#and so i wanted to make a design that i felt reflected the current me

[catastrothy]

what prompted the rebrand?

if i don't change everything about my appearance at least once a year i go crazy

[lilliangst]

biblically accurate, semi-realistic candace or kandake, who was a nubian queen

image renders:

Incoming yap about the current genshin problem:

As a Chinese person swarmed by western media, Liyue means so, so much to me. Seeing the culture that I've been taught to be ashamed of all my life being represented so accurately and positively makes me incredibly happy. It was the first time I saw the famous landscapes that I've visited in person and recreated a fantasy game. Seeing characters wear clothes with similar designs to what I’ve worn and eating similar foods to what I’ve eaten, is indescribable. The euphoria I felt when I first climbed atop of Qingyun Peak and heard the music is something I wish I could experience again.

That being said, Sumeru was a mess, and Natlan is just depressing. What I would give to have people from SEA/SWANA, Latin America, Africa, and Indigenous groups etc. to feel the same way I did when strolling through Liyue.

HYV’s colorism isn’t just stifling their character designs; by whitewashing real-life people, real cultures and even their deities, they are inadvertently whitewashing history. They are taking from actual ethnic groups: learning their history and struggles, then retelling these narratives after replacing their people with bleached protagonists in orientalist clothing.

All this because of what? Out of touch beauty standards? The possibility of lower sales? Dehya is extremely loved in China and her fans donated thousands to a children’s charity in her name. Other Chinese companies like Lilith Games and Bluepoch don’t have this problem. Dislyte is able to consistently pump out gorgeous character designs with varying skin tones and Reverse:1999 makes accurate designs and does in-depth research into the cultures of their characters.

It’s a basic lack of respect.

I've heard that Iranian players were extremely happy and touched by their representation, and that's amazing. And most European, Chinese, and Japanese players are fine with theirs. I just wish this extended to the representation of people with skin tones that are darker.

HYV has shown that they are capable of making characters with darker skin tones and interesting designs, but they will only do that for npcs and enemies. Orientalism, culture mash-ups and inaccuracies across regions is unfortunately common in the game, but the problem with the unchanging pale color of playable characters reflects an obvious and sinister bigotry. I do personally believe that a lot of this has to do with the meddling of higher-ups; many playable characters look like they’ve been white-washed at the end of the process, and just from an art/design standpoint, they fit darker skin-tones much, much better.

It is impossible for Genshin to be a fully “fictional fantasy game” because they chose to bear the responsibility of incorporating real life cultures into their world-building. The criticisms about Sumeru and Natlan are what they brought upon themselves. If you don’t want to represent properly, don’t do it at all. You cannot take everything from a culture and leave their people out of it. They deserve the same respect and research as the region representing your own nation.

For the people who have seen themselves represented in media over and over again, or for those who do not care about being represented at all: even if YOU don't care, others do, and they have a damn good reason for it. This is a big deal, it isn’t too much to ask for, and I will be blocking racists. Peace.

[lovingseventeen]

matchy-matchy with seventeen

a/n: me in my single era pt 2093520395 and here’s me projecting just a little bit yk. also i tried really hard to make these creative i hope it went well

seungcheol: jackets

✧ specifically varsity jackets or those racing jackets

✧ maybe not exactly the same, maybe it’s the same style of jacket but in different, but complementary colors

✧ absolutely loves knowing that it’s so easy to tell that the two of you are a couple when you walk together

✧ his lock screen is a mirror picture of the two of you :’)

jeonghan: hair accessories

✧ matching hair accessories oh myyy

✧ it could be in simple barrettes or clips with little cutesy designs

✧ or ribbons !!

✧ one day he sees you tie back half of your hair (like a semi-updo) and he just asks you, “can you do that to me too?”

✧ you two can be dainty together 🫶🏽

joshua: rings

✧ perhaps he’s a simple romantic

✧ rings can go with any outfit and he wants a reminder with you everywhere he goes

✧ loves seeing his ring on his finger in all of his daily activities

✧ also loves to hold your hand to look at the ring on your finger only to follow with a soft kiss to the back of your hand too

jun: earrings

✧ maybe he’s a little more subtle with it

✧ but he finds earrings as an easy way to be connected with you, knowing you have the same pair

✧ all that matters to him is that it’s something that the two of you know about - and maybe others if they’re paying attention

hoshi: tiger phone cases

✧ ofc you support his tiger agenda and one day he just surprises you with matching tiger print phone cases

✧ falls a little more in love with you when you don’t hesitate to swap your current case with it LOL

✧ loves taking mirror selfies where you can see your cases and as the two of you make the tiger claw hand gesture

✧ if you’re with literally anyone else together, he’ll just grab both of your phones to go “look!”

wonwoo: headphones

✧ thought of this because he games but headphones are also pretty necessary in general

✧ you each pick sticker packs and you place some stickers on your own pair

✧ then you swap headphones and fill up the rest of the negative space of each other’s :’)

woozi: pajamas

✧ he’s someone who’s also very lowkey methinks

✧ he doesn’t feel the need to flaunt his relationship too much, or go out on his rest days either

✧ he likes the moments you have just between the two of you and pajamas are a cute way to still have that

✧ whether you’re cuddling on the couch or just walking around the house, his heart is content seeing your matching home outfits

seokmin: shoes

✧ just felt like this would be soooo cute with him

✧ it gives you both freedom with your outfits and individual styles but anyone looking at you two together would know that you’re dating

✧ he love love loves taking those pictures of your matching shoes

✧ maybe he even takes a short video for his story and you can tell he’s happy in it because he can’t stop his feet from doing a little dancey dance

mingyu: hoodies

✧ adores seeing the two of you matching so obviously in the reflection of windows, mirrors, etc. when the two of you are out

✧ takes so so many pictures of you two

✧ you definitely have more than one matching hoodie

✧ will fall in love with you more if matching couple clothes was your idea first LOL

minghao: nails

✧ i had to, i HAD TO, just imagine the two of you with the prettiest hands ever

✧ maybe he lets you pick a color first and then he’ll pick a second to complement it aaa

✧ and even if you aren’t too much of a nail person, maybe you just get one nail painted with a little image or design to match the color scheme of his

✧ also imagine the intimacy of painting each other’s nails and he’s holding your hand close to his face and blowing on your nails to dry them

seungkwan: bracelets

✧ the two of you make your matching bracelets at one of those shops meant for dates

✧ i just know he would try so hard !! to make yours so pretty

✧ his heart ACHES when you find these 2 bear charms to represent the two of you (so you can have a little bear of each other)

✧ “this one’s me and this one’s you, don’t you think?”

vernon: beanies

✧ he’s always giving you his beanies when it’s cold out anyway

✧ then on this day he’s shopping and he can’t pick between 2 options (they’re both the same 2 colors but in different combinations)

✧ vernon just gets both and lets you pick the one you like more

✧ he knows you’ll look good in either one :)

chan: crewneck/hoodie-sweatpants-set

✧ this is various things but here me out, he’s a dancer and he probably has a good amount of athleisure

✧ sometimes you visit him during his solo dance practices and he likes to try to convince you to dance with him

✧ one day you stopped by without the intention to dance and he just casually pulls out the set for you that coincidentally matched with his

✧ he’s so giddy when you change. so so many recordings of you dancing together (regardless of how coordinated the two of you actually are) and mirror selfies to capture your outfits

[oldmanjenkins985]

So, I wanted to talk about something since MD Twitter in particular seems to be having some issues with a current trend in the MD fandom. That being the Panic AU by @candyasbestos (apologies in advance for the ping, just felt like maybe you'd wanna see this)

So I'd like to start right off the bat by saying anyone who is uncomfortable with this AU is completely reasonable for being that way. It's more so that uncomfortableness leading to disdain for the AU that I wanna talk about.

So, I'm a horror fan. I watch plenty of things on horror movies and play plenty of horror games. And what exactly does horror media try and do? Make the player horrified and uncomfortable. Seeing grotesque imagery which may make you wanna vomit. One of the games that comes to mind for something that's definitely meant to make people uncomfortable and not just scared is Fear & Hunger. It's a game with incredibly uncomfortable imagery, sometimes due to gore and other times due to sexual themes. And it's perfectly reasonable for that to turn people off, yet I've never seen anyone have the kind of reaction to stuff like that compared to the reactions some people have had to the Panic AU

And that's the thing with the Panic AU, it makes *N* uncomfortable. Uncomfortable with himself due to Nyx's influence on him. That is the entire point of the AU it seems. And Nyx himself seems to be some kind of representation of mental illness (pretty standard horror trope, I know). I'm not an expert in the subject despite dealing with it quite a bit so I won't name any specific mental illnesses it could be, but it's clear to me Nyx is some kind of urge of N's.

I've made plenty of characters like Nyx for my original works that are also meant to be representations of mental illness. Voices that whisper to you to do terrible things, creatures that make you feel worthless and shut down, etc. I make these not only because I find them scary but also as reflections of my own experience with mental illness. And it's that first point again that makes me question people's reactions to it.

People have said "It's grossly out of character for N" and stuff like that which...honestly that makes me think they only saw the initial wave of art and don't really know how N feels about the whole situation. But the other thing is that so many AUs have intentionally mischaracterized N because of what the AU is. And I'm not talking just swap AUs, I've seen plenty where N's character is wildly different because of the circumstances of the AU. And I see the Panic AU no different.

I also saw another comment of someone saying "We shouldn't normalize behavior like this" and again, I question whether the person has actually researched the thing they're talking about. Nyx, the thing that makes everyone uncomfortable, is very clearly the *villain* of the AU. He killed Uzi, he wants N to kill Thad, he's a horrid little creature. Are villains not meant to do things we disdain? Murder, torture, etc. It's prefectly understandable these things would make people uncomfortable, but isn't that what many villains do? There's plenty of media with torture scenes in them which make people uncomfortable, but that's the point! Hell, some kid shows have torture scenes. What about the Lich's design from Adventure Time? He's a rotting corpse! In a kid show! His design is clearly meant to make the viewer uncomfortable.

So again, while I don't think anyone is in the wrong for being uncomfortable due to the AU, I think many of the criticisms are unfair. A piece of media which is specifically designed to make people uncomfortable should not be criticized for that very reason. Avoid it all you want, that's completely reasonable! Never feel like your reasons for being uncomfortable are unwarrented. But I'm just saying that if you were to critique Silent Hill because it's themes of mental illness and character depictions made you uncomfortable, and that was a *negative*, it just seems a little weird to me.

This is all just my opinion, obviously I'm not THE definitive person on the matter. And I'm not saying anyone who has the AU blocked or anything should check it out. I'm just saying, many people seem to be judging it unfairly.

[bubsmiraculousau]

These are my OT5 brainstorm pages. Elaborations on how I got to these below! I reference concept pages so if you see any pictures you don't recognize that's why. <3

First up is Cat Noir who I think is already perfect lmao. For my version though I wanted to lean closer to his PV design because I love it, like his larger triangle nose (you can't really see it at the angle in my drawing but it's there I swear!), the bigger bell, the more elaborate belt, etc.... so basically everything ... just in my style instead.

With my designs I think that whenever someone transforms into their miraculous persona it's based on what they think a hero looks like or what they think is cool. I think Adrien reads a lot of comic books and is a fan of characters like Batman (relatable for him LOL), Catwoman, and Nightwing, so his suit reflects that kind of vibe.

Extra: I decided that Ladybug and Cat Noir's masks go all the way up their foreheads because it looks nicer in my 2D style with their bangs haha.

Next up is the one and only Ladybug! Unpopular opinion but I actually like the all red suit! My hypothetical series would be a webcomic, and I feel like in action scenes the red differentiates her from Cat Noir esp at a distance, and more red style keeps their color ratios even.

I like the ladybug designs with a bunch of black sections they're very cute! Just not for my au. (I think it's just me but I find drawing the ladybug designs with inverted red dots to feel sacrilegious in a way,,, just my neurodivergent brain lol)

And I am a long ribbons truther, I love them and they can be very expressive. Also I knew I wanted Marinette to have a more vertical circular eye shape because her shape vibe is definitely a circle (Adrien's is triangle) and it reminded me of the eyes for the main girl in princess jellyfish (I've never seen it, love the style tho)

Her hair is a more bright blue to contrast her hair against her suit, and make her look more cartoonish. I imagine her idea of a superhero comes from kids shows and some magical girl anime. So her hair has a plastic shiny texture to it because when she thinks 'superhero' she thinks of kids toys. Also I just like color! The blue kinda gives comic spiderman vibes imo (the version with the light blue instead of the navy)

Queen Bee definitely changed the most throughout the design process. I really like her in-show design so I just tweaked it to be more my vibe. Adding a crown because she's a Queen.

Something that I've noticed is that Alya and Chloe actually share a lot of traits (There's even some old concept notes where I believe Alya and Chloe either switch names or roles at some point?? The miraculous concept info rabbit hole is real y'all) and I think this comes through in their final designs.

Like they both share a middle part, which bothers me for some reason, so I decided to give Chloe a little Ariana Grande side part into a ponytail.

I wanted each character to have a cool little piece on their costume, so I tried these little hip things to make her more commanding and girlboss, but currently her weapon is similar to ladybug's (but more like one of those hair ties w the little disco balls on them) and it would sit on her hip and would clash w her hip thingies, so I just decided to make her weapon the hip things instead, combining the two.

Something else that bothered me a lot was that Rena was the only one with white on her costume. Everyone has black but she's the only one with white... my brain says that this cannot be. So I tried to give Bee some fun white fuzzy bits but the texture just was too different...

And then I had the mega-brain idea to make her hair white to tie in the white from Rena. Her and Cat Noir both having blonde hair irked me as well LOL so this hit two birds with one stone. I wanted her hair to be sharper and more aggressively drill shaped because of her abrasive personality haha.

