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fourteendaysinaweek · 3 days ago

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Peter Parker Meets The Batfam

As seen on wattpad here and inspired by this post

A little one-shot that might have a p2 coming (ignore any inaccuracies with the batfam I had too many people I wanted to add and may have gotten confused. Oops)

Peter

I land hard on a rooftop, staring up at the gray sky in front of me. A shiver runs down my spine as I sit up, looking around. I don't recognize the skyline, the buildings are wrong, the sky is too gray for New York, not with the August sunshine we had less than two minutes ago.

"Strange?" I call out, careful not to be too loud. I know he was trying to get that cube— where did he send me? "Karen, where am I?" I'm met with silence as my heart speeds up. "Karen?" I do everything to bring her up to no avail. Did Strange figure out a way to disable her? No, he doesn't want me dead or lost— he just wanted me to stop. He knows Karen controls aspects of my suit and everything, he wouldn't disable her on purpose, right?

Okay, Peter. Think.

You're in a strange city, your AI is down, you have no idea where you are. What do you do? Go to a gas station and ask where you are. Wait no— I'm in the suit. I don't have to go to a gas station, I can just walk up to someone, everyone knows who I am. They'll assume that a bad guy got me lost.

I swing down from the rooftop and land in the street. Weird, not a lot of people out and about.

"Now what the shit is this?"

"Oh thank God I'm still in America—" I sigh and turn towards the cop. "Officer!" I walk towards him. "Excuse me, sorry, I was just in Manhattan fighting— and I seem to be lost— where am I?"

"...Gotham City."

"Fantastic— what state am I in? Is New York close to that?" He raises his eyebrow, reaching for his radio.

"Dick, you're gonna wanna see this." I smile awkwardly even though he can't see my mouth. Karen isn't working, and therefore the controls of my suit aren't either. "You don't know where Gotham is?"

"Uh— sir, you're city is very beautiful, but I attended public school, my geography isn't great, and I'm a little preoccupied trying to get back to the fight—"

"You've never even heard of Gotham?"

"Again, sir, I'm very sorry—"

"Okay, whats going on?" A very tall very muscular officer walks over. He then looks at me. "What the hell?"

"I— I'm so—"

"He says he's never heard of Gotham." The taller one raises his eyebrow.

"Never?"

"Look— I'm so sorry, but I need to get back to Manhattan, I was in the middle of a fight—"

"Who are you?" I blink.

"Who— who am I?" Suddenly I remember why exactly I was fighting Strange. "Oh. Um, I'm sorry, I'll figure it out, didn't mean to bother you, so sorry—" crap crap crap why is my first instinct Oh yay cops will help? I should know better by now—

"Just hold it—" I swing away, illiciting very loud noises of surprise from the two cops.

I end up back on a roof, another roof, and am aware of the trail I am leaving behind. I should stop swinging, so they can't track me. I take a deep breath and reach out with my senses.

"—swinging from webs?? I mean that's kinda cool, to be honest—"

"Just bring him in, be careful. We don't know what he's capable of."

"Yea, Tim. Fan boy later. Catch now."

"I don't know, even with the mask he seemed genuinely confused, like he really had never heard of Gotham."

"Oh, yea, Dick. Every single person on earth has heard of Gotham, if not for our fantastically high crime rates or Batman, then they know Mr. Genius Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist Bruce Wayne—"

"Hey, no government names on the comms."

My blood runs cold. Who the hell is Bruce Wayne and why did they call him that— that's Tony. That's Tony. This... this is wrong, nobody else should be called that— not even as a joke.

I take a breath. Calm down, Peter. You've got this. You can do this.

Orange light washes over me and I look up, seeing Dr Strange looking down at me.

"Strange!" I attempt to swing back through the portal but my web fizzles and falls.

"Enjoy your new universe, Peter. I'll be back in a year to check on you."

"Dr— STRANGE!" I yell as the portal closes. My hair stands on end as I'm surrounded by seven masked forms.

"Who are you?" One in a blue mask asks. I recognize him as both one of the cops from earlier, and the one who was saying I seemed confused. He's also the one called Dick. Full name must be Richard.

"I could ask you the same, Dick." He clearly falters, and the others tense. I think back to his uniform.

"Name calling is going to get you nowhere."

"You think I'm joking, Grayson?" That gets him to freeze. "Should I go down the line?" Please don't call my bluff please don't call my bluff please for the love of whatever do not call my bluff—

"Nightwing, you know this... thing?"

"... you really don't know who I am?" Strange said new universe. I don't know what I was expecting. "Spider-Man? I-I'm an Avenger? America's Favorite Avenger—"

"If this is some sort of weird power trip, like you think you're the greatest supervillain ever—"

"Villain?" I turn to the voice I recognize to be the one called Tim. "I'm not a villain!"

"Exactly what a villain would say." I look around, frantic.

"You have to believe me— I— the Avengers? Tony Stark? Nothing?" They all look to each other. I sink to my knees. "You don't have the Avengers. You don't have... anything." I hear static before a female voice begins speaking in their comms.

"I've got nothing on a Spider-Man, Tony Stark, or the Avengers."

"Of course you don't." They all stare at me as I sigh. "My name is Peter Parker. And I'm in the wrong universe."

"Okay, let's get that mask off and get you to a hospital—"

"Good luck getting my mask off, and I'm not going to a hospital. I need a computer. I have—"

"What do you mean, is your mask glued to your face?"

"No, Tim." He freezes. "It's nanotech. My AI controls it but because I'm in a different universe she doesn't work. I need a computer so I can fix her and then she can help me figure out interdimensional travel."

"How do you know our names?" The blonde girl asks.

"You should listen when your boss tells you not to use your government names on your comms."

"You hacked our comms?" I look at the one who looks like redskull but... less.

"No, I'm a superhuman. I heard you, literally."

"You... hacked our comms?" Dick says again.

"No, I— I didn't— I heard you— I have superhuman hearing?" I look around at them all. I sigh and listen closely. What can I hear... "I hear... something... or... no, someone running towards us? About... two hundred and fifty pounds? Something is flapping behind it— he's about a minute away based on his speed."

"How can you—"

"I told you, superhuman. Sort of. I—" I look at them, sizing them up. No, lifting one of them is probably going to get me attacked. I don't need that. They're not really setting off my gut, I don't feel bad about them. What can I do... I look around. "Ah!" I go over to a giant conveniently placed building air conditioning unit and lift it with one hand. "See? Superhuman. And three, two—" I point as a giant cloaked man appears. I was right, about two fifty. Mostly muscle.

"Meta." The smallest one mumbles. What the hell does that mean?

"Batman, he—"

"I heard." He narrows his eyes beneath his mask.

"Batman?" I say. "You really died on that hill?" Suddenly, my body feels heavy. Weak. "Crap—" I lean against the air conditioning unit.

"Are you alright, kid—"

"Don't call me that." I snap. "The only person who was allowed to call me that is dead— except no he isn't. He's in a different universe— god Mr. Stark, I wish you were here." I mumble that last part, it wasn't for anyone here. It was for him. "I'm fine, I'm just exhausted. I've been fighting an interdimensional sorcerer for like six hours and then I got dumped here, forgive me if I'm a bit tired." The man, Batman, nods.

"Alright, let's get you back to the cave. We can take a look and get that mask off so you can breathe better."

"My suit has a built in—" I stop. "No it doesn't, because Karen is down. Nevermind."

"Karen?"

"My AI. Do you have AI in this universe? Do you have computers—"

"Let's just... focus on you, okay?"

They all take me back to a giant tower.

"Bats, are we sure this is a good idea?" I hear Dick ask.

"He's a kid. He's scared and confused, not unlike how I met most of you. He thinks he's from a different universe, we—"

"I don't think I'm from a different universe, I am. And I'm not scared." They all stare at me again.

"When did you... gain the ability—"

"I was bit by a radioactive spider."

"Oh, metahuman." I furrow my brows.

"You call supers metahumans in this universe?"

"... you call them supers?" I nod.

"Well, sometimes. Other times they have a species."

"Like what?" I look at the blonde girl. I wish I knew all of their names.

"Well, my... kind of coworker Bruce got himself exposed to radiation and can shapeshift into a giant rage monster. I think he's got it under control now, but he accidentally exposed his cousin to it and now she can kinda do the same thing. Then there is Thor and Loki, they're just... gods, so, entirely different species there. Then there is Captain America, he is a super soldier, he was genetically modified to fight nazis. Bucky was also modified except he was modified by the soviets. And then we have uhhh Carol Danvers, she was modified by alien tech, and Natasha is just a trained assassin from... also the soviets? But yea, we're superheroes, so we're superhuman. What, are you guys metaheroes?"

"Vigilantes."

"Okay, moment of transparency, I know two of your names. I don't think it's a good idea for me to keep calling you by your government names while you're in the suit, so... what do I call you guys?"

"Nightwing."

"Redhood." Redskull looking guy.

"Red Robin." Tim.

"Spoiler." Blondie.

"Robin." Tiny one.

"Blackbat." The other girl, I can't see any of her skin or hair.

"Cat Girl." Short red hair and honestly comically large ears attached to her mask.

"And the girl on the comms?"

"... Signal." Dick, aka Nightwing, tells me. I look at Batman.

"And you're Batman. Great. I'm Spider-Man." My hair stands on end as two more figures approach from the sky. I tense before realizing that my new found... allies seem unfazed.

"Wonder Woman, Superman. This is Spider-Man. He says he's from a different universe and he can't get his suit off."

"You don't believe me, fine, I wouldn't believe it either. Is there a mind reader in this universe? Truth serum? Anything?" Everyone looks to Wonder Woman.

"I can use the Lasso of Truth."

"Perfect, hit me." She very carefully undoes the holster and a giant golden lasso unfolds. She takes my arms and ties it gently around them. It tingles.

"Who are you?"

"My name is Peter Benjamin Parker. I am a junior at Midtown School Of Science And Technology. I am Spider-Man, the vigilante hero turned Avenger after fighting Thanos in the Battle of Titan where I, along with half of the world's population, blipped. After coming back, I became a full-fledged Avenger." Everyone shares look.

"How did you get here?" She asks.

"A villain named Mysterio leaked my identity to the whole world and got me labeled as a terrorist. In my effort to fix things, I went to Doctor Strange, a sorcerer and fellow Avenger for help. He had a spell that could essentially turn back the clock and erase my identity from people's minds. I didn't want to go back to hiding things from my loved ones, so I asked for them to be excluded, but I accidentally broke the spell box and brought villains from other universes into my own. I discovered that the villains were misunderstood and hurting, and I am determined to save them from dying in their own universe. Doctor Strange did not like that and throw me here as a time-out. He said he'd back in a year." Wonder Woman nods.

"I see. Anybody else have questions?"

"How do you know our names?" I sigh.

"I told you. I have incredibly keen senses I could hear you all talking on your comms when you were chasing me."

"How did you come into your abilities?"

"Radioactive spider. Again. I already said this. Now can you please point me towards a computer?"

#marvel #dc #dceu #batfam #ironfam #spiderson #batkids #crossover #mcu #dceu fandom #mcu fanfic #mcu fandom #dceu fanfic #peter parker #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd

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xoxo-ren-xoxo · 6 months ago

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Ari AU - Part Four

The next segment in my Popstar Grian AU that I have been cooking up with @angeart . Sorry for the wait on this one, life has been getting in the way a bit and writing this AU down is exhausting!

