#and shenanigans in general of course
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jadecantcreate ¡ 2 months ago
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the stage kiss that should’ve been a real kiss…romance of the millennium, kremy and gi— i mean…..…ragnarachel and ragnaross *exaggerated torbek wink*
requested by @nb-person !
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buttercupart ¡ 10 months ago
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timeskip Molly concepts - probably when she's around 16-17 ish, maybe even early college? ( I'm not a big fan of the "ooh the bubbly character gets older and is now SUPER SAD" trope so this is more like... Molly is still Molly, she just gets older and faces more hardships/life stressors that come with age, and struggles to maintain the same high level of positivity/resiliency she used to have )
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doubledyke ¡ 3 months ago
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i know it's probably a bad idea to date someone based on a shared hyperfixation but i really wanna date someone based on a shared hyperfixation
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glucosegaurdian ¡ 5 months ago
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I’m back! Not dead! (Mostly) and bringing forth the chaos of my favorite Koby fic!
I’ve been sitting on these for a bit now, mostly because hyperfixation is a bitch and I fell off the one piece boat for a good week there, but they’re colored and I’m shaking with the need to post!
also, tw below cut, consensual vivisection?
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Okay! I’m good now! I leave to crawl back into my hole for another week and a half before emerging again with more art! :)
@cemeteryguy hey! It’s been a while! :))
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minecraft-sideblog-tm ¡ 2 years ago
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One of my favorite things so far on this season of Hermitcraft is still just that episode of Zedaph’s when he gave an unconscious (afk) Tango several achievements before Zed and Grian dragged Tango across the server and caused a shulker infestation just to give him one more
Bonus points for the fact that Tango always has the replay mod on and got 3rd-person footage of then entire thing
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annapoofle ¡ 1 year ago
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I found it weirdly jarring that ganymede just got his chalice back and went right back to his job. It seemed like the whole story was building up to him quitting and somehow taking control of his life back? Idk I know it's a tall task but that didn't seem like an unrealistically optimistic expectation to have for the end of the book
Like I know this was intended as a somewhat relaxing meandering adventure for the tlt trio but the fact that it ended with them having accomplished virtually nothing was still a little surprising. Am I making any sense
Yeah there's a chance they'll circle back to the problem later in the trilogy (which. 0_0 still processing THAT announcement...) but I'm not betting on it
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emmodii-mode ¡ 1 year ago
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Just finished my first playthrough of BG3. Romanced Lae'zel, but ending up turning into an Illithid because the idea of making Orpheus or Karlach do it didn't sit well with me (or my character).
I told Lae'zel to leave with Orpheus in the end (I heard she wouldn't stay with a ghaik anyway, which she's valid for, but also, it doesn't feel right to ask her to stay when I know how much her people mean to her). And like-
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Her face before she flies off---
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She looks so heartbroken and sad.