After that, is Carapace. I had an idea for him from the start because I felt like his in-show design just doesn't match his personality... I couldn't make his outfit all loose because I wanted to stick generally to the miraculous suit formula, but I feel like 'skin tight suit' just isn't his vibe. So he has a kind of hammer pants situation.

I think they capture Carapace's b-boy ninja turtle vibe while still looking like a miraculous outfit. Though I decided later that I wanted the pants to be a lighter color for contrast and the visor to be white (to tie in that Rena Rouge white).

Lastly is Miss Rena! Something that bothered me (back on the similarities to Chloe) was that they both have ponytails (yes I know I'm crazy). Even though they have very different textures I just wanted each of them to be distinct from each other. So I put her hair down and just dramatized her regular hairstyle.

Also her and Queen Bee both have black gloves to their upper arms, which, you guessed it, bothered me. So I shortened Rena's to just reach her elbow.

I wanted her to look like a magic-man, her illusion powers evoke a showmanship energy to me. I imagine her and Cat Noir are quite the dramatic theater kid-esque duo.

So, for drama I tried some flowy arm bits, which I think ended up just looking a little strange, so I'll pocket that idea for something else. Then, I tried to add her coattail from the show, but it ended up looking a little frumpy, not the drama I wanted.

I ended up making her coat more triangular in the front, to give off the vibe of a magician's vest, and changed it to solider red/orange double coattails, which I think makes her more magic-man-ish. And I think the white ends made it too busy.

So those are my hero designs! I'm still working out Hawkmoth and Mayura, esp Hawkmoth because I am not good at drawing masculine older men...

If y'all want LESS of the artistic process let a girl know lol! I know some ppl like it but this is very long,,, all my drawings will not have text this long! thx for reading if you did tho xx

[autumnslance]

Benchmark Tech Notes

Running the Benchmark

If your Benchmark isn't opening, it's an issue with the executable file, and something not completing properly on either download, or extracting the Zip file. The Benchmark is designed to run and give you scores for your potato computer, I promise.

I actually saved my Benchmark to my external drive, and it still pulls and saves data and runs as it should. Make sure you allowed the download to complete before extracting the zip.

Resolution

Check your Settings; in Display, it may be defaulting your monitor Resolution to something than you might otherwise use if you aren't on standard 1920x1080.

To check your monitor Resolution, minimize everything on your screen and right click anywhere on your Desktop. Go to Display Settings and scroll down to find Resolution and what it's set at.

You can set the Graphic Settings 1 tab to Maximum, or to Import your game settings. Display Settings tab is where you set it to be Windowed, Bordered, or Full Screen, as well as select Resolution to match your monitor in the dropdown (or customize it if needed). I speak on Resolution as some folks in my FC noted it changed how their characters looked.

The Other tab in Settings is where you can change the text output, or even check a box to disable the logo and score; I do this on subsequent plays, once I have my scores at various settings, to get the clean screenshots.

@calico-heart has a post about fixing graphics settings, with screenshots of the settings tab. Basically, change graphics upscaling from AMD to NVIDIA, and/or uncheck Enable Dynamic Resolution. Also check the Framerate Threshold dropdown.

Screenshots

The benchmark auto-saves 5 screens each playthrough. In the Benchmark folder there is a Screenshots folder to find the auto-images taken of your characters.

Character Appearance

If you want to get your current in game appearance, including non-standard hairstyles, make sure to load up the live game, right click and "Save Character Settings."

Then go to Documents/My Games/Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn (this is the default in Windows 10 so mileage varies). The file will have the date you last updated their settings and be named FFXIV_CHARA_01.dat (or however many saves you have/made).

Grab those newly updated DAT files for your character(s) and copy them, then in the same base folder, go to Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn (Benchmark).

Paste the copied DAT files in there, and rename to FFXIV_CHARA_BENCH01.dat (the number doesn't matter, and you may have more).

When running Benchmark Character Creation, use the dropdown menu.

If you do Create a Custom Character and Load Appearance Data, it will give you default hairstyles again. Meteor's Dawntrail hairstyle is a new default.

In Char Gen I am finding that a very pale hrothgal reflects the green scenery around her, giving her white skin/fur a green tinge. The other zones do not have this problem, or at least not to the same degree.

They added a Midday vs Evening setting in outdoor areas as well to test lighting. The lighting in the Gridanian innroom is better; not as bright as outdoors, to be expected, but not completely useless.

New voice type icons to clarifying the sounds you make.

Remember we're getting a free fantasia with the expansion, so some tweaking may be needed; Iyna I felt like I needed to adjust her jaw. Other colors--skin, hair, eyes, tattoos, etc--are showing differently in the various kinds of lighting.

Uncertain if the limit on hairstyles for the Hrothgals so far is just a Benchmark thing; they do have set styles for different head options. Everyone gets Meteor's hair though, so it may be a temporary/Benchmark limit. But which clan and face you choose drastically alters what hair and facial feature options you have access to.

Check your settings, tweak them a bit, play around with chargen, and remember this is still a Benchmark; they always strike me as a little less polished than the finished game, but so far I'm actually pretty pleased with having defined fingers and toes, the irises in the eyes, scars looking cut into the skin, and other improvements.

[cozycottagetarot]

Quick Pick: Messages From Your Person

Hello, my loves! It's been way too long, but I'm finally back (hopefully for a long time) with a new reading as well as a bit of a rebrand. Today's reading is focused on messages from your person (kind of in the realm of a future spouse but generally a long-term partner) but I think for some of you it may come across as a current partner as well.

This is a pretty experimental reading for me. I want to start including an 'energy check' of sorts to help you better figure out if a pile is for you or not. I've done 'channelled' messages before but I felt weird about them so I've decided to give it a try again. The message aspect of this reading is just a free-flow writing of the cards that were pulled. And of course, I decided to play around a little bit more with my graphics. I'm always open to feedback, so I'd love to gather your thoughts on the set-up and reading itself.

Elle 🌿

P.S. I'm trying to re-do my masterlist but can't locate all my old pacs easily. If you come across one, I wouldn't mind if you send me the link. 🙏

Support My Work | MASTERLIST

Disclaimer: When reading tarot, my aim is to focus on self-reflection and seeking guidance. The readings you'll find here are designed to add a pinch of fun and entertainment to your day. While I might sprinkle in some advice that hopefully vibes with you, please remember that these insights aren't a substitute for any professional advice you might need-- after all, you know your journey best! For any love-related or future-focused readings, consider them captivating musings exploring possibilities. Divination inspired stories even. I can't predict the future but I do hope to add some enjoyment and insights into your everyday. Lastly my darlings, please take from these readings what resonates with you most, be it some, all or none, and leave the rest. 🌟

PILE 1

Note: Pile 1 your pile gave me absolute hell the first time around 😭. I was writing/channelling the message and the energy literally just gave way at one point, I was flabbergasted 🫨. Anyway, the second pull was much clearer, but I included notes I felt were important from the first pull in the post-reading notes section.

Your Energy:

Going through an awakening. A need or call for self-reflection. A new cycle is beginning. You must face what you are running from within, but you must also be patient. Rely on your inner strength. Needing to learn more about yourself before doing/trying something different. Potentially finding yourself in part of a mentorship. Connecting with people similar to yourself. Navigating regrets. Needing to let go of the old you. Needing to ground yourself.  A strong energy of needing to look within yourself. It is time to prepare yourself for your next journey.

The Message:

Can you let the past go? We’ve been through so much, the both of us, on our own and together. Why do you hold on to it when our future is waiting for us? I know I hurt you and I apologize. You didn’t deserve any of the pain I caused you. I don’t blame you [it felt like there was a specific reason but I couldn’t get the specifics] but I feel lost without you. I could tell you why, I want to, but words mean nothing without action. You know my story. My relationship with my mother, how that shaped me. You know I love the attention of it all, having everyone’s eyes on me. Makes me feel good.. makes me feel. But no one else’s attention mattered like yours did. I felt most close to myself with you. Please, please let go of that version of me you’re holding onto in your head. I’m taking space because I need to heal. I need to heal my relationship with me first before I can heal it with us. This isn’t goodbye; just so long for now. I’m taking time to put that me in the past too and find myself and what I want from this life. I mean it’s simple really, I want you, us. I want to give you the good life you deserve, but I need to fix myself first. Give me the self-love I deserve.

Post-Reading Notes:

There’s a mature, sad regretful energy. Someone on a journey of self-exploration. Two hurting souls who met at the wrong time. One of you may be further along in your healing journey or you’ve both healed parts of yourself and your relationship that the other one hasn’t healed yet.

First Pull Notes:

One of the first things that came to mind for me is a dark night of the soul… I haven’t heard that term in so long and I’ve completely forgotten what it means, but for someone in this pile, I feel like that may resonate a lot. Going through a tough time. Blow after blow. Your higher self or inner wisdom is trying to reach you. Introspection before a new beginning. An ending of something you don’t want to let go of?

Big things are happening in your life, and significant changes are taking place even though it might not seem that way right now. Lots of air energy. Gaining mental clarity is super important for you right now. Breakup vibes? You two are like opposite sides or motivations of the same energy. Holding on when you know you should let go. This is definitely your person (one of the cards literally says ‘You’re my person’).

PILE 2

Your Energy:

For some of you are at the end of suffering but lying to yourself about the truth of the outcome, while for others you’re running from the mistakes made along the way. Maybe it's both. You’re still grieving all that is lost, be gentle with yourself. Hard work and consistency may await you but keep at it. Adventure is closer than you think. You’re on the brink of success. Moving forward hurts, but you must. Your person (or something you've been romanticising) is waiting for you. You just have to be brave enough to step through the gate. Opportunities are coming your way. If you're interested in floral hobbies or embroidery go for it.

The Message:

I hear you. I haven’t given up on you. I hear the songs you play for me, I hear the songs of your heart. You’re my love, my soulmate. We were meant to be, you and me. You’re not crazy or insane, or any other term you demean yourself with. You’re my everything. I can feel your soul even though we’re apart. If I close my eyes hard enough, I can feel you there. I can see your sparkling soul mirroring mine... sad eyes, bright smile, you leave me in awe. I know you call to me, and I’m sorry I’m not there. Don’t hate me for it, please. I’m leaving behind all that has been holding me back… the same as you. I’m sorry it��s so lonely. I want to meet. What do you say? Impromptu trip to the tropics? Somewhere cold? I just want to escape the world with you and lie in your arms. You’re my home. I sit in your energy and let it guide me your way. But I do need time. Please be patient with me. I haven’t abandoned you. I’m finding me, for you. I dream about you so often and being the kind of person you’d inspire me to be.

Post-Reading Notes:

"I need you to run to me, run to me, lover." (Run by Hozier, the chorus specifically. I know the song is supposed to be a metaphor but I'm suggesting it at face value). A very healing energy to your person's messages. Your person could also fantasise about you a lot... in a non-x-rated 18+ kind of way. It was mentioned on one of the cards but that part of the card felt awkward in the rest of the cards. They’re possessive, it doesn't seem like in a negative or extreme way but again, that's not something that was strong or clear. There’s something to do with the attention of others. They just want to be yours completely… Honestly, a submissive yet dominant kind of energy. A protector and/or provider (take that as you will) who is absolutely smitten with you and will do anything you say.

I don't typically read for it, but one of the cards had twin flame written on it. It could also be symbolic of mirroring each other in your personal journeys in life.

PILE 3

Your Energy:

Powerful yet solitary energy. A new chapter of your life. Accomplishing a big goal. Moving to a new location. Creating a good foundation for yourself in preparation for what comes next. Balancing your energies. Sleep issues. Struggling with anxiety or managing thoughts after a traumatic event. Celebration. Having security. Authoritarian role or vibes.

The Message:

Okay, I can do this: I can’t get you off of my mind. I’m constantly thinking of you, viewing your content, trying to set myself up to run into you. I know it’s silly, especially since you hurt me. Who pines after the person that hurt them? Well, it wasn't meant to be mean. You’re just so mysterious I can’t ever read you and it or you make me nervous. I’m always worrying about what to say. I want to talk to you but opening up to others is hard. I’m afraid I’ll start crying or you’ll hear my voice crack. You’re my person. I’m sure of it. You’re everything I’ve hoped for in a person, everything I dream about before I go to sleep at night. You’re doing so well for yourself, but I want to spoil you and be there for you. Not always materially. I know you can cover that for yourself. But being there for you and spending time with you… I heard you were seeing someone. I hope it’s not true and even if it is, I hope it doesn't last. No, I’m not sorry. I’m going to work up the courage to reach out to you soon.

Post-Reading Notes:

Oh Pile 3, you’re so intimidating to your person. Secret admirer vibes. I definitely think you’ve got a very serious or professional energy and an intimidating appearance. That may especially be true if you’re taller than average for your demographic/s. The energies here feel very balanced or neutral (not heavily feminine or masculine) on both your end and theirs.

PILE 4

Your Energy:

Such a beautiful light-hearted energy. There’s such a beautiful and hopeful energy in this relationship here but it’s also possible someone or something is working against you right now. A very important decision is being made. Someone could be trying to take something from you, but keep going. You’ve got this incredible power/energy to you. Vows are super important, be it making them with someone else or making a vow to yourself to gain or achieve something. Collaboration. Having everything you need to succeed. There could be challengers coming your way but you're strong enough to overcome them.

The Message:

I’m sorry. I don’t know, that was immature of me. I swear it wasn’t like you thought but don’t worry I’m going to do better. Honest. You know, I dream about us being together and growing old. I dream about our kids. They’re so stinking cute. We’ve still got growing to do, ok, or I’ve still got growing to do. Please talk to me. You know I hate it when you give me the silent treatment. I know I disappeared on you and that wasn’t cool. I just get so… I care about you a lot. I don’t want to see you hurt. I want the best for you. I know I act all big and bad but I’m a softie at heart. That fight was weird. I don’t like it. It wasn’t like us. It meant nothing I know. Would you pack up and run away with me if I asked? I hate the distance between us right now. Im always listening to our playlist. I know I acted like I'm uninterested in something serious but I am. I want you. I miss you. I want to spoil you and give you everything you deserve. Just give me a chance. Please hear me out.

