#and peach can get with toad

[krtke]

To continue on my mario movie mini-phase

Luigi and bowser

Please make that canon

I want them to flirt

[giddlygoat]

TRADITIONAL TOAD GARB PEACH LETS GOOOOOOOO

[cozystars]

The one who carries the Mushroom Kingdom on her shoulders.

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

Im thinking about gravity falls (making sprites of all the characters) and I was looking at manly dan and tyler cutebiker like 'who the hell do these guys remind me of' it's bowser and luigi. Full-on bowser and luigi.

[actually-autisticc]

My thoughts on the Super Mario Movie

My autistic ass needs someone to talk to about this film and I have nobody. I know I don’t post as often anymore on here but I need to let this energy out. Here’s what did work and didn’t work

What did work:

the animation: DAMN. It looked amazing. I loved how smooth they looked on screen and the details of the character models, the background, etc. You can tell they put a lot of love into it. It felt so nice to see our favorite video game characters on screen like this. All of the references were such a joy to find and recognize. It’s also crazy that Mario came from being an 8bit model to this glorious, detailed, 3D model. And some scenes “camera” moved in a way that would be in a game. When Mario and Luigi were on their way to their first plumbing job, the “camera” moved sideways as the first Mario games were side-scrolling. When Toad and Mario were heading to the castle and poor Mario was being thrown around, the “camera” moved around like I guess the newer games? I mean it looked like Super Mario Odyssey but there could be other games, I haven’t played every single one (now I want to). Really cool attention to detail. My autistic ass loves attention to detail. The models looked good as well like Bowser’s scales and the brothers’ clothing. Funny how 3D animation wasn’t as detailed before like with Veggietales and Toy Story 1 but now we have HAIR. You get it.

The music: Some parts hit, some didn’t. I loved the orchestral remixes of our beloved songs. When the kart scene came on, I immediately recognized the music and felt PUMPED, especially when they were making the karts and I heard the Mario Kart 8 theme. I wanted to jump out of my seat but couldn’t cause I didn’t wanna be weird. Hearing the theme songs as well felt satisfying. It scratched that itch I didn’t know I needed to be scratched. I found myself listening to the soundtrack right after. I’m glad they chose 80’s songs rather than fucking Doja Cat or whatever but it still threw me off hearing Take On Me, Holding Out for a Hero, and Mr. Blue Sky. (Cmon Shrek did Holding Out better. No topping it) As much as I love those songs, I remembered that this is an Illumination movie so of course they’d have popular songs. If they left the pop songs in the human world and kept the Mario songs in the Mushroom kingdom, etc, it would’ve made a little more sense. No Sleep til Brooklyn was good tho, made sense cause they live in Brooklyn and they were in the human world.

Chris Pratt: Yes, I know everyone was skeptical of Chris Pratt playing Mario. I love Chris in Guardians of the Galaxy as Peter Quill so I didn’t have much doubt but since he is a celebrity and you know how movies these days (mainly Illumination) love to get big names in their films. I wasn’t disappointed. He was good, not bad. As much as I love Martinet’s iconic Mario, I don’t think I’d be able to handle hearing it the whole time. It’s iconic but let’s be real hearing “let’s-a-go!” the whole time is a bit jarring. Mario’s from Brooklyn so that’s what Chris tried. And his Wahoo! was good! You knew he didn’t want to ruin this character because of how much it holds. He TRIED. And Martinet as Giuseppe saying “it’s a perfect!” Felt like he was sharing the torch with Chris. He squished all the critics doubts by saying “he’s Mario too, it’s fine. Deal with it.” Hearing the voice made me smile so wide, it was like hearing an old friend. I think he even said that doing Mario’s voice too much hurt so we don’t want him to feel any pain for our sake! We all owe Chris an apology. You did great bro

Seth Rogan: I love DK. He’s big, loud, goofy, and strong. Seth did that right and honestly idk who else would play him. Hearing Seth’s iconic laugh made me laugh, idk who can hate it. It fit DK as it kind of…sounded ape-like? The whole fight between Mario and DK was straight out of a game. I loved the interaction between DK and Mario. They’re enemies at first but soon, they respect each other as in the games. I wish that wasn’t the whole character development between two characters in the movie, I wish it was Mario & Luigi, Mario and toad, or Mario and Peach. Hell, even Mario and Bowser. But this is only the first movie so we’ll see more

Anna-Taylor Joy: not much to say about her. I think Peach was fun and I’m glad they didn’t go the “damsel in distress” or “girl boss” route. We get it, we’re becoming SOMEWHAT better in terms of shit like that but god we don’t need it every time. Peach was a badass, she cared for her kingdom and subjects, and she was sweet. That’s Peach! It wasn’t the “I don’t need no man” or forced relationship with Mario and that was good. I loved Peach’s racing outfit too and all the power ups. Peach was awesome, I’m glad they didn’t ruin her

Charlie Day: I haven’t seen much of him but wow I loved his Luigi! I always loved Luigi, he was always the b guy and he deserves a lot of love. He’s adorable. I wish Luigi had more of an interaction with Bowser. We could’ve gotten a lot of funny scenes with them together (of course it’d be fuel to the shipping fire) and it was cut too short. I mean, bowser didn’t need MUCH from Luigi, he just needed information so it wouldn’t make sense why he’d keep him around when he could throw him in the dungeon with Luma, the penguins, etc. And the whole thing with Mario and Luigi “sticking together” was nice but…they weren’t together AS much? Yes, Bowser kidnapped him but idk it didn’t really feel so emotional. Their team up at the end was amazing of course, had the biggest smile with the star music on. Luigi must be protected

Keegan-Michael Key: His Toad was good! Kind of wished we saw more of Toad and Mario together but he was the comic relief. Sucked he wasn’t in it as much but maybe next movie.

