#and not necessarily associate it with the medication working

[littlespoonevan]

always so wild to me when u can actually feel medication working like I have a really bad headcold rn and when I dragged myself up off the couch earlier to brush my teeth I Truly felt like I was going to collapse I was so weak but then I took my little cold and flu tablet and now, legit less than half an hour later, I feel almost human again???? Remarkable

[the-delta-quadrant]

most trans people who people like to call "non transitioning" actually do transition, but people don't want to acknowledge that not all transition is medical

changing your hair is transition

deciding to shave or grow your body hair is transition

doing something different with make up is transition

changing your new wardrobe is transition

changing your name is transition

changing your pronouns is transition

coming out to people is transition

even just accepting your own transness without telling anyone else is transition, as it changes how you see yourself

it's almost impossible to be trans and truly non transitioning, even if that transition might be non medical, non visible or entirely self contained

all kinds of transition are valid.

there are also things that aren't necessarily associated with transition that an individual may consider to be part of their transition, like working out to make their body look different, getting piercings and tattoos and so much more

there are so many ways of transitioning besides surgery and hormones

"non transitioning nonbinary/trans person" is just code for "i don't consider your transition to be real because it doesn't fully fit into what cis people expect"

"some parents would rather have a non transitioning trans child than one who does" like yeah no shit. a non transitioning trans child is a trans child who doesn't come out, doesn't change anything about themself. not their name, not their pronouns, not their hair or wardrobe. a non transitioning trans child is a trans child who never talks about being trans so their parents can pass them off as cis. a non transitioning trans child is a trans child that is in the closet. of course a lot of parents would rather have a trans child who stays in the closet so they don't have to deal with their transness. but you all mean "non transitioning" as in "not medically transitioning" and that's not true either. trans people get kicked out of their house for doing as little as changing their pronouns. and if you say you're doing literally anything as part of your transition/because you're trans, people will absolutely give you shit for it, while a cis person can do the same thing and it's no biggie. social transition is not accepted at all.

there are some weird trans people out there who will completely dismiss people's life saving transition steps as "non transitioning" because they don't fit cis ideas of transness, it's disgusting

when i say "transition" i'm always including medical transition and social transition, as well as anything else an individual may consider part of their transition that doesn't necessarily fit into the two boxes

also can we stop acting like social transition isn't also constantly under attack

[lakesbian]

i was pondering some Thoughts about how people sometimes refer to worm as a "found family" story (& how this is sometimes mocked), how in-text alec explicitly says that the undersiders are the closest thing rachel has to family, how taylor tells them "you're my family, in a way," how the found family trope works in general, etc.

access to financial support, housing, medical care, And So On, is primarily attached to the institution of the family. the material necessities provided by membership to a nuclear family are why it's so common for people to reconcile with or keep in touch with family members they wouldn't if there was no material value attached to that relationship. the cultural prioritization of the nuclear family is how we get people offering "well, they're family" as an explanation for remaining associated with someone they wouldn't otherwise care about (or would even actively be trying to escape from, but this post is more about just Social Incompatibility in families than the outright abuse that the structure enables), with the expectation that the explanation is considered to make inherent sense.

aside from the found family trope demonstrating a lack of imagination about non-familial ways important relationships can take shape/demonstrating an inability to see relationships as truly important or deep unless they mimic the nuclear family, i think a lot of what appeals about the found family trope is a character dynamic that provides the same support, security, and undying love/depth of connection that the idealized nuclear family is purported to--and that does so as an escape from and superior replacement to the original blood family.

and what's interesting about the undersiders is that they're extremely not that. they're terrible at communicating. many of them don't get on with each other very well. they're oftentimes even actively shitty to each other: everyone but taylor towards rachel, brian towards alec (and aisha, but she's actually related to him), taylor towards alec and aisha. but there's still repeated in-text acknowledgement of a supposed familial dynamic between them! i think they're a "found family" in the sense that their group imitates the general role of the nuclear family--a small unit of people who (are supposed to) function as each other's fundamental supports in a world that, at large, does not care about any individual member, and who (are supposed to) do so regardless of any internal conflicts or lack of compatibility.

like, this is not a particularly articulate analysis of the nuclear family Whatsoever, but i don't think it's inaccurate to say that the compelling thing about the undersiders is that they are a "found family," but specifically in the sense that a lot of their dysfunctions are reminiscent of those found in typical, real-life familial bonds--people who wouldn't necessarily be getting along otherwise, or are even actively sorta bad for each other, forming very deep & intimate connections simply because they're materially forced to spend a lot of time together and have each others backs when there's no guarantee anyone else will.

for example: alec and aisha call taylor + brian 'team mom and dad' in a mocking manner not to indicate that they're kind/caring, but to indicate that they're being condescending micro-managing assholes...who aisha and alec are going to unquestionably listen to anyway, because they're a team, right? and you have to listen to your team leaders. i am onto an Observation here i think. deeply compelled by the idea of a ""found family"" where all of the similarities to an actual nuclear family are, despite being what drives the intimacy, also blatantly fucking dysfunctional

[veras1ne]

✮;༉“Slut Me Out.”

Hi doves! I hope you like my new theme <3 I’ve really been feeling the color purple lately but specifically a dullish purple! Swans are my everything though so they’re still here as always. Anyways, I have another Saw fic for you guys, the next fic I post will be Anakin Skywalker!

✰Pairing´ˎ˗📀: Amanda Young x Kramer!Male!Reader

✰ ‧₊˚ Summary 🦢: Amanda was having a very slow day, until you popped inside the workshop. It’s so distracting having such a beautiful enigma in front of you, but maybe a distraction is just what she needed to make her day go faster, her associates son.

✰ ;➛ WARNINGS🫧: THIS IS AN 18+ SMUT FANFIC WORK. I am NOT responsible for the media you read and consume! Your warnings are the following: Smut, Cunnilingus, Age Gap, PIV, Mild Degrading, Fucking On A Table,

Amanda was having a very slow day. John hadn’t given her any tasks, and yet she’d still been put on standby. With no current traps to build and not having to take care of John, she sat sketching out new ideas for future contraptions.

Every once in a while, she would tinker with some scrap pieces of junk that Hoffman had left out. It wasn’t unusual for her to experience one of these days, but what she wasn’t expecting was to see her associate's son, you, enter the workshop.

You weren’t too much younger than Amanda; you were in your twenties, and yet she still saw you as pure, untainted, and unknowing of the vile world. You were exceptionally talented in her eyes, possessing a natural talent for machinery and craftsmanship. The two of you had minimal interactions but were still friendly at that. In fact, you were the closest thing she had to a friend other than your father, John.

Your face held an open innocence and sincerity. You always treated her kindly, despite her less than flattering history with your father's work. If anything, Amanda liked your company, even if you were only around her to get your father a drink of water or his medication when he forgot to take it during the long mornings.

The more time you spent with each other, though, the more you seemed to gravitate towards her, asking John more questions about her and making up useless excuses to see her. You didn’t necessarily agree with your father's method of rehabilitation; in fact, you thought it was wildly distasteful and that his "apprentices" should never have had to become a part of his games, but nothing mattered when it came to Amanda.

It wasn’t like you’d never spoken to Mandy before, but something in your brain made it near impossible for you to even get full conversations out. You were so awkward and timid in every other way; your body language gave off the impression you wanted nothing to do with her, and your tendency to rant and babble made it even harder.Although if it were anyone else, she would have gotten frustrated, she kept a special place in her mind for you, reminding herself that she’s still human. Despite how hard it seemed to be, Amanda couldn’t bring herself to hate you for all the wrong reasons.

You were just too sweet for her to dislike you, and besides, you were a friend of hers and somebody she cherished.Your footsteps echoed as you walked into the cold, concrete room. The air around you was cold, but your body was warm, and your face was slightly flushed from the heat of the sun. You shivered as you crossed the floor. You had your hands shoved into the pockets of your jacket, looking at the ground in front of you as you passed through the room.

When you noticed Amanda sitting at a table with blueprints and metal, you stopped abruptly and gave a sheepish smile. “Hi Mandy.” Her head followed the sound first, her eyes still attentive to the sketches in front of her. She finally raised her head from the paper when you spoke again. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything." You rubbed the back of your neck as you apologized, looking away.

She sighed deeply before giving you a quick smile. “No, not at all. Take a seat if you’d like.” Her hair was up, her mid-length locks of brown hair being exchanged for a short, updo ponytail that was held up by a small clip. It hung loosely in front of her face, framing it perfectly. You sat down next to her, placing yourself directly across from her, your hands clasped together nervously in your lap, your eyes darting from side to side, trying to find something to focus on.

She placed her sketchbook and pencil on her lap. “What can I do for you, stranger?” Her lips curled in an awkward smile that quickly faded, huffing at her own humor. "I'm just trying to find something to do, really. I thought I’d come see my favorite girl.” You smiled, your gaze lingering on her face for a bit longer than necessary before you looked away. “That is so kind of you." She laughed lightly before continuing. “But really, I’m not doing much; John has Hoffman out finding some guy who stole medication from Homeward." Amanda picked up the piece of metal she had been working on and examined it closely before setting it back down on the table.

