#and now she’s inspiration for this huge character like wow

[lvlyyoonji]

does chappell roan know that she’s one of the inspirations for the vampire lestat and if so i wonder how she feels about that

[soapsbaby]

Bookworm

Summary: Your CoD Partner finds you reading a smutty novel. Characters: Simon "Ghost" Riley, Johnny "Soap" Mactavish, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, John Price, Kate Laswell, König, Alejandro Vargas, Rudy Vargas, Valeria Garza, all x gn!reader Rating: NSFW (mdni) Word Count: 600ish

Simon

He doesn’t fully get it but if you love them, he does too. He's never once criticized any of your hobbies, if they make you happy, he supports it.

He has definitely found his way to have fun with it though, his favorite way is to make you read them out loud while he eats you out, making you repeat every line you didn’t manage to get out clearly enough for him to understand.

“Oh, Baby, what was that?”

Johnny

He loves your voice, he could listen to you for hours, so he loves when you read them out to him. Usually he’s just sprawled out on top of you, head on your chest while you run your fingers through his hair and read to him.

He keeps commenting everything to make sure you know he’s still awake, with little sentences like “Hm. Would you like that?” or “We should try that” or “That sounds horrible, I’m sorry.” if it’s a particularly wild scene.

Definitely falls asleep at times, though.

Gaz

It started with you telling him all of the plots of the books you were reading but since he seemed so intrigued you just started leaving the books on his bedside table once you were done with them so he could pick them up too.

It has become a tradition for you to leave little sticky notes on parts you especially enjoy so he can take inspiration (and he does).

Price

He enjoys them, especially since it makes it easier for you to express your needs and desires to him when you can otherwise be a little shy about them. He likes having you cuddled up to him and reading them out to you, reenacting them while he does, if possible.

Laswell

She picked up a few of the ones you finished and wasn’t convinced, telling you they were silly and unrealistic, but the next time you picked up your e-reader, she downloaded your favorite authors’ entire bibliography for you.

König

If you love something, he loves it too, but it took him a while to get used to those books, he was scandalized by the types of things you decided to read. 

“Listen, I thought I was mostly fluent in English… But the words in here…” 

Alejandro

Now this man will indulge you. Be it reenacting scenes, taking inspo, hell, he’ll even dress like your favorite characters if you ask him nicely enough.

He’s into roleplay anyways so it’s not that much of a far cry for him to get into the characters you find yourself fantasizing about. 

Rudy

He’d be lying if he said he fully gets it, but it’s your interest and so he appreciates it as much as he appreciates you and always shows interest when you wanna share any of the stories with him. 

He’s a huge bookworm as well, so a lot of the time you will cuddle up together somewhere, both reading your books.

He sporadically looks over your shoulder and if he spots you reading a particularly explicit scene his fingers will find their way between your legs, getting you off while you read .

Valeria

When she first saw you reading one of your smutty little novels she grabbed it from you, reading it out loud to you to fluster you (which worked, of course).

“Cariño, what the hell are you reading, hm?” You straddled her, desperately trying to grab the book out of her hands, miserable failing to do so. "Wow, you little slut."

[grlsbstshot]

Join us for the next chapter of NEON LIGHTS premiering Wednesday

(Don’t miss updates every Wednesday & Saturday for NEON LIGHTS, an original character fanfic. Chapters & Special Extras found on the masterlist.)

IMANI INVITES YOU TO READ HER DIARY By: Vanessa Lawton JAN. 2026

It’s been a year since Imani St. Cirie, the sultry and enigmatic singer-songwriter, made headlines for her surprise EP release, Diary. In the following months, she became an awards show darling. Winning Billboard, AMAs, and even a BRIT Award. It all culminated in a Grammy win in Best R&B Song for the top ten Billboard hit, Kitchen. But since then? Nothing. We sit down with the superstar to find out exactly what's on the horizen.

Exuding a quiet confidence, Imani sits opposite me in the PAPER magazine headquarters. It's a simple interview, one that shouldn't take more than an hour or so but she makes herself comfortable. Imani, dressed in a HOESMAD cropped tee, baggy cargo jeans, and black and white pair of Bathing Apes, there’s a softness to her demeanor that suggests it's been a long year for the superstar. "It's been a year of unexpected successes. I really didn't expect for Diary to be that successful, but I'm grateful. I think it did what it needed to do."

From the heartbreak that inspired her latest EP to the unexpected that has helped her heal, she’s unflinchingly honest. "Love is tough. It's complicated. I don't think it's meant to be easy, but whatever is real, you'll fight for it. No matter what."

This is a different Imani—one who’s no longer defined by her past but empowered by it. And as she prepares to step back into the spotlight, it’s clear that she’s not just reclaiming her voice—she’s rewriting her story.

VL: Diary was a huge success last year. How did it feel to see it resonate so deeply with your fans? Imani: “It’s so crazy because I just released that EP to let all these emotions I felt out. I never thought that so many people would like it. Like damn, y’all really fuck with me.”

VL: Your lyrics often feel deeply personal. Do you find it difficult to share so much of yourself through your music?

Imani: “No. Music is a release for me. I use my songwriting as a way to get everything out. The hardest part for me is releasing it to the world because like you said it is deeply personal.”

VL: What’s been the most rewarding moment in your career over the past year?

Imani: “When I won a Grammy for ‘Kitchen,’ like wow. I’m still in shock about that.”

VL: Fans have speculated about the themes of Diary. Was it inspired by personal experiences?

Imani: “Yes, but all my art is. Where else am I supposed to draw inspiration from?”

VL: You and James Lucas have a shared history in music. Do you think you’ll ever collaborate?

Imani: “I don’t know…that’s a question he should probably answer.” 

VL: What’s next for you musically? Can fans expect a full album soon?

Imani: “I wouldn’t say soon! I’ve been so busy with videos and promo for Diary that I haven’t gotten a chance to go to the studio but I’m always writing and I want to release something next year.” 

VL: You’ve been linked to several high-profile individuals this year. How do you handle the constant media scrutiny of your personal life?

Imani: “I try to ignore it because the media tends to think they know everything about Imani but I promise you they don’t know even know a quarter of me. So I try not to let it bother me.” 

VL: You’ve been very private about your relationships lately. Is that intentional?

Imani: “Yes, because it’s no one’s business but my own. After my relationship with my ex, I think I’m owed some privacy.”

VL: What’s been the biggest lesson you’ve learned about yourself in the past year?

Imani: “That it’s okay to sit in your sorrow sometimes. No matter how much you try, you can’t run from it. You can’t hide from it. So it’s okay to sit and wallow for a little bit.” 

VL: You’ve spoken before about the importance of self-care. What does that look like for you now?

Imani: “Right now? It looks like a day off with sleeping in, a bubble bath with a seaweed face mask, some pasta and a marathon of Sex and the City. I know that ain’t y’all ideal self-care but it’s mine.” 

VL: What role has your family or close friends played in supporting you this year? 

Imani: “My aunt has been the most vital part to Diary’s rollout. I told her what I wanted to do and what publications I wanted to. She handled it all for me.” 

VL: Are there any misconceptions about you that you’d like to clear up?

Imani: “Nah, take what you heard about me and double that shit!” 

VL: What’s one thing fans would be surprised to learn about you?

Imani: “That I’m really a happy person. They always coming up to me, asking me if I’m okay because they heard such-and-such song and are concerned but guys, I promise y’all I’m fine.” 

VL: How do you handle creative blocks or moments of doubt in your career?

Imani: “I try to write through it. Like even if the lyric is trash as fuck, I write it out just so I can get it out of my head.” 

VL: If you could give advice to your younger self, what would it be?

Imani: “Everything will be okay. I know things are looking bleak right now but you will be fine! Crashing out all the time ain’t worth it, girl.” 

The late afternoon sun was starting to set but a few rays spilled through the wide windows of Jameson’s New York brownstone, casting golden streaks across the hardwood floors. He sat at his kitchen table, the picture of comfort. T-shirt, jogging pants, no socks. The room was quiet, except for the occasional hum of the city outside. A glass of water sat untouched on the table beside him. His phone lay in his hand, the screen glowing with the headline of an article he hadn’t been prepared to see.

Imani Invites You to Read Her Diary

He stared at the cover for a long moment, his thumb hovering over the link. She looked gorgeous, the picture of perfection. Her eyes carried a calm he hadn’t seen in them before. Maybe he was imagining it but she looked...like she was thriving without him. He felt his chest tighten. It had been a full, agonizing year since he’d seen her. Since she’d walked out of his life. And now, here she was, staring back at him from his screen like a ghost that refused to stay buried.

He finally tapped the link, the words unfolding before him like a slow unraveling of a wound he thought had begun to heal.

"After my relationship with my ex, I think I'm owed some privacy." she’d said. He read those words over and over, the simplicity of them cutting deeper than he expected but she was right. They were high profile in the best ways but also in some of the worst ways. She deserved to keep her cards close to her chest. It didn't stop the blogs from talking about her...and Amir. And Vivienne. He'd seen photographic proof that she had moved on. It seemed that space had finally evolved to over for her.

His eyes scanned the article, taking in her reflections on the past year. She spoke of growth, of self-care, of understanding herself. There was a brief mention of him but she didn't dwell. Part of him was proud of her.

Jameson leaned back against the chair and waited for deep mournful pain to hit him. It always did when he imagined the rest of his life without her...but remarkably, it didn't come. He felt hurt when she had moved on. He drank and closed himself off, eventually began therapy when his grief had taken a worrying turn, and even moved across the country to get away from his feelings for her. After a year of pouring his emotions into his music and six months into some semblance of a relationship with Camille -- Jameson had finally stopped grieving.

He still loved her, that much was clear. But he had finally accepted that their lives wouldn't merge again. He could read the article about her, feel the pain, and then...simply trust in the knowledge that she was happy.

His doorbell rang and the sound startled him, pulling him from his thoughts. He set the phone down, the screen dimming as he stood. For a brief moment, he considered not answering, but the ringing came again.

He hadn't been expecting anyone. Still, he got up and tried to leave thoughts of Imani in his kitchen -- and was met by the image of a pretty brunette on his front stoop.

Camille Lefevre.

Her long, brown hair was pulled up into a topknot, her usual style when she wasn't strutting down runways or covering magazines. If you passed her on the street, her beauty would be obvious and you'd immediately know she was a supermodel.

They met at an afterparty, amid his emotional spiraling. Imani was on her second new relationship in six months. He watched with envy, a sick gnawing in his gut. He hadn’t been able to escape updates. It ate him up to see her move on when he seemed stuck in a rut. His mother had been so concerned that she damn near moved into his home until he moved to New York. To stop her from coming with him, he promised to start therapy. He started going out more -- though he didn't enjoy it.

