#and she’s still learning but wonka made his point

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Tango in the Sky [W. W]

Willy Wonka x fem!reader

word count: 1.6k

[Timothée masterlist]

note: LISTEN, first of all I want to say a huge apology because I was literally stuck on this. I had like two weeks with the document started and I just didn't know how to do it, so I'm sorry if this is horrible. I think the problem was that I wanted to make everything the same as the movie and aaagh, I don't know. I know you wanted a kiss but I also had a hard time writing that because they barely know each other haha 😫

I will catch up more these days with everything on my inbox (which is quite a few, thank you for that beautiful people) and I appreciate the nice reception, I love you!

Special thanks to @fivesumbrella5 for leaving their name, it makes me happy to know who requests it :)

“Have you done this before?” you asked, gently petting the snout of the giraffe in front of you. Willy was downstairs, milking her so he could get the milk needed for her chocolates.

Noodle was supposed to have helped him that day, but the poor thing had caught a cold and you had been the lucky one (not really) to be driving the delivery cart. Although it had been a drastic change of plans, you had to adjust to it.

"Once. In Africa. Magnificent beast”

“Was she wild?”

“Wild? She was absolutely furious! But once my hands warmed up, I think she kind of liked it” Willy responded and then you giggled.

It was nice to have his company, that most eccentric guy who had come to rock everyone's world at the laundry.

“The way you left your coat makes it look like a person,” you pointed out, looking down at the coat rack on which he had left the red piece.

“Huh? It's true,” said the boy, smiling. Willy got up from his seat, humming a song, and then approached the structure taking a few steps and turns that ended in a mocking bow. “May I have this piece?”

You were watching his occurrence from above and when he started dancing you couldn't contain your laughter. He even started singing, showing you that he had a really beautiful voice.

"You like dancing?"

“I love it, actually,” he confessed. He had already put his coat and hat back on. “Especially when my partner is human.”

How curious, you were a human. And now that you had seen him dance, you were sure that you could become that dance partner he needed.

You started to go down the stairs, trying to ignore the vertigo that doing so gave you, and when you were two steps from the floor one of your feet slipped. You screamed as you fell, but you were lucky that he reacted quickly, managing to stop the impact by holding you by the back.

"My God…"

“It was close, right?” he laughed, still sounding agitated. “You have to be careful.”

You only managed to nod your head, slightly embarrassed, and then he helped you to step completely onto the floor. He was smiling, he always did, as if his cheeks were made to handle that.

“Do we have what we need?”

“We have it, my dear lady,” he replied, showing you the metal can that was filled with milk. At least something positive had come out of it all. “So it's time to go.”

“Thank you, Abigail!” You exclaimed towards the giraffe. She shook her head as if she really understood and the two of you got out of there.

It was cold outside and you felt strange seeing the zoo so desolate, although at the same time you were happy. Before the arrival of the chocolatier you could barely leave the laundry and now in a single day you had done wonderful things.

"No way…"

"What?"

“Have you ever flown?” He said with enthusiasm reflected in his bright eyes. You, as was logical, immediately denied, “Do you want to do it?”

"What?" you repeated, this time more acute and convinced it was a joke.

"It will be fun! Come on, trust me” he murmured and without giving you time to respond he took your hand to start running on the snowy road.

You were learning that you had to be careful with these occurrences and you had a feeling that this would not be the exception. You understood what his idea was the moment the bunch of balloons entered your field of vision and when you tried to react, he had already taken them with his free hand.

“It's not what… no, no, Willy…” you tried to stop him, but he wouldn't let you.

You ran out of pure inertia, knowing that if you slowed down you would probably trip and everything would turn out horribly. You were heading towards the lake and you closed your eyes as you imagined your destination, but it was nothing like you expected because the tips of your light feet barely touched the edge of the water. A second later you were already lifted into the air and then you clung to him with all the strength that existed in your body. You didn't even want to breathe for fear of falling and he noticed it.

"Open your eyes! You miss the show” the boy laughed, as if flying at night was the most normal thing in the world.

You ignored him and continued hugging him while the wind hit your face and ruffled your hair. You thanked God when your feet finally touched a firm surface, thinking it was the floor, but when you opened your eyes you noticed a glass floor illuminated from below: the panic returned when you realized that it was not a floor, but a ceiling.

“Willy, we're going to fall and die…” you half-screamed, launching yourself into his arms again. He was still holding his bunch of balloons and looked as cheerful as at the beginning.

“Nothing is going to happen to us. It's like walking on a tightrope."

“I have never walked a tightrope!” you replied fearfully. He let go of you and started to walk you away from him, slowly, and then he saw the terror in your eyes.

“If you've never walked a tightrope then it'll just be like dancing, okay?” he smiled, while he took your hand without getting rid of your means of transportation yet. “Do you know how to dance?”

Of course you knew how to do it, but this wasn't exactly what you were expecting when you wanted him to ask you.

“Look, just take one step forward,” he continued, pulling you towards him and moving in the opposite direction. “One back, one forward, two back…”

The boy hummed the instructions kindly and you tried to look him in the eyes just to avoid noticing how many meters high you were. After a couple of sequences you had begun to relax, but when he suddenly placed the balloons in your hand and let you go, you let out a little scream again.

Thanks to his help you did a couple of turns in the air and then he held you again, by his waist, until you were right in front of him.

“Don't let go of me” you asked in a whisper and Willy promised that he wouldn't.

Under that commitment you continued dancing to the rhythm that your friend set and little by little you were feeling more excited about what was happening. You had literally flown through the air and now you were on the damn roof of the gourmet galleries dancing with the most handsome chocolatier you knew; How likely was it at the beginning of the day? None, in short, so it was a pleasant surprise.

Willy guided you to the top of the dome that adorned the galleries, using the balloons to fly again, and suddenly you two stopped to hold onto the metal rod at the top of it. You were smiling from ear to ear and his hand had ended up on yours, while he also had a happy face.

“Didn't I tell you you'd be fun?”

“You are completely crazy, Mr. Wonka. I mean it in the best way” you sighed sincerely, managing to get a giggle out of him.

The man seemed to love heights, unlike you, and he wasn't about to let the moment between you last so short. So, careful not to let go, he began to bend over himself, taking you with him, until you were left sitting on the glass ceiling.

“Just breathe and take a second to appreciate the view,” he asked you, still holding your hand in an attempt to keep you calm.

If you looked down you could see the interior full of shoppers and if you looked forward you could see the entire city. However, the best view was to the side, right where Willy could be seen closely. Until that moment you noticed that the flamingos seemed to have followed you through the air and were now flying freely.

It was actually nice to be in that position once you had put your absolute terror of heights aside and as if you were suddenly aware of everything, the hand holding yours made you blush. Like this you were silent for a minute, with only the sound of the wind filling your ears.

“You know, Willy?” you started to say, not really looking at him. You were focused on the bright lights of one of the mansions “I haven't felt like this in a long time. It's nice to go out into the world."

Were you happy perhaps? If so, then he had achieved his goal. The truth was that one of the reasons he had done everything he had done was in the hope of making you smile and even with the difficulties that had arisen along the way, he had achieved it.

He was about to respond when the feeling of your lips placing a kiss on his cheek stopped his breathing and stirred his thoughts.

“I only worry about one thing though,” you exclaimed again. He looked at you carefully to listen to what you were going to say to him. “How are we going to get down from here?”

The boy laughed and the hand with which he was still holding the balloons waved in the air. You let out a whimper.

“Did you expect anything else?”

“An emergency staircase or something,” you joked. “But I guess it will be flying.”

If you had thought that going up into the air had been a nightmare, going down to the ground again turned out to be much worse.

taglist: @dyieying @reallysparklychaos @silverchainbee @amethyistheart @shadowygladiatorlight @lavendarhearts @lou-multifandoms

[kittycatasaurus]

Love Flavoured Chocolates (2023 Willy Wonka/Reader)

(Cross posted to my AO3, I'm obsessed with Wonka and wanted to share this purely self indulgent reader insert because there simply isn't enough out there and hey it might encourage me to write some more if other people can also enjoy my writing!)

Word count: 3.2k

Willy had come to the Galéries Gourmet with nothing but his love for chocolate making, a wish to once more see his mother, and a hat full of dreams. One thing he certainly hadn’t accounted for was falling in love. He’d first had the pleasure of meeting you the first time Noodle smuggled him out of Scrubitt’s.

You'd befriended the young girl in passing on the street after she’d bumped into you with her laundry cart while neither of you were paying quite enough attention to where you were going. Though the collision was soft enough to keep you both on your feet, she had knocked the book your face was buried in straight to the ground causing you both to startle. Immediately the pair of you burst into apologies (which had made you laugh, despite the girl’s sincere panic), “You’re alright little missy, that was entirely my fault for not looking ahead of me, I simply can’t put this one down, I’m so close to finishing this new tale of a young detective!” You attempted to ease her worry with a big smile, it seemed to work as the girl’s face shifted from concern to interest. “Is-is that the latest Nancy Drew story?” She asked eagerly, trying to get a better look at the book in your hand. With a simple nod, keeping the easy smile on your face you answered, yes. From there the pair of you spent at least a half hour chattering excitedly about the fantastical feats of the young investigator until a nearby clocktower chimed, making her realise she was falling way behind schedule and would soon have to return to the wash house with a few deliveries still to make their destinations. “It’s been wonderful talking to you miss, but I’m afraid I really must hurry along, I hope I run into you again, my name is Noodle in case you see me before I see you!” The girl, now known to you as Noodle, what an interesting name, jumbled out as she made off to scurry away to wherever she needed to be. “I hope I see you again as well Noodle, you’ve been a delight to talk to! The name is Y/N” You called out after her and continued your stroll once she was out of sight, only somewhat more aware of your surroundings this time.

After that initial encounter you had run into each other a few times, eventually budding a wonderful friendship wherein you shared books and life stories with one another. Gradually you learned of Noodle’s more than unfortunate living situation and provided her comfort and reassurance in any ways you could, be that a book from your collection which she hadn’t yet read or a warm hug and shoulder to cry on, the girl became a younger sister figure to you.

This was where Wonka came into the picture, you and Noodle by this point had been friends for the better part of two years and saw each other frequently so you were understandably concerned when you hadn’t seen her around for the last couple of weeks. Just when the worry was getting to the point of you preparing yourself to storm into Scrubitt’s and demand to know about the wellbeing of your friend you saw her, tucked away from the main roads and pathways, talking to her trolley? Now that is upsetting, such a beautiful young mind lost to the madness of her circumstance. As you were about to approach, rounding the corner of the wall you’d hidden behind, a man emerged from the trolley clearly in conversation with the young girl. If not for your sheer confusion, you would have hastily approached the stranger as instinct kicked in to keep Noodle away from any potential danger. She didn't appear frightened or startled so logic told you this was no stranger to her, and therefore not a threat. Upon the realisation, you called out to your friend whom you’d missed in the two weeks of absence, “Noodle! Where’ve you been, little lady?” Immediately, both heads turned to face you and your breath caught in your throat as the mystery man turned and you finally caught a glimpse of his face. It was a beautiful face too, puppy-like hazel eyes, framed by fluttery long lashes, thick full eyebrows sat above them, complimenting his slender, pale face. Both pairs of eyes were wide upon you but you were still taking in the gorgeous man before you, to the point you failed to hear Noodle as she repeated your name, asking “Y/N? What are you doing here?” At the lack of response, she followed up “Earth to Y/N?” with a somewhat exasperated sigh after. Seeing the man turn to face Noodle shook you from your reverie and you let out a sharp little “Hmm?” “I said, what are you doing here Y/N? Were you following me or something?” Her look caused a twang of guilt for a second until you registered that, no you hadn’t been following Noodle, just actively looking out for her as you’d thought her to be missing. “Of course not you numpty! I heard your voice coming from a sketchy alley and saw you talking to your laundry pile, I only wanted to check you were alright, especially considering I haven’t seen you in a few weeks kid! It’s completely understandable for me to be at least a little worried, even more so after seeing a strange man come out of your trolley,” Your voice was taking on a bit of a scolding tone as you softened it to turn to the aforementioned man “No offence.” He shook his head as though to imply none taken as his eyes flitted between the two of you, the friendly smile never once leaving his face. “I take it this is Y/N, Noodle?” his eyes remained on her this time as she nodded back to him. Well that was unexpected, this mysterious dreamboat knew who you were courtesy of Noodle, and while you were flattered she told this new ‘friend’ about you, you worried over what she said in order for him to deduce your identity.

Together, the pair of them explained their plan to get the money to free themselves of Scrubitt’s unfair debt, going into detail about the wondrous and impossible chocolates made by who you now know to be ‘Willy Wonka, future chocolatier extraordinaire’. In all honesty your mind is positively racing to keep up, but with such bright smiles on their faces you can only nod your support and shoot a smile back, albeit a smaller one.

———————————

That had been a while ago, though it felt even longer. By this point, you had collectively put a stop to the chocolate cartel and Scrubitt and Bleacher. Wonka’s chocolates were doing better than ever and with everyone from the wash house going back to their old lives, Willy was alone again, well mostly. Abacus Crunch had been happy to remain the financial adviser for Willy and the group would do their best to stay in touch thanks to Lottie Bell and her phone operator gig but it was definitely lonely, going from all those people around him, that warm environment to nothing again. Although, you were still around weren’t you? You and Noodle? While you both saw her often, upon finding her mother and the library where she stayed, it was less and less that you found yourself in the young girl’s company, she had years of catching up to do after all. You wanted to believe that was why you were seeing less and less of Willy too, but the pair of you had no reason not to see each other often, after all, you’d quit your boring old job to help out and work with Willy at his shop as soon as it had been acquired. So then why did it feel like he was avoiding you, or attempting to shut you out.

This is where you find yourself as you sit with Noodle outside her mother’s library one warm evening. “I don’t understand Noodle, he seems lonely, it's simply a fact that he thrives off of being around other people so I don’t understand why he’s shutting himself away” a too big sigh leaves your mouth. “I miss him, I miss his cheshire grin, the confusing way he talks, even just seeing his garish purple coat” “Hmmm, kinda sounds like you love him” “Yeah, I just don’t know what’s u- WHAT?!?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOODLE?” Your face burns red as your brain takes a minute to register what the young girl chimes in with. In response she holds up her hands, palms facing you, “I’m just saying it as I see it.” With a shrug she shakes her head. Though her words do make you stop and think back to the many months you’ve known the eccentric chocolatier.

The first day you’d successfully sold Wonka’s chocolates on the street had resulted in a quick getaway where you and Willy had ended up lost in the tunnels below the city, escaping the corrupt chief of police for an hour or two as you attempted to meet up with the others to get Willy back to Scrubitt’s with the others in time for roll call. At this point you hadn’t yet been alone together, and the lack of familiarity seemingly made Willy nervous to the point his breathing got panicked and you shared a rather intimate moment where you helped ease his discomfort with a simple breathing exercise and hand massage. “Willy, give me your hand please,” you spoke in the most gentle tone you’d ever mustered after his laboured breaths stabilised, he acquiesced rather quickly as you reached out to him, gently cupping his hand. “I’m gonna trace the lines of your palm okay? It might tickle but I promise you, you’ll feel better.” The smile on your face eased any remaining nerves and once you started to caress his palm with your thumb he seemed to lose the last of the tension. “See,” your voice was still incredibly gentle, but now you were both smiling though his was significantly smaller than usual, “You’re okay, sweetie, I’m here” The pet name left your mouth so naturally neither of you reacted, though a moment later you flushed realising the implied closeness of calling him such a name. With level heads you managed to safely navigate your way back to the others in time and wished Willy a restful night. In retrospect that may very well have been when you first started to develop feelings for the man, you could no longer tell, in the objectively short time that you’d known him, you could think of at least a dozen other times that may have stimulated this apparent crush of yours. Though one particular memory comes to mind more often than the rest. The most recent to boot, the day you reunited Noodle with her mother!

It was the day you’d put an end to the cartel, Willy would finally be free to run his chocolate shop and live out the dream he’d shared with his late mother. The celebration in the Galéries Gourmet seemed to go on forever as everyone enjoyed the chocolate fountain filling up cups seemingly endlessly. A group effort had the shop back together in no time, looking as good as new. As the sun was finally descending from its high perch, your friends from Scrubitt’s all said their goodbyes and well wishes to Willy, Noodle and yourself. Leaving the three of you to lounge about in comfortable silence for a while. “We have a surprise for you, Noodle!” You said excitedly to the young girl who was almost falling asleep where she sat. Exchanging eye contact with Willy, you rose with Noodle in tow. Wide awake after jolting her about, she rushed to keep up with both of your longer legs as you sped away from the shop. Stopping abruptly outside of the library, Noodle gathered her bearings with a confused expression on her face and heavy breaths leaving her lungs, “The library?? What could possibly be so important in there you felt the need to sprint AND drag me along too no less!” She was understandably irritated, but you knew it would be worth all the effort soon enough. “Close your eyes for a second for me Noodle-dee!” Willy told her cheerfully as you approached the door holding onto the girl’s hand to bring her with you. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. “Now open them…” You whispered just loud enough for her to hear and comply. Before her, stood her mother, finally reunited after years of wishing and hoping. Immediately the two shared the warmest embrace you’d ever witnessed as you backed up and gave them their space, returning to Wonka’s side and overlooking the tender moment. A soft sniffle from beside you reached your ear and you glanced over to see Willy’s eyes glossy with unshed tears, the poor boy must’ve been reminded of his own mother in that moment, your heart hurt for him. “Come here sweetie,” you hummed to him, pulling the chocolatier into a comforting hug. “She’d be so proud of you right now, you know?” You got a teary chuckle in response to that as his arms wrapped around you. Noodle and her mother looked over to you now and you raised your arm in a wave to let them know you’d be heading back to leave them to catch up on all the time they’d spent apart.

The walk back wasn’t far, but it felt much longer without Noodle especially since you’d run practically the whole way there and were now strolling very leisurely. Neither of you said anything but you were touching in some way the entire time, holding hands for part of the walk, then switching to linking arms, even simply resting your hand on Willy’s back. Eventually you made it back to the shop, with the lights off, it was as though the magic was sleeping. As you entered ahead of Willy, you looked back to examine his expression, he wasn’t upset, of course not, he just reunited his dearest friend with her mother whom she thought long lost, perhaps forlorn was more accurate. The cogs in his head were clearly turning as he wrangled with his feelings, particularly regarding his mother and the seemingly impending loneliness he was soon to face. He stopped walking as soon as he entered, eyes still downcast as though expecting you to turn around and leave right then and there as well. With a low sigh you finally broke the silence “Willy, I’m not leaving you, not after that, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I just walked out after seeing those tears in your eyes.” He looked up, this time they had escaped and he had a sad pout on his beautiful lips. “Can you tell me about her? Have you got any pictures?” You’d not heard much at all about his mother from him aside from how much he loved her and that she was the inspiration for his dream turned reality. Willy gave a little nod and led you through the store to his makeshift office/home/break room, and on the desk sat a framed photo of a beautiful woman with a very familiar smile. “Wow this is her then? She’s beautiful Willy, you look so much like her.” You said the last bit somewhat under your breath as you realised the implication of what you said (as much as you meant it, it seemed a bit forward). You picked up the picture and sat down on the sofa in the room, patting the seat next to you for Willy to sit beside you, the rest of the night was spent listening to stories of his childhood and asking questions. The pair of you laughed, you cried, and eventually Willy fell asleep with his head on your shoulder. Getting as comfortable as the pair of you could, you let yourself join him in the land of dreams shortly after.

