#and so they made their own club where they could support members still trying

[doberbutts]

Oh, to be clear, I am saying that I think breed clubs should be more like the UDC in being dedicated to providing this to their breed, rather than saying "make it work with what we have", and my frustration about people campaigning every weekend and driving long hours but then complaining they can't do the same is *entirely* throwing shade at dobe people. It is very annoying to hear someone whine that they can't possibly make it out to the incredibly accessible (by comparison, to other breeds) options we have and in the next breath talk about how they're going to drive from RI to KS to show at the specialty. Like, you can't drive 2.5 hours to the temperament test literally invented to be easier for your dog to pass and supposed to require 0 training, but you can drive almost 24 for a four day show? Really?

Because I do think at its heart it's a breed club issue. If the breed club is not prioritizing ensuring that ALL factors of a breed are supported, then it will inevidibly leave some behind and you will have the issue you are currently having with your mudi. If there is no herding to be found then how can the breed club better support you? One answer is that the breed club could offer their own herding tests and move them every year to different regions to make sure everyone gets at least one chance to try within a dog's typical lifetime (UDC does this with their national for exactly this reason), or could work with what herding folks do exist locally to make sure it's offered fairly to all herders (gsd clubs often do this because people get weird with shepherds on stock), or could offer money pulled in from club dues to members to support them getting stock in exchange for allowing other members to work their dogs on said stock (the swissy club does this because a lot of people get weird about drovers on stock).

Tldr I feel strongly about this because it is my opinion that the breed club needs to be supporting you in this. You have named the problem, and you are not alone in that frustration. But I also think it becomes a self-defeating cycle- it is difficult in your region to herd with a mudi, so people don't do it, and so because people don't do it, no one offers it, and so because no one offers it, people don't do it, etc. If the club could provide even a smidge more support and make it happen that even just instinct tests are more accessible, more people would do it (as you have just said if the barrier of transport and time cost was removed, you'd be interested), and if more people do it, more people offer it, making it even more accessible than before.

When I first started Creed in Mondio, there were 3 other dobe people in this country loudly participating in the sport, which was also fairly uncommon. Nine years later and the amount of clubs have at least doubled and there's a dobe or two in most. As a result my travel time turned from a 10 hour ride to a 4 hour ride. I used to not even be able to do that, and now I can. I used to not be able to afford it and with my heart problems that long of a drive was incredibly dangerous. My situation has changed, and I have more ability to do this. But then, I was not trying to breed when I had Creed, and thus lies the original point.

A breeding dog from a breed intended to work should be evaluated on its ability to do said work. Otherwise how do you know if the dog you breed to compliments your dog's working temperament? How do you know if your dog is going to pass on "I would rather kill the sheep than herd the sheep" without making sure your dog does not want to savage the sheep? How do you know if your dog is going to pass on "I am terrified of the sheep and will desperstely try to escape the pen" or "I do not care about sheep but I do care about rolling in poop"? Breeding to a stud or bitch that has their HIT doesn't stop making this a gamble- if you don't know the total picture of what you're putting into the pot, you don't know what kind of soup you're gunna pull out either.

But, again, this is why your breed club needs to be doing something about this. This is not "use what you have and don't complain" but "why is your breed club not putting on these tests since the people in your local area refuse to be friendly to novices" and "people who complain about barriers existing that magically don't exist when they're doing something else are being hypocritical (largely dobe people)". As said, instinct tests should not require lessons, should be pass/fail, and should be offered at the *least* at the specialties put on by the breed clubs. Same with novice titles, honestly, but those take training. Breed clubs are supposed to be leading the way in preserving and bettering the breed. So why can't they help their members make sure that's actually happening?

Also, not sure if it's clear, but I'm also not saying that you can't show confo unless you get these instinct tests and novice titles (that *is* how UDC does it, you must pass the temperament test held in the morning of the show before you can do confo in the afternoon, unless you've already passed it at a previous show, but again that's waaaaaaaaaaay more accessible than things are for a lot of breeds right now) but rather that confo is a single piece of the puzzle.

In UDC, you need confo, temperament test, and a novice title to get a CH. You don't need to do it all the same weekend. A friend of mine got two of three required CCs for her CH and her temperament test last weekend. She got her BH last year. She needs one more CC to get her UDC CH and she should get it easily at her next UDC event. The dog is 3 and has been to 2 total UDC events, so not running out of time at all. It is possible to do it this way and not screw everyone over. The breed club just needs to actually support its members.

Dobe friend had a post of basically "share your controversial dog show opinions" and mine were as follows:

Breeds that require crop/dock should allow naturals to show next to them. At this point much of the world has it banned so by refusing to allow European or otherwise dogs to show alongside the Americans, all you do is further split the breed. Manmade decisions regarding ears and tails change nothing about the dogs genetically and thus should not be seen as a fault or DQ.

Breeds intended to do some form of work should have even a minor level of title or temperament test as a requirement for a CH. If your herding dog cannot pass a herding test, it doesn't matter how well it fits standard or moves or has correct angles. If it's really about breed preservation, then we need to address the problem of show dogs that can't work.

There should be written critiques. It is not helpful when the only knowledge you get is that the judge pointed at one dog and not the other. Give competitors more than "I guess the judge liked this dog". What made that dog better than all the rest? Show your work!

[wileys-russo]

could you do smt leah x less x reader golfing trip based of the photo you love of alessia with the tank and clubs? x

sportsmanship II a.russo, l.williamson

"could you at least try a smile baby girl? i'd even accept a fake one." leah chuckled, opening your door for you as you rolled your eyes but plastered a cheesy insincere grin on your face.

"much better." leah winked, stealing a kiss as you pushed yourself up and out of the car, your girlfriend closing the door after you.

"is it not a little bit cliche to tell someone they look prettier when they smile? she's still lovely when she frowns too." the other blonde piped up from the back of the car.

"those words did not leave my mouth alessia don't you dare put them in there!" leah warned as you sent the younger girl an amused smile as she winked, pulling the set of clubs out of the back with a grunt.

"great. we're not even on the course yet and the teaming up has already begun!" leah scoffed with a shake of her head making you chuckle.

"aw is someone mad that her little girlfriend golf day isn't going as she hoped?" you cooed mockingly, the older girl sending you a witheringly dry look as she made her way around the car to collect her own set of clubs.

“watch out. she’s got a whole bag full of weapons to hit you with if you get on her nerves today!” alessia murmured, kissing your cheek and hoisting leah’s spare set of clubs over her shoulder.

“my words normally work just as well too, thank you very much.” leah warned with another glare, flicking the boot of the car closed and locking it behind her, striding on ahead.

you only grinned, following after both of your girlfriends toward the golf club where you busied yourself taking photos of alessia as leah signed the three of you in, the only one between you who was a member.

“babe come on you’ve taken about ten now, that’s enough!” alessia laughed as you posed her again, eyes roaming her exposed shoulders and biceps which didn’t go unnoticed by the amused blonde.

“once the two of you are done with your photoshoot, we have a game to play.” leah raised an eyebrow, tapping her foot impatiently. “correction my love you two have a game to play, i’m merely here as a cheerleader and for moral support!” you winked, snatching a set of keys out of leah’s hand before she could stop you.

“and of course, the driver.” you grinned, twirling the golf cart key around on your finger as leah chuckled. “i really don’t see why-“ your other girlfriend piped up as the three of you made your way over to the cart pick up.

“because less, we love you very much but you’re a…special driver just on a main road. a golf course full of potholes and rocks and paths? not your strong suit.” leah kissed her cheek in apologies as she scoffed, leah loading her clubs into the solo cart she insisted on having despite all three of you being able to easily squeeze into one.

“that is so-“ the younger blonde was cut off again as you stole a kiss. “baby, just get in the cart.” you patted her cheek gently and rounded around to your own side as alessia rolled her eyes and grunted as she lifted and dropped her clubs down in the back.

“my passenger pr-“ you started to tease as she took a seat next to you, leah already driving off impatient to start the round. “unless you’d like me to accidentally hit you with a golf ball today, i’d suggest you not finish that sentence.” alessia warned sternly.

“love you!” you sung out, kissing her cheek a few times as her eyes rolled but you didn’t miss the ever so slight rosy blush which coated her cheeks.

“jesus!” the girl grabbed onto you as you sped off after leah, a wild grin on your face and a wave sent to a few older men who looked on disapprovingly clearly having just finished their own round.

“but i’m the reckless driver?” alessia huffed as you came to an abrupt halt beside leah’s cart. “hey we got here in one piece? the only reason i came was to drive these!” you smiled happily, patting the steering wheel.

“and of course to cheer you both on.” you corrected quickly, adjusting to be in a more comfortable position as alessia slid out of the cart. “mm i think you’d make a cute caddy my girl.” leah smiled flirtily, precious annoyance gone as she sent you a wink and grabbed out a club.

“no that would mean she’d actually have to carry your clubs, her little arms would snap.” alessia smirked as leah directed her to which club to use as you mocked her words and pulled a face.

“you just sit there and look pretty, cheer me on when i win.” alessia grinned, patting your cheek mockingly the same as you had to her just before. “when you win? oh she’s got jokes!” leah clapped sarcastically as the two of them started to bicker as they made their way to the tee.

“ladies ladies you can measure the size of your clubs later. i’d like to get home in time for dinner, which the loser is cooking!” you warned, shooing for them to continue.

“and what will you be doing?” leah queried with a raised eyebrow, leaning against her club as alessia frowned lining herself up to take her first shot, leah having been giving the younger girl lessons for the last few weeks.

“same thing i always do, lookin pretty.” you blew her a kiss with a wink as she chuckled and your other girlfriend grunted making her swing. “yes!” the blonde cheered happily, grinning at you as you clapped her.

“don’t celebrate too early babe, i’m in the mood for…pasta for dinner. but i’ll keep thinking of the details!” leah poked the strikers nose who scowled and slapped her hand away.

“leah. play nice!” you warned the older girl who sent you a charming smile and got herself into position. “darling i’m nothing if not an advocate for good sportsmanship!” the blonde winked before getting herself ready to swing.

“here comes the self pep talk.” alessia mumbled, arm draping itself across your shoulder as you smiled and leaned into her. “come on leah, nice and straight. swing true, swing fast. be the ball, see the ball, hit the ball-“ your girlfriend mocked under her breath as you had to cover your mouth with your hand not to laugh out loud.

“excuse me, have you two dickheads ever heard of course etiquette?” the defender gave you both an annoyed scowl as you hid your face in the girls shoulder to hide your laughter.

“didn’t realise calling your competition a dickhead was course etiquette love?”

~

“ah fuck it!” leah swore, kicking out a lump of grass as you pinched alessia beside you, sending her a warning look as she opened her mouth to likely tease the older girl.

“she’s on the edge less, i wouldn’t.” you murmured with a slight shake of your head. “so when i play a poor hole she’s allowed to tease me? but because she throws a tantrum i can’t give it back to her?” alessia scoffed with raised eyebrows.

“yes, exactly that.” you smiled, foot shooting out to kick her bum as she stood and went to take her own shot. “watch it.” the striker warned pointing at you, though you didn’t miss the hint of a smile on her lips before she turned away.

“baby, it’s just a game.” you started gently as leah took her place by your side, opening your arms for her as the blonde exhaled and slumped into them, leaning over a bit awkwardly given she was just taller.

“a game i have to win.” leah grumbled into your neck as you rubbed her back, sending alessia a thumbs up as she putted her ball into the hole and celebrated quietly.

“she just sunk it, didn’t she?” leah sighed, pushing herself back away from you as you gave her a sympathetic smile. “you’re still up by three?” you reminded, leah nodding with another sigh.

“hey!” you snagged her by the belt loop of her pants as she looked over her shoulder with a confused frown. though it melted into a smile as you tapped your lips expectantly and she surged forward to give you a kiss.

“you should come with me more often, this tennis skirt is brilliant motivation.” the girl mumbled against your lips, hand sliding up your bare thigh as you chuckled and pushed her away.

“down girl!” you teased, nodding for her to take her shot. “yes?” you smiled as alessia now popped up in front of you with a frown, a laugh leaving your lips as she tapped hers expectantly.

indulging her with a kiss you both pulled away at the sound of a smack, leah’s hand colliding with alessia’s ass as she strode past and hopped into her cart.

“what? i told you, i’m all for good sportmanship!”

[entertext]

HGSN 25-1

Chapter (Japanese)

(Please hit the green thumbs up at the end of the chapter to show support)

Rough translation by me

P1

Folktale: The Farmer's Head

A long long time ago, there was a greedy farmer and a kind farmer who went to the mountain to forage for food.

There, the greedy farmer found a big mushroom.

"This one is all mine!" said the greedy farmer.

Trying to hide the mushroom, he poked his head into a hole on the mountain. When all of a sudden...

Pop! His head fell off and into the hole!

Afraid, the kind farmer returned to the village as fast as he could.

When he got there, he found that at some point...

His basket had been filled with a ton of rice and delicious food!

P2

Dad: "That hole had been the mouth of the hungry mountain god."

Dad: "and in thanks for filling its stomach, the god had given the kind farmer a reward. And so the farmer lived happily ever after."

(sfx: close)

(sfx: cicadas)

Yoshiki: What kind of story is that...?

(sfx: cicadas)

Dad: Dad doesn't know either...

P3

(sfx: RAIN)

Dad: ...

Yoshiki: ...

P4

(sfx: RAIN)

Dad: ...How's school lately?

Yoshiki: ...It's fine. Normal.

Dad: I see.

Dad: Is there...something you're worried about or...?

Yoshiki: Actually, I want to ask about Hikaru's dad.

Dad: About what...?

Yoshiki: What did the Indou family do in the past?

Yoshiki: What's their "sin"?...

P5

Dad: Who did you hear that from?

Yoshiki: I found out on my own...

Yoshiki: It's something I need to know right now

(sfx: RAIN)

Dad: Why?

Yoshiki: ...

Dad: ...

Dad: ...Kouhei and I, we had talked about it and agreed

Dad: that we didn't want to burden our sons with that though...

P6

Dad: The men of the Indou family go to the mountain once every 5 years or so

Dad: To apologize...and to ask the god not to come down the mountain

(sfx: RAIN)

Yoshiki: Because the Indou family did something during the mass deaths in the past...?

Dad: ....Once, I asked Kouhei what the Indou family had done.

--

TV: {...after the bubble burst...clubs in Ginza...}

Kouhei: The reason the Indou family is hated is 'cause...

P7

Kouhei: The young head of the Indou family at the time had a wife, who fell sick during an epidemic and was made into a "head"

Kouhei: So he went to the mountain and offered up her head

Dad: Uh-huh...

Kouhei: And what do you think he asked for?

Kouhei: He said, "Bring my wife back to life!"

Kouhei: "You can have whatever head you want, just not the Indou family!"

Dad: Ah...whoa...that's already kinda...

Kouhei: Haha! And then...

P8

Kouhei: She really did come back to life!!

Dad: Huh? No way

Kouhei: And in exchange...

Kouhei: Within the day, a third of the village had died bizarre deaths

Kouhei: Deaths by hanging, cutting the throats of their family members and then themselves, having their head be trampled by horses, even cases where someone's head disappeared the moment you turned around

Dad: Wh...oa...All "heads"...

Kouhei: Right! And of course, the Indou family had zero deaths

P9

Kouhei: The wife who had come back to life...

Kouhei: Was still a severed head

Kouhei: So she suffered and died that night

Kouhei: Then, the strange deaths stopped as well

Kouhei: Strangely, after that, the harvests got better, and the epidemics became fewer.

Kouhei: Well, I guess my ancestor was also pretty unlucky...Apparently, up until that point, no matter how many heads you offered, nothing in particular would have happened.

P10

Dad: How much of that is true?

Kouhei: Dunno. But the head of that wife is still around.

Kouhei: So guess that's why they make the Indou family go up the mountain.

Dad: Huh!?

Kouhei: She's called "Indou Hichi"-san

Kouhei: Seems like even if you return her to the mountain, she comes back again somehow.

Dad: You're always...

Dad: Don't say stuff like that like it's nothing...You don't think anything of it?

Kouhei: No, it's not like that at all...

Kouhei: It's something I have to bear after all...

Kouhei: And it's something we have to pass down to our kids as well...

P11

Kouhei: Oh right!! That's why I wanna get married to Yuki-nee* quick!

Dad: Yuki-chan again?

Kouhei: In the Indou family, 'cause there was an incident like that, they say "If you have someone precious to you, you'd better get married quick and bring them into the Indou family."

