#and only meet when our mutual friend invites us both

[heretherebedork]

The only time I regret being so bad at communication and having friends IRL is when I want either dim sum or hot pot because both of those are difficult alone.

It is literally the only time.

I could not handle more need to socialize with people otherwise, tbh.

But sometimes I need a buddy who wants to go try unusual foods with me and lets me get the most eclectic stuff and tries it all with me.

Could I, probably, do this easily by just contacting people? Yes. Am I going to? Nope. Is it a big problem? Nope.

(The biggest issue is that the three people I am most likely to go out to eat with are either incredibly picky, a vegetarian or can't eat beef... all of which rule out most hot pot stuff, lol.)

[maxverstappendefender]

Hi I was wondering if u can make an imagine with max verstappen where the reader is an athlete also (tennis player please 😮‍💨😮‍💨😭😭🥹🥹) and she is also from Netherlands

her and max were like in the same school or neighbors or even Victoria’s friend and her and max used to be dating since they were young teenagers but they broke up because of their careers (more like she broke up with him lol🤭) and they meet again at a gala or a wedding when they are at the top of their game her being world no.1 and many grand slams winner and him being world champion and then they have a confrontation with a lot of angst and yelling and max being heartbroken 💔💔🤌🏻🤌🏻

other part to this request: "Also about the max and athlete reader like if u can make it inspired by “call out my name” by The Weeknd 🥲"

a/n: this is such a good idea, i love some good angst. i made it a smau and also written parts (more towards the hend). i don't know much about tennis but i tried. the google translate dutch is probably bad but that's fine. hopefully i did your idea justice <3

warnings: profanity (?), alcohol

my masterlist !

The Dutch Athletes

yourusername posted on instagram!

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yourusername and that's a wrap on the lovely game of tennis, back to training for next season :)

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user PROUD TO BE DUTCH BC OF THIS LADY AND THIS LADY ONLY

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landonorris you're serving! (do you get it? im so funny)

-> yourusername ty lan (the tennis jokes are never funny)

-> landonorris not even a pity laugh.

user i see a certain someone hiding in the likes

-> user 🤺🤺🤺 be gone sir

victoriaverstappen cannot wait to see you next week!

-> yourusername i miss my favourite dutch person

-> user max is punching the wall rn

user wait, im new. why is everyone hating on max verstappen here?

-> user y/n dated him a while back but they ended it in 2021 for reasons no one knows. lots of speculation but they never confirmed or denied anything. he still has loads of pictures of them on his insta but she deleted hers, probs wasn't a mutual breakup in that case. she's still good friends with lando, charles, and max's sister!

-> user he probably cheated or something

-> user they both seem happy so we shouldn't make assumptions :)

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y/nmaxupdates still no new content of our favs together so we are doing a little throwback thursday to one of y/n's posts from 2015 (she has removed the post).

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yourusername posted a story!

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yourusername vegas baby! vv thankful lando is okay. congrats on the podium charlie!

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charles_leclerc You say congrats but you wear a McLaren hat

-> yourusername only because lando invited me, not you!

user max being cropped out has me CACKLING

user we were so so close to some y/nmax snippet by her posting him but she fucking cropped him out

landonorris i'm so mad i crashed, my helmet was so sick for this race. do you think i can wear it to the clubs tonight?

-> yourusername lando istg if you wear your damn helmet anywhere tonight. you are supposed to be staying at the hotel with me anyways?

-> landonorris i don't see a doctor that will stop me from leaving. but my helmet looked sick right?

-> yourusername eh

landonorris we literally spent like 3 days together before the race and you still chose that ugly picture

danielricciardo VEGAS BABYYY. tonight we party.

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yourusername 'VEGAS BABYYY. tonight we party.' ~daniel ricciardo (and don't worry, i didn't let lando leave the hotel looking like that)

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it had been a wonderful night so far. lando couldn't drink due to the drugs the doctors gave him so you didn't drink either out of solidarity. lando had gone off to do lando things, probably finding a way to the dj booth or socializing with whoever he can. you were just sat at this couch in the vip area. you were talking to charles for a while before he went off to do celebratory shots. you were so tired from the timezone difference, vegas compared to the netherlands was messing with your system. you had your head leaned back against the couch, your eyes were just looking at some of the drivers having a lot of fun and celebrating in one of the best party cities in the world.

you felt someone sit down next to you on the couch. you didn't know who it was at first but you quickly smelt the cologne and knew. max. you two hadn't really spoken since 2021, when you ended it. it wasn't the prettiest of breakups but we were both stupid kids and in love back then. you both should've known it wouldn't work out. you tried, though. you tried with every single thing you had in you but at the end of the day, fate would always be stronger.

"hey, y/n. haven't seen you in awhile," max finally said, breaking the silence. he sort of had seen you though, on instagram. had he missed you? every fucking day. you broke up with him though, and you seemed happier. if you were happy, he would accept that.

"sure," was all you said. that was your telltale sign that you did not want to talk. but let's be honest, max verstappen not having a conversation when he wants to sounded impossible. he wanted to fix things, he wanted to fix it all. why wouldn't you let him? "any chance we can talk?" he asked you. he wouldn't really take no for an answer. he would just talk to you while you listened, but even that would be stretching it.

you stood up from the couch, careful to not look at him. if you looked at him, you would be a goner and would do just about anything he asked you to. you were a strong person except when it came to max. "see you around," you muttered to him before leaving the vip area. you would infact not be seeing him around, not if you can avoid it. maybe not drinking was a bad idea. you had spotted lando who was busy chatting away to someone. "fuck," you whispered under your breath, realizing that the person who you had to make sure got home safely was still having a good night. you wouldn't want to cut his night short, especially when his night started bad with the race.

you felt some hands wrap around your waist and before you could protest, these hands were pushing you out this door to the club's back alley. you knew those hands though. you knew them all too well. "max, what the hell?!" you shouted at him as you felt the cool night air hit your face. it felt better than how being inside that club felt.

he knew this was probably too far. but when has 'too far' ever stopped him. he was so done with this all. 2 years of not having more than 10 words shared between you two. you two used to talk every single day, where did it all go wrong? he knew this one was his fault. he was the one who had lost you, all for racing. he gave up you for racing. he was a royal idiot for that. "i am so done with you not even talking to me!" he shouted to you. he was thanking god that you two were in an alley and not somewhere public for this.

"i don't want to talk to you," you said to him. not many people held their ground against max, but you always did. you never wanted to talk to him again, not since your breakup. you were happy and had a great life, you didn't need the mess that was max verstappen. "you never do!" he said back. that was true and you both knew it.

"you're right! i never do! because you fucked up," you shouted to him, putting your finger straight to his chest. the breakup was infact not mutual like the media made it seem. you two broke up because you were trying to support him in racing while still building a life in tennis for yourself. you could see the stress eating away at max that year and he still wouldn't let you help. even if it was help from afar. you tried to be there. he didn't even try to be there for you and your goals either.

"i know i did. believe me, i know i fucked it up," he said to you. there had been quite a few sleepless nights where his brain just wouldn't turn off. he had only been thinking about you. tonight was just his breaking point. he was done acting like he hadn't been thinking about you.

there was a moment of silence as we just looked at eachother. we had grown up a lot since we last got close like this. "so then why? just why?" you pleaded to him to just give him a real answer. 2021 had been a hard year for him and you knew that. but you were his girlfriend. you were meant to be there and help him but he wouldn't let you. he pushed you away at any chance he got. then you were alone. it was an endless cycle of you trying to help max with his stress, him pushing you away, and then you also getting lost to your own stress.

he put his hands on either side of your face. he knew he couldn't give you the answer he had given you when you asked this question 2 years ago. he couldn't say "just a tough year" because although that was a part of it, it wasn't the entire truth. and you deserved the truth. "i pushed you away before you could push me away," he said to you as he looked into your eyes. he felt like an idiot for saying that but it was the whole truth.

you gave him a slightly confused look. that had been a different answer than what you got 2 years ago. how could he even think you would push him away? you loved him so much and you had for years. you would have clung to him, even in death. "if i wouldn't have won in 2021, there was that thought that you would be gone," he admitted.

"i wouldn't have left. i wouldn't have ever done that," you quickly said. you had to say that really quickly before he spoke again. clearly your words took him aback a little. he really felt stupid for ever thinking that you would leave, let alone leave simply because he won a championship. mentally, you said 'fuck it', and just kissed him. you pulled away for a second to whisper, "je bent een idioot, max verstappen (you are an idiot, max verstappen)". then you kissed him again.

he smiled in the kiss, his hands in your hair and yours in his. your words were true, he was an idiot. he would probably have to kiss you a million times to make up for him pushing you away. and that was a price he was willing to pay. he felt you pull away and as desperately as he wanted to pull you back into him, he knew you had some more words to say.

you pulled away. "but you left. you left when it got hard and i will never put myself in that position ever again," you said to him. your lips stung with how much desire you had for max. but you had to make smart decisions, you could not get hurt again. and deep down, you knew he would leave if it got hard again. him leaving again would hurt too much. you had a good life now, he had a good life now.

he felt his heart shatter at your words. but he knew you were right that he had left when it got hard. he had taken the coward's way out. he wanted you to be happy and you seemed so happy with your life now. he couldn't take that from you. he nodded his pain away and spoke softly to you, "i hope you have nothing but happiness in life". then he walked away. he walked away but this time for your sake. he knew you wouldn't walk away from him so he walked away from you. he really did hope you had nothing but happiness in life. he could hear all about your happiness from the bits that victoria shared with him.

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y/nmaxupdates NEW CONTENT!! I REPEAT NEW CONTENT OF MAX AND Y/N!! that kiss?? oh we are SO back.

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[dyns33]

Truth and Dare(devil)

My favorite cute idiot, Matt Murdock x reader 

Y/N and Matthew had been friends for years.

They had met in college, thanks to Foggy who loved talking to everyone, and whom Y/N had found both funny and friendly. The future lawyer had then invited her to meet his roommate, best friend and, if all went well, avocado at law.

Right away, it had been obvious between Y/N and Matt.

They got along perfectly well, two gentle, empathetic humans, wanting others to be happy, being caring, and awfully stupid.

Foggy often made fun of the two saying they were like twins or soulmates.

Matt considered himself very lucky to have two such wonderful friends, and he didn't care what his roommate might say.

After graduation, they kept in touch, calling each other often and meeting regularly at the bar whenever they had time.

Their friendship was still the same, and that was why Matt felt he had to confess to Y/N that he was Daredevil, after all his other friends found out, that he nearly died several times, and the danger being there even for those who didn't know.

It was difficult, she was afraid for him of course, she asked him a lot of questions, but since she knew Matt very well, Y/N knew that he wouldn't stop even if she begged him.

They had known each other for years, she accepted him as he was, and there was no reason for there to be any resentment or secrecy between them.

Or almost.

     "There is still a secret between us."

Karen looked at Matthew for a long time, who had obviously had too much to drink, displaying a big smile as he pointed his beer at Y/N, while Foggy got up to go to the bathroom.

     "Which one ?" asked Y/N, curious, not seeing what he was talking about.

     "You know. Of course you know. Marci's party."

     "I need more details."

     "Marci's party ! Truth or dare."

     "Truth or… Oh, no. Matt, no, not that again."

     "What ? What ?!" Karen said shaking her friend's leg.

     "Y/N ! Y/N here didn't honestly answer a question during the game and she always refused to tell me the answer."

     "It's been over ten years."

     "Exactly ! Tell me. Tell me your secret."

     "What was the question ?"

     “Who is hrt crush." Matt repeated proudly, finishing his drink.

The evening at Marci's had been complicated. They didn't remember everything, Foggy threw up in a closet after kissing a girl, Matt fell asleep in the bathroom, and Y/N didn't really have fun, because of this stupid question.

     "I should have taken dare."

     "But you took truth !" sneered Matt. "And what did you answer ? 'Yes, there is someone, but it's nothing, it's not mutual, I don't want to talk about it.' And, I don't care who it was, but you seemed so sad. Because they didn't like you. I want to know who that idiot was to tell you that they didn't deserve you, and that you had no reason to be afraid to talk to us. To talk to me."

     "Matty..."

     "Y/N."

He continued to smile proudly, his eyes focused on her chest, showing that he wouldn't give up, and he smiled even more when she sighed.

     "Fine. You're right, it's been ten years, so I can tell you."

     "I can't wait to find out." Karen whispered.

     "It was you, Matt."

The smile froze then, becoming strained, before starting to fade. Karen's was accompanied by a small cry of surprise.

     "No way !"

     "Yes. From the first day, when I met him. it was hell, he flirted with all the girls, then there was Elektra, then more girls. Foggy asked me all the time if it was not too hard."

     "Foggy ?" Matt wondered, coming out of his torpor for a moment. "Foggy knew about it."

     "Of course, everyone knew. You were the only one who didn't know, it was painful. Why do you think they asked me that question ? I was so ashamed. But that's okay, it's in the past."

     "What is the past ?" Foggy asked, finally finding his place, completely not noticing the expressions on his friends' faces.

     "My crush for Matt."

     "Oh, that ? Did you tell him ? Shit, I wanted to tell him at your wedding."

     "You are not funny."

     "I am extremely funny, thank you, I am the comic element of our group, in addition to being the most handsome and the most intelligent."

Matthew then listened, still hearing that sadness he had heard years ago, at Marci's party, as Y/N answered without answering that stupid question, avoiding looking at him.

She had said that was in the past. Speaking of this evening.

But was this the case for her feelings ?

Her heart was beating fast, like every time they were in the same room, and now Matt only heard that, not concentrating on Karen's laughter, or Foggy's gentle teasing, or Y/N's soft voice.

When it was late, he offered to walk her home.

     "Given your condition, it is rather me who should accompany you." she said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

     "I'm fine, I haven't had that much to drink. I'll sleep on the couch, if you're afraid I won't find my way in the dark, jumping from roof to roof."

     "Haha. Now that you've said that, you're definitely sleeping on my couch. Come on."

He let her take his arm and lead him to her apartment, even though it was absolutely unnecessary.

Before, the gesture would have been natural. Welcome. Matt had never asked himself the question, he liked that Y/N touched him. He liked having her near him. He... He loved her. A lot.

     "Truth or Dare ?" he said as they waited to cross a street.

     "Matt..."

    "Do you want to start ? Alright. Truth for me."

     "I don't feel like playing."

     "I'm sorry... It's just... I had a crush in college too. I guess. I never wanted to admit it, because she was someone I loved very much, who made me happy, and since I always scare away the people I love, I think I was scared and always preferred not to change anything between us, to make sure I didn't lose her. But tonight, she said she had a crush too. On me."

Y/N stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, letting go of his arm and letting him walk alone. He stopped a few meters away, still listening to her heart beating faster and faster.

     "... Truth."

     "You still love me ?" he asked almost shyly. "You love me, despite everything you know about me, everything I've done ? Everything I've done to you ?"

     "... You already know the answer."