Jack Black: MY MAN. GOD HE KILLED IT. Was that any surprise? No, everyone knew Jack was gonna bring his a-game and he did. Bowser’s singing was amazing, I was cracking up during that scene. PEACHES PEACHES PEACHES aah it’s good. I loved how Bowser went from his usual scary self to a big sweetheart who just wants to love someone. Yea, he did threaten to kill Peach’s kingdom if she didn’t marry him but hey he said he wouldn’t if she agreed! You can absolutely tell Jack loved his role and that’s so important in movies for it to turn out well. Honestly, I’d say Bowser was my favorite in the whole movie! (Ngl, Bowser kinda..) Bowser was intimidating at parts, especially with Luigi. He was a lot scarier than I remembered and damn he is a power house. Im surprised that I didn’t see him utilize his shell and spin with it but whatever.

The story: yes there wasn’t much of a big plot. Do I care? Not really. It’s Mario! You don’t really need a plot per se because you already know the characters, you know the concept of Super Mario. To me, it was as if I was playing a really well animated game. It was fast, fun, and left me with a warm fuzzy feeling. The plot WAS Bowser coming, Mario and Luigi starting a company and not feeling like they’re on top. You don’t need a different story with Mario. Yes, this movie wasn’t on the level of Into the Spider-Verse or Puss in Boots like we were expecting but it didn’t need to be. I had a great time with a story or not

The sound effects: god, the little kid in me wanted to SCREAM. It felt so satisfying to hear all the sounds we hear in the games from hitting a shell, hitting the mystery box, or landing on the flag pole at the end of a level. They really hit the nail with them. And Luigi’s ringtone was GameCube!!

Oh yeah I loved Kamek’s voice. He sounded exactly how I pictured it. He was great. Loved the scene of him dressing up as Peach and getting ANGRY that he didn’t kiss Bowser

What didn’t work:

The slow motion moments: this was when I remembered “oh yea, illumination made this.” Some of the moments were fine with Mario giving Peach a side eye (with rizz). That was funny. But all the other times, it felt like the screaming goats in Thor Love and Thunder. In other words, it was used too much. To me, the slow-motion parts are just “haha, their voice is deep and slow. They move slowly. Haha funny joke.”

The songs: I did say the songs worked but they didn’t at the same time. I LOVED hearing all the familiar songs and sounds from the games. I liked the 80’s songs as Mario was made in the 80’s but it didn’t fit movie. As I said, it would’ve been better if they kept the 80’s songs in the human world and the Mario-esque songs in the Mushroom Kingdom, etc. But Illumination has gotta…illuminate I guess

The pacing: I felt like it was TOO quick. They go from Mario ending up in the Mushroom Kingdom and he finds Toad with barely an introduction and they rush to the castle. Then Mario finds Peach who just so happens to be going to the same place at the right time. There wasn’t enough time to breathe and there could’ve been so many good character interactions and development if they made it longer. We could have had more of Bowser and Luigi, Mario and Toad and Peach. I mean there are lots of characters and they have yet to introduce Yoshi, the Koopalings, and Daisy so hopefully it will be better in the second.

Illumination: I’m not too crazy with this studio. I love Despicable Me 1&2 but the rest are just meh. There were moments in the movie that were just so like this studio that it somewhat felt weird. The plumbing scene was funny but I think that is a good example. The whole thing with the dog being malicious was an Illumination thing. So were some of the models of the humans. The songs. Idk. If this movie was made by another studio like Dreamworks or Sony, maybe it would’ve been better??

Overall, I’d give this movie a 7.5/10. It had great moments and a lot going for it but there is still room for improvement. And that’s completely okay because we still have another movie. We only saw these characters on screen for ONE movie so there’s still more to be seen. I say fuck the critics, they don’t know what they’re talking about. This movie didn’t need to be woke or whatever. It almost didn’t need a plot. This movie was such a beautiful love letter to all of the Nintendo fans and I was smiling the entire time. They knew not to make it flop because of how iconic and beloved Mario is. I felt like a little kid again as I watched my favorite video game characters on screen and now I feel the need to play my Wii or switch. I look forward to seeing what they do in the next film.

TLDR: go see it. It’s a lot of fun

Also LET ME VOICE YOSHI I CAN DO HIS VOICE. IM GOING TO BE ON A TEACHER’S SALARY IM GONNA BE BROKE

[roscolate]

CAPE LUIGI CAPE LUIGI CAPE LUIGI CAPE LUIGI CAPE LUIGI CAPE–

BGM - “Please Defeat Me” - Pokémon SV

ACT 1

ACT 2

ACT 3 - 1 <<< 22 / 23 / ⚡️

“I promise to go back to my 2 to 3 day uploading schedule.” BOY WAS THAT A LIE. I underestimated how long the backgrounds would take me, much less all the damn colours, figuring out the right dialogue (I make the script up as I go 💀), the compositions, the angles, etc.

