years ago

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ok i’m gonna do a post on the bachelorette bios under a read more bc its long as h*ck

Adam, 27, real estate agent. Gains points for listing his most embarrassing moment as telling his mom he was going on the bachelorette (submit an application for any reality show and you have answer to that question for the rest of you life) and immediately loses them for saying his favorite actor is “jennifer lawrence because she’s every girl’s goal” (three years ago this would have been true but not now my guy) and saying a threesome is the most romantic gift he’s ever received.

Alex, 28, information systems supervisor. Says the most outrageous thing he’s ever done is eat a live salamander (um?) and lists the rock as his favorite artist (um????). Also says the most romantic present he’s ever given is a car which was probably very awkward when the relationship ended.

Anthony, 26, education software manager. Describes emotional intelligence as one of his best attributes so if things don’t work out with Rachel he’d be a great match for Taylor from Nick’s season. Also says that he has “virtually no limits in the bedroom once the connection is there” and honestly its just weird that they asked some of them that question (like I’d answer that question for the entire internet to read)

Blake E., 31, “Aspiring Drummer” says that the most outrageous thing hes ever done is get engaged to a “crazy girl” then calls himself a “classic gentleman” two questions later. Also wants to watch the new 50 Shades movie because he loves “taboo sexy stuff”. Was engaged for 48 hours which is probably about 24 hours more than he’ll last on the bachelorette. Hates when his date talks about her cats, so Taylor Swift is basically his worst nightmare. Also doesn’t think parking ticket people have souls, which is honestly the most redeeming answer of the bunch.

Blake K, 29, U.S, Marine Veteran. Would want to be the Rock for a day because “he’s the only person who could look cool wearing a fanny pack”. Says that roses are his favorite flower, which I’m 99% sure is a prerequisite to getting on the show. Says he won’t wrestle a crocodile or eat monkey brains for love, and mostly seems too normal for this show.

Brady, 29, Male Model. Says that tackling snowmen is something he does for fun in his hometown (um? fingers crossed he makes it to hometowns so we can see how exactly that works) and says Lululemon sweatpants are the most romantic gifts he’s ever received, which is slightly (okay a lot) more normal than threesome. Says the the Situation from Jersey Shore is the person he dislikes the most in the world, making me think about that show for the first time in at least three years. (Also, does he remined me a little bit of Robby from Jojo’s season appearance-wise?)

Bryce, 37, Chiropractor. Kind of looks like Chase from Jojo’s season (to me at least). Lists like seven things when asked for his three best attributes, so apparently has some trouble with numbers. Also says the Bachelor/Bachelorette is one of his favorite TV shows because he’s “fascinated by the interaction socially between a man and a woman” (please no one watches this show for the love story, you watch for the drama and you know it) has also had balcony sex? (idk what to do with that information)

Bryce, 30, firefighter. All of his answers are oddly poetic? Describes himself as a “laid back shot of gasoline when the fire starts to die”. Looking for someone with “eyes you could drown in and a smile that insults the sun”. Says he’s “a fresh drink of water with a jolt of lightning”. I’d put money on him reading Rachel some 9th grade English poem the first night. Describes his dream job as a professional Instagrammer which he’s definitely in the right place for with all the Fittea and teeth whitening stuff everyone who goes on this show seems to sell.

Dean, 26, startup recruiter. Has a lip tattoo? (It says righteous, I know you were dying to know. Thinks marriage is an “institutionalized sham derived from religious beliefs” so he’ll fit in perfectly on a show where the end goal is getting engaged!

DeMario, 30, executive recruiter. Scores points for referencing Britney Spears not once but twice, saying he loves attention but not like 2007 Britney, like when she and Justin Timberlake wore those denim outfits. Wants to have a pet lion and name it “Denzel the lion”, Doesn’t have any phobias, which I’m sure made the produces frown and cross his name off potential candidates for those dates they always have where they skydive or something and they’re both really freaked out and have to comfort each other. Earns more points by saying that the most romantic gift he’s ever given is tickets to a Beyonce and Jay-Z concert.

Diggy, 31, senior inventory analyst. Spends Saturday nights trying to recover from day drinking (he and Corinne would get along great if Rachel doesn’t pick him!) Once pretended to be asleep so he didn’t have to help a girl find her brother after a one night stand.

Eric, 29, personal trainer. Rachel seems like she was digging him on the ATFR when she men some of her guys. If he could be anyone for a day, he’d be Tony Robbins, which is a name I had to Google and according to Wikipedia he is a “MLM advocate, businessman, and author”. Says green juice is his favorite drink, so I’m sure he’ll be fine in the bachelor house where it seems like all they have to drink is champagne. Not to go all avril-lavigne-is-dead-and-was-replaced-by-a-clone conspiracy theorist but if he could go anywhere in the U.S. it would be New Orleans, which is where Rachel had her one-on-one with Nick.

