#and normally i don’t mind people being home. but i have not been truly home alone since before the move. and i need my alone time.

[starmagnets]

i wish that i could literally ever be home alone ever anymore.

[helaintoloki]

A Favor

pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

warnings: lots of pining, eventual fluff, fake dating

notes: had to try my hand at the fake dating trope

summary: you pretend to be Bucky’s girlfriend in order to help his campaign despite your very real feelings for him

“You want me to what?”

Sam can’t hold back his laughter when you look at Bucky like he’s grown a second head after processing the question he has asked you. The man in question stands there with an unamused scowl and a growing sense of embarrassment while waiting for his friend to regain his composure.

“Are you finished?” He snarks sharply, grunting in annoyance when Sam heartily claps his back in his response.

“I’m good, I’m good,” he breathes after wiping away a tear, “go ahead and ask her again.”

“I need you to pretend to be in a relationship with me,” Bucky mutters while refusing to meet your gaze, wishing the floor of your home would simply open up and swallow him whole so that he’d be saved from the humiliation.

“You realize that’s a crazy thing to ask, right?” You retort from your place behind the kitchen island. When you invited the two men over for dinner you hadn’t anticipated being ambushed like this, and you were starting to regret ever getting yourself mixed up with the two heroes.

“I know it is, but Valentina says if I want votes I need to make myself more relatable. Some people still have a hard time separating me from the Winter Soldier, but if they can see me as a normal man with a loving partner they might change their minds.”

“And why can’t Sam be the loving partner?” You rebuff, prompting him to immediately raise his hands in protest.

“Nuh uh, baby. Are you forgetting I’m Captain America? I’m too busy to be playing house with Mr. Congeniality over here.”

“Y/n, you’re the only person that can do this,” Bucky insists, eyes pleading for you to understand, “it would be more believable if it was you since we’re already close.”

“Maybe too damn close,” Sam murmurs under his breath, but both you and Bucky choose to ignore his comment.

“I don’t know,” you drawl, still a bit hesitant to put yourself through a fake relationship, “it feels a bit scummy lying to voters like that.”

“Politicians lie all the time,” Bucky tries to justify, but it’s not very effective in convincing you. “Look, this is something that’s important for me to do, and I will owe you for the rest of my life if you help me. It will only be until the votes are in, and then we can go back to normal.”

Sighing, you let your hands fall onto the counter and gaze thoughtfully at the marble surface as you weigh your options. It really couldn’t be that bad, could it? You’re already fond of Bucky as a friend, so it wouldn’t be so hard to pretend to be in love with him for a few months. What was the harm?

You look up and meet his expectant gaze, and it’s hard not to say yes when the desperation is clear in his eyes. Bucky has always been good at getting you to fold, and this time is no different.

“Alright, I’ll do it,” you finally say, and the grin that spreads across his face almost feels rewarding. He immediately pulls you into his arms for a bone crushing hug and thanks you profusely, but his gratitude falls on deaf ears as you make eye contact with Sam over his shoulder.

The man says nothing, but he doesn’t have to when the mischievous smile on his face speaks for itself. You’ve gotten yourself into deep shit and he knows it.

You just hope you can keep up the facade without revealing how you truly feel.

~~~

Your arrangement with Bucky is simple.

While in public you are to act as in love with him as possible. You hold hands, share innocent pecks, look adoringly into each other’s eyes, and act as if your relationship isn’t a complete sham. When telling stories about each other you make sure to include some bits of truth to make it more believable and easier to remember when prompted. Your arrangement also includes public appearances to important social events, and that’s how you find yourself in your current predicament.

You wouldn’t consider yourself the most extroverted person out there, so you felt extremely out of your element as you donned the nicest dress you owned and accompanied Bucky to a cocktail party hosted by the local mayor. All eyes had been on you the moment you’d walked through the door on his metal arm, and you weren’t sure if you could handle getting this type of attention. This was only your first public appearance as his girlfriend and already were you starting to feel the pressure.

“You doing okay?” Bucky murmurs into your ear before flashing a smile to nearby onlookers.

“I’m starting to regret agreeing to this,” you answer honestly, prompting a genuine chuckle to leave his lips.

“Trust me, it gets easier being in the spotlight after a while.”

You sincerely doubt that, but you don’t get a chance to argue as you’re immediately swarmed by a group of journalists eager to get their questions answered. The lights of their cameras are blinding, and you feel like you’ve been tossed into the lion’s den as they immediately bombard you both with questions.

“Mr. Barnes, is it true you’re running for a position in congress?”

“It is,” he affirms with an easy smile before reciting the practiced lines Valentina had vehemently rehearsed with him. “I have great hopes for this election.”

“Mr. Barnes, may I ask who you have with you tonight?”

“This beautiful woman is my wonderful girlfriend,” Bucky replies while simultaneously pulling you closer to his side. “Y/n has been nothing but supportive of my campaign, and it’s with her support that I’ve found the courage to run.”

“Do you have anything to say to those who doubt Mr. Barnes’s capability to serve in congress?” A woman asks before shoving a microphone in your face. You freeze like a deer caught in headlights as all the focus turns to you, and it takes you a moment to compose yourself before finally willing yourself to answer.

“I think…” you start off with a nervous smile, mind racing as you struggle to come up with the perfect response. Bucky shoots you a subtle look, reminding you of what he’d advised you in the car before you’d arrived. ‘Just be honest.’ “I know that my James is a good man, a strong man who cares deeply for those around him. The American people can put their faith in someone like Bucky because despite all that he has been through, he has never once given up on himself or the people that love him. I have no doubt in my mind that Bucky could help our government for the better.”

More questions are thrown your way that you are happy to answer, but this causes you to miss the clear adoration in Bucky’s eyes as he watches you carry yourself so eloquently in front of all these people. You meant every single word you said, and so had he.

Unbeknownst to either of you, the lines between reality and fiction were already starting to blur when it came to your make believe relationship.

~~~

“So how did you two meet?”

You’re taking part in yet another press junket arranged by Valentina to help the public see Bucky’s humility and make your relationship seem more genuine. This is your third interview of the day, and all you want is to go home so you can put on your coziest pajamas and enjoy a pizza from the comfort of your couch. Public appearances are draining, but Bucky promises you that after this week you won’t be expected to appear on camera as frequently. You’re holding him to that promise because otherwise you might lose your sanity, and Bucky knows how scary you can be when provoked.

“Well, after the Thanos situation had ended and the dust settled, I moved into a new apartment for a fresh start,” Bucky explains truthfully before turning to you with a tender smile. “What I didn’t expect after moving in was to have the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen standing at my door with a plate of cookies to welcome me into the building. I think I thought about her smile for an entire week before finally working up the courage to thank her and invite her over for dinner.”

Though the story Bucky relays to the cameras is mostly true, you’re honestly stunned by the way he chooses to describe you. He must be really desperate for viewers to believe he’s a man in love with the way he speaks as if Cupid’s arrow had struck him the day you two met. You find yourself shifting almost nervously in your seat listening to him talk about how wonderful you are, and you can almost feel your heart trying to escape your ribcage. You know he means none of this, so why does your stomach flip every time he mentions how beautiful you are or how enamored he is with you?

“Would you say your experience was similar?” The interviewer asks, and it takes you a moment to realize they’re talking to you now. You dotingly place a hand on Bucky’s knee then gaze into his eyes with nothing but love and are surprised to see him already looking at you that way.

“From the moment I first introduced myself to James I knew he was different from anyone I’d ever met before. I think I was taken by his eyes when I first saw him, and I still sometimes find myself admiring them when I think he’s not paying attention.”

Though he doesn’t know it, your words are completely true. You could spend hours staring into his eyes and admiring the way they light up when he laughs or smiles. You have it bad for Bucky, really bad, and yet you’ve kept it to yourself throughout the course of your friendship. Despite Sam’s insistence to tell him the truth, you just can’t bring yourself to do it. You love him too much to risk losing his friendship, so you’d made peace with the fact that you’d never be more than just a companion a long time ago. You thought you could survive being his fake girlfriend, but with each day that passes it gets harder and harder not to fall into the fantasy.

“You doing okay?” He asks you after the night is over and you’re free to be yourself in the safety of his car. You’d been quiet ever since leaving the press junket, and Bucky knew you well enough to detect when your mind was becoming overrun.

“I think I’m just tired,” you answer truthfully, “it’s hard to keep up the facade sometimes.”

“I get what you mean,” he chuckles, prompting you to frown. You don’t think he does get what you mean or understand how suffocating it is to act as if your adoration and affection are just for show. “We just have one more event to attend and then we can go back to being friends.”

“Bucky?”

“Yeah, doll?”