#emmodii rambles#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate series#lae'zel#spoilers#i don't regret my choices and i do love a good angsty story. but at the same time... OOF.#may you find a new source of joy in the astral realm my queen :'(#for anyone curious- i played a githyanki which i heard is the only race that can fly off with her or something?#but well. again- didn't quite fit my character to have someone else turn instead pfffft#ALSO HE'S A CLERIC OF ILMATER AND A REDEEMED DARK URGE. self-sacrifice is kiNDA TO BE EXPECTED HAHAHA.#anyway- do give romancing lae'zel a shot guys. she may be a hardass at first but it's really because she cares a lot#also slightly off-topic but as a dark urge gith... durge grew up in a city so like. wonder how out of place they woulda felt with the#other githyankis anyway. i think i read somewhere that a gith durge realises they don't really feel connected to creches and stuff#which is interesting and makes me curious about how exactly they were made. cuz they have the traits and knowledge of the race but didn't#grow up with them. i guess the easiest answer would be 'god magic shenanigans' but STILL.#trust me to overthink things hahaha XD#if anyone's curious what happened to my guy in the end--- we followed wyll and karlach to avernus hahaha#what are the devils gonna do? steal the soul we don't have?? TRY IT BITCH#of course i did reload multiple times to have my character kill himself. because that was another option that felt possible for his charact#...and also because i wanted to see how companions would react to it. krewfjewlkrjewklrjewl- although the narration for durge suicide#is also quite interesting! of course maybe that's just me being mentally ill eff (/lh) but having a kill that isn't going to murder daddy?#gives a redeemed durge some control and a final say at last. which is still sad but a nice way to tie up their death methinks#ANYWAY- time to go find a way to convert him into a full-on OC. elves and dwarves are one thing but giths are blatantly dnd so i'mma have#to figure that out for my own story lore and universe--- some kinda new species? humanify him? or convert to another existing general speci#hmm hmm hmmmmmmmmmm-#emmodii plays bg3
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abyssal-ali ¡ 1 year ago
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Working on my Burned my Wings epilogue (Dami POV) and I suddenly had a beautiful crack idea. Talia adopts Jason and Dami gets a big brother, right?
(In another universe thats not the BMW-verse): When Damian goes to Gotham, he gets two/three big brothers and 3 big sisters. Adoption is just how he obtains siblings. He was too little to have the birds and bees talk at the League, and the Bats see him as a baby (he is) so he never gets any Talk (even when he gets older. He is still Baby.)
Basically, he believes in the stork-- except the stork is adoption/your parent bringing home a random child and going "meet your new sibling".
Shenanigans of some sort ensue.
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languri ¡ 3 months ago
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I cant afford therapy so I decide to make an s/i oc just to make myself happy 🥲 i can finally daydream in peace
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detectivenyx ¡ 2 years ago
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yeah i think momoharu was a last minute asspull that contributed very little to the plot and maki had shown no romantic inclinations to kaito previously and could've been an entirely platonic take on the plot and that was what i meant by forced heterosexuality when i did that video back in 2020. yeah i also like momoharu as a romantic ship. we exist
#someone bitched at me for doing it and said 'UHHH U PRAISED KUZUPEKO U HYPOCRITE'#kuzupeko had YEARS of history between them and yet still ended on an ambiguous note#'I need you! Don't leave me!' still breaks my HEART.#it doesn't betray the exact specifics of fuyuhiko's feelings to peko#romantic? platonic? unimportant. but she is important to him.#not as a tool or a hitman or as a worker but as an equal. as a friend.#and barring maybe natsumi. he is the only one in the yakuza clan who treats her as an equal.#peko's whole Thing proves that the way she was raised in the kuzuryuu household was exclusively as a human meatshield#a hitman. a bodyguard. his sword and shield. and it was instilled into her at such a young age from the older people around her#that she still genuinely believes it. that she is only a tool to him.#and if they had kept it ambiguous for maki and kaito. i think it would've been better.#it could've kept focus on maki's arc and learning to trust others and open her heart.#the realisation that over the course of the Shenanigans kaito had become important to her#and it was up to audiences to determine interpretation.#it probably was intended to purposefully suck like this honestly.#but i just hate all of chapter 5 v3 in general and im glad chapter 6 managed to salvage that great of an ending from that dumpster fire#but uh yea there's the difference.#still ship them both.#sdr2 spoilers#ndrv3 spoilers#kuzupeko#momoharu#fuyuhiko kuzuryuu#peko pekoyama#maki harukawa#kaito momota#sdr2#ndrv3
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earmo-imni ¡ 4 months ago
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Fun fact: there was actually a Legolas in the First Age. He lived in Gondolin. He was Noldorin and moved to Tol EressĂŤa, though.
Listen-
I know, I KNOW, that Legolas wasn’t around in the first age or years of the trees, but wouldn’t it be so fucking funny if he was?!? And if he just… never mentions it?