Your eyes lingered on her smile, a pink flush to your cheeks. “You know, it’s rude to stare at people.” Her voice was laced with lightheartedness, her tone teasing. A lump caught in your throat as you glanced back at her. “It’s just so hard not to stare when you’re so pretty, Amanda.” You leaned forward on your elbows, resting your chin in the palm of your hand.

Her cheeks turned a dark red, and her heart fluttered. Her mouth opened and closed silently. She shook her head softly and said, ‘no’, over and over until she broke the silence between the two of you. “I bet you think that I don’t see the way you stare at me or the way your eyes follow my movements; I see everything." She paused, her gaze locked on yours. “I know that you think of me at night, whenever you get lonely and need company.” She took a breath. “I can fix that." She leaned forward, her arms snaking up your shoulders and stripping you of your warm jacket. You didn’t protest, not even as her cold fingers slid over your skin. She pressed closer, letting her lips graze the shell of your ear. “Let me save you." She whispered against the skin of your ear before placing soft kisses along your jawline, trailing further down until she reached your neck. Your eyes drifted shut in pleasure as she pulled down the collar of your shirt and exposed the skin of your throat. Her lips traced circles around the sensitive spot as she kissed her way down your neck and chest. Amanda’s breathing quickened and her grip tightened as the woman continued to suck the tender flesh and leave marks along the sides of her neck. She gently bit your shoulder before running the tip of her tongue over it, causing you to let out a groan.

Amanda sucked harder, moving lower along the edge of your collarbone and then sucking gently into the hollow there. A whimper left you as she licked a circle around your clavicle, making your chest rise and fall quickly. Your hands clenched tightly into fists as you tried to hold back your moans. “I’ve wanted to make you mine since the day I met you. So pure and kind, what would John say if he saw his precious little boy being dumbed down to  nothing?" Her words made your breath hitch and your words slur. “Please, please. Please don’t stop; please make me feel good.” You begged in a whisper, biting your lip to keep from crying out.

The woman slowly moved upward, kissing along your cheek, down your jaw, across your neck, and finally settling down at your ear. “Anything for you, baby, but what can you do for me?” She took hold of your hands, dragging them slowly up her shirt, groping her boobs, and luring out a whine from her lips. Her chest was warm, making your hands hot and your face flush. Your hands moved down to her loose pants, unbuttoning them and pushing them to the floor. She began taking the rest of her clothes off, revealing her beautiful naked body, covered in goosebumps due to the sudden change in temperature. You grabbed hold of her bare ass, squeezing it softly, pulling it toward you, and rubbing her back, your nails scraping against her smooth skin.

She turned around, swiping everything off the table onto the floor with a large clatter and hopping onto the smooth, cold metal. Her legs wrapped around your waist, holding on tight. Your hands slid up and cupped her breasts, your thumbs massaging them. As you squeezed them slightly, you gasped. Her soft moans sent chills throughout your body. One of your hands traveled down to her thighs, spreading them and exposing her wet pussy.

Your thumb ran the length of her folds, stroking gently against her clit. She arched her back slightly, lifting her hips up and grinding into your touch as she dug her nails into the skin of your arms. Her moans were loud and desperate while your tongue made contact with her folds. She writhed against you, her back arching higher and higher into your touch as her breathing became more labored. “Oh god,” she panted, her fingers gripping your hair, pulling your head upwards, forcing your tongue deeper inside her, your hands wrapped around her thighs, pulling her body closer to your mouth. Her fingernails raked your scalp as she squirmed beneath you, bucking her hips as hard as she could.

Her breath hitched and your name escaped her lips before she fell limp in your grasp, gasping harshly for air, her chest rising and falling rapidly, and her body shaking violently. You continued to play with her, stroking the tip of her clit in circular motions, working her through her orgasm. She released a low moan as she came, her entire body shuddering as it worked its way down her body. As her eyes flickered open, they gazed at you with a mixture of lust, passion, and affection. "God, you’re so beautiful,” you breathed out to her as she straddled the table, reaching over and unbuckling your belt.

Her fingers pushed your trousers down, the fabric pooling at your ankles. With gentle fingers, she pushed your boxers down to your thighs, releasing your straining cock from the near-suffocating fabric. She lowered herself slowly over your dick, and you couldn’t help but gasp, your eyes closing involuntarily. “So tight,” you murmured breathlessly, pressing back against her, wanting more. She lifted herself up slightly, allowing you enough room.

She spread her lips wide as she let out a whimper. "God, your cock is so fucking big. I never knew you were such a disgusting little slut for me." Your eyes widened slightly, a small blush creeping across your cheeks as your face grew warmer. “I should’ve known you’d love to be degraded like this. You just love it, don’t you?” she smirked slyly, her husky voice dripping with lust as you ran your hand slowly up and down her stomach, caressing her soft breasts. She wrapped her legs around your waist, forcing your dick deeper inside of her, causing the both of you to let out a deep groan in sync, almost like two puzzle pieces that fit exactly together, your bodies merging and your souls becoming one. She let her head fall back against the metal, putting her arms behind her head as your thrusts quickened. Your teeth grazed her earlobe, nipping lightly as the coils in your stomach tightened. You tugged on her nipples, feeling the heat radiate between her thighs as you began slamming into her, giving her exactly what she desired.

You were in complete control of your body, and yet it felt as if she had taken over your mind, filling your thoughts with her and only her. You gripped her tighter, pumping faster and harder each time you slammed into her, leaving purple bruises as your hips snapped into her pelvic area, and sending waves of pleasure crashing through your body. A moan slipped past your lips as Amanda’s grip on your dick tightened, her walls clenching around your cock.

You cried out her name loudly, burying your face into the crook of her neck, your lips trailing up towards her ear. “You drive me crazy, you know that?” She hummed, her voice muffled against your neck and collarbones while her hands found their way to your shoulders. "Mandy, please, I’m going to cum.” Your labored breathing made it hard to understand your words, and your stomach felt tight as your orgasm approached. “I want you to cum inside me; I want to be the one to claim you; taint your mind.” Her words pushed you to the edge, your warm cum spilling into her pussy, leaking out onto her inner thighs. Your body shook as you continued to pound into her, her own orgasm drawing close as you worked her to her second orgasm. “Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum. Such a good boy, doing all of this for me.” Her stomach snapped, her whines increasing in volume as her body shook uncontrollably, her cries mixing with your grunts.

Her nails dug into your back, her energy running out as she laid flat on the cool table, as opposed to the hot sweat on her body. Her breath was slow and steady as she came down from her high, her muscles relaxing as you finally stopped. You rested your forehead against hers, her hands resting on your shoulders, this time relaxed. “If I knew you could do that, I would’ve done this a lot sooner, kid.” She let out a huffed laugh. You smiled at her, brushing a strand of hair away from her face, placing a kiss on her forehead, and handing her your jacket to give her some form of protected modesty, even if you had just spent the last nearly thirty minutes pleasuring her. She slipped the jacket on and stood up, turning around to face you once again, leaning down, and kissing you deeply. “Let’s go get cleaned up; I don’t feel like staying sticky all day." You chuckled and nodded at her, slipping your hand into hers and lacing your fingers together as you headed to the door.

Your soft snores were all that were heard in your room as Mandy stroked her fingers through your hair. The sun filtered through the blinds and illuminated your sleeping figure. Large, heavy footsteps rang through the hallway as Amanda turned her head towards the sound of “Hi John.” She smiled and gave a little wave. “I welcome you into my home, give you refuge, and this is what I get in turn? This is a new low for you, Amanda.” John stated it blankly, looking away and walking away from the doorway. “New record, I guess.”

[rocksinmuffin]

I will officially be opening up high priority writing commissions in exchange for proof of donation to a charity that is currently helping Palestine.

Such charities include (but are not necessarily limited to):

Medical aid for Palestinians

Palestine Children’s Relief Fund

The World Food Programme

Doctors Without Borders

UNRWA

Please contact me through DMs or a private un-anonymous message if you are interested before making the donation. I would like to take as many as I can, obviously, but since people will be using their real money and this is not something I have ever done before, I want to make sure I am not taking on more than I can handle. I need to first confirm with you that I can take the request (meaning it is something I can write for and that I do not have too large a workload) before accepting. So sending me the commission request is not confirmation; you will need to wait for me to respond saying I will take it. After that, I will want you to send me proof of your donation, such as a screenshot of a confirmation email with any of your identifying information edited out. Once the proof of donation is received, I will then begin on writing your request.

-For a 5 US dollar donation you will get a minimum of at least 300 words.

-For 10 US dollars you will get a minimum of 700 words.

-If you donate 20 US dollars or more I will guarantee a minimum of 1,500 words.

Unless you say otherwise, I will post commissions to the blog but you may request it just privately be sent to you. If you want it posted but do not want your username to be associated with the request just let me know you would like to remain anonymous.

If you would like to make a donation to another group helping Palestine that is not listed above, let me know before making the donation so I can confirm it is legitimate.

Once I have taken on your request, please give me time to write them. I am an adult with a full time job so I might not be able to write much during the regular work week However, these commissions will take priority and I will write these commissions before working on any other non-commissioned request.

Thank you and bless you to everyone doing what they can to help the Palestinian people during this time.

[popfizzles]

What kind of music does Darwin, Betsy and Clef like to play? Are they like a band together?

Darwin, Betsy, and Clef aren't a band, they're street musicians :) they're buskers!!

