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bonecorn · 3 years ago

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I love your anatomy/references posts & I love skulls and skeletons & I would love to know how you convince people to give you their animal heads to clean. Also any bone cleaning tips for suburban areas?? When I was living on a farm it was easy to leave stuff out and let the bugs take care of it but my parents said hard no to dead things bleaching on the porch

Oh this is very easy!

Find a friend or acquaintance with land and leave your stuff there. Bug cleaning and tub maceration don't need a lot of hands-on attendance so you can check in however often you like.

There's also "hot water maceration" where you simmer (dont boil!) fresh heads in hot water and remove the cooked meat by hand. Make sure you scramble the brains first and then cook away inside or with a camping stove on the porch. And "bleaching" which is done with hydrogen peroxide can be done inside since the skulls are already clean by then anyway.

I don't actually convince people to give me their pets. For livestock, I ask because most people aren't emotionally attached to their livestock.

For pets, I wait to be offered the remains. More on that under the cut.

TLDR: Know the pet owner, wait to be offered bodies rather than asking. Make sure they are always in control. Ask for livestock no problem. Don't let scavengers eat euthanized meat.

holy crap lol

I don't ask for pet bodies. The trick is to be very open and excited about what you do so that people who know you know about bones and know that you are respectful of animal remains. Then, when a beloved pet dies, they might think about you.

Open up the conversation on death before it's relevant

You can also plant the seed ahead of time during a conversation about bones while the pet in question is alive and healthy. "Sometimes I do pets if their owner is ok with it, though most want to bury. Have you ever thought about that for Baxter?" It's in SUPER poor taste to do this while an animal is dying, when you'll need to be way more tactful.

Know your friend well enough to guess their feelings on it

It SUPER depends on the person and how they view bodies and death. My ex's dog passed away and he was always queasy about corpses. I comforted him and cried with him while his beloved 15 year old dog declined and passed. I didn't ask or even mention it because I knew him enough to know that he would say no, and that asking would be painful and upsetting for him to think about. Same with my dear friend and her 20 year old cat. She had a beautiful pet graveyard with headstones and everything. You just know not to ask some people because traditionally laying bodies to rest is important to them.

Other pet owners are chill about it, ESPECIALLY if they come from a livestock background. Livestock people are used to sending their animals to be recycled into glue and wax when they die, because it's generally not feasible to bury or cremate a horse. If someone does plan to take that on, you know they are absolutely dedicated to traditional burial and won't give you anything.

Make it their choice to offer, rather than it being your request

Anyway. If you know the person, and you know they might be ok with giving up their pet's body due to how they view bodies and death, then you work on making them think about you. First, you comfort and do everything you can to help the person through their grief. If you weren't already planning on doing that, then you have no business asking for their pet. Do not comfort someone in order to get something out of them. That's disgusting. Just straight up ask them for their pet and know that they will view you as tactless and rude, but its better than manipulating them.

What I do is not manipulation, it's reminding people what you do and then letting them make their own decisions. When your friend is feeling a little better and is not crying, you can ask about logistics. I ask "What do you plan to do for burial/with the body?" and that usually makes them think about me and what I do with bodies. If they already have a meaningful spot picked out to bury or scatter/keep ashes, then that means the body is important to them and I shouldn't ask further.

At this point, they should realize what you could use the body for and think about how they feel about that. This is when my sister (who has a livestock background) offered her dog to me. We talked about how she thought of bodies, and she thought that the soul is the only thing that matters and once her dog passes there's nothing important left. I did not say anything to convince her, these were all her own thoughts.

It's very VERY important to respect and love the pet owner because they're extremely vulnerable and emotionally raw. That's why I don't straight up ask, because when you're losing a pet, you don't want to feel like someone is trying to gain something from you.

If your friend says they don't know or haven't decided what to do for the body, you can gently say "Let me know if you want me to help bury it, to take it with me, or to just be there for you." This is a close-ended statement and not a question. A question means that your friend has to come up with an answer right there and then, while an offer is actionable. This puts the power and autonomy in your friend's hands, so that when they make a decision it comes fully from their wants and needs and is not about you and what you want.

Be there for them even if you get nothing out of it

If they don't offer at this point, they're not going to. Now hold up your end of the bargain and continue to comfort and help through the grieving process. Again, if you aren't already invested in this person enough to want to soothe and comfort and be there for the human person in the equation, then you have no business asking for their pet. When a pet dies, your first concern should be to the person. If it's not, then you aren't close enough to ask for goodies.

Helping someone grieve is not payment for their pet's body. If you realize they aren't going to give you something in return for your comfort and so you abandon them, you're a terrible person using their grief to manipulate them for your own gain. Comfort is not payment. Closeness in grief is a metric by which you measure "Do I have any business to ask?"

The pet owner runs the show, not you

Throughout this process, stress that the owner can change their mind at any time. You don't want the owner to think "I hate this but I can't back out now because I promised..." Even when they animal is all wrapped up an in your vehicle and ready to go, quietly tell the owner that they can still choose what happens and if they have second thoughts, that's ok and you won't be mad.

My sister let me be there for putting her dog down and it was all about her and her love for her dog. She carried him out and laid him in my trunk and we stood in the rain and talked and hugged. She then told me she was happy that he could bring happiness to someone in life and now still in death, but that she didn't want to know anything. I agreed not to tell her or post anything about processing her dog, so for her it would be like burial. The same thing happened with my other friend's horse. She spent some time with him and then as soon as he passed she drove away and let me do what I wanted. She didn't want to hear Any of it. Again, I didn't ask or even offer, she came up with the idea of giving me the body all on her own even before I knew he was dying.

Horse people are much closer to pet owners than livestock owners, but they are used to sending their friend's bodies off to a different kind of processing (at Tallow factories, livestock remains are ground up, cut apart, cooked, and spun around to extract various substances that become soap, glue, candles, etc) so they know not to think about what happens after death. It still depends on how well you know the owner and know how they think about death, but if you offer to handle logistics like dealing with the tallow guy, they can actually save money by letting you have it.

You're actually doing livestock a favor

Livestock people are generally chill and have a much more utility/asset view of their animals. If the animal doesn't even have a name they probably don't care what happens when it's dead. In fact, most farmers will jump at the chance to give you their animal for free because calling the tallow company to haul it away costs them money. This is also why in areas with lots of livestock, you sometimes find bodies dumped in ditches or left on the side of the road, because the farmer didn't want to pay to get rid of it so they made it everyone else's problem. Even pet animals like dogs and cats are more Utility than pure companions on a farm, so you might have a better chance of getting remains from a farmer than a neighbor.

One more thing about pets and livestock.

When I find a dead deer, I flay it open and let the vultures eat it. For domestic animals, they are often put to sleep via chemical/drug.

THIS IS POISONOUS TO SCAVENGERS.

DO NOT LET SCAVENGERS EAT EUTHANIZED ANIMALS

Seriously. If you like nature, you need to protect it. Deflesh it yourself, throw all the meat/blood/offal away or bury it 6 feet down. Idk what it does to the environment so I always freeze it and then throw it away on garbage day.

Rot bacteria and beetle larvae dermestids don't mind. In fact, dermestid droppings and pupa shells can be analyzed for toxins by forensic scientists to determine cause of death. Neat! Just make sure that if you process outdoors, the remains are EXTREMELY SECURE and cannot be opened by vultures, coyotes, or wild pigs.

Remember the living, human person

I know I look very clinical by picking apart human emotions, but I respond, feel, love, and grieve just like everyone else. I didn't plan how to get any of the animals in the above stories, I just acted on instinct and these are the ones where that paid off well.

Most of the time if I go "huh. I feel that may not go over well" I can then take that feeling apart and figure out why. So hopefully explaining how my feelings work it can help you listen to your most useful and most compassionate ones.

The living person is always more important than a dead pet. Sometimes you can get the dead pet without distressing your friend, sometimes you shouldn't even try.

Respecting the dead

A final note on working with pets vs wild animals. This is someone's family member, so don't play puppet with it like you might with a skunk skin. Don't take pictures of any part of the process until they are rendered to bones. Pictures of dead pet species are even more distressing to the general public than wild animals, and sick freaks might take your photos and send them to people for kicks or attention. Better to just not have photos than for that to happen.

What processing a pet feels like

Working on a pet is always going to be different for you, the vulture, than a wild animal. Everything you see is touched by human hands. My sister's dog was... beautiful. You don't really realize how moved you're going to be by seeing the perfect amount of healthy fat covering, or beautiful muscles that speak of exercise and attention. She rescued this starving pup and turned him into the healthiest animal I have ever seen. She's a vet assistant and the care and love she put into this dog had me sitting there crying while I held his paws; with their perfectly maintained clipped and sanded nails. I'd only met the dog once for a few minutes when he was alive, but his body was a canvas and every inch was painted with layers and layers of love. It made me so, so sad that his neurological issues couldn't be helped because his body was proof of someone who would stop at nothing to cure what could be cured, and that the last months of his life were happier than he ever imagined.

On the flip side, pets whose bodies show signs of neglect and abuse are going to hit you harder than any deer could. The dog I found discarded in a garbage bag on the side of the road had rotten teeth and nails so long they curled over themselves into hoops. An overgrown and suffering deer is just the sign of nature taking its course. An overgrown and suffering dog is the sign of human cruelty, of shirked responsibility.

Most pets you get will between these two dogs. No owner is perfect. Most old dogs have lost teeth to rot, sick cats too weak to scratch properly may have overgrown nails.

Death as beauty

A pet's body usually a beautiful story full of ups and downs; of owners doing things wrong and then doing things right. A vulture or an artist can read a body like rings on a tree and feel the heart beat in their chest that tells them how strong and full of love this life had been. You need to be ready for this part. Every detail is a message from your fellow human and even though we are all animals and we decompose into the same dirt, we're meant to connect to each other here and now.

Keep your emotions open when working with remains.

Listen to what they have to teach you.

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missnight0wl · 3 years ago

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Secrets and Riddles. Chapter 9: Different Shades of Lies

Summary: Jacob discovers that working for R is always dangerous, even if it doesn’t involve the Cursed Vaults. He struggles with his new life of crime and being an adult.

Warnings: The death of a background character.

Words: 6100

A/N: A part of this chapter is inspired by the discussion with @indigobackfire, which I’ll link at the end not to spoil anything.

Chapter [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

Autumn, 1985

It’d be unreasonable to blame a teenager for being scared of a mysterious organisation that threatens to hurt their loved ones. Yet, Jacob often blamed himself for the decisions he’d made. Could he avoid everything that happened by confiding in Dumbledore right away? Or would he become an orphan at age fourteen? Was there anything he could’ve done differently?

Would he still be in the same place he was right now and would he be the same person? Would he be weaker, or on the contrary: more ruthless? And would he end up meeting Patricia? Because while he didn’t like where he was currently, he didn’t really want to change everything about the path which led him here either. Miss the things he’d learnt… It was hard not to think about this when he was dealing with another shady business – which occupied a big part of his life nowadays.

Once Sullivan realised that they entered the Sunken Vault for nothing, he was furious. For a moment, Jacob thought that he wouldn’t be able to convince him that he had no idea about any key. But then he started his narrative that no other person wanted it all to be over – which wasn’t entirely untrue. Having real emotions to evoke made it easier to appear believable, though he felt that Sullivan was watching him more closely ever since anyway.

Shortly after that, Jacob was instructed to learn more about the key from the old case led by Alastor Moody. A Dark Wizard stole it then from the Merpeople living at the Black Lake, believing that it’d lead him to great treasures. In reality, though, the key was important only because of its cultural value. Either way, the whole situation resulted in a pretty serious conflict. Little did Sullivan know that Jacob and Patricia had checked this lead long ago, and that’s how Jacob was already familiar with all these details. Of course, he had to play along. He also wouldn’t dare to suggest Sullivan to contact Mad-Eye in person instead. After all, he was his supervisor. But Sullivan obviously didn’t want to draw attention to himself, asking about the case from twenty years ago. Besides, it probably was just another test for Jacob.

Jacob’s plan was to interview Mad-Eye as a young journalist. He decided that looking for the connection between the old case and the Cursed Vaults should be convincing enough. For once, he was actually glad that Rita Skeeter turned his expulsion into the newspaper sensation. During the conversation, he was trying to make Mad-Eye curious just slightly more than necessary. He couldn’t give out too much, and he had to be careful about it, but it was an opportunity to plant a seed in the Auror’s mind, in case they’d need it in the future. And even if it wouldn’t lead to anywhere, perhaps he’d make Sullivan a little nervous.

Of course, Jacob couldn’t face Mad-Eye as himself. R apparently decided that training him in Human Transfiguration wouldn’t be the best idea, but on special occasions, he was given the enchanted bracelet. It didn’t change his appearance, although it was making him unrecognisable for anyone he interacted with. There were moments when it seemed like Moody might be seeing through it anyway, possibly thanks to his magical eye. But even if it was the case, he didn’t admit it openly.

That being said, usually, nobody cared whether or not Jacob would be recognised. Just like Patricia predicted, R kept Jacob in the area of questionable deals. Every so often, he’d smuggle information or mysterious packages. Sometimes, he’d be tasked with finding people. Individuals indebted to R or who could be somehow useful to them. His Legilimency was quite useful in different situations, but unfortunately, it also quickly turned into the subject of rumours. It became well-known that Jacob works for dangerous employers, that it’s wiser not to start a conflict with himself either, and that on top of that, he can read minds. In other words, his job was harder and harder as people were unlikely to cooperate, and his old methods were rarely effective anymore. Quite often, he didn’t even have a chance to approach his opponents calmly. Just like that one time in a small town in Wales…

Jacob was supposed to bring a bloke called John Lewis, better known as Johnny the Trickster. He had some debt to R, and he wasn’t willing to pay it, so they wanted to allow him to work for it. Jacob didn’t know much more details. He’d tracked his target pretty easily, though. As far as he knew, nobody should’ve recognised him in that particular location, so when he was walking in direction of the pub in a mostly wizarding neighbourhood, he hoped he’d be able to simply discuss everything. Sadly, he was wrong. Jacob was welcomed with a curse in the face as soon as Johnny saw him entering. Now, they were in the middle of a duel.

“I just want to talk!” yelled Jacob from behind a column, trying to figure out the best line of attack with the least risk of damages to their surroundings. There were no clients left, but he preferred to be careful nonetheless.

“Well, perhaps I don’t!” Johnny yelled back.

“Perhaps you should’ve thought about it before making deals with wrong people.”

Johnny only cackled. He was trying to act cocky, still chewing his gum obnoxiously, but the franticness of his attacks exposed his nervousness. He was about to strike again when two men entered the building. They quickly examined the scene. Jacob noticed that they both had their wands already out.

“Got some troubles, Johnny?” asked one of them.

Jacob deflected his attack in the last moment. He was fighting all three of them for a while, but once he started getting cornered, he Apparated to the square near the pub. It was early evening on a weekday. He scanned the area hurriedly, but it was seemingly empty. His opponents quickly left outside, though, and raced towards him.

“Running away, kid?” Johnny mocked him. “Looks like you’re not as tough as they say!”

“I’m not the one who needs a backup from friends,” replied Jacob, trying to stun one of his cronies.

In an open space, Jacob was doing much better, even though he was outnumbered. He just needed to get rid of Johnny’s companions. Then, it’d be much easier to persuade his main target to come with him – with reason or a threat. He managed to cut the arm of one of them; not too deep, yet enough to slow him down. Johnny rushed to help him. Briefly, Jacob thought that he’s getting the advantage. But then, he realised that a massive memorial plaque was moved from its place a couple of feet away, and now it’s speeding in his direction. At the drop of a hat, he blasted it into pieces. The explosion almost tripped him over. When he caught balance and his eyes adjusted back to seeing, he noticed that one of the bigger shards hit Johnny. He was lying unconscious, and his hurt companion was checking on him anxiously.

“He fucking killed Johnny!” he spat eventually, glaring at Jacob.

In the next second, two wizards charged at Jacob with double strength. It was harder and harder to keep deflecting their attacks, especially since that last sentence was still echoing in Jacob’s head. Suddenly, one of the curses slipped through his shield, cutting his hand and almost making him drop his wand. This was the moment when he decided that he couldn’t deal with two outraged opponents, and so he Disapparated before any of them could reach him.

He went directly to one of R’s quarters in Birmingham. It was an old derelict factory, which appeared to Muggles as a very old building in an extremely bad shape with many danger warnings. It didn’t look much better in reality, though. R didn’t always care about aesthetics. The place was functional, and it’s all that mattered. Still, Jacob didn’t enter right away. He was leaning on the wall, breathing heavily. He was supposed to be there with Johnny, but now Johnny was dead – because of him.

He had never killed a man before. He got used to hurting people, but it was easier to accept once he realised that otherwise, he’d have a few broken bones at least a couple of times a month and possibly a missing limb or two by now. He could handle most duels and had good control over how much damage he made. Yet, this case… He glanced at his bleeding hand and clenched his fist to stop its trembling. Then, he hurriedly cast the Bandaging Charm and finally entered the building.

He went up the stairs to the open space. The inside was seemingly empty, but after a while, a man appeared in the corridor.

“I need to speak to Sullivan,” Jacob said firmly.

The man stood there for a minute, pondering something, and then disappeared again, leaving Jacob alone. Not knowing how long he’d have to wait, he came closer to a tall window and looked at the city. Eventually, he heard footsteps, so he turned around to see Sullivan approaching. His expression was emotionless, as usual.

“I--” Jacob started.

“I know what happened,” Sullivan cut in sharply.

“You do?”

“Yeah.” He stood in front of him and watched him intently. “Don’t worry about it. It happens. Sometimes you have to work a bit harder to find the right arguments, sometimes you have to kill a man. He knew the risk of his decisions.”

Jacob looked at him, startled. “What? No, it was an accident…”

“Of course it was,” replied Sullivan. “It doesn’t change the fact that a man is dead, Jacob.” He paused and then touched Jacob’s shoulder. “But as I said, don’t worry about it. His friends won’t seek revenge either, I’ll take care of that.”

Jacob flinched slightly when Sullivan’s grasp tightened. The man’s eyes went to his bandaged hand, but before he’d ask about it, Jacob put his hands in the pockets of his coat, trying to act casually.

“That’s all for today,” Sullivan continued. Jacob nodded and was about to leave when he was stopped. “Jacob? You can have a day off tomorrow. You won’t be called.”

Once Jacob left the factory, he went straight to Knockturn Alley. After moving out from 13 Saiford Avenue, he needed a new place to stay. He couldn’t go back to the Three Broomsticks. Not only he’d hate to exploit Madam Rosmerta like that, but also it wasn’t the most convenient location. Luckily, he found a shelter in another pub: the White Wyvern. Admittedly, it wasn’t exactly an inn, but there were four rooms upstairs, so the owner, Linda, rented Jacob one of them.

Linda was a middle-aged witch. Both her appearance and temperament reflected the Spanish side of her family. Jacob quickly discovered that she had a no-nonsense approach to life and business, though perhaps it had more to do with her profession than anything else as there actually was something about Linda that often made Jacob think of Madam Rosmerta. Of course, the clientele here was very different than at the Three Broomsticks, so some things had to be adequately adjusted. But Linda had a kinder side as well. She saw a kid who’d made some stupid choices, and so she decided to help him. To return that favour, Jacob was helping at the pub on more busy days whenever he could.

Still, working at the pub wasn’t his only occupation in his free time. Even though he was getting a paycheque from R, he liked to make some extra money on the side, preferably in a more legal way. Usually, he was helping at various shops, but his favourite part-time job had to be at Flourish and Blotts. He had to work at the back of the bookshop or simply at night, but it’s just the right conditions for organising new deliveries or doing stocktaking. And Madam Villanelle was understanding enough to let Jacob spend some time reading, too, as long as his tasks were completed.

This time, however, Jacob wasn’t planning to go check Flourish and Blotts. He was also hoping that the White Wyvern was gonna be calm because all he wanted to do was to lock himself in his room. When he entered the pub eventually, it was mostly empty.

