#and some of them really seem to need someone to talk to

[galene-gothic]

𝖸𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗆𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝖺𝗍𝗍𝗋𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝗊𝗎𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗂𝖾𝗌 𝖺𝖼𝖼𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖿𝗎𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗌𝗉𝗈𝗎𝗌𝖾

ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗             PAID SERVICES TIP JAR

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 1 ꒱

You’re someone who will know everything about everyone. It’s actually sort of funny. You’re a very curious person and it leads to you finding things out about other people in an almost intrusive manner in order to feed it. You will do so in a very innocent manner. Like, for example, you were talking to a guy and happened to really like him but you got ghosted or he just didn’t stay in touch with you even though he seemed really interested in you while you were around each other. You’re going to be emotionally affected but will lean more towards seeking the truth. You won’t let it show externally just how much it affected you, instead, you’re going to find out that they entered a relationship with someone after losing touch with you and it will happen very casually. Like, the person who broke the news to you will have no idea what they just did. It will cause you to connect dots and things will start making more, and more sense the more that you do this. You’ll also know more about people than they’d like you to because of this quality of yours but they’ll have no clue that you know all of these things about them. For example, if you knew that a professor was dating a student, you’re going to continue acting as if you know nothing about it until one of them says something to you. Even so, you’re going to be like “oh really?” Or another example, supposing you were on a date with someone who you knew a lot about because of your top notch research skills, you will continue acting like you know nothing about them, asking them basic first date questions. You’re going to be someone very passionate and fun loving, causing you to talk a lot or/and loudly when you’re excited, and comfortable causing you to be perceived as almost dumb by some people or too busy living in the moment, pursuing goals, living life and having fun to keep a mental note of things but you’re going to be someone who will keep things in your mind even if others think that you’ve missed their words or the details of things completely. It’s almost as if even your perceived innocence and dumbness is a calculated strategy. I think it comes or will come naturally to you but it’s going to be as effective as carefully woven and well thought out strategies. They might assume that you’re a bit more naive and might think that you’re not keeping a mental note of things but they’ll be so wrong. Once they get into a relationship with you, they’ll learn that you’re the most sharp person who memorises every little detail and thinks them through. The closer that they grow to you, the more that they’ll realise that you’re not as dumb as others consider you to be. In fact, you’re quite the opposite, you remember every little thing, connect the dots and overanalyse the situation if required. You might say something that makes them realise how much you analyse people and situations, and don’t forget even the smallest things. “She said this to me and she said that behind my back but she’s not aware that I know what she said.” It’s not going to be a one time thing, you’ll say things like this a lot, making them realise that you’re mentally really analytical. The duality will be wild though because on the surface, even if you know certain things about other people, you will continue acting normal and oblivious. Even if you dislike them because you know what intentions they hold towards you or are at least cautious in your interactions with them, you’ll seem very carefree and will interact with them like normal as if you don’t know shit.

They’ll be highly attracted to you physically and energetically right away. It will simply just be a primal attraction. I don’t think that I can put it into words and even need to. They’ll just be attracted to you in a way that is undeniable, exciting and comes naturally to them. You’re going to be a very passionate and adventurous person, simply just being around you will make them feel something stir within them and they’ll even be able to feel the heat physically. For you, passion, fun and inspired action will be very important. You’re going to be flirty but also the type to disappear because you’re busy doing other things. You’re going to push their boundaries and challenge their authority but it’s going to be almost a method of flirting for you, they’ll really enjoy it. You’re going to be impulsive sometimes but will embrace passion wholeheartedly and naturally act with it. They’re going to be looking at you with soft heart eyes and a soft, natural smile while you’re talking about something that you’re passionate about or while you’re having fun because it will genuinely make them feel warm on the inside. They’re going to adore you so much. Also, you’re going to be someone who is able to self validate and doesn’t seek external validation but will seek praise, and attention from them. It is actually so cute. You’re going to be someone who is unapologetically living life. You will be following the philosophy of “my life is not mine if I care too much about what other people think” and will just be doing you. You’re not going to be one of those wannabe nonchalant people, instead you’re going to think that “nonchalance is the death of passion” and will be accepting, and embodying your nature as it is. If you want something, you’re going to pursue it with passion. If you feel excited about something, you’re going to express that excitement wholeheartedly. You’re going to be very wholehearted about expressing love to them as well as physical passion. They’re simply not going to be able to get enough of you. Everything will feel fun with you and they might assume that you’ve forgotten certain things that they’ve told you about but you’ll remember every little detail about them despite your passionate way of living, and the way you’ll also seek for them to see, notice and praise you will make them feel oh so special. I hope that the reading resonated. Thank you for reading, much love and take care.

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 2 ꒱

You’re someone who will be very ‘no bullshit’ but not in an egoistic and bitchy manner. You’re going to be a very hopeful person who will have walked away from a lot and will be willing to walk away despite any hopes for the future that you may have had if it starts affecting your mind and peace negatively. I’m not sure if you’ve reached such a point yet but by the time you meet, and get with them, you’ll have experienced life, learned lessons and are going to believe in consequences over negotiations. That’s the best way to be respected because most people don’t believe that they’re worthy of being forgiven and given a second chance so if you let their behaviour slide once, they’re going to do something worse next time. Due to this, your future spouse is going to see you cutting people off left and right. The fact that you respect yourself so much and are still choosing them is going to be a matter of pride, and a point of attraction for them. You might also help them transition away from something that affects them this way for which they’ll be very grateful. You’re going to be their peace and they’re going to love you so much for it. You’re going to be very influential and will truly convince them to let go of whatever is not serving them. I just heard ‘joru ka gulam’ which means ‘wife’s servant/slave’. I don’t think that that’s exactly true but the thing is, sometimes when someone is taken and they start acting differently, they believe that the partner must be controlling them or influencing them in this way, and that will be the case for the both of you as well but it’s not going to be like you’re literally controlling them. It’s more so that you are so convincing and influential that they willingly want to move on, away, and seek peace in whatever way that they can. You’re also going to be someone who is deeply romantic and obsessive but only they’ll get this side of you. Actually no, others will also get this side of you but they’ll get it in a different way. You’re going to be idealistic and will romanticise your life but you’ll do it in a way in which you do not seek attention from others, and instead self validate. Most people do not understand this way of living because they’re very externally focused and so to them you might seem… I’m not even sure about what word to use but it’s just that others won’t get it. Are you the type of person to “OH MY GOD, I HAVE EXPERIENCED THIS BEFORE. I JUST GOT DEJA VU!” Even if you’re not, you might be that way with them throughout your relationship and marriage, and they’re going to find this side of you to be very adorable because you will look genuinely excited and amused every time this happens, no matter how many times you may have experienced it already. Wide eyes and all that but back to what I was saying. Many different energies are coming through but I’ll just put forth the one that is coming through the strongest. Overly soft, dreamy and sensitive, that’s how some of you may be perceived by some. Like, they might just assume that you’ve not had to deal with the harshness of life and so you have not matured much but gosh, there’s this duality in which you seem so open but you’re so selective with people. You are going to be very closed off to connections especially romance or will seem like such to them. If not, that’s just not going to be your priority and you will not even give a single fuck about the attention. If you don’t like someone, you are going to make sure that you don’t lead them on even if it may come off slightly tactless or mean. Some of you may not seem soft, dreamy and sensitive but the truth stands, to some level no matter how approachable or unapproachable you may be, you’re going to be closed off to connections especially romance and will not care about external validation so you’re going to seem hard to reach to some extent.

You’re going to be enjoying life wholeheartedly when you’ll meet them, not giving into loneliness and will be validating yourself instead of chasing external validation. That’s something that they’ll find extremely attractive about you because initially, you might be a bit closed off and cautious despite your romantic desires. Like, even if you desire romance, you’re not going to be desperate for it and you’ll be fine without it so you may not display your romantic, flirty, and sexual side right away but when you open up, you’re going to be deeply romantic and also obsessive over them. You, who doesn’t seek or need external validation is going to want it from them and gosh will they feel so prideful of it. They’ll really enjoy giving you this attention because they’ll feel special knowing that it’s only them who you share such a side with. They’re going to feel as though they’re living in a romance movie with you and this side of you will be theirs, and theirs alone. The sex is going to be really good too. That’s all I’m getting. Either or both of you could be a bit more on the private side when it comes to your sex life together but they’re going to enjoy it thoroughly. Actually no, you’re going to have a praise and degradation kink, and they’re really going to enjoy this back and forth. In fact, you might have either or both of these kinks even outside the bedroom. If you have a praise kink, you’re going to want them to compliment, praise and just look at you endearingly, and with pride like a kid who just got an A+, and a star sticker on their exercise book showing it to their parents xD. You might enjoy feeling as though they’re proud of you, when they show you off and also appreciate you equally in private, you’re going to really enjoy it. Something like “good girl” might make you very happy or “I’m so proud of you”. If you have a degradation kink, you’re going to like it when they put you in your place by firmly scolding you in some way while you’re acting like a brat and well, if you have both, you will enjoy both. This is honestly so adorable. You’re going to have many different sides to you and they’ll be contradictory. You’re going to be out of control and the connection is going to be one in which the both of you are going to be opposites of each other or just contradictory and will clash a lot with each other. You will also be highly dramatic at times but it will bring out their own dramatic side too or will just give them an adrenaline rush, and they’re going to love it. You will have a very high ego but maybe it’s only when it comes to them but even so, you’re going to want something real with them and they’re going to want the same with you, and the connection itself will feel very real. It’s also going to be a connection that brings about many new things emotionally and just in life. You’re going to meet them and it’s like seeds will be planted that will cause the both of you to grow through each other, and it is going to happen throughout the connection. It’s going to be thrilling but also grounded and the growth that you’ll both experience with each other is only going to make things seem realer than ever. Not to mention, you’re going to be consistently building together too. If you want kids or ever have them, they’re going to find you very attractive when you’re pregnant with their kid or will just enjoy raw dogging and creampie-ing you, or it might just be a fantasy of theirs. I just heard “my vanilla kink is breeding.” Also, if you use an earthy or woody scent, I specifically heard ‘soil after the rain’, they’re going to find that very attractive. I hope that the reading resonated. Thank you for reading, much love and take care.

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 3 ꒱

Your future spouse is going to greatly desire you. That’s for sure. You’re going to be someone very sexual and will really enjoy… sex. I’m sorry but there was no better way to put it. You’re going to enjoy sex in many ways but all are very intimate. The first one is sort of rough with a lot of manhandling but them holding you close, one in which you can feel each other very deeply and in a primal manner, deep but rough thrusts, and a lot of passion, the type in which you can feel each other’s breath, feel consumed by each other and get lost in the throes of passion. There’s a lot of moaning in this one. Another one in which you might be in bed after a long and tiring day of work but are still enjoying each other in the sideways position, and missionary but you’re just lying there and taking it. Another one in which the sex is fiery and similar to the first one but you’re a bit bratty, talking back, scratching, biting and whining. Another one in which you are enjoying each other sensually and passionately but it is more breathy than filled with moans, if that makes sense. This is likely not all but I’ve now gotten a feel of your sexual nature, the first thing that I got here is that you enjoy being manhandled but are not the type to be passive and not engage either, you instead partake by touching, feeling, rubbing their back, running your hands all over their body, biting, kissing, moaning, talking back and just whatever you can do. The second thing that I picked up on is that you also have days when you’re very horny but may have no energy or just prefer not having to do much and being taken care of, or just lazy sex to put it bluntly. The third thing is that you really enjoy sensual and intentional sex too. One with a lot of touching and rubbing on the right areas, and a more breathy feel. Well, the most important thing is that you’re going to be sexual and they will be too, and the physical connection between the both of you is going to be very strong but besides that, you’re going to be a place of rest for them. You’re going to place a lot of value on intimacy and not just sexual, and will give them the space to lead you but you’re also going to be willing to step up if and when needed, and they’ll be able to lead you in a way in which it favours the both of you. You’re going to be a visionary, offering ideas and sometimes questioning things, and will have a lot of integrity but also a lot of faith in them, and their leadership. Only weak people who don’t trust their own vision get mad when their followers question it, they’re not even leaders, they’re just dictators. Your future spouse going to be a leader so they’re going to take your concerns into account or will explain things properly to you for you to understand it better. They’ll enjoy being a protector and provider to you. They’re going to learn a lot from you and will be taking your ideas, your vision into consideration, and bringing them to life, as well as their own which will make them a really good leader and partner. I’m honestly so happy for you. Also, another thing is that they’re someone very charismatic, they have a big aura and warm, in fact even hot presence, and they’re used to being a leader in various places and situations but even they need a place to rest, rejuvenate, and relax and you’re going to be that for them.

