#and no. they aren't aware. they'll never know. and i think that adds to the beauty of it.

[ireallylikehickorysticksyay]

i love it when cats look like they where painted by a higher being to have the same markings a bunny would. it's like, thrice the cute. three for one cute. your cat is super cute. 30/10

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Watchers Anonymous

Warnings:��non/dubcon, stalking, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Peter Parker, skinny!Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Thor, Loki, Curtis Everett, Jake Jensen, Cole Turner, Captain Syverson, (so far)

This AU is called Watcher Anonymous and will include different series for each of the above. This is our introduction to the group.

Summary: men with illicit infatuations come together to share and plot their perfect fantasies.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

Introduction

"Do you really think we need snacks?" Jake asks as he unwraps the pan of rice crispy squares with sprinkles and chocolate drizzle. "I didn't think so but my aunt gave them to me," Peter shrugs. "I don't know."

"You're aunt?" Jake scoffs. He might be a loser but he's no mama's boy.

"Yeah, I mean, I usually go to bingo with her on Wednesdays but then this came up and... I had to make an excuse. I told her we were campaigning," he shrugs. "So she said, oh I'll make you boys some snacks..."

"Right," Jensen crosses his arms, reassured that he's not the lamest one in the pack. Not so far.

"When's that buddy of yours showing up?"

"Curtis? Oh, he said he wasn't sure," Jake shrugs. He hopes he has a friendly face there but he understands if it doesn't pan out. They all have places they'd rather be.

"Kinda nervous, not gonna lie," Peter confesses. It was his idea that they all meet up but now he's kind of regretting it. Strangers on the internet, on discord of all places, aren't necessarily the trustworthy type. He figures he's on there though and he's not that bad.

"Well, you seem chill," Jake offers. "So..."

"Thanks, I guess," Peter huffs.

There's a scuff at the door. A skinny blond stands in the doorway, looking down the hall behind him. He smooths his hair with his sweaty hands, slightly trembling. "Buck," he calls out in a voice deeper than one would guess by his appearance. "Down here." "Yeah, yeah," another replies behind the tramp of thick treads. "Looking for a john in this place. Shouldn't have had coffee."

"Oh, uh, Steve?" Peter greets uncertainly, "if I have that right?"

"That's me, yeah." He clears his throat and faces them. His nose is too big for his face, like a beak. The rest of him is tiny. He makes Peter feel big. Just like his special one... they'll get to that in a minute.

His friend catches up to him. Stood right behind him, he looks massive. Peter knows him too. Virtually at least. 

"And Bucky?" Peter adds. The other guy grunts and nods.

"This all?" Steve looks around at the mostly empty room.

"There's food?" Bucky wonders as he combs through his long hair. "Wasn't aware this was a catered event."

"Just snacks," Peter insists. He doesn't need any more hazing. Next time, he'll leave May's baking at home.

Steve wrings his hands before tucking them into his pockets. He chews his cheeks as Bucky heads for the snacks and greets Jake. There's more voices coming.

"Brother, don't be so grim," the large blond enters buoyantly, "it's about time you made some friends."

"I have friends," a slither returns dully.

"Ah, it is Peter!" Thor booms, not needing any introduction, though Peter wonders how he recognises him. "And let me guess, Jake with the glasses. Bucky has the shaggy hair like a dog, and Steve is slighter in frame."

"How..." Jake mutters.

"It is a gift of mine," he proclaims, "I'm Thor in case you couldn't guess. Oh and this," he pulls the other man forward and slings his arm over his lithe shoulders. "Is my brother, Loki."

Peter considers the uninvited sibling. Not as tall as his brother, or thick, and with sleek black hair and a long nose. They don't look related at all.

"I didn't know we were bringing plus ones," Bucky chews on a tart.

"Me either," Jake says.

"Oh, I do hope you don't mind. I wanted to invite him to the chat prior but... he is not often on the phone."

"It's fine," Peter assures, "I guess."

Bucky grumbles with less optimism and Jake sways. It's not exactly a gaming group or wholesome in any manner. Outsiders aren't safe.

"Relax, he has a special one," Thor girds. "Haven't you, brother?"

"I told you to mind your business," Loki retorts and gets only laughter in return.

"Jensen," a man enters without hesitation and marches to aforementioned man.

"Curt," Jake greets him with a nod, "you made it."

"Not thanks to... you!" He spots Thor and squares his shoulder. "You know, that truck is too big for your skillset."

"Ah, yes, it is only a ding, we will exchange info after," Thor rubs his neck with a guilty smile.

"Who are we missing?" Steve asks.

"Sy?" Jake suggests. "Don't think anyone else could make it."

"I'm here!" A sudden scramble through the door ends in a heap on the floor. The group of men turn to face the newcomer. "Urgh, ow." The man lays on his back after his slip. "I'm okay!"

He sits up and rubs the back of his head. Bucky tuts, "smooth."

"I'm--" the man pushes himself to his feet, "Cole. Ugh, I had to drive all the way here-- well, I know we all did, but, just not used to city roads."

"Cole," Peter is the first to approach, it's strange being the one doing most of the leading. Especially among this bunch. "Hey, nice to meet you. Peter."

He goes around the room and introduces everyone. Cole repeats each name anxiously. A sole squeaks through the door and a throat clears. A burly man with a baseball cap and scuffy bear wears a canvas jacket in grey camo.

"Sy," he intones as he enters. "Oh, are those brownies?"

"Right, that's everyone," Jake declares. "So, uh... what now?"

[yanmuffins]

Hello I've been obsessed with your p&f au especially the singing aspect! Can you imagine when the yans actually become aware of everything reader, damian and Jon have been up to they actually start to dive into everything. They see videos of them all over like the gitchee gitchee goo song, the traveling the world songs, the love handle reunion songs! I can see them being surprised about damian singing as well lol! Also I was looking at the mom it's your birthday song can you imagine damian singing a version like that to bruce in private only for reader to make a concert for it! Sorry I'm rambling I just love your concept! This is how you gonna know it's me!🪷 gonna send another ask as well!

damian gets in trouble for participating in some of reader's adventures without alerting anyone (he tried. like 98% of times), which he thinks is both unfair and nonsensical, because he now has to deal with his other siblings making fun of him for partaking in all those musical numbers, and that's punishment enough.

it only adds to nail down how much they missed of their life. there's plenty of non-dangerous things they did during summer, like being a one-hit wonder with a cheesy romance song (by the way, aren't they too young to be making cheesy romance songs?) and all other pefomances you did for fun. they could have been there for that! and each instance they spot damian in the backgroud or beside reader rubs salt on the wound. at least he was keeping an eye on them, but they'll be bitter about that for a while.

damian has really gotten out of his shell since p&f! reader came to the manor, though. him? singing a song publicly for bruce with reader? this is a moment that needs to be captured in 4k professional cameras. hopefully that footage gets magically corrupted too.

i love this idea! i don't think p&f! reader would immediately brag about their adventures because they're pretty much grounded, forbidden from getting up to their usual antics (without supervision, at least, which damian no longer counts as), but eventually they'd pull out those memory books to illustrate how they've always done what they do with no problem, which has bruce sitting there in utter silence, surprised they're still, somehow, alive.

and the thought of reader spending a week or two in gravity falls with dipper and mabel before coming to the wayne manor is so funny. they're never going back there again after bruce sees a picture of them next to a monstrous-looking cryptid, but they're free to share their past experiences. if it makes them feel better. tim is lowkey jealous of their little sibling for having such an interesting life, and maybe could be tempted to cover for p&f! reader, damian and jon as long as they agree he can go have fun with them. but that's a big maybe.

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝔼𝕝𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕣𝕚𝕔 𝕘𝕦𝕚𝕥𝕒𝕣 𝕡𝕣𝕠 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @wabatle request: ASK FOR OBEY ME REQUESTS AND I SHALL DELIVER!!!!

anywayssss can I req the brothers (but if all of the brothers are too much just Lucifer, Satan, and Asmo pls!) + Diavolo with an mc that's INSANELY GOOD at playing the electric guitar please?

Thank you pookie you're the best 🤭🥰😍💗

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ THANK YOUUU I choosed the option with less chars hope you don't mind -w-"

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff

✧ Lucifer plays on piano and you play on electric guitar... he listens to classic music, you most likely listen to something harder, you're literally opposites!

✧ the only thing you share is most likely that you're good with hands...

✧ your instruments don't match tho so unfortunely you have no way of playing together...

✧ as for different tastes... it never hurts to try, right? As long as you won't insult his taste, he won't insult yours. And who knows? Maybe the two of you will find some nice songs that you normally wouldn't even reach for?

✧ he's definitely a bit surprised when you tell him you do it professionally, but he's also interested second after...

