#and now I log off

[imhereonthekitchenfloor]

Since I'm falling asleep I think now would be the appropriate time to say my least favorite Taylor photoshoots are the Wonderland magazine and Lover full album shoot.

[catch-needed-hobbies]

Esteemed followers, beloved mutuals. Tomorrow, September 20th, Transformers One releases to the public. As I will not be watching the film until Sunday, I shall barricade myself from all forms of social media.

That being said, I will be catching up on what everyone here has to say about Rampage and Collision.

But after the day of the reckoning in which I will most likely be rendered an emotional mess over giant robots that still has to go and do a dinner shift almost immediately afterwards cause I didn't ask for the night off, I may not be the same woman.

I will remember you all, but in advance, I'm preparing y'all for me to act like this for the next couple weeks

[mylittleredgirl]

that moment when you cross the point of no return with a character should be accompanied by a specific chime i think. like 🔔 congratulations! this one has been installed in the Permanent Collection and you will never stop thinking about them as long as you live

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

posting this with absolutely no context

[spacehomos]

Kaos

The Gods

[dreaming-tonite]

Pairing: Logan Howlett x reader

Warning: face fucking, deep throat

Word count: ~1k

Thinking about Logan Howlett taking long drags of his cigar while fucking your face.

Short-fused and often brash, some might call him egotistic even. Whether he would agree with that general statement or not, seeing your eyes wide, lips opened, on your knees and obediently taking whatever he gives you definitely boosted his ego like nothing else. Sloppy noises of you slobbering all over his large cock are all that can be heard in the room except for the occasional exhales he took, a white cloud of smoke slipping from his lips in place of a moan as he thrust steadily into your wet, warm mouth.

Despite being a little rough on most other occasions, he is not mean about it. He knows his size and that a pretty thing like you, who stares at him all doe-eyed and batting your lashes while he treats you like a fuck toy, would definitely be struggling and gagging if he forced you to take his entire length (though the image turns him on like no other, he would have to admit). Slipping in no more than a half of his length each time, his large hand gripped at the back of your head and pushing you just a little deeper into him each time his hips bucked, the angry vein that snakes along the underside of his cock throbs whenever you moaned around him.

Logan’s throat bobbed at the vibration and your core ached when he stared at you through hooded lids, eyes narrowed and a dark glint behind his orbs. The thick cigar hung loosely on his lips as he pulled out of you, fisting himself with your saliva coating his shaft and white beads of pre leaking from the red tip.

He let out a growly chuckle, low and deep from the back of his broad chest, when you keep your mouth open for him, your tongue lolling out almost too eagerly for him. 

You fought back the urge to taste him when he held himself against your face and teasingly dragged his tip along your bottom lips. You could almost taste the saltiness of his arousal and you whined when he pulled away to take a drag of his tobacco. 

He was the most handsome man you had ever seen, let alone be yours when his chest rose slightly as he inhaled and his lips quivered just slightly as he exhaled, a quiet and content sigh leaving the back of his throat together with the smoke. 

Your back straightened in anticipation when he put the cigar out and his full attention was finally on you. 

“You are so good to me, bub,” he mumbled as his eyes racked up and down your form, your hands on your knees and waiting for him to ravage you as he took your face in his hot hands in a motion almost too gentle for that act you were engaged in, “too good.”

His breath hitched when you nuzzled your face against his cock, kissing the crown and making a show to moan when you tasted his semen.

“Think you could handle the whole thing?” He asked, his hands gripping your jaw. He watched as your lips hung wide open when you felt the pressure of his fingers. 

He did not waste a single second when you gave him a small nod, shoving his hard cock all the way until it hit the back of your throat with both his hands at the back of your head. Your eyes immediately teared up at the stimulation, a soreness tugged at your nose when you uncontrollably gagged around his thickness. His pubic hair brushed against the tip of your nose and Logan finally let out the first, proper moan he had given you when he felt the muscle of your throat flexing around him. 

