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mcalhenwrites · 8 months ago

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If the fathers from some of your stories (Vivian, Humphrey and Willie) were to meet each other what would happen. Just stuck in a room together. Would they get agree or disagree with each other (about their families or whatever topic you think they’d talk about) Think one’s style of parenting is better than the other?

Oooh, this is such an intriguing situation to pose to me, thank you!

The answer for this is incredibly lengthy, because I imagined several topics they might address, parenting included.

These three also have similar technology, although it has progressed further in SGH/Rascal’s steampunk world, so Vivian will only be a little behind. I will assume they’re all generally meeting when they’re the ages they are in their stories, since Humphrey and Willie exist in the same world, and Willie is older in Rascal than Humphrey is in SGH, but he’s young enough to be his son in their timeline. So they’re going to be early-in-the-story ages for this little experiment. ;)

Not sure what would trap them. Maybe an elevator ride, because otherwise Vivian would be the first to find a door and go through it.

Anyway, let’s start~

I know Willie would bring up cars, and Humphrey would nod along and hum in agreement with a few points, while Vivian would be baffled by Willie’s eccentricity. He’d politely decline to participate in the conversation and sit far away by himself, I bet, but Willie… Well, he’s not one to be ignored.

Willie is the conversation-starter, the lead of said conversations. He’d ask most of the first questions. He’d brag, which both of the other men would find tactless, but they’re both initially too polite to call him out on it. It doesn’t hurt that he has some charisma, he’s chatty, and he’s an extrovert. Friends aren’t hard to make when you’re Willie the Rascal, which is why this is an awful situation for Vivian.

Humphrey is generally a polite man who can speak when he needs to speak, and he’s good at responding. It’s good for his business—people don’t want to bury their loved ones while dealing with someone who shows no compassion or sensibilities. That doesn’t mean Humphrey’s less introverted, though. And he makes a fine mortician, since the cadavers don’t require much conversation.

(For the record, he does chat with them. He’s actually warm and caring in a lot of ways, he’s just also a product of his upbringing, which is why his parenting sucks but is exactly how he was parented.)

Humphrey’s temper is still terrible, but almost all of his temper is related to job stress and children not obeying as he demands. Other people don’t usually see that angry side. If they did, they’d say “children should be seen and not heard” or “children must obey their parents” or some shit like that.

Willie doesn’t have much of a temper except when he’s humiliated.

And Vivian’s temper is downright dangerous.

Willie would assume that since he’s in a room with two men, surely they must love cars!

Willie: “Yes, I actually happen to make parts for cars. I drive an Odelli, and my company provides some of the parts that make those lovely automobiles. Otis Odelli is actually a dear friend of mine. Do either of you have cars?”

Humphrey: “I do, but it’s in poor condition. I’m afraid it’s rather old and beaten and not always reliable, but I can’t afford anything fancy. I’m just grateful to have one.”

Vivian would not answer, Willie would push.

Willie: “And what about you, Mr. Liddell? Do you drive an automobile?”

Vivian: “I have one.”

Willie: “Oh, what kind? You should both try to get an Odelli—and don’t worry, I could even get Otis to give you a discount.”

(At this point, Humphrey just nods along with a smile because he’s not about to start something over cars, and Vivian is already annoyed but holds it in.)

Willie: “I bought both my children Odellis. My daughter uses hers all the time, but my son thinks he still needs to ride a bike around town. I don’t get it.”

Vivian: “Isn’t that quite practical? Car maintenance is expensive. I only use mine in extreme circumstances, but it’s far too hot in summer to drive it.”

Willie: “Why not get a model with a hood that lowers? Why, I know just the model you could buy!”

So it goes, and eventually, Vivian would mention cars are only convenient for driving his children around to appointments and whatnot. Otherwise, he walks.

Humphrey and Vivian then find out they both have three children, because Vivian lies. Willie, of course, only has the two—“A shame, really, I’m such a doting daddy!”—but they’re both sharp kids! “My son doesn’t always know what’s good for him, though.”

Willie may not like being humiliated by Hazel, but he has no issues being the one who humiliates Hazel. (Even then, he’ll still play up how much of a great daddy he is.)

Humphrey would say his wife only agreed to the three children they have, and he would have gladly had more if she’d been keen on the idea. But she’s the one who has to carry them, and he’s grateful to her for going through three pregnancies. He imagines it can’t be easy.

Willie will lose a lot of respect points with Humphrey when he laughs and says, “Well, isn’t that what a woman’s body is made for?”

Misogynistic asshole. :)

Willie: “Oh, but Edith Anne is happy with the two she has, and she’s a fantastic mother.”

(Humphrey immediately worries for Edith Anne, since he now imagines her being quiet and meek with her overbearing sexist husband, but he bites his tongue. Willie also doesn’t disclose that he’s a womanizing piece of shit who has countless affairs with mostly younger women, and if he had, I think both Humphrey and Vivian would devour him.)

Humphrey does express some disappointment in his youngest son, but admits he might not understand Ambrose very well. As for Eugene and Christine, they’re good kids, reasonably mischievous when younger, but they’ve grown up to be fine young people. He hopes Ambrose will get there too.

This is never addressed in SGH, so this isn’t exactly a spoiler, but Humphrey was the middle child of three: an older sister, a younger brother. The youngest brother had a tendency to be like Ambrose. He daydreamed often, he was sensitive, etc. Both Humphrey’s siblings died when the pandemic hit. Humphrey used to cover for his brother a lot to keep him out of trouble. He wonders if that was best, since his brother only seemed to upset the adults even more.

Vivian doesn’t say much, but he does mention he has three boys. (Early Seasons, so he doesn’t know about Bee.)

Willie is immediately impressed—“Three boys! You must have your hands full with those scamps!”

Vivian expresses that his oldest child is quite the opposite of a scamp, though his youngest can be one, and he doesn’t “know what to do with” his middle son.

Humphrey nods, because Eugene is the reliable oldest child, but he has similar troubles with Ambrose that Viv has with Howie. (Or so Humphrey thinks.)

Willie chimes in with his own agreement, because Opal is his brilliant little girl, even if she’s a woman expecting her own child—“a grandson!”—and she’s going to take over his business. Maybe even build it up and make his company better than ever.

Then Willie raves about Opal for a while. Talks about how clever she was as a little girl, how she got rid of her toys at a young age and took to mechanics right away. Helped him with his cars. She makes strange jokes, and he can’t always tell if she’s kidding, but—“She’s a riot, really!”

(This all reminds Vivian of Sophie, which makes him bitter. He misses his little girl, even if she could be ill-tempered. But he can’t say this, he left out his two older children.)

Willie: “I wish Hazel had been as easy to raise as Opal. That one is in his mid-twenties, and he’s still a bit of a rascal. I guess we all are—it’s a family thing. Our last name is Raston, and it’s been a public nickname for us. We’re the Raston Rascals.”

This is how they reach the topic of parenting. Because Willie tells one of his favorite stories about Hazel. The one where Hazel wandered off in a park on vacation when he was six, had the whole park searching, and when he turned up acting as if he hadn’t done a thing wrong (he followed a mama duck and her ducklings and forgot to stick with his parents), Willie spanked him on a park bench in front of everyone. It even made the newspapers.

Willie: “I can count on one hand how many times I spanked that boy! I wish I’d done it a bit more often. Never had to do more than reprimand Opal—and barely that—but I wish I’d been strict with Hazel. You’ve got to be tough with boys.”

Humphrey then agrees some children need a good spanking, and all three of his kids knew what to expect if they get into significant trouble or act disrespectful. (And still know, in Ambrose’s case.)

Vivian doesn’t engage in the conversation, although he secretly thinks Willie sounds far too soft, and he imagines Hazel is a terrible spoiled brat who doesn’t work. He has dealt with spoiled rich people as clients and has a special hatred for them.

Now, Vivian isn’t going to detail how he punishes his children, but even Humphrey would consider him abusive. Fucking. Humphrey. (Willie would too, given that he’s the most lenient parent in the room, and he spent half of Opal and Hazel’s childhoods talking his wife and the nurses out of punishing them. “Oh, they’re just babies having a little fun!” He’s mostly pissed at Hazel, but if he went back in time, he probably wouldn’t have the heart to go through with his threats of being tougher on Hazel.)

Humphrey doesn’t know the children in question, so he doesn’t have any opinions on Opal and Hazel, and given Willie’s personality so far… Well, he’s not sure he believes Hazel is all that bad or that Opal is all that perfect. (She is, Humphrey. She is. I will not hear a word against Opal.)

Then it comes out in one of Willie’s talkative rants that his primary reason for being angry at Hazel is that he’s a “shafter” who “runs around with a man on his arm!”

Vivian doesn’t bite his tongue this time. Humans may have certain weird societal rules they follow compared to spirits, but they’re as queer as anyone, and no one has ever considered it odd. The only reason he ever called Graham his brother-in-law was to cover up that he birthed Shannon, and he panicked on how to explain to others how he became a father. He could have just said that they both lost their wife in childbirth in a polyamorous relationship.

Vivian: “I raise my children with my husband. Do you find that offensive?”

(They would if they knew how you were raising them, and they’re both pretty shitty fathers, Viv!)

Willie balks. He wasn’t expecting that. Then he blurts something stupid because he’s in shock, but also he’s been secretly bothered by it since he saw Vivian.

Willie: “Well, you’re pretty enough to be a woman. It must confuse some men, your husband included.”

Vivian is pissed enough to retort, “By those standards, aren’t you too short to be a man?”

And the conversation is mostly killed. Willie’s mustache twitches as he huffs to his own little corner of their hopefully-large-enough-not-to-kill-one-another elevator, but he’s surprised and dismayed that Humphrey doesn’t join his side.

Humphrey eventually shuffles over to Vivian and says softly, “My sister dated women, and I think my oldest son is attracted to men, but he’s marrying a girl so I could be wrong.”

Just to let him know he’s not judging Vivian for being gay.

I don’t know how it would eventually be brought up, but Vivian and Humphrey have one thing in common: they are terrified of their loved ones getting sick and dying.

Vivian doesn’t want anyone to leave him, doesn’t want things to change, and has nearly watched a child wither away. He has seen people and animals die, and he knows he’ll live on, because so little poses a fatal threat to him. The unknown ailments of a season make that strange territory to wander into, so he takes no chances, but Graham? Graham is fragile, like Gideon, and could die someday.

Humphrey lost everyone he loved to an illness that ravaged his home city while he was staying in the dormitory at his university. All his family and any friends he had outside of university died while he was far away. He dropped out and spent the rest of his life trying to keep his family’s mortuary in business. Trying to afford to keep every acre of his family’s home.

Doesn’t help that he’s a mortician. He sees death every day. That cannot be healthy, always having that reminder.

I don’t think Willie can relate to that. Death is terrifying, but it doesn’t cross his mind much. He has lost friends and his father died a few years before Rascal starts (though they had a difficult relationship), but he’s also insulated. Illness? He can afford the best doctors and luxurious vacation homes in the countryside to keep quarantined at. He did care that the children got fevers sometimes when they were little, and he fussed over them, but he never worried they’d die, because he has access to the most modern medicine out of the three men trapped in this room together.

(I have no idea how they’re trapped.)

Willie would probably find out Humphrey’s a mortician and say something like, “Oh, that’s a grim line of work, but someone has got to do it!” And smile.

Vivian would be glad he looks at numbers all day, not at bodies, and say nothing. He thinks Willie’s job sounds disgusting, though he doesn’t know why he hates it so much. (It’s the Cosmos in you, Viv. It hates pollution. Willie’s factories are everything spirits hate and fear.)

Both Humphrey and Willie would respect Vivian’s occupation. They both have accountants, although Humphrey is married to his, and this is the one time he’d brag—that he’s got the best wife, since she takes care of all the numbers for him.

I fear that might be their most civil conversation: Vivian’s career.

Now, I wonder what would happen if you put all ten of their children in a room together. Just how much trauma have these three men caused? :’)

I think if these fathers had to listen in—with no way to retaliate because it would be post-orchard, post-airship, post-Stargazers’ Hill tragedy—they’d probably go from disliking one another to hating each other. Humphrey would be the most ashamed of himself. Vivian and Willie would try to blame anyone but themselves at first and for a long while, which is exactly what they did in their stories.

#I got carried away #but I had so much fun with this #I was so delighted about this ask I bombarded my roommate with my glee :')

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magentagalaxies · 2 years ago

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Jessamine Accidentally Writes An Essay About Two Conversations Ze's Totally Normal About

one of my beloved mutuals (@souplover13) is reblogging a lot of queerpunk posts tonight which just reminded me of two conversations i want to document. yes this story involves paul bellini why wouldn't it (fr tho i was considering not making this a post bc i was like oh god do people really want to hear me ramble about these 63-year-old gay dudes again maybe i should give it a rest but whatever it's my blog and if people don't like it why are they even following me this is all we do here)

anyway the story actually begins with a conversation i had with my parents earlier today. now, i'm lucky enough to have parents that are constantly trying their best to be good allys and are always learning to do better. they're not perfect, but they want to learn. while at lunch today my dad took a picture of me and my mom together since i won't be home again for a few months and he affectionately said "my girls." i've been out to my parents as nonbinary for around a year, but i let it slide since my gender wasn't the most important part of that sentiment, more the fact that it was a nice family moment.

a beat later my mom corrects "girl and person," and while i am grateful for her seeing that i'm not a girl, this type of correction always makes me feel more awkward than being misgendered. like, the point of my dad calling me "his girl" was this tone of familial affection, but the word "person" just feels cold and distant, which is something i struggle with in a lot of gender neutral language. but beyond that, it's just this weird separation. i jokingly correct my mom again, saying "hey, we're both people."

the conversation continues and eventually my mom asks if it bothers me when people call me "girl" like that. and the truth is: i don't know. it bothers me a little, but the forced neutrality bothers me more, and honestly i don't really care what gendered language someone uses for me as long as they mean it in a way that shows me they care. like, i'd rather be called girl affectionately than be called "genderqueer nonbinary person with a strained relationship to androgyny who uses ze/zir pronouns and feels represented by the word transfeminine" in a derogatory way. I respond "it's contextual," but that's not a satisfactory answer. the conversation moves on to a nonbinary person who stops by my mom's work often and how my mom's had to correct some of the older employees to stop calling them a girl, since times are changing.

the second conversation is from a few weeks ago when i first visited canada to help with the mouth congress concert and got to have lunch with paul bellini beforehand. at one point the conversation developed into paul asking me what being "nonbinary" means for me personally. it was clear he wasn't intimately familiar with the concept (though to his credit he did have more experience with it than i expected), and some of his assumptions were inaccurate to my experience, but he listened intently as i described my experience not knowing how to specifically label my gender but just knowing i don't want to be seen as a cis woman while also having no desire to be fully male. he related it to his own experience as a gay man with his own complex relationship to masculinity and femininity, acknowledging it's not the exact same, and by the end of our conversation i truly felt like he respected my unique relationship to gender even if there were certain parts he still needed to process.

but most importantly, it was funny. granted our conversation was a unique case since both individuals were queer comedians from different generations, but approaching the strange concept of gender identity with humor made it so much more comfortable. paul described being a little feminine gay kid and thinking "i'm not a boy or a girl, i'm a god" and i responded that's it exactly. i brought up the mouth congress song she-male: master of the universe, saying the vision of a vengeful genderqueer space goddess is the most represented i've felt by a piece of media, only half joking. but also there were times when i made jokes about failing at gender (e.g. referencing a group of "girls" at my high school who made me realize i'm nonbinary since i always felt weird for being the least feminine person when we hung out, and then the fact that several of them came out as transmasc after graduation meaning now they can be better than me at being trans as well) and while paul acknowledged the joke he also assured me i was exactly where i needed to be in terms of my gender presentation, and honestly i'm kind of tearing up just thinking about it.

paul never asked me for my pronouns, but to be fair i did somewhat volunteer them in the form of a joke: "i use any pronouns, but i will silently judge you based on what you do with that information." that line got a laugh.

I told the same line to my parents after our "girl" conversation today, earning only confusion, and it made me realize something: so much of modern trans allyship centers entirely around language, be it pronouns or recognizing the lack of neutrality in our everyday speech. and while these things are certainly important, that's not understanding. cishet allys so often want to be able to say the right thing, so they approach the subject as learning the rules for how to incorporate this new approach to gender into their lexicon. i think there's something to be said for how this parallels how we're often taught about cis gender roles: these are the rules you follow to be a man or woman. when you find out someone doesn't fit neatly into those boxes, it's natural to ask "okay, what are your rules?" this also leads to some cis people (even gay cis people) complaining about how "you can't say anything these days" since it's portrayed as just another set of rules you need to learn.

but honestly, i don't know what my gender rules should be. my approach to gender lately has been the equivalent of "idk dude i just work here," i don't know where i specifically fit in but i do know how i feel inside. the answer "it's contextual" doesn't give you the cheat codes to gendering me correctly, because even i don't know how to gender myself correctly half the time. however, more importantly imo it gives you a window into how it feels to be me, a nonbinary person with complicated relationships to every facet of gender who's decided to stop expecting language to fully represent me but still has to deal with language being applied to me all the time. my nonbinary gender is confusing as hell, and i'm tired of having to pretend it's not as if that's the only way it's worthy of respect. every gender (including cis genders) is confusing as hell, and it's only when we all accept this fact that we can actually make a meaningful connection.

as my parents and i were driving away from the restaurant my only thought was i wonder how my dad would've referred to that photo if it was my brother and my mom in the picture. would he have said "girl and boy?" or "girl and person?" or would he have simply said "family"

#soup i tagged you bc i feel like you'd be interested in this #tbh i didn't plan on this being as long as it is but whatever i clearly needed to process something #tbh i'm kind of rolling my eyes at myself like ''ah great another paul bellini post'' but like #having an older queer comedian mentor actually really means a lot to me and i think i'm allowed to celebrate that #also honestly didn't realize how much the genuinely compassionate response to my high school joke actually meant to me until this moment???#like in the moment i was like ''no that was a joke isn't it funny the same group of people made me feel inadequate in multiple genders''#but now i'm like wait. oh. i've been holding onto that idea that i'm not good enough. insert crying cat meme #also shoutout to another anecdote from that paul conversation:#apparently he has a younger cousin who's a trans girl and he brought scott with him to visit them for christmas this year #and he said ''that cousin and scott ended up having one of those conversations where everyone around them is on edge bc any second someone #could say the wrong thing. it was awesome'' and like unironically i agree???#like yeah having someone say something accidentally transphobic is shitty but one thing i enjoy about scott it he's not a performative ally #if he doesn't get something he will say it. and tbh at this point i've been around enough people who know all the language #but don't really get it or worse think the opposite #that watching someone like that is honestly refreshing

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firstumcschenectady · 1 year ago

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“Yearning for Joy” based on Micah 6:6-8 and Luke 1:67-80

I was in a “non-violent communication” workshop one time, which is a place that teaches about human emotions and how to have them without judging yourself for them. So, we're in this workshop and someone takes the MOST obvious of teaching moments, something that would almost make you groan except that in this case, I didn't KNOW the thing she was teaching so I was grateful that she made it so obvious.

We'd just come back from lunch and we were asked how we were doing, with the request that we respond with how we were feeling. It was practice with using feeling words. The co-teacher responded, “I'm feeling torn. I'm excited to be teaching this group, and at the same time I'm concerned about the two students who aren't back yet.” There I was, in my 30s, and I'd just learned that it was VALID to hold MORE THAN ONE EMOTION at the same time. Which was helpful, because I'd done that plenty, but somehow I hadn't known it was OK.

(This is why I often share really simple stuff about emotions with the rest of you – it was late in life learning for me and its been really significant. I dearly hope most of you already knew this, but when I look around at our society, I'm not sure who would have taught you.)

So I learned that when I take my feelings seriously, both on their own, and as flags pointing me to things I care about and value, I am allowed to feel more than one emotion – even seemingly contradictory ones. This knowledge has been very helpful for me, particularly in moments in my life when my life and the world as a whole were doing really differently. Like when Trump was elected and there was fear of what his presidency would look like – and I was newly in love and wedding planning at the same time. Or when there was a global pandemic and the country was locked down and everything was hard and confusing and – oh – I finally got to become a parent.

Which is all a long introduction to say: this is Joy Sunday, and heavens that can be confusing in the midst of sadness, anger, fear, and exhaustion. There seem to be plenty of reasons to skip joy – grief and heartache, violence and injustice for example.

And yet, none of that negates joy. In fact, oddly enough, making space for any emotion can make space for others too. It is possible to be deeply sad and deeply joyful at the same time. They don't cancel each other out, sometimes they even harmonize.

Micah 6:6-8 is one of my favorite texts, and I know that's true for many of you. “What does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” We try, really hard, to live this. But sometimes, I can get off kilter. I can get so focused on trying to do justice, that I forget to notice I'm also supposed to love and savor kindness. I also can forget that God is God and I'm not, and the responsibility for the whole world is NOT on my shoulders.

In recent months I've been hearing nudges from God to make more space for joy. It has been interesting to notice my own resistance to it. There are biases in me that worry about making space for joy. They tell me that I was born with rose colored glasses, and being an adult member of society requires me to see the injustices of the world clearly. They tell me that joy is trite, and not very serious, and I should be serious. They remind me of the things that break my heart, and suggest I worry more about those and less about trivial stuff. Basically, there is this whole narrative within me that says I'm supposed to be a mature, responsible human, and that means I should just attend to the hard stuff of life.

And that's all really interesting because I KNOW BETTER. I believe that God wants all people to be well, to survive and thrive, to experience joy and wonder. I don't think that anyone is excluded from that, so I believe we are honoring creation and connecting with the Divine when we experience joy.

I know that joy is resistance, that there are parts of our society that try to create anxiety, and sadness for personal gain, and it is useful have joy to repel that. I also know that joy creates internal resistance, making it possible to do the hard things when they come because they aren't the only thing.

I know a God who calls us to Sabbath- away from consumption and productively and into connection- and I know connection to be a great source of joy. That is, I believe God sets aside time for just joy so that we don't get confused into thinking life is just about work and hardship.

I also have the honor of being with people at the end of their life, and being with loved ones after a person has died. I know which memories are savored, which things are regretted, and how meaning is made of a life – and it all ends up calling us towards joy.

Finally, and this one may seem backwards – when we mourn unfair and early deaths, a lot of what we grief is the lack of space for the person to continue to have joy in their lives. That would seem to tell us that those who love us want us to life and find joy and savor it! JUST LIKE GOD DOES.

I know all that, I can expound on it for a lot longer than this, and I still find it hard to let myself do it. Some people are better at this than others, and maybe some roles in life hold emotions differently than other roles. I don't know. I kind of hope this is one of those sermons that doesn't resonate easily.

Some of the ones who are wise about God suggest that goodness, wonder, and joy lie at the heart of all things, and if you can just see them at the right angle, everything positively sparkles with joy. Other wise ones about God say that it is a mark of true faith to have deep joy.

Which is all to say, if there is some resistance to joy in you – be it your own struggles, or seemingly conflicting emotions, or some narratives that tell you that joy isn't right for you – I invite you to push back. God wants joy for you, and requests that you stop squelching it. Joy is for everyone, that's actually the thing we're doing. We're working with God to build the kin-dom of God, and one of the ways we'll know when we get there will be the abundance of joy. And one of the ways we get there is to stop getting in the way of joy!

