#and so they see a person with Normal Range Of Motion who is just physically weak instead of someone with hypermobility

[sol1loqu1st]

i am definitely worried abt my posture and upper back getting worse though. esp since i'll probably be using them the same as how you'd use, like, two canes, alternating steps to help take some of my weight but still, like, using both legs, rather than the more standard "i've got a Foot Injury" method of using crutches and like. i genuinely don't have the strength in my chest and upper back muscles to maintain good posture and havent for a while, and it's something i would Like To Fix but i get the feeling it's going to make that worse. maybe i should invest in a back brace but then i'm going to lose whatever muscle i have there and have to rely on that forever. fucking hate this

[kobold-that-bites-people]

dunno if this will get to anyone that it's relevant to, but as a transfem that's had bottom surgery (a rather standard penile inversion vaginoplasty) and is mostly recovered at this point, i'd like to give a few notes on my experience. hopefully it reaches some people who are considering and would be helped by such anecdotes. anyway, in no particular order,

it's major surgery. recovery is gonna suck about the same as other major surgeries. that said, a lot of the discomfort is frontloaded. in my case, i experienced about 2/3 of the pain i could attribute to recovery over the last six months, in the first week. the sheer drop in pain once the catheter came out alone was night and day. the first week was miserable though, you *need* someone, ideally multiple someones, who can look after you through that stage. (if you are in the green lands of not america, or just are well funded, many hospitals will look after you for the first week or so, but as a broke american i was only in hospital for about a day and a half. maybe two days, memory is a little fuzzy from the opiates (which i stopped almost as soon as i got out of the hospital, the brain fog from opiates is real)

it's been said other places, but it is really likely you will experience a lot of emotions during recovery. this can take a lot of forms, but in my case i had to grapple with a lot of "doubts" about if it was even what i wanted, if it was worth it to me, if it even looked natural enough, and so on. part of that is just that it's a major change in your body image, so doubts are normal and expected. part of it is that after major physical trauma like surgery, your body will amplify a lot of emotions intensely. try not to listen to the dysphoria talking when things still need to heal. the difference between a week from the surgery and a couple months later is *massive*.

this might be obvious to a lot of people, but for people like me that have only ever been even slightly intimate with partners that have cocks, pussies come in a *lot* of shapes. the very limited range depicted in a lot of common art and porn and games and so on, is simply not a representative sample of all the shapes that a pussy can be. despite my anxieties over my own, every person that has seen it so far has either had explicit compliments, or at least backhanded ones about how "normal" it looks.

despite how cautious doctors will be about promising function, it is entirely possible you'll have every function you might expect from a natal vagina. i get a not insignificant amount of self lubrication, can feel everything better than i dared hope for, and despite having to completely relearn what motions work for it i can reliably reach orgasms just as well as i could pre-op. that said, i don't self lubricate quite as much as *some* cis women manage. it's usually enough for fingering myself, but if i wanted to use a toy, or be penetrated by a partner, it simply isn't reasonable to go without generous lube. mostly because while i have some self-lubrication, it isn't exactly produced *quickly*, and friction can quickly dry it up, especially outside my entrance.

dilation can be many things, but it's usually mostly just tedious. it hurt *some* at the start, but once the swelling went down it generally only hurt as i went up a size. nowadays i only feel a miniscule amount of pain with the stretch as i work my largest dilator in, and that fades within about 30 seconds. the better you are at getting it done reliably, the less it will hurt. missing a session, especially earlier in recovery, will be *felt* the next time you dilate.

if you are open about your having had bottom surgery, or end up hospitalized from complications thereof, (as i did, i'll spare the medical details) there are a lot of people that will try to justify wanting to see, for motives that i'll leave as an exercise to the reader to deduce. such people will include doctors, nurses, and plenty of people with more spurious motives. i've had more people barge in on me while i was dilating within the last months since i had bottom surgery, than ever barged in on me while i was masturbating in the earlier 26 years of my life. *please* be aware that part of being perceived as "more a woman" is that you will likely experience more such attentions, in the various forms that takes. sometimes positive it is true, but usually not.

[eljeebee]

Summer Prelude: Shipwrecked in Sulani

It was just supposed to be a reconnaissance. Her shuttle was upgraded to “hide” her from the radars when surveying this planet. They know civilization might not even exist there yet based on old reports, but you’ll never know…

The mothership was hidden far from this planet, near the edge of the system, and she was tasked to physically survey the planet and collect any data from it.

P’tonia was sure her shuttle was in good shape – until it wasn’t. Her shuttle’s systems failed, prompting her to land. It burned when it broke through the atmosphere, which normally happens, unless your systems are broken and there are no shields to protect you from the burn. It was all too fast. She remembered scrambling to get herself ejected from the shuttle, remembered it going straight to the ocean. She remembered fighting the debris away from her and swimming ashore.

And then when she reached the sandy beach, she dropped to the ground, exhausted. Sleep took her.

And now…

P’tonia decided to look around, she knows she can’t immediately recover her shuttle, but there might be materials…

So, even if afraid, she walked.

Until…

A…person…stood from her. Curly hair, blue eyes, and their eyes look…kind. Their mouth moved, speaking something, but P’tonia couldn’t understand what they were saying.

Alarm bells rang through her head and P’tonia quickly backed up, holding her fighting stance. Stars, she thought, I didn’t know this planet supports…people. The last report from this planet was from Ach’ska, and it was a long time ago…

“Who are you? Where am I?” P’tonia asked warily.

She blinked. “It seems like we don’t understand each other…”

The person let out a hm. And then suddenly, they let out a harmonious voice. Singing? What for? Is this a threat? P’tonia thought, alarmed.

As the person sang, there were rays of light coming out from their mouth and started circling both. P’tonia froze, “What are you doing? What do you think – ”

The person continued to sing, and as the lights further twirled around them, P’tonia starts to understand the song. At the same time, it calmed her. And when the song ended…

“Are you okay?” the person asked.

P’tonia gasped. Whatever this person did, it made her understand what they were saying!

“I understand you!” P’tonia cried, and then she doubled down, confused when she found herself speaking another language unfamiliar to her, but familiar to her tongue.

“I’m glad to hear it,” the person gently smiled. “I hope that didn’t scare you. What I did was a merfolk spell. It’s not harmful, don’t worry; just something to help you talk to me.”

“Mer…merfowk?” P’tonia echoed, feeling the word through her mouth. Is this what the race are called in this planet?

The person nodded. “We saw a big ball of fire diving straight to the ocean…it must be you. The Sulanians were scared, so I came her to investigate. As a merfolk, I consider myself as the protector of the islands and its waters. I’m not here to fight, though. I only wanted to talk. But if you try and hurt them…”

“Scared? No, no!” P’tonia gasped, “I’m not here to hurt anyone, I promise! I’m lost!”

“I could see that,” they said. “The spirits told me you’re not bound from this world.”

“Spirits?” P’tonia tilted her head, confused. “Bound?”

The person only smiled. “It’ll be a lot to take in, why don’t we go sit down and talk? Come, we can chat inside that shipwreck. The children steered clear from this place when you crashed here.”

They motioned for her to follow. As they walked, the person suddenly paused. “Where are my manners? I’m Perlas of St. Taz! You are standing on one of the islands of Sulani, Mua Pel’am!”

“Mua Pel’am, Sulani…what a beautiful name! You have a beautiful name as well; does it mean anything?” P’tonia cooed. Her worries and fears washed away as she relaxed. If the people in this planet is as kind as they, then maybe she doesn’t need to be defensive? Good, because she hates fighting.

“It means Pearl,” Perlas smiled.

“How wonderful,” P’tonia nodded. “Oh! I am P’tonia Vix, Princess of Galatea. I’m serving…well, was serving in the Ach’ska Memoir, until my shuttle went…garbage.”

“A princess! Well then, Princess Tonya, follow me!”

“Oh, please, just P’tonia,” she bashfully says, “Father taught me that royalty means nothing when serving in the navy, and especially when you find yourself lost in a foreign world. And I’m not really used to curtsies or when people kneel for me, and regard me so highly. I usually keep myself in the workshops and work on my projects…”

Perlas let out a laugh. “Come on then, Tonya. Tell me everything and I will answer whatever question you ask.”

[malsfefanfics]

Edelgard x Flayn post war recovery

Let's go for it.

Edelgard let out a soft grunt as she felt her leg being pushed back towards her chest. Ever since the end of the war, her health had been taking a turn for the worst. It wasn't until Professor Hanneman came running with his team declaring they'd succeeded in their research that she'd found some modicum of hope for living beyond thirty.

And now, nearly two months after just healing from her Crest removal surgery, having both Seiros and Flames removed from her blood, she found herself laying on the floor, on a thick mat of weaved hay and feather down as Flayn helped her with her stretches. Normally Hubert would be the one she turned to for this. Finding herself in such a vulnerable position in front of anyone else made her stomach churn.

But Hubert was away in Nuvelle, so Flayn had insisted that she could handle all the physical therapy Manuela had assigned. Stretches, strength training, everything she would need to regain reasonable range in motion again.

"How do you feel?" Flayn asked as they stopped for a drink.

"I thought it would be hard, but I'm okay." Edelgard happily drank down the water, sighing contently at the coolness offsetting her aching muscles.

Flayn nodded. "I am glad you are able to handle these exercises now. It was rather....'touch and go', as it were. You did not seem to be handling it well at first."

Edelgard held back the urge to correct her. There was no way to hide the truth from her now. "Perhaps it was rather difficult. But they've been getting easier. I don't think I'm at the point I can do most of them myself yet, though."

"That is why I'm here." Flayn leaned in and gave her a brief kiss. "Once you are finished with your recovery, we can make good on that promise."

"Promise?"

Flayn stared at her sternly. "Did you forget the promise we made before the surgery? Hubert assured me that he would see to the planning personally-"

Edelgard giggled. "I didn't forget, Flayn. I was just kidding."

After an overly dramatic gasp, Flayn lightly smacked the Emperor on the shoulder. "You dare tease me? Perhaps I should eat your portion of dessert tonight as pennance."

"Perish that thought. I will share at most."

"So greedy!"

"I'm the greedy one? Who nearly ate the entire palace out of its entire fish storage."

"If you did not want me to eat the fish, you should not have made it so delicious and within my reach."

The two laughed, lightly shoving each other playfully. Neither thought they'd be lucky enough to be given such a chance at happiness.

They would be sure to savor it.

[average-transdalorian]

Y’know what I want to see? A Mecha that really leans in to how difficult coming up with control interfaces is. Like, most Mecha (as far as I’m aware) have some sort of physical, psychic, or mental link between the pilot and the mech (Pacific Rim has physical and mental, G-Witch has mental via permet, other Gundam timelines might? Have psychic links? NGE has psychic links I’m pretty sure, Aliens’ work loader has a physical link, NieR: Automata has a mental link), but I want to see a series where those AREN’T reasonable interfaces, so skilled mech pilots choose how they control their mechs

Obviously, the cockpits would be entirely modular, with pilots able to switch out control interfaces and setups as they please, and pilots would be able to program in their own moves (or download moves other people made and posted online)

Automatic getup and positioning in various environments would be troublesome, so a lot of people choose mechs with low centers of gravity and wide, spread apart feet/treads

The worldwide grounded mech tournament champion’s setup is basically just a rolling bunker with a giant rapier on an arm on top of it; the controls are a lock-on button (which automatically moves the mech to within normal fencing range), and two touch screens (one to position the arm, one to make a motion for an attack), as well as some foot pedals for some other basic functionality

The spoiled rich kid has this super expensive shield generator that makes it so that they can straight up just upload a fighting game character’s moves onto their mech (including shielding) so they use a fightbox to play

Some corporation or something is doing a super fucked up unethical breeding or genetic modification program to try and create a pilot who can move their digits and think fast enough to activate every muscle analogue the right amount at the right time

Some people have 3rd person pov drones and basically just play Armored Core except from inside the mech

Someone who can’t afford a bunch of extra equipment instead binds buttons to automatic combos

Someone uses just a normal gaming console controller but with a lock-on function to make it so that the right stick can be used for extra moves (they’re in a homoerotic rivalry with someone who does the exact same thing but with a GameCube controller specifically)

There are some people out there who do just map the mech’s movements to their body movements and have like. Joycons or vr controllers for options that aren’t physical movement, but they have to have extraordinary stamina AND desyncing with your mech’s position is a common issue

Someone invents an i-frames shield generator and just plays a soulslike

A pair or trio have just SO many buttons, and each one moves a specific part a specific way (they’re the narrative foil to fucked up unethical breeding/genetics pilot from earlier)

I just want to see Mecha that explore having no good way to map human movement onto a mech, and have fully user-decided control and interface schemes to deal with that, y’know?

[xadnem]

I'm not a sink biologist, so bear with me as I clumsily explain my taxonomic preferences for these most majestic and vital of nature's beasts using terms I come up with in my head because again I do not have any formal training in sink biology.

To my mind, there are basically five types of sink faucet: motion sensor, ball joint, pull-tap, twin tap, and timed depression.

Motion sensor sinks are great in theory, though I have my personal gripes. Putting your hands under a faucet and just having it work? Incredible. Never again will I have to put my freshly cleaned hands directly on the same surface I was just touching while they were dirty. Unfortunately there was quite a while where the sensors just didn't recognize me as a physical entity, and so they withheld their aqueous bounty from my poor disgusting hands. We've reached an understanding now, but old wounds heal slowly and flare up at the worst of times.

Ball joint sinks are pretty much the standard against which I judge all others. Totally normal sink exhibiting totally normal sink behavior. Push lever up to make water go, turn left for hot, turn right for cold. Perhaps less convenient than a motion detecting sink, but what you lose in convenience you gain in control and reliability. Good sink.

The pull-tap is everything that the ball joint is but worse. You don't have the mechanical advantage of the lever so you have to really touch the tap in order to pull it back and let the water flow. Then when you're done washing your hands you get to touch the same surface you just touched with your filthy little piss hands. Realistically this is a very minimal degree of contact, and this sink is functional, but the ball joint sink is strictly better.