Kouhei: 'Cause if they're a member of the Indou family, then that angry Unuki-sama won't take them away.

Kouhei: I gotta protect Yuki-nee!

Dad: Even though she turned you down 11 times? You creep.

Kouhei: Aw, shut up! Why do you even remember that!?

* -nee - affectionate suffix for an (older) woman

==

Next chapter: 2024/03/12

Twitter Extra (link):

If you had to pick one, Yoshiki resembles his mother more.

Both siblings inherited the tendency for moles from their father.

Comic:

Yoshiki: *sigh*

Dad: Huh!

Search suggestions:

Search bar:

"m"

"moles how to remove"

"moles lots why"

"moles so annoying"

"moles reason increase"

"moles removal DIY"

"moles world record"

Dad: So it bothers you that much...?

==

T/N

In chapter 14, Kouhei calls Yoshiki's dad "Toshi", but I'm not sure if that's his full name or a nickname, so leaving him as "Dad" for now.

The term used for "head" (kubi) can also refer to the neck specifically, so if you're wondering why deaths by hanging and cutting the throat count as "heads" here, that's why.

[imwintr]

cold

pairing | corky x reader

prompt | “it’s a camping trip, and one character’s forgotten their sleeping bag” by scealaiscoite wc 1406.

Deciding to join the vandals on their Dayton run picnic was a last minute decision. Having never spent a substantial amount of time with any of them other than seeing a couple of them over your neighbor Kathy’s home in passing, it would be fair to say that you were skeptical about attending. Though Kathy’s husband Benny seemed friendly enough, no amount of friendliness would be enough to convince you that hanging out with a motorcycle club that had been recently accused of arson was a good idea. 

The only reason you even initially even considered the idea was because although you and Kathy had been neighbors for well over a few years, you hadn’t become friends until recently when she stopped by asking to borrow some sugar. She confided in you about Benny’s injuries and the whole Lakeside ordeal, so you decided to attend on behalf of her “moral support”. It wasn’t like you had much of anything else to do in the coming days regardless, having already taken several days off from work. 

Since you weren’t staying for the entire duration of the run–and obviously didn’t own a motorcycle–you settled on staying for two nights before heading back on the road. Already not being the biggest fan of camping in general, you attempted to shove down the ensuing dread that was bubbling in your stomach to no avail. That feeling only intensified when you actually arrived on the grounds and saw the copious amount of people that were already there. 

Thankfully, it didn’t take you long to locate Kathy, who quickly introduced you to some of the other wives and girlfriends who had rode in with their partners. She furthermore introduced you to the Vandals’ leader and founder Johnny Davis, who you were initially wary of because of what you learned beforehand, but meeting Betty made you believe he still had to have some decency left under all of that bravado. Afterwards, you started getting approached by some of the members themselves despite Kathy’s attempt to swat the majority of them away–especially one Vandal in particular.  

This wouldn’t actually be your first time meeting Corky, though all of your other interactions were in passing with only a few words spoken. He asked you to remind him of your name before taking a seat next to you, causing Kathy to roll her eyes before resuming her conversation with Gail. Knowing that a good bulk of the guys in the club were bums who had no foreseeable future other than risking their lives riding motorbikes, you could understand why she was trying to steer you away from getting involved with any of them (not to mention the present circumstances she was dealing with in her own marriage). 

“Enjoying yourself?” he questioned, pushing his sunglasses further up the bridge of his nose from where they had begun to slide down. You had to admit it, you found him pretty attractive, although you would never admit that out loud, nor would you willingly allow yourself to develop any feelings for him. He was probably just humoring you or trying to be cordial since it was technically your first time at one of their events. Little did you know that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

“I guess so, is this what you guys call fun?” you attempted to joke, which he thankfully seemed to pick on and gave you a laugh in return. Someone else decided to sit down on the other end of the bench, causing him to scooch over to where your legs and arms were brushing up against each other. Surprising yourself, you didn’t immediately move away from the contact. That awful feeling of dread you initially held when you arrived was long gone, replaced with an odd giddiness that made it difficult to keep a smile off of your face or keep yourself from laughing at each dumb joke he made. 

Never having been the type to hastily fall in love or believe in something as ludicrous as love at first sight, this was entirely foreign to you–and made your current behavior borderline unrecognizable to anyone that knew you beforehand. It wasn’t like you were constantly irritable or anything of that nature, but it wasn’t uncommon to see you donning an unamused expression when someone attempted a romantic advance. If someone were to tell you a week ago that you would be practically cuddled up next to a member of the Vandals a week later, you would have asked if they were feeling alright. As the day went on, you spent the rest of your time witnessing some of the club members’ absurd antics and listening to the girls conversate about what was going on in their relationships. 

By nightfall, groups had begun to break out and settle around individual campfires before turning in to go to bed. It was only then when you noticed how cold it had gotten with the sun having gone down, leading you to venture out to your car to retrieve a blanket. Noticing your return, Corky gave you a teasing smile before he asked “Still enjoying yourself?”. Rolling your eyes, you took the seat he had saved you between Wahoo and himself, and nodded before pulling the blanket tighter around your shoulders. “Are you cold?” He questioned, his smile fading and his eyebrows raising in concern. 

“A little bit.” you admitted sheepishly, suddenly feeling foolish for not packing better and being more prepared for the weather. “But I’ll be alright–” you were cut off mid sentence when you felt him gently grab your elbow so your arms and legs were touching just like before. 

“Better?” 

“I guess.” responding with a shrug, you giggled when he rolled his eyes in response, mirroring your actions from earlier. Around a couple of hours later, you guess he had gotten tired because he eventually decided to lay down on the log and propped up his leg behind you. You did your best to ignore Kathy’s playfully judgemental stare but it was kind of challenging when you were practically sitting in between Corky’s legs (which are quite long by the way). 

By the time everyone had decided that they were turning in for bed, you had really begun regretting your decision to just sleep in your car instead of bringing sleeping bags like everyone else and sleeping closer to the campfire. You weren’t looking forward to the cold leather in the backseat of your car, especially after sitting next to a human body heater and a campfire for several hours. Once you bid Kathy goodnight, you began walking out past everyone rolling out their sleeping bags to your car that was about 30 feet away. Hearing someone softly call out your name, you whipped your head around to see a familiar face removing his sleeping bag from his bike. 

“Where you going?”

“I didn’t bring a sleeping bag so I’m just gonna sleep in my car.” Saying that out loud caused you to cringe internally. Why didn’t you just bring a sleeping bag to a camping trip? 

“You’re gonna freeze, just take mine.”

“Oh no, I couldn’t.” Apparently your back and forth was getting bothersome because someone from a nearby sleeping bag hissed for you to quiet down and go to sleep. 

“We can just share it.” He suggested before picking a spot to roll it out for the night. Despite not wanting to cause anymore of a commotion than you already had, you were still milling over whether or not to just share the sleeping bag with him or just head back to your car–but you made the decision to stay. If it was anyone else you would have been overwhelmed and anxious–but to your own bewilderment the man who was beckoning you to lay down next to him, whose legs were comically too long for the sleeping bag he owned–did no such thing. 

Squeezing in next to him you were immediately met with an arm snaking its way around your shoulder to pull you closer to him. Rolling onto his back he left the arm around your shoulder and placed the other one behind his head, leaving you enough room to rest your head on his chest. There was no nagging feeling deep inside telling you to get up and run away, instead–you felt oddly at peace. 

Maybe hanging out with the Vandals for a few days wouldn’t be so bad.

[coleskingdom]

Mine

Jay White x Reader

AU readers dad works for a promotion who wants to work with NJPW, and is asking his daughter to marry David Finlay. Bullet Club holds power however a last minute decision is made.

Warnings: Runaway Bride, panic attack, oral sex (fm receiving), p in v, male and female orgasms

Mentions of Adam Page, Matt Jackson and Adam Cole

Genre Smut

Standing in the dressing room of the church I wondered how could I go through with this. I knew that even though my father told me what I was doing was best for business, I cringed at the thought of walking down the aisle and seeing David Finlay at the altar backed by his band of strippers and thugs. His groomsmen were so gross that I couldn’t even have bridesmaids, instead I chose my four best male friends, and a calculated move against my future husband. A knock at the door and Matt stuck his head in “it’s time” he said looking like he was leading me to my own execution. I nodded and asked for another minute. I took a few more calming breaths but each breath seemed to get caught in my throat. My hands shaking, the next knock at the door was from the Adam’s, “ they’re getting impatient, do you want to call it off” Cole asked, Page pulled a flask from his jacket screwed off the cap handing it to me and I took a long pull off “ hey hey, save some for those of us who have to witness this” he teased trying to make me laugh. “ Where’s Jay?” I asked hesitantly “ He’s here but he said he can’t see you , he feels like he’s somehow responsible for this mess.” I blinked back tears, Page wiped my cheeks and kissed my forehead, “you have to make a decision. Whatever you decide we will support you ”. he said quietly “ I can’t let my father down, he’s counting on being able to work with Finlay and NJPW. Let’s go, before I run. “ I said reluctantly walking out of the room.The last word rattled in my brain , I could run, I could choose myself for once. I shook my head to refocus on what had to be done.

I heard the music as my bridesmen walked down the aisle an audible gasp at the realization of who I had chosen Matt Jackson, Adam Page, Adam Cole and Jay White all former members of the club and the current leader of Bullet Club Gold all work for the company that infuriates my father. I smiled my father couldn’t control everything. I walked with my chin up, David’s eyes full of rage, and his jaw set as he saw me walking towards him. I handed my bouquet to Matt, who took it reluctantly and tried to reassure me by rubbing the top of my hand . I heard David say I do, the priest then asked me and suddenly I couldn’t breathe. My brain screamed run that if I could just get out of here I could just breathe. “I can’t” I said and I turned and ran up the aisle I made it all the way outside . A black challenger, pulled up in front of me, the window rolled down and there was Jay “Get In” he said I opened the door and got in the gravel was flying before I could get the door closed.

How did you know? I asked still trying to quell the panic attack as the reality of what I had done set in. “ Breath, one two three four exhale” he said “ How did I know? It’s all my fault, when I lost to Eddie. I knew it was only a matter of time before your father and David would agree to this. I saw the sadness in your eyes and hoped you would make this choice. ” I took in his words I never realized he paid attention, when I asked him to stand at my sham of a wedding he agreed quicker than the other three. He declined being my man of honor, but that he’d stand for me.

“ Where are we going? I can’t go to the hotel, or home they’ll find me there. I know I ruined everything Jay” and began to cry again. “ I’ve got you.” as he turned down a dirt road leading through trees into a clearing into that sat a little cabin with a porch. “Whose place is this?” “It’s mine,it’s my getaway it’s my grounding point. Come on let’s get it in it’s starting to rain.” I got out and ran to the porch, laughing at the irony of it all. “Rain on your wedding day is supposed to be good luck.” The laughing turning into sobs, Jay unlocked the door and guided me inside.

“ I’ve got to get out of this dress, it’s suffocating me. Jay help.” With that he was on me he went to the back of the dress to try and undo the buttons. “They’re not unfastening, what did you do to this dress”. “Jay cut me out of it, please” “ My pleasure, sweet girl” with that he stood in front of me the switchblade in his hand as he cut the bodice of my dress and peeled it off of me he went to the back and loosened the corset straps. My breathing returned to normal, but my skin felt like it was on fire.

Jay’s breath on the back of my neck, his light touch in reassuring circles as he was trying to calm me. “ You’re a clever girl, wrapping yourself up in multiple layers knowing that David would be too drunk to figure this out. He never deserved you, he wouldn’t know what to do with this pretty little package so nicely wrapped in silk and lace.The question is how many layers are there. I however am a patient man who’s waited years hoping one day that you might see me the way I’ve always seen you” his words registering in my brain, I had been with Jay for years I followed him around the world, taking different jobs saying I was trying to learn the business to understand my father better at least that’s what I told myself. Though I found myself in rooms with Jay more often than not, when the other guys left for AEW, I stayed behind with Jay. I couldn’t leave him there alone we had been together so long. For all of his bravado he was a man with many layers. I had found my chosen family in these travels. I always shrugged off the feelings that I’d developed for Jay on and off through the years I thought he thought of me as one of the boys.

“Jay,” I said trying to quell the emotions, “ I shouldn’t have said all that, it’s not fair, you’ve been through enough these past…” I turned and captured his lips in a kiss catching him off guard for half a second, however he quickly took charge of the kiss, he deepened the kiss my tongue relenting as he slowed it down. He broke the kiss, moving along my jaw, down the side of neck. Taking his time like I might break or disappear. I giggled, he stopped kissing me and I giggled even harder. “ I’ve never gotten that reaction from a woman” a little dismayed. I reached for his hand brushing my thumb over his knuckles. “ Jay, I’m sorry, I’m standing here with my wedding dress cut down the middle on the floor in a corset petticoats a garter and heels and you are in a suit , in a romantic cabin, with you and I’ve never been happier in my whole life.“ I said smiling “ My sweet girl, I’m going to make tonight and every night happier than the last.” He turned me around working on the ribbons of the corset again and kissed my spine as he undid them one by one, taking his time never rushing. “You really had a plan didn’t you, but you’re the most beautiful gift I’ve ever unwrapped “ with the corset and petticoats removed I stood there in front of Jay my wedding night lingerie. “ I feel like I’m over dressed"he grinned, inches from me. He began to undress he took off is coat, each move was for my benefit he removed the cufflinks and placed them on the table, unbuttoned the white shirt his abs now on full display, he rolled up his sleeves like a man on a mission.

When our bodies meet it’s like time stands still there is nothing soft in this kiss. He kisses me like he’s trying to conquer me, to prove something to me and himself. His mouth tastes like whiskey, the same whiskey I drank before I walked down the aisle. Suddenly, he’s walking me backwards one hand in my hair the other on my waist, as we enter his bedroom never breaking the kiss. He sets me down on the edge of the bed and drops to his knees before me. My breath hitches. His eyes linger on my breasts for a few moments before he places a kiss on my stomach, then my hip bone, another to bow at the top of my white lace thong.

I shut my eyes in response to the sudden ache inside my chest.His palms land on my ribcage and move skyward until they're wrapped around my breasts. An appreciative breath escapes him.”Fuck, these feel good," he rasps against my skin, his lips still pressing kisses to my abdomen. Warm pleasure slips through my veins at what he's doing to me. How he's touching me. He drops one hand to my thigh, lifts my leg, and slings it over his shoulder. He lifts his gaze to meet mine.”You're not going anywhere unless I let you,my sweet girl.” I moan as his palm runs over my mound, “My girl is already so wet, and I’ve barely even begun “ he rips the fabric of my thong. My body shudders with anticipation, his mouth finds my pussy licking my slit, his tongue darting in out of my core, avoiding my clit, by just blowing softly on it. “Jay, please “ I beg, knowingly he takes his thumb and begins rubbing my clit. My body tenses as I feel my orgasm building, he replaces his mouth with his fingers. The sounds my body is making, as his mouth begins to lick and suck my clit. “Jay I’m going to come,” Not yet , be a good girl, I promise you’re almost there” he added a third finger making me feel impossibly full, stroking deep inside of me. My pussy squeezing his fingers, “okay now, sweet girl” with a final curl of his fingers. The pressure that had built inside me snapped and I came off the mattress as my back arched and my mind went blank and all I could remember was his name. He worked me through my pleasure “ Jay I need you”, my body and mind chasing that release that freedom again.

Jay stands he pulls his arms out of the sleeves, the muscles in his shoulders and chest flexing with the movement.The pants go next, together with the boxers. My gaze dips to his abs, the V-below, then lower. I swallow. Somehow, he looks even bigger than I imagined. He gets on the bed, settles his weight between my legs, wraps one palm around my thigh, hiking it up higher. I run my hands up his muscled chest. He's burning up. So am I.

His cock presses against my center, and he wraps his fist around it, guiding it where it belongs. He pushes into me slowly, stretching me, he fills me all the way and a moan pours out of him. “Fucking perfect, you’re taking me so good, sweet girl.” He kisses me before he pulls back and pushes into me even deeper this time. My other leg comes around to the back of his thigh my heel digging in to encourage him to keep going. “My greedy girl, wants more, tell me what you need .” Faster Jay, please” he speeds up lowering his head to suck on my neck. “ You’re squeezing me so tight, you feel so good, you’re fucking perfect.” He mutters. His words set me off. The pressure begins to build again increasing with every smooth stroke, He changes the angle of his hips and it’s even better and more intense. My eyes roll to the back of my head, as my orgasm takes over. "Mine," he growls as I flutter around him. His body grows taut, every muscle prominent and hard. I scrape my nails down his chest and watch his face morph into a grimace. His cock jerks, and he spills inside of me with a guttural groan. For a while, we stay tangled with each other. I press a kiss to his chest. He brushes his fingers through my hair.

