#and recreating old tiktok trends
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delphinidin4 · 25 days ago
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Here's something I have learned from aging in our society (and I'm only in my 30s!):
People don't Get Like That because they're old. We slowly begin to get left behind by technological innovations and societal changes because things seem to change faster and faster as you get older, and you're not hanging out with young people enough anymore to be changing along with them, and why tf would I want to replace my tape deck I've had for 20 years that still plays my entire collection of tapes? I don't CARE that you have a new CD player, that would require me to completely replace my collection of cassette tapes and I simply can't be bothered, even if you think it's annoying to rewind tapes when you're done with them. No, I don't know anything about YouTube, because I am still capable of amusing myself by sitting quietly and knitting and I don't need a million screens. I've been doing it since I was your age, so why would I stop now? It's a combination of being content with what you've got and not keeping up with the trends, partly because you just DO NOT CARE.
When I was young, I could NOT figure out how my grandparents lived without a VCR. Now I'm trying to figure out how to explain to younger people that not only do I not HAVE the tiktok app, I don't WANT the tiktok app, and have no USE for the tiktok app. I see stuff about tiktok trends, and instead of feeling left out, I feel amused, and then grateful that I'm not being pulled hither and yon by fleeting trends anymore.
As you age, your relationship to time changes DRAMATICALLY. And since fashions and trends are all about eras, your relationship to those changes, too.
ALL THIS TO SAY:
If I was a vampire and had lived THAT MANY CENTURIES and had had my relationship to time changed THAT MUCH, I would probably be out here in 2024 listening to my favorite music on wax-cylinder phonographs and mourning the loss of the silent film. I would have embraced more advanced playback technology only when my favorite pre-code Hollywood films were now available for viewing again (I would be so excited about that). I would still think that the pigeon-breast silhouette was sexy. I would've gotten into big band music because of a person I was dating in the 1940s who was really into it, and I would roll my eyes every time somebody called it "oldies". I would refuse to believe that the 1980s were already 40 years ago, that 40 years was at ALL a long time, or that things from the 80s could POSSIBY be called "vintage". I would not recognize the names of basically ANY popular actors or singers since the 1950s, and I'd be pretty spotty with my knowledge of those. Because honestly, the 1700s WASN'T that long ago if I can still remember it so clearly, and why TF would I want to change all my music over to a new technology AGAIN, since they only stay in use for like 20 years? You said CDs were going to be the recording medium of the future! Look at them now!!!!
suggestion: vampire characters who actually act their age
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dnfcliparchive · 16 days ago
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dream: here let me recreate our conversation since you guys didn’t hear it
dream: I said “this is a tiktok trend” and then george went “yeah there was a tiktok trend that happened and I don’t know anything about it. it was like two weeks old and now we’re streaming it now” and then sapnap went “AUGHHHHH” and then gia went “hahaha☺️”
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gaykarstaagforever · 4 months ago
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Well if I'm going to use stupidass TikTok, I should find out what all the weird baby straights and soon-to-be-divorced tradwives are up to over there.
Today we learn about the "Clean Girl Aesthetic".
Near as I can tell, it basically means not looking or dressing like some kind of dumpster clown.
And there's a fascination with pleated slacks or shorts and exposed belly buttons.
Doubtless this is mimicking some lady all these people have seen on their TVs. Taylor Swift? Another lady? Who can say? Not me, because Taylor Swift is the only lady I know of.
I'm old enough to remember the predecessor of this style as a kind of late 80s / early 90s Yacht Club thing that was popular with movie bullies and other people no one liked. I'm sure it has a History of Fashion name but I'm not looking it up, because Google already doesn't know who the hell I am or what the hell to sell me. I know it was very polo-shirt heavy back then. Big pockets. Beiges and greys and muted colors, probably because the POOR PEOPLE were all dressing like dumpster clowns:
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But I looked up the Clean Girl thing to see exactly what probably-AI says it is:
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...So it is literally about not being dirty? Isn't all fashion, inherently? Was there a trend that was wearing filth recently? Filthcore? Dumpster clown?
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Well yeah, the midriff thing. But again, isn't all fashion inherently fatphobic? That's still bad, but kind of a universal in the world of people being dicks to other people about how everyone looks. The TRUE SOUL of fashion.
And that's not a new thing. Or is the Clean Girl thing especially virulently anti-fatty? Like to be a Clean Girl, you have to drive at least one fat person to contemplate suicide a month?
I mean that's awful, but TikTok is a lot of teenagers with stupid hair. I wouldn't put this past them. They're horrible little idiots. Look at their hair!
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...Wait so you guys are doing "brown = dirty"? In 2024? What Gulf Coast cave did you people crawl out of after a 150-year Rip Van Winkle nap? The War Between the States is over, and your side lost. How did you figure out TikTok so fast, displaced temporal stranger?
Can't we all just shut up and wear pants?
As for the stealing thing, white people have been stealing and recreating the things they stole from POCs, then excluding them from those versions of those things, for as long as there have been white people.
It's bad, but as it is our primary cultural trait, we're certainly never going to stop.
Especially not those hibernating cave people. They probably still think "the Curse of Ham" is a justifiable legal defense.
This is what Clean Girl looks like, in case you too want to dress like someone whose dad mismanages a major streaming platform:
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(I don't know who this model is. The picture is from a half-broken aggregator website in Foreign.)
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yup-thats-me · 7 months ago
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''stay with me, I don't want you to leave'' — G. Satoru
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pairing: Gojo Satoru x fem!reader
summary: Gojo wants to recreate this cute trend with his cute girlfriend
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Gojo barged into the room, totally disregarding his girlfriend who was silently enjoying her book with a cup of coffee. By this time, Y/n was accustomed to her lover’s antiques.
“What is it now, Gojo?” She sighed, putting the book down.
With a cheeky grin, Gojo handed her a brand-new lipstick that he just got from Dior on his way back from Jujutsu Tech. Taking it back, Y/n looked at him questioningly.
“…Thank you…?”
“…”
“Are you not happy? Is the color not to your liking?” Gojo pouted childishly making Y/n giggle. “It's not that, you big baby,” she smiled pecking his lips. “But what’s the occasion?”
It was nothing new for her lover to buy her gifts, considering how much Gojo loved to spoil the people he loved. But this was too sudden— they were not going on a date, and nor was it her birthday, so this must be one of his ploys to do something mischievous—typical Gojo.
“Put it on and kiss me.”
Y/n blinked at her lover a few times. “You want me to kiss you with this on?”
Gojo nodded his head furiously. Giving in, she opened the cap, and with the help of Gojo who held up his phone to help her apply the cosmetic correctly, she kissed him on the cheek.
Thinking it was the end, she attempted to wipe it off with a tissue before Gojo stopped her.
“Again!”
A smile played on Y/n’s lips. “You want me to kiss you again? With the lipstick?”
Gojo again shook his head, This went on for a couple of minutes — she would apply the lipstick, kiss Gojo, apply it, and kiss him. This was getting a little troubling. Don’t get her wrong though. Y/n loves to kiss her boyfriend but she would like to know why this sudden obsession of kissing came over her darling babe.
Before Gojo asked her to kiss him again, Y/n stopped putting the lipstick down. “Babe, I love to kiss you but your face is literally covered in them—” She cut herself off when the realization finally hit her. “Don’t tell me you were recreating that lipstick trend from tiktok?”
Gojo shyly hid his face with his hands while giggling like a two-year-old. His actions made Y/n burst out laughing. Her boyfriend can really be a kid sometimes,
“You could have asked me to do it instead of making this such a suspense, you dummy!”
“But I wanted it to be a surprise”, Gojo finally said and pointed it to the camera he had hidden (don’t ask me how or when) After Y/n calmed down from her giggling hysteria, she spoke. “Do you want me to recreate it properly, this time?”
“You would?’’ Gojo’s bright blue eyes held a light in them.
“Why not? I can’t possibly deny my boyfriend of such an adorable request, now can I?”
It was Gojo’s time to kiss Y/n on the lips.
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do not steal, repost or translate any of my works. all belongs to yup-thats-me on tumblr
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a-hermit-pining · 7 months ago
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Sukuna as a House Husband
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Genre: Fluff Pairing: House husband Sukuna x Reader AN: Might be OOC but humor me people. Coming up Geto as househusband 🥰
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First few months of Sukuna's career as a househusband are nothing less than accidents that involved smoke alarms and questionable fire extinguisher techniques. The transition from malevolent kitchen to a less lethal one takes quite a minute.
From handing you Lunchables to becoming pinterest core this man takes quite a journey.
Everyday chores that start with ill concealed annoyance and were in the past pointedly pushed on to you are taken over the minute he notices the residues of shared lunch from another in your lunchbox.
How dare you accept someone else's food? The entire evening, Sukuna glared at the takeout pizza with enough intensity to melt the cheese. You swear the pepperoni visibly cowered under his icy gaze.
And the revelation that some random Joe- Shmoe, a pathetic nameless mortal, had lent you his lunch is enough incentive for this man get in action.
This old man has lived his share of luxury as the king of curses. So, the minute he decides to flex his culinary skills your lunches take an immediate promotion.
The obsolete cooking technique no one can replicate...? You bet he's pulling that.
Puts Uraume on the speed dial as the trials of kitchen begin for him. This time, though much to both their disappointment limited to animal meat.
Does not take long before both become grocery shopping buddies for life. Sukuna scowling at unfamiliar vegetables while Uraume patiently explains the difference between shallots and scallions to his Lord.
Weekends take a turn for the… interesting as you become their resident TikTok handler, phone propped precariously on the counter while they attempt to recreate the latest viral trends. Fruit Roll ice cream remains mind blowingly top tier in your household. Getting a reaction even from Uraume.
Sukuna preens under the praise at office potlucks, basking in the envious stares directed at your lunchbox. Every "wow" and "that looks amazing" fuels his ego.
But the real win? Insanely proud when he sees you take pictures of the lunches he makes and even more so when you show him the stories you post on the internet (save his old soul).
Deep into his retirement phase of immortality, Sukuna discovers the joy of aesthetic. This man takes one look at dark academia, gothic Victorian mood boards and not your living room looks like a lair worthy of a final boss villain (which, to be fair, it kind of already was)..
Super into thrifting or picking a random haunted piece of furniture to add character to your living space as he insists, despite your very real concerns about the wailing coming from the armchair at 3 am.
Still a baddie tho. Will get into fights with loud neighbors or bachelor pad finance bros when their trash isn't sorted properly. And it, unfortunately is your responsibility to drag this man back home.
Cleaning is where he draws the line. You will not spot Sukuna with a duster. Ever. So, hiring a cleaning service seemed like a brilliant solution. Except, Sukuna couldn't resist micromanaging their every move. The poor cleaning staff — a battle-hardened group of professionals — withered under his endless critiques on porcelain dusting techniques. Needless to say, generous tips were the only reason they continued to show up.
The King of Curses, a being who once feasted in halls of obsidian and dined on delicacies fit for gods. Yet, the peace and ownership of your little townhouse is sweeter than any other possession of past. His dirty little heart is endeared to his home with you.
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cupofmiko · 2 years ago
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LOVELY TO BE HERE (WITH YOU) - midoriya izuku x f!reader 
with midoriya izuku, some things have always been easy. other things, however, have not.
genre: a strangers to lovers to exes to lovers au, pro hero au | angst, fluff
warnings: aged up characters (you and Izuku go through your 20s during this fic), a right person wrong time fic, hurt/comfort, happy ending, Izuku is taller than you, insecurity, talks of a boss/employee relationship (nothing happens during that time), making out, some smut (fem!recieving oral, mating press, slight dom!Izuku?? some dumbification… not actually sure I’m just putting it in the warning just in case, use of “pretty girl” and “good girl”), mentions of an outside natural disaster, arguments, you and Izuku gets a little Mean during the argument, Bakugou and Kirishima are your Helpful Friends and Good Bosses, some recreational alcohol consumption at a party
word count: 22k 
a/n: vaguely inspired by that tiktok trend with the “ceilings” by lizzy mcalpine audio… if you know you know. this is so behind the trend lol it ended up so much longer than i thought it would be so a lot of this hasn’t been thoroughly read through i am sorry lol 
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You are twenty-two years old when you get the email - an offer letter that confirms your acceptance for an entry level office assistant position at Deku’s agency. And for someone like you who is in the final year of university and has been looking for a job to get a head start on your career, this is a very exciting opportunity. 
Not only is it a foot in the door for the hero industry, a very popular and competitive industry for any young college student, but it is with Deku. The hero from UA, the one who has been destined for the top since he was a teenager. 
According to the hiring manager, Deku is officially returning back to Japan after spending his first few years post-UA abroad in different countries. Different contract work with hero agencies worldwide. But now, with several years of experience under his belt, Deku has decided to return back home and start up his own agency. 
It’s intended to start as a small agency, the hiring manager had explained to you, a small but multi-talented team who can take on different responsibilities. And you, young and enthusiastic, played up your retail experience and the tutoring jobs you took on during those earlier college years. 
Clearly, you talked yourself up well because now you stand in front of Deku’s agency - a moderately sized building whose simplicity is reflected in the warm earth tones inside. Something in your gut tells you that this is the first page of a brand new chapter. 
The beginning of your first day is slow and typical of any first day experience. You remeet the hiring manager who introduces you to your boss and your responsibilities, which will mainly involve managing the front desk and answering the phone and making appointments for Deku. It is a little overwhelming, but you mask that incoming anxiety with a determination to do well. 
Your afternoon is spent filling out information for email accounts, taxes, and pay. The phone rings a few times, and your boss lets you know what to do based on the different phone calls. For a top hero agency, it’s surprisingly normal. 
So normal, that you almost forget who you’re working for until he walks through the front door of the agency. 
You look up and immediately feel your breath catch in your throat because holy fuck, it’s Deku walking towards you. It’s very strange to see the boy you’ve only watched through a laptop screen stand opposite of you. He’s much taller than you thought. His suit is more detailed, his hair more fluffy, his muscles more defined in person. It’s strange, seeing someone the same age as you hold so much power and confidence in a single stance. But his gaze is open, kind, and curious when he looks at you. 
“Hi there!” he greets cheerfully, approaching your desk. “You must be the new office assistant! I heard you were starting today - welcome!! It’s nice to meet you!! Are you adjusting well?” 
You blink, feeling like your brain is lagging behind to process the fact that pro hero Deku is even talking to you. Then, you realize that he has asked you a question. You close your mouth (one that you hadn’t even realized you opened) and try to string together a sentence. “O-oh, thank you! And I’m doing well… thank you, Deku.” You test out the hero name. It sounds so strange saying it out loud. 
Deku laughs, a shy almost unexpected sound that makes something flutter in your chest. “I’m glad to hear that! And call me Midoriya. I’m glad to have you on the team!” His eyes flicker down, taking in the new lanyard you’ve received - it was part of your welcome package that is meant to hold your employee ID. “I can see you’ve already decorated your lanyard! I like your pin.”
Now you’re surprised for a multitude of reasons. Not only did he speak words to you, he’s actually continuing that conversation by noticing something you never expected a boss to notice. And he’s being sweet, warm, and welcoming. 
You look down at your lanyard, bewildered as if you’ve never been a lanyard before, and see the pin you’ve haphazardly attached to the fabric. Glimmering on the metal is a character from your favorite movie - Howl from Howl’s Moving Castle. “Oh, t-thank you!” you manage, feeling warm, partly with embarrassment of having to explain a private interest, and partly because Deku actually looks genuinely curious in what you’re talking about. “He’s from this movie I really like. Howl’s Moving Castle?” 
Deku ponders for a second. “Oh! Studio Ghibli right? I’ve never seen that one, but my friends introduced me to Spirited Away and I really enjoyed that one!” 
“That’s a good one too,” you reply, losing enough nerves to actually feel your lips curve up into a small smile. Deku traces the movement quickly with his eyes. “That one and Howl’s Moving Castle are probably some of my favorites.” 
He nods approvingly. “I’ll have to ask my friend to show that one to me someday.” He gets distracted momentarily by his phone, picking it up and frowning. “Ah, sorry, I have a meeting to get to,” he explains, putting the phone back down. “But it was really nice meeting you.” 
Your smile grows a little, your head bowing a little to see him off. “It was nice meeting you too. Midoriya.” 
He mirrors your smile, likely proud that you’re calling him Midoriya, before he walks towards the main office floor. 
The phone rings before your gaze can linger for too long. 
A full month goes by before you accept it. You have a crush on pro hero Deku. 
To be fair, it’s hard not to have a crush on Midoriya. He’s just so open and sweet, thoughtful and considerate - a little shy, but reassuring enough to make you feel safe with just one smile. 
Honestly? It’s a little infuriating. After all, Midoriya is… well, he’s pro hero Deku!! He’ll help old grandmothers cross the street and save a truck from falling off a bridge and then tackle a villain the size of a building all within the same day. He carries so much greatness, so much power, yet so many expectations on just one pair of shoulders. You see it on the news, in the meetings you have to schedule for him. Everyone wants a piece of him. 
It’s harder now since he’s just starting up as a pro hero in Japan. There are things he must do, cases he must solve, and people he needs to save in order to climb that ladder and establish himself. 
But still, despite himself, he stops by your desk every day. Either at the beginning of your shift or towards the end. He’s always had a busy day - you can tell as much because you help manage some of his appointments. Yet he never shows his exhaustion. He comes by, same bright smile, always asking about your day and chipping away at your apprehension. 
It gets to the point where you’re comfortable enough finally sharing some interests with Deku rather than brush it off every time he tries to ask. You talk about the movies you like, the music you listen to, the dinner you cooked last night. Deku (Midoriya, you remind yourself time and time again) is always attentive. 
So, again, how could you not have a crush on Midoriya? 
And, to be fair, he doesn’t do much to quell that crush or fan the growing flames of affection you have for him. When he finds out that you really like that boba place thirty minutes away from the office, he starts bringing you a cup once a week. You try not to overthink the fact that he knows your exact boba order- down to the percentage of sugar you prefer. Or when he finds out you really like that Thai restaurant around the corner and starts bringing you your favorite when he knows you forgot to pack a lunch. 
It’s sweet. Midoriya is sweet, dangerously so. Considering you often only see him drop off food and drinks for you, it makes you wonder if… perhaps, he feels the same way. 