Now, it had been a few weeks since you and Willy had experienced the almost intimate exchange of life stories, as well as your chat with Noodle and you had the day off. Willy was on a break from work and went to visit Noodle at the library to tell her all about that night and how great a person he found you to be, gushing over how ‘kind, pretty, sensitive, and funny’ you were but somehow avoiding the ‘L’ word and seemingly ignoring his feelings for you. Eventually, the girl could take it no longer and burst out “Either ask her out, or I will do it for you! You’re such an idiot Willy, it's so obvious you love Y/N and I don’t understand how you’ve danced around it for as long as you have!” Noodle’s frustration was apparent from her face alone, if her words somehow hadn’t conveyed exactly what she meant them to. Willy’s eyes went wide at her outburst and his face started to resemble a tomato almost in how brightly he was blushing. As he opened his mouth to make a retort, Noodle interrupted him with a raised finger and a look that shut him up before he could even make so much as a noise. “Go see her now Willy, or I will.” Was all she had to say to get him standing up and practically sprinting out of the door.

A hurried knock at your door startled you out of your thoughtless stare out the window, you sat up abruptly, I’m not expecting any visitors, you thought to yourself as you walked cautiously over to the door. Through the peephole, you spotted the one and only Willy Wonka, pleasantly surprised, you opened up the door to be pulled into a tight embrace. Despite the initial shock, you quickly recovered to hug your dear friend back, “Heya, what’s gotten into you, sweetpea?” Genuinely confused as to the context despite reciprocating the affectionate action. Pulling back from you to look into your eyes, Willy responded, “I love you, Y/N.” Cue the widening of your eyes as you started to stammer out a reply, “Wh-what, huh, I-” “I love you, Y/N, I can’t believe it took Noodle calling me an idiot to realise it but I’m hopelessly, wholeheartedly in love with you.” He affirmed with a fire behind his gaze. You realised then that he wasn’t joking, this wasn’t a prank or him using the word in a friendly sense. “You, you do?” Tears started to well up in your eyes as you looked into his, “I love you too, Willy Wonka.” Not wanting to keep him in suspense, you confessed right back. A laugh broke free from your mouth as the tears started to fall from your eyes. Gently cupping either side of his face, you brought your lips together in a sweet kiss that felt like it could last forever, his hands finding a comfortable perch on your hips as you held each other close. Breaking apart for air, you both giggled, and leaned back into each other for another kiss, this one escalating a little past wholesome as you softly tugged at his bottom lip with your teeth. Breathing heavily now, you separated once more to stare into each other's eyes. Willy Wonka had confessed his love to you and you were ecstatic to say you felt the same. This would be the start of something beautiful, of that you were sure.

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

all right gang buckle up it's time to talk wonka

I give Wonka (2023) a 4.5/10. While the movie was visually stunning and I broadly liked Willy, Noodle, the chocolate cartel, and a couple of the better-developed side characters, overall it lacked substance.

I will say up front that one thing I genuinely really loved about the movie was how it leaned into the actual magic of Willy's inventions. They don't just taste good, they have actual magical effects on the people who eat them. That was cool! Very inventive.

I also loved Noodle's character far more than I thought I would. She was a great contrast to Willy's idealism, and it was particularly enjoyable for the younger character to be the more cynical one. Noodle was actually one of my favourite parts of the movie.

Willy's grief for his mother was very touching and was in my opinion probably the best-realised emotional beat of the movie. The reveal that he hoped she would somehow be there when he opened his shop, his disappointment when it didn't happen despite logically knowing it couldn't... It hit home, and reinforced that Willy here is still a young man, little more than a kid, and still refusing to let adult real world logic puncture his dreams, for better or worse.

Now for... everything else.

So the first thing that annoyed me is Willy's characterisation in this movie: he has been "sailing the seven seas for seven years", i.e. has been fending for himself in a vaguely 1800s world across continents with nobody to look out for him, and he is... so blisteringly naive!

I get that he couldn't start out cynical (nor would I want him to) because that leaves no room for character growth between the prequel and the original movie, but it completely shatters my disbelief that a kid could be roaming the world alone for seven years and never before encounter anyone who deceives or takes advantage of him so that he is left so entirely at the mercy of Mrs Scrubbit.

(also lmfao Mrs Scrubbit herself is like... just say you wanted to spoof Mrs Lovett. The name. The attitude. The child assitant. The romance with the surly violent man.)

Even if he was still a little naive... there is no forgiving him handing Lofty the frying pan to hit him over the head with. I watched that scene torn between absolutely bewilderment that they expected me to believe Willy was that stupid, and a reluctant admiration for Lofty, who I can only imagine was astonished and delighted that his stupid plan worked so flawlessly.

That said, I actually really loved the reveal that Willy couldn't read. That felt very logical with his backstory presented in-universe (raised poor in a historical time period by a mother more focused on keeping them both alive and fed in their transitory lifestyle). While it seems Willy's mother was literate (the 'Wonka' on the chocolate bar wrapper), I can buy that Willy just Would Not Learn because he didn't see the point, and his mother either didn't see the need to fight the battle, or thought she'd have longer to teach him but died before she was able to.

The worldbuilding fell apart in other areas, however, such as the supposedly indentured servants running around town without consequence? I get that Willy's laundry invention was doing the actual work for them, but early in the movie there's a huge point made of how they all have to be present for roll call at least once a day, and then this just... kind of gets forgotten about. And then also somehow Mrs Scrubbit is able to just get into the chocolate stores and poison them all without anyone knowing, and also without taking any more direct action like making sure they're all locked up and can't leave? And where the hell was Willy storing all of the chocolates he was making to have enough to totally fill that shop?

Speaking of the indentured servants... okay, you can make a case for most of them. Abacus and Piper actually kind of grew on me. But I am convinced the comedian only exists because they thought of the scene where Willy shares his mother's last chocolate bar and realised they needed six characters to split the pieces between. He does nothing! Absolutely nothing! He is there for a few brief moments of appalling cringe comedy and nothing more! His supposed talent he brings to the team is one throwaway line where he pretends he's talking to a fucking octopus!

And it's infuriating because they could have done something with this guy! What if he actually was a good comedian with a great stage presence who fell on hard times because he made fun of the chocolate cartel in one of his shows and they got him blacklisted? What if he was the one who helped Willy develop his showmanship to sell his chocolates? Wouldn't that have made far more sense, and made him far more integral to the plot, than a few off-colour "hurr durr hate muh wife" jokes???

Controversial opinion on side characters: I loved Hugh Grant the Oompa Loompa. I was expecting to hate him, but he charmed me. I did raise my eyebrows at the fucking speedboat yacht what the hell, but eh, fine, it was one brief shot, I can live with it. I honestly feel like Lofty and Noodle carried this movie on their tiny sarcastic shoulders. What did annoy me was the ending sequences of the movie, where the writers seemed to abruptly realise they had strayed too far from the bounds of 'explicit prequel to the Wilder movie' and tried to fix this by having Lofty spout off a number of Wonka's most memorable lines in quick succession, as if to scream SEE, SEE, IT'S A PREQUEL, HE'S SAYING THE THING, IT'S A PREQUEL---

I think the point could have been hammered home far more effectively by having a last interaction between Slugworth and Willy before the Slugworth's arrest, where Slugworth says something to the effect of "I'll be back, and I'll stop at nothing to ruin you". Cliche? Sure. But at least it would create an actual bridge between the two movies. As it stands, there's little to no actual setup for the spying and conflict because... the chocolate cartel are being sent to prison (indefinitely?). Again, maybe have Slugworth or one of the others point out that fraud isn't a life sentence, and they will be back.

(Actually, I would have given anything for Slugworth to try to talk Noodle around to his side - offer her the money, books, clothes, etc., tell her she's his niece, play it as if he's so glad to have found her, tell her she'll be his heir - give us a dark mirror of Wonka's eventual relationship with Charlie, and a hint of Willy having to face what betrayal by those he trusts looks like.)

I also felt like the movie's attitude towards chocolate itself was bizarrely conflicted. One the one hand: it's the most amazing and delicious and incredible thing ever! Everyone should be able to buy chocolate! On the other: hahaahaha look at the stupid fat police chief and hohohohohoo look at the stupid corrupt chocaholic monks. Yeah, yeah, you can handwave it as a question of degree, but it hits on the same sour note as Augustus Gloop in the original: why is it a bad thing to enjoy chocolate, and even (gasp! shock! horror!) be fat?

Other minor grumbles that probably bother nobody but me:

Sovereigns aren't fucking silver, they're explicitly gold, they've always been gold, they are literally one of the highest denomination of historical British coinage. Hearing characters treat single sovereigns as essentially small change set my teeth on edge from the start. If the writers wanted to use a historical-sounding coin, why not shilling? Actually, shillings would have fit in much better with the in-universe value attributed to silver sovereigns. I've got twelve silver shillings in my pocket even has the same cadence!

I don't like Timothee's singing and did not find any of the songs to be particularly affecting or memorable. The movie did not need to be a musical. I particularly disliked the cover of Pure Imagination, which was juuuuust enough off from the original that it put my back up. I don't know if I feel like this because I was so done with everything else in the movie that annoyed me by that point, but I just... felt like so many of the songs sounded the same? Not sure if that was because of an intention by the composer or a limitation from Timothee's vocal range, or both, but the only song that I even kind of liked was the villain song, and frankly that might just be due to the vague homoeroticism winding its way through that scene.

Why is he milking a giraffe. Mammals don't... they don't just constantly... was the giraffe pregnant??? Have any of the writers ever set foot on a farm ever. Do they think cows just Do That. Please get these people a book on basic biology.

[hellcatinnc]

Wonka Movie Review

Includes Spoilers

I wanted to sit down and write a review on this that me and my husband finally sat down and watched. I think it was worth a watch and its on hbo max at the moment.

The world they made and how beautiful it looked I feel like was done better than any other one in the past. Granted its newer and there is more things that can be added now days but it really is my now favorite Wonka movie and favorite actor in it.

Compared to the others who played it in the past I think Timothee Chalamet did an amazing job. He brought a different feel I had never seen before. Like I always considered Wonka creepy but this version was actually relatable. He was sweet and kind and wanted to make his dreams happen so he could see his mom again one day. It was sad in parts due to this.

The musical side of things got old fast not saying his voice wasn't good but in the beginning I felt like there was more singing than needed to be. Thats saying something since I do love musicals but I wasn't getting a real feel for him until he stopped. Granted there is singing through out however it is toned down alot so you can learn the characters, which I was thankful for.

He has a very cheeky personality and even a little scandalous or maybe a but racy compared to the normal wonka, with his little verse at one point.

"She 'll be thankful for an ankle.

She'll be pleased to see your knees.

But if you want to make her sigh, show some thigh"

I wasn't sure how they were gonna do the oompa loompa's I was never a huge fan of them but I swear since they brought Hugh Laurie into it that fixed that I love him as a actor anyways. He made that part so much funnier than I think it would have been without him. Not to mention he also made it a bit more badass which the writing was perfect for. I love how you see how their annoyance turned into being friends.

Introducing Noodles into it was perfect I liked her from the start and they were pretty much instant friends. I know some places online consider her his love interest and if this was a Japanese anime possibly but this is American/English and we both know they ain't changing that here in the west with age gaps of 14 year and a 22 year old. However I still think he gives her something to live for, she has spent her life in such a bad way and he gives her hope and even helps her find her mom. He was willing to give up his own dream for her to have her freedom. This was such a sweet thing to see and I even think the actress played well with his character.

Overall it had funny moments, sad moments, wacky moments and just plain fun. I really do suggest anyone watch this even if you hated ones in the past you might just like this one, you might just love Wonka in the end, I know I do.

[anxiouslyfred]

A World of Their Own

Summary: Virgil shares a world with his soulmate, but instead of having actual locations recreated in it to help them find each other as he does, Virgil finds his soulmate's additions to be more fantastical or random.

/\/\

What if you were the only two people in the world?

Come with me and you'll see a world of pure imagination.

In a world of my own.

So many phrases and questions that Virgil never once saw the point or creativity in. Of course everyone has a world of their own, and of course they have all seen a world of pure imagination. More than that, except for the rare instances of polyamorous soulmates, it was blatantly clear that every single person knew what it could be like if there were only two people in the world, even if the full experience of being together with the second person only occurred after meeting them in the over-populated one.

Of course, he understood that in Willy Wonka, the magic was that the chocolatier had brought his world into the over-populated one, and in Alice in Wonderland the magic was because her world was populated and she couldn't do anything to impact the characters when she was inside it. They were characters where the soulmate world was in some way altered or broken and they had to learn to live with it was it is.

It still seemed nonsensical that these stories and films tried to act like people didn't already share worlds of their own with their soulmate, formed and changed by their own imaginations.

Now for his world, or shared world with his soulmate, Virgil tried to be sensible. He tried to do things that would help his soulmate either find or get to know him a bit better. He'd make rooms and places specific to how he was feeling but try to recreate local buildings, parks, statues, anything noticeable enough that he thought it might help this other person find him.

His soulmate did not do this.

Take tonight for example, when Virgil got to their world the sky was neon green, dappled with fuschia in an imitation of light shining through leaves. Flying through the sky seemed to be a dragon as well, which soon landed in front of him and Virgil just wanted to snuggle into its fur.

There was a feline quality about it and if it wasn't for the gold piles that seemed to form wherever it landed, Virgil would have just assumed it was meant to be a magical cat with additional spines as weapons. The gold appeared and he couldn't deny how dragonish it felt regardless. Especially when it essentially threw him onto its back to fly around with him for a while. Virgil hoped that he remembered this upon meeting his soulmate so he could yell about how dangerous making unwilling people ride animals could be.

It was only when they landed again that Virgil began to make a few new changes himself, placing the statue in the park he liked to sit and read under near a building of his left only slightly damaged from whatever adventures his soulmate had made occur. Then he allowed himself some fun, relaxing his need to share where he lives in order to comfort himself after a long week of trying to learn and remember all he could.

Darkness spread over the world like a blanket and the blankets that began forming held him into his body easily. Plants grew tall around him where he and the dragon lay, hiding the from the judgements of the world and reminding Virgil that it's okay for him to be part of the background, unseen.

*

“You do not define relationships intended by the authors. You only define how you as a reader interpret that and you are not the conclusion. You are a footnote in the story that is easily able to be removed. Continue yelling, sweetheart. This story isn't yours and condemning it to me only encourages me to write things as vaguely as I want.” Remus stood from his seat, kneeling at the edge of the platform for this event to lean over the questioner more. “Keep the fanfiction for the fandom, not the author. I will not discredit anyone's headcanon and right now will say with certainty that yours is wrong simply because you elected to interpret and then lecture me upon it.

His world was going to burn tonight. He needed that energy and warmth.

And jellyfish. It was definitely a night to chill out with jellyfish flying around and everything burning. Unless of course he was right in thinking this town was familiar, that the streets and that park had both been in his world at some point in the last month.

Meeting his soulmate was definitely going to change his plans for their world somehow. Perhaps he would even try to help sometimes, given the amount that calming or venting type things appeared in the frustratingly normal places they'd create. At the very least he'd know more about how they're feeling or what they need in order to help them.

Remus's musings carried on through the rest of the Q&A and returned once he'd finished greeting and signing everything that nights fans had to hand.

He was curious enough about the places that had formed in his world that instead of heading straight to the hotel as he emerged from the event into darkness, he headed into the park. The entrance felt even more familiar now it was night.

*

There was the statue. It had been put in their world so many times that Remus had essentially marked it as unchangeable. He'd move it around sometimes but never get rid of it. It had to be important to his soulmate.

“Looks like a nice place to camp out.” Remus mused after walking around it a couple times, noticing the person curled on a bench sketching, but not intentionally talking to them.

The person snorting at his words got him to turn around. “You inspected it like a piece of real estate for sale and just decide your camping here? You don't look like you're homeless so what're you running from?” The stranger asked, back tensing at Remus's gaze no matter how flippant the words were.

“Nothing! I'm following clues on a lifetime mystery. I'm hoping there's a body at the end of it and this is all a way for me to be framed for murder.” Remus cheerfully explained the first story that jumped into his head.

He got a weirded out look back. “Or are you trying to make looking for things your soulmate put into your world sound more exciting?”

“Are you saying you haven't realised the potential for framing your soulmate for murder in sharing worlds inaccessible from anyone bar you and them?” Remus asked immediately. “I never understand why people keep telling stories of the connection being broken or working differently when it's far more interesting to ask what would happen if the shared world worked perfectly but your soulmate was a horrible person and decided to frame you for their crimes, or push their worst views of people in their life onto you so meeting them all would feel like a nightmare of guessing what was just exaggerated and what's a complete lie.”

“Thanks, if my soulmate ever starts including things from the real world, I know not to go looking.” The stranger clicked. “Does mean that since they don't seem to have found anything I've added that I guess we aren't going to meet though.”

Remus looked to them, moving as close as he could to sit on the bench beside them. “Things you've added like this statue and the entrance to the park, right?”

“Personal space dude!” Remus was shoved back before the stranger. “Wait, h-how did you know that?”

“Guessed. Besides this statue is like the only thing I won't destroy or remove of my soulmates editions given how often they've added it.” He shrugged. “Any chance you've seen my feline dragons?”

They jumped to their feet now, sketchbook still in hand and very quickly being shut. “You're some stranger I just met in the park who's already suggested using this connection to frame a soulmate for murder or crimes in general and now you're trying to claim to be mine? Get the fuck away from me!” The yell was said as the figure started running not giving Remus a chance to say anything to counter the concerns he had pretty much given them on a plate.

“Guess that means you are my soulmate though.” He muttered, slouching back on the bench for a moment before deciding that acting like a stalker wouldn't help his case and moping in a bed in his hotel would be more comfortable.

At least he knew that looking for things he recognised from their world was worthwile.

*

Virgil hadn't meant to run. He's promised himself once that he wouldn't run away from his soulmate, but he was cautious, beyond that anxious. It had been a long week of trying to meet deadlines and he'd gone to the park last night to calm down, and draw without having enough light to constantly criticise himself.

The things the man had been saying didn't help either. He'd only replied thinking he was being addressed and then got his own method of trying to meet his soulmate turned negative. It turned the ever present concerns that he was doing something wrong back into the loudest thing he could hear until feline dragons were mentioned.

After that all he heard was that his soulmate thought he was trying to frame him for murder, his soulmate wouldn't trust him. This person he shared a world with already thought the worst of him.

Of course sleep now wouldn't be the escape he wanted, too used to reaching for their world rather than letting himself drift off naturally.

And there was Virgil's soulmate again, sitting at the base of the statue, other things he'd made and seen destroyed or redesigned surrounding them and flowers, so many flowers.

“We actually did meet then.” His soulmate stated, remaining still instead of turning to Virgil at all. “Do you ever edit stories?”

Virgil's face scrunched up as he tried to understand the question. If he'd expected anything it would have been asking his name or anger over the fact he ran away.“No, why?”

“Just realised the shared world could be used to show you exactly what I'm imagining so you could accurately edit stuff better than anyone.” The guy shrugged. “Especially now we know each other.”

