#and our reaction to this was basically just :I

[youruinedmylifebynotbeingreal]

Ok so for a moment I was disappointed because I didn’t think Corvus initiated the hug when that was something I was counting on in the first episode. But actually.

He does.

Sure, he might not be the one to pull Soren into his arms first.

But.

When Corvus runs up to Soren, he’s got his arms out. He is ready.

Soren immediately follows in kind, arms opening and ready for the hug.

But Corvus is so overjoyed (his little laugh as he’s running up kills me) just by the fact that Soren is alive, he pauses. Maybe he’s taking Soren in, reassuring himself he’s okay. Evaluating him for injury, hesitant to touch him in case he’s hurt.

Yet Corvus’s arms remain extended in a pre-hug position.

“When I heard about the attack - ”

As soon as Corvus says the word “attack,” Soren goes for it. He moves forward. He meets Corvus halfway and reaches out to pull Corvus in and complete the hug. Soren needs his rock at the reminder of the attack. He needs the thing that keeps him grounded to reality: Corvus.

“ - I was afraid you were dead!”

On the word “dead,” they come together.

Soren is Corvus’s reason for staying in Katolis, he is Corvus’s home. And Corvus needs the physical reminder that Soren is here, he is alive, even if everything else is falling apart around them.

Their eyes are shut. Just soaking each other in.

Then Soren starts talking and patting Corvus on the back, which might be one of my favorite details.

As we all have noticed, our boy Soren definitely has ADHD. He is never still.

So him patting Corvus but not letting go?

He’s starting to get antsy, but he’s not ready for the hug to end.

Honestly, the only reason I think the hug ended when it did is because Soren has his “realization” about how he wouldn’t be able to tell Corvus he was dead if he was dead that encourages him to have a big, Soren sized reaction.

So basically, not only does Corvus technically initiate the hug: he’s not even the one to end it. In fact, his hands never even leave Soren.

His hands go from hug position (see above) to hand on upper back (see lower left) to hand on lower back (see lower right).

All this to say: Corvus has fallen so hard for Soren.

And to whoever animated this: I owe you my life🫡

[bakageta]

Holiday fic 500 #1

First is @anisecandy's prompt of a SpiderVenom fic involving food:

“Sooo… baking?” Peter leaned precariously into Eddie’s personal space. He was still in costume, except for the mask left crumpled on Eddie’s worn couch, and had stopped by to say hi.

Eddie grumbled, too focused on measuring out ingredients to actually respond. Letting him into their apartment may have been a mistake. 

“It's just not what I pictured when I imagined you and food, y'know?”

“And what did you imagine?” Eddie asked before he could stop himself. 

“A year ago, I'd have said you ate rats in the sewer–” Eddie froze for a moment. They weren't there any more, but they had been. “But I figured carry-out, mostly, and pre-made bodega sandwiches. Basically what I eat when Aunt May isn't feeding me.”

“You are not incorrect in that assumption. I eat pre-prepared food when I have the funds.” He paused as the symbiote began adding the dry ingredients into the wet, stirring as its tendril slowly shook the flour mixture from one bowl to another. “I eat canned foods otherwise.”

“That sounds pretty sad.” Peter had settled on the ceiling while Eddie wasn’t watching. At least he was out of the way. “Not that I’m saying you’re a sad person!”

“I did not assume you were. Thanks to my other, my eating habits diverge quite strongly from the average human.” He smirked. “I only eat once a day.”

Peter’s face scrunched. “Why?”

Perhaps that wasn’t something to be proud of? “It eases the burden of supporting me on my other.”

The scrunch eased everywhere but Peter’s forehead. A hand rose up to his chin in a display of thought. “You mean you don't actually have to eat?”

“Technically. Earth doesn't have an abundance of the necessary nutrients freely available so it isn't viable long term.” And Peter didn't need to be told how they'd learned that, though he could likely infer. “We are, at minimum, an obligate chocolate-ivore in any case.”

“Chocolate has the stuff it needs?”

“It has the ‘stuff’ I need to make the nutrients my other needs,” Eddie corrected. The batter was adequately mixed, smooth and brown. All that was left was to fold the chocolate and peanut butter chips in and bake.

“Weird.”

“Says the man who eats sticks of butter as snacks.”

“And I don’t deny that that's weird!”

Eddie spared Peter a disbelieving look before returning to his baking. The various chips mixed in with ease, the multiple pans–Eddie had made a triple batch considering the appetites involved-were greased, and the oven was preheated. 

“I don't!”

“Of course.” Thanks to his other's nonstick tendrils, the batter was easily divided between the pans.

“What're you making anyway?” Peter segued awkwardly. 

“Peanut butter chip brownies.”

“I love peanut butter,” Peter said with more intensity than necessary. “What are they for?”

“Anniversary.” Surely Peter hadn't forgotten. He himself had mentioned the Eddie he'd known a year ago. 

“Who's?” Peter’s head canted at an angle like a confused dog. It looked ridiculous upside-down. 

For a moment, Eddie considered telling Peter to guess. 

Nice, the symbiote chided. 

“Ours,” Eddie said simply, turning back to the brownies so he didn't have to see Peter’s reaction. 

“Ours? What– when– I–,” Peter stammered after a significant pause.

“The anniversary of our truce. It struck me as something worth commemorating.”

“Oh… yeah.” Eddie heard the warmth enter Peter’s voice, could imagine the brief quirk of a smile. “I guess you’re right.”

[venstm]

I want to preface this by saying that I am holding myself accountable for not stepping up and either breaking off the friendship sooner or defending myself properly. As it stands even now I am not someone who copes well with confrontation and would rather stay as far away from it as possible. I’m speaking now because other people are coming forward with their stories and experiences. Whilst I have very few actual screenshots of conversations please understand that the interactions I’m discussing impacted me quite a lot mentally. It’s up to you to decide if you think I’m overreacting but by the end of those six months I had basically decided I no longer had a place in the rpc where I was welcomed after losing that friendship. I’ll be putting this under a read more so look at your own discretion. I won’t be speaking about this again after this.