Darwin (the potted tulip toon) carries a small amp with him across the isles to plug in his keytar wherever he can set up shop. His favorite places to perform are small restaurants (he brings in business so most places let him do so for free)! He also does crowd work well, poking fun with bystanders and jeering people who walk past him without stopping or tipping. He's very "vicious mockery" core. Busking is Darwin's preferred work, but when days are slow, he picks up odd-jobs online instead.

Clef (the orange music note) has a tiny flatbed he drags a compact drum kit on. He prefers places with echos and great acoustics, like the subway or public parks. Clef isn't necessarily in busking for the cash he gets from it, since he has a well-paying office job on the side. Instead, Clef is concerned with just Making As Much Noise As Possible. If people stop by and toss him a few coins, that's just a bonus! Busking is cathartic for him!!

And Betsy (the purple catgirl toon) has an acoustic guitar that she likes to pluck on. She's softer than the other two, quieter, very peaceful and melodic. She finds quieter places to perform where she won't be too much of a disturbance to the people walking past, and keeps her guitar case open so people can tip her freely. Betsy is busking in order to help pay for medical bills regarding her broken tail. <:)

They know each other by virtue of performing in similar places, and having a sort of friendly conversations, solidarity between street musicians. Like workplace associates but much nicer about it?

They're all a strange sort of close where they don't know each other's last names, but they know each other's favorite things to get out of the vending machines. :)

[respectthepetty]

Color analysis is your big thing around here. Have you always been into colors in shows and movies, or was this new for BL? What are some of your favorite examples of color use from some of your formative works?

@bengiyo, I would like to believe hysteria is my "big thing" but I can see how the colors label would come up every now and then regarding me. I've been seeing you and the smart people squad asking origin questions, so I appreciate the inquiry! However, you already know this is gonna be long, so . . .

Have you always been into colors in shows and movies, or was this new for BL?

When you read the following statements, you can't read them like a tragedy. You have to read them with an air of whimsy because this shit is funny.

My mom thought I was crazy when I was little. Like, thought I needed medication because I kept rambling about seeing patterns in colors. But this wasn't like Care Bears or Strawberry Shortcake kind of colors where each color aligns with a character and emotion. No, this was like I wouldn't eat foods of a certain color or foods served on plates of a certain color because there were good colors (blue, yellow, white), and bad colors (red, green, black), and I got this idea from movies and church. For example, the devil is bad. The devil is red. Therefore, red is bad. Death is bad. Death is black. Therefore, black is bad. Angels are good. They are white. Therefore, white is good.

As a less creepy religious example - If Heather Duke was green because she was envious of the devil aka red Heather Chandler

When Heather Chandler died and Heather Duke took her place as the new queen bee, Heather Duke would naturally start wearing red because she was the new devil, right? Made sense to me!

But my poor mother was stressed. She brought in all of the professionals, and although none of them truly understood what I was saying, they assured my mom I'd grow out of it.

LIES!

I kept seeing patterns, so I was tested when I started school and was promptly placed into the gifted program, where I was shown that green and red weren't necessarily bad. Like when Amélie wore green because her father forced her to live a calm and peaceful life since she was such a rambunctious child.

Only to start wearing more red as she rediscovered her passion for life.

So I remember that pattern of safety and peace versus passion and courage as I'm watching I Feel You Linger in the Air.

What are some of your favorite examples of color use from some of your formative works?

Since I've always noticed colors, nothing really stands out to me as my favorite since it all seems normal to me, so I'm going to flip your question - What was my least favorite example of color use:

The gay(er) one is red.

Remember that I associated red with negativity as a child, so it would really bother me to see the character who knew he was gay and couldn't hide it be colored as red as if he was the mischievous one.

As if the red character was a temptress leading the loyal blue character to hell.

However, using the (coping) mechanisms I learned in school and life, I now see why the characters who can't hide their queerness would have to be more bold, not just in personality, but in color as well.

Their queerness doesn't allow them to hide, and their color depicts this.

How you write about liking characters who "know," I like that the colors reinforce the "knowing."

So "the gay(er) one is red" doesn't bother me at all anymore. I now openly advocate on behalf of these Red Rascals and named them such because much like me telling countless counselors and doctors that the way I see the world comes naturally to me, I understand their refusal to fit into the norm to make others comfortable.

It isn't bad to stand out, mostly because we cannot hide who we are. How we are feels normal.

And the colors helped me see that.

[gallusrostromegalus]

I only just started following but I have a couple questions. Are werewolves a thing and what bit of lore are you really proud of/had a sudden idea that just spiraled out?

So the clinical term for any human that transforms into an animal/more animalistic form during a specific celestial phenomenon is "Cyclical Zoothropy", of which wolf-transforming humans that have thier transfrmation cycles triggered by the "full moon"* are only a small slice.

All cases of CZ have been traced back to a single curse accidentally placed by Ancient Mesopotamian wizards approximately 20,000 to 40,000 years ago. The going theory is that they were attempting to create solar-powered super-soldiers and really, really REALLY messed it up.

Cyclical Zoothropy is a blood-bourne curse, and is transmitted in similar fashion as many fluid transfer diseases- through bites, sexual contact, or ineffective filtering by the placenta from mother to child. Certain strains of CZ have drugs that reduce the symptoms and contagiousness, but it's generally advised to avoid bites or direct sexual contact with anyone if you think you might have CZ.

"...wouldn't you know if you had it because you turn into a horse every time Orion is visible in the sky?" Not necessarily! Some cases of Cyclical Zoothropy can lie dormant for years or generations because the celestial phenomenon they're associated with is so rare. When Hale-Bopp came around in '97, more than a few people were in for QUITE the surprise! Other transformations are triggered by more erratic phenomena, like the presence of solar flares, or when meteor showers reach a certain intensity.

Turning into an animal or developing a more animal-like body isn't a good indicator either, because there are quite a few things that can cause someone to suddenly and spontaneously transform, like misdirected curses, living near a magically powerful artifact, gaining the 'favor' of a powerful entity, or eating random mushrooms you found in the woods. If you do suddenly experience transformative symptoms, please isolate yourself and contact a medical professional for tesing immediately. CZ and other transformative curses are extremely variable in nature and can effect people in unexpected ways. Also, humans have an extremely high tolerance for toxins that most animals do not, so stay away from the chocolate, avocado, oions, xylitol and grapes.

That said, CZ is a very treatable and livable condition, and there are many people with CZ that live very celebrated lives. Many lycanthropes find fulfilling work as search-and-rescue professionals, disease diagnosticians or taste-testers. The famous "Lassie" was portrayed by beloved actor "Pal" Weatherwax for almost two decades to great critical acclaim.

That said, due to the widespread nature of CZ, (while CZ is not common, it is found worldwide across regionality, ethnicity, sex, gender and class. If you know more than 100 people, odd are you know SOMEONE with CZ) certain public accommodations have been made- medical time off for transformations is legally protected in most countries, and discrimination against people with CZ is increasingly discouraged and banned under the law. Wearing excessive amounts of perfume or cologne is considered extremely rude and is grounds for barring someone from entering an enclosed space like a plane or public transit. Food labeling laws to prevent accidental poisonings came about much earlier in most of the world and even trace amounts of commonly-toxic-to-animal ingredients must be reported.

[butch-reidentified]

do you actually have a genetic disorder??

how does it work whats it called

I have vascular-type Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (vEDS - though many patients prefer to use VEDS for reasons discussed in the link at the end of this post). it's a connective tissue disorder with several subtypes, but vascular-type is the only type that's deadly. current typical life expectancy is like 48ish, but even then, that's if you take a certain class of medication that I can't take (makes my blood pressure so constantly and severely low that I become bedbound) - when I was first diagnosed with unspecified EDS, the lifespan estimates for VEDS were closer to 40 years. that doesn't necessarily mean I can't possibly live a good bit longer - there have been patients who've lived about as long as a typical healthy person, but there's no way to predict it or mitigate it. lifestyle, in this case, makes basically zero difference. I could be the fittest and healthiest lifestyle person on earth or be a couch potato who eats nothing but fast food and it wouldn't really mean much in terms of this either way.

I've posted before about my EDS (never in detail idt) & it's mentioned in the About Me section of my Pinned, but had avoided getting the test for VEDS until fairly recently - not fully intentionally, just got caught up in life and kind of already suspected based on certain traits and symptoms I have that are associated with the vascular type (including a history of SCAD*). it's actually good I waited bc they found a new variety of the gene mutation since my initial diagnosis that may be present in a whole 50% of VEDS patients!

*SCAD = Sudden Coronary Artery Dissection, often considered a type of heart attack, where your artery just zshlurps n pops a hole in it. I recently had read a few studies showing that female people, especially if otherwise broadly healthy, are more able than males to heal from SCAD without or with very conservative medical intervention (I don't even go to hospital atp for pretty much anything my body does, but I did briefly die once and have posted my NDE experience here before), however I'm struggling to find these studies all of a sudden. that said, the below AHA article mentions that "among patients with acute myocardial infarction, patients with SCAD have a lower risk of mortality, which is attributed primarily to their younger age, female sex, and low prevalence of atherosclerotic risk factors."

[ranahan]

Mando’a masterpost

Most of my Mando’a linguistic nerdery you should be able to find under the hashtags #mando’a linguistics and #ranah talks mando’a. Specific topics like phonology and etymology are tagged on newer posts but not necessarily on older. I also reblog lots of other people’s fantastic #mando’a stuff, which many of these posts are replies to.