“Let's rewind to what's your name, why the hell you'd think I could edit anything and maybe letting your anger over the fact I fucking fled out so I'm not waiting constantly for it to explode out of you.” He snapped so quickly he wished it was instinctual rather than him deciding to maybe play into the worst of himself if that's what was expected.

He was met with laughter. “Okay, I'm Remus, you're hot stuff, and anyone who can recreate locations in this much detail in the world of our own has some eye for details and I'm betting that goes for writing descriptions as well as drawing or remodelling. Besides, if I need to get my anger out I'll just tell Roman that there are no happy ever afters in the world, just broken people helping each other. The fight that starts gets every emotion vented.”

“Unhealthy relationship with your brother then. And I'm Virgil. Still don't think it's a good idea to have someone who's never edited anyone's writing do so.”

Remus grinned, “Just makes me want to do it more. Didn't you realise I was still looking for you for all my theorising over how this world could be used in fiction earlier? Besides you seem nervous, if you're helping to edit my next book, there's no pressure on us to be anything else to each other, but we're still there ”

“A working relationship until we know each other better?” Virgil asked cautiously.

“Or as long as you're comfortable with that. You want to change it, tell me then and we'll change it.” Remus agreed.

The world was their own, and for once, Virgil could understand that his soulmate, that Remus, didn't care over how differently they'd used it or rather shaped and added to it. He only cared that they were comfortable with each other.

[much-the-millers-kid]

Random Monster Prom/Camp Headcanon: Vicky Schmidt is the reanimated Veruca Salt from Charlie/Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Do I have anything to support this? Only that both of their initials are VS and in the Musical CATCF Veruca gets dismembered so she’d have to be Frankensteined back together.

Am I going to be thinking about it all night anyway? Hell yeah.

[pines-troz]

Animaniacs & Willy Wonka AU

So I made up this AU back in January, but because the Twisted Toons VA reading at IndyPop Con, where Maurice read the part of Willy Wonka as the Brain reignited my passion for this silly little AU!

Major Players

Wakko Warner - Charlie Bucket

Wakko Warner is a kid with a special interest in candy who works as a shoeshine to support his family and his dreams come true when he comes across the fifth and final golden ticket. He is excited to meet his heroes, Pinky and Brain, and eagerly listens to them during the tour, especially when Brain tells him and the others to keep the Everlasting Glarb-stopper safe from others. After going through the tour of the factory, Wakko is tested for his morality when he takes responsibility for his actions of testing the Fizzy Lifting drinks by apologizing to the mice and retuning the everlasting Glarb-stopper back, and he is rewarded for his good deed. Brain and Pinky show Wakko and Dr. Scratchinsniff the glass elevator and they fly around town. When Wakko spots his house, they descend there, where they reunite with the rest of his family. Brain and Pinky then tell Wakko that in addition to the lifetime supply of chocolate, he will inherit the chocolate factory and his family will move in there the following day. 

Pinky and Brain - Willy Wonka

The mice own a chocolate factory, originally used as a plan to take over the world, and they succeeded in that regard. Their chocolates and confectionaries are beloved by people all over the globe. After learning that Snowball stole some of his recipes, Brain fired his workers and shut the factory down for three years, until he and Pinky made an entire workforce out of genetically-altered carrots named Maurice. Their candies became best-sellers again, but the factory gates remained closed to the outside world. While Brain was initially happy that he and Pinky are the kings of the candy-making world, he has grown old and wants to retire. So he and Pinky devise a contest where they send out five golden tickets to find a child worthy to inherit their confectionary empire. They send out their son, Romy, to pose as their business rival Snowball as part of the morality test to see which contestant will refuse his offer of stealing the Everlasting Glarb-stopper in exchange for ten million dollars. Once they declare Wakko the winner of the contest, they give him the factory and allow and his family to move in.  Pinky represents Wonka’s eccentricity and sense of wonderment while Brain harbors Wonka’s sardonic brilliance. 

Dr. Otto Scratchinsniff - Grandpa Joe

Dr. Scratchinsniff once worked in Pinky and Brain’s chocolate factory as their personal therapist, but after Brain experienced a horrible betrayal by some of his workers, who were spies sent by his business rival Snowball, he was fired from his job. Tragedy struck when his good friends, William and Angelina, tragically passed on, leaving behind their three children; Yakko, Wakko, and Dot. Scratchy and his friend Hello Nurse stepped up to the plate and raised the three children while having to work many odd jobs to put food on the table and pay the bills. Despite being overworked, Scratchy still has time to indulge Wakko’s interest by telling him stories about his old job at the chocolate factory. When Wakko brought home the fifth and final golden ticket, he chooses Scratchy to accompany him during the tour of the factory. Additionally, Scratchy is far different from Grandpa Joe as he works his butt off to support his family and doesn’t lay in bed for twenty years and finally gets up when he gets to go to the chocolate factory. 

Taz - Augustus Gloop

A glutton who loves to eat candy. He is accompanied by his father, Hugh, who is rather supportive of his hobby. However, he falls into the chocolate river and goes up the tube and experiences, in Pinky’s words, “the joy of the suck”. 

Elmyra - Violet Beauregard

An annoying little girl who loves to chew gum and hug animals to the point of hurting them. She is also very loud and rude. When she goes to chew a piece of gum that is not finished, Brain makes no effort to stop her and he watches her inflate to a giant blueberry with a smugly satisfied smile. 

Thaddeus Plotz - Veruca Salt

A greedy CEO that is spoiled beyond belief. He is surrounded by a group of yes-men, including his security guard Ralph, who tries hard to satisfy his boss’s every need, and his co-worker, Nora Rita Norita, who nonchalantly watches her boss’s antics without much care. He paid several studio workers to open up thousands of chocolate bars and letting them go to waste until one of them found the golden ticket. Plot brings Ralph with him to the factory with the intention of stealing the everlasting Glarb-stopper and bringing it to a white mouse with buck-teeth who goes by Snowball in exchange for ten million dollars. When they go to the golden goose room, Plotz sings about how much he wants everything and stands on the weight, which declares him a bad egg and is sent down the garbage chute. 

Mindy - Mike Teevee

Mindy is a curious toddler who finds herself in trouble. Her neglectful mother does not help this case. When they arrive at the TV room, Mindy toddles over to the platform. When her mother recognizes that her daughter is in danger, it is too late as Mindy is shrunk to the size of two inches. 

Hello Nurse - Mrs. Bucket

A kind and supportive maternal figure for the Warners. When Wakko is feeling down that he may not get a golden ticket, she reminds him that he is special just the way he is. 

Yakko, Dot, Rita and Runt - The Rest of the Bucket Family

Yakko and Dot also work part-time jobs to support the family, with Yakko working as a babysitter and Dot owning her own lemonade stand. Rita and Runt were adopted by Scratchy and they have a particular fondness for the Warners. They are very supportive of Wakko’s interest and are elated when he gets the golden ticket. 

Romy - Mr. Wilkenson/Slugworth

Romy is the cloned son of Pinky and Brain. Even though Brain wanted Romy to inherit the factory, Romy decided to follow his dream of becoming a ventriloquist. Years later, Romy received a phone call from his dads about assisting them in their contest to find a rightful heir to the factory by posing as their business rival Snowball and tempting the contestants with the offer of ten million dollars in exchange for the Everlasting Glarb-stopper. When the contest is over, Romy reveals to Wakko that he posed as Snowball to help his dads find the right person to own the factory. 

Snowball - Slugworth

Snowball was once Brain’s closest friend before turning on him. When he heard that the mice own their own successful chocolate factory, Snowball decided to make his own confectionary factory and became their biggest competitor. However, the mice proved that their candies outsold Snowball’s. He got desperate and hired a group of spies (Billie, Julia, Egwind, and Larry) to infiltrate the factory as workers and steal Brain’s recipes. When the mice learned that Snowball’s latest best-selling candies were eerily similar to their own, Brain confronted the hamster and learned that the four workers he liked actually worked for Snowball. This caused Brain to fire his workers and shut the factory down until he found another way to stat up the factory without hiring new workers. 

[madillhethen]

KnK ep 5 part 2

It swaps over to Mikiya side after Shiki is captured and I think this was really cool. Going back in time and showing what Touko and Mikiya were up to. (Especially since there was that one scene with Enjou sitting with them.)

Mikiya does some PI work-he could be in a supernatural criminal minds show-while working with Touko. That conversation about Mikiya loving Shiki regardless of gender was just hilarious to me, how oblivious he is to the reactions of those around him. He really loved Shiki.

Though I’m not fond of dolls, I have to admire the art exhibit scenes with TM Willy Wonka aka Alba and Touko. Touko makes some pretty interesting dolls (unless all three of the former friends have a doll making career, I’m assuming Alba buys Touko’s art?).

I think this is where the whole Fate connection comes in play in this episode. Souren is searching for the Root—the whole reason the Holy Grail War was created was the attempt to reach the root, made by three ‘friends’. Makiris, Tohsakas, and Einzberns—which I want to point out that Touko and her friends are kind of reminiscent of those three. (Or vice versa since KnK came before Fate).

Touko makes doll like clones, pretty similar to how All the homunculi are made in Justeaze’s image. Souren’s been searching to obtain the way to the Root for years just like Zouken. And Alba…I have no idea if he has any similarities to the Tohsaka ancestor besides Alba running around in a red color scheme. (Souren even says he had feelings for Touko, I’m not sure if he was confessing but hmm I thought someone told me Zouken was in love with Justeaze, not sure how true that is.)

I think Touko really takes center stage here. We get to see how badass she is. Apparently she has a briefcase with demons inside (Newt Scamander?) but Souren has accumulated boundary fields over the years and he easily ‘kills’ her.

When I saw her die I was a bit surprised. It was real quick, no one to grieve, a shocking moment but definitely not a good sendoff for a prominent character.

And true enough, Touko reappears just in time to save Mikiya and utterly kills Alba for calling her a name. I find it funny Souren heard Alba say it and basically was like ‘yeah, no, you’re on your own’. The real Touko is never explained in the movie but with how much dolls she makes I’m thinking every Touko is a doll. I’ll probably find out more in LN.

Which brings me to another point that I didn’t realize before but Touko was in Heaven’s Feel, Huh?

Sakura and Rin pass her by. Shirou’s body is artificial but it’s basically a ‘normal’ body that functions like a regular human. Hmm, so Touko made his body, perhaps? Well, regardless it was a nice touch for ufotable to add this since they spent a long time animating the KnK movies.

Shiki ends up killing Souren but not before Touko can have some final words to him. We learn that despite his evil methods, Souren’s wish was a pure one. He saw people die endlessly and wanted to find a reason for it all, and if I understood correctly, he wanted them to be remembered.

There was something I just really liked about this scene between Souren and Touko. Just the fact, it’s calm and it almost feels like she’s sending her long time friend off and not so much they were enemies, I didn’t feel or see any enmity in his final moments between them and that was nice. I also really loved their exchanges before Touko’s ‘death’ and his, just that for every question he had an answer and for every answer she had another question. It really did feel like they were friends once and from this exchange you could definitely see it.

“Araya, what do you seek?”

“True wisdom.”

“Araya, where do you seek it?”

“Only within myself.”

“Araya, where are you trying to reach?”

“That’s obvious. To the end of this paradox spiral of a world.”

I actually really liked that this isn’t the end of the series, we still haven’t even gotten the answer to everything revolving Shiki and yet the main antagonist is gone. It just goes to show that Souren has a greater influence in this whole ordeal whether alive or not and I think that’s great, problems don’t just disappear because a character does, there are still lingering effects.

[letterstomilen]

i discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 2) (ASMR)

Childe/Zhongli, Alternate Universe  When Childe's younger sister tells him about the volunteer at the library, he does not make the connection between that and his new favorite ASMR YouTuber, Rex Lapis.

Childe’s unfortunate love life starts at the age of eight. He, of course, did not call it “love” when he’s eight. When he was eight, he plucked a couple of weeds and sunflowers from his neighbor’s garden before he went to the park and handed them over to a classmate he doesn’t remember the name of now.

Handed over is an understatement here, seeing that she fell over from him shoving the flowers towards her chest before declaring, “Please marry me!”

In hindsight, storming over with the delicacy of an elephant with two left feet was not the best idea. But as somebody who recently discovered that watermelons could not grow out of your stomach no matter what, he was not the brightest. (Lumine now would argue that this is still the case. Unfortunately.)

She, as all eight-year kids would when faced with a loud boy that shoved you to the ground, started bawling. It didn’t help that Childe wasn’t aware of the fact that some worm wriggled in with the weeds and sunflowers he uprooted, with said worm now wiggling on the glittery, cursive ‘i’ in ‘Magical’ on her t-shirt.

This promptly resulted in her mom heading over and a long talk over dinner that night on why you should not ask girls to just marry you at your age.

“So I can ask boys then, right?”

Pleased with the loophole he discovered at age eight, Childe toothily smiled at his mom, who sighed and shook your head.

“You can’t ask anybody to marry you when you’re eight. And please don’t throw flowers at them too.”

The stolen flowers resulted in him being on his neighbor’s blacklist for the next couple of years; this in itself was fine, seeing that Childe was always a bit of a troublemaker and it was bound to happen at some point. However, the crying girl left a big impression on him even as he got older.

It did help that the older he got, the more silver-tongued he became, but this resulted in short-term relationships and a famous incident that once got dubbed ‘Tartaglia’s Shakespearean Slipup.’ (It involved a drunk retelling of Macbeth, several dumb questions, and a shirt that could never get the stain washed off of it.)

So in short, Childe’s love life is, to put it bluntly, a travesty. It has been downhill ever since he was eight years old, and nearly two decades later, he’s sure that he finally hit rock bottom.

“Tonia,” he begins, wondering how his little sister could be so cute yet so cruel at the same time, “what did you not tell Zhongli?”

“Hmm… Oh, I didn’t tell him about your obsession with his channel!” And cue the self-satisfied smile before she took another sip of his coffee.

Oh lord, she learned it from him.

“Anything else?” he presses, wondering what kind of image he has of him now — definitely not a good one. No amount of smooth talking or knowledge about petrology could save him from his past mistakes. He’s sure that Zhongli would not take kindly to the plethora of times that his insobriety has made him infamous among certain groups of people.

And he’ll admit just to himself, he was wholly unprepared for this. He couldn’t even be lulled to sleep by his voice last night — which is unfortunate because the series where he discussed the inspiration behind Tao Yuanming’s work just came out and if there’s one thing Childe likes, it’s poetry — because he couldn’t stop himself from thinking that he knew who he was.

Except not as Childe. As Tartaglia, his younger sister clarified, ever so proud of herself that she taught somebody how to say his birth name correctly, never mind that it stumped even the most persistent of professors.

“Not really! He said he likes listening to me brag about my older brother! ‘Cause he’s an only child and everything. Actually… he mentioned that you’d like to hear your stories sometime. Sweet, right?”

“My stories,” Childe echoes slowly. “The ones I told you when you were a kid? The fairytale rip-offs?”

“Yup.”

“Including the one where the kids locked the evil queen up and used her Magic Mirror to cheat on their tests?”

Admittedly, he was a bit lazy with that one. But Tonia was just eight and Childe was half-awake, trying to remember the difference between Hudibrastic and hija. So, like any good literature major with a bone to pick with their academic advisor, he decided that he’d very subtly rehash Snow White and make it all about cheating. (On tests of course.)

“Yuup. They got in trouble, right?”

They didn’t, but his mom would have his head if he said otherwise, so he smiles at her, ruffles her hair, and says with the attitude of a picture-perfect older brother, “Of course. The evil queen immediately sent them to the dungeon. So don’t cheat, okay?”

She nods, rewarding her compliance with another sip of his coffee. The library is fairly close to their apartment, as all things in Liyue are. A tightly packed city by the sea where you were sure to know everything about your neighbor and their neighbor. Which meant that the tenants next door still remembered when Childe first moved in and spent a week high on ambien, only to invest his time in writing a paper about how Snowpiercer was the sequel to Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. (When they spoke for the first time, they asked politely if he could please turn down the volume, because it was difficult to sleep when your neighbor watched the two movies consecutively with the volume all the way up at three in the morning, don’t you think?)

(The paper ended up being legible to only the most dedicated of readers anyways.)

Deciding that they’re an appropriate distance from the entrance of the library now, Tonia stops walking and drags her brother towards the benches. “Now, before I take you to meet Zhongli, I just want to ask you one thing.”

He looks at her expectantly, wondering if she’s going to ask if he remembers what Lumine said. Don’t embarrass yourself, don’t act shady, and before you do something—think ITWTWW? (A.K.A Is This What Tsaritsa Would Want? A joke that arose after a particularly hellish class last year after the professor’s attention towards Childe was a source of debate—did she hate him? Did she think of him as her son? Did he—a suggestion brought forth by Aether—remind her of annoying neighbors that’d spend all night partying? To this day, he still doesn’t know.)

“What is it?”

“Did you bring your library card?”

“Huh?”

It turns out, Childe learns five minutes later with relief that his long-forgotten library card was collecting dust in his wallet, that Zhongli has a limit on books he can check out because he’s always forgetting them. And his overdue fees are quite an impressive sum—both for a library volunteer and anybody that’s frequented a library for the past decade.

But to the library’s great relief, he’s only checking out books nobody has ever checked out in the past so by default they belong to him now. (No harm no foul—unless you’re the occasional poor individual that has to research an incredibly specific and niche topic only to find out that the book is not in the library at the moment.)

Tonia sounds immensely proud of herself as she informs him of this while they wait for him to finish help somebody find a book. Help is an understatement, Childe realizes, as he watches Zhongli talk, smiling as he ensnares the visitor in an answer to a question where “yes” or “no” would have sufficed.

It’s ridiculously cute. Really. Tonia seems used to this sight as she drags Childe closer to the two. Zhongli must’ve realized that he slipped into a tangent because he apologizes and points to the nonfiction section before opening his book once more.

“Oh… I forgot.” Tonia purses her lips the same way Lumine does as she sighs, lowering the hand that she was enthusiastically waving moments earlier.

“Hm?”

“He won’t notice us. Ah, Zhongli,” she says melodramatically while they watch him flip through pages in a book, her tone every bit the longing princess in books they poured over when she was younger. “Why can’t you see us? Isn’t my wonderful big brother enough to catch your attention?”

He’s very flattered. Really. He knows that compliment was partially influenced by letting her have a lion’s share of his drink and Lumine’s sarcasm, but he takes it in stride, squeezing her cheeks. Tonia rolls her eyes in response, and heads over to Zhongli, chatting him up quicker than Childe can respond.

“And this is my older brother,” she introduces, gesturing her hand towards Childe, who smiles brightly, hoping he looks every bit the composed person he doesn’t feel like right now.

Zhongli is just as charming in person and it doesn’t help that just the realization he’s standing right here makes Childe’s pulse race, contributing to his increasingly forced smile that he reserves for uncomfortable situations. Oblivious to that, Zhongli smiles at him—one that is ingrained in his memory from days of watching it on loop —and says, “You must be Tartaglia, right? Tonia told me a lot about you.”

Oh fuck. 

His first thought: of course she told him about him. He knew beforehand, the dread of being characterized through his sister’s dramatizations of Childe’s mistakes. It’s partially why he could only get up this morning through two cups of coffee and dunking his head in the freezer for several minutes.