If terios / ty sees this and decides they wish to unblock me and speak about it in order to see these feelings discussed and resolved im okay with that and if anyone else who has been in a similar situation needs someone to talk to or discuss it with in also open to that.

At the beginning of our friendship things were pretty intense and feeling like you were the main writing partner for someone who had already established themselves a place in the rpc was such a good feeling ? It’s like you really belong and you have someone who is so invested in your portrayal that you feel really important. There were many times where this once good feeling became tarnished by negativity, bitterness and what to me, felt like being bullied or belittled.

I’ll touch on a few things I really do remember quite clearly and be understanding that my adhd / ptsd and other things impact my capacity to retain information all the time I try to be very clear with this when talking with mutuals to avoid them becoming frustrated when I don’t remember everything all the time. they would tell me I wasn’t listening or paying attention when I tried to explain this.

there was a lot of time monopolising that I ended up enabling, this one in particular was mentioned to me by my partner who ended up feeling like I really distanced myself from them and even when I did want / try to spend time with them terios’ reaction would always be to change their tone to speaking bitterly or giving off this change of energy and if you recognise it you know it’s the sort where you’ve done something wrong and you need to fix it immediately.

There were also times where other friends became an issue, terios had problems with someone I was interacting with on dash. At the time I wanted to be in their corner because we were really close, they were my closest friend but these people had also been nothing but nice to me and I didn’t have issues with them. This tension went on for a while until terios let me know that I was two faced for not taking their side fully and I ended up blocking them which I thought was the right answer to appeasing someone who was upset. Yes, this was my fault I should have said no but they were a really important friend to me and I wanted them to feel like they were heard and understood. In the end I lost both of those friends and another friend who told me that if I continued to always take terios’ side in arguments like that I would have no one else left but them in the end.

It also happened when I mentioned that I was watching things with my mutual, we had only just started writing again after not speaking for a long time and terios was instantly making comments about it, usually vague and never good and when I finally said hey you know this isn’t cool to be saying this their response was just that I should have told them that sooner.

They were always unpleasant about Gepard ships that weren’t ours and I don’t know if that was because they just had a bias or not but I remember plotting an almost au verse with a firefly writer and dropping it because they were telling me when and how would that happen why is this something you’re writing ? basically implying that I owed it to some how justify what I was deciding to write for my muse ?

This also happened when I was creating an au for Gepard around being a vampire hunter I was so excited about it and I wanted to tell them and their response was to pick it apart reminding me oh this doesn’t make sense for Gepard’s canon age or this doesn’t make sense for his family and whilst I get caring about canon it really made me feel ? like my spark had just been squashed something I was so excited about just being torn to shreds completely and I never spoke about it again, tobias was there when this happened I had just came home from the gym in tears because I was so upset about it.

As those who interact with me know I am someone who is always earnestly trying to expand my vocabulary and learn new ways to incorporate cool stuff into my writing and there was one time one time when I used a word wrong and I did apologize for it and they ended up bringing it up over and over again for three months and whilst it was a joke in their eyes I don’t doubt it really just made me not want to try to improve my writing anymore and minimised myself to be someone they would approve of.

it also felt like anytime I began to get the confidence to bring up how I was feeling that it was turned around to make me feel worse or shit and like the whole situation was my fault rather than looking at it and both taking accountability and working to find a solution. I found this so challenging because so many times I left feeling like I was truly in the wrong because they had told me I was.

SC:

The last thing I will mention is that they will jump between gepard writers quite frequently. I wasn’t on the receiving end of this but I do know that when they blocked me only a day later then were dming a mutual and friend of mine who they had all but ghosted for those six months asking to write again. While this isn’t the worst thing ever I can only imagine how shitty that must feel and I know when they spoke to me and I said this it really hit home for them that they had been second best for those whole six months despite being there before me. This has happened with other Gepard writers too not just me and that person.

In the end a lot of this shit could have been amended if I told them your behaviour is shitty and it’s making me feel like shit but who wants to be put in a situation with a friend or writing partner where they feel like they have to make that choice.

I still do think terios is a good writer and they’re committed to the sampo they’re shaping but there are ways to interact with people that are kinder and not always with this undertone of being nasty or mean or spiteful. Again, if they or anyone else does want to talk to me about this they can and I trust that everyone can decide who they want to write with themselves. I just want my feelings and story to be heard and others to know they can speak up too.

[defire]

As an abuse survivor, you are just fetishizing child abuse. Plain and simple. Call it a coping mechanism or a power take-back all you want, but it's just an excuse to write porn about child abuse. I pity people like you, truly, I do. I can only pray that you eventually see a therapist about your internalized pedo behavior.

Cw: RANCID ask ⬆️

I'm so glad you brought this up because I don't like to speak for people like you--I'd rather combat these opinions directly.

Since you're praying, I'll feel free to make biblical allusions. (Tw)

First, the word "fetish". My opinion: I don't find fetishes or porn too helpful for processing trauma--it's more like exposure therapy. At some point you do need to actually grieve and process what happened. I don't judge those who do that (you're not hurting anybody♥️), but that's not what Survivor Fiction is for.

When you're judging whether something is bad or good, you can use the "tree by its fruits" concept. Basically, if a tree produces good fruit, it's a good tree. If it produces bad fruit, it's a diseased/bad tree.

So let's look at what Survivor Fiction does for survivors specifically.

It brings healing. I (a new author!) have already received five testimonies that have said how much my writing helped them move through some of their trauma and see things in a different, calmer way.

Survivor Fiction brings peace. A surprising amount of the community--90.5% in a poll involving 1,543 voters--use whump stories to go to sleep at night. (Many trauma survivors have difficulty sleeping from flashbacks. Fiction along the same lines can offer an appropriate sense of distance from the fear.)