Fred, 27, Executive Assistant. Admits to the entire Internet that he sometimes gets aroused at work. This isn’t in his bio but in the preview for the season it says that he and Rachel went to elementary school together and he has apparently had a “lifelong fascination” with her ever since which is a lil weird to me. Like I doubt I could pick someone I went to elementary school with out of a lineup much less recognize them on TV nearly 20 years later.

Grant, 29, emergency medicine physician (!). Would like to be President of the United States for a day, which would honestly probably be better than Donald Trump (I mean, they have about the same amount of experience). Lists Playboy as his favorite magazine with a ;) face. Makes a lame “A see food diet. I see food I eat it” when asked about eating habits, so I’m expecting him to open with an equally lame joke when he meets Rachel.

Iggy, 30, Consulting Firm CEO. Idk if ABC made a typo or what, but if not he lists his best and worst attributes as the same traits (Truly a double edged sword). If stranded on a dessert island he would want it to be a banana float (haha) (Also thats a really stupid question anyway-ABC if you need someone else to write these I’m available)

Jack Stone, 32, Attorney (!). First, why is his whole name on the website? Usually its just their last initial, and that’s only if there’s two people with the same name. Which isn’t the case here so @ ABC wyd. Is an attorney like Rachel, and has been the only one so far smart enough to plead the fifth on the bedroom question. Two of his worst attributes are “hard on myself, anxious” which is very #relatable. Says tulips are his favorite flower because they’re like roses without thorns.

Jamey, 32, Sales Account Executive. Answers the question “where do you see yourself in five years” with “I am trying not to make plans right now” which is also very #relatable. I should bust that one out at my next job interview. Says his ideal mate looks like a model (we all wish) and responds “I do not have any female friends” to “describe your best friend of the opposite sex and why she/she deserves that title”.

Jedidiah, 35, ER Physician (!). Previously owned dogs that were over 1/2 wolf, which is slightly terrifying. Likes wild flowers that grow above high altitudes. Has had sex on a glacier which just sounds like a bad idea, frostbite and all that. Likes nice pens (don’t we all), clashing slightly with his outdoorsy image.

Jonathan, 31, “Tickle Monster”. Anyone identifying themselves as a tickle monster would be cut immediately if I were Rachel. They wouldn’t even make it inside the mansion. I hate being tickled. Formerly sported a mullet. Says his favorite flower right now is a red rose (*rolls eyes*). Previously married, which the producers are probably going to bring up at every given opportunity. Lists Britney Spears as one of his favorite music artists, which still doesn’t even begin to make up for the tickling thing.

Josiah, 28, Prosecuting Attorney (!). Has had sex in his office, so hopefully he didn’t tell his employer he was going on the show, and if he did, hopefully they don’t find this. Was once catfished, so perhaps he’s on the wrong show anyway. Perhaps Nev and Max can participate in a group date giving tips on how not to get catfished.

Kenny, 35, professional wrestler. Spends his Saturday nights either “wrestling in his underwear in front of thousands of people or with his daughter”. Has a daughter, which the producers will also probably bring up at every given opportunity because exploiting children is always fun! Says he was “quick draw Mcgraw” when he first started dating his ex. Has had sex with a wife while her husband watched, which sounds like more Unreal than Bachelorette territory tbh.

Kyle, 26, marketing consultant. Generally doesn’t trust people and dislikes corrupt authority, and respects Ed Snowden. Probably has a Bernie 2016 sticker on his car. doesn’t know what gluten is but eats gluten free when he can. Describes his ideal mate as 7+ and says BDSM was weird because he doesn’t like hurting people.

Lee, 30, Singer/Songwriter. Would want to learn to make booze if stranded on a deserted island. Considers himself a romantic. Also seems too normal for this show (aside from the career) and will probably be gone the first night.

Lucas, 30, “Whaboom” I googled it and couldn’t find an answer as to what “Whaboom” even means so we’re off to a great start. When asked who he would have lunch with out of everyone in the world, replies “ Dead: Bruce Jenner, Alive: Caitlyn Jenner” *cringes* would want the cast of the View with him on a deserted island which is pretty smart actually because they’d probably wind up killing each other and he could establish himself as the apex predator. Enjoys a “good old bump and grind” when it comes to dancing. Lists going to funeral as one of his least favorite date activities, which makes me question his dating history history. I feel like he’ll be the villain.

Matt, 32, Construction Sales Rep. Describes lingerie as the most romantic gift he’s ever given saying “I knew I was in love once I found myself shopping at Victoria Secret” #justlikethenotebook. Describes a tinder date as his worst dating memory. Has had sex on a cruise ship balcony. Despite that is probably still too normal for the show and will probably be eliminated quickly.