The twin tap gives you separate control over hot and cold water. Unique from the pull-tap in that you don't have to put force into it and typically the taps themselves are long levers that require minimal physical contact. Good for both wider ranges of temperature and better temperature control, unless the two taps operate two separate faucets, in which case they only appeal to freaks like me who would shower in an autoclave if they thought it wouldn't cause them severe and lasting physical damage.

The timed depression sink is the strongest evidence I have that people who design public restrooms don't actually want you to wash your hands when you're done. The "water saving" feature of having a little knob that you can press down to dispense water, only to have it stop flowing some three to five seconds later, is a thinly veiled attack on public health. Depression describes both the method of activation and the dread it instills in me the second I see it after having enjoyed an otherwise uneventful trip to the public restroom. If I'm ever given the opportunity to go back in time, the inventor of this sink is next on my list after killing Hitler.

[randomoranges]

amnesia au part 196

Of course, on the morning of their date, Étienne woke up feeling completely off both mentally and physically. He thought and hoped it would pass, but the more the day went on, the more the idea of being out literally anywhere made his stomach turn. He felt even worse thinking Edward would be annoyed at him for having to cancel, however eventually, he had no choice but to text him.

“I can always come over and make us dinner at yours, if you’d prefer and feel up to it.” Edward texted back without a trace of anger Étienne had for sure thought would be there. (Then again, some small voice dared to remind him, Edward had always stuck around when he’d had a bad day in the past and had never been nasty about it, why would that have changed?)

It wasn’t that Étienne didn’t want Edward over. On the one hand, the idea of spending another evening alone made his skin crawl, but on the other, the idea of his “first” date with Edward being at his apartment because he was having a terrible day and Edward having to take care of him made him feel just as bad.

“But this was supposed to be a date; I don’t want you to be bored or have to take care of me when we were meant to go out.”

“Ok, how’s this: I’ll bring a book and we can just hang out. I’ll still make dinner and we can just spend time together doing our own thing. I don’t mind. Promise.”

He knew Edward’s message was supposed to make him feel better, but somehow it only made him feel even worse that on one day he was meant to function like a normal human being, his body and mind had decided to rebel against him.

“If you really don’t feel up to it, it’s okay and I understand, but I really don’t mind a quiet evening together just chilling.” Edward reiterated after some time had passed.

Biting his lip, Étienne sent out a quick reply before he could change his mind or overthink it too much. “Ok you can come. I do actually want to see you despite everything else.” He also tried to convince himself that Edward wouldn’t have insisted if he didn’t actually want to come over. Once to be polite maybe, but not multiple times.

“Great. I’ll stop by my place to grab some things for dinner and then I’ll drive over as planned. Let me know if you change your mind/if anything comes up x”

Étienne stared at that x for longer than necessary before he promised him that he would and then went to hope that he’d feel somewhat better by the time Edward would come over.

Of course, the universe had forsaken him and so, when his doorbell rang a few hours later, he still felt like garbage, but the prospect of seeing Edward and spending some time with him did make him feel somewhat better – or, at the very least, he didn’t feel like sheltering under a multitude of blankets.

He held Mercury back as he opened the door and was immediately handed a bag as a form of greeting.

He juggled the logistics of groceries and excited puppy as he let Edward in without letting Mercury out and somehow or other, the groceries, dog and human all managed to remain in one piece and on the appropriate side of the door.

“Sorry about all of that; I’m still training her not to jump on people when the doorbell rings; she gets a little too excited.”

Edward made a motion with his hands to let him know that it was fine and crouched low to properly greet Mercury, who was more than happy to see another person, while Étienne brought the first bag to his kitchen.

When he returned to his entrance, Edward was standing once more and so he did the one thing he’d been looking forward to all day and went to greet Edward properly with a long hug. At least, even after many years, Edward’s hugs were still as warm and comforting as they had always been and Étienne let himself be held.

“Thank you for letting me come over; how d’you feel?”

Étienne shrugged from inside the embrace. He’d had worse days, sure, and he’d managed to force himself to take Mercury out for a walk and wash himself before Edward arrived, but that was where his list of accomplishments ended.

“I’ll live; thank you for being accommodating.”

“Of course.”

Étienne led him to the kitchen and showed Edward where the pots and pans were, before he went to sit at the kitchen table, his leg being a rightful pain.

“I’m sorry I can’t do more to help.”

“Don’t worry about it. You stay there and if I need anything I’ll ask.”

He did just that and soon through their conversation, Edward had his kitchen smelling delicious.

Étienne had done his best to stay hydrated and eat during the day and he knew he had to get his weight back up if he ever wanted to get the surgery for his leg, but all his efforts had been put in managing his pain and taking care of Mercury.  Therefore, he had been overwhelmed with the mere idea of making something and thus, he’d snacked here and there when he needed to take his medication, nothing more.

Now, the smell of Edward’s cooking made his mouth water.

“Are you – are you making borscht?” He asked as he made his careful way back to the kitchen. He peered over Edward’s shoulder and observed the pot that was on the stove as well as other odds and ends that were set out.

“Yeah; I made borscht the other day and had some in the freezer. I figured soup would be good if you were feeling a little off. I got some pierogies as well.”

He swallowed thickly in anticipation.

“That sounds amazing, actually; I’ll set the table.”

Étienne could have wept. On top of everything else he had missed from living with Edward, his cooking was way up there. Edward had never called himself a chef and he never made what he considered to be complicated dishes (unless he was set on duplicating some fancy pastry or cake he thought was ridiculously expensive and overpriced), but Étienne had always loved his cooking from the very beginning. Whatever his trick was, Étienne had been sold from day one.

Edward had tried teaching Étienne how to make some dishes over the many years they had lived together, but he’d always been a lost cause. Even the soup had given him trouble and no matter what he did or didn’t do, it never tasted quite as good as Edward’s, even when he had helped him out.

He shook his head, quietly amused by his memory and reached over for the dishes before he slowly made his way towards the table, feeling just a little bit better for the first time that day, the idea of a warm meal made by Edward already warming his insides.

--

PREVIOUS: CXCV CURRENT: CXCVI NEXT: CXCVII

[reapers-fanfic-exclusive-blog]

Why is HE at Angel's? and Where is She?

Warnings: mentions of torture, murder, death, injury, blood, gore, human trafficking, mentions of sexual and physical assault (briefly)

Ennoshita walked back into Angel's Bleeding Hearts, it had been 2 days, and he hadn't received a call letting him know that the floral arrangement was ready yet. To be honest, it kind of worried him, everyone who he had spoken to about the shop had said that she never was late with orders, especially not custom ones like his was, well, unless she was sick or extremely injured. So he decided that even though he didn't want to be one of THOSE  people, he was going to go ask about it and make sure the young lady was alright. He couldn't place his finger on why he cared so much about her, he had just met her, but he felt protective of her already. Maybe he'd see if his boss would put her under the family's protection. Yes, Ennoshita was part of a mafia family, the Karasuno family to be exact. He was the finance guy, and one of the snipers and assassins that were there. Kinoshita, Narita, and him, were jokingly called the forgotten trio, which was good. It meant that no one noticed them, which made jobs easier.  He knew if he were to try to convince his boss about giving the floral shop protection, it would be extremely difficult. The head of the family is extremely cautious about trusting businesses at all. He shook off the thought for now, and walked into the shop, setting his focus on making sure the young owner was okay.

Ennoshita walked up to the counter and gently rang the bell, signaling that someone was out front. He expected the H/c haired young lady to walk out and greet him. What he wasn't expecting though, was the mop of tangerine orange hair that rushed out to the front. "Hinata, what are YOU doing here? Where is Angel? How do you know her?" The older male questioned. The young male glared at him, "why do you care?" He snarled, "come to finish what those three couldn't?" Hinata pointed at the pictures of the three Karasuno members who had injured Y/n, pictures that, were placed under the banned person list for the employees to see. Ennoshita couldn't believe the cold tone Hinata was using with him, normally this kid was as hyper as can be, why was he so hostile now? What happened to make him this way? "Hinata, what happened to Angel? I came here a couple days ago to order an arrangement for my mother, she said she would have it done today. Is she okay?" He questioned quietly, worried now about the young women's wellbeing. Hinata walked to the door, looked around for anyone who could be spying on them, locked the door and motioned for Ennoshita to follow him to the back. Once there, he explained everything that had happened, including how she was with Nekoma currently in a coma. He quickly got the arrangement ready, and before Ennoshita could leave he said one more thing. "Don't tell anyone where I am, I left the house as soon as I heard what happened, and I'm not going back until everything is sorted out properly." Ennoshita nodded his said, letting Hinata know that he wouldn't tell anyone, and walked outside to go deliver the flowers to his mother.

At Nekoma

Lev sat by Y/n's side.  He hadn't moved in the two days she's been there, not to eat not to sleep, nothing could drag him away from her. The others tried, trust me, they tried hard to get Lev to take care of himself, they even called his sister and mother in, nothing worked. It was different this time though, Yaku brought in his breakfast and a change of clean clothing, promising to keep an eye on her and keep her safe if Lev showered and ate. Kuroo and Kenma brought in his lunch and dinner and sat and visited with him. When he asked why they were being so kind, they told him that they had never seen him so worried for someone before, and that they would support and help him out when they could, but that he had to help himself too. They told him that the girl laying on the bed would be upset, no, mad as hell, if she found out he wasn't taking care of himself. He nodded and promised to take better care of himself, while still being there in case Y/n woke up. Her coloring was way better, she didn't look like she was about to die anymore, and her wounds were healing pretty well for how severe they were. That gave Lev some peace of mind, that his half-sister, no, his sister, was going to be okay. They still didn't know when she was going to wake up, but they weren't too worried about it yet. They talked about how to explain things when she woke up, including why she was there. They wrote a note and placed it on the table, in case she woke up when no one was in the room. They also decided that they would accompany her when she confronted Karasuno about the attempt on her life. Like it or not, she was family now, she was family to both the Nekoma and Fukurodani groups, seeing as how the leaders of the groups, Kuroo and Bokuto, were childhood best friends, the two groups got along great. Lev also ended up explaining how Y/n knew Shoyo and his sister. He was just finishing up with that story, when Shoyo called to check in on Y/n's condition, and to let him know about Ennoshita and what he knows about the situation, further confirming that the three who had tried to kill Y/n, were not cleared to do so by the leader of the family, that they had acted independently, which could get them killed by the group. After Kuroo told Hinata that he and his sister were always welcome at Nekoma, Lev hung up and called the Shadow Hounds group line to give them and update as well. After an extremely short conversation with them, he hung up and gently held Y/n's hand. The other two left, and Lev laid his head down on the bed, his hand holding Y/n's, and watched her until he fell asleep. He woke up about 8 hours later, he only woke up because he felt the hand he was holding shift, then squeeze his gently. His head shot up, and he smiled wide as he saw the E/c eyes gazing back at him, slightly confused as to where they were. "Y/n! You're awake! Oh thank god!! You're safe you're at the Nekoma house, some people tried to kill you, but you survived and you're going to be okay." He said, tears in his eyes. The girl nodded her head and whispered that she was glad he was there when she woke up, and that she was going to go back to bed since she was still tired. She then closed her eyes and, with a soft smile, she fell asleep again.

[torontoneckandbackpainclini]

How Does Chiropractic Clinic Toronto Help to Quickly Recover from Sports Injuries 

People who are actively involved with sports know that injury is a common occurrence. Most of these injuries are short and minimal, while some other physical injuries are deeper and they impact the player for a longer time. If ignored, they will impact performance while affecting the injured body part further leading to injury and health problems. In such cases, seeing a chiropractic clinic in Toronto would be a great option to successfully recover from the injury. 

The gravity of an injury varies significantly. They can be from minor sprains or strains that heal quickly to severe physical injuries like a muscle tear or broken bone, which could take weeks or even months to recover. Healing and recovering from any injury require the sportsperson to take time away from their chosen sport so that their body can get enough rest. In such cases, chiropractic treatment is just one technique that can help accelerate a patient's recovery following a sports injury. Here are the benefits of chiropractic care for sports injuries. 

Quicker healing from the injury 

No matter what the gravity of the sports injury is, injured sportspersons want to get quicker healing rather than lying in bed for a long time. The desire to get quick healing from the injury is amplified if the injury is affecting the person’s quality of life. One of the biggest benefits of chiropractic care for sports injuries is that it can help to accelerate the healing process so that you can get back to normal life easily and rapidly. 

Spinal realignment helps all your body systems to work more effectively. It does this by removing irritation or stress on the spinal cord and nerve roots, which are key elements of the central nervous system. When the spine is properly aligned, oxygen and nutrients can reach the damaged area and heal it more quickly. This process also helps reduce inflammation, easing pain and stiffness that may affect your quality of life. 

No need to depend on the pain medications 

People who suffer from an injury certainly experience some discomfort or significant pain. Many people who take painkillers can find that they are getting dependent on the medication, and it may reduce their overall healing and performance. However, chiropractic treatment is available that can naturally reduce the pain. It helps to improve circulation, but chiropractic treatment also triggers the body to release its own pain-relieving chemicals, counteracting both inflammation and discomfort. Many patients who undergo chiropractic treatment for injuries find that they don't need to take pain medications as much or at all. 

Improved range of movement 

Sports personalities who have suffered from an injury find that it directly impacts on the quality of performance because it immediately affects their ability to move freely. It is known that chiropractic treatment helps to reduce inflammation, and it can help to quickly improve the range of motion again so that you can perform your usual day-to-day movement sooner. 

Preventing future injuries 

It is true that sporting injuries are very common, and there are several things that you can do to reduce your physical injury risk. Chiropractic Clinic Toronto has extensive knowledge and experience in dealing with such issues. They know about the neuromusculoskeletal system and will be able to identify the areas of the body that are likely prone to injury. They can also recommend treatment and exercises to strengthen the weaker areas making you less likely to get hurt again. 

These are a few things that help people who enjoy sports to optimize their performance while reducing dependency on traditional medication. Chiropractic care helps athletic individuals and active people to perform well while getting healed quickly from injuries. 

