#and ppl will hopefully understand i say what i do out of place of caring

[woolydemon]

helping my friends with art is a tricky thing bc when i am always tempted to push really hard and not skimp out on critique (out of genuine care for my frandz), but i resist bc unless its asked for i rlly shouldnt assume thats what ppl want. so i gotta act in casual mode not my super dedicated to art mode

[blue-jisungs]

heyy, how are you doing? hope life's treating you well during the last days of the year 🤚😔

I wanted to request smth but I'm not sure if I should send it here bc I didn't see a link? anyways. I was wondering how would wonwoo or scoups deal with a s/o that hasn't dated nor kissed before and therefore is scared of the commitment and all the pressure that comes with catching feelings? maybe I have a friend who's insecure about that, iykwim

thank you for taking the time<3

firsts (and hopefully, not lasts)

author’s note. hi dear anonnie!! i’m doing good, thank u for asking <3 i hope life was treating you tenderly too!! :D

++ thank u mother @l3visbby for proofreading<33

summary. having a conversation about your worries with wonwoo, who’s understanding and caring

also this turned so self indulgent like 😭😭😭 i relate to all the bitchless single ppl out there fr fr … so worry not, i getchu…. i mean, your friend >_<

word count. ~1,5k

sometimes you wondered how did that happen. that meaning you and wonwoo dating. him, a talented and handsome idol with lots of charisma, good traits and fans. you, being a simple human with an ordinary life.

it was even quite… boring. nothing really happened in your life. highschool, then college. working and studying, an endless cycle. you were never the one to party – or get invited to parties. sure, you got along with your classmates and co-workers (or even their friends!) but you couldn’t help but feel envious when in their early 20s they already had dated, partied and had the fun of their lives.

you met wonwoo while on a vacation on jeju. for something that felt like ages, you decided to take a trip. alone. just with yourself.

while having a lonely stroll around the neighborhood, you stopped to pet a cat. it had a collar, it certainly wasn’t stray - and surely, loved belly rubs. so while you were petting the feline, wonwoo noticed you. heart warming upon seeing the simplicity and beauty of human nature, he stared for a while longer and went back to the place he stayed at.

he passed you a couple of times – on a beach, when you were secretly petting the cat, when you were riding a rented bicycle with wind blowing your hair.

you were cute and wonwoo decided that ‘screw it’ and approached you once you were reading a book under a byeonggeul tree. and the rest was history.

you’ve been dating for almost three months. yet… you haven’t kissed. wonwoo understood that, how could he not? he respected your boundaries and told you to take your time. he didn’t know the reason – that you haven’t kissed anyone, that he was the first guy you held hands with, that he was your first everything. and in moments like these, when the realization hit you like a wave crushing on rocks by the shore, you were terrified. how come you’re 27 and still a loser? bitchless loser, as many of the younger people would say. sure, wonu never made fun of you (simply because you never talked about it or mentioned it to him) but your friends, that knew you for a long time now… you felt it in your bones that they’re making fun of you.

“hey, is everything okay?” your boyfriend’s (gosh, that sounds so beautifully strange. you never thought the possibility of having a boyfriend is something that was actually possible for you) tender voice reached your ears. tearing your dozed-off eyes away from a random spot in the wall, you nodded with a shy smile.

wonwoo sat next to you, placing his warm hand over yours.

“come on, i can see something is bothering you. you’ve zoned out” he snickered and you just send him a smile “you do that a lot lately, you know? is something bothering you?”

‘you. you are the reason of my bothers’ you thought, sighing.

“well…” you started and already knew it was a mistake. wonwoo cocked an eyebrow.

“so there is something” he hummed, satisfied “you know i won’t judge, hm?”

he knew exactly what you were thinking. one would think it’s kind of creepy. actually, you found it adorable. he knew you so well, almost as if you knew each other since childhood.

“i know but… it’s silly” you mumbled and your eyes met his warm, ebony irises. wonwoo fixed his glasses with a swift flick and shook his head. you opened your mouth to say something.

communication is key, they say. you should probably tell him what’s on your mind, right?

you just sighed.

“how do you… bear with me? we… we haven’t kissed and–”

“i hate to interrupt but i’ve told you this. i don’t mind. you being comfortable it’s the most important thing to me and i would hate to lose your trust” he said, a bit sternly but you knew it was pure care speaking through him.

“i know but… i haven’t kissed, wonwoo. like, never. and actually, i’m scared. because this is my first relationship. my parents and friends have this pressure on me… and it’s so draining. ‘you didn’t even kiss yet?’, ‘when are you going to introduce him to us?’, ‘does he take you on dates?’, ‘do you live together?’, ‘are you really committed?’... ‘are you sure you like him?’... and how… how would i know? i’m scared” you burst out suddenly, words leaving your lips like water erupting from a waterfall. you see his eyes widen in shock, lips parting.

“scared of what?” wonwoo asked, blinking slowly “me…?”

“no. yes. i mean, no!” you laugh and see a wave of relief wash over him. then he frowns, so you explain “i’m scared of what you’ll think or… or where we will be in the future. i’m scared to do some things with you but also… kind of excited? i’m scared of committing but i’m also frightened of not committing! like, with all respect, how will i know i love you? do you just wake up one day and know it’s love? i’m scared i’ll get hurt or even worse, hurt you. i don’t know what to do…” your voice died in your throat.

great, you overshared. now he’ll think you’re actually insane.

you could see wonwoo was baffled. you sat in silence for five minutes, his thumb drawing circles on your hand in a soothing manner.

“that’s… a lot to process” nonu let out a small laugh and you smiled.

“i know, sorry. it’s just been on my mind lately” you mumbled. wonwoo brings his leg to the couch, then puts his other hand and grabs both of yours. looking you in the eye with seriousness, you tense a bit. uh oh.

“to be honest, baby…” your boyfriend starts (and the nickname still makes your stomach swirl with butterflies - even though you always thought it would make you cringe. surprisingly, coming from wonwoo’s lips, it doesn't) “it’s hard to answer all of these. i really like you and i truly hope our relationship will last. but human heart is really unpredictable. we don’t know what the future will bring and we can only do our best and hope, it’ll only be positive things”

you nod. you’d like that – wonwoo was a person you could never get tired of.

“i didn’t know i’m your first boyfriend. and… i feel very touched that you trust me enough to share it with me and be with me. if you’re scared that kissing or something will overwhelm you… i’ll do my best to guide you into everything you want. and if you don’t, i’ll understand that” he said and you suddenly feel like crying. your friends always say that men are shit. wonwoo must be a real angel, then.

“i can’t really tell you how you’ll know you love me. everyone realizes in their own time, their own way. i don’t think… i don’t think i’ve ever experienced romantic love, to be honest” the words left his lips and you stared at him in shock “we’re not so different, dear”

you melted, feeling your lower lip start to quiver.

“and… thank you for sharing your worries with me. i’m really proud, you know? you were scared of others’ opinion, what i will think… of your own emotions. and it's normal. it’s understandable, especially in your first relationship. but i’m here for you, okay?” he cooed, his lips forming into a gentle smile.

“you’re not… angry?” you asked quietly. his face morphed into confusion.

“no, why would i be?” he asked, genuinely puzzled.

“well, it kind of sounded like i wanted to break up. which, i don’t of course. but um… you know… a girl tells you she’s scared… i dunno…” you rambled and blew air into your cheeks.

“i’m not, of course i’m not. in fact, i’m happy. i know now how you feel, i know what’s been troubling you. and i just want you to know that… with time, it’ll become natural for you. i mean, i’d hope so” he grinned “also, for the record, i won’t judge your kisses. of course i wouldn’t but… if that makes you more comfortable, then–”

“but be honest, do you even want to kiss me?” you huffed. he giggled, shaking his head.

“duh! what kind of a boyfriend would i be if i didn’t want to kiss my gorgeous partner?” wonwoo asked a - obviously rhetorical - question, squeezing your hand gently. “i do. i really do. but as i said…”

you loosened your hand from his tender hold and smacked his arm jokingly. he looked at you disoriented but with an amused smile.

“take my time… blah, blah, blah. okay. i will, you know it” you said and sent him a serious look “but promise me… if i ever do something wrong, you tell me. right away. like… ‘y/n you’re being a bad partner!’”

wonwoo scoffed and seeing your serious look, he nodded.

“i will. i swear on my love for chan” he said and placed his hand on his heart with a proud smirk.

