#and sometimes we don't even realize it's happening until it's like 3am for the other-

[solange-lol]

i don't need three bars to tell me we're meant to connect

words: 1,997

AUctober day 21: academia

read on ao3

—

There’s a boy in Will’s Intro to Writing class, and Will is in love with him.

Maybe love isn’t the right word, but he’s definitely encased by this guy. He has dark hair, dark eyes, and he’s way smarter than everyone in the class which is something Will can seriously respect.

Every day at 2pm he logs on, never really quite sure what’s going on in the class because he’s too curious about what he’s wearing or if Will can get some sort of idea as to who his roommate is. 

In a normal circumstance, Will would consider maybe introducing himself, or at least trying to catch this kid at the dining hall. For now, though, he’s stuck staring at him through his tiny computer screen.

This whole Zoom class thing limits what he can learn about this kid, especially since he only has two things hung up in the background of his call: a pride flag and a poster for a card game Will has never seen.

All Will can know about him, for now, is his name is Nico, he’s gay, and he’s really, really hot. 

Which is enough for him to already be falling.

And by some ungodly power, his friends already knew, too.

Will’s roommate, Connor Stoll, probably figured out the day he just so happened to walk past Will’s desk just as the blonde had pinned Nico’s screen to his computer (he was just trying to get a better look at what his shirt said.)

“Stalker much?” had been the only thing he remarked. Of course, less than a week later and he was already getting advice on how to ask Nico out from Connor and his boyfriend, Mitchell.

“I don’t even know him,” Will points out, to which Connor responds with, “You know him enough to care about what’s written on his shirt.”

He rolls his eyes. “That was a one time thing.”

“Trust me, Will. If I managed to get this one to ask me out, I think you can ask out someone,” Mitchell said, slugging Connor lightly in the shoulder who only nods proudly.

When that hadn’t turned out to be much helpful (Will isn’t exactly the best at just doing things,) he opts to ask Lou Ellen and Cecil, the two kids he had met in the first week of classes

They had been introduced when the teacher put them in breakout rooms to get to know each other in small groups. Will knew both already vaguely: Lou was also in his Chemistry class, and Cecil lived on his floor.

The three ended up bonding over their shared love of Star Wars and inevitably made a group chat together to share homework answers for the class or discuss whatever the weekly drama was that they were able to catch bits and pieces of. Turns out life is just as eventful even when everybody is stuck to their own dorms.

Will had barely been able to get two words out to them on FaceTime before Lou interrupts him.

“You need help asking out Nico from our writing class, don’t you?”

Will just blinks. “How did you know?”

“Because you mention every day what he talked about in class today.”

“I do?”

“Yeah, and you asked me if I knew what floor he lived on,” Cecil adds. “I was betting on murder, maybe, but once Lou Ellen told me it was probably a crush it made a little more sense.”

Will shakes his head. “I’m gonna choose to ignore the murder part.”

“I sent Mitchell after you. Isn’t he supposed to be a love expert or something?” Lou Ellen asks.

“That was you? I thought that was just Connor oversharing his roommate drama with his boyfriend!”

“You really think Connor has enough brain cells to do all that? The kid can barely remember what he has for breakfast most days,” Lou rolls her eyes. “Look, the best case scenario, he’s your soulmate and you guys get married and have a million kids.”

“I don’t even know if I want kids-”

“Fine, dogs, whatever. Worst case scenario, classes are all online this semester and you literally just don’t look at his face for the rest of the year.”

It’s a good point, and Will really is seriously considering it now, but there’s still one thing standing in the way.

“Okay, well, it’s not like I can really ask him out,” Will points out. “We’re barely allowed to leave our dorms, and I don’t know if a Zoom first date is the best idea.”

“Then just figure out a way to get his number. That way, you two can talk, and when this whole quarantine thing is over then you’ll be close enough that you can finally go on a date,” Cecil suggests.

Both Will and Lou Ellen nod enthusiastically.

“Cecil, that might be the smartest thing I’ve ever heard you say,” Lou says dreamily. 

“Now we just have to figure out a way for Will to get the balls to actually do it.”

Will gasps, fake hurt. “I’ll figure it out, thank you very much.”

They continue discussing their plan before Lou Ellen inevitably notices that they’re in fact, 15 minutes late to Intro to Writing.

As the three scramble into the Zoom meeting at the same time, Will may or may not notice Nico bite back a laugh. He decides being late was worth it.

—

When Will’s teacher put him and Nico in a breakout room together, Will knew this was probably his chance.

That is until he has to go and make a fool of himself.

“I like your duck tree,” is the first thing Nico says when they enter the room, referencing the mini fake Christmas tree (even though both him and Connor are Jewish) that’s covered in all sorts of rubber ducks behind him. It was their 3am creation after moving into the dorm, which featured a midnight run to the dollar store and two noise complaints from their neighbors.

And, because Will can’t take anything seriously, he makes the mistake of talking.

“Thanks,” he says, then before he can stop himself, “Did you know they have curly dicks?”

Nico snorts. “What?”

Realizing what he said, Will just has to push through. “The ducks. It’s like a corkscrew shape.”

“Ah, gotcha,” Nico nods. “Is that your topic for your paper?”

Maybe explaining himself wasn’t a good idea.

“Nope, just, uh, something I learned in Biology when I was a freshman.”

Nico nods again. “Cool. So what is everyone’s topic?”

Yup, he blew it. Asking Nico out might take another decade now, or however long it takes for Will to regain his dignity after that interaction.

—

It’s another few weeks before Will actually sees Nico in person for the first time.

Ever since their breakout room conversation, he had only interacted with the boy if it was for class. Slowly but surely, he was healing from that mess of a first introduction.

That, of course, all went out the window after Will nearly ran straight into him on the way to his dorm after spending the weekend with Lou Ellen at her parent’s house. Meanwhile, Nico must have been on his way out.

Will almost didn’t recognize him when they bumped into each other, too panicked about running straight into someone he didn’t know. Once he recognized the wavy black hair and olive-toned skin, he knew immediately who it was.

Nico was shorter than he had thought he would be, almost a whole half foot smaller than Will, but that didn’t make him any less attractive. In fact, he was so, so much cuter in person than over a screen.

“Hey,” Nico grins. “Duck penis kid.”

Will ran straight into that one.

“I have a name, you know,” he narrows his eyes. “And like, actual interests.”

“Besides ducks and their breeding habits?”

“Yes, besides that. I wouldn’t exactly consider that an interest.”

Nico raises an eyebrow as if he’s skeptical, but his smile gives it all away.

“Well, I do know your name, William,” he says, and Will nearly passes out right then and there. “Do you know mine?”

“It says your name on Zoom, Nico,” he responds as casually as he possibly can. “And it’s- it’s just Will, actually.”

“That’s not what it says on your Zoom name.”

“Well, that’s-” Will flushes. “That’s because I don’t know how to change it.”

“Well, I guess you'll have to remind me to teach you if we’re ever in a breakout room together again,” Nico laughs. “I’ll see you around, Will.”

He heads off, and before he can stop himself, Will calls after him.

“Wait!”

Nico spins on his heel at the bottom of the next staircase, looking up at him with those dark eyes. For a moment, Will completely forgets what he wants to say.

“Um, would you want to, uh, play GamePigeon sometime over iMessage?” he offers. It was the ‘foolproof’ invitation that Lou Ellen had come up with, considering it’s something they did on a near-daily basis.

“Intro to Writing isn’t the most interesting class— well, maybe you think it is, I don’t know— but maybe, if you want a distraction one day…?” he continues, trailing off hopefully at the end.

Nico winces. “Oh, uh, I don’t have an iPhone, sorry,” he says, holding up his Samsung as proof. There are two little charms hanging off the phone case: a small rainbow and a skull, which makes Will melt a bit. Unfortunately, it doesn’t help his case at all.

“Oh, okay, then can I maybe get your number? Just… in general?”

Nico grins, raising his eyebrow again. “Are you asking me out, Solace?”

Will fights the heat creeping to his cheeks at the use of his last name. “Um, yes? If you want? We can’t really go out right now, Nit we could just talk? See if we work as friends and then maybe reconsider that date thing if you’re up for it? Because, uh, I think you’re cute, and we’re both queer, and I noticed your Ramones shirt the other day which is super cool because my dad introduced me to that band, so there’s something we have in common. And, uh, we can talk about whatever else you’re into, but I just thought I would take my chance because I’m into… you,” he rambles out.

Nico just blinks, and Will wonders if this was the best or dumbest decision he’s ever made.

“Or… or not,” he adds on, just in case.

Nico laughs, which is totally adorable, but also totally activates Will’s fight or flight. Before he can escape to his dorm, though, Nico holds out his hand.

“Solace, please,” he says, still in the same light, laugh-y tone. It takes a second to activate in Will’s brain that he’s asking for his phone to put his number in.

Oh.

Will steps down the staircase until he’s at the same level as Nico, pulling his phone out of his bag and handing it to the boy.

Nico stares at it. “Uh, you might want to put your passcode in first.”

“Right, right, sorry,” Will takes it back, unlocking his phone and finding the contacts app so Nico can put in his number.

This time when he hands it back, he’s smiling again. 

“See you in the Zoom call,” he tells Will, before turning the corner around the staircase, and Will realizes he should probably get back to his dorm if he wants to make his 7:00 Chem class.

It isn’t until he’s back in his room, listening to his professor drone on about chemical properties when he finally opens his phone. He taps on the contacts app, just checking to make sure the entire interaction wasn’t a fever dream.

Just as he expected, a new number is embedded in his contacts. Nido di Angelo. Next to the name, the duck emoji and the eggplant emoji.

Yeah, he was never going to live that down.

—

solangelo tag list (message to be added/removed): @unicornsgomooo @anxiouswinter @soulangelou @number-of-fucks-i-give-0 @underworldystuff @theeloquentsnake @solangelover@thefandomsaretakingover @internallyexplodingrainbows​ @hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon​ @motivatedcryptidtamer @emilyfairchild @wherethewildthingsare-nt @hetapeep41 @blavk-dahlia

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

ack hello i'm requesting again because ur stuff is just chefs kiss. anyways, could i have a 🍰? i'm hero, i istp (i used to be intp but i took the test again and got istp) with a 5w4 ennegram. i'm a scorpio, and i'm 5'5 with dark brown hair (that kind of looks greenish sometimes because of a failed hair dying attempt) that is cut into that shaggy emo-eboy type of hairstyle. i use they/them pronouns btw. i have a sort of grunge/mall goth aesthetic, and my personality is kind of bitchy and cold, but when i'm around people i'm close to i can get pretty chaotic. i have a monster energy addiction and i literally don't sleep because i'm stupid 🤠. i like to skateboard, paint, write, watch anime, play video games, and just chill with my friends over discord. i'm a huge procrastinator, and i'm pretty good at school except for math (60% bitchesss). my favorite music artists are the arctic monkeys, the neighborhood, and corpse (agoraphobic is a fucking vibe). i'm pretty dumb, in a like "i have no common sense and will literally do anything if you tell me to" type of way, so my friends have a lot of photos of me doing stupid shit. i curse a lot and make dirty jokes, but if i have to get serious i will (most of the time). i call everyone bro, and i'm kind of awkward with physical touch, though i'm touch starved as fuck (perfect combo i know) LIKES (that i haven't already mentioned): the rain, 3am, noise cancelling earphones, extra polar ice gum, boba, discord, fruity chapsticks, cleanliness (if i get the motivation to clean i like it). DISLIKES: geometry, cold wind, people who say they "are not like other girls", eggplants, large crowds, going to school early, buses, rap music, overly positive people. i hope that's enough and thank you so much <3

Not me realizing i sent you a matchup request a while back while writing this...

Also WTF WE ARE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON

I DEMAND WE BECOME FRIENDS LIKE RN

CW: a LOT of swearing (I’m sorry I got very hyped while writing this)

🍰 for @weeb-mp4

Romantic Matchup

Semi Eita

How yall met

He just saw you around school like all the time

And he really really liked your style

So one day he went up to you and was just like

Ayo Mamacita you cool as fuck when you free bbg ;)))

Jk

He just went up to you and was like

Hey your styles really cool

But you didn't answer him…

So he said it again

Still no answer

The poor boy was so confused

Had he done something to upset you?

But he's never even talked to you???

WHY WERE YOU IGNORING HIM?????

Then your friend came over and was like

Rude ass bitch that guy was talking to you

Turns out you had noise-canceling headphones on

You apologized to him and asked what he said

So he told you that he thought you were super cool and if your ever free to hang

You don't know why you agreed to hang out with a guy you just met

Bitch you gonna get kidnapped one day

But you accepted his offer

You guys decided to just go hang out at a nearby skate park

And it was such a simple hangout but yall had a BLAST

You had brought your speaker and asked him what music he wanted to listen to

Turns out yall like the same music!

And yall just skated around and talked a whole bunch

After that day you guys just hung out whenever you could

Honestly, there was never really a confession

People just assumed you were dating after a while

And when someone asked you both kinda just looked at each other and was like

Yeah. we are

What they love about you

He loves your overall VIBEEEEE

Like omg you're so chill

But so crazy

Super caring

But also low key a bitch

You're very smart

Yet you continue to do stupid shit

Your vibe is probably his favorite thing about you

Your style (duh)

It was literally the thing that drew him to you in the first place

Your style s like everything he wishes he could be

E-BOY SEMI SUPREMACY

100% has asked you to give him a makeover

He loves how your down for ANYTHING

He could be like hey you wanna go start a cult

And you'd just be like

Bold of you to assume I haven't started one yet 😐

Let's not get it twisted

This man loves EVERYTHING about you

These are just some of the MANY reasons why he loves you

Favorite things to do together

He loves to recreate the first time you both hung out

And he likes doing activities similar to that

Skating while blasting music

Driving while blasting music

Blasting music and singing along

Basically, anything where music involved

But he also loves having chill moments with you

Such as playing video games together

Or cuddling and watching anime

Random Hc

You got him addicted to monsters

You've created a MONSTER with MONSTERS

see what I did there

Most of your texting happens in the late hours of the night

Like get yo asses to bed smh

And most of your texting convos are about deep shit

Cause yk them late nights really get you thinking

If you're ever uncomfortable with him touching you

Just tell him

He respects you enough to respect any of your boundaries

Ok this next one very very random

But I love it

Hes fucking fabulous with that smudged eyeliner look

Astrology

Scorpio + Scorpio

Compatibility 82%

When emotional baggage is not a part of their everyday communication, the depth both of their minds have will be an incredible stimulus for each conversation they have.

No one can understand a Scorpio intellectually as much as another Scorpio.

Their topics can easily become dark, not because they both want to talk about depressing things, but because they understand each other in areas other people don’t want to deal with.

This is a good way for both of them to discover that they are not alone, and it can be healing for each partner for as long as emotional expectations are not involved.

If they work together and compete to advance to the same position or feel like they endanger each other’s status in any way, their contact can become truly unpleasant and turn to arguing, dismissal of anything said, or in one word – disrespect.

When they start a battle against each other, it cannot seem to stop, until one of them is beaten “dead” and there is nothing more that can be done for them to get back in the game.

If they see each other as adversaries, they will sting each other for victory, meaning they will do whatever it takes to win.

If they distance themselves from a situation, they might realize that none of them actually endangers the other.

To find mutual understanding, they need to lead separate lives and give each other enough room to do so.

Overall Aesthetic

90s Skater Bitchessss

Songs-

Daddy Issues (The Neighborhood)

Sweater Weather (The Neighborhood)

Oh Ana (Mother Mother)

505 (Arctic Monkeys)

[spidernerdsblog]

I forgot that you existed : Chapter one

A/N: okay chapter one is here going a little slow with the storyline wanted to add a little bit of details to the lives of the characters. I can guarantee in next chapter our hero will be in full form and not just in flashbacks. Hope you like it. Feedbacks and suggestions are always welcome.

Pairing : Tom Holland × Singer reader

 Summary: It's been more than five years since you and Tom have gone their own ways after a heartbreaking breakup which had left both of you shattered. Both of you thought that you were finally over with each other and were happy in your respective lives until you meet again at a reunion trip planned by your best friend and you realise you are still not done with each other.

 Warnings: none, flashbacks.