“Hard day?” Linda greeted him from behind the bar.

“Yeah, you can say that…” he replied, forcing a smile. “Got anything for me?”

Linda put The Daily Prophet on the counter. “Just the newspaper.”

“Thanks.”

“Violet was asking about you, y’know.”

“Oh. Like…” he hesitated. “Did she come here?”

She smirked. “She had a meeting.”

“Oh, okay. Thank you.” He rubbed his temples. “D’you need help today?”

“No, I’m good.”

“Okay…” Jacob nodded. “I’m gonna be upstairs if anything changes.” Linda looked at him more seriously. “I’m fine. I’m just tired.”

“Your hand is also just tired?”

He grabbed his own bandaged hand, which was getting a bit numb. “It’s nothing,” he reassured her. Then, he took the newspaper and headed to the stairs. “Call me if you need me!”

Jacob’s room wasn’t big, but it was enough for his needs. There was a bed, a bedside table, a wardrobe, two chairs, a larger table, and a mirror. He threw the newspaper on the bed and reached for his supply of healing ointment. He was running out again, but it should still be enough to dress his hand. Once he was done, he started browsing The Daily Prophet. He tried to do it regularly, mainly because of information about himself and the Cursed Vaults. There was less and less of those, though, as time was passing by. Nothing unusual caught his attention, so he put the newspaper down and lit a cigarette. He stared at his own reflection in the mirror.

“It doesn’t change the fact that a man is dead, Jacob.”

He ran his fingers through his hair and turned his head to the side. Once he finished smoking, he fell on the bed and gazed at the ceiling for a long time.

The next day, he went to Flourish and Blotts. Coincidently, it turned out that Madam Villanelle got two deliveries and a delayed one, so it kept Jacob occupied for a couple of hours. Later on, he decided to help Linda with some chores they’d never had time for. He kept in mind Sullivan’s promise that he wouldn’t be called, but there was never any regularity to it anyway, so it didn’t really matter. He thought about meeting Violet, yet he couldn’t bring himself to that. The day after that, he stayed at the White Wyvern as well. Only the following day, he decided that he should probably finally see her.

Jacob and Violet started dating at some point in spring that year – although “dating” might’ve been too big a word for their relationship. They were hanging out together more often once Jacob moved to Knockturn Alley. Soon, it became more intentional than accidental. Every now and then, their hands touched, and at one point, their lips met. At first, Jacob was reluctant, worrying that R might target Violet. But she claimed she’s not afraid of that. Eventually, he was staying at her place for the night once in a while.

They didn’t have expectations towards each other as they both usually were busy with more important things. Still, there was something about Violet which was making Jacob come back to her. He often thought that she didn’t really belong to Knockturn Alley. She was strong and fragile at the same time. She was cheeky and witty but also gentle. Her skin was fair, and her eyes actually appeared violet in certain light.

Jacob knocked at the door of Violet’s apartment, and she greeted him with a beam soon after. Her brown hair got a little curly, suggesting that she was in the middle of brewing something. He leant forward for a kiss.

“Am I interrupting?” he asked, pulling away.

“Never.”

She turned around and went back inside, so Jacob followed after her.

“So, what you’re brewing?” he asked, entering the main room with the bubbling cauldron.

“You tell me,” she replied teasingly.

He took a closer look at the potion, immediately recognising its mother-of-pearl sheen and steam rosing in characteristic spirals. “Is it Amortentia?”

“Aha,” she confirmed blithely. “What’s wrong?” she added, seeing his changed expression.

He hesitated for a moment. “Don’t you think it’s… not right?”

“What d’you mean?”

“You know what I mean. Vi, it can be really dangerous in the wrong hands.”

“Well, it doesn’t have to go in the wrong hands, innit?”

“And why would anyone want to buy it from you? Violet… You know this potion doesn’t create real feelings. You can’t just make someone love you.”

She was staring at him seriously. “No, you can’t.”

“So, don’t you care that someone might abuse it?”

“I didn’t say that,” she replied blandly. “But I also care about money.”

It took him off guard, so he swallowed his words. He still was forgetting sometimes that Violet’s world was different than his – though, perhaps, they were becoming more and more similar.

He took a deep breath and paused. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be this rough,” he said quietly.

Violet raised her eyebrows but said nothing and focused back on her potion. After a moment of awkward silence, Jacob sat at the table with the cauldron, resting his head on his hand.

“So,” Violet spoke eventually. “You’re gonna tell me what d’you smell?”

He looked up at her. Her expression was softer again, and he noticed a familiar playful twinkle in her eyes. Yet, he didn’t answer.

“You know how Amortentia smells like, right?” she asked.

“I know it smells differently for everyone.”

“Exactly. What is it for you then?”

He couldn’t help but smile and join her little game. He leant closer to the cauldron and took a whiff. The aroma was alluring and somewhat overwhelming but in a pleasant way. He focused to distinguish its individual elements.

“Old books,” he started thoughtfully.

“Of course,” Violet cut in briefly.

“… The air when it’s raining… And…” He wondered a bit longer. “Cinnamon.”

He needed more time to recognise the last scent, but it definitely was cinnamon. He just wasn’t sure why. They were using it frequently for baking at home, but none of his favourite flavours was really cinnamon based. Maybe it was the autumn season that made him more nostalgic for this taste in particular, though.

“Hm, interesting…” Violet murmured.

“What?” She only shrugged, smirking flirtatiously. “And what do you smell?”

“Oh, I’m not telling you.”

“What? Why?”

She knitted her brow. “I’m not gonna expose myself like that.”

“Well, I just did, didn’t I?”

“Yeah. But it was your decision.”

Jacob stood up and came closer to her, approaching her from behind because she was still stirring the potion. He embraced her waist with one hand and flicked her hair with the other one. Her dress was exposing the upper part of her back. He gently ran his fingers on her skin and kissed the nape of her neck. She didn’t smell like Amortentia, but he liked her scent nonetheless. It was more flowery, like jasmine.

“What about: You show me yours and I’ll show you mine?” he asked in a slightly lower voice.

Violet turned around now, giving him a daring look. She leant for a kiss, but then she froze when she felt a vibration on his chest. Jacob shut his eyes, irritated, feeling it too.

“Damn it…” he cursed. “I’m so sorry, Vi.”

“I know,” she said, pulling away.

“I can’t ignore it…”

“I know,” she repeated. She appeared a little disappointed but understanding. “Go on, I’m busy anyway,” she added with a smile.

Jacob dithered, watching her closely. Finally, he took his things, and after a goodbye kiss, he left the apartment. While walking downstairs, he reached to his chest pocket to pull out a still vibrating coin, and he looked at it with resentment. It was R’s method of controlling him. Whenever he was called, he had to check in at the factory in Birmingham. He was never told it directly, but he could only imagine that if it took him too long, he’d have to face the consequences. It made it rather hard to plan anything in his free time, but that was the point after all. Sometimes, he’d be called about a new task to do. The other times, it was simply about making sure he’s not scheming behind their back. Jacob was also pretty sure that they didn’t stop trying to spy on him, but since he got good at avoiding it thanks to years of experience, they apparently decided that psychological control might be more useful.

He Apparated at R’s quarters and entered the building. Sullivan was waiting for him in the same spot they’d met last time.

“What is it?” Jacob asked crisply.

“How you’re doing?” he responded with a question.

“Uhm… I’m fine?” Sullivan was observing him intently. “D’you want something? Or that’s all?”

He hung back. “No. I need you to take over one research,” he said at last, handing him a file. “I had someone else doing it, but I don’t trust them to be thorough enough. You’ll find all information inside.”

Jacob peeked inside the file. “Any deadline?”

“No, take your time. Just keep me updated.”

“Sure…”

“Did you learn anything new about the key?”

“No,” Jacob replied collectedly.

Sullivan was watching him a little longer, but then he nodded, and so Jacob walked away. He returned straight to Knockturn Alley, but before he entered the White Wyvern, he was approached by Mundungus Fletcher.

“We need to talk,” he said nervously in hushed tones.

“Alright. Let’s go in then.”

Fletcher hesitated. “I reckon Linda might still be mad at me, so…”

Jacob chuckled. “Course.” He scanned the surroundings and directed them to one of the lanes. Before continuing, he inconspicuously cast Muffliato around them. “What is it, Dung?”

“I can’t keep yer key any longer.”

“Why not?”

He hung back again. “Cause it’s too stressful…”

“Dung--”

“No, Jacob. I got you the key, even though it wasn’t a part of our deal--”

“And I’m very grateful for that.”

“… and I’m keepin’ it for a year now. I ‘ave enough of my own problems!”

“Did you ever suspect that anyone might know you have the key?” asked Jacob calmly.

“Well… no,” replied Fletcher, a bit ruffled.

“Did you get threats for unknown reasons over that year? Did anyone spy on you?”

“Well… not exactly.”

Jacob grinned. “So, what’s the problem?”

“The problem is that I don’t want to be involved in that!”

“Alright, alright…” Jacob went on reassuringly. “I’ll get the key from you. But I have to ask you for one more favour.” Fletcher glanced at him suspiciously. “I need you to deliver something to Hogwarts. Just drop it somewhere, it’s even better if you won’t tell me what you did exactly. Hm? I’ll repay you; I promise.”

Fletcher grimaced, but then he sighed. “Fine.”

“Wicked. Give me a day or two to prepare everything, and you’re gonna be free.”

Once Jacob was back in his room, he got to his new research task right away. The previous notes he also got were quite chaotic, so technically, it was more additional trouble than a head start. By the time he was done with initial organising, it was pretty late already, yet he pushed himself to work longer. He didn’t even realise when he fell asleep at the table.

He woke up with a stiff neck and the book pressed to his face. After he’d taken care of his basic needs, he decided to prepare a package for Fletcher. It took him a while to figure out what exactly put there, but he was content with his choices in the end. Finding Fletcher himself was an easier part. Most afternoon, Jacob dedicated to his new research, which still was pretty cryptic to him. However, when it started getting dark, he got ready to visit Violet. After all, it was Halloween.

She welcomed him as usual with her bright smile, and he followed her inside. He immediately noticed that Amortentia was still brewing in the cauldron, although there was something off about it.

“Shouldn’t it be done by now?” he asked curiously. “Or you got another order?”

“No, I started over,” she explained casually.

“Why?”

Violet shrugged. “I wanna try to improve it.”

“Meaning?”

She gave him a mischievous look. “If I’m correct in my assumptions, it should increase already existing romantic feelings instead of creating infatuation towards a giver.” *

“And if you have no romantic feelings?”

“Then it shouldn’t work,” Violet replied confidently. “Or it will create general arousal, I’m not sure yet. The point is that if you buy it to enrich your existing love life, you won’t see any difference. Otherwise, you’ll be disappointed.”

Jacob chuckled. “So it’s more of an aphrodisiac then?”

“Kind of, I guess.”

He stood right behind her, peeking over her shoulder. The potion seemed to have a slightly more purple colour, but Jacob smelled the same scent as previously.

“Clever,” he said pensively.

“I know,” she replied teasingly, turning around to him. “Most of my ideas are clever. I sometimes need a little inspiration, though,” she added more sincerely. “Could you pass me the Standard Ingredient from the cabinet?”

He walked across the room and came back with a medium jar. He pulled the chair and sat down, watching how she added the herbs and stirred the potion.

“Aren’t you worried you might get in trouble?” he asked with concern.

“Most people don’t really understand potions. I can always use their ignorance against them. Besides, I can take care of myself.” She smirked and bit her lips. “Wanna try it?” she asked all of a sudden. His reaction had to be more nervous than he thought because Violet laughed. “I’m just joking. It’s not ready anyway.”

“Oh…” Jacob exhaled slowly, feeling unexpectedly embarrassed. “So…” he went on, trying to sound more casual. “What d’you want to do for Halloween? We could go out… or not. I can prepare something here, whatever you’re in the mood for…”

She gazed at him over the steam. “I reckon you could use some rest tonight.”

“What?”

She inhaled deeply and smiled. “We need to talk,” she said, almost apologetically.

Jacob’s heart skipped a beat. It was nowhere close to how he’d imagined this evening. Yet, he followed Violet to join her on the couch. He looked her in the eye, knowing what he’s about to hear.

“I think we should break up,” she said seriously.

“Vi…” he started uncertainly. “If that’s about the last time… You know I can’t ignore those calls. You always knew. I--”

“No, I know,” she interrupted him. “But it’s not that. I should’ve brought it up a while ago.”

“What is it then?”

She took his hand, pausing for a moment. Her touch was delicate and warm. “Jacob, you have so much to give… And I love having what we have. But I know you think you’re not giving enough. And I can see you feel bad about it.”

Jacob frowned. “What?”

“Listen…” Now she was holding him with her both hands. “I don’t know what exactly you need right now, Jacob. But it’s not a lover.” She looked at him tenderly. “If anything, I think you could use a good friend. And I’d like to think it’s a role I could fill.”

He stared at her speechlessly. Many emotions crossed his mind, but strangely enough, one of them was… a relief. He wasn’t sure if that was because of what Violet said, or because of her calming presence. On the other hand, a quiet voice in his head was telling him that he let her down.

“I don’t know what to say…” he muttered.

“You don’t have to say anything. Just…” She put her hand on his cheek. “Don’t be a stranger, okay? You know where to find me if you need me. And I know where to find you.”

There was no sign of resentment in her expression. In fact, she might appear a little worried. Jacob took her hand, still resting on his face, and brought it to his lips to kiss the back of it. “Violet Riley, you’re a treasure,” he whispered.

“I know,” she replied with a chuckle. “And I was serious about that rest. You look terrible.” Now he laughed, too. “Did something happen?”

He shook his head. “No. I’m… just tired.” He squeezed her hand one last time. “So… I’ll be going.”

It was weird to leave her place just like that. Yet, at the same time, it somehow felt right. Still, once again, Jacob kept wondering on his way back to the White Wyvern: what if.

“You’re back early,” Linda noticed when he arrived at the pub.

“Yeah, well…” He shrugged. “How are the things here?”

“Calm, for now.”

He nodded slowly and sighed. “I’ll be upstairs then.”

He barely entered his room and lit his cigarette when he heard a knocking sound from the window. As he was expecting, it was a ginger tabby cat, waiting to be let in.

“Well, hello, Mittens,” said Jacob, opening the window. “What you’ve been up to today?” The cat entered the room, stepping on the table, and meowed. “Oh, really? And what Linda said to that?” Mittens meowed a bit quieter. “Yeah, I thought she would.”

Mittens technically was a stray cat, but he was spending so much time around the White Wyvern that he could’ve been as well Linda’s. Once Jacob showed him more attention, he started coming to his room every now and then, whether it was from the pub directly or through the window. And now, as usual, he reached his front paws up, demanding to be picked up.

“Come here, you little furball.”

Jacob stood by the window until he finished smoking. Then, he lied back on the bed, with Mittens getting comfortable on his chest.

“You think I fucked up, Mittens?” he murmured absentmindedly.

The cat trilled, barely opening his eyes. At some point, Jacob drifted off too. He was woken up soon by knocking on the door, though. He got startled, and Mittens instinctively clawed his shirt, reacting to a sudden movement. Jacob sucked air through his teeth and carefully pulled him away. Then, he went to answer the door. It was Linda.

“Sorry for interrupting, but there’s a man downstairs, asking for you.”

Jacob rubbed his eyes. “Did he introduce himself?”

She shook her head. “He only said he’s a friend. He might be in his forties, pretty tall, light hair. Quite elegant,” she went on. “Has a slit eyebrow. Does it ring a bell?”

Jacob sighed. “Actually, yes. Thank you.”

“Should I tell him to wait?”

“No, I’m coming with you.”

Seamus was waiting at one of the tables with a cup of tea. Jacob approached him confidently, but then he hesitated, not being quite sure how to behave. Truth be told, a part of him hoped that Linda’s description could fit someone else entirely.

“Hello, Jacob,” Seamus greeted him. “Long time no see.” Jacob didn’t reply. “It’s rather rude to stare like that without a word, don’t you think?”

Seamus smiled subtly. He had a unique aura that was mostly intimidating, yet there was also something very… polite about him.

“Yeah, of course…” Jacob got bemused. “Sorry, uhm… I just didn’t really expect to see you. Like, ever.”

Seamus pointed to the chair in front of him, so Jacob took a seat. “I thought I could check on you,” he explained.

“Why?”

“Why not?” He took a sip of his drink, waiting a moment before carrying on. “I’ve got something for you.”

Then, he reached to the inside pocket of his robes and pulled out a package, which he moved on the table towards Jacob.

“What is it?” asked Jacob, confused.

“The book.”

“What book?”

“The book,” Seamus emphasised. “The one to the Restricted Section.” Jacob frowned, getting even more perplexed. “It’s fake, obviously. But it’s good enough to buy you some time before R kills you or imprisons you. Maybe you’ll get away with it entirely if you say someone stole the original, and you didn’t notice the swap. In fact, I could even arrange some realistic robbery, if you want.”

“Uhm, no, I don’t think it’s necessary. But…” He gave the package a closer look. “Why?”

“Because I don’t need R to suspect too much.”

“Did Patricia ask you for that?”

Seamus shrugged. “Perhaps,” he said casually, taking another sip.

Jacob was about to continue when they heard a loud meow. Mittens apparently got out of the room with him, and now, he was sniffing Seamus’s robes with curiosity.

“Mittens, no!” called Jacob. “You shouldn’t be here...”

The pet immediately switched his attention to him and started rubbing up against his legs.

Seamus appeared surprisingly intrigued. “Oh, you got a cat?”

“I mean, he’s not really mine... He’s kind of a stray.”

“Looks to me like he thinks you’re his,” Seamus pointed out, watching the cat with amusement.

Jacob chuckled a bit nervously. “Yeah, maybe…” He picked Mittens up to stop him from wandering off. “God, you’re shedding like crazy. We have to give you a bath again…”

“Again? You’re telling me you won a battle with a wet cat once already? You’re a brave man indeed.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say I won it…,” Jacob replied and rolled up his sleeve, showing some still visible scratches. “But he had fleas, it was for his good…” he added, petting Mittens behind his ear.

“Tell me more about him.”

Jacob raised his eyebrow, taken aback. “Uhm, seriously?”

“Yeah. I still have tea, and quite frankly, Mittens sounds more interesting than whatever you do with R, at least at this point.”

Jacob hung back. To his surprise, Seamus looked genuinely interested. “Well, there’s not much to say, really,” he started. “He used to wander around the White Wyvern, and Linda, the owner, would let him. Because of mice and whatnot. But then, I noticed that he has an eye infection, so we took care of him, we cured him, and he just… decided that we’re his. He still disappears for whole days, though.”

“Did you choose the name?”

“No, it’s Linda. It’s not very original, is it?” Seamus smirked. “She said that he seems to like it, but I think she simply wanted to make that discussion short because naming a stray cat is silly.”

Seamus grinned and revealed his own forearm, pointing to some light dots which resembled a couple of bites. “See this? I had a cat once, Artemis. He was a lovely creature. But you know how cats like to run around the house in the middle of the night for unknown reasons? Well, Artemis was unique. Every night, around the same time, he would wait right next to you, and if you moved in the wrong moment, he would bite. At first, I thought that something spooked him or something because it wasn’t happening every single night. But no! That little devil was doing it advertently!”

“What did you do then?”

“Nothing. I couldn’t unteach him that, so I started locking my bedroom. As I said, he was a lovely creature otherwise.”

His casual tone made Jacob laugh. But then, he realised that the last time they’d met, Seamus wanted to kill him. He swallowed hard. It suddenly felt very strange to chit-chat with him like that.

“I’m not telling you this to lower your guard, Jacob,” Seamus continued in the same voice. “If I still wanted to kill you, you’d be dead already. And don’t worry, I’m not a Legilimens or anything. Your Occlumency shield is fine. I’m just quite good at reading people. In another life, I’d probably be a brilliant bartender.”

Jacob was staring at him intently. “So, what you’re expecting from me now?”