So, a final story. When I was in college, I had a fairly significant fight with a friend because I'd shared that cookie cutters brought me joy and he maintained that was simply ridiculous. I argued I had a right to feel how I felt, he maintained that … well, basically it seems he said all the stuff I internalized as a narrative about what it means to be a mature adult. Hmmm, I thought I won that fight!! Anyway, there are sugar cookies available with coffee hour today, cut with cookie cutters and decorated with too many sprinkles, and I hope they bring you joy – you deserve it. Thanks be to God for that, amen.

Rev. Sara E. Baron First United Methodist Church of Schenectady 603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305 Pronouns: she/her/hers http://fumcschenectady.org/ https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady

December 17, 2023

#thinking church #progressive christianity #schenectady #fumc schenectady #first umc schenectady #umc #sorry about the umc #rev sara e baron #advent #Joy #Cookie Cutters #Sprinkles #NVC #Feelings

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storiesforallfandoms · 4 years ago

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oh captain ~ jack sparrow;pirates of the caribbean

word count: 2488

request?: yes!

“Can you do a Captain Jack Sparrow smut where the reader has a kink of calling Jack her captain”

description: in which she loves to call him her captain, even in the most intimate of situations

pairing: jack sparrow x female!reader

warnings: swearing, smut

masterlist

It all started as a joke.

I came aboard the Black Pearl in search of my sister, Elizabeth Swann, and her secret lover, Will Turner. It was no secret that they were travelling with notorious Captain Jack Sparrow and, although my parents did not exactly like Will Turner, they had sent me as a way to tell Elizabeth that they were giving her their blessing to marry Will.

Of course, the moment I - a single, young maiden that had often been described as “beautiful” by my suitors - stepped on to the ship, the captain himself couldn’t keep his eyes off of me. There was many a moment in which Elizabeth had to actually tell Jack that he was being too forward or too crass with me. I liked to play along with his games as well and would tease him back. My favorite way of teasing him was to call him “Captain” in a sarcastic manner.

The first time I said it was in response to Jack’s very bossy tone as he told Elizabeth and I to do something. “Oh, of course, Captain.”

I could see a fire light in his eyes even then as he looked at me. “What did you say?”

“Well, you insist that we on the boat here refer to you as your supposed title,” I had told him. “I was just saying it. I thought you would like that.”

“The way you said it,” he pointed out. “It wasn’t very...crewman like.”

“Oh, my apologies, Captain.”

The fire ignited in his eyes again, but he decided to leave it be this time and to go on to yell commands at his other crewmates.

That’s how it all started. It was just a joke, a way to poke fun at Jack without being too harsh. I used the nickname almost every time I saw him, and almost every time I could see a look on his face that was hard to understand.

That was, until I found myself bent over his desk moaning the original teasing nickname repeatedly.

I never expected to find myself falling for Captain Jack Sparrow. Elizabeth had told me many a story about his attempts at courting beautiful maidens, including herself despite her love for Will. The stories led me to believing that Jack was just a man who wanted to use then leave a woman. I wrote him off as nothing more than a scoundrel, a pirate captain. Oh, what a fool I was.

No one on the ship knew of our love affair, especially not Elizabeth. I loved my sister dearly and I knew she would never judge me for who I had fallen in love with, however I also knew she couldn’t keep a secret from our parents for the life of her, and the last thing I needed was to break my parents hearts by telling them that their youngest daughter had fallen in love with a pirate.

That’s why I continued to use the teasing nickname in such fashion in front of my sister, but every time I used it, I could see that spark of desire in Jack’s eyes.

There was one day that we were on course for some sort of treasure that Jack was dying to find.

“It’s been lost for hundreds of years,” he was explaining to Will. Elizabeth and I were trying to help some of the crewmen and overheard the conversation that both men were refusing to tell us. “Wealth and riches beyond your wildest dreams. You could buy over Elizabeth’s parents with that sort of money.”

“I don’t think anything could buy over Elizabeth’s parents at this rate,” Will joked. “But do you really believe it to be truth? I’ve heard it’s nothing but a - ”

“A pirate’s tale,” Jack finished. “A way to lead pirates to their deaths? I’ve heard those stories, too. But there’s only one way to find out.”

“Mad man is going to get us killed,” Elizabeth whispered to me. “He only cares for the riches he may get, he doesn’t think of the countless lives he’s risking.”

“Of course he doesn’t,” I responded. “Anything that will shower him in gold and recognition is his top priority.”

“What are you two talking about down there?” Jack called from his perch at the steering wheel.

Elizabeth and I shared a teasing glance before Elizabeth responded, “Just about how smart you are, my dear captain! This journey can only go right!”

Jack raised an eyebrow at the obvious sarcasm in Elizabeth’s voice before his eyes landed on me.

“We were discussing how much recognition you will get once you find this totally real treasure you’re looking for,” I said. I paused a moment before giving Jack a brief smirk as I added, “Captain.”

He shuffled a little, trying to make his lust seem like he was just annoyed with me and Elizabeth. I couldn’t help but smirk triumphantly at him before turning back to Elizabeth, who was also giggling.

“You both doubt me,” he finally said after a long stretch of silence, “but I’ll show you both, and this whole boat, that I am right and this treasure is real.”

He came down from his perch and walked into the room that was designated as “his office”, his eyes meeting mine for a split moment. “I’m going to study the map for some time, please do not disturb me.”

What he really meant was, No one else come disturb me, I will be fucking (Y/N)’s brains out.

I felt myself becoming tingly between my legs, a regular sensation that Jack was able to get out of me. I tried to keep a light look on my face, but it was hard to do so when all I wanted was to follow him into that room.

“You two should be kinder to him,” Will said, although he, too, was laughing. “He’s been kind enough to let us travel with him.”

“After trying to get under mine and (Y/N)’s skirts for a few months,” Elizabeth added. “He knows that we like him and that we are grateful for him. It’s just so easy to tease him sometimes.”

Tell me about it, I thought to myself.

“Maybe we should leave the captain alone to his mapping for a while,” Will said, wrapping an arm around Elizabeth’s waist. It was his only silent way of asking Elizabeth for what Jack was trying to get from me.

“Perhaps we should,” she responded and gave her husband to be a light kiss on his lips.

The two left without another word to me, which was alright by me. It meant that I didn’t have to make up an excuse as to why I was “disturbing” Jack when he asked me not to.

Once I was sure they were too busy with one another to notice me, I turned and raced for the door. I hastily did mine and Jack’s secret knock before shoving the door open. I was shocked to see that the room before me was empty - the desk where Jack usually sat waiting for me was empty, and there was almost no sight of him at all.

Before I could even consider why this had happened, the door slammed behind me and I felt someone take hold of my throat and shove me against the closed door. Jack’s lips met mine and I felt the familiar explosive feeling I had whenever we kissed. His hands were already roughly pulling at my skirt, trying to pull it up around my hips.

“Someone is impatient,” I breathed against his lips. “You told everyone not to disturb you, remember? You don’t have to be so fast and so rough.”

“But if I take you quickly once, I can take you again before anyone notices that we’re even gone.”

His dirty words ignited a fire in me. I giggled as he picked me up in his arms and laid me down on his desk. The poor thing had seen more of our action than any actual work that Jack had ever done. I was surprised that it was still standing after all this time.

I took hold of the back of Jack’s neck and pulled him in for another kiss. Our lips moved so perfectly with one another as his hands trailed up my bare legs, his cold rings leaving shivers where they trailed. I pulled at his pants, trying desperately to get them off. He chuckled against my lips, the vibrations running through my entire body.

“Who is the impatient one now?” he asked.

“Not like the great Captain to leave a girl waiting in her desire,” I teased, hoping the nickname would be used to my advantage.

Lucky for me, I knew that was the one thing that could break Jack. He roughly pulled at the strings around the back of my dress, causing it to loosen and fall off my body completely. Once my dress was a heap on the floor, Jack pushed me onto the desk so I was laying on my back. I watched as he undid his pants and pulled them down just far enough for his hard member to pop free. Just seeing how hard he was from the little amount of teasing we had been doing was enough to make me start dripping in anticipation.

I gasped as I felt him pushing himself into me. No matter how many times we had sex, I still continued to be shocked by how big he was. He made my eyes roll into the back of my head just by filling me with his hard cock.

His hand found my hair and he roughly pulled me up so my body was pressed against his. “What’s my name, love?”

“Captain,” I breathed, dying to move my hips against his to get some sort of friction between us. But I knew that would only result in him punishing me for being naughty.

My response earned me a few slow thrusts. I bit my lip as to not moan too loud, but it was hard to keep quiet during one of our rendezvous. They were often few and far between, leaving the two of us very pent up and needing of release when the time came.

“Say it again for me my pet,” he purred.

“Captain,” I moaned, wrapping my legs around his waist to pull him as closely as I could. “Oh, Captain.”

The grip he had on my hair tightened as he began to thrust into me more, now going at a quicker and more steady pace. I pressed my lips to his to try and muffle my moans, which were now starting to become loud enough for anyone who would be passing by to hear.

I moaned out the name a few more times, which led to me being laid back over the desk yet again with Jack leaning over me, his thrusts so rough now that the desk was being moved. I arched my back against him, trying to get him as far into me as he could go. One of his hands was gripping my thigh while the other was wrapped around my throat, pressing slightly against the sides every now and then, and causing me to feel lightheaded.

Jack was always able to hit a spot in me that made my brain turn to mush and my eyes roll back into my head. I could barley think straight when he was pounding that spot relentlessly inside of me, especially at that moment when the only thing I could feel was waves of pleasure rippling through my body.

I managed to pull my thoughts together enough to utter out a sentence, “I’m so close, Captain.”

“Let me feel you come undone around me, my pet,” he said. I could feel him twitching inside of me, indicating that he was close to finishing himself.

My fingers curled into the desk as I felt myself hitting my climax. My entire body seemed to curl in some way as I felt myself contracting around Jack. His hands slipped under my arched back, pulling my body up to press against him as he did his final thrusts and finished inside of me.

The aftermath of our love making rarely lasted long in fear of being caught. Jack held me for a short amount of time, kissing the top of my head and whispering sweet nothings into my ear, before he finally had to pull away from me and begin to redress himself. I pulled my dress back up.

“You mind tying me back up?” I asked him, turning around to present my still bare back to him.

He laced the strings through their proper holes and tied it tight enough that it would stay up, but not too tight to cause discomfort.

“Do you really think you’ll find that treasure you’re on route for?” I asked him once he was finished. “Do you think it’s real?”

“I choose to believe every treasure is real until proven otherwise,” he responded. “I know everyone on the ship thinks that I’m leading us to our deaths, but I truly believe there is something waiting for us at our destination.”

“Well, if you believe it then I believe you,” I said. “What do you plan on doing with your riches once you get them?”

“I’ll share them amongst the crew,” he started. “There’s supposedly enough to keep a dozen men from having to work for the rest of their lives, and I have just a little over a dozen men on this ship. What I keep for myself I’m going to use to get a better ship. The old Black Pearl is starting to see her end I’m afraid. And, with whatever is left, I intend to buy you a rock so big and so stunning that any royal woman would be jealous of it.”

He lifted my hand to his lips and gave my knuckles a soft kiss.

“You intend to marry me?” I asked him.

“Of course I do. Why do you seem shocked to hear that?”

I chuckled. “Well, the stories I’ve heard about the great Captain Jack Sparrow, none of them made it sound like he would ever settle down with a woman.”

Jack smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist, looking lovingly into my eyes. I could get lost staring into those beautiful eyes of his.

“A man must know when the right woman has come along,” he told me. “Especially a pirate. And the moment you stepped foot on my ship, I knew you were the right woman.”

“You sweet talker,” I said before pressing my lips to his. “When you do get me that ring, just know that I will say yes.”

“Of course, my love. And I cannot wait to have you to sail the seas with for the rest of my life.”

#jack sparrow #jack sparrow imagine #jack sparrow smut #jack sparrow x reader #captain jack sparrow #johnny depp #johnny depp imagine #johnny depp smut #johnny depp x imagine #imagine #one shot #smut #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

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atlabeth · 3 years ago

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hold onto me (im a little unsteady) - sokka x reader

i was listening to the song when i came up w this so feel free to listen to that if you want

summary: a late night with sokka reminds you that even on the worst days, you always have someone in your corner.

a/n: lmao this is 100% self indulgent i have no excuses. my parents are getting divorced and almost every time they're together they argue and so this is just a comfort fic after it happened again tonight bc GD i wish i had a sokka. this one goes out to all my divorce babies or people with parents that never stop arguing. you are very loved<3

wc: 1.7k, this got away from me lol

warning(s): mentions of parents arguing n shit, like the tiniest mentions of implying sex and problems with consent (in general, not with them), but this is all fluff

hey. i know you’re probably asleep right now but could you come over?

It was far too late at night when you sent the text. A question asked on a whim, an offer that would most likely go ignored due to the boy on the other end being asleep.

But goddammit, you really didn’t care. Even if he didn’t respond, just hitting ‘send’ made you feel slightly better. You had already taken refuge in one of the sweatshirts he had left at your house (read: one that you had stolen and refused to give back) and as your eyes fell on the glow of the digital clock on your bedside table, you were once again reminded of how stupid this was.

But you heard the telltale buzz of a notification and all but lunged for your phone, an uncontrollable smile tugging on your lips. You didn’t know why you ever doubted him.

sokka💙: you know i never sleep babe

sokka💙: a curse of my genius

sokka💙: im omw

you’re the best thank you love<3

A pair of fuzzy socks and a refilled water bottle later, you heard the sound of something hitting your window. Though you tensed up at first, a roll of your eyes was all it took before you remembered just who you had invited over. Another smile took over as you pushed yourself off of your bed, pushing the curtains aside in time to see another pebble hit the pane.

A physical effort took place to stifle the laugh as you pushed your window up, and you leaned against the sill on your elbows to get a better look at your ridiculous boyfriend.

“Throwing rocks at my window? I think I’m stuck in a bad romcom.”

He grinned and let the remaining pebbles fall to the ground. “It’s what’s to be expected from your Prince Charming, right? Besides, I’m assuming that your parents wouldn’t just let me walk through the front door at this hour.”

You felt the heat rise to your cheeks. Just the sight of Sokka was always enough to make you feel better, and tonight was no exception. The vice on your heart was already starting to loosen. “Right as usual. Think you’ll catch me if I jump?”

He laughed and made a show of looking up and down the distance and then at his arms. “I’d like to say so, but I think we’d have better luck if I climb up.”

“You sure you can do that, big guy?” you asked with a teasing grin. He rolled his eyes with the same sentiment.

“Of course I can. I just thank nature that there’s a tree so close to your window. It’s saved me from a lot of embarrassing falls.”

You chuckled and backed away from the window, the slight chill from the night air beginning to get to you. “I’ll leave you to it while I get things ready.”

Truth be told, your room was a total mess at the moment. You knew Sokka wouldn’t care, especially not now, but it put you slightly more at ease to have something in your life that you could control. You were in the middle of shoving some previously strewn-about clothes into your closet when you heard the click of your window closing. When you turned around, you were met with your boyfriend’s smiling face.

“You’re so pretty,” you murmured as you walked over to him. He wrapped his arms around your waist as you kissed him lightly on the lips, unable to stop the blossoming smile nor the warmth that the action gave you. “Thank you for being here.”

“Of course.” The softness of his words were in stark contrast to the joking bravado from only minutes earlier, and as you stepped away from his embrace and pushed yourself onto your bed, he joined you on the other side. “And not that I’m not happy to be here, but I just wanna know. What’s going on?”

You sighed, letting one leg hang off the bed as you tucked the other in. It was a testament to Sokka’s power how quickly he had gotten you to forget about the new mess of the night. “The usual showing of fuckall and fuckup. I’m more impressed by how they never run out of things to scream at each other about.”

Your bad joke didn’t get a laugh out of him, which you were secretly glad for. Instead, he snaked an arm around your back and tugged you closer, a contented sigh falling from your lips as you nestled your head into the space between his shoulder and his head. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “You know it’s not your fault, right?”

The phrase had gone in one ear and out the other more times than you could count from your parents, but each time Sokka said it, the words held a different weight. You knew it wasn’t your fault in the first place, but guilt didn’t care all that much for logic. You knew he meant it though, and once more the vice loosened.

“I know. But it still helps to hear it.” You glanced up at him, reaching a hand up to twist a loose strand of his hair around your finger. “You should wear your hair down more often,” you mused. “It makes you look like a prince.”

He chuckled, amusement glinting through his ocean eyes. “I did say I was your Prince Charming, didn’t I?”

You smiled, slowly uncurling his hair from your finger. “Yeah.”

“That means I’ll always be there for you. Especially to save my royal from their evil stepparents.”

Another laugh bubbled in your chest at that, and you leaned closer into him. “Thank you. The more I visit your place, the more I want your family to be mine. Hakoda is like, the nicest man I’ve ever met, and your mom? She actually makes me want to cry with how sweet she is. I think I know where you get it from.”

He grinned and bumped your leg with his own. “You know you’re welcome over there any time. But maybe you shouldn’t — I think my mom might actually adopt you with how much she loves you. That… that would be really weird.”

His joy was infectious as you planted another kiss on his cheek, something that earned you a, as you liked to call it, dazzling Signature Sokka Smile. “I’ll make sure she holds off on the adoption papers for now.”

“I’d like that.”

And though the happiness you felt at the moment was almost overwhelming, that was just what caused that tiny sliver of doubt to come in. When people invited their partners over at three in the morning, it usually wasn’t to sit on the bed and talk about their problems. It was… it was for more, and you didn’t want that right now. And because you were an expert at it, you decided to put your foot in your mouth and start talking.

“I— I’m sorry that I called you over here so late, for no reason. I know you probably expected something else than me ranting, but…” you sighed, drawing your knees closer to your chest as you brought your other hand to Sokka’s resting on your shoulder. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea.”

He sighed at that, but you knew it wasn’t one of disappointment. “You know I’m here for you. I don’t care if you just want to sit in silence for the next five hours while we stare at the wall, or if you want to watch sappy rom coms until your eyes bleed. I’m more than okay with staying like this. I didn’t come over here because I expected anything from you — I came over here because you needed me, and so I’m here.” Sokka smiled, an image you didn’t think would ever stop making you melt, and intertwined your hand with his. “This is perfect. You’re perfect.”

You were so stunned at the brazen declaration that your voice got stuck in your throat for a moment, holding back tears. (Happy tears. They were never anything other than happy tears with Sokka.) It hit you then that you didn’t really know what it was like having someone get close to you without an ulterior motive.

“Thank you,” you murmured after a moment of comfortable silence. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You knew he was smiling, even without having to look up at him. You could hear it in his voice, feel it in the kiss he pressed to your hairline.

A comfortable silence hung in the air for a long time until you broke it. “You know… my dad kinda ran off to a motel for the night after this whole thing, and my mom leaves early in the morning. If you were serious about those rom coms…” You allowed the unsaid question of staying the night to fester so Sokka knew he could say no if he wanted to, but he didn’t even hesitate.

“Of course I was serious. I mean, I’ve gotta get the ideas for our future wedding from somewhere.”

You laughed, a sentiment that had occurred more times in the ten minutes he had been here than the past week, and picked the remote for your little box TV off of your bedside table. You clicked through various movies until you found one Sokka liked, and then you cuddled deeper into his side to prepare for the ride you had ahead of you.

Thirty minutes into 27 Dresses, he had fallen asleep, arm still around you and one of his legs slightly intertwined with one of your own. But it’s not like you minded — the familiar weight of Sokka in your bed had caused all your worries to melt away, if only for the night.

You didn’t expect him to last past the first movie, but you were sure you would at least get through until Katherine Heigl got the man. But there was an overwhelming feeling of safety permeating the air with Sokka’s arms around you, and you ended up knocked out before she could even get through all twenty seven dresses.

It wasn’t lost on you how fortunate you were — he didn’t expect anything like that from you, he just wanted you to be safe. He was there for you. You would never understand how you had gotten so lucky with your boyfriend, but you would never stop being grateful for him.

this is the most self indulgent thing ive ever written and i am NOT sorry

perm tags: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77

atla tags: @marianne1806 @brown-eyed-thang @akiris

#sokka x reader #sokka x you #sokka x y/n #sokka fic #sokka #sokka atla #atla #avatar #avatar the last airbender #avatar fic #atla fic #sadie writes #everyone deserves him.... sokka im sorry u have 100 gfs and bfs

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generallybarzy · 3 years ago

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If You'll Have Me Forever.

an: this is the little fic i decided to write based on a dream i had. I wrote it all in one day while I was at my grandparent's house with no internet or computer, so i wrote it all in my notebook and then typed it up on here haha.

warnings: unedited, mentions of past emotional trauma and unhealthy families

word count: 1.7k

You always loved spending time with Mat's family. Whenever there was a break in the season, you two quickly found yourselves on a plane out to Vancouver, holding hands in the airplane and in the car on the way to his parent's house.

It had been like this since your first summer with them. Mat had invited you home with him for part of the offseason, and although you'd only been dating almost a year and were still nervous to meet his family, you couldn't say no. His family had welcomed you warmly, in fact, warm may not even be good enough to describe it. His parents smiled as soon as they saw you- saw you holding their son's hand, saw him smile proudly as he finally introduced you to them as his girlfriend.

Then, they hugged you.

You hadn't come from a loving family, not one where you openly told each other "I love you" or "I'm proud of you", and certainly not one that hugged and had family game nights. After much discussion with Mat and with your therapist, you came to the conclusion that your family had been borderline emotionally neglectful, and you saw how your childhood had scarred you. Mat's family was so openly affectionate and loving towards you right off the bat that it overwhelmed you, to the point of you going upstairs and refusing to come down until Mat had a talk with you. He was understanding, gently told them to be a little more reserved, and helped to slowly ease you into their love. And that just made you love him even more.

Now, it was your first holiday season with them. After spending a good chunk of last summer in Vancouver, you were certainly excited to spend a few days of your winter here with them rather than in your empty little apartment. You and Mat had flown out the night before, and arrived early in the morning, grateful that the team had managed a few extra days off this season- just enough days to make a trip worth it. The whole day had been spent talking and laughing and just catching up with his family about the past year- how things were going with your studies, with your job, how Mat’s season was going, and how your relationship was going. Later in the evening, after a long round of some board game they’d pulled from the closet, the jet lag and overwhelming, unfamiliar feeling of familial love caught up to you. So, in the middle of preparing some snacks to munch on during the next round of the game, you faked a phone call and quickly excused yourself to the snowy back patio, slipping into your coat and snow boots on the way and disappearing out the door.

Mat had been keeping a close eye on you all night.

He knew how you got about affection, you were even still a little shy receiving love from him, and the last thing he wanted to do was let him or his family overwhelm you again. He had gone to talk with his dad for five minutes- about a topic that had him immediately searching for you to go hide away and get some much needed alone time- and when he came back to the living room, you weren’t where he left you with his mom and sister.

“Where’s (Y/N)?”

“Oh,” his mom looked up from preparing the food. “She stepped out back to take a phone call.”