Camille had seen through his disgruntled demeanor. She made him laugh at a time when people didn’t even get to see him smile. She was bold, kind, driven. She wanted him and she was going to have him. Casual sex, late-night conversations, and dinner dates followed over the next few months when either of them had the time. They didn’t give it a name but it was something.

Jameson opened the door to find her holding a bag of takeout and wearing that bright, effortless smile he’d grown to appreciate. She was a steady presence in his life, a warm light that had helped guide him through some of his darkest moments. But right now, standing in front of her, he felt the weight of the article still pressing on his chest.

"Hey," she said, stepping inside and leaning up to kiss his cheek. "I figured you probably forgot to eat, so I brought reinforcements."

Jameson forced a smile. "That's cute. She came to feed me."

"Well, someone has to." She tossed over her shoulder before heading into the kitchen. She set the bag on the counter and began unpacking containers, chattering away about the upcoming party for his album, excitement evident in her voice. Jameson tried to focus, nodding and murmuring responses where appropriate, but his mind kept drifting back to Imani’s words.

Camille turned to him, her brows furrowing slightly. "You okay? You seem...distracted."

Jameson hesitated, the truth caught somewhere between his chest and his throat. His first instinct was to lie to her but he heard his therapist clear in his mind. 'Is this lie protecting you, or is it holding you back?' He sighed and told her the truth. "I read an article today. About Imani."

He looked at her then, really looked at her. She was kind, patient, and always there when he needed her. She deserved his honesty, but he wasn’t sure how to give it to her without hurting her.

Camille’s expression softened, though a flicker of something unreadable passed through her eyes. "Oh."

She knew about him and Imani. Who didn't. When they first began, he tried to disconnect from Camille -- knowing he was still caught up on Imani but she let him know that she understood. She was taking a risk with him. It gave him the courage to take the same risk.

"It...caught me off guard," he continued, setting his chopsticks down. “I didn’t expect to see her face, to read about her life like that. I...It stung a little."

Camille nodded slowly, her hand resting on his. "It’s okay to feel that way, you know. You love her. That doesn’t just disappear overnight."

Jameson took a good look at her, lifting his hand from the counter and reaching up to brush a few tendrils of hair from her face. "It stung but it didn't...it didn't hurt me like I thought it would. I want her to be happy. Even if that's not with me. And I want to be happy with you."

Camille was quiet for a moment before she tilted her head, leaning against his hand. "You don't have to say that. It took a lot for you to get here. You've made a lot of progress. Feeling things for her doesn't erase that progress."

He wished she was a little less understanding. He wanted her to yell at him for feeling something for anyone other than her. That felt normal. But her simple acceptance of everything he was made him want to be more for her. Nothing he said or did would be good enough because he knew...she would always deserve more. She was getting half of a man. Why couldn't he just give her everything?

"I'm okay." "You are?" "Mhm. If I'm not, I will be. I'm with you. I'm good."

He watched her melt and felt proud that at least he'd gotten that right for her. Camille leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his temple. "I'm here for you, okay? Whatever you need."

"I know." he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm grateful."

As Camille returned to her food, Jameson’s gaze drifted to his phone on the counter. He turned it face down, trying to push Imani out of his mind once again. But deep down, he knew it wasn’t that simple. She was a part of him, no matter how much time passed or how far apart they were. And that realization was both comforting and excruciating.

[bonefall]

I'm still wading through some brain fog so I'm not writing as much as I want to, currently. But I have just been absently sketching Willowpelt because she's been on my mind

I had initially been working with the "hyena" face in mind, but I've been playing around with the "villainous role" idea for Ferncloud's Parting. I mentioned it to my partner who pointed out that big, strong profiles like that are overused for "vengeful" characters.

Besides, I really love drawing that face shape anyway, so I figured I'd move away from it since it's going to be on a LOT of RiverClan cats in particular (they have longer muzzles than other Clans because they hunt in water).

I'm leaning towards "bat" now... maybe I'll retool it so it's more deer-like. Deer are totally underused as inspiration for harsh characters...

Anyway ready for some WIP material? Plus a recap of Ferncloud's Parting for all who need a refresher

(oh wow it got long. The power of girlies <3)

FERNCLOUD'S PARTING... Refresher!!

Replaces Graystripe's Vow completely, taking place just after the Impostor has been deposed and is imprisoned. Ferncloud is now the main POV, accompanied on her journey by her childhood best friend Cloudtail and the Impostor's surviving lackey, Bumblestripe.

The goal of this SE is to explore Ferncloud's relationship to her younger brother, Ashfur.

(BB canon: Ferncloud and Elderberry are the older kits of Brindleface. Ashkit was a singlet born shortly before his mother's death, raised by Fern, Elder, and their grandmother One-eye. Fireheart botched the Queen's Rights while claiming Cloudkit, but for all intents and purposes was socially his Mi... which he was not good at being. Cloudtail was Ashfur's mentor and Ferncloud's childhood friend.)

Ferncloud is asking herself the question; "What could I have done to prevent this?"

A lot of secondary questions revolve around this... Does this make her responsible for what Ashfur has done? Did she teach him anything that contributed to who he is today? Does that make her responsible?

Cloudtail is in a similar situation, as Ashfur's mentor and someone who only ever wanted to help his friend. Could HE have prevented this? He wants to find out.

Graystripe, oldest cat in ThunderClan, accompanies the little group as far as the mountain... and decides to stay there, with his golden boy, Stormfur.

Bumblestripe had come along with them all, for... a lot of complicated reasons. But the most relevant is that he had been one of the Impostor's most loyal, brutal enforcers. Berrynose was killed in a huge skirmish, and now there's just Bumblestripe left alone to shoulder his sins.

After saying goodbye to his father for what's probably the last time, getting to meet the mythical oldest brother he's been compared to his entire life, and seeing Cloud and Fern looking to visit the Old Forest Territories... Bumblestripe goes with them even further to make sure the old cats stay safe.

Like Graystripe's Vow, I'm planning to keep the split chronology. It goes back and forth between Ferncloud in the Broken Era, and Ferncloud back during the Fire Era.

The ultimate moral here, the point I want to build to, is that Cloudtail and Ferncloud did exactly what was expected of them. They raised a loyal warrior who holds the code above all. They're only responsible for Ashfur insofar as they were responsible for teaching him the same values of vengeance, violence, and distrust of outsiders as was expected... in Firestar's absence.

(Though... there's lots of other questions that I don't think FP will answer. Like, COULD they have truly stopped him? Can they ever understand WHY, if they don't currently? There's a LOT of feelings here and I don't know if all of them really have answers.)

WIP STUFF TIME

Here's new stuff, I've either not mentioned this before, or I've mentioned it in passing without actually linking it to Ferncloud's Parting.

I have a LOT of ideas here that I have to start sorting through. I think these characters are all really interesting so it's really a matter of cutting down all these little details into something more coherent.

When Ashkit is young, he's a child. There was nothing particularly outstanding about him, besides the fact he was a bit lonely and eager to please.

There's a bit of an air of "loss" when Ferncloud thinks back to Ashpaw's childhood. Elderberry and One-eye will be dying soon after the "flashback" segments, so when she goes back to the modern era, thinking about them feels bittersweet.

I also want to sneak in that Ferncloud feels jealous over Cloudtail's mateship with Brightheart lmao, because she has a crush on Brightheart. (Note, maybe tie this to Ashfur being obsessed with Squirrelflight, with Fern questioning if her jealousy rubbed off on Ashfur)

Through helping WarriorClan, Bumblestripe feels REALLY good. They don't know anything about his past, his struggles, or his failures as a person. He's just a hero to them and that feels... good.

Watching Bumblestripe be good, learning more about his issues and WHY he did what he did while following Ashfur brings Cloud and Fern some insight... but not entirely what they need. Is Ashfur just a Bumblestripe on a bigger scale? Or are they just learning more about how good of a manipulator Ashfur is? In which case... where did that ability to manipulate come from?

Fang/Honeysuckle might be Bumblestripe's half-brother. If that's the case, Bumble is... frustrated by it. MORE of his dad's complicated legacy.

Ferncloud and Cloudtail probably have some short discussions about how much is really appropriate to teach to WarriorClan... after all, they're here questioning if any part of Ashfur was THEIR fault, what if they accidentally teach them something terrible?

But at the same time, Ferncloud is the Educator of ThunderClan, and these cats can't write. The Glyph system would be very useful to them, and they're begging to learn more about Clan culture.

Putting a pin in that part, for now. Will tie back more into the conclusion that the Clan cat party ultimately reaches.

BACK IN THE PAST; Firestar is away bringing back SkyClan in Firestar's Quietus. Everything that is done is without him.

Longtail, the deputy, is blinded and a leader does not immediately rise to fill the space in ThunderClan.

And in BloodClan, their trading partner... Scourge does the same. Oops! WRONG TIME, SCOOJ!

Planning to retire, Scourge announces an event called The Frenzy. He will choose the next leader from whoever accomplishes the biggest achievement in the given timeframe. This is how BloodClan passes on leadership.

He gives his chosen heir, Claw, their first Frenzy Achievement-- the fang of a dog from his own collar. Anyone who wishes to take power instead must accomplish a feat even bigger than what had allowed SCOURGE to take power in the first place; Killing a dog.

Fury is a challenger. She does NOT want Scourge's chosen heir, Claw, to lead BloodClan next. Claw will continue the trading and friendliness towards Clan cats, which Fury wants to end.

ENTER WILLOWPELT

Willowpelt ALSO wants this trading with BloodClan to stop. She feels it's gone too far.

BloodClan killed her mate-- Whitestorm. Firestar might have been willing to just throw his life away for this, but she's NOT.

She's recovering from a boar bite, currently, but it's scarring up nicely... and she's willing to pretend she's injured a little longer if it shakes suspicion off her.

She doesn't WANT to be allies with Fury, but if her goal is to bring BloodClan back into isolation... then, Willowpelt will do it.

And Fury promises her something else; Revenge. Scourge is the reason why Whitestorm died, and together, they can ruin his plans and make him watch as his peaceful little power transfer crumbles into ash.

GOOD SETUP IMO but I still need to work out what nefarious deed they'll do, exactly. All I know is that Fury will betray Willowpelt at the height of it. Maybe something about taking over Barley's barn. Maybe Elderberry gets killed.

But, I have one very strong feeling in mind; Ferncloud probably ends up killing Fury while Ashpaw watches or even helps.

Hmm... maybe Graystripe (becomes deputy as soon as Firestar gets back for handling this crisis so well) ordered them to let Fury go.