I also post about #mandalorian culture, other #meta: mandalorians and #star wars meta topics, #star wars languages, #conlangs, and #linguistics. I like to reblog well-reasoned and/or interesting takes on Star Wars and Mandalorian politics, but I am not pro or contra fictional characters or organisations, only pro good storytelling. You can use the featured tags to navigate most of these topics. Not Star Wars content tag is #not star wars.

Currently working on an analysis of canon Mando’a. Updates under #mando’a project. Here are my thoughts on using my stuff (tldr: please do). My askbox is open & I’d love to hear which words, roots or other features you want to see dissected next.

#Phonology

Ven’, ’ne and ’shya—phonology of Mando’a affixes

Murmured sounds in Mando’a

Mando’a vowels

#Morphology

Mando’a demonyms: -ad or -ii?

Agent nouns in Mando’a

Reduplication in Mando’a

Verbal conjugation in Ancient Mando’a & derivations in Modern Mando’a

-nn

Adjectival suffixes (this one is skierunner’s theory, but dang it’s good and it’s on my post, so I’m including it)

#Syntax

Middle Mando’a creole hypothesis— Relative tenses — Tense, aspect and mood & creole languages — Copula and zero copula in creole languages — More thoughts about Mando’a TAM particles

Mando’a has no passive

Adjectives as passive voice & other strategies

Colloquial Mando’a

Alienable/inalienable possession — more thoughts

Translating wh-words into Mando’a

#Roots, words & etymology

ad ‘child’—but also many other things

adenn, ‘wrath’

akaan & naak: war & peace

an ‘all’ + a collective suffix & plural collectives

ba’ & bah

*bir-, birikad, birgaan & again

cetar ‘kneel’

cinyc & shiny

gai’ka, ka’gaht, la’mun

jagyc, ori’jagyc & misandry

janad

*ka-, kakovidir & cardinal directions

ke’gyce ‘order, command’

*maan-, manda, gai bal manda, kir’manir, ramaan & kar’am & runi: ‘soul’ & ‘spirit’

*nor- & *she- ‘back’ (+ bonus *resh-)

projor ‘next’

*sak-, sakagal ‘cross’

*sen- ‘fly’

tapul

urmankalar ‘believe’

*ver- ‘earn’

*ya-, yai, yaim (& flyby mentions of eyayah, eyaytir, gayiyla, gayiylir, aliit)

Regional English in Mando’a

#Non-canon words

Mining vocabulary

Non-canon reduplications

Many words for many Mandalorians

What’s the word for “greater mandalorian space”?

Dral’Han & derived words

besal ‘silver, steel grey’

derivhaan

hukad & hukal, ’sheath, scabbard’

*maan-, manda, kar’am & runi: ‘soul’ & ‘spirit’ & derivations

*sen- ‘fly’ derivations

tarisen ‘swoop bike’

*ver- ‘earn’ derivations

#mando’a proverbs

#mando’a idioms

Pragmatics & ethnolinguistics

Middle Mando’a creole hypothesis

History of Mando’a

Mando’a timeline

A short history of the Mandalorian Empire

Mandalorian languages

#mandalorian sign language

Concordian dialogue retcon

Kinship terms

Politeness in Mando’a: gedet’ye & ba’gedet’ye — vor entye, vor’e, n’entye — vor’e etc. again — n’eparavu takisit, ni ceta

Mandalorians and medicine, baar’ur, triage

#Mandalorian colour theory (#mandalorians and color): cin & purity, colour associations & orange, cin, ge’tal, saviin & besal, gemstone symbolism

#Mandalorian nature, Flora and fauna of Manda’yaim

starry road

Names of Mandalorian planets

Mandalorian clans & government headcanons

Other

What I would have done differently if I had constructed Mando’a

Mando’a handwriting guide: part 1, part 2, part 3

Free tactical medicine learning resources for medics & those who write them

FAQ

Can I use your words/headcanons in my own projects? (short answer: yes please)

Do you do translations?: If I happen to be in the mood or your translation question is interesting. If you run into a snag, feel free to bother me.

What’s your stance on Satine Kryze and the New Mandalorians? (tldr: they’re fictional and I don’t have one beyond their narrative being interesting & wishing that fandom would have civil conversations about them without calling each other names.)

LGBTQIA?: I’m about a flag short of an entire pride parade. Oh, you meant is this blog safe for you? Yes—I don’t stand for any shade of discrimination. If I say something insensitive, rest assured it’s because I temporarily misplaced my other brain cell, not because of malice.

NSFW?: No. This is a linguistics blog, so cursing and some frank vocabulary should be expected, but no porn here. I don’t believe in nudity or sex in themselves being taboo topics, but I’ll try to keep things family-friendly. I was a medic for a good chunk of my life, so frank discussions about medical/anatomical/trauma topics might also happen (and I have exactly 0 shame about these topics; hazard of the job).

Asks under #ranah answers

P.s. Let me know if the links don’t work or something else is wrong (some items don’t have links, they are articles in my draft folder/queue which I’ve listed here so they don’t get lost—sorry for the tease!). Also please tell me if you need me to tag something I haven’t so you can filter it (this blog is for readers—if I was writing just for myself, I wouldn’t bother to edit and publish—so let me know what I can do to make it work better for you). Thanks!

[maverick-werewolf]

Werewolf Fact #70 - Werewolves in medical history + "clinical lycanthropy"

The results of the werewolf fact poll over on my Patreon are in, and now we have this month's werewolf fact: all about werewolves in historical medical treatises of the Renaissance/Early Modern period and the term "clinical lycanthropy," as well as what all that means and how it still impacts werewolf studies and werewolf pop culture today.

This post will make use of a lot of primary sources, which I always find fun, so buckle up!

I've done several posts touching upon subjects similar to this before, you might be familiar with them, such as how werewolves in folklore are the result of a curse instead of a disease, and my two-parter on when werewolves became associated with insanity (Part 1 and Part 2 are here). You can also read a whole lot more about that topic and my arguments regarding it in my thesis, which was on werewolves, and can be found here on Amazon.com (hardback coming soon!).

However, I have never really delved in detail into a few of the actual medical treatises written during the Renaissance/Early Modern Period - in other words, primary sources - of which we have several. In this post, I will cover a few, but not all. I'm also going to make mention of a few more modern ones in regard to clinical lycanthropy, but let's start with older first...

First of all, there was a lot of discussion of "melancholy" in the 1500s in regard to werewolves. This was even referenced in the play The Duchess of Malfi (and I actually have an academic article dedicated to the discussion of the lines involving werewolves in said play). This is, of course, related to the ancient Greek theory of humors, in which the composition of the human body and health required the balance of four humors: black bile (earth), blood (air), choler (fire), and phlegm (water), each related to one of the classic elements.

Throughout the Renaissance, "wolf-madness" was attributed to a case of melancholy, or an excess of black bile. There are many examples of this. And, of course, there are also many attributions to Satan... which was not a thing at all before this time period, as before this, werewolves were even sometimes associated with Christianity (see: werewolves of Ossory, among others).

An oft-referenced source in both werewolf studies at large as well as my own works is "Admirable and Memorable Histories" by I. Goulart, from around 1607 and translated from French by Ed Grimeston; I use this source from my book A Lycanthropy Reader by Charlotte F. Otten. Please note that the language of the piece is dated, so it will read funny to modern audiences.

Goulart discusses "Licanthropes and mad-men, the which wee will consider of two sorts," not necessarily equating those suffering from "lycanthropy" as mad-men, but as those "in whom the melancholike humor doth so rule, as they imagine themselves to be transformed into Wolves." He refers to them as "counterfet Wolves" and discusses how they "runne into Church-yardes, and about graves," something not uncommonly seen in the newfangled werewolf sources of the 1600s onward but not commonplace in werewolf legends of previous time periods.

Goulart also discusses men "tormented with an evill spirit, that at a certaine season of the yeare, hee imagined himselfe to bee a ravening Wolfe," and references other elements seen only in the later werewolf trials as opposed to previous werewolf legends. I also can't help but wonder if the "certain season" element is something Curt Siodmak saw and carried over into the original werewolf in The Wolf Man turning during a particular season (when wolfsbane blooms in autumn)...

Anyway, another of Goulart's sources is Job Fincel in 1541, who describes werewolves in ways we see around a lot when googling and finding garbage on the internet but not so much in legends previously, such as how those afflicted with the "disease" of believing themselves to become a wolf (but not actually turning into one) "are pale, their eyes are hollow, and they see ill, their tongue is drye, they are much altered, and are without much spittle in the mouth." This is consistent with particular illnesses rather than anything seen in werewolf legends, as these are not the people who truly become wolves, only those who believe that they do - and Goulart was still drawing lines between those with hallucinations, those who actually change shape, and those who are werewolves by other means. For example, Goulart also discusses the idea of people whose souls fly from their own bodies and enter into the forms of wolves instead.

There are other examples that discuss these same topics, of course, including but not at all limited to "Diseases of the Mind" by Robert Burton and "A Treatise" by Robert Bayfield, both of which are also featured in A Lycanthropy Reader, and there are plenty of others in assorted other werewolf studies publications.