Resource: https://torontoneckandbackpainca.wordpress.com/2023/05/23/how-does-chiropractic-clinic-toronto-help-to-quickly-recover-from-sports-injuries/

[stevenhealit]

which yoga reduce belly fat

To be effective, a workout should make you sweat and increase your heart rate.True hot yoga offers 26 poses in over 100 degrees of radiant heat. You receive a thorough lesson in about 90 minutes. body workout that works everything, from the inside out. And that's way cool.

Here's a complete look at what's going on inside you physically, when you're inside the hot yoga room:

Muscles are toned.

Circulation is increased.

Joint mobility & range of motion are improved.

Increase in tensile by gravity.

Calcium and blood are supplied to the bones.

Your immune system is boosted as lymph is pumped.

Lungs are stretched and flushed.

Internal organs are massaged.

Toxins are squeezed out

Blood, oxygen and nutrients are delivered throughout your body.

How does all of this lead to weight loss?

Warm, toned muscles burn fat more easily, of course. But Hot 26 yoga goes further and engages many of your bodily systems and functions - digestion, respiration, endocrine, lymphatic and elimination systems - in the process of losing weight. A healthy circulatory system exercise was carried and makes it possible for your body to lose weight more successfully. Your appetite may return to normal (and most likely decline... check to see whether you feel like eating after a hot yoga practice in the evening, and if you do, see what food choices appeal to you...how about salads and smoothies? These will sound really good after a class...bacon and potatoes? Not so much) and you will more than likely lose all your cravings for unhealthful foods.

Improved circulation promotes overall cleansing. Your lymph system is pumped, flushed and used more effectively, helping to restore your body's natural cleansing mechanisms. And you aren't just imagining a smoother complexion. After hot yoga class, your skin just glows as those pores open up and are "flushed" clean. That goes for your hair, too.

Fat deposits are also released and sometimes, those fat deposits are even the cause of stiff joints, so be ready for more flexibility as well as better-shaped body parts when those fat deposits are broken up and "burned off." Those hot stretches and compressions push out subcutaneous and lipid fats from tummies, hips, thighs, buttocks....and who needs it there?

Now, muscle can weigh more than fat, but shape up: these are GOOD pounds! You'll look Your clothes will fit better as you get more svelte. Measure your waist, examine your legs, thighs, and calves, and observe how you change class by class. This heat helps contour and create muscles that are sleek and defined, not bulky.

And lastly, hot 26 yoga makes a warrior out of you - and weight loss is just another powerful result in a series of personal victories. With a steady, If you practice hot yoga three times a week, you'll have more mental stamina and willpower to stick with your regimen. resolve to lose weight and keep it off...and perhaps accomplish a host of other goals in your life.

Rhonda Uretzky, E-RYT (Experienced Registered Yoga Teacher of the Yoga Alliance) has been a yoga student since the age of 15, and she has studied a wide range of yoga techniques for more than 35 years. She is a Radiant Certified. Child Yoga Level 2 teacher, and has taught yoga to children as young as age 4, and senior adults 70+ years of age.

Rhonda truly believes that yoga is for everyone, and is especially committed to the She thinks that hot yoga gives the ideal balance of physical and mental health advantages. Currently, Rhonda instructs hot yoga at Riverflow. Yoga, her studio in Lambertville NJ and she is engaged in a 30 Day Hot Yoga Challenge, which you can read about on her website blog.

[rwby-redux]

Back in V2 I was thinking Remnant Cyber Security sucks. They just had a major infiltration of one of their major tech centers (I apologize if I misuse the term) and they don’t think to check it for possible cyber infections? While it’s true they don’t know exactly what happened there you would think given it’s technological importance that it would be a major target for both data theft and cyber infections from the outside. So if someone goes to the trouble of infiltrating DIRECTLY you’d think these would be the first two things they would check.

And I am not really a major computer expert, just someone who knows enough to keep themselves safe online. And when that scene had ME questioning their competence, you know you have problems.

P.S. I am someone who genuinely loves the show, but I am a in spite of the flaws guy. Capable of taking it for what it is, enjoying it, but still capable of calling out the b.s. when I see it. I think that’s why I am glad to have found you. Normally I talk to other people about stuff I like in RWBY, it’s good to occasionally talk about my complaints with it.

P.P.S. On a more positive note, do you want me to link you to a video that notes some of the foreshadowing in the series?

My takeaway was that Remnant’s cybersecurity sucks because the writers had no idea what they were talking about. And I say that as someone who is painfully tech-illiterate.

That’s to say nothing of how woefully inadequate the CCT’s physical defenses are. Like, if the CCTs make long-range communication possible, then why does Weiss need to go there in-person, in order to contact the SDC rep? Couldn’t she have just texted, or skyped, or sent an e-mail from her scroll? Wouldn’t making the CCTs open to the public be a huge security risk?

Out of curiosity, I decided to rewatch the scene where Cinder infiltrated the tower. After a quick headcount, I realized there were only seven people guarding it (1 perimeter guard, 4 first floor guards, and 2 elevator guards). You would think—given how important these towers are for global communication—that the security measures in place would be slightly more aggressive. Like, if even one of these bloody towers falls, the entire internet gets taken out with it. We see political pundits talking all the time about how big of a deal it is when a country’s government deliberately shuts down its citizens’ internet. It foreshadows imminent civil rights breaches and genocide. It’s why activists constantly bring it up.

But we’re talking about a system that doesn’t isolate to one region, or one country. It affects all internet across the globe. Remnant’s communication system is structurally fragile because of its dependency on four separate broadcast towers.

Realistically, the CCTs should be more armed than the fucking Pentagon.

Why aren’t there more security personnel? Or motion sensors? Or external cameras? Why isn’t the central control room like Austin Powers, where it’s behind a tank full of laser sharks?

For that matter, why aren’t there Huntsmen employed to guard the site? As powerful as Cinder is, there’s no way she could dispatch a dozen licensed Huntsmen without alerting someone else, who could then call for backup. Like, that tower is where Ozpin’s office is, and you’re telling me that anyone can waltz in there just by muscling their way through the door?

Also, I’d like to state for the record—Amber’s fucking body is several floors under Cinder’s shoes. As far as we know, the access to the basement is restricted. You’re expecting me to believe that when Cinder boarded the elevator, she didn’t look at the buttons on the control panel, and think, “Huh. That’s weird. One of these floors is marked off-limits. I BETTER BLAST MY WAY DOWN THERE AND SEE WHAT OZPIN DOESN’T WANT PEOPLE TO FIND.”

If it wasn’t for massive contrivance and oversight, Cinder should have found and killed Amber then and there.

There’s no in-lore justification for why [1] the CCTs are accessible to the public, [2] they’re so poorly defended, [3] the security system doesn’t have several redundancies in place that make hacking it slightly more inconvenient.

I get that Watts is a skilled engineer. I get that Cinder is a prodigious saboteur. It still shouldn’t have been that easy.

[adventures-with-ana]

— Breaking the Rules —

Ben Solo/Kylo Ren x Unnamed OFC // 8.637 18+ only, minors dni; brief mentions of violence and child abuse (nothing explicit), unprotected sex, oral (f receiving)

Risking certain death for a simple shower turned out to have some pretty interesting consequences in the end.

One day I was going to get caught. I knew that. I had always known the risks of what I was doing, but I couldn't help myself. After living most of my life without even the pleasures of a full bath how could I have passed up the opportunity to use the nicest shower I'd ever seen in my life? Even if it did belong to the Supreme Leader?

How would he know I used it anyway? I was scheduled to clean his quarters when he wasn't going to be around. Lunch, or meetings, or lunch meetings took him away to the other end of the ship. His quarters unattended and unguarded, for who would be stupid enough to enter them without permission? No one, that's who.

I knew that so long as I still did my job, still cleaned every surface and made the bed, that I should be safe. I cleaned the bedroom first, then the bathroom, and then I rewarded myself with the best shower in the galaxy. I savored the hot water beating down on my skin, the wonderful smell of the soaps and hair products at my disposal - never using too much, only enough to get the job done. The first time I'd ever threw caution to the wind and permitted myself a few minutes under the water was the first time in my life I'd ever felt truly clean, and that feeling was addicting.

Punishments for getting caught ranged from horrible to life ending. The cleaner before me had been thrown out of an airlock for daring to try and steal something, no one ever knew exactly what though. Stories ranged from clothes, to a book, to a piece of jewelry that was tucked away in a drawer. Whatever it was, I was not so stupid as to try and do the same. I would never steal a physical item from anyone on the ship, I didn't have a death wish; I just wanted to be clean.

I knew one day I'd be caught, but the day it happened didn't turn out as I expected.

I had finished cleaning as my normal duties dictated and took one last look out into the room, making sure the outer door was closed before ducking back into the bathroom and stripping out of my uniform and underclothes. Pulling a fresh set from my personal bag, hidden away on the cleaning cart. Just after starting the shower and stepping under the stream of water, I turned to soak my back and suddenly there was a man standing there wearing nothing but a towel around his hips.

My pathetic little life flashed before my eyes in an instant as I waited to be scolded, to be drug from the shower and tossed out into the hall; still naked for the whole ship to see. The man stared back, though with a lot less fear in his eyes and a lot more confusion. Neither of us spoke and I was too stunned to try and claim modesty by moving to cover myself, I couldn't move at all.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked, his deep voice sounding much too pleasant for the current situation.

"S-Showering," I answered honestly, my voice small and brittle.

"Do you know who's shower this is?" he asked. I nodded and his lips quirked up in a smile. "Risking almost certain death for a shower, you're either very brave or very stupid."

My eyebrows knit together in a scowl. "You're one to talk," I shot back, motioning to his own cloth-less state. He looked down and chuckled, as if he'd forgotten that he'd been half naked and prepared to do exactly as I was already doing. "Now you can insult me again if you'd like, but I'm going to finish my shower and neither of us are ever going to speak of this again."

I was surprised at how confident and firm I had sounded. Then I promptly turned back around to continue my shower, after wasting valuable time with this idiot I allowed myself a few seconds to freak out as I lathered a scented soap into my hair. I turned around again to see if he'd gone away, and found him standing right behind me, as if this were a communal shower and he was waiting for his turn under the stream of water.

"What are you doing?" I gasped.

"Showering," he replied, his hazel eyes sparkling in a mischievous sort of way as he put his hands on my upper arms and flipped our positions, so he was under the water and I was standing there with soap dripping into my eye.

I would have been more stunned, but I quickly realized he was a shower hog and I still needed to finish up and get back to my duties. Preferably before someone noticed, complained, or worse: came looking for me. I elbowed him out of my way and finished washing the soap from my hair before washing my body. I tried my very best to ignore the strange man but it was impossible not to notice the way his eyes swept over my body, nor was it possible to keep my eyes from glancing over his.

We didn't speak again until I was already redressed and he was still washing. "Can you hurry up?" I questioned. "I don't know what your job is, but I can't leave this room until that shower is clean. Unless you'd prefer it if I left you to the mercy of Kylo Ren."

He chuckled as if he was unconcerned with the threat of the Supreme Leader. "I'll take my chances," he replied. "Go on, wouldn't want you to get in trouble."

"You're insane," I commented, before following his advice and getting the hell out of there.

If he wanted to be an idiot and stay in there longer than was wise, he could be my guest. I wasn't about to let him get me arrested or killed because he wanted to take his sweet time using in the private quarters of a man who wasn't exactly known for keeping his temper under control. Yet as much as I tried I couldn't get him out of my head. His borderline insult, the confidence in which he entered the shower with me, then there was his body... I didn't know who he was or what his job entailed, but I'd never seen someone so fit before.

My mind was muddled with the thoughts of my strange shower partner for days after that. Wondering who he was, worrying that he might had gotten caught. I didn't even have a name for him to go asking around about him either. So I was stuck not knowing for sure, wondering if he'd made it out of there or if Kylo Ren had discovered him. I tried not to dwell on it, it wasn't as if he were a friend. I tried to figure out why I'd even been thinking about him in the first place, until an image of his naked body flashed in my mind. Yeah, that would do it.

I put the image of his body to the back of my mind, told myself I'd never see it or him again. He had probably been caught, he didn't exactly seem like the most discreet person on the ship and it wouldn't do for me to dwell on someone who was probably dead. I did appreciate that he hadn't informed on me, though. That was honorable and I respected him for it. Not a lot of people would have suffered alone, even if it meant getting someone else killed.

It took two weeks for me to brave taking a shower in those quarters again. I didn't want to risk being caught myself, but business continued as usual. The room was unattended, no one came in, no one even walked by when I was cleaning. It comforted me, and a small part of me wondered if my shower partner had gotten away clean after all (pardon the pun).  Why else would there be no guards? No one to check on the Supreme Leader's quarters?

Another week passed and then I got my final answer. I was about to take a shower again when a voice came from behind me. "Oh good, I didn't miss our shower time."

I screamed a little and whirled around to find my handsome stranger leaning against the open door. He was wearing nothing but a smug smile and I couldn't help the relief that flooded my face at seeing him alive and well again. "Our shower time, eh?" I questioned as he stepped forward. He went to reached for the zipper of my uniform but I grabbed his wrist. "I don't even know your name, what makes you think I'd let you shower with me again?" I questioned.

He crooked a smiled at me. "It's Ben," he replied.

"Nice to officially meet you, Ben." I gave him my name in return before releasing his hand and allowing him to get me out of my uniform before stripping myself of my underclothes.

This shower wasn't quite as awkward as the last. In fact, it was almost intimate. Neither one of us shying away from the other, or trying to pretend they weren't there. We embraced showering together, moving in sync to get everything done quickly. After finishing up I was able to properly wipe down the shower, as my job demanded, and truly leave no trace of either of us behind before getting redressed in my fresh underclothes.

"You've got this down to a science, don't you?" he questioned.

I turned a little pink in embarrassment over being called out on it. "I've, ah, been doing this for awhile now," I confessed.

Ben looked pretty impressed with me over that, commenting that he always knew Storm Troopers were idiots who didn't pay close attention to things. I chuckled and agreed with him on that, it was why they always fought to be stationed on the servicemen decks. They didn't have real jobs when 'guarding' us, instead they did shit like playing card or dice games with some of the workers, betting certain perks that we liked. Better food rations, chances to use the better Troop showers, sometimes even better sleeping quarters.

