#and so when they meet it’s like that Spider-Man meme

[meteors-lotr]

Just remembered that in the canon of my au Tilda and Denethor have met. Not only that, but Tilda has called him a ‘stupid cunt bitch’, and just generally cursed him out.

So I can imagine that conversation was fun, Tilda mentioning that she’d met the previous steward of Gondor and that he’d been a cunt, and Boromir saying like “yeah that was my dad” and Tilda spitting out her water

[greendreamer]

In my Torchwood:UNIT AU, Jack, Gwen and Martha didn't tell each other that they had their own Torchwood teams for a good while. Potentially for a good few years.

[aliyahwritings]

INTRODUCTION TO LOSER!READER

loser!reader has school validation issues, she constantly seeks love through grades/scores. she is very empathetic and sensitive to things around her. she has the most beautiful soft long skirts outfits and nails sets (my girl does them herself). she can't do anything without having her grey headphones with stickers on it. oh, have you noticed how she's DIY based? yep.

loser!reader who is obsessed with spider-man and constantly looks him up without knowing it's actually peter parker from science class. she will never admit this but she is attracted to him (spidey) physically and personality wise. she thinks the way he teases officers and is cocky makes him so sexy. she loves video games like resident evil, the last of us and until dawn. she absolutely love playing them to cool down.

loser!reader who's loved by everyone because of how sweet she is for helping those in needs when it comes to homework and tests; she won't give the answers but she'll help.

loser!reader who was raised by her single dad because her mother started a new life with her new boyfriend. she is very happy with her father and wouldn't have it any other way. her father always encourages and teases her to meet new people and "finally" get a boyfriend or girlfriend. she is pansexual.

loser!reader who has nerdy conversations with peter about books and superheroes. she always posts herself with peter on her instagram because she loves showing him off. her signature is definitely long skirts and her curly hair. the people in her classes always admire the way her hair is constantly styled in a different, cute way.

loser!reader is sending a hundred memes to peter in a day and he always answers. he thinks it's adorable how she sends things that remind her of them, him, or just things that made her laugh. he swings her across queens just to have her close to him and panic (mf thinks it's funny).

loser!reader IS A FUN LOSER!!!!! SHE LOVES TO BANTER AND MAKE SNARKY COMMENTS TO HER FRIENDS AND BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!

layout credit to the beautiful @rafecameroninterlude (if u want me to take this down, i understand)

i'll be writing college era peter and reader because ain't no way i'm writing a 15 year old peter... #weird #notintothat #fuckthemkids

[soobnny]

classmate au | park jay

❝ come with me to the canteen, i’ll pay for whatever you want ❞

heeseung | JAY | jake | sunghoon | sunoo | jungwon | ni-ki

honestly, jay usually just keeps to himself

sooooooo campus crush.

someone play message in a bottle by taylor swift

he only goes crazy when he’s with his friends but like tbh i don’t see him going around and socializing in the classroom 😭

he usually waits for his classmates to come to him ykwim

he’s also def a morning person

arrives to school like a whole HOUR before class starts

his parents probably drive him to school and drop him off on the way to work

he’ll just be sitting in his seat in the middle

minding his own business .. doing last minute homework .. on his phone

jay is annoying bc he’s the natural smart type

like he’ll just know random shit

he’s the type to mumble the answers under his breath during oral recitation

TO HELP !!!! TO HELP !!!!

you only have a few memories with the boy and the most prominent is just so silly

you had one of those by-three quiz bee type of activity in school where u had to write ur answers on a small whiteboard and raise them

jay’s group was seated in front of you

and he’d just notice you leaning forward and trying to copy off them bc ur team is hopeless 😭😭😭😭

SO he angles his whiteboard while answering so you can see better

to the point where when the teacher looks back he just shoves it in ur face right away

ur teams laughed so hard

but yah !!!! just a funny memory to remember him by

you don’t realize you live in the same neighborhood until you commute back home together once

insert spider-man meme here

“you also live here?”

“yeah, i do”

so, on the occasion that his parents pick him up from school in their fancy car, he lets you ride with them back home

and when commuting, he always makes sure to guarantee you a seat if that’s like a train or bus

also stands in front of you so strangers can’t be weird and creepy

since then, you always ride with him home whether that’s in their family car or commuting

it’s a silent agreement

and he gets so used to it to the point that he WAITS for you sometimes…

[faints]

you’d be caught up in your club meeting and just see jay hovering outside the classroom???

he’s on his phone, totally unaware of you heading towards his direction

“hey, you done?,” he’ll say, backpack swung behind him as he reaches to take yours

“you didn’t have to wait for me,” you’d reply shyly

“but we always go home together, don’t we? besides, it’s getting late and it’s not safe for you to commute back home at night”

JAYYYYYYY… the man that you are

when he gets comfortable, he starts talking to u in class too

like not just casual conversation

he’d full on sit next to you and gossip

which surprises u bc you’ve never seen him willingly get off his seat to gossip with someone

NOW important thing to note is that your canteen is like three buildings away from your classroom so it’s a long walk

this mf always asks you to come to the canteen with him during free period or when the teacher doesn’t show up to class

“let’s go to the canteen”

“no, it’s tiringgg”

“i’ll get you whatever you want”

“ok let’s go!”

he’s balling 😭😭😭😭

jay just lets you get whatever you want in the canteen

true to his word, he pays for all of it

it’s kind of being his secret tactic to manipulating you to come with him to things

but who’s rly winning??? you get FREE things and u hang out with THE pretty jay

he thinks he wins tho😕😕 bc he likes u and loves spending time with u

so when that “no” forms on ur lips, he knows exactly what to do to force you to come with him

THO u do pay for his food sometimes or the fare for commuting back home bc u feel bad for taking his money

oh jay also gives me the one who offers to have practice over at their house

you are a frequent visitor in his house

his parents know u… the housekeepers… everyone just knows you at this point

you even go to some of their family dinners together when u hang out and his dad suddenly wants to eat out

“bring (name)” PLSSSSSS

they’d be interrogating u and getting to know u and ur family lots

jay’s the one that gets embarrassed and tells them to stop !!!!!!!

