#and none of you look even remotely happy lol

[modernvintage]

If there is anything I hate about modern “celebrity” or “influencer” culture, it is the bland-ass, cookie cutter clone wars of it all.

Like I’ve unfollowed and/or blocked so many social accounts these past few years, first, bc I hated the privilege I saw during a worldwide pandemic when people were dying, but now, because everyone is the. fucking. same.

They are all thin/ripped/hairless, (likely) rich, (likely) white, with the same exact clothing and accessories, on an “exotic” vacation to a “boutique” hotel pretending to be in a cabana (or on a boat? Why are so many people on rent-a-yachts?) with people who probably actively hate them. You could swap their faces and no one would ever know.

Seriously, so many people aged 18-45? have carbon copy lives and I’m so sick of it. I want weirdness. I want zhuzh. I want personal style back! And hills to die on! And causes to support!

This is brain rot, for real, it is no different than yuppie boomers all wanting the Cadillac and 2.5 kids in a big McMansion in the suburbs bullshit and I wanna talk about it but no one does.

Where are the rites of passage? The coming of age? The struggles? How are people affording this shit? Why do they waste their money being so bloody boring? Why does everyone look the same? With the same teeth, same lips, same fake tan, same hairstyle, same jewelry? It’s not just women, either, so many male celebs do this, too.

Go pick any hotel page on insta. Or an artist on tour. Or a festival. Click through the pictures. It’s like robot nation. Celebs or influencers “influencing” normies into being even more homogenous.

Does anyone even have fun anymore? With all the privilege and beauty and wealth, has the fun been forgotten?

Everyone is just so boring.

[ragingbookdragon]

Hanging By A Moment

Bayverse Transformers x Reader Blurbs

Word Count: 940 Warnings: None

Author's Note: I love TF so much. I miss it all lol -Thorne

**********************************************************************

Ironhide:

“This is…different,” she notes as she arrives into the darkened field; the veil of the moon blankets the land in an ivory haze, yet Ironhide’s sleek body is visible from even the edge. It’s remote enough that they don’t have to worry about being seen; she nears him with a curious look on her face. “Ironhide?”

His tailgate lowers and with a surprised expression that quickly gives way to a pleasant smile, she climbs onto the back, kicks her shoes off, and lays down on the makeshift bedding, resting her head on the pillow.

“Did you do this all for me?” she asks. “Aren’t you so sweet underneath all that firepower.”

“Have to treat my best girl, don’t I?” Ironhide teases back. “You’ve been working awfully hard lately. Even I know to take a break once in a while.”

She hums and curls into the blankets, almost feeling like they’re keeping warm and toasty. “No rest for the wicked, Ironhide. The Decepticons won’t wait while I rest.”

He grumbles, deep and low, and she can’t help but laugh. “Then you’ll rest, and I’ll kick ass.”

“Okay, bud,” she jokes, resting her head back on the pillow. “Take care of me while I rest.”

***

Rachet:

“When I said I wanted to spend some time alone with you, Rachet…this isn’t necessarily what I meant.”

His frame rumbles as he slows to a stop on the side of the canyon. “I can turn around, if you’d like?”

“You better not,” she warns and points a finger at the steering wheel. “You promised to take me out to the stars.”

She can hear the smile in his hum as he starts driving again. “When you mentioned you’ve always wanted to see the stars up close, I figured this would be the best I could give you.” He shifts back the roof, and her eyes widen at the expanse of bright stars above her.

“Oh my God,” she breathes, unable to help but stand up in the front seat, rising out of the rooftop. “Rachet, it’s…it’s incredible.”

He slows to a stop at the edge and stills. “It’s almost as incredible as you are. But somehow, their brightness can’t even come close to how beautiful you shine.”

Slipping back into the seat, she reaches forward and gently presses her lips to his steering wheel. “Thank you, Rachet. For doing this for me…for us.”

***

Bumblebee:

It’s almost one AM by the time they make it back into the city. Eerily enough, the roads are almost empty, and Bumblebee has a straight shot back to the facility, but he passes the particular highway that leads to it.

She notices from her sleepy haze in the passenger seat. “Bee? You missed the turn.”

He makes a noise that she recognizes as his answer of “Yes.”

“Where are we going?” she’s not worried in the slightest, knows that Bumblebee wouldn’t ever take her somewhere she could get hurt; she’s still curious though.

“Don’t worry about it,” a voiceover from a TV show filters through and she snorts tiredly.

“Alright, Bee, keep your secrets.” She shifts in his seat and reclines back, unable to help but trace the threading in the console. “You takin’ me home, Bee?”

“Take me home tonight!” he sings, and she smiles, gently shutting her eyes as the streetlights still shine across her face as they pass between shadows.

“I’m happy, Bee,” she murmurs. “You know that? I’m always happy with you.”

He’s silent for a long while and she wonders if maybe he didn’t hear her, but it doesn’t bother her as she curls up in the passenger seat and begins to drift off, only to hear quietly through the speakers, “I’m living for the only thing I know. I’m running and not quite sure where to go. And I don’t know what I’m diving into, just hanging by a moment here with you.”

***

Optimus:

“Sorry about the rain, Optimus,” she murmurs as they take shelter in the rundown warehouse. “I can’t imagine it’s going to let up…we’ll be here for a while.”

She watches as steam begins to flow from his body, fans in his processors blowing until the water is simply droplets here and there.

“That’s handy,” she jokes, and he meets her gaze with a smile.

“While rust isn’t a big a worry to myself as it is Ironhide, I’d rather not take any chances.”

She nods and takes off her jacket, wringing it out. “It’ll be dark soon. We should set up a perimeter.” The echoing of his transformation sounds in the warehouse, and she looks up. “Optimus?” His door opens and closes a few times until she gets the hint to climb in.

As she enters, the cab opens, and she slips further inside. It’s smaller than she imagined, given that outside he’s much larger but she assumes he’s somehow made some room for her. It’s a small bedding, smaller than a door, but enough that she can curl up on it, propping her arm under her head. She’s about to say it’s cold when the fans blow again and fill the cab with a warmth that feels like she wrapped herself in a blanket straight out of the drier.

And he knows it too as he asks, “Comfortable?”

“Mhm,” she murmurs and scoots back until her back is against the wall of his cab; it feels good to have him at her back, safe and secure. “I think I could lie here forever.”

“When there is peace, my spark,” he says. “We will lie forever.”

“Promise?”

“I promise,” and she knows his words ring with truth.

[7ndipity]

Them With Pregnant S/o HCs

Taehyung x Reader, Jungkook x Reader

Summary: How they would look after their S/o during pregnancy and interact with the baby bump.

Warnings: none

A/N: Thanks to @lovelyxoxosworld for this request! Everybody seems to have babies on the brain lately, idk what’s going on, lol. I did include a few points about earlier months just for the sake of covering all the bases, but I tried to keep the focus on the later months like you asked.

Masterlist

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Taehyung:

When the two of you found out you were expecting, he was beyond excited and emotional. He’d always dreamt of having a family of his own, so the fact that it was finally happening, and with you, meant the world to him.

He would talk to them all the time. As soon as he comes home, he kisses you and asks how your day was, and then kneels down to kiss your belly and ask them the same thing.

He would play question games with your belly, like one kick for yes, two kicks for no. He’d probably try to get them to side with him during arguments.

Likes to just hold/hug you from behind and trace patterns over your bump.

You tend to fall asleep most nights talking about names or trying to guess what their personality will be like.

“We’re not naming them after Jimin.” “Why not?” “The rest of your members will be pissed.” “We can name the next ones after them.” “THE NEXT ONES?!”

He really dedicates himself to studying your pregnancy books and trying to be as educated as possible about the whole process.

As your belly gets bigger, he tries to help and take over as many household tasks as possible, reminding you every time you try to argue with him about smth that you’re growing A HUMAN?! You’re busy enough!

He loves getting to dote on you; helping you apply cream to your belly for stretch marks, giving you back rubs to ease any aches and pains, he’ll even paint your toenails for you if you want!

He takes so many photos of you as the pregnancy progresses, wanting to immortalize as much of this time as possible.

Jungkook:

When he found out that you were pregnant, he was so beside himself with happiness that he couldn’t sit still. He kept bouncing/pacing around the room, coming over at regular intervals to hug and kiss you and your tummy, and then back to pacing.

Reads so many pregnancy books he basically becomes a walking encyclopedia for a couple months.

When he finds out they can hear in there, he talks to them constantly, including them in your conversations and singing to them before bed.

He cried a little bit the first time he felt the baby kick, bc it just made everything a lot more real. Like, he knew they were there, but getting to actually feel them and interact with them was a whole different thing.

As your belly gets bigger, and daily tasks get more difficult to do, he becomes your full-time assistant, doing everything and anything he can to help out.

Refuses to let you do anything remotely straining in fear of you hurting yourself. Like, he gets anxious about you even carrying your own bag half the time.

Loves doing that thing where he holds/supports your belly to take the weight off your back for a few minutes so you can rest a little bit.

Will one hundred percent try any weird food cravings you have, just to know and to see if he can start predicting what the next ones will be.

Is constantly coming up with new name ideas and desperately wants to be the one to find THE name. “Heads: you win, Tails: I get to pick the baby’s name.”

Probably falls asleep with a hand resting on your belly most nights.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan

[damiansgoodgirll]

Hello, I came across your post for Damian Priest requests, and thought I'd drop by and make one.

If it isn't too much trouble, can you do Damian Priest being protective of the reader after they were injured? The reader nicknames him Harbinger of Doom in response to a nickname he calls the reader. Angst/Fluff. (I'm a sucker for a fluffy ending). It doesn't matter which version of Priesty it is. He's awesome through it all lol.

damian priest x reader

i’m so sorry i had no idea of how to use the nickname :(( i hope you like it anyway!

nothing to prove

being the youngest and the last member of the judgment day had its pros a cons. you loved how everyone cared about you, especially a cute guy named damian. you and him bonded immediately and even if it started as a simple and cute friendship, everyone knew that you were in love with him.

and everyone knew that he was in love with you.

you were the official couple in the squad, making the fans going crazy everytime you teased each other on live television.

the constant flirting and stolen kisses were enough for the fans to start calling you “mom and dad” and even if it seemed a little weird at first you ended up loving it.

but despite everyone loving you, you started to hate how they all became protective of you. you didn’t matter damian or rhea - mostly damian - throwing a tantrum everytime you got slightly injured, it was cute how he was protecting you but overtime you got bored and even if you told him that, he never stopped doing so.

one special night turned to be a living nightmare.

you were so happy to have your own match against zoey stark. you two were friends but you knew how she could get everytime she was wrestling. she would be brutal and she wouldn’t care if she played dirty, as long as she gets the win, everything is fine to her.

and that’s what she did.

it wasn’t supposed to go like that, you were supposed to win, it was an easy match but of course she played dirty and she slightly injured your back. but the constant hits on your shoulders and back made it hurt more that you could barely stand. you just wanted the match to end so you rapidly tap out, just to end everything.

you were in too much pain that you didn’t even hear rhea attacking zoey and damian kneeling in front of inside the ring.