Despite the mild discomfort, his look of bliss was enough for you to push it aside in a desperate attempt to please him just so he could give you more. 

“That’s it, that’s it, take it all— fuck, you feel so good—“

A mixture of tears and drool streamed down your face as he thrust fast and shallow, keeping as much of his cock in your mouth as he could at all times. Your body burnt hot when he gripped your hair a bit too tightly, the slight pain at the base of your scalp making you arch your back uncontrollably. Your hands gripped at the back of his muscular thighs as he used you like a cock sleeve, profanities falling off his lips in rambles while he used your mouth to chase his high. 

Your nails dug into his skin when he hilted, the pain making his eyes close and head roll back as he emptied himself into your mouth. Thick, white spurts of cum poured down your throat, leaking out of your lips and onto your chest when you could not help but gag despite your best attempt to swallow everything. Your nose buried deep in the base of his cock as he held your head still with a vice grip, his musky, masculine scent flooding your senses while you tried to breathe through flaring nostrils.

You could not help but take in a deep breath when he pulled out, your chest heaving and face flushed as you tried to come down from your lightheadedness. But even through the haziness that glossed over your brain, you opened your mouth to show him that you had been good and the silver strings that hung to your cavity were all that was left of his release.

Logan groaned at the primal possessiveness that the action elicited in him and smashed his mouth against yours, yanking you up just enough that your weak knees gave in and you collapsed limply against his chest. The taste of himself on your lips made his cock twitch and you moaned into his rough kiss when you felt calloused hands roaming all over your body. 

Your voice was hoarse for days to come by the time he was finally done with you and you refused to acknowledge it when the others brought it up, not missing the slight smirk that tugged at your lover's lips as he looked in the other direction.

[collophora]

Building Bridges by @maidenvault Found this fic again In my saved ebooks so I couldn't resist. Short fic I like a lot for portraying the "boys being boys" vibe of the early batch XD (I didn't draw the funniest parts 'cause my brain focused on the end but read it.)

Small spoiler for the end under cut

[copia]

PAPA IV and the SKELETONS in Rite Here Rite Now

[cheswirls]

short asl thing based on @where-does-the-heart-lie's modern au :) i started this over a year ago but the beginning is all dialogue and felt more like a script to me i suppose??? which deflated my desire to work on it. anyway i checked it over recently and it's completely fine lmfao, self-confidence restored here we go !

-

"Yo. Aren't you usually in the middle of your shift by now?"

"I've been banned from the hospital."

"Like, for life?"

"No. For the next, uh.. Twenty-two hours."

"That's oddly specific."

"It was twenty-four, but I fell asleep after leaving the building."

"That wouldn't have to do with why they kicked you out, at all?"

"Hmmm. I'm too sleep-deprived, apparently."

"Ah. And, um, you called me because...?"

"I pressed a random number in my call log after waking up. Lucky you, I guess."

"Yeah. Right. Lucky me. And your car keys are...?"

"Confiscated."

"Ah, right, of course."

A beat of silence. Two. Three, then "Look, if you're busy, then–"

"No, no.  You called me, so I'll be there. Give me twenty minutes."

"Alright. Thank–"

"Thank someone else. Also, if you fall asleep in my car, I'm taking it as express permission to drive you around wherever I want."

"Ugh, go die. I don't even know why I bothered."

"LUCKY YOU, I guess," sounds off way too loudly in his ear. "No take backs. See you in ten."

"I thought you said–" Sabo breaks off as the call ends, leaving him staring blankly at his phone's too-dim screen. He squints, turns the brightness all the way up, and still squints as the sunlight proves too strong for the display.

Ace shows up in more than ten but decidedly less than twenty minutes. Sabo doesn't waste much brain power on it, only climbing into the passenger seat and yawning into his palm while his other hand fixes the seatbelt into the buckle. Not a second too soon, too, as Ace roars the engine to life and peels away from the curb at record speed.

Ace fiddles with the radio. He turns the music up, then dial it back down to inaudible. They hit the expressway and he leans over the steering wheel, frowning with his eyes fixed on the road far ahead. Sabo yawns again and this appears to be the limit to his patience. 