“awww- wait, what?” you laughed and wonwoo followed along, the comforting sound of your laughters merging together in a beautiful melody.

and you have a strange feeling in your heart. you’re not sure what is it but you’re certain that it’s its way of saying ‘you’re safe with him’.

masterlist <3

taglist. @mirxzii ,, @primoppang ,, @l3visbby ,, @nicholasluvbot ,, @planetkiimchi ,, @weird-bookworm ,, @slytherinshua ,, @kazmura ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @dazzlingligth

[kralierror404]

SIT DOWN CHAT. ITS RANT TIME.

What do you mean Alex started making his actual film when he was aroud 20 and then at age 27-28 he fucking dies. I cant. He was so young and it ruins me man, i gotta rant about my fave.

Alex seemed so determined and happy about making this movie, it had auditions, a trailer, a few recorded takes that never released, his “best” friend literally got cast as the main character for it!! - bro was so excited for ppl to audition for his project (you can hear it in his voice when hes talking to Brian abt asking Tim to try out). Alex also literally declined going to dinner so he could work on things for Marble Hornets. He had such a nice like friendgroup too Brian, Tim, Jay.

Like Alex pre-operator was probably the sweetest guy imo, he was proud of the people working with and for him, he cared about them (he says hes very proud of Jay and also asks Tim abt his like coughing), he was also quite patient i believe.

Then yk shit hits the fan over the 3 months Marble Hornets is being shot and he changes so so much its so insane - he gets paranoid and irritable and his passion isnt all there anymore :C which probably was really upsetting, and maybe caused some internal confusion and conflicting feelings in himself of: “Why cant i just be normal!?” meaning he’s kinda at war with himself. Also not to mention he was going through the operators effects alone at the time so its not like he could just bring it up without sounding crazy, he probably felt so alone and that no one would understand.

As we know he moves away, probably to hopefully escape whatever was happening to him and to put things behind him, to start over in a new place, where its safe and thats with Amy!. Now ive brought this up before but idc- he says on the phone to her

“Im gonna come visit you soon okay?”

“Okay.”

“And while im up there we might actually film a few things for Marble Hornets”

“Good i could use the company.”

“Actually uh..ive been thinking, i might try to transfer there after im done shooting all this.”

(That to me is Alex already planning to stop shooting it, already making plans to move with Amy but hes still unsure if he’ll be putting her in danger)

“For real?”

“Yeah, i mean the film program is better the one im at now so..i mean well thats what ive heard at least”

“Also i just dont like being this far away from you.”

(He says that so ominously but hes definitely like sure of himself and obviously Amy sees nothing wrong with it, she’s probably just happy that her boyfriend is going to come see her for the first time in..however long. Alex probably thinks he can keep her safe too)

MY POINT WITH THAT PHONE CALL ISS: His solution of escape was to 1. Burn the tapes and 2. Go to Amy to be safe but also to make sure SHES okay

Literally he thought that the operator and him murdering Brian would magically go away if he just left the area to be with someone who loved him, it was probably also his way of ignoring those things which all in all was a HORRIBLE coping mechanism (yk ignoring it) but heyy its Alex, he is not healthy. So, for 4 whole years he lives with Amy, away from everything and then WHOOPS Mr pale tall and skinny is there again to fuck up his day.

I honestly dont even wanna go in depth about how Alex mustve felt, how bad it must have hurt for his past to come back on him and find him somewhere he was meant to be okay. Also the way he probably killed Amy, did he make her feel secure then did it as she died in his arms? did she fight him? Amy does seem confrontational in a way- then he had to leave her behind, start anew AGAIN.

Except this time, he finds Jay has gotten himself involved and there is Alexs new goal, his new task that continues to drive him throughout the series that absolutely turns him into more of a horrible person: STOP THE SPREAD OF THE SICKNESS AND ‘SAVE’ EVERYONEE…except for that one guy he just killed while he was going insane.

One person i doubt he was trying to save eventually, was Brian, given that apparently Brian has been killed multiple times, instead Brian became like a pest getting in his way which makes sense. SO OVER THE COURSE OF 3-4 years, all this shit his happening and it gets to the point where Alex admits he thought HE was the problem (which in a way, he is), he shifts that blame onto Tim, then the big fight happens where they’re ultimately trying to kill eachother.

Alex is dying but as he is, he seems sorta sad, he fully believes he was doing the right thing and now, the only “right” thing to do, is die.

God its just his transition from making a silly student film and then 7 or 8 years later, dying due to an Eldritch being really messing up his and everyones life.

[zombiecowboy65]

saw someone on the other social say that if jeremy really cared about jean he wouldn’t be sleeping around and my feed refreshed before I could fight them but I need to get this off my chest with someone who will understand!!!!! pls help me explain that jeremy thinks so lowly of himself and so highly of jean that as much as he likes him he can’t even entertain the idea of anything happening between them bc he doesn’t feel worthy of him…. I’m gonna jump

I also saw a few posts on there being mad at Jeremy and tbh it all comes down to that savior character role they gave to him. He never really was, but he was vague enough about his own issues that it was easy enough to pretend he didn’t have any, and now that we know he’s a mess™️ everyone’s being forced to shift perspective.

The best start I can give to this is the line where Jeremy says that he’d been waiting to hear I love you from someone for so long, that when Cat said it to him first, he was upset. Now we know his fam sitch but we also know his only real established “lover” traded him for a car. And then that lover said he’d do it again, and Jeremy STILL comes to see him.

On top of that, there’s also the whole faser fiasco. That is prob the best example of him using sex as self harm considering we see him decline the offer, and then only accept once his past comes back up. Jeremy tells us he blames himself for what happened, and he tries to drown that pain/ punish himself thru sex. (He literally ignored the guy choking him out??)

I also don’t believe he believes anyone can truly love him for who he is. Examples for this are when he tells us his mom was right and he’s a “soft spined failure” , when he makes a rude comment and he’s upset that Jean might like the real him, and that line about the Trojans where he says “if he couldn’t be their anchor, what use was he?”.

Jean is loyal to a fault, and Jeremy knows that. He also kinda pushes aside the fact that Jean ran after Bryson for him (Laila too, but literally directly for Jeremy : “it is my place to assess and handle threats to you”) and instead says “thank you for defending her”.

Sorry this is getting long and hopefully this makes sense but also, Jeremy’s desires for Jean seem to be very physical only. Almost as if he can’t fathom the idea of Jean wanting him any other way. I truly think Jean being this loyal and his ability to love even the worst ppl (the ravens) scares Jeremy, and I don’t think he thinks he deserves something like that.

[gordonengineswifenirmal]

Nirmal….the babysitter?

I know, I know. Me too. But not for the reasons a lot of u might think.

Ok, so backstory- the housemate n her bf have hopefully broken up for the last time. She claims it pretty much is, but she tends to flip flop. He would argue n take things out on their kid by not doing his duties as a father. Wouldn’t pick the kid up from daycare, take her to her appointments, etc. She was in a bind. Because I AM a nice person I said fine I’ll take care of things, because it would help her out. Let’s get a few things straight.

I am NOT a particularly big fan of kids to say the least. I however, do not want them harmed unless they r trying to abuse me or cats/other animals. (For example: kids n teens who decide to b rude n harass u on a city bus when u need a disabled seat r vile products of immature children n need to b put on their place n learn respect.) i need the money. Ive hung out with her n the kid. The kid is ok. Shes kinda cute. I can tolerate her. I do NOT want to undress her n change her. I will ask the landlady if that’s needed, n then she can be involved. That’ll probably make her happy.

I understand that society needs to procreate. I do not generally like children I don’t know near me. I’m antinatslalist NOT in that children should never exist - that’s not realistic - but rather in that “if u r not mature n responsible enough, u dont belong bringing a person into the world until n unless u can b properly mature n responsible.” Unfortunately, most parents are not mature or responsible enough, even when they want ppl to think they are. THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT I WANT EVERY CHILD DEAD.

Ok? Ok. Also, I have NO inappropriate feelings towards a child of ANY age. Baby, toddler, teen, whatever in between. Never have. I liked OLDER men. I’m not even into them anymore. I’m not into ANY fellow human being or animal of any age SEXUALLY.

I will probably watch Thomas when I’m up in the roommates room, BUT I CAN AND WILL be appropriate around the kid. I DO know the difference. The poor kid had her parents fecking n watching salacious stuff on mtv n whatnot with her around before, so this should b an improvement. (Stop laughing lol I mean it!)