You’re going to be a contemplative person and will need a lot of solitude. Your contemplation is going to give them the insight, ideas and vision that they need to lead you effectively, and your need for solitude is going to be attractive because it will make them crave you more. When you’re going to meet them, you might be going through a period during which everything fell apart and you’re a bit guarded, and wounded. I believe that they’ll have gone through something like this and will still be going through this period of extreme changes, and falls too so they’re going to be wounded and guarded too but meeting each other is only going to cause things to fall apart harder. Even if your physical and emotional world had changed in many ways, you both were deeply stuck in your own ways and meeting each other may cause resistance but will somehow still bring about changes intensely and easily. It is not going to be easy, it will be very hard but it will just happen easily after meeting each other despite any pain or intensity is what I meant. They’re going to love you and find everything about you to be very attractive. They will have experienced intensity with you and will have witnessed you undergo such intense experiences, such falls, and instability and come out of it. They will also feel a sense of familiarity and connection with you, having seen you through such changes that it will feel very deep because even they themself will have experienced such intensity and changed as well. There is a chance that some of you will go through a no contact period before getting together officially. Whether that happens or not, they’ll remember you as being very defensive, wounded and guarded, and they’ll have been that way too but you’ll both have changed, and grown, and the changes will be all thanks to you. In your connection with each other, once you’re finally officially together, you’re going to have a lot of strength and resilience, and will not be willing to let the connection go just because troubles occur. You’re going to push forward stubbornly and courageously, wanting things to work. The thing about connections is that you cannot make excuses. You either make it work or you don’t. “Life happens sometimes” okay, life will continue happening, will you abandon them again and again? Blame the connection and yourselves, not life. Knowing that you’re willing to fight for the connection and truly try, they’re going to be able to do so too, making you both a power couple. It’s not going to be 50-50, 60-40 or anything, it’s going to be 100-100 from both sides. Emotionally, they will have changed so much because of you but also not, you will also have changed so much but also not. It’s like, you’ll either still feel young with and towards each other, having seen each other at such intense, and dramatic yet young times. This does not have to mean that you’ll meet your spouse young, even if you meet them in your 30s or 40s, you’re going to be younger than when you’ll have spent years together. You’re going to have internally changed a lot and so will they, even externally actually but with each other, there’s still going to be a lot of drama. However, there’s also going to be a place to rest at, a person who is a sanctuary and feels like a safe haven :,).

You’re going to act very intensely with them, bringing out an equally intense side of them, there’s going to be a lot of stubbornness but oh cara mia, how they’ll love you. You are going to cause them a lot of turmoil and make them experience a lot of drama, and intensity but they’re going to share something real with you because of this. You’re going to cause them to feel very mentally vulnerable and vice versa, and this will cause you both to grow individually, as well as develop deep intimacy. You’re going to have them on your mind and in your heart even when they’re away, and will not do anything to breach your connection. The intimacy you both share and the trust you’ll have is something that you’ll not even think about breaking because you are going to be fine with being alone but if there is a genuine connection, that’s all you’ll need and it will be just them that you’ll share such a thing with. They’ll share this sentiment and you’ll have the realest connection ever in which you both grow, avoid showing vulnerabilities and changing but end up deeply changing, and showing your vulnerabilities. Things will be dramatic and intense but you’ll both be stubborn, and determined to make things work no matter how much you may get on each other’s nerves sometimes. You’ll love, adore and desire each other so much. I’m not sure if I expressed the “no matter how much you change, you won’t change” part correctly but what I mean is that they’ll still see you as that vulnerable baby that was going through hell and was overwhelmed no matter how much time passes by. Yes, they’ll see you as who you are in the present too but they’ll be very soft with you because they’ll remember the past soft yet wounded and ‘trying to be hard’ side of you. They’ll also remember how vulnerable, chaotic and intensely they felt, and changed so they’ll feel young and I keep on hearing ‘like a child’. They’ll feel so vulnerable yet so manly yet so fragile yet so strong yet so soft yet so authentic yet so changed with you. They’ll also see you as being the same way with them. How could they not find you attractive? They love you in every way. Oh my god, I’m crying. There may be this thing in which you’re overly submissive with other people which is why you push all your intense energies on them anyway but they’re going to see how meek you tend to act with others and will fiercely protect, and stand up for you. “What did you say to my wife?” “Don’t talk to my wife like that.” “Apologise, right now.” “On that gentle body of yours, I want to fall. Forgetting everything for a while, I want to get lost. Even if it’s just a few steps I want to walk with you, in the depths, I want to dive and see. Your arrival in my life has caused a different effect, look into my eyes, you’re going to clearly see, your own name. Even the fate that won’t bend in my will, must not be deaf. This is my oath to you, I will never leave your side. Whether we have to laugh or cry, it wouldn’t matter. The steps that we are taking together, will not divert for as long as I live.” “Be it joy or sorrow, I’m going to be with you. Whenever you need my support. I can’t love anyone else the way I love you. These are my last words.”

[cibulovychleba]

To any kcd and hansry enjoyers coming across this post who have seen kcd only in English, I need you to know what you're missing.

Hans Capon is in Czech called Jan Ptáček

Jan has a few name variations in Czech, each less formal (and each more unserious, in my opinion). Like if you're called Jan that's on you IDs etc, but your family and friends might just call you Honza, if you prefer it

The Jan scale goes from Jan > Honza > Jenda > honorable mention Janek, but I'm not sure if this variant is relevant right now

And guess what, Henry calls Hans by these variations, which is so precious to me. Yes, Hans is a noble and yes, Henry refers to him as his lord, but he also calls him Jenda, which is very much giving village boy energy, Jenda the stable boy or something. I think it really shows, on another level, how familiar and close they are with each other, and how the relationship shifts in kcd2, how Hans is becoming Henry's closest first, his lord second, how they are on the same level now, in comparison with kcd1, where they tiptoe in some dialog options around Henry keeping his distance and Hans encouraging him to treat him less formally and rewarding when Henry actually talks back.

Side note, I'm glad at least Henry has available name variant in English people who know him use, as well as in Czech (Jindřich and Jindra – Henry and Hal)

And a cherry on top, the situations when Henry uses a less formal variant of Hans' name are rare, but one of those situations that I've seen in someone else's playthrough was specifically the march to Nebakov turned ambush. When you're attacked and fight back you get periodically prompted to follow Hans and defend him, but if you can't find him, Henry will call out and use Jenda variant. And when Hans gets knocked out and Henry finds him in dirt before facing Žižka, he kneels down to him and calls him Jan, then Ptáček, and when nothing seems to work, he calls him Honza. Which makes me think this is something Henry's mind does when everything goes to shit and he's desperate and the closest person he has left and who he loves is in danger and so he reaches, asking Hans to come back to him, not as a noble with unfinished responsibilities, but simply as his Honza.

And I'm totally normal about that.

Beside all of this

I adore Tom McKay's voice and performance, but also Richard Wágner is so good as Henry, and, his words not mine, his Henry sounds much more sillier, which is a delight. And this is such a Czech-specific appreciation, but kcd2 has many iconic Czech actors and it's honestly so amusing to both see and hear them in a video game.

[unluckilyimnot]

Bed chem – trafalgar law

You have nightmares and happen to bump into your captain in the middle of the night. ~2k

Note: first one piece post, not the last, i just restart reading it. made this late last night. My bsf told me it was nice so here it is

main m.list | m.list | rules

It was the middle of the night when you woke up from yet another nightmare. You’re gasping for air, having a hard time collecting your thoughts and grounding yourself. Tears peak at the corner of your eyes – you need to get away from this feeling. So you get up, not bothering to put some pants on based on the hour and go looking for a glass of water. Chills can be seen on your arms, but you swear yourself you’ll be quick. You walk fast around the ship you know now like the back of your hand, you’re not really looking, not bothering turning the light on – until you hit into someone right in front of the kitchen.

“Shit.” You cursed before you can even make sense of who’s in front of you. He turned on the light, that way can finally see your captain, bare chest, making his way to the kitchen as well – you figured. If you had a hard time grounding yourself, hitting your nose right in Law’s chest was very efficient. You didn’t mention how he’s dressed, neither does he for you. There’s just a knowing look between you two.

“Couldn’t sleep too ?” you ask, walking in the kitchen and getting your needed glass of water while he took an apple.

“No.” He waited a moment, enough for you to finish your glass in one go, before asking, absently. “Nightmares ?”

There’s a long silence, more comfortable than you’d expected. He knows what he’s talking about, you don’t need to hear him saying it – you just know. That’s probably not the first time he hears you wandering around the Polar Tang at night, and it’s certainly not the first time you hear him either. You’re always awake around the same hours, but it’s the first time you ran into each other.

“Yes.” You answer in the same tone.

He nods, taking a knife, then sits at the table. There’s chills on his back as well, but he doesn’t seem to care. You look away quickly, not wanting to face him when you just checked him out. You pulled another glass from the shelf, filling them both before sitting next to him. You lean slowly on the table ; your hands couldn’t reach the other side, but you still liked to try. You don’t really know why you sat next to him when you usually don’t even bother to check on him, but finding yourself in the same room as him, in the middle of the night, felt a little intimate. You liked it : sitting in silence, giving him a glass of water he didn’t ask for. It felt right.

Without a word, Law handed you an apple’s slice. You looked at it for a second, blinking twice before taking it. You took a bite, eyes glimmering at the sweet taste before he ate one himself. It goes on for a while. Law gave you another one after finishing his, and so on, until the apple was done.

“You want more ?” he asked roughly, his voice was deeper than usual from the late hour. When you shook your head he got up and threw it away, leaving the knife and both glasses  in the sink and leaned on the counter. You knew he was staring at your back, probably dying to ask something, just like you, but wouldn’t dare. Then he moves again, his hand brushing along your shoulders.

“Come with me,” he whispers, as if talking would push you over the edge. It wouldn’t, but you didn’t say anything. You look up at him, not knowing where this was going. A small frown formed on your face, making him roll his eyes.

“I’m not gonna eat you,” he snored before patting your shoulder gently.

You got up this time, following him in the dark hallway to his cabin. You stopped by the door, not daring to take a step ahead. There’s a twisted feeling in your guts, you’re not sure you can walk through the door and then leave the same. Law turns back to look at you.

“Let’s stay awake together, if neither of us can sleep,” he clears things out quickly, of course, but it still feels weird. Yet, you take that step and walk into his cabin as he closes the door behind you.

You don’t really know what to do at first, and now you feel really self-aware ; you regret the small pair of shorts you could’ve easily put on. Noticing you fidgeting with the hem of your shirt, he showed you his blanket, authorizing you to lay in his bed as he puts on a shirt before sitting at his desk. So you do. Let the warmth engulf you, drowning in his scent – you feel safe, finally, and your body understood it faster than you because you yawned quietly.

You're laying on your side, rolled into his blanket, your voice barely above a whisper. “Can I sleep here ?”

“Sure,” he said softly after a moment, you can tell he wants to ask something else but isn’t sure. You fight to keep your eyes open for a few more minutes.

“Do you mind if I join ?”

“No.” You didn’t hesitate, maybe because you’re already half asleep. “It’s your bed.”

You hear him chuckles, but it’s far away already. Your eyes close slowly and you hold the sheet a little closer. You’re not even fully asleep when you feel his arms pulling you up and bringing you up to the pillow before he lays next to you. There’s space between you, but he’s radiating so much heat, you’re drawn to him like a moth to light. You don’t remember touching him, not really. You think you do but you can imagine it totally as well. You fall asleep with the weird feeling of his arm around your waist.

When you wake up the next morning, the sun is piercing through the round porthole falling right to your face. You roll away from it, hitting Law's arm. He’s covering his eyes but slowly moving as well. Your eyes are still half closed when you catch his also half asleep eyes. He groaned, stretching his arms above his head even if his limbs hit the wall. You pull the blanket closer to your face, hiding the small blush you can feel coming dangerously to your face.