It helps disabled people. It appears that a strong majority of our community is autistic. Part of the diagnosis is emotional dysregulation. We need to be walked through how to do things in great detail. Survivor Fiction often walks the reader through the process of trauma, reaction, ptsd, and recovery.

It spreads awareness. Survivor fiction is often more accurate to real-life abusive situations instead of glossing it over--in other words, LYING--about what goes on. This can bring a 3rd party perspective to a current victim too, giving them the understanding that they are being abused and need to escape if possible.

For a more thorough explanation of why fiction about survivors is good and necessary, see this post.

Okay, so would "bad fruit" look like? Do you see any of the following from our community? ↙️

Doing these things in real life

Being generally hurtful of others

Hurting children in real life

Harming emotions by pushing unwanted content to people who would be triggered by it? (Quite the opposite, we tend to post exhaustive content warnings before the content.)

Something else that's actually wrong and not just a thought crime?

And here's the fruit of your words, which I'm sure we all heard the jist of many times before:

You encourage covering up evil. Trying to hide fiction that more accurately describes pain, abuse, and PTSD means hiding the truth. Stifling the exposure of just how evil it is to abuse someone like this. The righteous walk in the light, but the wicked hide their deeds in the darkness.

Your words are shaming. Shame causes pain to fester and act out in harmful ways, such as repeating abuse cycles, self-harm, and dangerous overreactions. Christian ideology here--shame is what caused Adam and Eve to hide from God.

You are lying. You implied that we harm people in real life without any reason to think so. And also implied that we want to be in the aggressor's position. Generally speaking we identify most with the victim.

Referencing Christianity here, if you're christian--Your words condemn the Bible. The bible is full of stories much darker than most of what is written here. You'll read about rape, and the cannibalism of one's own children in Lamentations, among other things.

You're hurting yourself. You will be judged with the measure you judge others with. This is because if you judge others harshly for their thoughts, you'll instinctively judge yourself just as harshly. You end up hurting yourself and others over something that wasn't even doing any harm in the first place.

Causing confusion. What you said was illogical. If it's fiction where the damage occurs, we should be blaming the fictional aggressor--not the writer reporting it. If it's reality where the damage occurs, we should be blaming real criminals--not the journalist. The truth is that writing about survivors isn't generally harmful.

In short, you're creating a lot of problems and not helping. Did this ask come from a loving place?

This answer I'm giving, does.

[pixiecaps]

posted this playlist a year ago today so i thought i’d be fun to explain the songs i chose. below i put a section of the songs that i really like and also translate the lyrics either into english or spanish so enjoy :3

Track 1: Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want - Deftones

“So for once in my life. Let me get what I want. Lord knows it would be the last time. Lord knows it would be the first time”

Traducción: “Así que por una vez en mi vida. Déjame tener lo que quiero. Dios sabe, que sería la ultima vez. Dios sabe, que sería la primera vez.”

the song is basically someone who has gone through a lot of despair pleading to be allowed the little bit of happiness theyve gotten after a real rough life. with qroier i feel like he acknowledges he loses everything and everyone and its like him pleading in the song for this one exception. this song is also a cover of the original version by the smiths but i felt like the deftones version captured more of the sound and emotions qroier would feel expressing the sentiment. they also slightly change some lyrics like in that final verse they change from “lord knows it would be the first time” which is repeated twice in the smiths version to instead “lord knows it would be the last time” and then finally “lord knowing it be the first time.” which really fucking adds to how hopeless and blunt it all feels. the way i interpret line change is you know this is going to be the last time something good happens to me so its simultaneously the first and last for this person and theyre still begging for it while being aware of that.

Track 2: All I Think About Now - Pixies

“I remember we were happy. That’s all I think about now. If you have any doubt. I want to thank you anyhow.”

Traducción: “Recuerdo que fuimos feliz. Eso es todo en lo que pienso ahora. Si tienes alguna duda. Quiero darte las gracias de cualquier manera.”

this song for me is about jaiden and bobby and the family roier had with them. it’s like an after reflection of what they had and an apology to jaiden and bobby and himself in a way. just qroier being stuck in the past and feeling like he could’ve been so much better because he “failed” when maybe he isnt the judge of that. i really do imagine this as a conversation with jaiden in my head.

Track 3: And I Lover Her - Kurt Cobain

“A love like ours will never die. As long as I hold you near me.”

Traducción: “Un amor como lo nuestro nunca morirá. Mientras te tenga cerca de mi.”

another cover. i think its obvious the type of sound im going for and i really just wanted certain musicians to have a spot on the playlist. the way kurt sings this one was so perfect for roier that there was no way it didn’t get added. this one is a song dedicated to how qroier feels about cellbit. #1 spiderbit warrior reporting for duty.

Track 4: Blow Out - Radiohead

“In my mind and nailed into my heels. All the time killing what I feel. And everything I touch turns to stone.“

Traducción: “En mi mente y clavado en mis talones. Todo el tiempo mantando lo que siento. Y todo lo que toco se convierte en piedra.”

this one for me nails qroier’s feelings of feeling like everything he does and touches fucks up. captures the feeling pretty well.

Track 5: Otoño / Invierno - The Space Ocean

“Mi cuerpo duele otra vez. Está cansado de correr hacia eso que nunca podrá tener. Todo se empieza a desvanecer.”

Translation: “My body hurts again. It's tired of running towards what I’ll never be able to have. It's all starting to fade away.”

for me this song is a reaction to bobbys death particularly thinking of the timeframe after the rescue bobby mission and the day in the pool that he spent hours in dissociating. this song sorta captures how i perceive roiers feelings in that moment and what was going through his head. i really like the last part of that verse cause it all did begin to fade when bobby was confirmed never coming back. everything he had built after he had lost so much in the betrayal, his family, jaiden, his kid, his home, everything just slowly faded away and i imagine it felt familiar. he had experienced this already with spreen and missa etc. its a cycle he seems to be unfortunately tied to.

