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#and put poor eddie in therapy PLEASE
buck-up-buck · 17 days
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Soooooo I didn’t do this last season but I decided to do a bingo card for everything I think/would like to happen in season 8- let’s talk about it shall we.
Let's talk about the obvious- the one thing I think the fandom all collectively wants. Mr Diaz to come out of the goddamn closet. Now, Gay Eddie makes so much sense, but also, so does Demisexual Eddie. I feel like, especially with his relationship with Shannon, him coming out as Demi would make so much sense.
I would respectfully like the writers to leave Henren alone this season. Give them a win, give them Mara back, let Hen beat the shit out of Ortiz, and then leave them ALONE. I want no drama for my moms this season please and thank you.
Now saying that (don't hate me) I think Hen is due a major injury... I am just saying, if someone is gonna be hurt this season, it being Hen would make sense.
RIGHT, give me a BuckTommy argument, give me some BuckTommy angst, and then, have them make-up. We have seen so much growth for Buck these past few seasons, let's see him resolve a problem in his relationship by communicating. And then, have them make out afterwards. Please.
I feel like we are so overdue a Halloween episode. We have a full season this time around so I want them to make full use of it. Saying that, let me also bring in the fact that I do also want a Christmas/Thanksgiving episode as well. Give me family bonding with the 118. Another Christmas Party, Bathena using their new place to host Thanksgiving, something, anything.
I know we all want it but, GET GERRARD FIRED. I don't want him to be injured, I don't want him to die, I don't want them to skip over the arc they ended with entirely. I want someone to get dirt on him, and take it to the chief, and for his ass to be dragged out of that firehouse.
I don't know where this sudden obsession with seeing Sal again has come from, but I would love a Sal redemption arc, or even for him to be a little bitch for Gerrard and also get dragged through the mud. Just, Sal.
SHALL WE INJURE OUR FAVOURITE HOT PILOT. I am not saying a major injury, but something, a little sprinkle of worried!Buck. Let's see him panic over his boyfriend.
I know I will hate it if It actually happens, but a mid-season cliffhanger. I think, we need something to keep us on our toes while they break. GIve me "missing groom" but more drama.
I have been asking for this since season 3 but GIVE ME A MADDIE BEGINS EPISODE. I want to see baby Maddie meeting Doug for the first time, I want to see them moving to Boston, and then moving back. The first time he hit her and his pussy ass apology. The day she escapes, and her journey to Buck. I BEG.
Bring Chris home please. Just, give Eddie his son back. PLEASE.
I want a Bathena cracking a case wide open and going full blown detective. I want to see Bobby with a murder board and Athena being so done with her husband but so in love. Give me treassure hunt vibes, but just, Bathena solving murder.
RIGHT- HERE ME OUT (this will get a separate post here). I want a Buddie begins episode. I want, realisations, and then, flashbacks galore. I want snippets of Buddie during Bucks recovery after the bombing, different POV's of things that have happened throughout the seasons, Buck sleeping on Eddie's floor the night he got home after the snipper. I want- I want so much.
Saying that, I also want, another Buddie argument. I want an argument over Buck and Tommy, or over Chris, or over work, just, give me, some Buddie beef. And then another hug when they make up. (or a kiss lol)
HOW ABOUT WE GIVE OUR OG GAY BOY A BOYFRIEND. Give Josh some loving.
BuckTommy having a dinner date with Bathena and/or Madney. URG, yes please. Cute vibes all the way.
Right, so when Madney got married, I so wanted the fact that Jee had a baby-girl balloon to foreshadow another baby. I know they were in a hospital and improvising, but OMG that would be such good foreshadowing. I want Maddie freaking out because what if she messes up again, I want Chimney doing the same, thinking he is going to lose Maddie, and then I what them to talk about it. I want Maddie to witness all the firsts she missed with Jee. I want another Madney baby. Or give them a dog. That will appease me.
Dosed is probably one of my favourite episodes ever, so if we could get another episode on par with dosed and jinxed, I would love.
Let’s get Mr Diaz in therapy shall we. I want to see Franks reaction to all the shit he did in S7.
I mean, I wish for this every season just because I love whumping my favourite Buckley so bad, but how about wr injure Buck again. Give me worried!Tommy/worried!Eddie/Dad!Bobby.
It would be such a missed opportunity if someone doesn’t get stung by a bee. I am just saying.
I am soooo obsessed with Christopher already suspecting that Eddie is gay, or at least having feelings for Buck. Like, I want him to come out and Chris be all like “thanks for telling me but I know dad” (insert teen eye roll).
I WANT BUCKLEY PARENT BEEF. Their redemption arc is so over and done with, especially after their reaction to Tommy, so I want drama.
Yuuup, I think that pretty much covers it. Let me know your thoughts, and if you made it all the way through this, I love you, have a cookie.
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laylawatermelon · 4 months
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Okay I have one thing to say before I get started on an assignment.
Now you know how we're having this Vertigo storyline and they'd brought back Shannon in her color theory and everything.
(check this blog for the goodness about that)
But I want to talk about in hindsight they're setting Buck up/showing us that he's always been the third parent/replacing Shannon.
Wait hold up put down the pitchforks 🫷🏾 let me finish.
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Not literally no one can replace a birth parent.
But what he's placed in with clothing and role has always been Shannon. I'm every role except romantic they've been fulfilling the roles they yearn for from other people.
Eddie wants a mother (parent) to help him raise Chris. Buck had always wanted a family and that kind of intimacy.
They quite literally looked at each other and said perfect.
I also found it hilarious in the past episode where they paralleled Eddie with the stalker guy trying to replace the family he's lost.
EDDIE! BABY WAKE UP! PLEEEKE!
YOU'RE BECOMING A STALKER MAN WHO KIDNAPS THE POOR WOMEN OF LOS ANGELES!
They can't heal your broken heart. If you gonna stay straight leave the women out of it😭😭! Please 🙏🏾 I'm behalf of all the fine women you pull. Leave them to us. Well take care of them.
Get therapy my man. I heard it's really nice.
(I'm done bashing him🤗)
But now that we had the last episode when he gave it Chris to Buck (the Shannon equivalent/partner he's looking for) for a delusion (a la kidnapping man please Eddie get help this isn't you 😭😭).
Anyways this is messy and I love it! Angst, grovelling betrayal.
This is why I want buddie😤 there's like a million storylines to be there.
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fastlikealambo · 1 year
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I left my pom poms in an alternate dimension. || eddie munson x black!fem reader
summary: you were supposed to be avoiding your ex, you were supposed to be talking chrissy out of buying drugs like a good friend, you were not supposed to see your best friend's body crumpled on the ceiling of your ex's trailer. 
now you're being hunted by  an avenging dickhead in a letterman's jacket, a monster with a clock fetish, and worse, your ex boyfriend accused of the same murder you are is right along with you for the ride.
eddie munson's an open book, but you've got secrets, one big secret that caused your breakup and could destroy your life and Hawkins forever.
who knows? 
maybe the best kind of couples' therapy is saving the goddamn world.
trigger warning: violence, gore, eventual smut, reader is 18+, use of pet names, trauma, child abuse, everyone’s favorite cheerleader going snap crackle and pop.
as always ageless blogs and minors, please dni
                            Chapter One: The Hellfire Club
You shouldn’t have come here.
“ Sweetheart, you’re scaring me.” Eddie said in a low voice, standing at the top of the stairs.
 He takes one step down and you move two steps back, the lights outside of his trailer coming on, your blood soaked pajamas coming into full view.
“Is that blood? Who did this to you?” Your boyfriend asked horrified, taking the stairs two at a time to get to you  but you put a shaky hand out in front of him.
“Stay back Eddie, please.” You whimpered and Eddie freezes in place, his hands out in front of him in a defensive position. 
“Angel, you’re hurt and you’re scared, please you have to tell me what’s going on!  Whatever it is, I can handle it, I just want to help you.“ Eddie puts a hand on your bloody cheek, eyes brimming with tears.
“ Was it Walt? Did he do this?” Eddie asked, jaw clenched and the sound of your sobbing in confirmation makes his jaw clench.
He doesn’t know you’ve done.
“Let’s get you inside, okay?  I’ll wake my uncle, I’ll call 911, I’ll call Hopper,  the Pentagon, whoever the fuck I need to call but I’ll take care of you, I promise.” Eddie holds his hand to you and there’s nothing more you want to do than tell him everything.
But you can’t.
“I’m sorry Eddie, I’m so sorry, but you need to stay away from me. I shouldn’t have come here, I won’t come here again.” You said simply, starting to back away, too much of a coward to look the only person you’ve ever truly loved in the eye.
“Please don’t do this, I love you. Did I do something wrong?” 
This is all your fault.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Eddie.” 
“ Please-
“Just stay the fuck away!” You yelled, forcing yourself to watch Eddie’s face break before picking up your bike and running away.
He didn’t deserve that, nobody deserved that, but at least now he was safe.
Safe from you.
                                       ONE YEAR LATER
“And sometimes I wonder: how much loss could a community take?”
If Jason talked any longer, you were gonna barf into your pom poms. 
Chrissy’s smiling face kept you from hurling on the Hawkins High gym floor but if he didn’t shut the fuck up soon, you were going to go full Linda Blair at this pep rally.
How all those poor people who died at the mall related to the championship game you couldn’t figure out but the crowd went wild and you were on your feet with the rest of the squad, screaming wildly.
The pep rally ended quickly after that with Chrissy looping her arm with yours, a big smile on her face.
“You’re coming to the party after the game right? You promised!” Chrissy said.
“I’ll be there, might have to leave early, I’ve got work in the morning and I’ve got to be up to let Walt’s nurse in but I’ll be there as promised.” You said, playfully nudging her with your shoulder before grabbing your books from your locker.
“Can I ask you something? Promise you won’t get mad?” Chrissy turned to you, eyes wide.
“That depends on the question. What’s up?” 
“Does Eddie still deal?”
His name makes you drop your trapper keeper, your homework spilling out on the floor and you both bend over to pick it all up.
“ I don’t know, honestly, we don’t talk. Wait, why would you need to know if he’s still in business?” You asked, confused and very much eager to get the subject of your ex boyfriend out of the conversation.
 Chrissy doesn’t look you in the eye for a second but when she does it’s like a dark cloud fell over her features. It’s not the first time this week you’ve seen that cloud.
“ If something was up, you’d tell me?”
“You bet! I just wanted to get some party favors and I was looking to score.”
“ Score? Why are you talking like an after school special? Look, I know something’s up Chrissy, whatever it is, drugs are not gonna fix it. I won’t tell Jason, I won’t tell anybody, I promise.” You whispered. 
 Chrissy meets your worried gaze, clutching her books tightly to her chest.
“Do you ever feel like you’re losing your mind?”
“Once every fifteen minutes. Why?” 
“ Chrissy-
The cloud vanishes from your best friend’s face just as quickly as it came, a fake smile in place.
“I gotta run, see you at warmups!” Chrissy interrupted, voice too high and too cheerful before taking off towards the bathroom.
Something felt very, very, wrong.
The bell rings and the hallway becomes a fast moving current, snapping you out of your haze as you bump into someone hard.
“Oh, sorry! I didn’t mean to.” You apologized immediately, the nervous laugh dies on your lips when you realize whom you’ve bumped into.
“Eddie, I-
He steps back without a word, letting the sea of students flood between you two until the hallway is empty and you’re alone.
Just as it should be.
You don’t have a chance to talk to Chrissy during warmups and the game started soon after. It all goes by in a blur until Lucas Sinclair saves The Tigers from crushing defeat and even you can’t help but join in the absolute chaos of the win.
The game empties out and you grab your duffle bag, searching for Chrissy in the crowd.
“You need a ride to Benny’s?” Patrick asked with Lucas in Sinclair in tow.
“No, I got my car, I’ll see you there though! Great job tonight, Lucas!” You said, your first actual smile of the night fades as you spot a very familiar van and a very familiar cheerleader driving off.
“Chrissy, I’m not a narc but this isn’t you.”
“Chrissy, you’re my best friend, you don’t need drugs, you just need friendship.”
“Chrissy, get in the motherfucking car right now!”
You practice what you’re gonna say to Chrissy as you speed (well as much as a broken down ford pinto could speed) to the one place you swore never to return to. 
The lights inside of Eddie’s trailer are flickering what strikes you as odd but it takes everything in you to open your car door. Maybe if you could grab Chrissy without Eddie noticing in his own trailer.
Maybe you should just leave, Chrissy obviously didn’t want you there, didn’t trust you enough to tell her secrets to and who could blame her?
You had enough secrets for the pair of you.
You’re contemplating just going back to your car when you hear a scream that sends you bursting through the door.
“Chrissy you don’t-”
Oh God.
The sight above you is so horrifying, you choke on your words, you should be screaming but all you can do is stare at the contorted and broken body of your best friend on the ceiling, the monstrous product of something or someone truly evil.
But that evil was not the crying and screaming man on the ground near you and as much as you want to vomit and collapse onto the floor with him, you can’t.
“Eddie, we have to go.” You choked out, a trembling hand outstretched for him that he didn't take, still frozen in fear, screaming.
“Eddie, we have to go now!” You yelled, grabbing him by the scruff of his hellfire shirt and pulling him to his feet. You’re running on shaky legs, all but dragging Eddie out of the front door as Chrissy’s snapped corpse crumples to the ground behind you.
You were right, there was something very, very, wrong here.
That’s our first chapter, I hope it doesn’t suck!
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First Fiancé Introductions
Fanonwriter2023 on AO3
Where CANON and FANON collide!
FANON Future Buddie Fanfic Series
Part 11 is now available on AO3: First Fiancé Introductions - Buck and Eddie’s first introductions as fiancés.
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First Fiancé Introductions
27.3K Words; Rated: Teen and Up Audiences
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Here's a snippet from one of Buck and Eddie's conversations.
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Buck patiently waits but he wants to know what the issue is so he asks, “Please talk to me because I—I want to understand where you’re coming from.  Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Money is what’s wrong.”  He responds a little louder than he intends to.  “People say that shit about all you need is love but let’s be real for a minute because love don’t pay the damn bills and it doesn’t put food on the table either.  I’m not poor by any means and I’m grateful for everything I have but I’m so far away from rich that I don’t even know what it looks like.”
Buck admits, “I’m not rich either.”
They fall silent for a few seconds then Eddie says, “Listen, all I care about is making sure Chris and you are happy because that’s all that matters.”
Buck tightens the hold he has on Eddie’s hand.  “But when we get married, we’ll be providing for this family together, so you have to let me help or our marriage won’t work.  We’ve already discussed how I’m not Shannon, therefore I’m not going to let you carry the weight of this family on your own.  I’m here… and we have each other’s backs, that’s the way it’s always been and that’s how it will be but you have to let me have your back, Eddie.”
