#and my past loves inform my life and how i will love in the future. it would be reductive of me to erase them or act like they don’t matter

[luvfae]

CLEAN, PT 2

summary: after rehab, you reunite with thanos, sharing love, passion, and a fresh start together.

parings: thanos/choi su-bong x f!reader

warnings: mention of addiction, swearing, smut, oral (both receiving), fingering, handjob, unprotected sex (don’t be an idiot), p in v.

part 1

Three months ago, Thanos had dragged you—kicking, screaming, and cursing his name—into the same rehab facility where he had gotten clean.

Today, you were walking out.

With no family to pick you up (Thanos didn’t even know if you had any who cared), he was the one waiting.

Three excruciating months apart. He spent every day wondering if you hated him, if you were okay. But no calls from the facility meant you weren’t doing too bad. Meanwhile, you had spent those months drowning in withdrawal, fighting everyone who tried to help, refusing therapy—until eventually, you gave in. And for the first time in years, you felt normal. You started to remember the girl you used to be before the drugs took her away.

Then came the shame. The time lost. You should’ve graduated from art school by now, but instead, addiction had dictated your life. You regretted cutting off your family, pushing away friends until you had none left. You regretted how you had treated Thanos when all he ever did was try to save you.

And now, standing at the door, your hands trembled. Would anyone even be waiting for you?

Then—

“Y/N.”

You blinked.

Thanos.

You didn’t think. You just ran.

Throwing yourself at him, you hugged him so tightly it knocked the wind out of him. He didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you.

“Thank you,” you whispered, voice shaking. You pulled back slightly to look at him. “Thank you so much.”

“Don’t thank me,” he murmured, brushing away your tears.

“I didn’t deserve your help,” you admitted, pulling away completely. He caught your hands, grounding you. “I was so awful to you. I’m so, so sorry.”

“I know what it’s like to be an addict,” he replied. “Everyone deserves help.”

Sniffing, you wiped your eyes as he led you to his car.

It was strange. You had known Thanos for nine months, lived with him, had sex with him, and yet… you didn’t really know him. Your brain had been so fried on drugs you barely retained any information.

And Thanos was the same. He had taken care of you, paid for your rehab, seen you at your lowest, and yet he didn’t know who you were.

Maybe it was time to change that.

The car ride was quiet at first. You were still getting used to the feeling of sobriety, of being aware. But as the city passed by through the windows, you glanced at Thanos.

“I used to paint,” you blurted out.

He looked at you. “Yeah?”

You nodded. “Before everything… I loved painting. I was good at it, too. I was supposed to graduate art school a few years ago. Art was my dream.”

Silence settled for a moment before you continued. “I had a good life. A good family. My parents weren’t perfect, but they cared. I had a future. And then I got caught up with the wrong people.” You swallowed. “I let it ruin me.”

Thanos tightened his grip on the wheel. “It’s not too late.”

You let out a small, breathy laugh. “You sound like my therapist.”

“Well, your therapist is right,” he said, glancing at you. “You’re clean now. You can start again.”

You didn’t reply, just watched the city blur past.

“What about you?” you asked. “How did you get into rapping?”

Thanos smirked slightly. “It was either rap or go to jail.”

Your brows furrowed, but you stayed quiet, waiting for him to explain.

“I was a street kid,” he said. “Grew up bouncing between different family members. No real home. I got into some bad shit—gangs, drugs, fights. Ended up locked up a few times as a teenager. But music…” He sighed, tapping his fingers against the wheel. “Music was my way out. I started writing lyrics in juvie. Got out, kept at it, got lucky. Somehow, I made it big.”

You stared at him, realizing this was the first real conversation you’d ever had. “Do you love it?”

Thanos was quiet for a beat. “Yeah. I do.”

You smiled softly. “I’d like to hear your songs sometime. Really hear them. Not just in the background while I’m high out of my mind.”

His lips quirked up. “I’d like that too.”

And for the first time in a long time, you both felt like you were finally getting to know each other.

Thanos had loved you before—loved you in your worst moments, through the chaos, the anger, the addiction. But this version of you? The version that was bright-eyed, passionate, full of life again? He loved this version even more.

As he stole glances at you in the passenger seat, he really saw you for the first time. Your cheeks had filled out, your skin looked healthier, your eyes were wide and alert instead of hazy and half-lidded. And that smile—soft, genuine, real.

You were beautiful.

He pulled into the driveway, and you blinked, tilting your head.

“This isn’t the place I remember,” you said, glancing up at the massive mansion in front of you.