     "I didn't even think you didn't just consider me a big brother until tonight. Foggy must think I'm an oblivious idiot."

     "No, you're wrong, the whole campus thought you were an oblivious idiot. No big deal."

     "You're still avoiding to answer." he noted, continuing to turn his back on her. Because he was scared, because maybe he was wrong, and he wasn't sure he knew her answer.

He heard her heart move closer to him, and he tried not to tremble as she wrapped her arms around his chest to hug him, pressing her face to his back.

     "Is it bad if I still love you ?" she whispered, very quietly, but knowing he could hear her.

     "Only because it proves that we are two idiots who have wasted a lot of time."

     "I don't think so. I had a great friend until now, and now I have... I have... I don't know what people call it these days."

     "Luck ?"

     "No, I think they say date, or thing."

     "A thing ? I'm a thing ?"

     "A wonderful thing." Y/N scoffed. "A great thing. An incredible thi..."

Grabbing her hands for her to let go, Matt turned to kiss her, making her stop talking nonsense. This made her laugh, while totally disrupting her heartbeat. The most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

     "No more secrets ?" he asked between two kisses.

     "I promise. You'll still sleep on the couch tonight."

     "Of course."

Matt slept on the couch. For eight minutes. Then Y/N came to get him, because he wasn't wrong, they had already wasted a lot of time, and they weren't that stupid.

[milfjuulpod]

Christmas In July

req: yes

can you please write one where fem reader has a mutual flirtation with melissa (but neither realize it's for real). Its christmas time and she helps melissa decorate her classroom and/or breakroom for her and Barbara's christmas party thing? Maybe Barbara invited reader to the party- knowing they're both being dumb and like each other- without melissa knowing.

A/N: hello! thank u for sending this request :)) warms my heart. sorry it’s a bit on the short side, but i hope u enjoy! also this gif ;-;

The long-awaited holidays had finally rolled around. It was the last day before break, every teacher and student alike buzzing with excitement. Except you, of course. You were a bit disheartened to leave your Abbott family, even if just for a few weeks. There was one person in particular you would miss a bit more than others, Melissa Schemmenti. The two of you had an interesting dynamic that you weren’t ready to let go of quite yet. 

       The unrelenting thoughts bouncing around in your head were interrupted by a much softer voice. “Hey sweetheart, what’s got ya thinkin’ so hard over there?” Melissa asked as she walked in with a cup of coffee already. You shrugged instead of answering, and insisted on asking her about her morning. 

       As the two of you caught up, the rest of the staff filed in. Only Barbara had the nerve, (and honestly, the right), to include herself in you and Melissa’s chitchat. “Well, if it isn’t the two lovebirds. Y/N, what are your plans for celebrating this evening?” She inquired. While you had a puzzled look on your face, Melissa turned to her friend to shoot her a look you had only seen a few times from the redhead. She seemed angry, betrayed perhaps. Not wanting to keep Barbara waiting, you stopped reading into your friend’s expression, and replied. “I have big plans, with a bottle of wine and my couch.”

       Before Barbara could continue, the bell rang, and everybody started shuffling out. You felt a hand wrap itself around your arm, and turned to meet the woman once again. “You know,” she said quietly, “Melissa and I have a tradition of dinner here, before we go see our own families. You should join us this year,” Barbara invited you, and left just as quickly as she came. Melissa was next to grab your attention, but instead of grabbing your arm, she wrapped her own around your waist and pulled you into her side. 

       “Stealing my friends now are ya? What was that about?” She teased. The smell of her perfume engulfed you, distracting you from answering her fully. “You know I would never take Barb, besides, I already have you.” She smiled in response and squeezed your hip before letting go, leaving you a bit flustered in the break room, now alone.

       The rest of the day was spent carrying the nerves from earlier. After texting Barbara during your break, you decided to pick up a bottle of wine and a few flower displays. You wanted to make a good impression, maybe Barb and Mel would invite you again next year if it went well. The thoughts of holidays with Melissa started to flood your head. You know she would make the most delicious dinner for the two of you, maybe visit her family too. And perhaps afterwards, Melissa would become overwhelmed with her adoration for you and show you just how special you are to her. 

       Before your thoughts could get even more carried away, the final bell rang. Funny how fast the day passes when you spend the entire time daydreaming about your coworker. Quicker than you would’ve liked to admit, you ushered the kids out of your classroom. Once everyone had found their parents, and after some heartfelt goodbyes to your students, you walked back to your classroom for the supplies. 

       The walk to the break room was quiet, halls empty once again. Upon entering, you saw Melissa, there for the same reason. “Oh, hey hon. What are you up to?” She asked. You walked closer to her and into the room fully, wine and flowers in hand. “Barbara invited me to dinner with you guys. Did she not tell you? Should…Should I go?” Quickly you realized Melissa was completely unaware of the invitation that was extended towards you. You slowly started taking steps backwards towards the door again, until Melissa once again was wrapping her arms around your waist. 

     “No stay, please. I’m glad she invited you here, honestly I was too nervous to do it myself. I’m glad you’re here babe,” Melissa reassured you. You tried not to read too into the pet name slipping off her tongue like it was nothing. Or how warm her skin felt, or how her grip around you tightened with each passing second. 

      You smiled, and muttered a quiet ‘thank you.’ It was impossible not to get lost in her eyes, you weren’t ready to pull away from them—or rather, her—just yet. “I see you brought wine, smart thinkin’. We usually run out pretty quick,” Melissa pointed out, loosening her wrap around you and backing up a bit to give you space. You tried not to miss her touch so badly. “Yeah, and I got flowers too. Maybe for the centerpiece?”

       The two of you started decorating the break room together, transforming it from its usual scene to the perfect Christmas set. Melissa’s phone lit up on the table, and based on her expression, it wasn’t a good notification. “Is everything okay?” You asked. 

       “Yeah….yeah. Barb just canceled so, I guess it’s just us two,” She answered, and maybe it was the lighting, or maybe it was the nerves, but you swore her cheeks turned the lightest shade of pink. “Well, let’s get started then.”

       Melissa started making a plate with food, and before you could grab your own, she handed the full plate to you, and started making another for herself. She was like this the rest of the night, taking care of you when you didn’t ask. You didn’t have to, Melissa just knew somehow what you were feeling and what you needed. The wine had started to settle and left a warm feeling in your stomach, only growing hotter the longer you spent with the redhead. 

      “As much as I love spending time with you Mel, I think it’s about time we call it.” You said solemnly, looking at the time on your phone. Doing so made you miss the frown that Melissa sported, saddened at the thought of saying goodbye. The two of you stood up to start cleaning, silence engulfing both of you. “I don’t usually say this but, I think I’m gonna miss you during break,” Melissa finally spoke. 

      You looked up at her, blush covering your face from your cheeks to the tips of your ears. “Yeah? I’m gonna miss you too. I really am,” you replied. 

       “Then let me come see you, take you to a real dinner.” Melissa said. She stopped whatever it was she was picking up and met your gaze. You felt like the world around you was spinning. “Dinner? Like…” You trailed off, wanting, needing Melissa to confirm what you thought you could only hope for. 

       “Yeah, dinner. Like…? A date? If you want?” Melissa answered, nervously messing with her fingers as she spoke. You walked closer to her before speaking again, “Yes, please. I would love that.”

         Melissa returned to her favorite stance with you, her arms finding their way around your waist and her hand pushing on your lower back, nearly forcing you to be close to her. Truthfully, you loved when she held you like this, and based on the smirk on Melissa’s face, she knew you liked it. “Okay,” she whispered, “Tomorrow night then, I’ll come pick you up.”

[natjac]

My entire life I’ve been forgotten. Being the closeted gay kid with only girl friends I didn’t get to go to the sleep overs and wasn’t invited to the parties cuz I was the quiet kid in the back. I had interests no one cared about when I talked to them or they would call me obsessed.

Adult life got easier. I made good friends but was still always felt like the plus one. Spending nights in country bars and other places where my friends met guys and I was their support cheering them on and protecting them but always alone after.

Guys treated me like shit when I would talk to them. Disrespectful, ghosting and putting me down to make themselves feel better.

Then I met you, and you did none of that. You listened to me, even with things you knew nothing about like when you saw my best friends had Pokémon types assigned to them in my phone and you went through all the types to pick yours out even though you knew nothing about Pokémon cuz of your religious parents.

Remember the map I made of all the meaningful places we had been to as a valentines present and I used all those bitmojis cuz that show you met me (you said my bitmoji on Snapchat was cute). Remember the home theatre we made at your apartment? Or when it snowed on campus and how pretty it was. Remember when we got our rescue do Brie?

Fixing my moms place after the contractors stole from her. Going to Del Rio and meeting your family. Your dad and mom both inviting me into their house to celebrate Christmas with them. Taking a secret Vegas vacation my sister and best friend payed for just so they could meet you. Remember when I would drive to Houston in summer with no ac just to have lunch with you during your internship? Remember all the amazing “alone” times we had? The things I could do that no one else could.

And so many more wonderful memories and moments.

You showed me love, affection, attention, and made me feel attractive for once in my life. You did so much good for me. You became my best friend and my boyfriend. And yea you messed up. A lot.

You cheated and I forgave you each time. I’d ask why and you wouldn’t give me anything but “i don’t know.” But those were a drop in the bucket compared to the good times. The laughs, the love.

I helped you through your mental illness, took you into the hospital and talked to your family when they thought I was just your roommate. Four times I did that. Never held it over your head but only wanted to help you. I moved from everyone I knew to be with you in North Carolina, to support and love you when you got into Duke. You said you wouldn’t get in but I knew you would. I never doubted.

At my sisters wedding you told my best friend you wanted to marry me. 5.5 years on my life all of the unfaltering love, dedication and sacrifice. All of it would have been more than worth it for a life time with you. That’s all I ever wanted.

A month later you told me you had cheated and didn’t think you could stop. You said it was something you needed to work on, on your own. With out me or anyone else. So we planned to break up. Maybe get back together after you grew. But we agreed I shouldn’t be in that pain anymore.

Then you got into a new relationship in less than 2 months. With a mutual friend that I was wary of your friendship with. And you spin the same story again. “I didn’t mean for it to happen. I don’t think the flirting and us texting till 4 am led to us getting together. You are just trying to make things fit in your narrative.” Even though you are supposed to be working on these issues on your own. That’s why we broke up right?

And after you guys got together and we were still trying to help me deal with the breakup the compassion and apologies changed to mean spirited comments and frustration. To the point of our friendship and all mutual friends with us had to be cut out. I lost all of them. Because you did wrong.

The worst part of this all though. You act like the last 5.5 years didn’t exist. You have no respect or compassion for what I did.

Because if you did I would get genuine apologies and answers for what you did. I wouldn’t have been forgotten about when you and your new boyfriend talked to our friends to make sure that they were ok with it and you hid it from me. You two apologized to them but not me. Neither of you are accepting or acknowledging that the flirting and shit led up to this. Or the lies you’ve told. Or possibly worse how you cared about others feelings but forgot about me.

And that’s my fault for believing that some measure of love you had for me would carry over. Or our friend and you to respect me and apologize for the months of flirting and pain you two caused me afterwards with the lies and backstabbing.

You will never understand what you did to me. To bring someone to such happiness and then utterly destroy them. To the point that I sit and wonder which parts of our relationship were real and which were fake.

I don’t know if I’ll ever stop caring and loving you. You became my best friend, and I lost both that and my boyfriend at once. And the loss of respect and care on your end… nothing I could have done would have prepared me for that.

Now I sit here every day, trying to move on. Trying to find a reason to keep going. With thoughts of ending my life bombarding me because if someone that I cared for and loved that much can so easily forget about me and erase me from his life like I was nothing. What am I doing here.

Anyway I’m going to therapy starting this week. I think it may help. I hope it does and I hope I find someone who will accept every good and bad part of me and will embrace them.

I don’t wish you ill will despite all of this. I want you to be happy and healthy.

But I know you will be haunted by us. Even if you act like you aren’t. Haunted by memories of what you threw away. For who you threw away. For the pain that you caused me.

And I hope I forget you. Because you have now tainted all the good times. I never thought that I would feel this way towards you. I know I never will forget you. But if there was an option to I would take it now.

Our relationship was to date my proudest accomplishment. But you are my greatest disappointment.

[obsessedwithtoomanythings]

The Terrifying Ordeal of Falling in Love with Leon Kennedy

CHAPTER 1

Pairing: Leon Kennedy x Reader (female reader)

Series Warnings: Minor injuries, Leon teases reader a lot, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Drinking, Drinking followed by driving, DO NOT DO THAT THIS IS FICTION, Anxiety, Leon S. Kennedy has PTSD, Leon has an anxiety attack, Anxiety Attacks, Swearing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Nightmares, Leon S. Kennedy has Nightmares, Cuddling & Snuggling, Probably incorrect medical talk, Strangulation in one tiny little scene, Reader's brother was a cop who was KIA, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Grief/Mourning, Christmas Fluff, Mistletoe, Fluff and Smut, Eventual Smut, Arguing, Love Confessions, Looking for Alaska is mentioned, Inconvenient Love Confessions, Penis In Vagina Sex, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Oral Sex, Cunnilingus, Leon loves eating Pussy change my mind, Shower Makeout, romantic smut, Desperate Leon S. Kennedy, They are both desperate for each other tbh, They say I love you as they come, Scar Kissing, Enthusiastic Consent, Always pee after sex, UTI PREVENTION, POV First Person, No use of Y/N

Words: 1.6K

A/N: Alright, this took MONTHS. Big thanks for @chaosandbubbles for always validating my writing.

Masterlist

January 2004

Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy

Vanished when I saw your face

All I can say is, it was enchanting to meet you

-Enchanted, Taylor Swift

“Hey hon, want you to take this one,” Dr. Dalton says, a hint of pride in his voice as he pokes his spikey ginger hair in through our shared office space. I glance up, confused for a minute and he chuckles at the sight, coming into the room leisurely, his stride confident and collected. The clipboard is clasped between his fingers as he offers it to me with a smile. “I want to see how you do without me looming over your shoulder and breathing down your neck.” I feel my eyes practically bulge out of my head. “Relax. The guy’s in here pretty regularly, he’s decent. He won’t bite,” he adds, pushing it into my shaking hands as I stand. He tacks in a barely audible “Probably.”

“A-Are you sure?” I mumble, words practically being choked out.

“Trust me. You’re ready.” His hand lands on my shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Besides, if he starts convulsing or salivating at the mouth, I’ll be right in here.” I breathe a deep sigh, attempting to bury the anxiety that swirls through my mind by retying my hair into its almost-too-tight ponytail. Spinning on my heel, I walk into the sterile white room. Why they don’t paint these rooms to be more inviting, I will never understand. 

The lavender diffuser does little to cover the overwhelming scent of antiseptic and bleach, my nose scrunching unconsciously as I glance down at the clipboard in my hands, which are still trembling.

“Glad I’m not the only one who hates the way it smells in here.” The voice that speaks is deeper, and I jump a little at the suddenness of the unexpected sound. Finding the source is easy, and my stomach flips when I see him sitting in the blue plastic chair.

