#and now its half ten
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I swear I meant for this fic to be a shorter story. I promise I was trying to practice my short form fanfiction. I didn't mean for it to exceed the word limit by more than triple the amount. You have to believe me, the details got out of hand and I'm only halfway through and it's twenty-nine pages, and I truly did not intend for it to get out of hand.
#yes its a bakudeku fic#bkdk#bakudeku#bakugou katsuki#izuku midoriya#deku#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#fanfic#dkbk#bkdkbk#fanfiction#fan fiction#ao3#archiveofourown#archive of our own#the fic was supposed to be 3k max and now it's ten fucking thousand words long and half finished#im on a roll tho and think i can finish it up this weekend#or at least add another 10k words and hope it'll be close to the end#im losing it guys
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Its actually so baffling how narancia gets pushed in the sunshine funny character mold in the fandom when hes not that at all just bc what. He has some whimsy and likes to dance and is stupid*
#Sorryy that whenever i make a post about him its to complain but its shocking how much i never see anything of the actual character#and hes just portrayed as the funny kid#Every fandom does this etc its just so annoying when it happens to a guy i like. Come on now#Txt#Also frankly i just don't see many posts about narancia at all its always all the other guys except for trish which. Shocking#Ive seen ten times more fugo and i love fugo but hes gone for half the story. Girl!
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i dont smoke but i wish i did its one of those days
#text#>wait outside for 20 minutes for the bus that comes on the hour (ish)#>its 15 minutes late#>woman walks by and tells us its delayed another half hour#>check the transit app#>transit app confirms this#>i go up to my room and lie down#>check again#>now it says itll be there at the regular time#>Glad i went back to my room#>30 minutes pass#>Bus is here again.#>transit app still says the normal time#>??????????#ALSO. FOR CONTEXT.#IT IS 10 (TEN) DEGREES OUTSIDE. FARENHEIT#celcius users thats like -12#i am SO COLD#and i need to go to the fucking STORE
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GOOD NEWS!!! My favourite bonkers nurses and pilots show is apparently back!!!! Hello again, Skymed! I can't wait to see what blows up this season!
#skymed#look you think 911 lone star (and presumably 911 though i havent actually seen the OG yet) have batshit pacing?#skymed leaves them in the fucking dust#my favourite is that season one episode where a wandering around in the wilderness training exercise where something goes wrong#that in some shows would be at LEAST half an episode if not a whole one#is like one of four plots in that episode and takes ten minutes#i love it its so wild#it's not good but its wildly entertaining#also manitoba looks gorgeous in it#and some of the first nations plot lines are actually kind of good and very genuine?#megan holmstrom and braeden clarke are punching WAY about the weight of the show#though i fear braeden clarke may now be on north of north instead#which i should also watch
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18f!!!!! Balmy today!!!!
#Now let's go run ten miles? More than that? Idk and I kinda don't care.....#Made my training plan but its so half assed it's p similar to my last marathon w/out speedwork and probably with trails
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Who's gonna get whacked by the snowstorm? It's supposed to get me the next two days and I'm kinda excited tbh 👀
ARE Y'ALL PREPARED?!
