#and opening all the windows and turning the fan on in this temp is like

[solitaryearthperson]

Infatuation

Summary: What is it about you that has Homelander so infatuated?

(The reader is gender neutral. The ethnicity/race is preferably a person of color.)

Why you?

That was the million dollar question that kept going through Homelander's mind. There was nothing truly special about you. You were nothing like him and his teammates. You were - he couldn't help how hard his face cringed at the reminder - human. No Compound V or Temp V. Only regular red human blood coursing through your veins with no harmful or life-changing chemicals. Just human. Sure you were good-looking. Sure you were smart, and polite, but so were many of the other dumb, cocksucking fans he had to smile for and pretend to give a fuck about. So what made you different from them?

When did this even begin?

He couldn't really pinpoint the exact date that your beauty, poise, and civility had caught his attention. He thinks maybe a month or two ago. He could distinctly remember how pissed off he was at Ashley, not because she had did anything herself, but because she was the one delivering the bad news to him, and how that was the first day, you had spoke to him.

"What," he asked, his voice low and strict, while dripping with disbelief at what Ashley had said. He tried his hardest to keep facing the large windows of the Seven's meeting room, and keep a cool composure, his arms crossed behind his back.

"Um-um," she repeated, her mouth opening and closing, almost resembling a fish. Her green eyes widened in fear at what the Supe in front of her may do.

"Ashley," he said, his irritation at her hesitance to speak was making him even more angrier by the second. "Say that again."

"Well, I-you,...uh," she gulped and tried to speak again, her words coming out easier this time. "Your points has gone down significantly, by at least 60."

Hearing it repeated made his crystal blue eyes become engulfed in ruby red and he kept his gaze towards the windows, already sick of hearing and smelling the rank fear that was emanating from Ashley, and not wanting to make the smell worse. "How the fuck are my points down that much?"

The calmness of his voice made Ashley want to hurry and leave the room, but instead she nervously gulped down some of her fear again, and spoke, "People have not truly forgiven the Stormfront situation and the civilians that you accidentally lazered in half on the last mission made it worst. Their families and friends are all in mourning and sharing their grief online."

"Oh come on," he yelled, finally turning away from the window and seating himself in his usual seat at the large table, his face frowning in irritation. "Both of those things were fucking accidents! Stormfront is dead and those people have been dead for, what, weeks now. Almost a fucking month!"

Ignoring the harshness of his raised voice, Ashley continued, "Vought thought it could really help if you made an apology video or interview to get people back in your favor-"

"Abso-fucking-lutely not," he said, his tone stern and leaving no room for argument. "It was a fucking accident and they need to get over it already." The rage inside him was rising higher and higher and he knew that more redness was coming to his eyes the more he listened to Ashley and the bullshit that she was spouting. He was sick of having to apologize for who he is and how powerful he is.

"Mr. Edgar thinks that-"

At the very mention of his name, Homelander's fist quickly connected with the surface of the table, leaving a large crack in the glass. The sound of his fist hitting it made Ashley quickly quiet and she instantly took a deep breath in, waiting for his next words.

"Get the fuck out," he told her, closing his eyes, and laying his head back against the chair.

"Yes sir," Ashley quickly replied, rushing out.

At the time, she had quickly forgotten that you were with her, and had left you alone with the most dangerous Supe of them all.

"Mr. Homelander, sir," your voice, while small, had still interrupted the quietness that had taken over the room and was beginning to calm Homelander, and he quickly opened his eyes and looked to you, his red gaze freezing you in place.

"Who the fuck are you," he asked.

"I'm (Y/N)," you replied, nervously holding your folders and documents close to your chest. "I'm Ashley's assistant."

"And...?" Every part of his body language screamed that he was ready to murder anything right now.

"I was just gonna say that I'm sorry that you're under so much pressure," you told him, your voice still meek, but a little more confident as you see that you have kept his attention. "I'm pretty sure for a person like you, it can be hard to be like others and make mistakes."

"Exactly! Fuck! Thank you!" he suddenly exclaimed, making you slightly jump, but you quickly hid it, and returned the wide smile he threw to you, happy to see the redness from his eyes finally cool down to blue again. "No one gets how hard it is to be me. No one is ever truly grateful for what I do. Right?"

You silently nodded your head, happy to see the Supe no longer angry.

"I have to pretend to like and listen to these fucking idiots and apologize to them for helping them!" He let out an incredulous laugh at the thought of apologizing to the public again.

An idea came to you when he said that, and you quickly voiced it, "Maybe you can get their favor again without having to apologize for it."

He quickly furrowed his brows at your idea and quickly gestured for you to continue.

"Plenty of celebrities make apology videos and people always know that it's fake. Maybe you should donate money to the families of the victims instead. You won't have to make some embarrassing video or do an interview."

"A donation?"

"Yeah. Fans love when famous people donate something of theirs. Money, clothes, cars. You win the favor of fans you lost, and more."

He was silent for a second, his face full of contemplation and for a second you were scared that you had gone too far, proposing an idea like this. He might see it as an insult that an assistant was giving him advice on how to get fans. You had sworn your heart was about to beat out of your chest by his silence, but a suddenly growing smile on his face quickly calmed it.

"That is perfect! No having to grovel to those idiots."

"Would you like me to get Ashley to help set everything up?"

"Yeah! Do that! Now!"

You made your way to the door and was about to leave the room, when suddenly his voice made you stop. "Hey! What's your name, again?"

"Um, it's (Y/N)," you told him.

"(Y/N)," he repeated, liking the way it sounded on his tongue. "Thanks."

You quickly left the room after that and went to get Ashley to tell her about the idea, and you didn't know it, too naive to realize it, but Homelander had already began making a plan in his head to see you again.

That was it. That was what caught Homelander's attention. Unlike other regular people, and even other Supes, you were the one who understood the pressure he was under, who understood how great he was, how better he was. Soon after that he began making an effort to talk to you. After Ashley would report things to him, he made sure to pull you aside and make conversation, and he surprisingly found it addictive to hear your voice, whether you were talking about your day, your favorite meals, current shows you were watching, he needed to hear your voice. Every now and then, he could hear the tremble in your voice as you spoke to him, fear still running through you at the fact that you were speaking to him of all people. That tremble did things to him. He disliked hearing it as he wanted you to be comfortable around him and trust him, but at the same time, he loved hearing it, reminding himself of the immense power he had over others even when he doesn't do anything.

It wasn't long before he used this power to find your address. He found himself relieved that you lived in a pretty safe neighborhood, not wanting anything to happen to his favorite person. HIS? Yes, HIS. Just the thought of you accepting his affections, a life of being with him, of coming home to finding you ready to hear about his day and please him was already making him loose his already deranged mind, but he knew that you needed time. You needed to still be fearful of him, but at the same time, realize that he would be the best partner for you. And now as he looked at your sleeping form, he listened to the soothing beat of your heart, wishing he could lay his head upon your chest and take a deep slumber with you. Wishing he could wake up next to you, and make love to you first thing in the morning. Make love to you at Vought. Make love to you when he comes home from work. Make love to you before going to sleep. But he knew he needed to wait just a little bit longer. Not too long or else, some dumb imbecile will think they have a chance with you and he'll have to take care of them. But soon you would realize you belonged with him and no one else.

[kael-writ]

Is global warming giving you heat waves you aren't used to? Some tips from someone used to them:

- CHECK IN ON THE OLD FOLKS. Elderly people and vulnerable people like the mentally ill, disabled, and children, as well as pets, can and do die in heatwaves. Others can too, but particularly the vulnerable. Make sure they are cool!

- KEEP AN EYE ON THE KIDS. Kids get hotter faster and cant always tell they're overheating, but you will see them getting flushed red in the face, and they will become grumpy and tired. Give them lots of water, put them in a hat and sunscreen, let them play in the sprinklers or a kiddie pool. Let them have popsicles! There's more low sugar options now. Get them to take a little break for a book.

- LOOK OUT FOR THE HOMELESS! Give out water, fruit, sunscreen, cold packs, tarps and tents, umbrellas, transit cards, cash, and information in different languages on cooling centers.

- dont leave ANIMALS outside in the heat with no water or shade! Give them a trim if they have thick coats not meant for this. They should only be outdoors if the house is hotter, and if there is shade outside, same as you. If you're hot, so are they. Leave water out if you know there are strays out without a good water source.

- if you can get AC, do it. Ive seen some UK people say its hard and/or they're against it. But sorry, this is your health and safety. Heat waves kill vulnerable people every year. There are safer ways to offset global warming than torturing and endangering yourself.

AC is best in a small room, most people cant afford to cool the whole house so they might just have it in a bedroom or somewhere strategic like that. Some people put it in a central common room alternatively and fan it into nearby smaller bedrooms.

Be careful installing it, ideally with help from a friend and carefully study all the instructions. You dont wanna run into problems like dropping it out a window or forgetting to clean the filter, and they're heavy to carry too. There are also different kinds like floor units.

To save money/energy, you can turn it off at night and/or use energy saver settings. It can zap electricity and throw the breaker so be aware of if you can run other stuff like a microwave or not.

- if you cant get AC there are ways to DIY. A bowl of ice in front of a fan for example. Some people know how to DIY a pretty decent swamp cooler, I haven't done it but Ive seen instructions online.

If you are more fortunate, see if any poor people you know in need will let you buy them an AC and/or fans. Or let someone you trust who is in need hang out at your home. If they're proud, invite them for company.

- During the day, if you need, go to cooling centers and places like libraries, and help vulnerable people to do so.

- Windows closed in the day to keep out heat, open at night to let in cool.

I know your instinct is to want fresh air, but that air aint fresh. Use fans to push the air OUT the window, or if you want it a little open, open the TOP, so rising heat escapes.

A second fan on your body can feel good, but you dont want to be blowing hot air into your home.

At night when the temp drops, open those windows (and turn the fan to blow in) to cool off!

- Use fans strategically to keep air moving! Like I said, blowing hot air out, but you can also have multiple fans keeping air circulating inside your home.

- during the day use a heavy curtain or shade, if availabsle, to cover the window, this keeps the sun out and from heating up the room.

- Sunscreen! And yes, darker skinned people need it too. Even if you like to tan. Reapply regularly, especially considering water and sweat.

- cover your body outside with light fabrics if you can. Unfortunately a lot of Western fast fashion fabrics like polyester and acrylic are bad for heat. Meanwhile in hot places like India and the middle east, you find more light breathable fabrics like 100% cotton.

I think a lot of Westerners from the North don't understand how cooling wearing *more* clothes can be! Because so much of our clothing is designed for Winter. but different clothing does different things!

Yet another reason to not be a racist asshole and to actually learn from other cultures.

- Cover your head and face. ie wear a broad brimmed hat. Ever since I got my keffiyeh to support Palestine I cant imagine getting through Summer without one. It covers my bald head from getting burnt and cools down my face.

- drink lots of water! Especially if you're an alcoholic or caffeine addict. Flavored water is fine. Watery fruit is great.

- if you dont have AC and your home is very hot, especially a British home designed for warmth, the outside may be cooler! These little rooms can trap heat. So go outside with sun protection and hang out in the shade. Put your feet in a little tub of water.

- Put a cold wet towel across your body. Lay or sit on a cool surface, ie not a thick blanket but a cool sheet.

some surfaces like cement absorb and transfer heat in the sun more than others (and same with cold).

