#and neither are Crowley or Aziraphale

[rainbowpopeworld]

Funny headcanon I thought of today:

If Crowley celebrates Christmas*, he does it on the day that Jesus was actually born, not in December. And Aziraphale is happy to go along because it means twice the celebrating.

* and I’m not convinced Crowley does, except the things that Aziraphale cajoles him into because Aziraphale likes delicious food, music that isn’t bebop, pretty decorations, etc.

[lineffability]

sometimes I see people calling Aziraphale selfish in an accusatory way, as if it's a flaw that needs to be smoothed out, as if it isn't a trait that is at once defiant and emancipating, as if his selfishness isn't mostly wielded in an empowering and kind way, as if it's categorically bad to want things for yourself, to enjoy them, to have and keep them, as if selfish isn't the most revolutionary thing an angel can be

[good-soupmens]

Something I noticed in the confession is that they don't REALLY respond to what the other is saying

Crowley says "run away with me" and Aziraphale says "come with me to heaven"

Both are saying "be with me" but neither stops to figure out why the other wouldn't want to go

Crowley says "you can't leave this bookshop" and Aziraphale says "nothing lasts forever"

Crowley thinks he ended it.

Aziraphale says "we can make a difference" and Crowley says "good luck"

Both are leaving. Neither stayed until they could agree, or at least understand each other

Aziraphale says "I need you" and Crowley says "no nightingales"

Aziraphale thinks he ended it.

Aziraphale says "I forgive you" and Crowley says "don't bother"

That's the one that sticks.

[armageddidnt]

The Tragedy of Season 2: they’re so busy trying to protect each other that neither of them actually communicates anything at all

[wearecrowley]

good omens crack 6 of ∞

[vroomvroomwee]

Everyone is talking about how Crowley feels he's not enough for Aziraphale after he didn't choose him... but no one is talking about Aziraphale.

Now imagine you meet someone that's so full of life, joy, excitement and above all happiness... and then never see them that happy again for 6000 years. Aziraphale litterally offered Crowley heaven on a platter because he wanted to see him happy again, because that's what he thought would make him happy again, because for 6000 years he couldn't make him smile that same way, because he thought he alone wasn't enough for Crowley

[borealing]

i will love you if i see you every tuesday

and i will love you if i never see you again

lemony snicket, the beatrice letters

[zaxal]

look at me. look me in the eyes.

at the bandstand crowley says "let's run away to alpha centauri together [implied: let earth be destroyed by armageddon and the great war, but at least We'll Be Together]"

and aziraphale says "i can fix this, i just have to talk to the right person, everything can go back to the way it was [implied: this is not ideal, but at least everything won't be destroyed, and if god steps in and says 'This Is Not The Plan, The Rest Of You Are Wrong And Aziraphale Is Right,' we won't be punished for stepping in.]"

and crowley says "well im going with or without you [implied: this is the end of our longstanding dynamic unless you change your mind]" and aziraphale says "ok, then go [implied: you no longer have obligations towards me, i don't expect you to save me this time.]"

they have this exact same conversation on the street, when aziraphale says "i forgive you." whatever happens next is not crowley's fault. he's willing to carry it all alone. he is SO prepared to do this that he's Shocked to find out crowley is still on earth after he's been discorporated.

and at the end of s2, we have crowley going "let's run away, we can be together, im willing to admit to the full breadth of what i want to have with you [implied: the earth will be destroyed]"

and aziraphale says, in more words, "we can fix this. you're right; talking isn't enough, we can take over, we can take action, AND we can be together. [implied: this is not ideal, but we can stop it, we can be together, we can Show them that we're right and there's a different choice they can make and if we're in a position of power, what could they do to us?]"

and crowley says "well i'm not going [implied: this is the end of our longstanding dynamic unless you change your mind]"

and aziraphale says "i forgive you [implied: you no longer have obligations towards me. i don't expect you to save me. whatever happens to me is not your fault. i'll carry everything alone.]"

it's the SAME conversation, and aziraphale is not the only one repeating the same lines and refusing to adjust his worldview to account for the changes in their relationship and the material realities of what their action or inaction would bring about.

they are both right. they are both wrong. they are both hurting because they never talked until there was 5 minutes left on the clock and not enough time to sort all of their shit out. there could have been a compromise; they didn't have enough time to reach it, so it's all desperation and emotions and discovering that, oh shit, we should've had a real conversation at some point in the last four years.

[insanity-laughs-under-pressure]

Quiet, gentle and romantic and yet we find out Crowley is living in his car and fed up with literally everything.

[guavi]

in yet another universe, it comes down to them to stop the Apocalypse

Inevitably I turn everything into a FFXIV AU (and I have definitely given this one way too much thought).

They were both blessedcursed with the Echo at the same time. But do they want to be Warriors of Light? That remains to be seen.

Aziraphale is a Lalafell because every single Lalafell ever is either the bestest cinnamon roll that must be cherished or an absolute bastard. Sometimes both. Usually both.

Crowley is a Duskwight Elezen (hence the slightly ashy skin tone). I wasn’t sure at first whether to put him as Au’Ra for the reptile factor, but in the end I went Duskwight Elezen because:

Maximum weird lanky Wet Cat Kinda Guy vibes

Elezen means I can also put him in Ishgard for the Elf Catholicism

He has slit pupil eyes in this because it's pretty of An Incident with dragon blood.

[larkbunny]

Crowley is actually quite a fan of Xena: Warrior Princess

[missunderstoodlyrics]

I *love* Aziraphale. Crowley is great and all, but there's just something about that angel that makes me want to snog him furiously in the pouring rain with Taylor Swift's 'Sparks Fly' playing in the background.

