#and never expect anything more from him besides him being fully and truly himself

[ja3yun]

Melting Point | P.SH | CH.9 (fin.)

brother's rival!sunghoon x fem!reader warnings: angst(ish), fluff, smut (mdni), masturbation (m.), confrontation, not many warning this chapter since it's the finale, anything i missed lmk! ch. 9 synopsis: nationals are underway and everything hangs in the balance for you as you watch sunghoon and minhee compete. just before the competition, sunghoon gets an unexpected visitor and makes some life decisions. wc: 15.1k previous | masterlist a/n: hi! i can't believe this is the end. i genuinely will never be able to thank each one of you for the love you have given this series. honestly, i didn't expect this series to do that well considering it's a hefty amount, but all of you have been so lovely and supportive! i hope this ending does melting point justice and ties everything up for you all. i will miss mp fridays and ynhoon more than anything but it just means i can work on something new <3 ilysm and thank you again!

Sunghoon’s alarm blares from the hotel’s bedside table, startling him from his peaceful sleep. He tries to twist and turn off the annoying noise but your grip on him stops his movements, your head burying itself into his chest as you stir, your legs tightening around his as a sleep-induced protest to have him stay beside you.

Smiling down at you, he gently pushes you from his body, careful not to fully wake you while he turns off the alarm from his phone. Luckily, you’re so exhausted from the night before’s activities that you simply roll to your side and sink further into the fluffy pillow.

The time on Sunghoon’s phone reads 6am, a horribly early start for such a long day. He digs the soles of his palms into his eyes trying to rid any sleepiness from them in an attempt to wake up. Knowing he has to get prepared for today, he begrudgingly flicks the covers off of his body and sits up at the edge of the bed.

He turns to face you, happily pouting at your sleeping figure. Right now, Sunghoon is the most content he has ever been before a competition and it was all thanks to you. Last night, relaxing with you and Minhee watching TV, fucking you into the morning, and cradling you in his arms as you softly snored on his chest, it was all so perfect. Finally, he felt like his life had some form of normality to it; he felt the same way last night as he used to when his dad took him for food at that cafe you’ve grown to love so much. He’s finally found happiness like he only dreamed of.

Placing the covers back over you as he stands up, Sunghoon quickly makes his way to the bathroom, careful not to trip over the mess on the floor; there is something about hotel rooms that just makes him a slob, the entire place covered in his stuff which could easily be put away.

The bathroom light flickers as he presses the switch, the white light a little too bright for his liking but he has to make do. Inspecting his face in the mirror, he sees a light in his eyes that flashes back to him, a testament to his happiness. If this was a typical competition morning, he would be stressed, the weight of perfection placed on his shoulders by his mother the only thing he truly felt. The constant need to impress and be the best at what he does drained him more than he realised, until you came along he would grit and bear it, trying to keep everyone happy.

But you, you made him realise that you will always be proud of him as long as he does his best and is happy with himself; a desperate structure he needed in his life.

Grinning from ear to ear, he turns on the shower and waits for the water to heat up, using his hand as an indicator. He strips off his boxers and steps in carefully - the last time he brazenly walked into a hotel shower he nearly fell ass first, legs flailing to keep him up right and that is the last thing he needs to happen. 

The water is perfect as it cascades over his body, each droplet trickles down his form like a mini blanket, hugging him with warmth. He doesn’t mind winter much, being born in December and all, but he does dislike the coldness. Irony isn’t lost on him, he understands that his whole life has been around a freezing cold ice rink, yet recently, he has been finding it more and more difficult to withstand the cold air.

Probably because he was so accustomed to your warmth now.

For some reason today, more than most days, he can’t shake his mind off you; probably because there is so much at stake today and you’re the only thing that calms down his anxious mind.

After Minhee explained about your mother and her gambling, he knew from then that he had to shield you from it all. He wants to respect your wishes and perform to his best ability, but the nagging part of his heart that lives to protect you is telling him to disobey your request, to just lose the competition on purpose anyway.

Minhee is good, spectacular even, Sunghoon can’t and won’t deny that, but is he really first-place ready? This all must be gnawing at your brother, swaying his head and making him lose focus, Sunghoon knows it would do that to him. And who is to say another figure skater won’t be better than both of them? Was the bet just for Minhee to win over Sunghoon in points or the whole competition? He wishes he got some clarity on that as he ponders all the possible outcomes of today.

All he has to do is lose to Minhee, that’s the safest option. 

Squirting some of the hotel soap onto his hands, he glides them all over his torso and chest, rubbing in the suds to wash him clean. Selfishly, he wants to wake you up and have you wash him as you have done so many times before; your nimble hands trailing over his v-line and his toned stomach, always resulting in your back against the tiles while he fucks into you, serving to create a vicious cycle of cleaning one another of your sex only to dirty yourselves up again. The recollection of your soaped-up tits only adds to his yearning for you, but you are so exhausted from yesterday that he needs to leave you be, settling for his memories and hand.

His hand falls to his semi-hard cock as he turns his body to face the showerhead, stroking his shaft a few times, using the pressure from the water to add another layer of pleasure. 

Tipping his head back, he opens his mouth as he squeezes his length at the base before pumping a little more determinedly. He knows he doesn’t have lots of time but he can’t help himself, every thought of you bouncing on his cock and the primal moans that escape your mouth every time he hits that sweet spot inside you. 

Biting his lip, he jerks himself off faster, trying to keep quiet but the feeling is too good, he can’t help but speak to himself as he imagines you in here with him, “Shit, Y/N, so fucking good,” he whispers, the base in his voice being lost behind the hum of the shower.

He angles his cock perfectly so some of the water stream hits directly onto his slit, giving him the same sensation as when the tip of your tongue swirls around his head, dipping into him as you stare into his eyes.

“Jesus Christ,” Sunghoon breathes out, placing his spare hand on the wall to steady himself as he thrusts harder into his hand, searching for a quick release. 

Since you came into his life he has started to question how he ever got off without at least the thought of you. The way you touch him, the way you make him feel, it’s like nothing he has ever known before. He hasn’tt tell you that when you rode him in his car for the first time that he genuinely wondered if he had even had sex before you, the way your walls gripped at his cock suddenly made him forget every person he had ever been with.

All he remembers is you.

When he nearly lost you because of your mum, he didn’t know what to do. Of course, he was mad about the skate and that you lied, but without you there with him, even for a few days, it was enough for him to lose any sense of being; it was as if all his limbs had been torn away from his body. Since the day you came home to him, he vowed never to let you go, and he won’t.

Quickening the pace, Sunghoon is close to the edge, ready to spill his seed down the shower drain. His wet chest heaves up and down as his balls shiver with the ache of release, “Y/N, just like that, baby. So fucking good,” he moans, hoping his voice doesn’t carry into the hotel bedroom. 

His wrist works harder as he inhales through gritted teeth, his brain running through every orgasm you’ve ever had so that he can feel like he’s cumming with you.

“Shit, shit,” he groans, the first spurts of his cum shooting against the wall, some already being rinsed down the drain. He chants your name a few times, muttering how much he loves you under his breath as he slowly comes down from his climax.

If only it was you he was cumming inside, painting your walls white. 

Shaking his head, he rids himself of any more dirty thoughts of you, scared he might have to spend another 10 minutes under the water. Turning the faucet, he changes the water to a cooler temperature while he tries to calm the thumping in his chest and the throbbing in his cock. 

Once he is done with the competition, he’s going to take you over and over on the bed, cumming as many times as possible, whether inside you, on you, or wherever his desire leads.

Sunghoon turns the shower off, cleans the remnants of his mess, and steps out, wrapping a towel around his slim waist, the imprint of his now softening cock still pressed against it. You would drool if you saw him like this, you always had a thing for your boyfriend when he came straight out of a shower. There is something about the way his body glistens and how his hair sticks to his face that just turns you on. Perhaps it’s because it’s akin to how he looks after hours of fucking you silly.

After completing his skincare routine and brushing his teeth, he saunters back into the room where you are still sound asleep. He breathes a sigh of relief that he didn’t wake you despite his constant mewling of your name. 

Dropping the towel next to his suitcase, he rummages for his usual training gear before slipping into it with ease, each movement he makes is calculated, being careful not to reach a high decibel and wake you. He gathers his competition essentials such as costume, skates, and makeup, slowly zipping his bag once he has double and triple-checked it.

He steals a glance at you before tip-toeing over to your side of the bed. His hand reaches to pet your hair gently, framing it around your face to rid it from your eyes. With a soft kiss on your forehead, he smiles fondly, “I love you, baby.” His words fall on sleeping ears but he says them anyway, hoping they somehow wiggle their way into the peaceful dream you’re having.

Sunghoon heads out of the hotel room, picking up his key from the door and shutting it softly behind him. Just as the door clicks, he hears the same noise from up the hallway. He turns his head to see Minhee coming from your room, hair wet and a singular star pimple patch on his chin; the same brand you buy for yourself. 

Now that he’s looking at your brother, he really studies how similar you both are; same nose, same posture, and even your walk is the same. 

Minhee approaches Sunghoon with a timid wave and adjusts the gym bag securely onto his shoulder, “Hey, I’m guessing she’s in there?” he asks, already knowing the answer.

“Yeah,” Sunghoon nods, still whispering out of habit from this morning, “We…you were snoring so loud last night, Y/N couldn’t sleep,” he offers as an excuse as to why Minhee woke up alone this morning. 

It’s a pathetic excuse but Sunghoon couldn’t in his right mind tell him that they left to go back to his room and fuck because Sunghoon was way too horny to keep it in his pants. Some boundaries just cannot be crossed, plus, does any brother want to know that only a few doors down their sister was getting pounded into oblivion? The answer to that is always no.

Minhee holds his hand up in front of Sunghoon, “Mate, shut up, we’re both 20 and I’m not an idiot,” his face turns to disgust despite trying to come across as mature. A shiver runs down his spine at the conversation, not wanting to progress it any further.

Fortunately for him, neither does Sunghoon, “Are you ready for today?” he asks as they walk together to the lift. 

Taking a deep breath in contemplation, Minhee finally nods, “Yeah, I think so,” he pauses, pushing the elevator button. He is nervous, this grand plan of his only working if he does his absolute best with no mistakes; all he has to do is perform with the same tenacity as the run-through. He turns to his competitor and braces a smile, “Hey, thanks for doing this, Sunghoon. I know after everything that’s happened between us I shouldn’t be asking you to do me a favour like this,” he says sheepishly.

It was a lot to ask of his then-rival, to be so bold and ask Sunghoon to throw a first place just to save Minhee’s ass after he nearly destroyed his career, no one in their right mind should have agreed. But Sunghoon, despite everything, was as understanding as ever. 

Your brother wasn’t accustomed to Sunghoon’s caring nature, Minhee’s impression of him up until this point was his enemy and what the media perceived him as, not the Sunghoon you knew, so when Sunghoon agreed, albeit a tad apprehensive, he was taken aback.

“I’ll do anything for her,” Sunghoon states clearly, his voice firm with determination, “And you, man. I can’t imagine what your mum has put you through up until now,” he admits. It was true that he was willing to do literally anything for you, but it was also true that he wanted to do this for Minhee as well. The more Sunghoon thought about it, it wasn’t Minhee’s fault for all this drama, it was all your mum’s fault. He couldn’t keep a grudge against someone who was only trying to protect their sister; if it was him, he would have done the same.

Minhee flashes a smile and light-heartedly punches Sunghoon’s shoulder, “Getting all gushy over me now, huh, Park?” he chuckles as the boy in front of him rolls his eyes in fake annoyance. Turning slightly serious, Minhee continues, “Y/N is my first priority in this world and to be honest, I didn’t care about winning until all this mess,” he confesses, a hint of anger pointed towards your mother in his voice.

“She’s mine too, Minhee. Just do your best out there and we’ll figure out the rest. I got you, man,” he smiles once again, hoping his sincerity comes through in his words. The lift bell dings as it arrives at their floor, and both skaters descend down to the lobby, on their way to the practice rink. 

As they make their way across the street to the ice rink, the reporters are back on their case, shouting useless questions with zero substance. Sunghoon places an arm over Minhee’s shoulder, his lips against his ear, “Wanna hold hands? Really give them something to talk about?” he laughs, pulling him in tighter to his side. 

The flashes go rapid at the gesture, “I don’t think we need to, Sunghoon. I think they might have already married us off,” Minhee says as his eyes focus on crossing the road, being the eyes for both of them as Sunghoon plays up to the camera.

“C’mon then, baby, we don’t want to be late for our warm-up.” Both of them laugh loudly, as they walk into the arena, ready to finally take to the ice.

______

The practice rink buzzes with anticipation as aspiring champions gather, each determined to claim National Gold. The distinct scent of ice and rubber immediately greets Minhee and Sunghoon as they step inside, a familiar aroma that stirs memories of countless hours spent honing their skills on the ice.

All eyes are on them, curiously following their every move. Unaffected by the attention, Minhee and Sunghoon enter together while exhibiting camaraderie and confidence. They chuckle lightheartedly at the hubbub outside, their laid-back demeanour in sharp contrast to the intensity of the upcoming competition. 

Wonyoung waves at both of them as she skates around the rink, happy that her Belmore buddies are finally there to join her. 

With Minhee spending a lot of time at the rink, he and Wonyoung have secretly become vast friends, even going as far as to help one another out when they cross paths. Your brother didn’t have many friends on the ice, the nature of the competition is a lonely one, so it was refreshing to get close to a fellow figure skater. And one as pretty as Wonyoung was simply a bonus.

As Minhee waves back eagerly, Sunghoon raises his eyebrow sceptically, “You’re cheating on me already? Did our 5-second wedding outside mean nothing to you?” he jibs at him, nudging his ‘lover’ with his shoulder.

“What are you talking about?” Minhee asks, never taking his eyes off Wonyoung.

“You’ve got a thing for Wonnie,” he says as a statement rather than a query, already certain of Minhee’s feelings towards the female skater.

Minhee snaps his face to meet Sunghoon’s gaze, “She lets you call her that?” his face shines a brighter shade of red as he realises what he just said, “I mean no. We’re friends, nothing more.” Despite Minhee’s protests, Sunghoon doesn’t buy it, only wishing to poke fun at him further.

“Hey, no judgment here, she’s pretty,” he places a hand on his new friend’s shoulder, “Y’know, she’s single, right? She broke up with that Ricky kid a few months ago,” he informs him.

Minhee nods sadly, “Yeah, she said in passing that she wasn’t getting involved with another figure skater.” 

Wonyoung and Ricky lasted a whole 4 months before calling it quits, not exactly heartbreak material, but enough for her to swear off any man that adorns a skate, at least for the time being.

Noticing Minhee’s slumped body language, Sunghoon tries his best to give him some encouragement, “True, but you have one thing that he doesn’t,” he says, dancing his bushy eyebrows up and down.

Minhee tilts his head, “What?”

“You’re older and you’re about to be a Nationals Champion. I’d say that’s pretty hot, hmm? I mean look at me,” he gestures to himself smugly, “That’s how I got your sister.”

“Mate, don’t compare Wonyoung to my sister, you’re making this weird,” he cringes at the thought.

As they both watch Wonyoung practice her toe loops, Minhee spots someone at the corner of his eye, dragging his attention away from his not-so-secret-and-completley-obvious-crush, to the woman walking towards them.

Minhee elbows Sunghoon to grab his attention, eyes pointed towards Mrs. Park as she approaches them both, face void of any emotion.

Sunghoon’s whole body freezes, the last person he expected to see today was his mother; she hasn’t bothered to contact him since their big argument. 

The thing is, Sunghoon had debated whether to reach out and try and fix the relationship they had, knowing that his dad would be so mad if he didn’t at least attempt to mend things with her. But it also wasn’t solely his responsibility, she could have texted him or showed up to one of his scheduled practices, he knows she still gets the notifications in her calendar.

Despite not knowing what transpired between the Parks, Minhee knows he needs to make himself scarce, “I’ll see you out there, yeah?” he faces Sunghoon whose sole attention is on his mum as she stands in front of him.

“Yeah, I’ll be on the ice in a minute. Grab me a rack?” still, Sunghoon’s eyes never leave his mother even as he speaks to Minhee. 

The other boy pats his back as he goes to the changing rooms, leaving the pair to have what can only be described as a staring contest.

“Why are you here?” Sunghoon asks, tone laced with agitation and defiance. He couldn’t be civil to her, not when she insulted and belittled you so easily. Although her suspicions of foul play were correct, she blamed you without knowing anything or gathering any evidence against you. He can’t stand for it, not then and not now. 

And then there were her careless words about his deceased father, words that still reverberated in Sunghoon's mind. The idea that his own father would be ashamed of him was a wound that cut deeper than any other, a wound he was still grappling to heal. 

“I came to wish you luck,” she states, voice as monotonous as ever.

Her son crosses his arms, body language standoffish as he goes to speak, “I don’t need your luck. I don’t need your guidance or anything. I fired you, or was that not clear?” he hisses.

“You can’t fire me from being your mother. I still care about you,” she retorts. There is only a hint of emotion in her voice, otherwise, Sunhgoon is looking at his typical stoic mother. If he is to believe anything she says right now, she would need to show some form of depth.

Sunghoon sucks his teeth, “I have a new family now, I really don’t need you,” he states calmly despite the bubbling anger that is rising from his chest. He saw you, and now Minhee, as his found family, people he can rely on and trust without question which is more than he can say about the woman standing a mere 50cm away from him. 

Since she has been out of his life, he has felt so free of most negative emotions. The mini panic attack he had the day he kicked her out of the house was enough for him to step back and re-evaluate their relationship. No one in the world should make anyone feel as little as she made him feel that day, so he vowed never to let anyone do that to him again.

“I can’t make you forgive me for how I’ve acted over the years, I don’t expect you to, but I would like to make peace,” she confesses.

Confused, Sunghoon leans back, his arms loosening from their knot slightly, “You had weeks to do that, why pick today of all days?”

Sunghoon’s mother shifts uncomfortably, a sense of awkwardness lingering in the air as she chooses an arguably inappropriate moment to broach the sensitive topic, "Sunghoon, I only want what is best for you," she begins tentatively, her voice tinged with a hint of regret, "And I know it may not seem like it, but I do care about you. Your father was the one with a paternal instinct; what I lacked in love, he made up for."

Her words hang heavy in the air, prompting Sunghoon to pause and reflect. It's a rare occurrence for his mother to admit fault or express any form of emotional vulnerability, leaving him at a loss for how to respond, this was all new to him, a road he didn’t know how to navigate.

“When your father died, I was left to shoulder the weight of showing you love when I couldn’t find it in myself to love you the way you deserved. It sounds cold and I can only apologise for feeling this way, but I think explaining this to you will make you hate me less, maybe even forgive me.”

"So that's it then?" he burst out, his voice edged with bitterness, "You're telling me you never loved me? That showing me any form of love was a burden? And you expect me to hate you less? You’ve got some nerve.”  It’s amazing to Sunghoon how she can stand there and say this to her own son, asking for him to forgive her. His anger simmered, a storm raging within him as he struggled to comprehend his mother's words.

“It’s not that I don’t love you it’s just-”

“You are my mother, you’re supposed to love your child unconditionally, no excuses,” Sunghoon's voice pierced the thick air, full of despair and rage. Every fibre of his being shouted for justice, for the love he had sought but never got.

However, as he locked eyes with his mother, a harsh realisation came over him like a tsunami smashing on the coast. He realised with terrible clarity that demanding empathy from someone who lacked the ability to care was a lost cause.

In this moment, a profound shift occurred within Sunghoon. It was a silent acknowledgement, a decision made in the depths of his soul. He refused to play the endless game of seeking validation from someone incapable of offering it. He refused to subject himself to further anguish in a cycle destined for disappointment.

"I'm done," he declared softly, his words carrying the weight of finality, “I have never been happier with you out of my life. I have people who love me, I don’t need you anymore, these past few weeks have shown me that.”

His mother looks aghast at her son’s statement, feeling her own sense of betrayal right now. She had come here looking for reconciliation but instead, she only got kicked to the curb once again. The damage of the past had already been done. 

“Sunghoon, please don’t shut me out. I’m trying to learn to be the mother you deserve,” she pleads with him, mustering up any way to make him forgive her.

He watches as her face washes over with something he had never seen before, sorrow perhaps. It twinges his heart to see anyone upset, but she can’t scribble out the past with one sign of regret. If she had approached this conversation differently, he may have seen eye to eye with her but saying she found it hard to love him wasn’t the best way to broach the subject of redemption.

It’s not in Sunghoon’s nature not to be a little understanding, he does know that some people lack the emotional intelligence to form loving relationships. But that isn’t the type of person he needs in his life right now, not in his formative years. He needs more people like you, people who love him and make it look easy, not burdensome.

Stepping closer to her, he gives her one more look over, “When I have kids, I will give them all the love you should have given me,�� he spits at her, yet his heart is heavy with the realisation that he has lost both his parents.

