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neonln4 · 2 months ago

Text

What a Coincidence | lando norris smau

lando norris x reader | best friend!oscar

summary: fans start to put the pieces together when y/n and lando start to get a bit obvious about their relationship

fc: sabrina carpenter

my first post ever!! i hope you enjoy it, apologies in advance for any mistakes, errors, or typos!

part 2

yourusername

liked by yourbff, oscarpiastri, and 1,083,920 others

yourusername so proud of this one, can't wait to share my baby with all of you lovely people

short n' sweet out tonight 💋

View all 4,183 comments

ynfan1 finally!!! been waiting so long for this one!

ynfan2 TAKE MY MONEY QUEEN

yourbff absolutely beautiful album, love you!!

yourusername love you more!!!

oscarpiastri will be tuning in even though best friend privileges got me a sneak peek

yourusername don't forget to promote my album at the paddock 😇

ynfan2 oscar piastri i will pay you an absurd amount of money to slide me the best friend sneak preview

♡

landonorris

liked by oscarpiastri, carlossainz55, and 992,837 others

landonorris fast times and fast nights 🏆

View all 2,610 comments

user1 INCREDIBLE WIN

ynfan2 the y/n lyrics?? or is this a coincidence??

user2 PAPAYAAAAAA!!!! CONGRATS!!!!

oscarpiastri hey that's my song

ynfan2 THE Y/N LYRICS I AM SO DELUSIONAL ABOUT THIS

oscarpiastri oh yeah, congrats mate

user3 THAT'S MY GOAT!!!

ynfan3 not lando trying to get y/n's attention when she has a new man ��

♡

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 1,028,183 others

yourusername couldn't have asked for a better opening night, can't wait to see what else the uk has to offer!!

thank you, london 💋

View all 4,982 comments

ynfan1 waiting patiently for my show

ynfan2 lando in the likes ... y'all i am SO delusional about this

ynfan3 SO PROUD OF YOU Y/N!!!

oscarpiastri the whole crew had a great time tonight!

yourusername who had the best time? 🤭

ynfan2 what does this mean?? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN????

ynfan4 was lando in attendance tonight i have to know

ynfan5 i fear y/n fans don't know what "don't analyze too much" means

ynfan6 poor girl probably just wants to test the waters with her new man and everyone keeps speculating

user1 y/n fans want her with lando sooooo bad, i don't even think he's interested in her at all 😂

♡

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, oscarpiastri, and 843,928 others

landonorris behind the scenes

View all 3,382 comments

oscarpiastri "thank you oscar, i love using your best friend privileges"

landonorris i can't even fight back here

landonorris check your texts for my response

user1 musician lando coming soon?

user2 a man of many talents

user3 someone put him back in the car

ynfan2 oscar best friend privileges ... y'all HEAR ME OUT

ynfan3 here she goes again

user4 ready for race week!!!

carlossainz55 photo creds??

landonorris no thanks

♡

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, yourbff, and 948,382 others

yourusername best friend privileges loading ...

had the best weekend! everyone say congrats to my best friend!!

View all 4,382 comments

ynfan1 CONGRATS OSCAR!!!!

ynfan2 CONGRATULATIONS OSCAR!!! GREAT RACE!!!

ynfan2 yes i'm still delusional and screaming over lando being in the last pic

oscarpiastri thank you for coming y/n, you might be my good luck charm!!

landonorris can i borrow her sometime liked by yourusername

ynfan3 that race was incredible!!! great job osc!!

yourbff i had too much fun, i might have a new favorite sport

yourusername i'll take you to more races, don't you worry!!

ynfan4 i'm guessing ynfan2 didn't see the above interaction

user3 oscar and y/n have the cutest friendship 🥺

♡

lando.jpg

liked by yourusername and 298,038 others

lando.jpg on a night like tonight

View all 1,182 comments

user2 in new york?

user3 pretty!

ynfan2 y/n spotted in the likes

user4 best photographer!

♡

yourusername

liked by yourbff, oscarpiastri, and 1,382,409 others

yourusername thank you, new york!!

always love, love, love performing here. hope you enjoyed the new music 💋

View all 5,382 comments

oscarpiastri performing new music when i can't attend has to go against best friend privileges

yourbff beautiful girl!! loving your lover girl era, you are GLOWING!!

ynfan1 BEST NIGHT EVER!! THANK YOU FOR THE NEW MUSIC, WE'RE SO SPOILED!

ynfan2 THE MCLAREN COLOR OUTFIT??? i might be reaching but ...

ynfan3 considering he was just in new york ... you might be onto something

ynfan4 LOVE YOU! YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING AND MORE

♡

landonorris

liked by yourusername, yourbff, and 892,384 others

landonorris ready for you vegas, i've got a good luck charm this week

View all 3,828 comments

oscarpiastri i think you mean i've *stolen a good luck charm from my teammate this week

landonorris tough luck mate

user1 GOOD LUCK!!

user4 LFG!!!!

user2 COME ON PAPAYA

ynfan2 Y/N BEING THE GOOD LUCK CHARM HE BETTER WIN THIS WEEKEND

ynfan3 is this y/n's new man?? good luck lando norris

ynfan1 suddenly i love formula 1

yourbff good luck!!

ynfan2 omg queen what are you doing here

♡

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 1,483,472 others

yourusername what happens in vegas ... you know the rest 💋

happy birthday, congratulations, i love you 🧡

View all 6,372 comments

yourbff MOM AND DAD!!! SO HAPPY FOR YOUUUUUUU

ynfan2 I KNEW IT!!!!!! I KNEW I WASN'T DELUSIONAL I WAITED SO LONG FOR THIS

oscarpiastri i think it's safe to assume that you're no longer my good luck charm

landonorris everybody point and laugh

landonorris i love you, I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

user3 just down horrendous

ynfan1 SHE'S HAPPY!!!! I USED TO PRAY FOR TIMES LIKE THIS

ynfan4 lando better treat her right

carlossainz55 any chance i can borrow your luck before the season is over

landonorris NO????

user3 LMAOOOOOOOOOO

♡

landonorris

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 1,382,094 others

landonorris lucky to call you mine. beautiful show by the most beautiful girl.

if anyone is still wondering: yes, we have really good bed chem

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user2 they are actually so cute

user4 THEY ARE EACH OTHER'S BIGGEST FANS I LOVE THEM

user1 MY PARENTS!!!

ynfan2 this is what dreams are made of

ynfan4 OHHHHH HE MATCHES HER FREAK OKAY Y/N 😏

user3 THE LAST PART OF THE CAPTION???

yourusername horny on main is crazyyyyyy

landonorris horny on album before we were even public is crazyyyyyyyy

user5 OH I'M OBSESSED WITH THEM

oscarpiastri lando acting like he wasn't kicking his feet and blushing the first time he heard bed chem liked by yourusername

ynfan3 we will be cheering for lando for the rest of the season

#lando norris #f1 #f1 x reader #lando norris smau #lando norris fluff #lando norris x you #lando norris x reader #lando norris x y/n #f1 smau #formula 1 #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #lando norris au #lando norris imagine #lando x reader

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23victoria · 6 months ago

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Passing the Phone

f1 grid x reader

warnings: cussing, unhinged, satire, complete jokes (are they?...), dark humor ig…idk, talk of age gaps, sa allegations, no just kidding...very much reading people to the filth

authors note: lmaoo don’t ask me why i wrote this cause idk…but this is so unhinged 😭😭 please don’t take offense to this and if you do…i said don’t…all jokes i love them, some of them, you can find it funny or you won’t, just wanted to get this out of my drafts

want to be tagged in my works?! CLICK HERE!

f1 masterlist

Video starts with Y/N holding the phone, in selfie mode.

Y/N: I'm passing the phone to someone who had the biggest breakup in F1 history with a blond German boy named Nico.

Lewis: Babe, no!

Y/N: What, too soon? It's been years but okay! Sorry! Okay, let me start again. I'm passing the phone to someone who said "Fuck Mercedes" and is going to Ferrari for 2025!

Lewis: Y/N, no!! You cannot say that! You’re gonna get me in trouble!!

Y/N: Fine, fine, fine. I'm passing the phone to the GOAT of this generation with the most wins in F1 history, yet he was robbed of the championship in 2021.

Y/N passes the phone to Lewis.

Lewis: stares at Y/N then laughs “I'm passing the phone to someone who is known more for his memes than driving skills.”

Lewis passes the phone to George.

George: laughs “Hahaha real funny…I'm passing the phone to someone who took six years to get their first win."

Lando: “Dude, what the fuck?! Fuck you, Woody! I'm passing the phone to someone who's younger than me yet acts years older than me.”

Oscar: “....You're not funny... I'm passing the phone to someone who's most likely losing their seat next season.”

Logan: “The fuck, Oscar! I thought we were friends! Low blow, mate. I'm passing the phone to someone who has yet to get P1, yet all his friends who got into F1 after him have won races already.”

Alex: “....And that, Logan, is why you're losing your seat. Mr. What The Fuck is A Kilometer. Anyway, I'm passing the phone to someone who just got brutally murdered by an interviewer on Sky Sports regarding their F1 career, if you could call it that.”

Daniel: “You shouldn’t be talking Mr. I Have No Wins….eat shit…I'm passing the phone to the shortest person on the grid but cusses more than anyone here.”

Yuki: “That interviewer was right, why the fuck do you still have a seat in F1?!! Dickhead. I'm passing the phone to a man with good fashion sense and his teammate might steal his seat.”

Zhou: “Bro….really. I'm passing the phone to someone who acts like he's Australian when he’s not…oh, and his seat is at risk too.”

Bottas: “Yeah, yeah, whatever mate. I'm passing the phone to someone who has enough penalties in just nine races that he can be banned from racing in F1… permanently.

Kevin: “You're so funny, Bottas, hahaha…ha. I'm passing the phone to a dickhead.”

Nico: “Fuck you too asshole. I'm passing the phone to a person who has a shitty ass dad who deserves to be in jail.”

Max: burst out laughing “Ah, no lies told there. I'm passing the phone to someone who only has a seat to protect me from having any real competition…”

You laugh in the background “Oh shit.”