✧ maybe he never considered playing on electric guitar but now he certainly thinks about at least trying... especially with you as his teacher

"You want me to try this badly? Maybe later... I'd like to see you on piano as well, are you aware, my dear? So do we got each other a deal~?"

✧ he's not really the best player... he may not want to admit it, but you can see his fingerprints aren't really used to strings

✧ as for you... if you won't success at playing piano either, he'll tease you just a little bit

✧ tho if you are... he'll be proud of you, but also his pride is slightly hurt that you had no problem playing on his instrument...

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@wabatle - come get your scary brother!

✧ Satan definitely has some electric guitar solos and songs on his playlists... I mean he's literally avatar of wrath! It just kinda goes along that he'd let it out in way of stronger music... plus it's opposite taste of Lucifer's which adds onto it...

✧ he doesn't play himself but he still knows a lot about it

✧ he asked you quite straightforward to just play something for him, expecting to catch something he may correct but... it was harder than he imagined...

"Well... Maybe you should learn more advanced chords- You were just warming up? Alright, I'm listening..."

✧ surprised that you're actually professional with electric guitar but after a day he's already used

✧ will say stuff like "my lover's better at playing electric guitar than you're at playing piano" to Lucifer just to piss him off

✧ if you actually win in the little competition he made against eldest brother tho... he's gonna have the time of his life by rubbing it into his face whenever he gets the chance

✧ other than that, he actually likes hearing you play! Especially if you're playing more aggressive songs, he finds it a bit calming!

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@miya-akane @wabatle - come get your cat lover!

✧ you can't tell me Asmo doesn't find it hot whenever you play electric guitar for him

✧ he'll shamelessly beg you to play a song for him, while he watches you or does his make up

✧ but you'll always get the best and loudest applause from him, followed by big hug and wave of kisses!

✧ he loves the most the finger play you do during complicated solos

"Well that's quite an experienced~ I dare say even better than mine! Hehe~ Oh c'mon, it was a compliment, darling!"

✧ he wanted to learn how to play guitar untill you told him he can't have long nails whole doing so

✧ now he sees playing on guitar as a curse... so! He does his best to plan aesthetic short nails design for you, so they'll fit your style and guitar design!

✧ whenever you come over, he'll make you sit down so he can do or fix your nails first and only later he'll let you play on guitar

✧ he gushes a lot to everyone he meets about you whenever the topic drops even slightly to music. He's just such a proud boyfriend!!

✧ you never have to worry about not knowing what to play or learn around him too... he goes to so many parties, he usually gives you few ideas, be it for songs that already exist or for your own songs

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@vodka-glrl @wabatle - come get your pretty princess~

✧ Diavolo is the type to appreciate any talent, especially if you're so dedicated towards it

✧ maybe Barbatos sent you annoyed glare when you payed such a hard songs in the middle of castle but... if it doesn't disturbs Diavolo, than what can he do?

✧ I feel like he'd actually enjoy how electric guitar sounds and may even get so into it he tries finding some songs dedicated for that instrument

✧ definitely asked you if you could teach him how to play electric guitar out of pure curiosity

✧ he's actually pretty good at it! He may not get it first time but he's definitely a fast learner

✧ if he was as dedicated as you, you two could probably play together, but he has slightly different interests too...

✧ tho he mostly still enjoys listening to you play! He won't even mind it if you play a song or two while he's doing his work

"Oh no, no need to leave! Your music helps me concertate. But if you're bored, I have few ideas what we can do during my quick break!"

✧ he'll definitely get you into few concerts if that's your dream and you bet he'll be there cheering for you!

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@wabatle - come get your childish ruler!

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

Love, love, love the last chapter of the shifter!Stan. 1000% of shenanigans and chaos. Truly awesome how any normal human reactions for things aren't even in suggestion category for Stan, they are just some faraway indiscreet wibes that he's seldom avare of.

Makes me think of the both Stan twins shifter universe. They would be such menaces having zero understanding of humans and encouraging each other's worst impulses. Basically that "logical, that's logical" scene from the comic but a thousand times worse. Every newfound skill becomes a one-upping (and hopefully discreet) competition, every insane idea gets quickly rationalised into research or something like that. Maurice's "something evil is out there trying to get you" is the only thing keeping them from going awol. Stans are being the most unhinged duo ever while Shermy is. just. kinda there? Having the weirdest childhood experience ever.

And at the same time poor Maurice is going through the experience that would've made them go gray if they were human. They so didn't sign up for this.

It would be so cool if you found a little space for this idea in your ever-growing list of shorts to make

Thank you! Shifter Stan is even worse at acting like a member of society than regular Stan, as he can quickly shift into someone else and avoid all the consequences of his actions. Never learns anything. Only ever vaguely aware that humans would actually get upset if someone kidnapped their kid.

Double shifter Stan and Ford is a nightmare universe for Maurice. Not only did they have unexpected twins, their twin spawn are feeding each other the worst ideas in an endless loop that makes them almost impossible to control. The only reason they never get suspected of being shapeshifters is their equally terrible loop of paranoia they feed each other and the fact that twin spawn with a single base in unheard of. Random vampire sees Ford by himself being weird with shermie and goes 'hmm, maybe?" but then Stan wanders up equally weird and its just 'no, just weird triplets, shifters are only ever twins' and they're safe. Meanwhile Shermie is desperately trying to either trying to fit in with them or desperately trying to escape their insanity because he was not cursed with the Pines chaos gene and is a very normal kid here. He loves his brothers but he just saw Stan eating dead bugs and Ford dissecting rats to 'learn their powers' and he just wants to kick balls around and play hooky on the beach. Everyone expects him to control them but he's sitting their crying with his brothers on leashes begging people to help him. When they finally disappear on their ship its a relief and a constant anxiety because at any point in his life he knows they'll show up again with potentially worse chaos following behind.

He spends every day of the rest of his life on egg shells, wondering when they'll pop up again. And they do, at his kids birth, bringing gifts and telling him how happy they are for him and congratulating him on things no one has told them, knowing things about him they shouldnt, and he has a melt down so bad they finally admit they were shapeshifters and the jolt of relief that whatever is up with them in not genetic makes him burst into tears. Then smack them across the heads for stalking him and being creeps and almost ruining his childhood.

Years later when his kid has their own triplets, Mabel, Mason and Maurice (which his brothers insisted on when they got a surprise two extra kids for reasons they wont explain), his heart rate sky rockets at their exchanged glances and elbow nudges.

I will add double shifter to the list, because now i feel so bad for Shermie i'm going to write it from his pov.

[bokunodumbassery]

I know I usually stick closer to canon on this blog, but I have some random trans BNHA considerations (interaction notes at the end):

- Transfem Shinsou. That kid is the Ultimate Egg. I see a lot of nb headcanons for Shinsou, which I think make sense, but honestly I read them as a trans woman.

- Transmasc Yaoyorozu. Again, I see a lot of transfem Yaoyorozu headcanons, but my gut tells me that they're someone who is Performing Perfect Girlhood very well, and possibly even takes pride in being elegant/knowledgeable/etc, but largely does it for the sake of being who they are supposed to be. Give them cargo pants, an energy drink, and a ticket to a rage room and they'll crack eventually. I know their hero costume SUCKS but honestly something about it reminds me of how trans tape works.

- Transfem Bakugo Masaru. They get about five seconds of screentime, if that, but in those five seconds they gave egg vibes so strong I can still sense them now. There could be a fun AU where both Katsuki and Masaru are transfem; it could play out very interestingly. You could also have interesting character work with the nickname 'Kacchan' ('chan' being typically feminine) and repression/Katsuki lashing out at any hint of their own femininity.

- I would LOVE a transmasc Mic since there are a few interesting masculinity-adjacent things going on with his character, but he's possibly too repressed to ever work out that he's trans, so you'd have to make it fit with canon Somehow. You could actually argue transfem Mic for the same reasons, but it's not my personal preference with him.

- Genderfluid (or transmasc) Toga. Something something wanting to "become" someone else who performs gender differently to you... that, or I could even see a genderfluid transfem Toga, with her schoolgirl fit being an attempt at reclamation of the girlhood she never got to have.

- Aizawa is either a cis man who is very firm and unwavering in his masculinity or pre-realisation but very much Not Cis. That, or he's a trans man who was actually held as a child.

- unpopular opinion, but I don't feel like Kirishima is trans? He COULD be, and I understand the logic behind a transmasculine Kirishima, but honestly I've seen cis boys overcorrect like that and I think he's just being pushed as The Trans Man because he fits the obvious stereotype, which is lazy and annoying and it pisses me off.

- Lady Nagant is NOT CIS. Idk what's going on there—I could see transmasc egg, I could see agender/nb, I could see transfem 'this-isn't-the-kind-of-woman-I-wanted-to-become'—but SOMETHING's going on.