“Wait!” she shouts, holding onto his arm.

Sunghoon's muscles tensed as his mother's grip tightened on his arm, her desperation palpable. He hesitated, torn between the desire to break free from her grasp and the lingering flicker of compassion within him.

"What?" he demanded, his voice tinged with frustration and exhaustion, "What more could you possibly have to say?"

His mother's gaze wavered, a mix of remorse and longing clouding her features. "I know I've failed you, Sunghoon," she whispered, her voice finally trembling with emotion, "But please, give me a chance to make things right. I may not have been the mother you needed, but I want to try. I want to be there for you, to support you in any way I can. I’m working on myself, please believe me."

As Sunghoon grappled with the weight of his mother's plea, a tumultuous storm raged within him. Each word she uttered clawed at his resolve, tugging at the fragile threads of forgiveness he dared to entertain.

He met her gaze, searching for any hint of sincerity amidst the tangled web of emotions. And as he looked into her eyes, he saw a vulnerability he had never witnessed before - a vulnerability that mirrored his own.

With a heavy sigh, Sunghoon gently removed his mother's hand from his arm. "I need time," he said softly, his voice laced with uncertainty. He didn’t know if this was the right choice, to at least not burn the bridge to his mother completely, but as he looked at her now, he felt his dad in his ear, begging him to at least consider mending the relationship.

Was there a chance for redemption, for reconciliation, buried beneath the layers of hurt and resentment? Or was this merely another chapter in their tumultuous relationship, destined to end in further heartache and disappointment? Sunghoon isn’t sure, but he’ll try.

With a heavy heart, Sunghoon stamps down his decision - one born from a fragile balance of trepidation and tentative optimism, "I need to think about this, all of it. I have people to consider, including myself, before I can even entertain the idea of letting you back into my life." he confessed, his voice trembling.

Sunghoon's mother nodded, her eyes shimmering with gratitude and a glimmer of hope. "I understand," she whispered, her voice barely above a breath, "Take all the time you need. I'll be here, waiting. Good luck today."

His mother gives him one final nod before retreating, leaving Sunghoon with his decision. He sits with the echoes of his mother's plea - a silent promise to confront the demons of their past and forge a new path forward, one step at a time. And though the journey would be fraught with obstacles, he clung to the belief that amidst the pain and turmoil, there lay the possibility of redemption - a chance to rewrite the story of their fractured relationship and embrace forgiveness. 

It was either the most foolish thing he had ever done or the start of his healing journey. 

Making his way to the locker room, he sees Minhee lacing up his skates, weaving the strings around each of the eyelets. Sunghoon takes the moment to look at him and wonder how Minhee feels about his own damaged relationship with his mum. Was it as conflicting for him or was the decision to rid his mother from your family easy?

Sunghoon sits down on the saved seat next to Minhee, leaning back against the wall, his head thumping.

“You okay?” Minhee asks tentatively, not wanting to poke the bear.

“Yeah,” Sunghoon opens his eyes to gaze at Minhee, “Can I ask you something?” Nodding, Minhee sits up straight, awaiting the impending question, “Your mum, was it easy to, like, disown her?” It’s a strange question to ask someone but he hopes that Minhee’s answer will give him some clarity into his own situation. 

Minhee ponders, never having really thought about it before, “I think it was, I mean, she put Y/N in danger, treated us both like shit, and blamed me for a lot of things that I didn’t have any control over. Emotionally, I think me and Y/N were both detached from her, which made it easy.”

Sitting with Minhee’s words, Sunghoon realises that the reason he finds it so hard to let go of the relationship with his mum is because he does care about her. She was cold and cruel, but never harmed him in any way. Her actions weren’t one of a mother but in comparison to you and Minhee’s mum, she was at least a smidge better. 

Each mother strives for her kid to succeed, but the stark contrast resides in the motives driving their acts. While Sunghoon's mother pushed him to achieve out of a genuine desire for his success, Minhee's mother's obsession with propelling him to the top sprang from her own selfish gain.

Watching Sunghoon wrestle with his inner turmoil, Minhee places a comforting hand on his shoulder, "I may not fully understand what's happening between you and your mum, but from one disappointing son to another," he says with a soft smile, attempting to lighten the heavy atmosphere, “If there is a chance to fix your relationship, take it. As much as I’m happy my bitch of a mother won’t be in my life anymore, it doesn’t mean I don’t wish things were different. If you and your mum can sort it out, do it.” 

Minhee’s speech is comforting, freeing Sunghoon of some of the tension in his body regarding the situation with his mother. It’s always a risk to forgive someone or give them a second chance, but it can also lead to stronger relationships.

In this moment, Sunghoon can at least say his mother is willing to try and redeem herself, unlike some mums in the world. It’s the bare minimum, but it’s a start.

"Thanks, Minhee," Sunghoon says, offering a grateful smile, "Do we kiss now, or?"

Minhee lets out a snort of laughter, playfully pushing his friend away. "Save those lips for the other Kang sibling, please," he teases, rising to his feet and balancing on his skates. "Although if you ever get bored of her…"

With an exaggerated wink, Minhee saunters out of the locker room, leaving Sunghoon feeling lighter and more at ease. This was exactly the conversation Sunghoon needed, Minhee was the unexpected friend he needed. 

_____

You exchange the biting chill of the winter for the bustling ice rink as you step inside the venue. The vibrant atmosphere envelops you like a warm embrace. Excitement crackles in the air, mingling with the sounds of blades slicing through the ice and the chatter of eager spectators. With Nationals in full swing, anticipation pulses through the crowd as they await the next performances.

You arrived early to ensure you caught Minhee before his turn on the ice. As the women's event concludes, leaving only three skaters left, the arena buzzes with energy

Navigating through the throngs of people, your eyes scan the crowded rink for any sign of your brother. The busy venue makes it tough to find him, and you don’t even know what he is wearing. To be fair, he probably wouldn’t be out in the open arena, but rather residing backstage as he awaits the start of the men’s competition.

You walk up to one of the event staff and ask if you can go backstage to see Minhee, but of course, he doesn’t let you, “Sorry, Miss. Only skaters and coaches are allowed back there,” he says sternly. At least he’s doing his job, you suppose.

"Luckily for her, she's with me, right, Y/N?" Coach Kim's smile is infectious, and you nod eagerly, grateful for his timely intervention.

"Yes, that's right," you chime in, your mind racing to concoct a plausible explanation. "I'm a... a meditator! Yes, a meditator. I help the competitors find their zen before going on stage." You realise your impromptu lie sounds feeble, but you press on, hoping to convince the staff member.

The staff eyes you both sceptically, his scrutiny unnerving, "Then why do you have a family badge?" he questions, his tone heavy with suspicion.

Feeling the weight of his scrutiny, you look to Coach Kim for support, silently pleading for assistance in salvaging the situation.

Coach Kim steps in smoothly, his easy smile never faltering, "Ah, you see, Y/N is an important member of our team so she is practically family. Her position as a meditator is critical to my skater’s performance. She calms and focuses him before he goes out to the rink."

You give Coach Kim an appreciative look, quietly thanking him for his fast thinking. The staff member appears to examine his thoughts for a time before nodding in agreement.

"Alright then, you can go through," the staff member concedes, standing aside to allow you and Coach Kim access to the backstage area.

You walk beside Coach Kim, thanking him over and over again for getting you in. You didn’t just want to see Minhee to wish him luck, you had a surprise for him and Sunghoon, “You’re the best coach, has anyone told you that?” you beam at him.

Laughing, he nods, “A few times, yes, usually you or Minhee when you both want something,” Coach Kim points in front of you, “He’s in there.”

“Thanks, Coach!” you go to wave him off but he stops you in your tracks by gently grabbing your shoulder.

“Y/N, Minhee told me about your mum,” he sighs, troubled by the information. Surely Minhee didn’t tell him about the gambling or the skate incident, so what could he possibly know? “I’ll be candid when I say that I never enjoyed your mum’s company, not for my sake, but for yours and Minhee’s. Her deciding to leave you both high and dry like this is unforgivable,” his voice laces with disgust.

Coach Kim obviously only knows a twisted version of the events that went down recently, Minhee clearly careful with his phrasing. 

“I just want to say, if you both ever need anything at all, a place to live, some extra work, a homecooked meal, whatever it is, you come and find me, okay?” His offer is generous.

To be honest, you hadn’t thought about the repercussions of your mother no longer being by your side. Where would you and Minhee live now? How would you manage to make ends meet without her support? The questions swirl around in your mind, each one more daunting than the last.

“You and Minhee, you’re both strong kids. I have faith that everything will work out for you, so don’t think too much about it. Just enjoy today,” he says as if reading your anxious mind. 

Coach Kim's reassurance offers a glimmer of hope amidst the uncertainty. His belief in your strength and resilience reminds you that you're not alone in this, that there are people who care about your well-being and are willing to help you navigate the challenges ahead.

With a final ruffle in your hair, Coach Kim leaves you in the corridor, his words of encouragement resonating in your ears. It was nice to have his support, it makes you feel like maybe you and Minhee had a support system all along, all you had to do was shed your poison of a mother.

Your feet carry you to the door to the locker room, chapping it rapidly. You can’t wait to see him and wish him luck. Although your apprehension weighs strongly regarding the skate and how important it is for him to win, not just for his pride but also for your safety and future.

You haven’t had a lot of time to come to terms with how much trouble you could be in if your brother loses this competition; the foolish bets your mum has made in your name, taking money from some shady guys to make them, and how you’re somehow on the firing line in this situation - it’s a lot to deal with mentally.

Telling Sunghoon to just skate to the best of his abilities wasn’t because you aren’t scared of what could happen, you just wanted Minhee to know that he can win this on his own, no cheating, no Sunghoon letting him win, absolutely no interferences. After everything that has transpired with your mum, he needed this.

Of course, you need to be safe, if these bets fall short and you’re left with the debt, you can say goodbye to university and any of your tiny savings. If the men are as brute as Minhee made them out to be, you’re fucked with no way out of it.

Curiosity got the better of you this morning and you checked the odds for Minhee winning this competition which was 15:1. According to Minhee, she put on £50,000 which would mean she would get 750k. It’s more money than you could imagine having in your entire life and it makes you angry that not only has your mum put you in danger but that you wouldn’t see a penny of it.

The money isn’t important to you but the fact that she was essentially putting money above her own daughter's safety is a crazy, rage-inducing thought that you don’t think you will ever get over. How could you? And to make Minhee feel like he couldn’t win on his abilities alone? She has destroyed both of your self-worth and confidence over the years.

So today, your sole focus is on being there for Minhee, rooting for him and believing in his ability to shine as the extraordinary skater you know him to be. 

As you knock again, you hear rustling around as someone comes to answer the door. The metal swings open to reveal your boyfriend, hair dishevelled as if he’s just combed his fingers through it and his costume twisted.

“Baby, what are you doing here?” he asks, poking his head out the door to check if anyone saw you coming backstage. Quickly, he pulls you in, “How did you sneak past?”

Your eyes swiftly trace the room to see the skaters all getting ready, some in just their boxers and others applying the last sparkles of their body mist. One guy is strutting around with tighty whities, leaving nothing to the imagination.

Sunghoon notices your eyes stuck to something before swivelling his head to catch sight of the well-endowed man, “Sweets don’t make me knock fuck out of every guy in this room,” he warns as one of his hands pinches your chin to drag your eyes away from the half-naked men and focus on him.

Honestly, the tint of jealousy etching onto his face is so hot, you wonder if you should start oggling at others more often. Sunghoon raises his brows, waiting for you to explain, “Sorry, Hoonie. I’ve never seen so many guys in their underwear before,” you try to use it as an excuse, as if the unfamiliar sight warrants your interest but Sunghoon isn’t buying it.

“It will be the last time you see it, I can promise you that,” he scoffs, taking your hand and pulling you towards the back of the room, clear out of everyone’s line of sight, or more, everyone out of your sight.

He places you so your back is against the sea of skaters, “So what are you doing here?” he asks again, this time a little more playfully, “Want a quickie before I go on?” he leans down to your lips, kissing you softly, “I can bend you over and show all these losers who you belong to.”

Shivers run across your spine as he kisses you, his tongue sweeping into your mouth. Someone walks by behind you and Sunghoon pulls you closer to him, eyeing the boy as he devours you in front of him.

Sunghoon was only half joking about fucking you in the middle of the locker room for everyone to see. He wanted everyone to know you were his and only his and no one should even look at you for longer than a second. If anyone dares to stare too long, he’ll make sure they can’t ever look at anything again through the black eyes and blood.

You give into his kiss and press your body against his, your tongues licking one another as you moan into his mouth.

“You’re both disgusting. Are you seriously going to fuck in a locker room with loads of people around?” Minhee comes up behind you, arms crossed as you and Sunghoon separate your bodies from one another.

"Wouldn't be the first time," Sunghoon murmurs into your ear, his lips brushing against your lobe as he reminisces about the countless intimate moments you've shared in Belmore. Suppressing a laugh, you feel a playful squeeze on your ass from Sunghoon, much to your brother's chagrin.

Minhee recoils, his expression contorted in disgust, "Guys, I might vomit if you keep grinding on each other while I'm right here," he pleads, his voice tinged with both embarrassment and humour.

With an affectionate eye-roll, you approach Minhee and envelop him in a tight hug, "Sorry, we forgot that displaying affection around you is considered a crime," you quip, injecting a touch of playful banter into the moment.

Minhee feigns annoyance, but you can see a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips, "I have a weak stomach," he retorts, trying to maintain his composure despite the teasing. As he lets go of your embrace, he notices something Sunghoon failed to, “What’s that?”

He points to the rolled-up A3 piece of card in your left hand. Through Sunghoon’s displays of affection, it’s slightly bashed at the edges but no real damage has been done.

“Oh! I made you both something,” you scurry around, pushing Minhee to stand next to Sunghoon as you unravel the white card, “Ta-da!”

While they were gone this morning, you took it upon yourself to make a sign. Typically, you always make a sign for Minhee at each competition, so the gesture is nothing new, however, this time, you had two people to support.

Sunghoon and Minhee both resemble puppies as they tilt their head in curiosity, reading the sign.

“Minhoon?” your brother reads out, “Is that…”

“It’s both your names merged! I thought it would be fun to support my two boys together this time,” you smile widely, holding your artwork proudly.

The sign took you approximately an hour and a half to complete, ensuring that each of their personalities was represented perfectly. On Minhee's side, you incorporated his favourite colour combination of black and blue, adorned with stickers of stars, Pochacco, and dainty white bows. This aesthetic is quintessentially Minhee, and he adores it, especially because you add a star for every gold he's earned.

On Sunghoon's side, you opted for a sleek white and black backdrop, accentuated with pink hearts to symbolise the number of months you've been together. To complete the symmetry, you included two little pictures of Tuxedosam, perfectly mirroring each side of the sign.

As you step back to admire your handiwork, you can't help but feel a sense of satisfaction knowing that you've captured the essence of both Minhee and Sunghoon in this thoughtful gesture.

Minhee and Sunghoon exchange a glance before erupting into laughter, the absurdity of the earlier debacle and their playful charade of a secret love affair only amplifying the hilarity of the situation.

However, your heart sinks as you mistake their laughter for mockery. A small pout forms on your lips as you gaze at them, hurt evident in your eyes. "Is it not good?" you ask, your voice tinged with disappointment.

Instantly, Sunghoon and Minhee's laughter fades, replaced by a solemn expression as they see the hurt reflected in your eyes. Without hesitation, Minhee reaches out, his voice gentle as he reassures you, "No, no, Bubs, we love it, don't we, Sunghoon?" He looks to his friend, who nods earnestly in agreement. "See? We were just laughing about something else earlier," Minhee explains softly, wrapping an arm around you for comfort.

Feeling reassured by Minhee's words and his comforting embrace, you let out a relieved sigh, the tension easing from your shoulders. "Oh," you say, a small smile returning to your lips as you realise your misunderstanding. "Well, as long as you both like it, that's what matters."

Sunghoon nods in agreement, his expression sincere. "It's perfect, Sweets. Thank you so much" he says softly, his hand finding yours and giving it a reassuring squeeze. This is Sunghoon’s first sign brought by someone he loves and he could not be more thankful that the first one was handmade by the love of his life.

“C’mere,” Minhee wraps his other arm around Sunghoon, forming the three of you in a huddle, “Whatever happens today, I just want you both to know that I really am sorry for everything that’s gone on and I would take it all back,” he says sadly, knowing that his actions have caused distress and pain to the one person he loves in the world.

“I wouldn’t,” Sunghoon says suddenly, causing you and Minhee to look at him, “I don’t know, I think this has just brought us closer together, who wouldn’t want that outcome?”

Nodding, you both agree with his sentiment. This troubled time has been a rollercoaster but you’ve found strength in one another through it all. Would you wish your mother’s implications weren’t a part of it all? Sure, but look at the three of you now. You’ve bonded in ways you would never think possible.

And your boyfriend and brother are becoming friends, that is all you could ask for in a situation like this.

Minhee stares into Sunghoon’s eyes as he tries to communicate with him. He doesn’t know you know about their plan, and he certainly doesn’t know about you requesting Sunghoon to go against your brother’s wishes.

Nodding once as if answering Minhee’s internal question, Sunghoon steps back, sighing, “Now can one of you please help me with this costume? I’m tangled at the back and I don’t know how,” he begs, turning to show his dilemma.

“Mate, you’ve got your arm inside out,” Minhee says with a snort, solving the problem with one gentle pull of the sleeve and turning it the right way around. He buttons it up for him at the back before slapping his back roughly, “Okay, I gotta go, I’m on in 30 minutes and I wanna see what it’s like out there.”

“Good luck, Minhee,” Sunghoon says, a smile on his face as he brings him in for a hug, “Do well,” he squeezes him tighter.

Reciprocating his hug, Minhee smiles, “You too. And watch that skate,” he jokes as he pulls away to hug you next.

Sunghoon playfully huffs and crosses his arms, "Not funny, okay? It's too soon," he retorts, a smirk tugging at his lips. Despite the jest, there's a genuine camaraderie between them, a shared understanding of each other's quirks and humour.

You playfully punch Minhee's arm for his remark, eliciting a laugh from him before he waves you both off, heading towards the side of the rink to prepare for his performance.

As Minhee disappears from view, you're left alone with Sunghoon once again. He picks up the sign, a fond smile gracing his features, "I've always wanted one of these," he admits wistfully, his gaze lingering on the sign with a mixture of appreciation and affection.

You smile at Sunghoon's words, touched by his genuine sentiment, "I'm glad you like it," you say softly, stepping closer to him and resting your hand on his arm, "I wanted to do something special for you, sorry it was tied in with Minhee but I always make him a sign so,” you explain, stroking his forearm.

“I don’t care, I love it regardless because you made it.” Sunghoon’s eyes reflect warmth and gratitude as he gently places the sign against the wall.

“I promise, next competition when it’s just you, I’ll make one for only you,” you beam up at him, fixing his tussled hair as best as you can, leaving a kiss on his nose. Sunghoon looks deeply at you as if coming to a realisation about something, but you miss it, too busy focusing on the parting of his hair. 

He holds your hips as you reach up to fix the back, his fingers squeezing you tightly as his heart flutters at the simple gesture. With the nape of your neck bare and in teasing Sunghoon, he leans down and places soft kisses upon it, savouring this moment.

The sudden affection makes you close your eyes, your hands now leaving his hair to hug him around his shoulders. His heart is thumping so loud you can hear it.

“Are you nervous?” you ask, nuzzling your nose into his hair. He doesn’t verbally respond, opting for a quick shake of the head but you can feel it in your bones that he is lying, his body betraying him, “You don’t have to be. Everything will work out whatever way the universe intends.”

Removing himself from you, Sunghoon gazes into your eyes once again except this time they’re filled with doubt. He is petrified of this skate because he knows if he accidentally wins, you’re in danger and that scares him because the threat is much more than he can handle. He doesn’t want to go against your request but for your health and safety, he will, he just has to do it sneakily so no one is mad at him. “You are going to do great, everything will be fine, and no offence but I really do think Minhee can win this,” you reiterate the words you’ve been saying to him since yesterday, only further proving your belief in your brother.

Sunghoon nods, but there's a hint of resignation in his gesture. "I wish I had someone like you in my corner while I was growing up," he confesses, a bitter laugh escaping his lips as he looks away. His gaze flickers to the ground, weighed down by the weight of his past.

"You did have someone – your dad," you remind him gently, reaching out to bring his forehead to touch yours. "And you still do. He's been watching over you this whole time, and he is so proud of you."

Sunghoon closes his eyes, allowing your comforting words to wash over him like a soothing balm. In that moment of vulnerability, he finds solace in the warmth of your embrace, the love and support you offer serves as motivation to keep you safe.

He nudges your nose with his as he speaks in a hushed tone, “Are you proud of me?”