“Yeah?” Mat snuck over to the backdoor, squinting out into the snow and spotting your figure, no phone in sight. He slipped on a pair of shoes and grabbed his jacket from next to the door. “I think the jetlag might be stting in. I’ll be right back.”

He stepped out onto the back patio, the snow crunching beneath his fluffy slippers. You didn’t even turn when you heard the door close behind him, and that’s how he knew something was wrong.

“Baby… what are you doing out in the cold?” He came up next to you, curling an arm over your shoulders. “Were they too much? Should I tell them to back off a bit?” Finally, you turned to face him. Your eyes were wet and red, but you had a soft little smile on your face. “Aw, baby.”

“I love them so much, Mat.”

“C’mere.” He pulled you against his chest, rubbing his hands up and down your cold arms. You curled your arms around his waist, snuggling in under his winter jacket. “Babe, you should be wearing something heavier out here. I don’t want you getting sick.” Still, you stayed where you were, tucked into his jacket with him and hiding away from the snow and the world. “I’m glad you love my family so much. I hope you can tell they love you too. And if they’re too much, I’ll tell them, okay?”

“I know.”

“Just let me know. I know how you get uncomfortable when you receive this much love, but I hope you know you deserve it, okay? You’re absolutely amazing.” At his words, you lifted your face from the comfort of his chest, eyes red and face hot, streaked with tears. Snowflakes melted on impact, and Mat’s thumb brushed away the wetness. “Please don’t cry, baby.”

“I’m just… so overwhelmed. In the best way possible, I promise.”

“That’s good.”

“And I’m getting sleepy.”

“Jetlag finally catching up to you?” You nodded, burrowing back into the warmth of his jacket. He smiled, squeezing you against him. “Let’s go to bed, yeah, sweetheart?”

“Nooooo, I just wanna stay like this.”

“Okay, okay.” He smiled and lifted his hands in mock surrender. “We’ll stay out here for a little, but we gotta go in when you get cold.” Mat knew the reason you didn’t want to go back inside yet. One, because you didn’t want to cry in front of his family, but also because after spending the whole day with them, you were starved of sweet, gentle moments like this, alone with Mat. He knew you loved his family, but God, how you loved him. You’d been holding back all your hugs and kisses today, keeping low on the PDA in front of his family, and you’d gotten needy. He pulled out his phone and sent a quick text to his parents, saying the two of you were gonna be done for the night and wanted a little alone time, and he knew they’d understand and head to bed. The snow was picking up now, so Mat put his phone back in his pocket and pulled you with him against the wall of the house, your arms tucked under his fuzzy coat and holding tight around his waist, watching the snow fall and enjoying the comforting silence of the world.

“Do you know how much people love you?”

“Mat…” You smiled and hid your face shyly.

“No, do you know? Everyone who meets you falls a little bit in love with you. Everyone. You just have this… this loveable nature to you/ You’re the sweetest, kindest, most amazing person I know.” You didn’t respond, but Mat saw the smile on your face and felt the way your arms squeezed around his torso. “Remember how earlier, I was talking to my dad? You know what he was saying? He said ‘the way you look at (Y/N), that’s how I looked at your mom’. And how he still does.” That got your attention, and you lifted your face to look at him, at the pretty, genuine love in his dark eyes. “Hey, there’s that pretty face!” Your hands slid further up his back, and you perched up on your tiptoes, reaching up for a soft kiss that Mat gladly met you halfway for. “I’m serious when I say I love you, okay?”

“I know.”

“I get that you didn’t have the best relationship with your family, and they weren’t the healthiest, especially when it came to showing these types of emotions, but I’m gonna make sure you get used to it. Cause you’re gonna be in my life for a long, long time.”

“Forever?”

“If you’ll have me forever.”

Everything went silent, save for the soft falling of snow, at that whispered promise. The tears filled your eyes again, just so, so happy that you had someone like Mat in your life, and that he was so understanding and patient with you.

“If you’ll have me forever, my family would be more than happy to call you one of us. You could spend all your birthdays, holidays, and celebrations here, and they’d love you. I’d love you. I do. You’d never feel unloved again, if you’ll have me forever.”

“Mat are... Are you proposing?”

He shook his head quickly. “No. Not yet, not officially. Just take this as a… warning.”

You laughed a little bit. “A warning, Mat?”

“No, ugh… um, how about a promise. Yeah, a promise. A promise that if you’ll have me forever, I’ll do nothing but show you how damn loveable you are. I know I can’t erase the years of pain… God, or the trauma that your family put you through, but I promise you I’m gonna try my hardest. You deserve so much better than what they’d given to you, and I’ll give that to you.” Mat saw the tears in your eyes and swooped down to kiss your cheeks repeatedly. “I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to make you cry, baby.” He could say so, so much more, but he wanted to take care of you first. “Enough of my sappy rambling, yeah? My toes are freezing. Can we go in?” He saw you glance down at his feet and immediately started giggling.

“Nice slippers, grandpa.”

“They’re cozy.” He grinned, happy to see you smiling again. He had grabbed his dad’s shoes to come out, knowing you found his silly dad-fashion funny. “Now, let’s get to bed, sleepyhead.” He pulled you back into the warm, quiet house and led the way up to his bedroom, happy to finally have some time to just cuddle up under the blankets along with you. But as you fell asleep, tucked safely in his arms with a content, peaceful smile, he could fall asleep along with you. Instead, he lay there, watching you for hours, his thoughts filled with his dad’s words from earlier and quietly, secretly, he was writing long lines of phrases he wanted to say to you, phrases that would one day become part of his proposal.

I promise I’ll keep you safe, I promise I’ll keep you smiling and loved... if you’ll have me forever.

#mat barzal #mat barzal x reader #mat barzal fic #op #fic

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parkers-gal · 4 years ago

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yay! okay so I was thinking, what I'd the reader and Tom had a fight, could be over anything, but the reader was pregnant and a few years after, they bump into each other and they get back together. Sorry if it doesn't make sense.

this has been sitting in my inbox for a fat couple of months… sorry 😭

wc: 1.7k ! <3

—

“No, because you’re selfish and you can’t handle the fact that my life doesn’t revolve around you and your needs.” Tom spits out the words angrily, viciously, voice harsh and crisp.

You’re both frustrated beyond belief, and the bubble that had been overblown had finally popped, splattering your relationship and all the joyful aspects of it. Right now, you felt as if all that was left was the toxicity of two unbearable people who happened to love each other. You knew, deep down, that you loved each other enough to get through this, but with every passing moment, with every exchanged word, you realized at least one of you wouldn’t survive the damage.

“No, Tom. You’re selfish. You’re conceited and you only care about being a goddamn movie star. What happened to the family man, huh? What happened to staying tied down with me and your brothers?”

“Nothing happened to him! I’m still that person. I am a family guy.”

“Not to me, you aren't.”

“Well you’re not family!” He seethes through his teeth, anger radiating off of his short-tempered demeanor. You don’t even know how to react, so you spend the time soaking in the situation and how you should respond instead of actually doing it.

“You’re a fucking jackass. I asked when I could spend time with you and now you don’t even consider me as part of the family.”

“No,” He’s clear and concise even through the anger. “You asked when I’m going to stop living my life.”

“I said no such thing.”

“You didn’t have to! We both know that’s what you meant.”

“You’re not even on the same page as me anymore,” You scoff, arms crossing. “Seems like all this time in Hollywood made you forget that you’re not always the main character.”

“Fuck that, Y/N! Fuck! That!”

“No, Tom. Fuck. You.” You over-express your emotions, and after two more minutes of unbearable silence and screaming, he’s leaving your apartment just as fast as he arrived. You’re in shock, fingers shaking while you clear your throat, which is frayed and sore from all the yelling.

You sit back, elbows on your knees while your hands smoothen out your forehead. Tear after tear escapes your sobbing body, and eventually, you fall asleep on the couch.

In the weeks to come, you’ve realized the blow-out of a breakup could’ve been handled so much differently, but Tom hasn’t seemed to cool down at all — he’s petty enough to unfollow you on all social media, and you figure it’s time to let the hatred be mutual. You don’t touch your imessages, however, letting the love in those texts linger for a little longer.

Before you know it, you’re throwing up into the toilet boil, coughing violently at the action and spitting the bitter taste as best you can. You clean up, and when you check your phone, a small notification from your period tracker app alerts you that this is the second period in a row that has gone by without a hello.

Worried, you call Aisha, your closest friend and confidant. She’s over in no time, bringing along her girlfriend while you rant on the phone about your worries. They stop at the drugstore on the way.

The cause of your problems is discovered that day, and you collapse on the bathroom floor in agony, hands wiping at your face — through all the anger and fear and worry, you still love Tom. So much that Aisha even attempts to call Tom. But, alas, it’s sent straight to voicemail, and you realize he might’ve gone to extreme extents in blocking everyone.

You’re stuck going to the ultrasound with two lesbians and a frail old cat. Aisha is as supportive as ever, but as the doctor explains the process of each option, you feel sicker and sicker about the idea of getting rid of the fetus. In the end, you choose to keep the child you’re bearing, even if your ex-lover isn’t even in the picture.

Inevitably, the months pass, and as baby Charlie is brought into the wonderful world, you realize life as a single mother isn’t as scary as you thought it would be. In the first few months of your pregnancy, you’d kept tabs on what film Tom was doing and which was coming out next, but after the hormones and cravings, you’d decided to let the past sizzle and fade out in the way it was meant to all along.

It’s been almost three years since that fateful breakup, and Charlie is just reaching two and a half years old. You’re still single, and you’re okay with that. Charlie is all you need, all you’ve ever wanted, and the most important thing in your life. He’s young, and school is still a couple years away, but you enjoy having the toddler by your side, walking hand in hand with you because you’re his guardian, his provider, his only parent. You make him your only priority, because you don’t want him to grow up without anyone to love, or anyone to love him.

It’s hard, though. It’s hard because he’s a constant reminder of what didn’t happen, a constant reminder of what went wrong and of what you no longer have. You miss Tom more than words can express, and Charlie’s mop of brown curls reminds you of all the moments you’d run your fingers through Tom’s hair. You reminisce more than you’d like to, about Tom and your past, and though Charlie is technically half of the Brit, he’s one hundred percent yours. Because you’re the only one here, and that’s alright.

“Mummy,” Charlie tugs on your shirt’s hem while you move the shopping cart forward through the aisle. “Can we get the goldfish with superheroes?”

You jutt your lip out in a smile, nodding happily. “Of course we can, bub.”

As you step forward, you pit stop in the aisle, nearly tripping on the cart. You make direct eye contact with the man you used to love with your entire heart. The man who walked out with your heart and never gave it back. He’s staring right back at you, curls looking as fluffy as ever, face still a soft glow. Your breath hitches, and it’s then that you realize Charlie is still talking.

“Mummy?” He asks, and it’s just loud enough for Tom to hear. Harry, who’s beside Tom with an arm full of crackers and chips. Tom moves forward a few steps, hastily in an attempt to get more information.

“Uh, hi,” His smile is tight lipped as he stands at the other end of your shopping cart. Charlie shies away from strangers, standing behind your leg and holding your shirt with his grubby hands.

“Hi,” you return his awkward, reserved demeanor.

“Mummy who’s this?”

“‘Mummy?’” Tom has a follow up question for everything, and you internally panic, unsure on how to approach this.

You’d spent so long deciding how you should tell Tom that he was a dad. You spent hours debating on if you should pick up the phone or drive over just to tell him a truth you’ve kept inside for so long. You’ve abandoned social media, only sharing aspects of your life you can afford to post. Charlie is only occasionally on your page, but it’s not like Tom would see that, not after all that’s happened.

Your mouth opens and closes while you debate on how to reply. You’re physically incapable of saying your response, and it makes you even more nervous. You’re nervous on how he might react, what he’ll say, but most importantly, if he’ll stay.

“Is this…?

“My kid…” You fill in. “I- I mean our… our kid.” You pull your bottom lip between your rows of teeth, and you watch as Tom’s face undergoes thousands of expressions all at once. He’s surprised, shocked, happy, afraid, uncertain. You want the world to swallow you whole, suck you up so you don’t have to go through any of this again. But you don’t. Instead, you hold Charlie’s hand a little tighter.

“Our kid?” He drops a can of soup and you flinch at the loud noise.

“Mummy, who’s that?”

“That’s…” You don’t know how to answer his question. Instead, you lean down to his level, comfortingly and gently. “He’s a man.”

“Who’s that man?”

“He’s… your daddy.”

“I thought… no daddy?”

You purse your lips and furrow your brows. Tom’s watching the entire encounter from his place, but after a few beats, he steps forward, entering your bubble. Charlie doesn’t cower away this time, but looks up in curiosity.

“Hi, Charlie,” Tom extends his hand, adjusting his jeans so he can lean down just as you are, kneeling beside the young boy.

You look down, avoiding your worries and Tom’s gaze. He’s tearing up, and you want to cry too. You’re in a fucking supermarket, for god’s sake. This wasn’t how you envisioned any of this planning out, and though you’re mentally kicking yourself for letting it happen this way, you can’t help but feel like maybe this was meant to be. Written in the stars or whatever the folks say — you’re just grateful Charlie has at least a sliver of hope for two parents. Not that you can’t handle it, because you can, but you know someone like Tom wouldn’t want to miss something as important as this.

“I’m To- I’m…” He swallows thickly, making brief eye contact with you before looking back at Charlie. “I’m your dad.”

“Do you love my mummy?” He’s not shameless, but he’s still that shy little boy. “My friend says daddy’s love mommy’s so you must love mine, right?”

Tom lets a tear fall while he exhales a chuckle. He swipes the drop with the tips of his fingers, and the hand gripping Charlie’s squeezes it a little tighter. A glance in your direction is all it takes for him to answer Charlie’s question. “Yeah, buddy. I do.”

want more? my masterlist.

taglist tingz :) 🏷️ want to join? fill out this form.

th + pp taglist: @spideyspeaches @strawberrytom (no smut) @turtletaylor98 @parkerpeterparker2004 @peterbenjiparker @kelieah

permanent taglist: @mayrapreciado20 @tomhollandlol @roseke @supremethunda @wonderfulfluffer @farfromtommy @mamaparker28 (no smut/tw) @pxxerfect (no smut) @seutarose @pixiedustsupplyco @itssmadelyn @white-wolf1940 @woopwoopwoop222 @chrisosterfield (no tw)

th taglist: @lmaotshollandd

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x pregnant!reader #dad!tom holland #dad!tom #dad!tom holland fic #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst #tom holland fanfic #tom holland imagine #tom holland oneshot #tom holland blurb #tom holland request #tom holland fluffy #tom holland angsty

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lumelii · 3 years ago

Text

PANDA ~|~ NANAMI x FEM!READER

Summary: Nanami and Yuuji stop into the local bakery. Nanami finds something he wants that’s off the menu.

Content warning: fluff, little bit of pining, child-parent relations, singledad!Nanami

Note: thanks again to Moni for beta-reading 🥰

word count: 1.6k

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“Daddy! Look!”

It was a bakery they had passed multiple times on the way home, living just next door to it. It was small, tucked into one half of the ground floor of the low building it occupied, sharing a wall with a pharmacy. It served reasonably priced pastries and sandwiches, as well as some of the best coffee in Tokyo. Nanami usually took Yuuji there once or twice a month and let him pick what he wanted for breakfast.

The window display was almost always the same, Nanami would have missed the slight change as he tried to juggle the various bags they had accumulated from their early Saturday morning errands if his young son hadn’t pointed it out. He looked over to see the small bag of fruit he had asked Yuuji to carry on the sidewalk, a lone apple rolling away while his son stood on his tiptoes, his nose practically pressed to the glass.

Instead of the standard fare on the very top shelf, there was a row of buns in the shapes of various animals, with different fillings for each shape written neatly on cards next to each. Nanami had to admire the work, they were incredibly detailed.

“It’s a panda!” Yuuji looked back at Nanami and pointed at the aforementioned bun in the middle. “Can we get one?”

Nanami caught himself before denying Yuuji outright. He had been especially good today when they were running their errands, not complaining once as his father dragged him through town and entertaining himself in the various shops without getting into trouble. And they could go to the park later so Yuuji could run off his energy. A little sugar wouldn’t kill him.

“Sure. Go pick up your bag, though.” He pointed to the forgotten paper bag.

Yuuji quickly ran to pick up the bag (as well as the apple, adding it back to the bag before Nanami could tell him no), and grabbed his father’s hand to all but pull him into the bakery. It wasn’t as crowded as Nanami would have thought for a Saturday morning, something for which he was grateful. When there was a crowd, Yuuji liked to use people as obstacles and run around and through them as fast as he could. Only the obstacles moved, and he usually ended up on his butt more times than he would have liked.

They were able to go straight to an empty table to drop off their shopping before moving to the counter, and after a few seconds, one of the workers packaging cookies turned around, and Nanami’s breath caught in his throat.

It wasn’t like the bakery didn’t have pretty women working there-there were several, ones who would shamelessly flirt and try to butter up Yuuji as a means to get closer to his father, but Nanami didn’t indulge or even notice them. He was polite, got what he needed, then left. He never played into whatever fantasies the cashier of the month decided to dream up.

However, this time, it was hard to remind himself of that conviction when easily the prettiest worker he had ever seen there walked up to the register and smiled at him. Was she new? She had to be new, he’d never seen her before. He would have remembered seeing someone like you.

“Hi, welcome in.” You greeted and leaned against the counter. “What can I get for you?”

“Panda!” Yuuji yelled, his nose peeking over the top of the counter as he looked at you.

“Yuuji.” Nanami scolded and picked him up so he could actually see you. “Ask politely, son.”

Yuuji smiled at him then turned to smile at you. “Can I please have a panda bun please?”

You smiled and nodded. “Of course, sir.” You replied, making him giggle. Your smile widened and you finally looked at Nanami. “And for you?”

“I’ll just have a black coffee.” Nanami didn’t think he could focus on eating without choking if you were going to be walking around the bakery.

“Me too!”

“He’ll have a hot chocolate.”

“I want what you’re having.” Yuuji pouted. Nanami sighed and turned back to the counter.

“Make mine a hot chocolate too.”

You took his money and handed him a number for the table. “Give me just a second, I’ll bring everything to your table. Make yourself at home.”

Nanami nodded and lead Yuuji away from the big display case by the register back to their table, helping him out of his heavy winter coat when he was seated safely. He tried his best to listen to his son as he talked about a dog they had seen earlier today during their shopping trip, but he was finding it very hard to focus.

His eyes kept wandering back behind the counter, watching as you made their drinks and talked with the other workers, laughing along with them at a joke someone had said. He’d never felt this kind of attraction toward another person. It was irrational. He didn’t know you. Yet he still felt that draw.

There had been other women before Yuuji had come into his life, even a few dalliances on nights when Gojou would take him out and Toji would stay home to watch the kids, just to satisfy that primal need. There was even a girlfriend at one point. But Yuuji had declared he didn’t like her after several months, and that was enough for Nanami to end the relationship. There was no point in pursuing a woman who couldn’t to get along with his son.

So why was it now, after finding contentment in being alone for so long, that all he wanted to do was go up and ask you, a complete stranger, on a date?

“You boys are lucky.” Nanami looked up and saw you were now standing next to their table, placing their to-go cups in front of them as well as Yuuji’s panda bun. “This was the second to last one.”

“Do you normally sell out quickly on the animals?” He heard himself asking, like the back of his neck wasn’t on fire right now.

“We only just started making them this week, but for the most part, yes.” You straightened from setting the food down and hugged the tray to your chest. “The red bean panda usually sells first. I suppose people are more used to the flavor.”

“What’s your name?” Yuuji asked suddenly, taking a big bite out of the head of his panda.

“I’m Y/N.” You smiled at the young boy. “What’s yours?”

Thankfully, Yuuji took the time to actually swallow his food before speaking, which was uncharacteristic of him. “My name is Yuuji.” His son said proudly. “I’m five.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Yuuji.” Your eyes turned to Nanami expectantly. “And your name?”

“His name is Dad.” Yuuji told her before Nanami could reply. She laughed, and he thought he hadn’t heard anything quite so wonderful today.

“And is that your first or last name?”

“Our last name is Nanami.” Yuuji answered again, cutting off his father as he opened his mouth to speak. “We live in the building next door.”

“Really? So I do. I just moved in. We’re neighbors.”

“Can I come visit you?” Yuuji asked excitedly.

“Yuuji, let’s not take up any more of the lady’s time.” Nanami interjected, noticing another customer had walked in, but also slightly embarrassed at his son’s oversharing.

“You’re fine, don’t worry. We already had our big morning rush.” You leaned in closer so the young boy wouldn’t hear what you were saying. “I put a shot of espresso in your cup. It should help if you need the caffeine.”

Nanami merely stared back when you pulled back and smiled again. He didn’t know how to respond to this kindness from a total stranger. You didn’t even know him, yet you spoke and cared as if you had been acquainted for a lifetime.

“Y/N!” A voice from the kitchen yelled before Nanami could open his mouth to thank you properly. “We’re almost out of spritz cookies!”

“Coming!” You yelled back and bowed slightly to Nanami. “It was nice to meet you, Dad-san.”

You were gone before he could reply. “It’s Kento.” He murmured to himself. However, Yuuji heard him and fixed him with a frown.

“Your name is Dad.” Yuuji said resolutely.

“I had a name before you came along.”

“And now it’s Dad.”

They sat quietly finishing their drinks, Yuuji swinging his legs happily as he finished his bun and watched the people coming and going in the bakery with wide, curious eyes. Nanami tried hard not to stare at you behind the counter as you worked, but his eyes kept drifting your direction of their own volition. He’d never felt this kind of pull before. He had to be imagining it. He was being irrational.

His line of vision as he watched the door to the kitchen, waiting for you to come out again after disappearing several minutes ago, was blocked when another server came up and set a brown bag with the bakery’s logo on the table. Nanami immediately picked it up and tried to hand it back.

“We didn’t order this.” He told the teenage boy.

“They’re on the house,” was all the boy said before going back behind the counter.

Nanami looked behind the counter and saw you had appeared again, now watching them. When he caught your eye, you smiled widely and gave him a small thumbs up. Looking inside the bag, there was a pair of peanut butter chocolate chip cookies, along with the last panda bun. When he turned the bag to put it in with one of the larger shopping bags from their trip, the black ink of a marker caught his eye. Pulling the bag back out, he noticed the same neat handwriting from the display case.

‘Thanks for coming in, neighbor ^_^’

He was truly fucked.

tags: @oikawaandkuroostan (let me know if you want to get added to my tag list-either for this story or any of my writing!)

#growing pains #single dad!nanami #nanami x y/n #nanami kento #itadori yuuji #fanfiction #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fanfic #dadami

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spencers-renaissance · 3 years ago

Text

you know that a boy who likes boys is a dead boy

Summary: Spencer's gay. He joins the BAU and befriends the team, but it is 2003. It's a secret he has to keep. He just didn't expect it to be this hard.