Checo: blank stare “Motherfucker! That just shows your true colors... I'm passing the phone to... who am I supposed to pass it to... uhhh... Y/N.

Takes phone

Y/N: “Oh, I know! I'm passing the phone to someone who has sexual assault “allegations” against them, but the FIA wants to hide it. I can’t go near him for my safety, so I’ll just turn the camera towards him... *pans the camera to Christian Horner*

Everyone is stunned and silent, then there’s Lewis laughing in the background

Y/N: “Oh! I have another one! Hey Kelly, “i hear you like them young”, to be more specific at the ripe age of 17... mhmmm, she's a pedoo. What Kendrick say “TRYNA STRIKE A CORD AND ITS PROBABLY A MINNORRRR” *pans the camera to Kelly Piquet*

silence.

Lewis: runs towards Y/N and grabs the camera “Yup, that's enough for today. You're trying to start problems and get people beat up”

Video ends with Lewis taking the phone away from Y/N, shaking his head while laughing.

.•☆.°.•.*₊ ☆ .*₊ .• ☆.°.• .

✿ .° • everything taglist • °. ✿ : @ham1lton @ietss @animeandf1lover @nelly187 @heartsfromtaeyong @bloodyymaryyy @nor-4 @zacian117 @mel164 @uhhvictoria @hadidsworld @magixpracticality @exotic-iris13 @tellybearryyyy @zabwlky1999 @sya-skies @lillysbigwilly

@eoduuung

.•☆.°.•.*₊ ☆ .*₊ .• ☆.°.• .

*sooooo……that’s the end….LMFAOOOO, again…DO NOT COME FOR ME…ITS JOKES (is it really though)*

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captainreecejames · 6 months ago

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Fired by a... wag? || my ex is a footballer lh44

summary mercedes admin gets fired?

pairing lewis hamilton x reader faceclaim bruna marquezine

warnings curisng, google translate for multiple different languages

notes the much anticipated part 2 to lewis hamilton my ex is a footballer, also i couldn't resist at the end so if brocedes talk to eachother this season just know i predict the future

twitter ---------

ynusername posted--------

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc and others

ynusername first 3 are canadian gp and the last is lewis catching me off guard as I'm on the phone

load more comments

username1 I just know she's on the phone with toto complaining about the admin ↳ username2 the power she holds >>>

roscoelovescoco moms protectings dad ❤️ by ynusername

username3 lewis confirming that yn was yelling at toto via roscoe's instagram, not what I was expecting.

username4 god she is actually the most stunning woman in the world

lewishamilton meu anjo ↳ ynusername eu te amo

username5 the aura in the first picture, unmatched ↳ username6 yeah, but she's also just really fucking hot ↳ username5 lewishamilton can you fight ↳ lewishamilton yes ↳ username6 LOLOLOL

carmenmmundt linda!!! ↳ ynusername no you

username7 why does she look like kendall jenner in the last photo

username8 fan's creating beef between lewis and george meanwhile their wags are calling each other beautiful ↳ username9 the guys leave it on the track, why would carmen and YN need to bring it up on instagram comments

twitter -------

ynusername posted--------

liked by carmenmmundt, georgerussell63 and others

ynusername lewis I know I've only known you for a few months and you've accomplished so much before but to see you on the podium knowing how much work you put into this is awe inspiring. Hope you always know how loved you are

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lewishamilton I love you yn

lewishamilton these last two months have been amazing and your support through this time means so much to me. I wouldn't want to be here without you

username10 bro i can barely get a text back after 2 months and they're over here telling each other they love you

username11 don't you guys think it's a little fast ↳ username12 don't you think it's none of your business

username13 I know she sent the sabotage email, she really is ride or die for him.

alexandrasaintmleux can't wait to have you in the ferrari garage next year! ❤️ by charles_leclerc ↳ username14 CHARLES WHEN SILVIA SEES THIS YOU ARE GETTING YOUR PHONE TAKEN AWAY ↳ ynusername eu te amo alex

ynusername posted--------

liked by mercedesamgf1, roscoelovescoco and others

ynusername to see you finally on that top step of the podium in Brazil, lewis I don't think you understand how much I love and cherish you. With this season almost done I am so grateful for everything that brought me you and I can't wait to start out next chapter together.

load more comments

sebastianvettel congrats you two ❤️ by ynusername, lewishamilton

charles_leclerc congrats happy couple ❤️ by ynusername, lewishamilton

username20 I'm fucking screaming, what???

username21 imagine a year ago you told yn fans that she'd be engaged, we would have said thank go kylian got his head out of his ass ↳ username22 bro it hasn't even been a year since they broke up ↳ username21 yn knew what she wanted

useranme23 lewis really bagged himself a baddie

mercedesamgf1 congratulations to both! hope admin gets an invite to the party ↳ ynusername of course you do adminuser, you're a gem ↳ adminuser omg love you so much yn

scuderiaferrari can't wait to see yn ln-hamilton in the garage next year ↳ username24 ferrari just rubbing it in that they get the goat next year, have to respect the hustle

scuderiaferrari yn do we also get an invite ↳ ynusername stay on my good side babe ↳ scuderiaferrari we promise to always have amarena gelato in stock ↳ ynusername sold 😍😘

username25 further proof that yn got the old mercedes admin fired because why are the admin's getting invited to the wedding??

maxverstappen1 gefeliciteerd voor jullie allebei ❤️ by lewishamilton, ynusername

pierregasly félicitations à toi ❤️ by lewishamilton, ynusername

valterribottas happy couple !!! ↳ ynusername valterri, it's yn. thank you! 💞 ↳ valterribottas 🙄🙄

georgerussell63 congratulations lewis and yn! ↳ carmenmmundt we love you ❤️ by ynusername, lewishamilton

fernandoalo_oficial felicidades a los dos ❤️ by ynusername, lewishamilton

nicorosberg congratulations yn and lewis! much love to you both ❤️ by ynusername, lewishamilton ↳ lewishamilton thanks nico ↳ username26 NICO???! ↳ username27 ENGAGEMENT SO GOOD IT GOT BROCEDES BACK TOGETHER

#lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton x fem!reader #lewis hamilton smau #read #formula 1 imagine #f1 imagine #formula 1 smau #my ex is a footballer series #danielle writes

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the-froschamethyst4 · 4 months ago

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Saddle Up and Shut Up

𖤐Pairing: Cowboy! Soap x Cowgirl! Reader

𖤐Pronouns: she/her

𖤐Warnings: Smut, fluff, language, married couple, P in V, pussy slapping, fingering, some dirty talk, kissing/making out, eating out, groping, nipple play, pinching,

𖤐Summary: Soap is obsessed with his wife, his wife is just as such a good cowgirl and helps him on the farm.

————

After leaving the Military John Soap MacTavish had bought farmland in Yorkshire, England. He built a farmhouse and bought farm animals such as goats, sheep, cows, horses, pigs and chickens.

Soap then got married to his wife Y/n. Y/n was as good as him at being a cowgirl. She liked to go do farm chores with Soap like getting the eggs from the chickens, milking the goats and cows, shaving the sheep, and feeding the pigs and horses.

Y/n and Soap were in the field on the back of their horses, they were gonna wrangle up some calves and tag them. Soap sits walks over to her and stood next to her and saw the cows start running towards them, they got their lassos ready.

Y/n through her rope and got one of the calves and took it down, she tied it's legs and tagged the baby, she let's the calf go and got another along with Soap.

They've tagged around 10 calves.

"All done," Y/n says.

"Yep," Soap says popping the p.

Soap watches as sweat rolls down her neck. She looked so sexy right now. In Soap's eyes she looked so sexy.

"John."

"Huh?" He says, looking at her.

"Are you hungry?"

"Oh yeah, I am," he says with a smirk.

Soap and Y/n headed back to the farmhouse, they got off their horses and let them eat the grass in the front yard. She kicked her boots off at the door and Soap does too.

Soap watched her make some ham sandwiches and Soap picked which chips he wanted for his sandwich. Soap placed the chips next to the plate, Soap then placed his hand into Y/n's back pocket pulling her close to him.

"John."

"What? I'm not doing anything," he says, kissing her temple.

"Well...are you hungry?"

"I'm hungry for something else," he finally says.

He picks her up and places her on the island in the middle of the kitchen, he stood between her legs, he kisses her lips, hands cupping her cheeks and they started to have a heavy make out session.

Soap's hands going under her small white tank top, groping her breasts, they fit perfectly in his hands as she let's out a soft moan. Her fingers combing through his hair.

"S-Soap," she moans.

Soap then pins Y/n on her back, her arms going over her head as his lips were hot and wet. His tongue drags down her neck, she moans again and her finger clench in his hair slightly tugging at the strains.

"Fuck," he moans.

He sits up, he starts unbuckling his belt and removing his nasty gray shirt. He fishes his dick out of his boxers and gives himself a few pumps before, removing Y/n's belt and pulling her jeans off, her cute panties on full display for him. He smirks kissing her inner thighs, and sucking just above her panties.

He starts pulling them down and tossed them on the floor. He licks his lips before taking his hand and gently slapping it against her sloppy wet pussy.

She moans grabbing his wrist and trying to make him stop but she also didn't want him to stop. He slaps it again, she moans and squeezed her thighs around his hand.

"God, you look so cute like this, Bonnie." he says.

"K-Keep going," Y/n moans. He smirks and one the last slap he shoves two fingers inside of her. She moans, she squeezes around his fingers.

"God, you're so fucking tight baby," he says.

"Ah!" She moans indicating that he should go faster and he did. He pushes his fingers in and out of her lower half. His fingers were thick and calloused, she moans and held his wrist.

She could feel herself close to coming. She looks at him and he smirks pulling his fingers out, she whines and then he pumps himself a few more times again, before pushing himself inside of her.

She put her head back hitting the wooden counter top. She moans from the pain but ignored it because she was feeling so good. Soap smirks when seeing her face become red and tears wanting to fall from her eyes and roll down her cheeks. He puts his finger under her eyes and wiped them away from her eyes.

He leans down kissing the salty tears away from her face. He smiles down at her, her arms wrapping around his neck and her legs wrap around his waist.