But also his name— 

Childe’s torn between asking why the hell his sister told him his real name or excusing himself to go read a dictionary to cool his nerves. Even though he’s well aware most of his family calls him Tartaglia still—mainly his parents when he’s in trouble (which, to be fair, is most of the time)—most people in Liyue call him Childe for two reasons.

One, Tartaglia is a mouthful and two, after many questions about how his name was pronounced only to get it butchered on several occasions, he’s stopped. (Scaramouche, Tsaritsa, and Signora are the only ones who call him that at this point, really; but he’s convinced Scaramouche does it just to vex him.)

“Yes,” he chokes out. “That’s me. Tartaglia.”

Childe decides that if Zhongli would just say his name and nothing else, he would die happy. Which is a mortifying thought but maybe a little bit of an upgrade from falling asleep to listening him talk about rocks. Isn’t it?

“You can call him Childe,” Tonia offers. “My brother doesn’t like it when people call him Tartgalia.”

His mouth forms an ‘o’ out of realization and sheepishly says, “My deepest apologies, Childe.”

“N-no—” Childe starts, his sister’s expression burning into the back of his head. “It sounds really nice when you say it. Call me Tartaglia—anything you’d like, really.”

“Oh, yeah. I forgot.” Tonia smiles mischievously, implying that she never forgot all along as she raises a finger to her chin in mock thought. “You watch his ASMR channel, don’t you?”

“You do?”

They both turn to Childe, who’s sure this is turning into an interrogation; their burning gazes, the expectant silence, and a question he’s reluctant to answer.

“Yeah. I’m a huge fan,” he confesses brightly. “My favorite series of yours is the petrology one. It felt really nostalgic.”

He never thought he’d remember high school clearly ever again, but the videos made his classes a little less lazy. And the heat of the sun on the back of his neck as he slept in class would follow, lulled to sleep by a lecture he couldn’t quite remember. But he recalled his friends’ amusement clearly when they asked how he managed to sleep nearly every class, only to get a cheeky smile as an answer.

“Is that so? May I interest you in some books then? There’s quite the collection here, although I’m not sure which would interest you the most then. Any preferences?”

Ohhh, his expectant look was so cute. But Tonia looks bored at the prospect, so he clears his throat instead.

“Actually, I came here to check out Legend of the Lone Sword so I could follow along with your newest video,” he finally says. “Could you show me where it is?”

“Hmm… We do have two copies but unfortunately both have been checked out. One has just been checked out by Xingqiu and the other… ah, it’s still at my house. We’re having difficulties with the video unfortunately because Venti said… now what did he say?” Zhongli asks himself, humming as he takes out his phone and reads out loud.

“’Find somebody that’s willing to record the video and help you set up b-c’… er, before Christ?”

“Because,” Childe clarifies.

“Thank you. ‘Because I can’t do it without laughing’,” he finishes before sighing. “Also several crying emojis followed by a wine emoji and a suggestion for me to find Diluc…? There are also several other texts that I would not be able to read out loud but that’s the gist of it. As soon as I manage to find somebody, I’ll be able to return the book so you can check it out. My apologies.”

Diluc? All Childe remembers about him is what Lumine once said about him.

‘I was convinced him and Kaeya hated each other until I found out they were siblings.” A pause. Then: ‘I’m still fairly sure they hate each other. They’re at each other’s throats a lot. Diluc more so.’

He had not considered him to be a rival in love. Granted — that’s limited information from several years ago but it’s not as if Childe knows that many people outside of his own department. But still. 

Eager to save any chance of a love life, Childe says, “Why don’t I help you record?”

“That’s a great idea! Then my brother can read the book while he stays over. Right?” Tonia presses on, smiling far too brightly for his taste as Zhongli muses, considering the possibility.

“Are you sure that wouldn’t be too much trouble?”

Childe nearly stumbles at the sight of his relief. Really, his smile isn’t good for his heart—neither is the look he gives him, as if he hung over the moon that very moment. “None at all.”

“What a relief… I’ll tell Venti immediately that I can record the ‘ASMR: Boyfriend Reads to You’ video.”

—What?

Zhongli looks up from his phone after he texts his friend and tilts his head slightly in confusion, his earring brushing against his shoulder.

He looks adorably concerned and maybe a little bit aware that he’s responsible for Childe’s reaction. “Is there something wrong?”

“N-no. Nothing. That’s great. Good. I’m excited to be your boyfriend.”

Tonia lets out a little giggle and he’s sure that there’s somebody at the library silently praying for his downfall as he hurriedly corrects himself. “For the video, of course. Should I give you my number so we can set a date?”

Not deterred by Childe’s flustered expression, Zhongli nods as he hands him his phone. Maybe this is what he expected—that’d most likely be the case if most of his prior knowledge about Childe came from Tonia, who delights in both embarrassing and complimenting her brother like there’s no tomorrow. “Of course. Please give me your number.”

So with the shame of a college student that never managed to shake off his competitive streak from high school, Childe types his number in and promises himself that this won’t happen again.

(His younger sister lords it over him anyways on the way home, a skip in her step as she recalls it.)

Childe 2:34 i got his #

Twin 1 2:35 for the video recording*

Twin 1 2:35 u also embarrassed yourself. tonia told me all about it lol

Ugh. Of course she did. Childe peeks his head into his sister’s room, hearing her recount the library incident with a few more exaggerations poking fun at what he did than he’d like. Aether must be having the time of his life, which should make them equal considering that Childe made him think that Scaramouche was the best TA ever and would be even nicer if you made him an apple pie. (He hated apples.)

Well. They’re even now, aren’t they?

Childe 2:38 ya but he didn’t notice so its ok. BTW neither of u told me he was that airheaded

Twin 1 2:38 itd be funnier that way

Childe 2:39 oh yeah it was really cute

Twin 1 2:41 didn’t need to know that. anyways u do know how to work a camera right?

Childe 2:41 yea…? who do you think takes all of tonia’s pictures

Twin 1 2:42 no i mean like actual professional cameras used to record

Hm… That was a bit of an oversight on his part, wasn’t it? He texts a quick ‘yeah’ because it couldn’t be that bad and he’ll watch several videos on how to work a camera later, won’t he? There should be three buttons max. Easy.

Not to mention he took an elective on film and he’s watched Zhongli’s videos more times than he can count at this point. So really, there’s not much to worry about. The only problem is that he needs to build up immunity.

If he looks like a “blushing maiden”—Tonia’s words, not his—every time Zhongli looks at him, wouldn’t that be trouble? It’s bad enough that he embarrassed himself in front of his twelve-year-old sister but to look like a fool in front of the same guy his sleeping schedule depends on would be debilitating in more ways than one.

Deciding that he won’t let himself lose this time around, he sends a quick text to Zhongli saying ‘Saturday at 4:00 PM, right? See you there :)’ to psyche himself up before deciding a plan of action. There must be something that’ll impress him—no, completely sweep him off his feet.

More aware than ever that he’s fitting the image of a lovestruck idiot his sister painted him as, Childe watches his phone as it pings with a single ‘OK’ and ‘I am looking forward to working with you’ trying to convince himself that his erratic heart rate and the heat rushing to his face is just a side effect of working with somebody that he greatly admires. (It is, by all accounts, infatuation — but he’ll try to ignore that for now.)

[unmaskedagain]

Ladybug: A Young Avenger

Hey Everyone, I got prompt for a civil war ML crossover fic but I was really into Team Iron Man on Ao3 for longest of times and, after endgame, I kind of need some team fluff. So I tweaked the prompt. It’s still team Iron man; just… not the way you’d expect. (Also did anyone know else know that Penny’s last name was Rolling?)

It took Tony Stark all of five minutes to figure out Ladybug’s identity.

“Jarvis, buddy?” Tony called out.

“Yes, sir?”

“What’s up with teenagers and being bug-themed heroes wearing inappropriate costumes?”

           The A.I took a moment before answering, “…I, for one, blame Vine.”

           Tony sighed. First fifteen-year-old Peter Parker aka Spiderman. He took the kid on an as an intern the second he learned about Spiderman. Now fifteen-year-old Marinette Dupain-Cheng aka Ladybug.

           He groaned.

What could he do? He needed help.

           Captain America needed to be stopped. The Winter Solider needed to be taken down. Team Cap had gone too far.

           It was war.

           Getting Harley Keener, a mechanical mastermind to agree to be his intern was a bit like chewing nails but Tony always knew the kit would agree. Getting Peter Parker, a child genius with a bright future as a scientist, to agree to be his intern was a piece of cake. Honestly Tony could’ve asked for the kid’s soul in repayment and Peter would’ve asked if he wanted on a silver plate or if plastic was okay? Getting Riri Williams, an engineering prodigy to be his intern, was easy. Too easy; her mom practically threw her at him, all while making him swear into a recorder that he wouldn’t sue. No matter what. Introducing the kids to his labs made him feel like Willie Wonka hand-delivering the golden tickets.

           They were all future scientists and engineers like Tony. They grew up worshiping at the altar of Stark Industries like ever future MIT graduate did.

           Marinette Dupain-Cheng, on the other hand, was an entirely different beast who played an entirely different game. She was a fashion prodigy who had designed for stars like Jagged Stone and Clara Nightingale. She had interned for Style Queen Audrey Bourgeois, had her clothes walk the runway during Paris fashion week, and had a summer job that somehow lasted over a year, working for Miranda Priestly, the editor-in-Chief for Runway Magazine when the scary woman took over Paris: Runaway. Said job ended when Miranda when back to New York. Marinette only prayed to the fashion gods. So when Tony Stark, god of the nerds, showed up at her door, she only blinked once.

           Said girl sat between her parents, with cool blue eyes glaring at him suspiciously. Luckily Tony was smart enough to bring Pepper with him.

           Pepper Potts smiled at the family in front of her; two bakers and the daughter, who made the most delicious macarons that she ever tasted. “So you see, after Tony came across Marinette’s wonderful re-design sketch of his suit on her website, he was very impressed with her talent.”

“But to take Marinette on as an intern?” Sabine asked. “Excuse me, but Marinette has always leaned towards the arts than science.”

           Tony gave the woman his best charming smile, “What is science if not another form of art. We both create, strive to better our talents, work to make names for ourselves; experiment and test out hypothesizes. Granted no one in my field ever created the disaster that was crocs.”

           Marinette narrowed her eyes, “Didn’t your father help on the Manhattan Project?”

           Silence.

           Pepper cleared on her throat. “Tom, Sabine, before anyone agrees to anything I’d like to go over safety procedures in place. Would you mind stepping outside with me, I could use a bit of fresh air.”

           Tony and Marinette just stared at each other as the three left the room. When the front door closed behind them, Marinette leaned forward, “What do you want?” Her patience had reached its end.

“Aren’t you being a little rude?” Tony smirked.

“Aren’t you a little old?” Marinette snapped back. “What do you want?”

“I want Ladybug’s help.”

           Marinette flinched back in shock. Her heart raced in her chest. “How do you know?”

“I’m Tony Stark,” He shrugged easily, picking up a mint chocolate Macron. “I know everything.”

           Marinette fought the fear racing through her, and steeled herself like Miranda and Audrey had taught her, “So Iron Man’s wanted Ladybug as an intern? So what does Iron Man get? What does Ladybug get? What does Tony get? And what does Marinette get?”

“You made clear distinctions,” Tony said approvingly, his business-side gearing up. “But I am Iron Man.” He said. “You come to New York for this spring break and for the summer. I get Ladybug’s help in handling a personal issue that has developed within the Avengers. Ladybug gets training from the Avengers. Marinette gets to add Stark Industries and a personal letter of recommendation from Tony Stark to her resume.”

“On the condition, that identities stay secret from the media,” Marinette crossed her arms. “I don’t suppose I can hide it from the rest Avengers for very long. And I get an additional letter of recommendation from Pepper Potts. Pepper takes my friend Chloe on as an intern; she’s the hero, Queen Bee. And only one who knows my identity, besides you. Also, I actually do get to help design your next suit. My expenses?”

           Tony smirk widened. The girl knew how to cover her bases. She even wanted to have an Ally with her should things take a turn. “All paid for by me. First-class all the way. You and Chloe will stay in the Stark Tower on the same floor as the other interns.”

“Other young superheroes, you mean?” Marinette guessed, causing Tony’s eyes to twinkle in joy. “Spiderman, Iron Heart, and WarIron. Based on their sizes, I had guessed they were young; teenagers probably. Why didn’t you ask Chat Noir too? Or why aren’t you? Because you’re not, you would’ve mentioned it by now?”

“You mean the Agreste kid?” Tony said, not noticing Marinette’s eyes widen in surprise. “He’s not serious enough for me. I play games but he goes too far. Surprised you haven’t dumped him yet. Get a better partner.”

           Marinette took a bit of a macron to get a moment to think. Adrien was Chat Noir. In retrospect, it made a lot of sense. Both were socially immature, and a bit naïve. Each had an idealistic view of things and didn’t let the real world break them of it. For example Adrien and his dealing with Lila’s lies. Chat Noir and Ladybug turning down his advances.

“Very well,” The bluenette finally agreed. “I agree to be your intern. Shall we discuss my salary now or later? Well, need to before I or my parents sign any contracts.”

           It was Tony’s turn to narrow his eyes. Not one; not a single one of his interns: Harley, Peter, or Riri ever asked about how much they’d get paid. They’d all assumed it was an unpaid internship and was surprised when their contracts included a salary. “You’re a shark.”

           Marinette hummed, “You should see me when there’s blood in the water.”

           That was something Tony was looking forward to seeing.

           The official paperwork was signed three days later; Marinette was officially a Stark intern. Due to go to Orientation for spring break in New York in a few weeks.

           Those weeks flew by. She let Fu know she’d have to go back and forth for a few weeks. She didn’t bother telling anyone else. Her friendships in the class had dwindled dramatically. While most weren’t her outright enemies, her classmates tended to avoid her. If they couldn’t do that, they were beyond cold to her. It was Lila’s doing. She got her hooks into the class, who all wanted to tie themselves to the golden goose, and when it was clear that Lila and Marinette didn’t like each other, they picked sides. They chose their meal ticket over their lifelong friend.

           Honestly, it made Marinette almost wish that Lila had lied about her instead; accused her of being a bully or something. Anything. Because at least then her ex-friends would have somewhat of a reason to be ex-friends. Even if it wasn’t a very good one. Instead, they were just bad friends all on their own.

           Still, Marinette didn’t mourn their loss as she sat in the back of the class with Chloe on a Sunny Tuesday morning, and they were living for New York that Friday. She had a steadily rising career in Fashion. She had worked under Miranda Priestly and Audrey. From them, she learned it was best to drop fair-weather friends and how to spot wannabes, fame-seekers, and gold-diggers from three miles away.

           She was happy with Chloe as her bestie. The girl had turned a new leaf and proven her loyalty to the point where Fu made her a permanent hero. And the Blond had been ecstatic when Pepper Potts had shown up at their door. She had hugged Marinette a full five minutes for getting her the internship. All while screaming with joy.

           Both girls were excited to go. Though Marinette did encounter one downside. The night before, Jagged Stone and Penny Rolling; or as Marinette deemed them #RollingStone, called her. Or rather Penny did the talking. Jagged was trying to wrestle his newest jacket away from Fang’s teeth. Penny offered Marinette a chance to spend her spring break traveling around on tour with Jagged, as his personal stylist. Marinette had no choice but to turn the job down. She loved her honorary Uncle Jagged but she already signed the contract.

           That morning Lila had spun another set of lies. The first was about helping Tony Stark fix his Iron man suit when she was traveling in America. The second was about the newest song Jagged Stone wrote about her. It was exhausting to listen to but the class hung on every word.

           Bustier had just finished her first lesson of the day when she invited Alya to stand up.

           The glasses-wearing girl grinned at the class, “So as everyone’s aware; there’s a class pool party is this Saturday; first day of spring break, baby!” The class cheered. “Everyone who’s invited should’ve gotten their invitation. Don’t want any drama,” She cast a cold look to the two girls at the back of the class. “Invite only. So no party crashers. Marinette, Chloe what are you doing this Saturday?” Alya smirked at her call out that the two girls weren’t invited; that they were the only ones who weren’t.

           As if on cue, the classroom’s door burst opened and in walked Tony Stark, followed by a very apologetic looking Pepper, “Marinette; it’s time to go! Grab Pepper’s minion and let’s go.”

           There were gasps from the class. Max sat up straight. Iron Man was in front of him, in his class, this was the best day of his life.

           Marinette just sighed, “Did you kick the door open, Tony?” Disapproval clear in her voice.

“…No?”

“I can’t go now!” Marinette explained. “I have class. We weren’t supposed to leave until Friday, remember.”

           Tony waved her off, “Details. Spring Break starts now. Queenie, Mari; chop-chop! New York is waiting!”

           Bustier decided to step in. She may not always be the best teacher but she refused to allow a strange man, even if that man was Tony Stark, to take away any of her students. “Mr. Stark, can I ask what you want Marinette and Chloe for?”

           Thankfully, it was Pepper that answered as she closed back the classroom door, “They have been employed as interns for Stark Industries. They’ll be attending orientation during their spring break at Stark Tower.”

Max actually fell out of his seat. Because this couldn’t be happening. Stark industries rarely ever took high schoolers’ as interns. Tony Stark only chose the best of the best. How could Marinette land the job?

“Marinette’s my intern,” Tony grinned. “Blondie’s Pepper’s. Who else is gonna teach her how to rule the world.”

           A slow smile spread across Chloe’s face, “With an iron fist.”

           Tony pointed at her, “You scare me. Pepper get your intern!”

           The other students were amazed. Marinette was Tony Stark’s intern. Chloe somehow got Pepper Pott's attention. What had they missed? Why didn’t Marinette tell them? How?

“That’s what we’ll be doing this Saturday, Alya,” Chloe drawled. “In New York, hanging with the Avengers.” Causing Alya to flush with anger. “We couldn’t come to your pool party even if we wanted to. Which we don’t.”

“He found my sketch of a potential Iron man suit design,” Marinette explained, continuing the story Tony had told her parents. “He loved it and offered me the job a few weeks ago.”

“Weeks?” Nino asked. “And you didn’t tell us? Dudette, not cool.”

           Alix nodded, her arms crossed, “Yeah I thought we were friends!”

           Marinette and Chloe just looked at them like they were stupid.

           Alya put her hands on her hips, “Mr. Stark, why didn’t you ask Lila Rossi to be your intern? She helped you with your suit before. She’d be much better than Marinette!”

           The girl in question face turned bright red, “This can’t be happening.” Lila muttered.

           Tony looked honestly confused, “Lila? Who’s Lila? No one ever helped me with my suit except the kids I already got as interns.” He looked at Pepper. “Do I know a Lila Rossi?”

           Pepper shook her head, and turned fierce eyes towards Lila, “Miss Rossi, please refrain from lying about Tony Stark and or Stark Industries. Or we will sue you on the grounds of defamation.”

           Lila squeaked. Sue? She couldn’t be sued. Her mother would kill her if she got a lawsuit from Tony Stark.

           It was the rest of the class’s turn to look confused.

           However, before anyone could ask any follow-up questions, the classroom door burst opened again. Jagged Stone strutted in, followed by a very apologetic look Penny and happy Fang with, what looked to be, the arm of a leather jacket.

“Marinette!” Jagged yelled. “What’s this about you not coming on tour? I need my favorite stylist, love.

