thestarssystem

[thestarssystem]

btw sorry about practically disappearing for… idek how long (too long)

To quickly “explain” what happened, only one of our alters listed in the introductions section still exists and times recently haven’t been very epic lol

[thestarssystem]

being a system is not knowing what’s going on in your head 99% of the time

[thestarssystem]

i think i might be in a system and i rlly wanna talk to a couple of my friends about it (they’re both in the same system, and i know their whole system would be accepting of like someone suspecting they might be a system so i don’t necessarily have to worry) but i’m a bit nervous to. would it be ok to ask for any tips about telling someone you might be a system, if you happen to have any?

we’re probably not the best system to ask for tips because we’ve only told one person, our systems boyfriend.

When we told him though, he had already been aware of our mental health journey and all that jazz. When clover told him, she basically just came out and said “yoooo i think i might have something called OSDD” and then she explained it. However, we know this method is probably not the best way to tell people in everyday situations.

Since we’re not much help here tbh, we’re linking a video by Acrylic and Aether that discusses tips on how to tell people you’re a system (although the video deals with DID and not OSDD, we still feel it’s just as helpful)

personally, since your friends are also part of a system, i would just come straight out and say “hey i think i might be a system too. Do you have any tips or advice or anything?” and maybe explain why you think you’re part of a system if you’re comfortable. Of course though, that’s a lot easier said than done and you may not be comfortable with it and that’s okay c:

i really hope we (or this video) helped you!

sorry we don’t have more tips for you ourselves haha.

Stay safe

-clover/jacelyn

[thestarssystem]

Hope y'all are doing ok, remember to drink some water!!

tysm anon! you too!!

and to everyone else who sees this!

-clover/jacelyn

[thestarssystem]

hi i sent an ask a little while ago and i just wanna say thanks the response was super helpful and i appriciate the help

of course! glad we could help!

stay safe xx

-clover/jacelyn

[thestarssystem]

Hi, I've been wondering if I have OSDD-1 (I'm not entirely sure if it's A or B, since only one ‘alter’ seems to have more distinct traits but she's the only one who's actually nice to me and will talk to me more than a singular intrusive thought or egging me on when I'm having negative thoughts, but I don't seem to get any real amnesia besides being emotionally detached from some memories as if they’re not my own), and I was wondering if alters need to sound different in your head or if you can just know the difference based on what they’re saying or from just a ‘gut feeling’? Because sometimes I can tell it's Maria talking to me based what she's saying and the tone she’s using or from it just feeling like she's there with me, despite her sounding very similar to my own voice

-sorry for late response, took a mental health break from social media-

For my system, in our headspace, everyone’s voice sounds very similar. The only difference between them really is tone and accents (we have one french alter and one british one and they’re internal messages are with those accents most of the time)

Usually for us, though, we can just tell who’s saying what. Whether it is from the tone of voice they use or because we always just,, have a sense of who’s near enough to the front to communicate.

While I do believe that some systems may distinctly hear different voices when alters communicate, not all systems do. A lot of systems just.. know who’s speaking.

I really hope i answered your question c:

tysm for your ask and stay safe

-clover/jacelyn

[thestarssystem]

How often does someone with like osdd dissociate? I think I have osdd but I don't dissociate often, I zone out a lot, but not flat out dissociate

I’m pretty sure it depends on the system. Some systems dissociate more often than others. I’m not completely positive on this (so don’t quote me on it) but I think it may have something to do with how healed the system is. The more healed a system is, the less switches happen, which means less dissociation. But like I said, I’m not positive if that’s factual.

My system fully dissociates an average of 2-3 times a day. Some days it’s more, some days it’s less.

However, since you mentioned that you zone out a lot, I suggest doing research into Maladaptive Daydreaming. I don’t know much about it myself, but I know it involves “zoning out” more than it does actual dissociation.

Sorry if I wasn’t much help with this answer 😳

-clover

[thestarssystem]

how can i tell the difference between just spacing out & dissociating? and would spacing out & "getting stuck" there count as dissociation?

So really the only differences between dissociation and spacing out is the duration and the structure of the experience.