 Mini playlist: love story, ME! By Taylor Swift

We were both young when I first saw you

I close my eyes, and the flashback starts

I'm standing there

On a balcony in summer air

 Sounds of giggles and laughter " No! she is my best friend" Harrison exclaimed pulling you by grabbing your left hand towards him "No she is my best friend!" Tom said, pulling your right hand. You couldn't stop giggling as you were stuck between a tug of war between your two best friends who stated that you can only be best friend to any one of them not both. You were only 5 years old then Tom & Harrison both 3 years older than you but you loved hanging out with them.

Your parents shifted from LA to London for their work and coincidentally your house was in the same neighborhood as were of the boys. You all became friends through your mothers when they used to take you to the park when you were toddlers. You were the only girl of the whole boys gang consisting of Tom, Harrison, Harry and Sam and they were very protective about you. You used to boss them around.

 As Haz and Tom were quarrelling over whose best friend you were in the backyard of the Holland's house. Tom out of nowhere declared "if it's that so Y/N is my girlfriend" and gave a gentle peck on your lips, you stood there in shock and soon you started blushing as you covered your face with your hands and ran inside to your mother who was chatting with Nikki.

 You went up to your mom and asked innocently "Mom, Tom said that I'm his girlfriend and gave me a kissy like you give me every night before bed. Is he no more my best friend ?" Both the mothers started laughing as Nikki spoke  “no peanut he will always be your best friend and if you love bugs stay like this forever maybe he can be your husband too."

 You scrunched your face and said "eww!! I will not marry him"

 “why is that so? " your mother asked laughing

 "he always steals my chocolates" you said innocently “no I don't!! Tom said from behind as he entered the house with Haz, “yes you did yesterday only you took it from my bag at school” both of you now started arguing. Nikki and your mom burst into laughter after hearing it. That was the beginning of your love story.

 Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone

I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

It's a love story baby just say "Yes"

 .........................................................

You loved to listen to songs as it helps to release your stress and this song of yours was very dear to you as it reminded you of some sweet memories. You were scrolling through the photographs that you had taken back when you were living in London together with the boys as you thought about that whole incident, your actual first kiss, you smiled and shook your head at the realization that you both had disappointed your mothers.

 You finally dialled Harrison's number he picked up instantly

 "Hey Y/N!"

 "Hello.. this is 911 what is your emergency?" You chuckled

 "You will never change will ya?"

 "That was the plan actually to never change"

 "Talking to you after a long time man missed your voice so much"

 "Me too Haz.. So how's everything going there?"

 "Yeah everything is fine here just wrapped up my new film."

 "Great!! How are the boys, Nikki and Dom?"

 "They are all fine. Harry is busy with his new film's plot, Sam as usual experimenting with new dishes."

 "An.. and how's he?" You hesitatedly asked

 "He's good too wrapped up Avengers 5 will be returning home tomorrow.

By the way congratulations for the success of your new album to be honest it's a badass album the lyrics are dope."

 You giggled.. "Thanks Haz"

 "So now are you free or still have any upcoming projects?"

 "I can never be free Haz I m always working, always thinking of lyrics for my next song. Leave all that, what was the emergency that you said to call so urgently?"

 "Ummm.. Y/N I want something from you."

"Anything for you Haz"

 "You have to promise me first Y/N that whatever I say you have to say yes"

 "When have I ever said you no anyways just tell me"

 "No! Y/N first promise me"

 "Uggh Okay Haz I promise now spit it out. Sometimes you really act childish." you rolled your eyes.

"I want you to come back home I mean back here at London I have planned a 10 days trip to Cornwall at my beach house which we all used to go every summer when we were kids it's a sort of reunion for the whole gang I have invited Z and Jacob too"

 "Haz you know I only go on Christmas every year to spend time with you guys because that is when I m free. And I'm pretty busy this month. I have a recording to be done next week for my upcoming single."

 "Y/N you promised you will not refuse me. I just want a little time from your busy life.”

 "But Haz…"

 "And also I'm gonna celebrate my 30th birthday there, your man is getting old love."

 "Umm... I don't know what to say Haz I'm confused"

 "If you're thinking about him I can assure you there will be no problem besides he is not single anymore so why worry?"

 That is the problem Haz you said in your mind.

 "Umm okay I'll give it a thought and let you know after confirming the availability of dates." You ended the call and fell back on your bed, your hands and legs spreading across the bed  like a starfish. You face palmed and groaned.

 You went into a deep thought, your brain still processing the whole conversation you had with Harrison. After a few minutes you heard your phone buzzing and you smiled as you looked to see who was calling. It was Zendaya, face timing you. You had seriously wished to talk to someone right now. You have very few close friends in the industry and Zendaya was one of them. You collaborated with her for your bad blood music video and you guys clicked instantly from that day you became really close. She was your 3am BFF and you both knew each other's darkest secrets. You picked up the call.

 "So Haz called you up didn't he?"

 "Bingo!! So what are you thinking?" Zendaya laughed

 "I don't know Z. I just feel scared. I know I have met him a couple of times during my Christmas visits after everything happened  but that was just a one day thing and this whole 10 day trip is freaking me out. I also don't want to disappoint Haz. I missed all of his birthdays for the past few years on purpose just to avoid Tom."

 " You are just over thinking babe everything will be fine and I will be there to cheer up your emotional ass. Besides as much as I know Tom is very chilled out he will not bother you."

 " I don't think so. He has a very cold attitude towards me even now whenever I go back home. "

 After you moved to NY you almost begged your parents to move here and stay with you but they were adamant of staying in London so once in a year you used to visit your family and friends during Christmas. The Christmas Dinner was always hosted by the Holland's after your break up you always panicked to go to their house. The first year when you went. The boys, Nikki, Dom welcomed you as if nothing had happened; they hugged you with joy. But when you went to give Tom a hug he just backed off and out of formality gave you a shoulder hug and you got your hint to stay away. He even brought his new girlfriend for the dinner which you thought he did on purpose to make you jealous or hurt you. And you were actually hurt at the thought that he really moved on so quickly. So you avoided family gatherings to prevent such awkward situations.

  "Babe your life doesn’t revolve around Tom he was a part of your life which is over. Start living your life. And we are in our early 30’s and still single don’t wanna die like that do you ??. Even if you want you can have your sweet little revenge by showing off that hot body on the beach and show that asshole what he missed." Z smirked.

 You quirked your eyebrows “So you're telling me to be a bitchy ex who doesn’t want to see her ex boyfriend happy”

 " Nooo!!! I didn’t mean that just show him how happy you are, that you are one of a kind, he will never find anyone like you in his life. We are gonna have a blast honey and you are coming so start packing."

 You had to finally give in with a deep sigh you said .."okay Z I ll go but if I jump off the cliff after all the mental stress I'm going to get in those 10 days you and Haz will be responsible for it." you laughed.

"Oh we won't want that. Besides you have handled more stressful moments than this you will be fine dramaqueen." Zendaya said.

 You talked to Alex about the whole trip to sort out the dates. He was a little sceptical at first about the whole reunion with ex trip , but he believed in you and gave you a nod for the trip. You informed the good news to Haz of your approval to the whole trip. Before you could leave for your unplanned vacation you had to finish recording and shooting for your new upcoming single featuring Breidon Urie.

 "I promise that you'll never find another like me

I know that I'm a handful, baby, uh

I know I never think before I jump

And you're the kind of guy the ladies want

(And there's a lot of cool chicks out there)

I know that I went psycho on the phone

I never leave well enough alone

And trouble's gonna follow where I go

(And there's a lot of cool chicks out there)

But one of these things is not like the others

Like a rainbow with all of the colors

Baby doll, when it comes to a lover

I promise that you'll never find another like

Me-e-e, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

I'm the only one of me

Baby, that's the fun of me

Eeh-eeh-eeh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

You're the only one of you

Baby, that's the fun of you

And I promise that nobody's gonna love you like me-e-e"..............

 The song was soon officially released by the music company and the audience loved it and your work was done for the moment and now you could focus on the trip. All of a sudden you were really feeling excited about the whole thing. You and Z were constantly texting each other to plan about the journey.

 The day arrived and you met Z at the airport. "So ready for the battle?" she chuckled. You rolled your eyes and laughed "going on a battle would have been much easier compared to this I guess" but in your mind you were confident. Yes you had finally decided that you're ready to face Tom Holland to show him that you have also moved on. And to show him that he'll never find another like you.

 The nine hour flight was uneventful as both you and Z slept most of the time which proved that you both were in dire need of a vacation away from your hectic glamorous lives.

 It was around 5 ‘o’ clock in the morning in London when your plane landed. Both of you collected your check in luggages. Check out was hassle free as it was early morning with few people around and nobody recognised you as both of you were in your hoodies. As you came out of the exit door you started to look amongst the crowd and finally you saw those familiar icy blue eyes approaching towards you.

 “Ah!! Finally the star arrived” Harrison hugged you tight

“And all credit goes to you Z because our star has stopped listening to her best friend may be got someone else to replace me” he hugged zendaya and started laughing

“getting rid of you has been one of the failures of my life" you pouted

 "Ouch!" Harrison dramatically placed his hands on his chest as if hurt.

 "No one can ever replace you from my life you idiot" you lightly punched his arm.

 Harrison chuckled and said with a fake French accent "I m your chauffeur for the day, madame your car awaits at the parking lot."

 After you three put all your luggages in the car. Z and you sat at the back seat and Harrison sat on the driver's seat as he started the car. It was an approximate four hour ride to his beach house.

 " You know Haz I really missed the summer in London so glad I said yes to your plan."

 "The only thing I liked about London when I came for Spiderman:FFH shoot is the Harry Potter museum" Zendaya declared

 You noticed Harrison looked a little off today so you asked "you look a little bit stressed out Haz what's the matter bud?"

 "How do you read my mind so easily?" Harrison sighed.

 "I'm your best friend dumbo now tell me what is the thing that is bothering you so much?" you said with concern in your voice.

 "Okay I need to say you something, just don't be mad Tom will be bringing his fiancee too at the beach house. But don't worry everything will be fine I promise."

 Your face went expression less as you looked at Harrison then to Zendaya. You were starting to panic from inside. You let out a sigh and rolled your eyes as you leaned on Zendaya's shoulder. She rubbed your shoulder to comfort you as you thought in your mind "what a great start to this cursed trip."

..................................................................................

Taglists:If you want to be added send in an ask i will be happy to add you.

@sophs-library

[quirkdotcom]

Where To? || Kaminari x Reader

Summary: Denki Kaminari has been working with the League of Villains for the school year. He's been putting up a front and fake personality to keep his secret safe. However, the one thing he didn't count on was you. In the end, Kaminari has been found in a pond, one hand from Shigaraki in his clutches.  The twist on this world? Like a popular tik tok trend, when you die, someone you have hurt the most comes to decide if you go to heaven, or hell. And you are his judge.

Warnings: Death

Authors Note: I honestly started this at like 3AM one night and now here I am 😳 Anyways, I hope you guys like it sorry for the angst that comes with it

Tags: @ijustwannachangemyuser @bluewritesmha @that-lowkey-weeb @pinkcowgirleggpanda  

One moment ago, you had been sitting in class, with the rest of 1A as they grieved together over the loss of Denki Kaminari.

Two moments ago, Aizawa was explaining how he had just received a call that Denki had been found, alone in a lake,  his quirk the ultimate cause. But one other important piece of evidence with him, a hand from Tomura Shigaraki.

Three moments ago, he had been explaining about Kaminari being the traitor of UA,  working closely with the League of Villains.

But now, you were standing across Kaminari in the same pond that he had been found in, an electrical current dying out as his cries stopped, his eyes finding yours.

"(Y/n)?" His voice was hoarse, eyes red and puffy. 

You looked around, fog rolling in around your legs, though you couldn't feel the water that looked to surround you, nor the fog.

"So...the rumors are true...I didn't think that'd I'd have to decide anyones fate so soon but…" 

"Wait...does that mean.." he started, but the words fell short, his amber eyes looking around once more. 

"You've died…"

"Then that means, " he turned in a circle, shaking his head quickly, "He...he got away!" 

You stepped closer to him, in response, he stepped away, "No! (Y/n) you have to be quick, decide my fate! Warn Aizawa Sensei that the league is on their way!"

"But...I need time…" you pulled back, hand falling to your side. 

"Just choose hell and be on your way! Please!" He pleaded with you, still leaving an open space between the two of you. 

You stared at him incredulously, "Kaminari...thats...I'd be damning you!" 

"Maybe I deserve it!" He yelled, his frustration and hate taking over as he kicked his foot, creating a wave of water that didn't touch you.

"All I ever did was pretend to be an idiot and betray everyone around me! And now you're here, and I have hurt you one more time!" His hands shook as he held them up, staring at them as they flickered with electricity.

"I sold everyone out each time. He asked me questions and without fail I gave them to him." 

You shook your head, "Come on...there had to have been a reason! Tell me that he was pressuring you or that he had some way of manipulating you!" 

His hands slowly turned to fists as he dropped them to his sides, "You don't get it! I faked everything!  I pretended about everything! I made friends in order to keep my cover safe! I even.. I even started to date you to keep my cover safe! So just hurry up and choose hell and go be a hero!" 

You stood quietly, his words like knives digging into your heart, creating chasms of heartache. Hot tears filled your eyes, you could barely wipe them away in time for them to be replaced with new ones, "That's..that's not true! Don't say it!" 

"(Y/n)!"

"No! Stop it! I won't believe it! I'm the one who gets to make the decision! Don't try to lie to me, I know what I felt and who I was with! You aren't like that!" 

At once, everything grew silent, neither of you saying a word more. 

Instead, you were reflecting. 

"(Y/L/N) was it? Im Denki, Denki Kaminari! Hero name Chargebolt ! Aizawa seated you next to me, so that means we're going to be good friends, maybe more if you catch my drift," 

You turned to the guy in the seat next to yours, immediately smiling and shaking your head, "Pfft wow! Are you trying to make a move on me already! I just transferred into the class literal minutes ago!"

"Hey what can I say, if I don't do it now, then the others might beat me to it," he flashed a wink your way, earning another chuckle from you. 

"Well, it's nice to meet you Kaminari, hopefully you help keep this class interesting," you held your hand out to him, watching as he shook it. 

"Sooo does this mean I've been friend zoned?" 

You didn't answer, only leaving him to guess as to what your answer was. 

"You...you were the first to welcome me into the class...even if you did hit on me right away. " You smiled softly, that memory of him had always been oddly charming to you.

"Because I had to keep my persona up," 

"You walked me to my next class, and any that we shared. You helped me befriend Mina, Sero, Kirishima, Jirou and even Bakugo…" 

"I already told you! I had to make sure no one questioned me or my actions!" 

"The second day that I had been in that class, at lunch, I had forgotten mine...so you gave me half of yours…and told me that if it happened again, you'd share any day," 

He didn't say anything for a moment, smiling before he did say something, "Sero called me a simp…" 

That day still felt so familiar to you….

"Oh no…." You looked around the table, seeing that the others, who's names you were still trying to learn, had all brought their lunches.

"What is it (Y/L/N)?" Came the pink haired girl, who's bubblegum skin matched in such a pretty shade. She looked so concerned for you, even if she didn't know you all that well.

You let out a sheepish laugh, "Ahh I forgot my lunch…this morning I was in a rush…" 

"Hey! Have some of mine!" Kaminari grinned, pushing his towards you, "We can split it!" 

You turned to him, mouth open a little as you were caught off guard, "Wait really??" 

"Yeah! And if it happens again, I'll share my lunch again! You can count on me,"

From across the table, the black haired boy, who had a contagious smile, coughed loudly, or cleared his throat, you weren't fully sure

After that, lunch had went by so smoothly, as if you had been friends with them for years. 

"And later that day, you even gave me your number! " he sat down, the pond water now going up to his stomach. Though, like you, he couldn't feel it. Whatever cold that seeped its way into his body, was long gone. 

You nodded, following suit and taking a seat, though you didn't look at the water too much, it was cloudy and murky, something you hated about lakes and ponds, "Yeah, and you sent me memes, even in class!" 

"Well, I wanted to see you smile…" 

"I know…" 

But perhaps the memory you would hold dearest to you, was one that he had tried so hard to block out as he worked with the League. 

The UA Winter Formal...just a few months after you had transferred into UA. The crew in charge of decorations had outdone themselves.

What was once the cafeteria, was now a room beautifully lit by fairy lights and pale blue lanterns. There were silky streamers hung across the room, catching the reflection of the lights off of them.  At the front, Present Mic was behind a dj booth, a line of students waiting to ask for a song to queued.

