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jeongyunhoed · 3 years ago

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Past-Present-Future Black Dahlia

Two major tragedies bring Lee Mirae closer to the edge as she goes through the stages of grief in a more violent manner that would affect not only her relationships with her boyfriend Jeong Yunho and her half-brother Choi San, but also has her becoming closer with the immortal mutant Kang Yeosang. Fueled by rage, grief, and pain, along with a very rude awakening that has Mirae spiraling out of control and questioning everything she holds dear.

Group: ATEEZ Member: Yunho Pairing: Jeong Yunho / OC Genre: Action, adventure, angst, fantasy

Watch Out! : Violence, blood, death, grief and loss, major character deaths, use of weapons, some jealousy (but no cheating ofc), implied smut (not sure if there is any but i’m putting it out there nonetheless), mental illness (probably?), gambling and alcohol

Anything else? : Mentions of other idols of course as well as other characters. SuperM, Dean, Chanyeol, Zelo, soloist Park Jihoon to name a few.

Author’s Note: First chapter is here! Compared to the previous stories from the AU, this might have very long chapters, like more than 10 pages in google docs long. But anyway, tag list is open, and yeah. Enjoy the first of a rollercoaster of emotions.

This whole first chapter also, is me giving brief backstories of what happened before/backstories of many characters here. Basic plot is mine, characters are not. This is all for fun/entertainment/emotional anguish.

Masterlist

Chapter 1

When one is at their breaking point, everything begins to change. The lines between right and wrong are blurred, and one’s moral compass begins to spin into oblivion.

9:00 p.m.

Laughter filled the almost empty space of Viva Polo, having closed for the night except for a table occupied by Lee Mirae, Park Chanyeol, and Kwon Hyuk. The rest of the tables had already been overturned, marking the end of another day at work, at least for Chanyeol. The three of them had a tradition of meeting up every week, something they started doing after the previous adventures they had.

The three of them were mutants, and to their knowledge, they were the last surviving members of the group that saved the country, if not the world during the Seoul attack. A year after that, the three of them found each other again, reuniting to save the country once again from an evil cult bent on achieving utopia through taking control of its citizens. Two adventures that had major consequences on the three of them, and events that they will forever remember.

Two of them, Mirae and Hyuk, were classified as omega-level or level 5 mutants, with powers that were impossible to surpass by any other mutant thus far. Mirae was not only gifted in a mastery of hand-to-hand combat, both armed and unarmed, but she had the gift of manipulating potential energy into kinetic energy. She could turn virtually any object into an explosive and if channeled to an extreme extent, was able to level a skyscraper.

With her abilities came the secondary gift of a healing factor that made her almost immortal and slowed down her aging immensely. Because of her ability to manipulate energy, she was also able to generate static that resulted in a very strong psychic block that was only made stronger by another omega-level mutant, Jang Ino. From the adventures she had on her own and even after the Utopian cult, another ability manifested itself in her; taking souls and trapping them into objects, usually her deck of cards.

Meanwhile, Kwon Hyuk, a well-known music producer and songwriter, was a level 5 telekinetic and could move anything with his mind. His psychic abilities also gave him the gift of producing shields that were almost impenetrable.

In their adventure into the Utopian cult, Hyuk developed his telepathic abilities, which he used to extract memories or read into memories of others. Hyuk was nearly captured by the goons from the Utopian cult when they met again, and has since tried to use his powers as discreetly as possible with some difficulty.

Hyuk didn’t formally join Mirae and Chanyeol until the later days of the Seoul attack, having laid low, undiscovered by Ino who was at the time, serving his father Professor Inhwan Jang. Hyuk had openly used his powers in front of the group during a time when Mirae and one of her other colleagues, a telekinetic named Luhan, were affected by the goblin king’s inducement of traumatic memories that caused their powers to manifest for the first time.

It was there that Hyuk realized that he could do so much more with his mutant gifts, rather than use them solely for trivial purposes.

Hyuk had a cousin, the singer Lee Midam, who was under his entertainment agency, in the 10-member group called Silver. Midam was, like him, a psychic, but of a different kind. Midam was a psychic that could make the worst fears or strongest desires of another person come to life before them. Midam also had the ability to sense when a person will die in the near future.

Park Chanyeol was a level 4 pyrokinetic, also known as an alpha-level mutant. He created and manipulated fire in all its aspects, from turning into a fire being to being able to put out and set fire onto virtually anything. In his fire form, he was granted the ability to fly and heal and even out of his fire form, Chanyeol could withstand extreme heat.

He worked with Mirae in the Center for Paranormal Research upon his discovery by Ino, leaving his work in his mother’s Italian restaurant behind to find purpose for his abilities. For some time after the Seoul attack, Chanyeol thought he was the only one left, until he was seen by another survivor, their tech guy Choi Junhong, looking over the remains of what used to be the Center, the epicenter of the entire attack.

From the adventures they had, the three of them still managed to continue with their lives. Hyuk stayed in his agency to work on music, Chanyeol helped around his parents’ restaurant and live club, while Mirae ran the music store that she took ownership in after the passing of her adoptive parents. Hyuk and Chanyeol also helped other mutants like them, Mirae’s old colleagues from her days as an assassin under a sanitarium, practice controlling their powers.

With the way the events of the past years shaped them, their lives would forever be intertwined and they knew it. Even with the disagreements that occurred in the final days of the Seoul attack, with the three of them being the only survivors from that group that acted, they were like family to each other.

“One of these days, we’ll go on a mission, do something, just the three of us again,” Chanyeol said fondly, finishing the last slice of pizza from his place.

“Even if we don’t go on something like that, we should still do something, just the three of us,” Mirae repeated with a grin. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah, someone needs to watch your back this time, you nearly got your powers taken away,” Hyuk pointed out, taking a sip of his iced tea.

The last adventure Mirae went on involved a demon and their followers, the one responsible for a long-running conspiracy that went behind the glitz and glamour of the country’s entertainment industry. Mirae was outmatched and captured, her powers being used to channel the summoning of the demon Ose. It left her boyfriend Yunho and her half-brother San, along with her old colleagues including immortal mutant billionaire Kang Yeosang, to be the ones to save her and the world.

Mirae shook her head. “It was only one time. Just one. But I’m starting to think I’m losing my touch, to be honest,” She looked down at her now-empty plate.

“I wouldn’t think of it that way if I were you,” Hyuk patted her shoulder. “You still have your powers, don’t you? Didn’t Junhong say your powers only got stronger after that? You’re practically invincible.”

“Says the person who is also practically invincible,” Mirae grinned.

“But I don’t heal like you do. Chanyeol doesn’t even heal like you unless he sets himself on fire.”

“Can you stop talking about injuries now? I think we’ll be late for that training session both of you promised the guys,” Mirae nudged the telekinetic.

Chanyeol got up at the mention of the training session. All of their plates floating in mid-air, the cutlery and glasses sorting themselves out, as Hyuk followed the taller male into the kitchen, making sure nothing dropped. Mirae smiled to herself as she removed the tablecloth and the napkins.

The boys at the safehouse would be waiting for them, San and Yunho included. Choi San was her half-brother, and had almost the same abilities as her, including her healing factor and a mastery of martial arts. Unlike Mirae, who channeled her powers mainly through her extendable staff, San channeled his into a harpoon gun.

San’s powers first manifested in his high school years, as a result of the constant pressure placed on him by their father, who wanted him to pursue a career he himself wanted. Upon learning how to control his abilities better, San ran away from home, eventually learning the skills he knew to become a paid hitman. San also witnessed Mirae getting taken away to be interned at the sanitarium, and he looked everywhere for her.

Jeong Yunho was Mirae’s boyfriend. Yunho was also like her, skilled in hand-to-hand combat, both unarmed and armed. Yunho was also a mutant, an immortal mutant who possessed the ability to teleport, but could only do so in dark places.

Yunho’s powers manifested when he was killed in Morocco during what would be Mirae’s final mission before she was discharged. Her memories of him were seemingly erased in the final electroshock therapy session used to alter her recollection of missions. They only found each other again when Mirae was being targeted by the Kang crime family, descendants of Yeosang who held a disdain for mutants.

Hyuk returned from the kitchen. “What’s that smile about?” He asked.

“Nothing, nothing, I just realized how it’s been a while since we did something like this together,” Mirae replied.

“Lee Mirae, you’re getting sappy.”

“Did I lie?” She laughed.

“No, but that’s weird of you,” Hyuk laughed as well. “I mean you are right. I’ve been busy practically managing the group, Chanyeol’s busy here, we’re just busy living our lives.”

“My point stands that we’ve never done anything together in a while, unless those goblins come up again and try to kill us,” Mirae joked.

“Hopefully not,” Said the psychic, the table in front of them turning itself over on top of another table. “Even with the way things ended back then, I’m glad the three of us found each other.”

The kitchen doors opened and Chanyeol returned, wiping his hands, with his backpack in tow. “Whose car are we using?” He asked.

Without another word, the three of them extended their fists. Both Mirae and Chanyeol had scissors, while Hyuk’s hand remained curled into a fist. “Guess it’s yours then, Mr. Psychic,” Mirae grinned.

“Be glad I stopped for gas before coming here,” He gave them a look as they left the restaurant.

The car pulled up in front of a brick-walled building that had a vending machine. It was the entrance to the safehouse that now became the headquarters of everything mutant-related. It was also where Mirae’s old colleagues were now staying, with the exception of two; Jung Wooyoung and Park Seonghwa.

The three of them got out, sensing the slight change in the air as they approached the machine. They knew there was a sort of cloaking over the spot that shielded anyone from seeing that the vending machine moved to the side to reveal a secret passage. Chanyeol, Mirae, and Hyuk entered the dark passageway and stopped at the red door at the very end.

The safehouse was similarly modeled to the recreation room in the Center for Paranormal Research, with a couch and beanbags surrounding a flat-screen television and several game consoles. There was a sleeping quarters and a shower area and a kitchen that was only stocked with instant food. Ino and Junhong’s labs and offices were in the two other doors in the kitchen area that had a small dining table where they would at least take turns in eating.

This time, the safehouse had since expanded thanks to Ino’s ability to manipulate matter. Junhong’s lab was much bigger, more beds were added to the sleeping quarters, and there was a small training room that Junhong fortified. A shelf was behind the television, showing all the weapons carried by the group of men who now resided in the place; a rapier, a set of nunchaku, and a few axes and shurikens. Those belonged to three people: Kim Hongjoong, Choi Jongho, and Song Mingi.

All of them were trained assassins, skilled in hand-to-hand combat both unarmed and armed. While Mirae and Yunho were no longer part of the group, the remaining members were turned into personal guards of the Kang crime family and underwent several experiments to turn them into super soldiers. All of them were impervious to pain and were a lot more agile in their movements.

It was those experiments that triggered the mutant gene in each of them, their own mutant abilities manifesting around the same time. Hongjoong possessed superhuman speed and could be as fast as the speed of light that also enabled him to heal if wounded. Seonghwa was a telekinetic, whose powers also made itself known if his eyes and fingertips glowed green. Mingi, like Chanyeol, was also a pyrokinetic, but unlike Chanyeol, could only manipulate flames that already exist.

Wooyoung on the other hand, possessed the ability to turn into a shadow being. His shadow form allowed him to be intangible, as well as give him superhuman strength and a healing factor. But along with his shadow form, Wooyoung developed a kind of extrasensory perception, where he could see past and future events from a person or an object, or even a name.

Jongho had the painful ability to manipulate his bone structure, and his arms and legs would produce a sharp spike that could pierce anything.

They immediately noticed that a few other weapons were shelved, as they were likely in the labs or in the training room; a set of sai, katanas, a bow and a quiver full of arrows, and the harpoon gun. Everyone was indeed present.

“Hello?” Hyuk called out as they closed the door behind them.

“We’re here!” Chanyeol called out as well.

“Yunho? San?” Mirae spoke, looking around the empty living room.

Suddenly materializing in front of them was Ino. “Good! You’re all here! The rest of them are in the training rooms, but can you wait a little bit? There’s something I’m finishing and I hope the three of you can test it out for me,” He said.

Jang Ino was a prime example of a true omega-level mutant, with abilities so powerful he was almost like a god. Ino had the gift of manipulating matter, inter-dimensional teleportation, telekinesis, telepathy, duplication with sentient clones, intangibility, precognition as well as the ability to see everything as it happened. Ino’s abilities manifested much later than the rest of them despite not being much older than Chanyeol, Hyuk, and Mirae, and thus had more difficulty trying to control each of his abilities.

“Really? What is it?” Mirae asked as Chanyeol put down his backpack while she put down her staff.

Ino looked excited. “Another training room, or…?”

“Another Danger Room,” Hyuk nodded. “Can it not turn into a vortex manipulator again?”

“I can’t promise that, but it’s as safe as ever, right? Just like old times,” Ino was beaming. “Ah, well, you might as well see it for yourself. I’ll call the rest of them,” and he disappeared.

“Are we supposed to wait for them here?” Chanyeol glanced at them, and they shrugged.

A commotion erupted from the door that was Junhong’s lab, making them turn around. “For a telekinetic, you could’ve aimed better! You could’ve killed me!” Hongjoong appeared, shooting Seonghwa a look.

“You sped away in time! You knew it wasn’t going to reach you anyway!” Seonghwa argued back.

“Well I wasn’t able to, not when Mingi keeps playing with that lighter of his! It’s like having to pass by a dragon each time I’m next to him.”

“So your situation is actually my fault, is that what you’re saying?” Mingi spoke, looking at them incredulously. “I was practicing my pyrokinesis the way Chanyeol hyung showed me, right, San?”

“Stop including me!” said the male who had a visible white streak in his hair similar to Mirae’s.

“This was a department store-bought shirt and Jongho just had to ruin it!” Wooyoung shrieked, pointing to the tears in his sleeve.

“Welcome to my world, Wooyoung! Live with it!” Jongho shot back.

“At least I don’t have spikes coming out of my sleeves and pants!”

Chanyeol and Mirae exchanged looks. Hyuk stifled a laugh. “Kind of reminds you how much we bickered back then, huh? I bet those guys would’ve loved to see a repeat of this,” He chuckled.

“Nothing seems to have changed after all,” Mirae laughed, their reactions making the group stop in their tracks. “We just had dinner,” She explained. “I see training’s been going well?”

“Not so much when the rest of them bicker more than San and I do,” out of the group came Yunho, who immediately swept her up in a hug then exchanged high fives with Hyuk and Chanyeol as he pulled away.

The taller form of Junhong appeared from the crowd as well, with scorch marks on his lab coat and a hole in his clipboard. Ino had materialized again as well. “So, the Danger Room, Junhong?” Hyuk asked.

“Yes, yes, the Danger Room,” Junhong led them to the pair of doors on the other side of the space. He pushed the button, the doors opening up to reveal a dark room covered in what looked like steel tiles. There was a panel of buttons near the doors from the inside and on one side of the room, was a booth. “Ta-da!” He announced, looking over at the three of them, while the rest looked amazed.

“A little shift in elements here and there, I was able to expand this entire space of ours, make it a little more familiar, don’t you think?” Ino smiled.

Mirae approached the panel of buttons near the side. “Ice fortress, dystopia, post-apocalypse, zombie invasion, alien invasion, gladiator arena,” She read out. Mirae turned to the next set of buttons and looked over at Junhong. “Why is my name at the top of this panel? Am I a level of difficulty?” She asked, looking puzzled.

“The highest,” Ino spoke. “But that level’s reserved for the three of you, not that these guys can’t do it, but the three of you are more experienced.”

“San and Yunho are just as experienced, if you ask me,” Mirae pointed out with a shrug, choosing not to argue any more.

“Yes, but they’ve never been through the same missions as you and Chanyeol did back at the Center, remember?” Ino reminded her. “The creatures at the museum, the goblin warriors at the train station, and their throne room, and the jewelry store at night?”

“I remember the jewelry store one,” Hyuk said, glancing at her. “We were coming from dinner when the store exploded. It was the time I found out Mirae was a mutant.”

Mirae smiled at her friend’s recollection. “Yeah, you came from that singing competition too.”

Chanyeol grinned. “The train station, I remember that well. Everyone hated us when they saw what was happening in broad daylight. Junmyeon got hot coffee thrown at him...” He looked down the more he remembered.

Ino noticed Wooyoung squinting at him, the rest of them looking fascinated by their brief trip down memory lane. “Well, I thought I’d show the rest of them how the three of you would do things in these simulations. Hyuk, I know you joined us late at the time, but you still know a thing or two on how to handle non-human entities, right?” He said.

“Oh yeah, I was with you all at the Esteholm,” Hyuk smiled. Sensing everyone else’s confused expressions, he chuckled. “It’s a hidden marketplace for non-humans, goblins, witches, warlocks, ogres…”

“You mean those things were actually here all this time?! On this planet?!” Mingi gaped at him and they nodded.

“Okay, okay, we’ll have a lot of time to talk about that later, but let’s have the three of you take this new Danger Room for a test run?” Ino suggested. “The rest of you follow Junhong into the booth, we’ll all watch from there.”

“What are we taking on?” Mirae asked.

Hyuk approached the panels. “What about…” He stopped when he read the mode at the bottom. “Evil villain mansion? What kind of mode is that?” He laughed.

Chanyeol and Mirae laughed as well. Mirae glanced at the booth, giving a thumbs up to Yunho and San, who looked excited as did the rest of them. “It’s exactly what it is. The mansion of the bad guy,” Junhong said from the booth.

“Alright then, put up the difficulty rate to my name, I guess,” Mirae said.

“That’s what I had in mind. Initializing evil villain mansion, Lee Mirae difficulty,” Junhong announced.

Hyuk backed away, until he was back to back with Chanyeol and Mirae. They heard tiles shifting and a swirling of colors all around them, bringing in a strong gust of wind. Mirae took out her staff from her jacket pocket and extended it. After a few moments, the swirling was disappearing, and they found themselves in what was the ballroom of a large, abandoned house that had some bits of modern technology on the locks of the doors and the windows.

“Okay, so this is the evil villain mansion,” Chanyeol mumbled as they took in their surroundings. “Where’s the evil villain, then?”

Mirae took a step forward, seeing two metal circles near the large fireplace. There was a seven-pointed star engraved on one circle, a hexagon that had the shape of a keyhole in the middle engraved on the other. The circles began to turn, until it slowly went up to reveal coffin-shaped tubes.

“This is oddly specific,” She muttered.

Hyuk and Chanyeol stared at the tubes as well. The closer they looked, they saw bodies, blackened and as if they had been mummified. “This is very specific,” Chanyeol nodded, feeling a chill down his spine as they approached the tubes.

Back at the booth, the rest of them stared at what was happening. “Can they see us?” Jongho asked curiously.

“I don’t think they can, can they?” Hongjoong glanced at Junhong, who was looking at the panels of controls. “But the surroundings look so real.”

“I know I should be used to this, but this is something I’ve never seen before…” San was staring at the tubes that were opening up in front of the three.

“Me neither, and I thought I’ve seen everything,” Yunho nodded.

From the side of the room, Wooyoung could suddenly see flashes of scenes in his head. He looked back at what was happening, seeing Hyuk, Mirae, and Chanyeol nearly destroy the surroundings they were in as humanoid demons with large talons began to attack them. The flashes kept coming. He could see people he hadn’t seen before having been inside the very booth they were in. Yet, Wooyoung wasn’t sure if this had already happened or it was about to happen. He stayed watching the simulation that Mirae, Hyuk, and Chanyeol were in.

“Kind of familiar, isn’t it? The train station,” Mirae’s eyes and fingertips were glowing as she sent shockwaves towards the two demons, but to no avail. Instead, the demons clapped their hands, sending similar shockwaves towards her. “They’re parrots.”

“What do you mean parrots?” Chanyeol had transformed into his fire form, dodging the attacks that were coming towards him.

“They’re copying everything we do,” Mirae spun her staff a few times before hitting the demon, only to be sent back by the other, who had turned into a fiery figure as well.

“Can they copy this?” Hyuk waved his hand, sending the two demons in mid-air. His eyes widened when the figure also raised their claws at him, lifting him up and off the floor. “This is impossible-” He crashed into the wall, moving away when some of the decor fell down.

“Looks like Junhong had his work cut out for him,” Chanyeol tried to burn down the doors of the room until the surroundings changed into what looked like a massive dock full of zeppelins and tables full of volatile chemicals in test tubes and beakers. “Yeah, now I can see why Mirae turned into a level of difficulty.”

“Let’s try not to touch anything, or interact with anything on those tables,” Mirae looked around on alert.

They heard a blast from all the way on the other side of the room. “Looks like they found us,” Hyuk said, trying to move the zeppelins as carefully as possible towards the source of the blasts.

“Those might explode if you let them get blasted,” Chanyeol called out at the telekinetic.

“Would you rather we get out of here with those? We don’t even know what to use these for” Hyuk pointed out, still trying to move the airships as the blasts grew louder, the impact exploding the tables closest to it. “At least they get blasted and we don’t-”

Boom.

There was a blast on their side of the dock, sending the three of them to the floor, as bits of shrapnel and the chemicals on the tables exploded. A large cloud of smoke enveloped them, soon revealing that they were no longer at the dock. They were back in the Danger Room, or at least what was left of the Danger Room.

Mirae opened her eyes, feeling considerably beaten as she looked around, surprised at what she was seeing. Her clothes were scorched, her staff was gone, and from the gust of wind that hit her, she realized what happened.

The safehouse seemed to have exploded.