But Ferncloud looked at Fury, and decided that Willowpelt was right about one thing. Most BloodClan cats cannot be trusted.

The code does not apply equally to outsiders.

Maybe I WILL have Fury end up killing Elderberry in some way, and then give Ferncloud and Ashpaw a conversation about it. "Those who don't live by the code will not be protected by it. And we must protect our Clan... even if Graystripe doesn't realize it."

I could make it clear that Fury is not a threat at that point, having been beaten in some way and Claw ascending to BloodClan leadership. OR I could have left it open-ended, like, maybe Fury would be a future problem, maybe not. Not sure yet.

Willowpelt of course will also need to experience some consequences for this... unleeeess, I have Graystripe let her off really easy exactly because she's Clanborn, which even Cloudtail is frustrated about, maybe even coining the term "Codebreaker" as an insult under his breath.

In any case, Ferncloud never told Cloudtail about how she secretly killed Fury. It's too juicy to have her reveal it to him in the modern day, explaining that it IS her fault, she DID teach him the wrong thing.

Hmm... I'm talking myself into it. Though I did also like the original vibe that Ashfur's tyranny was kind of unknowable, trying to make sense out of a senseless thing he did. I think it feels a lot more interesting for Ferncloud to have been hiding this for literal years, and now feeling like she has to "pay the world back" for what she did.

Maybe even build towards something metal about Fury's grave. Hmm... maybe to hide the murder, she buried her in Elderberry's freshly dug one, since no one would notice the soil had been recently disturbed as it was JUST dug.

Buried my sister and my secret victim in the same grave. ~Just Girlie Things~

Cloudtail sitting here, War Criminal to the right and Secret Murderer to the left like "can i ever be around normal people. like, just once"

Jokes aside... Cloudtail needs to point out something very important. Ferncloud regretted what she did, and she never did what Ashfur is doing. She never sought power, when Firestar came back she's lived a long life without ever once undermining him, and even her beliefs have softened over time.

She was a Traditionalist back then, but is Fire Alone now. After everything. The destruction of the forest, loss of her kits, WindClan rebellion, reveal of Squirrelflight and Leafpool's secret...

She's helped to raise every new generation as the Educator. And yet, Ashfur, the Impostor, is unique.

And look at Bumblestripe... being Graystripe's son didn't stop him from being the Impostor's lackey.

We all make our choices. HE made his. You made your own.

But... I don't feel like Ferncloud can entirely accept that as an answer either. There would be a very forlorn sort of feeling here. Yes, we all make our own choices-- but we influence each other. For better and for worse. And she refuses to avoid responsibility for that.

Maybe in that moment I'll have her make the choice to return home, and BE the one who becomes the Light in the Mist to face Ashfur in the Dark Forest. Seems to be coming together.

[scorpioriesling]

Questions For Scorpio Riesling!!

I've had a few trends / asks sent to me, so as I prepare more content for you guys, I wanted to take a break and participate in these fun trains being sent around. <3 I've found so many ACOTAR & Fourth Wing creators on here in the past year since starting this page, and I am so grateful to consume every work you all put out! Much love xo

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

@shadowsingercassia mentioned me in this one (thank you, you're so sweet!), so I'll bite! Answer and then tag three or more creators to keep the game going! (tags at the end of the post)

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

I don't have anything published on AO3 -- I don't know how to use it, and I'm super unfamiliar with it, LOL.

2. How many fics did you complete this year?

54! I had not counted until now... wow.

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

I had 3 (Unsettled, Invisible String, and Too Hot to Handle) series this year, all completed as of ... this morning? Haha. I have various upcoming parts, including part 3 for Casual and part 2 for Bad Idea, Right? As far as WIPs... 22. Haha. 22 WIPs.

4. What was your favorite thing you wrote?

I answer this again more in depth below, but probably Invisible String or Too Hot To Handle!

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

While Too Hot To Handle was definately different (elaboration later), I think Once Upon A Dream and Sing To Me were probably the most different from what I typically do!

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

A pleasant surprise was my first fic(s) and mini-series, Unsettled. I wrote it right after opening this page, and I was surprised how well it did and the support from everyone that encouraged me to keep going!

7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

I Look In People's Windows was shorter, and I bit different as far as mood as opposed to what I typically write... however, I really liked it and I feel like more people should give it a glance. (;

8. Who is an artist that inspired you?

Omg... anything madschofield makes!!

9. Who is an author that inspired you?

My first inspiration on Tumblr was from @starlightazriel -- but in addition, works from @yourlittlebunnyy, all of @thehighladywrites works, and works from @velarisdusk!

10. Who is a new author you discovered?

@she-whatshername and @lilah-asteria !! Love everything from them.

11. Did you do any collaborations? How did it start?

No! I haven't collaborated on anything yet.

12. What accomplishments are you proudest of?

I'll say this louder for the people in the back... INVISIBLE STRING (and, Too Hot To Handle, honestly.)

13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

Some characters come so easy for me to write (I'll expose myself -- Eris, Azriel, Lucien, Liam, and Tamlin... oop) while others are challenging (Cassian, Xaden, Rhysand... oy). Nonetheless, pushing myself is ALWAYS worth it, and I enjoy a challenge! A Springtime Storm is still a crowd favorite, and a personal one too (I didn't think I'd like it so much, honestly).

14. What is your advice?

I write in a way that if I read it, I'll enjoy it. I make sure not to have character biases, and NEVER bully anyone or judge people for their preferences. Healthy discussion? Sure. But bullying isn't okay, and I make sure to put out stories I like and hope others will find amusing too!

15. What are your creative goals for 2025?

I've been dabbling in participating in Kinktober... HAHA that sounds like such a huge, scary task but honestly. I feel like I'm ready. Are you? hehehehe

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@thelov3lybookworm sent me an ask with these prompts (and now I can't find it back) but here are my answers! Hello ACOTAR fanfic writer!  This fanbase appreciates your creativity and passion for these characters and ships, and you did such an amazing job with writing this year!  The year is coming to an end, and I wanna ask: 

What is your new year’s resolution for writing? I want to be better about finishing my writing in a timely manner. I'm so grateful to those who stick around for the next parts in my series, unanswered asks, etc. but sometimes I get writer's block and even if I know exactly what i want to write, I don't make as much time for it as I'd like to!

What are some of your tips for fanfic writing? Haha one of my biggest ones is putting yourself in a reader's shoes, and even if it may not be your most enjoyable / easiest character to write, I always remember to appreciate the reader/asker for whatever request they send because it means they like your work, want more of it, and want it done in your writing style! Everyone prefers characters over others -- even if they're not your cup of tea, maybe they are for others.

What was your favorite thing you’ve written this year? Oh my God literally the Invisible String series. I started this page last year (tee hee) in LOVE with Lucien and Lucien only... now, while I still find other characters so freakin difficult to write for (Rhysand? Xaden? Like, why though?) somedays, I am married to Eris in my head; especially after finishing the Invisible String series! It took 4 months to write, and I am absolutely in love with how it turned out. I even go back and re-read it myself, I love it so much.

Another honorable mention is the Too Hot To Handle series! Oh em gee. I started the show last year, and immediately thought of how interesting it would be to incorporate ACOTAR into it. It was a different type of writing, and one where I had to wait a week to even begin the next part as it was a reader-voted storyline! So interesting, but so, SO fun.

Feel free to send this to your favorite fellow writers to spread the love and new year’s cheer!🎉🪩 (tags at the end of the post!)

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@velarisdusk tagged me in this WIP Folder Tag Game!! So, here we go. Rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Tag as many people as you have wips. People can send you an ask or comment with the title that most intrigues them, then answer with a little snippet or tell them something about it!

(Anonymous asked) Could I request a fourth wing xaden x reader where she gets hurt on a mission and xaden just goes bat shit protecting her injured/dying body “nobody touches her” style?

2. Juno

3. Liam (Fourth Wing) - Smut with fluff - prompts 18 + 19 + 21 + 32 + 49 + 67 - req. by @caramelmacchiato07

4. (@farintonorth asked) Hii, hope you are having a good week! I saw your prompt list and that your requests are open👉👈🥹 I was wondering if I could request number 4.Make up sex with Tamlin x reader where they are mates??? I love himmm (guys, I'm personally so excited for this one omfg)

5. (@mellowmusings asked) GIRLIE i have been reading 4th wing and holy hell, why havent we got an azriel x fourth wing yettt? like just imagine, that man is literally perfect for ANY book crossover, I would pay good money to see Az beat the frick out of jack (ew) (guys... another one I'm excited as FAWK FOR OK)

6. (Anonymous asked) Heyyy how are you???? Crazy idea what about if xaden had a sister who stayed in aretia, never went to Basgiath, but she still bounded with a dragon (how to train your dragon style) only brennan knows ( brennan X reader) the dragon is son of Tairn and Sgaeyl

7. no body no crime

8. friendly

9. She's Got A Boyfriend, Anyway

10. Somebody Else

11. Tattooed Golden Retriever (Anonymous asked) Hi! I don’t know if this is the right place because this is my first time sending a request, but basically I just finished fourth wing and it absolutely DESTROYED me so I was wondering if you could write a fluffy Liam mairi x reader fic or imagine where they are at Riorson house having a quiet day and decide to just dance around the kitchen and bake cookies or smt for the others! Please don’t feel obligated to do it btw! (oh, girly... yk I'm gonna do it bc Liam's fate destroyed me too... and I luvvvv him, so yes. I'm writing it.)

12. bad idea right? pt 2 req. by @hardcoremarvelfan (oh BISCUIT you know I'm frothing at the mouth to get this one up and running)

13. brennan smut for @nothanksehh prompt 31

14. @hardcoremarvelfan req. lucien smut - prompts 2, 23, 12, 71, 74

15. I (almost) Believe You pt. 2

16. Bed Chem - @hardcoremarvelfan lucien fluff + smut - prompts 66, 67

17. The Prophecy

18. @hardcoremarvelfan lucien fluff - prompts 32, 43, 60

19. Swimming in Sunshine

20. Casual (pt. 3)

21. You Belong With Me

22. Valentine's Day

Omg guys 21 tags? Let's see if I can find 22 people I know, LOL. @lilah-asteria @paintedbyshadows @mellowmusings @she-whatshername @callsign-rogueone @starlightazriel @starkeyspr1ncess @thehighladywrites @acourtofimagines @azsazz @pit-and-the-pen @princess-tulip-writes @littlefireling @acourtofmishapandmistakes @acourtofwhatthefuck @velariscalling @velarisnightsky444 @yourlittlebunnyy @thestarlightexpress @acourtofwips @acourtoflucien @assassinsblade

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[lightofraye]

No way! GLEN POWELL?!?!?!? You're a fan too????!!!!

