#and some aro too
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Im sorry but being aromantic and/or asexual is such a beautiful, complex identity that opens up almost endless possibilities and interpretations about sex and romance and relationships and struggles within those,
and i will always absolutely LOATHE how both the outside and the aro/ace community itself have boiled these identities down to just "doesnt have sex" and "doesnt date"
#Like as a sex pos romance positive individual i feel so alienated from what is supposed to be my community too#Just for once id like to see a relatable post where an aro/ace describes how they are having sex/dating and how it feels different#from the way allos do it#cause it is different and it is amazing and i never see that pointed out#demy speaks#asexual#aromantic#aroace#aromantism#ace#aro#and just to be clear im not saying one is struggling more than the other or that one is better or more aro/ace#Nor am i saying that the “doesnt date/have sex” posts are bad#Its just...some variety would be great yknow? This is way more complex of an identity than the community is making it out to be
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#don't take that too seriously#i know some genders amd sexualities aren't really talk much about either#but it doesn't change that ace and aro are really too often forgotten#and when they are talk about its really either black or white when both ace and aro are spectrum and are really complexe#and i rarely see them well represented during pride month#pride month#asexual#aromantic#sorry for my bad English dogs it's not my first language o7
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enough stories about how someone learns to truely be happy through love. i want a story where someone is desperately seeking out love thinking it's the only way to be happy only for them to learn by the end that happiness is what they make of it and they don't need love at all to make it.
#aro#aromantic#ace#asexual#aroace#loveless aro#loveless#non-partnering#nonpartnering#non partnering#nonamorous#aplatonic#enough of amatonormative tropes in media!!! enough 'you're miserable without love' stories!!!#less “you're too focused on ambitions to make you happy that you dont let yourself fall in love”#more “you're too focused on finding love to make you happy that you wont let yourself live”#more “there is so much more to life than love and so much more that can bring your happiness if you just let yourself experience it.”#maybe I should write this story#and when i say love i mean all love. not just romantic love.#which is why i tagged aplatonic too#while i mostly see this trope in terms of romantic love i think there's something to be said about#telling stories where people are perfectly content alone too#it doesn't have to be sad or pathetic to not have friends by choice. they dont have to be a miserable person to not have friends#i think we need more variety in stories where it shows people just content in their lack of love or relationships in all shapes#not everyone wants a family not everyone wants friends not everyone wants a partner not everyone wants love#some of us are content without. that should be explored without the need to fix it.
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People when a character is aromantic or aromantic coded: Wowie! They’re aroACE! Because they aren’t interested in romance! Look at how aroace they are!
People when a character is aroace or aroace coded: Isn’t it cool that this character is asexual? Asexual icon! They’re such great asexual representation :)
#aro#aromantic#ace#asexual#aroace#alloaro#it feels like there’s this weird mindset of#if a character is aro then they MUST be ace too#and if they’re aroace then the ace part is all that matters!#and of course aplatonicism is never even mentioned as a possibility in fandom spaces (even with characters like Saiki who is apl coded af)#hell. even with real life people who have come out as aromantic#if someone comes out as aromantic they’re assumed to be asexual as well#and if someone is openly aroace it’s very common that people emphasize the ace part over the aro part#and while I get that some people do talk more about their asexuality than their aromanticism#it’s still weird to me that like#for example#Yasmin Benoit is one of the most prolific aromantic activists AND one of the most prolific asexual activists#yet I rarely ever see people mention that she’s aromantic or aroace. Everyone always just says “oh she’s asexual” and leaves it at that#her aromantic activism seems to just get ignored even with how much of it she’s done#when trying to find news sources talking about aromanticism for a research project about half of them were interviews#with Yasmin Benoit! she’s done so much work for the aromantic community#yet even in her Wikipedia article which describes her as an “asexual and aromantic activist” in the very first sentence#the section on her activism doesn’t include the words aromantic or aromanticism even ONCE.#like. yeah she does emphasize her asexuality a lot more than her aromanticism. but her aromantic activism should be acknowledged too
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ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.
when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead instead’ it's not because I don’t think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!
that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.
but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if that’s where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!
joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. it’s not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.
and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! it’s good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, that’s not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we can’t change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.
tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.