You swallow nervously, opening your mouth only to shut it as you hold back the words you desperately wish to say. You don’t want to complicate things and ruin all of his hard work, it would be selfish of you to muck it up now when he’s so close to the finish line. So instead, you look to him with a halfhearted smile and suggest, “You want to pick up a pizza on the way home?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

~~~

You’re grateful for the fact that the last public event on your itinerary is a birthday party for your very own Captain America. All of the focus is on Sam, and the political journalists are much more interested in his relationship with Bucky than yours. You can breathe without having to worry about being perceived or disturbed, and you don’t mind being old news in the slightest.

Sam finds you outside the banquet hall in the garden gazebo staring contemplatively at the sky a few hours into the party, and he joins you with glasses of champagne in hand.

“I’ve been looking for you,” he notes with a kind smile before handing you your glass. “I’ve been dying to have a real human conversation all night, but these reporters are relentless.”

“You don’t have to tell me that,” you joke thoughtfully before taking a sip of the drink. You don’t particularly like champagne, but you appreciate the way the alcohol helps settle your nerves.

“You doing okay?” Sam prompts, genuine concern etched on his features. You know what he’s getting at, and you know he’s aware of just how hard this has all been on you. Sam had been able to shake you down into confessing your feelings for Bucky two years ago after noting your jealousy over the fact that he’d been on a date. He teased you relentlessly for having a crush on the Winter Soldier, but it was all in good faith. Sam had always rooted for you two, but neither of you seemed capable of ever making a move. It was exhausting to watch his two closest friends blindly pine after one another, but he knew better than to intervene and instead chose to be a supportive shoulder for you to lean on.

“After today I’m back to being just a friend,” you state with a wry smile, “and it’s back to square one.”

“You know it would be easier to just tell him how you feel instead of torturing yourself, right?”

“I know,” you sigh pathetically, swirling the remaining champagne around in your glass.

“So why don’t you? I know you never believe me when I say this, but I know for a fact he feels the same way about you. You’re both just too scared of rejection to admit it so you never even try to make a move.”

“I’m not a hero or a politician, and I don’t belong in your world. It’s by pure chance I ended up becoming part of your little team, so I don’t think I’m what Bucky needs.”

“Come on, y/n/n, give yourself a little credit,” Sam comforts while gently nudging your side with his elbow. “You’re an amazing woman with a big heart, and while Bucky may be stupid, he’s definitely not stupid enough to be blind to the fact.”

Laughing softly at Sam’s ability to seamlessly slide in an insult at Bucky’s expense, you nudge him back and say, “Thanks, Sam. You always know just what to say.”

“Trying to steal my girl, Wilson?” A third voice interjects, both of you turning to see Bucky approaching the gazebo with an amused smile.

“Not this time, Barnes,” Sam shoots back playfully before giving you a quick squeeze to his side. “I’ll leave you two alone, but be back inside within the next half hour for cake.”

“You got it, Cap,” you affirm with a salute while Bucky takes his place beside you.

“You ran off on me,” he points out in mock hurt.

“Well, I didn’t want to interrupt the love fest you and Sam were putting on for the reporters,” you jest only for Bucky to roll his eyes.

“You’re hilarious.”

You smile and return your gaze back to the garden, enjoying the silence and the comfort Bucky’s presence brings you. Despite the aching longing that settles in the pit of your stomach every time you’re around him, you appreciate his company. You’d stay his platonic friend forever if it meant always getting to keep him close like this without the risk of losing him.

“You look beautiful,” he says suddenly to break the silence, prompting you to look at him surprise.

“Thanks, but… you know you don’t have to say stuff like that when the cameras aren’t around.”

“I know,” Bucky reiterates softly while taking your hand in his own, “and I don’t need them around to tell you that.”

Your stomach does a flip, but you ignore the racing of your heart and let out a quiet laugh before asking him if he’s had too much to drink. His smile drops for a moment as he falters, but you watch with piqued interest when he lets out a quiet sigh and shifts so that the space between you lessens.

“I haven’t been honest with you,” he says with a repentant frown, looking down at your intertwined hands contemplatively. You swallow nervously and are unsure of where this conversation could be heading, but it seems like it’s serious.

“What is it, Bucky?”

“I didn’t ask you to be my fake girlfriend because it would be easier to pretend with you. I asked because… well, I knew that I wouldn’t have to convince everyone of something that was already true.”

The air feels like it’s buzzing around you while you process his words; you almost can’t believe what you’re hearing, and a part of you is convinced that maybe you’re just misunderstanding him, but the look of complete love and yearning on his face only solidifies the truth in his words.

“So you’re saying you mean it when you tell those reporters that you love me?” You utter in quiet surprise, eyes sparkling under the moonlight when you meet his gaze. “And that I’m the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen?”

“Every single word,” he murmurs softly, metal hand coming to rest on your cheek. “I have loved every minute of being your boyfriend, and I don’t want that to end after my campaign is up. I want us to be the real deal, sweetheart.”

You bite your lip to hold back a giddy smile and nearly melt into his touch when he brings your face closer to his own so that your noses brush together. He hesitates for only a moment before finally closing the space between you both and kissing you sweetly. Your arms find their way around his neck as he pulls you impossibly close against him and encapsulates you in his warmth. Underneath the moonlight in the garden gazebo, you and Bucky share your first real kiss.

You feel dazed when you finally break apart, your heart beating a mile a minute and only increasing when Bucky flashes you a grin.

“I’ve wanted to do that for ages,” he confesses earnestly before stealing another kiss. “I’m sorry it took me this long to finally tell you.”

“I would have waited forever,” you admit sheepishly, effectively outing yourself as a lovesick fool. You allow yourself to rest your head upon his chest while his arms move to wrap around your figure and encase you against him. The music from inside quietly drifts into the garden, and you hum in contentment as Bucky slowly sways you back and forth.

You know if you don’t move now you’ll miss the cake, but there isn’t a single ounce of your spirit that wishes to leave from this spot. Bucky is finally yours, and you can finally be honest about your feelings with the man you’ve been hopelessly in love with for years.

It seems your only worry now will be having to explain to Sam why you missed his cake cutting.

[kekewrites]

tw. mention of creampie, size kink, wholesome(?), reader is unable to speak human language + limited vocabulary, mention of abuse, abandonment issues

Imagine being a puppy!hybrid who's been saved by your current owner months ago. He found you wandering the streets alone, cold and starving.

It was pouring hard and the wind was extra harsh that day. Oh, how pitiful it is to see a hungry little pup girl rummage through the dirty trash bins, hoping to see scraps and edible food. That sight of you tugged on his tender heart, unable to walk away from such scene, he approached with quiet footsteps, not wanting to scare your cautious figure.

Your sharp senses have been dulled by fatigue and hunger as you didn't even notice his presence behind. Normally, you would've bolted away, afraid of how humans have treated you, but the way his voice sounded to your alert furry ears made your guard down. It was different from the people who abused and abandoned you. So gentle, the way his voice sounded like a lullaby.

That was the last thing you remembered after your first meeting.

***

You really are the best pet or companion he could ever ask for. Such a baby to take care of truly. He found out how you were unable to speak human language, often babbling and butchering words if you do try to talk. You do understand simple phrases and tones, which made it easier to communicate with you. He's not that knowledgeable about hybrids but he do know how to take care of a regular dog. It's hard to compare you to a dog or a human, you're neither closer to the other.

He severely underestimate how much of an attachment you formed with him.

It's not a bad thing.

But it certainly becomes harder for him to leave you for work.

"Come on... Don't look at me like that."

He really didn't want to leave you alone. Truly, he wants to be with you 24/7 but he needs to work, or else he won't be able to spoil you.

Your small pout and cute begging eyes, along with your droopy ears nearly made him stay. Nearly.

"Baby... I need to go. Don’t make that face," he murmurs, his voice soft as he takes in your pouted lips and droopy ears, tugging at his heartstrings. He gently pulls you up, pressing a kiss to your cheek, trailing to your lips, and peppering your face with soft kisses.

Don’t worry, he always thinks of you while he’s typing away at his lonely desk, his mind wandering to what you’re doing without him by your side. Were you playing just fine? Eating the meals he prepped for you? Being a good girl for him? His heart aches at the thought of you waiting by the door, staring at it just as he left it.

He never anticipated how slow time would crawl as he counted the minutes to the end of his shift, refusing to let a single minute become overtime. The moment he could, he raced through the garage and drove home.

"I’m back!" he calls, dropping his case of files and loosening his tie.

Thump, thump, thump.

Oh, how he loved the sound of your footsteps racing across the floor to reach him. It was the kind of sound that melted away the stress of the day, the kind of sound that reminded him why he hurried home in the first place. But this time, he wasn’t prepared for the way you threw yourself at him, arms flung wide as you collided with his chest.

He stumbled slightly, caught off guard, but quickly steadied himself, wrapping his arms around you instinctively. Your warmth, the way you buried your face in his suit—it all made his heart swell.

"Whoa there!" he said, chuckling softly as he ruffled your hair. "I missed you too, baby."

You looked up at him, your eyes bright with joy, and his exhaustion melted away completely. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, holding you close as if he’d never let go. Moments like this made everything worth it, every long hour and every sleepless night. You were his home, his safe haven, and the best part of his day.

"W-Wel... um," you stammer, your cheeks flushing slightly as your little fangs peek out with each syllable. "Wellum... b-back!"

He freezes for a moment, blinking as he stares at you, his head tilting slightly in confusion. Then, it hits him like a soft breeze, the realization dawning across his face.

Were you trying to say welcome back?

His heart squeezes as the thought sinks in, and a wide grin tugs at his lips. Aren’t you just the cutest? He crouches down to your level, his hands gently resting on your shoulders.

"Wellum back, huh?" he teases softly, his voice warm and playful. "Thank you, sweetheart. I feel very welcome now."

You shift nervously, glancing away with a little huff, but your lips twitch as if you’re trying not to smile. He chuckles and taps the tip of your nose affectionately, unable to resist how endearing you look.

"Do you know how much I missed you?" he says, his tone dropping into something softer, almost a whisper, as he pulls you into a hug. "Hearing that from you just made my day, you know that?"

Coming home was the best part of his day, he might quit his work and become a full-time freelancer if it meant spending more time with you.

Then one day came something with you. Your behavior became odd, strange even...

It didn't take too long for him to realize that you were approaching your heat. He read about it while researching about hybrids, the heat suppressants pills already stock in his drawers. The only problem was how uncooperative you were, spitting out the pills, running away when it was time for bathing, and being skittish whenever he was out. You were still his sweet girl, but you'd get moody and have an outburst.

"Come on, it's not that bad... Come here, baby." His voice is soft, coaxing.

Bath time was his least favorite thing to do. Not because he didn’t enjoy the idea of it—cleanliness was important—but because it always turned into a battle of wills. He never liked having to wrestle with you, and yet here you were, backed into the corner of the room like a wary kitten—wait, like a dog your arms wrapped protectively around yourself.

His gaze softens as he takes in your cowering, guarded figure. The way you look at him, a mix of defiance and uncertainty, makes his resolve waver. But the small trail of dirt smeared across your cheek and the strands of hair sticking to your face remind him there's no way around this.

"Baby, you can't stay like that forever," he says, tilting his head with an amused grin. He takes a cautious step forward, his movements slow, deliberate. "I'll make it quick, I promise. No bubbles this time, okay?"

You narrow your eyes suspiciously, not buying into his negotiations just yet. Inching further into the corner.

He sighs dramatically, running a hand through his hair. "This time, no tricks, just a nice, warm soak. You'll feel so much better."

When you don't budge, his grin turns sly. "But if you're going to make me chase you…" He starts rolling up his sleeves, his voice dropping to a mock-serious tone. "Then don't blame me if I catch you."

Your eyes widen slightly, and he sees the tiniest twitch of a smile forming on your lips, your tail wagging despite your best efforts to hide it. In that split second, he lunges forward, scooping you up effortlessly despite your squeals of protest. "Gotcha!" he declares triumphantly, carrying you toward the tub, half-heartedly squirming in his arms.

His smile softening as he presses a quick kiss to your forehead. "Now, let's get you cleaned up, stubborn little thing."

It was a nice warm bath, you placed on his lap as his arms wrapped around your waist for preventing your escape.

"See? Not that bad, hm?" He murmurs, almost groaning at how blissful he's feeling. The warm and comfortable water around him plus your nice, soft and plush figure on his lap made it ten times better than usual.

You were oddly quiet, your ears flopping. Your temperature higher than normal, he can see how you were breathing heavily.

Oh.

It's starting again hm?

Well, he's here to help... just not with the pill.

***

The scent of your arousal filled the air, sweet and intoxicating, making his own body react in kind. His cock twitched, already starting to harden.

"Hey, baby, you okay?" He asked softly, his voice rough with concern and desire. He tightened his arms around your waist, holding you close as you shifted restlessly on his lap. "You're burning up. Do you need me to cool you down?"

Your tail thumped against the side of the bathtub, betraying your excitement. His hands slid up your sides, tracing the curves of your body through the water. He leaned in close, his lips brushing the shell of your ear.

"I can help you feel better. I know just what you need," He murmured, his voice low and seductive. His hands continued their exploration, cupping your breasts through the water. They were swollen and sensitive, the nipples hardening under his touch. His cock was fully hard now. Pressing his hips up against your ass, letting you feel his cock throb with need. He reaches down, his fingers finding your clit, rubbing in tight circles. Your breath hitches, a soft whimper escaping your lips as he works you, bringing you closer to the edge.

"That's it, let me hear you," he rasps.

His tongue laves over your pulse point, teeth grazing the sensitive skin. Marking you, claiming you. His fingers never stop their relentless assault on your clit, pushing you higher and higher until you're trembling on the brink, teetering on the edge of release.

"Come for me," he demands.

And you do, your back arching, a scream tearing from your throat as your orgasm crashes over you. He holds you through it, his fingers still working your clit, drawing out your pleasure until you're boneless and spent in his arms.

But he's not done with you yet. Not by a long shot.

He read that hybrid's heat last long for a few weeks, worst case scenario, for months. It could affect your well-being so he won't take any chances for that to happen.

"Hold on tight, baby," He murmured against your lips, his voice husky with desire. With a smooth motion, he stood up in the bathtub, water sloshing around them as he carried you in his arms. Stepping out of the bathtub, water cascading down his muscular body as he made his way to the bedroom.

He'll do anything for his girl.

Anything.

[hoshifighting]

Villain! Seungcheol

— Synopsis: After facing constant rejection from your own boyfriend, you discover he’s a superhero flying around the city. Seungcheol, the so-called 'villain,' stepped in when you were left as bait, exposed to your boyfriend's enemies. It turns out, he's the one who truly took care of you. — WC: 13k — WARNINGS: fantasy, angst, smut, crack, cigarettes, stalking (for good), physical fights, injury, murder, death (not the reader, not seungcheol), paranormal elements (superpowers, misshapenness, telepathy, and floating), moral ambiguity (unclear distinctions between "heroes" and "villains"), sex toys, oral (f. & m.), getting caught masturbating, cock riding, edging, creampie, DIRTY TALK.

You’ve dated a guy from the basketball team in high school, a guy from the cafeteria you used to frequent, and had your flings with… normal people. Gym rats or those who sang at the local bar.

But never... a hero? 

He was kind, and romantic, and treated you well—in the beginning of your relationship. But then he became distant, always desperate to go home at night, barely sleeping at your apartment. You thought about a whirlwind of things, like a normal person would think of; that he was cheating on you, that he had stopped loving you.

Tonight, you’re making dinner—a last-ditch effort to please him, to make him notice you again. The TV in the living room is tuned to the news, the background noise almost comforting. You chop vegetables with precise, almost robotic movements, your mind drifting.

“He’s probably just busy,” you mutter to yourself, trying to believe it. But it’s hard to ignore the nagging feeling in your chest.

Just then, a headline on the TV catches your attention. You glance up, expecting to see something mundane. Maybe an officer, a firefighter, or even a regular person with good sociology. Instead, you see your boyfriend, wearing a red hero cape, flying around the city. The spatula in your hand falls directly onto the ground, clattering loudly.

[Hero is seen flying between skyscrapers to make the city of Seoul increasingly safer.]

“What the...?” Your heart races as you stare at the screen, unable to believe your eyes. 

Your boyfriend, the man you’ve been worrying over, is a fucking superhero? Just like Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy? 

The front door opens and he walks in, looking tired but carrying the same gentle smile that used to make your heart flutter. Tonight, though, it only fuels your confusion and frustration.

“Hey, babe,” he says, stepping into the kitchen. He pauses when he sees your expression, the dropped spatula. “What’s wrong?”

You point at the TV, unable to form words. He follows your gaze, and his face falls as he sees the news footage.

“Ah, you found out,” he says softly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I was going to tell you, I swear.”

[...]

This is how it started. It's as if, when you didn't know, he still made a point of being present here and there. But now that you know, he doesn't even care about it anymore. “I have to save the country, love,” you’ve heard this a bunch of times. 

So when you turn on the TV, you have to see him flexing those stupid big muscles—that he gained out of nowhere—making you doubt if he’s using padding or prosthetics under that cheesy costume.

He shouldn’t be seen around your house, so the 'villains' don’t know where you live.

You don't recognize him anymore. Was it egotistical to wish that he never had superpowers? That he was just a regular human, just like you?

"Hey," his voice breaks you out of your thoughts. He's standing in the doorway, looking worn out but with a familiar, almost hesitant smile. "I brought takeout. Thought we could have a quiet night in."

You glance at the food in his hands, your heart aching. "A quiet night in? Like the ones we used to have?"

He sighs, setting the bags down on the table. "Yeah, like those. I know things have been... different. But I'm trying, Y/N. I really am."

"Trying?" you repeat, incredulous. "You disappear for days, and when you’re here, it’s like you’re not really here. You're always thinking about the next mission, the next villain."

"I know," he admits, running a hand through his hair. "The powers, the responsibility... it just happened."

"Did it?" you snap, unable to hold back your frustration. "Because it feels like you chose this. Like you chose being a hero over being with me."

His eyes widen, pain flickering across his face. "That's not true. I didn't choose this over you. I chose this because... because I want to make the world a better place. For us."

You shake your head, "But what about making our world better? What about being here, with me? Being present?"

As you sit down to eat, the TV plays in the background, another heroic feat being broadcasted. You hesitate, looking at the man you once knew so well, now feeling like a stranger.

With great insistence, you managed to make him sleep in your bed. When you left the bath to join him in your sheets, he was already sleeping—hibernating, snoring like never before. You sigh, laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. You stayed like this until you saw the perfect clouds through the window, fluffy, looking like cotton candy, with the blue sky painting a canvas behind them. It was a beautiful morning.

You don’t remember leaving the window open, so you get up to close it, stopping the wind from hitting your face. The sun was radiating, and you could see people enjoying their morning. But still... why do you feel this smell of storm coming?

The water started to flow, not from the sky, but from your eyes—your tears. The next storm is the one inside you, making small whirlwinds and huge hurricanes, carrying you and destroying you. Obviously, your boyfriend wasn't home. His smell wasn’t there, his presence was like bills payable, only at the end of the month.

You made your bed, some of your tears ruining the perfect white duvet. You walked around your kitchen, picking up the single coffee mug on your countertop and washing it.

Your coworkers noticed your face—like you had slept nothing last night—and even asked what was happening. How could you explain this? How could you explain that you were dating a guy for some years, and he turned into a superhero—flying around the city with underwear over the costume?

Of course, they would laugh, not only because it's the biggest turnoff they will ever have seen, but also because they would think it's a joke, a badly told joke. It makes you feel even more stupid for being complicit, an extra in his comic book.

You arrive home. You look at the window, open again. You roll your eyes, closing it to prevent the wind from coming in. “Are you flying through my windows now?” you mumble, half expecting an answer.

You wonder if you should watch the news again, and see your boyfriend flex his muscles in front of the pretty journalist, putting out a fire in an establishment, looking at the camera to see if they've captured his heroic act, or when he carried a mail car with one arm in front of a group of girls who were walking on the sidewalk. 

You cringe, remembering all of them.

Dropping your bag on the couch, you plop down and grab the remote. You flick through the channels, each news report showing another heroic deed of his. "Great," you mutter sarcastically, landing on a channel where he’s giving an interview, his muscles practically bursting out of his suit.

He’s talking about his latest rescue, grinning at the journalist who’s batting her eyelashes at him. "And what’s next for our hero?" she asks, her voice sugary sweet.

"I’m just here to help," he replies, flashing a charming smile. "Wherever I’m needed."

You snort, turning off the TV. "Right, wherever you're needed. Except here," you say to the empty room.

You wander into the kitchen, the silence pressing in on you. You fill the kettle and set it to boil, needing something warm to soothe your frayed nerves. As you wait, you think about the early days, when he was just a guy you loved. Back when his biggest concern was making you laugh, not saving the world.

The kettle whistles, and you pour yourself a cup of tea, the steam rising in lazy spirals. You take a sip, leaning against the counter. "Why can’t you just be normal?" You whisper to yourself.

A sudden whoosh of air makes you jump, causing your hand to bump into the kettle. The same speed you touched it, you yank your hand back, a little burn forming. It’s nothing too serious, but enough to make you curse under your breath.

Your boyfriend widens his eyes and rushes over. “Let me help you,” he says, reaching for your hand.

“Fuck off,” you snap, pulling away. “I don’t need your help.”

He frowns, clearly hurt. How can someone not want his help? “I’m just trying to help.” his voice laced with exasperation.

Irritated by everything and the little burn on your hand, you cut him off. “What are you going to do, huh? Use lasers from your eyes?” You turn to the sink, running cold water over your hand.

“You’re always complaining,” he starts, his voice rising. “But you’re so difficult to deal with lately.”

You whip around, glaring at him. “Difficult? Do you have any idea how hard this is for me?”

He crosses his arms, his expression turning snobbish. “And it’s a walk in the park for me? I’m out there saving lives.”

“Yeah, and flexing your muscles for the cameras,” you retort, your voice dripping with sarcasm.

He narrows his eyes. “You’re never supportive. All you do is whine about how hard your life is.”

You feel your blood boil. “Supportive? How can I be supportive when you’re never here? When you act like being a hero is the only thing that matters?”

He throws his hands up in frustration. “Because it does matter! I’m making a difference.”

“And what about us?” you yell, the words spilling out before you can stop them. “What about making a difference here, with me?”

He looks at you, anger and confusion on his face. “I’m trying to balance it, but you’re making it impossible.”

Tears prick at your eyes, but you refuse to let them fall. “You know what? I wish you never turned into a hero. I wish you never had these stupid superpowers. I preferred it when you were just human, like me.”

He scoffs, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. “That’s the thing. I don’t want to be weak like you humans anymore. You’re just jealous when you should be cheering for me.”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut. Jealous? Is that really what he thinks? “Jealous?” you echo. “I’m not jealous. I just miss the person you used to be.”

He shakes his head, looking away. “I’m still that person. You’re just too blind to see it.”

"Blind? Are you fucking serious?" you scoff, turning your back to him. "Leave," you grunt.

He furrows his eyebrows, shocked. Never in your relationship did he think he would see you like this—his cute girlfriend who begged for him to stay just one more minute, asking him to leave?

"I'm not going to repeat it," you say coldly. "You're making me feel sick."

"Fuck you then!" he curses under his breath before he storms out, leaving you stiff in the middle of your kitchen.

"Oof, I wouldn't let him get away with it if I were you."

You turn toward the voice, coming from the window—that one that you had to close again even though you already did in the morning. 

A man is sitting there with the help of the fire escape stairs outside the building. He’s dressed all in black, and you can’t even distinguish how many layers of clothing he’s wearing. His hair is black, and he has one eyebrow raised as he smokes a cigarette.

People react differently when scared. Some scream, some run. But you… you feel like your feet are glued to the ground, and from your throat, not a sound escapes. Your mouth opens and closes like a fish as your eyes widen in shock. 

He doesn’t seem to care. He drops his cigarette, watching it accidentally fall on someone’s head below.

He hisses, "Ooh, sorry about that." Then he jumps from the window, landing gracefully in your living room as he brushes off his shoulders.

“You know, you should be more careful when locking your windows. You’re the superhero’s girlfriend, I mean—ex-girlfriend now, I suppose. It seems like he didn’t teach you some basic security stuff.” He looks around your apartment, studying it. “I even drank a coffee in your Hello Kitty mug yesterday—”

“Who the fuck are you?” you cut him off, your voice finally finding its strength.

He raises his hand mockingly, rolling his eyes. “Relax, I’m not here to hurt you.” He smirks, glancing at the mug on the counter. “Nice collection, by the way. Just here to talk”

"Talk?" you echo, incredulous. "You break into my apartment, drink my coffee, and now you want to talk?"

He smirks, leaning against the wall. "Yeah, something like that. Seems like your boyfriend left you in quite a state.''’

You cross your arms defensively. “I don’t need your pity.”

“Pity?” he chuckles. “No, I just find it interesting. You’re dating the city’s golden boy, and yet here you are, all alone. Doesn’t quite add up, does it?”

You narrow your eyes at him. “Why do you care?”

“Let’s just say I have a vested interest in your boyfriend’s activities. And you,” he says, pointing at you, “are a fascinating part of that equation.”

You scoff, still on edge. “Fascinating? What’s so fascinating about being left behind?”

He smiles, a glint of devilishness in his eyes. “Nothing you need to worry about. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Maybe even... enjoy the freedom a little.” He winks, heading back toward the window.

As he climbs out, he turns back one last time. “Oh, and lock your windows. You never know who might drop by.” With that, he disappears into the night, leaving you standing there, more confused and unsettled than ever.

You move to the window and lock it firmly, your heart pounding.

Your boyfriend had warned you that this might happen, and it happened at the worst time—when he wasn’t there. 

Honestly, you couldn’t sleep that night either, now worried that a fucking stranger could break into your apartment, and instead of just drinking a coffee, he might bake a whole cake in your kitchen or, worse, do something to you.

So, you do what a ludic person would do. You start packing an emergency bag and ask to sleep at your friend’s house, using the excuse that you’ve broken up with your boyfriend—when in fact, you were more scared than anything.

[...] 

More terrifying was when you needed to return home. 

You open your front door, putting the bag on the floor. Before you can turn around to close the door, a hand clasps over your mouth, and the door behind you closes. You feel a warm body pressing against yours as you close your eyes tightly. 

It’s your end, you think.

You don’t even dare to open your eyes. When the hand is removed from your mouth, all you can mutter is, “Don’t hurt me, please.”

You hear a scoff, and then you open one eye. The person takes his hood off, revealing the same guy from the window. 

“Are you stupid? Why would I want to hurt you? I’m not a coward.” He detaches from you, looking at your still-squeezed form. “Where were you? And you did a great job locking the other windows, but your laundry window was not locked.”

You can only stare at him, your heart racing. He rolls his eyes. “Can you stop being a pissy little girl? You’re a grown woman. I’ve told you I’m not going to hurt you, and if it comforts you, I won’t steal your mug collection either. Maybe some coffee powder—but, well, can you stop?”

You think you’re going crazy. Was all of this supposed to be normal? 

He rolls his eyes again and disappears into your kitchen. You take small, shy—and scared—steps toward the kitchen to find him using your coffee machine, watching the coffee brew. His arms are propped on the counter, and he turns his head to look at you. 

He sighs, seeing your still-compressed form, like you’re still scared of his presence.

“Seriously,” he says, straightening up. “I’m not here to hurt you. You need to relax.” He takes a mug from your collection and pours himself a coffee, casually leaning against the counter as if he belongs there.

“What do you want from me?” you finally manage to ask, your voice trembling.

He takes a sip of coffee, savoring it before answering. “Just checking in. Making sure you’re okay. Your boyfriend isn’t exactly around to protect you, is he?”

You glare at him. “I don’t need his protection. Or yours.”

He smirks, clearly amused. “Sure, keep telling yourself that.” He sets the mug down and steps closer, his eyes locking onto yours. “But here’s the thing—you’re involved now, whether you like it or not.”

You swallow hard, trying to hold your ground. “I don’t want any part of this.”

“Too late,” he replies, his tone serious. “You’re already part of it. So, you might as well get used to it.”

You begin to shiver as his words sink in. This is your life now, tangled up with heroes and villains. And there’s no going back.

He sighs, seeing the fear in your eyes. “Look, I know this isn’t what you signed up for. But you’re tougher than you think. Your boyfriend—ex-boyfriend, whatever—he’s not around, and that puts you in a vulnerable position.”

“You mean, you’re here to spy on me. To see if you can use me against him.”

He shrugs. “I'm here ensure you’re not caught in the crossfire. Believe it or not, I have some principles.”

You laugh bitterly. “Principles? Breaking into someone’s home and terrorizing them is principled now?”

He sets the cup down and steps closer. “I didn’t mean to scare you. But you need to be more careful. This world you’re tangled in—it’s dangerous.”

You stare at him, unsure whether to believe him. “And you’re what, my guardian angel now?”

He smirks. “Hardly. Think of me as a… concerned party. I don’t want unnecessary casualties.” “Stay out of trouble. Keep your head down.”

With that, he finishes his coffee and heads toward the window. “Remember, I'm not your enemy, but I'm definitely his. Don't make me your enemy too.”

"Wait!" you call out. He stops and turns around slowly, his expression curious. "W-who are you?" you stammer.