Oh boy.

All caps. Tons of exclamation marks and question marks.

I'm in trouble, aren't I?

Because... yes! I'm a huge fan of Glen's! And it's not because he has a hot bod either!

(Thank you, Top Gun: Maverick, for that volleyball scene. Ahem.)

But no, in all seriousness, the first role I distinctly remember him in was playing that stock market guy in The Dark Knight Rises--the one who promptly got his head beat in by Bane.

Why did it make an impression on me? Because I believed it when he stood up to Bane. It was a stand out scene.

Later, Hidden Figures, I remembered liking John Glenn--and hilariously didn't make the connection of the actor! Not until much later. He made other small roles that I remembered... and then forgot the actor. (Hey, life is busy.)

Then Top Gun: Maverick came out and I remembered sitting back in my seat and going, "Who the fuck was that?!"

Because wow. Arrogant, snarky, could back up his claims. It was another Tom Cruise in so many ways. Hangman, Glen's character, was just like Maverick, Tom Cruise's character. He popped on the screen and I just had to know more about him.

Cue a deep dive in his history, his Instagram, and his roles. And discovering he was in other roles that I liked!

Then learning about his history as an actor. He said it was Denzel Washington who inspired him to make a try for it in Hollywood--a real try.

By 2007, Glen had made a few roles, small ones, but he credits Denzel for putting faith in himself. Trying out for The Great Debaters, Denzel asked Glen to come back and try for a bigger role... and to drop his noticeable Texas accent. Glen was determined to impress the movie's producers--and succeeded.

He was just 17 years old.

Glen recounted Denzel's advice to him:

"This race, Hollywood, it's a marathon, not a sprint," Powell relayed from the Oscar-winner's advice. "You're running your own race. Don't look in the other lanes. It doesn't matter how fast somebody else is going, where they're going, or if they look better doing it. It doesn't matter."

When he tried out for The Expendables 3, he wrote to Sly Stallone and explained why he was the best choice for the role. Later, Stallone told him it was the reason he got the job.

He then got into Ryan Murphy's Scream Queens on Fox. (And making friends with John Stamos!) It helped him show off his comedic skills and helped make his name in Hollywood.

He actually admitted when he got into Hidden Figures, he was worried he ruined it. It was such a powerful movie and he feared he wrecked it. (Needless to say, no, he didn't. That movie shone!)

He made a rom-com with Zoey Deutch on Netflix that also cinched his skills as an actor who could do romance, comedy, and Top Gun (along with The Expendables) showed he could also do action. He's very well-rounded as an actor.

But what really catapulted him was Anyone But You with Sydney Sweeney. For the last few years, Hollywood had struggled to make really big rom-coms (in my humble opinion). Most just don't really break the box office.

Then Sydney Sweeney came along with her clever mind and manipulated the hell out of the chemistry between her and Glen. It worked too well--he had been in a three year relationship with Gigi Paris.

During the filming of Anyone But You, there were so many candids, behind the scenes photographs, that left quite a few convinced Sydney and Glen were having an affair. (Sydney is very much engaged with her longtime boyfriend of, what, 6 years now?) But some speculated it was too much for Gigi and she broke it off.

It's never been confirmed as to why they broke up, but it was interesting....

Then Glen went and adopted a freakin' adorable dog, a mutt, and named it Brisket. That dog has been with him everywhere now! Even during promos!

What I like about Glen? He includes his parents in a lot of his movies as extras! He's frequently seen with his niece and nephew, photographs with them all the time... and a couple of years ago, reenacted, I kid you not, some scenes from ELF in New York with his family. (Seriously. Watch it. I couldn't stop laughing.)

He's made a hit for Netflix with Hit Man. Twisters is doing pretty well in theaters. He's so busy I'm staring at his schedule and thinking to myself, "When does he have time to breathe?!"

What I'm also impressed with is how, upon talking to Matthew McConaughey and realizing how soul-sucking Los Angeles could be, Glen sold his home in Los Angeles and relocated back to Texas!

My last tidbit of amusement? He has green eyes. He's Texan.

Seriously, what is it with me and green-eyed men from Texas? Yeesh.

(I turned into a gossip columnist. Haha!)

[rmorde]

Trigun Manga Reaction

Now, back to Volume 1 Chapter 9!

Insurance Ladies know they are going above and beyond what is normal here. But, they still continue as consummate professionals.

THIS IS SO ADORABLE!!! SO CUTE SO CUTE SO CUUUTEE!

I like the tiny little details that hints something about the characters too.

The most obvious things are Milly's childish expression (playful) and Vash's one leg raised on the seat position (gremlin). However, "no nonsense" Meryl's feet are placed inside the table's rings! You'd expect her to put them by the side of the table but nooooo!!! They need to be IN the ring (she's not above them all!). LMAO.

Tbh... I think the Kaite & Vash relationship feels more fleshed out here in the manga than the anime. I guess it's because of the Rem conversation. It added more weight to their interactions.

Also, they're adorable! Kaite is one sharp kid calling out Vash's bullshit. Vash, like a dog with a bone, keeps deflecting.

Oh wow. This is a huge difference from '98. Kaite was totally alone when he approached the crew.

And this is just as painful and hard to see because, you can absolutely understand the crew's reaction and feelings. What Kaite did was wrong. At the same time tho, he is just a kid who didn't know better. Taking out their grief and fury on him is not right.

Gosh... It makes me think of Little Vash and The Great Fall.

I wonder what exactly went through Vash's head here. In my perspective, Kaite is reflecting Vash unknowingly in this scene. But it's so painful because he's just a kid. He should never have been put in this position. He is too young to be on this path for atonement and redemption! It's just wrong.

Hmmm. Another big difference. Interesting. The Plant was never mentioned in '98 at all.

So, Tristamp followed this manga arc more closely. Some elements are remixed such as Wolfwood replacing Kaite, the Gung-ho Guns substituting BDN as a threat, and the race is avoiding destroying a town instead of avoiding falling off a cliff. All beats are the same tho.

HOWEVER!

I think '98 has a more logical timeline personally because they are in a hurry to stop the ship right? It's a critical moment. If you think about it, there should not have been enough time for Vash to regroup with Kaite after the duel. So, '98 having these two events happen simultaneously is actually good.

Another benefit is Kaite's offer to help feels much more genuine when he was alone and away from Vash in '98. It really sells the idea that this is entirely his own decision despite the risks of retribution.

Of course, Vash didn't influence him in the manga too but by visually having him there with Kaite, it kinda undersells it imo.

Oi. Vash. That's no way to talk about your sister!

While I do appreciate the changes on the Plant design in Tristamp, I really like the '98/Manga more. They're both excellent designs for Sci-Fi but I just really like the 90's flavor of magical Angel Power Plant... which appeases my thing for magitek.

Tristamp tho is a modern flavor of alien Faerie Power Plant - not bad but not my cup of tea. However, the glowing lines feature is wonderful! It reinforces the idea of them being power plants because they have "circuits" in the body. Restraining myself from saying Magic Circuits!

Oh... This is a really fascinating set of panels that I think both '98 and Tristamp haven't adapted well.

'98 kinda skipped this. However in Tristamp, the emphasis on Plants is very clinical. Not sure if that is the best way to describe it, but, in the plants feels so much more objectified in Tristamp. I guess the horror element about the human-plant relationship is further emphasized there.

It's contrasting the manga which seems to be more focused on the awe-inspiring side of it like in the scene above. The scientist waxes poetic and is practically making a religion out of the whole thing.

I guess, to put it simply, the manga effectively shows how humans see Plants worthy of worship. Meanwhile, Tristamp displays how humans see Plants as just a life-essential battery.

So beautiful... Oh...

What if the re-design happened because animating expressive individual feathers would be a pain for Orange staff? GASP! Is that why everyone's hair were cut short?! Because hair is tedious to animate. OMFG... IS THIS WHY MILLY WAS CUT OUT IN SEASON 1 since she really really long luscious locks?!

I kid. I kid. 🤣

Oh. That's really clever remixing by Studio Madhouse. So '98 Miss Purple Avenger Episode is like a "Prototype" of this manga arc. This is where Vash having to prevent an explosion of a Plant came from.

Okay. Another great difference... I've been saying that a lot in this chapter. Sorry.

In '98, Vash dealt with this alone and the only witness was terrified. It focused more on the mystery.

However, here in the manga, Vash is not alone. Humans must work with him to save the Plant and everyone. He can only buy time but it's up to them to stop the whole thing. It's a really nice display of Vash's hopes and beliefs regarding human-plant relations. ----> BTW, the art in this page is really pretty and interesting! (1) The almost "gradient" like transition of Vash's coat to the bulb is so creative. (2) The drawing of the Plant resembling a blooming flower: feathers as ray florets, the plant/sister as the disk floret, and the wires as receptacle/stem.

These pages are so gorgeous and the way the slowing down of the heartbeat was shown through the interspersed tiny panels is just really good.

ROFL. The human instinct of "I don't know what's going on but it's helping so I won't pry anymore and I'll just roll with it!". Love to see it!

I think this arc is so good because it justifies Vash's often criticized brand of hope - his endless patience at giving humans chances to bridge the gap between their species.

Humans can work together and save themselves with just a little push. They won't rely on exploitation forever.

People can realize when they are wrong. They can atone and redeem themselves. They do not stay cruel and ignorant forever. They are capable of change. ----> Also, this art is so perfectly adapted in '98. This page, actually, all the pages relating to this collective effort of humans to save the ships (with a bit of an assist from Vash) is so heartwarming to read. ----> Oh... Kudos again to '98 because since they relegated the 'Vash prevents a Plant explosion' to an earlier episode, the episode covering this particular plot had him out of commission. So, the stakes have become higher. Humans must set aside their differences and work together to save each other and Vash too.

And finally, humans are more than what they seem. They are complicated. What could be an enemy at first could turn out to be an ally that can save you later.

This entire conclusion to the conflict is just good and very... Vash. This is what he wants for Knives to see and understand about humans.

I think '98 really did well in adapting the essence of this arc. Tristamp is complicated because now, on hindsight as I read the manga, the episodes are basically hard-carrying and working overtime telling multiple plot lines at once!

Let's see... in Tristamp's version of this arc:

Wolfwood was working double time in the narrative as "Kaite" and one half of the "Good/Hope of Humanity". Not to mention he has his own conflict going on too.

Meryl was the second half of the "Good/Hope of Humanity" that works with Vash (Plant) in saving people.

Unfortunately, with BDN being replaced by the Gung-ho Guns, there is nothing that echoes the "Hidden Depths Enemy Turned Ally"... character...No way... OMFG! WOLFWOOD WAS SUBSTITUTING FOR THAT ROLE TOO IN THIS ARC!!! Poor Woofwoof!