Post-Reading Notes:

The vibes while doing the reading felt like very young vibes? There’s a youthfulness there. Someone who either is actually young in age or hasn’t grown up emotionally in a certain aspect. It felt like they did something prideful that was hurtful to you and you two are in a disconnect during the moment captured in the reading. It didn’t feel like a serious fight. More so when you’re upset with someone and acting like you’re madder than you really are (your vibes) and the other person is sweating and begging you to talk to them again (their vibes).

Also, idk why but Peter Parker kept coming into my head 🕸️. I’m not feeling to analyse it so take it as you will.

[libby-for-life]

Can you do an Alpha Lucifer and Omega Adam one-shot?

I love the Omegaverse! Yes! We'll be doing my version of Adamsapple that reflect from my book Adam Dies.

Adam had been feeling sick for days now and he had no idea why. He had been feeling warm and sweaty, his appetite had increased, and he had been so sore lately. If he didn't know he was a Beta, he would have thought these symptoms sounded like an Omega going into heat.

He was very confused about it.

Currently, he was eating some breakfast. Adam sighed as he at some of his new cravings. Rotisserie chicken on waffles slathered in syrup. And pickles on the side.

"Adam?" The said demon smiled when Lucifer entered the kitchen. The devil was wearing a robe that fell off one shoulder and Adam felt his face warm up, more than it already was, and look away. He could see the beginnings of Lucifer's toned chest...

"That's, uh, an interesting breakfast," Lucifer said with a frown and Adam looked up with a sigh as he took a mouth full. He swallowed before answering.

"I know. I can't seem to shake off these cravings."

Lucifer tilted his head. "Cravings? That's...oddly specific." Adam shrugged and continued eating. Why was he so hot?

"Adam. You look flushed." He certainly felt flushed. "Are you alright?" Adam felt a hand on his forehead and a moan tumbled out of the lamb demon.

Adam let out a squeak, covering his face in mortification. "I'm sorry! I didn't know what came—"

"How long have you been feeling this way?" Lucifer interrupted. Adam thought hard about it. "Since last Thursday?"

"Two days ago?! Why didn't you say anything?!" Lucifer cried out while looking over Adam as if he was making sure he wasn't hiding anything else. "It wasn't so bad a couple of days ago. Just felt hot...."

Lucifer cupped his cheeks before stuffing his face into the lamb's scent glands. Adam squeaked but moaned out louder when he felt the devil's nose brush the top of his sensitive scent glands.

"Omega."

Adam felt slick pour out of his hole and he squirmed in his seat. What the hell was going on?

Lucifer removed himself from Adam, his pupils blown wide. "Adam...you're an Omega."

Adam froze. An Omega? No...no! He couldn't be! Omega's were treated like disgusting sex slaves! It was bad in Hell. The amount of abuse and discrimination that these designations received put fear into his heart.

He could feel himself shaking. He can't...he can't be an Omega!

Suddenly, strong arms held him close and Adam could smell a combination of cinnamon and apples. Adam breathed deeply and could feel himself relaxing. "Ssshhh, my Omega. I'll protect you."

Adam snuggled deeper into his Alpha, breathing in the intoxicated smell of an Alpha in a rut. "Let me take care of you. Please."

Adam nodded lucidly and he smiled when his Alpha picked him up so easily. His Alpha was strong. That meant he could be protected when he was round and pregnant with their pups.

Soon, he was sitting on a soft bed with so many blankets and pillows. Adam let out a purr and he immediately began to build his nest. It needed to be perfect. "Do you want this for your nest?"

Adam turned hooded eyes to his Alpha who was holding out the clothes he was wearing. His Alpha was naked and Adam tried not to drool at the muscles he saw.

He accepted the clothes and purred at the smell of musk that wafted off it.

He moaned, a fresh wave of slick leaving him and soaking his underwear and pants.

His Alpha joined the nest and began to strip him. Strong palms massaged aching muscles and Adam groaned and drooled at the sensation.

"I'm going to put a baby in you."

"Yes! Breed me!"

Lucifer growled and began sniffing around Adam's hole, licking and sucking at the entrance. Moans and pleads filled the air and his Alpha was all too happy to give his mate relief. He entered smoothly because of the slick and it wasn't too long before his Alpha was going at a powerful pace.

The nest rocked and Adam whimpered in pleasure, a puddle of drool gathering under him.

"I should have known that you were an Omega. A pretty little lamb like you could only be something so beautiful."

Adam whimpered when he felt his Alpha's knot getting caught ever so slightly.

"I can't wait to fill you up with my seed. Soon, you'll be so pregnant that you won't be able to walk right. Of course, I'll help my Omega."

Adam was so close, claws digging into sheets and tearing into the bedding and nest.

Adam screamed a high and needy pitch as he came while his Alpha growled at the sound before plugging him completely. A bite to the neck made tears roll down his cheeks and Adam smiled when he felt the powerful seed enter his womb, feeling happy and full.

"You're tits would be so full of milk. Their so big now. Do you think they'll get bigger? Do you think that milk will leak out? I would lick them away then. Wouldn't waste a single drop."

His Alpha hugged him close, rubbing his stomach and tweaking his nipples until Adam fell asleep.

Lucifer watched as his Omega passed out from the intensity of his orgasm. He rubbed his scent all over the new mark and smiled. He smelled like the earth before a rainstorm. He couldn't wait to spoil his little lamb.

[phantomyre]

It is time... to obsessively hyper analyze Vincent. Come on. You knew it was coming.

So first off, while there isn't a lot to glean per se, there are a few interesting design choices that I'd like to go over. One thing that I was surprised about is the complete lack of round shapes/edges. Vincent looks overall a lot more 'sharp', 'edgy', whatever you want to term it. Take his buckles for example. The round edges have been replaced by sharp edges. Artistically speaking, these design choices are meant to depict the character's personality. For example, if you have a soft character, you use soft colors, soft edges, round shapes, etc. If you want a more harsh character, you give them dark or vivid colors, lots of squares, triangles, etc. In Vincent's case, they've virtually removed all of the round/soft edges he always used to have. We will delve further into this as we scan down his body *cough*. Edit: Forgot to point out that he has double the spokes on his buckles, so instead of 4 prominent spokes, he now has 8, which is the symbol of Chaos.

Anyways.... speaking of Chaos.

Continuing to analyze his upper body, the most obvious are his eyes (or single eye). It's hard to tell, but judging by the few clips we've seen along with the still images, it looks as though only his left eye is glowing. Nevertheless, he does have the Chaos inner-glow. While he's always had a touch of yellow/orange in his eyes, it looked more like natural eye reflection rather than an actual glow. This is likely the change the dev team hinted at during an earlier interview. His pupils are also notably very small compared to all of the other characters with the exception of Sephiroth's cat-eye slits. Overall, they've made it a point to give Vincent predatory eye(s) this time around, leaning more heavily into the fact that he is no longer fully human. The material that makes up Vincent's cape and headband seem to be of slightly different material, and the colors are even slightly different. His headband looks to be made of a very thin cloth of fine thread. His cloak, though also seemingly thin and light, is only slightly thicker. His cloak looks to be made of either felt or very fine linen which looks to be heavily worn out (of course). Also, Vincent seems to have snake-skin on his gun-wielding arm which I've only seen the Turks and Sephiroth wear. In general, this luxury material seems to only be worn by those connected to Shinra. Thus, it is likely this is meant to coincide with Vincent's past as a Turk. But in terms of his role as Turk, I will get to that a little later.

I think we can all agree that the weapon he is currently wielding is Quicksilver. It would make sense that he would start off with the same weapon he has in OG, though I and many others were surprised he wasn't wielding his most iconic weapon, Cerberus. While it isn't confirmed, and with the inclusion of many DoC elements, this makes me think that we could get an origins story for how Vincent obtained Cerberus in the first place. We are getting an origins story for Sephiroth's Masamune in Ever Crisis, and we already know the Bustersword's origins, so it's not out of the question. (And there are a lot of parallels to be drawn between Cloud, Sephiroth, and Vincent). Side note: I didn't write this in the graph but you can also see Vincent's left eye glowing through his bangs yet again even from such a distance. Natural white room bounce-light wouldn't have this affect on normal eyes. Rebirth Vincent seems to be sporting his OG button-top which is a design that we haven't seen since OG. It too has a little bit of snake-skin accents. A few other not so important changes are the alterations of his buckles, and the fact that it looks to be more obvious that he is wearing a two-piece set instead of a single piece jumper. Makes it much easier to remove, am I right?

Going down to those luscious DoC hips, some belts are shifted around or missing, but then we have the thigh guard which was responsible for giving Vincent that unusually thick hip appearance. However, he is still sporting that gorgeous slutty tiny waist we all love from DoC. Thank you, Squeenix. The armor on his side is an odd choice, though more than likely it is meant to protect those birthing hips from that extra dangerous looking set of claws--- which I would like to remind is also lacking in round edges. Yet again, all of the round shapes/edges have been replaced by sharp ones. Take the knuckles for example. I will miss his AC/DoC claw. It was less of a bitch to draw. The gauntlet looks to serve not only for offense but for defense as well. It is heavily armored for impact, and as we will see going down the rest of his body, heavy protection and sharp edges continue to be a theme for his new Rebirth look.

Once again, we can see how thin and light the material is on his cloak. It is in contrast to his very elaborate and possibly expensive gear/suit. His cloak and headband seem to be the only things that clashes with the rest of his gear in terms of quality and practicality. While there are signs of use on his armor, it pales in comparison to the possible age and wear of his cloak. As a matter of fact, it almost looks like it is about to fall apart... like it was hand-made years ago. Very different from the heavy material we see in AC and DoC. And then of course there are the sabatons/greaves. While I cannot pin-point it, his armor design seems reminiscent of the Ancients/Minerva for some reason. That aside, the heavily layered armor makes it seem like he will be doing a lot more damage with his claw and legs going forward, on top of being heavily protected. The design on his shin reminded me of an army symbol, but that's neither here nor there. ....And I'm so happy they kept his tiny ankles. In general, Vincent's Rebirth design seems to lean into a Vincent that is much more guarded, 'edgy', and ultimately a lot more reserved, albeit self-reliant. We've seen as much in his room where it doesn't appear that he has only been moping in a coffin all these years. What's more---

--He points a gun at Cloud and threatens the group. This did not happen in OG. Vincent appears to be even more distrusting and hostile this time around. This yet again is depicted in how he is dressed in the heavy armor and ample sharp edges.

And what's with a vending machine and protorelic(?) dispenser in his mancave? Vincent boss fight, maybe? Please? Sure seems like Vincent hasn't been lacking anything... But back to Vincent being a lot more distrusting this time.

Unless this is merely for the audience and new FF7 fans who know nothing of his character, this implies that Vincent doesn't divulge his connection to the Turks and instead calls himself "Security" guard. And not only that, it's spoken as if it's current tense. Not past tense. So yet again, if Vincent is indeed avoiding the term Turk and doesn't even tell Cloud and Co that he used to work for Shinra, this adds to the idea that his level of distrust is much higher than before. At this point, it wouldn't surprise me if joins the party much later, even after learning who Cloud's foe is. And since his connection to Sephiroth aka Lucrecia/Hojo is the mystery factor, he may not even divulge this to Cloud and Co when they first meet until much later. Either way, Vincent might actually prove to be a much tougher egg to crack this time around, along with more layers to uncover. (take that last phrase however you'd like)

[mirikitakato]

[Translation] Shylock White Day 2025 SR card: Unfurl the Stole

Another victim of Shylock's seductive appearance lol

Characters: Shylock, Snow, Akira (mentioned: Ciel, the NPC child in the event)

Card Story: His Unconscious Self

Shylock: Good, good. What a good boy.

Gray Cat: Meowwww. Grruhh gruhhh...

Snow: Hohoho, he seems completely satisfied by being stroked by Shylock.

Shylock: He's just so good at being affectionate, I couldn't help it. When a well-behaved child looks at you with eyes full of shyness and expectation, you can't help but want to respond, can you?

Snow: Hoho, good point. But I also think it's because you're so good at spoiling them. However, to resolve this current anomaly, we all need to be the ones being pampered. What will you ask for?

Shylock: That's a secret between me, the Sage, and Ciel. But don't worry. Even I sometimes feel like being pampered by someone.

Snow: Oh, for example?

Shylock: I'll be honest. If there's a favorable person, and the time, place, and mood are right... I might surrender myself and ask, "Please let me be spoiled by you."

Snow: Oh dear.....That sounds quite seductive. But you are the mischievous Western wizard. You probably often tease the Sage and the young wizards like that, don't you?

Shylock: Oh, was I?

Snow: Don't evade the question! Just the other day, you almost shot an arrow through my heart.

Episode 2

Shylock: The other day...? Did that happen?

Snow: Don't pretend you've forgotten. It was a few days ago, when I brought back ice from the Northern Country to the bar! After crushing the ice and dropping it into the glass, you held it up to the light and said in an innocent voice. "Beautiful."

Shylock: .……..

Snow: Pure, innocent eyes like a young boy. And your cheeks were slightly flushed... If you make a face like that, even I would be taken aback. Stop teasing me so much!

Shylock: Did I say something like that?

Snow: Huh?

Shylock: I'm sorry, I don't remember clearly. But the ice you brought was truly beautiful. It was as if the light of the candle was reflecting off a piece of clear crystal… So, I probably just blurted out my feelings as I felt them.