He tilts his head, a smirk playing on his lips. "Do you really want to know?" he asks, his tone dripping with mocking curiosity.

You nod, trying to keep your voice steady. "You’re practically living here. I should at least know your name."

He chuckles, a low, amused sound. "More like a roommate situation, huh? Alright, if you really want to know, you can call me Seungcheol. And if you’re genuinely interested in what I do, maybe I’ll take you to my HQ someday, show you my plans."

You grimace at his tone, which only makes him laugh harder. 

Before heading down the emergency stairs, he looks back at you. "Stay close, alright? I need to keep tabs on you. You’re a bit exposed out here." He winks and disappears, leaving you standing there, more confused than before.

Seungcheol—the window guy, as you’d come to call him—disappeared physically for some days, but his presence lingered in odd, unsettling ways. You started finding pieces of ripped paper around your house, each with a different message.

“Keep your windows locked.”

“Log out of your social media from your home computer.”

“Check your door lock twice before bed.”

“Don’t leave your spare key under the mat.”

And one particularly embarrassing note: “I know you miss your hero-boyfriend, but can you also hide your sex toys? I’m traumatized.”

The embarrassment lasts only a few minutes each time, but then you think, nobody asked him to keep coming into your house. Still, there was a strange sense of security in knowing he was keeping an eye on things, even if his methods were invasive and borderline creepy.

Days turn into a week, and the silence feels heavy. 

You find yourself almost missing the bizarre meetings. One night, as you’re cleaning up after dinner, you catch a glimpse of movement outside the window. You draw the curtains aside to find Seungcheol lounging casually on the fire escape, looking like he belonged there.

“Miss me?” he quips, flashing you a smirk.

You roll your eyes, opening the window slightly. “You really need to get a hobby, Seungcheol.”

“This is my hobby,” he says, slipping inside without an invitation. “Keeping tabs on you is surprisingly entertaining.”

“You know, you could at least pretend not to notice my vibrator,” you snap, half-joking, half-mortified.

Seungcheol grins, “Hey, it’s hard to miss when it’s just lying around. You could be more discreet.”

You huff in annoyance, continuing to clean up. He opens your fridge, rummaging around like he owns the place. “Any news?” you ask, trying to sound casual.

He casually bites into an apple. “Yep. One of his enemies is planning to invade your place tomorrow at 7:48 p.m. The exact time you get home from work.”

You spin around, eyes wide. “What?! What do I do?”

“I suggest you stay close to me,” he shrugs. “I can keep you safe, make sure no one uses you as a pawn.”

“You want me to trust you?” you ask, incredulous.

He raises an eyebrow. “Do you want to be safe, or do you want to have some alien freak shoving its tentacles down your throat?”

You give him an exasperated look. “I knew you’d have this reaction,” he says, shrugging. He places a flash drive on your kitchen counter. “Watch it yourself.”

You close your eyes, massaging your temples. You don’t know if you’re ready to see what’s on that flash drive, much less trust a stranger who claims to be your ex-boyfriend’s enemy. 

“I need you to leave. Even if he’s my ex, I still can’t do something like this.”

Seungcheol nods, looking up like he expected this. “Your boyfriend won’t be here to rescue you if that’s what you’re counting on.”

“How can you be so sure of that? I don’t even know you!”

“Because if your stupid boyfriend didn’t buy those superpowers, he’d be nothing. Without that silly red cape and the TV cameras, he’s just an insecure guy who wants to be seen. And— come on, he didn’t care about the girlfriend he had waiting at home. You think he cares about saving random people? Don’t be dumb.”

His words sting, and you feel like you’ve been slapped in the face. He nods negatively as he walks out again, leaving you standing there, the weight of his words sinking in. You don’t want to believe him, but deep down, you know there’s some truth to what he’s saying.

With a sigh, you look at the flash drive on the counter. 

The next day was a mess from the moment you woke up. You couldn't find your white shirt, and your baby liss was nowhere to be found. Running late, you had to leave without fixing your hair. 

Work was a blur of you staring blankly at your computer screen, your mind preoccupied with the fear that some tentacle monster might actually show up at 7:48 p.m.

Were you being stupid for believing a guy you met barely a week ago? Absolutely. But who wouldn't be a little suspicious?

As you stepped off the bus and walked along the sidewalk toward your building, your watch read 7:58 p.m. You glanced up at your window. The lights were off, and everything looked normal. No way a villain would get you, right?

"I knew he was lying," you mutter quietly to yourself, almost convincing.

But your conviction didn’t last long. A massive purple tentacle exploded through your living room window, sending concrete and bricks crashing to the street. Your eyes widened in disbelief. Was that a person in the middle of those giant tentacles? Were you homeless now?

"Are you gonna hop on or let these ugly tentacles suffocate you?" Seungcheol’s voice cuts through the chaos.

You didn’t need to look to know it was him. You turned to see him in his black outfit, waiting on his motorcycle. Your instinct was to kneel on the ground and cry about your now-destroyed apartment, but you didn't have time for that.

You sulked a bit before grabbing the helmet from his hand and hopping onto the bike, your hands wrapping uncertainly around his waist.

As Seungcheol sped off towards his HQ—or hideout, whatever it was—your tears started to flow. "My apartment... it's ruined. All my stuff, my mug collection, my unicorn pajamas I didn’t even get to wear yet," you whined into his back.

Seungcheol fought the urge to roll his eyes. "Seriously? We're running from a monster, and you're worried about unicorn pajamas?"

“Yes!” you sniffled. “They were so cute. And now I don’t even have a place to sleep. My place is ruined, and all my goods are probably destroyed.”

“Focus on staying alive first,” he said, trying to sound more patient than he felt. “We’ll deal with the rest later.”

“But my mugs… My unicorn pajamas…” you continued, your voice muffled against his back.

“Alright, alright,” he said, trying to placate you. 

Seungcheol had to concentrate to keep from crashing as he listened to you cry and whine about your lost belongings. He knew you were overwhelmed, and though it was annoying, he understood. Reaching his hideout, he finally stopped the bike and helped you off, letting you lean on him for support.

Your first instinct is to look around. It’s a large industrial loft, the walls made of bricks, and the long windows hidden behind some opaque plastic. 

The place seems to have only the essentials: a large bed with a vintage headboard, a couch, a TV. Turning around, you notice the kitchen has a coffee machine just like yours. 

Then your eyes widen as you spot familiar items: the white shirt you were looking for this morning, poking out of a huge black bag, a big box labeled 'mugs’ in bad calligraphy, your hair iron with the princess tape patch on the cord, emerging from another black bag. 

Several bags are sprawled on the floor, all looking ready to burst.

"M-my things!" you squeak as Seungcheol looks unbothered, though you can see the faintest hint of a smile at your happiness. You run to him, giving him a clumsy hug that he doesn’t reciprocate, before opening the bags.

"It was very difficult to bring all of your stuff," he says, trying to hide his amusement. "Can I know why you have three... inflatable flamingos all the same color?" he asks, clearly judging the quirky items he found while gathering your things from your dresser.

You don’t respond, too busy rifling through the bags like a kid on Christmas morning. 

You open another bag with a big smile on your face, which quickly fades when you see what’s on top: your vibrator, handcuffs, and lube. 

You widen your eyes and try to close the bag with an awkward smile, but it’s too late. Seungcheol turns his head to the side, taking a deep breath as if trying to pretend he wasn’t the one who had to gather your spicy stuff.

You clear your throat, standing up and brushing off your knees. “When did you get all of this? I mean—how did you do it so quickly?”

"Some friends helped me," he answers, watching your reaction. 

You widened your eyes, and he knew why. 

“Chill out, I packed your Christian Grey stuff myself,” he said, looking up as if remembering something. “And what's with that neon green, dildo? Seriously?”

You stuttered, your face flushed. “I-I didn’t use that, it was a gag gift!”

“Trust me, I don’t want to know,” he said, cutting you off with a furrowed brow.

“That’s… oddly considerate of you,” you admitted, still processing everything.

He shrugged again, “Don’t get used to it. I’m not a nice guy.”

“Thanks, Seungcheol.”

“Whatever,” he muttered, turning away. “Just don’t make a big deal out of it.”

You sighed, “Thanks, I guess. It’s just… embarrassing.”

“Don’t sweat it. I’ve seen worse,” he shrugged.

“Worse than a neon green dildo?”

He chuckled, “You’d be surprised.”

You point at the large industrial loft around you. “So, this is your place?”

"Not as fancy as yours, but, yes, it is," Seungcheol responds, shrugging nonchalantly.

You shake your head, still taking in the surroundings. "I wouldn’t call my place fancy. Just... more pink."

He chuckles, nodding. "Yeah, I noticed. You have a thing for unicorns and pastels."

You look around, taking in the mix of sparse furniture and personal touches. "Why do you have my stuff, anyway?"

He leans against the counter, arms crossed. "Had to make sure you had everything. Can't have you running back to your place and getting into trouble."

You shake your head, still in disbelief. "You really don’t look like a villain."

He scoffs, giving you a sideways glance. "That's because I don't have a red cape? You don’t look this naughty either. I discovered it in the worst way."

You try to slap his shoulder playfully, but he catches your hand with his quick reflexes, smirking as he lets go and starts walking toward the loft above. You follow him, curiosity getting the better of you.

“Different from your boyfriend, I don’t need muscle superpowers to be relevant,” he says, glancing back at you as he ascends the stairs.

You glance around as you reach the upper level, which is filled with computers, chemistry equipment, and some jackets thrown randomly around. "So, what exactly do you do here?"

"Let's just say I have my ways of keeping an eye on things," he replies, tapping on one of the computer screens. "Information is power, you know."

You nod slowly. "And what's your plan with all this power?"

He raises an eyebrow, amused by your question. "That depends. What do you think I should do with it?"

You let out a nervous laugh. "I'm not exactly an expert on villainous plots."

Seungcheol chuckles, shaking his head. "Relax, I'm not planning world domination. Just...taking care of some business."

You tilt your head, still trying to piece everything together. "And what kind of business would that be?"

He sighs, looking frustrated at you—but trying to be patient. "Let's just say there are a lot of things that need fixing, and sometimes you have to break a few rules to get it done."

You frown, thinking about his words. "And my ex-boyfriend...does he know about any of this?"

Seungcheol shrugs. "He knows I exist, but he doesn't know the details. Probably too busy flexing for the cameras."

You can’t help but smile. "Yeah, he’s definitely good at that."

Seungcheol looks at you seriously. "Look, I know this is a lot to take in, but trust me, it’s better you know the truth. You can’t go back to being ignorant."

"So, what do we do? I can't just hide forever."

Seungcheol sits on the edge of a desk, looking thoughtful. "You’re here because you’re vulnerable—"

"Vulnerable?" you interrupt, crossing your arms. "You make it sound like I’m helpless."

Seungcheol stops for a moment, looking at you blankly. 

"Think fast!" he says suddenly, throwing a sock ball in your direction. You instinctively step back, catching the ball, but your back overtakes the loft railing. 

Seungcheol gets up from his chair, moving swiftly to grip you tightly before you fall to the floor below. You go static as you look at him, his hands firm on your waist, grounding you.

"You're good at catching," he says, glancing at the sock in your hand. "But you need to have a better sense of space."

Your heart pounds, both from the near fall and his closeness. "What was that for?"

He releases you, but his eyes stay locked on yours. "Training. If you’re going to stay here, you need to be alert."

You nod. "Okay, but maybe warn me next time?"

He chuckles, stepping back to give you some space. "Where's the fun in that?"

You roll your eyes, tossing the sock ball back at him. He catches it effortlessly. "So, what’s the plan? How do I learn to protect myself?"

Seungcheol tilts his head, considering. "I don't know... Maybe some basic self-defense? For example, if i do this—" He moves quickly, throwing a punch towards you—not to hit, but to test your reaction.

You manage to dodge, but not gracefully. He smiles. "Not bad for a beginner. We'll keep working on that."

[...]

You still miss your apartment, and a lot of your things are still in bags, which you pick through only when you need something. You always wondered what really happened in movies when heroes destroyed the whole city during battles. Now, you’re experiencing it firsthand. Your apartment is being repaired by the building’s construction company, with help from insurance. So, more days living with Seungcheol.

It’s not bad. It’s strange, for someone used to being alone at home. He leaves at night, just like your ex-boyfriend, but spends more of his days in the loft—more than your ex-boyfriend ever did. 

He’s actually teaching you something useful. The two of you spar in the loft, not even needing to move furniture since there isn’t much. And he’s hard on you.

You support your hands on your knees, panting, while he looks untouched. "C’mon! Are you tired already?"

You straighten up, mocking his tone. "Unfortunately, my ex who fights around didn’t give me a preview of how to box."

He puts his hands on his hips. "Your boyfriend doesn’t know how to fight. He only has his powers to his advantage."

“You didn't watch what was on the flash drive, did you?” he asks.

You shake your head.

He sighs and asks you to come up. He sits you in his chair, in front of his computer, and opens a folder. There’s a video of your boyfriend inside a laboratory. It looks very old.

"I need more than just strength and flight," your boyfriend says in the video, addressing what looks like a scientist. "We’ve been studying this for years. My time has come."

“Are you sure? There’s no turning back,” the scientist asks.

“I’m sure. I can’t keep living this mediocre life,” your boyfriend replies.

“But what about the people around you? They’re at risk,” the scientist says.

Your ex-boyfriend's response breaks your heart, though you can’t deny it fits his recent arrogance. "I don’t care. I need this."

The scientist sighs and then injects several different colored serums into your ex’s body. He groans, and as he begins to levitate, the video blurs and turns off.

You stare at the blank screen, processing the information. Seungcheol leans back, giving you space.

"See what I mean?" he says. "He wasn’t thinking about you, or anyone else. Just himself."

“So, he chose this. He actually wanted this.”

Seungcheol nods. “Yeah, he did. It wasn’t some accident or noble cause. He was just desperate to be more than he was.”

You sit back, processing the information. “He used to be so different. I don’t even recognize him anymore.”

“That’s what power does to some people,” Seungcheol says, leaning against the desk. “It changes them.”

Seungcheol’s screens start to beep urgently, pulling his attention away from you. He walks calmly to the other side of the room to grab his jacket. The steady rhythm of his movements contrasts with the beeping noises filling the space. 

He’s about to leave again when he pauses, his back facing you.

You watch him, restless, pacing back and forth as your mind churns over the recent revelations. His peripheral vision catches your agitation. He glances sideways, noticing the anxiousness in your steps.

He moves towards the door, then hesitates and turns back. “If you need anything, just—”

“Yeah, I know. Just call you, right?” You finish his sentence, giving him a small, knowing smile.

He smirks, nodding. “Exactly. Stay put. I’ll be back soon.”

With that, he leaves the loft, the door closing behind him. 

You knew Seungcheol would arrive home late, and you needed to calm down. Unfortunately, the last bottle of wine was finished yesterday when you couldn't find anything else to drink with your popcorn. 

Sweets maybe? Well, a villain’s house would have sweets? No, just as you thought. The only thing left was a pack of cigarettes on the kitchen counter.

You find yourself on the rooftop of Seungcheol's loft, the cigarette smoke filling your lungs and burning your throat. You didn’t like the smell of cigarettes and coughed every time the smoke filled your lungs. 

But that’s what you had to dissolve a bit of your anxiety, your last moments with your ex replaying in your mind. So he never cared at all?

Suddenly, your cigarette is slapped out of your hand. You turn around to see your ex, his costume perfect, but his eyes deep and face scarred.

“This is what Seungcheol has taught you then? Aren’t you ashamed?” He sneers.

You open your mouth to answer, but he comes closer, making you flinch.

He scoffs. “What? You’re scared of me? Let me tell you something... He is the villain. And you’ve joined his side, my enemy, after all we had.” He spits the words out with venom.

Rage boils within you, making you feel not like yourself. “Seungcheol took care of me. If I were alone, I would be dead. You don’t know what kind of superpower this is.”

He grabs your arm, making you feel dizzy, your vision cloudy. The pain is intense and senseless.

“What? You thought a villain would help you? You’re fragile. You need attention so bad that I couldn’t even handle you.” You fall to the ground, the pain spreading through your body as you groan.

“You know what? If you think he’s going to be your enchanted prince, you’re wrong. So damn wrong. The chances of him wanting to kill you are greater than that stupid dream of yours—”

You hear an impact, and the dizziness and pain slowly dissipate. You breathe properly again. When you come back to your senses, you look up to see Seungcheol, fighting with your ex. Seungcheol is taking a beating, only advancing when your ex's power falters, like a lag.

You could leave sneakily, but was it right? Seungcheol literally protected you from your own ex, showed you his true colors, and taught you the best of himself. Even though he is cold and "cruel" as they say.

As you're thinking, a glass sound pulls you from your mind. It's an injection. 

You see your ex crawling desperately to get it. Seungcheol gives you an exasperated look, signaling for you to pick it up. 

You grab it, walking back as your ex roars for you to leave it. You clutch it in your fist and, in a moment of desperation, inject it into your leg.

Your ex widens his eyes. But the substance is too powerful for you. You fall again, the pain overwhelming you.

He laughs, but Seungcheol is on him, beating him relentlessly. The fight intensifies, Seungcheol’s blows becoming more furious. You can barely focus on their struggle, the pain in your leg is consuming your thoughts.

The injection burns through your veins, making you feel like you’re on fire. You clench your teeth, trying to endure it. Your ex's laughter turns into cries of pain as Seungcheol lands a particularly harsh blow.

Seungcheol’s eyes briefly meet yours, and you see the determination in them. He’s fighting for you, protecting you with everything he has.

Seungcheol pauses, turning his attention away from you as the hero rises once more, clearly summoning his last reserves of strength.

Seungcheol stands confidently, knowing he has a chance to defeat him—if only he weren't standing on the edge of the building. 

Unfortunately, he doesn’t possess flying superpowers. Instead, he grips the edge of the building with nothing but the strength of his fingers, looking up at the hero who towers above him.

Yet, Seungcheol has one special superpower, the reason he's considered the villain: the ability to listen to those who need help, like an echo in his mind. He hears the calls for aid and responds in his own way, without the expensive, extraneous superpowers the heroes pay billions for. 

Unlike them, who need to buy their abilities, Seungcheol was born with his. He helps those living on the margins of society, without seeking fame or recognition. He doesn’t want to appear on TV or in the news.

Inside the heroes' world, he is well recognized, but without the money and science they have.

Seungcheol has nothing in his favor. 

Yet, he still manages to help people. They can’t understand him. And hate can come easily to that which is too remembered.

His body can't manage more than this—more than his telepathy. 

If it could, he wouldn’t be in this situation. He’s going to end up like this. His death won’t be caused by a big octopus or a giant RoboCop, as other heroes did. But by a great show of charity. He would do it for any citizen, but the fact that it’s you makes him have no regrets at all.

Seungcheol’s fingers start to slip, and he knows his time is running out. The hero stands above him, a look of triumph on his face. But Seungcheol’s mind is calm, even serene. He’s made peace with his fate.

The hero moves closer, ready to deliver the final blow. But in that moment, Seungcheol’s telepathy kicks in stronger than ever. He hears the cries of the people he’s saved, their voices filling his mind.

He has always fought for those who couldn’t fight for themselves, without the need for glory or recognition. 

The world may see him as a villain, but he knows the truth. 

His life has been a quiet rebellion, a stand against the notion that only the powerful can be heroes. 

Seungcheol's mind becomes silent, and he can only hear your groans. His eyes close as he tries to hear from you again.

“Y/N?” he telepathizes, his voice entering your mind, velvet and deep.

You groan again, and he asks. “I’m here... are you alright, my love? Can you walk?”

The affectionate nickname makes your heart flutter. Seungcheol agonizes when the hero's steps on his fingers, but he agonizes more because he can't hear a proper response from you. Desperation sets in.

“Answer me, please. I’m not going to last,” he telepathizes again.

“Seungcheol...” he hears your voice and breathes out, relief washing over him. He looks down, watching the movement on the street below. It was too much of a drop to survive. His fingers were burning with pain.

“Seungcheol...” you call again. He shuts his eyes, clinging to the sound of your voice. “Let go,” you tell him. The words hit him like a jolt. He doesn’t understand. His arms tremble with the effort of holding on.

“Trust me, trust me, trust me.” He hears it like a whisper around his head. The conviction in your voice pierces through his fear. 

He loosens his grip, his fingers slipping from the edge.

The air envelops his body like a hug as he falls, the distortion from the speed making the street sounds blur into a cacophony. The only thing he can think of is how you’re going to live by yourself now.

As he falls, memories flash before his eyes. He remembers every face he saved, every life he touched, his quiet acts of heroism, every moment of your brief time together, and then, vividly, your face. 

He thinks of your smile, your laugh, the way your eyes light up when you’re happy. 

The moment Seungcheol hits the ground, he expects the pain, the end. Instead, he feels a strange warmth spreading through his body. He blinks, realizing he’s lying on a soft cushion of air, suspended just above the pavement. The hero stares down in disbelief.

Seungcheol’s body is gently lowered to the ground. He looks up to see you standing on the rooftop, your hand outstretched, eyes closed in fierce concentration. As his feet touch the ground, your eyes snap open, and you breathe out in relief. 

Before Seungcheol can react, you advance on the hero, the two of you disappearing in a blur of motion and light atop the building.

Blinding flashes illuminate the rooftop as Seungcheol scrambles to his feet, urgency driving him forward. He runs into the building, tripping on the flights of stairs in his haste. The sounds of the battle above echo down to him, and he pushes himself harder, every fiber of his being focused on reaching you in time.

Seungcheol bursts onto the rooftop again, his breath ragged and his heart pounding. The sight that greets him makes his blood run cold. 

Your ex-boyfriend lies lifeless on the floor, a pool of blood spreading beneath him. In your trembling hand, the hero’s heart reactor device glows faintly, now smeared with blood.

“Y/N!” Seungcheol shouts, rushing to your side as your knees give way, collapsing under the weight of what you’ve done. The powers from the injection still course through your veins, but your energy is completely spent. You tremble in his hands, your body feeling like it’s made of lead.

The weight of what you’ve done hits you like a ton of bricks. You stare down at the reactor in your hand, the blood smeared on your fingers, and a violent shudder runs through you. The metallic smell of blood mingles with the acrid scent of smoke, and it’s all too much.

“I never wanted it to end like this,” you whisper, your voice breaking. Your face is frozen in shock, eyes wide and unseeing as you try to process the magnitude of your actions. “I-I’ve killed someone.”

Seungcheol shakes his head, his grip on your shoulders firm yet gentle. “You did what you had to do,” he says, his voice low and steady. “He would’ve killed you, Y/N.”

You shake your head, tears spilling down your cheeks. “But it wasn’t supposed to be like this,” you insist, your voice trembling. “I didn’t want to become a killer.”

Seungcheol’s eyes soften, and he pulls you into a tight embrace, his warmth seeping into your cold, shaking body. “Listen to me,” he says firmly, his lips close to your ear. “You’re not a killer. You’re a survivor. He put you in this position, not the other way around.”

You cling to him, your fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt as you sob uncontrollably. The reactor slips from your grasp, clattering to the ground with a dull thud. “I just wanted to be safe,” you cry, your voice muffled against his chest. “I didn’t want any of this.”

“I know,” Seungcheol murmurs, stroking your hair gently. “I know, Y/N. It’s going to be okay.”

You pull back slightly, looking up at him through tear-blurred eyes. “How can you be so sure?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Because you’re strong,” he says simply, wiping a tear from your cheek with his thumb. “Stronger than you realize. And because I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

The sincerity in his eyes makes your heart ache. Despite everything, there’s a flicker of hope in his gaze that you can’t ignore.

Seungcheol brings you back to his loft, your body feeling heavy and numb. He helps you inside the shower, carefully removing your clothes. You sit on the floor, naked, as the warm water cascades over you, washing away the blood and grime. 

There’s no malice or ulterior motive in his actions—only a quiet, pure care. You stare blankly at the tiles of his shower, lost in your thoughts, while his hands work methodically, washing your hair and scrubbing away the blood stains from your skin.

You needed this. 

The side effects of the injection, the strain of using powers you didn’t fully understand, have left you weak. So weak that you need him to do something as simple as this for you.

Once you’re clean, Seungcheol wraps you in a fluffy towel, drying you carefully. He dresses you in one of his shirts, the fabric soft and comforting against your skin. 

He guides you to his bed, tucking you in. You sink into the mattress, the exhaustion pulling at you like a heavy blanket. Seungcheol sits beside you, watching you for a few minutes. His body aches from the fight, but his concern for you overrides his own pain.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

He nods, his eyes never leaving your face. “You need to rest. Let your body recover.”

You nod, closing your eyes. The events of the night replay in your mind, but there’s a strange comfort in knowing Seungcheol is there, watching over you. “You don’t have to stay,” you murmur, feeling a pang of guilt.

“I want to,” he replies softly. “Just sleep, Y/N. I’ll be here.”

As you drift off, the last thing you feel is the warmth of his hand holding yours, grounding you in the midst of the turmoil. The darkness of sleep pulls you under, but for the first time in a long while, you don’t feel completely alone.

He waits for you to fall asleep before quietly moving around the loft, gathering what’s left of your belongings. 

With quick, calculated motions, he loads his things, along with yours, into the trunk and backseat of his truck. The apartment, once filled with traces of both your lives, now stands empty, its furniture the only remnants of your presence.

When he looks at the empty space one last time, he takes a deep breath, then returns to the bedroom. Gently, he lifts you into his arms, careful not to disturb your sleep. 

You’re so exhausted that you don’t stir as he carries you to the truck. His eyes flicker to you now and then as he drives, taking the road that leads to the other side of the country.

Long hours later, the sun starts to rise, casting a golden hue over the landscape. You wake up, eyes still adjusting to the brightness of the day. You find yourself parked outside a roadside restaurant, the car silent. Seungcheol is nowhere to be seen. Sitting up, you notice a blanket draped over you and realize you’re fully dressed, not just in his shirt anymore.

You take a moment to gather your thoughts, fingers curling around the edges of the blanket. The sound of footsteps draws your attention, and you see Seungcheol approaching with a box of food in his hands. He opens the car door and slides into the driver’s seat, placing the food on the console between you.

“Hey,” he says softly, glancing at you. “How are you feeling?”

You blink a few times, trying to shake off the remnants of sleep. “Tired,” you admit, your voice still groggy. “Where are we?”

“We’re on the road,” he replies, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I thought you could use some breakfast.” He opens the box, revealing a variety of pastries, fruit, and a couple of sandwiches.

You nod, reaching for a piece of fruit. “Thank you,” you say, taking a bite and savoring the sweet taste. “For everything.”

He watches you eat for a moment before responding. “You needed to get away from there. It’s not safe.”

“I know,” you reply, your voice soft. “But where are we going?”

“Somewhere safe,” he answers, his tone reassuring. "Somewhere, they won’t find us.”

You look at him, studying his face. There’s a determination in his eyes, a resolve that gives you a sense of security despite the uncertainty of your situation. “Okay,” you say, trusting him.

He nods, his eyes softening. “Finish eating. We’ve got a long drive ahead.”

As you pass through small towns and sprawling landscapes, a sense of peace begins to settle over you. The rhythmic hum of the truck and the steady presence of Seungcheol at your side are comforting. 

You share the occasional snack with him, your fingers brushing against his lips, eliciting a small smile from him each time.

As the truck continues down the road, the cityscape starts to take shape on the horizon. Tall buildings stand proud, their windows reflecting the sun’s light. It’s a bustling place, full of life and opportunity.

 It’s everything you’ve been yearning for—a fresh start, a new chapter.

After you arrive, your legs stretch as you step onto the new asphalt. You look around, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings, and ask, “Where are we?”

Seungcheol smiles, a hint of mystery in his eyes. “I’m going to show you,” he replies, leading you towards a big, white house. The house stands in stark contrast to the urban scene around it, classic and serene.

You follow him inside, and immediately, you notice people dressed in white moving about with purpose. Some are tending to children, others to elders, each room filled with an atmosphere of care and compassion. It's a place of healing and sanctuary, you realize, a refuge from the chaos you’ve just escaped.

As you walk through the house, you reach a garden at the back. The same people in white are there, playing with the children and dogs, the air filled with laughter and joy. 

You notice a girl in white sitting by an easel, her fingers pressed to her temples. To your amazement, the brush on the canvas moves on its own, guided by her powers.

You stare in awe. “She’s painting without touching the brush,” you whisper, your voice filled with wonder.

Seungcheol nods. “Yes, she’s using her powers. This place is a sanctuary for people like her, like us. A safe haven where they can learn to control and use their abilities for good.”

You look around, taking in the peaceful surroundings, the sense of community and support. “It’s beautiful,” you say softly, feeling a sense of hope blossom within you.

The next stop is a small, vintage apartment where you and Seungcheol place your things. The walls are adorned with faded floral wallpaper, and the furniture has a charming, old-fashioned feel. You sit on the living room floor, surrounded by boxes, and trail off, lost in thought.

“So, you’re a hero, not a villain,” you murmur, looking up at Seungcheol.

He pauses, glancing at you with a thoughtful expression. “I guess it’s not that simple,” he says, sitting down across from you. “People see what they want to see. To some, I’m a hero. To others, I’m a villain.”

You nod, digesting his words. “But you saved me. You brought me here. That makes you a hero in my book.”

A small smile tugs at the corners of his lips. “I just did what needed to be done. Sometimes, the line between hero and villain isn’t so clear.”

You lean back, propping yourself up on your elbows. “It’s strange, you know? All this time, I thought I knew who the good guys and the bad guys were. But now… everything’s different.”

He nods, his eyes distant. “Life isn’t a simple story. It’s messy, complicated. People have layers, motives that aren’t always black and white.”

You turn to Seungcheol, who has laid himself out on the living room floor beside you. The gentle hum of the old radiator fills the silence between you as you finally ask the question that's been on your mind.

“Can I ask you something?” you say, glancing over at him.

He turns his head to face you, nodding slightly. “Sure. What’s up?”

“How did you meet me?” you ask, curiosity lacing your voice.

Seungcheol sighs, looking up at the ceiling. “It’s a bit of a long story,” he begins, his tone thoughtful. “I first heard you every single night in my head before I even knew where you lived. It started with your thoughts and feelings—your fears, your doubts. I heard them all.”