He’s hot. His hair is a mess, his eyes shine with sleep after he yawns. It feels like cheating, seeing him so vulnerable. He doesn’t say anything, neither do you, not yet. He gets up before you, only putting pants on before giving you a shirt – longer than the one you wear at the moment, so you can go back to your cabin and change.

“I’ll make your coffee,” he says, finally, his voice still deep and rough from sleep.

Something flips inside you. You bury your head in your pillow before nodding. You hear the door close behind him and sigh, before groaning in the pillow. You take your head out of it, gasping for air a little, feeling so flustered. It feels weird thinking about it, you don’t even dare talking about it ! But it was nice. You slept well, you were hot all night, not curled up on yourself. It was comforting having him close, being able to touch him and hear him breathe. You shake your head. You don’t want to think about it.

But you do. It doesn’t leave your mind all day. You kept thinking about his arm around your waist you’re sure you didn’t imagine. How you just fell on him in the middle of the night, how he wanted to sleep at the same time as you, how you two woke up at the same time… You couldn’t help but think you two match each other too much.

Of course you noticed how well rested he looked as well, it didn’t go unnoticed by anyone in fact. He’s less on edge, a bit less firm in his words, he laughed at one of Sachi’s jokes – almost made the man choke on air. It wasn’t just you, he slept way better as well.

Yet neither of you mentioned it. You go on your days like you usually do, without looking at each other more than necessary, without lingering touch. It didn’t change anything, after all. Right ? It was a one time thing, you wanted to believe it.

Until you woke up again in the middle of the night later the same week. You went for a glass of water, like usual, but this time you stayed a little longer in the kitchen, waiting. You felt silly, but you kept your eyes on the ocean on the other side of the porthole with your glass still in hand. Until you hear him walking around the corner, the barely marked stop in his track when he sees the lights on before you imagine him walking in.

“You again ?” he chuckles but there’s no fun in his voice, only a strange softness you didn’t expect. Or maybe you did. You don’t want to think about it. You turned his way, smiling at him.

“Who else ?”

He’s still bare chest, he can still see the beginning of your ass because your shirt barely covers it but you don’t mind. He walks to you, stealing your glass from your hand before filling it and drinking.

“Nightmares ?” It’s your time to ask now as you stare softly his way. He turned around and leaned on the counter next to you, crossing his arms.

“Didn’t have time to fall asleep yet,” he cleared, but didn’t say he didn’t have some. You whine at his words.

“It’s three in the morning, captain,” you nagged. “You should try at least.”

“’Cause you do ? Then why are you here, almost every night, at the same time ?” there’s a mocking smirk on his lips – he’s not buying it.

“Well, yes, I do sleep. I’m just the best at it,” you pout a little, before laughing lightly. There’s nothing to laugh about, but the conversation made you laugh anyway. You miss the light in his eyes, and you for sure would never think his heart would ache at the sound. And yet. 

“We have a really good bed chem, Law,” you confessed after some time. You’re now leaned on the counter, leaving your head on your arms. He doesn’t dare look at you, you guess, because he’s suddenly stiff beside you. “We wake up at the same hours in the night. Fell asleep at the same time the other night, and woke up together as well,” you comment, not sure if you expected him to speak or not. “It felt nice,” you confessed, finally. “I slept well that night.”

He can see you half naked by now, but that’s only fair in your opinion. His eyes linger on your for a second before looking away and finishing his glass. “Yeah, me too.”

Your heart skips a beat at his word and you can’t help the smile on your lips.

“Can I sleep with you tonight ?” you ask, confidence showing up out of nowhere.

“Sure.”

He’s distant, not looking your way anymore as he pushes himself off the counter but he waits for you by the door, and he lets you choose the pillow you prefer. And he pulls you to his chest when you turn your back to him after saying goodnight this time, holding your waist so close to him you can barely move. But it’s fine, you’re not arguing that, not when you fell asleep so easily ; not when all your nightmares go away when he’s near.  

I might do another part, idk yet. Ace is gonna have his version too hihi. Let's me know if you liked it!

[owastie]

closed eyes robert/bob reynolds x gn!reader (fluff) synopsis: bob realizes why you like to hang out on the roof when everyone heads in for the night m.list \ wc: 1k

   your feet dangle off the side of the watchtower, a pair of earbuds in as you watch new york's nightlife. neon lights illuminate nearby bodegas and gas stations, warm colored lights filling bedrooms and living rooms, life filling those spaces. people scatter around the streets, some in clumps, while others walk lonesome. all looking like ants from where you’re sitting, all with their own lives, all needing constant protection.

  taking in a deep breath, you let it sit in your chest for a minute. thinking of every moment that you’ve had to keep your concentration on everything all at once. where you’ve had to inhibit yourself just to protect those around you. slowly breathing outward, you begin to shed the responsibilities and weight you carry. the cold feeling of the building’s glass attacks your hands as you lean forward.

  light bubbles beneath the surface of your skin, pushing through with every breath you take. closing your eyes, you let the music overwhelm your thoughts, finally letting go. the light shines brightly off of your skin, escaping through every pore and follicle. it reflects off of the building’s many surfaces, becoming unbearable to anyone who dare gets close. 

  opening your eyes, you look out towards the horizon, the light, a mere glow from your perspective. it’s always beautiful when you know where to look. which is why you’ve started spending every evening there. you can let yourself go, completely let loose any concentration you were forced to hold in.

  leaning back against the building, you spread your arms out against the roof, taking in slow breaths. everything is calm, quiet (despite the city’s constant noise). until you hear the distinct click of the elevator and the god awful music that no one can seem to get rid of. your eyes flutter open, body tensing as you sit up.

  looking towards the elevator, you quickly dim the light emanating from your skin. as the glow dims from around your eyes, you’re able to finally tell who’s standing by the elevator, bob. he’s in his pajamas, hands fidgeting in front of him. he stands there for a moment, simply staring at you, unsure what to say.

  “bob?”

  “uh yeah, hi. i thought i’d come check on you, since you come up here every night,” he steps towards you, not quite getting halfway before realizing what he was actually doing, “but i’m probably bothering you… i can head back down, sorry.”

  “it’s okay, i wouldn’t mind some company tonight,” your shoulders shrug absentmindedly, knowing you did mind, but you couldn’t turn him away, not when he stands there so sweetly. 

  bob makes his way over to you, the thick gusts of wind throwing his hair around, pajamas pressed against his body. he leaves footprints against the tile roof, stepping up to you, he looks over the edge of the building. clenching his jaw, he sits beside you, pulling his legs close to his body, crossing them. “thanks for checking on me,” looking over at him, you nod lightly.

  “of course, you just always came up here. i know i like to have my alone time sometimes, but also it’s nice to have someone there. someone to talk to,” bob nods with you, looking out towards the city, his heart rate rising.

  looking out with him, the calm returns, yet your mind still races. your skin fluctuates with a small, rhythmic wave. this is your time to relax, to not care about caging yourself for anyone else, “right, yeah… that’s really sweet of you bob. this is always a really calming time for me.”

  “is that why you were so bright? i noticed when i came up that you were you know, shining brighter than i’ve ever seen,” bob questions, turning his head so he can meet your eyes.

  “you’re awfully inquisitive tonight.”

  “sorry, i didn’t mean-”

  “i’m messing with you bob, it’s okay. i usually come up here so i can let everything go. to suppress the physical attributes of my abilities, i have to focus on it. and it’s far too bright for others to just walk around, completely unshielded. so every night i come up and just forget about it,” you look over at him, lips forming a crooked smile.

  his eyebrows furrow, clearly feeling some sort of mixed emotions. biting the inside of his mouth, bob tries to think of something to say, now feeling like he’s encroaching on your personal space. “i can look away, if you want.”

  “that’s not nearly enough, i mean it’s bright.”

  “then i’ll close my eyes and turn my head the other way,” bob shrugs his shoulders, hands fidgeting again.

  biting your lip, you shake your head, trying not to let him see your rolling eyes. taking in a deep breath, you give him a short nod. it’s a quick movement, but enough of one to give him the answer he needed. turning away, he holds his head down, eyes clenched shut. smiling to yourself, you feel your shoulders drop. 

  closing your eyes, you let every ounce of weight on your shoulders melt away. thinking of the crowd below, of bob beside you, you slowly open your eyes to see a familiar glow within your sight. it illuminates his side, moving through every lock of hair. you let out a breath of relief before noticing his hand sticking out towards you.

  he’s still not looking, but his hand still reaches out for your presence. smiling widely, knowing no one else can see, you reach your hand for his, wrapping it within yours. his hand is soft, gentle. you had never held his hand before, never felt the electric spark that runs between your fingers, and it’s one of the most powerful touch you’ve had in a while.

  “oh, you can also talk if you want, about anything.”

  “right, i don’t know why i thought that would do something,” bob’s laughter is quiet, still loud enough to make your heart stumble, “so, how’s training been?”

[ghelullu]

Berlin 2025 skeletour recap!

Tl;dr: no underwear confirmed by showing off ✨hair💫, continues tradition of papa giving Berlin extra love

More under the cut

Peacefield live is always so so so good, god what a great opener

One (1) song in and papa already showed skin

He's gotten much more creature since I last saw him in Frankfurt and I love thst for him

Spent a lot of time being in a creature competition with mostly rain, but also cirrus

He's also become much more of a diva in some interactions with ghouls and the audience, also after he did some vocals, I think it was the high bit at the end of spirit, very well and the audience cheered, he had this smug face (good for him and also deserved, his vocals are exceptional)

They played cmls and ftpttp again

He was very smiley today!!!

Dew is much more mobile now, still has the boot of course, but walks/limps around on stage a lot and is almost back to his usual little shit self

Phantom still carries the show, once again: he's so good!

Rain is very creature, headbangs so hard thst his headpiece flops around; did a very funny tired-of-your-shit bit when dew does his annoying guitar thing at the end of ritual

Cirrus is the queen, lots of tongue during her keytar solo, we stan. Her and dews sexy instrumental in umbra is SO well executed, they harmonise so so well

The other ghoulettes are very cute and joined dew again at the front of the stage, the cowbell still rules

silly Papa dance during TFIAL

The no jacket, only the silky shirt look for TFIAL is deadly and he KNOWS it. People need to stop the "perpetua is shy" thing, he's hot shit and he knows

He did quite a bit of fingering during cirice bye

And ALSO during dathoml (towards dew, too and dew did some filthy guitaring at him in response, sluts, both of them). German audience loved the song and he let us sing bits of it successfully!

Papa goes through it during satanized, especially during the guitar solo, but also the Latin part (featuring monkbias now on the screen??? Big cheer from the audience)... BUT I think he got the paralysed, laicised etc thing correctly this time???

Oh BTW the teleprompter is back, bht being the showman he is, he didn't look at it a lot tbh, he's VERY busy interacting with the audience and it's so nice to see

The way papa raises from below the stage with the cowbell raised above his head triumphantly before snapping out of it nd staring at it confused kills me

What also killed me was how he stared into my eyes again at the beginning of umbra for a LONG time and I just can't handle this, riperoni

Year zero live. Nuff said. Wonderful experience always. No serpent deceiver though, but he did count oddly

He was rather chatty today, he spoke some German again, talked about that he loves Berlin and thst he of course wasn't here before, but the other guys were. Mentioned the first show some 15 years ago and asked if someone was there (a guy cheered and was declared the boss now). Tf truly seems to enjoy Berlin, he always has very warm words for it (beyond the usual pleasantries singers always say for the place they're currently playing in)

Ktgg featured very bouncy papa again, and lots of skin when the shirt went up with his arms, he seemed to have a ton of fun, which is always nice to see

He blew a perpetua cosplayer a big prominent kiss which was hilarious

I think this is a good moment to mention that his shirt goes higher up than usual when he really lifts his arms and leans back and thst his already very low riding pants slip even lower all the time and combining these two things ended up showing us definite proof that there's no underwear anywhere, yeah, uhm. So. There was hair.

Absolute slut.

Taint tickling is BACK for mummy dust

He started mummy dust with thrusts right away, touched the ghulge intensely, deep thrusts for the usual thrusty bit, all around very horny, very growly, nice.