"God, you're so fucking hot," he smirks, kissing her neck and sucking on her neck leaving small purple bruises. His thrusts were becoming sloppy. He starts groaning as his tip hits against her spot. Y/n moans tossing her head back.

Soap sat down holding Y/n against his chest, he starts moving his hands from her back down to her hips, helping her bounce up and down, his tip hitting her spot, over and over.

Her head then went to his shoulder muffling her moans and biting his shoulder, he groans and taps her ass a few times earning light moans from her.

"Fuck, fuck," Y/n curses and felt herself squeeze around him. He groans and gives one more sloppy thrust and felt himself coming. Y/n let's out one more moan before coming as well.

Y/n was panting as Soap pulls out, feeling his tip and feeling his sticky cum. He moves Y/n on her back, he goes down and sees cum leaking from her. He smirks and licks his lips and licks the mixed cum.

Y/n moans her thighs wanting to squeeze around his head but they were being forced open by Soap. He looks up at her, her right arm over her eyes, her mouth slightly opened with moans coming from her lips. Her left hand squeezing the the edge of the counter top.

Her nipples were hard due to the cold counter on her back when her tank top raised up. His hand goes up Y/n's tank top squeezing her breasts and pinching at her hard nipples.

She moans her small hands holding his hand through her tank top.

"S-Soap, I'm-I'm gonna cum again," she moans.

"Do it, bonnie," he groans as he kept licking her and sucking on her clit.

She moans fighting against his hand holding her open, she finally squeezed his head as he moving his tongue faster and the wet sounds filled the kitchen.

"Ah!" She moans before finally coming again.

Soap sits up looking down at Y/n, she was sweaty and her hair sticking to her forehead along with Soap's hair sticky to his own forehead.

"Fucking hell," he cusses.

Soap pulls Y/n off the counter top and takes her to their shared bathroom. He placed her on the sinks counter taking off her tank top and turning on the shower. He watches as she gets off the counter and gets into the shower.

Soap strips from his clothes and hops in the shower with Y/n. He starts cleaning her up before himself. He pours shampoo in his hands rubbing it in and massaging it into her hair. Rinsing it out of her hair and then using her conditioner.

He grabs her loofa and puts her body wash on it and rubs it gently into her skin, she smelled like strawberries and vanilla.

"You smell so good," he says, kissing her neck and her shoulder.

"I better, you're cleaning me," she says.

---------

Y/n laid on the couch in one of Soap's shirts, he comes out of the shower in sweatpants and no shirt like usual. He sits next to her moving her feet to his lap.

"You tired?" He asks.

"A bit," she moves to cuddle up to his side now.

"I can tell, don't worry, bonnie," he kisses the top of her head, her eyes started to close, and light snores came from her. Soap smiles down at her kissing the top of her head and rubbed her side.

"You're such a sexy cowgirl," he mumbles, he taps her hips and gave her hip a gentle squeeze. "Sleep tight, bonnie," he says.

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starryeyeddreamer21 · 4 months ago

Text

Characters as things I've said/heard people say

I went to the fair with my family so you get this

---

Angel: No regrets, if we die good riddance

----

Cherri: I would strap myself to a bomb for fun

----

Charlie: I haven't pet a cow in too long I think

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Vaggie: *furious* All because I can't crochet

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Husk: if I was a goat I'd uhhh umm I don't know I'd probably just be a goat... Sleep maybe?

----

Angel: I'm going to touch your ankles

Husk: What are you, some kind of Victorian pervert?

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Charlie: *gasping and pointing to a sign* SUPER FRIED CHICKEN

Angel: Lame I want super SUPER fried chicken

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Alastor: *watching pork roast* Gorgeous

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Charlie: *feeding Vaggie* here comes the airplane

Alastor: ... That was embarrassing for both of you

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Vaggie: *watching a man dressed as a cockroach walk by* The men have started morphing into their true forms

----

Cherri: Wouldn't it be funny if this place got set on fire

Charlie: No??? There would be a stampede

Cherri: Oh damn I would die

Charlie: No, you would stampede?

Cherri: I wouldn't run

Charlie: *sigh* yeah, of course not

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Sir Pentious: If I died on a rollercoaster my last words would be "Wahoo"

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Nifty: I need to destroy, I need to rip something to shreds with my bare hands

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Lucifer and his Candy apple adventures a saga:

Lucifer: *holding a candy apple* oh hell yeah I'm gonna fuck this shit UP

Lucifer: *spits seed at Alastor*

Alastor: *doesn't notice*

Lucifer: *spits seed at Alastor*

Alastor: *looks around* ???

Lucifer: *spits seed at Alastor*

Alastor: *looks back at him* What are you doing?

Lucifer: Huh?

Lucifer: *spits seed at Alastor*

Alastor: WILL YOU STOP

Lucifer: What are you talking about????

Alastor: You're throwing something in my hair and on my shoulders and back-

Lucifer: *singing* head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes!

(my sister never figured out what I was doing 💀)

Lucifer: *still eating his candy apple* Why am I eating this like a chicken wing?

Charlie: Is that not how you're supposed to eat it?

Lucifer: You are absolutely right

Lucifer: *covered in candy apple* I'm sticky 🥺

Lucifer: *done with his candy apple but still chewing on the stick*

Alastor: *takes a bite of a mozzarella stick*

Lucifer: *gasps* MOZZARELLA STICKS

Alastor: *dips mozzarella sticks in marinara sauce and holds it out to Lucifer*

Lucifer: *reaches for it*

Alastor: *takes it back and glares*

Lucifer: what? oh- weirdo *eats it from his hand*

----

Lucifer: Can you bring me to the bathroom?

Alastor: I'm not carrying you

Lucifer: *rolls eyes* can you walk me to the-

Alastor: I might be able to find you a little red wagon

Lucifer: I'm going to punch you

----

Cherri: Froot loops are just-

Angel: *nods seriously* Gay Cheerios

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Charlie: I need to find a bathroom to cry in asap

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Vaggie: She's either drunk or high off something

Angel: I think it would be easier if I was high

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Charlie: All I can smell is weed

Angel and Cherri: *deep inhale*

Charlie: NO

----

Alastor: Ugh there are so many people

Lucifer: I know I'm dying

----

Angel: *gasp* MY PHONE IS ON ONE PERCENT

Alastor: *completely monotone* oh no the horrors

----

Stranger: Is that your dad?

Husk: Do I look that old?

Angel: No, we're married

Stranger: Oh... you're married

Angel: *laughing* No

Husk: DO I LOOK THAT OLD????

----

Lucifer: *singing along* I can count on you like 4 3 2 you'll be there

Alastor: No I'd leave you

Lucifer: Yeah I know

Alastor: Like everyone else

Lucifer: oh

----

Nifty: *staring at crystals* Do I think they could heal me? No, I am beyond repair. Do I think they're so so so so pretty? YES!!! I NEED THEM

----

Lucifer: *overstimulated, angry, and grinning with tears in his eyes* I wish I could enjoy things

---

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rowretro · 6 months ago

Text

𝕭𝖑𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞 𝕿𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖞

(this is a request I hope this went well!!!)

✧warnings: Yandere/toxic themes, kidnapping, marriage, blood, violence, explicit stuff mentioned (gore etc),Hyper feminine reader, mean af Riki

❁synopsis: The sweet, beautiful human princess married the cold, handsome Vampire prince, for a happy ending in both worlds, where blood shed and murders won't occur anymore. It's perfect, in fact they're such a perfect couple. That's what people believed, but they never understood how broken the couple are behind closed doors...

✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧

"Listen... uhm Riki? yeah I think I'll sleep on the couch I mean I'm human- you're vampire, on top of that I really doubt you do want to share a bed with me-" "I don't want to share anything with you not like I have a choice-" He cut her off as she nodded, feeling awkward. He finally owns this girl god damit. Instead of being all scared and obedient, she's here, pink silk flowy nightgown hugging her in all the right spots, making her seem like a trophy wife. Nail's all blingy, with charms and hearts, her lips still tinted from her lipstick from before, and lashes all done spikey and stunning.

Riki couldn't stand it. She's one of those annoying, mean girl wannabes who body shame girls that are living life. So he thought. She smiled as she went downstairs, carrying her pet goat to the garden. Yes a pet goat, it even had pink light pink shoes, and matching pink bows. Riki found her intriguing. Annoying. "uhm... I don't wanna sound rude but uhm can you please not drink Veronica's blood?" she asked as Riki blinked "You have a goat called Veronica.... do you get bullied in school?" he asked as she frowned.

"Uhm I don't know how to respond to that.... Of course I don't- I can defend myself when I need to- and I don't think humans get bullied for their pets... Maybe vampires might but not us humans" She said as she placed her goat in the comfy little enclosure, and brought her pet bunnies in. For a girly girl she sure does own a lot of pets. "can I suck their blood?" he asked half jokingly as she frowned.

"Id rather you suck my blood." she said as she pouted at her rabbits, booping their noses as she locked them in the indoors cage. "Woah there Mrs Nishimura... getting a little too attached to a cold blooded vampire" he teased as she rolled her eyes. "I suggest you sleep in my room if you want to be alive.... not all vampires here are as patient as I am." Riki simply said as he grabbed her waist, teleporting her to his room. "I doubt you had to hold me but uhm... thanks?" she thanked, scratching her head as Riki smiled.

She's such a pretty girl, so cute, especially when she's shy and nervous, he's seen her smile, fake and real smile, and its so fucking cute... he wonders how she looks when she cries... He pushes her onto the bed, catching her off guard, hovering over her as he suggestively leaned into her nick, his lips gently grazing her skin. A smirk plastered on his lips as he could hear, and smell the blood rapidly coursing through her veins. He turned to look at her frightened expression, then got up, satisfied.

"You thought I'd actually fucking touch you.... pfft you're too full of yourself y/n... you really aren't all that you know?!" as she just uncomfortably scratched at her arm. It wasn't enough of a reaction for him. "Why do you think the real reason is behind your parents and not your older sister? want me to tell you why?! you're a weak useless stupid girl who fails her studies focuses on her looks no matter how ugly you truly are. You're so worthless they went all in and threw you in the arms of me. Me who loves human blood, especially the blood of a sad, worthless little girl, preferably pretty... but you're ugly" He remarked.