Eddie sighs because he knows Buck’s right but since he’s been doing it all by himself for a long time, at one point he felt like the weight of it was going to crush him from the inside out.  But Buck, his Buck, the love of his life is asking him to let him in so he can help.
When Eddie doesn’t verbally respond, he clears his throat and says, “Eddie, when we combine our assets, it’s not going to be my money or your money anymore because it’ll be our money.”
Eddie raises his eyebrows.
“It’s true because what’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine which means it will all become ours.”  He uses his free hand to cup Eddie’s cheek then he leans in and softly kisses him.  After he pulls back, he says, “You’re my fiancé and we’re getting married.  You’ve given me everything I’ve ever wanted including you and Chris... you gave me a son and a family.”  He gently squeezes Eddie’s hand then asks, “Do you remember what I said right before I asked you if you would spend a couple of forevers with me?”
Eddie nods because he does remember it and as he thinks about it, he tries to keep his emotions at bay because he couldn’t believe Buck wanted to give him something.  No one has ever wanted to do that for him before and he was mesmerized by all of it.
Buck whispers, “Eddie… would you please tell me what I said.”
Eddie clears his throat and responds, “You said… “I’m asking you to let me give you something you want” than you asked for me to let you”.
“That’s right so let me give you all of me, let me help you carry the load.  I know you’re used to providing but Eddie, we have to share the responsibilities of this family.”
What will Eddie say in response to Buck's request?
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First Love Confession -Buck and Eddie share their first real and meaningful love confession.
First Date - Buck and Eddie go on their first date.
First Kiss - Buck and Eddie share their first kiss.
First Argument - Buck and Eddie have their first argument.
First Couples Therapy Session- Buck and Eddie go to their first couples therapy sessions.
First Time - Eddie and Buck make love for the first-time.
First Morning After - The night after Buck and Eddie make love for the first-time, they spend their first morning after together.
First Relationship Reveal - Buck and Eddie’s first relationship reveal.
First Mourning - Buck and Eddie experience their first mourning after a loss together.
First Marriage Proposal - Eddie and Buck’s first marriage proposal.
First Fiancé Introductions - Buck and Eddie’s first introductions as fiancés.
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Their Firsts, At Last - 118K Words; Currently 8 completed works: A multi-part fanfic series about the romantic “firsts” Buck and Eddie share as they journey through life in an established relationship and their lives as a couple will include some of Buck’s individual “firsts” too. It’s filled with the FANON love, romance, fluff and domesticity their relationship should have been allowed to experience in CANON.  The second part of the series title was adapted from the song “At Last” by Etta James.
This series of FANON future speculation fanfics is being written on a continuous timeline that begins with the start of season 7 (if it were to start in September 2023). Each part ends at a specific point in Buck and Eddie’s relationship so the next part can begin with the ending of the previous part. Therefore, parts 1-6 should be read prior to reading part 7 and the series will continue in that manner until it’s complete.
Parts 1 - 11 are available on AO3
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cowboy-eddie · 3 years
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Tumblr Exclusive: Hen, Eddie and Get to Know You
It hits Hen at 1am in the morning, randomly, laying next to Karen, that she wouldn’t rely on Eddie to save her life. Not because he isn’t reliable, not because he isn’t skilled, but just because... she doesn’t know him very well. Sure, their kids have play dates and they work together in the field sometimes on medical cases, but other than that what does she know about him, and what does he know about her?
Rolling on to her side, away from Karen so she doesn’t wake her, she shoots a text to Chim because he’s probably the only person she could talk to about this.
Hen: what’s Eddie’s favourite colour?
Chim: what the fuck kinda question is that?
Chim: and it’s 1am
Chim: ask Buck
But that’s just the thing; Hen doesn’t want to ask Buck and dismiss it. She wants to know for herself. Endeavouring to ask him the next time he’s on shift, she put her phone down and rolled over. As sleep came to her, she tried to think about what she wanted to ask Eddie. Maybe he had a favourite TV show, or a favourite sport. Did Buck mention baseball? He definitely mentioned baseball...
~~~
“Hey, Eddie, what’s your favourite colour?”
His brows furrowed in confusion as he put down his fork.
“My favourite... colour?”
Everyone else was suddenly intrigued too, Chim leaning over to Buck who turned to whisper back.
“Well, yeah. I know Buck’s is red, Chim thinks it’s stupid to have a favourite colour, and Bobby-“
“-leave Bobby out of this conversation,” Bobby said, mid-mouthful of pancake. Eddie shrugged.
“I dunno... I don’t have one, I guess. Christopher’s is green, so... green?”
“Dude, it’s blue. You literally always gravitate toward blue,” Buck said and Eddie cocked an eyebrow at him.
“Okay, so I guess it’s blue.”
“What about your favourite sport? Is it baseball?”
“No, Hen, he’s a Hockey guy.”
Buck butted in again and Bobby was suddenly interested. Glancing between Hen and Eddie, he cocked an eyebrow.
“Why the interrogation, Hen?”
“I just... feel like I don’t know Eddie very well.”
“Yeah, well, the feeling’s mutual,” he huffed, clearly uncomfortable with being questioned, and Hen immediately back off.
“I’m sorry, Eddie, I didn’t mean to-“
“-no, it’s... it’s fine.”
And they leave it at that, Bobby frowning at Hen as if to say “did you break him?” Before turning back to his pancakes.
~~~
Later, on a call, Hen watched Eddie roll out a hose. He was methodical and efficient, but his knee on his left side was a little weak and if he leaned on that side he almost missed his step. Buck, of course, was glued to his side as usual and seemed to be working the hose as well, or maybe flirting. Whatever.
“Hen. Put Eddie down.”
“What?”
Hen turned toward Chim and he took the blood pressure cuff off his patient, patting his shoulder.
“Looks good. Probably just a panic-induced reaction. I do want to get you to hospital just in case.”
“Yes sir.”
The guy let Chim lie him on the gurney inside the ambulance and shut the door. Chimney, hands on his hips, cocked an eyebrow.
“Why the sudden obsession with Eddie? You in love with him?”
“I’m married, to a woman, with two beautiful children. Or did you forget, Chimney?”
“My bad. But seriously, you need to stop staring at him. You’re gonna make him take stress leave.”
“I told you! I feel like I don’t know him. How stupid is that; this guy is one of our best and I feel like I barely know him past Christopher.”
Chimney shrugged.
“It’s always been you and me, Buck and Eddie, and Bobby. It’s just the way things worked out.”
“I can still talk to Buck, though, and ask him how therapy’s going, ask him personal things. Can you imagine what would happen if I asked Eddie something like that?”
“Oh, I can, and I can tell you right now it would not end well. How about we stop staring him down, and take this poor guy to the hospital before he thinks we forgot?”
“Fine.”
Hen climbed into the ambulance, radioing into dispatch to alert the hospital they were on their way there.
~~~
“Hey, Eddie, what happened to your knee? If you don’t mind me asking?”
Eddie sighed, putting down the clipboard he’d just pried off Buck.
“I dislocated it a few years ago. Went to physical therapy and everything but it never quite bounced back.”
“Oh, okay. Thanks for telling me.”
Hen went to walk away, when Eddie called out.
“Hey, Hen- what’s your mom’s name?”
And Hen smiled. Of course Eddie got it.
“It’s Antonia- Toni, if you want to be on her good side.”
“I better stick with Toni then.”
He disappeared into the locker room then, and Hen blinked before heading back upstairs.
~~~
It carried on like this for the rest of shift- Hen would ask Eddie a random question, and then an hour or so later he would approach with one of his own. It got to the point that they were asking about each other’s families as well now; Hen knew Eddie had sisters, but she hadn’t known he was the youngest of the three of them. Eddie was aware Hen didn’t have siblings, but he had no idea her father abandoned her so young. She finds out his favourite food is his grandmother’s Tamales, and he discovered that she loved cheeseburgers but only when Buck orders them, because he always remembers to double the ketchup.
Meanwhile, the other three watched this go on between calls. Buck crossed his arms, but he wasn’t pissed- if anything he was pleased.
“Fucking finally,” he murmured, Chim and Bobby looking to him with confusion. Buck shrugged.
“I always felt like those two just didn’t quite click, not in a mean way or anything, but more along the lines of no shared interests.”
“They’re bonding over their love of hockey I think,” Chim said, watching over the rail into the truck bays. Bobby just shrugged.
“As long as they’re getting along. It’s good to see Eddie opening up a little.”
“Amen,” Chim and Buck said simultaneously. The alarm began blaring and everyone leapt into action.
~~~
“Hey, Hen, can I ask you something?”
“If it’s my favourite cheese, you can bribe me easily with Brie,” Hen joked, head in the ambulance as she restocked it. Eddie shifted.
“No, it’s a little more, uh- why today?”
“What do you mean- oh. Oh!”
Hen stopped throwing things in the cupboards, taking a seat on the edge of the ambulance. Eddie sat too and she realised he was trying to trust her.
“Well, it’s kind of- kind of stupid, actually. I was lying in bed and it was 1am and apparently I was kind of delirious, because I- for half a second... I felt like I couldn’t trust you with my life.”
Eddie’s face hardened, walls going up, but Hen darted to grab his arm.
“I was wrong! I was wrong. You’re a skilled firefighter, and you’re unstoppable on scene, but I just- I felt like I didn’t know you very well. I decided to change that. I wanted to change that.”
His face screwed up, like he’d eaten something bad, before he shrugged.
“Cool.”
And that was it. Off he went, probably to find Buck. Those two were inseparable in the best of times, let alone when either of them were feeling vulnerable.
~~~
The next call they were on, Chim was tied down with a patient and Hen could tell she needed help. She turned her head, about to yell when she felt Eddie appeared behind her like he’d known and she grinned at him.
“Grab the stethoscope.”
“Got it.”
And they worked in unison. For the first time she felt like he had her back and she had his. They smiled at each other, focusing on helping their patient. When the patient had been loaded into the ambulance, Eddie cleared his throat and looked to Hen.
“Hey, uh, I think we know each other better than we think.”
“I think you should go and kiss Buck, but I hope to god you already know that.”
“Oh my god, Hen,” Eddie choked, but he was laughing so Hen figured he wasn’t pissed and about to close off to her. Nudging his shoulder, she gestured to their patient.
“Ride with me? I might need you to stay in the back.”
“Sure thing.”
Hen turned and yelled to Chim that she had to get to the hospital and he went to climb into the ambulance when Eddie beat him and Chim pouted. Buck appeared beside him, a frown on his face.
“Did they just-“
“Eddie stole my best friend,” Chim huffed. Buck snorted.
“If it makes you feel any better, Hen stole my boyfriend.”
“Buck.”
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shrimpngritcakes · 3 years
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Buddie prompt #3: 9-1-1 & Lone Star crossover idea
I’m putting this idea here for someone to claim if they wish. It was originally posted on Ao3 (now with additions), but deleted it due to ToS. If anyone wants this prompt, please comment below so I can delete it after you copy it to prevent similar stories.
His breaking point was a kiss.
One he knew he wasn't supposed to see. With anyone else he would feel like a voyeur, but all he could feel was a dark emptiness opening in his chest.
With Eddie’s truck being in the shop for a tie rod that had broken while at work, sending Eddie into a storm of cursing in Spanish, Ana had picked him up for their latest date.
And dropped him off.
If was a horrible fluke that Buck had stood up to look out the window at just the wrong moment. He should have been in the spare bedroom asleep after a grueling 24 surrounded by all the things he had brought with him when he moved in all those weeks ago.
Buck makes his excuses to leave while Eddie is completely confused and trying to get him to talk. Eddie tries to call Buck but he doesn't pick up.
Buck goes to see Bobby and Athena. It all spills out, including not feeling wanted by his parents. Bobby thinks Eddie is being an idiot but keeps this to himself. He suggests a leave of absence for mental health. Bobby receives permission from his superior to place Buck on open ended leave after giving him a brief explanation of the situation. Ending with him saying to Bobby, “That poor boy. If I ever meet that boy's parents…”
Bobby answers, “Get in line, but there may not be anything left after Athena gets them first.”
TK is surprised to find a sleeping Buck in his Jeep in the parking lot of the 126. An off duty Carlos takes him back to his place where he crashes on the couch. Buck has a nightmare and Carlos talks him down.
Owen calls Bobby saying he has his boy and they'll take care of them. He has a plan and discusses it with Bobby. The whole absence makes the heart grow fonder concept.
“Is it mutual?”
“I’m not 100% sure, but…”
“You can't tell Eddie. Even if he begs for answers for his son, you need to stand strong. It needs to be him asking for himself. If this goes wrong… We'll take Buck in here. He'll have a home with the 126. It will take a while, but we'll help put him back together as best we can until he's back on his feet. He won't be alone.”
Bobby wipes at his face, “Thank you."
“Let's hope this works.”
Eddie is worried and confused why Buck never came home. His phone is going straight to voicemail. Now he isn't there for his shift. Another man comes in and introduced as Buck's temporary replacement. Eddie asks Bobby where Buck is, but he won't give him a straight answer. Eddie is shocked as Bobby's tone is harsh and he glaring at him. Bobby later apologized and explains that Buck requested that only he and Maddie know where he is. Eddie tries to dig, but Bobby just shakes his head with a, “I'm sorry, Eddie. I can't tell you.”
Eddie asks Maddie, but she just slams the door in his face. Chim doesn’t know as she's refusing to tell them where Buck is. Chim delivers her handwritten apology the next day to Eddie. It states Buck needs space from everything, but mostly leaves out the part about Eddie (only one or two things that hint, but it goes over Eddie's head).
Athena almost breaks down and calls Eddie a fool before storming away to her police cruiser. She doesn't know where he is because Bobby refuses to tell her (which she finds annoying yet commendable), but she was there for the why when Buck broke down. She'll apologize after Buck and Eddie return. Hopefully together.
Filler with Buck and the 126 and Carlos. Judd takes him out on a horse like he did Capt. Strand. Fill a pothole on how Grace and him are so accepting of TK's sexuality despite being religious.
A Facetime therapy session where Copeland assures him its okay to get away for a while.
Eddie doesn't quite realize yet that he's slowly losing it, but the others can tell.
Paul and Buck have a conversation.
Christopher asking where Buck is because it's movie night. Eddie doesn't have an answer.
Eddie rages in the station gym trying to understand. He almost gets it, but he thinks Buck is jealous of Eddie, not Ana. Cue Hen groaning under her breath, "You almost got it, Eddie. Come on. Keep thinking."
TK, Carlos, and Paul take Buck out to a club. TK talks absentmindedly to the bartender, even showing him/her a picture of Eddie from Insta. Word spreads about the "new guy," Buck. Others keep the “creeps" away from Buck. Buck loosens up a little while there.
