#and okay sooooooooooooo
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Guo Haojun | Rising Feather (2023)
#rising feather#青雀成凰#cdramaedit#userdramas#cdrama#asiandramanet#cdramasource#guo haojun#mymymy#ep 17#our lil doctor here went from like ehh to AYE and all it took was for him to get an arrow to the back thinking he was trying to save FL#but alas it was crazy 2nd lead wifey who he is DEFFFF gonna have something somethingggg with#looking forward to that cause she cray and lil dumb but she deserves some love toooooooo her life just SUCKS haaah#yeahhhhh she spoiled and she did some bad stuff but if I was in her sitaution rn i would have been prb been evil too lolol#and okay sooooooooooooo#this drama is a messsssssssss like a fenderbender where its not THAT interesting the longer you stare at it but you still wanna look#i love watching that toxic fight love cray sadly lolololool#mainboii juilin can truly carry a drama and him with FL are t..t..ttttt... TOXIC where you just go ??? are they even on the same page#ive peaked the future eps and the end so i will prob gif the happy stuff when I get there offically
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THE BROTHERS SFORZA
augh. there sure is a lot going on between them. tfw you know your older brother is wary of you so you have to navigate that fine line of proving you're useful, but not dangerously so. tfw your younger brother has the potential to be a knife in your back, but he's your brother. don't think too hard about what happened with the galeazzo. unfortunately, you're both visconti as well as sforza, and the visconti were prone to conspiracy. fucking RIP.
this definitely won't be upsetting years down the line when ascanio is near death and ludovico will be desperate to figure out how to bring his brother's body back to milan so ascanio can be interred in the same place as ludovico's recently deceased wife, beatrice d'este, and where ludovico himself has been haunting in a perpetual state of grief.
& the background of the first panel are public domain scans of two cards out of the visconti-sforza tarot deck.
Ascanio Maria Sforza: la parabola politica di un cardinale-principe del Rinascimento, Marco Pellegrini
#ABSOLUTELY BANANAS PHRASING abt one of these paragraphs btw#'metafora della sottomissione del figlio al padre' okay!! like going into that dynamic with your older brother is so. sooooooooooooo#like it makes sense. this is a dynast family. the father is dead. the eldest son was assassinated.#so now your older brother who was not the eldest brother WOULD assume the father-head of household role#and in the case of an emergency. you would fall into place as his right hand#which was. which was formerly occupied by your mother. and your older sister to the assassinated brother. so. WELL#that IS how you would prove you were useful to the state-household. it's just that.#NOBILITY IS SO FUCKING INSULAR ALL THE TIME. christ#the claustrophobia of being suspicious of your brother but having to rely on him#better to follow the plan your parents and eldest brother had in mind and marry him off to the church#italian renaissance tag#ascanio sforza#ludovico sforza#komiks tag#drawing tag#anyway eventually i'll figure out an art style i like for the renaissance cast. i think im getting close#but AUGH im still missing that feeling of 'yes. good.' im leaning towards the dead lineweight tho. that feels Right.
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INSANE thing he's said that i'm not fully convinced isn't made up
#like dude....................#sooooooooooooo normal. 'oh oh i'm the age this guy i'm a huge fan of was when he died' ??????????? ok concerning. but go on#'i'm a hermit who doesn't get along with humans in general since my apparent glamorous hollywood live is lived within 4 walls in isolation'#ah okay. [kills myself]#has GOT to be taking major piss right??#alex turner
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5 and 24 for the fic writer asks?
5. Which WIP is first on your list to complete this year? Will you post a snippet?
it's probably gonna be the very recently renamed "kīpuka," subtitle "danny and despair talk about their feelings," sub-subtitle "this one was technically just supposed to be about the rats," sub-sub-subtitle "can i get a hell yeah from all the pre-contact hawaiian culture specialists and enthusiasts hanging out in the sandman netflix tag on ao3 for some reason":
Anuanu ka ua no ka uka o ʻŌlaʻa. Cold falls the rain in the uplands of ‘Ōla’a. Sharp eyes accustomed to darkness might spy, far off to leeward, a break in the clouds, the faint pale gleam of a low moon and stars. Here, though, in the windward shadow of the mountains, the night brings a chill in its wake, and the air is so heavy with moisture it clings like a second skin. Above the canopy, a fine, steady fall of rain silvers the air; below it is a claustrophobic press of ‘ōhi’a and tree-fern trunks, so dense that no human could hope to pass through without iron and fire and poison to clear a path. Even light struggles to reach the forest floor, caught in the tangle of frond and bough. Something has passed through here, though. Something that needs no path, that leaves no trail. See, here—a gap in the understory. A rare old-growth koa tree, missed or passed over by the kahuna kālai wa’a of far-off times, its trunk and boughs breaking through the ceiling of greenery and reaching towards the clouded sky. A patchy clearing has opened up around the great tree, as though its smaller neighbors have withdrawn to a respectful distance, maka’āinana before their ali’i. At this hour, in this weather, no light pours through the koa’s wide-spreading boughs to dapple the olonā and fern below. There is simply the rain, the cold, a momentary relief from the closeness of the forest, and— A stir in the darkness at the foot of the koa tree.