Now, in addition to these older examples, we also have much more recent medical studies regarding what is known in modernity as "clinical lycanthropy."

Here's a fun fact: the term "lycanthropy" wasn't ever used in antiquity to refer to werewolf legends. It was created by the medical profession in the 1500s to refer specifically to a form of madness, not shapeshifting. It referred to what was recognized as a mental illness that they called lycanthropy: someone believing that they turned into a wolf, not to someone actually turning into a wolf (as in, not referring to the legends in which this happened).

Today, we call this "clinical lycanthropy," because the term "lycanthropy" was basically taken by werewolf media and werewolf studies and retroactively applied to werewolf legends. But the term "lycanthropy" was never actually used in said legends.

The term "lycanthropy" to refer to a "werewolf disease" is just another way in which medical studies and Renaissance writings turned werewolf legends into a "werewolf disease" instead of a magical curse, as it always used to be.

Now, of course, the medical world doesn't really recognize "clinical lycanthropy" anymore. It's considered to be a part of other mental conditions, the result of drug-induced hallucinations, or something entirely different. Several cases were attributed to schizophrenia instead, for example. So the term "clinical lycanthropy" in itself is all but outdated.

I won't be including or directly quoting from the case reports from the 1970s in this discussion, as this post is already enormous and, frankly, the case reports are not things that could be easily discussed in today's environment, as the language in the reports would certainly be considered offensive today, and that's not something I want to navigate. So I won't get into all that. They're out there if you want to read them, but I won't bother breaking them down here.

There are also certainly other examples of medical history relating to werewolves and werewolf legends, but I'll save all that for the werewolf facts book or another publication of mine!

Medical treatises are just another example from the Renaissance (and for quite a while after, into at least the 1800s and even early 1900s) of trying to rationalize and find "scientific explanations" for all manner of folklore and mythology. This also resulted in a considerable amount of condemnation for those who still believed in this sort of thing, as well as those who believed themselves to be experiencing it. As mentioned in some of my other werewolf facts, this didn't always include punishment (many victims of clinical lycanthropy at the time were actually well taken care of), but it did include things like being locked away from society for being declared insane. And, of course, if the victim in question was not a victim but a perpetrator, then it would result in a trial and punishment - and often execution. However, this was much more likely to happen to witches rather than werewolves. Just another way in which the trial of Peter Stubbe were very obviously witch/sorcerer trials and had nothing to do with werewolves at all.

Now, of course, you'll also recognize that a lot of the things you see in the treatises I used as examples don't follow up with many or even any werewolf legends you're very familiar with. Things were getting a bit weird at this point in history in regard to folklore and the like, and the reaching for rationalizing something like a person turning into a wolf or wolf-monster of any sort certainly resulted in some wild connections.

While this is far from the werewolf legends that personally fascinate me most, they are an important part of werewolf studies - hugely so. In fact, they're often discussed more than almost anything else, because unfortunately werewolf scholars are overly obsessed with later time periods that I personally find less fun and interesting than the Middle Ages and ancient times. But, hey, I love all of it.

Until next time!

And remember, if you want to vote on the next werewolf or vampire or other folklore fact, be sure to check out my Patreon. Thanks for reading!

( If you like my werewolf blog, be sure to follow me here and check out my other stuff!

Patreon — Personal Website (new and improved! Great starting point!)  — Wulfgard — Werewolf Fact Masterlist — Twitter — Vampire Fact Masterlist )

[maleyanderecafe]

Hey there! Have you played Where the Two Flowers Meet? It's made by the same creator as Sweet Valentine and it's SO much fun. I'm pretty sure one of the main charas is a yandere even though there's no yandere tag. Really recommend it if you haven't tried it yet (do heed the TWs tho)

I will be honest, although I did see this in my itchio dashboard a long time ago, I didn't end up playing it because of my giant (and still giant) backlog of yandere games. I am glad that I got this ask for it because man, syllphana did it again with their seriously amazing story telling and characters, which is expected from the creator of Sweetest Valentine. Keep in mind there are a lot of warnings including suicide amongst other things, but Where the Two Flowers Meet is a great scifi style yandere story with some bittersweet endings. This game is rather long with about 10 different endings so the summary for this will be quite long as well.

The story starts with a man waking up in a hospital, having lost his right eye, right arm and has amnesia. While in this state, he is visited by a doctor who introduces himself as Caleb. He tell the man that his name is Aran and that the two of them are lovers. Aran is of course entirely surprised by this, having not remembered the 10 years of them being together and is worried about his current state. Caleb tells him that he tried to jump out of a building, thus the injuries and amnesia and that he's here to help me recall who he is and to take care of him as his injuries grow. Caleb starts to recount the two's history slowly as the days go by.

The history of Caleb and Aran are slowly drip fed throughout the first couple of chapters of the story as Aran tries to figure out what's gong on, but for the sake of not going back and forth I'll summarize most of it together here. All of this is done through Caleb's point of view.

Caleb first meets Aran while visiting his grandparent's old cottage one day to pay respects to him only to be spooked by a intruder. Caleb ends up meeting Aran who is trying to take care of the garden there. Aran seemed to have met Caleb's grandfather a ways back and became friends, basically becoming his gardener of sort. The two of them get closer afterwards with them even adopting a cat that wandered into the garden. Unfortunately, the cat ends up eating a poisonous flower and gets rushed to the hospital. The cat ends up dying due to consuming too much. After a while and burying the cat, we get to see Aran painting some things in the main room. Aran asks Caleb what he sees with the paintings, but when asked in response, Aran simply states that he paints without purpose, something that Caleb doesn't understand. While Caleb believes you have to earn the right to be born else be useless, Aran believes that life doesn't necessarily have a purpose or meaning. The two of their philosophies seem to contradict each other, with Caleb believing they exist to make the world a better place, where Aran believes that there isn't always a purpose to everything. We also get to learn more about Caleb's family life, that his biological father was an alcoholic and didn't take care of him, but that he is currently living with his adoptive parents and a better life. As the story goes on, the two of them get closer, understanding each others habits, learning from each other and taking care of each other. While Caleb is more stern and practical, it's obvious that he has a much better lifestyle than Aran, and he is working hard to get his medical degree. Meanwhile Aran is much more self destructive in his lifestyle because although he seems to be an artist (making music, paintings, etc) he lives life very day to day, eating junk food and not taking care of himself, something that Caleb often worries about. Aran also seems to have the habit of running away, either avoiding conversations or simply not meeting Caleb for long stretches of time. At a couple points in the story, we see Frida, one of Caleb's associates meet him in front of their house, wanting him to join a project of sorts despite Caleb heavily despising Frida. At some point, to loosen up, Aran invites Caleb to a bar to hang out. There, he meets a girl named Sarah who seems worried about both Aran and his brother, as she hasn't seen his brother in a while. Eventually Caleb has to bring Aran home after getting extremely drunk and Aran even attempts to sleep with Caleb. We see that Aran believes that he's ultimately useless as compared to his brother who is in the army, believing that the only good use he has is his body, something that Caleb shuts down as he tries to take care of him. The next day after taking care of each other, the two of them have fun at an amusement park to let go of their worries. Near the end as the two watch the sunset, they talk more about their issues, with Aran worried about Caleb's outview on life, relating to him stating that he doesn't have to work so hard to prove himself, that he's not useless. Similarly, Caleb talks to Aran about his self destructive life style and the previous life, worried that he's suicidal. At the end, the two of them end up dating happily, at least for a while. Caleb ends up learning that Aran's mother is slowly dying, and that Aran will start to sell his paintings and eventually his house to help take care of her. Caleb, worried about Aran decides to give some of his savings to him so that he can take care of his mom. However, upon returning home to get the money he's saved up, he finds it gone. He calls his adoptive mother, who replies that he gave the money to his biological father weeks ago, with Caleb never being able to get the money back, and not being able to pay for Aran's costs.

Aran in the hospital is visited by Julia, his nurse who he recognizes as Caleb's sister and seems to be trying to help him out of this situation, but is unable to tell him the truth about what is going on. After Caleb reveals that his mother is dying Aran freaks out, with Caleb stating that he is simply taking care of her and that she's fine.Aran is able to leave his room one day and finds that the place is heavily monitored, and that he's essentially trapped there unless he can get a keycard. Julia does end slipping him a keycard which he can then choose to use.

If he doesn't use it, Aran lives in bliss about what is about to happen. He is eventually discharged from the hospital by Caleb and given flowers, only to then be shot and killed by Caleb soon after.

If Aran does use it, he ends up finding out he is in a very specified part of the hospital and goes to the library. There he meets Frida, a coworker that Caleb despises due to her personality. She seems entertained by the prospect that he's escaped and even decides to help him by showing him where the archives are. There Aran finds out that he's part of an experiment and finds out that he might not actually be Aran. After returning to his room, Caleb apologizes to Aran for lying about his mother as she has died, and here Aran can decide to either call him out for lying or not say anything.

Calling him out for lying leads to Caleb sedating Aran, stating that the subject became unstable and wiping his memory again, thus starting the entire cycle of the game over again.

