#and people will continue to act like this is a total coincidence even though we can all fucking see it isn't

[jhkfan123]

enchanted - tom blyth | ch. 10

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

✦x.

you pulled tom into a quieter place outside. there was a decent amount of space between you two and the next person, besides, most people were inside the party already. it was a perfectly quiet place for the two of you to chat. the two of you maneuvered through different decorative pillars that were placed around, and found a secluded spot. you finally came to a stop and faced him. you took a breath. 

"alright, what's up?" he asked. what's up? what's up is that your a liar, is what you wanted to say.  there was no way he was totally clueless of what was going on. and, maybe he had even noticed your instagram, and the taken down posts. maybe he had noticed the outfit choice tonight.  maybe had had noticed your half-smile on the red carpet. 

maybe he had noticed how much you wanted him to kiss you that night. 

"ok, we need to talk." you repeated. 

"look, y/n-

"no, let me talk first." you interrupted him. you had so much to say, yet no idea what to say. "look, tom, i could handle you dating rachel, but you lying about it, i can't handle." you spewed. tom looked at you, confusion in his face. you wondered if he was going to continue to deny anything. 

"y/n, what do you mean." he asked, still questioning you. you looked at him. hadn't he known about how many people saw the posts of them last night? 

"tom. you simply cannot come up to me, and say that there's nothing going on between you and rachel, have rachel reaffirm that statement, and then have her get into your car, with your coat on, in the same night. you cannot treat me like that." you decided to completely open up to him. be completely honest with him, about your thoughts and feelings. he once again, looked puzzled. you couldn't help but roll your eyes. "don't act dumb about this." 

"ok, first of all she was co-" 

"guys, what are you doing over here? the party's amazing!" you heard rachels voice approaching. you both turned to her.  she walked up to both of you and placed her hand on your shoulder. she tried to reach tom's but the height difference made it difficult. eventually she gave up. you were agitated that she had interrupted your conversation, and you were very scared she was going to steal tom away, whisk him away to the party. 

"we're having a conversation." tom responded. you nodded at her. she seemed curious. you were not going to let her push herself into this conversation. 

"yea. we are. we will be in soon, though, ok? see you in there." you had hoped that had given her the impression that she was not part of this conversation. the subject of this conversation? yes. but not part of it. her smile dropped, and she just gave a solemn nod and began to walk away. you sighed deeply. you really needed this time with him. to talk with him. you glanced back at him, and found him already looking back at you. he couldn't stop looking down at the slit of your dress. it almost made you blush, you couldn't control your face, though.  you felt your cheeks get hot, and you couldn't do anything about it. 

but you had to focus back on the elephant in the room. you shook him off and became formal once more. 

"finish your response." you demanded. he focused in again. 

"oh, yeah. i would never lie to you, y/n.  i swear, she was just cold." you accidentally laughed. you saw his face become silently angry. he took a deep inhale. "and her driver had an emergency, and i was just being nice. i gave her a ride because she didn't have one." two perfect coincidences for the perfect photos. 

if she was cold, why would she have had the coat over her shoulders and not on her physically? you weren't sure if jealousy was coming up with these questions, or your mind. 

"tom. i'm just going to say it. why would you let that get public. you know how the media is in this industry. you had to have known that people would get photos of you. i mean, that is common knowledge in hollywood." he thought for a moment. 

"i, i don't know." he sighed. "i don't. but y/n, please believe me when i say that there is nothing going on between me and rachel." he pleaded. 

"tom. please don't lie"

"i'm not lyi-"

"it's ok if you like rachel. i mean, she's flawless-"

"what?" he said, a little louder, to stop the overlap.  you questioned him back. "say that again." he asked. so you repeated. he took a deep breath. 

"ok, first of all, she's not flawless." he responded. you rolled your eyes. he was dead serious.

"what do you mean-" 

"she isn't you." 

"what?" you felt like the world had gone silent, and still.

"she's not you. i mean," he laughed at himself. "if anyones flawless, it's you."  you froze. you couldn't move. what was he talking about? was he being serious? you silently begged him to continue on. "y/n. you are the most flawless person i've ever met. everything about you. your smile, god your smile. your laugh. your entire personality. everything. everything.  and, i know that these past couple of days, things have gotten insanely out of hand with the media, and rachel, and everything that could have gone wrong, has gone wrong, and i hate that. because you don't deserve any of that. and your right. quite honestly, from the moment i met you, i knew there was something special about you. and then, as time went on, i really fell head over heels for you. and i was scared to tell you because i had no idea how you'd react. and its just recently come to me that you might feel the same because i was blinded by the stress of filming, and press, and everything that followed. i began to reach out to you more, and then at the party, at my party, god." he continued to ramble on. "after what happened to you-" he chocked on his words slightly. "after what happened to you at the party, i didn't even know what to do. i had never felt that guilt before. so i shut myself out of your life for a while because i felt like it was my fault. and i don't know why, i shouldn't have. and then everything spiraled out of control with the rumors and- and i just didn't know what to do. but please, y/n, please, believe me when i say that i love you."  he finally allowed himself a long exhale. you were still processing for seconds after he ended. you couldn't get anything out of your mouth. anything except his name. 

"tom, i-" that was all you said. but it said enough. you looked up at him. it was mere seconds before he enveloped your lips in his. he crashed his lips into yours rather suddenly, but you went along with it. he kissed you like he was starving. starving for all those missed out moments. the kiss eventually brought you up against a pillar. you felt his arms slither around your waist. you kept kissing him, and just when you thought you were done, he would prove you wrong. 

up against the pillar, one of his arms moved off you waist and down to your upper leg. the slit in your dress made it easy for him to access your leg. his touch on your skin sent you in spirals. it was what you had been waiting for for so long. too long. eventually, he got up to your garter. wanting to fully take in the moment, you pushed his arm down slightly. he didn't seem to mind. 

finally, after a long time, he finally pulled away. he looked at you. took in all the features of your face. he pushed a lock of your hair behind your ear, and smiled at you. you quietly laughed. both of you seemed so happy. 

"i waited far to long to do that." he reprimanded himself. 

"i waited far to long for that." you responded. he laughed. "also. now that were, on good terms," he laughed again, "what did you say to me in the ballroom?" he thought for a moment, then realized what you were referring too. 

"oh. that. i, um." he hesitated. 

"what. what is it. say it." you pushed him. 

"i just said that, um, you looked amazing. always." now you really were blushing. you looked down, and he picked your head up by your chin, claiming he wanted to see your face. 

"i have a question for you too." he asked. you couldn't help but get nervous. you gestured for him to go ahead. 

"is this look another way to get back at me and rachel?" he asked. you glanced down at your dress, which was now slightly wrinkled. you noticed your pearls, and your accessories. 

"of course it was." you replied with confidence. he laughed. he also asked you about the instagram posts, to which you just replied, "i'm petty." 

"tom, how are you going to deal with this. you have the entire rachel and you thing, and, neither of you have shut it down yet. what are you going to do?" you couldn't really do much, it had to be tom. 

"i'm going to make an instagram story, or something. i'm going to say something. get rachel to say something too." he replied, quickly. you found a sense of comfort in that. 

"and what about, us." you asked. 

"we will deal with us tommorow. now come on, you don't want to miss out on the oscar's afterparty, do you?" he took your hand in his, and the two of you made your way inside. 

A/N: GUYS I PROMISE THIS ISN'T THE END BUT NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I TRY TO MAKE IT NOT SOULD LIKE AN END IT JUST DOESN'T WORK BUT I PROMISE I AM EXPECTING TO HAVE 2+ MORE CHAPTERS.

[dwellordream]

“...A lone woman could, if she spun in almost every spare minute of her day, on her own keep a small family clothed in minimum comfort (and we know they did that). Adding a second spinner – even if they were less efficient (like a young girl just learning the craft or an older woman who has lost some dexterity in her hands) could push the household further into the ‘comfort’ margin, and we have to imagine that most of that added textile production would be consumed by the family (because people like having nice clothes!).

At the same time, that rate of production is high enough that a household which found itself bereft of (male) farmers (for instance due to a draft or military mortality) might well be able to patch the temporary hole in the family finances by dropping its textile consumption down to that minimum and selling or trading away the excess, for which there seems to have always been demand. ...Consequently, the line between women spinning for their own household and women spinning for the market often must have been merely a function of the financial situation of the family and the balance of clothing requirements to spinners in the household unit (much the same way agricultural surplus functioned).

Moreover, spinning absolutely dominates production time (again, around 85% of all of the labor-time, a ratio that the spinning wheel and the horizontal loom together don’t really change). This is actually quite handy, in a way, as we’ll see, because spinning (at least with a distaff) could be a mobile activity; a spinner could carry their spindle and distaff with them and set up almost anywhere, making use of small scraps of time here or there.

On the flip side, the labor demands here are high enough prior to the advent of better spinning and weaving technology in the Late Middle Ages (read: the spinning wheel, which is the truly revolutionary labor-saving device here) that most women would be spinning functionally all of the time, a constant background activity begun and carried out whenever they weren’t required to be actively moving around in order to fulfill a very real subsistence need for clothing in climates that humans are not particularly well adapted to naturally. The work of the spinner was every bit as important for maintaining the household as the work of the farmer and frankly students of history ought to see the two jobs as necessary and equal mirrors of each other.

At the same time, just as all farmers were not free, so all spinners were not free. It is abundantly clear that among the many tasks assigned to enslaved women within ancient households. Xenophon lists training the enslaved women of the household in wool-working as one of the duties of a good wife (Xen. Oik. 7.41). ...Columella also emphasizes that the vilica ought to be continually rotating between the spinners, weavers, cooks, cowsheds, pens and sickrooms, making use of the mobility that the distaff offered while her enslaved husband was out in the fields supervising the agricultural labor (of course, as with the bit of Xenophon above, the same sort of behavior would have been expected of the free wife as mistress of her own household).

...Consequently spinning and weaving were tasks that might be shared between both relatively elite women and far poorer and even enslaved women, though we should be sure not to take this too far. Doubtless it was a rather more pleasant experience to be the wealthy woman supervising enslaved or hired hands working wool in a large household than it was to be one of those enslaved women, or the wife of a very poor farmer desperately spinning to keep the farm afloat and the family fed. The poor woman spinner – who spins because she lacks a male wage-earner to support her – is a fixture of late medieval and early modern European society and (as J.S. Lee’s wage data makes clear; spinners were not paid well) must have also had quite a rough time of things.

It is difficult to overstate the importance of household textile production in the shaping of pre-modern gender roles. It infiltrates our language even today; a matrilineal line in a family is sometimes called a ‘distaff line,’ the female half of a male-female gendered pair is sometimes the ‘distaff counterpart’ for the same reason. Women who do not marry are sometimes still called ‘spinsters’ on the assumption that an unmarried woman would have to support herself by spinning and selling yarn (I’m not endorsing these usages, merely noting they exist).

E.W. Barber (Women’s Work, 29-41) suggests that this division of labor, which holds across a wide variety of societies was a product of the demands of the one necessarily gendered task in pre-modern societies: child-rearing. Barber notes that tasks compatible with the demands of keeping track of small children are those which do not require total attention (at least when full proficiency is reached; spinning is not exactly an easy task, but a skilled spinner can very easily spin while watching someone else and talking to a third person), can easily be interrupted, is not dangerous, can be easily moved, but do not require travel far from home; as Barber is quick to note, producing textiles (and spinning in particular) fill all of these requirements perfectly and that “the only other occupation that fits the criteria even half so well is that of preparing the daily food” which of course was also a female-gendered activity in most ancient societies. Barber thus essentially argues that it was the close coincidence of the demands of textile-production and child-rearing which led to the dominant paradigm where this work was ‘women’s work’ as per her title.

(There is some irony that while the men of patriarchal societies of antiquity – which is to say effectively all of the societies of antiquity – tended to see the gendered division of labor as a consequence of male superiority, it is in fact male incapability, particularly the male inability to nurse an infant, which structured the gendered division of labor in pre-modern societies, until the steady march of technology rendered the division itself obsolete. Also, and Barber points this out, citing Judith Brown, we should see this is a question about ability rather than reliance, just as some men did spin, weave and sew (again, often in a commercial capacity), so too did some women farm, gather or hunt. It is only the very rare and quite stupid person who will starve or freeze merely to adhere to gender roles and even then gender roles were often much more plastic in practice than stereotypes make them seem.)

Spinning became a central motif in many societies for ideal womanhood. Of course one foot of the fundament of Greek literature stands on the Odyssey, where Penelope’s defining act of arete is the clever weaving and unweaving of a burial shroud to deceive the suitors, but examples do not stop there. Lucretia, one of the key figures in the Roman legends concerning the foundation of the Republic, is marked out as outstanding among women because, when a group of aristocrats sneak home to try to settle a bet over who has the best wife, she is patiently spinning late into the night (with the enslaved women of her house working around her; often they get translated as ‘maids’ in a bit of bowdlerization. Any time you see ‘maids’ in the translation of a Greek or Roman text referring to household workers, it is usually quite safe to assume they are enslaved women) while the other women are out drinking (Liv. 1.57). This display of virtue causes the prince Sextus Tarquinius to form designs on Lucretia (which, being virtuous, she refuses), setting in motion the chain of crime and vengeance which will overthrow Rome’s monarchy. The purpose of Lucretia’s wool-working in the story is to establish her supreme virtue as the perfect aristocratic wife.

...For myself, I find that students can fairly readily understand the centrality of farming in everyday life in the pre-modern world, but are slower to grasp spinning and weaving (often tacitly assuming that women were effectively idle, or generically ‘homemaking’ in ways that precluded production). And students cannot be faulted for this – they generally aren’t confronted with this reality in classes or in popular culture. ...Even more than farming or blacksmithing, this is an economic and household activity that is rendered invisible in the popular imagination of the past, even as (as you can see from the artwork in this post) it was a dominant visual motif for representing the work of women for centuries.”

- Bret Devereaux, “Clothing, How Did They Make It? Part III: Spin Me Right Round…”

[gurugirl]

The Queen's Secret Chapter 7*

Summary: Harry tries to move on from the Queen when she pushes him away. His broken heart manifests as coldness and anger toward her and Queen Y/n gets some disappointing news and regrets treating Prince Harry like a stranger.

Warning: Smut (sad sex), angst, longing, broken hearts, this is generally a sad chapter

The Queen’s Secret Masterlist

Chapter 6*

Chapter 7*

The Queen was at lunch with Rory when she’d gotten another text from Harry. She hadn’t responded to him since the day before. She needed to try and distance herself a little. She didn’t want to. She longed to be with him but he had Gertrude and his children and the Queen had her community, her title and responsibilities. And daydreaming about running away with him to another place so they could be free to be together was silly and a waste of mind space. It couldn’t happen. She was getting too attached.

After their little get-together in the library loft they met again under the guise of a charity outing they’d had planned. It was far too risky and people had seen them together but they were feeling desperate to meet up, even if it was only for a few minutes. They both “happened” to be at the market fair and “bumped” into one another at the Manon Charity tent. No one seemed to be surprised that the Queen and the Prince were speaking or standing next to one another. It hadn’t been a strange thing to see. It wasn’t like they were making out against the folding tables or anything like that.

No, their meeting was quick and they didn’t get to have their time away, alone, like they’d hoped. Harry and Y/n stood close and whispered about going to another location. Harry softly brushed his knuckles over Y/n’s as they spoke and she could smell his cologne and see the small bit of stubble over his chin and jaw, and the mole next to his mouth that she’d kissed a dozen times. His lips were especially pink, a kissable raspberry shade. And the Queen’s neck was uncovered, her scarf only hiding part of her skin, and Harry wanted to press his warm lips on the exposed flesh as he spoke quietly into her ear.

They were interrupted by a friend of Gertrude’s who chatted Harry up and asked the Queen about the end of the year ball. Both Harry and Y/n were kind to the woman but now both were concerned that she’d report back to Gertrude that the pair were together. Though, nothing could be proven, it would have been total coincidence to any outsider. Too many “coincidences” would point to an infidelity, though. So, the Queen excused herself and Harry told Gertrude’s friend to wait a moment as he rushed off after the Queen, “Where are you going? I thought…”

Y/n put a hand up, “We can’t. This is too risky. She’s sure to tell Gertrude that we were together here. I’m sorry, Harry.”

Harry shook his head and grabbed the Queen’s wrist, “Please. I’ll meet you later then. Where we said we’d…” and his words were cut short when another person interrupted them. The Prince and the Queen were popular figures in the kingdom. It wasn’t uncommon for someone to come up to either for a question or just to chat. But this had been too much for Y/n and Harry was acting a little too familiar by running after her and brushing over her knuckles in public. It’s not that the Queen didn’t enjoy it, oh she most certainly did and she was even blushing from the tiniest bit of contact, but it was dangerous and he was acting too carelessly.

And so when Y/n bid her farewell and retreated again, the Prince made no effort to not watch on with an expression of confusion and hurt on his face as she walked away all the while, the person who’d interrupted continued speaking. When the Queen turned back to look, there stood Harry, tall and sad, looking right at her, paying no attention to the person speaking to him. It was too dangerous. Harry was not being careful.

They’d texted that night and the night after. She told him of her concerns and he promised to be better and less obvious. But the truth was, Harry didn’t know if he could be less obvious. He felt he was being quite clandestine overall. He had a hard time containing his feelings and his need for closeness. He had a natural tendency to wear his heart on his sleeve and smother his lover with affection. He couldn’t help it. He needed to show his love and his appreciation and after Gertrude had their second child, she no longer wanted him to be touchy-feely and overly sweet to her, especially in public. He wanted to hold her hand and kiss her cheeks, he wanted to hug her from time to time and whisper into her ear things no one would ever hear. He wanted to squeeze her hips and kiss her knuckles. He wanted to catch her gazing at him from across the room when he was talking to someone else. He wanted her affection and her attention. But he closed that part off for years because his wife wasn’t interested in it any longer. So to have even just a glimpse of it with Y/n made his heart burn with happiness and shed all the layers that he piled on to suffocate his desires. And now, he was bare again. And it hurt to know that he still couldn’t show his affection how he wanted.

He understood the Queen and she was right; it was a perilous road they were taking. He didn’t want to lose his children and have the Queen excommunicated. But a small part of him thought it might all be worth it. Maybe Gertrude would still let him see the kids on the weekends and Y/n could still be part of the community she grew up in. Maybe things wouldn’t be as bad as the Queen imagined.

But then she didn’t respond to him when he texted her about going away together for a weekend.

From Prince Harry: What if we found a way to go away together for a weekend? Just me and you?

And then his subsequent texts also went unanswered and he felt like he was going crazy. He just wouldn’t accept that this was over. That the Queen didn’t feel the same as he felt. He knew she felt it too. He could tell she was just as enamored. He would find a way to corner her if he had to. Make her answer him and look him in the eye and tell him she didn’t want him.

The Queen didn’t want to entertain the idea of a weekend away. It was painful to think about having to come back to the King and all the sneaking and the lies, and uncertainty. Perhaps it was best to just rip the scab from the wound, to stop while they’re ahead. Before they get in too deep. But the Queen knew that she was already in deep and her heart clenched each time she saw a new text come through from her Prince. He was too precious and wonderful to not fall for. She just didn’t know how to navigate this feeling when she was married to the King and all her norms would be in danger of being lost if they were to get caught.

“Who’s that? Do you need to take it?” Rory asked as she eyed the Queen’s cellphone.

Y/n turned the phone face down and shook her head, “No. It’s fine.” Her smile was faint and she looked down at her tea with that far off stare Rory had gotten used to as of late.

“Was it Harry?” She whispered quietly.

Y/n blinked and straightened her posture as she nodded. Keeping her eyes on her teacup.

“What did he text you? Are you okay?” Rory knew that Y/n was starting to get feelings and how uncertain she was about everything.

Y/n looked at her friend and tilted her head. She figured there was no one better to vent to than Rory, “He wanted a weekend away with me. I didn’t text him back after he asked me about that. And I haven’t read any of his other texts since because it’s hard. I just want us to move on and try to return to normal. We’re both married. He’s got three children!” The Queen spoke in a whisper but her voice became louder with the last sentence and she cleared her throat and swallowed as she tried to reel it in.

“And you think ignoring him is the best way to go about that?” Rory hid the small smile trying to break free. She knew her friend well. The Queen was excellent at pushing her needs and desires down and make it look effortless. She’d been trained her whole life to always be reasonable, judicial, and above reproach.

Y/n snickered lightly and nodded at her friend, “I know what you’re getting at. I’ll talk to him when the time is right. I just… need to think of how to do it. When I’m with him, I can’t… I can’t think straight. I can’t deny him, nor myself. He’s too pushy… convincing, but in the softest and sweetest way. I don’t know how to tell him so that he doesn’t leave hurt and sad.”

“What about you? You won’t also leave hurt and sad when you break it off? You act like he’s the only one with the heart here, Y/n.”

The Queen’s heart was beating for Harry these last twenty-four hours. Not responding to him meant she was hurting him but hurting him was hurting herself.

Harry didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want Gertrude to know he was texting the Queen and a wreck over it, but she noticed something was off with Harry. He was depressed and sad, withdrawn. He’d been moping around for the last few days. Y/n hadn’t responded to him in almost four days now and he couldn’t just go and talk to her. Find out why she’d been ignoring his texts. He deserved more from her, he thought. She couldn’t just leave him hanging like this.