You walked further in, trying to spot anyone you knew.

Currently, you were dressed in a very light shade of yellow, so delicately pale that in this lighting, it would be mistaken for white. 

"(Y/n)! Over here!" Came the call from Kirishima, waving you over.

"Kiri! You look so manly! And Bakugo, I didn't think you'd actually show up!" You grinned as you walked up, earning a 'thanks' from Kiri and a scowl from Bakugo.

For the next few moments, you exchanged compliments with Mina and Jirou, and then joked with Sero. 

But when that all came to an usual stop, you realized what was missing, well..who was missing.

 "Where's Kami?" You asked, having to raise your voice slightly over the music. 

Bakugo turned to you, thinking back for a moment, "Dunce face said something about feeling claustrophobic or whatever, he said he'd be in the hall? I'm surprised you didn't see him on your way in," 

You nodded slowly, humming in return, "ah thanks," You left after that, making your way around the groups of people, waving as you could hear your name from some friends. 

As you reached the entrance once again, you looked up and down the hall, spotting him a ways away by a window, wearing black slacks, a white undershirt and black suspenders, his blazer hanging off his arm loosely, he had a tie on, a darker shade of red. 

"Kaminari! Hey!" You called, making your way over until you stood a foot away, "Why are you all the way out here?" 

"It was hot and stuffy in there, I needed some fresh air...and I was waiting to see if I could spot someone on their way in," 

Again Kaminari flashed a dazzling smile at you. And suddenly, your breath hitched in your throat, cheeks heating up.

Your stomach filled with dainty butterflies and you're pretty sure your heart stopped beating. 

What was going on?? Were you...crushing? But there's no way….

Sure Kaminari tended to flirt with you, and you always laughed at his jokes and smiled at him whenever he smiled at you.

And sure, sometimes when he handed you something your hand would brush his and you'd think about it for a few moments .

 And then there was that time when you were paired up in hero training, and you almost fell off a building in the city area, and then he pulled you back and basically hugged you because you were scared and then later on that was all you could think of.

...okay yeah you were definitely crushing but why did it have to act up now ?!

"Uhh…(Y/n)??? Earth to (Y/n)?"

 You blinked, looking back to Kaminari, who was now fully facing you instead of the window, "Sorry! I uh, spaced out there…"

"It's okay! I'm used to seeing you space off,  you do it often," Denki laughed, only furthering the complicated feelings you were having.

"I don't do it too often…" you gave a small smile, knowing full and well that you ventured into wonderland quite often.

 "Hey, (Y/n)...do you want to dance by any chance? Right here? I can still kind of hear the music," 

You gave a startled look, eyes wide as you took in what he said, but you quickly changed to a smile, "Yes! I'd love that!"

At your approval, Denki gently wrapped his arms around your waist,  pulling you closer to him, almost stealing away all the air from your lungs.

 You looked up to him, your hands moving up to circle around his neck loosely.

God he was so pretty. Even just the light that streamed in from the window seemed to make his eyes sparkle with their golden color.

 "What are you doing?" He murmured, gazing back into your own eyes, an amused smile played out onto his face.

You shook your head quickly, looking down and away, words caught in your throat.

 "(Y/n)...look at me," 

A hand moved away from your hip, gentle fingers cupping your face as he turned you to look at him. 

You weren't sure how it happened...but in a fleeting moment, he had kissed you. At this point, you weren't sure if the tingles running throughout your body were caused by you, or him. 

He pulled away for a breath with a smile, and you pulled him back for another kiss, an overwhelming feeling of happiness washing over you. 

After that, you both had left from the dance, and enjoyed the rest of the night together, watching movies and playing video games. It was the beginning of your relationship. 

"Denki.. whatever the reason for this...I know you aren't a villain. You're Denki Kaminari, the student who offered me lunch on my second day. You're the student who saw a general education kid crying and joked with them to make them feel better!" 

"(Y/n)..." 

"And you're the one who I..who I love okay? So stop trying to make me hate you! " 

His eyes went wide, filling with more tears. You rushed to him through the mucky water, grasping him. You clutched at his clothes starting to cry with him.

"I love you so much and I'll always love you, I swear!" You buried your head into his neck, feeling him hold onto you just as tightly as you were holding onto him. 

"(Y/n) I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry. I want more time with you, I want to spend life with you. Im sorry fuck..I love you so much. You're the reason I'm even here! Shigaraki was planning on attacking the school and he threatened you and I panicked and I tried to shock him and..and...the water here...I wasn't thinking," he started to work himself into a panic.

You stroked his hair, shushing him gently until you both calmed down enough.  

Finally, he looked to you, amber eyes red and puffy just as you had found him, and asked with a sad smile, "So...where to?" 

You shook your head, tears still falling as you kissed his forehead, the water and the area around you falling away, "I think we both know.."

[reimeichan]

It is 3am gonna try to answer this as well as I can. Disclaimer that this is all anecdotal experiences.

1. Absolutely yeah, some systems are very switchy, some rarely switch, and most fall somewhere in between.

2. Yes, I've met trans systems with alters that identify with their AGAB. I've met cis systems with alters that are not their AGAB. I've met nonbinary systems with alters that have a binary understanding of their gender. Alters and systems can come in any gender presentation combination.

3. Yes, though they will not have the life experience of someone who is actually that age.

4. My system has protector alters who are littles. I know of plenty of other systems like this too.

5. Varies from system to system, but typically an alter tends to switch in due to being triggered to front, the fronting alter being triggered out of front and thus someone else needing to take their place, or, with practice and better communication, it's possible to learn how to switch in and out at will without triggers.

6. For us, rapid switching may happen when we become destabilized (usually due to high emotions, being tired, stressed, or any combination of the above) and so our brain ends up trying to shove whoever it can to front to deal with whatever is happening. Sometimes, it's because nobody wants to be in front but we need *somebody* to be present. Sometimes it's because we're so ungrounded nobody can stay in front for an extended period of time.

7. Absolutely. There's no time limit to how long an alter can stay in front. And similarly, there's no time minimum (alters may be in front for less than a second, as an example).

8. It really depends on what you define as a "dissociative episode" and from who's perspective. For example, if I (Pink) am nowhere near front while Purple and Green have control of our body, and then switch in later, that may feel like a "dissociative episode" even though for Pink and Green that was very much not dissociative at all.

9. I'm a polyfragmented system so this answer may be different from smaller systems. For us it just kinda feels like we go back into "default mode" when we switch back to our host. We don't always have a memory gap in a blackout-amnesia way. Sometimes we know generally what happened when the other alter was in front but may not remember details. Sometimes we may not remember until much later, when the memory is shared (and yes, memory sharing is absolutely possible). Sometimes we just have a blank spot but may not even realize we forgot something until someone asks us about that specific time period and we realize that memory is missing.

10. Yep. Our alters are often chattering away in the background, either to each other or just processing their own things.

11. I haven’t formally heard of back-seating, but it sounds similar to co-consciousness. Co-fronting is when two or more alters have control over the body at the same time; this may be the alters blending to work seemlessly as one (kinda like a temporary fusion), or alters having control over different parts of the body (most common for us is one alter is talking while another alter may be doing something else with our hands). Co-consciousness is when there are alters who are at least partially aware of what is going on externally in the body but are not actively controlling it. Co-consciousness can sometimes be felt when another alter is talking to the fronting alter, either telling them what to do, giving advice, comforting, demeaning them, making random comments, etc.

12. It honestly depends on the alter and the system. Some alters may truly not know who they are talking to after a switch. Some may feel like the person they are talking to is familiar but may not remember exactly who it is. Some may know who they're talking to but have a completely different relationship/emotional attachment to the person.

13. Yes, absolutely. This tends to cause a lot of conflicts within systems; a lot of systems have to learn how to work together and listen to each other despite hating each other.

14. There is no specific criteria for what is considered "enough" to cause DID. Trauma is trauma, what was traumatic to one person may not be traumatic to someone else.

15. DID needs to have developed within an individual by the age of 5-9 though may happen anytime before then. The child will have an unstable and traumatic life where they rely on dissociation in order to cope and get through their day to day life. I cannot tell you how it feels developing DID compared to how it feels not developing DID, but it's a lot of turmoil and a lot of emotions and a lot of not letting yourself feel those emotions so you end up numb and a lot of pushing away yourself and a lot of not letting you develop a sense of self. Symptoms may not arise for many years; most people aren't diagnosed until their adulthood.

16. I'll provide some examples for how alters may be triggered, but this is by no means an exhaustive list. An alter may be triggered when they feel that they are in danger and thus need to keep themselves out of danger. An alter may be triggered when they hear someone yelling at them, feel scared, and want to run away. An alter may be triggered because something reminded them of an incident in the past that traumatized them and end up in a flashback episode. An alter may be triggered because they were offered their favorite food and they really want to eat it. An alter may be triggered because they heard a song they heavily associate with. An alter may be triggered because of specific cues used by their abuser trained to bring out specific behaviors which this alter exhibits. An alter may be triggered out because they heard their name. An alter may be triggered out because they're feeling a strong emotion and need to let it out. And any of these could apply to protectors, trauma holders, or littles, or any other alter role.

I wanted to educate myself more about DID, so I wanted to ask some questions I have about it to further understand what it’s like. I do not have it myself so I will word these in a way to avoid accidentally offending anyone or any confusion:

Is it possible for someone diagnosed with DID to not regularly switch alters? Like almost little to no switches

Do some systems with a trans host have alter(s) that are their AGAB and vice versa?

Is it possible for a system to have an alter that’s much older than the host, like 30-40+ years old or older?

Is the protector alter usually near the age of the host or is it possible for a protector to also be a little/young alter, or are little alters usually not protectors?

How can an alter switch? Are they triggered by an external trigger or switch whenever they want?

How does rapid switching happen?

Can an alter front for more than one day?

Does a dissociative episode happen every time a switch happens or only sometimes, or is it also sometimes immediate?

How does an alter switch back to the host? And I’ve heard that when an alter fronts, the host has a gap in their memory from the time the alter was fronting. Does that memory gap ever get filled or is it just never told to you?

Do the alters share information with other alters if they aren’t fronting? And can they talk in the background like a subconscious? (It’s a silly question but I’m just curious)

What is backseating and co-fronting (I think that’s what it’s called) and what does it feel like?

If the host meets someone like a friend while fronting and a switch happens, does the alter recognize/know who the person is, or do they think they’re a stranger, since it wasn’t them who met them?

Can an alter(s) dislike/hate another alter/the host and does it cause any problems with the system?

What type of trauma usually causes DID? Can it be any physical/emotional/SA related event or does it usually affect a specific type? (Sorry if this question is worded poorly)

How quickly does DID start developing and what does it feel like when it first starts?

How is a protector alter triggered? How is a trauma holder triggered? How is a little alter triggered?

If anyone can help educate me on this topic I’d really appreciate it! Feel free to put your answer under a read more

[thestarssystem]

aa hello i've written this like 10 times but it always got extremely long so i'm gonna try to keep it shorter hdbznj also i just wanted to say its okay, take ur time ! i hope u had a nice time on ur break :] also i'm glad you're fine with these asks cause i always end up rambling and stuff that makes the asks really long dgzbzj

i've been thinking about the possibility of a persecutor as well, but i wasn't really sure because i was like "why would the first alter that i directly hear/that presents themself to me be a persecutor" so ty for the response :]

& the thing about giving away information would make sense, the panic specifically started when i was feeling very ,, apathetic but on the upset scale? if that makes sense? and wanted to vent about it on a subreddit about venting, and i don't even remember what caused the panic, but i assumed it was either a. i started getting memories of the events i was trying to vent about (emotional flashback?) or b. it was just social anxiety acting up again because i knew i would do as much as writing it all out but i would never post it, but i think it could've been a mix of both + what you suggested (also quick note: when someone called me fox they also said stuff like their dms are open if i need to vent etc etc and i don't exactly remember what caused the panic to spike there? but i think i was just happy-ish someone cared and then i think something else happened in my mind that could've influenced me in a bad way (e.g self h4tred) but honestly i don't remember </3)

but another thing is, i've done that a bunch of times. for example i post neg posts / vents / rants a lot sometimes on a different website (on an account where i feel comfortable on, though i always delete them like 6 seconds later) and i posted one on the same subreddit on friday because i was panicking, i barely remember what happened when i was panicking though, and i kind of blocked everything out because i was too focused on the trigger (school). the voice hasn't been back for a while now so i'm starting to think it could've just been my imagination? though it could've been i'm just not able to hear it anymore / before that, or that it's not always there (which might/probably is the case if it wasnt me imagining stuff)

also, i have a few questions if thts okay :]

this might be a weird question, but is it normal to like- have a good relationship with alters almost right away, despite the fact it's your first time directly interacting? or have alters front even though you've never heard them / they've never interacted with you? i know those are two very contradicting statements, though i have no idea how to explain it further </3

one last thing: yesterday i had like 2 mental breakdowns because i got triggered by some stuff and i was up until like 3am (i went to bed at exactly 4am) and i did some stuff like switching up my profile, i was really tired and had been d1ssociating for hours after i got triggered. when i woke up today, and went on my profile, it all felt very ,, weird? like, it kind of caught me off guard when i realized my profile was different because i barely had memory of doing so (i could recall it though, it was just very very fuzzy and in one of them i felt like i wasn't even the one doing it). i just wanted to ask, could the d1ssociation have caused that, or is that just a normal thing for when you're tired?

sorry i didn't want to send just a regular update on things so i waited a bit until i had questions shxbxj hope you're doing well :]

- fox (i was a bit anxious because it was getting long so i kept them a bit short, so if u need me to elaborate on any of these i'd be glad to! i don't mind /gen)

oo wait i really quickly wanna make a small suggestion to you. Just something that we do a lot! If you have snapchat, i suggest creating a private story with yours as the only account that can see it and just use that to rant! It makes it easier to document for later (if you want) but also keeps it private and allows you to rant about what you’re feeling and get that nice moment of release haha.

Anyway, on to your actual questions:

So I would say that a lot of the time, it’s normal to not have a good relationship with alters right away. A lot of the time they’re kind of like strangers and you have to take the time to get to know them and be friends with them. For my system, we didn’t know of each other until we started talking about OSDD, but now I would consider most of us friends haha. Also, the first time that Daniel fronted was completely out of the blue. Granted, we didn’t know OSDD/DID at this point but there wasn’t even a slight sign that he was there haha. I would say that’s also fairly common. Maybe because they don’t want to talk to you, don’t need to talk to you, or are just too nervous to talk to you before hand.

Just normal dissociation could have caused the foggy memory about your profile, but the lack of sleep definitely didn’t help lol. When the brain is sleep deprived, it doesn’t have the energy to encode actions into memory like it normally. This is completely normal and happens all the time to people who are sleep deprived. However, dissociation (even without a switch) can also cause that weird “hazy” feeling. Because dissociation (without switches) normally causes a person to feel disconnected from themselves and from reality, it can cause processing of those memories to be a little wonky at times. In this state, you can still remember vaguely what happened, but may not recognize it as your own.

Also, you don’t have to worry about the length of your asks, Fox c: If you need more space to write then write your heart away. I’ll still give the same attention to your asks, regardless of length.

Stay safe xx

-Clover

[shesawriter39049]

CV SQUAD PT.1 (M)

Podcast host/Youtuber/Influencer BTS & OC

CV SQUAD TAKE: MIAMI,NEW YORK, LONDON, LA

CV SQUAD TAKE MIAMI- PART 1 OF 2

WARNINGS:(There’s both some M/F & M/M smuttyness in here so I’ll let you find out which warnings apply to who) Some hand fun,Hella dirty talk, cum play, spit play, light choking, public sex, light mirror kink ,a ton of teasing between all 8 “Characters” All the boy’s are Bi in this BTW . Tatted and Pierced BTS (Not all but most)

JIMIN/OC MAIN FOCUS OT7 SUBFOCUS (MXM/MXF) 

In this part Hoseok/Yoongi have a bigger roll in my opinion but again there all in it a ton 

There is a lot of dialog in this one but it’s needed…I’m introducing 8 people sooooo lol

9.7 K

AU SUMMARY : The “CV SQUAD” is made up of Jimin,YN, Namjoon, Yoongi, and Kookie a group of friends who run a podcast called “Candid Vibes” . That was created initially for a media arts project,in college which is actually how they all met! Now fast forward a good 4 years, a YT channel and millions of listeners later..and we have the CVSQUADTOUR.  A four city tour spanning over 16 days, with guest appearances from some of their good friends over at “TEAMJTH” AKA Jin, Taehyung,and Hoseok. Follow along to get the full candid behind the scenes access to everything that takes place over the next 2 weeks, including the moments there definitely going to edit out of the tour vlogs!!!  P.S the full backstory will be linked at the end!