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Five

Feel free to send me asks about this AU! It makes me insane.

CONTENT WARNINGS for this part: suicide attempt, suicidal ideation, hospitals, serious medical conditions, discussion of seizures, discussion of psych wards, loss of personal autonomy

Hospital, Continued, OR: This is Likely Not An Accurate Representation of Seizure Related Disorders

Things calm down once Grian is stable again. It takes some work, lots of nurses and doctors hurrying around and running machines while Scar sits outside the room terrified. But eventually, she's deemed stable and Scar is given the go-ahead to re-enter the room.

The crew are finally allowed to sit in the room with her too, but it’s honestly kind of boring. Grian is unconscious, and there isn't much more to say. Talking about what happened - the suicide attempt, isn't something anyone really wants to do at the moment.

While they're waiting it turns to late morning. Impulse goes out and grabs some copies of the morning tabloids. They probably aren't the most pleasant thing in the world to read but the crew have to know what's being said about Grian.

Mumbo goes to get them all some breakfast from a vending machine (and comes back holding way too many packets of chocolate and crisps) while Pearl gets coffee and then stays with Scar, putting a hand on his shoulder as they sit together listening to the steady beeping of Grian’s heart monitor.

When Impulse gets back with the tabloids, it at least gives Scar a break from the silence. Everyone starts ranting about how insensitive the headlines are and how they’re going to have to do so much work to fix things when Grian is better and... Scar looks at them fondly, but doesn't really add to the conversation.

He's glad for the distraction. The hope they still carry that Grian will get better. Because Scar can't see that now. He really can't see it. She looks so fragile now, so drained of life, lying in the hospital bed.

It's another few hours before he wakes up.

As soon as they hear the muffled sounds of Grian trying to speak, Scar is right at her side. There had been mutterings between nurses about how worrying it’s getting, more nervous looks being shot her way with each passing hour, but Grian is waking up again. She’s incredibly hazy and out-of-it, but she’s awake.

And Scar is there this time. He's right at her side. Immediately ready to help her with anything she needs.

The oxygen mask is taken away and Grian tries to say Scar’s name, but it barely comes out as anything. Then he just sobs against Scar's chest, too tired to panic, too hurt to speak. Scar holds him as nurses very carefully flit around.

For a while, she’s kind of fading in and out of. When she’s awake and aware, she talks to Scar a little. Asks if she died. If she was kidnapped. Did she take too many pills? Why is everyone here? Is any of this real? Scar answers each question softly and gently with as much clarity as he can. Which isn’t much, because it’s still Scar.

As he gains more awareness, Grian keeps apologising to Scar. For attempting, but also for not succeeding. For burdening him. Scar never stops his reassurances, holding Grian as close as he can while whispering in her ear.

When a doctor comes in and talks about a psych eval, Grian panics. She's terrified, and guilty, knowing exactly what they're going to say. Of course she isn't mentally well. Everyone can see that. She attempted suicide, for goodness' sake.

More pressingly, she thinks she's going to be taken away. That they won't let her go home with Scar. They'll put her in some facility where she'll never get better. The horror stories she's heard from others who have been in the system like that shake her to her core, and that's what really frightens her. That's what makes her want to escape it all.

Attempt Two - Hospital

When the nurses leave, Grian asks Scar to loosen her wrist straps because she’s uncomfortable. The nurses said that they’re for Grian’s safety, but… what harm could it do? Scar doesn’t want Grian to be uncomfortable. The crew have gone home to sleep, while Scar chooses to stay overnight.

But though Scar falls asleep on the chair next to her bed, Grian stays awake, mind full of loud and terrifying thoughts. She is so afraid, and guilty about what she's putting Scar through, and, honestly, feels like finishing what she started is the best way out. Even if it is scary, it’s less scary than the psych eval. Less scary than the thought of being taken away from Scar and analysed by doctors. Less scary than the thought of it all being leaked to the press.

With the wrist straps loosened, it’s easy for Grian to escape her room and slip out into a hallway. She finds medical scissors in the bathroom. Which is scarier than the pills. More physical and real.

There is barely an attempt before she’s found by a nurse. She must have made a lot of noise getting out of bed and into the hallway. Even with scissors, there isn't even a scratch deep enough to bleed. Still, she’s told off and sent back to bed.

Scar is given a very stern talking-to by an angry nurse for letting Grian get free and wander off. He’s horrified that he let it happen, the looming ‘what if?’ playing in his head the whole time.

There are consequences. For some time - whatever the doctors decide - he isn’t allowed to see Grian. Which is torture, really. To distract himself, he takes a few much-needed trips between the hospital and home.

The psych eval goes badly the next day. The doctors confirm Grian's fears, wanting to send him to a facility of some kind. She begs not to be sent away, that it would kill her, even if not literally. She wouldn’t last long in a place away from Scar, especially not being observed and evaluated. Hearing her distress, Scar insists that Grian should be allowed to come home.

It really hits Grian that it isn’t her choice. It’s Scar’s, as his partner and the closest thing she has to a legal spokesperson (aside from, what, her manager?). Ever since she cut her family off.

Grian has no control over his own autonomy. He supposes he forfeited the right to speak for himself after two suicide attempts, but still, it’s horrible. Or, a horrible thought. Grian is somewhat confident that, because of her status and wealth, she could reasonably convince them to listen to her and her alone, if she needed that to happen. Luckily, Scar’s on her side regardless.

He promises to read all the booklets the hospital gives him - especially the ones about what to do if Grian has another seizure - and to lock away all the sharp objects, pills, shoelaces, wires, and glass in the house. Which he does during the time they don't let him see Grian (the biggest chunk of time is when Grian’s therapist visits. That's something they're going to have to keep doing, of course).

But, before anyone can go anywhere, first priority is a brain scan. Because something happened to Grian when she first woke up, and they don’t know what yet. Which is also terrifying! Grian is getting tired of being terrified!

It’s remarkably fast, as procedures go. The doctor and nurses take Scar aside and start talking to him, which Grian sees and really really hates because hello? He's right here? If there's something wrong with him, he wants to know!

Afterwards, the doctor does come up to her and explain that he's been diagnosed with something-or-other (she isn’t really listening, which sort of defeats her previous point) and needs to stay away from flashing lights and high stress scenarios.

Flashing lights. High stress scenarios. Grian almost laughs, that's actually hilarious.

There is also medication. Scar’s been given pills for her to take daily, to prevent seizures.

Oh. Scar’s been given the pills so that Grian can't take them on his own. So she can’t overdose again. He feels like he's being treated like a child. He understands why - he deserves it - but it still hurts.

Then, that’s it. Grian makes enough of a recovery to be discharged, and it’s time to go home. Prescribed with new pills, more therapy, and a lot of things to read. It feels anticlimactic. Impulse calls and says he’ll bring over a car, so… it’s another waiting game.

While Scar and Grian sit in awkward silence, Scar runs over the guilt in his mind. The fact that Grian got out of his room and was going to attempt again. Grian being dragged back into the room, arms scratched up, crying as she’s restrained again. Scar pushed out of the room and listening to her cries, being told it’s his fault she escaped… it all hurts.

But it was a mistake. It is in the past. Scar quietly places his hand over Grian's, extending the olive branch to her while trying his best not to cry. It doesn't matter. He has to be there for her now.

Leaving The Hospital

Impulse arrives with a baseball cap (which is too big) and sunglasses for Grian, to both hide her identity and keep the camera lights away. There are a lot of people outside still, with cameras and microphones. Cameras with flashing lights. Microphones that cause Grian so much stress.

How lucky.

Heading out first, Impulse distracts the crowds. Then, Scar tells Grian to close her eyes entirely and just let him guide her to the car. Pay no attention to the reporters. It's okay. They don't matter.

Grian’s used to it. He doesn't even complain. He knows he's just a thing to them. An object to gawk at and capitalise off of. Maybe she'll write a suicide note and blame them in it. That'd be a good comeback, wouldn't it?

It’s not a comforting thought, though. She loops an arm around Scar’s shoulder and allows herself to be moved like a ragdoll, stepping cautiously out of the hospital doors with her eyes shut tight and head bowed to the floor.

The light of cameras flash behind her shielded eyes, but nothing happens. It’s overwhelmingly loud, after so many quiet days in the hospital, but she pushes through. As she always does. Within a few moments Scar gets her into a car, and they’re off with no incident.

No seizure. It's strange getting used to the thought. Seizures were something that happened to other people, not to Grian. But now they do. Now there's something else to watch out for.

During the ride, Grian stays quiet. He’s scared to find out what’s waiting at home. Whether their house will be swarmed with people, or if it will be safe. Terrible thoughts crawl into her head like parasites, eating away all hint of positivity and relief from being out of the hospital. Scar seems upset with her. It's uncomfortable.

And then, without warning, they’re home. Like time has slipped past her. The car engine stops running. Grian remembers to breathe.

There’s no one there. At least, no one visible. Once they get inside and close the front door, Grian stands in the hallway, unsure of what to do with himself. He asks Scar, half-dissociated, if she’s still a person. Scar responds: of course, Grian is his favourite person.

Grian thinks she’s a lot of people’s favourite person, and that’s basically the problem. Something bristles up her spine as she thinks about the bar, and that person, the one who drugged her.

She's so terribly afraid of everything. Of herself. Of the press. Of the stalkers. She doesn't know how to explain that she still has nightmares about being drugged. And that the night he took those pills was both the calmest and most terrified he's felt in months. Because everything was going to go away. But everything was going to go away.

He tells Scar that he doesn't want to kill himself, but also yes, he does. She doesn't want to die but at the same time, how else will everything just stop? There's no other way out. He can't see it getting better.

Scar doesn't have an answer either. But he asks Grian, quietly, if he could just... try to stay alive. Even if it's hard. Even if it hurts. Try to stay alive, because he doesn't know what he'll do without Grian. Without Grian being there. Experiencing the world with him.

He can't - doesn't want to - imagine Grian never smiling again, never singing again, never getting another haircut or eating his favourite food or telling Scar she loves him, ever again. Never listening to Scar's Disney rambles or planning to pull little pranks on their friends. Never crying. Never coming up with song lyrics, or designing outfits. Never holding Scar again.

It's haunting, how Grian seems so far removed now from when Scar met her. Only a hint of her past self shining through, begging to be found and held onto. She's changed. They both have. But losing her altogether?

Scar can't think about that. It's maybe all Grian can think about. And they both feel very, very helpless.

#ben chats shit on the internet #ari au #hermitcraft #hermitblr #hermitshipping #scarian #ariana griande #grian #gtws #gtwscar #goodtimeswithscar #angst

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derinthescarletpescatarian · 1 year ago

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Hi I have a question. How do I start writing?

Basically I've never written anything except a dnd backstory which at best offended all my forefathers cause of how bad it was. I had this idea for a character that I would like to try and create a story about but I'm struggling to even start.

Part of the problem is my add who I have to switch from distracted to hyperfocus™. I'm also scared everyone will hate it even though it would be my first writing thing ever.

Sorry to drop this on you and feel free to ignore it!

They probably will hate it, although they won't tell you to your face. It's going to be awful. Same as the first thing you ever drew was awful. Same as the first time you try to play guitar would sound awful. Here's my advice: stop asking for advice for a bit and start writing.

Don't get me wrong, you will need advice. Writing is a craft, and there are rules, and while the best works usually break those rules it is because they know what the rules are and why they exist and why their particular work needs to break them. You are going to need SO MUCH advice to write anything good.