A phone ringing on the night stand breaks the silence. I pout as he pulls out of my body, I wanted to keep us here in this moment for as long as possible. “Sweet girl, if I don’t answer this phone, we are going to have your other 3 bridesmen here, and that would ruin my plans.” he answers the phone. “ Hello, yes I’ve got her. She’s okay.” I begin to press kisses along his chest down his abs his breath hitches “ No, she’s going to stay here. Yes, it’s final” as I kiss lower. His hands playing in my hair. “ Fuck” he hisses “I will deal with Finlay and her father tomorrow, if they ask any further questions tell them she’s mine.” He slammed the phone down.

“No where were we” I said.

[glitches-and-bugs]

The State Of The Community (From an outsider)

Let me preface this by saying that this is all based on information I could gather on my own from the Discord and the various blogs involved. I will do my best to be as accurate as possible but since nobody involved in the situation came to explain, I'm quite limited. Thank you to the two of you (Aside from my main contact) that approached me to tell me what was going on, even though you were both distant from what was happening. I wholeheartedly appreciate you.

Let's get started, shall we?

The Server

This will address both the previous state of the server, the current state, and the demands presented in order to reform the server.

Firstly, the previous state. It's abundantly clear that none of you involved in the management of that server 1) know how to run a server with a mixed age range, 2) Have enough emotional control to not abuse moderator positions, and 3) Know what to include and not to include in a server in order to provide a healthy environment. This is not calling you out, this is a statement of fact because this community is mostly children. Yes, yes, some of you are close to 18. But I'm fucking 25. You're children to me.

The current state. Though the NSFW channels seem to be removed (Which they shouldn't have even existed in the first place without proper age verification and a moderator group of adults), there's still aspects present that should NOT be in a healthy server. Let's break it down. The Trigger Channel. Though I understand that it might be seen as necessary for you to make sure that people don't misstep, you do realize that people can use those against you, right? You should NEVER discuss your triggers publicly. The sheer amount of Vent/Mental Health chats. Look. It's clear that you're all trying to take responsibility for each other and that's nice and all, but none of you have boundaries. These types of discussions are fine to have with friends, it's important to have a supportive net of friends, but you should NEVER have a vent chat unless it is in private. These discussions you're all having in there are things that should be brought up to medical professionals. Some of you should be going to HOSPITALS. The fact that there were NSFW chats at all. This is a community of mostly children. I know nothing can stop you kids from exploring on your own, but there should never be a place where adults and children can go at the same time that has sexual connotation. I know y'all might not think this is serious but you kids can get adults into trouble, or end up in compromising situations yourselves. I pray nobody's groomed or grooming any of you.

Now the demands, reviewed by someone that worked as a professional Twitch/Discord moderator for a few years. Things I understand why you want to change it: The sheer amount of moderators. Too many cooks spoil the stew. By having so many people with that much power, you cause confusion and disarray. Limit your moderation team to 1 moderator per like, 20-30 members, with a good spread of time zone variance. Transparency of moderator decisions. Sorta. This should always be a given. Any rule changes and major events should be publicized, but things like rule violations, bans, and things as such should stay in the background. You are not entitled to every piece of information. No-nonsense moderator applications. Being a moderator is something to be taken seriously. You're ensuring the safety of your peers, not making a secret club. Things I do not understand: Public moderator applications. This isn't necessary. Sharing applications with the moderation team is all well and good, but it's not a public affair. You aren't voted on like parliament or the senate. "Collectivized" server ownership. A server should be made up of one trusted owner and a team of moderators. This isn't a government, it's a leisure activity. A big server I'm in has one moderator per 50 members. YOURS has at LEAST one for every FUCKING EIGHT. That's oversaturation. Any further collectivization and you may as well just make everyone a moderator. Server owner rotates between moderators. This isn't going to work. I promise you with all my little rotten heart that this isn't going to work. You're either going to give up or someone is going to just... Not give up the server owner position. You do realize that can happen, right? That they can just not give up the Server Owner role? What happens then? Did you have a contingency plan? Opt-in Mental Health channels. It's better than just leaving them free and open, but having them at ALL is still not good. Like I brought up before.

Phew, and that's all just the SERVER.

The Tumblr Community

As some of you may know, I was one of the handful of founding blogs in this project.

It has gotten way out of hand.

We have lost the spirit of what we started as, and as a result we have become a very toxic, disorganized community built on the backs of people who cannot support it.

People are being exiled from the community left and right for reasons I cannot figure out but am certain are petty in spirit. You're all great kids, but you're ruthless. You're going to cannibalize this community someday. I pray it happens soon, so you can all get over the grief that much sooner. I pray it rips off like a bandage, quick and efficient, a grand hoorah that leaves this place etched in the annals of Tumblr history. But we all know it won't. You'll all slowly cannibalize the community, ousting any member that stands up against whatever in group is most popular at the time, and you'll slowly decline in number until it's just a handful of you all bickering with yourselves about what went wrong. You'll look back and wonder what happened to change this community so much and there won't be anything to pinpoint because it's not just one event that caused its downfall. It's dozens.

If you know what's best for you, you'll leave on your own terms before that day comes.

Go touch grass. Stay in school, go to college, follow your dreams, and go to fucking therapy. All of you.

I promise you, as someone who was once in your shoes; young and stupid with a big RP blog and a lot of moxie, I know how this ends. Godspeed Tem-ily, you beautiful Undertale blog.

Final thoughts

I'll give a summary of Glitches' and Bugs' storyline tonight or tomorrow or something. Feel free to send me asks through the day, maybe tomorrow. but after that I'm gonna abandon the blog for good.

As an adult of my age, I shouldn't have even stayed when I realized how young some of you were. This is me rectifying that mistake. Any adults are free to hit me up, but i don't wanna deal with y'all being so young compared to me. It's just not right for us to interact.

Goodbye and good luck.

Glitches.

[leonsliga]

I think it was Leon's fatal mistake to stay at Bayern this season. He's just going to spend the season on this shit and not win anything. The team needs to rebuild, it was clear last season, so Leon will leave in the summer anyway. Fans always blame Leon, now they hate him and even the fans who always teased him are asking him to sell. He is always one of the main problems for the media, fans, and apparently for the board. And now he will be remembered not as the player who played an important role when they won the title, but as the player who caused them to lose this season. But the worst thing is that the decision to stay in Bayern cost him a place in the national team. Leon needs a coach who will know how to use him, who will be able to make him really effective for the team. Leon stayed because he thought it would be easier for him to be fit in the familiar atmosphere in Munich. But this is a mistake, it is difficult to play well in a crisis team. Nagelsmann has no reason to invite Leon for the Euro. Andrich, for example, has not played for the national team before, but now he is a top player because he works with the right coach. Hopefully Leon can find the right coach too. I really don't think Leon will play for Bayern next season. Too much is not working, too much needs to be changed

I totally get the frustration honestly. That’s why I love tumblr, because it’s a safe space for us to vent when we need to. And this definitely feels like one of those times 😂😵

I think the tricky thing about this season was that not only did he stay out of familiarity with Munich and with Bayern, but he also stayed out of love. He said it best when he was asked directly whether he would be leaving Bayern this past summer:

Bayern isn’t just what’s comfortable; it’s what’s home.

He once said that when he makes decisions on his own, he’s always able to live with the consequences. After all, if things go wrong, he only has himself to blame. Was his decision to stay at Bayern made with his heart more than his head? Possibly. But whether he regrets his decision to stay at Bayern or not, I think he’ll be able to make peace with it (regardless of what happens, hopefully).

Still, like you pointed out, it’s hard to ignore how often he’s the target of fan abuse and criticism—how undervalued he’s been by recent coaches and the board alike. His performances falling short of exceptional makes him an easy scapegoat for the media. And that’s not even mentioning the NT heartbreak!

One thing’s for certain: this summer will be an interesting one. I don’t know where I stand on whether he’ll stay or get sold if I’m honest. Max Eberl, our new board member for sport, voiced his support for Leon recently, which gives me hope, but I think it’ll come to down to the arrival of the new manager at the end of the day. Each coach comes with their own vision, and you said it yourself: Leon needs a coach who knows how to use him. We’ve seen pretty much the complete opposite of that recently. Leon spent half the season trying to perform his way into Tuchel’s good graces, and when his performances did improve, Tuchel still didn’t know how to get the best out of him. In focusing primarily on defense as Tuchel requested, Leon lost some of that box-to-box magic that makes him stand out. This weakened the link between defense and attack at times and disrupted the flow between those two extremes. I can only hope that the new coach’s tactics suit not only Leon better, but the whole squad as well. Andrich is a great example of how a player can thrive under a great coach; I hope we get to see some of that play out at Bayern next season.

You could argue that some of Bayern’s struggles come down to Leon’s poor performances, and at times I’d agree with you. He’s had his share of matches to forget, but honestly, that’s true for the majority of Bayern’s players this season. There’s cracks just about everywhere in our club right now, and it’ll take more than slapping plasters on top to fix them. We need the right coach with the backing of the board, who’s willing to make necessary changes to get the best out of the team. What that looks like remains to be seen.

As things stand now, it’s hard not have doubts about Leon’s place. It still feels like there’s more critics on the board than outright supporters. Maybe that’s my frustration talking, I don’t know. But I’ll echo what I said last summer: I hope he’ll stay as a fan of his who also happens to be a Bayern fan, but more importantly, I hope he’ll stay if that’s what he wants. And if he does leave, I hope gets the chance to do so on his own terms, whatever those are.

[agried]

Alkakurei Large-Scaled Event Speculation

i don’t really enstars post publicly, but i was thinking about the upcoming large-scaled event for alkakurei recently, and i had some speculations about some of the overarching themes involved. these speculations mostly draw on things brought up in !!era main story and ss arc, though some other stories do come up. 

admittedly, i haven’t been able to read ss finals or the majority of main story 1.5, but i’ve read all the alkakurei song event stories save both their climaxes (which i only read livetweets of) and nearly all the unit/tour event stories that are in engstars music, so i at least have an idea of the overall situation in es. if there’s something i got wrong though (main story is a tiny bit hazy to me, i’m trying to reread it for a deeper analysis of hiiro’s character development but it’s So Long), please let me know!

first off, it’s important to realize both alkaloid’s and crazy:b’s general positions in es as a whole. i think i saw a post a while back where someone was disappointed by alkaloid being less ‘protagonist-like’ than trickstar, as they didn’t really rebel in any major way against their situation or the capitalistic framework they were built on. however, they weren’t written to be that way. the group that resembles trickstar more, in terms of ideals, would actually be crazy:b.

this is mostly because of alkaloid’s position as the prototype for es’ mass produced idols. because of this status, alongside their newness, they rely very heavily on es’ benefits to succeed in the industry. es is happy to give that help, though, because their success is proof that idol mass-production is feasible and profitable. 

but if alkaloid chooses to not follow their rules, and are seen to be dissenting against es (this is brought up in graduation) or fall out of favor with es’ higher-ups (as seen in playing cards), they’re in danger of being disbanded or punished in some way. (though phantom airship mentions that they’re one of the up-and-coming new units of es, compared to units from !era who have experience outside the system and have more established fanbases, they’re still in a more tenuous position.)

in contrast, crazy:b has always been a lot more rebellious. while they were also forced into making a unit and ‘attacking’ existing es units in order to deepen those units’ bonds and help bring their problems to light so they could fix them, rinne notably turned the tables on es and also pushed his own goal of showing the problems and effects of es’ system to the public so that they’d be more aware of the darker side of the idol industry. though they were branded as troublemakers by es and were set to be dismissed once they were done with their attacks, rinne’s criticism of the industry made him and crazy:b champions of those who had been destroyed by or otherwise pushed out of it, leading the public to show their support for them, and ryuseitai, knights, undead, and alkaloid’s help also let them stay as a unit, validating their existence to es. 

how they were branded during the summer did affect their job opportunities and experience as well. because of their ‘troublemaker’ status, they weren’t sought out as much for jobs and instead had to look for ones (honey bee) or make ones (hot limit) that would accept them, making them generally more self-sufficient than alkaloid. this status allowed them to interact with more people outside of es’ influence, and get more in touch with those who shared their opinions on the industry, like beehive (night club). while i would say that cospro does support them, they aren’t as beholden to the company’s pressures as alkaloid is, since they don’t rely on it as much.

related to this, alkaloid and crazy:b’s members also have different personalities and different opinions on society and the idol industry. that’s a pretty obvious thing to say, but overall, while all of alkakurei are othered from society in some way (i could go on about this in a whole other analysis actually), alkaloid has been written to be more optimistic about society and the industry, and none of them are the type to rebel against either of those systems. aira even asked rinne “why do you have to go against the system? what’s so bad about it?”. as befitting their theme as ‘soldiers’, alkaloid is the obedient unit that follows orders. while they do sometimes twist what’s asked of them to their own benefit (they participated in mdm as asked by es, but also used their stage to keep crazy:b together despite es’ plans to discard them), in the end, they still follow the orders given to them.

crazy:b, however, are all a bit more disillusioned by society and the idol industry. rinne in main story mentions that he’s been called ‘wrong’ by society all his life, himeru is intensely aware of the stigma against his and kaname’s last name (from obbligato. also in night club, he expresses anger at society suppressing members of minority groups), similar to niki, who still is worried about joining the culinary world due to the rumors associated with his last name (hot limit), and finally, kohaku knows the darker side of society and the idol industry through his upbringing and through double face. they’re less idealistic, and more willing to defy what is considered ‘acceptable’ and speak out against it. (also, can i just say it’s delicious that the amagis are still following the footsteps of their past selves, with hiiro taking orders and rinne breaking them? ough, i have so many feelings.)

so why am i bringing this up? well, there’s been a lot of stories recently criticizing es and their monopoly on the idol industry. like the ss arc— the first story that came to mind was submarine, where the local idols begged ryuseitai to help them against the other es units who had systematically crushed them, as their fans had been poached to go to other areas where ss was taking place, and they were unused to the battle format that was instituted in okinawa (i’ve made jokes about the fact that there are so many stories that refer to es as “the big wave”, or as “an uncaring monster” that crushes everything in its path without remorse or malice. i feel like i run into them like every two big stories and i’m like “ah, it’s this again” lol). 

notably in the main story, the fact that alkaloid is the prototype for mass-produced idols isn’t actually addressed that strongly. i recall that alkaloid learned of it, felt bad about it, but then had to push it away in order to help crazy:b since they couldn’t really do anything about it. similarly, while crazy:b’s rebellion against the system revealed some of the problems with es, es still has been moving forward in such a way that many units have begun to disagree with, but that they seemingly cannot change.

this leads me to my speculation that in the alkakurei large-scale event, alkaloid and crazy:b will be set against each other in the midst of es’ industrialization and mass-production of new idols, with crazy:b rebelling against this development while alkaloid supports it as they don’t have the power to go against it. 

while this might sound extremely similar to the graduation event, i’m still leaning toward the idea of the two teams being set against each other, notably because for all other large-scale stories, all the characters who are 5 star cards in it are somehow against each other in some ways. graduation had subaru, supporting es, on one side and hokuto, against es, on the other, the ss finals cards were the members of the teams leading the red team and the white team, and altered/origin had eichi and rei, a member of ex-fine and a member of the five eccentrics. i don’t believe it will be like certain regular tours, where they aren’t actually in conflict. 

frankly, if the large-scale event isn't actually related to some of the units disagreeing with es, i have no idea what it'll be about. because even anzu is becoming more independent from es, which is a bad sign since she’s important to all the units to at least some degree, and she's been the eye of the storm for great change.

of course, akira could always be silly goofy and make everything i just speculated wrong, but there are definitely some interesting plot threads still somewhat loose for alkaloid and crazy:b, so i’m really hoping that they’re picked up in this upcoming event. i just feel like one of these days, there will have to be a story confronting es and somehow changing their direction, even just a little bit, because a lot of units have expressed disagreement with the way es is moving.

admittedly, i cannot say who will be the 5 stars for this event— out of all of the characters, i’ve heard that tatsumi and niki both haven’t had as much of their childhood backstories/their reasons to be an idol explored quite as deeply as some of the other members of alkakurei, but i personally expect the 5 stars to be hiiro and rinne since they’re the leaders of their units. also, i really like the idea that they’ve come full circle from mdm, with rinne now helping hiiro figure out a new way to move forward and achieve a dream that hiiro chose, for once. 

but who knows! we’ll have to wait for april to see. needless to say, i’m excited for what’s coming next, even if it turns out to be different from what i expect.