***This is happening in real time, so in some scenes if there’s a [C] in front of the person dialog that means there talking into the camera. Or if it says [FILMING] that means there in shot but not talking directly to the camera***

****Wednesday July 4th, 5:45 AM,Valencia, CA -CV SQUAD HOUSE (Tour starts on the 5th in Miami) ***

“Ah fuck!!” A loud grumbled leaves Yoongi's chest as he sets the camera on the kitchen counter, ruffling his hands through his faded ice blue locks, readjusting his oversized cat eye glasses on his face before pushing the record button.

[C] “Aye, goodmorning guys, it’s ughhh fuck, 5:45 which is why the lighting probaly sucks in addition to the fact that I’m not Jungkook! Sooo as you guys know we all went out last night with the guys over at TEAMJTH, for a pre-tour dinner thing, which started at 7:30 but Y/N and Jimin didint get there till like 8 which, what the fuck else is new.” Letting out a slow exhale as his body just slouched along the back counter, taking a sip of coffee before continuing his thought.

[C] “ Well, Jin and I were the first to leave around, like 11:30 ish and I had the displeasure of spending the night here, because that’s the only way I’d ensure these asshats woke up on time. And  when I got up this morning my phone said the last time the alarm went off was a little after 3AM..and again it’s 5:45 and I’m about to go wake them up because come look at this shit!“  Turning the camera away from his face to let it lead the way down the hallway and into the PR room, or “Hell” as Yoongi called it .

There was a room on the first floor that was originally meant to be a “parlor” but obviously that's not anything the 4 of you would need or want! So it was turned into the PR closet, as you guys were always being sent items to review, or even paid to post about it. It only took one of you missing an ad that couldve made you an easy 3k to realize this shit needed to be kept out of your bedrooms until the job was done. So inteased you have a room filled with numerous clothing racks and boxes, separated by CV member!  But it was also where all of your luggage was sitting and it barely looked liked you guys were packed, or at least not 16 days worth!

Letting the camera pan the room as he let out an exasperated sigh, even in the dim lighting only fueled by the numerous neon signs along the walls it was still clear this room was a hot ass mess.

[C] “Can we all take a moment to appreciate the site in front of us, that is without a doubt bullshit!” Panning the camera over to the right, zooming in slightly, on all of your half-assed excuse for packing. “Yeah, so on that note, were gonna walk down the hall and wake up Jimin first, and then make our way upstairs to get everyone else.”

Making his way down a long dark hallway before making a right to head to Jimin’s room, until he hears an almost animalistic noise coming from the opposite direction. Heading to the laundry room instead only to find Jungkook, snoring,with his mouth open, on a bean bag chair..with a bag of chocolate covered lays to his right.

There was a very long pause, as the camera pans between Kookie and Yoongi, before his eyes flutter shut, holding the bridge of his nose between his index and thumb.

[C] “Ya know, sometimes...I just really don’t know what my life is….I really, really don't….” reaching down to shake Jungkook “Hey, hey,HEY! Kookie! Dude whyyyyyyy !? What are you doin on the floor in here of all places?” Pausing momentarily honestly hoping for an answer than even made a fragment of sense.  Instead he was greeted with a displeased grumble as kookie attempted to readjust on the oversized bean bag chair .

[C] “Nooo no, no up! Get up, go shower, and finish packing NOW! You got like an hour and 7 minutes. And then your taking this damn camera back because I hate this thing! ”

The tone alone has the younger abiding Yoongi’s orders, far too tired to argue anyway slowly rolling off the floor, grabbing his chips in the process. Managing to get chocolate all over the collar of the white “OFF white” Jacket he slept in. While Kookie slugged his way out of the laundry room, still whining like a bart in the process.

Quickly whipping out his phone to check Jungkooks IG, letting out a relieved sigh at his last 3 posts which all had well over 600k likes. But more importantly Jungkook posted the sponsored post, prior to ruining the jacket...and that’s all that mattered!

[C] “One down..two to go….”

What he actually meant was Yoongi didn't need to wake up was Namjoon, well aware that he was already up and well…..that’s because that's whose room he started and woke up in himself….

Finally heading back to his initial mission, Jimin, turning in the opposite direction, making a right, then walking down four very random stairs that lead to his bedroom . Two black framed french doors sat cracked, the room initially was a sunroom converted to a bedroom because Jimin wanted to be on the first floor and the guest room “wouldn’t even hold my shoes “. So this was the alternative...

Upon opening it he finds the both of you in bed together, but there's nothing even remotely sexual about this if anything it’s comical. Both fully dressed, like shoes and all, how you managed to sleep in that skin tight hot pink body con dress, that barely looked like you had room to breathe is besides me. The upper half of your body was almost hanging half off his california king while Jimin’s foot was damn near in a ballerina point. Evident even through his leather dress boots, neck stretched so far to the side it was almost on his night stand. One hand draped over your hip while the other hung off the bed.

[C] “Why am I not even remotely surprised at this point!?.” A combination of frustration and amusement laced within his voice as he slumped to the ground. Letting a low cackle rupture through his throat, as he still tried to keep his voice at a whisper. Only standing in the door frame at this point. “ I swear I don’t get paid enough for this…..” Walking over to turn on the lights, but unfortunately Jimin only had mood lighting so the dim aesthetic really did nothing to stir the two of you.

Flipping the angle so the camera was facing him again before speaking into it at a hushed tone [C]“Offf course this boy has strip club hoe lighting to go with his damn silk curtains because why wouldn't he! Alright guys’ Imma set this camera on the nightstand, because these two are damn near comatose, and I need two hands for this!  I’m not sure how much footage you will or won't get but I really need to get them up so blame Kookie for also being hungover if this parts shitty!”

At this point because of where the camera was sitting you could only see the bottom of the bed , but it was picking up the conversation taking place above it.

Yoongi reached over readjusting your body on the bed only causing you drape your arms around him in attempts to pull him in “No, no, no..Y/n get up..” Shaking your body until your eyes fluttered, making your roll over closer to Jimin, who welcomed you with no hesitation even in his sleep, always a cuddler even in the platonic sense.

“Alright fuck this..” Hopping on the bed between the two of you, shaking you both until your eyes fluttered open. Jimin’s even puffer than usual from lack of sleep, slipping into complete slits in his face. You weren't doing any better, suddenly your lash extensions felt like bricks hanging on your lids, as you struggled to keep your eyes ajar.  A loud screech comparable to banche left your throat as you stretched,managing to crack a few bones in the process… “Yo, it’s like 5 to 6...you two need to shower and finish packing,private or not we still gotta go through TSA, and you know how LAX is...we need to be outta here by 8! Let’s get movin!!” He was far from yelling but there was no room for debate within the leverage he held as he spoke.

Rolling over to your side, resting your hand on your temple, eyes zoning in on a very faint mark behind Yoongi’s ear making your smirk slightly. “Where did you sleep last night?” Brow quirked at the sudden implied question, the devilish grin on your face transferring to jimins as he ruffled his fingers through his long dark locks. Currently almost jet black, parted messily down the middle with a couple pieces falling in his face framing that lethal jawline of his! Kicking off his shoes and unbuttoning his white dress shirt, leaving his toned caramelized abdomen on display. Giving you a sneak peek at the roses that danced along his ribcage, as he readjusted next to you on the bed.

“Yeah Yoongi where did you sleep last night hmm? Needed a little stress reliever before tour even starts aye?” The playful yet taunting tenor in Jimin's voice eared an eye roll and middle finger from Yoongi.

“Fuck you both, I slept in the guest room thank you very much!” Snapping back with a snarl, while the two of you instantly exchanged glances, eyes meeting and rolling in the same direction simultaneously.

“Really!?” The word left both of your lips in unison, dry as all hell, as you tried to ease off the bed, your hangover knocking you right on your ass. Literally, plopping  back down next to jimin, causing him to smile over at you fondly, stroking the side of your jaw. The contrast of the metal from his rings soothing your skin, nuzzling your face slightly into his palm.

The tone in both of your voices screamed “BULLSHIT”! There were things that happened every once in a while that were kept on the DL, even within the squad ,typically never confirmed or denied, just forever the butt of every, inside joke.

“How the fuck would either of you know different? Your drunk ass couldn't even make it upstairs!” The words slipped from his lips so effortlessly it was like he was already prepared for the two of you to give him that reaction.

“Bitch” Bringing your hand down to meet his ass, as he rolled off the bed smaking it so hard your palm burned from the impact. Earning a low hiss to leave his throat, a noise that was secretly pleasing to both Jimin and yourself if were being honest.

“No, but  I’m serious, you two up! Up!” Shoeing his hands in your direction .

Jimin hopped off the bed first, throwing his shirt on the floor “For once, the little grimiln over there actually has a method to his madness, we need to get moving princess..” Abruptly grabbing you off the bed and throwing you over his shoulder before walking towards the door.

“Hey I heard that! You little shit!” Yoongi aimed a pillow at Jimin but considering he’s not even remotely athletic it landed on your ass instead! Earning a loud squeal from the sudden change of, well shit everything as now you're literally staring at the ground and his ass, in these skin tight leather pants.

The minute the two of you made it into the hallway and he walked up those 4 steps it was game over. All Yoongi could hear from inside Jimin’s bedroom was you literally screaming “Park, down,now put me down I’m literally going to throw up put me down!!”

Picking the camera off the nightstand as he plopped back down on Jimin’s bed , head jerking suddenly from the feeling of something rolling out of the pillowcase. Only to find it’s a bottle of lube, quickly looking at the brand before giving what appeared to be an approving nod, throwing it to the side before bringing the camera up to his face.

[C] “Well ladies and gentlemen..this is gonna be...interesting..to say the least..I’mma go make my rounds, make sure everyone is actually up. Make sure Y/N didn't puke in the damn hallway, I also need to check in with our boys over at TEAMJTH. I’m sure Jin’s the only coherent one, I know they were all over here at some point and I have no idea what time they left!” Pausing to pull his phone out of his pocket, letting his thumb hover over Jin’s contact.

[C] “ Maybe I’ll be somewhat nice and make a starbucks run….meh will see how I feel.But yeah, will check in once Kook’s sober so he can film because I’m sure this was a shit show! So on that note..I’m out! Peace!!”

~~~~~~

“How you wanna do this ?” Voice sitting barley above a whisper as he stroked your cheek, while you sat on the ground of the 1st floor guest bathroom. Hair all tousled to the right as your head rested on your arm, which was still braced along the toilet seat. A warm rag coming up to grace the back of your neck “You wanna shower here or go upstair-” cutting him off with a nod before he could even finish his thought. Needing to sit in the humidity before you even tried to walk upstairs. Nodding quickly before walking behind you to turn the shower up,  stepping out into the hallway to grab a towel.

“Someone slept in her makeup…” Tisking lowly as he placed the towel on the counter, before walking back out into the wall.

“Fuck, yeah I know thank god my skin is damn near bullet proof or else I’d be fucked, remind me to never drink on a stomach fuled by soley the dessert menu! “ Rolling your eyes in frustration at no one but yourself as you slowly got off the ground.Feeling slightly light headed in the process, pulling  your dress over your head. Only revealing a nude g-string, the dress was so tight you almost considered not wearing panties at all. As you stepped into the shower you heard the door open again, apparently he went to also grab you makeup wipes, only catching the tail end of your naked body as you disappeared behind the steamed glass.

Not even bothering to apologize because it wasn't the first time he’d seen you like that, sticking your head out the glass, extending your arms for the wipes, as you smiled over in his direction. “Thank you for taking care of my hungover ass…” Shooting him a lazy smile as you rested your head against the tile.

Returning the gesture with a slight bow of the head as he edged towards the door, “No need to thank me, I’mma go hop in the shower myself, I also sat some tylenol on the counter, but come find me if you need me okay?” The genuine care and concern in his voice forced you to give him a legit smile no matter how dead your body felt, Jimin was good people, you don’t meet a lot of them in this industry that’s for damn sure! Nodding in response, another thank you left your lips lightly before letting your body reunite with the steam.

“How’s she feelin?” Jimin heard Namjoon’s voice echo throughout the empty hallway , changing his direction from his bedroom over to the kitchen. Joon was standing behind the island shirtless, mixing together a protein drink, Jimin noticed the tripbod to his right that was holding his phone. Figuring he probably just filmed something, more than likely an instagram video. Shamelessly taking in Namajon’s honey dipped complexion, offset by his dark brows and ice blonde hair.

Joon went through phases were he choose to tone his body, always someone with a strong build so it didn't take much for him to build up muscle mass. In Jimin eyes he was the perfect combination of muscular yet soft all at the same time! A couple small tattoo’s dancing along his body, all quotes written in an old fashioned script. From various books, or artist that caught his attention, not one for random spur or the moment pieces they all held a lot of meaning!

A dimply smile pulled on Joon’s face as he observed the way the younger was damn near drooling “Thanks Chim, I’m glad your enjoying the progress I’m making at the gym” The smile quickly turned into a full blown smirk once he took in how red Jimin got, even though his tanned complexion.

Shaking his head lightly as he chuckled, slightly embarrassed, letting his eyes meet their freshly polished hardwood floors, before brining his gaze back to his elder. Raking his fingers through his hair before slowly letting them slide down his neck “What can I say, I appreciate the hard work that’s all...I know it’s not easy to stay committed!”Ending with a slight nod , that held equal amounts of sass and arrogance.

Strutting over to grab a seat in front of Namjoon “Are these any good, or are they just payin you well?”

A playful tenor rang through his voice as he recognized the very popular protein brand to his right. Finally putting two and two together, as far as his appearance and the tripod, he was clearly filming an AD for the company. Namjoon quirked his brow clearly not as amused as Jimin, while taking a sip, “Don”t try me, last I checked none of us were hungry enough to take a deal just because. We either actually like it or we don’t post about it..or did I miss something?”

Dropping his posture slightly, resting his chin on his knuckles as he locked his eyes with the younger Namjoon’s rebuttal had jimin throwing his hands up, waving his white flag immediately. “Touche, your right, your right! Lemme taste it..” He actually wasn’t asking more so demanding as he grabbed the cup, lacing his tongue around the straw before wrapping his lips around it.

Namjoon’s eyes narrowed into tiny slits at the sight, well aware of what this little shit was doing, making sure the diamond , from his piercing caught the end of the straw “Really? Is that what it is Park?”  Cocking his head to the side slightly, there was an air of amusement that danced along his face while Jimin faked innocence, earning an eye roll from namjoon while he stepped back relaxing against counter. Putting his full abdomen, V line and all on display, while his joggers sat dangerously low...I swear the two of them secretly got off on constantly tempting each other! Though in all honesty it was USUALLY always harmless and just playful, the four of you flirts by nature.

“So what time did you go to bed last night?” Jimin tried to play it cool but Namjon knew he was digging..trying to see if anything happened between him and Yoongi.

“Ugh, around 1, a little after Hoe-seok made an apperance….fuck, you two missed A LOT!”

“What? OH the lapdance!? Fuckkkk I know! That’s the last thing I remember looking at one my phone, just wait until drama channels get a hold of it, Next thing you know there engaged to be married! “ Jimin rolled his eyes annoyed at just the thought of how everything suddenly became an internet headline.Not that it’s ever stopped any of them from doing whatever they want, when they want!

There was suddenly a mischievous glint in Namjoon’s eyes before he shook his head “Nah, there was another lap dance, that hopefully isn't on anybody's snap chat…” .

Jimin’s brows furrowed in slight confusion, and annoyance at the way Namjoon was dragging this out “Just fuckin send it Joonie I don’t have all damn day!”

A snort left namjoon’s body as he dropped his head on the island before continuing “ Alright ,alright, so when  I got home, Kookie, Tae, Ryland, And morgan were chillin’ listening to The Weeknd doing jell-o shots. He was originally giving Morgan a lap dance,and like stripping and shit. Then I come in, we all know Hoseok can’t hold his liquor, I make a comment about his ass in those jeans he was wearing and the next thing I know he’s on my lap…and ugh, yeah...”

The hesitation as his jaw closed, let Jimin known there was more he wanted to say he just choose not too, now how much more is the question.

Jimin gazed back at him completely wide eyed, jaw damn near hanging to the floor, fuck what he would’ve given to be there for that!  “Careful you might catch something…” Joon teased as he took his phone off the tripod…”Fuck, it’s almsot 6:30 you need to get your ass in the shower before Yoongi cut’s your balls off , he just left, and he spent all morning bitching!”

“Ughhh, fine but were texting about this whole ..”dance” situation later because I got questions! Also when is Yoongi NOT bitching, you just love being his little helper huh? Such a good little boy for him aren't you Joonie!!” The taunting almost demeaning tone in Jimin’s voice had his blood boiling, brow quirked, jaw extremely tight. His lethal gaze was daring the younger to even think about saying another word!

Jimin was well aware if they did have sex theres no way in hell Namjoon was bottoming. So he was hoping if he struck a nerve Joon would correct him which would at least confirm if his suspicion of them hooking up in the past was right. But clearly Namjoon was a little too smart for that one…

“Nah, more like I just know how to keep my shit together so I don’t get bitched out, now how about you be a good little boy for your hyung and go take a shower yeah!?” Now it was Joon’s turn to taunt Jimin , his tone alone had jimin shifting in his seat, low, calm yet authoritative all at the same time. All of the boys were Korean-American, so there were obviously some cultural things that just weren’t done as often in america, and referring to your male elder as “Hyung” constantly was one of them. But considering Jimin can find a way to turn anything into a kink he already knew Jimin’s underwear we soaked on command!

Jimin exhaled deeply it was clear as day he was soooo damn annoyed “Sure, anything for you hyung…” Tone dry and snarky as all hell, adding a very condescending enfaces on the honorary as he hopped out the chair, making sure to sway in his skin tight leather pants as he exited the kitchen.

“That’s it, such a good boy for me Jiminie, such a good boy..” Namjoon coaxed with almost cynical smile, earning a very deserved dual middle finger from the younger as he fully exited the space.