Buck Facetimes Christopher on Carla's phone, only for Eddie to walk in just as Buck is hanging up. He sees Buck's panicked/sad face right before he hangs up. He tries to call back, but doesn't get an answer. Carla huffs and shakes her head. "Figure it out yourself, hun. I can't give you this answer. You need to find it for yourself." Cue Eddie even more confused. This is all just about Buck's parents and jealous over Ana... Isn't it?
Roller derby to cheer on Marjan with the bartender flirting with Buck, who is all kinds of flustered. Carlos, TK, and the others tease him mercilessly.
A massive fire where Buck offers his help. Paul gives Buck as sidehug in gratitude.
Eddie almost punching the mechanic because his truck still isn't done.
Marjan takes Buck out to do something crazy because she's Firefox. (Buck is still starstruck). Maybe skydiving or they race each other at wall climbing? Cue competitive banter.
Owen keeping Bobby updated on Buck.
Buck eventually asks for a transfer. Owen asks if this is what he really wants. Buck just shrugs and asks helplessly what other option he has.
(Optional: Bucks gets up quietly at night for a glass of water and stumbles onto Carlos and TK having sex/making out in the kitchen. Buck either flees in embarrassment or is stunned into watching with Carlos and TK aware that he's there. All parties awkward and/or embarrassed the next morning until TK bursts into giggles and laughter.)
Eddie's relationship with Ana is rapidly deteriorating. Christopher has a full on tantrum. Eddie has to koala hug him on the floor, after Ana brings him back home from a not very good date as Eddie's thoughts were on Buck. Ana tries to help calm him down but Chris screams at her about Buck not being around as much as soon as she started dating his dad. “I hate you! I hate you!” He yells her to get out. Ana still tries to talk. Carla snaps at her to leave. She still tries.
Eddie is spiraling. Flashback of that kiss he really wasn’t ready for, but Ana had asked. It dawns on him that that was the night Buck disappeared. Why would Buck leave because of that? Chris is repeatedly asking her to leave, but she's not listening. She's not listening to his son. He finally snaps and demands that she leaves. She storms out. Relationship dead in the water.
Carla can only watch as Eddie breaks from it all.
The original plan has failed, so it’s time for the final attempt. A blatant hammer strike to Eddie's head to knock some sense into him.
Bobby calls Eddie into his office. He shows Eddie transfer papers from Buck along with a list of Buck's possessions to be boxed and shipped. Eddie is speechless. Thoughts of Christopher and losing Buck. He's losing Buck.
He shows Eddie an email he received and Eddie slowly scrolls through, It's full of captioned pictures. Such as:
-Buck staring off into the distance on a horse.
-Buck curled on a couch looking lost.
-Buck looking drool-worthy in club clothes. The caption: “Holy sh@t! If I wasn't already happily taken…”
-Showing Buck blushing as someone talks in his ear.
-Smiling yet not reaching his eyes while dancing.
-Sitting with his head buried in his hands on the engine’s bumper.
-Helping man a hose at a large blaze captioned with “Yes, we had permission for him to be there.” Followed by a picture of someone (Paul, but Eddie can’t see his face as he’s looking at the ground and hidden by his helmet) sidehugging a sweaty dusty still geared up Buck around the neck with a hand resting on his head.
A video. It's Buck spilling everything curled up in someone's arms (maybe Carlos or Grace). “Why am I always alone! What about me?” Mentions of Abby and Ali. His failed dates. Everyone pairing up. Losing part of his sister to Chim after finally having her back in his life after so many years apart. “And Eddie! Eddie… Why does love hurt so much?” mentioning Chris. Etc.
Eddie is shaking. It finally clicks why Buck left.
One more video. It's Capt. Strand and the 126 facing the camera. He knows where Buck is now - Austin, Texas.
“Buck doesn't know we're putting all this together. He’s asleep. We may or may not have knocked him out with sleeping pills.”
They all lay it out for Eddie. Eddie feels all kinds of stupid and blind. “Now, you have a choice here, Edmundo Diaz…”
“Why… Oh my god. This entire time… ”
“Do you love him, Eddie? As more than a friend? Or am I signing these papers?”
A few seconds after Eddie runs out of the room, a sigh comes from the speaker phone. “I'll get things set up.”
“Thank you, Owen. For everything.”
“You're welcome.”
The whole firehouse going up in a cheer after Eddie floors out of the parking lot in his thankfully finally fixed truck. Hen is shaking Chim or vice versa.
Carla agrees over the phone to keep Christopher after Eddie blurts everything out to her, ending with a “Go get him, Eddie.”
“Did everyone see this but me?” Carla is laughing as she hangs up.
Buck sees Owen call TK over and whispering in his ear. Tk has an interesting reaction before running out of the room with his phone already to his ear.
Flashbacks as Eddie is scrolling through his pictures on his phone while on an airplane. How he missed it. How he didn't understand himself. His fall had been so slow he hadn't even realized it until it was almost, or maybe is, too late. His seatmate makes a comment on his happy “family," and it’s a kick to Eddie's already flayed emotions.
Judd is there to pick him up at the airport, which surprised him.
He's dropped off at a club. Judd makes a snarky comment after handing Eddie a hotel room key card through the window. Eddie rolls his eyes as Judd drives off laughing. The bouncer, having seen the Diaz blazoned on the back of his LAFD shirt, waves Eddie inside, skipping the line. The whispering starts as soon as he enters. Word had spread and they had been hoping for Buck. “Is that…”
“I think so.”
He's shocked as the crowd starts to part for him. The music lowers in volume. People are staring and he's embarrassed, etc., but he sees Buck, who TK has made sure looks phenomenal. Taking a deep breath, he squares his shoulders and walks forward.
Buck is dancing between Carlos and TK. He feels Carlos start smacking TK on the back before they pull away from him. They’re both grinning so wide he suspects their faces are hurting. TK is not so quietly squealing in excitement.
A hand covers his eyes from behind. He immediately recognizes the body wash smell. “Eddie…”
Mini conversation/argument, neither realizing the club has gone dead silent, with Eddie yelling “Because I love you, you idiot!”
The entire club loses it with TK whooping, jumping with a fist punch, and laughing.
End there with a kiss, at the hotel room which may or may not get steamy, or Buck telling Christopher he's home with Chris tackling him to the ground.
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mr-and-mr-diaz · 4 years
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I Don’t Understand Buck Begins.
PSA this is a bit of rant. Not a hate-rant or anything like that, but I do express frustration and if you’re not here for that right now, please skip this. It is complicated and ended upa bit long. But if you’re up for it, I’d LOVE to know your thoughts.
I actually want to talk about this with people. I’m not here to drop a statement like a microphone and walk away. The first time I watched Buck Begins, I loved it. I still do. But as I think back on it and rewatch, there are some major issues I’m spotting:
1. Buck in his whole life has been endangering himself in order to get the attention (dare I say LOVE) of those around him. I feel like the Firefam’s (very OOC) responses to him recklessly endangering himself again only enforced these destructive habits?
2. Firefam’s OOC reaction: In literally every other episode, when Buck recklessly endangers himself the firefam immediately put the brakes on, tell Buck to treasure himself, not to be reckless, to think things through, to realize that the victim got out because of sheer good luck (as well as hair-brained thinking on Buck’s part, but some of Buck’s decision making also really endangered him, more on that later.) The fact that Bobby let Buck work that fire at all in the state of mind he was in is odd. The fact that Hen told him he was for whatever reason correct in choosing to split from the party and go on his own in his current state of mind was beyond odd. Looking back, it doesn’t feel like real moments, but rather contrivances dressed in nice words like “I don’t this often but you’re right” (NO HE’S F**KING NOT!!) so that we wouldn’t question them immediately. Was Buck correct that the other team needed anotehr man? Yeah. Was he right that it should be him? NOPE. Anyone could see that, we could see that, the Firefam could see that. but they let him go anyway. This is OOC, they’re smarter than that, and they’ve known Buck for long enough to know when he’s triggered and more likely to make poor decisions. During it, when Buck disobeys orders and Bobby is calmly just like “Yeah he does that sometimes.” I’m sorry, did someone put Xanax in Bobby’s coffee? Why on earth would he be so calm?? In a normal situation he would never be calm about that--add to it the fact that he KNEW Buck wasn’t at his most stable at the moment? He should have been shouting into his radio and hauling ass, not shrgging and smiling with pride like “Yup! It’s cool with me” like what?? Then afterward, nothing but kind words and praise. Good job risking your life like an idiot, good job risking the other guy because you were so determined to get him out asap you didn’t stop to think. That’s what you do, Buck. 
Like did they really just say that!?
The only nuance that I thought was right here, the only thing that was given emphasis that felt RIGHT, was not that Buck stays behind, not that he makes reckless decisions sometimes, not that he jumped into a fire while unstable, THE ONLY THING that should have been emphasized here, that the episode should have been based on? Is that BUCK DOESN’T GIVE UP. There’s a quality in him that we’ve seen before. one that Buck doesn’t seem to realize about himself. Athena’s moment was the only moment that looking back gives me any kind of cathartsis, because it is the only healthy reaction from the firefam that I saw (aside from them all running in after him--still love that moment.) they should’ve been gentle baout it, but nonetheless should’ve told Buck to treasure himself more, not be like “And here’s our most rekless memeber, pat on the back, kid, we love that you throw yourself into danger without thinking, in fact that’s what we love most about you!” Thinking back, I could SCREAM that that’s the message they left Buck with.
3. The victim: Let’s face it, the only reason the victim didn’t die is because the writers didn’t want him to. They made sure the tank landed somewhere non-fatal so that Buck could still get a win, even though many of his decisions thus far had been hare-brained and ill-advised, driven by a mad need to prove himself, and to never leave people behind, even if stopping and waiting and thinking might be more advisable at some points. In fact, when the victim first falls, and buck wakes up and he looks at him and I thought the victim was dead, first of all I was really sad for the victim, but I also felt like that was the right way to go. Buck’s decision making wasn’t sound, he wasn’t thinking straight, he went in anyway, by all rights the only reason the victim stayed alive after everything he went through was because the writers wanted him to stay alive which they followed with a big and in my opinion inappropriate Pat on the back Moment. The victim dying would’ve been tragic, but it would’ve driven home a lesson for buck, that hurting himself, endangering himself isn’t the answer, won’t always save the day. It would’ve taught Buck (harshly yes, but) that he needs to get his head  on straight in this job. And if he had lost teh victim and the firefam had been there for him anyway, it would’ve been a whole different scenario.
In the episode, while it was super sweet and had some incredible moments, Buck learns nothing, his relationship with the Firefam doesn’t actually change at all, and his relationship with his family doesn’t appear to have actually progressed. He’s still prioritizing them over himself (bringing the parents into therapy since well, they’re trying which is apparently enough now), he’s now been encouraged to continue the reckless streak of self-sacrificing decision making that he’s been on in the past in order to gain teh love and recognition of the poeple around him.
I wish the writers had placed focus, not on Buck being accepting, not on Buck being restless, but on Buck not giving up. We saw bits of that yeah, but it wasn’t as highlighted as Buck ebing reckless and feeling overall like he’s not enough. I wish the episode had been centered there, and they had created an entirely different scenario start-to-finish that (like in Eddie begins, where there were no contrivances, the only reckless thing he does--cutting the line--is something that there isn’t a quetsion in a single brain he WOULD do and should do) where Buck is level-headed, where he’s in some kind of scenario where only he could uniquely succeed in because he never gives up. This episode had bits of it here and there, but ultimately what was running teh day was buck vulnerabilities, not his strengths. Insead of pointing out where Buck shines (like the other Begins episodes), they really only further highlighted what his weaknesses are and then proceeded to have the people around him encourage those weaknesses. Like, what?!
I also think this was the moment to solidify the firefam as his family. Instead, we see Buck retreating back toward a very unhealthy family situation and the firefam remains where they always are. What they did for buck in this episode was something incredible, but it’s also something they would do for any member of the firefam. What I wanted was for the firefam to show up for Buck in a way that he uniquely needs. How, I don’t know--perhaps taking a jab at his loneliness, surprising him with a dinner party at the loft, whatever. Something that told Buck “we see your pain, we see how tough your parents are, how you and Maddie need family who will show up and treasure you no matter what (WHICH BTW INCLUDES YELING AT YOU WHEN YOU’VE BEEN AN IDIOT AND TELLING YOU TO PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF CRAP DON’T ENDANGER YOURSELF LIKE THAT AGAIN, PLEASE VALUE YOURSELF), that’s what Buck needed. An episode that would help him learn to treasure himself, believe in himself more, love the fact that he never gives up about himself, learn that dangerous stunts and running into things without thinking because he bleives that’s what gets him love is incorrect and unecessary. We didn’t get any of that. The episode was also trying to kill two birds with one stone, which brings me to my last point:
4. Framing Buck Begins around the sibling’s relationship, while GORGEOUS (seriously LOVED these moments they did and the casting was amazing, and both JLH and OS played their younger selves to perfection) I wish had been placed in a completely different episode. They didn’t belong here in an episode of Buck learning about himself. And because of the amount of airtime they took up, we ended up with an episode where Buck doesn’t really learn about himself in the end. Everything remains largely external instead of internal.
All in all, I feel like we need another Buck Begins episode to right the wrongs of this one. Nothing has been solved or fixed. Buck’s relationships remain pretty much the same going in as they do leaving. He has found no peace, no resolution (except in confirmation that Maddie loves him, which is nice, but largely external) he is still fuled by the belief that reckless behavior is what wins him teh love and attention of those around him.
This frustrates me to no end. If you feel like Buck Begins did scratch every itch for you, I’d love to talk and see your perspective as well, because I hate this itchy feeling of dissatisfaction and I dearly hope I’ve missed something here.
Anyway sorry this got so long. Didn’t realize I had QUITE so many thoughts until I started writing and then shit happened. If you made it to the end, thank youa nd I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts, whether you agree or disagree.
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shes-an-oddbird · 3 years
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A Very long list of Season 5 Predictions/Wish List
I tried to hit as many of the characters as possible so this is really really long
The trickiest thing about this show seems to be the ever growing cast creating several stories at once and the fact that it’s a show about first responders so even characters that don’t seem like they would follow that career choice end up there and those that don’t sometimes feel out of place.
This is not to say that I don’t LOVE AND ADORE FIREFIGHTER ALBERT HAN! (but really kind of thought it came out of nowhere and yet I’m not surprised because what else were they going to do with him?)
It seems unlikely they’d assign Albert to the 118 unless Bobby requests him like he did with Eddie, but I think Bobby might have some hesitations about that. They’re already as close as family and sometimes make dangerous decisions because of it. He might feel its better for Albert to be with a different fire house or maybe Chimney would.