Mirae looked around for a sign of Chanyeol and Hyuk. Was she still in the simulation? “Mirae! Mirae! Mirae! Are you alright?” She turned around, seeing Junhong, Yunho, and Hongjoong run up to her. “The machines overloaded when I was about to take you three out of there,” The tech guy explained.

She nodded, a feeling of dread suddenly overcoming her as she looked around the area. “Chanyeol? Hyuk?” She called out, kicking away a few bits and pieces of the rubble that surrounded them. “Chanyeol-” She stopped, feeling her heart sink.

Chanyeol was lying on the floor, a puddle of blood near his head, and bits of shrapnel having hit his sides. Mirae looked around for a sign of the telekinetic, only to realize that he was also lying on the floor, eyes glazed over. A piece of shrapnel hit his head.

“Chanyeol, Hyuk,” Mirae bent down, moving the rubble away from her best friends. She refused to believe it, refused to think that what happened really happened. “Chanyeol, Hyuk,” She took one of the sharp rocks and cut open her wrist, pouring some of the blood into where Chanyeol was hit. “Come on, both of you, this isn’t funny,” She saw that they weren’t moving while her wrist had already healed.

Junhong bent down to check Hyuk’s pulse, only for his expression to fall when he realized there was none. “Mirae,” He tried to say.

“No, I know what you’re going to say, and I don’t believe you,” Mirae shook her head profusely, crawling up to Hyuk. Tears were already falling from her eyes as the reality was hitting her bit by bit. “No, no, this can’t happen, not here, not now, no,” She patted his face, but no response. “No, Hyuk, no, don’t, please-” A sob escaped her as she held his body. “Hyuk, no, no, no, no, no,” She sobbed, reaching out to hold Chanyeol’s hand that was going cold. “No, please no, Chanyeol, Hyuk, you two can stop it now, please…”

“Mirae,” Junhong said again.

Hongjoong and Yunho exchanged looks, hearing the rest of their colleagues including San appear, all of them had traces of the smoke from the explosion on them.

“No!” Mirae shook her head again, until she broke down. They were gone. Her best friends. Gone.

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pinkasrenzo · 4 years ago

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mid-year book freak out tag

ty for the tag @bloody-wonder! time to rant about books ayy

1. Best Book You've Read So Far in 2021?

It has to be This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone. Loved everything about it, the style the story (even if it did take me a while to understand what was going on) the characters the absolute yearning it was just. perfect.

But also The King’s Men by Nora Sakavic for a lot of reasons I still don’t really know how to put into words? I still need some time to process this series ig

2. Best Sequel You've Read So Far in 2021?

The Golden Yarn by Cornelia Funke, I’ve waited so long to read this and finally (fINALLY!) I did and it did not disappoint. The worldbuilding was just fantastic, loved how the mirror world geography/political asset was based on early 8th century history I’m so weak for this. Also I just,,, missed the mess that is Jacob Reckless so much my boy my precious son give him some fucking rest.

(And ofc honourable mention part 2 The Raven King by Nora Sakavic this book really was a gut punch)

3. New Release You Haven't Read Yet, But Want To?

The Silver Tracks by Cornelia Funke, I’ve been waiting for this book for like 5? years now? I just need to read this if only the English translation came out sooner hhhhhh

4. Most Anticipated Release For Second Half of 2021?

Leviathan Falls by James S.A. Corey which I’m also dreading cause it’s the last book of this series and I Do Not Want It To End I’m so not ready for it I know it’ll be so painful and I will cry and I am so worried for specifically One Character cause his story took A Turn already and I Am Fear.

Also Aristotle and Dante Dive Into the Waters of the World by Benjamin Alire Sáenz cause I was not expecting a sequel this year but !!!!! love those boys can’t wait to read about them again njhknjkhk

5. Biggest Disappointment?

Time’s Convert by Deborah Harkness, it did have good parts tbh but overall it was just Not Great. It was very slow paced and flat all around? I wanted Marcus’ backstory and I mean yeah its there but,,, Phoebe’s story was just so boring I liked her in the main trilogy and was interested when the book started with her POV but then she just,,, idk she could’ve been a great character with a new perspective on vampires but she just felt like Bella Swan 2.0 and I am not a fan. Also this book was just unnecessary long, the story was stretched out and went on for way more than it should have

6. Biggest Surprise?

Oh for sure All For the Game series by Nora Sakavic. I started it thinking “oh a fun and light read” but I was a fOOL I was Not expecting,,, anything? that’s in the series? went in thinking it was just another YA about sports and gays and maybe a bit trashy and got suckerpunched with mafia wars, the most sane and healthy relationship I’ve ever seen, great consent and boundaries talk, ace rep??? actually good ace rep?? best trauma handling ive seen in ages, got an existential crisis, started and solved a sexuality crisis (and sort ofa gender crisis i didn't know i had?), a few more personal realisations and honestly just,,, came out of it a complete and utter mess I finished it in April and I am still not over it I literally cannot physically start any other book I just keep going back to this series and its characters I,,, damn Nora

7. Favourite New Author?

I guess it’s pretty fair to say Nora Sakavic at this point

8. Newest Fictional Crush?

uh don’t really get fictional crushes?

9. Newest Favourite Character?

Oh man. I’m going to be predictable but Andrew Minyard and Neil Josten. I just,,, am so emotional about these two but also they’re so complex and multifaceted they’re honestly Great Characters and I’ll never get tired or reading/talking meta about them there’s so much to explore and say about them I’m !!!!!

Also all the foxes have a special place in my heart I love them all ç_ç

10. Book That Made You Cry?

Well of course All For the Game by Nora Sakavic was a rollercoaster I cried a lot for lots of different reasons I do talk about other things besides aftg usually I’m just having a moment ok but also The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid had me in tears, especially reading Harry’s part was,,, a lot. I had a feeling something was going to happen with/to him and then I read the subtitle for his chapter and. i just started crying and didn’t stop it was. yeah.

11. Book That Made You Happy?

Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes by Cory O’Brien, making fun of greek mythology never gets old lmao

Also! Didnt make me happy exactly (it was v painful) but I had the most fun reading The Maze Runner series by James Dashner after I put it off for so long (2021 is the year I’m catching up to YAs apparently) and it was just. you know when you read something and think “this author really did not have a plan uh”? That’s TMZ. I feel like Dashner wrote the first book and had this great idea about this maze and it’s brilliant honestly the first book is great but then,,, well he had to write two more right? And he had to get them out of the maze. And that’s when he realised he had to actually think about what was out of the maze, do some actual worldbuilding and fix his plot holes. And he Was Not Prepared For That. At All. like plot holes aside, some choices were just,,, why. Like the scene where Thomas is in that cafe and security goes “there’s an infected everyone evacuate”?? that’s nOT HOW YOU HANDLE AN AIRBORNE VIRUS JAMES (reading this during lockdown truly was an experience)

12. Favourite Book Adaptation You Saw This Year?

Uhh nothing yet but I want to watch And Then There Were None and I’m hYPED

13. Favourite Review You've Written This Year?

Bold of you to assume I write reviews

14. Most Beautiful Book You Bought So Far This Year?

Wanted to pick French back up so I got La Vie Suspendue and Les Yeux d’Elisha by Timothée de Fombelle in the omnibus edition and the cover is actually a map folded on itself and it’s double faced and when unfolded it’s hUGE it reaches to my knees?? Peak Design

15. What Books Do You Need To Read By The End of The Year?

Oh boy so many but I’m most hyped for:

An Unkindness of Ghosts by River Solomon cause nonbinary in space? Sign Me Up

Bunny by Mona Awad cause I’ve been promised batshit horror and I Am Here For It

the Grishaverse books by Leigh Bardugo cause 1) gay heist 2) fantastic worldbuilding 3) I refuse to watch the series and not read the books (also I’ve read lots of mixed reviews about it so ofc I need to know)

The 7 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton cause I do am weak for intricate time loops and impossible murder mysteries

All the Crooked Saints by Maggie Stiefvater cause I’ve yet to read anything by her and this seems like the right vibe to start with (also the cover is great)

tagging @theblackswanuniverse (I know you have opinions) @pollyna @novishu @butallmystars

#do yell at me about books pls #this was funnn #i do rant about aftg a bit much do i

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anika-ann · 5 years ago

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Anika-Ann’s Steve Rogers masterlist

( Other Characters Masterlists aka the main masterlist )

✔ marks finished (mini)series 🥰 fluff || 🥺 light angst || 😭 angst || 😘 light/implied smut || 🔥smut || ✨ significant AU - miniseries are fics up to 12k words (but know that the longest oneshot is around 13k so...) - stories are reader-inserts (perhaps OFC-ish) unless it’s stated otherwise - the newest stories are at the bottom of each section

✰ The Recipe for Love 🥰🥺 - In which Steve is the victim of your lacking cooking skills.

✰ Cold Feet 🥰 - In which your mission is to find flaws in a flawless man.

✰ Challenge Accepted…? 🥰 - In which Steve faces the consequences of his own dumbassery.

✰ A Matter of Trust 🥰 - In which Steve just has to trust you. - loosely follows Challenge Accepted...?

✰ Walpurgis Night ✨🥰🥺 - In which Steven volunteers to find a long-lost princess of Starkerbürg.(Fairy Tale AU)

✰ For a Smile 🥰 - In which smile can be everything.

✰ You Make My World Spin 🥰 - In which Tony gets kicks from spying on a love-struck hopeless idiot with a shield.

✰ Tall as the Skyline, Roots Like a Tree 🥺🥰 - In which Steve and Wanda help you to beat your phobia.

✰ A Cup of Truth 🥰 - In which you get threatened and drugged... and confessions are made.

✰ Homecoming 🥰 - In which you’re coming home to the sweetest boys in your life.

✰ State Your Name (for the Record) 🥺🥰 - In which Steve feels blue and you convince the team to do something nice for him.

✰ The Fall Tale (Of Fallen Leaves and Falling Dames) 🥰 - In which you jump into a pile of raked leaves and find it already occupied.

✰ The Winter Tale (Of Snowflakes, Hard Fallings and Soft Landings) 🥰 - In which Steve is late to take you out on a date, but it’s worth the wait. (sequel to The Fall Tale)

✰ Stockings 🥰 - In which Holiday is coming and you distract your boyfriend slash professor from work.

✰ In the Spotlight 🥰 - In which Tony pushes Steve into a photoshoot.

✰ 3+1 (Un)Wanted Mistletoe Encounters 🥰 - In which you hate the one Christmas tradition... until you don’t.

✰ Maybe (Honey)🔥😭 - In which you and Steve are dating, but money’s tight and you decide to earn some in questionable ways. Enter Andy Barber. (DARK-ish)

✰ One Door Closes...🥰 - In which one small Zoom mishap leads to an (un)usual ‘welcome home’.

✰ Just a Human 🥺🥰 - In which you’re a SHIELD recruit, you’re trained by Steve and Bucky and there are couple of a-holes in your class.

✰ Walk Me Home Tonight 🥺🥰 - In which you’re not in a partying mood and Steve offers to walk you home like the friend and gentleman he is.

✰ My Timid Hello, My Clumsy Goodbye 🥰 - In which it’s your last night of being a Barton, because the next day, you’ll lose your brother’s name in order to take Steve’s.

✰ Raindrops🥺🥰 - In which Steve isn’t a fan of the 21st century, but it might grow on him.

✰ Bullies, Bullied 🥺🥰 - In which little shit Steve takes on the bullies in the Avengers Tower and defends your honour.

✰ My War 😭 - In which Steve, your beloved Midgardian, is fatally wounded in battle, but you cannot let that be the end. (soulmate-ish AU)

✰ Stay (I’ll Keep You Warm) 🔥🥰 - In which you let your mouth loose on your honeymoon and Steve takes you up on your suggestion.

✰ Hold Onto Me🔥🥰 - In which you struggle with upper body strength and Steve is nothing but helpful.

✰ On Va Voir, Ma Chérie🔥🥰 - In which Steve is very helpful and reads you the book you need - in French.

✰ Ice Cream 🥰😘 - In which your day wasn’t great, Tony isn’t helping and your boyfriend is the best person in the world.

✰ In the Name of the King ✨🥰😘 - In which you, a maid of Princess Maria, fall for Knight Steven - and vice versa. (Medieval/Fantasy AU)

✰ In the Name of All That’s Holy ✨🔥🥰 - In which your husband, Knight Steven, neglects his marital duties.... until he doesn’t. (sequel to In the Name of the King)

✰ In the Name of Blood ✨🥺🥰 - In which there is an intruder with nefarious intentions in the walls of the castle and no one is safe from him. No one. (sequel no.2)

✰ Bad Habit 😭 - In which Steve Rogers has a terrible habit of always being late. Will it be too late for you (two) too?

✰ Look Out 🥰 - In which you get punched because you got distracted and Steve is not amused... until he is.

✰ Fought the World (for Your Hand) 🥰 - In which the Accords are being revised, you are back, but not everything is as it used to be. Except for having Steve. (H/C)

✰ Hot Boy Summer 🥰😘 - In which you chill by the private Avengers’s pool and ogle your show-off of a boyfriend.

✰ Pomiluj mě (Love Me Tender) ✨🥰🔥 - In which Knight Steven Rogers helps a common lady in distress and not everything is as it seems.

✰ Očaruj mě (Bewitch Me) ✨🥰🔥 - In which Knight Steven Rogers has trouble saying no to you and does not mind one bit - quite the opposite. (sequel to Pomiluj mě)

✰ Ochraňuj mě (Protect Me) ✨🥺🥰 (two parts) - In which Knight Steven Rogers and his witch must risk it all in hopes to be together freely, at last.

✰ Mine, Yours, Ours ✨🥰🔥 - In which Knight Steve comes home to his wife and child and there’s a new onging in his heart.

✰ The (Un)Expected ✨🥺🥰 - In which you meet your soulmate for the first time and he’s not what you expected... and vice versa. (soulmate AU)

✰ Sweet and Ours, Tonight 🥰 🔥 - In which you and Steve had a long week apart, so you might as well end it with a bang.

✰ Counting Daisies 🥰 - In which you ask yourself the important question... or maybe you ask the flowers instead.

✰ Restless Hearts 🥰🔥 - In which you nd Steve missed each other and the first time you meet after a week in at a gala.

✰ Caught 🥰 - In which your roommate and close friends helps you warm up after you got caught in a rain.

✰ Thirst for Life (As It Is) 🥰🔥 - In which you take care of Steve... and he takes care of you.

✰ Blanket Kingdom 🥺🥰 - In which you had a bad day and Steve makes it his mission to make it better.

✰ Traditions Kept (5+1) ✔ 🥺🥰 - In which Christmas traditions are a blessing and a curse.

✰ The Line between Respectful and Stupid ✔🥺🥰 - In which your recruited self walks a fine line.

✰ Lessons in Rule-breaking ✔🥺🥰 - In which you let in a visitor after hours and face the consequences.

✰ No Apologies Needed ✔ 🥺🥰 - In which you kiss a stranger and it goes downhill real quick.

✰ Ground Rules (for Love and War) ✔🥺🥰 - In which Bucky and Sam make your life harder than you signed up for.

✰ In the Strangest Place (We Just Might Find Love) ✔🥺🥰 - In which you run into someone while hiding in a closet from your sleazy boss.

✰ Nothing but the Truth ✔🥺🥰 - In which you agree to fake-dating to catch a criminal.

✰ Grease and Pearls ✔ 🥺(😭)🥰🔥 - In which an Uptown Girl meets a downtown man. Go figure.

✰ Attached ✔? ✨🔥🥺😭🥰 - In which you sent an inappropriate e-mail to your professor about another professor. (extras being added irregularly)

✰ Melting Hearts ✔ 🥺😭🥰 - In which your icy heart melts - you just have to figure out for who. - Instalments: ① ② ③ ④ ⑤ (ocassionaly ft Daredevil)

✰ Errare Humanum Est ✔ 🥺😭🥰🔥✨ - In which you find your soulmate and it turns out better than expected. - Instalments: ① ② ③ ④ ; 3 and 4 ft.Supernatural

✰ His Lucky Charm (in progress) 🥺🥰🔥 - In which you’re Steve’s girlfriend and a bit of his personal lucky charm

✰ In the Name of Duty ✔✨🥰🔥🥺 - In which you fall in love with Knight Steven and maybe he feels the same. - Instalments: ① ② ③

✰ Love on the Brain ft.Criminal Minds ✔ (sequels in making) 🥺🥰🔥 - In which Steve has a stalker and the former BAU agent is determined to keep him safe...with a help of some friends.

✰ Back and Forth (in progress) 😭🥰 - In which you and Steve are like fire and ice - but maybe you aren’t and you’re finally forced to work through your issues.

✰ Seven Minutes* - part one / two ✔ 🔥🥺🥰 - In which you and Steve end up in a closet at the Avengers’s Halloween party and certain... things happen

✰ A Series of (Un)Fortunate Events - part one / two * ✔ 🥰🔥 - In which a few things go wrong on a camping trip but it might not be a bad thing - because you have Steve.

✰ Do I Wanna Know? (coming...one day...maybe) - In which soulmates share the same skills and yours are... peculiar to say at least.

✰ Think Again (When You Stop Freaking Out) - no pairing ✔ 🥰 - In which Steve wakes up in Matt Murdock’s body and vice versa. No smut is involved, just a bodyswap. Yay.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

#masterlist #anika ann #steve rogers fanfiction #captain america fanfiction #marvel #mcu #fanfiction #fanfic #steve rogers #captain america #steve rogers x reader #avengers fanfiction #steve rogers masterlist #steve rogers imagine #captain america x reader #steve rogers x you #captain america x you #captain america imagine

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sandsofoneiros · 4 years ago

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*I don't own any images above. Found them on pinterest.

Disclaimer: It’s finally here! It’s been kicking my ass for weeks but I finally have it ready for you guys! I know nothing about ships and sailing so please don’t hate me! There's so many references in this chapter and I wonder if you can pick up on them! Let me know if you do and your thoughts! I also finally got to use my moodboard! I also tried something new with ending and beginning that I got from one of my favorite authors. Let me know what you think!

Pairing: Poe Dameron x OFC.

Warning: We have a lot. It gets angsty towards the end. Mentions of an anxiety attack, grief mention, and we do have a character death. Some blood is mention. Emotions are every where for these kiddos. I tried to tag everything just be cautious reading the third months. Cursing

Read chapter two here!

Tagging: @thembohux and @booksmusicteaandanimals

Chapter Three: The Privateer.

Months before. . . . .

To some, he was still a boy. Seventeen did not make one a man, and he knew that as he trekked up the snowy hill. The kingdom is known for its harsh terrain and even more ruthless queen. However, the boy wasn’t intimidated. His hood obscured his identity to those around him, and that’s how it would remain until he was facing her. The boy had an offer for the ice queen. An offer that would blossom in time and would contribute to them both, or that’s what he assumed would happen. The bitter wind cut at his cheeks and nose as he went on. He had been on this journey for what seemed like years, but it had hardly been a week; he was losing count of the days. The only thing that mattered was his offer being accepted. This new powerful alliance could be formed. He could hardly wait, and that gave him the last push to get over that hill. For a moment, he paused at the top, looking over the kingdom that was practically camouflaged by the snow. The rumor was that this kingdom had no proper ruler and was run by the most feared individual that asserted dominance. One that the others thoroughly respected. The neighboring kingdoms had always perceived it as unusual. However, the queen of this land had held it in her clutches longer than anyone. The boy was hoping to extend and expand her reign tonight.

In another kingdom, a prince and his father quarreled more and more each day. The tension becomes too much for each of them. The father had sought to end his son’s dreams of adventure and each day he felt his son slipping further and further away. He would venture into the town and come home later with the patrol guards surrounding him. The boy hung around the harbors and taverns, lingering to see if he could slip away with someone or some crew. However, they were promptly told who the boy was and what would take place if they were to leave with him. This kingdom did everything to look after their beloved prince, despite his attempts to break free. The prince was ready to leave this forsaken place and forget his title. He didn’t wish to spend another summer visiting a princess that he didn’t wish to wed. He didn’t want to be told what to do. He wished to be like his mother and explore. The boy only wanted freedom. Freedom to do what would make him happy and not those around him. His anger had led him to another bar, but this time a crew had taken an interest in him. A mysterious girl not older than him had enticed him to accompany her on the sea, and he had never felt more freedom than when he took her hand.

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First month.

Sixteen years old.

She couldn’t accept what the King declared. It was too shocking to even thoroughly comprehend and prayed that this was some trick that Poe was playing. Kes’s haggard appearance was the only thing that told her it wasn’t. Poe had finally done it. He had sought freedom and had gotten taken instead. Kes continued, telling them he wasn’t certain Poe had gotten captured or left freely. The owner of the bar gave one explanation of the story while the people gave another. Kes had been late for getting there to stop the prince. She could see that weighed on his mind heavily, and she couldn’t fault him. Ro had become lost in her mind until Ignis touched her shoulder.

“Princess?” Kes’s voice was low as he observed her. Standing by to see what would take place. Ro hadn’t even heard the question and instead peered at her father before Ignis. This was their first time escorting her to Yavin. Queen Eirlys wasn’t in good health and declined the visit. Moreso, her spouse declared to her, he would take her place this year. Her mom was ill back in Cianna and had been for the entire year. The summer had been the worst of the year. Ro would watch as the woman would fake a smile and make herself do her duties. Her father did everything he could to lessen all the Queen’s duties, but she would scold him. Her mom had insisted that Ro come to Yavin and be with the prince. She didn’t need to be staying with the sick queen. Now, she stood before the Kes and heard how Poe wasn’t even here. He didn’t know where his son was or when the boy would return. This summer was becoming one that she wanted to forget.