“you’re crazy!” you slightly heard rhea yelling “i’m gonna make you pay for this” and you knew she wasn’t kidding. she was your best friend and even if that was all a play, you were injured for rhea and that was something she couldn’t forgive.

“mi amor are you okay? estas bien?” damian asked in a whisper.

your back was killing you and your head was spinning. even the fans realised something was wrong when they saw how you couldn’t even move nor stand.

you only felt damian scooping you up in his arms and taking you to get checked. your head was hurting and when damian laid you on the bed you drifted off. tired and in pain.

when you regain consciousness you watched in the small tv inside the locker room how rhea was attacking zoey and how damian was doing nothing to stop her.

referees were trying to stop her but they couldn’t get her away from zoey. damian was laughing and teasing her in spanish.

you didn’t want that to happen. you knew zoey overstepped but that was your business, not theirs. damian was only protecting you but he was acting crazy and you couldn’t handle it anymore so you violently turned off the tv and threw the remote somewhere in the room.

you waited patiently for their feud to be over so you could talk to damian - no, so you could scream at damian for his childish behaviour.

he definitely didn’t expect to see you awake but what he also didn’t expect was to see your pissed look.

“are you okay hermosa?” he slowly started walking towards the couch you decided to sit on.

“don’t come closer damian…”

“what? are you okay?” he asked a little worried.

“you gotta explain why you went all crazy on zoey…that was none of your business” you said. you were clearly still in pain and having a fight right now wasn’t the greatest idea you ever had but you needed to speak with him.

“why? the way your face looks in pain is the reason i went all crazy on her…” he tried to keep his tone low, as he hated fighting with you.

“i know but that wasn’t your business…i could have handled her”

“oh, could you ?” he said back probably too fast.

that was low, even for him.

“i didn’t mean it like that…” he immediately apologised but if you were pissed before, now you were completely mad.

“you know what? i can handle her and i can handle myself, i have nothing to prove, especially not to you damian so if you think i’m not good enough, you can leave…” you knew you were hurting him but his words already hurt you.

“i get it, you’re mad…you’re mad because i overstepped and i shouldn’t have…but i was here backstage watching you crying in pain and knowing that i couldn’t do anything for you was killing me. it took everything in rhea’s power to hold me back from running to you when she first hit your back, knowing that she shouldn’t have…” he started explaining himself and truth be told, you couldn’t stay mad at him for longer than 10 minutes “…i was scared when i saw you almost paralyzed inside the ring…and everything i told her was because she deserved it, i don’t care if she’s your friend, she shouldn’t have done that, so yeah maybe i’m too protective of you but it’s because i love you and i can’t fucking stand seeing you hurt and in pain” he slowly knelt in front of you, taking your hands into his bigger ones “i know you can handle yourself and you proved it so many times now, but if there’s a way i can protect you from getting hurt, i might get hurt from trying princess…” he whispered, bringing your hands to his lips.

you even forgot why you were mad in the first place “you would really get hurt for me?”

“i would take a hundred of bullets for you, i gotta protect what’s mine…” he slowly teased you.

“so i’m yours…”

“from the moment i saw you in the gym training with rhea” he helped you standing up “now…we’re gonna get you checked one more time and when you’re all clear to go, i’m gonna take you back to the hotel and we’re gonna have a very nice and cozy night in…just me and you” he proposed and you nodded.

happy that someone was there to take care of you, and that the person was damian himself.

[weirdkpopgirl]

Adoration | Mark Imagine #7

Title: Adoration

Genre: Tooth-rotting fluff

Warnings: none really :)

Word Count: 612

Author's Note: Lol this idea came to me after seeing a clip of Mark on a video call fansign, where he was telling the fan that he's currently watching Queen of Tears. This made me so happy because I've also been watching the drama and feel so passionately about it. Anyway my mind started to wander and this little scenario came out of it. I tried my best not to include spoilers of the show in the story though. Thank you for reading and hope you like it ^ ^

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Frustration brewed in your eyes, as heat rose to your cheeks, while your heart was pounding. Your fingers curled further into your palms, as unkind words traveled to the tip of your tongue. Yet, before they could be vocalized, the dark-haired man on your left said them instead.

“No, but why did he do that though?!” Mark yelled, throwing his arm out in a gesture to the screen.

A part of you wanted to laugh at your boyfriend’s reaction to the final scene playing out on the television before you. Since the premiere of Queen of Tears, you and Mark have been avidly following the series together. However, you were a few episodes behind due to Mark’s busy schedule and your commitment to watching it together. It took considerable restraint to avoid looking at spoilers on Instagram or YouTube.

On the other hand, the equal measure of anger within you overpowered any sense of amusement. A louder-than-intended sigh slipped past your lips.

“Ugh, I hate Yoon Eunsung so much for trying to ruin Haein’s family,” you fumed, gripping the remote. “I swear, I just knew he was going to use that tactic to sabotage them too!”

Mark leaned back on the couch, echoing your dissatisfaction. “I know right? You were so on point though with predicting that it was gonna happen.”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t mean I’m happy that I was right!” you exclaimed, sounding as if you were almost about to cry from annoyance. 

Any hint of exasperation Mark was feeling simmered down, as you continued to vent about the episode. Now that he observed you passionately recounting every prediction you made about the characters’ actions that had had occurred in the episode. Your hair was slightly tousled, and your hands gestured animatedly, emphasizing your frustrations. This was a rare sight from someone who was usually so composed and reserved.

Your shoulders slumped when you caught the distraction in his eyes, prompting a look of confusion from you. “Mark, are you even listening to what I’m saying?”

“No, I am babe,” he reassured with a chuckle. “I’ve just never seen you this fired up before.”

Your expression softened, and the flush on your cheeks transitioned to one of embarrassment. His comment brought to mind your tendency to get overly passionate about certain things that provoked you.

“Sorry, I just got so worked up,” you mumbled, sheepishly brushing a loose lock of hair out of your face.

However, Mark was quick to pull you into his arms. “Don’t apologize, I think it’s endearing.”

His embrace was so warm and loving, it felt like he was wrapping you in all the adoration he had for you. Yet, it made you just want to hide your face in his hoodie because you were still flustered.

“Well I’m grateful you’re more reassuring than Baek Hyunwoo is,” you said, resting your chin on his shoulder. “Seriously, I’ve never seen so much miscommunication in a relationship before.”

You felt your boyfriend smile, pulling back slightly to stroke your hair. “And I’m glad you’re not as closed off like Hong Haein.”

“Hey, she has every right to be—” you started to protest, before catching yourself.

Mark nearly convulsed with laughter as he crashed you into another hug. “Ah, cute!”

Feeling embarrassed once more, you lightly smacked his shoulder, though it did nothing to stop the boy from gushing over you. But you couldn’t help but smile too, finding warmth in the moment. Both of you knew that the upcoming episodes of this drama would only bring more stress. However, at least you could share your frustrations openly, while all Mark could think about was how infatuated he was with you.

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previous masterlist -> current masterlist

[lightlycareless]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8K3KxtG/

I feel like if this happened to Naoya after he let his hair go natural he’d probably be booking an appointment to the salon that day XD

Heya anon!!!

OMG HAHAHAHAHAHAH I love how we all agree that Naoya dyeing his hair black once his roots show (or just not dyeing it at all) is like a bad idea lmao. Just like the top comment said, it was the only thing keeping the family together 😂😂😂😂

Anyways, this was such a treat to write. I'm always down for domestic yn/naoya shenanigans + our adorable naomi!!!!

warnings: none. fluff. naoya regrets his life. lol.

Happy reading!!!

Naoya deciding to dye his hair completely black wasn’t one that he chose personally, it was simply… a consequence of his surroundings.

He’d been out on missions for too long, that his dye naturally began to fade out, showing his dark roots and prompting him with the idea of…

“All black?” you ask; both were on videocall when he suggested the idea—Naoya stationed in some remote village he was deployed in, still days away from returning. “I haven’t seen you wear that look since… forever I think.”

“Naomi definitely hasn’t seen me like that.” He comments, and at the revelation, you gasp.

“Oh my god, that is true!” you smile. “Do you think she’ll notice? I don’t think so, she’s still pretty young… Though I know she’ll be happy to see her handsome papa again! Black hair, or not.”

Naoya smiles.

“I can’t wait to come back home either; it’s been horrible without my two princesses.”

“Well, hurry back! We’re tired of waiting for you…”

Naoya takes it seriously when you tell him to hurry, quick to finish whatever mission he was in before catching the earliest flight back home, but not without making one last stop; he usually dyed his hair by his own at that point, was considering so too…

But he wanted to make this a special surprise. It had been quite some time since he last mentioned it, so he’s sure you’ve probably forgotten about it by now, thus setting up the perfect opportunity to carry out his plans.

To say that he was excited about this whole ordeal was an understatement. Naoya was really looking forward to this change, and all because of one simple reason: Naomi’s reaction.

Ever since his little bundle of joy was born, life had become far more enjoyable, even with the littlest, most mundane of things. All had become a thrilling adventure he couldn’t wait to share with his daughter.  

Naoya never thought he’d ever come to enjoy the wonders of being a father, always thought it to be tedious, boring. And most importantly, fated to be with someone he wouldn’t care for.

But then you happened, and with time, little Naomi, completely changing his perspective of life.

Whatever thing he did, the sight of his adorable baby girl would cross his mind, wondering what kind of reaction she’ll have for the new toy he’ll bring her after the mission, her cute babbles whenever telling her of his day, as if she knew what he was saying…

Or in this scenario, if Naomi would be able to recognize him after completely dyeing his hair black.

A part of him hopes—no, knows so, because he knows his baby girl to be very attentive, and there’s something sweet about a daughter being able to distinguish her father through all circumstances.

Luckily, he won’t have to wait much to get his answer, for as soon as his hair was done, he went straight back to the estate, not even bothering to let you know beforehand (just to add to the surprise), eventually making a beeline to you, quickly taking you in his arms before you could even muster a hello and kissing you—it’s only when he pulls away that you’re able to acknowledge him, and his new hairstyle.

“Naoya! You dyed your hair black!” you bubbled, threading your fingers into his locks to relish both its softness and nostalgic color. “And your home too!”

“I did.” He smiles, leaning in to steal another kiss. “I’m home.”

“Ah, I missed you so much.” You sigh, resting your head against his chest. “Please tell me you’re not leaving until much, much later.”

“2 weeks.” He says sorrowfully—it’s more than last time, but still…

“…Well, let’s not talk about that anymore—let’s focus instead on our time together, with our adorable baby who missed you so much!”

“Where is she?” Naoya asks with unparalleled enthusiasm. “Is she awake?”

“With my staff, and yes, she just woke up actually!” You say, grabbing his hand and guiding him back to your shared bedroom. “Let’s go, now—I want to see her reaction to your new hair color!”

Just as you foretold, little Naomi was happily enjoying the company of your loyal staff, Mariya, Haruko and Hitomi, who treated your adorable baby as she were their own niece, taking her wherever they could when you’d unfortunately end up caught up with duties, which Naomi didn’t mind, if anything, she was all to happy to be spoiled rotten (even more) by her aunts!

And how could she not? With all their gifts and antics, Naomi was nothing if not overjoyed to be the center of their attention!