Dark tee shirt clinging to defined muscles, the fabric stretching to accommodate the flex as his arms are crossed across a broad chest, black pants a little less tight but still leaving no question of his strength and stature. His legs are outstretched in front of him, crossed at the ankles leisurely. His stringy blonde hair is curtaining over his cheekbone, not quite covering the obvious blue of his eyes. The lingering sensation of those eyes trained on me makes me feel exposed, like a bug preparing for dissection, but I shake the feeling off.

“You’d think I’d be used to it by now, but I can’t seem to get over it,” I say, glancing down at the clipboard once again, just long enough to get his name. “Do you wanna come sit over on the exam table so I can get a good look at you, Agent Kennedy?” I ask, watching as his eyebrows raise with a small smirk appearing on his lips. I quickly tumble over more words. “I mean, a good look at your injuries, not you specifically. I mean, not that you’re not…” I take a shaky breath before laughing slightly at myself. “I’m gonna quit while I’m ahead.” He chuckles to himself, almost silently, like he was trying to conceal it before standing and following me to the table. The clipboard hits the table with a crisp clang before I turn to the agent now seated on a slightly softer plastic and crinkly paper.

“I hate being in here, but Hunnigan insisted on it this time,” he explains, fingers clasped together, resting in his lap. It’s hard not to notice the way his eyes dart around the room at the smallest sounds; Dalton stapling something in the office, the ding of the elevator, even the wheels of some kind of cart out in the hallway causes his muscles to tense almost painfully.

“Any reason why?” I ask, grabbing two blue nitrile gloves from the box labeled with a tiny little ‘S’ while trying to keep my eyes on him. He shrugs.

“My right shoulder took a hit, and I think a couple of my ribs are broken.” It’s a start. I move toward him, moving slowly enough that he is able to predict my motions. No need to put him more on edge than he clearly already is.

“Can I have you remove your shirt so I can take a look at the shoulder?” I ask innocently. “I can turn aro-” I practically choke on the rest of the words as his arms cross over his chest before gripping the hem of the fabric and easily removing it. He sets it down next to his thigh on the makeshift bed. A light chuckle pierces my ears and I look away from the black and blue patches of bruises that are smattered across his ribcage.

“You’re looking like you’ve never seen a guy without his shirt on.” The tone of his voice is cocky, pride wafting off of him in waves. Or maybe that’s the sweat.

“That’s not why I was surprised,” I admit, walking over to remove an ice pack from the freezer before tossing it to him, which he catches easily. “Press that to your ribs, please, Agent Kennedy.” It has a ‘please’ tacked on, but the man can clearly tell that it wasn’t a request. He listens, hissing at the chill on his skin as I move around to look at his shoulder. Asking him to turn away from my frame, I take a small breath at finally being released from his intense gaze. The shoulder is much worse than I thought, something bloody hidden under some crude gauze pads secured with medical tape. “I’m gonna remove this gauze.” He nods, his hair bobbing slightly at the movement.

“Can I ask what did this?” I question, tenderly attempting to peel the gauze off with as little pain as possible, but the skin has taken to sticking to it cause of the dried blood. I feel him tense slightly at the sensation.

“That’s… classified.” Mumbled words barely audible. I nod in understanding, despite knowing he can’t actually see it. I drop the piss-poor patch job onto the table, frustration rising. There is a gash the size of my forearm sunken into the light skin there. “Did they disinfect this?” He shrugs noncommittally with his left shoulder. I sigh, irritated at his lack of communication. This is his body. Why does it seem like he’d rather be anywhere else?

“I’ve never seen you in here. Are you new?” He asks, making small talk to fill the blatantly uncomfortable silence.

“Yeah, just started a few weeks ago. Dr. Dalton wanted me to take care of this on my own,” I explain and then, giving him fair warning before I gently pour some disinfectant on the wound. Another hiss. A mumbled apology.

“Ah, so I’m your first victim?” He asks with a smile, his head cocking to the side to make brief eye contact. A poor attempt at an evil laugh leaves my lips in response, cheeks dusting pink at the smile I receive.

“Yes. How does it feel, knowing your name will live in infamy once I’m caught?” I ask, a teasing lithe in my tone. He scoffs, but I can still see the small smile he wears.

“Just make it quick, yeah? I won’t even plead for my life.” The words are meant to be a joke, and deep down, I know that. But the way he says it? It’s almost like he actually wants that. I give my head a slight shake to clear the thought as I tenderly place a softer gauze over the gash before securing it, the wrapping going over the top of his shoulder and under his armpit a few times. I pat his shoulder gently before walking around in front of him again, his eyes finding mine quickly.

“I have good news, Agent. You’ll make it.”

“Yeah? Not gonna keel over?” He asks, gesturing to his shirt. I nod, signaling to him that he is free to put it back on.

“Nope.” I pause, mind running with the desire to help. If he’ll let me. “Can I ask you something?” His gaze returns to me after tugging the fabric back down, watching as it settles comfortably over his form.

“Sure.”

“Do you wanna talk to Dr. Dalton about any kind of therapy or medication? I couldn’t help but notice how on edge-”

“It’s cause I just got back. The overactive perception fades after a bit. I’m fine.” The softness of his eyes has faded, turning into a brick wall. Or a dam, to hold it all in.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep. I was just trying to he-”

“Am I good to go?” The tone in his voice has shifted, cold and distant, all sources of the smiles I saw earlier gone. I nod mutely, handing him a form and a pen to sign the paper with. Then the pen scratches across the paper roughly before he hands it back, and I’m finding it impossible to meet his eyes, despite his earlier behavior of not looking anywhere but at me. He walks toward the exit, and I can hear his boots thudding against the tiled floor.

“You did good.” I turn quickly toward the door at hearing his voice again.

“Sorry?” My voice is quieter than intended, almost making it sound like I’m afraid. Agent Kennedy’s head tilts, looking over his shoulder, no smile, just looking.

“You did a good job. You took good care of your first victim.” For a moment, and only a moment, I see a glimmer of a smirk flit across his mouth before he’s gone, the echo of his boots practically filling my ears as he makes his way down the hallway.

Leon: @house-of-kolchek @bonnibuckets @athanasia-day @muffimtv Everything: @chaosandbubbles @kassiekolchek22 @akiramoon8088

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for assuming my friend was single? (TW: small mention of suicidal ideation)

I (21FTM) have known Jake (22M) since we were in middle school. We became close friends early on during high school, and have had a good relationship ever since. When he and his long-term girlfriend broke up during our junior year, I was the person he turned to the most. The break-up was bad. Like, really bad. Bad to the point where I sometimes worry that he wouldn’t be here today if he hadn’t reached out to me. (Not in the sense that he was unhealthily dependent on me, or that I felt responsible for his mental health. He got a therapist and responsibly handled all that with her, but only at my insistence, and I fear that’s a step he never would’ve taken if I didn’t insist.) By senior year, he and became FWB. We weren’t worried about it messing with our friendship—he’s heteroromantic, i’m aro—and it continued for about a year until the both of us left for college. We’ve stayed friends and our relationship has remained close. We talk so often that it rarely feels like anything’s changed at all.

December of last year, he excitedly told me that he got a girlfriend again in Emily (21?F). I was ecstatic, of course. He’d struggled a lot with the idea of a romantic relationship after his last girlfriend, and I was happy he felt comfortable enough to open up again. As I said, his previous relationship really fucked him up. Anyways, because of the distance, I never got to actually talk to Emily much outside of when she was at his place during our video calls. She was super nice from the few times we did interact, and from the way he described her when she wasn’t around, you’d think she was a literal angel. Him gushing about her lasted up until early May. Suddenly, he didn’t mention her at all. It was like she never existed. I didn’t see her once at his place, and the few times I tried to ask about her, he instantly shut me down. He was more down than usual, not to the point of worry like I’d previously seen him, but to the point were it was notable. I asked him a few times if he was alright, and reminded him that I was there whenever he needed me, but he just said that he was going through something rough and that he’d be okay, but didn’t really want to talk about it. I didn’t want to push, and from the way he reacted whenever i brought up Emily’s name, and from his previous experience, I assumed she and him had broken up. I had no way to contact her to check, and even if I did, that’d feel like overstepping, considering I never talked to her when he wasn’t around. It was obviously a sensitive subject and stressing him out, so I followed his lead and just didn’t mention her at all. Their relationship wasn’t my business, after all, and if he didn’t want to tell me what happened, that was his right.

School got out for the summer, and shortly after both of us returned home, he asked if I wanted to rekindle our FWB relationship for the summer. It wasn’t like it was the first thing out of his mouth, and he seemed to be doing a lot better seeing him in person, so I agreed. That was in the beginning of June. Cut to two days ago, nearly two months later. Jake left for a family vacation a week prior, and will only be returning at the end of the month. Meanwhile, I meet up with one of our mutual friends who I haven’t been able to see until now due to our conflicting schedules. While talking, she makes some joke about Jake and Emily having “trouble in paradise.” My heart stops as I ask her what she means. Didn’t they break up months ago? She tells me no, they’ve been having relationship issues for a while, but they’re still very much together. She shows me a picture from Emily’s instagram (I don’t use instagram, for reference) that Emily had posted just a few hours ago of her and Jake kissing on the beach. What Jake conveniently forgot to tell me about his “family vacation” is that his girlfriend had *also* been invited.

I instantly tried messaging him that we need to talk, but either he isn’t checking his phone (unlikely) or he knows I know and is purposefully ignoring me. Logically, I know that he’s the bigger asshole in this situation. But I can’t help but feel slightly at fault. I feel like I should’ve questioned him more, or found some way to reach out to her, or even asked any of our other mutual friends about it, because obviously at least one (maybe even some) of them knew, and all of his could’ve been avoided. I also don’t know what to do regarding Emily. I have her instagram now, curtesy of my friend, but I’m afraid to message her. Not necessarily afraid to break the news, I’m already constructing a message to send to her (which I will be doing), but more afraid that she won’t believe me. I’ll have to make an account, and I’m afraid her being messaged by a blank account created only hours ago from a guy she talked to a few dozen times, max, may be sketchy. I don’t know what I’ll do if she doesn’t believe me (I have a few messages from him, but no photos, and those screenshots could be easily faked), because there’s no other way for me to contact her. If she blocks me or ignores the message because of how sketchy it sounds, there’s nothing else I can do.

TLDR: I assumed my friend had broken up with his girlfriend due to him acting weird when I brought her up, became FWB, only to find out he was using me to cheat on her. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

taking away mc ships, what are you shipping in the our life cinematic universe?

okay so mcs are all off the table damn

hhhHHHHNNNNGHHH i had to think about this one for a minute

quick tldr:

lee/ren

derek/ren

baxter/liz

cove/baxter

opal/cliff

vianca/liz

serenity/tamarack

cove/tamarack

derek/tamarack

derek/qiu

okay so my first one might be a hear me out-er butー lee and ren. our sweet cousin lee and ren murray. LIKE CAN Y'ALL SEE MY VISION??? they would be the cutest girlfriends. like, lee is bright and forward but she's gentle and patient enough that ren's shyness wouldn't be something that grates her? and she'd gently coax ren out of her shell

lee doesn't give 'outdoorsy' girl, but she would definitely try out camping and hiking for ren because lee's the type to go out of her way like that. so yeah, definitely ship lee and ren for sure

another compatible person for ren that i can see is derek? like omg that would so fucking cute to me! both of them are sportsy, derek is literally a golden retriever in the shape of a person. he's very considerate and he takes that into account if ren comes over to hang out with his family, knowing when she needs her space

but if derek is putting too much pressure on himself, ren is there to tell him just that. she doesn't say it unkindly though. she just wants her bf to not be his biggest critic. and they love doing any outdoor activity together. when they get their families together, its suarezs versus murrays and afterwards they go to a family restaurant and talk the night away

ironically enough, even though baxter had a canonical crush on qiu when they were kids i don't see it moving past that. it's a crush fond to baxter's heart and he keeps it at that, a fond memory. definitely would never tell them ever. but if i was gonna ship him with anybody in the expansive universe of ol...

hear me out but i feel like liz and baxter would be surprisingly compatible. like, she doesn't take any bs and would get the guy to talk and open up. but if someone comes for him, she is right there in his corner ready to bat for her man. they'd have some good banter as well i think?

i think cove and baxter could also work if it's their step 4 selves. baxter is finally done running away from things and being more genuine and vulnerable and while cove is slow to warm up to people, he would see baxter is trying and slowly but surely their "we only hangout if our mutual friends invite us to the same space" turns into texting each of their own accord and eventually that becomes hanging out of their own accord

then the next thing you know, baxter is asking cove out on a date

oooh yes, i see it more clearly. cove and baxter would be a delicious slowburn for sure, it's drinking and leaving no molecules

i ship opal and yusuf together and i'm really hoping something comes from that when we get the full game however comma.... opal and cliff? i kinda see it and it kinda eats

outside of vianca's canonical gf, vianca and liz give power couple vibes. i don't think i need to expand on that, we all know i'm right and we all know it would eat

if i can't be with my autumn queen tamarack, i would want her to date serenity? they just seem like they would be the cutest cottage core gf/goth gf combination and the two friends in the group that everyone goes to for advice/drama. they gossip about it over tea and still they're the most wholesome couple you know

cove and tamarack also just seem like they'd be very cute together? summer boyfriend meets autumn girlfriend. in a childhood neighbors to friends to lovers type beat, i know they wouldn't get along as their step 1 selves. cove would be pretty put off by how loud and wild tam was at first. plus, neither of them would really like the same activities as the other

tamarack finds the beach boring and stagnant because she's a forest girlie and it isn't like cove is one to just be in the forest and forage mushrooms all day. but during one night when cove tries running away, strangely enough it's the loud girl he doesn't normally enjoy being with sticking with him the whole time and a friendship is birthed from that

step 2, cove is so there for tamarack when she is dealing with everything with her parents. and by step 3, he's telling tamarack he's been in love with with her since they were teens

chef's kiss, cove/tamarack hits different

step 1 derek sees this:

and immediately falls in love, i don't think i need to expand further on that. y'all know how derek is and i feel like everything i said about cove comforting tam can be applied here as well. he'd try to shoot his shot with making a marriage promise with tam too i see it very clearly

and, don't get mad at me for repeating myself but

step 1 derek sees this:

and immediately falls in love. but since qiu is a popular kid, good luck, my guy. at least derek can rest assured knowing that qiu's his good buddy and slightly more special than the rest. i think with qiu he might feel too nervous to do the marriage promise thing since qiu is a popular kid and who knows if he's already received a ton of those

in a scenario where they aren't close as step 1 folk though or qiu pushes derek away during their step 2 phase, derek is hurt but he still tries putting in the effort to rebuild that bridge, letting qiu know he's there regardless of what they're going through until finally... qiu reaches back

they had their ups and their downs but qiu appreciates derek not giving up on them and sticking with them through the hard times

by the time qiu is back to their normal rizzler self, derek's busy with sports and it is hard for them to meet up with each other but they stay in contact. but step 4 would be when they get together because derek let's it drop he had a crush on qiu when they were kids "haha definitely over it NOW though" (he is not)

qiu gains a crush on derek between steps 2 and 3 but never said anything because they kinda felt after being such a jerk to derek during a good chunk of high school, he doesn't deserve to pursue him but after hearing derek had a crush on him qiu decides they're gonna shoot their shot (happy ending ofc though)

i'm leaving terry and randy out of this though, they're too fucking cute for me to separate

[imagines-babes]

i love your q!quackity writings sm omgomg pls do more🫶🏽

Perfectly Wrong (q!Quackity)

Hello thank you for enjoying them. Here another. I really wanted to use this song so I came up with this idea. The song is ‘Perfectly Wrong by Shawn Mendez’ i hope you enjoy it and leave me more request :) maybe next story will be ether pirate!Karl or ghost face!Sapnap or something totally different

Quackity list Masterlist

************

In an instant clock, you both hit it off. Meeting at the house party at Roiers. While dancing started and drinks. It was nothing special but it was nice. They meet through a mutual friend, Wilbur, he introduced you both. Then you two would talk and shortly get together. There were many up and down to this relationship you both had for each other. Some good and some bad.