You blink, trying to process what he’s saying. “You heard me in your head?”

He nods. “Yeah. I didn’t know who you were at first, just that there was someone struggling. I could sense your pain and your frustration. It was like an echo in my mind.”

He pauses for a moment, then continues. “When I'vve found you, I started watching the movements in your apartment. I saw you and your boyfriend fighting—a lot. I saw the nights you were left alone...”

You shift uncomfortably, thinking about all the arguments, the hurtful words exchanged. “What did you see?”

“I saw things that were hard to watch. There were nights when your boyfriend would come home drunk, lashing out at you for no reason. I saw him bringing people over, strangers who didn’t have your best interests at heart.”

Your heart aches as you listen. “So, you were watching all of this?”

He nods. “I was. I needed to be sure of what was happening before I intervened. I couldn’t just act without understanding the full picture. He was involved in some dangerous activities, connections with people I didn’t want you to be near.”

He looks at you with a serious expression. “I knew I had to do something. It’s my job, in a way. The place I showed you before, is where people like me come from. We’re spread out across the country, helping those in need.”

You nod slowly, absorbing his words. “So, you felt like you had to save me.”

“Exactly,” he says softly. “It was more than just a job. It was a responsibility. When I saw how much you were suffering, I knew I couldn’t just stand by. I had to step in.”

As you lie there, processing everything Seungcheol has told you, it dawns on you that the man who once seemed so mysterious and distant wasn’t a villain at all. He was the one who sat on your window, smoking and wearing a black outfit, seemingly a shadowy figure. 

He was the one who risked falling from a building to ensure your safety, who gathered your belongings—even your mug collection, and your… dildo—before your apartment was destroyed by an alien.

He was the man who, despite the doubts and fears, saved your life and now laid by your side as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Seungcheol’s presence beside you, so unexpectedly comforting, makes you feel secure in a way you haven’t felt in a long time. His gaze meets yours, a question in his eyes as if trying to decipher the whirlwind of thoughts running through your mind.

Unable to hold back your emotions any longer, you roll over and drape yourself across him like a koala. The sudden weight makes him emit a funny gasp. You both end up laughing, the sound filling the room with warmth. He wraps his arms around you, reciprocating the hug with a soft giggle.

“What?” he asks with a playful smile, his eyes twinkling.

You look up at him, your heart full, and press a soft kiss on his lips. Seungcheol’s eyes flutter closed, and he melts into the kiss, holding your face gently as if he’s been waiting for this moment all along.

But then, he pulls back slightly, his expression thoughtful. "Wait, no, are you sure about this? I mean, you’ve just come out of a… complicated relationship.”

You can see the concern in his eyes, the careful consideration behind his words. “I am sure,” you say softly, pressing another kiss to his cheek. “You’ve been amazing. You’re not a villain, and you’ve shown me what it’s like to be cared for.”

You move to kiss his forehead, then his neck, making him giggle again, his laughter bubbling up despite the seriousness of the conversation. He closes his eyes, savoring each tender kiss, his heart racing with every touch.

“I guess I’m just worried,” he says, his voice a mix of hesitation and affection. “You’ve been through so much. I don’t want you to think that I’m just trying to fill a void or something.”

You shake your head, placing one last kiss on his lips. “You’re not just filling a void. You’re something real and true, and I can feel it.”

“Can you… feel it?” he asks.

You smile against his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to reassure him. “Of course I can,” you reply, your voice barely a whisper.

The moment your lips meet his again, you notice his reaction is less restrained this time. His arms tighten around you, pulling you closer as if he’s afraid you might disappear. His kisses grow more passionate, each touch of his lips filled with a desperate need to communicate everything he feels.

You can taste the sweetness of his affection, feel the way he melts into you, and you respond with the same intensity. Your hands explore the familiar contours of his face, as if memorizing every detail, every emotion he's conveying. 

His breath quickens, and you can feel the heat of his skin, the way his entire body seems to respond to you, to the connection that’s unfolding between you both.

He pulls away slightly, his forehead resting against yours, his eyes locked onto yours. “You make me feel things I didn’t think I could.”

You brush your lips against his once more, a soft, tender caress. “It’s because it’s real,” you whisper. “It’s something I’ve needed for a long time.”

[...]

If you ever thought your life would change drastically, you never imagined it would be like this. 

When Seungcheol left to handle his tasks for the night, it felt different. The house, though quiet, seemed fuller now.

His presence lingered in the way he had filled it with his energy, his routines, his little touches that made the space feel like more than just four walls. The absence of his constant presence was noticeable, yet somehow, it felt like a comfort.

You wandered around the house, touching things you hadn’t noticed before. There were small, personal details—like a collection of old vinyl records stacked neatly on a shelf, and a set of quirky, handmade coasters on the coffee table. They made the house feel lived in, like a real home.

In the kitchen, you found a note Seungcheol had left on the counter, scrawled in his familiar handwriting: “Pick a movie tonight. I’ll be back soon.” You smiled at the simple gesture, a small piece of normalcy in the midst of the whirlwind you’d been through.

When he arrives at the apartment, the warm aroma of dinner wafts from the stove. He glances around, noticing that the movie on the TV is paused at the very beginning. It’s strange that you’re not here; usually, you’d be curled up on the couch, waiting for him. 

His eyes sweep over the space, and he hangs his jacket on a dining chair, the soft thud of the fabric against the wood mingling with the hum of the refrigerator.

A sudden noise catches his attention—an “Ah!” from somewhere in the apartment. 

Seungcheol freezes, his heart rate quickening. He tilts his head, straining to hear again. The sound came from the bedroom. Curiosity and concern propel him forward as he moves cautiously toward the door.

Pushing the door open just a crack, he peeks inside. His breath catches in his throat as he takes in the scene before him. 

You’re sprawled out on the bed, your legs were spread open in a way that revealed everything. 

Your body glistens with a sheen of sweat, and you’re arching back, clearly horny. The vibrator, the very same one he had glimpsed in your old apartment—a sight that had piqued his curiosity—was now pressed tightly against your clit. 

He could see the pleasure etched across your face, the way you bit your lip and gripped the sheets. He hesitated at the doorway, not wanting to intrude but unable to tear his eyes away from the scene unfolding before him.

The sight is so intimate, so raw, that he feels a blend of emotions—desire, awe, and a sense of protectiveness. His initial impulse is to step in, to be there for you, but he’s also painfully aware of how private this moment is.

His own breath hitches as he wrestles with the decision of whether to interrupt or simply stand back. He knows this is a vulnerable part of you, one that you might not be ready to share with him just yet.

Seungcheol takes a deep breath, his desire is real as he steps fully into the room. The bulge in his pants is a constant reminder of just how affected he is by the scene unfolding before him. But he pushes past his own need, focusing on you.

He kneels beside the bed, careful not to make any sudden movements that might pull you from your reverie. His fingers, though trembling slightly, are gentle as he reaches for the vibrator. He eases it away from your clit, the sudden absence making you gasp, a sound that’s part surprise, part frustration.

You blink rapidly, trying to catch your breath as you process his presence. Your cheeks flush a deep red. Just as you begin to open your mouth, ready to speak or perhaps to protest, Seungcheol silences you with a touch.

Without a word, he positions the vibrator back against your wetness, the cool touch of it sending you screaming on your bed. Slowly, he guides it back to your clit, applying a steady pressure as he begins to circle it. 

His eyes are locked onto your every reaction, absorbing each tremor and gasp as if they were treasures.

The immediate pleasure that jolts through you is overwhelming. You clench his forearm, your grip desperate and needy as you roll your eyes back in pure, unfiltered sensation. The way he controls the vibrator, the way he’s so deliberately attentive to your body—it drives you wild.

The intensity of your arousal triples, the added thrill of Seungcheol’s touch making it feel like every nerve is on fire. You sob, the sound escaping from you as you struggle to stay grounded amidst the stimulation. 

Each circle of the vibrator on your clit feels like an eternity, stretching out the sensation to a nearly unbearable edge.

Seungcheol’s gaze never wavers from you. He watches you with an intense focus and tenderness, his own breath coming in uneven puffs as he fights to keep his own desires in check.

He’s controlling your pleasure with an expert touch, making sure that each movement is precise and perfectly tuned to your reactions.

He knows you’re on the brink, and he’s both savoring and prolonging this moment for you. 

The control he exerts is deliberate, his movements are carefully calculated to push you to the edge without letting you fall over just yet.

As your body writhes beneath his touch, Seungcheol’s expression softens. He can see how much you need this, how much his presence, his touch, is amplifying everything you’re feeling. It’s a heady blend of power and vulnerability, and he’s completely consumed by it.

As the waves of pleasure begin to crest, you feel your moans transforming into quieter, breathless gasps. Your body tightens, with every muscle pulling taut as you approach the brink of orgasm. 

It’s right there, just a heartbeat away, when Seungcheol suddenly pulls the vibrator away. The abrupt absence of its buzzing sends a shock through you, your body jolting as you let out a delayed cry of frustration.

Seungcheol doesn’t look at you. Rather, he sets the vibrator on the bedside table as if it were a routine, doing so with practiced ease. 

Then he gets to his feet and strips off his shirt, baring his chest. Your need is heightened by the sight of him, so masterful and totally devoted to you. You watch him, breathless and with wide eyes, while he dismisses your little cries of protest. 

He seems determined to show you something more personal than the toy could ever offer, judging by the steady, unwavering look in his eyes.

He says, taking off his belt, “I want to see you cum for me, not for a toy.” “I want to see you cum in my mouth,” he murmurs.

You swear you see your soul leave your body just like in a cartoon,with his words. He spreads your legs wide, putting himself between them. You can almost feel the need in your body quivering with anticipation.

His mouth feels like fire when it first touches your clit; the buzzing vibrator has made you more sensitive. You gasp, your hips jerking involuntarily. His tongue is moist and warm as it hungersily probes every part of you.

You let out a deep moan as he laps at your entrance, gathering your slick and spreading it over your clit.

He sucks gently, then more firmly, his tongue flicking over your most sensitive spot in a way that has you writhing beneath him. Every nerve ending in the body is hyperaware of intense pleasure.

Your hips are held in place by Seungcheol's hands as he consumes you. You can feel the strength in his hold, the way his fingers dig into your skin just enough to anchor you. His eyes glance up at you, watching your reactions, ensuring he’s giving you exactly what you need.

“Seungcheol,” you gasp, your voice shaky. “I’m so close.”

His response is a deep hum against your clit. He intensifies his efforts, his tongue moving faster, his lips sucking harder. Your hands fly to his hair, fingers tangling in the strands as you hold on for dear life.

Every muscle in your body tightens, your breath coming in short, sharp bursts. He doesn’t let up, his focus entirely on you, pushing you closer and closer to the edge.

When your orgasm finally crashes over you, your back arches off the bed, a loud moan escaping your lips. Seungcheol continues to lick and suck, drawing out every last bit of your pleasure, his eyes locked on your face as you come undone.

You take a deep breath, your vision slowly clearing, and catch sight of Seungcheol gripping his cock through his boxers. The outline looks thick and big, making your mouth water at the sight of it.

“Seungcheol,” you murmur, your voice still shaky from the intensity of your orgasm. His eyes meet yours, dark and round.

“Yes?” he asks, his voice husky.

You reach out, your hand trembling slightly as you press your palm against the bulge in his boxers. He inhales sharply, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment as you touch him.

“I want to make you feel good too,” you say, your voice gaining strength.

He groans softly, his restraint slipping. He helps you pull his boxers down, his erection springing free. It looks even more impressive without the fabric, flushed, throbbing, and you can’t help but lick your lips in anticipation.

You lean forward, taking him into your hand, feeling the warmth and the weight of him. He watches you, his breath hitching as you stroke him slowly.

“You’re so big,” you whisper, looking up at him.

He chuckles, the sound low and rough. “And you’re so beautiful.”

You smile. Leaning down, you place a soft kiss on the tip, tasting the salty precum. His reaction is immediate, a shudder running through his body as he groans your name.

Encouraged, you take him deeper into your mouth, your tongue swirling around the head. His hand finds your hair, not pushing, just holding you gently as you work him with your mouth.

“Just like that,” he breathes, his voice thick with pleasure. “You’re doing so well.”

You hollow your cheeks, taking him deeper, feeling the stretch in your jaw. His size is a challenge, but you’re determined to make him feel as good as he made you feel. His groans and gasps spur you on, each sound a reward for your efforts.

You bob your head, taking him as deep as you can, your hand stroking the base where you can’t reach. His hips begin to move, a slow, careful thrust that shows how close he is to losing control.

“Y/N, I’m close,” he warns, his voice strained.

You look up at him, your eyes locking with his as you continue your movements, letting him know without words that you want this. He curses softly, his grip on your hair tightening just a bit.

One thing he didn’t notice was your sneaky hand grabbing the forgotten vibrator on the bedside table. With a naughty grin, you hold the base of his cock to keep it still, then turn the vibrator on and press it against his length while your mouth sucks on his tip.

Seungcheol lets out a deep grunt, propping himself up on his elbows, his eyes closing tightly. “You little—” he curses, his voice strained. Your smirk widens at his reaction, the vibrations traveling through his body, making him shudder.

“Who’s the villain now?” you tease, your tongue swirling around the sensitive head of his cock.

His response is a strangled moan, his hips jerking slightly into your mouth. “You... you’re the villain here,” he groans, his hands gripping the sheets. “Fuck!”

The combination of your mouth and the vibrator makes his body tense. You can feel him throbbing in your hand, his muscles tightening as he gets closer to the edge.

You increase the intensity, your hand moving the vibrator up and down his length while your mouth continues its assault on his tip. His breathing becomes ragged, and he’s practically panting now, his moans growing louder with each passing second.

“Y/N, I’m gonna—” he chokes out, his voice desperate.

You let go of his tip, a knowing smirk playing on your lips as you realize you’re giving him a taste of his own medicine. The vibrator still buzzes in your hand as you reach for his cock, straddling him and slowly sinking down. 

The sensation is electric—your drenched, sopping cunt engulfs him almost like a vacuum, drawing a desperate moan from his lips. His eyes flutter shut, and you can tell he’s loving it just as much as you are by the way his face contorts.

When you bottom out, Seungcheol squirms beneath you, his hands gripping your hips. He reaches for your wrist and places the vibrator on your clit, the sudden jolt of pleasure making you clench around his length. 

His moan mingles with a teasing smile, his eyes dark with lust. If he wasn’t a villain before, he definitely looks like one now.

You ride his cock in circles, the vibrations on your clit making your body curl inward, your nails digging into his abdomen. The pleasure is overwhelming, your breaths coming in short, ragged gasps as you move faster, chasing the high that’s just within reach.

His grip on your hips tightens, guiding you as you move. “That’s it, baby,” he growls “Just like that.”

Seungcheol sneaks a hand to the vibrator and turns it to the highest level. You grunt, throwing your head back as the intense vibrations radiate through your entire body. He can feel them inside you too, the added stimulation making him groan.

“Fuck, Seungcheol!” you cry out, your voice shaking as you jump up and down on his cock. Your pussy meets his length and then his base, the sound of skin slapping echoing in the room.

“Yeah, take it all, baby,” he growls, his eyes locked on yours. “Your pussy is so fucking tight around me.”

You moan louder, the dirty talk driving you wild. “Tell me more,” you gasp, craving more of his words, the filthier, the better.

He thrusts up into you, his own pleasure building as he watches you ride him. “You love this, don’t you? Being my little slut, taking my cock so well,” he says, his voice strained with the effort of speaking through his moans.

“Yes! Oh god, yes!” you reply, your movements becoming more frantic. “I love it, Seungcheol. I love being— Fuck!”

He grins. “You’re so fucking wet for me. Look at you, bouncing on my cock like a desperate little whore.”

You shiver at his words, your body responding eagerly. “Shit, Seungcheol, you feel so good inside me,” you pant. “I want to cum all over your cock.”

“Do it, baby,” he encourages, his voice rough. “Cum for me. Show me how much you love it.”

“I’m gonna cum again, Seungcheol,” you gasp, riding him faster. “I want you to cum with me.”

“Fuck, yes,” he grits out, his hands sliding up to your breasts, squeezing them. “Cum for me, baby. Let me feel you.”

“Cum inside me,” you moan, your nails digging into his chest. “Fill me up, Seungcheol.”

He thrusts up hard, matching your frantic pace. “You want my cum? You want me to fill you up?”

“Yes, please,” you beg, leaning back to get a better angle, driving him deeper. Your voice breaking with need. “I need it, Seungcheol. I need your cum.”

His grip on you tightens, and you can feel him getting close. “You’re gonna get it,” he promises, his voice rough. “I’m gonna fill you up so good, baby.”

Seungcheol presses the vibrator harder against your swollen clit, and you convulse on him, your body shaking uncontrollably from the combined sensations. 

“Fuck,” he growls, “You’re creaming all over my cock. Look at you, so fucking soaked.”

You moan loudly, barely able to respond as the vibrations and his cock drive you wild. “Yes, Seungcheol,” you gasp, your voice trembling. “I’m so wet for you.”

He chuckles darkly, his eyes locked on yours as he continues to thrust upward, hitting every sensitive spot inside you. “Hm… The way you’re dripping all over me. I can feel every drop.”

Your nails dig into his shoulders as you bounce harder, trying to chase the overwhelming pleasure. “I can’t stop cumming,” you whimper. “It’s too much.”

Seungcheol’s breathing grows ragged, his gaze fixed on the way your pussy pulses around him. “That’s right. Let go for me. I want to see you lose control. You’re such a fucking mess for me.”

The pressure of the vibrator against your clit makes you cry out. “I’m cumming so hard,” you moan. “I can’t handle it.”

He grunts, his voice deep and raw. “That’s it, baby. Cream all over my cock. I love how you’re losing it. I’m gonna make you cum so fucking hard.”

Your eyes roll back. “Seungcheol,” you cry out, your body arching and trembling. “I’m gonna—”

He groans as he feels your inner muscles clench around him, the vibrations making every nerve in your body explode. “Yeah, let it all out,” he commands. “Show me how much you fucking need me.”

You convulse one last time, your vision blurring as the orgasm washes over you. Seungcheol holds you tightly, his cock still buried deep inside you as he continues to grind against your clit, making sure you get every last ounce of pleasure.

Seungcheol wastes no time, flipping you over onto all fours like you're a rag doll. The sudden shift leaves you breathless, your body pliant and obedient to his every move. He quickly turns the vibrator off and tosses it aside, not caring where it lands. His hands find your ass, squeezing and fondling your cheeks.

Without missing a beat, he thrusts his cock back inside you, abusing your sweet spot with relentless precision. You feel the sting of your skin meeting his pelvis with each strong thrust.

You bite down on the pillow, muffling your sobs as your body trembles beneath him. The orgasm still pulses through you, but now Seungcheol is fucking you through it with a ferocity that has you seeing stars.

His grip tightens on your hips, one foot propped up on the mattress to give him more leverage. The bed creaks under you, the mattress springs creaking.

His moans become whiny and throaty. You can feel him getting closer, his cock twitching inside you with every thrust, and the sight of the white ring around his shaft driving him feral.

Summoning strength you didn't know you had, you lift your head and glance over your shoulder. You need to see his 'bad boy' posture crumble.

Seungcheol's face is a picture of raw emotion, his eyes squeezed shut, his mouth open in a silent cry. His expression is utterly shattered, as if he's about to break down and cry like a boy. 

The sight of him like this, so helpless and undone, makes you squeeze harder around him. The reaction is immediate—Seungcheol's eyes roll back, and his hips slam into yours, grinding deep as he reaches he orgasms. 

You feel the warmth of his cum filling you completely. He groans as he cums harder than ever before, his hips twitching with each spurt. The room is loaded with the sounds of his heavy breathing and the wet, obscene noises of your bodies joined together.

He stays buried inside you for a moment, savoring the sensation of your bodies connected, his cum still dripping from where he's filled you to the brim.

Seungcheol sleeps soundly, like a baby, his face peaceful and unburdened. In that moment, it doesn't matter who he is or where he is; his mind is completely consumed by thoughts of you. 

The room is quiet, the only sound being your synchronized breaths. Exhausted and spent, you don't even have the strength to clean up. You sleep without a care, even as his cum slowly drips down your thighs.

[...]

Morning breaks gently, the soft light of dawn seeping through the curtains. Seungcheol stirs, his senses gradually returning to him. But something feels off. He blinks his eyes open, expecting to see you lying beside him. Instead, he’s met with a sight that jolts him fully awake.

You’re floating. 

Your body is hovering a few inches above the bed, suspended in mid-air. Your eyes are wide with shock, mirroring his own as you both take in the surreal scene.

“Seungcheol,” you whisper, your voice tinged with panic. “Lower me down.”

He scrambles out of bed, his mind racing to process what he’s seeing. Without hesitation, he reaches out, his hands gently guiding you back down to the bed. The moment your body touches the mattress, the floating sensation ceases, leaving you both staring at each other in stunned silence.

You sit up slowly, your hands trembling slightly as you brush your hair back. “Wasn’t the injection supposed to last only for a few hours?” you ask.

Seungcheol, still healing from the sight of you floating, nods slowly. “Yeah, that’s what they said. But…maybe there’s more to it. Maybe it’s affected you in ways we didn’t expect.”

“So, does this mean you can fuck me while I'm floating in mid-air?”

Seungcheol's eyes widen, his cheeks flushing a deep red. He laughs, a surprised sound escaping his lips as he runs a hand through his hair, clearly caught off guard by your audacity.

[felinecyan]

Perfectly Fine

[Keigo Takami x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: Hawks plays off that everything is “perfectly fine,” but you know better than to believe him.

WC: 2186

Category: Hurt/Comfort, Soft!Reader, Slight Angst

I don’t know why I’m so obsessed with Hawks and angst, I blame Conan Gray being stuck in my head 24/7, but here you go! 😀👍

『••✎••』

You knew he wasn't okay.

You saw him every day. You spent more time with him than anyone else in his life. He had always been so bright and so positive that it was jarring when you realized just how exhausted he truly was.

He tried. He tried so hard. He was smiling and making jokes like normal. It was so hard not to get caught up in his infectious positivity. But you knew him well enough to see through it all.

And his eyes said it all.

They weren't as bright and golden as they normally were. They looked dim. The dark circles underneath were a clear indication that he hadn't been sleeping well lately—or at all.

This was the one thing you absolutely despised about Keigo. His independence was a good aspect to have for a pro-hero, but not when it was detrimental to his own health.

He was always doing things on his own. He was a people pleaser, so of course, he didn't want to ask for help. It was his problem, so he'd handle it himself.

And you wished you could just knock some sense into that bird brain of his.

The last straw was when he came home in the middle of the night, completely disheveled, and collapsed on the couch.

It wasn't uncommon for him to come home late, and you were usually already asleep, but tonight was different. Tonight, you were still awake.

And it was almost 3 am.

You had heard him enter the house. You were about to get up to greet him, but his heavy footsteps had paused at the doorway. The silence continued for a few seconds until you heard him stumble and collapse onto the couch.

You got up immediately and rushed into the living room. Your heart broke at the sight of him.

He was sitting on the floor with his back on the couch. He had taken off his jacket and boots. His wings were limp, and the feathers were ruffled and messy. His head was in his hands, and his hair was an absolute mess.

"Keigo," you whispered, walking up to him.

You had a million questions going through your mind, but you were also worried he was hurt, so you decided to keep it simple.

"Are you okay?"

He didn't move. Not even his wings.

He did speak, however, but you wished he hadn't.

"Perfectly fine."

The words were like poison. His tone was so cold, so dark, so unlike him. You hated it. You had to force yourself not to recoil in disgust.

Just as he said those words, he made himself even worse by letting out a dry, humorless chuckle. It was so unnatural and wrong coming from him.

It scared you. It angered you. You couldn't understand how he could be like this.

You knelt down in front of him, placing your hands over his.

"Keigo," you murmured. "I’m begging you. Please don't do this."

"Do what?" His eyes met yours, completely focused. It was almost unnerving. "What am I doing?"

"You're pushing me away," you stated, trying to keep your voice from cracking. "Again."

His gaze lingered for a few moments before his eyes trailed to the floor. He let out a sigh, sounding almost irritated.

"I told you, I'm fine," he muttered, his expression hardening. "You should get some sleep."

His tone was much harsher than before, and it was beginning to frustrate you.

"I can't do that," you whispered.

"Why not?"

"Because I can't, Keigo," you said, your voice rising. "You make it so… so difficult for me to just sit back and watch you do this. You keep saying that everything is fine, but it isn't. It's not. You know it's not."

He was silent, and you were beginning to think that he was refusing to respond to you.

"You've been coming home at weird hours, and you don't even try to hide the fact that you're exhausted. Your eyes have bags under them, and your wings are a complete mess. You look so pale, Keigo."

"I’m—"

"If you say you're fine one more time," your voice was trembling, and your eyes were starting to burn. "I swear, I will throw myself out of this window."

That made a small smile creep onto his face. It wasn’t genuine, but it was a start.

"As much as I love pancakes, you know I wouldn’t let you go through with that," he said, his tone becoming lighter.

You didn't hesitate.

"Then why are you making me go through with this?"

You didn't miss the small flinch he did. If you’d been in this situation a couple of years ago, you would’ve missed it.

But not anymore. You knew him better than anyone.

"We’re supposed to be partners, remember? You’re a harder book to read, Keigo, and I’m sorry I’m too easy for you, but we should be able to trust each other."

He only looked down and let out a sigh. He was trying so hard to keep his composure, but his emotions were beginning to break through.

You reached forward and gently placed your hand on his cheek, turning his face so he would look at you.

"And if something is bothering you, you should want to tell me. But I can’t help but feel like I'm not good enough to be someone you can confide in because if you did, then maybe you wouldn't look like this right now." You brushed a lock of his golden hair away from his forehead.

He looked so tired. So defeated.

And he was. You could tell by the look in his eyes that he was struggling with himself. It was as if he were weighing his options.

Stay silent or talk to you.

Stay strong or admit his weakness.

You wanted him to choose the latter. You needed him to choose the latter. If he was going to keep pretending everything was fine, your heart couldn’t take it.

A moment of silence passed, and then two, and then three. It was like an eternity had gone by.

Then, finally, the room was filled with his deep, shaky exhale. The environment changed. The air was thicker. You felt the tension and the stress and the sadness.

"I'm not the person you deserve."

It was such a simple phrase, but you were stunned. He sounded so broken, and you didn’t understand why.

"I don't deserve you," he repeated, his voice barely a whisper. “I never did."

You were just speechless. You were expecting his troubles to be something along the lines of work or the Hero Public Safety Commission. It probably still is, but you weren’t expecting him to feel… insecure about himself.

"That’s…" You shook your head. "No, Keigo, that's not true. Why would you think that?"

"Why wouldn't I think that?"

He didn't wait for your response.

"I'm too focused on being a hero," he started, his expression hardening again. "I'm always out. I'm never here. Sure, I kidnap you and make you my hostage every once in a while, but even then, I'm always thinking about work. Always thinking about how I can save more people. I'm always busy, and when I'm not, I'm exhausted."

His hands tightened into fists.

"You deserve someone who can be here with you all the time. Someone who can take the time to actually appreciate you, not just a text here and there, or a quick phone call, or a stupid note. You deserve someone who doesn’t have to leave the house before the sun even rises."

Your eyes were beginning to water, and you tried not to sniffle, but it was becoming more and more difficult to control yourself.

"You deserve a life where you can relax. You deserve someone who you know is always going to be there when you need it. I can't be that for you, and it's frustrating because I really wish I could."

"Oh, Takami," you whispered, pulling him towards you.

His arms wrapped around your waist, and his face was buried in the crook of your neck. He was holding onto you as if he were hanging on for dear life.

"I hate being like this." His voice was muffled, but you could still hear the disgust in his tone.

"Like what?"

"So pathetic," he grumbled. "I hate acting like a kid. Like an immature, needy little… little child."

He had trouble getting the last word out. You couldn't tell whether it was because he was frustrated or ashamed, or both.

"Hey," you whispered, running your fingers through his hair. It seemed to always soothe him. "It’s not immaturity, and it definitely is not childish. It’s just being human."

You could feel him let out a long, deep exhale.

"You are the Number 2 Pro-Hero. You're a very busy man. I knew it then, and I know it now. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to be with you."

You paused, taking a deep breath.

"Yes, sometimes I get lonely, and I miss you, and it sucks. Sometimes, I want to lock you in the house and not let you leave until the end of the world, but that wouldn't be fair to your fangirls.”

That earned a small chuckle from him.

"And it wouldn't be fair to all those innocent people who need you too. I don't like having to share you with the entire city, but that's just the way it is, and it's something I knew I had to get used to."

His arms squeezed around your waist. You felt his warm breath on your neck, which made you shiver slightly.

"And it's not your fault, either. We will have times like these, where you're too busy, and we won't see each other for a while, but at the end of the day, I'm still going to be waiting for you. At the end of the day, we’ll be perfectly fine."

"What a sap," he mumbled, though you could hear the smile in his voice.

"Hey! I'm trying to be romantic!" You playfully smacked his shoulder. "Be grateful."

He chuckled and pulled away from the embrace. You didn't want him to at first, but when you saw his expression, you smiled.

He was grinning. He was finally genuinely happy. There was a twinkle in his eye, and his wings were perked up. His feathers were starting to look much cleaner and fluffier. He was starting to look like his old self.

"I'll make a mental note of that," he replied, a mischievous smile tugging at his lips. "You are the cutest sap ever."

"Shut up." You rolled your eyes and let out a laugh. "Go to bed, bird boy."

"Wait, wait, wait, hold on," he said, holding his hands up. "You're not going to give me a good night kiss?"

You scoffed.

"And you say you’re not childish."

"No, seriously."

Before you could ask him what he meant, he grabbed your waist and pulled you onto his lap. Your arms instinctively went around his neck, and you squealed and caught off guard.