For years it was his parent’s love and pride he fought for, his father giving it up so easily in comparison to his mother, but now it’s only you who he needs reassurance and love from. Sunghoon wants to make you proud in every way he possibly can.

Your eyes sparkle with love for him, “Sunghoon, my body is bursting with how proud you have made me. There is not a fibre of my being that isn’t proud of you,” you try to convey your genuity, knowing he needs to hear it most right now.

Sunghoon's heart swells at your words, a wave of relief coming over him as he hears the sincerity in your voice. Your unconditional support means everything to him, and in that moment, he feels a sense of peace knowing that he has you by his side.

Tears well up in his eyes as he pulls you into a tight embrace, cherishing the warmth and comfort of your presence. "Thank you," he whispers hoarsely, his voice filled with emotion. "I don't know what I would do without you. I love you so much, Y/N. I feel like I can’t breathe without you.”

As you hold Sunghoon tightly, his words sinking deep into your heart, you feel overwhelmed by the depth of your love for him. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes, mirroring his own, as you realise just how deeply intertwined your lives have become.

"I love you too, Sunghoon," you whisper back, your voice barely audible, but filled with unwavering conviction, "You're my everything and I promise you, you don’t have to worry. I'll always be here for you, through every moment, every challenge. You're not alone, and you never will be,” you whisper into his ear.

With those words, you offer him the reassurance and comfort he needs, your promise of unwavering support echoing in the space between you. In this embrace, you find solace in each other's arms, knowing that together, you can weather any storm that comes your way.

______

Settling into your seat in the designated family and friends area, you turn your attention towards the entrance of the rink, where Minhee is seen stretching. His expression is a mix of anticipation and apprehension, the weight of expectations palpable on his shoulders.

Minhee may have struck a deal with Sunghoon to secure a win, but with that agreement comes the added pressure of not making any mistakes. One wrong move could unravel everything, turning his carefully laid plans into chaos. As he prepares to take the ice, the intensity of the moment hangs heavy in the air.

Flicking his blade protectors off, Minhee glides onto the ice, circling the rink to warm up and familiarise himself with the surface beneath his skates. Amidst the whirlwind of emotions, his mind is filled with positive affirmations, each one a silent plea for a flawless performance.

With every lap, he pushes himself to perfection, knowing that this is his moment to shine. All he has to do is skate flawlessly, and everything will fall into place. Yet, despite the gravity of the situation, he tries to brush off the pressure with a casual "no pressure."

You watch him with a mixture of pride and hope, wishing you could convey your unwavering belief in him. You long for him to channel that same sparkle and determination that captivated everyone during his run-through at Belmore. As he takes his position in the middle of the rink, you silently send him all the positive energy and support you can muster, hoping some of it can be injected into him as he performs.

Shutting his eyes, the music begins and a hush falls over the audience, anticipation crackling in the air like electricity. With each breath, he channels his nerves into focus, his determination evident in the set of his jaw and the fire in his eyes.

Minhee launches into his routine with precision and grace. His movements are fluid, each step and turn executed with meticulous precision as he glides effortlessly across the ice. The audience is glued to him from the start, paying close attention following his every movement with rapt concentration. Minhee pushes himself to new heights with each jump and spin, blending his skills with his artistry, only making your heart swell with immense pride.

You hold your breath, slowly hiding your face behind the sign that you made as you know which part of his routine is coming next.

As the music crescendos, Minhee approaches the most difficult part: the quadruple axel, the one move he has based this whole routine on. He takes a deep breath, collects his strength, and throws himself into the air, spinning faster and faster until he completes four full rotations before landing with perfect elegance, leaving the audience breathless.

Standing up in amazement, you tuck your sign under your arm and clasp your hands, knowing it’s impolite to scream out of pure joy when an athlete is competing. Minhee’s quadruple axel today might have been the best you’ve seen in your entire life; the move is deemed one of the most difficult to accomplish and he just made it look like he does it every other Saturday.

Minhee expertly transitions into the last section of his performance, his confidence surging as he executes each element with accuracy and delicacy. His movements are filled with emotion, and his passion shines through in every beautiful gesture as he narrates a tale with each stride. He knows now is a straight run of easy manoeuvres he carefully choreographed to make sure the axle was the shining star of the performance.

It also means he can finally spare you a glance as he finds you in the crowd, a smile creeping on his face as he sees you standing with pride. You look hopeful that he might win and with your backing, that’s all he needs. He wishes he could win this without Sunghoon performing with the intent of losing, but he still has time to achieve that - your safety is all that matters.

As the music fades to its final notes, Minhee brings his performance to conclusion, his arms outstretched in triumph as he basks in the adulation of the crowd. The cheers that erupt from them are so loud you swear the glass might break. You can see the commentators also getting up in excitement, clearly enthralled by his performance. 

And when Minhee makes his last bow, a sense of fulfilment sweeps over you, knowing that he had not only met, but exceeded all expectations that he and others had set for himself. 

Gliding off the ice, he is met with the bone-crushing embrace of Coach Kim who adorns a wide smile on his face and tears in his eyes. The weight of their shared journey is evident in the strength of their embrace and Coach Kim's words of praise and encouragement are lost in the roar of the crowd, but the pride shining in his eyes says it all.

You want to be at Minhee's side, to share in the excitement of his triumph and to lavish him with praise. However, as you watch from the sidelines, witnessing Coach Kim and Coach Lee wrap him in a cocoon of love and praise, you can find comfort in knowing that he is receiving the ovation and admiration he deserves.

Minhee's heart expands with pride and delight, filling his chest with an incredible sensation of accomplishment. The excitement of the moment envelopes him like a warm hug, putting him on cloud 9. 

Coach Kim leads him to the seating area where he must sit to see his final score. You sit with ease, knowing that this will be his highest mark to date, an accomplishment in itself.

As Minhee awaits the display of his scores, a nervous energy pulses through him, his heart pounding in his chest with anticipation. Every muscle in his body tenses as he fixates on the screen, his breath caught in his throat as he waits for the verdict of his performance.

Then, in a flurry of movement, the numbers appear on the screen, each category receiving high points for technicality and artistry, and Minhee's eyes widen in disbelief. The numbers on the screen read 298.5, causing both you and Minhee’s faces to mimic one another despite being on opposite ends of the arena.

Having never before topped a score of 213.74 - an incredible accomplishment in and of itself - his new record catapults him to a whole new level, putting him alongside figure skating giants like Nathan Chen and Yuzuru Hanyu.

You don’t even think Sunghoon has scored that well before.

Minhee stands frozen for a moment, absorbing the weight of his achievement, before a radiant smile breaks across his face. It's a culmination of years of dedication, sacrifice, and unwavering determination.

“Fuck me!” he shouts, jumping up to hug Coach Kim once again. There are more elegant ways to celebrate than swearing on national television, but you can’t blame him for being completely besotted with himself.

The crowd’s cheers die down and the atmosphere returns to a calm-like state, only chatter filling the silence as people discuss their amazement over your brother's skating. You could not be more proud of him if you tried.

Now you just need to wait for Sunghoon, hoping the tremendous score Minhee got would serve as enough influence to just do his best and not throw it for the sake of your mother’s stupid consequences. 

An hour passes after Minhee's electrifying performance, the energy in the arena is crackling with excitement as the crowd eagerly awaits Sunghoon's turn on the ice. He is the golden boy of the figure skating world, and there is a lot of pressure on him to succeed, however, if he fails this one time, no one will be able to blame him or bat an eye at it; the score your brother set is almost impossible to beat.

You sit on the edge of your seat, your heart pounding in your chest as you watch him lumber up, his movements cautious as he tests his ankle to ensure it's ready for his performance.

He glides onto the ice, warming up with some jumps and simple stretches. His ankle, still tender from the previous injury, protests with each turn and twist, but Sunghoon pushes through the pain. This was a 2-minute and 40-second skate, it’ll be over in a flash and he just has to get through it. 

Sunghoon won’t admit it to you, or anyone for that matter, but being in front of all these people is terrifying him. The last time he performed this skate, in this outfit, in front of this many people, was the day he snapped his ankle. Not only the injury from it but the emotional damage it caused was hard to live with, and now it’s almost as if he is living that day all over again.

He glances around the family area to find you, sitting in your seat with adoration spread across your entire face. It’s like you have him under a spell, how his worries and fears seem to melt away as his eyes meet yours; the love between you casts a blanket of protection over his worries, the thoughts of making a complete full of himself gone so quickly, simply because of the sparkle in your eye.

Sunghoon skates over to your side, flashing you his beautiful smile, your favourite canines on full display. He looks so beautiful right now, the pressure normally placed on his shoulders by his mother has now vanished. This is the first competition he has participated in without the nagging of being perfect gnawing in his brain.

It’s comforting to know that even when he loses today, he has someone to run to who will show him love and appreciation for his efforts. 

However, the words of his mother's promise from their earlier conversation twirl in his brain. Sunghoon wonders if they really could reconcile through all of this, after everything they’ve been through. He wanted love and his mother couldn’t provide him with that. But maybe she really is willing to make an effort, perhaps all they needed was some time to mend their relationship.

Once Nationals is over he’ll deal with that, but for now, he needs to focus. He might be set to lose but he will be damned if he comes anything but second.

Taking a deep breath, Sunghoon puts his arm in the air, gearing up for his performance as he stands in position. He looks like a vision in his costume, the spotlight on him makes the jewels shine brighter and the silhouette of his trimmed figure under the shirt is more evident than the first time you saw him in it. Rina had a talent for creating clothes but perhaps she should consider a career in designing skating costumes.

As the haunting melody of "Ocean Eyes" by Billie Eilish fills the arena, Sunghoon begins his routine. You don’t realise you’re holding your breath and your hands are clasped so tight together that they’re turning white. You want him to do well, to show everyone that even with an injury still looming under his taped up ankle, he is still miles above the rest.

Sunghoon launches into a flawless triple axel as the music swells, his body soaring through the air with precision and grace. He lands it clean, a small smile on his face despite his ankle pulsing. He hadn’t realised how sore it had been over the past few days, perhaps all that rehearsal time and coming back too early had finally done some damage. But that doesn’t matter right now, what matters is finishing the routine.

And to have fun.

With each beautiful turn and twist, Sunghoon's is reviving a passion that had laid dormant for far too long. It's a revelation, a flashback to his old self, a child consumed by the pure excitement of skating.

In the rink, he's letting go of his inhibitions and embracing the moment, a contrast to the stoicism that has defined almost all of his past competitions. The judges can see it too, with the joy he is showcasing through each glide of his blades across the ice, they are mesmerised. This is the Sunghoon that the people fell in love with, the skater that made them proud.

When he reaches the finale of his skate, performing a stunning combination spin that leaves the audience breathless, Sunghoon realises he has accomplished something far better than any medal or acclaim could ever provide. In this moment of perfect bliss, he reconnects with his passion, purpose, and the simple joy of skating.

You had shown him how to love skating again throughout your relationship, now added with the lack of pressure to win, he can finally breathe.

He’s home.

You are the first one to stand up, applauding your man for his flawless skate. It was perfect, he was perfect. The crowd follows suit, cheering and yelling as he bows, letting the praise wash over his body. You could not be prouder of him, the tears in your eyes are a testament to your feelings.

This is your first time seeing him in competition as his girlfriend which probably adds to the swelling of your heart, but it’s more than that. You have been a fan of Sunghoon for a lot longer and as a fan, there is nothing more fulfilling than seeing your favourite person achieve something, even if the accomplishment is happiness, you want him to be bathed in it.

However, with Sunghoon performing possibly one of his best skates in the past couple of years, it does set in the back of your mind that he still has to lose. You told him to go out there and give it everything he has but now the moment is getting closer and closer to determining your fate, you’re a little on edge.

You’re trying not to think about it because you know Minhee has done amazing and if he truly does beat Sunghoon today, you can breathe easy knowing you made the right call and that Minhee did this all on his own. 

Your brother needs this.

Sunghoon stands straight and skates around the rink, lapping up the crowd's adoration. You’re too caught up in your head you almost forget your surprise for him; it wasn’t just the sign that you had planned.

Traditionally, skaters get things thrown into the ring; plushies, roses, the whole lot. Minhee was partial to receiving little dog plushies and yellow sunflowers - the perfect accompaniment to his brand. And Sunghoon would always receive roses and penguin toys, but you wanted to throw something that as he saw it on the ice, he would know instantly that it was from you.

Delving into your bag, your fingers close around the familiar packaging of Haribos. With a proud smile, you launch them onto the pristine ice, a playful gesture laden with significance. For you and Sunghoon, the colourful sweeties hold a special place in your hearts.

It was a reminder of not only you but of his dad. It’s something so silly but sacred to you both, the first knot in your invisible string. His father had been the bridge to connect you both when you were younger and if he could see you both now, he would be filled with unfiltered happiness.

Gliding gracefully toward your side, he spots the sweets nestled within the sea of roses and looks up at you, his eyes widening in glee.

With the Haribos clutched to his chest, he silently mouths 'I love you,' to which you reciprocate with a beaming grin, watching fondly as he skates back towards the rink's exit.

Coach Lee is the first to greet him, ruffling his hair and patting him on the shoulder as he sings his praises. It’s a little strange not seeing his mother there but Sunghoon doesn’t seem to mind, too busy basking in the love from his coach. 

Walking to the couch area, he sits and awaits his score. It just has to be under 298.5, that’s all it has to be. He grips the packet of sweets tight as he rethinks his whole performance. Perhaps he skated a little too well and that scared him because that can only mean you’re in danger of having those men after you. 

He can defend you from a hockey player, but against a literal loan shark, he's out of his depth with that one.

As the scores begin to round up on the giant screen, your heart races with anticipation. Each number revealed feels like a drumbeat, echoing the beating of your heart. Usually, you would be begging it to slow down, your heart typically adorning a rapid pace in events like these, yet it is so still you think it might stop. It only seems to beat as each individual score is revealed.

Sunghoon is the same, fondling the Haribos like a stress ball as he sees the high scores, some seem higher than Minhee’s which nearly puts him into cardiac arrest. If he wins over Minhee, he might vomit all over his coach.

Then - as if the world has stopped - the final score flashes on the screen and materialises itself before you and Sunghoon. 

Gasping, you drop your sign and shoot up, mouth hung open as your eyes stay glued to the numbers before you.

296.21

Minhee won.

Minhee won.

“Oh my god,” you whisper to yourself, a smile splits your cheeks and your knees shake under you. Your brother won, through all his hard work and determination, he beat Sunghoon. And not only that, he bet him with his highest score to match. Sunghoon’s performance was awe-inducing, clearly indicated by the momentous score he just received, yet Minhee still managed to overtake him.

As Coach Lee offers Sunghoon a consoling pat on the shoulder, the atmosphere is thick with tension. Yet, Sunghoon can't feign disappointment. At this moment, there's only one thought racing through his mind.

You're safe.

Once the commotion settles down around the arena, the final scoreboard is unveiled to reveal your two boys at the top, miles above the others. It’s a moment you never want to forget, seeing their names beside one another with their respective medals makes you feel a happiness that you know comes few and far between.

The staff set up the podiums on the ice which are soon to hold your brother and boyfriend in pride of place. This is new, they’ve been battling each other for the top spot their entire careers yet this one feels slightly different.

Perhaps it’s because if your mother holds her end of the bargain, you’re free of the debt that you didn’t even create and she is hopefully nowhere to be seen after today. You want to be sad about it, but regardless of how strange it will be to no longer have her there, you’re thankful that Minhee can be free of her burden and you free of her deceit. 

You watch on as Minhee and Sunghoon skate to their places, carefully stepping on the white boxes as the triumphant music plays through the speakers. They have done so well, much better than anyone could have anticipated.

With each medal ceremoniusly placed around their necks, the weight of the accomplishment settles upon Minhee. He thinks about what this means for you both and tears well up in his eyes. 

You’re both going to have to start from scratch and find a new home to call yours. But he is also going to the Olympics, something he has dreamed of since he was a little boy, something you have wanted for him since he incessantly started talking about it. 

His heart is filled with bittersweet symphonies as he looks ahead but he knows one thing is for certain - he will make sure you’re both happy.

“You can cry, y’know,” Sunghoon whispers beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing tight. When Sunghoon won his first National Gold, he wept like a baby in front of everyone and the pictures snapped became memes on Twitter by the next day.

Sniffling back his emotions, Minhee shakes his head. He refuses to let the floodgates open, fearing he won't be able to stem the tide once it begins. Each tear would symbolise the myriad of emotions he's bottled up over the past few months.

Instead, Minhee leans in close to Sunghoon, his words a soft murmur against his ear. "When I asked you to throw it, I didn't mean by the skin of your teeth. I almost lost," his voice carries a hint of frustration, though it's tempered by the overwhelming happiness of their victory.

Though Minhee is elated at the win, there's a simmering undercurrent of anger towards Sunghoon for nearly jeopardizing their chance to resolve the situation.

"But you didn't," Sunghoon responds with a playful grin, though Minhee finds little amusement in the situation. With a sigh, Sunghoon explains, "Y/N asked me not to, okay? You've known her your whole life, you understand how hard it is to say no to her."

Your brother can't help but agree; there's an undeniable sway you hold over others. Minhee nods, straightening up as the photographer captures a few shots of the medalists.

Turning to face Minhee, the silver medalist offers reassurance once the pictures have been taken, "You did this on your own, that's all she wanted, okay? You have a sister who believes in you more than anything else in the world. In a way, it's her trust in you that propelled you to this moment. People would do anything for that kind of support," Sunghoon whispers the last sentence, acknowledging the depth of his own longing for such unwavering belief.

Minhee knows he is lucky to have you in his corner. Often, he wonders what it would have been like to not have you by his side, and looking at Sunghoon’s dejected face now, he sees what it’s like.

“You have her too, Sunghoon. She’s got enough room in her heart for both of us, to watch us both succeed,” Minhee smiles softly, nudging his old rival with his arm, “Just don’t steal her from me, she’s all I have now.”

“You’re wrong,” Sunghoon wraps his arm around his newfound friend, “You’ve got me! Some would say that’s better than Y/N,” he exclaims with enthusiasm.

Rolling his eyes, Minhee fights a smile as he pushes Sunghoon off of him, a laugh escaping his lips. Sunghoon will fit right into his life, that much he’s certain of now.

_____

You stand amidst the bustling crowd, eagerly awaiting the arrival of your boyfriend and brother. The arena is alive with excitement, vibrant with the chatter of spectators praising both Sunghoon and Minhee's impressive performances.

As people stream past you, caught up in the post-competition buzz, you can't help but feel a swell of pride washing over you. It's almost as if you were the one receiving the accolades, so deeply invested are you in their success.

Then, you spot them making their way towards you, their medals gleaming proudly around their necks even as they've already changed into their regular clothes. To be fair, if you had won a gold or silver medal, you know you wouldn't ever want to take it off either.

With a quickening of your heart, you jog up to meet them halfway, your body colliding with Minhee’s as you hug him tight, squeezing him so hard that he could pop. But instead of complaining, he reciprocates with the same amount of enthusiasm.

“I can’t believe I won,” he says quietly, scared that if he says it too loud someone will pull him from this dream he is living in.

"I knew you could do it, Mini,” you mutter into his chest, your face squashed against him. 

Kissing the crown of your head, he pushes you away, “Sunghoon told me you know about everything, what I asked him to do for me,” he says almost ashamed, holding your head close to his chest so you can’t see his face. He doesn’t want you to think less of him for having to beg Sunghoon to help him get you out of this mess you were unknowingly a part of, “He also told me that you told him to go against my plan.”

“I believed in you, Minhee,” you finally fight to pull your head from his embrace, gazing into his eyes as you try to project the belief you have onto him, “I knew you could do this on your own. No underhanded tactics, just you and your skates. I have always believed in you like that,” you pout as you see the words sink into his brain, a soft glow rushing over his face as your words instil him wil self-belief.

“Thank you, Bubs, for always being here for me,” he closes his eyes, a determined expression painting his features, “If she tries to come back and hurt you in any way or if she doesn’t keep her word I will do everything in my power to make sure you’re safe,” he says, speaking about your mother. It was hard for him to even call her that anymore.

Minhee says the words with conviction as he stares deep into your eyes. In some weird way, your mother's shenanigans have helped you and Minhee grow a bond stronger than ever before, something that should be deemed impossible, yet here you are. 

Feeling the warmth of Minhee's embrace, you nod against his chest, your words a solemn promise, "Me too. I'll make sure you're living the life you want, the life you deserve."

The sentiment hangs in the air between you, a shared understanding of the depth of your commitment to each other's happiness and fulfillment. For a few precious moments, you simply hold onto each other, drawing strength from the connection you share as siblings.

But as your boyfriend coughs softly, attempting to subtly regain your attention, you gently pull away from Minhee's embrace, though the warmth of his presence lingers with you. 