Snow: ...Was that unconscious? You weren't aiming for my heart?

Shylock: Probably...? I'm not entirely sure.

Snow: My goodness… Shylock-chan, you're a terrifying child!

Shylock: .…….?

Card Episode: One Request

Akira: Shylock!

Shylock: Oh, Sage. What's the matter?

Akira: Actually, I have something I want to show Shylock… Ta-da! It's a clock made of magical ice.

Shylock: ...This is beautiful. The delicate clock face is embedded in crystal-clear ice.

Akira: Isn't it? I found it while shopping in the Western Country with Rustica and the others. It's designed so that the surrounding ice slowly melts over time... It kind of reminded me of ice melting in a cocktail.

Shylock: ...This clock made you think of me and this bar? Fufu, how adorable. Both you and that clock are very charming.

Akira: Ehehe... I'm glad you like it! (I was actually thinking of giving it to Shylock as a gift...) (But everyone has their own taste in interior decoration. Shylock might want to choose for himself, and I'm happy just to have shown him.)

Shylock: Master Sage, may I ask for one request?

Akira: Yes, what’s it?

Shylock: I'd like to watch this clock melt tonight. I'll close the bar for the day, so we can be alone together. Can I have your time until all the ice melts?

=== Home-screen Voiceline ===

“It seems the kitchen is crowded every day as they prepare White Day gifts. Today, Rustica said he's going to make sweets by hand for you. I'm looking forward to seeing what he comes up with.”

[saphirune]

my 2024 art summary. looking forward to making new things in 2025! i've written a more detailed reflection below

i had a lot of changes this year in my life so i think that affected my desire and purpose in creating art...especially in the first half of the year, i was wrestling with finding my own style when it came to making designs. i spent most of my time privately reworking on my passion project (pkg ocverse) to find that again. i don't think a lot of the changes i made are noticeable visually tbh but the exploration allowed me to have faith in my own vision and rediscover what i really enjoy about making characters: how their relationships shape each other...

i'm also very grateful to be a part of cossetlings (closed species by my friend chao! you all should check it out heehee) whether through making art of my ocs using the prompts or creating designs. it helped me out of my creative stump when i found it difficult to work on my own project. the same oc showing up 3 times in my art summary is rare, so vivienne (pink haired cossetling) definitely has a special place in my heart!

the highlight of this year artwise was definitely making the hypmic post card set...it's probably the biggest project i've done on my own and i like how it turned out. i really felt the difficulty of keeping multiple art pieces consistent in quality and it was a nice challenge i haven't imposed on myself for awhile. i will definitely do the remaining groups next year!

goals i'm working towards next year:

mainly focus on development for my original project

start on a one shot comic of my pkg ocs

finish designing the legendaries

join huevember

expand on current merch line [finish hypmic postcards, add more variety of series & merch types]

i'll try my best but regardless of how much i can achieve i want to focus on having fun and creating something i put my heart into! in general i do want to take things much more slowly as well so i may not share as much...in the end i hope whatever i make is something i can look back and feel proud of.

thank you all as always for your support, and i wish you all an amazing year ahead!!

[jinnieboosworld]

This Is So Not Fair

Hakneyeon x Female Reader

@deoboyznet @a-dream-bookmark @k-labels

Genre: RomCom, Fluff

Summary: Y/n, a rich girl gets cut off from her parents and has to start working at a street food stand. She absolutely hates her new life that is until she meets a guy named Hakneyeon who shows her that money truly doesn’t buy happiness.

Part of The MeetCute Series

Word Count: 8979

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

Y/N was in full crisis mode. It was the kind of crisis that only the truly privileged could ever experience—like a spoiled child being forced to grow up far too soon.

She sat in the back of a black town car, staring out the window at the bustling Seoul streets. The hum of the traffic and the neon lights outside only made her feel more isolated. Her world had been flipped upside down in a matter of hours.

“You’re 23, Y/N. It’s time you learned some responsibility.” Her father’s words echoed in her head, cold and dismissive. “You’re cut off. No more credit cards. No more luxury apartments. No more trust funds. You’re on your own.”

Her mother had barely spared her a glance, already preoccupied with her salad at dinner. “You’ll need to figure things out on your own, sweetheart.”

Y/N had been livid, of course. She didn’t need to work, and she certainly didn’t want to. For as long as she could remember, she had lived a life of excess—designer clothes, vacations in Bali, spa days at the finest resorts. The idea of working was so far out of her reality, it might as well have been a foreign concept.

And yet, here she was, being dropped off at a rundown street food stand in the middle of nowhere. The sign above read “Bulgogi King.” She felt like she might actually die.

The town car pulled away, leaving Y/N to stare at the tiny stand with its peeling paint and modest, no-nonsense appearance. There were plastic chairs set up in front, the smell of sizzling meat and spicy sauce wafting through the air. The thought of eating food from that stand made her stomach churn. The people around her were busy, standing in line, chatting and laughing, as if this was just another day in their humble lives.

But it wasn’t her day. It wasn’t her life.

She tugged at her stained apron, trying to adjust the oversized, hideous t-shirt that said “Bulgogi King” across the front. She was too embarrassed to even look at herself in the reflection of the glass window, her face flushed with the humiliation of it all.

This was so not fair.

“What is the meaning of all this?!” Y/N muttered under her breath. “I can’t believe they’re making me work here. I mean—this is insane. I’m the heir to the L/n Corporation. This isn’t my life!”

She groaned, staring at the man who was currently running the stand. He was casually flipping meat on the grill, unfazed by her presence, his hands moving with effortless precision.

The guy was about her age, tall and lean, his hair tousled under a cap. His posture was relaxed, like he wasn’t at all bothered by the fact that he was working behind a street food cart in the middle of this chaotic neighborhood. Y/N couldn’t help but stare, as his confidence made her feel completely out of place. How could someone just… be okay with this?

She was still too busy sulking to realize that the guy had been watching her for a while.

“Hey,” he finally spoke up, his voice calm and casual. “You’re the new girl, right?”

Y/N didn’t even look at him, her eyes trained on the ground as she crossed her arms in defiance. “I’m not staying here long. Just… dealing with a small family situation. It’s really not fair.”

He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “A small family situation?” He smiled a little. “You don’t exactly look like the type who works at a place like this.”

Y/N shot him a glare. “Well, I’m not. I’m—” She stopped herself, realizing how ridiculous it sounded. “I’m not like you.”

He just smirked, not taking offense, which irritated her more. “I’m Hakneyeon, by the way. I run this stand. I’m guessing you haven’t worked a day in your life, huh?”

“I’ve worked plenty of important things,” she snapped. “I don’t need to do this. This is beneath me.” She took a step back, her arms folded tighter. “I’m a L/n I don’t work. I just… live.”

Hakneyeon chuckled softly, shaking his head. “You know, it’s not all about living in luxury. You’d be surprised how good it feels to work for something real.”

Y/N felt a twinge of anger at his words. “Please, don’t tell me you’re lecturing me about work. You think I want to be here? I didn’t choose this life.”

Hakneyeon shrugged. “No one chooses the circumstances they’re born into, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make the best of it.”

Y/N huffed, her pride still too big to allow herself to be humbled by some guy working a food stand. “Well, I’m not staying long. So if you could just let me get through this hell of a day without you offering unsolicited advice, I’d appreciate it.”

He didn’t respond immediately, just took the grill spatula in his hand and flipped another skewer of bulgogi onto the sizzling grill. “Suit yourself,” he said with a shrug. “But you know, you’d probably enjoy the job a lot more if you actually gave it a chance.”

Y/N felt a spark of irritation at his calmness. He was too nonchalant about this whole thing. She was miserable—didn’t he realize that?

Instead of saying anything more, she turned toward the tiny ordering counter. “Fine. I’ll just… get this over with.”

She stood there, her arms crossed tightly as she forced herself to stand still. Hakneyeon was right; she wasn’t cut out for this. Every minute that passed, she could feel herself becoming more uncomfortable.

But she wasn’t going to admit that to him. No way.

“This is so not fair,” she muttered again, more to herself than anyone else. She was not meant to be here.

Hakneyeon, however, didn’t seem fazed. “That’s what I keep hearing.”

And for some reason, the way he said it made her almost believe he wasn’t mocking her.

Almost.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

Y/N stood in front of her full-length mirror, giving herself a once-over. She wasn’t exactly thrilled with the sight before her. The mandatory food stand shirt hung loosely on her frame, an ugly oversized piece of cotton that did absolutely nothing for her shape. It was branded with the logo of the stand she worked at, and while the shirt was supposed to be “practical,” all Y/N could think was how it completely ruined her otherwise flawless outfit.

She had on her expensive black leather pants, a pair that cost more than a month’s rent. Her gold jewelry sparkled even under the dim light of her apartment, and her heels—her gorgeous, strappy, sky-high heels—added just the right amount of height to make her feel like she could still rule the world.

But this… this was ridiculous.

The shirt clashed with everything. And yet, she couldn’t just wear something else. It was her uniform, after all. Her parents had made it clear that she had to work at the food stand for a while—“get some perspective,” they called it. A punishment for her supposed “entitlement” and “lack of appreciation” for the money she’d been given her entire life.

What was that supposed to mean anyway?

Y/N glared at the shirt in the mirror, as if glaring would somehow make it disappear. She reached for her phone and checked the time. She had about twenty minutes before she had to leave for work, and she wasn’t about to show up looking like a total disaster. Not in front of… well, not in front of anyone. Certainly not in front of Hakneyeon.

Hakneyeon.

The name echoed in her mind, and she felt her stomach do a little flip. Despite everything she’d told herself, despite how much she’d tried to convince herself that this job was beneath her, there was something about Hakneyeon that kept nagging at her. He was patient with her. He didn’t judge her, despite all the stupid mistakes she’d made since starting at the stand. There was a quiet confidence in him, something that made him seem entirely different from anyone she’d ever known.

She shook her head, pushing those thoughts aside. She didn’t need to think about him right now.

Y/N picked up her bag and stormed out of her apartment, making her way to the stand with purpose. She climbed into the back of a rideshare, her heels clicking against the floor of the car as she fiddled with her phone. The thought of what awaited her at the food stand made her stomach churn. The chaotic atmosphere, the greasy smells, the low-wage workers—everyone who wasn’t “someone” like her.

She grimaced as the car came to a stop. Ugh, I can’t believe I’m doing this.

When she arrived, Y/N stepped out of the car and took a deep breath. She might’ve had a bad attitude about this job, but one thing was for sure: she wasn’t going to let her clothes get ruined. She adjusted her shirt, hoping that the mix of expensive pants and flashy jewelry would distract anyone from the fact that she was essentially dressed like a food stand worker.

But as she walked inside the stand, her plans to look cool and collected quickly fell apart.

There was Hakneyeon, standing behind the counter, flipping something on the grill with the ease of someone who had been doing it for years. His calm demeanor contrasted sharply with the hectic energy of the stand, and somehow, it made everything seem less overwhelming. He noticed her immediately and gave her a friendly wave.

“Morning, Princess,” he said with a smirk.

Y/N immediately rolled her eyes. She hated that nickname. “I’m not your princess,” she shot back, her tone sharp, though she couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at her lips.

He raised an eyebrow. “Sure, sure. Whatever you say.”

The moment she stepped behind the counter, things started to go downhill. Y/N had been there for about five minutes, organizing condiments and pretending to know what she was doing when a customer ordered a large portion of fries. Normally, she would’ve taken care of that quickly. But today, she managed to spill an entire packet of seasoning all over the counter.

“Are you serious?” she muttered under her breath, trying to gather the seasoning up with her hands. It was a futile effort, and she only ended up knocking over a bottle of ketchup that exploded all over the counter and her shirt.

“Oh my god, this is so not fair,” Y/N groaned, wiping her hands on her already stained shirt.

Hakneyeon glanced over at her, trying to hide his amusement. “You okay over there?”

She looked up at him, her face flushed with frustration. “No! I’m not okay! This is ridiculous!” she half-screeched, trying and failing to salvage the situation. Her pants—her beautiful, designer leather pants—now had ketchup all over them. “I’m going to need a whole new wardrobe at this rate.”

He stepped forward, not at all surprised by her mini meltdown. “It’s just ketchup. It happens,” he said with a grin. “Besides, I think it’s kind of cute how you’re trying so hard.”

Y/N shot him a glare. “Cute? Cute isn’t the word I would use. This is a disaster. I’ll never get all this off.”

Hakneyeon simply shook his head, his grin widening. “It’s not the end of the world. You’ll figure it out. And hey, your pants are still fancy, even with the ketchup.”

“I’m not here to make mistakes,” she snapped, though the edge in her voice wasn’t quite as harsh as before. Her shoulders slumped in defeat, and she rubbed at the ketchup stain in vain. “I don’t do mistakes.”

He chuckled at her, which only made Y/N feel more embarrassed. The last thing she wanted was for someone like him—someone who knew this place, who was so comfortable in this environment—to see her so out of her element. She was used to being the one who had it all together. And yet, here she was, spilling food and ruining her clothes.

Hakneyeon just smiled knowingly. “You’re doing fine,” he said, his tone casual. “You just gotta get used to it.”

“Used to it?” Y/N’s voice was filled with disbelief. “I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to this place. It’s so… messy. And this shirt? This stupid shirt?”

Hakneyeon looked at her with a quiet, amused expression. “I don’t think you’re going to be able to just throw away your old habits overnight, but hey, you might get there. Eventually.”

Y/N didn’t answer him. Instead, she looked down at her shirt and the mess she’d made, frowning as she grabbed a towel and began to wipe at the stain. Maybe he was right. Maybe she couldn’t just change everything about herself in a single day, but that didn’t mean she had to like it.