A good memory would be when you, tilin, and, quackity would have a talk by the water having a camp there for a quest. The fire was going low. Finding some branches on the floor. To see quackity talking to tilin with a smile on his face. Tilin looks at you with a smile and then notices a shooting star they point to it as I sat beside tilin with a smile. ‘Since you saw it you get to make a wish. Wish about anything.’ You smiled while tilin close their eyes. ‘I wish that me, my dad and dad/mom will always be together and be a happy family forever.’ Opening their eye looking between you and quackity. ‘Do you think it will come true?’ They were curious as I nod. ‘ we will always be a happy family. You, Me, and your dad tilin.’ Tilin started to fall asleep on you as you smiled. ‘Always happy huh?’ He questions as he looks over at you. ‘Always happy no matter what happens. Even if something bad happens,’ placing a free hand on his cheek, ‘I will be there for you quackity.’ He flashes a smile and then stares at tilin with a smile.

Losing our Tilin was the worst case of our bad times. Tilin was our egg and our family. After losing them everything would end up in a fight. Even cleaning around the house we both shared.  You would ask nicely but he takes offense to it. The love between us was dying but in every scenario, we would both end up in each other arms.

Recently, when Wilbur came back from his trip. You notice quackity wasn't there in the house. So you check your map and notice him heading to where Wilbur was. Using Enderpearl to make it halfway there to hear talking some spam e in front of you. Hiding behind some tree to hear only a bit of their conversation. 'Hey, big q who are you and y/n?' Wilbur would ask but quackity ignore it. 'Is that your egg?' Quackity put to someone in the distance to see another egg that looks like Wilbur. 'Yeah I've ...' he cut him off, ' because of you leaving you made me lose my child.' Your heart stops. 'I thought you and y/n were raising one together.' Quackity laughed, 'You think I wanted an egg together with them? I wanted an egg with you,' you froze hearing the words out of his mouth. 'But look at things you have an egg for yourself so you left my tilin for your daughter,' Wanting to leave you tilted your head a little to see Wilbur trying to explain what happened till he looked at you with sad eyes. Quackity stares at Wilbur to notice he wasn't looking at him but what was behind him. He turned to not see anyone. Wilbur invites Quackity to meet his daughter. You slide down the tree with your knees to your chest. He never wanted to be with you. He only claimed to be tilin only parent you weren't brought once. You hoped he didn't mean it like the way he put it. So you left. Going back to the house. Heading towards where tilin would sleep to see one of their extra bows next to the bed. Held it up close to your heart. Crying for tilin. Telling the gods that you would do anything. But it was set as stone tilin was never coming back.

For what felt like an hour, hearing the front door open seeing quackity slouching a little. He came up to you bringing up your hand to kiss them. He looks up at you with admiration. This was the up to your relationship with him. How sweet he was. How caring he was. And you loved him. If you wanted to leave it would hurt you so much. So you never left. Pushing down your pain to only see the good loving side of this relationship. That night you both slept side by side as if there are no problems in your relationship.

[dulcesiabits]

lunar sigh.

summary: your best friend convinces you to move in with a stranger, but both you and xiao are running from your past.

notes: 9.3k words, fic, modern + roommates au, mentions of violence + death, bad parents + bad friends (ie scaramouche)

If you were honest with yourself, you would admit that moving in with a stranger was one of the worst ideas you’ve had in a while.

But to be fair, it technically wasn’t your idea in the first place. It was Ganyu’s, and when you first texted her that you needed a place to stay, she responded that she knew a friend who was looking for a roommate, coincidentally enough.

It’s not like you had a lot of options, so you agreed before you could lose your nerve. And besides, anyone who was friends with Ganyu couldn’t be that bad, right? 

That’s how you found yourself standing outside a dingy little apartment, lugging cardboard boxes up and down the stairs with Ganyu and your new roommate.

“Xiao is actually a really sweet guy,” she whispered to you as you passed her on the way back down. “I promise. He’s just… a little awkward.”

You glanced at the man in question. It was nice enough that he was helping you move your boxes, you supposed, but he’d barely said more than six words to you when Ganyu had introduced you in the morning.

“I’m Xiao,” he had grunted. “These are your keys.”

Ganyu had shoved him out the door when it was obvious he wasn’t going to say anything more after that, saying that he should help you move all your belongings. 

“I can tell,” you mumbled back to her. “Great conversationalist, that one.”

Ganyu smacked you lightly on the shoulder. “Give him a chance!”

“Ow! Fine, I will.”

A few minutes later, all your boxes were shoved haphazardly into your new room, and all you needed to do was unpack them. Ganyu left, saying she had a lunch meeting with some coworkers to discuss their latest business project, giving you another meaningful stare before she left.

“We should make some house rules,” you said, leaning against your doorframe, surveying the apartment: two bedrooms, one kitchen, one bathroom, and a laundry machine stuck inside a refurbished closet. You’d already agreed to split the rent. “For example, how do you feel about chores?”

“We can split them.”

“Sure. We should alternate weekends when it comes to sweeping the floor and stuff like that. I’ll do my own laundry, and wash the dishes after I cook, and you should do the same.”

“Okay.”

“If you have friends you want to invite over–” you began.

“I don’t invite people over,” Xiao said, cutting you off. “If you’re bringing someone over, give me advance notice.”

“I don’t plan on bringing anyone over, either,” you said, looking away. “Other than Ganyu, but…”

“That’s fine. You don’t need to tell me about her.”

“No using the other person’s stuff without permission, and we should communicate in case of a disagreement or to discuss other rules we should add,” you said, holding up a finger for each rule you listed. “Sounds good?”

“Yeah.”

“Then let’s shake.”

You held out your hand to Xiao, who looked at it with hesitation before slowly taking it. His hand was dry and calloused, his grip looser than you expected, as if he was afraid to touch you with any force.

“Here’s to our mutual cohabitation!” you cheered. You shook, once, and Xiao let go as soon as you were done.

Hopefully you wouldn’t regret this, you thought, your eyes lingering on the tattoos trailing down Xiao’s left arm as he walked into his room and quietly closed the door.

—

For most of the week, you and Xiao mostly kept to yourselves. He got up early in the morning to go and run, coming back just as you woke up to change and head out for the day. You spent most of the week unpacking and settling into the apartment, heading out to walk around the neighborhood and familiarize yourself with the area, noting several restaurants you wanted to try as soon as your paycheck came in.

Xiao would come home sometime in the evening, only nodding his head at you in greeting. The two of you would cook for yourselves, an invisible line drawn in the refrigerator: you put your food on the left, and Xiao put his on the right.

“He’s not that bad,” you confessed to Ganyu one day, nursing a mug of tea in your hands, a blanket pulled over your shoulders. The weather was getting colder as summer ended and autumn approached, the trees outside your apartment blazing with bright reds and yellows in the cooling sunlight. 

“I told you!” Ganyu had a knit scarf wrapped around her neck, her coat still buttoned snugly. You didn’t want to turn the heater on without asking Xiao, and since he seemed to enjoy the cold weather, you didn’t have the heart to. Besides, heating was expensive. 

“Where do you even know him from, anyways?” you asked.

“His uncle was my tutor in high school.”

“Your tutor– he’s Zhongli’s nephew?” you said, eyes widening. “Really?”

Ganyu shrugged. “Xiao lived with Professor Zhongli for most of his life.”

Why would Xiao leave, then? You’d only met the professor several times, mostly waiting for Ganyu to finish her lessons so the two of you could hang out in a cafe or wander around town  afterwards. He was a nice man, from what you recalled, and he gave you milk candies whenever you came over. Sometimes he’d even have your favorite snacks on hand, and you were certain Ganyu had told him what you liked. Certainly, he didn’t seem like the sort to kick his nephew out on the streets to fend for himself.

Well. It was none of your business what happened to Xiao. The two of you were barely better than strangers, and you were glad he didn’t pry into your life. You would try to extend the same courtesy to him.

Your phone buzzed to life on the table, and you picked it up. It was a call from your dad. You silenced it before laying it face down. Ganyu didn’t say anything, though she probably knew who was calling you.

Before either of you could say anything else, though, Xiao walked through the front door, bringing in a gust of autumn air. 

“You’re here,” he said to Ganyu, who waved. “Why are both of you dressed like that?”

“It’s cold,” you said. “And heating is expensive.”

Without another word, Xiao walked over and turned on the heater. “Just turn it on if it’s cold. I can pay for the bill.”

He went into his room before you could thank him. Maybe he wanted to give you some time alone to talk to Ganyu, or you were reading too much into his behavior. 

Despite your earlier promise not to interfere in his life, your curiosity in Xiao was piqued. 

—

The next morning, you waited by the kitchen counter, a fresh pot of black tea brewing on the stove. After a few minutes, Xiao came in from his morning run, right on cue. 

“Hey there,” you said casually. “I made some tea. Do you want any?”

Xiao glanced at you, and then at the tea pot, finally closing the door quietly behind him. “Sure.”

You poured the steaming hot liquid into two cups, one for you, and one for him. You cradled your cup gently in your hands as Xiao took a sip from his.

The kitchen was small, too small for the two of you to be crowding it together. Xiao was only a few inches from you, but you simply drank tea in silence. It had been your bright idea to corner Xiao after his morning run and start a conversation, but you knew nothing about him. What were you supposed to say?

“How was your run today?” you asked.

“Good.”

Silence again. You weren’t normally this terrible at making conversation, but it was hard to gauge how Xiao felt. You could usually play off of other people’s reactions, adjusting the way you acted to ensure you didn’t step on any toes, but Xiao’s poker face was impossible to see through. Was he annoyed? Shy? You peeked at his face, but he looked impassive as ever.

“Do you like black tea?” you offered. “I also have some other kinds if you prefer those. I didn’t know what you like, so…”

“It’s fine.” Xiao set his empty cup on the counter. Your heart sank, before he added, “I wouldn’t mind drinking it again if you made some.”

You smiled, watching as Xiao made his way into the bathroom for a quick shower. Really, you had only done this as thanks for turning on the heat when you were cold, but maybe it wouldn’t hurt to do this every once in a while.

—

Your relationship with Xiao started to improve the day after you brewed him tea. You started greeting him in the mornings, and if he bought an extra bag of chips in your favorite flavor, he would give it to you. The two of you never talked more than necessary, and you wouldn’t call him a friend, but it was still better than what you had before. 

Being on amicable terms with your roommate was more important than ever once college started, because you weren’t getting a minute of peace with your friends back on campus.

“Hey,” Childe said, slapping your neck before you could react. He had caught you unaware, leaving you no time to react as you were walking to class. 

“Jerk,” you groaned. “That’s going to leave a bruise.”

“If that's enough to hurt, then you should consider going to the gym with me.” Childe shrugged. “What were you even doing this summer?” 

“This and that. You know how busy it gets,” you said lightly, knowing Childe wouldn’t press for details. And he didn’t. 

“No kidding! My family and I went camping this summer. You wouldn’t believe how excited Teucer was to catch his own fish for the first time. Of course…” Childe’s voice trailed off to static as the two of you walked. It didn’t really matter what you said to him, as long as you paid enough attention to react with the appropriate amount of surprise at the right parts. 

You liked him well enough, but it’s not like he was really interested in what you thought, or how you were doing. That was fine, because you didn’t particularly invest a lot of time in Childe, either. You were friends, but only in the most casual sense. You hung out during the semester, and forgot about each other once it was over. 

“Hey!” Childe yanked on one of the straps of your backpack, causing you to stumble to a halt. “Look at who it is.”

You turned to where he was gesturing, and could make out Scaramouche lounging at a table nearby, legs crossed as he scrolled through his phone with a scowl. 

Without another word, Childe ran over to him, hooking his arms under Scaramouche’s shoulders to tug him upright. You headed over more slowly, just in time to catch Scaramouche cursing Childe out. 

“You immature moron,” he hissed. “I almost dropped my phone!” 

“It’s nice to see you again too!” 

“Guys, people are staring,” you said. 

Scaramouche rolled his eyes. “Oh, great. I can’t believe both of you are back on campus. Just my luck.”

“Tough luck, eh, Moochie?” Childe said. 

“I told you not to call me that.” Scaramouche turned to you. “You. I’m thirsty after dealing with all of his shit. Get me coffee.” 

“Oh, I want something too!” Childe said, slinging an arm around Scaramouche. 

Scaramouche shuddered, opening his wallet to hand you a stack of bills. “The line’s going to get crowded soon. Hurry up.” 

You took the money without comment. “Welcome back to campus, Scaramouche.”

“Yeah, whatever.” 

You ambled off, the sound of Scaramouche’s and Childe’s bickering rising up behind you. The local coffee shop on campus wasn’t too far, but you relished in the peace and quiet and walked as slowly as you could. Just as Scaramouche predicted, customers were crowding the store and spilling out of the entrance, bored students with scarves around their necks and backpacks slung over their shoulders.  

As you stood in line, you considered getting a drink of your own. Scaramouche had given you way too much money (classic trust fund kid behavior), and it’s not like he said you couldn’t. He always treated you like his personal gofer anyways, an annoying little attachment he had to put up with when he hung out with Childe. You saw how he looked at you, but you knew how to deal with his type, so you just grinned and bore it. There was no point in starting an argument if you could avoid it. 

By the time it was your turn to order, you had decided against buying something for yourself. Scaramouche would be sure to comment on it, and you weren’t that thirsty anyways. You paid with his cash, took his and Childe’s drinks in both of your hands, and you were wondering if you could deliver their drinks in time before your next class when someone held the door of the shop open for you. 

“Xiao?” you inquired, and he tilted his head curtly at you. You walked through the door and stepped to the side. “Thanks.”