Yet, nothing they did could ever compare t0 the happiness of seeing her father return home, the papa that you always made sure to remind her loved her very much, even through the distance that is often imposed by his job.

Once the family is reunited, your staff bids their regards to Naoya before leaving, allowing much needed privacy for the sweet moment that is to occur next. they leave to give them much needed privacy,

“Naomi!” Naoya says as soon as he laid eyes on his little bundle of joy, swooning when noticing the cute romper you’d dressed her up in, the same one he got her a few weeks ago: the yellow one with a little duck stitched in the front pocket. “My little mochi, I’m home!”

He reaches for her, extending his arms to pick her up and give her all the kisses and hugs he’s been holding onto since he left, completely forgetting about the reaction he so desperately wanted to see—

But the moment he does so, Naoya feels his baby tense up, a soft whine escaping her lips as her chubby little hands attempted to push him away, a reaction so different to her usually bubbly, welcoming personality, that his heart couldn’t help but shatter a bit in return.

“What’s wrong, dumpling?” He asks. “Did you miss me that much?”

“Nnngah!” Naomi cries as she attempts to push him away once more, but Naoya persists, that is, until a sharp wail makes him realize it was something graver.

“Naomi, why are you crying??” Naoya frets, attempting to comfort her by gently rocking her—to no avail. “Is it your diaper?? Or are you hungry??”

It takes you a few moments to understand what’s happening, but when you do, you’re not even able to laugh about it, too preoccupied instead in comforting your poor crying daughter, who was upset from innocently confusing her papa for Naobito’s son #27.

She shouldn’t be blamed—couldn’t. Naomi was still in the age where she has difficulties setting apart those that similarly look like her father, after all, like the rest of Naoya’s brothers.

Naomi was only able to calm down after you took her back into her arms, the only person she seemed to recognize at the moment, gently bouncing her until her cries eventually diminished.

But the damage was done, and as soon as your little mochi was placed back onto her crib, too tired out from crying, Naoya rushes straight to the exit, mind set on one thing:

“I’m dying my hair back blonde.”

“Naoya—It’s just a matter of her getting used to you!” you gasp, attempting to stop him. “You don’t need to do that!”

“I don’t want her to cry because of me ever again.” He insists. “I’ve already arranged the appointment; I’m heading out now. And while I’m at it, I’ll also buy Naomi more toys, hopefully she’ll be able to forgive me.”

“That won’t—” you wish to push the idea out of Naoya’s mind, tell him that perhaps he’s exaggerating, but you could see the sadness in his eyes, that notion that he genuinely believed needed this to feel better about himself.

So, you let him, giving him a kiss while asking him to not to do anything outrageous; Naoya’s spending could be quite… excessive when upset, you’d know that better than anyone. Although something tells you it might be worse now that Naomi is involved…

Nonetheless, by the time Naoya returns with his hair effectively back to blonde, Naomi is now able to identify him as her beloved papa, cheerfully reaching out for him to receive her well-deserved dosage kisses and hugs, as well as all the toys he brought along to ease his mistakes—it’s almost like that unspeakable incident never occurred! Much to Naoya’s delight.

And while upsetting at the moment, this is an anecdote you’d eventually recount with humor in the future, about the time Naomi didn’t recognize her father because of his hair dye, and how Naoya almost went to the end of the world to redeem himself.

Though both would deny it, of course. Thankfully, you have a good memory.

I'm sorry I had to call Naoya Naobito's son #27 but let's be real, they all look alike (In my hc that is) HOW COULD NAOMI NOT CONFUSE HIM? HAHAHAHAH Poor man, well, thankfully Naomi forgave him once he fixed his mistake :) you won't see Naoya with black hair anymore, though you'd come to regret not being able to "relieve the good ol days" 😳😳😳😳

Anyways, thank you sososos much for sending in this I LOVE DOMESTIC AU WITH NAOYA our redeemed little dork. Ah, I really needed this after last chapter's ordeal 😏 keep 'em coming 🤭

Now, take care, and hope to see you soon!!

[exeggcute]

well it's been almost six months which I think is long enough to break my posting embargo, so, uh: guess what! I got liposuction lol. specifically hip/thigh lipo to quell some pretty wicked dysphoria that stemmed from having such a feminine silhouette… and I have to say I'm really, really pleased with the results.

tbh my initial plan was to keep things under wraps for good which is why I haven't said anything about it yet (and even as I'm typing this up I keep debating whether to post it or trash it)—partly because I was/am worried people might Act Weird about it and partly because I get a little embarrassed talking about bodygendershit in general. but here we are. one reason I do feel compelled to finally share, other than being super happy about how everything went, is that I haven't encountered a lot of discussions about body sculpting as a possible avenue of gender-affirming care (although, to be fair, maybe I just haven't been looking in the right places) and I figured at least one person out there would be interested to learn about what I did and where I've ended up so far.

anyway. pics/details under the cut—nothing even remotely risqué (or yucky), I just know that body image stuff is fraught + not everyone is eager to hear surgery talk.

to be precise: I got tumescent liposuction of the inner and outer thigh, plus this ultrasound thing to help the skin shrink. a different surgeon who I consulted (but ultimately did not go with for a number of reasons) said that even if I got the results I wanted from lipo, which he claimed was unlikely, the affected skin would look loose/baggy/weird forever... and that surgeon was wrong on both counts lol. my elasticity was great bitch!!!!

they didn't take out that much fat overall, only eight pounds or so, but it's way more about the Where than the How Much. my actual surgeon (who kicks ass btw) said lipo isn't that great for weight loss per se, and what it's really good for is sculpting targeted areas—so basically exactly what I did. six months post-op I actually weigh about the same as what I did pre-op, but the distribution has held steady; more weight goes to my stomach now and less, proportionally, goes to my hips since there are fewer fat cells in that area now. so my silhouette retains its new shape!

the overall change is admittedly on the subtle side, since I'm pretty short and have wide hip bones (and you can't change your literal skeleton) but it's still gone a looooooong way. the main thing I requested from my surgeon was "I want to fit in men's pants" and boy did he deliver.

also a good place to note that if you're in the las vegas area looking for a plastic and/or cosmetic surgeon—this guy is board-certified in both btw—then I absolutely have the guy for you. feel free to DM me for details. lipo is clearly his specialty (and it shows!) but he also does a lot of breast revisions/mastopexy (i.e., fixing implants that other surgeons did a bad job putting in), regular implants, and face work (particularly facial feminization surgery). one thing that sold me on this guy was an enthusiastic yelp review from a local stripper who said he hid the incisions for her breast lift in her armpits so none of her clients would notice that she'd had work done... a true master of his craft

okay you've scrolled enough so I'll give you what you're here for lol. I don't have many pre-op pics because I was obviously unhappy with how I looked and was not taking full-body selfies on a regular basis, but here's a few I took ~2 weeks beforehand:

these super thin men's joggers were my go-to dysphoria pants, to the point where I bought five pairs in different colors, but now they're so baggy on me that they have the opposite effect and make it look like I have wider hips than I do. so I retired them from my wardrobe...

...except not immediately because I had to wear compression garments 24/7 for the first three months post-op and these joggers were just loose enough to comfortably wear a medical girdle underneath them at all times, 110° degree temperatures be damned. (not that I was going out much for the first month since I was soooooooooooo fucking bruised and sore lol.) here's a few post-op pics in the same style pants:

(first pic is less than 24 hours post-op, about to go to my follow-up appointment, looking greasy as fuck because I wasn't allowed to shower yet; second pic two days post-op and also post-shower, thankfully; third pic is about a month post-op.)

so, like, CLEAR improvement already. I will not be posting pictures of my black-and-blue-and-swollen-all-over legs but considering how puffy I was from getting internally pummeled with a cannula it's wild that I still saw improvement literally as soon as I came home.

recovery was obviously not a blast in the moment but I got off easy, all things considered. I was supposed to get drains put in and was Not looking forward to that at all lol. the first thing I asked when I woke up after surgery was "how many drains?" because they weren't sure if I'd end up needing two or four, but it turned out the answer was zero. no drains!!!

I did have to lie with my feet elevated for the first two weeks straight, and had major bruising that receded over the first month (you could barely see my regular skin underneath all the mottled spots), but little to no nerve pain, no weird complications, and I was more or less back to normal after six weeks. also noelle took very very good care of me and was brave about injecting me with blood thinners so I wouldn't get clots and die :)

when I went into it I was fully expecting to get huge vertical scars up and down the sides of my legs (and had made peace with it!) but instead I wound up with four tiny incisions like this, each less than two inches long:

what's totally crazy is that the scars are basically Gone now. like even when I'm trying to find them I struggle to locate the ones in the front. I joked to noelle that if someone did an autopsy on me they might not figure out that I'd had cosmetic surgery, especially since the skin on my thighs is back to its normal color and texture. (in this scenario I like to imagine that it's dana scully giving me the autopsy and I'm in an x-files plot where instead of regular lipo I got alien lipo and mulder figures it out purely by accident.)

with lipo it can take up to a year to see the full results but I already feel so much fucking better in my body that seeing old pre-op pics throws me for a loop. and I can absolutely wear men's pants now—pants for short and stocky men, to be fair, but actual regular men's pants and not exclusively Pants For Men With Huge Butts And Legs. which is the only style I could even hope to fit in before. and even then it was a stretch.

big pic dump of shitty mirror selfies taken over the last few months:

:)

(also I really debated sharing this one but I already included it in the yelp review I left my surgeon so fuck it: here's a tasteful before-and-after in my undies where you can see my bare legs for easier comparison. left pic is one week pre-op, right pic is about five months post-op. including it as a link instead of embedding it in the post in case your boss happens to be reading over your shoulder at this very moment. also this is the one and only time you will ever see me stripped down on tumblr dot com so don't get used to it lol.)

[psychologeek]

I just think it’s wack that you only care about Israeli civilians. Yes their lives mattered. But instead of focusing on the real reason why they died, ie, the tremendously irresponsible government of Israel and their bloodthirsty colonialist mission, you focus on “”””antisemitism””””” where there really is none. I’m sure there’s like two (2) antisemitic pro Palestinians. The vast majority of us are normal people who want peace and freedom, and for Israel to stop killing people. And for Israeli innocents to stop dying too. Some of us are even Jews who finally woke up. Sincerely, a Jew who’s tired of colonisation being done in our name

So, I wasn't going to reply to this bc. LOL. Don't feed the troll.

But I'm currently hearing explosions in the background so I was like. Oh well.

Let's unpack it.

I just think it’s wack that you only care about Israeli civilians.

I mean. Y'know. אם אין אני לי מי לי? (Clearly not you).

Wow. I'm shocked. How dare I, an Israeli civilian with friends and family who happens to also be, by coincidence, Israeli civilians, dare care about such vile creatures? (Looking outside of the window) (Remember that I can't, bc it's blocked to prevent shattering by airwaves and sharpanels). Must be a day that ends with a y!

Yes their lives mattered.

I feel like there's a "but" coming.

But instead of focusing on the real reason why they died,

Are we still talking Israeli citisens? BC the current causes of death are missiles, gunshots and stabbing.

ie, the tremendously irresponsible government of Israel and their bloodthirsty colonialist mission,

Funny, you keep using that word. I don't think you know what that means.