But he’s a regular so putting him with the 118 would be the best way to give him screen time
I personally think he’ll be assigned to the 133 since we’ve seen a bit of them this season. I’d love if there was a fun rivalry between the two firehouses (whichever one Albert ends up at.) I’ve said it before that the 118 is probably notorious at this point for the weird situations they get into. The teasing and the taunting would just be so much fun to watch. Albert talking to Chim or Buck and just being like, so the guys told me about this time…
Actually can we take a moment to appreciate that the 118 got ANOTHER firetruck destroyed and this one wasn’t even theirs. The 133 spends FIVE MINUTES with Buck and Eddie and their truck is in shambles.
On a more serious note, we might meet Chimney and Albert’s dad. I’m thinking he’s not going to be thrilled about his youngest joining the fire department and show up to talk some sense into him and scold Chimney for letting him do it.
I’m so confused about how much time has passed? How long does it take to become a firefighter? They must have some sort of plan for him because cutting out him going through training seems like a lost opportunity. It’s a story we haven’t really seen through anything but montages. Is it difficult? Would he try to quit? I’d have liked to see him making the decision in the first place.
putting the rest under here because its really a lot
We’ll also miss Eddie recovering (and Bobby too actually), which I’m a little bummed about but not devastated. It sounds like we won’t see much in the way of the effects of either shooting but can’t do anything about that now unless they flash back and have them work towards that moment on the roof.
My biggest concern with the time jump is missing literally any of Maddie’s story. I don’t know much about PPD or if its called recovery or overcoming it but I do want to see Maddie work through that and Chimney and the others supporting her.
I think her leaving the dispatch center will be temporary but it may take half or all of next season for her to return.
Maybe she’ll take over for May, if she does go off to school
Or May might continue working at Dispatch and going to school.
If she doesn’t go to school Athena is not going to be very happy with her. But maybe we could get Maddie and Josh being big siblings to May which is an underappreciated dynamic. Maybe it will help Maddie cope with how useless she’s feeling with Jee.
I’ll need to rewatch to see if they say what May wants to do but maybe she’ll study journalism or something that will keep her in the loop of the main characters the way it does Taylor.
And speaking of Taylor, she is actually a very interesting character, whether you like her (morally) or not. I think we’ll see more of her in season 5 and I genuinely think she’ll fall hard for Buck. And I think everyone needs to chill about how it’ll destroy her character.  We’ve already established that Taylor is like the female version of Buck (with a bit more sense maybe but a mirror if him non the less). If Buck is allowed to grow and want an actual relationship, is anyone really surprised they’d have Taylor go through that too.
She’s just a few steps behind, like he’s in relationship phase and she’s just coming to terms with her own feelings for him
My big concern, since they like to break Buck’s poor little heart, is that she’ll leave. She’ll get a job opportunity and pick it over Buck. I think it would be a hard decision for her but in character. Or maybe they’ll surprise us and make Buck and Taylor endgame (I know a lot of people don’t want to hear that but I could see it happening that way)
On the flip side I don’t know what’s going to happen with Eddie and Ana. I know she’s pretty much hated but its super unclear what the plan is other than that they’ll eventually break up per what Carla implied. I suspect they’ll be together for a bit of season five until Eddie figures out what’s up with what his heart wants. I don’t think Ana is some awful witch so the break up will probably be mutual or at the very least Ana won’t be surprised.
But hopefully we get more than just that as far as Eddie goes. The episodes we do get that are focused on him are really some of my favorites. They are wrapping up his moving on from Shannon arc which is cool. The trying to be a good father to Christopher will always be there, that’s something that will never change and always be a growing/learning experience.
I’d love to meet one or both of Eddie’s sisters. They don’t have to stick around long term like Albert did but to have them pop up with some crisis would be interesting and we could learn more about Eddie and the dynamic with his family which seems loving but strained.
Maybe we will see Eddie working more with Hen too. I was wondering if they’d make Eddie a full paramedic to take over for her eventually, which I decided they probably won’t do. But one episode of Buck distressed over the fact that he and Eddie wouldn’t be partners anymore would be fun drama.
The two really are just at a loss without each other and I love that. They get so pouty when they’re apart.
I don’t know what other plans they might have for Buck next season. I suspect we’ll see him worrying over Maddie and I’d kill to see him watching Jee-Yun.
I don’t know how old she’ll be because of the time jump but can you imagine Buck watching the baby and it just being an absolute disaster. So he starts calling everyone in a panic and we get firefam taking care of Baby Jee, maybe while Chim and Maddie are at a therapy session or just a weekend away for themselves.
I’m convinced the Baby would love Eddie. I think its just me projecting my desire for Eddie and Maddie to interact more. But like Hen teasing him because of course the baby loves him, all the girls love Eddie, he’s got the pretty face. Buck being super jealous that Jee likes him more. Eddie being genuinely surprised because he felt like such a failure when Chris was a baby. 
Denny, Harry and Christopher are all getting older too so there has got to be a story there with at least one, if not all of them. Harry was sidelined this season but I love that kid, he is the spawn of Athena and Michael and we already know he’s a little trouble maker. Match that with Christopher who is sassy and too smart for his own good and Denny who is clearly the good kid of the bunch. I don’t know, it’s another lost opportunity if they don’t do something with that.
They could assign Karen and Hen an older foster kid who’s maybe not such a good influence at first. Unless they opt for just younger ones, I’m not really sure how that works. But they could get one that’s not as easy as nia and they have to work for that bond.
Might be they adopt them at the end
I hope we see more of Hen’s mom and med school friends but not like a crazy amount. The cast is already too big but I love them so an occasional appearance would be welcome.
I love David and Michael too but they always seem like the hardest to work in because, as stated, they are not first responders. David is a doctor though so maybe we’ll see some interaction with him and Hen. And all the Bobby and Michael content is welcome.
I NEED A WEDDING NEXT SEASON! Just pick a pair and marry them please!!! Maddie and Chimney!!! Michael and David!!! Someone, please! Even just a proposal?! Maybe? Please?
And there will be another crossover event which is exciting because I really enjoyed the first one. I wonder if they’ll come to LA this time and what would bring them there. With the scheduling of the shows next season they won’t have to tie them together so much time frame wise. They literally could just be popping in for a visit. I’m not gonna lie when I thought about another crossover I really wanted Bobby the self-taught chef to meet Charles the actual chef but now I can’t have that and it makes me so sad.
Putting all this out there is a really good way to insure it never happens, but still, they seem like logical places to go as of the finale.
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breannacasey · 3 years
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banner by @ourdiningroom for @flufftober2021
WIP Wednesday: Flufftober Edition
Since I've been working on this since mid-July and the event is two days away, I thought I'd do a post and share small snippets of what I've done. I thought one sentence for each of the 29 fics that I've either finished or started.
Full list of prompts and ships here.
For some reason, and honestly Eddie knew the others well enough that he probably should’ve seen this coming, Buck and Taylor went into competitive mode over those little carnival games.
Maybe if he promised a treat to his golden retriever boyfriend, it might speed up the process and they could move on faster.
When the doorbell made itself heard, it was followed by an excited purr from Sergio, who jumped off the bed and let out a few more insistent meows at her.
It was another dumbass move to walk into your loft, see a stranger standing ominously at the other end of the room and instead of using the phone in your hand to call for help, pocketing the thing in order to approach them.
It was early morning now, their anniversary had come and gone, and Carina was exhausted from her unusually busy night shift.
“Hey, man, what’s up?” Eliot asked not the people in charge, but their captive.
“You gotta relax, stop thinking about monsters for a while,” MG said.
"It's crêpes, Maddie, there isn’t much to mess up. And I’m right here."
Hey babe. Heard you don't want to go out with us tonight, everything alright?
It was a beautiful thing to see Malcolm and Ainsley team up like this, pulling all of their small children’s strength together in order to have an advantage over their dad.
Chimney accused Hen of flirting with Karen, one of the scientists.
Dean sat on the second bed, somewhat comforted by Cas’ presence nearby.
“Ok, this is serious pillow talk. Wow, I feel very aware of the fact I’m naked right now.”
“I get it, but I think she’ll remember her wedding day for the rest of her life no matter what happens.”
It was Nile’s first time in Québec and they refused to let her down.
"Those packs of ramen really look out of place in your luxury apartment."
Lorelai jumped down onto the bed, curling up in between all of the pillows.
"This is the FBI, Brian, we don't dress up at work. We can't. How is anyone supposed to take you seriously?"
A horse had run away.
But she couldn't deny the flutter in her stomach when Isobel showed up at art therapy, taking a seat next to her.
“I wish taking care of you didn’t look so much like rewarding you for doing exactly what you promised me you wouldn’t do.”
Working with profilers wasn’t exactly the best setting to keep secrets.
“Don’t go, please,” he said when he felt her start to pull back.
Rory’s eyes met Paris’ as they stood close by the heater.
TBD
A thought came to him about how much this looked like a romantic comedy moment, but he didn’t care, clichés were clichés for a reason, right?
Mike felt for him, poor skinny dude.
The warmth and the smell soothed the strain that emotions had put on her at work and she felt herself relax, her head falling back and her eyes closing down.
“You don’t have to pretend, I know people don’t really look at just any random person and then feel the need to get naked with them. That’s not real.”
TBD
“Nothing. All I’m saying is, it might be easier to get it all done if you ask for help. And you might even end up with someone to keep you company once Christopher starts going without you.”
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trashcanalienist · 3 years
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More black people in robot fiction please!! My god, what I've been missing out on! What with: primarily, the Purpose of robot fiction; secondarily, the development of a world in which robots exist; and thirdly, black people existing in movies. Detective Del Spooner being a robot-racist is a fun spin cause he's black, but...come on man, you ain't tryna tell me racism's over because we invented a slave class. Like Harry Domin indirectly stated - as long as we are different, we will hate each other for being different. Robots are similar even if not identical, and thus do not - even cannot - hate each other. Y'all coulda kept the Elijah Bailey vibe...Lije wasn't too thrilled about robots, but he accepted them as part of the world and kept his dislike for them harmless and professional. Like Eddie Valiant with toons. Man, Roger Rabbit's a good movie.
Will Smith got his fuсkin Converse All-Stars and his sweet potato pie and he out to solve some murders! He's even got a god damn guitar wall in his little apartment. Bet your аss he don't play one of them in the movie. EVEN BETTER,, THE FIRST WHITE PERSON TO SPEAK IN THIS MOVIE (though he be the hologram of the dead roboticist, Alfred Lanning), IN HIS FIRST EVER LINE, CALLS DETECTIVE DEL SPOONER "son". YES! THAT IS WHAT I CALL...UH...well it's not exactly racial subtext, but also that's exactly what it is. R. Sammy and everything. I wish they'd've gone a little further with the "robot" designation used as a method of...not dehumanization because they're not living or humans, but...devaluing? It is obvious that Giskard Reventlov is a robot, so it is considered rude to distinguish him from other Aurorans with that R., whereas the Earthmen delight in devaluing their machines by insisting on that R, denying them last names, giving them names like "Sammy", and calling them "boy"...sound familiar? Anyways that's how it is in the novels, I wish it were the same here.
Del Spooner thinks a robot can do crime even though no robots have ever done crimes. He thinks this because he is prejudiced. This is the weakest facet of the movie. He's prejudiced because one time he and another car got shoved off a bridge into the water, and a passing NS-4 saved him but not the little girl in the other car. They say it's about percentages, and it is, but the robot should still have been positronically affected by not being able to save Sarah as well. Like those poor Solarians who couldn't save Dr. Delmarre. It should at the very least exhibit some cognitive dysfunction as a result of not being physically able to obey such a strong Law.
I think if a robot can commit a crime then the First Law must be strengthened. The definition of "harming a human being" would need to be expanded. It would lead to slight issues like Herbie and might make robots less useful, but the point of the Laws is to promote safety over usefulness. I am glad then to see that no robot who obeys the Laws has ever committed any crime.
Anyways Del's a cop with a "documented history of savage violence against robots" man come on, grow up. Get some god dаmn therapy
Aight so they put the Laws onscreen before the movie fully starts, but then Del asks Dr. Calvin some very basic questions genuinely and it's like...Del man how you live in this world and you don't know how the Laws relate to and conflict with each other?? I know USR is still in its relatively early days, but come on! Well, he's the type to endanger himself, his passenger, and every other motorist by taking manual control of a self-driving car. Spoon's the type of guy who opens the front door of a house that ain't his, LEAVES it open, and then gets spooked when the wind slams it shut. That's why he hates robots, man. He's just that kind of guy...the entitlement combined with the proud humanism.
They shoulda subtitled this movie "Will Smith Does Millions Of Dollars Worth Of Property Damage" bro even before the NS-5s start attacking him he's blowing their positronic brains out...man those things ain't cheap! Or maybe they are! I don't know! Del's grandma can't seem to afford one, but they're mass produced and their creator Alfred Lanning wanted robots in every household. Bet he'd love Solaria
On one hand I understand and agree with Del's reluctance to talk around what is in this film possibly corporate spyware. On the other hand the anticorporate subtext in this movie kinda muddles the whole robot racism thing. Like yeah I'd be polite to FedEx NS-4 but I'd also shoot down Amazon drones with a BB gun so
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BROKEN TUMBLR ASKS PART ??: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
@boys-love-or-bust-19507 asked: I LOVE your buddie fics! Can yo write a fic where Buck has a really tough day and Eddie and Chris take care of him?
“Alright, Special Agent Christopher, target is almost in sight. Are you ready for action?”
“Yeah!”
Eddie grinned down to his son, basking in the childlike excitement mirrored back at him for a hot second, knowing that very few things would ever compare to these moments again. He had never seen Chris click as well with anyone as he had Buck—even Carla was a close second to that, not that Eddie was about to tell her that—and honestly, there should have never been any question in his mind as to what Chris would say when Eddie told him Buck needed some help.
His smile only softened as he looked around the house—there was dinner in the oven (courtesy of Carla) and Chris had taken the initiative to pull out some of his favorite board games, stacking them neatly on the counter. Eddie had asked Bobby to rearrange their schedules for the week, and they were both going to be off the next two days, to give Buck plenty of time to recover; Chris had pulled nearly every pillow and blanket they owned into the living room, creating a huge nest with surprising skill.
The past few months had been… rough on the 118, between the bomb, the lawsuit, the accidental robbery, the list just kind of went on and on. As bad as things were for the house, though, they all weighed ten times heavier on Bucks shoulders—not for no reason, but fuck if it felt like the poor boy couldn’t catch a break.