Like, he’ll tell the twins about going to lakes with his cousin to cool down and escape her controlling father, and the peredhells think “ok, alright, makes sense” but Legolas conveniently leaves out that the cousin is fuckin’ LUTHIEN.
Legolas: ngl, i miss some of the old recipes we used to have back in the day, but i just can’t find any Kwesumdam plants any more 😢.
The peredhels: yeah, that sucks, i imagine that the darkness must have destroyed them.
Legolas, thinking: *why did the sun have to spawn and burn all those delicious plants away with it’s light!?!*
And they don’t find out untill they’re in valinor, when legolas is describing an event that took place that he was part of, while remaining his usual ambiguous self, and an elf from doriath overhears and goes “oh yeah, i remember that! It caused one hell of an uproar…” and everyone collectively looses their shit.
Peredhels: HOLD ON, THAT WAS WHEN?!? YOU WERE WHERE WHEN?!? DORIATH!?!
Legolas: i thought you knew? Who did you think my cousin was?
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yyuangss ¡ 6 months ago
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GIRL TALK ! ( STAR RAIL MEN )
SUMMARY ! march 7th finds out you like someone. and as your best friend, it’s only right that she has to give her input on whether or not she approves of him.
NOTES ! i was in the mood to write something but this was last minute and this was all i could come up with 🤺 may do a part two featuring other star rail men but we will see. part two of girl talk (gepard, dr. ratio, aventurine, and boothill)
TAGS ! reader is not the trailblazer. contains dan heng, caelus, sampo koski, jing yuan, and argenti. feelings are mutual on both ends.
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march 7th’s thoughts on . . . DAN HENG !
immediately tells you that she already had her suspicions. and now that you confirmed it, it makes her all that more excited. you having a crush on dan heng is just what she expected. she’ll go on and on about how you two would make a great couple because he opens up more to you. now she gets a little sneaky and begins to make up excuses whenever missions come around so that the two of you can go together. it’s her own way of being a mastermind. the more time you two spend together, the closer she is to seeing you and dan heng start dating. yes, march has dubbed herself as your personal wingwoman. so is the duty of being your best friend.
march 7th’s thoughts on . . . CAELUS !
of course she finds it cute that you have a crush on caelus. and it all makes sense to her now. she constantly hears you and caelus making the same kind of jokes, watches you two play games together on your phones, and on rare occasions, she’ll find you rummaging through trash cans with caelus. though she doesn’t know why you’d go to such lengths and go through the trash cans with him. admitting your feelings for the newest trailblazer will only make march relentlessly tease you about it in the best way possible. so whenever caelus invites you to join him in whatever shenanigan he has planned for the day, she’ll send a quick wink your way.
march 7th’s thoughts on . . . SAMPO KOSKI !
she’s mentally judging you. definitely finds this as a “to each their own” type of situation. out of everyone you guys have met, the one you have feelings for is sampo. march isn’t too fond of him despite how much he has helped them during their time in belobog. she does have a few doubts here and there, but if he’s currently the one who you’re interested in, she’ll go along with it. march has to observe the way he acts before making any big decisions like setting you two up. she can tell the feeling’s mutual by the overly flirtatious comments sent your way or gifts you receive by sampo when visiting belobog again. she’ll sometimes peek over your shoulder and see some messages coming in from him, asking when you’ll come back to see him. she could grow used to him so let her work her magic and you’ll be with him in no time.
march 7th’s thoughts on . . . JING YUAN !
the general of the luofu is a tough decision. although she believes he’s a great choice considering his high rank and popularity, it’s also a bit of a downfall. she saw some heavy chemistry between you both back when the express was currently at the luofu. she didn’t have enough time to make some comments but she knew you’d end up having some sort of feelings towards him. she’s only worried about the cons that could come. like the fact jing yuan can become a busy man within seconds. would he make enough time for you? no, he needs to because someone like you deserves it. march refuses to let her best friend settle for anything less than what she’s worth. march can trust that you’ll be in good hands with jing yuan.