“Harry, are you sure you’re alright? You haven’t even showered in two days and didn’t eat dinner last night. Aggie is worried about you too. She wanted to know why daddy is sad. You have to snap out of it. The kids are noticing your behavior. If you can’t talk to me about it, then you need to straighten yourself out.” Gertrude’s inkling was that this was about Y/n. He’d been acting differently since he’d been with her.  

He knew she was right. It wasn’t fair to his children. He needed to be a present father and if Y/n didn’t care enough to respond to him, well then, he’d move on. There was no need to dwell on a woman who didn’t return his affections. He hated that he’d gone and given himself over to the Queen the way he had, made himself vulnerable to a woman other than Gertie, only to have it be taken away. Again. He would straighten himself out and forget about his time with the Queen.

The first thing he did was text Y/n once more that evening. A final olive branch. He still had hope that she would respond and show him her heart and that it would match his own. When she didn’t respond and the next morning he realized she wasn’t going to, he deleted her contact information. His hands shook as he erased her number from his contacts and removed his archives of their messages.

And then he made a plan to have a sitter watch the kids so he and Gertrude could go out for a date night. Then he planned on making love to his wife, to get the Queen off his mind. Maybe getting back to normal, even if there was lack of intimacy, would be good for him and his soul. Go back to stuffing his feelings away and smothering his need for affection. He’d get his bit of affection from his children and then will himself to be okay with the occasional sex Gertrude would offer. He’d done it before, he could do it again.

It had been a week now, since the Queen had not spoken to him or responded to his texts. Even though he’d deleted her number, he knew she could still text him back and he was meant to not think of her but every day he checked his messages for anything, yet there was nothing.

The date night was nice overall. Gertrude was fun to talk to but she was tired and only wanted to go out to dinner. They took a walk around the small square and bought the kids a few things. When they stopped to pick up dessert at the bakery before heading back home they saw Y/n and Rory. Y/n was sitting and sipping tea in the small corner of the bakery with her friend and Harry stopped in his tracks as Gertrude walked in and began looking around. She hadn’t realized her husband and ceased his movements and that he was stuck in a different world until she turned to see him standing just inside the shop five feet from the door. She followed his gaze and saw the Queen who was also stopped mid-motion and staring at her husband.

Gertrude had had enough of this. She didn’t like the Queen anymore and her intuition told her something was going on but she had no proof. She walked to her husband and took his hand and that snapped him out of his moment, “Harry?”

“Sorry. I uh… I” he swallowed and shook his head and walked with his wife to the counter to pick a cake. He suddenly felt all his resolve crumble when he saw the beautiful Queen and the way she looked at him. But something else took over his resolve that he hadn’t expected. Anger. He was mad. Here she was, sitting and smiling and chatting with a friend while he was in misery and filled with sadness over her not responding to his texts. What a fool he’d been. He straightened his back and put a pleasant smile on his face as he picked over the desserts with his wife.

Y/n was feeling at a loss at seeing the Prince. Handsome as ever and he seemed shocked at her presence but now he was holding Gertrude’s hand and smiling happily as they looked at pastries. She expected him to come to her and greet her but he didn’t. He seemed unphased by her presence suddenly and it hurt a little. But she knew this was for the best.

Y/n continued speaking about what they had been before, as if she hadn’t noticed Harry walk into the bakery but the truth was out. Everyone saw the way she and Harry  stopped and locked eyes for a moment too long and now the two were acting nonchalant. It was all a lie. Rory shook her head and sighed as the Queen spoke causing her to raise her brows in question.

“You can be upset that he’s here. You don’t need to pretend with me, Y/n. I saw what happened. Now you both are pretending nothing happened. At least acknowledge to me that you saw him. You don’t need to make a public display, but it’s me. Don’t pretend with me.”

She was right. The Queen didn’t need to act so nonplussed in front of Rory. She knew the truth and how it affected Y/n. Y/n nodded at her but refused to let her eyes move over to the Prince with his wife.

And Harry did the same. He wasn’t going to look in her direction but after they purchased the cake Gertrude suggested saying hello to the Queen. It would have been rude to just leave, though she would have preferred to do just that.

So, they walked to the small table both with smiles on their faces, “Queen Y/n, Rory… it’s nice to see you both. Prince Harry and I were just headed back home to the kids after a lovely date. How are you?” Gertrude was cool and well put together. The Queen felt like she was going to pass out.

“How wonderful. I’m well. Just enjoying catching up with my friend.” Y/n gestured to Rory who said her hellos to the pair stood next to the table.

Harry still had not glanced at the Queen. In fact, he didn’t speak at all. Just stood with a smile and looked at the table where the Queen’s hands were flat on the surface. She was trying to not reveal her nerves. If she lifted her fingers they’d see how shaky she was.

And that was it. Gertrude said goodbye and Harry put an arm around Gertrude’s waste and pulled her from the bakery without a word or glance toward the Queen. She realized it had been a few days since Harry had reached out to her last. Had he given up? That was what she wanted of course, wasn’t it? For them to move on. For Harry to give up and realize their time together had come to an end. But it hurt. It felt awful for the Queen. She had developed some feelings and she loved the way he treated her and how good everything was when they were alone together. There was no one better suited for her but he was not hers, and she was not his.

The day Y/n woke up and found that she’d begun menstruating felt frustrating. She’d been cramping the night before a little but thought perhaps it was due to being pregnant. She wasn’t convinced that she was pregnant but she hoped she had been. However, it was a disappointment to her when she saw the blood in her underwear that morning. Her period was a few days late, which wasn’t too uncommon. But now she needed to tell the King and figure something out. It was part of the contract that Harry would be the one to continue the task if she were not to get pregnant the first round. Which seemed clear now that she had not.

The meeting was quick. After Y/n told Edgar that she had not conceived, he’d called a meeting for the following morning with Harry, Gertrude, and their advisors. Harry was still cold and would not look at the Queen. He smiled and held Gertrude’s hand. Kissed her cheek and whispered to her something the Queen could not hear. It made her jealous but she didn’t deserve to feel that jealousy. She had to remind herself that Harry was not hers.

But underneath Harry’s cold demeanor were his feelings and nerves exploding. He would not let himself open up to the Queen again. He’d follow protocol and be closed-off to her. She clearly didn’t want him in the way he wanted her and he wouldn’t allow himself to get hurt again. He was too sensitive for that. He didn’t think he could handle it again.

So when the Queen and the Prince signed and initialed everything, the Prince only spoke to her in parting, his eyes on the door in front of him, “See you at the session.”

He was determined to give her what she wanted. Which was very little. He’d fuck her and come inside of her and then leave immediately. There would be no warmth or care or vulnerability. Not anymore.

The Queen, however, was beginning to start feeling her own nerves turn into something excited and she was looking forward to having another week with Harry. The way he was with her last time made her thighs quiver just thinking of it. She had no idea that Harry was working on his resolve to be cold and uncaring toward her as their rules required. While she was imagining how sweet their next session could be, to have another taste of him, he was struggling to keep himself angry with her and composed. He was hurt by her and he would use that to bring him through the week.

So, six days later, both Harry and Y/n met up before their session. The king was busy on that day, so he wouldn’t be around to bother them. The Queen had made herself soft and smooth and put on her favorite perfume for Harry. She was excited. Harry was trying to stay angry, fueled by his heartache.

She immediately noticed Harry’s attitude when she saw him waiting with the guard before they were escorted to the room. He said not a single word to her as he turned and began walking toward their chambers.

Once in the room, Y/n locked the door and cleared her throat, “I was disappointed to not be pregnant, but I looked forward to seeing you again, Harry.”

Harry didn’t speak as he unbuttoned his shirt in silence and kept his eyes on anything but the Queen. She just stood shifting from foot to foot and watched Harry remove his clothes. She was suddenly hyper aware of how standoffish he was. Could he be angry with her? Surely he couldn’t be mad at her for what she’d done. Not responding and cutting off contact was for the best.

“Remove your robe, Queen. Unless you don’t want to go through with this.” Harry spoke as he stood in his boxer briefs. Handsome and strong, a lovely bulge at the front of his underwear, though he was not hard.

“Oh. Okay…” She began pulling her robe dress down and walked to the bed naked and sat. Now she was feeling embarrassed and worried. He wouldn’t even look at her.

Harry turned around, his back to Y/n, and pulled himself out of the front of his briefs and leaned against the wall as he stroked himself. She watched him grow hard in his hand but she was confused by this. She thought maybe he’d kiss her and grow hard from their intimate contact.

“Harry, come here please.” She said hesitantly.

“I will once I’m ready to go in. Get the lube and position yourself for me.” He spoke with no emotion and still had not looked at her. The Queen felt like covering her body all of the sudden. It felt awful to be in this situation. He must be mad at her. But he had to understand her reasoning for why she stopped corresponding with him. Or maybe his feelings for her had changed in these four weeks.

The Queen stood and picked up the bottle of lube and then looked back at Harry. She didn’t want to proceed like this. They couldn’t.

“Please, Harry. Look at me. Talk to me.” She walked to where he was pumping his cock and put a hand on his bicep but he jerked away from her touch. It was finally then that he did look at her and his face was in a scowl. He was indeed angry. The look on his face made that clear.

“Why? So you can tell me everything I want to hear and then fuck off and pretend I don’t exist? No. You don’t get to treat me like you want me and make me lose my mind for you and feel like we have a connection when you didn’t mean it. I’m going to do this how we should have done it the first time. I mean nothing to you and so therefore,” he swallowed before speaking the next part, “you mean nothing to me.” His voice was tight and he hated how the words sounded coming from his mouth. She looked beautiful and she smelled so sweet and it made his mind swirl at the memory of their last encounter. What he said was a lie. She meant everything to him.

“No, Harry. It’s not that. I just… you and I don’t have a chance. I truly meant everything with you, but it’s impossible. You must know that.” She reached for him again but he moved away from her.

“Just… lie on the bed. We’ll get this over with soon enough and you can go back to your sweet little life and not worry about me.”

The Queen scoffed. She hadn’t been used to this. No one spoke to her this way and especially not Harry. He’d been so gentle and so kind to her before.

She tried not to cry as she walked back to the bed. Harry continued working himself as he closed his eyes. He had to face away from her. His emotions were getting too high and he needed to stay cold. Angry even. That would work better in the end. Keeping hold of how she made him feel by just dumping him without a single care. No response, no worry for him. If she didn’t care then he certainly could make himself not care.

Y/n sat at the edge of the bed and tried looking anywhere but toward the prince. He was having trouble getting himself worked up like was necessary and she hated this whole thing. Hated that he felt this way. Hated that it might have been her fault. But what could they do? Certainly not this.

Harry couldn’t feel much except sadness and anger. He wanted to have this be over with but deep down he wished he could be gentle with her and make love to her. He only wanted to show her his heart but she didn’t want it. So he stroked his cock and tried to get himself just to the edge so he could push into her and come without too much feeling or too much time spent inside of her and facing her.

The room was silent. The Queen’s heart was pounding and she felt sick to her stomach. This was the worst outcome, to have him cold toward her. She didn’t want this. She wouldn’t allow it. She’d rather never become pregnant if this was how he’d treat her.

So, when he turned and walked to her, his eyes at the floor he walked to the edge of the bed and leant over, “Ready? Did you put lube on, don’t want to hurt you.” He couldn’t look at her as he spoke. Not anywhere on her body. He hated that he could see her outline and when she spoke he regretted asking her anything because even her voice had his heart wanting.

“No. And I won’t. We can’t do it this way, Harry. This isn’t fair!” She was going to make him look at her and treat her how he had before. It didn’t need to be so emotional and intense like it had been, but this way was not going to happen. Not with such coldness and anger.

Harry blinked and she saw him flare his nostrils, “This is exactly what you wanted.”

Y/n sat up and tried to get Harry to look at her, “No! Of course it’s not, Harry! How could I want this?”

“You made it clear you don’t want me. You used me. I will not be made fool.” He glanced to her bare knee and closed his eyes. Even her knee had him losing his composure.

“I did it because, because… Harry, please look at me.” She reached her hand to his wrist and he dropped his head to his chest and shook it in response.

“Fine. I stopped corresponding because it hurt. Because I can’t have you. It’s too hard. I want you, but I can’t have you. You’re not mine and it’s not fair to you. Or to me.”

Harry laughed and continued shaking his head but this time he lifted his eyes to meet the Queen’s, “You want me but treat me like garbage? Is that how you treat people who have opened themselves up to you? I regret it.”

The Queen’s face fell as she wrapped her hand around his wrist, “No. Please, Harry. I’m sorry. I… don’t know how to deal with this kind of thing. I didn’t want to do it like that. I really… I started getting feelings and it was too much. Please…”

Harry’s eyes burned into the Queen’s and he leaned down to pick up the bottle of lube that she hadn’t opened. He poured the liquid into his hand and smoothed it over his shaft and closed his eyes.

“Do you want me to come inside of you or in the bathroom away from you? If you don’t want to do this I won’t, but I’m not here to discuss what could have been or what was since you have no interest in my feelings.”

Y/n huffed and tightened her grip on Harry’s wrist, “Fuck, Harry. I’m trying to explain why I did it. I don’t want to fall in love with you but I’m well on my way.” She kept her eyes on his and this had him pausing his strokes and he furrowed his brow as she continued, “My heart can’t handle it because it can’t be. And I didn’t mean to hurt you in the process, but I’m sorry. I wish I knew how to handle this situation better.”

Harry pulled his wrist out of the Queen’s hold and began to back away as he turned toward the bathroom. He’d had enough. He would just go into the bathroom and be done here for the day. She was not his responsibility.

Y/n’s voice came out in desperation and she got up to run after him, “No! Harry, stop.” She grabbed his elbow and pulled him back, “Please. Come inside of me. Even if you hate me.”

Harry kept his face toward the bathroom door as he closed his eyes and pushed his tears down. His heart was breaking. He realized he was being a bit stubborn and the Queen was trying to apologize and explain but he was hurt. His soul needed more than she could give him and he needed to protect his heart from Y/n. He didn’t know how he was going to navigate the rest of the week. It was already torture.

He allowed himself to be moved back toward the bed at the Queen’s urging. Y/n laid back and put a squirt of lube over herself and spread her legs. She grasped at his hand and pulled him over her and Harry leaned himself over the edge of the bed, feet on the ground. He steadied himself with a palm flat on the mattress and lined himself up to Y/n. He looked down at her nakedness and then to her eyes and let out a breath that came out with a small crack of his voice. An accidental display of weakness. He closed his eyes as he put himself into her.

They both breathed hard and it hurt. It didn’t feel like it should. Physically it felt okay, but their hearts were both aching and their joining was not a happy one.

Y/n laid flat and closed her eyes as tears rolled down her cheeks and she felt him move inside of her. But Harry opened his eyes and looked down at his Queen with tears on her face. He hated this. This isn’t how he wanted to do it.

“This is what you wanted, right?” He pushed in and dragged himself back a little but it felt awful. It felt like acid and achy nerves in the stomach.

“Harry, I just, I don’t want anyone hurt.” She breathed out as more tears fell onto her cheeks.

“Except me? Right? It’s okay to hurt me because I’m nothing more than just a sperm bank for you and the King.” He continued his movements into her and they both stared at one another.

Y/n’s lip wobbled as she tried to stop herself from crying more. She wanted things to be different but she didn’t know how they could. She knew he didn’t believe those awful things he’d just said. He had to know she felt so much more than that for him. But she didn’t say it. She just couldn’t get the words out. It felt like too much in the moment.

Harry clenched his jaw and closed his eyes and a tear fell from his eye and splashed down onto Y/n’s nose. He shook his head, “You hurt me.” He pushed in and opened his eyes again, “Broke my heart. Made me open up to you and then pretended I didn’t exist.”

Harry was still angry. The Queen’s face and the way she was looking at him told him something different than what he was saying, but he needed her to tell him. When she lifted her hand to his cheek it caused his heart to leap and he felt like he just needed to get this over with and get out of the room before he really lost it. She wanted him to come inside her so he would and then he’d leave. He would not chase her or beg her or plead with her anymore. If she wanted him, she’d tell him and show him.

With his eyes still closed he allowed himself to feel her around him and tried blocking out how much pain he was in. Her small gasps at his thrusts sounded almost like the last time they had sex.

And then with her soft voice in his ear, “Come inside of me, my Prince. Please.” He groaned and pressed his lips to hers. He hadn’t planned on kissing her but he wanted the sweetness of her kiss and the feel of her on him.

A moment later he was coming inside of her and grunting at each inward plunge. They kept their lips together for a moment after he’d calmed and when he felt her fingers tracing over his back he realized he couldn’t do this with her, the kissing and the softness. Not until she wanted him and would give herself to him.

He pushed himself up and stepped away from the bed, quickly dressing himself, never looking in her direction, and then he left the room without another word.

The Queen knew this was what she deserved. For the way she ignored him and hurt him. He wanted more of her and she didn’t know if she could give it. Instead of moving off the bed, or covering at all, she curled herself up and cried. Her face was hot and her heart was sad. She didn’t want this. The reality of their situation was difficult and impossible but how could she go on when she knew Harry was deeply hurt by her?

Of all the people she didn’t want to hurt, Harry was the most important to her, but she’d hurt him the most. She had some reconciling to do in her heart. She just hoped she could figure out what she wanted before she saw the Prince tomorrow.

Chapter 8*

Thank you for reading! I’d appreciate any support you can give! Whether a comment, reblog, or buying me a coffee - it’s all appreciated.

Check out my masterlist if you enjoyed this 💞

Tags: @victoria-styles @michellekstyles @ssaama @angelqueen99 @sombrioinvernoemveneza @golden-hoax @a-strange-familiar @reveriehs @yousunshineyoutempter @the-gardener-31 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @swiftmendeshoran @luvonstyles @dancinsunflowerkiwi @tiaamberxx @immadeoutofspace @harrysbitchbabe @daphnesutton @matildasatellite @duh-dobrik @sadeslovechild @closureesny @belovedinbloom @be-with-me-so-happily @sushiirestaurant @melllinaa

[oreoambitions]

I just want to crosspost this from the Yosemite National Park facebook page, because I think it’s a really important message for anyone who spends time in wild places. Apologies if it has already been crossposted.

Speeding Kills Bear We get this call a lot. Too much, to be honest. “Bear hit by vehicle, dead on the side of the road.” Sadly, it’s become routine. I log the coordinates into my phone, gather the equipment I may need, and head to the location. This call came in cold; it sounds like the collision happened sometime around noon and it’s 4 pm now. The location is an hour’s drive away, so by the time I get there it’s well after 5 pm. I pull off on the shoulder, lug a large backpack of equipment over my back, and head off down the road. My job here is easy, really: find the bear, move its body far away from the road to prevent any other animals from getting hit while scavenging on it, fill out a report, and collect samples and measurements for research. Then I’m off on my way again with another number to add to the total of bears hit by vehicles this year—data we hope will help prevent future collisions. Pretty callous. However, the reality behind each of these numbers is not. Per the coordinates I was given, I’m still a few hundred yards off, so I continue down the road scanning it for blood as cars whiz by. I try to remember how many times I’ve done this now and, truthfully, I don’t know. This is not what any of us signs up for, but it’s a part of the job nonetheless. Then something catches my eye. It’s small and artificial, and laying in the middle of the road. As I walk closer, I see that it’s a broken shapeless car part, likely from an undercarriage. More cars whiz past. I turn my gaze from the car part down the embankment on the side of the road and there it is.   A cub. Its tiny light brown body laying just feet from me and the road, nearly invisible to every passerby. It’s a new cub—couldn’t be much more than six months old, now balled up and lifeless under a small pine tree. For a moment I lose track of time as I stand there staring at its tiny body, but then the sound of more cars whizzing by reminds me of my place and my role. I let out a deep sigh and continue on with my task.   I pick up the cub—it couldn’t be much more than 25 pounds—and begin carrying it off into the woods. I have no certain destination; I’m just walking until I can no longer hear the hiss of the road behind me. I see a grassy spot surrounded by a semi-ring of down logs and gravitate towards it. The least I can do is find it a nice place to be laid. I lay it down in the grass protected by one of the nearby logs and sit back on the log opposite of it, slightly relieved that it looks far more in place now than when I found it earlier. I take another moment and then continue with my work. I slide off my backpack, remove a binder, and start the assessment. It’s a female. This immediately triggers thoughts of the life this bear may have lived—perhaps she would have had cubs of her own—but before I finish that thought I hear a stick break and look up. Just beyond the ring, there’s a familiar figure intently staring back at me. It’s another bear. Surprised, I stand up quickly and the bear runs off into the brush but stops not far off and looks back at me. Acting on instinct, I pick up a stick and smash it over a tree to scare the bear further away. I stand there quietly, listening as I hear the bear’s footsteps tapper away.   A few silent minutes pass, and I settle back into my task. Timely coincidence, I think at first. It could be a bear coming to scavenge or this could be a common crossing area for whatever reason—we did have another bear hit and killed not far from here last week. But then I hear it, and it changes my mind completely. From behind me there’s a deep toned but soft sounding grunt. I immediately know what it is. It’s a vocalization, the kind sows (female bears) make to call to their cubs. I turn and look in its direction and there she is, the same bear from before intently staring back at me. It’s no coincidence. I can feel the callousness drain from my body. This bear is the mom, and she never left her cub. My heart sinks. It’s been nearly six hours and she still hasn’t given up on her cub. I can just imagine how many times she darted back and forth on that road in attempts to wake it. It's extremely lucky that she wasn't hit as well. The calls to the cub continue, sounding more pained each time. I glance back finding myself hoping it would respond to her call too, but of course, nothing. Now here I am, standing between a grieving mother and her child. I feel like a monster. I get up, quickly pack my bag, and get out of there. It is time to go even though my task is not done. Quickly, I set up a remote camera. Why? Every year we report the number of bears that get hit by vehicles, but numbers don’t always paint a picture. I want people to see what I saw: the sad reality behind each of these numbers.   So please, remember this. Remember that when traveling through Yosemite, we are all just visitors in the home of countless animals and it is up to us to follow the rules that  protect them. Go the speed limit, drive alertly, and look out for wildlife. Protecting Yosemite’s black bears is something we can all do. Learn more at http://keepbearswild.org/vehicle-bear-collisions/.