But not yet.

The biggest mistake new writers make is paralyse themselves. They don't write because it's going to be bad, because they don't know what they're doing; they procrastinate by reading books about writing advice (which will be valuable to you later!) or by waiting for inspiration or by telling themselves they'll start writing when they're good at it, which is a trap, because you will only develop that awareness by writing.

Get an AO3 account, if you don't have one. Or an account with your fanfic site of choice (I recommend AO3 because the culture there is extremely positive and encouraging to new writers, 'say something nice or not at all' is the norm there). Write a fun coffee shop AU or something about your blorbos, whatever you want, whatever's fun. Write a handful of these for fun and no other reason. After a few, you'll start to see why some of the other similar stories are better than yours. You'll notice that they're doing things in a way you aren't.

Then it'll be time to ask what they're doing, and why. And you can start thinking about improving your craft.

But the first step is to start crafting at all.

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larsthefishoil · 24 days ago

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For the well of knowledge known as "Something something write what you know but you cant know everything so ask someone with experience" - if there's a specific tag for this someone please tell me so I can add it BUT!

are you ever writing a fic with a bartender? And you don't really know how that works? well I work as a barback at a bar so here's some advice!

1- bartenders/barbacks are rarely snarky over drinks or orders. We'll only make fun of you if you're being an ass (and that also depends on the character of the bartender/barback), but if someone orders another round? Great, they're more drunk now so they'll probably tip better. Bartenders and barbacks are pretty much always going to act like either a stoic, focused worker or your best friend; our proficiency of work and ability to make people happy directly affects our take home pay so specifically not being an asshole is important.

2- carding: at my place honestly, we don't card much cause it's more the vibes someone gives and what they're ordering that gives off their age. (like if you look like you're in some vague 20s that one can't put their finger on, but you order a screwdriver, the bartender will absolutely raise their brow at you in suspicion and ask for id.(cause screwdrivers taste foul and only inexperienced drinkers ask for it)) But carding is really important! Realistically, it's just not feasible to handle fixing up five drinks while chatting with a customer and also making sure you ID the guy who looks like he's in his late 20s. There's kind of a split between bars with "won't card" reputations and normal bars full of adults getting off of work to chill. If, by chance, your character is under 21 and is looking for a bar to sneak into without getting carded, it's painfully easy to ask around and people who frequently check out bars will tell you to your face straight up. mostly because these adults are trying to avoid these bars; they are filled with horny, poor, stressed out college students new to drinking, bars without the "won't card" reputation aren't swarmed with kids. (btw always have your id on you its just safer in general)

3- If you've never worked at a place with a liquor license, then just a heads up that we're liable for any death/harm that comes to drunk customers/ people they may hurt under the influence. so if we serve someone too much and they go and get in their car and run someone over, then the worker that physically handed the drinks to the customer could go to jail. that being said, most inebriated people are accompanied by someone who will obviously drive them home, and I've seen some of the guys I work with bring drunks out of the bar to the street and order an uber for them.

4- size, age, sex, and sometimes ethnicity can contribute to how fast someone gets drunk to their ratio of drinks. I one time watched a guy drink 6 margaritas in a row, stand up, and walk out of the bar like he was sober. He absolutely wasn't, but these things are just hard to ping sometimes. Folks from East Asia, for example, have a genetic disposition to not be able to handle hard liquor as much as say, a Russian. Countries like Korea and Japan still have massive drinking problems, but that's a whole other thing. So there's genetics, tolerance, other smaller factors, but the main factor to drinking to drunk ratio is the size of the drinker but I think everyone's aware of that.

TERMS!

that little cap that we shove in the bottles that's metal and silver - quick pour.

small measuring tools with a small 1oz cup connected to a 2oz cup that you can flip over. Used for exact measures when making drinks - jiggers

metal cups we use to shake the drinks - tin

Stick we use to smash mint/fruit rinds to bring out the oils plus other stuff- muddler

(if someone thinks of something else and describes it I can probably name it)

Feel free to ask questions and I'll answer to the best of my ability! <3

#writing advice #writing #fanfic #bartending

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plutonium-sky · 9 months ago

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Sky lore/headcannons dump part two boogaloo. This one is about spirits, and maybe a little about skids and winged light

part one in link below

So I like to put spirits into a hierarchy: Elder spirits, Season guides, and Regular/Seasonal spirits. So. What are they?

Spirits are beings of pure light, just like winged lights are. I'm not talking about those btw because idk what they are in my head... yet. But! that's not exactly it. Here, spirits are more like the... vessels, of light. In order to function, and be aware, they gotta be supplied with light. Otherwise! They will enter a dormant state.

And, of course, not everyone gets the same amount of light- Elders get it directly from skids (cutsceeeeenes~), Season guides get it from you finishing their quests (yay), and Regular spirits.... get it from season guides or Eden itself (last one is only when they come as ts or something). This would explain why we see some spirits out and about, while others aren't (e.g. performance spirits compared to... I don't know, Abyss)

Also this would mean that Hopeful Steward takes care of it for the regular spirits in aviary lmao

Anyways! Regular spirits CAN be woken up by skids. just give them a little light like skids do to elders (unfortunately this isn't part of the game), and then they're out and about until the light you gave them fades out- takes about an hour or so, depending on how active they will be. and here's where we go into the headcannons zone, returning to winged light even though I can't explain those.

If regular spirits want to be out and about for MORE than an hour, they would have to take a winged light- filling up their "vessel" in a self-filling loop. OFC, after having taken one, they can fly but beware- never let them use the last star on their cape. they'll just dissipate and you'll have to wake them up again :T

also, if you want to make things more interesting, make it so that it would be inadvisable to wake them up for the first time by yourself- wait for them to have come as a ts at least once. that way, you don't have to deal with them violently reliving their death by Eden shattering for the first time.

also, I like to think that season guides have at least some control over their seasonal area (if they have one), while elders are stuck in their statues (rip), can oversee the entirety of their realms, and have limited control over them. Also! they can meet each other in an in-between if needed (aka vault elder scene)

anyways onto skids. They're literally just fallen stars given form. We all knew that. And if they give up their light, they become ancestors/elders depending on how much they gave up (check part one). they're here to make sure that the balance of the realms won't tip over to darkness.... and here to also clean the mess that SOMEONE made (looking at you, Resh. naughty little skid you are, exploding eden)

aaaaand that's it for now. if I think of something I'll add more parts. otherwise! only headcannons from me from this point on.

#sky cotl #my sky lore #sky lore #sky children of the light #skyblr #sky headcannon #sky cotl headcannon #sky cotl headcannons #sky cotl hcs #sky cotl lore #sky spirit lore #sky cotl spirit lore #Pluto talks

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flamedraco · 5 months ago

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Day 3 of Writing a Minecraft Diaries AU

I made an attempt to use lore forge to help me keep track of things but my brain recoiled so hard at information overload that I decided I'm going to stick to my tried and true method of just writing shit down in a notebook and hoping for the best. It'll help visualize family trees better if I can actually draw diagrams.

Finally finished the outline for the plot of season one, now it's just a matter of figuring out relevant information and outlining chapters, then starting to write them. Also most of the characters have been decided and their stand ins accounted for. So I'll include the cast list down below tho do be aware this could change later once I actually get around to the chapters. Again, if you don't recognize the names listed it's probably either a really obscure member of the DSMP lore, an OC, or a name I came up with for an obscure member of the lore.

If I'm going to do this I'll probably break up the seasons into their own books unless I manage to reduce season 1 down into fewer chapters. But I don't think that's going to happen since I'm already working on the outline for the seventh chapter and we haven't even gotten to the part where the werewolves are supposed to be involved. And I cut the werewolves out for fucks sake.

I'm still debating on if I even want to continue into season 2 or not. Diaries lore is massive and has a lot of moving parts, things set up in season 1 specifically for season 2 and things that I might need to remove or add. I have the plot summary but depending on what I decide to do regarding season 2 and the potential of another book...I guess that really depends on how the chapters are received and if my brain decides to stay DSMP hyperfocused for another year or so. Because if I'm trying to convert the ENTIRETY of Diaries into an AU that's probably going to be three multichapter books just on it's own and I'd probably rewrite the entirety of Season 3 since it was never finished and only had 37 episodes. This kind of project could take me an entire year, probably longer.

I do know that I want to try and do this first book tho. That's the only reason why I rewrote major plot points, have an overview, am creating chapter outlines, and have the series pulled up on my phone, two tabs of the wiki, and my doc open as I take notes with my notebook close by for if I need a new name for an OC.

There's a lot going into this planning right now. Converting Diaries into an AU is proving difficult. Especially with how certain characters change the plot and characters I'm having to cut out (if you see a certain handful of characters not mentioned I probably cut them out due to story changes). I've already had to rewrite a lot of things regarding the finale due to how I've changed the plot and the characters that are involved. Because keep in mind, just because these characters take on the role of another does not make them the same character. Wilbur is going to act as a completely different protagonist from Aphmau. Quackity is not the same type of person that Garroth is. Also if you don't see your favorite DSMP character mentioned, don't worry. There are places for them to show up if I continue into the next season with another book. And if they aren't here it's probably due to them not fitting into the roles that I needed. My choices aren't meant to offend anyone, they were made for the sake of the story and who I feel fits better where.

Take the cast list with a pinch of salt because this could always change later as I work on the chapters. And the lists themselves are taken directly from the Season 1 Character List from the Minecraft Diaries Wiki. If someone important isn't mentioned here than they'll probably still show up in the fic it's just for some reason they're missing from the Wiki. Unless I cut them. Because I did cut some characters. There's also the chance that the character mentioned in the list was NOT mentioned in the overview on the Wiki so they're a minor enough character for me to not have included them here due to not having a stand in yet. Some characters might also just be listed as unnamed because I feel like I might not mention their name.

Again: List is subject to change in the future.

ALSO: Relationships between characters may be changed due to the characters now standing in their place, for example: Kenmur and Emmalyn are a ship in Diaries, but I am not shipping Phil and Techno together in any form other than PLATONIC.

WARNING: Some characters in the cast list placement below may contain spoilers for both MC Diaries and, as such, the fic I am going to write, specifically in regards to the Shadow Knights section. Proceed at your own risk!

Cast List: MC Diaries Character Name - DSMP/OC Name

Phoenix Drop Aphmau - Wilbur Garroth - Quackity Laurence - Sapnap Nicole - Karl Emmalyn - Techno Lucinda - Hannah Brendan - Foolish Zoey - Nox Cadenza - Ena Kawaii~chan - Tina Donna - Tiffany Brian - Darius Kyle - Tristan Logan - Elderic Dale - Frankie Emma - Rosella Molly - Lydia Levin - Miriam Alexis - Alanna Zenix - Purpled Dante - Puffy

Scaleswind The Lord of Scaleswind - Unnamed Matilda - Lethia

O'khasis Zane - Dream Katelyn - Niki Jeffory - Ciaran Garte - Unamed

Bright Port Lord Burt - Lord Dawn Azura - Aliara Visher - Caradoc Paul - Johnson

Meteli Hayden - BadBoyHalo Kenmur - Phil

Wyverns Ungrth - Sgaeyl Raven - Crow

Shadow Knights Zenix - Purpled Gene - Schlatt Sasha - Samantha Vylad - Tommy Laurence - Sapnap

Other The Stranger/Aaron - Sally

If I missed someone there might be a reason for it, or I just missed them. Either way, this is the general cast you can expect to see in the book at some point or the other. Some of these are minor characters, some of them are major characters, and some are just side characters.