With one last sigh, she started cleaning up the mess she’d made, trying to push down her frustration. She could feel Hakneyeon’s eyes on her, but instead of feeling embarrassed, it was almost comforting. He wasn’t judging her. He wasn’t mocking her.

He was… helping.

And that, for whatever reason, felt strangely good.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

Y/N’s third day at the food stand was no better than the first two. If anything, it was worse. The thought of spending another eight hours behind the counter, serving greasy food and wearing that ridiculous shirt, made her want to scream. She could feel the stain from yesterday still haunting her—the ketchup not only ruined her pants, but her pride too.

The constant noise of sizzling food, the never-ending stream of customers, and the sticky heat that seemed to settle in the air—it was all too much. Yet, as much as she hated it, she couldn’t quite shake the feeling that there was something oddly… comforting about it.

Especially when Hakneyeon was around.

It was like he was a magnet, pulling her attention no matter what she was doing. Whether he was flipping burgers or sorting out the ice machine, there was something about the way he carried himself that made him hard to ignore.

And today, like the last few days, it wasn’t any different.

“Y/N,” Hakneyeon called, his voice cutting through the loud chatter of the stand. He was holding a large tub of fries in his hands, eyes scanning the counter for any open spots. “You mind grabbing some ketchup packets for this order?”

Y/N reluctantly left her spot behind the counter, pushing her hair out of her face. She turned and moved toward the supply shelf, but her eyes couldn’t help but drift back to him. There he was, effortlessly balancing multiple trays of food while his arm flexed slightly as he adjusted the trays on the counter. He wasn’t even trying to look good—he was just existing—and yet Y/N found herself momentarily breathless.

She cleared her throat and quickly focused on grabbing the ketchup packets, reminding herself that she had a job to do. She wasn’t here to admire Hakneyeon’s arms or the way his shirt clung to his broad shoulders. No, she was here to get this over with, to fulfill her “punishment,” and then return to her life of luxury.

But then—of course—it happened again.

As she passed him with the ketchup packets in hand, she watched him clean up a spill on the counter with effortless grace, his movements smooth and sure. He didn’t even break a sweat. The way he bent down to wipe the floor—his back muscles flexing slightly, the way his shirt stretched over his chest—was enough to make Y/N’s heart stutter.

She quickly turned away, a flush creeping up her neck. “So not fair,” she muttered under her breath.

She hated how it felt. It wasn’t just that he was good-looking—though, God, he was—there was something more. It was the ease with which he navigated this environment, the casual confidence that made him appear so… put together.

Y/N couldn’t help but notice how he handled everything with such grace, like working in a food stand wasn’t even a challenge for him. Meanwhile, Y/N felt like a disaster every time she did anything. Her clothes were constantly getting stained or ruined, she spilled things, and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so clumsy.

But Hakneyeon? He didn’t make mistakes.

It was when a new customer approached the counter, a teenager asking for the most complicated order Y/N had heard all day, that she noticed another thing. Hakneyeon was talking to the customer, smiling softly, as he grabbed the fries from the fryer. His voice was warm and soothing as he answered the teenager’s questions, and when he handed over the food, his soft smile made the entire interaction feel calm and natural.

Y/N found herself watching him again, and for a moment, it felt like everything around her slowed down. She couldn’t quite place it, but there was something about the way he spoke—his quiet assurance—that made him seem so… appealing. So different from anyone she’d known before.

But before she could analyze it any further, a loud crash interrupted her thoughts. A stack of plates had fallen off the shelf next to her, the ceramic plates clattering loudly on the floor. She jumped, her heart racing as she looked down at the mess she’d created.

“Great,” she muttered. “Just what I needed.”

As she bent down to pick up the plates, Hakneyeon appeared next to her, already crouched down to help. His hands worked quickly and efficiently, as though he’d done this a thousand times before.

“You okay?” he asked softly, glancing up at her with an easy smile.

Y/N sighed in frustration. “Honestly? No. But thanks for helping,” she mumbled, continuing to gather the shattered plates.

“Don’t worry about it,” Hakneyeon said, his tone light. “It’s not the end of the world.”

The way he said that, so calmly, with no hint of irritation, was enough to make Y/N stop for a moment. She glanced at him, meeting his eyes for a brief second. There was something about the way he didn’t judge her for her clumsiness, the way he didn’t make her feel like a burden, that tugged at something inside her.

She was used to being the one who was admired, who was the center of attention. But with Hakneyeon, it felt different. He didn’t care about her wealth or her status—he just saw her as someone who needed a little help, and that was enough.

“You’re not as bad as you think,” Hakneyeon added, standing up as he finished picking up the last piece of plate. “You just gotta get used to things around here. It’s not as bad as it seems.”

Y/N shook her head, smiling despite herself. “I don’t know. I’m still trying to get used to… all of this.”

He laughed softly, reaching out to ruffle her hair in a way that felt more playful than patronizing. “Don’t worry. You’ll figure it out eventually.”

The soft touch of his hand on her hair, even though it was brief, left a tingling feeling on her skin. Y/N quickly stepped away, not wanting to make this moment more awkward than it already was.

The rest of the afternoon passed in a blur of orders, laughter, and the usual chaos of the food stand. But every time she caught a glimpse of Hakneyeon—whether it was him flipping burgers or cleaning off the grill—Y/N couldn’t shake the strange fluttering in her chest. There was just something about him. Something that made everything else feel… insignificant.

As the day came to an end and the stand began to empty out, Y/N found herself alone behind the counter with Hakneyeon, wiping down the counters for the last time.

“So, what’s your plan after this?” he asked casually, tossing a rag into the laundry bin.

Y/N paused, a slight frown tugging at her lips. “I don’t know. Probably head back to my apartment and sulk a little more. Definitely going to need a new wardrobe after all this.”

Hakneyeon raised an eyebrow at her. “Still not a fan of the job, huh?”

Y/N shook her head. “I’ll get over it. Or… I’ll try, anyway. I just need to get out of here as soon as possible.”

“Fair enough,” he said, his voice soft but understanding. “But don’t give up on it so quickly. I think you’ll surprise yourself.”

Y/N smiled a little, though she couldn’t entirely shake the feeling that he might be right. Maybe, just maybe, this whole experience wasn’t as horrible as she made it out to be.

At least not as long as Hakneyeon was around.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

Y/N wasn’t sure what exactly had changed, but somewhere between cleaning trays and making the same greasy fries she had no interest in eating, something shifted. It was the quiet way Hakneyeon worked, his movements smooth and confident, that had made her feel… well, different. But it wasn’t just that. It was how he didn’t let anything get to him. His constant calm was something she admired even though she refused to admit it.

The next morning, Y/N groggily dragged herself out of bed, her eyelids heavy from another night spent sulking about her life. She was halfway through reapplying her eyeliner when she remembered something.

Today was her day off from the food stand.

A part of her was relieved, but another part—the stubborn, prideful part—was a little disappointed. She had to admit it—there was something about being at the stand that pulled her out of her privileged bubble, something that made her feel oddly… alive. And Hakneyeon, though he wasn’t her type at all, had somehow become an unavoidable presence in her life.

For reasons she couldn’t explain, she found herself missing him.

“Stop it,” she muttered to herself, shaking her head. “This is so not fair. I’m not here for this.”

But as she wandered around her apartment, her mind kept drifting back to him, to the way he would look when he focused, his concentration so sharp that she’d almost forget how good he looked. Hakneyeon wasn’t just handsome in that “I’m too pretty for my own good” way. It was the way he was so effortlessly cool, like everything came so naturally to him. He had the kind of confidence that was attractive but not arrogant—almost the opposite. He seemed to carry himself with this quiet dignity, the kind you couldn’t fake.

That was the moment it hit her: she had caught feelings. Real, unshakeable feelings for Hakneyeon.

This realization made her almost choke on her coffee. “No, no, no,” she muttered. “I’m not supposed to like him.”

She stood there for a moment, staring into her mug like it held the answers to her life’s problems. The idea of liking someone who wasn’t rich or impressive or part of her world… It felt absurd. She wasn’t someone who liked regular people. She liked power, status, luxury. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

And yet it had.

When Y/N showed up at the food stand that afternoon, the familiar scent of fried food immediately hit her, the greasy air smacking her in the face. She walked in to find Hakneyeon at the counter, sorting orders with his usual calm efficiency. There was a group of kids sitting on the benches outside, their excited chatter filling the air, but Hakneyeon remained completely unfazed by the noise around him.

He looked up at her as she walked in, his usual warm smile lighting up his face. “Hey, you’re here early.”

“Yeah, I thought I’d give it another shot,” Y/N said, leaning against the counter. “Don’t get used to it though.”

He chuckled and gave her a knowing look. “Don’t worry, I won’t. But you look… different today.”

Y/N blinked, slightly taken aback. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know,” he said with a shrug, wiping his hands on his apron. “You just seem… more relaxed.”

Y/N shook her head, trying to play it off. “You’re imagining things. I’m still me, just trying to survive.”

“Well, if this is your way of surviving, you’re doing better than you think,” Hakneyeon said, handing her a drink order with a teasing grin. “Your clumsiness is actually pretty entertaining.”

Y/N crossed her arms, rolling her eyes. “You really know how to make a girl feel special.”

Hakneyeon just grinned wider. “I aim to please.”

Her stomach fluttered, but she quickly ignored it. It had to be the weird food smells and the ridiculous uniform she was wearing. That was the only logical explanation. Nothing else could explain the way her heart raced whenever he smiled at her or when his eyes lingered on her for just a little too long.

The day went on as usual, but this time, Y/N couldn’t help but notice more. Every time Hakneyeon interacted with a customer, she found herself studying his movements—how he took orders with effortless charm, how he made them laugh, how he was just good at what he did. Even when he wasn’t doing anything particularly remarkable, Y/N couldn’t stop her mind from drifting to him.

There was a moment when the two of them were stocking up on napkins behind the counter. She had just reached for the same box as him, and their hands brushed.

“Sorry,” she mumbled quickly, her face flushing slightly.

Hakneyeon smiled that smile of his, the one that made everything feel light. “It’s fine,” he said casually. “We’re a team now, right?”

Y/N felt her heart skip a beat, and she quickly turned away to grab another box to avoid making this any more awkward than it already was. But the truth was, she couldn’t stop the little spark of warmth spreading through her chest.

That was what bothered her the most.

She wasn’t supposed to feel this way. She wasn’t supposed to get butterflies when Hakneyeon smiled at her, or when their hands brushed. She wasn’t supposed to care about him, not really. She wasn’t supposed to get attached to a guy who worked at a food stand.

But it was happening anyway.

By the end of the day, Y/N was exhausted, but something had changed. As she leaned against the counter, staring out at the fading light of the setting sun, Hakneyeon appeared beside her. His apron was slightly askew, his hair a little messier than usual, but he still looked effortlessly handsome.

“Long day, huh?” he asked, looking at her with a slightly teasing smile.

“Yeah, you could say that,” Y/N muttered, not really looking at him. “I’m still getting the hang of this.”

“You’re doing fine,” Hakneyeon said reassuringly, his voice soft. “You’ll get used to it. Just… try not to spill any more drinks on yourself next time, okay?”

She snorted. “No promises.”

He laughed, the sound warm and easy. “You’ll survive, trust me.”

Y/N found herself smiling, a genuine smile, one that reached her eyes. Maybe it wasn’t so bad, this life. Maybe it wasn’t so bad, spending time with Hakneyeon. But that was the thing. She wasn’t ready to admit that to herself just yet.

Not yet.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

Y/N had always been one to stay in control. The idea of letting someone else call the shots, to give up a little of her independence, was a concept she had never fully embraced. So when she walked into the food stand the next morning, her head was spinning with all the thoughts of last night.

Her interactions with Hakneyeon had felt different. She had spent the evening after her shift in her room, trying to dissect every moment. The way he had smiled at her, the way his eyes seemed to lock onto hers, even when it wasn’t necessary—those little moments had somehow started to mean something more than she wanted them to. What was worse was that she didn’t know what to do with it.

Her life had been so much easier when she could avoid feelings altogether.

“Here we go again,” Y/N muttered to herself as she adjusted her hair in the mirror before entering. It was something of a daily ritual now—checking herself over before facing him. She still wore her usual mix of her stand uniform and expensive accessories, the jewelry like armor to keep her from letting anyone get too close.

When she walked into the stand, she was surprised to find Hakneyeon already deep into his work, sorting through orders with a speed and grace that made him look almost too good for this place. He didn’t even look up when she entered, but the familiarity of his presence was strangely comforting.

Y/N walked past the counter, trying to act like nothing had changed, but the unease gnawing at her insides made it harder to keep her usual cold composure.

“Morning,” she said, trying to sound nonchalant.

Hakneyeon looked up, his face lighting up as always. “Morning, Y/N. You ready for another day of greasy fries and messy customers?”

She rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped her. “You know it. It’s like a dream come true.”

He laughed, but there was something different about it today. It wasn’t just his usual easygoing demeanor. There was a little more warmth, a little more something between them that hadn’t been there before. And that made Y/N’s stomach do a flip.

The day went on as usual, with her still fumbling her way through each task. She was trying, really trying to get the hang of it, but everything she did seemed to make a mess of things. It was like every time she turned around, she was tripping over something or dropping something or spilling something on herself. It was exhausting, but Hakneyeon never seemed to mind. If anything, he found her mistakes more endearing than frustrating.

“Hey,” he said around midday as she was wiping down the counter, her hands still a little sticky from something she had spilled earlier. “You’re doing great today. Really.”

Y/N couldn’t stop the surprised expression that crossed her face. “I don’t know about that. I’ve spilled three sodas and dropped an order of fries, and I’m pretty sure my uniform is beyond saving.”

Hakneyeon grinned, clearly amused. “But you’re still here, aren’t you? That’s something, at least.”

She couldn’t help but smile back at him, a soft, genuine smile she rarely allowed herself to give anyone. But as quickly as it appeared, she masked it again, retreating behind her usual defense.