[bylerforall]

Bit of a long one today.

There are two possibilities of what could happen in season 5. The two famous ships Mileven and Byler. In my opinion the most understandable option that would make sense with the story is Byler.

Eleven only knew Mike for a week and they loved eachother. I guess it does kind of make sense but come on, she literally just escaped from a lab where she was abused and traumatised. She was definitely not ready for a relationship, she didn’t even know what a relationship was!

I feel like this love triangle (can I call it that? idk) is a tricky one to figure out, so let’s dive into the depths of the characters more.

1. Will

Will is a sweet and caring character who has been bullied a lot in his life, people even saying he’s queer or calling him the f-slur. After the upside down incident and the possession, Will changed. He was still kind and quiet, but something inside of him is different. Even Jonathan points it out when he’s talking to Nancy; “yeah, but he’s not the same.”

In season 3, we all know he had quite a big fight with Mike and Lucas (mostly Mike) and they were yelling at eachother in Mike’s garage before Will left with his bike in the pouring rain.

As soon as he got home he immediately went to Castle Byers, looking at all of his memories with his friends before ripping it all up and smashing down his childhood creation. The fight was obviously a massive impact on him, as Castle Byers took him forever to make with his brother but he never gave up on building it, even though he was very bad dealing with a hammer.

In season 4, his feelings for Mike are way more obvious. They do share quite a few moments in vol. 1 and they all had a lot of sentimental value. Hearing Mike say; “friends. best friends.” probably made his whole world.

In my opinion, they wouldn’t kill Will off Stranger Things. Not while he’s barely ever been happy once in the entire show. I feel like they would at least let him be happy before killing him. That would just be cruel. Will is stronger than most people think, and he’s smart too.

He needs his main character status back.

2. Mike

Now, Mike is a tricky one. There are lots of theories about his feelings towards Will and Eleven but the one that made the most sense to me was internalised homophobia.

It is quite clear how he avoided Will’s hug at the airport, and he acts totally different with Will when El’s around. When they’re alone together, it’s all heart eyes and smiles. I feel like Mike is struggling a lot but he’s just not showing it or telling anybody. He can’t even tell El that he loves her. He does struggle with expressing his feelings, but when it comes to Will he’s very open.

Even back in season 3 in the last episode where the Byers and El were packing for California. (I have made a post about this but I don’t care I’m saying it again). Mike and El shared a kiss but his eyes were open and he was unusually framed outside an open closet.

On the other hand with Will, they talk about him joining another party when he moves. Will replies with “not possible” with Mike smiling before walking off down the corridor. Once the car drives off, he looks back at the Byers house. Now, most Mileven shippers are probably like “oh it’s because he misses El and wants her back.” Honey, no. You got it all wrong. Why would he think that when looking back at Will’s house? The one that Will has literally lived in all of his life? That’s not coincidence. He’s obviously thinking about Will.

Mike in season 4 continuously reminds Will that they’re friends. “We’re friends. We’re friends.” Like boy, we know. Why are you reminding us? Will obviously knows that you’re friends too so why do you keep continuously saying it? It’s almost like he’s trying to convince himself more than Will, trying to keep up the perfect, straight boyfriend act for El. Don’t lie, Mike. We know what you are. You’ve made it pretty clear now.

3. Eleven

Now, Eleven. Eleven has struggled her entire life in a lab where she���s been experimented on, and only learnt like 5 words. She’s been traumatised, we know. She doesn’t really know anything about the outside world, she didn’t know what relationships were either. Yet, she got into one a week after she escaped. A literal week. Like bae, you’re moving too fast. Please slow down.

Eleven has made a lot of connections since she left, but Mike and Hopper were always her closest ones.

I feel like in season 4, she really accomplished a lot on her own. She manages to accomplish a lot on her own as well. Finding her mother, the lost sister episode in season 2, escaping the lab, closing the gate, and finally regaining her powers that she had lost, fighting Vecna without the help of Mike. She’s better when she’s doing things on her own. She’s more free, and she doesn’t have anybody relying on her or slowing her down.

With Mike, I feel like they’re just not meant to be together. I feel like they’re both better off with somebody else.

I hope we see more of Byler in s5. I’m really looking forward to it. If we don’t, well I guess it’s just bad luck. We can’t really change it and that’s okay. All we can do is hope.

[osakaso5]

IDOLiSH7 6th Anniversary Special Story: Full of Heart...

Chapter 3: Eternal Memories

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6

Riku Nanase: Ah, I was planning to use this picture, too! Here, look.

Tenn Kujo: Good thing we set up this meeting, then.

Iori Izumi: It's all thanks to my guidance. The two of you should be grateful.

Tenn & Riku: Thank you.

Iori Izumi: Still, I can't believe you'd both choose the exact same photo, out of all the ones you have.

Iori Izumi: Was it just a coincidence? Or do you have some kind of twin superpowers?

Tenn Kujo: I wouldn't exactly call it a superpower, but we have always had a tendency to pick the same things.

Riku Nanase: Yeah! Like at a restaurant, we'd always order the same thing.

Iori Izumi: Perhaps it's not as unusual for you to have matching tastes and interests as I made it out to be, considering you were raised together.

Tenn & Riku: Right.

Iori Izumi: Which park is this? Do you remember where it is?

Tenn Kujo: Near our old house. We went there for a picnic, since Riku was feeling well that day.

Riku Nanase: We brought canteens and lunchboxes. It wasn't our first visit to that park, but eating lunch there made it feel like an adventure.

Tenn Kujo: You have a nice smile in this picture, Riku. Why don't you use this one? I can pick something else.

Riku Nanase: Are you sure? I think you look really cute here too, Tenn-nii. You've got this kind of composed look on your face.

Riku Nanase: I think your fans would be happy to see you like this.

Tenn Kujo: And your fans would like to see the way you look here, too. Hmm, this is a tough decision.

Tenn Kujo: Your thoughts, Iori Izumi?

Iori Izumi: You're asking me?

Tenn Kujo: I thought I'd leave this up to outside judgement.

Riku Nanase: Which one of us do you think should use this picture for the show?

Iori Izumi: ......... Nanase-san.

Riku Nanase: Oh! How come?

Iori Izumi: Because we might not have the time to reach out to Kujo-san a second time if you're the one who needs to reselect his picture.

Iori Izumi: I trust in his ability to choose an appropriate photo much more than I trust yours.

Tenn Kujo: Makes sense.

Riku Nanase: So it has nothing to do with the photo itself?

Iori Izumi: Although if you select something from the pictures we looked at last night, perhaps Kujo-san could also use this one.

Iori Izumi: Why not the one you showed me, where your face is covered in ketchup...

Riku Nanase: The one where I'm eating omurice?

Iori Izumi: Yes. You looked so innocent and cu... Ahem. I just thought it would make for a good conversation piece.

Riku Nanase: I guess I'll go with that one, then!

Tenn Kujo: What about your picture, Iori Izumi? Which one did you pick?

Iori Izumi: ........ Mine is... nothing unusual... Just a perfectly normal childhood picture...

Tenn Kujo: Based on your reluctance to go into any more detail, I highly doubt that.

Riku Nanase: We can show you! Apparently Mitsuki chose the picture, and Iori looks totally adorable in it!

Iori Izumi: ........ It... It really isn't anything worth showing to people...

Tenn Kujo: It's not worth showing to people, so you decided to display it on national television?

Riku Nanase: C'mon, Iori. Even Tenn-nii wants to see it!

Tenn Kujo: Pretty please.

Iori Izumi: Please stop it with the innocent act...

Iori Izumi: ...Fine. Here it is, since you insist...

Tenn Kujo: Wow, you look cute. A plushie in your arms, a happy little smile on your face...

Riku Nanase: Isn't it precious!?

Iori Izumi: That's enough. I don't need your flattery...

Riku Nanase: We're not just saying that, you know! I even wanted to pretend like I was the one that gave you that plushie.

Iori Izumi: I don't know why you feel this much of a need to usurp your twin.

Riku Nanase: I mean it! There's not a single person who wouldn't be happy if their present was received like how you received that plushie.

Riku Nanase: God, Santa Claus, whoever. I think it'd make just about anyone feel on top of the world.

Iori Izumi: You're the one who's always smiling like that, anyway.

Riku Nanase: Huh?

Iori Izumi: Nothing. I was just thinking out loud.

Iori Izumi: Still, not even I expected my younger self to smile so earnestly.

Tenn Kujo: What made you look so sour all the time?

Iori Izumi: I don't look like this all the time. Just very often, especially around your younger brother.

Tenn Kujo: I don't know. You seem to give me plenty of sour looks, too.

Iori Izumi: Only when the cameras are off and you're acting like your usual, standoffish self.

Tenn Kujo: I'm not standoffish. I just take things seriously.

Tenn Kujo: So, how old were you exactly? When you stopped sleeping with this cutesy teddy bear, I mean.

Iori Izumi: ...How do you know I used to sleep with it!? Did my brother tell you?

Tenn Kujo: Most little kids like to sleep with a stuffed toy or two. Especially one that looks this fluffy.

Iori Izumi: I did enjoy that, myself...

Tenn Kujo: Riku never could've done that, though. His selection of bedtime toys was limited, so he didn't have attacks at night.

Riku Nanase: True.

Iori Izumi: Ah... I see... And you even seem like you'd have enjoyed these kind of fluffy toys...

Riku Nanase: Are you sure you're not just talking about yourself..?

Tenn Kujo: Riku. Were you lonely without plushies to keep you company?

Riku Nanase: Of course not. I had you, Tenn-nii.

Riku Nanase: I never felt lonely, even though I never got to go to school, or pet any cats or dogs.

Riku Nanase: When you were around, I was always happy and having fun. And I'm really grateful for that.

Tenn Kujo: Riku...

Riku & Iori: Tenn-nii...

Tenn & Riku: ........!?

Riku Nanase: W-what was that!? Why did you call him Tenn-nii, too!?

Iori Izumi: Because I knew that's what you were going to say. What do you think of my ability to predict you?

Tenn Kujo: You can be very strange, for someone so smart.

Iori Izumi: I could say the same about you. Don't you think you're being unusually soft on Nanase-san today?

Tenn Kujo: I guess so... I guess nostalgia's gotten the best of me.

Tenn Kujo: That'll happen when you reminisce about your childhood.

Riku Nanase: Maybe... I should just stick one of our childhood pictures on my face all the time...

Iori Izumi: You're an idol, so please don't start trying to censor your own face.

Riku Nanase: But I want Tenn-nii to be nice to me!

Iori Izumi: Of course yo do... Ah, by the way. Are you sure that picture you showed me at the dorm wouldn't be the best pick for you?

Iori Izumi: You know, the one where you're holding a Rabitty-kun doll. I think it'd work nicely, especially from a sponsor standpoint.

Riku Nanase: Yeah, maybe!

Tenn Kujo: I'm glad Rabitty-kun made a comeback. Toi Toi Toi was on the verge of bankruptcy before then.

Riku Nanase: They were?

Tenn Kujo: Yep. They released some low quality Rabitty-kun products, and were dealing with tons of customer complaints.

Tenn Kujo: It was damaging enough to their reputation that they had to sell the main office building and the CEO's house.

Iori Izumi: I see... I think the Rabitty-kun we had might've been one of the defective ones.

Iori Izumi: It made strange noises sometimes...

Riku Nanase: Yeah, I can kind of see why people would complain about their children's toys making creepy noises. They probably made lots of kids cry.

Iori Izumi: Still, it's incredible that they were able to bounce back and resume sales six years ago.

Riku Nanase: Wow... That company's sure had some big ups and downs.

Riku Nanase: Kind of like us!

Iori Izumi: Right... I do hope we can help them have a good anniversary.

Tenn Kujo: Yeah.

Iori Izumi: What sort of games did you two play when you were little?

Tenn Kujo: We played normally enough. Drawing, card games, things like that.

Riku Nanase: I couldn't get out of bed or move around much, so Tenn-nii would sing and dance for me.

Riku Nanase: We came up with lots of games where I sat still, while he moved around.

Riku Nanase: Like the Tenn-nii Robot!

Iori Izumi: The "Tenn-nii Robot"?

Tenn Kujo: Ah, I remember that one.

Iori Izumi: What kind of game was it?

Riku Nanase: I used this controller we made out of milk cartons to order Tenn-nii around.

Riku Nanase: And he'd do as I told him to. It was a lot of fun!

Tenn Kujo: Sure was.

Riku Nanase: Tenn-nii Robot, fire missiles!

Tenn Kujo: Boom!

Riku Nanase: Tenn-nii Robot, fire your machine gun!

Tenn Kujo: Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat.

Riku Nanase: Tenn-nii Robot, equip your lazer sword!

Tenn Kujo: Kwishuuuu, clink!

Tenn & Riku: It was so much fun!

Iori Izumi: Kujo-san...

Tenn Kujo: What?

Iori Izumi: You taught an innocent young child the joys of having Tenn Kujo at his beck and call? That should be a criminal offense.

Tenn Kujo: What are you talking about..?

Iori Izumi: You're exactly the reason why Nanase-san grew up to be so inhumanly naive and spoiled.

Tenn Kujo: Are you spoiled, Riku?

Riku Nanase: No! Hey, Iori..! Since when am I spoiled!?

Iori Izumi: Do you really have to ask? Today, you slept in so late that I had to help you pack.

Riku Nanase: How is that spoiled!? I just asked you for help! And you agreed to help me with my clothes, too!

Iori Izumi: I was worried we'd be even more late if I let you try and fail to decide on what to wear. You have no right to complain here.

Riku Nanase: I guess not, but...

Tenn Kujo: So, Iori Izumi's your stylist for today.

Riku Nanase: Do I look good?

Tenn Kujo: Sure.

Riku Nanase: Ehehe! You hear that, Iori!?

Iori Izumi: Of course you look good, with a producer like me. You should have more self-confidence.

Tenn Kujo: You two sure are close.

Riku Nanase: Yeah, we are!

Iori Izumi: How, exactly?

Riku Nanase: There you go again. Tenn-nii Robot, attack Iori!

Tenn Kujo: Kwishuuuu, clink...  

Iori Izumi: Urgh..! ...Please, do NOT try to stab me!

Tenn Kujo: Beep beep beep. Mission complete.

Iori Izumi: You of all people should know better than to indulge him!

Riku Nanase: Ahahaha! 

To be continued...

[oscopelabs]

Isn’t Everything Autobiographical?: Ethan Hawke In Nine Films And A Novel by Marya Gates

When asked during his first ever on-camera interview if he’d like to continue acting, a young Ethan Hawke replied, “I don’t know if it’s going to be there, but I’d like to do it.” He then gives a guileless shrug of relief as the interview ends, wiping imaginary sweat off his brow. The simultaneous fusion of his nervous energy and poised body language will be familiar to those who’ve seen later interviews with the actor. The practicality and wisdom he exudes at such a young age would prove to be a through-line of his nearly 40-year career. In an interview many decades later, he told Ideas Tap that many children get into acting because they’re seeking attention, but those who find their calling in the craft discover that a “desire to communicate and to share and to be a part of something bigger than yourself takes over, a certain craftsmanship—and that will bring you a lot of pleasure.”

Through Hawke’s dedication to his craft, we’ve also seen his maturation as a person unfold on screen. Though none of his roles are traditionally what we think of when we think of autobiography, many of Hawke’s roles, as well as his work as a writer, suggest a sort of fictional autobiographical lineage. While these highlights in his career are not strictly autofiction, one can trace Hawke’s Künstlerromanesque trajectory from his childhood ambitions to his life now as a man dedicated to art, not greatness. 

Hawke’s first two films, Joe Dante’s sci-fi fantasy Explorers with River Phoenix and Peter Weir’s Dead Poets Society with Robin Williams, set the tone for a diverse filmography filled with popcorn fare and indie cinema in equal measure, but they also served as touchstones in his development as person drawn to self-expression through art. In an interview with Rolling Stone’s David Fear, Hawke spoke about the impact of these two films on him as an actor. When River Phoenix, his friend and co-star in Explorers, had his life cut short by a drug overdose, it hit Hawke personally. He saw from the inside what Hollywood was capable of doing to young people with talent. Hawke never attempted to break out, to become a star. He did the work he loved and kept the wild Hollywood lifestyle mostly at arm’s length. 

Like any good film of this genre, Dead Poets Society is not just a film about characters coming of age, but a film that guides the viewer as well, if they are open to its message. Hawke’s performance as repressed schoolboy Todd in the film is mostly internal, all reactions and penetrating glances, rather than grandiose movements or speeches. Through his nervy body language and searching gaze, you can feel both how closed off to the world Todd is, and yet how willing he is to let change in. Hawke has said working on this film taught him that art has a real power, that it can affect people deeply. This ethos permeates many of the characters Hawke has inhabited in his career. 

In Dead Poets Society, Mr. Keating (Robin Williams) tells the boys that we read and write poetry because the human race is full of passion. He insists, “poetry, beauty, romance, love—these are what we stay alive for.” Hawke gave a 2020 TEDTalk entitled Give Yourself Permission To Be Creative, in which he explored what it means to be creative, pushing viewers to ask themselves if they think human creativity matters. In response to his own question, he said “Most people don’t spend a lot of time thinking about poetry, right? They have a life to live and they’re not really that concerned with Allen Ginsberg’s poems, or anybody’s poems, until their father dies, they go to a funeral, you lose a child, somebody breaks your heart, they don’t love you anymore, and all of the sudden you’re desperate for making sense out of this life and ‘has anyone ever felt this bad before? How did they come out of this cloud?’ Or the inverse, something great. You meet somebody and your heart explodes. You love them so much, you can’t even see straight, you know, you’re dizzy. ‘Did anybody feel like this before? What is happening to me?’ And that’s when art is not a luxury. It’s actually sustenance. We need it.” 

Throughout many of his roles post-Dead Poets Society, Hawke explores the nature of creativity through his embodiment of writers and musicians. Often these characters are searching for a greater purpose through art, while ultimately finding that human connection is the key. Without that human connection, their art is nothing.

We see the first germ of this attraction to portray creative people on screen with his performance as Troy Dyer in Reality Bites. As Troy Dyer, a philosophy-spouting college dropout turned grunge-band frontman in Reality Bites, Hawke was posited as a Gen-X hero. His inability to keep a job and his musician lifestyle were held in stark contrast to Ben Stiller’s yuppie TV exec Michael Grates. However in true slacker spirit, he isn’t actually committed to the art of music, often missing rehearsals, as Lelaina points out. Troy even uses his music at one point to humiliate Lelaina, dedicating a rendition of “Add It Up” by Violent Femmes to her. The lyrics add insult to injury as earlier that day he snuck out of her room after the two had sex for the first time. Troy’s lack of commitment to his music matches his inability to commit to those relationships in his life that mean the most to him. 

Reality Bites is also where he first positioned himself as one of the great orators of modern cinema.” Take this early monologue, in which he outlines his beliefs to Winona Ryder’s would-be documentarian Lelaina Pierce: “There’s no point to any of this. It’s all just a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes. So I take pleasure in the details. You know, a quarter-pounder with cheese, those are good, the sky about ten minutes before it starts to rain, the moment where your laughter become a cackle, and I, I sit back and I smoke my Camel Straights and I ride my own melt.” 

Hawke brings the same intense gaze to this performance as he did to Dead Poets Society, as if his eyes could swallow the world whole. But where Todd’s body language was walled-off, Troy’s is loud and boisterous. He’s quick to see the faults of those around him, but also the good things the world has to offer. It’s a pretty honest depiction of how self-centered your early-20s tend to be, where riding your own melt seems like the best option. As the film progresses, Troy lets others in, saying to Lelaina, “This is all we need. A couple of smokes, a cup of coffee, and a little bit of conversation. You, me and five bucks.”

Like the character, Hawke was in his early twenties and as he would continue to philosophize through other characters, they would age along with him and so would their takes on the world. If you only engage with anyone at one phase in their life, you do a disservice to the arc of human existence. We have the ability to grow and change as we learn who we are and become less self-centered. In Hawke’s career, there’s no better example of this than his multi-film turn as Jesse in the Before Trilogy. While the creation of Jesse and Celine are credited to writer-director Richard Linklater and his writing partner Kim Krizan, much of what made it to the screen even as early as the first film were filtered through the life experiences of Hawke and his co-star Julie Delpy. 

In a Q&A with Jess Walter promoting his most recent novel A Bright Ray of Darkness, Hawke said that Jesse from the Before Trilogy is like an alt-universe version of himself, and through them we can see the self-awareness and curiosity present in the early ET interview grow into the the kind of man Keating from Dead Poets Society urged his students to become. 