Y/n's eyes became glossy. he was right for the most of it, she was more creative than academic, she loved doing her nails and makeup, but it's therapeutic, and she wasn't the biggest fan of her appearance and her parents are very disappointed in her... she constantly lived in her sister's shadow. But Riki doesn't know any of that. He didn't know until he read through the thoughts that clouded her mind. She truly wanted to die.

She's absolutely ethereal, even when crying. "But you don't need them.... you're the most stunning woman I've ever laid eyes on so as long as I have you all to myself.... everyone is safe." Though his words were absolutely sweet, he's being genuine, he wants this marriage though she doesn't. Yet she can't help but notice something eerie lacing his words... his eerie obsession...

Since their wedding day, he was always with y/n, in the kitchen, in their bedroom, the living room, outside the restroom, even in his office where he forbids anyone from entering. Y/n pouted as she aired her lips, lying on her front on the comfortable airbed, piled with blankets and fluffy pillows. Riki snickerred at the cute view. She's always a sight he loves to see.

She's grown so dependant on him, such a typical 1950's housewife, except she has a loyal loving husband who drinks her blood of course. "Riki im boredddd can't I got to the living room and play with the bunnies?" she asked with a little pout as he got up. She stared him up, and god was he tall, she envied him for having such a perfect waist, but she loves him so dearly. "Sweetheart.... I can't go a second without youuu-" he whined a little, as he snuggled her.

"I need to pee-" she suddenly said as Riki groaned "no you don't" he said bluntly as he snuggled into her neck "no seriously I need to" "no you don't you're making an excuse to leave me." he said as she frowned "Riki im serious. my bladder can only hold so much. and on top of that, if you don't want your expensive tailored trousers, and this fluffy bed, and this nightgown you bought me to be all wet and gross and stinky I suggest you let me go pee now!" she exclaimed in a somewhat calm manner. He sighed getting up as he waited outside the restroom door, waiting for her to finish.

He carried her once she was done, sitting her on his lap as he worked. "Riki..." "hmm?" "Can I visit my parents tomorrow?" she asked biting her lip as he stopped writing, glaring at her coldly "no. you don't need them." He coldly said as she whined "But they're my parents I miss them!" "No you don't. Y/n you have me and im enough, if you want more company, wait a few years we'll have noisy kids. until then, me and your fluffy pets are enough understand?!" he warned as she frowned.

"Why can't I-" "I said NO. FUCKSAKE Y/N YOU'RE MINE NOW. WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO TURN YOUR BACK TO ME AND GO VISIT OTHER PEOPLE?! PEOPLE WHO FUCKING HATE YOU?!" he yelled as she flinched, sniffling. Seeing this he snuggled her, kissing her forehead. "awww im sorry for yelling at you babe.... but I love you and you're mine now you know? you're mine all mine."

✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧

A/n: this isnt that good but oh well, have a jay ff in the waiting, and im currently writting a sunghoon ff inspired by Leo the movie w vijay (i had a dream)

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goldenamaranthe-blog · 7 months ago

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Street Rat: Chaggie - Aladdin AU

STOP! THIEF!

Vaggie: *running theough the streets of Pride with a small mob on her tail, hood drawn, and mask up* Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Mobster Boss: I'm gonna sheer your clit off for stealing from me, you little cunt!

Vaggie: Oh, so I have time then! You'd have to find the fucking thing first! *scales the nearest building easily and starts running along rooftops*

Mobster Boss: Don't just fucking stand there! Get her!

Goons: *scramble to find a way up to the roof*

Vaggie: And like that, I'm in the clear- WHOA!!!! *dodges a swinging hammer aimed at her head and speeds the other direction* Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Goon 1: She's over here!

Vaggie: *parkour jumps onto the next building and starts shuffling down the wall when a hand reaches out and pulls her inside* Shit!

Angel: For fuck sakes, Vags! Get in here!

Goons: *look down to the alley below* Where'd she go?! Where'd she go?!

Goon 2: Uh.... that way! *starts running the opposite direction with the rest following*

Vaggie: *exhales heavily* Thanks, Angel.

Angel: Psh! Don't thank me. Thank the girls for letting me hold you in here.

Vaggie: *eye widens and she looks around the room at all the girls in various stages of undress with a blush* Uhhh..... Hello, ladies. Um... thank you for letting Angel help me out.

Girls: *huff and go about their business*

Angel: Yeah, they're not a fan of broke ass bitches and bastards.

Vaggie: I can see that.... Oh, by the way. Here. *plops a wad of Hellbucks into Angel's hand* That should cover the rest of what I owe you.

Angel: Daaaaaaamn, Vagina. You really risked your neck for this haul, didn't you?

Vaggie: Vaggie... *shrugs* Better in the hands of those who need it instead of some greedy mob boss who just uses it as a spicy fleshlight.

Angel: *thumbs through the wad of cash with a smirk* Awwww, yeah. Gotta love musky money~ Well, thanks for the "donation"! So, what other trouble are ya getting into these days, Vagina?

Vaggie: For fuck sakes, it's Vaggie and you know it.... and that's fucking disgusting. I'm just trying to stay alive on the streets. You know that.

Angel: Well, there's a big festival going on in the middle of town today! Lots of schmucks with loose change for easy pickins if you catch my drift.~

Vaggie: ....What's the festival for?

Angel: Eh. Some prince or something coming to try and sway the Princess into marrying him. Doubt it's gonna work.

Vaggie: *scoffs with a snort* Not if those demon goats have anything to say about it.

Meanwhile:

Charlie: I am NOT meeting with Prince Seviathan!

Lucifer: *sweating* Come on, sweetie. Just talk to him a little. He traveled all the way from Envy to see you.

Charlie: *huffs and crosses her arms* How could you expect me to even consider him as a possible suitor when he's such an arrogant idiot! He's a jerk to literally everyone, Dad!

Lucifer: Oh, I'm sure he's gotten better since his early teens, baby.

*trumpets herald Seviathan's approach*

Lucifer: Just..... try to talk to him. *glances at Razzle and Dazzle* And YOU TWO be on your best behavior!

Razzle & Dazzle: *hooves tuck behind their backs as they sit up at attention* Baaa!/Baaap!

Lucifer: Good! *sighs* I'll be downstairs to greet him. *leaves*

Charlie: *arms still crossed* ......You two didn't actually agree to that, right?

Razzle & Dazzle: *hold up one hoof each that has their toes crossed*

Charlie: Good boys!

#street rat #street rat au #aladdin au #hazbin hotel #chaggie #charlie #vaggie #lucifer #angel dust #razzle #dazzle #razzle and dazzle #seviathan mention #part 1 #im sick of ao3 tags not correlating so im putting this here

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moonselune · 3 months ago

Note

Yay open inbox time!! Can we have the ladies with a tav whose eyes change colour based on how they feel like red for angry, sky blue for happy, dark blue for sad, yellow as alert, green as disgust, silver/grey for neutral and of course bright pink for love at the ladies. This idea has been in my head for a while since I saw it on a different fandom (rwby if you were wondering) and thought I would see if the GOAT writer of bg3 would be willing x

me??? I'm the GOAT?? :''''') love you nonnie xoxox

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Karlach:

Karlach had always been the type to find joy in the little things, and for her, your eyes were one of those little things she loved to play with. The way they shifted color, reflecting your emotions as clearly as a mirror reflected an image, fascinated her. It was as though you wore your heart in your gaze, every feeling laid bare in the changing hues of your irises. And to her, it was endlessly amusing — almost like a game.

You’d be sitting together in the warmth of your home, the sun setting low in the sky, casting a golden glow over everything. Karlach’s ever-present grin would widen as she leaned in close, watching your eyes with the playful, mischievous energy she always carried.

"Come on, what’s it gonna be now?" she'd tease, her deep voice full of affection. "What color can I coax out of you next?"

You’d roll your eyes, but the soft smile tugging at your lips betrayed your amusement. "Karlach, you know I can’t just change them on command."

But Karlach knew better. She knew your emotions controlled the shifting hues, and she loved that about you. It gave her an excuse to tease, to poke, to nudge you just enough to make those beautiful eyes shift from one color to the next.

"Yeah, but I love messing with you," she’d say with a wink, her fiery hand gently brushing over your cheek. "It’s like watching a storm roll in. All those beautiful colors swirling around in there."

You’d try to keep your face neutral, to keep your eyes from shifting too easily. But it was hard to stay neutral around Karlach. Her infectious energy, her passion for life, and her ability to make you feel like the center of her world—it all made your heart flutter every time.

And there it was. Bright pink, glowing like the deepest, most vivid shade of love and adoration.

Karlach’s grin grew wider, her eyes sparkling with triumph. "Ah-ha! There it is! Pink. I knew I could get that one out of you."

You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head. "You’re impossible, you know that?"

Karlach shrugged, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. Her lips were warm, like always, the heat radiating from her making you feel like you were wrapped in a living furnace of affection. "Maybe, but you love me for it," she whispered against your skin, the heat of her breath sending a shiver down your spine.

Your eyes flickered again—this time sky blue. The color of happiness.

Karlach leaned back, crossing her arms with a satisfied nod. "Sky blue. You're happy. I must be doing something right," she said with a proud smirk.

You raised an eyebrow, giving her a playful shove. "You’re enjoying this way too much."

"Of course I am!" she laughed, her voice full of joy. "I get to see exactly how I make you feel. It's like I'm reading your heart through your eyes. And right now, they’re telling me you’re all mine."

You bit your lip, trying to suppress the grin that wanted to break free. But Karlach’s eyes softened then, the playful gleam giving way to something more tender. She reached up, brushing a stray strand of hair from your face, her touch gentle despite the ever-present warmth that radiated from her skin.

"And that pink… it gets me every time, you know?" she murmured, her voice a little softer now, more serious. "The fact that you love me—really love me, after everything. It’s the best damn feeling in the world."

Your heart swelled, the pink deepening in your eyes until it was almost blindingly bright. Karlach’s gaze softened as she watched the color change, her rough exterior melting away into something pure and raw. She pulled you close, wrapping you in her arms, her chin resting on top of your head as she held you against her chest.