Turning towards your boyfriend with a reassuring smile, “Are you jealous you’re not getting attention?”

You finally throw yourself into Sunghoon's arms, a wide grin spreading across your face as you greet him with a deep, passionate kiss. You’re so full of love that if you don’t pass it onto him through your tongue sweeping into his mouth, you might implode.

As you break away, a sense of elation fills the air around you. Sunghoon's arms wrap tightly around you, pulling you close as if he never wants to let you go. His eyes sparkle with pride and affection, mirroring your own emotions.

"You did amazing, Hoonie," you whisper, holding onto him tighter as you pass your affection from your body to his. "Thank you so much." Your gratitude flows freely, a testament to your appreciation for his trust in your judgment that Minhee was more than capable of succeeding on his own.

Sunghoon sets you down gently, his hand cupping your cheek as he places a feather-light kiss on your nose, "You're welcome, Sweets," he murmurs affectionately, "Although, I did get a bollocking from Minhee back in the locker room," he adds with a laugh.

Minhee grunts, crossing his arms in mock annoyance, "Well, he deserved it, skating so well and all that," he says with a playful pout, eliciting laughter from you and Sunghoon.

"I'll take the compliment, Baby," Sunghoon retorts, making exaggerated kissy faces at Minhee, the playful banter between the two filling the air with warmth and joy.

“Yeah yeah, look, can you stop hogging my manager for a minute,” Minhee rolls his eyes as he speaks.

But you’re confused by his statement, "Manager?" you repeat sceptically, withdrawing from Sunghoon's embrace to face your brother directly, "What do you mean, manager?"

Minhee shrugs nonchalantly, but you can see the flicker of anticipation in his eyes, "Well, Mum's no longer in the picture, so I'm in need of a manager. And I thought you would be perfect," he explains, his words carrying a mix of hope and excitement.

The weight of his request settles heavily on your shoulders. You've never managed anything more than closing up shop at work, and the idea of being in charge of Minhee's entire career feels overwhelming. Even though you’re at Uni studying Events Management, it wasn’t exactly heavy on the management part, it certainly hasn’t equipped you with the skills to handle such responsibility.

Minhee senses your hesitation, and he steps closer, his expression earnest. "Bubs, I trust you more than anyone else in the world," he says softly, his voice pleading, "And just think of all the travelling you'll get to do, all the contacts you'll make. Please, Y/N. I can't go to the Olympics without you."

The mention of the Olympics sends a shiver of excitement down your spine. The event is being held in Paris this year which is a dream destination you've longed to visit since you were a little girl, and the opportunity to be a part of Minhee's journey to the Olympics fills you with both fear and exhilaration.

"Manager?" you repeat, still trying to wrap your head around the idea. The thought of being responsible for Minhee's career is daunting, but his trust in you is undeniable.

Minhee nods, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation, "Yeah, manager," he confirms, his voice tinged with hope. His confirmation of words hit you with a newfound gravity, you realise just how much this means to him. The thought of being by his side, supporting him on his journey fills you with a sense of purpose.

"Okay," you say finally, your voice steady despite the flutter of nerves in your stomach, "I'll do it. I'll be your manager."

A wide smile breaks across Minhee's face, relief flooding his features. He pulls you into a tight hug, his gratitude palpable.

"Thank you, Y/N," he murmurs against your hair, "You won't regret it, I promise." 

Minhee pulls back from the embrace, his enthusiasm obvious, and you can't help but feel a burst of determination rush through you. You're going to attempt to be the best manager this world has ever seen. But when the reality of your new responsibility settles in, a question arises in the back of your mind.

"What about you, Sunghoon?" you inquire, turning to face your boyfriend, "What are you going to do now that you don't have a manager either?"

Sunghoon shrugs casually, though there's a hint of uncertainty in his eyes, "I'm figuring it out," he replies with a nonchalant smile, "I don’t know if I really need one."

You can sense the unease lurking beneath his easygoing facade, and it tugs at your heartstrings. While Minhee's proposition has filled you with a sense of purpose, you can't help but worry about Sunghoon navigating the uncertain waters of his career without the support of a manager.

But before you can voice your concerns, Sunghoon reaches out, squeezing your hand reassuringly, "Don't worry about me, Sweets," he says, his voice soft but resolute. "I'll find my way, just like you and Minhee will."

He has a weird look on his face as he rattles his brain, wondering whether to let the next words slip out of his mouth. You stand patiently waiting for him to speak.

“I uh, I think the Olympics is going to be my last big competition,” he says quietly but the words ring in your and Minhee’s ears as your expressions fall into disbelief.

"What do you mean?" you reply, your voice laced with concern. The idea of Sunghoon giving up skating, the very thing he's dedicated his life to, feels unfathomable to you. After all the years of relentless training and unwavering determination, it seems unthinkable that he would consider walking away from it all.

Sunghoon had thought about it for a while, about giving up this life for a more simplistic one but the plunge always seemed too deep. But skating today without worry or fear and no pressure to win, gave him the courage to take the jump.

“I’m gonna ask Coach Kim if I can study under him and coach the kids. I’ve enjoyed doing it when I can and I think it could be good for me,” he explains.

"But this is your dream, Sunghoon," you protest softly, unable to shake the feeling of disbelief, "You've worked so hard for this."

Sunghoon shakes his head, offering you a gentle smile as he squeezes your hand in reassurance, "I found my dream," he says earnestly, his gaze softening as he looks at you, "And it's not about winning first place at competitions. I don’t need to chase anything else when everything I need is in front of me.”

You could melt at his words, the depth of his love and contentment washing over you like a comforting embrace. Sunghoon's clarity and conviction fill you with a sense of awe and admiration, even as you grapple with the weight of his decision. 

In that moment, you realise just how much love this man has for you and how grateful you are to have him by your side. Although you need to make sure this is exactly what he wants.

"But what about all the years of hard work?" you find yourself asking, unable to shake off the concern that gnaws at your heart, "You've sacrificed so much to get to where you are."

Sunghoon's gaze softens, his thumb gently tracing circles on the back of your hand, "It wasn't all for nothing, Y/N," he reassures you, his voice tender, "Every moment on the ice, every win and loss, has led me here, to this realisation. I wouldn't trade any of it for the world."

You want to cry as a fan and mourn the loss of one of the best skaters in the industry, but as his other half, you are so immensely proud of him for following his heart and not just doing what others tell him to do.

"And besides," Sunghoon continues, a playful glint dancing in his eyes, "I'll still be skating, just in a different capacity. And who knows? Maybe I'll even finally teach you to do an axel.”

"In her dreams!" Minhee interjects with a booming laugh, breaking into your warm moment with his characteristic humour.

You shoot your brother a playful glare, flipping him off, but your attention remains firmly fixed on Sunghoon, "Okay, if this is what you want, I'll support you," you say, your voice filled with unwavering commitment.

Sunghoon's smile widens at your words, a wave of gratitude washing over him. "Thank you, Sweets," he murmurs, his voice soft with emotion as he pulls you closer, "I love you so fucking much, Y/N."

"I love you too, Hoonie," you reply, your heart swelling with love. "Forever." 

With Minhee's career taking off and Sunghoon embarking on a new journey, you can't help but feel a sense of excitement for what the future holds. Everything has fallen into place, it just took reaching melting point to figure it all out. 

taglist (closed!!): @heelee-01 @zerasari @beomgyusonlywife @iwaplant @monstanctiny21 @chiiiiiiiiis @minniejenseo @run2gyuz @jngwnlvs @haelahoops @capri-cuntz @nctislifue @jaehoonii @weyukinluv @skzenhalove @enhypenlovre @cherriruto @bambangan @who-tf-soddhi @nxzz-skz @nshmrarki @hotsforikeu @enhastolemyheart @erehkinnie30 @judeduartewannabe @neosexual @fakeuwus @positivelyinlovewithjungwon @tobiosbbyghorl @kimsunoops @aloverga

[paradiseismine]

Finn and his characters cuddling you - headcanons

Pairing: Finn Wolfhard + Finnverse characters x gender neutral!reader

Warnings: rather fluffy with a tinyyyy bit of spice, ok? No smut this time ❤️

Summary: how Finn and each of his characters would cuddle with you 🥰

Love note from Nina: my last two Finn-related fics pretty much flopped, and that made me quite sad. I considered abandoning this account, I’m not sure if I should just keep putting these fics out into the world, even if no one cares. Anyway. Trying to write some fluffier stuff as well 💕

Finn Wolfhard (himself)

Our beloved boy won’t say it to your face, but he’s a sucker for some cuddles. He was a bit more reserved regarding physical affection when you two met, but with time, you truly made him a serial cuddler. Whenever he has some time off, you’re required to meet up with him and cuddle him for a good couple hours. Finnie lovesss putting his head on your chest and listening to your heartbeat, or just lying on top of you altogether. He says it’s really calming, and his anxieties all seem to melt away. If you run your fingers through his hair, humming or whispering sweet nothings to him, it’s over - he’ll either fall asleep in a minute or get the urge to, you know, take things further. Being able to relax and trust someone so much actually turns him on quite a bit.

Boris Pavlikovsky

It’s hard to make this one ask for cuddles, he’ll mostly just lie beside you in bed and cuddle you without a word, or make you lie down with him if he knows you’re not busy. Being a big spoon all the way, expect him to attach himself perfectly to your butt, and get used to feeling his erection a bit while you’re cuddling. It doesn’t mean anything, though - he’s just relaxed, he’ll say, nothing malicious. There has to be some serious hand holding all throughout the cuddling session, some neck kisses and sweet words in Russian or Polish as well. Also lots of “love you forever, kochanie”, “you smell so good, wish I can smell you forever”, that delicious accent never failing to make you smile.

Mike Wheeler

After a d&d campaign or a stroll at the mall with the gang, your paladin expects some good time alone with his sweetheart - and cuddles are mandatory for him. He’ll normally take you to his room or to his basement, put his arm around your shoulder with the lamest “fake yawn” move and cuddle you. You’ll laugh and embrace him fully, still amazed that he actually pulled off that cliché on you (and well, it worked). Mikey loves some light making out and tender caresses as you two cuddle, even if they don’t lead to anything - he just loves touching your body in anyway he can, just feeling that you enjoy his company and his touch is more than enough to get him smiling like a little kid.

Miles Fairchild

Cuddles are a bit rarer with Miles, but that’s just because he doesn’t really know how to ask for them. Non-sexual affection is a bit harder for him, you’d always known that. So, you can just initiate the cuddles whenever you want them, and he’ll never deny them. When you two cuddle, he’ll embrace your body fully, tangling his legs to yours, arms around your torso, all of it. Usually you’re on top of him, he likes to think he’s protecting you. He’s not very vocal on expressing his feelings for you, but he’ll run his fingers through your hair gently, ask if you’re comfortable, if you need anything, and talk about anything you want.

Trevor Spengler

You know Trev can’t resist some good cuddles. He was a bit shy at first, but as you two got closer, he felt more comfortable to ask for cuddles and kisses when he’s feeling a bit needy. When you two are in bed, he lovesss to be the little spoon and wear you like a human backpack. If you’re on the couch or on the backseat of the Ectomobile, he’ll cradle you like you’re a baby, making sure to caress your face gently and pepper you with kisses. When you watch horror movies with him, it’s his time to shine, as he gets to squeeze you in his arms and “protect you” from the ghosts and monsters in the films. He finds it adorable when you squeal and rush into his embrace as you get jumpscared.

Ziggy Katz

Our favorite internet celebrity is THE cuddles man, hands down. He’ll always make sure the bedsheets and blankets are fresh out of the dryer and that he smells amazing himself. The lighting is always a bit dimmed, mostly provided by the neon signs in his room. He’ll ask you to put your head to his chest and cuddle him as he runs his fingers through your hair, gently playing with it. Expect a lo-fi playlist to be playing softly on the background, as well as some slow kissing here and there. If it’s later in the evening, you two will probably end up dozing off and having some good repairing sleep together, only to wake up completely tangled up in each other’s arms the next morning. He just loves having you around and sharing that kind of intimacy with you.

[yumeka-sxf]

A chronological analysis on Twilight and Yor - Part 17

*This is part of an ongoing post series. If you missed the Introduction/Part 1, click here*

----------

After waking up from the comforting dream about his mother, then being thrust back into the reality of his catastrophic date, Twilight's mind starts hyperventilating again. We find out that Yor was the first person to actually knock him unconscious since his training days, more proof that he really does let his guard down when he's around her (which was something he was just starting to realize himself before he passed out).

When she regrettably tells him that she understands he'd want to move on from a wife who only has brute strength, he takes a moment to reflect before responding. We don't get to hear his inner thoughts during this relatively long pause, but based on everything that just happened, there's plenty to infer about what he's thinking and why he doesn't respond immediately.

He just realized that he completely misread Yor at the bar. He threw every honey trap technique he could at her, and not only did they not work, but they ended up making things worse. After all that he put the both of them through, here she is, still feeling insecure about her ability to be a good wife...the very thing he was trying to fix by asking her out in the first place. One would expect that he has no other options left besides giving her the kinds of compliments that have made her feel better in the past, like saying that she is a good wife/mother, that he appreciates all that she does, and that Fiona is just a coworker (which is what he was originally going to tell her before he misread her and decided to take things too far with the honey trap). But instead, he does something completely unexpected, and certainly unbefitting of a spy – he reveals a vulnerable, personal part of his past to her…not as Twilight nor as Loid Forger, but as his true self.

He continues by likening the security he felt with his own mother to how safe Anya feels having Yor as her mother. We know that he's still being truthful here because we see a vision of Anya and Yor in his mind as he thinks that the kind of motherly strength Yor possess is just as important as the work he and his fellow agents do for the country. Another reason we know he's speaking his true thoughts here is because we don't get any of his usual internal monologuing about how he has to say these things "for the mission" – for this brief moment, he's choosing to live truly and fully in the moment.

This is the conversation he should have had with her back at the bar. Because their relationship was never built on standard romantic acts to begin with, but on heartfelt honestly (even if they lie about their professions). He now realizes that trying to win her over with his standard tactics would never work. It's only when he stops trying to be someone that he's not, can his interactions with Yor go smoothly. Compared to the scene at the bar, which was one misunderstanding after another, once Twilight has this genuine conversation with Yor, and stops using manipulation and deceit, the misunderstandings cease. However, there was no reason for Twilight to mention anything about his own mother, especially when revealing unnecessary things about his real life is frowned upon in the spy world. He could have complimented Yor on her strength and how good of a mother she is without bringing up his own past. So there was no other reason for him to open up to her like that other than the fact that he wanted to – in that moment, his desire to trust her was stronger than his spy rationale. For what could possibly be the first time since he became a spy, he wanted someone to know a vulnerable side of him, just as she always trusts him with all her vulnerabilities.

@itsmaferart describes this mutuality between Twilight and Yor very well in this post . To quote:

" Clearly, Twilight has been getting to know Yor and she has only shown him her most honest side: a sweet, maternal, tender, patient woman, with a positive, discreet vision, who puts love and family first. But she also shows him her most vulnerable side: she is shy, clumsy, unsociable, a lousy cook and very insecure.

That has caused Twilight to confide and show himself vulnerable to her on more than one occasion. For they, in part, share many insecurities, the same sense of responsibility and sacrifice. The truth is that feeling so much comfort with Yor has made him more sensitive, but it also makes him develop an unconscious fear that all that beauty is a lie, and he himself is falling..."

As much as Twilight wants to trust Yor completely, having lived a life based on deception after deception, he can't fully shake the feeling that the more honest and wonderful something seems, the more likely it could be a sham. And yet, he still chooses to trust her time and time again. @nitewrighter brings up  the irony in how, because their relationship is based on a mutually accepted fake marriage, that actually works in their favor. Because the marriage isn't real, they have no expectations for each other. It would be a different story if one of them knew the marriage was fake and was tricking the other, but because it's mutually transactional, everything they choose to do for each other – every little favor, every passing smile and encouraging word, every expression of affection both big and small, especially at home where they don't have to put on the facade, is all the more genuine because it's not required for their relationship. This is particularly true for Yor choosing to be a good mother to Anya, which is something Loid didn't ask her to do but he wholly appreciates it.

When Yor still expresses doubt, saying that everything she knows is only because she had to take care of Yuri, Twilight responds by saying that's precisely the reason why she excels at it – because she's been doing it since she herself was a child, she's second to none.

I mentioned previously that Yor exhibits many symptoms of imposter syndrome, one of which is always thinking you're a failure at something even though you actually excel at it, which is exactly how she views her own parenting skills. But once Twilight clearly and honestly tells her why she's such a good mother, and asks that she continue to be Anya's mother and his wife, she smiles and accepts.

As I've brought up many times before, despite everything that happened, Twilight never harbors any resentment towards Yor. He could have been annoyed that she kicked him and embarrassed him in front of everyone at the bar, but as I just discussed, he realized he was the one at fault for trying to push a romantic scenario on her that didn't actually exist. At the same time, Yor could have been upset with him for being so forward with her, but instead, she decided to tenderly take care of him until he woke up. As @piracytheorist mentioned, Twilight was completely unprepared to receive such softness after everything that happened. This was why he was so on edge as soon as he woke up in her lap. But even though he realized he was in the wrong, she still blamed herself and continued to see her brute strength as a flaw. This is why telling her the story about his mother was so important – the strength that she sees as a flaw is something he greatly admires, so much so that he's willing to reveal such a private memory to her.

The fact that he did this not only indicates his willingness to trust, but also his realization that his usual "Romeo" tactics won't work on her. Gentleness and honesty (as honest as a spy can be at least) are what she responds to. He realized that by doing the opposite at the bar, everything went wrong. If he had simply gone through with his original plan of telling her that Fiona is just a coworker, things would have turned out fine. But instead, when he thought she may have romantic feelings for him, he decided to take advantage of the situation with a spontaneous honey trap, which backfired right in his face (or rather, chin).

When they finally return home, Yor has a continuation of the revelation she had at the end of the cooking lesson episode. There, she realized how happy she is being in the Forger family. And now, she realizes that she's too attached to it to willingly leave it behind. This explains why, back at the bar, she couldn't bring herself to tell Loid she wishes him well with his new wife – she was willing to accept that turn of events in her mind, but her heart was refusing.

I have to say that at the end of this story arc, Yor is ahead of Twilight as far as coming to understand and accept her own feelings. As I just explained, she now understands how much she loves being in the Forger family beyond just her cover up. But Twilight still has yet to reveal any new feelings or thoughts about Yor and Anya from all this, so we can only infer. Obviously he's shown that he trusts Yor enough to tell her a personal detail about his real life, and he truly wants her to continue to be his wife and Anya's mother. But we also know that he misinterpreted her kick as a rejection of his romantic confession, when in reality it was just her misdirected emotional outburst due to him coming on too strong, and her being too drunk. So at this point in Twilight's mind, even if this incident has deepened his feelings for her, he still thinks she rejected him. Like I mentioned before, convincing himself that her kick was a rejection is a convenient way for him to not have to confront his emotions further…but for how long, only time will tell.

Continue to Part 18 ->

<- Return to Part 16

[shy-urban-hobbit]

Aiden/Lambert angst

C/W character death

Aiden groaned, trying to simultaneously rub the sleep from his eyes and move his hair off his face. Crap, when had he fallen asleep?

Someone let out an amused huff next to him, "Mornin' Sunshine."

Aiden's breath left him in a shaky exhale as he flipped his body to fully face the other side of the bed.

"Lambert?"

"You expecting someone else?" He asked arching an eyebrow.

Aiden saw his cocky expression morph into one of concerned panic just before his vision started to blur.

"Oh shit, Aiden. Please don't cry."

Aiden didn't need to be able to see Lambert to know that the other would be looking like one of his own bombs was about to go off in his face. He could almost feel the heat from Lambert's hand as it hovered awkwardly in the vicinity of his shoulder. His Wolf never did know how to handle tears, from anybody.

"I'm sorry, Lambert. I'm so sorry!"

"For what? It's not like you're the one that pumped me full of venom."

"Which happened because you shoved me out the way! You stupid-" Aiden broke off as another sob shook his entire body, "You should have let me take the fucking hit."

"Like I was gonna do that. Besides, outcome would still be the same. Just reversed."

Aiden could hear the shrug. His sob turned into a snarl as the others nonchalants filled him with anger.

"Why aren't you mad at me?" He demanded, scrubbing furiously at his eyes to glare at the other, tears still falling, "This is all my fault. I know it, you know it. Your family-"

"Won't blame you." Lambert interrupted firmly, "They all know the life. Something like this was bound to happen eventually and Vesemir gave his word you're as much an honorary Wolf as Coen, remember?"

Aiden felt fingers ghost through the ends of his hair, "They won't punish you for something I did. Despite what people think I'm capable of thinking for myself and I don't regret it."