In Before Sunrise, Hawke’s Jesse is roughly the same age as Troy in Reality Bites, and as such is still in a narcissistic phase of his life. After spending several romantic hours with Celine in Vienna, the two share their thoughts about relationships. Celine says she wants to be her own person, but that she also desperately wants to love and be loved. Jesse shares this monologue, “Sometimes I dream about being a good father and a good husband. And sometimes it feels really close. But then other times it seems silly, like it would ruin my whole life. And it’s not just a fear of commitment or that I’m incapable of caring or loving because. . . I can. It’s just that, if I’m totally honest with myself, I think I’d rather die knowing that I was really good at something. That I had excelled in some way than that I’d just been in a nice, caring relationship.”

The film ends without the audience knowing if Jesse and Celine ever see each other again. That initial shock is unfortunately now not quite as impactful if you are aware of the sequels. But I think it is an astute look at two people who meet when they are still discovering who they are. Still growing. Jesse, at least, is definitely not ready for any kind of commitment. Then of course, we find out in Before Sunset that he’s fumbled his way into marriage and fatherhood, and while he’s excelling at the latter, he’s failing at the former. 

As in Reality Bites, Hawke explores the dynamics of band life again in Before Sunset, when Jesse recalls to Celine how he was in a band, but they were too obsessed with getting a deal to truly enjoy the process of making music. He says to her, “You know, it's all we talked about, it was all we thought about, getting bigger shows, and everything was just...focused on the future, all the time. And now, the band doesn't even exist anymore, right? And looking back at the... at the shows we did play, even rehearsing... You know, it was just so much fun! Now I'd be able to enjoy every minute of it.”

The filming of Before Sunset happened to coincide with the dissolution of Hawke’s first marriage. And while these films are not autobiographical, everyone involved have stated that they’ve added personal elements to their characters. They even poke fun at it in the opening scene when a journalist asks how autobiographical Jesse’s novel is. True to form, he responds with a monologue, “Well, I mean, isn’t everything autobiographical? I mean, we all see the world through our own tiny keyhole, right? I mean, I always think of Thomas Wolfe, you know. Have you ever seen that little one page note to reader in the front of Look Homeward, Angel, right? You know what I'm talking about? Anyway, he says that we are the sum of all the moments of our lives, and that, anybody who sits down to write is gonna use the clay of their own life, that you can’t avoid that.”

While Before Sunset was shot in 2003, released in 2004 and this monologue refers to the fictional book within the trilogy entitled This Time, Hawke would take this same approach more than a decade later with his novel A Bright Ray of Darkness.

In the novel, Hawke crafts a quasi-autobiographical story, using his experience in theater to work through the perspective he now has on his failed marriage to Uma Thurman. Much like Jesse in Before Sunset, Hawke is reluctant to call the book autobiographical, but the parallels to his own divorce are evident. And as Jesse paraphrased Wolfe, isn’t everything we do autobiographical? In the book, movie star William Harding has blown up his seemingly picture-perfect marriage with a pop star by having an affair while filming on location in South Africa. The book, structured in scenes and acts like a play, follows the aftermath as he navigates his impending divorce, his relationship with his small children, and his performance as Hotspur in a production of Henry IV on Broadway. 

Throughout much of the novel, William looks back at the mistakes he made that led to the breakup of his marriage. He’s now in his 30s and has the clarity to see how selfish he was in his 20s. Hawke, however, was in his forties while writing the book. Through the layers of hindsight, you can feel how Hawke has processed not just the painful emotional growth spurt of his 20s, but also the way he can now mine the wisdom that comes from true reflection. Still, as steeped as the novel is in self-reflection, it does not claim to have all the answers. In fact, it offers William, as well as the readers, more questions to contemplate than it does answers.

The wisdom to know that you will never quite understand everything is broached by Hawke early in the third film in the Before Trilogy, 2013’s Before Midnight. At this point in their love story, Jesse’s marriage has ended and he and Celine are parents to twin girls. Jesse has released two more books: That Time, which recounts the events of the previous film, and Temporary Cast Members of a Long-Running But Little Seen Production of a Play Called Fleeting. Before Midnight breaks the bewitching spell of the first two films by adding more cast members and showing the friction that comes with an attempt to grow old with someone. When discussing his three books, a young man says the title of his third is too long, Jesse says it wasn’t as well loved, and an older professor friend says it’s his best book because it’s more ambitious. It seems Linklater and company already knew how the departure of this third film might be regarded by fans. But it is this very departure that shows their commitment to honestly showing the passage of time and our relationship to it. 

About halfway through the film Jesse and Celine depart the Greek villa where they have been spending the summer, and we finally get a one-on-one conversation like we’re used to with these films. In one exchange, I feel they summarize the point of the entire trilogy, and possibly Hawke’s entire ethos: 

Jesse: Every year, I just seem to get a little bit more humbled and more overwhelmed about all the things I’m never going to know or understand. 

Celine: That’s what I keep telling you. You know nothing!

Jesse: I know, I know! I'm coming around! 

[Celine and Jesse laugh.] 

Celine: But not knowing is not so bad. I mean, the point is to be looking, searching. To stay hungry, right?

Throughout the series, Linklater, Delpy, and Hawke explore what they call the “transient nature of everything.” Jesse says his books are less about time and more about perception. It’s the rare person who can assess themselves or the world around them acutely in the present. For most of us, it takes time and self-reflection to come to any sort of understanding about our own nature. Before Midnight asks us to look back at the first two films with honesty, to remove the romantic lens with which they first appeared to us. It asks us to reevaluate what romance even truly is. 

Hawke explores this same concept again in the 2018 romantic comedy Juliet, Naked. In this adaptation of the 2009 Nick Hornby novel, Hawke plays a washed-up singer-songwriter named Tucker Crowe. He had a big hit album, Juliet, in the early ‘90s and then disappeared into obscurity. Rose Bryne plays a woman named Annie whose longtime boyfriend Duncan is obsessed with the singer and the album, stuck on the way the bummer songs about a bad breakup make him feel. As the film begins, Annie reveals that she thinks she’s wasted 15 years of her life with this schmuck. This being a rom-com, we know that Hawke and Byrne’s characters will eventually meet-cute. What’s so revelatory about the film is its raw depiction of how hard it is for many to reassess who they really are later in life. 

Duncan is stuck as the self-obsessed, self-pitying person he likely was when Annie first met him, but she reveals he was so unlike anyone else in her remote town that she looked the other way for far too long. Now it’s almost too late. By chance, she connects with Crowe and finds a different kind of man.

See, when Crowe wrote Juliet, he also was a navel-gazing twentysomething whose emotional development had not yet reached the point of being able to see both sides in a romantic entanglement. He worked through his heartbreak through art, and though it spoke to other people, he didn’t think about the woman or her feelings on the subject. In a way, Crowe’s music sounds a bit like what Reality Bites’s Troy Dyer may have written, if he ever had the drive to actually work at his music. Eventually, it’s revealed that Crowe walked away from it all when Julie, the woman who broke his heart, confronted him with their child—something he was well aware of, but from which he had been running away. Faced with the harsh reality of his actions and the ramifications they had on the world beyond his own feelings, he ran even farther away from responsibility. In telling the story to Annie, he says, “I couldn’t play any of those songs anymore, you know? After that, I just... I couldn’t play these insipid, self-pitying songs about Julie breaking my heart. You know, they were a joke. And before I know it, a couple of decades have gone by and some doctor hands me... hands me Jackson. I hold him, you know, and I look at him. And I know that this boy. . . is my last chance.”

When we first meet Crowe, he’s now dedicated his life to raising his youngest son, having at this point messed up with four previous children. The many facets of parenthood is something that shows up in Hawke’s later body of work many times, in projects as wholly different as Brooklyn’s Finest, Before Midnight, Boyhood, Maggie’s Plan, First Reformed, and even his novel A Bright Ray of Darkness. In each of these projects, decisions made by Hawke’s characters have a big impact on their children’s lives. These films explore the financial pressures of parenthood, the quirks of blended families, the impact of absent fathers, and even the tragedy of a father’s wishes acquiesced without question. Hawke’s take on parenthood is that of flawed men always striving to overcome the worst of themselves for the betterment of the next generation, often with mixed results. 

Where Juliet, Naked showed a potential arc of redemption for a father gone astray, First Reformed paints a bleaker portrait. Hawke plays Pastor Toller, a man of the cloth struggling with his own faith who attempts to counsel an environmental activist whose impending fatherhood has driven him to suicidal despair. Toller himself is struggling under the weight of fatherhood, believing he sent his own son to die a needless death in a morally bankrupt war. Sharing the story, he says “My father taught at VMI. I encouraged my son to enlist. It was the family tradition. Like his father, his grandfather. Patriotic tradition. My wife was very opposed. But he enlisted against her wishes. . . .  Six months later he was killed in Iraq. There was no moral justification for this conflict. My wife could not live with me after that. Who could blame her? I left the military. Reverend Jeffers at Abundant Life Church heard about my situation. They offered me a position at First Reformed. And here I am.” How do we carry the weight of actions that affect lives that are not even our own? 

If Peter Weir set the father figure template in Dead Poets Society, and Paul Schrader explored the consequences of direct parental influence on their children’s lives, director Richard Linklater subverts the idea of a mentor-guide in Boyhood, showing both parents are as lost as the kid himself. When young Mason (Ellar Coltrane) asks his dad (Hawke) what’s the point of everything, his reply is “I sure as shit don’t know. Nobody does. We’re all just winging it.” As the film ends, Mason sits atop a mountain with a new friend he’s made in the dorms discussing time. She says that everyone is always talking about seize the moment—carpe diem!—but she thinks it’s the other way around. That the moments seize us. In Reality Bites, Troy gets annoyed at Lelaina’s constant need to “memorex” everything with her camcorder, yet Boyhood is a film about capturing a life over a 12-year period. The Before Trilogy checks in on Jesse and Celine every nine years. Hawke’s entire career. in fact, has captured his growth from an awkward teen to a prolific artist and devoted father, a master of his craft and philosopher at heart. 

[deannaroxannewrites]

Tropetember Day 4 - Rockstar / Actor / Model / Famous AU

The future is unwritten

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x GN!Reader

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Rating: General Audiences

TW: Drinking/alcohol

AN: Day 4 of @tropetember. This has potential to be the start of a short series. Would anyone be interested in this playing out? (first date, meeting Jack, properly meeting the team, media finding out etc etc)

Life as an famous author can be lonely, but maybe a handsome stranger can turn your day around.

Find this story on Ao3 here.

Word Count: 1.5k

Staring into a glass of whisky never solved any problems, but at least it passed the time.

When you’d started writing your first book, you never could have imagined how exhausting a promotional tour was. You very rarely had time to yourself, spent weeks at a time on the road and constantly had to be on your best behaviour. Not that you were exactly badly behaved but anything more than a glass of wine or two with dinner had your publicist cutting you off to “protect you image”. No matter how many times you assured her that your audience of young adults would likely not be surprised by an author having a couple of drinks at the bar, until the end of the tour, you were cut off.

You really missed having total control of your life.

And so, like a teenager sneaking out past curfew, you had waited for Denise to go back to her room to bed, before slipping out of your hotel room and down to the bar.

When booking your hotel, the publishing company had been all set to book you into opulent rooms around the country but you had convinced them that that would make you easier to find. Instead, you were booked in a nice hotel with good facilities, the sort of place businessmen would be happy to stay and meet clients for a drink downstairs. Lots of dark wood and leather chairs and large glass windows.

You’d stationed yourself on a comfy stool at the end of the bar, taking advantage of the window to watch the rainy New York street outside. It also allowed you a convenient view of the lobby. The good people watching spot allowed you to notice when a group of well dressed, if slightly rumpled, people wandering in, exhaustion pulling at their features.

One of the men, a tall handsome individual with dark hair and a stern expression, broke off from the group after a quick discussion and headed in your direction. He quickly gained the attention of the server and ran off his order - lots of alcohol and one coffee - before propping himself against the bar next to you.

You took a moment to study him. Up close, you could see the laughter lines in his face and warmth of his chocolate brown eyes. You also clocked the gun on his hip under the very nice suit jacket he was wearing.

“I can hear you thinking” he says, the smooth deep baritone jolting you from you staring. Rather than being ashamed you just smile. Who are you to turn down a chance to chat with a good-looking stranger? It's nice to act like a normal person for a change.

“That coffee you ordered is definitely for you then” you state. That surprises a laugh out of him. It’s a rich, warm sound and you savour it. He doesn’t look like a man who laughs often.

“You would be correct,” he agrees. ”Do you often spend your time staring at strangers?”

You smile at that and concede “only the handsome ones”.

The tips of his ears redden slightly but he manages to control the rest of his micro expressions. In the meantime, you sip at your whiskey.

Desperate to continue the conversation, you observe "I'd normally ask if you were on a trip for business or leisure but I think we've covered that."

He hums in agreement, taking your invitation to continue. "How about you?"

You wave the whisky glass at him. “The trip is for business, this however, is for pleasure.” You give him a cheeky grin and then sigh. “I’m just looking forward to being back home in DC next week. I hate being this close and yet not able to sleep in my own bed.”

“I’m the same. DC seems to be one of those places everyone complains about living there when they’re there, but loves when they can’t make it.”

Working under your assumption that he’s FBI, you presume he must work out of Quantico. What a stroke of luck chatting to someone who won’t be far away when you return home? You take a moment to assess your options and take a leap of faith. He doesn’t seem to know who you are and you’re enjoying the attention.

“Anyone waiting for you back home?”

He smirks at your extremely unsubtle comment, before allowing “just my little boy. He stays with his Aunt when I’m gone.”

Sadly, the bartender has managed to finally round up all of the drinks for his team. He pays quickly and then gives you a contemplative look. He seems to decide you're not a creep or serial killer or whatever else, and reaches into his pocket, withdrawing his card.

“If you’re around tomorrow and want to get a drink? Work permitting obviously.”

You feel a smile break out on your face.

“I’d love to.” You pocket the card before reaching out your hand. ”I’m Y/N.”

“Aaron” he responds with a quick grin, taking your hand and shaking firmly. “Hopefully, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Have a good evening. Don’t work too hard.”

And with that, he collects his drinks tray which is fully loaded and heads back to his group. You catch a couple of surprised expressions out of the corner of your eye and, as you stand up to head back up to your room, you notice the older gentleman pat him on the back before they all settle into looking through files.

Huh, apparently picking up strangers in bars was a rare occurrence for him. You wouldn't have guessed. He seemed pretty in practice from how he was talking to you.

Now, best sneak back upstairs and get some sleep.

------

It was nearly 3pm, meaning you only had an hour left of book signing. Sadly there had been some sort of arrest made across the street though which had put a bit of a damper on the event, reducing the amount of foot traffic into the store.

From your vantage point, you could see FBI and police personnel wandering around and looking busy and had been reduced to people watching to pass the time. You were startled out of your daze by a familiar voice.

"When our tech analyst demanded I stop by to get a copy of your book autographed for her, I had assumed the name was a coincidence."

You cringe. Oops. Busted.

"Hi Aaron," you say meekly. It's only as you glance up that you see he's smiling that you relax a little.

"Aren't you supposed to be outside tidying up your mess?" You question, taking the book off him with one hand and waving your other at the street.

"I've done most of my work for now. As we're consulting, we are not responsible for tidying up."

You hum in acknowledgement before asking who the book is for and signing the copy with a personalised message. You've never been one to just sign and hand back. These people are supporting you, it's the least you can do.

"No drink tonight then? I assume you'll be back to DC?"

"Sadly."

You both glance at each other, trying to gauge what to do next. You're grateful he takes the plunge.

"We could do something when you're back in DC? I can be pretty busy with work and Jack, my son, is my priority but I can try to fit something in? If you want?"

It's an interesting thing, seeing a calm and confident man like Aaron turn into a rambling mess. You take it as a compliment.

"Of course. I understand having a busy life. One of the benefits to being a writer is setting my own schedule.” You glance around the shop. “When I'm not doing promotion obviously. We can make something work."

You're rewarded with a grin and it makes your heart flutter.

"The main question is, are you sure you want to? I'm not, like, mega famous, but it can be a lot sometimes."

He doesn't even stop to think before he answers.

"I'd regret it if I didn't. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. We take a step back. At the very least, I'd like to get know you"

That sentence settles your nerves. You're sure you look like a maniac with the smile that's currently plastered across your phase.

"Can I call you tonight? Since I can't make drinks?"

You nod, but notice there are a few people waiting to meet you. Sigh, best wrap it up for now.

"Of course, I'll text you and we can sort out a time."

He nods, also noticing your fans and, before he can lose his nerve, leans down to press a gentle kiss to your cheek.

You say your goodbyes and he heads back outside with book in hand, apparently impervious to the whispers.

And if your publicist comments that you don't stop smiling for the rest of the day? That's not really any of her business, is it?

[stomp-that-ho-regard]

Retcon

noun

(in a film, television series, or other fictional work) a piece of new information that imposes a different interpretation on previously described events, typically used to facilitate a dramatic plot shift or account for an inconsistency.

verb

revise (an aspect of a fictional work) retrospectively, typically by introducing a piece of new information that imposes a different interpretation on previously described events.

Retroactive Continuity

Reframing past events to serve a current plot need. [...] In its most basic form, this is any plot point that was not intended from the beginning. [...]

Post-hiatus C2, and the Great Retcon... 

(The retconning really started with the playlists, but we’ll come back to those.)

First, some context:

SDCC (July ‘18) - Marisha was asked directly about Beau and Yasha and if she and Ashley had discussed it. “After the first few times that I kinda put the moves on her, we were at break, and I could sense that Ashley was wanting to ask me something. And she was like, ‘Hey, I’m just curious... is Beau- ’ And at that exact moment someone’s like, ‘Yo Ashley! We gotta go! We gotta get on stage!’ And I was like, ‘Bye!’” Then Brian asked, “And you haven’t had a further conversation about it?” Marisha said, “Nope!”

(Seven months into the campaign, and no discussions. Hmm.)

NYCC (Oct. ‘18) - Marisha was asked about who would Beau get flustered over if they ever flirted back, and yes, she said Yasha and laughed, but then said, “It’s like throwing pebbles at a brick wall.” Meaning, she was putting stuff out there and not getting anything back. (And, she really wasn’t. I still remember when a major portion of the fandom, including the diehard shippers [of which I was one at the time], weren’t sure if Ashley was even interested in this. More than that, it wasn’t until the Zuala reveal, that the fandom and the players found out for certain that Yasha was actually into women.) 

(To me, Marisha’s answer here also suggests that at this point, there were still no discussions.)

Talks Machina for ep61 (May ‘19) - Marisha was asked ‘What was going through Beau's mind when Yasha revealed her past with Zuala? Has this changed any feelings Beau might have? Or has Beau's character growth allowed her to mature a little more with regards to her feelings about Yasha?’ Which Marisha instantly pegged as a shipping question. And she said, “I’m trying to figure out a way to answer this to not ruin everyone’s internal canon, in their brains. I don’t want people to overestimate Beau’s intentions towards Yasha. But then also, is that on me? Have I been leading everybody on?”

So, you had all of that, all the way up to ep61.

None of this indicates that ‘it’s been happening since ep1′ or that it’s ‘the slowest of slow burns.’ In fact, it shuts that down completely.

Moving forward to the Beau and Fjord convo (ep108)...

Marisha suddenly having Beau say “There was something about Yasha from the moment that I saw her”. She’s retrospectively attempting to give that moment more weight, when (based on the examples above) we know that the over-the-top flirting was just for fun. And truthfully, she really wasn’t flirting with Yasha any differently than she was flirting with any hot female NPC the party crossed paths with.

And now it’s clear that that one line she said is the reason why BY shippers have suddenly clung on to the idea that “It’s been happening since episode one! SLOooOowBuUuuUrn!!!!!” when its clear that it was not planned. (Not before the hiatus-from-hell, anyway.)

Then Marisha having Beau go from describing Jester as “She's fun. She makes me laugh. I like her ridiculous plans. I think she's complicated and layered.” to “It’s easy to lust after her”. I’ll direct you to Talks for ep85. After Marisha had mentioned that it was a bunch of little things that build, and then pinpointed a few of them, Brian tried to make a joke and said “So you’re saying it’s been more a series, than just one moment that you can point to and say ‘It was right here when I went, let’s fuck!’” Marisha specifically countered that with “It’s not even about 'let’s fuck’. It’s nothing sexual in this case.” (Having her backpedal on this so heavily was such a huge gut punch and was the thing that wholly soured everything for me.)

There were so many better, more delicate ways Marisha could’ve had Beau examine/come to grips with her feelings for both women, but all the reduction and saying they were ‘transferable’ was nothing short of insulting.

On that same Talks episode, Marisha also said this: “Going into this campaign all of us were like, ‘No relationships!’ I didn’t want it! I didn’t ask for this!”, while smiling. What this shows me is that she was thinking of a relationship in regards to Beau’s feelings for Jester. As if she was maybe even anticipating this culminating into something? Why even mention relationships at all if this was nothing serious and was always meant to fall by the wayside?

Brian then followed up with, “In my opinion, as a viewer, Beau’s someone who seems to be on the search for innocence. Whether innocence lost or just innocence in general. And to me it makes sense that you would be attracted to someone who exudes genuine and sort of intrinsic innocence.” Marisha replied with “Fairly astute.”