[dp1nk]

attempting to join groups online about DID taught me something: those groups are terrible and don't help you with your actual symptoms. they like to romanticize them and make them out to be very different than they are.

i'm 99% sure most of the kids (the groups tend to be of people well under their mid-20s which was a red flag i should have noticed) are just kinnies roleplaying their favorite characters. any time i would try to explain something clinical about having DID and what it actually feels like for me, i would offend someone. one time, i explained that self diagnosing it is a bad idea when you're a kid, and it's actually unlikely because your brain doesn't really let you notice your symptoms (mine barely lets me do it even now!) and that apparently set off a chain reaction of "imposter syndrome" and someone even told me that i made them want to kill themselves. no i'm not kidding.

support groups or "communities" for DID/PTSD are anything but. you can't vet whether the members are actually dealing with a dissociative disorder because they actively discourage that and don't question self diagnosis. and maybe i just think that's so dangerous because i know my own disorder well enough after three years that i have only ever met and befriended one other system.

i'm sure i've met others, but not very many. the rest are just fantasy prone kids, which isn't an issue mind you - kids will be kids and i always appreciate creativity and relate to that on some levels. but consider having cancer and going through chemo, losing your hair, and being told by a healthy kid who just shaved their head that they understand your struggles. that's how i feel most of the time trying to join groups. it turns into a situation where it's almost like i'm feeding them information they didn't have about DID and many of them suddenly drop the act and realize they were actually mistaken about having it themselves. (ideal, in my opinion, because anyone seeking help for their mental health would be receptive to that, but very rare. but the fact that it happens in groups meant for people who supposedly already know they're going through dissociation and should be getting therapy is another red flag)

why do i bring this up? why am i ranting about this? it's just lonely, and it's really scary how misinterpreted and misunderstood something i have to live with is to others. but if i ever try to explain what it's like, or i want to share my experiences, i'm an asshole. my personality as a part of a system is misunderstood and i'm misread so much because i'm a "protector". (i'm used to most people thinking i'm too serious or even mean, but you'd think groups meant for DID would understand protective alters tend to be a bit emotionally constipated, and not give me a hard time for how i come across! well, no, they never do!) so maybe i just needed to vent a little steam i've had about it. i don't know if it makes sense to anyone.

i appreciate the few people who do understand what i go through and let me vent my struggles to them even if they may not be able to get inside my head. that's the most important thing i or any system could have.

still, it feels obnoxious to even talk about my DID because people have opinions and impressions about it that can be pretty shocking, and it really shows me why when this disorder is actually the most misunderstood and romanticized thing i've witnessed in a long time. and the fact that 'support groups' prioritize actual impressionable kids who couldn't possibly see their own symptoms over someone like me, for whom dissociation has destroyed my life, is disheartening. it doesn't feel very supportive. it feels like a high school club.

i'll try not to vent about this too much, but i know other people with DID actually feel the way i do, and it's only when my blunt ass mentions it that it's ever seen. and there's a reason for that. (they deserve to know they're not the crazy ones though. online groups fail us a lot of the time and they can be pretty dangerous.)

[qnewsau]

From self-defence to self-empowerment with Melbourne Dragons

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/from-self-defence-to-self-empowerment-with-melbourne-dragons/

From self-defence to self-empowerment with Melbourne Dragons

Strength comes in all shapes, sizes and abilities, and no one knows that more than the Melbourne Dragons.

Melbourne’s first inclusive LGBTQIA+ martial arts club, the Melbourne Dragons, was born from a community need for self-defence classes.

When we think martial arts, I know the first thing many of us think of is Mr Miyagi saying, ‘Wax on. Wax Off’ in Karate Kid.

But the skill and training you learn through martial arts means so much more for members of our communities looking for connection.

“For me, seeking out the Melbourne Dragons was more than health and fitness.”Dragons President Lilith told us.

“I was looking to find some extra confidence, to learn self-defence, as well as find a bit of community.”

Everyone’s personal goals are different.

“When I started a year ago, it was about fitness and confidence, and then I built up to a few tournaments.”

“Even though there is a lot of individualism because martial arts are about improving oneself, you’re still part of the community.”

“Imparting knowledge to others is a really big thing for me, and helps build great connections as well.” Lilith said.

Supplied

It’s never too late to start

Melbourne Dragons offer martial Arts and self-defence classes in a queer-friendly dojo.

They also run weekly Karate and Muay Thai/Kickboxing sessions in a supportive and inclusive environment.

“The original idea was about starting self-defence classes for the LGBTQ+ community.” Sensei and founding member Damien told us.

“After the six-week course, it grew from there.”

Nine years on, the club continues to help the community grow in ability, confidence and fitness.

“We are very open and welcome, and people can train at their own pace.”

“Everyone knows what it’s like to walk in on that first day and how nervous it can be.”

The Melbourne Dragons offer one free trial class to come along to the dojo and see what it’s like before you commit.

“As an instructor, it is great for me to watch when a person first comes in and see their progress build as their body starts to build on technique,” Damien said.

“To see people who can’t throw a punch on day way progress to kicking head height and see the confidence grow in them is great.”

Supplied

More than defence

When talking about why members wanted to try martial arts, bullying when young is a theme that kept coming up.

But you learn more about yourself as your defence training grows.

“For me, as I learned more, it became a source of resilience within me,” Damien said,

“I realised that if I wanted to, I could hurt someone, but knowing you’re making a choice not to do that is very powerful.”

“A message I want everyone who walks through our door to know is that what we do is about empowerment.”

“Joining dragons and embracing a bunch of things through martial arts has changed my life, fitness and confidence overall,” Lilith told us.

“It’s made me a better person in ways both emotionally, physically and socially.”

“I even embraced a bit of athleticism by competing above my belt in a competition where I have medals now.” they said

Lillith recently placed 1st in a few categories at a state championship.

“Not bad for a 34-year-old queer woman who used to get picked last in sports and bullied in school.”

You can find out more about Melbourne Dragons here.

Supplied

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

[honeylavenderangel]

Blog Post: Convention

In my early high school experience, from the 9th grade to the 10th grade I was apart of my school’s Anime Appreciation club. It wasn’t exclusive to anime, and it was actually called Animation Nation. While I was not very familiar with anime at the time, this place served as a safe space with other students who had interests that deviated from what was seen as the norm. As someone who has played a lot of video games before, I was aware of the intersection between people who were “gamers” and “anime” fans and this inspired me to take a chance and begin submersing myself into the world of Japanese entertainment. I have always dealt with a lot of social anxiety and for awhile I struggled with integrating myself into social groups and functions with the rest of my peers in high school. When I found Animation Nation, I found a place that I could feel comfortable in. I didn’t have to worry about being judged for getting into anime, I didn’t have to worry about whether or not my interests were too weird. My experience in Animation Nation reminds me of Genshiken (Part 1).

My experience in this club gave me a strong understanding of youth culture, because as a 13/14-year-old it was imperative to learn the importance of community and how to find it. My time as a teenager was full of insecurity, and as a middle schooler I personally felt like I took everyone’s opinions to heart and there was a point in time where other people’s views on my interests and hobbies affected me and made me feel shame. So by finding community centered around my interests, in this specific example years later in Animation Nation, it allowed me to explore an interest of mine in an environment without judgement or shame.

 In Genshiken (Part 1), while it centers the lives of university students, they are still collectively treated as like an outsider due to their participation in “Otaku” culture. Despite being alienated from their peers, they all found a sense of community and belonging with each other. This is what mirrored my experience as a member of Animation Nation, and greatly  shaped my perspective on youth culture. Additionally, I think there’s something to be said that when someone is in an environment they feel comfortable in, it’s easier for them to grow as they navigate their personal identity. I didn’t feel any shame in the few times that I had either attempted to cosplay a popular anime, or video game character, or even just dressing up in a way that I felt expressed my identity, because I was in an environment where I was supported unconditionally by the people that I was with.

In Genshiken (Part 2), the friendships that were made in (Part 1) by the characters transition from college to adult life friendships. When I compare this to my own personal experience, many of the initial friendships that I formed during my time in Animation Nation gave me a sense of belonging that extended beyond my time in the club itself. I realized that this community was not just about shared interests, but also about mutual support and understanding, which was crucial in helping me develop a stronger sense of self during a formative period of my life. Many of these people are still people that I keep in contact with today.

Not only did being apart of an anime fandom/ anime oriented organization help me feel comfortable in myself, it allowed me to try new things and step out of my comfort zone. Had I not experimented with makeup and cosplaying a couple of times in early high school I don’t think I would’ve learned the basics of doing my makeup until much later in life or developed the confidence to model, and wear experimental fashion in college. Navigating one’s culture identity in the face of adversity allows one to fully be confident in themselves and their own skin.

Image below: Myself and my cat feeling confident

[myfaveisfuckable]

@ilikelookingatthings thanks for giving me an excuse to be incoherent about these guys

NOOOO look ok but damn it I want them to be married ok

It's... Like the same plot ish of sxf where loid is trying to infiltrate via his kid becoming friends with the guys kid but the school requires married couples (not really but pretend with me), and he runs into Mr fujioka in the same circumstances he would have met yor (unfortunately I am evicting best girl Yor for this ... Sorry yor) and it turns out! That Mr fujioka is in similar "need to be married to get past the entry interview bc widowers apparently don't count now" panic plotting mode then they look at each other like.... Alright yeah no one said it can't be two dudes anyway it's modern days gay rights bay bee this man is my wife now

And then they uh become a nice little family unit and their daughters are besties and Loid charms the host club and gets incriminating evidence on kyoyas dad (bc I don't like him) and the mission is technically over but loid still stays bc "it's good to have a guy on the inside with all these powerful families" (yeah right loid admit you love the drag queen (I know he's not technically canonically a drag queen but I think he does do some sometimes. For me))

And of course, the host club and Anya interaction is top tier.... Hikaru and Kaoru keep trying to prank her or get her to confuse their identities and can't figure out why tf it won't work .. Hani being happy there's someone his own size and teaching her martial arts and they eat sweets together... Mori likes adorable children I bet... Tamakis overjoyed to do a bond man spy theme for the club and rescue princess Anya whenever loid is busy... Kyoya figured out she can read minds and uses it for evil market research...

I just know forjioka would be a local power couple and can you imagine the pta meetings?!

Like .. and what if loid is asexual and Mr fujioka supports that as a member of the lgbtqia+ community and as his husband... Loid and Haruhi being narrative foils of each other (he repressed his identity for so long and pretended so strongly and now he can relax and explore it and hes confused and nervous and excited) (she's just coming into her own and is exploring and she's confused and nervous and excited) (they go to the library and do a truly daunting amount of research about it)

Also wouldn't it be funny if liking pretty blondes ran in haruhi's family

I also think there's a height difference but I actually don't know but I think I'd like it

I feel like I should explain that I was one of those middle school yaoi phase kids and highschool yaoi phase kids and you could probably tell bc I'm just mashing two attractive guys together and going now kissy kissy but yeah. I made the ship on a vague whim maybe a month ago and now I cannot be normal

Anyway your idea also sounds fun to explore and I will be thinking about it for the next 2-3 business weeks

Rants!

Forjioka: God. Can you imagine. Haruhi finally thinks she's getting a calm dad and then Mr Loid 'anxiety' Forger enters the chat. Anya meeting the host club... Haruhi Anya neurodivergent siblings eating peanuts and watching the utter clownery of the host club... Two men, who on the surface resemble the construction of the average nuclear family but in reality are anything but.. modern era Loid is trying to get close to the parents of the host club through Haruhi instead of Damien and the Desmonds... Parents day at the host club, anyone?? God .

You x my mom: she has a lot of dogs... Dog sons in law is a pretty good perk tbh but she also has me and I'm annoying

[brighteyedbushybrowed]

𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 Sunshine may not be the loudest or most outgoing of the ghouls, but she always listens and shows her love in other ways.

𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 Little Sunshine.

𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐩(𝐬) Sunshine x GN!Reader.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 No spice here. Just some festive themed fluff. Gift giving. Papa is a kind soul and for once I don't make him suffer.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 1317 words.

𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 I think it was a surprise to nobody that this prompt was gonna be used for Sunshine. I feel like she and the other ghoulettes deserve more fics and more love so this is me trying to support the cause. I've checked this over to make sure pronouns and gendered terms weren't used for reader but please let me know if I've missed any and I'll change them!

Of all the ghouls in the ministry, Sunshine was by far one of the quietest and most introverted. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk to anyone or that she was rude, she just struggled a little to find where she fit in. As the newest of the ghouls, she envied the friendships and relationships that the other ghouls had already formed with the siblings of sin and other members of the Clergy. Papa, of course, was very kind and understanding and always made sure she was aware that his office door was always open for her if she needed to talk. She appreciated that and had taken him up on that offer a couple of times, feeling reassured and more at ease after each visit.

When she met you in the library that fateful summer afternoon, things started to change a little. She allowed herself to talk a little more, though not much, and tried to get to know you. She used a book you’d picked out from the shelf as a starting point, asking you if you’d read it before. When you told her it was one of your favourites and that you borrowed it from the library frequently, she stored that piece of information away for a later date.

From that point on, the two of you could often be found in there together, reading and having hushed conversations so as to not annoy the sibling that ran the library too much. She found that you adored reading and literature, even going so far as to consider asking Papa if you could run your own little book club for other inhabitants of the ministry. You hadn’t found the courage to ask him yet, but you always assured Sunshine “one day, I’ll ask him.” She didn’t push you into asking him sooner or ask why you couldn’t just ask him now. Instead, she filed away that piece of information to think about later.

A couple of months into your friendship was when you first kissed the ghoulette. The warm glow of the summer sun shone through the stained glass of the library windows, and you leaned across the table to lightly press your lips against hers. It was a chaste kiss, soft and shy, but it still lit her soul alight as if this was the first time she was truly living. She interrupted your apology by kissing you again, and once it ended you both giggled and went back to your books, though neither of you could focus on the contents of them anymore.

Months passed and Christmas began to approach. You both agreed to get each other gifts, though Sunshine wasn’t sure what to get you. She did consider a book, but what book would you buy for someone who already has all the books they could ever want right at their fingertips? Limited editions of books were costly, and Sunshine didn’t feel confident enough to ask Papa if he could help her buy one for you. She wished she’d saved her own money to buy you one, but it was no bother. She could always save up for your birthday or even next Christmas if she was fortunate enough to still be able to call you her partner.

It was the thought of books and the library that finally gave her the idea for your gift. You’d started talking less about starting a book club, looking glum when she brought it up in conversation, and she’d realised that you’d lost your nerve to ask Papa about it. She knew it was risky, but she wanted to put that smile back on your face and knew exactly how to go about it.

“Come in,” Papa called when she knocked on the door to his office. The kind smile on his face when she entered was enough to put her at ease, reassuring her that she could do this.

“Good afternoon, Papa. May I trouble you for a moment?”

He gestured for Sunshine to take a seat at his desk, moving to his own seat behind it and making himself comfortable. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company, sorella?”

The ghoulette twisted her hands in her lap as she sat, her nerves beginning to creep back up on her again. “I would like to give my love a present.”

He hummed in thought. “I see. Was there a gift that you hand in mind?”

She nodded before looking at him. “I do, but I’ll need your help. It’s… not something I can do on my own.”

***

“Why won’t you let me see where we’re going? What if I trip and make you fall?”

Sunshine’s hand on the base of your back as the two of you walked slowly through the ministry was firm as she guided you.

“I won’t let you fall, I promise. We’re almost there,” she responded, a bubble of anxious excitement in the pit of her stomach. Papa had been incredibly helpful in making sure your gift was perfect, but she was still unsure about how you’d react. What if you got upset at her? What if you both ended up arguing and you decided you didn’t want to be with her anymore? The last thing she wanted was to insult you or hurt your feelings.

When the two of you finally reached your destination, Sunshine smiled gratefully at Mountain as he held the door open for the pair of you. He made sure to close it as quietly as possible once you were both in and then made his way over to the table that the other ghouls and Papa were sat at. Your girlfriend stopped you just before the table, standing in front of you.