If Aran decides not to, he will notice that Caleb is monitoring his reactions and decides to calm down so that Caleb won't notice. He tries to convince Caleb to tell him the truth, with Caleb worried as Aran had tried to kill himself three times now. Julia comes in and tries to convince Aran to leave as soon as possible as he is an innocent bystander in this. However, Aran is determined to learn more about what is going on. He ends up going back to archives to get more information only to find the other experimentation. It seems like they are in a project called Project Metamorphosis where they are able to basically replace another person's brain with someone else's memories. The current Aran is the seventh version of this, with the other versions having died or otherwise were killed. He finds a video of Caleb interviewing him in a blank room. We find out the Aran we currently know is actually Aran's twin brother, Roy, who was a military man and gained the injuries after a fight. Roy initially is against the idea of the procedure, finding it cruel and unusual, but Caleb is able to convince him, stating that because of this procedure he'd be able to not only revive their mother but also Roy's child. Roy feels as if he doesn't have much to live for after and agrees to the procedure, something that Caleb is pleased about as it's expected that it would be easier to map Aran's brain onto Roy's since the two are twins.

From this point on the main character, has to decide if he still is Aran or if he is no longer him. This splits the path into two with their own endings.

If he does decide that he's Aran, where he essentially brainwashes himself into believing that he is and the point of view switches to Caleb. We get to see the flashback of Aran's last moments through Caleb's eyes. We see that Aran was not able to save his mother, not even able to sell the house after Caleb disappears, which Caleb feels immense guilt over, even though Aran attempts to reassure him. Aran asks Caleb to essentially leave him alone for a bit, something that Caleb feels worried about, but ultimately respects. After almost two weeks without contact, Aran finally picks up Caleb's calls, leading to a sad final call with Aran as he drunkenly drowns himself in the woods due to his depression and commits suicide. Caleb rushes to try to find Aran but it's too late, and finds his dead body floating in the river. He's about to give up when he remember project Metempsychosis, the project that Frida is a part of and plots to try to save Aran in this way.

Back in the present, we see that Aran is acting calmly, at least until Caleb decides to tell him that he'll be discharged from the hospital. Caleb seems pretty pissed that Aran is essentially faking being nice to him as he's basically lied and confined him to the hospital, but Aran doesn't seem to realize this at all. Caleb confronts Frida about this, realizing that he is now actually acting like Aran to which Frida seems confused and smug about as this is something that he wanted to have. We see another flashback of Caleb taking Aran's brain from when he was dead and find that current Aran is now clutching said brain in the storage room. Caleb is able to coerce him back to his room. From there, Caleb tells Aran that he no longer wants to contact with him when he is discharged from the hosptial, leading to Aran becoming outraged and angry, attempting to break down the door as Caleb leaves. When visiting him the next day, Caleb finds that Aran has pulled out the needle to his IV drip bag, and starts talking about paintings, similarly to how Aran did in the past. Caleb calms him down, stating that the two will be together forever, something that makes Caleb happy in some way. The next day, Aran attempts to pin Caleb down and coerce him into having sex with him, however, Caleb tries to push him away. Before he leaves, Aran threatens to sleep with others if he goes.

If Caleb stays with Aran, the two of them will end up sleeping together, as Caleb believes this is retribution for what he's done to Aran. The two will end up moving together in a toxic relationship.

If instead Caleb leaves, he finds the next day that Aran has hung himself with his IV drip line. He can then decide whether to stop continuing the project or to continue.

If he decides to stop, he will end up shooting himself, resulting in him finally being together with Aran in the afterlife while his dead body lay slumped next to the body of Aran.

If he decides to continue, he ends up converting the sixth trial, 06 into Aran. He is successfully able to implant Aran's memories onto him thus continuing the project and eventually adopting Roy's Metempsychosised daughter.

If however Aran decides that he isn't really Aran anymore, he eventually goes by 07 based on his designation number. As he wanders around, he ends up being caught by Caleb and brought back to an observation room. Caleb and 07 talk about what 07 has learned- how he's not Aran, but rather Aran's memories implanted onto Roy and takes the keycard amongst some other things in his pocket, while leaving Julia's number in his pocket. Julia comes in and tells 07 that they have to leave now, or else his memories will be erased once again.

If the two leave, they will be able to leave the life behind, running away from the experiments. The ending leaves the two mostly happy, though not aware of what happened to the rest of the facility and it's ongoing.

If he decides to stay, he will state that he wants to stop Caleb from continuing and find out more about what is going on, no longer running away from his past as he did before as well as worried about Caleb's new victim. Julia sympathizes and brings him to Frida, who has been working together with Julia to help him, at least for the time being. After bringing him to the lab, Julia warns 07 not to break anything before leaving. 07 is able to find documents on Roy's family, how he had a daughter and wife as well as general brain scans of Roy. He also sees pictures of Aran, and eventually finds his brain.

If he chooses to destroy it, Julia will come find him and get angry, as he basically has been refusing to listen to her the entire time. He is caught and wakes up as Caleb is sawing his head open, ready to get more information form him. He accepts Caleb's request of ending it quickly leading it to his death.

If 07 decides not to, he will feel in turmoil, though speaking with Julia lightens him up a bit, seeing that Caleb seems to care about 07 a lot more than the other experiments, which gives 07 some hope that he'll be able to convince Caleb of his wrongdoings. He is brought back to his room where he talks to Caleb the next day about how he joined project Metempsychosis to bring Aran back, even revealing that Frida herself is a product of this project, with Caleb even seeing the original Frida die before his eyes. We see that Caleb is using this project to atone for his misdeeds as he believes that it was his fault that Aran died in the first place. Caleb confirms that 07 will be brought into his brain being wiped and Aran has the choice to kill Caleb.

If he does, he will successfully kill Caleb by choking him, only to realize that he had a gun this entire time and could have killed him. This just leads to him getting caught by the others.

If he doesn't, he will find a key taped under his bowl, and has Julia come into the room by pretending to stab himself. Julia confirms that the key isn't actually from her and promises the next day to talk to him before he gets the procedure. Unfortunately, the next day when Julia comes in, she ends up dying in front of him, with Caleb confirming she was poisoned by the executives for helping 07. After this, Caleb essentially helps 07 escape and with the two of them fighting off scientists and security guards, they are able to leave the hospital. While they leave, Caleb tries to buy time for 07 by going back, in which here 07 has to convince Caleb.

If he convinces Caleb by asking what Aran would do, he will leave with 07 back to the cottage. However, upon sleeping, 07 finds a note thanking 07 before finding that Caleb has committed suicide to be with Aran again.

If he asks about himself, the two will end up meeting Frida, who desperately tries to get Caleb to come back. 07 tells Caleb also that he can't keep running away from his problems, as project Metempsychosis will continue even if Caleb dies, urging him to try to stop these experimentation. After shooting her, the two end up going their separate ways, with 07 buying a new prosthetic eye and arm and permanently changing his name to 07. The two meet up about a year later, with Caleb promising to turn himself in for his crimes and to allow the two of them to finally get some closure.

So first things first, I really like the story for this game and that's probably just because so far I do like Syllaphana's games for both being interesting and having cool twists and turns. In their devlog after this game, they were talking about how they didn't do that well on the worldbuilding, but honestly I thought it was pretty good. It's a solid and simple concept that makes sense in the world that it's in and it's not overly complicated but still explores a lot of different venues, which I think is a perfect match for it. The pacing in the story is also pretty good- I didn't really find any parts of it that dragged for long periods of time and I felt like mostly each part was concise enough to get from scene to scene without it feeling too weird (though it was a bit strange that 07 is able to get away with a lot, such as leaving his room like 3 times with little repercussion, but it's a nitpick). I like how most of the music is a piano motif of some sort as well (except for when they go to the club) which really brings a kind of softer vibe to the overall gameplay experience.

One of the things that I liked the most is seeing Aran and Caleb's relationships form. I actually do appreciate that they're not overly romantic for the most part because while it can be cute, it fits more of the theme for the game (and that I actually have a bias for relationships that aren't just... romanceish, I guess, though it depends on how they are written). It's nice that the pacing is fairly slow when they get together and we see how they mesh well together, with Aran being a bit more reactive to Caleb's teasing while also taking care of him, and Caleb a bit colder in some aspects but also deeply appreciative and caring of Aran. It's also nice to see the two's vices, with Aran being a lot more self destructive in his tendencies, as well as his tendency to run away from everything if given and Caleb's obsessiveness with having to prove himself to be useful, which leads to of course his involvement with Metaphychosis and guilt which he carries around in pretty much all endings. I think because these segments are much longer compared to Sweetest Valentine, we really get to see how they think and view the world as well as just how they are as people. It makes it much more unfortunate when everything starts to snowball, with Caleb not able to give Aran the money that he promised because of his adopted mother and Aran's mother dying after which just leads to Aran's death. It's a lot of unfortunate circumstances that continue to stack on top of each other until it's basically too late. Basically the point is, I like the way that the relationship was handled and that it was mostly in Caleb's point of view.

I actually surprisingly kind of like Frida too. She's a pretty awful person who constantly just plays around with both Caleb and 07 throughout the game, but she is, at least towards 07, relatively useful in his search for what's going on. I actually like the reveal that Frida is actually part of this project as well, that her current body is actually a successful attempt at transposing someone and that she can just continuously be duplicated over and over again. There's some kind of horror knowing that the current body you're in can just be replaced by a company to be exactly the same, and that the current Frida has actually died long ago. It makes me wonder if that's why she was so desperate to get Caleb to stay because otherwise her existence would be in jeopardy or if she had wished that there would be another like her.