I'm aware trans headcanons aren't everyone's cup of tea, and since it's a sensitive area of self-reflection and identity navigation we can all be a bit protective of our own trans headcanons and get uncomfortable when a headcanon contradicts/clashes with something that matters to us. In light of that, I'd just like to state for the record that this is all in the name of introspection and fun; if someone else has thoughts regarding these characters, wether or not they align with mine, feel free to add to the conversation! I also welcome questions. As always, if you don't like it, just don't engage.

[fourteendaysinaweek]

Peter Parker Meets The Batfam

As seen on wattpad here and inspired by this post

A little one-shot that might have a p2 coming (ignore any inaccuracies with the batfam I had too many people I wanted to add and may have gotten confused. Oops)

Peter

I land hard on a rooftop, staring up at the gray sky in front of me. A shiver runs down my spine as I sit up, looking around. I don't recognize the skyline, the buildings are wrong, the sky is too gray for New York, not with the August sunshine we had less than two minutes ago.

"Strange?" I call out, careful not to be too loud. I know he was trying to get that cube— where did he send me? "Karen, where am I?" I'm met with silence as my heart speeds up. "Karen?" I do everything to bring her up to no avail. Did Strange figure out a way to disable her? No, he doesn't want me dead or lost— he just wanted me to stop. He knows Karen controls aspects of my suit and everything, he wouldn't disable her on purpose, right?

Okay, Peter. Think.

You're in a strange city, your AI is down, you have no idea where you are. What do you do? Go to a gas station and ask where you are. Wait no— I'm in the suit. I don't have to go to a gas station, I can just walk up to someone, everyone knows who I am. They'll assume that a bad guy got me lost.

I swing down from the rooftop and land in the street. Weird, not a lot of people out and about.

"Now what the shit is this?"

"Oh thank God I'm still in America—" I sigh and turn towards the cop. "Officer!" I walk towards him. "Excuse me, sorry, I was just in Manhattan fighting— and I seem to be lost— where am I?"

"...Gotham City."

"Fantastic— what state am I in? Is New York close to that?" He raises his eyebrow, reaching for his radio.

"Dick, you're gonna wanna see this." I smile awkwardly even though he can't see my mouth. Karen isn't working, and therefore the controls of my suit aren't either. "You don't know where Gotham is?"

"Uh— sir, you're city is very beautiful, but I attended public school, my geography isn't great, and I'm a little preoccupied trying to get back to the fight—"

"You've never even heard of Gotham?"

"Again, sir, I'm very sorry—"

"Okay, whats going on?" A very tall very muscular officer walks over. He then looks at me. "What the hell?"

"I— I'm so—"

"He says he's never heard of Gotham." The taller one raises his eyebrow.

"Never?"

"Look— I'm so sorry, but I need to get back to Manhattan, I was in the middle of a fight—"

"Who are you?" I blink.

"Who— who am I?" Suddenly I remember why exactly I was fighting Strange. "Oh. Um, I'm sorry, I'll figure it out, didn't mean to bother you, so sorry—" crap crap crap why is my first instinct Oh yay cops will help? I should know better by now—

"Just hold it—" I swing away, illiciting very loud noises of surprise from the two cops.

I end up back on a roof, another roof, and am aware of the trail I am leaving behind. I should stop swinging, so they can't track me. I take a deep breath and reach out with my senses.

"—swinging from webs?? I mean that's kinda cool, to be honest—"

"Just bring him in, be careful. We don't know what he's capable of."

"Yea, Tim. Fan boy later. Catch now."

"I don't know, even with the mask he seemed genuinely confused, like he really had never heard of Gotham."

"Oh, yea, Dick. Every single person on earth has heard of Gotham, if not for our fantastically high crime rates or Batman, then they know Mr. Genius Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist Bruce Wayne—"

"Hey, no government names on the comms."

My blood runs cold. Who the hell is Bruce Wayne and why did they call him that— that's Tony. That's Tony. This... this is wrong, nobody else should be called that— not even as a joke.

I take a breath. Calm down, Peter. You've got this. You can do this.

Orange light washes over me and I look up, seeing Dr Strange looking down at me.

"Strange!" I attempt to swing back through the portal but my web fizzles and falls.

"Enjoy your new universe, Peter. I'll be back in a year to check on you."

"Dr— STRANGE!" I yell as the portal closes. My hair stands on end as I'm surrounded by seven masked forms.

"Who are you?" One in a blue mask asks. I recognize him as both one of the cops from earlier, and the one who was saying I seemed confused. He's also the one called Dick. Full name must be Richard.

"I could ask you the same, Dick." He clearly falters, and the others tense. I think back to his uniform.

"Name calling is going to get you nowhere."

"You think I'm joking, Grayson?" That gets him to freeze. "Should I go down the line?" Please don't call my bluff please don't call my bluff please for the love of whatever do not call my bluff—

"Nightwing, you know this... thing?"

"... you really don't know who I am?"  Strange said new universe. I don't know what I was expecting. "Spider-Man? I-I'm an Avenger? America's Favorite Avenger—"

"If this is some sort of weird power trip, like you think you're the greatest supervillain ever—"

"Villain?" I turn to the voice I recognize to be the one called Tim. "I'm not a villain!"

"Exactly what a villain would say." I look around, frantic.

"You have to believe me— I— the Avengers? Tony Stark? Nothing?" They all look to each other. I sink to my knees. "You don't have the Avengers. You don't have... anything." I hear static before a female voice begins speaking in their comms.

"I've got nothing on a Spider-Man, Tony Stark, or the Avengers."

"Of course you don't." They all stare at me as I sigh. "My name is Peter Parker. And I'm in the wrong universe."

"Okay, let's get that mask off and get you to a hospital—"

"Good luck getting my mask off, and I'm not going to a hospital. I need a computer. I have—"

"What do you mean, is your mask glued to your face?"

"No, Tim." He freezes. "It's nanotech. My AI controls it but because I'm in a different universe she doesn't work. I need a computer so I can fix her and then she can help me figure out interdimensional travel."

"How do you know our names?" The blonde girl asks.

"You should listen when your boss tells you not to use your government names on your comms."

"You hacked our comms?" I look at the one who looks like redskull but... less.

"No, I'm a superhuman. I heard you, literally."

"You... hacked our comms?" Dick says again.

"No, I— I didn't— I heard you— I have superhuman hearing?" I look around at them all. I sigh and listen closely. What can I hear... "I hear... something... or... no, someone running towards us? About... two hundred and fifty pounds? Something is flapping behind it— he's about a minute away based on his speed."

"How can you—"

"I told you, superhuman. Sort of. I—" I look at them, sizing them up. No, lifting one of them is probably going to get me attacked. I don't need that. They're not really setting off my gut, I don't feel bad about them. What can I do... I look around. "Ah!" I go over to a giant conveniently placed building air conditioning unit and lift it with one hand. "See? Superhuman. And three, two—" I point as a giant cloaked man appears. I was right, about two fifty. Mostly muscle.

"Meta." The smallest one mumbles. What the hell does that mean?

"Batman, he—"

"I heard." He narrows his eyes beneath his mask.

"Batman?" I say. "You really died on that hill?" Suddenly, my body feels heavy. Weak. "Crap—" I lean against the air conditioning unit.

"Are you alright, kid—"

"Don't call me that." I snap. "The only person who was allowed to call me that is dead— except no he isn't. He's in a different universe— god Mr. Stark, I wish you were here." I mumble that last part, it wasn't for anyone here. It was for him. "I'm fine, I'm just exhausted. I've been fighting an interdimensional sorcerer for like six hours and then I got dumped here, forgive me if I'm a bit tired." The man, Batman, nods.

"Alright, let's get you back to the cave. We can take a look and get that mask off so you can breathe better."

"My suit has a built in—" I stop. "No it doesn't, because Karen is down. Nevermind."

"Karen?"

"My AI. Do you have AI in this universe? Do you have computers—"

"Let's just... focus on you, okay?"

They all take me back to a giant tower.

"Bats, are we sure this is a good idea?" I hear Dick ask.

"He's a kid. He's scared and confused, not unlike how I met most of you. He thinks he's from a different universe, we—"

"I don't think I'm from a different universe, I am. And I'm not scared." They all stare at me again.

"When did you... gain the ability—"

"I was bit by a radioactive spider."

"Oh, metahuman." I furrow my brows.

"You call supers metahumans in this universe?"

"... you call them supers?" I nod.

"Well, sometimes. Other times they have a species."

"Like what?" I look at the blonde girl. I wish I knew all of their names.

"Well, my... kind of coworker Bruce got himself exposed to radiation and can shapeshift into a giant rage monster. I think he's got it under control now, but he accidentally exposed his cousin to it and now she can kinda do the same thing. Then there is Thor and Loki, they're just... gods, so, entirely different species there. Then there is Captain America, he is a super soldier, he was genetically modified to fight nazis. Bucky was also modified except he was modified by the soviets. And then we have uhhh Carol Danvers, she was modified by alien tech, and Natasha is just a trained assassin from... also the soviets? But yea, we're superheroes, so we're superhuman. What, are you guys metaheroes?"

