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#and my therapist says its Not Good
usualstranger · 1 year
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does anyone else sometimes feel the need to distance urself from everything in this reality & cut all ties with anything that ever proved ur existence & just ~vibe~ as some sort of half-ghost?
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blenselche · 1 month
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i have the next page of erasure laid out and a new tablet coming. gonna give my current one to a friend's kid that seemingly eats sketchbooks, hopefully that'll help lol. "I wanna support her but in this economy I'm ready to just buy a pack of shitty printer paper and call it a day."
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dimonds456-art · 4 months
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Maladaptive daydreaming.
#daydreaming#maladaptive daydreaming#maladapting daydreaming disorder#maladaptive behaviors#maladaptive coping#dissociation#immersive daydreaming#dimond speaks#yeah so adding this to my list here lol#my therapist helped me realize i dissociate a LOT and the primary way i do it is through vivid daydreams#they usually happen at work but they also pop up if i'm having a bad day or... anytime really.#i've also come to the realization that i have at least one of these a day which is not good fgsjh#my therapist says they're not inherently bad especially since they do have a positive effect on my emotions (if its a good daydream)#but it's gotten to the point that it's affecting the way i work#and they can last for a LONG time too#i haven't timed them but i do know they've been over 30 minutes at work before#this is either due to ADHD autism PTSD or a mixture of the three lmao#weeeee#anyway. this post isn't really intended to be a vent post#it's more like a 'this is my experience' type post#it just kinda comes across as somewhat vent-y#but that was because i wanted to try and immerse the reader into what its like to have these daydreams#like mine look NOTHING like this but making it more generic would help others understand it#the void is the general dissociation from reality#then you emerge in the dream#i can feel things as if i'm there- the sun the wind and sometimes even physical touch#and i'll stay there until something snaps me out#strangely i can get my work done while i'm doing this- i just wont have any memory of doing so. it's like being on autopilot#anyway. I hope this post was helpful to someone out there#if you also maladaptive daydream YOU ARE NOT ALONE! it's valid and you're not 'faking' anything. it's a genuine trauma response.
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hope-ur-ok · 24 days
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I have not eaten anything today and I frankly don't have the motivation to make anything, or even care that I haven't had anything
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the-smallest-star · 8 months
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//My mum knows my flat is a mess, so she and my sister are coming over tomorrow to help me clean it AND I AM VERY EMBARESSED BY THIS!!
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mbat · 8 months
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i really wanted to try and write like, a thing explaining how i think steven universe future is one of the best portrayals (and my personal favorite) of mental illness in media, and how i think people misinterpreted it (me included at first, cause my experience over time has given me new perspectives) but i. AAA i literally dont even know if its necessary cause i dont know if people still think it was bad or a bad way to write steven (it wasnt!!) or like any of that, mostly cause. holy shit its just so obvious to me?
like i watch that show and i relate to him so much that i just understand it all and its so obvious to me and i dont know if other people find it. not obvious. like everything is right there in the text laid out i think
the main thing that i saw get misinterpreted when it aired was the second to last episode where steven turns into a fucking kaiju and everyone, again me included, thought that it felt rushed, but everytime i rewatch it i think... no it wasnt, actually. because we see it expecting a big fight or thinking it needs a whole lot to fix, but it doesnt. its not a fight, its someone having a mental breakdown and thinking theyre purely unlovable and evil, but being made to see that they are still lovable and arent evil even after all the bad theyve done, theyre loved unconditionally, and that other stuff mostly really doesnt matter (and hey, it can be fixed/dealt with later, its fine!)
its just my favorite show ever, specifically future! and i really wish other people would see what i see, but do i even need to try..? i didnt really write it very well anyway, but drafts exist for a reason. idk ive just been thinking about it a lot
TL;DR: i adore steven universe future and im wondering if anyone thinks its even necessary for it to be analyzed for people to maybe better understand it/do you think that there are enough people misunderstanding it that it needs a perspective to maybe help be more understood
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hopingforcoordinates · 5 months
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i hope you don't make yourself change much from what you've already planned for jerejean because literally everything you've given us in unkindness is more than perfect. i get the feeling your take on them won't disappoint
Thank you, anon <3 Tbh I probably won't change anything. I just feel kinda Weird atm, but I'll get over it and ppl can react however they want
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newfeeling77 · 7 months
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i love my friends so much my connection with other ppl makes my life worth living. i love finding common ground and understanding with regular people and understanding im part of something bigger than ill ever truly comprehend, because human relationships (to me) are another plane of understanding and love, from short once in a lifetime interactions to lifelong friendships, because its about memories and how much of a wonderful scrapbook you can make of your experiences… im grateful for every second no matter how painful or scary because i know its my only shot at living which means so much to me because i wasnt always sure id make it… i was going to just put this in my notes app out of embarrassment for sincerity but everyone i interact with gives me this feeling and that includes you people on here. its really incredible
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californiaquail · 21 hours
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just in case anyone thought i was exaggerating about how stupid my coworkers think i am today one of them told me i could write "turbid which is like the scientific word for cloudy" on a urinalysis sticker. i have a college degree in a science
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diteach · 4 days
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The Thoughts(c) are getting to me so I should probably go to bed but I have to say hmm maybe I should go to therapy
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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months
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OCD is pretty common among autistic people, and many of us who dont have full-on OCD may experience some things that can be kinda similar to some aspects of it. I'm on the spectrum myself and i also have this issue of basically getting stuck on some thoughts. It sucks, sometimes it's something that makes me angry but doesnt actually matter that much in the grand acheme of things and i just end up in a bad mood over something stupid and cant stop thinking abt it for a few days even though there are no new thoughts about it, i just keep going through old ones again and again and again. I dont know if there's a term for it, but hey, at least I'm not the only one, and neither are you. Generally i just look for distractions and wait until the thoughts get less obsessive and annoying
That makes sense, thanks!