24. By the end of this year, you want your fandom to think of you as “that author who _______.”
"that author who is real weird about lucienne making out with a creechur, beeft, and/or entity." i'd also accept "the danny/luce person" on the grounds that i do think most of the stuff in that tag on ao3 is my shit anyway. witness me.
#ask games#chatter#thanks sunbreak!#to anyone reading this who is like ''hmm the typesetting on the hawaiian looks kinda—'' I KNOW OKAY I KNOW I KNOW#I KNOW I'M GONNA HAVE TO GO THROUGH AND REPLACE ALL THOSE APOSTROPHES WITH 'OKINA. I'M AWARE. AND IT'S TEARING ME APART.#I MADE A STRATEGIC CHOICE TO ALLOW MYSELF TO KEEP MOVING THROUGH THE ACTUAL SENTENCES AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE#and yes i know it's technically more correct to use the grave accent than the apostrophe for the 'okina but here's the thing.#the grave accent looks sooooooooo fucking ugly in context. it's sooooooooooooo ugly.#i would rather go through and replace every single incorrect apostrophe by hand than have to look at that thang over and over.#and if you're thinking now ''swan it sounds like you have a different problem actually'' you are correct.
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Andi Deris - Perfect Gentleman
Helloween - Silver Spring, MD 5.18.2023
#I’m still not okay after singing this song at each other#literal perfect gentleman#I miss him sooooooooooooo Bad#andi deris#Helloween#Helloween band
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for you i pulled the 10 of swords and the high priestess @izzuleos
word count: 544
content warning for leo's high school depressive episode
Leo rolls over in his bed again. He does not want to move despite the gentle orange of the sunlight peeking through his curtain with the sunrise (or is it the glow of the sun dipping back below the horizon? Leo can’t tell right now).
He just wants to throw himself to the tides and let the ocean carry his body somewhere else. Maybe he can find a will to continue somewhere else.
But he just stays in his bed. He brings his legs up to his chest and tries to cry, but the tears don’t come.
He must still be out of tears from the last time he cried.
When was the last time he drank?
When was the last time he ate?
His hair felt greasy and matted and he needed a shower.
There’s a gentle knocking at the door and he wants to tell Ruka to leave him alone again, but the voice that greets him isn’t that of his little sister.
“Uh, hey, Leo-kun. It’s me, Sena.”
Oh.
Leo wants to turn him away, send him home. He can’t possibly see him like this, so sad, so pathetic, hardly worthy of the title of King.
“I know you probably don’t want to see me right now. I wouldn’t blame you if you just cursed me out to my face, but we’re worried about you.”
There’s a pause and Leo moves to respond before--
“I’m…worried about you, Leo-kun.”
Please just open up and let me take care of you, if only for a minute.
Leo doesn’t have the energy to move from his bed, but he talks just loud enough for Izumi to hear him.
“You can come in, Sena.”
There’s another pause before the doorknob turns and the silver haired boy enters the room.
There are clothes on the floor and crumpled pieces of paper everywhere, but Izumi doesn’t seem to mind as he closes the door behind him and gently pads over to Leo.
“Your sister told me you haven’t eaten in a few days. She wanted me to bring you this soup.”
Leo shifted in his bed and sat up.
“Thanks, Sena.”
Leo tried to grab the bowl but his hand shook as Izumi pulled his hands away.
“Why don’t you let me feed you, Leo-kun.”
Leo just nodded and Izumi went and pulled up the chair from his desk next to Leo’s bed.
Slowly but surely Izumi made sure Leo ate the soup.
It struck Leo that this wasn’t something Izumi would have ever done before. Something so small and domestic like feeding Leo soup and wiping his chin when some of the broth dripped down his face.