A psychiatrist named Buddy Braun came up with the BASK model of dissociation which basically says that when dissociating, a person disconnects from their behavior, affect, sensations, or knowledge (or any combination of those) When normally spacing out, a person is still connected to all of these aspects.

Zoning out is a mild form of dissociation though. Just one that’s more on the mild end. The easiest tell of if you’re heavily dissociating or mildly dissociating is if you still feel present/ feel like yourself.

Hope this helps!

-Clover

[thestarssystem]

hi! anon of the host switch ask you replied to a little bit ago here. is it weird if who i believe was the previous host, has a different name than the name the body had in childhood? she just recently told me her name and now i’m feeling invalid and like i’m making it up since it doesn’t match the body’s given name.

DEFINITELY NOT! In my system they did share the same name but that is completely a coincidence. Host alters don’t have to have the same name as the body and that comes from the idea that there’s no “original” alter and therefore the host doesn’t have to have the same name as the body. I’m sure there’s quite a few systems out there where none of their alters have ever shared the same name as the body.

Your system and alter names are completely 100% valid. Some systems have a birth name alter and others don’t and both situations are just as valid as the other!

-Clover

[thestarssystem]

hi! i was wondering if you knew anything about host switches and how to tell when that’s happened?

for context:

we have a little alter that looks similar to the body in childhood, who seems to be the trauma holder. me (the current host) it doesn’t seem i really had a childhood in the literal sense. at some point in time, it seems i just “took over”. when i look back at photos of the body at a certain age, i identify with it, it’s me, and i remember and am familiar with myself, but looking at photos of the body prior to this possible switch, i have no connection, and the only memories and feelings come when the little is near the front. it feels like she’s telling me or sharing her childhood, not mine.

i’m thinking this could signify a host change at some point in late childhood, but i’m just not too sure what a host change means or feels like, if you have any info.

Unfortunately, there’s not much research I could find on the internet regarding host switches, but your situation is almost exactly the same as what my system calls a host switch so, take that as you will lol.

When we were younger, we had an alter named Cameron (our birth name) and at about 14 or 15 she had too much and went dormant. Ever since that day, I (Clover) have been the host.

When I look back at pictures from childhood, I don’t recognize the pictures as me (despite knowing that they are) I also don’t remember pretty much anything about our childhood because I (as an alter) was only created in our freshman year of high school. The only memories I have are some random memories that I’ve gotten from Jacelyn (a protector) and Hannah (our gatekeeper) because they feel like they’re necessary for me to have.

Regarding our actual host change process, it just kinda happened. There was a VERY VERY long period of dissociation (like a few weeks actually) and when we came out of it, I wasn’t Cameron anymore, I was Clover. I don’t really remember anything really out of the ordinary happening though.

I feel like your situation could very well be a host switch from what you told me, but of course only your system really knows. You could try asking that little if they used to be the host. If you have good communication with this alter, whenever they’re near the front, show them a picture of the body from childhood and ask if that was them. I think that may hold all your answers.

I hope this helped! Sorry I can’t do much for you regarding science and research haha. Stay safe xx

-clover

[thestarssystem]

Do you think it's possible, for a questioning system (undiagnosed and fairly new to suspecting we might be) to ALL be uncertain rather than just one alter? For example, we suspect we might be a system but there's no clear 'host', and as contradictory as it might sound, all of us think we might just be 'getting too into character' (we're a writer and actor so that's why we're hesitant/still questioning).

I’d like to start by clearing up a misconception that you may have: “Host” does not mean they’re the only one who knows or doesn’t know about the system. All other alters in a system can be just as confused as (or even more confused than) the host alter about there being a system. It’s important to remember that OSDD/DID is supposed to be secretive and in some cases, all alters can think they’re the host/ “the only one” and can be confused about the idea of there being others.

Now for the second part:

I think it would be best for your possible system to analyze and realize what signs you may have of OSDD/DID. Do your alters personalities match the personalities of OCs you’ve created? Are there symptoms other than the feeling of there being more than one alter? (such as dissociation between switches, flashbacks, change in likes/dislikes between alters, etc) Make sure you’re being honest with these answers though. It’s okay if your suspicion of OSDD is wrong.