I think I might start work on the first chapter soon but I'll try to get more chapters outlined before I start working on the first. I want to try and get a picture in my mind of how many chapters this beast will have and how many things I can cut.

#writing #fanfic #fandom #mcyt #minecraft diaries #minecraft diaries au #dsmp #dsmpblr

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through-fire-and-flame · 4 days ago

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bayou-blooded, vol. 3 (drabble)

I see Laurentius scamper backwards away from me and back up and onto his feet, raising both his hands.

"Come on, big guy, over here," he shouts. "Let's you and me tussle proper, yeah?"

The thing turns toward him, and I realize he must have been at this for a while - nigh every inch of its skin is seared, covered in livid red and black burns. It doesn't seem to have slowed down any, which means it might be fireproof. The realization causes my stomach to leap into my throat - if that thing is fireproof, we're both fucked. Neither of us are going home.

Laurentius has that damn lighter in his hand again, thumb flicking madly at the wheel - and I watch an orb the size of my head bloom out of it, guided by the sweep of his opposite hand. He looks like he's pulling fire out of that thing, like it'll never end, like he's ready to ignite the whole damn world. I can see it in his face - nothing gentle in that grin, battle-crazy as he is - he'd like nothing more than to burn it all down. I half-think he's going to immolate the whole grove, me with it.

But he doesn't. Instead, he waits for the creature to commit to another swing and then jerks his whole body forward, throwing his hands out and blowing air like he's trying to inflate something. The orb spills out and over its boundaries into a bright lance, catching the creature right in its charging mouth. The ghoulish thing blooms from the inside, its belly distended by the force of the blast in its gut; it tries to scream and all that bubbles out of its ruined mouth is a belch of thick, foul smoke.

I watch it go to its knees, twist to one side, and then collapse completely, and go still. Laurentius stumbles backward against a tree and I rush to him.

"I ain't never seen a Fire that big, Laur," I say, checking him for injuries. I hadn't realized it before, but he's cut up pretty bad; it wasn't a one-sided fight at all. He was slashed up like that and still thought to tackle me first? The fuck is wrong with this molecule, I think to myself, the thought skittering over the surface of my adrenaline addled brain. We don't even know each other that well - he lets me call him Laur, and that's close enough to friendship, like I said, but I wasn't aware we were on lifesaving terms.

Maybe we aren't. Maybe the dumb bastard would do that for anybody. Maybe he'd do it for a stranger. Probably would do it for a stranger, swampling or not, Witch-blessed or not.

"Fuckin' idiot," I mutter, tugging open that stupid hoodie he insists on wearing. It's a good thing the Fire lets us mess with our temperature or he'd have died of heatstroke a long time ago. He offers a feeble protest and it's not long until I see why: even past his immediate wounds - and there's a lot of 'em - he has more scars on his body than I've ever seen on anyone.

I stop, and meet his tired eyes, and I study his face, looking as though that might offer me an answer as to how the fuck he's still walking.

"Come on," he breathes. "We...we gotta get back. We handled it."

"You know what I have to do, and you know it's gonna hurt," I tell him, and he nods.

"I'll try to keep it down, promise," he tells me, and then keeps to his word, gritting his teeth as I use the Fire to seal him up. They'll tend to him proper back at the village, I tell myself - maybe it won't add too much to that lattice on his chest.

"So...what the fuck was that thing?" I ask him, as he catches his breath. "And when did you get so good with the Fire?"

"Don't know - looked human, once, so I guess it might, uh, might have been one of ours, honestly," he says. "Might have explained why it was fireproof too."

"What do you mean, one of ours? And it wasn't fireproof - you killed it with the Fire."

"I mean there's not a lot of people out here, and unless the swamp things have gotten some strange ideas in their heads, my guess is that thing was human once, and got all...distorted," Laurentius breathes. "And it didn't think shit about fire. So - one of ours. Got up out of the mud. You know there's weird shit out here."

He chuckles painfully, and looks up at me. "But ain't nothing fireproof on the inside, mind," he adds.

I try not to think about it. That's what we all do, when someone disappears into the mud. We try not to think about it. It was because I couldn't see myself not thinking about Laur that I came out here in the first place.

"Alright," he manages, straightening up. "Time to get out of here. As far as anyone knows, you took a walk, and you saw me on the way back into camp, got it?"

"Yeah, yeah," I say. "I know how to keep it sideways, asshole. Let's go."

Back at the village, they don't ask a lot of questions. I think they're glad to see him too, really - he has an attitude, but like I said, he jitters right along with the rest of us, push comes to shove.

Once they let him out of the Witch's hut, I wait for him on his porch, just to make sure he's okay.

"You alright?"

"Quit fussing over me, dammit," he grumbles, even as I step in and help up him the steps. "I just need to rest."

"Can't help it," I tell him.

"You're a terror, Rosabeth."

"I know, Laur."

"Listen to me next time, alright?"

"Sure, Laur."

"...in one ear and right out the other, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is, Laur." I grin at him, and he looks a little surprised. I don't think he gets people smiling at him often, but he grins back, right enough.

"Right, well," he says. "You, uh, you have a good night. Thanks for checking on me."

"Sure," I say, and I wait until I hear that heavy click again before I leave.

Good thing he made it back, I tell myself. Good thing for me, good thing for everyone. We're chaos, and he's part of it, proper.

#bayou-blooded #drabble #surprise! it's rosabeth from dark souls 2! PYROMANCYYYYYY

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mountainmaven · 1 year ago

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Brain dump - long (sorry)

This past week has been surreal. The flood up here has thrown me for a loop. I am better today but it's still settling in and I'm still processing. I've been through hurricanes before - I lived in FL for almost 20 of my adult years, and I experienced Hurricane David in my youth. That this was "only" a tropical storm, and the damage it caused on our mountain is just mind blowing. I know too that this devastation is literally nothing compared to say Maui for example or other countries completely obliterated by typhoons or other hurricanes. But it's still a devastation nonetheless. The entire mountain, and all the recreation areas are closed until further notice.

There are 2 roads that go up and down the mountain, one on each "side" of the mountain, and then a 21.5 mile road that connects them. On our side of the mountain are 4 neighborhoods, 3 of which got hit far harder than we did. They have roads that are absolutely completely gone. Houses were damaged (though all are still standing for now), cars were lost to flooding. Our little library was badly damaged, as was the school. I hear that the fire department was destroyed. The school is currently being "held up" by giant boulders that they brought in in hopes that it won't just fall into the ravine.(that's all we have up here. a fire department, the library and an elementary school - plus the hotel that is a little further down the mountain and they're fine thank goodness). Our road was badly damaged and yet now that I've seen with my own eyes the damages, that road damage is minor compared to what just one of the other neighborhoods experienced. The neighborhoods on the other side of the mountain - I don't know how bad they were hit, though they are all off grid so no public services were affected that I'm aware of.

The energy company did an outstanding job of getting power back to everyone quickly - I think everyone's power was restored in around 72 hours (they did it by neighborhood). That included having to replace fallen poles, and lines. The water company also did a good job of addressing the damage and giving people water until they can fix it. I'm not sure if the other neighborhoods have running water yet. We do, we never lost it, but we did have a boil order in affect that was lifted Saturday night. One of the things each of them had to deal with was dirt. They either had to remove so much dirt to get to where they needed to be to make repairs, or they had to add enough dirt so they could access where they needed to make repairs. They really were on it though.

The ski lodge on the other side of the mountain also sustained significant damages, not sure if they'll be open for the season this year -but if the roads aren't fixed in time it won't matter anyway.

We are currently restricted to using the road up and down the mountain only when absolutely necessary (and they'd prefer we do it before 7 am and/or after 5 pm), and we have to show proof of residency to get back up. (I'm fine with both of those things, inconvenient, yes. And while I would like a little more freedom to come and go, it's okay).

I hear chainsaws all day now, and have for the last week. They're cutting up trees that had fallen, but they are also felling other trees. My guess is because they're going to move the electric poles further in, away from the road. All of our ravines, washes, dry river beds weren't enough for all the water that was coming down the mountain. Almost all of them are 2-4 times wider than they were before. Our springs (we have tons of natural springs in our mountain range) are overflowing and will probably do that off and on for a while.

So far the wildlife seem to be okay - we've seen deer, and the wild horses so they're' fine. Though I just now realized I haven't heard any foxes at night since the storm so they may have moved to a safer location. And the burros further down the mountain are okay too.

One of the things we love about living up here is how removed we feel from the valley. But in times like this it makes it harder. Not just because of the isolation and reduced ability to go down to the valley, but the dismissal we feel from others. They don't understand what it's like up here, they diminish the effects the storm had on us (because they hardly got any storm), and all they're worried about is when they they come up and hike, or if the ski lodge will be open. The lack of compassion for humanity and people's lives and homes is kind of unsettling. So on one hand we love that we're often not included when people talk about the valley, but on the other hand times like this it would be nice to be thought of lol.

I had a therapy session yesterday that helped a bit. But now I'm worried about the possibility of having to travel to FL to help my brother out with my dad, but they're having an "above normal" hurricane season and I'm just not sure my mental health can take it. We're going to call my brother this weekend to discuss things.

#personal #about me #mountain living #mountain life #natural disasters #flood #tropical storm #hurricane

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littlegalerion · 2 years ago

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6 Things!

Tagged by @sheirukitriesfandom

Thanks for the tag!

1.) Last Song

That is a very hard question because when I put on music, I'm not really aware of what I'm listening to. Either "Beneath the Brine" by Family Crest or "Nothing Left to Lose" from Tangled the Series, and I have to add its either of those because of Warrior Cat MAPs 🫠

2.) Last TV Show

Clone Wars. My husband has never watched it and really wants to get back into Star Wars so we're watching it during dinner.

3.) Currently Watching

As for me alone, I have plans to watch through all possible Transformer shows on Tubi. It's a treasure trove on there. I'm saving Prime for last because ✨️nostalgia✨️.

4.) Currently Reading

Sims fanfiction. I'm not commenting further.

5.) Currently Obsession

Okay, so right now I'm preparing for chicks which involves building a coop. So the hyperfixation on learning how to do that is REAL. As for the chicks, I also now have to learn how to incubate eggs and hatch them myself which won't be until the end of April. Why? Because 1.) USA egg prices are bad so now everyone's buying chicks, to the point both birds in stores and on online hatcheries are backed up until August. I was lucky to get the breed I want via hatching eggs as early as the end of April. And people are buying chickens not realizing how much work goes into it, thinking they'll get free eggs, but already people are trying to return them because "it's been 2 weeks and the chickens aren't laying eggs???" 😡 2.) Others are taking advantage of the whole chicken craze/scare and buying out all the feed stores, reselling live chicks online for double the amount they paid in stores. 9/10 all these chicks are gonna flood the market come next few months.

So now my hyperfixation is learning how to build, raise chicks, raise chickens, raise meat rabbits, and garden. I currently got a blueberry bush root and a blackberry bush root potted and starting off indoors. Lettuce and tomatoes will be next.

6.) Unrelated Obession

Dog training/care in general. I know too much and I never shut up. This is second only to Elder Scrolls obsessions, I assure you.

I tag whoever sees this and wants to do it!