sometimes his mom would let him bring food for u in school

“this is (name)’s favorite, right??”

his parents LOVE you

u just become part of their family 😭

to the point that they say “about time” when jay finally asks you to be his girlfriend

“finally!!! she was basically already my daughter anyway!!!” his parents would say

BUT THE QUESTION IS

How does he ask u to be his gf

i have a story for U !!!!!!!!

it’s one of ur school events and u’re one of the people going around taking photos for the paper or so u could post it on the school page

you would stumble upon him during his contest

he would give you a quick smile before going back to Concentration Mode

THEN u kind of get tired walking around the whole campus so u hang by ur room where all ur other classmates with no contests are

AND THERE’S A GUITAR

you don’t know how to play the guitar

you jokingly get it and put it on your lap just as jay walks into the room

his eyes light up and he’s stumbling to sit next to you, asking if you know how to play

you don’t 💔💔💔💔💔

so he teaches you BYE

he helps you learn some basic chords and some strumming patterns

would whisper a few words of praise even at the smallest things that you get right

jay is SOOOOO encouraging that it’s painful

would make so much accidental eye contacts at ur close proximity

anyways this school event lasts a few days

SO at the last day .. during awarding .. he asks if you’re busy and if you could meet him at ur classroom

it’s empty obv bc everyone is at the court for the awarding

HE CONFESSES

Yes just like that. jay confesses to u.

it’s so clear he’s nervous bc of his foot tapping and his fumbling hands and how he can’t make eye contact all of a sudden

ofc u say YES

when you go to upload the photos for the school event .. u find some pictures of u taken by him 🥹

[op-sys-chaos]

@stealingyourbones mentioned in a post I just saw that Booster Gold could be used in a DPxDC fic related to Clockwork bc they’re both invoked in time travel stuff and omg yES I have ideas now

Feel free to use any/all of these, just tag me!

1. Booster Gold being in the present is good for the timeline, but he wants to go back to the future. Clockwork sends Danny to sabotage the time machine. Shenanigans ensue. The JL thinks Danny’s a villain until a massive attack happens, Booster Gold is very much crucial to saving the day, and afterwards Danny shows up with a perfectly intact time machine (he fixed all the damages he caused while they were fighting the villain) and goes “ok now you can go home! :)” and the JL is so confused. Dealer’s choice if they get an explanation and maybe even ask Phantom to join the JL or if Danny just vanishes, never to be seen again

2. Booster Gold wants to change something in the timeline. Clockwork needs it to stay the same. Danny and BG go back and forth trapping each other in various situations (maybe it’s comedic what they end up trapped in) until one of them gives up

3. BG and Danny actually know each other in the future. Knowing how OP Danny is and knowing he’s an active hero rn, BG keeps trying to get the JL to recruit Phantom. The JL keeps refusing (“that’s a KID Booster we can’t put a kid in the JL”) until like Vortex or someone shows up and wreaks havoc and the JL is floundering and barley hanging in there and Danny shows up and beats him in like two seconds flat. The JL just kinda goes “ok, maybe Booster had a point”

4. BG, being a time cop, and Danny, being Clockwork’s personal equivalent of a time cop, keep running into each other in various situations (usually bc Clockwork sends Danny to help BG whenever he’s in over his head). But they keep meeting out of order, not even realizing that Danny’s from the time BG ends up staying in until they run into each other on a normal, non-time related mission. Spider-man meme pointing at each other, “what are YOU doing here???”, “is there some time-related issue on top of this?”, JL confused why Booster and a random overpowered teen they just met today seem to know each other. (Their meeting in their normal time is after all the meeting out of order shenanigans. After that point, they stay together for time missions that Clockwork sends Danny to join BG on; he makes sure they meet in the right order this time.)

5. Booster and Clockwork hate each other. Danny is a big fan of BG. Shenanigans ensue

6. Danny and BG hate each other. Clockwork needs them to get along for the sake of the timeline. He keeps sending Danny to BG’s time cop missions. Will they ever make up?

7. Danny and BG are the same age and start dating. Clockwork sends them on fancy fun time travel dates

8. BG keeps running into this random kid in various places in the time stream. He only ever tells BG that “Clockwork sent me” and BG is getting more and more determined to find whoever Clockwork is and kick his ass for putting this poor precious kid in harm’s way. Hell, BG might just end up adopting this poor kid himself if that’s what it takes to save him… which is exactly what Clockwork wants

9. BG is incredibly surprised when his time mentor, Clockwork, reaches out and asks him to adopt a kid, Danny

10. BG and Clockwork are dating. Clockwork asks BG if he’s okay with adopting Danny

I can come up with more if y’all want! Please tag me if you use these I wanna see what you create :)

[mitzysmitzy]

My condolonces to the Kaishin fans, but Kaito and Shinichi being revealed to be cousins is so funny though, can you imagine if there was a family reunion??

Yusaku's like "hey Shinichi we're gonna meet my twin's family who I haven't seen in years and just found out about now" and when they show up, Kaito and Conan immediately lock eyes and do the spider-man pointing meme or something.

Shinichi/Conan will immediately guess that Kaito is his long-time arch rival and Kaito's internally screaming, just, "OH SHIT OH FUCK ARE YOU KIDDING ME WHAT THE HELL" and wonder why the world has it out for him.

[bomber-grl]

Leo Valdez x Latina/o reader

₊˚⊹Pairing(s): Leo Valdez x reader (no pronouns/no specific godly parent)

When y’all meet it’s like that one Spider-Man meme

He’s honestly really glad to meet another Latin person, especially if that person ends up his friend and eventually lover.

If you speak Spanish then best believe he gon be speaking to you in Spanish, most times it’s Spanglish but you still understand all the same.

I feel like when people of the same culture/ethnicity meet it’s an automatic click.

So that’s def what happened between the two of y’all.

Now, if you speak Portuguese or anything other than Spanish then lil blud is gonna try to learn your language 😭

I don’t make the rules that’s just how he is.

