#and nearly fall asleep on them

[celestiachan]

i need to snuggle someone as we both do our own things on our phones

[secriden]

the joongdunk gods randomly showed me this 3am joongdunk live out of nowhere and there are SO MANY GEMS in it!?

the whole drag conversation

Joong: if you guys want us to... do something like drag... Dunk: comment comment

the way dunk's main concern is who is going to do the make up, but he is otherwise very willing to try it. what a man *u* <3

(also, joong, you're absolutely correct and i can only hope that someone else will have the same vision and put dunk in a dress or skirt at some point because those legs!?!? yeah.)

dunk flirting and joong absolutely loosing his cool

Joong: *screeches like a banshee and looses his grip on the phone* Joong, in the most high-pitched hysterical voice: Jesus!

joong getting embarrassed by his own flirting

joong frantically backpedaling as dunk repeated asks "how can i get in the frame???" is sending me xD

man thinks he's got game but the second dunk plays along (knowingly or otherwise), he's left utterly flummoxed xD

joong's helpless glances

joong especially looked very tired and out of it and there were just a few moments that felt especially unfiltered/unguarded where he'd look at dunk like that:

just, fond amusement and this almost dazed kind of wonder. ugh, i can't handle them, pls send help! <3

[poems-of-a-lover]

will never be over this honestly

[piracytheorist]

someone: how angsty do you want your identity reveal scenario to be?

me: so what if right after Anya's powers are revealed Twilight asks her why she tricked him into adopting her, if she was put into it by someone else in order to expose him, and Anya tries to tell him she wanted to help and he asks why would you want to help me and she's like "because you want a peaceful world where children don't cry" and he nearly has a flashback triggered by that and she runs and hugs his legs saying she wants to help and be good and Twilight just. Pushes her away. Gently and without physically hurting her but emotionally it's a massacre. And he sees her devastated face because of his rejection and realizes he has now caused her the pain he never wanted to see on another child's face, and he thanks whatever lucky stars he doesn't deserve that Yor is there because he cannot process anything else and just leaves out the door, leaving Anya to bawl in Yor's arms :)

[cursedthing]

Finally after at LEAST 5 nights of cutting paper and sleepily sketching and detailing they're all done! :D

[one-of-us-must-be-crazy]

While you'd think the relationship would have moved at a truly glacial pace, once together, it's only eh....five or six months before Samuels comes back to their flat with an actual honest-to-god engagement ring. Logically, they're living together, they've exchanged words of intentions for this to be a long term relationship, so he figures he should do this the proper human way.

Unfortunately, Amanda balks at the concept of being/engaged/ because what the fuck, Chris, (not counting cryo) I haven't known you for a year yet??? Poor thing assumes her distaste is because he grossly misread their situation and his place in her life. She has to stress to him that it's not him, not the color of his blood ("Amy, it's not really blood,") just that its awfully fast. Its enough to calm him down but he's still embarrassed, and then the horror of having to return the ring occurs to him and--

"Why would you return it?"

"You said--"

"Hold on to it, for a little while." She never wanted to be anyone's wife, anyone's mother, anyone's possession...But if anyone on the planet would understand the hesitation she had with commitment, it would be the man she helped carve company logos out his fingerprints.

"Do you mean it?"

It breaks her heart, the way he's beaming at her like she actually accepted instead of requesting an extension, but his sheer /joy/ is infectious. He's like her, so very dry and to the point, their shared sense of humor is subtle, sarcastic, and often dark--yet she cracks, and she's giggling. Samuels can't laugh: almost no synthetic can by design, it's too complex of a biological process to bother mimicking but she knows if he could, he'd be joining her.

He over thinks how long "a while" is and goes through a monthly crisis, takes to carrying the ring in his coat, but never asking out of fear it hasn't been long enough. Amanda finds it there one day about four months later, while looking for a missing key. Christopher finds her sitting on the bedroom floor, glassy eyed, coat over her knees, twisting the ring around (of course it fits perfectly he probably laser measured her hands)

"If...you want, you can keep it on." Amanda nods slowly, the realization of the 'yes' sinking in belatedly she she has to stand shakily to hug him. Tightly.