- go swimming or take a cold shower or bath.

- use a cold compress or ice pack.

- Put your pillowcase in the freezer for a bit.

- make ice cubes!

- food like cheese and fruits that you may usually keep out, you may wanna refrigerate now

- you can insulate cooler spaces to make them retain that cool better with closed doors or blankets over entries. NOT if this is a hot room, but if you have AC or something that keep that room cool.

Sometimes if you have a little hot bedroom next to a common area that is cooled you may alternatively want to put a fan at your door and blow the AC in. I did this when my roomie had AC but I didnt.

As kids we used to just camp out in the cooled area, whether that was a common area or our parents' room.

- basements are cooler. Heat rises! So hanging out in the basement can help!

- REST! The heat is wearing down your body! take a nap in the shade or AC when you are relatively cool.

limit strenuous activity. Take it slow. (eta: You're not being lazy, you're being SMART and careful!)

- If you can take off work or school, and your home is cool, do it. Or if they are cool and your home isnt, go. See if you can go earlier in the day and leave later, in fact.

- be aware of signs of HEAT STROKE! confusion/delerium, nausea, irritation, flushed face, high temp, headache, rapid heart beat. Cool the person down ie with water and monitor in case you need emergency services.

- eta: skin care tip! you may have areas like your thighs or under breasts that you may want to keep it extra clean and dry and use powder (corn starch works well). Especially if you're prone to skin issues and rashes, like if you're diabetic, a lot of sweat can cause issues. jock itch cream can work on other parts of your body like the underboob area if you do get a rash (talk to the pharmacist). With a rash, you dont want MORE moisture or to lock in moisture but to keep it dry. Wearing fabric like shorts that keep your thighs from rubbing together can help.

- also be prepared to do laundry more often!

[akayeh1]

NEW RABBIT SKILL UNLOCKED!!!

This has not been a fantastic weekend here in mid Missouri for the human. For those not current on USA weather, we are enjoying all the benefits of a “heat dome”. Hot temps, too much humidity, heat indices of 106°F/41.11°C…. Oh wait…. I think the heat has been getting to me. I’m not sure those are benefits!

Albert and I live in an apartment that is part of a quad with a hip roof. That gives a little shade over our west and north sides. This weekend none of the drapes on our thermal drapes got opened. This isn’t that out of the ordinary for us. Long stretches in the winter have that too. We have plant lights and led bulbs on timers that keep us on schedules.

Now Friday night I went to bed and turned the box fan on in the kitchen. (A small house only requires one fan!). I had just settled down and gotten comfortable when all thumping panic broke loose on the other side of the wall. I got up, looked out all the windows and declared no reason for panic. I said good night and went back to bed. He let me get all settled again before setting up another almighty thumping storm! This time I walked in the kitchen and threw on the dining room light as it lit everywhere and loudly demanded “WHAT?!?!?” Albert stood his ground and looked from me to the fan, back to me and loudly thumped! I tried telling him that he could sleep on his [rock] aka cement paving stone he commandeered where he could feel the fan just fine. I got a double thump. I guess that meant something akin to “why don’t you go sleep on the floor? I want to sleep on my bed!” So since no one was going to sleep unless I shared the fan, I moved the fan. He’s been here two years and he just now is demanding fan in bed? He may have his own radio but I am NOT buying him his own fan!!!

Saturday started well. Until the heat triggered a POTS episode. (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome). After Albert’s third salt alert I gave up, declared the day a loss and went back to bed. I hate severe episodes.

Today started well. (Uh oh. I see a theme!). At about ten after nine, Albert gave an alert. So we did the salt routine. He won’t let up until I do the routine in his view.

Shake bottle of salt pills in his line of sight. Open and hold one up so he can see. Put it in your mouth and drink something with him watching. Put salt pills away. Reward smart bunny with half a meadow loop. (Aka the best treat available—reserved for medical alerts, nail clips, and the indignity of brushing!)

Now when Albert alerts, he has a set routine as well. There are three carabiner clips hung on his house in various places, but he has chosen to only ever use use one of them for this purpose. And he never touches it during any other time. Then once he has my attention he goes and sits on his rock in a kangaroo pose with one foot on a rail looking at me watching to see if I’m paying attention. If I’m not fast enough he’ll start over. Once I have done my part correctly he goes into one of two “modes”. I really hope he goes into ��relaxed mode” where he goes back to his rock after collecting his treat at the door to his house and then promptly does a very loud flop. How it doesn’t hurt I’ll never know! Mode two is what I like to think of as “standby”. He will sit loafed whether toes tucked or untucked makes no difference but he is basically watching me. He won’t sleep. Just stare at me. It’s kind of creepy but it does mean he’s still on the job so comforting at the same time. It’s never the sign of a good day.

So this morning we do the routine and he goes into standby mode. Just great. Then he doesn’t. He decides to eat hay but still watch me. Okay so it’s going to be an odd day.

Then!!!!!!

Twenty minutes after he alerted to tell me my salt was off he’s at it again. I look over at him but he doesn’t do his alert thing. He looks like he’s possessed!!! He flips his head sharply over his left shoulder at my bedroom then brings it back and up over his right to look at me while doing a teen girl hair toss that only a lionhead could. All while sitting perfectly still. What the fluff was that?!?!?! He then turned around and sat next to his water bowl way away from his rock. “Do you want a new water bowl?” He tipped his head as if thinking hard. Hoping this is a new and better way of asking for fresh water, I went for it. (Beats throwing everything you own in it!) He didn’t go into relaxed, standby or I don’t care modes. He still seemed to be thinking.

Ten minutes after his performance I figured it out. I wish I hadn’t. That was a brand new alert he created. I got hit with what I call a double migraine. That’s when a classic migraine and a Hemiplegic migraine hit at the exact same time. They affect different sides of my head so it basically feels like your head wants to explode with a side of mimicking stroke symptoms on one side. They come on fast and they come on hard. Since I’ve been on Botox they’ve gotten a lot rarer.

I’m so thankful Ubrelvy works on both kinds. So I got to train Albert on the human reaction to his new alert. I went and got a pack, opened it and took it. Then I took the empty pack to the door of his house and showed him several angles and as that was happening it was giving him a sniff of the residual smell of the medicine. Then I told him he was such a smart smart smart good bunny!!! And he got his special treat for saving his human!

And about ten minutes later we achieved relaxed bunny mode. Finally!!!

I honestly hope I never see that alert again…. But now I’m prepared for it!

[stuft]

On the flip side of the 'how to stay cool during the upcoming heatwave' or maybe it's just in the same vein, I'd like to plead with people who have a/c and can control it, to bump the temperature up a little if you can, especially while you're out of the house for longer periods. Close your curtains, your shades, your blinds. Put on fans to circulate the air instead of pushing the a/c down more. The electric grids are overburdened and the longer the heatwave goes on the worse the situation will get with outages or communities doing brownouts or rolling blackouts.

I've gone into enough people's homes over the last few years where they keep the a/c in the 60s and keep their curtains open with the sun blazing in. Or they only have a window unit but they insist on having the blinds open during the day, so the a/c barely makes a dent. All the things people say to keep a non air conditioned house or apartment cooler is stuff you can do to keep your own a/c and the grid from being overworked, not to mention lowering your power bills. And! Don't wait until you can't bear it anymore to turn your a/c on! My mom and my sister used to drive me crazy with this, instead of keeping the thermostat at, say, even 80 and having it kick on when the inside temp got there, they'd keep it off and then at like 3 or 4 pm it was well over 80 in the house but like 90 or 95 outside and the air conditioner had to start from scratch in the blazing heat and it would take 3 hours to cool down at all. Instead of having it kick on before noon or something at a higher temperature and it wouldn't have to stay on. Oh and my mom was a curtains and blinds open person. All summer I'm like a fucking mole in the dark all day trying to pull the curtains across the windows more squarely.

Anyway off my soapbox, it's time for bed.

Stay cool. But not too cool.

[thotsforvillainrights]

Hiii!!! Hru??? I got a smutty one for ya

How about getting down on skeptic under his desk whiles he’s (trying) to work.

Hehe

(*Laughs Manically* You fool, you have no idea the power you've just given me! My birthday is tomorrow so this must obviously be more of a gift to myself than anyone else...even though I can't read my own stuff for fun lol. I still have fun writing it!)

~Urgency~

Urgency-importance requiring swift action

By no means was he a bad partner. At least to your standards, he was just fine. Sure he had his flaws namely his anger issues, but that was never a huge problem as you could always tame him no matter what. Perhaps one could say it was his attention to detail and naturally anal behavior when it came to some things that would come across as too much or annoying. However, again you'd say they were wrong and there wasn't an issue with the way he was. The only thing you might stop to complain about is his passion about his work not just for the liberation army but for Feel Good Inc as well. Still, this wouldn't classify him as a bad partner.

Maybe just an annoying one instead.

On days like today it was all too hot to handle. The temps outside were on a rise and your apartment wasn't any different. The maintenance was supposed to be visiting each unit to get the air back going. Until then, you were stuck with plug-in fans circulating each room. Hot and sticky, sweaty shirts and cracked windows hoping for another gentle breeze to bless your face. The ice maker was abused in the fridge as you'd collected many cubes for your 3rd glass of water, and for the plastic sandwich baggie you used as a makeshift icepack. Aside from the temp, there was another thing 'hot and bothered' plaguing your small apartment. You weren't usually this needy no, but sometimes it seemed to sneak up on you in the worst of moments. You could feel yourself slowly slipping away, rolling in the uncomfy bed and staring at the outside of your bedroom window as you watched people on the streets try to get out of the blazing heat and to wherever they needed to go. In the distance you could hear some splashing and cheerful conversation with light music coming from the apartment's pool. Maybe later you could go when there weren't as many people? That's how Skeptic tended to like it, quiet and calm with no one else around.

Just the thought of your partner sent you spiraling yet again. You tossed and turned once more, quietly groaning above a whisper and rubbing your thighs together pathetically for some ounce of relief. All in vain unfortunately. The thought of trying to even approach him right now wasn't on your mind, but slowly became more of a reality the longer you waited on him to finish his work and leave that damned office for the day. It was already 3 in the evening and he was still in there, fingers tacking away at the abused keyboard. You'd become more desperate by the minute and now seconds as you finally slipped out of bed and crept down the hallway. You cracked the door open and felt a sudden relief at the temperature difference between the office and the rest of the apartment. Because it was pitch black in there with only the light of the monitor glaring, it was much cooler. Not to mention he was hogging the good fan as well. You stared at him working for just a little while. He's wearing a simple black shirt and some gray joggers with a matching black waistband and black around the pant cuffs. His hair is up and out of his face, tied back into a long ponytail with clipped back bangs. You can see his eyes scanning across the screen before stopping and lazily looking over at you.