A reunion is near…

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: F.L.U.D.D. (Flash Liquidizer Ultra Dousing Device)

Debut: Super Mario Sunshine

F.L.U.D.D. was Mario's first ever Platforming Buddy! Unless you count the Lakitu Bros. from 64, but they just operate the camera and don't affect Mario's platforming moveset, so I do not. So really, F.L.U.D.D. is- hold on, I really don't want to write every individual period each time I write its name. I'm just going to leave all the periods at the end of the post and you can put them where they belong yourself, or anywhere else you think is funny. Or you can keep them, I don't mind. Put them on a bagel and tell a friend they're poppy seeds!

FLUDD is a big deal. A landmark for the series in terms of mechanics. Not that these specific mechanics returned, but the concept of a buddy granting Mario some new abilities has become a recurring thing. FLUDD even talks, and is fully voice acted! In a robot voice! Like mine! A cute and silly little robot buddy for Super Mario.

So then... why don't I absolutely LOVE it? I feel like I should! But I'm just not getting that urge to imagine it driving a kart or playing tennis like I do with far less important characters. Does it work so well as a Tool that I have a hard time viewing it as a Character? Let's See!

I think FLUDD's design is honestly kind of perfect. The two massive screws that evoke eyes are really clever, and especially great is that they give it + shaped "pupils"! Aside from that, the nozzle's funnel shape is an extremely funny shape for a mouth, and FLUDD does indeed speak out of there. Excellent head! Though I feel like the excitement fizzles out once you look past the head, because the rest is much more "equipment" than "character". That's fine, this IS a piece of equipment! It just makes it feel less like a character, when I'd like it to have a bit of a balance of both. Maybe if the handles also functioned as little feet that it could walk around on? I don't know. Maybe that would be stupid... but I do love when creature designs are stupid!

FLUDD was made by E. Gadd, but that's all the backstory we get. We never learn why it was just there on the Delfino Airstrip, and that's really weird! The perfect tool to combat the game's main conflict is just there immediately when Mario arrives. It could have been a cool little mystery, but I guess the reality is just that some Pianta ordered it when the Goop Incident happened and got express delivery. Or maybe someone already had it and was just waiting for a calamity like this to happen, to justify the purchase!

I don't need to go over everything FLUDD does, right? I'm not the Super Mario Wiki, it's not my job! I'm here for the Weird. And a weird thing is that FLUDD freaken dies.

During the final boss against Bowser's Hot Tub, FLUDD starts stuttering, as if breaking down. And then in the final cutscene... it Dies! Mario goes to it, it tells him it hopes it was of assistance, and it dies. And Mario is sad, because this was his friend. But then in the very next scene FLUDD is back! Some Toads fixed it and it's fine now. So this ends up having the emotional impact of Mario needing to change the battery on his TV remote.

Even though it's our and Mario's friend, FLUDD is still an object, a product. It's technically not just FLUDD, but A FLUDD, one of many, mass produced. I have to wonder if it actually formed any bond with Mario, or if it was a one-sided friendship. Is it even capable of friendship...?

Whatever the case, the others absolutely consider FLUDD a friend, and well, that's just so sweet. During the credits we get to see some extremely compressed pictures of Mario and friends enjoying their real vacation, and FLUDD is there with them! It's not even on Mario's back anymore, or always WITH Mario, for that matter. Sometimes it's hanging out with Peach and some Toads, sitting there independently. I think it is safe to say FLUDD is a real true friend, and likes to just Hang Out sometimes! Even better, maybe it wasn't originally sentient, but learned how to love over the course of the adventure. Such a wonderful robot thing to do!

As expected, thinking in depth about FLUDD has absolutely endeared me to it. Hooray! It's about time. Well, it's too late for FLUDD to be relevant again, probably. I'm not saying it should be a driver in Mario Kart, but I AM saying there should be a kart based on it, and I'm also saying that this kart should canonically be the FLUDD, now upgraded. This feels like something that should have happened long ago!

This has been a long post, but it is far from all FLUDD has had to discuss! So next time, I will post about FLUDD once more, and its various appearances during the GameCube days and beyond! There is milk involved at some point. Get excited to learn what milk has to do with any of this!

Here are all those periods you were promised! I hope you like them.

....................................................................................................

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

End Game 2

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, stalking, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your gaming buddy asks to meet up but it doesn’t go exactly as planned.

Characters: Andy Barber

Note: we're here to boo Andrew.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

“So, you’re coming?” Jacob’s voice quavers with excitement. You can’t imagine how he’d sound if you said no. You hate letting people down, it seems to be all you've ever done.

“Uh, yeah,” you say as you steer around the track; opting for some MarioKart over Minecraft that night, “boss says it’s no problem to get the days off. Just have to make it up after. Is... Is everything still good on your end?” 

“Oh yeah, sure thing,” he assures buoyantly, “I can’t wait. Did you still wanna split the airBnB?” 

“Actually, I got a place to stay for the night then I’ll take the early bus back,” you explain as Princess Peach knocks you off the track, “argh!” 

“Right, that’s good,” he says, “good to know you won’t be stranded out there.” 

“Mhm,” you use your boost to catch up to Peach and get your revenge. You don’t mention that Kara will be with you at the con. You just want to be sure this isn’t something wonky. “It’ll be nice to get out of town. My grandma will probably be happy to have the place to herself.” 