“Nothing,” replied Seamus. “Keep doing what you’re doing. I’ll let you know if anything changes. I care about your success because it’s beneficial for me too, alright?” He pushed his empty cup to the side. “Good luck, Jacob. Bye, Mittens,” he added in a slightly higher pitch. “Take care of your wizard, okay?”

Mittens meowed in response as Seamus got up and approached Linda at the bar. Then, he left the pub. Jacob took the package and clenched his fingers on it. He really wished this Halloween was over already. Unfortunately, his sleepiness vanished entirely.

[Chapter 10 >]

___

* The love potion idea was inspired by this discussion.

#long post #hogwarts mystery #hphm #hphm jacob #jacob ellis #hphm oc #violet riley #isidore sullivan #seamus bishop #mundungus fletcher #secrets and riddles #my writing

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yan-genshin · 4 years ago

Text

warnings: general yandere content, drug use (alcohol), implied death

a/n: trying out a new writing style for this one! hopefully it works out-

♥︎ kaeya alberich

kaeya doesn’t like being alone. it’s not something he shows openly- it’s something he keeps deep down, along with most of his honest thoughts and feelings. but it’s as true as the sky is blue; he’s always seeking company, whether it be from his fellow knighst or from less than savory fellows at the bar. but now it’s not enough; loneliness goes from “being alone” to “not having his beloved around

“you’re leaving already?” kaeya’s smooth voice makes the traveler stop in the doorway to angel’s share. it’s late at night, but not so late as to worry about the bar closing; in fact, it seems mondstadt’s night life is just waking. the traveler doesn’t stick around at bars often, not being one for alcohol, and frankly, there’s no reason why kaeya should want them to stay. he’s got work to do, as evident by the table of probable bandits he’s been chatting up all night; and yet for a second he seems genuinely displeased the traveler is leaving. it’s only for a second, though, and quickly his teasing tone is back as he chuckles and waves his hand. “well, well, at least let me walk you to your inn. you are staying in the city, aren’t you?”

he should be relieved that stormterror- or dvalin, as he should call the dragon- no longer threatens the city, but he can’t. sure, the traveler hasn’t left yet, but he’s heard them talk to venti, talk to others about how they’re supposed to head to liyue soon, to try and speak to rex lapis. it’s mean of him, but it makes him roll his eyes. do they truly think they can just waltz in and get an audience with a god? they got lucky here- to just run into barbatos, that “venti” is as kind and aloof as he is, but there’s no reason rex lapis should be like that... right?

he plants seeds of doubt smoothly, carefully. loose comments about how ancient and important morax is, about how many people crowd around him during the rite of descension, that it’d surely be hard to speak to the god as an outsider.

he said he’d called them over to his office for a small mission, but it seems he’s more interested in small talk. paimon refused to come over, still hurt about kaeya tricking them once before with his fake quest for some random sword and treasure; but the traveler is still there, dutily attending the cavalry captain’s request. to be fair, he is seemingly briefing them on a mission- something minor about some slimes in springvale- but he’s also awfully chatty. and somehow the topic falls onto the traveler’s twin; it’s hard to miss the glint in kaeya’s eye when he speaks. “i have to admire your dedication. why, me? i wouldn’t be putting in so much effort into chasing for someone who, for all i know, was probably killed by- an all-powerful goddess, you said?”

tearing the traveler down just to be there for them “on their lowest” is scummy, sure, but it works. he has a way with words, a way to bring up the outlander’s wounds to surface, to shatter their heart with his words and then have the gall to rub their back and hold them in his arms when they cry, gently consoling them in ways that don’t really help. oh, are they worried their twin might be dead, gone forever? now, now, no need to cry- they’ll always have a family here in mondstadt. they’ll always have him.

if he were anyone else, the traveler might have just gotten mad at him. but he’s kaeya; shady, up-to-no-good kaeya. of course he can twist his words and actions just perfectly, to make his horrible actions not that noticeable and yet so painful, to make his fake kindness and manipulation appear genuine to the lonely traveler

stacking up tasks and missions on the traveler’s back, packing on emotional baggage and doubt, making the traveler about as afraid of being alone as he is. after all, the traveler has always been with their twin; they’d been using the faith of finding their missing sibling as fuel to keep going, but with the idea that perhaps said sibling is gone planted in their head it’s hard for them to not seek out comfort in kaeya’s presence, with how he dotes on them

paimon is of little help. the little creature might have been the traveler’s closest friend, but the lack of adventuring seems to make the little woman less clingy. in fact, she’s more often than not hanging out with amber or bothering venti- it’s clear she doesn’t know how to deal with the traveler’s sudden depression, choosing to steer clear while “the problem sorts itself out”, not knowing that leaving them alone is just giving kaeya more openings to present himself as the only comfort for them

it’s almost pitiful how he’s trained them, he thinks. they come to him willingly, like a pet seeking its master. even though they end up crying most of the time, due to his own words, they still come to him knowing he’ll kiss their tears away, play with their hair and rub circles into their back as they hiccup and sob. they still talk about leaving sometimes- stressing over missing the rite of descension in liyue- but he knows they don’t have it in them to take on the journey, not as they are. dependant on him.

it’s so easy to be mean once he knows he’s got the poor traveller hooked. to make them doubt their own fighting, their own skills, making them believe their only real use is to run menial tasks for the knights. oh, don’t they know mostly everyone thinks they’re clumsy and useless? but not him, no, no. it’s so easy to make himself the center of their world once he’s completely destroyed it and re-built it for his own purpose

and even then, if the traveler insists on going to liyue- if even after all this work, they still try to leave, then he’s not afraid to get his hands dirty. he doesn’t need to play fair; he just needs to win, right? the fact that the roads from mondstadt to liyue are well-traveled and the hubbub of the rite of descension keep people distracted. nobody will notice one less traveler walking down the roads.

it’s truly as easy as letting the traveler drink more than their share on the night of their “departure”. letting them say goodbye to everyone, promising to return soon. and then just hitting them hard on the back of the head as they walk out of their inn. paimon isn’t a big deal; he doesn’t particularly adore having to dispose of such a helpless creature, but it’s also not difficult to just freeze and toss into the lake surrounding the city as he carries his darling back home, only for them to awaken confused and with a chain around their ankle

“are you angry, perhaps?” he doesn’t sound like a kidnapper, but that’s what he is. or at least at the moment- surely, his dear little traveler will settle down soon enough. “i’d say this is for your own good, but i won’t lie to you, dear. i just had to do this. you were going to leave me.” his voice drops at this- it’s as if the words themselves hurt him. to think they’d leave. he watches with delight the scared look in his beloved’s eyes, how they nervously tug at the chains and ask if this is all a joke. it isn’t, of course. this is just how things have to be. he’s happy to keep telling them that looking for the seven archons is useless; do they really think their sibling is alive? after being attacked by a goddess? didn’t they themselves barely survive months on the beach just because they found some weird fairy thing?

in the end, kaeya values his comfort over his darling’s. this- everything- is his desperate attempts to keep them from leaving. and so what if it ends with a terrified and horribly depressed traveler locked in his house? they’re scared of him, but they also can’t help but crave his comfort, memories of him soothing them and wiping away their tears still resonating with “comfort and warmth” in their mind. and that’s all he wants, really- to hold them, to be the only person in their mind. it’s ok if they break a little in the process, it’s ok, as long as they don’t leave

#genshin impact #yandere genshin impact #kaeya alberich #genshin x reader #yandere tw #alcohol ment #death ment

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snapeaddict · 4 years ago

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Snape Appreciation Month: Severus and his colleagues

Tw suicide

By the end of his life, even if he did not know it, nearly all of his colleagues would consider him to be their friend, and he would too.

It was with Minerva he had the closest relationship. It had taken its roots in their house rivalry: Minerva had been surprised to see how a good head of house the Potions Master actually was, careful none of his students would be left out, caring about personal issues and family problems as well as being extremely strict about the grades he wanted them to achieve.

The third year in a row Slytherin won the house cup, she invited him to tea to congratulate him despite her own disappointment: she knew they had deserved it, and Severus was very touched. It became a tradition. Many years later he confided in her, telling her he wondered if the house system wasn’t more hurtful than useful to the students. She did not know what to think of it.

A few times they got drunk together. Minerva could hold her liquor well, but Severus, especially in his twenties, wasn’t as good. She once put him to bed and always praised his very effective hungover potions.

She was very protective over him after a suicide attempt in his second year of teaching. Severus never wanted to talk about it to her or Albus. That day she understood he needed to be protected, and put aside her prejudices against him.

Pomona was overly fond of him. They shared the same interest for plants and he was the only one willing to accompany her in the Scottish countryside to collect seeds. It was one of their traditions and they did it three times a year, going to the restaurant after a day walking and enjoying a good supper that would warm them up.

She once invited him to come down to the kitchens and bake Albus’ birthday cake. He rolled his eyes but eventually accepted. They had a good afternoon and the both of them were impressed at each other’s talent for baking. The cake was sumptuous.

She was the one who always succeeded in making up Minerva and him whenever they got into a fight and stopped talking. It happened often, as they did not always agree on each other’s treatment of the students. Albus was glad because had it been him, Severus would have thrown him out of his office.

The staff always knew when Minerva and Severus weren’t in good terms. No one liked it, because their conversations and eternal debates and hilarious dynamics during early staff meetings were missed. They would keep the whole coffee pot for themselves and send death glares at Albus the whole time. Sometimes Severus fell asleep because he was insomniac or had been brewing the whole night and no one woke him.

Poppy was a mother hen and knew about Severus’ bad health condition, problems with eating and sleeping and his tendency to self medicate whenever he was sick. She, Minerva and Albus would always drag him out from his lab for him to be given a medical check up. Severus always called Minerva a traitor because she did the same when she was ill.

The nurse was a good cook as well and often invited him for breakfast in the weekend. She said it would do him good to socialize a little more. Albus had the mysterious habit to always be there when her special breakfast was served.

Severus enjoyed Filius’ company. He was a very clever man, always aware of newest spells developments. They spent hours discussing them and would test some of their inventions in the staff room or empty classrooms.

Professor Sinistra asked Severus to dance at the Yull Ball. He refused, so she invited him for an evening of star gazing the next day. He felt very awkward and Minerva laughed at him for days.

He couldn’t stand Trelawney. Like, it did not matter if he knew she had a real gift; 90% of what she said was pure nonsense and he and Minerva had ongoing bets about her newest predictions. Albus wasn’t very pleased.

When he turned thirty they all celebrated in the staff room and Severus felt emotional. Pomona told him he should not think he was an old man now because he still was the staff’s baby.

Their harmonious friendship was a daily joy to Albus, who watched the boy open up a little and settle down in his role as professor. He was very grateful to Minerva especially, even if they kept fighting over silly things.

That said, Minerva never put into question his teaching methods or his ability to handle students. She was very aware she had failed to care for him as a student, had been lectured by him about how prejudices against Slytherins were spread by the whole staff. She always saw him as the Slytherins’ protector and knew his interventions, even if often partials, were much needed. She would only intervene when she strongly disagreed with something. Like about his treatment of Harry.

He was mad at her for two months after Harry got a new broomstick and she bended the rules for him to become a sicker for Gryffindor in his first year. She did not know how to make up with him.

They eventually did and she was always there when, a few years later, he came back injured and mentally damaged from his meetings with the Dark Lord.

Losing his colleagues’ friendship and respect was the hardest part of Severus’ final year. They became his enemies, he could read hatred in their eyes. When he thought of killing himself; oh, It was just a thought - it was their hateful gazes he kept seeing. He had not realized how important they were to him. After all, they were the only people he was somewhat close to. He had known them for twenty years as a teacher.

He put his fondest memories in the pensieve and sometimes lost himself into them. It helped him going on. Albus watched sadly. When the headmaster’s portrait told him he should stop drinking, he just replied it did not taste the same without Minerva anyway.

After his death, Minerva was the one who went through his things and discovered the meticulously filed memories protected by many spells. She never cried so much.

They were all here to burry him.

@snapeloveposts

#severus snape #snapeloveposts #snape appreciation month #snape fandom #snape #severus #Minerva and Severus #minerva mcgonagall #Albus Dumbledore #filius flitwick #poppy pomfrey #Hogwarts headcanons #headcanons #severus snape headcanons

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thefanficdude · 3 years ago

Text

The Winter Months: OCTOBER, Part 2

“Tommy, have you found anything yet?” Niki and Tommy were out in the forest looking for any extra food they could get their hands on. So far, Niki had found a small handful of walnuts, but that was it.

“The fuck do you think!?” Tommy snapped, turning to look at her with anger in his eyes. Niki wasn’t mad or upset because of Tommy’s sudden rage. Not only was it normal for him, but Niki felt the same. The frustration of the coming season had everyone in a swing of emotions. Tommy turned back around. “At this rate, we’ll run out of food before the end of winter.” Niki put a hand on Tommy’s shoulder and made him face her.

“Hey, don’t say that! We’re gonna make it through the season, just like we have every other year before this.” Tommy slightly moved his shoulder, but it was enough of a gesture to make Niki release her grip.

“Every other winter, we’ve barely made it to spring with the regular rations! Now, winter’s gonna be longer and we can’t find anything!” Tommy threw his arms up in frustration. Niki couldn’t find anything to argue back with. Tommy got the last word.

“Let’s search for 30 more minutes then,” Niki said with a sigh. “And then we’ll call it a day.”

“No,” Tommy responded. “As hopeless and worthless as our search has been so far, I can’t go back until I have something that won’t make us starve. Wilbur gave me a job, and I’m not going to disappoint him.” Stubbornness and determination; Tommy’s greatest strengths. “So if you want to go back in 30 minutes, go ahead. But I’m staying out here.” He turned around to continue looking for something, anything. Niki continued as well with a smile on her face.

“Sometimes I don’t think you realize how inspiring you can be, Tommy,” Niki said. Tommy scoffed.

“Of course I know, it’s why I’m so fucking awesome.” Niki laughed, and Tommy smiled.

“We haven’t checked the North forest yet,” Tommy said. “We should start heading in that direction.”

“Good idea,” Niki replied.

~~~

“How many samples did you find that we can test?”

“Uhh… 4, but that’s not counting possible combinations between them.”

“Perfect. We’ll set up the tests immediately.”

Eret and Tubbo were busy inside the greenhouse trying to come up with ways to make their plants grow quicker and stronger. This would’ve been an exciting and adventurous feat if it weren’t for the fact they only had 5 days until the snow came. If they failed, the whole village would starve. There was no room for errors or do-overs.

“To speed things up a little bit, I suggest we use plants that have only just sprouted instead of brand new seeds,” Eret said, going to a pot with a few sprouts in it. “And we also need to make sure all the plants are the same to avoid different growing rates which would give us wrong information about the soil.”

“So what’s your plan?” Tubbo asked. Eret crouched to look under a table in which there were 4 giant containers of dirt.

“We get all the samples, plus the different combinations each in their own small pot.” Eret came back up from the table with a stack of pots engulfed in a cautious embrace. “Then, we plant 1 sprout in each pot. From there, we observe and make a decision based on our research.” She set down the pots on a clear table in the middle of the greenhouse and split the pile in two, giving one to Tubbo. They each began setting out all the pots across the table.

“Seems good enough,” Tubbo said. “But we only have 5 days. How are we supposed to find the right soil and also re-pot all the plants in time?”

“As crazy as it sounds,” Eret began. “We’re counting on soil that will make the plants grow in 1 to 2 nights in the same way it would in weeks.”

“But that’s impossible!” Tubbo pointed out. “At that point, we would need to rely on-”

“Magic?” Eret finished. Tubbo gave them a questioning look. “Tubbo, how do you think we’re able to control earth or manipulate light?”

“Our abilities?” Tubbo said in a patronizing tone, not fully understanding what Eret was getting at.

“And do you not think our abilities would be considered magic to people without an ability?” Tubbo thought about that for a moment.

“I guess you’re right…” Tubbo said. “But even if our abilities were magic, we still have our limits. Not everything is possible.” Eret sighed.

“Look,” He said. “We at least need to try, because if we don’t we won’t have anything to eat next summer. And even though the circumstances are brutal enough, I think with some hard work we can allow these plants to make some extra food during winter.”

“Don’t you hear yourself?” Tubbo asked. “This is all hopeless wishing. It’ll never work!” Eret put a hand on Tubbo’s shoulder and lowered his voice to a serious tone.

“Tubbo, you need to understand… if we don’t try at all or don’t try with a little bit of hope, everyone will starve. Maybe even die.” Tubbo was clinging to every word, but it wasn’t the words he wanted to hear. Then again, he didn’t want Eret to say he was right either. He wasn’t sure what he needed to hear. “So please, promise me you’ll do this with me with even the smallest bit of hope. Even if it is, as you said, just hopeless wishing.” Tubbo stared at Eret, processing what he’d just said. Eventually, he nodded. Eret nodded back.

“So what do I do first?” Tubbo asked.

“Put all the different soils into the pots and I’ll label them,” Eret said, making his way to a corner of the greenhouse where he got paper and a pen.

“Got it,” Tubbo said. He went to the table with the four giant containers of dirt and looked at them. “You should probably label these ones first so that there's no confusion.” Eret came over to where Tubbo was.

“Yeah. I’ll just label them 1, 2, 3, and 4. Any combination of them would just be labelled which numbers it consists of.” Eret started ripping small bits of paper and sticking them on with glue he made herself with tree sap.

“Makes sense,” Tubbo said. “And I’ll put just the four dirts in their own small pots first.” Tubbo raised his hands and took a breath. Dirt from the pots started floating up into the air, slowly moving across the greenhouse and into their intended pots. Eret watched as he made more labels. Tubbo began to smile. “Oh my god, this is going really well.” Eret nodded.

“Yeah! You’re getting a lot better with your ability. Just remember to focus and stay-”

Somebody knocked on the door of the greenhouse and suddenly all the dirt fell onto the floor.

“-calm…” Eret finished. Tubbo dropped his arms and gave a disappointed sigh. Eret patted him on the shoulder as she made his way to the door. “You’ll get it soon, don’t worry.” Eret opened the door to see Wilbur. “Wilbur!” Eret exclaimed. “Glad to see you! Have you come to check up on our progress?” Tubbo came to the door to listen in.

“No,” Wilbur said. “I doubt it’s been long enough for you guys to have made noteworthy progress.”

“You’d be surprised,” Eret said. “Tubbo here has been practicing with his ability and I think he’s almost ready to get some combat training!” Tubbo smiled but shook his head humbly.

Combat training wasn’t an immediate thing people were forced to do. They needed to have a good handle on their ability first. As much as he denied it, Tubbo was indeed almost there.

“That’s amazing to hear!” Wilbur said. “But no, I’ve come to ask a question.”

“Ask away,” Eret said. Wilbur sighed and closed his eyes for a moment.

“Have… either of you seen George today?” Both Eret and Tubbo became confused.

“Uh…” Eret and Tubbo looked at each other, but both of them were lost. “No, I don’t believe so. Why? Is he missing?” Wilbur shook his head.

“No, I was just wondering.” Wilbur shifted his feet. “That’s all. Continue what you were doing.” He started walking away.

“Bye!” Eret and Tubbo said at the same time, waving goodbye. Eret closed the door and looked at Tubbo.

“George wasn’t at the meeting today, right?” Tubbo asked.

“Yeah, Wilbur said he and Phil were going to stop by his house.”

“Weird. I wonder what happened?”

~~~

Wilbur was sitting on the couch in his house, his elbows resting on his knees with a fist covering his mouth. Phil was sitting beside him in utter shock and confusion. After all, one of their people had gone missing, and there were only 2 possible things he could’ve done or gone to. Neither of them were good.

“We need to tell everyone,” Wilbur said. “Because if George has done what I think he’s done, we’re not going to be struggling with the winter alone.”

“We can’t though,” Phil said. “We don’t have any solid proof. For all we know, he could’ve just gone berry picking.”

“In October?” Wilbur asked. “Phil, he put pillows under his sheets to make it look like he was still here! And if he went berry picking, how come nobody’s seen him today?”