Michael, 26, Former professional basketball player, which is less impressive when you keep reading and find out it was in Bulgaria. Would want to have lunch with Obama. One of his worst date fears is one of his friends hooking up with his date in the past which should make fantasy suites fun should he make it that far. Also like the fifth guy to name Denzel Washington as his favorite actor.

Milton, 31, Hotel recreation supervisor. Has a lip tattoo. Is oddly upfront about not being on the show for the “right reasons”. He says he wants to be discovered and break into acting or writing. (At least try to lie and say you’re here for love my guy). Describes himself as only “kinda” romantic because he thinks it can show you’re weak.

Mohit, 26, Product manager. Says he is going to dress up as gluten for Halloween. Good luck with that. Likes country music. Has used Tabasco sauce in the bedroom which just sounds like a bad idea (honestly what do yall get up to where you need condiments). Is like the third person to say he admires Elon Musk.

Peter, 31, business owner. Once thought he got abducted after a one night stand. Likes modern family. Seems normal. Also cute. I’ve been trying to dodge spoilers but a few have slipped through the cracks and I must say...

Rob, 30, law student. Would want to have lunch with Buddha. Would want to be able to control time. Also seems normal. Will probably be eliminated quickly.

Will, 28, Sales Manager. Considers himself a romantic. Describes every tinder date he’s ever been on as his worst dating experience. Hates being a second choice, so hopefully he doesn’t wind up like Nick as runner up twice.

So overall it seems like there’s a lot more diversity this season, which is great to see! its also cool that that most of the men are closer to Rachel’s age compared to last season when some of the girls were literally 10 years younger than nick. And since i haven’t read spoilers, i guess i’ll pick a few faves based on bios alone: Peter, Eric, DeMario, Jack stone thats probably way off im bad at stuff like that

See yall the 22nd!

#this dumb post took me forever #why'd i do this instead of ya know smth productive #the bachelorette

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bobbystompy · 8 years ago

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My Top 132 Songs Of 2016

Previously: 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011

Haven’t started writing this yet, but after peaking at 73 songs in 2013, then dipping to 67 and 71 the last two years, it is unbelievable we hit 132 (blame Spotify’s easy ability to save music and create playlists).

I debated skipping around, but nahhh, let’s get it.

As always, the criteria/info:

This is a list of songs I personally like, not ones I’m saying are the “best” from the year; more subjective than objective

No artist is featured more than once

If it comes down to choosing between two songs for an artist, I try to give more weight to a single or featured track; it’s not the ultimate factor, but it typically makes sharing the music easier

Speaking of... each song on the list is linked in the title if you wanna check out some for yourself

BOBBY VS. THE SONGS, FID

132) Kendrick Lamar - “untitled 07 | levitate”

Yeah, not gonna do the thing everyone else is doing where we pretend Kendrick is making amazing music with 2016′s throwaway release. I had to trudge through so much weird-and-not-fun stuff on “Butterfly” last year; it’s time to be done with it. Kendrick is obviously a top flight MC and could end up as an all-time great, but, like, come on -- this is from an EP of b-sides, it’s (probably) the best song... and it’s still not that memorable. How this record is ended up on so many year end best of lists mystified me.

131) Young Thug - “Drippin'”

Thugger spazzin’ around.

130) 2 Chainz f/ Lil Wayne - “Gotta Lotta”

Eh, this song’s aight; beat good, kinda sticks with you sometimes. Funny it should be listed as “2 Chainz & Lil Wayne” -- peep the very creative album art -- yet ended up as a 2 Chainz solo feature (on technicality alone) due to Weezy’s ongoing label issues. These two play off each other well.

129) Real Friends - “Mokena”

This song is good, but it’s... a little too angst-y at points.

128) Iggy Pop - “American Valhalla”

The best compliment I can give this song is it sounds unlike anything I’ve ever heard. Not a fun listen every time, but if you consciously immerse, it can definitely work.

127) The Avett Brothers - “Ain't No Man”

Good mom song; feels like fun. passed the torch with this one.

126) Paul Simon - “Horace And Pete”

Louis C.K. got Simon to write a theme song for his dramedy “Horace and Pete”, and the diminutive one came through in spades. I sometimes like to shoehorn in the f-word when singing along to help break up some of the seriousness. But yeah, this feels like a ‘60s classic even though it’s essentially brand new.

125) Frank Ocean - “Nikes”

The A.V. Club summed up my opinion of the Frank Ocean record with one swift line: “On first listen, Blonde feels like a Cracker Jack box with no toy in it.”

Amen.

Don’t get it twisted: I love Frank, still believe in Frank, and of course consider “channel ORANGE” to (objectively) be one of the greatest albums of this generation, but “Blonde”? It didn’t connect. Somewhat reluctantly, I picked this song for the list because it was the first one I heard, and it stands as a symbol of the initial hope which faded over a few listens. But when Ocean breaks in after all the high pitched singing, it does feel like a moment.