-chloé

[thestarssystem]

hello! i was wondering if it would be ok to ask a question?

i’ve been doing research into osdd recently because i’ve been thinking i might be in a system. i’ve felt the presence of another person in my headspace for a long time and like 2-3 years ago i started feeling the presence of a couple others. they’re completely different people than me and have their own names, ages, etc. but i’ve heard some systems say they hear their alters speaking to them and i’ve never heard anyone speaking outloud to me, even when we communicate. i’m not sure if i’m actually in a system or it’s something else entirely.

whenever i’m dissociating i feel like i’m not physically there anymore, but i can still feel the movements of the body and the things we touch. i’m not sure if that means i’m not really in charge or what?

i’m not sure how systems usually experience these things, or if there is a usual and i’m just overthinking, so i figured i’d ask, if that’s alright. thank you so much for your time.

Id like to start off by saying that every system experiences DID/OSDD differently. This means there can be differences in natural alter communication as well as what it feels like when others are fronting.

While some systems do audibly hear their alters talking to them, my system does not. Our systems communication comes mostly through “intrusive thoughts.” There isn’t one way alters communicate and it can even change depending on the alter(s) or even the day. Here is a really helpful video by MultiplicityandMe that discusses alter communication: https://youtu.be/HmUFXab3cvc

Regarding dissociation, our system typically does not have long switches. Our switches are usually pretty fast, even when it’s not a triggered switch. Because of this, we don’t really know what “in between switch dissociation” feels like. However, when an alter is fronting (only one and with no influence from others) everything feels normal. We don’t feel out of body or like we’re not in control. On the other hand, when someone is co-fronting or co-conscious, we DO get that feeling of “yea i’m not the one moving my hand rn” or “wow this action we’re doing feels really weird” We know what’s going on around us, but it can feel like it’s not “us” doing it.

We really hope this helps! Let us know if you have any more questions!

-Jacelyn/Chloe

[thestarssystem]

Hi! I'm in the middle of some kind of system emergence - I've had glimpses of someone I guess is an alter for the last decade, but in the last few weeks a) it's like they've gone from "occasionally glimpsed through a window as they live their best au life" to "so were suddenly roommates and they're around most of the time" and b) I'm beginning to realise they've been around since I was a little kid. I don't feel like we share a body, it's most like they're another me on a different timeline? I'm aware of their feelings and thoughts but I'm very much the one running this body. I'm just increasingly feeling their feelings and desires alongside my own, and it's very confusing at the moment. Reading up suggests this is some kind of OSDD-1b, but I have no clue. What's the best way to, for want of a better word, integrate? I tried "making things happen" like an internal meeting, and that's not been good.

So I actually have no real ideas on how to integrate because that’s not what my system wants. If your system truly wants to integrate though, I really REALLY suggest going through that process with a therapist. Reason being that in order to integrate, you have to identify the exact reason why alters were formed. That means you have to uncover and accept a lot, if not all, of your trauma.

I’m going to link two videos here on the topic of integration. One is a more educational video on the topic and the other is a more personal perspective:

1. https://youtu.be/zRUQG_rNSy8

2. https://youtu.be/SDl7DQX5jsI

Please keep in mind that integration is not the only solution. Systems can remain happily as a non-integrated system for as long as they want to. Only integrate if everyone in the system agrees that’s best and wants to do it, otherwise it won’t work.

I wish you luck in whatever path you choose to take: integration or not. Lmk if you have any more questions c:

-not sure

[thestarssystem]

YALL WE FORGOT THE PASSWORD TO THIS ACCOUNT AND JUST GOT BACK IN LOL! WE’LL BE ANSWERING ALL OUR ASKS WE’VE GOTTEN TONIGHT!