Track 6: Del Otro lado - Aevnu

“Qué va a pasar ahora que nada sucedió. Qué va a pasar ahora que somos tú y yo. Volteame a ver y dime qué voy a estar. Con todo esto creo que voy a enloquecer. Y me hundo en lo profundo de este mundo y solo pienso en ti. Solo pienso en ti. Y me comen los segundos. Ya no escucho solo pienso en ti. Solo pienso en ti.”

Translation: “What's going to happen now that nothing happened. What's going to happen now that it's just you and me. Turn to me and tell me that I'm going to be okay. With all this I think I'm going to go crazy. And I sink deep into this world and all I think about is you. All I think about is you. And the seconds are eating me up. I can’t hear anymore I just think of you. I only think of you.”

qroier uncertainty. post bobby death. early spiderbit. roier needing that saving from drowning in his own misery and finding comfort in cellbits company. just a lot of sadness mixed emotions and falling in love. also i did not realize how indie this song was until i couldn’t find lyrics anywhere and had to transcribe it myself to pick a verse i like kkkkkkkkkkk.

Track 7: Espacio Pequeño - Princesa Cereza

“Te siеnto como un grito bien guardado que me abraza еntre suspiros. Con tus dedos tocando mi piel. Amárrame y enrédame a tus ojos no me sueltes te lo pido. Aunque finjamos que todo está bien (no lo está).”

Translation: “I feel you like a well-kept scream that embraces me between sighs. With your fingers touching my skin. Tie me up me and entangle me in your eyes don't let me go I beg you. Even if we pretend that everything is fine (it's not).”

yet another little love song about cellbit. also more misery while loving. spiderbit really is a lot of we’re constantly going through so much pain and bullshit but we have each other. that’s whats keeping them both afloat.

Track 8: No Me Siento Mejor - Panico

“Cierro los ojos y escapo a ese lugar para no hundirme más. Pero esta sombra no me abandonará y el tiempo no se detiene jamás. No me siento mejor.”

Translation: “I close my eyes and I escape to that place so I don’t sink any deeper. But this shadow will not leave me and time never stops. I don’t feel better.”

incredibly short song. this one is more focused on the grief qroier felt around bobby’s death and again i go back to thinking about his day in the pool where spends so many hours there. i can picture him eyes closed floating in the water and thinking about that one day in the rose fields with bobby and jaiden to comfort himself but when he opens his eyes he can feel that grief stuck with him now and time is still going no matter how much he wishes for it to stop.

Track 9: Resentment - A Day To Remember

“No, I can't stop feeling like every day's exactly the same. With a one track mind I don't think I can change. Trapped in memories, stuck on replay, replay, replay.”

Traducción: “No, no puedo dejar de sentir que cada día es exactamente igual. Con una mente unidireccional que no creo que pueda cambiar. Atrapado en los recuerdos, atrapado en la repetición, repetición, repetición.”

you know. qspreen. and roiers issues with his revenge grudge anger. resentment. argh.

Track 10: Honey - Hole

“Why wasn’t I good enough to save you from destruction? And your end and my beginning, oh, they need no introduction.”

Traducción: “¿Por qué no fui lo suficientemente bueno para salvarte de la destrucción? Y tu final y mi principio, oh, no necesitan introducción."

bobby death song. no one talk to me

Track 11: I Guess - Mitski

“It's been you and me since before I was me. Without you, I don't yet know quite how to live. If I could keep anything of you I would keep just this quiet after you.”

Traducción: “Hemos sido tú y yo desde antes de ser yo. Sin ti, todavía no sé muy bien cómo vivir. Si pudiera conservar algo de ti me quedaría con este silencio después de ti.”

mandatory mitski inclusion. this one to me is sorta a dedicated song to the family structure roier had with bobby and jaiden. it’s a goodbye to them and a thank you.

Track 12: Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing - Set It Off

“So tell me how you're sleeping easy? How you're only thinking of yourself? Oh, show me how you justify telling all your lies like second nature. Listen, mark my words, one day (one day) you will pay, you will pay. Karma's gonna come collect your debt.”

Traducción: “Dime, ¿Cómo duermes tranquilo? ¿Cómo piensas solamente en ti? Muéstrame cómo justificas diciendo todas tus mentiras como segunda naturaleza. Escucha, marca mis palabras, un día (un día) pagarás, pagarás. El karma vendrá a cobrar tu deuda.”

qspreen song yayyy betrayal yayyy qroier anguish and anger yayyy revenge yayyy!!!!!

Track 13: Hurt - Nine Inch Nails

“What have I become? My sweetest friend, everyone I know goes away in the end.”

Traducción: “En qué me he convertido? Mi dulcísimo amigo, todos a quienes conozco se van al final.”

just qroier depression. his pain.

Track 14: Out Of Control - She Wants Revenge

“We can't slow down even if we tried. If the record keeps spinning so will I. She likes disco and tastes like a tear. Tells me don't stop dancing and she's pulling me near.”

Traducción: “No podríamos detenernos incluso si lo intentáramos. Si la canción continúa girando yo igual. Le gusta la discoteca y sabe a lágrima. Diciéndome ‘no te detengas’ y acercándome a ella.”

this one simply put is a melissa song. like from the pov of someone at casualonas dancing with her. iconic.

Track 15: ¿Dónde Estás? - Denso

“¿Dónde estás? ¿Adónde irás? No te puedo encontrar y no sé qué hacer. Si esté bien buscarte otra vez.”

Translation: “Where are you? Where will you go? I can't find you and I don't know what to do. If it's okay to look for you again."

as the title explains just a song that in my head roier sings it about cellbit after he leaves him on the island and hes like where are you? i also like that the last part of that line says again cause for spiderbit it is the second time qro has to look for cellbit and hes almost asking like you left me again will it be alright if i look for you again? the answer is yes.