“Niki and Tommy are in the forest right now, right?” Phil pointed out. “Once they come back, we’ll ask them if they’ve seen George. I’m sure they’ll say yes.” Wilbur looked Phil in the eyes.

“And if they don’t?” A silence fell as they held eye contact. Phil was trying to get onto Wilbur’s level while Wilbur was searching through Phil’s brain.

“I wouldn’t be so worried if I were you.”

Try to make him feel better.

“You can’t lie to me, Phil,” Wilbur said, tapping his temple with his finger. “Remember?” Phil sighed.

“Yes, I remember,” Phil said. “I was hoping you weren’t using it.”

“Well I was, and I caught your people-pleasing attitude in action.” Wilbur leaned back on the couch. “Tell the truth this time please.”

“Fine,” Phil agreed. “Here’s the truth: everything about this screams bad news. As soon as you took the sheets off his bed, I sent one of my ravens to check Dream’s base to see if he was there.”

“Any news?”

“Not yet. That’s why I was trying to convince you everything was going to be fine. I didn’t want you to worry too much if it’s nothing.” Wilbur sighed.

“Thank you… but you shouldn’t have sent a bird without asking me first, or at the very least let me know.”

“I’m sorry,” Phil apologized with a sigh. “But I knew it was the right thing to do, from both a leading and parenting standpoint.”

“But didn’t you retire early so that I could lead?” Wilbur asked. “You no longer have that title. I expected that you would treat me with due respect.” Phil stood from the couch.

“I stepped down so that I could teach you how to lead instead of having to figure it all out for yourself.” Phil’s feathers ruffled. “And don’t you dare speak to me of respect. I am still your father, therefore you are the one who owes me respect.” Wilbur stood as well, staring Phil down.

“Maybe it would’ve been better for me to figure it out myself,” Wilbur said with a whisper. He regretted saying it right after. However, taking responsibility and saying sorry was never an easy thing to do, and that’s something everyone can agree on. Unfortunately, Wilbur would never know that one sentence broke Phil’s heart into a million grains of sand. Wilbur could’ve easily read Phil’s mind at that moment, but he didn’t want to witness the pain he’d caused. Phil felt like crying, bawling, and screaming simultaneously, but held it together. After a moment of silence between them, Phil broke eye contact and started heading towards the door.

“We’ll discuss this later,” He said. “But right now, we have worse things to worry about. Wilbur stayed in the house as he watched Phil walk out of his house. As soon as his father was out of his sight, he collapsed onto the couch with a heavy breath. Wilbur was used to dealing with heated situations and arguments, but the same thing with a parent drains more than normal.

I should apologize, Wilbur thought, but the idea of it made him cringe. As I said earlier, taking responsibility is never easy, even if it's the right thing to do.

It was very rare that Wilbur and Phil ever argued or fought, but when they did it always ended in heartbreak and tears, in which they would apologize to each other soon after. Wilbur expected this time to be the same, because why would it be any different?

“Will!” He suddenly heard his name being called outside by none other than Phil. Wilbur got up from the couch and went to his door. Phil was standing a few feet away with a raven in one hand and a letter with red wax in the other. He was reading it carefully. Wilbur walked towards him.

“What’s that?” Wilbur asked. Phil looked up at him.

“You were right.”

#dreamsmp #dsmp #dreamsmpfanfic #dsmpfanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #fantasy #action

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thepancakeboi · 4 years ago

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53. “Were you ever going to tell me?”

Divergence AU Part V

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Fanfic under cut

12/10

“Do you really think the others will be okay on their own?”

My question, although probably unnecessary, is a valid one. Queen, Noir, Panther, and Fox are going to deal with the IT president, while Mona, Skull, Joker, and I are going to find the third Will Seed that Mona sensed was nearby. I know that we only have a week left to secure the infiltration route, but the idea of us splitting into two different groups is a little concerning.

“Don’t worry, Crow,” Skull replies. “They got this.”

“They aren’t weak,” Mona adds. “That letter is as good as ours!”

“My apologies,” I say, adjusting my white gloves out of habit. Even if they know who I am and what I’ve done, Joker is the only one who has seen my other outfit. I shouldn’t care what they think of me, but I’ve kept it a well-guarded secret for so long. Force of habit, I suppose. “Shall we continue?”

Joker nods, taking my hand in his as he leads the way. He’s been doing this ever since that night in Leblanc. I’ve stopped questioning it after the first fifty times. It’s...nice. The rest of the thieves haven’t commented on it yet, nor do they seem confused. Maybe they already knew of Joker’s feelings.

The fight to get into the room is all too simple, largely in part due to Joker’s damn Shiki-Ouji, a Persona that I have come to despise. It, alongside Arsène and Jack Frost, is one of his main Personas. Shiki-Ouji, though, nullifies nearly all of Robin Hood’s attacks...as I found out the hard way during our duel last month. Not even Loki would have been much more help against it. That thing has become the bane of my existence.

I’m just glad Joker doesn’t see me as an enemy.

He leads the way back to the large double doors, slashing the rose vines with unerring grace before pushing the doors open. With this task done, the four of us enter the room. We’re greeted by harsh, indeterminate whispers. Their content means nothing to me-

“I trust no one but myself.”

I recognize that voice. Shido. I grit my teeth as his voice rings and echoes off the walls. The others don’t seem to notice, but it’s as clear as day to me. I tune the others’ voices out as Joker takes the Will Seed from its pedestal, straining to hear the inner thoughts of that bastard. For a few seconds, it remains incoherent whispers, until...

“The enemy is coming...in more ways than one.”

It takes nearly all of my willpower to not react to this. These are his inner thoughts, aren’t they? If that’s the case...could he know? Is Shido starting to realize the suicide-murder shtick was faked, that Ren is still alive and currently traversing his Palace? And...oh no.

In more ways than one.

That can only mean one thing...

Shido knows.

He knows I’m not on his side.

Or maybe it’s his normal paranoia? I can’t be certain. It isn’t like I can ask Shido himself. He’d lie and say he trusts me, the action almost as natural to him as breathing. If he does know, what am I supposed to do...?

“Hey, you okay?”

Mona’s query snaps me out of my thoughts. “I’m fine,” I easily lie. “Just a little nervous, I suppose.”

Skull, the dense idiot that he is sometimes, buys it. “Man, you looked like you’d just seen a ghost! Warn us next time, will ya?”

“I will,” I respond, looking at the others to gauge their reactions. Mona doesn’t seem entirely convinced, but it doesn’t seem like he’s going to probe further. And Joker...I can’t read him. All I get is the feeling that he sees through my lie. “Anyway, we have the Will Seed. What’s our next move, Joker?”

Joker thinks for a few moments before answering, “There’s nothing else here. Let’s meet up with everyone in the safe room.”

His hand slips back into mine as we leave the room behind us. This close to him, I can finally see that he wasn’t convinced in the slightest. I know he’d try to get me to open up to him if it weren’t for Mona and Skull. Despite this, his eyes plead with me under his mask, trying to get me to tell him what’s wrong. I refuse to look at him as the last statement I hear from that cursed room echoes in my ears:

“The only thing you have to do is follow my order.”

We arrive at the safe room to find the others already there. “How did it go?” Queen asks as Skull and Mona sit down. I choose to stand a little way back from the group, side-eyeing Joker as he rests his head against my shoulder. What does he think he’s doing? Judging by the cheeky smirk on his face, he’s trying to be as distracting as possible.

“Joker got the last Will Seed!” Mona replies, simultaneously answering Queen’s question and taking my attention away from the menace next to me.

“Aw yeah, and we got the fourth letter!” Oracle says. She is beaming as she holds up the envelope for everyone to see, apparently proud of her group’s accomplishments.

“Sweet!” Skull exclaims. “All that’s left is the cleaner dude! Let’s go find him and kick his ass!”

“Wait!” Panther interjects. “We don’t even know where he’d be.”

“Who cares? Can’t we just cause some trouble again?”

“We could, but...”

“Then-”

“As much as I would like to take the cleaner down now, we should wait,” I say before Skull can get another word in edgewise. “He’s stronger than any of the VIP’s we have fought so far.”

“How about tomorrow?” Noir chimes in. “It’s Sunday, so we won’t have school.”

“I agree,” Queen adds before looking at me. “Will you be joining us?”

I wish I had more time to think things through. If only we could wait a few more days. Time, however, is in short supply. “I should be able to, though if anything comes up, I’ll let Joker know,” I say while gently pushing Joker’s face away.

That smirk from before fades away, replaced with a carefully crafted neutral expression. His voice rings with authority as he says, “Sounds like a plan. We’ll meet up tomorrow afternoon.”

Tomorrow afternoon. That’s when the deed will be done. If my revenge plan is going to work, I’m going to have to kill him, for real this time. There’s no going around it. My mind is so preoccupied with planning how to accomplish this that I don’t even notice everyone else has left until I’m startled out of my thoughts by the kiss Joker plants on my cheek. He looks concerned. “Is everything okay?”

“What makes you think it isn’t?” I ask back, dodging his question.

“You seemed tense earlier. And a little scared. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’ll be fine. Soon, this will all be over.”

Over in ways neither of us would want, yet it’s the only way this could ever end. This is how it was meant to be from the beginning: with one of us dead.

12/11

I tap my fingers idly against my leg as I wait on one of the catwalks in the engine room. Earlier, I had texted Ren saying that I would be running late and to go on without me. He must have bought it because when I had entered Shido’s Palace, the Phantom Thieves were nowhere to be found. I had told them the cleaner would likely be in the engine room. They must be farther inside.

My suspicions are confirmed a moment later when the group comes walking out, celebrating their recent victory. How delighted they must be now that they have the final letter. That happiness is about to be destroyed. Joker is the one to notice me, of course. He halts, looking up at me. “Crow?” he asks. “What are you doing up there?”

I leap down, doing a flip before landing effortlessly in front of the thieves. Damn Joker’s habits rubbing off on me. I expect to feel some level of anticipation, or maybe regret, but I feel...nothing. I don’t see Ren or Joker in front of me. All I see is another obstacle, blocking my plans from coming to fruition. “Did you really think I would let you leave this place alive?”

“Huh?”

My gun is out, pointed at him in an instant. I won’t give Joker the chance to say another word. Time to pull the trigger.

...except I don’t.

What’s stopping me from firing, from killing this menace? My hesitation wastes valuable time, time that the rest of the thieves use to prepare themselves to fight if necessary. I no longer have the advantage of surprise. Why didn’t I just kill him first? “Keeping you alive was a terrible decision.”

“What’s gotten into you, Akechi?” Queen asks. I don’t miss the dropping of codenames. “You were the one who suggested this plan.”

She’s not wrong. I had been the one to plan most of this heist, due to my knowledge of Shido’s Palace. “Nothing has changed. This camaraderie between us has all been an act.” The lies slip so easily off my tongue, and I find that I’m starting to believe myself. “When Joker started to piece things together, I knew I would have to change my plans, and in order to do that, I had to make him aware of my original plan. I’ve been planning this from the start. You all were simply so foolish as to trust me.”

“All an act...?” Joker asks, hesitant. It’s as if he’s trying to deny the words I’m saying.

I refuse to answer his question, instead deciding to say, “I’ve never shown you my true power, have I? Here, I’ll show you...while you die. Persona!”

I can feel Loki’s presence as two Shadows materialize from thin air. A Cerberus and a Cu Chulainn. Perfect. I direct Loki to use his signature Call of Chaos on the two Shadows. Their complexion turns black and red as their true destructive potential is unleashed. I can hear Cerberus growl as it paws at the ground in anticipation, waiting for my command to kill these wretched thieves.

“What was that?” Oracle asks, voicing everyone’s surprise at Loki’s brief appearance. “That wasn’t Robin Hood.”

“You’re right,” I confirm with a grin, “but that’s the least of your concern. You better not underestimate these two.” I leap back, putting the berserk Shadows between me and the Phantom Thieves. In a mad rush, the two Shadows launch themselves at their foes. I don’t expect the Shadows to win; they’re just meant to wear the enemy down.

Mona’s voice rings over the din of the fight. “Go, Joker! If anyone has a chance of getting through to him, it’s you.”

I see Joker nod, and, before I can even react, he’s using his grappling hook, sailing over the Shadows and landing a few feet away from me. The absolute fool. “You just made a grievous mistake,” I snarl. “You’ll need your teammates if you have any hopes of defeating me.”

He shakes his head. Cocky little shit- “I don’t need to defeat you.”

That catches me off guard. Just what the hell is he planning? “Then what is it? Are you going to abandon your teammates, just like you wanted before when I suggested leaving them to work with me?”

“I’m not abandoning anyone.”

“Oh, is that so? Then maybe we should put an end to our duel, striking and striking again and again until one of us is dead! Unless you’re so spineless that you’ll run away with your tail between your legs. Is that your master plan?”

“No,” he replies, his voice firm. “I love you, and I’m not leaving you.”

I laugh. He’s more foolish than I gave him credit for. “Then tell me, Joker. Will you love me for this?” His eyes widen ever so slightly as I point my gun at his face, aiming right between his eyes. It’s a pale comparison to the terror Sae’s cognition of Ren expressed. He’s too naive to be afraid. “There’s no cognitive double to save you this time.”

Joker, the absolute idiot that he is, doesn’t have the common sense to back down. Why is he just standing there? Move, damnit! It’s as if he’s deaf to my silent pleas. He refuses to move. He even has the gall to smile a little as he replies, “Hey, I’ll always love you no matter what. I’ll take a bullet for you, even if you’re shooting.”

I could do it. I could shoot him right now. But now, in this critical moment, I find myself hesitating once again.

Do it.

But he’s the only good thing in my life-

Do it! Watch as the light leaves his eyes!

I don’t...I don’t know if I can do it again...

What about your revenge? He’s in the way!

I tighten my grip on the gun...but I still can’t pull the trigger. Why...why can’t I kill him!? “How stupid are you? Would you really let your irrational feelings get in the way of your goal?” I have no idea if I’m asking him the questions...or myself.

“It seems you let your ‘irrational’ feelings get in the way of your goal. Aren’t you going to shoot?” he adds, almost sounding a little cocky at the end.

How dare he...

“Don’t lecture me!” I yell, whipping the gun away from his face. It clangs against the floor, the sound echoing in my ears. It’s clear I’m not going to shoot him point-blank anyway. “You think you know me, that you’ve got me pinned down. You don’t know anything about me! All you are is some criminal trash living in an attic who thinks he’s in love with an ace detective, a celebrity! You’ve deluded yourself and refuse to see the truth. How foolish you were to think that you meant anything to me, Joker!”

“You’re wrong!” He grabs my hand, the same hand that a few moments prior had been pointing a gun at his face. “I love you, and I’ll always love you. And...I know you love me too. We don’t have to fight-”

“I will get my revenge,” I interrupt as I pull my hand out of his grasp, refusing to listen to another word of his, “against Masayoshi Shido...my father. And you’re in my way.”

That makes him stop. The shock on his face is undeniable. “Shido’s...your father? Were you ever going to tell me?”

“What would’ve been the point?”

“Goro,” he starts; he must be taking this seriously if he’s using my first name, “we can still change his heart. Just let me hel-”

“I’m warning you. Stand. Down.”

“Please. I love y-”

Something inside me snaps. “NO! Just shut up, and die, Joker!”

There is only one way I can think of that’ll make me able to kill Joker. I welcome it with open arms. Loki’s mad power washes over me, my outfit changing in an instant. The world is tinted red, though I’m not sure whether it’s from the intense desire to murder or the lenses in the black mask. Maybe both.

But that doesn’t matter.

Nothing matters.

The only thing I want is to kill!

Destroy!

Massacre anything that stands in my way!

...starting...with...Joker.

A lopsided grin creeps on my face. Oh, this will be fun! I wonder how far I can go with this...

Let’s find out.

With little abandon, I rush straight at Joker with my serrated blade. It’ll tear him into pieces!

My sword clashes against his signature dagger. Somehow, he stands firm. How? How can he...?

Oh, so what!? He can’t possibly last for long! I go for another slash, but he yet again blocks it with that damn dagger of his. Our blades continue to strike against each other, neither of us able to land a hit on the other.

Again.

And again.

And again!

But then, as I throw all my strength into another frenzied slash, he weaves out of the way, kicking the sword right out of my hand as I start to stumble.

No way. How could this attic trash possibly be stronger than me!?

Joker lunges at me, the dagger no longer in his hand. Somehow, he manages to knock me off balance. He tries to restrain me as I thrash while screaming insults at his face.

One of my hands reaches my mask. Perfect.

I don’t even think.

I just act.

Only one thought rages in my mind.

I will kill Joker!

I command Loki to use Maragion. He won’t be able to block this attack. Screw his Shiki-Ouji!

For a brief moment, the flames surround Joker...but suddenly, they turn on me. I grit my teeth at the searing agony radiating through my body. Damnit...of all the times he wasn’t using that Persona-

My mask reforms, but is quickly pulled away from my face. Joker tosses it to the side, once again trying to hold me down. He flinches as my claws rake across his face, but he doesn’t budge.

He’s saying something to me, but I can’t hear him.

I don’t care what he’s saying! He should be dead!

I almost manage to hit him a second time, but now he’s able to use his hands to pin mine down. I try desperately to claw at his hands, but they’re just out of reach.

Damnit!

Joker’s still talking. Now I can make out his words. “...love y...please...it’ll be...”

What is he thinking!?

Even now...

As the seconds slowly tick by, the psychotic rage that overtook me starts to dissipate. Joker keeps on saying the same thing over and over: “I love you, Goro. Please, calm down. It’ll be okay.”

Over.

And over.

He sounds so distraught as I continue to fight against him. Repeating those same words. It’s no use. Joker’s determined to stop me.

Eventually, I stop struggling, panting as I try to catch my breath. I finally manage to gasp out, “What are you doing?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

“I...I didn’t want this.”

“I know. You didn’t want to shoot me.”

“I-”

Our conversation is interrupted by a pained scream. We both look over as Cu Chulainn falls to the ground. Cerberus must have fallen earlier in the fight, as it’s nowhere to be seen. The rest of the thieves look a little tired but otherwise no worse for wear. I turn my attention back to Joker, frowning as I see blood dripping from the thin slashes marring his beautiful face. “It’s fine,” Joker says, noticing where my attention is. “It doesn’t hurt. But are you okay?”

My laughter is strained, forced. “That’s what you’re concerned about?”

“But you got hurt.” He moves his hand to gently caress my face. “If I had known you were going to use that move, I would’ve used a different Persona.”

“Why would you even care? I just tried to kill you, damnit!”

“Because I love you, Goro. And I always will. You could’ve shot me, and I still would have loved you just the same.” Is it just me, or did his voice crack just a little there? “Goro, no matter what happens, I just want you to know I love you dearly, and-”

“Ugh, can we save the cheesy romance for later?” Oracle butts in.

Oh. That’s right. We’re not alone here. And with how things currently look... “Joker?” I start.

“Yeah?”

“Get off me.”

“Aww, I was enjoying this,” he says with a chuckle. He waits a second before moving so that I can push myself into a sitting position. The sudden movement causes me to hiss in pain. “You didn’t answer me earlier. Are you okay?”

“I have been through worse.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“I’ll be alright. Any other questions before we leave this wretched place?”

“Just one. Why did you do this? Did something happen yesterday?”

I almost tell him. My lips part, about to answer, but I realize it might take too much time. “How about we save that question for Leblanc? It...might take some time to answer.”

“Okay. We should head back to the central hall,” he adds, addressing everyone with that. He then turns back to me and, with a smirk, kneels down and puts one arm behind my back and the other under my knees. I realize what he’s doing just as he proceeds to pick me up bridal style with little regard for if he gets jabbed by the pointy parts of my true outfit. The rest of the thieves seem just as surprised and shocked as I am. Meanwhile, Joker grins at me as he says, “Hi, Akeppi.”

“Joker, what are you doing?”

“Showing you how much I love you.”

“You stupid, insufferable-” The rest of what I was going to say is cut off by the soft little kiss Joker gives me. He looks like he would love to kiss me more, but he’s not about to test his luck when I have so many ways to potentially harm him right now. It takes me a few seconds of mulling my response in my head before I begrudgingly finish, “...lovable menace.”