#also I play a lot of monster hunter rise now #strangely satisfying #yes there is a gilf in the game #but I dont play it just for him I play it because i get to take down giant monsters with a cute kitty friend and a puppy companion

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luxmaeastra · 2 years ago

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She tilted her face up to him letting his fingers skin over her chin and neck. She was sure her lips were as swollen as his was. His gaze was unnerving she didn't remember the last time someone saw through all her masks.

"Einar what are you looking for?"

Her words were hushed barely disturbing the dust of the room they'd found themselves in. His fingers moved down to her throat curling around it. She let him, she was a warrior, probably even better than he was. Aunt Hypaxia had made sure she could fight and adapt to any terrain or style agaisnt her. At least in that she understood her parents, the calm of sparring and rush of release it gave.

"I'm trying to figure out what spell you've put on me Lorin. I've never wanted anyone as much as I've wanted you."

He leaned down to kiss her, she gripped his tunic tugging him closer. Letting him lead, letting him devour her. With him all the noise stopped, with him all the anxiety flowed away.

He pulled back lips trailing along her jaw.

"Do you truly think your parents will stop us? They seem honorable Lorin."

Her eyes closed and she tipped her head back. In her mind she saw the flame her mother kept at her altar. The one she had taken as a small candle from Vallhan. The holy flame of her mother's hearth.

Her mother believed in the Mother, in her Priestesses and everything that entailed. She wouldn't understand this. Yes it was a passion, a tryst that most likely wouldn't survive their court. She didn't even know if it was meant to be more than it was.

"My mother is a lot of things. But she is most definitely not as honorable as you think her to be. My father will support whatever decision she makes."

Like he always does. It's not like the two of them had bothered to know her. She licked her lips fingers moving to trace his jaw, to play with his fiery hair.

"What of your parents? Surely your parents will approve of a strong match? My parents would be forced to be more loyal than they already are to her."

Einar hummed, his eyes slipping closed. He turned to kiss her fingers reveling in the way her breath caught.

"Yes but they'll see my devotion to you as a weakness. They want a strong alliance not one built on loyalty to anyone else but them."

His father may see some understanding but he'd never support it if he knew how desperately Einar wanted it.

"Emotions are things to be controlled Einar. They aren't meant to control you."

His mother would take one look at Lorin and deem her too meek to be her daughter-in-law.

But then no one asked him what he wanted. He was mean to be grateful with what he had and never complain. A sentiment he knew Lorin must have felt too growing up in Night. Not for the first time he wondered how she survived Hewn.

He leaned down to kiss her pressing her back against the wall. For now they could have this stolen moment one of many. Stolen breaths, stolen snippets of a future they may never have.

Neither heard the door open....

//for anyone! Discard the door if you just want to continue the scene. 🥰//

Ahem. Narcissus cleared his throat as he stood in the doorway, his arms folded as his eyes fixed upon the two younger forms. It had been more obvious than the pair of them were aware, did they not realize the hormones they gave off or the very obvious way they had looked at each other.

"I am sorry to interrupt the pair of you, but Einar, your mother is looking for you," he stated, acting as if he had just walked in on them reading a book. "You may want to tidy up, you know how much your mother dislikes it when you are so disshelved."

Maybe if Lorin had been a child of another he would have been more welcoming of the idea, the idea of being tied closer to Rhysand made him feel uneasy. He already had enough sway with Amarantha, to add more due to the union of their children.

#Muse | Narcissus

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yanmuffins · 2 months ago

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Hello I've been obsessed with your p&f au especially the singing aspect! Can you imagine when the yans actually become aware of everything reader, damian and Jon have been up to they actually start to dive into everything. They see videos of them all over like the gitchee gitchee goo song, the traveling the world songs, the love handle reunion songs! I can see them being surprised about damian singing as well lol! Also I was looking at the mom it's your birthday song can you imagine damian singing a version like that to bruce in private only for reader to make a concert for it! Sorry I'm rambling I just love your concept! This is how you gonna know it's me!🪷 gonna send another ask as well!

damian gets in trouble for participating in some of reader's adventures without alerting anyone (he tried. like 98% of times), which he thinks is both unfair and nonsensical, because he now has to deal with his other siblings making fun of him for partaking in all those musical numbers, and that's punishment enough.

it only adds to nail down how much they missed of their life. there's plenty of non-dangerous things they did during summer, like being a one-hit wonder with a cheesy romance song (by the way, aren't they too young to be making cheesy romance songs?) and all other pefomances you did for fun. they could have been there for that! and each instance they spot damian in the backgroud or beside reader rubs salt on the wound. at least he was keeping an eye on them, but they'll be bitter about that for a while.

damian has really gotten out of his shell since p&f! reader came to the manor, though. him? singing a song publicly for bruce with reader? this is a moment that needs to be captured in 4k professional cameras. hopefully that footage gets magically corrupted too.

i love this idea! i don't think p&f! reader would immediately brag about their adventures because they're pretty much grounded, forbidden from getting up to their usual antics (without supervision, at least, which damian no longer counts as), but eventually they'd pull out those memory books to illustrate how they've always done what they do with no problem, which has bruce sitting there in utter silence, surprised they're still, somehow, alive.

and the thought of reader spending a week or two in gravity falls with dipper and mabel before coming to the wayne manor is so funny. they're never going back there again after bruce sees a picture of them next to a monstrous-looking cryptid, but they're free to share their past experiences. if it makes them feel better. tim is lowkey jealous of their little sibling for having such an interesting life, and maybe could be tempted to cover for p&f! reader, damian and jon as long as they agree he can go have fun with them. but that's a big maybe.

#asks.#anonymous.#p&f! batsibling.

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yoramkelmer · 8 months ago

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Hogwarts Overexposed Chapter 13: Day of Reckoning

Hello everybody, it´s been a little while since the last sporking, but here we are. And I hope to get through this chapter in one setting.

As a preparation, since the last chapters sporking, I read ahead the chapters after chapter 12, and believe, reading these unsporked was really a test of patience.

I might as well add that there will be large sections of this chapter I will leave unsporked, as it really is so stupid one has to read it to believe.

"Harry, I feel as if we've failed the girls," Hermione said, her melancholy mood apparent in her voice.

"I know, but we've done everything within our power," he said, caressing her absentmindedly.

"But it wasn't enough. The girls still have to spend the next eight months parading about appearing to be dressed in those appalling costumes. How could Severus agree to Hogwarts participating in this debacle? What was he thinking?" she asked.

"I wouldn't be too hard on Severus," Harry replied. "His intentions were honorable. All the reports he received concerning previous games were positive. When Minister Wrong approached him last year concerning Hogwarts competing against the Americans, he only visualized positive results from the meeting. Like us, he was not aware that greed had tarnished the games and turned them into an adolescent peek show."

And this, Ladies and Gentlemen, is the last ever time Emma Wrong is mentioned, and it is mentioned in a way that is so nonchalant and without any mentions of her running an empire of terror attacks, abductions and nipple eating.

"When did we catch up with and pass the Muggles?" Hermione asked. "I always thought the magical world was rather prudish and behind the times and now this happens. Even in the most liberal of Muggle schools, students would never be allowed to parade around in such outfits, let alone be forced to do so."

Hermione, you´re in Hogwarts Exposed.

"It isn't our world or the schools that are to blame, it is government corruption and the greed of individuals like Simone," Harry insisted. "I'm not at all happy with the situation, but for now I'm afraid the best we can do is prevent it from escalating. The concealment charm is going to frustrate Rishard to no end. He's looking forward to the girls, especially Jamie, putting on a revealingly good show."

The social commentary is truly subtle.

And the way Harry talks of Jamie giving a "revealingly good show" is rather creepy as well.

Hermione nodded her head in agreement to Harry's comments, but they had done little to abate her frustration. "Even without any accidents, I feel like he's still winning. The vision of the girls in those costumes alone is enough to cause most men to puff up; their various parts popping out was just an added bonus."

"At least the girls should be able to cope with the situation," said Harry, sighing deeply. "They might not be happy with the sexually explicit nature of the costumes, but being nudists, they aren't ashamed for their various body parts to be seen. I can't imagine how Nora and the boys will react. Nora, especially; she is so shy and modest."

Don´t worry, Harry, Nora is gonna be brainwashed into accepting the dogma of naturism soon enough.

"I suggested to Jamie that she should try to convince the others to also use the charm, but I doubt that she'll have much success. The boys will likely be thrilled about the girls being nude, but I doubt they'll be willing to follow suit. Then, like you said, there is poor Nora. I doubt she'll have the courage to even leave her dormitory tomorrow."

"Hermione, what would you do?" Harry asked. "I mean under the same circumstances, would you wear the costume or go naked with only the charm?"

Hermione thought for a while. "That depends on what period in my life we're talking about. Now, I wouldn't hesitate in the slightest to use the charm; I'd have absolutely no problem with my teammates seeing me nude. However, back when I was a young girl in school, it would be a completely different question because I was an entirely different person. As a first and second year, I would definitely have opted for the costume. I can't picture me letting anyone see me nude, even though there wasn't anything much really to see. Even as a third, fourth and fifth year my body still wasn't exactly bursting forth. I would have probably still taken my chances with the costume rather than have anyone see me totally naked."

Does this sound like something the actual canon Hermione would ever say?

Hermione blushed. "In my sixth and seventh year, my breasts would have never been content to stay confined in that costume. I would have had to use the charm out of necessity although I would have died of embarrassment being naked unless you and Ron were my teammates. We were such good friends that I don't think I would have been nearly as embarrassed to be seen by either of you."

Such natural sounding dialogue. I´m so stunned.

Hermione laughed. "Maybe I should have let you guys see me naked in second or third year," she said. "Then at least it would have been evident to you that your one mate was a girl."

"That was Ron," Harry said defensively. "I always knew you were a girl. I just never realized that you were the girl I was destined to love. Speaking of which. You're upset tonight. Would you rather we forgo our normal pleasure?"

B O N K

"Harry, I don't think I could sleep a wink if we didn't make love. Being joined with you, as one, completes my day." Hermione paused. "There is something else we must discuss first, however. What are we going to do about Emily?"

"I don't feel anything needs to be done," Harry said, acting in Emily's defense. "Sure, she's more irrational than the other girls, but her heart is in the right place. Emily's a good girl."

Show, don´t tell.

Emily is by far the worst behaving of all the Sues, and yet Neil wants us to believe that she´s a good girl.

I hate her.

"I wasn't talking about punishing her," Hermione clarified. "I'd prefer she let it out rather than hiding her true emotions and feelings. I was more concerned with the concealment charm. Emily, as you well know, is the radical nudist in this family. Since she was taught the charm, not a week has gone by that she hasn't asked about the possibility of her using it instead of wearing clothes to attend classes. Now Caitlin, Jamie and Kim are about to do it, not for a day, but for eight months. Emily didn't make the team with them and now they are about to do something she's been begging to do for what seems like forever."

"Are you suggesting that we also let her use the charm?"

Well, of course!

Is anyone really surprised at this point?

Hermione nodded her head, a guilty expression on her face. "Harry, I must be the worst mother in the world. Yes, you are! Tomorrow morning I intend to send my two young daughters, their best friend and Jamie off to classes, all totally starkers." "Then I'm the world's worst father because I back your decision one hundred percent," Harry said. "But they won't actually be naked. They'll have on their socks and trainers."