As we prepared to leave the Supreme Leaders quarters Ben asked me if I'd care to break anymore rules with him and curiosity got the better of me as I asked him what he had in mind. He gave no details, just told me to meet him on observation deck F at midnight. Breaking more rules indeed, no one was allowed outside their quarters after 10. Sneaking out of my quarters would be the easy part, but sneaking up to deck F would be one hell of a mission.

I left my bunk just after eleven, wanting to make sure I had plenty of time to sneak my way past all the Troopers who'd be guarding the halls. I was prepared to duck and scurry my way through small passages, other rooms, perhaps even an air vent or two, yet I didn't really encounter any Troopers after reaching F deck. It was like they'd all been assigned elsewhere, or perhaps thought guarding an observation deck wasn't worth their time. There wasn't much to do except look out of the window and see the vast expanse of space.

Yet I was wrong about that, too, because when I arrived it looked like a feast had been laid out. A red and white checkered blanket had been spread on the floor, an ice box with a dark green bottle in it sitting in one corner, several plates of food and snacks spread out next to it. Sitting on the blanket was Ben, a small bouquet of red flowers in his hand.

"Ben," I said quietly, approaching the set up.

He jumped up, almost in shock. "You came," he blinked several times, checking to make sure I was real.

"I did." I looked over the set up again and when I looked back to Ben, he was holding the flowers out to me. I took them with a smile, smelling their intoxicating aroma. "They're beautiful."

"You're beautiful," came his instant reply, making my cheeks turn almost as red as the flowers. He cleared his throat and tried to move on, his own embarrassment waving like a flag. "I, uh, I hope you like roasted porg sandwiches," he stammered, motioning for me to take a seat on the blanket.

I did, but looked at the sandwich in distress. "Porg? You mean those cute little birds?"

Ben sat next to me and looked panicked at my protest. "Uh, there's - there's fruits and things, too, if you don't want to, you know, eat the....bird."

It was kind of cute to watch him stammer and try to find a way around serving me an adorable bird on a plate. I put a hand on his arm and chuckled a little. "I'm teasing," I assured him. "They are cute, but I've heard they're also delicious."

We sat and enjoyed a lovely midnight meal. The roasted porg was hands down the most delicious thing I'd ever eaten and I wondered aloud if it made me a bad person to want more of it. Then there were the fruits, simple things like pears and apples, and then weirder ones that had strange shapes and colors but tasted incredible. To finish off the meal we had were sweetcakes and a red wine that mixed interestingly on my tongue. It was the best meal I ever had, but it all paled in comparison to Ben.

He was sweet, and funny, and maybe just a little too gullible to all my teasing complaints but it was very endearing. I liked watching him blush as he realized I was joking, or when I complimented him. Like when I told him he had beautiful eyes, the hazel darkening to a rich brown in the dim lights of the observation deck and the stars sparkling outside. I even liked when he made me blush with his own compliments to me, his simple actions like brushing my hair back behind my shoulder, or wiping a crumb from my chin.

I never knew breaking the rules could be even more fun than just enjoying an amazing shower, but Ben showed me there was plenty of fun to be had on the ship. We met up often after that midnight picnic. He showed me a private library underneath the navigation room, showed me maps of all the known worlds, told me where all the best food was served and showed me how to to get to it undetected. In return I showed him how to play cards, the best way to prepare ration bread so it didn't turn out too hard or too soggy, and how to insult someone so politely they mistake it for a compliment.

"I'm using that trick if I ever have to deal with General Hux," he snickered.

I laughed with him. "I've heard stories about that guy," I said making an unpleasant face. "He sounds like a real peach."

"Yeah, a moldy one." Ben scoffed, sending me into another fit of giggles.

I sighed and checked the time. "I gotta get back to work."

The worst part of my day was always leaving Ben to get back to my duties. Regardless of what time we met up, whether it was our mutual showers, more midnight meetings, or whenever he managed to sneak up on me while I was doing actual work in places that weren't the Supreme Leader's quarters. He liked to watch, mostly because he'd tried to help a few times and I had to yell at him because he was a hopeless case who was inevitably going to get me tossed onto the next planet with nothing to my name if he continued.

The days passed by like nothing, blurring into weeks before I noticed. Ben and I grew ever closer, so close that he was the first person I'd ever talked to about what my life was like before I came aboard the ship. It wasn't a pleasant tale, I had come from nothing, I was nothing. My father reminded me of that daily before the First Order invaded our town. To most people it was a curse to have that happen to them but for me it was a blessing. They burned my home to the ground and I watched my father get shot with a blaster gun, but it wasn't the tragedy it should have been.

I was grateful for it. My father was nothing but abusive from the day my mother died when I was only six years old to the second he died in front of me. Once I'd almost starved to death because he refused to feed me, I only survived because a neighbor gave me food and threatened to turn my father in for the abuse and neglect. After that he kept me fed, if only so I could stay alive to clean up the filth that was our house. He hated me and after almost dying at his hand I wasn't ashamed to admit that I wanted him dead. So when the First Order arrived it was like a gift from the gods, an answer to all my nightly prayers.

Even if they'd killed me, too, it would have been better than the life I'd lived. Somehow they didn't though and I was taken aboard the ship, my life forever changed. I was given things my own father had never supplied for me. My own bed, clean clothes, a place to shower, and most importantly: food. Three meals a day and even if it wasn't much more than ration bread and clean water I was grateful for it. I was even grateful to be assigned to the cleaning crew. I had my duties, I had food daily, and a bed that was more than filthy old rags on the hard floor.

That was the first time Ben ever kissed me. I was stunned, staring at him after he pulled away from me and making him stutter and blush through an apology before I grabbed him and kissed him again. He was glad I was still alive, glad he'd gotten the opportunity to meet me and I returned the sentiment. Meeting him was definitely on the list of good things in my life, and right underneath his name was 'kissing Ben'.

Kissing him was definitely one of the better things in my life. I even teased him that it might have almost been better than all our stolen showers, and his next move was to kiss me in the shower. It was cute how he seemed to be in a one sided competition with himself to make sure I had endless good things to add to my list.

The next thing he suggested we attempt to add to the list came when word spread that the Supreme Leader would be taking a brief leave of absence from our cruiser to go perform inspections of another and would be gone for five days. The suggestion he put forward was taking over the bed instead of the shower, and it was comically stupid how nervous that idea made me. I'd taken a shower with Ben before ever knowing his name, showered with him endless times before kissing him, and now I was nervous to have sex with him.

In my own defense I'd never had sex with anyone before, but I'd showered with plenty of other women. Communal showers took away the need to feel shy about that sort of thing. There was nothing that could help me get over the anxiety of having sex except, well, having sex. Then there was the fact that Ben wanted us to have sex in someone else's bed. I wasn't sure if that should be acceptable or not, but he shrugged and said so long as we changed the sheets it shouldn't be a problem. I clung to that because my other options for private meeting places were limited.

I spent the days leading up to Master Ren's departure thinking it over, eyeing that plush looking bed every time I entered the room. Wondering what it would feel like under my body, what my body would feel like under Ben's. They were appealing thoughts, especially since I didn't have to wonder what Ben would look like naked. I knew the answer to that from the first day I met him and now I was thinking of more than his nude form. I was imagining him on top of me, wondering how he'd feel inside me, how his hands would feel on my body, how his body would feel under my fingertips.

Before I'd met Ben I never had a reason, or opportunity, to think about sex. When I was still with my father he'd barely ever let me out of the house, so I didn't know anyone enough to have those feelings towards, then when I came aboard the ship my time had been consumed with enjoying daily food and doing my job so I would be kept around. Now that those flood gates had been broken down it felt like all I could think about was sex with Ben.

When I woke up the morning of the day the Supreme Leader would leave, I was an anxious mess all morning. I was excited and scared, dying to get to the afternoon to finally see Ben but also dreading walking into that room for the same reason. Somehow my brain had convinced me that he was going to look different, be different. Like he was going to walk into the room and be someone else.

I had to step into the bathroom to calm my nerves. The shower was always our safe spot, despite the dangers that accompanied just using it. It felt like nothing to get to me there and my anxieties and worries eased until my brain went to autopilot. I stripped from my clothes like I was preparing for my shower but instead of stepping into the stall I went back to the bedroom, taking a deep breath before crawling into the waiting bed and sighing in satisfaction. It was the softest thing I'd ever felt in my life and I knew immediately it was a smart decision to have never even sat on it before. I would have been caught napping on the job for sure.

I had become so wrapped up in the comfort of the bed I barely registered the near silent noise of the door opening, not looking up until I heard Ben's voice. "Gods you look perfect there," he breathed and I sat straight up to look at him.

The roles were reversed now. Usually he arrived in the bathroom already naked and helped me out of my uniform. Now I was already naked and waiting for him and he was the one still clothed.

"You're far too overdressed," I commented casually, watching his breath hitch in his throat. I crawled to the edge of the expansive bed and curled a finger at him, summoning him forward until his knees his the edge of the mattress. Taking a closer look at him, I recognized the anxiety that had plagued me when I first arrived and I took his face lightly in my hands. "We could just shower instead," I offered, letting him know that we didn't have to take this step yet. We didn't have to be rushed into it just because Kylo Ren was gone. I'd already planed my showers around his whereabouts, we didn't have to plan our sex lives around them too.

Ben took a shallow breath, his hands raising to stroke my cheeks. "That sounds like the waste of a perfectly unoccupied bed," he replied, bringing our lips together for one burning moment before he stepped back and stripped of his clothes.

I'd seen him naked a thousand times before, but I'd never really looked at him before. It was impossible not to see him now. There was no missing his long, toned arms, the muscle definition of his legs, the glorious way his body was sculpted. When he pulled down his underclothes I stopped myself from looking away from his member, normally I tried to keep some level of aloofness about his body. I'd never intended for this to happen between us so I'd never allowed myself to consider him before, but now I knew he was going to be inside me and I wanted to see what I was getting myself into.

He watched me looking over his body, allowing me my moment before he chuckled. "You're looking at me the same way you look at a roasted porg sandwich," he pointed out.

I giggled a little. "I guess it's just the expression I make when I want something."

Before I could blink he was on me. Pushing me back to the head of the bed, laying me out on Kylo Ren's best pillows before his mouth was all over me. My lips, my neck, my breasts. I didn't know a person could feel such pleasure and we'd only just begun. By the time he was done I was already a panting mess, my nipples were hard after the assault from his lips, my neck had to have been bruised from the amount of times he'd sucked on spots that made me moan, and now his lips were wandering lower and lower on my body.

I stuttered out a gasp as his lips touched just above where I was suddenly craving him most. His eyes met mine and after a brief moment of shock and a jolt of fear for the unknown, I took a small breath and just nodded at him. Granting my permission for him to continue to whatever he was going to do. His eyes never left mine as he kissed the spot again, moving lower until his tongue darted out to lick right over my center, making me keen softly.

"Did you like that?" he asked, his voice deeper than I'd ever heard it before.

"Yes," I gasped. "Gods yes, do it again."

His lips quirked into a smirk before he listened. Licking right up my center again before fully pressing his face into me. I'd made out with Ben a lot recently, but I found that I liked his tongue a lot better as it dived between my legs. It felt strange but in the best way possible. He licked me up like I was a melting ice pop on Tatooine, his tongue feeling like heaven when he laved over that beautiful bundle of nerves that made my legs shake.

"Ben!" I called, clutching the sheets at my sides for fear I'd have pulled out fistfuls of his hair.

His tongue didn't cease until it felt like I was going to explode from the inside out, and when I finally did it felt incredible. I could feel myself loosing control of my muscles, but I didn't want it to stop. They tensed, my body feeling like I'd been electrocuted before the release flooded my system and made me feel like I'd found the meaning of bliss.

As I was panting and gasping for breath, Ben kissed back up my body. "You have the sweetest taste," he told me, kissing my neck before I pulled his face back to mine and kissed his lips. He readjusted himself and I felt his hard length press into my thigh, making me moan. "Is this what you want?" he asks, one arm holding himself up over me while his other hand moves to tease himself against my center.

"Yes, yes," I babbled out. "Please Ben," I nearly whispered. "I want to feel you."

I'd learned one crucial thing about Ben during the time I'd known him, and that was that he absolutely loved giving in to whatever I wanted. When I said I wished I could sneak into the cockpit just to look out at the stars as we traveled, he spent two weeks coming up with a plan for us to do just that. When I told him I wanted to see a TIE fighter up close, he brought me to where they were stored and even helped me climb inside one so I could 'get the full experience'. So now, when I wanted nothing more than to have him inside me in the most intimate of ways, he complied without complaint.

I was scared, but he eased me into it. Telling me that he would be gentle and slow, he didn't want to hurt me or cause me pain. Which was obviously a lie because there was a brief moment of pain as he pushed himself into my body for the first time, but it was a beautiful pain and I immediately craved more.

"Ben!" I gasped as he moved within me, drawing his hips back just to push them forward again. The feel of him stretching out my insides was amazing, the pressure from his body over mine indescribable.

He moaned and it was the most gorgeous sound I'd ever heard from him. "You feel amazing," he told me with another thrust.

Sex was sexy. That feels like an obvious sort of statement to make, but I'd never known just how true it was until I'd experienced it myself. I also learned that sex was weird, and your bodies made all kinds of stupid noises when you were having it. The sounds of skin sliding on skin, the sound of my own wetness as he pushed inside me, the strange little moans and groans we both made. When the strange noises first started I was embarrassed, until Ben reassured me that it was okay and then started to do things to purposefully make out bodies make weird noises.

"Oh my god, stop that!" I giggled, as Ben's lips were on my neck sucking at my skin with obscene exaggeration.

"Stop this?" He asked, stilling his hips and making me whine in protest. "No?" he questioned innocently before slamming his hips back into me and making me yelp in surprise. "Oh, I think I like that noise," he mused. "Do it again," he said, stealing my line as he kept up the hard pace he'd set with that first thrust.

I was trying to keep quiet, really. I didn't want anyone to be close by and have any excuse to try and check the Supreme Leader's quarters, only to find the door locked and the sounds of a woman clearly enjoying herself behind it. Ben wasn't having any of that, though. He didn't seem to care, almost like he was challenging the Troopers to come find us. He didn't stop until I screamed his name as I felt another explosion hit my gut.