Also, this line will always stick: “RIP Pimp C / RIP Trayvon, that n**** look just like me”.

124) DJ Khaled f/ Jay-Z & Future - “I Got The Keys”

DJ Khaled is a talentless jackass, annoyingly ad libbing his way into our brains. Unfortunately, my personal favorite artist chooses to make listenable songs with him. Alas, No. 124. Jay slaying with “My wife Beyoncé, I brag different”. Future... being Future.

123) Slim Thug - “King”

The always underrated Slim Thug, hangin’ out and tellin’ you about his life. Also lifting weights. Minus points for using the Pimp C sample Jigga used in “FuckWithMeYouKnowIGotIt” only three years ago.

122) American Football - “Give Me The Gun”

This band will never hit for me as much as it does with cool/laid back guitar people, but I enjoyed this tune. And I wish my friend Luke were here to listen with me.

121) Craig Finn - “Screenwriters School”

Craig Finn, as slow and chill as you’ll ever hear him.

120) Mikey Erg - “1001 Smashed Motel Rooms”

Solid verses, big chorus, and you can almost, like, tell he’s bald by the voice (not an insult).

119) Cassadee Pope - “Summer”

The former Hey Monday singer goes in on the strongest season.

118) The Cool Kids - “Connect 4″

It’s very difficult to write about The Cool Kids without using the word “cool”, but man, these guys have such a great interplay. It’s not two separate dudes taking turns; it’s a glorious intertwine with true chemistry.

117) Third Eye Blind - “Cop vs. Phone Girl"

This is our first song I’d call an imperative listen. I say this because you need you to hear Stephan Jenkins sing “Why's it so hard to say ‘Black Lives Matter’? / Doesn't mean that you're anti-white / Take it from me, I'm super fucking white”.

He remains bulletproof.

116) Wakrat - “Sober Addiction”

I was positive this song was a jam after one listen, but I’ve listened 3-4 times since, and it’s gotten progressively worse each time. If that’s not enough of a hook, the singer is the Rage Against The Machine bassist.

115) Owl Meet Rabbit - “This Side Of The Nut House”

A Christmas song with a “National Lampoon” reference.

114) YG f/ Drake & Kamaiyah - “Why You Always Hatin?”

Still a little unclear why Drake keeps agreeing to be in YG songs. His verse references sliding into DMs.

113) Yo Gotti f/ Nicki Minaj - “Down In The DM (Remix)”

...and we also have a track titled after it. My biggest memory with this song will be feeling sick in an Uber from Chicago to Forest Park on, like, a weekday morning but still mustering the nerve to laugh at the chorus, which is egregious enough before the “bridge” of “Snapchat me that pussy, if it’s cool”. Seriously. RIP, music.

112) The Dirty Nil - “Zombie Eyed”

This rips.

111) Microwave - “Homebody”

A good song that pulls you in further when the distortion gets bigger in the chorus.

110) AJJ - “Terrifyer”

Some days, you're a member of Queen Other days, you're a Kottonmouth King Some days, you're Emilio Estevez Other days, you're Charlie Sheen

109) Band of Horses - “Casual Party”

These guys are all smooth harmonies.

108) Fitz and the Tantrums - “HandClap”

This song is pretty unoffensive, but it’s catchy enough to work.

107) Nothing - “The Dead Are Dumb”

“The Dead Are Dumb” -or- if the “Twin Peaks” theme actually went somewhere.

106) Car Seat Headrest - “Unforgiving Girl (She's Not An)”

This band kinda reminds me of The Strokes; just a liiiiiitle less New York street and a tad more indie.

105) Vince Staples f/ Kilo Kish - “Loco”

Vince got into the news this year after defending the mom who had an extreme distaste for his lyrics in 2015′s “Norf Norf”. Let’s just say she also would not enjoy this one. His interplay with Kilo is on point.

104) GTA f/ Vince Staples - “Little Bit of This”

‘ey, it’s Vince again, and this one is stronger; somehow topping the high energy of “Loco” with another level of fire-spitting.

103) The Living End - “Monkey”

The Aussies broke a 13 year album hiatus with 2016′s “Shift”, and “Monkey”, one of the lead singles, did not disappoint. There will always be a place for songwriting like this.

102) Vic Mensa - “16 Shots”

This song is so raw and street and real. Sometimes you hear something, and it just cuts like a knife. I’m talking a “Straight Outta Compton” level here. Mensa has thoughts on police brutality in Chicago, and he ain’t holding back. He played this live on Kimmel, and his solemn-yet-wired energy could not be ignored.

101) Boyd & The Stahfools - “Summerly”

Some might say BATS sold out with this very commercial ode to Pollyanna’s raspberry wheat ale, but when you consume as much of it as those boys do, I say it’s legit art.