~~~~~~

“Can you arch for me a little, a little more, a little..yesss just like that...just lean into it a little...perfect now stay like that for me…” If Yoongi didn't know any, he’d probably second guess himself before walking into this room. Actually he’s still second guessing himself, but to his pleasant surprise, it’s a photoshoot not an orgy! . As Jimin, Namjoon, and yourself, laid across your fluffy white couch in an obscene amount of Clavin Klein while Jungkook took pics for an IG post. With all the traveling you guys were about to be doing you just didn't trust yourself to get some of these AD’s up on time so you were trying to cram as much as you could! Forcing yourself to do your infamous “5 minute beat” but begging Kookie to edit the fuck outta these pic’s because you still felt like literal death!

Jimin, opting to go shirtless with the briefs peeked out from under the joggers, namjoon kept on a hoodie  leaving it completely unzipped, while you went for the short’s teasing a red and white thong above the waist band along with the matching bra. All of you going for variations of red, white, and blue due to the day at hand.

Rolling his eyes instantly at the sight in front of him “For your safety I really hope this means your all done packing and when the uber comes in 15 minues you’ll be ready to go!”  Setting down a tray of drinks and bagels, face hidden behind a pair of oversized designer shades. The low rasp in his voice let you know he was just exhausted as the rest of you, but you still had shit to do regardless!

“You reallllly have no faith in us!” You could literally hear the pout in Jimin’s voice without even looking.

“The outfits were sorted on racks, when our stylist and Sara were here yesterday we just ran out of time between that conference call and getting ready for dinner to pack it all. There really wasn't shit to do!” You perked up, with a shrug reaching up to grab the Lavender tea, typically a coffee person but you knew since you were sick this morning, and still felt a little off this one was for you! Reclining your  back into Namjoon’s chest slightly, while to stole your drink out of your hand, inviting himself to taste it.  Brining one hand over to soothe up and down your arm before having the nerve to pass your drink over to Jimin instead of returning it to you.

“Alright, and were sure?! Kookie, all your equipment, is packed, labeled, secured!?” Raising his glasses up to look the youngest in the eyes, that infamous chipmunk smile, meeting Yoongi’s glare.

“Yesss Yoongi, that stuff’s been backed, and double checked, it’s good, were good!!”

Stepping back slowly with a nod of approval, clearing his throat before speaking “Even though the four of you are going to be the cause of my premature aging, wrinkles and receding hairline...I just ugh, want you to know I’m honestly really proud of you guys!This was just some little bullshit project we did to pass trade school, in hopes of one day working in our field. And you guys managed to turn it into a career, we were just hoping to be able to do what we love without struggling now look  …” Pausing suddenly, you could hear his voice wavering, making you all equally teary eyed as this was NOT like Min Yoongi at all.

“For the record it’s the five of us, always has been, always will be, we wouldn’t have made it this far without you, hell we wouldn't have graduated without you honestly!” Jimin pipped in first, feeling the need to stroke his ego a little, even though he was speaking straight facts.

Yoongi was technically the eldest, and was wayyy better at managing the combination of partying and studying while living in LA! When you guys met originally 4 years ago , Yoongi was 21, Joon was turning 21, you were 20, Jimin was 19, and Kookie just turned 18. All at different walks in life, as you enrolled in this program for media arts just trying to turn your hopes into something feasible.

“Don’t ever forget that, Candid Vibes wouldn’t be what it is without you, and we love you too by the way, I think you were dancing around that phrase!” Smiling over fondly in Yoongi’s direction, as he tried to hide the smile moving up his face.

The three of you shared a quick glance before getting up to tackle Yoongi who gave a displeased grumped but you all knew he secretly loved it! Squeezing until his legs gave out and he was rolling around on the floor trying to break free.

“Alrigh, alright get the fuck off me!!!” Swatting in your direction. Face contorted in aggravation while the three of you cackled aimlessly honestly not even phased by him anymore. This was just the way he showed his love and you wouldn’t want it any other way!

“ While I go double check on the Ubers, quickly film your update for the CVSQUADTOUR IG account, and please just do another one over on your bags!”  There was a plea to his tone this time  as opposed to the normal hints of anger!

Jungkook mounted his phone on the tripod so you guys could film and the video could be uploaded directly after. Just a standard update, wishing them a happy and safe 4th of July,letting them know how excited you all were, and to keep following all of your socials for updates, and pop-up events blah blah blah!

2 UberXL pulled up, one solely for your luggage alone, the cars were also sponsored, the four of you used Uber on a weekly basis! The drive to the airport was damn near 40 minutes in traffic thank god you were flying private and the plane wasn't leaving until you got there. The 3 of you almost falling asleep the minute your bodies hit the seats, last night's festivities hitting all at once. While Yoongi made business calls making sure your house and other things were looked over while the four of you traveled. The only other girl on the team was Sara, who had the toughest job in your opinion, being your shared assistant. She left for Miami yesterday,since that’s where her girlfriend is for college, wanting a little personal time before you guys ran her ragged!

Amongst arriving at LAX a couple fans noticed you guys and of course you stopped taking pics outside and in the meantime the guys over at TEAMJTH pulled up!

[FILMING-THIS ENTIRE SECTION IS BEING FILMED CASUALLY PANNING BETWEEN ALL 10 MEMBERS WITH NO MAIN FOCUS]

Clearly they had a brand deal of their own, all of them in Tommy Hilfiger loungewear from head to toe, and they all looked damn good! Hoseok’s long burgundy locs messy pushed out of his face, while pitch black ray bans covered his eyes. His joggers were so damn tight you could damn near see the muscles flex as he walked. If you didn't know any better you’d think you were drooling, his toned arms fully exposed in his loose fitting white tank top, making his tan look even stronger.

“Jung fucking -Hoseok…” A low growl left Jimin’s throat he was standing right next to you as he said it, not even bothering to whisper, the two of you sharing a glance that read the same damn thing..this man  was fine as all hell!

While Taehyung trugged behind him, pulling a Jimin, as his hoodie sat slightly unzipped exposing his chiseled chest and the fact that he wasn't wearing a shirt, a couple thin chains dancing along his collarbone. His dark locks falling in his face from under his hood, this man had on looser fitting sweats, they were gray and he had on, no TYPE of underwear..none in site. Everything just slinging around as you walked.

“Oh fuck off…” You heard Junkgook whisper out to himself from behind the camera in a low almost aggravated tone at the site of Taehyung and you couldn't even blame him!

Last you had Jin in all black, fitted joggers and a pretty tight black tank top, and for the first time you realized how broad Jins shoulders were, and how nice this man’s arms were. His freshly touched up lavender locks bounced in the wind, offsetting the all balck outfit.

“Fuck..” left Nmajoon’s lips almost as if he was winded, at the sight of TEAMJTH approaching...yeah this was gonna ugh, be a fun little trip!!

All of the boys were openly Bi,as were you, there was no preference for any of you, you just liked who you liked. But something you‘ve noticed over the years is the 7 of them were a lot picker when it comes to their male counterparts.  Yet they seemed to fit each others criteria effortlessly

Hug’s and hello’s were exchanged, but it was clear all of you needed a damn nap, the energy level was at a negative 2 right now!

Hoseok draped his arm around your shoulder as you guys made your way through the airport, keeping your body close to his as he made casual conversation. Voice sitting exceptionally husky due to lack of sleep but fuck if it didint sound good.

[JK IS STILL FILMING JUST NOT THE TWO OF THEM]

The two of you waited while the others went into the gift shop for snacks neither of you could be bothered to move. Leisurely laying his arm around your waist pulling you in to snuggle into his chest amongst hearing you yawn, repeatedly. As they say yawns are contagious, the moment his neck reclined, and that sinfully chiseled jawline went ajar, the light reflected on a piece of metal that you‘ve never seen before.

“Holy shit….” Glancing up at him, almost wanting to die as those words physically left your throat instead of staying in your head! Bringing his gaze down to meet yours, brows furrowed in confusion.

“Oh I ugh-I just noticed your tong-” A smirk moved up his face cutting you off mid sentence as he licked his lips before slowly letting the long wet muscle fall from his lips, letting you get a full view. But you couldn’t help notice the shape of it seemed a little..different.

“I got it done almost 3 weeks ago, we've just been video conferencing for all these meetings so you haven’t noticed. This one vibrates when you push it..that’s why it’s a little bigger…” His voice dropped to an octave that made your pussy do the tightest kegal imaginable. The look on his face proved that was kinda what he was aiming for, loving the way your body shuddered against his own.

Your throat felt uncomfortably dry as you gazed up at him, his eyes were locked on yours...dead set on making you fall apart in his arms and it wasn’t taking much. Clearly the universe decide to help you out, as the rest of the group slowly trampled out of the store.  Jungkook leading the way from behind the lense. An almost arrogant smile curled up his face as he pulled back from you, easing back into casual conversation with the rest of the group.

~~~

[C] “Were walking through the airport….well fuck clearly you can see that, but were heading twoards the termal and I’m reallyyyy exicted!!” A squeak ruptured through your throat as you smiled over in Jungkook's direction. Jimin and Hoseok walking by in unison, fosseying there way towards the terminal Jazz hands, goofy ass expressions and all!

[C] “Kookie make sure you edit in some really dope Casey Neistat , type music, and editing on this part like I wanna look badd assss, slow - mos and all!” Namjoon hopped into frame out of nowhere earning a snort from kookie.

[C] “All right, let's go give it to me...I'll run ahead, and all of you give me your most badass strut and I’ll slow mo and edit that shit to the gods!!!” Kookie did as he said. Running to the end of the termal, counting down from 5 giving you all the signal to walk, and to be honest it was looking great. Until jimin had to end it with a casual almost  “modest” if you will...slut drop upon reaching the end, and of course you couldn't be out done so you joined. Jimin just stayed in the position for a moment almost as if he were gracing the world with the view of his ass, before sticking out his tongue playfully at the camera to his right!

“Buss it down thotiana buss it downnnn” Hoseok cheered from the side at the site of the two of you, forever the hype man, encouraging you to live you best life. An obnoxiously loud cackle left both him and jin’s throat as they no doubt had that on their snap within seconds!

You can hear Jin and Hoseok in the background jokingly making comments about making it rain on both of you asses or something along those lines as you two strutted down the hall.

[C] I’ve never in my life seen Casey do anything like that…EVER” Yoongi’s tone came through the side stale as hell!!

“I mean, I support it, both the left and the right side of it…” Namjoon smirked back in Yoongi’s direction taking in the site of both asses swaying in front of him!

~~~

Jungkook, and Brendan TEAMJTH’s videographer lead the way into the plane first, and it was gorgeous, seating 14 comfortably had a mixture of chairs, couches, and a work space, one bedroom, and bath. In addition to an array of food, drinks and desserts, a special card sitting on the table next to an edible arrangement. Taking a couple pics to quickly upload to your IG account before getting settled .

There was someone from JETTLY waiting as you guys bored, showing you the amenities, introducing you to the pilot and such but there wasn’t a flight attendant present for the trip which was probably in their best interest!

“Strawberry or pineapple?” Taehyung brought his gaze over to Jungkook as he sat the camera on the table..shrugging nonchalantly, trying to hide the smile moving up his face.

“I don’t know surprise me..”

A smirk moving up Tae’s face at that “Close your eyes..” Dropping his voice slightly, as if it didn't already set at a sinful tenor naturally. Walking over to grab a piece of pineapple, biting into it partially to make sure it’s sweet. Flicking his index finger at the youngers bottom lip letting him know to open up, sliding the fruit into his mouth, while letting his finger lingers over his tongue.  Making the younger smile slightly taking the hint, and lapping his tongue gently, fluttering his eyes open with a meek smile.

“You said surprise you…” Taehyung countered letting his lips hover over Jungkook’s before pulling back smugly making his way back over to the edible arrangement. Leaving the younger more than flustered….

“Alright guys, it’s gonna be a minute before we take off, since you're all finally in one place I need you guys to do one more update about tomorrow’s popup shop. Oh and we were able to get some of your merch there as well!! guys” Jackson, TEAMJTH’S manager spoke up, technically Jin,Hoseok, and Tae were just coming for shits and giggles. The plan originally wasn't a shared tour that’s why there only doing two shows.

But since it’s typical for you guys to have an alternating guest host at least once a month  and your audience loves the threesum it just made sense. Of course since they were coming , pay was worked out, they will be compensated accordingly for the New York and LA shows as well as any of there merch that’s sold. Besides them being your friend’s the five of you just didn't do shady business!