"Come in or leave. You're letting the cold air out." He grumbles and you comply, quickly entering the room and smiling at him. "Sorry, my bad. It's literally so hot out there that I can't get comfy." You say, trying not to look at down at his lap. You knew you must've gotten his attention. Regardless of the sweat, he'd be attracted to seeing you with a shirt slightly damp and hanging off your shoulder a bit, shorts and socks on. A simple look for most, but something entirely irresistible for him. "Yeah well, that's the price you pay for being stubborn. I told you long ago that I wanted you to move in with me at my place but noooo. You just wanted us to both be here in this rat-box you call an apartment. We're moving when the lease is up and I'm picking the next place." He complains, glancing down at you and licking his lips before quickly turning his attention back to the computer screen. Light a light switch you quickly moved over to him and dropped to your knees at his side. "What the hell???" he questions you. Ignoring his confusion, you shimmy your way under his desk and pry his legs open, smiling up at him now with mischievous intent. Although confused, his eyes have a slight sparkle of curiosity to them. "Instead of complaining about the apartment why don't you just relax and let me help you finish working? Then we can get out of the apartment and maybe enjoy the pool or the game room, hmm?" You talk but your words fall on deaf ears. By now (with the way you've began running your hands up his leg and to his pant line) he's already starting to be too far gone in your touch. "Y/N..." he says in a warning tone. It doesn't do anything to stop you in this moment. You shush him with a smile and pull his pants down just enough to free his cock from it's clothed confines.

Sure that gust of wind throws him off for a bit, but it's nothing compared to the sheer intensity of feeling your tongue swipe at the tip of it so suddenly.

His hand quickly slaps over his mouth to silence his groans. You didn't like it but also didn't have the energy to complain. Right now the focus was getting him going just enough. "Keep working." You demand with a smile. He wants to complain but knows this game all too well. You weren't going to keep going if he didn't play along so he did as he was told. Reluctantly he took his eyes off you and started working again, trying his hardest to keep his sounds packed down his throat when he felt your tongue hard at work all for him. He shudders when you take a long and slow lick of the precum dripping from his slit of his head. His head spins and he hasn't even noticed you'd slowed your actions to a halt. "I don't hear you typing up there." You tease. "Y/N please I-"

"I didn't ask to hear you beg Tomoyasu. I said I wanted you to work. Now do as I say or I'll stop right now." He couldn't call your bluff. It's not like you wanted to stop. If anything, you wanted to take it a little further than this! But he didn't have to know that. He'd do anything you wanted at this point, he was too close to jeopardize his own release. His fingers quickly picked back up on the codes he began to type quickly. By now he was done keeping quiet. You'd been rewarded with each and every moan and groan he let slip from his mouth. It was a motivator to keep going, using a free hand to work at the base of his cock while you'd sucked the other half. He didn't warn you when it was over. Instead he'd thrown his head back and moaned your name with vigor, his hand gripping at the edge of his desk as he tried to gather his breath and stop shaking from the orgasm.

He didn't give you much time at all to stand up properly as you tried to maneuver your way from beneath the desk. Instead he gripped at your hand and pulled you up and into his arms for a deep kiss. Next he'd led you off the ground and quickly to the bedroom, all urgency from work now dedicated to slipping your clothes off. You never made it to the pool that evening but staying in the bed was the next best thing.

[blackmageeljin]

So recently, on TOP of the whole tree falling on house thing, my room had become so hot that Satan himself would have looked at it and said 'get this bitch an icepack.'

We didn't know wtf was going on at first, other than it had been hotter than imploding star outside for about a week. Since my room is cooled by a sad portable ac machine because the windows of my room are too small we initially assumed it just couldn't keep up with a certain level of temperature that could only be measured in units native to the lower circles of hell. Combined with the fact my room is technically an attic because of how the roof heights are staggered and there for much easier heated in general, we just went 'eh sucks but what do you do.'

Since single hose protibel units aren't very effective to begin with I tried shifting it to only be on dehumidify (which would sometimes run the full ace but less often and mostly ran the fan) and took to insulating the exhaust hose in hopes that would help keep heat out of the room.

Unfortunately, over the next few days the temperature inside slowly climbed from high around 78 to 82 and then to 85, and then higher still. Around the 83 mark is when I abandoned my room and began sleeping on the couch in the considerably cooler living room with a window unit. 

It seemed like after I have up it just got worse. Why? Because I wasn't constantly babying and changing settings? Was the heat wave just That Bad outside? The entire upper floor- sans one room with a dedicated window until that kept a shut door at all times- had become an unholy swampy mess. The temps on the AC unit itself hit 90. We turned it off thinking itust be doing more harm than good, but it just got worse. The next day I turned it back on, it still read 90s but it not running hadn't had any effect and at least we could use it to dehumidify.

Finally I have had enough. I begin research hoping to find a proper window unity that will actually fit in the tiny ass attic windows of my room. Unsure of numbers I venture into the smother miazma to measure how tall the window can open.

At which point I find the problem.

See, shitty portable ac unit have a hose that vent out the window, but obvious it is much smaller than a whole AC unit. They come with a little attachment to span the window, so you have the window sitting about 6 inches open but edged in thermal seal foam with this little hose block shoved under it nice and snug.

The fucking hose had gotten knocked out of the window.

I have no idea how. It could be an answer as simple as Cat. It could have been the tree impact, since I no longer remember which event happened first with all the shit that keeps storming, it could have gotten loosened when I installed the insulation and a strong wind just knocked it out. But whatever it was, it meant that not ONLY was the window to the 90-100 outside weather with unmerciful nighttime lows in the 80 just happily pouring into the room, but when the unit was running it was sucking in 90° air, spitting out admittedly cooled air on one end, but dumping the heated 120°~ exhaust back into the room.

I immediately reset the hose in the window and tried my best to be sure it was secure. Within minutes the room had dropped to 88. By the time I was finished with breakfast 82. And now, as I write this before I turn in for the night, it has finally fucking returned to a blissful 73.

[jvstheworld]

My Ted Lasso Re-watch: S1E2 (part 3)

Biscuits

BBQ sauce is important to Ted because of the time he spent with his dad in bars playing darts. It was probably one of the last good memories he has of him.

Ted can guess from Rebecca's glance at the biscuits he made her that those are the things that bring back memories for her. He knows she's not telling the truth but isn't ready to open up yet.

Rebecca wants to set Ted and Keeley up for a scandal.

Ted gives a lot of people army men.

The lion is a better look than the panda.

'Is it free?' Ted's priorities when it comes to food are correct. Always check for free food.

Perfect comedic timing for Keeley with the BJ answer. I just love Ted and Keeley's friendship.

Sam is homesick. He's also talks about how his dad rubs his earlobe when comforting him, something that happen when Ola arrives.

They film the home games where Crystal Palace play, so the first match of the show rightly is against Crystal Palace.

Arlo White making an appearance on the show after being in one of the NBC ads which Ted Lasso was created for.

'Fruity...' is a common term throughout the show for any swearing heard during matches.

When Ted first asks Jamie into his office, Jamie sits down on the desk, but as soon as he gets the first compliment he stands up and goes quiet, like he wasn't expecting Ted to do so. Ted gives him a compliment sandwich, one good thing, followed by an improvement, and then another good thing. Jamie needs to start playing as part of a team and not just for himself. He might be the best player, but if he can't reconcile only being 1 person out of 11 then he'll never be as great as he could be. The Total Football episode is Jamie at his best because he is working with everyone. But right now, it's all about glory. And that's his dad's influence, needing to be noticed, and be the greatest, otherwise he'll take it out on Jamie.

I love the interaction between Roy and Nate, and Nate accidentally smashing the window. Then you have Ted's reaction of 'what the hell?' and Roy's 'good lad' to top it off.

Roy is surprised at the showers being fixed. Poor Colin though, but that's what you get when you stand directly under the shower before you turn it on. Who does that? Don't you turn it on, wait for it to be at the right temp and then stand under it?

Trent is relentless at trying to get answers.

Jamie tried to follow what Ted said but as soon as he heard the fans talking shit he reverted back to being a prick. It's okay for him to be the only one to look good, if it means he gets to trash the rest of the team. It's Sam's birthday, you're allowed to celebrate that, even Higgins does, and Nate wants to.

Ted likes meeting people and having fun. It's how he brings out the best in people. And it means we get to see more of Shannon.

Ted bakes Rebecca's biscuits himself, because he's the kind of person who wants to got he extra mile for others.

[coral-skeleton]

I am south african, and grew up in an area where it regularly gets above 40°C (105°F), and all of this is great advice, but I also wanna add

If you don't have AC/can't afford a small AC, get a tray of ice and a fan, let the fan blow directly onto the tray of ice, that will cool down a small room significantly

Being in the shade is great, and what you want, but you wanna be under an isolated roof, or a tree, a tin roof, or a roof without inulation will be much warmer than either of those two options cause it will trap heat

If you can turn on sprinklers outside, do that, have the water from them hit the house, and specifically the windows, this will help cool down the house

You might think opening the fridge and pointing the fan into it is a good idea, it is not, fridges work by heat pump and heat up the room their in significantly, you don't want to be in the same room as the fridge, and by pointing the fan into it, you're making it work harder and thus heating up the room more

Put a wet towel around your shoulders

If you're gonna be outside in the sunlight, sunscrene and a hat is not enough, you want loose, lightweight, moisture wicking, long sleeve clothing, in a light color and breathable weave, natural fibers like coton or linnen help too, stay away from synthetic stuff.

Yes, take a cold shower, but don't immediately start with just cold water, ease into it, make the water room temp first and turn it colder as you go along

The bathroom is most likely the coldest room in the house, go there for breaks from the heat

Go easy on yourself, a 40°C+ day is not the day where you wanna push yourself on your workouts, it's a day meant for lazing around

You really don't wanna be outside or in the sun between 11am and 2pm

Pharmacies sell little electrolyte packets that can be added to water to help with dehydration. Keep a few of those on you or within reach at all times

Stay safe out there guys, we're gonna be getting alot more unusually hot days as time goes on

For all of the northerners that stood up for Texas during our freeze and said, "Don't make fun of them, they've never dealt with this before. Their infrastructure isn't made for snow and freezing."

This one is for you.

Where I live 108°F with 80% humidity with no wind is normal.

Pacific North West is dealing historic best waves 35-40°C or 95-105°F.

First of all. Don't make fun of them for bitching about the heat. Just like Texas isn't built for a freeze and our pipes burst, Pacific North West isn't built for heat and a lot of their homes don't have AC.

If you live somewhere with a high humidity like 80+ HUMIDITY IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. The "humidity makes it feel cooler" is a lie once it gets beyond a point.

If you live somewhere with a lower humidity, misters are nice to cool off outside.

Once you get over 90°F (32°C) a fan will not help you. It's just pushing around hot air. (I mean if you can't afford a small AC unit because they're expensive as hell, by all means a fan is better than nothing).

If you have pets, those portable AC units aren't safe. If your pets destroy the outtake thing, it'll leak CO2. Window units are safer.

Window AC units will let mosquitoes or other small bugs in. Sucks, but that's life.

Now is not the time to me modest. If you have to cover for religious reasons, by all means. If you don't, I've seen people wear short shorts and a swim top. It's not trashy if it keeps you from getting heat stroke.

If you do have to cover up for religious reasons, look for elephant pants or something similar. They're made with a breathable material.

Shade is better than no shade, but that shit it just diet sun after some point. Don't think shade will save you from heat stroke.

I know the "drink your water" is a fun meme now, but if you're sweating excessively you need electrolytes. Drink Gatorade, Powerade, or Pedialite PLEASE. I don't care if you're fucking sitting in one spot all day. That shit WILL save you from heat stroke.