#my animals all should be okay#im just a bit worried about the half wild chickens who wont let me put them in the coop#or even the garage#i know theyll be ok with the cold im just worried about how deep the snow will be#ill have to keep up on making paths for them#other than that#i have enough animal and people food to last awhile and i have extra straw in case someone needs more#also got ten gallons each of diesel and gas#lots of blankets medical supplies board games#oh dang i should make sure my portable phone charger is charged#i really need to get a solar charger#the thing im worried about most is if the power goes out#we have a generator but if we can keep the house warm during the day we might turn it off at night#and i know its stupid but i have anxiety and nighttime is really hard for me#especially in pitch black silence#i dont like the way my fear and anxiety makes my heart feel#anyway#ill stop rambling now#yall are in my prayers#please pray for us
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I am once again being haunted by "a paradox" holy fuck Olivia what the fuck is going on here what did you get yourself involved with and what did you do after it speak to me Olivia I can't keep living like this
#rat rambles#oni posting#the second half fills you with the horrors so you forget that the log opened up with that b111-1 bomb#for the record a paradox is one of my favorite lore logs of all of them because its the log that made me go Oh Shit and go reread all the#olivia logs I initially only skimmed through and begun the olivia brain takeover#the second part rewired my brain irreversably like its so fucked I love it#in particular one thing that makes me so fucking glad that the old olivia jackie logs were scrapped is that originally jackie was the one#who printing pod ified olivia to save her from the end of the world or smth#but the change to make it self inflicted? fucking amazing ten million times better and more interesting#especially because it implies she did it on purpose!#which opens up so many doors and I fucking Love it#because the teleportation technology was what she knew of as a method of doing this but either A shed have to have kept using teleporters#anyways and either just count on her not dying or counting On her dying#or shed have to know the link between it and the neural vaculators#which is very possible considering Stuff™ but does raise the question of how she used it#now the boring answer is that her brain map was already taken from the neural vaculator tests but god. that answer is boring.#the most interesting possibility to me personally is that she could have well. tinkered a bit with existing technology.#unlikely? maybe. fun to explore for my purposes? yep.#also I need the peace of knowing that jackie never got the satisfaction of knowing what happened with olivia's dissapearance#or if she did only after the fact#I need this to have been completely out of jackie's viewpoint at the top and I need it to fuck with her and shatter her worldview#I need to see the desperation and paranoia of a woman who is realizing that she has lost control over her technology#I need to see her try to cling onto her past ambitions and sense of control while falling apart at the seams#and I need olivia to have never thought jackie would give a shit until all else but her is dead and gone#do you see my vision do you see it do you see how much more fun it is if it was extremely deliberate instead of only lightly so
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special color is gonna be a song thatll make me cry when i watch the live for sure
#and thats not a huge list! its just that like half of it is hasu songs#gemitus#wahhh ive been watching Anything in the world to put off ep 8 because i heard its painful but ive run out (• ▽ •;)#like im in november (just 6.5 weeks behind now!) and everythings ramping up and everythings making me cry!!!!#just checked and i cried six of the last ten days!!!!!! (superstar finale sukumyudora finale that were 'real time'#and then i rewatched the keke arc during that time too!!!!!!!
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#one piece#sanji#black leg sanji#everysanji#sabaody archipelago#ch512#well anyway i'm doing 511 and 512 on the same night bc i want to fluff the queue a bit more#we're getting pretty close to the marineford war arc and there are not going to be a lot of sanjis there... i'm torn between actually doing#a reread for me personally and just skimming for sanjis. i do want to read a few more manga series#i have a list of josei recs from some youtubers i watch since i enjoy josei games#i'm thinking on reading uhhhh life lessons with uramichi oniisan soon since that one seems very funny#idk maybe in a few chapters you'll see my review in some of these tags#but the other 3 series on my notecard areeeee dont call it mystery. even though we're adults (which is also yuri)#and apple children of aeon which i'm probably going to do next? idk yet.#well anyway i'm also getting even deeper into 18trip like its bad bad#netaro sr event happening rn and thank god its just an sr bc i went broke pulling#for nagi's birthday card (got his initial ssr. no birthday though </3#) and renga's birthday is august 9th and grrrrr#i read a better tl of renga's light novel + liguang's ln + first half of sun will r1ze and oh my fucking god#i need a better tl of ten's ln NOW come onnnnnn let me go insane#i'm probably going to be posting 18trip meta on main if anyone was that interested#in my takes on a kinda niche new josei game#play/read 18trip though this is a Threat
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everybody listen to me. i have so many words written. i know my ao3 has been dead for weeks but that is NOT because i haven't been writing. listen. august is gonna be such a fucking month for us
#tens of thousands#i have 40k of jaott#i have chapter 2 of lazarus tendencies half written#two shiny new oneshots one of thems over 7k now and its so close to done#did i mention jaott is at 40k.#ive been SO BUSY#nix rambles
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i dressed real scene today and some little four year old boys were looking at me like i was so cool and it felt good
#for those who don't know#i'm like a part time scene kid#i listen to a bit of scene tunes now and then and occasionally dress in rainbows and goth shit and kandi beads#its very thrown together handmade cheap shit but thats like the whole spirit of scene so it works#and always the same outfit too rip#because i have like. one outfit per occasion per theme often with intersecting pieces of clothing#because i cant afford more than one outfit per theme because i am multifaceted and desire variety in themes#i do not belong to one subculture which is why i prioritise versatility in clothes and why half my clothes are black XD#i have my scene outfit#my vampire outfit#my witch outfit#my rainbow outfit#my pastel outfit#my sanrio-themed outfit#my butch enby visiting mitre ten fish-themed outfit#and all of them are signified by a signature hawaiian shirt or hoodie
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The face of a lizard grappling with the very real possibility the angry lady with the big sword could see exactly what he's thinking about instead of listening to 90% of the words she says.