The popup shop would be from 5-10 on the 5th, selling merch and a limited supply of brand collabs the 8 of you have done over the years!

~~~~~~

It was a little after 10 once the jet actually took off, the video was uploaded and your lives got to go on airplane mode! All of you forever grateful for the extremely dim lighting and the fact there were blinds draping the windows. The flight to Miami was about 5 hours and with the time difference by the time you landed it would be rolling on 8pm, you all had a 9:30 dinner meeting with your sponsors so sleeping was crucial.

All of you bundled up in different areas of the plane, the hum of music buzzed through the speakers, while your head laid alone on the couch kiddie-corner at the very back of the room. To be honest it seemed like you were the only one up, the light from your phone catching Jimin’s attention as he invited himself to snuggle up behind you. Sliding your phone out of your hand , placing it on the floor “You need to get some sleep…” the whisper hummed though your ear, as his hand found its home draping over your hip you knew he was right. Eyes burning like hell yet you couldn’t fall asleep…

Head covered under an oversized Calvin Klein hoodie, hiding his face in the crook of your neck, while his palm massaged your hip. A slow exhale left your body as you relaxed into his touch, “Fuck, I know..I just hate sleeping on flights!” A humm left his lips at that and you swore you could feel him smirking into your skin, as his hand slipped under the blanket, past the band of your shorts, toying with the hem of your calvins...A low chuckle left your throat, already well aware of were this was going, you kinda expected it just not this soon.

It’s been 4 months since anything sexually has happened between the two of you, and for some reason it only happens when your traveling. Maybe there’s just something in the air , it was in the bathroom at a brand event, in Bora Bora you found yourself on your knees in Moschino and he found himself shamelessly on his in Gucci. It was a great night, needless to say, the two of you ended up buying the outfits afterwards because there was no way in hell they could be returned!

“I’m surprised your over here with me actually…” Your words coming out slightly muffled as you tried to be respectful of the current atmosphere around you.

“And why’s that..” Bringing his hand down to soothe under your ass, while his lips left faint airy kisses down the side of your neck. Teeth grazing the thin chain around your neck, toying it between his teeth.

“Well, with the way you've been eyeing Hoseok the past two days I figured you’d jump on the opportunity to cuddle up under him...”. Turning your head slightly with a playful smirk waiting for him to bring his lips up to meet yours.

“Coming from the woman who almost creamed her panties when she realized he had his tongue pierced today?” Even though he phrased it as a question his tone came off very “matter of factly” leaving no room for debate. Tugging your bottom lip between his teeth, before lapping over it with his tongue,letting the tiny diamond ball of his own dance along your flesh.  “How didn't you notice that last night?” Sucking your lip between his teeth, not even really expecting a response as he dug his nails into your ass, rolling his hips into you until your knead out slightly. Eyes fluttering shut, as you arched back into his touch, grinds your ass into him until you ripped a stifled moan from his throat!

 Sinking his teeth into the side of your neck in response until you dug your nails in his thigh “We have a meeting behave….”  A deep sigh left his lips but he abided anyway, using his tongue to assault your neck instead.

“I saw the way you were looking at him all night,I don't blame you, I was starting just as hard as you were baby.”  Bringing his hand up to grab your neck, applying  just the right amount of pressure, as his lips teased up your ear. Tugging your hoops between his teeth before sucking a nice little reminder right beneath your ear.

Sliding his hands past your panties to swipe of your clit, a low moan leaving both of your lips “Fuck, Hobi really did get your little pussy wet didint he? Can you imagine how good it would feel to have both of us smothered between your thighs? Telling you how sweet you taste and how good you look while you come.” His lips were literally buried into your ear as he spoke, trying to keep is voice as low as possible, the feeling of his breathe teasing your skin alone had your body shuddering. “God your always so sweet too, you know Hoseok has his cock pierced in 2 places right?”

That alone ripped another moan from your throat as he eased to two fingers in until the rings on his fingers were submerged with you heat. Walls flexing on command as he molded himself around you, curling his fingers upwards to tease at the roof of your pussy. Biting down on your lip so hard you thought you’d draw blood. Thrusting his fingers in and out at an agonizing pace, the girth between the two of them had you arching within seconds , sliding a third finger in and your walls welcomed the stretch effortlessly, as you coated him in your juices. “God your so fuckin’ tight, I bet I got you thinkin about him bending you over -”

“While I have your dick in my mouth? yeah that’s exactly what I’m thinking about. Me wrapping my lips around you until you come down my throat.” The words hissed from your throat as your heat pulsed around him you could almost hear your juices slushing around as he pumped his fingers in and out. “You always look so good when your begging, you turn into such a little slut it’s so sexy.” Now it’s your turn to tease, grabbing his face in your hands pulling his lips down to meet yours. Sliding your tongue into his mouth when you hear him let out an involuntary cry as you start grinding your hips back even harder. Allowing his tongue to map every area in your mouth, the cool sensation from the diamond ball in contrast to the warmth of his tongue has your biting back moans every second. Both of you kissing each other with the same amount of fever , tongues melding against each other, as he exchanged your hole for your clit. Placing the pad of his  fingers  against it before adding steady pressure, as he moved in swift circles.

“Or how about you fucking me, while Hoseok works you open with his fingers, god his hands are so sexy.Until your just begging for him to fuck you, you know how much you love to beg.” A low whine left his throat as he pulled back to lay his tongue flat against your neck, licking a long slow stride before sucking down lightly beneath your chin. Just enough to make you want more, even though you knew he couldn’t...

“Jiminnnn...” You whined slightly reclining your neck even more humming out against your skin in response, lips vibrating against your pulse as if he was actually curious as to why you were calling his name.

“god yes, making you fall apart up under him while you make me cum for you...making a mess all over you cock before he fucks you open with his.” Bringing his lips back over to yours with a slight growl, panting out against his tongue, not allowing yourself to pull away because your afraid of how loud you’ll become, needing his lips and tongue to muffle your cries, as you feel the heat growing in your stomach.

Sliding his oppiste had into your panites, gliding three fingers in knuckle deep, just keeping them stationary, only adding to the immense pressure building in your stomach.

“Your soo good, your fingers are soo good..” Moaning out against his tongue, as low as possible before sucking it into your mouth, his fingers always filled you perfectly, it never took much for him to get you off. Hoping the fact that his hoodie was draping over both of your faces muted out some of the noise.

The neediness dripping from his tongue aren't helping either as you grind your hips into his hand, helping chase your own orgasm. “Fuck I forget much of a promblem this mouth of yours is, your gonna fuck around and make me come from that alone, god your so fuckin sexy…” You could feel him start to build up momentum his fingers started working even faster, needing to feel you come just as bad as you “Your dripping down my hand right now, fuck I just wanna taste you, make you come all over my face.”

Burying your face in the crook of his neck, sinking your teeth into the base merissily, edging you towards your release. “That’s it, fuck yourself on my fingers baby, I can feel how tight your clit is, come for me, come nice and hard for me….” Panting out gainst his your hair as your muscles started to seeze biting down on his neck disgustly hard as you came…… body shuddaring in his embrase as he contiuned working your clit, easing you through your orgasm “Fuck yes, just like that...keep comming for me baby” No matter how sensetive you were you still kept rocking abck agaisnt him, his dick impposibly hard in his pants until you heard a low growl leave his chest. You knew Jimin well enough to know there was a 99% chance he just came….

A low chuckle left your throat at that ...reaching down in his pants as he swirled his fingers in yours. It was like the two of you worked off of one brain cell, brinings your fingers up to each others mouths, lapping your tongues around the digits effortlessly before bringing your lips together. Moaning out simultaneously the two of you tasted each other, the kiss was slow and lazy, letting his tongue have it’s way you as you were spent at this point. Eyes so heavy you almost couldn't open them once he pulled away “Get some sleep…” the words brushed against your lips with a lazy smile before kissing the tip of your nose. The scent of you rolling off his tongue as he spoke. “My entire bodies pliant right now...I don't have a choice, I’m not moving and neither are you!”

Placing one more kiss along your lips before readjusting the two of you under the blankets, before well needed sleep effortlessly washed over your bodies.

~~~~~

The feeling of someone’s hand roaming through your hair is what had your eyes breaking apart. It wasn’t Jimin though you knew what he felt like. These hands were longer, but equally delicate, eyes flutter up to see it was Taehyung. With a camera. Dead in your face.

[C] “Were hereeeee..” The words left his lips sing song like, back to his normal playful self, clearly sleep did him well. Soothing his palm over you back as you grumbled in dismay burying your face back in the blanket...until you remember the discomfort sitting in your panties from earlier, and you instantly felt the desire to hop up and run to the bathroom!

Stepping into the bathroom too quickly wipe down with a towel swamping out your underwear, putting a soiled ones in a bag and sliding them in your cosmetic bag. Upon walking out of course Hoseok would be the one waiting to use the bathroom.

Resting against the wall, shirt long gone, as his hands sat casually in his pockets, the look on his face just felt like he knew something. Or maybe you just felt awkward because you and Jimin got off to the idea of having a threesom with the man in front of you!

“Did you sleep well?”

“I ugh, yeah, yeah I did ..you?” Hoping to god your voice didn't come out as shaky as it felt.

Another all knowing smirk moved up his face, with a slight shrug “Meh, I mean...it couldve been better….” Easing his back off the wall to talk past you, body dusting against yours slightly as he entered the bathroom.  Allowing you to get a full view of beautifully done back piece, Hosoek had one tattoo, and the thing was HUGE...taking up a good 70 percent of his extremely muscular back. It was an extremely detailed leopard, with a tone of tropical themed flowers around it. He got it done in Thailand..about 2 years ago over the span of 3 day!

The minute you returned to the main area Jimin’s eyes met yours exchanging the same look before randomly bursting out into a fit of laughter causing everyone else to glare in your direction. THIS is why the two of you were able to have sex every once on and while, because once it was over..it was over, the two of you were able to just revert back as if nothing ever happened! Walking over to investigate your damage,  yanking his hoodie to the side, thankfully the brutal mark was low enough on his shoulder that any shirt with sleeves would cover it! But fuck if it wasn;t the deepest shade of purple imagiabele, a hiss left your lips at the site of it.

“Don’t worry about it, you know how much I get off on pain..” The words were barely audible as whispered out into your hair. Pulling back from you with a smirk, walking over to pack his blankets and such back in his luggage.

~~~

Once the plane officially settled and the 10 of you made your way to the airbnb it was pushing 8:30, and luckily the sponsors had a feeling this would happen and pushed dinner back to 10. But that still didn't leave MUCH time for getting ready.

Upon pulling up you all recognized the house, it was the “Santorini” very popular amongst influencers as it had 5 bedoroms 4 baths, nine bed all together, a hot tub, pool the full nine. Unfortunately you lot were far too rushed to explore or even pick out rooms, recognizing the car that was waiting outside thankful it was the hair and makeup duo you reached out to weeks ago through IG to do your glam while in Miami.

The house was a mess within seconds, all of you running around throwing clothes everywhere trying to find what you needed, the ten of you had never gotten ready so fast in your lives.

Jungkook and Brenden were ready first, within 20 minutes tops, the least high maintenance of the group, whipping out there cameras as they watched all the casos unfold. Even Though 80% would have to be cut as there were a lot of naked and or half naked bodies running through this house!

It was only a matter of time before Jackson and Yoongi were screaming that the car was outside and you all needed to leave ..NOW!

[FILMING]

“Fuck where are my shoes!?

“Who has hairspray, that won’t make my hair look flakey on my hair!?”

“Kim-Tae-fucking-hyung are you wearing my Saint Laurent boots!?”

“NO! My feet are bigger than yours ya dick!”

Everything and everyone was a damn mess, yelling from all ends of the house, no one really sure who the other was actually speaking too!

“Ahhh shit I gotta go I gotta gooo..” You found yourself running away from your glam team as they chased behind you with hairspray and fix plus,trying to spray you down in the process “Someone zip this pleaseee…” The first person you ran by was Namjoon, his silk paisley shirt sitting slightly unbuttoned giving you a sneak peek at his toned chest while reaching behind to zip up your dress.

[FILMING] ‘Shit I don't know if I like thissss..” You knew that whine anywhere it was Jimin giving himself a one over in the mirror.

[FILMING] “Your ass looks delectable Jiminie we gotta gooooo!!!” The praise came from Namjoon making the younger blush slightly as he licked his cherry stained lips, not hesitating to look at his ass in the frame one more time before abiding. Confidence instantly back on a hundred as he smirked, swaying away from the mirror while running his fingers through his hair.

~~~~

The 10 of you pilled into 3 luxury Ubers arriving to the “Lobster Bar Sea Grille” About 10 minutes late but hey, you tried, Jimin and yourself strutted together, the last two to hop out of the car. Hoseok came over casually draping his hand over Jimin’s shoulder. “I like these pants on you Jimine…” tone calm as ever as his hand gently brushed up Jimin’s thigh, making the older chuckle upon feeling his muscles tense under his hold.

Turning his head upwards slightly to meet Hoseok’s gaze, letting his tongue play at the corner of his mouth “Yea, I can say the same about you,they make your thighs look really good” Jimin’s voice dropped a little, adding that slightly whiny twang that never failed to get him his way! Eye’s shamelessly  trailing up Hoseok’s body

A humm leaving Hosoek’s lips in response as his hand coily trailed down Jimin’s back, the slight whimper that left Jimin’s throat the lower he got didn't go unnoticed. Once Hoseok's hand reached his ass he didn't hesitate to squeeze it firmly in his palm until the younger knead out slightly.  Pulling back with a smirk “Let’s ugh..go knock this meeting out so yeah?” Lips hovering over Jimin’s ear as he whispered into his skin. A low rumble ruptured through his chest at the way the younger was just putty in his hands. Typically Jimin had this effect on everyone else, he’s not used to being knocked on his ass, Hoseok’s a completely different type of creature that’s for damn sure. This time giving his ass a couple playful smacks before jogging over to Jin and Taehyung as the walked through the restaurant's doors.

“What. The. Fuck. Was. That.” Glancing over at Jimin with a smile, honestly you were kinda rooting for this, lord knowns he’s wanted to fuck Hoseok since they met.

“I have no idea, but if that mans dick isn't in my mouth by the end of the night..I’mma lose my shitt!!”

Upon walking in and exchanging hugs there appeared to only be seating left on either side of Hoseok..Jimin and yourself couldn't help but laugh as you took your seats, something tells me this was not a quisedence.

While Tae was next to jungkook Yoongi was sandwiched between Jin and Namjoon, and Jackson, and brenden were sitting in between the two Mike, and Jordan. They were behind the company sponsoring the actual aesthetic of the tour. Meaning they were the ones transforming these venues into the atmosphere all of your fans were walking into. Everything from lighting,seating, the podcast “set” the full nine. Each city was set to have it’s on vibe so none of the ‘set’s would look the same!

The night went well, not that you were surprised, you all knew time and place, and sitting in front of two men who were putting a shit ton of money into your tour was a place to act like professionals. But then midnight rolled around, and that’s when everyone started to get a little laxed Jimin and yourself were one in the same. The familiar smirk that tugged on his pouty lips as he sat in deep conversation with Hoseok told you to look under the table.

Only to find his fingers gently teasing over Hoseok’s cock through his pants, trickling up and down his zipper. Casually bringing his hand down to soothe up his inner thigh, fingers getting dangerously close to his length. Admiring the way Jimin kept gazing at him, the glint in his eyes were the perfect combination of innocent and sin all at the same time. You couldn't even help the smirk that tugged on your cheeks, feeling somewhat proud of you friend for finally going after what he’s wanted.