The next question was, ‘Beau has taken a pretty casual, no-strings-attached approach toward sex and relationships so far. How do her feelings for Jester compare to her previous romantic flings?’ Marisha answered immediately and very seriously with, “Noncomparable. It’s more than that.” She wasn’t playing coy and it didn’t take her a century to find the words. She didn’t even have to think about it. Succinct and direct.

How did all of that ‘organically’ disappear completely, after only 14 episodes?

(Everything felt more genuine back then, because it seemed like Marisha was going where the character was taking her, and not where she thought the character should be going.)

Post-hiatus, everyone and their mother are acting like BY is some epic romance-of-the-ages that was all mapped out, and like Beau having feelings for Jester was just some sort of temporary curveball. That Beau was confused, or was just missing Yasha and projected onto Jester. 

That’s really fucked up no matter how you try to justify it. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen another piece of media backpedal this hard, and this callously.

None of that squares with what we were shown or with what we were told. Until, everybody made a hard pivot and now they've done (and continue to) do everything they can to rewrite campaign history, even though we have plenty of footage that contradicts the new ‘company line’.

Now, where the retconning truly began, with the playlists...

Remember the first round of playlists? Those were released randomly, whenever the cast felt like posting them. I also don’t remember there being announcements every time one came out either.

This time though, they had a fixed schedule, complete with official twitter announcements. As they started to just get back into the swing of things, Yasha’s playlist was released right after the first episode back.

So, right out of the gate, they had to make sure they started to drill home a certain mindset for viewers. That’s why Yasha had a song called ‘Let Me Hold You’. (Lo and behold, a few episodes in, Beau randomly asks Yasha to hold her.)  A few weeks later, Beau’s playlist was released, and there was a song with the caption saying ‘Ultimately, all she really wants is someone to hold, and someone to hold her’. (But sure, no planning here! The wording is just a total coincidence, folks!)  

The other song, directly about Yasha, mentions ‘a crush forged in battle’ (ok), and ‘awkward flirtations’ (???). Yasha never openly flirted with Beau before the hiatus, until maybe right after the Obann arc, in a very vague way.

On Beau’s playlist, there’s nothing about Jester. The one track that mentions her is actually about Artagan. Which, after all they’ve been through together, is fucking ridiculous no matter how you slice it.

In addition to that, Marisha had made Beau’s time in Kamordah (ep92/e93), and the incidents with her family and the Hag, about the group now, not about Jester, fully contradicting her own reiterated words that ‘Jester saved Beau’.

When Beau was talking to her dad, reverting back to her old self and getting all riled up, Jester helped her in that moment, and saved her. Yes, the group was very supportive, and yes, Yasha said something to him before they left the house (that Beau was out of earshot for by the way), but Jester was Beau’s rock throughout that whole thing. 

With the Hag, when the group was having a hard time coming up with a solution, and they realized they might actually lose Beau, Jester stepped up and took control of the situation. She, single-handedly, saved Beau/the group from the Hag. And with that, Jester also became Beau’s hero.

In both instances, Marisha thanked Laura/Jester. First on Talks for ep92 with both of them on it. She reiterated, “You saved me. You saved Beau.” Then on Twitter after ep93 with, “Still processing last night. Saved by a cupcake? Eh - saved by @LauraBaileyVO ... again.” 

But now suddenly, it’s the group. Just the group? 

Now, don’t get me wrong. The entire party showing Beau support was incredibly important. The M9 showed her that they value her, that she’s important to them. It solidified the theme of ‘found family’, which was beautiful. But, to not also highlight how crucial Jester was in all of this, after making such a big deal about it? 

That is very deliberate retconning of some hugely important, highly emotional moments for Beau that directly involved Jester.

Any of Beau’s organic and genuine connection with Jester (which encompasses their deep friendship as well as Beau’s romantic feelings) has been massively reduced (and now erased), specifically to prop up a supposed ‘deep’ connection with someone else that was barely ever there, is still barely there, and has no actual depth at all.

Case in point, the BY date (ep126) showcased this fact to the most extreme degree...

Yasha’s infamous line: “I fell in love with you in Kamordah.” So, Yasha literally watched Beau relive her childhood trauma, and caught feelings during it. I’m not wrong in thinking that that’s just a little disturbing, am I? Also, if that’s the moment she supposedly fell for her, why did she not offer her any form of help? I mean, besides that one sweet moment with TJ, the entire time Beau was in Kamordah, she was the most broken down she’d ever been and needed some real comfort, which is something Yasha did not give her. (Jester did though. In spades.)

So, on multiple levels, this seems highly out-of-place. 

Several people have said that that line was not thought through. In my opinion, it actually was thought through and was only said specifically to have viewers completely dismiss everything else that happened in the Kamordah episodes. Despite the FACT that Beau and Yasha barely interacted during those episodes, they have now stripped down the party’s experience there, and twisted it into a giant BY shipping moment. (Further feeding into the retcon.)

Their ‘trip down memory lane’ was laughable. Most of the things that were mentioned, Yasha wasn’t even around for. 

Gee, remember when the cast was actually good at separating what they knew from what their character knew? When you start injecting what you know into your character (who isn’t supposed to know, because they literally were not physically there), you are metagaming. 

The entire date was one big metagaming bonanza. And it had to be, or else they would’ve had nothing to talk about. There is not one thing they have to call their own. To people who don’t have BY tunnel vision, it was made glaringly obvious that they have nothing in common and their dynamic is fairly shallow. Meanwhile, the rest of the cast are sitting there watching this unfold, smiling and nodding along as if it all makes perfect sense and isn’t utterly ridiculous. (And I’m sitting here wondering when I got shunted into the Twilight Zone.)

The shallowness holds true for FJ as well. Aside from both of them being from the Menagerie Coast, what exactly do they have in common?

While Fjord has grown as a character, as far as Jester goes, he still does not seem to have the capacity to fully understand her as a person, or fully respect her abilities/emotional strength/intelligence. He doubted her often, which led to Jester getting irritated with him several times over the course of at least the last third of the pre-hiatus episodes. He even continued to doubt her judgment (in regards to the Traveler) in the post-hiatus Rumblecusp episodes. But hey, they’ve kissed now (ep118) so all of that gets wiped clean, and he’s being touted as her ultimate romantic soulmate who’s oh-so-perfect for her.

For fuck’s sake, why does that sound like something pulled right out of a CW show?

(I'm convinced that the only reason FJ is ‘popular’ is because the shippers have projected Travis and Laura’s real-life marriage onto the characters. If Fjord and Jester were played by different people, or Travis and Laura were not together, people would realize how paper-thin and half-assed this pairing is and hardly anyone would care about it.) 

Beau and Jester had developed the deepest, most genuine friendship and overall dynamic in the entire party, that should have absolutely been given the chance to be explored further. They constructed a pretty solid foundation that could have easily been built upon, and the fact that it’s been unceremoniously pulverized and snuffed out in favor of such overwhelming tepidity and flavorlessness will never not infuriate me.

Finally, to finish this off, I will say with my whole chest, that that is one of many nasty, rotten patterns that I’ve seen far too much of in all kinds of scripted media, which is...

Not wanting to commit to the thing that’s actually growing organically, because it’ll ruffle too many feathers. It’s too inconvenient. It gets in the way. Because of course, nobody wants to do that. Nobody wants to take a risk, or you know, actually follow where the natural fucking chemistry is taking you. Of course not! Heaven forbid, we go down a different road! You have to go with what’s ‘expected’, no matter what, at the great expense of something new that’s come along that’s clearly better. Even when what’s expected is hollow as fuck and doesn’t make sense anymore, because characters have grown and dynamics have changed, they decide to dig their heels in with the most fanservice-y options instead.

Yet this is UNSCRIPTED media. A D&D campaign, that’s supposed to be mostly improvised. D&D, that’s all about taking chances/going with your gut/making bold choices/etc., from people who have claimed up and down that they “like to see things play out at the table”.

So why are those same disingenuous patterns being utilized here too?

One of the big reasons I got into CR was because I naively believed that because the format was different, that the storytelling would be different. I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about running into this nonsense here. That I wouldn’t have to worry about getting bullshitted, jerked around, and having my intelligence insulted left and right, but alas, here we are.

In conclusion...  [TL;DR, kinda?]

Reframing past events (between B & J, and B & Y) to serve a current plot need (railroading BY):                                                                                      

Beau playlist ignores Jester’s importance to what transpired in Kamordah. (minimizing/erasure)

Beau playlist doesn’t acknowledge/hint at Beau’s feelings for Jester. (total erasure. could have at least included a song about feelings being lost, or being confused about feelings for a friend, but Marisha took the cowardly route, and didn’t bother mentioning it at all.)

Beau playlist claims that Beau and Yasha have both been flirting forever. (easily debunked by session footage.)

In her conversation with Fjord, Beau says, “There was something about Yasha from the moment I saw her”. (it was just about hooking up then, and stayed that way for a majority of the campaign. This line suggests that Beau has had ‘deeper feelings’ for and/or has been ‘in love’ with Yasha since the first episode, that this was all intentional build-up, which again, is easily debunked by session footage, panels, and TM.)

In her conversation with Fjord, Beau says, “It’s easy to lust after her.” (minimizing/erasure/twisting of Beau’s feelings for Jester, which Marisha had previously stated were ‘noncomparable’ , ‘more than that’, and that her attraction is ‘nothing sexual in this case.’)

This isn’t a fucking conspiracy theory. This is plain evidence of a planned retcon.

[arielana]

Yeah, I don’t know what this is. It came from the tiny RNM teaser in TV insider - I was grumpy that basically all the info we got was about Liz’s lab partners abs (not that grumpy, but you know).

Anyway, I wrote this, about Liz and Michael bonding. Just really silly. 

A warning that there is drinking.

____

“Michael!”

“Ortecho, seriously why are you calling me at this hour?”

“I need you to take some time off. Come to California.”

“Sure thing, I’ll pack my little overnight bag and swing right by. I’ve been dying to do some sightseeing.”

“Yeah yeah, funny. I don’t have time for all that. Look I’ve discovered something, here in the lab, that might be relevant to your interests. I can’t get a sample out, but if an old friend from Roswell comes to visit I could give them a tour of the lab. So, just get your ass over here.”

***

That had been two days ago. Michael had some work he’d promised Sanders to finish first and he refused to fly (the thought of airport security freaked him out) so he’d set off in his truck after finishing up at Sanders the next day. He’d driven through the night, arrived very early in the morning and checked into a motel Liz had recommended that was close to her work.

After getting some sleep and showering he was now standing in the fancy lobby of the Genoryx building, feeling slightly overwhelmed but doing his best not to show it. His cowboy swagger usually worked in most places so he figured it would do ok here as well. 

Just to test it, he leaned slightly against the counter and threw the receptionist who had told him Liz would be right down a little smile. Judging by the way she blushed, he wouldn’t do too bad here either if he felt like it. Not that he did feel like it. There was really only one person’s company he wanted and since that wasn’t available to him currently, he focused on other things.

“Mikey!”

Liz came bouncing down the stairs, running straight up and jumping into his arms to hug him.

She had a certain energy that always put Michael in a better mood, even the times when she annoyed him. There was never any bullshit with her. 

“Hey Ortecho,” he grinned. “Good to see you.” 

“Good to see you too. Would have been even better if you got here sooner,” she bumped her shoulder lightly into his when he put her down, “but it’s great that you’re here.”

Before Michael could ask what all the fuss was about, he noticed a guy had followed Liz and was now hanging back, waiting to be introduced.

Noticing Michael’s look, Liz spun around, waving the guy forward. 

“Heath, come meet Michael. Michael, meet Heath. He’s my colleague from the lab. We do all our work together.”

Michael thought he picked up a little something in the way Heath looked when Liz said “colleague”, but he wasn’t sure. He was a good looking guy, tall, athletic, not the stereotypical scientist. Not that Michael cared much for stereotypes, so he shouldn’t apply them to others either, he reminded himself. 

“So, we’re just about to go out for lunch,” Liz said. “Do you mind if Heath joins us?”

“Of course not.” 

Michael was pleasantly surprised by how fun and relaxed lunch was. Small talk had never really been his thing, but science small talk was a whole other thing he realised. That’s why he had enjoyed hanging out with Liz back in Roswell, and Heath, despite looking more like an actor or model, turned out to absolutely be able to hold his own in the discussion.

After lunch things didn’t go quite as Liz had planned though. Her boss was apparently giving some other people a tour that afternoon and even if he kindly offered Michael to join them as well, Liz quickly switched gears.

“Actually Michael was yawning his way through lunch,” she ignored Michael’s little huff. “He pretends he’s fine but he’s had a long drive. He’s staying for a couple of days anyway, there’s no rush.”

She grabbed Michael’s arm firmly and dragged him towards the exit. 

“Really Liz, I was planning on going back home tomorrow,” Michael complained, without putting any real force behind it. “This isn't really my scene.”

“Oh knock it off, Michael. You were practically beaming at lunch, don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy yourself. And look, it’s just one more day. Tomorrow’s Friday so there’ll be less people around. We’ll do a tour in the afternoon. I’ll make up something to keep Heath busy, won’t be a problem.”

“So for today,” she continued, “how about you get some more sleep, and then we can go out tonight, eat something, have a few drinks. Maybe some dancing,” she winked at him.

“Drinks yes, dancing no, but sure, I don¨t mind checking out the bars here.” Michael gave Liz a considering look. “So tell me, is Heath coming?”

“What, no, why would he?”

Aha, judging by the brief flush of red on her cheeks, there was definitely something going on there, Michael noticed. Maybe something to explore later. He could be a good brother and try to get some more information. Max was certainly asking enough questions about him and Alex, looking at Michael with those big puppy eyes, acting hurt when Michael snapped at him. This could be payback (helping Max out, Michael corrected himself).

**

Dinner continued in the same way as lunch, with them geeking out about new research and theories (careful to steer clear of any alien references while in public) covering everything from global warming to medical advances.

Afterwards they continued on to a bar and after a couple of drinks Michael figured Liz had let down her guard enough for him to do some digging.

“So, Ortecho… tell me about Heath?”

“What?” Liz said with feigned innocence.

“Just wondering, I mean he’s really fit, dark hair, smart, funny, exactly what I look for, in both men and women,” he winked at her.

“Michael!” Liz sounded scandalized

“Unless he’s taken, of course”

Liz twisted uncomfortably in her seat. “It feels weird talking to you about this.”

“Why?” Michael smirked at her, raising his eyebrows. He enjoyed this. He never really got to have a bro moment with anyone growing up. Too busy not letting anyone come too close. But Liz, she got it, she was the same as him in so many ways. 

“Hey. no judgement here. Tell me, is he really as jacked as he looks?”

Liz sighed deeply, before giving up and leaning back with a dreamy expression on her face.

“He really is. Seriously, his abs are amazing. Not that that kind of thing is really important to me of course,” she hurried to add, “but it’s just- nice.”

“So, Valenti,” Michael pulled a face,” Diego, this Heath guy. I see you also prefer dark hair but other than that I really don’t see that many similarities to Max?”

“You know,” Liz took a sip from her drink, clearly deflecting, “from the stories I heard about you before, you know, everything,” she waved her hands vaguely, “I was under the impression it was mainly blondes that you were dragging home from the Pony?”

Michael shrugged. “That was just sex. But then again,” he added consideringly, “I’ve only ever been in two relationships. So they were both dark haired, but that’s not enough to draw a conclusion based on statistics, maybe it’s just coincidence.”

 Liz's gaze sharpened. “Relationships, huh?”

It was Michael's turn to try to deflect. ’Hey, see if you can flag down the waitress, I need another beer.”

“In a minute.” Liz tilted her head questioningly, “I wasn’t aware you considered what you had with Alex an actual relationship?”

Michael hesitated. He knew Liz could probably read him like an open book right now, but he also knew that if he said he didn't want to get into it she’d respect that and let it go. For now at least.

But he’d said more than once that he was tired of keeping secrets. Liz was a friend and it would actually be nice to talk to someone.

“If we’re really going to talk about this I’m going to need another drink.”

“Me too,” Liz thought about it for a second. “Tequila?”

“Tequila.”

**

An hour later they were both just giggly messes.

Michael had shared his and Alex's story over the years, Liz had opened up about the shock of seeing Max again and they had bonded over how no amount of distance or years really made the feelings go away. It had been very emotional once the tequila kicked in. They had both shed some tears and comforted each other. 

At this point in the evening however, they had gone full circle and were back to discussing abs again and both blushing.

“Maybe we should just tell them,” Liz said.

“Yeah, they’d hate that. You’re safe here, but I have to go back. If Alex doesn’t get to me first and give me the ‘Guerin, you’re such a disappointment’ look, Max will give me a lecture about ‘upholding personal boundaries, Michael’. Both a total pain in the ass.”

“Ok, let’s take a selfie and send as well then. If they see our sweet faces they can’t be mad.”

“Ortecho, I think you dropped your logic somewhere on the way here.”

“Come on, you said the two of you are at a stalemate right? Since Alex broke up with Forrest?”

Michael made a face.

“This will give things a nudge,” Liz said. “Plus it’s sent from my phone so you can deny all knowledge of it.”

“Have you met Alex?”

Liz just waved her phone at him. Michael swallowed.

He wasn’t drunk enough not to know that this maybe wasn't the smartest idea, but it was kind of tempting anyway. Just to see how Alex would react.

“Yay,” Liz pulled him in for a selfie, instructing him to make his best puppy eyes before adding the text to the picture and pressing send.

Just so you know, you both have really good abs as well. We love your abs very much. Xoxo, Liz and Mikey

It took no time at all before both their phones started buzzing with an incoming call.

[aalissy]

Text Messages

Another day done!! And this chapter got away from me just a lilll bitt hehe. I didn’t intend to include a reveal but there’s one nowww haha. Anywho, I hope you like this chapter. However, please do NOT read it unless you’ve seen Gang of Secrets. It definitely has spoilers for that episode!! Also, if you haven’t seen it please go watch it!! It’s my fave s4 episode rn <3

AO3

Marinette groaned, throwing a hand over her eyes as her phone buzzed repeatedly next to her. She had an extremely long day yesterday. Dealing with her duties as Ladybug and trying to keep her friends happy was absolutely exhausting. Shaking her head furiously, she attempted to wake up. 

Rather groggily, she groped around for the phone next to her. With a breath of relief when she finally grabbed it, Marinette opened up her messaging app. Certain that it was just Alya asking how she was after the bomb she had just dropped on her yesterday, she was mid-way through typing a reply to her best friend when she glanced at the contact name. Squeaking in surprise, Marinette dropped her phone on her bed. 

Hesitantly, she picked it back up, checking to see if it really was the same message as before. Surely she must have just been tired and was imagining everything. When she did double-check, though, Adrien’s name continued to blink up at her. With a quiet gulp, she read his message.

Adrien: Hey Marinette! I just wanted to check up on you after the akuma attack yesterday. It seems like you’ve been going through a lot lately and I just wanted to let you know that I’m always here if you need me 😸.

Choking slightly, Marinette skimmed the message again. Adrien had noticed her! Or, at least he noticed how stressed out she had been lately. Her heart gave a fierce tug as a small smile twitched at her lips for the first time in forever. Quickly, she shook her head at herself. No! There was absolutely no time for love or boys or even friends! Yesterday proved that. 

Sniffling quietly, Marinette’s eyes slid over to her new hiding place for the miracle box. Sucking in a deep breath as she once again felt tears brim in her eyes, she quickly finished typing the message she had been going to send to Alya.

Marinette: yep! totally fine! no worries here 😊

Taking the heel of her palm, she fiercely dragged them over her red-rimmed eyes. She had no time for tears either. Who knew when Hawkmoth would be sending the next akuma?

Assuming that would be the end of the conversation, she dropped her phone back onto her bedsheet, hugging her knees to her chest. Slowly, Marinette’s eyes fluttered closed as she tried to calm down. She felt Tikki and some of the other kwamis come around to hug her cheek. A wide smile stretched across her lips as she cuddled them to her delicately. Opening her eyes, she whispered, “Thank you.”

Her phone buzzed once again and she blinked down in confusion at it. Could this be the message she had expected from Alya? With a small frown creasing her brow, she opened the text.

Adrien: You know, I have a friend who acts the exact same way. I don’t think I believe either of you though.

Adrien: It’s alright not to be okay, Marinette. Especially after a day like yesterday and if you don’t want to talk about it, we can always talk about something else? 

Adrien: You need to know that there are people who care about you 😊

A shaky, happy sob escaped her before she could stop it. Her hand wobbled slightly as Marinette covered her mouth. Rereading his text message, her stomach filled with butterflies. This was exactly why she fell in love with him. His unwavering kindness and support made her feel like she was the greatest person on Earth.

“Thank you, Adrien. I really needed that,” she whispered. With trembling fingers, she typed a reply to him. Biting her lip to contain her smile, Marinette fell back onto her bed. 

Marinette: ty adrien and if its alright with you can we maybe not talk about it? how was your weekend

Adrien: I had a pretty good weekend! I got to see a movie and I went to the pool! 

Trying to brush aside the wave of familiarity that hit her upon reading his text, she shifted slightly on her bed. Nibbling her lip, she debated whether or not she should text him her next question. Waving a hand in the air, she decided that she was just being paranoid. After all, there was no way. 

Marinette: that sounds awesome! what movie did you go see?

Adrien: Oh, I went to go see the new romantic comedy that came out! 

A choked gasp escaped Marinette as she read that text. It had to be a coincidence! Maybe he went with Kagami or by himself. Gnawing on her lip, she hesitated before sending her next text. She needed to know...