OMG DATS LIKE SO FUNNY OMG OMG Hermione stared at Harry momentarily, and then broke into laughter. "Men," she said, before nestling back in his arms.

* * * * * *

Tuesday, November 1, 2005 "Girls, hurry!" Hermione yelled. "You're not going to have time for breakfast if you don't get a move on." "I think I've lost my appetite," Kim said, as she led the other girls into the room. "This is going to be harder than going nude on the cruise was."

Oh, the conflict! Can´t you feel the suspense in this scene? "You'll be fine," Hermione lied as she inspected the girls. The short walk from the bedroom to the sitting room had been enough to cause Jamie's breasts to burst out of her top. Kim's slit looked like it was trying to devour her tiny triangular bottom. Only Caitlin remained at least minimally covered.

This whole "Caitlin has flat breasts" gag is both really annoying, cringe and reeks of unfortunate implications. Harry and Hermione exchanged perplexed looks. "Is this going to work?" Harry asked, as he held a sleeping Ben. "Doesn't the charm simply replace the clothing? What is going to prevent their goodies from still popping out?"

Harry, you calling them "goodies" makes you seem like a pervert. "The difference is that unlike an article of clothing, the charm isn't actually worn. It is more like a three dimensional projection that appears solid. Clothing can shift position, the projection can't. It will always cover what it initially covered." Hermione paused. "You can even feel as if you are grabbing onto it, but when you pull, nothing happens because there is actually nothing there. You can't touch, rip or tear something that doesn't exist."

How convenient that such spells exist. Occasionally one truly forgets that this is supposed to be a Harry Potter fanfic. "Mum, does that mean that it can't get wet or dirty?" Caitlin asked. "Exactly! If you fell in mud, your body would be covered from head to foot. The charmed article would appear completely clean, while in reality you would be covered in mud underneath it. Now, what we want to do is have each of you adjust your costume before I perform the charm on you. You want to cover your breasts on the side as best as you can and also make sure that the triangular patch at your crotch is smooth and covering as much as possible.

The latter part is where I´m asking - why all these details?

Though it´s rather obvious why. "So then once they are covered with the charm, they can't get a camel toe or expose a nipple?" Harry asked.

Well, considering how Madam Hooch is out of the way now, I doubt they need to be afraid of her showing up and attempting to eat their nipples. "No, no accidents," Hermione said, "but unfortunately that still leaves an awful lot exposed."

One might even say Overexposed, am I right? "An awful lot!" Harry repeated, wondering what his reaction would have been at 15 seeing Hermione, Cho or Parvati in a costume such as this. B O N K Suddenly he was having second thoughts about the girls leaving the sanctuary of their quarters. "They're required to go about their normal activities," Hermione said, as if reading Harry's mind. "We have no choice." Harry and Emily stood watching as Hermione did the charm on each girl individually and then as they in turn slipped out of their costume.

I still find it baffling how the main conflict and actual plot of this fic is angsting about these stripperific outfits and that the main villain is a flamboyant camp gay stereotype. They all appeared to be still dressed, but Emily knew from personal experience that they were actually nude. As the girls slipped on their socks and trainers, Hermione gave some additional advice. "I didn't charm the capes because I didn't know whether you wanted to wear them or not. They don't really cover anything; they just draw attention and make you look more ludicrous. Also, be careful how you bend, do a lady-like squat. The front and back of that outfit is only connected by a quarter inch string; it won't hide anything if you bend improperly."

This is the last time the capes are mentioned as part of the outfit, afterwards, they´re never mentioned again.

Like so many other things in this series. Emily had watched, a gloomy expression on her face, as Hermione performed the charm on Jamie, Caitlin and Kim in succession. "I'm afraid that's about all I can do to help you," Hermione said dolefully. "I hope the other students understand. After all, anyone of them could be in your shoes. Speaking of shoes; Emily, quickly slip out of your shoes and socks." "Why?" Emily said staring at her mum questioningly. Then she suddenly realized why. "Are you going to put me under the charm, too?" she asked elatedly. Hermione nodded her head and gave her youngest daughter a weak smile. Emily was euphoric.

I hate Emily.

* * * * * *

"So far, so good," Caitlin said, as they neared the Great Hall. "Caitlin, we used the private stairs from the staff quarters to the Great Hall; no one has even seen you yet," Emily reminded her.

In this fic, you never know though. "I know. I wish we could keep it that way," she said. "I realize this sounds crazy, but I'd prefer if everyone were about to see me nude rather than in this sluttish outfit."

This is going to be a running gag in this fic from now on. "It's not crazy," Jamie assured her. "Kim and I feel the same way." Kim nodded her head. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but let's get this over with." The others agreed as they hurried from the refuge of the tapestry-covered passageway to the Great Hall, bursting with students. As they entered, every eye turned in their direction, but they weren't greeted with the expected wolf whistles or obscene remarks. In fact the relative quiet was unsettling, considering the display they were affording the other students. Quickly, they split. That sounds rather impractical in this fic though. Caitlin and Jamie heading to the Gryffindor table, Emily and Kim to Slytherin. "That went better than I expected," Jamie said as she took a seat next to Amanda. "I thought we'd be greeted with all sorts of obnoxious comments." "That's because Snape chewed out the entire hall just before you got here," Amanda responded.

Yes, the one time Snape shows some spine, it´s off screen! "What happened?" Jamie asked inquiringly. "When the Americans walked in they were given the type of reception I imagine you were expecting. The pretty blonde -- didn't you say her name was Debby? Yes, this one of the few times we get a description -- became quite flustered and actually tripped over her own feet. Brian prevented her from actually falling to the floor, but in the process, both her boobs popped out. The Hall went wild and she's been crying ever since." Jamie glanced toward the Hufflepuff table and saw Debby crying her heart out, her head buried in Brian's chest. "Snape saw the whole thing and literally blew his top," Amanda explained. "He went into a tirade for about ten minutes about how wrong it was that the contenders were forced to wear such provocative costumes and that he was ashamed to be associated with the event. Bottom line is that if anyone treats any contestant with anything but the utmost respect, that person will be packing their bags and leaving Hogwarts."

Oh well. "That should put an end to obscene remarks," Caitlin said, "but I doubt it will have much effect on the lustful stares." "Especially in your case, Jamie. How in the world are you managing to make your breasts behave?" Amanda inquired.

Would you ever have expected to read a sentence like this in what is supposed to be a Harry Potter fanfic? "The concealment charm," Jamie whispered in Amanda's ear. "Caitlin and I are actually sitting here nude."

How lucky that no one outside the table hears it, considerng that everyone around them stares at them. Amanda stared at Jamie in total disbelief, before saying, "May I?" Once she touched Jamie, she just sat there speechless, a confounded expression on her face.

Seriously? "Good morning, everybody," Alex said, giving Jamie a light kiss on the cheek and sliding in next to her. "I wanted to be here before you guys," Alex said apologetically, "but I overslept. I hope you and the others weren't given any grief." Without thinking he laid his hand comfortingly on Jamie's. He had momentarily forgotten about the concealment charm, but in a few seconds he was reminded and quickly removed his hand. "Alex, you're the only one that can see me," Jamie said, reaching for his hand. "I don't want this charm changing anything between us." "It won't," he said, resisting a compelling urge to reach out and touch Jamie's tempting breasts.

So much for nudity being completely nonsexual.

* * * * * *

I have no idea why Neil added a break when it´s not even a scene transition.

"How does it feel to actually finally walk the corridors of Hogwarts nude?" Alex asked. "I know its something you've always wanted to do." "Yes, but not like this," Jamie answered disconsolately. "Although I'm nude, it looks to everyone as if I'm wearing a scandalous outfit. I'd much prefer they see me as I actually am. "Truthfully, I imagine what I really want is a Utopian dream," Jamie continued. "I'd like to live in a world where people just saw me simply as Jamie Zacherley, a world in which I wasn't judged by my clothes or lack of same or by my physical appearance, but rather only by the type of human being I am."

This mega melodramatic monologue just reeks of Ebonys "Why couldnt Satan have made me less beautiful?" speech from My Immortal. "Do you really think the world could ever evolve to the point that people would ignore nude individuals around them?" Alex asked. "No," Jamie answered honestly. "Not unless everyone suddenly started running about starkers and I doubt that is about to happen. For now I'd be happy if people would just stop equating nudity with sex."

Oh well. Alex nodded in agreement. "Oh! Alex!" Jamie cried out. "We have to help her." At first Alex had no idea what Jamie was going on about, and then he saw Nora. She was sitting on the floor in the doorway of an unused classroom. She had her knees pulled up to her chest, her cape pulled tightly around her. The girl was shaking uncontrollably as tears streamed down her face.

Yes, this is the actual first time we actually meet Nora.

While she as an alternate was present in the previous chapter, we still had virtually no introduction to her and she said nothing.

So she was essentially a non-entity.

Without thought, Alex removed his robes and draped them over the emotionally distraught girl. "I'm not allowed to cover myself," she cried, but made no movement to remove the comforting robes. "This is a lot of bull," Alex shouted, "and it's not going on for a minute longer. Jamie, I'm taking Nora to the headmaster's office. I'm going to need the rest of the team. It would help if we had the Americans' support, too. Do you think Professor Granger or Potter could get them?" "Alex, what are you going to do?" Jamie asked.

Jamie, he pretty much already stated it. "That depends on your fellow competitors," Alex answered, as without explanation he picked up Nora in his arms.

How realistic.

* * * * * *

"Professor Snape, what is so urgent that it necessitated my being dragged from my warm bed?" Rishard asked, as he entered the headmaster's office.

"I'm not quite sure myself," Snape responded, frostily. "I did not initiate this get-together; therefore I'm also extremely anxious to learn its purpose. Now that Mr. Simone has arrived, could you kindly explain why we are here Mr. Ward?"

This sounds as if canon!Snape is trying to get out of Exposed!Woobie!Snape. "Yes sir," Alex responded, "but first may I please beg your indulgence as I ask a few questions of those gathered here." "A few questions," Snape agreed, "but be quick about it. This is disrupting the school day."

Wait, they actually go to classes at Exposed!Hogwarts? "These are general questions I'd like to ask of all members of both the American and Hogwarts teams," Alex said. "Please respond by raising your hand when appropriate." "How many of you like the costumes you have been issued to wear for the competition?" Those assembled all watched apprehensively as not one hand was raised. "It doesn't matter whether or not they like the uniforms," Simone shouted huffily. "They have a magical contract."

Which works how?

Do their heads explode when they decide not to wear these costumes? "Yes, we're all well aware of that," Snape replied. "Please allow Mr. Ward to continue his questioning. I would like to see where this is all heading." "How many of you would have not even considered being a part of the competition if you had known before hand that you'd be required to wear such a revealing costume as practically your only clothing for the next eight months?" Alex asked. This time all hands went up.