“These are challenging times, your highness. My mother is unwell and Poe is missing. It would seem that we are all being tried.” Her voice wavered as she struggled to speak. The poor young woman could feel more cracks developing in her walls. How long would they hold up? How long could she be strong? Pushing her lips into a thin line, she took a minute to gather herself once more. “The kingdom of Cianna will support you, King Kes. I’m confident we can find Prince Poe. My mother would want us to put the prince first and that’s what we’re going to do. Da, send word to Cianna, and let’s get as many as we can spare. I know a privateer that can benefit us. We might need to get our hands dirty, gentlemen.”

Her head was high as she communicated to all of them. None of them expected her to develop a strategy and issue orders. They could see she would not let this go, it was personal for her. For a minute, Jaqen saw nothing but his wife radiating through his oldest daughter. A smile found its way to his face, and he felt pride as he stepped somewhat back, letting Ro have the floor. Ignis followed Jaqen’s lead and let the princess have the floor.

“I will meet with the privateer and get us a ship along with more company. I presume we’ll want to leave as soon as possible. King Kes, I propose packing up.”

Kes couldn’t stop the grin that set across his face. It took him back to the first time he met Aurora. How shy she was. Now she stood before him and took charge of finding his son. Oh, she would make an admirable queen one day. He could see that with no problem.

“I believe you’re right, Princess Aurora. We’re wasting valuable time, gentlemen. Let’s plan to leave by the end of the week.”

“I’ll send for Cianna’s finest.” Her father bowed to Kes.

“Ignis, I need you to accompany me to the city. I need to speak with someone in town.”

Ro didn’t waste any time as she left the throne room, leaving them all in admiration. Her head held high as she left. Her legs brought her to the spot of Poe’s favorite tree. A tree that Kes and Shara had planted when she was alive. Her lip wobbled as she battled back tears. Her knees swayed as she pressed her back to the tree and slid down the trunk. Not caring that it could ruin her dress or possibly scrape her. No, she needed to get her emotions out for the few moments that she had alone. Her shoulders shook as the emotions took over. Why would he leave? Last summer it seemed that he was ready. Evidently, it had been nothing more than a honeyed speech. Her mind advised her he wouldn’t have just left. Her heart told her he loved her, but her gut declared both of them were wrong. Her gut instructed her that when she found him she would never want to see him again.

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Zireael watched as the men loaded up her ship for this job. A job that she wasn’t sure that she wanted in the first place but the reward would be worth it. The reward always made it worth it. Griff stood beside her as they waited on the King of Yavin to join them. Both of them had already decided only one noble could be on this ship. The princess and her guard would only cause more trouble. However, the Ciannaian longboats did make them feel a little more relieved. Numbers would help them given who they had to track down. This prince had gotten wrapped up with the Kijimi Fleet. A fleet that no one dared cross along with their kingdom. How someone could do something so reckless was beyond her but all these princes and princesses were always doing something bothersome. She tapped her boot while her arms crossed over her chest. They were losing time and that was something she hated.

“Calm down, we have plenty of days left to sail.” Chuckling, he ruffled her raven locks and put her hat back down. It wasn’t uncommon for her to lose patience.

“Days? We have three months to find the prince or it was all for nothing.” She spoke as she swatted his hand away from her hair.

“I don’t see why she doesn’t marry the guard. He looked positively love-struck. . .”

“Probably for the same reason why I don’t marry you, Griff. Her heart belongs to another.”

They both shared a look before someone cleared their throat. It was the King of Yavin. He offered them a slight smile and wave before putting his bag down. It was only one bag, and that took Zireael by surprise. She guessed that he would have packed more, but less was always better. The King of Cianna remained beside him as they spoke their goodbyes. He gave her and Griff a knowing look before bowing his head to them.

“Careful on the seas. All of you.”

“Of course, your highness. I’m sure we’ll sing songs and become closer with each passing day.”

Zireael bowed to both the fathers before nodding to the ship. It was time to leave, and she was aching to get out on the sea. The gulls were crying above them, and the sun was high. It was an excellent day. She couldn’t have asked the maker for a more perfect day for them to sail the ocean. Griff had started the climb up the ramp to the deck to speak with everyone about what they would be doing. He was her second in command and no one ever challenged him. They didn’t want to face her wrath.

Kes held his arm out for her to take as they made their climb. “How certain are you that we will find him? There are plenty of uncharted territories out there.” The privateer merely smirked at his question. She wasn’t even certain if they would recover the prince, but he was a dad missing his only son. “I’m positive that we will find him and more, your grace. Don’t you fret.” Once they were on the deck, she brought the king to the commander’s quarters. She wasn’t certain what this job had in store for them, but the least she could do was make sure that Kes was comfortable while he traveled with them. It would be a lengthy three months if the man had to sleep on the bunks down below. There would not be much to do today other than plan out her course.

Her quarters were her sanctuary for the time. Flipping through the pages of her journal, she started studying the statements that she had gathered from the night the prince had fled. She needed a lead. All she knew was that he had got tied up with the Kijimi Fleet, and she wasn’t familiar with their routes. She needed to figure out where they would go next. Rubbing at her temples, she recorded where they could hit and where they had hit. She had to find that pattern. It was there somewhere. They would stop at the next port and ask around there. They would not spend too long searching ports and towns. No, they didn’t have time.

A knock rang through her quarters, and her eyes stared at the door. She didn’t want to let them in. Fixing her hair, she almost didn’t recognize herself as she passed the mirror to open the door. Grinning, she took in the sight of Kes. A charming man. It was no wonder his people loved him and his son.

“You look like you could use some fresh air. There looks to be a party on deck and I don’t think it’s fair that you’re working.”

“Well, I wouldn’t be an excellent captain if I let them have all the fun, would I?”

Kes chuckled with the young woman. She was no older than his son. Yet, she was a privateer that was managing this job and ensured that she would find his son. She had plenty of individuals under her to command and they all respected her. They looked at her for guidance. A leader. However, one looked at her as if it would be the last time. Griff stared at her as if he was seeking to seize her for himself. It made Kes uneasy.

Zireael beamed as she listened to the familiar music and moved behind a few of them. She wasn’t feeling much for dancing. Hoisting herself onto the railing, she searched through the leather pouch that settled at her hip. Plucking out her long pipe, tobacco, and arranging it, she gladly placed it between her lips. Blowing the smoke out her nose made a grin as Griff shook his head at her.

“Does your mother know you do that?” The king asked, while she snickered. Glancing over at him, a playful twinkle in her eyes.

“Who do you think taught me, your grace?”

Their laughter weaved in with the rest of the crew’s. This was the calm before the storm. They wouldn’t always have nights like this where they could rest easy and be cheerful. No, this was a treat, and they all realized that. She let herself sing some songs with them, clapped as they danced, but she hadn’t truly let herself join in completely. It wasn’t until Kes took her hand to join in the dance that she allowed herself. Griff had been the next to spin her around on the deck. The crowd shouted loudly as they watched their captain join in. They all recognized how much this job meant to her and how much she desired the reward. They knew she wouldn’t fail, and they would not let her. She took care of them, and they took care of her. It was as simple as it could get. Zireael was a name just as feared as the Kijimi Fleet. It was recognized but shrouded in mystery. That was the way she intended to keep it. Always keep them guessing, and they might respect her enough to stay out of the way.

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Poe leaned over the rail of the ship, scanning for any sea creatures that might reveal themselves. This was the furthest that he had ever been from Yavin, and he was buzzing with excitement. Sure, the crew was still watchful of him, but that never discouraged his mood. He was constantly ready to prove himself to them. Zorii had vouched for him back in Yavin and he wanted to make sure that he lived up to whatever she had told them. He needed to see more, and it wasn’t long before he hurried up to the crow’s nest. Poe adored being that high up and staring out onto the horizon. The prince would spread his arms out and just enjoy the breeze. It was his favorite spot on the entire ship. Other than beside the fearless young woman who had swept him off his feet. The young woman that wanted adventure just like him. She was a little cold the first few weeks, but she had come around. Now, she was constantly reminding the others how valuable he really was.

“Dameron! What are you looking at up there?” Her voice called as she studied him. Her hand over her eyes to shield it from the sun. He just waved at her to come up with him, which she did with some reluctance. They had been sailing with each for weeks now, and Poe recognized something was flourishing between them. The prince had wanted this with Aurora, but it never unfolded. She had suggested once that she would wait on him, but he knew she might not. He couldn’t blame her. They were children that got forced into something that they didn’t want. He felt she was more than thrilled that he had left. Yet, his mind drifts back to last summer and those spoken feelings.

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Second month.

It was all getting to them. It was hardly the second month of their journey, but they were all suffering the effects. Even Zireael was becoming tired of being on her ship, and she longed to feel solid ground again. Stepping out on the deck and leaning over the rail, she stared at the water below them. It always gave her some sort of relief, even though she was missing the feel of grass between her toes. The breeze swept through her hair as the crew continued working around her. They had been putting extra work in since some storms had blown them off course a few times. She was proud of them and needed to remind them she was. Her thumb rubbed at the silver ring on her thumb as she thought of some reward that she could give them.

“You’re quiet this afternoon, everything alright?” Griff asked. Zireael couldn’t help but note the small braid that had made itself known. Reaching out, she carefully tugged his umber braid.

“I’ve been considering stopping at the next port and letting everyone go enjoy themselves. It seems we’ve all grown tired of the waves below. I could undoubtedly use a hot bath. . .” She grinned before studying her own hair. Fingers working through tangles without even a whimper.

“There’s one not too far from here. A night off the ship might restore our energy for the rest of the journey.”

xxxx

Freshly scrubbed and accompanying her crew, Zireael laughed at their stories that they were sharing with others. The hood of her cloak was up as she rested in the back with her pipe between her lips. Letting the smoke swirl flow from her lips as she listened to her crew enjoy themselves. It was a sight to behold as a man with brown hair sang in the corner. Some of them had requested him to sing a jig instead of the sad song he had opened with. Zireael hummed the words as she lifted her tankard every once in a while. It had been too long since she had gotten to unwind. The king had wanted to enjoy the night sleeping in an actual bed after his own bath. For once they could forget about finding this rebellious prince and the Kijimi Fleet. She could let herself breathe for just a night. Something she hadn’t done since she set foot on that ship. Zireael hadn’t even bothered to ask anyone here if they knew about the prince or the fleet. It was a distant memory and would be until tomorrow morning when they set off again.

xxxxx

Walking into the tavern, Poe wasn’t ready for the boisterous voices that sing off key, but they were lively. The song tells of throwing coins to some hero from what Poe took of it. Zorii had shoved him into a booth in the back and provided the roughness of the shove; she wasn’t overly pleased with him. They hadn’t been getting along very well recently and he couldn’t stop thinking about home. He also couldn’t stop thinking about her. He wondered how much she had changed since he had seen her. How many braids had she gained? He dreamed of his fingers traveling over patterns of the plaits. He imagined undoing her plaits and his fingers combing through those strands. Would he ever see her again? He couldn’t afford to think like that when Zorii was around. She had taken notice of how he changed when he was in deep thought. It led to questions and more confrontation between them. She never appreciated hearing his answers. Exhaling, he searched the tavern as everyone sang heartily with the drinks in their hands. He hadn’t seen a sight like this in so long. He missed moments like this, but Zorii was simply using this to put him in a good mood. This was the first time that he had even left the ship in two weeks. It had been a punishment when he had stopped her from hurting someone who he felt was honest. She wasn’t pleased with him. She still wasn’t, and her actions confirmed it more and more.

His eyes paused on a figure that rested diagonally across from them. They were sitting with their hood up and a long pipe between their lips. Squinting, he could make out some details, but not enough. It wasn’t until one of their crew, or who he guessed was their crew, pulled the hood down. Her long raven hair lay over her shoulder as she smacked at them before pulling the hood back up. The table rocked as Zorii practically slammed their drinks on the table, the liquid spilling over the rim.

“Everything alright?” He asked, but his brown eyes continued watching over her shoulder to the enigmatic young woman. She rested with one leg draped over the edge of the table and the other stretched out, with her foot resting in the chair. Smoke escaping either the corner of her lips or her nostrils. She didn’t look older than him and Zorii.

“It’s fine, Poe. It’s just loud in here.”

She wasn’t mistaken about that, but he embraced the songs and dance of the other company that was here. He speculated on what they were pleased about. Maybe it was just being off the ship like he was. Poe wished to meet them, but that would only annoy Zorii more. Their relationship was constantly tethering on good and just awful. One minute she was applauding him for something and the next scolding him like a child. It was disheartening. When he first met her, he was drawn to her. She had taken him away from Yavin, had shown adventure that he never could have envisioned, but it wasn’t all roses. It was darker than he ever thought. There was another side of the world that his father had sought to protect him from. The thought of his father made him close his eyes. He missed his papa more than he could say. What was he doing right now? How much resentment did his papa have? Would his papa even wish to see him again? It weighed massively on his mind. He asked each day that he would see his papa soon.

Getting a sip of his drink, he watched as the mystery young woman smoked her pipe. He couldn’t figure out why he was so taken by her. Could it be because her crew was cheerful and dancing around their little area? Poe couldn’t say for sure. A sigh escaped Zorii’s lips, and he lifted a brow at her. She must have wanted his attention. Above her top lip, she had gathered a bit of foam from her drink.

“You have something on your lip.”

He looked away once more as she wiped her mouth. He watched as the other got up from her chair to go to the counter and he was already moving, leaving behind a confused Zorii. Nudging his way through the sea of bodies and smacking into a very built man with silvery hair. The man stood silently before Poe murmured an apology and moved around him. However, the young woman was back in her chair and another had scooted in beside her. He had missed his chance. Poe frowned before discovering a vacant seat at the bar and promptly taking it for himself. Maybe the owner would know something about her. He just needed to get the man to talk. Poe did his best to get a better glimpse at the curious young woman, but someone invariably got in the way. A snicker from the barkeep caused his head to snap up.

“It looks like Zireael has captured your eye.”

“Is that her name? Zireael? Where’s she from?”

“Not much is known about her and her crew. They are highly respected wherever they travel. They don’t create trouble with others and frequently are the ones stopping the trouble.” The man responded while he wiped down the counter. He had a name now. Zireael. It varied from anything he had heard before, but it suited her.

“She doesn’t look like much.” Zorii sneered as she took a seat on the vacant stool beside Poe. He had speculated how long it would take for her to follow him, and she had set a record for five minutes. Zorii would never let him out of her sight for too long, anyway. Even during their job earlier, Zorii wouldn’t let him do anything other than hold the goods. Even that was something that she didn’t want him doing.

“Looks can be deceiving.” He retorted without glancing at Zorii. Zorii had deceived him. She wasn’t what he expected when they first met, and neither was the world beyond Yavin. She had been beautiful to him then, inside and out. However, she had a very unique nature. Zorii could be ruthless with upholding the Kijimi kingdom. This was her way of life, and Poe wasn’t certain if he even fit in with it. He was repeatedly working to persuade her that there had to be another alternative in situations that didn’t call for such vicious measures. He felt he was getting through to her. Later the next day she would go back to the old Zorii. He didn’t wish to give up hope on her. He genuinely thought that maybe he could show her a fresh perspective than what she had known.

“I wouldn’t mess with Zireael and her crew.” A gruff voice uttered, and Poe looked at the owner. The silver-haired man in black leather who looked like he could easily defeat anyone in this bar. The man grunted before he made his way back to a table where two others sat. A dark-haired woman and the young man who had been singing earlier. For such a broad man to claim that made Poe curious to learn more about this Zireael. However, he feared Zorii would let him get any closer.

“I’m sure she wouldn’t dare mess with the Kijimi Fleet!” Zorii made certain that her tone rose above everything. It didn’t matter that they still were trying to keep Poe’s identity hidden. That was always the major priority when they came into any town. It didn’t matter how far away they were from Yavin. There was always a risk. None of them were positive if they were being followed still or not. It wasn’t something that they were eager to risk.

His heart was pounding as he watched Zorii, then over to Zireael. Silence settled over the tavern, and no one dared to speak. Zireael’s crew had gathered around their leader and stood by to see what this stranger would do. They were outnumbered, and Poe wasn’t sure how unforgiving Zireael was. He had gotten no claims about that. Even the trio in the very back sat watching to see what would transpire. It became clear to Poe at that moment that everyone here respected this young woman. They had no support or allies here.

“Drop it, Zorii Wynn.” Poe grabbed her forearm and sought to draw her away from any sort of argument with the other. This wouldn’t end well for anyone involved. Zorii had pulled her arm out of his grasp and crossed the way to where the hooded woman remained. She hadn’t even acknowledged Zorii in the slightest. Her head had tilted up to blow smoke out as Zorii cleared her throat. The suspense grew between both of the young women, but the brown-haired girl didn’t take another step. Zireael’s crew circled her, and a taller male stood to her right, daring her to take another step.

“Anything to say, Zireael?” Zorii asked with an air of confidence that Poe wasn’t positive that she should have at this moment. He usually adored when she got bold, but this was something that was asking for more trouble. He gulped as watched from behind given that.The chair scraped against the floor as Zireael rose and faced Zorii. The smug smirk on her lips would not remain much longer. Or that’s what everyone guessed. Her hand lifted to stop her crew from taking another step, and they bowed to her. Then she made a fist, and they went to their seats once more. She didn’t even have to speak a word to them! Poe was in awe of that. Striding across the small distance in front of Zorii, sucked in the smoke from the pipe and held it. Puckering her lips, she blew the smoke beside Zorii’s face before she spoke.

“Sit down, girl. My crew is resting and you have no friends here. I won’t entertain you.”

Zorii had turned her head from the smoke before Poe grabbed her arm and tugged her back. Spotting the small wave Zireael gave him before she moved back to her seat. They had evaded another fight. Without even glancing back at Zorii, he pulled her out of the tavern, recognizing this was his chance to avoid a needless quarrel. He didn’t care that Zorii was yelling at him, she had everything under control. He was fighting the impulse to run back into that tavern and plead for Zireael to let him accompany her or help him get home. Poe was having to fight himself as he hastened his pace to the docks. He needed to put distance between him and that place as quickly as possible.

“She was part of the Kijimi Fleet!” Griff whispered firmly as he slipped into the chair in front of Zireael. Her hood had fallen down and her hand gingerly touched her neck, seeking something. The action led to him to glare, but they had just picked up a lead without meaning to. She had already given two of her women the order to follow Zorii and the stranger that was with her. This was a serious lead in their job, and she was going to see that it didn’t slip away. Poe was close. Closer than she could even imagine.

“I heard. We can’t follow them just yet. We aren’t sure who all is with them and we need to see what the king wishes to do. Don’t rush this, Griff. We need to be careful before we strike.”

Zireael didn’t dare try to rush this, and was going to make sure that they had everything before proposing a strike. They had to see what Kes wished to do before they really acted. Her command went far. But this was his son. She wouldn’t overstep her bounds with that.

“Let’s rest for the night, and when the others come back, we can plan with Kes. I don’t want to raise any alarm. They might have slipped up once but they won’t do it repeatedly.”

With that, Zireael rose up and made her way out of the tavern. Passing by the table where the trio sat, she placed a pouch of coins on their table and patted the back of the silver-haired man.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Third month

They had been tracking the Kijimi Fleet for days. Waiting for the perfect time to seize and board their main ship. Kes remained to her right, and Griff on her left. Zireael felt proud of herself. Everything had fallen into place, and it was time to collect their reward. Ever since that night in the tavern, when she had the pleasure of encountering that girl, she had followed them. She had kept distance not to create any suspicion. It was all about to pay off.

“Zireael, you’ve done it.” Kes grasped her shoulder while the young privateer smirked. Had there ever been any doubt? She was young, but she always got the job done. This had just been another job for her, and she was about to close the deal.

“Don’t tell me that my pretty face made you consider I wouldn’t.” The ravenette chuckled while both the men snorted. However, there was one question that all of them but no one wanted to ask. “Your highness, do you think your boy will return with us?”

Just asking made her feel as if she had taken all the joy and happiness from the moment. This was something that she needed to acknowledge before she communicated with the leader and got near the prince. There were a plethora of challenges that could go down when they got on the main ship. Maybe the prince wasn’t even on the ship. Maybe they had taken him elsewhere and led them on a chase just to shake them off the trail. It wasn’t uncommon for that to happen.

“I - I can only hope that he does.”

That wasn’t the answer that any of them wanted, but it was the best that he could give them. There was the biggest possibility that Poe wouldn’t come with them, and all of this would be for nothing. Poe could run to them and give thanks that his father had come for him. Either way, they were all intimidated by how the leader would handle everything. They could create an unnecessary fight, and that could lead to something more fatal. There were too many risks for Zireael’s liking and with each one coming to mind provoked her to grind her teeth.

Her eyes lifted to the sky, and another obstacle rose. The ominous storm clouds were rolling in. Time was now of the essence, and she could curse all the deities in the world for this. They needed to catch up now or they would waste their chance.