march 7th’s thoughts on . . . ARGENTI !
it’s a very interesting choice in her opinion. though she understands why you’d end up gaining feelings towards him. it had to be that compliment he gave you the very first time the express met him. “a beauty that was sent by the goddess idrila herself for him to praise”. very poetical that it had the entire crew speechless for a few seconds. march hasn’t stopped bringing it up since that happened because you had never gotten that flustered before. she can only imagine all the other compliments argenti has sent your way when they’re not around. whenever you’re smiling at your phone a little too hard, thinking no one is watching, she’ll head over your way asking if your boyfriend’s the one making you all smiley. march doesn’t even need to be your wingwoman for this one. she knows the knight will handle it all on his own.
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tinystepsforward ¡ 9 months ago
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What do you think the chances are that Mud Pit is gonna be ousted by the people who need Automattic to have good will in the eyes of the community to actually get anything out of this site and wattpad
I know it’s probably low but the fact that he’s acting like a poorer Elon Musk is making my skin crawl and making me hope that a second lawsuit hits the company
ok here's the thing. he is meant to be on sabbatical. automattic gives employees a three-month paid sabbatical every 5 years, so that they can have a break from the product they work on and come back rested and with a new perspective.
matt has never taken one before now. he spent the entire leadup to his sabbatical posting increasingly wild shit in public channels at the company (like the chess thing, or trying to get people to buy a friend's product, or the entire fracas with taking over the wordpress.org twitter account. wordpress.org is an independent non-profit that he is not the ceo of).
i mention this because people were hoping (including me) that he really would actually log off, have a chill time (or, idk, whatever kind of time CEOs who go off the grid bc they got flooded in at burning man like to have), and let the interim CEO get a chance to do a better job. that would help the board make a decision based on data.
he was very clearly spiraling before he even left, and then within the first few days of Company Sanctioned Log Off Time he's pulled multiple Classic Matt things on multiple parts of the company before showing up here. this whole thing is so deeply unfunny but it also is a bit of a tom and jerry or looney tunes bit, where i can only imagine HR or Legal is chasing him around the various accounts/platforms with a comically large inflatable baseball bat and he's just evading them.
he can't do that in person, but he still gets a lot of leeway generally. at the last division meetup (irl meeting for employees, flown from all over the world) he showed up twitchy and exhausted and hyped in a way that was very familiar to me from flatmates who used to steal and snort my adhd medication, then proceeded to drink so much over the course of an evening answering questions from his employees that he had to be firmly babysat off the stage and walked back into the lobby of the hotel to sober up.
i made eye contact with him that night, before he dropped his head back into his hands. two people relatively high up in the company were sitting with him, silently watching him as he struggled to sober up. it wasn't the first drunk shenanigan of his i witnessed at one of these, and this is purely opinion but i have to assume that his current behavior is the result of suddenly having time on his hands to have the world's longest bender and post through it.
back to your question: i do not know if what he's done is enough to get the board to remove him. i wish it didn't have to come to this to hope that they will. but we'll find out.
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mingis-orangejuice ¡ 4 months ago
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Asking the L&Ds boys "What are we?" Part 4: Sylus
Summary: MC and her boy have been in a sort of situation-ship but MC wants to know why they haven't officially called her their girlfriend
a/n: This ended up being much longer than I thought so I'm making it into 4 parts (one for each boy) Here's Sylus' part its the longest part, but also my favourite. hope you like it. also, I probably mixed up Luke and Kieran multiple times so just ignore it lol.