"Vigilantes."

"Okay, moment of transparency, I know two of your names. I don't think it's a good idea for me to keep calling you by your government names while you're in the suit, so... what do I call you guys?"

"Nightwing."

"Redhood." Redskull looking guy.

"Red Robin." Tim.

"Spoiler." Blondie.

"Robin." Tiny one.

"Blackbat." The other girl, I can't see any of her skin or hair.

"Cat Girl." Short red hair and honestly comically large ears attached to her mask.

"And the girl on the comms?"

"... Signal." Dick, aka Nightwing, tells me. I look at Batman.

"And you're Batman. Great. I'm Spider-Man." My hair stands on end as two more figures approach from the sky. I tense before realizing that my new found... allies seem unfazed.

"Wonder Woman, Superman. This is Spider-Man. He says he's from a different universe and he can't get his suit off."

"You don't believe me, fine, I wouldn't believe it either. Is there a mind reader in this universe? Truth serum? Anything?" Everyone looks to Wonder Woman.

"I can use the Lasso of Truth."

"Perfect, hit me." She very carefully undoes the holster and a giant golden lasso unfolds. She takes my arms and ties it gently around them. It tingles.

"Who are you?"

"My name is Peter Benjamin Parker. I am a junior at Midtown School Of Science And Technology. I am Spider-Man, the vigilante hero turned Avenger after fighting Thanos in the Battle of Titan where I, along with half of the world's population, blipped. After coming back, I became a full-fledged Avenger." Everyone shares look.

"How did you get here?" She asks.

"A villain named Mysterio leaked my identity to the whole world and got me labeled as a terrorist. In my effort to fix things, I went to Doctor Strange, a sorcerer and fellow Avenger for help. He had a spell that could essentially turn back the clock and erase my identity from people's minds. I didn't want to go back to hiding things from my loved ones, so I asked for them to be excluded, but I accidentally broke the spell box and brought villains from other universes into my own. I discovered that the villains were misunderstood and hurting, and I am determined to save them from dying in their own universe. Doctor Strange did not like that and throw me here as a time-out. He said he'd back in a year." Wonder Woman nods.

"I see. Anybody else have questions?"

"How do you know our names?" I sigh.

"I told you. I have incredibly keen senses I could hear you all talking on your comms when you were chasing me."

"How did you come into your abilities?"

"Radioactive spider. Again. I already said this. Now can you please point me towards a computer?"

[merakiui]

HOLY!!!!!!!!! Can i have Floyd with "what's up with not calling me back?"??? if you're still doing the fwb dialogues!!!

(fwb dialogues)

For most of the week, Floyd's committed himself to following you around like a lost puppy. It was amusing the first day (and ominous to those who weren't aware of his involvement with you), but now it's Friday and you're beyond fed up. It was one thing to watch him seat himself beside you at lunch, thereby snatching Ace's usual spot, but it's another entirely to have him wait outside of Ramshackle to pick you up.

He's determined. You weren't expecting he'd last through the week. You're not particularly entertaining when you're so focused on your own priorities, but somehow that hasn't deterred him.

"Do you need something?" you ask, shutting and locking the door. Grim left before you, but now you almost wish he was here. The tension, though not as thick, is still troubling to navigate.

"Nah. Just wanna shadow ya today."

"You've done that all week."

"Shrimpy's been interesting all week."

You roll your eyes and stride ahead. He easily falls into step beside you, his hands stuffed in his pockets. It's quiet for all of two minutes before Floyd decides to break it.

"So what's up with not calling me back?"

"You'd know since you were following me all week." You peer up at him, arms folding sternly over your chest.

"That's just it. I don't."

"I was busy, Floyd."

"Busy," he parrots with a slight frown. "Mmkay."

"I need to study for a few upcoming exams."

"I getcha."

"So you can't distract me."

"I'd never."

"I'm serious. I need to get my grades up. I'm on the verge of falling behind."

"So I'll study with ya."

"Absolutely not."

Floyd pouts. "It ever occur to you that I wanna spend time with you outside of sex?"

"Not once."

"Well, I do."

"I highly doubt that." When he doesn't justify that with a retort, you add, "I haven't been ignoring you if that's what you think."

"I never said that."

"Okay... So why're you so hung up on me not calling you back?"

For a slim second, you think he looks conflicted. There's doubt in those normally bright two-toned eyes of his. But then it's gone, quick as a flash, and Floyd's back to wearing his sticky smile.

"'m not hung up. I was gonna ask ya somethin' real important."

"And you couldn't text it to me?"

"Nah. Calling's better." Floyd skips ahead towards the building. "You doin' anything for break?"

"Probably not."

He turns to look at you. "Cool."

You hurry to catch up, taking the stairs two at a time. "Why? Are you?"

"Yeah. I'm not gonna have my phone, so we won't be able to call."

"What? But... Oh, right. The sea." You wonder if you'll miss him during those two weeks. It'll definitely be quieter. "Have fun."

The both of you come to a halt in front of your classroom. He smiles at you. It looks sincere enough, almost hopeful.

"You could come with, y'know."

"To the sea?"

"Where else? Jade 'n I will show ya around. Take ya to our favorite spots."

"I'll think about it."

"Aren't you writing a paper on merfolk? You could study 'em up close if you came with. I'll even letcha check me out for your research."

You raise a curious brow. "Is that the 'real important' thing you wanted to ask me?"

"Maybe. I'll tell you if you come with. I'll get Azul to make you a potion. He'll do it."

"What's the catch?"

"No catch."

"Where would I stay?"

"My parents' place. They'll let you. Won't be a problem at all." He tilts his head at you. "Sooo, you comin' or not?"

"Um... I don't know. I'll think about it."

"Sure. Lemme know when you decide." Before he takes his leave, he adds, "I bet your paper'll be a real hit. Might even get you back to passing."

You scoff. "I can write it without your help."

"Of course you can. I never said you couldn't." And then he's slinking off to his classroom, his giggle still bouncing around inside your brain.

When you find your seat in class and dig your textbook out of your bag, a startling thought hits you: Wait. I'd stay with him at his parents' place?!

Just what are you getting yourself into? More importantly, why do you feel so inclined to agree?

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

Ari AU - Part Four

The next segment in my Popstar Grian AU that I have been cooking up with @angeart . Sorry for the wait on this one, life has been getting in the way a bit and writing this AU down is exhausting!

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Five

Feel free to send me asks about this AU! It makes me insane.

CONTENT WARNINGS for this part: suicide attempt, suicidal ideation, hospitals, serious medical conditions, discussion of seizures, discussion of psych wards, loss of personal autonomy

Hospital, Continued, OR: This is Likely Not An Accurate Representation of Seizure Related Disorders

Things calm down once Grian is stable again. It takes some work, lots of nurses and doctors hurrying around and running machines while Scar sits outside the room terrified. But eventually, she's deemed stable and Scar is given the go-ahead to re-enter the room.

The crew are finally allowed to sit in the room with her too, but it’s honestly kind of boring. Grian is unconscious, and there isn't much more to say. Talking about what happened - the suicide attempt, isn't something anyone really wants to do at the moment.

While they're waiting it turns to late morning. Impulse goes out and grabs some copies of the morning tabloids. They probably aren't the most pleasant thing in the world to read but the crew have to know what's being said about Grian.

Mumbo goes to get them all some breakfast from a vending machine (and comes back holding way too many packets of chocolate and crisps) while Pearl gets coffee and then stays with Scar, putting a hand on his shoulder as they sit together listening to the steady beeping of Grian’s heart monitor.

When Impulse gets back with the tabloids, it at least gives Scar a break from the silence. Everyone starts ranting about how insensitive the headlines are and how they’re going to have to do so much work to fix things when Grian is better and... Scar looks at them fondly, but doesn't really add to the conversation.

He's glad for the distraction. The hope they still carry that Grian will get better. Because Scar can't see that now. He really can't see it. She looks so fragile now, so drained of life, lying in the hospital bed.

It's another few hours before he wakes up.

As soon as they hear the muffled sounds of Grian trying to speak, Scar is right at her side. There had been mutterings between nurses about how worrying it’s getting, more nervous looks being shot her way with each passing hour, but Grian is waking up again. She’s incredibly hazy and out-of-it, but she’s awake.

And Scar is there this time. He's right at her side. Immediately ready to help her with anything she needs.

The oxygen mask is taken away and Grian tries to say Scar’s name, but it barely comes out as anything. Then he just sobs against Scar's chest, too tired to panic, too hurt to speak. Scar holds him as nurses very carefully flit around.