“Let’s hope this storm holds off and let’s pray your boy has a moment of clarity.”

xxxxxxx

“They have been pursuing us for days, Zorii! We don’t even know who they are!” Marinda groaned as they all sat in Zorii’s cabin. Everyone was on edge and had been since they learned they were being tracked. They weren’t even certain who was following them, but everyone assumed it was because of the prince. Poe scratched at the awkward stubble growing on his face and simply shrugged his shoulders. Even he wasn’t sure who it was or could be. Did he wish it was his father and company coming to save him? Yes, but he didn’t think anyone would track him for this long. It had been three months since he had last been in Yavin, three months since he had seen his father, and Ro. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but he missed her. He missed their simple summers together. What would they have done this summer in Yavin? She would have made him go to the water gardens with her. He would have teased her for not being able to reach any of the fruit that grew from the trees. He would scold her about forgetting her shoes on the way back to the castle. Although he would smile as he carried her on his back to the castle.

“Poe? Poe!” Zorii snapped her fingers in front of his face and he jumped slightly. Had he actually been that deep in his thoughts? That perhaps wasn’t the best thing to do during this meeting that they were having. Everyone was already blaming him as it was, and this didn’t make it any better.

“Could you repeat that?” He asked, working a hand through his unruly curls to move them from his forehead.

“Do you have any idea who they might be? Zorii asked with obvious irritation in her tone. He didn’t seem to care at this point. Zorii claimed his hands were just as stained as hers now. He was part of the Kijimi Fleet and always would be. She had even informed him that if his father found out that they would never welcome him home. Part of him absolutely believed her. He wasn’t a prince. Not in his eyes anymore.

“No, I don’t. They don’t have any colors that would link them to Yavin or Naboo.” Poe deliberately left out Cianna. That kingdom probably never wanted him to show his face again. It was probable that they had even declined to support Kes with any sort of expedition to find him. He could hardly imagine what Ro was going through. When he had first left, he considered she might be ecstatic and reveling in her freedom. But that wasn’t the case now. He thought of her telling him she would wait. Was she waiting for him right now? Or was she grieving, like Ignis had envisioned? He imagined Ignis was proud of himself after receiving the news. He had presumably swooped in to save the day. To mend her broken heart. There was that jealous feeling once again. He didn’t want Ignis anywhere near Ro. Yet there was little he could do now. He was miles away and he would never see home again.

There was still the thought of the young woman from that tavern. She differed from Zorii and Ro. Maybe he could find her again and join her company. She seemed far more respected by her crew than Zorii. Her crew feared her, and Poe wasn’t sure how he felt about that. There was a significant difference between being feared and being respected. He wanted that night at the tavern to have gone much differently. Poe wished he had left with the other, but that was a fading memory. He was with the Kijimi Fleet now, and he needed to accept that.

“Fine, let them catch up, and we’ll let them come on board. We’ll have a surprise for them when they do.”

The prince shivered at Zorii’s words. He didn’t need to ask what she meant or what she had arranged. He already knew, and this was going to be another test for him to prove his loyalty to them and hold his sickness down until after the ordeal.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It should have been a red flag when they neared the fleet’s main ship. Zireael ignored her gut instinct, though. This was certainly their moment, and she would not miss it. They had previously established that Kes would remain on their ship. It was much too risky to have the king with them. If they came back with no prince and a king barely hanging on by a thread, the entire kingdom of Yavin would make them pay. The ships were parallel, and she expected to meet the captain, but got approached by the brunette from the tavern. There was no way.

“Well, I can’t believe I’m facing you again. I’ll make this brief. King Kylo of Naboo is searching for a fugitive and I’m under his orders to investigate any vessel that I come across.” Zireael called out as she stepped onto the railing of her ship, Griff standing beside her as another stood beside the brunette.

“The king of Naboo has no say in this far out on the sea, but I will allow it. Make it quick.”

That should have been her first cue not to do it, but victory was in her clutch. Nothing else mattered in this moment to her. Nothing. They set the plank across to allow her and Griff to walk across. Her crew followed them. One false step and it was all over. The Kijimi crew offered no joy at seeing them on board and glared the minute that their boots touched the deck.

“I didn’t catch your name that night.” Zireael spoke as she readjusted her navy blue overcoat and held out her hand to Zorii. At least the ravenette was doing her best to appear civil to Zorii. She realized that the young woman didn’t want to even see at all. The eyes of her crew were burning into her and Griff’s forms. It didn’t matter to them. They were about to close another job, and that was all that mattered. Somewhere on this ship Prince Poe was hiding, but now it was time for him to come home.

“Zorii Wynn, I’m the captain of this ship.” She grasped Zireael’s forearm, and both of the women felt for any weapon that could be on the other. Convinced that they felt nothing on the other, they released their grip and gave each other a forced smile. Now it was time to investigate. She believed she hadn’t given Zorii any reason to suspect her purpose for being here. She believed that this wouldn’t take too long and that it would be an easy recovery, but she was ready either way. Giving the signal, Griff started below deck while she took the top. They could cover more of the ship this way and this would throw Zorii off the actual trail. She wouldn’t know who to follow. Without lingering on Zorii, the ravenette examined the deck and looked through anything that could hide someone. She investigated every crevice and cranny before she started on her way to the captain’s quarters. However, she noted Zorii was now trailing her, and that raised another flag to her. Zorii was hiding something.

Griff had completed a complete job hunting through the lower deck, despite all the resistance he had faced. They continued asking him why he was searching through everything and what he wanted. None of his answers pleased them. However, he had been interrupted by one girl, Marinda, and they had been taking part in a discussion that was being withheld from the others. The other members simply watched from afar and didn’t disturb them. After a few minutes, Griff made his way back to the top deck and went to find Zireael. He wondered if she had made any progress. The climb of the stairs seemed harder this time, and he dreaded the discovery that Zireael might have made.

He made certain to double check over the deck even though she was through, but he was letting take her time. This was going to be her moment, and he didn’t want to take that away. She truly deserved this, and he couldn’t wait to see how she handled it. He remained in the hall before striding into the captain’s quarters. However, the sight they greeted him with made him cease. There was the prince, gripping the hand of the captain, as Zireael simply looked at them. Zorii’s eyes found his, and he simply cleared his throat as Poe tore his eyes off of Zireael and to him. A flash of recognition shone in the prince’s eyes.

“I’ll ask you again. Where did you get that necklace?” Poe asked through gritted teeth. The necklace that Zireael wore was Ro’s necklace that he had given her the summer before he disappeared. That night had been special to both of them and for some stranger to wear it made him see red. It raised plenty of questions, and Griff could only shake his head.

“That is none of your concern!” Zireael’s voice trembled. She was losing control of herself. Her shield was coming down, and she was struggling to pull it all together. The last moments were upon them, and nothing was going as planned. Before anyone could register what was transpiring, Poe had seized the pleats of her coat and pressed her against the wall. This woman could have done something to Ro and stolen her necklace. The necklace that he had given her.

“Tell me!”

Zireael searched his brown eyes, and all she could see was fury. Her hand shook as she gently raised her hand up to her head. Grasping the top of her hair, she lifted off the raven wig and tossed it to the side. Fingers worked to pull out the pins and release the two burgundy braids. Griff shook his head while Zorii watched in confusion, not recognizing who this girl really was. It was all very confusing for her. However, the sight of Poe’s eyes lighting up at the sight almost went unseen. Her emerald hues searched his, and her hands moved out to cup his cheeks. Her thumbs brushing over his cheekbones.

“Poe. . .”

He leaned into her familiar touch and sighed. It had to be a dream. He had daydreamed of her gentle touch for practically three months, and here she was. It was happening, but it wouldn’t last long. He recognized that. Poe wished to hold her and never let her go. He wondered if his father was here with her. She had been searching for her since he had left, and that made his heart swell. She had crossed oceans and possibly suffered so much just to recover him.

“Ro.”

“Who is this, Poe? Get her off our ship! We don’t have time for this! We need to get back to Kijimi!” Zorii reached for Poe’s arm and led him back to her. Her eyes darkened as she studied with the girl who he called Ro. She had heard the stories of this princess, and here she stood. This was one that Zorii had been warned about, and she would not let Poe leave with her.

“Poe, you swore we would go back to Kijimi! We would change the kingdom! You can’t betray me!”

The tears were forming in Zorii’s eyes while Poe looked between her and Aurora. The young woman he had known since he was eight had come all this way to rescue him, and it tore him apart. Zorii’s pleads filled one ear, and Griff stood beside Ro. It didn’t take him long before he realized it was Ignis. His hair was darker, but he could somewhat see the braids that were hidden. Ro didn’t deserve any of this. She deserved far better, and he was different now. He had changed more than she could understand. The prince wasn’t the same, and he couldn’t expect her to accept that. He needed to stop putting himself first. He needed to think of her. It was time to do the right thing. Sighing, he straightened up beside Zorii and let out a nervous sigh.

“I’m sorry.”

It was at that moment that Ro realized Poe would not come back with them. He had taken another path that she wouldn’t be able to follow. This path would keep them apart for the rest of their days, and nothing would bring them back together. Her heart broke at the thought that this was going to be the last time that she would see Poe, and there was so much that she needed to tell him. However, she wouldn’t be able to, and it was tearing her apart. Her fingers were trembling at her sides, and all she craved to do was hug him again. She wanted to tell him that their engagement didn’t matter anymore, and she just needed her friend to come home. She wanted to beg Poe to just come home and be with Kes again. All the words were on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t force any of them out. Ignis kept his grip on her shoulder and lightly squeezed as they all watched at each other. They were only wasting time now.

“Me too.”

That was all she could say, and she wasn’t even sure if it made sense. It didn’t matter to her anymore. An arm draped around her shoulders and she was brought out of the quarters and back to the plank. Ignis stopped as he took her hand while she climbed up on the railing and crossed the slab. Her head was still high as she started the walk, and she didn’t let her own crew see she was defeated. She didn’t want them to see that she had lost and how upset that she actually was. No, she would make certain that they saw her as they always did. All that faded when Kes came to her and scanned around for Poe. All she could do was shake her head and wrap her arms around him tightly. Sniffling as she hid her face in his chest as she tried to hold back tears.

“I’m so sorry.”

The rain had started to fall and for once she couldn’t tell if it was her tears or if it was the raindrops.

xxxxx

Later that night, Poe sat up in the crow's nest, staring up at the sky. The rain had ceased some time ago, but he didn’t care either way. His eyes weren’t nearly as puffy now and couldn’t stop thinking about her. He could still see his father hugging her when he closed his eyes, but this was to protect them. Poe wasn’t the same anymore and had carried out unspeakable acts that would make his father more than disappointed. He was part of the Kijimi Fleet now, and that’s where he was going to remain. Maybe there would come a chance where he could come home and see them again. He might even see Ro again, but right now he couldn’t think of that. He couldn’t dwell on her. The moment he saw her hair, he almost forgot him. It was a simpler style, and he understood why, but missed seeing her hair in those styles. He had even noted how her cheeks held more freckles than he normally observed in the summer when they would see each other.

Zorii had ascended into the crow’s nest with him and for the first time, he realized how much of a tight fit it was. He did his best to scoot further away from her, but it wasn’t enough. Her head on his shoulder caused him to stiffen, and he didn’t care if she noticed. He didn’t care about much at this point and kept silent.

“Never betray me, Poe Dameron.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The encounter with Poe and Zorii hadn’t gone over how she planned at all. She would not reveal herself until after they had safely brought Poe back. However, her necklace had given her away. Ignis had advised her it would be a risk before they even left Yavin. However, Ro couldn’t make herself take it off. It had been a gift from Poe. Her last link to Poe and it had exposed her to him. There had been hope that when he realized it was her he would come back, but he simply apologized. She had gotten back on the ship and lied to Kes about not finding Poe.

Aurora had kept herself separate from everyone when she got back to the ship. Ro had even pushed Ignis away the moment they got back. She ordered him to oversee the journey home. It riddled her mind with so many questions, so many concerns, and thoughts of him. One thought that stood out to her was his warm brown eyes carried no light. They were so dull. Poe didn’t look like himself. That wasn’t the Poe she recalled. When he had realized who she was, there had been a small light, but it immediately diminished when Zorii spoke. What has taken place in these last three months? They had both changed, but she wasn’t certain if it had benefitted either of them. All she knew now was that she wanted to get to Yavin, then back to Cianna. She needed to be with her Da, momma, and her sister. Home. She craved home.

xxxx

Aurora remained between her father and Ignis as Kes addressed everyone about the prince’s disappearance. The chamber was remarkably warm, and she cursed her father for forcing her to wear this damn dress. It seemed to stick to her skin and trap all the warmth. Ro felt sick as she listened to the king. She had lied. She had lied to protect Poe and let him have his freedom. Her stomach coiled and churned. She could taste the bile building up and did her best not to get sick. Her index finger clawing at her skin around her thumbs, certain it was becoming red and irritated.

“However, I will honor Princess Aurora’s efforts in attempting to locate my son. I will honor her in the custom of her own kingdom.”

No. No. No.

Her green eyes grew with fear and she stared up at her father, who was just as shocked, and he nodded for her to go. She hadn’t earned a braid. No! That braid would be a lie! It wasn’t properly earned at all! Her knees trembled with each step that she took, head bending to Kes. Pressing her lips into a small smile, she shook her head to him.

“Your highness, I haven’t earned it. I could not bring the prince home to you and his people. I can not accept it.” She whispered as her eyes moistened once again. Kes shook his head before drawing her into a strong hug.

“You have earned more than you think. I will always consider you family.” He murmured into her ear. Her fingers twisted into his robes as she did her best to collect herself. Would he say that if he realized the truth? If he knew, she had lied to him and let Poe go with the Kijimi fleet. He drew back from the embrace and gently spun her to face the crowd.

“My braid won’t be as lovely as King Jaqen’s but I shall do my best.” He laughed, and the court followed. All but her. Instead, she looked down and struggled to keep herself from being sick. The moment that Kes gathered her hair and started a modest braid, she thought of Poe. What would he think about this? Would he tell his father how she had deceived him? How undeserving she really was. The darkness in her mind informed her that everybody knew she was a liar. They all knew, and they were simply mocking her. She would wear this braid and its weight would constantly be heavy with guilt. Shame that would remind her of how she deceived a king and his kingdom. The anxiety in her chest was growing and becoming tighter with each second. Ro wished to grasp his hands and scream at him to stop. She didn’t want this braid. Eventually, Kes had finished her braid and bound with her other ones. The whole chamber applauded and cheered for her, her vision blurring from the tears. These weren’t tears of happiness.

After the address finished, Ro dashed back to her room. Ransacking the room, looking for her dagger or anything to cut off the cursed braid. She opened every drawer and emptied its contents as tears streamed down her cheeks. Upon discovering a pair of scissors, she brought them to the base of the braid and looked in the mirror. Cut it. That’s all she had to do. Cut the damn braid and never think about it ever again. Her lip wobbled as she forced down another scream that had been scratching its way up her throat since she left Poe.

“Ro! Stop!” Ignis immediately slammed her door behind him and clutched her wrist. His other hand seized the scissors and set them on the dresser.

“Let me cut this damn braid, Ignis! I order you to let me cut the cursed thing!” Her fingers curved into tight fists as she tore them out of his grasp. Her nails dug into the skin of her palms.

“No! You earned it! Just because prince perfect didn’t come home is not your fault!”

“Shut up! Shut up! You don’t know him!”

“And you do? He left his kingdom, sailed with the Kijimi Fleet, and chose another girl over you! Poe has never loved you! Poe doesn’t love you, Aurora! He will never love you!”

She didn’t want to hear his remarks, and her hand came to caress her necklace. Shaking her head at Ignis because she couldn’t even find words. His words cut deeper than any blade could.

“No! You’re wrong!”

“Ro, please. I have watched since we were young. I see what you miss. Poe is selfish and will never love you. He established that long ago. Let go.”

Before she could stop him, Ignis had reached out and grasped her necklace. The leather was worn from all the exposure, and it took little for him to break it. However, he wasn’t expecting Ro to sink her nails into his skin as he seized it. He started towards the window and opened it. Her pleas were slipping out the window and without a second thought, he flung the necklace.

“There’s nothing to tie you to him anymore, princess.”

She collapsed to the floor as he quietly left her room. The breezing caused her to shiver before she brought a hand up to her lips. Biting down on a bent knuckle as she finally screamed. The other palm hitting the floor as she gave up control. Her teeth were leaving imprints on her skin and splitting the skin. The slight taste of copper on her tongue as she let the emotions escape her. Her tears hadn’t ceased, and her entire body rocked.

She felt numb.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Months after. . . .

A queen remained in her bed, struggling with each breath that she drew. Her hand tightly gripped by the husband that she adored, her children curled up beside her. The oldest princess wept the loudest, and her fingers tangled in her mother’s blouse. The princess was no stranger to loss anymore, but it wasn’t becoming easier. In fact, it was harder and harder. The father held his wife into a more comfortable position as she fought to brush their girls’ hair. Her fingers ran through their hair as she murmured a lullaby. With each breath she drew, they held theirs, scared it would be the last. When her eyes closed, their father took them back to their rooms and tucked them in, knowing that one of them would seek the other for comfort. He wasn’t shocked when he closed the oldest girl’s door and heard a wail so agonizing that he begged for the maker to ease her pain. The girl was moving and he could hear her destroying everything in her room, not caring what happened to it. She cursed every god that she had ever learned about. Her sobs and screams wracked through her lithe frame and she sank to her knees with her arms crossed and clutching her shoulders. Rocking back and forth as she let the tears spill down her cheeks. The kingdom all mourned that night, but none louder than she. However, they didn’t cry just for their beloved queen. They wept for her entire family, notably the oldest princess.

The snowy kingdom embraced the boy with wide arms, and the queen was overjoyed to have such a noble boy as her guest. She would offer him whatever he requested, craved, and desired, as long as he stayed. He would be taken care of. The girl held his hand as they walked the corridors of her home and taught him all that she could. However, it didn’t feel like home to him. No matter how many times the girl smiled at him, held his hand, or kissed him, it wasn’t enough. The queen’s gifts, dinners, and parties only drove him to miss home more. He missed the father that would give him advice and tease him. He missed his best friend that would always do his best to help him. However, the boy missed the girl that had always tried to be his friend; the girl was just as stubborn as he was; he missed her smile, her laugh, and more. Most importantly, he just missed her. When the news of another queen passing reached the snowy kingdom, the boy left in the dead of night. Not a word spoken to anyone. It was time to go home.

#TW: anxiety mention #TW: mentions of being sick #TW: character death #Poe Dameron x OFC #my writing #mar's writing #My OC #to capture a heart series #Tw: cursing #TW: Angst #Scheduled post

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samthemarvelfan · 4 years ago

Text

I Won’t Say: Chapter Nine

-Last Words-

Summary: Ellaria Stark is the daughter of a king. When she is unwittingly betrothed to the King of a neighboring city, she isn’t sure how to feel. More importantly, she isn’t sure how the King will feel if he finds out the truth about her.

Pairing: James Barnes x OFC, Ellaria Stark. (Stark!Reader.)

Warnings: Royal!AU, ANGST, violence, mentions of death and murder, revenge, blood, description of crimes.

A/N: I am SO sorry this took so long! I needed to feel right, and then I had life get in the way and nothing was sparking. BUT ITS HERE AND ITS A ROLLERCOASTER GUYS, GET READY.

Hours.

You had been kidnapped, exploited, and locked in a dark cell for hours. You’d stopped crying now, simply because your tears had run dry.

This is how your story was going to end; locked in a dungeon in a place you didn’t even know existed. All because of your blasted heart and your inability to ever say ‘no.’

You’d never see your parents, Morgan, Wanda, Natasha, or Steve...

or James again.

What a bitter tale this would be. To have been so close to the thing you desired most, only to have it all ripped from you in moments. James Barnes had your heart in his hands, and destroyed it in front of you.

Yet, you know in the deepest depths of your soul, your heart belongs to him still. God, you hope to make it out of here alive. You want to tell him he was wrong, and you were set up. That you could never do what he accused you of.

A silent wish crossed your lips, praying he already knew.

Your melancholy was interrupted by another bang, only this time it came from outside your window.

The glass was filthy and covered in soot, but you saw the troops loading trailers with supplies. Hundreds of men, all under Rumlow’s control. Surely they were under some kind of sp—

The thought hit you like runaway carriage.

A spell. Magic. Wanda’s Magic...

Wanda had once told you she could feel you. You knew she could read your thoughts, but she also knew when you were feeling sad or happy—or scared.

You climbed down from your perch near the window and center yourself in the room.

With closed eyes, you willed your mind to find hers. Searching within your soul to connect with Wanda and only Wanda.

My sweet friend, I need you. If you can hear me, the people of Buchanan need help, they are not safe. Rumlow will take the city when the King is gone. Wanda, you’re my only hope. Please, keep Morgan safe, but help the people if you can. My hope is lost.

“Stay on high alert, men!” Samuel shouted.

James kept lead of the soldiers, Samuel and Steve respectively to his left and right.

“We’ll find her, Buck.” Steve said lowly.

James only nodded. Fearful that if he spoke, nothing could stop the worry leaching into his words.

Your life was at stake, and it was all because of him. He’d been so blinded by grief and deceit, and now everything is crumbling around him.

“Shieldian is a fortress, your Highness. Are you certain we should have left half of our men behind?” Sam asked.

James nodded. “If Rumlow is planning what I think he’s planning, he will try to take the city in my leave. We need troops there on the ground in case of an attack, he probably has men awaiting word outside of our walls.”

“And Stark?”

Bucky chuckled slightly, “Tony may be decades my senior, but he’s always loved a good fight.”

Steve spoke next. “This is a long way to go for revenge. This was so thought out—meticulous. How long had Rumlow been planning this?”