“Okay, you can look now. Surprise!”

She watched as you removed the blindfold and took in the scene before you: Papa and the ghouls sat around a library table with books in front of them and looking towards you with expectant smiles. It took a moment for you to figure it out, wondering why everyone had gathered, and when you saw that all the books were the same and everyone had notebooks and pens with them your mouth fell open.

“Is this… did you make a book club for me?” Your eyes began to gloss over, making Sunshine panic.

“Was this too much? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you or anything. You’ve just talked for so long about starting one and I didn’t want you to give up on it. I hope I didn’t overstep any boundaries.”

You smiled and pulled her in for a kiss, tightly embracing her as she wiped away a stray tear.

“No,” you sniffled, “I love it, my little Sunshine. This is the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you.”

The two of you beamed at each other just as Papa cleared his throat.

“Would you both care to join us? I have a lot to say about this Wuthering Heights. I do not see how people can call it a romance novel. It’s clearly not romantic in any way,” he said, opening his notebook to a page full to the brim with notes and page numbers.

Aether snorted. “That much is obvious. That’s not love, it’s obsession.”

“Did we even read the same book?” Swiss passionately flipped open his own notes. “They were madly in love with each other! Heathcliff is grieving over the loss of his one great love! How is that not romance?”

As the group began to heatedly debate the topic, you and Sunshine took your seats at the head of the table where two copies of the book sat waiting for you, your girlfriend’s own notes placed on top of her copy ready for you all to discuss for what was to be the first of many Ministry Book Club meetings.

[btssaysstudy]

Cheer || jjk.

Pairing: Jungkook x reader Genre: fluff, cheerleader!yn x athlete!jk (requested by anon) Warning(s): minor swearing, alcohol, drinking games mentioned, college after game parties, reader is a cheer athlete, jungkook plays rugby, stress from expectations WC: ~9.9k (this is the longest I've ever written I hope it doesn't flop!!) Summary: You felt that your cheer team was under-appreciated by certain people — specifically the rugby team that your cheer team supports during their matches. How is it that their star player, Jeon Jungkook, manages to find his way into your life despite having a bad impression of the rugby players? Update (6/8): Made an edit

You always loved being in a team. That would explain why you were where you were. Standing on the mat in the indoor gym with your cheer team on a Friday night. Cheer was beyond exhausting, but you still loved doing it, especially with the team that you got in college. Your coach - a perfectionist - always drilled you guys over the minute details. That would also explain why you were still practicing for something so ‘trivial’ - your opinion, not your coach’s.

Your team was practicing the routine for the rugby team’s qualifying match on Monday. It was a simple routine - as always. Your team didn’t do championship level routines during such events, you were all just there as moral support and being the hype people for the team. All you had to do was cheer with your pom poms, throw in a couple of stunts and the crowd would go wild.

But every event was a chance to get better, to get closer to perfect, according to your coach. And you did not disagree. You just never looked forward to cheering for the rugby team even after all the events. Despite your team always cheering for the football club, you could say you disliked most of them. It always felt as though they didn’t appreciate the moral support and took you guys for granted.

“Might want to look happy, yn.” You heard a playful remark from behind. Jimin, your most trusted base.

“I’ll keep that in mind. Just don’t drop me.”

There was no way you could pull off your stunts if you didn’t have trust in your teammates. And you could say you trusted Jimin with your life - literally. Accidents and mistakes were bound to happen but there was no doubt that you’d be down to try for anything if Jimin was your base.

Not only was Jimin a trustworthy base, but he was also an amazing stunter. His physique was perfect to be an in between, he could pull off both roles. That almost guaranteed him a spot on the mat every time. He was extremely hardworking as well and you’ll always be proud of your best friend making mat. Of course, you wanted to make mat just as badly as the next person.

Last season, you did not make mat and it crushed you. Jimin was there to get you out of your rut and encouraged you to bounce back stronger. Thanks to him, you managed to pick yourself up and train harder for the upcoming nationals. You had never been more determined to make mat.

“Point your toes, I want my flyers looking really perfect.” Your coach yelled over the music. Your coach was a beast, but an effective one, nonetheless. Your team won nationals last season and ready to bag this season as well.

“Alright, that’s all for today. Clean the place up and you guys can go home. Thanks everybody!” Your coach clapped their hands and the team followed suit as everyone got up from the mat and started tidying the place.

“Need a lift?”

“Yes please, you’re the best!” You pulled Jimin in for a tight hug, “Okay, you do this then!” Jimin handed you the empty bottles that he picked up from the ground as he headed off the change first.

You grumbled but took his place in defeat.

—

Big smiles were plastered on your faces as you congratulated the winning team - your college. You best friend nudged you while you waved the team goodbye as they passed by. “Coming to the after party?”

“Wouldn’t miss the free drinks and snacks.”

Jimin snorted, “Obviously.”

Though you did say that it felt like the cheer team was under appreciated, you were always invited to the after parties. Most of you went, mainly for the free drinks and snacks.

You flashed two thumbs up with Jimin as Yoongi passed by. A small smile on his face as he slightly bowed his heads in your direction, acknowledging your cheers.

Through all the after parties, you have been acquainted with one of their star players - Min Yoongi. He was one of the few who hung out in the kitchen to avoid all the party games and the crowd in the general. He disliked the unnecessary glamour and attention that came along with joining the rugby club. You admired his passion for rugby and along with Jimin, the three of you became the trio who hid away from the crowd during the parties.

After the debrief with our coach, your team dispersed to your own places to freshen up for the after party. It was a Friday night, and a good night of drinking was warranted after a tiring week.

You were all lucky your coach was not strict regarding such parties, as long as everyone turned up ready for the following practice.

“Glad to see faces I actually like.” Yoongi commented, handing you two drinks he had already prepared. “You make it sound like you hate everyone on your team.”

“I would say a good majority. I’m actually jealous that your cheer team is so close knit.”

Jimin nudged you after you downed your shot, “Without trust, our stunts won’t fly.”

You nodded your head in agreement, “Probably should get my team to watch your practices to learn a thing about team spirit.” Yoongi scoffed, mostly to himself, knowing that realistically, it would never happen.

The three of you turned your attention to the living room, watching Yoongi’s teammates either play beer pong or trying to find their fling for the night.

“They’re skilled, no doubt. But most of them are here for the popularity. It’s rare to find someone who genuinely likes football too.” Yoongi ranted as you poured himself another shot.

“Is there not a single soul?” Jimin asked, feeling a tinge of pity for his friend who was not experiencing the same level of love for his team as Jimin did for the cheer team.

Yoongi’s eyes scanned across the room, slowly shaking his head before his eyes landed on someone. “Actually, there is— Jungkook!” He raised his hand, shouting over the loud music as he tried to get someone’s attention.

You turned your head to see Jungkook approaching your group. “Jungkook? Really?” You questioned Yoongi. Jungkook was one of the star players as well. It was impossible not to know Jungkook. You could walk down any corridor in campus, and you would hear someone mention his name at least once.

“Hey,” Jungkook greeted Yoongi before his eyes shifted to yours and Jimin’s. “What’s going on?”

Yoongi shrugged his shoulders, “Just wanted to introduce you to some of the members from cheer.”

“From cheer, huh?” The corner of his lips tugged upwards as his eyes went back to you.

“I figured you won’t recognise us, even though we’ve been at your parties since, well… Basically here every party.” You didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but it just came out from you. You heard Jimin chuckle from beside you as he draped his arms over you.

“Sorry bud, yn here doesn’t have a good impression of you guys.”

“It’s not like you have a better one.” You bit back at Jimin who just stuck out his tongue at you. “That is true,” He pulled away as he took a drink, “We were actually just bitching about you guys with Yoongi.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened in bewilderment, yet he felt amused enough to stay and find out more. “Is that so, Yoongi?”

His teammate nodded his head nonchalantly, “Just sharing the truth. About how most of them are here to be popular. I called you because I know you’re one of the few who actually joined for rugby.”

Jungkook huffed out an amused hum, “Interesting. What are your names again?”

“Yn and Jimin.” Jimin instantly replied, knowing you were probably going to reply with a snarky comment. “Part of the cheer team, like Yoongi said. She’s mainly a flyer and I’m a base and tumbler.”

You watched as his eyes furrowed in confusion, “S-Sorry I don’t know cheer terms.”

“Not surprised.” You let the words slip as you took a sip from your cup. Jungkook’s eyes looked at you, a hint of challenge and interest on his expression.

“If you have something against me, let’s hear it.”

“Don’t take it personally, Jungkook.” You reached out to give a light pat on his right chest. “I had a bad impression on Yoongi as well.”

With that, Yoongi sighed, nodding his head in the back. “It’s a miracle she likes me now.”

“Well, why don’t you give me a chance to change that impression then?” The left corner of his lip rose a playful look on his face as he challenged you.

It could be the alcohol or could be the loud music that made you disoriented. Nonetheless, you reached out your hand for a handshake, “You’ve got one chance.”

Jimin and Yoongi left the kitchen to enjoy their own time together. You had an inkling that something was stirring between them, but you decided to let them be as you were left alone with Jungkook in the kitchen.

“So, yn,” Jungkook shifted in the high stool, leaning on his right elbow, his attention focused on you. “Care to explain why you seem to hate my team so badly?”

“Buckle your seatbelts, Jeon.” You teased as you reached out for your drink. You watched his attention eyes fixated on yours as he waited for your answer. “I dislike your team because it feels we don’t get the appreciation I feel we rightfully deserve. We’re always there for your plays, even for your friendlies. The support just feels one sided and to me it sucks when we put in a lot for our routines as well.”

You watched him slowly nod his head in understanding, his body leaning backwards as he internalised your words. “I have to admit. I never really paused to think about your cheer team. I mean your outfits and pom poms are cute and all— “

Pointing your finger at him, you interrupted, “Exactly, we’re not just cute outfits and pom poms. We only use the cheesy pom poms for your matches to make the crowd all hyped up. Do you even know we have our own competition as well?”

Jungkook shrugged his shoulders, “Of course I do. Just never watched one.”

You let out a short, dry laugh, “It’s okay. Can’t say I’m surprised.”

Jungkook frowned, noting the dejected tone laced in your laugh and words as you tried to dismiss it. As an athlete himself, he knew how dejecting it must feel that support was one sided or lacking.

“Hey,” He placed the cup on the counter, “Why don’t you educate me? I’d like to know more.”

You smiled, “You’re pretty good at changing your first impression. You’re working really hard.”

He laughed, shaking his head, “No no, I mean it. It’s not just about changing your opinion of me. Tell me about cheer.”

You paused momentarily, recognising the sincerity in his voice as his gaze stayed on you. You knew he was serious about wanting to know more. It was as though the wall you placed between the two seemed to falter, a very minuscule crack forming on the wall.

“Jungkook!” A random college student hollered for his attention, “Come play beer pong with us!” You watched in amusement as you read their body language. They were clearly flirting with Jungkook and calling for his attention.

“Duty calls?”

Jungkook shook his head, “I’ll pass!”

“We can save this talk for another time, you can go— “

“Just to clear things up,” Jungkook turned back to you, “I’m not a fuckboy.”

You choked on air from his sudden defence statement, “I-I didn’t s-say you were— “

“Didn’t have to,” He said with a light smile on his face, “But I expected it too. Comes with the popularity I guess.” “So, you don’t…?” You trailed off and he shook his head, as if he was completely appalled by the sheer thought of being a fuckboy. “No, no. I don’t see the point in flings. Like Yoongi said, I’m here for rugby. Not to find dates.”

It felt as if another crack in the wall was formed after learning that fact. Like how Yoongi managed to break down the wall between you and him a few games ago.

Maybe not all jocks were bad.

“Anyway,” Jungkook pulled you back from your thoughts, “Educate me.”

You began sharing how was practice like, the different roles people were and how strict your coach was. You explained how you were always at the gym on the days you didn’t have training. You always got passionate when you talked about cheer and Jungkook experienced it first-hand. He watched how your face immediately lit up when he asked you to share about the sport. He was sure that even a person with zero interest with cheer would be completely drawn to hear you share about it with how enthusiastic you were.

“We currently have training three times a week since nationals are coming. We practice from late afternoon to almost midnight sometimes.” You paused, a sheepish grin creeping on your face as you realised you had been rambling on about your sport. “I-I’m sorry, I must’ve bored you to death.”

“No, no!” He immediately shook his head, hands out in front shaking as well in protest, “I wasn’t bored. I was really interested. I can tell how much you love cheer though.”

“Y-Yea I really do. Always good to find something to distract you especially during college.”

He nodded his head, “Can’t argue with that.” He raised his plastic cup in his hand, “Cheers to distractions.”

“Cheers,” You laughed, raising your cup towards his.

-

You could say you clicked well with Jungkook that night. In fact, you guys shared a lot about each other’s sport that you didn’t exchange numbers or any form of communication afterwards. It didn’t bug you so much since you figured it was a one-off conversation with him.

To be frank, you almost forgot that you talked with Jungkook that party. Jimin was the one who reminded you, asking about how he was and if you still hated jocks.

“He’s not bad, actually.”

“Of course, that’s why Yoongi actually likes him.” You raised an eyebrow suspiciously, leaning towards Jimin, “Speaking of Yoongi, how are things between you two?”

Your friend snorted, dismissing you with his hand, “What are you talking about? There’s nothing going on. We’re just friendly.”

“For now?”

Jimin shrugged, “We’ll see how it goes.” He gives you a wink before getting up, extending his hand out as an offer to pull you up. “Back on the mat.”

Training went on until 11pm, it was full of drills as soon your coach would be picking who will make mat for nationals. Everyone had to give it their all during practice as you were all constantly being scrutinised by your coach, your attitude, skills, and stamina. You had been training your stunts with Jimin after he managed to pull you back up from your sulking phase. Everything was important.

You separated from Jimin after practice as you made your way to the bus stop to head home. “Yn? Is that you?”

A very familiar honey-like voice.

Jungkook slowly made his way to the bus stop, “What are you doing here at campus so late?” You asked.

“I was studying. Just ended practice?”

“Yea.”

Jungkook glanced at his watch, “Wanna grab a midnight snack?”

You smiled, “Sure.”

“How does ice cream sound?”

“I’m down.”

There was a small ice cream store near campus and luckily, you managed to catch the last order. The both of you enjoyed your slow late night stroll back to the bus stop as you strikes up a conversation with him.

“I realised I was the only one talking about my sport that night. How about you share about rugby? I actually don’t know much about it.”

“You sure?” Jungkook asked, slightly shocked that you had brought up his sport. “Because I can get carried away when I talk about it—“

You laughed, “I’m sure Jungkook. Fire away.”

Jungkook started sharing the rules and positions of rugby - “I’m number 11, one of the wings” You looked at him, already confused with the terms. With a short chuckle, he explained, “I’m one of the backs. We do the running and scoring. Sometimes, we have to knock people down in our way.”

He continued sharing his training schedule as well - how his team similarly had gym sessions on non-training days just like cheer. The only difference was that the rugby team had a gym off campus.

“Sounds fancy.”

“It’s pretty fancy.” He nodded his head letting out an airy laugh.

“Rubgy doesn’t sound too bad now that I know how it works.”

“You could watch one of our matches or practices when you guys aren’t cheering for us.”

“Why not.”

—

“Guess who I see?” Jimin whispered, nudging you out of your focus. You looked up, placing your dumbbells down, “Where are you looking at?”

“6 o’clock.” He muttered as he sneakily stole your dumbbells to do his set while you turned around to spot Jungkook who had just entered the gym.

You were surprised to see Jungkook and his teammates at the gym. Yoongi was the first one who spotted you. He sent a small smile, raising his hand for a short wave in your direction.

“Hey thief,” You nudged Jimin back, “Yoongi is here too.”

“I know, that’s why I stole your dumbbells.” You chuckled, smacking his toned arms upon learning his tactic.

You watched Yoongi talk to Jungkook, seemingly informing him that you were there as Jungkook turned his body around, his eyes meeting yours. You smiled, sending a hello with your hand to which he returned.

Seeing that you were unoccupied, since Jimin stole your dumbbells, Jungkook made his way to you. “What happened to your almighty external gym?”

He shrugged with a bright smile, “After hearing you hype up the campus gym so much the other night, I thought, why not give it a shot?”

You shook your head with a chuckle, clearly not believing his words. “If that’s the case, enjoy the campus gym!” You reached out to pat his broad shoulders before turning back to resume your gym session.

“Are you done with your set yet?” You questioned Jimin who stood right back up with a grin, “Was he watching me?”