#aromantic#aro positivity#aspec#aroace#aro#aromantic joy#arospec#when i saw its important to 'love' yourself - pls understand i am in no way trying to exclude loveless aros from this#that was just the easiest way to express what i meant! when i say 'love' i mean positivity/respect/happiness. etc. i just used that word bc#it works for ME which is why i said it. but feel free to replace it with whatever works for you! <2#also sorry if not everything im saying makes total sense i tried my best#this is something ive been thinking about for a while and have been struggling to articulate#i maybe should have read some theory for this abt community building but im too tired + overwhelmed w school reading right now so sorry.#if anyone has additions on that front though please do add them#also ngl im kinda scared to post this. i hope i explained what i mean well enough. like i get wanting to vent and express self hate BUT.#there is nuance to this and it is not unilaterally healthy i think. also i dont see any other online community fostering the normalisation#of selfhate the way the aspec one does! which makes me feel weird abt it especially.#anyway. this is basically my personal philosophy towards aromanticism#mossy posts#⚙️
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aromantics are way too comfortable implying friendship is the most valuable part of life to bitch about alloros doing the same thing with romance
#the call is coming from inside the house#i should specify#not all aros. but enough to where i don't hang out in the aro tag anymore#queer#queer community#aromantic#aroace#aro#should i tag asexual? the post that broke the camel's back for me had asexual tags too so it feels relevant#but it feels more like an aro issue. but maybe tagging it ace would bring some awareness ? and i did tag aroace#you know what fuck it#asexual#ace#aromanticism#lgbtq+#aspec discourse#aspec community#aphobia#aplatonic#aplspec#ace discourse#← i think every aspec discourse ends up there anyways. saw a lot of aro discourse there so yea#aro discourse#aplphobia#yeah i'm overtagging but if at least one person could see this think about it and stop doing it i would be happy so maxing my chances here
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barbie is one of the best aroace characters ive seen on the big screen yet. in a world where aspecs are slowly getting more recognition, hence increasing the targeted negativity from others that comes with not confirming to societal standards, having such a well known character not only have no interest in sex or romance while others in her environment do, but showing that her lack of romantic or sexual feeling is not something that stands in the way of her being her true fulfilled self sends a powerful message against amatonormativity. in this essay i will
#excuse any typos barbie broke my brain#i hope this makes some lick of sense#barbie is a cinematic masterpiece 10/10 recommend#i literally saw it twice in one day#that one scene with the bench just >>>>>#oh and oppenheimer was good too ig#asexuality#ace pride#asexual pride#asexual#lgbtqia#aspec#aromantic#aroace#aro pride#aromantism
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Being asexual and possibly aromantic but also being a huge shipper and hopeless romantic is such a wild experience ngl. I'm always freaking out about my favorite ships and giggling internally reading ship fics, getting invested in characters finally kissing or reading about their pining and their love and I think "I want what they have!!"
But then sometimes you have a slamming realization that your sweet shipping scenarios you imagine in your head look totally different irl and that you are extremely aspec.
One time I went down a YouTube rabbit hole and stumbled across Vsauce's "Why Do We Kiss?" video and let me tell you. When I saw that stock video footage of two people kissing each other I was a little flabbergasted lmaooo
#i mean this doesn't apply to all aspecs obviously but like#that stock video footage#they were kissing but it was more sucking each others faces and i was like wait#do people actually do this#lmaoo#it lowkey repulsed me oops#it hit me so hard but it also kind of validated my asexuality a bit too lol#ace#asexual#asexuality#aro#aromantic#aromanticism#aroace#this also may be because i dont watch live action shows or movies that much but still#does anyone else feel like this#ill be hardcore shipping something but i see one minute of irl relationship stuff and feel extremely disconnected#idk if im making sense#id like to hear some thoughts#might delete later but just wanted to get my thoughts out there#someone's probably said something like this before#edit: adding tags#yeah for me imagination of my ships kissing 👍👍👍💖💖#vs#footage of irl people kissing/live action kissing scenes 🫠#fandom#fanfic#fanfiction#my rambles
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I love myself looking sexy for the sheer pleasure of it
(Check the OTHER VERSION too!😉)
#me myself and I#my art#aromantic asexual#aromantic#asexual#aro#ace#aro/ace#aroace#this time the 'rough cut paper' effect was on purpose#my cap is a little darker. I'm already too fat for my only grey trousers. and the old turtleneck have its colours reversed#only the sunset flag is true🙃#sunset flag#just me#aroace positivity#aroace artist#oh and it was like dicussing the idea of 'looking pretty to be liked by someone' that I guess I almost believed for some time in my life#so maybe it's beyond aspec actually#all the guys look good for yourself always!✊️
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I was inspired from on high (Patreon)
#DDoodles#Shitpost#Dan and Phil#UT#Handplates#Gaster#What a tag combo lol#POV: You insulted the Dreemurrs#The G in LGBT stands for Gaster now you know#AroAce skelefam supremacy lol - the whole skeleton family tree are aroace we love them for that <3#Someday I'll write that essay proper about why all my faves are aro/ace to some capacity lol#For now it's goofs and gaffs#Literally As Soon as they both played these cards - I am so thankful to Phil for making an ace joke to the + honestly#Nothing drives me up the wall more than ''A is for Ally'' like no tf it is not thank you <3 If you must you can have a second A but come on#So the + ace joke primo excellent thank you#Dan was immensely correct for his addition tho - made it too perfect I immediately saw Gaster's grumpy face about it#I see him everywhere............... (lol)#Extremely excellent and correct choices leading to an inspiration this is why I watch them religiously#Definitely no other reasons like they're a bright spot in this dark world always deriving joy and light#Gaster also fits that bill huh - too many beautiful lads out there really thank you <3#Alright enough silliness for now#Love yous#<Oh you can barely tell that I was tipsy while writing these tags lol