"Hey!" You protested, trying to glare at him, but it was hard to do when he was looking at you with such adoration.

"C'mere," he hummed, resting his forehead against yours. "Let's see how good of a kisser you really are."

"Okay, no, let's not," you said, leaning away from him. "That was awful. That was worse than awful."

"Oh, c'mon!" He chuckled, his eyes full of amusement. "I've been waiting to use that for ages."

"Well, don't," you said, shaking your head. "That just made me want to turn into a pancake even more."

"It’s too bad we don't have syrup," he joked, giving you a quick wink. "Guess I'll have to improvise."

"That's it," you said, trying to push him away, but he only laughed and pulled you closer.

"Stop trying to avoid the inevitable, darling," he murmured, his eyes meeting yours.

"Please don't say anything else," you begged, your face growing warm. "Please. I'm not kidding, Takami."

"Neither am I."

And this… This was what everything was worth.

Keigo looked so content. He was happy. He was relaxed. He wasn't thinking about anything but this moment. He wasn't overthinking things. He wasn't forcing himself to stay positive.

He was just being him, finally. The rest of the night the discussion wasn’t brought up again, and it didn’t need to. You both knew exactly what the other was thinking… feeling. And sure, there’s no doubt there’ll be another time when he will be stressed out again, overworking himself and pushing himself too hard, but you would be there to pull him back down.

You would be there to remind him that everything would be okay and that no matter how hard he tries to fix it all on his own, you would simply remind him that he doesn’t have to do that anymore.

He doesn’t need to keep hiding behind that smile; the only smile he should ever have is the real one.

The one where he truly is perfectly fine.

[gdinthehouseee]

Born To Die (CHAPTER 2): KWON JI-YONG x READER

summary: returning to work, you're bombarded with questions but your closest co-worker manages to save you from it all and you grow even closer. you finally get the mystery man's name and everything feels normal again... so why does it still feel like you're being watched?

word count: 5300

tags: mystery, light angst, slow burn

prev. chapter ⛥⛥ next chapter

The moment you walk into the office, the usual hum of activity is accompanied by an unusual tension in the air. Your colleagues are all whispering to each other, glancing at you in between conversations, and you immediately feel their eyes on you as you pass by. You’ve only been back for a few minutes when your boss approaches you with a brisk pace before you can even reach your desk. His tone is light but there’s an underlying curiosity that you can’t escape.

"So, how was the masquerade?" He asks, a playful grin on his face. "Any good stories for us, or were you just there to rub elbows with the high society crowd?”

You pause, blinking as your mind whirls. His question is innocent enough, but it opens the floodgates to all the things you still can’t quite wrap your head around—the charismatic man in the silver mask, the heavy air of the night, the feeling of being watched at every turn, even the location itself. 

You force a smile and casually shrug. "Oh, you know, just a low-level influencer stunt. It was one of those things, mostly for show. Nothing too interesting.”

“An influencer stunt?” 

“Yeah…”

“I thought it was more than that—no secret meetings or exclusive interviews? I figured there’d be more than that.”

"Yeah, I was expecting something more too, but honestly, it was all just smoke and mirrors. A lot of masks, a lot of flashy people pretending to be more important than they were.”

The words come out smoother than you expected, and they’re easier to say than you thought. You don’t even have to think twice about how you’re phrasing it. Why is it so easy to cover up something that’s clearly gnawing at you? Why are you covering up in the first place? And why can’t you stop yourself? 

Wanting to end the conversation, you step towards your desk while he processes what you said. But the questions don’t stop. The noise of the office surrounds you, but your thoughts are elsewhere. You glance down at your phone, as if it might save you. It was supposed to be just one night—a little change up to how you usually spend them, stretched out in the living room, re-watching your favourite show for the billionth time. But it’s not just one night, is it? You can’t shake the feeling that something important happened. But why won’t you let yourself admit it? Why won’t you tell anyone?

You’re seconds away from leaving early and working from home, when a familiar voice cuts through your colleagues’ nonsense—

“Did someone die… or are you all just fishing for gossip?” 

Youngbae. 

He’s been working here for longer than you have, and he was the first to make you truly feel welcome in this place. You don’t exactly hang out together or anything, but his presence is a relief. A saviour even. While the rest of your team breathes caffeine and deadlines, Youngbae always feels like he’s just come back from a peaceful retreat.

“She’s not telling us anything about that weird party,” someone from across the room piped up.

“You actually went?” Youngbae turned to you, a curious smile and a quirked brow on his face. 

“Article potential… it wasn’t anything special. Influencer stunt.” You shrugged again.

He keeps his gaze on you and hums before turning to the others, tone light but firm. “Well, sounds like it was boring. Let her breathe, yeah? You’re all acting like she came back from war.”

A few chuckles. A few eye-rolls. But the moment breaks just enough that the circle disperses—some off to refill their coffee, others back to their screens, the energy of interrogation dying down.

You glance up at him with barely concealed gratitude. “Thanks for that.”

Youngbae pulls up the chair at the desk next to yours, tossing his bag down and opening his laptop. “No problem. You looked like you were one more question away from setting the printer on fire.”

You laugh under your breath. “I might’ve.”

“Just so you know, your excuses need work.”

“Huh?” 

He shoots you an amused look. “Influencer stunt? Really?” 

“Not you too…” you groan. “Don’t tell me you ushered them away just so you can hear about it first?” 

“So you admit something did happen?” He looks back up at you, leaning forward, and revelling in his little ‘gotcha’ moment. 

You roll your eyes. “Why do you care so much?” 

“I don’t,” he said as he then raised his hands in mock surrender. “I’ll call it even if lunch is on you.” 

“Wow, okay.” You scoff out a laugh, and he joins in on the laughter. 

He knew better than to keep prying. It was pretty obvious something had happened, if anything he boiled it down to meeting someone interesting, which wasn’t all that far from the truth. But he wasn’t the type to make you uncomfortable just for the sake of intel.

The two of you sat in a relaxed silence, losing yourselves in your respective work. The hum of the office is steady and familiar—keyboard clicks like rainfall, the low whirr of the printer, someone’s too-loud phone conversation from the corner no one ever uses for actual privacy. You stare at your monitor, squinting slightly against the harsh blue glare, your fingers hovering over the keys, unmoving. Your coffee's gone cold, half-forgotten on your desk, right next to your half-scribbled notes from the last editorial meeting. You pick up your pen, tap it twice against the pad, and try to recall the article you’re meant to be writing. Something about startup culture. Or was it an expose on digital branding?

“Hey,” Youngbae says gently, his voice cutting through the static in your brain. “You planning to eat today or just feeding off the existential dread?”

You shake your head, as if trying to clear it. “What time is it?”

“Almost one,” he replies, amused, already slipping a folder back into his bag. “You’ve been zoned out all morning. I thought maybe you transcended this realm.”

You offer a tired smile, just as he fumbles with a stack of papers and winces.

“Shit,” he mutters, pulling his hand back. A thin, bright line blooms across the pad of his finger.

You reach for the tissues on your desk, handing him one. “Papercut?”

“Yeah. The deadliest wound known to office workers,” he jokes, holding the tissue to his finger.

“Maybe the paper knew you were making fun of it.” You lightly mocked. 

“Wouldn’t be the first time I was cursed by a spreadsheet,” he grins before discarding the tissue. “Come on, I know a place that just got their new spring menu.”

You pick up your bag and follow him out. The air outside is warm, a spring breeze cutting between buildings, brushing across your skin. You walk in silence for a while, surrounded by city sounds—footsteps, distant horns, someone yelling into a phone.

“You okay?” Youngbae asks as you wait for the light to change.

You nod. “Yeah. Just… sleep-deprived, I think.”

He watches you for a second, thoughtful, like he can sense there’s more you’re not saying. But then he just offers a small smile and nudges your shoulder with his. “Does food still fix everything?”

You smile back. “Yeah. Still does.”

The two of you cross the street together, and you find yourself grateful for the realness of it, the weight of your shoes on concrete, the ordinary hum of the world—the simple comfort of someone who doesn’t ask too many questions. You both duck into a small restaurant just around the corner from your agency, the kind of place that smells like buttered toast and coffee grounds, all chrome edges and cracked vinyl booths. After ordering, you sit across from Youngbae near the window, watching the street while listening to your co-worker.

He’s mid-story about how he accidentally sent his mother a meme meant for his fiancée when he pauses, grinning. “I’m getting married soon, by the way. Did I tell you that?”

You blink, surprised. “No! Oh my god, congrats!”

“Thanks,” he beams, picking at the corner of his paper napkin. “We’ve been together forever. Like, since uni. She’s definitely the patient one in the relationship.”

“I mean, I have seen your email inbox.”

He laughs, a full-bodied sound that makes the waitress behind the counter glance over fondly. “Touché. She’s actually calling now—probably checking if I remembered to send the caterer the final menu.”

His phone buzzes again, vibrating against the table. He stands, mouthing one sec and stepping outside to take the call, his voice already softening as he greets her.

You watch him go, then shift your gaze to the window.

Across the street, you notice two figures. One tall, dressed in a charcoal overcoat with sharp, elegant features and an unreadable gaze, holding an umbrella. The other, a little shorter, holds himself like he’s posing without trying, hands in pockets, shoulders relaxed like the whole world moves at his pace. He looks a little too familiar, but you’re not sure why. Your gaze lingers on the two men longer than you mean to. The taller one is already looking elsewhere, scanning the area, but the shorter man turns his head slightly, as if sensing something. You still don’t place him. Not yet. He says something to the other man—too far to hear, but it’s casual, low—and starts walking toward the diner. You look down instinctively, busying yourself with the condensation on your water glass. You’re probably mistaking him for someone else.

“Didn’t expect to see you so soon.” 

That voice. You glance up slowly, your eyes catching on the curve of his mouth first—the hint of amusement tugging at one corner—and then the rest of him. Familiar, but in a way that sneaks up on you. That outfit, the way his hair sweeps across his forehead, the glint of something secret in his eyes.

“You…”

The word slips out before you can stop it. You blink, your mind stumbling. He says nothing, just watches you with that same quiet interest, like he’s flipping through a book only he can read.

“You were at the masquerade.”

His smile deepens. “You remember.”

“Of course I remember. That night was…” you trail off, unsure how to finish the sentence without sounding completely insane. You decide to change the subject a little. “I didn’t catch your name,” you say, studying him.

“Didn’t offer it,” he replies, smooth as silk. “But I suppose that’s only fair. You didn’t give me yours either.”

You’re not sure why you do, but you immediately tell him your name. His eyebrows raise at your eagerness. Before you wish for the floor to swallow you whole, he offers you a sweet smile and says your name as if to try it out. 

“It suits you. Matches your beauty, princess.”

“Alright,” you glance down, feeling your cheeks flush immediately. “What’s your name, then?” 

His expression shifts slightly, before his voice lowers into something softer, “it’s Ji-yong.”

You glance out the window. Youngbae is still on the phone, pacing a little, laughing softly. When you turn back, the man is watching you in that same quiet, amused way. Waiting. Not impatiently. Just… present. You tried to ignore feeling as small as you did, given both men were practically towering over you.

“I was starting to wonder if it had all been a dream, Ji-yong.” You half-joked, wanting an excuse to say his name. His eyes noticeably gain some sort of spark as he steps a little closer and leans closer, one arm leaning on the back of the booth behind you.

“Would’ve been a shame, hm?” He tilted his head, his dark eyes never leaving you.

“Yeah—” 

“You looked beautiful under the chandeliers, even more so in the moonlight. I almost didn’t want to let you leave.”

That made your breath hitch. “Almost?”

“I’m still deciding. I guess it depends on if you plan on… vanishing, again.” 

Your lips part as you’re about to speak, when you hear the bell of the front door chime again, and Youngbae steps back into the café, sunlight catching on the curve of his smile as he makes his way toward your table. You smile in return, already reaching for your cup—but the air beside you changes before he even speaks.

Ji-yong doesn’t shift much. Just another tilt of his head. A quiet inhale through his nose. But it’s enough. Still silent, his friend glances at him. 

And then you see it: the thin smear of red on Youngbae’s hand as he presses a napkin to a fresh papercut. Still slightly bleeding.

Ji-yong’s jaw flexes.

Youngbae drops into the seat across from you. “Sorry,” he says, oblivious to the tension humming through the space. “I accidentally picked at it and it started bleeding again.”

You laugh softly. “That’s what you get for showing up late.”

Ji-yong leans even closer, voice light, almost sing-song. “So is this the lucky man who gets your attention?”

“Coworker,” you explain. “Same department.”

“I basically bribe her with food to deal with me. Works like a charm.”

That teasing smile is still on Ji-yong’s lips, but there’s something simmering beneath it now—his fingers brushing the edge of your booth like he’s deciding whether or not to dig them in. “Ah,” he says, eyes flicking to the napkin again, “so even when he bleeds for you, it’s all strictly professional?”

You blink at him, startled by the phrasing.

His friend exhales quietly through his nose, a barely-there sound, and shifts even closer to Ji-yong’s side. His presence is steady—heavy in the way mountains are heavy. He doesn’t say a word, but Ji-yong seems to breathe a little deeper because of it. They must be close, right? Still, that gleam in Ji-yong’s eye doesn’t fade.

“Must be nice,” he continues, eyes never leaving yours, “having someone so… dedicated.”

There’s something in the way he says it—velvet and knife-sharp—that sends heat curling up your spine.

Youngbae chuckles, still oblivious. “You two know each other?”

Ji-yong’s gaze lingers on you as he answers, “You could say we’ve met before.”

That makes your cheeks warm. Before you can reply, Youngbae winces and dabs again at his cut. “Okay, ow. That might need a bandage after all.”

And that’s when Ji-yong shifts again. He blinks, sharp and sudden, and turns his face away for a moment—just enough that the flicker of something darker behind his eyes disappears from view. His tongue swipes across the inside of his cheek, jaw visibly tense. His friend leans in and murmurs something too low for you to catch. Whatever it is, Ji-yong nods once, breathing out through his nose like he’s pulling himself back down from something high and hungry.

“We should let you eat,” the man says at last, the first words he’s spoken.

“I’ll see you again,” he says, soft but certain. Ji-yong lingers a beat longer, eyes fixed on yours. Then they’re gone—leaving the door swinging gently behind them, your pulse rushing in your ears, and a strange pressure in your chest that you can’t quite name.

Youngbae raises a brow. “So… who was that?”

You shake your head slowly, voice quiet. “I don’t know.”

But that’s not entirely true. Not anymore. Youngbae takes a bite of his sandwich, watching the door slowly swing shut behind the two strangers. His casual expression falters just slightly. You notice the way his brows pull together, just a bit tighter than usual.

“You okay?” You ask, trying to sound nonchalant, but even to your ears it comes out a little too breathy.

He glances at you. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

You stiffen, then force a soft laugh. “I’m fine. Why?”

“That guy—I don’t know, you just looked like you’d seen a ghost.”

“It’s not like that.”

He doesn't press immediately. He takes another bite, chews, swallows. But when he sets his sandwich down, there’s something different in the weight of his tone.

“You sure? ‘Cause you looked like you knew him.”

You try to brush it off. “I met him once. Kind of. At a thing. It’s not a big deal.”

His eyes narrow slightly. “The masquerade?”

Damn it.

You nod, still playing casual. “Yeah. He was there.”

“You said that you didn’t meet anyone important there.”

You elected to stay quiet, taking a sip of your drink as he studies you for a long moment. Then he leans back, folding his arms. 

“So why’d he look like he wanted to kill me for sitting with you?”

“I don’t know…”

Youngbae takes a bite of his sandwich, still chewing when he glances at you again with a smirk. “So… are we just gonna pretend you didn’t turn into a shy schoolgirl the moment your mystery man showed up?”

You choke slightly on your drink and glare at him over the rim of your cup. “I did not.”

He raises his brows, clearly enjoying himself. “You barely looked up. All blushing and blinking like you forgot how to function.”

“I did not blink like I forgot how to function.”

“You did,” he says with a grin. “It was cute, honestly. A little weird—since you’ve been chewing up every press event and assignment this month like a machine—but cute.”

You roll your eyes, but your lips twitch upward despite yourself. “Shut up.”

“I mean, look. I get it.” He leans back with a light shrug. “If I didn’t already have my heart claimed, I’d be just as dumb over my fiancée. I’d follow her through a damn haunted mansion if she asked.”

You raise a brow. “That’s oddly specific.”

He grins. “She’s into spooky stuff.”

You both laugh, and for a second it grounds you—his warmth, his ease, the way he makes everything feel less surreal.

Youngbae picks at the corner of his sandwich and adds, more gently this time, “But really, I get it. When someone makes your brain short-circuit like that? When they make you feel something even when you’re trying not to?”

You glance down at your hands.

“Yeah,” you murmur. “It’s something.”

“Just… be careful, alright?”

You nod, but there's a strange heaviness clinging to the center of your chest. Because even you don't know what you’re being careful of.

The days begin to blur again, smoothed over by the rhythm of work and deadlines. You wake to alarms instead of moonlight, fall asleep to the glow of your laptop instead of candlelit chandeliers. The masquerade becomes something you fold away in the back of your mind, like an old photograph—strangely vivid, but too dreamlike to trust.

The newsroom returns to its usual chaos: coffee-stained notes, editors barking for rewrites, the distant whirr of printers chewing through drafts. You slip easily back into your role, tapping out columns and headlines, pulling interviews from people who would rather stay quiet. The hum of the office becomes your pulse again.

Youngbae starts to stick around your desk more often—easy, familiar, always arriving with a joke or some takeout he picked up “accidentally” in double portions. There’s a quiet comfort in his presence, the kind that sneaks up on you in the silence between meetings. Sometimes you find yourself laughing louder when he’s around. Sometimes you glance toward him before saying something, waiting for the glint of amusement in his eyes. You start to learn the way his voice softens when he talks about his fiancée. You like the way he always walks you to the train if you both leave late.

But in the still moments—those seconds between paragraphs, between breaths—you can’t shake the sense of something else. A tingle along your spine. A weightless pressure just behind your shoulder. Like someone’s watching.

You start to catch yourself glancing at darkened corners, reflective windows. Nothing’s ever there. Not really. But sometimes, the light seems to bend just a little too strangely in your periphery. Sometimes, the back of your neck prickles like someone’s just stepped out of reach. You brush it off, tell yourself it’s just residual nerves, or too much caffeine. You keep writing. You keep moving. Still… sometimes, late at night, you pause mid-sentence—staring at the blinking cursor—heart skipping for no reason at all.

And outside, beyond your apartment window, the shadows never quite stay still.

The office is nearly empty, quiet and golden under the dimmed lights of the after-hours lull. You’re finishing up a final draft, fingers clicking softly against your keyboard as the city outside hums low through the windows. Behind you, Youngbae is moving slowly, gathering his things—coat, phone, the last few stray papers on his desk. You glance back when you hear the rustle of fabric.

“You’re still here,” he says with a tired smile.

“Same as you,” you reply, stretching in your chair. “Don’t tell me you’re pulling an all-nighter the day before your big wedding.”

“Nah. Just tying up some loose ends,” he says, slipping his phone into his coat pocket. “Tomorrow’s going to be… something.”

You swivel your chair toward him, grinning. “I can’t believe I didn’t get an invite. I thought we were work friends.”

He huffs a soft laugh. “Private ceremony. Just close family. Small. Quiet.”

“Sounds nice, though.”

“Yeah,” he says, but his smile flickers — not quite sadness, but a kind of reflection, like he’s holding something tightly just behind his eyes. Probably the realisation of such a big life event finally setting in.

The way he says it makes you falter for a second, but you brush past the weird weight of it with a smile. “Well, you better at least bring photos next week. I need to rate your tux.”

Youngbae chuckles, then steps over, tapping a knuckle lightly on your desk. “Promise. Just don’t work too late. You always get stuck in your head.”

“I’ll head out soon,” you promise.

“Good.” He hesitates, then adds, quieter, “Take care of yourself, yeah?”

You nod, a little confused by the gravity in his voice, but say nothing. He leaves with a small wave and a soft smile. You don’t realize how long you sit there after he’s gone, fingers resting still on your keyboard, your screen dimming slowly as the office around you goes still and cold. Ten minutes later, you finally pack up, grabbing your bag and making your way to the elevators.

The lobby is mostly empty when the doors part, save for a figure leaning casually against the glass wall—backlit by streetlights, sharp coat, posture lazy and confident. Your steps falter. It’s not until he lifts his head and smiles—crooked and knowing—that you recognize him.

“Late night?” 

The breath catches in your throat.

“You again.”

Ji-yong pushes off the glass as you approach, that same smile curving at his lips—something half-charmed, half-patient, like he’s been waiting.

“Thought you might be the last one out,” he says. “You always look like you’ve got a hundred thoughts spinning in your head.”

You blink. “You’ve been watching me?”

He shrugs, unbothered. “I notice things.”

You should feel unsettled. Maybe a part of you does— the part that flinches at how familiar he feels. But instead, you find yourself saying, “That sounds like a line.”

“It could be,” he replies smoothly. “If you want it to be.”

His gaze flicks down to the way you shift your weight between your feet, then back up — something amused and unreadable behind his eyes.

“Walk with me?”

He doesn’t wait for your answer. Just turns toward the glass doors and holds one open, glancing back at you. And like the first time—like the masquerade night that still lingers in your dreams—you follow. The air outside is cool and sharp, the city humming low beneath the late hour. Streetlamps paint the sidewalks in gold and shadow, and your footsteps fall into rhythm with his without effort. You follow him down the quiet street, where the orange glow of streetlights gives way to the muted hush of shadows and old brick. It’s late enough that the world feels paused—no cars, no footsteps but your own, just the low murmur of city wind threading between buildings.

Ji-yong walks a step ahead, glancing at you over his shoulder with a smirk that’s almost too knowing.

“I have to say,” he drawls, “for someone so mysterious, you’re dangerously easy to read.”

You laugh, a little breathless from catching up. “Dangerously? That’s dramatic.”

“Oh, I’m very dramatic,” he says, turning toward you slightly. “You just haven’t seen it yet.”

There’s something different in the way he says it. Not heavy, not overbearing—just a touch more forward, his gaze lingering longer than it did before, voice smooth enough to feel like it’s brushing right up against your skin.

You try to keep your cool. “Is this your usual routine?”

“Only when I actually like someone.” His smile tugs deeper now, almost lazy. “I don’t do this often, you know. The whole… moonlit stroll, charming conversation, letting someone see me like this.”

“Lucky me,” you tease.

“Very lucky,” he says, no hesitation, no grin this time—just a quiet certainty.

You glance away, the tension winding in your chest so unexpectedly it makes your hands a little clammy. He steps closer—not enough to cross a line, but enough that the space between you shifts.

“You know,” he murmurs, “I don’t mind the way you look at me like you’re still trying to figure me out.”

“I’m not,” you say, heat rising in your cheeks. “I mean—I am, a little, but—”

He tilts his head, clearly entertained. “You’re cute when you’re flustered.”

You give him a look, but you can’t help smiling. “You’re trouble.”

He shrugs, unapologetic. “Maybe. But I’d say it’s worth it.”

You’re not sure what makes you laugh—the audacity or the way he somehow says it like it’s a promise.

You reach your building before you even realize it, the soft tap of your shoes on pavement slowed to a reluctant stroll. The evening is heavy with warmth, the kind that clings to your skin and makes the air feel rich, like something is about to happen. Ji-yong’s presence beside you hasn’t dulled since you left the café—it’s only grown, like a second pulse just a breath behind your own.

He stops with you at the gate to your place, one hand casually tucked into his coat pocket, the other brushing his fingers against the iron bars as he looks up at the façade of your building.

“So this is where the enchantress disappears at night,” he says, voice all velvet and smoke. “Fitting.”

You smirk, leaning against the gate, arms folding loosely over your chest. “Enchanted now, are we?”

His mouth curves slowly. “Oh, I’ve been under your spell for much longer.”

You raise an eyebrow, trying to play it off with a laugh, but there’s something in his tone that makes your breath catch. You’re not entirely sure if it’s a line or the truth—but either way, it’s working. Too well.

“You always say things like that to strangers?”

“You still think we’re strangers, my love? You wound me.” 

You chuckle, but it comes out softer than intended. There’s a tug in your chest you can’t quite explain. You should feel like this is too fast, too flirtatious, too much… but all it feels like is familiar. And safe. And entirely too compelling.

You glance toward the entrance behind you. “I should probably go in.”

“You probably should,” he says, but he doesn’t move away. “Unless…”

“Unless?”

“Unless you want to make this moment last a little longer.”

Your breath hitches. There’s barely a foot between you now. The faint glow from the streetlamp overhead turns his eyes gold around the edges, and you can feel the heat from his body in the little space left between you.

“You say that like I’m not already stalling,” you murmur.

“You say that like you don’t want me to notice.”

You meet his gaze and find it steady, daring, but not unkind. His lips part slightly, like he wants to say more, but he doesn’t. Instead, he reaches out, brushing a loose strand of hair from your cheek with maddening care. His fingers linger just a second too long. You draw a breath, but it catches in your throat. Your heart is beating too loud, and you feel it in every inch of your skin.

“Are you going to kiss me?” You whisper, surprised by the breathlessness in your voice.

He smiles, slow and sure. “I was waiting for permission.”

You don't answer with words. You just lean in.

The kiss, when it happens, is warm and slow. His lips move against yours like he’s been waiting, like every inch closer is a step into something sacred. His hand finds your waist, steadying you, drawing you in as though letting go simply isn’t an option. You sigh softly into his mouth, feeling your fingertips clutch his jacket without meaning to. He deepens the kiss only slightly, but it’s enough to send a current skimming down your spine.

When you finally part, your forehead rests against his, both of you breathing a little harder than before. Neither of you says anything for a few long seconds, like speaking too soon would shatter whatever just passed between you.

He’s the first to speak.

“I was right,” he murmurs.

“About what?”

“You’re very good at making moments last.”

You laugh, cheeks flushed, lips still tingling. “You’re very good at ruining goodbyes.”

“I’m only good at goodbyes when I know I’ll see you again.”

That makes your smile falter, just a little—but before you can dwell in the weight of his words, he straightens up and presses a kiss to your knuckles with a charm so casual it makes your stomach flutter.

“Sleep well,” he murmurs. “Don’t dream of me too much.”

You arch a brow. “Too much?”

“I’m giving you room for dignity.”

You laugh again, low and surprised, and by the time you’ve caught your breath and looked up—he’s already halfway down the street, his silhouette flickering in and out of shadow like something half-real. You touch your lips, still warm from his kiss, and let yourself lean against the gate for a moment longer before finally heading inside—wondering what you just stepped into, and why it felt so eerily meant to be.

The next morning starts like any other. There’s sunlight peeking between your blinds, warm and unassuming. The city hums outside, muffled and steady, and your apartment carries the faint scent of last night—smoke, roses, a touch of his cologne still clinging to your scarf. You feel it all in pieces: his smile, the feel of his hands, the way his kiss left you breathless and wanting more. But now it’s morning, and you’re back in your usual rhythm. Shower. Clothes. Half-burnt toast. The mundane grind. You barely remember the walk to the subway. You barely feel the eyes on you.

By the time you step into the office, ten minutes behind schedule, everything feels… off. Not loudly. Not obviously. Just enough. The kind of quiet you notice too late. No one’s talking. No music playing from someone’s phone. No keyboards clacking or printer jamming or someone cursing under their breath. Just muted whispers, heads down, movements that feel too careful. And then, as you turn the corner toward your department, your feet stall.

Youngbae’s desk.

You don’t realise you’ve stopped until someone brushes past you. Your eyes are locked on it. It’s too clean. Chair tucked in, screens off. No snack wrappers. No tangled charger cables. No scribbled reminders on post-its. Just a small vase of fresh lilies—pale and crisp and wrong. Your chest tightens. The absence is louder than anything else. And just as you take one slow, unsure step forward, someone at your side—low, almost gentle—says it.

“Yeah… he’s dead."

taglist: @emmiesoverthemoon @mirahyun @riddlerloveb0t @onyxmango @sherrayyyyy @seunghyunwifey @mattsturniolosbabymama @redhoodedtoad @bettelaboure @cinnamonbear22 @xxxicddbr88 @infinetlyforgotten @babygirlewis @loveesiren @tulentiy @babyrvis @ldydeath @wcnderlands @eru-vande @breakmeoff @petersasteria @aizshallnotbefound @sevendaysummer @ttturnitup @mashtatosworld @ilovethe141 @allthoughtsmindfull 

[moonstruckme]

ok i have a request/idea: gf reader on tour supporting bf rockstar!sirius but she starts to feel homesick being on the road for so long <33333 just feel like sirius would be so comforting and caring

I feel the same babe! Thank you for requesting <3

rockstar!Sirius x fem!reader ♡ 1.4k words

Even after months on tour, you don’t understand why rockstars need to smoke indoors. You’ve found a corner of refuge in the stranger’s house, siphoning fresh air from an open window, but you feel for James, grinning and bearing it while he talks to another band that performed tonight and makes nice with groupies while showing off pictures of his girlfriend back home. 

Part of you is still a bit awestruck that you get to go to these things, another part equally mystified at how routine it’s come to feel. During the first several nights of the tour, you’d been endlessly dazzled by the wealth you were suddenly surrounded with, the vibrancy of the people around you, the novelty of it all. The world had suddenly become so much larger, and everywhere you and the boys went everyone wanted to talk to them, buy you all drinks, invite you to parties and afterparties and after-afterparties. 

Sirius bears it beautifully, like this was always his destiny—in a lot of ways, you imagine it was—but sometimes when the two of you are alone he’ll confess to still feeling giddy that he and his friends have made it this big. You wonder if it’ll ever feel normal for him, the hugeness of it. You can tell by now that it never will for you. 

You’re still very impressed by the glamor of touring, you still have a good time on these nights out, but lately you’ve started to feel the distance between where you are and your real life. It’s almost as if before you could feel something invisible connecting you to home and, somewhere along on the road, it severed without you noticing. Now it just feels like a phantom limb, and when you try to recall the scent of you and Sirius’ kitchen or mime the way you have to jimmy your key to unlock the front door, you can’t manage it. 

You’re still thinking of the scent of your kitchen when it sidles up next to you. 

“You smell like garlic,” you tell Sirius, not without fondness. 

“God, it’s that potent, is it?” Your boyfriend’s tone speaks to a chagrin entirely unlike him, and he corroborates its falsity by caging you in his arms and touching his cheek to yours. You don’t mind, as he knew you wouldn’t. “I was given a choice, gorgeous, and I took a gamble.” 