“I know. But I’m your menace.”

That alone gets me to smile. He’s right. It only took me trying to kill him to see it. “Yes, you’re my menace, and nothing is going to ever change that.”

#i apologize for how long this got #my writing got away from me #akeppi writes #p5 #persona 5 #goro akechi #akechi #ren amamiya #akira kurusu #akeshu #shuake #writing prompt

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pnf-lover98 · 4 years ago

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ML - An Helping Hand

It wasn't unusual for Gabriel to work at new designs at late night – as most artists are well known for having their best ideas when they're supposed to be sleeping. That night was one of those, with the fashion designer working on his tablet in his usual spot, and Nooroo floating silently around the room.

The kwami flew to one of the room's windows, sitting down on the windowsill.

He had thought about Duusu's words over and over. The other kwami had been pestering him for quite a while now, trying to convince him they should try to bring their holders together.

“But they are meant to be!" Duusu had insisted.

“Maybe, but we are meant not to interfere with the personal lives of our wielders, remember?" He had countered. “What would the Guardian think of us, if we broke the promise?"

But maybe his sibling was right about all that plan of hers. Maybe it could all get better if those two could see just how much they meant to each other...

After all, what harm could a little, tiny push do?

Nooroo flew back to Mr. Agreste. "It is such a lovely night! Don't you think so, Master?" The kwami spoke, shyly. He only obtained an absentminded 'mh' from the man as a reply. "You've been working for a long time, now. I would advise you to take a break to rest your eyes."

Gabriel's gaze met Nooroo's, and held it silently for a few seconds. “Maybe you're right, Nooroo" the man eventually said, removing his glasses to rub his eyes.

Gabriel walked up to the window, opened it and stepped outside on the balcony. Nooroo flew next to him, watching as his holder leaned against the fence, staring down at the garden.

It was time to enter in action.

“Paris is so peaceful, tonight!" Nooroo commented, sighing in contentment. "I can sense many positive emotions!"

Mr. Agreste didn't reply. It meant that there were going to be no new akumas, for the time being.

“They also come from the people close to this home." Nooroo went on. "I can feel how Adrien is happy thinking about his new friends... His bodyguard is glad that everything is going fine..."

The kwami closed his eyes for a moment, taking in the positive waves. Then: "I can feel Miss Nathalie is happy as well, tonight."

Gabriel finally turned his head to look at his kwami. "She's asleep," Nooroo said softly, with an hint of a smile on his face. “She's dreaming to be with the man she loves."

Mr. Agreste once again said nothing, but Nooroo didn't miss a slight frown form on the man's face and, mostly, the slightest hint of annoyance and jealously he'd felt after the kwami's mention of that unnamed man.

- - - - -

The seed had been planted and, although Gabriel claimed himself to be left completely unaffected by it, in a few occasions he'd found himself thinking about Nooroo's words.

Was Nathalie really in love with someone? How long had this been going on?

And mostly, how did he not notice?

He wondered how many other things he was unaware of.

Quite a few, he found out in the next few days as he slowly started to focus more on the people surrounding him, with or without the Miraculous.

He paid more attention to the looks in Adrien’s eyes when his son did or said something in particular, and found out that – like Nooroo had said – he was indeed happier when he spoke about his friends or left the house to meet them.

Then, the looks on his interns’ faces and the fret in their movements revealed him that they were afraid of him even when he wasn’t mad at all.

For some reasons, he found himself paying close attention to Nathalie whenever the two of them were out in public, trying to determine who the object of her affection could be, but she never showed any different behaviours around any of their acquaintances, be it photographers, models or the occasional workers of the fashion company.

Yet, her feelings were always there, ringing through his magical brooch whenever she and Gabriel went.

There was that newly-labeled love, radiating with a fluctuating intensity from her but, now that he noticed it, almost ever-present.

But there was also a peculiar sadness coming from his assistant, and he couldn’t say that that was something new. Just like him, Nathalie had been feeling sad ever since Emilie’s death.

But now it was different; it was as if her pain had grown stronger, deeper in a way. That wasn’t just the pain from the loss of a friend. It was intermingled with something else.

He felt the need to talk with her.

Gabriel stepped out of the mansion and walked up to the garden, where he knew his assistant was likely to be during her breaks. In fact, there she was, sitting on one of the benches with her head low.

She was still emitting that sadness that he felt earlier.

“Nathalie” Gabriel called for her. Nathalie's head immediately shot up, her gaze moving around until it found his.

“Sir?” the woman greeted him surprised. “What... are you doing here?"

“It seems like I can't find any inspiration, today. So I figured I could take a break as well." He replied. “May I?" He then gestured toward the bench.

Nathalie looked down at the empty space next to her, then back towards her boss. “Of course!"

Gabriel sat down, and the two of them remained silent for a while.

“Hey, uhm..." He eventually spoke. "I know I'm not supposed to pry into your personal matters, and I understand if you don't want to talk about this sort of things with me, but..." The man brought a hand up to his neck, fixing the tie that hid his Miraculous. "I've been paying more attention to how people around me feel, and I realized that I never noticed how lately you've been feeling down."

Nathalie turned to look at him, surprised at his unexpected interest in her problems. "I wanted to know how are you, and if there's something wrong." Gabriel ended.

"It's kind of you to worry, but It's nothing serious, really." Nathalie played it off casually.

Gabriel nodded. “Well, whatever it is, at least you can count on that love you've been feeling to relieve your mind from your worries!"

Nathalie's eyes widened slightly, the only sign betraying her sudden alarm at his words in her otherwise inexpressive face. However, the temporary fear that he'd found out about her true feelings vanished in the moment Gabriel added a “Who's the lucky man, if I may ask?"

Nathalie pondered her answer for a few moments. "He's an amazing person, really" she then replied, staring into his eyes. "A sweet soul, even if he can behave like a real a-hole, at times." Nathalie smiled, fondness washing over her words.

“It sounds...great." Gabriel replied.

Again with that fleeting sensation of annoyance in his stomach! What was happening?

Nathalie turned away, looking down to the ground. "Yeah, well... It would surely be, if only he would reciprocate me..."

“Oh...” Gabriel's shoulders dropped. "Is love the reason why you've been feeling so unhappy lately, then?" He watched as Nathalie pressed her lips together, nodding silently. "I'm sorry." He simply replied, and he meant it.

“That's how life goes, sometimes..." Nathalie shrugged.

A few seconds of uncomfortable silence passed, before Gabriel spoke again. “Tell me who he is; I can make him the target of my next akuma", he offered.

Nathalie turned back to face him, remaining silent. "I don't..." she started, and then took another pause.

‘I don't think you would really like to kick your own butt’ was the reply she would have really wanted to give him. Instead, she opted for a "That's not the solution to the problem but, once again, thank you very much for the thought...sir." Her lips curved in an unsure half-smile.

“Gabriel,” Mr. Agreste corrected her We’re not in working mode now And anyone who makes the people I care about suffer deserves a punishment!"

Nathalie’s smile now seemed a little softer and more true. But still, she didn’t reply.

Gabriel leaned back on his arms. "I know what unrequited love feels like. Well, not actually love, but... before Emilie came around, I had a crush on a girl in my class, back in my high school freshman. I tried to court her for a while, but she never liked me back." Gabriel remained pensive for a while, thinking back to those times.

Then, he turned to Nathalie, who had been intently listening to his words. What I’m trying to say is... Even if he won't ever reciprocate you there's still plenty of time You're still young you're an amazing person, and you're good looking." He placed his hand on hers, smiling reassuringly. "You'll find the right person, eventually. Just like I found Emilie.”

Something faded noticeably in Nathalie's eyes, that had been glistening and hopeful up until that moment. “Let's hope so,” she replied swiftly, before pulling her hand away and glancing elsewhere.

Hidden behind the bushes of the mansion's garden, Nooroo and Duusu had been watching the entire scene.

“Well, that was a complete disaster, wasn't it?" Nooroo commented, cringing as he felt new waves of disappointment and sadness radiating from Nathalie, stronger than they were before her conversation with Gabriel. "That's what I get for listening to you!"

“I wouldn't call it a disaster", Duusu defended. "He said she is good looking!" The peacock kwami added gleeful, her eyes sparkling.

“Before telling her how he still loves Mrs. Agreste!" Nooroo reminded her. The butterfly kwami started to leave, but Duusu flew in front of him. He actually felt jealous on a few instances, these past days!” She said. "We're on the right path! Let me try a plan, next!"

Nooroo stood still, then sighed. “Fine. But I'll be around to keep an eye on you."

Duusu squealed excited, grabbing Nooroo's arms and making him fly in circles with her. “You'll see, Noo-noo. We'll get them together, eventually." The kwami exclaimed cheerfully. “And when we'll make it, everything will be amazing!"

#ml fanfic #my ficts #miraculous ladybug #the tales of ladybug and cat noir #gabriel agreste #nathalie sancoeur #gabriel x nathalie #GabeNath

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thefamouswhitewolf · 5 years ago

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It was a long winter and Geralt didn’t come down from Kaer Morhen until mid April, meaning the ground was still swampy and covered in muck, and the ponds and streams still had ice collecting at the edges. It meant cold baths in said bodies of water, and the wish for a warm bed by the time Geralt reached ground that wasn’t uneven and hard to sleep upon.

The fruit trees had begun to bloom and the smallest of the bothersome insects had woken from their winter slumber, forcing Roach to swat her tail endlessly and toss her head to avoid the mayflies that went for her eyes. Geralt swatted at them with his hand when they went for his face and growling, the Witcher made camp away from the water the insects enjoyed, meaning he was well hidden from the road, but had to walk a good distance to get fresh water.

One trip was to fill a pot with water for boiling some eggs; Geralt had met a trader along the road that didn’t show as much fear of a Witcher as usual. Pleased with a sale so early in his travels, the man sold Geralt a dozen duck eggs, two loaves of bread, a block of very hard, fragrant cheese, and a sack of potatoes. It was a good haul that Geralt wasn’t charged extravagantly for. The man thanked Geralt for lightening his load early on, and he left with a wave and bit of advice for the Witcher; there was a wandering spirit in the woods beyond the next town that didn’t hurt anyone, but haunted the woodsmen at night.

“Cryptid?” Geralt asked, sure that the man knew he meant monster.

“Nah. Word is it looks human. Sings a song that entrances, but then sucks the life outta them while they sleep. Don’t kill ‘em, just tires ‘em out. Be mindful, Witcher. I doubt it’s picky on what kinda man it catches.”

“Thanks.”

Geralt wasn’t exactly frightened of whatever was lying in wait for himself or another weary traveler; he could handle the worst of the monsters birthed from the bowels of the Continent. It was the trader’s mention that the creature didn’t kill its victims that had Geralt’s attention.

It could be something as simple as a succubus or incubus, but Geralt thought it may be a Manchachicoj; a very seductive yet deformed creature that wandered the world having relations with many people, in an attempt to seek out an impossible love with a kind, understanding human.

The Manchachicoj was an elusive creature Geralt had only read of in Vesemir’s bestiary, but he didn’t for a second think that they were extinct. He’d been surprised by the discovery of any number of beasts once thought obliterated from the Continent, and no amount of trader gossip and sworn statements from local villagers would make Geralt believe anything until he’d seen--or not seen-- things with his own eyes.

The woods the trader spoke of sat less than a half day’s ride from the base of the mountain and Geralt, still stocked up on supplies from Kaer Morhen and the trader, settled down for the afternoon in a small clearing away from the nearest stream, for the same reason as before: bugs. They weren’t nearly as bad where he was making his fire, and even Roach wandered away a little to munch the fresh spring grasses popping up at the base of nearly every tree in the forest.

Seeds and squirrel stores, no doubt, growing thick where the sun lit the ground and where the trees dripped water during the heavy spring rains.

Fire roaring and swords at his side against the log he’d rolled over for a bench, Geralt again boiled water from the stream and this time added all of his ingredients to it, making himself a thick stew. He wouldn’t hunt that night since he wanted to keep his presence low, but he had everything, including dried venison from the keep’s larder, to make a stew even Vesemir would eat, the picky bastard.

Only evening birdsong and the haunting chirps of the treefrogs came, as the sun began to set. Geralt had heard travelers on the road hours earlier and they didn’t so much as mention his camp. Most people were grateful for warmer weather and were eager to get on with their springtime business; a random fire in the woods with a saddled horse meant another traveler, no more. None suspected it was a Witcher in their midst.

There wasn’t even anything for Geralt to work on as he waited. His armour had been mended and his swords were sharpened long before he even left Kaer Morhen, so he closed his eyes and had a bit of a meditation break, listening to the crackling of the fire, the birds, the frogs.

He could pinpoint Roach’s snorts as she stalked through the longer grasses nearer the camp, and the sound of a lute coming from far off to his left.

A lute?

His eyebrows drew together as he rumbled a suspicious growl, opening his eyes and gathering his swords together, one in hand and the other over his back. It could be a man, some minstrel wandering from town to town now that the snows had ended and the road was again passable, or it could be some creature Geralt hadn’t seen before.

There weren’t any footfalls advancing on his camp site, but Geralt ducked back further into the woods anyway, keeping one eye on the fire so he didn’t lose his bearings. The scent of the burning wood was a good compass to a Witcher, but Geralt was trying to use his sense of smell to determine what was instead around him. Trees, rotting leaves, mud. Empty badger den, deer shit, rabbit shit, nightcrawlers.

He focused until the weaker scents became noticeable; pine tar, mushroom dust, the faintest hint of apple and cherry blossoms from the barely-open fruiting trees in the orchard on the outskirts of the town he’d already passed. Lavender.

That was different. Lavender was a plant grown only in the south of the Continent, and it wasn’t in bloom for nearly two more months, sometimes three, during a bad spring season. A liniment perhaps, or a balm? It certainly didn’t smell like anything other than a light scent on human skin.

Human skin. It wasn’t a creature sneaking up on his camp. It was a human.

Geralt slipped out from behind the knotty pine he’d used as a temporary shield and held his sword out only until the stranger came into view, then he lowered it so the threat was at least lessened.

The human was dressed in the bluest clothes, and the flamboyancy of them definitely suggested a performer of some kind. The lute strapped over the man’s back confirmed what Geralt had immediately suspected: a bard.

But a bard wandering through dense woods at night? Alone? A shapeshifter, perhaps? No human was stupid enough to do such a thing, unless they had a death wish.

Or a purpose.

Geralt’s medallion wasn’t reacting to magic or monster, so he listened without interruption. Though it didn’t mean the person before him wasn’t some kind of non-malevolent spirit. Trickster beings, woodland child spirits, fae folk; all were playful but harmless so the medallion often stayed silent in their presence.

“So,” the bard began, his voice light and his face pleasantly youthful. “The rumours in town were true. There is a Witcher in the woods. I suppose it’s better than a witch in the woods. Far more dangerous, those.”

Geralt snorted but didn’t immediately put his sword away. Wordplay was the trick of a great many forest spirits, and he wasn’t about to get himself killed simply because this was a very pretty looking being before him.

“Depends on the Witcher. I could kill you before you have the chance to make another sound.”

The bard smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners; aged slightly, Geralt thought, but still couldn’t be more than thirty or thirty-five in human years. “But you didn’t. Do Witchers kill humans? I thought you had some kind of honour code or something. No meddling in the affairs of men.”

“That only means I won’t kill a man at the request of another. If you’re a threat, I’ll easily dispatch you and be on my way.”

“But I’m not that; a threat, I mean. Just a bard, wandering the world on his way south now that the snows have ceased. Bloody winter was so long, wasn’t it? Anyway, care for some company? The townsfolk thought me mad to come in search of you but I’ve a taste for adventure and you, Sir Witcher, look very tasty.”

#musings #long fic is long #that's why it's behind a cut #I really should start posting on AO3 but there are so many better authors there #you darlings know who you are #with your Witcher aftercare #and Geralt selfcare #and Kaer Morhen winter fuckery YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE CIRCULAR BIRDY #geraskier eventually #first time meeting #not canon timeline compliant #not saying Jaskier's human because what fun is that?#might continue might not iono yet

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agadorable · 5 years ago

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May 3rd

Hi again,

I have a therapy appointment on Tuesday. I have no idea what I should talk about though. Like.... where do you start? This will be my first appointment and I feel like there’s just so much, and I need to sift through it and figure out what the meat of my appointment should be.

I saw a counselor for a month or so last year. Maybe it was more than a year ago... It was during my divorce. I told my husband that I didn’t want to be with him anymore, that I’d reached the end of my rope and had nothing left to give. He kept pushing and pushing and saying that he could change if I just gave him another chance. I told him I’d given him nothing but chances and this is what the end of the road looked like, that I couldn’t stay in this life anymore and if I didn’t make a change then I was afraid of what that would leave me with.

Hurting him was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. He hurt me in so many ways. He broke me down to nothing and still... all I feel is guilt that I hurt him.

When I told him this, he sprung to action. He was convinced that if he just got me to talk to a professional they would tell me that I’m seriously depressed and anxious and that’s why I’m lashing out at my marriage. Together they could ‘get me the help that I need’ and we could stay together.

He found a counselor and made an appointment. He wanted us to go together but I and the counselor agreed that maybe just talking one on one would be best for the first one. He was so caring and supportive and did all the things I’d been asking him to do for years. He reached out to my friends and told them that I was going through a really hard time and could use their support. He cleaned our bedroom and found pictures of my dead best friends. He propped them up front and center on my desk and hugged me after showing me the clean room he’d worked so hard on. “I just thought you’d like to have those out so you can see them,” he said into my ear as he hugged me. In that moment.... it felt so manipulative. He’d made me an appointment and then put it out to all my friends that I was struggling. He showed me pictures of my friends to make me sink lower. He wanted me as broken as I could be so that he could put me back together, and be the hero.

I went to my very first therapy appointment at 8pm on a Wednesday. By 8:15 I was being told that my marriage is a textbook example of emotionally abusive.

You know when your reality kind of... shifts? Like when you learn what sex is, or that everyone ha to eventually get their wisdom teeth removed, or you get diagnosed with something for life. Everything looks a little different. Some doors close and others open. That’s what it was.

At first, I thought... yeah but everyone could say that about their relationship a little, that’s just a trigger happy counselor wanting to point you in a direction, give you something to work with. So I took it in stride, tried not to over analyze. I went over the things I’d said in the first 15 minutes and thought I might’ve exaggerated a bit.

Then I left.

I sat in my car for a very long time. No radio, no phone, no cigarette, just silence. I stared at the fence and the falling snow and tried to figure out where to go from here.

I went home.

I went into the basement and sat on the couch. I might have texted my roommate and best friend before I left the parking lot, but I can’t be sure.

Also I didn’t have a couch, I sat on the busted armchair with the arm that’s falling off. I stared at the blank tv in front of me and he came tentatively into the living room. He asked what she said and then said that I didn’t have to talk about it. I sat and thought while he stood and wondered. I stared straight ahead and said ‘she told me that this sounds like a textbook example of an emotionally abusive relationship.’

He stood there, silent. I could see the anger and hurt building behind his eyes and then being forced back so that he could smile and tell me that that’s a really hard thing for him to hear, and that he’s going to think about the way he’s been acting and how it can be interpreted by me as abusive.

Here’s the thing, he never had any restraint. He would blow up at the drop of a hat and not care where we were. He’s thrown drinks at our roommates and then we laughed it off as playing around. He kicked a garbage can across the room and said that he tripped. He threw my cat across the room when he dug his claws into his leg accidentally and then fell to the floor like he’d been stabbed. He reacts and then deals with it later.

But right then, he was very calculated. He knew if he blew up then it would prove my point, and he needed to prove me wrong.

I’ve never been that numb before. It’s like I’d taken so much that I was full, and no longer had the ability to take any more, to feel any more. I’d said the words, ‘I want a divorce,’ and all that was left now was to stick to it. Dig in your heels, don’t let up, don’t slip backwards, don’t let go, you’re almost there, you’re almost free.