Marinette: really? it looked pretty cheesy to me but did you guys like it at least?

She held her breath as she awaited his next message. Her heart thudded loudly in her ears. This could be the start of everything.

Adrien: Well, honestly, I didn’t get to see much of it haha 😅

Adrien: The girl I went with thought it was cheesy too

Immediately, she dropped the phone, scrambling away from it to suck in a deep breath of air. Letting out a startled scream, her eyes darted to Tikki, pleading with kwami. Nervously, she stuttered, “W-what a-am I supposed to do? I-I d-don’t...”

Trailing off, her kwami gave her a soft, sweet smile. “It’s up to you, Marinette. You’re the guardian now. You make the rules. Just like you did with Alya.”

Her head bobbed up and down before a determined glint shined in her eyes. That’s right! She was the guardian now and she had no plans of taking either her or Adrien’s miraculous away. Besides, having two people she could trust her entire life with was worth any potential fear and anxiety. Picking up her phone, Marinette dialed his number, tapping her fingers against her arm impatiently. 

As soon as Adrien picked up, she spoke quickly, rushing through her words, “The girl you were with when you went to go see the movie, did you guys leave to go swimming right afterward?”

“W-what?” Adrien stuttered and she could practically see his green eyes open wide with shock, “Marinette, what are you talking about?”

With a deep, calming breath, she slowed down. “After you guys left the movie theatre, you went swimming didn’t you?” 

“Well, yeah, I guess we did. But, Marinette, how do you know that?” He spoke with confusion clear in his voice.

She giggled lightly, feeling light and safe for the first time in ages. It was him. It’s been him this whole time. Quietly, Marinette murmured, “Because it was me that you went swimming with, silly kitty.”

“No, I didn’t go with you. I went with...” Adrien trailed off. A slow smile twitched at her lips as she imagined him connecting the dots just like she had. Hesitatingly, he asked, “W-what did you just call me?”

Marinette hummed lightly, a small smirk on her lips. “I said silly kitty. Or am I only supposed to call you that when we’re in costume.”

A thud came from the receiver and she frowned in confusion. After sitting for a few more moments in silence, Marinette murmured, “H-hello?”

No response came from her phone and she nibbled on her bottom lip. Did the wifi fail or did he hang up on her? Pulling the phone away from her ear, she saw that they were still connected. With a quiet sigh, she hung up the call. Just as she was about to call back, a loud, insistent knocking came from the trapdoor above her bed. 

Screaming in shock, Marinette stared up at the hatch in concern. Slowly, she opened it, squeaking once again when Chat Noir fell rather ungracefully onto her bed. Frowning, she muttered, “Chat Noir?”

In a second, she was wrapped up in a tight embrace. Her eyes widened before she threw her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder. A bright grin bloomed across her face as she giggled. If she had any doubts before that he wasn’t Adrien, they were absolutely gone now. Suddenly, so much made sense now.

Pulling back slowly, Marinette stared up into his shimmering, green eyes. With a light chuckle, she asked, “Did you really just drop everything to come over?”

“What did you expect me to do?” Chat’s arms waved exasperatedly in the air. “You can’t just drop a bombshell on me like that and then not expect me to want to see you. Did you really have to do it over the phone?”

Marinette threw her head back as she laughed loudly. “Well, you revealed yourself over text! I didn’t want to just drop everything and slam into your bedroom window as Ladybug.”

A bright blush lit up his face before he ducked his head down shyly. Almost silent, he muttered, “You could have done that, you know. I wouldn’t have minded.”

Now it was her turn to flush deeply. A few scattered daydreams of doing just that with a few kisses intermixed filled her thoughts. Shaking her head, she cast those dreams aside and focused on the superhero that was still in her bedroom. Giving him an adoring smile, she playfully pushed his nose back. “I’m sure you wouldn’t have.”

He looked at her so softly and it was so reminiscent of Adrien that Marinette had no idea how she hadn’t figured it out sooner. Carefully, he reached out to take her hand and gave it a soft squeeze. “How are you doing with being the Guardian, then? I know how hard your day was yesterday.”

Tears brimmed in her eyes again before she threw herself back into his arms. “Better now that you’re here. It’s been so hard!” she murmured.

He hugged her back tightly, whispering, “I’ll always be here, Marinette.”

“I know, Adrien. I know,” she squeezed him back with a quiet whisper, “Thank you.”

“Always, Marinette. Always.”

She sunk into his embrace, letting her worries melt away for a few minutes. There’d be plenty of time to talk, freak out, and strategize later. Right now, she just needed this.

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: January 5th, 2021

How exactly can we get the option to gift cove a bracelet at the start of step 3? I really only get that option with having a ponytail-black shirt-black pants-no accessories cove but i dont know the specific requirements for the option to show up

Cove’s gotta wear a bracelet in Step 2. If he doesn’t it means him liking bracelets isn’t a very long-standing trait and so the MC wouldn’t think to get him one as a gift.

I am very sorry if this was asked before but I have noticed "Our Life: Beginnings and Always" and "Our Like: Now and Forever." Did I miss something? Is "N&F" going to be a sequel or DLC? Are we going to see a geriatric Cove? (haha) Thank you in advance for the reply. ^_^ 

Our Life: Now & Forever is a new game in the franchise, but it’s not a sequel. It’ll have a new cast, new story, and new setting. It will still have all the best features of the original game and be about creating your own character/growing up from childhood!

Is there a specific reason why Cove gets so flustered and has to jump out if bed and walk it off when they share a bed in step 3? It seems a bit over the top for something they've already done twice! Once with the late night visit when Cove finds out his mom is coming and once in the RV.

Is just because they are older and the implications are different, even though the crush was already there in the RV/latenight visit scenes? Or did I miss something that made Cove more reluctant or more apprehensive towards sharing a bed/touching?

Sharing a bed with the person he likes/love is different for him at eighteen than it is at thirteen. Some things get easier when you grow up, like he’s more comfortable sharing food, but some things get harder/more complicated to him. Sharing a bed is one of those for Cove. It feels a lot more intimate and meaningful as time goes on, rather than less of a big deal.

Hello! First, I wanted to thank you and congratulate you for this amazing game. I enjoyed every single second! In a year full of stress, this was a little cozy light. Do you have any plans to make it available for other languages? Thank you again 💕 

Thank you! I’m afraid the game is still in pretty active development so we can’t consider translating the script in it’s semi-incomplete form. And we’re not a big enough company that we can promise translations will definitely come when the game is done, unfortunately. We can see what things are like when all the words are truly set, though.

Did Cove's name come from that Cove restaurant on Holden beach? Whenever I search up his name I always get those results haha 

No, haha. His first name was based on his character and the game’s theme, his last name is a reference to something of a personal joke.

Will the NSFW DLC have CGs too?

Yep!

So, to start off, I need to thank you guys, from the bottom of my heart, for creating Cove Holden. I want every single one of my MCs to be able to get engaged and married to that precious angel, so I was wondering how transitioning into step 4 using save files will work? Will I be able to load up a save file saved right before the end credits after step 3, or will I need to load one from before the transition section after step 3? I’m sorry if this has already been answered somewhere, but if it has, I haven’t been able to find it. Thank you!!!!!! 

Thank you very much c:. You’ll be able to load any save file, unless it was taken as the credits were actually rolling, and the Step 4 epilogue will simply start going once you’ve played through whatever was left of the main game and seen the credits. There are rare cases where a save file breaks between updates, but generally continuing where you left off should work for people.

Hi! I absolutely adore our life, and I was wondering is there a way to have Shiloh remember the MC and Lizzie in step 3?

I’m glad you like it! Sadly, no matter what you do Shiloh will act the same in that scene.

Hi! I'm the Australian that asked about ever including an Aussie VA, do you have any future plans for Our Life 2 or any other games to include an Aussie character and VA? 

Right now we don’t have any guaranteed future Aussie roles. But we don’t have fully developed character lists for our upcoming games yet, so that may still change.

Will OL2 also follow the tradition of "Blonde Adult That We Cannot Date"? 👀

Haha, maybe. There isn’t one right now, however we still have a lot of side characters to plan.

Hey, are the houses in the game furnished based on items in the Sims 4? I’ve noticed some similarities, but I’m not sure if it’s just a coincidence. (If it is, that’d make me building it in TS4 MUCH easier...)

For me, I use real world pictures as references as well as text notes. I loved Sims 2 when I was young but haven’t gotten into a new Sims game since. I don’t believe the artist checks Sims 4 when creating their work, though it’s not impossible. Maybe they do.

is it possible to still get your name in the voiced dlc [I'm not sure how you would do it, is it from patreon ??] or is it too late ?? 

Currently there’s no way to get your name voiced. But we are looking into opening up a method for that one more time later this year. You can keep an eye out for that!

Will we be able to ask Derek out to the dance if we get his DLC? Not a Derek fan but I'm planning to surprise my friend with this 

Yeah. Taking Derek to the dance is part of his DLC.

Hi! I have a question I've been curious about, if you're comfortable with answering! If Cove and the MC remain just friends into Step 4/MC dates one of the other guys, will Cove canonically be in a relationship with/interested in somebody else at that point or shortly after? Thank you!

He won’t. There’s not really anyone in his school, and certainly not the neighborhood he grows up in, that he’d be into other than the MC. As a pretty newly independent adult he hasn’t had enough time to truly find a special someone in Step 4. It takes a while for him to make that kind of move, haha. It’s totally fine to headcanon that sometime after Step 4 he finds love with someone else, but it won’t happen in-game.

i just wanted to share this cute little playlist that i made about cove! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5wM7GNiJh5eRqhvLBperfQ?si=4FocdBsNTpeF053yOwaLSA

Cool! Thanks for sharing it with us.

No, no, no create longer ask answers please. 😌

The ask answers are not too long. If anything I'm greedy and wish they were longer... I'm already subbed to your guys patreon and I still can't get enough 👀 I'm in love with you guys 

Will you post more of those long form ask posts? I love them 🥰

Haha, thank you for these messages. I’m glad you’re enjoying the content.

——————————————————————

Thank you very much for all the questions! Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[pinkjiminssi]

So.. About That Hickey..

I think I’m still processing all of this and reminding myself I’m not dreaming 🤣 I seriously only got 3 hours of sleep last night and when I woke up the first thing I did was check twitter to be sure this “drunk bridal-style spinning hickey neck biting proudly showing off” moment actually happened!! 

.. I hate the way my brain works though. I was so happy that it took me forever to fall asleep, spent all day on cloud 9 despite being tired, .. and then my old nemesis, anxiety, stepped in. Well kind of. TBH if all of the MOTS ON:E Jikook moments we got happened with Jimin/anyone else or Jungkook/anyone else.. I would seriously be sitting here saying “well fuck.. I believe they WERE a couple, but looking at all of this it seems they are no longer together.” So really, this just confirmed what I already knew about Jimin and Jungkook: they’re a couple. My anxiety is over.. why? Why show us this? If they can cover all of JK’s tattoos, a hickey/bite mark/whatever we’re calling it should be super easy to hide. Sure it was just rehearsal.. but it was rehearsal with cameras rolling with every intention of releasing what was being filmed as future content. It could have (and some might argue should have) been covered.

Guys... I’m confused. And concerned. ��❗❗ TW for drama, hate, homophobia, the usual anti issues

That “official” explanation.. again.. why? I’m assuming Jimin and Jungkook were asked and allowed to explain because of the chance of it being spotted and armys freaking out, so BH (or possibly even Jikook) thought to get ahead of the speculation by just being up front about it all.. but THAT explanation? I suppose it works for covering up the army panic of “Jungkook has a girlfriend?! *insert fangirl sobbing*” .. but that’s literally all it does (and only barely if you go looking at some of the anti’s reactions to it all). Really, all it did was draw even more attention and speculation. I mean.. this is, essentially, what we were told: Jimin and Jungkook were together the night before drinking, apparently without the other members as they didn’t seem to know all of this already (and they would have if they had been there), somehow hanging out and having drinks turns into Jungkook picking Jimin up bridal style (random but some of the k-army reactions on twitter were translating through google into “princess style” and I just think that’s so cute 🥰), spinning ensues, Jimin gets dizzy and wants Jungkook to put him down, ... and so he proceeds to do the only logical thing that any of us would have done in that situation... biting Jungkook’s neck? And hard enough to leave a mark the next day?? And instead of being peeved about it (like most of us would have been if our friend bit the crap out of us), Jungkook looks happy?? proud even??? 

And they arrived together the next day and continue to be cute and playful? 

I just.. I mean.. come on. First of all.. that’s a hickey. A bite leaves teeth marks. And one would assume a wild, drunken “let me down” chomp would be something that happens suddenly and ends very quickly. I know I for sure would drop someone on their ass if they decided to take a bite out of my neck (assuming I was even picking up and spinning around with one of my friends like that to begin with.. but let’s not even get into why that was going on at this point) .. but the way this bruised? Yeah. There were no teeth involved (at least not hard enough to leave indentations) and this took more than a couple of seconds of mouth-to-neck contact to still be that visible the next day. So.. in short. Jungkook arrives with a hickey, JK decides to not cover it up (or he would have shown up with it hidden and we see him get out of the car that morning with it clearly visible), BH staff sees it and also decides to not have it covered up and actually have it explained... and the explanation is “oh yeah Jimin just bit him, you know.. no big deal hehehe isn’t that funny?” 🤯 WHAT?! Yeah.. that’s totally normal, platonic behavior between adults...

I’m not saying Jimin and Jungkook are lying btw. I have no doubt it played out more or less exactly as they said with the exception of what they’re calling the end result. Jimin and Jungkook are fine.. I mean, what were they supposed to say? They’re not going to show up saying Jimin was sucking on Jungkook’s neck the night before. We’ll probably never know why Jungkook decided to not cover it up before arriving, but it’s his body and he gets to decide. It’s BH that has me so puzzled. Other than antis and people who refuse to see what’s literally right in front of their faces when it comes to Jikook.. who were BH expecting to believe the bite thing? Just among staff and the other members, it’s a laughable but safe “oh of course *wink wink*” explanation that allows everyone to carry on like normal. But to the public who don’t know them personally, don’t know their usual behavior and patterns, and who don’t have something like a non-disclosure agreement or professional courtesy preventing them from openly speculating.. it doesn’t fly. Pretty much everyone teen and up knows what a hickey looks like (either from having gotten/given one or at least seeing one on someone else in person or online). It’s immediately obvious what it is. And even if there was some uncertainty.. that it’s on his neck (instead of other easily accessible and less sensitive/stimulating locations) and just so happens to be right near his mole as it Jimin were aiming for it? Just another “too many coincidences” thing when it comes to Jikook.

Even antis on twitter couldn’t deny what it was and, so, had to resort to the “well I do that with my sibling and my uncle’s pet raccoon all the time it’s just family things” excuse and/or the “yeah well someone ELSE in the group (or a girlfriend) gave him that and they’re just covering by saying it was Jimin.” Oh. And the same old “it’s just fan service” excuse (as if Jungkook would let someone bruise his neck for the purposes of fanservice which, again, BTS has never done or needed to do. Forever pissed off that so many in this fandom act like Jungkook is a puppet doing whatever the “evil company” tells him to do regardless of his personal feelings or boundaries. The man has tattoos covering nearly every inch of his arm despite that being looked down on in Korea. At this point he can do whatever the fuck he wants). So.. why?? Seriously, why? This all could have easily been avoided with simple makeup.

When they’re doing official content they’re all literally followed around by a flurry of staff fixing hair, dabbing sweat, touching up makeup, etc. Even though it was rehearsal, staff were everywhere in the footage that’s made its way online. If they were worried that it would be seen in the background and “taken the wrong way,” just have the staff occasionally touch up the makeup. “Easy peasy lemon squeezy.” But instead of doing the obvious, BH decides to: not cover it, draw attention to it by asking about it and letting them continue to talk about it, go out of their way to get a camera on it, and then include it in the final cut of the content they sent out?

BTS is literally the most popular group in the world right now and BH has become a behemoth of a company that runs like a well-oiled machine. They’re not stupid; this was not a mistake. For some reason they wanted us to see this and, one would assume based on the lack of a more believable explanation, they wanted us to come to the conclusion that we all have: Jimin gave Jungkook a hickey. You know they have teams dedicated to monitoring reactions to content on social media. You know they know the dialog surrounding Rosebowl, Black Swan MMA, the Memories 2020 “almost kiss,” etc. etc. All of this got “jikook,” “hickey” and variations of their names trending for HOURS (in multiple countries and worldwide). 

Out of curiosity, I decided to check the trends at the time of writing this. As of 3 AM CST (about 24 hours AFTER the clips started showing up online), there was still a hashtag trending related to all of this: #FREEJUNGKOOK.. and the tweets being directed toward BH are.. disturbing to say the least:

While I agree that the boys should trend more often based on their talents and music.. what’s going on right now is a homophobic 💩 show accusing BH of “scripting” interactions (rather than.. you know.. Jungkook interacting with whoever he wants however he wants.. the usual “mindless puppet JK” narrative), trying to coordinate the mass sending of angry emails, trying to get people to stop buying paid content, accusing BH of taking advantage of the members.. I mean it goes on and on. And BH know what’s going on right now. They’re seeing the reactions... the good and the extremely negative. And still they let this out. And this is all not even CONSIDERING the mountain of other moments that made the cut on MOTS ON:E. 

(side note, the above pic just oozes happiness and it’s so cute I love it!! 😭)

So.. even though I’ve said it dozens of times already... WHY? W H Y? I’m an anxious person by nature and not very trusting. I believe Jimin and Jungkook and I don’t think they’ve been lying and pretending for “fanservice” all of these years. I respect them both too much as individuals and artists to believe that they would stoop to such tactics just to generate a little more “interest” and revenue. I’m suspicious of BH. BTS doesn’t need fanservice to get attention; literally all of 2020 and 2021 so far has proven that beyond a doubt. Even if they suddenly made the decision to do fs.. why not go with the most popular ship (taekook) or at least one that isn’t so hotly debated on social media (remove Jimin, Jungkook and Tae from the equation and you still have four members to “play” with who have much less potential to have fs devolve into a toxic crap show all over the internet). Showing us this will do nothing to help BTS as a group or Jimin and Jungkook at this point. In fact.. all it can do is hurt. Hurt BH, hurt the group, and hurt the individual members, heck.. even potentially hurt other BH/HYBE groups. I’ve already seen people on twitter saying they’re “done” spending money on anything BH or BTS puts out because they’re “sick of jikook in their faces and just two of the seven hogging all of the screen time.” Whether or not that “spending freeze” actually materializes into anything noticeable remains to be seen of course.. but the threat is there and always has been. What is the motive? And why now? As much as my “hopeless romantic” heart would like to believe they’re preparing us for Jikook to be “out” .. I seriously don’t think that is ever going to happen. Certainly not now at the height of the group’s fame, with them being given Presidential honors and ambassador status, and with military service still looming over them all. And let’s not forget... Korea is NOT a safe place for a queer couple. Letting us see and know what they did through what was released has the potential to put Jimin and Jungkook (and the other members by proxy) in danger. Sure.. BTS has never been hardline rule followers and have been breaking molds and shattering norms from the start, so “officially” having an openly gay couple in the group wouldn’t be impossible.. just... highly highly improbable. Especially right now... and I’m concerned. I don’t want to sound like the creeps I posted a screenshot of above throwing blame at the company. The boys chose to renew their contracts with the for a reason so we have to trust their judgement as a group... but still, I’m worried and I’m questioning what the purpose was here. 

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 06 (first part)

(Masterpost)(Episode 05)

Warning: This contains spoilers for All 50 Episodes

Bad Boys Bad Boys What You Gonna Do

Nie Huasang’s brought his nuts, and someone’s brought wine, so the boys are drinking in Wei Wuxian’s guest house. Finally he gets to drink some of the Emperor’s Smile wine that he’s been doing all those product placements for.

Boys, get a bowl or something for your shells, were you raised in a barn?

Wei Wuxian hits on waxes poetic about the wine, and Jiang Cheng tells him to shut up. 

Wang Zhuocheng’s raw-fish-eating face may have failed him, but his drunk faces do not disappoint.

Wei Wuxian teases Jiang Cheng about his list of standards for a chick: She should have natural beauty, be virtuous and caring, from a good family, not too talkative, with a gentle voice, and not too capable. Also she should not spend too much money. Drunken running ensues.

Cue Maple Leaf Rag by Scott Joplin

(more behind the cut)

Much of the fandom has decided this list is a good fit for Nie Huaisang himself, and it sorta is. But he is both talkative and unvirtuous, what with all the current sneakiness, and all the eventual murders. 

This also definitely doesn't fit Wen Qing because she's capable as hell.  

This list is, however, a 100% a match for Jiang Yanli. Not in a weird, Jin Guangyao way--a lot of men want to marry a woman like their sister.  In a gender-divided and generation-divided society, a man’s sister might be the only woman he’s ever known well. Jiang Cheng adores Yanli and she’s his ideal model of a woman, as opposed to his mother, who...isnt.  

All these robes and talismans over the door do nothing to stop Lan Wangji from strolling in.  

Okay so - Lan Wangji is the senior disciple of the Lan Clan, yea? There is no way that patrolling the guest area is in any way his job. He is just walking around here at night specifically to see what Wei Wuxian is doing.

I already did a gifpost of the boys and their totally nonsexual horseplay, over here. I’ll just add, for sad factor, that Jiang Cheng is play-choking Wei Wuxian when they’re all on the bed, and later in the running-and-crying episode he is gonna for-real choke him. Foreshadowing! or maybe just coincidence!