Marinette just sighed, “Did you kick the door open, Jagged?” Disapproval clear in her voice.

“…No?”

           The bluenette just shook her head, “I have plans this Spring break. I’m sorry.”

“Plans?” Jagged whined. “What could be better spending your Spring Break with a Rock Star? You can even bring your Blonde. Penny could use an assistant!” He paused, finally noticing it wasn’t just kids. “The bloody hell is Tony Stark doing here?”

           The two famous men eyed each other. The women they came with just looked so done with the world.

           Tony crossed his arms, “I got custody of Marinette for Spring Break; you snooze, you lose.”

“What?!” Jagged hissed. “She’s my designer.”

“She’s my intern!”

           Jagged glared, “I knew her first. By rights, I get custody.”

“I have a contract that says otherwise!” Tony taunted the Rock Star. “Her future is Stark Industries.”

“Her future is Rock and Roll!” Jagged yelled back.

           Both men glared at each other.

“Pepper!”

“Penny!”

           Both women groaned. How was this their lives? Why what was this their lives? What bus full of nuns and orphans did they rob in a past life?

           Penny smiled, “Marinette means the world to us. I’m her honorary Aunt Penny,” She held out her hand for Pepper. “Jagged’s her honorary Uncle. We’ve known her for years. Contracts were already signed?”

           Pepper nodded, “Tony doesn’t play when it comes to his interns. He won’t budge. Trust me; we’ve done this three other times. Marinette’s his kid now, all but legally.” For now, Pepper didn’t bother to add. Every now and then she found discovered a new set of adoption papers with one of the interns’ names on it; one time she found three sets for all three. Plus if Tony kept hinting any harder, May was going to gut him.  “She’ll be in New York for Spring break and all of the summer.”

“Summer!” Jagged whined. “He gets custody for summer too! No!” he shook his head. “Not happening. Call our lawyers, Penny. We’re going to family court!”

           Tony blew him a raspberry. Tony Stark blew Jagged Stone a raspberry. The class could only blink, trying to process what was happening.

           Marinette just wanted the earth to open up and swallow her.

“Marinette already designed your clothes for the tour,” Penny tried to placate. “They’re amazing. We can call and skype if we need any additional tips. We have a concert in New York over spring break so we can go and see.” They didn’t. But Penny would be damned if she could have one booked within the hour. Anything to stop jagged from mention family court again. “Most of our summer is free too, we can visit Marinette whenever we want.”

           Jagged huffed but didn’t say anything.

“Well not whenever you want,” Tony teased.

“Family court!” Jagged hissed.

“Tony!” Pepper said warningly. She was not going to let this going to court. No matter how lovely Marinette was. “Be nice.”

           Tony pouted.

           Marinette raised her hand, “You guys know that legally my parents still have custody of me, right?” There was no answer. “Right?!” Nothing.

           The bluenette just sighed.

           Alya took that moment to break in, “Jagged, don’t you want to say hi to Lila? She’s right here,” Alya pointed to her bestie. “Oh, can we listen to the songs you wrote for her? Can you tell us how she saved your cat from getting hit by a plane?”

           The look Lila gave Alya could’ve killed a thousand men.

           Jagged looked affronted, “Lila? Who’s Lila?” He looked at his fiancé. “Penny, do I know a Lila?”

“No!” Penny glared fiercely at Lila. “Jagged Stone has never written a song about an underage girl before. He has never owned a cat. What parents and airline would careless enough to allow a child to rush onto a runway for a pet? Refrain from spreading any further slander. Or we’ll hit you with a lawsuit so fast you’ll get whiplash.”

“I’m allergic to cats by the way,” Jagged told the class. “All fur actually. That’s why I got Fang here.” He pointed the crocodile who had made its way to Marinette for cuddles. “I’ve had him for twenty years. He’s the only pet I’ve had all that time.”

           Marinette rolled her eyes and took the crocodile in her lap.

“Twenty years?” Kim’s eyebrows furrowed. “Whoa, that’s long that we’ve been alive.”

           Nino glared at Lila, “Yeah it is.” He finally realized the girl was lying. Most of the class had in fact.

“Enough of this,” Tony waved. “Marinette, Chloe, time to go. Leave the dinosaur.”

           Bustier took a deep breath, “No one is taking Marinette or Chloe anywhere. Until I get a note from their parents verifying that is. I’m going to have to ask you all to leave.”

           Penny and Pepper nodded understandingly. Jagged and Tony just looked shocked.

“But I’m Tony Stark!”

“I’m Jagged Stone, love!”

           Bustier just rolled her eyes and shooed them out of her class. It took some handling, and eventually, the women had to drag the guys out. The teacher shut the door with a sigh of relief. She brushed off the imaginary dirt on her clothes. “Marinette,” She called. “If you could tell any future visitors to wait until after school to pick you up, with a note from your parents that would be most helpful.”

“Sorry,” Marinette blushed, a deep dark red.

           Bustier walked back to her desk before pausing. “Is that Crocodile still in my class, Marinette?”

“…Yes.”

“I think he’s here for the rest of the day,” Chloe shrugged. “Unless you want to invite Jagged back?”

           Bustier paused. No. Never again. “No. No. Fang can stay for the day.”

           When the lunch bell rang, Marinette found that it was easier to avoid her classmates' questions, as they were too busy yelling at Lila. It wasn’t long after that Ladybug had to take down Lila’s seventh akuma form.

           Marinette and Chloe left that night to New York. Somehow he managed to convince their parents that missing three days of school to study in the most advanced building in the world was a good thing.

           When they got to Stark Tower, they were given a quick tour. Then Pepper took Chloe to show her where she would be working. And Tony took Marinette the workshop where three other kids were already working.

           The oldest one glanced at her and snorted, “God he kidnapped another one.” He was the tallest in the room with dark brown hair and a smirk on his face.

           The other two snickered.

           Tony looked affronted, “Oh please; your parental units practically threw you at me.

The younger looking boy smirked, “Aunt May threatened to shank you next time you took me out of school early.” He had light brown hair and big brown eyes

           The genius pointed, “You tell Aunt Hottie to leave me alone.”

“HI, I’m Marinette!” She waved happily. “He keeps mentioning he has custody. And I’ve become moderately concerned.”

“And you should be,” The other girl in the room laughed. She was a pretty brown-skinned girl with black wild curls. “Name’s Riri.”

“Harley,” Said the first boy who spoke.

“Peter,” The other boy introduced.

           Marinette nodded and eyes them, “WarIron,” The pointed at Harley. “Iron Heart,” Then at Riri. “Spiderman, right?” She pointed at Peter.

           The three looked at Tony with questions in their eyes. Tony raised in hands in surrender, “Hey, I told her nothing.”

           Harley eyed the new girl, “You’re from Paris, right?” She nodded. “Ladybug, I’m guessing.”  Marinette blushed. “Welcome to the Young Avengers, I guess. Why’d he bring you in?”

           Marinette shrugged, “He said to there was a personal problem happening with the Avengers. He wanted my help.”

           The teen froze. Peter just shook his head, “You didn’t, Tony!”

Tony looked sheepish.

“What?” Marinette asked.

           Riri rolled her eyes, “That personal problem? It’s called ManHunt.”

“I’m sorry?” Marinette asked. She was going to have to hunt a man?

“It’s a game,” Harley explained. “Team Iron Man versus team Cap. One team hunts the other in a sort of hide and seek type of thing and tries to capture as many members as they can. Last time we played it, Team Cap crushed Team Iron man. It’s why Tony brought us all in. Revenge.”

           Said Man didn’t look one bit ashamed, “Rules were since Thor and the Big guy are gone I can bring in whoever I want to replace them.”

           Marinette tossed up her hands, “You brought me here to play a game?” Unbelievable.

“No,” Tony said. “I brought you here to take out the Winter Soldier.”

“Say what now?”

“Welcome to orientation,” Was All Tony said to her question.

           The kids trained together for a week; Chloe, a girl named MJ who was Pepper’s other interns, and a boy named Ned who was a tech intern, were brought in as well. When it turned out that Kagami was in New York City for a fencing tournament. Tony was happy to bring in the scary girl as well. (And somehow get her mother to agree to let her stay for Spring Break) He made practice stealth and learn hand signals. Tony drilled them on the Team Cap’s strengths and weaknesses. They reviewed videos of previous missions until they had everyone’s fighting style memorized. Tony went over body anatomy aka where the best place to hit them was. They memorized plans and scenarios to take out each specific member of Team Cap.

           The teens spent a lot of time in the lab creating gadgets to use against the Avengers. Each one straight out of a spy movie.

           As far as Tony was concerned this was War. And there would be no prisoners.

Team Cap consisted of Captain America, The Winter Soldier, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Scarlet Witch, The Falcon, Antman, along with several Shield employees which included Fury, Melinda May, and Coulson.

           Team Iron man consisted of Ironman, War Machine, Vision, Maria Hill, The Wasp, Quicksilver, Daisy Johnson, and a bunch of names Stark employees: I.E the interns. (Black Panther refused to participate. Though he and sister would watch from Wakanda.)

           Each team had a total of thirty players; no more, no less.

           The game would take place at the compound. Anything area within the compound legal territory was free to use. The living room would be home base and were all ‘out’ people had to stay. Until they were freed. Or until every member of the hiding team was captured and then it was Game Over. Everyone could communicate with their own team using special mics; normally only taken out for missions. However, those imprisoned in the home base couldn’t communicate with their team.

           On Saturday, just before sunset; the main superheroes of the avengers met up. Tony facing Steve. Rhodey glaring at Bucky. Vision versus Wanda. Hawkeye to QuickSilver. The wasp against Ant-Man and the Falcon.

           Steve smiled, “Tony.”

“You ready for war, Cap?” Tony asked.

“Training exercise,” Steve corrected his husband. “I trust your team is ready.”

           Tony smirked, “Oh you have no idea. Your little spies are already hiding in the shadows.”

“Like your team isn’t?”

           The alarm went off.

           Tony suited up, “You have 1000 seconds, Steve.” His helmet shut. “I’d get running.”

           Steve rolled his eyes. His team split up, running into the growing shadows.

           The game had started.

           Marinette waited, hiding in the shadows on the roof. Her ladybug costume was all back with little red polka dots; mostly easy to move around body armor. This wasn’t her actually Ladybug suit; Tikki, while willing to create a new suit design, decided it wasn’t a good idea to involve magic. So Marinette designed herself a new suit, and Tony help her trick it out.

Tony had pointed out the all-good hiding spots located in the Compound. She was the overly large landing pad. She forced herself to stay completely still. Even when she saw the Falcon take flight with WarIron right on his tail.

           The smallest of moments caught on the corner of her eye, the glint of metal. An arrow, she realized. She smiled. Hawkeye.

           She watched the man take stock of the room, looking in every possible place a person could hide. Unfortunately for him, Marinette had a bit of luck on her side.

“All clear on the roof, Cap,” Clint said into his mic. “I’ll keep a lookout from up here.” There was silence as he listened to Cap’s orders. “Okay. Will do. Stay invisible, got it. Over and out.”

           The second the conversation had ended, Marinette through a smoke bomb at his feet. Before Clint could even finish saying, “What the he-” Marinette was on the attack. Using the smoke to her advantage, she swung her yo-yo at Hawkeye’s feet. The String wrapped around his legs, tripping him. Five seconds later, Hawkeye was hogtied on the ground.

Marinette touched her mic, “Tweety Bird down. Bringing him to home base now!”

“Copy that, Ladybug,” Tony said. “Be careful.”

           Clint looked up at his assailant; expecting to see Tony or the Wasp, any avenger. Instead what he saw, was a teen girl with a scary blue-eyed glare on his face, “Who are you?”

           Marinette leaned down, “Your reckoning.” She hissed.

“What the fuck!” He said as he was thrown over the girl’s shoulder and carried to home base.

           When Marinette got to home base, she saw Harley putting a rather put out Falcon on the ground, Spiderman with five webbed up shield agents, Chloe had brought in two, Kagami and Riri brought in six. MJ and Ned both brought in one random shield agent. Marinette tossed Hawkeye on the couch.

           It had been twenty minutes, Clint knew by the clock on the wall. Twenty minutes since sunset and the game had started. And they had already lost just over half their team to a bunch of teenagers.

Clint couldn’t help but wonder what the hell had Tony unleashed on them.

“Foghorn Leghorn secure,” Harley said into his mic. “Tweety in his cage. The shadows are all accounted for.”

“I’m Tweety,” Clint told Sam.

           Sam paused. “…Am I Foghorn Leghorn?”

“Wasp and Vision on their way with The Blue Fairy,” Tony’s voice rang their ears. “They’ll play guard dog. QuickSilver is down; Miss Tuffit got him. Seven minions gone; Captain Hook and his jolly crew got them. Over and out.”

“Queen Bee, MJ, guard the Home base until they get here,” Harley ordered. “Guy in the chair, Mj, back on monitor duty. Fulfill mission Top hat ASAP.” They nodded and left the room.

           Top hat was important. The two were trying to hack into Team Cap’s communications, once they did; it was game over.

“The rest of you complete the assignment,” He told them.

           Then all split up again. Vision and Wasp arrived with Scarlet witch just as they were leaving. All three avengers gave the kids confused looks as they left.

           It would take Marinette another hour before she came across another member of Team Cap. And she didn’t so much as come across, as she did respond to Peter’s cry for help.

“Captain Sparkles!” Peter yelled in their earpiece. “Training yard. I’m trying to hold hi-No I won’t give you back your shield! Hurry! Over!”

“I’m around the corner,” Marinette hissed into the mic as she ran for the yard. When she arrived it was just in time to catch the shield that was flying at her face.

           She held the shield tightly in her hand, feeling like Wonder Woman, as she stared down Captain America.

           Steve looked at the young girl who had joined the fight, “My shield, miss?” He was aware that Spiderman had landed behind him.

           Marinette smiled sweet. Then she launched the shield at him with such brute force, he was lifted off his feet. “The Name’s Ladybug.”

Steve didn’t catch the shield in time and it bounced back to Spiderman.

           Captain America glared at the two teenagers.

           Then the fight was on.

           Spiderman hits Steve with his shield, distracting him. The shield falling to the ground. Ladybug barges Captain America backwards. Steve shoulders her to the floor. Marinette lands on the ground; pain flaring across her shoulder. Spiderman punches Steve who just lifts him and slams him against the ground. Spiderman raises a fist but Steve twists it. A web shoots out of his hand, the sound of a small explosion fills the training yard.

           Marinette takes the distraction to trip Captain America and jump up. As Steve falls to the ground, Marinette uses the electro-shooters that Riri made and shocks the dear life out of him. It wasn’t enough to bring him down but then Peter added in his own shocking web-shooters.

           Yet Steve still looked ready for another round of their fight. Marinette quickly picked up the shield and slammed it across his head. Steve Rogers fell forward in a slump.

           Spiderman webbed up with quick-drying cement.

           Both teens breathed heavily; struggling to catch their breath, tense from the fight. Marinette could even find it in herself to unclench the shield.

“Captain Sparkles is down, over,” Marinette said into the Mic.

“We’re bringing him in, over,” Spiderman added.

           There was a moment of silence.

“…What the fuck?” They heard War Machine say.

           When Marinette walked in with the shield in one hand and helping Spiderman carry Cap with the other, the avengers present quietly lost their shit. Kagami nodded, where she stood over Fury who looked more pissed than ever before in his entire life. Chloe stood over Coulson, who just looked put out. MJ and Ned looked overly pleased. Their mission had been a success but it only lasted long enough to get Fury and Coulson. After that, Team Cap was smart enough to ditch the communications, figuring something was up.

“Who’s left?” Spiderman asked in the Mic. “Over.”

“Stoneheart,” Kagami answered bitterly, referring to Melinda May, into the Mic so the team could hear them. “She took out Daisy and got away. Hill is after her now.”

“Jon Snow and Miss Tuffit,” Chloe said referring to the Winter Soldier and Black Widow. “Iron Man and WarIron are after Small fry. War Machine has eyes on Miss Tuffet.”

“I’m closing in on Miss Tuffit, over.” War Machine said.

           Marinette looked at her team, pressing on her mic, “Guy in Chair, Mj, I want you on Stoneheart’s tail. Spiderman go be back up for the War Machine. Iron Heart, meet me on the Location 12. Over.”

“What are you going to do, over?” Harley asked.

           Marinette clenched the shield in her hands, “I’m going to go tell Jon Snow that Winter Is Over. Queen and Dragon with me. Over.”

           The battle with the Winter Soldier was epic. The showdown happened in the gym. It turned out they weren’t hunting for the Winter Soldier, the Winter soldier was hunting for them. The second they walked into the gym, the doors closed behind them.

           Bucky jumped down from the rafters. He stared at the girls. He had seen them fight. None of them fought with any ounce mercy but plenty of skill. But they were clearly just kids. Just Dames in over their heads. He’d go easy on them. “Shall we, Ladies?”

           Ladybug, Queen Bee, Iron Heart, and Dragon shared a look before giggling.

           The Winter Soldier only just barely stood a chance.

           The girls laid Bucky gently on the floor on home base. He grunted and glared at them.

           A few minutes later, Tony and Rhodey walked in with the Black Widow. The last of Team Cap.

           Tony smirked, “Game over.”

           Rhodey shook his head, “Record time; two hours and four-two minutes. Beats the last one by about seven hours and sixteen minutes.”

           Then they debriefed. Video of the fights and footage was seemed was shown so everyone could see where they could improve. The image of tiny Ladybug clocking Captain America in their head with his own shield was rewinded and watched seven times.

           Tony fell over laughing, “I’m putting on Youtube!”

“I will divorce you!” Steve snapped but couldn’t fight the smile on his face.

           Once The random agents of shield and Stark industries left, Steve glared at Tony. His team had gotten demolished. In record time. “You brought in outside heroes, that’s not fair.”

“No,” Tony laughed. “I brought employees of Stark Industries as agreed upon. Everyone meet WarIron,” Harley lowered his helmet. “Iron Heart,” Riri lowered his, “You know Spiderman already,” Peter took of his mask and waved. “MJ, and Ned” Both teens nodded. “Ladybug,” Marinette took off her mask. “Queen Bee,” Chloe glared as she removed hers. “Dragon!” Kagami took off her black mask. “The interns. Otherwise known as the Young Avengers.”

“Oh, fuck you too Stark,” Clint complained. “Did you see what they did to poor Bucky. He’s the deadliest assassin in history, and I felt they went a little rough.”

           Bucky nodded with a wince, “Can I have my arm back.”

           Steve looked at the bluenette still holding his shield, with a charming smile.

Kagami glared. She held the metal arm like trophy. “Spoils of War.”

           Marinette giggled.

           Being a intern was going to be fun.    

[reynie-muldoons]

'The Art of Conveyance and Round-Trippery' Liveblog!