THE MAIN CONFLICT OF THE FIC EVERYBODY "I'm sorry Severus, but this is a waste of my time," Rishard said haughtily. "Mr. Simone, would you rather waste a few minutes now or a few days later in court?" Alex asked. "What are you going on about boy? Rishard asked angrily. "No barrister would consider taking such a case. Magical contracts can not be broken." "You're wrong," Alex declared. "Legal magical contracts can not be broken. Each of these students is obliged to compete in your tasks, but they are not required to wear your costumes, most certainly not everyday for the next eight months." Rishard shook his head in frustration. "Okay, junior barrister, suppose you tell me just why they don't have to wear the costumes." Alex smiled. "I wanted to be sure, so I stopped and got this book from the library on my way here." He turned to page 169 Get it? and read out loud. "Magical contracts are no different than paper contracts with the exception that there is no printed copy. All the same rules apply. Both parties must be made aware of all the particulars prior to completion of the contract. Noncompliance with items not disclosed will not negate the remainder of the contract." "Very interesting, Mr. Ward," Snape said, "twenty-five points to Gryffindor. This is so in character for Snape. Oy vey. "You might want to consider a job in the legal profession. Mr. Simone, do you still feel that no barrister would consider taking this case?" "This is preposterous, he's just a boy," Simone argued. "Certainly you people can't place any merit in the dribble he's spewing. It has been the authority of the games committee to select participation uniforms for over a thousand years."

"And how long has it been policy to insist that they be worn on a daily basis for eight straight months?" Severus questioned. Rishard hemmed and hawed before saying, "That would be new policy, but it is still part of the magical contract." "Only if disclosed to the participants before they became bond," Severus declared. "I know my students were not aware of your new policy, were you?" Severus directed his eyes to the group of Americans who quickly shook their heads no. "Before returning to your classes, you might want to all slip into something more appropriate for a wizarding school," Snape announced. "You're overstepping your authority, Snape," Rishard warned in his anxious high-pitched voice.

This is the Main Villain, everyone. "I might well be," Severus said. "Sue me if you can find a barrister willing to take the case." Rishard literally shook with anger. "This doesn't change the training or actual competition," Rishard warned. "They must dress as directed for those events."

I have the feeling that if this was set in a more logical setting rather than Bizarro!Dark!Edgy!Potterverse, then I think that if the parents saw their mostly underage children wear these outfits for the events that they immediately would protest and that the events would be cancelled as a consequence to that. "If that indeed proves to be correct, they will," Severus agreed. "Humiliation is always difficult to bear, but rather five days than over two hundred." Severus turned to the assembled students. "Is there anything anyone wants to add?" "Sir, would it be all right if Jamie and I talked with all the contestants for a moment before they went about their business?" Alex asked. "Certainly," Snape said motioning to a corner of the room. Rishard watched suspiciously as everyone gathered around Jamie and Alex. Before Alex could speak, Debby threw her arms around him and kissed him soundly. "I'm sorry," she said looking first at Alex and then toward Jamie. "Brian told me that you were engaged, but I had to kiss him. You cannot imagine how good it will feel to get some clothes on and not be the center of attention for a change."

Oh well, Debby, regarding clothes, I´m afraid to tell you.... "Just don't make a habit of it," Jamie warned before giving Debby a friendly hug. I can´t help but imagine Jamie having a huge slasher smile in this scene and context. "Look, we can't talk here, too much chance of being overheard. Can everyone meet me Friday night at eight o'clock outside the entrance to the Great Hall? It's about these costumes and it's important."

* * * * * *

Cut for a boring scene about Emily and Caitlins relationship dramas, and another boring scene about prom dates.

"You can't imagine how good it feels to wear clothes again," Debby said as she and the other members of the American team approached Jamie and Alex. "I hate that ludicrous outfit. Words can never express my gratitude."

Yes, Debby, and by the end of the fic you will hate clothes alltogether. "Words will have to do," Jamie said with a warning laugh. "You've already exceeded your yearly limit of kissing Alex." Jamie looked around and counted heads. "I think that's everybody then, please follow me," she said. "Where are we going?" Dick bellowed. "And where are Thatcher and Potter?" "I don't want to talk here," Jamie answered. "Kim and Caitlin are preparing a place where we won't be disturbed." "I don't have all night to be traipsing around the castle," Dick complained. "Furthermore, what is Ward doing here? He isn't a member of either team."

Dick is only saying this because the scene needs a contrarian. "He's my boyfriend and he's How hard was it just to write "he is here"? here at my request," Jamie replied. "I might need his help to stick your head in a chamber pot if you don't shut up and stop bellyaching." Debby smiled. She definitely liked Jamie and Alex. Something about them just sparked trust. On the other hand, Bancroft had easily won her disdain.

Like other sporkers have noted in this scene, it would have been way more interesting if Debby found herself more drawn to Bancroft than the way too perfect Jamie Sue. Jamie looked about nervously as the group followed her and Alex as they made their way toward the seventh floor. "Harry offered me his map," Jamie whispered to Alex, "but I was fearful someone else might see it."

And then this is promptly forgotten about. "I don't imagine it's necessary to name names," Alex said squeezing her hand. "I'm disappointed," he moaned. "Your robes are real."

Alex, you pervert!

"Yes, but what's under them isn't. That's another reason I wanted you with me." "Why are you bringing us up to the seventh floor?" Bancroft complained. "There's nothing up here." "Do you call that nothing?" Jamie asked, as they approached a highly polished door with a brass handle. Alex seized the handle, pulled open the door, and led the way in. The room was spacious, and illuminated with flickering torches. The walls were lined with wooden bookcases containing every manner of law book imaginable. How convenient. There were also seventeen extremely comfortable chairs. "I've been on this floor numerous times before and I've never seen this room," Dick complained. "Maybe you weren't looking for it," Caitlin said with a chuckle.

OMG THIS IS SO FUNNY LOOK HOW SMART CAITLIN IS LETS ALL CLAP FOR HER "If everyone will please take a seat, I'd like to get started," Jamie said. Caitlin and Kim remained standing uneasily on either side of Jamie as the others all were seated. "Prior to you getting started, may I ask why the three of you are wearing robes inside on a Friday evening?" Jeff questioned. "What we want to talk about tonight involves a little show and tell," But mostly tell! Jamie explained. "Bear with me and you'll understand in a few minutes. "First I'd like to properly introduce Alex Ward, my wonderful boyfriend, who found the flaw in the contract that allowed us to get out of wearing those hideous costumes nearly every waking moment for the next eight months." Everyone applauded and either kissed Alex or patted him on the back. Surprisingly even Dick Bancroft shook Alex's hand and murmured what sounded like, thanks mate. "Unfortunately, thus far, Alex hasn't found any loophole that will get us out of wearing those atrocities for training or the actual contests," Jamie remarked. "I don't understand," said Nora nervously. "What is the difference?" "Tradition and over a thousand years of precedence," Jamie answered. "Having us wear his awful costumes on a daily basis was Simone's original idea. The concept was totally new to wizard competition and therefore needed to be explained in full before it could become part of the magical contract. It not only wasn't explained, but it wasn't even revealed, therefore it can't be part of the contract."

As was clearly stated earlier that day.

Why is this repeated again if we all already know? "I'm confused," Jeff admitted. "If the costumes are considered to be indecent for us to wear daily, why is it okay for us to wear them for training and in the actual events?" "You've jumped to an erroneous conclusion," Alex interjected. It´s not an interjection when he´s answering the question, Suethor! "The fact that you don't have to wear the outfits on a daily basis has nothing to do with whether they are indecent or not. You don't have to wear them because being required to do so on a daily basis was a change from tradition that was not properly explained before the magical contract was initiated." "You mean that we still have to wear them for training and the actual competition?" Nora asked, devastated. "They're still ghastly and indecent." "That, they are," Jamie agreed, "but unfortunately it has been traditional for event holders to issue uniforms for the games. It was not necessary for this to be explained to us because it has been the accepted policy since the origin of the games." "But certainly not such revealing outfits," Nora pleaded. Alex nodded his head. "I was hoping that we could use that against Rishard, but it seems history is on his side. For a period of over two hundred years, wizards and witches actually competed in the same attire as the original Muggle Olympians." "Didn't those dudes contend starkers?" Brian questioned. "Exactly," Alex answered. "I'm sure Rishard has pointed this out on numerous occasions to those opposing him." "Let me get this straight," Bancroft fumed. "We don't have to wear mini Speedos on a daily basis, but we do have to wear them for the two training sessions and the three actual events when the entire wizarding world will be watching. I was expecting good news. Why are you wasting our time if you don't have any worthwhile to tell us?" "We do have something meaningful to say," Jamie responded. "I'm sorry, I wish we had a way of getting us all out of wearing Rishard's debauched creations, but we don't. We do, however, have a way of preventing body parts from popping out while participating." Jamie removed her robes; Caitlin and Kim followed suit. Kim's face glowed a bright pink as all the competitors from both teams stared at the trio.

This is so dumb.

"The way you're staring at us now, is exactly the way the spectators will be looking at all of us during the competition," Jamie said, disgust evident in her voice. "But as provocative and revealing as these costumes might be on their own, Rishard is expecting us to deliver much more to his audience. He is counting on us to have numerous 'accidents' throughout the course of the contests."

Jamie looked pointedly at Bancroft. "And it's not just boobs that he's hoping will pop out. He wants both male and female privates on display, too." For the next few minutes, members of the American team related stories of the numerous embarrassing moments they had endured during the US competition wearing a less revealing costume than now required. After Debby finished telling the story of how she had spent ten agonizing minutes as part of a human ladder with her vagina completely exposed, everyone sat in silence for a few moments.

That does sound rather unpleasant.

But still strange how no one dared to bring this up while still in the US. Debby looked intently at Jamie, tears filling her eyes. "These contests are going to be seen world wide on wizard cam. I don't want my pussy bared to the entire wizarding world." "We have a way out," Jamie said hesitantly. "It has its draw backs, but it's better than the alternative." Jamie gave Caitlin and Kim a smile. "Are you ready?" Both girls gave Jamie a nervous smile as she began counting. First the three girls did ten toe touches. They followed this with ten sit ups, ten pushups and ten jumping jacks. To finish everything off, Caitlin did a handstand with a full split.

This whole plot is so ridicculous. Everyone watched with amazement, particularly the Americans. "How did you do that?" Brian asked, looking totally flabbergasted. "Wearing those outfits, your breasts should be exposed." He stared at the spot where Caitlin's legs met. "You don't even have a hint of a camel toe. I hate this fic. By rights you should be totally showing off." Debby and the remainder Not balance? of the American team nodded their heads in agreement. "It's impossible. How did you manage to stay in your uniforms?" Debby asked. Jamie took a deep breath. "It was easy," she said. "You see, we aren't really wearing Rishard's costumes. We are covered with a concealment charm. In reality, except for our trainers and socks, we're nude." "What do you take us for?" Bancroft yelled. "Do you actually expect us to believe that blarney?"

Why would a pureblood wizard like him be surprised over that a spell like that exists?

Oh, I forgot - this scene needs a contrarian! "In your case, I'm surprised that you've accepted the principle that the world is round," Jamie said, frustration evident in her voice. She reached out her arm. "Touch my hand." Alex cringed as Dick Bancroft reached out and touched Jamie's hand. Bancroft barely made contact when his mouth open and his chin dropped. He didn't speak, but he did seem on the verge of drooling. Jamie withdrew her hand, but Dick's eyes remained fixed on her body.

This isnt the first time where we have seen Dick gushing over Jamies oh so hot body.

Despite all these scenes, nothing ever comes of it.