He did the school night bit again but didn't take into account that Berlin has a holiday tomorrow and was like "are you fucking with me????" 😂(same tbh bc I also only learned about the holiday today); always impressed with how good his German pronunciation is, he said Mittwoch perfectly

I can't express my love for monstrance clock as a closer enough. It was my first ghost song ever and it's such a fantastic closer with everyone singing it. Truly wonderful. And horny.

His encore speech was very funny, I forgot almost all of it sadly, but he mocked us in a fake German accent for being predictable and then said they're not like other bands, they don't have any good stuff for an encore left, they'll now play some improvised jazz rap or krautrock (I would kill for him to perform krautrock pls), he really was so relaxed and chatty!

Bouncy papa for Dance Macabre and we got a single "wobble!", more skin, more touching, more dying (I was the one dying)

Dew and Papa hugged before Squammer and Dew squeezed and kinda stroked his waist a bit during the little speech thing he does there (also pointing out Dews boot situation during the show!)

Squammer ended not with the long note but "right here, right... That's it, we are done Berlin" (or something like that, I don't remember the exact words but it was so funny)

Honestly these shows are so much fun, there's so much going on, they have figured out almost all the technical issues, it's so so good

He let the audience sing multiple bits, which is incredibly brave with German audiences, we are notoriously horrible and shy, but it worked WELL! Proud of us

I wish they'd turn up papas mic during some songs more and ESPECIALLY during his talking bits bc often you can't really hear him (often the drums are still going etc, it's very difficult to understand what he says sometimes)

I managed to smuggle a 750ml bottle into the venue in my bra so that's my big brag of the night, it saved my life - only for then to be killed by multiple papa eye contact incidents and the....... Other situation

[becauseheartsgetbroken-hs]

Do you have any harry fics you’d recommend on here and on wattpad?

you asked for fic recs and i took the assignment very seriously (maybe too seriously? lol) my friend so here's a list that i think you'll vibe with:

on wattpad:

duplicity by happydays1d (i know, i know i always talk about it but this one has me absolutely feral. 😭 it’s dark, dramatic, and addictive in a “just one more chapter at 2AM” kind of way lol. but what really got me? the character development. 🥹 like, watching these characters unravel and rebuild themselves is truly amazing. i’ve been thinking about them way more than is normal hehe - plus duplicity harry is my pookie 🥹)

complicity by happydays1d (it's sequel to duplicity - if duplicity wrecked me, complicity came back for the emotional leftovers lol)

*also bonus recs if you find yourself enjoying a julez (happydays1d) binge reading (like me):

malignant, hideaway, devotion (it's her earlier work and while they have more like a "chaotic fanfic energy" vibe, they’re a blast to read. also i think it's super fascinating to see her growth as an author - major props to her! 💞)

*moving on*

devil's due by petit_cerise (okay, so i didn’t connect with this one as deeply as the others - but that’s 100% a me thing. a ton of people love it, and i still had a great time reading it.🥰 it's beautifully written and the drama is like on fire.)

flower girl by @sushirrrry (my bestie laur @daydreaming-laur recommended it to me and it’s such a beautiful story: soft in some ways, gut-punching in others and the characters feel so real)

*also these are on my TBR and I’m dying to get to them, i just haven’t had the time (or emotional strength) yet lol:

aerial by peanutboyfriend (this one’s been haunting my TBR thanks to my friend dreea @fkinavocado , she has amazing taste and if she says it’s great, i believe her. 🙌)

nine blue signs by littledovedoll (someone recommended this to me on here a couple months ago and it’s been quietly sitting on my list ever since. i haven’t read it yet, but my friend laur @daydreaming-laur has and she loved it - and honestly, if laur’s into it, that’s all the endorsement i need 🥰)

stall by MysteryMixtapes (this one’s is also a classic but i haven’t read it yet - i know, i know - but it’s been on my radar forever. everyone who's read it seems obsessed, and the hype has me very curious.)

cherry by fuxkingharrry (everyone says it’s so well written and basically great. so yeah, i have to read it!)

on tumblr (a mix of old loves and new finds):

okay so some of these are like classics 💕 (the kind that stay with you forever and you come back to them every now and then) and others are more recent gems i’ve come across. they’re a mix of series, one shots and blurbs bc i didn't know what you'd preferred:

404 by @freedomfireflies (well obviously, this wouldn’t be a proper rec list if i didn’t mention @freedomfireflies 💖 her writing just hits! there’s always so much heart, tension, and ✨vibe✨ in her words. this one is one of my absolute favs - it’s sharp, emotional, and laced with just the right amount of angst. the writing is so atmospheric, and the tension? *chef’s kiss*.)

pillow talk, the playboy, the angel and the fae by @freedomfireflies as well. (well she has this uncanny ability to get inside her characters’ heads and make you feel everything right along with them and basically if she wrote it, I’m reading it. that's it.)

butterfly boy by @looselucy (okay, butterfly boy is everything. i’m talking laughing, crying, full-on emotional rollercoaster. it's just so well written with so much heart. amazing, truly!)

a toast to the future by @narryffdreaming (toast to the future is one of those fics that’s just.. wow 🤯 dani has this rare talent for making her characters feel so real, like you can practically hear their thoughts. it's actually mind-blowing how she can dive into those layers of complexity while still making it feel so natural.)

teach me by @jarofstyles (listen- teach me is so hot like really hot 🔥 the writing is so smooth and it really sets the mood.)

off limits by @harryslittlefreakk (fire. this one has that perfect mix of steamy tension and just a hint of angst that makes the whole thing like so hot.)

enigma by @heartateasee (the angst? top-tier. the misunderstandings? so deliciously painful. the tension? you could cut it with a knife. loved it.)

talk nerdy to me also by @heartateasee (what can i say? HOT, HOT, HOT.)

no loss by @adorebeaa (like, flirty banter? great. sexual tension? off the charts. would read it again in a heartbeat- she absolutely nailed the vibe✨)

hawthorn also by @adorebeaa (hawthorn is like watching a movie in your head like it's amazing)

truth or dare and sex tutor by @gurugirl (her writing feels always so effortless. she just knows exactly how to make every story hit just right.)

something old by @didhewinkback (i read it a while ago and i’m seriously thinking it might be time for a reread - that’s how much i loved it. honestly, it’s the kind of story that stays with you long after you’ve finished it, and i can’t wait to dive back into it again)

harry and Y/N are in the same ballet class, and they hate each other by @jawllines (let’s just say that this one had me feeling things. like, I’m over here blushing and squirming in my seat because that harry? holy hell.. 😩 he had me weak in the knees.)

oh also this one by @jarofstyles (it had me blushing and kicking my feet - loved it.)

press play by @cloudyluun (well, if you like your fics with a big dose of passion and intensity, this one will definitely leave you flushed in the best way hehe)

his angel by @ghstyles (it's the perfect mix of a little dark and a little soft hehe it keeps you totally hooked!)

player, do anything, make her regret it and valerie by @watchmegetobsessed (her writing is sharp, creative, and emotionally rich. every story feels fresh. she’s just so talented.)

it's you by @ijustmissyouraccenths (the writing is so good, the vibes were on point and now i’m super curious to check out more of her work. definitely keeping an eye on her stuff from now on.)

okay so… i definitely got carried away. like, hard. 🥲 i started this thinking i’d rec a few fics and i ended up here lol i had so much fun putting this together (shoutout to 1d for soundtracking the entire chaos and keeping me emotionally charged through it all lol) i know i forgot some amazing stories and authors, and for that i'm so sorry! seriously though, how lucky are we to have writers who pour so much talent into these stories? 🥹

anyway, hope you find something here that makes you feel things or just gives you a really good time! 😍 let me know what you think, and happy reading friend! ❤️

[atimelessheaven]

Can you please do a fic where Paige and azzi have a teen daughter

LETTER TO MOM

a pazzi series.

hey guysss! sorry ive been lacking on writing recently:/ finals, and life in general are kicking my ass. but here is this! i’ve decided to turn this request into a little series. as of now im not sure if it will be 2 or 3 parts… maybe more? idk. we will see!

fluff ◡̈

warning: mixed pov’s, probably some grammar errors (please ignore them!), and a mediocre plot. that’s all i think! let me know if i missed any.

enjoy!

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

backstory: iris was born in 2027. the year of this story is 2041- making iris 14, paige 37, azzi 36. they have been in the league for 16, and 15 years. paige is still on the wings, azzi plays for the valkyries.

iris pov:

today has been tough.

i woke up late. i slipped in the shower. leaving my ankle all swollen, it hurts to move it. i made a bad grade on my science test, and one of my coaches yelled at me for being “lazy” i was in pain, and i just felt exhausted.

i am exhausted.

i feel like i can’t move.

it feels like i can’t even breath without someone getting mad at me.

life has just been hard.

to top it off i miss my mom.

i could never, and would never admit how much it really effects me. she’d feel bad, and i don’t want to put that burden on her.

since mom, and mama have jobs on two different sides of the country they decided it would be best if i stayed with mama during season, in san francisco.

it’s the longest five months of my life.

sure i see mom every now and then during the season, but it’s just not the same.

sometimes i just want to give her a hug.

have her hold me when i’m sad.

come home from school and tell her all about my day, every little detail.

or when i have something really exciting to tell her, i can’t see her live reaction unless it’s facetime.

that is not the same. not even close.

it’s all just caught up to me. right about now i just want my mom to hold me.

since that’s not possible right now, i’ve resorted to the next best thing-

crying myself to sleep wearing moms hoodie that smells like her, holding my build a bear that has her voice in it.

sure it might seem dramatic, she hasn’t died or anything, but if you were in my shoes, you’d understand.

azzi pov:

iris has been home from school for three hours now, and she’s been awfully quiet.

i mean the girl hasn’t even came into the kitchen to get a snack.

something is up with my kid.

that child is ravenous after school, i need to find out what’s wrong a-s-a-p as possible (hehehehe)

i walk to her room and knock, getting no response.

typically i’d just leave her alone but i just feel off, she’s acting off. so i go in.

when i walk in i immediately just freeze mid stride into her room to access the scene in front of me.

my sweet iris girl asleep wearing her moms hoodie, holding her comfort bear with my wife’s voice inside, a wet pillow and tear stained cheeks.

welp.. my mama heart just shattered.

i walked over and gave her a forehead kiss, taking a picture to send my wife. then left her room.

it’s about 9:00 for paige, but she still responds to the picture i sent her relatively fast considering i know she’s tired after a long day of training and would be going to sleep very soon.

from paige- “well i am now officially going to join her in the crying myself to sleep club. i miss my girls. so sad my sweet baby is struggling with me being away. i feel awful.”

right as i go to reply i hear iris headed into the kitchen where i am, so i quickly respond with a “we miss you too.”

“hi babe, how was school today?” i say as i catch iris having to physically hold her up while she completely melted into me.

“i don’t wanna talk about it.” iris mumbles, voice shakey.

“that’s okay, i’m here when you’re ready. you’ll never be forced to talk when you don’t wanna, but i do need you to recognize mom, and i are always here to listen when you’re ready, okay?”

“i know, i just..” iris began but decided against it, not wanting to be a burden.

“you just what?” azzi said encouraging her to finish her statement.

“i don’t want to be the bitchy teen who complains and makes life difficult when i’m so privileged. i mean i know you and mom have demanding jobs, and that it provides so many cool opportunities, but it’s also really hard sometimes. it’s hard having to travel around to a ton of places back to back, missing school, missing friends, missing the normalcy of a regular quiet life. on the flip side when im left behind with friends while yall go to games i feel lonely, not because i don’t like hanging out with my friends but because i miss my parents. you guys are my comfort people, i couldn’t do it without you. having mom be so far away for so long really takes a toll on me. and i promise you are enough and im not meaning you aren’t, but i just miss mom. i thought it would get easier as i got older having to be away from her, but if anything i think it’s gotten harder. i need my mom. i miss my mom. oh and also my day was just awful in general, and i was thinking about all of that and so i just starting spiraling.” iris says pretty quickly, tears showing in her eyes once again. azzi can tell this has been eating at her for a while.

“okay so how about we go get ready for bed, you can lay with me and we can finish this conversation alright?” azzi says pulling away from iris making her stand on her own.