Tags: gay!spencer, coming out, hurt/comfort, insecure!spencer, misunderstandings, angst with a happy ending, dad hotch, protective!hotch, protective!derek, childhood trauma TW: one instance of explicit homophobia, but it is referenced a lot, as is Spencer's internalised homophobia at the start of this fic. A shit ton of heteronormativity but tbh that's just canon lol

Pairing: Spencer Reid/OMC, Spencer Reid & Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid & Aaron Hotchner, The BAU Team & Spencer Reid

Word Count: 6k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

Consider this my contribution to pride month 😌 I've waited so long to post it and I'm so glad I'm finally doing it because it's definitely one of my all time favourites <3 Gideon is here somewhere but just like with all my early season fics he's not really part of the plot I combined my moreid and gen taglists bc it was hard to know the audience for this, but just ignore it if you're not interested!

you know that a boy who likes boys is a dead boy, unless he keeps his mouth shut, which is what you didn’t do, because you are weak and hollow and it doesn’t matter anymore. — richard siken, a primer for the small weird loves

Spencer has only told one person in his whole life.

His mother guessed. For as long as he can remember, she’s used gender neutral pronouns when talking about his future partner, read him all the gay literature she could find, promised him that he’s perfect just the way he is.

The trouble is that Spencer only believes her until the first grade, when Ryan Sampson shoves him over in the playground and calls him gay. His mom had only ever used that term in a sweet, loving way, taking care to associate such words with positivity, as long as his dad wasn’t around to hear. When that word comes out of Ryan Sampson’s mouth, it is not said with sweetness and love; it is said with venom, and Spencer learns quickly that his mom is wrong. He is not perfect just the way he is.

And so, he keeps it a secret. When his mom notices him getting uncomfortable at the mention of future partners, she stops bringing it up, though she refuses to give up the diverse education she provides for him outside of school. His dad tells him that one day he’ll be a strapping young man and marry a nice girl in a church, and Spencer nods along. He ignores the way his stomach turns with anxiety at the thought. Ignores the screaming match his parents have that night. Ignores the fact that it started because Diana chipped in with ‘or boy’.

He’s in high school by the time he’s twelve, and the only part he’s grateful for is the absence of pressure to get a girlfriend. His dad’s out of the picture now, and Spencer tries not to let himself think that maybe if he wasn’t like this he might have stayed. Diana’s so out of it most days that she doesn’t remember what she noticed about him when he was a child, only recalling the last few years of shoving himself so far back in the closet he can hardly see the door anymore.

It feels like he’s lost his last ally.

(He hates that a small part of him feels relieved she doesn’t remember; that he almost feels assured by the fact that the last person to know who he really is has forgotten. There is only this version of Spencer Reid now. No other exists.)

He makes the mistake during his second undergraduate degree. He’s just turned eighteen but he is already a doctor and, fortunately, this alienates him from most of his peers, but someone manages to slide past his defences. Ethan Miller is twenty, in the second year of his (first) undergraduate degree in Chemical Engineering, and he’s nice. Spencer doesn’t have a lot of experience with friendship, but they get on well and Ethan makes him laugh. For the first time, he feels comfortable in the presence of anyone other than his mother.

They slip into an easy friendship: waiting for each other after class — Spencer back in the undergraduate buildings now he has his first PhD under his belt — and going out for ice cream and pizza and Thai food. Ethan goes to parties while Spencer studies, and then they reconvene to watch Doctor Who and play cards.

For almost a year, Spencer keeps his secret carefully locked up, hidden behind the mask he’s perfected after so many years. Even though he’s eighteen, nearly nineteen now, he doesn’t try and explore that side of himself. No, that’s far too risky. He doesn’t try and pretend any other way either, he just stays silent and lets people’s assumptions lie for him, but he can’t help the longing that claws up his throat when he locks eyes with a passing guy on campus. One time, he’d seen two men kiss on a bench in the city, and he’d run back to his dorm and had a panic attack. Why couldn’t he have that?

The feelings don’t stop, and he doesn’t know how to make them. He hates that he isn’t normal, but still longs for the touch of a man, the feeling of being wrapped up in strong arms, of being kissed by dry, chapped lips, and falling asleep to a heartbeat approximately 11% slower than that of a woman’s.

It’s a constant battle inside him, emotions raging, and he struggles to control it, suppress it, tame it.

He pays a sorry price.

Ethan makes him feel comfortable, and that turns out to be a detriment. He relaxes around the other boy: he tells him about growing up as a pre-teen in a high school, about how a child feels living 260 miles away from home, even about his mother’s illness.

And one day, it slips out. They’re on the beach, lying on towels as they look up at the blue sky, talking about what their futures will look like: Ethan will be a successful chemical engineer in Berlin, and Spencer will work for the FBI, profiling serial killers.

“You’ll have to marry a German girl,” he tells Ethan. “It’ll be tough to convince an American girl to move all the way to Germany as soon as you graduate.”

“Yeah, and what about you? You’ll be off fighting crime around the country, not much of a life for a family.”

“Oh, I imagine my husband will be the type to—”

“Husband?”

Spencer freezes. It shocks him as much as it shocks Ethan. He doesn’t even pay much attention to Ethan’s disgusted face and his outraged tirade. He hears slurs and insults, hears him say that he can’t believe Spencer tricked him like this, that he was probably waiting to make a move on him, that he was never to look in Ethan’s direction again, but Spencer is frozen in time.

He’s never allowed him to think much about what his personal life might look like in the future, but he’d said ‘husband’ on instinct, without thinking, and it’s clearly something he actually wants. Ethan’s words sting, but the moment brings about a realisation Spencer is thankful for; it instigates a journey of self-discovery and self-expression, of the joy of living as your true self.

He loses his first and only friend, but he gains something much more valuable. He visits gay bars — nervously sipping a non-alcoholic drink in the corner at first, before soon becoming confident enough to respond to the men who sidle up to him and ask for his name. He lets go and dances the night away, sometimes going home with one of the many dance partners he acquires during the night, sometimes heading back to his own dorm happily alone.

Makeup and dresses and skirts and heels make their way into his wardrobe, and he befriends girls and drag queens and other gay men who encourage him to be exactly the way he is. And the best part is, he never has to come out to any of them. All of them know, and that’s good enough for everyone.

The fun comes to a sad sort of slow, however, when he joins the BAU. Everyone knows law enforcement’s relationship with the LGBT community is less than adequate — Spencer’s seen it with his own eyes: butch lesbians and men in dresses getting roughed up by angry police officers for ‘lewd behaviour’ or ‘drunkenness’ when they’re just being themselves. It’s not safe for him to tell anyone, so he doesn’t.

He still goes out with his friends when he’s in town and wears makeup and dresses and crop tops when he’s at home, but presents as rigidly straight Dr Spencer Reid to his team at the BAU.

The hardest part about it is that he loves his team. He’s known Gideon for years — and he wouldn’t be surprised if he suspects something after coming over to his house unannounced one night, only to have a man other than Spencer open the door — but he settles into a comforting dynamic with Hotch. He can’t help but see him as something of a father figure, and he knows Hotch has a soft spot for him, always looking out for him and taking him under his wing without a moment’s hesitation.

Elle, JJ, and Penelope all take a shine to him, too, teasing him without a hint of malice in their tones, only the kind of playful kindness that reminds him of his mother. He forms a special bond with Penelope and they spend hours watching Doctor Who together and geeking out on all the areas their interests overlap, and the comfort he feels with her matches the comfort he’s found with his new group of queer friends.

(She doesn’t hold a candle to Ethan, he decides one night, after he’d cried at a movie she’d made him watch and she felt so bad she made him hot chocolate and jam toast and cuddled him until he felt better.)

Derek becomes a brother to him. He puts him in a headlock at least once a day — which Spencer has been reliably informed by multiple sources is a very brotherly thing to do — and teases him relentlessly, while simultaneously being fiercely protective of him. Enough so, that Spencer sometimes wonders if he even has Hotch beat in that department.

He loves his team and his team loves him. It should be simple. It is still 2003.

He comes in one morning late for a briefing, his shirt buttoned wrong and his hair is a mess, and he’s fairly sure that his attempt to cover the hickey at the base of his neck with concealer has been ultimately unsuccessful. It’s obvious why he’s late. Gideon is too engrossed in the case file to notice, but Hotch raises an eyebrow, an amused look on his face as everyone else immediately takes to teasing him.

“Who’s the lucky lady, pretty boy?”

Elle raises an eyebrow to match Derek’s shit-eating grin, “Someone definitely got some strange last night.”

“When do we get to meet her, Spence?” JJ asks, smirking as he takes a seat.

He’s bright red — as if he needed to look any more debauched — and Spencer tries to ignore the hurt that seizes his chest at the reminder of his need to stay quiet. This team respects him, and he can’t throw that away just because Spencer gets too comfortable.

God, he wishes Penelope was here.

“None of your business,” he mutters, trying to keep his tone light. He fails.

Naturally, Hotch notices and swiftly moves the briefing on, and Spencer keeps his gaze locked on the case file, not missing the absence of a reprimand from his superior. He’s constantly thankful for the older man, but in this moment, he wishes he could hug him.

(A voice that sounds dangerously close to Ethan’s rises up and taunts him in his ear: he wouldn’t want a dirty homo like you anywhere near him—)

Derek doesn’t let up on the case, continuing to bug him about the special lady in his life. He does concede that it could’ve been a one night stand, which is one front he’s right on, but a couple more concessions are necessary before Derek comes close to the truth of last night.

Eventually, Derek stops, and Spencer notes that the cessation of comments comes suspiciously close to the last time Derek and Hotch were alone together. He doesn’t have it in him to feel angry at Hotch for stepping in when he had it handled; doesn’t have the energy to act as though his pride is wounded, because really, neither of those things are true, and he doesn’t need to add another item to ‘Spencer Reid’s List of Things He Pretends to Be.’

The situation is forgotten, and time moves on.

Things change when he finds his first proper boyfriend. He doesn’t know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t the giddying rush of emotions it turns out to be, and Spencer spends his days smiling as he daydreams his time away.

His name is Oscar Wilkins, a History professor at Georgetown University, and Spencer falls quickly in love with him. Ever since their mutual friend had introduced them at a gay bar one evening, they’d spent all their free time together. He’s kind and gentle and understanding of Spencer’s hectic and unpredictable job, and he finally has the chance to experience everything he quietly and shamefully longed for as a teenager.

The only downside is the silent breaking of Spencer’s heart that the most important people in his life can’t meet his boyfriend. He longs to show Oscar off, to hold hands in front of his team, lean up to press a tender kiss to Oscar’s lips. He wants to put a framed picture of the two of them at the Washington Monument on his desk to remind him of why he needs to get through the hard days; he doesn’t want to have to sneak out of the hotel room he shares with Derek to whisper hushed, loving goodnights over the phone.

But he’s too scared. Too cowardly.

It’s different being who he is with his gay group of friends littered with wlws and drag queens and other gay and bisexual guys. They understand.

But Derek and Hotch are two extremely masculine, alpha men: Derek’s a ladies’ man and Hotch is married to a woman he met in college with a baby on the way and both have a strong and dominant energy that still sometimes manages to intimidate Spencer even after all these years. And Elle and JJ are lovely — some of his closest friends, really — but sometimes they remind him a little too much of the mean girls he went to high school with.

The hardest person to keep his secret from, though, is Penelope. She’s his best friend and he desperately wants to give her all of him, but he’s so scared. He’s lost a best friend to this secret before, and even though he’s certain she’d be fine with it, what if she accidentally let it slip to Derek? What if Hotch found out and didn’t see him in the same light anymore? What if the girls started teasing him? What if Gideon didn’t want to mentor him anymore?

The fear paralyses him. And it’s a cycle he doesn’t know how to break.

Fear, though, doesn't stop everyone from noticing his daydreaming, his dopey smile when he checks his messages, his urgency to get home where he would’ve stayed until the small hours of the morning before. As excellent as he is at hiding his sexuality, he’s fucking terrible at hiding the fact that he’s in love: it was easy enough to pretend he was straight, but hiding something this all-consuming is an impossible ask.

Derek comes over to perch on the edge of his desk one afternoon, sighing as he sits down. “Pretty boy, this is getting ridiculous,” he says, snatching Spencer’s attention away from his phone. “You’ve been grinning like an idiot for the last twenty minutes as you’ve texted Future Mrs Reid. When are we going to meet her?”

(He hates the new nickname the team has given his mystery significant other, although Oscar had found it hilarious. “It’s funny because when we get married, we’ll hardly be able to tell,” he’d argued through his laughter. “Neither of us will change our name because of our academic profiles, and we’ll both still be ‘Dr’. Our wedding rings will be the only indicator.”

Spencer hadn’t argued back, because he’d been too tongue-tied and flushed pink at Oscar’s use of ‘when’ in regards to their hypothetical nuptials. It was only made bearable by Oscar kissing him gently and tucking him under his arm, not embarrassing him any further as Spencer had sort of anticipated, warmth settling over his chest at the thought of their future together.)

“You won’t,” he replies, perhaps a little too curtly.

Derek starts at that, clearly not expecting it. He definitely should’ve tried to play it off as a joke. “What— should I be offended, pretty boy?”

You wouldn’t call me that if you knew who I really am.

“That’s up to you, Derek,” he says calmly, although he still can’t meet his eyes, “but you won’t meet the ‘Future Mrs Reid, so I think it would probably be best if you left it alone.”

“Damn,” Derek mutters under his breath, clearly pissed off and probably more hurt than Spencer ever intended. “Suit yourself.”

And with that, he gets up and leaves his desk. Spencer’s only solace is the text message he sees on his phone when he picks it back up: I love you so much. You know that, right?

The light-hearted ridicule comes to an abrupt halt after the incident with Derek, and it’s clear that he had been the biggest contributor to the teasing. He’s thankful that the jokes have stopped, but he wishes desperately that it didn’t come with the growing distance between him and his team. Loneliness takes the place of his previous irritated anxiety, and he isn’t sure what’s worse.

It all comes to a head at the end of a case in Michigan. They’re stuck in the lounge of the small inn they’d stayed in the last few days, a snowstorm having blocked them in and grounded the jet, although Gideon had long since retreated to his room. The fire’s going and they’re the only guests around, so it’s cosy enough, but Spencer can’t help but feel sick at the idea of another night away from home.

It’s only been two weeks since he’d snapped at Derek, but the chasm between him and the team is only widening with each passing day. He knows it’s not a case of ‘pick a side’, but the team’s morale relies on light-hearted banter and teasing, and him not being a part of that anymore has only brewed awkwardness. Everyone’s trying to give him space when space is the last thing he wants.

Oscar’s keeping him company over the phone at least, but it’s not quite enough to quell the loneliness swimming around his stomach, and the 'discrete' sideways looks he gets from the team only make him feel worse.

“At least it’s nice and toasty in here,” JJ sighs as she takes a sip of the hot chocolate the kindly inn owner had made for them all.

Elle hums in agreement. “There are worse places to be grounded.”

“I dunno, man, I just wanna get home,” Derek says, not taking his eyes off the fire. Spencer can’t help but agree.

“Oh, come on,” Hotch muses, considerably more jovial now the case is over, “we’re here, and that’s not going to change any time soon. We should make the most of it.”

“It’s at least nice to be somewhere sort-of Christmassy now it’s December,” Elle points out. “We could be stuck in a dingy police station like we probably will be next week.”

“Ooh, I noticed that Jemimah and Kiran started planning the Christmas party last week,” JJ says, smiling at them. “I offered my help, but they seem to have it covered.”

Hotch raises an eyebrow“That’s probably a good thing. You don’t need more work on your plate.”

“Not gonna argue with that,” she murmurs, smiling as she brings her mug to her lips again.

Spencer doesn’t miss that Derek is still stewing on the opposite side of the room.

“Are you looking forward to the Christmas party, Spencer? Will you come?” Hotch asks, clearly trying to rope him into the conversation, which he appreciates. He’s been making a lot of effort with him the past few weeks, and it’s just about the only thing that’s getting him through each day.

Before he can reply, though, Derek erupts from the other side of the room; an already pissed-off man being pushed over the edge. “He won’t even let us meet his fucking girlfriend, Hotch, he’s not gonna want to come to the Christmas party!” he yells, throwing his hands in the air as he glares at Spencer with a stormy expression raging across his face.

Suddenly, Spencer can’t stay silent anymore, and his retort shocks himself just as much as it does everyone else. “I don’t have a girlfriend!”

It might be the loudest he’s ever shouted in his whole life. He’s always been quiet and restrained, the type to state his feelings as calmly as possible no matter how he’s feeling on the inside. Even in the biggest fight he’s had with Oscar, his voice was barely loud enough to qualify as a shout.

There’s a brief stunned silence, but Derek quickly slices his way through it, voice raising to meet Spencer’s fiery emotion, fierce and loud. “Oh, don’t even go there, Reid, you’re really gonna try and argue that? You’re gonna lie about her as well as not let us meet her? What a boyfriend you are.”

“I don’t! I don’t have a girlfriend!” he repeats, voice catching this time as tears rise unbidden to the backs of his eyes and all the emotions of the journey he’s taken with his sexuality over the years flood him in a wave of intensity he’s not prepared for.

“You’re fucking lying—!”

“I have a boyfriend!” he yells. “Alright? I have a boyfriend. I’m gay.”

The anger and emotion quickly dissipates, and he’s left standing alone in front of the team he’s put so much effort into hiding this from, watching shock spell out across everyone’s expressions. He’s never felt smaller than he does in that moment, and he quickly grabs his phone before running upstairs to his room, locking the door behind him.

“Oh God, Oscar, I fucked up so bad,” he cries over the phone as soon as his boyfriend picks up.

“Hey, hey, breathe, baby,” Oscar says gently, but Spencer can hear the anxious concern in his voice, “it’s gonna be okay, I promise. I’m here. Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“I just— Oh God, I just told the team.” A new wave of horror rolls over him as he realises what he’s done. Times might be changing, but it’s still only 2006, and he doesn’t know each and every nuance of his team members’ political positions and, fuck, he hates that his existence is a fucking political position.

Oscar’s been so understanding of his reluctance to not tell the team, even though Spencer’s met pretty much everyone in his life. He isn’t sure what he’s done to earn such a gracious and understanding boyfriend, but he’s not about to question it.

“Baby, I know it’s scary, and I know you’re really worked up right now,” he counsels, voice soft and reassuring, using the nickname he knows Spencer loves the most to make him feel as safe as he can from 700 miles away, “but it’s probably not as bad as you think. From what you’ve told me about the team, they love you so much, and even in the case that in the past they've had some issue with gay people, I can't imagine they’d ever actually think of you any differently when it comes down to it, Spencer.”

He’s crying too hard to reply, and Oscar understands immediately, gently transitioning into a story about his day that slowly starts to calm him down, and by the time he’s wrapping it up, his tears are starting to subside.

“Thank you, Ozzy,” he whispers into the phone, lifting himself up off the floor and making his way to sit on the bed instead.

“You know I’d do anything for you, sweetheart,” he murmurs warmly. “Do you want me to stay on the phone for a bit?”

“Yes please,” he whispers again, holding it as close to himself as possible, drawing all the comfort he can from his boyfriend’s voice.

He lies there listening to Oscar’s voice and trying not to think about the disaster downstairs for a good ten minutes before there’s a tap at the door.

“Oz, there’s someone here,” he says, voice panicked.

“I think you should probably speak to them, baby,” he urges. “I’ll stay on the phone with you while you do, if you like?”

“Please.” He gets up from the bed gingerly, keeping his phone tightly gripped in his right hand as he slowly unlocks the door with his left, revealing Hotch on the other side.

“Hey, Spencer. Do you mind if I come in?”

He’s riddled with nerves, but Hotch is smiling warmly, and he’s never said a harsh word to Spencer, so he steps aside and lets him into his room.

Hotch quickly notices the phone in his hand, visibly still on a call. “Is that your boyfriend?”

Spencer nods.

“Do you mind if I talk to him?”

His brows knit in confusion and his lips part slightly in surprise, but it’s all he can do to hand the phone over, watching Hotch carefully.

“Hi, Spencer tells me this is his boyfriend?” Hotch inquires politely into the phone, his tone still warm. “I’m Hotch, Spencer’s boss.”

He can vaguely hear Oscar speaking on the other end of the line, and he worries slightly that Oscar will somehow give away the familial feelings he holds for Hotch, but the conversation doesn’t last long enough for the anxiety to really take over.

“Everything’s fine here, I just want to have a conversation with Spencer, so is it alright if we hang up and I talk to him alone for a minute? He can call you straight back afterwards.” After a brief pause in which Oscar says something, Hotch looks back up at him. “Are you okay with that, Spencer?”

He nods hesitantly, and Hotch says a quick goodbye to Oscar before surging forwards and wrapping Spencer in a hug. It catches him off guard, but he doesn’t waste any time in burying his face into Hotch’s neck and soaking in the comfort and warmth that always radiates from his father figure.

“Come on,” Hotch says softly as they pull away a good minute or so later, “let’s sit down, shall we?”

“You’re not mad?” Spencer can’t help but ask, the question burning his tongue as anxiety — however quietened from Hotch’s hug — still swims around in his stomach.

“There are many things that could make me mad, Spencer,” he says earnestly, “but this is not one of them. I would never be angry at you for being who you are, okay? I might… I might be overstepping here, and if I am, then tell me and I’ll back off, but I’ve always seen you as a mentee, and over the years that’s developed— well, I see you more as a son these days. And part of that is wanting to protect and support you no matter what you do or say or who you are.”

Spencer wastes no time in diving back in for a hug, clinging onto Hotch for dear life as he hugs back, rubbing his back gently.

“I’m so sorry you didn’t feel like you could tell us sooner, Spencer,” he says in a voice soft with affection and regret. “But I’m so glad you’ve told us now.”

He only presses closer at that, tears springing back to his eyes. “I didn’t want to lose you.” He knows what he’s implying, and even in a roundabout way, he’s glad he’s telling Hotch.

“Oh, Spence,” he sighs sadly, “you couldn’t do a single thing to lose me. I’m in it for the long haul.”

“Really?” he asks, hating how insecure he sounds.

“Really,” Hotch promises, pulling away as Spencer does. “Now, you have a whole team of agents downstairs who are feeling very sorry for themselves and really want to see you.”

Nausea rolls in his stomach and panic springs back up as he looks at Hotch, desperate for some sort of grounding. “Are they angry at me? Do they hate me now?”

“No one hates you, Spencer,” he says firmly. “I promise you that. Everyone just wishes that they’d made you feel more welcome and comfortable. We all hate that you felt you had to lock up something so integral to who you are, and we can’t help but feel we played a part in it.”

“No,” he protests — the last thing he wants is family blaming themselves when it has nothing to do with them, “it’s not your fault, it’s just…”

Hotch nods. “I understand, it’s okay. Now, do you want to go down and see them? You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but it might help ease your mind to see that they really don’t hate you.”

Spencer pauses, taking a moment to think. “Can I see Derek first?”

“Of course,” Hotch says understandingly, and the comforting smile that crosses his face makes Spencer feel safe and taken care of. “I’ll send him up?”

Spencer nods and Hotch hugs him once more before leaving the room almost reluctantly. He wastes no time in picking up his phone and sending a text to Oscar. You were right. Hotch is fine. He’s just sending Derek up before I go and see the team but he says that no one’s angry and I think I believe him. Thank you, Oscar. I love you.

Not even half a minute goes past before his phone lights up with a text back. I’m so glad, baby. Call me later, okay? I want to make sure you’re okay before I go to bed. I love you more.