Genres/Warnings: lots of Luke and Kieran shenanigans, a bit of angst, fluff, kinda slow burn
Word count: 1936
Previous Parts 1 2 3
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You were spending the day with Luke and Kieran, it was supposed to be with sylus but something came up. He didn’t want you to waste your day off so he arranged for them to escort you around Linkon and basically do whatever you want for the whole day. While you were happy to have a chill day with your bodyguards/friends Luke and Keiran you were really looking forward to spending a whole day with Sylus. But recently lots of things have come up and he kept rescheduling all your dates. Was he trying to tell you something, is this his way of saying he’s not actually interested in you romantically but he’s too chicken to tell you? No, he wouldn’t do that, Sylus is one of the most direct people you know, if he didn’t like you, he’d just say so. So then why does it feel like he’s just stringing you along, when is he going to make you two official?
“MC?...MC?...” Luke’s voice snapped you out of your train of thought. 
“What? sorry I was a little spaced out.” you turn to the twins standing above you while you sit at one of the tables of the Linkon Mall foodcourt.
“I said where do you want to go for lunch? There's so many choices” Luke gestured to the row of different restaurants among the foodcourt.
“We could always have the boss’s favourite, ever since you let him try your instant ramen that's all he asks the chefs to make for him when you’re away,” Kieran suggested as both boys took a seat next to you on the other side of the table. “There's a ramen place right over there”
“Umm… I’m not sure… I’m not really hungry right now” You looked vacantly across the mall foodcourt starting to space out again
“The boss said there's no limit to how much we can spend today so we don’t have to eat here. Or if you can’t decide on what to eat we can buy a bit of everything and you can taste them all” Kieran suggests while taking out Sylus’ black credit card from his pocket.
“You have to eat something, the boss doesn’t want you to skip meals he told us to make sure you eat something or else” Luke warned in a fake threatening voice.
“Well, I guess if I have to in order to save you two from Sylus’ wrath, then I want something homemade, not this cheap generic stuff, so let’s go back to the base and see what we can cook up, what do you say?” 
“Anything for the Boss’s girlfriend,” Kieran said with a smile, he stood up and put out his arm for him to escort you to the car.
“Huh… what did you say?” You stopped reaching for Kieran’s arm at the word girlfriend.
“Anything for the boss’s …girlfriend…. I’m confused, are you not his girlfriend” Kieran looked embarrassed like he might have misread the situation.
“Well yeah…but .. he’s never said it before…so I didn’t think he thought of me as his girlfriend.” you stood awkwardly looking at the floor and playing with your hands.
“Of course he thinks of you that way he gets all smiley when he or anyone else mentions you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the boss smile so much before you came along” Luke grabbed your bags as you guys started to head to the car. “The boss just has a hard time expressing his emotions. ”  he mentioned brightly
“Yeah for the first year of us working for him he pretended not to remember our names cuz he didn’t want to seem soft, even tho he could already tell us apart after the first day even with our masks on.” Kieran said as he looked up to the sky like he was reminiscing on the Good-old-days 
“But he always calls you his girlfriend around us” 
“Right, he even calls you his girlfriend in the task memos he sends us” Luke shows you his phone with all the tasks set out by sylus. He clicks play and a voice recording of Sylus starts. 
“1. As I’ll be away for the day take my girlfriend to the mall and get her anything she wants, to keep her happy
2. Make sure she eats something for lunch, she tends to skip meals and gets really tired halfway through the day because of it. If she doesn’t eat anything, a punishment will be waiting for you upon your return.
3. Carry everything for her no matter how much she buys, rent a truck if you have to, I don’t want her straining herself before tonight’s special event…”
“Wait” you click pause on Luke’s phone. “what event, he never told me about that.” 
“Uhh…oops” Luke quickly puts away his phone “You weren’t supposed to hear that. Just pretend it didn’t happen”
Kieran slaps Luke’s arm “You idiot, that was supposed to be a surprise, the boss is gonna kill us”
“Just what is he planning?” you interrogate the twins. Both of them looked at each other as they opened the car door and helped you in.