“Yeah,” he scoffs, “what’s her problem anyway?” 

“Just the way she is. She likes her space,” you shrug, “I don’t know, I don’t think she expected to be raising her granddaughter...” 

“Ah, yeah, I guess that would be stressful,” he says, “still, seems like you’re not too bad to be around. Got a job, go to school, all that. Think my dad would love it if I put in half as much effort.” 

“Yeah? You make him sound like a hard ass.” 

“Can be. Lawyer, so kinda his schtick,” he chuckles. 

“Oo, fancy,” you snort. Maybe if either of your parents had been lawyers, you wouldn’t be living off your grandma’s resent.  

“I guess. Never really see him that much...” he grumbles. 

“Hm, well, no winning, is there?” You mutter. 

“Not really,” he sighs and hisses, “ugh, Toad!” 

You chuckle and cross the finish line. A respectable second. You wait for him to finish and stifle a yawn. 

“Tired?” He asks. 

“Little.” 

“Me too, long day,” he groans, “neck’s killing me.” 

“Oh, what’d you do--” 

“You know, I’m-- an idiot. Was messing around on my bike.” 

“Of course,” you snicker, “well, if you don’t mind, I’m gonna sign off. I don’t wanna keep my grandma up and my head’s starting to go.” 

“Sure, I gotta get up early anyway,” he sounds less than enthused. “Good night.” 

“You too.” 

“Tomorrow?” 

“Can’t, work. Day after?” 

“Okay, I’ll make it work,” he confirms, “I’m excited about meeting up. Aren’t you?” 

“Yep,” you try not to show your doubt. You’re still not really sure about everything. 

“Can’t wait,” he rasps and the silt in his tone makes you shiver. 

“Yeah, er, bye then,” you hit end session and take off your headset, your ears tender and a bit sweaty. Even if it is awkward, at least you’ll get to hang with Kara for a bit. You haven’t seen her since grad. 

🎮

You’re already exhausted and you’re not even inside yet. The line for the convention is bustling and your excitement keeps you going as you and Kara gab away and move with the slow crawl. The sun beams down and has you sweating, though you could easily blame that on your nerves too. 

“So, this Jacob... is he cute?” She winks. 

“Kara,” you roll your eyes, “it’s not like that. Really. We just game.” 

“Oh yeah. But do you want it to be more?” She teases. 

“You know I’m not really into all that. I don’t have room for a boyfriend in my life.” 

“So boring. Never change, girlie,” she nudges you playfully. “But really, that’s smart. Calvin is too much. I’m thinking of cutting him loose.” 

“Again?” You squint. 

“Not my fault he keeps coming back,” she giggles. 

You peer around, searching out a familiar face amid the ocean of strangers. You haven’t seen Jacob yet. You’re almost hoping he doesn’t show up. Then again, why wouldn’t he? He paid for you to be here. The reminder of the fact strikes guilt in your chest. 

You pause as your eyes catch another pair, further back in the queue. An older man with a beard. He stands out among the crowd. He wears a tidy button-up where most wear graphic tees or cosplay attire. He stares for a moment before he turns away and looks down, probably at whatever kid dragged him there. 

“Well, what are you going to do if he sees you and falls in love?” Kara asks. 

“Whatever,” you roll your eyes. 

“If he’s a nerd like you, how could he not?” 

“Hey,” you frown. 

“What? You’re like the sexy gamer girl type. Isn’t that what dudes want?” She shrugs. “Let me see his pic again. He’s a skinny little thing. He’d definitely be into you.” 

“Urgh, stop,” you cross your arms. 

“Sorry, I’m only playing. You just seem so nervous, I’m trying to loosen you up.” 

“I know,” you puff, “it’s just... I should’ve just said no. This is stupid. I don’t know why I even agreed.” 

“To get out of that shithole,” she snips. “Why do you think I hauled ass the minute I popped by grad cap on?” 

“Mm, yeah, I just hope... do you think he really wants that? Maybe I gave him the wrong idea. Oh, Kar, I really didn’t mean to lead him on.” 

“No, no, I’m sure it’s nothing you did if he does. I mean, he’s probably a virgin so...” 

“That’s mean,” you pout. 

“What, so are you,” she laughs. 

“Exactly,” you shake your head and drop your arms, a buzz jittering your skirt pocket.  

You look down at yourself as you slide your phone free. That was probably a bold choice but it’s so damn hot out. Besides, your Pikachu tee is loose enough to counteract the denim sheath. You turn the screen up, shading it with your hand as you read. 

‘Sorry, not going to make it. Something came up. 🙁' 

You frown and reread the message. Really? You came all the way here, took time off of work, and he’s flaking? 

“What’s up?” Kara asks as she clicks her manicured nails impatiently and stands on her toes, trying to see past the bodies ahead. 

“He just cancelled,” you mutter and type in your reply. 

‘Oh no. Hope it’s nothing bad. Maybe another time.��� 

You hit send and drop your shoulders. You’re surprised how disappointed you are. More so about the wasted effort than anything. Even if you are a bit relieved, it’s shitty. 

“Ah, bullshit!” Kara sneers, “what the hell? What did he say?” She reaches for your phone and you hold it out of her grasp. “That fucker.” 

“It’s probably not his fault. Shit happens.” 