Before Spencer can argue that actually, he is the one more in love with the other, a hesitant knock sounds on his door. Nerves suddenly flip his stomach, and he clenches and unclenches his fists a couple of times before forcing himself to cross the room, revealing a very worried and regretful-looking Derek.

“Oh, pretty boy,” he says sadly, before crushing Spencer in a warm and tender hug. Immediately, he relaxes into the arms of one of his best friends, and relief courses through his blood at Derek’s reaction. “I am so sorry that I ever made you feel like you couldn’t tell me that you were gay or had a boyfriend. That’s completely on me. I don’t care who you love, Spencer, I just want you to be happy, okay? And if this guy makes you happy, then that’s fine by me. But if he ever lays a hand on you or—”

“Derek, Derek,” he laughs, “it’s fine I get it. Thank you, though, I’m… I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you earlier and for snapping at you in the bullpen that time…”

“I understand, Spence,” he promises. “It’s in the past, okay? And I’m sorry for pushing so hard. I mean, I’d love to meet him but if you don’t feel comfortable or you don’t want to, that’s fine, too. It’s your life, man.”

“No, I… I think I want you guys to meet him. It’s been so hard to keep him away from the people I consider my family, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. Maybe after Christmas, we can all have dinner or something.”

Spencer smiles shyly. “Well, Oscar’s a great cook, so I reckon we could work something out.”

Derek grins, throwing an arm around his shoulders as he immediately jumps back into teasing him as they make their way to the door to go downstairs and see the rest of the team. “Ooh, lover boy’s got him a chef, hey? What else does this Oscar have going for him?”

Spencer chatters eagerly about his boyfriend to Derek, barely skipping a beat when he joins everyone downstairs, his friends taking his cues and joining in with the conversation seamlessly. He’s had enough fuss for one night, and the warmth and understanding on everyone’s faces tells him everything he needs to know.

“Do you have any pictures of him?” JJ asks, raising an eyebrow with eager expectancy as they all settle back into their seats by the fire, a warm and unbelievably happy feeling settling in Spencer’s stomach.

He blushes, digging out his phone from his pocket and unlocking it. “More than a few, I think.”

He finds the most recent picture of his boyfriend — a candid shot of him cooking in the kitchen, spatula aloft, and a huge grin on his face — and hands the phone around.

“Oh wow, you like them buff, huh, pretty boy?” Derek teases as soon as he gets his hands on it, and Spencer’s stomach twists in a sudden bout of fear, expecting to see some hesitancy or even disgust on his friend’s face. What if he thinks that Spencer has a crush on him? What if he’s uncomfortable around him now?

But if Derek’s having any of those thoughts, they don’t show on his face. He’s smiling widely and openly, all the pent-up anxiety and frustration borne from hurt gone from his body language, and he looks completely comfortable sat next to Spencer, his arm stretched out behind him on the back of the sofa.

They sit happily around the fire for a couple of hours, settling into a happy, intimate familiarity Spencer hadn’t realised was missing when he was hiding something so integral to his being from his family, and he’s still smiling when they finally part ways to head to bed, the clock ticking closer and closer to 1 am.

He gets ready for bed quickly, brushing his teeth and throwing on the top he’d stolen from Oscar the first time he’d stayed at his place; a welcome change from his worn and wrinkled suit. As soon as his teeth are brushed and the lights are all off except for his bedside lamp, he pulls out his phone, knowing there’s one more thing he has to do before he goes to sleep.

“Spencer?” Penelope’s voice sounds down the line, clearly concerned. “It’s almost 2 am here, are you okay?”

“I’m gay,” he says, getting straight to the point. The main reason he ever kept it from her was because of his fear of it accidentally getting out to the team rather than fear over her reaction. After all, multiple of his drag queen friends are also hers.

“Oh my God,” she says in that small voice she uses when she’s not actually talking to you, before finally actually replying to me. “Spencer, I’m so happy you told me!”

He doesn’t miss her choice of words, or the way she says them and he tilts his head suspiciously. “You already knew, didn’t you?”

She sighs. “Yeah. I’m sorry, a couple of months ago I saw a text from Oscar on your phone when you went to the bathroom during one of our Doctor Who marathons, and it wasn’t hard to figure out the relationship.”

“And… wait, you’re not mad at me for not telling you sooner?”

“Spencer! Of course not. I was waiting for you to be comfortable enough to share it with me. I felt awful that I knew without your consent but I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to catch you off guard or make you feel uncomfortable. It’s fine that you waited, baby genius, I’m just so happy you told me now. What finally gave you the courage?”

“Well, it might have slipped out in front of the team this evening,” he admits sheepishly, “and the only reason I never told you was because I was scared that it would slip out somehow — accidentally, of course, I didn’t think you’d tell anyone on purpose — and now everyone knows. It’s been killing me not to tell you, Penelope, it really has because I love you so much and you’re my best friend and I trust you with my life, it’s just…”

“Whoa, slow down, Spence,” she laughs fondly, “you don’t have to explain yourself to me, I understand. But I’m glad you finally told everyone and you can be yourself completely with us, now. We all love you no matter what, you know that right?”

“I do now.”

“Good. You should get some sleep, baby boy, it’s late and you’ve had an emotional evening.”

Spencer smiles. “Yeah, I know. You should, too, Pen. I’ll see you when we can finally make it home, okay? Love you.”

“Love you, too, 187,” she says softly, and Spencer can hear the smile in her voice. “Goodnight.”

As soon as he hangs up, he settles down into the bed, turning off the light and pulling the duvet up over his shoulders before dialling one more number.

“Hey, baby,” Oscar says, voice as gentle and caring as it always is, although thicker with tiredness now. “I take it everything went okay?”

“Yeah,” Spencer murmurs, already feeling tired as the safety he always feels at the sound of Oscar’s voice settles into the fibres of his being. “It went so well. I can’t wait for you to meet everyone.”

“I can’t wait either, sweetheart. Are you in bed now?”

“Yeah,” he sighs. “Can you talk to me as I fall asleep?”

“Anything for you, Spence,” he says softly, before transitioning seamlessly into a story about the professors on campus, and his gentle comfort and the knowledge of the unconditional love his family has for him finally lulls Spencer into the best sleep he’s had in weeks.

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alreadyblondenow · 4 years ago

Text

How old is too old?

Jung Jaehyun x reader // SMUT, SMUT, angst, fluff

Themes: OLDER JAEHYUN, YOUNGER READER, please I’m begging you don’t read my works if you’re not comfortable.

Word count: 5k

Summary: Jaehyun was your father’s best friend and life has it’s own twist of reuniting you again.

Warnings: OLDER JAEHYUN, YOUNGER READER, BOTH LEGAL AGE, sex, sex, sex, over stimulation, choking, slapping, dom Jaehyun, mentions of other idols, pairing of other idols, swearing, unprotected sex, rough sex, filthy sex, sad ending, Jaehyun is Johnny’s best friend, Johnny is your dad do the math. Mentions of alcohol, mentions of pregnancy, sad ending

A/N: I did this in one sitting. This is only a made up story and theres no way in hell that this is true. If something about the warning doesn’t sit well on you please don’t read. I would like to thank the anon who pointed out the sensitive topic. I already deleted some parts and edited the fic. Again thank you, and I will be better next time. For the first 200+ readers, I’m sorry if the fic was carrying something sensitive and I was clueless about it but after consulting with some of my fellow writers, I think the edited version of this fic is now safer. Thank you! And if the concept is still sensitive you can message me again I’ll be happy to delete it.

Have you ever seen someone so dreamy and handsome that he sparkles every time he’s around? Or whenever he’s around he just lights up the whole room with his smile. He’s like an angel or a saint that walks among us. Mr. Jaehyun or Mr. Jae, as you call him, is the epitome of that description.

Same birthday, different age.

Years later

“Good morning princess, happy birthday”

The sun is hitting your eyes and you put an arm on your head, not minding the person kissing your exposed thighs. Yuta has been your fuck buddy ever since the day you’ve been introduced to sex. He was your first at everything, but you two never had the guts to take your relationship to the next level. Nonetheless, you’re both still scared to lose each other.

“See you tonight?” you said weakly, admiring Yuta’s angelic features under the bright natural light that comes in your room perfectly.

“Definitely” he kissed your cheek and flopped on top of your naked body, “Don’t forget to clean up well, I came almost five times inside you last night,” he said before he kisses you one last time and leaves you to enjoy your morning.

On your way to the dining room, every one that crosses your path greets you good morning and happy birthday. You respond with a smile and ‘thank you’ as you continue to walk, everyone seems busy for the dinner party tonight.

On the long table, you found your mother and father having coffee and reading the newspapers. “Morning” you greet the before you sit.

“Happy Valentine's day” Johnny, your father, teases you as he folds the newspaper. You roll your eyes at him at let out a small laugh, “You’ll love my surprise for you tonight” he added, chewing his toast with strawberry jam on it.

“Another car? Oh, wait. Did you bought me a whole Chanel boutique already?” you tease your father, even though he perfectly knew you hate material gifts.

“Oh no. You’ll like this one” he smirks at you and stood up to give you a kiss on the forehead, “happy birthday, I’ll be back before dinner and before the guests arrived. Just have to handle a few things at the office”

“Why do I feel like you’re about to buy me a private plane” you tease him again and left you with your mother to enjoy breakfast together.

Living with fame and money all your life didn’t make you a spoiled daughter, or a big spender like your dad. You’re always about the simple things in life that give you genuine happiness, it’s always the people around you are showering you with expensive gifts that you’re grateful for but to be honest, you don’t need it. Family, career, and love. Those are the most important things in your life. But about love, you’re not sure yet.

During the family dinner, as usual, the house is packed with family, family friends, and some people at work. Champagnes everywhere, people chatting about business or whatnot, families catching up, and friends reuniting.

“Where is dad?” you asked your mother, Seulgi while you wait for both your father and Yuta to arrive. You’re not blowing your birthday candles without your dad.

As you chat with other people and enjoy your celebration, your ears rang when you heard people exclaiming that Johnny has arrived. You walked to the entrance to greet your father, and to your surprise… Jaehyun is with him. Handsome as ever as if those years of not seeing each other didn’t make him age.

“You remember Jaehyun right?” your father introduced you to Jaehyun like one of his business partners, but Jaehyun is more than that.

“Mr. Jae, you’re back- is he, the gift that you’ve been telling me?” the question was directed to Johnny but your eyes are glued to Jaehyun, shaking his hands still.

“You’ve grown so much!” Jaehyun knew it was wrong to scan your hot body but he couldn’t resist. He’s good at hiding it.

Seeing Jaehyun right before your eyes made you feel things that you are not supposed to be feeling. He’s not your uncle, you don’t share the same blood, he’s just one of your dad’s business partners. The lust that you felt the moment you saw him scan your body felt so wrong but good at the same time. How can Mr. Jae do this to you?

As the night became more and more interesting, you and Jaehyun spent hours and hours talking and catching up. You have completely forgotten about your other guests, you just want to talk to Jaehyun the whole night.

He hasn’t changed a bit, the only thing that changed in his life is his steady career. The business in Connecticut made him filthy rich because he put his whole life on managing it. He apologised for leaving you and not saying goodbye, “to be honest I’m happy I didn’t see you before I leave, I knew you would be sad and I couldn’t bear seeing you like that. How are you?”

“The same sweet girl that you left, Mr. Jae” you just flirted and you hope he will just shrug it off. “Managing my own business now, I could live alone already but I’m too attached with my parents-“

“Hey, princess” Yuta came out of nowhere and interrupt you mid-sentence. He kissed you on the cheek, enough to make Jaehyun think that he’s your boyfriend or someone who has your heart. “Didn’t get to spend some time with you tonight, but it’s fine. I left your present on top of your bed, I hope you like it”

Jaehyun was watching attentively the whole time you and Yuta were talking, and after Yuta left you noticed that Jaehyun was smirking while he drinks his wine. “Now, I’m perfectly convinced that you’ve grown. He’s not your fiancé or anything right?”

“No no.” you shook your head nervously, “Just someone, who can provide my sexual needs” you added confidently letting him know that, yes you’re an adult now.

The catching up with Jaehyun continues, but soon your birthday ends and everyone needed to go home. Jaehyun kissed you on the cheek and told you that he was so happy to be reunited with you again.

“Oh, Mr. Jae” you blurted out before he gets in his car, “Happy birthday”

Jaehyun smiled so sweetly, heart-pounding, ear turning red because he’s so happy that you remember. “Happy birthday to us”

Weeks after your birthday, you decided to live separately with your parents and move out of the mansion. Johnny was sad about it, but he clearly knows sooner or later he needed to let go of you. While you were putting your stuff and organizing some of your things, someone knocked at your door but you’re hands are full you couldn’t open the door for them. “Come in, it’s open. Sorry, my hands are full” You were inside your walk-in closet, putting your shoes inside boxes and you wonder who it might be.

“Thought I should say hi to you. Your father is busy taking important calls” Jaehyun explained.

For a moment, you and Jaehyun chatted and exchanged questions. He asked you what made you change your mind about living on your own, you asked what's his business with your dad lately. Both gave interesting answers until the room became silent as you go back to packing your stuff.

He watches you put your things on boxes, but your Victoria’s Secret satin sleepwear catches his attention. Those thin shorts that expose your butt cheeks whenever you bend over, thin sleeveless top that he oh so wanted to remove, the way your nipples ghost on your thin satin sexy top makes him want to pinch your nipples until you’re whimpering.

You don’t know what he needs, but you feel his breath on your nape. His presence is not easy to avoid when he’s directly behind you and awfully close. “Mr. Jae, do you need something else?” You clear your throat before reaching something but he stopped you from moving. He turned you around and his hands are quick to hold your ass, squeezing them gently with both hands, your body relaxes against his chest but your heart is pounding.

“Put your leg around my waist” it was a stern tone that made you follow without hesitation. He put you on the nearest wall and pinned you the there, his hands are busy removing your shorts and panties. Once you’re naked waist down, he unbuckles his belt and released his thick, veiny cock. The place was dead silent and you couldn’t talk because you can’t believe what’s happening. He kissed you on the cheek before pushing in halfway.

It hurt. But he didn’t care.

He pulls out again only to push right back in a little harder than before. You closed your eyes because it fucking hurts but it felt so good that you part your lips and rolled your head back.

After a few pleasurable thrusts that stretched your walls good, he stopped. The goal was not to have sex and had an amazing orgasm then and there. Jaehyun was testing the waters if you’re up to doing something stupid with him. His main goal for putting his cock inside you was not to give you an orgasm but to let you know that letting him fuck you someday will fucking feel good.

“If you want this to happen again, go to my place tonight. I’ll text you the address” he went down to get your shorts and panties on the floor and helped you wear it. He buckled his belt in front of you without taking his eyes off of you.

Jaehyun left you in your room with a confused mind. Questions over questions but you do know one thing, he will surely see you in his place tonight. And because of that, you finished putting your stuff and took a long bath on the tub. Making sure that every part of your body smells like lavender.

The thought of Jaehyun being your father’s best friend doesn’t sit well on you but the urge and the want of being fucked by Jaehyun lurks in your mind. What’s so wrong about having sex with Jaehyun anyway? Yes, he’s older but you’re an adult too.

As you drive to Jaehyun’s house for the first time, you try not to think about the people who will get mad if they know about this stupid thing that you’re about to do. Jaehyun’s house location is so far from the city, away from every chaos you could think of. As expected, his house is big and well guarded. But it feels cold and lonely.

“You live alone? Mr. Jae?” you asked when you got out of the car, Jaehyun welcoming you with a hug. He looks comfortable in his house clothes, slippers and all.

“Yes. My helpers come and go every weekend to clean the house. How was the drive?” He put an arm around your waist before he opens the door and enter his house, it was beautiful inside. A Chet Baker song was playing somewhere around the house, and it smells good. “I cooked dinner, I hope you’re starving”

You thought that once you stepped foot in his house, he will bring you straight to his room and have sex with you because it’s always like that with Yuta but you’re wrong. He made you dinner and the set up is kind of romantic. The food that he cooked is delicious it made you feel like you were eating somewhere expensive.

And just after dinner and two bottles of wine ago, you two catch up some more. You caught yourself laughing at his stories, giggling when he flirts with you, smiling whenever he looks at you deeply. Then it hit you, maybe he’s just shy to admit that he likes you and that his true purpose is to date you not just fuck you.

“What I did earlier is rather bold and wrong, I’m-“

“It’s okay, Mr. Jae. I’m here, it happened already” he smiled as you sip on your wine.

“Please, call me Jaehyun” he smiled back to you.

When the two of you grew tired of catching up already, finally he brought you to his room. He left you for a minute to lurk around and all you felt was loneliness. The room felt lonely, his entire house too and you’re not stupid to know why you’re here. It’s clear that Jaehyun is lonely in his life even though he has all the money in the world.

“Where are you?” you feel his lips on your neck. Maybe he noticed that you were spacing out. But again, Jaehyun is close to your body just like earlier and it brought you back to reality. You can feel the warmth of his body that you oh so crave, his soft lips that you want to kiss and taste. He turned your body around to face him and just like that he kissed you softly as if he just read your mind.

“Is it weird?” that an older man is kissing you right now?

“No. Not at all, do it again?” you confidently requested, and he happily did it again. Arms around Jaehyun’s neck, kissing each other like everything is right, your fingers go through his soft hair. Every moan that comes from your mouth goes straight to his cock making it twitch and want to be inside you.

He sat you down on the edge of his bed and went in between your legs, removing your laced panties slowly. Dress all wrinkled and just above your thighs, straps already fell off your shoulders making you looked ruined already.

“I can’t wait any longer,” he said while removing his pants together with his expensive underwear. What’s about to happen is, Jaehyun will fuck on the edge of his bed. He pushed inside you again for the second time today without foreplay, rolling hips slowly making you see how lustful he is.

He was so concentrated on fucking you, but he leaned down for a kiss and pull away again so he can see his cock go in and out of your pussy. Jaehyun’s deep grunts and moans are like music to your eyes while yours are like an achievement for him. Hearing you moan because of him feeds his pride and he loves it.

“That Nakamoto guy you’ve been having sex with didn’t fucked you enough” he informs you confidently with a sly smirk on his face. You were so sensitive by this time, both legs folded and clipped on the edge of the bed giving Jaehyun more access to your cunt, explore angles as he pleases. You wanted to close your legs so bad, but it feels so damn good you force yourself to keep your legs open for him.

“Spread your folds for me” you followed and you let him flick his thumb up and down your slit while he fucks you still, putting pressure on his finger and putting his whole cock inside you.

“Too much,” you said weakly, out of breath, gasping so hard.

“And that’s what makes it feel good, enjoy it.” by this time you don’t know what made you cum so hard, his sexy voice, his cock inside you, or his fingers. The orgasm Jaehyun gave wasn’t something Yuta can easily deliver and you hate that you’re comparing them with each other. You close your legs and shiver on the mattress, feeling your pussy tingle even tho Jaehyun pulled out already.

“Good?” he leaned down on you again and kissed your lips, your neck, your face while you two crawl up to the bed and lay comfortably with the pillows. The kiss was full of hunger and lust as if he’s not letting you rest even just for a minute after making you cum for the first time. It was so intense that you’re high isn’t going away and you can feel him line his cock again while he distracts you with his hungry kisses.

“Jaehyun, I need to breathe” he chuckles and gave your request. He used the time to remove his shirt and get you naked before positioning himself again in between your legs that you refuse to open, “Baby, don’t make me open those legs for you” it wasn’t a threat, but it made you scared even tho he was kissing your neck the whole time he was talking.

His beautiful body is on top of you as you slowly open your legs again for him, he tickled your sides and it made you giggle. “Y/n, relax why are you so tensed?” Jaehyun’s arms are perfectly wrapped around your body and it’s making you blush and shy because it’s such an intimate position, the kind of sex position married couples use.

“I’m not tensed, it’s just everything feels new and were so close-“

“Get used to it then” he proceeds to kiss your neck and make you calm using his lips, he was still embracing you and you doubt that he’s going to pull away any second. “Ready?” he asked, rolling his hips a little and you nod your head ‘yes’.

There’s that stinging stretch again because of Jaehyun’s cock that makes your mouth open and your eyes closed. Your embrace to Jaehyun tightens while he thrust in and out of you slowly, but not for long. His thrusts became hammering pounds, that your head hit his headboard already but no one cares, it feels good. “Harder Jae, harder” it was a breathy tone that Jaehyun loved.

You can’t believe that those hard and piercing thrusts can make you both cum in no time and as expected, Jaehyun is wild. “Jae” you call out his name but he chose not to listen.

Tears on your eyes started to fall because of the overstimulation but the man above you sill hasn’t stopped, deep inside you don’t want him either. Jaehyun was the kind of man who will not stop even though your cunt is overflowing with his cum, he overstimulated you, he overstimulated himself. And just like that you both cum again, moaning as loud as you can because you perfectly knew no one can hear you.

That night, you’ve been fucked far too many times in ways you’ve never been fucked before. Every round was more intense than the last one, you never felt so thankful to whoever invented birth control pills because you’re damn sure than Jaehyun can get you pregnant.

You don’t know how, but you somehow passed out and you woke up clean and covered with Jaehyun’s thick duvet. He wasn’t beside you, so you forced yourself to go up and wear his black shirt as cover to your naked body and went outside his room. The house was so big that you don’t know where to start finding him, good thing you found him sitting on one of his couches facing the lit pool outside with a glass of wine on his hand. Body still exposed but he’s wearing a clean Calvin Klein boxers briefs now.

“Why are you sitting so far away from me, come sit on my lap” the invitation made you smile and you walked slowly towards him and sat on his lap as requested. “I'm sorry that I had to drag you into this mess. I’m too old to find someone that will love me genuinely, that’s why I find people who can satisfy my sexual needs”

See, you’re right. He’s lonely. And he got the idea of making you a target for his needs because he knew about you and Yuta being fuck buddies during that time on your birthday. “Oh, so that gave you an idea, huh” you smirk, and raked his hair away from his face.

“Yeah. I'm sorry”

“No don’t be. Clearly, I loved everything that happened tonight the moment I stepped right in”

“How about your man friend, Nakamoto. Will he be okay about you fucking other people? Older people?” he took a sip on his wine, leaning comfortably on his expensive couch giving you a perfect view of his hot body.

“You may be old but you fuck like a horny teenager. Yuta doesn’t need to know” the conversation is getting serious.

“Good because, what we have, what happened should stay between us. It will ruin my career, my job, my friendship with Johnny, my relationship with you”

Ouch. That hurt you. “So you’re my second fuck buddy now?” how can you even think that he likes you and that what just happened in his bed was not just because he’s lonely. How can you think that he longs for you, need you? You scoffed and tried to get out of his lap but he’s quick to grab you and put his hands on your thighs.

“No no, I didn’t mean it that way. We’re together. We’re together as we can be, but we can’t go public until we found a solution. Okay? Don’t frown, please. My heart can’t bear to see you sad or disappointed”

“Okay, I’m sorry I overreacted”

“Let's sleep?” you nod your head with a smile and just like that he left his glass of wine on the table near the couch and carried you back effortlessly in his room. You will never forget this moment that you two slept in one bed. Back against his chest, arms around your waist, the air that comes out from his nose hits your nape perfectly like a reminder that he’s close to you.

