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i've been very busy because working is impossible so i'm officially self-employing. I've had these stickers sitting, hand-cut, for a while. i have some old overwatch ones i might put up too but i'm not sure - either way i'm hoping to get some change for these so i can get more supplies now that i have a cutting machine that works!

currently all my lesbian themed and hand cut stickers are being cleared out, and they will never be sold again!! i'm still experimenting with materials and overlays but these are from last year, mostly. (the flowers are fresh though and i'm excited to do more of those, i love how they came out.

pass this around if you can and thank you for the help getting it out there for me :)

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aleks is very comfy having her breasts out but doesn't always like to take off her boxer briefs..... and that's because they're made with the most comfortable, moisture-wicking, 100% organic hemp, making them the number one brand of undergarments for big and tall women. Dike™. Just Do Her™. 

lena and aleks (nsfw)

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(fish noises)

i'm on a quest to draw one thing a day whether i finish it or not. also i've been trying a fresh technique and seeing my style in high resolution is cool

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fuck it i'm gonna vent about did too

i was looking back at old posts of mine and this used to be a blog i shared with a couple of other alters, so seeing "myself" say things like "oof bb! heehee" or posting art that i supposedly drew is trippy. (my pathetic attempts to explain why i felt so weird before being diagnosed are funny. i used to tell people i was a ripped mermaid hamster, wow)

i noticed i have a post where i actually explained my pmdd and pointed out i don't remember my luteal phases and that's pretty fucking true. even though i can't remember them, i still feel the symptoms. it's like... i have muscle memory for playing overwatch, right? it's kind of like that? i have a sense that i know what happened and how it made me feel, because the alter who goes through it tends to be rosie or the host. (i dissociate my emotions, so i'm pretty flat most of the time.)

even if i'm here during pmdd time, it feels like i'm helplessly observing as someone else suffers through it. but what they do doesn't stick with me, the memory goes away like waking up from a dream. at this point i'm trying to get used to it because if i overthink it i get anxiety.

the walls dividing my parts are so thick, and self-helping doesn't work, so i've gone from trying to actually "monitor" things and find solutions to apathetically trying to adapt. it's no use, i have none of the control i thought i had. there's no normalcy for someone who was never normal; there is just adapting to survive.

my mind used dissociation for so long to cope with things, trying to undo that just seems pointless. i don't even know what it's like not to be this way, so why stress myself out fixing something that i never felt to be broken just for everyone else?

i feel like this past week, after the extreme suicidal ideation we fought off, something just clicked in my mind: one day those thoughts are gonna win, and neither i, nor the rest of me, nor anyone outside of me, can help that. it's just in the cards, and fighting it is futile. if i spend time stressing over when it'll happen, i won't fucking use that time efficiently.

and so i've been coming to terms with that, trying to stay away from rosie. because if i'm not plaguing her mind with my bullshit, she creates things. i am not here to enable her creativity, i'm here to be her logistical side. i'm too hypervigilant, too focused on coping with things by dissociating, and that stops her because i'm so worried about how we would be taken if we express our true selves.

obviously rosie means everything to me and i truly feel like she's my soulmate. but i suddenly just have this insight into how i function and behave that broke me down so hard, i'm still not fully recovered. maybe this is what splitting feels like, or what it's like to be able to think outside of my internal self. who knows, i sure fucking don't. nothing i thought i knew is as valid as it seemed.

i guess realizing that i need to stop fighting my fate and embrace it really messed me up and got me questioning a lot of things i thought i knew for sure. but i love it when rosie creates, and i love when she's fulfilled, and i love her. but i haven't been practicing that love very well and if she sees this, i just hope she forgives me for stealing so much time from her and wasting it.

if i keep going i'll waste more time. so i'm gonna end it here and go make coffee so my better half can work on her next idea.

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the source of my new pfp

my girl be reppin' orange i be reppin' that pink we've got that woman-loving energy what the fuck do you think? when you see two ladies like us at each other's side, you're looking at a living specimen of lesbian pride.

--"orange and pink", big butch (2009)

lena and aleks (nsfw)

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just pmdd things 2

just as you're coming out of your funk from the previous month and finally feel like you're getting shit done, you feel the familiar, dull sting of ovulation, signaling that you now have a good day or two left before you're tossed right back into hell

if you're lucky, you get a week. but you're not typically very lucky.

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ofelia, my four eared, four eyed, transsexual people-eater-- wait i mean catgirl sorry catgirl

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lil' clit and her wife, big butch, are based on the mid-late 2000s new york rap scene (even though lil' clit appears to fake a british accent in her songs for some reason).

also those songs exist, that isn't a bit

lil' clit, lena's rapsona.

the album version was warped a little for a fisheye effect. it contains hit tracks such as "rap siren", "maccy's (anything but fish)", and the triple platinum megahit "ginger latina"

lena x aleks (nsfw)

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ah, love

there is an au where lena kills aleks (as mermaids tend to do in folklore), so there must be one where aleks eats lena for dinner after catching her on a fishing trip.... duh

lena x aleks (nsfw)

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lost my job very suddenly and could use help even if it's just a few bucks. act now and get cute stickers. (or you can just donate on kofi if you like!)

i/we want to sell stickers more regularly so this is a limited edition run of unique/hand made stickers. in the future they will be ordered from somewhere that will provide consistent end results. these are mixed bags of stickers and everyone will get a different set of stickers that vary in style.

i'm struggling right now and my birthday is on thursday the 5th so you should totally help me out. as a birthday gift.

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i've been addicted to fishdom... i don't know what that says about me, but it probably says something. and i think i'd hate it if i knew

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"oh bloody 'ell, al. you've done a right numba ron me neck, you 'ave." [aleks whips out concealer] "remember the time we went to sephora for a date?" "...you clever bird... i should've known"

lena and aleks (nsfw)

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time for brekkyyyy

lena and aleks (nsfw)

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Russian Easter 2023

(finally finished in july 2024)

i didn't think it was right to do new stories before finishing this one. better late than never!

(i tried posting this in the community i made but i can't reblog from there, rude)

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i love michael

this is my spood trying to grab a bead of water i accidentally sprayed on his head.

also, i drew him

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ofelia makes a great cat...fish...catgirl mermaid. she's sitting on a sea urchin shell. nothing is to scale in this...

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deviantart shows 'similar/related art' and clearly thinks sea-aleks is a merman. PFFFf

aleks is usually a sea captain but what if she was a mermaid tooooo?? she would be princess lena's escort/personal guard, probably. with a trident.

and she would be ripped (here is one where she's all battle scarred like you'd expect a butch shark woman to be)