But a small, reasonable voice in your mind reminds you of a very important consideration: Deku was your boss. More than that, he was your boss’ boss. The big boss, if you will. There’s no way he could feel the same way, just from a moral standpoint. And even if you weren’t overthinking anything - a boss dating his employee? The scandals just write themselves. 
It’s another two months before you learn to leave your feelings on the backburner and write it off as nothing more than a puppy dog crush. Lots of people probably have a crush on Midoriya, you think bitterly, it doesn’t make you special and it definitely doesn’t warrant a crush back. 
Besides, you continue to think, Midoriya could have anyone he wanted in the country. In the world. There’s no way he’d settle with a measly secretary. He’s just doing these things because he’s a genuinely nice person - and it’s just convenient for him to make sure you’re eating proper meals and drinking proper (as proper as boba can be you suppose) drinks. 
It is officially four months that you’ve been working for Deku’s agency when you stay late for the first time. You’ve started taking on more responsibilities that take the form of helping organize paperwork and writing up data analytical reports for Deku and his small group of sidekicks. 
On the one hand, more work is great because it means your boss trusts you enough to handle important tasks. But on the other hand, it is stressful. Your perfectionist tendencies are not lost on you as you spend some extra time ensuring that a report is thoroughly. That means that by the time you are done, it is considerably later than your normal departure time. 
Your boss and other colleagues must have left during your autopilot drive to get everything done because the office is mostly empty by the time your brain catches up to the outside world. The exceptions are the janitor taking out the trash and the night shift sidekicks who are either getting ready for a nighttime patrol or are currently sitting at their desks. They say their goodbyes as you pack up to leave for the night, coat on and everything, before you head towards the building entrance. 
Only to find that it is pouring rain outside. 
You stop short, taking in the rain pittering and pattering onto the sidewalk and the roar of rainfall filling your ears. Normally, you don’t mind rain. But the fall is too heavy to walk through unscathed - a fate that looks inevitable for you considering you forgot your umbrella. 
You’re in the middle of wringing your hands together, debating whether or not you should just go for it, before you feel the agency doors open behind you. Then, a familiar voice calling your name. 
It’s Midoriya, looking bewildered at the sight of you. “What are you still doing here?” 
You blink back, equally as surprised. Last you had checked, Midoriya should have been long gone by now. “What are you doing here?” you quip back. 
“Well, I, uh, had to approve some of the reports my sidekicks wrote up before sending them to the police,” he explains, scratching at his hair. “But late nights are normal for me. I’ve never seen you work late before.” 
His inquisitive look leaves you warm with embarrassment. “I-I just wanted to make sure those data analytical reports were perfect before sending them for approval.” 
Midoriya ponders you for a moment, but he ends up smiling. “I appreciate you working so hard. I hope you’re planning to go home. Or at least planning to eat something.” 
You smile back sheepishly. “Guilty. I’m gonna go home- I have groceries that need to be cooked.” 
“Can I walk you to the station?” he offers, flashing his All Might umbrella towards you. 
You laugh. “Cute umbrella. And sure, that would be nice Midoriya.” 
He watches you for a moment. “Do you have an umbrella?”
“Oh!” you laugh again nervously. “No, I forgot mine at home. But it’s okay.”
Midoriya looks momentarily troubled at your predicament, but he smiles easily enough. “It’s okay! Here. We’ll share mine.” He opens up the umbrella and holds it over both of you. 
You still and immediately turn warm at the thought of sharing an umbrella with Midoriya. It seems too intimate of a situation to be in, all things considered. “O-Oh, don’t worry about me.” 
“How could I not?” he retorts, surprising you by wrapping an arm around your shoulder to bring you close. Though hesitate, your arms encircle his midriff. For the umbrella, you tell yourself, as you gaze up at Midoriya. He’s staring back down at you, gaze unreadable. 
A moment of doubt fills you. Was this too much? Self-conscious, you loosen your grip around him. But Midoriya tightens his hold, making you stop. 
“You okay?” he asks, voice soft. 
You manage to nod your head. Totally okay, more than okay. “Peachy,” you say, allowing him to lead you down the sidewalk towards the station. All the while, you do your best to ignore how romantic the gesture looks to people on the outside. 
You reach the station within a ten minute walk, all while bunched up together like any other normal couple. Midoriya insists on making sure you’re underneath a solid roof before removing the umbrella. Untangling yourself from Midoriya feels like the real world has resettled itself on your shoulders. 
So you take a breath, readjusting your backpack. “Thank you for walking me, boss.” 
He grins sheepishly. “No worries. I just have to make sure my employee gets home safe.” 
He’s trying to play along, but it feels a little like this cold wave of reality has just washed over you. You just try to manage with your best smile. “And some people have the nerve to say you’d be a terrifying boss.” 
Midoriya laughs. “You’re right. They should be saying I’m downright jolly.” 
That makes you laugh. “What are you, Santa Claus??” 
Another short round of laughter, before you pull yourself together enough to stop and look at him. He’s looking back at you, that crinkle of laughter in his eyes - which doesn’t mean anything. It means nothing at all. 
You look away first, fidgeting with the straps of your backpack. “I should go. Thanks again Midoriya.” 
You still don’t look at him as he replies. “You’re welcome,” he says. 
Without another word, you walk away. 
Your ten month anniversary at Deku’s agency is around Christmas time, where the nearby shopping districts get taken over by holiday lights and festive trees of red and green. The weather gets colder, the days get shorter, and the work gets harder. Especially when most of your assignments consist of summarizing the events of the year. There are a lot of days where you are just trying to gather information. 
It’s busy enough that you almost forget about the agency holiday party, scheduled just two days before Christmas. You only remember because your marketing specialist friend (Karly) volunteers you to help with decorations. 
For The Most Wonderful Time of Year, it is rather stressful to make orders for the tree, the wreaths, the lights, and the Santa’s that are scattered throughout the office. 
The day comes fast. Two days before Christmas, Deku’s agency is filled with laughter and chatter. Per the rules of the night, everyone is dawning their ugliest Christmas sweater and are currently partaking in the borderline alarming amount of alcohol that was brought. After all, the white elephant gifts have been exchanged, the toasts have been made - all that’s left to do is drink. 
You’re no exception, as you have now found your way outside onto the balcony with a cocktail in your hand and a warmth in your cheeks. Being outside is nice considering how hot your body feels right now. You close your eyes as a nice breeze brushes against you. 
That is how Midoriya finds you. “There you are!” he exclaims, closing the sliding door behind him as he steps forward to join you. “Been looking for you.” 
You turn around to face him, eyes wide. He was… looking for you? “What for? Did you need something?” 
He stops next to you. “No, no, nothing serious. I just wanted to say you did a good job with the party.” He grins, cheeks also a little rosy from drinking. “Everyone seems to be having a good time!” 
You smile. “I’m glad. I would never have thought planning a party would be so stressful. But a part of me is glad I got to be in charge of it.” You glance at him, feeling unusually bold. It must be the alcohol. “Otherwise I would never get to see the great Deku in his Christmas sweater.” 
True to your words, Midoriya is dawning an All Might Christmas sweater - the brightest shades of blue, yellow, and red that you’ve ever seen. It’s cute. Horrifyingly so. 
Midoriya does a little pose that makes you laugh. “I mean, you could have seen this anytime. You just needed to ask.” 
The remark makes you still because was he implying he wanted to discuss his interests with you? 
The internal struggle leaves you a little winded, unsure how to respond to such a statement. “Is… is that so?” you reply softly. “B-But,” you stammer awkwardly. “I’m sure there are other people you could discuss your All Might collection with?” 
Midoriya hums softly, resuming his position next to you against the balcony. “Like who?” 
You shrug, trying to play it off casually. “I don’t know. Your girlfriend?” 
He laughs gently at that. “Who is this girlfriend you speak of? She doesn’t exist here.” 
Despite his behavior, it is a little surprising hearing that Deku doesn’t have a girlfriend. Especially considering that he looks the way he does and has literally been called Japan’s Sweetheart on numerous occasions. 
You don’t feel too nervous at being called out like this. It definitely has to be because of the alcohol. “W-Well, I just figured. Someone who looks the way you do should have no problem finding someone.” 
“Your confidence in me might be misplaced,” Midoriya returns. He turns to you. “Would you believe me if I told you that I have relationship problems too?”
“You? Having problems with women?” you joke. “Enlighten me then.” 
He takes in a small breath. “Well,” he starts shyly. “Hypothetically, there’s someone that I’m interested in. Someone who I would think is smart, funny… and pretty.” There’s a weight in his words that settles heavily on your heart. “But… the problem, scientifically speaking, is that us being together would be inappropriate. I would never want this person to think I’m taking advantage of my position to manipulate them. And even if we were able to go out, I don’t want this person to be viewed negatively. I don’t want people to think she has been doing well or that she even got a job because of my personal feelings. After all…” he gaze drops to your lips for a moment. Your stomach clenches a little. “This person is a really hard worker. And I would never want to take that away from them.” 
You wet your lips. “That does sound like a predicament, Mr. Deku.” 
He smiles, albeit a little sadly. “I suppose…” he starts. “That if this situation was real, it could definitely be seen like that.” 
You nod. “Right. Hypotheticals.” You take in a breath. “I guess you and I aren’t so different.” 
He glances at you. “Relationship problems?” 
You shrug. “Hypothetically, I could have problems.” 
Midoriya laughs, playing along. “Right. Of course.” 
“Let’s just say,” you start slowly. The alcohol buzz is starting to wear off. But you’re already neck-deep into this interaction and it’s too late to back off. “There’s this guy. He makes me laugh, looks out for me, and has never made me feel insecure. He’s patient, smart, and thoughtful - someone that I really admire, and someone I like a lot. The problem, hypothetically, would be that there’s a gap between us. Not an age gap or anything crazy but more just… the kind of gap where us dating would make him look bad. And he’s a good guy, who doesn’t deserve that kind of speculation.”
You dare to spare a glance at Midoriya for the first time since you started talking. He’s looking at you like it’s his first time seeing you - eyes wide and lips parted. But there’s some uncertainty in his eyes. Like he doesn’t want to jump to conclusions on who you’re talking about. You understand that. After all, his own situation could describe anyone. 
But he turns towards you with eyes open and vulnerable. And you are rooted to your spot, helpless to do nothing but watch him watch you. You watch as he steps closer, feel as he reaches out to grab at the bottom hem of your Christmas sweater and thumbs at the material. As if he is giving you permission to turn away. 
When you don’t, his fingers snake upwards to touch your hips. “It seems,” he breathes out softly. “We’re both a little stupid, aren’t we?” 
You exhale as his hands settle. You feel warm with something decidedly non-alcoholic. “So stupid…” You want to just close your eyes, lose yourself in Midoriya as you’ve wanted to do for the past few months. 
But. 
Your hands find him, your fingers curling around his wrist. It takes a lot of (obvious) effort to pull him away. “Wait,” you whisper. “W-We just talked about how this isn’t right. And I don’t want you getting in trouble for this.”
His eyes search yours, but he squeezes your waist once before relinquishing the grip. “You’re right,” he returns, smiling a little. “There’s a lot of alcohol at this party. Makes me do things I shouldn’t. I’m sorry.” 
You shake your head. “You don’t need to say sorry. Only if you don’t mean it and you don’t really like me.” 
His eyes have not left your face. “I do mean it. I do like you, a lot. I’m just sorry that it has to be like this. If things were different…” 
“I know,” you whisper. “But I… care about you. And I don’t want people to think you’re the kind of guy who’ll date an employee. Especially since you’re back and trying to establish yourself as a pro-hero here.” 
Midoriya laughs, but it’s not meant to be a humorous noise. He reaches out, thumbing your cheek one last time as if to commit the gesture to memory before he pulls away. “I don’t want us to pretend like this conversation never happened, but I hope that we can still be… friends.” 
Despite the unexpected turn of events (at a Christmas party of all places), you warm slightly at all how well he’s taking it. Not that you expected him to take it badly. And that, above all, he considers you a friend. “Of course,” you reply. “That’s what I want too.” 
The pair of you stare for another long moment before someone is sliding open the glass door of the agency that leads to the balcony. It’s Karly, calling out your name. 
You and Izuku look away, the moment gone. “I’m out here, Karly.” 
Said marketing specialist appears from the shadows, cheeks bright red from rose much like everyone else. But she stops short when she notices the two of you. “Oh! I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?” 
“No,” Midoriya cuts in quickly. He’s not looking at either of you. “We’ve finished our discussion.” 
Deciding to leave him alone, you nod towards Karly. “Well, some people are asking about the cake…” 
“Oh!” you exclaim. “That’s right. I know where it is.” You turn towards Deku. “Will you be okay?” 
You mean it in two different ways. Deku looks at you like he knows what you mean. “Yes, I’ll be fine.” 
You make your way back into the party, refusing to think about what happens next. 
.
What happens is a quiet next few months. Midoriya becomes busy with joint patrols, an onslaught of photoshoots, and general paperwork. He still comes by your desk when he happens to be around when you are around, but the interactions are safe and surface level. It is a warped version of what you and Midoriya would call friendly conversations. 
While you miss the deeper conversations, you’re also guilty of not bringing up anything that could bring you back to that night. The fear of uncertainty gnaws at you, afraid of what could happen if you were to cross that threshold with Midoriya. 
Like you, Midoriya is also good at maintaining that friendly facade. He thanks you for your hard work on your one-year anniversary, allowing your boss to take you out for dinner. He signs a company congratulations card when you graduate from university and officially become a working adult.
And you’re thankful that he’s willing to… move on, you suppose? Perhaps avoid is a better word. It’s hard to smile and laugh with Midoriya when you’ve spent the better part of your employment at Deku’s agency wanting more. 
Despite those things, that isn’t the reason why you’re here now. “Here” being the corner coffee shop on a random Saturday, laptop open with a whole listing of hiring hero agencies displayed. Some of the reason is that awkward limbo with Deku, yes, but most of it has to do with the desire for a full-time job. Working part-time at Deku’s agency had been more of a necessity than a want, considering you had to work around a full-time student schedule. 
But with graduation under your belt, full-time has become an option. While the hiring manager at the agency has been open to the conversation of offering you that full-time position, this feels like a rare moment of opportunity to branch out. 
Besides, you think absently, there are a lot of good agencies hiring. 
Quietly, you apply to a few of them, wondering if your experience at Deku’s agency and all the hats you had to wear as a result of working at essentially an agency start-up could impress some of these bigger agencies. 
As it turns out, it does. Because over the next month, you garner the attention of Riot Ground. Again, quietly, you interview a few times before they offer you a position - one that will include working at a cubicle rather than a front desk and definitely involves a higher level of responsibility with a higher pay that you would be dumb to reject. 
Your direct boss is supportive of the decision, understanding that this type of industry exploration is what you want for the next chapter of your career. It’s a chance, she says, you need to take. Additionally, she accepts your two week notice. 
Telling Midoriya had been something you’ve wanted to avoid since Riot Ground offered you the position. In fact, it’s very possible that he already knows what is going on. It’s no secret that the Riot Ground agency and Deku agency are close - the leading heroes have known each other since high school. 
But you decide to just assume that Midoriya doesn’t know what’s going on as you knock on Deku’s office door, taking in a breath when he tells you to come in. He’s finishing up some paperwork as you open the door, definitely looking appalled by your appearance. You hardly ever visit him, especially not since the Christmas party. 
“Hey,” he breathes, closing his laptop. “Is everything okay?” 
You smile a little, trying to stay professional. “Yes! Everything is good. I just thought I should let you know something that’s coming up.” 
He frowns, but nods slowly. “Okay,” he says, a little confused. “What’s up?” 
“Well,” you start. “As you know, since I graduated I’ve been thinking about getting into a full-time position. I don’t know any kind of end goal for myself, but I want the opportunity to grow my experience however. And wherever. So… I just thought that I should let you know that Riot Ground offered me a position. And I accepted. I start in a month, but I already submitted my two weeks.” 
Midoriya is quiet for a moment, processing the ultimate conclusion to your words. Then, he laughs a little. Softly. “Kacchan… I mean, Bakugou told me that they had just hired someone from my agency. When he spoke about the new hire’s interview, I could tell he was impressed and excited to have that kind of person on his team. I just had a feeling that it was you.” He stands up, rounding the desk to lean against the front. “I’m really happy for you.” 
You smile, relieved. Although you should have known to expect nothing less from Deku. “Thank you, Midoriya.” 
But he does smile back, sighing a little. “I will say that I’m going to miss having you around. Getting to talk to you and see you at the end of a hard day always made things easier for me.” 
Your heart picks up a little. You hadn’t expected him to use that kind of line on you. “I-I mean,” you stammer. “It’s not like I’m going off the grid. The agency is just a subway ride away. A-And, I’m still going to be in the industry. So we’ll see each other around at events and such… Besides, we’re friends.” 
Friends. A delicate word to reflect on a delicate subject. And it shows in Midoriya’s eyes, watching you carefully. His eyes look you up and down, before he gives a half-smile. It looks like he has so much to say. But he eventually settles with, “Of course. We are friends.” 
A long pause follows. The pair of you take each other in, until the sound of footsteps pass by Deku’s office and it brings you back to reality. You look away first. “I just… I thought I would let you know. As a courtesy.” 
He nods. “I-I appreciate that. And I really am happy for you. Kacchan and Kirishima are good heroes, and they are good bosses too. I expect great things will happen with you on board.” 
You laugh. “Midoriya, you are speaking way too highly of me. It’s just an entry level position, The amount of influence I’ll have is probably second to none.” 
He shrugs. “So what? I believe in my friends - and I believe in you.” After a moment he clears his throat. “When is your last day?” 
“About a week and a half from now,” you reply. 
He nods slowly. “Got it. Well, thanks for letting me know.” 
You leave work that night a little unsettled, wondering if you’ve made the right decision in telling Midoriya. 
The last week and a half of your employment at Deku’s agency is quiet. Midoriya gets pulled into a job on the other side of the country, meaning he doesn’t get to see you on your last day. You tell yourself that it’s normal that a big boss wouldn’t mind one of his part-time interns leaving and try to make peace with it. 