Xiao waited until a few more people scurried out until he let go of the door to join you. “You’re drinking both of those?”

You shook your head. “No, these are for my friends.”

“You didn’t get one?” 

You shrugged. “Hey, our rent is pricey. It wasn’t my money, anyways.” 

Xiao glanced at the door of the coffee shop. “If you’re holding back for a reason like that, don’t. I can—”

“No! It’s okay!” You stepped in front of him, the coffee sloshing. “I wasn’t in the mood for it.”

Xiao let out a breath. “If the rent is troublesome, I could cover more of it.” 

“I can’t let you do that. We have an agreement, remember? I’m picking up more hours at the library today, anyways, so that should help a bit more.” 

“Today? What time are you getting home?” 

“Er… 9, maybe?” 

“Got it. I’ll walk you home, then,” Xiao said matter of factly. 

“You don’t have to! I would feel bad, seriously. And I might get off late, and I don’t want to make you wait.”

Xiao shook his head. “No. It gets dangerous at night. I can study until you’re done. Text me when you are.” 

Without another word, he left without giving you another chance to protest. It was nice how sweet he was. You felt a smile break across your face; neither Childe or Scaramouche would have offered to walk you home.

When you finally brought Scaramouche and Childe their drinks, Scaramouche took one look at you and said your smile was more obnoxious than usual. 

—

You’d had your library job since your first year of college. It was just one of many different job applications you sent out into the world, desperate for a way to make your own cash so you didn’t have to owe your parents. Many places ghosted you, but the library was one of the few that replied. You had come to like being your job (as much as someone could, anyways). The hours were flexible, it was right on campus, and most of your duties consisted of helping students check out their textbooks. Sometimes your boss made you file information in the library’s systems or sort through the archives, but mostly, you threw yourself into mindless work and received a nice paycheck in return.

The first week of school was always busy, so you were stuck running around shelving lost books and answering confused students, completely forgetting about Xiao’s promise to pick you up until your phone buzzed at 9:15. 

Are you done? 

Shit. You fished your phone out of your pocket to type a quick reply. 

sorry!!!! running late >_< u can head home first!! 

Five seconds later, another text. 

I’ll wait by the bike racks. 

Your heart leaped. 

ok!!

With a renewed burst of energy, you started swiftly shelving the rest of your books. You didn’t want to keep Xiao waiting for longer than he had to. 

Fifteen minutes later, you said goodbye to your coworkers and ran out the door, hastily zipping your coat against the chill.

“Hey,” Xiao said. He was leaning against the bike rack, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jacket. 

“I’m sorry I made you wait! I know it’s cold, and—”

“I chose to do this. It’s fine.” 

You rubbed your hands together. “Right. Of course. Thanks again.” 

Xiao ducked his head. “I offered.” 

Silence again. Nothing but your breaths clouding the air, the stars winking in the sky above you. At least you didn’t feel the need to fill it with small talk. 

“How were classes today?” you asked. 

“Good. Yours?” 

“Mine, too. What’re you studying?” 

“Biology.”

You weren’t sure what you expected, but it certainly wasn’t that. “Can I ask why?” 

“I want to get into veterinary school.” 

“I didn’t know you liked animals,” you said, imagining Xiao surrounded by a group of excited puppies. It was surprisingly cute.

“It just… happened to work out like that,” he said slowly. “I wasn’t even sure if I could go to college at first.” 

Could, he said. Not would. Did something happen to Xiao? But it wasn’t any of your business. You smiled instead. “It’s nice to have a dream.” 

“What about you? Do you have any dreams?” 

“I’m the same as most people,” you said lightly. “I’m just trying to get through the year first.” 

“I know you’ll do well.” 

“You say that so confidently,” you joked. “That’s a lot of trust you hold in me.” 

“It’s because…” Xiao paused, as if choosing his words with great care. “…Ganyu told me a lot about you.” 

“Oh, yeah. She said you guys had the same tutor.” 

Xiao nodded. “We used to run into each other a lot. We grew up together.” 

“I’m surprised I didn’t see you, then. Ganyu and I became friends in high school, and we hung out a lot.” 

“I wasn’t home a lot in high school. Maybe that’s why,” he said, voice tense. You had stepped into sensitive territory, and you needed to retreat. 

“Maybe. So, do you have a favorite animal?” 

“I like birds.”

Time passed like that, with simple questions, an easy back and forth. You learned that Xiao liked the color green, and almond tofu, and rarely dreamed. Before you knew it, you reached the entrance of your apartment. 

As the two of you tumbled into the warmth of your apartment, Xiao spoke again. 

“I’m going to make tea. Do you want any?” 

“That sounds great! I’ll set out the cups.” 

For some reason, it felt like the stars shone twice as bright tonight.  

—

It seemed Ganyu had a knack for roping you into situations you weren’t eager to get into. Maybe that’s why she was so successful at her office job; she probably had an easy time convincing clients to sign away their life savings with her gentle smile. 

“You’re nervous,” she noted, as the two of you huddled in front of Zhongli’s door. “Don’t be. They already think you’re great.”

You stomped your feet, trying to regain a semblance of warmth. “We barely spoke, though. The longest sentence I’ve ever said to him was ‘hi, how are you today?’”

“It’ll be fine! It’s just a casual dinner. He just wanted to get to know you a bit better.”

“Because I’m rooming with Xiao, right?” 

“I mean, yes. That is part of it. But…” The door swung open and Ganyu faltered. You knew that mischievous grin. Hu Tao appraised both of you, and then clapped her hands together. 

“Esteemed guests, welcome, welcome to Hu Tao’s humble abode! We’ve been awaiting your presence with great eagerness!” 

Zhongli’s daughter, you thought. She hadn’t changed much since you last saw her. 

“Hello, Hu Tao,” Ganyu said. “I brought over my friend for dinner.” 

Hu Tao took your hands in hers without warning. “Hello, hello! I haven’t seen you since Ganyu graduated! Dad’s basically done, so you guys can wait in the dining room.”

The two of you took off your shoes at the entrance of the house, setting them on a shoe rack nearby. Walking down the hall in your socks, you could hear the distant sounds of Hu Tao’s voice. The walls were covered in framed photos, pictures of academic men and women you didn’t know, and a few family photos of what you assumed was Zhongli’s family. A baby Hu Tao. A smiling woman holding hands with Zhongli. And Xiao. 

Your eyes lingered on Xiao’s pictures. The youngest had him in elementary school, a pout on his face as he hugged his backpack close to him. There was one where he was holding the skirts of Zhongli’s wife. A few pictures of him in middle school, bandages covering his knees as he stared grimly at the camera. There were no photos of him after that. Had your roommate really been so little once? At least his scowl hadn’t changed much. 

“He was cute as a kid, wasn’t he?” Ganyu said. 

You started; she was already at the end of the hall, leaning against the frame of the dining room. You had been so engrossed in Xiao’s pictures that you didn’t even notice. 

“He’s not that different from how he is now,” you said lightly. You hadn’t done anything wrong, but you tore your eyes away and hurried to meet her. 

The dining table was already set by the time you arrived. A bubbling pot sat in the middle, a divider separating the spicy and mild broth. Plates of ingredients sat around it, little bowls of fish cakes and sausages, mushrooms and fried tofu. Sauce bottles stood guard at the end of the table, where napkins, chopsticks and bowls had been set out in front of four different chairs. 

Zhongli and Hu Tao already sat at two. You took the next next to Ganyu, clicking your chopsticks together absently. 

“I brought you something, Professor Zhongli,” Ganyu said, pulling out a little box of pineapple cakes from her purse. “Thank you for having us over.” 

Zhongli took the package, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled at her.  “It’s my pleasure. Sit down and fill your plate. Have you been eating since you started your job? There’s no excuse to skimp on a good meal.” 

“I have. Don’t worry,” Ganyu said. 

“Come on, dad. She’s going to starve to death if you keep talking,” Hu Tao said cheerily, throwing several of the ingredients into the pot before her. 

“Of course. Come on now, don’t hold back.” Zhongli turned to you. You tried not to avoid his gaze. “You should eat a lot as well.” 

“I will,” you said.

And so dinner began. Ganyu only ate vegetables, and Hu Tao dumped most of the meat in the spicy side of the pot. Zhongli took a little bit of everything, but kept discreetly placing vegetables on Hu Tao’s plate. It was mostly Zhongli who did the talking, asking Ganyu questions about her job, Hu Tao chiming in with a joke once in a while. You tried to keep the attention off of yourself, speaking as little as you could get away without seeming impolite. 

Hu Tao was cute, and Zhongli was nice. But Zhongli, intentionally or not, intimidated you. He always seemed to pick up on the undertones of what Ganyu and Hu Tao said; even if Ganyu said her job was going well, he would simply raise an eyebrow and remind her not to overwork herself. You wondered what he saw when he looked at you. Nothing got by him, and that was why he was the sort of person you didn’t know how to interact with. 

“I heard you were rooming with Xiao?” Zhongli spoke up suddenly, and everyone’s eyes were on you. You picked at the food on your plate, brought it to your mouth and swallowed as you tried to think of what to say. 

“Yeah. He’s been a great roommate.” 

“I’m glad to hear it. I was worried at first when he said he would live on his own, but if he has someone to support him, then that’s all the better.” 

“You know, I’m sure Xiao was happy when you moved in,” Hu Tao said, a grin growing on her face. She pointed with her chopsticks, a piece of fish caught between them.

“I’m sure he would have been happy if anyone moved in,” you said, shrugging. “It’s not like we knew each other beforehand.” 

The piece of fish slipped between her chopsticks, and Hu Tao hurried to pick it up, still speaking rapidly. “Huh? He hasn’t made a move or anything like that?”

“You know how he is. Xiao keeps to himself, and I do the same. I mean, we do get along, but why would he?”

“Well— that’s because—”

“Professor!” Ganyu clapped her hands together, cutting Hu Tao off. “Do you have any dessert? I’m sure Hu Tao would love to eat something sweet right now. What about you?” She turned to you, and you could see her leg bouncing up and down the table, so you nodded. Ganyu beamed. “Great. Hu Tao and I will go get some!” 

Without allowing the girl a word of protest, Ganyu got up, grabbing her by the arm, leaving you and Zhongli sitting at the table alone. 

Zhongli only chuckled. “Forgive Hu Tao. She’s still young, and she likes to poke fun at people where she can.”

“It’s fine. I don’t mind at all.” Think, think. Was there anything the two of you had in common? “Do you remember the times when Ganyu used to get tutoring from you and I would wait for her here? You used to give me my favorite snacks. I never properly thanked you for that.” 

“I appreciate the gesture, but it’s not me you should be thanking. The recipient of your gratitude… well, they mostly likely prefer to remain anonymous.” He grinned, and it reminded you a little of Hu Tao in how sly it looked.

“I see,” you said slowly. The three of them knew something you did not, but since Ganyu and Zhongli were clearly reluctant to share, you wouldn’t pry, at least. 

Your phone rang in your pocket, and you pulled it out of your pocket to glance at the caller ID. It was your dad.

“Do you need a minute?” Zhongli asked.

You ended the call. “No. It’s not important.” 

“I hope you and Xiao can look out for each other,” Zhongli continued. “He’s been through a lot. I think he would appreciate having a friend by his side.” 

Look out for each other, huh? Why couldn’t Zhongli tell Xiao any of this himself? What had happened between the two of them? 

“We’re back!” Hu Tao said, bursting in with a plate of cut fruit while Ganyu carried a plate of pastries. “Everyone ready for round two?” 

You picked a cut of plum from Hu Tao’s plate with a toothpick, and the tart sweetness momentarily chased away your questions about Xiao.

— 

There wasn’t a lot of time to ponder Zhongli’s words with college back in full swing. You had a job to worry about on top of classes, and between your shifts and your assignments, it didn’t leave a lot of room for much else. 

Xiao always insisted on walking you home every time you had a late shift. You had told him he didn’t need to, that you had done this a million times before, but he would still wait for you in the same spot every night. 

The two of you had grown more comfortable together, and you would make the effort to spend your free time together. You still made him tea after his morning runs, and there was no longer such a strict divide between your food in the fridge; you regularly borrowed ingredients from each other, and you even started sharing an egg carton. It was cheaper that way, you reasoned, but it also made the apartment feel like home.

One night, as you often did lately, you and Xiao browsed through channels on the television and settled on a cheesy comedy show, sitting side by side on the couch. Well, you watched, and he would scroll through his phone when he got bored.

“It’s snowing,” Xiao said unexpectedly, staring at the living room window.

You paused the show. “No way.” As if on cue, the two of you headed to the window, pulling back the curtains to press your noses against the frosted glass. You were greeted with soft, fluffy flakes which dusted the windowsill, the stars making soft halos in the distance.

Impulsively, you headed for the door. “Let’s go out and see.”

“Right now?”

“Right now!”

You and Xiao clumsily tugged on your sneakers and pulled on your coats. In another breath, you tumbled down the stairs, skidding across the slick pavement.

“Snow!” you said, waving your arms wildly. “It’s real snow, Xiao!”

The stars shone in his eyes as he watched you. “Don’t fall.”

You laughed, sticking out your tongue to catch snowflakes. “We could build a snowman.”

“There’s not enough snow.”

“That’s quitter talk,” you said, crouching down to drag a finger through the film of snow that covered the ground. “But when it snows enough… you have to. Promise?”

“... Promise.” 

“Let’s go! I’ve never made a snowman before, did you know that? This will be my first one!”

“I haven’t either.”

“Ah, look at us. Two peas in a pod,” you said, grinning. “To tell you the truth, I don’t know how to ride a bike, either. Ganyu tried to teach me once, but I ended up crashing on the side of the road, and…” Your voice trailed off as you turned to look at Xiao.

Xiao was smiling. He was smiling at you. You jumped to your feet, and despite the cold, your cheeks were warm. 

“Sorry. I didn’t realize I was talking so much,” you said. 

“I like listening to you talk.”

You exhaled, looking at the sky above you. Some of those stars were already dead, you thought. Only their light reached you now, a ghost traveling lightyears across the universe.  “I don’t normally like to talk so much about myself. But… I guess… you’re easy to talk to. I’m glad I moved in with you. I’m glad you’re my roommate and my friend.”

“To me, you–” A sudden ring cut through Xiao’s words. You fumbled for your phone in your pocket, internally cursing at the interruption. 

“Sorry, let me take this real quick,” you said apologetically. Xiao nodded, and you pressed answer without looking at the screen. 

“So you finally picked up our calls?” A voice, colder than the night around you, echoed in your ear.

It was your dad. Oh, god. You were so stupid. You should have checked to see who was calling. You should have been more careful. You should have blocked him, but you—

“Not going to respond? Your mom and I are tired of your games. Don’t think we’re going to let you do whatever you like–”

You hung up, dropping your phone in your haste. “Sorry!” you said, bending down to pick it up. Your hands were shaking too much for you to grip it properly. “I’m sorry. That… That, um, I…” Xiao picked up your phone. You stood slowly, avoiding his gaze as you took it from him, slipping it back into your pocket. “Thanks.”

