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THE HOT MEDIEVAL & FANTASY MEN MELEE

THIRD ROUND: 5th Tilt

William Thatcher, A Knight’s Tale (2001) VS. Sir Lancelot, BBC’s Merlin (2008-2012)

Propaganda

William Thatcher, A Knight’s Tale (2001) Portrayed by: Heath Ledger Defeated Opponents: - King Arthur [Charlie Hunnam], King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017) - King Vortigern [Jude Law], King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017) - Frodo Baggins [Elijah Wood], The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)

“13-year-old me had such a HUGE crush on Will Thatcher / Ulrich von Liechtenstein, and you know what? 13-year-old me was RIGHT (and had much healthier taste in men). He's a dreamer, he's sweet (except maybe when you're dismissive about jousting...), he gives to others despite having little himself, he has the most charming, contagious smile. And to play us out... he's blonde! He's pissed! He'll see you in the lists! Lichtenstein! Lichtenstein!”

Sir Lancelot, BBC’s Merlin (2008-2012) Portrayed by: Santiago Cabrera Defeated Opponents: - Sid [Luke Youngblood], Galavant (2015-2016) - Chu Hun [Peter Ho], Double World (2020) - Sultan Alauddin Khilji [Ranveer Singh], Padmavaat (2018)

“THE MOST PERFECT LANCELOT TO EVER LANCELOT. Sorry I don't make the rules. He's got pretty hair and kind eyes and a killer smile and he's brave and noble and gorgeous and idiotically self-sacrificing in every aspect of his life and he's got hidden chaotic depths and everyone falls in love with him a little bit!!!!!!! And how can they not!!!!!!!!! How could you ever resist that intensity of loyalty and gorgeous brown eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Additional Propaganda Under the Cut

Additional Propaganda

For William Thatcher:

“HE'S SO CUTE AND BRAVE AND STUPID AND DETERMINED AND FUNNY AND POETIC AND HE HAS BIG BEAUTIFUL BROWN EYES AND FRECKLES AND HE'S BISEXUAL-CODED HE'S MY BOY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH”

“The only man that could have pulled off a David Bowie dance scene within a medieval ballroom.”

For Sir Lancelot:

“He's just so pure and kind and romantic and also god*damn* his face is *literally* flawless and he's got those big brown eyes you could just fall right into and its an actual travesty that they only had him on the show like once a season he should have been a lead, that man deserves justice. For further propaganda I would like to submit the entirety of S2E4, which absolutely rewired my brain chemistry.”

“Hot as the dorky lowborn night with fluffy hair and as the evil, come-back-from-the-dead temptation.”

“Pretty much the whole of Camelot falls in love with him”

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i love a good first contact day hand-kissing-with-tongue meme, don't get me wrong, but put that aside for just one post. i think that from a vulcan perspective there's something really precious about that moment, and to me, it even explains their (very vulcan) affection for humankind from then on.

yes, vulcans do sometimes touch hands in a sensual way, but when you think about sarek and amanda touching hands publicly in "babel," it's not a "public display of affection" in a get-a-room way. it's very affectionate, but it's a public display of affiliation.

i don't know, just imagine that you're the vulcans. you go investigate this warp signature, and you know these people have never met aliens before. first contact is a dangerous mission! these aliens (earthlings) could very likely just shoot you!

and so you land, and these new aliens tentatively approach. no shooting yet, so you give a formal gesture of respect. and this alien tries to mimic it... and then basically embraces you like you're a member of their family.

i think that would really endear me to this new species!

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HAPPY FIRST CONTACT DAY !!! don’t worry guys only 39 more years until we meet the vulcans 🖖

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Queen, King, Knight

For @merlintarotfest

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Merlin tending to Leon (BBC Merlin 5×06)

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For @elyan-fest

Week 04 - Modern Man

Elyan + Hoodie

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leon: while I’m gone, gwaine and percival, you’re in charge

gwaine and percival, high fiving: yes!

leon, whispering: elyan, you’re secretly in charge

elyan: obviously

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Infiltrating the castle (BBC Merlin 3x13)

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Alex is early this year with his sadism against us, I love him for that

It's starting...