Midoriya is right about Bakugou and Kirishima. Despite being a little rough around the edges, Bakugou is polite and engaging. Naturally, Kirishima is warm and welcoming. Ground Zero is definitely a bigger agency compared to Deku’s up and coming roots - but the two heroes still take the time to greet you. 
It isn’t long before you’re taking on your own assignments - but your team is nice and supportive and Kirishima even tells you that the recent report you handed in was good. 
Two weeks after you start working at Riot Ground, Bakugou’s Vogue Japan article gets released and you are immediately pulled last minute into the afterparty preparations that Riot Ground is holding to celebrate. You’re more of a background shadow to provide support, but you are still invited to the party. Kirishima says you can think of your attendance as a rite of passage for your employment - one that you intend to take full advantage of. 
The afterparty is hosted at the top floor of this insane skyscraper in the city center - surrounded by lights and music and drinking. You spend most of the early night with coworkers, those in the same department as you as you all talk and laugh and make sure that things are going smoothly. 
This sense of ease is probably how you’re able to notice him before he notices you. 
Your stomach drops when you see Midoriya, someone who you hadn’t seen since that last conversation in his office. He’s at the bar, talking to some girl with a surprising amount of engagement and focus that you stare. 
You cannot help the sickly feeling weighing at the pit of your stomach - because you cannot remember the last time Midoriya talked to you like that. Actually, you can. It was before the Christmas party. Before you engaged in that game of hypotheticals with him. You’ve never regretted the way the exchange went down. But you have regretted the aftermath - the halted conversations, the surface level charades. Midoriya had said he liked you back, sure, but perhaps he only did nice things for you because he wanted something? And surely once he realized he was never going to get anywhere with you - he just gave up, didn’t he? 
That’s stupid, you think to yourself, because Midoriya isn’t like that. He’s sweet and earnest. He doesn’t seem like the kind of person to just throw them aside when they are no longer of use. 
But, the other side of you whispers, things haven’t been the same since that night at the Christmas party. Perhaps it’s not out of left field for you to be doubtful. 
Across the way, Midoriya catches your eye and gives you a smile. You wave back half-heartedly. 
He tilts his head, giving you a look you hate that you can read. Is everything okay? 
You just give a shrug, turning back to your coworker before he could respond. 
You assume it’s the end of that conversation with Midoriya. In fact, the next time you (subconsciously) try looking for him, he isn’t at the bar anymore but on the dance floor with Uravity and Shouto. You disappear into an empty hallway that leads to the elevators, sipping the drink (water) you’ve gotten and try to ignore that vague feeling of relief upon realizing that girl was nowhere to be seen. 
You turn back to your water, perhaps waiting for it to drown you or give you answers to questions you are too afraid to ask. 
That is, until a figure slides up next to you. At first, you think it’s some stranger coming up to bother you. But it’s Midoriya. 
“You look lonely,” he comments. Despite the loud music coming from the main room just a few feet down, the hallway is insulated enough where you can hear him properly. 
You glance at him. “What do you mean? I’m peachy-keen.” 
He frowns, the first crack in his wall. “You know, people who say they are peachy-keen are usually the opposite of that. I just can’t help but notice that you’re here by yourself, and you’re drinking water.” 
“I’m on the clock,” you reply. 
Midoriya looks around for a moment, before turning to face you fully. “Is everything okay? Nobody’s bothering you, are they?” 
You look at him this time. “It’s fine, Midoriya.” You jerk your head out towards the main room. “Why don’t you go reunite with your girlfriend or something?” 
Midoriya blinks. “Girlfriend? What are you talking about?” 
Your eyes narrow into a glare. “Don’t try to play dumb with me, Deku. I know that you saw me looking. She’s cute. Thanks for letting me know about that, by the way.” 
“Oh, just like you told me that you were looking for a new job?” Deku bites back. Another crack in his game of pretend. He also seems annoyed you’ve addressed him by his hero name. “She’s not my girlfriend. She’s Uraraka’s manager and has been her manager since we graduated high school. We’re friends - just like I thought you and me were friends.” 
You push yourself off the wall at that. “We are friends,” you protest hotly, defensive, not even sure if you believe your own words. “It’s just…” 
“Just what?” Midoriya snaps, that friendly facade gone now. “Just the fact that I thought things would go back to normal after that night, only to get blindsided?” He runs a hand through his curls. “Listen, I was and am really happy for you that you got a great job with Kacchan and Eijiro. I just wish you told me you were planning to leave. That’s what friends do.” 
“Well, why does it matter?” you retort. “A boss shouldn’t care too much if a lowly part-time intern decides to pursue a different agency for a different opportunity - !” 
“But you weren’t just a lowly part-time intern!” he says loudly, then lowers his voice. His admittance echoes in your mind, making you run warm. Midoriya watches you carefully, as if waiting for you to dismiss him. When you don’t, he takes a step closer, rounding on you so that your back is against the hallway wall. “To me, it wasn’t like that. At first, it was. But I grew to really like you as more than just someone I saw at work everyday. I liked you a lot.”
You narrow your eyes at him, refusing to back down, remembering your doubts just a few moments prior. “Why does that matter now anyways? You clearly have more fun with that manager anyways.” 
He groans, stepping closer, hands settling on your waist to push you against the wall. “What is this about? It seems like we’re mad about two separate things.” 
You huff, trying to look away from him. “I’m not mad.” 
He rolls his eyes. “Baby, your glare could cut glass. I can be single-minded sometimes. But I’m not stupid.” 
You hate to admit it. But the pet name softens you up a bit. Enough that you turn your gaze back to Midoriya. “I was just frustrated okay?” you shoot back. “I was under the impression that we would stay friends too. But you were so distant after I told you I was leaving. You didn’t even say goodbye to me on my last day at the agency. I know you were away but… it still hurt me. And then I come to this party and see you for the first time in a month talking to some other girl. Not just talking - talking excitedly and happily. I just couldn’t help but overthink about why you enjoyed your time with her more than time with me.” 
His eyes flicker between your eyes, but he relaxes after a moment. “I always enjoy my time with you,” he explains softly. “But I’m sorry. I should have spoken up when I noticed we were playing this game of just pretending to be alright. I think the thought of confrontation made me more nervous. And I’m sorry for not being there for your last day.” 
You sigh. Perhaps hearing his apology is just what you’ve needed after all this time. “No. I’m sorry. It takes two people to have a conversation, and I was also not reaching out to communicate my frustration. I guess… perhaps, a part of me wanted to know what would happen with us. And if…” you trail off.
Midoriya raises an eyebrow. “If…” he coaxes, leaning in. When you don’t say anything, he smiles. “If I still like you?” 
You pout. “You have no tact, do you know that?” 
“I think the proper phrase is ‘relief knowing I can now openly communicate with the girl I’ve been crazy about for months’.” He pauses. “Unless you’re more of a show don’t tell kind of person?”
He’s teasing you. “I don’t know,” you finally manage, feeling warm all over. “What would showing me look like?” 
At your question, Midoriya smiles again. Less of a teasing smile, more of a soft and understanding curve that makes your heart race. Your anger is completely forgotten as one of his hands gently takes your chin. “Probably something like this…” 
He leans in. You close your eyes, heart thumping out of your chest - because was this really going to happen? Right here? Right now? And to think you were so mad at him just an hour ago… 
A call of your name. “Oi, I know you’re out here - oh. Fuck.” 
Midoriya pulls away, his grip on your chin and your waist gone as if both of you are ripped back to reality. You jolt, eyes flashing open and turning towards the source of the noise. Bakugou stands at the entrance of the hallway, lips parted and eyes wide and looking uncharacteristically startled. 
“Kacchan!” Midoriya exclaims, glancing at you before glancing back at your boss. “We were just… This wasn’t a spur of the moment thing…” 
Bakugou tsks, recovering quickly as he raises a hand up to stop Deku from spiraling into a flurry of conversation and tangents. “I didn’t ask, nerd. I just need my employee’s help with something.” 
You try to recover as well, ignoring your racing heart as you turn towards Bakugou. “O-Of course, what do you need?” 
You step away from Midoriya, but he catches your wrist in his hand before you can go too far. 
“Hey,” he says, stepping up next to you, not speaking until you’re looking at him. “Don’t be a stranger. If I promise to call, promise you’ll pick up.” 
You cannot help but just smile and nod. “Okay,” you return. “I promise.” 
He beams, and releases the hold he has on your wrist. You walk up to Bakugou, allowing him to lead you back into the loud dancefloor. 
“Bakugou!” you call out, feeling the need to fill the silence between the two of you despite the music and laughter around you. “Midoriya is nice! And I really like him!” 
Bakugou grunts, whirling around to face you. “Shut up!” he retorts. “I know. The stupid nerd hasn’t shut the fuck up about you since he found out I hired you. So I don’t think you need to worry. He likes you a lot too.” He pauses. “Now can you please help Eijiro set up the champagne fountain?” 
You grin for more than just the champagne foundation. You shoot your boss a thumbs-up before making your way back into the main party, definitely feeling better than when you first stepped in here. 
True to his promise, Midoriya calls. And to your promise, you answer. It doesn’t take long for the pair of you to resume the same ease of connection that developed when you first met. Partly because you have all this history together, but also because the feelings have been put out there. The calls and texts continue without the worry of crossing past a boss/employee relationship. 
Having Midoriya in your life like this is different. There’s still a bridge to cross with him, but there’s a different openness about this compared to pretending not to be so into him. 
Now he knows how much you like him. And you’re waiting for him to take the next steps. 
But, again, it’s a line neither of you cross for the next few months. Midoriya is busy with work, and so are you. Ground Zero keeps you on your toes with increased responsibilities and solo projects that are stressful yet accomplishing. Yet, every “good job” thrown your way feels like a different badge of honor that heightens your confidence. It feels like some of the things you’ve wanted for your life (a stable career with responsibilities you enjoy doing and coworkers you actually like spending time with) are starting to come together. 
Although yes, you are in a predicament with Deku, you refuse to let that damper your attitude about your overall life trajectory. Things will happen when they are able to happen. 
It’s a thought that comforts you. For the next few months following the Riot Ground party, you maintain a limbo with Midoriya. Until there is a pounding on your door at three in the morning. 
You start awake at the noise echoing through your apartment, heart pounding and eyes suddenly alert. What time is it? The digital BT21 Koya clock on your nightstand reads 3:02 AM. Who is it? No idea. A handful of college students live in this apartment building, so it isn’t unusual to hear knocks at this hour. They’re usually short; this one is not. 
The persistence of it drags you out of bed and towards the door. Is it the smartest way to go about this situation? No. It could be a villain with super hearing, waiting for you to make a noise!! Or perhaps people pretending to be maintenance just so they can break in? 
God, you definitely need to stop scrolling through Tiktok. 
You sigh, tiptoeing to the peephole on your door. You’re expecting drunk college kids, or people you’re supposed to ignore. 
What you see, however, is neither of those things. It’s Deku, slumped against the wall, looking uncharacteristically tired and out-of-breath. Brows furrowing and eyes widening, you open the door with more force than necessary. “Midoriya!” you exclaim, lowering your voice towards the tail-end when you remember that it is three in the morning. “A-Are you okay? What happened?” 
Midoriya looks over at you. His face is bruised slightly and you don’t even want to know what kind of injuries he’s hiding underneath the suit. What happened? When he texted you earlier than evening, he looked and sounded perfectly fine. His eyes rake over you from head to toe, before he sighs. “Oh good. You’re okay.” 
You stare, trying to mentally decipher his words but find that you have no idea what he’s talking about. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?” 
He closes his eyes, taking in a deep breath before he pushes himself off the doorframe. Quietly, he leans into your space and slowly cups your face with his hands. Midoriya follows the curve of your face carefully, committing each detail to memory.
Clearly approaching the situation normally isn’t getting into his head. He’s too shaken by what he has seen. So you stare up at him, trying to catch his gaze. “Izuku…?” you try. 
That catches his attention. He shifts to look back at you. He sighs, pressing his forehead against yours. “It’s okay. I’m okay. It’s just…” 
“Do you want to come inside?” you offer gently. 
Midoriya nods, allowing you to pull him inside the apartment. You make it to the living room, where he drops himself unceremoniously onto your couch. Despite his disheveled appearance, he is watching you carefully and looking more alert than before. 
You look back at him, continuing to assess his condition. What happened to him? Did he need to see a doctor? You try to echo one of those thoughts. “Are you okay, Midoriya?” 
He blinks. “I liked it…” he starts. 
You move to sit on the couch. “You liked it?” 
“You called me Izuku,” he clarifies. “I want you to keep calling me that.” 
You sigh, eyes slanting into more of a frown than the wide-eyed concern from before. “Are you drunk?” 
He looks away, rubbing at his face. “No, I’m not.” 
“Well, do I have to drive you to the hospital?” 
“No, I’m fine.” 
“I’d have to disagree. A Midoriya… I mean Izuku,” you correct when Midoriya gives you a look. “An Izuku who is normal wouldn’t come barging in at three in the morning looking like he’s just seen hell.” 
He doesn’t say anything to that, which worries you more. Well, if he doesn’t want to go to the hospital and he’s not drunk, you turn to the next best solution. 
You move to get off of the couch. “Let me get you some water.” 
“Wait.” His hand catches your wrist. He’s not even pulling you that hard, but his touch leaves you rooted to the spot. “J-Just stay here, if that’s okay.” 
You settle back on the couch, trying to catch his eye. Yours widen slightly when you realize that his eyes are glassy. Was Midoriya crying? “Hey, Izuku…” you start, sitting closer to him. “What’s wrong?” 
He looks up for a moment, before looking back over at you. “Can I…” he trails off. “Can I just…” When you don’t flinch away, he takes that as a sign. He wraps his arms around your waist, scooping you up and plopping him on his lap with your knees on either side of him. Straddling him, you let him manhandle you. You let him press you to him, chest to chest, and a hand at the back of your head to press your face into his neck. He noses at your hairline slowly. 
“Izuku,” you whisper, voice muffled into his suit. “Tell me what happened.” 
Midoriya takes in one more deep breath, before he loosens his grip enough for you to pull back and see his face. “I was finishing up my patrol when a group of villains ambushed me. That part was normal, since it’s the middle of the night and maybe they thought they could get away with it? Everything was fine until I saw you. One of the villains used his quirk and made me see something that really shook me up.” 
Considering that he’s here, hugging you like he’s trying to merge with you, you think you have a vague idea of what he could have seen. But you refuse to be self-centered. You gently fiddle with the hair at the back of his neck. “What did you see?” 
He doesn’t look at you as his fingers run over the hem of your sleeping shirt. “You showed up, and they took you away. No matter how far I ran, I couldn’t catch up. I couldn’t save you. Luckily, some of my sidekicks showed up so they didn’t get away. But I couldn’t stop thinking about what they had shown me. I just had to make sure you were okay.” 
You exhale, not realizing you had held your breath during Midoriya’s story. At the very least, this explains his frantic behavior. “It’s okay,” you whisper. “I’m here.” 
He sighs, moving his hands to your waist. “It’s not okay though,” he returns, looking at you. “I think not being able to talk things out with you has freaked me out, thinking that I’ll miss my chance and lose you.” 
“You won’t lose me,” you say quietly. “I really like you.” You relax slightly in his arms. “We don’t have to talk about us right now but I don’t want you to rush into anything with me. I know that you’re here to protect people and you’re trying to establish yourself. I don’t want to get in the way of that. I don’t want you to spread yourself too thin.” You look down, suddenly nervous. “When this becomes something, I’m going to be a little selfish. I don’t want to feel like I’m coming in second place. I want everything that you’ll give me, and I want to feel like you’re always going to choose me. I know that in itself is selfish, but I just want to be upfront with you.”
One of Midoriya’s hands comes up to cup your cheek. He angles himself to meet your gaze. “Don’t ever call yourself selfish like it’s a bad thing. I want you to be selfish because I always want you to myself.” He starts mindlessly stroking your cheek with his thumb. “I want to be honest with you too. I can’t promise you that I can respond to texts within the hour. I can’t even promise that I’ll be on time for every date. But I’ll always consider you. And I’ll always choose to come back to you.” 
Overcome with helpless affection for him, you cannot help looking down at his lips. Suddenly, you’re aware of what you’re wearing and what you’re not wearing. Your sleeping attire is just a Riot Ground t-shirt you got from a team-building event during orientation and some loose shorts. Your lack of a bra is the most obvious. 
Judging from Midoriya’s darkened eyes, he knows this.
A pause. Then he brings you down to him, kissing you softly. Time seems to melt away as you shut your eyes and allow yourself to get lost in him. You can feel Midoriya’s grip tighten, pulling you closer as little uncontrollable whimpers fall from your lips.
Without warning, you feel yourself get hoisted up again. One hand around your waist, one hand hooked around a leg as you are maneuvered onto your back. Above you, Midoriya is steady and comforting and warm. He stares down at you like it is his first time seeing you. The sight sends jolts of anticipation through your body. 
On instinct, your arms find the back of his neck as he leans down to peck your lips once, twice, thrice more before starting a trail of butterfly kisses down your neck. He stops at the base, nipping and biting. It tickles, causing little giggles to escape you as you twitch occasionally at the overwhelming sensation. 
Midoriya hums, lifting himself back up. “So sensitive,” he mutters. 
You pout, tighten your grip on the back of his suit. “Is that okay?” 
He smiles, leaning back down to touch your nose with his. “More than okay. It’s perfect. You’re perfect. Want to keep going?” 
You cannot help but smile back, heart beating helplessly in your chest. “Yes,” you whisper, nervous but knowing that you trust him more than anything. 
So Midoriya kisses you again, his hands move to your waist to inch your shirt up higher and higher. He kisses down your stomach, fingers gripping the waistband of your shorts. “Is this okay?” he asks softly. 
You nod, realizing after a moment that he cannot see you. “Yes, yes, please Izuku…” 
You stare up at the ceiling as he pulls your bottoms down, exposing you to the air outside. It doesn’t stay unoccupied for long before he’s diving in between your legs, licking and sucking at spots that make you see stars. 
And when he curls up with you later that night under the blankets, refusing to let you go as you giggle and complain about needing the restroom, your heart is high with hope. Hope that perhaps it’s finally time for you and Midoriya. That perhaps, the game is finally over. 