Doesn’t even matter if he butchers it so badly

(Prolly doesn’t since Portuguese and Spanish are similar (if that’s ur language btw otherwise it’s so bad 😭)

But still 🤷‍♀️

Now, if your latino then best believe y’all gon understand jokes that others don’t

Especially if someone does something dramatic. then you both automatically reference La Rosa De Guadalupe

And then it turns into this whole worm hole on the momo and ballena azul things on those episodes- and it’s a whole other story tbh

(Sorry if ur reading this at night and got scared from the flashbacks)

Anyway, he’s that one person at Latino parties that’s a lot of stereotypes ngl

Like he’ll be that one older cousin that absolutely obliterates the piñata and then runs all cutely to you to give you the candy as if he didn’t push some 5 years olds.

But also that one guy in the table chismeando with the tías

You can’t tell me he isn’t a little chismoso 😭

He’d probs also be the guy that handles the piñata and purposefully move sit out of the way each and every time.

Continuing from that…

He’d def dance w u on the dance floor

Lil blud got them moves

And he def spends the most time w the little kids

No matter where you are 😭

Moving on, if you ever call him an Edgar or sum shit then he’d get so genuinely shocked

Like you absolutely recked him

How dare you?

Especially since his hair isn’t even an Edgar cut 😭

He’d be so hurt but move on (not at all he’d hold it against you)

Ofc lil pookie loves you so let’s move onto the more affectionate hcs

He calls you mamas or mamacita (fem nicknames) 😔

*insert vine boom effect*

Not to mention if you’re male leaning he’d call u some shit like papi chulo or since he’s kinda a nerd and into anime (personal hc) he’d call u senpapi

Like ain’t no way-

Bro is so embarrassing when he says this shit like wtf 😧 nahh git trippin

Nah but (unlike in the books) him calling u this shit is mostly satire

Especially when y’all call eachother the most rancid nicknames so it’s ok 🤷‍♀️

-Sometimes…. *insert that wiener dog side eyeing meme*

It’s fun being w him cuz y’all can just casually talk about whatever that involves your culture.

Like even talking about favorite Latin snacks is an actually convo y’all have had and it’s honestly great.

Especially when he says a word in Spanish cuz he don’t know it in English

bro doesn’t know how to speak in English or Spanish sometimes.

Honestly same

I mean lil broski is glad to have you as his s/o at all

Lil homie desperate

But it’s the icing on top when he finds out your Latino/a

Makes y’all closer and makes him glad he can reference things, knowing that you’ll understand.

[rocksibblingsau]

Any thoughts about Spider x Branch ?

Absolutely

It's absolutely one of those things where WHAT could be more romantic than a rivalry. Any cartoon that has used a rivalry as a replacement for dating comes to mind.

Spider tries to do arcade dates but they just end with him being devastated and defeated at any game.

Spider tries to win prizes for Branch at festivals/fairs and fails, only for Branch to go "Aw did you want that? Here let me try." and then win it for him.

The Diner Gang and The Living Dead meet up at Jailhouse Diner for group hangouts. Branch is considered an official member of The Living Dead and there are many jokes about stealing Branch from one group or the other.

Spider would write a zombie love song for Branch. Branch doesn't have the heart to tell him he does NOT understand cannibalism as a metaphor for love.

They wear each others merch.

Spider would attempt to like BroZone because Branch was in it. When Branch says its fine, Spider is like "Good because baby this stuff is slop. 'Girl you break my heart Girl' felt like a break up song written by a 40 year old man who has never dated once in his life tried to make a break up song to appeal to teenage girls."

If Branch wrote it though he'd like it more. Still not his thing but he's just like "That's my man!" kind of supportive. He likes Kismet a bit better for this reason. (I think he and Ablaze would be friends)

Spider would live to be BroZone's #1 enemy. John Dory jokingly says "Have him back by 9" and Spider would go "Just for that, Branch how you feel about staying the night?" He picks so many fights. You know the knife cat meme? He's knife cat.

For this reason, Barb loves the guy. Barb fully supports the relationship and Spider being a nuisance.

[fcthots]

Okay, so you know how wfa has Jay on a dating app? Reader is a vigilante for another city but lives in Gotham because 'the bats can handle that so it'll protect my identity if shit goes down' and for 'plot reasons' the commute isn't bad so they're not worried about emergencies. And they meet Jason on the app and they start dating. Neither have revealed their vigilante habits to each other yet.

So one time the two stay the night at one of their apartments for a longer than a weekend amount of time also for 'plot reasons' so at one point they have to go out. But the other doesn't know so they're trying to be sneaky.

They catch each other sneaking out and it's like that Spider-Man meme

❄️

doing more bullet points bc they make "long" fics achievable

you try not to wake Jason when you get out of bed. Just in case he woke up when you moved, you fake a phone call saying you'll go feed your friend who lives in Gotham's cat.

you open the door to the bathroom to change.

Jason did hear the call. he thinks the bathroom door opening is the front door so he thinks you left.

he changes in bedroom.

you finish getting geared up and grab a sandwich from the kitchen to hold you over.

you shove the sandwich in your mouth to free up your hands as you start crawling out the window.

Jason walks out the bedroom and drops his grappling gun.

you turn around at the noise, see him holding his helmet, cue Spider-man meme, and your sandwich falls out of your mouth and out the window.

"NO! SANDWICH!"

you dive out the window for it and Jason swears he had a mini heart attack.

[gabessquishytum]

Imagine this:

Dream gets out of the cage, and, once he has his tools, goes to see Hob like in canon. They end up agreeing to see each other more often, and Dream (rather quickly) realizes he has feelings for Hob.

However, when he finally resolves to just... tell Hob how he feels, he arrives at the New Inn to discover... his younger brother Destruction is there??? And he's apparently Hob's boyfriend?????

It's the Spider-Man pointing meme.

Hob eventually explains that he met Olethros shortly after WW1 ended and that it didn't take them long to get together. Olethros knew immediately that Hob was immortal (he'll always be able to sense the power of his sister) and told Hob that he was as well. They've been together ever since, though Olethros often travels.

Dream is... happy to see his brother and know he is alright but utterly devastated that Hob is unavailable. He vows that he won't get in the way of their happiness and that he will be content just to remain Hob's best friend (he's lying to himself about that second part).