Aiden could only lie there and take in the others still haggard appearance as he continued playing with his hair. Golden eyes slightly sunken and surrounded by dark circles that had nothing to do with potions, skin too pale apart from the spider web disappearing under the neck of his tunic, showing the path of the manticores venom. More than anything, Aiden wanted to reach out to him but something was holding him in place, warning him the moment would be gone if he moved.

"Try and get some more sleep, you look about as good as I probably do right now. I promise it's going to be alright, Kitten. Just, don't cry over this again, it's not worth it. I'm alright, honestly. Nothing hurts anymore and I'm going to be right there with you. Please don't cry."

"Lambert, I.." The rest of the declaration drifted as Aiden's eyes suddenly felt incredibly heavy, drifting closed of their own accord.

The last thing he was aware of was Lambert giving that crooked grin he loved so much, "I know. You too. So damn much."

The pillow was damp when Aiden woke and he didn't need to check the other side of the bed to know it would be stone cold. He buried his nose into the soft, worn fabric of the tunic he'd tucked by his head, already dreading the day the scent would be truly gone.

It was some sort of cruel mockery that he could see the start of the mountain pass leading to Kaer Morhen from his window. He never thought it was a journey he'd have to make alone but Lambert's family needed to hear it from him rather than through gossip in the spring. They needed to know what had happened to their youngest Pup.

Part of him hoped Vesemir would disregard past claims and...what? Banish him, execute him? At this point he'd happily take anything the remaining Wolves saw fit to dish out. Penance for breaking his one promise to them.

"I promise I'll keep him safe."

Aiden couldn't put it off any longer and - if he were being honest with himself - he didn't want to. He grabbed his pack from by the door, hyper aware of the silver Wolf's head tucked away safely, ready to join it's brethren on the medallion tree. The thought caused a fresh wave of grief to wash over him, "Sorry, Lambert." He whispered, wiping his eyes quickly, but not quickly enough to stop a few tears falling.

It looked like this was to be a journey of broken promises.

[potol0ver]

Howdy pardner 🤠🐴

You said you were begging for a request for Erik to worship someone. I don’t know if you’re doing specific requests, but here’s one if you’re up for it:

Musical!Erik x Y/N

Erik had a really rough day dealing with the manager’s bullshit or smthn like that. Y/N comes down to visit him, and sees how upset he is. They ask what they can do to help him, and after collecting himself, he half-smiles.

“You can let me admire you~” He then proceeds to thoroughly kiss and praise and tease Y/N (consensually) as a stress-reliever and a way to redirect his emotions.

#LetThisManGetWhippedForHisS/O

- Yeehaw Anon 🐴

OH HELL YES- i love this idea. Also im leaving this one open ended at the end to keep it GN, don’t worry i have a smut prompt waiting for me to write it so if you want direct smut it’ll be out sometime this week most likely <3

Tags; Soft dom Erik x GN Reader, suggestive towards the end, fluffy, simi smut, Erik being obsessed with you, chest play (not said to have boobs though), short and sweet

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sound of Erik’s organ rang through the catacombs as you walked down to his lair. You knew the rehearsal went wrong but you didn’t expect it to go so wrong he’d be hitting his organ keys this hard. Breathing in and sighing you finally made it to Erik’s abode and well… he looked pissed. His wig and mask were off, and playing the organ while standing.

Walking closer you practically tell his name so he could hear you. Once he did hear you he whipped his head towards you with an angry expression that quickly softened seeing you there. Defeated he plopped down on his organs bench and placed his head in his hands.

“You have no idea how bad today went,” he said with a slight roughness to his voice, almost like his voice was sore from yelling, “Carlotta wouldn’t take the advice from the conductor, and by doing that sabotaging the rehearsal,” you stood beside him now placing a hand in his back as he ranted, “the ballet dancers were supposed to try out a new routine but since Madame Giry had family matters to attend to the ballet dancers looked like they had two left feet, and the prop people were too drunk to do anything on cue, it was a shit show.”

Holding back a laugh at his word choice, you just sigh and console him. “That truly does sound like a shit show, I'm sorry that happened my love. Especially Carlotta, my spine has chills just thinking about what she sounded like, and not in a good way.” Erik gives a slight chuckle as you sit on the bench next to him. “Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

Sitting up Erik looked at you with eyes and asked “Can we snuggle please?”

“Of course my love,” quickly standing up you lead Erik by his hand to the bed. Once you got to the bed you laid down, he followed by climbing in next to you and holding you close burying his face into your neck. Slowly rubbing circles unto his back he slowly started to melt into you, finally relaxing.

You were about to fall asleep when he started to kiss your neck. “Erik, you should be relaxing.”

“Please, I need to worship you right now,” he begged into your neck as he started to put his hands under your clothes. Given you always got flustered when he paid attention to you like this, you could only muster up a nod. Soon enough his hands started to undo your clothing, all while his kisses on your neck never stopped.

Once your chest was exposed fully to him, he gently started to massage your chest. You couldn't help but let out some small whines as Erik kissed his way down to your nipple and popped it into his mouth. Gently rolling it with his tongue, his hands worked on getting your lower half naked too.

Once your whole body was exposed to him, Erik just gently ghosted his hands over your thighs to your waist and back down again. As much as you loved this you needed more, your hips slightly rolled trying to gain any friction they can. “Please Erik, stop teasing me.”

“No no, please, please let me bask in you. You feel divine.” he whined against your chest, barely letting your nipple go when he begged. You could tell tonight was going to be a long night for you.

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Immortal Beloved - Chapter Six.

Thank you to those still continuing to read and offer such lovely feedback <3

Previous chapters - Prologue One Two Three Four Five

Tag list - In the comments

Words - 3,619

Warnings - 18+ only. Adult themes + vampire content throughout. Minors DNI!

“That was five, weren’t it?” 

“Six. Mmm, definitely six. You are a bookmaker's bookkeeper, John. You should be good with figures.” 

His hands reached to grasp her waist, the tip of his tongue returning to her swollen clit. “I’m good with yours.”  

Chuckling softly, her nails combed through his hair. “That you are.” 

“Want me to keep going?” 

“Should you even need to ask!” she cried, her hips shaking as he sucked her bud. “You set yourself the challenge, and I fully expect you to live up to it. Just as long as your jaw still has feeling in it.”  

He paused, moving it from side to side before nodding. “All good.” She chuckled softly again, watching her lover wink at her, her head tipping back with a soft moan, the pelt of the wolfskin rug beneath her sumptuously soft. The fire beside them crackled as outside, the snow continued to tumble, both lost to the warm cocoon that was Bryn’s bedroom, and everything that continued to build between them.  

“Oh, oh my... ohhh!” 

“Six,” he muttered, gently blowing upon her puffy, well-stimulated sex. 

“Seven!” she barked on a laugh, hands reaching to stroke his face. “Do not sell yourself short.” 

“Whatever it is, I still ain’t done.” 

If Bryn could appreciate anything, it was a man who kept to his word. He told her that he wanted to see how many times he could make her come, a task she was very much the welcoming receiver of. Lying back, she enjoyed the keen exploration of his tongue, glimmers tingling through her folds as each lick gilded pure heat, dipping inside her, dragging slowly to circle her bud once more. 

“You look thoughtful,” she noted, panting hard as he steadily built her to sizzling ascension once more.  

“Just wondering how I should give you number eight. Tongue or cock. Hmm.” 

Her lips curled into a smile, weaving her fingers through his to grasp his hands. “Am I expected to choose?”  

Releasing her bud with a slippery pop, he placed a kiss upon her pubic mound. “No, but you will lie there and enjoy it.” 

“Mmm, that goes without saying.” Her purred words set his insides to quiver, John moving to kneel before her, grasping his cock and beginning to stroke the head through her soaking folds. It had been two hours since she’d last bled into a glass for him and still, his erection hadn’t gone down. There truly was nothing else in the world akin to having sex while bolstered on vampire blood.  

His cock snagged at her opening, spreading her as he slipped in, only giving her the very head while his thumb moved to stroke over her clit. Her back arched, her body desperate to feel him breach her further, John chuckling at her whine of indigence when he remained perfectly still.  

“Please, my beautiful creature. Do not tease me.”  

He held all the power of an ancient being entirely at his mercy, and for him, it was a first he knew he now would never cease to crave. Holding wrath over his contemporaries within the criminal underworld and beyond was one thing; having an ancient vampire lost under the sexual talent he bestowed upon her was quite another. 

He thought on it for a second, forcing a little whine from her as he made his cock bounce against her opening, deciding on mercy. He needed her just as much as she him, hands gripping her thighs, cock sliding into her fully. His gaze fell, witnessing how thickly the sparkling slick of her arousal glossed him, his hands keeping her spread wide.  

There was no room within his want for anything gentle, John quickly beginning to spear her hard, watching her breasts bounce from the force, a wanton groan rumbling in his chest. His mouth fell to her body, teeth sharp at her nipples, hands flexing upon her thighs as he drove himself back and forth, consumed by the clutch of her cunt around him.  

“You feel fucking amazing, I swear, Bryn.” he panted, his mouth everywhere, laying kisses of ravenous hunger at her neck, breasts and clavicles, the heat of it fizzing through him as she wrapped her legs around his waist, squeezing tightly.  

She felt boneless beneath him, spread around the thick of his cock, her fingertips mapping each rise and fall of his body, nails grazing his wide back. The way he rutted against her provided the perfect pressure against her potent little bundle, still slick and swollen from the incessant laving of his tongue.  

Wailing, her nails clutched upon his shoulders, lightning beginning to flicker at the base of her spine, pulsing out through her walls. It was as if somebody had set her nerves ablaze as she came, John following her as his light crested over her horizon, lying breathless in her arms, his movements slowing.  

They enjoyed the roar of the fire against their nakedness a while, returning to the bed, Bryn lying in her lover’s arms enjoying the stroke of his hands, looking up to see him shuttered in sleep after those attentive caresses had ceased.  

“Yes, my beautiful creature,” she whispered, kissing his cheek fondly, her nails gently stroking her head. “You have earned your rest.” Since it had been a time from when she’d fed upon him, Bryn felt the daylight outside pulling at her, her eyes fluttering before they fell shut. The fall of darkness brought her natural waking, turning to see him beside her, awake and smiling.  

“Hello, beauty.”  

Moving beneath the covers, she curled against him, the space warm from his body heat, her own skin no longer as cool as it usually was for his heat source. “Did you sleep well?” 

“Like a bloody log. Only woke up because I was hungry.” Right on cue, his stomach rumbled audibly, John closing his eyes tightly and muttering. “See?” 

“Come on, let us wash and dress and I can have Bettie prepare something for you. Only bother with your undershirt and trousers, by the way. Less to take off later.” She winked, and he smacked her bum as she rose from the bed, Bryn squeaking with a giggle. Those giggles only flourished further as she found herself chased by a very handsome, naked man. 

“Ah, no. That’s cheating that, bab,” he spoke, blinking and finding her vanished, only to return a second later.  

“You Brummie men and your use of the term bab as endearment,” she spoke, wrapping her arms around his neck, leaning to kiss his cheek. “I like it, preposterousness aside when one takes my age into account.” 

“Yeah, but you ain’t so bad for an old bird,” he teased, beginning to chuckle when she growled low in her throat, her smile widening despite the slightly eerie sound. 

“You are a cheeky one, John Shelby.” 

He leaned to her, kissing her forehead. “And you love it.”  

She couldn’t disagree there. 

They headed downstairs, Bryn finding that they had bread and other such things in plentiful supply, Bettie making John some sandwiches with the leftover chicken she’d prepared for dinner while the man himself went to make use of the telephone.  

“Hello?” 

“Alright, Pol. It’s the ghost of your nephew, calling from the other side.” 

John and his insufferable banter. “Ha, bloody ha. Very funny.” Pausing, she sipped at her tea, taking a seat in the office. “Well, you’re alright, so that’s something at least.”  

At least she could concede that much. “I’m bloody great, but I won’t be back tonight on account of the weather. There ain’t no way I’m getting the car out through nearly three feet of snow. I suppose Bryn could transport us down there herself, but...” 

“No point even if she can, John. Tommy is in Warwickshire, got snowed in up at the new house, so he and Grace shan’t be back until it thaws, and the ploughs have moved over enough of the roads to clear it. The kids have been having a wail of a time here. Snowball fights, snowmen, all of that.” 

He smiled, thinking of his little one. “Is Katie terrorising all the boys?” 

“That child has an arm on her like a bloody shot putter. Even the postman got a pelting!”  

Laughing, he imagined it. “That’s my girl. Give her a kiss for me, tell her I'll be back as soon as I can, alright?”  

“Shall do. Thanks for calling in, too. I might not approve of your new fancy woman, but at least you’re safe.” She wanted to add ‘for now’ to that, but thought better of it. Polly hadn’t heard that much contentment in his voice since before Martha had died. She could keep her reservations and worries to herself for that moment.  

Also, they’d heard back from Johnny Dogs, who had touted the question around his people. No shadow walker activity reported, but that didn’t stop Polly going back to her evening with a little trepidation over John becoming involved with her, for obvious reasons.  

For the man himself, though, those reasons had all very much ceased to exist.   

“I apologise for my overhearing, but it is pleasing that your aunt was only minimally sour with you on the telephone,” Bryn spoke, sitting at the kitchen table upon his arrival back, sliding the plate of sandwiches across the dark, polished oak surface. 

“Yeah, I think she might come round to the idea once she’s met ya.” 

“And who is this Katie that you mentioned? Your sister?”  

“No, that’s Ada,” he spoke, picking up a piece of stray chicken from the plate and popping it into his mouth. “Katie is my daughter, my only child from my late wife.” 

“Oh John, I am so sorry you lost her. What a pity,” she replied earnestly.  

“Thanks. You can’t be that sorry, though, cos’ I wouldn’t be sitting here with you now if she were still alive,” he asserted, taking a large bite from the sandwich. Ahh, freshly baked bread. His favourite.  

She smiled a little ruefully, reaching to pat his hand. “Be that as it may, it is still a tragic thing, for one to lose their spouse. Especially when so young. Did little Katie have much time with her mother before she passed.” 

He shook his head. “No, sadly. Let me get these ate, and I’ll tell you about it all.” Once he had finished, Bryn listened intently as he told her of his meeting Martha, his late wife while they were still at school. He detailed it all, their courtship and marriage, how returning to her was one of the biggest things that had gotten him through his time at war, arriving home to start a family.  

“I’d been home from France for ten months when Katie was born, this tiny, squealing thing I came back from the pub to find on her mother’s chest. Martha had started getting poorly about a week before she arrived, and she only lasted for six after the birth. Consumption. Never even got to watch our little’un grow. Fucking cruel, it was. I know you understand it. How old was Sigurd when Bjorn died?” 

“He was six when his father headed to Valhalla.” 

“When he what?” he frowned, unfamiliar with the word. 

“Valhalla. It is the place where our god Odin chooses only the best and bravest to ascend to and spend their afterlife. I shall tell you more about our mythology another time, though. It is quite the lengthy conversation.”  

“Ahh, alright. Did you have any other kids with him?” he then asked curiously. 

“I had always hoped for more children, but sadly the ones I held did not come to anything. They call it a miscarriage in these times, to lose the baby while in the womb still. I lost three times.” She paused, John reaching to stroke her face, Bryn covering his hand with her own. He saw now why she adored her vampire children so very fondly.  

She needed to change the subject, her eyes flitting to the large windows. “Shall we venture into the snow? It is so pretty at this time of year. A white Christmas, it appears. How splendid it shall be.” 

He fetched his boots, not bothered about a coat, wincing as he watched Bryn pad out barefoot. Of course, though, she didn’t feel the cold at all. He then snorted with laughter, watching her let out a little shout of glee, performing a few cartwheels as she laughed.  

As the snow collected upon her, the flakes fluttering from the inky purple sky slowly and landing upon her dark hair in a reverse dalmatian effect, he knew he’d never again witness beauty like hers. It was both physical and of spirit, Bryn so ancient and deadly, but her heart still so open to the purest of simple joys. She could decapitate a grown man within the blink of an eye, or cavort sillily in the fresh snow. The duality that existed was what pulled him in ever stronger with each moment. 

Just then, a snowball hit his cheek softly, John eyeing her from under furrowed brow. 

“Oh, you’re gonna catch a walloping now. No cheating either, no vampire malarkey. Just you and me, one on one.” 

She spread her arms wide. “Hit me with your best shot!” Scooping up a handful of snow, the chill biting upon his bare hands, he did, hitting her square in the chest as they began to pelt snowballs back and forth at one another. Their laughter filled the air, Bryn almost crying with mirth when he stumbled and fell, John recovering well to continue his onslaught.  

“Ahh, he brings a valiant attack, but surely he is no match for the throwing arm of a shieldmaiden!” she cried, hitting him straight in the face, another three following to his chest and thigh. “Oh, chilly tits, chilly tits!” she then exclaimed, shaking the front of her long, black dress when his aim meant a snowball landed in her cleavage.  

“You don’t feel the cold, you massive wimp!” he shouted, throwing another but missing. 

“I do! It just doesn’t bother me the same as it does you humans, or mean I want snow-capped nipples!” she laughed, throwing another, John suddenly running at her and knocking her into a huge drift that had gathered beside the bank of grass leading from the path. They hit the ground in a tangle, laughing hysterically, John eventually standing, pulling her up from her feet.  

Wrapping her legs around his waist, she looked down upon him, holding his face while they feel into kisses, kisses that gained heat as he carried her to the stone bench across the garden, giving it a kick to clear the snow before sitting down. 

“Have you ever enjoyed sex out in the snow?”  

“No,” he breathed, unhooking the front of her flowing gown, his hands grasping her breasts, “but I think I’m about to.” His mouth met her neck in a fever of kisses, Bryn gasping softly as a hand trailed down to press against her sex, gathering her dress more and pushing it behind herself before moving to undo his trousers.  

“The want you cause within me, John.” she panted, kissing him with feral need, grasping his cock and sinking down, the thickness splitting her wide, pulses glimmering as the heat of him radiated through her. His shuddered breath fluttered warm over her lips, their tongues entwining as she rolled her hips against him, his cock slipping to and from her with glorious friction.  

It was not that delicious fusion that stirred John the most, though, gazing at her as she rode him, his arms tightening their clasp around her body. 

"I've never seen anyone look as beautiful as you do right now, and..." His eyes squeezed shut, letting out a huffed breath as his jaw tightened. Those beautiful eyes, though. They did not match the tension in his face as he looked back at her again, fingertips trailing her delicate neck. 

 "What is it?" she asked, his sudden spiral a little concerning, watching the whisps of snowflakes melt as they landed upon his long, copper eyelashes. 

 "...and me head's fucking spinning, and it's too quick, but I fucking... I..." 

Resting her head to his, her thumbs skimmed his cheeks, over the golden flecks of stubble. She felt it flare through his blood still coursing through her veins, nuzzling him, her eyes shining like azure shards through the darkest known shadows. "I love you, too. You need not say it, John, because I feel it."  

 "You mean it?" 

 She nodded. "How could this old vampire here not fall in love with a man as utterly charming, charismatic and beautiful as you?" 

 He smirked. "And I've got a big cock." 

Her laughter filled the garden space, her face alight with the width of her smile. Some might have found his humour poorly timed, but not her. To Bryn, it was perfect. He was perfect. "And you have a big cock."  

 "You said I needn't say it, but I want to." He tightened his arms around her, kissing the tip of her nose. "I love you, Brynhild." 

There they were, the Peaky Blinder and the ancient Viking vampire, locked around one another, bursting with adoration. The snow continued to fleck them as it fluttered from above, the silence of the night only permeated by their soft moans of pleasure. 

Drawing back from him she studied him intently, moving her mouth to his neck. Her tongue slid in seductive tease over his jugular. “May I?” 

“You may,” he hummed, hands gripping the round of her bum. “You don’t have to ask.” His permission granted the pierce of sharp fangs, her mouth wrapping around the wound as she fed upon him, John once again feeling everything amplified in the wake of it. He’d once feared this, but now he only saw it as hugely sensual, for his lover to drink from his neck. 

A few haphazard drops of blood dotted the pure white of the snow with the hot stain of crimson, John looking on at her in wonder. There she was, his dark creature of the night, his deadly beauty, her teeth and lips stained and gleaming in his blood. She was a monster, a predator, the most dangerous creature on earth and god, how he loved her so purely and inexplicably for it.  

His mouth met hers with hunger, the needlepoints of her teeth lacerating his tongue and lips. Their kisses quickly became a bloody, fiery exchange, his groans gone to gravel as he felt the slick wet of her spasm around his cock. 

He could become very used to this. 

After all snow bound sex exploits had been enjoyed, there was one place Bryn knew she wanted to be, somewhere that would benefit her love greater, but that she would enjoy all the same. 

“Better?” she asked, lying back against his chest in her huge, claw footed bathtub, steam rising from the heat of the water. 