James’ horse settled into a steady trot. “My Father killed his years ago, before I was even born. I imagine he’s heard the tales his whole life. Revenge could be second nature for someone like that.”

“Someone like that?” Steve questioned.

James nodded. “Hydralia was a cruel and unforgiving kingdom. That’s what Rumlow was raised on—hatred. His Father, their last king, was a rapist, a murderer, a thief. My father sought to put an end to it, but rather than surrender his crown, King Rumlow subjected his people to the horror and desolation of war.”

The King took a sip of his canteen and continued, “That’s why he wants me dead. An eye for an eye, he wants to erase Buchanan the way—“

In a moment of realization, he paused. “...the way we erased Hydralia...”

“Buck? What—“ Steve started.

“She’s not in Shieldian, she’s in Hydralia.” James says frantically. “He’s holding her where this all started. Ellaria is with him, she has to be, he knows she’s the only person I’d leave the city for.” James was certain.

A crinkle of parchment unfurling grabbed his attention. Sam rode closer to James an shared his map.

“Hydralia was said to be just around the Brucklin Pass,” He pointed to the small notch. “It’s not on any of our current maps because, well...we didn’t think it existed.” Samual remarked.

“You’re right, Sam. My Father kept all the maps for the last 300 years of the realm’s existence, I’ve seen it on nearly all of them. That’s where it is, that’s where we’ll find him.”

Bucky reigned his horse towards his troops, and they halted.

“Men!” He shouted, reaching the very back of the Caravan.

“What I ask of you this evening is no easy task. There will be violence and murder and bloodshed, but I will be there, along side you. Fighting for peace and for Buchanan’s future!”

The men cheered for their King.

“Rumlow, however, is mine. He’s taken something—someone which my soul cannot bear to lose. If you see the Princess, save her by any means necessary, and bring the coward to me.”

Ropes and metal dug into your wrists.

“Now, now, Princess. Don’t fight it, it will only make things worse.”

Rumlow had two men drag you from your cell, and chain you to a wooden slab. Your wrist and ankles were bound by thick rope.

“You’re wasting your time! He won’t come for me!” You shout, fighting back tears.

Rumlow chuckles darkly, before grabbing a candle from the sconce on the wall. “I sure hope he does,”

You watch as he walks around you, to a make-shift stone pyre. Without hesitation, he tosses the flame into the dark abyss and it ignites; fire raging from the pit. “Or you’re going to be very sorry.”

A sob escaped you as you watch the flames grow. The heat radiating from it is already far too warm for your liking. “Please. I am of no value to you! My death will bring you nothing.”

He charged you, pulling your hair back and stretching you further, the chains digging into your skin. “Your death will being me Barnes!” He screams.

“I will slay that bastard where he stands and avenge my Father! You think I was satisfied gutting his like a pig? Slitting his mother throat until she ran dry? No. I want every scrap of hope and happiness he has. I want him begging for death, craving it.”

Tears are burning your skin, this is the evil you’d been sheltered from you whole life. You’d known bad people existed, but never had you imagined they’d be this depraved.

“Barnes will fall on my sword willingly once he see’s what I’ve done to you.”

The sounding of a horn draws his attention. Clanking metal can be heard outside the broken glass windows in the room.

“Buchanan troops spotted at the Brucklin Pass! Men take your posts!” Someone in command shouts. You heard the panic and hurried stampede of soldiers rushing to defend themselves.

Rumlow lets out a growl as he brings his lips to your ear, whispering wickedly. “He better be here, Princess. Or your death will come much quicker than intended.”

With a quivering lip, you stay silent. Praying James is anywhere but Hydralia.

“Lead them directly through the city, no hiding, no stopping. I want every weakness of Rumlow’s exposed.” James whispered to his friend.

Steve nodded. “Are you sure about this Buck? If something happens to you, Rumlow won’t hesitate to take Buchanan. You shouldn’t be going alone.”

James secures his sword to his side, as well as his dagger for good measure. “If Rumlow sees me, Ellaria’s life is in greater danger. He’ll have no more use for her, Steve. I can’t let that happen.”

He nods, “As you wish. Stay hidden, your highness. Find Ellaria and bring her home.”

With that, they part. James seeking out the darkest alleys and river ways that weave throughout the streets.

Where would he take her? Think James, think!

The city is dark, barely any fires to be found. James thought that odd considering the time of year.

The sound of marching-in-time draws his attention around a corner. He spots what can only be described as makeshift soldiers marching towards the front of the gate.

They’ve been spotted. He thinks to himself.

“Buchanan troops have entered the city!” He hears someone shout.

More running, only this time it’s too close for the King’s comfort. James peeks down the alley and finds a dozen men heading his way.

Using the cover of darkness, he runs and rolls himself down onto the bed of the river, and hides amongst the logs and weeds.

“Where is Lord Rumlow?” One of them asks.

“With the girl. You think he’d actually come fight with us? Side by side?” Another sneered.

Disloyalty breeds disloyalty.

When the coast clears and James is sure the troops have gone, he searches, focusing on each rundown or ruined building he can see. Then, as if by fate itself, he see one in the distance, smoke rising from the roof. The only one with a fire burning as far as the eye can see...

“He’s not with them, Sir.” A soldier nervously tells Rumlow.

He reached for the boy, and shakes him by his armor. “What do you mean he’s not fucking with them?!” Rumlow shouts in his face.

The boy stutters, “H-He must have s-stayed behind, my Lord! The only ones fighting alongside the troops are Rogers and Wilson!”

He knows everything. Even the names of his most trusted friends.

The timid guard was thrown from Rumlow’s hands, “Have our troops reached Buchanan?” He asked.

“Yes, sir. They’re awaiting your orders. We have a hawk at the ready to carry your command.”

Rumlow paused for a moment, before looking you in the eyes. “Send word. Burn it to the ground. No survivors.”

“No!” You shout.

Even the young soldier seems hesitant to obey. His eyes flitting between you and the mad man standing above you.

“Go boy! Now!” Rumlow shouted. The soldier turns, scrambling out of the room.

“I warned you, Princess.” You watch as Rumlow reaches into his belt, pulling out a dagger. “You’ve proven yourself to be just what you say—useless.”

He walks to you, cutting the ropes at your ankles and wrists, undoing the chains as well. For a moment, you have hope. Maybe he’d let you go, since you’ve shown what you’re worth.

In a flash, you’re thrown to the cold stone floor, hitting it with a slap. Rumlow brandishes his knife, as he circles you like prey.

“Do you think Barnes found out the truth? The jewel of the Iron Kingdom is really the daughter of a servant, too weak and careless to even survive giving birth to you. Is that why he won’t come? Doesn’t want to get his hand any dirtier than he already has?”

You scoot back against the wall, the cold of it contrasting with the blazing fire before you. “Maybe killing you won’t do me any good. I’d probably be doing him a favor.”

The explosion of wood splintering throughout the room makes you screech.

Rumlow turns on his heel, and you shield your eyes. Unsure if what or who is here now will be friend or foe.

“Barnes.” Rumlow seethes.

In an instant, your hands fall from your eyes.

James is there, filth covered and in his battle clothes.

“Enough, Rumlow. End this now.”

He laughs, “Why? We’re just getting started. I have you whore, doesn’t she look well?”

James looks at you, a softness in his eyes you’d nearly forgotten about. “I’m sorry.” He whispers.

“Look to me, Barnes. I’m in control here, you’re in my kingdom.”

“Is that what this is about? You want power? Glory? This is no way to get it!” James shouts.

Rumlow bent down, grabbing your arm with great force, and pulling you to your feet roughly. “Power?” He shook you, causing James to step forward. “This is power, Barnes!”

James stepped again, and Rumlow pointed his blade at him. “What I want is revenge.”

He pulls his blade back, holding the razor sharp edge of the dagger at your throat. “I want you to lose everything.”

“Don’t!” James shouts.

Rumlow’s putrid breath is in your ear as he begins to move the blade, stroking it over the soft skin below your jaw.

“Does it scare you, Barnes?” He seethed. You wimpier under his touch, far too frightened to actually move or speak.

He plants a disgusting kiss on your cheek, and you see James begin to tremble; not with fear, but rage.

“To be so helpless...weak. To have what you love most in front of you, and not get to choose if they live or die?”

“Leave her be, she’s nothing to do with this.” James croaked.

“No, she doesn’t. After all, what good is the daughter of a servant?”

You feel your heart plummet to the depths of your gut. This is it, surely not even James would want you now.

“Did you hear what I said Barnes? Your whore is the daughter of someone who cleaned up shit for a living. How does that feel? Knowing what she’s worth?”

Rumlow’s grasp on your hair grew tighter, keeping your neck exposed.

“I know her worth, Rumlow...” James spoke, reaching slowly for the hilt of his sword.

“She’s priceless.”

Before Rumlow could respond, James twisted his sword upward, slicing through the meat of his hand. He screamed, dropping both you and the dagger.

You scrambled to your knees as you watched the two men brawl. Rumlow wasn’t nearly as skilled as James was with a blade, in fact when he drew his, he nearly dropped it.

“Ellaria, run!” James shouts as their swords clash.

Your instincts tell you to listen, to get away, far away. Yet you don’t move, you’re frozen in place.

I can’t leave you. Not again.

Rumlow uses the distraction to his advantage, causing the King’s sword to fall. He kicks James’ chest in, and his knees buckle from the blow.

“You can fight, I’ll give you that.” Rumlow coughs, wiping blood from his lip.

He grabs James’ collar, and brings him toward the still roaring fire. “You’ll burn, just like Buchanan.”

The King is fighting, with everything he has, but Rumlow is stronger. He drags James’ body to the pit, holding his face above the flames. “Any last words?”

A brief pause, and he looks to you. “I love you.”

Then, using Rumlow’s momentum against him, James kicks off the stone side of the pyre, flipping himself behind his assailant.

He slams his boot behind Rumlow’s knee, and he collapses. In seconds, James has two hands near his neck. He jerks them suddenly, and Rumlow falls to the floor with a low crack.

You’re not sure what happens next, but the last thing are his cerulean eyes fading into blackness.

Taglist: @iheartsebastianstan @jjlizz @stuckysbabe @sk493494 @lefoutoir @nickangel13 @marvelismysafezone @lilulo-12 @warmvanillafeels @star-spangled-beard-burn @ravenesque @pinknerdpanda @wintersoldierissucharide @snapcapquartet @ellen-reincarnated1967 @unlistedpond @my-drowning-in-time @supernaturalwintersoldier @kimvmarvel @roseboho @winterboobear11 @choicesloversstuff @disaffectedbarnes @igothroughphasesalot (strikethrough means the tag didn’t work! I’m sorry!)

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes angst #Bucky Barnes AU #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fic

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withoneheadlight · 4 years ago

Note

NSFW Anon here and I’ve come back w the most NSFW thing ever right, so like imagine this,,,, Steve and Billy being happy and content,,,, wow

Hey nsfw! anon💗💗💗. here I finally am!

First of all: this is the most amazing, most beautiful of asks🌟. Thinking about then happy and content, thinking about them having a FUTURE together is, the most non-safe thing ever, definitely not safe for the heart, in that way love is always a risk, a leap of faith, it's not safe at all. But I honestly think these two can fall on their feet at the end of the jump. I don’t think is gonna be easy, ofc. It’s not easy people we’re talking about. The jump is gonna last long. Sometimes is gonna feel like a freefall. That rage Billy has inside is going to be hard to deal with. For Steve, for himself. Things like that leave a mark, and being raised like that, learn that you have to bite to survive, that becomes an instinct, so it’s going to hurt, learn to live with that inside. And Steve-- having so ingrained that love is something you have to buy, a rent you have to pay without fail so people stay by your side, well, that ain’t easy either. And there are so, so many other things they’ll have to deal with. To learn. To understand (about themselves. about the other. about all the other people in their lives) so they can keep moving forward.

But if I’m not gonna be a romantic in here where else could I be? xD So I believe love wins, haha, at the end. Lame as it might sound. I believe that because the more I think about these two the more alike I found them. The more I think they’re like two sides of the same coin, spinning, spinning, and sometimes, unexpectedly, the coin stops on its rim, it doesn’t fall: they realize the other gets them. They realize they’re looking in the eyes of that somebody that is gonna know. when they need it. Its gonna look at their eyes and just know. And that’s not gonna make it easier but-- its the thing that changes it all.

It’s the thing that rescues them both.

And that’s the idea that fuels all my stories because my stories are, like, always the same? xD, something draws them apart. Something draws them back. And the thing is, I had always imagined them, like, moving together to a tiny, shitty apartment after that, after everything happens, after they’re finally together, and for good, that last time. But then, after the two month+ quarantine I spent at my own tiny apartment, I was lucky enough to move to my parent’s house in the country, and I had spent almost all that time writing them in a frenzy, so the moment I got there, with all that green and the trees and the fresh air I thought okok, the apartment is good but they’re gonna buy a house, at some point, they have to buy a house. So I started to write this messy hc that is like, mmm, an epilogue, for a lot of those stories, like a mash-up? future fic-ish-y thing, mixing parts of them all. Like: no matter what happens. Or how it happens. All roads lead to this future. To them coming back to the other like gravity. To them buying an old house with a backyard, and an ugly couch, and a strange-shaped kitchen, with them finding their place inside themselves and together and in the world. And if not their place at least some kind of peace (because, well, it's never that easy either, as we are as ever-changing as life itself is)

But, you know, a good future. Together.

So, here is a small piece of that, a bit messy and a bit tooth-rotting but, I’m writing this is basically to make myself happy so, no regrets xD. Also i hope it makes you a bit happy too, anon, as you have made me with this lovely lovely ask.

…...

The kitchen is Steve's favorite part of the house.

It has this odd shape. Trapezoid. “Fuck, Stevie, so goddamn weird”. Doesn’t make sense in a, on the other hand, perfectly rectangular house (or, well, it does, but they’ll only find out about that later). The cabinets are ceiling-high. The tiles of the wall white and cracked under the repeating pattern of light mint-green-stemmed, yellow-petaled lilies. The whole backdoor is painted on that same shade Billy calls Ripe banana dreams, both so terribly old fashioned and fiercely cute none of them say a word about repainting it. There’s a wooden piece, built into the farthest end of the counter. It looks disgustingly juicy and mercilessly stabbed when they move in, but Billy insists on keeping it, and sanding, and treating, and varnishing it. Manages to get it back up on shape because “Better than anyone, darling you should know what a little touch of class can make”. And for more than two weeks straight the only goal of his life is to learn to cut vegetables at high speed because "I have to live up to this level of professionalism. Impress our most un-impressionable guests"

(And, to Steve’s surprise –and probably hers– when she finally dings to pay them a visit his mom is, in fact, pretty much impressed)

He learns how to make good casserole. Tries his luck with Mexican and Italian. Fails miserably with Japanese. Will never-ever admit it, but he loves it when flour ends up staining every single surface, making the biggest mess around himself when he bakes. Steve knows why it is. It's a shared feeling. Floats up till it reaches the ceiling and bounces back down to them, heavy with the warm smell of cooking pie and cinnamon. Tastes docile and tamed like “Maybe not so much vanilla next time. Whaddaya think, babe?.” Tastes savage and daring, like the overwhelming tang of freshly squeezed lemon lingering on Billy’s tongue when he crowds Steve against the fridge and kisses him, bites a shuddering laugh out of him “How the fuck are you able to even think about putting your mouth near that thing, Hargrove?. That was––ugh. That was disgusting” “Well you know me, whatever it takes to make you squirm” leaving Steve with absolutely no option but lick the sugary dough stain over his cheek to “Cover up that foul flavor” and maybe because he likes to make Billy shudder too. It’s an ever-present feeling. Like the vivid smells of green tomatoes and parsley and mustard sauce. Like the sensation of Billy’s lips against his. The way he loses his breath when Steve kisses the sugary flavour into his mouth.

This place smells like home, tastes like home. Like finally, finally. Home.

It’s Billy’s favorite place, too. But Steve doesn’t think it's just because of that. But also because maybe,

maybe.

He has also noticed that--

There’s this particular, particular moment. It happens around seven on autumns, right when the day starts to fade. It happens between six and six past twenty-eight on winters, and holds the sleepy cheeks of the newborn tulips on Steve’s garden till they fall asleep on springs, sun already sinking behind the horizon by the time both hands of the clock meet over the spiraling infinity of the eight. And it grows bigger and bigger and bigger from there: the golden sunlight seeping through the wide, double-paned window facing the backyard at an oblique angle, making the yellow flowers of the tiles look like they’re re-blooming in gold.

It's the moment the day turns into a fire.

It’s their favorite moment in time. And in this particular, particular day of summer, it happens at ten past nine.

Billy is making Spaghetti carbonara. The kitchen is damp with the rich smells coming out of the boiling water. Mushrooms and oregano, black pepper and lime. A song is cooing at them from the radio, the beat of the drums a boneless memory of that one echoing around the quarry that last night at the end of July. Water rippling under the quiet sigh of the breeze. Trees cutting the liquid rays of light in asymmetric halves.

Billy takes off the apron, lowers down the fire.

Reaches out to Steve, fingers wavering come, come, come.

To me. Come to me. “C’mon, Harrington. Are you afraid of me or what?"

He has this way of looking at Steve that makes the space between them narrow, narrow: the whole unknown world. And aseptic, non-lived-in flat in downtown Florida. This tiny, tiny town. A mysteriously-shaped kitchen–

“¿Can I have this dance?”

Steve walks to him, takes his hand.

––Their bodies, pressed flush.

Inside his chest, Steve’s heart is running.

“Can I at least have this dance, before we say goodbye?”

Mazzy Star was playing. The corner of Billy’s eye felt wet where his skin brushed against the corner of Steve’s mouth. They danced till the daylight faded, till there were teardrops falling from the night sky (“Billy, I don’t have to–-” “Don’t. Don’t, pretty boy. Don’t say it. I’ll make you stay if you do. And I can’t do that”), they made lovelovelove on the back of Billy’s car.

In this light they fell in love, they fell apart. Ran away. Ran back.

Steve nudges at Billy’s chest, makes him move backwards till he’s far enough to tug, draw him in between their arms, hands intertwined. Steve curls himself around Billy’s back, nudges at the warm trapped between his curls. He smells like BillyandSteve, like this home, like past, like future. Like us.

Steve whispers in his ear. Three words. Billy’s neck curves towards him. An instinct. Tickled by their warmth. Steve kisses the curve of his ear. Tugs the collar of his shirt aside, bites where shoulder meets neck and up, up.

“Easy, Prom King” Billy teases, grins at him tender and wild. Knows when to use the one that gets Steve every time “Or you’re gonna make me think we’ll become picture perfect from this magical night onwards. A bunch of kids. White fences. You know, the whole shebang”

Billy crashed the Camaro into a tree in the winter of two thousand and fourteen. Had left the house in a frenzy. Something had happened Max wouldn’t talk about. But she was scared, so she had called. When Steve found him, he was in the middle of the Brookville road, feet following the twin yellow lines, so weary, so impossibly small like this, head hanging, feet stumbling, surrounded by the tall shadows of the pines. Steve stopped the car at his side, engine oozing steam, shaking in the cold mid-May air “Billy” he said. Low. Careful. Careful. Billy’s eyes looked wet in the moon-silver night, pupils blown, deceivingly calm, “What are you doing? You know this is dangerous” And Billy had leaned in, forearms over the rim, had leveled with Steve. Looking wasted, looking tired, but still, he flashed a grin at him, teeth-shark white, not going down if he wasn’t going down swinging. And Steve hadn’t known at the moment, but the blood staining his cheek, the screaming-purple mark around his eye, those weren’t from the crush. “I was sleepwalking, Harrington" he said, voice dry, laugh harsh "Waiting for a stroke of luck"

“What does it make you think that’s not what I’m aiming for?”

When he took Billy to his house Max was already there, had sneaked out, white knuckles peaked with red around the handler of her bike “Neil will kill you if he finds out” Billy didn’t say it, but she read it on his eyes. And Max had called Steve. Called for help. So Steve took care of Billy’s face. Made him stay. Spend the night. Almost the whole next day, didn’t wake up till the hands meet over the spiraling infinity of the eight. Steve left him there. Retraced Billy’s steps down the Brookville road, following the yellow lines. The Camaro wasn’t done yet. Howled like a wounded beast under Steve's hands, but stayed together all the way to Donny’s garage. Steve paid for the repairs. Covered it all up. Two weeks later, Billy showed up at his door. Offered to teach him how to fight “I cannot give you back your money, but I know you don’t need that”

They spent almost the whole summer together. Some days. Most nights.

Wasting time. Fighting. Joking. Driving. Fooling around.

No ‘what ifs’. No promises. Just,

“Leave the light on if you can’t sleep. If I manage to sneak out of the Old fuck, I’ll pick you up. I won’t stop kissing you until dawn”

Because Steve was gonna leave. Wasn’t going to throw a single glance behind his back. That was the plan.

And he did. He did. But––

He spins Billy out. Tugs him back. When their chests bump, his laugh explodes, bubbles up. Weightless. Happy. Because all that matters to him, to them, it’s between these four irregular walls now.

And God this, this, is Steve’s favorite part.

–ended up coming back running, following the yellow lines. Hoping Billy was the one letting his light on this time.

Because the sun is gonna keep on shining. They can keep on dancing in here, in their weird, yellow, trapezoidal kitchen, for as long as they want. Hearts touching. Lips brushing. Bodies swaying, spinning, cutting through the golden light.