For the endings, I normally usually like the "true" or happier endings for characters, but I actually have to side with my yandere lover side and say my favorite ending is the one where Caleb and Aran end in a basically abusive relationship, where Caleb takes the brunt of Aran's anger as a way to pay for what he's done and to satisfy his guilt. It's messed up but in a weird cathartic way, and I honestly do like it better than the true ending. All of the endings are rather bittersweet in one way or another though and it does fit the tone of the story.

But anyways, to the part most people actually care about which is the yandere section. Caleb for the most part is a replacement yandere, though he can be defined as a couple of different ones depending on which route you go down of. Normally replacement yanderes sort of just project their love onto someone who is similar to their love interest, which makes them a bit more iffy in terms of whether they're really yandere for the second person, but in thise case, Caleb is literally transplanting memories onto various people in the hope that one of them becomes Aran. We can see that it doesn't really matter who or what becomes Aran, so as long as Caleb can revive him to some degree, all of the pain and suffering is worth it, as we see in the ending where 07 dies and 06 is used as the replacement. It's also of note that Caleb also does this out of guilt for not being able to save Aran, which I can always appreciate when there's a deeper meaning to why someone becomes a yandere in the first place and he's also aware that what he's doing is wrong but refuses to stop in the hopes that he can one day get Aran back. It's interesting to see that if 07 tricks himself into believing he is Aran that Caleb always stays as a yandere, either accepting him or someone else as Aran, or even just straight up dying so that he can be with him. Ironic that when 07 tries to become Aran so that he won't take any other innocent bystanders away from the experiment that Caleb just gets worse and worse. 07 actually does also become a yandere in these endings too, killing himself when realizes that Caleb is trying to throw him away or even abusing him afterwards, possibly as a way to sate Caleb's guilt(and his own anger) so that he's exactly as he would want. In his true ending, Caleb becomes a redeemed yandere, realizing that he can't run away from his problems nor bring back Aran, and the two have a rather bittersweet reunion. I think it's a nice way for Caleb to realize the error of his ways, and is a good arc to when he finally is able to see 07 as a person and not as an experiment to bring Aran back. This is something even 07 calls out to him about, stating that it's messed up to do something like this and that Aran would never want this to happen, though if it actually gets through to Caleb depends on 07's choices. Caleb's life is intertwined with Aran to the point of suicide in many of the endings.

But anyways, I really like playing this game. It's impressively long compared to the various other demos I've been playing recently and it does a really good job of building this kind of scifiish like world relating to memory erasure. The characters were all pretty interesting (and I feel bad for Julia since she basically sacrifices herself in the best ending, with Caleb... reaction somehow less than 07 which seems strange) and it has an interesting yandere. It's good and I highly recommend playing it.

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

Hello 🌼 I was thanking about facial hair. I'm AFAB. I don't plan on going on T (and I heard it can make you grow facial hair naturally?) but I still would want to grow a beard, or a mustache perhaps, in the future. Would hair transplant help me with that or would my hight estrogen/ lower testosterone make it not work out?

Lee says:

For folks who are unfamiliar, a facial hair transplant involves taking hair from a donor site on your body (usually the back of the head) and transplanting it to your facial region.

It's a common procedure for individuals who cannot grow facial hair naturally or who have patchy beards, and a beard transplant is a viable option for people who do not want testosterone, or were not happy with the amount of facial hair they grew on testosterone.

Transplanted hair behaves like natural hair. Once it's transplanted, it will fall out initially and then start to grow back over the next few months, eventually growing like regular facial hair, even if you're not on testosterone.

AnotherPascal has posted about his beard transplant on Instagram and TransLife&Wife has posted about his on YouTube.

There's an article about beard transplants for trans folks called Facial Hair Transplantation for Transgender Patients: A Literature Review and Guidelines for Practice that was published in the Aesthetic Surgery Journal in 2021. I believe it's open access and I would highly encourage you to read the whole thing!

Like natural facial hair, transplanted hair may require regular trimming or shaving, depending on your desired look.

Testosterone & facial hair:

However, as you've heard, testosterone can indeed stimulate facial hair growth, which is why individuals who take testosterone (T) may experience increased facial hair over time.

You mentioned you do not plan on taking T, which is perfectly valid, but if you think there's a chance that you may change your mind in the future then I would consider waiting for the facial hair transplant until you're at least a couple of years on T because it can take time for your facial hair to fill in.

If you choose to not take T and just go straight for the transplant, having higher levels of estrogen won't necessarily negate the effects of a hair transplant. The transplanted hair is genetically programmed to grow in its new location.

In theory, the lack of testosterone might mean that the hair grows less densely or slowly than it might for someone with higher testosterone levels, but I don't think that's necessarily the case here because the follicles being transplanted are from the head so they'd behave more like head hair than beard hair.

Finding a Trans-Friendly Provider (for a facial hair transplant):

If you're considering a facial hair transplant, the first step is to consult a doctor specializing in hair restoration. They can assess your hair quality, discuss your expectations, and determine whether you're a good candidate for the procedure.

Referrals: Consider asking for referrals from local LGBTQ+ groups, transgender support groups, or healthcare providers known to be trans-friendly.

Consultations: Schedule consultations with potential surgeons. Use this opportunity to ask about their experience with transgender patients and facial hair transplants specifically.

Online Research: Look for reviews or testimonials online. Some websites are dedicated to reviewing medical professionals, and others are focused on the LGBTQ+ community.

Professional Organizations: Check if the surgeon is a member of professional organizations like the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH), which could indicate they're up-to-date on best practices for transgender healthcare.

Keep in mind that any surgical procedure comes with risks and costs. Ensure you're aware of these, and don't hesitate to seek a second opinion if you're unsure.

It might also be helpful to connect with others who have undergone similar procedures or are exploring similar options. Online communities, support groups, or LGBTQ+ centers can be great resources, but it isn't a very common procedure so you may have more look looking to cisgender men who have done similar things.

Facial hair transplants are often considered cosmetic procedures, which many insurance plans do not cover. However, coverage varies widely, so it's important to check with your insurance provider. It may be possible to appeal a denial for coverage by saying testosterone isn't indicated for you so this is a necessary treatment to resolve gender dysphoria etc.

If a procedure can be deemed medically necessary (for example, as part of gender-affirming treatment), insurance might cover it. A therapist might be able to help you make this case to your insurance company by writing a WPATH-style letter of support saying that you need it for Gender Dysphoria Reasons tm. It's also helpful if the office of the doctor doing the hair transplant writes a letter of medical necessity too.

Look for a surgeon who is board-certified in plastic surgery or dermatological surgery. This indicates they've met specific educational, training, and professional standards. It's also beneficial if the surgeon has experience with transgender patients, as they may be more attuned to your specific needs and goals, and may know how to get insurance to cover it.

It may seem obvious, but you have to make sure they have extensive experience with hair transplants, particularly facial hair transplants. Unfortunately some doctors are in it for the money and don't put patients first and/or think they're more capable than they are. To make sure they're up to the task, ask to see before and after photos of previous facial hair transplants they've performed, especially for patients with similar goals to yours.

And again, look for patient reviews or testimonials about their experiences with the surgeon. Pay particular attention to the experiences of trans individuals. I can't emphasize how important we are as a community-- we need to look out for each other and make sure that people don't see predatory providers!

Finally, it's crucial that you feel at least somewhat comfortable with the surgeon. They should treat you with respect, listen to your concerns, and provide thorough, honest answers to your questions. You don't need to be best buddies and they don't need a stellar personality either, but you need to feel like they're competent and that you are comfortable asking them questions about your care and could speak to them if you had complications.

While you wait for your consult, there is one alternative that you can try.

Minoxidil (Rogaine):

You can try minoxidil to increase your hair growth. A lot of people use minoxidil (rogaine) on their faces, and a few use it for body hair. It’s considered an “off-label” use- it’s officially approved for head hair and not other locations. Lots of medicines are used off-label, even prescriptions can be given off-label safely. Topical minoxidil is generally safe, as long as you use the dose recommended by the doctor/the bottle.

There's anecdotal evidence that minoxidil can stimulate new facial hair growth and may help thicken existing hairs. However, its effectiveness can vary, and there's limited scientific research on its use for facial hair specifically.

You can get it over-the-counter (aka without a prescription) online through Amazon or other sites, or at a pharmacy like CVS or Walgreens (it’s usually in the isle with men’s hair products like beard dye, and razors).

Minoxidil is generally safe but can cause side effects like dry skin, itching, and irritation. It's also a long-term commitment; you'll need to continue using it to maintain any new hair growth.

You shouldn’t use more than the recommended dose per day, no matter what body part it goes on (i.e. you shouldn’t cover your legs in it, unless you can stretch the normal dose that far). This is because minoxidil is a vasodilator, which lowers blood pressure. You also shouldn’t use oral minoxidil for hair growth because oral minoxidil is used primarily to lower blood pressure. 

Will minoxidil (i.e., Rogaine) enhance my facial hair growth?

Using Minox for facial hair

Minox is deadly to some pets like cats and may cause hair growth in unusual places

A high concentration of minoxidil (like 12.5%) can cause low blood pressure

My Personal Experience with Minoxidil Pre-T

If you have some peach fuzz from Minox, dying your existing hair darker with facial hair dye might make it more obvious. This is also true for your body hair.