[i3utterflyeffect]

He gets back and the others can tell that something is wrong and he's also probably more jumpy, and it takes awhile before he's comfortable using art tools again. Also he's probably going to be more afraid of accidentally hurting them because of the nightmares he's had when he didn't have all the context of his memories and seeing how much his actions have impacted people.

YEAH... i don't think it ever really occurred to him that they're still not equal in power— even if the CG is really really good at fighting, he's very nervous that someday he'll slip up and someone will get hurt. Plus, I don't think he entirely realized that they're just a bunch of dumb teenagers until he saw them in person.

It's weird, because yeah, he may be human, but Vic kind of drilled their own fear of humans into his head, so it's... disorienting, to say the least.

[celestialulu]

nightly routine

[fingertipsmp3]

Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself

[nerosdayinanime]

reminiscing about a life left behind

this is after the reunion at the bar, when Giyuu left Makomo tried to talk to him & figure out why he faked his death (then came back??) and left pretty soon after when he not so subtly brushed off her questions and vaguely apologized for disrupting things. Tengen & Kyojuro got extremely worried about him immediately ordering as many drinks he could at a time and being his usual happy-go-lucky self after Giyuu- the quietest and least confrontational person in the whole office -sent him to the floor in a fit of cold rage. They watched (and joined, though not to the same extent) as he got absolutely wasted, his suddenly saccharine attitude showing off just how much of his personality is just a performance.

Between the revelation that hes a demon slayer- a hashira just like them -and finally noticing the seam in his otherwise perfect mask, the both of them figure he's just as fucked up as they are from their job. Tengen has his own guise of extravagance, Kyojuro always being loud and proud to hide his insecurities- but Sabito was subtle about it. He was happy and playful, but not too much so like Kyojuro was- he also became a master of diverting attention from himself, they didn't know much about his personal life or hobbies- or anything outside of when they hung out or stopped by the little grocery store he worked at. Didn't know his favorite color, what genre of music he liked, what his favorite movie was- didn't know if he's ever had a partner or other friends, nothing about his school life or parents or if he had any siblings- nothing! He was a ghost of a person, like he merely popped into existence when they met him. That's probably not too far off- they didn't meet Sabito that day, they met his empty smile. Without ever realizing there was nothing behind it.

Thoroughly disconcerted by the realization and very worried about Sabito chugging alcohol like he had nothing left to live for while laughing like there was nothing wrong, they kept a close eye on him. When he starts getting quiet they force him to stop drinking and drag him back to his apartment and stay the night crashed on the couch & floor. In the morning Sabito was fucked. Absolute shit time. Had a vague feeling he shouldn't think about anything so he didn't, just fucked around with a worried Tengen & Kyojuro until they left. Continued not thinking about anything, did a bunch of chores and errands so he didn't have to think about Giyuu. Even fixed a neighbor's ac unit with the help of a youtube tutorial. As soon as the sun started setting he donned his slayer uniform and ignored painful sting in his heart at the sight of his old fox mask hanging on the wall, settling his face into the same empty smile as the default slayer mask he uses now. That night he was a beast- merciless and scathing strikes, chasing down terrified demons like he had a score to settle. Completely ignored other slayers he ran into, simply pushing past them dealing the kill and moving on.

This little routine continued for a few days- overworking himself desperately trying to keep out of his head, deflecting and straight up ignoring Tengen & Kyojuro asking about how he's doing, fleeing any of the other hashira or water-fox squad trying to ask about him and what all he's been doing the last several years, pissing off lower-level slayers he steals kills from. He works until he passes out from exhaustion, getting up and doing all it again when he wakes. A few weeks later and it catches up to him despite his attempts at running.

Giyuu hates him.

Rightfully so, he left him to burn like a coward and a fool. And did what with his time? Do nothing but make more mistakes? How many people hes lied to and let down? He's done nothing but run.

He knew it'd happen. As soon as he stopped moving he would never want to start again, as soon as he stopped running, as soon as he tripped- as soon as he hit the ground he'd never want to get up again. Years of grief stress and denial hit him all at once, he doesn't know what to do. Walls too high to see over, too deep to dig under, too thick to simply power through. No one on the other side who really needs him anyway.