“Thawing out in a fucking great big tub, with a whiskey in me hand and a beautiful woman for company. Yeah, ain’t bad for a Monday, I suppose.” He closed his eyes, listening to the orchestral hum from the record playing on the gramophone, the open ensuite door open, allowing the soothing tones to filter through. “What’s this we’re listening to?” 

“Beethoven,” she confirmed, smiling. 

“Ahh. I ain’t good with classical stuff. It’s alright, though. Relaxing.” 

“It is. He was a genius, my darling Ludwig.” 

John’s eyes rounded, moving to look at her. “You knew Beethoven?” 

“I did, yes. He was a very dear friend. I was his muse, and to know that I have been the inspiration for some of the most beautiful musical movements ever written is an endless source of pride. What we are listening to at this moment, he wrote for me. Moonlight Sonata, for of course, I only ever visited with him under the moonlit skies.” 

He listened to the notes swirling, and somehow, he couldn’t explain it, but the strength and beauty truly did seem to capture the essence that was Bryn. “Were you two together? Listening to this, it sounds like he loved you about as much as I do.”  

Hearing the first movement continue to play out, she remembered back to being seated atop his grand piano when he had first played it to her, the joy in his eyes as he’d smiled through the candlelight at her. ‘This is for you, my dear, dear Brynhild. Mistress of the stars, commander of the moonlight.’ She remembered those words as if he’d spoken them to her yesterday. “We were not, no. Our friendship was very fond, but never sexual. It has been just shy of a hundred years since he passed, and I still miss him terribly.” 

John had to wonder whether he would still be such a fond memory to her, when his time to leave had come and gone and she still walked the earth without him. It was definitely a far ahead thought, but he couldn’t help but give voice to it in his mind.  

“Yes, I am certain you will be,” she spoke softly, John rolling his eyes. 

“Get out of me head, woman!” 

“I cannot help it; I feel these things in your blood. It is a long way off, though. For now, let us enjoy this moment right here.” 

He tightened his arms around her, kissing her cheek. “And then go back to bed and enjoy ourselves a bit more, eh?” 

“Mmm,” she hummed, turning to nibble his well-defined jaw. “I cannot think of a better way to spend the evening.”  

Neither could he. 

[unadulterated-syd]

sirus black x reader

this is my first sirius fic pls be kind !

leave advice if you'd like :)

warnings -> underaged drinking mentioned, doesnt happen within fic, unedited.

synopsis -> sirius shows you his collection of odd sentimental items :)

the dimly lit common room felt more peaceful tonight than most other nights, most of the other gryffindors were already delicately tucked in for the night.

typically the marauders, mainly james and sirius, wouldve kept the whole house up. however, tomorrow called for james— early quidditch practice, whilst sirius found himself boredly keeping you company.

he would let out an exaggerated sigh every couple of minutes, trying to get your attention, which had failed till just about now.

"sirius, youre driving me bloody insane. what do you want?"

your eyes barely left the fire to glare at him, only to see him stand up and wander off. though odd, sirius was always odd. therefore you did not bother to call after him, nor even look fully his way.

your eyes returned to the fire, until the cushion beside you weighed down once more. finally your head turned his way.

"darling, look through these with me will you?"

his petnames had always pissed you off when you were younger, you'd always had a large crush on him. that was until the two of you had drunkenly shared an evening together, and things changed.

youd never officially started dating, you were both too frightened to truly commit to anything.

you sighed, finally shuffling to sit facing him on the couch. in his lap rested a box of random junk, some records, some photos, even an old beer bottle.

"whats all this, pads?" you hummed delicately sliding your fingers over the rim of the box.

"you'll see."

he dug his hand into the box pulling out the old beer bottle, dawning a look of faux wonder as his eyes met yours.

"you remember this ol' thing?"

your eyes traced the bottle, shrugging, "sirius thats an old beer bottle, you expect me to remember all the beer we've drunk?"

"well tred carefully, love, you surely dont remember the first time we drank, together?"

"the.. uhm.. you kept that?" you raised your hand, taking the bottle from his hand and scanning it.

"duh, youre holding it." he had already moved on by now, "or the first queen album i convinced reg to listen to."

youd remembered that, hed been so excited to share the group with regulus, even though regulus hadnt expressed much excitement.

he went on with the items, swiftly describing every item as he did. the cutest of all was the idea that he held onto things from all his friends.

a guitar pic from marlene, something mary had 'thrifted him'— even though he had no recollection of what that meant— photos of them all.

he wasn't necessarily sentimental, however he felt it was rude to throw away things that could mean something to someone else.

he'd never ever thought the bottle you'd both shared was important, but a fraction of him believed you would have kept it had you had any less to drink.

you listened through it all, though your eyes stayed loosily trained on the bottle, you'd thought he'd forgotten. however, he was rather quick to catch on.

"d'you think i forgot?"

"honestly, yes."

he gave you a smile, his brow raising dramatically, "you take me as a fool then?"

"a fool? i dont think i said all that."

"oh you've totally ruined me, a fool!" he faked yet another pout, throwing himself back on the common room couch.

you groaned at him, quickly jumping to your own defense, "listen, im not calling you a fool, i just—"

"i know what you meant, dear." his look went back to you once again, not bothering to sit up. "only a dimwitted fool would've forgotten. im just the fool who was too scared to make it more."

"you the fool!" you laughed, it only caused a wince as he misinterpreted your demenor, "we're both the fools, sirius. we've been out here passed bed and not one of us has even begun to entertain the idea of being together."

"perhaps were both fools." he gave you a michevious grin, "fools in love."

"dont even try, black, that was awful."

"dreadful even?"

"definetly dreadful."

he grinned, leaning closer to you, as if to plead for a midnight kiss. but in turn, you stood up grinning at him, "goodnight, love, i'll see you in the morning."

"y/n!", he whined at you, but you simply continued. midnight talks turned out to be rather nice, especially when they washed away the fear you'd once had.

harry potter tags -> @goodoldfashionedluvergirl

marauders tags -> none

sirius tags -> none

leave an ask to be added to any tags.

requested by @goodoldfashionedluvergirl

tysm for the req eva !! hope you enjoy <3

[princelylove]

Totally agree with the sadism Noriaki (fanart usually drawing him too soft lol). I love how he always have image of an honor student, who couldn't done anything wrong but actually he is so much worst, a sadistic pervert. Jotaro is also a pervert but he is hide it well, only when you know him better, he show that side of his more. I think he is opposite of Noriaki on bed (who love sweet and slow sex), Jotaro quite rough, like he realise all his emotion into sex.

Btw beside Jotaro and Noriaki, who do you think like rough sex, and who like it soft and sweet?

Rohan already a weirdo in the manga/anime so I'm not suprised he is more pervert when he is a yandere. Do you think he also use Heaven's Door on you? Like write something about you will be with him forever or he just too confident about his charm so he won't use his stand.

~ 🏵️ anon ~

Rohan is too proud to use shortcuts like his stand. But, you know, taking a little looksie into your brain never hurt anyone. He’s just checking to make sure you’re capable of even liking him in the first place, tweaking your preferences if you don’t… But he really, truly, wants to adjust nothing more than he needs to. It’s beneath him.

Here's a random assortment, but it’s very clear I’m in a part five mood…

Giorno treats you rather delicately in normal, everyday talk. You sort of expected him to be rather affectionate during sex, since he hasn’t made any advances towards you sexually, but you’re sure he’s thinking it every now and then. There’s nothing else that could be on his mind when he eyes you for a second too long, but he’s never acted on it or expressed any sort of desire for sex before, so.. you should chalk that thought up to your frightened imagination. Giorno doesn’t do well with intimacy, he fears it’s the only thing people want from him, so he will avoid it until he’s sure you have absolutely no room to escape him. He holds himself over by insisting the only medical attention you need is from him. Little cuts, God forbid a broken bone, Giorno can fix it all- and he’s happy to. Never mind the fact that he has to break your leg even more to replace it, it’s just how his stand works. If you catch the way his eyes seem to brighten up a bit when looking at your wounds, keep it to yourself. When you finally get him comfortable enough for sex, he wants you to worship the ground he walks on. Become obsessed with him the way he is with you, see him as the young god he is. Trail kisses from the bottom of his feet to his hip and he’ll consider touching you. Sex with Giorno is slow and soft, he’s meticulous, and fully expects that kind of attention to come his way before he’ll consider doing anything to you. Giorno’s sadism rots his brain if he denies himself what he craves, and, could you really hold it against that pretty face of his? He wants you to bleed out, he wants you to writhe in agony, show him you’re a living being that can experience what he has to offer. He won’t hit you, but he’ll use whatever tools he can to make sure you’re aching by the end of his little indulgent sessions. 

Guido’s a bit of a masochist, but he doesn’t like all that dirty, degrading talk, he just really loves the physical pain. Talk to him like you love him while you’re digging your shoe into his chest and he’ll just fall deeper in love. I cannot see him as anything other than submissive, he just wants to do whatever you wanna do. Guido will roll on his back and take whatever you’re gonna give him as long as you reassure him that you’re doing it out of love and don’t resent him for snatching you up. He’ll give you head, he’ll let you penetrate him, he’ll do anything to keep you happy. The way he smiles as you’re carving a heart into his chest is chilling, if anything. This is the same guy that would track you down no matter how far you went- passione’s bloodhound. Yet here he is, face flushed like he just received his first nude picture, looking at you as if you’re walking down the aisle for him and not figuring out how to get this shitty carving job you're doing to scar as long as he wants it. 

Prosciutto’s using you for stress relief. He’s the type of man to make you wait on him hand and foot, literally. He gets off on your subservience, it’s exactly what he knew he wanted when he first got a reaaal good look at you. He doesn’t really care about after care, so you’re on your own to get your wounds all cleaned out. Prosciutto will backhand you if you file his nails wrong, hard. You know how much of a pain it’s going to be to get this filed correctly? Are you such a stupid whore that you can’t take your mind off of him for five seconds to do him the little favor of making his nails all nice and neat? He’ll forgive you if you get on your knees and beg for him to not be mad. If you’re stupid enough to actually get on your knees, you’ll figure out what italian leather tastes like.

[copias-sewer-rat]

Against the forces of Heaven and Hell, just us.

PART 1|PART 2|

Sometimes the friendships that you least expect to stick are the ones that stay with you the longest. It is up to you to keep them, cherish them, be sincere with your words and everything will be fine.

⸸tags: Good Omens AU, a tiny bit of angst, sexual innuendos and foul language, Copia shenaningans related to series and book Crowley. Around 5.6K words.

⸸ my masterlist ⸸ ⸸ read it on Ao3 ⸸ II. ME AND THE DEVIL

“But in the end it’s only a passing thing, this shadow; even darkness must pass.”

J.R.R. Tolkien. The Lord of the Rings.

----

Terzo Emeritus never wanted to be Papa. His father knew it and still, once his brother’s time was up as the head of the Satanic Church, Papa Nihil did not hesitate to give Terzo the position he knew he hated above all else. Being Papa had taken his two older brothers away and the youngest Emeritus did not want the same fate for himself, but he did not have a choice.

He wasn’t a bad Papa. His attractive appearance and charming personality had brought many new siblings of sin to the church. Nihil and Sister Imperator were delighted because of that. What they didn’t know, however, was that every night Terzo Emeritus cried himself to sleep, longing for the brotherly love that had been taken away from him so violently.

During his time as cardinale of the church, Terzo was instructed in every skill vital to the papacy. This instruction occurred in different seminars and monasteries all over the Italian country. However, he was naturally gifted in the ways of the satanic ruling, having observed his two brothers masterfully take care of the position while he was still a young boy who hugged their legs in fear. That mastery provided Terzo with more than enough room to practice his favourite hobby: fucking.

Terzo proudly had a long list of satisfied lovers under his belt. These lovers were the perfect distraction from his shitty life, the one that he hadn’t chosen for himself. Every time he fucked someone, the screams of his name in pleasure became the opium that kept him sedated from thinking about anything else, but all drugs have their downtime. Once the lover for the night was gone, Terzo was left on his own dark room, alone and afraid. The cold emptiness of the bed made Terzo’s bones ache and the hole on his heart got deeper and deeper. He thought of his brothers then. Were they so afraid and lonely as he was when they were Papas? And if that was the case, why did he never notice their pain? He could have helped, maybe if he did, they would still be right beside him and he wouldn’t be so terribly alone.

----

Rome, 1994, a calm and chilly October night. During one of his nightly hunts for a lover, Terzo’s steps led him to tavern, busy enough to find a fitting candidate to calm his mind for at least a few hours. The place was full enough to feel lively and cheerful, but not enough to feel drowned by the masses — not that Terzo cared much, he adored the masses—. He was hopping to become the center of attention the second he stepped in, the skull makeup that marked his position as the ‘highest’ member of the Satanic Church perfect and pristine. Despite that, there already was someone keeping everyone’s attentions. At the far corner of the bar there was a man dressed in what seemed to be a very expensive all-black Italian suit. His hair was pulled back with hair wax in a neat way, small sunglasses covering his gaze from the group of people that surrounded him. The first thought that came to Terzo’s mind about the stranger was that he was able to fully see everyone, but that nobody could truly see them. His second thought was that he wanted the earth to swallow him whole.

As if they had been reading Terzo’s thoughts, the stranger tilted their head upwards, looking directly at him. The people around were talking lively and didn’t even notice that their attention had shifted elsewhere. Furthermore, Terzo could have sworn that the stranger’s eyes glowed under their glasses. With a haste that was unlike him, Terzo approached the bartender, asking for a Bloody Mary, extra charged. He was going to need it. Sipping on his drink, Terzo started assessing his ground for the night, trying not to care about the stranger, who seemed to be back into the thrilling conversation with their many adoring fans.

There were a few people that caught Terzo’s attention: a tall dark man that looked like could crush him with his thighs, a couple of girls, probably best friends, who could be easily persuaded to corruption, but he finally decided on a lonely brunette that seemed to need the company that he could offer. So, with his characteristic charm he approached her.

“What is doing pretty little thing like you in a place like this all lonely? Please allow me to accompany you.” Terzo began. “Would you like another drink? My treat of course.” He continued, seeing that the lady was about to finish her rum and coke. The perfect excuse.

“Mmm, to be truthful, I am getting thirsty and this drink is all water by now. The company is just the cherry on top…” The girl teased, winking at Terzo. Bingo.

“I will be right back then. The same?” He asked and the girl nodded with a witty smile.

It took Terzo exactly a minute and twenty eight seconds to get the girl her drink, but when he got back the lady wasn’t alone, the stranger was talking to her, buttering her up. Terzo was furious, but he was also willing to prove that he was the better player.

“Hey, dolcezza (sweetness), here you go. A sweet drink for an even sweeter lady.” The stranger seemed to look at Terzo behind their glasses, brow raised.

“Were you with this man, cara?” The stranger asked.

“No, actually we just met. He offered to buy me a drink and to keep me company.” The lady explained.

“Ah, do you mind if I accompany you? It is quite lonely tonight for me as well…” Terzo was fuming at this point, but he was willing to accept the challenge. Whoever got the girl for the night would win and the other… well… would run away with their tail between their legs, lonely and humiliated.

“Of course, friend. No one wants to be alone on a night as beautiful as this.” Terzo spoke, an aggressive grin adorning his mouth, an acceptance of the challenge. The stranger nodded in appreciation.

“Grazie mille (thank you very much). Why don’t we introduce ourselves? That would warm us up a bit.” The stranger said, sipping on their red wine.

“I will start then!” The girl said. “My name is Aurora, but all my friends call me Ro.” The stranger smiled, delighted. Before he could say anything Terzo spoke.

“Ma chel bel nome! (It is a beautiful name!) It fits you perfectly.” The girl blushed a bit, a mixture of her growing intoxication and Terzo’s words. “My name is Terzo, Terzo Emeritus, but you can call me whatever you want, tessoro.” The stranger stiffened a bit to the mention of Terzo’s name, but he didn’t give a lot of importance to it. Maybe they knew who he was and that would give him the victory.

“And my name is Copia. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Copia took Ro’s hand and kissed it slightly. She giggled at the gesture. She was definitely enjoying the attention.

*cough* “Well, if we want to keep this moving, why don’t we play a little game?” Terzo suggested. “Two truths and a lie perhaps?” Ro put her hands together in excitement.

“Yes! I love that game! Whoever looses each round has to down their drink though! That makes it more interesting.” Ro proposed.

“Ah yes, it is as if you were reading my thoughts, cara.” Copia agreed.

“I will start then!” Ro stated. “One, I have broken almost every bone in my body… Two, I have never had a boyfriend… Three, I am not actually Italian!” Terzo blinked slowly, she was good.

“I will guess first, then.” Terzo spoke. “Mmm, it would be impossible for a beauty like you to have never had a boyfriend, but maybe you are a bit picky… You are definitely Italian, more specifically from Napoli, my ears do not lie about accents.” Terzo stopped, looking at Ro completely, from her very cute heels to the last hair on the top of her head, observing every part of her, making her blush again. “You are pretty fit, I assume that you practice some sport so you probably have broken a few bones, maybe most of them is a bit exaggerated but you can never know.” Terzo stopped again, pondering his options. “The lie is the bones one…” Terzo looked at Ro, tilting his head a bit, waiting for a response, turning then to Copia.

“I actually agree with him.” Copia said.

“Merda (shit).” Ro says, downing her almost full rum and coke. “That is going to hit hard later.” She laughed.

“As I have made all the effort, allow me to be next one.” Terzo said, Ro nodded and Copia extended his hand as if to say ‘go ahead’.

“Oh, let me get another drink first. You think about it!” Ro said, running towards the bar.

“You have a pretty good intuition… We will see if you are as good of a liar.” Copia teased, making Terzo close his fist in anger. He was having none of it, he was going to make them both tumble before him, drunk and pathetic.

After a couple of minutes, Ro came back, drink in hand, this time seemed to be a vodka lemon.

“Ready?” She asked.

“Of course. One, I am terribly good in bed. Two, I am the leader of the Satanic Church. Three, I have two brothers.” Ro laughed awkwardly, going a bit pale.

“I mean, it seems obvious, no? As extravagant as you look with that makeup, you cannot be the leader of the Satanic Church… that is the lie!” Ro responds, lightly hitting the table with her palm.

Inside, Terzo was laughing. He felt bold, powerful. He wanted to scare her a bit, but then, he looked at Copia. He was grinning, two shinning fangs poking from his painted upper lip. What froze Terzo in his spot was that he could actually see Copia’s eyes now, they were piercing his soul. One dark and the other white, just like his…

“You had two brothers, that is the lie.” Copia responded and Terzo went even whiter than he was with his makeup. Ro looked at both of them, blood rushing to her head.

As a response, Terzo drowned his Bloody Mary, which also made Ro down her drink, fear visible in her eyes.

“Okie dokie, my turn then.” Neither Terzo nor Ro moved, their drinks were empty, but it didn’t matter. “One, I own a 1968 Maserati Ghibli. Two, I have lots of friends. Three, I am a demon from Hell.” Ro didn’t even attempt to answer, she stood up from the table and left, stumbling into a few chairs on her way.

Copia was looking at Terzo, directly at him, he had taken his glasses off and now Terzo could see him.

“You are a demon… I am you don’t have many friends, that’s the lie…” Terzo said with a shaky voice.

“Correctto! (Correct!) Now I suppose I must down my drink.” Copia laughed, drinking the whole glass of red wine and subsequently savouring a few drops that had fallen on his chin. His tongue was long and a bit pointy, almost serpent-like.

Terzo said nothing, he had no words left. He knew of Hell, of course, he was its representative on Earth, but he never imagined to encounter a proper demon on Earth.

“You are a pretty interesting man, Terzo Emeritus. Even since you entered the tavern I could feel your presence amongst us, trying to hide in the darkness.” Copia spoke. “I know your soul is not tainted, even though you have been told so… but, I can feel the thunder that is breaking in your heart. I can see through the scars inside you…” His words sounded almost lyrical. Terzo Emeritus felt as if he was floating on a cloud, completely mesmerized by the demon in front of him.

“I-” He tried to say.

“Your brothers send their regards to you, Terzo. They miss you dearly.” Copia smiled.

“What- My brothers? What are you saying…” Copia rose from his seat.

“We will see each other again, do not worry, everything will be answered. Until then, enjoy…” Copia snapped his fingers but nothing happened. They took their exit, putting their glasses back on their face and smirking devilishly.

Terzo could not believe it. His brothers were…ok… in Hell but ok. Tears started forming in his eyes, there was no chance he would let them out though, not in public at least. He rose from his seat and as elegantly as he had entered, he exited.

“Hi! Sorry that I left so suddenly. I don’t know what came over me…” Aurora ambushed him at the door. “I know this is a bit sudden but I think you are pretty cute, could you perhaps show me those skills you were talking about earlier?” This definitely was Copia’s doing. There would be time for happy tears latter, now it was time for a celebratory fuck.