The sponsors left and graciously covering the bill, while the rest of you shifted outside towards the bar which set right off the water. But you couldn't help but notice Jimin get up to go to the bathroom, only for Hosoek to follow seconds later.

~~~~~~~

Walking in to find the younger pressed against the counter raking his fingers through his hair, not forgetting to arch slightly with a cheeky grin once his eyes zooned in on Hoseok.

Tsking lowly as he shook his head, one hand in his pocket as he strolled over causally “Such a little cock tease huh?” Smacking his ass so hard, even Hoseok moaned out at the sting, pulling a sharp gasp from Jimin’s body.  Making him fall forward chuckling lightly as he braced his weight on his elbows, grinding back into Hoseok. Turning his head slightly as his tongue flicked the roof of his mouth, locking his eyes with the elder as he felt him, digg his thumbs into his hips before grinding his clothed cock into Jimin ass.

Making Jimin moan out shamelessly sucking his plum bottom lip into his mouth as he zoned in on his own reflection.

“Ohhh, you like watching yourself get fucked? You like seeing how pretty you look while your bent over like a little slut getting fucked into the counter?” Rolling his hips a little deeper with a growl, bringing his hand up to take a firm hold on Jimin’s sinfully thick neck.

Brining Jimin’s body flesh to his, Hoseok’s blunt teeth sunk deep into a pulse point, making the younger strangle out a high breathy moan that bounced off every surface of marble in this bathroom.

“Fuck”. Hosek bit his lip, snaking his tongue down the side of Jimin’s neck to ease the sting, his body shuddering at the feeling of the metal brushing against his skin. “You sound so fuckin good and I haven’t even touched you yet…I wonder what you’ll sound like if IIII…..”

Finally bringing his hand down to cup Jimin’s throbbing cock as he rolled his hips into him electing another needy whine from his throat bringing something almost primal out of Hoseok’s body! “Jiminnnn, baby fuck...” The tone in his voice reflected as if he was in pain, which he was, his dick was ready to fucking explode.

The pet name and sudden hint of neediness in Hoseok’s voice had Jimin turning into complete mush in his hold.

Taking Jimin’s hand in his own, pulling back just enough to let Jimin squeeze his cock in his hands through the almost painfully tight fabric, making it twitch a couple times, and he swore Jimin’s knees went limp.

“You want it…” Phrasing the question more as a statement , as he turned Jimin’s head waving his tongue into his mouth, making the younger respond instantly swirling it around the muscle. Hoseok’s hand made its way back to the front of Jimin’s body , soothing it down his chest,before palming his length again. “Soo sexy…” slurred out against Jimin’s mouth, as he sucked his plum bottom lip between his teeth.

Jimin was the one to break away from the kiss “I’m over having your tongue in my mouth , I need your cock” Tone exceptionally bratty, nipping at the elders chiseled jawline,rolling his hips back even deeper “You want me on my knees here or at home?”

THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE FOR NOW! LOL

(Since this is the first chapter I kinda forgot that this one would be the longest for obvious reasons! So I decided I didn't wanna make this like 16 k...cut it off at 9.5 and if this is received well, Miami will be done in 2 parts. So if you enjoyed this and want more...show some love and hit up my ask.

BACKSTORY

[anarcoqueer1994]

Bowling Confessions

A short follow up follow up fic to "Don't Let Me Go." Also note you are valid regardless whether you pass or not. Also, if you need anyone to talk to, I am here and my inbox is open.

TJ couldn't believe what had happened today. It was 2am and he knew he should be asleep but just couldn't. If you had asked him 24 hours ago if today's simple day of sledding would of ended with him getting his first boyfriend, he would have laughed in your face. He never imagined that Cyrus would like him back. But not only had Cyrus told him he liked him as much as he liked Cyrus, but Cyrus now knew he was trans and that didn't change anything in his eyes. He still loved him. To say TJ was relieved, was an understatement. All he has ever wanted was to be treated like any other guy. He knew it shouldn't matter if your cis or not, but also knew not everyone thought that way. Even people who are supposedly "allies" often misgendered trans folks without meaning too. That's why it meant so much to TJ that Cyrus saw him as a boy even after finding out his secret. 

But that's also the reason he still did not want to tell their other friends quite yet. He was still nervous about how they may react. Sure they almost immediately went downstairs and told everyone they were dating but that was easy. (Well except for Buffy pulling him aside to personally kick his ass if he ever hurts Cyrus.) It was easy because he was pretty sure everyone in that room was a little queer. He knew his sister, Amber, was a lesbian, having only dated Jonah out of some misguided internalized homophobia. Andi was pan and so into his sister. Jonah and Buffy were bi kids all the way. So yeah, telling them that hey he was gay and dating Cyrus was a piece of cake. But telling them he was trans was way scarier, and luckily Cyrus would never push him to tell when he was not ready.

There is one issue though, someone in that room earlier, other than Cyrus and Amber, knew TJ was trans; Marty. Marty was the person in the group that he knew the least about. Up until a month ago, he didn't even know who Marty was.(Apparently they were in some classes together but he doesn't remember him.) He is pretty sure Marty is a straight, cis boy but pretty harmless. But that straight, cis boy was also the person who walked in on him in the bathroom while he was changing. This is the boy who now knew he was trans. 

Sure, Marty was respectful enough not to out him but TJ had taken note of how much more quiet Marty was the rest of the day. He also noticed Marty staring at him from time to time. He may be over thinking it but he can't help but be worried. What if Marty doesn't feel comfortable around him and it makes hanging out Cyrus' friends weird? 

TJ sighs in annoyance at himself. Why is he wasting his night obsessing over this? He has better things to think about, like the fact that before leaving Cyrus' house, the shorter boy asked to take hm on a date tomorrow...err...later today at this point.

Ugh , he thinks to himself, as he looks to the clock. 3am. He needs to sleep. So he throws a pillow over his head in a desperate attempt to subdue his own racing thoughts. Eventually exhaustion wins out, and he drifts asleep.

**************

It's about 4pm later that day, and TJ is waiting anxiously for Cyrus. They are supposed to meet at The Spoon for their first official date. Sure they have been to this same restaurant hundreds of times before but this time felt new, and exciting, and scary, all at once. He wanted today to go perfect. He spent two hours changing his outfit to find "the perfect date look." Amber also convinced him that Cyrus would like his hair with no gel. She may have also slipped in there the fact that Andi mentioned to her that Cyrus really likes TJ in his glasses, the glasses he only wears around the house typically. 

So here he was, in the middle of the diner, with his hair falling way more freely than he prefers and his dorky glasses on his face. He doesn't feel the most confident in how he looks right now. But he needs today to go well. So he is trying out his look. Part of him was nervous because what if yesterday was a fluke? What if Cyrus got there and realized this was all a mistake?

Every single one of those worries melt away when he sees Cyrus walk through the door. The moment Cyrus sets eyes on him, the brunette's face lights up. The way Cyrus stares at him makes TJ's face heat up in a deep red blush. Why or how Cyrus can make him feel so soft is a mystery to him but it can't be stopped. Cyrus walks to the table and stands for a moment in what looks to be awe. 

"You look so…" The brown eyed boy's voice breaks the silence. He kneads his lower lip trying to find the best word to describe how he thought TJ looked. Cute? No that was too soft. Beautiful? Not quite the right word either. He finally decides on the word. "Handsome." It was the right mix of affectionate and distinguished.

 Without thinking Cyrur runs his fingers through TJ's hair as he keeps standing by the edge of the table. "I really like your hair. It's so soft. Not that I don't  like it other times though…" Cyrus backtracks, turning slightly red himself for putting his foot in his mouth. "It's just that I like that I can touch it without feeling the gel. And I like your glasses, you look so...I'm sorry if I am saying the wrong things. I'm just nervous you know and I really like you and I think you look so good..and…you smell good, like citrus and...

TJ smiles to himself listening to his boyfriend rambling. He finally grabs Cyrus' hand and pulls him onto the booth bench next to him, before placing a small kiss on the boy's cheek that suddenly leaves him speechless. TJ takes the moment of quiet to say "I think you look pretty good, too, muffin.

"Thanks Teej…" Cyrus replies before settling against TJ as TJ casually wraps his arm around Cyrus' shoulders. As they sat and talked and ate it felt like neither boy can remember being nervous. Sitting like this feels like they should of been doing this all along. It felt natural to sit so close, enjoying each other's company.

*************

When they finished  another renowned rendition of baby tater theater, followed closely by actually eating said baby taters, TJ asked "So what else do you have planned, underdog?"

"Nothing crazy. Buffy invited us to go bowling with her and Marty. Andi has family stuff going on so it would just be the 4 of us. It could be fun." Cyrus notices TJ's face change. It clouds over with what looks like worry. "Or we don't have to, sweetie…we can go to the park or something. "

"No Cy, I want to go. It is fine. I promise."

"Tell your face that then…" Cyrus says half jokingly. "What's up, my not-so-scary basketball guy?"

"It is nothing…" TJ says but knows he does not sound so convincing.

"Let's not start off this relationship with you lying to me. What is it?"

"I'm scared, okay?" TJ replies quietly.

"Of what?" Cyrus lowers his voice to match TJ's.

TJ takes in a deep breath like the air is suddenly heavier. It always feels heavier whenever he talks about his trans identity. It feels like if he says the wrong thing, he could mess something up. Sometimes it felt like he had to work harder than everyone else just to exist. Every once in awhile he wishes someone else he knew was going through this. 

As he thinks about this, Cyrus can see the distress on his face. Cyrus says, "You don't have to tell me, TJ… its okay. " Cyrus  smiles.

TJ returns the gesture with a weak smile. "No I want to tell you. I want to tell you everything all the time, actually. Its...its  Marty. He is the one who walked in on me yesterday, remember? And he was staring at me yesterday the entire time after that. I don't know if he is comfortable with me."

Cyrus reaches for TJ's free hand. "Like I said, we don't  have to go.'

"No we are going to go. I'm just nervous." TJ says in a soft voice, he barely recognizes as his own.

"To be honest, I don't know too much about Marty so I can't speak for him but I know Buffy. She really likes Marty and I can't see her being with someone who would treat you differently for something like being trans." Cyrus keeps his voice down so he doesn't bring unwanted attention to the green eyed boy.

TJ gives his boyfriend a small, unsure smile.  "I guess you are right…"

"Plus I will be with you the entire time." Cyrus says with a wide grin that TJ can't help but mirror. Maybe this will be okay TJ thinks to himself.

***********

Boy was he wrong. From the moment TJ and Cyrus arrived at the bowling alley, it seemed like all Marty could do was stare at TJ. TJ would catch Marty eyeing him up and down, like he was trying to figure something out. It got to the point where even Cyrus noticed it, prompting him to wrap his arm around TJ's shoulder, almost like he was trying to protect him. 

Amazingly Buffy did not seem to notice. Cyrus really wanted to tell Buffy so she could talk some sense into this guy she likes so much. But telling her would be outing TJ so that was out of the question. So those two just keep up their banter, albeit Marty being a bit distracted.

TJ meanwhile tried to focus on Cyrus. He was trying to keep distracted from the blatant stares that bore into him. It is hard though. Even with the bumbers up, (at Cyrus' request) he was not doing well. All he could think about was how uncomfortable Marty is making him feel. He didn't do anything to deserve to feel like a freak on display. Finally when Buffy gets up to grab some food, TJ pulls away from Cyrus and walks up to Marty.

"Can we talk, over there?" TJ's voice comes out more abrasive than he intended as he points to an empty corner of the alley.

"Uh, yeah, sure man." Marty says in a voice that seems riddled with anxiety.

TJ leads the way to the corner of the room. As he passes Cyrus he hears him say "I'm here if you need anything." TJ blushes at those simple words as he continues to walk away. 

When they finally get to a secluded spot, TJ clears his throat and Marty looks at him. This is probably the first one on one conversation they have ever had. "So what is your deal?"

"What do you mean?" Marty asks as he looks to the floor.

"You know what I mean. You haven't stopped starring since you walked in on me yesterday. Is it because you know I'm...I'm trans?"

Marty looks up. He looks so insure. He says "Of course not, actually yea." TJ's eyes look hurt and angry at the same time. Before he can say anything else Marty continues. "But not in the way you think.'

"Oh so you aren't staring at me because you think I'm weird and a freak?" TJ says sarcastically. He is used to assuming the worst so that doesn't seem like a stretch.

"No! Of course not!"

"Then why have you been staring at me?!" He says in a hushed yell. Then he pauses. He notices the look of sadness and fear in the other boy's face. He recognizes that look from his own mirror. His voice softens "Hey man, are you okay?"

Marty shakes his head as his breathe catch as he tries to speak. After a long couple seconds, he chokes out, "I was staring because I couldn't actually believe their was another guy at school like me. I've been trying to figure out if it was all my imagination. I'm...I'm sorry if I made you feel weird."

"Wait…" TJ says in disbelief. "Did you say 'Guy at school like you?' as in...as in you're trans?" 

"Yea, I am." Marty gives a half smile.

"How did I not know this before?" 

"The same reason that no one knows about you. Sometimes if you manage to pass, it is way easier not to go around announcing your trans."

TJ huffs at his own dumb question. "I guess you are right."

Suddenly the world around TJ felt lighter. There was now another person he could confide in that probably understood this aspect of his life better than anyone else. He is suddenly glad his boyfriend brought him here.

"Can I ask you a question?" Marty says interrupting his thoughts.

"Yea, anything."

"How do you get your voice to sound so good? I catch mine cracking all the time and I am so worried is going to give me away."

TJ cracks a small smile. "My mom is a piano teacher and she understands all this pitch and tone stuff. It sounds dumb, but she helps me."

Marty frowns and TJ is worried he said something wrong. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, you didn't. Not at all. Um, did you say your mom helps you? She knows?"

"Well yea, it would be hard to hide something like this." TJ says matter-of-factly. Marty knows too well it is hard to hide something like this.

"She supports you?" Marty continues to question.

"Yea, since I was little. So does my dad."

Marty looks away. "That must be nice."

TJ puts his hand on the other boy's shoulder as they stand across from each other. "I take it your parents aren't the most supportive?"

"Not really. My dad barely talks to me and my mom refuses to address me by anything but my dead name. Sometimes the teachers at school are more supportive than my own parents. At least they call me Marty." Marty looks devastated as he continues. TJ just let's the other boy get it out. "And it's hard you know? Like the one binder I saved up and bought, my mom found and threw out. So most of the time, I'm stuck with bandages and sports bras. And like I can't have friends over because my parents would out me. What if that's how Buffy finds out? I really like her and I can't even bring her to my house, without being forced out to her. I just...wish they would stop treating me like a bad daughter and start being proud of son they have. Like, come on, I am the fastest guy in school ...why don't they care, you know? Why don't they care about me."

TJ's heart broke for Marty. He suddenly felt 100x more thankful for his parents. He sat in quiet with the other boy for a while. After a bit TJ breaks the silence. "I'm sorry about your parents. You don't deserve that. But I can say for 100% sure if Buffy were to ever find out, she would not care. Anyone can see how much she cares about you.

"Yea, and I'm going to tell her but not today."

"Okay." TJ says simply. This is Marty's truth to tell on his time.

After a few more minutes, they walk back over to their awaiting friends. As TJ settles back into Cyrus' side, the shorter boy says "Everything okay?"

"Yea, everything is fine." He smiles and Cyrus doesn't push for more. The rest of the evening is a lot of fun. TJ's life could not be better. He has a cute boyfriend that he loves and so many great friends, now. Sometime soon he thinks he will tell the rest of them his truth.

That night after he and Cyrus spend too much time on the porch saying goodnight, he slips into his house. His mom sits on the couch watching an old movie. He simply sits down beside her, hugs her and whispers "Thanks mom."

Thanks for reading and thank you to @kippens-a-goodman for the idea to add Marty in!

[molly2140]

Introducing Octavia Freeman 😎

Includes brief shit about my Half-Life universe.

Gordon has a twin sister, Octavia, she's approx. 4 hours younger than him if that matters haha. Their mother died during their birth (depressing as hell I know but I like the tragedy and dramatic shit), so their awesome father took it upon himself to raise his twin children the best he possibly can and give them a good life. Since Gordon can't speak, he, Octavia, and their father learned ASL in order for them all to communicate. Octavia acts as Gordon's voice and helps translate his signs for those who don't understand ASL. While growing up, Octavia becomes very defensive for Gordon, she hates when people make fun of him for not being able to speak. High school consisted of lots of fights and detentions for Octavia simply because she's defending her beloved twin. The two have a very unique bond, not only are they twins but they are best friends. Gordon has a really hard time opening up to other people, especially other girls, but he's always found it easy to confide in his sister, and Octavia is extremely supportive of him.

About a year after Gordon and Octavia graduate high school, their father falls ill and soon passes away, by then they are sharing an apartment on the university campus. Gordon is undoubtedly a genius, Octavia is quite intelligent as well, but she is studying for casual things such as photography and journalism, compared to Gordon who's clearly working for his PhD in science stuff. Soon after their father passes, Octavia finds herself taking the loss much worse than Gordon, and somewhere down the line she finds herself addicted to heroin. If Gordon wasn't home the night she finally overdosed, she would have died. During her rehabilitation and healing process, this brings the two of them closer and Gordon simply tells her that he cannot lose her, because she's the only family he has left. From that day forward, the two became even more inseparable.

Gordon and Octavia both end up at Black Mesa! Gordon obviously working in anomalous materials, whilst Octavia became the first female security guard, and she and Barney form a great friendship. Barney even tells her about his interest in Lauren, and she instantly hooks them up and everybody watches them fall in love. Octavia, like Barney, is a huge party animal, and enjoys grabbing some beers with Barney and Gordon after a long shift. Did I mention that Octavia and Barney are huge Queen fans? 😎 They will blast their music every day when they hit up the shooting range or while on lunch break. Also, Barney proposes to Lauren and Octavia was so happy when he announced it to her that she literally would not shut up about wedding plans for a whole week.

Black Mesa Incident time, yayyyy.

Octavia loses her shit when she can't find Gordon, she knew he was going in the test chamber that day, she wasn't supposed to know but he had told her anyways. She and Barney team up to fight the foreign alien creatures in order to escape Black Mesa alive. They are extremely pissed about the military simply executing any scientist or Black Mesa employee, however their highest priority is finding Gordon. Octavia and Barney get separated inside the Lambda facility, Octavia is trapped within and simply focuses on finding Gordon. She finds a portal to Zen, where she fights more of the alien creatures and soon realizes there's no way back to Earth. Suddenly the G-Man introduces himself to her, and offers her a job, she hesitates, but accepts when he tells her that he has Gordon. Together, the twins are put into stasis until their "hour has come again".