Why does he even bother?

He stares at his fox mask. Hand crafted by the man he thought of as a father, who took him in and taught him to defend himself and protect others. Real good job he did of that. All he's done since he started running was hurt hurt hurt. The people he cared about and respected the most- abandoned. Everyone else left in the dust like they were nothing.

What fucking good..

...

He thinks of the better days. When he was a son, helping his mom water the plants so they'd bloom bright and vivid. When he was a brother, helping his little sister reach the top shelf for candy. When he was a student, fueled by his grief and anger with a promise not to let anyone else lose as much as he had. When he was a friend, pulling Giyuu out to see a meteor shower in their favorite clearing. When he was a boyfriend, feeding popcorn to Giyuu laying across his legs watching a movie together. ...He threw that all away and for what? So he wouldn't have to face his failures? How fucking pathetic.

He'd never have any of that again. Burned his bridges, destroyed the foundations, turned the ground to shifting sand. His head thunked against the wall behind him, why did he have to fuck everything up?

[basaltbutch]

oh you know what. remembered i was partially raised by dogs. that might explain some things about me.

[datastate]

it has been ten minutes and sleep just barely wins out so i'm deleting the poll & taking a long nap o7 see you all on the flipside

[witchwhaat]

gonna watch men sp, bc what the hell happened there🤨

[magolorex]

besties homies and oomfies in the crowd i will not lie i am severely mentally unwell (negative) right now so i might not respond to antthing so sorry about that 💔 i just need to like take a bit to myself i think. i love you all. my final message change da worl

[lunarsapphism]

.

[purposefully-lost]

It was late. They'd been talking for nearly two hours, if the clock on the stove was any indication. Rabbit's thumb still brushed over Alex's knuckles, back and forth, though whether he was seeking comfort or giving it wasn't clear. Alex wouldn't blame either of them for needing it; they'd made a terrifying kind of decision.

Well, sort of. They had time to keep thinking it over, to really let it weigh on them before anything was made official, and there was always the chance that things wouldn't go as planned. But for right now, Alex was pregnant, and he was going to carry the baby to term, and they were going to be parents.

"Fuck," he said softly, earning a gentle squeeze from Rabbit's hand. Parenting wasn't something he'd ever thought about- he'd never, not ever, considered carrying a child himself. Just the thought had seemed terrifying and uncomfortable, leaving him with images of something monstrous growing inside him, connected to all the parts of his body he'd been conflicted about the most, but all those thoughts were almost laughable, now. That wasn't what it felt like.

No, not at all. It was scary, but it wasn't the baby he was scared of. It was himself, and all the quiet fears he and Rabbit had just spent hours spilling across the kitchen table. The history, the health, the state of mind, the reputation, the terror that no matter what their did, their own struggles would be passed along. He didn't want that. He didn't want an angry, lonely kid. There'd been enough of that between Rabbit and himself already. But a very big part of him didn't want to let the kid go, either, whether that meant termination or adoption. A much, much larger part of him pictured himself and Rabbit and a hundred more late nights with a baby in their arms and wanted it more than he'd ever thought he could. He squeezed hard at Rabbit's hand, slowly looking up at him again.

Warm blue eyes stared back at him, just as terrified and just as hopeful. Alex offered a small smile. At least, if he were doing this with anyone, he was glad it was Rabbit. "We should probably get to bed, Bunny," he told him softly. Rabbit nodded, squeezing his hand one more time before letting go to stand. He moved around the table just as Alex stood and reached out only to take his hands again. A sweet smile formed on his lips, his eyes searching Alex's. Then he pulled him into a tight, warm hold, prompting a quiet laugh from Alex's lips. He happily fell into his arms and hummed. "I, uh.." he slipped his arms around Rabbit's waist to squeeze him, closing his eyes at the warmth of him. "I think we might not be too bad at this," he told him.

"No?" Rabbit pulled back to meet his gaze again. There was a light in his eyes like something had excited him, some new lovely sight or a new favorite song heard for the first time. He grinned, that gaze locked on Alex. "Maybe not."