What he doesn't know is that Hob has been in love with him since they first met. Or that Hob and Olethros already spoke about him (though Ollie didn't know they were talking about his older brother) and decided that Hob could still pursue Dream if he was open to it.

Dream has no idea what he's in for, especially because Ollie can absolutely tell that he's head over heels for Hob and he's not about to let his precious immortal lose his chance with his Stranger, even if said Stranger is his older brother.

- 🐺

I am so invested in idea of a Hob sandwich between Destruction and Dream. Just the idea of Dream showing up and trying to smother his jealousy as his little brother gets to be with Hob? Incredible.

Basically Destruction's plan is to make Dream so jealous that he'll finally boil over and admit that he's completely in love with Hob. Destruction isn't going to be mean about it - really he's just indulging in a little extra PDA with his boyfriend. There's nothing wrong with that.

Except it becomes abundantly clear that Hob is incredibly horny whenever Ollie touches him in front of Dream. It just seems trigger something that leaves Hob red faced, sweating, and biting his lip. When he sits on Ollie's lap during a meet-up with Dream he almost moans as Ollie touches his thigh. Its like the fact that Dream is watching him being owned and manhandled turns him on.

Even Dream can't help but notice and wonder why Hob seems so completely out of control. And then one night, Ollie smirks and just tips Hob off his lap, right into Dream’s arms. As he stands up, he says: "Here, you look after him for a minute. I'm going to help out behind the bar. Try playing with his chest, he really likes that. You might even be able to make him cum."

Dream is left gaping and astonished. And then Hob whines softly and presses his blushing red face into Dream’s neck. Well. Good brothers do share nicely, right? If Hob wants them both then that's exactly what he'll get - thank goodness he's greedy enough to take the love of two Endless beings. Maybe he'll actually finally be sated!

[t0ast-ghost]

I will not shut up about Star Trek TOS yet and you’ve decided to listen in on that. So welcome to my thoughts on the 11th episode (The Corbomite Maneuver):

- starting off strong with these camera angles and movements

- *sees a spinning colourful cube in space* just go a bit to the left (he is not up for shenanigans today)

- can’t wait for Checkov to be introduced, I hear he gets a gun or smt

- WHAT IS THAT PHYSICAL CHECK??? Why does he have to lie on his back?? And why does he have to have his shirt off?

- if I were Spock trying to call the captain and he picks up and all I’d see was his tits… all I’m saying is he keeps a really good straight face

- OMG we got a “what am I a moon shuttle conductor or a doctor?”

- Sulu laughing at Spock’s sense of humour

- the close up on Kirk’s ass as he leaves the room is so intentional

- Bones sitting on the railing…

- how many surfaces can I sit on competition but my opponent is Leonard Bones McCoy

- just to prove my point the next scene starts with him sitting on a table

- god I feel bad for Scotty having to sit between McCoy and Spock in some of those meetings

- Sulu was cool as a cucumber

- “do you ever tire of questioning me on things you’ve already made your mind up about?” “it gives me emotional security” they are each others emotional support guy (Spock & Kirk)

- Kirk saying“navigation, you’re timing was lousy. Same with engineering, Helmsman” then Bones immediately after “you’re timing was lousy”

- how can you sit in a chair like that even (bones)

- Alexa play tik tok by Kesha

- (okay now I’m just imagining Spock dancing like one of those spider-man memes but completely straight faced (also Spock now listens to Kesha canonically but like in my head))

- THE FUCK IS THAT FUCKING THING??? THAT IS A PUPPET!

- Bones is so caring, he has so much fucking compassion I won’t shut up about him

- “you now have seven minutes left” but there’s 23 minutes left in the episode. Guess a lot of it’s just gonna be dead air… er space I mean (yeah I can come up with a better line than this later (edit: no I can’t I’m tired))

- SPOCK IS SO SAD. He truly thinks this is a hopeless situation.

- Bones is about to die in four minutes and he’s threatening Kirk because of the fact that he put Bailey’s health at risk… I love this man

- “Anytime you can bluff me, doctor” I can’t legally say what I thought was said but maybe the ancient archaeologists will know from context clues

- I don’t think Uhura has spoken to most of the bridge crew up to this point, she barely has had plot or even dialogue, I can’t wait till they give her an episode or just even make her more central

- Spock going to Kirk’s side after the bluff for emotional support

- Spock is so proud when talking about his mom :)))

- Your science and medical officers usually shouldn’t stand so close to your chair and clutch at it while leaning over you. It’s not normal behaviour.

- Okay I’d like to mention how calm Sulu has been and how much I love him, can we please get more of him in future episodes?

- wait so Bones is just gonna let Bailey go back to work? Like I get they apologized to each other but that doesn’t change that it’s still a bad idea to have him there

- Spock, Kirk, and McCoy immediately after the death threat is gone: guess it’s time to start flirting again

[Video description: Spock stands on the bridge, he says, “A very interesting game, this poker.” Kirk sitting in his captains chair replies, “It does have advantages over chess.” McCoy smiling at Spock adds, “Love to teach it to you.” Spock smiles back at him. End description]

- he’s got a twinkle in his eye

- The shake on the bridge as the tractor beam tows them is so funny if you watch Spock and McCoy (it continues to be funny for the next couple minutes)

- "Captain request to-" "Denied. If it's a trap.. If I'm wrong, I want you here" awwe he wants him safe (idc that this is not what the writers are trying to say, HE WANTS SPOCK SAFE)

- they all have to bend over on the transporter pad but when they get transported Bones isn't even bent he's just standing at his normal height slightly hunched

- HOLY CRAP I HATE THAT THING... I'm so glad it's a puppet

- nope okay I don't know what's happening, I can't. I'm. What.

- that is apple cider, they are sitting around this guy trying to drink apple cider

- McCoy doesn't know what the fuck to do right now and neither do I

Now imagine, if you will, Spock dancing

Thank you, and have a good day.

Master post of past/future episodes

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Propaganda why Batman is insufferable:

Always has to be right. Does the most janked up stuff and doesn't care who it hurts. Imposes his will on others to the point of willing to bodily harm them if they do not comply (and yes, this does include his children)

I’ll also support Batman as a candidate because of the slapping Robin meme, which is annoying, and because he is just way too much. Too much all the time.