For a while, she’s kind of fading in and out of. When she’s awake and aware, she talks to Scar a little. Asks if she died. If she was kidnapped. Did she take too many pills? Why is everyone here? Is any of this real? Scar answers each question softly and gently with as much clarity as he can. Which isn’t much, because it’s still Scar.

As he gains more awareness, Grian keeps apologising to Scar. For attempting, but also for not succeeding. For burdening him. Scar never stops his reassurances, holding Grian as close as he can while whispering in her ear.

When a doctor comes in and talks about a psych eval, Grian panics. She's terrified, and guilty, knowing exactly what they're going to say. Of course she isn't mentally well. Everyone can see that. She attempted suicide, for goodness' sake.

More pressingly, she thinks she's going to be taken away. That they won't let her go home with Scar. They'll put her in some facility where she'll never get better. The horror stories she's heard from others who have been in the system like that shake her to her core, and that's what really frightens her. That's what makes her want to escape it all.

Attempt Two - Hospital

When the nurses leave, Grian asks Scar to loosen her wrist straps because she’s uncomfortable. The nurses said that they’re for Grian’s safety, but… what harm could it do? Scar doesn’t want Grian to be uncomfortable. The crew have gone home to sleep, while Scar chooses to stay overnight. 

But though Scar falls asleep on the chair next to her bed, Grian stays awake, mind full of loud and terrifying thoughts. She is so afraid, and guilty about what she's putting Scar through, and, honestly, feels like finishing what she started is the best way out. Even if it is scary, it’s less scary than the psych eval. Less scary than the thought of being taken away from Scar and analysed by doctors. Less scary than the thought of it all being leaked to the press.

With the wrist straps loosened, it’s easy for Grian to escape her room and slip out into a hallway. She finds medical scissors in the bathroom. Which is scarier than the pills. More physical and real. 

There is barely an attempt before she’s found by a nurse. She must have made a lot of noise getting out of bed and into the hallway. Even with scissors, there isn't even a scratch deep enough to bleed. Still, she’s told off and sent back to bed.

Scar is given a very stern talking-to by an angry nurse for letting Grian get free and wander off. He’s horrified that he let it happen, the looming ‘what if?’ playing in his head the whole time.

There are consequences. For some time - whatever the doctors decide - he isn’t allowed to see Grian. Which is torture, really. To distract himself, he takes a few much-needed trips between the hospital and home.

The psych eval goes badly the next day. The doctors confirm Grian's fears, wanting to send him to a facility of some kind. She begs not to be sent away, that it would kill her, even if not literally. She wouldn’t last long in a place away from Scar, especially not being observed and evaluated. Hearing her distress, Scar insists that Grian should be allowed to come home. 

It really hits Grian that it isn’t her choice. It’s Scar’s, as his partner and the closest thing she has to a legal spokesperson (aside from, what, her manager?). Ever since she cut her family off.

Grian has no control over his own autonomy. He supposes he forfeited the right to speak for himself after two suicide attempts, but still, it’s horrible. Or, a horrible thought. Grian is somewhat confident that, because of her status and wealth, she could reasonably convince them to listen to her and her alone, if she needed that to happen. Luckily, Scar’s on her side regardless.

He promises to read all the booklets the hospital gives him - especially the ones about what to do if Grian has another seizure - and to lock away all the sharp objects, pills, shoelaces, wires, and glass in the house. Which he does during the time they don't let him see Grian (the biggest chunk of time is when Grian’s therapist visits. That's something they're going to have to keep doing, of course).

But, before anyone can go anywhere, first priority is a brain scan. Because something happened to Grian when she first woke up, and they don’t know what yet. Which is also terrifying! Grian is getting tired of being terrified!

It’s remarkably fast, as procedures go. The doctor and nurses take Scar aside and start talking to him, which Grian sees and really really hates because hello? He's right here? If there's something wrong with him, he wants to know!

Afterwards, the doctor does come up to her and explain that he's been diagnosed with something-or-other (she isn’t really listening, which sort of defeats her previous point) and needs to stay away from flashing lights and high stress scenarios.

Flashing lights. High stress scenarios. Grian almost laughs, that's actually hilarious.

There is also medication. Scar’s been given pills for her to take daily, to prevent seizures.

Oh. Scar’s been given the pills so that Grian can't take them on his own. So she can’t overdose again. He feels like he's being treated like a child. He understands why - he deserves it - but it still hurts. 

Then, that’s it. Grian makes enough of a recovery to be discharged, and it’s time to go home. Prescribed with new pills, more therapy, and a lot of things to read. It feels anticlimactic. Impulse calls and says he’ll bring over a car, so… it’s another waiting game. 

While Scar and Grian sit in awkward silence, Scar runs over the guilt in his mind. The fact that Grian got out of his room and was going to attempt again. Grian being dragged back into the room, arms scratched up, crying as she’s restrained again. Scar pushed out of the room and listening to her cries, being told it’s his fault she escaped… it all hurts.

But it was a mistake. It is in the past. Scar quietly places his hand over Grian's, extending the olive branch to her while trying his best not to cry. It doesn't matter. He has to be there for her now. 

Leaving The Hospital

Impulse arrives with a baseball cap (which is too big) and sunglasses for Grian, to both hide her identity and keep the camera lights away. There are a lot of people outside still, with cameras and microphones. Cameras with flashing lights. Microphones that cause Grian so much stress. 

How lucky.

Heading out first, Impulse distracts the crowds. Then, Scar tells Grian to close her eyes entirely and just let him guide her to the car. Pay no attention to the reporters. It's okay. They don't matter.

Grian’s used to it. He doesn't even complain. He knows he's just a thing to them. An object to gawk at and capitalise off of. Maybe she'll write a suicide note and blame them in it. That'd be a good comeback, wouldn't it?

It’s not a comforting thought, though. She loops an arm around Scar’s shoulder and allows herself to be moved like a ragdoll, stepping cautiously out of the hospital doors with her eyes shut tight and head bowed to the floor.

The light of cameras flash behind her shielded eyes, but nothing happens. It’s overwhelmingly loud, after so many quiet days in the hospital, but she pushes through. As she always does. Within a few moments Scar gets her into a car, and they’re off with no incident.

No seizure. It's strange getting used to the thought. Seizures were something that happened to other people, not to Grian. But now they do. Now there's something else to watch out for.

During the ride, Grian stays quiet. He’s scared to find out what’s waiting at home. Whether their house will be swarmed with people, or if it will be safe. Terrible thoughts crawl into her head like parasites, eating away all hint of positivity and relief from being out of the hospital. Scar seems upset with her. It's uncomfortable.

And then, without warning, they’re home. Like time has slipped past her. The car engine stops running. Grian remembers to breathe.

There’s no one there. At least, no one visible. Once they get inside and close the front door, Grian stands in the hallway, unsure of what to do with himself. He asks Scar, half-dissociated, if she’s still a person. Scar responds: of course, Grian is his favourite person.

Grian thinks she’s a lot of people’s favourite person, and that’s basically the problem. Something bristles up her spine as she thinks about the bar, and that person, the one who drugged her. 

She's so terribly afraid of everything. Of herself. Of the press. Of the stalkers. She doesn't know how to explain that she still has nightmares about being drugged. And that the night he took those pills was both the calmest and most terrified he's felt in months. Because everything was going to go away. But everything was going to go away.

He tells Scar that he doesn't want to kill himself, but also yes, he does. She doesn't want to die but at the same time, how else will everything just stop? There's no other way out. He can't see it getting better. 

Scar doesn't have an answer either. But he asks Grian, quietly, if he could just... try to stay alive. Even if it's hard. Even if it hurts. Try to stay alive, because he doesn't know what he'll do without Grian. Without Grian being there. Experiencing the world with him. 

He can't - doesn't want to - imagine Grian never smiling again, never singing again, never getting another haircut or eating his favourite food or telling Scar she loves him, ever again. Never listening to Scar's Disney rambles or planning to pull little pranks on their friends. Never crying. Never coming up with song lyrics, or designing outfits. Never holding Scar again.

It's haunting, how Grian seems so far removed now from when Scar met her. Only a hint of her past self shining through, begging to be found and held onto. She's changed. They both have. But losing her altogether?

Scar can't think about that. It's maybe all Grian can think about. And they both feel very, very helpless.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Hi I have a question. How do I start writing?

Basically I've never written anything except a dnd backstory which at best offended all my forefathers cause of how bad it was. I had this idea for a character that I would like to try and create a story about but I'm struggling to even start.

Part of the problem is my add who I have to switch from distracted to hyperfocus™. I'm also scared everyone will hate it even though it would be my first writing thing ever.

Sorry to drop this on you and feel free to ignore it!

They probably will hate it, although they won't tell you to your face. It's going to be awful. Same as the first thing you ever drew was awful. Same as the first time you try to play guitar would sound awful. Here's my advice: stop asking for advice for a bit and start writing.