"Hey, so, I had a thought after you hung up on me."

Sabo grimaces. "You mean you–"

"Today's Wednesday."

He doesn't elaborate. Sabo is too tired to process. "Yes," he follows, after a second. He glances at the sky out the front window. "What time is it?"

"Oh, uh." Ace fumbles with hand placement so he can lift his watch to his face. "Nine forty."

Sabo takes a couple beats to try and process this, moves his eyes away from the skyline, and sighs as he pulls his phone out. 2:47 is what the display reads, which sounds much more believable.

"How did the minute hand get off?" he mutters to himself, chancing a look at Ace's busted wristwatch. Ace raises a brow, taking his gaze off the road to scrutinize Sabo. "No, it doesn't matter," he mutters to himself once more, sliding his phone away back on his person and out of his hands.

"My point is," Ace continues, like he hasn't just been interrupted by a whole thing. "Your timeout will be done midday Thursday. Did they switch your days off?"

"No." Sabo sighs. "They technically gave me the next thirty-six hours. Technically closer to forty. Something like that. I go back in on Friday. Sometime.” He tries to smile and it turns out very lopsided, from that he can make out in the rearview mirror. “Can you tell I’m tired?”

“I don’t think ‘tired’ is an accurate description,” Ace quips. “When did you eat a proper meal last?”

“Uh, yesterday. Maybe.”

“Maybe??”

“A ‘proper meal’ means different things to the two of us,” Sabo huffs. “On my account it was yesterday. I’ve had food since then, of course.”

“Alright, so here’s the plan,” Ace announces before absolutely whipping it around a curve. Sabo is his passenger in the passenger seat and had fully prepared to be so when he got in the vehicle, but he’d been vastly underprepared for this sudden course of action, which is how he ends up halfway out of his seat with his cheek slammed into the cold window. Ace doesn’t quite notice his brother’s terminal velocity until the car is once again on the straight and narrow, and only then it’s because of the audible thunk Sabo’s face makes when it collides with the glass.

“Aw shit. You good bro?”

“Ow,” Sabo mutters. “If I have broken bones I’m suing your ass.”

“Well, if you’re good enough to make jokes, I think you’re better than you’re letting on.” Ace keeps the wheel steady with one knee while he takes both hands away to crack his fingers. When he glances over at Sabo again, he looks even more pathetic – like he’s becoming one with the glass. “Anyway, as I was saying.

“I’m taking your ass home. You’re going straight to sleep and while you crash, I’ll make you something decent to eat and stick it in the fridge for you to heat up later. I’ll even make you two servings to eat two different times, since you clearly can’t be trusted to take care of yourself correctly.”

“Ouch.”

“I want you to conk out for as long as your body allows. We can reset your sleep schedule tomorrow, alright? Put your phone on silent; do not answer any calls. In fact, you know what, just give it to me.

Sabo glances over to see Ace’s hand held out to him, palm up. Fingers wiggling expectantly. His lips pull up into a grimace. “I’m not doing that.”

“Fine.” Ace takes his hand back. “But you will comply with everything else.”

“Wow! It’s so funny, I didn’t realize you turned into my mother overnight! Really tapped into your mom potential, huh? Anything exciting happen in your life that would cause that? I guess I wouldn’t know, since I’ve been a zombie for the past two days.”

“There’s nothing wrong with acting like your older brother, you dipshit, especially if you keep putting yourself through the wringer like this. You go home. You sleep. You wake up and eat. You go back to sleep. Then we do laundry. Does that sound agreeable?”

“That’s negotiable, at the least,” Sabo mumbles. “I will accept good food as a form of bribery.”

“Oh, nice, because I’m flat broke at the moment.”

Sabo makes a mental note of that, and then they’re pulling into the driveway. Ace lets him exit the vehicle by himself and then promptly manhandles him all the way onto the couch where it will be easier to force his body to relax than in a real bed. Ace knows this, so he calls him weird before chucking a loose blanket at his head. Sabo is almost too tired to function at this point, so he lets Ace have the last laugh in favor of finally closing his eyes.