“okay, but can we not tell mom?” iris asks quietly as they start walking towards azzi’s room.

azzi froze. “well uhm i might have taken a picture of you asleep earlier so she already knows sorta what’s going through your head. if you don’t want to explain it to her i’m not going to force you, but i think she’d like to know what’s going on completely if you’re willing to let her in on it. can i ask why you don’t want to tell her?”

“well i love mom, but i know how she is. you do too. she’s going to feel guilty when it’s not even her fault and i don’t wanna stress her out. iris says looking at azzi

“you make a compelling case, but i want to offer my counter argument. as much as that is true, i think she would feel worse if you didn’t tell her what was bothering you, and she found out it was for her sake. that would make her feel more terrible. also we both know she’s going to ask you about that picture i sent, you can’t lie then. she reads you too well. you aren’t slick enough for that.” azzi says laughing thinking of all the times her daughter has given herself away with her terrible lying skills. let’s just say she shouldn’t play poker, or ever commit a crime.

she laughs along with her mom, “you’re right, i should tell her. i just don’t know how i should. i don’t want her to see me cry, or worse she cries. i’d feel so bad if mom cried over this. mama what do i do?” iris says suddenly panicking at the thought of making her mom cry.

“okay calm down, you don’t have to explain it directly to her, you could write her a letter like you used to do as a kid, i think that would cheer her up. very sentimental, and nostalgic. perfect. she’ll love it, and you don’t have to show any emotions you don’t want to, just write what you want.”

“wait that’s a great idea. i can be like so vulnerable, and she’ll never have to see me cry, and i won’t have to see her initial reaction.” iris says feeling so confident in this idea.

“okay okay, now let’s for real get ready for bed, go lay in my room and watch a movie. how does that sound?” azzi says as she starts walking to her room grabbing iris’ hand to take her along with her.

*about ten minutes later they’re both snuggled up in bed watching tangled*

“oh iris look, paige is facetiming us!” azzi says excitedly as she answers the call, while pausing the movie.

“hi my babies! i miss you guys so much!” paige immediately says as the call connects. “omg iris i saw the cutest dog earlier and forgot to send you the picture i took, i just knew you’d love it.” is how paige started their nightly catch up of their day conversation.

“awww i wanna see the puppy, i wish i could’ve been there to see it in person.” iris replies, lighting up at the idea of a cute puppy. “mom can i get a puppy?”

“absolutely not. iris that would be a disaster. poor thing would either have to travel a lot, or stay behind with a pet sitter. not plausible sadly at the moment. maybe in the future! we can add it to our family bucket list!” paige says letting iris down as gently as possible, but trying to cheer her up in the moment.

“ugh. that’s so unfair, i would take it on walks and everything.” iris says grumbling. azzi just rolls her eyes staying out of the conversation.

“so what were you two up to before i called?” paige says curiously.

“TANGLED!” azzi, and iris respond at the same time.

“i should’ve known, you guys literally don’t know of any other movies.” paige says laughing a little at their excitement

“that’s so not true, we also watch zootopia.” iris responds in a matter of fact tone, like paige had just offended her with the movie comment. she’s very well versed in her disney movies.

“and hamilton.” azzi says agreeing with iris.

“okay, okay i get it. now i say you guys start it over, so we can press play at the same time and watch together!” paige suggests

*approximately 47 minutes into the movie iris was out cold.*

“paige, look.” azzi said getting her attention, turning the phone to show iris sound asleep on her shoulder.

“aww our little baby isn’t so little anymore is she?” paige says smiling at the sight of her peaceful daughter.

“i know. it’s crazy to think that just ten years ago all she cared about was if she could eat candy for breakfast, and wear her princess dresses in public, now she’s worried about our feelings, and feels like she’s carrying the world on her shoulders. i just wish i could save her from everything, especially her own mind sometimes.” azzi whispered to paige, while lovingly looking down at iris, gently rubbing her back.

“i love her just how she is, but i know she’s way too caring for this world. she has so much empathy. i don’t ever want it to hurt her. i just want to protect her from everything. she’s my baby.” paige says agreeing with azzi. “what happened earlier today? why was our baby so sad?” paige asks

“it has to do with her caring too much about our feelings over her own. she didn’t want me to tell you, but i can say you’ll find out very soon.” azzi says.

very soon.

[lemotmo]

Thoughts on 911 8x17...

Disclaimer: I am operating on 2 hours of sleep, because I watched 911 live and it airs at 2 am where I am. So please, do forgive any incoherency or inconsistency.

Okay, where to begin?

First things first: This truly felt like an episode of the 911 TV show I fell in love with all those years ago. It was THAT good. It NEEDED to be THAT good as well. The last two episodes were bad and we needed a winner. We got it. YAY!

There are so many things to talk about here.

One of the first things I noticed was that this episode was made up of family and found family.

We had 4 clear distinctive family groups:

1. Athena and the kids, with some Karen & Athena and Hen & Athena thrown into the mix.

2. Hen, Karen and the kids with (again) some Karen & Athena and Hen & Athena thrown into the mix.

3. Maddie, Chimney and the kids (no Jee, but their unborn child was there) with some Hen & Chimney thrown into the mix.

4. Buck, Eddie, Christopher and aunt Pepa with some Hen & Eddie and Karen & Eddie thrown into the mix.

(The rest of the post is under a cut, so I don't clog anyone's dash)

All of them were struggling with Bobby’s death in their own way. I’ll talk about all of them briefly, but I’ll dive deeper into the last one, since it’s about the Buckley-Diaz family and I love them:

1. Athena was trying to stay strong and she mostly succeeded, but she couldn’t hide her irrational anger at Chimney.

To be fair, I completely understand where she is coming from. It has to hurt to see Chimney running around, doing perfectly fine, when she lost her husband because he wanted to save his friend.

It isn’t fair to Chimney, but it’s understandable why she reacts that way.

I love how we saw her with Hen and Karen and how great their friendship is.

I love Athena when she has to respond to silly calls like the laundry call. Angela shines in scenes like that.

2. Hen is struggling with the whole captaincy thing. Part of her wants it, but another part doesn’t. I know she called the Chief that she doesn’t want the job, but I wonder if she won’t call him back to tell him she has changed her mind in 8x18?

Because if it isn’t Hen, then who?

Unless they find someone from outside of the 118 or Bobby comes back somehow? (Which I still believe is a big possibility.)

I don’t know…

I still think it might be Hen in the end. Even if Bobby does come back. He won’t want to be Captain anymore.

3. Poor Chimney. He didn’t ask Bobby to save him, but he feels guilty anyway. That has to hurt.

To be honest though, I think Bobby would have saved him even if he had been single with no kids. Bobby is just THAT kind of guy.

I love how we got to see Maddie supporting Chimney in this episode. This was something 8x16 lacked completely.

4. Ah. Wow. This episode really brought home once again just how magical and real the chemistry is between Buck and Eddie. Nothing feels forced which it did with other pairings this show has thrust upon us in the past.

Let’s break down the Buckley-Diaz family scenes chronologically:

A. The episode opening with Buck’s flashback. The way the lighting changed as soon as we flashed to the now. It went from warm and cozy to cold and sterile.

It’s interesting how this flashback was mainly focused on three people: Buck, Bobby and Eddie. Buck of course because he was the one daydreaming. Bobby for obvious reasons and Eddie because he hadn’t been in the fire station for a while, even when Bobby was still alive. They got most focus, which means that Buck isn’t just struggling with Bobby’s death, but also with Eddie’s imminent departure back to El Paso.

It also seems that a lot of the scenes in the fire station were cut. There was no talk with Gerrard… thank god. There was no grocery shopping and lots of take out in the fridge scene. It was definitely the right choice to cut those scenes.

B. Next up was the Hen, Karen and Eddie scene. This was very interesting. We opened on them talking about Buck. The way Eddie talks about Buck and how worried he is, has Karen asking the right questions here. He briefly touches on how he hadn’t spoken to Bobby in two weeks and there’s a bit of that Eddie guilt peeking through. It’ll explode in that later scene with Buck.

I also liked how Hen tried to reassure him that he was building a whole new life in El Paso and that was okay. It was obvious that Eddie didn’t want that at all. Being back in LA, being back ‘home’ as Karen repeated. (Which… I love Karen so much. She is soooo perceptive.)

LA is Eddie’s home, yes. But the way he talks about Buck all the time? This scene definitely implied that Eddie’s home isn’t just the city, the people and the 118. It’s specifically Buck.

C. The Buck confession scene was something all right. I was so surprised that it was Buck in that confessional though and not Eddie. But I guess it does make sense since Buck is trying to find Bobby in everything he does.

I love how he had his phone at the ready, because he had no idea what to say. Typically Buck! The way he felt so much like the Buck we know from previous seasons was so refreshing. He is struggling, but he is still very much the Buck we all fell in love with.

His ‘talk’ with Bobby was so beautiful. It felt so honest and raw. Oliver’s acting was on point here.

The way he is trying to honour Bobby’s last wish, trying to take care of everyone. And then Bobby’s sign! It’s such a Buck thing to believe that Bobby sent him the earthquake sign.

D. I love how Buck recognised the ‘dentist’ lady from that previous episode where she was blue. He has such a good memory.

E. Then we get to THAT Buddie scene. First of all, they are living the domestic dream together. Making arrangements on who is doing what, like going out for groceries. Love that!

The way Buck is obviously upset over Eddie going back to El Paso and the job offer. He is trying hard to be supportive, but by the tone of his voice we all know (Eddie included) that Buck isn’t all that happy about it.

The way they got into this argument, because Eddie didn’t tell Buck about the job offer and Buck found out through Ravi. It’s poetic. Eddie’s guilty little face and his ‘I was going to tell you.’ was sooooo husbands coded.

I love Eddie lashing out at Buck and using the same words from their previous fights: “You make it all about you.” It’s some kind of a defence mechanism, so he doesn’t have to deal with his own emotions. So he focuses on others and tries to hurt them, so he can forget about his own hurt for a while. It’s a classic avoidance technic. We’ve all been there.

It’s something that Eddie has done before with Buck, so no matter what happens on 911, we can always count on Buddie continuity.

Eddie knows that Buck has been spiralling, but he didn’t know how to break through. He’s upset, so he lashes out. It’s a human thing to do. So I better not see any people talking trash about Eddie and how he is evil and abusive for hurting Buck.

I already saw a few of those bad takes on Twitter. Mainly from the BT people though. Most of them want Eddie to stay as far away from Buck as possible, for obvious reasons. With Eddie there, T doesn’t stand a chance. So it’s mainly about that. But still… such a terrible take.

Have any of you ever been in a fight with someone you love before? This is the way it goes! You lash out to hurt the other person, because you are hurting as well. Eddie has no malicious intent here. He is just frustrated with himself. He doesn’t want to go back to El Paso, he wants to be in LA. He doesn’t really want the El Paso job either. He worries that Buck will spiral out of control when he’s gone. So what does he do? In true Eddie style, he lashes out.

What follows then is an absolute masterclass of acting by Ryan Guzman. Oh my fucking god! That man can ACT! He is so good! I’ve always known he was good, because we have seen flashes of brilliance like this before, but this one took the cake. He is waaaaay up there as one of the best actors on 911. Not even kidding about this. He is sooooo good. 😌😌😌

That hidden anger and guilt and the way he grabbed Buck, his face filled with despair and rage and… so many emotions all at the same time? The tears, the bending over the table, the hand gestures and him unable to look at Buck for too long… it was brilliant.

It was helped along with the wonderful writing, direction and cinematography of the scene. Oliver and Ryan both went with it and their natural chemistry shone. It was such a great parallel to the BT scene in 8x11, in the same kitchen. The way Tommy seems to avoid the confrontation by running away every single time things get real and how Eddie stands his ground, unwilling to leave and giving back to Buck as good as he can. It was poetic cinema. And in the same exact spot in the kitchen as well.

The flashback to Eddie getting that phone call broke me in a thousand tiny pieces. The way he broke down crying and how he explained the terror of having to tell your child another loved one died. Trust me… I’ve been there. Telling your kid that someone they loved died? It is even worse than having to deal with the grief yourself. You worry and fester on how you’ll tell them and how they’ll take the news. You just want to protect them from harm and you realise you can’t. It’s a terrible feeling. I felt for Eddie in that scene.