Most importantly. RESEARCH THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HEAT STROKE AND HEAT EXHAUSTION PLEASE!

If you're diabetic and can't drink Gatorade, mix water, fruit juice, and either lite salt or pink salt

If you can afford it, cover windows with thick curtains to insulate the house

If you have tile floors, lay on them with skin to tile contact. If you don't, laying your head on cool counters works too.

If the temperature where you're at is hotter than your body temperature, don't wear heat wicking clothing. Moisture wicking is safe though.

Check your medication labels. Many make you more susceptible to sun and heat

-Room temperature water will get into your body faster. This is something I learned doing marching band in high summer in Georgia, and it saved all of our asses. Sip it, don't gulp it, especially if you're getting into the red; same goes for whatever fluid you're drinking. And just in general drink during the day.

-If you are moving from an air conditioned space to an un-air conditioned space, if at all possible try to make the shift gradual. When my dad and I were working outside and in un-ac houses a few years ago, he'd turn the air down to low in the truck about ten-fifteen minutes before we got where we were going. This way your body doesn't go from low low temps to high temps. S'bad for you.

-If you can, keep your lights off during the day. Light bulbs may not generate a lot of heat, but the difference is noticeable when it gets hot enough. I literally only turn my bedroom light on in the evening when it gets too dark.

Don't be afraid to just like... pour water on yourself if you need to. The evaporation will cool you off.

Put your hand to the cement for 15 seconds. If you can't handle the heat, it'll burn your dog's paws. Don't let them walk on it.

Dogs with flat faces are more prone to heat stroke. Don't leave them out unsupervised.

Frozen fruit is delicious in water.

Wet/Cold hat/handkerchief on your head/neck will help you stay cool.

Pickle juice is great for electrolytes! You can even make pickle juice Popsicles!

Heat exhaustion is more, "drink water and get you cooled off." Heat stroke is more "Oh my god call 911."

Image Description provided by @loveize

[Image description: an infographic showing the difference between heat exhaustion and heat stroke. The graphic is labeled "Heat Dangers: First Warning." Signs of heat exhaustion: faint or dizzy, excessive sweating, cool, pale, clammy skin, rapid, weak pulse, muscle cramps. If you think you or someone else may be experiencing heat exhaustion, get to a cool, air-conditioned place, drink water if conscious, and take a cool shower or use cold compress. Signs of heat stroke: throbbing headache, no sweating, red, hot, dry skin, rapid, strong pulse, may lose consciousness. If you think you or someone else may be experiencing heat stroke, call 911. End description]

Be safe.

-fae

[samuelnelson3561]

When Hamilton Gets Humid: Can a Heat Pump Help With That?

So, I thought I had my heat pump all figured out. Warm in the winter? Check. Cool in the summer? Double check. But this past month, with Hamilton throwing us some classic late-summer humidity, I found myself facing a new question: Can a heat pump actually help with that sticky, muggy air?

Turns out, yes. Yes, it absolutely can.

And I honestly wish I'd known this sooner because I spent a few too many evenings tossing and turning with that unpleasant clammy feeling that not even a fan could fix. But let me back up a bit and walk you through what I've learned, especially if you're also running heat pumps in Hamilton and wondering why the air in your house sometimes feels like a greenhouse, even when the temperature isn't crazy high.

The Day I Realised It Wasn't Just "Heat"

It hit me one night while I was watching telly in the lounge. The temp wasn't all that bad—sitting at about 24°C—but everything just felt damp. My shirt was sticking to my back, the couch cushions felt kind of gross, and the air was heavy in a way that made it hard to relax.

I'd already set the heat pump to cool mode, but it didn't feel like it was doing much. That's when I started wondering if maybe it wasn't just heat that was the problem. A quick Google search later, and I was knee-deep in articles about humidity and how it can make temperatures feel hotter than they really are.

The culprit? High indoor moisture levels.

Enter: The Dehumidifying Mode (That I Didn't Know Existed)

Until this point, I'd only used my heat pump in heating or cooling mode. I figured those were the two options and didn't really mess with the other settings. But when I looked a bit closer at the remote, I found something called "dry mode" or "dehumidifying mode."

I flipped it on, and within 30 minutes, the air in the room felt completely different. It wasn't just cooler—it was drier, lighter, more comfortable. It was like someone had opened a window and let in a breeze… only better because the mozzies weren't invited in.

Here's the basic breakdown of what I've since learned about how this setting works:

Cooling mode: Lowers the air temperature and, as a side effect, removes some moisture.

Dry mode (dehumidifying): Focuses more on pulling excess moisture from the air, with minimal temperature change.

It's subtle, but if you've been living through a particularly humid patch in Hamilton (which we get more often than people realise), this difference is huge.

Why Humidity Matters More Than You Think

One thing I've come to understand is that managing humidity is just as important as temperature when it comes to home comfort. Too much moisture in the air not only makes you feel hotter but can also create the perfect breeding ground for mould, mildew, and dust mites.

It's not just a comfort issue—it's a health one, too. And since this is my first time owning a home, I'm learning that good air quality is something you actually have to think about. It's not just about avoiding damp socks or foggy windows anymore.

What Worked for Me (And What Didn't)

When I first started trying to tackle the humidity, I made a few missteps—so here's a little list of what worked for me in the end:

Dry Mode FTW: I run the dehumidifying setting during the day when humidity is high, especially in the late afternoon when the sun's been on the house all day.

Closed Windows and Doors: I used to think cracking a window helped reduce that muggy feeling, but it turns out that it just lets more humid air in. Keep things closed when the heat pump is running.

Regular Filter Cleaning: If your filters are clogged, airflow is reduced, and that makes it harder for the unit to do its job, including pulling out moisture. A bit of heat pump maintenance every month or so makes a noticeable difference.

Fan Combo: If I want the room to feel even fresher, I turn on a ceiling fan on low with the dry mode going. It helps circulate the air and makes the space feel cooler without lowering the temperature much.

What didn't work? Cranking up the cooling mode and hoping for the best. It ran longer, used more power, and didn't actually fix the humidity. So now I save that for hotter days and lean on the dry mode whenever it feels sticky indoors.

Ducted Heat Pump Systems vs. My Wall Unit

I've had a few mates ask if I wish I'd gone with a ducted heat pump system instead. Honestly, for my current space and layout, the wall unit has been perfect. But I can totally see how ducted systems, with their ability to manage the air across multiple rooms at once, would be great for even humidity control in bigger or multi-level homes.

If you're building or doing a major reno, it's something to look into. For now, I'm happy with how mine's handling things—but it's nice knowing there are more advanced Hamilton HVAC services out there if I want to upgrade down the track.

Don't Wait Until It's Unbearable

If you've got a heat pump sitting there and you're only using it when it's boiling hot or freezing cold, you're missing out. These systems are way more versatile than I ever gave them credit for. And if you live in Hamilton, where we get a fair share of humidity spikes (especially after those warm, rainy spells), it's worth getting familiar with the dry mode.

I've talked to neighbours who didn't even know their unit had that feature until I mentioned it—and now they're using it all the time.

Quick Shoutout

Before I forget, the team that walked me through this when I called up for a bit of guidance was Hamilton Aircons. They've been my go-to for everything from air conditioning installation to advice on upkeep. They didn't just install and bounce—they've helped me get the most out of my setup without trying to upsell anything I didn't need.

Final Thoughts

So, does a heat pump help with humidity? In my experience, absolutely. But only if you know how to use it properly.

If you're living with that damp, sticky feeling and assuming it's just part of summer life in the Waikato, take a closer look at your settings. You might already have the fix right there on your remote—no need to buy anything new or complicated.

Honestly, learning about dry mode has been a small but seriously satisfying home upgrade. The air feels cleaner, the space is more comfortable, and I feel like I've levelled up again on this whole "running a home" thing.

Bring on whatever weather Hamilton throws at us next—I've got it covered.

[therealisticrealtor-blog]

Master Efficiency Starting at Home

The ‘Dog Days of Summer’ are officially upon us with heat advisories now in full swing.  It can be a difficult task to claim victory over this infamous Mississippi heat especially while trying to be energy conscious and with the cost of energy rising over the past couple of years, opening the monthly power bill can be quite dreadful.  So, our team of agents at Snowden & Company decided now is a good time to let you know that mastering energy efficiency at home can be easier than you think by implementing a few small changes.  We have researched and even personally tested ways to help you stay cool, comfortable, and conservative during these hot summer days. Here’s a list of resourceful tips we developed that will help you save both energy and money:

Maintenance Matters

After reading literally hundreds of home inspections and talking to technicians in the HVAC world, it is unfortunately more and more common for homeowners to neglect their air conditioning units and defer routine maintenance.  It is extremely important to keep your units serviced and cleaned regularly as well as routinely replacing filters.  Your filters are a catch-all for dust, allergens, foreign fragments, and even particles from your pet; a build-up of these things on your filter can not only slow the filtration of air but also cause your home to smell bad.  Most professionals recommend changing your filters at least every 90 days (or more often if you check and it appears dirty).  When changing your filter, we also recommend that you clean your grate cover well and remove built up dust and dirt.

Master Degrees

What is the ideal temperature to set your thermostat?  This is a common question, and the answer can be debatable but for your air unit to operate at top efficiency, our research turned up that the most recommended temp to set your home thermostat is 78 degrees.  Our agent researchers had a hard time staying comfortable at that temperature but found 74 to be a more pleasant fit and by steadily maintaining an interior temperature of 74 degrees, we did notice cost improvements on the power bill!  We also recommend that you upgrade your thermostat to one with smart home features that is programmable and that you can monitor remotely by using your cell phone.

Eliminate Extra Heat

You may not even realize all of the unnecessary heat sources that encroach on your cool air.  Let’s take a look around and try to eliminate some of the most common ones.

As a huge fan of natural light, it is hard to imagine closing the blinds and curtains but this time of year the sun beaming through will really heat things up so pull tight blinds or curtains.  If you are like me and can’t give up the natural light, consider putting solar or ceramic tint on windows and door lights so you continue to get the natural light but deflect the heat.  We installed a deflective tint on our office windows and it has been a game changer!  It significantly lowered the temperature of our waiting area making it much more tolerable.

Lights and lamps can be a source of heat as well.  Did you know that incandescent light bulbs waste about 90% of their energy?  Consider changing all bulbs to LED, which operate more efficiently, produce less heat, and convert 100% of their energy to producing light.

Some of your appliances, like ovens and dryers, may also contribute to the extra heat inside your home.  Fire up the grill and cook outside instead of using the oven.  Check your dryer ventilation and make sure the exhaust is being properly expelled to the exterior of your home and is not leaking heat back into the house.

Lastly, make an effort to keep air circulating in your home by using ceiling fans.  Keeping the air moving will make your home less stale while also producing a nice breeze.

Don’t Take a Loss

A lot of energy can be lost even through the tiniest cracks and holes.  Check your doors for cracks and install weather stripping where needed.  Also, inspect your windows and apply caulk where necessary.  If you live in an older home, you may need to evaluate your insulation and the efficiency of your windows.  It may be necessary to add insulation in your home and possibly even upgrade your windows.  Homes with raised foundations may also lose energy from underneath so check and make improvements to insulation in your crawl space if needed.