.
The following day, Midoriya shows up to the Riot Ground agency. He had left early that morning, leaving behind a text apologizing and promising to make it up to you later that day. You hadn’t been entirely sure what making it up to you would entail, but you just told him you were looking forward to it. 
It’s a little bit before your lunch break when Bakugou comes stalking towards your cubicle. You’re still on the phone with the guys at HEROES MAGAZINE when he approaches, but he’s surprisingly patient as he waits for the call to end. 
You hang up after a few more minutes of last minute confirmations. “Everything okay?” you ask, redirecting your attention to Bakugou. 
He grunts, crossing his hands over his chest. “You have a visitor. Real insistent about seeing you.” 
You tilt your head. “Who is it?” 
He sighs, unfolding his arms. “Come on.” 
Nervously, you follow Bakugou into his office. Inside, you find Midoriya sitting on the couch. He’s talking to Kirishimia, but all the attention shifts to you as soon as you enter. Midoriya’s face lights up. “Hey!” he greets cheerfully, standing up to approach you. 
You let him, unable to help but smile back as the memories of last night fill you with warmth. The fact that those events were real and tangible still baffles you. “Hi, Izuku…” 
He scratches the back of his neck. “I really am sorry about having to leave after… yeah. After that.” 
You laugh, forgetting that both of you have company. “It’s fine. I know you’re busy. You’re here. That’s what’s important to me.” 
Midoriya smiles, actually looking relieved at your reassurance. “I’m glad…” 
From what sounds like miles away, Bakugou interrupts with a laugh. “Oh my fucking god.” 
You turn to look at him. “Something wrong boss?”
Bakugou is still smirking. He looks between you and Midoriya like he knows something you do not. He, however, makes it clear with his observation. “You guys finally hooked up, didn’t you?”
Immediately, your heart feels like it’s racing on overdrive as your entire body runs hot. “H-How did you… I mean, it’s just… I don’t…” 
Midoriya’s cheeks turn pink. “Kacchan, we’re in a workplace - can’t you keep things professional?” 
“Professional?” Bakugou echoes, smirking. “You have a lot of nerve saying that to me, Deku. Especially when the two of you are all googly-eyed right in front of my salad!!!” 
“Oi, Katsuki,” Kirishima interrupts, getting up from the couch and walking over to slap a hand on Bakugou’s shoulder. “I think it’s cute. Go easy on them.” Kirishima shifts his attention to you and Midoriya. “So, what’s this? You guys just hooking up? Or boyfriend and girlfriend? No shame either way!! I think it’s great that we live in a society where every stage and every kind of relationship has an appropriate label.” 
The overall question makes you want the ground to swallow you whole. This is especially the case because you and Midoriya haven’t even discussed what this is yet. What if you answered and it wasn’t the answer Midoriya had in mind. Or would staying silent be the better option? Should you already know what kind of relationship you’re in with Midoriya? You know you talked things out yesterday but was making an assumption going too far?
Your silence makes Kirishima smile. “I mean, there’s also no shame in being undecided. As long as you guys are communicating.” 
Midoriya wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you close. “I’m actually here to invite you to dinner tonight,” he says, pointedly ignoring his friends and their teasing smiles. 
You smile nervously, unsure whether or not to go along with Midoriya. You decide for it eventually. “Sure. I get off around 5. Can I meet you someplace?”
He shakes his head, looking at you with stars in his eyes. “No, no, I’ll come pick you up.” 
True to his promise, Midoriya is in the lobby of Riot Ground. He gives you that same bright smile, takes your hand. The restaurant he’s selected for the two of you is a few stops away, and he fills any silence with questions about your day and conversations like this is any normal day. Not at all like you’re about to go on (what you would consider to be) a date with Midoriya. 
It’s a sentiment you feel confident enough to echo once the pair of you are seated next to each other in the booth. You notice quickly that he’s taken you to a ramen shop you’ve mentioned enjoying once or twice. The realization draws out a happy, private smile. 
At your observation of this date, he mirrors your grin. “I’m glad we’re on the same page about this. It makes me feel less nervous about telling you that… last night?” He asks like he needs to make sure you know what he’s referring to. Like you need a reminder. But you nod, because Midoriya seems nervous. “That was all real to me. I know dating me would be challenging. But I really like you and I want to be with you. I hope that doesn’t freak you out.” 
Detecting his nerves regarding the subject, you reach out to take his hand. “Izuku, it doesn’t freak me out. I also mean what I said yesterday. I really like you.” You feel yourself go warm with meekness. “Although, I thought it was obvious that I wouldn’t freak out no matter what you said. You did spend the night, amongst other things… I don’t do that with guys I don’t like.” 
Midoriya laughs softly. “I just didn’t want to make any assumptions.” 
You nod. “Well, cease your worries. I am thoroughly into you.” 
Since you’re not rejecting his advances, Midoriya grows bolder. “So… can I do this…?” He laces your fingers together. 
You smile. “Yes,” you whisper, looking over at him. 
He moves closer, still wearing that fond grin. “And when I drop by the agency, can I tell Kacchan that I’m visiting my girlfriend?” 
Your smile morphs into a grin, but there are butterflies in your stomach. “You should probably be a little more professional around your Kacchan.” 
He pouts at that. “What if it’s for something important?” 
You gap slightly, unconsciously inching closer to him. “What could be so important with you and your new girlfriend that you need to visit her workplace?” 
He smiles at the question, eyes flickering down to your mouth before he leans in to kiss you. It’s firm and quick, startling you enough to elicit a squeak from the back of your throat. But he pulls away before you can relish in the gesture. 
When you open your eyes, Midoriya is still looking at you. You can feel the weight of his answer in his stare, making one very firm decision: you were going to suck his dick on the car ride home. 
.
Nearly one year later, the hero rankings are announced on a bright sunny afternoon. 
You are in your now shared apartment when the broadcast starts. When Midoriya is announced as the new number one hero. It’s a big moment within the hero community; not entirely unexpected considering the anticipation of Deku’s return and what he has been able to accomplish since then. It’s a moment that garners big cheers as Midoriya takes the stage alongside the other top ten heroes. 
You watch as each top ten hero makes a speech about their appreciation and their promise to continue protecting the country. As Midoriya makes his own speech, your heart feels light with pride and joy. 
It’s a feeling that continues into the late afternoon, when you’re fitting the bed with newly washed sheets that you hear the front door open and slam shut. “Baby?” It’s Midoriya. “Baby, I’m home!!!” 
You immediately come bounding out of the bedroom, dashing towards the entrance where Midoriya is slipping off his shoes. “Welcome back!! Congratulations on your ranking, Izuku!” 
At once, he sweeps you up into a hug, bringing your feet off the floor and your laughter in his ear. “Thank you,” he whispers earnestly, setting you back on the floor. He kisses your cheeks, spoiling you as if you were the one who has just ranked as the number one hero in the country. “Did you watch the broadcast?” 
“Of course!” you say, giving him a look. “It’s a big deal, Izuku.” 
He pulls back enough to send you one of his soft smiles. “Thank you.” 
You shake your head, cupping his cheeks. “How do you want to celebrate, Mr. Number One?” 
“Well, Uraraka is hosting a party later today to celebrate the new rankings. But…” he trails off, turning meek. He leans forward, nose to nose. “Kind of want to eat you out. Is that okay?” 
Your stomach flutters. His hands move up your shirt, touching at bare skin. “W-We should do something for you.” 
“You letting me eat you out is the something for me,” Midoriya returns, removing his hands to start messing with your shorts. He pulls both shorts and panties down, lowering himself down to let you step out of them. He lifts you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he traverses down the hall back into your shared bedroom. Gracefully, Midoriya lowers you amongst the pillows. 
One, two, three more kisses along your forehead, cheek and lips, before Midoriya makes his way down your body. Lifting your shirt over your head, planting two kisses on each nipple, down your stomach, immediately wrapping his arms around your legs to keep them apart. A kiss on your clit melts into a lick that makes you choke on a whimper. 
Midoriya has always been good at eating you out. Ever since that first night, he is keen on prodding at the spots that drive you to the edge the quickest, or dragging things out as long as he wants to. It’s that scary observational skills from his line of work getting put to personal use. 
And you’re not complaining. 
In the fifteen minutes he spends in between your legs, you come three times. You’re shaking, gasping, overwhelmed by the time he lifts his head up with his lips shiny with juice. 
You’re still trying to catch your breath as Midoriya undoes his belt, takes out his cock. He runs it over your slit once before pushing in past the ring of muscle. The sensation makes you jolt, crying out as you arch and push at his chest. “Izuku… wait.” Your walls flutter, causing Midoriya to sputter. “I just need to catch my breath.” 
You take a few deep breaths as Midoriya thumbs at your hip in apology. “Sorry baby, I should have asked first.” 
You shake your head. “No, it’s fine. Sorry.” 
“You don’t need to apologize.” Midoriya leans down, kissing your ear and down your neck, nipping gently at your collarbone.The gesture, while ticklish, helps relax you enough to reflect on the events of the day. You’re not sure how long it is before you speak again. 
“Hey, so since you’re the number one hero now…” you start once you feel like your head has cleared up enough. “You’re probably going to be a whole lot busier. Lots more people are going to be looking at you and relying on you. It’s everything you’ve ever wanted…” 
Saying the words out loud makes a new kind of reality dawn on you. How would you fit in this equation of Midoriya’s newest accomplishment? 
“Hey.” Midoriya’s voice draws you back. His head lifts from your neck, locking you in an intense stare, hands planted on either side of you. “I don’t know what exactly is going on in that head of yours. Just because I’m the number one hero now doesn’t mean that I still don’t care about you. It doesn’t mean that I’m suddenly going to stop considering you. I’m number one to the country, but you’re number one to me and that’s what is important.” 
You pause, letting his words sink in. You giggle. “Izuku, that was super cheesy.” 
“And what of it?” he purrs, using your giggle as the okay to readjust you. He takes your ankles, repositioning them over his shoulders. He leans in, bringing your legs to your chest, sinking deeper into you. The sensation makes you whine, arching your back and curling your toes. 
“Mmmm,” you whimper, unable to do anything else but lay there and take it. 
“Do you understand now?” he asks, pulling out until the tip and thrusting back in. “Do you understand how much I love you?” 
As if it wasn’t hard enough answering his question, he’s hitting something in you that makes it difficult to think. “Fffuck, Izuku… yes…” 
“Then, you think you can say it back to me, pretty girl?” He straightens up, keeping one of your legs on his shoulder as he increases his pace. His grip on you is strong, while his other hand starts drawing tight circles on your clit. 
You start fluttering around his cock, unable to move away from the simulation. So you try to push at his chest in warning. “Izuku… wait…” 
“I don’t know if I can, baby,” he says, almost disappointedly. “I can’t let my girl walk around not knowing how much I care about her.” 
“I do know…” you whimper, shaking when he finds the right angle to rub your clit. “Aaaaaa… I know how much you love me.” 
You can hear the smile in his voice. “Good girl. Wanna say it back?” 
He releases your other leg so that both fall on either side of his waist. Midoriya looms over you again, never once letting up his pace. “Say…” you manage, tongue feeling like jello. “Say what back?” 
He hums. Still circling your clit, he runs his other hand up over your curves, palming your breast. “Say you love me back.” 
“I love you - !” you squeal as he pinches a nipple. The coil in your stomach snaps, and white hot pleasure runs through your body. You shudder, tightening and fluttering and gasping. You weakly whimper as Midoriya continues to drive into you, your breasts bouncing with the movement. It stops when he gives you one last firm thrust, letting out a groan of his own that is so hot your walls flutter at the noise. 
The high of what you’ve started together starts to die down as the silence is filled with your gasps and his panting. 
Midoriya drops himself next to you, immediately wrapping his arms around you and nosing your hairline. “Hey,” he whispers. 
“Hmmm?” you hum, content and still trying to catch your breath. 
He doesn’t speak until you look at him. He leans in, touching his nose to yours. “I love you too.” 
You try hard to bite back a grin. “Still want to go to Uraraka’s party?” you ask quietly. 
He groans against your neck. “Not really.” 
You giggle. “You should!” you scold. “It’ll be fun. You’re the number one hero now. Don’t you want to celebrate with your friends?” 
“I’d rather just celebrate with you,” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 
You roll your eyes playfully. “We just did. C’mon!” You push yourself off of bed, whirling around to face him. “I’m gonna pee. We’re going to shower, and then go.” 
Never able to say no to you, Midoriya sits up on the bed and climbs out after you. “Okay, okay, baby. We’ll go.” Without warning, he hooks his arms under your knee and under your back, lifting you up and carrying you to the shower - the sound of your giggles filling the air. 
The party is in full swing by the time you and Midoriya arrive at Uraraka’s house. Midoriya still has that post sex glow in his cheeks. It makes him clingy to you as you enter. The man at your side is immediately greeted by everyone, both friends and fans. It makes it easy for you to peel yourself away from your boyfriend, finding shelter in the living room. 
There, you find Bakugou at the couch, nursing a drink in his hands. 
Finding comfort in the sight of a familiar face, you approach him. “Bakugou! I didn’t think you’d show up.” 
He gives you a sideways glance. “I wasn’t,” he says. “Eijirou said I should, so people can see that I’m supportive of Deku taking over the number one spot. Like I give a shit what people think anyways.” 
You take a seat next to him. “I think you care a little bit. I know how much having that number one spot meant to you. Buuuutt,” you say, trying to lighten the mood a bit. “I think it could be seen as good, friendly competition. What do you think? Gonna start working double shifts to get your spot back?” you ask teasingly, grinning playfully at Bakugou. The latter is surprisingly quiet. 
Bakugou gives you a grin that doesn’t reach his eyes. “I knew it was only a matter of time,” he gruffs. “I really do hope as his girlfriend, you’ll never have to see this. But Deku? That nerd is crazy. Back in high school, during the war, he became this self-sacrificing maniac and acted out on his own. It’s a version of him I haven’t seen since then, but it’s a trait that never really went away. Deku lives to give back,” he mutters, so quiet that you wonder if you’re meant to hear him or not. “That’s why people gravitate towards him. It’s hard to compete with someone who would so willingly trade his happiness for others without hesitation.” 
Bakugou’s eyes find something. You turn, following his stare to see Midoriya chatting it up with other pro-heroes. The latter looks bashful, but proud - he blends right into this world you are only just now starting to adjust to. 
I hope you’ll never have to see it.
You watch as Midoriya’s gaze finds yours, waving when he smiles at you, trying not to ponder too deeply into Bakugou’s words.
.
Despite your wishes, you spend some time thinking about Bakugou’s observation. It’s true. Midoriya is a giver. He gives and gives and gives, hardly ever taking anything in return. He rarely asks to take time off, asks you to take care of him, and rarely ever thinks about himself. 
A year after Midoriya becomes the number one hero, you start to see what Bakugou had meant. 
It starts small. So subtle that you don’t even notice it at the time. It happens on a random Thursday night, when Midoriya stops kissing you hello after coming back from the office. It’s something you don’t even notice at the time. You had just continued cooking dinner, oblivious to what that simple missing gesture would spiral into. 
Then, he misses a lunch date. Texts about his whereabouts and any villain appearances on the news are non-existent, until you find out that he just got caught up on paperwork and simply lost track of time. He apologizes later that evening, promising to make it up to you. And he does. He brought flowers home the next day and took you out to dinner. So you forget about the incident, assuming that it was a one-time thing. 
Only, it isn’t just a one-time thing. He misses a few more dates, and doesn’t even tell you he’s coming home late one evening, before you decide it’s time to prod. Gently though, because you aren’t a confrontational person. 
It happens late one night, because Midoriya stops taking days off, when both of you are in bed. Midoriya still wraps one arm around you, using his other hand to scroll through his phone. 
“Izuku, is everything okay?” you ask softly, almost nervous to question it. 
He looks at you, smiling uneasily. “Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?” 
“N-No reason. I was just wondering if you’ve been more busy than before. It’s just that you’ve been coming home later and later. Not to mention that I know that you know there have been a few dates we need to catch up on…” 
Midoriya lowers his phone, pondering your words as he wraps both arms around you. “I know, baby. I’m sorry about that. You know, I didn’t realize just how many cases the police are working on at any given time. Big-case villains, small-case villains, missing people reports… so as the number one hero I’m trying to help out as much as I can.” 
You look over at him. “You’re working with the police to solve all those cases?” you try for a smile and a joke. “No wonder you’ve been so busy.” 
He grins, not noticing the fake smile you’ve plastered on your face. He’s looking at you, but it feels more like he’s looking through you. “People out there need me.” 
You touch his cheek, trying to root him back to you. “Well, I need you too, Izuku.” You try to sound lighthearted, but something heavy plants itself in your heart. 
At that, Midoriya’s eyes really do focus on your face this time. He cups your cheek. “Baby, I’m right here. Always.” 
Are you really? It’s a thought that your mind whispers to you softly, challenging you to say it. But you cannot rise to the task. You don’t say anything that night. You just nod, hugging him and thinking: this is the last time I’ll have to say this. 
Unfortunately, life does not work that way. It finds a way to topple down all around you. Not only does Midoriya remain busy, but you get promoted at Ground Zero’s agency. You move from a cubicle into your own office along with a clusterfuck of new responsibilities. 
The next few months feel like one thing after another. Every attempt both you and Midoriya make falls flat. You plan a birthday party for Midoriya, only to fly out on a impromptu business trip hours before. Midoriya makes reservations for the grand opening of this fancy sushi restaurant, but ultimately stands you up because he fell asleep on the couch. He tries to come home early to surprise you, but you’re out buying groceries for the week. 
Conversation between the two of you becomes as nonexistent as the plans you try to make. What were once joyful exchanges about the past or eventful tales from your jobs become surface level questions about the weather or if either one of you were going to be home for dinner - with the answer typically being no. It feels like another game of pretend with Midoriya - only this time, you’re pretending like this relationship is on the right track. 
Everything comes to a headway on a Tuesday morning. Midoriya is out of bed and out of the apartment. Typical. You didn’t even hear him come in last night (or early this morning). But you notice a text message from Kirishimia at six in the morning. Less typical. Urgent meeting at the heroes commission. Turn on the news when you wake up. 