“Babe, you’re gonna settle for a lot of nonsense if you keep that attitude. I’d be friggin pissed if I was you. He brings you all the way here and now he’s too good for you. I bet he saw some cute girl in line and she smiled at him once so now he’s ditching,” she scowls, “I hate boys.” 

“I’m sure... it’s nothing,” you say glumly as your phone vibes again. 

‘I’m real sorry. I hope you still have a good time. Take lots of pictures.’ 

You don’t respond. You lock your phone and put it back in your pocket. It never feels good to be stood up. Even then. 

“You know what, screw him,” Kara snarls, “let’s go in there and buy you the cutest plushie you can find. Hell, maybe you can find an even cuter guy.” 

“Kar,” you warn her. 

“Fine, just the plushie. Maybe two,” she trills, “forget that loser.” 

🎮

The chaos of the convention wipes away the dark cloud over you. You’re almost thankful that Jacob gave you the opportunity to catch up with Kara. You didn’t realise how much you missed her. It’s perfect day where you can forget about your grandmother and your lame job and everything else. 

You rush around from booth to booth. You look at fanart, handmade figures, and stuffies. You’re mindful of your wallet and how empty it really is. You’ll get one thing and a snack. That’s all you can afford.  

As the hours roll by, your early morning bus ride and time spent standing out in the hot sun catch up to you. You feel your muscles starting to ache and your eyelids turning fuzzy. You yawn as you shuffle behind Kara as she waits in line to get a signature from the one D-list celeb she’s heard of. You’d get one too but it’s way too expensive. 

“Hey,” you rub your cheek, “mind if I sit and wait? I wanna grab a soft pretzel anyway.” 

“Sure,” she agrees easily, “looks like it’s gonna be a while.” 

“Want me to bring you a drink or something?” You offer. 

“Nah, just text me where you are so I can find you,” she says. 

You leave her reluctantly. You’d rather not be wandering alone through the hordes but your feet are killing you and your stomach’s been roaring for the last hour. You stand in line for the pretzel stall and get yours with cinnamon sugar and syrup. Messy but delicious. 

You find a table in the corner and settle in. You put your phone beside the napkin and tear apart the doughy goodness. Your phone lights up with a notification from the merge game you like to play and you see several other icons; missed messages. 

You focus on your snack, savouring each bite, as your eyes drift around the crowded centre. You can barely see some of the booths as hordes cluster around. Some cosplayers bat at each other with toy swords as children fight over the arcade machines. You’re overwhelmed by the sheer amount of activity all around. 

You put your head down trying to block out the lights and noise. You feel yourself getting overstimulated. It’s like when you’re in the lecture hall and suddenly you can hear every sniff, sneeze, and keystroke. You close your eyes as you wipe your fingertips on the edge of the napkin, only half-finished your pretzel. 

“Looks good,” a deep voice cuts through the blaring din. 

As you recognise the timbre, your heart squeezes and the world pinpoints at the centre of your skull. You open your eyes and slowly raise your head. You blink dumbly at the unfamiliar man stood in front of you. You think you’ve seen him before, or at least he sticks out from the typical convention attendee. 

It isn’t that he’s too old, there’s lots of older geeks hanging around but they have neckbeards and greasy combovers. His hair is tidy and his beard trimmed close. His clothing also lacks the typical Dorito dust or anime character. You remember, he was outside in the line. 

“Uh, hello?” You utter. 

“Sorry I’m late,” he says as he pulls out the chair across from you. He sits as your insides plunge. You know his voice. 

“Jacob?” You murmur in shock. How? Why? This isn’t the stringy teenager you met online. 

He nods, his jaw tensing, and he crosses an arm over the table, pointing to your half-eaten pretzel, “what’d you get on yours? I can’t decide between sweet or savoury.” 

“Who... are you?” You croak, head spinning as your eyes prick. You knew something was weird. You knew you weren’t talking to Jacob or whoever that boy was in the pictures. 

He takes a breath and lets it out slowly. As his chest deflates, you do too. He’s older than you, bigger than you, and by the looks of him, a lot better off. Why the hell would he be chatting with you? Why would he lie to you? 

“You’re right. I’m not Jacob,” he confesses, the colour draining from his face. He steeples his fingers and considers his next words carefully. You sit back and hug yourself defensively. This is fucked. “My name is Andy, Jacob is my son.” 

“Your son?” You eke out, “why-- why would you lie?” 

He cringes and takes another breath, “he was my son,” he corrects himself, “he... passed.” 

You feel like you’ve been struck. Your mouth falls open, stunned. Not only did he hide behind his son’s photos, but his dead son’s. Oh, god. You feel sick. No, you feel stupid. 

“Look, please, just hear me out. I just—it wasn’t meant to go on this long. When I first lied to you, it was supposed to be that one time. I was... I was lost. I just lost Jacob and I was going through his things. I started playing because I missed him. I wanted to feel like he was still there--” 

“No, no, you got on discord and you started talking to me. As him!” Your voice shakes and your eyes tinge. “That’s not just missing him.” 

“I know, you’re right. I lied but... I got lonely playing by myself so yes, I went onto that discord. You were nice. You didn’t call me a noob or whatever. And... and after work, looking forward to hearing your voice, it got me through a lot of pain. Being alone in that house after so long, I couldn’t cope--” 

“So you lied to me?” You stand and snatch your phone, nauseous to the core, “you manipulated me. How do you know—if you had just been you that I would’ve been any different? If you just wanted to play games, to be friends--” 

“I was scared--” 

“I don’t care if you were scared,” you hiss as you stomp forward. “You’re an adult.” 