“Thanks, I guess.” She adjusted her apron with a little more force than necessary. “I don’t know how much longer I can keep up with this. I don’t belong here.”

He raised an eyebrow at her, not in a mocking way, but in a way that made her feel seen. “What do you mean by that?”

Y/N sighed, finally wiping down the last of the counter. She wasn’t sure why she was telling him this, but she was too tired to fight it. “I just… I don’t fit in. I don’t know how to do any of this. I can barely keep it together.”

Hakneyeon was quiet for a moment, the usual ease in his expression replaced by something softer, more thoughtful. “Y/N, nobody expects you to be perfect. You’re learning. You don’t have to have it all figured out.”

“But I’m supposed to,” Y/N countered, a bit sharper than she meant to. “I’ve always been told that I need to be perfect, that I can’t fail. If I’m not good at this, what am I even doing here?”

Hakneyeon didn’t back away. Instead, he leaned against the counter, looking at her with a mixture of amusement and understanding. “You know, if you let go of the idea that you need to be perfect, you might actually enjoy this a little more.”

Y/N frowned, still not ready to let go of her pride. “I don’t need advice on how to be happy. I’m fine.”

“Are you?” Hakneyeon asked softly, his gaze never leaving her. “You might think you’re fine, but from where I’m standing, it looks like you’re trying to convince yourself of something that isn’t true.”

Y/N froze at his words, the weight of them sinking in. She opened her mouth to argue, but the words wouldn’t come. There was no real defense for her actions. No real excuse for the way she’d been trying so hard to keep everything perfect when all she had done was make herself more miserable.

Hakneyeon, seeming to sense her internal battle, didn’t press further. He simply smiled, this time a little more knowing. “It’s okay. You’ll figure it out.”

Y/N nodded, although she wasn’t sure if she would. She had always lived her life with everything mapped out. She didn’t know how to let go, how to just be.

Later that afternoon, Y/N found herself walking through the busy streets, the same food stand she worked at still in the back of her mind. The day had been one of the worst, but also the most revealing. Maybe Hakneyeon was right. Maybe she had been trying too hard to keep things together, to uphold a version of herself that wasn’t even real.

But was it possible to change? To stop pretending that she had everything under control when, in reality, it was all slipping through her fingers?

The question was still there as she walked home, but as she passed a street vendor selling flowers, something caught her eye. A single, bright red rose was lying in a basket, its petals soft and delicate.

It was simple, like the life she had been too afraid to accept. It was beautiful, and maybe, just maybe, that was all she needed to realize.

That sometimes, you didn’t need to be perfect to be happy.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

Y/N dragged herself into the food stand the next morning, her heels clicking against the pavement. She’d been in a terrible mood all night, replaying Hakneyeon’s words in her head like an annoying pop song she couldn’t turn off. “You might think you’re fine, but it looks like you’re trying to convince yourself of something that isn’t true.” Who did he think he was, calling her out like that?

And yet, she couldn’t shake the way his words had lingered.

Hakneyeon was already there, unloading boxes of supplies from the truck parked by the stand. His black T-shirt clung to his back as he worked, and Y/N found herself watching him for a second too long. Why does he look like he’s starring in some kind of cologne commercial? she thought, annoyed with herself for noticing.

He turned just as she approached, wiping his brow and flashing her a grin. “Morning, sunshine.”

She rolled her eyes but felt her cheeks heat up anyway. “Do you ever take a day off?”

“Not when there’s work to do,” he replied, setting the box down. “But don’t worry, I saved the fun stuff for you.”

“Fun?” she asked suspiciously.

He pointed to a bucket of soapy water and a stack of rags. “The counters need scrubbing. You’re welcome.”

Y/N stared at the bucket like it had personally insulted her. She was already regretting wearing her cream-colored designer trousers and suede boots, but there was no turning back now.

“This is so not fair,” she muttered under her breath, grabbing a rag and kneeling by the counter.

Ten minutes in, Y/N was a mess. Her elbow knocked over the bucket, spilling soapy water all over the pavement—and her pants. She let out a frustrated groan, looking down at her now soggy, soapy trousers.

Hakneyeon, of course, was biting back laughter. “You okay over there?”

“No, I’m not okay,” she snapped, grabbing another rag and furiously trying to dry herself off. “This is a disaster.”

He crouched next to her, his smile softening. “Hey, it’s just soap. No need to declare a national emergency.”

“You don’t get it,” she huffed. “These pants cost more than this whole stand!”

Hakneyeon raised an eyebrow. “Maybe you shouldn’t wear designer clothes to work at a food stand, then.”

Y/N glared at him but couldn’t come up with a decent comeback. He had a point, even if she hated admitting it.

The rest of the morning was no less chaotic. Y/N somehow managed to burn her hand on the fryer (again), smear ketchup on her blouse, and trip over her own feet while carrying a tray of drinks. Every time, Hakneyeon was there to either tease her or help clean up the aftermath.

Despite her irritation, there were moments when she caught herself smiling. Like when she glanced over and saw Hakneyeon flipping burgers with practiced ease, his hair falling into his eyes as he concentrated. Or when he leaned against the counter during a slow moment, sipping from a water bottle and looking like he belonged in some indie movie about effortlessly cool people.

Why does he have to look so good doing the most mundane things? she thought, trying not to stare.

By lunchtime, Y/N was exhausted. She slumped onto a stool, brushing ketchup off her sleeve with a sigh. Hakneyeon slid a plate of fries in front of her, grinning.

“You’ve earned it,” he said.

“Gee, thanks,” she muttered, but she couldn’t hide the small smile tugging at her lips.

Hakneyeon sat across from her, his gaze thoughtful. “You know, for someone who claims to hate this job, you’ve been showing up every day.”

She looked up, her expression guarded. “I don’t have a choice.”

“Maybe not,” he said, leaning back. “But you’re here. And you’re trying, even if you won’t admit it.”

Y/N didn’t know how to respond. She hated that he saw through her so easily, hated that he made her feel things she wasn’t ready to deal with.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said finally, taking a bite of a fry.

Hakneyeon just smiled, like he knew something she didn’t.

That evening, as she walked home, Y/N found herself passing the same flower vendor from the day before. The red roses still caught her eye, their vibrant petals standing out against the drab surroundings.

Without really thinking, she stopped and bought one.

As she walked the rest of the way home, the rose in her hand, she couldn’t help but feel like it symbolized something. She wasn’t sure what yet, but it was a small reminder that maybe, just maybe, there was more to life than what she had always believed.

She wasn’t ready to change completely. Not yet. But for the first time, she wasn’t entirely opposed to the idea.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

Y/N trudged into the food stand the next morning, designer sunglasses perched on her nose, her hair pinned back with a diamond-studded clip. Even with her usual air of defiance, the familiar sight of the stand—and Hakneyeon’s easy smile—was starting to feel less unbearable. Not that she’d admit it.

“You’re late,” Hakneyeon said, his tone light as he handed her an apron.

“I was accessorizing,” she replied, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “Fashionably late, thank you very much.”

Hakneyeon smirked. “Right. Because this place is so glamorous.”

Y/N rolled her eyes but took the apron without argument. As much as she hated to admit it, she was starting to fall into a routine. Messy, chaotic, and frustrating, sure—but a routine nonetheless.

The morning rush came in waves, with customers lining up for their favorite dishes. Hakneyeon manned the fryer while Y/N took orders, her smile strained but polite.

“Two corndogs, one extra crispy!” she called back, turning to grab the cash from the customer. In her haste, her bracelet snagged on the edge of the counter, sending a stack of napkins flying.

“This is so not fair,” she muttered, scrambling to pick them up as Hakneyeon laughed.

“You okay, calamity queen?” he teased, flipping a corndog onto a tray.

“Don’t start with me,” she warned, though her tone lacked its usual bite.

Still, she couldn’t help but glance at him as he worked. He moved with an effortless confidence, like he belonged here in a way she couldn’t imagine herself ever feeling. And when he smiled at a customer—a genuine, warm smile that reached his eyes—it did something to her she couldn’t explain.

Why does he have to look so good just existing? she thought, shaking her head to snap herself out of it.

By the time the lunch rush hit, Y/N was a walking disaster. She’d spilled mustard on her shoes, burned her finger on the fryer (again), and nearly knocked over an entire tray of drinks. Hakneyeon swooped in every time, his teasing always accompanied by an annoying amount of charm.

“You’re consistent, I’ll give you that,” he said, grinning as he handed her a wet rag to clean the mustard off her pants.

“You’re enjoying this way too much,” she shot back, dabbing at the stain.

“Maybe a little,” he admitted, leaning against the counter as he watched her.

Y/N glared at him but couldn’t hide the tiny smile tugging at her lips. As much as she hated the teasing, there was something about the way Hakneyeon looked at her—like she wasn’t just the spoiled rich girl everyone else saw.

Later that afternoon, Y/N caught him in one of those moments again. He was sweeping up near the counter, his sleeves rolled up, hair slightly messy from the long day. The sunlight streamed through the stand’s awning, catching on his cheekbones and making him look like something out of a romance movie.

She stared for a beat too long, and when he glanced up, their eyes met.

“Something on my face?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No,” she said quickly, turning back to the register. Her cheeks burned as she fumbled with the buttons.

“Uh-huh,” Hakneyeon said, clearly unconvinced but merciful enough not to push.

As the day wound down, Y/N found herself cleaning the counters again—this time without complaint. She still hated the work, but there was something oddly satisfying about the rhythmic motion, about seeing something go from messy to clean.

Hakneyeon was wiping down the fryer nearby, humming a tune under his breath. The sound was low and soothing, blending with the hum of the city outside.

“Do you ever stop?” Y/N asked, breaking the silence.

“Stop what?”

“Being… you,” she said, gesturing vaguely. “All hardworking and cheerful and—ugh.”

Hakneyeon laughed, the sound warm and genuine. “What can I say? Someone’s gotta balance out your drama.”

Y/N rolled her eyes but couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped her. For once, it didn’t feel like he was mocking her—it felt like they were… something close to friends.

As she walked home that evening, Y/N felt the familiar weight of exhaustion, but it wasn’t as crushing as before. She still hated the stand, still missed her old life, but there was a tiny part of her—barely a whisper—that wondered if maybe there was more to this new life than she’d let herself see.

The thought scared her. But it also intrigued her.

And when she found herself smiling at the memory of Hakneyeon’s laugh, she couldn’t deny that something about this whole mess was starting to change her.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

Y/N woke up to the sound of her alarm blaring, her designer watch glinting in the morning sun as she groaned and slapped it off. Every muscle in her body ached from the previous day’s chaos at the food stand. She swung her legs over the side of her bed, catching sight of her scuffed Louboutin heels by the door.

“Great,” she muttered, reaching for her phone. “Another day of ruining everything I own.”

Her wardrobe had been slowly rebelling against her lifestyle change—silk blouses torn, jewelry snagged, and pants stained with sauces she couldn’t pronounce. Yet, for reasons she couldn’t entirely explain, she kept showing up to the stand, stubbornly holding onto the remnants of her old life while reluctantly accepting pieces of the new one.

When she arrived at the stand that morning, Hakneyeon was already there, flipping skewers on the grill with an ease that made her envious.

“You’re late,” he teased without looking up.

“You’re obsessed with my punctuality,” she shot back, tying on her apron.

“Hardly. I’m just trying to figure out if you’re capable of being on time.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, but a small smile tugged at her lips. She didn’t even fight back when Hakneyeon handed her the order pad and pointed to the growing line of customers.

“Let’s see how long it takes for you to mess up today,” he said, grinning.

“This is so not fair,” she muttered, slipping into her usual station.

The day unfolded like a chaotic dance. Y/N tripped over a stray bag of flour, accidentally squirted ketchup onto her new Gucci bracelet, and nearly set a tray of dumplings on fire. Each disaster was accompanied by Hakneyeon’s laughter, which only fueled her determination to prove she could handle it.

“You have mustard on your cheek,” he said at one point, handing her a napkin.

“Where?”

“Left side. No, your other left. Never mind, just—here.”

He reached out, his thumb brushing against her cheek to wipe it away. The touch was brief, almost casual, but it sent an unexpected shiver down her spine.

“Thanks,” she said, avoiding his gaze as she busied herself with refilling the napkin holder.

“No problem,” he replied, his tone lighter than the moment felt.

By the time the lunch rush ended, Y/N was a mess. Her shirt was damp with soda, her jeans had a grease stain, and her hands were covered in remnants of the dishes she’d served. She slumped against the counter, glaring at Hakneyeon, who was effortlessly wiping down the fryer.

“How do you always look so… put together?” she asked, exasperated.

“Years of practice,” he replied, smirking. “And maybe I’m just naturally talented.”

“Or insufferable,” she muttered under her breath, though her lips twitched into a reluctant smile.

Hakneyeon chuckled, tossing the rag onto the counter. “Come on. Let’s grab some air.”

The two of them sat on the curb outside the stand, sipping on bottled water and watching the bustle of the city. For once, the silence between them wasn’t uncomfortable.

“You’ve improved, you know,” Hakneyeon said suddenly, glancing at her.

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “At what? Making a mess?”

“At sticking with it,” he said, his tone surprisingly sincere. “Most people would’ve quit by now. But you’re still here.”

She looked down at her lap, fiddling with her bracelet. “Yeah, well… quitting isn’t really an option.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t have anything else,” she admitted softly, the words surprising even herself.

Hakneyeon didn’t respond right away, and when she finally looked up, she saw him watching her with an expression she couldn’t quite place.

“You’re stronger than you think,” he said after a moment.

Y/N laughed, though it came out more bitter than amused. “Tell that to my shoes.”