The headlines jump out onto the screen as soon as you turn on the TV. 
DEVASTATING EARTHQUAKE STRIKES. TOP OVERSEAS PRO HEROES REQUESTED FOR REINFORCEMENTS. 
The footage is horrible. Buildings toppled down, rubble everywhere. People digging through. Children screaming. All the things of nightmares, not unlike the disaster you remember from your childhood - from the Liberation War all those years ago. 
It’s footage that continues to be displayed over social media and over the city as you get ready for work and take the subway to the office. It’s still there when you turn on the TV in your office when you show up to work. 
“It’s horrible,” Roni, your friend from the finance department, mutters, arms crossed over her chest as she joins you to watch. “The hero commission is probably trying to figure out which heroes to send over and which ones need to stay here in Japan.” She turns to you. “Any news from Deku?” 
The mention of his name makes your stomach churn. Truthfully, you haven’t spoken to Izuku, really spoken to him, in weeks. You don’t even remember the last time you existed in the same space together. You clear your throat. You check your phone with a weight in your gut, knowing that there won’t be any messages.You hate that your suspicions are confirmed. “Nothing.” 
He’s probably at the same meeting as Bakugou and Kirishimia, along with all the other top heroes. 
It is a few hours of tense silence in the office. Both for the fate of which heroes will travel abroad and if your bosses will be part of that departure. 
The aforementioned bosses return a few hours later, confirming that they will not be sent away. As part of the top five pro-heroes, they are tasked with staying. “Because some others at the top volunteered to leave. The commission wants to make sure at least some of us are still here holding down the fort,” Kirishima clarifies. 
You wring your hands nervously. “What about Deku?” you ask. 
Bakugou is noticeably quiet, something you pick up on. “You should go home,” he says instead. Then, he trails off into something softer. “That damn nerd doesn’t know when to stop.” 
Your eyes widen, your heart picks up, and you leave. You practically race home to your apartment, to your home. 
Izuku is packing when you arrive. 
You slam the door. “What the fuck are you doing?” 
For a moment, your Izuku peaks through the cracks. He jolts, looking startled and wide-eyed. But when he realizes that it’s you at the door, that facade disappears. You are facing Pro Hero Deku now, the hero who has just volunteered to fly away from here, away from you. “My flight is leaving soon,” he says, returning to packing. 
“You’re leaving,” you echo. “Just like that?” 
“You saw the news, didn’t you?” he challenges. “Those people need me. I have to help them.” 
“Without asking me?” 
He pauses. “This isn’t something I need a second opinion on.” 
You clench your teeth together, trying to swallow the hurt. You’ve heard the stories from Bakugou about Izuku during the Liberation War - about Izuku barrelling headfirst into tracking down All For One alone, without his classmates or his support system, without regard to himself. His warnings suddenly feel like a lifetime ago. “A second opinion?” you bite. “I’m not a fucking doctor, Izuku, I’m your girlfriend. I thought we were a team. Shouldn’t I have a say in this?” 
He throws his clothes on top of the ones he has already folded in. “What is there to say? How do you expect me to stand aside when I have a way of helping these people? How could you understand, when you don’t have the power I do.” 
Ouch. You never thought he’d pull that card. Just because you don’t have a flashy quirk doesn’t mean that you don’t want to help people, it doesn’t mean that you don’t care. But your anger turns into sharp words that leave your lips without warning. “Fine,” you snap. “Do whatever the fuck you want. You’re really good at that.” 
He glares at you. “What is that supposed to mean?” 
“Don’t act like you don’t know anything!” you protest loudly. “Don’t pretend like you haven’t been home in weeks, because you haven’t been here. Not really, anyways. Did you know this is our first conversation in days? But not just that. You’ve been standing me up, ignoring me for months. I thought we could eventually talk about this when things at work quieted down. But things have quieted down. All the other heroes, all your friends, are having date nights and friend nights. But you aren’t. You still aren’t here with me. You just stay out there, taking one police case after another.” 
“You knew what you were doing when we started going out,” Izuku snaps back. It’s like you’ve both been holding back on each other, only waiting until now for the dam to break. “I’m the number one hero now. My quirk comes from All Might, and so do his responsibilities. I can’t always be here.” 
It’s all coming out now, you think vaguely to yourself. The anger is overpowering the hurt you should be feeling. “I know that, and I’m not asking you to always be here,” you say sharply. “I’ve always said that I just want you to consider me and care about me. But I can see that something like that is impossible for you to do.” 
Stop, your mind whispers. Anyone with eyes could see that Izuku cares. He cares more than anyone else on the planet. That’s why he’s here. That’s why you’re here. That’s why you’re in love with him, and that’s why it hurts so much.
“You’re right,” he finally speaks hollowly. “How can you expect me to neglect my job? Because that job, and the people that need me…” he pauses. “Are more important than what’s here.” 
The next words you were planning to say die down in your throat, as you both are left alone in the silence of what you’ve just said to each other. What is there to say after all that? 
That’s when the hurt settles in, the insecurities threatening to swallow you alive. You know that you’ve also said some terrible things, but the knowledge that Izuku has confirmed your worst fears renders you mute. That you, for all the love in your heart you hold for the man in front of you, will always see you as second place in his life.
“Fine,” you whisper, refusing to see the empty look in Izuku’s eyes. Not like you can see it anyways with the tears fogging up what’s in front of you. “Go do whatever you want. Save the world just like you always have, Deku. But you should know that if you get on that plane, I’m done. If you get on that plane, it’s over between us.” 
You remember to grab your keys off the counter before walking out the door. 
You don’t know how far you walk, or for how long. The nighttime bustle ignores your sulking as you continue down the sidewalk. You pass by night clubs, convenience stores, other apartment buildings - but none of those matter. All you know in your heart is that this might be the end of you and Izuku. And the last thing he would remember you saying is that he doesn’t care. 
You stop in your tracks. How could you say something like that? Izuku is the number one pro hero because he cares, and he has been a consistent source of comfort in your life because he cares. Was it really okay for you to give him such an ultimatum when you never said you could make him choose between work and you? Maybe you can return back, apologize, and try to talk things out. Perhaps he didn’t mean what he said, just as you didn’t mean what you said. 
You run back to the apartment. Had you walked further than you thought? Your lungs burn with air, your legs ache as you run up the stairs, and through the front door. “Izuku?” you call out. “Izuku, I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I said those things…” 
But the apartment is quiet, empty of Izuku and his immediate belongings. He’s gone. 
How could he just leave? Izuku may be petty, but never aggressive when upset. Especially when something as big as this serves as a roadblock to your relationship. Especially when you don’t know when you’ll see him again. 
On instrict, your hand goes to your back pocket to check your phone but it’s not there. You pat yourself down a few times, but come up to the same conclusion. No phone. Did you have it with you when you left? You swear you left the office with it in your bag. 
Your bag. It was thrown by the door upon first arrival. You tear into it, rummaging through laptop, files, notebook and planners before producing the damn thing. The screen lights up. 
9 missed calls from Izuku <3 
Izuku <3 (6:03pm): the driver is here. I wish we had more time. I’m sorry for what I said. I’m sorry I have to get on this plane. But people need me. I can’t just stand aside. 
Izuku <3 (6:03pm): I hope we can talk soon 
The lump comes back and doesn’t leave. It makes the tears come fast and hard, the gasps leave your throat as you throw your phone somewhere faraway before curling up against the door. Because are you not someone he cares about? Don’t you deserve to have help from him? 
You bring your knees to your chest, feeling the bitter loneliness stronger than you’ve ever felt before. You always knew that Izuku was a hero above and beyond. The pair of you have been dancing around each other for as long as you’ve known him. You really assumed that things would be alright once feelings were sorted out and Izuku showed up that night all those months ago, promising a commitment to you. But you were naive. Feelings were not enough to enact the selflessness needed to love a hero. 
Just before you fall asleep that night, you vaguely remember crawling onto the couch. Your body carries a heavy weight that lots of tears usually bring, along with a sore neck and back. You sit up feeling groggy and tired, immediately searching for your phone. Although the intention is to check the date and time, you still feel disheartened when you notice Izuku has not called or texted since his previous message. 
You do, however, have some texts from Bakugou. 
boss bakugou (9:46pm): Hey, call me when you get this. I should have told you about the nerd, but thought it was better you hear it from him. Hopefully everything has worked out. 
boss bakugou (9:46pm): Or whatever. I don’t give a shit what happens to you two. 
boss bakugou (9:46pm): I’m mostly kidding. 
boss bakugou (11:02pm): Did Deku leave???? 
You blink, reading the messages many times over because your tired mind cannot process it normally. You debate reading the message, or just ignoring it and also skipping work while you’re at it. 
you (6:34am): he left 
Your fingers hover over the keyboard.
you (6:40am): it’s over 
You should know that Bakugou would be awake at this time. 
boss bakugou (6:42am): Still want to come into work?
A part of you doesn’t want to. But a tiny part of you whispers that you should. 
you (6:54am): of course 
Despite your reassurance, there is a numbness that comes with hopping into the shower and washing away the messiness of yesterday. Because no matter how long you stand underneath the water, you cannot wash away the words and feelings. 
Because was this really the end of you and Izuku? He really did leave, finalizing everything with his choice - picking the world over you. Implying that you aren’t as important as his job and the people who need him is a bold claim. It’s not something one can just make up on the spot and not mean. 
Getting dressed is harder than you thought. You have to put some spoons in the refrigerator to help with the puffiness of your eyes. You have to step into your bedroom for the first time since Izuku left to gather some clothes. For some reason, the reality of what exactly you’ve gone through with Izuku doesn’t hit you. It makes you numb, sure, but it feels like these are problems someone else is going through.
Someone who is not you, as you leave your apartment and somehow manage to find your way to the Riot Ground agency. 
Kirishima and Bakugou are in the lobby of the building as you enter. 
You aren’t going to speak first, and the heroes in front of you seem to know that. “The nerd really left?” Bakugou asks. 
You really thought you wouldn’t cry, especially after crying last night and determining that you were fine enough to work. But somehow, external forces bring up the feelings and the lump in your throat returns. You tuck your hair behind your ears, internally cursing as tears start gathering in your eyes. “Well,” you start, unable to help the way your voice catches, the way it breaks. “He made his decision clear last night.” 
“Man, he was just like this when we were kids,” Kirishima grumbles. “Always putting others before himself. I just never thought he’d do that to you.” He looks at you. “I’m really sorry. I hope he didn’t say anything stupid. He was going a little crazy during that meeting.” 
“He…” you gasp a little under the weight of your tears, hoping that neither Kirishima nor Bakugou will comment on it. “He said… our relationship wasn’t important.” You sniff. “I mean… I also said some mean things. But… I really… didn’t think… he’d leave without saying… goodbye.” 
Bakugou wordlessly passes you a tissue while Kirishima guides you down the hall into his office. Neither of them press you for details as you sit in front of Kirishima’s desk, trying to calm down. 
“Deku isn’t thinking about himself right now,” Bakugou says quietly once your gasps have died down and the tears have stopped. “When he sees that people need him, and he knows he can help, he’ll self-sabotage himself. That doesn’t excuse what he said, but he likely isn’t thinking clearly.” 
You nod slowly, not sure if you’re acknowledging Bakugou’s words or just trying to get a handle on the overall situation. “I don’t know what to do,” you whisper. 
Kirishima nods. “It’s a lot to handle. And you don’t have to do anything you aren’t ready for.” He shakes his head. “I’m not sure what anyone would do after hearing words like that.” 
What would be the next step anyways? A text from Izuku first implies that perhaps moving the conversation along falls onto your shoulders. But what is there to say? Hey Izuku, I know you said this isn’t important to you and you left for another country for an undisclosed amount of time even though I said our relationship was over if you left. Anyways, how’s it going? 
So rather than think about it - you wait, wondering if the right moment will ever come. 
And you wait. 
But you never seem to find the words to say.
.
Midoriya Izuku is away for a year and a half. 
Your phone remains empty of his texts, his calls, or his love for the entire time. But you see him everywhere, especially on the news where the world is praising him for yet another save. Whether it’s digging people out of the rubble, or helping other countries with villain cases, or teaching society how to rebuild their communities after disasters. 
He’s in his element. His tinge of sadness is probably the knowledge that he couldn’t save everyone, you think to yourself. Always watching him on your phone, or on your laptop when a breaking news notification comes up. 
You’re sure he’s happy with his choice. After all, a year and a half with no contact is quite telling about his decision. Yours too, because you never mustered up the courage to ask how he was doing. You never talk to him. 
Yet, you hear about him enough. Not just through the news, but through your boss and colleagues. It’s hard to avoid your pro hero ex-boyfriend when you work in the hero industry and so happen to have two bosses who have known the aforementioned ex-boyfriend since high school. 
For the most part, both Kirishima and Bakugou don’t mention Izuku. They keep their opinions to themselves with everyday that goes by. They didn’t say anything when you started showing up to work without the necklace Izuku had given you, when you removed the matching phone charm, or when the couple's picture you had framed on your desk went into the trash. 
It’s a line, however, that Bakugou crosses when you give him a box of Izuku’s things - the things he didn’t bring abroad with him like his extra sweaters, books, his favorite All Might mug, and that aforementioned necklace. “Listen,” Bakugou had said. “I know things have been hard for you, having to see that nerd’s face everywhere. But I’m sure it’s been rough for him. Why don’t you give him a call?” 
“What is there to say?” you had returned softly. 
Bakugou had rolled his eyes. “How about you start with saying sorry? I’m sure he also feels the same.” 
You didn’t know how to respond to that. Would sorry be enough to make up for what you said? Would sorry be enough to make up for what he said? Would that be enough to repair the underlying issues of your relationship?
It’s a quiet year and a half. You move out of that old apartment, into a newer but smaller one. You work, eat, and sleep. You see friends on the weekends and watch dramas on the weekdays. Eventually, you stop watching the news every night. You stop getting notifications about Pro Hero Deku on your phone, which is why it comes as a big surprise when Kirishima approaches your office on a random Friday morning. He leans against the doorframe, folding his arms across his chest. 
“He’s coming home.” 
Your stomach drops without meaning to. A name doesn’t need to be uttered for you to know who exactly is coming home. You continue typing out your email, doing well to ignore that feeling inside of you. “Is… is that so?” 
Kirishima nods, eying you worriedly. “The repair efforts are finally done. Deku refused to return until he knew everyone was okay.” 
Of course he would, you observe. “I-I’m glad to hear that,” you muster softly. 
Out of the corner of your eye, Kirishima is still watching you. “Ochako and Iida are hosting a welcome back party for him. I wasn’t sure if you’d be interested…” 
“Probably not,” you say, eyes not leaving your screen. “But thanks for the invite.” 
Kirishima makes a noise. “Hey, I think that Katsuki and I have been as hands-off as possible about you and Izuku - but don’t you think it’s been long enough? Why not just talk about your problems instead of avoiding them?” 
You look at him for the first time since he stopped by your office. “I’m not avoiding anything,” you point out. “Midoriya said what he needed to say. I said what I needed to say. Besides,” you look back at your screen. “It happened. He’s moved on. And so have I.” 
Kirishima walks until he’s standing right next to you. He leans back against your desk. “You’ve moved on, huh? Even more reason to go, right? That’s what a friend would do, isn’t it? Support your other friend who is returning home after a year?” 
“He has plenty of other friends,” you retort. You’re not even sure what you’re typing out anymore, but it’s better than looking at Kirishima. He’s likely disappointed in your decision. “He wouldn’t miss seeing me.” 
Your boss makes a noise of protest, but doesn’t say anything. He ends up leaving for an upcoming meeting, saving you the trouble of his further pestering. Not ever seeing Izuku again, you decide, would be the best option. 
Unfortunately, life doesn’t turn out that way. Because three weeks after Midoriya Izuku’s alleged return, there is a knock on your door. 
And you, expecting a package, opens the door. Your stomach drops. “I-Izu- I… Midoriya!” you choke out, your heart suddenly feels like it is launching itself into the sun. Your stomach doesn’t fare well either. You swear it feels like it’s being wrung dry. Your mouth opens and closes a few times, eyes flying all over him as if trying to make up for the year and half you haven’t seen him in person.  
He’s different. His hair is a little shorter. It still has that curly texture at the top, over his forehead, but is that an undercut in the back? Oh dear. Today he is wearing jeans and a sweater with SWEATSHIRT in typed kanji. Well… some things are still the same. His eyes are still that deep forest green color. Today, they are sad. But they are wide, also looking you up and down like he is seeing you for the first time. 
“Hi,” you exclaim after realizing neither of you have spoken words for a concerning amount of time. You try to ignore how distant, how light your voice sounds. You eventually manage to close your mouth. “Sorry, I…” Your thoughts are scrambling. “I was expecting a package…” 
He seems to have found his voice. “O-oh!” he returns, holding up a box towards you. “That must be this. It was by your door.” 
You try hard not to look at him as you reach over. You cradle the package, glad to have something to distract you as you fiddle with the edges. The first time you’re seeing Midoriya in a year and a half, and you are uselessly mute. You do open your mouth, but only to say something stupid. “Seems like the pro hero stuff didn’t work out, if you’re a delivery boy now.” 
Midoriya blinks, quiet, and you curse yourself. 
You close your eyes for a moment, opening them to look at him. “Sorry, that was stupid to say.” 
He tries to smile. But it’s soft, sad, and doesn’t reach his eyes. You hate that you notice right away. “Not at all. C-Can I come in?” 
You inhale slowly, tucking the package behind your back as you open the door wider for him. “Sure.” You watch carefully as he enters your apartment. He leaves his shoes on, but lingers at the entrance. 
His eyes take in the new apartment. “I like the new place.” 
“Thank you,” you say. You place the package on the small table near the door. “Midoriya… what are you doing here?” 
He whirls around. “I’m actually here on business. Kacchan asked me to pick up some damage report.” 
“Oh!” That was unexpected. It’s hard to tell if it’s unwelcomed or not that Izuku actually has a reason for showing up. It’s also hard to tell if Bakugou was actually too busy to come over himself. But it seems like a waste to ponder on that. “Oh, yes. That. I can grab that for you right now.” 