"I don’t deserve you," she whispered, her voice breaking just a little.

You pulled back slightly, just enough to look up at her, your eyes meeting hers. "Don’t say that. You deserve every bit of love I give you."

Karlach smiled then, a tear slipping down her cheek despite the fire that burned within her. "There’s that pink again. You're gonna spoil me with all that love, sweetheart."

The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a while, her arms wrapped around you, her heat enveloping you completely. Your eyes would shift every now and then—sky blue for happiness, bright pink for love, maybe even silver when you were completely content. And Karlach would chuckle every time, finding a quiet joy in the way your emotions played out in such vibrant hues.

But there were other times, too—moments when Karlach loved pushing your buttons just to see the fiery red of your irritation. Like when she’d sneak up behind you, wrap her arms around your waist, and whisper something cheeky in your ear, just to get a rise out of you.

"You’re such a brat," you’d mutter, your eyes flaring red.

And Karlach would laugh, that big, hearty laugh that made your chest feel warm.

"Come on, red suits you," she’d say, spinning you around to face her.

But the red would never last. Not with Karlach. Because in the end, she knew how to bring you back to pink. A soft kiss here, a tender word there, and soon enough, your eyes would shift back to the color she loved most.

And every time, Karlach would grin, pulling you close again. "See? I told you I’d get my pink back."

And you would always let her win because, deep down, you knew you didn’t mind indulging her. You loved her too much to ever deny her that joy.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Minthara:

You stood in front of Minthara, pacing back and forth as your frustration boiled over. The camp was tense, your hands balled into fists as you tried to put your thoughts together, to confront her about the reckless, violent thing she’d done earlier. It had been unnecessary—brutal, even. The memory of it twisted in your chest.

But Minthara? She stood there, her usual confident smirk playing on her lips, arms crossed as if she were more amused than anything. The fierceness in her expression, the sharpness of her eyes, didn’t match the casual stance she had taken, as if she wasn’t even remotely worried about your anger.

"Do you realize how reckless that was?" you snapped, your voice rising slightly, trying to make her see just how serious you were. "That was unnecessary, Minthara! We didn’t have to go that far. There was no reason to…"

Your voice trailed off as Minthara tilted her head, raising a brow. She stepped closer, looking at you with a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips, her eyes flickering over your face. And then, to your utter frustration, she started laughing—softly at first, but it grew as her gaze locked onto your eyes.

“Oh, darling," she cooed, her voice filled with teasing amusement. "You’re not really mad, are you? I can see it."

You blinked, feeling a sharp pang of disbelief, and then realized what she meant. Your eyes. They had shifted to pink—the unmistakable color of affection, of love. Despite everything you were feeling, despite the fury that should be coursing through you, your stupid, betraying eyes were glowing pink.

Minthara took a step closer, her fingers lightly grazing your arm.

“I can’t take your anger seriously, not when your eyes say otherwise,” she said, her voice low and teasing, her smirk widening.

That was it. The amusement, the dismissal in her tone—it snapped something in you. The pink in your eyes faded in an instant, replaced by a burning, fiery red as frustration overtook the affection you felt for her.

Your hand shot out, grabbing her by the collar of her armor, pulling her close until you were nearly nose to nose. Your eyes burned crimson, reflecting the raw anger you felt inside, your voice trembling with the effort to keep control.

“You think this is funny, Minthara?” you hissed, your grip tightening on her collar. “I am serious. This isn’t a game, not when you’re putting yourself and everyone else at risk.”

Minthara’s eyes widened slightly at the change in your tone, and the shift in your eyes didn’t go unnoticed. Her smirk faltered, her confidence shaken as she realized just how far she’d pushed you. She blinked, clearly taken aback by the sudden shift in you, the fire in your gaze making her tense.

“Oh, I see… I may have gone too far,” she muttered, her voice more careful now, no longer laced with that mocking edge. She reached up, gently placing her hand on yours, her eyes softening as she tried to pull you back, to calm the storm she had stirred in you. “Darling… I didn’t mean to upset you.”

You could hear the sincerity creeping into her voice, could see the way her expression changed as she realized she had actually crossed a line this time. Slowly, she began to lean in, her hand trailing up to your cheek as she tried to coax the red back to pink.

“Come on now,” Minthara purred, her voice softer, more soothing as she brushed her thumb across your jaw. “You know you can’t stay mad at me forever. Let’s get those pretty eyes back to the color I love.”

But you weren’t ready to forgive her just yet. You pulled back slightly, your red eyes still locked on hers, holding onto the anger that she had so carelessly dismissed before. “Minthara, you can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep pushing me, thinking I’ll just brush it off.”

She sighed softly, her smirk now completely gone, replaced by a look of genuine apology. Her hand lingered on your cheek, her touch warm and familiar.

“I know,” she whispered. “You’re right. I pushed you too far this time.”

Her fingers trailed up to your temple, brushing back a strand of hair as her lips hovered just inches from yours.

“But you know I’d never put you in danger,” she continued, her voice low, filled with a tenderness that made your chest ache. “You know I love you. And I’m sorry. Truly.”

Slowly, the red in your eyes began to fade. The anger, the frustration—it started to melt away under her touch, under the sincerity in her voice. Your grip on her collar loosened, and the crimson softened, replaced by a lighter, warmer shade. Pink, again.

Minthara noticed the shift immediately. A soft, triumphant smile crept onto her lips as she leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “There it is. My beautiful pink.”

You sighed, feeling the last of your anger slip away as you let go of her armor.

“You can’t keep playing with my emotions like this, Minthara,” you murmured, still frustrated but no longer consumed by it.

She chuckled softly, her forehead resting against yours now. “I know. And I’ll try not to. But you can’t blame me for loving the way your eyes change… it’s like watching your heart in real time.”

You rolled your eyes, but this time, it wasn’t out of anger. “You’re impossible, you know that? You are just lucky that you are pretty.”

Minthara grinned, her confidence slowly returning. She pressed another soft kiss to your lips, lingering just long enough to send warmth coursing through you. “ I’ll do better. I promise.”

You sighed, shaking your head slightly but leaning into the kiss all the same. "

You better," you muttered against her lips, though your eyes were already a warm, glowing pink once more.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Lae'zel:

The clang of steel echoed in the sparring ground as you and Lae'zel circled each other, your blades flashing in the early morning light. This was a regular routine—intense, focused, and always a little charged. You had a casual relationship with Lae'zel, a mutual understanding that there was nothing more between you than the occasional sparring match followed by some… recreational activity. Friends with benefits, nothing serious. At least, that was the agreement.

But today felt different.

Lae'zel moved with her usual precision and strength, a fierce grin on her face as she pushed you back with her relentless attacks. You parried and dodged, but she was overwhelming—too fast, too strong. Within moments, she had you on the ground, her knee pressing into your chest as she held her sword to your throat.

"Yield!" she growled, her voice rough with triumph.

You froze beneath her, panting for breath, feeling the weight of her victory as you stared up at her. And then it happened—your eyes glowed. Not the usual colors she was used to, like the vibrant yellow when you were on high alert or the angry red when she pushed you too far. No, this time, your eyes turned a bright, unmistakable pink.

Lae'zel narrowed her eyes, tilting her head in curiosity as she sheathed her sword. She released you, though her gaze lingered on your face, studying the glowing color in your eyes with intense focus.

"A new color?" she mused, her voice more curious than concerned. "Interesting. What does this signify?"

You quickly sat up, heart pounding in your chest, trying to avoid her gaze. She must think the pink in your eyes was a reflection of embarrassment or defeat. After all, she had just bested you in a sparring match. That must be it, right?

Before you could respond, Lae'zel offered her hand to help you up. Her touch was firm, but as her yellow eyes scanned your face, you could sense her suspicion.

"I have beaten you in combat many times," she said, her voice matter-of-fact. "I have never seen this color before. It must be some form of embarrassment at your defeat, yes?"

You swallowed hard, trying to keep your voice steady, but it came out as a stutter.

"Y-yeah, probably… something like that." You tried to dismiss yourself, suddenly feeling far too vulnerable under her scrutiny.

The pink in your eyes was a dead giveaway, and if Lae'zel figured out what it really meant, everything between you would change. You couldn’t let that happen.

“I need to… go clean up,” you muttered quickly, turning away before she could see the blush creeping up your neck. You stumbled off, practically fleeing from the training grounds before Lae'zel could press further.

Lae'zel stood there, watching you go with a perplexed frown. The pink had thrown her off. She was sure it had to be some form of weakness or self-doubt—after all, she'd defeated you, and in her mind, that must have affected your pride.

But to be certain, she decided to seek confirmation. Later that day, she made her way to Gale, who was lounging by the campfire, nose deep in a book. Lae'zel approached him with her usual directness, not bothering with small talk.

"Wizard," she began, making him look up in mild surprise. "I seek clarification on something."

Gale raised a brow, closing his book and giving her his full attention. "Of course, Lae'zel. What can I help you with?"

Lae'zel crossed her arms, her eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "The one who fights alongside us, whose eyes change color… When I bested them in combat earlier, their eyes turned pink. I believe it to be a sign of embarrassment or defeat. Does this align with what you know of their… condition?"

Gale blinked, then let out a soft laugh. He clearly hadn’t expected this question.

"Ah, so you’ve noticed the color changes as well," he mused, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "But I’m afraid you’ve misinterpreted that particular shade, my dear Lae'zel."

Her brow furrowed in confusion. "Misinterpreted?"

Gale chuckled again, shaking his head. "Yes, the color pink doesn’t signify embarrassment or defeat. Pink, in their case, is the color of love and admiration. When their eyes glow pink, it means they’re feeling deeply affectionate or… well, rather smitten, I’d say."

Lae'zel’s expression shifted, her confusion deepening.

"Love?" She said the word like it was foreign to her, her mind piecing things together. “Smitten?”

Gale nodded, still smiling. "Indeed. It seems your victory over them stirred something more tender than simple defeat."

Lae'zel stood there for a moment, the pieces finally clicking in her mind. The pink eyes. The stuttering. The hasty retreat. It wasn’t embarrassment—it was affection. Love. And it was directed at her.