At the end of the day, small changes can lead to big improvements in conserving both energy and money!  Our findings suggest that steady efforts do pay off and we are hopeful that by implementing some of our tips that you too will see savings!  If you still feel like you need more information or more help, contact your local energy provider; some providers offer energy audits and information that can further your knowledge and journey towards a more energy efficient home!

By: Amanda Snowden

[wytfut]

windows

Most if not all of my posts here are observations....

This one is no different.

My early years, we didn't have A/C. And I remember when we finally got it....

Before all of that, we'd open windows, and have a fan blowing.

As kids then and now, we just really didn't notice how hot it was. We could sleep thru anything.

A school buddy back then, his family held off from A/C as one of the last ones. One of their tricks to keep cool when going to bed, was to keep their pillows in the freezer. I've never done this, but thought this was really clever at the time.

Hospitals all had windows that would open. Which was great, especially if your room mate had post surgery gas problems (I was a first hand witness to this with my knee surgery back in the 70's).

I can remember from back in the mid80's, a family here in Waverlyville.... badgering other family members in their own house, about installing A/C and using it.

I have a neighbor, who to this day will not turn on the A/C, unless it is dramatic temps, and a huge relentless heat wave. For example todays weather (mid 90's all this week), 101 tomorrow, I know they won't turn on the A/C. I know this as their windows are all open. He also in a strange way will brag about not turning it on.

Another long gone neighbor, would not turn on the A/C never ever, until June 1. A few decades ago, that wouldn't have been a big deal, but today, we can get a hot streak in march and april.

Today I'm finding more and more buildings and homes with windows that don't open.

I've also been to such places that even though they have windows that will open.... they don't ever open them.

For me this is odd. Patti and I will open windows on our place in a second, if its nice enough outside. We do like the fresh air, but there are other reasons.

With the house open even for a little bit, it'll get that musty dog smell out. And It'll cut back on energy bill.

Even with all the traffic noise we get (interstate 80 200yards south of our house), I love to sleep with the windows open.

But for me to sleep that way, the temp has to be correct. I cannot sleep in the heat, like in the old days. If its over 70 in the house, forget it.... the A/C is coming on.

........

No windows, or not opening windows... is it a trend today? What started it? Folks don't like the insides of their home to get dusty? Can't sleep with the noise? Allergies? Security?

I'm dumbfounded, as I can't just put out a blanket category to cover all the guesses I have why this is becoming common.

And I don't want say its a bad thing or a good thing, either way. I just know we both like to open the window when it works out.

I can't category this to an age group from what I see. Luke's family will open windows, Josh will open windows. But my neighbors rarely do.

And it doesn't appear to be related to the households economic income is either....

.......

Well, I don't live/sleep there. So I suppose it doesn't matter who sets up the rules. As long as I can go home to the comfort of my house, so be it....

[heidiamalia]

i killed the microwave

[icallhimjoey]

Infinite Fizz

♥ ♥  Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: On your last day as a temp PA, there's no more holding back. This is the cut scene, the one entirely jumped over, from part 5 of In 120 Hours, remastered in full HD for your enjoyment. Full smut, little plot (although, read in 120 hours because it'll help)!

CW / disclaimer: 18+, smut, language, rpf, fem!reader

Author’s note: okay so the horny bitches in my inbox kept asking me to write this, and who am i to tell you no? here you go my cumcum twats, enjoy!

Wordcount: 3.7K

Kissing Joe at the bottom of the stairs, your hips pressed up against his knees until he opened his legs and made room for you to slot yourself in between, was good in the way that it made your vision blur.

Joe spoke the exact words you asked from him into your mouth, your ear, your neck, your skin.

“You’re fired,”

You were very aware that you weren’t really fired. Of course, you weren’t. But you kind of needed to hear Joe say it anyway. Needed to make him say shit he didn’t mean, just to prove and to confirm that, yes, Joe wanted you. Right now. No postponing any longer. The award ceremony was over and done with, and so was Joe, unable to hold back anymore.

“You’re fired. You’re fired, fuck– you’re so fired,”

Joe’s lips grazed all over. He just needed his mouth on you, not even necessarily to kiss, but just to roam, to taste. Mouth open, his lips touched your hot skin and his breath fanned over your face, your jaw, your neck.

Making it up one flight of stairs, you assumed you’d take this into the guest room. You already had one foot over the threshold when Joe’s hands yanked you into his body by your waist, back into the hallway where he turned you towards the second set of stairs that lead up to his bedroom.

It took a moment for your feet to find the first step up, because Joe had ducked down and his lips had found your neck again. You whined, not wanting it to stop, just, happy to be stood on the landing with Joe warmly attached to the back of you. When one of his hands found its way into your hair on the side of your head to support it, fingers twirling, softly scratching, you gasped, jaw completely lax.

Joe’s touch was electrifying and had your mind spinning.

“Come on, up,” Joe said softly into your ear, and one of his knees pushed your thigh up, helping you find the first step. Trembling fingers then found the banister, necessary for balance and for pulling yourself up before Joe’s hands reached and took hold of your sides, fingers encasing the small of your waist, guiding you up one step at a time.

Standing in Joe’s doorway, his hands still at your sides, now both covered with your own, you paused for a second. You remembered being in there five days ago, how the room had been so empty. Void of everything; just dumped mess, tangled cables and... not much else. So empty. It left a lot of room for loneliness and the thought of Joe’s loud TV made your eyebrows twitch with sadness for him. You had joked about that TV, because if you hadn’t, you’d have cried at it. It seemed to only really land now. Now that it looked vastly different in there.

Joe’s bed was big, but soft and fluffy. Colourful, warm. There were wooden matching bedside tables with lights on them that were set to timers, filling the room with romantic mood lighting and you smiled at how great of a choice you thought you'd made.

There was a seating area near windows on the one side of the room, and a dressing area with a mirror, dressers, and a little ottoman on the other. The soft rugs and the matching floor-length curtains really pulled it all together.

“Do you like it?”

You asked, realizing that, you hadn’t actually checked with Joe after finishing it.

“Do I like it?” Joe was still stood behind you, rested his head on your shoulder and let his arms wrap around again. Tighter this time.

“Look at it,” he said, and you felt Joe’s lips press against your neck once more, prompting you to move your head to the side to give him more real estate to work with.

“It’s gorgeous,” he whispered into your neck, and you didn’t quite trust yourself to speak, afraid your words would be a shaky trembling mess.

Joe stepped around you and one of his hands trailed down your arm until it found your hand, pulling you along with him towards the bed.

You spoke of Joe’s metaphor in a moment of clarity, before you were going to let that fucking smile fully bewitch you.

“Careful, I’m going to lose my fizz fast,” you said, now by the foot of his bed where Joe turned and got you in front of him.

“All these bubbles up in my coca cola? They’ll be gone before you know it,” you warned, but you could see Joe was already too far gone. Too little blood left in that pretty little head of his to think straight. Hazy eyes stared back at you, lids barely even open now as he pushed you onto the bed and he didn’t wait a second to follow you, pressing knees into the mattress and towering over you.

“I know,” he said, and smiled a slow smile that was different. It was a smile that dripped with adoration as he looked you in the eye and it made you completely lose your breath. You were glad you hadn’t seen it earlier, because you would’ve absolutely jumped him.

“But the caffeine of you will do.”

It was the perfect answer that filled something you didn’t even realise was empty within you. Joe drove it home by diving down, his mouth finding yours, pressing hard before he let his tongue roam deeply.

With your arms around Joe’s neck, his body heavy on top of yours, you just made out for a little while. Soft and slow, and then wild and hungry, alternating between the message no let’s just stay here and do this for a while, and, I need more from you right this second.

It was romantic and sexy – heartfelt and wanting.

Whilst you felt a little embarrassed about your sounds, just in general, Joe moaned freely, didn’t hold back on his noises, his breaths, the stutters erupting from his throat. Especially when you got your teeth involved, Joe gasped, unable to contain it, and suddenly, you’d had enough.

Enough.

Not breaking your kiss, with your eyes still closed, you blindly brought fumbling, impatient hands down to undo his trousers. But there was no button in the center. Instead Joe’s trousers had those stupid side adjustors that cinched him in, little straps and buckles on the sides of his hips. Your fingers found them fast enough, but you didn’t for the life of you know how to undo them, and frustration built.   

Joe laughed silently, went, “Hey,” as he sat up a little. “Calm down,” and squeezed both of your hands in his.

“Take ‘em off,”

“Do you know how expensive these are?”

Joe crawled back a little, got off the bed and started slowly undressing, careful with the fabric, the closures, the buttons.

“You can afford it,” you teased, propping yourself up on your elbows, hinting that you wanting to rip them from his body really shouldn’t have been a problem.

Joe huffed a laugh, “Could I? I think I’ve spent a lot of money these past few days,” he gestured a hand around before bringing them to unbutton his shirt.

All you could do in response to that comment was smile. You had spent a lot of Joe’s money.

“But it’s gorgeous,” you said pointedly, repeating words Joe had spoken earlier.

“You’re gorgeous,” Joe bit back, flirting in response, and you giggled as you let yourself drop back down onto the bed.

“Come here,” Joe reached a hand, now just in his boxers, and pulled you fully upright. “Turn around,” and you did as you were told, got on your knees, and turned around, knowing it was to expose the zipper on the back of your dress so Joe could take it off.

You waited and expected fingers to find the zipper, but instead, you got soft lips pressed on top of your shoulders first. Then your shoulder blades, and soft, featherlight touching fingers slowly moved up and down your arms. It left you breathless and shaky, and when finally, you heard the zipper slowly being undone, you were left feeling stupidly needy and fragile. Joe worked your dress down your body, followed swiftly by the unhooking of your bra.

Joe was incredibly delicate, and the anticipation left your whole body tingling.

With your dress still around your thighs, and your knickers still on, Joe pressed his chest against your back and the skin-on-skin contact let a happy sigh fall from your mouth. Joe then quickly let his big hands find your chest and you were shocked by the sounds that escaped you. You were quick to bite your lips into your mouth to keep all those filthy noises inside, where they belonged.

Joe caressed, squeezed, let his fingertips slowly stroke and then would grab. He alternated, would lose himself for just a second and grow rougher before pulling himself back into tender, sweet, and soft touches.

Then, he let an arm curl underneath that then slid up in between your boobs and you couldn’t help the grin that spread on your face. You took hold of his arm with both of yours, let fingers intertwine with his and pressed his full forearm against you, hugging it, just like you had done in your sleep the first time you’d woken up next to each other. You could feel Joe’s smile against the skin of your neck and you dipped your head down to press a chaste kiss onto his hand before turning around to face him.

Joe helped you get fully naked, carefully and sensibly, because Joe also knew the price of the dress you were wearing, and when you laid back down onto the bed with Joe at the foot, still in his boxers, he took a moment to look at you.

Really look.

What an angle, you thought, imagining the double chins Joe was catching from where he was standing and you grew insecure. Even more so when you saw what parts of you Joe’s eyes were scanning, and suddenly, maybe the bedside table lamps were too bright and didn’t need to be on a timer. They could just be off and you could be together in full darkness, wasn't that a fantastic idea? Wouldn't that just be grand? Just, so much better?