You walk further into the apartment. Midoriya does take his shoes off this time to follow you. “Sorry for just showing up, by the way. I probably should have called you but…” 
You start digging through your work backpack. “Why are you apologizing?” 
“W-Well,” he stammers. “I know Kacchan sent me here on official business but… I don’t know. I don’t want to make it seem like I’m crossing a boundary or anything. I know Kacchan gave me your address, but still.” 
Perhaps he is overstepping. For a moment, memories of his neglect, of your words, flash through your mind. But where you once felt hurt now feels distant and foreign. “Not at all,” you reassure, producing the file and looking up at him. “I mean, we’ve always… been friends, haven’t we?”
If Midoriya is bothered by your question, he doesn’t show it. He smiles again. Yet, once more, it does not reach his eyes. “Yeah. Of course.” 
The silence feels like something dangerous. Izuku looks deep in thought, and it makes you panic. So you cover the distance and extend the folder towards him. “Here you go.” 
He takes it. “Thanks.” A pause. “So, uh, how have you been?” 
You rub your hands, definitely giving away the nerves. “I’m alright. Still working at Riot Ground, which is nice. I actually have to manage people… which is fun, but also nerve-wracking because there’s a team that relies on me to distribute tasks and be on top of everything.” 
“Well,” Midoriya starts. “You’ve always been really organized, so I’m sure you’re doing great. Kacchan and Eijirou always have nothing but praise for you.” 
You nod in agreement, not really thinking as you open your mouth to continue the conversation. “It’s nice that you kept in touch with them while you were away.” 
You shut your mouth but it is too late. The words have already been spoken, and you regret it at once. Why? You were content playing pretend, just as you assume he had been - but now you’ve gone and opened your big mouth. Even worse, you forgot to run your thoughts through that filter in your brain. 
Well. Not much you can do about this now. You’ve threatened the fragile peace of pretending, and now there is not much you can do independently. You pause in your movements, refusing to look at Midoriya. Instead, you stare at the wall behind him. 
But it seems like you underestimate his kind nature. He doesn’t rise to the bait. From the corner of your eye, you see his nod. “I talked to them occasionally,” he starts softly. He pauses, long enough that you look at him. He’s staring back. “I just wanted to make sure things were alright back home.” 
Your eyes widen, lips part. What exactly does he mean by that?
Your silence reads like an open invitation for Midoriya. He steps forward, opening his mouth - ! 
His phone rings, startling both of you out of whatever trance you were pulled into. You look down, shuffling. Midoriya jerks back, face shuttering before pulling out his phone. “K-Kacchan,” he grumbles. 
Noises on the other end of the line. Bakugou, likely reprimanding him for taking too long. 
After a moment, he jolts. “A-ah, you’re right! Sorry Kacchan. I got the files, I’ll head back over soon. No! No… there was no trouble. Okay.” He hangs up, looking at you. “That was Kacchan. I, uh, I should go.” 
You nod. “Uh, yeah. No problem.” 
He moves to make his leave. You follow behind just to see him out, but he turns around before he can leave. “Hey, so. Since I’m back… don’t be a stranger, okay? If you need anything, I’m here.”
Oh, a tiny voice whispers in your heart, fuck. He’s really continuing this game of pretend. 
Valid. Izuku has never been good at confrontation. Neither have you, so you give your best attempt at a smile. “Thank you… Midoriya.” 
His fingers twitch, but leaves soon after. 
Pretending that you were always just friends with Midoriya is strange, but unsurprisingly normal considering your history with him. Now that he’s back home, his unexpected visit to your apartment seemed to enforce something: he’s willing to fake it as much and for as long as you are.
It starts small - hesitant texts he sends sharing something from patrol that remind him of you. Texts that transition into asking about your day, or inquiring about a show you mention. Naturally, you are hesitant to return the effort. But a small part of you, the small part that is soft on him, is elated that he is back and actually wants to talk to you. 
“Of course the nerd would still want to be friends,” Bakugou scoffs. “You clearly don’t know your own boyfriend that well.” 
“Ex,” you interrupt sharply. “Ex-boyfriend. And sorry I don’t have years of experience handling Midoriya like you do. Usually, when things end badly with an ex, ignoring each other is the bare minimum most people expect.” 
“Well,” he snaps back. “You idiot. Deku isn’t like most people.” He quiets down when he sees the guilt on your face. “What are you going to do now? I heard you were invited to Todoroki’s party.” 
That is true. Shouto himself extended the invitation to you through a text message you were surprised to get. After all, most of your friendships with the Izuku’s old classmates have slowed down a fair amount post breakup. In general, you’ve never been too big on attending gatherings of any kind. But since you and Izuku have reunited (i.e., you guys are just playing house rather than actually talk), it leaves you (once again) in a gray zone. 
You settle with just trying to stay aloof. “I was invited, yeah.” 
Bakugou glares at you. “What? You’re suddenly playing coy? You going or not?” 
You shrug. “I don’t know!!” 
He rolls his eyes. “It’s just a party. It’s not rocket science.” He pauses. “You should go.” 
“What are you, my consciousness now?” you retort hotly.
“Okay, fine,” he spits. “Go. Or don’t go. And deal with a paranoid Deku who is stupid sometimes but not stupid enough to know when you’re avoiding him.” 
You glare at Bakugou for a little longer, really hating how smart he is in spite of his brashness. You’re not really sure you can handle a confrontation with Midoriya right now, and you know that he’ll try to ask questions if you don’t show up. Especially because you know that he knows that Todoroki invited you himself. 
“Fine, fine. I’ll go just for Todoroki,” you say, defeated sigh and all. You pick up your phone to look at the time. It’s 4:30, almost time to leave work for the day. “I’ll go home first to drop my stuff off then head over, I guess.” 
“No,” Bakugou snaps, grabbing your work bag from the corner of your office. “I can see your tricks coming from a mile away. I’m not leaving you on the off-chance you’ll go home and pretend to be sick. We’re leaving now.” 
“No, wait, BAKUGOU!” you exclaim, frantically trying to shut off your electronic belongings and gather the items on your desk that need to go into that work bag. “This doesn’t even involve you, why do you care so much?” 
Bakugou whirls around in the doorframe of your office. “Because if that nerd tries to talk to me about you one more time I will blow his face off. We’re going.” 
You try to act as if Bakugou’s words have lit a fire of meekness inside of you as you follow him out of the office. “A-Are you sure we need to leave now?” you fight weakly. “K-Kirishima isn’t even back yet!” 
“Shitty Hair is patrolling until later today. He’ll be late,” Bakugou explains, practically shoving you into his car. “Besides, the sooner I get there, the sooner I can leave.” 
You huff. “Your intentions are definitely in the right place there, Bakugou.” 
He sneers at you, before turning up the radio and leaving the two of you in silence. It’s a bit of a drive to Todoroki’s house. But in Bakugou’s presence, you’ve never felt the need to speak words to fill the space. He’s enjoyed the quiet as much as you. However, today the quiet fills your mind with questions. Was it really okay for you to be at this party? Would your presence make things awkward? Was Midoriya going to be there?
Bakugou pulls up to Todoroki’s house soon, located in a quiet wealthy neighborhood away from the city. Despite the wealth that you feel in the air, Todoroki’s house is rather discreet and combines modern architecture with a traditional style. It’s beautiful - you’re simultaneously flabbergasted and impressed by how rich Shouto Todoroki is. With the high bamboo and trees, you almost don’t notice a gate on the property, unlocked by a code that Bakugou knows by heart. There’s a sizable driveway, filled with a few cars and a familiar figure that makes your heart both sing and drop. 
Midoriya is in what you assume to be his car, scrolling through his phone. His gaze lifts when he sees you and Bakugou pulling up. For a brief second, his eyes widen when looking at you. But by the time Bakugou parks and you’re hauling yourself out of the car, that glint in his eyes is gone. He’s also out of his car as well, walking over to meet you halfway.
You immediately write that previous look off as nothing. Instead, you smile and wave as you approach Midoriya. “Hi Midoriya, did you just arrive?” 
He smiles over at you. “Yeah. I was just answering a couple emails before you guys arrived.” He glances over at Bakugou with a look that is surprisingly… pensive? “Hi Kacchan.” 
Bakugou grunts in greeting as he immediately starts making his way to Todoroki’s house. 
You cast one last look at Midoriya, who is already looking at you. Feeling the awkwardness start settling in, you turn and follow after Bakugou. 
There are more people at the party than you originally thought as Todoroki opens the door to greet you. You weren’t sure what to assume, only knowing that Shouto Todoroki is a relatively private person - but there is his entire class from the UA hero course and people you can only assume to be his family. Additionally, there are people you recognize from his agency - sidekicks and his manager, who (thankfully) you know. 
Besides that, you are completely on the outside. 
Perhaps this wasn’t the best idea. 
Still, Bakugou’s warning about Deku is too prevalent to back away from. Besides, you think bitterly, you yourself had said it best to Midoriya. You’re friends. 
You see Midoriya entering the house right behind you, and immediately make a beeline down the hallway. In your mind, the excuse is that you need to use the restroom. But asking Todoroki himself would subtract the ten minutes you’re banking on to find it. You’re not sure how long you’re going to be at this party. But every minute away from an unfamiliar crowd would be best. 
You do manage to find a bathroom at the end of the hallway, telling yourself that no one is out there wondering where you are as you fix up your appearance in the mirror. 
When you open the door, Mina is on the other side. She appears to be looking for something, until she sees you and you realize she’s looking for someone. For you. 
She exclaims your name, bounding towards you. “I thought I saw you!!” 
You shouldn’t be surprised that Mina is here, but your heart feels a little lighter knowing that you know another person. While dating Midoriya, you’ve had a few lunches or general hangouts with his old classmates. Everyone was always very friendly in that ‘this is my friend’s girlfriend’ type of way. From your memory, Mina was the someone who treated you more like a friend rather than Midoriya’s girlfriend. 
“H-Hi Mina,” you manage, trying for a small smile. “How are you?” 
“I’m good,” she says, mirroring your smile. “How about you? I… heard what happened.” 
“O-Oh really,” you reply, going stiff. 
“Yeah, from Izuku. I didn’t know right away that you guys had… broken up,” Mina explains. “I was also sent overseas after that big earthquake. But I’m sure it must have been challenging. Frankly, Izuku is an idiot for what he did!” 
You soften slightly. “Well… I wouldn’t say he’s an idiot. I think he just had to do what he thought was best.”
Mina smiles. “You’ve always been so nice and understanding. I’m glad to see that you’re doing well though! We should celebrate that.” 
You blink. “What do you mean?” 
“By letting me get you a drink, of course,” she exclaims, taking your wrist and dragging you back down the hallway. You catch Midoriya’s wandering gaze, but ignore him in favor of Mina taking you to the kitchen. She boasts about the soju and sake that Todoroki let her bring before the pair of you take a couple shots together. It leaves you warm, fuzzy, giggly, and prone to wandering around. 
Eventually, as Mina gets caught up in her own group of friends, you find yourself in the backyard of Todoroki’s house - the shishi-odoshi hitting the rock and bamboo echoing in the quiet night, the sound of your shoes crunching against the sand underneath your shoes. Todoroki has a little bamboo garden in the corner, fixed with a bench and other flowers whose color reflects off light from the house. 
Still cradling the mix Mina had poured for you, you take a seat on the bench. 
It feels like you’re sitting there for hours before you hear shoes crunching against the sand. You jolt, whirling in your seat and heart dropping when you see that it’s Midoriya himself making his way towards you. 
“M-Midoriya,” you stammer, tearing your gaze away first and staring down at your drink. “Did the party get overwhelming for you too?” 
He’s quiet as he takes a seat next to you. “Sort of,” he answers vaguely. “I also noticed that you weren’t with Mina anymore. I guess, I just wanted to see where you were.” 
You look at him. “You… knew I was hanging out with Mina?” 
He looks back at you. “Of course. I remember that you guys would talk whenever you hung out with my friends. Did you have a good time with her?” 
“Y-Yeah, we were just catching up,” you return, laughing softly. “I know it may look like it, but I wasn’t avoiding you or anything.” 
“You sure?” Midoriya asks. “Because it felt like every time I tried to look at you, maybe get a hello in or something, you would look away or run away.” 
Your hands suddenly feel wet and nervous. “M-Midoriya…” 
He sighs. “And that’s another thing. You don’t call me Izuku anymore.” He looks sad again. “I thought we were friends. But you call me by my last name and you avoid me and you…” he trails off, seeming to try and hype himself up for something. “Are you with Kacchan?” 
You blink, taken aback. “Am I what?” 
He gets nervous again. “Are you… dating Kacchan?” 
“No,” you reply dryly. “I’m not with Bakugou. He just drove us straight from the office. You of all people should know that I wouldn’t date my boss…” you cut yourself off, looking back down and frantically trying to figure out a way to end this conversation. “You know,” you say, just speaking words at this point. “You don’t need to be out here keeping me company. I’m sure your hero friends are more important than this,” you try to joke, but it comes out more serious than you were hoping. Your drunken words seem to unveil something unconscious inside of you that you thought you’d move on from. Goddamnit. 
Midoriya doesn’t say anything, as the reality of what you’ve said sinks in. You really hadn’t meant for it to come out that way. But here you are: drunk, cold, hurt, and feeling stupid. 
So you laugh, a hollow sound. “Wow, how much alcohol did Mina put into this? I better go find her and ask because this shouldn’t be allowed…” You’re standing up from the bench, leaving your drink behind, those internal red lights telling you to run despite your outward attempts to look composed. 
In fact, you are about to run because it’s just too awkward. But Midoriya calls your name, softly. And you, always drawn to him, just have to look back. 
He stands, slowly walking towards you. “I don’t know why I said those things. But I’ve always felt awful. I just never had the guts to apologize earlier.” 
You wring your hands. Was he really taking the bait now? He must have been drinking too. But his gaze is clear enough to tell you he’s taking this seriously, and you’re too scared to run away. So you speak quietly. “I know why you said that. And you do too. It’s because you love your job. You can say that you’re sorry but I’ve always felt like you put everyone else’s needs before mine or yours. So… don’t say you’re sorry. Not if you don’t mean it.” 
He’s quiet long enough that you turn around, about to return inside before Midoriya speaks again. “I was being selfish,” he announces, reflective enough to stop you. You turn around. He walks right up to you. “I thought about you everyday while I was gone. Hero work has always been important to me, yes, but you are my dream. You’re who I want to be with, who I want to love. I was stupid to take advantage of that.” 
Your lips part, a sensation filling your body. Is it relief? Perhaps, anxiety? 
You don’t pull away when his hand reaches out, waiting a moment as if expecting you to pull away. When you do not, he gently cups both your cheek, a movement so soft and warm that your heart melts a little. 
But… it doesn’t feel like enough. His touch alone cannot heal the wound you’ve unknowingly covered for a year and a half. Without meaning to, your eyes water. “What… What do you want, Midoriya?” 
He exhales softly, brushing a thumb along your cheek. “I just want to be with you.” 
That makes the breath catch in your throat, making you realize you are actually torn between that relief and anxiety. Relief that he feels the same. But anxiety because you don’t know if that is enough. “I feel like I’ve waited for you my whole life. But I don’t know if I can believe you.” 
His face falls as his eyebrows furrow and he closes his eyes. He leans forward, resting his forehead against yours. He breathes you in, breathes out. “I know,” he whispers. “After all that, I don’t know if I’d believe me either.” 
His eyes look disheartened and full of guilt. So much so that you cannot help but gently touch his nose with your own. “I’m not entirely innocent either. I said some mean things to you that night too, and I’m sorry. I should never have said you don’t care - that was wrong of me.”
He pulls away a little, but his hands are still on your cheek. Still sad but a little bit of hope glimmers. “No, you weren’t wrong for saying that. Once things calmed down overseas, Kacchan called me and gave me a lot of shit for what I said to you. I should have stayed, or talked things over with you. I’m sorry.” 
You inhale soft, feeling a weight lift off your chest and no longer feeling like you have to make a run for it. “It’s okay.” You smile a little. “I know I just said I’d have trouble believing you. But… I do believe that.” 
He laughs a little, more like a tiny exhale. His eyes are carefully watching your face now. “I’m glad.” 
Well, you think to yourself, now that everything's out in the open, it’s probably time to ask the important question. “What does this mean for us?” 
He hums softly, hands leaving your cheeks. But he does not pull away, likely trying to enjoy this moment as you are. His hands travel down to your waist, keeping you close. “I didn’t say all those things hoping we could try being together again. But I do want to say that…” he thumbs at the skin of your hip, always needing to be touching you. “I’m here. Really. I want to be here for you and for however long it takes you to believe me again.”
Your gaze flickers between his eyes, feeling the sincerity of his confession. “Thank you,” you reply softly. “I want to believe you again, and I want us to work together on that. I just think we need more time.” 
It’s neither a full rejection nor a full commitment - but enough where Midoriya grins brightly. “I’ll give you all the time in the world.” 
Honestly? At first, you think Midoriya is full of shit. Not in a bad way. Just in a tentative ‘is he really going to follow through’ perspective. You’ve always believed in Midoriya as a person. But considering the history, the daily ins and outs have required a little more work. 
Midoriya had been away for a year and a half. You may not know his favorite food anymore or his favorite movie or his favorite song to fall asleep to. But something you haven’t forgotten about him is that Midoriya always tries. 
Texts become more frequent, as Midoriya grows more eager to repair that bridge between the two of you. Surface level questions about your day turn back into similar text conversations of how things were when you were dating. He still enjoys checking up on you, asking about your day, and recalling memories that actually make you smile whilst reading them. Despite his behavior, he never actually pushes questions about your relationship. 
He trusts you to communicate, just as you start to trust him once more with your thoughts, feelings, and insecurities. You go from pretending to be alright with Midoriya to actually being alright with Midoriya. And it doesn’t fill you with doubt. It leaves you content, happy to be where you are with him. 
It comes to a headway about six months after Midoriya returns home - and you get injured at work. 
It’s nothing serious. You sprain your ankle after missing a step going down the stairs at the office. Most of the heroes you could have called were out fighting some big villain on the other side of town, so the agency itself was empty of any heroes or sidekicks. Hence, your friend from finance drives you to the hospital. A couple hours of waiting, and you are admitted and immediately given ice packs, a pillow for leg elevation, and a recommendation from the doctor to get an x-ray scan to ensure no broken bones.