For the first time, Lae'zel found herself at a loss for words. Without another word to Gale, she turned and walked away, her mind buzzing with this new revelation.

You were in your tent later that evening, still reeling from the day's events, when Lae'zel strode in, her presence as commanding as ever. She stood before you, her expression unreadable.

“I understand now,” she said, her voice steady but with a hint of something softer beneath. “The pink in your eyes… it was not weakness or defeat. It was affection.”

You froze, staring up at her with wide eyes, your heart racing as her gaze bore into you.

"I am not blind to this revelation," she continued, stepping closer until she was standing directly in front of you. “You admire me.”

Your cheeks flushed, and you opened your mouth to speak, but no words came out. Lae'zel reached out, gently taking your chin in her hand, tilting your head up to meet her gaze. “Is this true?”

There was no hiding it now. Your eyes shifted to that telltale pink again, glowing softly as you nodded. “Yes, it’s true.”

For a moment, Lae'zel’s usual hard edge softened, and she looked at you with something resembling understanding. “I see.”

She released your chin, stepping back slightly, though her eyes never left yours.

“This changes things,” she said, her voice still firm but lacking the usual harshness. "We will discuss this further… but know that I do not reject your admiration.”

You blinked in surprise, feeling the weight of her words sink in. She didn’t reject it. There was no disgust or dismissal in her tone. If anything, there was… curiosity.

Lae'zel turned to leave, pausing at the entrance of your tent. “And next time, do not hide it from me. I will not tolerate dishonesty.”

With that, she disappeared into the night, leaving you both shaken and strangely hopeful.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Shadowheart:

The campfire crackled gently in the background as Volo stood center stage, regaling the group with yet another one of his exaggerated tales. His voice, full of pomp and flair, carried across the camp as he gestured dramatically, describing a fantastical encounter with a 'ferocious dragon' that he, of course, had narrowly escaped with his life. You sat beside Shadowheart, doing your best to listen politely, but it was getting harder to maintain the façade.

Your eyes, which so often gave away your emotions, had turned a deep, unmistakable green—reflecting your growing disgust for the embellished story. Volo always had a way of stretching the truth, and while you tolerated him for his connections and the useful items he often brought to trade, you couldn't hide how much his stories irked you. It didn’t help that the dragon he described sounded more like a large, clumsy lizard than anything truly menacing.

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, forcing a smile, but Shadowheart noticed the flicker of green in your eyes almost immediately. She raised an eyebrow, clearly amused by your discomfort. Leaning over, she gave you a gentle nudge with her elbow.

“Get a grip,” she whispered, smirking at the way you were struggling to maintain your composure. You flustered under her gaze, your forced smile faltering.

"I can't," you muttered under your breath, your eyes still glowing a sickly green. "If I have to sit through one more of his absurd stories, I swear he's going to notice."

Shadowheart chuckled softly, clearly entertained by your struggle.

“He probably will,” she teased. “And you know how Volo loves attention. If he spots that disgust, he’ll just make the tale even grander.” She paused, her smirk deepening as a devious thought crossed her mind.

Without warning, Shadowheart leaned in closer, her breath warm against your ear. Her hand slid onto your thigh, fingers lightly tracing patterns, sending a shock of awareness up your spine. Your eyes widened as she whispered softly, her voice sultry and teasing.

"Why don’t you focus on something else, hmm?" Her fingers pressed a little harder, drawing slow, deliberate circles on your leg. “Think about later tonight… when I have you all to myself. How I’ll undress you, bit by bit. I’ll take my time with you, savoring every second...”

Your heart skipped a beat, as Shadowheart continued with ehr salacious problems, you never thought she was a cleric of any type with a mouth like that, - it was unholy. You felt a rush of heat bloom across your face. Your eyes, which had been stubbornly green moments ago, shifted instantly to a bright, glowing pink, the color of love and affection betraying your reaction to her words.

Shadowheart noticed the change immediately, and her smirk deepened as she kissed your cheek, her lips lingering just long enough to make your blush deepen.

“That’s better,” she whispered, her voice dripping with satisfaction. “Just keep thinking about that, and you’ll make it through Volo’s little show.”

You tried to stifle a grin, feeling a mix of flustered embarrassment and undeniable warmth spreading through you. Shadowheart's hand stayed on your thigh, her touch a constant reminder of what awaited you later. Every time Volo’s voice grew too dramatic, and your patience began to waver, you’d feel the pressure of her fingers and remember her words, pulling you back from the brink of annoyance.

The bright pink glow in your eyes stayed, much to Shadowheart’s amusement. She kept glancing at you, clearly pleased with her handiwork. Volo, ever the showman, seemed oblivious to the private exchange between you and Shadowheart, though you couldn’t help but wonder if anyone else in camp had noticed the shift in your eyes.

Eventually, Volo’s tale reached its dramatic conclusion, much to your relief. The camp clapped politely, and he gave a deep bow, soaking in the attention. You, on the other hand, were just glad it was over.

As the camp began to settle down for the evening, Shadowheart gave your thigh one last squeeze before standing up. She leaned down, her lips brushing against your ear one final time.

“Meet me at my tent,” she whispered, her voice low and filled with promise. “And I’ll make sure those eyes of yours stay pink all night.”

You blushed even harder, but this time you didn’t try to hide it. As Shadowheart walked away, you found yourself smiling despite everything, eager for what was to come.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Jaheira:

The battlefield around you was a whirlwind of chaos—clashing steel, magic crackling in the air, and the cries of wounded soldiers and beasts alike. But in the midst of it all, your eyes were focused on one person: Jaheira. She had taken a heavy blow, and though she fought with her usual strength and grace, you could tell she was hurt. The moment you saw her stagger, your heart clenched, and without a second thought, you sprinted toward her.

Your eyes, normally reflecting the calm or joy you felt, had shifted to a deep, dark blue, betraying the worry churning inside you. You skidded to your knees beside her, reaching out to check her wounds. Blood seeped through a cut on her side, not deep enough to be fatal, but enough to make your pulse quicken with fear.

Jaheira, ever composed even in the face of injury, looked up at you and smiled softly despite the pain.

“You worry too much,” she said, her voice tinged with both amusement and affection as she raised a hand to touch your cheek, fingers brushing the skin lightly. “Your eyes… they are remarkable. So full of life, of feeling.”

You frowned, glancing up briefly from her wound, your brow furrowed in concern.

“Jaheira, now is not the time for compliments,” you chided, your voice strained with worry. Your hands began to glow with the soft, healing light of a spell as you pressed them gently to her side. The warmth of your magic surged through her, knitting skin and muscle back together, but you couldn’t shake the tension that gripped your chest.

She let out a soft chuckle, wincing as she shifted slightly under your healing touch.

“Forgive me,” she said, her tone still teasing but laced with tenderness. “But I couldn’t resist. Your eyes tell me more than words ever could. I’ve never seen them like this—so blue, like the deep ocean.”

You huffed, your focus entirely on her wound as the magic continued to flow from your hands.

“That’s because I’m worried, Jaheira,” you said, your voice trembling ever so slightly. “You shouldn’t be pushing yourself like that. I could’ve lost you.”

Jaheira’s smile softened, and she reached up to tuck a stray lock of hair behind your ear, her eyes brimming with quiet affection.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she reassured you, her hand lingering at the side of your face as if to anchor you. “But your care… it humbles me. Few would look at me and see something worth worrying over.”

You paused, finally meeting her gaze, your hands still pressed to her side, the glow of your healing magic casting soft shadows across your faces.

“I do,” you whispered, the blue of your eyes flickering with a hint of something deeper. “I’ll always worry about you.”

Jaheira’s expression shifted from playful to something more serious, her gaze locking with yours.

“I don’t deserve such devotion,” she murmured, her fingers tracing the edge of your jawline gently. “But I am grateful for it.”

With the worst of her injuries mended, you finally exhaled a shaky breath, relief washing over you. The dark blue in your eyes began to fade, giving way to a more neutral shade as your heartbeat slowed.

“Don’t scare me like that again,” you muttered, still feeling the residual panic in your chest.

Jaheira let out a soft laugh, her eyes sparkling with affection despite the lingering pain.

“You’re far too serious for someone so beautiful,” she teased, her voice warm and soothing. “But I suppose I shall have to avoid getting injured for your sake.”

You shook your head, though a smile tugged at your lips.

“I’m serious because I care,” you said quietly, your hands now resting on her uninjured side, feeling her warmth beneath your fingertips. Jaheira’s gaze softened further as she reached up to cup your face, her thumb brushing over your cheek.

“And that’s why I adore you,” she whispered, her voice a quiet confession amidst the chaos of the battlefield.

Despite everything—the battle still raging around you, the danger that loomed—you felt your heart steady in that moment, grounded by her presence. You leaned into her touch, your eyes flickering between neutral and the faintest hint of pink, as the worry began to melt away.

“You’re impossible,” you murmured, though there was no heat behind your words, just affection.

“And yet you wouldn’t have me any other way,” Jaheira replied with a knowing smile, her voice filled with quiet confidence as she squeezed your hand.