Coming to is a surreal experience, especially since the sun is still out. He must make a noise because Ace is suddenly within view. His limbs are tangled in the blanket and still so heavy that he doesn’t bother moving. “Thought you would be gone,” he half-groans, eyes slipping shut again for a moment.

“I did leave,” Ace confirms. “I had to go pilfer some stuff to make stew with. It’s almost done, so I’ll hang here until then.”

Pilfer. That could mean any number of things. Sabo chooses to believe in the option where Ace is an upstanding citizen, and then remembers Ace saying earlier that he had no money. He frowns and squirms on the cushions enough to where it looks like he’s checking his pockets. “Where’s my wallet, Ace?” he bluffs.

“Somewhere around here,” Ace pipes up. “Your stomach will thank you for your contributions to the Portgas Household’s pantry!”

“Ugh, I got robbed,” he complains. “This sucks. ‘m going back to sleep.” He rolls over so his back is to Ace.

“Yeah, you do you, bro. Stew will still be here later. I’ll see you when you’re back in the world of the living.”

—

Luffy comes in late that night and slams the front door shut as loud as humanly possible. When he appears in the main room, he doesn’t seem to be upset, so Ace writes it off as a Luffyism. Sabo hasn’t stirred at the noise, so it’s all good.

Realizing this, Luffy pads closer to Ace’s side and looks at Sabo’s unmoving body warily. “Why is Sabo passed out like a corpse? Is he sick?”

“No, he’s not sick, he just can’t take care of himself. Which is why we are going to let him sleep for as long as possible.”

Luffy just nods to this, but it’s the uncomprehending Luffy-nod that means he’s just going to end up doing whatever he wants to regardless. Ace sighs, then jerks his head towards the kitchen. “He ate a little earlier, but I want him to eat again when he wakes up. There’s stew in the fridge if you want it – just leave him a little. Got it, Monkey D. Luffy?”

Luffy throws him a salute and then runs off in his socks. “Yippee! Ace made stew!”

“Think of your brother, Luffy, and make good choices!” Ace calls after him. “He’s a pathetic man who needs food to feel better or he’ll end up sleeping through Laundry Day!”

—

Sabo does not sleep through laundry day, but he does sleep for sixteen whole hours, so it’s just around noon when he forces himself up off the couch and into a warm shower.

Ace is around, which is mildly unexpected. But he’s still half-asleep, so everything is at least a little unexpected. He glances up from playing video games with Luffy to see Sabo leaving the steam-filled bathroom with his hair hanging around his shoulders. “You look like a wet cat,” he calls.

“Sabo’s awake!” Luffy cheers. “Ace thought you died at one point.”

Ace elbows Luffy in the gut, making him hunch over. “I did not!”

“He totally checked to see if your heart was still beating!”

“I’m undead, actually,” Sabo says completely seriously.

“Does that mean you don’t need to eat anymore?” Luffy questions. “Because I ate all the stew last night.”

“I saw that coming and made extra.” Ace finger-guns in Sabo’s general direction. “That’s why I bought two sets of ingredients. With your money!”

“With my money,” Sabo echoes, because it’s such a wild statement to have to deal with this early in the day. Well, early for him. “Fuck you.”

“I mean, I can tell Luffy where I hid–”

“Thank you, Ace, for agreeing to share your quarters with both of your brothers so we can all do laundry today on your dime!” Sabo raises his pitch so his voice is mockingly squeaky when he says this. He starts moving down the hall before Ace can start to argue, letting his and Luffy’s voices bleed into the background.

When he comes back out, now dressed, it smells significantly better than before. “I reheated the stew,” Ace announces, gesturing for Sabo to take a seat at the kitchen counter. “Let’s all have lunch before we head out.”

“You have to drink this too,” Luffy tells Sabo, sliding a Gatorade across the counter so it sets in front of him when he finally does take a seat. “Ace’s orders.”