100) Macklemore & RL f/ J. Woods - “White Privelege II”

This is kinda like the Third Eye Blind message on Black Lives Matter, only the exact opposite. It’s... quite heavy handed, and while I like that from Macklemore, I realize a lot do not. All I can say in his defense is, like, man, it really seems like this dude is trying, and he certainly attempted to involve the right people. If that’s not good enough for you, I get it.

(Plus, he kinda digs on Iggy; throwing y’all a bone, just take it.)

99) Conor Oberst - “A Little Uncanny”

Oberst sounds a ton like Bob Dylan in this one, but he also sounds a ton like Oberst. It’s kinda like two massive folk tidal waves crashing into each other.

98) Cymbals Eat Guitars - “Have A Heart”

CEG -- despite a terrific name -- have always made music that felt obtuse, but this is the first song that felt ready-made to, like, give normal people a window to check out the band.

97) Green Day- “Bang Bang”

Everyone wants to over-analyze Green Day. But if you don’t do that, you’ll enjoy this as a fast and easy pop-punk song. It plays at my gym sometimes, and I always kinda assume people are annoyed by it. To quote Josh from “Heavyweights”, this pleases me.

96) James Vincent McMorrow - “Get Low”

Chill/cool.

95) The Flatliners - “Hang My Head”

This won’t end up in their all-time Top 5, but it’s a good song, and it was nice to hear from this band in 2016.

94) AFI - “Snow Cats”

This would sound right at home as a mid-tempo number on “Sing The Sorrow”.

93) Jay Electronica - “#TBE The Curse Of Mayweather”

Oof, what a shitty title. So, this is Jay Elect’s “blast back” at Kendrick Lamar after K-Dot slaughtered the rap game (and shit, maybe rap itself) in 2013′s “Control”. But here’s the thing... “Control” was “Control”. No one is topping “Control”. No one is successfully going at “Control”. That’s in its own stratosphere. Was it fun to see the enigmatic MC try? Sure. Did it make any type of impact? Eh, no. But I did enjoy the fake Kendrick voice.

92) The Dyes - “Loudmouth”

Out of every song so far, I’ve found this the toughest to write about. My favorite part is probably the way the guitar and bass play off each other, but my second favorite part has to be how sinister and swaggery it sounds.

91) Big Sean - “Get My Shit Together”

Maaaan, I missed Big Sean in 2016 after an extremely fruitful 2015. The few times he did surface -- on other people’s songs -- he stayed in form, so you’ll see more of him as this goes.

It feel like young Ray Allen with the white twins

90) Emeli Sandé f/ Jay Electronica & Áine Zion - “Garden”

Serene, with a fitting Jay Elect verse.

89) Yumi Zouma - “Haji Awali”

Chiller than a Coleman.

88) Jimmy Eat World - “Get Right”

We’ve talked about this before, but JEW typically have sunny day feel good songs, or nighttime darkness-type songs; this one’s the latter.

87) Into It. Over It. - “No EQ”

Sooooo good; melodic and percussive and soulful. It tugs at your heart just the right amount.

86) The Front Bottoms - “Joanie”

This really, really sounds like a Front Bottoms song, which I mostly mean as a compliment but also... am slightly worried about as it pertains to future material.

85) The Lumineers - “Ophelia”

Would I like to steal this song and give it to a girl and say I wrote it to mega impress her? Uh, duh. Piano for dayz.

84) Viola Beach - “Swings & Waterslides”

Kinda a lighter version of the Arctic Monkeys; mostly the singing... but in a big way.

83) The Game - “92 Bars”

It’s sposta be a Meek Mill diss, but it’s basically Game freestyling about a buncha stuff over a workable beat. Some real solid lines, too. My favorites:

- “I can kill you in four bars, that's a Kit Kat”

- “Let me tell you who suck, like banana Now and Laters” (haha)

- “Give me Left Eye back, take Fetty Wap and the Raiders”

- “Gum by them Yeezys, I'm the 6'5" Eazy” (MVP bar?)

- “This the Golden State and my shooters ain't on no hoop shit” (coooold)

82) OMI - “Hula Hoop”

I’mma give the write up here to my girl Alyssa Pawola, via her husband, Jeff Pawola (who watched the video after she was told the song reminded me of him):

She agreed with you!

She says it's because the singer dances similar to me and is a little goofy (compliment?), whereas all the girls around him are really good dancers (thus, her).

81) Joey Purp f/ Chance The Rapper - “Girls @”

If you’re not all-in on this song by the seven or eight second mark, then you can probably pass. HOWEVA, Chance and his 3 hat appear later on, so we call that incentive, young Bucky.

80) Vinnie Caruana - “I Don’t Believe You”

The feels like a last-song-on-the-record kinda track.

/looks up if it was the last song on the record

...8 of 10!

(Close enough.)