Hakneyeon smiled, nudging her shoulder with his. “I’m serious. You’ve got more fight in you than you give yourself credit for. You just need to stop fighting yourself so much.”

She didn’t know how to respond to that, so she didn’t. Instead, she let the words sit with her as they watched the world pass by, the quiet between them somehow feeling heavier and lighter all at once.

As the day came to an end, Y/N found herself lingering at the stand, wiping down counters long after the last customer had left. Hakneyeon was busy locking up, humming a tune under his breath as he double-checked the register.

“Why do you do this?” she asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

“Do what?”

“This,” she said, gesturing around the stand. “The food stand. The long hours. The chaos.”

Hakneyeon paused, considering her question. “Because it makes people happy,” he said simply. “And because I like it. It’s honest work.”

“Honest work,” she repeated, the words tasting foreign on her tongue.

“Yeah,” he said, smiling at her. “You should try it sometime.”

She laughed, shaking her head. “This is so not fair.”

Hakneyeon’s grin widened, but he didn’t press further. Instead, he handed her the keys to lock up, stepping aside as if to say, It’s your turn now.

And for the first time, Y/N didn’t argue.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

Y/N stood in front of the food stand, staring up at its bright, colorful sign as if seeing it for the first time. She adjusted her apron, a little worn out but now something she wore with pride, and smoothed her expensive designer pants out of habit. The shoes she’d once insisted on keeping pristine were now scuffed, but they’d carried her through this journey. She hardly noticed anymore.

For the first time in months, Y/N didn’t feel out of place here. She fit.

Haknyeon appeared from the back, wiping his hands on a towel, the late afternoon sunlight catching in his hair and making him look unfairly handsome. His smile was casual but warm as he approached, the kind of smile that still gave her butterflies despite all their time together.

“You’re early,” he teased, tossing the towel aside.

“Better early than late,” Y/N quipped, grinning. “Besides, someone has to make sure you don’t mess everything up before the rush.”

“Oh, so you’re the expert now?” Haknyeon countered, leaning on the counter, his face inches from hers.

“I think I’ve earned the title.” She playfully tapped his nose with her finger before stepping back, trying to hide the way her heart raced whenever he got too close.

The past few weeks had been an unspoken shift between them. They weren’t just co-workers or reluctant allies anymore. They were… something more. Something Y/N couldn’t quite put into words yet but felt in every lingering glance, every accidental brush of their hands, and every quiet moment they shared when the stand closed for the night.

“You know,” Haknyeon started, his tone softer now, “I don’t say this enough, but you’ve really come a long way, Y/N. You’re not the same girl who almost burned her shoes in the fryer.”

“Hey!” Y/N smacked his arm lightly, though she couldn’t help but laugh. “That was one time.”

“One time too many,” he teased, his laughter joining hers.

The late afternoon rush started to pick up, customers crowding the stand and filling the air with energy. Y/N moved quickly, handing out orders with a confidence that felt natural now. Haknyeon worked beside her, the two moving in sync like they’d been doing this for years.

When the last customer left and the evening quiet settled in, Y/N leaned against the counter, her hair slightly messy and her apron stained but her smile brighter than ever. Haknyeon stood beside her, his own face lit up in the glow of the stand’s neon sign.

“So,” he said, breaking the silence, “what’s next for you?”

Y/N thought for a moment, gazing out at the street. “I don’t know. For the first time, I’m okay not knowing. I kind of like it here.”

“Yeah?” Haknyeon’s voice was hopeful, his gaze steady on her.

“Yeah.” Y/N turned to him, her smile softening. “I used to think this was the worst thing that could’ve happened to me, but now…” She hesitated, her voice dropping to a near whisper. “Now, I think it’s the best thing.”

Haknyeon stepped closer, his hand brushing against hers on the counter. “You’re not the only one who thinks that.”

The moment hung in the air, thick with tension but also something lighter—something that made Y/N’s heart pound in her chest.

“This is so not fair,” she murmured, her voice catching.

“What isn’t?” Haknyeon asked, his brows knitting together.

“You,” she said, her words coming out in a rush. “You looking at me like that. You being here. You… making me feel this way.”

Haknyeon’s lips quirked into a small, knowing smile. “I guess life has a funny way of being unfair sometimes.”

Before she could think, he leaned in, his lips brushing against hers in a kiss that was soft but filled with every unspoken word between them. Y/N froze for a moment, then melted into him, her hands finding their way to his shoulders.

When they finally pulled apart, Haknyeon rested his forehead against hers. “I’ve been waiting to do that for weeks.”

Y/N laughed, her cheeks flushing. “Well, you sure took your time.”

“I didn’t think you were ready,” he admitted, his voice low.

“I wasn’t,” she said honestly. “But now, I think I am.”

As they stood there, bathed in the neon glow of the stand that had brought them together, Y/N realized that maybe life wasn’t about being fair. It was about taking what it gave you and finding the moments that made it all worthwhile.

And in that moment, with Haknyeon’s arms around her, she felt like she’d found exactly that.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

[new-holocene]

ode to abandoned projects

normally i dedicate my public facing social media accounts solely to sharing my finished artwork, but I figure some reflection on the past few years of my development as an artist would be worthwhile. I was initially trying to find an old gmod map I made (I didn't find it), and in the process I found a number of screenshots of WIPs spanning the past 7 years. for many of these projects, they were abandoned because I got too busy with school/university.

from march 2017. made in unity. I don't remember the specifics of this project. I think I was trying to make a short narrative walking sim.

from december 2017. I wanted to make a short smw romhack. I remember drawing level designs on a spare piece of paper after finishing a secondary school exam early. one day I'll make a romhack, one day...

from may 2018. I had just replayed marble blast ultra after finding it had a PC port. shortly after I found all the textures were just in the game files and could be modified easily. myself and an old friend wanted to make a 'games repainted'-esque mod. I claim full credit for every marble game since that's included a 🤔marble skin.

from march 2020. a mockup of a piece I was calling 'alignment chart' for the first time I had ever applied for a bursary. this used a mixture of generative art pieces i made in processing and graphic design. this piece is interesting to look back on because it marked the development of my art style for the first time, and the psuedo-cuneiform generator ended up being a recurring feature of my art. my application was rejected because i did not read the terms and conditions to realise it wasn't open to university students - and I was still studying computer science at the time.

from may 2020. I was aiming to participate in the low res game jam but never got to finish due to university work taking up my time. I never fleshed out the mechanics of the game, but the goal was to take care of the tree in the center of the map. it doesn't look like much, but I really pushed myself (or rather, tortured myself) by not using a game engine and writing this in C++ with raylib instead.

from april 2020. this was going to be a browser based demake of five nights at freddy's (a game I've never played and have no interest in) titled "five years at yanderedev's". I figured that it felt too close to participating in lolcowing someone and that it was in bad spirits, so I scrapped it.

from september 2020. a mockup of my homepage sharpfourth.net. I kept the logo and general layout for whats on the site currently, but didn't include the scanner warped images.

from october 2020. I wanted to make a walking sim in the quake engine, but once again, university work got in the way. however, this got me familiar with the basics of using trenchbroom (a map editor for quake), which came in very, very handy for later projects.

from october 2021. myself and some close friends had planned to make a zine detailing how to do DIY feminising HRT in Ireland (and maybe the UK). we never got around to writing it (partly because we feared potential legal repercussions for disseminating medical advice lol), but this marked a further development of my art style.

from october 2021. I had hoped to make a first person RPG in godot. once again scrapped because I got too busy with uni. I spent ages trying to implement a wonky movement system that could be exploited, being inspired by bhopping from source or strafe jumping from quake. the dialogue system was the last thing I worked on. I used trenchbroom again - this time with qodot - for making the prototype map. while making this demo, I realised the potential use of godot and trenchbroom in visual art, something i would revisit during my first gallery residency.

from march 2022. this might be the most unassuming piece in this collection, but it marks a significant turning point in my life. I was tasked with making diagrams for a group project in uni, but given that I was facing extreme burnout and apathy towards the course, I instead "doodled" with the elements of the diagram. this spiraled into me writing my zine/short-story EATARTHU, which I then used to apply for a gallery residency. I was fortunate enough to get the residency, and I dropped out of college to pursue art.

as discouraging as it might be to constantly start and abandon projects, it's important to stop and remember that ever single abandoned game or drawing or album or whatever marked a chance for you to learn and develop as an artist. one day you might very well finish a project, and it'll reflect a bit of every single abandoned one of its precursors.

[vasyandii]

🦋: How long did it take them to get out of the awkward early relationship stage? Have they gotten more confident around each other?

💔: Do they have any previous relationship experience from past partners? How does it reflect on how they handle their current one?

🕊️: Give just a general domestic tidbit for em (things they like about each other, routines, habits, and just overall sweet stuff)

For Krueger and Nak!

Great to see you again One horned beast!!The Ask Game

🦋How long did it take to get out of the awkward early relationship stage? Have they gotten more confident around each other?

Honestly? A week. It would've been shorter if they went official off the bat.

Nak didn't know how to respond to romantic affection. Her confusion with where they stood on their relationship (at the time unlabeled) was also a factor. Krueger is more laid back, he just did whatever felt right, and wanted to prioritize just having her comfortable with him in that way. (Idk if that makes sense)

They're more comfortable around each other now than they are when they started going out.

💔 Do they have any previous relationship experience from past partners? How does it reflect on how they handle their current one?

Nak? None. Krueger's her only relationship experience LMAO what a loser /j . She didn't really have crushes or interest in anyone but herself back in Laos. The couples she saw around during her time in the LPAF gave her insight in how a good and bad relationship is supposed to be (basically living vicariously lol). So when she started being in a relationship with Krueger, she mimicked what she saw in the past before she found her own pace.

Krueger has had a few relationships in the past, but mostly preferred to stay single for longer periods of time. He didn't like how people would change the moment there was romantic feelings involved, and expectations of just having to be "the stoic mysterious lover thats closed off" irked him. With Phayvanh he didn't want that; he wants to be able to be silly around her in the way they usually are, she's one of his best friends. Luckily it came easy with her, their pace was similar in practice :3

🕊️ Give just a general domestic tidbit for em (things they like about each other, routines, habits, and just overall sweet stuff)

I already Answered this in the last ask but I'm gonna do it again in more detail >:D !! I Love these!!

If Nak has a broken arm, Krueger ties her hair up for her, sometimes he switches up the ponytail to have it be braids or a half up half down type of thing. (It takes everything in him to not give her the most atrocious hairstyle)

The way they drink tea is so vastly different. Nak drinks hers with nothing while Krueger puts too much sugar in his

Just Admiring each other's tattoos idk they're dumb. Nak is fond of the one on his stomach, but makes fun of the one on his back (the wolf one). Krueger just idly traces the designs of Nak's tattoos on her back with his fingers.

Just??? One randomly smacks the others ass HARD and runs off so the other chases after them?? Weirdos. (Nak is guilty of this)

This interaction:

"Phayvanh it's 8 in the morning."

"What about it."

"Put on a shirt."

"Put on some pants."

"You're flashing me."

"You're flashing me!"

Then they watched TV.

Thank you for reading :D it's been a while since I've done stuff explaining their dynamics so hopefully it's ok ;u;

[bluemoonpunch]

Relationship Reading for Choi San and Jung Wooyoung - Tarot Reading

[This reading covers the relationship dynamic between Choi San and Jung Wooyoung on a subconscious and energetic level. This particular reading can cover romantic, platonic, and familial relationships and is designed to put a connection between two people into perspective, showcasing what is gained from the relationship and what the highest potential of the connection is. I used The Linestrider’s Journey Tarot for this reading. This spread is an original design by me. This reading lasted less than 1 hour.]

Reading Performed: July 4, 2024

Posted: July 13, 2024

Back in November/December of 2023, I had random hyperfixation on ATEEZ for a solid month or so — I heard Bouncy and it was all downhill from there. My dumb ass, as always, started reading in on their energy and there were some interesting things that came through the first time I watched the MV for Bouncy, and came to find out, I did readings on a couple of the members back in 2018 and some of that same energy was coming through. It was really interesting because I recognized it, saw it so clearly, and then found out I wrote about the exact same imagery years ago. That led to me SPIRALING and basically breaking down the entire group's current state, purpose, past lives, bla bla bla, the whole thing. Like, I was going to write a 50-page report on all of it because it was genuinely fascinating what was coming through and how it was seemingly showing up in their personal development and work now.

Depression and physical health issues hit, so I never did write anything, but I saw some really, really, really interesting stuff for San and Wooyoung that suggests an isolated lifetime centered on healing and protection that stems from issues that arose in a past life where Wooyoung would have been on his own due to necessary soul development that was needed in order to occupy the same space as San on a higher level. Quite literally, it looked like they were just casually fucking around on Earth for centuries, popped out, and realized they couldn’t go where they wanted to go together without Wooyoung’s soul experiencing more development, so they threw him back in on his own in a hyper-compressed incarnation cycle and things just didn't go well.

That lifetime, which was actually an incarnation cycle of three lifetimes back to back, ended up being quite negative and left “scars” on the souls of everyone involved. I really could write a whole other thing about all of this, I have a ridiculous amount of notes on it because out of everyone, they have the most interestingly deep soul connection I have ever seen out of all the readings I have ever done. Like, they are literally here to do nothing else but heal Wooyoung’s soul and balance energy — balancing energy and healing seems to be the group’s collective “purpose,” although they seem to have given themselves this purpose. They are not, as I’ve seen it, “on the roster,” but are to be influential, especially as individuals.