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piplupod · 25 days
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searchengine dot com clicks search bar typing "how do i make peace with the fact that i am living a life that is the situation i was terrified of ending up in as a kid. how do i make peace with the fact that my younger self would've killed themself if they saw where we are now because the only reason they stayed alive was for a dream that has been relatively recently rendered impossible forever. how do i continue to pretend that i am just the same as everyone else and a-okay when i feel like i need to scream for help nearly constantly. how do i make peace with a situation that makes me feel nauseous to simply think about and remember i exist in."
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leadersguilt · 1 year
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cant remember bringing this up for a while so honestly i'll never be over the reiiteration that jean himself has a bleeding heart. he is going to be both blunt and honest with whoever hes speaking to, but in a way that he hopes will come to help them understand the situation but also does it so whoever he's speaking with actually understands the full situation and what that may entail despite the gruesome outcome.
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f1owermoon · 1 month
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thinking abt the ways ive heard people describe me and going 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹💘💘💘💘💘🫶🫶🫶🫶
#i was in group therapy for a while and we had to do an exercise where we had to describe ourselves and then ask someone close to describe us#and the therapist also asked us to describe each other#i said i was sweet (i dont really THINK of myself as sweet but other people often tell me i am so i was like sure lets go w it)#and then one of the ladies who was there was like no youre not sweet youre SUPER sweet and i was like oh??????????#and then another girl was like: she's like a cloud. it was so cute LMFAO#it was the same girl who said she thought my voice was so sweet and soft sometimes she couldn't focus on what i was saying when i talked#and i dunno. everyone else in that group was a bit older than me and the therapist was like well#besides being a good person i think youre really intelligent and articulate for your age and i was like well.....im not that young LMFAO#idk its just weird to think about all the positive ways in which others perceive you yk?#like ive never EVER thought of myself as intelligent. if anything quite the opposite#even here i remember getting a couple of anonymous asks from ppl telling me that they thought i was cool or funny#or that they liked my sense of humor and i was like me???????? cool????????? funny???????????? no way dude#then there's been others from people telling me i was cute or sweet which is what i often hear from others but yeah#ive never considered myself particularly cute or sweet?????? i think im just a decent person lmao#anyway. much to think about.....#sorry for the rant if youve read everything you deserve a kiss (with tongue???? jk. unless??) 💋#raquel speaks
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spikeyjo · 2 months
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Siri how do i stop the cycle without doing these bitchass tiny steps
#lamenting because i was so close to being normal and then i fucking lost it and gained nearly 100 lbs#and i cant get back to where i was i just ...... aaaaaaaaaaaaa#im so much more mentally fucked now so its harder#but thats all excuses right?#and then theres me being like am i even saying that bc i know its what people want to hear#or do i actually believe it? and is there even a difference if i know its true but i dont believe it?#does it even fucking matter just stop shoveling garbage in your mouth ffs#is the real answer here but I AM STRUGGLING#im looking into wls but i know if i dont get my emotional and bored eating under control that shit WILL NOT BE GOOD FOR ME#hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng#im just mad bc i have to fucking grocery shop#which always leads me to being pissed about this fuckass cycle#bitch call me mauville town the way i have cycles#god i can recognize the cycle which all tthe therapists will be like good on you!! :D and im like great. how do i break it#and then theyll say ten thousand small steps BITCH IM DYING I NEED DRASTIC CHANGE#BUT THEN IT WONT STICK AND ILL REVERT BACK TO WHERE I AM#but i did it drastically the first time and it wouldve stuck if i hadnt fucking lost it and ended up in the ward#im not a small steps kind of guy i need to wake up and fix shit and stick to it#but listen to me i am dean maniacally speaking to sam.gif#i buy all these stupid ass healthy foods and i have all these good ideas and reciepes and im legit pumped#and then i fuck it up and order food thats awful for me and then i give the hell up#which is an easy problem to fix. i know.#i can simply just....... not do that#but i swear i am struggling which pisses me off so bad#like you wouldnt struggle if youd quit being a stupidass and just did the damn thing#god i am not gonna do well on my psych evaulation#im gonna end up turning it into therapy and im gonna rage and the lady is gonna be like :D................. you need ten more visits#and youre getting denied at the end of them so get fucked#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#charlie am i losing my GODDAMN MIND? IF ITS GONE WHERE WILL I FIND.. IT?
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gxlden-angels · 1 year
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I have a lot of religious guilt around being angry, especially being angry at someone, and it's so funny talking about it with my therapist because I'll admit something like "I feel like Im in a constant low level state of resentment" or that Im thinking something slightly harsh about a person and my therapist will be sitting in his seat like
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