“Mm. What was that?” 

“Do you want to get out of here?” 

You turn in his arms, tangling your fingers behind his back so you’re holding him as he is you. People start to give you a bit of berth, as one does for couples at parties, and selfishly you enjoy it. 

Touring is non-stop motion, a blur of people and places and sounds, and you miss the slow, quiet moments you and Sirius used to have more of. You’re with him all the time, but it doesn’t always feel like it. It hardly feels like you’re with yourself. Not his fault, not anyone’s, but not ideal. 

“It’s hardly one,” you say. 

“Which means” —he drops his lips to your eyebrow, speaking loudly to be heard over the music but just soft enough to have goosebumps skittering down your arms— “the fast food places will be closing in an hour. Fancy some grease, my love?” 

You tilt your chin up, pecking him on the lips. Truly, you don’t mind the garlic as much as you suppose you ought to. “Sure, let’s go.” 

Getting to the door is a melee, several people stopping you to try and pull Sirius back into conversation or ask if you’re going to the next party and such-and-such’s place in a couple hours, but when you do make it out the noise deadens and the air tastes clean. 

It’s a pleasant night, just cool enough to raise the hair on your arms and refresh your energy. Somewhere above you, the moon is hidden behind clouds, but still it’s bright enough that it casts a silvery glow in the areas not lit by streetlights. 

You make it a few paces down the block before Sirius is fisting his hand in the material of your shirt, spinning you around to face him. 

“Have I told you how stunning you look tonight?” 

Only thrice between the hotel and when he went on stage. “No.” 

“Liar,” he says lovingly, leaning in to give you a kiss. 

You expect from his mood for it to be hot and indelicate, and you’d hardly have complained, but he closes his lips around yours softly. His hand loosens on your front, coasting upwards to cup your cheek, sweet and savoring. 

“Garlic knots,” he says as he pulls back. 

You’re unjustifiably breathless. “Hm?” 

“That was the choice I had to make. One of Ricky’s friends heated up garlic knots, and I wagered you’d prefer kissing someone who tasted like garlic over someone who tasted like cigarettes.” 

“It’s not just someone.” You grin at him, turning and taking his hand to keep walking. “I’ll always prefer kissing you. I would’ve done it either way, you know.” 

You can hear Sirius’ smile in his voice, your favorite sound. “Yeah, but I chose right, didn’t I?” 

“You did,” you confirm, and he gives your hand a triumphant squeeze. “I have no idea where I’m going, by the way. I don’t know why I took the lead.” 

He hums. “Do you ever think you might have one of those honing instincts? Like, the way bees are to their hive, that’s how you are with fast food. My honeybee,” he says it drawn out and extra saccharine, knowing you’ll hate it, and laughs when you let go of his hand and make to walk away from him. 

Sirius grabs for your hand back, tugging you close enough to get his arm around your shoulders and pulling you into his side. You don’t put up much resistance. 

“You’re spot on, sweetheart,” he says. “I clocked a McDonald’s just a few streets down when we were driving here.” 

A buzz of excitement goes through you. “Why are you so keen on McDonald’s all of a sudden?” Sirius is as happy with fast food as the rest of you, but you know he’s been enjoying the lavish meals the boys’ new manager pays for and having room service sent up at your hotel. “We can always have that at home.” 

“You’ve been talking about milkshakes for a couple of days now,” he says, “and you’re getting quiet. I recognize that mood. I missed home last summer, too.” 

“Really?” This is the boys' first big tour—they’ve already been on a shorter, less grandiose one you hadn’t come along for—but it’s hard for you to picture Sirius ever not enjoying it. He’s not someone who sets down roots, and with the way he talks about where he grew up you’ve never thought of him as getting particularly nostalgic for any sort of place. “I figured you’d feel most at home wherever James and Remus are.” 

“Yeah, but we’d left you behind. I was torn in two, gorgeous.” Sirius’ tone is doing that weird thing where it’s teasing but not. You can hear the sincerity lining his words. He mashes a kiss into the side of your head. “Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t feeling well?” 

“Because.” You take his hand where it’s draped over your shoulder, your fingertips dancing in between his own. “It’s not the sort of mood I’d like to give into if I can help it, and I’d rather be here with you than at home anyways, so it’s pointless. There was nothing you could do, baby.” 

“Well, that’s where you’re wrong.” Sirius gives your fingers a playful squeeze. “You should always assume there’s something I can do, haven’t we been over this? Right now, I can get my girl a milkshake and some fries, and then I was thinking we could go find a park to eat them.” 

That sounds so unbelievably nice. You turn your head to smile at him, and find he’s already looking at you with a similar expression.

“And if more things come up that would make you feel better, I can try to make those happen. How does that sound, lovely girl?” 

You steal a kiss to his cheek, but Sirius doesn’t let you get away with just that, stopping to hold you in place so he can peck you properly on the lips. The neon sign of the McDonalds is close enough now to cast you in its glow. 

“You woo me more every day, do you know that?” 

“Yes, well,” says Sirius, wrapping his arm around you again to lead you the rest of the way, “I do have to prove myself better than home somehow, don’t I?”

[eliomwah]

Sweet Nothing || Spencer Angew x F!Reader

Summary: Y/N struggles with hate comments, Spencer is there to comfort her and make her feel better.

Warning: Angst? Negative Self Talk, Crying

Word Count: 1.2k

Note: Inspired off the song "Sweet Nothing" by Taylor Swift

----- <3 -----

The comment section is never a place to look, especially when you’re already feeling bad about yourself. Normally, Y/N stays away from the comments of any video but today was different. They needed some of the crazier comments for a Smosh Pit Theatre video. As she was sifting through different videos, Y/N started seeing a lot of hate comments. Which wasn’t unusual, but there was a common theme. Most of the comments were about her. This sent her brain down a spiral of criticism and hate. She has been a cast member at Smosh for a few years now. She thought everything was going well. People laughed at her bits, she was cast in many different videos, and the fans always seemed to love her. Y/N knew hate comments were all apart of the job, but these ones were hitting close to home. All she wanted was to be apart of Smosh. She tried her best in every video, wanting to be on the same level as her fellow cast mates. She thought she was achieving that goal, but she must have been wrong.  

“Hey, you ok?” Courtney says as she walks by her desk. 

“Yeah, just lost in thought,” Y/N says, looking up at Courtney. 

Unconvinced, Courtney gives her soft smile. “If you need anything I’m always here to talk.” 

“Thanks Court. I’ll be ok. Just been a little stressed recently.” 

“Awe, sweetie. Well, tomorrow we’re playing Gentlemen’s Werewolf again, so that should be fun. And, hey, let’s go out for lunch after!” 

“Yeah, that would be wonderful!” You reply, though the idea of filming tomorrow isn’t as comforting as Courtney thinks. Hopefully lunch with one of your besties will help you get through a filming day. 

“Ok, I’m going home. Don’t stay too late tonight.” 

“I won’t, I promise.” Courtney grabs your hand and gives it a squeeze before walking towards the door. 

Y/N goes back to her laptop, staring blankly at her screen. She knows she needs to stop going through the comments, but she can’t seem to pull her eyes away. Her mind is doing crazy things. She’s needs to snap out of it. This isn’t who she is. Y/N started out as an editor and slowly they started casting her in videos. She had assumed there was a reason she was put into videos, but she guesses they just needed someone to fill as space. When they had asked her to be a full time cast member as well as an editor, Y/n was hesitant but agreed. It was going to be a lot of work, but everyone loved her in the crew videos, especially Shayne’s hide and seek video. It was during her first week on the job. She had no idea where to hide. As she was searching for a spot, she ran into her future best friend/ work crush, Spencer. He helped her come up with the idea where she was sneaking behind Shayne the whole time. Shayne was so confused and laughed hysterically once he caught her. On that day she had truly felt like she belonged at Smosh. She had been wrong. Maybe all her friends were lying to her. Maybe she isn’t as funny as everyone said. The internet is known for being brutally honest. 

Y/N’s feels her phone buzz on her desk. She turns over her phone to see a text from Spencer. 

Spence: Wanna come over? I have a pizza and game controller calling your name 

This was a little tradition for Y/N and Spencer, getting takeout and playing video games on a Friday night. Y/N and Spencer had barely talked all day. He was busy was a last-minute change to the games shoot schedule and she had been editing the new TNTL. It has been a stressful week all around. It would be nice to have a relaxing night, especially with how the last few hours have been. Spencer always made her feel better whatever the situation. 

Y/N: Only if the games Mario Party 

Spence: … 

Spence: fiiiiiiinnneeeee. I guess we can play it for the 100th time this month 

Y/N: what can I say, I just love it soooo much hehe 

Y/N: I’ll be there soon 

Y/N closes her laptop. She decides to go home and finish this assignment tomorrow. As she drives to Spencer’s house, she can’t help but think about the comments. She’s so tired of feeling like she’s not enough. Though she knows she shouldn’t care about what the internet has to say, right now it’s all she can think about. She tries to play some music to uplift her spirits. She doesn’t want to bring down the vibe with Spencer. The music doesn’t seem to help. As she walks up to Spencer’s apartment, Y/N starts to feel more insecure. Normally, Spencer makes her feel better. He always finds a way of making her laugh, making her feel safe. But what if she’s not enough for him?  

Y/N stops in front of his door. She thinks about everything she should have done by now. All the things that others have don’t that she hasn’t. She thinks about the comments and everything they said about her. For a second, she thinks about going home and wallowing in her self-hatred. Why would Spencer ever fall for someone like her? She knocks on the door. Spencer answers and before he could say anything she crashes into him and buries her head into is neck. And he lets her. She takes a deep breath and relaxes into his arms. After a while, he leads them to the couch so they can sit down. 

“What’s going on? Are you ok?” Spencer asks. He has a concerned look on his face. Y/N pauses for a second. She doesn’t want to burden Spencer with all her insecurities but the look in his eyes makes her want to explain the deepest parts of her soul. He made her feel safe. 

“I had to look though comments today, for a video, and…” Y/N starts to tear up and looks down at her lap “and I don’t know why but they really got to me and I’m trying my best but I feel like I’m not enough and…” 

Spencer interrupts. “It’s ok, it’s ok. The common section is never a good place to look. I promise you no one at Smosh thinks those things,” He pauses for a second “and I don’t think any of those things. You are one of the funniest people I get to work with each day. I look forward to shoot blocks only because I get to watch you smile and laugh and do silly little bits. Seeing you happy makes me happy.”  

He places a hand on her cheek and wipes away a tear. She looks up at him. Sitting there, Y/N feels like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. Neither of them says anymore. Soon they start to play Mario Party and eat the pizza. They laugh and banter back and forth as they play, Spencer ultimately winning in the end. As he was beating Y/N in a mini game, she couldn’t help but feel happy. All the voices in her head telling her that she isn’t enough, all the hate and all the self-doubt, that didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered to her was Spencer. And the only thing he wanted from her was sweet nothing.

[jemiswumbo]

she’s out of her mind

luke castellan x daughter of hades!reader

anon prompt: Hey babes! I saw your post about wanting prompts and I was wondering you could write Luke Castellan x Daughter of Hades! Reader where it's like sunshine (Luke) x grumpy (Reader) trope?

authors note: hello i am back with a small drabble for the cute prompt above! i got drunk off of applebees dollaritas and wrote this in 15mins so do with that information what you will. hope you enjoy! :)

title is from she’s out of her mind by blink-182. lyrics are a lil fitting.

warnings: none? i think? it’s just fluff, i think. sort of.

“Wake up, sunshine.”

You groaned low and deep, releasing a guttural sound full of pure agony. Rolling over on your (extremely warm, cozy, sleep inducing) bed, you came face to face with your boyfriend, Luke Castellan, who was currently opening up the curtains in your cabin.

Being the only child of Hades at the camp, the entire cabin was sparse and empty, save for the corner you called home. There was a bed with black sheets and blanket, a side table full of the few memorabilia you had to your name, and a dresser beside that which held your extensive collection of black clothing. The walls resembled the inner workings of a cavern; slick rock prodded with small bones and beautiful jewels encapsulated the bedroom areas. Sconces held lit torches burning bright with turquoise Greek fire.

Your favourite part of the cabin, though, was the specially-crafted blackout curtains that were typically drawn tight over the windows. Not even a sliver of light could penetrate the thick, black, velvet drapes. That was, until, your idiot boyfriend took it upon himself to draw them open. The harsh blades of sunlight violated your eyes, illiciting your pained groan. You hated it when people interrupted your sleep.

“Luke,” You whined, shoving your face into your pillow, hoping to evade the blinding light. “Let me sleep, please, for the love of the gods.”

“Fuck the gods,” Luke said, and you could hear the smirk in his voice without needing to see his (cute, devilishly handsome) face. “Anyways, it’s 9am! You’ve slept in long enough and I wanna have breakfast with you and your pretty face.” Luke flopped down on the bed beside you and flipped your body back over with ease, in a foolish attempt to force you into the world of the living.

Typical for a child of Death, you kept your eyes squeezed shut and pounded the bedsheet with your fist. “I will literally, genuinely, actually murder you without hesitation if you don’t leave me the fuck alone.”

“That’s no way to talk to your boyfriend.” Luke said, pressed a small kiss to your nose. You swatted him away with anger.

Any other (normal, rational, smart) kid at camp would’ve soiled their pants and fled in terror from such a threat uttered by the one and only daughter of Hades. You were capable of a simple killing — you were graciously bestowed the gift of sucking out the souls of mortals with a mere flick of the wrist — and so it was only logical to fear such a ghastly claim. Luke, however, had realized early on in your Camp days that you were full of shit and would never hurt a fly. He took an opportunity to befriend you and you’d been dating for a few years now. You were (truly, madly, deeply) in love with him and yes, despite your immense hatred for morning sunlight, you would never actually hurt him.

“Come on,” he prodded again, cuddling up beside you and tapping your forehead mischievously. You mustered the courage to crack open one eye (barely) and saw him grinning down at you. “Wake up, baby. Let’s get breakfast and then spend the day at the docks. We can swim and sun bathe and have a picnic—“

“Gods, you’re ambitious today,” you grumbled, rolling back over to face the opposite direction of Luke (and, the open windows), allowing him to grab your waist and pull you up against his chest. “I hate being in the sun. You know this.”

“Yeah, but I like to try new things with you,” Luke said, peppering a few kisses down your jaw and the side of your neck, squeezing his taut arm around your torso. “And I’m dying to see you in a bikini.”

“Perv,” you mumbled, but deep down you felt butterflies erupt in your stomach, causing a crimson blush to bloom over your chest. “Give me another hour to sleep.”

“No,” Luke said, and now it was his turn to groan impatiently. “Please, now, for me? I love you and want to spend time with you.”

“I hate you and want you to leave me alone,” you replied, pulling your fluffy duvet back up over your shoulders. “Bed time.”

“Beach time,” Luke decided. He sat up slightly and ripped the blankets entirely off your form, exposing your body to the cold air of the morning.

You shrieked. “Luke, you asshole—“

Luke jumped out of the bed, smiling wide. He gathered up all the blankets up into his arms, much to your dismay, and held them away from you. You only wore shorts and a tank top to sleep last night, and the chill in the room froze you right to your bones. Luke bundled up the bedding into a ball and fired it across the room. “There, now you’re acclimated.”

“You’re dumb as hell.”

“You are a grouchy, sleepy demon who needs breakfast and vitamin D.”

“Ugh!” You exploded, finally shoving yourself out of bed in a fit of exasperation. Luke had the audacity to applaud you. “Okay, there, I’m up!”

“So proud of you, my sleeping beauty,” Luke remarked. He crossed the room to you and placed a tender kiss to your lips, making sure to nip at your pouty bottom lip.

“Sorry for being rude,” You murmured, after having kissed him back. “I love you. I just don’t love being woken up.”

“I know,” Luke said with a grin. “I actually think you’re cute when your grumpy, so I do it on purpose to bug you.”

You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t stop the small smirk from appearing on your cheeks. “Whatever. You promised breakfast and I’m starving, so let’s go.”

Luke mimicked your playful eyeroll. He took your hand, leading you out the door and towards the dining pavilion.

note 2: hi hi! if you read this and enjoyed it and maybe want to read more from me, i would super appreciate prompts and requests sent to my inbox! can’t guarantee i’ll write them all but i will for sure try my best! thanks for reading! :)

[angelstate]

“Unprioritized Love”

Husband!Price x Wife!Reader

Price is a loyal person, he thinks about everyone else before himself and doesn’t hesitate to do something he normally would be against if it means saving the people he cares for, it truly is a blessing at times, the way his priorities don’t falter…until they do.

because he is a loyal person but does not know or pretends not to know in which situations he should stand by one person instead of the other, it’s conflicting for him to choose someone when another person is also expecting his support.

it hurts a lot when you’re caught in that sort of situation with him, you’re his lover, his companion in life, and the person he returns home to, but you’re also the person he leaves behind for his team, you’re the one who waits around for him while the team gets him almost all the time.

and you know jealousy isn’t healthy, that you shouldn’t resent anyone because it's his job, he has to leave to provide for you, you cannot bite the hand that feeds you, it would be wrong, it wouldn’t be pretty, it wouldn’t be fair for him.

so you bite your tongue and nod like a child when he tells you about his job, about him going away once more, for longer this time. and the tears in your eyes are hard to be held back, because God, it hurts a lot to be left behind, all by yourself. away from your family and your lover, only an empty home to satisfy your basic needs.

He doesn’t mean to be an absent presence, the lack of a lover in your life. He truly doesn’t mean to give so little to you, to not hold you every night. but between his job and you…he knows which one he isn’t choosing even if he doesn’t say it out loud. 

“I'll be back when I can, alright?” he speaks, voice gruff as he looks around the room, his hands on his hips, you stay seated on the couch, knees close to your chest and your eyes glued to the TV for a distraction, is better to pretend you don’t care than to show him how much you are beginning to hate the dynamic he created in your life.

“mhm” you hum in agreement, taking a big breath and holding it in before exhaling through your nose, not trusting that if you open your mouth, a sob wouldn’t escape, Price notices the lack of words from your part, you always have something to say, a small joke to make about him better bringing you a souvenir or something from his “trip” but when this time you don’t speak or even dare to look at him makes him anxious.

“Want me to bring you something?” he asks, taking a few steps towards you, looking towards the TV, a baking program playing, and your focus on the show makes him raise an eyebrow, you aren’t one to enjoy cooking so he doesn't understand why you’re watching it. 

“no thanks” you respond, and the answer makes him feel like he’s done something wrong that made you upset, the last 4 days he’s been home replaying in his mind, trying to remember what could’ve made you get angry with him, nothing comes to mind sadly, and he feels clueless about everything surrounding you. 

“I thought you don’t like cooking” He decides to comment, shifting the conversation to something more banal and easy to speak about. “I started baking almost 8 months ago” you answer him back, voice flat and your eyes strained on the TV, the recipe to make pavlova having your main focus, it makes Price frustrated, how you won’t look at him, won’t give him the time of day when he’s leaving tomorrow.

you don’t expect him to know how your life develops and the things that change when he's away most of the time, it wouldn’t be fair to expect him to pay you attention when he already has a tough and complicated job to do, his salary pays for the kitchen supplies and food after all. it wouldn’t be fair to expect him to know you... god, how stupid is that?

“You didn’t tell me” Price states, his voice carrying a heaviness that reveals he is irritated about not being told something he should’ve known if he paid attention to the new things in the kitchen like the stand mixer next to the electric oven. 

“I thought I mentioned it when I gave you to try the brownies I made yesterday” you retort, your eyes landing on him for a second before returning to the TV, your gaze isn’t welcoming or warm and it creates a pit on his stomach to see you so detached and unresponsive to something he knew should make you upset.

It brings a sort of heaviness to his chest as he notices he doesn’t have the right to feel offended about not being told something when you should be upset about him not noticing in the first place something that occurred in his own home. It is hypocritical and he knows it.

Price stays silent for a long time, the sound of the TV filling in the silence that was created between the two of you, he feels out of place, not knowing how to answer you, what to do, what is the problem he feels he should be fixing right now.

“you should start packing” you comment after almost five minutes, and that phrase is said with a monotone tone, not one of sadness or a little bit of frustration that he’s leaving again, it's a tone that just states the obvious, you declare that he should pack his bag once more because otherwise he would leave with nothing for his mission and that wouldn’t be optimal.

“Can you help me pack?” He asks for a favor you often offer without him mentioning wanting your help. tonight you don’t offer assistance, almost like you aren’t faced by his departure, used to his absence, used to his side of the bed being empty.

“I’m watching TV” you speak and his heart breaks a little bit, you don’t sound apologetic as you often do when you’re not able to help him, and he’s leaving but he feels you left instead, that the girl he married is no longer in the house even though he has you in front of him, too focused on looking at the tv to help him.

he nods at your answer and doesn’t try to persuade you into doing something you don’t want to, it wouldn’t be fair to force you to help him just because he wants you to, it isn’t fair for you to give a hand and for him to take your arm. Loving someone isn’t really fair.

Only when he leaves the living room to go pack do your tears make their way out of your eyes, running down your cheeks as you cry silently, vision too blurry to even distinguish the images on the TV, it feels almost pathetic to be crying alone, your lover packing to leave and not be able to bring yourself to help him abandon you once again.

If you were his pet it would be abuse for him to just leave, but you're a woman and therefore being alone and left behind isn’t unexpected, being the one to stay home is almost an obligation when your lover leaves to provide for you even if you wish they stayed.

you’re not sure how it begins to be fair to be put in this situation, when the missions of 4 weeks turned into 4 months. When knowing everything about each other turned into barely remembering anniversaries and birthdays.

You don’t want to say the relationship fell apart because you doubt there’s anything at all to be destroyed anymore, you love him though, the pain in your chest and the tears falling from your eyes are proof of that, but you are not sure John loves you.

It’s uncertain how he views you after not spending time together for almost two years, you doubt there is nothing more than just an acknowledgment of your existence in his life, a statement that he knows you're his partner but not enough love to call you his lover.

“Why are you crying darling?” the sudden voice of Price pulls you out of your thoughts, the place next to you on the couch sinking as he takes a sit beside you, resting his elbows on his knees while his eyes examine your expression, you look utterly distraught about something, your breathing uneven and shaky as you begin to sob loudly, unable to talk as all your emotions came crashing down.

and the sight of you crying, digging your nails into your thighs, and being desperate for a peace that will not come, makes a heavy feeling of guilt and worry sit on his shoulders, wrapping an arm around your waist and another under your knees, bringing you into his lap and putting your face on the crook of his neck while you cried, sobs muffled against his skin, your tears wetting his shirt.

“take a deep breath love” Price says in your ear, your breathing so erratic that it makes him worried you will suffocate at some point because of the lack of oxygen in your body, he feels your chest against him as you do as he told you, taking deep breaths the best you can, trying to calm down for your and his sake.

you’ve never been one to cry with so much despair, to need his comfort in times of need because you managed well on your own, he was never around to solve your sorrow either so why bother? But today, he is the reason you're crying and it seems fair that he is the one to comfort you, that your only chore is to cry and keep your breathing somewhat stable while he does everything else to fix what he broke.

He doesn't know where to begin though, unaware of where he stands or what he should do to bring peace into your mind, what words will fix his mistake, and what words will tear you apart even more, he doesn’t want to cause you harm, not consciously, not right now. it wouldn’t be fair to you, it wouldn’t be fair to your heart, it would be cruel. and he doesn’t want to be cruel to you, not anymore.

“I’m sorry love…I should’ve been good to you” he whispers, kissing the top of your head, rocking you back and forth on his lap, soothing you like he would to a child, his voice low and soft, his hand caressing your thighs in a comforting manner. 

“I don’t know why I didn’t notice that you started baking, it was wrong, I didn’t notice you when I should’ve noticed every change you’ve had over the last two years” he continuous, speaking out the guilt he carried in his chest the moment he saw you and heard you break down into tears, your sobs engraved in his mind.

“I’m really sorry for missing out on all of this when I was gone, I shouldn’t have been such a bad husband, you don’t deserve that” he sighs, his eyes stinting a little bit from the tears beginning to form, and your calmer now, sniffling and whimpering, the tears slowly stopping, but it seems that your distraught was transferred to him because he doesn’t feel at ease, he feels the guilt eat him alive while he soothes you.

“I don't want you to leave…” you mumble, adjusting on his lap, your head resting against his chest, you have never wanted him to leave home, to go on missions for months on end with little to no contact with your lover, it feels like you're mourning him every time he goes away and doesn’t give you a small message to let you know he wasn’t killed.

“I know sweet girl” he replies, he doesn’t want to leave either, he never wants to, even though he continues to do so. It's a complicated situation, one he doesn’t dare to think about too much because he’ll end up ripping his heart out, his loyalty not being able to distribute equally for you and his team, always the latter winning even if he doesn’t dare to admit it.

he wants to promise you he’ll return quickly this time and will take a leave just to spend time with you, to dedicate more time to what's left of your relationship, he doesn’t want your marriage to fail, you’re the only woman he wants, the only one he had ever seen himself grow old together, he doesn’t want to let that go because of his own stupid and selfish mistakes.

He has to leave tomorrow, but when he’s back he’ll fix everything.

“I'll be back soon” he mumbles against your hair, face buried in it as breathes in your smell, trying to engrave it in his mind, to not forget this time details about you he has always loved. 

Thankfully, his promise becomes reality, and after two weeks of loneliness that have never felt heavier on your chest, he returns, a bouquet of flowers in his hand and a smile on his lips, happy to see you, to see the warmth and loving gaze you always give him back in your eyes after all this time.

He steps through the door, your face pressed against his chest, refusing to let go of him, fearing he would leave even if it wasn’t unreasonable, he had returned early for you, he had seen his mistakes and was fixing what never should’ve been broken

Peace is restored in your home, love is flourishing once again in your marriage, and whatever plans you had made to start over get discarded, you’re already having a fresh start, one that doesn’t involve leaving your lover. this time is a start with a more conscious man who is ready to do everything right by you, to never let his job affect the way he loves you. He's learning that his wife comes first, that his life outside of the military also has the same and more importance than his job.

(little reminder: I'm taking requests if you want me to write something specific xx)

[munsonluhvr]

SWEETHEART SOIRÉE (DAY #2: LOVE LETTERS EVENT)

content: Eddie Munson x virgin!innocent!reader explicit, 18+ content! Your parents are strict, not willing to let you go out and participate in the shenanigans that happen on Valentine's Day; Eddie helps you sneak out so you can go out with him. word count - 4.1k

notes: this was so extremely fun to write. I got so engrossed in writing this that by the end I felt like I just snuck out to spend a night with Eddie #Iwish.

love letter event masterlist

The loud hum of conversation in Hawkins High cafeteria numbs your ears, the sound becoming unbearable. It’s Valentine’s day and all-around you people make plans for later tonight. Even at the table you sit at, your friends bounce back and forth to each other, making plans of their own. 

“I’m sorry your parents won’t let you out,” your friend Nancy Wheeler says to you with a frown. “Parents can be such a bummer.” 

You offer a smile, trying to play nonchalant. There’s nothing more pathetic then showcasing how truly bummed you are. Your parents are conservative, expecting you to behave like a lady all day, every day. Valentine’s day was a holiday your parents deemed too risky, the love circulating in the air making the perfect disease for you to catch and act promiscuous. They expected you home after school, in your room for the rest of the evening. For any of the previous years that would have been fine, you had never had a ‘valentine,’ but this year was different – Eddie Munson had made it clear he was your Valentine. However, he wasn’t aware of the lockdown your parents will have on you later in the evening. 

You and Eddie have been dating for only a few months, still in the early stages of being in a relationship. You were crazy about each other, spending any free time you had with each other. Normally he’d be sitting with you during lunch, or you with him and his Hellfire friends, but you glanced back at his normal table, his chair at the end of the table left empty.

Just then, a hand clasps around the back your back, leaning you back. Your skin sparks under the touch, your eyes flickering to see Eddie’s eyes gazing at you. Your stomach twists, your body becoming a puddle under his gaze. Eddie leans over, placing a kiss on your mouth. “Happy Valentine’s Day, love.” Eddie says, disconnecting his mouth from yours. He crouches down next to your chair, holding onto the back of it for balance. You’re still reeling from his kiss, the form of affection never growing old; every time it gives you butterflies, your skin igniting with goosebumps. “I wanted to ask what you wanted to do tonight?” 

“She can’t go out. Her parents have her on lockdown.” Nancy tosses at Eddie, noticing your loss of words. Eddie frowns glancing from you to Nancy and then back to you. “Is that true?” 

You nod, glancing at your hands that rest on your lap. “My parents think Valentine’s is a promiscuous holiday, that I’ll get pregnant or something if I go out.” 

Eddie laughs, shaking his head. “Parents,” Eddie says. “Such assholes for no reason. That’s all right, don’t worry about it. Maybe we could do something next weekend then?”

You nod. “Definitely.”

Depressed is not a strong enough word to describe how you feel, sitting in your room on the evening of Valentine’s Day, all alone. Throughout the rest of the day at school, you were surrounded by the constant sounds of people making plans with their friends or significant others. You had heard about a couple of parties at various people’s houses, though you let it pass through your mind, knowing there was no possible chance you would be able to go. 

You’re bent over your desk, scribbling notes for your upcoming biology test. You sigh, the feeling of disappointment riddling your body. Though you’ve accepted your parents stance on going out on Valentine’s, still, your mind circulates around what everyone else is doing as you’re locked in your bedroom. 