79) No Lenox - “Leave”

This song is heart and blood, with a rare use of “fucking” from Chris Trott.

78) JANK - “Versace Summer”

JANK is interesting. All of their artwork and motif make them seem like stoners (and maybe they are), but the music itself is so technical and synced. Like, you know they’re trying and very capable. So as weird as seeing “Versace” next to “JANK” might look, maybe it’s this high end brand that truly does fit their sound over, say, Faygo. But yeah, by the time this song is done, even though they’ve played the chorus a handful of times, you probably wouldn’t mind a handful more.

77) White Lung - “Dead Weight”

This band is just the coolest shit. They always go so, so hard, but this time, there’s a guitar playing mega bad ass leads to help even things out. I would believe you if you told me the guitar was also shooting lasers.

76) Descendents - “Without Love”

Like The Living End, the Descendents have also been out of the ‘releasing new records’ game for over a decade. And as jokey of a band as they’ve been in the past, this song has some of the same earnestness and vulnerability we heard on 2004′s “Cool To Be You”.

75) Andrew Bird - “Roma Fade”

For sure a candidate for coolest song title of 2016.

74) LVL UP - “Hidden Driver”

This is too indie for its own good.

73) A$AP Ferg f/ Big Sean - “World Is Mine”

Mostly included for Sean. Sorry, Ferg -- but you did give him the hook and a verse.

72) AM Taxi - “Enough To Feel Like Enough”

Like The Front Bottoms song from earlier, this AM Taxi song is very AM Taxi. But I ain’t ever worried about AM Taxi.

71) Rozwell Kid - “Baby’s First Sideburns”

Not sure I’ve ever heard a weak song by this band.

70) PARTYNEXTDOOR f/ Drake - “Come And See Me”

If you wanted to upset your love interest in 2016, hitting him or her with the “I hear you talkin' 'bout ‘we’ a lot, oh, you speak French now?” line was probably a good place to start.

69) Tancred - “Bed Case”

Kinda ‘90s, right? Nice.

68) Thrice - “Blood On The Sand”

Moderate take alert: I purport the Thrice singer sounds like Dave Grohl in this song, particularly during the chorus. Come at me with your agrees or disagrees.

67) MakeWar - “Ode”

The dude on this band’s album cover always reminds me of Rafa Nadal, which is weird, as I’d argue he looks -20% like Rafa Nadal. This song has a downcast energy. I think I wanna see these dudes live.

66) PKEW PKEW PKEW - “Asshole Pandemic”

Party punk, wooooo. You will not find a more circular 2016 lyric than “Why’s this fuckin’ dick gotta be such a cock?”

65) Adam Friedman f/ Mike Posner - “Lemonade”

blue eyes >>> brown eyes, Adam.

64) Matt and Kim - “Let’s Run Away”

As always-always-always, Matt and Kim are having more fun than we are.

63) Ariana Grande f/ Nicki Minaj - “Side To Side”

As recently as 40 days ago, I was emaling my friends about this track with the very loaded “I’m not sure this song is good at all”.

My buddy Brian’s response will probably jar you like it jarred me:

Gotta say, I have a soft spot for this song. I think the beat is pretty banging and the subject matter is a plus. Like, we do have to acknowledge that she's walking side to side because she's been having sex with dude all night and day and now her vagina is too sore to walk like a regular person. I can dig that.

Well then.

62) With You. f/ Vince Staples - “Ghost”

Weird music video, but definitely my favorite version of Vince that we got in 2016.

61) Fifth Harmony f/ Ty Dolla $ign - “Work From Home”

I was listening to this song with my girlfriend the other day, and I said something like “This song could really use a rap cameo”. Enter: the very forgettable Ty Dolla $ign. Still, a fun, sexty song. Also, I believe this is our first -- and only? -- song to have over one billion YouTube views (!!!).

60) Masked Intruder - “If Only”

This made it over other MI candidates due to the Winnie Cooper reference.

59) Fat Joe, Remy Ma, Jay-Z f/ French Montana & Infared - “All The Way Up (Remix)”

An easy chorus for sports teams to co-opt, as well as a “fuck off me” Jay verse. He bucks “Lemonade”, ups his products for the infinite time, and drops the mic after:

The OG's say, "Hov, how high is high enough?" I said "'till we eye and eye with the higher ups" Until we let 'em know, we ain't those n****s Until our baby's showered in gold, n**** Blue looking like Pac in the tub David LaChapelle levels of not giving a fuck Prince left his masters where they safe and sound We never gonna let the elevator take him down

Man.

Worry not, cockroach French is around to muck things up. It’s salvaged by a real dope Remy Ma verse, though.

58) Al Scorch - “Everybody Out”

The perfect soundtrack for escaping a busted speakeasy.