One fun thread running through the young-cultivators episodes is that Nie Huaisang is legit terrified of Lan Wangji while also having a major aesthetic crush on him. Look at how flustered he is here, trying to act sober while also checking him out. 

Lan Wangji is shocked and visibly upset - what are you guys doing? This is not his busting face, this is, for a moment, his vulnerable and disillusioned face. He is super not used to what normal people are like. 

Wei Wuxian doesn't lie or otherwise try to get off the hook, which has got to have Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang grinding their teeth in frustration. He invites Lan Wangji to join them for a drink. LWJ cites a the “no drinking on campus” rule and WWX tries to convince him to chill. 

Then we have this lovely coordinated faint by the boys, to get out of going to get punished. Nie Huaisang has been practicing fainting in front of a mirror just in case he ever needs a skill like that in the future. 

Wei Wuxian keeps trying to turn this into a date. Eventually Lan Wangji is so upset he admits he can’t take all three of them by himself. 

Then the boys run away fake-barfing and Wei Wuxian hits Lan Wangji with a talisman. 

Steal His Agency That’s What You’re Gonna Do

What Wei Wuxian does to Lan Wanji here is definitely wrong. But it's not entirely a disaster.  It allows some crucial information to be shared between them, and it results in Wei Wuxian getting the utter shit beat out of him and never doing this again. I mean, he continues to mind-control his enemies and their eventual corpses, but he doesn't intentionally violate a friend or ally's autonomy in the future. Uhh not counting that whole golden core surgery-without-consent situation. And probably some other situations I’ve forgotten. He improves slightly, okay? 

It’s important to note, incidentally, that the Lan rules about drinking and other “vices” should not be viewed through a Christian lens. The Lans are neither puritans nor ascetics (look at their clothes, furniture, and jewelry, for starters). Being drunk is forbidden probably because it’s a loss of self-control. 

Speaking of self-control, mad props to Wang Yibo for being able to have zero physical reaction to fingers snapping in his face.

Drunk Lan Wangji

Under duress, Lan Wangji knocks back a cup of wine and promptly passes most of the way out. 

Wei Wuxian puts Lan Wangji into bed not unkindly, but pretty much like a sack of potatoes. Compare this to how tenderly he handles Lan Wangji the next time he’s drunk. 

WWX tells LWJ to call him Wei Gege, and giggles. Is this a term of endearment in this context? So far the various boys are calling each other -xiong, not -ge or gege.  In Western media, men calling each other “bro” is basically saying “no homo,” but brotherhood and sisterhood in C-Drama is often a way of indicating stronger love than friendship, without saying whether it's sexual or not. 

They finally start to have a conversation, and when Lan Wangji explains that no-one can touch his headband except, etc etc, Wei Wuxian stops trying to touch it. So at least he's not a handsy bastard in addition to all his other faults. 

Wei Wuxian tells Lan Wangji that his clan is boring and women won't want to marry him. Lan Wangji says that's fine. On one level this is the show acknowledging that he's gay, but I think he's responding in a gender-neutral way; he doesn't want to marry anyone. Marriage, from his perspective, is the literal worst. 

We don't know how he felt about his father, but he definitely loved his mother deeply, and she had a profoundly unhappy marriage, in which her husband did not provide companionship and her children were taken from her.

A note about all that: The dynamics of heterosexual marriages in The Untamed are not based on contemporary companionate marriage. Sex and reproduction is a wife's job in this world, and giving a gentry woman the option to choose her husband is radical. Wei Wuxian is the only one who dares say that Jiang Yanli should have a choice when Jin Guangshan casually tries to give her to his son in front of everyone.  

OP made this today but will totally reuse it when episode 23 rolls around

So Lan Wangji’s parents' marriage was extremely problematic but not necessarily for the reasons it would be in contemporary terms. Having signed on to marry Lan Dad, Mom would have expected to live together and get laid regularly (important for health, in some traditional views, regardless of love/no love) and to have the company of her children. Instead, she was isolated. Lan Dad wanted to have it both ways and so even though he loved her and apparently hooked up with her sometimes, he didn't do his duty by her. She didn't love him but she did her duty. 

Wei Wuxian continues to not get it, calling Lan Wangji dull and babbling about Lan Wangji’s parents until he realizes that LWJ is an orphan like him. 

A nice shift happens here. Once the penny drops, Wei Wuxian doesn't ask a single additional question - he just sees - by reading Lan Wangji’s face - what the deal is, and shares his own story to show he understands. 

This is the first time Wei Wuxian mentions being chased by dogs, which is kind of a big deal, because why was he left all alone when his parents died? 

Why didn't anyone take him in before Jiang Fengmian found him? How isolated are independent cultivators in this world? 

Tea Time

Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen are having tea, and the Lan Clan is so uptight they don't touch each other's teacups. I don't know what this thing is called so I'm going to call it a tea speculum. 

Lan Qiren is back from the cultivation conference and says the red crack plague is happening over in Qinghe where the Nie clan lives.  Lan Xichen fills him in on the water demon, specifically saying Wei Wuxian figured out the connection to the red crack dudes, and explaining who WWX is, as if Lan QIren hadn't already thrown stuff at him and threatened to eventually kill him. 

Fun fact that I just noticed this week so didn't make it into earlier posts: In Episode 46, when Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are in the Jiang ancestral hall, WWX says he was often punished to kneel there, and LWJ said that they heard about this in Gusu.  

So when WWX came to Gusu he already had a reputation as a troublemaker, and the Lan brothers were aware of it.   

Busted and Beaten

A Lan snitch comes in to say that Wei Wuxian has successfully corrupted Lan Wangji, which really shouldn’t cause as much surprise as it does.

“Wei Wuxian got drunk”

“Lan Wangji got drunk”

Lan Xichen takes a moment to consider carefully whether Wei Wuxian is a good friend for his little brother and whether perhaps he was too hasty in throwing them together. Ha ha ha no he doesn’t. 

On the punishment porch, Lan Xichen tries to lecture Lan Wangji in a calm way, but Lan Qiren wants to beat him and Lan Wangji wants to get beat. Wei Wuxian can’t understand why Lan Wangji doesn’t let him take the blame for the drinking. 

Lan Qiren goes way the fuck overboard with this punishment because he's angry--losing control and losing his sense of proportion--and Lan Xichen is shocked. The drone camera watching from above is also shocked.  

Lan Qiren has a few (very few) redeeming qualities, but his extreme rigidity and chronic resentment of anyone he perceives as bad are serious problems. His nephews are both struggling with complex moral quandaries as they get older, and he is absolutely no help to them in resolving their conflicts.

This is definitely...a style of parenting & teaching, but you can see how poorly it works, with Lan Wangji straight up saying “fuck it” after many years of conformity.  Lan Xichen is devoted to the middle path and tries to be obedient. But he is actually not walking anywhere near the middle path, as he gets pulled into colluding with a murderer at the same time as getting dragged onto his brother’s carnival ride. These men need parenting that isn’t so, uh, fucking stupid. (Yes, grown adults still need good parenting; watch Go Ahead if you doubt me) 

Wei Wuxian initially yells and falls down when he gets hit, but then he sees Lan Wangji is taking the beating without any reaction and he tries to do the same. 

Aftermath

Jiang Yanli gently lectures the boys, blaming Jiang Cheng for Wei Wuxian's drinking.  Jesus Christ, he's the younger sibling, could you just NOT, Yanli?  

Both boys ask Yanli not to tell their parents. The boys bicker about who's at fault and then Wei Wuxian shifts to baby voice and starts whining to Yanli about the pain. 

Yanli tells him to suck it up, and says after school she'll -- ok and I know this will be a surprise for everyone -- make soup for them. The boys immediately get back on the same team, which is team Please Put Meat In the Soup.

There's a nice character building moment for Wei Wuxian here. When he sees Lan Xichen he initially turns away to avoid running into him, but then he adults-up and goes to face him and greet him, giving him a half of a bow because of the pain, the pain. Rather than complaining about his punishment he meekly asks if he's broken another rule. 

Lan Xichen tells him that he did wrong but that Lan Qiren’s punishment was too harsh, and then in what is one of my favorite Lan Xichen moments, invites Wei Wuxian to use the cold spring to heal, but doesn't invite Jiang Cheng to go with him even though Jiang Cheng also was beaten. Lan Xichen, Matchmaker Auntie Extraordinaire. 

Then he answers Wei Wuxian’s question about his mom by saying she was just like Wei Wuxian and drove Lan Qiran up the wall. Jiang Cheng's reaction to that is really sweet. He does enjoy Wei Wuxian at the same time as being constantly irritated by him. 

Lan Xichen does his patented “breaking off in the middle of saying something and leaving out a chunk of the story” maneuver, although this time he doesn't include a flute solo. 

OP is mildly obsessed with Xuan Lu’s shoulders in this outfit. Also Yanli has an interesting sword, that's got some wood carving similar to Subian, but without the organic look, which OP only noticed because of screen capping Xuan Lu’s shoulders.  

Club Ruohan

Wen Qing continues to be pretty and slightly evil at this stage, sending magic fire notes to her boss using this talisman that is definitely floating in the air and not just hanging from a string. 

Wen Ruohan is in the mosh pit with his zombie groupies while he reads Wen Qing’s extremely vague status update and says "it all makes sense." 

Reach out and touch faith

Soundtrack

Maple Leaf Rag by Scott Joplin Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode

Writing Prompt

How did Wei Wuxian’s parents die?

Admin Notes

I’m going to start spacing out my “first part” and “second part” posts by a few days.  I’ll update this post to link up the second part once I post it, and my masterpost is always up to date. 

Also: if you want more of my original content but don’t want to follow my whole blog (not following is fine!), I keep a pinboard of fun stuff at the top of my blog. I try to post original content at least once a week.

Continued in the second part later this week!

[unknownwriting]

Ruin Our Friendship

[Part 1]

Summary: Poor Ace has fallen head over heels for his best friend but he's scared that he'll ruin their friendship if he tells her. (pt. 2) 

Characters: Portgas D. Ace

Song Inspiration: Jenny by Studio Killers

Work count: 4.2k (I was not expecting it to be this long)

Notes: Part 2 of the one shot, hehe it’s a little longer than the first i hoped y’all like it. Sorry it took so long I was not expect 2 book reports and 2 essays to be assigned 🤬🔫 

━━☆⌒*.

“...Ace, if I go on one....more rollercoaster, I think Imma...puke.” (Y/n) groaned as she stumbled over to a bench. Ace watched her, her hair a mess and her face flush from the excitement. For the whole mess she looked like, Ace found it so cute. He let out a loud laugh, taking a seat right next to her.

“Giving up so soon? I thought you’d have more in you.” Ace teased. (Y/n) shot a glare over at him but she couldn’t help but let a smile brush across her lips.

“Oi, shut up! I’m not built like a monster like you. And plus-“ (Y/n) leaned back on the bench as her stomach let out a low growl. She let out a soft whimper and placed a hand on her stomach before looking back at Ace, “-plus. I’m hungry. I wanna eat something.”

“I saw a hot dog stand just around the corner. Let’s stop there.” Ace laughed, standing back up. (Y/n) watched him for a moment, trying to calm herself down at but from the rollercoaster they just went on. It had to be their 4th rollercoaster in a row, she was just surprised with how casual Ace still seems to be acting. With a small scoff from her lips, she jumped up and intertwined their fingers once again.

“A hot dog doesn’t sound too bad.” She smiled leading the 2 of them to the food stand. Ace smiled down at her while the 2 of them walked hand in hand through the crowded park. Today was possibly the best day ever in Ace’s eyes, nothing could ruin today. The weather was perfect: not a cloud in the sky nor a chilly breeze. The park was amazing: not too many people nor long lines. And of course the best part of all: that fact that he’s going on a date with his best friend. Nothing could be better than this. After Ace got over his shyness and awkwardness, everything began to flow smoothly. The conversations came naturally and there seemed to be no conflict between the 2 when it came to activities. It was almost like the 2 were hanging out as friends but with all the hand-holding and the way Ace’s heart still raced in his chest, it made him remember it was a date. It also made him realize just how hard he has fallen for her.

“After this let’s go play some games.” (Y/n) had exclaimed as she squeezed his hand to get his attention. Glancing down at her, Ace followed her pointing her finger over at a row of games, “I wanna win a really big bear.”

“No more rides?”

“Ace if I go on another ride I will puke all over you,” (Y/n) said in a dumbfounded tone as she looked up at her date. Still hand and hand they made their way to an empty table. As (Y/n) took a seat pointed over to the stand and smiled, “Now Ace, go get me a hot dog!”

“Huh? You can’t get it?”

“Nope, it’s the man's job to buy their date a hot dog. It’s the first rule of dating.” (Y/n) exclaimed. Ace's face flushed red before he made his way over to the stand to order. Once Ace got them both a meal he went back to (Y/n) and let out a scoff as he saw (Y/n)'s eyes light up at the sight of food.

“I don’t think I’d ever been this excited to eat a hot dog.”

“So you really didn’t eat before coming here?”

“Of course not. Knowing you, you’d wanna go on a lot of rides so I tried not to eat anything that would upset me.” (Y/n) explained as she took a bit out of her food and hummed happily. Ace froze for a moment as he watched her eat. It was always the little things that made Ace fall for her. Even if she did it for herself, the fact that she thought of him was enough to make his heart explode. With the rush of shivers that ran through his body, he opened his mouth to speak but he caught his breath before he could say anything. He had a plan, well more like Macro and Thatch had a plan, for how Ace would confess. The 2 of you would spend the day together riding rides, playing games, eating junk food, and taking pictures, silly and cute ones. Basically, stuff the 2 of them would normally do together, and then at the end of the day is when Ace would confess. The park plans a huge firework show once every few months, so what would be a better place to confess than a huge firework show. The plan was simple and flawless, the only problem is waiting to see if it goes that way. He felt confident though, the date has been going smoothly so far. He hasn’t seen anyone who knew them or hasn’t run into any problems, with (Y/n) or anyone else. It was going well, nothing seemed to be getting in the way...

But of course, he spoke too soon. As the 2 of them finished their meal and began to ball up their trash, a loud voice called out to them. (Y/n) was the first to perk up and turn around to search. Ace immediately cringed as he recognized the voice. He’s totally jinxed their date.

“Ace, (Y/n) !!”

“Oh! Luffy, Sabo! I didn’t expect you 2 to be here.” (Y/n) called out as she waved back to the 2 approaching boys. Luffy and Sabo were quick to make their way over to Ace and (Y/n)'s side. As soon as Luffy took a spot next to (Y/n) and Sabo took a spot next to Ace, Luffy and (Y/n) already began to laugh.

“Pfftt...Lu-chan what are you even wearing? That headband seems very-“

“Shishishi, isn’t cool!! I beat Sabo and won it.” Luffy cheered as he smiled brightly at (Y/n) and place a hand on the strange hat he won. Now that he mentions it, (Y/n) does remember seeing those hats at the front. It would be a lie to say that winning one of those didn’t cross her mind, but she figured that she would force Ace to win her on one the way out like a boyfriend should do.

“Luffy beat you? Lu-chan must’ve been going easy on you.” (Y/n) teased as her eyes glazed over to the older blonde. Sabo tensed up and shook his head, trying to hide his embarrassment.

“It was dumb luck. I was winning but he came in and won instead. My hand simply slipped.” Sabo explained to cover up his embarrassment. (Y/n) scoffed as she raised an eyebrow at Sabo, who stared down at her. He knew (Y/n) was gonna say something, she always says some type of remark. Just like Ace, Sabo also met (Y/n) in one of his classes. They easily got along and it wasn’t until later on did (Y/n) learn that he was Ace’s brother. That was probably the moment Ace realized he fell. To him, family is extremely important to him and of course, his lover must like his family. So when Ace learned about how well she got along with Sabo, he knew he fell. Ace watched too, wondering if (Y/n) was gonna say anything and she was because she opened her mouth but was quickly cut off by Luffy again. He grabbed her attention and began to talk about who knows what. Sabo seemed to be interested in the conversation but he was pulled away when Ace spoke up. Ace still found it hard to believe, out of all the days, why did Sabo and Luffy have to come today. Out of all the days, why today? It was no lie that it made him frustrated. This day was just supposed to be him and (Y/n) and now Sabo and Luffy showed up. He’s not stupid either, he knows what going to happen next now that they ran into the 2, and it made him upset but he knows that the 2 of them mean no harm, it was simply just a coincidence.

“What are you 2 doing here?” Ace asked, trying his best to not sound upset, although it wasn’t really working. Sabo was quick to catch onto the tone in his voice but for the sake of Luffy and (Y/n) in front of them, he decided not to call him out on it.

“Nothing much.” Sabo shrugged, “I had a day off and Luffy wanted to come. Although we didn’t know you’d be here today, especially with (Y/n). I thought you were busy?”

“...I am.” Ace hesitated as he looked over at (Y/n) who continued to laugh with Luffy about something. The way her whole body would jiggle when she laughed, and the way she would put a hand on the other person’s arm, and the way her laugh echoed through the area, it was all things Ace knew all too well. No matter how many times he looks at her, he just keeps finding more reasons to fall in love. Sabo followed his gaze and looked at (Y/n) before looking back at Ace and the blush that not so subtly covered his cheeks. He’s had his speculation about Ace’s crush on (Y/n) for a while now, and seeing how he can finally connect the pieces, he understood why Ace was busy and it didn’t help that Luffy and he interrupted it.

“Oh.” Sabo hummed as he shifted in his seat grabbing Luffy and (Y/n)'s attention. It was Sabo’s and Luffy’s cue to finally leave Ace and (Y/n) alone to enjoy the rest of their date. It would be a lie to say that he wanted to leave, in all honesty, he wanted to watch Ace go on this date. It’s been so long since Ace has found someone that actually gave him butterflies in his stomach but Sabo respected Ace’s wish. The one he really had to worry about was Luffy, he’s definitely one to not read between the lines, thus this is where Sabo comes in, “Luffy, come on let's go. We should leave Ace and (Y-”

“No!! I still wanna go on some rides with her!” Luffy exclaimed as he jumped up out of his seat and grabbed (Y/n)'s hand. She yelps from the sudden force, causing Ace and Sabo to jump up alongside her to make sure she doesn’t fall. Although she didn’t have time to fall as she was quickly dragged behind Luffy as he pulled her to the next ride he wanted to do. (Y/n) looked back at the others with a worried yet apologetic look as she tried her best to regain her balance. She felt really bad leaving the Ace behind, it was just supposed to be him and her the whole day yet Luffy and Sabo just happened to appear. Even though they did appear, (Y/n) was just going to make a short conversation with them and move on. She was sure Ace had the same idea, but she should’ve known that Luffy was bound to do something. All (Y/n) could do now I hope that Luffy doesn’t stay long.

ミ☆

After a long day of being pulled around the park with a very energetic Luffy and going on almost all the rides, (Y/n) was ready to puke. Not only was she ready to puke she’s also ready to go back to Ace and hopefully end the day together, at least. Throughout the day, (Y/n) barely had any time with Ace because of Luffy. Ace and Sabo tried their best to try and keep up with the 2 but as soon as Ace and Sabo arrived at the ride Luffy had already dragged (Y/n) on it or to a different ride. So much for Ace and (Y/n)'s date, it might as well have been Luffy and (Y/n)'s date. However, Luffy finally began to crash near the end, letting Ace and Sabo finally catch up to the 2. At the moment, Luffy and (Y/n) sat at the front of the park talking about each of their favorite rides while Ace and Sabo made their way to them. Now don’t get her wrong, (Y/n) enjoyed the day with Luffy but she still felt really bad about leaving Ace behind. It was supposed to be their first date today yet they hardly spent any time together.

“I liked the roller coaster that spun around while we rode it. That one was probably my favorite. " (Y/n) explained as she recalled that ride. She made Luffy ride it at least 3 times.

“Shishishi. We rode it at least 3 times, you really did like it.”

“Of course, it was a lot better than those rides you made me ride with all the twists and turns. I’m surprised I last as long as I did, I was about to puke. You're worse than Ace.” (Y/n) exclaimed as she leaned back into the bench, she was happy to sit somewhere that didn’t move. All Luffy did was laugh. It was around sunset, the skies painted hues of pinks and purple with the moon threatening to take over the sky. To (Y/n), there was nothing special that’s going to happen now. She doesn’t know that there’s going to be a firework show tonight, so as far as she knows is that the 2 of them are waiting for Ace and Sabo to arrive so they can go home. Because she already spent most of the day with Luffy, she might as well go home with them and try to make up for the time she didn’t spend with Ace.

“Jeez, we finally caught up with you 2.” Sabo’s voice called out, as he and Ace approached the 2. Both Luffy and (Y/n) perked up when they heard his voice and as soon as (Y/n)'s eyes landed on Ace, she jumped up from her seat and joined him at his side.

“Ace! Your finally back.” (Y/n) cheered while she easily and quickly slipped her hand into his, sending chills down each of their spines. The blush that was missing from Ace’s face had now reappeared as he looked down at his supposed to be date. Sabo scoffed at the 2 of them and looked back down at Luffy.

“You didn’t drag (Y/n) on every ride, did you?”

“Shishishi, nope...” Luffy shook his head, letting Sabo release a relieved sigh but he was quick to suck it back in when Luffy spoke up again, “Some rides were closed and had too long of a line.”