Days went on and on like this until it turned into weeks then months. Jaehyun didn’t feel lonely in his house big house anymore, and your life is complete now because you found love. He helped you designed your apartment but you never stayed there because you live in Jaehyun’s now with him.

You and Jaehyun go on to dates like a normal couple but with utmost caution. Spending beautiful nights under the stars, celebrating holidays together, going on vacation. You and Jaehyun plan a lot for the future, and it makes you happy because you have something to look forward to.

As you live with Jaehyun, you became the woman of the house who managed everything even the expenses. Everything was transparent between you and Jaehyun, ‘what’s mine is yours’ as he described it. It was like a trial to married life with Jaehyun, and you’re loving it so far. A perfect love story and no one is reckless enough so not a single soul suspects your relationship.

“My business partners are giving me a headache” he complains as soon he enters your shared room and kissed you. He smelled like car air freshener and he looked like he had a rough day.

You continue reading your book and reply to some of your clients through email on the side while you wait for Jaehyun to come to bed with you. Focused and unbothered, you didn’t feel him kiss your legs as he crawls on the bed shirtless and only wearing hid pajamas.

“Can we have sex? Make my day better please” he asks so sweetly in between kissing you on your neck, your book is long forgotten.

“Thought you were tired?” you caressed his flawless back, feeling his back muscles on your hand, he only shook his head and kissed you down until you reach the fluffy pillows. Swiftly he unbuttons your sleepwear, revealing your boobs that he soon attacked with kisses and love bites. You managed to get him naked and he managed to remove your thin shorts and underwear.

He checked your slit and you were a little dry, so he went down between your legs and spit on your cunt. Filthy but hot. Whenever you have sex with your boyfriend, his cock still stretches your cunt like he’s getting bigger and bigger each day. You never get used to is. You let out a soft ‘ouch’ and Jaehyun heard it, “Yes that’s right. Hurt for me baby”

“I’m not tight you’re fucking big Jae. You’re not even hard enough and yet-fuck!” he interrupted you with a piercing thrust mid-sentence. “Why do you always do that” you whine, he just smirked and continue fucking you wild.

Whenever Jaehyun is stressed like this the sex is always rough and wild, and you love it. He pulls away from kissing your swollen boobs and put a hand around your neck choking you well. His other hand is intertwined yours so whenever it’s too much you can always tell him to stop. But it was never too much for you. The overstimulation, yes. But his roughness, never. “Harder,” you request in between short breaths.

You smiled at him before you cum, eyes rolling back as usual. He pulls out slapped your cunt while you’re still sensitive and shivering, enjoying the view of his beloved girlfriend whimpering on the bed. “Why is fucking you one time is always not enough. We always have to go for a few more rounds. I’m so in love with you” He grabs both of your hands and put it around his neck, “Keep me close Y/n, I love you” he said before going inside you again to fuck you a little bit softer, gentler, and slower.

Having slow sex with Jaehyun is as good as having rough sex with him. “Does it still hurt? I’m sorry” but he still thrusts and puts his entire cock inside you making a bulge on your stomach.

“Fuck I forgot, pull out when you cum okay? I forgot to take my pill this week. Sorry” it was something that didn’t scare Jaehyun. Having kids with you is something he dreamed of happening and he’s ready for it.

“I want to have kids with you” he sounded serious but you’re not on the right mind right now to tell him your answer. You want it too, but you’re not yet ready. You still have so much to unlock in your life. If he pulls out, that will give you relief. But if he doesn't, well, you can just hope that you won’t get pregnant.

After a few thrust,

He pulled out.

What a relief.

That night, Jaehyun stayed in bed a little late just looking at your beautiful face under the nice moonlight shining through his window. He will ask you to marry him and live a normal life, he will face Johnny and handle the situation in his own hands. He will do everything in his power to give you a happy life without hiding from the people who will judge your relationship.

The next day, you woke him up with loving kisses just how he wants it. Jaehyun lived almost half of his life waking up alone in a cold bed, but now that you’re part of his life, he gets to enjoy waking up from your kisses and waking up with a dimpled smile.

“Good morning, you’re up early,” he said groggily but with a smile.

“See you tonight at the party? I have to leave early and take care of some stuff at the office”

He nods his head and forced himself to sit up and give a kiss. A little longer than you expected, but always sweeter than yesterday’s kiss. “I love you. Find me later okay?” you nod your head ‘yes’ and kissed some more.

The annual business party that your dad threw for his company is a big event for him, nonetheless, it’s not stressful just full of people wearing tuxedos, gentlemen with their wives, your dad’s business partners together with their secretaries.

Wearing a beautiful Valentino dress, you walk to the entrance with Yuta hoping that your boyfriend will not get mad because this was just a last-minute thing. Yuta came out of nowhere before you enter the party, and you didn’t want to shoo him away because it will hurt his feelings. After all, you two had a history.

Seated on the same table, you and Yuta, your father and mother, Jaehyun, and his date Yeri. As part of hiding, you and Jaehyun didn’t talk too much but he did tell you you’re beautiful in front of your father and complimented the necklace that you’re wearing which he gave you. Seeing Yeri near your boyfriend hurt you like you two just broken up. Like you and Yuta, Jaehyun and Yeri had a history because they’re ex-lovers.

“Come dance with me” Yuta being the music lover that he is dragged you into the dance floor and made you dance with him. You feel Jaehyun’s eyes follow you even though you were busy dancing under the upbeat music and having fun with Yuta on the dance floor together with the other guests.

Jaehyun on the other hand invited Johnny to smoke tobacco with him. Men with tobaccos stayed in a room where they can play poker peacefully and talk more about business. This is the perfect time Jaehyun thought. The perfect time to tell Johnny about his relationship with you. Seeing you with Yuta was like the push he has been waiting for and now, he’s going to do it.

“Johnny, I love your daughter” he blurted out, holding his tobacco with his right hand.

Johnny chuckled and shook his head in disbelief, “I know right. Crazy how she was just a little girl, felt like only yesterday. Can’t believe she’s running her own business right now and being successful” he smiled, taking a hit on his tobacco.

“That’s all true, but that’s not what I meant” the atmosphere was quiet even though Jaehyun and Johnny are away from the other men. “Were in love Johnny. We’ve been together for ten beautiful months now”

Johnny was speechless and he wanted to punch Jaehyun on the face right then and there, but this is his party. He can’t cause a scene. Johnny is a powerful man, he can ruin anyone and he’s well aware of that. So instead of causing a scene, he fixed his rings and told Jaehyun that, “You’re a well-established businessman Jaehyun. I think you don’t need me anymore as a partner and… best friend. Stay away from my daughter” he pats Jaehyun on the shoulder and made his way back to the party again to find you.

“Can I dance with my daughter, Yuta?” your father smiled at you and took you dancing. You saw Jaehyun sit beside Yeri, smiling so beautifully and making each other smile. “Oh look at my best friend, I’m happy they got back together” it was a lie that Johnny had to made up to ruin your relationship with Jaehyun and also his way to find out if Jaehyun is telling the truth.

Johnny saw the sadness in your eyes, that’s when he confirmed it. “How about you? Yuta looks like a fine man who’s been around. Give him a shot? After all, The Suh and Nakamoto company looks good merging” it was clear that he was suggesting you to marry Yuta someday because of business and you hate it. But you smile and joked nonetheless.

“Arranging me for marriage dad?”

“Psh. No. I’m just showing you a choice. Yuta is a good person, comes from a good family, and-“

“And I’m not in love with him” your dad knew he had to shut up.

You thought that the party will not stress you out and you will have a great time but the opposite happened. Now, you just hope that Jaehyun will turn everything around remove the stress away. But no. He was silent when you got home and didn’t welcome you with kisses that you oh so crave by this time. You went separately, of course, he was the first one who got home but he’s still wearing the same clothes he wore from the party when you found him in the living room drinking hard liquor.

The dress is beautiful, but you wanted to get out of it because it reminds you what your father just told you about marrying Yuta. Soon, Jaehyun joined you in your shared walk-in closet but he’s still silent.

“You didn’t tell me you were going with Yuta. Baby, I was hurt. I wanted to dance with you so bad but-“

“You should’ve danced with Yeri” you blurted out. “She was beautiful Jae, you just let her sit in the table all night. Did you even offered to take her home?”

“Why would I do that, we're together” he watches you unzip the beautiful dress and expose yourself in front of him with only the lingerie that you’re wearing. “Okay sorry I was overreacting” he leans on the door, shoulders crossed, and his bow tie is already undone. “But I told Johnny about us earlier”

You were speechless and disappointed, you scoffed and you can’t believe he did that. “Well you look disappointed” Jaehyun was hurt, he thought you would be happy that he finally had the guts to man up and tell your father the truth.

“I am! Because you decided all by yourself. You didn’t talk about this with me. No wonder my father was acting weird”

“What, do you want to hide forever Y/n? I’m doing this for us. Don't you want to get married and have kids someday?” by this time both of your tones towards each other were a little higher than usual.

“I know your intentions Jae, but it's not yet the right time. I want to have a family and kids with you but not now. I’m just starting to build my life. Come on Jae, you sound like you’re proposing to me now“ you still sound disappointed.

He thought that getting married will make you happy, but now it’s clear to him that he’s wrong. “Maybe I am”

“Well, then I have to say no for now” that was like a bullet straight to his heart. It was like saying ‘Jaehyun, I can’t marry you because you’re too old. Wait for me to get older, then we’ll talk about marriage’ He ignored what you said.

“Wha did johnny told you?” his eyes were cold, there’s no sign of spark in it.

“He said you were back with, Yeri” you were removing your makeup at the bathroom with only your robe covering your naked body.

“That’s bullshit, my own best friend” Jaehyun sounded irritated you can here drawers closing loudly because clearly, he’s not happy that Johnny bad mouthed him in front of you.

“I know its not true, Jae. He was just saying that because he’s concerned and I don’t know, protecting me?”

“Huh? Protecting you from what Y/n? Were together for almost a year now tell me, am I treating you bad? Can you say that you’re in bad hands?” it was not a question. You knew so you didn’t answer.

This is your first fight with Jaehyun and this is the first night that you shared the bed without facing each other. Tonight he lost his best friend, and he can't afford to lose you too. But he was stern. He still wants to make your relationship public and be engaged soon. He not forcing it but you know he wants it real bad.

If last night you fought for the first time, this morning Jaehyun didn’t feel your kisses woke him up for the first time since you two were together. That simple gesture makes Jaehyun happy first thing in the morning and now that you didn’t do it for the first time, it felt like you’re going to leave him soon.

The same argument went on for days, even you don’t know how to fix this problem but still, life goes on. Jaehyun tried having makeup sex with you but you just let him fuck you and it never fixes things. He was so desperate and he was trying so hard to bring back everything but it was not easy. All he ever wanted was to make you stay in his life. But looks like the relationship is ruined.

Finally, he realized a sad truth. Sooner or later he has to let go of you even though he loves you wholeheartedly. When Jaehyun first mentioned the breakup you were furious and mad, “I’m like this Jaehyun because I don’t know how to fix it but I never wanted to break up! But you! How dare you to even make it an option!” of course you didn’t want to break up with the man you love, being not on the same page for now in the relationship is not enough reason to just throw everything away.

“I can’t give you the life that you want Y/n, we continuously hurt each other every day I can’t hurt you furthermore. We can’t be together anymore” he was so calm and you can’t understand how does he do that.

The perfect love story you thought is now ending with tragedy. How can loving Jaehyun become so wrong? But he was right, sooner or later reality will slap you hard and the truth will not be on your side. Loving Jaehyun was something you will never regret doing, but it was wrong because he was your father’s best friend, you two can’t seem to find your way back to each other now.

As you finally agreed to the breakup, moving out of Jaehyun’s house was a fucking torture. You see to it that you get all your stuff during his working hours so he could enjoy the heartbreak that he singlehandedly decided for the both of you. It was a great relationship that deserved a peaceful breakup.

Jaehyun went home on an empty house and it broke his heart to million pieces. Pictures of you and him scattered around the house and letting go of you is life-changing for him in a bad way. Together with the happy memories that you left in his house is the necklace that he gave and every cute note he gave to you whenever he needed to leave the house before you can even wake up. It’s as if you wanted everything to stay in his house, keep everything hidden like it always has, like you and Jaehyun never happened in the first place.

Jaehyun married Yeri a year after your breakup and the news broke you. Deep inside you were still clinging to the chance of getting back with Jaehyun and turn everything around but you’re wrong. No one knew about your relationship except Johnny. That’s good. You don’t need to explain yourself to people.

As years went by, you decided to build your life with Yuta and love him fiercely without worries, without hiding, you told him about Jaehyun and he didn’t judge you not even a bit. The wedding made the news of two companies merging, and the whole country celebrated.

Years after your wedding, you were at the record store buying lullabies for babies so you can listen to it and hope that your daughter can hear it. You’re seven months pregnant with Yuta’s baby and you’re excited to be a mother.

“Y/n?” a familiar voice called your name and you’re too scared to turn your back and face him but you don’t have a choice.

And you’re right. You haven’t seen him since the breakup and he was like a ghost to you now. He hasn’t changed a bit. After four years, you’re now in front of Jung Jaehyun with a baby on your belly and a wedding ring on your finger.

#nct-writers #nct smut #nct angst #nct jung jaehyun smut #jaehyun smut #nct x reader #jaehyun angst #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct 127 smut #jaehyun x reader smut

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maddiwrites · 4 years ago

Text

Secret Lives

Pairing: JJ Maybank x reader

Summary: You and JJ never got along so your friends trap the two of you on a boat in the middle of the marsh to work it out. Only it doesn’t go as planned.

Note: Hi guys! This is my first writing piece. I tried not to do a two parter for my first one but it ended up being so long. Sorry! I would love to hear your feedback so feel free to leave me a message! Part two will be posted soon. Also I have completed a rewrite of the show with a JJ x Routledge sister pairing so keep an eye out for that! Also wanna shout out @skiesofthesketchy @malfoyfarms @collecting-stories because they were some of the first masterlists I read and I loved them and it inspired me to write my own. So thank you!

Word Count: 5.3k

Warnings: Language, angst, very slight mentions of abuse

Part 2

Y/N Y/L/N. That’s you. Or as some like to call you, Hannah Montana. You live the best of both worlds, living it up on Figure Eight and wearing hundred dollar dresses to fancy dinners and parties, sneaking expensive mimosas to brunches with your friends, and getting biweekly mani pedi’s with your sister. Meanwhile, when you’re not rolling around in the luxuries of Kook Life, you’re rolling around in the dirt with your Pogue friends, baking in the sun on a dirty small boat while drinking the cheapest beer one of the boys’ could get their hands on. Most Kooks hated you even when they wanted to be you. And most Pogues didn’t trust you even as they tried getting in your pants.

One of them being JJ Maybank.

Kiara introduced you to her group of friends right after freshman year. The two of you were the black sheep of Kook Academy. Both your families have money, sure. But you weren’t jerks about it. You enjoy a little pampering here and there, but you’re not tone deaf and superficial like the rest of your peers. You were so grateful that your science teacher paired you two together for that year’s science fair. You instantly clicked with the curly brunette and spent most of the class talking about whatever came to mind instead of actually brainstorming project ideas. After working together for months on a science fair project with a shared passion of wanting to help save the environment, Kie finally introduced you to her best friends.

John B and Pope immediately made you feel like one of the group. Sure, they were curious about your life but you never felt like you were being interrogated with questions. They included you on inside jokes and even gave you the nickname ‘Sassy’ after proving to them that you can hold your own in a verbal fight.

Thanks to JJ.

From the start he claimed to never like you. He hated where you were from, who your parents were, and that you never had a job. He hated that you didn’t even have to try to get people to like you. In his eyes, everything was handed to you on silver platter. You had a picture perfect life and all you had to do was bat your eyelashes and show off your pearly white teeth. He couldn’t stand you.

Yet, he was dangerously attracted to you.

He loved the way your hair shined against the setting sun, he loved that you didn’t wear makeup every single day like every other Kook on the island, he loved how your white jean shorts perfectly shaped your curves, and he loved how your temper was as equally as short as his because it made you fighting with him that much hotter.

Last night was no different than every other night with you and your friends. It was quiet, spent around a bonfire in John B’s back yard. You sipped on cheap beer from the can while the smell of JJ’s marijuana smoke wafted through the air. Kie lightly strummed the strings of her ukulele while Pope and JJ bickered about the pros and cons of smoking weed.

This was your family. You had friends on the other side of the island too but you weren’t as close as you were with the Pogues. You would do anything for the people surrounding you. Even JJ. You tried to tell yourself you hated him just as much as he hated you, but you couldn’t help but feel like every other girl on this island, falling for his ocean blue eyes and golden locks. His wit and his charm. His loyalty and protectiveness of his friends. How he looked with his shirt off. How he would wink at you when he caught you staring. You wished you didn’t, but you loved him.

“Hellooo, Y/N?” John B waved his hand in front of your face. You hadn’t even realized you’d been staring.

“I’m sorry. What were you saying?”

John B smirked but didn’t say what he was thinking. He always thought you and JJ were acting dumb when it was clear as day that the two of you were attracted to each other. He always caught you two staring at one another when the other wasn’t looking. You two would always ask about the other person when they weren’t there even if it was just to throw a sharp jab behind their back.

“I asked you what you were up to this weekend.”

“Oh,” You shrugged. “Probably run some errands, babysit my neighbor’s kids...”

Just like Hannah Montana, you also lived a secret life. Your life wasn’t as perfect as everyone thought it was, but you’d never admit to it. Your mother would be crushed, your friends would find you stupid and pathetic, and you would hate yourself even more than you already did.

“Good. Sunday we’re going to check out the surfing competition on Seasill Beach. JJ’s trying to qualify for it next year.”

Your smile immediately dropped. “Sunday. Oh.”

“Already got a spa day planned, Princess?” JJ smirked from across the way.

“I, uh,” You tried your best to fake a grin. “I’m sorry. I can’t go. I already have plans.”

You held you breath as you waited for someone to respond. This was the third time this month you flaked on your friends without a good explanation. You never knew what to tell them, only that you had plans. You were afraid if you said anything else, they’d find out you were lying.

“Again?” Kie stopped playing her ukulele to look at you. “Seriously. Is there some secret boy we should know about or something?”

You scoffed. “No.”

You felt the most guilty lying to Kie. After all she was your best friend. The one you were supposed to be able to share everything with, even the stuff you couldn’t tell your parents.

“Kie’s right. You bailed on us last week last minute too,” Pope said.

You opened your mouth to say something, but your head wasn’t working fast enough to come up with a lie.

“We all knew this day would come.” JJ’s smirk was gone. He flicked the butt of his joint into the fire and claps off the ash from his hands. “Hannah Montana dips her toes into the wild life. She feels free and independent long enough to decide she’d rather go back to her cookie cutter life and live with all the privilege that daddy has to offer.”

The word ‘daddy’ physically made you flinch. Your eyes narrowed in a tight glare as you dug your fingernails into the palm of your hand, hating that this was the way JJ thought of you.

“J...” John B tried to warn him but JJ didn’t listen.

“No, seriously.” JJ stood up. “I bet the reason she’s not telling us what all her ‘plans’ are is because she knows you’ll all be disappointed. Me? Well, I couldn’t care less whether you hung out with us or not. In fact, I’ve been praying for it. So tell us, Y/N, what are you doing that you won’t tell us? If it’s not some dude, then maybe you decided you’d rather be a Kook. Are you going to fancy lunches and riding yachts across the ocean? Maybe you’re spitting in the faces of the people who work to make your life easier. Maybe -”

“JJ!” Kie yelled.

You stood up, your vision turning red and your skin going hot. Usually you could take JJ’s insults. You were use to JJ throwing your family’s money in your face, trying to make you feel bad for something you can’t control, but this was too much. Because now he was calling you out on your loyalty to your friends. And he was so far from the truth.

“You would like that, wouldn’t you?” You said. The other three stood up when you took a step in JJ’s direction. John B stood close to you. He didn’t know what you were going to do, but he’s never heard your voice so low and threatening in a long time. The other time was with a Kook who was giving JJ shit. Ironically. “For me to just leave.”

“I didn’t stutter, did I?”

“Well I hate to break it to you, but I’m not going anywhere. In fact, because I’m such a nice friends, I’m going to give you some free advice. First, the last thing you want to question me about is my loyalty to the people who’s lives I would put before my own. Second, I would suggest removing that stick up your ass because it seems like your way too uptight to handle it.”

JJ glared at you and didn’t move to respond. A part of you was surprised he didn’t have anything to come back with and the other part of you was relieved.

The thick tension between you and your friends was suffocating. Your night had been effectively ruined by a simple question. But the sad part is, you didn’t even know who to blame. JJ, or the other man causing most of your guilt and grief.

“Y/N/N...” Kie tried stopping you as you gathered your stuff to leave.

“I’m out of here.”

You stormed out of the backyard and into your car. There was only so much you could take until you broke. And you were not going to give JJ Maybank the satisfaction of seeing you break.

***********************

You couldn’t fall asleep last night. JJ’s words kept replaying in your head like a bad song stuck on replay. You wanted to hate him. You wanted to blame him for not trusting you. But instead, you hated yourself. Because you’re the reason he can’t trust you. Cause you have secrets you don’t want shared.

Your thumb hovered over his contact. Not JJ’s. The man who’s made your life a living hell for the last sixteen years. You wanted to scream and cry and slap him in his face. But instead, you stayed frozen in fear. Like the little pathetic girl he says you are. And you hated yourself more for proving him right.

Your attention was taken away when someone busted through your bedroom door out of breath. Kie immediately went to your drawers and pulled out the first bathing suit she could find and threw it at you.

“Kie -”

“We need to go,” She said. “Get dressed.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“Pope and John B ran out of gas doing grocery runs for Heyward. We need to get them with the HMS Pogue.”

“Where’s JJ? Why can’t he help you?”

“He’s working,” Kie said quickly. “Come on.”

***********************

You and Kie found Heyward’s boat stranded in the middle of the marsh like Kie said it would be. John B and Pope were waiting for you on the back and thanking you both for coming to help. You hold the gas as they helped you onto the boat. They directed you to the tank while they helped Kie.

As soon as you made your way to the front of the boat, you heard the engine of the Pogue rev and take off. You dropped the gasoline gallon and sprinted to the back of the boat where they left you. John B and Pope waved back to you as Kie drove them back to the Chataeu.

“What the hell?” You yelled at them to come back.

“You and JJ need to work your shit out!” John B yelled back to you.

“What...” You mumbled to yourself before you heard the sound of heavy footsteps running towards you. You gasp in surprise when a sweaty JJ passed you to glare at the boat that’s getting smaller and smaller by the second.

“What the fuck?” He screamed.

“There’s food and blankets in the cabin!” Pope yelled back.

“We’ll come get you in the morning,” Kie said.

You clenched your teeth together with frustration. JJ looked just as pissed off and small part of you was disappointed with that. He turned around, cursing to himself and hitting random shit in his way.

This was going to be a long day.

***********************

After four hours, you and JJ still hadn’t spoken to each other. He took over the cabin while you laid out on the back of the boat. Your head was running with different thoughts. Should you try to make up with JJ? Should you just continue to ignore him? Should you tell him why you can’t go to the surfing competition tomorrow?