#harringrove #golden hours at the harrington-hargrove household #billy x steve #steve x billy #xharringrove #xask #askfic #ns*w!anon💕

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ryttu3k · 4 years ago

Text

Finishing up SoNY, ‘bad’ end and final thoughts!

But first, the early game over.

Wow, she just gets shot. Not even slurped? That’s rude as hell XD;;

And on to the ‘bad’ end!

Beginning is much the same, ofc.

“You’re too in love with weaving a good story and establishing a seductive narrative to let facts get in the way.” Foreshadowing for the ‘good’ end, maybe?

God that Embrace scene gives me literal goosebumps.

Alright! Last time I did Danse Macabre and Retributive Justice, let’s try The Risks of Swiping Right!

lmao god I’d eat this guy too. Back to the ghost club! That legitimately is a really neat scene. ...Ooh yes so that’s where the girl was from.

Panhard just lowkey dying at the mental image of Katherine Weise in a fast food restaurant is so good.

The sweet scene between Julia and Dakota hits a bit different after the ‘good’ end XD;;

Went to the park, reminisced, and helped out the guy. That was sweet ;_; High-humanity Julia, this time!

‘Fairy God Mother?’ is great but ‘Vin Diesel?’ is objectively the funnier response.

“Shining even more brightly than usual, Aisling.” Samira got a cru-ush~

Poor Julie. It’s probably been tough without Sophie around :(

Huh. Interestingly, refusing to lie to Mia results in Julia actually feeling genuine loyalty to the Cammies (for now, at least).

Believing Agathon is still alive = more optimistic = different dialogue! See, this is how you make choices have consequences, game!

Oooh boy time to meet Adelaide XD;;

“She uncrosses her legs in a strangely seductive motion. In her mind’s eye, it probably looked like Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, but in reality, it had all the grace of a tracksuit Slav squatting.” *snickering*

Fight me, Adelaide >:(

‘sup Nastya. Went with the slightly less disruptive routine here XD Huh, she’s an aspiring DJ! Julia is deeply confused as to how being a DJ and being head of security works together.

lmao Julia referring to Hope as a girlboss. That phrase has lost all meaning to me...

The conversation between Julia and Father Leonard is still really interesting. Man, you know who I want Julia to talk to? Anatole. Interesting insights into balancing being queer Catholic vampires there for sure.

lmao oh my god I want to fight this street reporter.

‘I can almost feel my brain losing its wrinkles.’ *snort*

Yeaghhhh the Abyss bit is still so creepy...

Oops. Being honest regarding Tamika and Torque’s relationships gets a fail :(

Oh, or not XD That works! Also, uh, apparently the giant albino ghoul alligator is real, according to New York by Night. He’s Calebros’ pet.

“Because I think I have a pretty good nose for people’s auras. And when I take a good look at you... ...somehow, I have a feeling you’re a surprisingly decent person. Whatever way of unlife you choose, I hope you don’t change it. And that you remember my advice.” :)

“I know.” Oof.

“Hi.” “WAAAH!” lmao sorry Princess XD;; Just trying to imagine Qadir’s face as he tells Julia to find a 1990 glass statue of Scrooge McDuck... dying...

Oh she’s so a Toreador XD Low art options are a fantasy book, an anime DVD, or a video game... those can all be arty, though! And went with the anime DVD called ‘Ririsu no Daibouken’... that translates to ‘Adventures of Lilith’. How on the nose XD “The cover says ‘Lilith’s Carnal Carnival’.” Oh. Yeah, that’d do it XD

“This 90s original video anime presents us with a tale of five big-bosomed samurai warriors travelling through America in search of General Hastavista, The Incubus King. Don’t let all the titillation misguide you: the main draws here are peerless direction, a nearly avant-garde editing rhythm and dialogue that coyly comments on traditional gender roles in anime. Once you see the animation in the final battle, you’ll understand why it never fails to set a sakuga fan’s heart ablaze!”

She’s my new favourite.

“So can I know your name now?”

“Hmmm... Let me think...

No. <3″

I need to stress that the heart appears in the dialogue box. Like. The actual less-than-three heart.

Didn’t investigate the rat this time, so Qadir did and I die. “Glad you’re alright, little guy.” Qadir...

Still not over the drunk blood doll rats.

Kaiser’s still a goddamn creep and this time Julia is not going too far. She still has her humanity, dammit. Final set of traits:

Loyal to the end

Glass half-full

Not into a bad cop schtick

Honesty is the best policy

No more human, still humane

Onwards to the ‘bad’ end! Oops, and Dakota still did the Single White Female thing XD;;

Man I’m still really curious who the ‘good friend’ is!!

Okay! Time for end game!!

So that’s the good friend, huh? “Let me phrase it differently, then. You’re not Ecaterina the Wise, the Agitator of Prague, a Brujah elder causing turbulences all over the world... are you?”

Mention of Christof! Mention of Christof doing shady shit :| Poor Hana.

“An immigrant from Eastern Europe comes to New York City, takes the position she always expected to find herself in, is molded into someone who is no longer herself.”

Julia and Dakota representing Carthage is kind of neat.

I want to say the mention of St Jude is a reference, but I’m not sure what to XD;; Is that from Redemption? Christof could have been the one to tell Hana that.

“Like a two-person human centipede loop or something. An Ouroburos? Or an, uhh, Mobius strip?” No, that’s the other traditionally Sabbat clan XD

That‘s. That’s a hell of a reconciliation XD “Yeah, let’s give it a try. By the way I’m on the run for my unlife, want to go to California and try to find utopia?”

Julia, wear a fucking mask XD

“Hey.”

“Yeah?“

“Do you love me?”

“... Of course I do. For now, at least.”

I still don’t know if I love her. Or even if I can love anyone, for that matter. I’m a fucking monster, after all. I don’t even know if we’ll exist next month. The prospects are not looking good. But although I can’t see myself in the rearview mirror right now...

...I will remember this image of us leaving the city, somewhat melancholic, and somewhat hopeful, forever. And maybe the meaning of this image will be clarified with time. Or maybe I will just force a more positive description on it, and that is what I’ll believe.

No matter what happens... even if oceans of blood lie before us, I will make this a cherished memory.

Whatever possible salvation still remains for me... ...it probably lies in the eyes of another.

Oh dang I have chills.

So the ‘bad’ ending is about the subverted compromise. Julia resigns herself to letting the compromise about the truth of Callihan’s death go ahead. ‘Catherine’ is a walking compromise to hide the Ecaterina’s real deeds. But while Hana is still stuck in her role for now, Julia refuses to accept the compromise she’s made, both the one relating to the investigation and the compromise she made of her own views and morals. It might blow up in her face, yeah. But damn, she’s going to try.

So, final thoughts! For the sake of completion, this is what I said about Coteries:

And of course this is the part where the game all falls apart :-\

Just… god. This is probably the biggest problem with CoNY, and the reason I didn’t bother getting it until it was like… 60% off. The bulk of the game is great - the writing is intriguing, the design is stunning. But the choices themselves are so limited it’s barely worth even getting it at 60% off!

You have three choices of characters, with their own opening chapters and own individual scenes with their touchstones. You have four choices of coterie members, and three sidequests. You can probably get in at least three full story arcs and a sidequest or two, but you’re only ever limited to two of your coterie members showing up at the not-yet-endgame.

So let’s say you decide to play all three protags, which, indeed, is encouraged (there’s an achievement for it). You are going to repeat coterie arcs and side quests, because there simply aren’t enough for three unique playthroughs.

And then you get to the end and literally everything is scripted. You get attacked by the SI. You get rescued by your two coterie members (and then never see them again, despite the game being called Coteries of New York). You meet Torque, you escape the SI, Sophie reveals her plan to Torque, you go to Ellis Island, Adelaide kills Sophie (and despite the fact that you’re given multiple options there, none of them work), Arturo does his spiel, end of game. You don’t even get to choose between ending up blood bound or going “no fuck you” and at least dying with a bit of dignity!

I just. I really want to like it, and there genuinely is a lot there to like! But uuuugh the ending. Like damn at least give the poor protag the option to choose what happens to them!

Anyway. Not sure what’s next. To get all the achievements, you have to finish with all three protags, so that’s three full runs and a lot of repetitiveness (compare to, say, Bloodlines or Night Road. I have eighty-five hours on Night Road and there’s still stuff I haven’t seen!), so I can’t even just… rush it through up to the meeting with the touchstones on the third play. Nope. Gotta finish it :-\

Final rating: 6/10

8/10 characters, 9/10 atmosphere, 8/10 story aside from ending, 3/10 story ending, 2/10 replayability. Final consensus: get it on major sale if you can, otherwise, you might as well just watch an LP. I might do that instead of doing a third run, although I at least want to do a second.

I ended up revising that 6/10 to 5.5/10 after finishing all runs and getting the achievements just out of how goddamn repetitive it was. So, how does Shadows measure up?

Absolutely continued with all the things I enjoyed about CoNY (characters, atmosphere, and writing), and of the bits I hated (cookie cutter protagonists, lack of real choice, repetitiveness, the godawful ending), every single part has been completely improved.

Instead of three fledglings so similar they even have the same internal thoughts, we have Julia, who’s got such a distinct voice that she becomes the most memorable game protag I’ve seen in years, and I’m including non-VtM games in this. This is absolutely her game, and it’s just... absolutely fascinating to read and watch.

Related - actual real choices. There are five key choices that determine the ending, and every single one has actual consequence in-game. You get different dialogue. Different introspection. Different philosophies. And this carries across - if Julia believes Agathon is alive, she’s more optimistic about her relationship with Dakota, too. And of course, both endings are completely distinct and incredibly written - the ‘good’ ending where Julia gives in to her most Lasombra instincts, plays the game, wins it, gets power and respect at the expense of her humanity and avoiding all those wraiths... or the ‘bad’ ending when she listens to her morals, reconciles with Dakota, and leaves for California, uncertain, but hopeful.

Not a lot of repetitiveness. Yes, by design, you’ll probably do two playthroughs. The main plot is much the same, but there are enough options there to get multiple dialogue options and stuff. And for the little sidequests, you can actually get all in with just the two playthroughs, only repeating like... two, I think. Still, I wasn’t feeling actively bored like I was midway through my second run of CoNY!

Loved seeing more in-depth backstory and development for the coterie members. Agathon’s section was particularly fascinating, literally getting into his head.

And just. Atmosphere and music is so, so good.

Final rating: 9/10. Thank you, Draw Distance, you hit it out of the park.

#vampire the masquerade #vtm shadows of new york #ry plays sony

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lokilickedme · 5 years ago

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Master Fic List ~ updated 7/13/20

Sorry for taking so long to do this...it was brought to my attention that it’s been almost a year since I updated this list and several people have requested it - so here you go, my fully updated and almost completed Master Fic List with links, synopsis, character rosters, pairings, ratings, word/chapter counts, warning tags with squick notices, and update dates.

All fics on this list are posted at AO3 unless noted

*The Loki Reads series is exclusively on tumblr.com

Everything is under the cut because this list is LONG (75 individual works, 13 series, plus published works included at the end of the list)

Fics are categorized by main character (i.e. Loki, Tom Hiddleston as Original Characters, etc)

Series and associated AU’s and side stories are grouped together (Chemical + Prehistories + Troika Apocalyptica + Penumbraluna + Wolfsbane…you get the idea)

Fics are identified as WIP (work in progress) or complete, with associated word counts and chapter amounts. Latest update dates are noted for WIPs.

WARNINGS are notated, though the warning tags at AO3 should be paid attention to because they are far more complete and detailed.

Fic genres (romance, comedy, thriller) are briefly notated but these are general.

There is a link at the end of the list to my published books at Amazon, if you’re interested in those.

This list will be updated as fics update and incomplete information will be added as I have time.

Click READ MORE to see the complete list:

Exclusively on tumblr:

Part 1 - Loki Reads The Night Manager Part 2 - Loki Reads High Rise Part 3 - Loki Reads Fifty Shades of Grey

~WORKS AT AO3~

Word/chapter counts are current as of 7/13/2020

Loki

Jack Montague - WIP - 183,860 words, 65 chapters, ongoing - WARNINGS: hardcore sex, language, violence, sexual deviance, mentions of abuse, mentions of depression, explicit everything, blood/vampyric activities, numerous smutty kinks, and whatever else you can think of. Not kidding, everything in this one is really hardcore. Supernatural romance/adventure in the post-MCU/Post-2012 Avengers. Main character - Loki. Secondary character/love interest - Jack Montague. Relationship - Loki/Jack. Side characters - Adam (OLLA), Thor, Nick Fury, Eve (OLLA), Selina (Sanguine). The Trickster God has been exiled to Earth for a very long time…as the oldest living monster in the realm, he’s bored off his skull and endlessly intrigued when he runs across a monster of an entirely different kind - and strikes up a playful romantic partnership with a vampire who may be far more than he bargained for. *EXTREMELY EXPLICIT* Updated 6/14/20

Sugar Skull - complete - 3115 words. Side story to Jack Montague, part 3 of The Joker And The Thief. Main character - Loki. Side characters - Jack, Thor. WARNINGS: Language, sex. What Loki does every year on Halloween. *MATURE* **also published in the Trickster Tales compendium

The Gucci Incident - complete - 4278 words. Side story to Jack Montague, part 2 of The Joker And The Thief. Main character - Loki. Side characters - Adam. WARNINGS: Mostly language. Loki and his vampire father-in-law Adam chase a pair of bedroom slippers across New York City. *MATURE*

The Trickster’s Wife - complete - 71,001 words, 31 chapters. Post Avengers, MCU. Romance/epic adventure. WARNINGS: Very explicit sex, some language, some violence, very adult themes, mentions of abuse. Main character - Loki. Secondary character/love interest: Princess Anja. Relationship - Loki/Anja. Side characters - Thor, Odin, Frigga, Bragneire. Asgard needs Loki, but Loki has a price - a wife he has no right to ask for. So of course he does just that. *MATURE, EXPLICIT*

The King of All The Rest - WIP - 1444 words, 1 chapter, ongoing (Part 2 of Myths of Asgard) - Sequel to The Trickster’s Wife. Romance/comedy. Main characters - Loki, Bragneire, Anja. Relationship - Loki/Anja. Loki has retired, left Asgard, left the throne, left everything save for one beautiful thing that he’ll never lose again…the wife he fought so hard to keep. WARNINGS: Sex, language. *MATURE*

The King’s Heart - complete - 47,229 words, 21 chapters. WARNINGS: Explicit sex, sexual violence, abuse, language, mental illness, blood, grief, very adult themes. Main character - Loki. Secondary character/love interest - Lyra. Side characters - Thor, Frigga, Aleks Lokisson, several offspring. Post-Avengers UA. Loki has been given the throne, but his apparent madness prevents him from opening his heart to his new queen. *VERY EXPLICIT* **currently being reworked for publication

The Wolf King - complete - 44,315 words, 17 chapters. WARNINGS: Sexual activity, language, some violence, smutty talk from Loki, adult themes. Fluffy adventure/romance. Loki’s son Aleks has been handed the throne, but he doesn’t want it yet - not while there’s a universe to be conquered in “other” more satisfying ways. But a mysterious pair of offworlders have a vested interest in the boy king fulfilling his prophecy the way his famous father did. Main characters - Aleks, Loki. Secondary characters/love interests - Cara, Lyra. Side characters - Thor, The Syl, Sleipnir, Loki’s daughters, some surprise guests at the end. *MATURE*

Lost Creatures - complete - 4929 words. Main characters - Loki, Thor. WARNINGS: Explicit sex, explicit language, violence, male/male. Loki and Thor have always loved as much as they’ve hated…but which of the two emotions is the stronger? *EXPLICIT* **published in the Trickster Tales compendium, original version remains on AO3

Civil Disobedience - complete - 1066 words. WARNINGS: Spanking, nonconsensual. Main character - Loki. Short vignette involving a Dominant Loki and his disobedient plaything. *EXPLICIT* **Rewritten for publication in the Trickster Tales compendium, original version remains on AO3

Mine - complete - 2051 words. WARNINGS: Explicit sex, language, voyeurism, angst. Main character - Loki. Side characters - Thor, the bride. She was one thing over all others…she was mine. *EXPLICIT* **published in the Trickster Tales compendium, original version remains on AO3

THE TEMPEST SERIES

Main character for all parts - Loki. WARNINGS FOR ALL PARTS: Hardcore sex, strong language, some violence, implied bestiality, very heavy smut. All parts complete. Dark romance/thriller.

Part 1 - Darkness Lives In Me - Loki’s fall from grace (1421 words) Part 2 - Before Chaos - Loki plots to take over Midgard (3120 words) Part 3 - After The Maelstrom - Loki kills some time before the conquest (3088) Part 4 - Eye of The Storm - Loki finds a way to…well… (2369 words) Part 5 - Her Side of The Storm - Loki’s chosen conquest tells her side (2476) Part 6 - A Perfect Whirlwind - Loki serves his time, misses his chosen (2928) Part 7 - Cyclone In A Teacup - A conjugal visitation to Midgard (2654 words) Part 8 - An Intemperate Rain - Loki comes bearing gifts (2132 words) Part 9 - Darkening Skies - A trinket with…dubious powers (4304 words) Part 10 - The Nature Of Thunder - Loki, kidnap, what could go wrong? (3325) Part 11 - Lightning Strikes - Fury’s revenge, Loki’s redemption (3905 words)

*All parts of the above series: EXTREMELY EXPLICIT including violent consensual sex*

No Regrets - complete - 1634 words. WARNINGS: Crazy explicit sex, language, absolutely no plot. Smutty comedy. Loki, dad’s throne, and a willing partner…just another Wednesday on Asgard. Main character - Loki. Side characters - woman, Thor, Odin. *EXPLICIT* **published in the Trickster Tales compendium, original version remains on AO3

Whisper - complete - 6440 words, 6 chapters. WARNINGS: Explicit sex, explicit language, threatened explicit violence. Main character - Loki. Side character - woman. Romance. Asgard has fallen while Loki is imprisoned far beneath the city, leaving him the sole survivor - and as the world slowly decays above him, he opens a path to escape through the dreams of a Midgardian female. *EXPLICIT*

The Dragon Queen - complete - 37,503 words, 28 chapters. Main character - Loki. Relationship - Loki/Eira. Romance. WARNINGS: Very hardcore sex, violence, rape, abuse, language, torture. Odin has given up trying to break Loki - until the day he sends his other prized prisoner into the Trickster’s cell. *EXTREMELY EXPLICIT* *WARNING - CONTAINS NONCONSENSUAL SEX SCENES*

The Good Stuff - complete - 3513 words. WARNINGS: Crude explicit language, some smutty sex and references and drunkenness. Comedy. Main characters - Loki and Thor. Side characters - Frigga, Odin, castle servants. Two bored brothers, one long night, and mom’s secret hooch stash - what could go wrong? *MATURE* **published in the Trickster Tales compendium, original version remains on AO3

Smooth Criminal - Part 1 of the Criminal Activity Series - complete - 4252 words. WARNINGS: Explicit sex and dominance. Avengers (2012) adjacent. Where did Loki get that suit anyway? *EXPLICIT* **published in the Trickster Tales compendium, original version remains on AO3

Blue Collar Criminal - Part 2 of the Criminal Activity Series - incomplete - 1171 words. Post-Avengers. WARNINGS: None really, it hasn’t gotten far enough yet. Sitting on the throne is dull as fuck. Might as well hit Asgard again, only this time Loki only intends to conquer one human - the girl from the suit shop. *WILL BE EXPLICIT IF I EVER FINISH IT*

Tom Hiddleston as Original Characters

The Department - WIP - 148,227 words, 37 chapters, ongoing. *UPDATED 7/10/20* Main characters - Greta (OFC), Chief (Tom Hiddleston). Side characters - Andy (Andrew Hozier-Byrne), Cree (Jason Momoa), Cade (Chris Evans), Kevin (Dave Bautista), Hawk (David Tennant), Sarah (Sarah Lancashire), Ted (Sebastian Stan), Wilson (Owen Wilson). Pairings: Greta/Chief, Greta/Andy (FWB). Comedy/romance. WARNINGS: Explicit sex, explicit crude language, sexist banter, minor violence. Greta arrives in a small town in Minnesota to wait out her disciplinary review after an on the job accident and struggles to survive a crackpot stationhouse full of cops who may or may not be quite what they seem…while trying really hard not to fall in love with the Chief. *EXPLICIT* - updates weekly (Sundays) **now off hiatus!