Don't get me wrong, you will need advice. Writing is a craft, and there are rules, and while the best works usually break those rules it is because they know what the rules are and why they exist and why their particular work needs to break them. You are going to need SO MUCH advice to write anything good.

But not yet.

The biggest mistake new writers make is paralyse themselves. They don't write because it's going to be bad, because they don't know what they're doing; they procrastinate by reading books about writing advice (which will be valuable to you later!) or by waiting for inspiration or by telling themselves they'll start writing when they're good at it, which is a trap, because you will only develop that awareness by writing.

Get an AO3 account, if you don't have one. Or an account with your fanfic site of choice (I recommend AO3 because the culture there is extremely positive and encouraging to new writers, 'say something nice or not at all' is the norm there). Write a fun coffee shop AU or something about your blorbos, whatever you want, whatever's fun. Write a handful of these for fun and no other reason. After a few, you'll start to see why some of the other similar stories are better than yours. You'll notice that they're doing things in a way you aren't.

Then it'll be time to ask what they're doing, and why. And you can start thinking about improving your craft.

But the first step is to start crafting at all.

[swiiivet-screamathon]

tbh i completely forgot this girlie existed so i just made up pretty much the exact design of somethin that was already canon lol

anyways i just wanted to tell my thoughtprocess for Elder Nightshade cause i dont feel like writin dialogue rn lol

i wanted it to be a new disguise, so no woman child or old man, because he would know that he had previously shown pv all of his disguises in the past in the spire and smilk aint a moron, but it turns out i the writer am a moron so uh, dont project that onto him that was my bad lol just pretend i made somethin majorly different instead of like, a couple details here and there different

because he is a frail boi and especially more frail than usual cause of his stripped powerset i wanted his disguise to excuse extreme weakness, so someone old relyin on a cane would do

i picked woman specifically both to balance out the gender-presenting gap that i did not remember had already been solved but also because 'they are lookin for a masc presentin guy lets be woman they'll never suspect it' is totally bulletproof logic when you aren't the most mentally stable person in the room rn lol

I didn't want to just name the disguise some variant of Blueberry cause I wanted somethin slightly more unique lol, though googlin "what flower represents lies" and picking the first one isnt exactly rocket science lmao-- also if anyone wants to be pissy about edibility I will remind the class of the cookie made of mercury, squish ink and cotton with an honorable mention of a cursory google search sayin you shouldnt eat snapdragons

I added the 'Elder' part specifically both for the readers awareness, since I don't do most of these with pictures or with very detailed descriptions it can be difficult to tell what I'm envisioning these scenarios as in specific detail, but also to add some prestige-- one would assume people would be less likely to be combative & aggressive w others they respect and/or see as superiors, and in the world of crk specifically bein an 'Elder' tends to have more weight to it than at least I would imagine a real life person havin the name for

the most obvious difference between canon and the design details i thought of was that i embedded a gem into the cane to make it less strange when this old woman would use any kind of magic, but also imagined them putting all of their bodyweight into it (needing it to also be taller than the canon version), cause of aforementioned frail-ness. Both eyes were also wide open, he is not keepin his lies secretive whatsoever, his act is bad he is not performing well these nights. No glasses/monacle to hide/distort the eyes either. No braid either, if one hasnt noticed I'm doin stuffs with braids lol, twas just a short lil bob, given his hair is very long normally givin himself short hair is totally foolproof disguise work once again. A full body but tighter dress than canon as the silhouette should be as small as possible, easier to hide away if you're not a giant blue balloon lol. I didn't think of any accessories of any kind tho, they kinda just slipped past the mind.

Though with writing up these lil tidbits I've now realized that every single disguise we've seen from smilk are all generally weaker archetypes, even the tinier portraits who don't get nearly as much details seems like spindly teens + pv's distorted memories, one of a baby sheep & a starving woman, bare minimum not a group of people you'd expect to be able to do extraordinary amounts of strength based tasks, which I think is neat

[larsthefishoil]

For the well of knowledge known as "Something something write what you know but you cant know everything so ask someone with experience" - if there's a specific tag for this someone please tell me so I can add it BUT!

are you ever writing a fic with a bartender? And you don't really know how that works? well I work as a barback at a bar so here's some advice!

1- bartenders/barbacks are rarely snarky over drinks or orders. We'll only make fun of you if you're being an ass (and that also depends on the character of the bartender/barback), but if someone orders another round? Great, they're more drunk now so they'll probably tip better. Bartenders and barbacks are pretty much always going to act like either a stoic, focused worker or your best friend; our proficiency of work and ability to make people happy directly affects our take home pay so specifically not being an asshole is important.

2- carding: at my place honestly, we don't card much cause it's more the vibes someone gives and what they're ordering that gives off their age. (like if you look like you're in some vague 20s that one can't put their finger on, but you order a screwdriver, the bartender will absolutely raise their brow at you in suspicion and ask for id.(cause screwdrivers taste foul and only inexperienced drinkers ask for it)) But carding is really important! Realistically, it's just not feasible to handle fixing up five drinks while chatting with a customer and also making sure you ID the guy who looks like he's in his late 20s. There's kind of a split between bars with "won't card" reputations and normal bars full of adults getting off of work to chill. If, by chance, your character is under 21 and is looking for a bar to sneak into without getting carded, it's painfully easy to ask around and people who frequently check out bars will tell you to your face straight up. mostly because these adults are trying to avoid these bars; they are filled with horny, poor, stressed out college students new to drinking, bars without the "won't card" reputation aren't swarmed with kids. (btw always have your id on you its just safer in general)

3- If you've never worked at a place with a liquor license, then just a heads up that we're liable for any death/harm that comes to drunk customers/ people they may hurt under the influence. so if we serve someone too much and they go and get in their car and run someone over, then the worker that physically handed the drinks to the customer could go to jail. that being said, most inebriated people are accompanied by someone who will obviously drive them home, and I've seen some of the guys I work with bring drunks out of the bar to the street and order an uber for them.

4- size, age, sex, and sometimes ethnicity can contribute to how fast someone gets drunk to their ratio of drinks. I one time watched a guy drink 6 margaritas in a row, stand up, and walk out of the bar like he was sober. He absolutely wasn't, but these things are just hard to ping sometimes. Folks from East Asia, for example, have a genetic disposition to not be able to handle hard liquor as much as say, a Russian. Countries like Korea and Japan still have massive drinking problems, but that's a whole other thing. So there's genetics, tolerance, other smaller factors, but the main factor to drinking to drunk ratio is the size of the drinker but I think everyone's aware of that.

TERMS!

that little cap that we shove in the bottles that's metal and silver - quick pour.

small measuring tools with a small 1oz cup connected to a 2oz cup that you can flip over. Used for exact measures when making drinks - jiggers

metal cups we use to shake the drinks - tin

Stick we use to smash mint/fruit rinds to bring out the oils plus other stuff- muddler

(if someone thinks of something else and describes it I can probably name it)

Feel free to ask questions and I'll answer to the best of my ability! <3

[through-fire-and-flame]

bayou-blooded, vol. 3 (drabble)

I see Laurentius scamper backwards away from me and back up and onto his feet, raising both his hands.

"Come on, big guy, over here," he shouts. "Let's you and me tussle proper, yeah?"

The thing turns toward him, and I realize he must have been at this for a while - nigh every inch of its skin is seared, covered in livid red and black burns. It doesn't seem to have slowed down any, which means it might be fireproof. The realization causes my stomach to leap into my throat - if that thing is fireproof, we're both fucked. Neither of us are going home.

Laurentius has that damn lighter in his hand again, thumb flicking madly at the wheel - and I watch an orb the size of my head bloom out of it, guided by the sweep of his opposite hand. He looks like he's pulling fire out of that thing, like it'll never end, like he's ready to ignite the whole damn world. I can see it in his face - nothing gentle in that grin, battle-crazy as he is - he'd like nothing more than to burn it all down. I half-think he's going to immolate the whole grove, me with it.

But he doesn't. Instead, he waits for the creature to commit to another swing and then jerks his whole body forward, throwing his hands out and blowing air like he's trying to inflate something. The orb spills out and over its boundaries into a bright lance, catching the creature right in its charging mouth. The ghoulish thing blooms from the inside, its belly distended by the force of the blast in its gut; it tries to scream and all that bubbles out of its ruined mouth is a belch of thick, foul smoke.

I watch it go to its knees, twist to one side, and then collapse completely, and go still. Laurentius stumbles backward against a tree and I rush to him.

"I ain't never seen a Fire that big, Laur," I say, checking him for injuries. I hadn't realized it before, but he's cut up pretty bad; it wasn't a one-sided fight at all. He was slashed up like that and still thought to tackle me first? The fuck is wrong with this molecule, I think to myself, the thought skittering over the surface of my adrenaline addled brain. We don't even know each other that well - he lets me call him Laur, and that's close enough to friendship, like I said, but I wasn't aware we were on lifesaving terms.