“It’s fine. You don’t need to apologize. Let’s go back inside.” Xiao put an arm around your shoulders, before withdrawing it just as quickly. 

“Hey,” you said, reaching for his arm to slip it back around you. “I didn’t say you had to stop.”

Xiao didn’t look at you as the two of you stumbled back up the stairs, but he held you reassuringly tight. At the entrance of your apartment, he paused. “I’ll make us tea.”

You leaned against him, squeezing your arms around him for a quick hug. “Thanks, Xiao.”

“I’ll always be here for you. Just call my name.”

You chuckled softly. When he said it like that, it made you want to stay in his arms forever.

—

“We’re skipping class.”

You looked up from your textbook, your pencil hovering over an unfinished sentence in your notes. Scaramouche and Childe stood in front of you. From the way Scaramouche talked, it seemed less like a statement and more like a command. 

“Have fun,” you said. 

“You’re coming with us.”

You waved your pencil in the air. “Me? No thanks. I have to study. Some of us can’t afford to slack off.” 

“Take a break!” Childe urged, slinging his arm around your shoulder. “The books will still be here when you get back.”

“I can’t.” 

“Not even if I pay for food?” Childe said slyly. 

On most days, that offer would have worked. But you simply shook your head. “Can’t. My roommate is making dinner.”

“Roommate?” Scaramouche tilted his head. “I thought you lived at home.”

“Well— things have changed,” you said curtly. Damn it. Scaramouche was the last person you wanted to know about your personal life. 

“Maybe your parents kicked you out,” Scaramouche mused. “Or did you run away from home?” 

You slammed your hands down on the table, but he only crossed his arms, daring you to try something. Childe’s eyes sparkled with interest, but made no move to interfere. You were on your own. 

“It doesn’t really matter why,” you said through gritted teeth. “Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.” 

“Sorry? I bet you wouldn’t have told us at all,” Scaramouche said, scoffing. “Whatever. If you ever feel like doing something fun, ask Childe for the details.” 

Scaramouche stalked off, and Childe only gave you a smile before following. You sank down into your seat, but your eyes couldn’t focus on your textbook. You reread the same paragraph three times before you finally flipped it shut. You couldn’t focus, so you might as well go home. Xiao was still at work, but he would be home soon, and you could crowd the kitchen together, shoulders bumping as you cooked, before sinking onto the couch to laugh and eat. 

The walk home was a blur as you sped along the sidewalks. At the bottom floor of your apartment, your phone rang. It was an unknown number. You answered, putting your phone between your shoulder and ear as you searched for your keys in your bag.

“Hello?” you asked.

“So you’ll only pick up the number of a stranger, but not your own dad? I’m disappointed.”

Your keys fell out of your hands. You leaned against the wall, trying to steady your breathing. “What do you want?”

“That’s no way to talk to your own father. I wanted to check in on you, but I see you haven’t changed at all.”

“Well, Dad. It’s nice to talk to you, but I really should be going—”

“It’s time for you to come home. When are you going to stop these childish games?”

“It’s not childish.” Your voice cracked, and you hated yourself for not keeping your composure. 

“It is. What was it you said? That you would show us that you could make it on your own? I thought you would be too old for temper tantrums, but it appears I was wrong. Just come back. You’re never going to end up anywhere at this rate. What are you even studying in college?”

“I’m still… undecided,” you said, the words sticking in your throat.

“Undecided? Even though you’re in your third year?” Your dad sighed, loudly. “Enough. I see you still can’t listen to reason. Fine. You’ll come back on your own, soon enough. But don’t expect me to open the door until you learn some humility, do you hear me?”

Silence. He wanted something from you; an outburst, probably. For you to beg to go home. But… the place you called home… you had already found it.

“That’s fine, then,” you whispered, mouth dry. “Because I’m never going to come back. Don’t contact me again.”

You ended the call before your dad could respond, falling to the ground, trying to control your trembling. This time, you made sure to block your parents’ numbers and the number your dad just called you from. You wouldn’t answer any strange numbers for a while; had he called you from a phone booth? Borrowed a friend’s phone? Either way, it didn’t matter. 

It was laughable how weak you were. A few cold words and you were on the verge of tears. No wonder you were a disappointment to them. An average child, with mediocre grades, with few friends. You had no particular talents, no real hobbies, and the best you could do was run away from home.

But you hadn’t blocked their numbers or erased them as your emergency contacts at your college. Because the fact you were their child meant something, didn’t it? If you got into trouble, surely they would come running.

Even if you weren’t what they wanted. Even if they were never home. Even if you learned to smile and keep your head down, just like they told you to.

If you proved you were independent– if you proved you could do something, at least one thing right– maybe they would acknowledge you.

Your dad was right. You were a child. You didn’t feel like an adult at all. For the longest time, you thought that if you made it to eighteen, you would finally feel like a grown-up. There would be some switch, and you would finally get it together. Adulthood was your only goal, but it was just a number. When you turned eighteen, it wasn’t all that different from being seventeen, or thirteen, or eight. 

What did it mean to be an adult? You learned how to lie like one, but it still wasn’t enough. When would you know? When would you be worth something? Maybe you’d have to carry that child around inside you forever.

Hands trembling, you dialed Ganyu’s number only to get her voicemail. You tried again, but paused, remembering that it was still early in the afternoon. She was at work. She made it into a prestigious company, and look at you. You couldn’t even choose your own major. No, it’d be better to just leave a voicemail telling her what had happened today.

Your finger hovered over Xiao’s number, but you couldn’t bring him into your problems. That left only one person to call.

“Childe. Where did you say you and Scaramouche were going?”

—

Music pounded in your ears, loud and heavy, neon lights flickering across the ceiling. A throng of people you only vaguely recognized crowded Scaramouche’s penthouse, but it was too late to regret your decision. As soon as you showed up, you had been pushed inside, handed a cup of alcohol, and thrown around the sea of bodies, back and forth, back and forth. 

Someone waved at you through the crowd. You waved back weakly, grip tight on the drink you didn’t want. They pushed their way through. “There you are! I thought you changed your mind and wouldn’t show,” Childe said cheerily.

“Well, surprise. I thought Scaramouche hated parties.”

“Oh, he does. But he got into another argument with his mom this morning, so he’s trying to trash his apartment in revenge.”

“That’s stupid,” you said sourly. “And immature.”

Childe leaned closer to you. “So, why did you change your mind? Hate your roommate’s food?”

“No. Xiao is a decent cook.”

“Xiao… Your roommate is Xiao?” Childe said slowly.

“Do you know him?”

“Sort of. But… no way… hold on, I have to call Scaramouche over. He’ll love this.” Before you could stop him, Childe barreled through the crowd, returning a few minutes with Scaramouche.

“What’s the big deal?” Scaramouche snarled.  

“Tell him who your roommate is,” Childe said, turning to you.

Unease pooled in your stomach. “His name… his name is Xiao.”

“Shit. Are you serious?” Scaramouche’s foul expression dropped, replaced by something you didn’t want to name. “No wonder you didn’t want to tell us you moved out.”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t know?” Childe whistled. “It’s a long story, but years ago, I transferred to a different high school in the middle of the year, right? The one Xiao went to. And the dude was infamous there. Apparently he was so wild even the security guards were scared of him. He kept getting into fights, and winning all of them. Of course, I tried to see if he would have a go with me, but he kept avoiding me.”

“Fights?” Your heart was racing. That seemed nothing like the Xiao you knew. “But why?”

Childe shrugged. “Who knows? But the point is he was so notorious the nearby stores refused to let him in. I heard the cops were called at several points, and…” Childe lowered his voice. “Someone died. He was bad news. I doubt he’s changed.”

Stop, you wanted to tell him. Stop. You didn’t want to hear anymore. You couldn’t. It felt like you were betraying Xiao. But why hadn’t anyone told you? Ganyu, Zhongli, Hu Tao… they just kept quiet. 

Scaramouche slapped you on the back, hard. Your drink sloshed. “Wow. Poor you. Rooming with a monster all this time, and you didn’t even know! Want to move out?” His voice was loud, louder than it had to be.

Scaramouche gripped your shoulders painfully. He was looking somewhere to the side, so you followed his gaze slowly… and your eyes met Xiao’s.

Xiao turned and disappeared into the crowds. Your stomach dropped. How much had he heard? Why was he here? What face were you making? No. No, that wasn’t important. What was important was how hurt he looked and that you had been the one to place it there.

You shoved Scaramouche, your head swimming. “What the fuck?” you hissed. “Why did you say that?”

“I was just helping you out,” he said sympathetically.

“No, you weren’t. You prick. You knew he was listening! Why are you like this?”

Scaramouche’s face hardened, and he stepped so close that you almost tripped trying to back away. “Me? Me? You have a lot of nerve. Ask yourself the same question. You don’t even like me. Admit it. You think I can’t tell how fake you are? You always act like you’re soooo nice and polite, but the truth is, you don’t care about other people. That’s right,” he sneered, shoving his face closer to you. “You just don’t want to get involved. So drop the act.”

The music hurt your head. The lights were too bright. But you couldn’t give him the satisfaction of making you cry. 

You threw your drink at Scaramouche’s face. Childe laughed. Scaramouche yelled, looking at you like he wanted to kill you, but you were already pushing through the crowd, running towards the door.

There was only one person on your mind.

— 

You ran down the sidewalks without a care, scanning wildly to see where Xiao could have gone. Oh, god.  He saw you. He heard you. How much? Why was he even there?

It was raining. When did it start raining? Water dripped down your face, but you couldn’t tell it apart from your tears as your feet pounded down the road in wild abandon. Xiao. Where did he go?

Wait. You had his number. You pulled out your phone, holding your breath as you called him. No response. Who else could you contact? 

You tripped, a bright burst of pain flaring through your knee as you landed on it, hard. Panting, you crouched to assess the damage. Your pants had ripped, and blood ran down your leg, but none of it hurt more than losing Xiao.

First, your dad called. Then, you went to Scaramouche’s stupid party. And now, Xiao was gone, maybe forever, because you hurt him. 

Wiping at your face was useless, but you did so anyway, despite your soggy sleeve.

Wait. There was someone who might know where he is. 

You dialed Ganyu’s number, and this time, she picked up. “Hello!”

“Xiao…” You burst out crying again, tears trickling into your mouth. “Xiao, he…”

“Xiao? Did something happen to him?” Ganyu sounded frantic.

“No! No… Not like that… I… Ganyu, I messed up. I think I hurt him, and I don’t know where he is, and I…”

“Deep breaths! Take deep breaths. It’ll be okay,” Ganyu said soothingly. “Tell me what happened.” You related the story as best as you could through your sobs. When you stopped, Ganyu murmured in sympathy. “Oh, no. I’m so sorry. I… I was the one who told him where you would be.”

“Huh?”

“You left me that voicemail, right? When Xiao came home, he was worried about you, so he called me. And I told him you left me a message and you might have gone to your friend’s house, and…” She sighed. “No, this isn’t the time for this. Listen. I think… I think he might be at the professor’s house. So…”

“Thanks, Ganyu. I’ll head over right now.”

“Wait! Wait, wait. Don’t blame yourself, okay? Can you promise me that?”

“I’ll try,” you said. “But I have to go.”

“Okay. Okay, I understand. Call me when you find him.”

Ignoring the pain in your leg, you started down the road to Zhongli’s house. It was a thirty minute walk, but you couldn’t afford to wait another second. 

Xiao. You couldn’t lose him. Because… because to you, he was…

You pounded on the door of Zhongli’s house as soon as you got there. Hu Tao opened with a cheerful “Hello, welcome to Hu Tao’s–” only to stop when she saw you.

“Is Xiao here?” you asked, trying to smile. 

You looked like shit, but she nodded firmly, all humor gone from her face. “Yeah. Are you okay?”

“Never better.”

“Come in, come in. You look cold.”

You did as she said, remembering to take off your shoes as you entered. You hovered near the door, afraid to step farther into the house. There was already a puddle forming around your feet. Hu Tao disappeared around the corner, and just before you wondered if it would be better to leave, she came back with some towels, Xiao following closely on her heels.

“Xiao,” you gasped out, but before you could say anything else he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a hug.

“What happened? Did someone hurt you?”

You buried your head into his shoulder, gripping the fabric of his shirt like a lifeline. 

“I’ll just leave these… here…” Hu Tao murmured, setting the towels on the floor, backing away. 

You wanted to thank her, but neither you nor Xiao could let go of each other. “I’m fine. I… I was just looking for you. I don’t know what you heard at the party, but–”

“You’re wet,” Xiao said abruptly, pulling back. He picked up one of the towels Hu Tao left, wrapping it around your shoulders. “Clean up first before you get sick. Then we can talk.” He grabbed your hand gently, guiding you down the hallway. You stopped in front of the bathroom, where Xiao hesitated. “You should shower. I’ll get you clean clothes. And I can wash the one you’re wearing.”

“Wait.” You clung to Xiao’s hand, refusing to let him leave. “I’m sorry. I need you to know that first. I-I’ve never thought of you as a horrible person.”

He squeezed your hand. “Even if you did, I wouldn’t blame you.”

“But I don’t.”

“Then it’s fine,” he said simply. “Clean off, first.”

In the bathroom, you turned on the water as hot as it would go, until the mirror above the sink clouded over and your wounds stung. You washed yourself as best as you could, with someone’s unfamiliar lavender scented shampoo. When you turned the water off, you discovered that someone had left behind towels, slippers and a pair of worn pajamas on the sink. Your old clothes were gone; probably thrown into the wash, as Xiao had said. You dried yourself, pulled on the new clothes, and padded out into the hallway. Xiao was leaning against the wall, arms crossed.

“Follow me.” He led you down the hall, around the corner, and up a creaky stairway. The door farthest from the stairs was ajar, and as you walked in, you realized it was Xiao’s old bedroom. There was only a bed, a desk, and a drawer; if not for his backpack and the computer on the desk, you would have doubted that someone lived there.

Xiao pointed at the bed, and you sat, sinking into the comforter. Once you did, Xiao went to one of the drawers and pulled out a first aid kit, kneeling in front of you to dab at your cuts with antiseptic.

“Thanks,” you said.

“Right.”

“So…” You tried not to fidget as Xiao carefully placed a bandage over your wound. “What happened?”

“You didn’t come home in time today.” When he was done, he sat next to you. He was short enough that his feet didn’t touch the ground. “You weren’t responding to my calls, so I asked Ganyu, and she told me you might be with your other friends. I asked around to see where they might have gone, and someone told me about the party, so I went.”

He had called you? “I didn’t see. Shit.”

“It doesn’t matter. I…” Silence. Xiao contemplated his next words as you chewed your lip. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” you asked in astonishment.

“For not telling you the truth. I didn’t want you to think of me like that, so I told Ganyu to hide it from you. But that was unfair of me.”

You shook your head. “No. I was a stranger, and it wasn’t my place to know. You should have been able to tell me about it on your own time, when you were ready.”