Sorry this is a few days late!! I moved across the country this weekend, we drove like 13 hours within 2 days and we did a lot of heavy lifting. I'm exhausted, but the boxes are slowly emptying and I've been wanting to watch this episode so gd bad, so LESGO

Over halfway through the season!!!! That's absolutely surreal

1:11 oooh they're getting their royal fitting

1:22 LMAOO WTF 😂😂 Princess Diaries vibes

1:42 ✨CONFIDENCE✨

1:52 Alfonse is a perfect name for that guy HAHA

2:05 Nathaniel, my guy, you've made some points

2:11 "do you feel your power?" POWER RANGERS, GO

2:24 no no hesitation just prolly thinkin bout how he was caught cheatin

2:39 "can you not allow yourselves luxury?" okay fr I feel that I get Nice Things Guilt(tm) too easily

2:52 dayummmm let's talk about Sticky being a hat stall between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, mans is brave as fuck under extreme pressure and loyal to the point of putting himself on the line

3:15 bro Sticky getting some recognition. Love to see it, he deserves it

3:19 "is that a coincidence? Or written in the stars?" IS DR. CURTAIN CATCHING ON THAT THEY KNEW EACH OTHER BEFORE OR LIKEEEE

3:49 WHAT WORD AROUND CAMPUS 😭😭😭 MY BOYS ARE NOT A MISTAKE HOW DARE YOU

4:09 why doess the action of Dr. Curtain putting the sash on them seem so nefarious

4:36 I dont really understand the whole pastel yellow, blue, and pink palette of the school but the boys both look pretty okay in their vest-sash getup

4:42 THE OPENINGGGGG. This shit slaps.

5:41 Kate and Constance look so fucking cute in that shot, dont ask me why but hnnggggg

5:54 sash rope 😂😭 kate, honey, that's a reach

6:09 it might feel buttery, but, my guy, it also looks buttery. It's literally the color of butter. Get yourself some crisco

6:24 I find it kinda interesting that they made up new riddles for the show, I'm almost positive that that one wasn't in the book. Correct me if I'm wrong though

7:03 "I'm not gonna apologize for knowing things" the sass. the ✨confidence✨. living for it

7:03 If they build on that it sets Sticky up really nicely for the arc in the second book where he starts to show off a little

7:15 tiny Constance who is constantly dressed in pink with cute little braids is the perfect medium for the most morbid comments 😂😂

7:55 Martina's hot in her uniform. Can't prove me wrong.

8:15 why does that make me sad 🥺 eat with your friendssss. iirc they only talked about eating at the Messenger table in the books

8:26 dipshits forgot their lunches. Seems Constance is holding the communal braincell atm

8:50 anyone have Guiness on speed dial? Reynie and Sticky have a submission for them

9:25 oh hello this was alluded to in the preview!!! Morse code is compromised, rip

10:05 so are Jackson and Jillson stuck with night guard duty all the time?? They've been outside at night a lot

10:18 ahhhhhh the little blinkie light, stopppp

10:25 MILLIGANNNNN!!!

10:25 so is this the point where he starts staying on the island with them????

10:39 so are they just like "fuck it we'll do it right before sundown" ???? Like Jackson and Jillson are still gonna be on the lookout, they aren't gonna chill just because it's not fully dark

10:50 did the kids.....just not tell them that Mr. Bloom was on the island 😂 nice oversight guys

11:05 MADGE TIME MADGE TIME

11:05 remind me to tell you guys a story about Madge, I may or may not have done something irl a few years ago that would make y'all proud 😂😂😂

11:16 idk why but it makes me so happy that they kept Madge as a peregrine falcon

11:37 Rhonda, my love, you have my heart in your hands

11:46 roll credits

12:05 THE HEAD SHAKE HAHAHAH

12:06 Awww man, I was so excited for Milligan to be on the island .-. He must have been scoping out the inlet

12:07 "they're quite regal" A. I read the subtitles as "legal" the first time and that's somehow really in character for him, and B. IS MILLIGAN GOING TO NAME HER???!? HER MAJESTY???? PLEASE I WOULD LOVE THAT SO MUCH

12:15 his grimace KILLS ME

12:17 the hard cut from Nicholas in a brown setting and brown suit to Nathaniel in a blue setting and blue suit was lowkey striking

12:36 are they looking up Morse code 😳 can you imagine if they wrote down the message and are now decoding it

12:41 omfg all that for a HAT 🙃 I feel stupid

12:51 two things: 1. Those walls are atrocious, and 2. Yeah, talk about Morse code in a louder voice Connie girl, you're just in a public hallway

13:03 I'm sorry but those orange pillar things are not the vibe

13:03 the golden gate bridge called, they want their arches back

13:10 please let Kate climb the tower before the end of season 1. please.

13:22 y'all are about to be flying something else 😎

13:33 cleansing breaths

13:47 OH HELLO MESSENGER DUTY ALREADY??

14:06 what the heck is that teal pole for 😭😭

14:12 blindfold timeeee

I'm so sorry but I'm exhausted, it's 11:30 pm on Sunday night right now, I'll finish this episode tomorrow morning after I get some sleepies

~~

Good morningggg lesgetatit

14:50 "vomit of metal" ashhdjdjd

15:16 a wild Martina appears!

15:36 and if you folks look to your left, you'll see a wild Constance being the voice of reason once again

15:57 "lose the bucket" "I'm not gonna do that" HELL YEAH KATE

16:07 I get not having the bucket on the court lolol, I thought Martina was telling Kate to lose the bucket in general. Like, yeah, good luck convincing her to so that

16:35 show!Kate is much angrier than book!Kate and I'm still deciding how I feel about that. The Kate we've known from the books is a sunshine baby with looots of repressed trauma.

17:03 ......what is that. why is that.

17:11 WAIT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE REYNIE AHEHDJDJD

17:15 HI MADGE

17:41 the grand swell in the music makes me think it's going to go comically wrong

17:51 she's majestic because she's a queen 🥺

18:03 LMAO CALLED IT

18:14 Rhonda and Number Two getting at each other is such a sisterly thing to do 😂😂😂

18:37 ohhhhh? Someone's approaching? Miss Perumal perhaps????

18:45 YEAHHHHH BABY

18:50 PROTECTIVE MOM COMIN IN HOT!!!

19:22 THEYRE SO PRECIOUS 😭😭😭😭 I feel like I've been subconsciously starved for her and Mr. Benedict's interactions

19:36 died at that line in the one trailer

20:00 so Miss Perumal pulled a Sherlock Holmes. Love that for her

20:20 Cheri Tupintown??? Of all the aliases they could pick, Cheri Tupintown???

20:33 "Power in Truth Inc" that HAS to be something Rhonda came up with

21:01 you can literally watch Mr. Benedict realize that this is a woman not to be fucked with and he is CORRECT

21:23 "he's fine. Perfectly fine." At this, Mr. Benedict's pants caught aflame.

21:52 something about Constance sitting in on practice!!! It scratches an itch!!!!

22:19 "incorporate the helix. Live in the helix." Lord Helix is pleased with this offering.

22:26 so what I'm hearing is Kate is going to blow up on Constance for messing with the bucket

23:13 unrelated but Jillson'a shoes are cute

23:29 why does this room give off Johnny Depp's willy wonka vibes

24:13 that looks like a chair from a doctor's office waiting room 😭

25:29 they do be egg heads tho

26:02 baby girl, I have no idea why you're crying at weird art but let me dry your tears 🥺🥺

26:50 SHE FOUND ITTTT

27:27 okay Indiana Jones, go off

27:46 why did that kinda sound like Miss Perumal

28:43 the return of everyone's favorite, "enjoyable"

29:05 not that I'm not loving the ice breaker questions and the one-sided conversation, but I'm not loving it

29:22 oh so we're getting right into it aren't we

29:54 his eyes being open again makes this infinitely creepier

30:36 "where's your proof?" Miss Perumal doesnt fuck around!!!

31:29 you're telling me Constance has been there all day?? And Kate went to find her???? 🥺

31:58 oh so we're getting right to it then?? Kate addressing her independence and trust issues arc????

33:29 NEWS!!!!

33:49 CONSTANCE RIDING PIGGYBACK!!!!!!

34:04 okay, so they opened the murder hole, what are they gonna do now

34:59 Italian? 🤨 m'sir that is so fancy

34:59 fun story I learned Italian diction in college, so I know a little bit

35:16 "take your time" the whisperer says, immediately repeating the prompt to get the answer sooner

35:31 theeeeere it is

35:46 SOMETHING ABOUT THE WHISPERER SAYING "YOU ARE HOME" 😭😭😭 the show really played up the cult shit!!

36:02 Kate being protective of Constance 🥺

36:20 ohhh shit is it time for Connie girl to have double Reynie? Double Sticky?

36:36 STICKY

36:52 "what kind of nonsense?" HAVE THEY NOT ASKED THAT BEFORE THIS?????

37:14 "and your tiny brain can somehow pick it up!!" KATE STOP 😂😂����

37:16 "I knew you had to be special in some way." WE DONT HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL OF THAT

37:51 she's right, this is disregard for their safety. The show made Mr. Benedict and his team a lot more back-alley and dishonest, and Miss Perumal has every reason to be pissed

38:30 oh good they finally remembered he has narcolepsy

39:38 and the best mom award goes to:

40:38 I was gonna say that this hallway is how I imagined the KEEP in riddle of ages but then I remembered that (spoilers) the Institute is the KEEP

40:46 oh, hello propoganda

41:10 that's the other person Rhonda couldn't contact, along with Mr. Bloom. This has to be the brainsweeping process

41:22 yeppppp

41:44 this dark doctor's office theme gives me horror movie vibes

42:22 ohhhh, so that's how they replaced that scene where the four of them jump in a crate to hide and Sticky drops his glasses in the open

42:47 and so we've come to the part of the story where Sticky and Reynie become infinitely more conflicted

42:47 and since we've reached that point..... can we have the white knight scene? Pretty please? Please Disney I'm begging you-

43:12 so Reynie just figured that out without Constance? :/

44:03 love the manipulation

44:31 I'm sorry, the farm?

44:35 farm and forest????

45:16 "the Emergency has served its purpose" 😳 well okay then murder man

45:39 "one thought, one purpose" the hive mind rises once more

45:48 LOVE THE MANIPULATION

46:07 "what have you done to earn anyone's trust?" VALID

46:26 "please do!" WHY AM I EMOTIONAL

47:06 "we still have the falcon" that you do 😂

47:19 AYYY HERE WE GO!!! Time for Milligan to stay on the island??

47:49 ohhhh Constance, casual telepath strikes again

48:16 "stop it, Kate!" OOOOHHHHH

48:53 that line ("it would be nice to be unburdened") would be funny as shit if not for the fact that Constance is a telepath unbeknownst to herself and can both subconsciously perceive people's thoughts and hear the subliminal messages

49:20 HI MRS. PERUMAL!!!

49:25 wow, she's really going through with it 😳 not that I doubted her, but still, that's dedication

49:39 OH SHIT

50:17 oh, so he's an asshole to SQ too. Got it. Torches and pitchforks? Ready to kick his ass?

50:40 "for the moment, anyway" FUCKIN WHAT

This episode was really good!!! They covered a LOT. I hope Miss Perumal comes back to the group and talks about her findings, I hope Milligan goes to get the kids and they tell him no, and I hope they get that classic 4-person Society brainstorming and binding time that hits that sweet spot

[bansheeoftheforest]

Me like a week ago: Oh! Syndicate is being sold here for just 15 dollars! I should buy it because it looks neat and my friend reccomended it :3

My siblings: Ą̸̯͉͍̻̻̿̂̂̍̏̓̑ś̷̹͕̲̰͙̖̮͓͝s̶̥͉̽͆̎̔̔͐̈́̚a̶͎̺̹̭͙̞͆s̴̛̩̝͙͉̱̭̋̓̿͝s̶͍̠̲̙̙̓͑̍͘̕̕i̶͕̻͕̤͓͍̺͎̐̀͐̏̇̐͆̈́n̴̻̹̯̲̻̈́̓ş̸̯̜̥̻͎͎͊̉͗͑͜ ̶̝̮̇̄Ç̴̩̺͚̺̰͆̃̂̆͋͝͝͝͝ṟ̵̛͇̯͉̼͍̳͓́̓̎͋͒͂̾ẹ̶̗̏͛̃ę̸̡͈̥̟͎̀̃́͑́͂͗̇̏̓d̴̨̲̥̫͌̾̈́̊̍͘

Anyway we now own 3 assassins creed games-

-

Tbh this entire time I've been imagining that Henry's brothers forced him to join! Like he was just walking home from college for the week (as he usually stays in his dorm), and when he gets in the house there's alot of. Rather expensive looking items. And are those guns? Is that drugs?! And then while hes noticing all this stuff (and maybe even considering this is the wrong house) he feels a gun to his head and there's his brothers, saying that he has to join them

Oh gosh if the Jekyll brothers have all been in this since Henry was in college. That's like. Alot of his life in fear and in the gang

I imagine specifically the Jekyll brothers are all pretty low on money because they sorta just, ran away and Henry's in college. So while Henry's away Kent and Rapheal end up joining a gang, and ending up pretty high ranked decently fast, like a few months? The two are a very good team. They also believe fully on the templars cause, whatever that is, I wasn't paying much attention

Also! Here's the database entry on them from the game that I'm tired of having to pull up every time XD

"Born to a long family line of seafarers, the Jekyll brothers, Kent and Raphael, follow in their forefathers' footsteps. All sorts of illegal trade are thus welcomed eithin the London ports, right under the government's nose. All imports go through the Jekyll brothers, and quickly find a home on the black market."

Henry is the youngest brother but I dont know by how much. I've decided that since quests have fun lil names that he's called "The Weeping Templar" because it sounds cool :3c

-

Ahhh I'm still working on those drawings of Jekyll in his mask, it's rather hard to find references for all these outfits you know. But here's a lil sneak peak

I couldn't decide on an outfit so I decided on 🌟every outfit🌟. Henry sorta just throws em on. Not caring what rank or person is supposed to wear what, as he's just trying to get his templar outfit off as soon as possible

Also. All the gang clothes have the opposite problem of Jacob and Evie. All the guys look like they just stumbled half drunk out of bed, and all the gals I Want To Own All The Clothes Of Immediately

Also also. I just checked the time on the canvas to see how long I've been working on it and ack-. I'm pretty sure I must have left ibisPaintX open or something because no way its actually been 18 hours- I'm not even shading these

-

My sister started playing syndicate so Soon. We'll know what Kent is truly supposed to look like. As in game I consider more canon than the database

I'm also having fun thinking it's both. Like after that database picture was made he grew a beard

That's exactly what happened to me and I am so glad you are falling into the pit of AC despair that I fell into as well. You better play Origins sometime, that game is absolutely fucking amazing <3

--

Man... I have such a hard time making up my mind bc at one point, I love the thought of Raphael and Kent falling into bad crowds and forcing Henry down with them (maybe guilt-tripping him by saying that they are all he has bc they are family and shit? And it's thanks to them he managed to get out of their abusive household?) but I also love the thought of like... Raphael and Kent doing it so they can get money so they can actually support Henry through college. And the moment Henry is out of college and maybe learns the truth of how his brothers even got that money they force him to join, or he feels obligated to join because his brothers helped and supported him. I also imagined Henry working at the docks while writing the FK au bc I was projecting so! Man, I wonder how Robert would react if he found out about Henry's family. Or Rachel, for that matter. Like, at one point, she technically can't judge bc of Lucy and the fact that she herself started out as a pick-pocket but at the same time... The Blighters and Templars are so much worse... <3

Oooohohohh now I really want to imagine how the questline for Henry would be. Since he is going to later join the rooks, he wouldn't get murdered with his brothers... Would it be when Greenie tells the Lodgers that there This One Templar that is very much standing out bc they wear a mask that the Twins track him down, or would it be when they try to murder his brothers and find them already dead, their corpses rotting in their offices/somewhere else hidden? Or would it be when they have killed Henry's brothers, realize that they missed the third brother and track him down, only to end up on Dr. Henry Jekyll's doorstep? Bruh, I wish I could mod Syndicate, I would actually have wanted to make this into a playable questline. How would the questline continue to go? Would the twins trust him immediately? Or would Henry be the one to track them down by sending them his templar pendant and the mask, telling them to meet him at X place by Y time like Roth did? sjdfhhAJWHD. Man. I want to know so much more about this sdfsdf

--

Man, are we having different dilemmas rn. I get so much gender envy from the guys' clothes but the outfits of the gals make me think of a mix between willy wonka (not the original one) and flappers. Don't ask why. I just really want a dress shirt that fits and some nice suspenders <3

BUT WANYWAYS. You are so mean. Now I really want to see the finished art aND. I AM SO CURIOUS NOW. SO MANY PIXELS HIDE TEH SECRETS. AHHHH. How and why are you so mean to me jst giving me sneak peaks sdfjhsdjf >:( XD

Your sister better enjoy this game <3 anyways I am very curious to see what the truth is now lol. That's going to be fun for sure XD

[simpingforcadbury]

Chocolate and Floss of the Non-Fairy Variety

6b. Friendship (1965)

Summary: Two short moments in 1965 shared between Willy Wonka and Kristie Masseter. Takes place between Chapter 6 and 7 of Chocolate and Floss of the Non-Fairy Variety.

1

She must have been properly frazzled to be sleeping in the break room, Willy thought to himself as he felt a giggle rise up his throat. It was so strange to see Kristie so relaxed and uncaring; so free.

Her own room was barely a five minute walk away, but of all the places, she chose to sleep in the room with a loudly humming fridge and ill cushioned sofa. Or maybe ‘chose’ wasn’t the right word for the occasion; ‘shut down on the way there’, was more fitting. His lopsided smile faded into a look of concern and guilt, his brows knitting together. Maybe it wasn’t a leap to say that she was quite burnt out and needed a break; working day in and day out was exhausting business. He made a mental note to talk to her about it when she was awake, although he knew she would find it hard to swallow her pride and admit that she was indeed overworked.

His snoring subject who, for all purposes remained oblivious to the passing shadow over her face as he moved to sit continued to dream in blissful contentment.

Willy wasn’t quite sure what would be proper for him to do in this situation. She couldn’t possibly be comfortable twisted and bent like that to fit on that sofa and, he wouldn’t be a very good employer if he didn’t go and make the effort to make sure his workers were well looked after. He floundered for a solution, flip flopping around possible fixes. Willy briefly contemplated waking her up, but he didn’t want to disturb her. Carrying her to her room was out of the question and altogether untoward. It didn’t feel quite right to just leave her there as she was either. Maybe it was for the best to just let her be.

She shivered slightly in her sleep.

Perhaps... he could lend his jacket, that was the least he could do, if anything. Checking the contents of his pockets to make sure there was nothing of great importance inside, he removed his beloved plum tailcoat, taking care not to hit any of the burnished buttons on the glass coffee table between them. Experimentally, he held his breath as he raised it over her form, slowly lowering it down onto her so she wouldn’t wake from the sudden new pressure.