Also, having strong opinion about a remote teritory which you aren't a citizen of? Tell me more about colonialism.

you focus on “”””antisemitism””””” where there really is none.

laughing out so hard I actually cry. Like, seriously?

Maybe you, personally, haven't met antisemism (or more likely, were unable to detact it). THAT WAS NOT THE CASE FOR THE VICE MAJORITY OF JEWS.

From vandalism and verbal harassment to physical harassment, beatdowns, and at least on one case - death.

[Funny enough, this article says "Alnaji’s and Kessler’s lives forever changed on Nov. 5 at a pro-Palestinian rally at Westlake and Thousand Oaks boulevards in Thousand Oaks." Well yes. Kessler's life ENDED. His poor killer may face prison. Poor man.

This is antisemic.]

I’m sure there’s like two (2) antisemitic pro Palestinians. The vast majority of us are normal people who want peace and freedom, and for Israel to stop killing people. And for Israeli innocents to stop dying too. Some of us are even Jews who finally woke up. Sincerely, a Jew who’s tired of colonisation being done in our name

Sorry, but if your "peace and freedom" refers to the myth of "The Happy Dhimi", you have a problem.

Some examples, though:

This is the official logo of the Houthis, the terror group pro-pals love so much. the "Curse upon the jews" REALLY gives some vibes of love and caring.

As someone who lived through the latest Intifada, this REALLY makes me feel safe out there:

So, the terror Organistion currently firing at me isn't a terrorist? do tell me more

And of course, the "resistence". Wow I wonder what happened on October 7th?

more (explained) #1, more #2, more #3, honestly just go to #antisemitism here.

And, last but not least:

INDIGENOUS PEOPLE CANNOT BE COLONIALS IN THEIR ANCESTORS' LAND.

WE HAVE 3,000 YEARS OF HISTORY HERE.

But, well, I guess you're from america. Strange how you don't care about colonialism when it's actually. Y'know. BY-THE-BOOK.

~

Another case of kidnaps by terror organisation (Boko Haram). And another (ISIS) (Hamas connection).

[joyburble]

This (ep 25) is such a romantic speech. We find out that the insane and terrifying situation she created in episodes 11-15, means something quite different to him now when he looks back on it: being alone with her, waiting for lightning, talking, looking at stars. We notice that none of the changes have been sudden. There are decisive moments, but the changes they cause in all the characters take time, and that makes them feel real.

Next, it occurs to him to tell her how pretty she is, he knows she likes to be pretty:

but it's not about appearance, it's still about meaning and the longing for connection and companionship

He reacts calmly to her non-response, with a little smile:

Pours the wine (hers first)

Invites her to drink.

She looks at him for the first time, and he tells her he is happy. As in, he not only feels it, but knows how to name it.

And then she does this:

Which is a turning point for her - an act of deliberate, intentional disobedience.

She makes him acknowledge the problem, although he still thinks he can prevail, which is interesting: it's not going to work, but I find the arrogance (or habit of backing himself to win, regardless of the situation) very likeable.

And it all kicks off as we switch to Xiao Run, Danyin and Xie Wanqing for a moment. Another moment of intense character likeability is here, where he immediately switches into "hmmmm .... what the hell just happened" mode, and calmly asks who was responsible. And then, he doesn't even try to go after Rong Hao. Instead he tries to deal with the immediate problem (at which he fails successfully).

Did you notice the change of makeup (look at the eyes) to denote the effects of the Evil Qi he just got smacked with? (If he'd stood still like she told him, he'd have been fine). Where's the curse when you actually need it? Maybe she's too conflicted for it work properly.

All I have to say to that is, LOL.

Anyway I just adore this whole sequence. And I like the way that when he's genuinely being romantic, he's not remotely, not at all, like the trope being satirised in Episide 3:

And of course he isn't, because for him, the process of becoming a real person again has been inextricable from experiencing the fact that she is a real person, too.

[inchidentally]

I'm so curious to hear what you think about non RPF differences between Lando with Carlos, DR and Oscar. I don't do a lot of RPF shipping personally but your takes on all of them are so intriguing and feel pretty truthful. I feel like fandom ignores that it hasn't all been smooth sailing with Lando and his teammates and want to know what you think about the less rose-tinted side of that?

okay so jsyk I always end up a little rose-tinted even when talking about non-RPF Lando relationships but I like to hope I stay truthful in terms of not inventing any kind of sexual/dating/etc narrative that just doesn't exist. and I'm afraid I'm about to go insane in my response so hopefully you don't mind that either lol.

also @twinkodium is so much better at timelines than I am so pls can you add your part to this if you get a chance??

so just to establish which I think we all know: Lando has a tendency to take his warm heart out of his chest and hold it up to anyone who seems even remotely kind or friendly. yes, he's got a bite to him and a temper but honestly that's all also part of being far too open to people. if a person - especially other men and boys - show him even a hint of affection or camaraderie then he's all in immediately. especially as the youngest driver on the grid for so many years.

truly, I think Carlos and Daniel didn't know what to do when Lando put his little beating heart into their big, clumsy hands. the fact that the level of openness and devotion they got - immediately - from Lando was so much down to Lando's insecurity in F1 and how much he was dealing with mentally, was way too much for two guys who honestly only expect to have a laugh sometimes with their teammate. maybe be chummy enough to hang out sometimes and make media responsibilities less tedious.

and Lando was so happy to be the adoring satellite, shrieking with laughter over all their jokes in exchange for him latching securely onto an established F1 personality. but Carlos and Daniel were running the show while they were his teammates - they were the entertainment and Lando was sort of a conduit for the adoring fans. and what's interesting is I think that we can pretty visibly see the turn with each of them where Lando came thudding down to that realization himself. that he would have to change his own ideas about friendship with both of them in order to remain friends at all. there's the infamous 2020 carlando "breakup" gifset (here) where Lando's face just sours at Carlos in his traitorous blood red suit making some offhand comment

and Lando cuts such a wide berth from him that it puts two whole people between them. by the time Lando reaches the reporters waiting at the media pen, his face looks gray and set

and it's like damn, we straight up witnessed Lando standing up for himself and setting up some boundaries with Carlos.

the moments with Daniel were more scattered but you could see them when Daniel was doing his usual attempts at the bromance thing and sometimes Lando was just. not. having it. there's the moment in particular of Daniel coming up behind him and hooking his chin over Lando's shoulder and oh. you can feel the coolness coming off Lando bc he's genuinely going through something and needs a friend, not another performance for the cameras.

ohhhh and the response of "no one" when asked who his best friend was on the grid was before casting around a bit and finally saying Carlos. parallel that to his irritated dismissal of the journalist pushing for carlando in Vegas and reminding them that none of these guys are his real friends they're his F1 buddies and he "hates them" when racing them. by the time 2023 rolled around Lando grew up, set up boundaries and will only give what he chooses to his friendships with Carlos and Daniel. which is overall so much healthier and has probably ensured that those friendship didn't die out completely. but they're not what they once were for him. Carlos and Daniel are allowed to visit the garden of Eden that is being fully intimate with Lando - but the gates always shut behind them when it’s time to leave.

genuinely I don't blame Carlos or even Daniel (even if I don't like a lot about him) bc literally neither of them has ever had a friend like Lando - and probably don't know any guy like him. and they're both such Typical Dudes - as well as being fully a different generation to Lando - so how were they supposed to know a sensitive, naive kid like this would be in F1 let alone their teammate? guys they know never butterfly themselves open to other guys except for extremely long term friendships - if even then. Lando above all wants to have a good heart and he just trusts people, and while it makes men absolutely crazy about him it's surely got to get him hurt a lot. you can even see it with his media pen work where he reacts to difficult questions or fairly open hostility with a wide disarming smile because he'd rather bring someone round than openly fight with them. even Daniel who definitely utilizes his smile to dominate and disarm can still easily be baited into hostility compared to Lando. but when someone persists in being a twat to Lando, he just closes off with that cold, sour look and bam. that moron just lost themselves any access to the garden of Eden.

and I'm not saying we know enough about Oscar to say that Lando's heart is definitely safe with him, but the absolutely huge difference is that Oscar came into being his teammate fully aware of who Lando is and he was willing to hold back and be content just being a teammate and let a friendship develop if Lando felt so inclined. *hint: this sign of respect and deference will be significant!

like we saw how they fell into this twinning thing at first where Oscar would mirror Lando a lot of the time - out of nerves but also deference. then as the season went on and the car still struggled, they developed sort of a tentative camaraderie born out of equally blighted hopes.

but what's really interesting is how much Silverstone was truly the turning point and not even in a fandom goggles sense. I isolated the following moments out in a video below: there's this hilarious little moment right before the fan stage where Oscar is asking Lando something like 'what's that (playing)?' and Lando seems to think Oscar is referring to the (very obvious) crowd noise and Oscar goes "no not them you idiot the song!" and it goes back and forth wayyy too long for the brain cells I would like to assume they have before they finally work out between them what song is playing.

and Lando had by the time of the fan stage momentarily set aside his own euphoria and positively showered Oscar with praise at press briefing after the race. he also repeated it at the fan stage in front of Oscar for good measure! and clearly loves it when Oscar says how he was rooting for Lando leading the race at one point.

then, like something out of a movie, as they're posing for the photo in front of the crowd, Oscar slips that arm around Lando's waist and urges him closer and you can see the whole of every thought on Lando's face. the look of surprise as Oscar's strong arm jostles his body a little, the blossoming delight, the 'woah is he really initiating this? he never does this!', and finally the big beaming smile as he wraps his arm around Oscar and settles in.

and just a few races later when Lando has another podium under his belt and has qualified 2nd at the Dutch GP, there's this other movie moment where it suddenly clicks for Lando… Oscar will always show up for him no matter what. not just when they're both doing well or both struggling, he'll always show up for Lando. out loud and where everyone can see but without a hint of performance to it.

and when you scroll through @piastrisms wonderful post-race gif compilations, you can see that dynamic shift even more to the suddenly much more tentative but openly kind of 'crushing' on each other. Oscar starts to let himself think that maybe, just maybe! the Lando of his 8-year social media obsession really likes Oscar for who he is and not just as a team obligation! this leads to him taking a few more risks during the McLaren challenges and by the time they film the beloved Austin material, Oscar has actually started to surprise Lando. from there on you can see Oscar's relief at making Lando really laugh and smile build his confidence right at the exact same time that Lando looks thrown off center and his boundaries start falling away. that mirroring they used to do started to build into trusting each other, which then led to them genuinely liking each other, and then mutually wanting to stay together as teammates. and isn't that level of security something new for Lando!

and you know what I noticed in all this that has me frothing and biting? that instead of Lando handing his beating heart over to his teammates and having it bruised and withdrawn? with Oscar, it's been the exact opposite. Lando had finally decided to be cautious from the start and keep this new anomaly teammate at arm's length - and for a while felt relieved bc the anomaly turned out to be so damn competent and quick! *oh and the anomaly was showing a level of respect and deference that Lando was not at all used to, which was so very nice but also ?? was the anomaly a little bit cold toward him ?? but then Silverstone happened and dawn broke. we finished the season out with Lando actually looking to Oscar for affirmations and wriggling excitedly and looking at Oscar with that wide-open expression on his face and Lando clearly beginning to wonder if maybe his sacred heart might fit comfortably in Oscar's hands that are smaller and gentler than the other men he's known on the grid? maybe how much more steady and careful and devoted Oscar is when it comes to his racing is reflected in how he has treated Lando, so unlike the usual "Lando effect" bromances that get all the attention and that the cameras and fans eat up. maybe the big, traditional handsome alphas and their big displays of affection are one kind of friend for Lando but perhaps not so good as a teammate. and maybe a friendship that grows too steadily and quietly for networks and social media teams to take much of an interest is another kind of friend, and maybe just the right kind of teammate.