“Even if everything your friend said was true?” he said quietly. “I am dangerous, and you have the right to know. I got into fights a lot. Not because I wanted to, but to protect myself. It started when I fought off someone who was hurting my friend, but then he came back the next day with more people. And then, rumors spread. People started to seek me out, and I kept hitting back.”

“But it wasn’t your fault. You were just trying to protect yourself.”

He smiled bitterly. “Yes, but then my friends got involved. A few of them started to back me up in fights, and then one of them… died because of it. So I decided I had to leave. It was too dangerous, and I didn’t want to lose any of my other friends, or to get my family hurt.”

“Xiao…” There was nothing you could say to soothe the pain in his voice. So that was why he had been living on his own, and why there were only pictures of him when he was young at Zhongli’s house.

“My dad was Zhongli’s younger brother. He took me in when no one else would, but all I did was make him worry. I couldn’t repay him for what he did for me.”

“I don’t think Zhongli wants repayment,” you said quietly. “I think he just wants you to be happy.”

“For me to be happy…?” Xiao repeated. 

“Hey. If we’re apologizing, I need to do so again,” you said.

“Don’t. You didn’t do anything wrong–”

“I did,” you interrupted. “I shouldn’t have let my friends talk about you like that. But I shouldn’t have been friends with them in the first place. And… I’m not that great of a person, either. I… I also ran away from home. I just wanted to prove I could, I guess. That I could survive on my own, make something of myself. But I haven’t. My parents were… are… disappointed in me. I just wasn’t what they wanted.”

“You’re not your parents’ trophy,” Xiao said slowly. “You don’t have anything to prove to them.”

“But–”

“You’re a good person, even if they can’t see that.”

“How can you know that?” you asked.

“Because you helped me.”

“Huh?”

“In high school,” he clarified. “I guess you don’t remember after all.”

“What did I do?” You searched through your memories, but came up blank. If you had met someone like Xiao, you would never have forgotten it. 

“You gave me an umbrella,” he said. “When it was raining. You saw me without one, and ran up to me. You told me you liked the rain, so you were okay without one. I wanted to find you again, but Ganyu recognized the umbrella you gave me. Ever since then, I wanted to talk to you. But I had too many  enemies, and it was too risky, so I couldn’t approach you.”

Something clicked in your head as Xiao talked. The night you went to Zhongli’s house for hot pot… his cryptic words, and Ganyu’s strange behavior… You clapped your hands together. “No way! Xiao, did you buy my favorite snacks and ask Zhongli to give them to me?”

He flushed. “Who told you?”

You grinned at his reaction. “No one! I just figured it out. Did Ganyu tell you what sort of snacks I like?”

“... I used to ask her about you. And that was the only way I could think of to show my gratitude. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize! It’s cute. I owe you, my snack knight,” you teased. 

“... Snack knight?”

“The snack knight is the protector of savory treats across the realm.”

Xiao started fidgeting with his fingers. “So, now that you know…”

“Yes?”

“If you want to move out, I understand.”

“Huh? No way! I want to stay with you forever,” you said earnestly. 

At your words, Xiao’s face reddened. You could also feel your cheeks heating up as you realized what you just said. 

“Anyways!” you said hastily. “There’s a lot I need to do…oh, shit. I threw alcohol at Scaramouche’s face. I just remembered…”

“What?”

“He said horrible things about you. It’s the least he deserves.”

Xiao leaned forward, resting his forehead against yours. “If you talk to him, let me come with you. I’ll keep you safe.”

You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck so you could pull him down onto the bed with you. “Okay. Sure. But I don’t want to deal with that right now. So…”

“So?”

“Let’s nap a bit. I’m tired.”

“I’ll get you some blankets–”

“Whoa! No moving.” Your arms moved down to his waist so you could pull him closer. You didn’t miss how Xiao stiffened at the movement, or how he tried to hide his face. “Stay with me.”

“...If that’s what you want.”

“Oh, I want it. You know, other than Ganyu, I don’t think I’ve ever told someone so much about myself. You’re special to me, Xiao.”

“You’re special to me, too,” he said quietly.

You closed your eyes, curling against Xiao’s comforting warmth. There was still so much you had to do. You still needed to sort things out with your family and your friends… ex-family and ex-friends, you supposed. And there was college, and your job, and the horribly unpredictable future. But all you wanted to do was hold Xiao close as raindrops drummed on the roof. 

There would be a time for all of that later. Right here, right now, you were with Xiao, and that was all you needed.

[ospreyeamon]

RotS deleted scenes: trust and paranoia

Rewatching Padmé and the Delegation of Two Thousand’s deleted scenes from Revenge of the Sith has illuminated a couple of parallels between Padmé and Anakin’s relationships with Palpatine, and the Jedi Order and Republic Senate’s mutual mistrust.

“I can’t believe it has come to this. Chancellor Palpatine is one of my oldest advisors. He served as my ambassador when I was queen.” Padmé Amidala “Senator, I fear you underestimate the amount of corruption that has taken hold in the Senate.” Giddean Dani

Padmé is far more friendly towards Palpatine than I had remembered her as being. Even this late in the game, she really doesn’t want to believe the worst of him. She doesn’t want to believe Palpatine will need to be forced to do the right thing – that he is a bad actor, rather than a well-intended person making mistakes.

Padmé was probably introduced to Palpatine during her time in the Youth Legislature – before she was elected Princess of Theed at nine – so she first met Palpatine at a similarly young age to Anakin. They have both known Palpatine more than half their lives. He was one of the few people Padmé and Anakin already knew on Coruscant when they moved there. Padmé left her family behind on Naboo when she became Senator and, as he had served in her position for many years before her, Palpatine would have been a natural person for her to look to for guidance. To become, if not a political father-figure, then at least a surrogate uncle.

So, the way Padmé relates to Palpatine probably has similarities to the way Anakin relates to him. A reliable fixture of their lives. Not someone they meet every day or every week – more like every month or three – but someone who will reach out if they haven’t met up in a while to invite them out with him. Someone who always stops to greet them and have a little chat if they run into each other unexpectedly. Someone who openly expresses how fond of them he is; someone who doesn’t hide that he worries about their wellbeing. It’s Palpatine who successfully persuades Padmé to go into hiding after the assassination attempts against her in Attack of the Clones by making a personal appeal rooted in his affection for her.

Both Padmé and Anakin’s initial reaction to discovering Palpatine’s duplicity is to turn on him. The first thing Anakin does after Palpatine reveals himself as the Sith Master – reveals himself as having deliberately orchestrated the Clone Wars – is run to the Jedi Council and tell Mace Windu. After Order 66, when Palpatine makes his proclamation of empire, Padmé realises that anyone in the Senate to vote against it will be the next to be purged saving future rebel leaders like Bail Organa and Mon Mothma.

Padmé and Anakin’s revelation that turns them against Palpatine is that the person they believed was their friend was a mask who never really existed at all. That it was all a lie, that they were played right from the beginning. It’s only after Padmé is dead and Anakin has lost everything that his loyalty reattaches itself to Palpatine, now Anakin’s sole close relationship.

“I know a Jedi that I feel we should consult.” Padmé Amidala “That would be dangerous.” Bana Breemu “We don’t know how the Jedi fit in to all this.” Mon Mothma “I only wish to discuss this with one – one I trust.” Padmé Amidala “Going against the Chancellor without the support of the Jedi is risky.” Giddean Dani “The Jedi are not any happier with this situation than we are.” Padmé Amidala “Patience, Senator.” Chi Eekway Papanoida “We have so many Senators on our side, surely that will persuade the Chancellor.” Fang Zar “When we present the Petition of the Two Thousand to the Chancellor, things may change.” Bana Breemu “Well then, let us see what we can accomplish in the Senate before we include the Jedi.” Bail Organa

This snippet of conversation between the leaders of the Delegation of Two Thousand mirrors the scene with the Jedi Council discussing what to do about Palpatine. Giddean Dani’s line about the danger of going against Palpatine without the support of the Jedi is one I find particularly telling, especially coming after Bana Breemu’s and Mon Mothma’s. There are two reasons why it would be risky to make a play against Palpatine without gouging the support of the Jedi Order. One is the risk that the Delegation might not have sufficient clout to successfully pressure Palpatine without the Order’s additional support. The other is the risk that the Order might side with Palpatine.

While Palpatine’s relationship with the Jedi Council chills considerably between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith, in Attack of the Clones it is very cosy. Palpatine regularly inviting the Jedi Council into his offices to confer with them and ask for their advice; Palpatine giving the command of the Grand Army of the Republic to the Jedi Order; Palpatine publicly defending the Jedi against rumours circulating about them (in a way that adds fuel to those rumours). One reason Palpatine does these things is to persuade the Jedi Council that he trusts them; believing that somebody trusts you makes you more likely to think they are trustworthy in turn. Another reason is to cement the image of the Jedi Order as a bastion of his support.

It works. The Delegation of Two Thousand keeps their plans secret from the Jedi because they aren’t sure that the Jedi aren’t Palpatine’s trusting followers, who will report their intentions to him rather than support the Delegation’s attempt to shame him out of power. The Jedi Council mistrusts the Senate which they perceive as being under Palpatine’s thumb and make no effort to test those waters for potential allies against him. Notable Senators in the Delegation are members of the Chancellor's Loyalist Committee – he has played the same trick with them. Palpatine keeps his enemies divided and divided they fail.

Even Anakin and Padmé being married to each other isn’t enough to break the barrier of mistrust, and they aren’t the only Jedi-Senator pair keeping secrets. Obi-Wan Kenobi and Bail Organa may be friends, but we never see them even consider reaching out to each other. Maybe Bail suggested it offscreen and was, like Padmé, talked down. Maybe Bail was genuinely unsure where Obi-Wan’s political loyalties lay; his old Padawan and best-friend sees no problems with Palpatine becoming Supreme Chancellor For Life. Maybe Obi-Wan departed for Utapau before Bail considered approaching him.

The smog of paranoia weighing over Coruscant is so thick it effects relationships between characters of the same faction. “If what you've told me is true, you will have gained my trust” is an odd line because it is said by Mace right as he is embarking on a course of action that demonstrates considerable faith in Anakin. You don’t burst into your head of state’s office to arrest him on the word of one guy if you don’t trust that one guy’s word. But I don’t think Mace implying that he doesn’t trust Anakin while making a choice which shows that he does trust Anakin is a writing mistake; I think it is a symptom of the suspicious mindset that has suffused through the cast.

[cait-writes]

Breathe

I could feel it the moment you saw her. I could see the change in expression, your eyes trailing her movement as she walked by. The second she turned and winked at you, I knew you would be a goner.

It hurt when you told me that you’d be right back, that you were going to use the the restroom - or whatever excuse, I honestly don’t remember. I knew it was a lie when I saw you shove that napkin in your pocket, obviously a phone number was written down.

I see your face in my mind as I drive away, ‘cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way People are people, and sometimes we change our minds. But it’s killing me to see you go after all this time.

Our relationship started to change when we went from hanging out a few times a week, although on the phone every day, to only getting to see you once a week and maybe talk on the phone twice a week. Our vibe was different. As time went on, we started to talk less, laugh less. Everything went through one ear and out the other and your eyes were glued to your phone.

I vowed that last night when you promised to meet me for ice cream and you didn’t show, that I would stop pining for a man that would never be mine. I knew I should’ve said something when I had the chance but I couldn’t. I was scared. We haven’t seen each other since. No text messages.

It’s two am, feelin’ like I just lost a friend. Hope you know this Ain’t easy, easy for me.

When Colby messaged me today to invite me over for a small get together at the new house, I originally told him no. I was sick, I had so much to do, every excuse I could think of. Colby and I were close, but not as close as Sam and I. But he knew how things were going and promised that he would be by my side the whole night, said he missed me too. It took a lot of convincing, but I did eventually give in to him. Little fucker.

Have you ever been around people were once close, but now felt unwelcome? It was awkward and I immediately wanted to leave. Colby stood by the door and slipped his hand around my arm and guided us to the kitchen.

“He’s hanging out near the game room which is down that hallway. I think he’ll be occupied for a while. Let’s get some alcohol in our system and have fun, alright?” He asked, looking up at me through his lashes, a smile playing on his lips. I rolled my eyes before accepting the drink he held. The clear liquid burned as it went down, but it was better than what I was feeling in my mind. After a few more shots, Colby was whisked away by a few of our friends and I was left standing there at the kitchen island. A roar of laughter broke my thoughts and my eyes immediately landed on the cause. Sam with his arm draped around his girlfriend’s shoulders and a few others were making their way towards the kitchen.

Panic began to set in, it was hard to breathe, as I quickly looked for an exit, but his voice said my name and I ran for it. A group of people were blocking the patio door as I shoved through, receiving a few dirty looks. I didn’t care. I needed away. I couldn’t handle seeing him. Not yet.

I followed the concrete path to the pool where very few people lurked. I sat down on the and dipped my feet in.

Sam and I met this way. We were both invited to a party of a mutual friend and the house was small and cramped, shoulder to shoulder. He was there first with a drink in his hand, shoes and jeans unrolled in the pool. I called him a goof and he complained his feet weighed a ton. His cheeks were crimson as I pulled his legs up and he fell onto his back laughing. He said I had a pretty laugh. The next morning I got a text message from him. Our friend gave him my number.

A pair of legs appeared in my peripheral and the sound of shoes clunking onto the concrete broke me from my thoughts. His scent invade my senses and my eyes burned with the threat of tears. His arm slowly snaked around my shoulders as he pulled me to his shoulder. His breath was shakey, “I miss you too, ya know.” He whispered softly.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

I used to dreamily sigh and imagine potential romantic relationships, usually not with a specific person even but just the idea of being loved and loving and having someone like that, and sometimes it’d be sad because I wanted it but wasn’t in a position where that was gonna happen soon but mostly it just gave me that nice fluttery feeling. Imagining the possibilities, taking comfort in the thought of cuddling up with someone after a long day and just existing.

These days, I don’t have those daydreams much. I’m not particularly interested in having a romantic relationship anymore, just a supportive community and friends and maybe a QPR (although that seems… really unlikely to happen just because that’s kind of how society is). But those days I do want a romantic relationship are the hardest now. It maybe gives me a flutter for a moment, but the daydream turns sour so fast. Instead of feeling comforted by the idea, I’m too aware of how unlikely such a thing is to happen for me- I’ve tried online dating but it just feels wrong to me, I can’t imagine being with somebody I don’t already have a connection with in some way, but I’ve never had a mutual crush and I’m at that point in my life where it’s really hard just to make new friends, let alone partners. It just feels doubly isolating these days instead of even bittersweet :(

I'm sorry you're having a hard time, Anon. It definitely can be hard, especially when we're told our whole lives this is what we should want/is definitely what will make us happy or that it will fix all our problems. And it can be even worse when we're dealing with loneliness on top of it.