Strangely enough, Jamie and Dick actually have more of a dynamic and even somewhat of a chemistry than Jamie has with Alex, who we still essentially know nothing about. "I don't understand how you can consider being nude better than wearing that depraved costume. Either way your private parts are seen," Nora pleaded. "It's extremely different," Debby said. "One way, you're exposed to the entire world. I expect that my pictures will float about on the Muggle Internet How strange how she suddenly mentions the Muggle Internet, considering that they before and after this scene keep mentioning the Wizard Net. for the rest of my life. The other way, you might be seen totally nude, but only by a few people that you intimately trust." Her eyes rested on Brian. "Jamie, would you please teach me that charm?" "I'm in too," said Brian. A couple of the other Americans also agreed, but one girl and the other three boys declined. None of the Hogwarts competitors seemed willing to take the plunge. "Why can't we wear both the costume and the charm?" Nora asked. "We thought about that but it causes numerous problems. The charm is meant to hide flesh, so parts of the real costume sometimes stick out from under the charm. Plus if the actual costume becomes out of place, which it will, there is no way to adjust it. We need to be careful that Rishard doesn't catch on to what we're doing.

I said it before, but my G-d is this plot ridicculous!

So an ancient dark lord returns from the death, and yet this is supposed to be the main conflict of the fic?! "If there are no other questions, I'm willing to show anyone that's interested how to apply the charm." After Jamie had showed the interested Americans how to use the charm, the students separated into teams so that members could become accustomed to seeing their teammates nude.

This is part of the cultish brainwashing for the wonders of naturism.

* * * * * *

Saturday, November 5, 2005 "What do you think practice will be like?" Caitlin asked Jamie as they both nervously nibbled I almost read that as Nipples! at their breakfast. "I've no idea," she said. "I'm just glad that Harry is going to coach and be present at the training sessions. That Rishard is creepy; he makes me uneasy." "I don't like him either. He's most definitely a pervert," Caitlin declared. "Although he seems more interested in watching the boys than he does the girls."

Which in Neils eyes makes him even more evil. "Yeah! His only interest in us is that we expose ourselves enough to satisfy his paying clientele," Jamie replied. "I heard that these training sessions are even open to the public. I wish Nora and the guys had decided to use the charm." "Especially Nora," Caitlin said. "She's so shy. I'm afraid she'll be a basket case before the day is over. She must be assimilated!" Jamie nodded her head in agreement. "You don't mind if I come watch the practice, do you?" Alex said placing a hand on both Jamie and Caitlin's shoulders. "I kind of want to keep an eye on Bancroft." "We'd be disappointed if you didn't come," Jamie answered candidly. "Okay, see you in a bit then," Alex said, leaning down and kissing both girls on the cheek before starting away. "Wait up," Jamie shouted. "We're done eating. You can escort us both down to the Quidditch Pitch." "Now that's an offer I can't refuse," Alex said gleefully. "It's not often I get to escort the two prettiest girls in Hogwarts." He put an arm around each girl's waist. "Do you realize how envious all the other guys are right now and they can't even see what I can?"

This is clearly Neil speaking through Alex. "Just make sure that hand stays on my waist," Jamie warned. "No grabbing a feel of my butt."

I´m surprised Jamie has any boundaries at all. Caitlin giggled. "You can squeeze mine if you want, Alex. I think it would feel neat."

-_- Jamie, Caitlin and Alex all exchanged impish looks and then burst into laughter.

* * * * * *

Cut for a boring scene with Emily and Tyler.

"Good morning," Rishard said, surveying both groups of players. "You certainly all look divine today."

He glanced at Harry and gave him a wink. "This is our first of two 'Get to Know You' sessions. To be successful in these games you must know your teammates and trust them intimately."

"What we're going to do first is a humorous little ice breaking drill using a simple little beanbag. Would both teams please form circles?"

Harry and Buddy had their teams comply, spacing the members about three meters apart in two separate circles. After the teams were positioned, Rishard handed Harry and Bud each two beanbags and instructed them to hold on to them until later. He then walked over to the team from Salem. He handed Debby a beanbag and then whispered something in her ear.

"I wonder what he told her?" Emily asked.

"I'm not sure," Tyler replied, "but I wouldn't want her looking at me like that."

Debby's face was flushed, but she was staring livid daggers at Mr. Simone.

Rishard next walked over to the Hogwarts contingent and handed a beanbag to Jamie. "My, but doesn't that costume display your attributes nicely," he whispered. "Your tits look like they're just begging to be unleashed."

This sounds like completely natural dialogue.

Jamie just glared at Rishard. She couldn't believe that he was talking to her in such an improper way.

I´m surprised that she is surprised at this point.

"I should warn you," Rishard continued, "that costume might not be able to restrain those beauties of yours, but don't worry. You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and I'm sure the sight will be greatly appreciated by all those watching."

I don´t know why, but it seems that Neil wants to show that he´s a pervert.

"Now then, each team has a beanbag," Rishard announced loudly. "Introduce yourself to your teammates. Tell something unique about yourself and then toss the bag to the player on your right. Take your time; it is more important you get to know your teammates than it is to rush."

Debby and Jamie both began to speak, but since Tyler and Emily were sitting nearer to the Hogwarts team and could hear them better; they concentrated more on their introductions.

"I'm Jamie Sue Zacherley, a seventh year Gryffindor," Jamie announced. "Most of you are probably by now aware of my uniqueness; I'm a Mary Sue naturist."

Jamie then passed the bag to Caitlin. Each player introduced him or herself and then passed the bag on until it reached Nora who was standing on Jamie's left. Nora had a difficult time reaching for the bag. Her left hand was busy covering her crotch, while she tried to cover her chest with her right arm.

"I'm Nora Jordan, vice president of the Gobstones Club," she said timidly.

No idea what that is.

Mr. Simone had been watching both groups waiting for them to complete their introductions. "Now what I want you to do is call out any teammates name and toss the beanbag to that person. Try to do it as quickly as possible, but make sure your throws are accurate. Begin!"

Nora called Jeff's name and then without moving her arm, made a pathetic one hand toss to the boy on her immediate left.

"She's going to need to loosen up," Alex said to Amanda, who was now sitting with him. "She must be assimilated!"

"That's easier said then done," Amanda answered back. "The poor girl is embarrassed to be seen in public in that outrageous getup and I don't blame her. Worse yet, she's scared stiff to move for fear of becoming even more exposed."

Alex was sympathetic to how Nora felt, but at the same time realized that her inhibition might well eventually be the downfall of the Hogwarts team.

Both teams seemed to be having fun tossing the beanbag about; only a few players had dropped it. After getting their attention, Simone gave Harry and Bud the signal and they both called a name tossing a second beanbag into the circle. After a few more minutes the third bag was added. Nora stood apprehensively; she knew sooner or later one of the bags would come in her direction. She was amazed that no one had thus far thrown to her. Obviously all her teammates, Bancroft included, had decided it was best to avoid throwing to the timorous girl.

Oh well. Seems that someone is trying to take Caitlins title of being the Queen of Angst.

Anyway, we now come to another one of the most infamous scenes of the series:

Then without warning, it happened. Three people called his name at the same time and Bancroft found three beanbags zinging his direction. He leaned to his left, stretched to the right and then jumped skyward. Unbelievably he had caught all three bags. He started to send them off in different directions when Jamie flung her arms around him and held him in a tight embrace.

"What the ...?" Dick started to say.

"Your penis decided it wanted some fresh air," Jamie quickly explained. "I'll keep you shielded while you adjust yourself."

I laughed so hard when I read that the first time.

Jamie held on just long enough for Bancroft to put things back where they belonged, and then she hurried back to her position in the circle. Dick just stared as she walked away. That had almost been worth being exposed.

Or even Overexposed.

"I hope she doesn't have to do anything like that too often during the competition," Amanda said.

"You hope!?" Alex said, his face turning a sickly green. "If she ever has to hug him again, I'm going to end up tossing my breakfast."

"That's enough," Simone said. He was still trying to act jaunty, but disappointment seemed to etch each word.

"I wonder what's wrong with him?" Tyler asked. "He seems disappointed about something."

"He is," Emily responded. "Rishard was expecting a tit show and he's not getting it. So far, at least on the Hogwarts team, Bancroft was the only one to have an accident. I know for a fact that he was hoping for Jamie to be out of her costume more than in it."

"I get it," Tyler said. "Jamie, Caitlin and Kim are wearing the charm too. That's how they are able to jump around without Overexposing themselves."

"Our next getting to know you exercise is called 'Reach Out and Hug Someone'," Simone announced.

Alex just looked at Amanda and shook his head. This wasn't his day.

One of the few times something that is meant to be funny where it actually works.

"For this exercise the groups will once again stand in circles. When your coach yells, 'go' you run across and hug someone. On each 'go' you switch partners and hug someone different until each person has hugged everybody in the group. Yes, I mean everybody," Mr. Simone emphasized as a number of hands had ventured into the air.

When Harry hollered 'go' for the first time, neither Dick Bancroft nor Nora initially moved. Nora was simply afraid to move whereas Bancroft found the whole idea of hugging extremely uncomfortable. Once everyone else had paired, with Harry's encouragement, Dick finally moved toward Nora and only just placed his arms around her.

On the first switch, Bancroft ended up with Caitlin. Caitlin hadn't seemed to mind hugging Jeff, but seemed exceedingly hesitant to put her arms around the Dick.

"I wouldn't want to hug that slime ball either," Emily said, commenting on Caitlin's lack of enthusiasm. Then she remembered that Dick was Tyler's brother. "Sorry! I'm sure he's okay once you get to know him."

Cut for more boring Emily/Tyler stuff.

As the pairings continued to change on the field, so did the arousal level of the Hogwarts male participants. Most of the boys had never experienced seeing a naked girl before the previous night, now they were in turn hugging three of them. Their swelling quickly subsided, however, when the boys began hugging each other.

So it seems none of them are gay.

Finally after the members of both teams had exchanged hugs with all their counterparts, Rishard called an end to the exercise. Although his voice still maintained a buoyant air, his face gave away his disappointment. He glanced one by one at the Hogwarts players, maintaining eye contact with the girls longer than the boys. Finally his eyes came to rest on Jamie Zacherley. The girls all looked extremely provocative, especially Jamie. The costumes left little to the imagination, but he had promised his colleagues that no imagination would be necessary. He had guaranteed accidental nudity. With the exception of Nora, the Hogwarts girls seemed to be running and jumping about without a care, yet there had been absolutely no Overexposure. Why weren't Zacherley's tits popping out?

"It looks like it is about to rain," Rishard said, glancing at the darkening skies. "This will be our last exercise of the day. Next Saturday we will concentrate on developing team trust."

Oh well.

Cut for more boring Emily/Tyler stuff.

"Harry! I'm so glad you're back!" Hermione cried, as he entered their quarters. "I was just about to send Hedwig to search you out."

Ah yeah, I totally forgot that Hedwig still is a thing here, given that this was written before the final book came and used another fanfics continuity while then using the canon that was revealed afterwards at the same time.

"What's the matter?" Harry asked, seeing grave concern etched on Hermione's face.

"I'm not sure," Hermione answered tensely. "Severus just stuck his head in the fire and asked that you and I come to his office immediately. Tonks and Kingsley Shacklebolt are on their way." Hermione bit her lips. "I don't think it's a social visit. Severus looked distraught."

Oh well.

It´s rather easy to guess what´s coming next, considering what the last chapter ended with.

End of Chapter 13

Finally.

#hogwarts exposed #harry potter #bad fanfiction #jamie zacherley #neil #caitlin garrison #hogwarts exposed sporking #emily zacherley #naturism #kim thatcher #Mary Sue #Hogwarts Overexposed #Rose Potter #Keiran Halcyon #Hermione Granger #Rishard Simone #Emma Wrong

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