#and sometimes very funny

[an-odd-idea]

I couldn’t find the alleged fanfiction in the figure skating tag. I wanted to know what it said, and most importantly, if someone who knows skating wrote it or if a normal person saw the video that broke containment and just scooped him right up no questions asked

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[bereft-of-frogs]

There’s that post that’s like ‘everyone should get into a tiny niche fandom at least once’ fully agree, that was really fun -- but I would like to add that everyone should get into a fandom where their opinions run counter to major fanon because it really teaches you about sticking to your guns and trusting your interpretation of the text without having to rely on peer validation

because WHAT are people talking about sometimes

[redsray]

I love the idea of the Wayne kids dropping extremely vague and disturbing comments during galas. Especially when in uncomfortable situations or if they're just bored. They pull out things from their nightlife too. Other times they just make shit up.

Socialite: Oh, dear, your cheeks look so sullen! Who sucked the life out of you?

Tim, dead serious: An old man with a goatee.

Socialite: Uh... what?

Dick: Once I broke my knee so badly that I swear I could see part of the bone sticking out.

Socialite: Good lord. How on earth did that happen?

Dick: Just clumsy gymnast things ^^

Socialite: The white streak is certainly a bold fashion choice.

Jason: I saw someone get decapitated once, so I could be doing worse in terms of what's on my head, yknow? At least I have one.

Socialite: What's your favourite colour, sweetie?

Damian: Red.

Socialite: Oh that's lovely!

Damian: Like the blood of my enemies.

Socialite: Oh.

Socialite: You must be new to these kind of events.

Duke: Uh, yeah, they're kind of scary. But I've had worse.

Socialite: Worse.

Duke: Well I've been left on top of a skyscraper before with no way down just to 'get over my fear of heights' so, yes.

Socialite: You don't talk very loud, do you? I can barely hear you.

Cass, with a straight face: If I spoke any louder every glass in the room would shatter.

Tim, behind her: I can vouch.

[jerseymuppet]

getting up on my soapbox for a moment. i find it laughable that nearly every time someone says they don’t like rap they cite hamilton and k-pop as the only rap they can tolerate. because everything else is just so violent and full of blatant consumerism. first off. so is k-pop. secondly. idk how to tell you the founding fathers were some of the most violent people around (coming from a black american descentant of slaves who is most likely related to thomas jefferson. shouldn’t have to explain the relevance here). thirdly. hamilton and k-pop both reference and interpolate rap. so idk what to tell you babes. you do like rap. you just don’t like black people. say it with your full chest next time.

[clownowo]

been replaying the Portal series I think this is where its heading

[somerandomcockroach]

[hawberries]

emilie cultivars

[notherpuppet]

Which part of your Alastor and Lucifer human comic (I forgot what It's named) is your favorite?

Ahhh I have so much fun with the “My Deer Nanny” AU, it’s hard to pick. Here are some of my fave moments (sorry it’s so disorganized haha)

Charlie meets Alastor 🌈 🦌

EDIT: OMG I FORGOT TO INCLUDE THIS FAVE MOMENT

Jealous Vox 😜📺

Lucifer and Alastor’s “hug” 🩸🫂

Huskerdust meets in Nanny AU 🐈‍⬛🕸️

Rosie, Alastor, and Lucifer trio 🥀📻🍎

Mimzy, Alastor, and Lucifer trio 🐥🍎🦌

Almimzy dancing 💃🏼🕺🏽

Lucifer dips Alastor 🪩

Doe-eyed Alastor 🥹🦌

Link to Masterpost

[parasolladyansy]

Vampire AU feat. Ansy

A little something funny after the last DxP update based on a silly convo I had with @nartothelar (also someone on IG commented they wanted to bite me for The Angst that happened so here’s your bitey revenge? XD)

Ingo would feed much more ravenously while hungry, but I can see him exercising some serious self control for his female friend with PTSD, taking only a bit so he can move again ;u; Meanwhile Ansy, like me, really doesn’t do well with things like blood tests (like getting hurt & bleeding is one thing, it’s a whole other thing to get her blood drawn or seeing someone’s blood being drawn T7T).

This quirk adds an extra silly layer to her friendship with vampire Ingo (& Emmet, when he’s also a vampire), especially when combined with her caring for her friends. Also yes, she ran from his & Emmet’s apartment to the blood bank & back, going “OH NO! OH NO! OH NO!” the whole way XD

(Also, personal HC: they always carry stuff to give any immediate first aid for willing “blood donors” - water, juice, snacks, warming pads, etc. Safety first!)

PS: I’d place this between the events of BW2 & Kalos, so before her pixie cut days, hehe.

[garliicgun]

this game breaks my heart…..! 💔

[andrewknightley]

anders in da2: its my fault... i was too angry.... i made justice into vengeance...

justice awakening after being out the fade for 5 minutes: im gonna avenge this man

[elsecrytt]

okay but jjk somnophilia is like

gojo "please please pleaaaaase let me put it in while you're sleeping PLEASE i swear i'll make you cum i proooomise please let's try it once pleeaaase. YOU can put it in ME whenever you want!!! any time any place anything you want in any of my holes!! wake me up with it!! it'll be soooo hot" satoru

vs

nanami "i have kink charts for both of us and they have sliding scales and notes section for each one. we can mark hard boundaries for what state of consciousness we want for ourselves or our partners, giving or receiving, what sex acts, etc. we'll set up a safe word and a safe gesture and then we can start trying things out" kento

vs

geto "sorry i fell asleep while eating you out, it will happen again. no, i won't stop eating you out when i fall unconscious. just tear me off your pussy if you don't like it" suguru

[lazylittledragon]

look i understand that humans are complex creatures who do bad things and are capable of learning from mistakes but also i think saying my ex should never get a good shag again is funny

[foldingfittedsheets]

My betrotheds mom is big in the SCA and does tons of hand sewing and period accurate clothes, she’s got several custom made outfits and enters competitions with her special projects.

One of them she meticulously researched and created a custom glove. I have no idea how much work goes into such a thing other than A Lot but whenever she tells us stories about these competitions she’s always slighted in favor of flashier offerings.

Her most recent endeavor was some kind of stiff collar. I’m not going to embarrass myself pretending to know the specifics but the original ones back in the day used layers of fabric and whale baleen to get a nice strong silhouette. She researched the crap out of it and wrote up a report to go along with the item.

At the judging one of the judges commented, “Well, it’s alright, but it’s so disappointing that it’s not fully authentic, why didn’t you use whale baleen?”

She sputtered out, “Well, if you’d read my report you’d know it’s because it’s illegal!”

[kens-ramblings]

so ik it’s not cannon accurate but,,,

i need a fic of tim just crashing out.

like he gets so sick of like damian and jason talking about how weak he is and shit like that that he’s like “yall realize lady shiva was my one of my FIRST teachers, and i was the first robin she trained. i had to train under b AFTER he already lost a robin. you DONT think he was 10x harder on me than any of you guys???? there’s a reason my training videos are mainly redacted without bruce’s or my permission. i got ra’s al ghul BEGGING ME to join his league or have my children. i get gifts from him WEEKLY. do you KNOW how many of his little ninja i fight per DAY??? nahh im sick of this shit let’s take it to the mats” and just demolishing both of them at the same time.

i just think it’d be very funny. i just like fics of people who pretend to be weaker than they are(or they just never really have a reason to go full tilt so they just don’t) get sick of holding back and just losing it :D