Taking the dumbbells from his hands, you shrugged, “Doubt it.”

“Yea right.” Jimin scoffed, stepping aside to give you more space.

Your gym session lasted an hour as usual, ensuring that you don’t over-work your body as well since your coach was going to be choosing the final 20 soon.

Whenever you weren’t studying or training, you were stressing over whether you’ll make mat. And it was evident on your face. You heard a sigh coming from Jimin, “Don’t stress over it too much. You’ve been working extra hard this season, I’m confident you’ll make it.”

You responded with a weak smile, “Thanks Jimin, I really hope so.”

“Me too, but what you need is to stop thinking about it right now. Go get a distraction for tonight. Tomorrow’s training is going to be torturous.”

“When isn’t it?” You joked, “Touché.”

You packed your gym bag with Jimin, ready to leave and wind down for the day. Jimin was right, you needed a distraction - maybe a Netflix movie, or do some yoga to de-stress, or do a sheet mask —

“Jimin, yn!” You heard Yoongi holler out your names as you walked away from the campus gym.

“Yoongi, what’s up?”

Yoongi walked up to the both of you, accompanied by Jungkook.

“We just ended our session, was thinking if you wanted to grab dinner together?”

“Sure! Yn here,” Jimin laces his arm around yours as he pulled you closer to him, “needs a distraction ASAP.”

“A distraction?” Jungkook asked, looking at you for a response.

“From worrying about making mat.”

Yoongi chuckled, “Jungkook doesn’t know cheer lingo— “

“Oh no,” He shook his head, “I know what that means.”

“You do?!” Yoongi and Jimin asked incredulously.

“I gave him a lecture about cheer during that after party.” You answered and Jimin laughed, “Right! I forgot about your granny lecture.”

You scoffed defensively, “I-I mean he could’ve stopped be any time he was bored— “

“Because I wasn’t. It’s refreshing seeing people be so passionate about something, especially during college.” You returned the smile, the more you interacted with Jungkook, the more you could see why Yoongi kept Jungkook in his small circle of friends.

If there was anything the four of you had in common, it was your passion for your sport.

“I know a great place we can eat at.” Yoongi suggested. The four of you headed over to Yoongi’s go-to restaurants after his workout sessions. As the food started to come to your table, Yoongi and Jimin were caught up with some music competition show that you did not keep up with.

“So how has cheer been?” Jungkook’s voice pulled your attention towards him. “Fun but tiring as usual. Our coach is selecting who will make it to the final 20 for the nationals.” You sighed, anxiousness clearly evident in your tone and on your face.

“Hey, from an athlete to another, I know you’ve trained very hard, and I’ll be rooting for you to make it to the final 20.”

You weren’t sure why, but it felt comforting to hear those words from Jungkook. It felt different than when Jimin would cheer you up. You quickly decided that it was because you were praised by one of the star players of the rugby team. It felt great being acknowledged by someone out of the cheer world.

So, you decided to go with that explanation.

“Thanks, Jungkook, I hope I do. But you technically don’t know whether I’ve trained hard since you’ve never seen me practice.”

“That is true.” He simply grinned at you, “But I just know.”

“You have so much faith in me, Jungkook.” You teased.

He placed his forearms on the table, leaning on them to bring himself slightly close to you, “I have lots of faith in you.”

—

You weren’t stupid and you weren’t blind either. You and Jimin have been spotting Jungkook and Yoongi loitering around the indoor gym lately.

“Did you see them?” Jimin tossed you your newly refilled bottle, “I haven’t left the gym. They’re here again? It’s like 10pm.”

Jimin shrugged his shoulders, “Yoongi was napping on the table though. Looks like Jungkook was the only one actually studying.”

Jungkook never mentioned to you that he stayed back in campus to revise. Though, you barely talked to him since you never exchanged numbers. Every time you had a conversation with him, you both would get too swept up in the conversation that it never occurred to either of you that it was the 21st century and you could talk with your phones.

Training ended an hour later, and you did not expect them to still be outside ‘studying’.

“You guys are still studying?” Jimin called out as you both approached them, Jungkook’s head shot up almost instantly, his eyes finding yours, a bright smile on his face despite his tired eyes from revision. “What a coincidence seeing you here.”

You raised your eyebrows questioningly, “Here,” You looked around with your hands gesturing to the area, “Right outside the indoor gym, with no fan or AC.”

“Yes, here.” He insisted.

Yoongi sighed, finally waking up from his nap. “What’s with the commotion— Oh, you guys are finally done with practice.” He got up and grabbed his bags, “Jimin, need a lift?”

“Yes please!” Jimin nodded his head, giving you a quick goodbye hug before heading off with Yoongi, leaving you alone with Jungkook.

“Guess I can’t judge your preference for a study location.” You made your way to him as he packed up his belongings. “I kinda feel bad for you that Yoongi ditched you.”

Jungkook shook his head with a smile, “He was meant to ditch me anyway. I was waiting to see you.”

You felt yourself momentarily pause; an inhale stuck halfway as you processed his words. He waited to see me. You thought, your brain trying to find an explanation for that.

“I realised we haven’t exchanged numbers even after all this time.” He continued when he didn’t get a response.

“O-Oh right, here,” You reached for your phone in your bag, handing it to Jungkook. “I’ll drop you message.”

Jungkook didn’t take your phone immediately, his eyes locked on your face, as if he was shocked that you didn’t mind exchanging numbers, his hand reached for your phone, gently brushing against your fingers, sending a fluttery feeling in your way.

Once he added his contact, he returned your phone, “It’s 11pm, do you have a ride home?”

“I usually just take the bus.”

“I have a car. Let me take you home.”

“Oh no,” You shook your head, “You don’t have to really, I’m used to taking the bus— “

“But I’m already here anyway, come on, do you not trust my driving skills?” He joked and you let out an airy laugh, “Alright fine. I owe you one.”

“Nah, you already gave me your number.” He winked at you, throwing his bag over his shoulder, leading the way to the carpark with you slightly stunned from his flirtatious remarks.

The care ride with Jungkook was comfortable, slightly tense on your end at the start. Jungkook gave you the cable to play whatever music you wanted which made you slightly more comfortable. “I don’t know if we have the same music taste— “

“It’s alright, just play whatever you want.”

“O-Okay…”

Surprisingly, you and Jungkook didn’t have that much of a difference in differing taste, there were some songs that he didn’t know but found himself liking it. He himself was shocked to learn that you had similar taste in music.

Jungkook didn’t know why he felt so nervous having you in his car and driving you home. It was not like you were getting married. But why did he feel so nervous? Jungkook rarely flirted or showed interest in someone. His love was rugby - his sport - his life. He poured his heart and soul into the sport. But with you, he found that he couldn’t help flirting with you. It felt natural - It felt right.

Ironically, or maybe not, as he drove you home that night, Jungkook knew deep down, he was in it for the long ride.

—

Jimin held your hands tightly as you kept your eyelids shut. You could feel that your heart was about to jump out of your chest as you sat on the mat with Jimin, waiting for your coach to call out all the 20 names. It almost felt like you could feel your heartbeat in your head, the suspense and dragging was killing you.

Your hands clammy in Jimin’s but you did not have a single care as all you wanted in that moment was to make it to nationals.

“Jimin.”

You gasped, pulling Jimin in for a tight hug as he yelled in excitement. You were proud of your best friend; you knew that he would make mat and he deserved it.

Names were called and there were only 5 names left to be called, you grip on Jimin’s hands slackened as you started to accept that you won’t make it—

“Yn.”

You ears rang and you thought you were about to go deaf. Jimin’s loud but happy scream stunned you as you were pulled in for a suffocating hug this time.

The last 4 names were called and the final 20 had been made (subject to change).

Tears welled up in your eyes as memories of your gruelling training flashed through your mind. All the tiring practices and extra trainings with Jimin, the hardships and discipline all paid off.

Training went swimmingly, your coach running through sections of the choreography until it was time to wrap up. “Didn’t have the time to properly congratulate you.” Jimin said with a bright proud grin on his face as you left the gym.

“Thanks, Jimin! Hopefully we can stay on the 20 and compete together.”

“I’m confident we will.”

His eyes shifted away from you, and you followed his gaze to see Jungkook outside, once again, studying, alone this time. “Where’s Yoongi?” You asked as you both approached him.

“He gave up studying with me. Probably went home to crash after our practice today.”

Jimin eyed Jungkook’s facial expression suspiciously, eyes darting between you and Jungkook before he spoke, “I’m going book a ride and head home first yea? Text me when you’re home.” Jimin gives your shoulder a good squeeze before saying bye to you and Jungkook.

“What’s with the big smile on your face?” Jungkook questioned as he started packing his belongings. Your smile was contagious and Jungkook couldn’t help but smile as well as soon as he saw your bright expression.

���I got into the top 20!”

You squared like a little girl, once again excited from the thought of making it this season.

Jungkook abruptly stopped gathering his stuff, stepping away from the table, “Really? Congrats, yn!” He pulled you in for a hug which made your muscles stiffen but your arms automatically wrapped around him.

“I’m so proud of you!”

“Thanks, Jungkook.” You chuckled as you pulled away from the embrace. Your mind was clouded, filled with a mixture of thoughts of making it to the Top 20 and how warm that hug felt. How it felt so ‘right’.

Over the past few weeks, it had become a routine, to have Jungkook studying outside the indoor gym and drive you home after practice. You always told him he didn’t need to send you home, but he never listened.

“Our qualifying match is next Friday, if we win, there’ll be an after party, are you free to come?”

“For the after party?”

“Yea, I mean, technically your whole cheer team usually come but since your nationals are coming, I’m assuming you would be too busy to come.”

“No no, I’ll come.”

“You will?” Jungkook’s face lit up and a bubbling feeling grew in your chest as you tried to ignore it. “Yea I will.”

—

Since Jungkook had his qualifying match around the corner, you stopped seeing him late at night outside the gym. You wouldn’t admit it out loud, but you missed seeing him after your practice.

Nonetheless, you would still spend the night texting him right before bed. It felt so easy to converse with him and you always looked forward to hear stories about his rugby practice and it felt nice to share about your cheer practice to him.

Friday quickly arrived and you decided to watch his match since the game was on your campus grounds. You took a seat somewhere in the middle of the bleachers and your eyes scanned the field to find Jungkook.

You recalled him explaining the positions of the backs and you found his number - 11. A smile crept unto your face as your eyes fixated on Jungkook. Your facial expression always scrunched up into a wince whenever you see them tackle each other during the game. You would let out a hiss as if you were the one sliding against the grass as Jungkook scored a point.

Nonetheless, it was fascinating to actually watch the game. Not surprisingly, after you understood the rules of the game, it was exciting to root for your college’s team. Maybe it was because you were rooting for a particular player, but you wouldn’t admit that to yourself just yet.

During half-time, your college’s team made their way back to the benches which was in front of where you sat. You didn’t bother shouting for his attention since you knew it was important to stay in the zone.

You sat at your spot, watching him, and you almost felt like a stalker. He was drenched in sweat, definitely going to have bruises or scratches from the game, you could see his chest move up and down as he took deep breaths to relax.

You felt your breath get caught in your throat when he had looked up and found your eyes amongst the crowd. Jungkook had been casually looking around the crowd to see if you really did come to watch his game.

He had texted you the night before about how he hoped you could come see his game now that you know how it actually worked. You told him no promises but had made sure you were free the afternoon to attend his game. Of course, you didn’t tell him that.

In an instant, his serious gaze broke into an inviting smile as he mouthed the words “hey” at your direction. You smiled back, returning the greeting while you hoped no one caught that moment between the two of you.

His coach called for their attention to remind them of their game plan but Jungkook was having a battle in his mind. The image of you smiling at the bleachers stayed as he tried to listen to his coach’s words. He knew the game plan, he was always on top the game. But seeing you watching him from the bleachers made him feel giddy but at least he also motivated him to do extra well. He wanted to look good in front of you.

And that’s exactly what he did.

He sent you text to wait for him to freshen up and you sat at your spot, enjoying the breeze as you waited for him to come back from his shower.

“You actually came.”

You looked up from your phone to see a wet-haired Jungkook approaching you with a lopsided grin. “Wanted to give support especially after all the times you sent me home after practice.”

Your phone vibrated as Jimin spammed you with messages when you stopped replying. Jimin had been asking about your whereabouts and you told him you were at the rugby game. He was upset since he would have tagged along to watch Yoongi if he knew you were going.

“Where’s Yoongi?”

Jungkook gestured with his thumb behind him, “Still showering. Is Jimin here?”

You chuckled, shaking your head, “He didn’t know I was coming to watch. I think he’ll attack me later at the party.”

“Sounds like a fun match to see.” He joked and you scoffed, “I’ll beat Jimin easily.”

“I’m sure, I’ll always be rooting for you.”

It sounded like another tease but his words caused nervous knots in your stomach. You deliberately ignored the feeling as you walked down the bleachers to his side, “Shall we get Yoongi and Jimin?”

“Yep, text me his address. We’ll pick him up once Yoongi is ready to go.”

Get ready, Jungkook’s picking you up - yn

I already look good, always ready - Jimin

Yoongi didn’t take long to come out of the showers and the three of you made your way in Jungkook’s car to pick Jimin up, all ready for the after party.

“I haven’t had dinner so I am ready for all the food.” Jimin groaned, clutching his stomach as he hopped off the car.

The four of you made your way up the driveway to see that the after party had started even earlier. “Looks like everyone couldn’t wait to party.” Yoongi commented as you entered through the main door, the loud typical party music blasting through the house.

It wasn’t a very packed party, lesser than the usual after parties but still plenty of people nonetheless.

There were already different groups engaging in different activities - gossiping, flirting, beer pong, truth or dare, Mario Kart and many more.

“Yn, you hungry? I heard Woohyun baked pasta for tonight.” Yoongi gestured to the kitchen. Before you could reply, Jungkook added on, “Someone’s barbecuing in the backyard though.”

“Barbecue?” You repeated, “Sounds delicious.” You turned your head back to Yoongi, “I’ll follow you guys after!”

Yoongi and Jimin made their way to the kitchen while you and Jungkook headed over to start your night with barbecue.

At the backyard, there was a swimming pool with a small lawn where the barbecue was. The two of you made your way to the table with the cooked food, helping yourself to dinner.

“This tastes amazing.” You moaned in delight after the first bite.

Jungkook laughed, “Come on,” He took an empty plate and grabbed a handful of barbecue sticks and kebabs, leading the way to the other side of the pool with one empty lounge chair.

You shared the plastic lounge chair, sitting beside Jungkook as you shared the plate. “So, how was my game?”

“To be honest,” You cleared your throat, “More interesting now that I know the game.”

He grinned like a happy high school boy, “That’s great to hear! Maybe you can watch more of my games or practices when you have the time.”

“We’ll see about that.” You teased, grabbing another stick to feed yourself.

“So, how’s your prep for nationals?”

“Tiring, one of our flyers got a concussion after a bad fall last night so she’s temporarily replaced. Our pyramid’s a mess.”

Jungkook lightly nudged your shoulders, “I’m sure it’ll turn out well. You guys are the defending champions.”

“I hope we can defend it this season.”

“Gotta think positively.” He winked at you and you returned a small smile. Silence fell upon you two as you noticed the lack of personal space between the both of you. It felt comfortable yet nerve-racking to be so close to him.

Was he uncomfortable with the closeness? Should you move away?

Just as you were about to scoot away, he spoke. “I’m really glad you came to my match tonight. It felt different.” He admitted rather shyly as his gaze dropped to the half empty plate.

“Different?”

Jungkook nodded his head, “Felt nice knowing there’s someone out there rooting for me.”

“There were lots of people rooting out for you.”

“Yea but, someone out there that I really want to impress.”

You didn’t have a reply, you weren’t sure how to reply. You decided to opt for a small encouraging pat on his shoulder before retracting your hand.

It didn’t seem much from an outsider’s perspective, but his words held a lot of weight. For the both of you. Almost as if you were about to cross a line - some line that you weren’t sure if you’re both ready to cross.

“Well,” He cleared his throat, standing up, “Shall we go find the two?”

“S-Sure.”

The two of you entered through the back door and was immediately blocked by his fellow team player, handing both of you a bottle of soju. “Gotta help us finish these, Jeon. Someone,” his eyes darted to another team player, “Accidentally ordered twice our usual order.”

“Damn.” Jungkook laughed in disbelief, “I’ll pull my weight then.”