Hell I look at Thomas all the time in the tube, n I don’t openly share what I’m thinking with other passenger, nor do I do anything inappropriate. I sit and smile, and no one could care. In fact, ppl put their kids next to me, much to me chagrin. I grin n bear it, or I move.

So yeah. This is not the ideal job, but it’s something. It’ll help the roommate out, hopefully auntie Nirmal will b a better influence around her than the father was. The father pays child support to his ex wife n his 5 kids. The housemate says she’s not doing that. She’ll just seek full custody. She will send a cab for me back n forth. I can leave the door open, maybe the cats will come up. He also apparently raped or attempted to rape his own sister, something the roommate was aware of from early in their relationship. He was polite, but neither of them are exactly mature.

I will not expose the child to inappropriate things, I will not beat the child or be nasty. I will challenge meself, because if I would have had me own child, I’d have been a staff sergeant. This child is 2, n I only have to keep her safe for a couple hours. I don’t have to b her mother. I chose to not be a mother because of me temper, finances, physical pain, n because it would ruin me own mental n physical health. Several drs warned me against it, n I said yep no prob.

I’m not a mother type. If a baby cries, vomits, or shits itself, I cringe. I back off, running like hell far away. If a kid gives me attitude, I WILL put them in their place.

However, I have learned that not all fellow adults - be they older than me or around me own age ARE mature. N not ALL minors are snivelling little sacks of pus. I know some who are actually decent individuals. I do not wish to do anything inappropriate to or with them (which I cannot stress enough btw), but it’s nice to be able to treat them as contemporaries. I was always talked down to n not treated that way. It’s hard for me to relate to a lot of things n I can communicate very well in some ways, but due to intense trauma in 4+ decades of being on this earth, sometimes communication in situations - especially with other people - is a challenge. I’m not perfect. I’m willing to be open minded when appropriate.

I am a mentor type, but I don’t have natural mothering instincts. However, this will teach me to be a bit more tolerant of kids, just as being in Thomas fandom has. Has that gone perfectly? No. But I keep an open mind. I’m trying. I have learned that not ALL kids r bad, n I don’t hate ALL of them. I have no I appropriate feelings for them, but I have come to respect some minors as siblings or family. I will never be like ok now I want a kid or even want them around me all the time, but maybe I’ll fight some of the negative feelings I have about kids n find some less cringe. I dunnae.

Sooooo we’ll see how this goes. I won’t be as thrilled as Thomas learns to be at the end of that episode, but I’ll learn to be more tolerant. I’m willing to try.

So yeah. Wish me luck. This will be interesting.

[artificial-absinthe]

Crazy, how you ask for understanding and end up being slightly vilified by the entitled ppl who are too lazy to litteraly tag a post...

Btw great point with ooc tag. I'd also love it. I'm just scared of rebloging your post as it seems whenever you want personalization, you may be seen as queer fobic and the worst evil, while it's just a preference to see the canon. Like litteraly ppl don't get that if they'd start making Megatron in green colours just because they like it, the ooc tag would be nice too.

But of course it's a gender thing so ppl will get offended... and I'm saying this, being in favour of your post, and being fuken queer... It's just sad, cause it's always going to the "oh consider xyz because we feel offended" while the op requesting this may be the nicest ally or queer themselves. But because their bubble is touched, they can't understand that they pierce your bubble as well, in the end turning into the conservative thinking of "I'd not tag my post, cause my idea is more important, or it makes me happy, so fuck you I'm free citizen, and allowed to do what I want"... and then they try to say, they are the opened, inclusive ones... while their thinking is litteraly the same as those, they oppose. It's just funny to me... how ppl just can't take a simple, kind request... they need to go balistic on both sides over it, as I'm also disapointed with those who just ran to harras the person... they are also guilty of asshole type of thinking... It's just sad how even in seemingly progressive place, there are still so many "conservative thinking" assholes...

Eh sorry for the long ramble. Just wanted to tell you, that you're not alone with this thinking. Just wanted to let u know, even that I know you'd say you don't care if someone agrees or not. But still, thank u for this post. Maybe it will change something for the better despite countless idiots who can't take a request like a civilised human beings...

No need to apologize at all. You absolutely understand it all and make very accurate and relevant points, and I totally agree with you.

I didn't even knew that this was still going. I figured some people had, though begrudgingly, accepted to use a tag, and some others would flood the Megatron tag with their occ content without a tag to filter out of spite (exactly with the mindset that you described), because people speaking ill of me doesn't even come to tell me directly, perhaps because they know I genuinely won't be affected by their hate and misplaced adjectives, and so I only know of this when someone else tells me.

On the other hand, while I do not crave for understanding, it's very nice that the people who agree with me voice it, because this request and pointing out is not only for me, but also for everyone else who is tired of the OCC thing flooding the content about a character.

Indeed, you are not the only one who has said this to me, and even before I made that request I had held conversations about how people was tired of it, but also feared voicing it because they, like yourself, were wary about getting the "queerfobic" hate. Which is no more than a shield that people abuse of whenever someone disagrees with their headcanons or anything else. That way they make themselves to be "on the right" and rally sympathizers to share their grudge with and attack the ones disagreeing with them. Which is a very unbecoming thing to do, and I wish they just acknowledged the reasons for what they are. (In this case, not everyone likes mischaracterization/Occ content. Period)

Thus, I decided to be the one to voice it, but it would be good that all the anons and people agreeing with me in private would do it publicly, without being haters themselves as some had been (which was counterproductive, actually), because that way it could be taken seriously and only for what it is... Perhaps... hopefully.

Of course I'm not saying that I don't appreciate that you say it also like this, since I understand that not everyone can be as cold as myself.

[nonranghaes]

your sweet svt drabbles are such an inspiration to me. I've been getting into writing fics slowly by writing just short ones off a single scenario, and i have too many prompts and ideas coming from my head (which is great !) that i already had laid out but i just couldn't find thee tempo to start. Soo I'm trying to get more inspo by reading around tumblr and to my luck i landed here! i found your writing style an exemplar to how i wanted to write (bonus if you'd like to give some writing tips? 🥹). Your drabbles looked effortlessly written, they're simple yet so expressive and visually evocative. Reading them makes me feel like it's easy to just get the idea off my head and picture it in words OK I'LL STOP HASJB it's literally midnight o clock (when the strong urge to give one of my prompts a shot kicks in)

aaaaaAAA AND IF I START CRYIN????

honestly i dont rly know if i have any solid writing tips haha i like reading a lot since it can teach me a lot abt what i like in writing and what i dislike!! + reading helps u pick up on how other ppl describe things and how their writing flow. idk if that makes sense though. like... book i just finished (a death in tokyo) is very to the point and practical with its writing. it was written in a way that i could clearly envision a lot of things and my mind would fill in the holes since its set in a real world setting. other stuff i read might take care in describing things in more detail, but reading higashino's work kinda made me understand further how just plainly stating things can have its own power and paint a picture just as well--just depends on what you're writing and what kind of vibe it should have, yknow?

like. i wouldn't expect a thriller to have the same writing flow as a romance novel, but the gritty details can still have importance depending on what the topic is. little things like that. genuinely, imo, the best writers are those who read a lot and my advice is rly just to kinda read everything u feel safe w reading!!!

also i think ive said this a lot on wooahaes but ive also been writing since i was like. 11. if not younger lol so ive had a looooootta time to practice and refine and get to where i am now and i'll still be improving into the future hopefully!!!

other than that... hmm...

i'll admit this one isn't something everyone can do (and obvs no shame to ppl who can't!) but i always try to envision the space i'm writing and the people within it.

i think for me personally, i care a lot about the physicality of whoever i'm writing? if they're nervous, are they acting shifty? are they wringing their hands? is this a situation they want to get out of, or are they nervous because they're kinda excited for what's to come? how are they vocally, too? are they the kind of person who rambles when they're nervous, or do they get really quiet? is it obvious, or will it seem normal if they're quiet/chatty?

like... with the mark lee drabble where he's nervously dragging out the question of "what if we kissed?" it was kinda important to me to just kinda have him dragging it out because once he says it, there's no way to take it back, and once he says it, the nerves take over in a "and now i must ramble, lets talk about anything but what i just said, so the aquarium-" where even though we don't SEE mark, we still can tell he's a nervous wreck over it all. its little things like that that just kinda stick out to me?