The way Ryan just broke down in tears and his ‘He saved my life’… man, so good.

And Buck just standing there, realising that Eddie was hurting as well, but he hadn’t shown it because that is what Eddie does. Oliver’s acting here was also on point. His facial expressions when Eddie broke down were so good.

And of course his ‘If I was there, could I have made a difference?’ triggered Buck’s guilt again.

Oh these beautiful idiots. They are made for each other.

But what a great scene. I understand why Kat (journalist) said that this was her all time favourite scene in the entire series of 911. It is mine now too. Ryan Guzman, the actor that you are…

F. The morning after, when Buck walked into the living room, only to find the room empty, blankets folded with a little note on top? That was so Eddie and Shannon coded. The difference is that Eddie came back. He had always intended to come back to Buck while Shannon didn’t come back to Eddie and Chris.

Buck’s ‘jerk’! EEEE! It was sooooo good! I love how they decided to add that scene. It was perfect! It fit so well in their narrative.

Side note: how did Eddie even fit on that couch to sleep on it? It looks so much smaller than the previous couch and he is a big guy.

G. The way Buck saved that woman from her bathroom? The way he seems most at ease and happy in those kinds of situations? This makes me feel pretty sure they won’t go for Captain Buck anytime soon. The man loves those dangerous calls waaaay too much. As a Captain he wouldn’t be able to do that anymore.

H. Buck arriving home and Eddie just standing there WAITING for him!!! AAAAH! That was such a great scene. A clear call back to the ‘detour on sunset’ scene.

Again… this scene is so husbands coded. The way Eddie clearly realised that he had been an asshole to Buck the day before and when he woke up that morning he knew he had to make it up to him. So what did he do? He made sure that Buck’s favourite kid ever came back to LA!

Once again the parallel to Tommy walking out and never coming back, while Eddie -even if he does walk out- always comes back to Buck. Just… perfection.

That Buck & Chris reunion made me cry so hard! And Eddie looking on so fondly! I mean… that is a man in love you guys. I think that, on some level, he already knows it. It’s all there on his face.

Chris and Buck man! Pfffff��� they look so alike when they are next to each other. It’s uncanny! The show knows this and they are using this to show us just how much this family belongs together.

Aunt Pepa!!! Complimenting Buck for his cooking in THAT kitchen, heavily implying it’s still the DIAZ KITCHEN and Buck has a spot there! Evancito!!!! Carinõ!!!! WHAT IN THE FANFIC HELL IS GOING ON IN THAT SCENE???!!!!!

And Chris looking at Eddie in the end, him looking back with that smile? This just screams domesticity and love. Eddie and Chris love Buck so much.

The way we see Buck smiling and obviously feeling so much better. Eddie knows that Buck needed to get outside of his own headspace and gain some perspective, away from his Bobby spiralling. It worked so well.

Especially that aunt Pepa talk did wonders for him. The way Buck was staring at Eddie and Chris and Pepa automatically using ‘our Eddie’ in their conversation, including Buck into their family? Perfect!

Aunt Pepa talked to Buck the way his mom should have talked to him. Telling him he should face his grief head on and own it. They are a family your honour!

Some miscellaneous stuff:

I still don’t really like the way this show redeemed Gerrard, but I do like him in this episode. He has finally understood that it’s important to respect the firefighters under his command. Bobby’s influence in action, no doubt about it. His proud look when the 118 figured out a way to bring the water to that burning building was interesting.

Spiritually? Bobby was everywhere in this episode.

That last scene with the building exploding and that piece of rock falling onto Athena’s police cruiser. That was so well done!

In conclusion:

This was such a good episode that harkened back to the 911 we all fell in love with. Even the calls and emergencies just felt right. The dentist call, the laundry call from Athena? They were all so good and wholesome! Call backs to previous people they saved as well!

It was just a really good episode. And I know that IMDB ratings don’t really mean anything, but I still love how we went from the 3.2 for the last episode to the 8.9 for this episode. Good times!

As for that trailer for 8x18?

Chimney and Athena stuck together? That will be soooo interesting to watch unfold. Sparks will fly! They can’t avoid each other now. They’ll have to work together to get out of there.

As for Buck and Ravi stuck as well? With the bts of Eddie in his white henley? Yeah, Eddie will get that phone call, realise that he is not losing anymore family (especially not his partner) and he will walk right into the fire station, ready to assist.

I’m expecting something big Buddie-related. Maybe Eddie’s realisation that his home is LA and especially Buck. Or maybe Buck realising that Tommy was right about him being in love with Eddie.

Or hell, maybe both at the same time!? What do I know!?! 🤷‍♀️

And Hen will be there coordinating and finding a way to get them all out safely. I really think she might just realise that she’ll want the job of Captain anyway.

Who knows? All I know is that we’ll have lots to talk about during hiatus!

I’ll be sat though. I’m so excited!!!

[fishnapple]

How your admirers view you

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)

CUBE 1

The majority of them are likely intimidated by you. You seem to emanate an air of competence and confidence that make them question their worth. They probably ask themselves if you really need them in your life, what value can they contribute to your life. Because you seem to not need any unnecessary attachments and focus on your success. You seem to be very ambitious and determined when it comes to social status and money. You're serious and hardworking, ready to put up with the grind and challenges, as long as you can achieve your goals.

You're not warm and friendly, but you can charm anyone, like a fantasy, a perception spiral that draws in people's eyes. The snake and the apple together, the cat and mouse, the tiger and the deer, the bee and the tree, these pairs form an image of something forbidden and dangerous. Those who are attracted to you romantically feel like they're being preyed upon,but they can't help but want to come closer. Some would think that you would make a great trophy and elevate their status and value if they're seen being with you.

They think you like to keep a roster of admirers around you just for fun. Like you're toying with them, giving them the illusion of hope but always out of reach. Whatever you're showing to the world, people can only admire from afar, they are not allowed to touch. If you flaunt your beauty and talent, it's simply because you like to, without any motives of capturing a specific someone's heart. They can feel like you just want to capture the heart of everyone, the adoration of the mass rather than of any individuals.

The way you speak can be teasing. Your words seem to have hidden meanings, innuendos that only a discerning ears and a sharp mind can catch on. You don't like to argue or shut down anyone. You seek verbal entertainment and companionship everywhere you go. They may feel a little cautious when talking to you, afraid of unwittingly slipping up some of their secrets. And they don't know if you would use those to your advantage later on.

Being in a relationship with you feeling a tug of war, a struggle for power and domination. You don't do the subtle game when it comes to someone you're interested in. Once someone becomes your target, they can't help but feel like they're being hunted. And I think some actually want to be willing preys. Because they feel like it can transform them, that they can experience the highest of high and the lowest of low when they're with you. It would take a brave soul to stand in front of you without running away after some displays of power.

CUBE 2

They probably think you're a work hard, play-hard person, you know how to get what you want and how to have fun. You have an air of graceful but passionate competence that is not for the weak of heart. The first thing they notice about you is your go-getter attitude, you seem to have whatever, whoever you want, you set your sight on something or someone, next moment, they are yours. You just know how to go after your desire. But not in an aggressive manner at all, just pure confidence and focus. This also makes them think that you have everything you want already, you don't really need anything that doesn't add value to your life. You might be a target for some opportunists who want to bask in the light of your abundance. But you're wise and discerning enough not to entertain them.

Your admirers might feel that your life is not very stable at the moment or was like that in the past, you had to face something very difficult and had triumphed it. This gives you a resilient yet shrew way of viewing life. They sense that you will be able to get out every crisis with ease, because you're experienced and no stranger to the act of reinventing yourself. This also makes you a little slippery, as if no one, nothing can hold you down, you're always free and belong to yourself only. Some are very intrigued by this depth and attitude, they want to explore more, to see your hidden demons, it's thrilling, like trying to conquer a mystical creature of the deep.

You probably don't show these demons of yours to just anyone. The way you talk doesn't have any hint of struggle, you know just what to show, what to conceal. To everyone, you're this perfect creature that nothing can stand in your way. You also have the tendency to point out fallacy and pretence. They think they won't have any chance with you if they try to act over the top, boast or flaunt unreal achievements in front of you, deceit is out of the window, you have no patience for that. You seek someone who can elevate your spirit, someone who is your equal, who can confront you and stand their ground.

In love, you are much more softer, you like to joke, to play with your lover. In fact, romance is something vital to you, no matter how much you try to disguise it behind the image of independence. To the people you love, you're loyal to the extreme, you're willing to go through any hell for them, that's why you're extremely picky. Some would mistake your general detached friendliness as romantic interest. You could strike up a conversation with any stranger and easily get them to open up, but you don't let them in easy, not without some testings first.

CUBE 3

You have an interesting combination of strongwill strength and softness that can be seen in various situations. Your admirers' views of you might differ wildly, maybe you attract different kinds of people and they have different way of perceiving you, some can see a trait more prominent, some see other traits as more representative of who you are as a person.

At first glance, you can be authoritative and protective of your energy. You come off as reserved and a little bit aloof, someone who prioritises their peace and solitude above all else. But you aren't standoffish or dismissive of others. When the situation calls for it, you can step up and work well with others. Some would see you as a protector, while others see you as the one who needs protection. There's vulnerability in your expression, but you're never a victim. You know how to direct your life as your own master. But at times, some can see that you don't welcome them at first interaction, almost as if you're trying to run away or hide from them. It takes a lot to gain your trust and for you to open up with someone. Even then, they still feel like you're ready to bolt at the slightest of threat.

But in general, their impression of you is favourable. Once you've decided that you can trust a person, you relax and be in your nurturing energy more. You're a loyal friend, even those with romantic intentions can see this clearly about you, this is what they find so attractive about you. They feel that being with you won't be just like being with a lover, but with a best friend, their biggest supporter, and a cheerleader. Your light doesn't outshine others, it enlivens and inspires other to shine on their own. Your admirers find your individuality and creativity really attractive. They admire you as a person, and at the same time, feel hopeful and lifted up by your energy, which makes them want to be like that themselves. You have a way to nurture the biggest treasure in a person, you help them connect with a deeper meaning in life.

Some can feel lost in your energy because it's too encompassing. They wonder if the compassion you give them is for them only or is it universal. So they can feel like they're competing with a lot in your life for your attention. You make them feel so grounded, yet you remain elusive. They feel that no matter how much they try, how close they get to you, how long they're with you, they can't never grasp your true essence.

CUBE 4

Many would think that you're hiding a vulnerable inner self behind a mask of bravery and strength. They feel like fear is the main motivator of your actions. You don't want people to discover that you're actually a vulnerable human being, that you can be needy and fearful, that you need someone to protect you. Because you feel that showing that side of you to the world will make you an easy target for exploitation and hurt. So you don a mask of independence, sometimes aggressively.

You're on guard towards strangers, but to the people who have gotten to know you better, your admirers included, they can see that soft heart of yours and they really love it. It's the contradictory energy within you that intrigues lots of people. You can look fierce on moment, but if something happens to touch your heart, your expression can immediately soften. Behind the hard exterior is a caring and nurturing person. As long as you feel safe in their presence, you can relax and act more spontaneously. Your laugh might be very contagious, filled with pure joy that can immediately make the other person feeling at ease with you.

In a group, you can assume the role of a "leader" or someone who can give the direction and guide people. You don't like to talk too much but still have a way to make people listen and respect your opinions. But some can feel that you tend to hide your true intentions, your plan. You might show off your skill, your verbal dexterity, but you don't like to actually talk about your deeper thoughts. You like to make people around you laugh, but you don't want to reveal your sadness. It's like, when it comes to your own world, your own path, you don't want anyone to see it, lest they hinder you from moving forward. This can make some people think that you can be sneaky and strategic in your moves. What they see might not be what they get.

This group feels shorter and hard to articulate because there's a resistance. Even when you do allow people into your world, you are still reluctant to let them in fully. Some will feel frustrated and give up, and some will take it as a challenge and want to advance deeper to finally solve your mystery.

[loveafterdeath-if]

Yeah, similarly to what another anon said, I was kinda hoping for this to be a story about moving on after losing a lived one, specifically your partner, which I thought was a beautiful and heartbreaking concept, and while we did get that in the first few chapters, it feels like this plot twist kind of defeats the whole point.