“Great! You know what’s a perfect game for that? Spin the Bottle! You guys wanna play?”

Jungkook’s gaze darted to yours as you hesitated to reply.

“Come on Jeon, you always reject our games. Just this once, yea?”

He sighed, “A-Alright sure. Yn?”

You shook your head, “I’ll pass. Go have fun.” You patted his back as you excused yourself to the kitchen. There was a sour feeling knowing that Jungkook agreed to play Spin the Bottle, you avoided looking at the circle at the living area as you went to find Yoongi and Jimin guarding the snacks.

“Where’s Jungkook?”

“Spin the Bottle.” You plopped yourself down beside Jimin, chugging the soju bottle in your hand.

“Someone sounds affected.” Jimin teased, handing you a plate of pasta.

“No one’s affected.” You defended yourself as you grabbed a fork to eat the pasta, ignoring the feeling in your chest.

You had almost completely forgotten about Spin the Bottle as the three of you went on to talk about other things. You were laughing and enjoying your night with the two until you heard the familiar voice that made your muscles freeze.

“Any pasta left for me?”

You turned to look at Jungkook, “Enjoyed the game?”

“Pretty interesting,” He started and you immediately wanted to shut his voice out, “But would’ve been fun if you were in the game.” He winked at you before he took a plate for himself, acting as if he hadn’t said those words. You saw the empty soju bottle that he placed on the counter top and figured it was the alcohol talking so you decided to brush it off. It was probably the alcohol making him say such a brave statement in front of your friends.

Would something have happened if you agreed to play the game?

—

You realised that maybe he did decide to be more brave.

He started sitting in the gymnasium to watch your practices. Jimin would always inform you when he spotted Jungkook, insisting that he was here to watch you. Though you constantly denied, because you knew he knew a few of you guys from all the parties.

Somehow, you always felt his eyes were locked on you - his attention never leaving you no matter how chaotic the mat got. Every fall, every success, every break. You just knew he was looking at you.

The first practice you realised he was there, you approached him after practice ended.

“Hey Jungkook!”

“Why are you here?”

“Am I that unwanted? Looks like only Jimin is glad to see me here.”

“N-No,” You were caught off-guard, “I was just wondering—“

“I know, I’m kidding.” Jungkook chuckled, getting up from the bench, hopping down to stand right in front of you. “You came to my game, and I want to come see your practices. I haven’t actually seen how serious cheer can be.”

You hummed, “Alright then.” You tossed your damp towel over your shoulder. Jungkook reached out, “Let me take your bag. I saw how tiring practice was.”

“Jungkook it’s fine—“

“And you fell from that pyramid a couple of times. You better ice that bruise.” He pointed to the bruise on your shin. You had gotten the bruise when you knocked it against one of your teammate’s foot when you had fallen off the pyramid.

He had successfully snatched your duffel bag when you were distracted by the bruise on your shin. “Jungkook—“

“Come on, let the guy be a gentleman.” Jimin nudged your sides and you shot a light glare his way. “I already booked a ride and it’s here so I’ll head home first. Text me when you’re home, yea?” Jimin patted your shoulder before jogging off.

During the ride home, Jungkook shared how in awe he was during your practice. “I felt that same way watching your game too.” You admitted.

“I’m definitely watching nationals with Yoongi.”

“You don’t have to—“

“But I want to! I’m coming.”

Over the weeks, you learned even more about Jungkook.

Firstly, Jungkook was a really thoughtful individual.

He also loved going the extra mile. You knew his rugby training schedule since he shared it before. So you knew he was watching your late night sessions after his tiring ones on some days, yet still sat through all the way.

He didn’t attend all practices, but he didn’t have to. You always appreciated the times he came to watch and you made it a point to watch his trainings as well when you had nothing on.

Secondly, Jungkook was one of the most hardworking and disciplined individuals that you have met.

Every footwork drill, punishment or endurance runs, he took it seriously. He always gave it his 110%. Even when you knew he was near his limit, he never slacked.

Thirdly, Jungkook was cute when he was in the zone.

His eyebrows always scrunched together, sometimes he would bite his lip for extra concentration. He would whisper to himself after his attempts or runs, possibly correcting himself or encouraging himself.

You knew he was his harshest critic. You could see it in his training etiquette.

From an athlete to another, Jungkook was a very respectable athlete - in both fitness and character.

Eventually, this became routine between the both of you. You would watch each other’s practices whenever you had the time. Jimin and Yoongi had gotten used to the scene as well.

Both would tease the both of you separately, “Look who’s here.”

“Shut up.” You both would say to them, trying to fight the smile that wanted to break through.

“You know, people will start thinking that we’re dating.”

“That wouldn’t be a bad thing, now would it?” Jungkook tilted his head, a cheeky grin on his face as he tossed you a cold unopened bottle of water. His reply sent your heart fluttering. He knew his way with words.

“It’ll kill your popularity with the public. Everyone will lose hope and stop pining after you.” You said dramatically after taking a big gulp of the refreshing water.

“Still don’t see how that’s a bad thing.”

“You know, you’re a real flirt Jeon Jungkook.”

He grinned cheekily, “Only when I want to.”

He definitely knew his way with words, and possibly, his way to your heart.

—

Jungkook started asking you out for lunch and dinner over the weeks, including the weekends. It was refreshing seeing you two not dripping in sweat from training. And he cleaned up well.

Although the rugby finals and cheer nationals were just around the corner, you both tried to find spare time to hang out. It felt like a stress-reliever. You both needed it. Jungkook knew he needed and wanted it. He always wanted to see you.

You were both at an open field, lying next to each other, bodies facing up as you enjoyed the night sky. Silence engulfed the both of you as you relished the tranquility of the night.

With hectic schedules, you appreciated times like this when you didn’t have to think about something so serious like competitions and expectations.

You were grateful that you made it to the Final 20 but it was still stressful knowing that there are high expectations for your team to defend your title.

It was the same for Jungkook.

“This feels great, doesn’t it?” He was the first to break the silence.

You turned just your head to admire his side profile as his eyes remained glue to the starry night.

“It does.”

Jungkook paused before continuing the conversation, “You know, I didn’t actually play Spin the Bottle that night. I just drank every time it was me, just wanted to please Woohyun.”

Confused, you weren’t sure why Jungkook had brought that up out of the blue. “Why are you—”

“I just wanted you to know. Felt like you had to know.” He shrugged his shoulders, pressing his lips into a tight line. “Didn’t want to send mix signals.”

“Mix signals?” You turned around, lying on top of your stomach as you got up on your forearms. You had a hunch of where this conversation was heading, but you didn’t like to be one making assumptions. Jungkook turned his head to face you, “I’m into you. I always like being with you and I hope you feel the same way.”

Nothing came out of your mouth. You were stunned by his sudden confession. Your eyes remained on his face as he kept a soft smile, with not a single ounce of regret on his face.

“I… I like being with you too.” You replied shyly, shuffling back down to lie down on your back next to him, not daring to make eye contact.

Next to you, Jungkook let out a short chuckle. He decided not to push it for that night. But it was enough to know that things were going right between the two of you.

“I never shared this with anyone but, sometimes, I do feel like quitting rugby.”

You were taken aback by his sudden change in topic but didn't to roll with it

“Why?”

He took a while to respond, formulating his thoughts into sentences. “The expectations get too much sometimes, especially as one of the labelled star players.” He scoffed, as if he was laughing at the term, or himself.

“I’m sure as the Final 20 in cheer you feel that expectation as well.”

You didn’t give a verbal reply, only nodding your head as you turned your head back to face up to the sky.

Jungkook didn’t need a verbal reply, he knew you felt the same.

“It’s suffocating. But right now, I feel like I can take a deep long breath, and not worry about making a mistake or slowing down.”

Just as he said that, he took a deep inhale, letting out his breath through is mouth.

“That felt good to let out. I never wanted to share this with others because I’m afraid they’ll think that I’m taking my position and skills for granted.”

“Yea I get what you’re saying.” You assured him and he smiled, turning his head to face you. You heard the shuffling sounds and you decided to face him as well, momentarily freezing when your eyes finally met his.

“But it feels like I can talk to you about anything. It feels nice to talk to you, yn.”

You were once again lost for words, feeling your cheeks grow hot as your eyes remained locked in his gaze.

“I feel safe with you.”

—

It was the final championship match for rugby. Your cheer team was once again there, to root for your college - you and Jimin were specifically rooting for Yoongi and Jungkook.

The whole venue was excruciatingly loud and tense. Both colleges with great support backing them. The match was very close and you could tell how they seemed more tired than other games. The nerves and the physical demand was getting to them.

Your coach yelled, calling their hands to get your attention. “Come on guys, time to boost their morale”

With your pom poms in your hands, your cheer team gathered, facing your side of the bleachers, enthusiastically cheering the campus cheers and getting the crowd to join in.

It was followed by simply stunts and routines to get the atmosphere more lively and ready for the game to resume.

As the players passed by your team, you all wished them good luck.

“Good luck, Yoongi!”

“Good luck, Jungkook!” You exclaimed encouragingly, shaking both your pom poms his way as he turned around to see you. He winked at you, mouthing the words ‘thank you’ before they made their way to the field.

“You’re drooling.”

Jimin’s voice taunted you from the side, You elbowed his side, “You’re doing the same.”

“Touche.”

As the timer reaches the end, your side erupted in the loudest of cheers, you happily screaming along with the crowd. This win felt different from all the different times your cheer team supported them. Your college managed to defend their title, winning the championship for the season.

When the players returned to the benches and huddled for a group photo together, Jimin whispered, “Why don’t you go up and congratulate him?”

“Hush, Jimin, not in front of everyone.”

“Come on, don’t be shy. I know you like him.”

“We’re just close friends.”

Jimin scoffed, his index finger pointing to you and himself, “You and I are close friends. You and Jungkook however, are idiots who don’t want to admit that you guys like each other.”

“Shut it!” You sighed, lightly hitting him with your pom poms. When you turned around, Jungkook had already made his way to you. “You were cheering really hard back there.”

“Just for you.”

Just for me?” He raised his eyebrows, a smug look on his face as he stepped closer, “Yoongi’s gonna be devastated knowing that—“

“Actually my cheers were for Yoongi but I didn’t want you to feel upset or forgotten.”

Jungkook frowned and you really wished you had the guts to just kiss him right there, your eyes flickering to his pink soft lips.

“I’m kidding, don’t cry, not when you just became a champion.”

Jungkook laughed heartily before leaning towards your ear, “I’m already a champion having you on my side to cheer me on.”

—

Attention immediately shifted to your team for the upcoming nationals which was just a week after Jungkook’s finals.

You guys had constant past few runs leading up to the final day and everything felt like it would go well. The biggest obstacle was controlling your mental state during the day itself.

The night before, Jungkook had sent you a lengthy good luck message as he reminded you that he would be there.

You slept peacefully that night and woke up to read his message in the morning once again. You had your own cheerleader this time.

Everything seemed to go by quickly, the warm ups and runs backstage while waiting for your team’s turn. You had not met Jungkook or Yoongi since you were preparing backstage with your team, focused on getting into the right mental state.

Your heart almost jumped out of your chest when it was finally your team’s turn to perform.

The sun was scorching hot and there were many spectators. You stood in formation with your teammates as you waited for the song to play.

It felt way different than last season. Even though you were there last season to support the performing team, it truly felt different to be the one about to perform on the mat. With all eyes on you, carefully watching for any mistakes or mishaps. The heat already making you sweat when you stepped onto the stage.

But once the music played, that was all you could focus on.

Bright smiles plastered on all your faces as you went through the routine. A silent celebration in your head every time your team successfully pulled off a stunt.

Quick gazes made on the mat as you constantly changed formation. Encouraging looks and the sounds of the encouragement on the mat from your teammates to get you through the routine.

And just like that - it was your ending pose. Heavy pants surrounding you as your gaze locked on the audience. You all broke character afterwards, squealing and hugging each other for not screwing up the pyramid and the routine.

It felt good.

In fact, it felt amazing.

Jimin yelled your name, pulling you in for a tight hug, “We did it!”

“I know!”

Once all the teams had finished, the top 2 teams were announced and your college name was called out.

In front of the entire crowd, you hold intertwined your hands, head hung low and eyes shut right as you awaited for the results. The cheerleader holding the 2nd prize trophy walked back and forth between the two college teams as the announcer evilly drags on the result.

Your heartbeat was pounding loudly and you could feel it in your head, all your hands clasped together were clammy from nervous sweat.

Jungkook’s hopefully eyes stayed locked on your figure as he waited for announcements from the crowd.

The other college was called and your entre team’s knees went weak, buckling as some immediately fell to the ground.

Deafening screams erupted as you were pulled into a big group hug, you guys had just defended your title.

Your team was the reigning national champion once again.

Tears were falling as everyone congratuler each other. Your coach and assistant coach ran up to mat to join the group hug as your team proudly accepted the winning trophy.

You had made your way off the stag to reunite with the other cheer members as the public slowly started to approach you for a team photo.

With tears all over your faces, you posed for the group photos as thanked all your teammates with a big hug.

“Yn!”

You heard his voice amongst the chaos.

You felt yourself immediately searching for the familiar pair of eyes in the crowd. The moment your eyes landed on him, you rushed up towards him, his arms wide open ready to accept you.

Jungkook pulled you in for tight embrace, repeatedly saying “congrats, you did it, I know you guys would win”. Tears flowed down your face once again still not believing what had just happened.

It felt so surreal and yet being in Jungkook’s embrace felt even more surreal. It was as if you were in a dream.

“Congrats yn!” You heard Yoongi’s voice from behind Jungkook.

You pulled away to see not only Yoongi but the entire rugby team with him. They were cheering proudly, chanting your college’s name with pride. Your eyes immediately farted back to Jungkook who had kept his arms around you.

“Did you…?”

“Yes, I convinced everyone to come. They’d be missing on such a stellar performance.”

As if your grin couldn’t get any bigger, your broke into a euphoric laugh, “You’re amazing.”

“You’re calling me amazing? After what your team had just displayed back there? You must be blind—“

Maybe it was the adrenaline rush, the high influx of dopamine from winning the competition and from being in his embrace. It didn’t matter, when your lips met his, you knew that was all that mattered at that moment.

You felt Jungkook lean into the kiss, his arms pulling you closer to his body. Both of you could hear your cheer team behind you and Jungkook’s rugby team behind him, both cheering your names.

You guys laughed into the kiss when you heard Yoongi and Jimin loudly expressed their thoughts. “It’s about time.”

“I swear I thought they’ll never get to this stage.”

—

His bright and welcoming smile never failed to make your day, no matter how tired you were. You never thought that you’d love going for rugby practices and matches. It was the complete opposite scenario from the beginning of the year.

But now, it never got boring to watch your boyfriend get into his sport. You would always tell him that he looked attractive when he was serious. You enjoyed doing that because it always made him fluster and fumble over his words.

“I-I don’t… Nah… I don’t look cute when I’m serious.” He would adjust the neckline of his shirt, trying to maintain a nonchalant expression on his face.

“You’re finally done.” You made your way down the bleachers, “I’ve been thinking about dessert the past 30 minutes.”

Jungkook nodded his head, extending his arms out to pull you into a sweaty hug. He placed a light kiss on your forehead, pulling back slightly to get a better view of your face.

“Ice cream?”

Deja Vu.

You remembered the first night you hung out with Jungkook after meeting him at the after party. When you were at the bus stop ready to go home.

WIth a grin, you leaned in to kiss his soft lips lightly, “I’m down.”

[twiceinadream]

Twice React- Cockwarming Alpha S/O

Requested: Yup

Request: Can u do omega twice cockwarming for alpha reader 🧑🏾‍🦯

a/u: Hey, everyone! Long time no see, I’ve missed you all so much and I hope you can forgive me for being gone so long. My life has been insanely busy these last few weeks so I hope you enjoy the first thing I’ve written in nearly a month. I love you all and thank you so much for all the love and support! And remember to stream “Alcohol-free”!

Category: NSFW and Fluff

Nayeon

“Here!?”

Nayeon wouldn’t exactly call herself an “exhibitionist”, but then again, she couldn’t say she hated where this was going. You and your girlfriend had agreed to hold Twice’s weekly movie night at your apartment as the two of you spent all evening setting everything up for the girls. And it wasn’t until everyone was nearly ready to start did you pull Nayeon onto your lap and a blanket over her legs. She could feel your hardon through your pants as you snaked a hand between the two of you, pushing your pants and boxers down to let your erection breath. A challenging smile grew on your girlfriend’s lips as she moved her underwear to the side, letting you slip in as she sat back down. Stifling a moan as a jump scare jostled the both of you, making her sink further down onto your cock as she tried to maintain a neutral expression. Doing everything in her power to try and ignore the way your alpha-hood pulsed inside of her as she was forced to endure the next hour and a half filled with you.