mmm but for my drabbles specifically... i think i kinda function off the fact that i'm not writing an actual fic here? if i wanted to write something longer, i'd put it on wooahaes (and sometimes i do! i've had a couple fics now i was gonna just post as a drabble but then they kinda ran away from me). i've deleted parts of drabbles before because i felt like they were getting too irrelevant. the point of a drabble, to me personally, is to just kinda give somewhat a quick snapshot of a moment. i think my stuff usually takes place in a single place as far i can remember, because changing scenes makes it feel like a bigger thing (barring stuff where there was a short flashback).

i think it can help to have an idea of what you want to capture if you're writing a short drabble. reader/seungkwan caring for one another, minho teasing reader over the cats, reader trying to get one over on joshua (ft seungkwan). occasionally the more fantasy-ish stuff is like "merfolk reader in love w jisung" and "merfolk reader saving minho" or "android!shua being saved from the facility by reader" comes to me, too. i just kinda write purely by vibes and what i wanna write. idk if this helps but i usually do try to have some idea of what exactly i wanna do!! the times i have opened a post and closed it again bc i had nothing..................................... yeah

(obvs no shame in those moments ksdhfds i just always end up sitting there like. what was i doing again.)

ummm idk what else to say!! i can always try to give advice on other stuff if u ever have specific questions but this is all ive got rn <3 good luck!!!!! i believe in u!!!!!!!!

[duncebento]

hi about the low empathy question! So I don't know how qualified I am to talk abt it because afaik I'm not autistic specifically and I always gathered the impression it was an autism thing. but my empathy IS very low and it feels a lot like being completely unable to relate to people. If something bad happens to someone or they're in a bad mood I'm perfectly capable of understanding that they aren't in a mood to interact/would like u to accommodate them by giving a hug or an ear to listen to (and because empathy =/= kindness/compassion/sympathy it's something I'm happy to do) but I'm completely unable to like... naturally process what they're saying and help them in a way that suits the situation by relating my own experiences (thus pointing out they're not alone/HOPEFULLY comforting them) if that makes sense? Like, it almost feels like all my interpersonal communication doesn't come from a place of emotions but like an npc in a video game responding to a character's actions in a "scripted" way, sometimes literally where I have written out lists of possible things to say.

So I think the best way to describe it is a disconnected feeling, but it's also something I don't exactly feel distressed about either. I work retail and do a lot of customer service thru that, and it helps that retail work kinda thrives through your scripts. I don't know if that helped or not, but it's the best way I could describe.

(It is a barrier in making friends though. I have a set of friends in the sense that they're coworkers I really like or classmates that I talk to often, but I really only have 2 or 3 non-sibling ppl in my life that I'd really consider FRIENDS whom I truly care about deeply and trust with my own problems. It just comes with the "hard to talk and #relate to people" territory I think, especially because people can be myopic and not consciously think about how other ppl view others differently than themselves.)

Sorry if this is long and rambly, I tried to get my thoughts across thoroughly but it may just be nonsensical. double-sorry if so

[strattonxpressions]

Welton Czhang

1. Name, Year, Major, and Hometown

Welton Czhang, 3rd Year, Animal Science, San Gabriel

2. What is your earliest childhood memory? 

the earliest childhood memory i have is when i was 3 years old and my mom sat my older brother brandan and i to take a photo with her digital camera. she would keep a photo album of pictures (consisting only of my older brother haha) but i remember she wanted me in the photo and kept trying to get my attention to look into the camera !! i was playing with this small cute baby bracelet so i was distracted, but eventually i did look directly at the lens. most of the times i don’t know where to look at in a photo, but i very clearly remember looking directly back into the big camera staring back at me. i smiled too!! proof of that is captured in the photo that she printed out and hung on the closet doorr. it’s a very cute picture and i cherish it sm bc ion hav much other baby photos of me

3. What’s stopping you?

myself. as much as ion like to admit it, i am not always at my best or immune to everything that happens to me. i can bat an eye at sumn n dismiss it, but the issue will still remain. and that is something unavoidable. its always a problem i cant disclose to other ppl bc it is an internal struggle that i deal wit and only i will understand. this is why i feel closed off sometimes when it comes to telling other ppl what is currently upsetting me, bc it genuinely is not sumn that the words of another could fix. some days are harder than others, n its hard for me to get up and change the thing bothering me jus bc i already deal wit a lot and i am at a total loss when i cant immediately fix a problem in minutes. some days, i jus wan to bask and feel the weight of it all. but i sit back up eventually and take care of it. i never rlly stop the hustle for too long

4. What is something about yourself that you’re proud of?

im not rlly proud of anything, but i am fond of the fact that one can accomplish anything that they set their minds to. i would say i am very hardworking so that any task can jus be a task set as the current objective or for the near future, and make my way through a lot of hoops and bounds to get to the final destination before planning towards another goal. thinking like this makes everything seem doable, no matter the difficulty

5. If you could have any one question answered truthfully, what would it be?

does the world revolve around me? i feel like im reading a film reel. life moves like im flipping through the pages of a book. it all comes together, yet so slowly. as if the words are falling in place and writing themselves. i think i hav already died and i am experiencing the looongest flashback possible rn as i relive everything, or maybe i hav been put into a memory of mine as i reconstruct and arrange the storyline where i live an outcome not yet explored. im doing things differently this time around 😌

6. Who is your celebrity/fictional crush? 

im not like this 😭😭 ion crush on ppl.. SAD but the ppl will not hear from me ab how freaky i amm !!

7. How would you spend your ideal birthday? 

oh em gee. how would i?? well of course wit the ppl i lov so all my friends, and also cats (hopefully they are mine, or pets my friends bring over !!) i wan to take sm cute pics of not jus me but wit everyone and i wan everyone to feel like they had the best time ever and not bc they are celebrating the special occasion ! we either cook food tgt or eat out for all meals of the day and go well into the night laughing, exchanging stories, and enjoying the one day of the year where all my friends are in one place. the ideal is surrounded by everyone who ive ever gotten the chance to kno and care for, n even if i jus hav that n only that is okay 😌😌

8. What food that starts with the first letter of your name would you only eat for the rest of your life?

OKAY. so i definitely got nerfed wit this questionn n maybe you’re expecting me to say watermelons but ACT i will say waffles, bc they are >>> yummier than pancakes, hav fun grids on em, and taste yummy n are super cool and awesome. so yeah waffles, i lov waffles YURR

9. What’s one niche interest you have that you must share with the world?

freak. so basically i lov how every show, movie, book EVER has an expansive compelling story created by authors or producers with i m a g i n a t i o n so that everything can be enjoyed by any one audience. im not going to nerd out on any series specifically, but my niche interest is learning ab diff series by consuming the material itself, or hearing ab it from other ppl so i can talk to them ab their interests :) i like hearing what ppl hav to say ab things they like ! one takeaway i always wan to carry wit me n the world to kno ab me is being someone knowledgeable on any sort of topic so that i can hav conversations wit anyone who happens to be discussing fictional or nonfictional works. i’ll be like oh! are you guys talking ab ragtime, one of the precursors to the origin of jazz 😃😃 what made you start listening to buddy bolden ?? things like that

10. What is a memory with your closest friend and how does it exemplify your friendship together and how you value friendship as a whole (250 words minimum)

im going to preface this question by saying that i dont necessarily hav one singular closest friend,, i am not picky like that ! friends unfortunately come and go, and this one is no different. but he was a close friend of mine during my upbringing :) when i think of a memory wit my closest friend, i am brought back to middle school wit my good friend sandson. never did i share sm laughter wit anyone else other than sandson. we often spent our time tgt playing sports at lunch, and if we shared classes tgt, best believe we were the two silly goofballs laughing up a storm. we were always snickering in class and getting called out by our teachers. glares from other students would be extraordinarily common, and more often than not we would get into trouble for bothering each other or other kids. he was basically that one guy friend all dudes hav that is a bad influence but makes your life 10x funnier 💀💀 ahhh so this is relatable to all my friendships today as i believe all my friends n i share sm laughter tgt ! i would go so far as to say that it is a defining feature of my friendships- always being accompanied by good company and dotish hysterics. my friends n i will always be able to find sumn to laugh ab, create our own inside jokes, n i could not hav the friends i hav today if not for the laughter. i see friendship in myself and within everybody in this light, there is never a dull moment if we keep on fanning the flame we hav wit incessant jokes