Your door opens, your mother leaning into your room. “What are you doing?” she asks, her eyes landing on you at your desk. “Homework, I’m not allowed to do much else.” You reply with a huff. You glance at your mother who’s in her pajamas, a robe cloaking her body. She shakes her head, crossing her arms across her chest. “You’ll thank us later when you’re in college and not held back by a child.” 

You shake your head, turning back to your homework that is laid out in front of you. Your mother is impossible. You ignore her while she stands in your bedroom doorway, her eyes sweeping across your room. “Your father and I are going to bed, don’t even think about sneaking out.” She says, placing her hand on the doorknob. She begins to back into the hallway that leads to your room but leans back in before the door completely closes. “And pick up your clothes, this isn’t a pig pen.” Your bedroom door snaps shut. 

You roll your eyes, resting your elbow on the desktop, your hand cradling your head. You shrug the exchange off, not letting your mother’s attitude ruin your night further. You consume yourself with schoolwork until you hear a light knock on your bedroom, jolting you out of your mind. You turn in your chair, squinting to see what made the noise outside. Though it’s pitch dark outside, the sun setting hours ago, you see a figure outside your window. 

You get up from your spot, and as you get closer you notice that it’s only Eddie. Lifting from the bottom of the window, you push your window up, allowing the cold February air flow into your room. “Eddie? What are you doing?” 

Eddie sits atop your roof, holding onto the windowsill to maintain his balance on the roofs sloped structure. His cheeks are flushed pink, the cold numbing his body. “I’m sneaking you out, I was about to knock but your mom rolled into your room, so I waited until she left. You deserve to go out, you always go from school to home to back to school.” 

You lean outside, the smell of fresh air filling your nose, softening your tone to a light whisper in case either of your parents were near. “And you know what she told me when she came in? To not even think about sneaking out.” 

Eddie snorts. “They won’t even know that you went out, I’ll have you back in a little while. Come on, it’ll be fun.” 

Your eyes shift, the fear of your parents opening your door to check if you’re still in there scares you beyond belief. Your parents instilled their beliefs into you without your consent, ensuring that you were the perfect child. You never allowed yourself to cut loose, trying to meet their standards. You debated whether you believed life would allow you to have a little fun with no consequences. “I don’t know, Eddie… my parents really don’t want me going out tonight.” 

Eddie coos, leaning forward to let his fingers brush your cheek. His digits are cold, displaying he’d been outside for a little too long. “You’re such good girl, such a rule follower. Sometimes I feel like I’m corrupting you and feel guilty.” 

You frown. “Don’t feel guilty, I just don’t want to deal with my parents grounding me for months and never letting me see you again.” 

Eddie smiles, his fingers moving away from your cheek and down to your own fingers. His fingertips graze across your knuckles, his fingers beginning to lace into yours. “Trust me, I’ll have you back in just a little bit.” 

You look back into your room, glancing at the door. Your heart beats, nervousness stuck in your throat. You debate, the pros and cons laying themselves out in your mind. You bite your lip, glancing back at Eddie. Since you and Eddie started dating, your dates were limited to directly after school while your parents were still at work or at school sporting events when your parents would allow you to spend time at. Once or twice, you had managed to sneak to Eddie’s house but only for a short while. 

Before you give it too much thought, talking yourself out of it, you fold yourself small enough to crouch through the window. Eddie cheers quietly, his hands pumping in the air, while he wraps an arm around your waist. Together, you and Eddie guide yourself off the roof, and you thank the universe for making your house a short, squatty two-story home. Once you get to the lowest part of the roof, Eddie maneuvers himself down, holding his arms out for you to hold onto while you hop down to the frost covered ground. As you jog from your backyard to the street where Eddie’s large van in parked you say a short prayer, though unlike your parents you don’t have strong feelings for ‘higher power,’ you ask whoever is up there to allow you just one night of fun. 

Eddie’s hand grasps yours, pulling you with excitement. In your slipper covered feet, you make it to Eddie’s van in a short minute. Instantly, Eddie turns the van on, the warm air blowing into the body of the car to warm your chilled body. You cover your mouth, a squeal escaping. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m doing this!” 

Eddie chuckles. “Welcome to the dark side.” 

You smile, fastening your seatbelt. And off you and Eddie go. 

It’s only around 11 o’clock, car headlights flashing past as you and Eddie coast down the Hawkins streets.  As you blow by downtown Hawkins, groups of girls in dresses, flower bouquets in their hands, their boyfriends trailing behind them; you catch a glimpse of what life is like outside of your home and away from your parents. Storefronts and restaurants have pink, paper cutouts of hearts and cupids, the town square demonstrating an appreciation for love day. 

“Where are we going?” you say, glancing at Eddie. 

“The pond by my house; there’s something I want to show you.” Eddie says, glancing back at you. Eddie’s house is on the other side of Hawkins, and you don’t venture their often; your parents claiming it’s ‘the wrong side of the tracks.’ When you went to Eddie’s house, it was only the first and second time you had really been to that side of Hawkins. You live a very sheltered life. 

Eddie turns right onto a dirt path, his headlights lighting up the dark park that surrounds the car. Bare trees, stick branches sticking out in all directions, crowd around in patches, almost blocking the path in which the car drives on. “You aren’t going to kill me are you?” You ask, the dark park giving eerie feelings. 

Eddie laughs, shaking his head. “Now why would I do something like that?” 

You shrug, smiling at the sound of his laugh. Eddie pulls into an unmarked parking spot, the car pointed in the direction of a half-frozen pond. It’s a fairly small pond and you frown at the sight; what did Eddie want to show you here?

Eddie shrugs his jacket off, placing the article of clothing around your shoulders. “What are you doing?” you ask, beginning to slip his jean jacket on. Eddie opens the driver’s side door, letting the cold air rush in. “I told you there’s something I want to show you.” 

“But it’s dark out.” You say with a frown. “What if there are, like, moose out there?”

Eddie frowns, another laugh escaping his lips. “This is Indiana, y/n, I don’t think we have moose here. I’ll keep you safe, come on.” You sigh, opening your door and hoping out of Eddie’s vehicle. 

You follow Eddie, reaching for his hand. You hate the dark, especially in an ambiguous park you’ve never been to before. Eddie follows a path that walks around the length of the small pond, your body staying close to his. After a short walk, Eddie places you in front of him, his hands on your shoulder. He leans close, pointing towards the edge of the pond. “Look,” Eddie says, his cologne radiating off of him. You squint, looking in the direction Eddie points in. When you see what he’s pointing at, you gasp softly. 

At the edge of the pond, almost hidden by the cattails, is a pair of swans, their pure white bodies reflecting the moonlight off them; they almost glow. Their bodies stick out against the dark water, the outlines of the revealed by the bright moonlight. They stay close to each other in the low temperatures, just as you and Eddie stand on the path, their long, thin necks bent around each other. The two swans nuzzle into each other, their black beaks lovingly pecking at each other. 

“I-I’ve never seen swans before,” you say, stepping closer to the edge of the pond to look. Suddenly, you’re no longer afraid of the dark, willing to stand in the dark of the night for hours just to watch the swans love each other.  

“This is where I come to do, uh, business and I noticed them last time I was here. They’re new, they weren’t here before.” Eddie says, watching you become entranced by the large birds. You can’t help but roll your eyes at Eddie mentioning his drug dealing business, but you feel special that Eddie thought to bring you here to see them. 

The pair of swans begin to drift away from the edge, one trailing behind the other, as they glide across the pond. You watch with curiosity, watching as the birds pause directly in front of you and Eddie in the middle of the pond. The front swan turns, angling itself towards the swan that was trailing behind. They stretch their necks, bending until their small heads are pressed against each other, their chests touching, making the outline of a heart with their bodies. “Eddie, look,” you say, your breath getting caught in your throat. 

Eddie pulls your back against his chest, his arm securing itself around your upper body. He leans into you, placing a kiss on your cheek. “Come on,” Eddie whispers, placing a second kiss on the edge of your jaw, a third under your ear on your neck. Eddie gently pulls you in the direction of the car, your eyes trained on the birds. As Eddie tugs your away, you watch as the two birds break apart, the heart broken, and they continue to the other side of the pond, one swan in front of the other. It was almost as if the swans did the display just for you and Eddie. 

Back at the car, Eddie opens the two back doors of the van, gesturing for you to get inside. You frown as you climb in, seating yourself in the bare backseat of Eddie’s car. You shrug Eddie’s jacket off, the warm heat still filling the car. As Eddie follows you into the backseat, he closes the van doors behind him. As he turns to you, Eddie crosses his arms across his body, lifting his Hellfire t-shirt up and off his torso. “Eddie, what are you doing? You’re going to catch a cold-“ you say, as Eddie maneuvers his body to hover over where you sit. Eddie pushes your upper body down with one hand, his other hand parting your legs. All at once you knew where this was going. 

You settle against the car floor, your mouth attaching to Eddie’s, your lips moving in harmony with each other. Your cold hands find their way to Eddie’s chest, your fingertips leaving cool trails across his warm skin. While Eddie presses his lips into yours, he uses his free hand to push your pajama pants down, revealing your naked bottom half underneath. Eddie groans against your mouth, feeling your bare cunt brush across his fingertips. 

You gasp, your mouth parting from Eddie’s. You had never been touched in that part of your body, except for your own hands and fingers, and the feeling was so much better then you could have imagined. Your hand fumbles at Eddie’s waist, attempting to unbuckle his belt. After an unsuccessful attempt, Eddie helps, his lips nipping at yours during the processes. Finally, his belt comes free, Eddie working quickly to unzip his jeans and shrug them off. At the same time, you lift your shirt up and off your body, the cold air that seeps into the car attacking your bare breasts. When Eddie looks back up at you after pulling his pants and boxers off, his eyes go wide like saucers looking at your bare chest. This was the first time Eddie has ever seen you naked, few opportunities throughout the few months you and Eddie have been dating allowed for such an activity. 

With eagerness, Eddie places himself over you, your bare hips meeting his. “Do you want to do this?” Eddie asks, his fingers brushing across your cheek bone. “We don’t have to.” 

You nod, cupping the side of his face with your hand. “I want to. It’s just my, uh, first time is all.” 

Eddie nods, his brows knitting together. “Just tell me if you want to stop; you promise you’ll say if you want to stop?” 

You nod, spreading your legs so Eddie can settle himself between you. “Will you walk me through it?” Eddie nods, his tender touches ensuring he’ll protect you the entire time. 

“Are you ready? I’ll push myself in now; it might sting a little bit, but I’ll go slow.” Eddie holds himself in his hand, leaning on his arm. Eddie is surpised to find that your body is already slick with arousal for him, the discovery turning him on beyond belief. 

You lean your head back against the floor, your eyes watching Eddie’s movement. “I’m ready.” You inhale, exhale, and Eddie pushes himself into you with ease. You gasp, your body working to adjust to Eddie’s large size. Your eyes flutter shut, the pleasurable pain coursing through you. “Are you all right?” Eddie asks, his hand cradling your head against his arm that he props himself up on. 

“You can move, I’m okay.” You say, your arms wrapping around his body. Eddie leans over you, placing a kiss on your jaw again. “You’re so beautiful, I feel like I don’t tell you often enough.” Eddie says, his eyes grazing across your face. 

You laugh. “You tell me every day.” 

Eddie shakes his head, his fingertips brushing across the outline of your lips. “That’s not often enough.” You blush, your mind blank. Eddie refocuses, rocking his hips against yours. Underneath him you groan, the pain starting to turn into pleasure. You wrap your legs around Eddie’s waist, feeling a need to be as close as possible to him. Though the car is cold, you and Eddie’s bodies become slick with a light layer of sweat, your core burning at the bottom of your stomach. 

Eddie buries his face into the crook of your neck, mumbling mindlessly as he becomes lost in the intertwining of your bodies. “You feel so good,” Eddie says clearly, his warm breath fanning against your skin. You whine, the feeling of Eddie rocking against you building pressure in your lower half. You aren’t coherent enough to form words, everything coming out in a mumble, as you begin to unravel under Eddie, your mind and body in a complete trance from Eddie’s touch. 

Eddie ducks his head away from your neck, leaving a few kisses in his wake as he trails down to your breasts. Swiftly, he cups one of your breasts into his large, rough hand, placing his mouth around your nipple. Your back arches in response, your hand leaving his back to entangle itself into his hair. You mewl, words beginning to form on your tongue. 

“Oh, Eddie.” You whisper, your fingers closing with locks of his hair in your hand. Unlatching his mouth from your nipple, Eddie trails kisses back up your chest, up the front of your throat. You lean your head back, silently asking Eddie to not stop. 

Every touch Eddie lays on your skin brings you further to the edge, his strokes slowing down and speeding up in the perfect rhythm. You don’t care if your parents know you’ve snuck out of the house, you don’t care if Hawkins police is cruising around  the streets looking for you, you know you’ve met heaven where you lay underneath Eddie, your legs parted just for him. 

The muscles of your cunt clench around Eddie, the pressure bringing Eddie closer with each stroke. Eddie buries his head in your neck again, your fingers still intertwined in his hair. You whine underneath him, mumbling mindlessly, turning Eddie on further and further. Eddie’s head fills with dirty ideas, with ways he wants to fold you, different places he wants to fuck you, but he knows there will be plenty of times in the future to explore his thoughts. 

With a few strokes, Eddie curls against you, a low grunt leaving his mouth as he releases into the depth of your cunt, your body arching as you finish too, the feeling of his body pressed against yours bringing to the brink. 

Eddie pulls himself from you, instantly cradling you in his arms. Placing a kiss on your temple, Eddie nudges into you. “Are you okay? Anything hurt?” 

You shake your head, the warmth of his body against yours feeling nice.  “It felt great.” Is all you can manage to say between breaths. Eddie laughs, his fingertips trailing across your skin. “You’re telling me.” 

The ride back to your house was fast, too fast for your liking, and you stand in your backyard underneath your bedroom window. All the lights in your house were dark, your parents’ bedroom at the front of the house dark, no movement behind their shut curtains. You and Eddie really pulled it off. 

Eddie kneels in the wet grass, making himself a stepping tool. You hold onto his shoulder, using his thigh as a steppingstone to your low roof. With a little upper body strength, you ease your way onto your roof, Eddie standing up from the kneeling position to help guide your legs. After, Eddie maneuvers his way on to the roof with ease. He ushers you up, lifting your cracked window open enough for you to sneak into. You climb into your room as quietly as possible, your eyes looking towards your bedside table, your small analog clock reading “2:50 AM.” 

You turn to the window, Eddie crouching down just as he had when he appeared in your window earlier that night. “See? Just like you never left.” 

You smile. “I had a great time, thank you.” You lean out the window, placing a kiss on Eddie’s cheek. “Go before you catch a cold.” Eddie nods, his eyes lingering on you. 

“Oh, wait.” Eddie whispers, reaching his hand behind his back. “I almost forgot to give you this.” Eddie places a single red rose on your windowsill, a light blush tinting his cheeks. You pick the flower up, lifting it to smell it’s fragrant petals. Your heart swells, the kind gesture making you feel warm. 

“I feel bad, I didn’t get you anything for Valentine’s.” 

Eddie shrugs. “You are already the greatest gift.” Eddie leans forward again, catching your lips against his. Then, swiftly, Eddie maneuvers across your roof, waving goodbye as he dodges across your backyard.  

You linger by the window, wondering if you’re in a dream, the night too perfect for words. After a minute, you tuck yourself under your bedsheets, the warmth warning your tingling limbs. As you lay, the rose placed on your bedside table, you hear footsteps coming towards your room. You let your eyes flutter shut, relaxing your body as if you were asleep. 

You hear the doorknob turn, the door cracking open. “See,” you hear your father say, the floor creaking under his weight. The door opens wider, your dad allowing your mother to peer into your room. “She’s still in here, not acting like a hooligan in the dark of the night.” 

You hear your mother hum, the sound of her bracelets clinking as she crosses her arm. “I swear I just heard two voices talking.”

Your father scoffs and you can imagine him shaking his head. You hear their footsteps moving towards the hallway and out of your room. You hear your bedroom door begin to close. “You need to start trusting her more, she’s not the type to be inclined to sneak out in the middle of the night…” you hear your dad say, the rest of his sentence muffled by your closed bedroom door.

You can’t help but smile against your sheets, the memories of Eddie’s mouth planted on yours, his fingertips dragging across your bare skin, the image of the two swans making a heart out of their bodies against the dark of the night. Perhaps it was a good thing you parents didn’t know what you were capable of doing.  

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Yandere diaries. || Toby x reader. A new (possible) series I got the idea to do of the creeps doing diaries showing them gradually becoming yandere.

3k words. CW: Yandere, adult content (mentions of arousal and references to masturbation), descriptions of violence and gore, unhealthy relationships, severe abuse, delusions, Toby slipping into insanity and also being an unhonest/unreliable narrator with how awful he’s being.

4/26/22 -

I met someone new today! We bumped into each other at a park I like to go to on Earth. They were so kind to me. We ended up getting ice cream together and exchanging numbers. I hope I can see them again soon.

5/11/22 -

I’ve been able to see them a couple more times. We’ve been messaging regularly, and have also called a couple of times. I’ve never felt so connected to someone so quickly before. We have a lot in common, and they don’t even mind any of my tics or odd quirks. We have a plan to meet up this weekend and go to the movies together, I’m really looking forward to it. I hope we continue to be friends with each other for a long time!

5/14/22 -

I just got home. We had such a fun time at the movies! We saw one of the more recent horror films together. They got scared partway through and clung onto me to feel better, and it made me feel really happy and protective over them. I wouldn’t mind seeing more horror movies with them in the future if it means that they’d do that again. We haven’t known each other very long, but I feel so connected and interested in them, I feel sparks every time they touch me. Is this what falling in love feels like?

6/21/22 -

I haven’t been able to see them for a few weeks because of our schedule differences. I feel like I’ve been excessively sad because of that. I just feel like my life is so much dimmer without them. I wanna go to the park with them again, eat ice cream, and curl up under a tree with them. I wish I could be with them every day.

7/29/22 -

We haven’t known each other for a very long time, but I’m certain they’re the person I’m meant to be with for the rest of my life. They make me the happiest I’ve ever felt, they understand me like nobody has ever understood me before, I just feel so carefree and excited in their presence. I think they might feel the same way about me too. I need to try my best to build up some courage and ask them to be my partner before someone else can.

8/11/22 -

I asked them on a date and they said yes!! I’ve never felt more excited than I am right now!! We’re going on our first date in a few days. I need to make sure I have a nice outfit to wear because I want to take them somewhere nice to eat, and then we’re gonna go for a walk together and stargaze. My life truly feels so complete and wonderful right now, I feel like I’m finally on a path to keep getting better with them in my life!

11/24/22 -

I haven’t been dating them very long, but I convinced Slender to allow me to invite them to Thanksgiving dinner. Normally we have to date our partners for a year, but I just know our relationship is going to work out, so I don’t feel the need to wait that long. They had so much fun meeting everyone, and they were happy the whole time. I felt a bit jealous that they didn’t pay as much attention to me, but that’s okay because there were so many new people they had to meet. I’m sure next time I invite them over they won’t pay anyone else any attention. I’m looking forward to having them over here more often!

12/14/22 -

I got into an argument with Jeff today. I had them over to visit me, and I stepped away for a minute to get us some snacks and Jeff so rudely decided to try and steal their attention from me. It isn’t fair! He was trying to make them laugh and hang out with him instead of me!! I got really angry and I started yelling at him, and he yelled back at me, claiming he wasn’t doing anything wrong. He’s not allowed to just walk up to them and act like they’re buddy-buddy. They’re my partner, and they’re here for me. Nobody else has the right to their attention but me.

12/25/22 -

I got to celebrate my first Christmas with them today. We spent a little bit of time downstairs with the others, but then I wanted to bring them upstairs to my room so we could be together alone. I gave them a bracelet with our names on it so that everyone would know they belonged to someone, and they seemed to like it. However, I got a bit upset at them. They said they had to go home so they could celebrate with their friends and family too, but aren’t I good enough? Aren’t I their family now? It doesn’t make any sense to me why they couldn’t just stay at the mansion, but I let them go. I’ll have a talk with them about this later.

1/24/23 -

We had another argument again. They have this friend that keeps overstepping his boundaries and I don’t appreciate it. He’s been hogging their attention recently and hanging out with them more and it’s seriously fucking pissing me off. They wouldn’t stop talking to him so I had to lie to them about him to finally get them to back off from him a bit. I wouldn’t normally want to do that, but it’s for their own good. Nobody should be hogging them away from me that much. Their friends are lucky I even allow them to talk with my dove at all. I think that’s what I’ll start calling them, now that I think about it. My sweet, soaring Dove.

2/17/23 -

I ended up getting into a fight with one of Dove’s friends. I was trying to make sure I could spend Valentine’s with Dove, but this friend wanted to be able to see them that day since he’s going on a trip soon or some other stupid excuse. It pissed me off. IM their boyfriend, that day is for US. I confronted him to get him to back off but he had the nerve to stand his ground. I had to beat the shit out of him to get him to understand his place. It’s been three days, and apparently, he hasn’t contacted them since. Good. One less pest I have to worry about. Dove was a little suspicious when I came home with torn-up knuckles that day, but I just told them it happened during training and they believed me. They even took the time and care to bandage me up. They really are so special to me. Nobody else can have them.

3/18/23 -

I’ve never really thought much about blood before. When it’s on myself or my victims, I’ve never really cared about it, I’ve actually usually thought it was gross, but it was different today. Dove got this gash when we were out on a hike from tripping and slicing their arm on a sharp rock. Normally the blood wouldn’t have bothered me, but it was just so pretty. The red spreading across their skin was just so alluring. Of course, I got them cleaned off and patched up as soon as I could, but my heart is racing just remembering it. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I hope they get cut again soon. I have to confirm if this feeling inside me is real or just a one-off.

3/28/23 -

It wasn’t a one-off. We were cooking, and they were using one of our sharper knives. My curiosity got the better of me, and I “accidentally” bumped into them from behind. They ended up cutting themself, and their blood was just as alluring today, flowing freely out of their finger. I ended up putting their finger in my mouth to suck the blood off, and I’ve never tasted something so intoxicating before. They were a bit confused, but I just played it off and they let it go. Holy shit. I feel like I have to taste it again. I have to. The red on their skin, the metallic lingering taste in my mouth. It’s so addicting. It honestly made me a bit excited, I had to take a moment to myself so they wouldn’t notice.

4/16/23 -

I bit them. We were making out, and I just felt myself getting so worked up. I pinned them down on my mattress, and I started kissing down Dove’s neck. I couldn’t help it, my heart was beating so fast and I felt myself getting dizzy, and I bit them really hard. Their skin was so soft in my mouth, and blood started oozing out, running against my teeth and my tongue, and my lips, it was so warm and exciting, it felt like I was getting drunk. Dove didn’t like it though. They screamed and cried and begged me to stop, and I didn’t want to, but I did. I bandaged them up and apologized and feigned innocence. They said they wanted to go home early, so I took them to not get on their bad side anymore. I was so worked up though. I had to take care of myself when I got home, I was just so turned on. I have to do it again somehow. They won’t like it, but I have to. Nothing has ever felt so pleasing before.

4/29/23 -

I tried to bite them again, and they realized it wasn’t an accident this time. They yelled at me and hit me to get me off of them, and I hit them back much harder. They looked so broken and upset while they cried, but their tears and screams got me just as turned on as their blood did. The bruise that formed on their cheek was so beautiful. I held them close and apologized a whole bunch because I don’t want them to hate me. I cried a lot and I meant it. I promised I wouldn’t do it again, which I guess I didn’t mean. However, they can’t just disobey me like that. I need to try and be on my best behavior so they can be more relaxed around me. I can’t have them fighting back every time I want to do something to them.

5/09/23 -

I think my Dove needs to be caged. They’ve gotten so used to flying free that they need to be grounded and brought back to reality. I keep trying to limit their interactions with others because they keep poisoning my Dove against me, and Dove tried to fight me today. We got in a big yelling match, but I was able to calm myself down in the nick of time so that I didn’t make things worse. I got them to calm down, and we’re gonna have some space between us for a few weeks. I think I’m going to take this opportunity to my advantage.

5/30/23 -

While we haven’t been spending time together, I’ve been working hard. I found an old house in the Underworld for cheap, and I’ve been rebuilding it and fixing it up. I altered it to be able to hold Dove in without their escape, and I’m so excited about it. I’ve got a bedroom I’m setting up for them, and a nice kitchen because they’ve always liked cooking with me. I know Dove is going to love it so much when I bring them here in a few weeks. It’s going to be the best thing for us. Dove is too innocent about the world around them, and I have to be able to protect them. Nobody else can do a better job than I can.

6/08/23 -

[Parts of the entry have been torn. Words are smudged or crossed out and it is not completely legible, but some of it remains visible. *Full translation will be added at the end for those that use translators/text to speech.]

I CAN'T FU—— BELI— TH—!! DOVE WAS TRY— TO MOVE!! THEY W— TRYING TO LE—E ME!! THAT STU— BASTARD [Redacted] TRIED TO TA— THEM F—M ME! WHEN ALL IVE ———— IS PROTECT TH— AND THIS IS —— REPAY ME?!? I'VE NEVER BE— SO ANGRY!!!

Dove is FUCKING LU—Y I had the home re—y! If not, I wo—d’ve just thrown th— in the fucki— basement!!! [Redacted] got wh— they deser—. I be— the- so bad you —— —king recognize —. I’ll du— the bo— som—ere else.

7/06/23 -

Dove hasn’t been making things any easier. Since they last tried to move away things have been such a fucking pain in the ass. They were so scared when I locked them in here. I wanted it to be a warm welcome, where I’d bring them here voluntarily, but they had to go and ruin it because of [Redacted] sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong. They tried to run away a few days ago, and I went to write about it but I was so fucking pissed I ripped the page to shreds. I had to break their ankles so that they wouldn’t be able to run again, least not for a long while. I’ve also been keeping them tied up more, but it’s easier now that they can’t walk. The bruises on their legs are just so beautiful. I think I might keep them like this, even though they cry every day from the pain and the circumstances, but their tears are beautiful as well. I have to get more painkillers soon for them.

10/18/23 -

It’s been a while since I’ve updated. Things have been going smoother lately. Every time Dove’s ankles start to heal, I’ve been breaking them again. I just can’t trust them because they tried to escape again. I’ve been enjoying myself a lot more. I can bite them and cut them and hit them whenever I want to. I can taste their blood and chew their skin and bruise their beautiful body however I like. Of course, sometimes it makes me sad when Dove gets so upset about it. I don’t know what to do. It gets me so turned on and riled up like nothing ever has before, but I also want them to love me. They haven’t been fighting back anymore, so I think they’re getting used to it. We’ll see.

12/25/23 -

It’s our second Christmas together. I got Dove a bunch of things they asked for since they’ve been so good. They seem to have given up hope of resisting me, and it’s made me so happy. They even made me a cake for Christmas, and it was so delicious. I’m so happy we can be together again like this, just a happy couple with no interruptions. It’s truly the best gift I could have received this year.

2/16/24 -

I’ve been letting Dove’s ankles and legs fully heal. They truly haven’t been trying anything, and they’ve been so devoted to being a good partner for me, I don’t think I need to break them anymore to teach them a lesson. They can nearly stand on their own now, and they seem so happy. They said it’s because they can hug me while standing, and that made me so happy to hear. We’ve started cooking together again. We’re becoming a happy family, and I’m so glad I was right that Dove is the one for me. They even let me bite them as much as I wanted today, and they let me scratch them too, they didn’t even cry out today. I could tell they were trying really hard, so it made me very happy.

4/25/24 -

Things have still been going well. Their legs have healed up perfectly. It’s been five months since I last broke them, and I think they’re so grateful for it. They don’t disobey me, they do everything I ask, they’re so affectionate and loving with me. It makes me so happy to know that they’re truly settling into life with me. I don’t think they mind how much I hurt them anymore. They don’t complain as much, but they still cry those same beautiful tears for me. I think they’re starting to enjoy it.

5/26/24 -

I have to go on an extended trip for a week soon because of work and I’m nervous. They said they’ll wait happily for me, but I’m still so, so nervous. However, earlier this month I was gone for a few days and they didn’t go anywhere. Dove actually welcomed me back happily. I think we’ll be okay. I think this is it, the true test. I know they’ll pass, but still, I can’t quiet the anxiety in my heart. I’ll have to spend as much time as possible with them and get out all my excitement before I have to leave. I’m going to miss the feeling of their skin beneath my fingers and teeth.

6/11/24 -

[This page has also been smeared and torn in anger. *Another fully corrected version will be at the bottom.]

I — FUCKING BE—VE THEY DI- TH— AG—!!! THEY R— AW—!! THE- STOL- SO MU— —IT FRO- ME!! THEY TO— THE MO—Y I HA- HIDDEN!!!! THE- TOOK FO— AN- CLO—— AN- LEFT!! I- SO FUCK—- ANGRY!!! I'LL K— THEM!!! I JUS- MIGH- FUCK— KIL- THEM!!! AT TH- VER- LEA— THEY— NEVE- WAL- AGAIN! WHEN I ———— NEVER ES— AGAIN! LOCKS, CA—S, CHA—S!! WHAT—— IT TAKES!!!!!!

Dove, you’d better pray to —y FUCKING DIETY in EXIST—— THAT I DON- FIN- —U!!! When I d-, you’re goin- to su——— much for do— th— to me.

--

6/08/23 -

I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS!! DOVE WAS TRYING TO MOVE!! THEY WERE TRYING TO LEAVE ME!! THAT STUPID BASTARD [Redacted] TRIED TO TAKE THEM FROM ME! WHEN ALL IVE FUCKING DONE HERE IS PROTECT THEM AND THIS IS HOW THEY REPAY ME?!? I'VE NEVER BEEN SO ANGRY!!!

Dove is FUCKING LUCKY I had the home ready! If not, I would’ve just thrown them in the fucking basement!!! [Redacted] got what they deserved. I beat them so bad you can't even fucking recognize them. I’ll dump the body somewhere else.

6/11/24 -

I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THEY DID THIS AGAIN!!! THEY RAN AWAY!! THEY STOLE SO MUCH SHIT FROM ME!! THEY TOOK THE MONEY I HAD HIDDEN!!!! THEY TOOK FOOD AND CLOTHES AND LEFT!! IM SO FUCKING ANGRY!!! I'LL KILL THEM!!! I JUST MIGHT FUCKING KILL THEM!!! AT THE VERY LEAST THEY'LL NEVER WALK AGAIN! WHEN I CATCH UP THEY WILL NEVER ESCAPE AGAIN! LOCKS, CAGES, CHAINS!! WHATEVER IT TAKES!!!!!!