My own release was nothing compared to the way he moaned my name as I felt him twitch inside me, his release filling me up. He barely pulled out of my body before collapsing next to me. I turned enough to face him, reaching a limp hand over to brush my fingers through his hair.

"Ben," I said softly. He looked at me for a moment before smiling and closing his eyes in contentment. "I hope Kylo Ren never comes back," I laughed.

Ben wrapped an arm loosely around my waist. "Agreed," he mumbled.

Trying to convince myself I needed to get back to work was a long an arduous process. Thankfully it was pushed off by Ben saying we needed to shower first, claiming that it would be bad luck to break tradition. Not only that but it was probably better to shower instead of going back to my work covered in sweat and the stickiness between my legs from our mutual releases. I certainly wasn't complaining as Ben's hands happily took over washing me, paying too much attention between my legs again and I didn't leave that shower without another orgasm from him.

Trying to get back to work after that was almost impossible. How was I supposed to focus on cleaning when I felt the ache Ben left behind with almost every move I made? How was I supposed to keep my mind in the present and not relive every beautiful moment we spent ruining the Supreme Leaders bed? It was a cruel punishment I had to suffer with every day while our dear Leader was gone.

I couldn't get enough of Ben. Our shower times used to be the thing I looked forward to most, but I was certain there would be nothing I ever looked forward to more than the next opportunity I got to be in bed with him. Which was solidified in my mind when the day before Kylo Ren was set to return, a Trooper informed me I'd been requested to 'deep clean' his room. When I got there, though, I found Ben laying across the bed wearing nothing but a smile.

"I hope you don't mind," he said as I locked the door behind me. "I may have lied to your commander about the frivolous wants of Master Ren." He grinned as he climbed out of bed to help rid me of my uniform.

"So I don't really have to deep clean the room?" I asked as he pressed a kiss to my stomach.

He shook his head as I watched him pull down my underclothes, kissing up my body and across my neck. "Nope," he answered. "But if you like," he continued, kissing me and pulling me back towards the bed with him. "You can clean up the mess you're gonna make on my cock."

I moaned appreciatively at the implications and fell into bed with him, kissing his lips and running my hands over his body. This time he didn't immediately roll me under him, instead he laid with his back on the bed and pulled me up until I was straddling his face. A shy blush creeping up my cheeks at the new position.

The good thing about being with someone who wasn't as clueless as I was about sex, was that he was constantly showing me new things. New positions, new pleasures, new sounds that he could expertly pull from my lips with the tiniest of movements. It was always amazing and I hoped he never ran out of new things to show me.

Today he showed me what it was like to be the one on top for the majority of the time. It was terrible, my thighs hurt and it did absolutely nothing to stop him from thrusting his hips up to meet me as I bounced over him. I did enjoy looking down on him though, he looked so beautiful propped against the deep red sheets, his hair splayed across the pillow like a halo.

Sitting like this, looking at how good pleasure looked on his features, feeling how amazing it was to have him driving himself into my body, I started to feel more than just pleasure. More than just that heat pooling in my belly that told me I was going to come apart on him. This was more. I felt a warmth spread through my veins, filling my chest until the word came to me. Love. I loved him.

The realization alone made me come. The orgasm unexpected but not jarring. I pressed my hands into his chest as he continued to move my hips against him, riding me through the orgasm. I lent down to kiss his lips, enjoying how his hand came to cup my neck and keep me there.

"You're perfect," he said to me when we pulled our lips apart.

"I love you," I blurted out. My eyes went wide at the realization and I feared that I just ruined this whole afternoon, or worse.

Ben just smiled, running his hand through my hair. "I love you."

I learned soon after our confessions that the past several days of sex were absolutely nothing compared to the actual act of making love. Sex could be rough and dirty, but making love was soft, gentle. It made my heart flutter as much as my body did around him. My next orgasm was even softer than the last, like I could feel it in my heart instead of between my legs. Wetness flooded my body, making the push and pull of him inside me even easier. Turning his gentle pace to a hard fucking in moments.

My legs spread wider under him, and I made the mistake of looking down. Watching him disappear into my body. It was the most erotic sight I'd ever seen, and the slick sound of my body taking him only added to the beauty of it.

"See how well you take me," Ben whispered in my ear as he glanced down to watch as my body easily swallowed his full length again, and again. When he looked back to my face he tenderly kissed my cheek. "You're so beautiful."

Somehow he managed to balance the kind of talk that made my legs quiver so perfectly with the kind of talk that made my heart flutter, it brought on whole new sensations in me. He made me feel incredible, he felt incredible. I made sure to tell him so and the sound he made in response was gorgeous.

"Moan like that again," I told him, giving him a good reason to by reaching for his ass and digging my nails into the supple flesh.

He rewarded me with a moan even better than the first and his thrusts started to get wild. He reached between our bodies to rub my bud, pulling a pathetic whimper from my lips. "You like that?" he asked, pressing into the sensitive bundle even harder so I moaned louder. I clenched around him and he smirked in smug satisfaction before capturing my lips in a deep kiss. "Come on, sweetheart," he coaxed, "make a mess all over me."

I clung to him as one final flick of his thumb sent me over the edge of pleasure. My body clenching around him as I moaned his name. His hips refused to cease after that, he continue to pound into me and you could hear the mess I was making. The sound made him moan in my ear, I felt him twitch deep inside me, hot ropes of his release filling me and adding to the mess. He pumped his hips into me until he gave me every drop of his pleasure.

"Ben," I whimpered.

His lips connecting with my neck and then my lips. It was soft, perfect. My arms wrapping around his neck as he rolled to the side, pulling his now limp member out of my body, but still keeping me close to him.

"I never want to leave this bed," he whispered blissfully, a hand running down my back.

My eyes were closed but I smiled blissfully. "I agree," I replied. "Let's stay here forever."

Forever didn't last very long, but the days following that blissful week with Ben weren't all that bad. It seemed like everyone was in a better mood, I didn't hear the usual amount of complaints about Kylo Ren's temper either. Perhaps his vacation went almost as well as mine did. Unfortunately that bliss couldn't last forever and when that taste of euphoria wore off reality set back in.

Ben was still just as blissed out as I was, though. Every time we met for a shower it started with a kiss and an 'I love you'. Sometimes it included shower sex or, more often than not, sink sex. (What? I was afraid of falling in the shower.) Sometimes it wasn't romantic or sexy at all and it was just a shower. It was normal, it flowed easily, and we had a system to everything we did. Everything was perfect.

Perfect until I'd started to get sick and ended up hugging a toilet several days in a row. I went to see my doctor as soon as day three hit. I was worried I'd caught some weird disease from a new recruit but my doctor told me that was impossible because the last pick up had been over three months ago. I was out of ideas and continued along with the exam. I wasn't even paying attention until the doctor gave a surprised little 'oh!'

"What is it?" I asked, concerned and a little scared. She pointed out what she'd been surprised at and my jaw dropped. "No, no," I said, shaking my head, "I have the, the thing," I said, pointing everywhere that wasn't helpful, "the implant."

The doctor made a face. "They're not always 100% effective."

For the next twenty minutes we discussed what to do now. I was given a time frame of when the final decision had to be made, given all my options, and sent on my merry way. I walked back to my bunk in a daze. What the hell was I going to do?

The bark of a Trooper snapped me out of my head. I was going to do my job, that's what I was going to do. I made my legs move and they shifted into autopilot, taking me where they took me almost every day for several years. I focused on doing my job and doing it well. Everything else could be pushed to the side until later. I would see Ben soon enough anyway, that would help... I hoped. I almost started to worry about that but I forced myself to not. I only thought about the red rag in my hand as I cleaned with it.

When the next room I had to clean was the Supreme Leaders, I started to panic. Each step I took that brought me closer to that finish line terrified the life out of me. Especially when I entered the room to find Kylo Ren himself standing inside. My eyes widened in shock, he was never here at this time and I started to silently pray to anyone listening that Ben would not show up for our usual afternoon shower. I had a reason to be here, it was part of my job, Ben would have a lot of explaining to do and I didn't want to have to witness the aftermath of a man telling Kylo Ren why a simple mechanic was prancing into the Supreme Leader's private quarters.

"Master Ren," I gasped a little as he turned his helmeted head in my direction. "I can come back later," I suggested, starting to back towards the door. Hoping to make my escape and find Ben before I ran the risk of losing him. I didn't know if my heart could have handled that, not now, not so far into our relationship; so far into my feelings.

"Please stay," he replied, making me pause.

I couldn't believe I'd listened. Couldn't believe Kylo Ren, of all people on this ship, asked me to stay; and politely at that. Everything I'd ever heard about him was that he was the commanding sort, he never asked for anything. He told people what he wanted and they did it, simple as that. Yet here he was, standing inside his own bedroom, asking politely for a lowly member of his janitorial staff to stay.

The automated door closed behind me a second later, making me jump a little. "Can I do anything for you, sir?" I asked, trying to cover up my fear and keep my heart rate under control.

With the door closed, that made the risk of Ben showing up even worse; he wouldn't be able to see the danger he was walking into, the danger I was currently facing down. The only thing I could think that would make this situation better if if today was one of those rare, random days when Ben had to skip our showers because of work. I hoped six TIE fighters broke down to keep him busy for a good, long while.

"No," Kylo replied, waving his hand a little. "I've actually wanted to talk to you for awhile now."

Panic. That's the only thing I could register because what in the world would Kylo Ren have to talk to me about if it wasn't to call me out on using his shower and his bed for my own personal amusement? I saw my pathetic little life flash before my eyes in an instant at the idea of having to confess to this infamously angry man that I'd had sex in his bed. I gulped and tried to keep my voice steady as I asked him what he needed to talk about, hoping an praying that I wasn't at risk of being tossed out an airlock.

"I have a confession to make," he began and everything I was fearing for got turned upside down.

I stared at him in confusion, what could he have to confess to a janitor? My brain was scrambled as I tried to think of a single thing that would necessitate this conversation. I'd never even met this man before this moment, and it wasn't like he'd had to apologize for being messy. He was a surprisingly neat man, and in any case he said 'confession' and not 'apology'.

Instead of continuing to talk and explain himself, he reached up to his helmet released it, pulling it off of his head and revealing his face to me for the first time. My eyes widened, my mouth dropped open in shock, and I felt the air get sucked out of my lungs as if I had been thrown out of an airlock. I couldn't breathe, or think. This had to be some kind of a joke, right? A joke that went way farther than using the Supreme Leader's shower or having sex in his bed. I didn't want to believe it was true, yet I also didn't want to believe that he would be stupid enough to wear Kylo Ren's clothes. Nothing was making any sense.

Ben just stared at me. Helmet in hand, a cautious and guilty expression on his face. "Please say something," he pleaded.

"What the fuck?" Was the only thing I could think to breath out. I didn't have any other words, just 'what' on a loop.

Ben's eyebrows knit together. "That's not the reaction I was expecting," he admitted.

"Wh-what should me reaction be?" I questioned in disbelief. "How do I know you're... You're really him?"

He pointed to the dresser behind me. "Check the bottom drawer."

I turned around and did as he suggested. Kneeling down and opening the drawer to find a collection of things that I recognized immediately as bits and pieces of the various dates Ben and I had shared over the course of our relationship. A dried flower and square of cloth from our first picnic, the cover page of the book I said I'd loved in the library, a map of Coruscant that fascinated me because I couldn't believe that the entire planet was a single city.

The more I recognized things, the more I had to accept the truth. This wasn't some terrible joke or a bad prank. Ben was Kylo Ren. There was no other explanation for why all of this stuff was in his room, in a special spot in his dresser. I picked up the dried flower from our first date and proof that it hadn't been hastily transferred in some poorly conceived prank lay in the fact that I had to peel it away from the bottom of the drawer.

I was stunned. Shocked. I couldn't wrap my head around it yet. I'd been duped, lied to, tricked. A hundred different synonyms ran through my head that all lead to one simple fact: I should be angry, I should be pissed beyond belief. Yet I couldn't find it in me to be anything but relieved. There was no risk to myself or Ben for what we'd been doing in this room for months, for what we'd done in that bed.

I took the dried out flower with me as I stood up and turned to face Ben. He hadn't moved but his eyes followed every shift of my body as I walked towards him. "Did you mean it?" I questioned.

"Mean what?" he countered, confusion on his own face.

"Any of it," I clarified, holding the dried flower out to him like an offering. "Did you mean any of it?"

He reached to stroke my cheek softly, the cool glove leaving a trail of heat in it's wake as he said my name softly. "I meant everything."

"Why did you lie?"

"Truthfully," he began. "At first I hadn't planned on it, but when I walked into my own bathroom to find someone else naked in the shower I was a little stunned." He smiled a little and I turned pink. "Then you didn't recognize me and for once I kind of liked not being him." He raised his helmet to explain who he meant by 'him' before tossing it to the bed. "And then I thought about you for weeks after that," he continued, making my heart pound. "I couldn't get you out of my head. Not your face, not your body," My cheeks turned bright red, but it was a relief to know I hadn't been the only one hung up on the random person I'd met in the shower. "and especially not the way you spoke to me. Like you were in charge and not afraid to call me out.

"And when I finally went back, it happened again. We fell into sync so easily, and then you agreed to meet me on F deck, and then you kept agreeing to meet with me. I just fell into being myself, into just being Ben when I was around you. I fell in love with you and thought of a thousand ways to tell you, to show you who I was." He paused and ran a gloved hand through his hair. "I was going to tell you when 'Kylo' was supposed to be gone, but the second I saw you in bed that first day..." He trailed off and I giggled.

He reached out to cup my cheek, stroking his thumb across my cheekbone softly. "Do you hate me?" he asked, and thought his voice was quiet I could hear the fear in it. He was afraid that he'd lost me.

I leaned into his hand, cupping my own around it and closing my eyes for a moment. "No," I said before opening my eyes again. "I'm gonna be mad at you later for lying to me for so long," I warned him. "But I don't hate you. Quite the opposite, actually."