Thanos shrugged. “Bought a new house while you were gone.” He put the car in park and looked over at you. “Wanted to leave the bad memories behind and make good ones here instead.”

You let out a small laugh. “House? More like a mansion.”

Thanos smirked, pushing open his door. “Being rich and famous has its perks.”

You stepped out after him, following him inside. The space was opulent—high ceilings, sleek furniture, stunning artwork lining the walls. You turned in slow circles, taking it all in.

“I’ll donate them to charity,” Thanos said.

You glanced at him, confused. “What?”

“The paintings,” he clarified. “I’d rather have your art on my walls.”

Your cheeks burned, and you ducked your head, kicking at the floor. “I haven’t picked up a paintbrush in years,” you admitted. “Not sure I even can anymore.”

Thanos smiled. “I bet you can.”

Before you could argue, he took your hand and led you up the grand staircase, past a few closed doors, before stopping in front of one. He pushed it open, revealing a bedroom with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the entire city.

“This is your room,” he said simply.

You stepped inside, breath catching. It was beautiful. Warm-toned, cozy, welcoming. He walked over to the closet and pulled open the doors, revealing racks of neatly hung designer clothes, tags still on them.

“I even got you a new wardrobe,” he added.

You stared at the clothes, shaking your head. “Thanos, this is too much,” you whispered. “After everything I put you through… You shouldn’t have to take care of me anymore.”

He turned to you, gaze steady. “I want to.”

His words sat heavy between you. No hesitation, no doubt.

For the first time in a long time, you felt happy.

Real, genuine happiness. The kind that made your stomach flip and your heart race.

Or maybe it wasn’t just happiness. Maybe it was something deeper, something terrifying in its intensity.

You stared at him, eyes brimming with tears. “Thank you.” Your voice was barely a whisper, afraid that if you spoke any louder, the moment would shatter.

Thanos met your gaze, unwavering. “You’re welcome.”

You stepped forward hesitantly. “I don’t remember a lot from when I was using,” you admitted. “But I remember you.”

His brows lifted slightly. “What do you remember?”

You swallowed hard. “I remember you force-feeding me when I refused to eat. Flushing my stash down the toilet. I remember screaming in your face, kicking holes in your walls.” A tear slipped down your cheek, but you kept going. “I remember sleeping with strangers, with your friends—right after you told me you loved me.” Your voice cracked. “I was horrible to you. But that wasn’t the real me. I swear.”

Thanos nodded, watching you carefully. “I know,” he said simply. “But there were good times too, right? You remember those?”

You did.

You remembered the way he’d tuck you in at night, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. The way he’d run a bath for you after you got sick all over yourself, holding you steady as he cleaned you up. The way he kissed you like he was willing to set the world on fire for you. The way he touched you, loved you, even when you were too far gone to truly feel it.

“I remember how you made me feel,” you whispered, stepping closer.

His lips parted, his breath hitching as your fingers traced up his chest.

“I remember your hands,” you murmured, voice turning sultry. “Your mouth. Your tongue. Your fingers.” Your hand slid lower, brushing over the hardening bulge in his jeans. “Your cock inside me.”

Thanos inhaled sharply as you pushed your palms against his chest.

You had spent weeks thinking about this—about fucking him sober. About feeling everything for the first time.

“You made me feel so good,” you purred. “So fucking good, Thanos.”

A muscle in his jaw twitched. “My real name is Su-bong,” he muttered, his voice hoarse.

You smirked. “Well—Su-bong…” Your eyes darkened with intent. “Let me make it up to you. Let me show you how good I can be.”

That was all it took.

His lips crashed against yours, hungry and demanding, his hands gripping your waist as he backed you toward the bed. You gasped as the backs of your knees hit the mattress, and he wasted no time pushing you onto your back, peeling his shirt off in one swift motion and tossing it to the floor.

You sat up slightly, dragging your fingertips down his toned abdomen, your mouth practically watering at the sight of him.

He was already hard for you.

And this time, you were completely, devastatingly sober.

You dragged your nails down his chest, feeling the way his muscles tensed beneath your touch. His skin was warm, firm—real. For the first time, you were feeling him, not just through a hazy drug-fueled blur, but with a clarity that sent a shiver down your spine.

Thanos—Su-bong—looked down at you with dark, hooded eyes, his lips parted slightly as he took you in. “You’re teasing me,” he murmured, voice thick with desire.