-the stars system

[thestarssystem]

i extremely apologize if you've gotten asked this question before, most likely have. Anyway, I think I have OSDD? specifically osdd-1b I've done a bunch of research into this and sometimes its just "yeah I think I have it" and then suddenly its just "why did I think I have this? I obviously don't." i recently read the dissociative disorders section on the dsm-5 and i meet all of the criteria. I guess I'm just scared of saying I have it then realizing I don't. anyway, hope you have a good day!

That happens to me literally all the time. It’s almost a weekly occurrence actually lol. But because I have such a hard problem with this still (and it persists for a lot of systems) I can’t give you a way to make this feeling go away, but i can help you understand it.

OSDD/DID are both “secretive” disorders. Their main goal is to remain a secret from the outside world AND the host so they can continue to protect the host and body as much as they can. Because of this, there can be times where they convince the host SO WELL that they’re not real as a way to try and maintain that secret existence. It’s almost like they’re making the host dissociate from what they’re experiencing as a way to keep the existence of alters a secret. This is why one day we can go from “ah yes. I am a system of 8 and these are their names” to literally 30 minutes later saying “why did I ever think i had DID/OSDD”

I would also like to add that there is no shame in saying you think you may be an OSDD system. For our system, it’s been quite beneficial, actually, to call ourselves an “undiagnosed OSDD-1b system” in our tumble bio.As long as you don’t claim to have a diagnosis and make it known you’re still figuring it out, there’s no shame. Even if you turn out to be wrong in the long run. (I mean just think, professionals get  diagnoses wrong all the time lmaoo)

TL;DR: Alters are so damn good at keeping the disorder a secret that they can make the host dissociate from their symptoms and trick the host into thinking it was all fake

stay safe xx

-clover

[thestarssystem]

aa hello i've written this like 10 times but it always got extremely long so i'm gonna try to keep it shorter hdbznj also i just wanted to say its okay, take ur time ! i hope u had a nice time on ur break :] also i'm glad you're fine with these asks cause i always end up rambling and stuff that makes the asks really long dgzbzj

i've been thinking about the possibility of a persecutor as well, but i wasn't really sure because i was like "why would the first alter that i directly hear/that presents themself to me be a persecutor" so ty for the response :]

& the thing about giving away information would make sense, the panic specifically started when i was feeling very ,, apathetic but on the upset scale? if that makes sense? and wanted to vent about it on a subreddit about venting, and i don't even remember what caused the panic, but i assumed it was either a. i started getting memories of the events i was trying to vent about (emotional flashback?) or b. it was just social anxiety acting up again because i knew i would do as much as writing it all out but i would never post it, but i think it could've been a mix of both + what you suggested (also quick note: when someone called me fox they also said stuff like their dms are open if i need to vent etc etc and i don't exactly remember what caused the panic to spike there? but i think i was just happy-ish someone cared and then i think something else happened in my mind that could've influenced me in a bad way (e.g self h4tred) but honestly i don't remember </3)

but another thing is, i've done that a bunch of times. for example i post neg posts / vents / rants a lot sometimes on a different website (on an account where i feel comfortable on, though i always delete them like 6 seconds later) and i posted one on the same subreddit on friday because i was panicking, i barely remember what happened when i was panicking though, and i kind of blocked everything out because i was too focused on the trigger (school). the voice hasn't been back for a while now so i'm starting to think it could've just been my imagination? though it could've been i'm just not able to hear it anymore / before that, or that it's not always there (which might/probably is the case if it wasnt me imagining stuff)

also, i have a few questions if thts okay :]

this might be a weird question, but is it normal to like- have a good relationship with alters almost right away, despite the fact it's your first time directly interacting? or have alters front even though you've never heard them / they've never interacted with you? i know those are two very contradicting statements, though i have no idea how to explain it further </3

one last thing: yesterday i had like 2 mental breakdowns because i got triggered by some stuff and i was up until like 3am (i went to bed at exactly 4am) and i did some stuff like switching up my profile, i was really tired and had been d1ssociating for hours after i got triggered. when i woke up today, and went on my profile, it all felt very ,, weird? like, it kind of caught me off guard when i realized my profile was different because i barely had memory of doing so (i could recall it though, it was just very very fuzzy and in one of them i felt like i wasn't even the one doing it). i just wanted to ask, could the d1ssociation have caused that, or is that just a normal thing for when you're tired?