Will facial hair dye make my facial hair appear thicker/denser?

Remember, there's no one "right" way to be you. Whether through medical procedures, hormone therapy, or personal expression, what matters most is that you feel comfortable and authentic in your own skin. If you're sure that you don't want T, then maybe a facial hair transplant might be the right option for you!

Followers, anything to add?

[freckliedan]

yk when you talk about mpreg (you absolutely do not have to answer his btw) do you mean the one getting pregnant has """"female"""" anatomy or just . is a cis man who Somehow gets pregnant

coz i've never known like when ppl talk about mpreg do you imagine one of the people as trans or just Somehow being a cis man w a uterus of a Secret third thing like????!!

hi anon!!!!! ty for asking me this i LOVE to yell about mpreg. the thing about this is that literally every person you ask would have a different answer. and i personally am fascinated by how many different ways there are of conceptualizing and writing about mpreg so i'm willing to read most things?

on my own blog when i'm riffing about phan mpreg i would say i'm picturing neither of the options you mentioned in your first paragraph?

in general¹ i am at best disinterested, at worst squicked by mpreg or omegaverse (or even transmasc fics) where the character who can get pregnant's body is referred to with exclusively "female" terms/has a body like a cis woman's/that is pointedly emasculated or feminized.

nothing inherently wrong with that being someone's cup of tea but it just makes me personally uncomfortable bc of how i and the lovers i've had have experienced transness! & i know that's maybe not 1:1 what you were asking with your phrasing but it's something i see pretty commonly so i figured it was worth mentioning.

i also don't necessarily picture them as cis men who magically got pregnant either? that's way closer, but it's less interesting to me on a personal gender and potential worldbuilding level. a lot of the time fics that do this are also going for mpreg being more medically traumatic/dangerous rather than a normal occurence and i'm overall pretty ehhhh on the execution of that. it can end up pretty intersexist & transphobic at times.

oooh no men ever get pregnant but the protagonist of this fic is an exception and it could kill him and there's relationship problems now about this being a surprise AND whether to keep the baby. have we mentioned yet that no men ever get pregnant and that there's something seriously weird about someone having atypical sex characteristics²?

you get the picture.

overall my posting is essentially playing in an unspecified/vague (and impossible) realm where both dan and phil are their usual selves—so overall still have the primary and secondary sex characteristics cis men do—but they ALSO have uteruses etc & maybe an associated extra hole. and the base assumption is that that mix of traits isn't atypical for the universe i'm playing in when i explore concepts?

overall the way think about phan mpreg is much closer to omegaverse biology than our own, but without the more wolfy aspects of omegaverse? it's not realistic or possible biologically. clearly defining that aspect would make it fall apart. and that's fine!

figuring out the nitty gritty of how birth & biology works isn't the fun part for me? the fun part is "how would dan and phil react to an unplanned pregnancy in a world where they are the same besides that being possible for them". i do usually imagine it being possible for both of them to become pregnant and cause a pregnancy? but the details on how it's possible are adaptable moment to moment depending on what suits my fancy.

for full transparency, this is all just in regards to phan mpreg. i think that people could teach college courses on destiel mpreg. there's SO many different interesting ways i've seen that go that are completely incompatable with the way i enjoy being silly about dan and phil. and that's just one example?

my ideal mpreg universes when crafting aus for fave existing characters are very much so in line with "trans man but no need for top surgery and he gets to have a built in functioning dick & balls, no surgery required there either"³. but that inherently takes things more seriously than i take phan mpreg posting.

or i just go with a character being a trans man? one of my OCs is a trans man as well, and in happier AUs⁴ of my original story he gets to have a family with his lover.

i hope this helped but i really have no idea whether it did or not! either way thanks for the excuse to ramble.

¹i have read exactly one omegaverse mpreg that falls in this category that has an execution i actually enjoy, and i think it's because it's self aware and intentional about what it's doing.

²it is somehow worse when people do actually say "this is because the person who got pregnant is intersex". i've never once seen that actually done well.

³this is transgender wish fulfullment.

⁴unfortunately for him his lover is very much so doomed by the canon narrative. reason why i'm on about AUs of my original writing. i post about my original story @unloneliest and @ostrela-wip

[reiketsui]

as second-in-command, archer has a minor role in just about everything rocket does. but he has a few fields of expertise and duties to specialize in.

MAIN DUTIES

– LEADERSHIP ROLE WHEN GIOVANNI IS ABSENT AND/OR BUSY handling the big decisions, handing out and deciding on promotions, approving and reviewing missions and the reports of them, assigning new duties, deciding on punishments for misbehavior, basically anything that needs the 'final word' from the boss.

– BUSINESS RELATIONS handling overseas business partnerships, relations with the involved political and governmental officials, high-end customers, possible relations with the other organizations and teams, and other higher maintenance partners. keeping up good relations with associates is crucial to keeping rocket operating as it does.

– AUTOPSIES performed especially on those who have died under unclear or unexplained circumstances, or those in a state that others in the same field don't necessarily want to examine. afterwards, sending out odd findings to the labs and accompanying the scientific teams in examinations of them.

– WELLNESS CHECKS as one of the heads of the medical staff, he performs routine medical and physical checkups on members of rocket, making sure they are in good shape mentally and physically and fit for their designated duties and ranks. he also keeps track of those injured in duty and their healing process, both temporary and chronic. those promoted from officers upwards get an especially thorough checking.

– GUN CONTROL / MARTIAL ARTS TRAINING holding out classes, both for groups and private, with proper weapon handling and martial arts techniques.

– GUN TRADE in control of the massive trade of gun and weapon smuggling from the kanto & johto areas and overseas.

– ASSASSINATIONS he can work his way through a sniper rifle, whenever rocket needs someone out of the picture for good. also occasionally does outsider commissions on this, when someone is ready to pay top (poké)dollar.

SIDE DUTIES

– SUPPLY TRADE watches over the group of scientists working outside the organization in charge of manufacturing them special battle and healing items like potions and poké balls with certain performance-boosting enhancements.

– POKÉMON TRAINING CLASSES especially for dark types due to being a specialist and the type being notoriously difficult to train.

– THE POKÉMON BREEDING INDUSTRY with a focus on the more on-demand and rare species, like dratinis and porygons.

[seafoamreadings]

Hi! I really enjoy your blog, and thought I'd throw a question your way that is both astrology and tarot related. I've seen some info online that associates specific tarot cards with a given sign. I think usually these are meant to be read as sun signs, but do you think there's a more accurate way to go about it? What cards do you associate with each sign? Or if you'd rather talk in more specifics, what tarot cards would you associate with Pisces sun, Scorpio moon, Leo rising? Thanks!

ooh fun question, thank you for including tarot!! i like to remind everyone periodically that's where i have my real roots :) i have been doing astrology for a little over 8 years but i have been doing tarot for much, much longer, and my whole entire family is a tarot family - my mom has been doing this since she was quite young so it predates my existence in my genes. i am the only one who does astrology though lol.

those associations are actually what got me into astrology in the first place. i was a tarot-only girl for a long time and scoffed at such frivolous pursuits as astrology ;) (now look at me, lol)

they are usually meant to be the sign itself, not any particular planet in a sign and not any querent's sign. most, not all but certainly most, of these correspondences come from golden dawn and similar ceremonial esoteric traditions, with some deviations from that system like crowley's (although such deviations are still very similar).

so the chariot for example has the correspondence cancer. for at least the RWS deck and arthur waite's plans for it, that was just cancer, not the sun in cancer, not anything in cancer. just that sign, cancer, and its energies.

now, crowley's thoth deck is layered and layered and layered with extra symbolism. the chariot is still cancer. but you have things a little more specific in the minor arcana, like off the top of my head the four of wands in the thoth deck is called completion, and it is associated specifically with venus in aries.

so it's going to depend on what deck you are using, and whether you are comfortable applying eg the crowleyan themes to other decks. nothing stops you from doing that and it can be useful, but it's not necessarily the intended use, and purists might frown on it. i am not a purist.

a lot of modern artists who make their own decks don't necessarily include any such associations. you could choose to read them utterly without the astrology, or you could project one of these systems onto the deck.

personally when i read cards i don't delve into those astrological correspondences UNLESS something pings in my intuition that reminds me to do so. then it turns out to be relevant. but those are strictly intuitive choices i make on a reading by reading, card by card basis. AND in my head/intuition it changes somewhat. i may draw like, a king of cups, and be like oh, some water sign man. could be any of the water signs. at other times i may have the thoth deck in mind or be holding the actual thoth deck, in which case crowley's intended meaning was specifically the degrees in the last decan of aquarius and the first two decans of pisces, and lady frida harris drew a crab on the card, so i might think more specifically of cancer.

there is a story i think from rachel pollack? about drawing the chariot and a diagnosis, medically, of cancer - a weird association with that card but a valid one. (rachel pollack was a very cool lady btw, if you aren't familiar with her, look into her life and work!)

it's all so situational!

just for fun though, with no particular deck in mind and going strictly based on vibes for the big three you mentioned (some folks may disagree with my picks here) i would say page of cups for pisces sun, the high priestess for scorpio moon, three of wands for leo rising. (but there's not really any tradition applied here. just vibes and my brain.)

thanks again for the very cool question, love this :)