Thank god I have roommates. I never wanted to live with him alone. I didn’t trust him. I didn’t trust him to pay bills, or keep a job, or to treat me with respect when there’s no one there to impress, no witnesses to confirm that he’s a loving husband.

Don’t get me wrong, he was a very loving husband, I think. He was lots of fun and could be very helpful if the circumstances were right. We were together for eight years, there were of course good times. But the thing is... They don’t feel like they happened in my life. They happened in someone else’s. I was slowly thickening my walls, creating coping mechanisms, telling myself that everything was fine, looking for flaws in other’s relationships to validate mine.

I had very different reactions from my friends when I told them what I was told in therapy. Here’s the thing, most all of my friends were his friends first. Not all of them, but most. He’s got really, really good friends. They all told me that I was too good for him, and how lucky he was to have found me. They became my friends, and my support system. We lived with a married couple, and he had known them since high school, me since we started dating. They were not surprised. B was like, ‘yeah that seems about right.’ J was sad. He’d known G the longest, and put up with more abuse in their friendship than anyone over the years. He didn’t want to accept it, and hoped that things might be okay, but they weren’t. They were broken.

Now C was our friend from Pizza Hut, where G and I first met. We all worked together for years and became really close. Eventually, C moved onto another restaurant, and I followed a couple years later. Then a couple years after that, G came to join us there too. C officiated our wedding, and was always a huge support of our marriage. I never told her the really bad things, because I felt like showing that our marriage wasn’t perfect would be kind of like throwing away the gift they got you. I felt like I’d let her down.

I came to work and she asked right away, ‘how’d it go?’ I told her, and I could see her pulling away, putting up walls. She shook her head and said, ‘I feel like that’s something being thrown around a lot recently, and that people are too quick to jump to that conclusion.’ I don’t know if that was the exact wording but I know it hurt. It hurt really bad. It felt like I was making it up, like it wasn’t real, like I had to man up and not act like a victim.

Weeks later, maybe a month, I met up with C again. By that point I’d shared more of what had been happening. How he’d try to have sex with me while he (and I) was asleep, and then swear that he didn’t remember. Almost every night I’d have to try and push off 200 pounds of my 6′3′’ husband, shake him awake and yell for him to stop. HIs eyes were open when he did this, but his eyes weren’t seeing me. For all I know he had no control over himself, but after enough times, that doesn’t matter anymore. It would happen when he was awake too. I had to wear bras and pants and long shirts to bed or it would be too much for him to handle. We’d start by cuddling and soon he’s forcefully humping my hip or my ass and grabbing my chest, then pulling away and saying ‘sorry! God I’m so sorry, you’re just so sexy.’ I’d laugh softly and say ‘it’s okay, I’m sorry I’m just really tired.’

That would go on and on until he got mad that I wouldn’t let him go for it, or I would give in and let him. I’d sometimes get into it if I shut off my brain enough. If I stayed too present in my mind it would start to hurt, it would feel wrong, and I would panic and make him stop. But if I did that, it ended with me crying and apologizing and him feeling hurt and betrayed. It was easier to go somewhere else, and cry silently to myself after he started snoring.

C started seeing how G was acting at work. He was pulling people into private conversations and planting seeds of doubt on my behalf. He was talking about how much he’s trying and how little I was .How mean I was being and how much he still loved me. His smile was ever present, and he was always doing things to publicly help me and show me affection. It was manipulative, and effective.

I was talking to C and something in our friendship shifted. She said to me that she understood now, and she could see what I was talking about. She said that she was defensive because she didn’t see it before, and also that my situation was a little too familiar to her own, and hearing it labeled like that was hard. I completely understood. Looking in the mirror is fucking hard; you can put up with way more than you think, for way longer than you should.

I lost some friends, but none that I miss. It was a horrible time. He wouldn’t move out, so we had to do it for him. I wasn’t allowed to be home alone with him, but I had to work with him. He was served divorce papers at work. I agreed to go to one couple’s therapy appointment with him, on Valentine’s day, the day we first met.

G had started seeing a therapist on his own, and said that he was very depressed, and that’s why he was acting the way he was, and that he needed help with his issues and we could fix things.

When we got to the couple’s appointment, I noticed that there were a lot of pamphlets and signs about addiction and substance abuse. We went into a back room and started talking. Immediately, his argument shifted. All of our problems were suddenly because of my drinking, his put use, and our recent use of cocaine. We were addicts whose addiction was causing us to fall apart, that our problems weren’t real, and we couldn’t possibly separate before ditching the substances and going from there.

Here’s the thing... he’s right. Drugs were a huge problem in our relationship. I took a hit of weed early on, and he almost left me. He was disgusted that I’d do that and said he couldn’t be with someone who smoked weed. Okay, fine, I don’t even really like weed, it makes me sick and panicky. A year or so later he started smoking it. I said that I didn’t want him to do it all the time, but I understood that it was calming and if he wanted to occasionally that was fine. It turned into a bowl every couple of hours throughout the day, and I held my tongue. I brought it up once and it caused a fight, and he said that it helped keep his sex drive down since I would never have sex with him anyway.

Then, at a friend’s bachelorette party, I tried coke. And damn... I loved it. I was so ashamed of myself when I admitted to him that I tried it. He wasn’t upset, and said he wanted to try it too. So we did, and then we didn’t stop. I was working two jobs and like 75 hours a week at the time, and being able to stay up and read a book after I got home was frankly awesome. But then the next day would come. The next day is the worst. You’re so low, and everything is awful, and you never want to be sober again. I did let us continue to spend my money on it for a while, I did. But after a while, my extra cash was gone, and I was worried about the effects it was having on my mental health. I told him over and over that I wanted to stop, that we shouldn’t do it anymore, not to ask me because it was too easy to make an exception and say ‘just one more time.’

I don’t know if that’s fair. I don’t know if it was all his fault that we kept going, that my money was disappearing. I started hiding it in different places, pretending that I was just trying to save it. But he would find it. He’d ask in a way that I couldn't say no to. It started causing big problems, and I was afraid of the path that I was going down. My savings was gone, I was losing weight, and I didn’t feel anything anymore. But still, he’d be in a situation where it just made sense to buy more, and could he please just borrow my debit card? He’d pay me back as soon as he could.

It got to the point that enough was enough.

The fight in the snow.

J and B were out of town, and we had the house to ourselves. We didn’t have any drugs, I had to work in the morning and didn’t want to do anything. He came downstairs, looking a little tipsy, which meant he was very drunk. He told me that he had an idea for my birthday, he wanted to get backstage vip passes to see of Monsters and Men. Now, I know like one song. Maybe it was a different band, I don’t remember. Either way, it was a band that I liked but wasn’t important enough to me to justify spending 400 dollars of my money so that we could go see and meet them on my birthday. Because he didn’t have any money at this point. He was working 12 hours a week and hadn’t found anything else yet.

I told him, as gently as I could, that I thought that was a great idea but that maybe we could just get regular tickets since they’re not one of my favorite bands and maybe saving our money was more important.

He broke. Instantly he was a failure, I hated the idea he had worked so hard on, that he had put so much thought into. He drank more. He went and smoked a bowl, then another. He put pizza in the oven. He started some toast.

I came upstairs when I heard something burning. he was swaying, listening to music in his phone, and the toaster was smoking. I popped the toast and asked if he wanted me to make him some more toast since this burned. He started muttering about how I just thought he was drunk, that he was just a drunk asshole again. He said that I’m better off without him and should just leave him.

I tried to talk him down, to say that I didn’t think he was stupid or an asshole, I just wanted to help him with the toast. He said he was just going to leave and grabbed his keys. His keys to the car that I bought him. It was our roommate’s car and he was trying to sell it. G borrowed it and hit another car, so instead of repairing it I just bought it off our roommate.

G was way too drunk to drive. I went outside after him and said that he was NOT driving tonight, and to please just come back inside. He turned to me and shouted something. I don’t remember because the look on his face was terrifying. It was like he didn’t even recognize me. He turned and threw his keys as hard as he could into the snow. It was 2 in the morning by this point, and there are no street lights in our neighborhood.

I said to him,’did you really just throw your keys??’ And he said, quietly, ‘you see what happens when you make me mad?’ That’s when I shut down. I’d had enough, there was no coming back from that point. That sentence spoke volumes about the past 8 years, and I had had enough.

I searched for his keys for hours because he wouldn’t come inside until he found them, and he was never going to find them. I came inside, pulled his burned pizza out of the oven, and he collapsed on the kitchen floor and started sobbing. He said he was a piece of shit and he treated me like shit, that I deserved better. I combed his hair with my fingers, his head in my lap, and told him that he was wrong, that I loved him, and that I wanted to be with him.

The next morning I woke up at 7, found his keys right away, hung them on the hook, and went to work. He texted hours later telling me that he was sorry and could I ever forgive him? I said yes, and didn’t even know I was lying.

So yeah... There’s that. I’ve got a lot of issues. I’m not sure how many of them are mine and how many of them were learned from G, but I’ve got em. And I don’t really know where to start in talking about them. I guess we’ll just have to see on Tuesday!

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ryan-spinel · 5 years ago

Note

This time I get to ask you something! >:3 My question(s): Why do you like/love so much Steven x Spinel? What made you love this ship? When did it started? And what do you think about SU and their future (not SUfuture, but their future as characters and story development)??

Thank you so much for the ask , I alway love answering asks.

So, I’ll have to start from the beginning to answer all your questions, so brace yourself.

It all started when Steven Universe the movie aired. In the back of my mind, I thought it was just going to be one of those cliche kids movies. But I was wrong. When I first saw spinel when she came to earth, it felt a little weird. I just thought that their introducing this new character when the shows about to end, I just thought that this was going to be a forgettable villain. But I was wrong. When spinel reformed, I thought she was the cutest little thing in the hole universe. I have never seen a fictional character this adorable, I was figuratively crying the hole time reset spinel was on screen. Although, I was a little mad that Steven was just putting her aside. In most of the movie, it just felt that he was doing the same things pink diamond did. What made be rage was that it felt like he was manipulating her it turn off the injector. It just felt like Steven was out of character. But I did love when the two sang Found together, I was also crying during that moment.

After the movie, a seed was planted. It wasn’t growing yet. So I looked on the internet for spinel stuff. That’s when on YouTube I saw this video.

Warning: it does have suicidal themes

youtube

After the video, my point of view changed on their relationship. In the beginning, I thought Steven was using her for his personal gain. So I said, 🤬 canon, I’m focusing on this beautiful 💩. It’s a great video, it’s sort of like the last video I posted.

So, that was the time. the seed was starting to sprout.

I needed more and more fast. So I discovered this fanfic website called AO3. That was the moment I saw the fic that changed my life forever, OTG by @monsterritory . The way he wrote this fic was a masterpiece, it was just so well written. Fluff, angst, smut it had it all. It was indeed a beautiful read. To this day, I red all around 32 chapters of this amazing well written literature.

That was the moment that the sprout bloomed its first Petal.

Because of OTG, I discovered a place that has all the stevinel things I need

Tumblr

I saw beautiful artwork of stevinel by amazing artist. I red amazing fanfics by amazing people. That’s when I found something I like, I was fully consumed by stevinel.

Although Because of that, I got a lot of hate as well. It never stopped me from shipping stevinel, but it hurt that tumblr accounts that had amazing spinel art, said a lot of horrible things over a fictional ship. But I got a lot of hate on discord. Saying bad things about me and what I like.

So I turned to @kloaa for advice. They said and I quote “fuck them” . So that’s what I did. I blocked people who spammed my account with hate. I still visit accounts that do hate stevinel, but I just like the art and audios. I don’t interact with it, just to avoid hate. Now I stick with people who like stevinel, nice people that won’t judge you over something stupid like a fictional ship. It still hurts me that I sometimes get hate over this ship, not as often anymore. So I just ignore it the bets I can.

That was the moment the seed fully turned into a beautiful rose. The stevinel rose.

I would have to say about their future, It’s hard to say Because I follow a lot of stevinel AUs . But like I said before, 🤬 canon. I don’t care about canon anymore. Because because of canon, people have become toxic over ships. Personally, I don’t like Conniverse or spinearl. Although I have seen cute art about the ships but that’s all.

But that doesn’t mean that I’m going to waste my time cyber bullying people over ships that I don’t like. I respect people who ship them, I just don’t what people attack me over the ships I like, that’s all I ask.

So when it comes to there future, it has a lot of possibilities. But it would be to long for me to say all the theories I have in the AUs I read. So probably, I just want a cute happy ending for my babies.

Thank you again for this ask, you and almost every stevinel artist is so kind hearted and talented.

Have a great day and love a spinel

Seriously, who wouldn’t fall in love with this cutie, Steven is so lucky 🍀

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captainmeowvelwrites · 4 years ago

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You Times Two (Ch.8)

Pairing: Marinette/Ladybug | Adrien/Chat Noir Words: 3043 Summary: Ladybug knew this was necessary. She was the Guardian. He had the Cat Miraculous. But when his suit evaporated in a glow of pale green, she sure hadn’t expected him to have something far more precious: her heart. Cross-posted: AO3 and FFN

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | ...

Recap: Previously, on You Times Two… Clumsy Girl fell hard for the sidewalk, sent macarons flying, and was starkly reminded of her feelings for Sonata the Hedgehog. Meanwhile, Jealadrien made his saucy debut, but blamed his funky stomach feels on his breakfast, and as he, Salami and Marimoo arrived at Alya’s front door, he unwittingly saddened our fav gal by mentioning his imminent date. Will envy run amuck during their gaming afternoon? And will Buginette get her feelings back on track? Read forth, my furiends, and find out!

---

Chapter Eight

Marinette stared down the scuffed floor of the stair landing, if only to hide the sting in her eyes and what it truly meant. She blinked – once, twice, thrice – and clung to the carton of macarons, so hard the cardboard let out a faint crack beneath her fingertips. She was waiting outside Alya’s apartment: the third wheel to a bicycle, soon to be the fifth to a quad bike. Not that she was mad. Well, not at Adrien.

She’d suggested a candlelit dinner. She’d told him to ask Kagami out properly. She’d planted the seeds in his mind. And God, if the night of Glaciator was anything to go by, she’d bet her earrings he’d planned the most swoon-worthy of dinners. Had he decided Kagami made him happier than Ladybug? Did he plan to make their relationship official? To make her his girlfriend?

Adrien’s polished shoes shifted from the corner of her eye. “Marinette?” The concern that coated his voice had her lifting her head. “Are—”

The apartment door squeaked open, and the familiar herbal scent of Marlena’s houseplants flooded the stairwell.

“Why hello, boy and girls!” Alya’s eyes zipped across the three of them. “Weiiird. It feels like we talked just seconds ago!”

Adrien’s eyes snapped ahead, model smile at the ready. “Hey, Al,” he said, readjusting the pizza boxes. “You took the words right out of my mouth!”

Kagami offered a little half-bow. “Thank you for welcoming me into your home.”

“S’all good, Kagami!” Alya's attention turned to Marinette, and her grin wavered.

"Uh - Hi, Al!" Marinette pasted on a smile. "I'm here on time for once!" Had her hands been free, she’d have whipped out some jazz hands for extra oomph.

Alya shook her head. “Dang, girl! You sick or something?” She stepped aside with a lively, “Come on in, squad. Shoes can stay on.” She eyeballed Adrien. “Being exposed to your shoeless feet once was enough for me.”

His ears reddened. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The image of Plagg’s gooey Camembert squelching around in his shoes hit Marinette and suddenly, her smile came more freely. They had another joint patrol tonight. She’d have to ask him where he stowed it all.

They’d just crowded in the entry hallway when Nino bounded on up, his sneakers pounding on the parquet floor. “Hey, ma dude!” He threw an arm around Adrien, nearly bowling him over. “Thanks for keeping the pizzas away from Marinette.”

“Marinette was bluffing,” Kagami interjected, her lips splitting into an awkward grin. The corner of Marinette’s own mouth rose in recognition. “She led us up the stairs right after making her threat. She never intended to eat the pizzas without you.”

Two seconds ticked by as Nino and Alya bore witness to Kagami’s pearly whites. “Err,” Nino drawled, first to shatter the silence. “Riiight.” He pulled his trademark finger guns.

“Yo, Kagami!” Alya planted a hand on her hip. “Ready for the grand tour? Adrien, you might as well tag along.”

Marinette didn’t miss the scheming glint in Alya’s eyes as they swept from Kagami to Adrien, then her to Nino. “In the meantime, babe, can you give M a hand with fixing things up?”

Nino readjusted his cap. “You got it, Al.” He reached for the pizza boxes in Adrien’s arms. “I’ll take those off your hands, bro.”

The instant he did, Kagami took Adrien’s hand in hers.

“Alrighty, ladies and gents!” Alya nodded toward a lone door on her left. “Right there is the bathroom, where yours truly fabulizes herself every morning.” After a sassy flick of her fiery hair, she gestured to the pale wall on their right, which stretched to the far end of the apartment, its surface busied by tribal masks and animal paintings. “All those doors lead to the bedrooms, which brings me to the most important part of our tour.” The volume of her voice faded as she led the hand-in-hand couple past the kitchen, the dining room, the lounge – all open-plan – and through the furthest door. “Here is your royal highness’ room!” She shut the door behind them.

“So,” Nino drawled.

Only then did Marinette realise she’d watched Adrien every step of the way.

Or rather, his hand.

In Kagami’s.

She ripped her eyes from Alya’s bedroom door and threw Nino her most inconspicuous smile, hoping it was enough.

“Do you – uh – like triple cheese?” He jerked the pizza boxes a little higher in his arms. “Could I interest you in a slice? Or two. Maybe three. As many as you need.”

“Triple cheese sounds great.”

With a nod, Nino led her down the short corridor, around the corner and into the kitchen. Red overran her vision, a result of the dated cabinets that lined the wall to their left. He laid the three pizza boxes across the island bench, her carton of macarons soon joining them.

Flipping back the lids, the aroma of melted mozzarella and spicy pepperoni warmed the air. In a matter of moments, napkins layered the polished bench before them, and pizza sagged between their fingers. One bite of pizza and her troubles seemed just a little smaller. Two and they were melting like mozzarella in one of those nifty clay ovens.

A self-assured voice travelled through Alya’s door.

“—our first date – couple—”

Was Kagami talking about tonight?

“—no doubt – perfect—”

Marinette squinted, like that’d help her hear bett—

Splat.

A glob of mozzarella slid off her steaming slice and onto the bench.

“Hey…” Nino’s voice was oddly gentle, much like his eyes when she met them. “I’m sorry about my dude. He’s pretty clueless sometimes.”

“What? No, I just—” Her sight sunk to the bench, zeroing in on the glob of mozzarella. She plucked it up, dumped it on her napkin, and sighed. “Sorry. I’m trying to get over him.”

Nino offered her a smile of solidarity. “It’ll be okay, M.” He propped his arms upon the bench, eyes sinking to his pizza. “I figured he’d tell me if they were official, you know?”

“Um – They’re not official?”

“They’re not?”

Wait.

Did Nino not even know?

“Well, uhh…” She toyed with the edge of her napkin. “Adrien told me he didn’t think they were official yet, despite what people have been saying. But they are going out on a date tonight, so...” Any words thereafter only clung to her tongue, refusing to be given voice.

“Really?” His brows squished together. “When’d he say that? How’d this even come up?”

“Well, I left my backpack at school yesterday, so he dropped it off. I took the chance to congratulate him and – uh – that’s when he asked for my advice.”

“Man,” he murmured, cupping his chin, “maybe I should talk to him. See where his head’s at.”

Marinette tensed. “Ju-Just – If you do, please don’t tell him I said anything. I – I thought you knew. And besides”—the volume of her voice dropped in time with her eyes—“Kagami’s right. I hesitated. I had my chance – heck, I’ve had hundreds of chances – but at the end of the day, I just can’t seem to bring myself to tell him how I feel.”

Nino shifted closer on his barstool and set a hand on her shoulder. “Well, Marinette, sometimes the slowest turtles are the ones that win the race.”