He stands and blocks your path. You recoil, put off by his height. He’s a lot bigger on his feet. 

“Please, move or... I’ll scream,” you breathe. 

“You don’t have to do that. Just hear me out,” he pleads. 

“I don’t want to hear anything else from you, Jacob. Or Andy. Or whoever you really are,” you sneer, “move.” 

He shudders and hangs his head. He makes himself seem small as his shoulders round and he backs out of your way. You bite down and march past him.  

You need to get to a bathroom. Now. You’re going to spew up your guts. More important, you need to get yourself together before you go find Kara. She can’t know this happened. It’s too embarrassing. 

[roscolate]

BOMAAAAA THESE ARE SO GOOD 🥹🥰😍

odyssey !!

a (super) late odyssey anniversary post AND illustrations of my lovely bestie @silenzahra’s odyssey headcanons 😙

[archangeldyke-all]

RAHHHH ITS MAH BIRTHDAYYY

Sev waking reader up with head for her birthday?? Goodness😩

-🥨

happy birthday baby!!!!! i hope you're loving your day <3

men and minors dni

"babyyy." a voice singsongs.

you're having a lovely dream in which you and sevika are soaring through the clouds, hand in hand. you have no intention of waking up, no matter how inciting the voice singing happy birthday to you sounds. so, you just huff, reach out to push your wife away from you, and return to your dream.

sevika laughs as your steady snores fill the room again.

it's your birthday, and sevika wants to start celebrating with you. clearly, though, you want to spend your birthday morning sleeping in. that's fine. sevika can work with that.

she lets you sleep, preparing your favorite breakfast in the kitchen and arranging all the little gifts she's collected for you over the past few months on the dining room table.

sevika's not big on birthdays, never has been, but when it comes to you sevika's always looking for an excuse to celebrate.

so, is it a little over the top for her to be blowing up dozens of balloons? sure. but is it worth it for the way you'll get all flustered and try to hide your face in her chest? absolutely.

now though, it's been an hour and a half, and sevika's getting antsy.

she wants to wake you up and celebrate with you, shower you in affection and gifts and love, hand feed you bites of your birthday breakfast, kiss you a million times.

you're still snoring.

sevika pinches your foot under the covers. you don't move. she huffs.

"babe."

no response.

"baby, wake up. it's your birthday, i made your favorite for breakfast."

you just snore.

sevika rolls her eyes, flings her shirt off, and crawls under the covers. it takes a little bit of maneuvering, but in a few moments she's got her face between your legs.

she sighs happily as she inhales the scent of you. you're always so impatient when she's between your thighs, she takes advantage of your current sleeping state to just... soak you up. the sight of your cunt, the smell of you, the warmth of your inner thigh where she rests her head. she could probably die happily like this.

you shift in your sleep, your legs clenching a bit around her head before relaxing again. it shakes her out of her stupor, and she launches forward with the single minded intention of making you cum so hard you're too aroused to go back to bed.

she succeeds.

incredibly quickly.

you're having a strange but pleasant dream where you and sevika are attending a wedding-- the bride being jinx, the groom being a giant toad she's trained to speak english.

and right when the toad starts to say his vows, you gasp awake to the feeling of your wife's tongue buried inside of you.

"se-vika!" you gasp, throwing the blankets back and gawking down at her. she hums happily, winking at you as she sloppily makes out with your cunt. "wha- oh fuck!" you whine, collapsing against the bed again as she sucks your clit into her mouth.

"mmm... happy birthday." sevika mumbles against you.

you groan, your brain fuzzy from sleep and pleasure, your eyes heavy but snapping open with her movements. "sev." you moan. she chuckles.

"made you breakfast 'n everything." she whispers.

you thread your fingers through her hair and pull her mouth back against you. she chuckles, kisses your cunt sweetly, and then gets back to eating you like a ripe peach.

"'m gonna cum." you groan. your voice is still gravely from sleep, and sevika shudders at the sound of it. "fuck, sev, shit!" you whine as you fall apart on her tongue.

her fingers claw against your hips, keeping you pinned to her lips as you shake and shiver through your orgasm. when you push her away, she groans in disappointment.

you burst into laughter. sevika kisses a path up your body until she's hovering over you, smiling down at you.

"what's so funny?" she asks. you smirk up at her and shrug.

"happy fuckin' birthday to me i guess." you laugh.

she snorts, then swoops down to kiss you.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @realgreeniebeanie @k3n-dyll

@sevsdollette @ellieslob @xayn-xd

[palskippah]

Hi! Tried again to make a comic to draw something different :y I really had fun drawing this yipiii

It's in the Roleswap AU, where Toadette helps Peach in getting to Princess Mario so he can help her find Daisy!

BTW here's another ideas for the AU:

-Princess Mario is semi verbal and Toad was initially one of the interpreters that went with him through his days, to communicate out loud his words to the people who may not know sign language. As time passes, they become friends and then best friends (Toad always calls Mario bestie and talks about their relationship like that, he's very proud about being friends with Super Princess Mario).