[berylcups]

COULD YOU PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO EITHER A RIZZOTTO with new y/n La squad goals member who is happy go lucky (annoyingly so & loud) and does their best to make everyone happy but is actually very insecure because they have a history of mental abuse and is scared to let people down or have them be mean to them. So they always pretend everything is alright for others sake. 2 maybe, New la squad up member who has a chronic illness but works from the nave because they have a remote stand. And has a lot of days where they try to avoid people and go in and out of their room purposely when no one is around because they don’t want the others to think of them as week when they know they already do from over hearing conversations specifically from Prosciutto. When they accidentally walk into a room when everyone is there and ya know classic turn around their behind me aren’t they troupe and he doesn’t apologize and just states it again infront of them (for like the third time they have herd him say it). They say nothing stand there with tears because this was infront of the whole crew. And then the next day they move out of bace and just do operations from a new remote location because they where such a bother. And ya know no one leaves the mafia without.. . So they just use text or voice chat like before just they don’t talk or use voice to text. Or just type. Ovi x Prosciutto. But I want to see this man get vonerable. And maybe some praise and compliments. Basically he misses them realizes he said this stuff because he couldn’t admit his feelings yatta yatta. And basically big boys up to get them to move back and admit he was wrong. And maybe Pesci says he’s wrong infront of the crew and nocks some sence into him.

Gachhaio (whatever however you type it lol) is paired up with a new member who is skiddish. To loud noises. A suffer to verbal abuse in the past. And it gives them PTSD. Comfort

And last potential one, idk if you write for Pesci alot of people don’t. He is a sweet boy. 🥺 but maybe same new member situation. But y/n is kinda… an air head. With an hour glass figure but chubby for sure. And insecure about it. So when the others hit on her they think they are making fun especially when they are out and Illusio makes a comment about their weight when eating. After he’s tired of hearing Formaggio hit on y/n even through it’s not getting through to them. And for once Pesci stands up to someone(him lol) and says he’s just jealous he can’t get someone as beautiful or something. And than the guys all tease him after that. But y/n thanks him and starts to like him. But what he was saying about Illusio was actually a self reflection. And y/n catches him um… stealing underwear one day. Praise and pervert kink ig idk.

Anyways those are some ideas idk you don’t have to use them lol but I thought it would be cool lol. All Yandere tho please is you use one or all or none idk LMAO 😭 sorry if these where too long or detailed 😭😭😭 it’s been a long day and I’m high lol girl just knows what they want 😭😭😭

Yandere Ghiaccio x Abused! Reader

Hey there! Sorry it took me forever to answer this! I was just trying to figure where to start with what I wanted to do with this! Don’t be sorry, details can be helpful! But I try to do 1 ask at a time since my ADHD brain can only handle that much at a time 😅. ADHD brain go brrrr 🫨

For this ask, I opted to do a yandere ghiaccio x emotionally abused/abandonment issue reader if that’s okay- I figured that would work best with my current skillset since theres a broad spectrum of ptsd symptoms. At least that’s how I have had dealt with it first hand. Either way I hope this is something that you were looking for and I hope you can get some enjoyment out of it! 🥺

Tw: physical abuse, mental abuse, abandonment issues, drugging, kidnapping, hypothermia, unalive mention, SA (mentioned only)

Notes: this gets pretty sad with lots of feels but ends with comfort…. Oh and yandere tropes . Please heed the TWs before reading if you’re in a sad place, your mental health is more important!💜 Beryl

“ Who do you wanna live with y/n-baby? Me and step daddy? Or your deadbeat real dad?” Y/N’s mother chirped as she was going through her belongings to put into another cardboard box. They were moving from _____ all the way to Morioh Japan.

“Uh um…” Y/N had to think about it for a moment. Her mom is blissfully unaware that her stepfather is abusive to her, even though the bruises couldn’t be more obvious. She rubs the sore flesh on her small wrist. “I think I want… to stay with Daddy.”

———-

“Woah kiddo! You wanna stay with ME??? You know I travel a lot and you won’t be able to settle down in a real home like your moms! Besides, what about getting a stable education and group of friends?” He nearly choked to death on his Vietnamese coffee . “Shit I don’t wanna be responsible for Y/N! I kill for a living and they’re gonna get in the way of that!”

Y/N rolls up their sleeves and shows the bruises the stepfather inflicted on them. “ Daddy please… I don’t want to be hit anymore.”

For once in this selfish man’s life, it tugged on his heart strings seeing the deep purple bruises decorate their body. “I guess I have no choice. They’re going to be miserable living under their roof.”

“Alright kiddo… you can come with me.”

They visited places all over the world. Surfing from hotel to hotel.Bangkok, Dandong, Vladivostok, Prague, Abu Dhabi, Paris, and many many others… until they settled into Italy.

———-

For the past 7 years they were in a boarding school

in Italy. Their father saved up some to send them there to get some sense of normalcy. They met after every assignment he had. He was going to be there for their school graduation but… they waited and waited. He never came. No letters, no phone calls, no nothing. Did he move on to a better life without them? Or due to the line of work…did he die? Y/N was devastated. Either way meant heartbreak and Y/N didn’t have the heart to find the answer for closure. A gaping wound that could never heal.

Fast forward to now- Y/N with nowhere left to turn. They join Passione in hopes of making a decent living. They felt their lives were already ruined so what’s there to lose in joining a crime syndicate?

————

So how did it end up like this? Y/N alone in a basement. No windows , no light, no heat. The only thing covering them was their sleeveless top and a pair of shorts. Y/N tried curl up to maintain body heat but a pair of cuffs prevented them from doing so.

“Where am I? What happened?” The thoughts echoed in Y/Ns mind. Then above them they hear footsteps, then the turn of a door knob. The bright light bleeding through the door burns Y/Ns eyes as they squint as they hear someone walking down the steps. From the brief glimpse their silhouette looked very familiar…and then their heart sunk when they heard the voice.

“Well it’s about time you woke up. You really kept me waiting, you know?”

It was Ghiaccio. Their friend, their teammate, the one who they trusted their life with. He kidnapped them.

“Ghiaccio… why?” They said through chattering teeth.

“Why?! What do you mean WHY??? You wouldn’t move in with me! That’s why!” He raised his voice as he took offense to their question.

That’s where the memories began flooding back… They invited him over to discuss their next mission together. They both wanted to be prepared for this particular stand user.

————-

Y/N stood in front of the kitchenette waiting for the kettle to heat up.

Ghiaccio sat on her futon bed watching them as they swayed their hips from side to side, and humming to some unknown tune. It seemed to put him in a trance.

“How many sugars do you want Ghia?” Y/N asked.

Ghiaccio snapped out of it. “ Oh! Uh… 1 is fine.”

“Okay~! 1 sugar for you, and 3 sugars for me!” They poured the tea into 2 equal sized mugs and sat it down on a fold out table in front of him. “ here you go, just the way you like it Ghia ~”

“ thanks… uh. Y/N… doesn’t this place make you feel a bit claustrophobic?” Ghiaccio probed.

“ well it’s not the nicest place but it’s all I can really afford y’know? Especially since the boss is being extra cheap and cutting our pay, I really don’t have a choice.” Y/N said as they blew on their tea to cool it down.

A commotion could be heard from the floor above. It sounds like an argument between a hooker and a pimp.

“ what the hell is that?” Ghiaccio barked .

“ oh calm down. It’s just the neighbors from up stairs. It’s not a big deal.” Y/N said unbothered by the additional noise .

“Y/N look- don’t take this the wrong way but… this place is a fucking dump! This is no place for an AFAB like you!” Ghiaccio confessed bluntly.

“Ugh, again with the way I live. Do we have to always criticize me and my life?! First my accent is too thick, I have poor grammar, now I dress like a slut, or I don’t assimilate to Italian culture, NOW I live in squalor to you?! Is nothing ever good enough for you Ghiaccio?!” Y/N snapped.

“ What?! I said nothing about any of those things! Yes they need improvement but that’s not what I’m talking about right now! I just want you to be somewhere safe! I demand you come move in with me!” He yelled back.

“Move in with YOU??? No way! Not with the way you criticize me! After the way you’ve been treating me lately I wanna be as far from you as possible! Look…I’m gonna take a minute to cool down and freshen up in the bathroom to collect my thoughts kay?”

“Ugh fine. Whatever.” He responded coolly not wanting to escalate the situation further.

“This is unacceptable. They can’t live like this!” Ghiaccio thought angrily. He looked around the small apartment and saw outdated amenities, hand me down furniture and a sad excuse for a bed that he was sitting on that doubled as a couch. The futon was so flattened he could feel the support beams dig straight into his ass! Not to mention the tea tastes like shit! The poor thing can’t get even a nice box of loose leaf tea! What the fuck!

Her tea is unattended and he remembers the sedative he got from Melone. “ Here’s this in case you decide you want to get closer with Y/N.” Melone winked.

He was pissed at the time that he would even dare think that he should drug them! But now…maybe it’s his chance to get what he’s always wanted, and to give them a REAL home . He took the tablet out from his wallet, out of the wrapper and dropped it right into their drink.

“ Are we done arguing about my living situation now? ” Y/N huffed as they came back out folding their arms defensively.

“Look Y/N. You know I’m only looking out for you. I’ll drop it, I know sometimes I can be too harsh.”

Y/N took a sip of their tea and smiled. “Thanks Ghia. I know you mean well. Let’s just pretend this argument never happened and let’s have a good day.”

The whole night seem to become a blur. The last thing they remember is Ghiaccio saying something that he wanted to get off his chest. And then, nothing…

———-

“Gh-Ghiaccio… I have a h-home. I invited you over…rree-remember?” Y/N stuttered from fear and the sudden temperature drop.

“ You call that dingy little studio apartment a home?! No way! I told you that you shouldn’t live there! And it’s in the shitty side of town! What if you get robbed?! Or raped?! Or even worse, killed?!” He questioned ignoring the complete irony that he literally drugged and kidnapped them.

The cold was getting too much to bear. The goosebumps littered the entirety of Y/N skin, and the pain radiated in their hands and feet. They were starting to lose dexterity. Hypothermia was beginning to set in.

“Please Ghiaccio…. Please Stop using white album . I’ll do whatever you say- I’m - I’m ju-just so c-c-cold… I can’t feel my fingers or my toes…”

“I can’t let you leave. You clearly don’t know what’s good for you. You’re so goddamn dense Y/N! Don’t you know that I’ve been looking out for you all this time? I can’t live without you!” He stomped his foot out of frustration.

“I know… and I’m sorry… but Ghiaccio you know I have trouble trusting people right ? You’ll just get tired of me and toss me aside.” They wept.