Track 16: Señorita Revolución - Bruses

“Cuando ella camina la poesía está en la calle. Y le parte su madre a cualquier wey miserable. Si la vez pasando más te vale ser amable. Y si no rompan todo que esta morra esta que arde”

Translation: “When she walks, poetry is in the street. And she'll beat the shit out of any miserable guy. If you see her having a bad time you better be kind. And if you don't, break everything, cause this bitch is on fire.”

another melissa song everyone cheer. shes a badass and im in love with her what else can i say?

Track 17: Maneater - Daryl Hall & John Oates

“I wouldn't if I were you. I know what she can do. She's deadly, man, she could really rip your world apart. Mind over matter. Oh, the beauty is there, but a beast is in the heart.”

Traducción: “No lo haría si fuera tú. Sé lo que puede hacer. Ella es mortal, hombre, podría destrozar tu mundo. Mente sobre materia. Oh, la belleza está ahí, pero una bestia está en el corazón.”

melissa again. yay!!!! ^_^ i think perfectly describes the tricking qquackity situation melissa is a man eater!!!!!!!

Track 18: Turista - Cazzeros

“Me encuentro en todos lados menos dónde quiero estar. Se siente tan vacío tener que volver a empezar. Soy un turista de emociones. Sin rumbo y sin soluciones. No quiero regresar siempre al mismo lugar.”

Translation: “I find myself everywhere but where I want to be. It feels so empty to have to start over. I am a tourist of emotions. Without direction and without solutions. I don't want to always return to the same place.”

the song kinda focuses on someone who feels like a wanderer without direction and purpose really and i think that applies to roier especially with his feelings. this ones fun to read into.

Track 19: Demolition Lovers - My Chemical Romance

“And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood. And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down. And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down. I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood. I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever.”

Traducción: Mientras caigamos, en esta piscina de sangre. Mientras nos acariciemos las manos, mientras caemos. En esta piscina de sangre, mientras caigamos. Veré tus ojos, en esta piscina de sangre. Nuestras miradas se encontrarán, lo prometo para siempre.”

whenever i listen to this song i so vividly think of qroier and qcellbits conversation right before purgatory where they agree go down that path together and theyre a sacrificial mess and theyre willing to do anything and theyre in it together. thats what this song captures for me and just like the song it does feel like their death and the downfall you know? theyre in that pool of blood together.

Track 20: Si No Te Hubieras Ido - Marco Antonio Solis

“No hay nada más difícil que vivir sin ti. Sufriendo en la espera de verte llegar. El frío de mi cuerpo pregunta por ti. Y no sé dónde estás. Si no te hubieras ido, sería tan feliz.”

Translation: “There is nothing more difficult than living without you. I’m suffering in the wait of watching you return. The chills of my body ask for you. and I dont know where you are. If you hadn’t left me, I’d be so happy.”

this one doesnt need much of an explanation. cinta one song. spiderbit. roier sadness and yearning and longing and desperation over cellbit. the usual. i actually did a whole post breaking down this song here!

Track 21: Siempre Te Voy a Querer - Arroba Nat

“Perdón por no estar a tu lado. En mi mente yo te llevo a diario. Son tantos recuerdos que guardo en mi corazón. Siempre te voy a querer. Y espero que el tiempo a mi lado no sea tan malo porque soy difícil de entender.”

Translated: “Sorry for not being by your side. In my mind I carry you daily. There are so many memories that I keep in my heart. I will always love you. And I hope the time by my side wasn’t so bad because I'm hard to understand.”

this one for me a song dedicated to bobby. particularly after losing him and roier sorta just reflecting. longing for a past you cant get back even.

Track 22: Crecer - Las Ligas Menores

“Está muy mal si ya nada de verdad me importa? Está muy mal si ya no confío en nadie? Está muy mal si ya no creo en ciertas cosas? Como el cielo es azul y el odio no duele.”

Translated: "Is it very bad if nothing really matters to me anymore? Is it very bad if I don't trust anyone anymore? Is it very bad if I no longer believe in certain things? Like the sky is blue and hate doesn't hurt."

lets give a round of applause to post betrayal depression.

Track 23: The Blood - The Cure

“Tell me who doesn't love what can never come back. You can never forget how it used to feel. The illusion is deep its as deep as the night. I can tell by your tears you remember it all.”

Traducción: “Dime quién no ama lo que no puede volver. No puedes olvidar nunca cómo se sentía. La ilusión es profunda tan profunda como la noche. Puedo darme cuenta, por tus lágrimas, que lo recuerdas todo.”

longing and nostalgia. and what if i said this was a song about qspreen. particularly about roiers memories with him and inability to let go of the past. being unable to move on.

Track 24: Un Amor Violento - Los Tres

“Cuando por primera vez te vi supe que el cielo era para ti. Y para mí. Y para ti y para mí. Nunca más podré dormir, nunca más podré soñar con nadie que no seas tú. Gastaré toda mi vida en comprar la tuya. Gastaré toda mi vida. Y más.”

Translated: “When I saw you for the first time, I knew heaven was made for you. And for me. For you and for me. I could never sleep again, I could never dream again with anyone that isn't you. I will spend my whole life in buying yours. I will spend my whole life. And more.”

cellbit. song about cellbit. roier in love. so in love.

Track 25: Bleed Out - The Mountain Goats

“There was a chance we'd make it through this. It's safe to say now that we've missed it. And I won’t ever lose hope and I haven’t lost hope. I’m just realistic. I will go down punching, but I will go down. And my corner men won’t bring me back around. Bleed out, I'm gonna bleed out.”