Making new friends is not always easy, and making really good friends takes both work and luck to find the right people. One thing to remember though is that making new friends is a skill, which means it's something you can work at and improve at. Usually the biggest thing though is being willing to put yourself out there and take risks, which gets easier to more you do it. Don't be afraid to introduce yourself to people, or to invite people out for a cup of coffee. And don't let the occasional disinterested person put you off.

It can also help a lot to just put yourself in situations where you're around people and interacting with them. For example if you have any hobbies or interests, do any of those translate to being able to get out and meet people? For example if you like knitting, a lot of cities have knitting groups that get together and knit and chat.

You can also take up a new hobby or learn something new, or take an evening course that interests you. Online groups can be good too, or friendship apps (similar to dating apps, but friendship only). Or anything else you can think of that gets you out around people regularly is good.

If you have friendships that are more casual it may also be worth thinking if there's any you'd like to try and strengthen, or anyone you'd like to make an effort to see more or spend more time with, too.

Just the act of getting out more and being around people will help a lot with feelings of loneliness, and while it takes time to build really close friendships, your dream of a supportive community and friends, and even possibly a QPR, is definitely attainable. That's a great goal to have, and you should definitely keep trying for it.

All the best, Anon! Good luck!

[kimhargreeves]

Concert Confessions-Ian Bruce x Reader (The Correspondents)

Summary: You've been long time friends with the boys from The Correspondents, the mutual pining between you and Bruce is making your friend Tim desperate for you both to just date. You decide to do the impossible before their concert at night.

(This is based on the English band The Correspondents. I was about to write a fic soon, but saw someone asking for someone to write so I volunteered! So this one shot is for the person who accepted in me writing it. @atomicbug Hope you enjoyed it!!)

It's been many years since I've known Bruce and Chucks known as Tim also but his closest friends call him that. I've been with them from the very beginning, meeting both of them when we were still studying. I used to see them always hanging around with each other until eventually I met Bruce in art class, i was enamored with his work from the very start.

We started with small conversations until it started with hanging out at classes and spending almost everyday together. I still remember the same day easily getting along with Chucks like we had been friends for years.

It took a while until they finally started a band together and started touring and meeting fans with their unique music and still continuing to be themselves. I absolutely loved their music style and how artistic they are

I started working alongside with them as well, thinking and worrying that I wouldn't be able to see them often, well sometimes I would work with them whenever I was free since I started working alongside with a company in making music as well.

Today is one of those days where I would be hanging out with them and finally being able to see Bruce. Often they would insist on me working with them on a song, or sing on stage but I was afraid of what their fans might say if they were to see a female with them, clearly having feelings for the bands singer.

"(Y/N)!" I heard voices calling out to me. I turned around as I stood in line at a cafe, many people weren't around anyways so I turned around and shrieked when I saw my best friends.

"Guys!! You're finally here!" I exclaim running over to them and hugging them tightly, they hugged me back until we parted and we smiled.

Chucks almost hasn't changed a bit, and Bruce continues to look the same as ever with his glasses and neatly styled hair. Both of them were wearing jackets because of the cold weather.

"We're happy to know you accepted the invite." Bruce said looking down at me since I was shorter than him since he's tall.

"You know we'll I'd never say no to you." I smile as I blush looking up at him.

I hear a hum and I glanced and saw Chucks smiling at us both but said nothing. I knew well what that smile meant.

"It's nice to know that, you've always been our number one fan after all." He said as he reached down and patted my head.

The three of us stood in line ordering whatever we wanted to eat, I blushed when Bruce would get close to me. I could feel my heart beating faster whenever I am next to him, these feelings for him hasn't faded a bit at all.

"Why don't you both head back and grab a table? I'll be there with our food." Chucks said to us both, before I could follow Bruce I felt Chucks grab my arm.

"The tension is killing me here, (Y/N). Please just confess your feelings to the lad, you've both been pining each other for years now. I'm getting old here, woman. I want to be an uncle soon!"

He joked but that only made me only more embarrassed. "Shhh I'm getting to it!" I said making sure no one listened what we had said.

I composed myself and quickly followed Bruce until we sat down on a table with him sitting in front of me. "It's really nice to be able to see you again." was the first thing he said when we sat down.

My face must've looked like a tomato due to how hot I felt. "It's n-nice to see you again! I really missed having you around."

"I also noticed that you dyed and cut your hair." He said reaching up and touching my hair. "It suits you. I think you look even more pretty than before."

How am I supposed to answer to that? I felt like passing out. I smiled at him still blushing as I tried my best to hide my face, "You're way too kind, Mr. Bruce." I say making him chuckle as he adjusted his glasses.

"Tell me, (Y/N). How's life been treating you lately? Any news going on?" He excitedly asked getting himself comfortable in his seat.

I chuckled and shook my head. "Nothing much has changed, same work, same schedules, my parents visited me last week and I took them around my working place, I will say things have been a bit weird."

"Hmm? How come?"

"There's been a guy around who hasn't stopped asking me for lunch at work..hmm? Everything alright, Ian?"

"Everything's fine!" He exclaimed and made an odd look. I shook my head and took my his hands in mine.

"There's nothing to worry about, I declined his offer since I've been too busy, besides he isn't my type."

Bruce sighed loudly and seemed relieved at my answer. "It might sound selfish but I'm glad you declined. Who would be there to protect you if something were to happen to you."

I looked at him and noticed he was blushing as well, still not letting go of my hands for a second. "Thing's haven't been easy on tour lately, there's something that's been stuck on my mind ever since you left a year ago."

It had been a long while since I had seen the boys. I wonder what he's been hiding from me. I will say seeing him again makes me want to have him all to myself and not leave.

"I'm back!" We quickly let go of each other and looked at Chucks surprised. "Here's everything we ordered, dig up fellas."

We nodded and began to each at the many desserts we ordered and noticed Bruce has ordered my favorite dessert, he still remembers that I used to order it almost everyday before heading to classes.

"You know tour has been very fun, but there's just one girl who hasn't stopped trying to call this guy." Chucks said almost too loud for the building to listen.

I've known him for being dramatic so I don't know wether to believe in him, but I decided to play along. "Oh really?"

"Has that woman tried calling me? I haven't noticed." Bruce said drinking his coffee. "Besides no woman can be as equally charming as I am."

"Hmm that's true. You are too flamboyant." I said making Bruce almost choke on his coffee. Chucks and I laughed. "I'm just joking..I actually really love how weird, quirky and how artsy you are. You're just my type." I smiled.

Chucks took a sip of his tea and looked at us, "Just date already you lovebirds."

The lights to the stage were dimly lit with the crowd of people calling out the bands name. People all around us were making the final adjustments for the show tonight. Everyone was too busy to stop for a second to speak, wires were being brought up on the stage, microphone stand was adjusted along with keyboard's were being placed in it's correct spot.

I stood aside so people wouldn't run into me or each other, leaving them to do their job. The stage was nearly done.

"(Y/N)." I looked to the side and noticed Bruce now dressed at his finest, in a black suit with matching tie. He looked very handsome. I look to the side to shy to look at him, seeing him dressed like this always stirred something in me.

"You're almost ready for the night?" I asked leaning against the wall and Bruce did the same, crossing his arms and looking at me.

"Almost ready. There's just one thing missing. Come on." I was taken back when he reached down and grabbed my hand pulling me close to him as I followed him.

We made it to the other side of the stage without being seen and stood behind a black curtain, we were all alone. Bruce stood behind me and leaned down to rest his head on my shoulder. I could feel my heart beating faster, could he hear it as well?

"See those people out there." He pouted without moving from me. "They're all here because of you. If it weren't for your support we never would've made it. This is all for you, (Y/N)."

Bruce now began to hug me from behind and I reached up and held him. "I haven't been myself for a year, you're the only person I've been thinking of whenever I have to travel."

I looked up at him and now stood in front of him when he stopped hugging me. He reached his hand and held my face, "I love you, (Y/N). I always get upset when I have to see you leave, won't you stay here and make me the happiest man alive?"

I began to shake and tears began to fall down my face, making Bruce panic when he saw me crying. "Did I say something to upset you?!" You asked concerned.

Quickly I shook my head not wanting him to get upset thinking he had said something we shouldn't have said. "It's nothing like that!" I assured wiping my tears and looking back up at him through his glasses.

"It's just… I've always secretly liked you from the start and I didn't want to get your career involved is all."

"You should never feel like that. All the time you were away, I kept on drawing and making paintings of you, as cheesy as it sounds it made me cope with you bro being around."

That's too sweet. "Ian Bruce… I've always loved you too. I'll make sure to not leave you then." I blushed and took a step closer and I wrapped my arms around him and leaned up and pressed my lips against his.

I felt him hugging me back and deepening the kiss, I had my hand tightly held onto his suit and felt his hand behind my head. Slowly we parted and before we could exchange words someone ran into us and hugged us.

"About time you both confessed. It was dragging on for far too long." Chucks hugged us both and seemed like a proud parent. "I love you both, but he was driving me crazy with always talking about you while on tour. He even said he's writing a song about-"

"That's enough." Bruce said trying for Chucks to not comment on the topic.

"Well, I can't wait to hear my boyfriend's new song then." I smiled looking at them both.

Bruce seemed to blush at the mention of the word 'boyfriend'. "Boyfriend..I love the sound of you saying it." He came over again and kissed the top of my head and hugged me.

"How about after the show we all head out for drinks? My treat for you both." Chucks said winking making us blush again.

Before we could go on talking, they were being called on stage, now ready for the big concert. I wished them both luck when they ran on stage and I stayed behind with the rest of the team behind, ready to enjoy their big night.

[aita-blorbos]

this is from a fic i’m writing. the characters are canon, the situation is not.

warning: pregnancy, cheating

Aita for getting my girlfriend’s best friend pregnant?

This sounds absolutely terrible and I know that. I’ve been conflicted about it for months and it’s not like there’s anyone else I can tell so I decided to come here.

Some backstory. N (18f) and I (18m) have been dating since last summer. We broke up for a little bit and then got back together once we’d sorted everything out between us and we’ve been pretty happy with each other. Recently, N’s best friend H (18f) came back from college and started working at the farm that I work at. H has been dating R (18m) since last summer. R is an asshole. This isn’t me being biased or jealous or anything, this is just a fact. Everyone knows it. He’s a terrible person and he’s probably not a good boyfriend. He’s the type of guy that won’t let you have guy friends because he’s scared you’ll cheat or something.

Anyway. H and I have been working at this farm for a little while and I happened to notice one day that she’s got some muscle where she didn’t before (mostly her back and shoulders) and that I found it attractive. I didn’t do anything or say anything because we’re both seeing other people and (up until now) I wasn’t that kind of guy.

A mutual friend (D, 18m) had decided to host a reunion of sorts one day and N invited me along. I’m not really a party person but I went because I knew she wanted to go and so that I could drive her home if she got too drunk. I didn’t end up driving her home, but another friend (B, 18m) did. I stayed for a little bit longer and I was going to go home when H crashed into me. She’d clearly been drinking and I helped her into the kitchen to sit down and get her a glass of water and maybe some advil. We were the only two people in the kitchen and she kissed me. I didn’t know what to do. I’ll admit I wanted to kiss her back but by the time I recovered enough brainpower to do so, she’d already moved away. So I kissed her. We didn’t do anything beyond kissing. I took her home because her mom isn’t the best and I’d rather her stay with me than her mom. We didn’t do anything, just slept and I made coffee and toast the next morning and neither of us really said anything. She left relatively early and I got ready for work.

We avoided each other pretty much all day at work. And then we had to check the barn and make sure all the stalls were locked. It can be a one person job, but it’s easier with two because it just goes quicker. We finished checking the stalls (they were all locked) and once we were done she kissed me again. We started making out pretty quickly and we ended up in the bed up in the loft of the barn that night.

Both of us knew that being with each other was better and nicer and felt more right than being with our respective partners, but we also knew that cheating was wrong and if we wanted to continue this, we couldn’t get caught. I didn’t think much of it. We started meeting around town whenever we were both free, sometimes to hook up, sometimes just to talk and cuddle and pretend like this was normal. I’m not the type to fall in love very fast but I knew by the end of the first night that I had fallen for her.

She showed up at my house maybe a month later. Typically, she doesn’t come to my house, so I was a little nervous. We went to my room and she told me she was pregnant. I didn’t know what to do but I believed her. She wouldn’t lie about that. Not when the risk of us getting found out was so high already. We’ve been doing everything we can to make sure she’s healthy when the baby gets here and to make sure no one finds out that I’m actually the father. I’ve told her this before, but I don’t know what to do. If either of our partners find out, it won’t be pretty. I won’t leave her—I’m not letting her go back to R—but at some point we’re going to have to come clean. We haven’t told anyone but I know if we do, they’re just going to hate us.

Aita?

[confessions-official]

i used to have a best friend who i was extremely close with all through highschool. we had sleepovers, we stayed at each others houses weekly, we talked nearly nightly, you get the point. about halfway through my freshman year they started dating a mutual friend who i was kind of close with.

i got extremely jealous. i knew my best friend wouldn't date me bc they were 2 years older than me (maturity gap between a 14 year old and a 16-17 year old, yknow?) but i was still so upset. i always put on a good face around the two but secretly i always hoped they would break up and i would be the rebound for my best friend.

years later after they both graduated highschool and i was in my senior year we started to drift apart. they joined a new friend group and since we weren't in school together we weren't seeing each other every day or hanging out after school like we used to.

the only times we really talked were phone calls during their lunch break, and during the entire 30 minutes they would only talk about the dnd campaign they were in with this other friend group.

when we met up in person it would be all they talked about. for hours. nonstop droning on about the campaign and the character deaths and the plot twists. i started to get irritated and we stopped making plans to hang out irl anymore. eventually they broke up with our mutual friend but we all stayed friendly about it, keeping out small friend group together. turns out i wasn't the only person they talked to about this campaign

the ONLY THING they talked about to ANY OF US was this campaign. any time we changed the topic they would change it again. we tried to be nice to them but when me, the mutual friend, and another member of our friend group got together we just talked about how it seemed they didn't care about anything else.

the last straw that made me consider that they were ghosting me was when our 3rd friend group member planned a huge halloween party but had to cancel. we all agreed to meet up later. a few days after halloween i went to their apartment to pick them up to go rollerskating and they were cleaning up. from a halloween party. they threw. and invited everyone from our friend group and their own. except for me.

the other 2 ppl in our friend group gave up on them, and let things fade. i tried to keep in contact, but one day they just stopped replying to my messages. the last time we talked was back in april 2022, when they promised me they would try to spend more time with me. the last message they sent in our group chat was from feburary 2022.

i know i was basically ghosted by my best friend and crush of 4 years, but i still miss them. whenever im sad i think of them and the time we spent together. they really helped me through a lot and it just makes me painfully sad to think about them. i think even if we tried to reconnect it wouldn't be the same. i miss them more than any person i know yet i feel like i can never speak to them again.

im going to a convention this weekend and im afraid ill see them again. i really hope we dont/they dont recognize me. i dont think i can handle talking to them anymore.

.