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Jason Todd's the aroace guy who doesn't realize he's aroace but is also not oblivious to how big a driving force sexual attraction is for other people. He's the type to dislike and judge men for thinking with their dicks so much and kind of think himself better than them because of the fact that he doesn't
#my dc posting#jason todd#dc#red hood#aromantic asexual jason todd#aroace jason todd#aromantic jason todd#asexual jason todd#i don't think he'd ever call himself aro or ace. at most he'd acknowledge he's kinda queer in some type of way#i dont think he thinks on attraction too much. just how he can use it to manipulate others#especially if you go with him providing protection to prostitutes/being a pimp#like he's not interested but everyone else is and good on you for making money off that 👍#jason didn't trust adults or men when he was a kid#and even though he himself is an adult man now he still doesnt#he's been saying he wishes he were a girl/woman since he was like 10 but that's going into transfem jason now#when he was a kid and someone implies he has a crush or is lusting after someone or whatever#he'd be like ''ugh why is this idiot so obsessed with sex and why does he think i am too 😒''#basically. he knows it's a motivator for other people but just doesn't care for it himself#he doesn't have time to think about his queerness he has a goddamn revenge plot to carry out!!
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I think one of my favorite Funtermina things is how it uses characters as narrative foils, specifically in how those characters interact with each other and everyone else.
Karin and Daan’s is the most discussed as it’s probably the most apparent within the text: their volatile opposing viewpoints on life via their upbringings (despite being extremely similar otherwise). When Karin and Daan interact, it’s like a person arguing with themself. They clash like ammonia and bleach, unable to reconcile how similar they are (haha cleaning chemical analogy) yet toxic in their association.
Marina and Levi represent the different realities of Prehevil, what with Marina’s privileged upbringing versus Levi’s absolute shitshow of an existence. And yet, they get along incredibly well and form a cadence with one another because through each other, they can reconcile their upbringings in Prehevil. Levi is the Prehevil Marina tried to escape—Marina is the Prehevil Levi hoped to return to.
Marcoh and Olivia are interesting because—and I will argue this to the death—their relationship is wholly as siblings. And they’re also deeply connected by their relationships with their sisters, specifically how those sisters formulated and defined how they see themselves. Marcoh has done nothing but live to protect his sister, while Olivia has forever lived in her sister’s shadow. Their identities revolve completely around their sisters, and this also colors their relationship with each other as siblings.
I wish it was explored more, but I think there’s a level of disenfranchisement when Marcoh fervently tries to protect Olivia the same way he protected his younger sister (edit: rb for amendment). He clearly sees her in that role, and Olivia’s already got guilt written into her about her disability making her a “charity case.” I say this also because of their different opinions on guns, power, and death: Marcoh has no bloodlust and seems exhausted when he has to hurt others, while Olivia becomes almost jubilant when she receives a gun. And those reactions to enacting violence are directly informed by their relationships with their sisters: a begrudging responsibility vs empowerment.
My favorite is probably Abella and O’saa as foils. As characters they’re probably my favorites, and their foil makes it even better.
Abella easily connects with everyone around her, ensuring that they’re all getting along (or not killing each other) and she tries desperately to help everyone, even at her own detriment. She cares, so much, even too much.
O’saa on the other hand, is the exact opposite. He actively chooses to connect with everyone as little as possible, to the point where you can kill someone in front of him and he won’t give a shit. This is, obviously, to his detriment in terms of his goal towards enlightenment. He cares too little, even if at all.
They perfectly represent the dichotomy between altruism vs selfishness, the mundane vs the macro, democracy vs individualism. Fundamentally, both Abella and O’saa get shit done, and what makes them so compelling as foils is how similar the results of their different processes are.
Both of them are the only two that are capable of saving everyone. Abella does so by interacting with many of the other contestants, while O’saa does this by ignoring everyone and just occam’s razoring that shit. They both get shit done and to the greatest net success, but in both cases, because they operate on extremes, it’s to the detriment of themselves. The game shows this literally because, well, they sacrifice themselves to Logic for the greater good, but the game also implies this detriment via their moonscorches.
Chaugnaur represents how others have reduced Abella to a sexual object for their pleasure or a mindless brute for labor. It is a physical manifestation of how interacting and connecting with others can be to one’s detriment because Abella often cannot control how people see and define her. Mastermind, on the other hand, is O’saa’s brain swelling and overtaking everything else on his head to the point where he is blind (save for the eye) and mute, only able to speak in mumbles. Mastermind is how O’saa values logic, knowledge, comprehension over anything else, becoming blind to other viewpoints save for his own. Additionally, it’s unable to communicate or connect with anyone else, only able to ruminate get never share its thoughts.