-Imagine that Princess Mario goes over the top for his lil bro's anniversary and throws the biggest party each year for him (and Bowser), and they get to be known as the "Mario Parties" and by the time Peach and Daisy get lost there, it is the Mario Party 7.

>Thinking about this from the Mario Party games where Mario gestures stuff and then Toad says "it seems like Mario..." and then he says whatever Mario wants to do.

-BTW Peach is as much of a girlfailure as Mario was straight up a failure at the beginning of the Mario Movie.

-Also yeah Toad killed her but don't worry they give her a 1-up.

-ALSO YEAH PNG SAUCEPAN I gave up at the third attempt to draw it aksjdakjd

-Imagine that "-MARIO!" like when Peach shouts his name and it sounds far away [like the scene in the movie too where DK is beating Mario's ass and she's like MARIOOO- LA CAJAAA ((Idk didn't watch it in English akjsdksad)]

-Also love at first sight bc Peach's beautiful and her eyes are huge and sparkly.

[istadris]

A funny little Bowuigi idea :

Luigi never goe on adventures with Mario (shhhh let's pretend it's true here).

He hears about it and all but whenever Bowser's here kidnapping Peach he's busy elsewhere, or is sick, or is engrossed in a game to thr point of missing out on the huge dragon turtle battle right outside his window.

So when one day Luigi takes a stroll in the forest and Bowser lands right in front of him after a thorough kicking-from-the-flying-fortress-by-Mario, Luigi's reaction isn't "oh no, Bowser !!"

But "oh no, someone's hurt, I gotta help-a them!"

Bowser wakes up in a cozy little green bed (Luigi is STRONG y'all don't realize, he can carry a big turtle boi) with a guy who looks very strongly like Mario bringing him food and asking him kindly how he's doing.

Usually Bowser's reaction would be :

Roar in anger

Send everything flying

Burn everything that reminds him of Mario

Stomp his way back home

Sulk

But as soon as he starts roaring, Luigi shrieks and shoves the entire plate of food in Bowser's mouth on reflex, which shuts Bowser up long enough to listen to the Green Mario babbling about what happened and he's so sorry he startled him (Bowser scoffs) and you shouldnt move right now your shell is cracked and do you have any family I could contact so they don't worry ?

And Bowser realizes.

This little guy. This "Luigi" guy." Who seems to be Mario's biggest fan given how he dresses and gushes about him.

Doesn't.

Know.

Bowser.

...

Well, there's free food, his shell IS cracked and he doesn't want to deal with Kamek's nagging and everyone's pity after another failed plan back home.

Plus, once he's bored of the pampering, revealing the truth will be one hell of a mean prank to play on that guy.

So he gets comfortable and braces himself for some holidays being spoiled by a Mario look-alike.

...except he's cuter. Just a bit.

*

Bonus 1 : Mario doesn't come home right away because he's spending his victory vacation with Peach, and when he swings by, through a peerfect comedy of errors, he doesn't see "Luigi's guest" well or long enough to recognize

Bonus 2 : someone who DOES know Bowser (like Toad) visits Luigi to catch up on news, and the whole time they're sweating bullets while sipping their tea as Bowser is giving them the nastiest "go on, tell him, I DARE you" smirk.

Bonus 3 : Bowser didn't connect the dots about Mario and Luigi's relationship because he doesn't want to assume every guy with a moustache is related. Look at Wario and Waluigi ! Most of his own kids are adopted, after all!

[skulls-soul]

you know the van that Mario and Luigi have.

what if they lived in it… like Greg from Steven universe live in it not Vanlife Pinterest live in it

Give me luigi and Mario taking a shower at the gym cuz that’s the only way they can

Give me the boys sitting in a Walmart parking lot trying to make breakfast

Also them renovating the van little by little getting excited when they add in the most home made shit you’ve seen

One of them getting upset cuz it’s to cold and the blankets are being hogged by the other

After the boys find themselves in the mushroom kingdom and after saving the princess for the first time they’re given a small cottage on the outskirts of town since they have nowhere else to go and princess peach has to say that it’s fine and it’s the very least that she can do all the toads in town agreeing with her.

When the boys finally except the gift all of them a.k.a. Mario Luigi princess peach toadsworth toad and toadette Head over to the location

Mario and Luigi get really excited and explore the house with childlike joy princess and the toads are all enjoying them wander around enjoying the place but they slowly get a bit concerned about a couple of things at the two point out

“Luigi! The bathroom has a tub AND a shower”

“Mario look an actual stove and refrigerator”!!!

“MARIO LOOK AT THE BEDROOM”

“ oh we would definitely be able to fit two beds in here”

Peach would cut in saying something like “oh are you guys gonna turn the other room into a office?” Which would lead to Mario and Luigi  look at the princess with wide eyes asking “there’s another room?!?” Is that this moment that the new friends would start to wonder what kind of living situation they had before hand.