His lips were on mine the next second and I couldn't help but laugh against his lips before kissing him back. I pulled away from him after a moment though, if we were going to be confessing things and telling secrets today I had to get mine out, too.

"But I have something to tell you, too." I said.

He placed his other hand to my other cheek and kissed my forehead. "So long as you're not going to tell me you never want to see me again, I'm all ears." He smiled.

I rested my hands on his wrists and looked up into those beautiful hazel eyes. I pulled his hands from my face and guided them towards my stomach.

"I'm pregnant."

[deanstead]

Hidden Feelings

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Request by @winqhster​: Hii!! I would like to request a Jay imagine where the reader works in the Intelligence Unit and is younger than him. She develops a crush on Jay, but overtime she tries to distance herself from him. She takes a week off from work and doesn't tell anyone. Jay begins to worry, so he goes to her apartment. At her apartment, they end up arguing and she says that he sees her as a child. Can it end with a happy ending with them getting together!!

Warnings: swearing, a little angst, fluff

A/N: This took a little more time than I expected but I enjoyed writing this so I hope you like what I did with it! If you have any thoughts, feedback or even just want to say hi, please (always) feel free to reply or send me an ask, always love hearing from all of you. Also, thank you so much for all the love so far, hope you’ve been enjoying my writing! Jay requests remain open, feel free to send in an ask!

---

You looked up from your desk, your gaze falling onto your partner sitting across from you. Jay had a small frown on his face, like he usually did when he was deep in thought, as he twirled a pen in his right hand.

As if he felt you looking at him, his eyes flicked upwards and he cocked his eyebrows upwards. “Everything ok?”

Slightly embarrassed, you cleared your throat and nodded. “Yeah… just thinking…”

Jay glanced at his watch. “It’s late, we should call it a day.” He leaned over to turn off his computer before looking back up at you. “Molly’s?”

You hesitated. Normally, you would have jumped at the idea - chilling with a beer after a long day was something you couldn’t resist but recently you could feel a magnetic pull towards Jay that you couldn’t explain, which really scared you.

“I think I’ll head home tonight.” You told him.

Jay turned back towards you. “Everything okay?”

You nodded back and smiled. “Just tired.”

A small concerned frown crossed Jay’s face making you look up at him again but it was gone just as quickly, making you think you might have imagined it.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” You called, pulling your jacket around you as you headed out of the district.

---

It was getting harder and harder to do this. It had started off as a warm feeling, you felt like you had earned a big brother in your partner who was always looking out for you, making sure you were okay, both at work and off. Then somehow along the way it had transitioned into a stupid crush, probably from a physical attraction – but who wouldn’t be attracted to Jay Halstead?

And now, you were head over fucking heels in love with him and you had no idea how it had come to this.

It scared you, this sudden intense feeling you had towards him, so much you didn’t know how to be around him anymore. You felt Jay’s eyes on you and you looked up.

“Hey, we’re hitting Molly’s after work. You in?”

You could feel Jay studying you as you struggled to keep your expression in check. “You guys go ahead.” You responded, pushing your chair backwards and heading for the pantry.

Jay frowned but didn’t follow you.

It had been about two weeks since you had started to put some distance between yourself and Jay. You could tell he was confused, at the very least, and it was only a matter of time before he decided to corner you so you really needed some time and space to deal with this, once and for all.

By the time the end of the day came, you were sure this was what you had to do. Glad that everyone else had left, you got up and knocked on Voight’s office door. “Sarge, can I have a word?”

Voight looked up from where he was sitting at his desk, studying your expression before nodding and motioning for you to close the door.

“What’s up?”

You took a deep breath. “I have some unused furlough days. I need a week, if that’s okay?”

Voight didn’t say anything but continued to look at you. “Everything okay?” His eyes flicked up momentarily to look at Jay’s empty desk.

You nodded. “Yeah, I just have some... personal matters I have to take care of.” You paused, trying in vain to read his expression. “If it’s okay with you… I…”

Voight nodded, without waiting for you to finish. “Take the time, do what you have to do.”

You nodded. “Thanks, Sarge.”

----

Jay had turned it over and over a million times in his head over the past two weeks. He was sure you were hiding something from him, he just wasn’t sure what.

You had been different lately – the way you talked or walked, hell you barely even made eye contact with him this last week.

Jay jogged up the stairs to Intelligence, noting with mild concern that you hadn’t come in yet. He glanced at his watch. He was running late so he had expected you to already be seated at your desk, sipping your coffee. Instead, your table was neat, your chair tucked in. You weren’t here yet and that in itself was strange.

He sat at his desk, looking up every time he heard footsteps until Voight stepped out of his office.

“We’re operating a member down, Y/L/N is on furlough, I need everyone’s head on straight.” Voight barked. “Let’s go.”

Jay frowned and jogged towards Voight. “Sarge. Furlough?”

Voight didn’t respond immediately. “You’re riding with me today.”

Jay nodded, getting into the car. “Did she say why?”

Voight looked at Jay, his eyes seeming to pierce right through him. “Personal stuff.”

---

You were on day three of your furlough when your doorbell rang.

You frowned, confused as to who would be here. You weren’t expecting anyone, or anything.

You pulled the door open and froze. “Jay?”

Jay had that look on his face. The one that told you he had probably been brewing all the way here.

“What’s going on?” You asked as he stormed in.

“What’s going on?” He repeated as you scrunched up your eyebrows. “What’s going on is that you disappeared for three days without bothering to tell me anything. That’s what’s going on.” He huffed.

“Hold on, Jay.” You tried to talk but he didn’t let you.

“What’s going on is that I can’t believe you are so irresponsible that you won’t even tell your partner when you’re going to be back.” Jay continued with his tirade but your dismay at him being angry at you switched to a sudden flare in your gut.

“Irresponsible?” You asked, looking directly at him. “I told Voight I needed a week.”

Jay spun back around to look at you. “And you didn’t think you should tell me? You had your damn phone off for three days.”

“And it didn’t occur to you that I needed time? I needed space?” You shot back, getting more furious by the second.

“Time? Space? It takes you five seconds to send me a damn text Y/N! How am I supposed to look out for you if you don’t tell me anything?”

You shook your head. “That’s the problem, Jay. You always treat me like a damn child! I can take care of myself.”

Jay paused for a second, a hurt look briefly crossing his face, so quickly that you almost missed it. “What are you saying? You don’t want me to look out for you?”

You shook your head. “I’m saying, don’t treat me like a damn child. I’m not. I’m not a little girl, and I sure as hell ain’t your little sister.” You snapped.

“I never said you were!”

“Then stop being so nice to me!” You screamed.

Jay lowered his voice now. “So, you want me to ignore you? Be mean to you? Is that it? I don’t get it!”

“That’s not what I’m saying!”

“Then what, Y/N? What is it? You’ve been avoiding me for weeks and then you just disappear? Are you going to leave the unit next?” Jay asked and this time, you heard it, a tone of desperation in his voice.

“I’m not leaving, Jay.” You stressed, bringing your voice down a few notches. “Like I said, I just need some time.”

“Some time for what?” Jay pressed.

“It’s nothing.” You mumbled. “Just drop it.”

“Damn it, Y/N. You ask me not to treat you like a child, but you’re sure as hell behaving like one.” Jay’s voice rose again.

You glared at him. “To get over you, okay? Happy? I just needed some time and space to squash down all my damn feelings for you so I can go back to being your partner or your younger sister or whatever the hell you need me to be so drop it!” You yelled.

Jay’s eyes widened and your heart sank. There, you did it. You let your emotions get the better of you and you let it slip like you always do when you’re mad and now everything was going to be awkward and maybe you would have to transfer out of the unit or change your partner…

“Y/N.” His voice was soft when he spoke this time.

You turned away from Jay. You didn’t want to see that look on his face. The look he had on to reject you or try to let you down easy.

Jay grabbed your wrist and turned you back towards him. “Who the hell said it was okay for you to get over me?”

Without waiting for an answer, Jay pushed his lips onto yours, one of his hands resting on your lower back, pulling you towards him, while his other hand found the back of your neck, gently moving upwards to thread through your hair. Your eyes fluttered shut as he pulled you deeper into the kiss.

You had imagined this so many times, you had wanted this for so long, yet now that it was happening, it was so much more than you had ever dreamed of. The room felt like it was spinning around the both of you as Jay covered your lips with his and you could even taste the remnants of whisky on his lips.

Gently, he pulled away, looking down into your eyes. “I so did not go on furlough for this.” You muttered.

Jay chuckled. “I was just worried about you.”

“Next time just tell me.” You answered, looping your arms around his waist.

Jay rolled his eyes. “You’re one to talk.”

You let out a smile as Jay rested his forehead against yours. “Don’t you ever disappear like that, ever again.” He whispered. 

[stickyy]

I loved what you wrote about student! college! aizawa,if it's not too much trouble,I would like to read a second part but it contains a sub!aizawa,dom!reader,mommy kink and pegging please. I have to take advantage of the fact that you are the first blog with dark content that I see that accepts pegging,an opportunity that I will not miss,but if it gets complicated for you oh you don't like it,you can reject my request.

DISCLAIMER: always ask for consent first!

warnings: DUBCON, sub!aizawa, edging, verbal abuse, bondage, pegging, gn!reader but light mommy kink is used in reference to, praise kink if you squint?, slightly unrealistic depictions of pegging, reader is fed up but that doesnt excuse their actions :P

word count: 3489

notes: sorry for the delay, i hope u like anon! :D there should always be more pegging fic out there

part 1 here

EXAM SEASON

Finals season is quickly approaching, sending the entire campus into a frenzy, students scrambling like displaced ants trying to finish last minute assignments, novel-esque essays, merciful extra credit projects. The workload takes its toll on everyone, even the star students. You found Aizawa in even worse moods more frequently; a schedule consisting of all nighters spent studying old material followed by early classes and a job on the side, he was absolutely exhausted. You sometimes sneak a peek over at him during class to see his head bobbing slightly, bloodshot eyes struggling to stay open as he fights sleep. A small part of you feels bad for him; he’s a diligent student, and you were sympathetic to his exhaustion.

You still hate the asshole, though.

You found yourself snagged in a twisted sort of arrangement with Aizawa after midterms. There was always a half-assed attempt at tutoring you before giving up and cramming his cock down your throat or deep inside your cunt, leaving you sore and dripping with his cum, all the while spewing insults targeted at your intelligence (or lack thereof). In exchange, he’d complete your assignments and allow you to copy his answers on exam days. Ignoring the situation is where you make peace with yourself; you feel used, but you also have no other option if you want to pass this class.

What you hate the most is the way you roll over and take it. You’re more than just a hole to fuck, you know that, but you’re helpless against his searing abuse and venomous scowls. Even when you try to be nice, it only makes him crueler, your soft pleas and offers of peace an invitation to tear you down and make you cry. You want to fight, to claw and tear into him out of spite. You don’t want to feel so weak anymore.

So, you decide to do something about it.

It’s late, campus illuminated by street lamps and headlights of cars passing by as you make your way into the dorms. After your first encounter, Aizawa began inviting you back to his room instead of the library, deciding to “study” in his personal space as opposed to possibly getting caught in the library with his cock down your throat. You didn’t complain, but it’s especially convenient today, with what you have planned. Knocking on the door softly, you worry your bottom lip between your teeth, anxious for what’s to come.

“Open,” he calls out from inside, prompting you to enter. You pass through the messy common room he shares with his roommate and enter his bedroom, opening the door quietly. Aizawa’s room is tidy compared to the outside, bed made, tousled only where he sits with his laptop, typing.

“You’re late,” he squints at you from behind the screen, shutting the device. “Not surprising.”

“Sorry,” you mutter, placing your book bag on the floor and taking out the very heavy law textbook (that you hadn’t bothered to open since midterms). You take your seat next to him and open to the most recent chapter you read over. He’s silent, only speaking to answer your questions as you focus on the text. You can tell he’s sleepy, his responses slurred and delayed, and you glance over to see him dozing off. Late study sessions and Aizawa’s recent exhaustion meant more often than not that he fell asleep before tormenting you. The first time was startling, but you learned that it was a regular occurrence. 

You prefer Aizawa when he’s drowsy. His usually hard features were softened, quiet snores rumbling from his chest. His dark hair messily framing his face as he leans back against the headboard of his bed, arms folded over his chest. He’s good-looking, no doubt. If his personality matched, you could see yourself falling for him.

His eyes open, shooting you a questioning look, and you duck your head back into your textbook, embarrassed at being caught staring.

You keep quiet for another 20 or so minutes, waiting until he’s truthfully asleep and not just resting. You have to be careful not to wake him, as you aren’t keen on being reprimanded for what you're about to do.

Once you’ve deemed it safe, you stealthily open your bag and retrieve the small plastic bag stored inside. With the help of online shopping, you bought some handcuffs, lube, a dildo, and a harness. You aren’t all into pegging, but this was less about the sex and more about proving yourself, forcing him to respect you, in some perverse way. You retrieve the cuffs, gripping them carefully as to not make any sounds. This is the most crucial part; as long as you could get him restrained, you’d could dish out any revenge you desire. You slip off of the bed and tip-toe, almost comically, around the other side of the bed. You test the waters, snapping your fingers near Aizawa. He doesn’t stir, chest rising and falling with his deep breathing.

You steel yourself with a deep breath; this was your chance. You make quick work with the handcuffs, gently yet hastily clicking the metal around one wrist and looping the cuffs through the headboard before securing his other wrist. A grin spreads across your face; you’re thankful he’s such a deep sleeper.

Now that you had him where you wanted him, you were paralyzed by the sheer amount of possibilities. You climb over him apprehensively, hovering over the unconscious man, who only shifts minutely. The peaceful look on his face puts a small pit in your stomach; this was wrong… right? Technically, this was assault. You frown, a small chill running down your spine. Is this what you had become? It was almost enough to convince you to stop, but you force yourself to remember the first time Aizawa had his way with you, the way you choked and gagged and had to hide your face until you could find a bathroom to wipe off the dried cum that adhered to your skin.

This was his fault; he made you like this.

“Fuck it,” you say aloud, bracing yourself before grabbing a handful of his hair and yanking, hard. He awakes with a surprised gasp, wrenching his head away from the assault.