Has to always be right, regardless of situation. Because somehow the billionaire has knowledge of how middle class people think.

Propaganda why Tony Stark is insufferable:

She’s a hypocrite who is ready to restrict the freedom of others when they make one mistake, but when he makes a mistake he figures he’s able to handle himself

Super long, sorry lol

Thinking about how in Homecoming when Peter accidentally caused that boat to get split in half because the Vulture’s gun exploded and Tony was acting like as if Peter was completely in the wrong for going there just because he did it without his permission. He was acting like as if Peter was out of line and “disobeyed him”, trying to act like his father. And then I remember how in CACW he’s the one who scouted Peter in the first place just because he saw he might be useful against a personal squabble between him and Captain America despite knowing that he was a kid and he’s just now acknowledging how dangerous it is because Peter “acted on his own”

Completely hijacking Peter’s superhero story and trying to control his every move (Training wheels protocol and baby monitor thing he put in the suit), acting like Peter should’ve known that Tony would send someone in despite the fact that he’d been ignoring him for 2 months since Civil War and not keeping him updated on anything!!

How the hell is peter supposed to know Tony is going to listen to him when he treats him like a kid instead of a superhero when it’s convenient for him? And when Tony loses his temper after Peter says he’s 15 not 14 like “the adult is talking” bitch he could literally flatten you without your suit!!!

I guess in a way he is acting like a father but like the absentee kind. He’s more like a sperm donor father trying to act like he has any rights over Peter’s life smh.

It’s not that reprimanding Peter for the situation is bad, but the way he makes it seem as if Peter is irredeemable as if Tony wasn't a literal weapons dealer lmfao. He could’ve said what was the truth about it without completely invalidating him saying shit like “no thanks to you” after Peter asked if everyone is okay when it’s literally thanks to Peter finding a lead on those guys in the first place that they were even noticed and it’s not like the FBI being there could’ve in no way caused a similar situation.

And then near the end of the movie when he’s getting crushed by the building rubble screaming and crying for someone to help him where the fuck is Tony?? That scene just proved that he never needed Tony’s suit in the first place to be Spider-Man since he had to use 100% his own strength to lift it off of him. I know he would’ve found the motivation even if Tony hadn’t been involved in the first place to give him the suit, take it away from him and have the words “if you’re nothing without the suit you shouldn’t have it“ echo in his head. Why did Tony even take the suit away? Like as if he expects Peter to stop being spoderman without it??? Holy fuck. This is why you don’t make it out of endgame /j /srs.

When Tony took this suit away from Peter he was like “God I sound like my dad“ shouldn’t that be a red flag to him? Wasn’t he literally just saying that he wished his dad was better than he was?? Lmfao

Tony is so annoying. When they first meet he straight up bullies Peter into fighting for his personal bullshit, insults and objectifies Aunt May in front of him, spits into his trashcan and is in general being pushy af. He blackmails Peter when he doesn’t wanna come to Germany with him AND HE DOESNT EVEN EXPLAIN WHY HE WANTS HIM TO COME. Uncomfortable vibes lol.

Tony being the one to tell peter “if Captain America wanted to hurt you he would’ve” when Peter was trying to state his case, yet HE’S also the one who put Peter in harms way when he didn’t even want to go with him???

Telling Peter that he should stick to being a “friendly neighborhood Spider-Man” (stealing his thing once again) when that’s what Peter _was_ doing before Tony took him out of his zone and filled his head with grander things to be apart of….bitch? Die. Ohh waaaait (jkjk) but yeah

There’s the usual “he’s a war criminal who only felt bad about it when he realized his weapons were killing white Americans as well as Arab people” reason, and also he’s just super annoying. You had to be there for the original Avengers shitty dialogue a la “we have a Hulk” that had Tumblr in a vicious chokehold. Also he was supposed to FINALLY go away after destroying all his suits in Iron Man 3 but he just… didn’t! Which is bullshit.

Portrayed as a hero because? He chose to no longer mass produce war weapons and bombs after suffering the consequences. Huge hypocrite. Doesn't care about anyone but himself. Will backstab people if they believe in human rights when it's inconvenient to him. Seen as a hero while he's the personification of privileged people saying they're not privileged

>Makes weapons

>Billionaire

>Made multiple AI Surveillance Robots

>Gaslight a child into fighting a super soldier in a foreign country for him

>His fans are annoying

[sunnysaystuff]

i genuinely just had the funniest idea ever

Imagine:

World where HB is secretly real but everyone thinks that it's just a made-up world. Like, the Hellaverse is real but we just think it's a silly web show.

Someone cosplays Blitz

They die whilst in cosplay

Person goes to Hell

The thing that turns you into a demon gets confused and just makes that person into Blitz. They are Blitz 2.0 with a bad impression of him as their voice (because that's what they were talking like when they died)

They are walking about Hell

They are confused. Why does Hell looks like Helluva Boss???

They panic when they realise they're gonna be in cosplay for eternity

They meet Blitz

Pointing spider-man meme

"YOU'RE REAL???" "DUH, BITCH! MORE IMPORTANT QUESTION: WHY THE FUCK DO YOU LOOK LIKE ME?"

Person re-evaluates life choices

Stolas goes absolutely mental and wonders about the issues with being attracted to fake-Blitz

Blitz's ego goes through the roof

Fake-Blitz just lives as an accessory to IMP and represents them when Blitz is out of office

Nobody tells Moxxie about fake-Blitz and it gets increasingly funnier as he gets more and more confused and upset by Blitz's sudden abilities to teleport

After about a year of 2 Blitz's, Moxxie finally realises

Absolute madness

Brandon Rogers goes to Hell (sorry but he's dead now)

The thing repeats but it's now 'Blitz, fake-Blitz and fake-voice-Blitz'

Fizzarolli never finds out about fake-Blitz and just lives in mild confusion at why he sometimes seems slightly different

YESS OH MY GOD

THIS IS SO FUNNY HELP and then and then suppose bryce pinkham dies

and then we have like

goetic prince voice masquerader running around too

and it's more silly homo tension between brandon and bryce LMFAOOO

that would be so funny

suppose blitz gets curious and goes to the human world to knock off a stolas cosplayer and see what happens

boom stolitz cosplay running around hell and fucking with everyone

bro i'd read (or write) that crackfic

[teatroll]

someone said "faking an orgasm with miguel is impossible"

so i said "nothing is impossible, baby gorilla" and wrote THIS

enjoy..?