Jeongyeon

“Stop moving.”

It had been a few weeks since you and your girlfriend had done anything spontaneous. Your mate just didn’t think it would also involve her members. Jeong bit her lip as the grip she had on your arm tightened even more as you made a show of getting up slightly to fix the blanket you had draped over you and your girlfriend. A playful smirk covered your face as Jeongyeon resisted the urge to hit you as the jostling you caused made her stifle a moan. Your cock nestled nicely inside of her as the rest of her members continued to watch the show playing on the tv. Blissfully unaware of the evil you were conducting on their second eldest Unnie.

Momo

“Y/N.”

Planning trips was hard and you had to commend Momo for all the work she did by herself. So you decided to pay her back the best way you could. A persistent blush covered the eldest Japanese woman’s face as she tried her hardest not to show any indication of what was going on as she moved onto your lap the first half hour into the flight. Ignoring the weird but mysteriously knowing look the flight attendant had given her when the plane had hit a bit of turbulence and she had to bite her finger to stifle the groan that threatened to spill out. You couldn’t help but chuckle lowly as Momo scowled, “Y/N, please.” You just shrugged before continuing to watch the movie that was playing on your phone. But after having you inside of her for the better part of an hour she had finally had enough as you rutted your hips into her. Finally bringing over the edge as she shuddered on top of you, silently releasing all over your lap before she slumped back into you. A cocky smile growing on your face as you whispered into your mate’s ear, “Welcome to the Mile High Club, Momoring.”

Sana

“Oh god…”

Sana couldn’t exactly remember what had caused you two to end up in this position but she found herself on her knees in the middle of the living room with a blindfold over her eyes. She could hear you unzip your pants as the strong scent of your alpha-hood greeted her nose as you placed the tip of your cock to her lips. The corners of her lips curled up into a small smile as you pushed into her mouth. Her tongue rubbed along the underside of your shaft as Sana made a move to bob her head forward, but you stopped her with a hand threaded lightly into her hair, “Not yet, baby.” You could see her eyebrows knit together in confusion as you just kept yourself there, and as time passed you could sense your mate’s neediness as her fists furled and unfurled repeatedly against her thighs. You finally had enough of your own self restraint as you jogged your hips forward. Sana met you halfway as one of her hands came up to play with your balls while she took you down to the root, enjoying the feeling of you shallowly fucking her throat as the hand in her hair tensed as you came.

Jihyo

“Patience Jagiya.”

It wasn’t necessarily Jihyo’s fault she had been so busy these past few weeks, she and her members had a comeback to prepare for and all. But that also didn’t mean you were exactly an angel either. This whole thing started out innocently, it went from your girlfriend sitting next to you on the couch, to her hand on your thigh, then somewhere after that you found yourself buried inside the tight walls of your mate’s heat as she peacefully read a book while perched on top of you. You could feel her clench and unclench around you, testing you, you hated it. Your hands were practically fisting the couch cushions as she continued to rock her hips ever so slowly. You could tell Jihyo was enjoying every second of her sadistic teasing as you whimpered into her ear, “Baby, please.” She just shook her head, “No, you were bad and brats get punished.” You let out a scoff that was cut off by the high pitched moan you let out as she dropped into your lap, making your cock dribble some cum inside of her. “You’re mean.” Jihyo just smiled as she got off you, your hard cock glistening and throbbing in the cool air of the room. “And you’re a brat.”

Mina

“Don’t even think about it.”

Mina was okay with letting you have control. But sometimes when she wanted something, she was gonna get it. Labored breathing filled the bedroom as you collapsed on top of Mina, a satisfied smile on both of your faces as she trailed her fingers along your back. Drawing meaningless circles across your shoulder blades as she felt you soften side of her, you made a move to pull out but your mate stopped you as she suddenly flipped your guy’s positions so that she had you pinned beneath her. A look of surprise on your face as Mina sat up on your lap, “Don't move.” You raised an eyebrow in confusion before she began gyrating her hips, a shocked gasp leaving your mouth as you made a move to stop her. “W..wait.” But the Japanese woman simply ignored you as she could feel you attempt to get hard again, “I said, ‘Don’t move.’.” You whimpered as you could feel yourself growing to a second climax, a pained moan leaving you as you weakly came inside of your girlfriend. A pleased smile grew on her face as she kissed your nose, “Goodnight, Y/N.” She laid back down on top of you, your cock still inside of her as you shrugged, ‘Tomorrow morning should be fun.’

Dahyun

“What if someone sees?”

Going to the beach on a hot summer day was a good idea. Or so Dahyun thought it was. The two of you had arrived early enough to find a small secluded spot on the far side of the beach that was blocked by a small cliff, leaving the two of you in your own little world as you held Dahyun to your front as she peacefully read her book. You spent the last two hours placing kisses along her neck and your hands inching closer to the inside of her thighs, and you could tell your actions were starting to affect her by the way her thighs were rubbing together and her scent was building. A frustrated groan leaving your mate as she threw down her book, “What do you want Y/N!?” You smiled coyly, “I just wanted to see if you wanted to have a little fun?” Your girlfriend’s eyebrow raised in interest, “What did you have in mind?” Dahyun was now filled to the brim with your cock as you had her sit back against your chest, her breath stuck in her throat as she tried to stay as still as possible, “By ‘fun’ I didn’t think you’d mean this.” You smiled coyly, “Well, what did you think I’d suggest?” She shrugged, “I don’t know, Marco Polo?” You let out a laugh that made you bounce slightly, causing Dahyun to rock on your hips as she let out a squeal. “Oh god.” You sat back as your hips finally stilled, “There’s more where that came from. We have all afternoon, Dahyunnie.”

Chaeyoung

“Kinky.” (I slightly apologize for the amount of puns in this)

Chaeyoung was always done for a little exploration. She just wasn’t expecting it on a train to Busan. The two of you were on a midnight train and things were quite monotonous in a train car all alone together, so the two of you decided to spice it up. It didn’t take long for one thing to lead to another as Chaeyoung was lowering herself onto you, her ass stretching to accommodate the small amount of discomfort you caused as she sat flush on your lap. And that’s all the two of you did for the majority of the time until your girlfriend began to get squirmy on top of you, her anal walls clenching around you when you decided it was time to give her what she wanted. Ensuring that no one else was around you bent your girlfriend over the train seat as you railed her into the padding. Your combined moans filling the train car as you bottomed out inside of her and came, your reached a hand around to play with her clit as you felt her walls contract around you again. Content sighs leaving your lips as you sat back into the seats.

Tzuyu

“Hush.”

It was understatement to say that nine people alone wasn’t a lot of people. But it wasn’t enough that Tzuyu had to sit on your lap to “make room” in the jacuzzi. It had happened so fast that you barely registered what your girlfriend had done as she innocently sat onto your lap. Only it wasn’t so innocent since she had freed your alpha-hood from your bathing suit and pushed the bottom of her bathing suit aside and took you inside of her. Your breath caught in your throat as Tzuyu grinded down into you ever so slightly as your hands flew to her hips, trying your best to resist the urge to take her then and there. But you held back as you continued your conversation with Jeongyeon and Momo about new cafés opening up around the city. You almost forgot you were a cock deep inside your mate as she began moving up and down suddenly to splash Nayeon and Chaeyoung who were opposite her, making you grip on her hips tighten as you felt the knot inside your stomach come undone as you suddenly came inside of her. A surprised look took over both of your faces as she turned around to stare at you in disbelief. A dark blush covered your cheeks as you buried your face into the back of her hair, Tzuyu was totally gonna make you pay for that later.

[radioactivepeasant]

Fic Prompts: Star Wars Wednesday

(This is an excerpt from my unfinished but fully outlined Reign of Vader fic, in which Darth Vader assassinates Palpatine and then finds out that unfortunately this means he actually has to rule. After Luke is captured by the Empire, Vader reveals both his heritage and a desire to fix things in the galaxy. Luke is wary, but it's not like he has anywhere to go)

Darth Vader was not a man of infinite patience, and the Ruling Council was growing ever nearer to discovering the limits of his tolerance. 

"Day-to-day procedures are a delicate matter, Majesty," Greejatus was saying, "It would be an unprecedented disaster to force change upon all offices all at once. May I recommend a gradual shift as your reign takes root?"

"Yes yes," Sate Pesage agreed. His eyes glittered out of his gaunt face with ambition. "This proposal to outlaw slavery, for instance-"

"-Is non-negotiable," Vader interrupted. "It was an idiot's decision to legalize it in the first place. My empire will have no need of slave labor."

"Of course!" Pesage bowed. He was beginning to sweat under that ridiculous hat of his. "We are eager to begin this journey into the future your reign promises, Majesty. But the galaxy is vast. Perhaps it is best to...phase the law in slowly? It takes time to bring new ordinances all the way to the Outer Rim."

Vader had heard quite enough for one day. 

"Enough. The decree goes into effect tonight." 

He stood, and all five members of the Council jumped a little. 

"You have until then to review the revised legal codes I have provided for you."

[[MORE]]

With a sardonic lilt to his voice, he added, "The rule of the Grand Vizier through the Moffs has ended, gentlemen. If you do not feel that you are adequately prepared for the task ahead, I will accept your resignation and begin the process of finding your successor."

He waved a hand. "In the next week, we begin hearings for the Alderaanian Massacre. You are dismissed."

There was a certain satisfaction in watching Palpatine's five advisers bowing and trembling on their way out. After decades of putting up with their snide comments and inane commands, it was nice to see the shoe on the other foot for a change.

Of course, they hadn't covered much. Just an overview of what the Imperial Ruling Council actually did. Once Vader mentioned that he intended to sell his secondary residence in the district and distribute the funds as reparations, the meeting had devolved into excuses and protests for the next two hours. Luckily, he was far too stubborn to pay any attention to their complaints.

While he had no strong feelings about most of his actions in the last nineteen years, neither hatred nor regret, he was willing to acknowledge that not all of his targets had been legitimate in a military sense. For Padme's sake, he would make amends if possible. 

Naturally, it was uncomfortable to try putting a price on life. But the sale of that ridiculous "castle" Palpatine insisted on him staying in would provide a good starting place.

It took about fifteen minutes of calculating, but ultimately Vader decided there was more than enough in Palpatine's personal accounts to cover about 17,000 wrongful death settlements, with additional funds in the cases of recurring medical bills. 

Arranging reparations for Alderaan would take more work. Vader quickly decided he was going to delegate that to the department of finances.

(They...did have a department of finances, didn't they? Surely Sidious hadn't done his own bookkeeping.)

With that settled, Vader's itinerary consisted primarily of a meeting with the Hands to make sure they knew their boundaries. After that, a remote consultation with a newly-renowned surgeon living in one of the lower districts. It would, unfortunately, take up the majority of the day. But for now, at least, he had two hours to himself.

The emperor closed his eyes and stretched out with his senses. It took several seconds before he was able to pinpoint his son's location. Luke's presence was dimmed, slightly. Muffled.

The reason for this became apparent the moment Vader found him.

Inside the library, on the lower level, Luke was sprawled across one of the ridiculous armchairs the nobles had favored. A book lay open on his chest, rising and falling gently. A small stack of texts encompassing everything from speeder repair to adventure novels sat on the floor, just next to where one of Luke's hands dangled off the edge of the arm rest. Clearly, he had been in the library for several hours before falling asleep. 

Sleep had softened the boy's features, painting him in a far more vulnerable light. The fear and caution of the previous night had been wiped away, leaving someone who seemed far too young, and far too small. How could he be twenty? How could Padme's baby already be twenty? 

It was tempting to leave him there. To let him sleep. But the chair was not the most supportive frame, nor was the library the most secure chamber of the palace. Reluctantly, Vader bent to touch Luke's cheek. 

"Luke," he said quietly, "This is hardly an appropriate place to sleep."

Luke's eyelids fluttered, but he did not fully awaken at once. Carefully, ever so carefully, Vader took hold of Luke's shoulders and guided him back into an upright position. 

"Your spine will thank me later," he said. 

Luke shifted, then opened his eyes with a groan. He didn’t seem to register Vader’s presence at first. One arm stretched up over his head, and the other came up to rub at his eyes.

“What time is it?” he yawned.

“Nearly noon,” answered Vader. The meeting with the Council had taken far longer than he would’ve liked. “Are you hungry?”

With a garbled sound, Luke waved a hand from side to side. “Don’t know yet?” he said in a still sleep-slurred voice.

After a few more seconds, he finally noticed just who had woken him. Instinctively, he straightened his spine, and looked a little bit nervous.

“Oh,” he said, very quietly. “H-hello, Father.”

“Hello, son.” Vader sounded amused. “Was your choice of reading that dull?”

After a moment, Luke nodded. He made a face. "I know there's supposed to be a famous musical made from this or something. But a whole chapter on how the sewer system of Ryloth's capital city works doesn't seem like good song material."

He jumped when Vader laughed. It was a warm, rich sound, utterly at odds with his austere appearance. 

"Poor boy!" He gently took the book from his son. "That was required reading for our literature studies when I was a boy. I loathed it. Very few of my peers sought it out voluntarily."

"I guess I can see why," Luke admitted. "But it seemed like it was going to be a good story."

"Then you are better served finding an abridged copy, I think," Vader chuckled. "Come. You should eat something."

Luke pushed himself up out of the chair. “Do I...need to put the books back?”

Vader leaned back on his heels. He looked at the books, then at the shelves. “I...will leave that to your best judgement. I do not know where you got them from.”

It was such a normal sounding conversation! Why?! 

Why did you have to be like...like this?! Luke fought a surprising burst of frustration. I have no idea how to talk to you! 

Serious and formal one moment, then laughing the next? Vader? Laughing?! It was as if the man he’d met on Cymoon and the man idly examining his stack of books were two completely different people.

Luke set the books on the console with the Holonet terminal eventually. Vader had suggested that he learn the cataloguing system of the room at a later time. At least that seemed to mean that he would be allowed to go back to the library again. Luke thought about his conversation with Artoo. Perhaps his father was trying to be kind to him. Whether that kindness would extend to anyone else was a different matter.

“I thought you were still meeting with dignitaries or something,” Luke said.

He trailed along behind Vader up an ornate staircase with his hands in his pockets. He was still uncomfortable walking too closely to the man. For all that he acknowledged that the new emperor was, indeed, his father, he was still a force to be reckoned with. 

Luke took a moment to internally groan at his unintended pun. Han would probably have elbowed him in the ribs for saying something like that. Chewie would think it was hilarious. 

Luke’s attempt to stay safely out of range failed quite suddenly. Vader deliberately slowed his steps so that Luke couldn’t hang back without being extremely obvious about it. He didn’t want to offend the emperor, so he tried to ignore his fight or flight instincts shaking his insides and kept pace with his father.

“I have several more meetings to endure today,” Vader said casually. “But the most onerous of those has been dealt with.”

This was not quite true. The Ruling Council was too full of Palpatine loyalists. Just intimidating them into compliance would only work for so long. They had connections, and they had money, and that could prove to be a headache if not dealt with sooner. Vader needed to replace at least three of them.

He had almost considered appointing Luke as Vizier in Amedda’s place, but had quickly thought better of it. Such a position would almost guarantee that Luke would never have time to fly again. Cutting a Skywalker off from the stars for good seemed too cruel. 

His son had not had the childhood he could have had if his mother had lived. If Palpatine had died much sooner. Let him enjoy his youth while he could.

But the problem of finding a Ruling Council that Vader could trust would still be waiting.

“The stupid hat club, right?” Luke asked.

He was unsettled by Vader’s proximity. Vader could sense that. He understood: the armor had been made to terrify. Perhaps one day he would have the option of seeing his son with his own eyes, but for now the boy would have to acclimate himself to the sight.

It was not often that Vader found himself cursing the cold, impersonal nature of his mask. He would have liked to smile at his son.

“Yes. The...stupid hat club.” He settled for letting his amusement be clearly heard in his voice. “That is not an inaccurate description. They run the day-to-day matters of ruling an Empire. But as they were all close to the former ruler, I find that I’d rather not trust them in matters of delegating governance.”

Luke grimaced. “That doesn’t sound like a good idea,” he agreed.