“ you have the audacity to think I will get TIRED OF YOU ?! For fucks sake Y/N! I’m goddamn obsessed with you!” He couldn’t believe that they were doubting his love. If this wasn’t the very being of his affection he’d strangle them right now.

“Who’s the one who drives you everywhere? Who’s the one who’s always with you on missions? Who’s the one who always makes sure you get home safe? Who’s the one who stands up for you when the guys are being assholes??? All me! You think that’s all just a coincidence? That I’m doing it as just as a friend? Fuck no! I do it because I love you dammit!” He yelled.

His rage just made the room get even colder. Y/N definitely couldn’t feel their hands, they tried to make a fist out of frustration but their hand barely moved. They started to hyperventilate a fog. The tears were slowly starting to solidify on their cheeks.

“Ghiaccio you don’t get it! You dumbass!” They cried from frustration. “My mother never wanted me…My father never wanted me…the people who I thought were my friends didn’t want me, so who the hell wants me??? I don’t even want me! How can I believe you would want me?! It just feels like a sick joke!” They sobbed.

For once in his life, he was at a loss for words. He felt like someone hit him hard in the gut. He knew about their background but didn’t know they felt so low that they didn’t believe that they were going to ever be loved.

“Y/N…Don’t say shit like that.” His voice toned down to almost a whisper. He got down on their level and his features softened as he wiped away the tears.

“ Don’t you know what it feels like to not be loved? I’ve been abandoned and left to fend for myself. I thought about ending my life so many times. But I always push it off another day…in hopes that you’ll change my mind. You always do when we talk. Hehe… when you complain about English and other things it makes me forget about how lonely I am.” Y/N confessed.

“I’m glad you chose to stay. And I want you to stay here. With me. I will go crazy without you.” He hugged them hard, nuzzling his head into their neck.

He felt like he was made of fire, he was so warm. They nuzzled back, returning the affection.

“Can you stop your stand and uncuff me now? I promise I’ll stay.” Y/N pleaded.

He thought about it for a minute as the cold dissipated. “Hmm… okay. As long as you stay here. This is your home now. Anything you need I’ll get it for you. I’m gonna be your provider.” He gave his conditions as he uncuffed them.

“Okay Ghia. It’s set in stone. This is my home now.” They hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.

Feeling their cool lips brush up against his cheek caused all the blood flow to go straight to his face.

“Let’s go upstairs and get you warmed up.” He grabbed their hand gently and guided them upstairs to the bedroom where all the comfy blankets were to warm themselves.

“Your room looks so cozy…and messy. Hehe.” Y/N giggled looking at the unmade bed and articles of clothing tossed around the room.

“Uh yeah… I like to keep my house neat but I never bother with my bedroom because I’m the only one who is ever in here. But now that you’re here I should start cleaning up.” He muttered as he scratched the back of his head from embarrassment.

“It’s not a big deal. I can clean up after the both of us. It’s just laundry.” Y/N smiled as they sat down on the bed. “Uh… will you hold me to help me warm back up? My hands and feet stopped hurting but I still have goosebumps…”

“Yeah.” He laid down behind them and nervously wrapped his arms around them. “This help?”

“Yeah. A lot, you’re really warm.” Y/N scooted in closer and closed the gap between them.

“…” they couldn’t look from behind but his face was as red as his glasses. He nuzzled his face into their hair and neck. “I hope you will feel at home here soon. I know it’s not the way that I should have brought you here but I just couldn’t stand seeing you struggle so bad. You’re good at lying and pretending everything is okay and I know when you’re not. You lose the light in your eyes.” He hugged hard like he was afraid of losing them.

“I know… but you know me. Probably more than I know myself. I’m headstrong and never like saying I need help.”

“This is the first time in forever I feel like I’m home. My father used to tell me that the world is our home and there’s so much to look forward to. That used to comfort me…but only for a little. The boarding school was nice but I was the only ____ so it felt kinda lonely. But being in here with you makes me feel a way I never felt before. I feel so safe and fuzzy…especially in your arms. And I know… I can’t take it for granted. Our work makes our future uncertain. So that’s why I’m going to cherish each moment I have with you. All we can do is live each day to the fullest.”

“Good. I’m glad. Because I don’t want to ever lose you. If any bastard even tries to come near you I’m gonna freeze them to death.” He said while yawning.

“Aw you’re making me sleepy… and don’t worry, I only have eyes for you Ghia.” Y/N yawned back.

“Go to sleep Y/N. It’s almost midnight anyway. I’m tired too. If any of the guys tries to bother us now that we’re together… I’m not going hesitate to deck them in the face. Well, good night Y/N.” He pulled the duvet over each other.

“Nighty night Ghia.”

[jev-urisk]

im running a little late but happy STS (Sunday instead of Saturday lol)

Why did Klaus's dad make a deal? How was he tricked?

Hehehehehe... -rubs hands together- 😈 

How did Demyen Calvaire, a first class Demon with so much power and resources at his finger tips, end up agreeing to knock up a fae- the sworn enemies of demons who fled to a remote desert after demons destroyed the fae court? How did Klaus come to be? I'll answer under the cut because of

✨ BIG 'OL SPOILERS✨ 

Alyanna Feardaigh is a fae woman who was 13th in line for the Seelie throne (or more), but when demons destroy the fae court in the war she's suddenly the next in line to inherit the title.. not that it means much now that she's out in the desert of The Outlands just trying to survive.

Two thousand years go by, revolutions rise and each is crushed. Alyanna has become 'blighted', a condition that occurs in fae when they have lived without enough magical connection to plants. To keep the royal line alive, she decides the unthinkable- to have a child that will be strong enough to survive the blight, a child that will be strong enough.. that maybe they could make their way back to the old fae court. Alyanna hides her pointed ears and starts making visits to Du'Preve, the lowest district in the empire ruled by demons.

It's time. It may even be past time. She's long felt the magic waning from the earth, growing almost imperceptibly weaker. One day, it will take her with it. She can't allow it. The fae must change, or the Court will die. They'll see that, given time. Time may be her enemy, but there are ways, and that's what brings her here. Her target is nursing both a drink and what she expects is wounded pride after his target walked off. She inhabits the space the vampire vacated and leans across the bar to order a drink. "And anotha' one of what my friend here is drinkin'," she adds, giving the dark haired man a coy look.

She eventually lucks out, finding this lust demon on vacation, and she acts the doe-eyed prey to get Demyen Calvaire to feed on her, setting up her trap.

"I might just find the time to be nice to you again." He murmurs, basking in the afterglow of the meal. She rolls onto her side, resting a hand on his chest. "I like the sound of that," she says. "You'll come see me more? And keep bein' this nice to me?" Demyen swipes his tongue across his fangs, he was used to prey reacting like this- usually he kept things vague, but.. "I could arrange for that." Certainly, she was worth a second meal. A vibration not unlike a hum of electricity shudders through where they touch and he pulls his arm into his chest at the strange feeling, "What was.." Demyen twists on the bed towards the woman walking away from him. "What, you mean our deal?" She wades into the indoor pool up to her waist, ducks under the water, and resurfaces, scrubbing away the ink of the fake litch runes she'd etched onto her collarbone. Her wet hair is plastered to her head, revealing the pointed tips of her ears. "Demon like you, I think you'd know what a faebinding is… or are you too young to remember the war?" Pink eyes widen, and a growl rips from his chest. "You conniving little-" suddenly his voice chokes off, and his hand goes to his chest. It ached. Somehow he knew it wasn't a physical strain, but none the less it pulled taut within him and threatened to snap if he said the next word. He rubs his chest as the feeling fades away just a quickly as it had come. He had heard of faebinding during his academy days.. a cursed trap that fae would place on others that would result in complete loss of magic if you didn't follow the demands of the trickster's 'deal'. "Best learn quick," she advises. "Be a shame if you slipped up. 'Be nice', Nexi." He grits his teeth, tearing himself from the bed and advancing to the edge of the pool. "What do you want, fae? Why go through all of these deceptions to curse me?"

So, Alyanna tells Demyen that she will call off the fae deal if he gives her a child. He absolutely refuses, which she expected, but he's faebound to see her more- and she lives way out in The Outlands. Over the next couple of years, Demyen makes the harrowing journey to Alyanna's home again and again. She carefully balances a give-and-take to wear him down, learning more about demons, and keeping him interested in her lust- the very energy he needs in order to make the journey back home.

He arrives at the dusty shack that torments his every moment, but it's not as he remembers it- outside the door are crates and sacks brimming with her cobbled-together ideas of medical equipment. The wretched fae woman walks out of the door with another crate in her hands. "Oh, how lucky of you to have shown up at the right time. I'm moving farther into The Outlands, it ain't so safe here anymore." Farther?? Demyen already had to come so far, and all the demons close to him had grown suspicious of his long trips and sudden illnesses. How could he.. Demyen collapses to his knees. "I'll... I'll do it. I'll give you what you want." She smiles, and it's warm and welcoming, her voice is sultry and gentle, "Come inside, Demyen. Let's talk."

Their last deal is replaced with a new one, and Demyen becomes faebound to give Alyanna a child along with a few safeguards she adds in for the safety of her future child which are major factors in how Klaus ends up where he is in the main 7 Circles story. --------------------------------------------- Thanks for the ask!! I'm tagging the 7C group just in case any of them want the spoilers lol: @gioiaalbanoart @biblicallyaccuratefruitbat @lychhiker-writes @autism-purgatory @wyked-ao3

@cowboybrunch @zackprincebooks @smellyrottentrees @tragedycoded@aalinaaaaaa

@the-golden-comet @quillswriting @nbkuhn @ddgraywrites @desastreus

@theglitchywriterboi @shanakin-skywalker @honeybewrites @sincerelydorky @the-letterbox-archives

[rockyroadkylers]

It's Friday night here, so I'm kicking off my weekend with a

Weekend WIP Game!

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more).

Someone tagged me to do this last time, but I just felt like doing it this time because it's been over a year and my list has changed drastically so... I guess I'm starting a fresh tag chain 😂 I don't know who created this game, but thanks to whoever did, because these are fun questions!

1. WIP List:

(in no particular order)

The Paris trip outtake (Flower Fic 'verse)

Loverboy Henry (the one where he woos Alex)

Oxford Boys

Omegaverse Rejection Sickness AU

Omegaverse Rejection Sickness AU Prequel

Single All The Way AU

Dad Alex AU

Hanahaki AU

Childhood Friends Sequel

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

Hanahaki AU, I think, but Dad Alex is catching up fast!

Edit: lmao, just kidding, Dad Alex AU has like 8k on Hanahaki AU so far, prose-wise. I had to check the actual word counts because I haven't looked at Hanahaki AU in a while, but I've been working on Dad Alex AU a lot lately, so that makes sense.

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

Hard to tell; it always is, at this point. The outline for Hanahaki AU is around 18k. Dad Alex's outline is about 10k. The sequel for It's Nice To Have A Friend is going to be long, too, but I'm nowhere near close to finished outlining that, yet. But the size of the outline doesn't necessarily indicate how long the fics themselves will be; it just means I included a lot of detail so I don't confuse myself when I get around to actually writing the scenes I have planned.