Traducción: "Había una posibilidad de que saliéramos de ésta. Es seguro decir ahora que la hemos perdido. Y nunca perderé la esperanza y no la he perdido. Simplemente soy realista. Caeré a puñetazos, pero caeré. Y mis esquineros no me traerán de vuelta. Desangraré, me desangraré.”

roiers constant struggle with the federation and acknowledging the likely morbid end. this ones fun to read into.

Track 26: Blood & Fire - Type O Negative

“Moi cherie, you remain a mystery to me. I see your face in every flame. With no answers I have only myself to blame. Of all the women that I have known - they're not you. I'd rather be alone.”

Traducción: "Moi cherie, sigues siendo un misterio para mí. Veo tu rostro en cada llama. Sin respuestas, sólo puedo culparme a mí mismo. De todas las mujeres que he conocido - no son tú. Prefiero estar solo.”

spiderbit song particularly after cellbit stayed on the island and roiers sorta rage. usually with these songs i picture a music video in my head and with the lyric of the flame i always imagine it showing the flame from all of cellbits cinematics. directing a whole music video in my head with every reference in the world.

Track 27: Si Yo No Te Tengo a Ti - Hombres G

“Yo no tengo nada que me haga sonreir. Nadie que me abrace fuerte y me haga feliz. No tengo nada que hacer. No tengo porque vivir. No tengo nada de nada, si no te tengo a ti. Solo quiero que estés cerca de mí.”

Translated: “I don’t have anything that makes me smile. Nobody to hug me tightly and that makes me happy. I have nothing to do. I don't have a reason to live. I have nothing at all, if I don't have you. I just want you to be near me.”

more roier depression over cellbit leaving him.

Track 28: Un Millón de Primaveras - Vicente Fernández

“Te molesta aguanta por favor. Te lo juro estoy a punto de olvidarte. Solo falta un millón de primaveras. Unos cuantos siglos solo he de adorarte. Solo falta un millón de primaveras. Después de eso ya no vuelvo a molestarte.”

Translated: “It bothers you, please bear it. I swear to you, I am just about to forget you. All that’s left is a million springs. Just a few centuries is all I need to adore you. All that’s left is a million springs. After that, I will not bother you again.”

this ones on the playlist cause its what he sang to bobby during día de los muertos and i think about that a lot. this song is about a father and son relationship specifically as a tribute after the musician who produced and wrote the song lost his son (he doesnt sing it however) so the fact qroier sang it to bobby sorta eats me alive and makes me sob.

Track 29: The Hand That Feeds - Nine Inch Nails

“You're keeping in step in the line. Got your chin held high and you feel just fine. Cause you do what you're told. But inside your heart it is black and it's hollow and it's cold. Just how deep do you believe? Will you bite the hand that feeds? Will you chew until it bleeds?”

Traducción: “Mantienes el paso en la línea. Mantienes tu frente en alto y te sientes muy bien. Porque haces lo que se te dice. Pero por dentro tu corazón es negro y esta vacio y es frio. ¿Qué tan profundo crees? ¿Morderás la mano que te da de comer? ¿La masticaras hasta que sangre?”

anti federation qroier sentiment song. this song itself is political so its fitting.

Track 30: Película - Perras On The Beach

“Quiero mil vidas. Al lado tuyo moriría. Pero de verdad esto es al final. Amor profundo. Pero la verdad te quiero hasta el final de este bello mundo. Me han apagado. No tengo el control. Ya no se ni como me siento.”

Translated: "I want a thousand lives. By your side I would die. But the truth is: this is, at the end, deep love. But the truth is: I love you until the end of this beautiful world. I have been turned off. I do not have the control anymore. I don't even know how I feel anymore."

i like to imagine roier singing this song during purgatory about cellbit particularly when hes with green gay ninjas and just fondly missing cellbit and reflecting on how much he loves him.

Track 31: Lo Que Construimos - Natalia Lafourcade

“Esta historia terminó, no existe. Lo que un día construimos, se ha esfumado. Pareciera que es más fácil dejarnos. Pero eres un fantasma conmigo caminando. No creas que no valió la pena. No creas que no eres importante. Al contrario, yo te amé con toda el alma. No creas que no valió la pena. No creas que lo perdimos, esto que nos duele. Aunque nos duele, es solo nuestro.”

Translated: “This story has ended, it no longer exists. What we had one day built has gone up in smoke. It seems easier for us to leave each other but you’re a ghost walking along with me. Don't think it wasn't worth the effort. Don't think you aren't important. On the contrary, I loved you with all my soul. Don't think it wasn't worth the effort. Don't think that we lost it. This pain of ours, even though it hurts us, it's ours alone.”

The song talks about the end of something two people built together so this is qroier and qjaiden for me. the family they built is gone and it’s the end of their story isnt it?

Track 32: Esta Es Pa No Pensar - Sioqué

“Así no puedes seguir, tienes que pensar en ti. No saben como estoy. No saben como estoy cuando estoy sola. Cuando estoy sola. No dejan de decir que la vida sigue por ahí quiero irme de aquí. Yo quiero irme de aquí. Cuando estoy sola. Cuando estoy sola.”

Translated: “You can’t continue like this, you have to think of yourself. They don’t know how I am. They don’t know how I am when I’m alone. When I’m alone. They won’t stop saying that life keeps going I want to get out of here. I want to get out of here. When I’m alone. When I’m alone.”

this song focuses on themes of addiction and more generally people not noticing how much you may be struggling when youre alone. being at a point where you’re disregarding everything including your health and no one coming to save you. that level of low just reminds me of qroier despite him not actually dealing with any type of addiction. more-so the mentally spiraling whilst alone and no one noticing or coming to save you.

Track 33: La Muerte Chiquita - Café Tacvba

“Dame la muerte chiquita. Antes del último sueño. Una cosa a Dios yo pido. Un segundo ser su dueño. La venganza es cosa dulce. Y este machete que tengo es por si alguien le hizo daño. Que yo por usted me muero. Es por si alguien le hizo daño. Que yo por usted... Dicen que usted trae las sombras y por dentro está toda herida. Por una noche en su lecho soy capaz de dar la vida.”