Roberto is a unique addition since he is a Tristamp OG, but I think he represents well the approach taken by Orange with Trigun. He is like the "Flaws/Indifference of Humanity". He is good but experience had turned him into someone that's jaded and refuses to rock the boat (unlike Meryl). His age and 100% ordinary human status prevents him from surviving long enough to change his disposition too (unlike Wolfwood). It's pretty in line with Orange's more emphasis on the "darker" aspects of the story.

WHA-?!!!

Eh? Eh? EHHH?!!

WHY WAS THIS CHANGED IN '98?!!! THIS IS ADORABLE AND COOL!!! AHHHH!!!! NOOOO!!!!

But... then there won't be Meryl and Milly supporting injured Vash. NOOOO!!! Augh. AND THERE WON'T BE TRISTAMP VERSION OF THIS! AHHHH!!!!

Oh. So, the singing is in the manga too. That's a surprise. I thought it was a '98 original scene.

Awwww. ಥ_ಥ

[bengiyo]

Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yara ka Ep 4 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Soga and Sakae started going on dates. However, they were only doing things Soga liked because he was so excited to share them with Sakae, and Sakae is kind of a pushover in his attempts to make Soga happy. I'm still thinking about that horrible outfit Sakae wore. However, Soga got worried that he was forcing his interests on Sakae and asked around to see what Sakae liked, so they went to play squash. Soga wasn't very good, but they managed to have a great date out of it. We left at Kazuyo confessing to Sakae.

I love Kazuyo. She got rejected and immediately demanded a performance review. Glad Sakae didn't lead her on, because his friend definitely likes her.

Episode 4' It's his birthday, what now?

Wow, Kazuyo is amazing. She's processing her disappointment, but still joined their team to help with Soga's birthday.

Gothic and Halloween are not the same thing, but I am very excited about this party.

Whoa, they showed Sakae kissing his ex. That's a huge deal.

I'm really into the decorations!

Kazuyo's shirt would work for this party I'm going to for a parade.

It's really cool that BLs are starting to take the rejections of its female characters seriously. I like that we get to see Kazuyo processing this and still helping.

Don't forget to invite your friend so he can flirt!

WEDNESDAY

Damn! She slapped him!! I love this energy from her.

Few things make me happier in romance than someone expressing how they feel leading to a closer and better relationship between everyone. Kazuyo didn't get romance from Sakae, but here she is crying with him in his corner and inspiring him to be more forthright with Soga.

I love seeing adults confess to each other. Soga wasn't sure if it was a bit, Sakae assured him he was serious, Soga thanked him for sharing while admitting he was a bit surprised and overwhelmed, and Sakae told him to take some time to consider it. I love it here.

Oh lord why is the ex back now?

Next week looks great. The ex is around and invades the sauna!

This show is so excellent. The character writing is so clear and so strong. The drama is light but believable. I'm rooting for everyone, and it feels like Sakae is a real gay person.

[ronqueesha]

I've been developing my death knight as a new WoW roleplay character in my head for a while.

I don't have every detail planned, but the things I know about her:

Her name (for now) is Rosalyn Kwesha.

She was a small time thief and petty criminal in Gilneas before the worgen curse afflicted the population. She gained quite the reputation for her lawbreaking among the poor and downtrodden. She wasn't quite a robin hood figure, the people just liked it when someone made the king and his laws look bad.

She was in the prison that player worgen characters go to early in the introduction questline. The one absolutely infested with feral worgen. This means she was one of those people who was turned by the curse into a mindless canine monstrosity who attacked the player, and was killed.

Not long after, Bolvar Fordragon the lich king rose Rosalyn and several others as he secretly built up his forces. This new crop of death knights would prove useful to him during the legion invasion and other conflicts. Rosalyn herself was just one of many rank-and-file undead soldiers the lich king held in reserve, not an important adventurer.

When Sylvanas Windrunner destroyed a huge part of the lich king's power by destroying the helm of domination, Rosalyn was freed of her magical compulsion to serve him. She did not take part in the shadowlands story, instead she immediately ran from the servitude of one bad king to see the remains of her home and the ashes left behind by another bad king.

As of now, the former thief turned undead worgen is struggling to build a new life. The old Rosalyn is quite literally dead and gone, but the new one still lives inside her skin.

So she's like a mix between my other OCs Saoirse and Iona. but also a werewolf.

Like all of my OCs, she hides her true feelings under a mask of falsehood. Where the real Rosalyn is lost and full of regrets over a wasted life and an unjust death, the fake persona she puts into the world is much more upbeat and pleasant.

The main sources of inspiration that my brain obsessively clings to are the songs "Run Away to Mars" by TALK and "Dial Drunk" by Noah Kahan.

This line in particular sticks with me:

"I ain't proud of all the punches that I've thrown in the name of someone I no longer know."

I guess my muse is trying to say Rosalyn had someone she deeply loved in her past, who is perhaps still alive and several decades older. Someone who has moved on without her, but Rosalyn is stuck in the past, full of regrets and sorrow over what was taken from her.

[kleinv01]

What if...

What if Mc got swole? Like beefcake, muscle muscle kind of strong How would everyone react?

://SYSTEM MESSAGE_ANSWERED beefy mc au ? ! each character's reaction. . . ://YAEL You could see a hint of blush on Yael's cheeks as you approached him with your new look. He was momentarily stunned, and it took a while before you could hear his soft voice in response. "Ah, it seems like you've made such a huge change in your lifestyle recently... You look quite different, but in a good way! Now, this really inspires me to work harder as well, haha. Do you mind if we hit the gym together sometime, MC?" ://KLEIN Klein's purple eyes lit up in glee as he saw you. "Woah~! Darling!!" He jumped from the couch and lunged at you, hugging you tightly. "You look so strong, so cool...~ I've always been the one to carry you, but I wonder if you can carry me now? Ehehe~ Oh, you want to try? You know, my body components make me really heavy... but if you can do it, I'll give you one looong hug in return! So, come on! I want to be carried in your arms, like how I deserve to!" ://AL The pink-haired man stops in his steps, and he stares at you momentarily before hurriedly walking away in silence. His pink bangs obscuring his face make it hard for you to read his expression, as always. ://SERA "I never knew you were into this, MC! Wow, you must've worked really hard to get to this point while I was busy with work, huh? Anyway, we should commemorate this moment! Who knows when you might change your mind?" She laughed and swiftly took out her phone, pulling you in closer to fit into the camera. ://ETHAN He chuckled softly as you approached him. Ethan let out a small sigh before looking at you once again, "MC, you've made a drastic change in your appearance in such a short time. I wonder how Sera would react if she were to see you now. Can I take a picture of you and send it to her?"

that'd be a very unexpected change esp for yael LOL but he'd love u just the same ~

[mossedrock]

so i have a huge project in mind big text-post ahead it started from thinking about drawing every single level in the Splat 3 ROTM campaign, one drawing each. it was originally inspired by pizza tower's cartoon level intros but as time went on i felt like i could do more than just 'heres neo 3 being a clutz again in a different situation'.

as i further developed Jo/Joey's story and personality, i felt i wanted to take a different approach to ROTM's storyline for her specifically (I sort of imagine her as an outsider to the usual splatoon mini-universe i have in my head: the neo 3 that was SUPPOSED to be neo 3 had her spot stolen because Jo ended up being chosen before she was, and this only happens in this universe of possibility because in all other ones Jo died long ago and was unable to interfere--like miles morales, except way more morbid. but without all that universe malarkey, Jo is just a really different Neo 3 than from what you may imagine from the canonical interpretations). in the beginning, i imagined her as a coward, with the salmonid buddy she hangs around with being the actual leader of the duo; a neat role-reversal of sorts. then i had to consider why Jo was so cowardly, then i had to consider whether i wanted to make her stay that way. For the latter consideration, i decided "no", after all its hard to make a story about triumph when the character constantly remains petrified by her fears, also because i began to be inspired by Ichiban Kasuga of the Like a Dragon Series (i have never played a Like a Dragon game). as for the former consideration--i dont want to spoil it until i make it or until i finally decide i will never make it (very likely, one of the multitude of reasons for failure is going to reach me sooner or later).

as for ROTM, i feel it could be a fantastic prologue-type story for something later, that is if i continued. one of the main gripes with ROTM that i had was that it did not contribute that much to what we know, and the additions it did make seemed to be random--even for splatoon's level. i have some headcanons and tweaks in mind for Jo's ROTM, so things make more sense by adding another narrative to the storymode (it worked with eight, why not?).

now i have to replay the story--so dont quote me on this since its all hazy because i completed the storymode in a couple of hours late at night the first time i played it and never looked back--to review the story and see what i could do with it. however, from my playthrough and others' analysis, i made a few ideas of my own. my major headcanon was orca and the level design as a whole: why was it set up like this, and if it were for human-assistance, why is it tailored for inkfish? why cant the NSS just hop in and do it themselves--in other words why is Jo necessary?

the levels are centered around "missions" and theres a bunch of them to complete. you can complete them whenever you want and in no particular order, but you have to complete some of them if you want to progress. orca is there to detail a log and guide you in a sort of way. my headcanon is that ORCA is a program for mental health; if i was a human trapped underground looking at the same artificial sky and knowing that there is nothing else beyond it alongside the fact that i too will fade to nothingness if just one thing goes wrong, i think id be insane or just insanely depressed.

some missions in particular are designed to be fun or poke at the idea of breaking stagnation or introducing new concepts (wow a video game introducing game mechanics, how unexpected!); example that comes to mind is that one curling level early on, that sort of shows it up as a popular sport on alterna, sort of urging you to try out this low risk and possibly fun break as a mission. speaking of, theres also the way it calls each level "mission"; why does it refer to the levels as "missions" as if they are more important than a staged set-up to be repetitively completed? I say that this term is based on the technique of showing-up the successes that one does to make them feel accomplished, even if the task was small to deal with the case of an individual beating themselves down all the time: "it was nothing, really anybody could have done it, its not a big deal". and because everyone is different, it would make sense that everyone gets their own generated program and orca would have the ability to create them on the fly.

as for why the NSS cant do it? well, theres not much wrong with them (they were close, though). Joey, however, is another can of worms. their problems are a necessity to progress because they are the reason she is the only one who can move forward in both the rescue and the program. she gets her own log too--but you dont see it in-game because its quite personal. in short: orca is a mental health ai, and Jo is necessary because of her huge flaws and her need to get rid of them. she sees herself as a failure, and she must see that she is able to grow and move past this perception by having numerous 'successes'.

this headcanon gives more reason as to why orca exists, why they help you, why the levels are like that, and why the others cant do it. other things in the story may support or come as a result of this headcanon: like how grizz's story was recorded because he too was a 'hero', and how the secret kettle's intro box's theme is "mY dEAR", which could be referring to how ORCA sees neo 3 as someone they want to take care of, potentially because they may have failed to help others in the past (humans, grizz maybe).

enough with the psychotic rambling, i felt like this project could help me get better at drawing scenarios, backgrounds, colors, poses, and blocking as id have to draw Jo in like 60+ different levels (im gonna include the crater levels too). I also feel that maybe other people would recognize me as an artist too, though i feel i am too late for that wave lol.

i want to tell a story about Joey, why she looks the way she does, why she acts the way she does, and how she becomes part of the 'hero' archetypes we see in the other characters and what is expected of her to begin with. This is not a story about a noble knight rushing to save the world because of the past, this is primarily a story about a kid learning how to step up to a mantle and moving on from the past. a neat story is the classic japanese myth of that one fish who saw there was more than the waters they swam in, and so they swam and climbed to the top of the world, where the gods granted it the form of a dragon so it may wander free; we see little buddy grow into a huge beast from a tiny smallfry, but maybe perhaps in another way Joey becomes a dragon too.

so yeah, sorry about the super-duper-quintuple-bossy-deluxe-with-extra-cheese textpost. just felt like sharing an idea. there was more i wanted to say but i lost train of thought and forgot :P

thoughts? questions?