Hammer Of The Gods - WIP - 29,935 words - 28/30 chapters, ongoing. *UPDATED 4/18/20* Main characters - Jake (Tom Hiddleston), Tate (OFC), Pete (Chris Hemsworth). Pairing: Jake/Tate. WARNINGS: hardcore language, explicit sex, mild/brief violence, referenced mental/emotional/verbal abuse. AU Loki and Thor as human construction workers renovating a house next door to a recently divorced mom who really needs to learn how to live again. *EXPLICIT*

Sunflower - WIP - 33,577 words - 13/15 chapters, ongoing. Main characters - Tommy (Tom Hiddleston), Chloe (OFC/Dove Cameron). Side characters - Amy (Sarah Wayne Callies), Martin (Idris Elba), Blake (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) , Tony (Robert Downey Jr). Pairing: Tommy/Chloe. Sweet romance. Don’t park in the disabled spot unless you’re ready to fall in love with the girl you stole it from. WARNINGS: Sex, mild language, injury description. *MATURE*

THE MCCLARY CHRONICLES

Part 1 - Sgaile Leannan - complete - 58,066 words, 20 chapters. Main characters - King McClary (Tom Hiddleston), Molly Thompkin (OFC). Romance. Molly arrives in Scotland on a work assignment and meets her nemesis - the surly kilted sheep farmer who owns the land she’s trespassing on. WARNINGS: Very explicit sex, explicit language, mild violence. This story was rewritten for publication with changes - original version remains on AO3. *EXPLICIT*

Part 2 - Samhach Mhiannan - complete - 78,763 words, 25 chapters. Molly returns home to Philadelphia with a little secret - and her world flips upside down when King shows up at her door months later. SAME WARNINGS AS PART 1. This story was rewritten for publication with minor changes - original version remains on AO3. *EXPLICIT*

Part 3 - Na Binne an Leann - complete - 77,600 words, 25 chapters. Molly moves to Scotland to be with King, but her future with the cranky sheepherder is, as always, shaky and uncertain. SAME WARNINGS AS PARTS 1 AND 2. This story was rewritten for publication with minor changes - original version remains on AO3. *EXPLICIT*

A Meeting With The King - complete - 2507 words. Side story to The McClary Chronicles. What really happened that day at Clendon Williams when King met Ian, told from King’s POV. WARNINGS: Some language, mild violence. *MATURE*

Aingeal Ard - WIP - 16,297 words - 16/20 chapters, ongoing. *UPDATED 10/14/19* WARNINGS: rough language, explicit sex. Main characters - King McClary (Tom Hiddleston), Molly Thompkin (OFC). A retelling of Sgaile Leannan from King’s POV, chapter by chapter. *EXPLICIT*

Chemical and its Related Side Stories

Chemical - incomplete version, ended - 263,007 words, 58 chapters. This story was rewritten and completed for publication in two volumes with major changes - the original version minus the final chapters and epilogue remain at AO3. AU Loki/Tom Hiddleston as a bartender in San Diego who falls for the last girl he should ever look at - who just happens to be his soulmate. Main characters - Tom Heyworth (Tom Hiddleston), Anja Black (OFC). Side characters - Chris (Chris Hemsworth), Ewan (Ewan McGregor), Pop Heyworth, Cara, Kady, Robert Laing, Eric (Michael Fassbender). Romance. WARNINGS: Extremely hardcore sex of all kinds, language, mild violence, references to past sexual abuse and child abuse. *EXTREMELY EXPLICIT, NOT REMOTELY KIDDING*

THE CHEMICAL PREHISTORIES

All parts complete, all parts MATURE AND/OR EXPLICIT for sex, language, references to past abuse, mild drug use. **This series of shorts have now been published as Volume Three of the Chemical books

SIR - Characters: Anja’s mother and her lover; young Anja Das Vorspiel - Characters: Alicia and The Boss Quiet Gods - Narrator: Eva. Characters: Eva, Tom, Chris Medialuna - the original unused ending to Chemical Two Princes - Narrator: Anja ADDITIONAL WARNING: character death The Mechanic - Narrator: Chris. Characters: Chris, Tom, Anja Eidolon - Narrator: Emma. Characters: Emma, Tom, Anja ADDITIONAL WARNING: disturbing imagery, imagined character death, mental illness The Scottish Barman - Narrator: Ewan. Characters: Ewan, Tom, Anja Taos - Narrator: Alicia ADDITIONAL WARNING: character death Girly - Narrator: Anja

Penumbraluna - complete - 19,179 words, 10 chapters. Main characters - Tom and Chris (as teens). Side character - Meredith Hemberley. Coming of age. WARNINGS: Strong language, references to sexual abuse and child abuse, mild drug and alcohol use, male/male (brief), semi-explicit sex, character death. Tom’s friendship with Chris, from the day they met as kids up to the point where Chemical begins. *VERY MATURE THEMES* **This novella has been published as part of Chemical Volume Three

See You After The Apocalypse - Part 1 of the Troika Apocalyptica series - complete - 5414 words. Chemical AU, post-Chemical - Tom, Anja, Chris, Pop, Cara, and Tom & Anja’s two babies have all survived the zombie outbreak, hunkered down in the cabin in Big Bear. But Tom sends Anja and the two little ones away with Chris when the mountain is overrun with the undead. Will they find each other alive when it’s all over? WARNINGS: Suspense, mild violence. *MATURE*

Meet Me In Phoenix - Part 2 of Troika Apocalyptica - incomplete - Characters: Tom, Anja, Pop, Chris, Cara. Chemical AU in which Tom & company survive a zombie apocalypse, are separated, and embark on a cross country quest to find each other again. WARNINGS: language and some sexual references. *MATURE*

Wolfsbane - complete - 1826 words. Tom/Anja Chemical AU side story. Assassins in love. Tom and Anja are agents assigned to bump each other off, if they can stop seducing each other long enough to pull the trigger. WARNINGS: Language, sex, mild violence.

Tales From Quarantine - ongoing, limited series of oneshots - 6171 words currently, 2 chapters. Short stories featuring several of my fic couples in lockdown during the covid-19 crisis: Tom and Anja from Chemical, Jack and Loki from Jack Montague, Molly and King from The McClary Chronicles, Adam/Eve/Selina from Sanguine, Jake and Tate from Hammer of The Gods, Tommy and Chloe from Sunflower, Greta and Chief from The Department. WARNINGS: explicit sex and language

Tom Hiddleston as Himself:

Body Double - complete - 143,489 words, 40 chapters. WARNINGS: Explicit sex, language, references to past sexual and physical abuse, brief reference to miscarriage, heavy Dom/sub undertones. Main character - Tom Hiddleston (as himself). Secondary character/love interest - Anna (OFC). Side characters - Chris Hemsworth, Ian. Pairing: Tom/Anna. Romance. An actor and a body double working on his film embark on a romantic relationship after the movie wraps. *VERY EXPLICIT*

Other TH Original Characters:

Burn - complete (will fill in this summary ASAP)

Would You Like To Play A Game? - complete (will fill in this summary ASAP)

Golden Boy - incomplete (will fill in this summary ASAP)

Awakening - complete - RPF - (will fill in this summary ASAP)

Beautiful Disaster - complete (will fill in this summary ASAP) **this fic has been partly rewritten and published, the original version remains on AO3

Dandelion Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 - complete (will fill in summary ASAP)

Broken Petals - A Magnus Martinsson fic - incomplete

Yes Please, Magnus - Magnus Martinsson fic - complete

Weekly Meetings of The Most Useless Muses in The History of Fanfiction - incomplete - 23,802 words, 22 chapters. Pretty much what it sounds like. Characters - all of them. WARNINGS: All of them.

Adam - Only Lovers Left Alive

Sanguine - complete - 28,795 words, 16 chapters. Main character - Adam. Secondary characters - Selina, Eve. Romance/mystery. WARNINGS: Very explicit sex and violence, language, vampirism, blood, pregnancy, rape. A redemption tale twisted up in an epic love story between a vampire and a mortal who break a few rules and make a few of their own in the process. *EXPLICIT*

(Adam is also a prominent character in JACK MONTAGUE and THE GUCCI INCIDENT)

Thomas Oakley - Unrelated

Sleep - complete - 1471 words. WARNINGS: Sex and language. Thomas Oakley is chosen for a college sleep studies program. Too bad the only thing that puts him to sleep is an orgasm. *MATURE*

Tom Hiddleston - Jaguar Promo

The Way of The Cat - complete (summary will be filled in ASAP)

Andrew Hozier-Byrne

THE TALIESIN SERIES

Part 1 - Nobody - complete - 3293 words. Romance/fantasy. WARNINGS: character death, raunchy language, implied sex, implied drug use. A perpetually reincarnating Celtic deity (Andrew Hozier-Byrne) just won’t stop causing problems for the Pantheon, no matter how many times they reboot him and his lover. Loosely based on the song. *MATURE*

Part 2 - Shrine Of Your Lies - WIP - 1011 words, 2/15 chapters, ongoing. Romance/fantasy. WARNINGS: Explicit sex, some language, some implied violence. Taliesin (Andrew Hozier-Byrne) and his lover have been reincarnated again, this time without any memory of who they are - or of each other. Fate won’t let them wander for long though and their paths cross over two parallel lifetimes. *MATURE* - this fic may not be updated on AO3 as I plan to change the background setting and include it in the upcoming WICKLOW HOUSE book of short stories

(Andrew Hozier-Byrne is also a prominent character in THE DEPARTMENT)

Can Yaman

Kiz Yan Kapi - The Girl Next Door - WIP - 5533 words, 3/10 chapters (will fill in this summary ASAP)

Chris Hemworth

Thor’s Beard - complete - 3163 words (Part 2 of Forgotten Gods, side story to Hammer Of The Gods). WARNINGS: Explicit sex, language. Pete from HoTG hooks up with Jake’s older sister and a battery operated device. *EXPLICIT*

See You After The Apocalypse - see above under The Chemical Prehistories

(CH is also a major character in Hammer Of The Gods and Chemical)

Allan Hawco/Frontier inspired

A Wife For Mister Brown - complete (will fill in this summary ASAP)

Et Tu, Mister Brown? - complete (will fill in this summary ASAP)

~~PUBLISHED BOOKS~~

All of the following are available at amazon.com in both paperback and Kindle formats:

Sgaile Leannan - Rewritten from AO3 version with changes/additions. Sex, language, adult situations. *EXPLICIT*

Samhach Mhiannan - Rewritten from AO3 version with some changes/additions. Sex, language, adult situations. *EXPLICIT*

Na Binne an Leann - Rewritten from AO3 version with minor changes/additions. Sex, language, adult situations. *EXPLICIT*

Chemical Volume One - Rewritten from AO3 with major changes/additions. Sex, language, adult situations, references to past child abuse. *EXTREMELY EXPLICIT*

Chemical Volume Two - Rewritten from AO3 with major changes/additions (includes the final three chapters, ending, and epilogue that are not included in the AO3 version). Sex, language, adult situations, references to past child abuse. *EXTREMELY EXPLICIT*

Chemical Volume Three - The Prehistories and Penumbraluna - a compilation of the Chem shorts and the novella (some are partially rewritten) *EXPLICIT and VERY ADULT THEMES*

Here And There - Book One of The Strada Series - not associated with any AO3 fics. Sex, language, violence. Paranormal romance. A man falls out of the sky - literally - and Holly’s quiet existence goes all kinds of sideways when his otherworldly nemesis follows and the two of them end up in her bed…and inextricably in her life. The Strada have been here longer than mankind, but their existence has been closed off to the “There” - a dimensional prison realm that separates them from the humans by a split second of time. When the protective barrier between the dimensions begins weakening, the most dangerous creatures ever created start coming across to wage war against their own kind, using the world of the humans as a battlefield. Two angelic criminals - Keene and his soulmate Baltho - have been conscripted to regain control...but do either of them want to? And perhaps more importantly, can they stop fighting with each other long enough to do their one job? *EXPLICIT SEX, violence*

The Carmichael Addendum - not associated with any AO3 fics. Sex, language, violence. Paranormal/supernatural romance. Clarissa is one of a final few peacekeepers left in a world where the monsters have quietly retreated into myth - but the local library has started spitting immortals and werewolves out through a rift in the Genealogy section, and it’s time for the last two slayers - Clarissa and her ex-husband Kaine - to come out of retirement. But orchestrating peace with the enemy is a difficult undertaking when you can’t even work out a visitation schedule with the ex and your self-help divorce group is peopled with oddly sexy males of dubious origin. A heated love triangle with monsters on the side and a middle-aged single mom heroine who’s more than a few years past her prime. *EXPLICIT SEX, violence, language, adult themes*

Trickster Tales - a compilation of seven Loki fics that originally appeared on AO3 (most were rewritten to varying degrees for publication). Includes Mine, The Good Stuff, Civil Disobedience, Smooth Criminal, Lost Souls, No Regrets, and Sugar Skull. *EXPLICIT SEX and adult themes*

Beautiful Disaster - a short romance in three acts - *adult themes*

*All of the above are available in both paperback and Kindle format

Complete officially published works on my author page at Amazon

#master fic list #lokilickedme #Hiddleston fic #Loki fic #Hemsworth #Hozier #Momoa #Gandy #AO3 works #original works #published works #here it all is

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daz4i · 4 years ago

Note

💜

ty legend!!!!!! 💜

my brain is like “if i don’t talk abt how much i love sakusa right now i WILL cry” so guess i’ll just ramble abt my boy. i don’t have anything interesting to say that isn’t just deconstruction of canon in a sense and very different from my usual rambles so uuuuuh tldr i love omi and chapter 394 means a lot to me

manga spoilers under the cut

ok. so. one very cool and sexy thing about him is how he remembers everything???? literally the first time he met hinata when he joined msby he talked abt something that happened 6 years ago and he barely had any reason to remember in the first place. like damn

also i think the whole thing about how he thinks abt hinata and hoshi like “they didn’t get lucky with their body types” is partially bc he really took ushijima’s “i got lucky” words to heart, and he feels that way about himself too! and he’s right. self aware king

i think in addition to the whole being lucky thing ofc he worked hard. like. we see him do intense and super long spiking drills to make sure he’s doing his best, and his nature never half-assing anything definitely played part in it

speaking of. his thing with having to finish everything. relatable king. one of the reasons i hc him as autistic and i won’t be surprised if it’s one of the reasons ppl hc him to have ocd. solidarity

ANYWAY one thing i see ppl maybe kinda misinterpreting abt him is how they think he hates people? which. i guess if you really simplify things you could phrase it like that. but it’s not exactly right

we know he grew up p lonely, not much family around to show him proper affection i’m assuming, and no friends other than his cousin which def contributed to that

also, mixing in his fear of germs, obviously it’s hard being in places with lots of people, or touching them, or interacting with anyone who doesn’t take care of their hygiene or with people who won’t respect his boundaries (bc like. saying this as an autistic person. i totally get that last part, and we even know more or less what a good chunk of sakusa’s boundaries are bc of his fear of germs)

sooooo you end up getting a man who might pass off as “rude” and “unsociable” but really he’s just taking care of himself yknow? he’s perfectly valid to hate crowds, to wear a mask in public, to be disgusted by people leaving the bathroom without washing their hands etc etc

but! that’s a big but! most of it is related to strangers, not his own friends (and that’s also why he befriended people like ushijima and iizuna!! bc he knew they’re “safe”)!! like one fanon pet peeve i have is when ppl make him to be rude to his own teammates for example when. listen

one scene i see used as example of him being ~cold~ or ~mean~ is the first time we see him post timeskip, in the monster generation reunion, the whole “you’d better have gotten your flu shots” thing. part of why he might pass this way is atsumu’s dramatic reaction to it if anything tbh

idk if nts get this but. this is him showing concern/worry? 3 of his teammates are there so obviously he doesn’t want them to get sick, also his long-time friend (ushijima) whom he obviously cares for. there’s no malice in what he says. he shows that he cares through making sure these people are okay and healthy

other occasions is when,, what? he calls people out on doing something dumb? i def don’t think he’s trying to be rude, only adhering to rules of basic manners and trying to keep them from embarrassing themselves and through it the entire team

like. he’s just direct! that’s a good thing!!!! pls leave my man alone he’s not rude he’s just different from you

(also other ppl pointed this out before but. the scene where he lies on the ground with hinata next to him! is a good example that he feels comfortable enough with other people, as long as they respect his boundaries!! hinata isn’t touching him or sitting too close, but they’re still together! and some time later he’s trash talking with atsumu so they’re clearly friends too! like he doesn’t hate people he just shows love, kindness, and caring in his own unique way!!!!!! real king shit!!!!!)

one aspect of him that i noticed i personally fixate on a lot when it comes to characterizing him is his need for control, if anything

the go-to scenes for that is p much any time we see him behave according to his fear of germs really. but they’re not the only ones!!

it’s like what i mentioned, teammates about to do something embarrassing for example. unless he stops them in time, he’s losing his control over the situation.

his whole thing with never leaving anything unfinished, definitely playing part in it. i totally get it too tbh. if you leave, for example, a puzzle unfinished, people can come and touch it, move things around from where you last left them, put in pieces before you do, etc.

if he’s got a goal he decided on ahead of time - 1000 spike drills? - and he reaches it, he’s had full control of the situation from start to finish.

it’s a good coping mechanism tbh, esp when you’re going to inevitably feel out of control (which is very likely when you’re touch averted but still interact with people, hate crowds but obviously have to go through them, etc etc)

that’s also probably another reason why itachiyama’s loss in nationals left a mark on him, i think? like. he’s thinking about it 6 years later in the middle of a game during his professional career. and ik it’s bc it’s a story device but shhhh.

but yeah! the whole “even though we practiced everything like we were supposed to”, and seeing a captain he admired crumble and cry over this unexpected loss too. these are both rough things to go through, i think. still, as he said, he didn’t have anything to regret about it because there was not much else he could do anyway. still, i doubt it didn’t hurt

but i think that’s what makes that special thing™ about him all the most interesting and symbolic! his flexible wrists and the way he uses them! such a good way to have more control than others in this game!!!! he can control parts of himself that others can’t!!!!! he’s got full control!!!! woah!!!!!!! yeah this counts as symbolism bc i said so :D

but this is also part of where his behaviour is coming from! like, it’s hard to keep control over a situation that involves more people. you can’t control other people. they behave in unexpected ways, some of these ways may not align with your personal needs. ofc you’d be cautious in those situations if control is something you need!

aaaaaah anyway yeah, this isn’t going anywhere nor is there a point, i just love him omg. stan sakusa kiyoomi for a clear skin and a good 2021

#there may be some connections and parts that don't make sense aksfhjd i'm sleepyyyyy #and yet i wrote 1200 words about the fact i love kiyoomi. ok. i'm normal.#dan rambles #again sorry for any typos!!!! :')#living up to my pinned post. this is an omi omi love blog #thestarsshone

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you-a-southpaw-doll · 5 years ago

Text

Buzzed - A Negan One-Shot

Summary: After an incident in the Sanctuary, Leigh takes matters into her own hands. What will Negan’s response be?

Warning(s): Language. Angst. Attempted rape. Violence. Death. Slight Panic Attack. Anxiety. Leigh being a badass. Negan caught off guard (no pun intended). Mentions of what could be considered self-harm. Daddy kink, but not really. You’ll see. Protective Negan. Fluff. Sexual Innuendoes. Puns (Sorry Not Sorry!). Happy ending. Not Beta’d. I just finished writing this and had to post it! Sorry for any errors.

Author’s Note(s):

I cut my hair myself, usually every 2 weeks, but no more than 3 weeks. I just can’t have my hair touch my ears; it makes my anxiety 10 times worse, and in a way, I kinda explain the reason behind that in this story. I was cutting my hair tonight, (it’s now 2:30 am, 5/24/2020) and I thought of this story idea and Negan’s reaction to the main character having short hair.

Also, if any of the warnings are triggering for you, please don’t force yourself to read. The last thing I’d want to do is trigger someone into having a panic attack. Feel free to give me any feedback, thoughts, questions, comments and/or concerns you have with the story. I love hearing from y’all!

As always, if you’d like to be added to my taglist, just let me know and I’ll happily add you!!

Word Count: 5,301. (A lot, I know, but I think it’s worth it, and I just couldn’t get everything I wanted across in less words, so enjoy!)

Relationship(s): Negan x Leigh Sullivan (OFC)

Characters: Negan. Leigh Sullivan (OFC). Simon. Dr. Carson. 3 unnamed Original Male Characters. Sanctuary People.

Taglist: @negans-network @prettyboynegan @mychemicalimagines @spnnnxangelsx @rockinkel21 @misskittycat02 @band--psycho@ofxallxwexlost @iron-halt @thamberlinawrites @ravenwings73 @lettherebepink @stoneyggirl

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Story Time:

Leigh’s P.O.V. ~ Then

They’d caught me off guard, for once.

Normally, I never let anything or anyone catch me off guard. Or at least...I tried not to. Due to having anxiety, I was usually hyper-aware of shit going on. But, today, my anxiety had eased off after the relaxing morning I’d had with my husband. We’d spent the morning, snuggled up in his big king-sized bed, just shooting the shit and goofing off.

He didn’t have to go out on a run today, so there was no need to rush the morning like we normally had to 95% of the time. Eventually, though, the day had to get started. Dwight came knocking on the door, interrupting our relaxation time, saying he needed my husband for something. Being the man my husband is, he grumbled, cussed Dwight out, and then got outta bed while apologizing to me for the interruption and assuring me we’d finish relaxing when he got back later.

After a kiss, and a soft “I love you,” he was gone. Off to do what he did. It was my day off, so I laid in bed for a little longer before I too got up, dressed, and made my rounds. As the top female Savior, something I’d worked my ass off, fought for, and took seriously, I said hi to who I needed to, did what I needed to, and finally, sat down under my favorite tree out by the greenhouses.

I laid my leather jacket on the ground next to me, leaving me in my usually black t-shirt, holey but patched up and well worn blue jeans, and faded brown leather boots. Strapped to each thigh was a holster. In the right one was my signature gun, a .357 Magnum, 6-shot revolver. In the left holster, I kept my handcrafted 6 inch blade that I made back when I was 15, well over half a decade, shit closer to a decade ago, considering I was almost 25.

Bending my knees, and pulling them close in a comfortable position, I propped up the notebook I usually kept in my leather satchel with two backup knives, an extra gun, ammo, and a spare notebook for work along with several pens and pencils. The writing equipment was a rare commodity these days, so I always kept them close to me.