[my-traumacore-sideblog]

hey so feel free 2 let me know if this is not helpful and i can 100% delete this reblog if u want me 2 i just wanted 2 tell u smth, i've been following ur blog 4 a while and idk mayb it's silly but as some1 who's also lived in a high control environment family b4 and made it out the other side i wanted 2 tell u that it is 100% okay 2 get tf outta there when u need 2, ik w me i had a lot of guilt abt it at 1st that was keeping me there longer than it should, i even had other ppl who didn't even know my situation saying shit like "but they r ur parents they r doing their best" even tho that was not at all applicable 2 my situation

taking advantage of lovebombing is probably a good idea especially if u r able 2 get out of there soon, that way u can hav a better start when u do leave since u won't need 2 worry as much abt buying decent clothes ect

4 me personally what helped is making plans w/out them knowing so they couldn't interfere, ik it's gonna b the last thing u wanna do rn but if u can muster it try 2 build up a support network, if u can't face it tho that's understandable just focus on what u can do so u don't get overwhelmed, learn 2 budget it a way that works 4 u, w me i use 1 of those budgeting apps so i don't hav 2 think abt it as much and the app can keep track of it 4 me, try 2 house hunt in a way that won't get u in trouble or put u in more danger, the excuse i used was saying it was 4 college and the college i want 2 go 2 doesn't provide accommodations 4 students staying over there, idk if that would work 4 ur situation but i figured i'd type all this out just in case any of this is helpful during this difficult time, try not 2 make the mistake i did tho of letting them go 2 the house viewing w u or letting them know ur new address (i was still a lil brain washed at the time tbh), now w me i didn't hav 2 worry abt getting a job bc im on disability benefit and i get paid enough 4 it 2 b livable, i still need 2 b careful and budget but it's workable, but idk what ur financial situation is so if u need 2 try 2 job hunt i would recommend doing that b4 ur out on ur own, even if ur not in a situation where u can get a job until ur out just knowing who's hiring could b good 4 saving on time and making sure u hav a better chance at financial security

most importantly tho, i wanted 2 tell u that while this is going 2 b hard and it is going 2 b painful 4 me at least leaving was the best decision i ever made and i don't regret it even if some days i still feel guilty abt it, i know that this is the right thing 4 me and while it's been hard 2 adjust 2 living on my own when i wasn't given knowledge on basic skills i feel so much more free and so much happier than i ever did before, im still unpacking things of course even years later but it's starting 2 get easier and im slowly learning 2 b kind 2 myself i rly genuinely and sincerely hope that 1 day ur in a better place where u can start ur healing journey 2, im sorry ur not there just yet tho, i hope this was at least somewhat helpful, if nothing else 4 knowing that it can b okay, hopefully some of the tips help? completely understandable if that's not helpful rn tho and again im more than willing 2 delete this reblog if that's what u need, i get it, i've had ppl derail posts that were deeply personal 2 me and it sucks, ig i just wanted 2 give u some tips that might help and some hope that it'll b okay as some1 who's come out the other side, i hope u find ur happiness, whatever that looks like 4 u

mfw i take advantage of the fact my dad is in lovebomb mode to get 2 new t-shirts (all mine are grody). i would have tried for a new pair of shoes if i could find any i liked in my size. small wide feet L

also trying to convince him to get taco bell instead of chilis. i think it worked.

he is so going to hold today against me in the future. could be tomorrow. could be a month from now. but guess what dad you cant buy affection. helping your disabled young adult child met his basic needs is, in fact, the bare minimum.

[kimbap-r0ll]

Hi! I love your headcanons! Would you write one about the troupe's reaction when y/n who is also a spider reveals that she's pregnant ? (With chrollo's maybe 😳😳😳) Thank you so much!

Thank you for the ask! Just in the future, know that things like pregnancy are topics I am a little bit awkward in, so if this turns out really bad plz understand :’)

Phantom Troupe finds out y/n is pregnant

I feel this can be answered more or less as a group rather than each one individually, so I’ll be sticking to that (they are a team afterall!)

They'll all be working together to help you before and after the pregnancy. They're basically family.

So there’s two ways this can go, one more realistic (imo) than the other

Option 1 (something I view as less realistic but wholesome)

To start, the first route is that they will have reactions that are a mix of happy and surprised. But all of them are thinking of the same thing; CHROLLO’S A DAD WHAT THE F-

Nobunaga and Uvo are definitely going to be calling themselves the cool uncles while Franklin’s trying to calm them down

They'll tease the hell out of Chrollo for being a dad, calling him old and stuff

Machi and Pakunoda are similar in their reactions; they’re here for you. If you need anything, they’re the ppl to go to since they honestly have the calmest way of approaching things

Machi might be tempted to sew baby clothing and other toys, but she'll never admit it

Chrollo is just there while the news breaks out smiling. He's thinking like "😊"

Hisoka’s basically nonexistent in the troupe so he finds out about this much much  later. He might drop by and say he wants to see how strong the child ends up

Feitan won’t say anything, but he might mumble a small “cool” to you before going to do his errands. He's one of the biggest worrywarts for you but won't admit it either.

Bonolenov is also a calm figure you can rely on. He’s good at music so he’s more or less of a therapist

If you ever feel stressed or sick because of your pregnancy expect at least half of them to say they want to help. You have cravings? There's a whole cart of it at wherever the troupe is hiding out. You feel sick? They'll even kidnap the best doctor if they have to.

Phinks slapped you on the back as a congrats before getting hit by Nobunaga and Machi to be careful around you

Shalnark and Shizuku are already asking about names you’re thinking of for the child. They're one of the younger members of the troupe and are just curious how it's going for you.

They all vow they want to protect whoever the child is and hopefully raise them right! Besides, they’ve seen how kids in Meteor City are abandoned, so they want to be there for the kid

Option 2 (kinda angsty?)

The other reaction they would have, one I have an easier time believing, is confusion and fear or what will happen next. Hell they might even be upset

They likely don’t want a kid around, even if they have Kortopi he’s enough for the troupe to take care of

Not to mention their line of work and their origins in a place so dangerous make them less approving of having children

So when the news broke out that you were pregnant, and not just pregnant but with Chrollo’s child, they feel a mix of emotions

On one hand, they’re happy for you (if you wanted to have a child that is) but on the other hand, now they have to ask themselves if this is the route they want to take

Chrollo's their boss so they have respect for him and you, so nothing mean or ill-willed will be thrown at you. But just know that if you are in the troupe, it's likely that being pregnant would be a major weakness to the group in terms of their feats in stealing and other crimes

I feel like Chrollo would also have the same feeling, like he would most prefer not having a child due to his work, but at the same time he always wondered what it would be like to have a child or at least a family of some kind other than the group he created

You might end up being dropped off in Meteor City or somewhere else by the troupe to take care of your child, with the rest of the spiders visiting you periodically. Overall, it’s hard for you and the troupe if there’s a child coming. They want the best for the kid, but with how much blood is stained on their hands, it's hard to think what kind of a child they might end up raising as a group.

[cl00udyyanan]

If your still accepting requests of these,

How would a relationship be with Venti and Wanderer (separate) with a Pisces reader?