“our lips are sealed.” they both said in unison while placing their fingers in an X over their lips
You guys were now in the car on the way back to the base. You’ve fallen silent thinking about this special event. just what kind of event was this? It couldn't be something bad, right? Was he breaking up with you? Is that why he let you use his card with no limit, to give you one final good day then he’d cut you off??? You couldn’t take the suspense anymore, you had to know. You took your phone out of your purse and called Sylus. Your phone was connected to the car’s speakers and Kieran saw that you were calling him and got a little nervous. Sylus picked up almost immediately. 
“Yes, Sweetie? What's wrong, are Luke and Kieran not treating You well, do you need me to get rid of them for you? I’ve been looking for some new Henchmen anyway” He said with a chuckle
“Hey, we’re right here you know?” Kieran said in a hurt voice
“I know, that's why I said it” “Sylus joked
“And you wouldn’t get rid of us, right boss?” Luke asked, “We’re your favourite henchmen, right?”
Sylus completely ignores Luke's question “...So why did you call sweetie? Remember when I said I was very busy today and that we’d see each other later tonight?”
You didn’t want to beat around the bush so you got straight to the point.“Yeah, that’s what I wanted to ask about, what exactly is happening tonight? What's the Special event and why didn’t you tell me earlier?” 
There was silence on the other end and then an annoyed groan. “Did you two tell her?” Sylus sounded like he was about to jump through the phone and punch both of them in the face.
“No boss we promise all she knows is that there’s an event tonight she doesn’t know anything else,” Kieran said frantically “Please don’t get rid of us”
Ignoring them again he sighed. “Where are you right now babe?”
“We were on our way to the base for lunch.” You informed him
“at least those two can do something right” he sighs. “Ok then I’ll be waiting for you at the base and I’ll explain everything.” *Click* he hangs up
Now you were even more curious, what was sylus planning?
“Do you think the boss is really gonna get rid of us?” Luke asked you in a scared voice.
“I doubt it, you guys mess up all the time and he hasn’t gotten rid of you yet, what's one more mess up” you say in a joking tone “Plus if he’s as nice as you say he is, then you don’t have anything to worry about.”
Later back at the base you all walk into the living room to see Sylus sitting on the couch reading a book. “Oh, you’re back.” Sylus puts down his book and pats the space next to him for you to join him on the couch. “Come, sit. Let’s talk.” as you sit he wraps an arm around your waist to pull you closer. He then looked up to where the twins were standing. “You two, I’ll deal with you later. Leave us be for now.”
“Yes boss.” they both say and hurriedly walk out of the room.
On the way to the base after the phone call you just couldn’t stop thinking about what this event could be and mixed with your thoughts from earlier you were only coming up with every bad result it could be. All those thoughts and emotions were boiling inside and before Sylus could say anything they overflowed “What are we?” 
“Huh?” Sylus looked confused “Sweetie, what do you mean?”
“Why do you keep avoiding me and why won't you call me your girlfriend? Apparently, you’ll say it in front of everyone else but me.” You moved back so you were out of his grip 
“Those two, I’ll fire them for sure this time,” He says under his breath.
“And what is this event? Why didn’t you tell me about it, is it about me? Did I do something wrong?” Your voice slightly cracked on the last word and your eyes started to get misty.
“Woah, slow down, if I knew it would make you feel like this I would have explained sooner.” He pulls you close again, holds your face in his palms and wipes your tears with his thumbs  “First, We are Sylus and MC the strongest and most feared couple in the N109 Zone.” He chuckled. “Second, I’m sorry that I made you feel this way. I knew you were curious but I didn’t know the curiosity would get to you this much. I wasn’t avoiding you, I’ve been setting up the special event that I’ll tell you more about in due time. But, as for your third question…” Sylus pulls your head in closer and places a soft kiss on your lips that nearly takes your breath away. He pulls away and looks at you with a smirk “You’ve also never called me your boyfriend so I guess we’re even” 
“Yeah well…I didn’t want to assume… I” You start to stutter both from the kiss and his accusation.