"Fucking hell," Joe spoke on an exhale, climbed back onto the bed, unfairly in his boxers still, and planted knees either side of your thighs, his hands finding your hips. "This is–" Joe dropped his head, slammed his eyes shut and breathed deeply, seemingly unable to deal with this.

"You must get this all the fucking time, but you look– it's–... you're perfect,"

You didn't. You very much didn't get that all the time. You tried remembering if anyone had ever called you perfect, but even from your ex, who you had been fucking engaged to, you didn't think you'd ever gotten a compliment in which he had called you perfect.

Joe dipped down, kissed your chest, your stomach, then randomly would bring one of your arms to his mouth to bite before finding your face again to put your mouth to work.

No one had ever called you perfect, but also, no one had ever kissed you the way that Joe kissed you. Or touched you the way that Joe touched you.

Your ex had proposed to you. Had gotten down on one knee, professed his undying love, said he wanted to spend his entire life with you... and yet, he'd never done any of the things Joe was currently doing to you.

Joe was all over you, worshipped every little piece of you he could hold, touch, stroke, kiss, lick and bite and you just... kind of laid there. Let him. Accepted it all. Stared at the ceiling, and tried to focus, tried to be there in the moment, but somehow you'd invited your ex into your brain and your thoughts started running away from you. Away from Joe. From his bed, from his bedroom, down the stairs, all the way down to the front door, nearly escaping out of the house all together, slipping into the dark night.

"No one’s touched me in a really long time," you suddenly confessed, and Joe halted, stopped what he was doing and moved to look at you.

"No?"

You got a kiss pressed to your cheek, just beside your ear, before Joe moved up and met your gaze again. You shook your head a little, swallowing thickly as Joe moved to the other side of your face, pressing his lips against your skin there too.

"What a waste," Joe spoke into your neck, and you felt him move, wiggle his way out of his boxers. "What a fucking waste,"

You looked down, caught a glimpse of how hard Joe was before he tipped your face up by your chin to make eye contact again. His brown eyes danced between yours, and there was something soft about them, something endearingly sweet and caring.

"What an idiot,"

You both knew who he was referencing and you winced slightly, not wanting to talk about an ex when you could feel Joe's full erection pressed up between you against your stomach.

Then Joe found your hand, laced his fingers with yours and brought it up to his mouth. You expected a soothing kiss placed on the back of it, because that was kind of the mood he'd set. But instead, he turned his wrist and brought your ring finger to his lips, kissed right where an engagement ring was supposed to sit and you wanted to cry.

You wanted to cry, sob, wail, and tell Joe all about how fucking awful everything had been the last few months. It all came up at once, bubbled up from deep dark pits, but then it lingered in your throat where it waited, and burned you, and you just wanted it out.

Joe sensed it. Felt something had shifted.

"Hey,"

Both of Joe's hands took hold of your face, bringing your gaze to his own, and his forehead pressed against yours.

"You're here," he whispered, and you let your eyes flutter shut, both of your hands finding his wrists to hold onto.

"Say it, say you're here,"

"I'm here,"

"Say you're fine,"

"I'm fine,"

"Say you're here and you're fine,"

"I'm here and I'm fine,"

"Say you're fired,"

Your eyes shot open and you were met with a dopey smile and loving eyes and it was alarming how loved you felt. Warm, and safe, and... perfect.

Joe was perfect.

You laughed, moved your head upwards, found Joe's mouth and pulled him into a kiss that told him everything you left unsaid. Yes, you can touch me. Yes, I want this. Yes, let's fucking go.

Joe's thick fingers felt you out, touched you in the exact right spots, tested how ready you were for him and his touch had you squirming. You were pulsing as his digits filled you out, his thumb doing the most, and you could see Joe's teeth grind together hard, jaw tensed and biting.

Shock overtook you when you realised you were quite literally about to orgasm any second.

Where the fuck had that suddenly come from?

You had never climaxed from so little touch, so fucking fast. But then, no, of course you hadn't. You'd also never been involved in such lengthy foreplay before and when you started losing full control of your breath, Joe sped everything up.

With your head thrown back, your expression creased and then fully fractured as you came, fully coming undone on Joe's hand, and it had you shaking all over.

"What the fuck,"

Breathing heavily, you caught Joe's eye as he moved up slightly. You saw his plush lips all pink and parted slightly as he stared at you and then broke into a smile. That fucking smile that, even though you'd quite literally just orgasmed, tightened your stomach right back up, fully knotting at your core.

"Yea?" Joe asked, like he needed confirmation. Like you coming within a minute didn't bear all.

You kissed him in response. Deeply, because holy shit, and in the meantime, found Joe's throbbing hard-on with your hand.

You didn't want to waste more time. You squeezed him, pulled on him, let Joe groan guttural noises into your mouth and shifted your hips. Let him know you wanted him inside.

Joe was quick. Knew what you were after, sat back on his heels and positioned himself, lining himself up.

Just before he was actually going to let himself inside and let his hips push into yours, his eyes shot up to look at you and then, without breaking eye contact, he moved forward, making your breath hitch.

Joe moved slow, gave you time, took his time and it was an all-consuming pleasure to feel him fill you out whilst looking at his face. Joe was close to breaking, you could tell from his tight expression that he struggled as he held his breath. It was incredibly hot and it did things to you that you couldn't really put into words, not even if you tried.

Joe stilled for a moment. Caught his breath a little, flashed dark eyes at you, and then, started moving. Joe picked up his pace fast, and you linked your ankles behind him to encourage him.

You saw Joe lean back, hands finding your knees on the side of him, eyes on where the two of you connected. Panting, all breathy. Building up a sweat. Joe looked fucking hot, so insanely handsome, and when a lone curl escaped onto his forehead, you fucking lost it.

You were moaning, let high-pitched and loud inhales and exhales fill up the room. Fuck the neighbours. This was too good for you to hold back, and Joe loved it. Loved every noise he could get out of you, every hitched inhale, every loud exhale, every moan, groan, gasp- it was all too good and it made his fingers tighten, squeezing into your flesh harshly.

Suddenly, you reached an arm up, but Joe was too far away for you to grab hold of him.

"Joe,"

Joe saw, leant closer, let your hand reach around his neck for you to pull him down.

"Want you here," you whimpered into his ear as Joe fully laid down, his front pressed against yours all the way down, hips connecting, still rocking back and forth. This was better. You were sticky with sweat, and very hot, but this was still infinitely better.

And it seemed Joe agreed, because with him so close to your ears, you could really hear every little grunt, and you let none of them escape you.

"Perfect," Joe whispered and got the most wanton moan from you. You'd never sounded sluttier in your life.

It was enough.

Joe sped up more, movements stuttering before he pulled out, just in time and it was stupid, but you felt your chest bloom at the action. You'd not spoken about protection, about birth control, about any of that. Hadn't even thought about it if you were honest, because you'd both been swallowed up in the moment of it all. You realised then that you absolutely wouldn't have minded if Joe hadn't thought of pulling out, but you appreciated with all of your heart that he did.

You moved an arm up, blindly found the drawer to his bedside table and opened it to reveal tissues.

You'd put them there yourself, and Joe chuckled a little through his heavy breathing as he took them from you. Cleaned the mess. Took your hand and kissed it again before darting off to his dressers.

"Second drawer," you said, and he laughed loudly with his head thrown back when he checked and found his T-shirts. He threw you one.

"Boxers, top drawer on your left," you said as you pulled it over your head, and you sneakily watched Joe awkwardly step into fresh boxers before he made his way back over to you.

"This is so normal," he said sarcastically, making you huff a laugh.

Joe sat upright, leant back into his pillows and then pulled you into his lap, your back against his chest, before reaching and covering both pairs of legs with his covers.

You noticed that Joe liked that, had done it several times. Be behind you. Wrap arms around you from the back. Press up against your ass.

You didn't mind.

His arms were slung around your neck now as he held onto his own elbows, chest still heaving from the psychical activity, and he pressed the side of his face against yours.

It was a cute way to cuddle. You kind of loved it, if you were honest.

"So, caffeine, huh?" you broke the silence after a little bit.

Joe chuckled softly, and said, "You've no idea how little I've slept these past few days,"

It was a compliment, but you couldn't help but think that maybe he would've gotten more sleep if he'd turned the fucking TV down. You didn't share that, though.

"All caffeine, no fizz... how's that going to work? You'll never sleep again,"

"I think," Joe started, played with your fingers a moment, then said, "No, I think I was wrong. You're infinite fizz. All fizz, I can feel it, here, in my stomach," Joe moved, pointed just below his bellybutton before he let a chuckle escape his throat.

And you were about to be snarky, say something like, "Those are butterflies, Joe," but you didn't, because you felt it too. Bubbly fizz, deep within, all sparkling and tingling.

Lying in Joe's arms, your back against his front, perked up against the pillows, you had perfect view of the TV.

"Do you want me to turn the TV on?"

"Piss off,"

"I can go back downstairs and sleep in my own bed, use my earplugs, let you get some-" you couldn't finish, turned into a giggling pile of mush as Joe playfully bit into your jaw.

"You're staying," Joe said, his voice low in your ear. "I'm keeping you right here."

You fell asleep in each other’s arms after, both hands with fingers intertwined, legs tangled up, and the TV still turned off. The way your bodies pressed together erased all the loneliness that had lingered in between these walls before.

It was healing in the most wholesome of ways and it filled the dark corners of the both of you up with light. All caffeine. Infinite fizz.

the end

---

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(taglist currently full, sorry)

[losfacedevil]

All Summer Long // S.F.K

a/n ~ After a drabble babble off with the lovely @gretasmokerising​ I took one of my ideas, added a sprinkling of hers and this was born. VERY LIGHTLY EDITED. Word Count 2.2k

Neither of them were fans of what the forecast weather of the day was going to be. Your jaw had dropped when you saw the high of the day would be nearing 100 degrees well before noon time. Pulling yourself out of bed and making quick work of making sure every supplemental air conditioning window unit was turned on high - the central air in your place not the best when temps were higher than 80 degrees. 

Sam sighed at the loss of contact, lazily slitting his eye open as he watched you move around and out of the bedroom. His bottom lip pushing out in a pout as he rolled over, burying his face in your pillow and inhaling a scent that was unmistakably you  as he heard the shower kick on across the hall. He reveled in the rare moment of peace, the water of the running shower pelting down against the tub and you’re humming around a toothbrush while the water warmed slowly lulling him back into a sleep like state. But he quickly pulled himself into a seated position as Rosie barked from somewhere deep in the kitchen, her first request of the day to go outside. Another sigh slipped past his lips as his gaze fell on the alarm clock on your bedside table. 

He shook his head slightly, a soft chuckle escaping him as he heard you begin singing, the sour notes slipping past your lips causing his nose to scrunch ever so slightly. Reaching above his head he arched his back slightly, effectively stretching out his stiff muscles as he pointed his toes pulling his calf muscles taut. A satisfying tingling sensation shooting through his body as he released the pressure he was using to stretch any knots out of his tired muscles. 

The unmistakable sound of Rosie’s nails on the hardwood floor cut through the peaceful quiet of the morning. The pup nudged her nose against the slightly ajar bedroom door, pushing it fully open as she trotted over to his side of the bed. A soft sigh escaped him as he threw his legs over the side of the bed, reaching down to scratch Rosie behind her ears. 