Feel free to ignore this!!

this will be fun i already know it, im sorry but you picked the worst two characters to try and be in a relatonship but! WE WILL MAKE IT WORK!!!!

pisces and gemini

okaayyy venti! he is a little gemini, whihc means he values freedom (i see what you did hoyo) he is very independant physically and emotionally. this can contrast a pisces who is known to be very dependant especially when inlove. in your eyes, venti is so special to you (post him everyday, with him everyday, basically just so obsessed), he's so important to you! your relationship is centered around adapting and giving the other something they lack. venti can bring fun and knowledge to your ideas and way of life, wherest you are an open minded lover who can bring the most out of him. (maybe try to convince him to stop his drinking problem)

butt, you guys have horrible communication. say venti was gone for some time (he follows the wind ofc) and you're upset about it! he'll simply shrug you off with a "ehe sorry lol" and go on about his day. it may give you the impression he don't care, but he does he just doesn't understand how it may affect you. he might not understand that his in a relationship, not some friendship where you guys kiss every now and then lol.

in the end, you guys are better off as friends, venti is just too all over the place for you and you might be too sensitive to give into it. if you can work on communication and understanding, it might work out

compatibilty: uhh 40 i don't have too high hopes for it tbh, but you'd make great friends!

pisces and capricorn

onto scara! at first, your relationship would start slow. capricorns and pisces are known to very quiet people unless around ppl they're comfortable with (this may or may not apply to you who knows). you two would learn eachother slowly, which i think is pretty cute. you're first attracted to the strong and confident side of scara, the way he carries himself. scara will like how you treat him so differently from others, you might be softer to him. so you're lucky you're one of the people who doesn't get insulted by him every day. you two have mutual trust thats sweet and cute tbh. pisces are said to be adaptable, which is good for scara because he's very stuck in his ways, hopefully you're able to keep up with him. scaramouche teaches you to have more self esteem and be more confident, you teach him to be a little more softer. its honestly so adorable.

as every relationship, there is a bad side. pisces are known to be emotional, if this applies to you, you and scara are going to be in a bit of trouble because he does not handle emotions well. (proof: archon quest, proof: mommy issues, proof: abandonment issues.....) he's not going to be able to express himself all the time. you two gotta work on that a bit. oh, also, he's really controlling which might make you a bit worried in the relationship but he doesn't mean it in a bad way he's just concerned. once again, you two can work on that and it'll be okay

in the end, you two could have a nice relationship really! probably scaras best option. its a sweet tender love for both people who just needed a couple hugs yk (ik you do). you two need to work on those issues with the controlling and emotions. yet honestly, you can overcome those i believe it!

compatibility: 77

[eventually--darling]

How do you make gifs? Care to share your process? o3o

oooh yes i can!!! i tried not to get too detailed with it since im interpreting this as just asking for my process rather than an actual tutorial sudhf.

the general tools i use are photoshop (i pay $10 a month T_T), vlc media player, and one of my various video downloading sites. i don't torrent or anything bc that scares me and i dont understand it. plus, since i almost exclusively gif kdramas the video uploads are generally in pretty decent quality and dont get scrubbed from the web the way western shows do.

so once i have the video downloaded i open it with vlc media player. I use a really inefficient method to extract frames but it works well enough that i don't really care to change it. plus i cant really figure out another way? they say that certain video programs can capture frames for you but none of the ones ive tried seem to have that feature. there's also supposedly another method to do it in vlc media player but it's never worked for me. anyway.

so to extract frames in vlc i find the moment i want to capture and then use the "e" hotkey to skip to the next frame and click the little screenshot button to capture it.

i do this over and over at lightning speed until I get all the frames i want. yes this does often lead to accidentally skipping frames (which can make the gif a little choppy) so sometimes i redo it, but sometimes i don't bother.

after i've captured the frames, i copy them from my pictures folder (not entirely sure why they end up there but im not going to mess with the pathway) to a specific folder ive created for that gif or gifset.

then I'll go through and make sure there are no duplicate or missing frames. after that, i edit them down to about 70 frames per gif, then select them all and rename them so that they're in numbered order (photoshop loads them out of order if i don't).

I do 70 frames mostly bc my sharpening action on photoshop doesnt go past 70 frames and i haven't bothered to fix it lol. also it's comfortable length for a gif so there's not much reason to. you can usually get away with about 40-50 frames tho before it feels too short.

ok nowww i open photoshop and things get good.

first thing i do is load the files into a stack.

i have a bunch of settings in place to make life easier so i already have my sharpening action created (which sharpens all the frames for me rather than having to do it manually. gift from God), and my timeline visible. so now i just play my sharpening action

then load the frames into an animation and reverse them so they dont play backwards.

then i set the frame delay to 0.05 seconds. it's interesting bc gifs played at normal speed look kinda weird. so having it slowed down a little is ideal. not too much though or it looks choppy.

now i crop the gif. i dont have to do this here but generally i do. just helps me focus without the distraction of the tv bars on the top and bottom and just. All the other stuff going on in the background.

nowwww i color. usually start with a color adjustment curve layer. when you use the little eyedrop tool this can really deepen the image and bring it to life. you dont realize how dull tv looks until you gif lol.

that gives me the base tones i want and deepens the image.

sometimes i brighten the gif with the curves layer, but in this case adding a separate brightening layer worked better.

then i'll export the gif with tumblr dimensions and upload it into a draft.

if it is still too dark or the colors look off, i'll just mess more with the layers. in this case, i only needed the two, but a lot of gifs will need a few different adjustment layers like vibrance or selective color to look right.

And that's kinda it!

colored:

uncolored:

hopefully it makes sense lol. Like I said, im not thinking of this as a tutorial or anything but i still want ppl to know what im talking about uhsfusd

[bouncyalex]

I see you’re from Canada. Hopefully that helps with some of the medical expenses.

Is there anything we can do to help if we don’t have any money? Like any organizations we can donate old clothes to? Or anything like that.

Yes, I am in Canada. It’s a good thing for having access to the universal healthcare. But ambulance and meds aren’t covered.

You are bringing a very interesting question here. There are many local organizations that takes donations for clothes, and food banks. Some are local organizations, some are national. They will put in priority kids and families, which makes some sense, but that means they are not going to help me.

In my case, I am ok for food, clothes, home and basics. Where I can cut is on quality of diapers that I need, cut some meds that will not kill me when I will stop them, reduce to the minimum my physical therapies, put a cross on everything that will cost money (fun, movies, Christmas, birthdays, dentist, optometrist, everything not essential at all.).

My stock of diapers is getting low, so, diaper donations can be an option eventually. I am working on finding ways to get some financial help from government, local donation centers, my city, any hidden disability programs that could exist, bank loan, family and relatives, also my special ed therapists. It seems like there is no way to maintain my physical therapies without paying them from my pocket. It’s literally a crack in our system. If I was still under 18, there would have been no problem at all to get help through many organizations and government, and universal healthcare system itself. I sold what I could, I have mid term to long term solutions brewing, but no short term ones. I need to fill the upcoming gap that will happen this fall until mid term solution take place.

If anyone have any good ideas, or might know any association who helps disabled adults in distress like I am, please don’t hesitate to post it here, or PM me. In worst case, I feel totally ridiculous to say that, but I believe it’s true that if a lot of my friends and followers could give one dollar, at the end, that will make a big difference for me! I will never forget ppls who already helped me! It takes critical situations to understand what this is all about. And the day my friends will need help, I’ll be there to help the best I can. In fact, I have helped my friends and my parents and family a lot when they needed it and for many years already!

Everytime I went to pick up my father at the hospital for heart attack, surgeries, any followups he needs to be accompanied, He always tells me he will pay my gas and parking. I never accepted any money from him, because for the number of times he and mom were there to get me in and out of hospital and specialists, I believe it’s my turn to take care of them and not worry about money.

I even bought a cheap car and rented an apartment where one of my friend in psychological distress would rather die than getting rid of his 2 dogs because he couldn’t find any places that were accepting his 2 dogs. He never paid me back, and I am very proud he is now happy, much better, and he helped moving 2 times.

I have helped another abdl moving from his shitty apartment into a much better place, and I did not charge anything. What matters is well-being of my friends, and he needed a bit of help to fill the gap btw the time he gets his 1st pay check and the deposit fee at his new apartment. It reminds me he didn’t refund me, and I wasn’t upset because he did work and be able to pay his bills. He doesn’t talk to me anymore, but I see him online here still, and I guess that’s fine if he doesn’t want to talk to me. I am glad I could have helped him the best I could, even if my own budget was not that great at that time.

Everyone is shitting bricks with that pandemic, and inflation. Well, not everyone, but a lot of us are struggling. I am asking money myself, while I donated 2$ to CHU Ste-Justine children hospital earlier this week, because my 2$ times thousands of people thinking the same way will definitely help them more than me, an adult with autism, and several health issues, who is still alive today, thinking that these kids need help even more than I do.

All that said, I am pro active right now, and I am still helping others when it’s possible. I deal with every challenge God is sending me. Sometimes it’s hard, sometimes it’s frustrating, but I have hope that even ppls who follow me with no interest of getting to know me or talk to me can understand my situation, and am very open to intelligent alternatives to money if they are willing to help. But please, no disrespectful or stupid idea like that guy who wanted me to prostitute myself to get an easy 20 bucks from him because he wanted something in return.😑 Really? Sharing thousands of pictures and videos for free wasn’t already enough? He made me upset, I was sad, and I had to block this guy who started to be harassing me. I don’t deserve this, nobody does, and especially when it’s a serious situation here for me. I am more than just a random dude in diapers! I am a great hearted person with multiple talents and narrowed interests who is always here to listen to everyone, and answer the best I can and help .