“The fuck?” He bites, eyes drowsily scouring the situation. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Just waking you up,” you smile, releasing your grip. “It’s kind of boring watching you sleep. I thought we were supposed to be studying.”

Aizawa gives you an agitated look, disoriented as he tries to move, only to find his range of motion limited. “You fucking handcuffed me?”

“Yeah, I can’t believe you didn’t wake up,” you chuckle, sliding your hands under his shirt and running your hands over his taut stomach. He keeps his eyes on you with an expectant expression, waiting for an explanation.

“You know, I like you so much more when you're asleep,” you continue, idly tracing patterns on the skin of his abdomen. “No insults, no curses, no glaring. You’re pretty handsome when you’re not being a total douchebag.”

“Let me go,” he ignores you, yanking the handcuffs. “This isn’t funny.”

“I think it’s pretty funny, actually. You’ve spent all semester treating me like shit, and for what? All I’ve done is be nice to you, even after you call me names and abuse me. It hurts my feelings, you know? It’s not like I’m trying to fail this class, I just needed a little extra help, and you take advantage of that every week. So I do think this is pretty fucking hilarious. Maybe you’ll see just how great I feel when you bully me.”

If looks could kill, your heart would have stopped right then and there. Rage burns behind his glare when he meets your eyes, still struggling to break the cuffs. You’d never seen him like this; at his worst, he seems moderately annoyed in your day to day. Despite being an insufferable asshole, he always manages to keep a cool air about him. Never giving anyone much of a reaction, he’s only nasty when he desires. Watching his face take a red tint and his eyes narrow in frustration send waves of satisfaction rippling through your chest. 

“You don’t know what you’re doing,” he grits out, “If you let me go now, I’ll forget all about this. I promise that you don’t want what’s coming for you once I get out of these cuffs.”

He did have a point; you had no idea what you were doing. That wasn’t going to stop you, though.

“Aw, it’s not so fun now, isn’t it?” You coo at him in a demeaning tone, pouting dramatically. Your wandering hands slid to his crotch, where you could feel his length stirring curiously. You bark out a laugh.

Pulling down his sweats and boxers, your mouth waters at his hardening length. Normally, your stomach would drop at the sight in anticipation for physical abuse you were about to receive. But this? This was different; knowing that you’re the one in control is absolutely captivating. You take his cock in your hands, slowly working your hand up and down. He stays silent in defiance, steady in his glare in an attempt to intimidate you. It would work, usually, but with his hands bound there was nothing he could do to you. He’s betrayed by a pleased noise that slips from his throat.

“Don’t tell me you like this? You want to be taken advantage of, is that it?” you taunt, basking in his agitation as you speed your hand up, thumbing the pre gathering on the slit.

“Watch it,” is his only response, voice dangerously low. He keeps quiet, not willing to surrender to the reactions you’re trying to draw from him. It’s a challenge, if anything, and you weren’t going to back down..

He’s fully erect in no time- you’ve spent enough time as his cocksleeve to know exactly what he likes and responds to. His eyes fall shut as you squeeze tighter, hips canting up into your hand, chasing his own release. You keep it up until he gets a little louder, close to release, and you pull your hand away, watching his dick twitch helplessly.

“Fuck- why’d you stop?” he asks groggily, opening his eyes.

“You didn’t think that I was just going to let you cum that easily, did you? I thought you were supposed to be the smart one,” you shuffle off of the bed, smiling over your shoulder as you hook your thumbs in the band of your leggings. You make a show of sliding the material down over your ass, purposefully leaning over and arching your back. You hear a pleased growl from the bed, causing you to giggle as you pull your underwear down as well.

“You could still let me go,” he offers, giving you a once over as you climb back over him, “I could forget about this if you let me fuck you.”

“Nice try, but I’ll be the one doing the fucking tonight,” you grab your bag from the floor, retrieving the lube but leaving the dildo and harness obscured in the bag. You squeeze a generous amount onto your fingers, causing Aizawa to give you a puzzled look.

“You don’t need lube, you’re always so wet for me,” it’s more of a question than an observation, since your previous trysts never included anything but his spit and your own juices. You just give him a smile before nudging his thighs open with your own, trailing your hand slowly beneath his balls, settling in between his ass and your lubed fingers circle the muscle there. The look on his face is priceless, absolutely shocked at the prospect of you inside of him. He thrashes in protest but you’re steadfast, pinning his hips down with your other hand.

“You can’t be serious,” his voice is alarmed, almost erring on the side of anxious, “you’re dumber than I thought if you think you’re just going to get away with any of this shit.”

“And what are you gonna do about it?” you sing-song, using your dry hand to tug playfully on the cuffs, “You’re a little tied up at the moment.”

“I’m going to beat your cunt up when I get out of these,” it’s a threat, and you ignore the way your stomach flutters at the words, eyes trained on his as you push two fingers inside.

He grunts, his face scrunching up, almost cutely, at the burn of the stretch. You expected him to be tight, but given how tense he is, it’s difficult to push all the way inside. You take it slow, savoring the pained expression on his face; it’s a stark contrast to his cocky demeanor when you’re being subjugated to his abuse. His chest is heaving, a lovely red flush spreading across his skin, eyebrows knit tight, lips bitten red- you’re obsessed. You move your fingers in and out slowly, scissoring just gently enough not to seriously hurt him, but enough to watch him writhe. His dick twitches despite (or maybe due to?) the pain, still red and dripping.

“This is priceless,” you laugh, “if you wanted to get fucked so badly, all you had to do was ask, you know? Mommy would’ve taken care of it for you.”

“Mommy?” he scoffs, rolling his eyes, “you’re insane.”

Any further insult is cut off with a sharp gasp, eyes shooting open in shock, and you know you’ve found it.

You stroke his prostate with a heavy hand, grinding your fingers into the spongy spot inside of him as he struggles to breathe, back arching deliciously. You can’t help but smirk; you kind of get it now. If this is how tormenting you makes Aizawa feel, then you understand why he was so cruel.

“Fuck,” he chokes on a whine that sends heat down your spine, . Your wrist is beginning to strain, but you can’t bring yourself to care. It’s cute; he’s writhing, his hips seeking the stimulation he was previously avoiding as he moans openly, loudly. His cock is an angry purple, pre pooling on his stomach from where it’s leaking. He looks like he’s close, eyes beginning to roll back when you pull your fingers out, laughing as you ruin his orgasm for the second time.

“Please,” he’s breathless, a betrayed look on his face as his hips rock on nothing, desperate to cum.

“Begging already? We haven’t even gotten started yet!”

You reach over into the plastic bag, pulling out the dildo and harness. You can clearly see the fear on his face this time as he moves to sit up, the fog of pleasure clearing quickly.

“Wait,” panic sets in his voice yet again. If you were him, you would be scared too; the toy is thicker than the two fingers you used, something you chose purposefully. You stand and slip on the harness, ignoring his attempts to reason with you.

“What’s wrong? I thought I didn’t know what I was doing?” you ask innocently, forcing your hips between his legs and drizzling some lube on the toy, warming it up with your palm.

“That’s the fucking problem, you idiot, you don’t,” he seethes, pulling on the restraints again, “It won’t fit, and you’re not sending me to the hospital.”

“Exactly, I won’t send you to the hospital. Mommy’s gonna take good care of you,” you coo, settling between his legs.

“Just let me go,” it’s the first genuine plea you’ve heard from him, the sincerity pulling your attention to his eyes where you see a look you can’t quite place. He looks… afraid? Remorseful? It’s enough to give you pause, equal parts consideration and schadenfreude. You settle for leaning forward and placing an uncharacteristically saccharine kiss on his forehead, your humanity getting the best of you.

“All you have to do is relax, okay?” you whisper, resting the tip of the toy against his entrance. He shuts his eyes in anticipation, resigned to his fate, and you push in gently, watching his hole swallow the silicone. The way Aizawa contorts, back bowed to scoot away from the pressure of the toy is salacious, drawing a moan from deep within your chest. He can’t get far due to the restraints, and he lets out a soft sob at the stretch of the toy, face scrunched tight. You push slowly until you bottom out, your hips pressed firmly against his, grinding in small circles to alleviate your own ache. He exhales shakily, unaware that he was holding his breath.

“See, it’s not so bad right?” you soothe, rubbing your thumb against his hip soothingly. “You should be grateful; I’m so much nicer than you are.”

“Fuck you,” it comes out weaker than intended, his voice strained as he tries to adjust to the girth of the toy. 

You pull out slowly, experimentally, watching his stomach clench from the sensation of silicone caressing his insides. His dick gives an interested twitch, despite his demeanor, and that’s the invitation you need to start moving. It’s a little awkward at first, but your enthusiasm combined with the size of the toy more than makes up for your inexperience. He’s breathless, still uncomfortable, but you can see his body slowly relax as he tries to make sense of the sensations coursing through his body.

“You like this, don’t you?” you dig, eyes transfixed on his face, “Is that why you're so mean to me? You strut around like an asshole, just to hide the fact that you’re just a little bitch?”

You focus on angling your hips, searching for his prostate again, and when you find it, you commit to fucking him. He’s loud, stray tears sliding down his face as his body struggles to comprehend both the pain of the stretch and pleasure of the abuse.

“Fuck, you’re cute like this,” you sigh, “you’re meant for this, aren’t you? Meant to get your ass bred by your Mommy? You’d be so much more tolerable if you were sweet like this all of the time.”

His dick jerks violently but he shakes his head with a weak ‘no’, too lost in the sensation to retort any further. You’re soaked by now, the pressure of the toy on your end combined with the power trip pushing you to the edge. It takes all of your self-control, but you suddenly stop, unwilling to let yourself finish so quickly; there’s still unfinished business here.

“Tell me I’m pretty,” it comes out before you can even really think about it, but the words hang heavily in the air.

“Huh?”

“You’re never nice to me, so if you want me to even consider letting you cum, you better start kissing up.”

He hesitates, but when you shift slightly and the blunt head of the toy rubs against his prostate, he changes his tune very quickly.

“Fuck- you’re cute, ‘s the reason why I’m mean to you. So cute when you’re about to cry-” you give him a particularly hard slap on his ass and he winces, muttering a quick apology.

“You’re pretty even when I’m not fucking you, too,” is all you get, but it’s the first genuine compliment you’ve gotten out of the asshole since you’ve met him, and your heart soars. He’s awful and mean and evil but the simple statement is enough for you.

“I’ll let you cum if you beg for it,” you grunt, rutting your hips enthusiastically. You’re close, but you refuse to finish first. He’s needy, thanks to being edged twice, and he’s unable to resist your promise.

“Please, fuck, please let me cum,” he whimpers, voice wet and eyes watery.

“Please what?”

“Mommy! Fuck, please mommy, just let me cum, it hurts, fuck, please,” he babbles, and it’s enough for you. You wrap your hand around his cock and stroke it firmly, hips speeding up as you chase your own release. It’s quick- he finishes almost embarrassingly fast, and the whorish wail that rips from his throat sends you right over the edge, your vision blurring at the corners as you stay trained on his face, obscene and submissive.

It’s quiet after you stop, both of you catching your breath. You pull out slowly, watching the way his hole flutters and you giggle, your body and ego fully satiated. You look back to his face; he looks more fucked out than you’ve ever seen him, almost like he’s about to fall back asleep.

“Can we call it a truce?” You break the silence, grinning as he cracks open an eye to give you a scalding look.

“Fuck. You.”

[imaginary-portal]

Neighbors - Part One

Bucky x Fem Reader

Word Count: ~2k

Summary: Y/N works in the Avengers compound with her boyfriend Jonathan. Bucky Barnes lives in the room next door and finds himself falling for Y/N.

Part Two

Masterlist

Enjoy!

_________

"Y/N? Are you with us?" Y/N snapped her head up. She didn't realize she was staring off into space. The recent sleep deprivation has been costly. So costly that occasionally she sleeps with her eyes open. This meeting was important to plan the attack for the next mission. "Yeah. Sorry." She looked around the room, embarrassed. Bucky Barnes shifted in his seat. Y/N sparked his curiosity. He'd noticed her when he first entered the room, but he wasn't sure why she was there. Half of the room was filled with Avengers, the other half was experts and strategists. "Any suggestions?" Tony asked her, testing her attention span. "I'll have to think on it." Y/N said casually. "How about we take a lunch break. Clear our minds. Meet back here in 30 minutes?" Steve suggested. "Sorry, no one told me you're in charge of meetings now." Tony remarked. "Come on Tony. Look around. Everyone's tired. We'll figure it out after." Steve did have a point. Y/N wasn't the only one who looked drained.

During her lunch break, Y/N went back to her room, where she took a quick power nap. Bucky followed behind her, realizing his room was right next to hers. He wanted to know who she was, so he waited in his room until the lunch break was almost over. He left his room the same time as her. "Hey neighbor." Y/N said, looking refreshed. "Hi. I'm Bucky." Y/N shook his non-metal hand. "I know. I'm Y/N, I work in strategy." Bucky nodded, walking along Y/N's side in the hall. "Ah, that's why you were so tired. They overwork you." Y/N nodded. "Precisely. But I've never enjoyed a job as much as this one. I mean come on, I get free meals and lodging. Who'd pass that up?" The two of them laughed as they reentered the meeting room. "Y/N, welcome back. I'm ready to hear your ideas." Tony pressured her immediately.

_________

When the meeting finally ended, everyone left to grab dinner. Y/N sat with one of her colleagues, where they continued the discussion of the meeting. Her wandering glance noticed several times that Bucky was looking at her. He was sitting with the rest of the Avengers, who were talking about getting suit upgrades. Even though he couldn't hear her, he liked the way she talked with people. She seemed very enthusiastic and educated. "Oh, you like smart girl over there?" Natasha said quietly as motioned her head towards Y/N. Bucky shook his head, not realizing how long he'd been watching her. "No, I just didn't know who she was." Natasha smiled. "It's fine Bucky. You see him over there?" She pointed to a security guard in the corner of the room. He looked off into the distance to see the attractive man. Bucky looked back at Natasha, who wiggled her eyebrows. "We all have a normal person that we're interested in." Bucky looked back at Y/N and watched as a man approached her, interrupting her conversation. Y/N looked up at the man with a smile. The man bent down to give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Natasha hissed. "Oh, she's taken. Sorry bud." Bucky looked down at his food, no longer interested in anything beyond his plate.