Taking care of someone else was very much a foreign aspect of Willy’s daily life and the action came to him as more hesitatingly awkward than tender. He had never really had a chance to learn how to love a person, nor did he care to. But now he found himself floundering, as though he was set leagues behind by his lack of experience which frustrated him. It was time for some self improvement.

~~~~~

2

“What is it that you like so much about your work, about all this?” Willy gestured to the general direction of his mouth. “It’s not exactly...” he fished around for the right word. “The prettiest sight in the world to be waking up to.”

Kristie shot up from her lazy sprawl across the bench, retracting her half raised finger from tinkering some half finished contraption Willy had left forgotten. “Hey! Stop judging me. You seem to be awfully concerned about what you put in it. Didn’t your father teach you anything?”

“Of course he did! And then some.” He scoffed, half answering while he preoccupied himself weighing up an assortment of ingredients. “I could never do it though, even if I went back and had the choice to, I was born to be different.”

“Naturally.” A cheeky drawl came to comment.

“So what made you do it?”

“Would you believe me if I said spite?”

A half smile played on his lips, “I believe I’m familiar. Pray tell.”

There was a moment where she considered how much she would tell him. The real reason was still very much a sensitive point. But what was the point of hiding it when he had shown his own dearest creations. “The short story is that I didn’t really think much of it until I started learning more about it and eventually grew to choose it as a career. But the truth is, I just couldn’t accept being seen as less than, for something that I couldn’t control. You should have seen the disappointment on my grandpa’s face when I was born a girl. And I resolved myself to besting the boys to prove that I could do just as well as they could, if not better. Somewhere along the way, the opportunity presented itself and I fell in love with the work. I guess I’m born different too.” A distant smile graced her as she watched him add the new ingredients to one of the large steaming vats.

“But now, looking back, I wonder if I was just trying to prove my own worth to myself. So that I could justify that I wasn’t a liability to my family by being a daughter. My parents always loved me, but I think it was just my mentality that made me so driven.”

“And now you’re a workaholic.”

“Don’t say that as though you aren’t guilty of it either, Wonka!”

She wasn’t even sure if he was intent on continuing their little conversation until she heard a considering hum. “I guess we’re not that different after all then. My father would’ve loved for me to take the family business, but I had other plans. I’m just glad he supported me despite his disapproval. I knew though, that deep down past his stern face that he loved me more than anything.”

“We’re both lucky that way, having loving parents.”

“I know.” He caught her eyes then with a serious glance that demanded attention. “And Kristie? Anyone who thinks less of you because of who you must live a sad colourblind life.”

“Colourblind? That’s a new one. I really appreciate that, Willy.”

“Don’t you think it’s colourless to lead a life confined by what can’t be rather than what can be? They’re depriving themselves of the opportunity to see a world that’s better for the sake of being better when they’re too preoccupied by traditions and beliefs.”

“I see your point. It’s just hard when the rest of the world won’t acknowledge it.”

“I find the world will acknowledge anything if it’s loud enough. If you believe in yourself enough and walk the walk, people will buy it. But you’re already doing it, even if you don’t know you are.”

“Is that why you always dress so brightly?”

“That’s just my impeccable taste in fashion.” Willy grinned boyishly as though their conversation had always been light.

Back to masterlist

[wonkasmissstarshine]

The Chocolate Prince and The Lovely Maiden {Willy Wonka x Rose Bucket AU}

Chapter 7

Step-mother’s Punishments

Tagging: @holdmeicant @frozenhuntress67 @pastelmoonwitche @ariwonka2004​ 

Rose had nearly picked the cherry tree clean today, but she knew when she returned tomorrow, that fresh cherries would be ready to pick. She always used the cherries she picked to put in a pie. Charlie always looked forward to Rose’s cherry pies. Even Avonmora seemed to like them (well, she never complained when Rose made them).

By the time she had stopped picking cherries, Rose noticed that the sun was starting to set. She panicked and quickly ran home. She didn’t mean to lose track of time. Oh dear, she just hoped that Charlie wasn’t being punished for her mistakes. 

Honkers was just returning from a refreshing swim in the nearby lake. “This is the best lake in all of the forest!” He wasn’t aware that the sun had nearly set and Rose was way past her curfew, so he panicked when she had picked him up suddenly. He honked, flapped his wings, and a few of his feathers fell to the ground. “Rose! Are you nuts!?”

“It’s sundown, Honkers”

Honkers did a double take when he saw the sunset. “Good golly, how long was I in that lake?”

“Do you think Avonmora punished Charlie because of me?” Rose cringed, not even wanting to think of what she might have done to him.

“You know the worst she ever gives Charlie are extra chores, and makes him skip a meal. Besides, she hates you more” Honkers said it without thinking, but it still hurt Rose to hear it. Honkers winced when he realized what he had said. “Sorry, Rose”

Rose gave him a weak smile. “It’s okay, Honkers. You’re just speaking the truth”

The sunset was gone and the sky had gone completely dark, with the exception of the illuminating light of the moon and the stars, by the time Rose had gone home. Rose had entered the cottage. She could see the flickering light of the fireplace, and the silhouette of Avonmora’s shadow on the wall.

Rose put Honkers down on the floor. “Go check on Charlie” She whispered to him. Honkers looked up at Rose, feeling worried and scared for her, before waddling his way down to the basement.

Her hands nervously shaked as Rose approached Avonmora. The dark-haired woman sipped on a glass of wine. “You’re late” She didn’t even look at Rose as she spoke.

“Yes, I know, mother--” Rose shrieked suddenly when Avonmora’s hand came flying and slapped her across the face. 

“I am not your mother!” Avonmora spat. She stood up and towered over Rose from where she fell onto the floor. “It’s lucky that you finished all your chores otherwise Charlie’s punishment could’ve been so much worse!”

“What did you do to him?”

“I never touched him, if that’s what you’re so afraid of. I’ve decided that he will stay home with you tomorrow and help with chores, and he has to miss breakfast tomorrow”

“And me?”

Avonmora reached out and touched Rose’s red cheek. With the tip of her finger, she scooped up a drop of blood that had oozed out of the cut that was on her cheek. One of Avonmora’s nails had cut her. Avonmora looked at the blood with a dark look in her eye and her lips parted as she rubbed the crimson liquid between her fingers. 

“You drew blood” Avonmora’s voice was almost seductive. “I suppose that is punishment enough for tonight. Go down to the basement and join your brother. Do not come out for the rest of the night”

“Yes, Avonmora” Rose got up and made her way to the basement.

She didn’t even see the way that Avonmora licked her blood clean off her fingers. The way that Avonmora’s eyes rolled back in euphoria as she did so.

When Rose got downstairs, she saw that Honkers was already fast asleep in his nest. Charlie was laying in bed, facing the wall, but Rose knew he wasn’t asleep yet. He never fell asleep without her.

“Charlie,” Rose spoke softly. She sat on the end of the bed near his feet. Charlie sat up to look at her. “I’m sorry I’m making you miss a meal tomorrow”

“It’s not your fault, Rosie” Charlie told her. He moved so that he was sitting beside her. “She hurt you” He had noticed that cut on her face.

“I’ll be fine. It only stings a little bit” Rose said.

Charlie touched her scarred cheek. The blood smudge was now dry. “But you’re bleeding, Rosie” His eyes began to sting, indicating he was ready to cry. He didn’t like crying in front of Rose. He liked being that strong little brother for her. “Why does she have to hurt you like that?”

Rose sighed sadly and brought Charlie into a hug. Charlie held onto her like he was being pulled away from her and didn’t want to let go. Rose let Charlie cry into her shoulder. She closed her eyes, pet his hair and rocked him back and forth. She shushed him softly and cooed to him, “I promise, Charlie. One day, we will get out of here. We will finally be free from her. Even if we have to...” She trailed off.

“Even if we have to what?” Charlie asked.

“Nothing, Charlie. Try to get some sleep, okay? You have to help me with laundry tomorrow” Rose said. 

Charlie nodded and let his eyes close. He quickly fell into a slumber. Rose laid him down on the bed and made sure the blankets were covering him. She kissed him on the forehead before making her way to her own bed. 

Rose couldn’t believe that she was even contemplating killing her own step-mother. She wasn’t the kind of person to even harm a fly. Would she really be able to kill Avonmora? And what would Charlie think? Would he be ashamed of her, or grateful that they would at least be free from Avonmora?

The following day, Rose and Charlie worked hard on  their chores together. It went by a whole lot faster when it was the two of them. Avonmora seemed pleased with their work, for she had not said a word to them all day. Sometime in the day, Avonmora announced that she was leaving and would not be back until the following evening.

It was very rarely that Avonmora ever made trips like that, but Rose and Charlie were pleased when she did. It was afternoon when Rose and Charlie decided it was time to do laundry. They always did it in the river by the sisters three’s cherry tree.

“Do you think maybe we could go for a swim after?” Charlie asked. He held the basket of laundry as he and Rose stepped out the door. Honkers was just behind them. “I haven’t been swimming in a long time”

“Sure, after we’ve finished with laundry” Rose answered with a smile. “We’ve got all night! I’ve missed moonlight swims”

Honkers honked in approval. “I can show you two this move I call the Goose Paddle”

Charlie grinned in amusement. “Can’t wait, Honkers” It was as if he felt eyes watching them. He looked over and noticed a dark blonde man, around Rose’s age, if not a little older, watching them intensely. He also held a flower in his hand. A peony to be exact. “Rosie, do you know who that man is?”

Rose looked to where Charlie was pointing. She groaned in annoyance when she saw Harry. “Forget about him, Charlie. Let’s just go to the lake and get started on laundry”

Rose gently pushed him forward. But at the same time they started to move, Harry started moving towards them. He stepped in front of Charlie. “It’s a lovely afternoon, isn’t it, Rose?” He said, flashing a flirty grin at Rose. One that would make any girl swoon, but not this particular girl. “But, not quite as lovely as you”

Rose gave a polite grin. “Thank you, Harry” She felt her skirt rustle, indicating that Honkers was trying to remain hidden from Harry’s view. “Well, we’ve got laundry to do. We should be off”

Rose tried pushing Charlie along but that was hard to do when Harry put his hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Who’s this dashing young man?”

“My name is Charlie, sir” Charlie introduced himself. 

“Charlie, nice to meet you. I’m Harry” The man held out his hand for the boy to shake. Charlie did. “Quite the grip you’ve got there! Ever think about becoming a hunter?”

“No. I want to explore the world. Go sailing on ships”

Harry nodded. “That quite an ambition for a young man such as yourself. Still, wouldn’t hurt to learn how to hunt. I’ll teach you sometime”

“Well, Harry, this was a nice chat, but Charlie and I have so much laundry to do” Rose tried.

“I could come with you, be an extra set of hands” Harry suggested hopefully.

“No, that’s fine” Rose said, her polite smile now a gritted one. “Thank you”

“Oh, well before you go, I have this for you” Harry presented the peony to Rose. “Remember my vow?”

Rose accepted the peony. “How could I forget? Still, peonies are lovely but not my favorite flower”

“Then I shall be back tomorrow with another” Harry said. He leaned took Rose’s hand and kissed it. “Until tomorrow, my lady” Then, he looked down at Charlie and ruffled his hair. “Remember what I said, Charlie? I promise to teach you everything I know about hunting”

And with that, Harry left, leaving behind an annoyed Rose and a confused Charlie. The boy looked up at his sister. “Who was that, Rosie?”

“I’ll tell you who that was!” Honkers wailed, coming out of hiding from Rose’s skirt. “He’s what my mother would call a featherplucker!”

“Honkers!” Rose gasped. She covered Charlie’s ears, causing him to grin and look up at her. “Don’t use such foul language in front of Charlie”

“Hey, was that a goose joke?” Honkers accused.

“If it was, I would have said fowl and not foul”

“Still sounds the same to me”

“Anyways, let’s head to the lake and get some laundry done. Then that means more time for swimming”

The three of them made their way to the lake, unaware that they were being followed. And Rose was completely unaware of the course that fate would set for her that very night. Unaware that she was to meet the man she would fall madly in love with.

[cagestark]

Better Late Than Never//1

And Merry Christmas to YOU

Aka I started another project that I will take twenty years to finish. But @starkerflowers prompts were just too fucking good.

About: With interest in his work waning, famous writer Tony Stark (under the pseudonym AE Potts) changes his entire public relations platform, which includes hosting a meet-and-greet contest where one lucky fan will get to spend the day with him. That one lucky fan is Peter Parker. Peter is 21. Will contain nff, alcoholism, suicide attempts, character death (not major), drug mentions, anxiety, anxiety attacks. 

Read here on AO3. 

-

Tony is awakened from a drunken, dreamless sleep by a tub of envelopes and small packages being upended over his head. He jerks upright with a shout from where he was slumped over his writing desk, upending the (empty) bottle of whiskey that had lulled him to sleep. Pepper stands over him, impeccable in every way he is not.

“Jesus Christ,” he says, pushing envelopes off of where they have pooled on his lap. “You could have taken my eye out, Peppercorn. What are you trying to do, perform Lingchi on me? What is all this?”

“Fan mail,” she says. Her voice is stern and unsympathetic. The first time she’d found him passed out drunk over his desk, she had panicked and nearly called for an ambulance. The next handful of times she had just covered him with a blanket and regarded him with sad eyes the next morning when she brought him coffee. But those were ten years ago. Not to mention, all in her first few weeks on the job— “Social media is revolting. You never answer fan mail, you never do Q&A’s, you haven’t done an interview in almost a decade.”

“Fuck this,” Tony mutters, opening one drawer. “Where’s my whiskey?”

“In your bloodstream, I’d imagine. Don’t brush this off, Tony. Sales are waning. We need to make some serious changes in our PR or I’ll be putting in my two-weeks’ notice.”

That gets Tony’s attention. Pepper hadn’t threatened to quit after his last book when he’d killed off one of the most popular characters (one of his personal favorites, may she rest in fictional peace) and the public had flipped their shit. She hadn’t threatened to quit years before that when she walked in on him hunched over his desk with a straw to his nose, three sheets to the wind on far more than just whiskey. She has the disposition of a mountain: unflinching and ever-enduring.

“You mean it,” says Tony.

“I mean it.”

His shoulders sag. He glances around the room: the mess, the junk, the empty alcohol bottles, the half-finished manuscripts. There’s a strange feeling in the back of his throat, acidic, like he might throw up. Or cry. When his mouth opens to say something sarcastic, something about not letting the door hit her on the way out if she expects him to play nice with the media, all that comes out is a broken: “I can’t lose you, Pep.”

She puts a hand on his shoulder. “You will. If you don’t make some changes. Okay?”

Maybe this is what it means to be balanced on a knife’s edge, where one way ends in pain and the other ends in terminal inconvenience. But he knows which one he has to pick. His whole life is just a big inconvenience, but pain? Tony has spent enough time with his hand flat against the stove’s burner to know that he’d rather die than feel it again, rather die than lose one of the only people left who can stand him.

He picks up the closest letter and tears it open, blinking heavily to clear his eyes. Pepper leans down to press a kiss to the crown of his head and then gags. “Take a shower, when you get the chance,” she mutters, smiling.

-

The letters start off by being good for one thing: his ego. Adoring fans have been writing to his penname and business address for decades since he put out his first super-hero novel, titled IRON-MAN. Pepper has chosen to give him recent fan-mail, considering he’s spent so long ignoring it that if he were to answer them in order of reception, he might encounter fans who didn’t even remember the letters once sent. Or ones who were dead.

They are all variations of the same thing. The handwriting changes, gentle feminine cursive to childish scrawling to neat block lettering, but the message is usually the same. DEAR MR. POTTS. I’VE READ EVERY BOOK YOU’VE EVER WRITTEN. I GOT YOUR NAME TATTOOED ON MY ASS. IRON-MAN IS MY HERO. I’VE NEVER READ PROSE AS LOVELY AS YOURS. WHAT IS YOUR SECRET?

At Pepper’s request, Tony drafts a generic letter to send in response, something about how he can’t respond personally to every letter but he wants them to know that he’s read what they’ve written and ‘holds it close to his heart’.

“It’s good,” Pepper approves. “Sign them yourself.”

“Good?” Tony says. “I was joking—this letter is trash. Anyone who knows me would see this for the sarcasm it is—”

“Then thank God none of the fans know you,” Pepper responds coolly.

She has a point. Tony has existed in relative seclusion since he first began publishing his works at 24. After twenty years, he’d managed to remain mostly anonymous. A pseudonym does most of the work, including non-disclosure agreements for his employees. Any time a presence is required, he sends Rhodey or Happy or Pepper even. Theory pages abound on the internet, sites devoted to finding out who the real AE POTTS is. Even though one picture leaked of him during the early 2000’s (a grainy godforsaken thing that didn’t even show his best angle), there were still some disbelievers. One popular conspiracy theory is that AE is Pepper, considering Tony stole her last name to use as his own.

Maybe that’s why his declining image in the media bothers her so much.

A week later, Tony’s hand has a cramp the way it hasn’t since he was a little boy learning to write his letters. Freehand has never been his specialty—it’s far too slow for the way his mind works, bounding a sentence, a scene, a chapter ahead. Signing so many letters is going to freeze his hand in a claw like position. He’s sure of it.

Then Pepper drops the next bombshell on him: the contest.

“It goes against everything I’ve been working so hard to do for the last twenty years,” Tony shouts at the zenith of their argument. “I do not want to be known! I don’t want the fame; I just wanted the goddamn fortune, is that too much to ask for?”

“Times have changed,” Pepper says through her teeth. She holds her own, spine straight. She hasn’t shirked away from his angry outbursts ever, not even when they were children growing up together in Manhattan. “I’m not asking you to do a 20/20 Special. I’m not asking for an interview on Ellen. I’m asking for you to meet with one fan. Have a goddamn lunch with them. If you can’t handle that, then you can kiss your fortune goodbye. Mark my words.”

Tony marks them. He fucking marks them, okay? When he’s drinking himself blind, locked in his office (good luck getting in now, Pep), they ring around his skull like a dime in the dryer. Sometime around dawn, she picks the lock on the door and mops his brow while he vomits in the tiny trashcan beside his desk.

“I’m not doing this to torture you,” she says with uncharacteristic tenderness. Her hand on his forehead occasionally rifling through his greasy hair is not what’s making his eyes prickle with tears—it’s the vomiting. Honest. He’s not that touch-starved. “You know that, right? I hate seeing you like this.”

“I know,” he chokes miserably, gagging again. So he agrees to the Willy Wonka Initiative. Pepper puts out the word that the infamous AE POTTS will be selecting a single fan to meet face to face. Anyone eighteen or older is eligible to participate, as long as they write a letter explaining why they should get it blah blah blah. A golden ticket might have been funner. At least then Tony might have had an excuse to wear the tacky purple suit and tophat.

In the meantime, Pepper reveals that she’s been having Happy screen his mail to only show him the happy letters—figures. His hate mail isn’t extensive, but it certainly exists, having increased exponentially since he killed off Natasha in the last novel.

FUCKING MYSOGINISTIC ASSHOLE, Cheryl from Newport tenderly writes. YOU HAD ONE GOOD FEMALE CHARACTER, AND YOU KILLED HER OFF. I HOPE ANOTHER WOMAN NEVER LETS YOU BETWEEN THEIR LEGS AGAIN AND YOUR DICK SHRIVELS OFF.

Tony thinks that’s pretty succinct. He posts it up on his desk propped up against the last picture ever taken of him and his mother. Killing off Natasha had been an idea he’d personally revolted against for months. Sure, it made sense that sensitive, strong Natasha would be the one to sacrifice herself in order to stop the villain from succeeding in wiping out half the universe. It made sense for a woman to be the one to give her life to protect others.

After all, hadn’t his own mother died trying to protect Tony?

The weekend after the contest drops on their social media platforms, Pepper texts to tell him that it’s being received far, far better than they might have ever hoped for. Already dozens of letters had been received, letters which must have been penned and mailed just hours after the news had spread.