sorry i didn't want to send just a regular update on things so i waited a bit until i had questions shxbxj hope you're doing well :]

- fox (i was a bit anxious because it was getting long so i kept them a bit short, so if u need me to elaborate on any of these i'd be glad to! i don't mind /gen)

oo wait i really quickly wanna make a small suggestion to you. Just something that we do a lot! If you have snapchat, i suggest creating a private story with yours as the only account that can see it and just use that to rant! It makes it easier to document for later (if you want) but also keeps it private and allows you to rant about what you’re feeling and get that nice moment of release haha.

Anyway, on to your actual questions:

So I would say that a lot of the time, it’s normal to not have a good relationship with alters right away. A lot of the time they’re kind of like strangers and you have to take the time to get to know them and be friends with them. For my system, we didn’t know of each other until we started talking about OSDD, but now I would consider most of us friends haha. Also, the first time that Daniel fronted was completely out of the blue. Granted, we didn’t know OSDD/DID at this point but there wasn’t even a slight sign that he was there haha. I would say that’s also fairly common. Maybe because they don’t want to talk to you, don’t need to talk to you, or are just too nervous to talk to you before hand.

Just normal dissociation could have caused the foggy memory about your profile, but the lack of sleep definitely didn’t help lol. When the brain is sleep deprived, it doesn’t have the energy to encode actions into memory like it normally. This is completely normal and happens all the time to people who are sleep deprived. However, dissociation (even without a switch) can also cause that weird “hazy” feeling. Because dissociation (without switches) normally causes a person to feel disconnected from themselves and from reality, it can cause processing of those memories to be a little wonky at times. In this state, you can still remember vaguely what happened, but may not recognize it as your own.

Also, you don’t have to worry about the length of your asks, Fox c: If you need more space to write then write your heart away. I’ll still give the same attention to your asks, regardless of length.

Stay safe xx

-Clover

[thestarssystem]

hi! i’m still questioning (idk if that’s the right word) if i’m a system (specifically osdd-1a or DID) and was wondering if it’s possible to suppress ur alters existences out of fear of having this disorder and it being real? And can this be harmful or upsetting to my (possible) alters or maybe be a reason why they won’t come to the front or talk much?

i used to hear voices a lot, specifically an alter who i believe to be a protector, arguing with another alter who seemed like a trouble maker (i could hear the protector more clearly than the other alter, this i believe to be because they weren’t close to the front, so it sounded like they were having their own convo, further away, but i could hear bits and pieces) but it started to scare me and i think i stopped allowing myself to tune in? i don’t know the right word to use. like it got overwhelming and scared me because from media, the way DID is portrayed really scared me.

ur blog has really helped me! thank u for reading this :-)

It is definitely possible to suppress your alters because of denial and fear, however, it’s REALLY BAD! There’s two main reasons why you shouldn’t do that and instead should actively try to maintain interaction with your alters:

1.) it creates a feeling of hatred between yourself and your alters. You (as the host and an alter yourself) end up fearing different alters fronting and develop a feeling of dislike towards them

2.) it causes alters to not like you as a host and as an alter. This can result in them sending negative messages to you, trying to switch more often with you, making you dissociate more, and (if you have amnesia) can create more dissociative amnesia for you.

Not to mention, just like a singlet, it’s emotionally harmful for alters to be ignored. Especially if being ignored has a direct trauma relationship. (note: them feeling ignored and having a bad relationship could definitely be a reason to not speak to the host. Just like how if you and a friend had a fight, you might not want to talk to them for a while.)

I really suggest trying to open more positive communication with your possible alters. If there’s anything you feel you’ve done wrong in your relationship with them, apologize. Make sure they know you want to form a better relationship with them and want to be friends. Alters are their own people and deserve to have good relationships with other. Plus, it’s very beneficial for the whole system to be friends with each other. It makes life a whole lot easier tbh.

Good luck with your journey! I hope i helped by answering this question c: lmk if you have any more questions!

-clover