[nerdieforpedro]

So basically I’m just checking my notifications this morning and I had some good tears (I promise) thanks to three very supportive friends (we’re friends so it is written):

@magpiepills told me that I’m creative and prolific, the quantity increases but the quality never drops. So opposite of a franchise. 😭 Like I…Just wow.

@angelofsmalldeath-codeine said that she’s hooked on my Dieter series because she finds in compelling. It was supposed to be a silly rom-com because I want Pedro to be in one so I wrote for Dieter (he screams rom-com to me) 👀 What really? The goat is a supporting character at this point.

@megamindsecretlair enjoyed both my Sard’ika Sessions and has been following my Dave York series. She said she was gonna miss Din and the read which is a very high complement because that means I wrote something that connected (and was increasing in smuttyness). As for Dave she’s intrigued about how manipulative Dave is with Kiara and how she’s not innocent herself. (She knows he got in her house without a key, hasn’t given him a key. He still is coming in that house when she’s not home. The man still doesn’t have a key. They’re both toxic. 🫡)

@avastrasposts and @secretelephanttattoo who are writers I look up too and am often inspired by concurred when I told them about Bat’s wonderful words. 🥹

Huge thank you’s to the tagged people above and to everyone who had read my fics and been sweet enough to comment, reblog or even like the things. ❤️

I have to finish with my eyes watering now (happy watering) and go to the store. I need honey for my tea. 🍵 Honey without tea for me is a travesty! 😑 It’s just how I like it.

[narwhalandchill]

(soo ignition teaser thoughts ig)

hmmmm im ngl the trailer itself as a like prelude to what is coming in 5.0 intrigue and plot wise is like. compared to the region teasers that came before w lazzo and overture. its just. its kinda bad im sorry KWKJKWDJKWDJK like okay cool seeing the new cast and production value is high as always (+ music) but its such a middling teaser for the story itself?? it feels like a powerpoint presentation of the cast more than anything narratively coherent with an inherent draw and mystery

like theres mavuika speaking to the flame thingy (xbalanque that u? "one entombed in the primal fire" perhaps????) with some intrigue i suppose as well as her brief thing w capitano. ororon also appearing to be working together or aligned with capitano given theyre standing together there which could make for an interesting plot thread but beyond that its very.... eh. its not giving us a lot to grip onto ya know???? and thats rly a shame especially since i also felt that way abt the teaser in the 4.8 livestream. i wish we got more

and sure theres a tournament wahoo but like. its really Not helping to hype up that thing when half the introduced cast isnt being like "OMG the tournament!!!!1!1 this is HUGE!!!1" (or even. "oh no this is BAD!!!1" to set up basic conflict. like why would they dread it?) but instead just. "oh right... the tournament 🙄🙄" like who thought that was a good idea 😭😭 if the PEOPLE of natlan dgaf abt the big plot event happening then how am i as the viewer supposed to feel majorly invested in it . wow theyre tossing a ball around . wow nobody wants it guess ur tournament is having a bit of a PR issue in the making mavuika lmao

anyway i wouldnt even call myself a true capitano glazer despite being a fatuiHQ enjoyer on the side but like. that hmph still carried welcome capHIMpeaktano truly o7 JWDJWDJKDWJK also did yall see the. anemo-ish turquoise flare when mavuika is confronting (?) him? wonder if thats a thing with her flames or is it implying cap as anemo or sth.... i think itd fit him decent enough but ya. looking forward to HIM for sure

(+ congrats to him for losing the goofy timbs from arles animated short lmao like his design looks so fucking sick now)

character design wise uhhhh. well theres the obvious huge fucking issue here and while id say that hoyo p much already showed their true colors on the matter with sumeru that doesnt rly. make it any less disappointing and egregious wrt all the cultures and peoples theyre So willing to gather inspiration from in all possible aspects Other than the diversity of the people themselves. like its just... bad and such a shame but also not very surprising unfortunately.

(and really it just. looks especially bad given they clearly Can put melanin on people its just... enemy mobs only.)

beyond that i kind of dont have anyone that super catches my eye rn??? mainly because . well leaks moment eek but its basically official info now so basically. xilonens existence as a geo and a 5* (which like . u dont need leaks to guess she will be im sorry jdwjdw) was leaked a bit ago as well as the patch she should appear meaning. im actually in chiori rerun savings mode since its very high chance that she will be back w xilonen if anyone. so thats my plan for now kjdwjkdwjkdwjk

in terms of the actual cast i do like kinich and ororons designs v much, the design motifs of the latter especially are interesting bc those eye-like patterns are almost giving quantum symbol (= black hole imagery) to me???? and thats V interesting especially if hes actually working w capitano and the fatui. now him being a cat boy or whatever animals ears those turn out to be isnt like sth thats huge for Me personally but i do think hes valid and also W for anyone whos into that, congrats guys im happy for u ! but like fr itd be such an insane twist if hoyos Finally introducing the void quantum abyss whatever element w him (and maybe cap too.) bc that symbol Rly is looking Curious. or then hes just electro lol. for kinich its like. yeah fair he might be xiao-tighnari-gaming from minecraft ill admit that but. i do like the color scheme and his outfit a lot JKWJKDJKDWJKD so like i forgive it

w the girlies i overall find them all like. quite nice but so far without any personality + lore known its hard to settle my complete thoughts on them just yet. tho citlali being pink is super refreshing for genshin since we do have a shocking absence of it so like shes definitely one im drawn to, chasca looks interesting and like she could play a bigger part plot wise (maybe?) so that might be neat. both her and citlali being cryo is kinda surprising?? but cool. maybe ill get to unbench my shenhe and play some cryo teams again lmao freeze has been dead in abyss for so long now....

xilonen again w the kemomimi isnt sth im particularly into or not into but she looks cool, depending on personality and how her kit synergies turn out (+ assuming the chiori rerun, the fate of those pulls too), i might try for her as well? theres an Energy to her i like it. if she has proper Attitude and flair thats gonna be a massive bonus for me

mualani i think is rather bland to me, sth about her outfit and design just doesnt click for me even if the shark thing from the teaser before is neat and everything. the chibis are never sth im actively drawn to but like both do look okay, im kinda hoping kachina could be a lynette moment for 5.x and end up a free 4* since her exploration roomba looks p fun

anyway then theres. mavuika and i. well at least the design wasnt. That concept art one (ThoseWhoKnow...) . so instant massive W improvement solely on that basis holy fucking shit but ehhhhh im sorry i still dont know how to feel abt the very modern like. biker bodysuit thingy. im not a huge fan of the bodysuit type designs anyway so its not that surprising but still. her eyes + hair is absolutely stunning tho like not a question at all.

tbh in a way i kinda feel like having too many Thoughts on her design is kinda just unnecessary bc like. shes the archon. of Course the kit is going to be insane so i will get her anyway (UNLESS a pyro onfielder JKWJKJKWJKWJKWFKJ like god please no). and in terms of like is her design and energy from what this vid is giving us good enough that i wont like. Actively resent having to get her for meta and strong teams??? Absolutely. so in that sense ig its all cool lmao

but yeah. idk i just think as a teaser for the upcoming story its rly a shame how weak this felt for me???? like sure overture ended up being a bit of a misleading teaser since it gave the impression of arle as this mastermind of the fontaine AQ which didnt rly happen but it still served as a source of hype and intrigue. and yes lazzo is sth that can Never rly be beat in terms of how out of nowhere it was and how fucking insane the whole harbinger reveal went (+ elogia cinerosa existing) for lore and long term hype but its just. unfortunately those 2 are the regional teasers this natlan one is supposedly meant to parallel and it just didnt deliver anything comparable to those for me

like still looking forward to natlan and seeing the rest of its cast (like im fairly convinced the flame thingy might be xbalanque and hes gonna be a big deal ultimately or sth) and where it goes and all its environments but this trailer didnt rly. grip me the way i wouldve expected it to. which is unfortunate kdjkdwjkwjkdwj but yea thats all

[snowthornes]

A warning: ahead is a very very long essay-slash-ramble about Salyra, a character from Crown of Exile by @ramonag-if . I have a lot of thoughts about her complexities as a character as well as the tragedies of her relationship with the MC, so I figured I should just put them all into words before I explode. If you haven't read CoE yet, please do — you won't regret it!! Especially if you're a huge fan of complicated, "okay wow this hurts" family angst and heart melting romance. 🥹✨✨

Salyra is someone who possesses the self-created tragedy of a hero. When Salyra believes in something, she believes in it with her whole heart, and she'll stop at nothing to fight for it. She's... the hero that many adore, but hurts those closest to her, directly or indirectly. Like her family, who've heard nary a word from her for all those years, not knowing if she was alive or dead. Like the MC.

Salyra's sacrificed countless things for her cause, and those sacrifices sometimes involved the hearts of those who loved her.

She's willful. Willful and determined. Great qualities for a rebellion's leader/figure of inspiration; not so much for when you're trying to patch up a relationship with your child who had long thought you dead, and had suffered for it.

It's like she thinks that if she pushes enough, if she shows MC the depths of her sincerity, it'll make MC accept her after all those years. It doesn't. For certain MCs, anyway. It only serves to push them further away.

Right, this is going to swerve into more specific territory. I'll be going into a little more detail on my MC's relationship with Salyra. The relationship between Salyra and my MC just... fascinates me.