At some point when the exploring is all finished peach will mention about how she knows that “this might not be able to replace your old home but hopefully it is to your liking” and Mario will be like “this place is amazing by far the best that they’ve ever had” and Luigi would be like “I’ll miss the van but it will always have a special place in our hearts”

 insert peach doing the Pikachu gasp meme



[retro-system]

like in the movie i feel like he was genuinely just being nice to peach during their casual chat on rainbow road, and dk completely misread the situation. i feel like peach was kinda becoming infatuated with mario by this point, but keeping it on the down-low to focus on saving mushroom kingdom and luigi, thus shutting down dk and toad's back-and-forth about mario's chances with peach as soon as possible. and mario was tootling along between them all with that ???????? mindset. completely outta the loop.

i love the idea that mario is completely clueless about romance. like he's completely open to it he just has no idea when he's in love with someone else, let alone someone else being in love with him.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

If requests are open right now (sorry for asking this if they aren’t) could I ask for Idia, Leona, and Vil (and whomever else you want if you’d like to add more) with a Princess Peach like Reader/Y/n?

Princess Peach Reader | Yandere Twisted Wonderland

In your world, you are the staple royal to your toad-people. Bluntly stated: being kidnapped is nothing new to you and unfortunately it means the same when others attempt to do the same thing. No worries though they’re dedicated to making sure you know that:

Idia Shroud 

“Hehehe looks like I’m the villain in our platform genre. Except this time there are no stupid-hero-plumbers!”

Too many times does he relate you to a character in a vintage console game

And too many times does he find himself wanting to be in the enemy’s position

Why die trying to get a glimpse of you when he’ll just take you for himself

Of course his battleship and castle is the City S.T.Y.X

Isolated and never penetrated before except that one time

He guesses you’re not all that familiar with the current trend in the game space

The hero isn’t always who they seem and a villain can just as easily be made to be the hero

Leona Kingscholar

“You’re so weak, I almost feel bad proving you wrong.”

If he does kidnap you its well after NRC 

Sabatoging your self-made success or capitalizing off it

You have the makings of a ruler which makes for easy cooperation when he threatens informs you of his strength 

that he could quite easily use on your growing friend group

Don’t worry you’ll get to rule again when he’s successfully ruling over your heart

Vil Schoenheit

“Believe me, my love for you can’t be compared to anyone you’ve had before.”

He’s not resorting to kidnapping not unless he absolutely has to

Of course he’s already pleased you’ve got a royal background

Just means he’s pleased you already know you’re worth as his partner

Only problem now is your growing fanbase

to which you’ll sigh tiredly before plastering your smile and waving

Who better than the king of poisons himself to be your perfect partner

No worries he’ll handle executions and punishments

[batneko]

okay, time to actually type up my thoughts on this AU! With some new art to make it worth it.

for context, here's part one and part two.

so the basics are, Bowser is continually trying to conquer the city and being fought off by the bros, who do have superpowers (I thought about drawing lightning around Luigi's fist but I don't know how to make that look good in lineart) and costumes and "hero names," but don't hide their faces so they don't exactly have secret identities. It's more like being an actor with a stage name. Since they're fairly average-looking dudes they don't get recognized all the time, especially when they're apart, but Mario definitely does more often than Luigi.

But even when they're not recognized by the starbucks barista, people expect a lot of them. Not just stopping Bowser, but stopping everyday problems, rescuing cats from trees or standing in for a broken TV antenna. Eventually the pressure gets to Mario and he decides to fake his death and make a run for it. He's not really thinking clearly at the time and he regrets it almost immediately, but he can't bring himself to go back and face everyone's disappointment. He needs to figure himself out first.

He does at least contact Luigi as soon as he's out of the city to reassure him he's not dead. He doesn't tell him where he's going though, and Luigi can't contact him back, he has to wait for Mario to call, so Luigi does genuinely miss him and can fake grief when he needs to without too much prompting.

Bowser, meanwhile, was genuinely not expecting to "kill" his greatest rival. He never really wanted Mario dead, he just wanted the city! But he's not going to let this opportunity pass him by- Or so he thinks, until he's beaten into a pulp by the other hero that he usually forgot about.

Okay, fine, Bowser can still work with this. Heal up, regroup, give it another try- Aaaand this time he's ganged up on by three heroes he's never even seen before. What the heck is happening?

Turns out that without Mario's charismatic leader act keeping everyone reassured (and complacent), a bunch of people are stepping into the gap. Luigi, Peach, Daisy, probably more than one Toad or Yoshi... Bowser can't plan for this! They all have different powers, different strategies, different types of banter. He's overwhelmed.

So Bowser gets the idea that he needs just one hero to fight. Maybe with a sidekick, but still. That way he can time his cool speeches and minimize the amount he gets punched in the face. He already killed one of them, maybe if he works his way through the others one at a time he'll finally win. Eventually. Someday.

He gets the super crown disguise watch (I still haven't decided if there's a real guy whose appearance and name he is copying) and finds his first hero. Mario's sidekick. Should be the easiest one to fight, right? Bowser just needs to convince him that it's better for everyone if the city only has one hero at a time. It's about continuity. It'll reassure them. Give them a symbol.

Unfortunately for Bowser (and fortunately for us) Luigi is way too nice a guy to chase off some random bear person just for recognizing him and having Opinions about all this hero stuff. Luigi talks to him, addresses his concerns, answers his questions, and the guy is actually surprisingly willing to listen. Most people who try to tell him how to do his job don't care about facts and logic!

Next thing Bowser knows, he's been invited for coffee next week. That's... fine, right? This is progress! It's not a date, it's just getting close to his target! And it's definitely not a problem that Luigi is really cute and sweet and patient and has big blue eyes and a nice smile and the warmth of his handshake lingered for the rest of the afternoon...

Everything is totally fine! 👍