I'm not gonna get too much into the Half-Life 2 era stuff cause I'm planning on making a fan fic of it but here's some highlights and other facts about Octavia.

The land outside City 17 is fairly different, White Forest still exists, however everything is more inland and not next to the coast. The only large bodies of water are rivers and lakes. Technically City 17 is somewhere in Russia or in Soviet territory because I noticed a lot of the buildings and signs there are in Russian, but let's pretend City 17 is in the US because I want Octavia and Gordon to find their home as well as the ruins of Black Mesa. :3

City 17 has a wall around it that the Combine patrol heavily, the canals still exist but there is also underground tunnels that lie below City 17. The Combine are completely clueless of the underground tunnels, therefore Alyx uses them to help transport supplies and escort citizens to other outposts.

The Combine become aware of Gordon and Octavia's return a couple months after they arrive, unlike literally within the first day in the actual game.

Gordon and Alyx do fall in love of course. :)

Barney and Octavia fall in love too. :) Not gonna spoil shit about what happens to Lauren though I'm sure you can figure it out easily.

Eli's lab is far outside City 17, further west, so instead of it being called Black Mesa East, it's now Black Mesa West. It's actually a fairly large building that is partially submerged underground and is hidden in the trees so the Combine aren't aware of it. There's a nice open area to the south of the lab where Alyx and Dog have plenty of room to play fetch.

Since the lab is partially submerged underground, kinda like some houses where the back end is underground but the front isn't, that's literally this concept. So you can basically walk onto the roof, and that's Barney and Octavia's hang-out spot. This is also the spot where they confide in each other and talk about their tragedies, for Octavia, her heroin addiction and overdose, and for Barney, what happened to Lauren.

Oh yeah they also stole a Combine helicopter and fixed up Black Mesa style. 😎

Octavia helps Barney cope with his reoccurring nightmares over Lauren and the things he's seen working undercover, oh, and about that cat.

Barney managed to save some of the old mixtapes he and Octavia made back in the day, as well as the portable cassette player, which he rigged so it doesn't need batteries. So they constantly jam out to their favorite old tunes when hanging out or going on supply runs or hunting trips.

Octavia is definitely a night owl, Gordon is as well and they both have troubles sleeping sometimes. Gordon sometimes joins Octavia on the roof at 3am to talk some energy out in hopes of going back to sleep.

The classic desert eagle is Octavia's preferred weapon, the one she used while on security at Black Mesa. She is forever grateful that Barney managed to find and keep her prized gun after the Incident, as well as Gordon's infamous crowbar. The crowbar he still swears his life on by the way, ha.

Like Alyx, Octavia is quite fit and flexible, it's obvious they're experts at parkour. ;) If you haven't noticed, Alyx has a hoodie underneath her leather jacket with the Black Mesa logo, so I decided Octavia's shirt should have the Lambda logo with a similar color concept as seen on Gordon's HEV suit.

Octavia sometimes will go undercover with Barney to try and understand what he does every day, as well as gain more Combine information. She starts doing this soon before they confide in each other and confess their newfound love for each other. They definitely feel like they're working together again like in the old days but now forming secret crushes on each other.

Okay I'm not gonna spill too many more details without spoiling everything haha. But this is Octavia, as well as a brief explanation on my Half-Life universe. I showed my finished drawing of Octavia to my boyfriend and he swears she looks like me in real life but I don't see it other than the fact we both wear glasses and we both have our hair in ponytails all the time lol. The pose was based off of Kibbitzer's reference sheets, as mentioned before, you can find Kibbitzer's sheets on DeviantArt, their Patreon, or by simply searching it in Google. So yeah, this is my OC, Octavia Freeman, I hope you guys like her because I've put a lot of thought into her character and I've never done that with my other OCs haha. But I'm really proud of it. :)

[russeliarat]

Don’t you ever fucking suggest the idea that you are worth dying Russ. In what world are you making everyone around you miserable? If I am miserable talking to you than why am I even here?? If I was miserable I would walk away.

If you would like to know, I have before had the thought process that maybe it would be okay if I wasn’t here, it would be better for everyone. And then I woke the hell up and realized that offing myself would only hurt others. Not even just personal relationships, it affects a ton of people.

We feel intense emotion when someone has to do something drastic: rob a bank because they need money, run away because of their home life, or kill themselves because they either find it better for themselves or others. Suicide hurts the most because there is nothing you can do beyond that point to help because the person is dead.

And don’t even get me started on the PERSON SUFFERING THEMSELF.

I cannot describe to you what I entirely think about this in the limited language we have, the word I’m looking for is more specific than that one German word that specifies an old lady walking across the street with a fish or something like that I don’t know.

I have a Bo Burnham mindset when it comes to the world, an existential terror at what monster we’ve created, at what horror is to come, that there is no hope for a better future and one day we’re going to destroy this planet. But I’m still here, I’m still living my life, I’m still having fun and smiling and experiencing new things. Sometimes I mess up, sometimes I’m around people who belittle me, or who dislike me, or who infantilize me (it happens to me so fucking much) , but I don’t let those things drag me down.

I’m too busy loving existence, and finding joy no matter where I am (except anywhere near that one teacher FUCK HER-) . There is something from a podcast I listen to that describes my thoughts perfectly - no matter where you are, no matter how bad things may be, I think you can find joy. I found joy simply talking to you, and I took that joy as another reason to wake up the next day.

Most actions are selfish yeah, and maybe you’re right and it is selfish to crave death. It doesn’t matter how selfish you are, not to me at least, in my bed at five a.m. So don’t you ever say you are worth dying or I’m coming over to your ass and dunking your head in cold ass water until it clicks in your head that you are not the root of all suffering, that’s Hitler’s role.

Anyway, I just woke up and am about to keel over and sleep, timezones amr?

Being honest here, I'm not even sure why I posted that. I made it at like 3am when I spiralled hard and didn't know what else to do. I regret it deeply to be honest, I don't really want anyone to see me in that state ever, it's more than embarrassing.

I think it's been more than an understatement to call the last few weeks rough, it's been tougher than ever. You and others who visit frequently help me a lot to deal with this kind of shit but I never want to pressure anyone into feeling obligated to stay here. My feelings on this kind of thing is really complicated - I yearn for comfort and support but at the same time, I don't want anyone to become troubled because of my behaviour (something I've had to learn the hard way).

[iluvzfewdnstoreyz]

Nightmare Dream Home

Afew years ago my ex husband and I moved our new little family into a cute 3 bedroom little house. It was painted blue, and therefore has since been called the blue house. The 1st week there we were in our living room watching television, when a massive shadow went up the wall behind us, onto the ceiling where a mist formed with it. It moved across the ceiling down the hallway and disappeared into the nursery. I was a die hard skeptic at this time. My ex husband asked me if I saw it. I am ashamed to say, I told him I had and that it was merely someones headlights outside. He argued that the windows were not near any road and the mist was not explained by this theory. I shrugged it off and accepted my explanation anyway.

We began having experiences hearing footsteps running down the hallway to bathroom; banging and scratching on the walls; toys turning on and off without batteries; hearing children cry outside the nursery window; large shadow and mists movement daily; a full body apparition of a woman, the kids complaining they could not sleep because "they" would not leave them alone; cold spots, lights flickering and going off, sounds of heavy furniture being moved around in the vacant bedroom; the television coming on and or going off on its own accompanied by an odd high pitched hum and sometimes a faint sound of music. I continued to find explanations for these events and ignored what I could.

As things escalated everyone in the household experienced nightmares, and some of us began sleep walking. I was one of them and I had the most frequent episodes. I would wake up under the kitchen table; on the floor in odd places; and even outside. There would be mud on my feet and other signs I had been outside. My family said I would have my eyes open but I did not respond to them like myself and I seemed vacant.

We were advised to try and get EVP. To talk to it. To ask questions. Doing this was our undoing.

We caught some low class EVP's in the question and answering stage. Nothing alarming or conclusive. Following our EVP session when we went to bed something growled. I was in bed and my ex husband was reaching up to the ceiling fan to turn the light off leaving the fan on. Something growled angrily from the foot of the bed. I thought it was our dog. I found her at my mother's feet, in the den, where she had been when I left to go to bed. We searched our property outside and found nothing. Even after all that I was convinced some stray or even my dog growling must be what we heard.

Later that night I woke to something strange. My computer monitor was visible at the foot of the bed. Standing in front of the monitor was the silhouette of my shirtless ex husband. His back was to me and he was just standing there. I called out to him but he didn't answer or turn around. Something told me to look at his side of the bed. I did and nothing was there. I looked back and my husband had vanished into thin air.

I realized that what I had seen couldn't have been a person. I smelled something burning. Then the covers began to be pulled down off of me. I froze. The air conditioner was a window unit. It began to beep and go from low fan to medium fan to high fan then back to low over and over. In unison with each fan cycle change the blinds were flipping open and shut, along with banging on the walls.

I suddenly became a little girl. I felt like all the air hang been sucked out of my body. I could not take air in to make a sound. I am embarrassed to say I urinated on myself. When I finally could take air, I gasped and began screaming for my mother like a child. I mustered the courage to finally move and reached for the door knob next to the bed. At that moment my husband came in and flipped the light on at which point it all stopped. He had been in the bathroom vomiting. His mysterious illness stopped right then as well.

I looked for a new home. I no longer was the skeptic.

Before moving I found a necklace on my dresser one day. I thought it was left there as a gift so I put it on thinking nothing of it. A couple days later I woke to a blinding headache. My husband got up to get my migraine medicine but fainted just outside our bedroom. I got up and went down too. I crawled to the kids room. I found my son first. I got him aroused enough to help walk him outside. I went back into the house for my daughter and husband. My husband crawled out while I located our daughter. She was 3 at the time. I found her tiny little body blue and unresponsive in her bedroom. I drug her out the front door thinking after I called 911 I would return to the home and lay down. I believed my daughter dead and wished to follow. My thinking was very muddled.

I went in and retrieved the phone. Passing out twice in this process. When I returned to the front door, my daughter's eyes were open. So I laid down in the yard and called for help. When paramedics and firemen arrived, I was told we had carbon monoxide poisoning. The firemen said 30 per square feet was lethal. My home was over 500 per square feet. Just short of barbecuing in the living room, no explanation for those levels was found in the home. No one in my family knew where the necklace had come from. I removed it at the hospital and left it there.

We moved shortly after that. The last night everyone was at our new home while I was at the blue house cleaning so we could collect our deposit. I was tired from the night before. The whispers and banging on the walls were relentless. I was in my bedroom when someone knocked on the door. I went and looked through the peephole and see the silhouette of a man I believed to be the neighbor across the street. I saw him lean down and look into the peep hole, then a bright light behind him appears and he turned and walked away. I opened the door and no one was there.

After shutting the door I realize he had stooped down to look in the peep hole at me. How is that possible I thought. He wasn't taller than me. Anxiety hits as it begins to hit me that the tall man could not have been my neighbor or any normal human being. My lungs seize up. I rush to the bedroom to get my rescue inhaler out of my purse.

That's the last thing I remember. The next thing I can recall I am slamming into a wall, falling from a standing position. I am in the living room. I am freezing. I have never been so cold. I looked around and was very confused about where I was. I didn't recognize it without the furnishings.

I am so cold my jaw was chattering. I wander briefly through the home trying to get my bearings as to where I am. I go into the bathroom. At this point, I begin to have a dejavu feeling, like I know, that I know this place, but I can not put it together in my head. It is fuzzy and slow moving.

I am desperate to get warm. I can see in the mirror that my lips are blue. "What the hell is wrong with me" I think. I begin filling the tub with hot water and I strip quickly climbing in.

As the water fills and my body begins to warm I see my cell phone on the floor next to the tub. It must have fallen out of my bra when I was undressing. I used to keep my cell phone in my bra along with money etc. I pick it up and call my husband.

When he answered I started crying. "I just woke up. I'm so cold."

He was frantic, "where are you! Where have you been! I have been calling you for hours. You didn't come home!"

I looked around the bathroom. I finally recognized it. I told him I was at the blue house.

"Babe where have you Been? We last spoke over 5 hours ago. Its 3am." He said.

I took about half an hour to warm my body enough that I would get out of the tub. My husband came and got me. I was too confused to even figure out how to get home on my own. I can not express how terrifying this was.

It turned out the man I thought I saw had passed away.

I don't know what I was doing in that 5 hours. It's scary to be up doing things with no recollection of it.

I don't know what happened to me that night or why. Seizure maybe? I try not to think about it.

We have continued to have issues, but very mild in comparison. We did lose one of our children to suicide about a year after moving. I can't help wonder if it had anything to do with what attacked me. Had it attacked him after leaving the blue house? He left no note. I am left never knowing.

I have accepted that there are no answers for me. My best friend lives next door to the blue house. She says that the new neighbors do not complain of having any issues. She had experienced something every time she had come into the blue house when I lived there. She has not experienced anything while on any of her visits to the new neighbors. I am too terrified to even pass the house. I do not visit her in her home. She comes to visit me.

I am a shadow of the person I once was. The events at the blue house severely traumatized me and my family. My son's death sent me over the edge into a full nervous breakdown. Which is not as dramatic as it may sound. I simply quit functioning. I closed myself off from the world and just stopped. I could not remember how to do a job I had done daily for 5 years. I had to be walked through it daily until I was terminated. I cried so much that my face was chapped all the time. Even now, 4 years later, I am struggling to reclaim my life. I pray no one else comes into contact with whatever that thing was.

Thanks for reading my story. Sharing it helps me let it go and heal. I am open to alternate explanations and discussions. You do not have to agree with me, and you can even think I am crazy. I only ask that you be respectful. Crazy or not, my life has been shattered into pieces because of what I experienced. Thank you. Shine on.

[thickertreat]

Social Media Stigmas

Ever since the rise of social media, there have been numerous stigmas surrounding "liking" posts and how one "likes" a post. Personally, I think its all ridiculous. [Note: I may sound bitter here, but I'm much more amused by these absurdities than anything else. 😆] For example:

Apparently there's a time limit for liking a post and if you like something past that time limit (which always varies from person to person), you're creeping or obsessing. Like, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that I have to like your pic in secret just because it's 3 weeks old. I guess these things have expiration dates and even though they're still up there on the internet for all to see until you delete them, my public interaction with them is seen as questionable just because it didn't happen when you think it should have? Haha, ok.

There seems to be a cap on how many posts from one person you can like at once, or probably at all. Once, there was a girl I was really into and we were likely going to start dating, but I managed to scare her off when I went on a "liking spree" on most of her pics on IG. She blocked me and ghosted on me, which was a hard 180° on the vibe we had with each other just before that. I'm aware that some people find it odd to do what I did there, but whether I want to date you or not, why can't that be seen as simply admiring someone a lot and wanting to be supportive? Why must it be universally seen as a red flag? Plus, even though I don't agree with it, it's now making me question myself too much. Just moments ago, I was liking a bunch of pics from a tumblr user and something made me stop and think I was doing too much. I think it's sad that these opinions are so widely shared and have even started to affect how I think about them.

You can very possibly be judged by the types of posts you like, even if they're from the same user. Sure, let's ignore the fact that THEY are the ones who posted that stuff, but I'M the weird or pervy one for liking it. Don't look at me weird for liking that adorable pic of you and your little neice just because I usually like your sexy selfies, but your last 20 pics were only sexy selfies. Yes, I think you're sexy and I happen to think it was sweet you took your neice to the park. They have nothing to do with each other.

The hour at which you like a post also determines your level of creepiness. Look, I'm a night owl. Sometimes I don't go to bed till after 4am. Why does it mean something if I like your pic at 3am versus 3pm? In fact, studies show that 1am is one of the best times to post a pic, because there is said to be, on average, more people scrolling through their feed around that time, thus providing a bigger audience for those posts. But no, let's read way too much into the fact that I liked your pic in the middle of the night, because... why?

That's currently all the examples I could think of, but what's worse than these is the fact that they are usually all lumped together in the same bogus formula most people use to determine how appropriate it was for you to like a post. I don't get it. People have an odd obsession with figuring other people out, lableing them, and pushing that narrative to anyone who willingly listens to and believes their word, and if they don't, they become just as vilified.

I just want to be able to follow and like what I want without being judged by how and when I like them. It's bad enough I once found out way too late that your followers on IG can see what you like and follow, and that I learned about this when my MOM started making comments to me about the women I was then following. Sure, if someone ever promotes or supports anything involving violence, criminal activity, or inappropriate attention to minors, you should report them and distance yourself immediately. Otherwise, let people do what they want without judgement.

I know, easier said than done. 🙄

[helinedmightbehere]

YEAHHH...........................yeah that's us 😭😭

Casually dropping his hyper fixation into the convo so he’s forced to talk to me for another hour