But he didn’t mind. It was just what he needed at that moment. Even in the silence, thick with problems that needed to be addressed eventually, just for a moment, Leo let himself just take in the feeling of being alive, of being loved.
And maybe he would make it past this eventually, even if Izumi had to come back every week, every day and make sure Leo ate something, had wiped his face off with a wet towel, and took care of himself.
Maybe that was love, and maybe Leo could let himself be loved again one day.
#shay speaks#shay writes#enstars#leo tsukinaga#izumi sena#could be read as izuleo but its mostly platonic in this instance#uhm anyway i had a hard time figuring out what to do for the high priestess#so i actually looked at my book that came with the deck for how to interpret it and it said like#'smth that can only be understood by experiencing it' sooooooooooooo yeah#most of these im not actually going for the meaning or making the cards plot points#the one for pierce i did the first two cards as rinne and his father like as characters#and the last card was the kind of like. what was going on.#this one is like the 10 of swords is what happens and the high priestess is what comes out of it. if that makes sense#i will use my cards as i see fit for these okay? okay#anyway i hope you enjoy#OH ALSO should i make these a little thing on ao3. not like a collection bc i dont want to title them all but like#their own work thats just whenever i do tarot writing requests i can add whatever i do that night as a new chapter#i kind of want to but im also fine just making them tumblr exclusives
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so crazy how fated everything surrounding fob and i have been like no it isn't parasocial we were literally written in the stars i literally understand them on a deeper level than anyone ever w r soulmates‼️
#i love them sooooooooooooo much always & forever they r my world#been going through an incredibly rough time recently and im trying to appreciate the things that make me happy more than focusing on the#negative stuff where/when i can and like. fob makes me so happy :') they make life very worth it for me as like. cringe as that may be idc#every day for the past few weeks have been so terrible but they r there they r always there. im so thankful for them. ough#okay that was todays moment of appreciation <3 we r enduring <3#txt
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where is nico when we need him the most
#JINX THEM.#DO NOT LET THEM FINISH#sorry okay i've been yelling a lot i'm just. there was sooooooooooooo much potential for this race
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ive actually been thinking about emet smoaking all morning on and off i have to tell you guys i really like the ideaof him leaving his lipstick on the used up ends of his cigs <333 and getting to look at him smoke,
#dreamy sigh#i know it's so bad for his health but he's an ascian he'll be okay and also it's sooooooooooooo
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three drafts left AND I rb'd some other ask games, we gettin this BREAD
#☾*✲⋆. Le Verseau#okay tbf the asks are like#the 50 question ones#which are SOOOOOOOOOOOOO time consuming....
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Am I allowed to just not talk to someone ever again for no reason apart from the fact I simply don’t want to (unbothered core)
#dora daily#like ugh it feels like sooooooooooooo much mental prep and extensive forcing myself to do so#it’s becoming like a chore in truth#I wouldn’t mind being left alone tbh 🧎♀️ in fact that sounds wonderful#the days where I was all by myself were some of my most peaceful days I could ever have had#not much suicidalness not much hysteria just mostly normal as normal as I can be anyways#THIS is what happens btw when you take fifty yrs to respond to me i take longer 😇#not that I intentionally do so not at all#it’s the fact it feels exhausting and so so draining to just talk#it feels like a chore#if this happens over like a year or more I will just find myself feeling like I don’t want to talk anymore and that you’re not very interest#interesting to talk to.#and btw I am sooo patient and I accept billions of excuses but when the excuses become old like bbg we live in the same state okay you#shouldn’t be taking fifty hours to reply ESP if as you suggest you’re soooooo bored like girl bffr#and you say you’re always on your phone#girl BYE —#honestly I’ve gotten to the point where I srsly do not care for most of the ppl I speak to they’re simply bothersome and annoying and I only#hang around because they don’t seem to have gotten tired of me yet#and as I said I am VERY patient but I also feel things hysterically LMAO ie that means you not replying when you have the chance and taking#far too long to get back with little to no excuse / recurrent silly excuses girl that kind of makes me psycho 😭#it’s honestly not that hard to reply like AT ALL if you’re mentally okay and sane#I often wonder how I do it and I struggle with tons of stuff so when you rlly look at it these ppl don’t rlly have an excuse !