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

Currently, I'm really enjoying Dad Alex. It's not completely angst-free, but what angst is there is generally pretty quickly resolved, because I can't stand to draw out conflict and drama when there's a little kid involved. This AU is sort of my escape, right now; it's lighthearted and sweet, and that's exactly what I need, right now.

(I've also been enjoying writing my New Year's fic, but I literally just finished writing that, so it's not really a WIP anymore lmao)

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

Hanahaki 😂 it's a huge project, and so many people have been excited about it for so long, myself included, i'm worried that it won't live up to the hype that's been built up around it. Plus it's such an intense concept, sometimes I just sit and look at it like "oh my god, what the fuck" 💀 like yeah, it has a happy ending, but it takes sooo long to get there. I promise it will be worth it, though!

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

Maybe Single All The Way? Because I proposed that concept as a potential holiday fic idea and it won the poll I put out a couple months ago, and I do like it, but I ended up losing steam on it pretty quickly. I started thinking, am I doing this because I want to, or because everyone else wants me to?

It might have just been bad timing, there was some other life stuff going on around that time that kind of made me not want to work on the fic, but I haven't really looked at it since October.

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

I have a very lovely beta ( @44whispers muah 🥰) for Hanahaki AU! They also look over some of my other stuff from time to time, but most things I just edit myself lol. It's not like I don't have the time 😂

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?

Oh, absolutely. Why do you think it's taken me this long to get started on the INTHAF sequel? Why do you think Hanahaki AU has taken this long? Why do you think I've posted three fics this year, none of which have been even remotely related to anything I was talking about beforehand? 😂

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

I don't think any of my WIPs have OCs yet... Alex will have an OC doctor in Hanahaki AU, of course, but I haven't picked a name for her yet because I haven't written any of her scenes. I think y'all will like her, though, she's absolutely not gonna take any of his shit.

...

oh my fucking god

ISA IS AN OC

DAD ALEX IS AN AU FOR A REASON

DO YOU EVER GET SO ATTACHED TO SOMETHING YOU'VE CREATED THAT YOU FORGET IT WASN'T PART OF THE ORIGINAL MATERIAL

I'm not editing that answer, that was a spectacular brain blip 🤣

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

I still don't really write smut 😂 My New Year's fic is probably the sexiest thing I've written, and it's all still mostly implied. But, again... that's not a WIP anymore. It's just also not posted 😅 Other than that... the Paris fic or Oxford Boys might give it a try? Dad Alex AU will have a couple scenes where Henry and Alex get intimate, but that fic mostly focuses on family. The rest are either T or G, or too far into the hurt/comfort/whump categories to get too sexy 😅 (Though, in the case of Hanahaki, that's not for lack of trying on Alex's part.)

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

Hanahaki. No question. The Rejection Sickness fics are gonna tug at your heartstrings, but they're not gonna drag it out nearly as much as Hanahaki.

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

Hmm... That's a good question tbh. Probably one of the longer ones, like Hanahaki or Dad Alex, but... characterization is one of the main things people compliment when they comment on my fics and there's no way to not make that sound like a flex 🤣

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

I still don't know what this means 😅

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

Hanahaki, probably. It's been a few months since I've actively worked on it, but I have not forgotten how much effort I put into that outline, lmao. That was MONTHS of work, going back and forth with my beta, working out plot holes and having sudden middle-of-the-night realizations that I had figured out a scene that had been stumping me for weeks. That 40-page outline is a thing of beauty.

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

Currently... Probably Dad Alex 😂 Idk why, I feel like it should probably be Hanahaki, but... 🤷‍♀️ maybe it's because Dad Alex is a little easier to write?

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

Maybe sometimes. Just vaguely Firstprince-shaped dreams once in a while that bear resemblance to things I write about, which makes sense because the things I write about come from my brain and so do my dreams 😂

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?

I mean, yeah, Hanahaki AU is complicated as fuck 🤣 So many things in that fic are like... none of this would have to happen if Alex made even slightly different choices, but he's Alex, so he doesn't.

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

Ooh! Maybe the "Loverboy Henry" fic. That's the one where he takes Alex on a date after Alex gets stood up, and Alex thinks he's just doing it to be nice but Henry is doing everything in his power to make Alex realize that it's a real date. It's miscommunication at it's finest and it's so ridiculous because everything Henry is doing to try to woo Alex is working but Alex thinks Henry is just being a good friend.

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

A couple of them will, yes! Hanahaki AU and Rejection Sickness AU and the childhood friends sequel will all at least briefly contain outsider POVs.

Edit because I somehow missed the second half of this question: Rejection Sickness prequel will focus a lot on Oscar having to face the consequences of his actions following the divorce, mending his relationship with his kids and earning back their trust.

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs.

There's gonna be a scene in Oxford Boys where Henry has a drunk white girl "can I tell you a secret" moment and tells Alex he loves him but I haven't decided what happens the next morning 😅 Will Henry pretend he doesn't remember anything? Will he run away and ghost Alex? Will he confront his fears and talk it through? Who knows 🤷‍♀️ not me!

A tag per WIP

@affectionatelyrs, @cricketnationrise, @wordsofhoneydew, @songliili, @gay-flyboys

@anincompletelist, @gayrootvegetable, @everwitch-magiks, @hgejfmw-hgejhsf

[jaehyunsprincesspeach2]

“You Make Me Feel Free”

Pairing: Choi Yeonjun x gn!reader

Warnings: Angst, overthinking, anxiety, fluffy fluff, happy ending

Wc: 1.7k

AN: First writing for Yeonjun, the love of my life lol! This is actually based off of a dream that I recently had. I hope you enjoy it!

Much love ~ ember

Trapped. Always trapped. Not physically, but within your own head. Always overthinking, always reading into things more than you should, trapped within your mind. Until you met him. Choi Yeonjun. From the first encounter you had with him, you could just tell that there was something different about him. Something that you have never seen within another person. Little did you know at the time of your first meeting, he was about to change everything.

Flashback

It’s been a month since you moved to Seoul with your best friend, a dream that the two of you have had for years, finally came to life. Living in Seoul made you happy. Even though you are a foreigner, you are fluent in the language, and have picked up on social norms relatively quickly. If it weren’t for your appearance, nobody would know that you are from a different country.

One of your favorite places to go is a local coffee shop, about five minutes away from your apartment. Being that you work a remote job, you either work at home, or at this coffee shop. Walking in, you order your usual, pay for your drink, and go to your usual table, and start working. After about an hour of working, you felt that someone was staring at you. Looking up from your laptop, you see a group of guys had walked in, and one of them happened to be looking at you. After making eye contact, you see him bashfully look away. Thinking nothing of it, you return to your work.

The boys order their drinks, and are getting ready to leave, when the one staring at you gets a little distracted and trips over a chair. Conveniently, you happened to be sitting in the splash zone of his iced americano, as the coffee went down your back. Thankfully, none of it got on your laptop, however your back was now covered in coffee. You jumped from the sudden sense of ice hitting you, and turned to see a mortified expression written on his face.

“I’m so sorry! I just got distracted and tripped, and then my coffee wasn’t in my hands anymore, and….”

“It’s okay it’s okay!” You said, cutting off his rambling, “It’s just a shirt, really it's no big deal.” You stated, trying to get the flustered man to calm down, as the other four boys are at the door trying their hardest not to laugh.

“Let me buy you another coffee, or a new shirt, please, something, I feel terrible.” He said, as he tried to calm himself down, ears burning red, as you looked at him with an expression of kindness. “Let me take you out shopping to make up for this.”

He wants to take me shopping, just because of a little spill? I can’t do that, that would be too much… though his rambling is kinda cute… you thought to yourself.

After some contemplation, you agreed to a small shopping trip with him, simply because you were too shy to outwardly say that you wanted to see him again. The shopping trip that afternoon was one of the best days you have had since moving to Seoul. He kept his promise of only getting you one shirt, and even then you felt bad, but you did enjoy the time spent with him.

End of flashback

Choi Yeonjun. THE Choi Yeonjun of Tomorrow X Together. YOUR Choi Yeonjun. All you could think about in the three months of you two dating is “how? Why is he with me? He’s an idol, and I’m just… me.” This thought constantly running through your head. Trapped in your mind. Yet even with this thought, you also think about the dates you have been on with him, How happy he looks. How excited he gets to see you, no matter how exhausted he is. How he always looks at you with the most loving expressions. Why me. The thought unable to leave your mind.

Yeonjun knows that you overthink things a lot. As much as you try to hide it, he has been able to figure out your tells within the last three months. Whenever he sees that you are overthinking, he does everything in his power to comfort your mind, and put your thoughts at ease. But tonight is different. Tonight is worse than he has seen in the past. So tonight, he takes you on a spontaneous walk around the city. He knows that you will talk when you are ready, and he doesn't want to push you, but he wants you to know that he is there with you, and he knows that night walks tend to ease your mind.

Tonight is the quietest that Yeonjun has ever seen you. Of course you still greeted him with a hug, and a kiss, but he could tell immediately that you are not feeling alright. Walking through the city, you breathe in the fresh air, and look at all of the lights, a sight that always takes your breath away. The two of you have been walking for what seems like forever, when he finally sits you at a park bench.

“Baby, you have been quieter than normal tonight. What’s on your mind?” He asks in the most soothing, loving voice you have ever heard.

“I don't know Jun, there’s so much going through my head, I dont know where to start.” With this, he sits quiet for a moment, thinking of the right thing to say.

“Why don't we start with what you are thinking about the most?” He suggests, keeping his tone calm and collected, even though he is freaking out inside, trying his hardest not to overthink himself.

You didn't want to ask right away what was truly on your mind, so you brought up stress with work instead. Talking about how things are becoming a little overwhelming, and how other people are not getting their work done on time, which pushes your work behind too. Yeonjun sits there listening to every word you say, soaking in all of the information, determining if you need advice, or if you simply need to let your thoughts out. He concludes the latter, and the two of you begin walking again.

After another few minutes of walking, and thinking, you realize you are walking through an open field at a nearby park. Stopping in your tracks, you look up at the sky, noticing that even with the city lights illuminating, you can still see the stars.

“Why don't we lay here and look for shooting stars?” Yeonjun suggests, knowing that looking at the stars is one of your favorite pastimes.

Quietly nodding, you lay down on the soft grass, feeling Yeonjun lay next to you. You can tell that your quietness is making him nervous, and it makes you feel bad. You are in no way trying to hurt him, you are just nervous to ask him the thoughts that are rolling through your mind. Just ask, he isn’t going to judge you, he never has… but what if this is the one time that he does? What if he takes it the wrong way and doesnt want to be with you anymore…

“Y/n? Please, talk to me, I know there is more that you are thinking of other than work. Please let me help baby…” he says, starting to project his worry for you.

After a moment of silence, you finally decide to ask.

“Why me?” You blurt out, too scared to look in his direction.

“What? What do you mean?” He asks, his worried tone turning to a slight panic.

“Why me? Why are you with me of all people? You could have literally anyone in the world, and you settled for me… Why?” You ask, now looking at him, though you look away again when you see the shocked expression that has taken over his perfect features. Another moment of silence passes as you wait for his response, still trapped in your thoughts, that are increasing with every passing second.