You didn’t know what to do but you knew you couldn’t sit here in silence anymore.

You reluctantly stood in front of him with crossed arms. He was smoking a blunt and looking out into the setting sun. If you were friends, you would take a picture of him right now. The pink sky painted his skin perfectly.

“What?” He said without looking at you.

“Seriously?” You raised one brow. “We’re asked to do one thing on this boat and that’s all you have to say?”

“I’m not sorry for what I said last night.”

“Neither am I.”

“Fine.”

You rolled your eyes. The problem with both of you was that you’re both stubborn. But if the problem with JJ couldn’t be fixed today, you didn’t know how much longer you would be able to put up with his rude remarks and assumptions about you.

“What the hell is your problem?” You said.

“My problem?”

“Yeah. Your problem. You’ve been treating me like shit ever since Kie introduced me to you. What could I have possibly done to make you hate me so goddamn much?”

JJ shook his head in annoyance. “I’m not doing this.”

He got up and walked to the back of the boat where you were sulking not even five minutes ago. You followed him like the stubborn person you were and you continued to grill him.

“I’ve tried so hard to be your friend. I’ve bought you drugs, I’ve even done yours and JB’s laundry. I put in a good word to the tourons who ask about you at boneyard parties. I laugh at your jokes, even when they’re about my friends. I try so hard to be on your good side and you still want nothing to do with me!”

“Because you’re a Kook!”

“So?”

“You have everything. Money, family, friends, a future. I don’t trust you because I don’t know what the hell you want with us. What do we possibly have that you can’t get on Figure Eight? Hm? Are you trying to prove a point to your mom that you don’t need her? You trying to prove to your dad that you’re a tough girl and don’t need his money or protection to keep you safe? Huh?”

“You know what your problem is? You don’t listen! I’ve told you time and time again that I don’t care about any of those things. I hang out with you guys because you are my friends. I have a good time when I’m with you. Why is that so hard for you to get?”

JJ scoffed. “Please. You don’t think I see you constantly checking your cell phone? Making sure no one can see who you’re texting? If we’re such good friends, why won’t you tell us what you’re doing tomorrow? You always have ‘other plans’ and then you never tell us what they are.”

“Because that’s none of your business!”

“If my friends are going to get hurt because of some lying bitch then it is my business!”

You were breathing so heavily, you were basically panting. Your blood felt like it was boiling under your skin and your head felt fuzzy with lack of thoughts. You didn’t know what to say, truly lost for words.

JJ took another step closer to you. You’re so close to him, you can feel his breath on your face and see every mark on his skin. You never knew he had a scar right above his brow or a freckle under his ear. He smelled like weed and sun sunscreen and his breath like mint. Had you not been fired up with rage, you would have thought he looked hot and maybe even made a move.

But now it was the last thing you wanted to do.

“I’m sick and tired of you spoiled brats getting everything you want. You’re nothing but a spoiled rich kid who doesn’t even know the kind of privilege she has if it hit her in the face. You can’t relate to anything we have to go through. You don’t have to get dirt underneath your fingernails to make a buck. You don’t have to wonder where your next meal is coming from. You wouldn’t last a week on the Cut because you’ve never known what it’s been like to live the life we do!”

“You don’t know anything about me!” You snapped. The heart in your chest felt like it was being shredded to pieces by a rapid wolf. You felt like you were being torn apart one by one with each insult he threw in your face. Little did he know, he was wrong.

“I know enough to never want to see you again. I will never accept you into our group of friends. Don’t you get that? So you can stop playing the nice girl act around me and go back to Sarah Cameron and the other Kooks that you still hang out with despite knowing everything they’ve done to us. To Kie!”

Bringing up the fight between Kie and Sarah was a low blow and JJ knew it. It was something you always struggled with because you continued to be friends with both of them separately. At first, they were both mad at you but then accepted your friendship when they came around to loving the idea that you would fight for both of them. You tried getting them to talk and make up, but both of them refused. Maybe you should just stick them on a boat in the middle of nowhere and force them to work it out.

Although, clearly your experience with it wasn’t going so well.

“That’s not fair.”

“Yeah, well life’s not fair sweet heart. But you wouldn’t know about that.”

You thought the fight last night was bad. But this one took the icing off the cake. You wished so desperately that Kie had just trapped you both in a locked room, so at least you had the chance to break out and run away from the darkness that was clouding around you.

You were most upset that this was how JJ thought of you. You didn’t know if you would have the same devastating reaction if someone else had said these things to you. You wanted so badly to be friends with the blonde Pogue. You saw the way he interacted with his friends and you wanted to be a part of that small circle so badly, you would almost do anything to be in it.

But you didn’t think you could last another second of being belittled and tormented with JJ’s outspoken feelings towards you. You wished there was a rewind button so you could go back to bed and hopefully never wake up and you’d lock your door so Kie couldn’t break in.

You swallowed back the tears that threatened to fall and admit your defeat. You wanted to find the nearest corner and crawl into it and escape the murderous glare of JJ Maybank. JJ was wrong. You didn’t have everything. Because in this moment, you still wanted him. And you were just realizing that you never will.

“You judge me by the surface. You’ve never once tried to get to know me. You don’t ask. You just assume that I’m like every other kid on Figure Eight. You don’t know where I’ve came from. What I’ve been through. What I live with. You don’t know my plans for the future or my hobbies or even my favorite color because you didn’t ask!” Adrenaline pushes through your veins like a wave of energy. You’ve never felt so powerful but so small in your life.

“All right. So tell me,” JJ said. “Tell me whatever story you can think of that will change my mind about you.”

You paused, standing there face to face with someone who will never accept you. You were suddenly overcome with so many emotions you didn’t know which one to choose from. Anger, sorrow, fear, confusion, shame.

You couldn’t believe you even thought about telling JJ your story. A story that you haven’t even told Kie. The story about how you were actually born and raised on the far end of the south side. How your dad use to abuse your mother right in front of you before she managed to escape when you were eight. For six months you lived in her car before she got a job as a housekeeper at a cheap motel used mostly for hookers and their cliental. Her employer let you live rent free if your mom accepted a cheaper pay check. During one of her shifts, your mother ran right into Andrew Y/L/N. No, he wasn’t one of the hooker’s clients. He was actually on the property looking to buy out the place. Even though he was a Kook, he looked through the housekeeper’s uniform into my mom’s heart and loved everything about her. He took her on a couple dates, then less than a year later, married her. You changed your last name to his because you didn’t want any relation to your father anymore. You thought the man was scum and deserved to rot in hell for everything he put your mom through. You hated him and even wished for him to die. Sometimes you even thought about doing it yourself. But then you saw him again. At a gas station in the middle of The Cut. You couldn’t believe he recognized you and you were even more shocked he had the audacity to talk to you. And you listened. He told you how sorry he was. How he never meant to hurt your mom. How he missed his baby girl and wanted to be in her life again. You fell for every word because a part of you you didn’t know existed missed having a biological dad.

That was your biggest mistake.

He didn’t change. He was still the same bastard he was eight years ago, using violence and threats with people much weaker than him to get what he wanted. He loved guilting you with your new luxuries. How you now had everything right under your fingertips after you left him to wither away with nothing. He said you owed him. Because you were his daughter and you were supposed to love him unconditionally. And you fell for it every time. He never hurt you like he hurt your mom. A few slaps here and there but nothing to leave a mark to get your mother questioning.

So now you were trapped - trapped in his world and in his life. Using your own money that you actually worked for, little did JJ know, to pay for his bills, his drugs, and sometimes, even his bail.

You didn’t tell anyone about this secret life because you didn’t want anyone to make you feel any more pathetic and weak than you already felt. And most importantly, you didn’t want to hurt your mother by telling her you’ve been supporting the one person she’s been trying to protect you from.

And you were about to risk that by telling someone who probably still wouldn’t care about you even after hearing what you had to say. You are who you are. If JJ didn’t like you now, he shouldn’t like you after telling him your story, anyway.

“No.” You shook your head.

“No?” JJ scoffed. “I’m finally asking you tell me something and you’re saying no?”

“Because you don’t care, JJ! Not really. You think knowing my sob story is going to get you to like me? I don’t need a pity friendship. I am who I am because of shit I’ve had to overcome. And this is me now. So if you don’t like it, then fine. We’ll do it your way and call it quits.” JJ didn’t say anything as you turned around to find somewhere to pass out in hopes of getting morning to come faster.

You found a blanket deep into the cabin and pulled it over your body, shielding yourself away from the world. You hoped the darkness would sweep through your head so you wouldn’t be plagued with torturous thoughts about your past or what’s going to happen to tomorrow. You cried - you cried because even after JJ ripped into your like a zoo animal, he still hated you.

JJ was wrong. You didn’t have everything. Because you didn’t have him.

***********************

Surprisingly, the sun rose sooner than you expected it to. Sleeping on the swaying boat wasn’t as awful as you thought it was going to be. In fact, it was kind of peaceful with the stars above you and the sound of moving water right under you.

The morning wasn’t so calming. You were slapped in the face with memories of the night before. Your stomach twisted at the thought of being face to face with JJ again. You knew what you had to do and thinking about it made you sick and depressed.

You pushed yourself up and checked the time on the radio. 8:03. Anxiety instantly flooded through you. You only had two hours to get home to be ready in time to run ‘errands’ with your dad.

You looked out to the back of the boat where JJ was looking into the horizon, probably waiting for your friends to come.

Fresh set of tears pricked your eyes at what’s to come. You loved your friends and you even loved JJ. But you couldn’t stay with the Pogues. You didn’t want to make JJ any more uncomfortable than he already was and you were afraid the constant fighting would push your friends further apart. You didn’t want to be the reason for that.

You pulled the blanket tighter around your shoulders and walked next to JJ. Without a word, you looked out in the same direction he was looking and admired the morning sun.

Surprisingly, JJ was the first one to speak. He looked at you and instantly felt guilty all over again. He tossed and turned all night contemplating on whether he should wake you up to apologize or just wait until morning. He knew he wasn’t being fair. You’ve done nothing but tried to earn his trust since day one. You accepted him for all his flaws and he couldn’t do the same for you. Yeah there was the phone thing and not telling the others what you’re up to, but it wasn’t like you were constantly in his business. If you see him with unexplained bruises, you don’t pester him about it. If he comes back to the Chateau in a pissy mood and blames it on a fight with his dad, you try to make him forget about it with a distraction instead of making him tell you what the fight was about. Why couldn’t he give you the same respect?

Truth was he wasn’t so much worried about his friends getting hurt as he was getting hurt. He liked you more than a friend should which would make your departure from your friends that much more heartbreaking for him. He never felt this way over a girl, let a lone a Kook and he tried so desperately to hate you. But it didn’t work. Instead, it made him feel like the biggest asshole in the world. He wanted to fix what he broke. He told himself he still had time left. His friends weren’t back yet to get him.

“Listen, Y/N -”

“It’s fine, J,” You sniffled. This time you couldn’t stop the tears from running down your cheeks. You tried blinking them away which only made them fall faster. You hated crying in front of people. Your dad always said it was a sign of weakness and you believed him. You wouldn’t be surprised if JJ laughed in your face right now and called you a loser. “It’s done.”

“What are you talking about?”

JJ’s heart physically broke when he saw your tears. He had never seen you cry. Not even out of joy. He couldn’t believe he was the cause of this. That he had made someone as beautiful and as kind as you actually feel bad about herself. He wished he could take back time and start over. He wished he gave her a chance from the beginning. He wished it wasn’t too late.

You both looked up when you heard the engine of the HMS Pogue. In the distance, you could hear your friends laughing and calling out to you, not yet realizing their plan went to shit. You had to make this quick.

“The last thing I want is to get between you and your friends. You don’t have to worry about me hurting anyone, especially Kie. I’ll back off.” You said, making JJ’s brows furrowed in confusion and his heart raced with worry. “I’m giving you what you want. I’ll stay out of your life.”

JJ couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe he drove you to do the one thing he actually never wanted you to do. “Wait. You’re leaving?”

You looked JJ in the eyes and he wished you didn’t. Because for the first time, he didn’t see the light behind your eyes or the little crinkle in the corner when you smiled. They were dull and lifeless, making him sick to his stomach.

“I didn’t stutter. Did I?” You used his words from the other night and it felt like a stab in the heart to JJ.

JJ was left speechless which almost never happens. He wished he could say something, anything, to make you feel differently, to tell you he was wrong and sorry. But nothing came out. He could barely breathe.

“Hey you crazy kids,” Kie’s voice pierces the air, jokingly and airy. If only she knew that wasn’t how you were feeling.

“Missing a key or something?” John B joked alongside her.

“You should have called us sooner!” Pope added.

When the boat came closer to yours, they finally got a look at the two of you. They were shocked to see you silently crying and looking like all the life had been sucked out of you. JJ looked mad but they couldn’t tell whether he was mad at you or them or himself.

The three of them went sick with anxiety, suddenly wondering if this was a bad idea. Kie tried to get you make eye contact, but you wouldn’t look at her. You couldn’t look at any of them - afraid you might actually break completely if you did.

“Y/N/N...” Kie said softly.

“You guys okay?” John B asked wearily.

JJ helped Pope tie The Pogue to Heyward’s boat and hopped on right after. Pope traded spots with JJ and came up beside you and stood there awkwardly. He didn’t know what to do either.

You looked up at him before he could come up something probably stupid to ask. “Can you drop me off please?”

Pope glanced back at his friends and nodded. “Uh, sure. John B will probably get you there faster though if you -”

“No, it’s okay,” You said. You didn’t think you’d be able to handle being in an enclosed space with JJ for another minute. You just wanted to go home and forget the past two years ever happened. “I’ll stay here.”

Pope shrugged at his friends when you trudged back into the cabin and curled yourself into the corner. You didn’t know what the next few weeks would be like, but you hoped they go better than the last twenty four hours did.

#jj maybank fic #jj x reader #jj fic #jj maybank #jj #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank one shot #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x kook!reader #outer banks #outer banks fic #outer banks imagine #john b routledge #kiara carrera #pope heyward

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laurie-stark · 4 years ago

Text

Unwanted-Peter Parker

Summary: Y/n Stark gets more than she bargains for when she joins her Pops, Captian America, for the civil war of the century.

Pairings: Tony Stark x Daughter!Reader, Natasha Romanoff x Daughter!Reader, Steve Rogers x Daughter!Reader, Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Warnings: swearing, fighting

A/N: Just so you don't get too confused, Y/n is Tony Stark's biological child, however, she was raised by the Avengers and refers to Natasha and Steve as Mama and Pops. Also I wrote this a year ago LOL. Enjoy x

Part Two

New York, 2016

This was bad. Very, very bad. I had seen the secretary come in the compound over the screen of the security monitors. He marched into my home, unannounced and unwelcome, holding himself with purpose. I followed him over the screens, tracking his movements. I watched as he was led through the building, up the elevator and into...the conference room? Oh this was bad. Very, very bad.

I raced as fast as I could. By the time I got the to conference room, the whole group was already sitting in front of the secretary. I saw Wanda first. Her back was to me, but I could see her rigid frame and I knew something was happening. My father saw me approaching through the glass walls. He shot me a look that said "Don't do it. Don't come in here." I didn't obey.

The secretary stopped speaking abruptly when I walked through the doors. He gave me a quizzical look, did a once over and immediately looked at my father. Surely I don't look that much like Tony.

"Sorry I'm late, no one informed me about this team meeting," I gasped, short of breath from all the running. Of course, this was pushing it. As much as I wanted to be a part of the group, fighting was not my style, so I often got left out of important Avengers activities. I got to live with them, but that was it. Tony rose from his seat. He mumbled an apology to the secretary and gently ushered I out of the room. I would have fought back, but seeing the look on my father's face was enough to shut me up. And I never shut up. The secretary resumed his story. Something about golf and a heart attack.

My dad turned to face me. "Look kid, I get that you want to know what's going on, and you will, but today isn't the day."

"Okay," I said. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it's okay to be curious," he replied, walking back into the meeting. "Stay upstairs, okay hun?" I nodded and started the trek back up to my room. I shut the door and flopped onto my bed. Out of my long list of pet peeves, this was number one. Sure, I didn't want to fight, but come on family, I should at least get to be in on what's going on! Maybe I could help. I have powers for God sake. I am more than capable of helping the Avengers. But they always saw me as the little girl who needs protection.

"April, pull up security footage of the conference room please," I asked. April, the AI I built, that was modeled after Friday, projected the video surveillance from the ceiling. "Volume up." The group was in the same position as from when I left. The secretary was passing around the room. There was a thick white book being passed around the table.

"The Avengers were formed to make the world a safer place," Steve said quietly. "I feel we've done that."

The secretary looked down at him. "Tell me Cap, do you know where Thor and Banner are right now?" What? You were so confused. Why did the secretary care where my uncles were? No one answered the secretary's question, so he kept talking. I racked your brain to find the answers on my own. "...this is the middle ground." The secretary pointed at the book, now lying untouched on the table.

"And if we come to a decision you don't like?" Natasha asked.

"The you retire," the secretary responded. With that, he left the room and I scurried back downstairs.

Everyone was in the living room. I sat in the stairwell, again being uninvited to this group discussion. I listened to them fight. I figured out what was going on. The United Nations were being ungrateful little bitches and hated that they didn't have control over my family. So they gave an ultimatum: give in or give up. From the sounds of it, Uncle Rhodes, Vision and two of my four parents were in agreement with the accords. Steve and Sam were against it. Wanda hadn't said a word. Tension was growing high, I could feel it. I heard my father conclude that he won and a thud of the accords being tossed on the coffee table. Someone got up and left. Before I had the chance to act, the door to the stairwell was torn open. Steve pushed through and nearly stepped on me.

"Eavesdropping?" He smiled.

"You kicked me out, what else am I supposed to do?" I retorted. I noticed the tears welling in Steve's eyes. "Pops, what's wrong?"

Steve's glance fluttered to the ground. "Peggy. She, um..." was all he said. All he had to say. I was smart enough to read between the lines. I stepped forward and hugged Steve. He smiled, grateful that he had me. I knew how much Peggy meant to him. When I was little, he'd always tell me the story about how they met, how they never got that dance. And every time I would make him dance with me. He even took me to visit her once. I was ten and it was Christmas time. Steve told me that he wanted his favorite girl to meet his favorite niece. Now that was all but a memory. I held him tight before telling him to go. It was okay, I could handle the others. He left without a second glance.

Within days the team was scattered. Steve and Sam had gone to Peggy's funeral. Natasha was off to the signing of the Accords in Vienna. And then all hell broke loose when the bombs went off at the signing ceremony. As always, I were left home. I had no idea what was going on. At first this break in the team was about the Accords, but somehow Steve's old pal Bucky got involved. I didn't know what to think. The next thing I knew, everyone left for Berlin to rescue Steve and Sam from jail, leaving myself, Wanda and Vision at home.

When night fell, I was in my room, sulking as one would say. I was spending my evening flipping through Tumblr. There was a new superhero everyone was talking about. He called himself Spider-Man. New York based, focused on small neighborhood crimes. By YouTube footage alone, it was obvious he was a rookie. Soon enough, though, I accidentally conducted a full fledged search on this guy. He seemed shady. Sure, he's helping old ladies cross the street and all, but he just has a vibe. I couldn't put my finger on it. April broke me out of my research when she told me that there was a security breach in the compound. I pulled up the security camera footage and saw Clint Barton in my living room with Wanda levitating a knife at his nose.

I rushed downstairs. When I got to the living room Vision was holding Clint by the neck. I watched in silence as Wanda used her powers on Vision. She made it look easy. Slowly, Vision sunk to his knees. Wanda pushed further and the floor gave way. Vision was pushed through all seventy-four thousand levels of the compound. Wanda and Clint were about to turn to run out when you revealed yourself.

"Now was that really necessary?" I smirked. "We just had the floors waxed."

"Y/n," Clint warned.

"I'm not sitting on my ass," I said. Clint smirked and nodded. He knew he couldn't stop me anyways.

One car ride, plane flight and van trip later, I was in Germany. As it turns out, Steve wanted Clint and Wanda on his side, along with some ant dude named Scott. Scott was cool. Him and I sat together on the plane ride and watched Die Hard. He was asleep in the van when we pulled over in the airport parking lot. Clint told me to stay in the van. For once, I listened. I heard voices belonging to Steve and Sam. Clint slid open the van doors abruptly, shaking Scott awake. I chuckled to myself as he fangirled over my Pops. A voice over the intercom said something in a language I didn't know. A voice I didn't recognize said that the airport was being evacuated.

"Stark." Sam muttered.

Scott looked puzzled. Clearly he hadn't been filled in either. "Stark?" he asked.

I step out of the van. "Yes?" Steve and Sam look at me with wide eyes. Clint gave Steve a sheepish shrug. Behind their little blue car stood Bucky Barnes. I knew who he was. I learned about him in school. I knew he was some evil super soldier that attacked Natasha and Steve. He looked scary. He looked exactly like the type of guy to hurt my Mama and Pops. I held his glance until Steve spoke up.

"Y/n, what are you doing here?" Steve whisper-shouted. His voice always got quiet when he 'yelled' at me.

"I hitchhiked." I replied, knowing that at this point Steve didn't have the time to argue with me. He shook his head in defeat and took a deep breath.

"Suit up."

The airport was huge. Our group got suited up and started for the runway. I didn't know how Steve knew where to find my dad, but I followed him anyways. Before I could get any closer, Bucky held me back.

"It's, uh, not gonna be safe. You should stay here and keep low," he said. I frowned. I did not come all this way to not fight. But even still, I nodded. Bucky scared me. He and Sam took off in another direction to find the getaway jet. I laughed. This whole thing was ridiculous. My attention turned to the sound of my father and Rhodey flying down from the sky.

"Ross gave me 36 hours to bring you in," Tony started. "That was 24 hours ago. Can you help a brother out?"

"You're after the wrong guy," Steve replied nonchalantly.

"Your judgement is askew. Your old war buddy killed innocent people yesterday-"

"And there are five more super soldiers just like him. I can't let the doctor find 'em first Tony. I can't."

"Steve," Natasha approached him slowly. "You know what's about to happen. Do you really wanna punch your way out of this one?"

I took this as my cue. "No, but I will," I said, emerging from my hiding spot. I looked at the faces of your family. My gaze fell on Tony and my smile dropped. He looked angry.

"You brought my daughter into this?" Tony yelled, turning to Steve.

"Technically, I brought myself," I said. "You really think you were gonna leave me out of all the fun?"

Tony pinched his brow. "Y/n, this is serious."

"No it's not," I objected. "No, this got personal the second you thought you were gonna loose Pops to Bucky." No one moved after I said that.

"Alright, I've run out of patience," my father finally spoke. He cupped his hands around his mouth. "Underoos!"

Before I had a chance to process, a red and black blur whipped past my head. It landed on top of a nearby van. It was Spider-Man. As in the Spider-Man. He had taken Cap's shield from him. I said nothing. My father could have recruited me, but instead he chose this little neighborhood nobody. That hurt a little. The Spider-thing and my father bantered for a minute. So he's never even been in a real fight before, I thought.

"You've been busy," Steve smirked.