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uh oh new tow captain dropped
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#i wanted 2 post this on twt but word limit + fear of being Jumped so here we are! DSKJFHKSDJHF anyways#thinking abt the plague that is Individualism and how so many people agree it's harmful on certain axes but neglect to acknowledge how they#still have this mindset on other axes#saw a post where disabled leftists were (rightfully) criticizing self-centered “leftists”. but i'd seen this post after narrowly avoiding#the same Bullshit Queer Discourse#and witnessing these two things side by side made me think like. Huh.#in both instances you have a group of people who consider themselves to be “just” and “progressive” but neglect members of their communitie#and fail to acknowledge their own narrow-mindedness. despite attempted corrections from said neglected members of these communities.#and it's FUNNIER when you have people who claim to be all about love when they hold 0 love for their communities. that's the thing i think#there are sooooooooooooo SO many people online who are only interested in talking about Themselves. and not in the 'people like me are#are often overlooked and others need to be aware of this' type of way. no. i mean like people engaging with meaningless discourse online#trying to prove that They are going through something UNIMAGINABLY hard and that their word is absolute (it is usually just white#folks in their twitter echo chambers in all honesty. i'm sure there are other instances but i cannot speak on those.)#so you have people who are so self absorbed. people who cannot grow until they stop making shit about Them Only#these are the same people who will talk about being “lovers” like you are a hateful ass person do NOT lie#where is the genuine care and love for your community?? Everyone involved in that? do you listen? do you hold yourself accountable for your#mistakes? are you okay with being wrong? do people feel safe around you?#are you okay with trying because you care and not because other people are watching? would you do it if people weren't?#i dunno. i hope this makes some sort of sense#sap says#i could talk abt this for HOURS so i'll stop here. for now
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Trembling like a wet chihuahua because one of my mentors at work is going on vacation tomorrow for like. a week and a half.
We're the only 2 people in the department that specialize in this area for one of our biggest fuckoff customers, and they tend to have...
✨ problems.✨
Often.
#glitch talks#and like. this isn't a slight against my mentor; he approached me well in advance and asked if i'd be okay if he took the vacation#it's just there's SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much i still haven't even seen that has the potential to be a ✨problem✨
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my tita's taste in video game characters is so silly i love it
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#uhh i am more aerith but she is more tifa#and she likes therion and so do i#and. that's mostly it i know. sobs! uhh she's doing black eagles route bcs she knows stuff from online a bit#but i know she likes dimitri. haha. she literally said herself she likes pretty boys... me too.....#raghh i need to do homework asap when i get home. tbh i'm not stressed. i'm good#i just need to do stuff asap is the thing! but break is so soon... happy#really excited for our lil trip vacation early april. + prom. fkbskdbsjd#gay friend of my other tita who is in the U.S. is coming too n apprently uhh he is Nice#a normal guy who happens to be gay. smth like that. but hes the only gay guy adult i really know#thats close to my. family? somewhat? just my tita but my other tita and lola have met him and hes nice#i am excited to meet him bcs as a lgbtq person. JDHSJDNS YEAH..... also american so mhm i am very curious#not in a weird way okay. just really really curious as it is in my nature to be very curious. yeah#im also very nervous tho haha i really am not good with talking to people i do not know!!! too quiet too shy#ive gotten better tho? mostly bcs im a lil energetic usually n jumpy n just myself. so its been a bit easier#idm being the one to speak up for me and lune or whatever now uhh b4 i used to be really annoyed it was usually me#but it is Fine. teehee also RAGHHHHHHHHH YOU KNOW i love going outside tbh every sunday uhh#i do not want to Go Home early but gotta feed stray cats which is >>> to malls. so yeah#sooooooooooooo. idk. bye!#going to finish homework asap. funny i've done a lot of the few left but they're due like. uh. nah nvm actually#havent worked on that one due tmrw lol but ive done the easier ones mostly. oops! i gotta improve with that still#and a lot of stuff. getting there <3
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heehee
#not to be gay but i think it would be super cool to kiss another man#i've been SOOOOOOOOOOOOO gay recently#can you imagine getting to tell another man he looks nice and then hold him by the waist bc that would be POGGERS#but like honestly a big thing for me is like#i'm polyam right#idk if id be able to find anyone who'd be okay w that#i'm still really stuck in my ways with a lot of things and ik i have a lot to work on before i start actually seeing a guy but i don't wanna#WAIT I want to have a man lean against me and I want to call him sweet lil pet names NOW or else i DIE#IDK I'VE BEEN REALLY HFKJDHFKJSDHKJDSHFJ AND I DON'T HAVE A WAY TO REALLY COMFORTABLY VENT THIS SO HERE U GO
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