Translated: “Give me death, little one. Before the last sleep. I ask one thing of God. To be your owner for one second. Vengeance is a sweet thing. And this machete that I have is in case someone has harmed you. Because for you I would die. It's in case someone has harmed you. Because for you I would… They say that you bring the shadows and inside are all hurt. For one night in your bed I'm capable of giving my life.”

another spiderbit song focused on qroier willing to give it all for cellbit and to protect him. and being down bad tremendously.

Track 34: Knives Out - Radiohead

“I want you to know. He's not coming back. Look into my eyes. I'm not coming back. So knives out. Catch the mouse. Don't look down. Shove it in your mouth.”

Traducción: “Quiero que sepas. Que él no va a volver. Mírame a los ojos. Yo no voy a volver. Entonces cuchillos fuera. Atrapa al raton. No mires hacia abajo. Mételo en tu boca.”

this song can be interpreted in a lot of ways but to me ive always listened to it under the lens of someone close to you dying. in the case of qroier its about bobby to me. and the violent aspects of the song reminded me a lot of purgatory for roier. particularly how with bobby’s death roier never came back in a way. he was never the same again. all he craved after that was vengeance.

alternatively you can look at this song completely differently and make it about qroier and doied and that completely changes the way you listen to it. very fun song.

Track 35: Selfless - The Strokes

“Please don't be long, 'cause I want you now. I don't have love without you around. Life is too short, but I will live for you.”

Traducción: “Por favor, no tardes, porque te quiero ahora. No tengo amor sin ti cerca. La vida es muy corta, pero viviré por ti.”

another song focusing on roiers devotion for cellbit particularly after cellbit has left him after purgatory.

Track 36: Paint It, Black - The Rolling Stones

“I look inside myself and see my heart is black. I see my red door I must have it painted black. Maybe then, I'll fade away. And not have to face the facts. It's not easy facing up. When your whole world is black.”

Traducción: “Miro dentro de mí y veo quе mi corazón es negro. Veo mi puеrta roja, debo tenerla pintada de negro. Tal vez entonces me desvanezca y no tenga que enfrentar los hechos. No es fácil enfrentarlo cuando todo tu mundo esta negro.”

more qroier depression particularly thinking of whenever he’d switch his skin to the one with the black hoodies.

Track 37: Brain Stew - Green Day

“My mind is set on overdrive. The clock is laughing in my face. A crooked spine, my senses dulled. Past the point of delirium. On my own, here we go.”

Traducción: "Mi mente está puesta en sobrecarga. El reloj se ríe en mi cara. Una columna torcida, mis sentidos embotados. Pasado el punto del delirio. Todo solo... allá vamos.”

qroier during purgatory song. that being one of the first times hes actually on his own and i feel like song capture his attitude during that moment. i also like it since irl roier was sick so i kinda like to imagine qroier was also feeling like shit not just from the fighting but cause he was a little ill himself.

Track 38: Reuse The Cels - Car Seat Headrest

“Will it be like before? Will I lose you again? If we reuse ourselves could there be any other end?”

Traducción: “Sera como antes? Te perderé otra vez? Si nos volvemos a utilizar podría haber otro final?”

this is written as a breakup song but i like to think of it in the context of qroier getting pepito and all the doubts he had about him considering everything he went through with bobby. reusing in this context for me would be using himself as parent of an egg again.

Track 39: She’s so Mean - Matchbox Twenty

“Every now and then she makes you just a little bit crazy. She'll turn the knife into your back and then she's calling you 'baby'. Crazy”

Traducción: “De vez en cuando ella te vuelve un poco loco. Ella va a girar el cuchicllo en tu espalda y luego te esta llamando 'bebe'. Loca.”

melissa song!!!!! <33 her sass her attitude her hard to get self. the mean part really channels roiers vibe when he tricked quackity in this song.

Track 40: Maneater - Nelly Furtado

“She's a maneater, make you work hard. Make you spend hard, make you want all of her love. She's a maneater, make you buy cars. Make you cut cards, wish you never ever met her at all.”

Traducción: “Ella es una debora-hombres, te hace trabajar duro. Te hace gastar duro, te hace querer todo su amor. Ella es una debora-hombres, te hace comprar coches. Te hace cortar tarjetas, te hace desear que nunca la hubieras conocido.”

another melissa song<33 just like songs that point out how she uses men and whole reason for existing was to trick quackity. also that shes hot.

Track 41: First Day of My Life - Bright Eyes

“Yours was the first face that I saw. I think I was blind before I met you. And I don't know where I am, I don't know where I've been but I know where I want to go.”

Traducción: “Tu cara fue el primero que ví. Creo que era ciego antes de conocerte. Ahora no sé donde estoy, no sé dónde he estado pero sé a dónde quiero ir.”

roier in love with cellbit song. thinking of how they were the first people they saw through that glass. how after that the course of roiers life was changed.

Track 42: Back to the Old House - The Smiths

“Here began all my dreams. The saddest thing I've ever seen. And you never knew how much I really liked you. Because I never even told you. Oh, and I meant to. Are you still there or have you moved away? Or have you moved away? I would love to go back to the old house. But I never will.”

Traducción: “Aquí comenzaron todos mis sueños. Lo más triste que he visto jamás. Y tú nunca supiste lo mucho que me gustabas. Porque ni siquiera te lo llegué a decir. Oh, y lo intente. ¿Aún estás allí o te has ido? ¿O te has ido? Me encantaría ir de vuelta a la antigua casa. Pero nunca lo haré.”

this song for me focuses a lot on the original wooden community house roier had with missa spreen and mariana. the first lyric of here all my dreams began is able all the scope roier had in the beginning especially with his dream of opening a taco shop.

also could apply to much later when the egg event started and all his dreams of a winning family with bobby and jaiden beginning in that house as well.

going back to roiers relationship with spreen the lyric you never knew how much i liked you cause they were truly best friends but it was not exactly explicitly stated by roier ever and they didnt really talk about how they felt but roier really really cared about spreen and its shown through his actions pre betrayal.

and never going back to that house is like roier reflecting on all of this in a reality where he made it to that new place on the island and he had to let go of that community home he had built and everything that happened there. lots of different ways you can see this song because it was connected to so many different people who stayed there.