Tony turned back to Steve. "And you've been a complete idiot. Dragging in Clint and Y/n, rescuing Wanda from a place she doesn't even want to leave, a safe place. I'm trying to keep-" he paused, sighing. "I'm trying to keep to keep you from tearing the Avengers apart."

"You did that when you signed." Steve kept his cool. My father did not.

"Alright, we're done. You're gonna turn Barnes over, you're gonna come with us, now, because it's us! Or squad of J-SOC guys with no compunction of being polite. Come on."

Everyone stood still, waiting. Steve put his web-cuffed hands in the air. Clint shot them free from a mile away. I saw Scott -or a tiny version of him. Spider-Man noticed too, right before Scott grew and kicked him in the face. My dad flew off to retrieve Wanda and Rhodey was ready to take on Cap.

"Hey Mr. Stark, what should I do?" Spider-Man asked. He sounded young.

"What we discussed, keep your distance, web 'em up!" My father barked, as he flew towards Clint and Wanda.

"Okay, copy that," Spider-Man replied. He shot a web at me first. It caught my arm and I got whipped to the ground. I glared at him.

"Really?" I hissed.

"Just following Mr. Stark's orders," He said before swinging off after Bucky. I was left on the ground once everyone dispersed. I tried pulling my hand out of the sticky material that was shot at me, but it was stronger than glue. I was forced to watch the action unfold and wait until Natasha ran past me.

"Mama, a little help here?" I called out to her.

She stopped for a second. "Sorry honey, I really don't want you getting hurt." She ran off and I groaned. No one ever wants me to get hurt. I suppose I should be grateful, but in a moment like this, gratitude is hard to find. I started toying with the web. I wondered if I could break down the molecules. Surely there had to be some sort of H2O compound in it somewhere.

My power surged through me, the current flowing to the hand webbed to the ground. I managed to manipulate the water out, just as I predicted I would. The substance melted off my hands. Gross, I thought. I wiped the remaining web on my pants and got up. The water from the webbing fell to the ground with a splash.

I stood up and examined my surroundings. Natasha was on the ground fighting Scott, who shrunk down and flipped her over her own head. The Black Panther was on the other side of the roof, battling Steve. I didn't move. As much as I wanted to be included, I couldn't bring myself to fight. Not now at least.

The two teams assembled, divided by a line on the pavement. How cinematic. I was on Cap's side. I never meant to fight against my father. If anything, I thought it was funny. I looked out at the team in front of me. They were all lined up, Rhodey, the cat, Tony, Nat, the Spider-brat. Vision hovered above them. A bead of sweat trickled down the back of my neck. I were scared. I wasn't made to fight.

"What do we do Cap?" Sam asked.

"We fight." Steve moved first. We followed in suit. My dad's team mimicked my team's actions and walked closer. We broke into a jog and then a full out run. This was really about to happen. I hoped that my family would go easy on me. I knew what I was doing. I reassured myself of that. I have done a bunch of training, especially with Wanda. I could move the freaking elements with my mind and manipulate gravity! As if the Spider-Man could beat that. I am Y/n fricking Stark. I can do this.

I put a smile on your face, contrasting everyone else's bitter looks. "I call the spider!" I yelled, just as everyone began the battle. Spider-Man heard me and slowed down just a bit. I cocked an eyebrow. He resumed his pace and ran straight for me. I ran headfirst towards him. He threw out his arm to web me, but I was faster. With a swish of my hands, I changed his gravitational pull and made his feet flip out from under him. He landed on his back with a hard thud. As gently as I could, I morphed the pavement under him to trap his hands. "Careful there, Spider-boy. Don't wanna get stepped on." I walked away. I made it about ten steps before I heard the sound of concrete cracking. I turned around and saw that Spider-Man was breaking free of his restraints. I was shocked. He has super strength. Great. I should have moved out of his way because the second he got one hand free, I was webbed against a truck.

"For the record," he said, getting up in my face. "It's Spider-Man." He swung off into the airport through a glass window. I watched the glass rained onto the ground. Taking a deep breath, I quickly removed myself from the webs. I needed a plan. A strategy. I thought about at the opposing team. Everyone was scattered around the airport. I thought about who would be easiest to fight. But then I realized, the strategy wasn't about how they'd fight, but who. There was no way in hell that my parents or Uncle Rhodey would even think about fighting me. The Black Panther didn't know me, so he was a threat. The worst Vision could do was pick me up and fly away, so he was in thr safe zone. That left the spider. I smiled to myself. Rematch time.

By the time I found Spider-Man, he had already webbed Sam and Bucky to the floor. He was perched on top of a light post, saying something about impressing my father. Sam's mini falcon whizzed past me and grabbed Spider-Man by the web. He got pulled out a window, banging his side into the pane on the way out. I ran over to Sam and Bucky. Quickly, I destroyed the webbing and helped them up. They both gave me a quick "Thanks kid," before running back out. I followed them, staying loose on their trail.

Once I got outside my eyes scanned the area for the Spider. I saw Wanda piling cars on my father and Natasha fighting Clint. Then I spotted him, fighting Cap. He was underneath a jet bridge . Cap threw his shield at the support beams and the whole thing fell on top of Spider-Man. He caught it of course, but Cap ran away. I formed my plan.

"Hey!" I called out. I walked around the collapsing jet bridge. I stood in front of the struggling boy. Or man, I didn't know. "Remember me?"

"Heh, how could I forget such a pretty face," he grunted, starting to fold under the weight of the jet bridge. "You wanna give me a hand?" I glared at his face comment, but lifted the jet bridge anyway. He ran out and I let it fall. Both of us stopped for a minute, gasping for breath beside the rubble. He was close enough to hit. So I did. Without warning I threw a punch of air at him. It hit him right in the chest and he got blown back into the side of a van. "What the hell man?" He got up and shot a web at me. I dodged and threw another gust of wind. It shot him out of the air. He webbed at a pole and swung past my face. I redirected his gravitational pull, but not before he got a kick to my face. We both got thrown in different directions. I landed hard on the ground, pain shooting up my spine. I got up first, now angry. Forgetting about my powers, I lunged at him and threw a punch. I missed and he shot webs at my feet, holding me down. Immediately, I dissolved them and Spider-Man's eyes widened. Well, his mask's eye holes did anyway.

"How did you do that?" He yelled. "What kind of witchcraft-"

"Its not witchcraft," I spat. "It's called manipulation of the elements, look it up. I figured there had to be some water compound in this and I was right. All I had to do was remove it."

"That's so cool! And how did you do the foot thing earlier? Was that just the wind you do or do you have telekinesis too? Are you like the Scarlet Witch?" He rambled on. I took this to my advantage and caught him off guard. I used the van he'd hit earlier to become his gravitational pull and yanked. He went slamming into it and groaned. When he tried to get back up, I was already five steps ahead of him. Morphing the earth metals in the van, I contorted it into a shell that crushed Spider-Man until he was covered and stuck.

I heard Scott say that he was gonna tear himself in half over the earpiece. I got distracted from holding Spider-Man down and turned to see a giant Scott. Spider-Man broke free. He tore the shell off himself and threw it at me. I was wacked across the side and fell the the ground again.

"Holy shit!" he says, looking at Scott. His back was to me and I gave him one last wind push. He fell on his face and I laughed. "Oh come on, don't you have some dolls to play with or something?" I just scoffed and walked past him, stepping past his hand that was on the ground. He let out a yelp and you kept walking. Dolls, I thought. I'm thirteen I don't play with dolls. I watched as the rest of the battle went down. I wasn't quite sure what to do. I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

Natasha was standing just behind me. "Come with me." We started jogging off. It was natural for me to listen to her. I realized about five seconds in that technically she was my enemy right about now, but I shrugged it off. I ran through the fight, past the big Scott and towards a warehouse. I could see the outline of a jet get bigger as I approached it. Natasha stopped behind the entrance. She was waiting.

"So what do we do?" I asked.

"We wait to fight," She replied, not taking her eyes off the horizon. I came to realize this probably means I would be fighting her. Maybe she wanted to use me as a hostage or something. No, that's silly. Right?

Steve and Bucky got closer to the building I was in. They nearly made it until Vision laser beamed the shit out of a nearby communications tower. Wanda caught it before it fell, giving the two men time to race towards the jet. I stepped out to help Wanda. The both of us were able to hold the rubble long enough for Steve and Bucky to get through. I panted, proud of myself for getting this far.

A searing pain sliced through my brain. Both myself and Wanda fell to the ground, screaming. I could barely look up to see that Rhodey was sending some sort of wave through the air. The tower fell and Natasha was quick to haul me out of the way before I got crushed. I might be better than Spider-Man, but I definitely don't have his super strength.

Steve and Bucky still managed to get through the falling paces of metal and concrete. Natasha left my side and marched swiftly towards the two men. I couldn't hear them, but I could sense the tension from a mile away. Natasha lifted her arm, taser aimed and ready. Steve held his shield up in defense as Natasha shoots....the Black Panther? I guess she's on our side now? The jet started to take off and you watch an Natasha continues to battle the Panther. I fell to my side, wiped out.

My father flew into the warehouse just as the jet leaves. You thought maybe he was going to fight Natasha for betraying him. I was wrong. He was coming for me. He landed beside me and dropped to his knees. His helmet closed and I could see the worry plastered on his cut up face. He knelt beside me and gently held me up.

"Are you okay?" he asked. I nodded, not really able to make words. He looked over at Natasha, who was looking at us. She had an apologetic look, but I know she doesn't regret letting Cap go. My father let me go and charged off after the jet plane. I lied down, enjoying the feeling of cold concrete against your skin. I closed my eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I paced around the living room, driving Nat crazy. I knew that the second my father got home I would be in deep shit. So when Friday alerted me that Tony was home my heart rate went up 29373%. The battle, this fight, it ended worse then I could have imagined. Natasha told me that my father could have died. Rhodey was paralyzed from the waist down. I had no idea if I'd ever see my Pops again. This was bad. Very, very bad.

I slowly walked down the main hall towards the front doors. I was scared. My hands and the back of my neck were sweating. I knew exactly what was coming. Every time I had asked my dad if I could be an honorary Avenger, I got the same lecture. That it was too dangerous, I didn't have the proper training and it's too much for his little girl to handle. Even when I asked to just be a part of the business side of the team, Tony laughed and said no. I've broken a lot of my father's rules, but this was the line. And I had gone so far over.

As I approached the front door, I could hear my father speaking. I heard another voice too. My heart dropped. It was Spider-Man. Why was Spider-Man here? I ducked behind a wall and listened in to the conversation.

"...outstanding job kid. Your fighting technique was on par. And, listen, I know we're not allowed to have kids on this team, but if we need you again, we'll call." I heard my father say.

"Thanks Mr. Stark. This was so cool," Spider-Man replied. I wondered if he had his suit on or not. I wanted to know who this guy was. I revealed myself from behind the wall. The two looked at me. I looked at my father first and fought the urge to burst into tears. He looked awful. His face was all cut up and the black eye he got was still a little swollen. I glanced at the figure beside him and frowned. Spider-Man was a kid. He looked like he was my age. He had a mop of curly brown hair and doe eyes. He was almost equally as beat up as my dad and I gracefully took credit for that.

"Y/n, this is Peter. He's, uh, one of my interns. Kid, this is Y/n," Tony said. My annoyance turned to anger. Now my father was lying to me?

"How old are you?" I asked, eyes narrowing. I knew that I sounded rude, but this kid had kicked me in the face twice. I didn't think he deserved my manners.

"I'm fourteen," Peter gulped. A year older than me. And I kicked his ass, I thought. "You gave me quite a fight back in Berlin."

"Yeah and I beat your ass doing it."

"Speaking of which," Tony spoke up, "I have to talk to Y/n about that. Happy will take you home Peter." Peter nodded and said goodbye to my father. He said goodbye to me, to which I didn't reply. Peter frowned at that as he walked out the door.

My dad turned to me when the door shut. "What," he began, "were you thinking?"

"Well I-"

"No. This is where you listen. Do you know how dangerous that mission was. Do you know how many people got hurt? You saw what happened to Rhodey, that could have been you!"

"But it wasn't" I retorted.

Tony's frown deepened. "That is not the point. You put yourself in serious danger, and for what? So you could feel a little more included? You could have died. This was my one rule, my one ask of you, and your broke it."

"Oh, come on now, I'm a Stark, it's in our blood to not listen to our fathers." My father gave me the coldest look and I shut down. I took a deep breath. "Look, I didn't know that it was gonna be this bad. You know me, daddy, I'm not a fighter, I'm not some hero. You think I would have gone if I knew it would turn out like this? I thought this was just gonna be another one your you and Pops' stupid fights. And yes, I could have gotten hurt, but I think I handled myself pretty well. You saw what I did you that little protege of yours. I beat him to the curb."

"Y/n you were reckless. Peter was prepared for this, he was ready."

"And I still beat him."

"Y/n you're not listening to me. This is why I chose Peter over you. I would have taken you if I knew you wouldn't do something stupid. But you did anyway." And with that he walked away, leaving me, teary-eyed in the front hall.

Tony came by my room later that night to apologize. He said that he was sorry for being harsh, that he just cared about me and I scared him. I knew he meant it and I forgave him, because that's what we do. Besides, it wasn't Tony I was angry with. This is why I chose Peter over you. Tony's words echoed through my head. I knew that he loved me more, I'm his daughter, he had to. But I were jealous. Jealous that stupid Peter Parker got the praise for the work I've wanted to hear for ages. And mad at that stupid spider for being stupid.

This is when I decided that I hate Peter Parker.

444 notes · View notes

mokuhchi-manuscripts · 4 years ago

Note

Spring troupe (separately) finding notes in their pockets from their s/o reminding them to take care of themselves and that they love them?

A/N: I wrote this as if it was an event that happened regularly! Hope that’s what you meant :) Also I loved writing this so much! This request was so cute, thank you so much anon ;^; Also Masumi has abandonment issues bc I said so and it makes a lot of sense with his character. And apologies Citron’s is the shortest, I’m still working on figuring out his character tbh

CW(s): slight mention of abandonment issues for Masumi

❀ Sakuya Sakuma

He’d be beyond himself when he found the first one

He blushes really hard whenever he reads them you’ve almost pavloved him into blushing every time he feels a piece of paper in his pocket

After a couple times of finding a note, he’ll definitely look forward to days where he finds them

He doesn’t do anything like run to his hoodie and check all his clothes everyday but when he happens to find one it always brings a smile to his face

He’d definitely text you to say thank you and respond with his own small message

He especially needs the reminders to take care of himself during spring though, as theatre takes up so much of his mind and he can get easily preoccupied

Sakuya sat outside in the courtyard, reviewing his script for the nth time. A cool breeze passed through and tousled his hair. He placed a hand in his hoodie pocket, not wanting to get cold; as soon as he reached in he felt a scrap of paper scrape against his hand. Sakuya immediately began to blush and quickly pulled out the paper.

"Reminder to eat today! Hope you have a great day and good luck with rehearsals <3"

He couldn’t help but let a giant grin spread across his face. Then the realization that he hadn’t eaten yet hit him. Omi had just been out not too long ago, or so he thought, to remind him dinner was ready. Sakuya had responded that he’d be there momentarily, but got distracted by the new script.

He quickly got up and began to make his way to the kitchen and dining room. There at the table he saw a handful of the Mankai Company members, including Omi.

“There you are! I was about to go remind you again dinner was ready.”

“Sorry, I got distracted. What did you cook today?”

Omi shook his head. “I didn’t. Izumi did.” Sakuya nodded in acknowledgement, knowing exactly what that meant,

“It’s alright. Now sit down and eat!” Sakuya grabbed a plate and served himself some curry and found a place at an empty seat. He pulled the note out from his pocket again, reading and rereading it again and again just like he did with every note.

After he ate dinner he made sure to text you a thank you.

❀ Tsuzuru Minagi

The first time he found a note he was shocked; he didn’t really have enough time to process it as he was on his way to one of his part-time jobs but during his shift he continued to fumble as he couldn’t get it off his mind

Tsuzuru reached into his pocket for a pen, fingers crossed he didn’t forget one to his server job. He quickly found the writing utensil, but next to it he could feel a scrap of paper. He figured it must have been a reminder he wrote for himself that he forgot about. He pulled the small piece out of his pocket and froze in his tracks once he read it. It wasn’t a note he had written for himself, instead it was a note you had written for him.

"Remember that I care about you and don't forget to take care of yourself today!"

He could barely register the words as he read them, but the immediate emotion he felt was absolute love for you.

He most likely finds any note on his way to a college class or while working one of his part-time jobs

If he finds one while he’s with a member of the Mankai company he probably won’t read it as he prefers to read them when he’s alone since they’re personal and special to him

He tries to keep them but sometimes he just gets disorganized so he may accidentally throw them away; he still has at least half though

He tries his best to follow the notes when they’re reminders (e.g. eating when you remind him to eat) as he doesn’t want to somehow accidentally disappoint you

He definitely needs the reminders when he’s writing scripts as he will not step away from his computer once it comes time for another play; if you leave him a note to eat or drink water there’s a higher chance he’ll at least eat something small or take some sips of water

Since he’s someone who tends to look out for other people, knowing someone is looking after him just makes him incredibly happy

❀ Masumi Usui

He froze as soon as he opened the first note he received as he could barely think; his thoughts were too full of his love for you and he didn’t want it any other way

He probably immediately texted you as soon as he reads it to tell you he loves you and has continued to text you a thank you or ‘ily’ every time he gets a note and decides to check on you in the same message

He loves checking his jackets after he sees you to see if you’ve left a note; and once Tsuzuru told you he checks you started leaving them after every time you went over

He keeps all the notes in a jar on his desk; just seeing them all collected in one place brings a smile to his face

Whenever he feels lonely, or his abandonment issues act up, he brings the jar up to his bed and reads them one by one

Masumi sat in his desk chair, exasperated. He had messaged you a couple times throughout the day and you hadn’t responded despite looking at his messages and he was growing concerned. His mind was beginning to race and he began to assume and fear the worst. Then the jar on his desk caught his eye. He carefully grabbed it, tucked it under one arm, and climbed up to his bed. There he unscrewed the lid and one by one pulled out and read each and every note he had ever gotten from you.

“Reminder that I love you!’

“Remember to eat and drink water <3”

“(ღ˘⌣˘)♥ love you!”

“This song made me think of my feelings for you- Stupid for You by Waterparks <3”

“Good luck with rehearsal today! (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)"

Tears began to well in his eyes and he made sure to wipe them away with the back of his hand, lest he ruin one of the precious notes with his tears. Never had he felt so loved before you, and he mentally noted to tell you how much he appreciated you the next time he saw you.

After having dealt with his parents not being there and growing up with no friends, he values you and your reminders an immense amount

He may try to leave you notes as well, but he’d much rather express his love for you in person

❀ Itaru Chigasaki

The first time he found one of your notes, he was overwhelmed with love for you; he could practically see the ‘+10’ affection points above his head as he read it

Itaru probably finds the notes once he’s at work if you put them in his jacket

His morning is much too hectic to be able to read it while at the dorms, so he tends to read it every time he drains his LP (yes, every time; your notes brighten his day)

Itaru stepped away from his desk. He had been watching the clock as his lunch hour ticked closer and closer, and once the time was reached, he made his way out of the office. Once he got to his car and began to drain his LP, he reached into his pocket to pull out the note you had left in his pocket that morning.

"Don’t forget to refill your stats! Remember to eat something and drink water, and keep in mind that ily <3"

He couldn't help but smile at the note, unlocking his phone to both drain his LP and to message you a quick thank you in response to your nerdy reminder.

If you use gamer lingo or nerdy references in the notes he will be positively enamored

He tends to just put them somewhere in a designated desk drawer, sometimes taping his favorites down to the top of the desk to make sure they don’t get lost and to see them while he games

If he’s streaming and he sees one of the notes on his desk out of the corner of his eye, he always ends up smiling and tends to have a habit of taking a drink of water when he sees one

If you leave a note in his gaming sweatshirt, it may take a bit for him to find it but when he does he’s very grateful -even though he has a smaller chance of actually listening to it-

At times when he’s very preoccupied, he may forget that you leave him notes at all so it’s like a new surprise all over again

❀ Citron

He was incredibly happy when he received his first note from you

After the first note he received, he began leaving notes for you as well

Sometimes the notes can be hard to decipher due to him forgetting and switching up words but it’s the thought that counts

You had left a note on Citron’s desk the night before, and when you arrived at the dorm the next day he thanked you for it and gave you a tight hug. While you were there he was telling stories of his home country. He spoke of the food, the towns, and his pet Juliano.

Eventually it began to get dark and you had to bid your boyfriend a farewell. He gave you a kiss on your cheek as you departed, and offered a smile and wave as you exited out the door.

Once outside the bitter winds nipped at your skin, so you placed your hands in your pockets in an attempt to keep them warm. But once you did so, you could feel a scrap of paper scratch against your fingertips. You quickly pulled it out, wondering what it could be. You unfolded it and there in familiar handwriting you found the following note:

"Remember that I am loving you always! Have a safe trip home and do not forget to crink water!!"

You could assume he meant ‘drink’ instead of ‘crink’. His struggle with language definitely found its way into the notes he gave you, but if anything it made him that much more endearing. On your way home, you made sure to buy a bottle of water.

His notes may sometimes come off as nonsensical due to his issues with language

If you really need help translating it, just ask another troupe member and they should be able to help

He doesn’t check his pockets for notes since he loves the surprise of finding them

❀ Utsuki Chikage

The first time he found a note in his pocket he felt so happy and appreciated it more than anything, although you wouldn’t have been able to tell if you were there due to his amazing poker face

Chikage has guilt and baggage and the fact that you stay with him amazes him, but he’s so grateful

After reading them he does throw the notes away, not because he doesn’t like them, but because they feel so special to him he doesn’t want anyone else to have the opportunity to read the words you wrote especially for him

Because of this, he does his best to memorize them

It was originally difficult to know if he was even finding the notes since he’d never let you know or anything of that such

You had been leaving notes in your boyfriend’s pockets for months now. They were simple notes, things such as, ‘Don’t forget to eat today!’ or ‘Remember I care about you and like you no matter your past’. It shouldn't have made you so nervous that you couldn’t tell if Chikage had actually found them, or if he found them annoying, but knots of anxiety were developing in your stomach. So you decided to call him.

He picked up on the fourth ring, “Chikage Utsuki speaking.”

“Hey, Chikage.”

“Oh, hello. To what may I offer the pleasure of this call?”

“Um,” you paused, collecting your thoughts, “so, I’ve been leaving these little..notes? In your pockets? And I was just curious if you had gotten them or if you found them annoying because if you do I can stop-” a laugh on the other side cut you off. “What? What’s so funny?”

Chikage continued to chuckle, “No, I’ve found them.” He lowered his voice to a whisper, like he didn’t want anyone else but you to hear, “I really appreciate them. Thank you.”

“Oh! Well I’m glad.” you were almost positive Chikage could hear your smile through the phone.

“Was that all?”

“Yeah, sorry. I’ll see you later. Bye!”

“Goodbye.” the click of the end call button rang in your ears, but you couldn’t help but continue to smile.

After a while, it’s easier to tell when he has recently read a note as he may come off as somewhat more affectionate but whether he does it on purpose or not you can’t completely tell

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