+18; Miguel O'Hara × spider-girl!reader; memes, crack and a bit of smut; one phrase in Spanish; no uses of y/n

Your made up moan forces a low growl out of him. Right into your folds. Not like it was unpleasant or anything, but you were too distracted to notice it.

Now, why were you on your phone when Miguel O'Hara was eating you out like a gentleman?

Oh, that's because you agreed to meet up with your spider gang to watch a movie and you were already late, texting them "sorrys" and "brbacks".

Because Miguel is a feral beast and he pinned you to the wall when you were ready to head out, but you didn't mention that part.

A short "no" didn't cut it. A "i promised them" didn't work either. And since you're just unable to dismiss this man, you agreed because now he promised you to be quick.

Another lie you were facing currently, because it's been more than fifteen minutes during which you couldn't focus on his tongue circling your clit at all, because you were anxious.

Well, what can you say? The movie promised to be good, you kinda genuinely wanted to see it with your new friends.

But today promises seemed to be nothing but a lie well told.

"Oh, i'm cumming..." Jesus fucking Christ, that was so unrealistic you mentally smacked yourself in the face. Did Miguel also notice, or you just imagined that low rumble under the sheets? "Oh, wow, so good..."

How much more cringy can it get? You'd burst into laughter if you weren't texting into the groupchat right now.

Truth be told, it felt good. But Miguel always took his time with you, enjoying every whimper and moan rolling off your tongue, like it were angels singing. It was kinky, but not today. Today time is money, and in that case literally.

You let out another fake moan and slightly twitched your hips for a more plausible effect. Make 'em believe it feels good and they feel like champions afterwards. A motto that right now was useful.

Or wasn't it..?

Miguel's head poked out from under the sheets. A scowl on his face present.

"And what even was that?"

He snarled, showing off his fangs. A sight that usually made your heart rate speed up. Now? Only made you hum in thought.

"An orgasm?"

The silence was tangible as fuck now. O'Hara didn't even flinch when another fake smile appeared on your face.

Yeah, he called dibs on bullshit even before you opened your mouth, that's for sure.

"Miggy, i told you, i'm late!" You protested, lightly shaking your phone with an open groupchat. "Very sweet of you to show me this courtesy, but the guys are waiting for me in the theater!"

"You'll have to call it off." His hot breath on your skin makes you slightly shiver. "I'm not letting you go until i hear you pleading my name for more."

"In that case i'm not going anywhere at all!" You still pout, despite how sweet it feels when he presses a soft kiss to your inner thigh.

"That's why you'll call it off." Miguel hoarsely snickers in between your legs.

An eye roll from you doesn't change his mind at all.

"Miggy..." You start with a sly smile before flipping him off. "Vete a la mierda."

"I regret teaching you this." He sighs, pressing his cheek to your inner thigh.

"And i regret agreeing to this." You point with your free hand at O'Hara between your legs, which only makes him smirk.

And that's not his typical smug smirk at all. It's kind of predatory. Hot and dangerous? Yeah, that was it.

"You'll change your mind in just about now..." He hoarsely whispers before sinking his sharp canines into your sensitive flesh.

You loudly gasp, one hand already finding its way into his hair to tug on it desperately. As if that could ever make him stop.

Never in your whole relationship this worked, not even once. After a night well spent, you were always covered in those love bites, not just thigh wise.

And Miguel knew exactly what it did to you, how you can barely hold yourself just now, biting on your bottom lip so hard it draws blood. All that just to prevent a loud moan from escaping your mouth. And he seemed really intended to hear it, his two fingers slipping into you with ease as his thumb circled your now throbbing clit.

Jesus fucking Christ...

You mentally smacked yourself once again as your back arched in pleasure, a chocked moan finally finding its way out of you.

"Now that's much better, cariño." Miguel cooed before pressing another kiss to the love bite.

Were you fucked? Well, yeah, both literally and metaphorically.

Does it feel good? Absolutely, one hundred percent, big fat cock "yes".

However, there was a problem.

An open groupchat.

...

pavitr_loves_you:

guys, i'll go get popcorn! any requests?

gweaanda:

extra butter, please

kilometer_moralfull:

ooh!

i wanna try the blueberry one!

pavitr_loves_you:

got it 😉

capitalism_sucks:

pav wait up

i'll go with you

kilometer_moralfull:

anyone seen arachne?

capitalism_sucks:

nope

but i bet she got stuck in webs again

pavitr_loves_you:

🤔

gweaanda:

where is she at?

the movie starts soon

:arachnophobe is recording a voice message:

gweaanda:

finally!

what takes you so long?!

arachnophobe:

▶️---------0:02

kilometer_moralfull:

OMG

gweaanda:

...

sounds like someone is having fun already

capitalism_sucks:

it could be a metaphor

pavitr_loves_you:

what's in it? i can't listen yet, i'm paying up 😩

kilometer_moralfull:

PAVI DON'T !!!

HOBIE GET HIS PHONE RIGHT NOW

pavitr_loves_you:

already on it 👹

damn he got so many emojis

gweaanda:

yeah, anyways...

something tells me she's not coming

capitalism_sucks:

nah it sounds like she is

kilometer_moralfull:

PLEASE STOP ???

...

sorry not sorry..? ;)

[jake-g-lockley]

I'm back :D

OKAY so I have TWO prompts you can feel free to pick from whichever you want!! if one has already been written/requests then thats okay (its mainly why i picked two jUST IN CASE!!!!!)

How aboutttttt the cutie pie moon boys with either prompt #15 or #21?! I DONT MIND EITHER WHICHEVER WORKS BETTER FOR YOU (im so indecisive and they're both so cute?!?)