He stops you and places another kiss on your lips “I guess we both felt that way” 
“So then what about the event?” you’re now sitting closer to him his hands on your waist to keep you close.
“Oh yeah, the event… I was gonna let you watch while I fire Luke and Kieran. I set up events every time I want to fire one of my men, why do you think I had you keep them out of the house the whole day?” He joked.
You softly slapped his chest and rolled your eyes “ I know you’re joking those two might be idiots but you’d never fire them. Come on seriously what is it really?”
“Ok, I'll tell you, if you can tell me something first, what day is it today? He asks, hoping you’ll know the answer.
“Uh, Sunday?” you say confused as to why this day of the week had any significance.
“You can’t even remember yet you want me to call you my girlfriend,” Sylus said pretending to be offended “It’s the anniversary of when a little kitten first wandered into the N109 Zone and…” he pulls you into a hug “ into my life”
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ozzgin ¡ 7 months ago
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Hi!! Your writing it truly lovely 😭<33 If i could request anything with Zzy? Thank youuu
Yandere! Demon x Gloomy! Reader (II)
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Featuring the goat-legged boy Zzy and a gloomy, newly employed detective Reader! By the way, his name is a little tribute to a series I like. Can you guess who inspired it? Hint: it's Jhonen Vasquez's first comic :D
Content: female reader, perverted goat demon yandere, dark/crass humor!, monster romance, mildly NSFW
[Part 1] [Monster masterlist]
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The detective man, at the very least, kept his word. The pay is good, and you barely have any work to do. The jobs themselves are similarly not too challenging: so far you haven’t had to deal with any murder mystery out of an Agatha Christie novel. Rather, most of the time, it’s someone asking you to investigate their cheating partner, or sending you to do a background check for an employee. Every now and then you’ll get the odd client, but that’s something for another day.
Your boss isn’t all that bad either. You were initially quite hesitant to be alone in the room with him. He always seems to be surrounded by an eerie, dark aura, and you’ve only seen him smile in a menacing, villainous way. Now you’ve gotten used to his strangeness. In fact, it’s almost comforting. There’s something refreshing about another human being honest about their misery. He seems to be just as uninterested in this job as you are, spending most of his time reading at his desk. Despite his unkempt, scary appearance, he's pleasant enough and looks after you. Which, now that you think about it, is a little suspicious. You've seen him act around other people: curt and to the point, disinterested, even potentially rude. With demons, he's ruthless.
"Have you had lunch yet?" the man asks, standing up and dusting his knees. "I can get us something."
You nod and flash him a flaccid smile, although you can't help but ask:
"Listen, aren't you being a little too nice? I mean, I'm not complaining...but I've seen how you behave in general, and I have a hard time coming up with a reason for my special treatment."
He ponders your question for a moment, before his sunken eyes look ahead, somewhere behind you.
"Well…If I’m being honest, you’re kind of pathetic, aren't you? I’m just a little worried that if I’m too harsh, I’ll find out you hanged yourself in your apartment or something. Not that I’d care, but if you’re gone, I’m the one stuck with…that thing.”
Ah. That’s what it was. Almost immediately, a shiver runs across your spine.
“(Y/N)! Are you done yet? I’m booooooored”, a prolonged whine erupts from the neighboring chamber.
“I’m about to have lunch, actually. Do you want any-”
“You know I do! Spread those legs and I can start”, the goat demon declares with a grin, clacking his hooves in your direction.
You sigh.
Of course. Months ago, you were tricked into signing a lifelong contract with Zzy. It was the detective’s way of washing his hands off the matter and warmly welcoming you into the agency. It makes sense that he'd treat you with utmost care, otherwise he'd have to deal with this pest from Hell once again.
How's your life with Zzy going?
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You've since found a way to seal your bedroom, in order to avoid waking up with his groping hands under your sheets. Sadly, the stubborn creature keeps finding ways to bypass your safety measurements. Who would’ve thought that lust is such a powerful driving force?