“Thank god for those. Luffy was trying to kill me. We went on like ever ride.” (Y/n) sighed, looking over at Sabo before looking back up at Ace again, “And I can’t believe I thought you were bad. Luffy made me go on every ride without a break.”

“I almost feel bad for you but I told you how much of a handful he was.” Ace laughed. It was nice to finally see her again after a long day of having to chase after her.

“Almost?! Aww, Ace you're so mean.” (Y/n) playfully pouted. Sabo scoffed again as Luffy stood up and join him by his side. Sabo finally felt at ease, Ace was finally able to go back to the date he and (Y/n) were supposed to go on, even if it can only last for one more hour.

“Well seeing how you were supposed to come here with Ace only. I’ll take Luffy and leave the 2 of you alone.” Sabo quickly noticed the relieved look on (Y/n)'s face and could guess for 2 reasons why: One so she can actually enjoy her date with Ace and two, so she can get a break from Luffy. Luffy laughed once again and waved bye to Ace and (Y/n), they finally took off leaving the 2 alone after an extremely long day. As if in sync, Ace and (Y/n) both let out a sigh and looked at each other, and laughed. It was no lie that the 2 of them were finally happy to be alone with each other again, give or take the crowd around them.

“Well, I can proudly say I officially met the whole ASL trio.” (Y/n) chuckled as the 2 of them began to walk hand and hand to the lake that sat in the middle of the park.

“Heh, I did tell you Luffy was a handful. Although I probably wouldn’t make the 2 of you get to know each other at an amusement park.” Ace added, smiling down at (Y/n), “I bet you're pretty tired.”

“Ugh, Ace, that’s an understatement. I feel like I can sleep for days.” (Y/n) said as the 2 of them approached the lake. Ace scoffed at her comment, but then fell silent. All he did was looked down at (Y/n) who began to kick pieces of popcorn on the floor into the lake for the ducks to eat. He really wanted this day to be perfect yet Luffy seemed to come and interrupted that. It was so not how they thought the day would go. The 2 of them had hardly spent any time together, Ace just spent the day talking to Sabo about (Y/n) and tell him every reason why he fell in love. At least he was lucky enough to be with (Y/n) right before the fireworks and if all goes well this time, right before the fireworks Ace should confess his feelings.

“Sorry that Sabo and Luffy showed up. I didn’t know they were gonna be coming today.” Ace started drawing (Y/n)'s attention up to him. She took a moment to look up at him even if its dark outside, (Y/n) could still see the cute freckles that covered his face. Before any moment longer; not wanting to make Ace feel uncomfortable and shrugged her shoulders and smiled,

“Yeah, It was unexpected but I-”

“They ruined our dated.” Ace cut off (Y/n) as he hung his head low in guilt and frustration. It was already hard enough to figure out his feelings for her and now it’s just as hard to just ask her out. (Y/n) could completely understand how he feels, she was also so looking forward to his date but even if it was interrupted by Luffy and Sabo it still considered a date, just not a perfect one.

“They didn’t ruin anything.” (Y/n) scoffed, squeezing Ace’s hand pulling his attention over to her.

“It was supposed to be a date. With just me and you and yet-”

“-and yet, your brothers tagged along. There nothing wrong with that. We still rode some rides together, took pictures together, ate together, and did other couple-y stuff together. Your brothers just happened to be here.” (Y/n) explained as she recalled all the times the 4 of them did meet up with each other. Ace’s face seemed to soften a bit after hearing her explanation, “And plus, I don’t know about you but I think I'm finally ready to be apart of your crazy family. After the hell your brother put me through I better be apart of the family.”

That’s when Ace froze. He didn’t know what to do or what to even say. All he could do was repeat her, “...Apart of my.. family??”

“Well of course,” (Y/n) gave a firm nodded as she looked up into Ace’s eyes. As he stared right back down at her, he noticed there was a look of determination in them. It almost reminded him of the determination he had of making this date perfect, but that had to just be wishful thinking. (Y/n) couldn’t possibly know the plan behind the date. Seems like he was wrong, “All that’s left to do is confess to me, right? So whenever your ready Ace, I’ll give you my answer.”

“You...know? How’d you know??” Ace began to panic now. The plan was supposed to be kept secret and yet she seems to know all about it. He knows for a fact that Marco and Thatch didn’t tell her, they hardly even know her and as far as he knows, she was pretty good at keeping his feelings to himself, so how does (Y/n) know. She giggled as she inched closer to Ace, slowly closing the gap between them. Ace didn’t even notice, he was panicking too much.

“Ya’know Luffy doesn’t have a quiet mouth. Soooo, he ended up telling me. Well, he told me something along the lines. I figured out the rest.” (Y/n) smiled.

“Luffy told you?? God, he so stupid. How does he even know, I don’t remember even telling him anything about it. I’m mean I think I brought it up with Sabo but the only people who knew about it was-” Ace began to ramble on as the heat of embarrassment rushed through his body. He, no doubt, felt embarrassed. Luffy practically told (Y/n) that Ace like her. One more thing that Luffy did to ruin the day. Ace would’ve probably rambled on for a while too, not that (Y/n) didn’t minded. It was cute seeing Ace freak out and see the blush that covered his freckled cheeks, but if (Y/n) didn’t shut him up they would’ve gone nowhere. So while she wanted Ace to be the one to confess, it looks like (Y/n)'s just gonna have to step up for this one. (Y/n) doesn’t know what came over her when she thought of this idea but she has seen it happen in a lot of romcoms so why not try it in real life. Standing up on her tippy-toes, she closed the gap in-between them and connect their lips. Ace definitely froze now. This date is not going how he planned at all. The one he asked out is the one kissing him now.

(Y/n) had only planned to kiss Ace quickly and sweetly; a small peck on the lips to shut him up but things didn’t end up going that way Unknowingly to (Y/n) the fireworks began to go off right in the middle of their kiss. Gasping, her mouth slightly opened for just a moment and Ace was quick to take advantage of that. There wasn’t a lot he could control about this date but he knows that he can easily take control of this kiss. Now he’s taking full advantage of (Y/n). He knows that she’s hardly kissed anyone before so she’s inexperienced. He slipped his tongue into her mouth and began to dance around her mouth, taking his time and enjoying the feeling. (Y/n) face lit up in at least 10 different shades of red, this was definitely now how she imagined the kiss going but she enjoyed it. Her hands found the back of his neck while his hands found her waist. By now, there was no extra space between the 2. A small groan left Ace’s lips as the 2 of them continued to kiss. Fireworks continued to light up the sky, but the 2 of them didn’t even care. Ace probably could’ve kept the kiss going but after feeling a soft tug from (Y/n) on his shirt, he finally broke the kiss. As he leaned back he studied (Y/n)'s face. With the help of the bright flashes of light that illumined the sky, he could see the huge blush that covered her whole face: her cheeks, ears, and even neck. It was an amazing sight to see, especially after all the times (Y/n) had made Ace blush. He easily thought of it as payback, and seeing how he left her speechless he felt satisfied.

“I guess I don’t have to give you an answer anymore, do I?” Ace smirked as his strong arm continued to keep a tight hold around her waist. It still took (Y/n) a moment to regain her composer, the kiss was so unexpected and...amazing. There was no doubt that the feeling between the 2 is very much mutual.

“I...uh..A...a-after that kiss, if you don’t ask me to be your girlfriend now I might as well walk out of here empty-handed.” (Y/n) also kept her hands around her neck not wanting to let go of the warm body. Ace scoffed at her comment. Although the day didn’t go as plan at all, at least Ace was able to confess and not lose (Y/n). It filled him with so much indescribable happiness, he was going to be smiling for weeks. He closed the gap one last time, but this time with a tight hug. As he snuggled his face into the side of (Y/n)'s neck, she giggled feeling his black hair tickle her neck, “Ya’know, I guess we do owe it to Luffy. I mean, if he didn’t tell me then I wouldn’t have confessed either.”

“You? Confessed?”

“Mm-hm. I can’t tell you how long I’ve liked you. But I guess it was the same as you. I was scared to ruin what we already had.” (Y/n) explained as she nuzzled the nose into his hair as if she was trying to hide. Ace’s eyes widen at her explanation, turns out he hardly knows his best friend, “But, we really do have to make sure to thank Luffy.”

“I’ll make sure to beat him up later.” Ace muttered causing (Y/n) to erupt in laugher. Although, (Y/n) thought Ace was joking around Ace knows for a fact that he will beat him up for ruining their date, but he must give him credit at least. Even though Luffy didn’t mean to do anything, he ended up making this the best day ever.

[acefeather2002]

Love: Something That Is Quite Ineffable (CATS 1998)

We try our best to understand the true meaning of things in our lives. It’s in our nature. Everyone wonders how somethings happen or even why. Sometimes we get an answer, and we can finally understand. But, sometimes we don’t, and we continue to ponder. There is one thing that everyone knows about, somewhat understands, but can never truly be put into words, and that thing is “Love.”

For some people, Love likes to come in, make friends, and live happily ever after. At least, that’s how it went for Plato. A young tom and protector-in-training in his adolescent years. A little goofy, but he’s serious when he needs to be. He makes a few mistakes, but has a good heart nonetheless. Having tagged along Munkustrap and Alonzo since he was a small kit, he had always dreamed of being a protector and truly be able to defend his tribe one day. He has indeed come a long way, taking every tip and word of advice from his mentors and putting them to work.

He just came back from patrol with Alonzo one day when he first met a stunningly beautiful white kitten that was a couple of cat years younger than him. He couldn’t help but stare at the pure white angel that gracefully danced in the open space of the junkyard. Alonzo noticed his gaze, and a smug smirk glided onto his face. “I take it you have the hots for my little sister, huh?” he teased. Plato did a double take to his mentor in surprise and asked in shock, “Wait, what?! That’s your SISTER?!”

Alonzo gave a hearty laugh at the younger tom’s reaction as the latter looked down with a blush. He finally responded from his laughing fit, “Yeah, she is. Beautiful isn’t she?” Plato gave a silent nod as stared back to where the white queen practiced. The kit turned and saw her brother and another tom she didn’t recognize watching her. She gave a smile and gentle wave as she quickly ran over to give her big brother a hug. Alonzo chuckled again at his sister’s antics that he and Plato found adorable before greeting, “Hello to you too, Victoria.” 

“Victoria?” the soon-to-be-protector repeated, “That’s a lovely name.” The queen in question looked up at him and signed a “Thank you.” Plato, of course understood the signing but still gave a slightly confused face. Alonzo noticed his bewilderment as he shyly explained, “Sorry, there was a...complication during her birth that didn’t allow her vocal cords to be fully developed." Victoria looked down a bit, worried that the tom would pity her as her brother continued, "So, ever since she was a newborn, she’s been mute. The main way she communicates is through signing and dance.” 

Plato nodded in understanding but then surprised the two siblings with a smile, “Good thing I studied signing in my spare time.” The two gaped in shock at the revelation, and Victoria excitedly wrapped her arms around his neck with a grin. Plato returned the strong hug just as tight but gentle with a small smile as his mentor watched with a bright and knowing smirk. He watched as the two started talking, or rather signing a conversation, learning more about each other all the while with happy faces. The monochromatic tom walked away and let the two get to know each other more, clearly seeing where this relationship was going and already accepting it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So yeah. Love can be friendly sometimes...

But, sometimes, Love can be a total jerk! It could string you along forever if it wanted to! Stuck in an almost endless chase, but luckily, there are times when you finally catch it. Take the Rum Tum Tugger for example. He always has queens throwing themselves at his feet willing if able to do his bidding just to be his. What they tend to forget, though, is that the Rum Tum Tugger only likes what he finds for himself. He likes to work for his prize. He enjoys the challenge almost as much as a horrible muddle. Well, apparently, it seems the Rum Tum Tugger has finally met his match. The challenge: the Magical Mister Mistoffelees. 

Skilled and talented at everything he does: Check. Sleek, dark black fur that sparkles like the night sky: Check. A sharp tongue that could cut anybody that crosses him with his sass: Triple check!!! Quaxo was everything Tugger dreamed of, and he didn’t even realize it until his song came on and he was called “a terrible bore” by the smaller tuxedo for the first time. Ever since then, he’d been chasing after the magical tom. Unfortunately for him, nothing worked. Every hip thrust only got a scoff in response. Every pick-up line earned him an eye roll. Each time he tried to flirt, the reply would be of remarkable wit and sass that he sometimes wouldn’t know what to say. He was losing his touch...and confidence! What shocked him even more was the day he overheard Mistoffelees talking to his sister, Victoria.

“Come on, Vicky,” the tux tom complained, “It’s obvious that you have a better chance with him than I ever would! And you’re with that Plato character!” “Geez, Quaxo how oblivious are you?” the white queen signed exasperatedly. “I am NOT oblivious!” the magicat argued, “Almost every queen throws themselves at his feet. He could choose any one of you if not all if he wanted!” Victoria gave a sigh and facepawed(Hehe. Get it? Sorry, I’ll stop now). Tugger had to keep from laughing at the exchange but felt discouraged to know that Misto had his heart for another tom until, “What? You actually think I have a remote chance with the Rum Tum Tugger himself?” 

For what Victoria’s face didn’t say, which wasn’t much, her signing made up for, “YES! That’s what I’ve been TRYING to tell you for the last HALF HOUR! THINK about it! The pick-up lines, the flirting, the hip thrusts. He may do that with the other queens, but for YOU? You’re the ONLY TOM he’s ever tried to actually woo. The more he chases you, the more you resist which adds on to the ever growing challenge that HE LIKES!”

Mistoffelees fell silent for a moment and pondered his sister's words. Thinking back, how could he have missed the signs? The occasional stolen side glances, the light blush in both their cheeks when interacting with each other, he even realized that he actually missed the company of the Rum Tum Tugger himself when they were apart! That just added more to the shock factor! "Oh, my Everlasting!" he exclaimed as he facepawed, "You're right! How could I have missed this?!" "Because you're an oblivious, lovesick dork, and I knew I was right when I told you," the queen signed with a smug look on her features.

The tuxedo rolled his eyes playfully annoyed, "Gee, thanks," he replied, dripping with sarcasm before being serious, "I guess I have to find him again. Maybe tell him how I feel?" Realizing the way that idea would likely pan out, he let out a groan laid his face in his paws, "Oh, but then he'll just shrug it off like, 'I knew you'd fall for me one day,' and that's the last reaction that I need!" Victoria laid a paw on her brother's shoulder, urging him to look at her before signing, "I think you should just let him come to you, and once he asks you to be his mate (in his own way, no doubt) then you could say yes." Quaxo looked down again in thought and agreed the idea to be the best course of action. No sooner did he nod when the Maine coon of the matter decided to reveal himself.

"Well," he announced, "There you are, Midnight. I've been looking for you everywhere! Hello, Victoria." He ended his statement with a kiss to the queen's paw and flirty smirk, a shy but silent giggle and rosy cheeks accenting her pure white fur. "T-Tugger!" Misto called out a light blush painting his own cheeks, "What a coincidence because I've been avoiding you everywhere!" "Oh, come off it. You know you love me," the flirty tom teased as he stood closer to him with an overly cocky smirk. The magical cat subtly glanced to his sister in the corner of his eye and saw her nod in understanding and encouragement. "Yeah? Well, what if I do?" he asked, not wanting to give in entirely yet. Tugger stood in mock surprise, knowing full well what the smaller male is trying to pull.

Okay, he'll play along.

"Well, what if I asked you to go on a hunt with me?" "And what if I said yes?" "Then perhaps I could ask you to go to this year's Jellicle Ball with me, too?" "And say that I do go to the ball with you?" "Then maybe I ask you for the mating dance." "But, wouldn't that make us mates?" "Only if you said yes." "But would you really want to do the Mating Dance with me, though?" Tugger stood shocked at the question. His immediate answer was yes, obviously, but this is the Mating Dance which meant commitment to a singular cat alone. Even so, his answer was still, "Yes."

It was now Mistoffelees' turn to be shocked, and for once, he didn't know what to say, so he stayed silent as the tom in front of him continued, "More than anything or anyone else in the tribe. In the world. I know I usually act all flirty and brash and indecisive. And, to be honest, I do have commitment issues (which shouldn't really come as a surprise), but I've never been more sure about anything or anyone as I am about you. I want to stay committed to you, and you make me want to stay committed, too. If you'll just give me a chance, I can show you how much I mean it and how much you mean to me."

Victoria watched the whole exchange from the side with anticipation and nervousness (and blinked back the tears in her eyes from the emotional speech). Mistoffelees stayed silent for a moment more before uttering quietly, "Alright. I'll give you a chance. Yes, I'll go on a hunt with you. Yes, I'll go to the ball with you, and yes, I'll even do the Mating Dance with you. Yes." The Rum Tum Tugger beamed ecstatically as he picked up the tuxedo tom around the waist and spun him around the area a little with a joyful laugh bubbling from them both. Once he placed down the other tom, Victoria ran over and hugged them both, a grin splitting her face in two as she was excited to see how her brother's new relationship would grow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, as you can see, Love can be friendly. Love can be a tease. But, consider the idea that Love could be a saving grace, too. That was Demeter’s story. She found herself in a dark room. Turning in circles, she frantically scanned her surroundings, noticing all the familiar aspects of the room. The place was a mess with cardboard boxes all over and covered in dust and a few covered and torn pieces of furniture here and there. The air reeked of ash and smoke. It was cold and intimidatingly uninviting. But, the icing on the cake was the spine-chilling voice that whispered behind her ear. 

“Hello, darling. So good to have you back,” the voice said menacingly. The golden queen jumped away and turned to see the Hidden Paw himself, Macavity. The ginger cat bore a sinister smirk on his face, his dark eyes flaming with lust and evil desire. Demeter cowered back, fear and anger filling her own green eyes as she spat back, “What do you want with me? Why have you brought me back?!” “I brought back what was rightfully mine,” the criminal cat  stated matter-of-factly, “You were the sheep that left the herd, and I was the shepherd that had to fetch you and bring you back.”

“I’m no sheep, and you’d never be my shepherd if I ever were one!” the nervous queen uttered coldly. Macavity clicked his tongue in scoldingly, “Tsk, tsk, tsk. Why so harsh, my stunning goddess?” he leaned close to her ear, causing her to freeze in place, “Think back to those nights. You and I both know that you actually enjoyed the nights we had such fun! Why the cold company? I know you still love me, and you still want me more than anyone.” He used the tip of his tail to guide her face to look at him. When their gazes met, all she saw was fire burning and evil intent. “You just wanted to mess with me with that terrible prank of acting like you fell for my uptight, pitiful excuse of a brother. You just wanted to make me jealous.” Still frozen in fear, Demeter found that she’d also lost her voice. She couldn’t say anything, even though none of it was true. She could barely even squeak a noise when the Napoleon of Crime leaned into her neck and whispered darkly.

“Well...it worked.”

He bit down on her neck, and she let out a scream of pain as she began scratching and clawing at different areas of his body to get him to stop. He soon released from the bite, taking pride in the mark left behind, shoved her to the floor on her back, and pinned down her arms over her head. “You’re mine,” he demanded dominantly, “You always have been, and you always will be. You’ll never escape me no matter how long or how far you run. I’ll always fetch my sheep!”

“NO!” Demeter screamed out as she sat up in her bed. “Demeter, it’s okay! It’s okay. I’m here! I’m right here. It’s okay.” The golden queen turned to her right to see her silver knight, Munkustrap pulling her to his chest. It was still the middle of the night. Her heart was pounding in her ears and her breathing was ragged and shaky as if she was crying. She WAS crying. Tears streamed down her face as she sobbed into her mate’s strong chest. Munkustrap held her close, adjusting to where she could listen to his heartbeat, knowing that the steadiness and constance would calm her and provide a focus before she’d fall into a panic attack. 

The silver tom started humming a tune, allowing his baritone voice to vibrate through his chest. No true song in particular, but a tune that they both knew and shared with just each other in times where one of them was overwhelmed mentally, physically, or emotionally. Five minutes later, as he stroked the back of her head, Demeter let out one more sniffle before taking a deep breath to show she’d truly calmed down. “Are you alright, dear?” Munkustrap asked cautiously. The queen in question looked up at the tabby tom with glossed eyes, the moon shining through the window and causing them to sparkle. She looked down again before finally answering, “Yes. I’m sorry if I worried you. It was just a nightmare. You should get back to sleep. You have patrol the next morning.” “Part of my roll as Protector is to protect everyone in the tribe from any danger, and that especially includes you,” the Protector explained, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Not wanting to relive the terrible dream, all she said was, “It was about him.” Munkustrap nodded in understanding as to why she’d left it at that, but he couldn’t leave her in this state. “Just know this then, dear: The only thing that my brother is right about is that you are definitely worth fighting for. You’re not a prize. You’re not a possession. You’re not anyone’s toy that they can get rid of when they get bored. But, you ARE my pride and joy. I love you, and nothing will change that. I’ll always be there to protect you, and I’ll always find a way to save you. No matter what. Don’t forget that.” Another tear slowly dripped from her eye as Demeter nuzzled her head into Munkustrap’s neck and uttered quietly, “I love you too.”

The silver tom laid them both back down and pulled up the blanket to cover them, and the two snuggled close together purring in comfort before dozing off to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

See, Love is a strange and quite mysterious thing. It can be tender and sweet or feisty and improbable. We can’t truly understand the full concept of Love, but if we work with proper guidance, we can find our best interpretation of Love. And, when we do find it, the amount of happiness brought with it is something quite ineffable.