You smirked, trailing your fingers lower, letting them ghost over the waistband of his jeans. “Maybe,” you mused. “I owe you, don’t I?”

His hands slid up your sides, rough palms skimming the soft fabric of the shirt he had given you months ago—the same one you had walked out of rehab in. Slowly, he peeled it up and over your head, letting it drop to the floor.

His gaze roamed over you, drinking in every inch of exposed skin, every little mark and scar. You weren’t the frail, hollow version of yourself anymore. You were whole.

“You’re beautiful,” he muttered, his fingers trailing over your ribs, then up to cup your breasts, thumbs brushing over your nipples. You let out a soft gasp, arching into his touch.

His mouth found your throat, lips pressing firm, open-mouthed kisses along the column of your neck. He sucked lightly at your pulse, dragging his teeth over the sensitive skin, making you shudder.

“Su-bong,” you breathed, threading your fingers through his hair.

He groaned at the way you said his name, his hands sliding down your body, squeezing at your waist, your hips, like he was memorizing the shape of you.

You tugged at the waistband of his jeans, undoing the button and pulling the zipper down, your fingers slipping inside to brush against the hard length beneath his boxers. He let out a sharp exhale, hips jerking forward slightly at your touch.

“Fuck,” he hissed, his forehead dropping against yours. “You really want this?”

You wrapped your fingers around him, squeezing just enough to make him curse under his breath. “More than anything,” you whispered.

His lips crashed against yours again, hungrier this time, his hands gripping your thighs as he pushed you back onto the bed, positioning himself between your legs. You gasped as he kissed his way down your body, his mouth hot and insistent against your skin.

When he reached the waistband of your jeans, he hooked his fingers into them, glancing up at you for permission.

You lifted your hips in response, breath hitching as he dragged them down, taking your panties with them, exposing you completely to him.

His eyes darkened, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip. “Fuck, baby,” he muttered, his voice thick with lust.

Then, without hesitation, he leaned down and devoured you.

His tongue flicked against your clit, slow and teasing, sending a jolt of pleasure through your core. Your fingers twisted into his hair, hips jerking instinctively, but he pinned you down with a firm grip on your thighs.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he groaned against you, his breath hot, his voice thick with hunger. “Missed this pussy so much.”

A whimper slipped from your lips as he flattened his tongue and licked a long, slow stripe up your slit before sucking your clit into his mouth. Your back arched, thighs trembling, but just as the pleasure built, just as you felt yourself spiraling, you pushed at his shoulders.

Thanos pulled back, his mouth glistening, brows furrowing in confusion. “What?”

You took a shaky breath, trying to clear the haze of pleasure from your mind. “This is about you, not me,” you murmured, pushing yourself up on your elbows. “I’m paying you back.”

A slow, wicked grin spread across his face. “If it’s about me, then I should get to do what I want,” he countered, voice low, dangerous. “And what I want to do is fucking taste you.”

“Jesus Christ,” you breathed, heat surging through your body.

Before you could protest further, he dove back in, his tongue circling your clit while two fingers slid inside you, curling just right. A strangled moan tore from your throat, your hips bucking as he worked you open, relentless and precise.

It didn’t take long—he knew exactly how to unravel you, exactly how to have you gripping his hair and gasping his name. Your orgasm hit fast and hard, your body shaking as he held you down, licking you through every wave until you were panting, overstimulated.

Only then did he pull away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, looking so fucking smug.

“Fuck,” you muttered, still catching your breath. “I forgot how good you were at that. Feels even better sober.”

His smirk widened. “Unforgettable, baby.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t fight the smile tugging at your lips. Pushing him onto his back, you straddled his hips, hands sliding up his chest, fingers teasing over his nipples before raking down his abs.

“My turn,” you whispered.

You kissed down his body, taking your time, nipping at his collarbones, sucking marks into his skin just to watch him tense beneath you. When you reached the waistband of his jeans, you tugged them down, freeing his cock, your mouth practically watering at the sight of him—thick, hard, already leaking.

You wrapped your fingers around him, stroking slow, teasing. His breath hitched, his head tipping back against the pillows.

“Fuck,” he groaned, his fingers curling into the sheets. “You gonna take care of me, baby?”

You leaned down, pressing a kiss to his tip, then dragged your tongue along his length, watching the way his stomach tensed beneath you.

“Of course,” you murmured, voice dripping with promise.

And then you took him into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as he let out a deep, guttural moan, his hands flying to your hair.