“Gotta get those nutrients back somehow.”

“Aren’t we so considerate, Sabo?”

“Do you even know what ‘considerate’ means?” Sabo asks, lips quirking up into a half-smile. At Luffy’s shrug, it turns into a real smile. “Well, thanks anyway. Both of you.”

“No sweat. And look!” Ace brandishes a five dollar bill for both to see. “I found this baby for us to use on coins! It’s all on me today–”

“Where’s my wallet, Ace?!”

[aroace-ventplace]

…can’t believe i need to say this in 2024, but if you see a tumblr blog that’s an obvious sockpuppet, just block them. don’t give them any attention.

for those who weren’t aware, a sockpuppet is an account that someone uses to pretend to be someone they aren't, usually for the sake of accomplishing a particular goal. "asexual" sockpuppets were used extensively in tumblr's ace discourse years (which reached their peak in 2016-2019). aphobes and exclusionists made blogs where they roleplayed as exaggerated aspec caricatures, trying to paint asexuals as childish, ignorant, bigoted, etc - in a word, "cringey." crazey-acey-in-spacey was an especially notorious example of a sockpuppet that a lot of people took at face value, since their deliberately outrageous behavior (falsely) confirmed a lot of the biases tumblr users already had about aspecs. it's NEVER worth engaging with any of these accounts - don't feed the trolls, as they used to say.

ways to spot an "asexual" sockpuppet:

makes a lot of statements that are intentionally tone-deaf and offensive. especially look out for sudden mentions of race/analogies to racism ("ace genocide," "ace reparations") - a common tactic in the acecourse days was to paint asexuality as a "white" orientation, and to suggest asexuals were racist.

references other infamous sockpuppets like crazy-acey and the "warm milk aceggot" post.

makes claims about famous people being aspec, especially people who are known for bigoted beliefs. it was very common for aphobes to make asexual moodboards of people like thatcher or trump; they did this to paint aspecs as out of touch with reality and the wider queer community, and to strengthen the association between asexuality and bigotry.

use of the words "acey" or "asexy." some people do use these words in a positive sense now, but anti-aspec shit-stirrers used them a lot back in the day to imply asexuals were stupid and childish. (and if we're being honest? autistic, too. the aphobic parts of tumblr had a VERY strong undercurrent of ableism.)

this one's a bit less common, but watch out for references to christianity. one widespread aphobic talking point is calling asexuals "puritans" and suggesting that they're aligned more with conservative christianity than the rest of the queer community. aspec christians certainly exist, but given the history of this site, it's just better to double-check aspec accounts that bring up christianity out of the blue when they're engaging with other blogs.

it can be hard to tell the difference between a sockpuppet and a genuine aspec account if you don't have the exact same amount of 2016 tumblr brainrot as me, so feel free to message me and ask about anything you're not sure about - my dms are always open 👍

[ariescults]

JUN in SPELL (OFFICIAL MV)

[dykephan]

you all are a different breed... are you not scared. why on earth would you want them to talk about the uma thurman tweet. is that not sacred to you. do you not realize they're going to bullshit their way out of every single one of these no matter the validity of the theory

[calamity-unlocked]

[slasheru]

HEY I'M USING TUMBLR BLAZE FOR ITS INTENDED PURPOSE AND TELLING YOU ABOUT MY HORNY HORROR-COMEDY DATING SIM THAT I MADE.

(also on itchio ooh ahhh with a free demo, just scroll all the way down OOH AHH https://suiteddevil.itch.io/slasheru-act1alpha)

[shirecorn]

Tumblr keeps popping up to sell me ad free dashboard. But what it doesn't understand is that me and the ads have a sort of symbiosis at this point.

The guys from the fake gameplay trailers for a predatory mobile app are my blorbos

[fryday]

"we've never fucked on youtube" well not until you uploaded a video where phil wrapped your tail in gold leaf and said the tip was still showing so you suggested he just squeeze it and then screamed as he bit the gold leaf off the tip with his teeth