Maybe we aren't. Maybe the dumb bastard would do that for anybody. Maybe he'd do it for a stranger. Probably would do it for a stranger, swampling or not, Witch-blessed or not.

"Fuckin' idiot," I mutter, tugging open that stupid hoodie he insists on wearing. It's a good thing the Fire lets us mess with our temperature or he'd have died of heatstroke a long time ago. He offers a feeble protest and it's not long until I see why: even past his immediate wounds - and there's a lot of 'em - he has more scars on his body than I've ever seen on anyone.

I stop, and meet his tired eyes, and I study his face, looking as though that might offer me an answer as to how the fuck he's still walking.

"Come on," he breathes. "We...we gotta get back. We handled it."

"You know what I have to do, and you know it's gonna hurt," I tell him, and he nods.

"I'll try to keep it down, promise," he tells me, and then keeps to his word, gritting his teeth as I use the Fire to seal him up. They'll tend to him proper back at the village, I tell myself - maybe it won't add too much to that lattice on his chest.

"So...what the fuck was that thing?" I ask him, as he catches his breath. "And when did you get so good with the Fire?"

"Don't know - looked human, once, so I guess it might, uh, might have been one of ours, honestly," he says. "Might have explained why it was fireproof too."

"What do you mean, one of ours? And it wasn't fireproof - you killed it with the Fire."

"I mean there's not a lot of people out here, and unless the swamp things have gotten some strange ideas in their heads, my guess is that thing was human once, and got all...distorted," Laurentius breathes. "And it didn't think shit about fire. So - one of ours. Got up out of the mud. You know there's weird shit out here."

He chuckles painfully, and looks up at me. "But ain't nothing fireproof on the inside, mind," he adds.

I try not to think about it. That's what we all do, when someone disappears into the mud. We try not to think about it. It was because I couldn't see myself not thinking about Laur that I came out here in the first place.

"Alright," he manages, straightening up. "Time to get out of here. As far as anyone knows, you took a walk, and you saw me on the way back into camp, got it?"

"Yeah, yeah," I say. "I know how to keep it sideways, asshole. Let's go."

Back at the village, they don't ask a lot of questions. I think they're glad to see him too, really - he has an attitude, but like I said, he jitters right along with the rest of us, push comes to shove.

Once they let him out of the Witch's hut, I wait for him on his porch, just to make sure he's okay.

"You alright?"

"Quit fussing over me, dammit," he grumbles, even as I step in and help up him the steps. "I just need to rest."

"Can't help it," I tell him.

"You're a terror, Rosabeth."

"I know, Laur."

"Listen to me next time, alright?"

"Sure, Laur."

"...in one ear and right out the other, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is, Laur." I grin at him, and he looks a little surprised. I don't think he gets people smiling at him often, but he grins back, right enough.

"Right, well," he says. "You, uh, you have a good night. Thanks for checking on me."

"Sure," I say, and I wait until I hear that heavy click again before I leave.

Good thing he made it back, I tell myself. Good thing for me, good thing for everyone. We're chaos, and he's part of it, proper.

[plutonium-sky]

Sky lore/headcannons dump part two boogaloo. This one is about spirits, and maybe a little about skids and winged light

part one in link below

So I like to put spirits into a hierarchy: Elder spirits, Season guides, and Regular/Seasonal spirits. So. What are they?

Spirits are beings of pure light, just like winged lights are. I'm not talking about those btw because idk what they are in my head... yet. But! that's not exactly it. Here, spirits are more like the... vessels, of light. In order to function, and be aware, they gotta be supplied with light. Otherwise! They will enter a dormant state.

And, of course, not everyone gets the same amount of light- Elders get it directly from skids (cutsceeeeenes~), Season guides get it from you finishing their quests (yay), and Regular spirits.... get it from season guides or Eden itself (last one is only when they come as ts or something). This would explain why we see some spirits out and about, while others aren't (e.g. performance spirits compared to... I don't know, Abyss)

Also this would mean that Hopeful Steward takes care of it for the regular spirits in aviary lmao

Anyways! Regular spirits CAN be woken up by skids. just give them a little light like skids do to elders (unfortunately this isn't part of the game), and then they're out and about until the light you gave them fades out- takes about an hour or so, depending on how active they will be. and here's where we go into the headcannons zone, returning to winged light even though I can't explain those.

If regular spirits want to be out and about for MORE than an hour, they would have to take a winged light- filling up their "vessel" in a self-filling loop. OFC, after having taken one, they can fly but beware- never let them use the last star on their cape. they'll just dissipate and you'll have to wake them up again :T

also, if you want to make things more interesting, make it so that it would be inadvisable to wake them up for the first time by yourself- wait for them to have come as a ts at least once. that way, you don't have to deal with them violently reliving their death by Eden shattering for the first time.

also, I like to think that season guides have at least some control over their seasonal area (if they have one), while elders are stuck in their statues (rip), can oversee the entirety of their realms, and have limited control over them. Also! they can meet each other in an in-between if needed (aka vault elder scene)

anyways onto skids. They're literally just fallen stars given form. We all knew that. And if they give up their light, they become ancestors/elders depending on how much they gave up (check part one). they're here to make sure that the balance of the realms won't tip over to darkness.... and here to also clean the mess that SOMEONE made (looking at you, Resh. naughty little skid you are, exploding eden)

aaaaand that's it for now. if I think of something I'll add more parts. otherwise! only headcannons from me from this point on.

[flamedraco]

Day 3 of Writing a Minecraft Diaries AU

I made an attempt to use lore forge to help me keep track of things but my brain recoiled so hard at information overload that I decided I'm going to stick to my tried and true method of just writing shit down in a notebook and hoping for the best. It'll help visualize family trees better if I can actually draw diagrams.

Finally finished the outline for the plot of season one, now it's just a matter of figuring out relevant information and outlining chapters, then starting to write them. Also most of the characters have been decided and their stand ins accounted for. So I'll include the cast list down below tho do be aware this could change later once I actually get around to the chapters. Again, if you don't recognize the names listed it's probably either a really obscure member of the DSMP lore, an OC, or a name I came up with for an obscure member of the lore.

If I'm going to do this I'll probably break up the seasons into their own books unless I manage to reduce season 1 down into fewer chapters. But I don't think that's going to happen since I'm already working on the outline for the seventh chapter and we haven't even gotten to the part where the werewolves are supposed to be involved. And I cut the werewolves out for fucks sake.

I'm still debating on if I even want to continue into season 2 or not. Diaries lore is massive and has a lot of moving parts, things set up in season 1 specifically for season 2 and things that I might need to remove or add. I have the plot summary but depending on what I decide to do regarding season 2 and the potential of another book...I guess that really depends on how the chapters are received and if my brain decides to stay DSMP hyperfocused for another year or so. Because if I'm trying to convert the ENTIRETY of Diaries into an AU that's probably going to be three multichapter books just on it's own and I'd probably rewrite the entirety of Season 3 since it was never finished and only had 37 episodes. This kind of project could take me an entire year, probably longer.

I do know that I want to try and do this first book tho. That's the only reason why I rewrote major plot points, have an overview, am creating chapter outlines, and have the series pulled up on my phone, two tabs of the wiki, and my doc open as I take notes with my notebook close by for if I need a new name for an OC.

There's a lot going into this planning right now. Converting Diaries into an AU is proving difficult. Especially with how certain characters change the plot and characters I'm having to cut out (if you see a certain handful of characters not mentioned I probably cut them out due to story changes). I've already had to rewrite a lot of things regarding the finale due to how I've changed the plot and the characters that are involved. Because keep in mind, just because these characters take on the role of another does not make them the same character. Wilbur is going to act as a completely different protagonist from Aphmau. Quackity is not the same type of person that Garroth is. Also if you don't see your favorite DSMP character mentioned, don't worry. There are places for them to show up if I continue into the next season with another book. And if they aren't here it's probably due to them not fitting into the roles that I needed. My choices aren't meant to offend anyone, they were made for the sake of the story and who I feel fits better where.

Take the cast list with a pinch of salt because this could always change later as I work on the chapters. And the lists themselves are taken directly from the Season 1 Character List from the Minecraft Diaries Wiki. If someone important isn't mentioned here than they'll probably still show up in the fic it's just for some reason they're missing from the Wiki. Unless I cut them. Because I did cut some characters. There's also the chance that the character mentioned in the list was NOT mentioned in the overview on the Wiki so they're a minor enough character for me to not have included them here due to not having a stand in yet. Some characters might also just be listed as unnamed because I feel like I might not mention their name.

Again: List is subject to change in the future.

ALSO: Relationships between characters may be changed due to the characters now standing in their place, for example: Kenmur and Emmalyn are a ship in Diaries, but I am not shipping Phil and Techno together in any form other than PLATONIC.