Track 43: Bodysnatchers - Radiohead

“I have no idea what I am talking about. I'm trapped in this body and can't get out.”

Traducción: “No tengo idea de lo que estoy hablando. Estoy atrapado en este cuerpo y no puedo salir.”

this ones pretty self explanatory. roier identity crisis song taking place upon him realizing he literally isnt in his own body!! yay!!

Track 44: Weird Fishes / Arpeggi - Radiohead

“I'd be crazy not to follow. Follow where you lead. Your eyes, they turn me.”

Traducción: “Sería una locura no ir. Ir adonde tu vas. Tus ojos, me transforman.”

the uncertainty that comes with fighting against the federation and escaping the island. pushing past that. hes diving in cause cellbit pushes him further. he’s going down that path with him. getting eaten by the worms like doied and the federation. hitting the bottom and escaping which you can interpret in your own way. this entire song is interesting to interpret in your own way.

Track 45: Brutus - The Buttress

“And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't wishing for untimely death or demise. Or am I just wishing I could be like you?”

Traducción: “Y estaría mintiendo si dijera que no deseaba una muerte prematura o un fallecimiento. ¿O simplemente estoy deseando poder ser como tú?”

doied song from doied pov in the qroier playlist my god he even took over his body here!! less about the lyrics and more about the actual story being told.

Track 46: No One Noticed (Extended Spanish) - The Marias

“Estás, tan dentro de mí. Te sigo pensando. Te sigo esperando. Y estás, oh, tan lejos de mí, oh. Te sigo pensando. Me canso llorando.”

Translation: "You are, so deep inside of me. I keep thinking of you. I keep waiting for you. And you're, oh, so far away from me, oh. I keep thinking of you. I get tired crying."

no one noticed did they. except for cellbit. roier needed him so desperately. then he left him like everyone else.

everyones free to interpret all these songs however they want for qroier. also i still add songs whenever i feel so this post will also likely keep being updated with time :3

qroier playlist: tears and the smell of blood

[rodenka]

[obsidianbit]

I love this gay ass show with its literally life ending injuries that heal immediately, but only when convenient to the plot, and its ridiculous use of modern phrases, and its laughing in the face of historical accuracy, and its kissing the face of the fans instead of trying to outwit them, and the way everyone involved in the show seem to go 'I KNOW RIGHT! I'M EXCITED TOO!' instead of mocking the fans

[freakinator]

thinking about kab and the thing about her i think is she knows just enough to keep herself safe Generally but not enough to really predict what would happen should something more... complicated??? unforeseen??? idk whats the right word to use but something not covered by someones reputation and/or vids happen, believe it or not this also affects her view of clownpierce (we'll get to that)

for example, mapicc has a reputation for being an violent, angry, & impulsive guy and nothing else which makes sense but is incredibly surface level and something that only really works if you dont have a lot of experience working with him

another is reddoons, his betrayal after the base incident while shocking is not unforeseen but his reputation as being a guy whos seen as being a reasonable person whos fairly loyal to his team made it seem like something he wouldnt do even tho it absolutely is

regarding how it affects her view of clown, since he isnt perfectly aligned with his reputation she instead pivots in the complete opposite direction and forgiving basically every crime he does even tho hes something much more mild and complicated than either his reputation or her view of him will ever be (think madonna-whore complex which is especially obvious when it comes to kabs vs woogies view of him)

another side effect of this Just Enough amount of knowledge aside from being blinded by her own expectations is that it frustrates ppl who think shes oversimplificating things (like me and seemingly several other tumblr users as well) especially when she claims that shes objectively correct and the smartest in the room at any given moment

how this roughness in her analysis affects her in the server still has yet to be fully seen but we do still have at least a couple months until the end but 'til then shes just gonna keep stumbling as more and more complicated situations pop up as is typical in lifesteal to happen and eventually shes gonna have to learn to adapt or else she'll be suffering the consequences one way or another

[hyohaehyuk]

leticia22ma: ‘working with sam is like slipping on a glove that fits really well….wait, is that dirty? An old sock’

More angle of this moment (x) (x) (x) 

[manga-and-stuff]

Since I liked the Planetes mange enough to start posting it here, I decided to give the anime from like 2004 a try.

That was a mistake. It's very different from the manga and if I had to describe it in one word it would be "obnoxious"

[sanyu-thewitch05]

Me watching the LGBT community who almost never rarely gives black women and girls, asexuals, or aromantics genuine respect, pretend we’re all friends and have always treated us right the minute it’s June 1st and want to use black women(mainly darkskinned) and girls as their little poster girl:

[youreyeson1y]

never thought i'd hear chk chk boom be played at our school field on the speakers but we gone done it lol

[tippenfunkaport]

It will never not piss me off that 80s She-Ra toys were action figures but when they went to make toys for 2018 She-Ra, they would only give us fashion dolls.

How did they learn nothing from the popularity of their own toyline?

Literally, three decades passed and somehow sexism in toys got WORSE.

[xanas-eye]

Earth did nothing wrong.

That's it. That's the post.

[dreamertrilogys]

how do i even play this. bc thing is i literally have a FREE PASS to ruin my life rn since we’re going to uni in sept. so i could really truly do whatever. i just have to decide WHAT now

[nexus-nebulae]

love watching weather science videos but like. why am i 1000x more interested in tornadoes over hurricanes. they're both spinning air