Salyra is the high priestess, adored by the people of Ishari. MC... is MC. They were discriminated, mistreated, and followed with gazes of spite and distrust in Cyre because of their Ishari blood. Once MC returned to Ishari, they were greeted with — surprise, surprise — even more gazes of distrust and suspicion! Partly because of their blood guard parentage, partly because of their loyalty to the exiled prince, etc etc.

You stare at Rana, suddenly conflicted with anger and betrayal. You never wanted a sister, you only wanted a mother. Rana stares at you, suddenly gripping onto Mama's arm and twisting behind her, as if afraid to look up at you. A look of disappointment flashes through Mama's eyes, but it is directed at you, not Rana. It is a look you remembered Mama using when anyone would upset you as a child and now, you find yourself bearing the full force of her frown. You would laugh were it not so painful to think about the life you were robbed while Mama evidently moved on.

"Avriel," Mama murmurs. "You are my son and I know that I have not always been there for you, but I would like to remedy that. We cannot gain back what we have lost, but we have time now to find each other again."

"I need to go," Mama murmurs. "Rana needs me, Avriel. So does Danzor."

For a moment, you catch sight of your mother, but she does not see you. After returning to the temple, she has washed and changed, the priestesses who had been chanting earlier, now crowding around her. Anu called Mama the High Priestess and you cannot help but wonder just how long she has been in Ishari.

It's these. These scenes. Salyra has built a life in Ishari, a life without the MC. A loving family, a figure loved by the people... this is all that MC knows of who Salyra is now. The Salyra presented to him is a hero. A golden existence, a light in the dark, fearless leader of the rebellion.

(They need you? What about me, Mama? Do I not need you as well?)

(Those who had looked at you with suspicion now look at her with respectful, even admiring eyes. Salyra has a life here. But you — you are just the same. You are an outsider still, whether in Cyre or Ishari.)

Avriel is genuine and soft hearted, but he has a spine of unbending steel. He is proud. All those years mourning Salyra, grieving for her, only to find her alive and well in Ishari and with a family that she so clearly (and here we have a peek into Avriel's pain induced bitter thoughts, because honestly, that sad and angry child from so long ago never truly left him) prioritizes over him.

It's like his life has been rendered into a bitter joke.

What does Salyra want from him? Does she expect him to come and go as she pleases, there when she wants him and gone when she doesn't? Is he expected to wait in the wings as Salyra tends to her new family, only playing the part of a loving son when her eyes turn to him once more? Salyra, his mama. Salyra, now the head priestess, looked upon with respect by the very people who had looked at him with such suspicion.

(^ Above is Avriel's current thought process. Yes, he's a real mess. Irus is having a hell of a time soothing him, as the usual gentle-eyed man is currently very much like a wounded cat with its claws out and teeth bared, eyes set in a glacial glint.)

And honestly, those words might be quite unfair to Salyra. We do not know what she's experienced. Not yet. But are the words left spoken and unspoken between mother and child always fair? I think not. Salyra's expectations of MC could be called unfair as well, depending on the MC you're playing.

I just. I just find this so tragic. Salyra is a deeply complex character. Her greatest strengths are also her deepest flaws. Ironic, how the qualities that made her a hero could be the very thing that chills the heart of her child. I remember you said that Salyra will wise up on how to treat the MC in a future chapter, but wow. The tragedy of Salyra being her own undoing and the detoriation of the relationship between lauded mother and outcast child is just. Wow.

Also. leaving this here because Irus + Nearly Feral with Rage MC is everything:

You nearly laugh, the bitter rage that has been festering beneath your skin like a swarm of wasps, threatens to erupt from your skin. Prince Irus settles a hand on your shoulder and instantly, you are looking at him, noting the concern in his gaze. All at once, the rage leaves you, until you can finally breathe once more.

[sarah-sandwich-writes]

for the title ask game: We Were Gods (we were kids)

I want to hear more about that one, that's a riveting title! :eyes:

Ahhh yes, so originally this fic was inspired by the song Battle Cries by The Amazing Devil. It's a duet and like a divorce song? "This isn't a break-up, dearheart, it's a season finale!" I got the title from the lyrics where one part sings the line "We were gods" and then the other part echoes it with "We were kids" and that's just *chefs kiss* perfect fanfic title thank you TAD <333

The premise was childhood friends to estranged almost lovers to supers fighting on opposite sides to reluctant allies to (finally) lovers. And it was going to be a parkner fic (peter parker/harley keener). It was going to be an epic slow burn spanning nearly their whole lives.

Then I thought why not pry it out of its fanfic foundation and stand it on its own as an original concept? Harley is essentially my OC and Peter could be shaped into an OC too and the plot I had in mind had hardly any of the source material in it so why not? I'd just tweak some names, create my own super powers and aliens and then boom! Book!

Didn't work 🙃 I wrote a 110k draft and got to the end and was like wow this sucks. I half-assed the world building and tried to hang onto plot devices that just don't work outside the mcu (they don't even work within the mcu but I digress) SO now we're back to square one: making it a fanfic. Except it's not really square one because I have 110k that I need to snip and prune and repot back into a fic.

Actually it's more like 85k bc I have to re-write the beginning since I ended up keeping that part for my book, but the rest just needs reworked into something I like with the characters that we know and love plugged back in. It's going to be a massive revision project but not any more difficult than writing the thing lol

But anyway! It's going to feature super villain!Harley which I am very excited about. He is sooooo tortured in this one and Peter has the shittest luck in the whole world <333

I don't have a good excerpt to share so here is the high-level outline for part one!

Part 1: Childhood

Peter’s parents die in a plane crash. He moves to Rose Hill to live with Uncle Ben and Aunt May and meets Harley

Harley has his hands full with… his dad just walked out. He wasn’t abusive. It was just shocking and all at once. They thought something terrible happened, but after they report him missing Scotty at the corner store stops by and says he sold him scratchers. Then a few hours later the sheriff stops over with his hat in his hands and tells them his truck was found in the lot at the airport in Nashville. “Let him go,” Mama says. “Don’t want no man who don’t wanna be around. Let ‘im go.” And that was the end of that.

Peter arrives while Harley is getting used to being the only one home after school. Abbie’s off with Mrs. Farley in town while Mama works, so it’s just him most days ‘til Mama gets home around 5.

Starts hanging out with the Parkers. They keep him ‘round for dinner. Scares Mama the first time bc he didn’t ask ahead and wasn’t home when she got there. She demands to meet them.

They get on great and once they learn of her newly single situation they offer to watch Harley in the afternoons until she gets home from work. No need for payment or thank yous—it just so happens that Peter could really use a friend right now and they’ve been getting along so well.

So it begins. No creek. No pokemon. Peter and Aunt May clash like the dickens, but Uncle Ben is always cool and rational and settles things before they go too far. It’s nice.

Peter is obsessed with planes and tracking flights and researching news of lost flights, crashes, etc. Huge fear of flying, but not of heights. This fear stays with him, even when Harley turns into a flying superhero.

EJ is Harley’s bully. Harley is a talkative little nerd with a stutter and a penchant for mathematics. He attracts the mean types and Peter has a loud bark and never has had the good sense to back down from a fight. The shared battles cement them together.

After being blindsided by his dad leaving, Harley had to reevaluate everything he thought about family. Family is no longer who you get along with, despite differences. It’s no longer who you put on a smile for. It’s who you can disagree with and still hug and laugh with at the end of the day. It’s refreshing that he always knows where he stands with the Parkers. They have big feelings and they don’t bury them, but they’re solid. They’re dependable. They’re there.

Then the Parkers move to New York and leave Harley behind and his theory on what makes a family falls apart all over again.

[hyun-xxe]

Did I Cross the Line? (JUNGKOOK X F!Reader)

Summary: You and Jungkook are happy together and are deeply in love. However, no matter what you still have doubts. Did you cross the line?

*heavily inspired by Billie Eilish new song “WILDFLOWER”*

You hated the way onions made your eyes burn and water, but you push through and chop some up to place in a pot.

Usually on Fridays it was leftover night, but something in you wanted to make a special dinner because you saw something on Instagram.

Everything feels better when you felt your fiancés arms snake around your waist and give you small kisses on the back of your ear.

Smiling, you place down the knife and give him a smile, pecking his lips. 

“Hello my love.”  you whisper

His smile is wider and he leans in to kiss you on the lips a little longer, “Hello to you too, my Love.”

You see him turn around and grab something, “What do you have there?” you asked, trying to peer around his form.

He chuckles and whips out some Lilies that he bought, “For you.”

You eyed the flowers and grab it. In your heart, you knew you should be jumping for joy and giving him a kiss, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t do that because these weren’t your favorite flowers.

During the months of you guys dating, you’ve always had thoughts of a lot of things, and this just solidified it. You knew he didn’t mean it, but it just naturally happens. 

Lilies weren’t your favorite, they were your friends favorite.

1 year ago…

You remember the first time you met your best friends boyfriend. She decided to hold a dinner with some friends to introduce him.

When you arrived at the restaurant, she stood from her seat and wrapped her arms around you, squeezing the life out of you. 

“You made it!! I can’t believe THE Y/N made it!!” she laughed.

You hugged her back, laughing along, “Oh shut up Lydia!! I always make it.”

She grabbed your hand and dragged you to the table where you can only spot a strange man.

“Jungkook, this is my bestie Y/N! Y/N, this is my amazing boyfriend!”

You extend your hand to shake his, to which he takes and smiles, “Nice to meet you, Lydia talks highly of you a lot.”

A chuckle left your mouth as you sat down across from Jungkook, “I’m really glad! She talks highly of you too.” you then turn to your friend, “Where are the others?”

She sighed, “They had to cancel. They were all coming together from the same place and the subway is on lock down because of a threat.”

Your eyes widen, “Oh wow, that’s really scary.” 

Your friend immediately changed the topic so you can catch up and also get to know Jungkook.

After that night, Lydia called you all night to talk more about her new relationship and you didn’t mind one bit. After all, ever since she was little she always wanted a boyfriend and now that her dream was coming true, you were happy for her.

At work a few days later, you decided to take your break and explore a little to different stores. That’s where you met Jungkook again. 

He spotted you right away and walked up, “Hi Y/N! what a coincidence seeing you here!”

You looked at him surprise, “Jungkook, hi!! Yeah, that’s crazy, what are you doing here?” you ask.

He smiles and holds up an action figure, “I am a huge nerd for these things and love to collect them, I know it’s stupid.”

You shake your head, “Stupid? Not at all, I love collecting these too! Especially Marvek characters!”

A gasp leaves his lips as a huge smile overtakes his face, “Really? I’m glad you do, Lydia doesn’t so it’s hard getting her into it.”