The most recent issue had resurfaced about a month ago. They had just been wrapping up a 24 hour shift, idly shooting the shit, and Chim had mentioned that he and Maddie had a group therapy appointment. The 118 were no stranger to therapy as a whole—Eddie had gone through it, Bobby was still in it, Hen and her old life coach still met once a month after they re-connected.
“Eh, therapy doesn’t really work for me.” Buck had said, kicking his feet up and over Eddie’s lap, a move that Eddie secretly loved even if he wasn’t about to mention it. “But then again, the one session that I actually had wound up with the both of us on her couch before she would clear me to return to service, so…”
You could have heard a pin drop in the moments that followed, and Buck’s easy grin was quickly tightened into something more serious, more nervous, like he wasn’t aware of what he had said.
“Buck…” Hen spoke first, her voice low and slow, like she were talking to an animal about to flee—and if the sudden tightness of Buck’s legs beneath Eddies hands meant anything, it showed how close to the truth that analogy was. “Buck, are you saying that your therapist made you sleep with her before she cleared you?”
Buck looked honest to god confused, and Eddie just wanted to shake him.
“I mean, she didn’t force me, it just kind of… happened. That was during my Buck 1.0 days, though. You guys know I’m better than that now, Buck 2.0 is here to stay. Right? You… You guys know I’m better now, right?”
“Buck, he, no.” Eddie spoke now, his hand gently squeezing Buck’s good leg, shaking his head slowly. “If I’m understanding this, that is not on you. She took advantage of you like that, that’s… that ain’t right.” he said simply, shrugging his shoulders. Before he could speak again, offer some reassuring words, Bobby spoke up, his face tight with concern.
“Buck, why didn’t you tell any of us about that?”
Which, apparently, was the wrong thing to say.
Eddie felt Buck tense up like a snapped rubber band before he pulled himself back into an upright position, and though he missed the warmth across his lap, he was far more concerned with bracing for whatever was about to happen. Buck snorted, shaking his head, his voice clipped as he stood up, a sure sign he was in defensive mode. “Bobby, you had fired me the week before for… my indiscretions while in uniform. Forgive me if I didn’t feel like I wanted to risk my job again.”
“Buck, hang on, I didn’t mean—Buck, come back! Eddie!”
Buck had turned on his heel and almost ran out of the loft, and Eddie was quick on his tail, keeping a safe distance until they were both in the locker room. Buck whirled on him when the door closed, the anger drained out of his face, leaving a shell of panic in its place.
“Eddie, cmon, you know that I’m not like that anymore, right? I don’t do that! I’m good, I promise, I—“
Any other words were drowned out when Eddie pulled him into a hug—a risky move in and of itself, but he knew that Buck was one of the most tactile (and touch starved) people on the planet. His gamble paid off, thankfully; he immediately felt Buck’s arms encircle him, body going lax against his chest. “Buck, no one is blaming you. I’m sorry that it might seem that way. I wasn’t even here for Buck 1.0 but I still know that was not your fault, okay?”
Eddie paused, waiting until he got a muffled sound out of Buck to pull back from the hug, looking at him dead in the eye.
“Listen… Buck, I really think you should report this. She’s a doctor, she can’t just continue on like that. What she did to you wasn’t just bad, or wrong, it was illegal.”
--
In the end, five other men and two women had stepped forward after Buck made his complaint. Two cops, four firefighters, and one paramedic, all with similar stories and similar outcomes.
The only good thing about it was because they were all state employees, they were able to opt for a closed door hearing, investigation, and trial.
Buck had spent the day behind closed doors, giving his statement to a camera, then to the prosecutor, then in a closed courtroom, in front of a jury, a judge, and a very unhappy looking Dr Wells… well, Ms. Wells, now that she had her license revoked.
Eddie knew that a lot had happened, but he also knew Buck and knew that the last thing Buck would want to do all day would be continue to talk about it; so between he and Special Agent Christopher, Eddie felt sure they had a way to keep Buck’s mind far from the past all night long.
“Target inbound!”
Eddie shook away his thoughts as he heard Chris’ little voice wavering with excitement—sure enough, Buck’s Jeep had parked out front, and while they were both fully obvious from the curtains, Eddie still turned his head and made a big shushing gesture to Chris, who started to giggle.
Once they heard Buck’s key turning in the lock (yeah, Eddie had given him a key, so what?) they both pulled back, and Eddie almost burst out laughing at the faux look of shock on Buck’s face when he and Chris both yelled “surprise!”
The shock may have been fake, but there was no pretending when Buck smiled at them, the sheer joy on his face making Eddie’s shoulders sag in relief. He looked a little tired around the eyes, maybe, but he was glad that Buck was still Buck, and that this hopefully wouldn’t be weighing on him for much longer.
Chris was off, immediately, talking a mile a minute while he started to set up one of his favorite board games, and Eddie had to smiles he took Buck’s coat, resolutely ignoring how good the other male really looked in a suit. “Sorry. The only way I could really get him on board without telling him the full details was telling him you needed a surprise party to make you feel better.”
Buck put his hand up on Eddie’s shoulder, and while Eddie could have basked happily in the glow from his smile for an age and a half, he lit up like the Fourth of July when Buck leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.
Fully aware he looked like a love struck teenager, Eddie rose a hand to his cheek when Buck pulled away, the smile on his lips shocked but pleased all at once. “What was that for?”
“For this. This is perfect, Eddie. Thank you for… well, just thanks.”
--
They had made it a few rounds into whatever the card game that Chris had picked out—Eddie still couldn’t quite wrap his mind around it, but Chris and Buck seemed to be having a good time—when the oven chirped, signaling the start of dinner; and just like that, the game was forgotten. Chris basically launched out of his chair and into the living room, announcing that it was Movie Time, and far be it for Buck or Eddie to disagree with him.
Eddie scooped out some of the baked pasta in to three different bowls while Buck raided the pantry for movie snacks, and by the time that they made it to the living room, Chris was 90% buried in blankets and pillows on the floor.
It wasn’t easy to get settled in behind him, but by the opening credits to The Incredibles were rolling, Eddie and Buck were wedged in behind Christopher in the blanket pile, relaxing against the couch, snacks disbursed between them. Chris was lost to the world outside of the movie, but Eddie could almost feel Buck tensing up beside him, winding himself back up like a spring, and well... that wouldn’t do at all.
It was amazing how much they could say without saying anything at all. Eddie raised one of his arms and gave Buck an expectant look, to which Buck shook his head, looking at Eddie like he was crazy (and blushing too, and wow, that was a treat). Eddie only rose a brow, gesturing to his now open side, and Buck stared at him, before giving up with a sigh, slowly rearranging himself as to not disturb Chris.
He slotted himself in against Eddie’s side like he fit there, and Eddie felt more than just a smug sense of victory as he put his arm around Buck, tugging him closer, gently leaning their heads together. Once Buck started to relax, he leaned in—knowing full well that Buck’s attention was anywhere but the movie—and kissed his temple, right above his birthmark.
“You did a really hard thing today, and it brought a lot of good into the world. I’m really, really proud of you, Buck.”
Buck didn’t respond—not verbally, anyway, but Eddie could feel the thousand degree stare Buck gave him when he turned his head, like he was going to stare directly into Eddies soul, search for any sign he was being sarcastic, or patronizing, not that Eddie cared. He was being completely honest, and he could see Buck’s expression falter as he realized that.
Eddie’s smile only grew as Buck scanned over his face again, though it was his turn to look surprised when Buck pulled a hand up to rest against Eddie’s cheek. Eddie leaned into it instinctively as he felt his eyes half lid, because Buck was moving again, pulling himself closer, and it was all Eddie could do to remain perfectly still, give Buck the chance to move closer or pull away, even if he wanted to flip them over right now and kiss Buck within an inch of his life.
As it was, their first kiss was perfect—Buck in his arms, Chris buried in blankets, and Edna Mode in the background. And even if the road to get there was rough, Eddie wouldn’t have changed it for the world.
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@siriuslyjamie where feet may fall ( and fear surrounds me ) smartbuckley on AO3
This right now though. OMG.
Oh no. Buck doesn't have a kid to say bye to. Or so he and others thinks. We know!
Modeling! Modeling?
You tell him Eddie. You tell him!
He misses hearing you voice at night! Omg!
I miss you too buck fuck!
I've officially left my body
The fake smile buck plasters on is real when it comes to Christopher
I'm deceased y'all
Eddie grounding buck as he's thinking of the Bombing no!
Don't do anything stupid while I'm not watching your back okay?
Eddie I always care Diaz fuck!
They're back from Austin and oh no the parents are coming. Fuck!
Buck's triggered by explosives this is both ironic and deeply sad. No.
Shit he just revealed that he's seeing a therapist on accident
Buck called them but they never answer him any time. Fuck. I'm crying. You deserve better man.
Yeah Buck you've grown so much since you joined the 118 and left home buddy you did good!
I fell asleep I was so tired lol.
The parents are here. They're judging. Ugh. I hate it here.
The parents thinking buck freeloaders off of Chimney because he's comfortable there when he's practically family and now he's gonna be regardless of what they say or do I'm crying
Excuse you Buckley's telling Maddie off for leaving Doug then invalidating buck's trauma when you weren't ever around to see it his he nearly died and lived through an event filled with both pain and death surrounding him
Oh no fuck he just admitted he's in love with Eddie while talking about the Tsunami and Christopher OMG
They just found buck on the side of the road and they reveal he's adopted while arguing with him no that's why they're detached of him
Buck's running, it's his turn now, only he's, he needs time to think, to process, Oh, Maddie knew he was adopted but not that they didn't even want him ouch why
Gdi no buck staring in the mirror and thinking his birth mother didn't want him since he was just left to be found by the Buckley's buddy it may hurt but you are a wonderful guy my man and that's without the Buckleys help you did so much after you left home bud but Maddie loves you okay gdi
No one's ever wanted him everybody always leaves ouch but looks whose here now you've still got the station and the 118 and Eddie and Chris cough because they're both together with the others and an individual group
Punching the mirror no buck oh God he's stress baking Bobby would be startled and proud you've picking up his coping habits man
And Eddie's now just there watching buck at the punching bag looking fine as hell and here for him but not knowing God Chimney didn't tell him yet
Buck's crying in the locker room Eddie's sitting next to him and they never even wanted buck ouch
Eddie's hugging him now fuck I'm soft let this boy find peace it's okay buck Eddie's here for you man
Eddie kissing buck's head I'm dead
You tell him Eddie we're here for you I'm here for you buck hell yeah use your words bud good for you
Buck is trapped in the warehouse and falls into water triggering memories of his past holy shit
Modeling buck's modeling sounds about right totally possible
His arms in a cast fucking hell poor guy can't catch a break but you're alive buck and that's good you can heal and hopefully it's not too bad
What the fuck he's thinking about high school Oh no his parents didn't answer and what he's a teenager in the hospital alone!
Buck sending photos to Maddie of his travels like the post cards tho
Wtf someone tried to murder him or caused an accident and hurt buck because they were jealous of his parents owning company how ironic since they barely care
Oh buck 1.0 starts in South America while bartender huh
Buck's lover is an older man omg
No he was a married man and Buck didn't know he didn't mean to the guy cheated on his wife!
Buck's gonna be a seal now
Oh the old college house with buck's room mates from s1 he's starting his fire academy training
Buck feels guilty for taking up space in the hospital even though he's legit hurt my guy please stop and yes Eddie's here for you he's your best friend and he loves you
Did Eddie lie saying they're married please tell me he did that old trope alive and kicking yes!
Buck wakes and wants to confront his parents one last time before they leave OMG they're still here
Eddie freaked out at the thought of losing buck just the same as Buck did when he was buried
Oh fuck the Buckleys are alone in Chimney's place and Buck's gonna confront them alone with Eddie outside waiting I can't you can do this buddy get your closure man
You deserve so much buck like you deserve to be happy to man
Buck distancing himself by calling them by their first names
Yes buck use what you learned in therapy bro your techniques
He's not your Evan he's Buck! Say it right Phil and Marge !
Buck standing up to them
They put all that responsibility on Maddie who was barely 9 or 10
Buck tried pleasing them but it never worked they don't love him
I Have My Own Family! YES! 118
Buck left his toxic parents for one last time and didn't look back Bye!
Buck doesn't detach from Maddie by calling her his sister, he really loves her with all his heart she isn't like their horrible parents
Maddie kept everything is that really surprising though yes!
All his letters and photos like that postcard from before I'm crying
Everything Buck sent was an escape for Maddie from Doug the dog she wanted to be with he little brother and now they're together here with chimney and everyone
Buck is a Buckley whether they like it or not he's Maddie's brother!
“Look through the photos Buck. Remember who you are, and who you’ve grown to be. I’m so proud of you, alright?” Maddie whispers, kissing his forehead when Buck nods, a small smile on his face before he walks Maddie through the door. - Put this on my tombstone. I'm blown away now.
The good parts and the bad parts of your past all add up to being who you are you experienced it and grew from it your life things changed and so did you for the better you're wonderful buddy
Buck's heart was locked away to protect it but someone hurting him again but they got in and they love him he's theirs and they're his
I'm trying to not cry right now
Buck's got a home to go to you say would it be a place where he's not really a guest at maybe hmm ?
OMG they were dating pre pandemic and Eddie asked him to move in with him with them fuck but Buck couldn't say yes yet he still had stuff to work through
Buck's walls were no match to Eddie and Chris slowly coming in and alerting his world for the better guys I'm losing it here
“I love you, Eddie. I’ve loved you for so damn long and I’m tired of letting fear and insecurities stop me from going further in my life.” - I'm still screaming at this shit fuck
Eddie waited buck's ready now
He's ready to go public and to move in and for what's to come
Buck knows who he is and that he chooses the Diaz boys Yes!
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alostsock · 4 years
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Buck
Summary: Plotless Buck angst? Just a little exploration of a headcanon that Buck is (and kind of always has been) pretty depressed. Maybe after he drops out of SEAL training he goes to South America to bartend, and then moves back to LA still not knowing what to do with his life, and then say this little piece starts there. What is plot? What are timelines? I don’t know. Not particularly edited.
TW: PAST OVERDOSE/ALCOHOL ABUSE, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, DEPRESSION, LOW SELF-WORTH, SELF-DEPRECATING THOUGHTS, POSSIBLE PAST SUICIDE ATTEMPT, SUICIDAL IDEATION, PAST SEXUAL ASSAULT (the therapist), EATING ISSUES (?)
PLEASE NOTE: Depression is a (the?) big big theme here, so mind the TW.
Like anybody, Buck has insecurities.
Not smart enough, not strong enough, not good enough, too loud, too needy, too weak, too much.
He wonders if everyone feels this way, sometimes - this useless, this worthless, this hopeless - but then he remembers that other people just generally are better than him. That they don’t need to feel like they don’t matter, because they do. They do matter.