Joy, Tony texts back.

I haven’t told you the best news, she says. That’s how Tony knows that the next news will be the worst news, absolutely the worst news of all. You get to pick the fan.

-

“Any letter catching your eye?” Pepper asks him over lunch in his office.

“They’re all the same,” Tony laments. Even his own ego can only take so much stroking. After a while, the fan mail has become mostly routine and lackluster, though he keeps opening it, keeps signing the response letters, keeps sending them out. “I’m going to end up picking one at random, Pep.”

“I don’t care how you pick,” Pepper says. “As long as you do—and as long as you’re ready to suffer with the consequences of your choice.”

“Suffer? God, I love the light you bring into my life. The unending optimism. The unparalleled faith and trust in me.”

Her eyes glitter even as they roll. “If you like me so much, you can buy lunch next time.”

Tony snorts, taking a large bite from his burger. “Gold digger.”

“I’ve seen your taxes, Tony. These days, there isn’t much gold to dig for.”

“Ouch, kill shot.”

-

The letter arrives only one week before the contest deadline. In the top drawer of his desk are three other letters from potential winners, mostly picked at random, sometimes because Tony likes their handwriting, sometimes because they say something funny that actually makes him laugh. When he opens up the letter from Peter B. Parker, he scans the first lines not intending to be impressed.

Dear Mr. Potts, Peter writes.

I’ve written you so many letters that it should be easy by now. I don’t know why my hands are shaking. Maybe I’m nervous because I know for certain that this one, someone will actually read.

I received my first copy of IRON-MAN when I was eight years old—yes, a little bit heavy for a kid that age, but my parents had just died unexpectedly in a car accident. My aunt and uncle took me in, and my uncle gave me his first edition. Iron-man’s story was one of the only things that got through to me as a kid. His struggle to come to terms with losing his own parents, his loneliness, his fear. The way he overcomes all of that and still goes on to do good…yeah. It meant a lot to a grief-stricken kid. Obviously.

Pretty much every birthday and Christmas, I end up receiving one of your books as a gift. My family and friends know me so well, I have nearly a half-dozen copies of AVENGERS (it’s one of my favorites). The things you write about are so close to my heart, so close to some of the experiences I’ve had in real life. My struggle with mental illness. My abuse and neglect. And the way you write these things makes me think…fear, I guess…that maybe you know something about them too.

I would love to get to meet you and talk about your incredible books. I’d love to get to know you. Not going to lie, as a fanboy, I’d probably be happy to just sit at the same table with you and have a meal. I’ll buy. We don’t even have to talk (okay I swear I’m not as desperate as I sound!). I’m sure you’ve received so many awesome letters, and I know that the fan you pick will be so, so lucky.

(Every letter I write to you, I ask if you could please return my book. It’s been five years since I sent it. I’m sure you don’t even have it anymore, maybe you threw it away from the start. But if you do have it, even if you don’t pick me to win the contest, it would mean so much if you sent it back. When I mailed it to you in Jan. 2014, my uncle was still alive. He’s gone now…anyway it’s one of the only things of his that I have left.)

Your fan always,

PETER.

PS: please disregard the last letter I sent…obviously.

Tony rereads the letter twice. He feels a swirl of emotion in his stomach, not dissimilar to the queasiness after a long night of drinking. This—this is what he sacrificed by being so closed-off from his fans. While he’d known that his fans were real and obviously human, a part of him had never felt the magnitude of it before. These are people with feelings and experiences. This Parker kid (a self-proclaimed fanboy) lost his parents too, and far younger than Tony had. In a car accident.

Maybe Peter hadn’t been there, hadn’t been in the car, hadn’t watched his mother parents go up in flames, but it’s still a tragedy all in its own right. And all at eight years old. Jesus Christ. This kid has been looking up to him for ten years and more, and he had no fucking idea that kind of dysfunctional altar he’d been worshiping at.

Tony goes into the private bathroom connected to his office and gags up—nothing. Drool. But it still leaves his mouth slimy, so he brushes his teeth until he’s spitting pink into the sink, and when he catches sight of the haphazard reflection in the mirror, he pities it. He leans forward to touch foreheads with it, auto-intimacy. Do better, some voice in the back of his head says, but it’s not his voice.

Happy picks up his cellphone on the first ring. Of the ninth call.

“What do you fucking want, Tony?” he hisses into the receiver. “I’m at the movie theater seeing that new Star Wars. You made me go out into the lobby—”

“Then I’m doing you a favor,” Tony says, cracking open the cap on a sparkling water. “Look, I have important questions, I wouldn’t have called otherwise. My fan mail—how much of it has Pepper kept?”

“Jesus, how should I know? Totes and totes full, at least—”

“Brilliant—”

“Why don’t you ask her yourself? I’m missing the movie!”

“Didn’t I say you’re not missing much? I’m asking you because Pepper will make me do it myself: I need you to find specific letters from one fan: Peter B. Parker. Address is Queens, but he could be from anywhere. I’m also especially interested in acquiring a package he sent me in January 2014.”

“Christ, could you be any more mysterious?” Happy mutters. “Text me the details you bastard, I’m not missing another moment of Mark Hamill.”

-

It turns out that Pepper is not only a saint in all ways previously mentioned, but she is a saint in this as well: his fan mail from the last ten years has been saved and meticulously organized by month and year of reception. Happy comes to Tony’s office in the city the next day with a package, the outside brittle but address clear.

The writing is the same script as the letter newly received from Peter, though the handwriting has become more mature over time. Neater. Confined. No more hasty slant from an enthusiastic hand. The kid’s contest entry is in the top drawer of Tony’s desk—the previous potential winners are now the cherries on top of the reject pile. His stomach is heavy as a stone while he tears open the five-year-old package.

Out tumbles a pre-addressed package that was meant to carry the book back to its owner, back to Peter. Then, one first edition of IRON-MAN, the cover a little tattered, the spine creaky. Also included is another letter, torn from a spiral notebook. He opens it with shaking hands.

DEAR MISTER POTTS

I KNOW THAT GETTING A RESPONSE FROM MY LETTERS IS A LONG SHOT, BUT I’M REALLY HOPING THAT YOU’LL AUTOGRAPH THIS COPY OF IRON-MAN AND RETURN IT TO ME. IT IS MY UNCLE BEN’S…

It goes on to describe how his Uncle’s birthday is coming up and Peter hopes to give the autographed book to his Uncle. Tony reads with a heavy heart, knowing now that Tony hadn’t bothered even opening the package, hadn’t tried to sign it—and even if he had, Ben hadn’t lived long enough to celebrate his next birthday. What a son of a bitch Tony is.

For the first time in three months, Tony goes home.

Most days he stays at the space he rents in the fancy Manhattan building, the one that holds his office and Pepper’s own workspace as well as the other people who work for him (Happy, Beck, Rhodey). The mansion outside Manhattan belonged to Tony’s father and his mother. When his mother had still been alive, it had been a cold place that he had endured staying at for her sake. After his mother had died, it had been a torture chamber, or worse—a stale, suffocating tomb.

Then Howard had died and somehow left it to Tony (probably out of some misguided duty to ‘keep it in the family’). Tony made a personal habit to visit it infrequently and stay there even less often; but Pepper maintains it for him, has it cleaned, keeps it safe. Uses it as storage, Tony knows. For his fan mail.

It takes up three entire rooms, floor to ceiling clear totes labeled with months and years. Just looking at it makes Tony feel small, ashamed of how little he cared about interacting with his fans. It’s no wonder sales were down. Searching for Peter’s letters would be like looking for a needle in a haystack—but he has to do it, and he can’t let Happy bear the brunt of the weight anymore either. This is on Tony.

So he begins pulling totes from the room and scattering their contents on the oaken table and floors of the dining room. Five hours and seven totes later, and Tony still has no letter from Peter.

Pepper finds him at midnight. She comes bursting in through the front door—Tony can hear the sound of the door colliding with the wall from the force she’s used—shouting his name. The hysteria in her voice chills him to the bone. It’s worse than the tone she uses when Tony fucks up; this is the tone she uses when there’s a Tragedy, when something is Wrong.

She finds him in the dining room surrounded by letters, kneeling up from where he was slumped on the floor. He must be a sight, but she is one too, her hair a mess, her eyes red. When she sees him, all the breath goes out of her, one hand clutching at her breast as the other grabs the back of a chair for support.

“Jesus, Pep, what’s happened? Is it your father, another heart attack—?”

“Why don’t you ever answer your goddamn phone, you bastard!” She says through heaving breaths. “You don’t leave the office for weeks and suddenly no one can find you, you won’t pick up your phone—”

It takes a long moment for the pieces to connect.

“Oh Christ,” Tony says, chidingly. “What, you were scared for me?”

She slumps into one chair and puts her face into her well-manicured hands. Tony drops back onto his ass. He’s not a good man, not a sensitive man. The last woman who had cried in front of him was his mother, and look at all the ways he had failed her. But the longer he sits letting Pepper cry, the more it feels like bamboo shoots growing under his tender fingernails. Fuck it. He gets up, knees creaking, and goes to her.

They sit side by side at the dining table no one has eaten at in twelve years. Pepper leans into him, her thin shoulders shaking. Shame makes his own eyes burn, because he thought what did she have to be afraid of? But maybe she saw his car in the driveway of the unhappy home he avoids and assumed that he’d come here to Hemingway himself. Maybe she sat in the drive steeling herself to come into the sight of his body.

“I’m going through the fan mail,” Tony says at last.

“I can see that,” she says. Her scathing tone drips with tears.

“I’m okay, Pep,” he says. He’s not sure if it’s true. He’s not sure if he’s been okay ever since he blinked awake upside down and suspended by the seatbelt in the back seat of his mother’s Cadillac, glass littering the roof (and the roof had become the floor, then, see? Because they were upside down), the smell of gas and smoke in his nose). Maybe he’s not okay. Maybe it’s all a fucking lie, but he’s not going to off himself. Not when there’s a mystery afoot. “I promise.”

She nods, one damp hand reaching out blindly for his. It’s an awkward angle to hold hands at, but he doesn’t complain. And awkward or not, it feels nice to be touched in a kind, even platonic way.

“What are you looking for?” Pepper asks at last, wiping at the wet, swollen skin beneath her eyes.

“Why? You want to help?” Tony asks.

“Might as well,” she says. “I always do your heavy lifting, don’t I?”

-

With Pepper’s help, they find the first letter. Somehow the Willy Wonka Initiative has reversed until Tony feels like a kid, ripping open chocolate bars, desperate for a glimpse of gold. At dawn, a cry echoes in the dining room startling Tony from where he was slumping against a tote, dozing.

“I’ve got one, Tony!” Pepper shouts. She’s barefoot, her panty hose taken off and folded on the table, her sensible jacket removed and slung over the back of a chair. Her rumpled shirt and tendrils coming free from her ponytail reveal how much energy she’s been putting into this with him—maybe to make up for her emotional outburst earlier, maybe like a mother humoring a child’s singular beneficial interest. “From Peter B. Parker, address is Queens, same as before.”

“What’s the date?” Tony asks. He slips in a pile of letters from last August and nearly breaks his neck. Wishful fucking thinking.

“Last May. Here—”

Tony takes the letter and collapses in a chair, his lower back grateful for the support. He recognizes Peter’s handwriting as he tears the letter open, and he can feel Pepper’s presence over his shoulder, reading along with him.

This letter is different from the others. Tony knows it right away. The first indication should have been the date; Tony’s most recent novel dropped early May of last year. His most controversial work to date, with praise glorious and venomous in kind. Which way did the scales tip when it came to Peter, Tony wonders.

I know that you won’t read this. I’ve written you twice a year since I was ten years old, and you’ve never written back. I don’t blame you. I’m sure you’re busy—I guess I just needed to get these words down somewhere, so that they exist, so that somewhere there is a record of me after I’m dead.

Tony reads the rest in a dazed blur. At one point, Pepper’s hand lifts to press against her mouth, but still they read on, huddled together for convenience and then for comfort.

In the letter, Peter describes the tragedy of his uncle’s death and how he felt personally responsible, and how after months of guilt, when he’d read about Natasha’s sacrifice, he’d decided to take action. Against himself.

If someone’s death can do so much good in the world, Peter wrote with shaky script. Then maybe mine could too. I’m not deluded or anything. I know that I’m not a superhero and that I’m not fighting against some sanctimonious super villain. But I feel like if my death could make May’s life easier, then I have to do it.

“Jesus. Tony, don’t read this—” Pepper reaches out for the letter but Tony nearly rips it in half trying to keep it away from her.

It’s not just for May, Peter admits. I’m ready to stop hurting, too.

Peter signs off, for good. Only it hadn’t been for good—Peter’s most recent letter had obviously proven that, and hadn’t he written it himself? Ignore my last letter, obviously, he’d said. Something must have changed Peter’s mind, but one thing was clear: it hadn’t been Tony. Because Tony had been so self-absorbed, so tangled in his own grief and ego and addictions he hadn’t even read the letter. If Pepper hadn’t saved it, then it might have been destroyed, no record left of Peter’s words at all.

“Tony,” Pepper says. She takes the letter from his fingers and he lets it go. His hands are numb. “This isn’t your fault. Peter obviously was unstable—he’d just watched his uncle being murdered in front of him. No one in their right mind would read Natasha’s death and think that you were encouraging them to take their own life.”

“I know that,” Tony snaps. Lying. Then: “I’m not an idiot, Pep.”

Maybe the biggest lie of all.

[much-the-millers-kid]

@collabwithmyself has a Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory/Ace Attorney AU (which I love and you should totally check out), and it made me start thinking of the cast in other Roald Dahl books, and my first thought was Matilda. Here is what my mind came up with:

Someone (probably not a very trustworthy someone) recommended a school for Trucy to attend to Phoenix. On her first day, he told Apollo, and he immediately shouted, “NO, No, no, no, we need to get her now,” because that’s where he was sent to school after he left Khu’rain and he knew the horrors that existed within those walls.

Phoenix wasn’t t too concerned (surely if it were that bad parents would have gotten involved) but when Trucy got to the office after school, it was clear someone tried to snuff out the light in Trucy’s eyes. She put on a brave face, but Apollo shared his memories of the school, and the truth is revealed. One of Trucy’s smaller magic tricks she took with her to make friends was confiscated, even though she had only brought them out during a break, so it wasn’t a distraction. On top of that, Trucy was more careful with her gloves, taking a while to be persuaded into taking them off. On her hands were bruises and scrapes, and she confessed to her hands being hit with a ruler when she made a mistake. “I’m one of the lucky ones today,” said Trucy before she recounted the punishments she had seen befall her classmates.

Immediately, Phoenix wanted to transfer Trucy out. However, Trucy was determined that no other child should be hurt by the headmistress, Miss Trunchbull again. So, they got Edgeworth involved, and they agreed that if Trucy could get some solid evidence, there was definitely a case.

So, Trucy went in the next day with the button cam used to see the letter in Kristoph’s cell, but it was quickly confiscated for being unnecessary. Plan B: Phoenix went to get the button back and with the hope of finding something, which he did. He saw the chokey and Trunchbull’s dartboard with students’ faces on it, but unfortunately he was booted from the office before he could turn on the recovered button cam. They brought detective Skye in to help get a less easily confiscated hidden camera, but Trunchbull had become suspicious (why would a parent get involved over a button?) and behaved when Trucy was around.

The next plan was a long-shot but they were desperate, so Trucy “forgot” her lunch and Apollo brought it, hoping that Trunchbull would catch up with a member of the alumni. Unsurprisingly, she didn’t , but she did allow Apollo to take the lunch to Trucy’s classroom. Upon arriving, Apollo found out that many teachers wanted to take Trunchbull down as well, but they were being blackmailed into not taking it to the authorities. So, if safety could be assured, they had witnesses, but they still needed solid evidence.

As a final chance, Edgeworth and Kay went undercover as a father wanting to tour the school before enrolling his daughter. Ema hooked them each up with a camera pin, and Kay was told to snag anything she thinks she can that would be incriminating.

At this point, word had gotten out among the students about what was happening, and others started getting involved. Students were slipping Trucy pictures of injuries with how they were made written on the back. Shenanigans were at an all time high in an attempt to have a “potential parent” see Trunchbull’s discipline in action. Even teachers left records and copies of blackmail letters where Kay could snatch them undetected. However, this was clearly not Miss Trunchbull’s first time giving a tour to a parent, as she masterfully left Edgeworth with teachers who shared her ideals about children whenever punishments needed to be doled out. They needed a breaking point, and fast.

It all came to a crux when a shelf of books fell untouched in the library. Trunchbull told Edgeworth and Kay to talk to one of the nearby teachers and went to scold one of the youngest students. While distracted, a little girl named Lavender gave a folder to Trucy, saying it was from her friend, Matilda. Trucy glanced inside, and rather than evidence of cruel school disciplinary measures, she saw evidence for Trunchbull unlawfully possessing the deed to an estate, and possibly having murdered the previous owner. Quickly, Trucy put all the evidence in her backpack and slid it across the room to Kay.

With all the evidence off of her, Trucy interrupted Trunchbull’s tirade, taking the blame for the bookshelf, saying it was one of her magic tricks. The girl who was being scolded (Matilda, Trucy assumed) stared, knowing Trucy was lying, but Trucy tried to give her best “I have a plan” smile. Before she knew it, Trucy was being hauled to Trunchbull’s office to be put in the chokey.

As the tour came to an end, word had gotten to Edgeworth and Kay about Trucy’s location. Having planned for something happening, Edgeworth produced a note from Phoenix stating he was to pick Trucy up for an appointment. After calling to confirm with Phoenix, Trunchbull tried to encourage them to wait in the front hallway for Trucy to arrive. However, it was adamantly insisted by Edgeworth that they discuss the enrollment process in Trunchbull’s office while they wait. Sure enough, soon after they began talking, all three heard a distinct, “Uncle Miles?”

Almost instantly, Edgeworth was calling for Trucy and following her voice. When she was released, Edgeworth took a good look at the chokey, ensuring he got it on camera. He then grabbed the two girls’ hands, and with a polite farewell, began walking toward the exit. “Let me guess,” Trunchbull snarled. “I’ll be hearing from your attorney. Well guess what? People have found me out before, but there’s no evidence, and no evidence means that no attorney will pay you any mind. These children are just snot-nosed twits who need to learn to behave.”

Edgeworth couldn’t help but pause and scold with his finger. “Tsk, tsk, tsk. You don’t seem to understand how grave a mistake you made, for you see, I am a prosecuting attorney; the chief prosecutor, in fact. I suppose I could assign someone else to this case, but for as many students have been hurt by you, I may take this on myself.”

The color drained from Trunchbull’s face as they continued leaving. Quickly, she staggered out, “I’ll... I’ll get the best defense attorney money can buy!”

The trio didn’t even stop walking as Edgeworth called over his shoulder, “I doubt it, given that I found his daughter in a torture chamber.”

The official case began looking into the disciplinary measures. The records of the teachers were fact-checked against each other, and everything appeared to be accurate. The blackmail letters were also looked into, and some teachers found the courage to take the witness stand after being assured that the secrets used as blackmail could remain secrets. The information provided by that last little girl, Matilda, was the final piece needed to convict Miss Trunchbull and finally close a case that had been left open too long.

The school came under the control of Miss Trunchbull’s niece, Miss Honey, who brought life and hope to the once desolate halls. Matilda advanced a few grades, and ended up in the same class as Trucy. The two became friends near instantly, bringing magic with them wherever they went.