“Yeah, I’ve been trying to get her into this, but it’s just not her thing.” you laugh, “but she’s still amazing.”

He checked his watch and widen his eyes, “Oh, speaking Lydia we have a date tonight, I should head home to get ready.” he walks toward the door but then turns to look back, “What flowers should a man show up with?”

You smile, “Lilies, those are her favorite.”

present..

“Are you ok? Do you not like flowers?” he asked, taking a step back.

You shake your head and take the wrapping off the flowers, “Uhm, no these are pretty. Thank you.”

As you were putting water in a vase, he sees the expression on your face, “Well, it doesn’t seem like it.”

You sigh and hang your head down, “These aren’t my favorite flowers. You know that Jungkook.”

He tilts his head in confusion before realization hits him, “O-oh, i’m sorry Y/N, i don’t know how i forgot, I didn’t mean to.”

Nodding your head, you place the flowers in the vase, “Yeah, I know, it’s whatever.” 

Jungkook noticed the tears in your eyes and he felt bad, “No, it’s jot whatever. I’m sorry Y/N, I sincerely didn’t meant to.”

You start to cry and you grabbed a tissue to dry the tears, “It’s just so hard, so hard Jungkook.” you whisper.

“What’s hard? Is everything ok?”

You turn off the stove and shook your head again, “No, I just don’t wanna say. I don’t wanna ruin things between us.”

Jungkook tried grabbing your hands softly but you pulled away, “Please just talk to me.”

“Do you know how hard things have been? For a while now, I’ve been feeling so fucking guilty. So insanely guilty and terrible.”

“What happened? Is everything ok?” he kept questioning, panic laced in his voice.

“Do you see Lydia whenever you’re with me? Is she in the back of your mind? Because no matter what, she’s always in mind and I can’t help but feel so fucking guilty!” tears kept rolling down your cheek and wouldn’t stop.

“Please, calm down, it’s ok.” he tried reassuring you but you couldn’t calm down. Everything - all the memories of them and of you and him kept plaguing your mind.

“You just don’t get it.” you cry, “I’m a horrible friend.”

1 year ago…

You were in your kitchen cleaning up after you cooked yourself dinner. Tomorrow is your day off so you cooked yourself something nice and wanted to watch an old rom com.

However, a knock was heard on your door and it confused you. There was no one you were expecting, especially this late at night.

Before opening the door, you peeked through the hole and noticed your friend outside.

You quickly opened the door and that’s when you saw Lydia’s sad, tear stained face.

“Oh my gosh Lydia, what happened?!” you pulled her inside and locked the door, “Are you ok?”

She doesn’t say anything but pulls you into a hug and cries loudly.  “I hate it Y/N, I hate this feeling so much!!”

You hugged her back tightly and rubbed her back, “Lydia, what happened? What hurts?”

She pulls away and you dry away her tears, “We broke up.”

Things fall apart and time breaks your heart, I wasn’t there but I know

You both lay on the couch, and you listen to her every word.

She was your girl, you showed her the world 

You fell out of love and you both let go

Feeling her head in your shoulder, her tears soak your sleeve but you don’t mind. You only care about your friends feelings.

She was crying on my shoulder, all I could do was hold her

Only made us closer until July

The days after their breakup, she was still in despair and you allowed her to take time. After all, a broken heart was the worst feeling ever.

You got a text from Jungkook randomly one day and it confused you. However, there was no need to be mean when it was a mutual breakup between the two and Jungkook wasn’t a bad guy.

jungkook: Hi y/n, how are you?

you: Hi jungkook, i’m doing good lol just work and resting. hbu

jungkook: doing good too. how’s lydia holding up?

you: she’s doing much better, thanks for asking.

jungkook: i’m rlly glad! i was worried for her for a sec…

you: me too, but i’m glad she’s feeling much better

jungkook: me too. also, are you going this saturday to Lionel’s house?

you: yes, more than likely! why do you ask?

jungkook: no i was just wondering!

the convo went on but died off, which was natural between you two. There wasn’t much to touch base on since he was no longer with your best friend.

But even so, he still managed to text you here and there just to talk. It didn’t weird you out at all.

As days went on before your friends mini party, you started to feel sick which was rare for you. Ever since you were little, getting sick was a weird phobia of yours and you tried your very best to prevent it.

However, this sickness couldn’t be prevented and it left you bed rested. Your whole body was weak and your throat was hurting even worst.

You texted Lionel to tell him you couldn’t make it and that you were sorry, but you knew for sure your sickness wouldn’t be cure by then.

Since you were alone, you couldn’t wait for someone to bring you food, so you knew you had to get up and make it, but your body was just so weak.

jungkook: hey

you: hey jungkook

jungkook: i heard from lionel that you can’t make it. is everything ok?

you: yes it is! i’m just a little sick.

jungkook: are you ok? do you need anything?

you: no i’m good! thanks for asking though that means a lot :)

you turned your phone off and tried going back to sleep, but before you could fully sleep, your doorbell rang.

Groaning, you walked towards the door and opened it only to see Jungkook standing there with groceries.

“Jungkook? what are you doing here?” you open the door and usher him inside. “It’s freezing outside!”

He places the bags on your counter, “I brought some stuff to make you dinner.”

You tilt your head in confusion, “But why? I was going to.” you coughed a little.

Jungkook looked you up and down, “Not to be rude, but you look too sick to do this. Besides, I remember Lydia would tell me how stubborn you were when it came to asking people for help.”

He began making soup for you, cutting the veggies and adding them to the pot. He did it so effortlessly and with ease, making you stand there in awe. 

Noticing you standing there, he helps you to the couch and turns on the TV for you, “Please, just rest. It will be done in a little.”

A few minutes later, soup appeared in front of you and it made your mouth water and your sinus go away for a little. “Thank you so much, you have no idea how much this means to me.”

He gave you some medicine and helped you with a lot of other things. 

That was when you started to notice him.

A few days later there was word that he was sick, so you decided to repay the favor and do the same for him.

This is how things started. It was the little things you both did for each other, the increase in conversations and visits to each other.

He seemed perfect in every way and you both shared so much in common, but there was one thing hindering you from making a move: Lydia.

The guilty feeling eats you away everytine you think of Jungkook and you hate it. So, you try pushing him away, but he wouldn’t let that happen.

“Y/N, I know you don’t want me to say this, but I like you, a lot.”

hearing that confession changed everything and in that moment you forgot about everything as you kissed him.

You wanted to push him away, but he was just intoxicating.

That’s when you both started to date under the radar and it was perfect, you loved it.

Now I know that you love me, you don’t need to remind me. I should put it all behind me, shouldn’t i?

However, you couldn’t help but compare your guys relationship with his and Lydia’s. no matter how much you try and get that out of your head, it would linger. 

Every date he took you on would make you question if he took Lydia here and if he wanted to come so he could be reminded of her.

Doubts began to grow but you tried throwing it out because you know Jungkook feelings for you were true.

But I see her, in the back of my mind all the time. Like a fever, like i’m burning alive

Like a sign

Did I cross the line?

When Lydia found out about you both, you expected her to get angry and never want to talk to you again, but she was cool about it. 

She tried reassuring you that it was ok and that they both broke things off so it was ok. 

Still, even her words of reassurance wasn’t enough. 

Well good things don’t last and life moves so much fast

I’d never asked who was better

Cause she couldn’t be more different than me 

happy and free in leather 

That was one thing that kept you up at night. You and Lydia were both different in a lot of ways, so you couldn’t help but think if he preferred her over you.

Did he prefer to do things with her and the things she liked? Did he liked doing that? Or did he prefer things with you?

You never voiced your thoughts to your boyfriend in fear that he would feel bad, so you kept quiet 

And I know that you love me

You don’t need to remind me

Wanna put it all behind me but baby

I see her in the back of my mind all the time

Feels like a fever like i’m burning alive 

Like a sign 

Did i cross the line?

After he proposed to you, it was your first valentines together as fiancés and you were excited. 

He took you to dinner, bought you some gifts and took you to the hotel room to make love to you.

Everything was perfect and you felt like you were in heaven. As he was sleeping, you stayed up a little later to admire the ring on your finger.

This was to signify that you both were going to have a future together and you couldn’t wait.

Looking at your fiancé, you noticed him heavily asleep and it made you squeal as he looked to cute.

You poked his nose for fun and loved seeing him sniffle as he tried swatting your hand away.

Laughing, you did it once more and he swat your hand away again.

“Lydia, not now please.”

That name made you freeze and your heart sank. 

All this time did he think of her? All your moment with him, even the intimate ones, did he think you as Lydia? 

Were you her replacement? Was this all a lie.

Tears started to fall and you got up to go to the bathroom. You didn’t want to wake him up and have him see you cry.

You say no one knows you so well

But everytine you touch me, I just wonder how she felt 

Valentine’s day, cryin in the hotel 

You cried yourself an hour before cleaning yourself up. Not wanting to bring this up and bury it deep, you just left it behind. 

This was just one incident, you knew he didn’t mean it and that it was just natural for him. After all, they were together for a while.

I know you didn’t mean to hurt me so I kept it to myself 

And I wonder

Do you see her in the back of your mind? In my eyes?

present day…

Hearing all of your doubts throughout your relationship, Jungkook couldn’t help but feel horrible.

Knowing that he accidentally said his ex name on Valentine’s day, a day that was meant for just you two, caused him to start crying out of guilt.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you keep all of this to yourself?” he asked, holding you tightly.

“I was scared. I didn’t want you to start overthinking like I was and i just wanted things to be perfect.” you confessed.

Jungkook held your face softly in his hands, “Listen to me love, whatever you worry about, i worry about. Whatever you’re thinking, I want to think. Whatever hurts you, I want to know what or who is hurting you.

“When I asked you to marry me and you said yes, Y/N you have no idea how happy I was. You’re my everything and I am so obsess with you. Me and you are whole and whatever you go through, we go through together and make it out as one.”

Hearing those words made you smile and you leaned into his hands, “I’m really sorry, i thought keeping this to myself would make things better.”

He shakes his head, “everything would’ve been good for me since i would’ve thought that things were good. Please, tell me these things. Lydia was in the past, everything i felt for her is gone. You’re mine, I’m yours and goddamn am I happy to know that. I love you so much and I want you to know that whatever you’re feeling is valid.

“i’m sorry for that valentines night, you didn’t deserve that.”

You smile and kiss his lips, “It’s ok, i’m glad i let this all out because it feels so much better. I love you.”

He gives you a kiss and smiles, “I’m not gonna lie, Your hands smell like onions. You want some help?”

You both laugh as you both decided to continue cooking, the Lilies long gone and thrown in the trash