Before you know it, his lips are on yours, and you are caught in the most passionate kiss you have ever felt. It felt like a movie scene kiss. Sparks flying and fireworks exploding in the distance. Pure love. After a few moments he pulls away, and looks at you, deep in your eyes, as if he is staring straight into your soul.

“Why am I with you? Because when I am with you, I know that I can be my true self. I know that I can goof around, and I wont be judged. When I’m with you, I feel like I can live a normal life. When I’m with you… I feel free.”

Free. That was it. That was the difference between him and the others. That was the feeling you had on the first shopping trip. The feeling that you felt when you were with him. Free. Completely and utterly free.

Unaware that you were now realizing that you felt the same, you were brought back to reality when you heard concern in his voice again.

“Y/n?” Concern now beginning to seep into his mind, as if he said the wrong thing.

Returning to reality, you pull him into another passionate kiss, letting your lips mold to his in perfect unison.

“That’s it. That’s what it is.” You whisper with a smile on your face. As happy as Yeonjun is to see you smiling for the first time tonight, he is confused, and you can see it all over his face.

“I couldn’t figure out why i think less when you’re around. But that’s it. Exactly what you said.” You say, starting to gain some of your normal happiness back.

“Which part?” He asks, trying to hide the smirk that is creeping onto his lips.

“You make me feel free.”

With that, he pulls you into the tightest hug. Arms wrapped around you, making you feel protected and safe. A wave of emotions washes over you after your sudden realization, and you begin to feel tears stinging your eyes, unable to hold them back. Laying there on the grass, in the middle of a park, being held by the one man who has been able to ease your thoughts, you felt free. For the first time. The thoughts that consumed your mind were at ease, and you felt free. Free of overthinking, free of the fear that nobody will accept you or your mind, free of the trapped feeling that consumed you until now. With Choi Yeonjun, you were free.

[the-last-rat-standing]

Tin Star (My thoughts on all 3 seasons)

There's a lot to unpack here now that I've watched it all, including how my feelings of it shifted as the seasons went on, particularly into season 3. So, pour yourself a drink. Spoilers, of course, to follow.

When I went to other sites to see discussions about this show, I came across so many posts that criticized the show for being unrealistic and over the top, and I think those viewers missed the point completely. Nearly everyone on this show is fucked up in some way; it's just a matter of where they fall on the Fucked Up scale. Jim/Jack, Angela and Anna are 3 very fucked up people and there can't possibly be a happy ending for them (can there?). I don't think this show is meant to be absorbed in a linear/tie up loose ends/believable way. You only have to see the amount of blood in the first few episodes to know you're going to be asked to suspend your disbelief for the entire ride. And if you can do that, it's one hell of a ride.

I'm not going to break down each season, because to be honest, there's a LOT going on and a lot more characters interacting than you might think. I will say, the oil company is a complete fake-out in terms of plot. Yes, Gagnon and North Stream Oil do play a part, but it is so removed from what you expect it to be. They start out as the Big Bad and that lasts for about 3 episodes until their PR spokesperson (Elizabeth) discovers -shock!- that the company is dirty. That really becomes the first domino that sets the rest of the action in motion for about half of the characters. (Angela, Elizabeth, Jacyln, then later in season 2, Johan and his family.) The other half get caught up in the people sent to Little Big Bear to kill Jim/Jack. Among those people is a  young man who has a past with Jack. That really is the gist of season 1 and 2, but jfc, it is crazy dark. And a LOT of black humour.

(GIF credits go to @timrothgifs, and let me just say, as I was perusing their blog for gifs, I saw so many that made me go, "Oh, I had blotted that scene out of my brain." Lol!)

I enjoyed seasons 1 and 2 once I got used to the Neo-Noir aspect of it and stopped looking for realism or consequence. S2 for me went a bit off the rails and not in a good way, primarily because it almost wasn't crazy enough? Like, you set me up after season 1, but season 2 was mostly Jack being a loose cannon with no real direction. Moments from season 1 didn't seem to matter in season 2 even though many of the plotlines remained. It felt convoluted and muddled and it wasn't until the big finale that things got sorted.

Season 3 leaves Canada behind and the Worth family (Jack/Angela/Anna) go to Liverpool to basically kill everyone who is a threat to them. No, really, they have a literal list. Season 3 is batshit bonkers in a way that I can only say, I bet the actors had a really good time filming it. So many moments felt like the writers had certain scenes in mind and they were going to put them in an episode even if they had to write around the scene to make it fit. And there was a sense that the actors were told to make it up as they went along, so they did and it was hilarious. Here again is the point where you have to accept none of this could ever, ever happen. The soap in the sock scene, where Jack gets bashed in the head, repeatedly, but is A-OK enough 10 minutes later to escape? Yeah no. And that's just one of many scenes that are so over the top that you can't possibly be expected to think this is remotely possible. So just sit back and enjoy it.  

Let me talk about the show in general rather than specific plot points and such. (Though I do wonder if Thomas is still running somewhere in his oversized bullet proof vest that Angela gave him.)

Something that often doesn't get pointed out by reviewers because they're not from Canada, I give the show all the credit in the world for being honest about our attitude towards the Native population in this country, and in particular, Native women. There are some painful truths spoken on this show, and when it's the Irish woman who points it out, it's even more reprehensible. Might be the only actual point of realism in the entire show, to be fair.

They had different directors for different episodes, but they were all very good at pacing and knowing when to pull the suspension like taffy and when to hit you right in the face. The opening scene in season 1 is so beautifully paced and the tension was so brilliantly drawn out that when the Moment happens, it's like someone popping a balloon. There are many scenes throughout the show that do this, all the while not undermining things by doing the fake scares/Big Scares that so many directors often do. The deaths of Whitey, Gagnon, Johan and Helen are longer scenes where you know exactly how they'll end, but the director is in no hurry to get there. Then there are scenes where you think will be drawn out that happen in the blink of an eye, and that's when you appreciate how they've quietly set you up for the shock. (Mary, Sarah, Jaclyn (!!), the priest, Jesse and his father, Lunt, just to name a handful.) Then you have the deaths we don't see but we know they happen- Frank, Rosa (!!) and Michael. Just some really good balancing to keep us involved.

As you can imagine by the amount of names listed, don't get attached to anyone. I mean it. You will have your heart fucking broken more than once if you do.

The acting is spot on, from the leads to the supporting cast. Everyone was perfect for the role they were given and even the smallest part had something important to do. The chemistry between Tim Roth and Genevieve O'Reilly was off the fucking charts, though, and their characters are so, so fucked up that they are perfect for each other. I never did warm to Anna, but that wasn't the fault of Abigail Lawrie; that was just my deep abiding annoyance of the character. 

I almost think you can watch season 3 on its own, because there is no carry over from seasons 1 or 2. Now, you'll miss the slow dawning of realization of how off the wall the characters and the plot is, and maybe you're the type of viewer who needs 5-7 episodes to get the feel of a show and what the showrunners are trying to accomplish. Season 3 only has 6 episodes, so you're not going to get that there. But if you can hop into something feet first with little lead-up and are ready for a large body count and black humour, then S3 will be right up your alley.

As for the ending -which I'm not going to spoil completely- I think we have to go back to the idea that we're not meant to view things through a 'real' lens. If we'd been given any indication that there was a semblance of realism up to the end of season 3, then sure, the end is fatalistic and that's that. But think about what they've been through up to that point. Would it be so far-fetched (for the show) for the ending to not be anything more than a, ahem, jumping off point for their new life?

I don't even know if I can recommend this show. Lol! It's so not at all what you're going to think it is going into it. I mean, here's the Google summary:

Deep in the heart of the Canadian Rockies, a recently emigrated police sheriff and his family try their best to survive in a charming mountain town rife with crime and corruption. Sheriff Jim Worth struggles with the ghosts of his past as he attends AA meetings, and his wife, Angela, tries to integrate in the town of Little Big Bear. At the same time, a massive oil company, North Stream Oil, opens a refinery just out of town, bringing with it a swath of migrant workers, rising crime levels, and pollution. When a friend of Jim's dies under mysterious circumstances written off as a suicide, he butts heads with representatives of the oil firm when he tries to uncover the truth of the matter.

Um… yeah but no? I mean, it would be like me summarizing 'Alien' as: "A group of space garbage collectors pick up something that could change their lives forever."

It is so barely scratching the surface of the show that I'm sure I wasn't the only one who got 4 episodes in and went, "What the fuck am I watching? I was led to believe—"  Well, don't believe it. But if you like Neo-Noir (almost) ultra-violent vengeance stories where you blindly wave away the protagonist's body count because sometimes he's actually likeable, sprinkled with a liberal dash of sex appeal and dark humour, then this is totally the show for you. Don't expect to learn much about Canada, though, (except how beautiful it is). Trust me, I'm Canadian.

Oh, and the person in charge of music has picked some perfect songs. I've made a short playlist of some of the songs, but if you want all of them, go here: https://www.tunefind.com/show/tin-star/season-1/52281

Here's a playlist of my favourites that I hope links properly:

If you give this show a shot, to let me know. I would LOVE to talk to you about it!

[criminal-sen]

Thanks to FD Signifier's 3hr video on Kendrick Lamar and Drake's diss tracks, I did some 'advance reading' (aka I listened to a bunch of Kendrick's music.. no i did not do the same for Drake lol) and found myself really liking a lot of his songs, as much as a white person who's conscious, perhaps overly so, of their whiteness can enjoy them (it was like. I played them all quiet on my car rides home from work and winced guiltily when he said the n word lmfao) and ofc there's a lot that I'm just not gonna understand on the same level as someone who's lived in that culture. But I tried haha. Um there's one song on his DAMN. album that makes me cry every time?? And weirdly it's LUST which is arguably one of the happier* songs, but it's in this wistful almost mournful kinda way that djdvdhshd it just gets to me

Anyway I'm rambling but all this to say I finally put on the video - and I'm pausing and listening to Kendrick's diss tracks as they appear - and nothing, NOTHING could have ever prepared me for Meet The Grahams. FD said it best - it wasn't a diss track, it was a public execution. And I'm sitting here the next morning still thinking about it, probably gonna be thinking about it for a long time tbh. I kinda wanna watch some of the breakdown videos FD recommended bc it is wild to me how u can so eloquently and precisely grind someone into dust like that. If u have even a passing interest in rap, I highly recommend the linked video - he has some others too on Kanye and some other artists - and if that doesn't appeal to you, check out his other videos. He has all kinds of leftist stuff that I can't possibly narrow down into a single sentence, highly recommended for anyone who wants to know more about the fucked up dynamics of racial inequality in the US from a black pov (okay I guess I narrowed it down huh.. that's really oversimplifying it tho tbh)

*yah so I listened to this song a bunch more since posting this. And um. I'm a fucking idiot:D calling that song happy is like. If someone gives you the thinnest most exhausted smile and tells you 'I'm fine', only to grab you by the shoulders, look DIRECTLY in your eyes, and say they are VERY much not fine, that the world's on fire actually??? And that NONE of this is even Remotely Fine!!!

You nod sympathetically, you maybe even say a few condolences. And as you're walking away, you think to yourself 'I'm glad that person is doing so well, they seemed really happy:)'

And then you write a fucking tumblr post about it