Your tongue worked him slowly, dragging along every inch of his length, teasing just to hear him groan. You hollowed your cheeks, taking him deeper, letting him hit the back of your throat, moaning around him just to feel the way he twitched in your mouth.

“Shit, baby,” Thanos growled, his fingers tightening in your hair. “Missed your mouth—so perfect, so fucking good for me.”

The praise only made you more eager. You bobbed your head, stroking the rest of him with your hand, slick and messy, making sure to keep your eyes on him. His chest rose and fell rapidly, his jaw clenched, his muscles tense as he fought to keep control.

But you didn’t want him to be in control.

You pulled off him with a lewd pop, kissing up his abs as you moved to straddle his waist. His cock was hard, flushed, throbbing against your soaked folds as you rubbed against him, teasing both of you.

“Hey,” he hissed, gripping your hips. “Quit teasing.”

You smirked, leaning down to kiss him, slow and deep, your fingers threading into his hair. “You always take care of me,” you whispered against his lips. “Let me take care of you now.”

Without breaking eye contact, you reached down, guiding him to your entrance before sinking down onto him in one slow, delicious slide. Both of you gasped at the sensation, your walls stretching around him, molding to him perfectly like you were made for this.

“Jesus,” Thanos groaned, his head tipping back, fingers digging into your hips as he tried not to lose himself completely.

“You feel so good,” you breathed, placing your hands on his chest, rolling your hips slowly, savoring the way he filled you so perfectly. “So fucking good, Su-bong.”

His eyes snapped open at the sound of his real name on your lips, dark and wild with lust. He sat up suddenly, wrapping an arm around your waist, his mouth latching onto your neck, sucking bruises into your skin as you continued moving, grinding against him, taking him deeper.

You moaned, clinging to his shoulders, kissing him desperately, your tongues tangling, the pleasure building between you like a fire. “Thank you,” you whispered against his lips, rocking faster, harder. “Thank you for saving me. For never giving up on me.”

A low growl rumbled in his chest as he flipped you onto your back, keeping you pinned beneath him, his hips snapping against yours, hitting deeper, harder.

“You’re mine,” he muttered between kisses, his voice rough, possessive. “Always fucking mine.”

“Yours,” you gasped, nails raking down his back, legs wrapping around him to pull him even closer. “Only yours.”

His pace turned desperate, his thrusts brutal yet somehow still so full of love, his forehead pressing against yours, his hand slipping between you to rub your clit, determined to drag you over the edge with him.

And when you came—hard, clenching around him, gasping his name like a prayer—he followed right after, burying himself deep, groaning into your mouth as he filled you, his entire body shuddering against yours.

For a long moment, neither of you moved, tangled together in the aftermath, your breathing heavy, your hearts racing in sync.

Then Thanos kissed you again, softer this time, lingering. “I still love you,” he murmured against your lips. “I always have.”

You smiled, brushing your fingers through his damp hair. “I think I love you too.”

And when he pulled you into his arms, holding you close like he never wanted to let go, you knew—you meant it.

You lay there for a while, tangled up in each other, your skin slick with sweat, his breath warm against your neck. The weight of him felt comforting, grounding, like you never wanted him to move.

But eventually, you stirred, pressing a soft kiss to his temple before slipping out of his arms.

“Where are you going?” Thanos mumbled, his voice thick with exhaustion.

You giggled, running a hand through his messy hair. “Relax, I’m just grabbing a towel.”

You padded to the bathroom, your legs still wobbly, but you didn’t care. You cleaned yourself up before wetting a towel, you returned to the bed, settling beside him as you began to clean him up, running the cloth over his stomach, down between his legs, gentle and careful.

Thanos watched you, his expression soft, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on your thigh. “You don’t have to do that,” he murmured.

“I want to,” you replied, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “Let me take care of you for once.”

He huffed out a small laugh, letting you do as you pleased, though his hands never stopped touching you—gliding over your arm, your waist, like he needed the reassurance that you were still here.

When you were done, you tossed the towel aside, crawling back into his embrace, peppering kisses along his jaw, his cheek, the corner of his mouth.

Thanos smirked. “You’re in a good mood.”

“I think you fucked the happiness into me,” you teased, making him chuckle before he suddenly rolled you onto your back, hovering over you, nuzzling into your neck.

You giggled, your hands slipping into his hair, tugging him up so you could kiss him properly. Slow, lazy, sweet.

After a while, you pulled back just enough to look at him, brushing his damp hair from his face. “Thank you for the room,” you said softly. “But… I think I’d rather share a bed with you, if that’s okay?”