He takes too many pills one night, and washes them back with too much alcohol. He wakes up in the hospital, and when asked he can only answer honestly that he really doesn’t know if he meant to do it or not. After a short stay during which nobody visits and nobody calls (the only number he gives them is Maddie’s, but apparently it’s been disconnected) he’s introduced to a social worker who urges him to get some help.
He really doesn’t have anything else going on in his life, so he complies. He gets prescribed antidepressants, and the first ones don’t seem to do anything at all. The second prescription pushes him dangerously close to the edge again, so that ends quickly too. Finally, they land on a combination that seems to change... something. He’s not exactly happy and carefree, but he feels like maybe he can function now. He only spirals every day or two, instead of spending every second of every day choking on his misery.
He goes to therapy.
He hates it, but he goes. He hates talking about his feelings almost as much as he hates feeling them, but he eventually opens up. He tells the therapist about how whenever he speaks he worries that he’s upsetting someone, or he’s being annoying, or he’s being too much, so while sometimes he can’t control his runaway mouth (after which he always lies awake thinking about every stupid thing he said), sometimes he just doesn’t say anything at all.
He tells the therapist about how he constantly feels like everyone around him is disgusted by him or bored by him, how they must see that he’s not good at anything, that his brain is wrong, that he doesn’t belong.
He tells him about how he’s stupid, how he’s lazy, how he can’t focus on anything, how he can’t stick with anything long enough to get anything done.
He tells him that most days he thinks about how the only way to fix his miserable existence would be to end it. The therapist asks him “Aren’t there people who would miss you?” but Buck thinks about how he woke up alone after his overdose and knows that the answer is no.
He puts in the work, though. He dutifully takes his pills and calls helplines when things feel dangerous, he goes to his weekly therapy appointments and with the therapist’s help tries to sort through which thoughts are “rational” and which supposedly aren’t.
He tries to learn to tell himself that he is valid.
He does as asked and repeats positive phrases to himself until he has them memorized.
I am kind, I am valid, I am not worthless.
He tries to internalize that no, everybody doesn’t hate him. No, everybody doesn’t want him to leave. No, he isn’t worthless. No, he isn’t selfish. No, he isn’t stupid.
He is kind and sort of good at some things maybe but he always tries his very best in everything he does, and that should be enough.
He starts eating better, starts working out again, and on a whim he signs up for the LAFD academy and he finds that there are actually whole days, sometimes whole weeks, where he doesn’t actively think about how much he hates himself.
Whenever he does, he goes to a bar, has a few too many drinks and finds someone with a pretty smile who is all too willing to tell him (or show him) that they think he’s pretty great, and that seems to work well enough. He graduates, and he joins the 118, and he thinks that maybe, just maybe, that therapist was right. Maybe he is good enough.
He gets fired and reinstated, seemingly in the same breath, but he steels himself and dedicates himself to being better. he recognizes poor coping mechanisms for what they are and he promises himself that he’ll do better.
He sleeps with his new therapist, and that almost sends him spiralling but he pushes it to the back of his mind, files it as another one of his own stupid mistakes, and tries to forget about it, and about how dirty it made him feel.
He’s fine.
His morning pills become habit, he goes to work, his coworkers become family, and he almost forgets how hard it used to be to just... be.
Maddie is back in his life, and she’s safe, and he has Hen and Chim and Bobby and Athena and Eddie and Christopher and he finds himself feeling almost whole, almost all of the time.
I am a good person, I am smart, people care about me.
Then his leg gets crushed by a firetruck. 
His control on... everything... feels tenuous, and he catches himself missing meals and sleeping all day but he rallies. He dedicates himself to healing and getting himself back to work and as he gets stronger he finds himself actually feeling hopeful. Nervous and anxious yes, but tentatively optimistic that maybe everything will be okay soon.
Then he has the embolism.
He finds himself slipping.
Hopeless.
Eddie and Christopher are just trying to drag him out of his spiral when the tsunami hits, and then everything really falls apart. Bosko, Bobby, the lawsuit...
Then Eddie’s telling him he’s exhausting and that he only thinks of himself and what little hold he had is gone, because now he has proof.
You’re exhausting.
He is, but really he knew all along. Buck knew he was too much. He knew he wasn’t wanted. He spent so many hours in that stupid therapist’s office trying to convince himself that those thoughts were wrong, and he spent so many years afterwards trying to hold onto the idea that maybe he was worth something but there Eddie is, confirming everything he’s been afraid of, everything he’s known, all along.
He gets back to work, sure, and after a rocky start things seem to settle and the team halfheartedly assures him that they’re family and that they won’t leave him but he can tell that even though they maybe want to mean it, they don’t.
Maddie has Chimney (he’s so happy for her it hurts sometimes) and he realizes that everyone in his life has their own people. They have everything they need, and he’s just... there.
They’re happy, and there he is inserting himself where he’s not wanted, making everything about him.
Self-centered, obnoxious, stupid.
Worthless, useless, selfish.
Alone.
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pherryt · 6 years
Note
#8, 18, 31, and 41
8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?I was about to say Supernatural was my latest fandom, but it's just my biggest, most persevering fandom (My husband, btw, who first turned on netflix and said "Watch this. Yeah, I know you don't like horror. Watch it anyway. I promise you'll like it.")
so i think the correct answer would have to be Venom - and it's @feathers-and-cigarettes fault cause he talked up the movie so much I had to go watch it, and then i fell in love, and he's been spoon feeding me bits and pieces of the comic stuff here and there too
18. What ship have you written the most about?
probably destiel, to be honest. *does a quick check just for Shits and giggles*
Okay, so, out of my top 10 most used relationship tags on A03 - the top tag (Destiel) has 96 instances, and all the others combined come to 79. 
Yeaaaaaah. Destiel it is.
31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?
I can't possibly pull receipts right now - I wouldn't even know where to look. Some of have been for my writing in general, some have been for specific stories, some have been in comments, others reblogs, or even PMS
but I've had other writers tell me how well my dialogue flows, others tell me how strong a certain character voice is, and those are definitely heartening to hear.
I've had a few readers say something along the lines of "This was great! I just finished and I'm about to re-read it" which is mindboggling.
any time i see my fic rec'd i'm absolutely tickled pink.
i love the short and sweet comments, the in depth comments. the comments on a long fic that only come at the end because they were so engrossed they couldn't put it down, or the commenters who manage to somehow comment on every chapter - I find all those things so awesome.
41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:
I tend to start and finish stories in one sitting if I can - which is what makes reading longer fics more difficult for me. I love ‘em and I don’t want to put them down, even if i have to, so I actually LIKE reading WIPS because it helps me control myself. That means, my current reading list is full of WIPS:
manage me (i'm a mess) by technically_direct
Venom, symbrock, 17+ chapters, 76k+ words, Mature (Funny as hell!)
SummaryThe thing about Eddie, right, is that he's kinda an enormous fuckup. And it's starting to catch up to him a bit.
For real, the BEST thing to happen in those six months after he and Anne broke up was getting an alien parasite, and that was accounting for the whole 'it was eating his organs' thing.
Or Else by @jupiterjames
Supernatural, Destiel, sabriel, 15+ chapters, 78k+ words, Explicit (slow burn)
SummaryIn the years following his mother's death in a house fire, Dean Winchester begins to develop OCD as a way to cope with the loss. After more than a decade without a diagnosis, his symptoms grow more severe. And after the sudden death of John Winchester, Dean is left to cope by himself and Sam is forced to quit his undergrad in order to care for him. Ashamed of his shut-in life, and guilty that his little brother has become his caretaker at the expense of everything else, Dean seeks out therapy, and five years later, is holding down a full time job, can freely visit his favorite coffee shop to get a daily dose of Castiel, the (hot) hippie owner, and Sam is now free to return to school.
Sam Winchester would do anything for his brother, but he is more than thrilled to finally be returning to school, even if he is a 23 year-old sophomore. It also helps that a certain smart mouthed TA is helping him get back into the groove. Of course, getting a good read on Gabriel is just about as easy as advanced Chemistry, and he's not so great at that, either. As the semester goes on, he gets the distinct impression that his orderly life is about to get messy.
Crossing Lines by Hungrydean
Supernatural, Destiel, Saileen, 7+ chapters, 15k + words, Explicit
summaryHighly renowned therapist Dean Winchester knows how to help just about everyone. He's young yet experienced; the perfect blend of understanding his clients and knowing his job.
C. Novak is cheeky, bold, and obnoxious- but Dean does not shy away easily. Castiel Novak is a challenge, one Dean is determined to win. But Dean soon learns that Castiel is different from his other clients in more ways than he expected.
Pieced Together (part 2 of A Broken World) by mishaminion69 and sydkn3e
Supernatural, Destiel, Saileen, A/B/O, 15+ chapters, 154k+ words, Explicit
SummaryDean's equally exciting and terrifying news are forced to take a backseat for Castiel as he struggles to find the Omega ring for which his Omega's abuser was recruiting. While Cas is away, Dean grows closer to Eileen- also expecting her first pup- and her Alpha mate, Sam, which gives him insight into his foggy past and a glimpse into his future.
The increasing time apart proves difficult for both Dean and Castiel, leading way to feelings of inadequacy for Dean and discomfort in his rapidly changing body. Meanwhile, Cas fears that spending so much time in his wolf form while searching for the imprisoned Omegas will drain away his humanity...and ultimately lose him his mate.
Thursday's Angel by @unforth
Supernatural, Destiel, 14+ chapters, 65k + words, Explicit, Murder Husband
Summary:Castiel, angel of the Lord, is at peace with the mission assigned him by God almighty. His job - no, his purpose, the meaning of his existence - is to slay demons. He can see them, their eyes blackened by the evil they’ve done, their souls corrupted beyond hope of salvation, and when he finds one, he sends them to hell. Yes, the work is hard, the price to himself steep, but God has commanded it, and it’s better that Castiel bear the stain of murder than some poor mortal suffer because Castiel wasn’t strong enough to do what must be done.
And tonight’s demon - a murderer at least twice over, confirmed by Castiel's own eyes - is no different, no matter how fair his visage appears when not warped by sin.
Castiel will do his duty, as he always has, and when the deed is done - and no sooner - he’ll pray for the souls of the fallen, and for the forgiveness Castiel knows God will not - cannot - grant.
*Please see author's note for more information (this is dark but it's not as dark as it seems and I've added some explanatory information there)*
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reddieaddict · 7 years
Text
You’re Gonna Live Forever In Me (Part 3/4)
Prequel to Richie’s Eulogy
Official Cast
Part 1 Part 2
A/N: This chapter is when we finally get to see Richie in all his hispanic glory! Haha I hope you all like how I characterized the Losers. I know it’s kinda different than how other people do, but I wanted to spice things up. Bill’s parents are nicer in my fic than in Canon, but I liked to imagine eventually they help and became nicer. Whatever though. I also added a lot more humor into this chapter. I fucking love doing dialogue and really hope you all find it funny. Enjoy. 
Pairings: Reddie with a slutty side of Stenbrough and some implied Benverly 
Summary: It’s senior year and Eddie has began to notice Richie exhibiting strange behavior. He is worried he might be hiding something, but doesn’t know how to confront Richie about it without setting him off and making matters worse.
December 1994
It was Christmas in Derry, Maine, and just as it’s been since the conception of the club, all seven losers found themselves in the Denbrough’s household, preparing for their annual holiday dinner. Eddie, Mike, Ben, and Bev’s parents preferred to celebrate Christmas Eve as a family, which, coincidentally (and conveniently), allowed the Losers to spend actual Christmas Day with each other. Stan was Jewish as fuck, so he could do whatever the hell he wanted on the Christmas; and Richie’s parents didn’t care what he did any other day of the year, so why would Christmas be any different? For some of the Losers, this was rather poetic; since their friends were more of a family to them than anything their parents could hope or care to be.
  Despite having become accustomed to his parent’s active indifference, the holiday season was still an agonizingly difficult time for Richie. This was the time of year when the world seemingly would mock and torture him with imagery of happy families, as if to say “You see this? You will never have this!”  Of course, this wasn’t really the case, but it sure felt like it was to Richie.  Seeing all these families on TV, in advertisements, and even around town indulging in their pseudo-domestic bliss that came with the yuletide had Richie’s heart set ablaze with jealousy. “How can people be so happy? Why couldn’t he have that? Why did his parents have to be so awful?” These questions loomed over Richie, taunting him.
  Unable to make the pessimistic voices in his head dissipate, he figured if he spoke louder and didn’t stop, he could drown them out enough to make the season tolerable. Unfortunately this made him especially intolerable to everyone, except the Losers. Richie has always liked to crack inappropriate jokes and be the center of attention, but this was taking it to a whole new level. Anything and everything out of his trashmouth was either a crass joke or an obscenity, making his nickname even more fitting. The Losers weren’t thrilled about this, but, being aware of his situation, had developed more patience for him throughout the years. This didn’t mean that there weren’t times when Richie crossed thresholds and sent them into a fury.
“GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, ASSHOLE!” Having Richie pestering him all day, had Eddie fed up. “I don’t care if there is a mistletoe under every fucking doorframe, I am not making out with you!”  
“Baby, don’t be such a prude! Es Navidad! Dame un besito! Andale mi nino lindo! Presioso!” Eddie hated PDA and refused to kiss Richie outside of the privacy of their rooms, but it was their first Christmas as a couple and Richie wanted to make it special. So, he decided to bring out the big guns: talking in Spanish. Whenever Richie spoke in his native language, Eddie would melt and Richie could get him to do almost anything. 
Eddie froze in place as fire spread across his cheeks, giving away just how effective his boyfriend’s tactic had been.  “Umm. . . uh. . . ahem! NO! Stop it! I know what you’re doing and that is not going to work this time! I have to get back into the kitchen to help Mrs.Denbrough with dinner! You’ve already distracted me long enough!”
“Bebe, no seas asi! Amorsito! Nene!” Richie cooed as he wrapped himself around Eddie’s shoulders. “Solo un besito chiquito! Aaaandaleeee!”
“Fuck off.” Eddie pushed him away and began to make his way back into the kitchen. “If you keep annoying me, I won’t kiss you for the rest of the week.”
“Hijo de tu puta madre!” Richie mumbled under his breath, crossing his arms over his chest, and a child-like pout settling on his rosy lips.
“I KNOW WHAT THE FUCKING MEANS, DUMBASS!” Eddie retorted as he disappeared behind the kitchen door.
“Oh shit. . .” This is when Richie knew he fucked up.
“So, what happened? Did you get Eddie to kiss you or what?” Stan smirked as he continued to set the table. All of the Losers had been setting up for dinner, while Richie was on his quest for affection.