Dove, you’d better pray to every FUCKING DIETY in EXISTENCE THAT I DON'T FIND YOU!!! When I do, you’re going to suffer so much for doing this to me.

[ihrthoney]

love isn’t enough

pairing: club owner ran haitani x f!reader

warnings: angst, hurt/no comfort

word count: 1.5k

an: first post being back on tumblr! this is a remake of my old work from my old blog!

Ignorance truly is bliss…

but only if you’re stupid.

It was obvious, the signs were as clear as day. Although, love was always so blinding. While you were watching the clouds and enjoying the summer breeze, his eyes followed the birds flying in the other direction. 

There weren’t any lipstick stains on his clothes nor did he stay out later than normal. If there was a faint scent of perfume following him as he walked towards the shower, you brushed it off. Clubs are always full of people, some scents are just stronger than most. 

That’s what you would've continued telling yourself had it not been a smell you learned to get used to. Every night that he came home from work, he smelled vaguely of that same perfume. It could be a regular or a worker who walks past him throughout the night.

You weren’t stupid. As much as you wished you were, you weren’t. 

The perfume wasn’t the only thing you caught on to. Unfortunately, it took weeks for the smell to become something you’ve recognized or rather, something you chose to accept.

Just last week, Ran was off and you guys decided to spend the day in bed and binging shows. That night, you surprised Ran by renting a movie he wanted to see for a while but missed because of work. During the most interesting part, he got a call and usually, he ignored the noise but this time he didn’t hesitate to grab his phone and leave the room. 

You couldn’t remember the last time a work call lasted two hours. While the contact name on the screen said Rindou, you knew better than to believe it. 

He clearly knew how to cover his tracks, his behavior didn’t change, not drastically anyway. His phone didn’t suddenly have a password nor did he try to hide who he was texting. Just like you, he wasn’t an idiot. But as time went on, he must’ve mistook you for one.

You and Ran had been dating since you guys were 18. There’s nothing you don’t know about him, you know him better than yourself sometimes. Any changes in his behavior you notice immediately, he wasn’t as slick as he thought he was. 

Despite everything pointing to the tragic truth that Ran was having an affair, you were waiting for him to admit it. It felt unfair to break it off and be left uneven while he was already filling the void.

Years of your life had been devoted to him, you supported him with everything you could give. From cleaning his wounds after gang fights to watching his (and his brothers’) club succeed.

Would there have been a hole in his heart if you left? When did he stop loving you? Why couldn’t he have just broken it off? 

Endless questions were filling your head. It’s been about 3 months since you noticed the perfume. The denial gets harder to run from, reality starts to slowly consume you. 

You wouldn’t allow yourself to get caught up in it now, so instead of wallowing away in the empty house you got dressed and ventured into town. 

Of course, it didn’t help in the slightest; everything reminded you of Ran, and the realization that your relationship was coming to an end hurt so much. You walk the streets alone and are reminded of the night of your first date. Hands intertwined, leaning on his shoulder and laughing about something you could no longer remember, you stared at him like he just offered you the world.

“You’re nothing like they say Ran Haitani.” You laughed, you guys are hand in hand, your apartment just a few blocks down.

“What? Am I even more handsome in person?” He says smugly, only half joking.

At that comment, you drop his hand, “Never mind, you’re exactly as they said.” you jokingly say.

“Nah, I’m even better.” Ran remarks. Using your linked hands, he pulls you both to a stop. 

He looks at you for a little bit, the sound of cars faint in the background, and the moonlight softly reflects on his face, “You are so beautiful.”

His voice was so soft, so gentle. As flustered as you were at the compliment, you couldn’t pull your eyes from his.

“I had a really good time with you tonight, yn.” His hand parts from yours and softly cradles your face.

“May I?” At that moment, you would’ve given him anything he could’ve possibly wanted.

You nod in response and he wastes no time in connecting your lips. 

You were so caught up in the memory that you didn’t see the person in front of you. The woman slightly stumbles at your shoulders making contact. You open your mouth, apology at the tip of your tongue when you notice a man next to her.

Suddenly, the world went quiet. The coffee shop you had entered was nothing but a blur as your vision zones onto the man holding the woman’s waist. 

His eyes widen at the sight of you. He was supposed to be at work.

Before an excuse could even form, you turned around and walked straight back home, not daring to look back. 

He was having an affair. There wasn’t enough time to analyze the woman he was with, your mind was too busy swallowing the confirmed suspicions. 

You knew he was cheating, but a small part of you had foolishly clung to the hope that it was just a misunderstanding. Several emotions coursed through your body at once, millions of thoughts raced through your head. Yet, you couldn’t feel a thing. 

So many scenarios played out in your head that you thought you would feel angrier, burn his clothes, and trash the house. But, you couldn’t move a single limb. Instead, you sat quietly on the couch, the apartment dark and even emptier than you left it despite nothing being touched.

There’s a soft click that brings you out of your daze. You hear him take off his shoes and walk towards the living room. With every step, your heartbeat starts to quicken. 

The dread makes your stomach sink, suddenly you feel nauseous. You’re scared, you’re so fucking scared, this wasn’t supposed to be the end. Years of your life will be nothing but a memory and he’ll be someone you have to remember longer than you’ve known.

From the corner of your eye, you can see Ran sitting on a chair at the dining table. 

Without looking at him, you speak. “You’re a coward.” 

There was so much you wanted to say, even more to ask, but the only emotion you could feel was anger. 

“I know.” He said it so quietly, as if speaking any louder would shatter the tension in the air.

You waited to see if he would say more, but he didn’t. The silence was deafening as if the apartment was absent of any soul. 

Swallowing your pride, you spoke up again, “Why didn’t you just break up with me.” 

Ran answered honestly, “I don’t know.”

“I deserve better than an “I don’t know”, Ran.” You argued, gaze moving from the tv screen.

For the first time in months, you see him. This wasn’t the man you fell in love with, but rather the shell of him.

Cruelly, he says, “You deserve everything.” 

The tears were starting to burn your eyes, he didn’t deserve your tears, “Don’t, Ran.”

“There’s nothing that I could say that’ll make any of this better. I cheated on you.”

The tension in the air snapped, and your tears started to spill over despite fighting to hold them back. You knew; you saw it with your own eyes, but to hear him actually admit it hurt that much more. There’s no coming back from this, the man you love no longer loves you. 

“How long?” The eye contact between you two never falters. 

“Four months.”

He had been out with another woman for four months. It makes you sick to know he still came back home. You can’t help that sob that chokes out, “Why Ran?”

Ran stands up at the sound of you crying, but you move from the couch and step deeper into the living room. 

“I didn’t want to live without you.” He admits.

At this point you’re sobbing, “That’s so fucking stupid!”

“I don’t love you anymore, yn. But I didn’t know how to let you go. You’ve been in my life since we were 18. I doubt we could’ve been friends-” You interrupt him.

“That’s so unfair! You don’t get to make that choice for me! Maybe you’re right, we probably wouldn’t have been able to be friends after everything but cheating was your next option?” He’s silent at that.

The silence doesn’t last long though, “Get out, Ran.”

There’s so much you want to know, though, your heart wouldn’t be able to handle any more pain. 

Without another word, he turns and walks to the door, taking half of your heart with him.

© ihrthoney. reblogs & feedback are greatly appreciated𑁤

[outsideratheart]

Home Part 2 (Alexia Putellas x reader)

A/N: Sorry it’s taken me so long to get this next part out but writer’s block has been a bitch.

You spent much longer mingling and people pleasing than you had hoped. The plan was to do a quick lap of the room then spend the night with you family only that didn’t happen. At first you were worried about Alexia, with her being in an environment that was unfamiliar and surrounded by people she didn’t know but every time you looked over you found her having a blast with your sister in laws. You wonder if she missed your presence but that question was quickly answered when you returned to her.

The Cruyffs; present, future and Alexia were all at the bar. She feels you beside her and just as she turns around someone pushes into you and you find yourself very close to Alexia.

“Hello you” you whisper. 

With the close proximity you could smell Alexia’s perfume. It was your perfume which she must have taken from your bag when you wasn’t looking. 

“Have you done your duties?” Alexia asks and you nods your head, a smirk tugging at your lips “then you can have another one of these?” 

She takes a shot from your brother and hands it to you. It seems that Alexia’s new found comfort was all thanks to the liqueur which you knew is drank by the bottle at events like this.

“Thank you” you take the shot without breaking eye contact.

Even after the mouthful of alcohol you cannot take your eyes off Alexia. She truly did look beautiful. This event had been the reason for so much anxiety but since touching down in the city you barely felt any of it and you knew that the reason was the woman standing in front of you.  You wasn’t feeling grief and you wasn’t consumed by the past. Alexia made you focus on the present and you cannot remember being this happy in years.

“I think we should leave” you whisper in her ear. Your hand sat dangerously low on her back.

“Why would you want to do that?” Alexia asks and you can tell that she genuinely wanted to stay.

“Because there’s things I want to do and I can’t do them here” 

“And what would that be?” Alexia again asked a question but the change in her tone told you she knew exactly what was going through your mind. She also have the confidence given the confession Liv and Mia made earlier.

“Let me take you home and I will show you” 

At this point Alexia pulls away to get a better look at you and to see if your being serious but with the hold you have on her you are able to pull her back towards you. 

“Not to interrupt your moment” Luuk says apologetically

“Again” Jordi adds earning a slap from you.

His words gain the attention of the others. No doubt them all wondering what he meant by again.

“You know the rules Y/N. The children have to stay till 11 then we are free to go” 

“2 hours” Alexia says after looking at her watch.

“Me and Jordi normally leave earlier than that and leave Luuk to deal with mum” 

You and Jordi share a look. He may technically be older but the two of you are like twins and your mother knows best than to force to be somewhere you don’t want to be. She did it before and you both caused havoc which lead to you father kicking you out of the event.

“Give it an hour then we will sneak out” 

Alexia nods her head wondering whether or not the next hour will pass by quickly or if it will drag. It wasn’t a thought that lasted long because you pulled her to the dance floor. It wasn’t like a dance floor at a club but the Cruyffs knew how to have a good time so there were plenty of guests dancing the night away. It meant you and her were able to blend in without bringing too much attention.

The idea of dancing came from an innocent place, well a mostly innocent place. You wanted to find a way to pass time but the intention soon changed when you found yourself dancing against Alexia and felt her hand on your lower abdomen. It wasn’t dirty dancing but it was enough to flood your mind with less than innocent thoughts. 

“Stop” you lean back so Alexia can hear you.

“I’m not doing anything” 

Whilst she was right, she also couldn’t be more wrong.

You could feel her breath on your neck, it was overwhelming. 

“We’re leaving. Now” you grab her hand pulling her towards the exit. You couldn’t care less what you mother would say about your early departure. The only thing you cared about was the Catalonian beauty you were about to take home.

The car ride was filled with anticipation. Very few words were exchanged and truth be told neither of you had a lot to say. Enough had been said and from the words that had been spoken, you and Alexia were able to read between the lines.

You grab Alexia’s hand the moment you are through the door as you lead her upstairs to your bedroom, to the room the two of you were to share for night. 

This wasn’t you first time nor was it Alexia’s but you weren’t in any rush.

“Will you help me, porfa?” Alexia asks. 

The brunette turns around and pulls her hair to the side to give you better access to the zip of her dress. Given that she had already taken off her heels, you k=now had the height advantage. You stood behind her but instead of undoing her dress like Alexia asked, you rest you hands on her hips and place a soft kiss to the side of her neck. 

“Don’t tease” Alexia makes no effort to move, instead relishing in the feeling that is your lips against her skin.

“As you wish” with one last kiss you turn you attention back to the zip making sure to take your time. Once you are done you tap Alexia on her hip assuming that she plans on going to the bathroom to take it off only that isn’t her plan.

“Take it off” Alexia turns to face you. 

Her eyes are dark and you see the lust growing within them. She wants what you want yet you find yourself hesitating. You hand sits on her shoulder, on the top of the material of her dress but you make no move to rid her of it. 

“What are you waiting for? Is something wrong?” 

“I’m taking in the moment in case it never happens again” 

It took a second for Alexia to recognise the look in your eye. It was a mixture of uncertainty and insecurity. She wasn’t sure if you would believe her words so she showed you how much the moment meant to her. The brunette leans forward and gently placed her lips on your own. There is no hunger or desperation. The kiss slow but filled with more passion than either of you had ever experienced before. 

With a new found confidence and a focus on the present you pull the straps down exposing her perfect body. Once the dress is on the ground you take her hand and help her out of it. 

She stands in front of you in nothing but a black lace matching set. 

“You. Are. Beautiful” you tell her, each word followed by a kiss to her lips. 

“Can I?” Alexia asks as she plays with the fabric on the front of your dress. 

It seemed only fair that you let her undress you so you nod in agreement and before you know you are both standing in nothing but your underwear. 

“I want you Y/N. I have since the first night I met you. I only wish I would have told you sooner” 

“I’m right here and I’m all yours” no words had ever been more true than these in this very moment. 

Hearing you say those words was like music to Alexia’s ears. It was a sweet melody at the beginning on the song that would be your first night together.

This woman who you had known for less than a year knew your body as if it was her own. Each movement made you want more. Every touch set your body on fire and every kiss make you believe that the love you saw in movies was possible. She knew just what to do for you to reach a new climatic height and you in suit showed her just how much you worshipped her body.

Your bodies collapsed on the bed a couple of hours later and it seemed to be perfect timing because just as Alexia laid her head on your chest, you heard the rest of the family come through the front door. Knowing that they wouldn’t come in, you made no effort to move and you tightened your hold on Alexia so that she didn’t move either.

 As you lay there the silence caused your mind to wander and to no surprise of your own it goes back over the intimacy you and Alexia had just shared.

Alexia felt the hitch in your breath. She adjusts her position and sees you staring deeply at the ceiling. 

“Hola, what’s going on in the beautiful head of yours?” 

You didn’t feel her move but you certainly wasn’t complaining about the closeness that Alexia was currently in.

“Did that—does this—“ You didn’t want to finish either sentence because you knew that there was a chance Alexia would answer in the worst way possible.

“You told me you’re mine and now I’m telling you that I’m yours Y/N, there is nobody else out there for me. That much I know is true”

“I was hoping you’d say something like that” 

The woman laid back down in your arms and remained quiet. It took a couple of minutes for you to realise it was because she had fallen asleep, clearly exhausted by the nights events.

The smile that tugs on your lips is out of your control. It seemed to be a theme with Alexia. She had all the control, all the power and held all the cards. You didn’t have a choice in falling for her, nor did you have a choice when she became the highlight of your day. Her company is the one your crave for. For Alexia you let your heart lead and it lead you to her.

[pentrologram]

What Normal People Do - 8

You're so, so pissed.

warning/cw for user having a panic attack- basically hurt no comfort

never mentioning how long it takes for me to write a chapter again because wow hi guys it's been two months... i'll be real, it's not my best work, but if i try to nitpick anymore this chapter'll be out when i graduate haha (additional: this is day 25 of my advent calendar! i know this was supposed to be out on christmas day, i'm sorry, i'm sick 😭)

ao3!

ghost/soap/gn!reader (established ghoap)

(Why Did I Like You? Breaking it Off)

Your realization is a scary one.

It takes you taking an Uber home, collapsing in your bed and passing out and waking up before you realize the consequences:

Holy fuck, you loved them.

Them being a couple.

An established couple.

Who got along like water in a stream.

You came to another realization not too shortly after: there’s no way in hell you can tell them if you want your friendship to remain the same. And if you don’t want them to think of you as a creep- because that’s exactly how you feel. 

You feel like a creep, wanting to be a part of their undoubtedly closed, private relationship, wanting to get closer than what’s acceptable, at least in your head. You don’t know when or how or why these feelings have arisen- all you know is that they are just there. And you certainly don’t appreciate them at all.

No, you determine yourself to push down these frankly irrelevant feelings. There’s no use for them by either party, anyway.

Little do you know that on the other side of the plaster and drywall , Johnny’s feeling the same as you .

He’s a lot less in denial about his feelings than you are, though. He came to terms with his feelings a long while ago, and he’s been a lot less subtle about his feelings, too. What with the way he had snuck food from his plate to your own when you ate dinner with them just because you said you liked a certain dish or how he had stopped you from paying for anything while at the countless (literally, countless) art fairs you had been dragged to or the hopelessly-in-love looks he gave you from the other side of a room.

However, much like you, he’s scared.

He’s been stockpiling, hoarding random facts about you and committing them to his memory, just to randomly delight you with something you assume he’d forgotten .

He and Simon have had thirds before, multiple times. People that had left well before morning, whatever. They’d never seen anyone like you before—sweet, little you. You who had barged into their hearts with your broken one, nestled deep, curled up and settled.

Still, he’s scared. He and Simon had never talked about their relationship like that before, because they never needed to.

You, though, were making him question things. He had always thought- assumed?- that Simon was the one and only person for him. Only Simon could fill a persistent ache in his heart, could soothe his overactive mind and lull him into rest. However, when you came along, suddenly Johnny felt the same way he had when he first met Simon. Suddenly, he was poking the bear that was the 6’4 masked Lieutenant in base after being transferred into the 141, giddy off of boyish nerves and fickle puppy love that soon turned into something more.

Suddenly, you make Johnny feel as though he’s a lot younger than he is.

And don’t get him wrong, it’s bloody amazing . He adores you- well and truly , he does. He’s scared of how Simon will react, though.

He and Simon are birds of a feather, really, and he knows that Simon likes you a fair amount. The real question is if Simon thought of you the way Johnny did, or if to him, you were just a good friend. It’s that thought that makes Johnny scared- that if he introduced the idea of including you in their relationship, Simon would be disgusted, maybe even offended. It’s that thought that gives him pause and stops him from bringing it up to Simon.

More fuel to the fire of your trepidation: you're so anxious about the sculpture. You know they know that it was someone else (technically), but the memory of throwing that sculpture- god, you feel terrible about it. Yeah, you were maybe a lot intoxicated, but it was still insanely terrifying. You just knew that if you were to go up to them unguarded they would split your brain open and see everything within you. They would be able to tell that you broke the sculpture and they’d see your weakness and then they’d hate you for it. You’re convinced that they’d hate you about it so much that they will get you kicked out of your lovely new apartment somehow, maybe from a friendship with the landlord, and then convince your job to drop you for being a deplorable sculpture-shatterer. Maybe they'd even go as far as to go onto the news about you and your deplorable-ness since Johnny had gained internet reach via the homophobic outburst. Maybe they’d turn you in to the cops. Maybe you’d get locked up, like how Simon was trying to get the original vandal to be. Needless to say, you didn’t talk to either of them about the incident, going rigid whenever it got mentioned, going to yourself ‘god, maybe they’ve found you out’ when all it is is Simon grumbling about the local police being little to no help. You’ve also been sort of avoiding them, not responding to Johnny’s texts as much or purposefully timing taking out the trash to catch Simon and Riley on their afternoon walks. You don’t think they notice, since they’ve been caught up in a sudden wave of support on practically all ends- you’re sure you saw a few strangers loitering on their doorstep a few separate times. 

Despite all of your anxiety, life still moves on. You worked nearly every day for the past two weeks before getting two days off. The clinic had been swamped because a nearby elementary school had a lice outbreak; first-time moms who had never heard about lice shampoo came flocking to your practice. It probably would’ve been funny, you supposed, but it was just tiring to deal with back-to-back upset toddlers with upset parents. You were so tired that when Johnny reached out to invite you to watch a horror movie in preparation for Halloween, you couldn’t even bother with your anxiety declining, just wanting some sort of comfort. 

Now, you’re at the boys’ apartment, contemplating the benefits of leaping out of their balcony; just to rid yourself of the near-crippling anxiety of being so close to the two of them. You're settled into the couch to watch Jennifer's Body with the boys, and Simon is lounged with his mask off and he has one burly arm over the top of the couch , practically over Johnny's shoulders as Johnny sort of sits right in the divot between Simon's cushion (since he’s buff enough to warrant his own cushion) and the cushion he should’ve been sitting on, enticing you to sit closer than normal to Johnny.

Knowing what you know now, you don't. Feeling what you do now, you don’t. You even take the opportunity to put a little space between you two, sitting purposefully on the other side of the couch. You’re honestly scared that if you do sit close to him, they'll take you sitting shoulder to shoulder with Johnny wrong.

You settle in, kicking your stocking-clad feet up onto the couch as you watch the��first scene of the movie .

You zone out for a while and it’s not until Simon huffs a gruff chuckle at something or other- you weren't really paying attention- that you zone back in. Then, as if recalling something, his brown gaze bores directly through the fucking tissues of your face, right over an asleep Johnny, who had leaned in his sleep, his head now on your shoulder. He’s kind of (really) scary like this, just staring at you. It’s more tense without a lighthearted Johnny to diffuse the tension.

“You’re jumpy,” he observes.

“I’m not.” You’re not.

“Are y’ sure? You haven’t been seeming like yourself for a while, bun.”

“I’m fine.” You are. He scrutinizes you and you can feel a pit of anxiety in your stomach, which quickly turns into an irrational sort of anger. “Don’t look at me like that.” You half-snap. He had just looked at you so closely that you’re utterly convinced he knows exactly what you’re thinking, which only serves to irritate you further.

“Sorry.” He says, but he doesn’t seem sorry, only surprised.

“No, you’re not.” He’s not . His brow furrows.

“Bun, are you-“

“Stop.” You say, and he does. Johnny starts to drool. You look back to the movie. Simon doesn’t, and it ticks you off- his eyes are analytical but soft. Like he’s pitying you, which confuses you- what about you is there to pity? You’re convinced he knows everything about the sculpture now, what with the intensity of his gaze earlier. He should be feeling angry at you, not sorry for you.

“ Stop looking at me like that!” You burst out, making Johnny flinch awake, his head stuttering as it rises up from your tensed shoulders. He blinks blearily at you and your heart stutters, because even mostly asleep, he’s drop-dead gorgeous. He’s so pretty. It shouldn’t be allowed. Unexpectedly, it just adds more fuel to the fire that is your anxiety-driven rage.

“Wh’s-” Johnny starts.

“Bun, it’s okay- hey,” Simon cuts in.

“Fucking stop! I don’t get how you can be so- so calm all the time when you hate me,” you say, traitorous tears pricking at your eyes. “I know you know that I broke the vase, a-and it’s so infuriating when you act like nothing’s wrong! Like it doesn’t matter! Like you’re just- waiting for the perfect moment to strike on me and force me to pay my dues or something! Being quietly pissed off is shitty and rude and dehumanizing!"

You fight through the rising nausea and-

"-I hate that you know that I love you!" Embarrassment rises to your cheeks. It's slick and toxic, because *what the fuck*, no way you just said that?! You're fuming as you get up on unsteady feet and leave their apartment, narrowly avoiding the next wave of trick-or-treaters. You fumbled with your key before prying open the door of your apartment , falling onto your bed and crying into your pillow, frustrated with yourself.

That was awesome. That was great. You'd just confessed everything you knew they knew- if they didn't, they surely did now. They'd hate you. You really had to start detaching yourself from your apartment now, because you were almost 99% they would be reporting you for harassment or something to your landlord.

----------------------------------------

Both Simon and Johnny are confused as they sit on the couch in stunned silence in the aftermath.

"Well." Simon murmurs.

"Yeah.”

“I mean… well, fuck. Right bloody mess, that.”

“Only a mess? More like-” Johnny stops himself and bites his lower lip , hesitating .

“Well? Go’n, then,” Simon interjects, bumping Johnny’s shoulder. “More like what?” 

Internally, Johnny berates himself for the slip-up, since the plan has never been to tell Simon the truth. To confess that he-

No, he’s sure Simon must have an inkling of the direction of the secret he’s concealed for the better half of a month. Simon knows him too well, too intimately, their souls too closely intertwined for any secret to survive longer than a month. He should just fess up, he knows, but speaking the words would only be painful and he feels like they both could do with a lot less pain.

“Si, it’s-”

“Bullshit,” Simon says nearly immediately, his eyes glaring daggers through Johnny’s skull, making him gulp, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Jus’ spit it out.” He hisses.

“I… Si,” he sighs out. “Si, Ah really like them. Like, really,” he says sulkily. “Ah still love ye the same, an’ I still think you’re my soulmate an’ all, But…. Somethin’ abou’ them, Si, I dunno.”

“Ah, Johnny,” Simon says, sighing, drawing Johnny closer to his side. “Tha’ isn’t anything to worry about,” he rumbles, “I feel the same, y’know. Thought you clued it out by now.”

“Really?” Johnny asks, peering up at his lover.

“Yeah, really, with your dumbass.”

“Oh. Well. I think- I think they feel the same.”

“You think ? They fundamentally confessed, love,” he mutters.

“Yeah, ollright,” Johnny huffs. “What d’ya suppose we do, then, if yer all-knowing?”

“Well, we tell 'em, don’t we? Get them a nice dinner. Some wine. The works.”

“Uh-huh. I think they’re scared of us, though, Si,” Johnny says quietly.

“I think you’re paranoid.” Simon presses a kiss on Johnny’s forehead. Johnny huffs again but offers no further cheek. “I say we take ‘em out to Ivy Springfield’s. Alright?”

“Alright.”

<- back next ->

[cherishedproperty]

A Submissive Origin Story

Most of the time when people ask what made me submissive, I shrug and say it’s just who I am. I don’t believe that submission inherently comes from somewhere; sometimes it’s just who we are.

But lately I’ve been working through a lot, trying to get to a mentally healthier version of myself. I’ve been thinking about the high expectations placed on me as a child and the stressful environment around me. My dad in particular was emotionally unpredictable. He could come home in a great mood, then lecture us for an hour over some small turn of phrase he didn’t like. And as the eldest daughter (yes yes, I fulfill ALL the stereotypes), he was particularly hard on me. I remember in 2nd grade, I brought home a spelling test and was proud that I got a 99%. My dad lectured me for more than half an hour about how I can do better. This is one example of many. A few years ago, my dad told me, “I never had to spank you or anything. I learned early on with you that all I had to do was make you feel like a disappointment. That always worked. And look how successful you are now.” His intentional parenting philosophy was to cause me psychological pain. Thanks, Dad.

And listen, I know it’s all fucked up. I know he was wrong to do all that. That’s why I parent very differently, and why I chose people to coparent with me who would parent differently. But it did shape me. It still does. All of this made me a person who can read people really well and take the perspectives of others. I know what people want and how to cater to their feelings, because I had to. It made me a more effective communicator because I always needed to choose my words carefully before I opened my mouth. It made me an overachiever—yes, very successful, but also someone who feels I have to work twice as hard as a normal person to have a chance at being good enough. Someone who thinks giving 100% means giving until I legitimately can’t anymore. Someone who needs clarity and validation, because I starved for it with him.

Lately I’ve been processing all this and also working through a present day set of issues with my dad. So all of this has been very much on the surface.

Then a few weeks ago, I was getting ready for bed one night, and it was very clear Monsieur wanted sex. Had been thinking about sex all day. Had the toys all laid out. And my brain was just…not there. But I didn’t say no. Didn’t even tell him where my head was at. And unsurprisingly, things didn’t go well for either of us. I was thinking about it after, and I had this epiphany.

I didn’t say no because some part of me deep down believes that if I say no, he won’t love me anymore.

In my conscious mind, I don’t believe that at all. Monsieur is one of the most unconditionally loving people I’ve ever been with. But what I realized is, no matter how many good things I do as a partner, I feel like all of that gets washed away by one wrong step. Because that’s what has happened in the past. Perfection is the minimum standard.

It got me thinking that maybe this is why I find such comfort in a D/s relationship. I know exactly what the parameters are and what it looks like to be a good partner. The rules and expectations are explicit, and the feedback is clear. Do good girl things, get good girl head pats. Basically, I know exactly what it takes to get an A+ in my relationship, which is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

It also made me wonder if this is part of why I haven’t been feeling as submissive lately. I have a partner who truly sees me—all of me—and accepts me. He loves me not in spite of my quirks, but because of them. And every time I get down on myself because I didn’t do XYZ and I don’t feel good enough, he tells me what a wonderful partner I am and recounts all the good stuff I bring to his life. Clarity and validation. Unconditional love. And maybe it’s because I’m so confident in his love that I can finally stop forcing myself to push through when it’s not good for me.

There have certainly been times in the past when I have pushed myself to submit to a Dominant when it wasn’t good or comfortable for me. I prided myself on being able to give even when I had nothing left. And I often got the good girl pats and validation, which made it all feel worth it. But the validation didn’t replenish me; it just made being empty feel a little less bad.

I don’t say all of this to make D/s seem dysfunctional or inherently bad in some way. I know many people in healthy D/s relationships. And I don’t actually think that my submission is just a product of all this insecurity and need for validation; I’ve had submissive feelings for as long as I can remember.

But I do think my past has shaped the kinds of D/s I pursue and how I conduct myself in those dynamics. For example, it shapes my difficulty safewording because I don’t want to be a disappointment. Even though my partner has done nothing but praise me when I safeword. Even though I’ve seen the negative consequences of my failure to safeword when I should have.

So here’s where I’m at with all of this: I need to understand where my submission comes from a dysfunctional place so I can move forward to build a healthy, soul-nourishing dynamic with my partner. I’m not sure what it looks like yet, but I do believe it’s possible.