Abella is one of the first to Moonscorch; O’saa is one of the last. I love them as foils because even though they’re the most different in terms of anything, they don’t hinder one another at much all. They’re just kinda chill. And this makes sense because their dichotomies aren’t volatile like Karin and Daan’s, nor complementary like the others. Rather, they operate in balance—you cannot be too altruistic without some selfishness. To help everyone and to achieve enlightenment, you must consider both the mundane and the greater picture. Society operates on a shared democracy and on empowering individuals.
Still, the fact that even operating on the extremes has the greatest positive effect (in terms of utilitarianism) really says smth abt whether these values even matter. But I’d argue that they do matter, cause it’s that question of whether it’s worth it to suffer or even sacrifice for the greater good.
As a whole, each foil represents a central theme/motif of Fear & Hunger: internal vs external locus of control (Karin and Daan), environment dictating identity (Marina and Levi), relationships and their impact (Marcoh and Olivia), and the thematic shitshow that is Abella and O’saa.
Tldr; the game is about some girls and their boy best friends.
#fear and hunger termina#i could be stretching all of this and completely delusional but i wanted to do some thematic analysis on funger since i haven’t seen much :#feel free to add on#also for the record i don’t ship abella and o’saa mainly bc abella is a hunky lesbian and o’saa is highkey aro ace to me#they’re like the ‘can u text this for me? oh don’t be too mean tho’ besties if thag makes sense#mr president’s state of the union address#i’ll draw soon trust u gotta hear mh deranged analyses first tho
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mmm just a bunch of my headcanons lol
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#ddlc#ddlc natsuki#ddlc yuri#ddlc mc#ddlc monika#ddlc sayori#ddlc headcanons#these aren’t for any au#just some general headcanons#i also once read a fic with aro monika and i kinda liked that too tbh#and ofc the egg mc headcanon is pretty fun to think about#art stuff
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Some of you people need to stop acting so shitty over aspec stereotypes because it's starting to get to a point that you are just shitting on the people who experiences match the stereotypes and it's hurting a lot more aspects than it's helping.
#text#aspec#ace#aro#aroace#aromantic#asexual#aplatonics#loveless#loveless aro#afamilial#adding you guys heree too because aplato afamil and loveless ppl get shit on constantly#for embodying the 'doesnt feel love towards anyone' stereotype which is often seen as something aspecs need to fight against#too many of you are more focused on seeming normal to the allos#that youre willing to throw some of us who dont fit the mold under the bus#because we 'make aspecs look bad' or 'prove allos negative stereotypes'#and idk maybe we shouldnt be theowing experiences under the bus because aphobes throw a fit over them#shouldnt we protect eachother from aphobia not try to surpress those who 'cause it' by existing???#aphobia
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Instead of celebrating things that include the aromantic, asexual, and aroace flags/communities as “including the whole set,” we need to start asking why alloaros and non-SAM aros are not explicitly included where aroaces are.
#aro#aromantic#ace#asexual#aroace#alloaro#non-SAM aro#alloaces too to an extent but alloaces aren’t erased in the ace community to nearly the same extent#that alloaros and non-SAM aros are in the aromantic community#and every other asexuality awareness post includes the disclaimer that some aces can feel romantic attraction#and I know of far more canon alloace representation than any other aspec rep#(though it still is not enough ofc.)#(we need more rep for all aces and aros)#whereas I spent literal years in the aro community before learning that being alloaro or non-SAM aro was even an option#so implicitly equating alloace erasure in the ace community with alloaro and non-SAM aro rep in the aro community would feel a bit dishonest
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I think what I personally really enjoy about AroAce Rudyard is that I know, in my heart, that he would not ONCE spend a single thought thinking he was broken. This man is fully convinced everyone else is just being unnecessarily weird, which really resonates with me, who also spend like 22 years of his life not even considering the possibility that there's something "wrong" with me and that everyone else is simply a little overdramatic over love and sex.
#i know it's a different experience for everyone but besides like one or two little 'oh god this will affect my adult life' realizations that#i only had once i REALIZED i was aro and even then that was less a 'this is problem with me' and more a 'this is a problem because of other#people's expectations#anyway Rudyard Funn i love you sgdhsgshdh#love looses#rudyard funn#wooden overcoats#i think if like Georgie tried to explain being aro or ace to him he'd dismiss it too#he'd be like that's ridiculous georgie#he might think about it some more later tho#who knows#younger me thought he was simply a better person for not being silly about love and sex like#and that's very Rudyard#(and i have since grown and realized that I'm not a better person I'm just aroace)
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