You decide to give Kirishimia a call after your x-ray, reassured by the doctor that the turnaround time for the results would take a little over an hour. 
You almost regret trying to give him a call, considering what he was doing at the moment, but are surprised to hear him pick up the phone on the last ring. He calls your name, confused. “What’s going on? Is everything okay? I’m still caught up in the fight. More support has arrived so I think it’s wrapping up soon. Luckily we’ve been able to contain the damage but the first aid station is packed right now.” 
“Eijiro, I just wanted to let you know that I’m at the hospital. But I’m okay.” 
“What? The hospital? What happened? Is everything okay?” Kirishimia calls. “Do you need me to head over there?” A pause. “The police just arrived so I really do thing the fight will be over soon. Not every hero has to be present for the paperwork. I can come over right away.” 
“No, don’t,” you say. “I’m fine, it’s just a sprain. I already did the x-ray scan and am waiting to make sure nothing is broken.” You smile. “It’s alright, Eijiro. Focus on what’s more important - protecting the people.” 
Kirishima makes a tiny noise of protest, but seems to find some validity to your point. He is needed much more where he is. “Okay, fine. But call me when you hear the results.” 
You nod. “I will, thank you.” 
He hangs up, leaving you in the silence of the emergency room ward in a bed surrounded by a curtain. The waiting is long, leaving you with only your phone to occupy you. You watch some of the tailend of the big villain fight. Luckily, the damage was limited to just one of the skyscrapers due to all the heroes that rushed onto the scene. You catch sight of some familiar faces, of this echo of green lightning and immediately jump to thoughts about Midoriya. How was he doing? You hope he’s doing alright. He’s supposed to come over tonight, so perhaps you can ask him how he’s doing then. That is, if you’re able to be released from the hospital in time. 
You’re about to take a quick nap before you hear the doors to the emergency room fly open. At first, you assume it’s a patient since you are, after all, in the emergency wing. But then someone is exclaiming, “Mr. Deku, please calm down! If you just tell me who you’re looking for, I can tell you where they are. Please don’t disturb the other patients!” 
Deku’s name feels like a bolt of electricity running through you as you push yourself up to your forearms, trying hard not to apply pressure to your ankle as your eyes train themselves on the edge of the drawn privacy curtain. 
Suddenly, Midoriya appears, wide and imploring eyes that immediately zero in on you with laser sharp focus. 
“Midoriya!” you exclaim. “What-?” 
“Are you okay?” he asks, quickly walking over to stand next to you. Without warning, he takes your face in his hands. Eyes search your face, likely searching for any signs of anything physically or emotionally out of the ordinary. “What happened? Where did this happen? Who took you here? Did you drive here yourself?” 
“Midoriya,” you say carefully, firmly, watching the way he closes his mouth to let him speak. “I’m okay. I just hurt my ankle at the agency. H-How did you know I was here?” 
He sighs, releasing his hold on your face. But he moves down to your hand. “Kirishima told me. And… it’s like with anything I do. My body moved on its own and suddenly I was running here.” 
You frown up at him. “But weren’t you in the middle of a villain fight? You just left?” 
His thumb is rubbing your hand. He shrugs. “We had a lot of help. The damage was at a minimum and things were wrapping up anyways.” 
You look down, still lost. “But you love finishing up cases. You love reassuring people and always needing to make sure that other people are okay.”
His movement ceases, a time of silence he takes to kneel next to your bed. “Hey, look at me,” he says softly. You, helpless, look at him. “I know I was really bad at expressing this back when we were together. But I need you to know that you’re part of those people too. Not just that, but you’re the person I want to reassure the most and the person I need to make sure is the most okay. I’m sorry if you were thrown off by my arrival.” 
“No, not at all,” you reassure quickly, tightening your hold on his hand. “I was surprised, but in a good way.” 
He brightens at that, straightening up and kissing your forehead. “Okay. And I’m glad to see that you’re okay. Are they going to release you soon?” 
You nod. “I think so. I got an x-ray, so a doctor will be giving me the report soon. They just want to make sure that nothing is broken.” 
Midoriya brings your hand to his chest. “Can I wait here with you?” 
You give him a private smile. “I’d like that.” 
So Midoriya sits on the bed with you. Neither of you talk about his confession or what it means for the both of you. You just sit and joke around like no time has passed. He’ll occasionally fuss over your ankle, but it doesn’t last long. The doctor comes around and confirms no broken bones. He follows it up with strict orders to rest for the next four to six weeks before allowing you to leave. 
The doctor comments about how nice it is for your boyfriend to take time off from heroing to see you off. You smile, hold Midoriya’s hand, and try to sort through the butterflies in your stomach. 
.
Four to six weeks later, you take the subway to Midoriya’s neighborhood. His house is a place you’ve been to once, solely for work purposes so you still have the address on your phone. To be honest, you’re not even sure if Midoriya is home in the middle of the day. It’s Sunday, his new day off (or so he’s told you), so you imagine that he’s likely home resting. You hope so anyways. 
Well, only one way to find out. You knock on the door with one hand, using the other to balance the tray of breads and desserts you’ve just picked up from that expensive bakery in the city. If he isn’t home, you might just have to leave it on the front steps… 
The door swings open, revealing Midoriya in his casual attire of jeans and a shirt that says SUNDAY on the front.
You make it a point not to stare at the shirt in favor of looking at Midoriya’s frantic look. “Hi,” you greet cheerfully, holding up the box of pastries. “I wanted to bring you something.” 
“Baby, what are you doing?” he asks, dragging you in by the waist. “You just got out of the hospital, you shouldn’t be walking right now!” He’s pouting cutely. He’s been more generous with his touches and nicknames since your return to the hospital, and it’s put you on a hopeful high where maybe… perhaps… he’s down to go out and give this another shot. 
“I’m fine, Izuku,” you say mindlessly, not trying to fight your way out of his hold. You just hold up that box of pastries. “I was on strict house arrest orders from my boss and got daily visits from a certain someone so not only am I very well-rested, I am antsy. I’m not allowed back at work so it’s only right that I get a little bit of exercise. And I know how much you love this bakery and… are you okay?” 
You stop because Midoriya is looking at you with that soft smile on his face - the same kind of smile he’d wear before telling you something important. 
“No, it’s nothing,” Midoriya brushes off. He just takes the box from you and rests it on the table near his door. “You just called me Izuku.” 
A little bit of your cheerful disposition from before vaporizes. “Oh. Um, yes… I did.” You gaze up at him. You were speaking a little too freely. Even though you and Midoriya are in a really good spot, there are still some things that haven’t been firmly established yet. Like, for example, what the specific label of your relationship was. “Is that too much? It sort of just slipped out, I’m sorry…” 
“No, don’t apologize,” he says hastily, wrapping his arms back around you. “I guess with what happened between us and your trip to the hospital… things have just been feeling different.” 
“They have!” you say, a little relieved. So his question wasn’t for disappointment, it was just curiosity. Again, you’ve underestimated his kindness and his love for you. But you refuse to back down again. “I… actually came here for another reason.” 
His gaze is still trained on you. 
You keep your head up. “I’m here to ask you out.” 
Midoriya tilts his head, not fully understanding. “You wanna get lunch?”
“No, no, I meant… like, I want to go out with you. Date you. Try being your girlfriend again.” 
His eyes widen, bringing you closer to him. “Are you serious? You… you want to try dating? You… believe in me now?” 
His words from Todoroki’s party flash in your mind: I just want to be with you.
You nod. “I really believe in the things you’ve been doing to balance your life out more. I know you’re doing those things for yourself, and seeing you make the choice to take a day off or seeing me at the hospital made me happy. It makes me want to try being with you again, knowing that we’ve grown enough to put in our best effort.” 
Midoriya smiles at that, big and bright as he cups your cheeks. “I promise you that I’ll never make you regret this.” And you, filled with so much love and hope for this, kiss him. He kisses you back, firm, simultaneously scooping you up in his arms. 
You gasp out against his mouth, that shock turning into a fit of giggle. “Izuku, what are you doing?” 
“I’m protecting your ankle!” he points out playfully. “Want to come down?” 
You pretend to contemplate. He’s lifting you up so easily. “Hmm, actually no. Maybe I’ll just stay here and let you lead the way.” 
He leans up towards you, signaling what he wants next. You indulge him easily, leaning down halfway to press your forehead against his. He closes his eyes, breathes you in. “I definitely intend to,” he says.
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megumimania · 2 years ago
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JJK TRIO HCS
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WARNINGS: none
GENRE: headcanons
a/n: this was from my old acc with the same name likes and reblogs are appreciated !
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megumi is a light sleeper anything could wake him up if you tried hard enough
nobara and yuji on the other hand, are deep sleepers they could literally sleep through the apocalypse
megumi usually wakes them up with his divine dogs in the mornings or before they have missions
I feel like megumi is lowkey a good actor i dont know whether it’s because he graduated from the gojo school of theatrics or he’s really good at putting on a front. like father like son i know
nobara has the worst punctuality out of the three of them, she actively tries to be more punctual but ends up being more late lmao
yuji had a great british bakeoff phase where he’d tried to recreate the deserts on the show and well…
lets just say he accidentally gave the first and second years food poisoning due to an underbaked flan and since then he’s strayed far away from desserts
yuji also has great hearing like NOTHING gets past him that’s how he found out what the first and second years was getting eachother for christmas
speaking of christmas, yuji tends to leave everything last minute, which means he ends up running around the mall trying to find a gift literally an hour before closing
megumi is an avid crocheter like he especially loves crocheting stuffed animals for his dogs to play with or just to give to his friends
nobara is very active on social media especially on twitter where she has a fairly large following from arguing with people on there and for giving style tips too
If megumi wasn’t a sorcerer he would be either a vet or an archeologist (megumi just gives me mega history nerd vibes )
yuji would probably be a teacher probably a first grade or kindergarten pe teacher (he would be great with kids fight me!)
nobara would probably be a fashion influencer or a travel blogger
in light of that tiktok trend, megumi is ‘okokokok’ while nobara and yuji are ‘lalalalala’
when yuji ‘died’ nobara used to sleep in his room along with megumi, it was the only place where they both managed to get a full night of sleep
megumi texts in lowercase (bro turn on your autocaps 💀)
nobara’s texts vary according to her mood
yuuji texts in all caps (we know you’re happy damn 😒)
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localplaguenurse · 2 years ago
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Yk that one tiktok trend where we meet the younger versions of ourselves and we say a few things
What would wifey say if they ever saw their younger self because of a leyline disruption or something.
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Me @ the prompt and also the art
Man you got me when I'm trying to put my writing powers to something else and I'm torn between if I want to fully write this out or keep it short and sweet
I'm kinda going off of what I can find on both the genshin wiki and actual articles about ley lines for this but unless I'm reading it wrong, my understanding is they recreate/repeat memories, and I can't find anything really about how interactable these memories are so 1. fuck it, we ball, and 2. if literally anyone knowledgeable about ley lines sees this and I get something wrong, help me
It's a familiar sight at the monastery. The fan shaped leaves, still green, gently rustle as the wind flows through them. Small wildflowers pop up in the grass, adding more colour to the greenery.
Crumpled to their knees, sobbing into bandaged hands, sits a young bride. Their dress is striking silk red, tailored to fit them alone yet it has never felt right on their body. The fear, the anger, and the utter grief over losing all they have ever had radiates off of them like heat from a flame. They were a caretaker once, but after today, they are property, a sacrificial virgin offered up to a god for the protection of their loved ones. Their loved ones who so graciously tossed them at the feet of this god the first chance they saw.
The memory is painful enough as is, but to actually see your younger self in front of you is surreal, and the sight causes a deep visceral dread in your body.
When your youngest son had come to you, pale as a sheet, saying this nonsense about how he saw you crying in the orchard, you almost wanted to laugh. That's impossible, you've been in the courtyard all day catching up with some old friends. Still, that disturbed demeanor, that level of fear and worry in his eyes, is not an expression that can be made up on a whim. No one makes that sort of face unless they have genuinely seen something bad. Regardless of what he truly saw, your son saw something upsetting, and it is your job as his mother to help him.
You sent him away to go eat lunch with the rest of his siblings, promising you will fix it by the time they are done. You walked through the monastery until you had reached the orchard. You walked beneath the towering ginkgo trees, looking around for any sort of intruder. There shouldn't be any monsters about, so what did he see?
Near the very edge of the orchard, you spy the colour red. Your heart rate stutters, but you try to steady yourself as you cautiously approach. With each step, you can hear the faintest of sobbing, and the exact voice, each hiccup and sniffle and cry, it all becomes so familiar. Your mouth fills with saliva, your stomach twists, and your chest feels tighter.
And here you are.
Or is it there you are?
It has been... goodness, almost thirty years since you've been in that exact dress. You have hardly aged since your bond with Morax was put in place, with the only passing of time on your body being the growth of your hair, the fading of scars, and stretchmarks and bit of leftover weight gained from past pregnancies. Still, this young woman is so, so young. They've hardly even begun adulthood, only just having shed their teenage years. Their sobbing is childish, quite literally immature, for they are still practically a child.
The memory of you makes your heart ache for so many reasons. That day was a very upsetting day, and you don't understand what you're doing here. Why are you seeing this memory, this ghost of your past life, despite the fact you are still alive and breathing? Not to mention that this version of you is only a couple years younger than your oldest daughter, and with how your youngest three children all resemble you, it really does feel like you're watching one of your children crying on their wedding day.
What mother wouldn't console their daughter when they're this upset?
You carefully approach, and you sit on the ground next to them. They are still crying when you do. With unease on your mind, you lift a hand up and touch their back. There's warmth in their body, and you can feel silk on your fingertips.
They stop crying when you put your arms around them. You pull them close, cradling their head against your shoulder. You hold them like that, waiting to see if something will happen, like the figure disappearing from your hold, or reality suddenly breaking.
"... You're going to be okay," you whisper, "we're going to be okay."
They're shaking a little as they try to hold in their - your - sobs.
"You have every right to be as angry and as scared as you are," you tell yourself, "it wasn't fair. He's truly wonderful, and loves you so much, but it wasn't fair to you." You run your fingers through your younger self's hair. "He will make it up to you, and you do not have to forgive her for giving you away. I still haven't, and I don't think I will, but what matters most right now is that you will be okay."
"... Thank you."
You let yourself go, and you're gone. You feel tears in your eyes, and you quickly wipe them away. It's... odd. You feel like there's a weight off of your shoulders, despite the fact that this experience should rattle you to your core.
You do not know if they understand who you are. You do not know if what you did will have any affect on them, if they'll remember it or if they'll have been completely reset if you ever see them again. You think you would do it again, though. You think you would tell them all of that over and over again, say the words you wished you had heard that dreadful day.
You take a deep breath, stand up, and head back to the monastery.
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0th3rw0rldl1n3ss · 2 months ago
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Sometimes I feel like as a teen I went back and forth a lot between “liking basic stuff means you’re shallow and boring” and “liking obscure stuff makes you sound fake deep and pretentious” and eventually got to “it’s actually way more insufferable to be obsessed with not seeming shallow or pretentious to the point that it results in self repression and impacts what you allow yourself to enjoy” and every so often I have to remind myself of this.
So much “enjoyment” around me in my life has felt performative and inauthentic, of both the mundane and of the more niche- consumerist culture, especially pertaining to short lived trends, and societal expectations and values are some factors at play here (I could get into this more, but what I’m saying now is meant to be more about the effects of broader socialpolitical contexts on how people approach recreation, and how people are affected on an individual, or at least a smaller scale, rather than an analysis of the contexts themselves).
I think about trends that come in go within months, or even less, and how people will buy piles of cheaply made slop just to throw it all away a year later and make TikToks about their “cringe phase(s)”. I think about how making art and posting it for other people to see is referred to as “content creation” and artists of all sorts are expected to pump out work like machines, unless they want to be punished by algorithms, maybe even berated by their own fans. So many buzzwords with so little substance.
To me, all of this reeks of people starving of things that actually make them feel enjoyment in a way that feeds their soul and leaves them fulfilled and replenished. I don’t deny the possibility that this could be a projection of my own experiences, but to me, it looks like trying and failing to fill a void, at least in part.
I am trying to learn to enjoy things again with the wonder that I used to have as an autistic child- before school, before I started to become aware of the these contradictory, empty unsaid expectations around things- that in theory, should be about having fun. I’m trying to learn how to play again as an adult and what that means for me. Trying to learn to embrace my intuition instead of ignoring it (in general, but in this context, specifically in regards to what I do or don’t enjoy, how I enjoy it, etc). Play is important for development and emotional wellbeing in a child, but I think it’s very easy to underestimate how important is for adults, too.
I hope if there’s anything you take from this post, it’s some encouragement to find ways to play that feel natural and right for you. This may not work for everybody, but I’ve been trying to do things that I remember enjoying a lot as a kid. Getting back into Minecraft, playing it with low expectations and just screwing around, letting my imagination roam. Trying to approach making art and reading books like I’m playing instead of performing labor. Making concoctions out of things I find outside just because I can. Digging out my old toys from the basement, choosing some to bring out to add some whimsy to my bedroom. Trying to let myself stim more freely and unashamedly, at least when possible. When I can get past my anxiety enough to do so, getting dressed up and wearing things that I think are fun instead of wearing mundane things and trying to make myself less noticeable. This week I got on my childhood swing in the middle of the night. It’s been very difficult for me to get immersed, due to the weight of everything, but it’s been worth it to keep trying.
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newhappythoughts · 7 months ago
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Honestly the @/kokobot thing has shaken me and I need to talk about it.
I don't know how old people that follow me are, but if you're in your early twenties or older you probably have been around the conversation of how common it was for barely teenage kids to go in the internet and have conversations with "random" people who were actively suicidal. Those "me at 13 telling my 24 yo only friend to not kill themselves" tiktoks that became a trend some time ago.
The thing is, this bot is recreating this situation. It's praying on people desesperated enough to vent to anyone and making that people give advice to other dessesperated people. This adds to the fact that the people most likely to need to go into the internet for support and community are kids and teens, that feed each other toxic ideas that they have learned in their already toxic enviroment. And if you're my age you know this! You've probably also been a deeply sad kid whose friends reblogued each others self-deprecating and self-harming thoughts and feelings. But it's worst!! because with how the bot works anyone could be the person giving the advice!!