With a final look at her to make sure she was truly okay, you helped her to her feet, your eyes back to their soft, neutral grey. But beneath it all, a faint pink glow lingered, a reflection of the deep affection you felt for her—a feeling that no amount of battle or danger could shake.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I had so much fun writing this !! Honestly you guys are so creative and that's what i love about opening up requests again. Hope you guys enjoyed it !! - Seluney xox

If you want to support me in other ways | Help keep this moonmaiden caffeinated x

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jackhues · 2 years ago

Text

ferrari?! - charles leclerc

request: hii I loved your wolff!reader x charles ig concept could you please write more of them<33

requested by: anon : )

notes: trying out some new things, hope you guys like it, and pls don't be silent readers!! thanks for requesting <3

join my f1 taglist!

part one

pictures are not mine!

y/nwolff

liked by scuderiaferrari, lucawolff, pierregasly & others

y/nwolff - charles has got dad's approval, ferrari on the other hand... also, luca's a pain, i don't recommend having older brothers. check out the full video on my youtube! tagged lucawolff

pierregasly: did you guys take him on vacation to tell him?? -> y/nwolff: we needed him to be a little bit happy. i had no idea how he was going to react

lucawolff: older brothers are goated -> y/nwolff: i'd like to return mine

y/nisqueen: the pinky promise 🥺 liked by y/nwolff

charles_leclerc: so am i allowed to be in his vision or will he destroy me on sight?? -> y/nwolff: you can be in his vision lmaoo -> charles_leclerc: really? -> lucawolff: don't listen to her, she's lying -> y/nwolff: go away luca! but just to be on the safe side charlie, you should probably be near me so that his (nonexistent) anger dies down -> charles_leclerc: this isn't boosting my confidence -> userone: charlie 🥺🥺

usertwo: this is the toto content we signed up for!

userthree: luca and y/n are the best siblings on this app, love them!!

userfour: bestie, when's the new music coming?? liked by y/nwolff -> y/nwolff: we'll see 🤭

conangray: why is this the funniest thing i've ever seen?? liked by y/nwolff -> oliviarodrigo: it's true, he hasn't stopped laughing for twenty minutes

f1newsandmore

liked by userone, usertwo, userthree & others

f1newsandmore: Toto Wolff and Charles Leclerc spotted before the race. After the video of Toto reacting to his daughter, Y/N Wolff, dating Charles Leclerc, we're all dying to know just exactly what this conversation was about. tagged charles_leclerc, y/nwolff

userone: toto explaining to charles that he's not good enough for y/n while he's with ferrari -> usertwo: and charles zoning out the second he heard y/n's name liked by charles_leclerc

userthree: i'm so invested in this entire thing -> userfour: aren't we all??

y/nwolff

liked by mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton, oliviarodrigo & others

y/nwolff: dad, i promise i'm still a mercedes girl 📷 : charles_leclerc 🤍

lucawolff: says she's a mercedes girl, tags a ferrari boy -> y/nwolff: if you took the pictures like i asked, you'd get the creds

charles_leclerc: the ferrari bracelet is saying otherwise -> y/nwolff: charles!! shh!! -> userone: LMAO! y/n's fighting for her life and charles out here exposing her

lewishamilton: mercedes >> ferrari -> y/nwolff: LOUDER FOR THE PPL IN THE BACK!

landonorris: mclaren >>> -> y/nwolff: boo 👎👎

y/nisqueen: YOU LOOK STUNNING! liked by y/nwolff -> y/nwolff: mwah 🥰

y/nwolff has posted on their story!

caption: 🤍

charles_leclerc

liked by lucawolff, conangrey, pierregasly & others

charles_leclerc: date night! (with toto's approval) tagged y/nwolff

y/nwolff: can't believe you didn't post the vid of me throwing you in the water -> charles_leclerc: i need to at least try and look cool on social media love -> userone: no one cares if you look cool! we wanna see the vid! liked by y/nwolff -> y/nwolff: don't worry, i gotchu -> charles_leclerc: i'm concerned -> lucawolff: no one told you to vote yes when she asked if she should make a yt channel -> charles_leclerc: y/n literally told me to -> lucawolff: this is where being a simp gets you -> y/nwolff: get out of my bf's comments or i'll post the vids from your last bday party -> userone: I LOVE THIS!

lucawolff: is no one gonna ask for my approval??! -> y/nwolff: no -> lucawolff: rude -> charles_leclerc: you literally covered for us for months, the approval had been given -> lucawolff: oh yeah -> usertwo: lmaoo luca tryna start shit but it didn't work!

userthree: time to pack my bags and sleep on the highway

userfour: they're so cute!

userfive: god, when will it be my turn?? 😭😭

part one

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changelingsandothernonsense · 2 months ago

Note

The people need to know where Josh would and wouldn't jerk it

Hello!!! I'm dying for a Josh attitude laugh so without further ado, Joshi's Top Ten Best and Worst places to jork it in Skyrim Province. If this does well then he might write a list about Morrowind and or Cyrodiil. Under a cut for being very NSFT

The Best of the Worst!

10. Best My room at Severin Manor.

Yeah, obvious I know! But you tell me that your house isn't probably the best place to jerk it without worry... I just gotta remember to lock the damn door... or not. Fuck um... Ah...I guess this would also go for my room at the Netch. I do remember to lock that door. I have some standards!

10. Worst The Gray Quarter

Why I don't fucking want to jerk it here? One, it's fucking freezing, which is already a turn-off. Two, it's a fucking slum where the walls are made of paper and everyone in the whole district can hear you. Do you hear that Malthyr?! I can fucking hear you!!! You're not that fucking appealing! I'm soft now! 9. Best The counter top of Sadri's Used Wares

Yes I know it's fucking crass, but who're you talking to? It's fucking funny to look my now wife's ex in the eye after I've done it too an he has no fucking idea! Yeah fuck you too dude, clean-up on isle seven. I am a jealous, petty mer but I am atleast aware of it. 9. Worst Morthal

It's a vampire infected swamp! Who the fuck decided to build a town in a cold, wet marsh!? I want their number, I got words for 'em an I'm not gonna be pleasant. Like I'm minding my business in whatever excuse for an inn they have there an this chick just sits herself on my lap like I was asking for it. Corruption sees corruption you know- she knew what I was an I her. Flaccid for a good few days after that near miss so there was no opportunity to jerk off anyway. You know how fucking hard it is to get clean yourself in water taken from a swamp? Give Morthal a skip unless you're into swamp vampires. 8. Best When in Riften

Sydari drags me to Riften fairly often to check on "business". Said "business" is in a secret hidey hole in the sewer an naturally I'm not allowed down in the super secret hideout. That's fine- it's fine! Anyway I get her house to myself a lot of the time (unless her ex husband has decided to ruin my day). Honeyside has it all, a lake I can swim in, a bath, a workshop I can tinker in... Look I may have chosen specifically to come in Brand-Shei's bathrobe after he broke my nose out of spite an I don't apologise for doing it. Fucking heir to House Telvanni? Bastard wouldn't even qualify to lick the guar shit from Neloth's shoe! Um...what was I talking about? Oh right-

8. Worst The Thieve's Hidey Hole

The cistern smells exactly like you'd think it does. Think about how Riften smells like stagnant canal fish water and stale piss. Now turn that up to ten an you have the fucking Cistern! No I'm not meant to be down there an yes I did follow Sydari down there once when I was bored. The guild can have it. I'm not jerking it here. It stinks! 7. Best A Jarl's Throne

This is more a fetish of mine idk I just think it's fucking funny to break into a throne room, rub one out on the great big chair an fucking leave without anyone noticing. Ultimate power move in the face of a self-congratulatory bastard who got that seat through an accident of birth. Taking them down a peg turns me the fuck on an I'm not gonna apologise for it! No I haven't jerked off on Ulfric's throne yet but that stupid fuck in Falkreath had a fun morning! 7. Worst The sulphur flats of Eastmarch

If it's not Hircine worshiping witches with a goat head fetish then it's dragons or wolves or Stormcloaks. It smells like the ass end of Red Mountain (also not a recommended place to jerk off). Look, there was one time ol' Sanguine got in touch with me whilst I was with my girlfriend an we kinda ended up in a weird marriage pact with a hagraven. It's not sexy I can assure you. There's just a fuck tonne of beasties that could ruin your me-time. It's just not worth your time. Also there's a group of Ashlanders that follow Ulath-Pal that have set up camp there an they kinda want the head of the Urshilaku Ashkhan...and I like my neck the way it is. Having said that.

6. Best The Eldergleam Sanctuary.

But TELDRRYYNNN you whine! That's a place of worship! You complain. Hey! Hey! Who are you talking to? I do not give a fuck! Look Sydari an I camped there an we had a huge fight over me being me. I left an found me a secluded little corner by a waterfall. Had a pretty rainbow and everything. I was actually relaxed for once an things just kinda went that way. It's a nice place to get yourself off... Spriggans not withstanding. Do not tell the Dragonborn that I'm the reason for everyone in that sanctuary being chased out by angry Spriggans, kay? No I haven't learnt anything from this an I'd do it again simply because of the above-mentioned thing about how defiling a place of power getting me off.

6. Worst Candlehearth Hall

I'm not allowed in here. None of us Dunmer are allowed in here! It's in Windhelm so I'm not really inclined to stick about yeah? Like sure I could ruin something but the atmosphere here just makes me painfully soft so... I'll piss in that cunt's stew though! 5. Best Any Temple of Talos

Because of the irony. BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING IRONY! 5. Worst. Bandit Camps

The temptation's there, I get it. You've cleared out a camp full of second rate idiots and you've pilfered their treasures. You're fucking tired an maybe you found their drug stash...usually you've found their drug stash an you're all prepped to pass out after blowing your load in the chief's bed. Take a second to think because I sure as fuck didn't an now I got another scar on my ass!

That was some real post-nut clarity right there! 4. Best Markarth's Dwemer Museum

Look the whole reason Calcelmo an that fetching nephew of his even have a museum is because of my research. The guy had my favourite sword an dagger in a case which like I appreciate the Crescent was in good hands an all but like also they're mine. It's all mine...I have a possession problem I guess. No I haven't rubbed one out here yet but fuck...my mind is so fucking warped! Like I would! I want to. FUCK!

4. Worst Wolfskull Cave

A cave near Solitude, seemingly inconspicuous and you might be tempted to take some time to yourself, yeah? Guess again. First thing you're gonna notice about this cave is that it smells like rot. That's your first sign it's probably not a great place to whip your dick out. Secondly you're gonna find the place is crawling with undead and fucking necromancers! Look, I'm not the best around anything dead an walkin. I avoid burials like the plague. I'm fucking terrified of it! I spent the whole time trying not to lose my cool in there. I spent all night trying not to freak the fuck out. Last thing I was doing was playing with myself.