“Wanna go out?” His voice held a teasing tone, giggles escaping him as Rosie danced in front of him, barking at him as he stood. The pup bore down, eyeing Sam up as she pounced, the force of her paws colliding with his thighs enough to knock him back down onto the bed. A chuckle escaped him as he scratched her all over, a few licks of her tongue across his face causing giggles to bubble up his throat. 

“Okay, okay, relax. C’mon.” He stood once more, padding barefoot into the hallway as Rosie zipped past him towards the back door. 

A gentle rap of his knuckles against the bathroom door signaling to you the pup needed to go out as you shut off the running water and carefully stepped out of the shower. You could hear Sam playing with Rosie in the yard, the sound of the frisbee bouncing off of the new wooden pool deck that was just installed filling your ears. 

“Uh oh, let’s not break anything, huh, Rose.” He cooed, tossing the frisbee in the opposite direction. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at him, knew the frisbee wouldn’t do any harm but couldn’t help the feeling of endearment rising in your chest. 

A decision to don your bathing suit instead of proper under garments made somewhere in the recesses of your subconscious as you got ready for the day. You plucked Sam’s swim trunks out of his drawer, turning at the waist to toss the article of clothing onto the bed as you heard the sliding glass door close. 

Sam padded slowly down the hallway, the residual moisture on the bottoms of his feet causing his skin to stick slightly to the floor, the noise of it enough to raise goosebumps over your skin. But you fully enjoyed every second that Sam was unapologetically himself. 

A soft smile spread across his face as he leaned against the door frame, his eyes meeting yours in the vanity mirror as you pulled a brush through your damp hair. He sauntered over to you, his hands finding your hips as he pressed a chase kiss to your cheek. 

“Smell so good.” He cooed, wrapping his arms gently around your midsection. You beamed at his reflection in the mirror, gently untangling the ends of your hair. 

“May I?” The soft look hiding in his eyes shifting to one of adoration as he held his hand out for the hair brush. An excited smile spreads across your lips as you placed the brush in his outstretched hand. 

He had become much gentler with the brush, remembering to hold your hair at the root as to not cause too much tugging. You watched his reflection in the mirror, tongue poking out between his lips slightly as he gently pulled the brush through your now untangled locks. Shivers danced gently down your spine every time he’d swipe the brush over your scalp, the feeling of it soon replaced with that of his fingers as he set the brush down on the dresser. 

“Three strands? Left over middle, right over middle?” He questioned, eyes never leaving your dampened hair as he gently carded his fingers through it, separating the locks into three equal strands. A gentle nod of your head the only confirmation he needed. You knew he had mastered a simple braid and were more than happy to sport it. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, the sheer look of concentration on his face enough to pull a real laugh from the depths of your chest. 

“Elastic?” His hand was outstretched, eyes landing on the little container of clear bands. You placed your hand on your shoulder, palm side up, in a silent request for the end of you hair. 

“I got it, you get changed. If we lay out by the pool now we’ll be able to actually enjoy it before the sun gets too high and the temps rise.” 

Sam’s eyes met yours in the reflection once more, a soft smile playing on his lips as he reached around you and pinched your cheeks, in true grandma style fashion. You swatted at his hand, averting your attention to the container of elastics. Blowing a kiss at your reflection he turned on his heel, making quick work of stripping out of his sleep clothes and into his swim trunks before sidling back up to you. 

“Can I braid your hair?” The question he always loved to hear slip past your lips. Turning his attention to you his eyes lit up like a child’s in a toy store as he nodded enthusiastically; quickly snatching the hair brush up off of the dresser he was stood in front of. You secured the end of your own braid, making sure to pull the tendrils that framed your face just so out of the woven strands. 

“I’ll grab some towels and meet you outside, don’t forget the brush!” You giggled, wrapping your arm around his as you placed a quick kiss to his arm before making your way across the hall to the linen closet. 

Sam walked past you, a swift tap of his hand connecting with your ass as he made his way into the kitchen, whistling into the living room for Rosie to follow. 

He slipped out the sidling glass door, leaving it open just wide enough for Rosie to come and go as she pleased. He stood at the edge of the deck, eyes dancing over the clear water of the pool a smile spreading across his face. He was still in disbelief that he and his brothers were coordinated enough to build something like an above ground pool. 

You made your way through the house, stopping in the kitchen for two water bottles before slipping outside. Your eyes landed on his face, heart swelling at the look of awe that swam through his gaze; knew full well he was proud of the work he and the boys did. 

“Baby cakes.” Your voice was soft as to not startle him. He turned his attention to you as you tossed the towels over each chaise lounge, nodding your head in his direction as you stood behind one. 

Stepping over to you he perched himself on the edge of the chaise lounge chair, quickly maneuvering so he was relaxed against it, letting his hair fall over the back of it. You began carding your fingers through it, lightly scratching as his scalp as Rosie trotted outside, laying beside his chair. 

You began pulling the brush through his hair, ridding it of any tangles last nights sleep caused. A soft sigh slipped through his nose as he let his neck relax a little bit more, tipping his head backwards. Pulling your fingers through his hair once more before beginning to french braid it so it doesn’t tangle in the water. 

A serene look captured his features as his eyes fluttered shut, completely lost in the feeling of your fingers in his hair and across his scalp as you made quick work of weaving the strands together.  A shiver danced up his spine as your fingers swiped at his temples, gathering bits of hair to weave into the braid. 

Moving your fingers quickly you finished off the braid, securing it with a small hair tie. He leaned his head back even more, just enough for you to press a kiss to his forehead before retreating to you own chair. A soft sigh slipped past your lips as you relaxed into the lounge chair, the material warm against your skin. 

Sam let his body relax, his head rolling to the side as he let his arm drop, lazily scratching Rosie’s head. The pup laid out in the sun, half hidden by the shade of the chair, enjoying all the scratches he was giving her. His eyes remained shut, his breathing shallow and level as he basked in the bright morning sun. 

But in true Sam fashion, he couldn’t help himself. He peeked an eye open and took in your figure before pushing himself to his feet. A mischievous grin playing across his lips as he took off at a run, catapulting himself off of the deck and pulled his knees to his chest. His body came into contact with the water, the splash it caused showering you and Rosie with ice cold water.

“Sammy!” A gasp flew past your lips as you scrambled to sit up, holding your arms to your sides as the water dripped off you. Rosie yelped, rising to her feet and retreated into the safety of the house. He popped up out of the water quickly, running his hand across his eyes to rid the water before they landed on your shocked expression. He quickly realized your once dry bathing suit had water drop marks sprinkling it, your mouth dropped open in an O shape, matching the shocked expression on your face. A chuckle slipped past his lips quickly turning into boisterous belly laughs escaping his chest  as he quickly swam to the side. 

“I’m sorry baby, I didn’t think I’d cause that big of a splash.” You pushed your bottom lip out in a pout, watching him lean up against the side of the pool. 

“Sammy.” His name rolling off your tongue in a whine, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” A string of giggled apologies tumbling from him as he scrambled out of the pool. He made his way over to you quickly, water dripping everywhere as he kneeled next to you, pressing a sopping wet kiss to your cheek. 

“It’s not funny.” You mumbled, couldn’t help the way your lips turned down into a frown. He nuzzled his face into the crook of your  neck.

“I didn’t mean to splash you.” He mumbled, nose tracing the putter portion of your ear as water dripped onto you. 

“You’re still getting me wet.” You whined, a soft giggle emanating from you as you tossed the end of his braid over his shoulder. 

“Sorry babe, now you’ve gotta come with me!” He exclaimed, mischievous grin never leaving his lips. He slid his arm under your legs quickly, wrapping his other around your back as he scooped you up and rested you against his chest. 

“Samuel Francis I swear.” Giggles bubbles up your throat as he stood to his full height, leaning down to rub your noses together before he took off at a jog. The jump he took into the water less aggressive as he held you close to him, air bubbles spreading around you as you blew air through your nose. 

He stood quickly, shaking his head as giggles erupted from you, pressing a soft kiss to his now dripping wet cheek. His eyes met yours, adoration clear in his gaze as he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the tip of your nose. 

You wiggled in his grasp, arms tightening around his neck as you tried to pull your legs free from his embrace. A sigh slipped past his lips as he let your legs go, gently falling until you wrapped them around his waist, clinging to him like a koala. His arms found their home around your midsection, reveling in the cool water against his warm skin and the weight of you wrapped around him. 

[ageless-aislynn]

I went and had a look and it's 750 watts for the PSU. 🫤 It wasn't customizable and, honestly, at that point in time I had no reason to not trust that Dell would sell me a computer that wasn't made to, you know, run. 😑

I've run all of the diagnostics available for both Windows and Dell many, many times, all of which it passed even when it was at its worst. I haven't physically looked inside the chassis, mainly because I don't really know what I'm doing, lol, and the bit of a tremor in my hands means I'd be scared to touch something and make it worse. My friend's dad used to build computers and I have no doubt that he would've been glad to take this one and open it up and try swapping various parts to see if it would solve the problem. Sadly, he passed away many years ago now, so I don't have anybody local to have run her through her paces.

Her cooling system was supposed to be improved from the previous year's version but I don't know the specs. I do know that when all of her interior fans come on, she sounds like she's attempting to achieve orbit. 😱😂 Generally, I started watching her hard drive and NVIDIA temps and they never went much above 36C while idling or doing basic browsing, which was when she'd crash the most. I don't know what temp she'd get to while gaming but she never crashed at those points (other than when Easy Anti-Cheat crashed her 😑).

I wouldn't rule out something physically wrong with the NVIDIA card. I've been through half a dozen NVIDIA driver updates or more by this point and some helped but never completely stopped the crashing issues but rather changed them to freezes instead of crashes. 😐 Oh, another thing? This card is proprietary to Dell, so therefore you can't just use the "regular" NVIDIA drivers. You have to use the ones made specifically for the Dell version of the RTX 4070. 😑 NVIDIA rolled out a bunch of emergency updates in the span of time when things were the worst, so I doubt it was just me having issues.

I changed the NVIDIA settings, as recommended at the time, to "prefer maximum performance," which was supposed to stop the card from going into a low power mode or turning off completely. I think if truth be told, there was something wrong with this Dell card because I read about a bunch of people with this particular computer having the exact same problem. Some people solved it with the NVIDIA settings change and new drivers, others didn't.

Most of the people who were still struggling with the issue after weeks and months like I was said they just got rid of the computer. I honestly don't know what brand to go with next. I know it's better to build your own but I don't have the hands for it. The next best option is to have it built for you but I don't have a store very local for that. It's just easier to buy pre-built, you know? But now I don't know who to trust. 🫤

[/wow, more issues than a magazine] 😂😉

Hm, a question for any of my PC gamer friends out there... Have you had any problem with Denuvo Anti-Cheat? I've heard of people attributing it with causing system instability and Blue Screens of Death and, if you've read my blog at pretty much any point after I got my computer last December, you'll know that system instability is the LAST thing I want to introduce back in. It's been 3 months now since Georgette (my computer) finally stopped blue screening often multiple times a day and I don't want to go back to that.