Images of a green-clad superhero played in her mind’s eye. She couldn’t help but giggle. He’d made a great Carapace. Goodness, even now, without the Turtle Miraculous, he was still looking out for Ladybug.

And now that she thought about it, maybe there was a truth to Nino’s words that even he was unaware of. The bond between Ladybug and Chat Noir was second to none, built from a year of blind trust and friendship. If Chat Blanc was anything to go by, a sudden confession from her could end the world. Perhaps things were better this way.

Bunnyx sure seemed to think so. She knew Marinette was Ladybug. It wasn’t a stretch to assume she knew Chat Noir’s identity too. Even Hawk Moth’s. When Timetagger terrorised Paris, Bunnyx had hopped in and suggested through flailing hand motions that love between her and Chat Noir would be messy. Was that because of timing? Or were they just not meant to be?

“Well,” Nino tore her from her thoughts, “the slowest turtle usually wins the race… but not in Mario Kart!” He grinned, prodding a thumb over his shoulder, toward the living room. “Ready to eat my dust?”

There was a glint in her eye. “May the fastest turtle win.”

---

Their pizzas downed, Marinette and Nino made their way onto the immense L-shaped sofa. Thumbs soon flicked joysticks. Fingers scurried across tiny buttons. An upbeat soundtrack bounced through the TV speakers. On a particularly tight corner, Marinette’s character drifted by Nino’s in a flash of yellow and pink.

He growled, gripping the controller tighter. “How are you so good at gaming?!”

She threw her nose in the air, a twinkle in her eye. “Practice.”

Seconds later, a turtle shell crashed into her character, lurching Princess Peach into the air. She didn’t lose first place, but that didn’t stop her from pouting. “How do you keep hitting me?! You can’t even aim the green ones!”

Grinning, he pinched the brim of his cap. “Practice.”

To the left of the TV, Alya’s bedroom door eased open, and the queen herself peeked through the crack. Seeming satisfied by the sight of them gaming up a storm, she swung her door the rest of the way and sashayed into the living room, Adrien and Kagami in tow. The latter stopped to study the screen. “Who’s winning?”

Adrien didn’t miss a beat. “Marinette, of course.” He ducked past the TV, careful of obstructing their view.

Her breath accelerated in time with the music tempo as she commenced her final lap. It had absolutely nothing to do with Adrien claiming the empty spot to her right, the sofa sagging a smidge beneath his weight. Kagami was close behind, and despite the minimal leg room, she squeezed into the actual corner of the L-shaped sofa, right beside him.

“Dude,” Nino was screeching, “you have so little faith in me!”

“Sorry, Nino.” Adrien let out a little laugh. “I’m sure you’ll beat her one of these days.”

“You are so not helping.”

Alya plopped down beside Nino and planted a peck on his cheek. “At least you’re not far behind, babe.”

“No, but I will be if you keep doing that.”

Not even a minute later, Marinette sprung to her feet with her fists in the air. “YES! I win! Marinette style! Booyah!” With a second fist pump, she almost lost the controller to the ceiling—but she didn’t, ‘cause she was a winner. And of course, that warranted a fervid victory dance, so she did just that; her hands swept from left to right and back again as she chanted, “Uh huhhh! Oh yeahhh! I’m the best! Uh huh!”

Her theatrics were only urged on by the laughter that layered the air (around eighty five percent of which might’ve just come from a certain kitty cat).

Nino thumped a hand on the round coffee table ahead. “I demand a rematch,” he squawked, “on two hundred CC!”

Marinette spared her nails a cheeky glance. “Ha! You’re on, chump.” In the wake of her victory, she was well on her way to feeling normal again. “Let Master Dupain-Cheng show you how it’s done!”

True to her word, she pulverized him.

---

For the next half hour, chit-chat and banter filled the airy apartment, as the quintet savoured their fill of pizza. Four slices remained, tucked away in a cardboard box on the coffee table for Luka.

A four-player game of Mario Kart had ensued.

Marinette was winning.

Adrien was hot on her trail.

Alya and Nino were half a lap behind, after two run-ins with a certain yellow fruit.

And Kagami was keeping a curious eye on the TV, no doubt making mental notes for her first attempt next round.

“Ready, guys?” Adrien jumped to his feet. “Here it comes.” His character, a burly ape on a hefty quad-bike, was fast approaching a ramp. “Donkey Kong dab in three, two, one!” He dabbed in time with his character, complete with a dramatic grunt.

Marinette’s eyes remained on the screen, but that didn’t stop a smile from puffing her cheeks.

Nino, adamant that “whole body steering” was a legit strategy, unknowingly tilted into her personal space. “Bro,” he exclaimed, “was the grunt really necessary?”

“Absolutely,” Adrien quipped. “It elevates the dab to a whole new level—”

“Babe,” Nino cut in, now leaning right into Alya’s space. “What’re you doing? Get outta my way. Get outta my way. Get outta my—”

“Nu uh, Nini! Get your stupid dinosaur outta my—”

“Dude!” He thumped his feet on the floor like Gigantitan 2.0, and Marinette’s eyes flicked to his section of the screen just in time to catch the tail-end of his kart spinning. “Another freaking banana?!”

“Ha!” Adrien voiced, triumphant. “Yes. Peel the pain of my slippery secret weapon!”

Alya snorted. “The pain of your puns isn’t bad enough?”

“Just call me Banadrien.”

“Bro? You can’t think up something better than that?”

Marinette’s smile turned wry. “Don’t you mean something more apeeling?”

Adrien gave a hearty laugh. “See? M gets it.”

She narrowly escaped an explosive, green turtle shell. Since when did Adrien use that nickna—

Gasping, she clutched the controller closer.

A certain pesky primate had crept into the corner of her screen.

“No no no no no!”

“Yes yes yes yes yes!”

She shoved her thumb against the accelerator button, so hard a tiny circle was surely forming on her skin. “Adrien, get your creepy ape away from me!”

“That was the perfect opportunity for a Planet of the Apes reference. I am so disappointed in you!”

Adrien’s conniving cackles enlivened the room, but now was not the time to admire the unbridled joy in his voice, nor the throatiness of his chuckles. Her face scrunched as she wrestled with her thoughts. For goodness’ sake, Kagami was sitting right next to him!

Holding her breath, Marinette dared a peek at the silent girl. Kagami’s hand cupped her chin, her eyes set on the screen. She eased her head onto Adrien’s shoulder—

Princess Peach zoomed straight over a poorly concealed banana peel, the wheels of her kart skimming the track with a dizzying spin.

His pesky monkey shot straight past and—

“NO!”

“YES!”

Kagami placed a hand on Adrien’s knee, which had bobbed wildly for most of the race. “Well done, Adrien,” she praised, patting his knee twice.

“It’s not over yet,” Marinette declared.

The music amped up, Adrien now in the lead and commencing his third and final lap. Marinette was close behind.

Alya unleashed a throaty groan. “Adrien, you and your bananas are driving me cray!”

“Dude! How many do you have?!”

Adrien sniggered. “I’m gonna hazard a guess and say a bunch.”

“But how?!” Nino screeched.

“I guess you could say they were ripe for the picking.”

Marinette rolled her eyes. “Gosh, Banadrien! Stop distracting me with your lame puns!” From her peripheral vision, she caught his grin inch wider. He leaned well within her bubble and her Chadrien Alarm™ blared like an air horn.

“Now you’re just hurting my peelings.”

Her heart thundered in her ears. She didn’t trust herself to speak. No, instead she elbowed his gut, which only encouraged another laugh. Suddenly, she was laughing too.

That is, until she glimpsed Kagami’s thumb shift a smidge atop the black denim of his jeans. Her hand hadn’t left his knee.

“M, you’re falling behind!” Alya cried, snapping her to attention. “Quick! Cut corners!”

“Find shortcuts!” Nino added.

“Run him off the track!” said Alya. “You don’t want him banana punning for the rest of the day, do you?”

Marinette giggled. “Shouldn’t you be taking your own advice?”

“Girl, we’re a lap behind.”

“Yeah, we’re just cruisin’ at this point. You’ve still got a chance!”

Marinette honed in on the TV. His quad bike was up ahead. Only half a lap remained. Things weren’t looking good, but that’s never stopped her before.

Her tongue peeked through her lips.

“Oh! Oh!” Alya made an exaggerated gasp. “She’s got her game face on, boys and girls!”

“She’s catching up!” Nino cheered.

They were right. So maybe if she really dug in and focussed—

“Say yellow to my triple bananas!”

Three slippery suckers clustered behind Adrien’s motoring monkey. He released the first.

She dodged it.

He let loose his second.

Another dodge.

The third.

Yet another dodge-a-roonie.

“You really aren’t living up to your nickname, Banadrien.” With a satisfying jingle, her character rocketed through a mystery box—but suddenly, she was whirling at the hands of a despicably well-placed banana. “WHAT!?” Her eyes bulged.

“You were saying?” He sent her his signature wink.

She sputtered—for words or air, she couldn’t be sure. That sly cat! Had he planted that sucker on their previous lap?

Donkey Kong whooshed over the finish line.

Nino and Alya’s jaws dropped in unison, their gasps rocking the room.

“Yea-hea-heah!” Adrien launched to his feet, Kagami’s hand falling from his knee, though the smile on her lips was as apparent as his excitement. He whipped out a fervent victory dab—once more in sync with his character. “Beat you by a banana split second. Adrien style!” With dramatic flair, he threw Marinette some dual finger guns. “Booyah!”

She burst into a fit of laughter. Gosh, if this was the price to pay for losing to her partner, she honestly couldn’t complain. “Next—“ She wheezed. “Next round I will reign victorious!”

His shoulders shook with his every snicker. “Seems our Gamer Princess is salty she got dethroned!” He flashed a smirk and suddenly, all she saw was her cheeky kitty. All she felt was a fierce thumping in her chest. And all she could do was beam up at that face and those eyes and the pure joy that sang within them.

Why yes, she’d been dethroned.

And if he acted like this every time, she’d lose again in a banana split second.

#ml fic #miraculous ladybug #you times two #adrinette #marichat #ladynoir #ladrien

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everly-kindred · 5 years ago

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Everly’s Diary - Entry #29

Synopsis: Eve reflects on the events of the past week, celebrates Mabon, and details her first successfully cast spell!

Words: 1,252

Date: 24th of September, 2026

Dear Diary,

So much has happened! So, so much! I don’t even know where to begin. I really should keep up with writing more often, but this school has me so exhausted that by the end of the day, I simply collapse in bed without another thought.

I’ll start with a weird dream I had the other night. I woke up from it feeling kinda sad and lonely, but also sort of wistful? Like… I appreciated nature more. I appreciated beautiful flowers more, and all the animals and plants I saw. I was standing in a field of roses and sunflowers in the dream, and the sky was full of stars and the aurora borealis. I looked up, and a pale pink opal-eye dragon was soaring overhead. It was beautiful but I just… felt really hollow when I woke up? I talked to someone named Cheryl in my house, and Bonnie about it. I think it might’ve just been homesickness, but I’m not sure…

Earlier in the week, I met Aures in the Great Hall during lunch. Talula was there, along with another Hufflepuff boy, and a girl who I learned is a Gryffindor. She was a veela and… three veelas in one space was… weird for me. I felt like I couldn’t look up from my feet or else I’d get burned or something, not that that makes any sense. I just… It’s like trying not to look into the sun, with all three of them together. Like I’d go blind if I did look at them. Which is silly, I know.

Anyways, Aures mentioned that Everett had called her dove and she’d given him a flower, which made the other veela girl get upset. Talula tried calming her down, but Aures and I didn’t stick around to find out if it had worked. Then, she and I went to the library to talk. We talked about Ruby and her issue with him, and I told her he’s just having a hard time. We made amends there and now it’s water under the bridge, and I couldn’t be happier about it! I hate feeling awkward with someone I care about.

I ended up getting her a ring. Well, I got us both matching rings, I mean. Mine is a lock in the shape of a heart, and hers is a key. Sort of like friendship bracelets, but rings. Like a promise. And then I told her I was a seer. She didn’t seem scared of me or doubtful. In fact, she compared me to a faery queen from a book she’d read, who could see the future! She told me she’d lend it to me sometime. I can’t wait to read it. I hope she lets me see it soon, so I can read it on a weekend.

Speaking of weekends, this past Saturday was Mabon. To celebrate, I went to the Homemaking Magic room and made some autumnal foods for me, Venus, Cornelius, and Puck. We had our own little feast! I made pumpkin pasties, apple tarts, squash soup, and some other things. It was really nice. I’d even brought some little candles that smelled like cinnamon. It was very cozy, especially with the rain. It’s been raining so much, and I love it!

As far as my classes go, I’ve definitely had some very interesting ones! For extra credit, Hufflepuff house went out into the rain and planted pumpkin seeds. And then I also had Care of Magical Creatures outside with Professor Riley. She took us down to the lake and showed us Grindylows. I talked to Everett a little, and also got to see my mentor, Verity. Though she didn’t seem to like Everett much, and I wonder why. Her little brother Lex ran me down on accident, and I nearly broke my glasses, but Marigold found them. Everett was very nice to me in that class!

Lex was volunteered to demonstrate and had been grabbed by the grindylows in the water. The older students were supposed to cast spells to save him. It was pretty scary, honestly! And then Lex and Verity and Everett all seemed mad at each other. They were saying unkind things, but then Everett fell and hit his jaw on the ground and couldn’t talk anymore. I walked him to the hospital wing. I’m worried about him, actually! I’ve heard some weird rumors about him being in the hospital wing with burns? I’ll need to check on him at some point. I hope it isn’t true.

Another funny thing that happened was charms class. One of the professors, Crawford, really liked spraying rose perfume. It makes me sneeze a lot when she does that, so I have to cover my nose. Well, someone (who I later learned was Talula) stole the perfume bottle. The professor was about to punish the entire class for it! So I spoke up and lied and said it was me. The professor seemed satisfied, but then… All the other hufflepuffs in the class tried to take the blame for it! I’ve never felt so… part of a group before? Because every single one of them claimed to be the one that had taken it, to spare the others. It was really sweet, actually. I was expecting to get a house detention for all of Hufflepuff, but apparently, someone ratted out Talula.

I had flying class, as well. The professor had asked that we go to class in autumn colours and not be in uniform, but I hadn’t had time to change, and neither had Bobby. So as a sort of fun ‘punishment,’ the professor had us sit on a broom and have pumpkin guts thrown at us. I didn’t get to sit on the broom because it had been the end of class by the time it was my turn, so I wore a bowl of pumpkin guts as a hat. I had to pick a lot of pumpkin seeds out of my hair that night! The professor had us work on broom repairs that class, and now I have a busted up old broom that I’ve vowed I will bring back from the dead.

And the best thing, I’ve saved for last! I went to Defense Against the Dark Arts with Professor Vikander. The whole room was freezing at first, but then he made it get really hot, and then he made it thunderstorm. I guess it’s part of his whole, “Be prepared for anything,” thing he has us learning about. Anyways, I had to stand at a podium and wingardium leviosa a feather during class, and… It took a lot of tries, but I finally did it! I cast my very first spell! I want to give Vikander something to sort of… thank him I guess, but I can’t imagine he likes normal flowers. I mean, the man is scary! Maybe he could be the kind of person who secretly has a soft spot for things like that, but I really doubt it. So tomorrow morning, I’m going to send an owl to Professor Dracheblume and see if she can’t help me find a more appropriate plant. I also need to write home about my first spell!

I wanted to look through my herbology book for ideas about plants, but I need to sleep now. I have astronomy in a few hours. We’re supposed to meet in the tower at midnight. It’s exciting, but Merlin, I can tell I’m going to be tired.

Much love, Everly

About the Character: Everlina Rosemary Kindred is an imaginative Hufflepuff attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She keeps up with her magical journey through a series of diary entries, dream journals, and tarot readings, all documented for future reflection. Her diary is a small glimpse into her enchanted life, and her adventure into the wizarding world and all its splendors. If you’d like more information about Eve, visit her wiki page.

About the Author: My name is Katherine! I am a 21-year-old Hufflepuff & Pukwudgie from Louisville, Kentucky. This page is my creative journey into the magical world, through the lenses of Second Life. Here I post diary entries, dream journals, and tarot readings all from my character’s perspective. If you’d like more information about me, visit my Flickr!

#harry potter #witch #diary #hufflepuff #magic #journal #hogwarts #mischief managed #secondlife

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cfcblogadmin-blog · 6 years ago

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Thanksgiving Service | 5/1/19

Hey GoP,

Welcome to 2019 errybodyyy! Our first service of the year was a Thanksgiving Service in the Thanksgiving Hall ;) where we look back and said goodbye to 2018 by sharing the things that we were thankful for throughout the year.

Shujing also shared a word on how we should always be giving thanks regardless of the current circumstance and whether or not we have seen a miracle happen yet.

Feeding of the Five Thousand

But he answered, “You give them something to eat.”

They said to him, “That would take more than half a year’s wages[a]! Are we to go and spend that much on bread and give it to them to eat?”

“How many loaves do you have?” he asked. “Go and see.”

When they found out, they said, “Five—and two fish.”

Then Jesus directed them to have all the people sit down in groups on the green grass. So they sat down in groups of hundreds and fifties.Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to distribute to the people. He also divided the two fish among them all. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces of bread and fish. The number of the men who had eaten was five thousand. - Mark 6: 30-44

In the story of the Feeding of the Five Thousand, the disciples had had a long day. They were supposed to be withdrawing to the countryside to rest but then were followed by a huge crowd. The massive gathering was unplanned and in the middle of nowhere, with no nearby places to get food. When the crowd got hungry, the disciples were hungry too, yet there were only 5 loaves and 2 fishes to be shared.

The situation wasn’t looking good at this point, yet Jesus gave thanks for what little they had, before the miracle had happened. In this story, the miracle only happened after thanks was given and in the same way there are situations in life where we need to continue giving thanks despite the situation in faith that the miracle is coming up.

Shujing also made a comparison between the Feeding of the Five Thousand and the Last Supper. During the Feeding of the Five Thousand, an unfavourable situation had been turned around by Jesus, the powerful, miracle-working teacher. However, at the Last Supper, a festive mood where the disciples were eating a big meal quickly turned sour as Jesus became the suffering, rejected servant. When we follow Christ, we identify not just with the powerful, miracle-working teacher that He can be but also with the suffering, rejected servant that He chose to become for our sake. Therefore, as Christian, we should continue to be tenkful regardless of miracle or persecution.

Testimonies/Thanksgiving

Carlos (Chozone)

Firstly, I’d like to thank my cell leader Keith. When I think of what kind of man I aspire to be, it'd be Keith. He's that much of a role model to me. Not because he lifts weights and is super smart but really because of his heart for others. Whenever I share with him what I have on my head or am troubled, he always puts in max effort in replying and giving me advice and doesn't belittle whatever I say, even if its as lame as me being insecure about my braces or who I have a crush on. But more than that, he treats me like a brother rather than some kid who is 8 years younger than him. I really cannot express how blessed I am to have such an amazing leader like Keith. I love you bro even though you're in the US right now, and thank you so much for showing and teaching me how to really be a man of God.

I also want to thank Faithe Poh. The person who tolerates my nonsense the most. My blueticked messages, emo phases and etc. I gave a her a really hard time. But thats why I love and appreciate her so much. She laughs with me and cries with me. When I was going through a really tough season in my life, she just kept encouraging me and praying for me. Honestly, theres really nothing much else I can say about her. She's just amazing. Replying my texts in the middle of her night shift, even if they’re stupid. She came all the way to Toa Payoh to watch and support me during competition, sends me Bible verses, before my school year starts and is just genuinely curious and wants to know about whats going in my life . So, Faithe, thank you so so so much!! Thank you for not making our relationship that of cell kid to leader but as friends, for always being proud of me and loving me even when I've slipped and for showing me that being a leader is more than just the title.

Lastly I want to thank all the other Chozone leaders: Serene, Eli, Jade, Joy, Ben, Lizzy, Angie, Beli and our zone leader Chloe. Thank you for investing the time and effort serving in GOP despite being super busy with school and work. We love y'all and are glad to have you guys as leaders.