Oh look, top three! I'm surprised you've made it this far in my guide to jerking it across Skyrim. I guess I should throw in some special mentions, DO jerk off as close to the Thalmor Embassy as you can. It's hot to make those stiffs angry and I know they wish they could taste me. DO NOT jerk off in the Blue Palace coz you will get caught and they will put you in a dungeon. Don't go in their dungeon I'm serious! Also don't try both in one night because you're drunk and lonely. It doesn't end well. Anyway... 3. Best The beach near Nchardak

I have a small camp set up on the beach near the ruins. Spent a fuck tonne of time there when I was "working" with Neloth on the puzzle locks there. It's where I used to go when I'd had enough of Neloth's bullshit. So naturally I've found myself cranking one out after a long day of researching. There's something oddly romantic about it. The sound of the Sea of Ghosts lapping at the ash covered sand, the beauty of the aurora overhead an no one to fucking bother me! I ah...I don't like bedclothes so the solitude lets me relax and just take care of shit. 3. Worst Tel Mithryn

Do you know how unsexy a giant fucking mushroom is? Why do you think most Telvanni Wizards are older than Vivec's left nut? No one wants to fuck in mushroom stink! It's like I'm smelling dirt an that's bothering the fuck out of me as I'm tugging an it's just ruining my mood! That an I think Neloth jush knows when I'm doing it and sends his dumb fuck apprentice over to offer me Canis Root Tea.

You can see how this is a problem right? It's fucking torture! Why do you think I just set up a yurt on the beach? My poor dick hurt!

2. Best Blackreach

Yes, there's Falmer an Animunculi an wisps an all that but I think you are well aware of how much I feel at ease over things that are pretty. Blackreach has everything that makes me happy. Dwemer ruins, things for me to belt the shit out of, clean water, GLOW. You stop me from whipping it out here? 2. Worst High Hrothgar

You know, I was tossing up between this an like the top of the mountain coz both have the same problems. One, it's colder than anything I can describe. Even inside the building there's fucking frost! You can light all the fires you want and the place is still fucking freezing! I gotta wear actual underwear when I'm here on top of all the other layers I gotta wear just to not feel like I'm about to die of hypothermia! Do you know how much I hate wearing underwear? Do you know how fucking uncomfortable thermal underclothes are? Even if I wanted to rub out a quick one, an believe me I have on multiple occasions, I'd have to fish my cock out from all the layers an he's hiding something fierce! Then you've got all those stuffy old men who haven't gotten off since I was still mortal watching me like they know my dick still works. Mothballs, old man stink, cold, dark walls with ice coating the door. I mean I can and have fucked here, I'm pretty sure this is where my daughter was conceived so like that's saving it from the number one spot. It's just I'd rather be anywhere else! 1. Best Sky Haven Temple

I hate the Blades. I hate what they represent. I hate that they still think they can boss around people in the name of an Empire that died long ago. I hate how they speak to my now wife an I hate that they expect me to lead them given my old position in the organisation. One- I have never wanted anything to do with the Blades. My membership was part of my prision sentence. Two- I killed my superiour out of revenge for my Corprus infection an I have zero regrets about it. They still think I owe them something. I don't! So why is it at the top of my list? Well, I'm fucking the Dragonborn aren't I? No one's gonna kick me out without her following me. Look I knew it would end with us leaving but I just could not help myself. It's the whole throne room thing again. I legitimatly get off on this shit! An fuck me was this one of the best solo nuts of my life! I don't care if Delphine has to clean the War Room. That's my territory now! 1. Worst Apocrypha

The question of "Can you jerk off in Oblivion?" isn't one that comes up often... unless you're me of course. I've done a good ninety year stint in Revelry. It's possible if the relm's set up for pleasure. Mora's house? That guy's missing his section on erotica. Yeah I know there's something to be said for all the oily tenticles if you're into that kinda thing. I'm not. I'm really not into it. You'd think I would be, given my love of knowlage an all that but FUCK! I've never felt so sick in my life! No, I have but that's not important. Why you don't want to jerk off in Hermaeus Mora's house? Simple. It smells like fish and rotting books! I'm not a guy who'll fuck just anywhere an that also goes for fucking myself. The place is disorientatiting at the best of times, the floor moves under your feel an there's strange Daedra behind every corner. I got taken by Sydari's predecessor whom I accedently released whilst I was looking for her an yeah...kinda got stuck there for gods know how long! I was mad at the end of it, took me far too long to recover after I'd been pulled out of there. I missed my daughter's first steps, her first words. It was a fucking nightmare the likes that only the Sharmat would conceive- no, no Voryn actually tried to get me off so... Look, you don't want to even set foot in Libraryland, let alone whip your dick out and rub one out whilst you're lost there. Unless you're partual to having it morph into one of those tenticle things before your eyes. Unless you're into that kinda thing, I ain't judging.

I am judging...

Anyway that's it um...Why was I talking about this again?

#asks #Jerking World Tour #Joshi's Top Ten Best and Worst places to jork it in Skyrim Province #danger!josh #nerevarine #tesblr #nsft

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mirrorball-leclerc · 11 months ago

Text

snow angel - track two

series masterlist // previous // next

2 YEARS AGO

i'll fucking fight him. i swear it.

no honey, you don't have to.

i saw this coming.

how on earth could you see this coming?

he was distant.

i've told him i loved him for days and he always responded me "me too" or worse he said nothing back

oh sweetie

how did you put up with that? you deserve so much better.

it's okay. i'm moving out of our apartment tonight. ryan said i can stay with him for a few weeks.

i love him lily. i don’t know when those feelings will go away. i hope they go away soon. i can’t keep loving someone who hurt me this bad.

i promise you i’ll fight him when i see him in bahrain next season.

i hope he dnfs

i hope you write a fucking day destroying album because of this. he will never know peace

oh lily, i'm going to ruin his fucking life with whatever i come with.

lily muni he removed lando norris

lily muni he fuck that guy

charles leclerc i do not understand what happened? george russell you're telling me the chronically online guy doesn't know what just happened? alex albon the grid's #1 gossip girl doesn't know what happened? charles leclerc NO I DON'T KNOW THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING CONNARDS!

pierre gasly lando cheated on rhea

max verstappen i can crash into him in bahrain next season?

yuki tsunoda i will bite his ankles. lily muni he i'll poison his food yuki tsunoda we will not go that far. food is sacred.

esteban ocon does this mean that **** can finally **** ***?

lance stroll how about you shut the fuck up esteban? max verstappen what the fuck are you two going on about now? lance stroll ignore esteban. he's a bit delirious.

daniel ricciardo i promise to make his life miserable next year.

rhea reynolds i'm just pissed that he was too much of a coward to end our relationship before he went on to publicly cheat on me.

rhea reynolds at least try to not get caught.

charles leclerc what is it the kids say? he fumbled?

lance stroll please never use that phrase again

pierre gasly she's probably crying to taylor swift now

rhea reynolds LET ME BE PEAR GASLY! daniel ricciardo yeah, pierre let the girl be emotional! rhea reynolds if i'm crying to all too well that's nobody's business but mine

charles leclerc you can come to bahrain with me!

max verstappen or me! daniel ricciardo you're both thinking too small. show up with me. can't promise i'll have a good race or win but it'll show him!

rhea reynolds thanks guys but i'm not really up to going to races anytime soon.

lily muni he never let a man take anything from you. GO TO THE RACE!

rhea reynolds nah, not really up for it right now but i could change my mind in a few months. it's literally december!

charles leclerc i will save a spot for you regardless.

yukitsunoda it's okay, i can bite his ankles if he comes near you.

rhea reynolds i appreciate the sentiment yuki

rhea reynolds besides, i'll never date another fucking driver again.

rheareynolds posted new stories

nothing better than taylor swift to help with heartbreak who needs men when cats are much better company?

liked by lilymhe, charles_leclerc, mickschumacher and others

rheareynolds home for the holidays update: i adopted a cat, i got cheated on (i should stick to dating women), and goats hate ryan. p.s. the first picture is what i sent to max when he made fun of me for getting cheated on.

tagged: vancityreynolds

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maxverstappen33 THAT’S NOT TRUE AND YOU KNOW IT!

↳ rheareynolds you told me and i quote, “that’s what you get for dating a guy who looks like a walking orange.”

↳ maxverstappen33 i called him ernie and then a walking orange. get it right.

lilymhe my offer still stands

↳ yukitsunoda0511 mine too! i can bite ankles!

↳ rheareynolds thanks guys but i'd rather not have to bail you out of jail for assault.

user01 so did they break up? or what? the chismosa in me needs to know

user02 it's okay rhea, he didn't deserve you

user03 fuck men, am i right?

comment liked by rheareynolds

vancityreynolds you're lying to everyone blake made those cinnamon rolls, not you.

↳ rheareynolds must you ruin everything?

↳ vancityreynolds it's my job as your older brother.

georgerussell63 why get an orange cat when he's a walking orange?

↳ alex_albon because rhea is the embodiment of an orange cat

↳ rheareynolds it's true. i've been told many times

user04 love to see that loser's friends are on her side. how are you going to publicly cheat on your girlfriend?

↳ user05 but did he cheat? what if they were broken up?

↳ user06 either you can't read (no offense) or you didn't read the caption, she literally says, "i got cheated on" they were very much together. stop trying to invalidate her pain because you love l*ndo

user07 it's okay baby, you can date me instead

↳ rheareynolds thanks for the offer babes but i should stick to being single for a while ❤️

↳ user07 i'm screaming!

user08 rhea's better than me fr. i would've destroyed his car carrie underwood style.

maxfretwell going to miss your cookies. that's the worst part about all of this

↳ rheareynolds yeah cause fuck my heartbreak right?

↳ maxfretwell that's not what i meant and you know it!

↳ rheareynolds can't wait to see the gossip pages say max fretwell says rhea reynolds' heartbreak is not validated

↳ maxfretwell i take it all back this is why he cheated on you

↳ rheareynolds TOO SOON FRETWELL!

↳ user09 curse n*rris for taking this duo away from us!

taglist: @emilyval @ihateyougunthersteiner @lesliiieeeee @firetruckstuckley @cashtons-wife @landonorizzz @yoremins

strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

CLICK HERE TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST

¡leclerc-s speaks! i was listening to say don't go while write the first half of this. hence, the reference to the song.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

#leclerc-s #snow angel series #f1 instagram au #f1 x oc #f1 oc #f1 smau #f1 social media au #f1 #formula one #f1 fic #formula 1 fic #f1 x female oc #lando norris x female oc #mick schumacher x female oc

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