----

Maybe in you imagination Hell is like this awful place: torture, lava and heat everywhere… well, it is like that, don’t get me wrong, but it is more than that. Hell has changed plenty throughout the centuries, each time adapting to what Hell felt to humanity while period on Earth occurs. During the begging of the Industrialization, Hell looked more like a factory and in the last few decades it has turned its appearance into that of an office, one which you can never leave.

“I cannot believe that that fucking rat of a demon did it…” A bald man with skeleton makeup and horns shouted from the depths of a tiny office in Hell, watching static on an old television.

“He was our best chance fratello (brother), and he delivered.” A white haired man with wings and also skeleton makeup mumbled back.

“I just wasn’t sure about him, you know that you cannot trust their kind…”

“He has come a long way and now we are his equals, the least he could do was to hear us out.”

“Did you give him the scroll he wanted already?”

“Not until he puts us in contact with Terzo, like properly in contact.”

“Bene (good), we will make that old man regret his fucking decisions.”

----

30/8/2023

'Today Terzo Emeritus came to the store asking for Copia, again. As always, he was trying to flirt with me, saying how cute I looked with my reading glasses, how the light of the antique shop made my features even more beautiful. I cannot lie, I blushed a couple of times. On one of those times Copia came into the store, fists closed and steps heavy. He smiled at Terzo and asked him with a teethy smile to talk to him outside, to which Terzo agreed. He winked at me goodbye and I stayed inside organizing a new crate of antiques that had arrived just this morning. I don’t know what they talked about outside but when Copia entered again, this time alone, his cheeks were flushed and he had taken his glasses off. I greeted him with a smile but he just huffed and went to the kitchen. I worry about Copia, I don’t know if Terzo is the best company for him…'

You sigh. Terzo is a bit of a handful, but Copia seems like he always has a good time with him, so you at least tolerate him.

“Angel, what are you doing?” Copia pokes their head through the kitchen door.

“Oh, nothing special, just writing on my diary as always.”

“One day you need to let me read it. I am sure it is quite interesting…”

“Not really, but we spend a lot of time together. Most of the things I write about you already know…”

“Most!?” he says a bit offended “Is there something you are not telling me angioletto?” In a blink of an eye Copia is right in front of you, observing your every move, every flinch, every blush. The latter occurs, pupils dilating, one of the many perks (or curses) of your human disguise.

“Of course not! Why would there be?” You squeak. Copia looks at you with his lips and eyes squeezed, trying to discern if you are actually telling the truth.

“I know there is something that you are not telling me, I won’t force you to do so, however. Just know that I am always here to listen. I have pretty big ears just for that!” Copia mocks, putting his hands behind his pointy ears.

“What are you? The wolf from the stories? Will you try to eat me or something?” You say, and it sounds more flirtatious than expected. With regret, you back up instantly, waving your hands in a negative motion. Then, there is Copia. Their mouth is slightly open, blush adorning their cheeks, glasses slightly tilted and his white eye is visible, the pupil very much dilated. If you didn’t know better, you would said that he has suffered a short circuit.

It is even more evident when Copia vanishes in a cloud of smoke accompanied by a loud ‘poof’. You panic, he hasn’t done that for years. This will cost you an expensive dinner.

A light sound of steps echoes through the back of your store, getting more and more distant so you follow, you won’t let Copia escape that easy from you apology. The kitchen is empty so you try the storage room, the broom closet and lastly the upstairs bedroom. There, in a red scarf you use during mornings when it is chilly outside is a tiny brown rat with black spots on their eyes, tail, hands, feet and nose a light shade of pink, curled up in a ball. With all the gentleness you can master you pick up the cute rodent, cupping your hands as if they were a nest.

“Oh my dear! I am so sorry. It wasn’t my intention to make you transform. Please forgive me.” You weren’t quite sure what you had done for Copia to turn into a cute rodent after so long, but you knew it was quite embarrassing for him to do so. “Please turn back into your own self! I will do anything, I will even do the apology dance… please dear…” You murmur that last part, getting the little rodent close to your cheek, nudging at it lovingly. Its fur is soft and it smells like coffee. Copia probably had an espresso before coming to the store.

The rat that until then had been completely still rises to stay on two feet and smells your face, tickling it with its little whiskers.

“I’ll tell you what, if it makes you come back to normal sooner I will do the apology dance right now!” Placing the little rodent back to their self-made nest you back up, allowing them to see you fully and then you begin to dance:

“I am so sorry…” You sing while you swing your hands to the sides.

“I was in the wrong…” You continue putting one feet forward.

“It was a mistake…” Now the other feet.

“So now I dance…” You twirl.

“The apology dance.” And finish with a low bow.

Suddenly, from the red scarf appears cloud of smoke and a cross-legged demon seated on top, clapping.

“Truly beautiful. Each time you do it better angel. It wasn’t necessary for you to do the dance though, I just got a little flustered. Maybe I am under the weather or something.” The demon adverts their gaze as they speak. You smile candidly, you now that there is something else under those words, but if he doesn’t pressure you to show him your diary, you won’t tease him about this.

“Well, at least you are back to normal… Oh! I forgot to ask as you ran off so suddenly. What did Terzo want?” Copia exhales and comes down from the table where the red scarf laid, now a mess under the weight of his human bottom.

“You know that I have been helping Terzo and the band to prepare more music.” You nod. You hadn’t seen him much these last couple of weeks because he was very busy recording music with Terzo’s music group project, Ghost. “Well, the new record is almost done and after that there will be a new tour coming. He wanted to let me know that it will be happening sooner than expected, probably next month, so I will be leaving for a while.” Your expression changes then from that of a smile to a neutral expression.

It pained you immensely that Copia had to leave to tour again. You would be alone for months and it terrified you. Copia’s companionship had become your reality, your safe haven. Ever since he ‘took’ you from Heaven itself you two had been together, side by side, through the good times and the not-so-good ones. It was true that you both had your own hobbies and such, but you were always close, meeting for dinner or just to chat a couple times per day — and in the incredibly good days you would spend the entirety of the day together.— Copia touring was a completely different scenario. He would be gone for so long, he probably won’t have the time to call you much —it has happened before and he had to do the apology dance because you were worried sick constantly— and your intrusive thoughts would win again, making you cry like a toddler that has lost their parents at the mall.

It isn’t that you don’t trust him, well, you mostly do, but his nature is what worries you. According to Terzo, while on tour, Copia had the reputation of becoming some sort of sexual beast. Everyone wanted a piece of him and you were jealous. You had no reason to, of course, but you were. Thoughts of Copia sharing what you could not have with a random human that desired him was too much, but you never told or will tell him that. He is your friend and sometimes when you are not sure about your own purpose and everything is dark he is the light without whom you cannot see, he becomes your beacon of light, your anchor that grounds you to reality and without your anchor you fear you will sink sooner or later.

There is a realisation then, you have been quiet for a while and Copia is looking at you with worry but still waiting patiently for you to speak.

“I- It will be sad being here all alone again, I will miss you. Despite that, you have to go. You love being on the road with the band, you have said so many times. You will have the best of times!” A bitter smile adorns your lips and you advert your gaze. Copia keeps looking at you with worry, their glasses now on their hand.

“You could come with us… I am sure Terzo won’t mind and the ghouls want to meet you.” He whispers and it breaks your heart. ‘I wouldn’t be able to take it, dear. All those fans adoring you, begging for you to be with them and you complying to their most intimate desires… It would break me seeing it.’ You think, but instead you say:

“You know it is not for me dear, and I have things to do. There are still so many clues to find to the mystery to be solved. We are so close, I can feel it.”

“Angel, it has been like this for more than two thousand years… We know what is happening, there is a bet between Heaven and Hell. They are playing with humans for their own amusement… We know that.” You frown at Copia’s words.

“Dear…” You say very slowly and with a hint of anger. “We have talked about this before. There must be something that started this bet and if we find it maybe human will be free from their games, the bet will be over. However, if we don’t do anything humans will continue to be the pieces of this twisted game.” Copia crosses his arms.

“Frankly, I cannot even begging to comprehend why you still take Heaven’s side in all of this.” He says with a bit of poison on his tone and you scoff at his words.

“Do not change the subject!” You exclaim, your tone a louder than you expected. “I am still an angel. God must have some divine plan that will make sense in the end, she must have. I just don’t like how it is being done, I want to change it and you know that.” You explain but even you don’t believe your own words, they are simply an excuse for the pain you feel.

“You are so incredibly blind angel…” Copia says and the tears forming on your eyes are unavoidable so you turn your back on Copia so he doesn’t see how hurt you are. A gasp can be heard, Copia wants to say something but his breath halts for a second, leaving the room in complete silence. “Just… think about it, please.” Then Copia is gone.

If only he knew how much you thought about it.

----

“Is it really going to happen?” You beamed with excitement.

“Yes, any minute now. I was hopping to show you earlier, but there hasn’t been a good time for it. Despite that, we needed a break from the investigation so I made time for it.” Copia smiled, his cheeks red from the cold.

“Are you sure that you are ok? You seem to be handling the cold worse than me.” You grabbed Copia’s hands, trying to heat them with your own. Copia didn’t move for a second, his cheeks got even more red so you rubbed them with your own.

“I- I am okie dokie. Do not worry about me, angioletto.” He smiled at you, his eyes reflecting the light of the full moon, which was almost lost behind the very dark clouds that were covering the skies. “And more so, it needs to be cold for it to happen.”

You were so very excited. Snow was the first thing that Copia had taught you about Earth but you hadn’t been able to see it until now. You had been too busy investigating the locations of more scrolls, asking for help to translate them and trying not to get caught by Heaven and Hell —although the last one was the easiest to achieve. Your investigation had led you to Romania, a beautiful country with stunning buildings, charming nature and very friendly people. Copia had eventually found you there, same as all the previous times and you always fell into the same routine. He knew a lot about Earth and humans and you were really eager to listen. He had taught you about food, costumes, languages and such. Well, he didn’t actually teach you, he showed you. You thought you knew it all from the books you had read up in Heaven. The truth was that you didn’t know anything until Copia. He took you to eat, to public events, to social gatherings and markets. You didn’t remember ever having true fun until you met him.

“I actually wanted to also add to this little event with something of my own.” You rose your gaze, Copia had cut his hair a bit and was rocking a bit of a beard, but he was still the demon that you had grown so fond of. “We have known each other for a while now…”

“Around two hundred and fifty years or so.” You interrupted him and Copia laughed.

“Yes, I guess it has been a while…” He stopped for a moment, reminiscing about the time that you had known each other. “… and you really don’t know much about me.” You gave him a single nod. “Well, while we wait for the snow to fall I will entertain you with my story. W-well, i-if you want to hear it that is…” He stuttered as he enveloped your hand in his. “I would love to know more about you my dear, please, do tell me your story.” You said as Copia did gentle circles on the back of your hands.

“Si (yes), em, I am not exactly sure where to start if I am being honest…” He gave you a dry cackle.

“Maybe the beginning?” You teased and he laughed again.

“Vero, vero (true, true). You are completely right.” Copia smiled and then started his story.

“The first thing you must know is that I wasn’t always a demon. I imagine that you already knew that or you at least had thought about it. I wasn’t anybody important up there really, just an angel that helped with what they could. I was content, I really was, but inside of me there was something missing or better said, I felt like I lacked something essential to my very being. I didn’t know what it was. Then God created humans and everything began for me. I adored humans, I spent hours looking at Adam and Eve, observing their mundane lives in paradise. One day, they started something that intrigued me deeply. It is funny, I remember so vividly even today. You see, one afternoon Adam grabbed Eve by the hips and led her so as her back was pressed to the nearest tree, and then he started kissing her. When she jumped into him and he started thrusting into her I was completely hooked. It wasn’t only the nastiness of the act that entranced me, but also the feeling of closeness and love that they were sharing, pure and beautiful.” Copia stopped for a bit, gathering his thoughts. Your mind was racing at that point, you were so similar to Copia… it scared you so very much, but at the same time it made you feel like you belonged somewhere, with someone.

“I caught myself wanting to see them doing it more and more each time, their love and passion was contagious. I wanted to have that connection with someone. I know that angels aren’t supposed to have those sorts of feelings, it is not in us but I wanted it so badly that it intoxicated me to the point in which God found out about my lasciviousness. I was doomed, I felt that there was something wrong with me for wanting it and I fell. I wasn’t following God’s plans for me and she punished me for it. I was devastated but there was nothing I could do so I moved on. After a few years on Hell I was assigned to Earth… Hell itself isn’t the best place, I also felt like I didn’t belong there so maybe Earth would be the final destination, the place I could call home.” He stopped again to look at you. You smiled and he smiled back. It was ok for him to tell you all that, he knew, it was ok…

“I learned so much from humans, it felt like back when I was observing Adam and Eve. That curiosity gave me life, happiness and a a sense of purpose. One day, something happened to me, something I didn’t expect, I felt… infatuated… with someone. Her name was Sarah. She was one of the nicest humans I had met and to be completely fair the scriptures got our story all wrong. Sarah was engaged several times, but she wanted to be with me. I didn’t kill any of the suitors, I just nudged them away with some trickery. Well, then this guy came around, he was pain. Tobias or something I think his name was. He plotted alongside archangel Raphael to kick me out and bind me. In short, their plan worked, I was separated from Sarah and that is how I got to Egypt and how I met you in Alexandria. And that is mostly it, you know the rest.” As if on cue, snow started to fall and you both looked up to the skies, glowing with hundreds of little crystals that lighted the night.

“You were right” you sighed “I was going to like the snow.” Copia looked at you with a loving expression.

“Was it everything that you hoped for?” You looked back at his eyes, they were gleaming alongside the cold flakes.

“Even better… and…” you hesitated for a moment “I am sorry for what happened to you, it was unfair. If it is of any consolation, I yearn for some kind of connection too. When I get a bit of it I feel like a human that hasn’t drank water for days, I need it to live and I take and I take until I feel satiated. That feeling has been better since I met you though, so grazie (thank you).” You confessed and you can see tears forming in their eyes.

“Wow, you truly have a way with words mio caro angioletto (my dear little angel), and prego (you are welcome).” You nod, Copia nods back with a big smile and for a while everything stays silent, the only sounds around were those of the nearby animals crushing the falling leaves under their paws and the water sounds of a nearby brook.

“I forgot to tell you…” Copia breaks the silence “…when I fell I was given a new name thought I never liked it so I kept my angel name, Copia. As I was one of the earliest angels to fall, I became one of the Princes of Hell. My demon name is Asmodeous and I am the Lord of Lust.”

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I didn’t make anything up but I had to pick Copia to be Asmodeous because you know this fic is about lust but it is so funny that he had beef with a man named Tobias!? Like I fucking cackled like a seagull when I found out, it was too perfect. ANYWAY, there is more content coming soon, probably later tonight with a couple of drawings for the Emeritus’ brothers hehe. Hoped you liked this chapter and as always comments and feedback are greatly appreciated. I am already writing a part three as well as a short side story with our obliviously-in-love couple and their shenanigans. Have a good one!

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[grimalkinmessor]

I adore time travel AUs to bits and yours sounds very interesting! So L's realisation about his monstrosity is a slow descent, but how self aware is he once Light is no longer a child? Does he act on his intentions the moment he realises they exist with no remorse and the shame comes in later? Or does the shame stem from the fact he knows how f*cked up everything he's done is and still doesn't care, not really, not enough to stop?

And speaking about his relationship with Light. He "ingratiates" himself to this new version of him, but does he ever have to stop himself from throwing his unresolved frustrations towards the Old Light at the child? I imagine so, especially at first. He barely restrain himself from being the petty creature he is and at times maybe even doesn't and takes out on Light is subtle ways that can't be traced back to him.

Still, I think L would eventually start to miss the old, antagonistic Light. Adoration and peace are all well and good, but he'd received those before and responded with boredom, nonchalance or neutrality at best. Despite the supernatural task he was given, would L stir the pot to make Light the beast from his nightmare again simply because he misses his teeth? Or could Light develop into it even with all of his influnce?

God, if Light were to find out L is responsible for his family's murder...

Oh no, L has always known he's a monster! He's never denied it! :D He already knows that he's not the moral paragon that the Wammy Kids and the world sees him as—the descent here, the realization, comes from him knowing he's a monster, but subconsciously thinking that he's a smaller one than Light. Light killed him after all, so he'd definitely be the worst monster, right? Wrong :3 L realizes that what he's doing is worse than anything Light ever did on a moral level, but on their level? The game level? Light killed him. Light killed Watari. L only killed Light's family, he hasn't killed Light himself, so he hasn't technically sunk to Light's level in his mind.

It's only later, when Light is fully ingratiated to him, that L starts to recognize that what he's done....might be worse after all. Not that it causes him much moral distress tbh—it's just a fact he's uncomfortable facing because now he feels like he might've fucked up the game. He's got what he truly wants though, and he wouldn't really regret it either.

As for if L takes out his anger on Light: no. For multiple reasons. The first of which is that by the time he sees Light in person again it's been literal years since he first came back to the past, which has watered down his fury to sorrowful annoyance and only heightened his obsession. The second of which is that L knows he can't do anything like that to Light while he's grooming endearing himself to him; Light is smart and newly traumatized and wary, if L started hurting him (even indirectly), Light would notice and immediately clock him as a threat. Which is literally exactly what L wants to avoid.

Besides, by that time L is happy to see him ^^ A little Kira is very interesting indeed, and L has missed his perfect match more than expected to. He's still gonna psychologically fuck him up though. Them's the breaks.

As for whether L would miss the "Old" Light....yes and no. He doesn't really see the "Old" Light and the "Newer" Light as separate people; both of them are still Light, almost in his entirety. Old Light had a Death Note, and Baby Light hasn't yet reached his threshold of apathy :3 That's all. Little Light is still a manipulative genius, full of ego and spite—he just has some trauma now that has led him to circulate all of his turbulent emotions around the people he finds interesting, instead of just shoving them down and pretending they don't exist until they really don't :) Little Light is not bored of the world yet. He's not bored of emotions and love, and now he'll never find them tedious, because L ripped that away from him by killing his family :) He'll always be petty and arrogant and vicious, but now he's more open emotionally than he would've been otherwise.

Speaking of Light's family! L never gets caught out for that! Because one of the first big things L does to endear himself to Light is help Light catch the arsonist that caused the fire—by planting evidence and false trails to lead Light right to the patsy he set up to take the fall for it ^^

From there, once revenge has been had, Light's family kind of,,,,fades from his mind. L has made himself a very big figure in Light's life, essentially replacing his family as the person Light is most frightened to lose and most willing to listen to, and every reminder of the Yagami family gets erased so that L can more effectively do that. Light is only six when he first comes to Wammy's after all; memories fade quick when you're that small :') So if he found out later, as an adult, it would've been long enough that he wouldn't really care.

This whole AU is essentially just. A yandere Light being raised to be exactly that by an equally if not more so yandere L.

So. When Light is once again in the form L remembers him in (seventeen year old body with a wicked wicked mind that makes even death gods wary) I very much think he'd make a move. By that point Light has been in love with him for years, so as soon as L feels any sort of reciprocation they'd get together faster than you could blink. No hesitation.

...Save for maybe A trying to stall him.

[rake-rake]

On students & magic.

Merlin didn't truly take on students. Capricious thing she was, it was simply too rare for her to ever take on a liking to someone enough as to want to teach him, and even if she did it would be even rarer for the person to have aptitude for it. She only ever taught people for two reasons: either she liked the person, or she simply didn't have other choice, which encompasses all of the 3 people she ever taught.

Vortigern. She didn't particularly want to, but she wasn't opposed either, yet she didn't have much choice either. Yet, he was never truly a proper student due to him being an adult and she a kid back then, besides of the constant of his sound dislike for her. He had also already learnt from Taliesin before, so all she did was teach him the bases of "dark" magic such as necromancy and blood rituals, which was enough for him to figure out whole new applications and possibilities by adding it to his previous knowledge. She thought he was a prodigy, and was saddened he didn't intend to learn more from her.

Uther. She offered to teach him herself. To her, of course, Uther is the pinnacle of what an human and king should be, thus she was thrilled to share her knowledge with him and ecstatic when he showed outstanding aptitude for it. She taught him everything she could and took great joy on his positive reception.

Arthur. Just obligation of doing her best to keep him alive. Unlike Vortigern and Uther he had no aptitude for dark magic which was highly disappointing, but then she never expected anything from him. She limited her teaching to botanical knowledge, divination, and similar things only.

Now although these are the only ones she's ever taught, it doesn't mean she would never teach anyone else. Yet, there's a very specific set of requirements the person must fulfill for her to do so.

He must be a man, non negotiable. Exactly for the reason one would think.

He must be fully human, no magical blood of any sort mixed in. Merlin despises magical creatures of all kind, with fairies being the worst. The only exception to this are the Pendragons.

He must be royalty of some kind. It doesn't matter how low or high on the line, but there must be status in his blood. Because she's a royal mage, naturally she would never serve a peasant.