Though, unlike the other anon, I personally will probably continue reading because I think you are an amazing writer and because I love Ekissa. The only thing that makes me not sure about continuing is that the situation is a bit awkward, makes me feel a bit uncomfortable, so I was wondering about how you were going to manage it? Because MCs moving on process obviously gets cut short, but for those of us who are gonna romance someone else, we still need to finish that process, and one important thing when moving on from an ex is time apart, especially for one you were grieving not so long ago. Otherwise old feelings, nostalgia and a lot of other emotions get mixed up and that would probably lead to confusion. (Sorry, for the long paragraph, just a bit worried about how this is gonna continue)

It's heavy spoiler territory, but I'll have to address this for anon. And it'll be a long-ass response, so be prepared,

You are right about one thing, the whole plot falls apart if El is alive, doesn't it? And like someone said in the LAD discord "why love after death then". They didn't phrase it exactly like that, but you know what I mean. The plot does start with El, but it won't end with them. Idk how to explain without giving away too much, lol

There are clues that El isn't really dead in the first chapters. The flowers MC receives, and now players know El was the one offering them. The doc and Athiel never talk about death when discussing El. MC doesn't have the right to go to the funeral or even see El's body. Even L being called by Juliet at the beginning will have its importance. They're small details, nothing too obvious, but they're here.

I'll be honest, sometimes when writing Athiel talking with MC, I struggled to remember El wasn't dead because I tried to make it look and feel like El was dead, so I drowned a bit in that department.

The characters might seem like a lot, but each has their own purpose, big or small. Some are a breath of fresh air for MC since they're not caught up in all the drama and can be objective. Others are here because they'll play an important role later. Then there are those who serve as reminders of the past with El (like the neighbors). And some are just like those background characters in anime; you don't even see their features because they're just there to serve a small purpose and keep the intrigue going. They come and go.

Sorry, I'm talking too much. So how I'll manage it, is by—and it's where it's gonna get tricky—make MC aware of it as soon as possible. There will be a reunion between MC and El. The tricky part is showing that El won't remember MC, no matter how much/if the MC tries to jog their memory.

The past El is dead; the memories won't come back, and if any fragments do resurface, El won't feel the love they once had. It's more like a ghost of memories; their body remember, but it's more mechanical than actual feelings. Like an old habit that won't go.

MC will have to grieve the old El anyway, even with them actually alive.

In El's route, it'll be all about falling in love again, getting them out of this toxic relationship with their mother, helping them learn to love themself again, and living with someone who is El but not the El you used to know. They have trauma, the confidence they once had is gone, they're insecure and they're more reserved than before.

Juliet is like, the first villain before introducing the final boss. What I wanted to do was weave two kinda plots in the same book because I didn't want to make two separate books. Love After Death is Love After Death for a reason. The plan is to make the players realize that El wasn't the focus of this book in the first place.

I hope there won't have any inconsistencies in this story, but if you find any plot holes, you're free to let me know, and I'll do my best to improve. It's only with advice and constructive critique that I can do so. I'm sure there are blind spots I won't see right away; I'm only human😭

[vazaez]

It has come to my attention that someone has been shittalking me and twisting up My words to make me seem like a creep, so i'm here to defend myself.

Here's what they said:

Good job making me look like a piece of shit over a fic i read out of curiosity because people kept mentioning it under my art, here's the conversation in question we had on Instagram, because You didnt give three shits before sharing bits and pieces of out of context messages no one else saw, making up your own version, i don't feel bad not giving a shit about showing the whole thing because i got nothing to hide.

And since you were too much of a coward to be straight with me i'll respect your wishes and keep you anonymous too.

I will translate the conversation, word for word, and i want everyone to judge if it actually correlates to what the initial post says, get your own conclusions, i don't need to fight to defend my point.

-about the possible fanfic they're mentionin on tumblr was possibly by a usar named izosso, but that guy is a proshipper and all the other fics in the tag are really weird💀

Telling you here because my tumblr account doesnt let me comment

•i saw them lol and i blocked izosso, but theres another fic by someone else [literally the only one of the ship that wasnt posted by izosso] who isnt a proshitter [as far as i know] and the fic is relatively good

-send me the link

•some things didnt really sit right with me but over all it's pretty good, they describe the dynamic almost the same as i imagined it skhd

It has a lot of smut, i just let you know because maybe that content is not your cup of tea

-going into the wild kratts Tag in AO3 is like playing the Russian roulette

Just send it to me to see what it's about

•yeah 😭 that's why i found it so weird so many people talking about the same fic

(I send the link) Here it is

-ahh yeah i found this one but i found the food sex tag weird

(Replying to my prev message) Me too

• ah yes, but it's not that much, it was put there more like a caution but no one stuck any food down any holes fortunately 🙏(clearly joking btw)

Well, besides the mouth

-thank god lol

Lmao hey out of curiosity, can i know what about it was it that you didnt like? I found it weird to see Chris as a bottom because i can't imagine him like that

•oh yeah no i do see it, he's too much of a diva 💔 (also clearly a joke?? Are we serious??) what i dislike the most is that Zach acts super weird

And the fact that there is smut at all, because it's a topic that causes me a lot of debate because he's a self insert and all

So i don't know how to feel about it, but it is well written at the very least lol

-same, it's like a 50/50 , in any case i think the fandom is gonna to form a dispute because there's a Lot of artists who font like that and when that happens i'm gonna be like Italy during WW2 lol

And yeah that thing with Zach was really weird *proceeds to call the police*

•LMAO yeah, i just try to not touch that topic much because it could always cause problems

Now where did i ever mention that i consume that content because i like it? Where did i ever sound like "an average Fujoshi"? When i very clearly said that what threw me off about the fic was the fact that there was smut at all

If what made you nauseous enough to try to ruin me was that i jokingly said he was a diva then i don't even fucking know what to tell you ??

The same curiosity you had to come and ask me for the link was the one that caused me to give the fic a try in the first place, so am i really more to be judged than you when we did the exact same thing??

Im an adult, i don't appreciate you going around saying "she still has some years for her brain to develop so i'll have faith!!" Like i'm some sort of idiot, you're barely a year older than me so be serious.

And i don't need you to go to some rando's asks to shit talk me and confess you had plans to talk crap about me to my friends because you had your own conclusions from a very specific conversation, and act like i was the one who still needs to get her shit together

Like what even is your point-?

Check yourself

And to call me a hypocrite on top of it all,,, just unbelievable

Who really is the hypocrite?

[jolacheese]

Meet our gardener! 🪻

It really feels like you wanted Ezra. Well, one-armed gardener it is. Please, if you do walk on the grass, please don’t kick the man’s trowel - it takes him a long time to get going as it is (the man can talk). 

We also ask that you don’t fondle the bulbs (both the dahlias and the ones attached to him).

Thank you for aiding us in the hiring process. Here are some of our favourite bits of feedback. 

On Ezra (our most successful applicant to date)

@sawymredfox (who got a bit hot and sweaty among the flowers)

@yopossum (who thinks about our costs, like a good guest)

@cozylittlepigeon (who is now spending a lot of time in the garden... "chatting")

@quinnnfabrgay-writes (is here for the show)

@iamasaddie (was his reference for the interview btw)

@grogusmum (loved ezra's opening interview statement)

@timelordfreya (someone who wants to see how deep he can go)

@whoaitspascal87 (please report to reception, we need to know why)

@aurorawritestoescape (no question, just answers)

Some who were torn between a rose and a sunflower it seems (aka Ezra and Oberyn)

@maggiemayhemnj (she likes it dirty... in a bush)

@pedroacrossthestreet (had a hard time deciding)

@oliveksmoked (torn between two, if only job hires were buy one get one free)

On Oberyn (all sun yellow, but no soil)

@bergamote-catsandbooks (who likes a good swish)

@iknowisoundcrazy (she likes being watched... ;))

On Joel (big hose, little vote)

@lady-artemis27 (who got distracted by hose's (a large one, too) and is now dripping....)

@missredherring (is after a sculptor)

@littleredpandanaps (i wondered why the flowers looked sticky)

@eupheme (wants him on his knees "planting")

On Dieter (Plant Daddy Dieter, do i need to say more)

@jessthebaker (the reason the above exists...)

On Javi P (who can erect fences but not votes)

@indiegirlunited (a person after megan's heart) who quote said "I VOTED FOR JAVI P"

On Ezra but also Edward (a new version of Twilight)

@reaperofmen (who 100% voted for edward really, and we love them for it)

@milla-frenchy (who also deffo voted for edward)

Thanks for joining us! See you for tomorrow's roundup!

[ihaznoclue]

Hihihi i'm really happy you opened requests, could you please write a mel x human female reader oneshot?

Pairings -> Melancholy/Mel x Female Reader

Warnings -> None

Note -> Mel wants you to go on a mission with her and her family but it turns out to be a bad idea to come along

Genre -> Angst to Fluff

A/N - Might not be accurate but whatever.. I'm still sick >:((

MEL

You didn't like being in the open as much as Mel liked as she would be the usual one to go on mission while you take care of the butcher shop that you have been assigned form Ken who was Mel's dad

He wasn't a bad guy, he was soft and gentle towards his family but he is still getting used to you but he treats you kindly like the others, Ken is just looking out for his family and hope nothing bad happens to them

Mud onto he other hand has been trying to bribe you to come work for him as you were a good person for it, but you kindly declined his offer, Mud is not really a easy guys to trust at time when he's sneaky sometimes he would steal some stuff of yours but luckily Ken would return it back

Then there's the big fella, Breadhead, he just a gentle giant towards you as he loves to hang out with you form time to time, maybe him playing the piano to you as he sings along sometimes, even sometimes you would help him fall asleep by reading him some books you found from a alley

And the last person is Mel, she seemed crazy at first, meaning that you didn't really want to go close to her at first but then later realised that she just wanted to spend time with you, the new recruiter of the smiling dead, but she seemed more different than the other but you just shrugged it off as nothing at first

Until it was time for their mission, you didn't know what reason for it but you would say that you were going to take care of the shop but Mel begged you to come with as she needed someone new to talk to

Meaning that she wanted your o come with her and the family

You thought of it first then Mel reassured you that her dad wouldn't mind at all, she also wanted you to see your very first mission instead of staying at the shop

So you agreed but was nervous, you were now sitting next to Mel and Breadhead at the back of the car as they seemed to be car chasing someone

Mel then decided it was a good idea to climb up the car, making her dad a bit angry than he already was, then you decided to have some fun as well and join with her

But that didn't well as you and Mel was flinged off the car that they were chasing, you were unconscious for a moment, seeing a blurry figure that seemed to be Mel checking to see if you were okay

"Holy shit! You.. you're a human?" She asked with wide eyes

You hissed as you moved, seeing black blood, a lot of black blood trailed on the road to you and.. mel

"Uh.."

"HOLY CRAP YOU ARE! HAHAH Omg I thought I was the only one!" Mel cheered as she then hissed grabbing her arm

"Wait.. so you were a human this whole time!?" You yelled out making Mel cover your mouth as she shushed you

"Try to stay quiet about this, but don't worry Ken won't cement ya, he already knows that I'm human so there's no big deal" Mel rambled making you confused as fuck now

It has now been a hot minute as you and Mel were now looking at each other, Mel smirking as she stared at you, you were patched up by her as you felt a little bit uneased but also relifed? maybe because you weren't the only one trying to hide the fact you were a human just like her

But in the end Mel wasn't going to give this up as she has now been sticking to your side ever since the accident and know your true secret

Making you a bit worried on what's going to happen, but also you didn't mind the company

Mel was.. someone now special to you and you liked it

-A<3

[santae-salt]

CJ, salties, genuine and troll commenters - we need to have a discussion about emotional boundaries and emotional manipulation.

What CJ did last night was highly unprofessional and unacceptable for someone fostering minors in his community. I think it's sobering to remember that individuals as young as 13 years old can freely join and play. They could be in the discord. They could have witnessed whatever that was last night and it could impact them negatively. It is highly inappropriate to trauma dump in his discord as an owner; I understand that he feel victimized and it's valid to feel feelings, I'm not telling him that he can't, but CJ as the responsible adult need to understand that he shouldn't use his pet site audience as his dumping ground. I understand that this may frustrate and piss him off, but he needs to understand the gravity of being the owner of Santae.