  “Of course he didn’t! Why do you even bother asking, knowing how Eddie is?” Mike answered, beating Richie to the punch. 
“Because then he has to admit to us that he didn’t, making his failure humiliating as well as disappointing.” Stan looked directly into Richie’s eyes with a condescending self-satisfaction. 
“Wow! You’re evil. . . and I think it’s making fall in love with you all over again.” Bill placed a delicate kiss onto his boyfriend’s temple as he passed by him with a stack of plates in his hands. Through years of speech therapy his stutter had pretty much disappeared, except in the instances when he found himself inebriated. 
Richie was none too pleased with getting ambushed by the people who he was starting to regret calling his friends. “Honestly, I don’t get what you’re being so smug about, Staniel. My Eddie is a classy lady with decorum, which more than I can say for you. Don’t think any of us have forgotten about catching you bobbing for Bill’s apple last Halloween!” 
“CAN YOU NOT!?” Bev interjected, disgusted with the memory of Bill and Stan mid-blowjob being forced back into her mind. “How are any of SUPPOSED to forget about it if you keep bringing it up, Richie!?”
“Yeah, and my mom is in the next room, idiot!” Bill’s parents were aware and supportive of his son’s relationship, but that didn’t mean they were interested in knowing the details, especially such graphic ones. 
“Buscame y me vas a encontrar! That means come for me and you shall find me, Big Bill. I wouldn’t have to put you on blast like that, if you kept your bitch in check.” 
“RICHIE!” Ben was fed up with the conversation. He knew there was no real malice behind any of their words, but this was hardly appropriate banter for Christmas dinner with Bill parents. The Denbroughs knew the Losers had quite the potty mouths, but expected them to cut that shit out on Christmas. “Why don’t you help us finish setting up the table, instead of arguing? Dinner is ready and we need to have everything set up, before Eddie and Mrs.Denbrough bring in the serving dishes!”
“Yeah, I think that is a good idea. God knows the last thing I want to think about during dinner is blowjobs.” Mike was by no means a prude, but was not eager to picture his friends getting it on, either. 
“Agreed.” Bev stated as she finished placing the utensils on the table.
They finished setting up and took their seats just as Eddie entered the dinning room with the first platter.  He placed it in the open space at the center of the table and took his seat beside his boyfriend. “Hola, mi amor!” he said completely butchering the usually romantic Spanish language, with the thickest accent anyone had ever heard, but Richie didn’t care. The sentiment was sweet nonetheless and he thought it was adorable when Eddie tried to speak Spanish.
“Eddie-Bear! My Love! Why are you sitting there, when there is a perfectly comfortable seat here on daddy’s lap?” Richie knew just how to ruin a cute moment. 
“Can you behave!? Bill’s mom worked very hard on this dinner! Don’t be rude and wrangle your trashmouth!” Eddie looked up at Richie, who still comically dwarfed him even when seated.
“Whatever, bitch. Don’t be trippin’ balls, you know I got this shit.” He said with a straight face and not a hint of humor to his voice, knowing this would set Eddie off. God, how he enjoyed teasing his boyfriend!!
“Listen here, motherfuck-“
“Eddie!” just then, at the most incriminating moment, Bill’s parents walked into the room, each with a dish in their grasp. “I am so disappointed in you! You know we don’t allow foul language at the dinner table, especially on Christmas, young man!” 
“I’m sorry, Mrs.Denbrough. It won’t happen again.” Eddie avoided her eyes at all costs, as if to catch them he would cause him spontaneously combust. He reached under the table and gave Richie a hard pinch to the sensitive flesh of his thighs. A vengeance that was subtle, but very much effective. 
“OUCH! You dick!” Richie whisper yelled, only audible to Eddie, and Bev who sat beside him. She giggled.
  “You deserve that! You got poor little Eddie in trouble!” she teased.
“Don’t talk about me like I’m some defenseless creature. I’m a man!” Eddie resented his height, and it infuriated him when anybody made him feel weak because of it. “And, yes, you did deserve that, trashmouth.” 
“Whatever you say, my little love-muffin. Ay que lindo mi bebe henanito!” Richie knew Eddie hated when he talked to him like a baby, which is exactly why he did it so often.
“Uuuuuuuugh!” Eddie was exhausted and just wanted to enjoy dinner. “Whatever.” The Losers exchanged amused looks. Eddie and Richie always knew how to put on a show, even if they didn’t mean to. Well, at least Eddie didn’t mean to.
  “Alright, everybody! Let’s dig in!” Mr. Denbrough said wanting to change topic. Bill’s parents adored having the Losers over for Christmas, even more so since Georgie’s death. It was a pleasant distraction from his absence, though nothing could ever fully make their pain go away. It was still nice to have a house full of children, even if said children weren’t really kids anymore. 
  As they all began to enjoy their dinner, the couples segregated into their own individual conversations. Mike, being the eligible bachelor that he is, dipped in from one conversation to another. Mike was so charming and intelligent, and always adapted so well to any crowd, so it was effortless for him to jump from one topic to another. Ben and him had a particularly strong bond and could find themselves lost in conversation for hours. It was probably due to their similar qualities and shared interests. One could say they were Richie and Bev’s counterpart; both platonic, both incredible close.
  The evening went on pleasantly, as it did every year. Eddie and Richie, surprisingly, bickered very little. Mostly because no one was paying them any attention, so there was no motivation for Richie to rile him up. Their conversation consisted mostly of cute inside jokes and sweet nothings. It would have been perfect, if not for Richie’s constant glances in Mr. and Mrs. Denbrough’s direction. As the boys spoke, Richie would face Eddie, but his eyes would dart towards the parents and linger just a bit too long. Then he’d catch himself, and snap his attention back to his boyfriend. Richie has always had a short attention span, but this was different. It seemed more like Richie COULDN’T get his eyes off the Denbroughs, rather than being incapable of paying attention to Eddie’s words.
Annoyed with Richie’s behavior, he turned to see what it was that he found so fascinating. What he found was a thing of fairytales. There were Mr. and Mrs. Denbrough, leaned into one another with her hands lovingly enveloped within his, as they engaged in their own conversation. The way he looked into her eyes was that of a man who could see the answers to the universe and find treasures untold within her emerald irises. An incandescent luminance seemed to radiate from them, and it was breathtaking in the most understated way possible.
   Eddie was touch by such a display of unconditional love, but couldn’t understand why Richie found it so hypnotizing. It’s not like it was the first time they had seen Bill’s parents being affectionate toward each other. What made this instance so special? Eddie turned back to face Richie, who seemed to realize he had caught on to what he was doing. “You okay?”
“Yeah, totally.” Richie responded as he cleared his throat and sat up on his chair making him seem a whole foot taller.  Whatever it was that Richie found so engaging about the Denbroughs, it was clear to Eddie that Richie DID NOT want to talk about it. Knowing that asking him anything else about it would just aggravate him and ruin what has been a beautiful night, he relented. 
“Okay.” He reached out for Richie’s hand and began to caress his knuckles with the pads of his thumbs. Richie turned to face him again, relaxing into the gesture. Eddie looked into his ebony eyes (noting to himself how much they resembled onyx) with sincere adoration and gifted him with the warmest of smiles. “I love you.”
  A smile grew onto Richie’s face; accentuating the creases besides his eyes, a sign Eddie’s words had meant more to him in that moment than they usually would have. And that was saying a something. “I love you, too.”
“Oh my god, I am so stuffed! Eddie you guys did such an amazing job! It was DELICIOUS!” Ben plopped himself on the couch and patted his belly. After dinner everyone had helped out with the dishes, making the whole process much quicker, and they were now ready to enjoy their movie marathon in the living room. 
“Thank you, but it was honestly all Mrs. Denbrough. I just did whatever she ordered me to do.” Eddie said humbly, seating himself in his usual spot on the floor, next to Richie.
“Hmmm. . . and what is it I have to do to get you to do the same for me, Eds?” Richie draped his arm around Eddie’s shoulder and pulled him closer to him. 
“Don’t be fucking gross! I just ate!” Stan cried from his seat on Bill’s lap. “I swear I’m gonna go all exorcist and projectile vomit all over you, if you don’t cut the shit, Richie!” 
“Okay now you’re the one being gross.” Bev grimaced at Stan’s words. “I’d rather talk about the film selection, than talk on any bodily functions or fluids.” 
“I second that motion!” Mike said as he sprawled out a large selection of VHS’s on the table in the center of the living room. Everyone leaned in to inspect the titles. “What do you guys think about a Christmas movie?”
“Isn’t that a little cliché?” Bill chimed.
  “Well when else are you supposed to watch a Christmas movie?” Ben quipped. “It’s not like we would watch A Christmas Story in July. Well, I don’t know about you, Bill, but we wouldn’t.”
“Appropriate or not, I don’t feel like watching a Christmas movie!” Richie interjected. 
“What about a scary movie!?” Mike suggested excitedly, as he held up the new Nightmare on Elm Street movie. 
“Yes!!!” Bev and Richie cheered in unison, then smiled at each other, proud of just how much they think alike. 
“We can’t watch a scary movie! You know how easily Eddie gets scared, you guys!” Bill warned as he directed a concerned look at Eddie.
“Shut the fuck up! I‘m not scared, you twig-bitch!” Bill was taken back by Eddie’s unexpected outburst. There was a reason Richie and Eddie made such a perfect couple. Amongst many other things, they shared the same lighting wit and venomous tongue. “Don’t project your pussy boyfriend’s fears on to me!”
“I love you so fucking much!” Richie beamed with pride as he hugged Eddie with all his might. “I think it’s so fucking HOT when you get snarky like that! Mmh,” he whispered into Eddie ear, only to find himself chastised by the petite spitfire. 
“I resent that, Eddie. I am not scared; I just think horror movies are stupid! They are all so predictable and exactly the same.” Stan attempted to defend himself to no avail. Everyone already knew what Eddie said was true.
  “It’s okay to be afraid, Stan. It’s not that big of a deal.” Mike assured Stan, sympathetically. 
“I’M NOT SCARED! Put on the fucking movie, I don’t care!” Stan was determined to prove his so-called friends wrong! 
“Are you sure, babe?” Bill asked, his words laced with uncertainty.
  “YES, I’M SURE BILL! WHAT THE HELL!?” Stan was disappointed that his boyfriend, out of everyone, didn’t believe in him enough to watch a horror movie. “Just put on the fucking movie!” 
“Okay, people! You heard Curly Sue!” Richie chanted, earning a leer from his ringlet adorned friend and a giggle from Ben. “Let’s get this shit started!” 
Mike took the VHS out of it’s plastic case and inserted it into the player. Everyone made themselves comfortable, paring into their respective couples, ready to enjoy the horror flick. Before they could begin, though, Bill’s parents entered to say goodnight, both ready to head to bed. “Alright, kids! We’re gonna go to bed. It was nice having you over again this year. Have a good night.” Mr. Denbrough said with the typical paternal formality one would expect from a father.
“There are plenty of snacks in the pantry, if you kids get hungry. Feel free to scavenge through.” Mrs. Denbrough added. 
“WAIT, MRS. DENBROUGH!” Bev yelled, startling Bill’s parents with the sudden exclamation.
“What is it, Bev!?” Concern littered her petite face. “What’s wrong?”
  “Oh gosh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you! Ha! Ha! It’s just that you’re both under the mistletoe.” She answered bashfully. 
“Oh, I guess we are, huh?” Mr. Denbrough smiled sweetly at his wife and she mirror his expression.
  “KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!” Everyone except Richie chanted. His stillness garnered the attention of his boyfriend, but Richie would never have noticed. He was lost; disconnect, but burdened. As the Denbroughs shared a kiss that could not be classified as anything other than a quick peck, Richie stared intensely and Eddie’s heart began to race. Eddie immediately recognized the expression that settled onto his face as the same one that he had on that terrifying September morning. It was unmistakable! It had been so long since he had seen it, but he could never confuse or forget it, even if he tried. It was burned into his memory like a scar.
“Richie. . . “ Eddie whispered warily, forgetting all about the other people in the room, who also seemed to be blissfully unaware of the situation between the two boys, having started to clap and cheer for the Denbroughs. 
“Hmm. Yeah, Eds?” This time around reaching Richie was much easier, as he snapped back into the present almost instantly. Again, just as last time, he immediately tried to overcompensate with smiles and kisses.  “What’s up, baby boy?” he asked nonchalantly as he leaned in for a kiss, which Eddie did not resist. 
“Uh. Nothing.” Eddie learned from his experience last time and decided now was NOT the time to interrogate his boyfriend about what just happened. He would leave it for another time when they could both be alone.  Richie just responded with another smile, only this time, the creases besides his eye did not make an appearance. 
“Hey you two! Are you ready to watch the movie or do we need to give you some privacy?” Mike asked from the recliner he had made himself comfortable on. Eddie took notice of the Denbrough’s absence, surmising they had probably gone to bed in the middle of their exchange, and now all eyes here on them.
  “Ha! Ha! Very funny.” He said sarcastically. “Press play, we’re ready.” 
“Okay, but no making out during the movie!” Mike taunted with a sing-song tone one would expect from a child. 
“Uh, when have we ever done that around you guys? Why don’t you say that to Stan and Bill!? They’re the ones that are always all over each other!” Eddie complained, in his tenor whine.
  “Don’t be a fucking hater, midge.” Stan retorted. 
  “You know, Staniel, I think I like you better with Bill’s dick in your mouth.” Eddie said glaring into Stan’s eyes, a smile spreading on to his lips. “At least then you’re quiet.”
“Oh fuck! Ha! Ha! Ha!” Ben cackled. “Damn, dude.” 
‘Okay! Okay! I’m pressing play now, everyone shut the fuck up!” Bev announced, taking the remote from Mike. She, too, had thought it was funny, but thought Stan had been humiliated enough for one day. 
Eddie found himself unable to pay attention through the duration of the movie, still concerned with Richie’s strange behavior. He instinctively wanted to be blunt and forward, but he knew better. If he just came out and asked what was wrong, Richie would just flip out on him again. No, he needed to be smart about this. He settled on dealing with this on their walk home, which wouldn’t be for few more hours. This gave him plenty of time to figure out how to approach the subject. He knew that no matter how much prep time he had, Richie would still end up upset somehow, but it didn’t matter. This was something that had to be addressed. He silently prayed to whatever deity would listen, to bless him with the same resilient determination when he was force to face off with a furious Ricardo Alonzo Tozier.
It was now a little passed midnight as Richie and Eddie trekked their way over to the latter’s house, their gloved hands laced together and swinging between them. It had been a quiet walk for the most part, but not uncomfortably so. Both of them found themselves content in the other’s presence, even if neither spoke a word. It was strange to see the couple so well known for their loud and heated arguments be so serene. As heartwarming as it all was, Eddie knew this was just the calm before the storm. Guilt began to overtake him and he decided to break through the stillness.