57) Tegan and Sara - “Dying To Know”

This song makes the list because the “Boyfriend” chorus was lazy as hell; it was like the “Closer” chorus, version 2.0. Conversely, “Dying To Know” has real emotion and a big, legit chorus.

56) Bloc Party - “The Good News”

A song I fear no one will like but me... but hey, my list.

55) New Lenox - “It’s Its Own Thing”

This is a song I wrote (and drummed on) about how winter sucks. It’s also about Chicago, being alone, finding someone, and using Banner Pilot to get through tough, frozen times. Shout out to Dave Rokos for singing the majority of the leads and Chris Trott for producing.

54) Julien Baker - “Photobooth”

I became enamored with the voice and talent of 21-year-old phenom Julien Baker throughout 2016, and though she released her debut album in 2015 (ALL TRACKS DISQUALIFIED, CHICA), she did drop this Death Cab cover for The A.V. Club this year, so I found a way to get her in the door. Now that we’re all here, I’ll give the floor to Deadspin’s Tom Ley:

What I did not expect was to like this version of the song so much that I now become visibly disgusted when I try to go back and listen to the original. Like all the good, thoughtful teens of my era, I spent a lot of time listening to Death Cab in my car, and I used to nod along pleasantly when “Photobooth” came on. But now I’m just angry I ever wasted any time listening to a lesser version of the song. In my opinion, Death Cab should just turn their entire catalog over to Julien Baker and be done with it.

Ironically, I will be seeing Baker open up for Death Cab singer Ben Gibbard later this January.

53) Desiigner - “Panda”

This is a bad song... but it’s incredibly listenable (for about 30 seconds, only it keeps going for a normal amount of time). It got upped on Kanye’s album, which likely sparked public interest in this mumble rap disaster. Literally the best thing you can say is it’s a Future rip off -- and he’s not all that great to begin with.

/sadly looks up YouTube view total

190 million; Fifth Harmony is like “pshhhh”.

Yet, “Panda” somehow endures. It feels fresh, saying “panda” repatedly never seems to tire, and it burned down the dance floor at Brian Pawola’s wedding this summer; old and young alike wanted to be pandas.

Now is also probably a good time to disclose my Halloween costume...

52) Cloud Nothings - “Modern Act”

Me, blogging about my excitement for the new Cloud Nothings album that drops in three weeks.

51) A Tribe Called Quest f/ André 3000 - “Kids” (no link)

Welcome back.

50) Run The Jewels - “Talk To Me”

Haven’t listened to RTJ3, but it’s only been out for, like, 10 days. Still, this song is as reliably dope as they’ve always been. I also felt compelled to include ATCQ and RTJ in these spots to ensure they were not above “Panda”.

Brave men didn't die face down in the Vietnam muck so I could not style on you

49) Kevin Devine - “No History”

My aforementioned buddy Dave Rokos likes this song because of its big chorus, and I’d also like to use it as a selling point.

48) Kings Of Leon - “Reverend”

For as big as Kings Of Leon are, I haven’t really heard this song anywhere.

47) Rae Sremmurd f/ Gucci Mane - “Black Beatles”

I always thought Rae Sremmurd were kinda meh (at best) and Gucci Mane was an idiot’s idiot (at absolute best), but this song’s a banger -- and this conclusion was reached prior to it going viral with the Mannequin Challenges. Speaking of... my 2016 Black Wednesday:

A video posted by Bobby L (@bobbystompy) on Nov 23, 2016 at 7:15pm PST

46) Grimes - “Kill V. Maim”

This song is straight out of a video game or action movie. Like, get ready to fight a boss or something.

45) Dave Hause - “With You”

Heartfelt ballad that feels sprawled out across a few genres.

44) Robin Thicke f/ Nas - “Deep”

What do we get when we combine a dude with no credibility and feature a dude with tons of credibility? A sneaky sizzling collab. And if you still got beef, remember: it ain’t that deep.

43) Against Me! - “Rebecca”

A lot of people have had this AM! song on their year end lists, and I wasn’t seeing it, but after a few extra spins, it became pretty clear this was thee highlight from the album. It’s got this kinetic energy, spinning out of control while somehow maintaining perfect balance.

42) Restorations - “See”

Restorations make spectrum songs; ones you listen to while the world moves in slow motion at an airport reunion, while time stops after a death, or stretches out on an overly contemplative Sunday evening. What I’m saying is, these dudes control the clocks.

41) Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties - “Green Like The G Train, Green Like Sea Foam”

Soupy from The Wonder Years’ solo project keeps -- PUN INTENDED -- chuggin’ along with this one. He’s singing in the same gear he always sings in, but the chorus and always trusty synced rhythms that break it in two definitely get me goin’.

40) Titus Andronicus - “No Future”

Titus Andronicus covering Craig Finn, and they add just the right amount of anguish to the proceedings. There’s such an obvious-yet-still-clever element to the “February’s about as long as it is wide” line.