WARNING: Some characters in the cast list placement below may contain spoilers for both MC Diaries and, as such, the fic I am going to write, specifically in regards to the Shadow Knights section. Proceed at your own risk!

Cast List: MC Diaries Character Name - DSMP/OC Name

Phoenix Drop Aphmau - Wilbur Garroth - Quackity Laurence - Sapnap Nicole - Karl Emmalyn - Techno Lucinda - Hannah Brendan - Foolish Zoey - Nox Cadenza - Ena Kawaii~chan - Tina Donna - Tiffany Brian - Darius Kyle - Tristan Logan - Elderic Dale - Frankie Emma - Rosella Molly - Lydia Levin - Miriam Alexis - Alanna Zenix - Purpled Dante - Puffy

Scaleswind The Lord of Scaleswind - Unnamed Matilda - Lethia

O'khasis Zane - Dream Katelyn - Niki Jeffory - Ciaran Garte - Unamed

Bright Port Lord Burt - Lord Dawn Azura - Aliara Visher - Caradoc Paul - Johnson

Meteli Hayden - BadBoyHalo Kenmur - Phil

Wyverns Ungrth - Sgaeyl Raven - Crow

Shadow Knights Zenix - Purpled Gene - Schlatt Sasha - Samantha Vylad - Tommy Laurence - Sapnap

Other The Stranger/Aaron - Sally

If I missed someone there might be a reason for it, or I just missed them. Either way, this is the general cast you can expect to see in the book at some point or the other. Some of these are minor characters, some of them are major characters, and some are just side characters.

I think I might start work on the first chapter soon but I'll try to get more chapters outlined before I start working on the first. I want to try and get a picture in my mind of how many chapters this beast will have and how many things I can cut.

[catsofwillowclan]

Teamwork and Trouble

As Pipitstar and Lilacspeck set up training for the day, Thriftpaw sneakily convinces Auburnpaw to set up a prank for their mentors.

It works, and with their teamwork Pipitstar ends up hanging by her ankle from a tree while the apprentices add 'scolded by the leader and deputy at the same time' to their list of achievements.

---

"I dunno, Thriftpaw. It's just - won't we get in a lot of trouble?"

"It'll be funny! I bet they won't even know it was us," Thriftpaw whispers to Auburnpaw as the two trail behind their mentors on their way to the sand pits for training. Auburnpaw scrunches his nose and fidgets with the edge of this tunic, peering at the older warriors who seem to be engrossed in some kind of deep conversation about the clan.

Pipitstar and Lilacspeck were pretty important... and messing with people that important would be bad, right? But Thriftpaw is giving him his biggest, silveriest puppy eyes, and Auburnpaw trusts the older boy implicitly, so...

"It depends on what you wanna do, I guess," Auburnpaw says, wavering, and Thriftpaw goes from pleading to scheming in a matter of seconds.

"I think we could use a snare on one of 'em," Thriftpaw explains, pointing to the vines tangling up the woods along their path. "Rueprance taught me how to do snares, with the vines and things you find in the woods, and I bet I could make one strong enough for Pipitstar at least, since she's so small."

Auburnpaw nods and watches the two mentors to make sure they aren't catching wind of the boy's plan. Lilacspeck is explaining something to Pipitstar, whose face is serious with thought. Both of them are totally engrossed in the conversation, even missing when a few tiny birds startle overhead. Which is perfect for the plan, even if it's maybe not so great for a warrior to be that distracted on patrol. If they just keep talking...

"Hey!" Thriftpaw hisses, distracting Auburnpaw from his intense focus on the adults, "You're gonna have to distract them."

"Me?!" Auburnpaw exclaims a bit too loudly, clapping a hand over his mouth before he gets too loud and checking to see if either of the mentors noticed. Lilacspeck tosses a glance over his shoulder, but doesn't seem to pay the two apprentices much mind beyond checking to see that they're alright and quickly turns back around to give his attention to his leader. "Why do I have to? They're talking with each other already."

"Because I have to make the snare! And they're totally gonna notice if I'm making something... unless you ask them a question and make them focus on you instead of me."

"I--" Auburnpaw starts to protest, but after thinking for a second, Thriftpaw is right. If they make too much noise the mentors will definitely want to see what they're doing, and they'll notice if Thriftpaw disappears to set up the trap if Auburnpaw doesn't get them to talk to him instead.

Auburnpaw wilts. Thriftpaw looks elated.

"You'll do great, kid," he says, slapping the younger boy (quietly) on the back. Auburnpaw groans.

---

It turns out, asking the clan's most skilled warriors for advice on how to best locate prey in the woods keeps them so focused on finding birds that they don't notice the other apprentice sneaking off to set up snares further along the path.

While Auburnpaw keeps the mentors distracted, Thriftpaw quickly sets up a vine snare further along the path by the sand pits. He tosses sand and loose leaves over the snare's loop, scuffing up the area on top and nearby to hide any footprints or mess he may have made, and slips right back next to Auburnpaw before Lilacspeck even finishes explaining the nesting habits of sparrows.

"Wow, super interesting!" he pipes up, making sure the two are very aware of him being there, and Pipitstar turns to raise her eyebrow.

"You're never this interested in birdwatching when I try to teach you, Auburnpaw."

"Well, maybe Lilacspeck just does it more interesting than you," he says back with a coy shrug. Now BOTH of Pipitstar's eyebrows are in the air, but the short woman doesn't seem to want to press the issue - not with so much of their training session left to get through, and not enough patience left to deal with a fight. Instead she sighs, stepping out from the trailside brush and taking the lead down the path again.

"Well, you'd do well to pay attention anyway," she starts, as the little group heads out again. "You should listen to your mentor even if the lesson isn't interesting."

The apprentices are careful to stay behind Pipitstar, though they don't hang back as far as they were while concocting their little scheme. Lilacspeck follows after, watching the apprentices with some amusement as they approached the sand pit clearing and rolling his shoulders in preparation for the sparring to come.

"Hey, I won't complain about him being interested in what I have to say, as long as he's learning it," he says.

The clan leader just laughs in response - or maybe she was planning to say something, but she doesn't get the chance. The second her foot touches the leaf-littered ground in front of her, it's pulled away as Thriftpaw's snare snaps up into the branches of a large ash tree.

"Stars!" she swears, tripping and falling flat on her behind with a leg in the air, before her struggling is drowned out by Lilacspeck's bark of disbelief and Thriftpaw's shrieks of delight. Auburnpaw isn't quite sure what to do - between the joy on his friends face and the rage on his leader's, he can't quite tell if what he did was exactly good or bad.

---

The apprentices got the earful of a lifetime from a clan leader and a deputy at the same time, and with Pipitstar is still favoring her ankle the two weren't likely to have heard the end of it yet, either. Between the prank going incredibly right and the plans for the day's training going horribly wrong, Auburnpaw is feeling deflated as the group heads back from the sand pits and their distracted sparring session.

Pipitstar is making Thriftpaw stay right next to her in the front of the group to keep an eye on him on the walk back, so Auburnpaw is stuck next to his own mentor, too, scuffling at the ground and kicking rocks as they walk. Despite his initial laughter at the prank, Lilacpaw had been quite stern with both the boys during training and given them loads of extra laps and drills to run during the session.

But now that the sparring is done and Auburnpaw is clearly wracked with guilt, Lilacspeck sighs and lays a heavy hand on the boys shoulder.

"Listen," he starts, trying to seem as not-mad as possible when the boy turns his big watery blue eyes to him, but the moment he opens his mouth again Auburnpaw looks like he's about to cry.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm not going to be mad at you again, we already did that." He pauses, letting the boy take a few deep breaths to even out.

"Better?" The boy nods sullenly, and Lilacspeck sighs. "It was... good teamwork. Even though you shouldn't use your teamwork for that, specifically. Though between you and me," The man leans in, like he's telling a secret, and adds with a grin, "If it weren't for the fact that it was Pipitstar, and that I'm her deputy, I'd probably say that it was pretty funny."

Auburnpaw looks shocked and vaguely horrified at the confession.

"But wasn't it mean to do? I helped do something bad!"

Lilacspeck laughs again, big and booming and enough for Thriftpaw to try and turn around and Pipitstar to scold him for getting distracted.

"No one got hurt except for a couple of bruises and some lost pride. Though I don't remember you being taught that snare trap from either of us," he says lightly, and the boy smiles.

"Rueprance taught him!" he whispers dramatically, trying not to get anyone else in trouble with Pipitstar but also wanting to brag about Thriftpaw's newfound skills.

"Did she now?" Lilacspeck says, like he's saving that information for later.

Auburnpaw smiles, chattering about the cool things the young warrior has been teaching the apprentices, and the the four head back from sparring no worse for wear, but with some valuable lessons learned.