For San and Wooyoung, when I first watched the video I was like, oh they definitely have some vibes together, don’t they? And then I found out that San is a Cancer and Wooyoung is a Sagittarius. I have, FOR YEARSSSS, wanted to analyze a pair made up of a Cancer and Sagittarius because I’ve always found their reflective energies together to be so interesting. You have Cancer, Cardinal Water, Firery Water, boiling water, a spewing geyser, and Sagittarius, Mutable Fire, Watery Fire, flowing fire, an erupting volcano. They’re quite literally the SAME energies, visually they line up, they just erupt from different spaces. Fire and Water are the most difficult elements to balance, but Cancer and Sagittarius have an inherent balance within them between Water and Fire, although it can make them a bit temperamental and sensitive.

To me, it always felt like a Cancer and Sagittarius would simply have to hate each other until there was just one split second where they both happened to “erupt” at the same time, express something from within at the same time, and suddenly they’re like, “oh, you’re me, i’m you” and then it’s just best friends forever. And that’s basically what I saw between them when looking at their energetic connections now within this lifetime.

For the sake of not getting too wild off the bat, I will just focus on what came through in this reading alone, but if anyone is interested, I will GLADLY unload all of what I have for ATEEZ down the line.

Overall Energy

As expected, Healing and Regeneration are at the head of the overall energy between them. Healing and protection are extremely strong links for them that are rooted in the soul. So deeply rooted that this may feel more instinctual for them at this point than emotional or mental. Healing represents the energy, while Regeneration marks where and how that energy is being used. It gives me the sense of the souls re-expanding after experiencing a few downfalls, especially on Wooyoung’s side where, as I mentioned, he has acquired some pretty deep soul scars from past lifetimes.

Discovery (Mercury in Sagittarius) and the Lunar Eclipse both give this incredible sense of conscious level expansion to match with the expansion of their souls. They could explore spiritual things together, or discuss personal philosophy with each other. This is very focused between the two of them and gives me the sense of them being able to holds a “birs’s eye view” when they ponder things together, as if their vision becomes clearer through the other, allowing them to understand themselves, each other, and the world much easier when they seek it out together.

The Queen of Cups at the end there grounds a lot of this energy into a more physical and conscious place, but still highlights the strong soul connection and suggests tightly woven emotional bonds as well. One of the keywords with this card is “devotion” which suits them well on all levels of connection.

Before we get to the main reading, I just want to point out how INSANE it is that the mirrored state of their souls showed up in this reading so clearly. I really do want to do a deepdive post on them at some point because everything that I’ve seen for them has honestly blown my mind, and their cards here just add to that.

San’s Projection: Ten of Wands (rev.) Wooyoung’s Projection: Ten of Swords (rev.)

This set marks the energy that San and Wooyoung individually project into their relationship with each other. This is purely an energetic projection and may not reflect emotional or mental connections. Here, San is projecting the reversed Ten of Wands while Wooyoung is projecting the reversed Ten of Swords. These are the “bad 10s” in tarot, both holding quite a lot of pain, frustration and even death in their upright positions. There may be a display here of conflict between the soul and the conscious level aspects as both of these cards essentially are in denial of themselves, but seemingly for the sake of each other.

Tens mark the end, and when reversed, that end is being denied or something isn’t being brought to completion. On San’s end, the focus is on Wands, Fire, energy, and matters of the body, while Wooyoung’s focuses on Swords, Air, thoughts and communication, and matters of the mind. It displays a set dynamic where San is the body and Wooyoung is the mind, which is somewhat similar to what I saw of their souls in a state before they started incarnating on Earth. On a conscious and physical level, this settles more as physical and mental burdens they both share partially being withheld from the other.

Essentially, it’s like the reversed state of these cards came by two hands. For example, if San is feeling physically unwell he may hide it from Wooyoung to not worry him, but Wooyoung may also be someone he wants to be around when he’s not feeling well. Therefore there could be a kind of secret nurturing where sometimes they have to ask each other or very directly express their negative states to each other, and other times they can care for each other without much talking at all. So, in some aspects, they reverse their own cards, and in others, they reverse each other. Either way, they will never get to a breaking point, they will never hit a physical or mental “rock bottom” so long as they have the other to balance them.

To explain the cards more, the Ten of Wands, when upright, traditionally features someone carrying a lot of sticks (Wands/Fire/Energy) towards a destination that is quite far away in the background of the image. In the Rider-Waite deck, the man in the image is shown to really be struggling, hunched over with his face buried in the sticks as he tries to keep hold of them. In the image in this deck, it’s shown as a young girl who has collapsed on the ground with a bag of sticks on her back as she stares at her destination in the background.

It’s physical overwhelm or overexertion that puts a lot of strain on the body. This card can have a positive side to it as it can suggest that whatever overwhelming or strenuous situation you are in right now may come to an end soon, but when it is reversed, it’s more so allowing yourself to drop those sticks and take a breather. This can be positive as you can catch your breath and regain some energy, but in other situations, reversals here could line up with someone giving up just before they’re about to hit their finish line.

For San, I really feel this in a literal way where there is overexertion on the body, or a tendency to overdo physical activity, especially in a stressed state, and either for Wooyoung’s sake, or with the help of Wooyoung, he pulls that energy down, grounds himself, and sort of tempers his own Fire. It’s making me think of someone who would work out quite hard for hours, and then finish up with a grounding meditation. I will say that San’s soul, where it stems from, is a very high place, his energy is very high frequency and with that, it can be quite hard to hold that energy in the body. A lot of movement or bodily focus is necessary for him to stay grounded, so this may be connected to that as well.

The Ten of Swords, when upright, traditionally shows a man lying dead on a shoreline with ten swords in his back. In the background, we can see the sky either clearing or gathering in a storm, and the sun either rising or setting in the background. As Swords relate to Air energy, thoughts and communication, logic, and harsh reality, the Ten of Swords marks an undeniable end, one you can’t alleviate or run from. This can have a lot to do with anxiety and depression, as well as negative self-image if you can imagine the swords as your own thoughts and the body as yourself.

As I’ve seen in past explorations with them, both in past lives (and out-of-body lives) and the current lifetime, Wooyoung seems to have quite a bit of mental weight to him, but it’s not necessarily observational, as in it’s not so much that he’s thinking a lot, it’s like he takes in a lot of what is around him, what he hears, what he sees, and he holds onto it. The image of the Ten of Swords here in this deck is more so accurate to what I feel for Wooyoung.

In the image, a deer (I think) is shown to have been shot by many arrows and is twisted in pain. Those arrows could be equated to the words and actions of other people that Wooyoung carries with him. This can reflect his soul state with the soul scarring, as well as his current state where there does seem to be some sensitivity and maybe some personal insecurity to him.

They hide from each other a little bit, they hide this stress from each other, but at the same time it’s kind of impossible to do such a thing when they are so closely linked that you could argue they may be able to read each other's minds. They hide these states from each other, but at the same time, they each help the other to maintain and balance these quite heavy energies and keep them from ever reaching a true breaking point.

How San Sees Wooyoung: Nine of Cups + Ace of Cups How Wooyoung Sees San: Ace of Pentacles + Nine of Pentacles

This was the most insane part of the reading for me. The mirrored Tens already had me like O.O, and then this shit came out and I was like, what the fuck am I even supposed to do with this??

This set covers how, based on the current state and their projections, they see each other within their relationship. San sees Wooyoung as the Nine of Cups and the Ace of Cups, while Wooyoung sees San as the Nine of Pentacles and Ace of Pentacles. I find it interesting that while they are “hiding” their Tens from each other, they actively acknowledge and seem to praise each other at their peaks with these Nines. What’s even more fun is that in these suits, Cups and Pentacles, the Tens are some of the most positive cards in the deck, and with these Aces here, it almost feels like they look at each other as if they have the ingredients to make the Ten of Pentacles and the Ten of Cups — Ace (1) + Nine.

Here, they also seem to really acknowledge each other as a counterpart, someone they balance with, or someone who has what they are missing. Wooyoung, who may experience a bit more emotional and mental turmoil, looks to San as this space of stability and support, a strong foundation based in Earth energy with the Pentacles. There’s an admiration through the Nine of Pentacles for how independent he is and how well he is able to accomplish what he sets out to do. San, who seems to be a bit more physically oriented for the sake of staying grounded, sees Wooyoung as this flowing energy, seeing him as having more Water to him. A strong, open sensitivity that he finds fulfilling and relaxing. There’s an appreciation here for creativity and fluidity as well.

My favorite thing about this, is that as they acknowledge each other as counterparts through these energies, they are essentially blending Earth and Water energy. Similar to Water and Fire, Water and Earth can be a bit tricky to mix as you can destabilize Earth with Water, or dry out and absorb Water with Earth. In its perfect balance, however, as it is displayed here with these mirrored energies, Water and Earth come together to create clay. Something, energy, that can be shaped and molded at will into anything. Combining that with an element of balance between Divine Masculine energy on San’s side and Divine Feminine energy on Wooyoung’s side, you basically have two people who, when working together, are a magic wand away from being The Magician, a master manifestor.

In other words, anything they create together or work on together where they can focus on each other could be considered magic in the sense that they would have quite a lot of ease in bringing their visions to life while working together.

Current State of The Relationship: The Lovers Highest Potential: Ten of Pentacles

Here, The Lovers came out to represent the current state of their relationship, while the Ten of Pentacles popped out to showcase the highest potential of their relationship going forward. I put them together because what it looks like to me is that the Lovers represent the soul connection while the Ten of Pentacles represent that soul connection being completely integrated into the physical and conscious levels. They’re already there pretty much, perhaps that’s the significance of the Nines and Aces combos, but this suggests that they’re supposed to get to that higher state and integrate more of those higher aspects.

In one of the many readings I did for them, I did see, especially for San as his soul is quite BIG energetically speaking, that there were multiple stages of soul integration that he would experience in this lifetime that would be marked by alterations of the body — found out a bit later that he did bulk up quite a bit over the last few years, so I assume, especially when it comes to the need to ground into the physical through the actual body, that this is reflective of that. Wooyoung doesn’t have as much to integrate, but his soul is still occupying a much higher state than he is right now on a conscious level. The integration for Wooyoung may be noticeable in drastic changes regarding self-perception, self-esteem, and how he operates or expresses himself artistically.

As this entire lifetime is very self-focused (focused on each other) for the two of them, specifically in the realm of healing Wooyoung and progressing his soul a bit more so that he can join San out of body on a more well-matched level, it makes sense that potentially the Ten of Pentacles here marks, in its entirety, the completion of this lifetime with all that they set out to do being accomplished. The current state of The Lovers implies personal alignment, but in this context, reflects their deep soul unity and recognition of each other as soul counterparts (the term "soulmate" doesn’t quite capture how significant this connection actually is).

The Lovers, on a soul level, based on the traditional Rider-Waite image, showcases personal inner alignment of the layers of consciousness — conscious, subconscious, unconscious — through the images of Adam, Eve, and the Angel Raphael. Adam represents the conscious mind that looks to Eve, the receptive, intuitive subconscious, who looks to the Higher Self, the higher unconscious mind represented by the Angel.

In addition to that, Adam and Eve stand in as representatives of the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine as Eve, the force of Life, stands in front of a flourishing tree and Adam, the force of destruction or deconstruction, stands in front of a burning tree. When they are in balance, Life and Death dance happily, but if Adam looks away from Eve, if the Divine Masculine loses sight of the Divine Feminine, it loses connection to its own soul, stagnates, and becomes destructive toward the surrounding environment. If Eve disconnects from either side, she can become destructive toward herself.

The Lovers card in this deck here shows San and Wooyoung as these counterparts, Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine, being in perfect sync with each other, implying that within themselves they hold that personal alignment, and are able to meet each other on all levels. This is what makes soul integration possible for them and is what is fueling the soul healing that Wooyoung is experiencing in this lifetime.

*More readings at bluemoonpunch.com!

[trees-be-drawing]

Within my downward spiral, I will say I found some fanfictions that actually encouraged me to draw some moomin stuff. Mostly descriptions on how people describe Snufkin.

I remember last time I drew Snufkin was probably… 2-4 years ago? And I wasn’t a fan of how I drew him and Moomin in particular cuz I wasn’t used to drawing creatures very much, so stopped drawing Moomins for a good while. Now I think I’m doing better at it and I’m pretty happy with my interpretation of this version of Snufkin.

So the first fic is called “The Spirit of Moominvalley”

The premise is Snufkin acts as a guardian spirit of Moominvalley. It has Little My swearing a lot, and only one “fuck” from Snufkin I think. The author also said they felt they made Snufkin too mean, but honestly, I find it to be understandable when you get the context of why he started being so mean later in the fanfic.

It’s also pretty tragic but the thing that got me was how they described this “alter ego” of Snufkin. I’m very into lanky tall creature designs so it got me wanting to draw it.

And thus here it is!

I wish I could color it but I’m not at all too confident in it. Same as with my drawings. But at the same time, I feel it would ruin what I try to draw traditionally.

I do have another fic I’ll be drawing as well so look forward to that.

I’m pretty proud of how I drew Snufkin, and pretty happy with Moomin too. He looks like an adorable marshmallow :3

So… Spoilers for the fic:

I hope I did the alter ego design okay… I really liked the detail where they described his arms and neck having scarring with flowers blooming within and drawing it made me happy. But I feel I didn’t make him taller or intimidating enough… originally I had a sketch for it but erased it and redrew it to how it currently looks cuz I thought the drawing was too small.

I also wish I drew his neck having those flower scarring. Originally I wanted to but it made me wonder how I should draw the top half of his body as well. I had an idea where the scarring outlines his rib cage and up towards his neck cuz normally, in an avalanche, it doesn’t just break bones, but you actually die from suffocation and carbon dioxide poisoning because of being stuck underneath an avalanche. So I was thinking to draw the scarring around the ribs to reflect that. But since the fic only described his arms and neck having that scarring (and he was probably wearing a tunic to cover his chest… they weren’t too clear on what kind of clothes he wore besides his scarf, hat and coat though) I decided to just leave it.

Anyway those are my thoughts. I hope you like what I drew :)