On top of the nightly shenanigans, you obviously have to deal with him during the day, at the agency. “Listen, it’s like…one of those fidget toys. It helps with stress”, he explains fervently while pointing at your chest. “You want me to do my work properly, don’t you?” He concludes theatrically. “You’re not holding my boobs. This is the end of the conversation.”
If you’re having a bad day, it won’t go unnoticed. “Boy, what a smell, what a delicacy. You’re even more miserable than usual”, Zzy will exclaim, throwing his hands together in a graceful prayer. “You know what the best medicine is? A quick fuck. Let me pound that sadness out of you, eh?”
Despite his constant clowning, the demon does have moments of clarity. He becomes particularly serious when jealous. “What have you done?” You shout in despair, gawking at the client - now morphed into a pig - foaming at the mouth and running around the room. “He was staring at your ass. Only I can do that.” The horned man stands proud, arms crossed, nodding at his own courageous act. His most treasured belonging has been defended once more.
As expected, the jealous curse has gotten both of you into time-out. Zzy because he cursed the client in the first place, and you - despite your protests - because you didn't stop him in time. "Can't you wear something easier to take off? It takes two business days to unbutton this crap", the demon complains as he fiddles with your shirt. You're laying on the sofa, hands behind your head, gazing at the clock on the wall and counting the minutes passing. Unbothered, compliant. The peacefulness of someone who's given up. "Zipper is to the left", you add, aiding the process.
Another irritating detail is that the damned beast can detect the slightest arousal coming from you, and will make sure to announce it loudly, regardless of who is around. "Someone's horny! Whew, getting me all worked up, too." You slap a hand over his mouth, a deep red blush rapidly spreading across your cheeks. You turn to the detective and apologize profusely, but he remains unconcerned, flipping another page. "Let me take care of her first, Mr. Detective", Zzy manages to mumble through your pressed fingers. "As long as you get the task done", your boss responds plainly, never bothering to look up from his book.
"You should visit me down there sometimes", the horned creature suddenly mentions, his head resting in your lap as you idly browse your phone. You stop to glance down at him. "In Hell, you mean?" He snickers at the thought. "No one believes me when I tell them I have a human girlfriend. I need concrete proof, ya feel me?" You raise an eyebrow. "Girlfriend?" He disregards your inquiry and continues: "At least give me a pair of your panties to take back home." Absolutely not.
"Were you this much of a menace before I showed up?"
"What's that supposed to mean?! You can't blame a demon for being in love."
You sigh once more and roll over.
"Does that mean we can go for round two~?" Zzy is grinning at his own suggestion.
"Just go to sleep. Or something."
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my-castles-crumbling ¡ 6 days ago
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responsible - november 16th - just general marauders shenanigans - @stag-microfic - word count: 232
"So," McGonagall muttered, sitting at her desk and massaging her temples tiredly with her hands, "care to explain who's responsible?"
Four pairs of eyes blinked back at her before all of the boys began talking all at once, a mile a minute.
"Well, I think it was Sirius's idea, really, he's such a genius-"
"-said, 'Oh, wouldn't it be so funny if we-?'"
"-of course, then Remus reminded us of that spell you taught us in class last year, remember the one where-"
"- James learned how to do it in about five minutes flat, so smart-"
"-and then Pete, sneaking to Hogsmeade for-"
"-and of course James did amazing with distracting, so-"
"-so useful."
But McGonagall could only look on with an amused expression. "You now you're supposed to deny what you did, right?" she asked, despite herself.
James Potter just gave a little laugh, though. "Professor, we've been going here for five years. I think you know by now that any half-decent prank came from us. Plus," he exchanged glances with his friends, "we worked hard on it. Might as well get the credit we deserve."
And as she took in his grin, McGonagall just sighed, holding back her own smile. "Detentions for all of you tomorrow at seven."
"Aye, aye, captain!" Sirius Black said with a smile and a salute as they all stood and walked toward the door.
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