Esther (Chozone)

I am really thankful for Beli, who was my cell leader this year. She has really been taking care of me. Although sometimes she is busy, she would force herself to text me. I have to admit that in the past when she texted me, I felt annoyed and didn't text her back on time. But she still continued to text me. At the beginning of 2018, I didn’t really like to pray and I told my mother about that.Thank God for my mother, because she told Beli about it. So Beli has always been asking me to pray during cell and share during cell and now I really see the improvement. (now i take initiative to pray and to share!) For devo too, I always do 2 to 3 days late.I dont really like to do devos but Beli always asks me, if I had done my devo. That made me guilty so I did it. But, I’ve noticed that it really help me spiritually.

I am very grateful for Beli for being my cell leader. And I also want to thank all my other leaders, Ben, Eli, Faithe, Serene, Angie, Chloe, Keith, Ave and Jade for supporting and taking care of all of us. I really appreciate your hard work.

Leah (Chozone)

I am thankful for Ave. I have known her since 2015, when we met at church camp and she brought my friend and I around. Although we were very fussy with her, she still continued and continues to be a shining light by checking up on me, guiding me through tough times and always being there for me as well as not judging me.

I am also thankful for Beiying. As a photographer from VAM, Beiying has been a great leader! She has taught me so much from positioning to camera settings. She comes from a position of friendship instead of a superior which is one of the key points of leadership, she inspires me to be the best photographer, that I can be.

Evan (Jarrold Zone)

I’m here to share my testimony on how we should always be faithful and trust God in reaching out to our friends. As yall know, during GOP camp last year, my friend Dhilan got saved so really PTL! I have been reaching out to Dhilan for a really long time- since sec1. Whenever I talked to him about church in the past, he would always be very uninterested and always try to change the subject. Sometimes he would get really mad if I kept asking him if he wanted to come for our parties in church. This lasted till the end of sec 1. In sec 2 at the start of the year, I felt God telling me that in that year, He was going to save a very good friend of mine. When I heard that, I was really excited because I looked at all the friends whom I've been reaching out to in sec 1 and they were quite responsive. So at the start of sec 2, I was reaching out to all these other people but they all started saying no which is like the complete opposite of last year. So during the June holidays, I got to think about what God said a bit more and at that time, I was very confused and disappointed because i thought those people I reached out to in sec 1 who were responsive were going to be more responsive by coming to church for service and not just parties. I told this to OT and he encouraged me to continue to be faithful and trust in what God has told me at the start of the year. So I started thinking of the list of people that I had tried to invite in sec 1 but didn’t come and I thought of Dhilans name. And I didn’t speak to Dhilan about church or Christianity for half a year because I didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable. But I was reminded that i have already planted the seed in Dhilan and I felt that God wanted me to talk to Dhilan again about church and inviting him to outings. after the June holidays, i started to be more intentional in showing Dhilan God's love by like blessing him with a free drink or helping him more in his weaker subjects. So when we had VS cell on a Thursday, I asked Dhilan if he wanted to come and see what was going on. I already prepared myself for the rejection and was going to say “Nevermind then" but praise the lord because he said he wanted to come. During that cell he was really quiet, but I knew that God was beginning to let the seed I planted to grow. I started praying and doing fasts for God to continue speaking to my friend and to really touch my friends heart. So when we had our guys ministry outing to Sentosa, I invited him and my other friend who isn’t christian to come along because he was scared it would be awkward. At the end of the day, i was really encouraged because He said that he had a lot of fun and that we were very warm and welcoming. So I knew God was really doing something in his heart and I began to be really excited.

So finally it was GOP camp and I felt God ask me to invite Dhilan again, and again Dhilan said yes! But he could come only on the last 2 days but in my heart I thought at least he's coming for ps mark's service haha. And true enough, during Pastor Mark's service, he was asking me a lot of questions and I was happy about that because he doesnt usually ask me abt anything I tell him about Christianity. When Pastor Mark gave an alter call, I responded and I was so shocked because I saw Dhilan responding as well and he was kneeling down. At that moment, I felt God tell me to ask him if he wanted to say the sinner's prayer and he said yes immediately. So i brought him to Junwei and after he explained what it means to say the sinner's prayer, Dhilan still said yes. Until now, I’m still really amazed of how Dhilan got saved! I also really want to thank you guys for being so warm and loving to him that I know played a part in him being saved. He even posted about us on his Instagram which is like sooo shocking for me. He said," Hey guys I just want this post to be about how grateful and blessed i am to have been able to be with u guys.. like thanks soo much for welcoming me into the family and everything..u guys are already like my second family :heart: Also um special thanks to Evan for inviting me haha.. it really impacted me so much:heart::heart:"

No words can describe really how I felt about Dhilan's salvation. Like how He can use me to change someone's life and how he can really speak to people and touch their lives. I would like to encourage everyone that has been reaching out to their friends for a long time or even if you've just started to never give up. Even if you don’t know if whatever you said or did impacted your friends, remember this “For we live by faith, not by sight.”, 2 corinthians 5:&7. Trust in God and continue to be faithful to Him and be the Jesus to His people. I want to end of with a verse that I hope will encourage you, just like how it encouraged me.

I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing the growth. So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but God who causes the growth. 8 Now he who plants and he who waters are one; but each will receive his own reward according to his own labor

- 1 Corinthians 3:6-8 (NASB)

Andrew

I want to honour and thank Kat, my cell leader, cause she has really been there for every step of the way. During Ascension, she really did her best as an IC and I'm really proud and thankful that she really gave her all and I'm really inspired by her testimony about her family and struggles. Seeing her praising and worshiping God despite the problems she faces, really ignited the fire inside me to also give God my all despite my issues. She is one of the best Cell Leaders I could ask for, she is super caring, kind, loving and funny. She would never fail to pray for us or be there for us. Thanks Kat for being there for me!!!!

Kym

I would like to thank Terryin, like even as a zone leader she really cares for everyone a lot and make sure everyone’s okay. I was talking to her about other things and she just checked on me and asked me how’s my first day of sch and I told her about it and I’ll just say it was really bad, I didn’t like it at all. but she was willing to talk to me about it at 1am+ and made sure I was feeling okay and everything. She even recorded her prayer for me and it honestly helped me a lot so thank you Terryin!

#service thanksgiving testimonies

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surveys-at-your-service · 6 years ago

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Survey #177

“i get pretty just to fuck my face up.”

What’s your favorite flavor of ice pop? Strawberry or watermelon. Do you like animal print? What’s your favorite print? Not particularly, but I suppose jaguar. What do you think of foot tattoos? Surprisingly, not a big fan. It's gotta be cute, well-placed, and small. Did your senior class in high school have a class trip? Where did you go? Maybe? I don't remember. What do you normally order at Dunkin Donuts? Chocolate frosted. What do you drink with dinner? It varies. Can be soda, water, milk... Peanuts or sunflower seeds? I don't like either. What is your favorite grocery store to shop at, and how often do you shop for groceries? Sam's Club totally has the best deals, but I don't make the shopping calls here. Who is your favorite character from the last movie you watched? Uhhh the super paranoid lady whose actress is a legend. Where did you have your first kiss? What about your last kiss? His bed; airport. What is the last thing you spoke to your father about? Phone bill. Who do you feel you have the most in common with? Sara. Who in your life causes you the most stress or negative feelings? Myself. Have you ever apologized to someone, but didn’t mean it? I'm sure at some point. What is the one thing that you can’t resist? Reese's, I sometimes cannooooot tell myself no to a Mtn. Dew Voltage, wanting to pet an animal even if it's dangerous, and uhhh I'm sure there's more. Have you ever done another person's homework for money? No. If you could play any piece of music on an instrument, what would it be? Teach me the ending piece from WKM on the piano so I could ruin myself further than just listening to it already does. Have you ever treated someone like they were nothing? I don't believe so. If you could ask 5 questions and get an exact answer, what would you ask? Oh yikes, deep one. Um... 1.) what is the cure for cancer, 2.) cure for Alzheimer's/dementia, 3.) cure for HIV/AIDS, 4.) how can/is it even possible to obtain world peace, and 5.) will I be stable in the future are what come to mind first. Does it frighten you when animals get into fights? I GET VERY SCARED FOR THE ANIMALS. When you were little did you touch just about everything in the store? YUP YUP YUP. Do you ever leave your drinks out in the open at a party? N/A, but I absolutely would not. Ever suffered from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder? Yes. Who is someone you’ll always hate? No one I personally know. How many people do you trust 100 percent? Just one. I would include Mom, but I know she lies about Dad. Do you think you could survive a month of solitary confinement? NO, I really think I'd lose it and kill myself. Do you often start books, yet never finish them? I don't read, but I'd do that if I didn't like it. When was the last time you felt abandoned by someone? Idr. Does the sight of blood gross you out? No. Have you ever gone through a red light? No. Do you fail to stop for stop signs, sometimes? No. What is your favorite eye color in the opposite sex? Blue. When you are sad, do you cheer yourself up, or look to others? It depends, but I usually begin with the former. During which year of your life were you the most unhappy? 2016 can been damned by God themselves. Have you ever seen a bluejay in person? Yes. Have you ever eaten grass/leaves? Probably as a kid. Do you typically like green-colored candies? Yeah! Apple flavor is the bomb.com. Who is the most energetic and happy person you know of? Ryder, my nephew. Who makes you smile the most often? Sara Jane. :') How do you express your happiness? I'm louder, more talkative, goofier. When was the last time you did a good deed? Uhhh idk. It's a tiny thing, but I suppose you could count me getting my old man bub with arthritis up on the bed when he wanted up. What songs make you happy? Lots... Do you like to sing? Sometimes, but I'm not good at it. Where is somewhere that holds fond memories for you? Ummm the little pond behind the community college where we took our first prom photos. That whole day was just extremely magical, and passing it is a severe PTSD trigger so if for whatever reason we're driving past there, Mom goes around it. I did pass it a few months back when I was taking pictures of flowers around the college and I was okay, probably because I didn't even glance at it. What do you think of the gothic stereotype? # A E S T H E T I C Have you ever encountered a black widow? Yup. What scares you, more than anything else? Ending up alone/losing all those I love. Has an animal ever peed on you? Lol yeah... Pet rodents have multiple times when getting them accustomed to being held, a puppy probably has, and Venus (my snake) did once after I held her for like an hour, aha. Couldn't be mad at that angel, she was obviously so comfy. What would make a cool substitute color for the sun? Pink. Is purple a good color for a car? Sure. Do you prefer green or purple/red grapes? Purple; crisper. What is something you like that is sour? Warheads. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some hot wings at BWW with one of the hottest sauces. When was the last time you had a real deep chat? Idk, I'm sure something with Sara. Who did you last see on webcam? I've no idea. Have you ever discovered something gross in your food at McDonalds? No. What’s your favorite flavor of Ramen? I only like the spicy chicken Yakisoba ones. Have you ever spent the night in jail? No. Name a really popular television show you never got into: Ha, a lot. Game of Thrones, for one, but I'd be willing to give it a second chance via more episodes and a different attitude and actually kinda want to. Sara, add that to our list. Do you listen to any unsigned bands/singers? Who? No, I don't believe so. I need to start listening to my old friend's band, though, because I really want to support them; they work so hard and are very serious about taking their band somewhere. Nova Mortis if you're interested and like heavy metal. What do you find really interesting? THE PARANORMAL, for one. Genetics, psychology, fossils, abandoned buildings and shacks, natural selection and evolution, outer space, differences in languages and cultures, and so much more. Who is your favorite video game character? Spyro! What kind of pictures do you post on Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat most frequently? I like never post pictures, but selfies on FB, then I have two photography Instagrams. Do you remember the first person you felt sexually attracted to? Seriously, Jason. Have you ever been on vacation with a significant other? No. Is there anything on your bucket list that you’re hoping to cross off soon? A lot of things, but. Probably won't be soon as many include travel. Of all of your friends’ significant others, who do you get along with best? And least? Sam's wife Kieley is an absolute doll; least, idk. What would your life be like if you had married your first love? HAHAHAHAHA I REEEEEAAAAALLY DON'T WANT TO PICTURE THAT KNOWING NOW HE DIDN'T/DOESN'T BELIEVE IN ME AND CAN'T COMMUNICATE FOR SHIT. What is the most difficult or time-consuming thing you’ve ever cooked? Would you make it again? N/A Have you ever had a platonic friend that everyone insisted you should be in a relationship with? Girt, hardcore. Eventually did, but we know how that went. Is there anything about a person’s sexual past that might stop you from wanting to date them? Yup: if they've assaulted someone, prostitution is involved, casual flings/one-night stands have happened, being/have been a porn star, cheated before. If someone asked your closest friends/family members what career path might suit you best, what do you think they would say? Like, everyone will answer that question with "vet." Have you ever considered “unplugging”/taking a significant period of time away from technology? lol nope I doubt I'd last a day with no technology. Do you use a photo editor? Lightroom, Photoshop, sometimes PhotoScape. Is your dad overweight? Quite the opposite. Ever been honked at? Yeah. Which do you prefer, doctor or dentist? Dentist; I'm never nervous for them. Name two things you put whipped cream on? I haaaate whipped cream. Texture thing. Favorite thing you’ve ever painted? Two meerkats grooming, done on a huge thing of burlap. What’s your favorite type of sushi? Never tried, never will. Have you ever had an ulcer? No. What’s the name of the most recent baby a friend has had? Scarlett. Have you ever taken medication to help you fall asleep faster? Yup. I had a long insomnia streak where I physically couldn't sleep without Melatonin. What is your current favorite song? I'm hooked on "The Bottom is a Rock" by Mother Mother rn. If you had to move to another country, where would you move? Canada. Do you have a balcony? No. Are you jealous of anyone, even mildly? If so, who? Yeah, my sisters, as well as some real successful friends. Have you ever done a craft you saw in a magazine? No. Have you ever made a recipe you found in a magazine? No. Who is a singer that has given you chills? Celine Dion, Loreena McKennitt, Sebastian Bach, David Draiman, and Amy Lee off the top of my head. What act would you perform in a talent show? I wouldn't, I got nothin'. What area are you the most gifted in, do you think? Um... writing, I guess? Which style of wedding dress is your favorite? BALLGOWN BITCH Do you enjoy editing videos? Ye! Do you enjoy editing photos? Yup. Who do you think is the most attractive actor? I see u Jason Momoa. Have you ever been caught doing something REAL embarrassing by your parents? I don't believe so. Do you believe in reincarnation? No. Do you have any of your neighbors as friends on Facebook? No. When was the last time you thought about sex, or sexual things? Ummm within the past few days probably, at least briefly? Are there any flowers planted outside your house? We have a tall bush that sprouts big, pink flowers, if that counts. Does anyone in your family smoke? Dad. What was the very first election you voted in? I haven't yet. Do you have a drone? No. Are you the type that’s too ashamed to ask for or use directions? No, rather too shy. Were you tired when you woke up this morning? YEAH. I slept like shit and had to get up early for a VR assessment. You overhear two people gossiping about you; what do you do? I feel like I'd say something sarcastic to them. Or be more mature about it and ask why. Or cry. Are you proud of who you are? Eh, only in certain areas... Is your vision good? I can barely read the line below the big "E." So no lmao. Are you a legal adult? Yeah but idk how. Has anyone ever called you a flirt? No. What was the last compliment your received? The assessment lady at VR loved my hair. Do you know any sign language? No. Who was the last person to give you a gift? Sara, on our anniversary. Do you trust the media? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA BITCH NO. If you could kill off one species of animal, which would it be? Can gnats like????? not???????? Idk if they have a single useful function????????? What kind of cookies are your favorite? Chocolate chip. Who’d you last say I love you to? My mom. What’s the most overpaid job in your opinion? I'm not educated on this enough to give you an informed answer. What’s the last thing you wrote down? Working out a math problem during the assessment. When’s the last time you didn’t sleep in your own bed? Over a month ago. When’s the last time you heard a gunshot? Idk. Who’d you get mad at last? Myself. What’s the last thing that annoyed you? Bentley wouldn't listen. When’s the last time you gave someone advice? I think yesterday? Do you think you’re lucky, unlucky, or neither? Neither. Who did you last disappoint? Myself. Do you enjoy learning? Of course!!!! I mean there're subjects I have no interest in and don't enjoy, but learning as a whole is great. People say you learn something new every day, so what did you learn today? Well it was nothing big, but that I could return Miku before she got hurt since Mitsu didn't appreciate a new "buddy." Yes or no: eyebrow piercings? They can look super badass or awful depending on your face and eyebrow thickness imo. When I say The Beatles, what is the first song that comes to mind? "Yellow Submarine" even tho I hate that song???? In your opinion, what is the very worst type of weather? Hot and humid, especially with no breeze. Just no. You can only listen to 1 band for the rest of your life, who do you pick? DON'T MAKE ME. What is something that you had to learn the hard way? DON'T. THINK. A RELATIONSHIP. IS WITHOUT A SINGLE CHANCE. OF. SOMEONE. LEAVING. EVEN. IN THE MOST "SECURE" ONES. When was the last time you felt like your heart was actually breaking? Ahhhh I'm not sure. Either something with Mom or Sara. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Mom. If your ex called you right now, would you answer? I don't have his number, so I wouldn't answer. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Sara. Do you want your tongue pierced? It is. 10/10 recommend for cute factor, but 0/10 for the healing process and pain asjfawiwo. Mine's through the very tip of my tongue and because that area is so sensitive, it was so painful that I became immediately nauseous. Pain didn't entirely vanish for almost two weeks. BUT I have zero regrets, so worth it. Is there something that happened in your past you hate talking about? Yeah. What’s one thing in your life that you wish you could change? Financial position. Have you ever been in a perfect relationship? Ha, don't ever believe those exist. Do you still talk to the person who broke your heart the most? Nope. Have you ever done something sexual that you regret? Ummm I don't believe so. Well, I don't know if I'd take back going all the way or whatever the fuck that was, maybe I would. idk Ever had a person who was obsessed with you so much that it scared you? No. Can you drive, and if you can, do you like it? I'm capable, but I don't enjoy it at all. Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret? Yeah, being in a shit mood and/or being impulsive with my words. Do you like french fries? Who the FUCK sayin no to this. Have you ever ate so much you puked? No. Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance? To some degree/in certain aspects. Would you rather eat cookies or brownies? Probs brownies. Have you ever played a drinking game? Which ones? No. Are you good with managing your finances? I don't. Not in that position yet. What is the closest pizza place to your house? Domino's. Do you have any silly nicknames or pet names? Hmmmm no. Are you any good at drawing? Some things. Is there anything unusual about your house? No. Can you maintain a text conversation or do you run out of things to say? I think I'm good at keeping *text* convos going, surprisingly. Do you find it hard to talk to strangers, even people who work in stores? YEAH!!!!!!! Have you ever tasted goat’s milk? No. Did you ever take classes for a musical instrument when you were younger? Yup. Band member all through middle school, stopped after my junior year of HS. Do you snore when you sleep? No, but I talk a loooot. Who is the first person who broke your heart? Dad. Do you know anyone who has fought in a war? Jason's dad was in the Navy. What religion are you? Theist, which basically just entails me believing there's a god/goddess/some sorta beginning deity, but hell if I know anything about them. I make my own guesses. Who is the last person you gave a ride to, and where did you take them? I don't have a license or my own car. What is the last thing you untruthfully denied? Hm. I'm not sure. Have you ever ridden on a real train? No. Name ONE good memory about your last ex? He's absolutely hilarious and I miss hanging out more! Would you consider yourself dishonest? Not gonna bullshit and claim I never am, but in general, no. Do you tend to let people break through your walls easily? HAHA YEAH RIGHT. What are you superstitious about? Nothing. What is the coolest thing you can do? Oh boy, hell if I know. I know from experience people are often surprised how even skittish animals/pets seem to be drawn to me; does that count? Is there anyone you want to hook up with that you haven’t? Not my thing.

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