Why I'm asking: I noticed that the Dead Rising Remaster that I've been super looking forward to has Denuvo in it. 😬 I know nobody can see the future and tell me if that would cause Georgette to go back into the seemingly never-ending blue screens but I thought I'd just ask if anybody has had any issues with it while I'm debating what to do. Doing some research, I've found that several games I have installed right now did once have Denuvo but it was removed before I got the games. The Halo Master Chief Collection uses Easy Anti-Cheat, which, for the most part hasn't bothered Georgette. Though the very last time she did crash? It was caused by Easy Anti-Cheat. 😬😬😬

I don't know what to do now, honestly. On one hand, I adore Dead Rising and I've been practically counting down the days to this remaster (though I haven't pulled the $60 trigger on it yet 💸). But on the other hand, there is NOTHING worth going back to Georgette being almost unusable. I haven't installed my Vegas Pro back for that exact reason: I desperately want to be able to vid and make GIFs again but is it worth the risk?

I don't have an answer to that just yet and now I've got to figure out this thing with Denuvo. Also, I didn't realize at the time but some games I already own but haven't installed yet also have Denuvo: Dead Rising 4, Final Fantasy XV, and Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain. Um, yikes?

I don't know, like I said. It might be fine. I just live in complete and utter terror of going back to those "8 crashes in an hour" days, you know? But, at the same time, I know I could hold my breath every time I move the mouse or click a key and that won't stop something from going wrong if it's going to go wrong. I just don't want to be foolish about it and make things harder on myself if I don't have to.

Ugh. Decisions, decisions, which way should I go? I feel like I'm just spinning in place on this one...

[callmelyc]

#2023JuLance

Week 2: Future

Tw- canon temp character death

Canon divergent

If you had told a younger lance he'd be in this position then lance would tell you you were lying. He hadn't even blinked before pushing Allura out of the way, taking the hit of the ion cannon.

Lance had barely heard his own screams over the buzzing in his ears. He couldn't feel anything yet everything all at once, the pain crawling through his veins like spidering lightning bolts.

The moment everything went dark he knew.

And it was his greatest relief...

-1-

He feels like he's floating then suddenly he's not.

The next time lance opens his eyes it's to the sunlight crawling through the windows. He blinks away the tiredness of his eyes to look around which does nothing to alleviate the confusion. Gray walls, hospital floors, fluorescents on the ceiling. This room looks like earth architecture, it looks...human.

Lance goes to sit up but is stopped by a heavy weight on his chest, what he doesn't expect to see when he looks down is a familiar mop of black hair. He fights his other arm against the IV tubes to shakily prod at Keith watching in awe as the other man just snuggles more into lances side.

"He fought the entire hospital to be in here ya know-" a voice says from the door bringing lances attention to the man standing there casually with crossed arms "he's still in recovery too but he insisted he be at your side."

Lance almost missed the man's words, he's much too distracted by the fact this man is /human/, but blushes at the smirk sent his way anyways.

"T-thats Keith for ya..." lance chuckles awkwardly turning his attention back to a sleeping Keith. Deciding he needs a distraction lance brings his free hand up to gently play with the black strands fanned across his side "always so stubborn"

While lance can't see the guy he feels the man's eyes watch him for awhile. Lance tries his best to act like the guy isn't creeping in the doorway before realizing he's moved, stepping in and holding out his hand with a kind smile "we haven't officially met yet, my name is Adam I'm one of Keith's adoptive guardians."

Lance shakes it with shocked surprise, he can't remember Keith having mentioned this before "lance-"

Adam smirks "I know, all of you are bigshots. kinda hard to miss the names"

Lance chats with him for a bit after that and decides he really likes Adam, he's smart, hilarious and sounds like he gives shiro a run for his money. But when he leaves lance is left alone with the confusion again.

He doesn't know where he is or how he got here, yet when he starts running his fingers through Keith's hair he has a feeling it's all gonna be ok.

-2-

The floating sensation is back, this time dizzying with a sharp snap back to reality.

"LANCE!" A door slams and heavy footsteps sound up the stairs "if you aren't ready I swear!"

Lance turns in his childhood bedroom only to come face to face with his sister Veronica. There's no time to feel his confusion this time, no time to be prepared for what he's looking at.

He doesn't even feel the tears spilling from his eyes, isn't even aware he's crying until her face falls in worry "Leandro what's wrong?"

"Vera-" his voice comes out so watery and broken but lance doesn't care because it leads to a hug from her. An embrace he hasn't felt for years since he became a part of Voltron. A hug he could only imagine in his dreams light-years away from the real thing.

So he burrows into the hug, nose pressed to the top of her head and arms wrapped around her so tight he might die if he lets her go. It feels so real, so tangible it only makes the tears run faster and a sob breaks free from his throat.

His sister feels so /real/.

She still has her signature scent down to her usual shampoo, the one he could barely remember the smell of anymore. The room smells like home, the temperature feels just how he remembers it and its all so much lance feels like he's drowning. But he's so so relieved...he's home...Veronica is /hugging/ him.

"Leo?" She ask again voice clearly worried "what's wrong, did Keith cancel?"

Lance sniffles , pulling back from the hug so he could look at her face. What he sees is an older Veronica than he last remembers, one with worry lines and dark circles, yet she still glows like a sunny day. He doesn't understand how this is happening-

He doesn't want it to stop...

Fighting to reign in the tears all the while ignoring how this shouldn't be possible "cancel?"

Her eyes grow confused "the date? He's coming over to meet Mami still right?"

"I-"

Veronica watches him for a while before seeming to decide on something "oh! Are you nervous? Don't worry Leandro we won't chase off your alien boyfriend-"

Lance squeaks in response unable to form words at that but she continues onwards ignoring his turmoil.

She keeps talking all the while lances mind races with /Keith boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend/

He snaps out of it when a hand pats his arm confidently "so don't get all worked up over it alright? You love him and that'll be enough for everyone else."

As she drags him down the hall, lances mind is short circuitng for another reason.

'did she just say I love him?!'

Veronica wasn't enough to have prepared him For seeing his family again, they all shared a similar worry to her when he burst into tears before she explained lance was just scared. To which they all so Lovingly reassured lance that they'd do anything to make sure he was happy after everything he'd been through. With every hug he strived to remember each of their scents and their faces that had grown blurry in his memory.

*

When Keith gets there he gives lance a small gift and a very sweet kiss lance thinks he'll remember forever. The best gift of the night though, is watching Keith sit at his family's dinner table smiling right alongside them.

When Keith's eyes meet lances they sparkle with amusement and so much affection lance can't help but smile back just the same.

-3-

The floating is the only gentle part of it this time, he's nauseous and feels like he's falling right alongside that floating sensation. Then, again, he's snapped into reality.

His eyes come into focus to the view of an Arizona sunset. Colors wash over the rock formations in beautiful brush strokes of orange and red but nothing is as beautiful as Keith is in this moment.

Keith is looking off into the distance, head resting on one knee he has pulled up and he looks so relaxed lance doesn't want to break the silence. So he leans into Keith, resting his head on the other man's shoulder.

Together they watch the sunset disappear leaving way for the stars to sprinkle the sky.

-4-

For the first time the floating sensation is exactly the same as the previous time. He's floating, nauseated, yet falling at the same time. When he snaps to reality this time he's at an altean dinner table.

Sitting around the table is his entire team but older. shiro with grayed hair, pidge with longer hair, hunk having grown into his features, coran and allura looking almost the exact same then there's Keith. Keith who sits next to him with an aura of joy and contentment he's never quite seen on him before.

And when Keith smiles at him it's exhilarating.

Someone makes a playful jab about them getting a room, Keith replies in rapid fire causing laughs to roar through the room. It's a happy get together, lance has never seen his space family so relaxed but all he can focus on is Allura.

Allura who is dressed like a queen, allura who has a strange glittering glow about her. He first thought it a trick of the light but with every time their eyes meet her glow becomes more prominent.

No one comments on it, lance thinks he's the only one who can see it.

It reminds lance a lot of when she'd healed the balmera or healed anything at all. It unnerved him just the same as the floating did.

Before things fade away this time Alluras stare changes, it's more serious, more focused on him and her glow is the brightest he's ever seen.

-5-

If lance thought the floating staying the same was unnerving before, he was right. It was the calm before the storm because this time there's not a drop of gentleness. He's tossed around, it feels like crash landing in one of the lions but zero gravity, it feels like being body slammed into reality.

So when he wakes this time it's more startling, lance thinks he might not stick this time yet the hands gently holding his bring his mind back down to earth.

Lance is face to face with a Keith that's looking at him so Lovingly he thinks he might just die again. Everything in his peripheral is white paired with shades of red and blue. The softness in those cosmic eyes and gentle grip grounding him are enough to make lance crumble but then he realizes Keith is speaking.

"You once said I was like the future...." Keith says and it's so /soft/ lances heart swoops "but I think, our futures lie within each other."

Before Lance can do anything there's a sharp pull, he looks down and sees his hands are glowing just like Allura had been, then he's torn away from a Keith that's holding back tears of joy.

This time when lance opens his eyes he doesn't feel the floating, the confusion or the sense of displacement. All he feels is overwhelming exhaustion and phantom pain climbing up his left side. Before he can even gather his bearings he's crushed in a relieved hug by an Allura that's not glowing.

There's tears in her eyes when she says "thank Alran-" and everything after goes so quickly.

Lance is thrown in a pod just to make sure, tears are shed, the clone shiro betrays them, the castle Is damaged,Keith comes back-

He has half a mind to ask allura about everything he saw, about how real it felt but then he'd have to explain why Keith was the center of every dream. Lance decides he's better off not knowing.

At least...not yet.

-+1-

After all these years it's finally here, their wedding day. Lance had poured over every excruciating detail down to the color of the buttons on Keith's suit jacket and it was perfect. This was the best day of his life.

Spending these last ten years with Keith had been a dream come true, they had confessed sometime after his return from the blade and stayed inseparable ever since. Keith was everything he could ever want and more- and oh God lance was gonna cry before he finished his vows!

He feels Keith squeeze his hands in support despite fighting off the tears himself, lance reaches out to wipe one away before finishing his speech "Keith, every path has lead back to you and no matter the distance I'll follow you across the universe because you're my guiding star."

Keith chuckles wet and fond before starting his own vows that make lance cry almost instantly with how sweet they are. He's a mess by the time Keith closes with "you always said I was the future...but I think our futures lie within each other."

/Click/

After dancing the night away they walk hand in hand along the shore in a peaceful silence. Suit pants rolled up to let the waves roll across their bare feet and jackets left behind to enjoy the cooler air. Perfect for thinking, perfect for remembering.

Lance remembered once that Keith explained the space whale to him and how the flashes of the future felt like dreams he couldn't touch. Lance had never told anyone about the future he saw, how real it felt, how he could feel all his senses in them so vividly.

He thinks now he finally understands, he's lived this all before, if only briefly, but now it's his to hold. So he looks at Keith pulling his husband to a stop.

"What is it?" Keith questions gently turning to face lance and rest his hands on the other man's hips.

Lance wraps his arms around Keith's shoulders with a smile "I think...our futures actually lie together."

Note: this is based on a 1am trying to sleep "what if" (pic attached of the rushed note idea) and is in a canon divergence au where the lotor bit doesn't happen, lance is really close to Veronica, they arrive to earth just as the Galra do which is why they start in the hospital in lances future snippets. Things are altered a bit to for the rest.