He must be an incredibly determined person, a warrior of some kind. She would never teach a coward that can't stand by himself. She will teach him magic as a complement to what he already has, not to be all he has.

She must like him. As simple as that, yet she only ever truly likes people who's wicked of some sort. (See Uther).

All of this is of course in order to properly take a student. However, she's still likely to drop small pieces of knowledge here and there in different situations. She takes great joy on watching men suffer, so she often will share knowledge that will be too much for them to handle, knowing very well it will mean their self destruction. Of course, it is their own fault for following through; human greed knows no boundaries.

[horrorshow]

hi suzy, happy wincest wednesday :) I know we share a love of protective!Sam -- when do you think that started happening in their lives? Did Sam have to get taller first, lol, or was it some story/life event that precipitated little brother starting to watch out for big brother?

happy ww liz!

i don't think sam's height has anything to do with it actually! i don't think sam thought of himself as stronger or more capable than dean at all. as a kid, sam always looked up at dean, and sam never fully grew out of seeing dean as a hero, so, it's not about that.

easy answer is of course that john trained them from a very young age to never trust anyone but each other. so due to the way they lived and the amount of danger they encountered on a daily basis, sam has always been more protective of dean than other siblings would be. and dean was very protective of him, while sam tried to be just like his big brother, so he wouldn't hesitate to protect dean in turn.

but besides that, i think sam's protectiveness of dean specifically developed hand in hand with his rebellion against john and hunting. and i imagine that started when sam was old enough to stay home alone, while john took dean 'away from him' on hunts.

i can't imagine how horrible it must have been for sam, as a kid, to be all alone in a motel room, waiting for his only family to return, not knowing IF they'd even return, being fully aware of the danger they were in, how often he must have waited impatiently for the promised 'we're okay' phonecall that wasn't on time, or dean and john returning hours or days later than planned, not in one piece, sam running to get the first aid kit, wounds, broken bones, stitches, bruises, all kinds of injuries, dean either too hyper or too quiet or completely out of it, but never truly the dean sam knew. anyone who has ever been worried about a sibling like that, or saw a sibling in serious pain knows that stuff stays with you. it's horrible. and when that person is the only long term relationship you have outside of your dad... there's so much to lose.

i have one very specific mental image of sam coming home from school in the middle of the afternoon, to a bruised and bloodied dean - just back from a long hunt - in dirty clothes asleep on the couch, looking hurt and exhausted and vulnerable, with sam staring at him, at first VERY relieved that he's home safe, but that fast making place for an anger on how UNFAIR and wrong it all is, how NONE of this is normal, combined with sam's constant uncertainty and anxiety and fear, suddenly wishing fiercely for a normal life where he and dean are both safe at school instead of having to deal with any of this, i think sam felt FURIOUS in that moment and that it shocked him how much anger he could feel towards hunting and his dad for doing this to them.

basically, sam tried to win dean back from john. not because sam thought dean was incapable of looking out for himself, but because dean belonged with sam. because sam would love him better. because with john there was always the threat of danger. so... his protective streak started as a bit naive and selfish, but i'm 100% convinced that it came from a place of love bc he was aware of how messed up their lives were, and bc he cared for dean and wanted him to be safe.

(and of course, it was never simply just about that. sam felt lonely and an outsider in his own family and he missed how close he and dean used to be. and a part of him tried to embrace hunting the same way dean did, but finding himself unable to, and a part of him was jealous of dean's special bond with john, making him feel even more cut off. his feelings for dean and his dad were always complicated)

i think sam always hoped, and even expected, that dean would eventually see the light and join his side. that dean would stop seeing him as his kid brother, but would listen to him and agree with his reasoning, and whatever they'd do next, they'd do it together, as equals. and that dean would somehow be grateful for it. so if he convinced john to postpone a hunt or go alone, so he could have dean with him, and dean could rest and do some homework and they could have fun or even if he was just hanging around or they'd argue or if dean stayed out all night, sam knew he'd come back in one piece to him with jokes and stories to tell him and that's what mattered. every win sam could get for dean like that was also a win for himself. in sam's mind they were supposed to be on the same team fighting the same fight, even if he had to do all the work himself to pry dean from john's hands.

but, one problem: sam was a kid, and he only ever looked at it from his own perspective, he didn't understand why dean did what dean did or what dean needed. he naively thought nudging him in the right direction would be enough. sam didn't understand why dean kept choosing john's side, didn't understand why dean didn't stand up for himself more, couldn't rhyme dean's obedience to john with his concept of the heroic big brother who could do ANYTHING he set his mind to. and with every year that passed they only drifted further apart bc of this, until it exploded.

but despite stanford and all that happened since, i love how sam only grew more protective of dean, in newer and even more bizarre ways, and he eventually got dean exactly where he wanted him, safe and happy at his side😌❤️ so it all ends well when it ends well! for a while at least :/

[bravevolunteer]

MICHAEL + SEXUALITY ( aka the gay gay homosexual gay meta )

note: the time frame as well as mentions of "relationships" are by DEFAULT. they may be altered according to certain ships that would either have to speed up the process of his questioning depending on where they're placed and/or negate any mentions of intimacy that are placed while said ship is established. homophobia and suggestiveness cw, though both are only mentioned.

for michael, coming to terms with his sexuality was a journey uniquely separate from most things in his life, but it took him a while to fully realize and accept. he never thought about it much when he was young, though the idea of anything beyond heterosexuality was hardly ever discussed in hurricane, utah, if at all. any mentions were usually met with either hushed words or blatant homophobia— although michael was too young to understand that when people had already started commenting on his close friendship with charlie emily, teasing about how they'd end up together one day ( always met with a resounding ew, no! ). still, michael got the heteronormativity message just as everyone else did, not realizing there was ever another option until old enough to understand what those insults meant.

he seemed late to show any interest in girls— when proudly proclaiming that no, he didn't like anyone in his class no longer seemed to work as the type of friends he surrounded himself with actually began to talk about it, he would make his own thoughts up on the spot ( how long would it be until they stopped thinking him picky and turned on him for being different? ). he shrugged it off, figuring he would come to develop crushes as time passed.

michael didn't, not before or after the mistake that turned his life around for good ( though he would years later come to realize how he felt around a friend or two before he lost them was decidedly not the most heterosexual ). with the rumors spread around him and michael closing himself off to most, he didn't expect anyone to show interest in him anyway. his first real experience was at some party ( not usually one to be invited, but it was always an easy way to get fucked up and out of the house ), where he ended up making out with a girl due to some game he barely remembers. he didn't feel much besides awkward, blaming it on the both of them being drunk and not truly interested in each other, though there was an exhilaration to someone not turning away from, but pursuing him. michael would easily confuse attraction with the thrill of feeling wanted, less monstrous.

that's what most of his experience through his teenage years consisted of: despite copious rumors surrounding him... getting around ( because he was a delinquent in small town utah, of course— ) the most he ever experienced was loosely fooling around with girls, usually intoxicated and typically pursued for the appeal of seeming forbidden. despite the allure that came with feeling desired, michael would always find an excuse to back out before things went any further. he chalked it up to a fear of intimacy. after all, he never had an official relationship, always cutting the rare potential connections off the moment they seemed to grow too serious: he had too much going on, refused to allow himself to grow close with anyone, this must be for the same reasons.

there were always signs he never caught— being more transfixed by a boy he'd meet smoking outside than he ever were any of the girls he was with, who his gaze would linger towards in movies, any thought he would shamefully bury. he only began to truly put those pieces together around his last year of high school/as a young adult, taking a while to find the words to put to them. even as he slowly did, it was difficult to accept. he didn't exactly have family left to worry about, but the hostility of both his environment and the time period ( rampant homophobia of the 80's/early 90's was absolutely factor of how long this took him to accept without denying every consideration ), as well as... his plethora of already existing issues got in the way.

although there came a point where he was aware of his sexuality even if he wasn't inclined to acknowledge it out loud. in the few years that he managed to move away from hurricane before the events of sister location, he DID have a few experiences that could only be described as situations: again nothing officially labeled as a relationship, though at least one may as well have been, while others were strictly hook-ups. it was all very secretive and complicated for both usually, even if there WAS mutual yearning for more. the conditions of the time, michael's self-destructiveness, and potential issues on the other end often got in the way.

being pulled back to his hometown and into the fray of his past put a swift end to ANY connections with others at all, never mind romance. in a strange, roundabout way, being scooped almost helped him fully accept his sexuality: if he is going to be isolated from the world until he fulfills his last purpose, if he's never going to get the chance again in the first place, what's the point of trying to deny the fact that he's gay?

— for unscooped au, this mostly still stands, but more due to natural passage of time while ALSO still having that laser-focused goal that hardly leaves him room for connecting with others anyway.

all things considered, it's an anticlimactic conclusion, but there is an, albeit odd, sense of relief and peace that comes with that final acceptance and willingness to self identify as queer.

[quixot1sm]

can we hear about like. n and hilbert. specifically in the hilbertverse. you mentioned them being fast friends and im likeoh..... like. it makes the games even more devasting. and i want to hear about it

n and hilbert good god n and hilbert. very very long summary ahead because jesus there's so much to them.

so like- yes, their first impression upon meeting each other was very much a "this guys not like anything i've ever encountered before. i wonder what his perspective is." which is a nice way of saying wow this guys weird i would love to study him. and despite their clashing opinions on how the world should be (humans and pokemon cohabiting vs humans and pokemon being separated entirely), their shared genuine passion for the well-being of pokemon meant that they listened to each other. before meeting, n had never expected anyone claiming to be a trainer to actually care for their companions, and hilbert had truly never recognized that there were people out there who mistreated pokemon, or took the time to consider the ethics of battling and capturing...

aside from that too, n and hilbert connected in a way that they just hadn't with anyone else. they're both socially awkward, they have reasons for sometimes feeling like outsiders, they both have an undying curiosity towards the world around them. hilbert wasn't an inherently gifted battler like his sister, but he was and is very knowledgeable about pokemon as living beings. he loves them! and n can understand them even better than he himself can, that's as incredible as it is fascinating. and n, even with his disdain for humans, finds himself relieved and enthralled to have found someone like himself, someone who engages with him as an equal.

the two of them almost immediately come to enjoy spending time around one another. they have a lot to talk about- experiences and thoughts so far removed from the other's own that it's sometimes difficult to grasp, but definitely worth hearing. hilberts really excited to have bonded with someone new so shortly into his first real venture into the world on his own (and like... a pretty, charismatic person at that, but that's... well he'll package that away until the time's right, probably). ns found his first genuine relationship with another person, and he can't help but be happy with this.

by nimbasa, n really, truly believes that hilbert's understands them and where theyre coming from, and that if they reveal their association with team plasma, everything will click into place, and hilbert will join their cause alongside him. but when n tells hilbert this... he can't. he just can't. his pokemon are like family to him, and he can't stomach the thought of abandoning them, or the other trainers and pokemon who care about each other being separated just to stop the despicable few. n is crestfallen. and honestly, hilbert is too.

there's something very, very wrong with plasma, and n is oblivious too it. they have to be- hilbert knows n well enough at that point to know with certainty that something is going on behind their back, as hes witnessed firsthand plasma committing acts that n would never forgive. and besides.. n is fully aware of how important hilberts pokemon are to him and vice versa. the idea that n would want, and given the power, force them to separate is a heavy blow.

as much as it hurts both of them, this is where their friendship basically dissolves.

in the aftermath, heartbroken and desperate to ascribe some role that makes his bond with hilbert make sense, n latches onto the idea that perhaps hilbert is his counterpart- destined to face him in a battle for the fate of the future. for hilbert, that sucks even more! he doesn't want to hurt n, oh god he really doesnt. but n continues to mythicize the both of them and their relationship, and n found and was accepted by one of the legendary dragon pokemon, so hilbert faces the hard reality that he has to play into the role.

he's still reluctant as hell, his desire to protect everyone wavering as he tries to determine if stopping n is really the right thing to do, because as much as he hates to admit it, n's right, there ARE people out there who neglect and abuse pokemon, and there always will be as long as people and pokemon live together. can he in good conscious allow that to keep happening, just because he doesn't want him and his friends to be separated? is he being selfish? he's so uncertain in his ideals that zekrom doesn't awaken for him until the very last minute- only after his resolve solidifies upon seeing n's room does it recognize him as its hero.

hilbert's heart breaks for n even as he seizes victory from him. he really does love him, as a friend and otherwise, so to crush his dreams so thoroughly... n, meanwhile, even though n is certainly deeply disappointed in the outcome, looks at hilbert and sees the very incarnation of idealism. even in the face of truth, he strives to change the world in spite of it. and what could make someone more worthy of the title of hero than that?

then, hilbert gets badly injured in front of n, and suddenly n is beyond terrified. devastated by the revelation of how meaningless and fabricated their whole life, their whole identity, everything had been, and now the reason why his friend is suffering, n runs away.

he's upset, frustrated and hurt, but hilbert can't even bring himself to blame n. in fact, he feels horrible for upending his world the way he did, and he's scared because he doesn't know where n is or what they're going to do, or if ghetsis is planning to hurt them. it takes much longer than he would've liked to get anything to go off of, but eventually interpol relents and passes information of potential sightings along to him, and he finally sets off to try and find n. mostly, he just needs to talk to him and make sure he'll be okay.

unfortunately... he does not get the chance to do so. when he flies back to unova in a panic after receiving some kind of distress signal through zekrom, he's ambushed by ghetsis, and consequently sent into a long, comatose-like state within the dark stone.

n, during this time and as previously mentioned, balances their own self deprecation with total idolization of hilbert. hilberts no longer a person them- instead, he's a concept in human form, sent by the universe itself to open the world up to n. this obviously is suuuper unhealthy, but with hilbert gone (and dead, according to ghetsis during the climatic confrontation of bw2), there's not much to challenge n's way of thinking. that is until about 7 years since they last saw each other.

to describe what it's like during the kyubert arc.... is difficult. at the very least, the illusion that hilbert is more than human is shattered- he's painfully so, and he's real again, unlike the deified version of him that n had created in his mind, and that's horrifically evident. they're frozen to the spot, unable to act without extreme risk and thus helpless to do anything but look on and listen.

despite the absolutely terrible, mind melting situation hilbert is in during that time (re: locked in an alien fusion where it's near impossible to separate his mind from the two ancient dragons, overwhelmed mentally emotionally and physically, just having a horrible time) the conscious part of him sees that n is safe. their presence brings him comfort, even through that.

AFTER canon... well. n stays with him this time. after all that, you'd have to pry them from hilberts side with a crowbar. and hilbert, with a shoulder to lean on and someone who understands, even abstractly, what he experienced and how he now feels to try to live as a normal person, is more than glad to have him.

16 minute epic that encapsulates everything about their arc methinks

[noxsoulmate]

Art made by: @chaotictarlos 💕

I finally finished my alternate reconciliation fic 🥳🥳 it's now with my beta and I really hope to post it sometime in December.

This fic was supposed to just be a 5k piece of TK taking care of drunken Carlos while they're broken up... and it exploded to a 22k work 😅😂 So I hope you're all willing to read that many words of TK and Carlos finding their way back to each other, with long talks and lots of emotions 🥰

If you aren't on my tagging list yet and would like to be added (either in general or just for this fic), let me know.

As a little teaser, have the beginning of the fic 😊 (under the cut)

PS: I still love you, too

The phone call at one in the morning came out of nowhere but it was a welcome distraction from TK’s fitful slumber. Why he even bothered really trying to sleep was beyond him – he never truly found any rest nowadays.

Still, the time was rather unusual, and most of the time, it didn’t mean anything good. Especially not when it came from an unknown number. Bracing for the worst, TK tried to shake out the cobwebs in his brain and answered on the fifth ring.

“Hello?”

Before he even heard a voice, he could hear music in the background and some chatter, laughter, certainly a small crowd – typical noises of a club or maybe a bar or something. It didn’t make sense to his sleep-addled mind. 

“TK?” came a familiar voice, even though he couldn’t place it. “You mind stopping by to pick up your boyfriend?”

TK wondered if he had even fully woken up because none of this made any sense. No sense at all. “Who’s this?” he finally slurred, rubbing his eyes and sitting up fully, putting his feet on the cold hardwood floor. Maybe that would help him see more clearly.

“Oh, sorry,” the voice replied, and for a moment, TK was sure that out of the ruckus going on in the background, he heard an even more familiar voice. “This is Katy from the honky tonk. Carlos is here and he’s pretty sloshed and I can’t let him drive like this. Are you on shift or can you come and pick him up?” 

TK was glad he was still sitting because out of everything he had expected – from his mother being in the hospital, to his father being lost somewhere in the hills and calling from an unknown landline, to a simple prank caller – this was certainly not high on his list.

“I– I’m sorry… what?”

“Shit, sorry, can you even hear me? It’s pretty loud here tonight, hang on–”

“No, no, it’s fine,” TK interrupted, taking a deep breath to center himself. “No, it’s okay. I was just… I mean… uhm, Carlos and I–”

Carlos and he what?

Were taking a break? Were over? So please call someone else? 

TK still hated himself for what he had done to the man he loved more than his own life – he certainly wouldn’t deny him any help. Even if Carlos most likely wouldn’t ask for it himself. After everything TK had done, it would be a surprise if he wouldn’t strangle him the second he saw him. Though on the other hand, Carlos was far too nice a person for that, so it was more likely that he would just ignore TK.

But none of that mattered when Carlos needed him – and it certainly wasn’t anything he needed to discuss with Katy. Who, obviously, was still in the dark about the two of them. They hadn’t been at the Honky Tonk together in weeks, for obvious reasons, but Katy didn’t seem to find that odd.

Besides, if Carlos was truly sloshed, then maybe he wouldn’t even realize it was TK who helped him. Because if he would, TK was pretty sure he would resist.

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[kurotm]

@lunaetis writes: eden was feeling particularly playful. if she had a tail, it would be swishing about mischievously when she approached the other. silent were her footsteps, as she ambushed him from behind, locking him in place with her arms and hands — only for her to tilt her head and parted her lips, sinking her fangs right into the part of skin that was visible for her. crimson insignias in form of her teethmark immediately appeared following the bite. she grinned, looking like a proud puppy catching a rabbit.

despite being with his sister, the raven kept mostly to himself. but one thing was clear to everyone in the ASTRAL EXPRESS.

kiyoshi did not like being touched.

NOT AT ALL.

even light contact was enough to make him flinch, one of the rare times that he ever expressed emotion. one that of shock, then came one that of irate, but right after being a quiet “sorry” before heading off to anyone’s guess. in a way, he was like DAN HENG, but more closed off from the others … and possibly the world. just a man of few words that gave off a COLD feeling towards others he interacted with.

but that facade of his was an EXCUSE to hide away his true self.

just like what he was hiding underneath his clothing: scars from a past he dared not to remember.

parts of humanity stolen from him, in favor of seeing what a normal body could handle with their … experimental peripherals. horrific enough for him to try anything to BLOCK those memories out, enough for him to be unable to look at his own reflection without showing a hint of disgust. regardless, he had to accept the harsh reality he was part of now. 

it was part of his flesh now, and forever it will be.

and he believed no one outside the EXPRESS would accept him.

at least, that’s what he thought … until he met EDEN. 

she was different from the others … way different than he expected. besides those golden hues of her that had him in awe, there was more of her that he heard about. having a STELLARON inside her, to draw power from other PATHS, her supposed connection with KAFKA of all people, she was truly a mysterious, yet POWERFUL individual.

then he saw her hidden side.

there are many ways he can describe her, and any assumption he had of her when they first met went flying out the window. eden was somewhat like march 7th, except way more OUTGOING and MISCHIEVIOUS. even though she had the CANCER OF ALL WORLDS, it never really stopped her from interacting with others.

and for some reason, the raven felt drawn to her. 

he didn’t know when or how, but it was just like that.

she was a little annoying when they first met, then time passed as he began to feel more COMFORTABLE around her. from small talks to leisurely hang outs, her presence alone was enough to warm his heart. but doubt still plagued after all that. the BIGGEST one being how she’ll react when he shows what he really looked like underneath. to be rejected by her would just be an absolute nightmare for him.

but then again, was having metallic prosthetics worse than a literal seed of disaster?

to make a long story short, as their relationship grew, all was revealed. their secrets, their insecurities, their … feelings towards one another. awkward at first, yet progress was made the CLOSER they got. to fully describe what their intimate bond is, think of a brooding man in black handling his raccoon dog with so much tenderness and care.

so what could’ve been the raven usually rejecting physical contact was instead WELCOMED in open arms as he allowed eden to sneak up on him. he didn’t even need to turn his back to see who it was the moment he felt her teeth slightly nibbling through his exposed skin. all he could do was respond to that puppy-like smile with a smile of his own, bringing her close to him with a firm but warm embrace.  

❛ missed you, eden… ❜

she was an ANOMALY in this ever-expanding universe, but that’s what he loved about her.

UNPROMPTED!