So when I tell my friends this (I'm not ashamed) (although maybe I usually leave out the Taylor Swift thing), they ask me things like oh, have you seen staged, or masters of sex or whatever, and I'm all like, is Aziraphale in any of those? No, no, he's not.

I get why they're recommending them, I'm not dumb. But Michael Sheen has forever ruined all of his other roles for me.

Because unless he's dressed like a 19th century English professor, sporting fluffy white hair and spouting things like tickety-boo and mind how you go, then I don't care.

[madbard]

I love how the angels of Good Omens respond to kindness.

When you think about it, these angels have lived for millennia in an environment where any good deed must be done for a reason. They live in a world where goodness is a quota that must be filled, where mercy is an occasional command, but is neither expected nor rewarded. They live in a massive, empty white space filled with people who rarely give them a second glance except to order them around. They have long since accepted that this is all there is and all there should be, that they will never be anything more than God’s pawns.

Give them something. It doesn’t have to be big - just a compliment, maybe. A word of reassurance. A simple gift.

Watch their entire face light up.

[vroomvroomwee]

Defending Aziraphale does not mean putting the blame on Crowley. If someone is rationalising Aziraphales' actions and asking people to stop hating on him does not mean they want Crowley to apologise or that it was his fault. There doesn't need to be a "villain" for a story to be tragic

[gothassloser]

The worst thing about it is that I’m not even mad. I’m disappointed sure, I guess we all are, especially those who had seen the EVERY spoiler, but I think I’m even less disappointed than if we would have been given what we wanted. My point here is that it makes so much more sense than if Aziraphale had say “Oh yes Crowley, I love you too let’s get a cup of coffee and I’ll read you a book for the next three thousand years”. Because first, be realistic, the decision he made is soooo angelic. He truly believes he can make it better, that there is good in everyone and, also, that everybody needs to see how deeply good Crowley actually is. All the people who have been at some point into very religious environments can tell you how hard it is to see completely out of it. His “I forgive you” is as strong as an “I love you”. It is even said/shouted on the same tone as one. And I reckon that for Aziraphale, for whom love is easy, natural, and applied to every thing in the universe since he’s an angel, it is even stronger. But also, because then, what? They live an happily ever after and that’s it. Here, with this ending, we get a sequel. We get hope that it’s gonna be better the next time. And as humans, this is what we do, we wait, we see, and we hope. And yes sometimes we get our hopes crushed and it hurts, but this faith in the future is picking us up. As long as there is hope, there will be humanity. I believe this is exactly what Good Omens is about. About hope. About being humans.

[leupagus]

Gonna be honest, I'm at the "noodling around instead of buckling down to actually write it" so here have another scene of whatever this ends up being

(From my doc which is labeled "sexnanigans lol")

"Why don't we just get it over with?" Crowley asked, a few days later. He was lying in bed, sprawled on his stomach along the top bit of the mattress with Aziraphale using him as a sort of very angular pillow. Every once in a while Aziraphale would rearrange Crowley's limbs into a new configuration to suit himself; at the moment he was contorted into something that most closely resembled a half-melted curly wurly.

"Mm?" said Aziraphale, his familiar I'm not really paying attention to you but I am recording what you're saying for playback in about thirty seconds, at which point I'll decide if anything you've said was worth listening to sort of "mm". He was reading yet another sexual manual; judging by the age of the cover and the deadness of the language contained therein, it was unlikely to be useful. The etchings were fun, though.

"You've been doing all this," he waved vaguely at the book, along with the half-dozen others piled on Aziraphale's nightstand, "For almost a month. Why don't we try something—"

"Get it over with?" Twenty-seven seconds, Crowley thought smugly, but attempted to school his expression into something serious when Aziraphale turned to frown at him. "I don't think this is something we ought to do at all, if you think of it like that. There's a rather good book, in fact, about enthusiastic consent and—" He reached for the nightstand.

Crowley tugged his arm back. "I didn't mean it like that," he said. "I'm all for it. I even invented some of those positions.* I'm just asking," he added, before Aziraphale could start demanding which positions, and with whom, which he was sure to say instead of who because jealousy in Aziraphale always manifested in creakingly correct grammar, "Why all this… research?"

Aziraphale shut his book, which could either go very well or very poorly; either way it meant Crowley was about to get his full attention. But he just sighed and said, "Do you recall the first time I tried food?"

That memory was too precious to deny. "You decimated an entire ox," Crowley said, not even bothering to keep the gloat out of his voice. "Most beautiful thing I'd ever seen."

"I think you really ought to be embarrassed about how much you mean that," Aziraphale said musingly, and right, this is why Crowley should have been wary about the closing of the book. "And then three hundred and eighty-seven years after that I tried wine, and got comprehensibly — what's the word?"

"Shitfaced."

"Blotto, thank you, is the word I was actually looking for. I had a hangover for two months."

"Wasn't that at my urging, too?" Crowley asked, reaching out to curl his fingers in Aziraphale's hair. "You really were rubbish at thwarting my wiles."

"Well, I was a rather rubbish angel, as it turned out," Aziraphale said, shutting his eyes and leaning into Crowley's touch. "Thank God for that. But that's my point, dearest. Whenever I've experienced the delights of Earth, it's often been — well, to use the old-fashioned term, gluttonous affair at first. Or if I'm using modern parlance, more gourmand than gourmet. And for this I want—"

"You think the terms 'gourmand' and 'gourmet' are modern parlance? D'you think the term 'modern parlance' is modern parlance?"

"I want," Aziraphale continued, relentless, "To savour it, this time. Savour you."

Crowley said, "Oh," and couldn't think of anything else to say. 

Aziraphale watched him for a few moments, those clever eyes seeing far too much, then made an absentminded tutting noise and maneuvered Crowley's elbow into a truly preposterous position before he resumed reading. 

Crowley let him.