  “You know you can talk to me, right? I mean, like, about ANYTHING! I am here for you.” He said looking up at his raven-haired, statuesque boyfriend, forcing the calmest tone could possibly muster. 
“I know, baby-boy.” Richie responded avoiding eye contact, knowing where this conversation was going and wanting to evade it at all costs. 
  “So, um. . . what’s going on?” That was EXACTLY what Eddie had promised himself not to ask, and then he fucking went off and asked it anyway. He was so frustrated with himself. “Ahem. . . Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything is cool. It was a nice night, right?” Richie asked sullenly. 
“Yeah, of course.”
“Then, let’s not ruin it. I know where you’re going with this and I appreciate it, babe, but I don’t want to get into it.” Eddie was surprised and slightly hurt by Richie’s bluntness.  
“I’m not trying to ruin anything.” Eddie’s eyes darted away from his boyfriend and glued themselves onto the pavement beneath them. “I am just concerned.”
“I know you are, and like I said I appreciate that, but nothing is wrong. If something WERE wrong, I would tell you, Eds.” Richie’s tone was becoming more pointed. “No you wouldn’t.” Eddie said under his breath, which came out as a small cloud due to the freezing temperature of the evening.
“What did you say?” Richie stopped in his tracks and pulled his hand away. “What did you say, Eddie?” 
“Nothing.”
“No, go ahead say what you’re really thinking! You wanted to talk; well here’s your chance! Talk!” There was no going back now. 
“I-I-I . . . um. . . “ Eddie hesitated as he turned back to face Richie, “I said ‘No, you wouldn’t.’”
“And what the hell is that supposed to mean, Eddie?” Richie inched himself closer.
“It’s just that you never talk to me. I mean you do, but only . . .like, only when you . . .”
“Only when I what? When I run to you after my dad kicks my ass? After my mom throws a bottle at my head and tells me to kill myself? Hmm?! Is that what you can’t seem to say?” Richie was not holding back any punches. “It’s funny how you say you want to talk, but here we are and you aren’t even able to finish that sentence!”
   “It’s not that I can’t say it! I just have to walk on eggshells for you. If I say the wrong thing you get mad at me!” Eddie was starting to regret having brought the whole thing up.
“Oh, so it’s me!?” Richie widened and narrowed his eyes, pointing towards himself.  “So I’m the bad guy!?” 
“Richie, stop it! That is not what I said! Why does there always have to be a villain!? It’s just you and me; two people who care about each other! I am just trying to help…” Eddie tried his hardest to pacify Richie, but it seemed to make no difference. 
“No, bullshit! I tell you everything is fine! I ask you to trust me and you keep fucking digging, Eddie! Why can’t you just let shit be? Why do you have to keep nagging and bitching!? What the fuck do you want from me? If I don’t want to talk about something, maybe its cause I can’t! Has that ever occurred to you?! No, because you don’t fucking care! No, you just want to martyrize yourself! You want to save me! I don’t need saving Eddie. Just let it fucking go! LET! IT! GO!” Richie was full on shouting now, emphasizing the last three words of his rant by shoving his boyfriend. 
Eddie’s amber orbs began to shimmer with tears, but he refused to divert he eyes from Richie’s. “Why . . . Why are you being so mean? I didn’t mean to . . . I- I -I  was just-Ugh!” He could find a way to finish a thought, so overwhelmed with hurt and frustration. 
“You know what?” Regret had begun to sink in. Hurting Eddie was something Richie never wanted to do, but yet here was his Eds, crying because of him. “I-I-I’m just going to go home.” He turned around to walk back in the direction of his house, but before he could take more than one step he felt a small hand latch onto his arm. 
“Wait! Stop!” Eddie began to wipe tear off his face with the hand that was not grasping on to Richie. “No! Don’t leave! Is this what its going be like every time things get difficult? Are you always going to walk away? What’s going to happen when things get to be too hard? When I get to be too annoying? Are you just going to leave me forever?” 
“Eddie, I just can’t right now.” Richie pulled away and continued towards him house in wide strides; he needed to get out of there before he made things worse.
Without a second thought, Eddie chased after him and wrapped his small arms around the taller boy’s midsection, “STOP! DON’T LEAVE! I’M SORRY! I’M SORRY! I’M SORRY I MADE YOU MAD; I DIDN’T MEAN TO. I’LL LET IT GO, I PROMISE! JUST- PLEASE DON’T LEAVE!” Eddies sobs tore into Richie’s heart. His body trembled as his tears streamed down his cheeks uncontrollably, his voice deteriorating with every word. “Please don’t be mad at me! Please don’t leave me. I love you. I love you, Richie. I’ll let it go! . . . I’ll let it go.”
“Eddie. . .” Richie’s voice was tender and free of the malice that had poisoned it minutes ago. He turned to face Eddie, pulling him into his chest and rocking them side to side. “Shh. . . It’s okay, baby-boy. I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here. I’ve got you.”
“I’m sorry. I never wanted to make you mad at me, I swear. I just wanted to help! I’m sorry.” Eddies sobs began to die down, but his face remained buried in Richie’s chest. 
“You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m not mad, bebe. I promise I’m not mad.” Peppering kisses all over Eddie’s head, Richie tightened his embrace. “You did nothing wrong, I’m the one who should apologize. I shouldn’t have said what I said. I’m sorry, I just…It’s just hard sometimes.” 
Moving his arms from Richie’s midsection and wrapping them around his long pale neck, Eddie nestled his face into it’s nook. “I can understand that. I just want you to know that I care. I’m always going care and worry about you. I love you so much, Ricardo Alonzo Tozier! You never have to feel afraid or ashamed to tell me anything. I will always stand by you.”
  Richie pulled Eddie away from him and looked into his eyes tenderly. “I love you too Edward Kaspbrak, so fucking much! I’m not going anywhere, you hear me? I will always stand by you, too!” Eddie’s lips spread into a smile, before leaning in to kiss the taller man.“Your nose is freezing! Let’s go home before you catch pneumonia.”
“Ha! Ha! You’re an idiot, but yeah. I’d really like that.” Just like that, it seemed everything reverted back to normal between them. 
“You know what I’d really like, Eddie Spaghetti?” Oh yeah, Richie had definitely gone back to his normal self. 
“Don’t even THINK we’re gonna have sexy-fun-time, tonight. I am so tired and you definitely need to shower before you get anywhere near my bed.” Eddie foreboded, as they continued their journey home with Richie’s arm draped over his shoulder.
  “Eds, have you learned nothing today? I ALWAYS get my way.” he smirked.
“No, you do not!” Eddie looked up at him with narrow eyes and furrowed brows.
“I got you to kiss me tonight out on the sidewalk. It wasn’t underneath a mistletoe but it still counts as PDA!” Just then, Richie leaned in and stole another kiss from his boyfriend.
“That doesn’t count!” Eddie argued.
“Oh fuck yeah it does! Accept defeat and let me ravage you, Juliet!” Before Eddie could attempt to squirm away, Richie wrapped his arms around his hips and lifted him above him. Tickling Eddie tummy with his nose, Richie began to spin them around, playfully.
Eddie grabbed on to his shoulders in an attempt to stabilize himself as he giggled wildly. “Okay! OKAY! OKAAY!!”
“Does that mean yes sexy-fun-time?!” Richie’s eyebrows wiggled suggestively as he gently returned Eddie onto the pavement.
“Hm, we’ll see,” was all Eddie said as he continued his walk home, leaving Richie behind him.
“Oh, Eds, mi amor! You and I both know what that means.”
Eddie giggled in the distance. 
  Taglist: @bitchardtozier @bloggingandstruggling @11stayradstaybad11 @breakmyreddieheart @reddieformeerkat @purejaeden @julietissue @greywatertozier
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dustinbi · 7 years
Text
Puppy love
Ships: Stenbrough
Warnings: PTSD, OCD panic attack, and brief mention of death
Words:1,482
Notes: Hopefully you guys like it because I spent 2 weeks on this
One night in late April during their junior year after a date at a breakfast diner that stays open until 10pm. Stan’s hand brushed against bills. They had been dating for almost a month now and Stan could say it was one of the best things that has ever happened to him. Bill had asked him during a study session for the upcoming SATs.
“I asked Mrs. Baker if I could go over the limited amount of words for our micro fictions that are only 500 words. Like how am I supposed to show characters, ha-v-ve a plot, and do-o a plot twist in 500 words. But she sa-a-id no-o-o a-n-n-nd I-I ho-o-oly sh-hh,” Bill almost yelled out the last words because with each crumpled and broken word he got angrier and angrier.
“I know big bill, it’s perfectly fine. How about we talk about our next date?” Stan asked politely. He had known about how Bill’s stutter made him feel since their second sleepover. But as they got older their sleepovers got darker with them sharing their insecurities and the shared trauma from that one fated summer.
“Well we are walking towards my house but yours is a little further so I’ll juh-huh-st walk you the-e-ere and we are go-o-ing to the park and see if that im-m-port-t-ant bird is th-h-here,” Bill had known he would live with this stutter but he had been going to speech therapy lately to fix that. Besides the therapist had told him when he got angry or stressed it got worse so he should stay away from those type of situations. So good bird watching was the go to when one of them was stressed. The speech therapy even if it was still in school and during his free period it was one of the only good things his parents have done for him since Georgie died.
“Do you feel that? I think it’s sprinkling,” Stan knew he would be a little stressed but since he took his pills in the afternoon today he would fair better with his OCD but still it’s was nice for his friends to accommodate. But still thinking how of the rain would put little mismatched little damp spots on his freshly washed jeans made him want to pull at his hair which he hasn’t done in months but still if it got bad he would have to startup the regular visits with his doctor again.
“It’s not too bad it’s just drizzling,” Bill said doing a dopey smile at completing the sentence without stuttering.
But right as he said that it started to pour. It was almost comical at how fast and how much rain came down after those words had left his lips. But it wasn’t funny how they were only in jeans a t shirt and light jacket but only a cardigan for Stan’s case. Bill grabbed Stan’s hand and put his jacket around his shoulders. Even though it had been a month Stan couldn’t get over how perfect his boyfriend was
“I’ll ra-ace you to my hou-use” Bill said using his trademark smile that made everyone swoon after that made him a heartthrob to everyone.(Well mostly Stan). and they ran to Bill’s house laughing and holding hands so it wasn’t much of a race. The lighting and thunder were almost as loud as Stan’s heart from how fast it was beating. It was mostly from the running but he could say part of it was from how beautiful Bill looked even when he looked soaked to the core from the rain. How his t shirt now hung loosely from him and how it was stretching with the weight of the water. And how his golden red hair was sticking to his face and how his checks were red and it made his few freckles that he still had from his childhood pop. And it didn’t help that Stan could see some of his muscles from the see thoroughness of the shirt. Oh god teenage hormones were making his head turn to mush.
Once Bill had opened up his house he could get a good look at Stan. Stan wasn’t on any hardcore muscle building sports that didn’t mean it didn’t exist but it was mostly in his legs. His hair was started to curl up from the rain washing out most of the gel but still some of it stuck to his face and framed it making it more defined with his cheekbones. And Stan seemed so perfect in that moment Bill couldn’t help but kiss him and Stan’s tan skin had seemed to flush at the wonderful loving kiss.
“Do you want to call your parents while I throw your clothes in the wash and take a shower?” Bill asked knowing that Stan’s somewhat bliss would end when he realized exactly what kind of state he was in.
“Thanks Bill,” Stan said after a bit striping down somewhat so most of his clothes would be dry by tomorrow.
——-
Stan stepped out of the steaming shower. Don’t look in the mirror she’ll be there. After the day in sewers Stan couldn’t bring himself to look into mirrors or she’ll be there standing behind him her teeth poking out and her hands almost around his neck. Stop thinking about it or you’ll start to scratch. And IT will win. My face hurts. It hurts so much. The warmth of my blood is the only thing warm in that disgusting place. The damp sewers, the razor sharp teeth, those bright lights, and the coldness of them leaving me. Leaving me, they’re not your friends they don’t care, they left you, they aren’t you-
A knock from outside of the door wakes Stan up from his memories.
“My parents aren’t going to be be home until thursday so it doesn’t matter if you stay,”
“Thank you for letting me borrow your clothes,” Stan says with a blush.
“I’ll be waiting downstairs,”
“Okay,”
The sound of Bill’s footsteps down the stairs relax Stan to look at his legs that were scratched raw but not bleeding. Still a win.
As Stan puts on one of Bill’s clean shirts he walks down the stairs knowing the Denbrough house almost as well as his own from the sleepovers.
“So I got the ghostbusters, Batman, and alien,”
“Batman cause the others would be pissed if we watched ghostbusters without them,”
They had fallen asleep a little after the credits limbs tangled and all.
——-
“FuCK wE ARE SO LATE,” Stan yelled once he check the time on the stove.
“What time is it,” BIll asked still startled by the sudden noise stan had made.
“10:54,”
“SHIT WE ARE SO LATE WE WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET THEM 20 MINUTES AGO,” Bill yelled back they both rushed to get ready, brushing their teeth, combing their hair, and getting on their shoes. They hopped in the car not really noticing that Stan was still wearing Bill’s clothes.
——-
“HOLY SHIT IS STAN THE MAN URIS WEARING BIG BILLS CLOTHES,” Richie screeched in poor Bens ears. And now most of the rest of the customers in the breakfast diner stared at them in disdain from the sudden outburst but seemingly used to it.
“Didja use protection and stay safe,” Ben said with a mothering hen tone but with an undertone of enthusiasm hoping that now the sexual tension would be resolved. And he wouldn’t have to listen to Bill’s 4000 poem ideas to see if they were good enough for Stan. (They were all wonderful but very inconclusive)
“At least now I’m not the only virgin in the losers club,” Richie cackled like a maniac like he did with everyone of his jokes.
“We all know that’s a lie Tozier if anything you’re the only virgin in the losers club” Bev replied as quick as she always did and high fiving Eddie.
“Can we please stop talking about our sex lives now,” Stan said as they slid in their usually spots at the table almost red as tomato but Bill looked almost as fiery bevs hair.
“Yeah guys lay off and besides they would tell us themselves and tell us that they did in fact use protection,” Mike said smiling at Bill and Stan knowing how embarrassing it was because they all had the exact same conversation about him a week ago.
“Okay so are we going to order our food or are we all going to sound like idiots in front of my future boss,” Eddie said knowing that he would be starting to work in this diner with Richie in a week.
“Fine,” they all replied back.
They chattered most of the hours away from the breakfast diner, movie theater, and finally to the Tozier household but almost for every minute of the day Stan and Bill tightly held hands and gave each other quick kisses.
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