_________

The next day, the team had a successful mission. It did include some hasty improvising that Tony planned to discuss with Y/N about. He was still wearing his iron suit and had scratches on his face but he wanted to be sure Y/N wrote down his critiques. Y/N walked outside, seeing the Avengers standing in a circle, Steve and Natasha sitting on the ground. A medic cleaned up their wounds as Y/N spoke with Tony. Bucky watched the conversation keenly. Y/N took notes and was very receptive to the critiques. For a moment she seemed to be more patient with Tony than Steve was. That was, until she disagreed with Tony on something. Tony claimed that a mistake was due to her strategy but she believed it had to do with his suit. "Let's test it right now. Stand up there, fly down and blast that trash can." Y/N was confident. Tony did as she said, proving her to be right. "I'll let you get away with that for now." Was all Tony said before walking inside. Y/N scribbled something down in her notebook, smiling to herself. When she looked up, she caught eyes with Bucky, maintaining her smile before walking inside.

_________

The team split up for the next mission. Each strategist was assigned an Avenger to tackle individual weaknesses. Since Y/N showed up pretty well to Tony, she got promoted to Chief Strategist. Therefore, she was given the hardest team member to work with: Bucky. Bucky was only hard to work with because he doesn't engage with people often. He likes to have a plan and the less that plan involves other people the better. What Y/N would find, however, is that Bucky is easy to work with, so she didn't exactly understand what people meant by that.

Y/N entered the meeting room with a computer and notepad. Bucky sat at the table, relieved to see Y/N as his strategist. Y/N sat across from him and logged onto her laptop. "So, what do you feel is your biggest weakness on missions?" She stood up to plug her laptop into the projector. Bucky watched her as he tried to think of his answer. "I guess it would be that I can't fly so I'm always stuck on the ground. I rarely have a height leverage." Y/N nodded, sitting back down. "What if I told you that doesn't really put you at a disadvantage?" Bucky furrowed his eyebrows, confused. "I mean, if flying was the main priority for a mission, only half of the team would be going. After looking at some of Tony's footage, it looks to me that your main weakness is your range." Y/N played a clip on the projector that showed Bucky falling because he couldn't reach behind him. "That metal arm isn't so flexible, yeah?" Bucky sat, astonished. "Yeah, you know what, you're right. I never realized that before." Y/N nodded, typing something on her computer. "So I scheduled you some training sessions this week. They're gonna teach you some new combat moves and flexibility, so it shouldn't be as much of a problem anymore." Bucky nodded, content with the plan.

"Wow. That was easy." Y/N said. "They told me you were the hardest to work with but if I was with Tony I'd be in a meeting for hours." They both laughed as Y/N shut her laptop. "So how's the compound life treating you?" Y/N switched topics. Bucky shrugged. "I mean I can't complain. I've spent a lot of time living in torture chambers." Y/N nodded, understanding the seriousness of the conversation. "I read that in your file. Are you getting any help for dealing with that stuff? You know, mental health is just as important as your physical health." Bucky shrugged again, not really answering her question. "Well there's a lot of resources here so use whatever you need. Not to sound corny, but I'm also available if you ever need someone to talk to. You know where my room is. My door is always open, unless my boyfriend is sleeping, in which case I advise you not to come to our door." Y/N laughed, realizing the ramble she went on. “Wanna grab lunch? I’m starving.” Bucky took up her offer, walking by her side in the halls. Along the way, he got a whiff of her perfume, which was a pleasant and enticing scent.

“Are you single? I can hook you up with my friend Clara. She’s the sweetest person you’ll ever meet.” Bucky shrugged, taking a bite of his sandwich. “Thank you but I’m not interested in a relationship right now.” Bucky lied. To tell the truth he was lonely. To tell another truth he was interested in Y/N. “Understandable.” Y/N said as Bucky swallowed his food. “So what’s your boyfriend like?” Y/N bit her lip as she thought of the perfect way to describe him. “Jonathan works over in aircraft. He’s very logical, focused. He has big plans here.” Bucky raised his eyebrows. “What about you? Do you have plans here?” Y/N nodded, poking around at her side salad. “I do, but they’re not as ambitious as his, you know? I’m already Chief of Strategy so I’m not sure how much further I can go.” Bucky shook his head. “Don’t limit yourself. I can tell you got potential.” Y/N smiled at his compliment. “Thanks Bucky, you’re a nice guy. What about you? Do plan to stay here, work government contracts?” Bucky nodded. “For now. But I guess wherever Steve goes I’ll go.” Y/N awed. “That’s sweet. I love a good friendship.” They both sat in an awkward silence as they thought of something to say. “What do you do for fun?” Bucky scrunched his eyebrows. “I don’t do anything.” Y/N rolled her eyes. “Come on. You gotta do something. You like music? Movies?” Bucky shrugged. “40s music is nice.” Y/N's eyes beamed. "Oh you must know Frank Sinatra, yeah?" Bucky nodded. "Yeah he's all right." Y/N took a large bite of food. "Classic." she said with a mouthful.

"Well, well, well, if it ain't two troublemakers." A man approached the table from behind Y/N. "Jonathan!" Y/N said, excited. She pulled out the chair next to her and the man took a seat, plopping his food on the table. "As you may know, this is Bucky." Y/N tried introducing the two, and Bucky corrected her by saying "James" as he shook Jonathan's hand. Y/N's eyebrow wrinkled. "You do nice work out there, kicking ass." Jonathan complimented as he began eating. Bucky nodded and looked down at his food, no longer interested in conversation. "How's aircraft today?" Y/N asked Jonathan. "Stupid, as usual." Y/N playfully rolled her eyes, but Bucky took him seriously. "What's stupid about it?" Jonathan swallowed and wiped a crumb out of the corner of his mouth with a napkin. "Everyone is so caught up in team work when sometimes things could be faster if we just worked alone." Y/N chuckled to herself. "Easy for you to say when you know everything that goes on there. Not everyone is as advanced as you." Bucky held back an eye roll, growing a distaste for the way Y/N was feeding the man's ego. Jonathan caught onto this, sensing a feeling of disapproval from Bucky. "You'll see. Things will be better once I'm promoted to supervisor." No one replied, instead eating more food.

"So how did you two meet? Is Bucky not logical enough or something?" Jonathan tried cracking a joke. "No, we just split up into groups so everyone needed help." Y/N rebutted. Jonathan shook his head. "They just say that to make the weaker ones feel better. The airborne Avengers: Iron Man, Vision, Falcon, their combat is much more calculated, less error." Y/N smacked Jonathan's shoulder. Bucky expressed an eye roll this time. He didn't know why he was still sitting with this obnoxious couple. "Be nice. And that's not true. Remember when I told you I proved Tony wrong about his suit versus my strategy?" Jonathan shook his head, a confused look on his face. "Well anyways, that's how I got promoted. I'm at a higher rank than you now." She stuck her tongue out a Jonathan, who gave her a kiss on the lips, smirking at Bucky as he pulled away. Y/N regained composure, wiping a hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry Bucky. I promise he's nice when he opens up to you." She looked at her watch. "Shit. I have a meeting in five minutes. I'll see you guys later." Y/N quickly grabbed her bag, gave Jonathan a kiss on the cheek, and promptly left. The two men sat in an awkward silence. Jonathan swallowed the last bite of his food, glaring at Bucky.

"You don't go taking my girl, got it?" Asshole. Bucky nodded affirmatively, picking up his trash and leaving the table. ——————

Copyright © 2021 imaginary-portal. All rights reserved

[junicai]

where are we?

| order no. | 9/21

| summary | When ‘exploring’ turns into ‘being horribly lost’, there’s nothing more comforting than Baekhyun’s steady presence. Well, after he’d finished yelling.

| part one | i search the universe.

| word count | 1.3k

| warnings | none

| era | circa. January 2020

Reluctantly, a phone was handed to her, and Aria wasted no time in inputting Baekhyun’s number. It rang once, before being picked up.

“Oppa?” 

“Aria! Oh thank god, one second.” Came Baekhyun’s response. Aria heard the phone being pulled away from his ear.

“Guys! I have them on the phone!” Baekhyun’s voice was quieter now that the phone was further away, but it was soon replaced, and then the leader was speaking to Aria in calm tones.

“Are you three safe? If you’re out in the open, go into a store or something - but don’t be standing in the middle of the street in case they come around again.” He began, and Aria motioned to get the two men away from the window. 

“We’re in a small café, oppa. With masks and everything, so I don’t think anyone here has recognized us.” 

Baekhyun’s sigh of relief felt physical, and Aria could feel herself loosen as well. They were safe, he was going to help.

“Okay, that’s good. Can you tell me where you might be? Is there a street name nearby?” 

“One second.” Aria pulled the phone away this time, cupping her hand over the receiver. 

“Oppa!” She whisper-hissed, catching Taemin and Jongin’s attention. “Do you know where we are?” 

Taemin took a glance around the street, shaking his head lightly. “Friars road? That’s the best I’ve got.”

Aria nodded, returning her attention to her phone. “A café called, Demi? I think, on Friars road.” 

“Brilliant, I’ll let hyung know.” Came Baekhyun’s quick response. “You’ve done so well, Aria. I’m proud of you.”

Aria felt her heart seize a little, before melting at the praise. 

It wasn’t long before a non-descript black van was pulling up to the curb; and Aria waved a small goodbye to the elderly lady who was looking increasingly concerned. The trio piled into the van, and the door slid shut as they drove off.

The silence was stifling. 

“Everyone okay?” Their manager asked. 

Jongin swallowed. “Fine. No one got hurt - just a bit shook, is all.” 

“Good. That’s good.” 

A pause. 

“He’s going to kill you both, you know.” This time, the manager’s voice was wry with humor, and Aria knew exactly who he was referring to.

Jongin blanched slightly at the idea of suffering his hyung’s wrath. Normally, he’d be mentally psyching himself up for the inevitable scolding, but the fact that he’d landed their maknae in trouble? 

He’s dead meat. 

Baekhyun swallowed sharply after hanging up the phone. "Manager hyung has them." He informed the three anxiously pacing boys in his hotel room.

Immediately after realizing that something was wrong, he'd called the three remaining NCT members into his room. There hasn't been a lot of information exchanged before the phone line going dead had cut them off; so Baekhyun's first priority was making sure that the three boys were safe.

Taeyong had started biting his nails when they relayed the fact that the trio had been chased by the American equivalent of a sasaeng.

Maybe there were crazy fans all over the world: each with their own name.

Ten just went with 'psychopath'.

These kind of happenings were inevitable in their line of work, unfortunately, but it had been a long time since it got to the point where the idols actually needed to physically run from the fans.

Not since Mark's incident in the airport, Ten mused. Aria had sat on the left side of the boy with Lucas on his right: Aria with her hand clenched firmly around Mark's, and Lucas rubbing soothing circles over his thigh.

It would have been cute, had it not have been so aggravating. The fact that someone felt so entitled to their time, had such little concepts of personal boundaries, the fact that they followed Mark to the airport.

It made them all feel a little sick.

Jongin, Taemin and Aria arrived in a flurry of hands, coats and panic. 

Aria was swooped into Taeyong’s arms almost immediately - barely having time to slip her hands from her sleeves - before Mark and Lucas were sealing them into a kind of four-way-hug that was much more comforting than it looked.

Baekhyun stood to the side, looking over Taemin and Jongin with cautious eyes; scanning them both.

After ascertaining that, yes, they were uninjured, the leader promptly stepped back and levelled Jongin with a look. 

Jongin’s shoulders shrunk slightly, the boy twitching back into his own space while his eyes were unwilling to move away from the floor. 

“That was dangerous.”

“I know.” Jongin spoke quietly. 

“You could have gotten seriously hurt.” 

“I know.”

Baekhyun sighed, biting at his lip. A hand was lifted away from his body, and Jongin was beckoned into his arms. The younger man went willingly, sinking bonelessly into his hyung as the tension that had built rapidly seeped from his stature.

Taemin stood to the side now, awkward for only a moment before Baekhyun was pulling him into the vacant space that Jongin created for him by shuffling over to the side. 

“Group hug!” Lucas cheered, piling into the three older members. 

Ten yanked in Aria, who in turn, pulled in Taeyong and subsequently; Mark. 

Soon, there were eight pairs of limbs in a tangle on the floor - Baekhyun having sunk to the ground after Lucas’ weight had his knees bowing beneath him. The group had crumpled together, limbs slotting together in a knot. Aria could feel the slight tremor that had still yet to leave Mark’s hands, and tucked her head into the crook of his neck.

All eight members sat in silence for a minute, just taking a moment to breath. But the ground was hard and uncomfortable, and eventually Ten piped up in complaint. 

“You know, I don’t think this is good for my spine.” The pointed glance sent Taeyong’s way had a suppressed snort escaping Aria’s tenuous grip.

Ten turned on her at the reaction, grinning like a lion; all sharp teeth. “Oh, you too, Ari, don’t think I didn’t see you holding your back after we got off the plane.” 

Aria had a lapful of Lucas all of a sudden. “Is your back bothering you again? You promised you’d tell us if it did!” 

She glowered at Ten, who snickered in response. 

Aria supposed that this was his way of making sure that she really was alright. A non-verbal check-in was a million times more in character than any kind of vocalized concern. 

So, she caught his eye in-between reassuring Lucas and Mark (who had joined in on his friend’s fretting a second later) that no, she was just stiff, and tried to convey a thank you through her eyes. 

By Ten’s eye roll that was entirely ruined by the soft smile that pulled at the corner of his lips; Aria succeeded. 

Baekhyun lifted his head from where it was resting on Taemin’s back; a hand carding through his hair. “Don’t think you’re off the hook, Jongin.” 

“Hyung!”

“You’re going to turn me grey! I expect financial reimbursement for the fact that I’ll have to re-do my roots when we get back.” 

“Hyung, that’s just because you’re old now.” Jongin turned with a cheeky grin; but it quickly fell. 

“Come here you brat-”