#ronan: you can look into my head#but only the past ten minutes#dont look any farther#sometimes he's thinking how how irritating his armor is today#sometimes its opening his mouth and setting her on fire because she's insulting him in some fashion again#sometimes? sometimes it's a certain someones ass in their stupidly tight pants.#someone whos right over his shoulder#ronan has many thoughts and lae'zel is very confused and emotional right now#please dont do a stab to your cleric who keeps you alive and well#she already threatened him like three times in the past half hour. got very mad when he wouldnt kneel to her queen god lady#this was a fun quest#and ronan got the cool OP mace as a reward!#bg3
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lol i want to fucking die just like i predicted
#everyone jumped me my last couple of free days#friends family professors#i have like 10 ppl and 10 assignments i have to meet/finish in the next... 4 days#yall cannot be real right now#and also i just came back from the worst bday party#i felt so overwhelmed and excluded evem though i knew half of the people there#i wanna cry#and i cant just tell my friends/family oh i dont have time for you lol shouldve texted me earlier#im so bad at saying no like that#at this point i think ill just.. stop coming to my home country for holidays#its starting to always be a fucking nuisanc#e#like im supposed to enjoy my time here not stress about it#if i was abroad at least i wouldnt hwve to think about fitting ten fucking people who feel entitled to my time in my schedule#but alright#my head aches
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last day of school !!! feels surreal
#ok im excited for summer to start but aughhh#im going to a new school next year and its . its scary bc im gonna have to go by bus all alone#theres people i know in that school and thats gonna be fun !! but i still dont know anyone other than those like three people and its just a#huge change overall and im not used to that kinda changes#like yeah i know i chose to go there myself but . whatever#also ive been in the school im currently in for ten years give or take#and a decade is . a LOT of time at least from my perspective#and i barely just got to push myself and talk to my classmates!!!#these past few months have been funner than the last several years solely bc i was talking to my classmates#now i wont see them again probably :(#idk . its sad#that im not gonna see those people ive spent more than half of my life of again . even if i never talked to them#sighs#ikna talks
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i think the thing that makes me most powerful as an artist is the fact that i have kept copies in some form or another of almost everything i have made since i started and thus whenever the imposter syndrome is hitting i can look at the literal piles of sketchbooks and notebooks and binders i keep the physical copies of my work in and go oh yeah. ive been working at this for like ten years. and then it just goes away.
anyway i absolutely recommend this as a strategy no matter how cringey it might seem keeping visual evidence of skill progression is an incredible tool against imposter syndrome. voice in your head can't tell you you're faking your skills if you can pull out a literal record of your skill growth against it
#even digital stuff like.#keep a file on a physical drive with your shit on it. back it up every once in a while.#google docs is fine but nothing quite beats digging through your files on your laptop and finding something you wrote five years ago#that's maybe not as technically sound as what you can do *now* but still isn't like bad.#legitimately i found a notebook while cleaning last month that was just like.#half of a novel. handwritten in this little composition notebook.#was it *good?* eh! but im also looking at that after yeah like five or six YEARS of practice#and that even beats finding stuff i wrote. like. Actually Legitimately Ten Years Ago#always makes me sad to see younger artists than me declaring theyre gonna delete their stuff cause its embarrassing or cringey#like. ok so what i spent a full two years drawing bad undertale comics with every panel on a new piece of paper.#im going to keep them until i have no choice but to get rid of them which will likely be when *i* die and not a moment before#reminder i need to back up my stuff . wheres my hard drive for that.
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got birthday-spanked at work lads
#yelped loud enough half the production floor turned around kcdmsmdmdm#theres probably a handprint tbh#its been like ten years since ive had my ass touched why now#also dont get me hornty at work that shit aint right
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