THANK YOU LOVELY!!!

Poison Tree (Moon Knight x reader)

Masterlist | Spotify Playlist | Wanna be Tagged?

Prompt: the spider-man meme where they're all pointing at each other but it's a conversation like *i said i didn't like you like that because you said you didn't like me" "but i said i didn't like you because you were literally in love with someone else" then "i only said i was in love with them because you didn't want me!

A/N: Heya lovelyyy!! Thank you so much for the ask, I switched it up a tiny bit but I hope you like it ehhehe.

Warnings: everyone here is an idiot istg, a touch of angst, them not being able to say what they need to say, seriously; they have three people in their head and they’re that dumb? AHAHAH, light allusions to smut.

Word Count: 2.1 k 

☾ .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Buying things was something that plagued you like a weird disease that never went away. You didn’t have this type of luxury when you were younger, your mother always forced you to save whatever money you made and scared you into thinking that you would not have a single cent on you when you truly needed it. Funnily enough, when you started earning your own money, you gave in and started to spend on things that your mother would frown upon.

You stared up at the shelf of books before you, sighing frustratedly as you gazed at the beautiful new covers. You cursed yourself for walking into the new luxury bookstore that opened in the mall, your mother’s voice echoing loudly in your head. You screwed your eyes tightly and tried to imagine something that would pull you away from both the thought of buying the book and the sound of your mother’s grating voice.

You were laying down on the couch, your body aching deliciously from the weight of something covering you. Your hands were preoccupied, carding through soft curls as large hands squeezed your sides. You were smiling down at the person who was cuddling you close and the person looked up at you, big brown, doe like eyes meeting yours.

“You know I have those books in my flat?” a voice pulled you out of your little daydream making you gasp as you whirled around and your eyes met the same brown eyes you were imagining. 

Steven Grant was smiling at you, his lopsided grin matching his curls that flopped to his forehead. Steven always looked comfortable and you always had the inevitable urge to squeeze him. Oh, how you yearned to press your nose into his chest as you hugged him close. You faked a scowl and Steven’s grin got wider as his hand shot out and gripped your wrist.

“If you behave, I’ll let you borrow them someday.” his voice twisted your insides as he pulled you away from the shelf.

Your heart swooned whenever you were around Steven. He and the other two were your poison tree, the bunch you had intended to stay far away from but couldn’t get enough of. He gently pulled your book bag off your shoulder and slung it on his own as the both of you walked to the cafe that the both of you hung out at on a weekly basis. You’d mark your student’s exercise books while Steven did his research on the ancient artifact he was writing about.

At times, you’d feel his eyes on you and you knew it wasn’t exactly Steven looking at you anymore

“Hi, Marc.” you said, without looking up from what you were marking.

“I still don’t get how you do that.” The deep Chicago accent makes you shiver slightly.

“Your posture changes, dummy.” you said, earning a chuckle from him.

“How are the kids doing this week?” he asked, leaning forward to take a look at what you were marking. 

“Pretty good actually, their grammar is getting better and I think they enjoy my classes.”

“I’m sure they do, princesa.” came the beautiful spanish drawl. 

“Now, what did I say about switching mid conversation.” 

A long pause greeted you and you finally looked up from the book you were marking to see Jake staring at you with a satisfied smile.

“That it’s rude?”

“Mhmm.”

“I made you look though.” he winked at you and your insides turned into pure mush.

Outside, you rolled your eyes and casted your eyes back down onto the exercise book, holding back a grin of your own. 

“So, how is Mr. Daniels?” 

Your eyebrows furrowed and you looked back at Marc who was now leaning back in his chair, his arms crossed in front of him. You didn’t get why he would always ask you about the math teacher, you only called Mr. Daniels cute once in your life. 

“He’s good, I guess.” you took a sip of your coffee and bowed your head, not letting Marc see what was clearly written all over your face.

For months, you have been trying to get rid of the feelings you felt for the three men. They were absolutely beautiful and had personalities that fired up your very being, but an unfortunate incident stood between you and them.

Flashback

You and him were a little too close, you could see all of the little details of his face. You and him had demolished a bag of doritos and the empty wine glasses made the both of you giggle incredulously. You didn’t know who you were looking at, the alcohol muddling your brain as your eyes zeroed on the doritos dust at the side of his mouth. 

“You know I was thinking of asking Dylan out, the tour guide at the museum.” Steven’s voice burned a hole through your heart and you smiled, hiding the pain that coursed through you.

“You should.” you whispered, trying your hardest not to let your heart betray you.

“Jake suggested for me to take her out to that steak shop.” he leaned back into the sofa and stared up at the ceiling. 

“And what are you gonna eat there, silly.” you stifled a giggle.

“I dunno, bread, salad?” 

You tried to laugh the best you could despite the achy feeling at the pit of your stomach. 

End of flashback

“How’s Dylan?” you asked. 

“She’s alright.” Steven said softly. 

“Hmm.”

Your eyes caught a couple behind Steven and you smiled gently as one of them kissed the other one’s knuckles.

Jake noticed and turned around too, turning back to you with a grin and plucking the red pen out of your hand before suddenly taking your hand in his. Your heart blazed when you felt his lips on your knuckles and your breathing stopped for a second, his eyes shining with mischief. You quickly snatched your hand away from him and you could note the change in the way his eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“Hey, you know I was just joking, it didn’t mean anything.” he said quickly. 

It didn’t mean anything.

“Yea, I know, Jake , you don’t like me like that.” you said before you could stop yourself.

Jake’s thoughts raced as Marc and Steven panicked inside his head. They weren’t supposed to like you like that but they do and they wanted to stand on top of the table that you both were at and scream that fact at the top of their lungs.

You couldn’t mark anything anymore, with the way he kept reminding you of your failed love life. Your failed, unrequited love for them. You snatched the pen back from him and tapped the book in front of you, thinking of your next move. You quickly grab your phone and text one of your friends, Sam. Code red, the code you always used to get out of situations you didn’t like and you were feeling really uncomfortable with the energy you had created. 

A few minutes later, to your pure relief, your friend called you.