39) Rihanna - “Needed Me” (NSFW-ish video)

This song is good -- Mustard on the beat, natch -- but RiRi murdering a dude in the back of a strip club in the video might be better.

38) Jeff Rosenstock - “Festival Song”

The former Bomb the Music Industry! singer dipped his toe in a few genres throughout his 2016 album “Worry”, though I’m not sure how to describe this one; it’s kind of spastic punk with some synthy keyboards and a catchy outro, strong enough to throw two capable haymakers as the song enters its final minute.

37) The Steve Adamyk Band f/ Colleen Green - “Carry On”

I hadn’t even heard of this band a month ago, but “Carry On” has quickly become a favorite; toe-tappin' rock.

36) The Naked And Famous - “Higher”

This band seems like they’d have -- there is no better word I’m so sorry -- epic concerts. Also, don’t miss out on the “In The Air Tonight”-sounding fills.

35) Phantogram - “You Don’t Get Me High Anymore”

Brilliant drum samples, drug stuff, and a pop sensibility; you seriously could not ask for more.

34) Child Bite - “Vermin Mentality”

This song is quite harsh, and I imagine if you had individual approval ratings for all 132 of these songs, it would very easily finish in the bottom five. That said, I think it rocks, and it reminds me of the Dead Kennedys’ best scenario.

33) Joyce Manor - “Last You’ve Heard Of Me”

Sure, I reacted like a mom when I saw Barry’s new neck tattoo in the video, but the song was the redeemer. Recommended if you like the Everclear “Santa Monica” intro, marijuana makes you tired, or you’ve found love in the parking lot outside a karaoke bar.

32) Cassino - “Alabama Song”

If you did happen to listen to “Vermin Mentality”, this’ll probably be the song to get that taste out of your mouth. I love its overall laid back vibe, even if what it’s about remains unclear after a good chunk of listens.

31) Direct Hit! - “Was It The Acid?”

This one lost several punk points after the singer revealed he did not use hard drugs. But still.

30) Bayside - “Pretty Vacant”

My buddy Brian Pawola doesn’t like this song because of the teenage-y “I can’t believe this is my life, I’m pretty vacant all the time” chorus, but that’s precisely why I do. Also, apparently the album it’s off of is called “Vacancy”, haha.

29) PUP - “Familiar Patterns”

Feels weird not picking a single, but this one was always my favorite; the same percussive power, shreddy singing, and unrelenting noise we got in their debut a few years ago. Also funny: they named their 2016 album “The Dream Is Over”, which is what the PUP singer’s doctor told him after diagnosing his vocal chord ailment.

28) Tokyo Police Club - “Not My Girl”

Sometimes, I wanna tell non-punk fans TPC is what all punk rock sounds like, because even though the band has more of a pop-indie element, they do seem like the genre’s best case scenario more often than not.

27) The Falcon - “If Dave Did It”

Feels like sacrilege picking a Dave Hause fronted track for my Falcon choice. After all, this is Brendan Kelly’s group, and after an EP and two full lengths, it’s Dave’s first ever time fronting a song in the band. But this song kept standing out. It also has a small drum solo, and even though basically all drum solos are bad, Neil Hennessy’s on the kit -- so you know you’re in good hands.

26) Chance The Rapper f/ 2 Chainz & Lil Wayne - “No Problem”

Chance’s “Coloring Book” was so positive and creative and multi-faceted that it feels a little wrong to pick a song that’s more traditional rap with typical guests, but it really is the best song, you know? For whatever reason, Lil Wayne’s nonchalant verse was my favorite, with his initial bars being the highlight:

I got problems bigger than these boys My deposits, they be on steroids Lord, free the Carter, n****s need the Carter Sacrificin' everything, I feel like Jesus Carter

But sure, we can also highlight funny 2 Chainz things:

- “Inside of the Maybach look like it came out of Ikea / Run shit like diarrhea” (oh my god)

- “Aye, aye, captain / I'm high, captain / I'm so high / Me and God dappin'” (haha)

Also, if you don’t raise-and-drop your arms for the “huh! huh!” part before the beat kicks in at the beginning after “lobby”, you’re a monster.

youtube

25) David Rokos - “Pacific Time”

Falling in lust with a California girl who has the keys to bomb ass hotel room overlooking the ocean? What self-deprecating heterosexual dude isn’t signing up for this?

24) NOFX - “Six Years On Dope”

Thrash punk, with Fat Mike and Eric Melvin divvying up the vocals after arguing to start the song. Here’s the July 2016 description I emailed to the gf:

So, the lead singer has kind of a flat, annoying voice, but then there's this guitarist who mostly does yell parts and not a lot of leads, but in this song, they both basically trade off yelling, and the guitar is blaring, and it just does not relent. They've released a million records at this point, but something about it feels so fresh. Like new blood has been infused into all of them.