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1.05 Lancelot

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Merlin puts up a sheet in the armory where all the knights can see. It’s their names in brackets like a tourney list. They were not aware there was a tourney coming up? What is this?

They notice Merlin observing them and making some notations. Not just during practice but all day. When he sees them around the castle, when they are relaxing at the Rising Sun, everywhere. It’s getting unnerving.

After a few days, some of them have moved up in the lists and some have not. And they have no idea why. Sir Ban seems to have bested Sir Agravaine (though let’s be honest, most of them would say they weren’t surprised). Sir Gareth won against Sir Kay and would now be facing off against Sir Devore who had won against Sir Mellion.

Now the knights are on their best behavior whenever Merlin is around. They still aren’t sure what they are being judged on, but damn if they aren’t going to WIN!

The next time the brackets go up, more knights are knocked out of the running for…whatever the criteria are.

The knights are now doing their absolute best on the practice fields. King Arthur commends each of them for their form - on point like he has never seen. Some kind of fire has been lit under them and he doesn’t know why but he likes it!

The next brackets go up and still they are no closer to figuring out why the winners are winning. You would think they would be insufferable about it - like any tournament - but since they don’t know why they were winning, they can’t be sure they are doing the right thing to win next time.

The knights of Camelot are suddenly the most chivalrous, most well behaved, most dedicated to their craft in all of Albion. The people are amazed at their sudden kindness and generosity. Meanwhile each of them grow more and more paranoid as the brackets keep going up.

Quests! Maybe it was quests? The knights start going out on quests and the word fame of Camelot spreads.

Arthur cannot figure out what has come over them all.

Arthur: Merlin, have the knights seemed…different to you?

Merlin: oh, you mean since I put up the lists?

Arthur:…what lists?

Merlin: the lists where they think they are competing with each other.

Arthur: competing for what?

Merlin: I have no idea what they think they are competing for but they sure are working hard to win it!

Arthur: and how exactly are you determining these “winners?”

Merlin: oh I’m just flipping a coin. They don’t know that though and they are all being extra nice to me😁

Arthur: so this was all…

Merlin: for shits and giggles, yeah

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Liam's mum was awesome

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Darius

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THE HOT MEDIEVAL & FANTASY MEN MELEE

FIRST ROUND: 10th Tilt

Sir Leon, BBC’s Merlin (2008-2012) VS. Samwise Gamgee, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)

Propaganda

Sir Leon, BBC’s Merlin (2008-2012) Portrayed by: Rupert Young Defeated Opponents: - Merlin Emrys [Colin Morgan], Merlin (2008-2012)

“Camelot's loyalist and hottest knight. He was with Arthur from the beginning and stood by him throughout (even when Merlin started teaching him poetry). Leon the long-suffering deserves to be recognized in his own right for the tall, wavy-locked master of the sword that he is.”

Samwise Gamgee, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003) Portrayed by: Sean Astin Defeated Opponents: - Rand al’Thor [Josha Stradowski], The Wheel of Time (2021-)

“Prime husband material. The bestest man -er, Hobbit. HE'S A GARDNER. He hits orcs with a frying pan. HE CAN'T CARRY IT FOR YOU BUT HE CAN CARRY YOU-!”

Additional Propaganda Under the Cut

Additional Propaganda

For Sir Leon:

“This man. Cannot die. He was originally supposed to be toasted in his first appearance like every other redshirt knight in Merlin, but he was so hot and cool, and fans loved him so much they kept bringing him back and even made him a supporting lead.”

For Sam Gamgee:

“He is the ideal man. He cooks, he gardens, he's loyal, he'd follow you to the ends of the (Middle) Earth while only mildly complaining. He's so loveable. I love him. He probably gives awesome hugs and never says an unkind word about anyone except for Gollum but Gollum kinda deserved it for calling Sam fat. He is also, reportedly, an awesome dad. I love Samwise Gamgee so much. He's such a teddy bear I love him so much. Frodo should've married him.”

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THE BELL RIOTS HAVE BEGUN