“Oh, umm, I have to go, Sam is stuck in a … situation.” you say as you frantically shove your stuff into your bag.

“Right, let me help you with that.” Steven said, standing up, a worried look on his face.

“It's okay, I got it.” you gave him a reassuring smile and tucked a five pound bill under the coffee.

“I’ll see you.”

“Yeah.” Steven rubbed the back of his neck, wondering if he had said anything out of the way, his heart pounding as he watched you walk out of the cafe.

☾ .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You woke up hours later to a knock at your door. Your face was wet and you checked your phone for any messages, absolutely shocked to see about 14 missed calls from the boys, another five from your best friend and dozens of messages. You flung yourself out of bed and ran to the front door

You opened it to see a frantic Jake standing outside, his hair a mess. Without a word, he wrapped his arms around you and hugged you close, mumbling something into your hair in spanish.

“Shit, I thought something happened when you didn’t answer your calls. I called Sam and she couldn’t get a hold of you.” Jake’s voice was bubbling with tears and you looked up at him in shock. 

“Jake, I-” suddenly, his lips were on yours and you felt yourself being lifted off your feet.

The kiss was as frantic as he looked and you became putty in his arms as you tried your best to steady yourself. You pulled away and stared at the man in front of you, only to see Steven’s eyes staring back. Your hands came up to touch your lips and you couldn’t help but touch his lips too. 

“Sorry, fuck, I know you’re with-” you cut him off with another kiss and you felt all of your worries wash over you.

Your hands grip his face and you hold onto him until the both of you are out of air. 

“Fuck, what about Dy-” you pulled away and started to say, but Marc pushed you against the wall and caught your lips with his again, wordlessly asking you to jump as he gripped your hips hard. 

You jumped and wrapped your legs around his torso, your bodies sandwiched together. Your hands carded up his curls and you pulled on them for purchase, causing him to groan against your lips. 

“Wait, Marc, Jake, Steven, what’s happening.” you pull away, your confusion creeping up the satisfied feeling that you were feeling. 

You couldn’t tell who had control of the body as they pushed their forehead against yours, just holding you against the wall. 

“I don’t know,” you heard Steven’s voice whisper as he ducked his head lower.

Your hands were still in his hair and you pulled him closer.

“Put me down.” you whispered after a while and unlocked your ankles.

Their eyes were casted downward as they tried their best to not look at you. You pulled them to your dining table and busied yourself with making a cup of tea, chewing at your swollen bottom lip, wondering what had just happened. You wanted to feel it again so bad, the passion they pushed upon you was so fiery that you wanted nothing more but to have it course through your veins again. You sighed as you pushed the cup of tea in front of them.

“Whoever is fronting, could you please just explain what happened?” you calmly asked. 

When their eyes met with your’s, you could clearly see Marc’s sadness and it crushed your heart.

“We’re sorry we springed on you like that.” he whispered. “The truth is, I- we are in love with you.'' The last bit of his sentence came out like it was a harsh secret, clawing its way out of his voice box. 

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

“Fuck.” was all you could say as you swallowed down your own tears. 

“But we know that you don’t feel like that for us, so you-” he continued. 

“Wait, who said that?” you cut him off, your heart thudding in your chest.

“You did.” Steven mumbled. “Just now, we only said that we didn’t like you like that because you made it clear how you felt about us.” 

“But- but I only did that because you have feelings for someone else! You know? The woman you are dating!” 

“We only said that because you said you found the math teacher at your school cute!” Marc slammed his hand down, making you jump. “We’re not dating Dylan!”

“I was joking, you dumbass! Oh my fucking god!” you slammed your hands down and stood up, pushing Marc’s chair back and straddling him without another word.

You kissed him like you meant it, putting your soul out there so that it would meet theirs. All the anger you felt was channeled back into the kiss and you wanted them to choke on their own passion with the way you pressed yourself against them. Marc sighed against your lips and melted away, letting the body switch frantically between Steven, himself and Jake. When you finally felt satisfied you pulled away and gave them a small smile.

“You boys love me huh?” you brushed their fringe away from their face and looked into the eyes that held the only three that you would hand your heart to. “Well, I love you too, cowards.”

“Hey, watch who you’re calling a coward.” Steven’s hands gripped hard at your hips as he grinned up at you, leaning in and kissing you softly. 

After a while he brought his lips next to your ear, he whispers “This coward won’t let you borrow his books until he makes you forget your own name.”

Your eyes widened and you shook your head, wondering what awaited at the top of the poison tree you managed to climb up on. 

Reblogs are appreciated ~~~

Taglist: @fandxmslxt69 @randomnessfangirl @in-between-the-cafes @bodhisattva11 @marc-spectors-wife @nyotamalfoy @steven-grants-world @jbearre85 @whatsliferightnow @excitedcurtain864 @minigirl87 @wonderfulboiledcoldpotato @alexxavicry @autismsupermusicalassassin @flordelalunas @marygraceee @lia275 @euphoricosmo @sky-robin @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @sugarpunch-princess @violet-19999 @celiaswife @swiggy-needs-mental-help @ghostheartbeat @kierramofficial @ryebreadsworld @your-voice-is-mellifluous @lil-stark @absolutelybloodyhopeless @mintpurplemnm @spookyysilverr @bubblezuku

[themanlykittenkayden]

Things I wish to see fanart of immediately, One Insane Day of Prison Edition (and it’s not even done yet):

- Everyone meeting up in the vents like the Spider-Man meme

- Quacki. Just so much Quacki

- Angsty Cellbit ghost fanart

- Arin’s “Why is no one acting concerned that our lives are in danger?”

- More fanart of Philza having a big nest with all the egg beds in his room

- Arin getting fucking Codenapped??

- Phil just suddenly leaning in to Missa for a full kiss for basically a dare!

- And then getting dared to do so again later and when Quacki said they were being too chaste Missa being the one to REALLY kiss him!!!!!!!!

- Phil and Fit making (another) grand escape attempt and Missa just tripping and dying

- The whole Bad/Foolish situation???

- The three way kiss????? (I didn’t watch either of those happen yet)

- oh god just Charlie, every word out of Charlie’s mouth really