I had no idea I was going to write such a long answer here! For those reading this until the end, 🙏 Thank you! Thank you, and… THANK YOU! 🥹

[moririki]

↷ 📦 ↶ MORI'S 100 FOLLOWERS EVENT!

heya!!! so recently i've hit the milestone of 100 followers, and i'd just like to say thank you so much! i'm so honoured that i've reached this so quick and i'm glad that you guys like the stuff i write :))

so uh. i have decided to celebrate it! with a prompt list. hopefully this doesn't flop (if it does let's just pretend i never posted this lmao) and yeah that's about it. there's a few rules n stuff, but other than that happy requesting! and once again, thank you guys so much i love you all <33333

UPDATE: tHank you so much to the ppl who requested!!! i had so much fun with this event and i'll be sure to do more in the future!

(THIS EVENT IS NOW CLOSED)

⊱┊RULES!

i. i intend to have a deadline for the event (though nothing's set in stone) so try to send a request before july 23rd if you want to participate in the event! please note that this prompt list can still be used after the event finishes, though requests will not be prioritised

ii. unfortunately, current series (kiss list) and outstanding requests will have to be put on hold, as the event will take priority

iii. the regular rules for the content that i write still apply to this event, and i will only write for characters that are found on my masterlist however, my understanding of the characters that i write for are of varying levels so i can't guarantee that everything i write will be of the same quality

iv. regular requests are still open while the event takes place if you want to stick to a more traditional format however, these will not be prioritised by me and will most likely not be written until i finish the requests from this event

v. you can request as many times as you want with as many characters as you want drabbles & preferences are welcome! please keep this character x reader, though

vi. if you want your request to be a specific genre (smut, angst, fluff etc) please make that clear when you request

vii. nsfw content is permitted in this event, so take care if you do not wish to see it and let me know in your request if you are against it being used as a smut prompt all nsfw content will be tagged as such, and will have a read more tag

viii. when making a requests, just send me a number and a character then i will do my thing >:) to make things easier for me please do fill out these criteria, and any other details that you may want included

⊱┊PROMPTS!

"i won't let you do this alone"

"let me bandage you up"

"come here, i'll carry you"

"is something wrong?"

"stay with me"

"hold me. please"

"you're the first person i think about when i wake up"

"i would go anywhere with you"

"no one has ever made me feel like this"

"i missed you... a lot"

"come back soon"

"i'll never forget you"

"you're overworking yourself... please take a break"

"i didn't make you uncomfortable, did i?"

"what happened to you?!"

"i'm sorry"

"i love waking up next to you"

"we can look out for each other"

"you don't have to pay me back"

"can i give you a hug? you look upset"

"i'm yours"

"how much did you drink?"

"i asked if you were having a party. i didn't tell you to have a party"

"this is the opposite of what i told you to do"

"how did you get in here?"

"you owe me a kiss"

"that's not even fair"

"why don't you take a picture? it'll last longer"

"detention? again?"

"why don't you just go?"

"it doesn't matter any more"

"don't lie to me"

"why do you keep bringing it up?"

"maybe in another world"

"i can't do anything right"

"nobody's seen you in days"

"why are you awake?"

"i told you not to fall in love with me"

"is there a reason you're blushing like that?"

"i think you might be my soulmate"

"sleep over? please?"

"are we on a date right now?"

"quit touching me, your feet are cold!"

"could you please.... oh, i don't know, maybe put a shirt on?"

"aren't we supposed to be working?"

"i'm telling you, i'm haunted"

"what do you mean they're my new partner? they tried to kill me last week!"

"i could punch you right now"

"i'll feel much better if you let me walk you home"

"apparently, all of our friends have a bet going that we'll end up together"

"i don't know how to exist in a world without you"

"i don't know who you are any more"

"we're not just friends and you fucking know it!"

"seeing you between my legs is so hot"

"the noises you make are incredible"

"bite your lips once more, i dare you"

"god i love your hands" "let's put them to good use, then"

"i know you can be louder than that"

"never trust a man whose smile steals the breath from your lungs"

"sorry, is that supposed to impress me?"

⊱┊THIS EVENT'S WORKS!

pushing the limits - tsukishima kei

a bloodstained confession - rengoku kyojuro

a moment of vulnerability - miyuki kazuya

beautiful boy - kawakami norifumi

more than you'd bargain for - denji

a devil, then a man - denji

a giver - denji

beyond words - inumaki toge

finish what you started - miyuki kazuya

observant, as always - miyuki kazuya

take a look at the menu - ,, 📦 ·˚ ༘ ꒱

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, Se3, ep 12 (Part 1)

The aftermath of the curse lifting~ Btw, the timeline is super messy. Flashbacks & background stories aren’t this anime’s best tool, it’s always felt messy when they attempt that. more on it in my side notes below. Now into the ep~

-Yuki & Machi: ( Blossoming Love!):

I love that the author attempted different direction of romantic love with yuki/machi that suits yuki’s personality! Opposite to kyo/tohru who had the (from best friends to lovers/ from roommates of 3 years to lovers). Yuki & machi’s love is based on natural crush & while she isnt his best friend, she’ll be his lover & they’ll know each other after dating. Both types of love are realistic & have their own path of dynamics, which is clear with how yuki/machi will be interacting & how kyo/tohru are now interacting since becoming official. I’m still bummed most of yuki/machi’s “noticing each other” is supposed to be off-screen, it robbed me of seeing yuki interact in a normal teenage-boy crushing on a girl which contrasts his relationship with kakeru, kyo, haru & tohru. Now, we’ll start the “ official-boyfriend yuki” stage! Also, this jump to confessions didnt help machi have any uniqueness beside being saved by yuki’s words from her trauma. watching her interact with him normally would’ve added realistic depth to her being a normal girl with unique cute quirks differently from tohru, Isuzu, kagura or even motoko!. Oh well~ moving on & focusing on the meaningful cute confession. I loved that altho there were a hug & a kiss, it didn’t have “ I love you” statement. You know they (will) love each other so dearly, but they’re in stage 1 now, she just called him by his first name for the first time! cute! I love that the emphasis is on the “ first name” calling since this is a huge key to yuki’s identity & struggle. Also, It is cute she bought a gift to tohru! This is a set-up to a healthy relationship with yuki since she isn’t jealous from a precious woman in his life that isnt related by blood.

-Moving towards the future: Kyoru’s final stage of growth!

By Kyokoy’s grave Kyo & tohru had key moment of growth & healthy closure to their core character issues::

1- Kyo’s toxic habit of running from life became a desire to run towards life!: While this habit is rightfully excused by his trauma, it needed to be addressed once his curse broke. We know he stopped running & faced his dad, confessed to tohru, accepted her love, embraced his crazy desire for her & accepted he deserved to be loved! Even ran towards tohru, chasing her! However, all the above is him running to the good current life in his grasp. He needs to run to the far away future this time! Needs to plan for the good & accept that the bad is part of it. struggling is part of life & he’ll endure it together with her, while enjoying life’s rewards.

I love that kyo is the one who suggested moving out to another city/place, cuz kyo was the one NOT living. He was long dead & trapped in the cage of his guilt & self-loath. Tohru at least was living thro helping others ( which is not real living but at least it’s better). Kyo was “ Mom, why didn’t you kill me instead of yourself?” ,“ I’ll kill yuki & then kill myself, would that please you, dad?!”, “ I cant forgive me, I dont want you to forgive me, tohru”. Walking on a road of self-destruction & slow death. But now, with tohru he wants life!!! all of it!! travel, learn, see, struggle, fail, succeed, build their own future by themselves.

I love that kyo didnt take tohru’s approval for his plans for granted. He really didnt think she’ll accept right away. He didnt even want her to dedice quickly, He was prepared for compromising to a better solution for them both. They’ll work other possibilities “ if i’m gonna live in this world, I want to do it with you”.

I love that kyo was real abt the obstacles ahead & didnt want tohru to just follow him based on love. He wanted her to decide on her own as well. He also, left the door open for her to change her mind anytime & this screams support & understanding!! Very powerful!.