I also understand it may frustrate him that I'm not placing any share of the blame on the parties that he views as attackers. This isn't what I'm talking about right now, so I'm not touching on that. That's all.

CJ, to address you directly - you are not a regular player just like "all of you". You are a developer. You hold a certain power by that title alone that, when you act like you did last night, can be classified as emotional manipulation. By bringing your significant other into the conversation, how horrible you feel, how bullied you are - it gives the idea that you are actively searching for 1) immediate sympathy and 2) people to defend you. You overstepped a massive, and concerning, boundary last night. I'll keep repeating it because of how strongly I feel about it.

You may not mean for this, and I'm not making fun of you or attacking you for saying this. I want to make that clear. You need someone unbiased who doesn't know you personally to talk to, like an actual therapist or another outside completely unrelated source. Talking to anyone close to Santae (or you) results in an echo chamber that spirals and revolves and wraps you up in stress. There's no separation and that's hard for anyone's mental health. Users aren't there to buffer your feelings. They're there to be users.

And for what it's worth, this unprofessionalism has been a concern since Santae has first kicked off. If you search the Santae tag on Tumblr and read some of the comments on the older posts regarding issues (the ID request, artist issues, etc) you'll see people expressing their concern about the development team not being able to maintain boundaries.

One example: you sent an email when you blocked someone that was wholly inappropriate and should be addressed, quite frankly. You didn't maintain the boundary of just banning the user and blocking them like an adult who owns a pet site, you had to stoop down into your wounded feelings and wield that power one more time to try and harm them the way that you felt harmed. You're mixing your personal feelings with professional actions and this will not assure the longevity of Santae. At all.

"To take words and share them publicly, stripped of context and trust like everyone else chooses to do. For what, we may never understand what happiness or joy you and a select group choose to speak in a bad way on any topic without telling the entire story. is not only deeply disappointing, but also a violation of the standards we expect every member to uphold."

This is absolutely emotional manipulation, an egregious crossing of boundaries re: owner vs user, and just unacceptable. Santae is close to you, but an attack on Santae shouldn't be an attack on you. CJ and Santae are two different entities. It's troubling that you and Santae seemed so tightly intertwined that you can no longer tell the difference.

This has gone on long enough, so I'll wrap it up here. Fwiw, I hope your s/o feels better, genuinely. I really do hope you take this as a genuine conversation of concern.

I hope you figure it out man. Yeah, it sucks. But that's part of being at the top. It's gonna suck, but you have to hold onto the positive and try to figure out the change it's going to take to get yourself in a better headspace.

☁️

[porty]

for my starlight

tag, you’re it

————————————————————————

————————————————————————

“right… just go outside… just do something…” you sighed softly, pacing in the middle of oliver’s living room — something that was becoming a far too common occurrence lately. you rubbed her temples, eyes glued to oliver’s message:

“yeah, just please go outside and get some fresh air. relax for a while, okay?”

you wanted to go back to the group chat, to talk to the boys, but what was there to say? what was there to do? they were all mad at each other — and it was your fault. what could you do? some freak made up lies through anonymous parcels, all just to get your attention. and it worked — you’re noticing them. in your delusions…

but at what cost?

your friends were caught in the crossfire, and you couldn’t help but feel completely defeated.

clutching your phone tightly, you debated between calling two people: shidou or oliver. shidou would probably make her laugh… or more likely, call your stupid for feeling like this.

“you should’ve cursed that bitch out, yn…” — definitely something he’d say.

so, oliver it was. you didn’t have the strength to be violently uplifted by a madman.

so you dialed oliver’s number and put him on speaker before sinking into his sectional, waiting for him to pick up — which, thankfully, didn’t take long.

“yn?” oliver answered, breathless.

“were you running? why are you so out of breath?” you asked softly, picking at your nails — a terrible habit you developed when you was younger, something you only did when you was scared or nervous. “can you just talk to me? i just… need to hear someone’s voice.”

“yn, are you seriously alright? do you need me to come home?”

“i’m really sorry…” your voice cracked. tears pricked your eyes, but you quickly wiped them away. “i’m okay. i just want to hear your voice… are you still in your meeting?”

“yn, you’re not a bad person. none of this is your fault. you don’t need to be sorry. even if the boys are mad, i’ll never be mad at you,” oliver said gently.

you fingers dug into her skin as you picked at them more, feeling new cuts forming. you knew he was just trying to make you feel better. it was sweet of him. but you also knew he was just saying that.

“yn? yn? are you there?” oliver called out.

you snapped out of your trance and responded quickly, “yeah, oliver. i’m here.” you sighed softly, playing with one of his throw blankets — the one he got just for you. it was oddly adorable — blue and gray with little baby chicks wearing tiny winter hats and scarves.

you remembered the day he brought it home. you had been watching a movie on his couch when he burst through the door, excitedly declaring that he found something that reminded him of you and couldn’t pass it up.

his usual white, gray, and brown aesthetic was now ruined by this ridiculous, cozy little blanket. your blanket. it was silly — but it symbolized something between you and oliver.

you hadn’t been staying with him for long, but it felt right to be in his home.

“yn, go outside and do something, okay?” oliver’s voice brought you back. “we should get dinner. or stay home. honestly, i’d kill for your cookies.”

you hummed. “you just want me to bake for you.”

“it’s nice, you know? coming home to a girl baking in your kitchen. a man can only ask for so much. besides, you seem stressed. if you’re not going to get fresh air, i know baking calms you down. i just want to take your mind off it… even if just for a little.”

“maybe you’re right, oliver. but if i’m baking, you have to bring home dinner. pizza. preferably.” you playful demand, partially.

he chuckled softly. “fine. i’ll bring pizza home — if you make peanut butter cookies.”

that lead you to groaned, “fine. but seriously, thank you, oliver. for everything. i don’t know what i’d do without you…” you sighed gently. “i’ll let you go, but don’t come back without the pizza.”

“there’s no need to thank me, yn. you mean a lot to me. just know that, okay? i’ll see you soon,” he said softly before the line ended.

you tossed your phone onto the sectional and sighed. the weight of everything still clung to your chest. of course it did. who wouldn’t feel that way?

after a few quiet moments wrapped in the chick blanket, you groaned softly.

you needed to reach out to the boys. you wanted them to know how sorry you are. and that none of them were bad people.

rising from the couch, you wandered through oliver’s living room, trailing fingers along his awards and the photos scattered across shelves and walls. as he would say: “things that just inspire me…” there were pictures of the two of them through the years, through the awkward phrases of adolescence. you couldn’t help to chuckled softly and make your way to the kitchen.

“alright… cookies,” you mumbled, digging through his cabinets for the ingredients to make his favorite: peanut butter cookies.

it didn’t take long to realize: the man had absolutely nothing. not a single thing.

you let out an annoyed sigh, while putting on your shoes and threw on one of oliver’s crewnecks before heading out to the supermarket. this would be quick — in and out. yeah, in and out.

“peanut butter, flour, baking soda, baking powder, and butter…” you muttered to yourself while pacing the aisle. from the corner of your eye, you noticed someone, a man.

everywhere you went — he was there.

“peanut butter, flour, baking soda, baking powder, and butter…” you repeated faster, trying to gather your thoughts. you couldn’t call oliver. so panic crept up your throat. your breathing grew heavy. your vision getting cloudy.

you rushed to the freezer aisle, opened a door, and let the cold air hit your face.

“um, excuse me?” came a voice behind you.

you jumped, spinning around. there he was — the man who had been following you in the supermarket.

“oh, i’m sorry… i didn’t mean to startle you. but are you yn?” he asked, raising his arm in greeting.

“um… it’s fine. yeah, i’m yn,” you nodded slowly, masking the panic lacing your voice.

“wow, you’re even prettier in person. i’m a fan — do you mind if we take a picture?” he motioned between them, and you couldn’t help but chuckle softly.

“of course…” you agreed.

he stepped closer, lifted his phone, and that’s when you noticed it — his left hand. there was a tattoo, couldn’t quite make out, but it looked intricate.

he snapped a few pictures and turned to you. “thank you so much. ah, my friend is going to freak out when i tell him i met you.” you smiled and nodded, even as he kept talking.

“did you just move here?” he asked.

alarms blared in your mind, but you didn’t want to jump to conclusions.

“um… yeah. just moved in about a week ago. i was looking for somewhere quiet — happened to land here.” you forced a soft smile.

“that’s amazing. well, welcome, neighbor!” the man beamed. “i’ll leave you alone. thanks again.” he waved cheerfully.

you waved back, but tilted your head slightly.

the man with the hand tattoo… and now that you really looked, faint blue dyed ends in his hair — definitely a standout.

masterlist || Previous: talking in your sleep || Next: creep

AN: mmm mmm mmmh today drained me… 🫩

Taglist: @aionishoh || @inojinieeee || @rinniebinniebay || @twilightsumu || @dremerys || @thatmf-jay || @amvpk01 || @yxruxp

@porty || do not plagiarise or translate any of my work. I do not own any of the Blue Lock characters all rights goes to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura.

[amillionmagpies]

Okay, this got really nasty and I don't think it needed to. @unsolicited-opinions, it is legitimately possible for things to be obvious to one person and not obvious to another. I'm neurodivergent, so this happens to me a lot. I've been accused of asking questions in bad faith, of playing stupid when I 'obviously' understood something I didn't, of a lot of the things you accused aqlstar of. That doesn't mean bad-faith questioners and people who play dumb don't exist, but I really don't think that's what aqlstar was trying to do. Their responses sounded a lot like me when I'm frustrated and confused about why everyone is mad at me for trying to understand something they consider obvious.

@aqlstar, in answer to your initial question, since I think it really was in good faith: what you're seeing as a contradiction - "when trump centers antisemitism he’s setting up the Jews for left wing backlash and when trump doesn’t mention antisemitism and talks exclusively about the politicization of universities and the support for terrorism on campuses he’s letting the mask slip" - isn't actually a contradiction at all.

Essentially, the idea being expressed here (not getting into whether I agree with it or not, since that's not what you asked) is that Trump has never cared about antisemitism. Caring about antisemitism was the 'mask' that has recently 'slipped' to show the truth underneath. He pretended to care about antisemitism, because it gave him an excuse to attack colleges, protestors, and Muslims, all of whom he dislikes for his own reasons.

Leftist antisemitism is very real, and it's particularly virulent on college campuses. Therefore, when Trump wanted an excuse to go after colleges and certain people attending them, this antisemitism provided a perfect, seemingly-altruistic excuse to attack the people he already wanted to attack. He has never wanted to stop antisemitism, but it was a good cover for his true goals - a good 'mask.'

Doing awful things in the name of antisemitism also has another advantage for Trump: it allows him to make Jews a scapegoat for his actions. This is the 'setting up Jews for left-wing backlash' part. If he says he's doing it for Jews, the people who are angry about it are likely to be angry at Jews. We're much more accessible than Trump or his cronies, and so people who want to hurt someone over Trump's actions aren't going to try and hurt Trump. They're going to hurt Jews, because we're the ones they can reach - and because Trump has (probably on purpose) associated us with his atrocities.

The part about the 'mask slipping' refers to Trump (deliberately or accidentally, it's hard to say) finally admitting the truth he's been hiding: that he's never cared about antisemitism and it was always an excuse to hurt the people he wanted to hurt anyway.

So, to recap: the 'mask' is that Trump cares about the antisemitism Jews are experiencing on college campuses. This mask allows him to seem altruistic while doing terrible things, and it makes Jews the scapegoat for people angry about those terrible things. The mask 'slipping' is Trump admitting that he doesn't care about antisemitism and just wanted to hurt colleges, protestors, Muslims, and anyone who got in his way. This is also awful, because that's an awful thing to want.

@ unsolicited-opinions, I understand why you were angry. There are a lot of bad-faith questioners on the internet, and dealing with them on a regular basis is bound to be frustrating. However, I think you were unnecessarily cruel and I don't think aqlstar was actually asking in bad faith. Some things are obvious to you but not to other people.

@ aqlstar, I hope this answers your question, and I'm willing to try and explain it in a different way if you're still struggling to understand, but I'd rather do that privately. If you still have questions, please DM me.

The Trump administration is letting its mask slip.