In the first post you get if you search kokobot you can see how it paired a person that was worried they inappropriately touched someone else to a (to the bot knowledge) grooming victing that goes to school!!!!!!!
The internet is more accesible than never to pre-teens that don't have anyone to tell them the actual dangers of being online. We get websides that constantly censor words because they're "innapropriate" (like having to say korn or sewerslide on tiktok) yet when it comes to things that are ACTUALLY DANGEROUS towards kids, everything goes.
WE HAVE ALREADY GONE THROUGH THIS, WE ALREADY KNOW THAT CONNECTING PEOPLE MEANS EVERYONE GETS CONNECTED REGARDLESS OF INTENTION.
So please, if you actually want to "protect the kids" do not promote or use this bot. And if you're one of those people that comes in contact with people oversharing in vent channels and discords, try to educate kids on internet safety. Teens in the internet in bad mental health situations can trust anyone that does as little as to listen to them (from experience), it's important as adults to tell them (nicely) when they're sharing too much and how anyone could be reading what they write. I know it's depressing to think that people could have bad intentions, but it's important to know: Stranger Danger aplies to your mutuals too.
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dragonsruby · 3 months ago
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There are so many things that I am astounded haven't been made into animated films or series or the like, and a hand drawn Cats musical is one of them.
Like, I get that they tried with the live-action Cats (haha), but seriously, have people not seen the old Disney classics or DeviantArt OCs or Animal Jam or Warrior Cats trends or freakin' My Little Pony?! Making something that children can easily recreate with pen and paper is the fastest way to sell toys and models and drawing books and whatever the heck else you want! People, not just children, love seeing animals on magical adventures, and if it's something that they can recreate and not just watch, you'd be selling DVDs and Blu-Rays and online viewings and meetings with the actors and Broadway re-runs?!
If media is dominated by capitalistic greed or something like that, then embrace the people who create things and sell with them in mind, not whatever popular TikTok trend is going on!
youtube
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5ft2sunflower · 2 years ago
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Cluttercore: Why The 2010s Blogger Aesthetic Is Back In Style
SOPHIE LOU WILSON LAST UPDATED 7 MARCH 2023, 5:28
f you were online in the early 2010s, you probably remember the emergence of several digital fashion subcultures. Tumblr kids in fishnet tights and scuffed Dr. Martens established their scuzzy, soft grunge aesthetic. Meanwhile, fashion bloggers with Lookbook.nu accounts posted ‘fit pics in skinny jeans, camel coats and heeled ankle boots. Elsewhere, in the blogosphere, teenagers rummaged in their closets to try and recreate avant-garde runway looks or scoured thrift stores for original 1960s shift dresses to pair with clashing knee-highs. 
The latter’s mismatched, vintage aesthetic is now experiencing a revival courtesy of it-girls like Bella Hadid, Iris Law and Emma Chamberlain who, lately, have been experimenting with mixed textures, colourful patterns and kitschy accessories that wouldn’t look out of place on a late-00s style blog like Susie Lau’s Style Bubble or Tavi Gevinson’s Style Rookie. Back then, these bloggers and their contemporaries cultivated an anti-minimalist “cluttercore” fashion aesthetic characterised by rainbow hues, mismatched textures and a studied interest in vintage style. Celebrities like Elle Fanning, Florence Welch and Alexa Chung were also known for dressing in this chaotic, twee-adjacent style at the time, while established fashion faces like Iris Apfel and Anna Dello Russo were often credited as formative influences.
At the same time, popular blogging platform Blogger counted more than 2 million blogs related to fashion on their platform alone. Among these were diary-like personal style blogs that mixed backyard self-timer outfit portraits with fashion commentary, life updates, vintage mood boards, scans of scrapbooks, and film stills. The outfits themselves were experimental, involving lots of layering and a mixing of different vintage eras.
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Photo: Steven Simione/FilmMagic.
Emma Chamberlain at Spotify’s Best New Artist party in 2023.
Fast-forward to now. In February of this year, Chamberlain channeled a familiar aesthetic at Spotify’s Best New Artist party, wearing a cropped cream sweater vest layered over a pale green silk shirt and cream maxi. The neutral colour palette and loose-fitting outfit divided opinion, with some saying it made her look like “a grandmother.” However, similar comments were often directed at teen blogger Gevinson, of Style Rookie, who went as far as dyeing her hair grey in 2010 at the peak of her blog’s fame. In 2011, the then-15-year-old wrote on her blog, “Challenge beauty standards! Screw convention! Look like a grandmother on ecstasy at Fashion Week!” There was an element of anti-fashion to the look which defied style codes often dictated by traditional media at the time that certain colours and patterns must never mix or that young women should dress for the male gaze.
Gevinson, who is better known today for playing Kate Miller in the Gossip Girl reboot, was the blueprint for many of the personal style blogs launched by young people in the first half of the 2010s. Her blog swelled with a distinctive aesthetic, delineated by the radical DIY of ‘90s riot grrrl, the hazy girlhood of Sofia Coppola films and backyard outfit photos in tulle skirts and granny sweaters. Some of the clothes she wore on her blog were even costumes she’d played dress-up with as a child. Others came from her local Salvation Army.  
In a TikTok, trend forecaster Mandy Lee said that Gevinson “made a lot of girls question why they seek permission for dressing how they want to,” adding that, “she discusse[d] fashion as a truly joyful self-expression despite being criticised by largely grown-ups.” 
Eerie, 25, a fashion designer and zine editor from London, had a personal style blog from 2013 to 2018. They describe their style at the time as an expressive hodgepodge of eras and aesthetics. “I particularly liked ‘40s, ‘60s and ‘70s style mixed in with ‘90s grunge and ‘80s pops of colour and acid wash for quite a lot of my blogging days,” they say. “Each successful look inspired more efforts to experiment, to go further, to try more out-there things. And largely being documented at home, a lot of experimentation was possible without anything such as practicality getting in the way.”
The peak of fashion blogging coincided with the rise of thrifting which is perhaps why so many bloggers adopted such a mismatched vintage aesthetic. Depop launched in 2011 and vintage shopping became increasingly popular in imitation of the decade's it-girls like Chung and Irina Lazareanu. 
TikTok encourages a similar amalgamation of vintage eras today as revivals coexist, overlap and feed into each other. Indeed, the style blogger fashion revival itself is perhaps yet another iteration of the ‘true-thousands’ trend, the next step on from ubiquitous Y2K fashions and instead a closer reflection of how people really dressed in the late aughts. For those in their mid-late twenties, it’s a return to the media, culture and aesthetics of their adolescence so, much like the Tumblr revival, it’s also driven by sped-up nostalgia.
The proliferation of different trends and aesthetics popularised by TikTok and existing at the same time provides a rich sartorial landscape for young people to experiment with. Like Tumblr's and Blogger’s fashion communities 10 years ago, TikTok is providing a platform for teenagers to play around with style and have thoughtful discussions about clothes. Get ready with me videos and trend analyses can sometimes cultivate the same intimate feeling as personal style blogs. 
After all, the cluttercore and weird girl aesthetics that have flourished on TikTok thanks to the likes of Hadid and Law have much in common with the messy, clashing styles that distinguished 2010s fashion blogs. It feels like the logical endpoint to ‘trendcore’ because, rather than following one trend, style blogging was often about mixing everything together at the same time. This amalgamation of aesthetics blurs the lines of any preconceived fashion guidelines. While the style blogger may be an aesthetic in its own right, it’s also a call to explore personal style beyond the trends fed to us by the algorithm.
There’s a growing nostalgia for the perceived authenticity of fashion blogging. Most of these style bloggers were independent and didn’t plan their content or outfits based on either pleasing algorithms or pleasing other people IRL. The disruptive movement inspired legions of teens around the world to dress up in outfits people at school thought were ‘weird’, start thrifting just before it was popular and have fun with fashion outside of what was considered trendy. 
The aesthetic makes a convincing case for finding joy in fashion and experimenting with personal style rather than chasing every new ‘core’ that comes along. It encourages real excitement about getting creative with the clothes you already have in your wardrobe and therein lies the thrill of it. 
Blogging encouraged exploration and pulling from fashion and cultural history to create an outfit, applying the same creative thought process that might go into other art forms. The inspiration, often explored in accompanying long-form text, mood board or film stills, was just as important as the finished look. 
As the meeting point between Tumblr fashion and the weird girl aesthetic, it’s not hard to see why there’s nostalgia for this subculture of digital fashion history. In a time when trends come and go faster than ever, experimenting with personal style and pushing fashion boundaries can be a thrilling antidote to trend fatigue. Whether you engaged with it at the time or not, consider this a call to dress creatively and connect with your inner teen.  Or... grandma.
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bo-ying · 7 days ago
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Blog 6 : Let's talk about the APT.
Recently the social media has come with a great wave of APT. by Bruno Mars and Rose, which the song is based of the entertainment game of Korean teenagers played under a situation contains wine and alcohols. Therefore, in the song itself, there are many elements of fun and play vibe been contained.
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With a clear idea of music background of this song, and general rhyme of music style the song quickly hits the top of Spotify and TikTok. With the "Trend Hounds" smell that catchy songs to use in their own creation, many TikTok creator started to rapidly use the song over and over, which spread the song like a covid in the 19; quick and unstoppable. The most popular recreate version was from a Indian You tube creator Sandaru Sathsara that not only brings Apt on to the viral again, but also brings the recreation work and the creator benefit. With no harm in the this recreation many of the similar creations had been pop up in the stream.
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While you listen to the song the Word "APT" had been constantly been say in and repeated in the songs. which the word comes from the Korean alcohol game I mention earlier. It is a shorten words from "Apartment" which means 아파트 in Korean. which reeded as "A-Pa-Tsu." Using it as the creation background Rose and Bruno Mars had use the song to make you felt been contains in the game while the lyrics been process.
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That's Learn about the game "아파트":
The rules of the APT drinking game are very simple. In short, it's a type of stacking hands game. Here's how to play:
Participants sit in a circle, and before the game starts, everyone chants "아파트, 아파트, 아파트" together, then randomly stack their hands on top of each other. One player randomly calls out a number, and then the person at the bottom starts counting while pulling out their hands. When the number that was called is reached, the person whose hand corresponds to that number must drink.
For example, after the players have stacked their hands, if someone calls the number 7, the person at the bottom starts counting from 1 and continues until they reach 7. The person who says "7" must drink, and then the game starts over.
It's a fun and easy game to play, and it's not awkward whether you're playing with new or old friends. Next time you're hanging out with friends, consider adding the "아파트" game to liven up the atmosphere!
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fluentinfashionfmd · 1 year ago
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Matilda Djerf's Influence on Fashion
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Hey, fashion lovers!
We meet again! This week on Fluent In Fashion, we’re discussing a Swedish Influencer who has a major influence on fashion, especially within Gen Z, the “TikTok generation.” She created her own multi-million dollar empire through modeling, displaying her “to-die for” lifestyle on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, and founding her own brand, Djerf Avenue. 
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Matilda Djerf has defined mainstream style for a whole generation in 2022 - here's how she did it - CORQ 
Everything We Know About Matilda Djerf's NYC Pop-Up
8 questions with Instagram's 'it girl' Matilda Djerf, who started a $34 million fashion empire at 22 years old  
This is Matilda Djerf, the “poster girl for scandi cool” (The New York Times). She is 25-years old, and doing great things in the world of fashion. Matilda Djerf is considered to be a trend-setter, with her perfectly blow-dried curtain bangs, glossy sun-kissed skin, and beautiful sense of fashion and style. Her brand, Djerf Avenue displays a classy range of non-seasonal, ready-to-wear looks. Her models are of all shapes, sizes, and ethnicities, which is wonderful to see in a world where diversity in fashion models is not always seen. Djerf Avenue also offers a re-sell option on the website, where shoppers can list any item they would like to sell instead of it going to waste.
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Djerf Avenue
DJERF AVENUE HAUL 
Djerf Avenue: Epitome of Ethical - SHEESH MAGAZINE
Since Ms. Djerf has a pretty signature look, I want to focus on her general style, instead of one outfit in particular. In order to get the Djerf look, here’s what you need: 
An oversized top. This could be a blazer, a button-up shirt, a leather jacket, or a peacoat. You name it, as long as it’s oversized!
A fitted undershirt, or no shirt underneath. Matilda Djerf often has a baby tee or a nice tank top in her most classic looks, but occasionally we see her with an oversized blazer that’s buttoned with nothing underneath. Chic!
Baggy trousers. The pants either match the blazer she’s wearing or they are a neutral, beige color. Not a fan of trousers? A nice skirt will do. This could be maxi, mini, midi, knit, silk, whatever you’d like. Most often black or neutral colors.
As for shoes, there is a variety. Matilda switches her shoe choices from Balance or Adidas sneakers, sandals with a stiletto heel, or a leather boot.
Lastly, accessorize with a baguette bag, some gold jewelry, and a scarf if it's cold outside!
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The Matilda Djerf Style Guide: How to Achieve Her Vintage Chic Style
How to Recreate Matilda Djerf's Iconic Autumn/Winter Wardrobe -
Zoella Get Matilda Djerf's 'It' Girl Style For Less - Stolen Inspiration
Voilá! Here is your 5-step guide on how to achieve the classic look of Matilda Djerf. I hope that all of our beautiful fashion lovers out there can take inspiration from Matilda Djerf and her ethical fashion choices and brand. 
See you next week for the queens of K-Pop!
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NewJeans Owned 2022. They're Going Even Bigger in 2023 
XOXO,
Lauren
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Reading, 'Pictures or It Didn’t Happen: Photo-nostalgia, iPhoneography and the Representation of Everyday Life'
Adolescents and young adults have recently become interested in the classical aesthetic, which has resurfaced due to the fascination with the childhood lives of their parents and older relatives.
The past has been recycled into new micro-trends inspired by vintage aesthetics. This new obsession with the old, however, has changed the way we create and perceive feelings of nostalgia, removing the original melancholy longing and transforming it into a trivial need for authenticity. real. We do this through fashion by circling clothing trends from the 80s and 90s. The tradition of nostalgia is especially present in vintage faux-photography, where online users recall it. An example of this that I was reminded of, ironically seen on Instagram, was BOOTH by Bryant. Representing the materialisation of an authentic old-fashioned way of capturing a moment in time, Bryant was swept away by the ongoing craze that he was influenced by an MTV Photobook from the early 2000's and decided to create a means for nostalgia among young people on social media. Unintentionally intensifying the trend, Bryant utilised analog technology to make art, bringing back to reality the utilisation of authentic materials of photography instead of artificial filters and effects to capture intimate, vintage portraits of his friends. Yet in a world where anything can be digitally recreated, Bryant’s booth was instantly recycled and copied, creating an entire TikTok/Instagram microtrend called the photobooth trend. 
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In the article, questions are asked about assessing the trend of taking vintage fake photos as well as the intentions behind the behaviour of passionate users using vintage retouching tools, filters and effects. As digital media evolves, more apps are introduced, giving users the option to choose a vintage camera from before and take a picture with it, or use a template to achieve the aesthetic. Through vintage photo editing, users value and consistency their images by incorporating a sense of nostalgia experienced in the first place.
This article would link to my artist models who dabble in nostalgia and appeal to my approach on this brief.
https://canvas.aut.ac.nz/courses/15626/files/4467941
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incorrectbatfam · 2 years ago
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Could you do a Jason and Damian bonding headcanons, please?
The first time one of them said "I love you" was in the heat of battle when Jason said it along with, "You better not die again, brat"
When Damian is angry, Jason will put on sparring gloves and tell Damian to have at it until he wears himself out and calms down
Damian knows when Jason has violent thoughts even if he doesn't talk about them—it's a League instinct
Jason can bench twice Damian's weight—they found out when Damian sat on a barbell because "this was my spot first"
When it comes to Damian, Jason's fear isn't the katana or assassin-like stealth, but the fact that he's a mirror image of Bruce
Back in the League, Jason once caught Damian playing with his mother's makeup and covered for him while Damian cleaned up
Jon teaches Damian TikTok dances and Damian teaches Jason
Jason's not allowed to pick Damian up from school alone on account of the time he pulled up on a motorcycle blasting AC/DC and shouted "I'M HERE MOTHERFUCKER"
Damian wanted to know what the ocean is like but Nanda Parbat was far from one, so Jason recreated it with melted snow and shell-shaped rocks
Damian cooked, and Jason was the last to say "not it" to trying it
One time Alfred told Damian to give Jason some fruits and vegetables so Damian gave him a single strawberry
When Damian is tired, he'll steal Jason's whole coffee maker and put it in his room
Damian knows about Roy sneaking into Jason's room at night
Jason's idea of cooking is slapping a huge piece of meat on the grill and calling it a day, much to Damian's protests
Jason lets Damian have a small sip of wine under supervision
Jason's the only one who lets Damian fight the way he feels most confident
They went sledding on an old table top
They can play ping pong blindfolded, but only against each other
Damian literally owns the world's smallest violin, which he busts out whenever Jason retells his death
Jason once went a whole road trip without noticing Damian in the back seat
Damian can mimic police sirens and Jason hates it
Jason attests that Damian can drive, but he'll also attest that Damian is the worst driver ever
Their have each other's contacts saved as "Bat Brat" and "Dead Hood"
They have bonfire s'mores on Jason's grave
Damian sticks Jason's mugshot to the fridge with alphabet magnets
Jason knows Damian hates surprise parties so he always tells him when the family is throwing one
They have a Jane Austen book club
The first time Damian got his heart broken (in the League, by Ra's) Jason was the one who picked up the pieces
Damian uses his prodigious art skills to speed-draw Jason in everyday life when he's not looking
They got #CancelBruceWayne trending for April Fool's
Jason occasionally writes poetry and Damian doodles in the margins
They can't beat each other in a bare fistfight
When Damian gets excited about something, Jason makes sure nobody can ruin it
Jason leaves sauce packets all over the place to confuse Damian
They know each other's limits and consistently toe the line
Damian submits a fake job application under Jason's name to Build-A-Bear
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