2- Thoru’s toxic habit of being ashamed to desire anything for herself, living for others & wearing a happy “i’m okay” mask while concealing her true feelings became confidence, self-clarity & honesty: The tohru who was smiling while concealing grief on the beach is gone, the tohru who kyo had to coax her to “complain, be selfish” se01,ep5, to “not hide worrying over a relative’s sickness” se02, ep14 “ cry if she needs to” se3, ep6, is now telling kyo her honest opinion abt his proposal, while thinking of her own self as much as him & even objecting to his sentiment abt her mom’s words!!!!

I love that tohru is now a confident free woman making her own decisions based on self-honesty & communication with her partner. She wasn't just “okay” with it cuz he wants it while putting fake smile, No more of that. Now, she’ll say her true feelings, she asked him abt his plans, tried to see if it is a spur of the moment decision or if he really thought abt it. She also inquired where’s heading, who he talked to, what he’s planning! She is deciding for herself after hearing him! ok, this is your plan? I like it. I’m going!  Very powerful!.

I love that like how kyo was realistic abt the plan having some difficulties due to starting away by themselves, she was also realistic that it is indeed sad to part with my friends, my hometown, & my mom’s resting-place, but i’ll choose ME now. “I” want to go with you for “me”. This is not a bind I’ll follow you wherever love story, this is realistic depiction of healthy relationship. Acknowledging hardships & accepting them saves you from being crushed by failure, you’ll endure it when it eventually happens & move on, cuz God knows we DO fail & succeed! Life isnt smooth sailing~ 

I love that tohru complemented him on his plan cuz she could see that is a sign of growth. If she’s gonna share her life with this man, it is delightful to see that he is thinking of a happier, healthier & realistic future! Cuz kyo was this destroyed man~ so destroyed he was pushing her away despite loving her dearly, now, he’s asking her opinion & permission to accompany him!

I love that tohru made sure to touch upon kyo’s last scar “ my mom doesnt hate you” This is a scar that wont go away even if kyo is mentally healthy. Cuz death is the ultimate truth. He can never hear kyoko’s affirming her love for him, he’ll have to trust in it based on their earlier interaction together. Tohru is powerfully & stubbornly taking away most of his pain by affirming her acknowledge of her mom. You might disagree kyo, you might still feel a bit guilty, it might haunt you sometimes. but me? NO. Never. Mom loved you. She meant ONLY good. Hopefully my determination heals you bit by bit, & it DOES. Kyo stands bravely, confidently & happily in front of kyoko’s grave & instead of saying “ i apologize for hurting you, or tohru, I’m sorry, forgive me”.  he tells her he’ll keep their promise & protect tohru for life! he literally proposed there in front of her mom & all. T_T

-Kyoko’s Words: ( Sometimes, you don’t get to know the whole truth & that’s okay):

Can’t describe how much I love this part. This is the most painful yet important lesson in furuba. Life isn’t a movie where the entire truth is exposed to the characters or the audience. Sometimes you live & die without getting to know an important truth, hearing a much needed confirmation, or getting a loved one’s forgiveness. There are things in our life that we just can’t get back no matter how much we tried. What we do, then? die? despair? throw away what we DO have in our hands for this lost truth no matter how important it was to us? No, we do the only thing we can. Live. Not just go thro life’s motion, but really live. Accept the good & the bad. This is so goddamn easy & difficult as hell too!

-Kyo not knowing kyoko’s words at that time was tragic. It was so tragic it sent kyo into a suicidal descent into the abyss. The wounds of his mom’s death that were slowly healing with kazuma’s care got re-opened & poured blood! The old destructive habits became full force, The toxic coping habits returned with its ugliness. I can’t kill myself literally? I’ll do it figuratively. trapped, caged, destroyed, eyes shut, ears closed, only seeing his pain. Kyo is us. All of us in any moment of true crushing despair. He could never bring the dead back, hear their loving words or ask forgiveness. Thro kyo, the author is telling us... I know. You had your moment of lost truth, didn’t you? I know. IT IS OKAY. live, my child. your pain is valid, let it take its course, but afterwards live bravely.

-Kyo’s path towards healing is: the ugliest cuz it hurt tohru of all ppl, the longest cuz he was the last one to move on, the bloodiest cuz he’ll never have the ppl he lost, the rockiest cuz he failed & failed, the most frustrating cuz he repeated his mistakes over & over, He couldnt even do it alone. needed intervention & support. He lost hope. completely. But it is okay even if you fell as deep as kyo: stand up. even if you never learned the truth: let go. even if you were the last one to learn or heal: it isn’t a race. Embrace life with its good & bad & continue as kyoko said “ you fought well”

-Kyoko’s parting plea to her daughter broke my heart into pieces. Death is ugly, but death is a truth that we can’t escape. The leaving ones is hurting as much as the ones left behind, but hopefully, the leaving ones will find a happiness a kin to the ones left behind. yuki’s "say a prayer & move one, one step at a time” is all you can do.

-Kyoko was: a gangster who hurt others (ugly path), repented, married & had a daughter (fulfilling path), widowed & left her daughter while grieving (ugly path), came back, repented & tried to raise tohru well, love her enough! (fulfilling path), died & left her young high school daughter all alone (heartbreaking path) but she accepted that the last path isn’t sth she can fight, prayed, & accepted her fate~

-Kyoko~~ “ you fought well”  while you were alive~ you really did! The Tohru you left behind helped a whole clan & hopefully readers as well! you tohru is loved by an entire generation of readers & anime watchers. Tohru is so precious & I can’t stop crying~

Side Notes:

Timeline is super messy & confusing. (a) Tohru’s hospital discharge, kyoru’s hug & curse break for everybody all happened at the (late) afternoon. While curse was breaking, akito was wearing her white kimono & she cried until tohru hugged her on sunset. (b) Before tohru’s hospital shigure’s face was scar-less. we first saw the scar in the afternoon & he was wearing his kimono.

Now the flashback, Akito wearing her outfit from her talk with the maid (which also happened while kyo was talking to his dad which is on the same day) & shigure wearing suit & it’s sunset time??????? How can the sunset happen before the curse break on the afternoon? She inflected the scars on the sunset, how did he have them on the afternoon of the same day?? both changed outfits which is even weirder??? Someone help me put things on order. Or is order not important? If the sequence of events isn’t important, then, why did it have to happen on the curse break day??? Shigure could’ve had his scars a day or two before tohru’s discharge.

Also the OP started in the middle of yuki’s scene which was so odd!

No big deal, but I still feel that yuki’s curse break would’ve been thematically powerful last ep. Especially after seeing The Zodiac Ruler come & collect the spirits. The legend would've been wrapped powerfully on the same ep where it was told. We see the zodiacs’ original story & we see its closure. It would’ve made tohru/akito’s hug more symbolic. An end of an era to akito & to them all. Real Goodbye to the zodiac animals, but now we had a goodbye & a half. lol.

Is yuki the only one seeing the cursed spirit? He looked down at it? I dont remember the others looking down where an animal would be? Is yuki’s curse special? different? He got all the ropes/bonds around him? I really thought yuki’s theme is all abt desiring to be normal & despising the “special” treatment that haunted him even in school. 

Momiji/ kagura /kyo interaction is cute!

Haru/Yuki/ Isuzu interaction is cute as well. XD

Kagura, girl, you used to have best fashion, what’s up with jeans under knee length dress?! lol.

I’ll be honest. It is a lost opportunity that machi weren't made to question how teen-tohru is yuki’s mom. That would’ve solidified her as a unique stand alone character if she were to discuss it with yuki. Tohru being yuki’s mom figure is not normal, otherwise yuki’s entire dilemma of figuring out his feelings for tohru would’ve become meaningless. Having machi quickly “understand” it is a bit weird. But it helps the plot move quickly, I guess. ( it reminds me of Arisa hugging akito when she confessed stabbing kureno without questioning anything, it is weird, but you get the message that “ we aint got time for that~ gotta hop on the next plot).

I love that furuba subverted the old anime-trope of the entire happy cast staying together in one city/place & living exactly like they did in their teens except being married now! XD. It is so realistic that each character is now moving on their path of life~

Tohru wore a ring in her foreshadowing vision! SHE WORE A RING! My baby girl is a grown woman now~ T_T. I love tohru so much!~

Shigure/ akito & the last banquet is in my review part 2. I’ve been editing out any thoughts abt Shigure from my previous posts. I needed to see the whole picture first. I think can now talk abt them, I’m looking forward to the comments of the next part cuz I really really need to see if I understood it or if i’m off.