As I was writing a story I’d started a few days prior, I zoned out just a bit, focusing on it. I’d started writing when I was just 12 years old, and kept the habit up, even now, 3 years after the world ended and the dead started walking back in 2020 after the Coronavirus outback after the new year, new decade had started.

I was writing, losing myself in the words I printed on the paper in my chicken scratch. I say chicken scratch ‘cause, well...that’s basically what it was. As a lefty, my handwriting wasn’t necessarily the best, and a doctor’s prescription note was probably more legible. It was a mixture between slanted and curved print and semi-elegant at times cursive.

But, it was my handwriting, and I could read it. My husband sometimes had difficulty reading it, but he’d always put his black-rimmed glasses on, and fuck if they didn’t make him look sexier than he already was. Because of that, I sneakily wrote a little sloppier when I knew he’d have to read something from my notes about the runs I went on.

It was all an excuse to see him with those glasses perched on his nose, giving him that sexy professor look. He thought they made him look ridiculous, but I loved it. Since I was writing and zoned out, I wasn’t nearly as focused on my surroundings. I didn’t think I had to be. The tree was my safe spot when I wasn’t with my husband.

The Sanctuary was a relatively safe place, and that was thanks to the rules that were in place. So, it’d make sense that I wouldn’t focus on my surroundings as much and relax a bit as I wrote. But, boy was I wrong. I just didn’t realize it till it was far too late. Before I realized what was happening, I was being punched in the right side of my face, slinging my head to the side, as my notebook and bag were jerked away from me and my hair was roughly pulled, jerking my head backwards.

I went to grab my gun and my knife, but they’d already been taken from me. My eyes flirted back and forth in front of me, trying to process what was going on. But, everything was blurry and I was dizzy from the hit. I could barely make out three men close to me, far too close to me. They were basically on top of me.

Fuck. One of them actually was. I could feel the weight of him straddling my thighs, keeping me from standing. I couldn’t hear anything as the beating of my heart flooded my ears. I tried to fight back as best as I could, but the other two men grabbed my hands and jerked them away from my body and pinning them to the ground as they shoved my upper body down.

When they jerked my arms away, I felt, more than heard, my left shoulder dislocate. I clenched my jaw. The pain wasn’t anything new. I’d been dealing with a shoulder that dislocates when I fuckin’ sneeze since I was 13 years old. The pain, when it happened, was now at a tolerable level since I was so used to it happening.

I didn’t cry out. I knew not to. Plus, the wasn’t the type of person I was. I knew what was ‘bout to happen. It, like my shoulder, was something I’d had to put with for years growing. It wasn’t anything new either. But, that didn’t mean it was enjoyable. It was anything but. I barely processed my jeans being jerked down my hips and past my knees.

I could just barely hear the men laughing and joking around with each other, talking ‘bout what they were going to do to me and wondering why the fuck I was wearing two pairs of boxers under my jeans. I watched them, as best as I could with my vision being what it was. When the blurriness faded just enough, I could make out their features and recognized them as members of the new group that was brought in last week.

Members I’d brought into the Sanctuary. Into my house. I dropped my head back down to the ground and groaned to myself. I let my body go slack, waiting for the perfect time. When the men realized I wasn’t struggling anymore, they laughed and the two dumbfucks holding my arms down eased up on their grip.

The man on my legs lifted himself up just enough push his own pants down. Their easing up on their grip was their mistake and ultimately what led to their demise. Since they weren’t paying attention to me, thinking I’d just given up, and instead focusing on getting their baby carrot sized dicks outta their pants, I was able to strike back.

I immediately brought both my hands up, fingers curled in to form perfect fists without worry of possibly breaking my thumbs, ignoring the protest of my left shoulder, and cocked both the men on my sides straight in the noses. I internally smiled at the sounds of their noses breaking and their screams of pain.

They stumbled back just a little bit, hands covering their faces as they clutched their noses in an attempt to stop the extensive amount of blood falling. Clearly, I caught the man on top me off guard with my actions and he was shocked for a moment. It was perfect. I bucked him up off me, managed to jerk my pants up as I stood.

All one fluid motion.

Since he was still obviously in shock at me suddenly fighting back, he stumbled, tripping, and falling backwards on the ground. He tried to scurry backwards as fast as as he could. Despite being 5’3”, I was able to stay with him. I slammed my boot down on his stomach, making him howl in pain and wheeze as he struggled to get the air back that i’d just forced outta his lungs.

I kept my foot on his gut, putting most of my weight on it, digging the worn sole into his abdomen. He let out a sad excuse for a grunt as I did. I just smirked. This fucked had no idea who he’d fucked, or tried to fuck with. I leaned down and started pummeling the shit outta his face, keeping him in place with my foot.

Since he couldn’t get fresh air back into his lungs because of the position of my foot, he was too weak to try and fight back. To say I was a little disappointed at not having a challenge, would be like saying the dead weren’t walking around. It was a lie. I was disappointed, and I fueled that disappointment in with the anger as I literally beat him to death.

He kept trying to apologize, tried to plead with me, to not kill him, but I didn’t give a fuck. He was ‘bout to rape me, and I’d had ‘nough of that in my life. I wasn’t putting up with it. I eased up just before I knew he was about to die. Gave him false hope into letting him think his words had affected me. I let him get one last breath in as I completely lifted my foot off his torso.

“Than-” He started to say, but I cut him off as I slammed my boot into his face, effectively crushing his skull.

“Don’t fuckin’ thank me, prick.” I muttered to him as I wiped my boot off on his once clean but now bloody clothes. “You fuckin’ ruined my goddamn favorite fuckin’ pair of boots, asshole.”

Before I turned away from him, I spit on his crushed skull. Since it was destroyed, I didn’t have to worry ‘bout him coming back as a dean’un. I was a little sad that I wouldn’t get to kill him a second time, but he’d gotten what he deserved. Turning to the other two dumbfucks, I repeated my actions, and did to them exactly what I’d just done to their friend.

I knew my husband was going to be pissed that I killed these men, instead of letting him do it, but I’d deal with that. I wasn’t going to let these fuckers back inside the relatively safe concrete walls of the factory that was the Sanctuary. By the time I was down stomping in the skull of the third man, I looked up, as I finished, and noticed that I’d gathered quite an audience.

Including Simon. The right-hand man, third person in charge of the Sanctuary. His, and everyone else’s, eyes were wide, and everyone was silent. I knew I was gonna be in trouble since they’d just seen me stomp the life outta three men, but I didn’t give a fuck. I had shit to do. I gathered up my weapons, my jacket, and bag after shoving my shit into it and stormed inside the Sanctuary, flipping everyone off, not wanting to deal with their gawking.

Not caring ‘bout my bloody appearance, I made my way to the commissary, needing to grab a few things before I went back to my room. I found what I needed: a new pair of jeans identical to the ones i was wearing, a new t-shirt, undergarments, a pair of boots and a special item, an unopened, brand new boxed set of hair clippers.

Once I had what I needed, I stormed up to the room I share with my husband, stripping down to my bra and one pair of boxers when i get there.

Leigh’s P.O.V. ~ Now

“What the fuck was that fuckin’ shit out there, Leigh?!?”

I sigh as I hear my husband storm into our room, the door slamming shut behind him. I look at myself in the mirror as I lay the scissors down on the bathroom counter by the sink and pick up the clippers. Turning them on, I don’t reply to my husband. Not wanting to explain to him what happened at the moment.

I stare at myself in the mirror as I bring the clippers up to my shortened hair. I press the #2 guard to my head and move it backwards from my forehead to the back of my head, sticking to the once familiar hairline I used to see and live by religiously. I watch as the hair falls, joining the rest of my once long, curly locks, on the floor by my feet. I use my fingers to guide my movements, making sure I don’t go too high and completely fuck up my hair.

Once I have the hairline visible, separating what I want to keep and what I want to shave off, I move the guard down below my ear and with practiced ease, I shave the sides and back of head, getting rid of the hair. Keeping an eye on myself, making sure I don’t fuck up my haircut, not that I would since I used to do this every 2-3 weeks, I watch as my husband steps into the bathroom.

I watch as his eyes nearly bulge outta their sockets when he sees me. I watch as the anger vanishes from his face and body, being replaced with worry, sadness, and a hint of curiosity. I watch as his eyes traveling over the reflection of my face in the mirror, taking in my black eye, bruised and split open cheek, covered in blood and even the nasty black eye I’m now sporting.

I watch as he slowly moves his eyes up to meet mine in the mirror.

“What...what are you doing?” He asks softly.

My left eyebrow shoots sky high as I look at him. My husband rarely says a sentence without cussing every other word. And yet...he just asked a simple question without one sentence enhancer thrown in.

“What the fuck’s it look like I’m doing? I’m cutting my hair.” I say. “Decided I needed a new fuckin’ look. Don’t you fuckin’ love it?”

I know I’m being Captain fuckin’ Obvious at the moment, and a bit harsh, but I’m not ready to tell him what happened. That’s for after I get done. Cutting my hair is the only thing keeping me from completely shutting down and giving in to the panic attack that’s trying to take over. I watch as he lets out a deep breath as he slowly steps into the bathroom, padding across the tiled floor to me.

He places his hands on my shoulders and I do my best not to flinch. But he still sees it and quickly lifts his hands off me, holding them up in a surrendering pose. I know he’d never hurt me, and he was the one to save my life after this shit hole of a world started three years ago. But, I can’t help it. The feeling of those fuckers’ hands on me, plus the fact that my shoulder is still dislocated, keeps me from wanting to be touched.

“Can...let me help. Please, sweetheart.” My husband’s soft drawl meets my ears.

“No. I need to do this myself.” I reply, tightening my grip on the clippers.

I watch as his Adam’s apple bobs up and down in his throat as he swallows deeply and nods. I keep my eyes on his in the mirror and finish cutting my hair. It’s been three years since I’ve cut my hair, but the muscle memory is still there. It’s like riding a bike. My husband watches as I finish shaving the sides of my head down to where there’s just a bit of peach fuzz.

Switching the clippers off, I replace the guard with a #1 and go back over the bottom hairline on the base of my neck. Once I have that done, I take the guard off completely and just put the metal of the clippers to the back of my neck doing my best not to flinch at the burning heat coming off it as it meets my skin.

I take that little strip down so there’s no hair there, running along along the hairline on my neck. I use the blending guard and even out the area, making the hair have a fade. Replacing the blending guard with the #7, I bring it up to the patch of hair on my head, and trim it down. When I finish, my feet are covered with a mountain of what used to be the long, thick, curly hair on my head.

My neck and shoulders are also covered with the little strands of hair that I buzzed off. Setting the clippers on the counter, I run my hands over the buzz cut I now sport and take in a deep, shaky breath. I let my head drop down, pressing my chin to chest and take another shaky breath in after letting out one.

“Baby?” My husband asks softly.

I lift my head and look up at him. My eyes roam over the unzipped black leather jacket he’s wearing over his standard white t-shirt and down to the grey jeans he’s wearing, held up by two leather belts. I let my eyes rest on his feet, no longer hidden by his own pair of black combat boots, but rather a pair of white socks.

Taking in another deep breath, I bring my eyes up to meet his. I can see the worry swimming in his muddy water brown eyes. I shake my head as i start to take my bra off and push my boxers down, stepping outta them as the pool ‘round my ankles.

“I need a shower.” I mumble and step ‘round him to walk to the stunning shower we share.

I grip the knobs tightly as I turn the water on, as hot as it’ll go. I need to feel the pain of the burning water over my skin. If I don’t, I know I’ll give in to that panic attack that’s already on the verge of consuming me. Stepping into the shower, I glance back at my husband over my shoulder.

“You can…” I mumble.

He nods as he understands what I’m trying to say. I look away, for the first time since we met, and eventually became intimate, not wanting to watch him undress. I know that if I were to watch, I’d see those assholes tugging their pants down, and I don’t want that. I don’t want my husband to be mixed in with them.

Standing under the burning hot water, feeling it flow over and pelt my skin, I bring my hands up and tightly grip what’s left of my hair, tugging on it. I feel Negan step into the shower, behind me. I don’t have to look. I know he’s there. I can feel the heat rolling off his skin, along with the worry and helplessness.

He hasn’t seen me like this in three years, and even then, it wasn’t this bad. I blindly reach for the bottle of men’s body wash he and I share and I vigorously scrub my body with it. Trying to get the touch and the blood of those men off me. It takes four harsh washes and rinses before I even begin to feel clean.

Negan just stands behind me, leaning against the back wall of the shower. He’s giving me my space while still letting me know he’s right there if I need him. The bottle slips outta my hands when I go to pour more of the soapy liquid into my palm. I’d leave it there, but Negan gently reaches around me, picking it up.

I hear the bottle open and can tell he’s pouring some into his own hands. I figure he’s just gonna wash his body until I feel his soft and gentle touch on my skin. I flinch and tremble at first, but eventually give into the feeling of him touching me. He takes his time, gently washing me, letting me get clean for the final time.

Letting me know that it’s ok. That it’s over. That’s he’s got me. That he’ll take care of me. Neither of us say a word as he takes the removable showerhead from it’s dock and gently rinses me off after he turns the cold water on, letting the temperature of the water mix until it’s no longer burning, but rather warm and gentle.

He lets the showerhead drop and dangle as he turns the water off and steps out. I keep my eyes closed and feel him wrap a soft towel around me. I open my eyes and bring them to meet his, only to find him staring at my dislocated shoulder. He blinks and his tongue darts out just a little from between his lips.

“Want me to put it back in place, sweetheart?”

I nod slowly.

“Put your right arm ‘round my waist, baby, and I will.”

I follow his soft command and a moment later, I feel his palms against my left shoulder. He’s helped me pop my shoulder back into place enough over the last few years that he knows what he’s doing. I suck in a deep, shaky breath right as he pops it back into place. I bit my lip to hold back the whimper from the pain.

As soon as he’s done, he wraps both his arms ‘round me and just holds me close as I bury my face against his wet chest. We don’t say another word for a solid 10 minutes. He just holds me as we stand in the bathroom, water pooling ‘round our feet. Eventually, he gently scoops me up in his arms and carries me to bed.

Sitting down on it, he just holds me in his lap, not saying anything. I know it’s his way of helping me get outta the panic attack and also letting me know that he’s listening when I’m ready to talk. It takes me a hot minute before I get the words out, and even then they’re just a whisper.

“They...they were trying to rape me.”

I hear him let out a growl and his arms tighten ‘round me, protectively. That’s his number one rule. Rape is not allowed. Followed by the prohibition of abusing women and children. He doesn’t say a word, letting me continue. I tell him everything that happened, as I tremble in his arms. He just holds me close, softly rubbing my back and taking even breaths to help me subconsciously focus on keeping my own breathing even.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there, baby.” He finally murmurs after I finish recounting the events. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that. They got what they deserved. I just wish I could’ve introduced them to Lucille.”

My eyes flirt over to the barbed-wire baseball bat propped up against the wall by our bedroom door. She’s surprisingly clean. I guess Negan didn’t have to dish out any punishments today. Only I did.

“I’m so fuckin’ proud of you, though, baby.” He whispers in my ear.

I look up at him, confused. “Proud?”

He nods. “Mmhhmm. You shut that shit down, and kept your cool until you were up here. I don’t know how you fuckin’ managed that, but I’m not surprised. I heard what you did, heard how you described it, and fuck, baby. I wish I’d seen you go Rambo on their asses. You’re my badass girl. I’m proud of you.”

A small smile tugs at my lips. Despite the events of the day, and me doing what I did, my husband still manages to make me smile. He slowly brings one hand up, keeping it in my line of sight, and cups my good cheek.

“Will you let me send Carson up here to stitch your cheek up and get you checked out?”

His eyes search mine, waiting for my reply, and hoping I’ll let him. I nod against his palm, and he lets out a deep breath. He reaches over to the nightstand and plucks his radio off it. His thumb pressed against the side button.

“Carson. Get your fuckin’ ass up to my room now, and bring your bag. Fuckin’ now.” He growls into the receiver.

“Yes, sir.” Comes the doctor’s reply not even a moment later.

Negan then pushes the button down again and talks.

“Simon. Bring two plates of food up to my room. Now. And make sure it’s some good shit too.”

Simon replies in the affirmative and Negan sets his radio down. He looks back at me and places his palm back against my good cheek. A gesture that always makes me relax.

“Can I ask why you cut your hair?” He asks softly.

“I refuse to let another man tug me around by hair, guiding me to do his bidding, especially during a situation like earlier. It was a flashback to my dad doing what he did. It’s why I’ve also cut my own hair. It’s the one thing I about my body that I can control. So, I keep it short and no man will ever be able to use my hair against me again.” I say, the truth just spilling out. “Plus, having it touch my ears, always made my anxiety ten times worse.”

He knows what my dad did, and he’s known that tugging on my hair was a hard limit for me. So, he never did it, which is why I let my hair grow out. I felt safe around him. I still do. But, having long hair is just a liability, and I refuse to be put in that situation again. He nods in understanding.

“I’m gonna miss your curls, though.” He says. “And waking up with a mouthful of your hair in my mouth.”

I can’t help but giggle at that. It’s true. Most mornings, he’d wake up, sputtering to spit out the strands of my hair that ended up in his mouth as we slept next to each other.

“I left enough on top so you can still play with my hair, babe. And, there’s still enough to run your fingers through it.” I assure him.

“Can I?”

I nod and a moment later, I feel his fingers on his other hand stroke through my wet hair, lightly massaging my scalp as he does. I let out a soft moan at the feeling and lean into his touch on my cheek, closing my eyes. He chuckles as he plays with my hair.

“If that’s your reaction to me doing that every single fuckin’ time, I could get used to it. And I’ll just have to get used to having an even stiffer hard on from the soft moans.” He smirks as he looks at me.

I blush and open my eyes looking up at him. “You're my husband. I think I can manage helping you out with the baseball bat you have in your pants.”

He laughs softly. “Yea?”

I grin. “Mmhhmm. You’re fond of Lucille. I’m quite fond of your own bat.”

He grins, showing off his dimples. “I’m fuckin’ fond of you, baby. Have been since we first met in the woods. Why else do you think I got rid of the wives years ago?”

I try not to grin as I shrug. “It was the only way you were getting in my pants and scoring a homerun.”

He laughs and shakes his head. “Not the only reason, baby. It was because I love you, Leigh.”

I grin from ear to ear and turn my head to place a soft kiss to his palm. “I love you too, Negan.”

Before he can say anything else, there’s a timid knock on the door.

“Come the fuck in!” Negan calls out, holding me close.

Dr. Carson comes in. He’s no longer as nervous as he used to be when I first showed up. But he’s still a little nervous around the man. I’ve gotten Negan to ease up on the fear of himself he’s instilled in people, and gotten him to be nicer in the way he treats folks. He’s not the bat-wielding lunatic he was when we first met.

He’s the man I always knew he was.

A soft, 6’2” teddy bear wrapped in leather.

My soft, 6’2” teddy bear wrapped in leather.

After Carson checks me out, determines nothing’s broken, assures me that everything is good, and stitches my cheek up, he leaves. Negan helps me get dressed in a pair of his boxers under my new jeans and one of his shirts before he pulls on a pair of sweatpants. Simon comes in shortly after I finish getting dressed, holding a tray of food for Negan and I.

His eyes widen as he looks at me, taking in my new appearance.

“What, Si? Never seen a girl with short hair before?” I ask, teasing.

He shakes his head. “I have. I just wasn’t expecting you to have cut your own. It looks good on you, fitting.”

I smile. “Thanks, Si.”

Leaning up, I kiss his cheek and then kick him out before Negan can Lucille him for staring at me. My husband knows Simon’s like a dad to me, the dad I never had, and that there’s nothing there. He just gets jealous and protective over me, not liking other men to stare. And, for once, I’m thankful, given the events of today.

As we eat, Negan and I stay on the bed, me snuggled up to his side. When we’re finished though, I look up at him.

“I have to tell you something else.” I say.

His eyebrow raises and he looks at me, grining. “What’s that? You planning on buzzing anything else?”

I laugh and playfully slap his bare chest. “No, asshole.”

He pretends to be hurt and rubs his chest, grinning. “Damn, girl. That hurt.”

I laugh and kiss his chest where I smacked him. “Feel better, Daddy?”

He grins that dimpled grin again and nods. “Mmhhmm. Now, what else you gotta tell me, babygirl?”

I smirk. “Well, Daddy…you see...”

He growls low in his throat. “Don’t tease me, little girl.”

I giggle. “I’m not, Daddy.”

I bring my hand down to rub my tummy.

“You full from eating?” He asks, covering my hand on my tummy, rubbing what he thinks is a food baby.

“Nope. But, it’s nice to see you already rubbing my tummy. I can happily get used to this over the next 7 months.”

“7 months?” His brow creases in confusion for a moment before his eyes widen. “You...you’re...we’re…?”

I giggle and nod as I lean up to kiss him softly.

“Yes, honey. I’m pregnant.” I say. “I’m 2 months along, and found out a few days ago. I was working on a story earlier, and that was gonna be how I told you, but shit happened, so I figured I’d just tell you.”

He lets out a high pitched squeal that I never would’ve expected from him, and pulls me right back into his arms and his lap. His beard tickles my neck as he grins against it, placing a soft kiss there. I giggle and wrap my arms ‘round him. Like I said, he’s a soft, 6’2” teddy bear wrapped in leather.

My soft, 6’2” teddy bear wrapped in leather and I’m his buzzed haired girl.

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