He pressed a lingering kiss to your lips, his thumb stroking your cheek. “That’s more than okay,” he murmured. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

You smiled, burying your face in his chest, and for the first time in years, you felt home.

You still had a long road ahead—staying clean, rebuilding bridges with your family, reenrolling in art school. But those were worries for another day.

For now, you stayed wrapped in Thanos’ arms, making up for lost time, showering him with the love you should have given him all along.

[blueskittlesart]

i cannot believe that there are people who still get upset about ship loyalty in 2024. i’m just putting my little guys into situations can you chill

[icewindandboringhorror]

There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.

[arolesbianism]

I have obtained a new oc and in the process I've already signed myself up for needing to make at least 3 new ocs for his story which he now has despite me initially Intending for him to be a side character for a different side character to hang out with. My townhouse has over 200 characters on it.

[thetarotyapper]

what will your future partner/spouse find most attractive about you?

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I II III

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paid services 18+ paid services tarot community

(how to pick a card? observe the given options and choose the one which you feel the most drawn to. select the card based on the number provided below and scroll down to read about the card you have chosen. remember, this is a general reading, so take what resonates! ps.- if you feel drawn to more than one card/image/pile, feel free to read the others too!! if the chosen pile doesn't relate to you, feel free to choose another. the choice is yours<3)

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⊹₊⋆ pile I

i see that you are someone who is very diplomatic. you like to think things through before jumping down to any conclusions. i see that this quality of yours will be deeply appreciated by your future partner/spouse. i also see that you are someone who has given up/moved on from previous habits that caused you harm (maybe you were fighting against addiction or stagnation. i'm getting the energy here that you were “stuck” and was tired of your sedentary life, so you decided to make a change. maybe you had also faced a burn-out period or you had a creative block). i'm getting the energy here that you decided to change your life and have been putting in efforts to make yourself better. and i see it's working. i also see that before you were constantly filled with negative thoughts but now, you've completely changed your mindset and you're only focusing on the positive. way to go, pile 1! literally so proud of you!! i also see that you used to lag behind a lot in the past or maybe you were just slow in your ways (like you just took your own time to do things and this made you fall behind your days) but i do see that you have inculcated discipline in your life and your future partner/spouse is going to find this very attractive about you. i also see that you will help your future partner/spouse in the areas of discipline, decision making, and ideas. you are also someone who is very curious in nature and you have this child-like energy when it comes to discovering new things and your future partner/spouse likes the innocence you posses when you learn something new. some people might become greedy when they learn anything new and will try to gatekeep the information so that it can only benefit them, but i see you sharing the information/ideas/discovery with other people so that they can grow alongside you. you're literally so sweet, pile 1. i see that you like to discover new things and you're always on the go. as in like, you don't like to sit in one place and live the same boring life. you like excitement. you like thrill. which is fascinating because not long ago, i see that you used to feel stuck and burnt-out and nothing really excited you but now i see that there's a whole shift in your energy and now you're trying to catch up on things you've missed out on. i see you still working on yourself and maybe some days you might feel exhausted and might feel like your hard work is not paying off but my dear pile 1, let me make this one thing clear for you - your hard work is going to pay off. i see that your future partner/spouse will hype you up and will be there for you. i also see that they will grow alongside you. your kind and dominating nature is looked upon by your future partner/spouse. i'm getting a lot of masculine energy here. maybe you're a man reading this pile or maybe you're a woman who has a lot of dominating/authoritative energy. either way, your future spouse is going to love this about you. your dominance, discipline, hard work, curiosity, creativity, literally everything is going to be purely adored by your future partner/spouse. 

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✦ . ⁺ pile II

i see that your future partner/spouse will like how confrontational you are and how you are not scared of change. i also see you as someone who is very direct and you don't like to be passive in your ways. i see that you are someone who is independent and you like to think out of the box. your ideas and your answers are witty and smart, and your future partner/spouse likes this about you. i also see that you might be someone who is hard to read or perceive and this is a huge turn on for your future partner/spouse. i see that you have a knack for studying people easily yet you don't let anyone study you. i also see that you might be very family oriented or you're only nice to people who are very close to you. i'm emphasizing on the word “very" here because i see that your circle is very small and you only have people you fully trust in this circle. you don't give your energy and your time to people who don't deserve you. i see that you are only vulnerable to people you fully trust. you might seem like you have many friends, but you don't consider them as your close friends. you might also be someone who likes to socialise or might be an ambivert and your future partner/spouse likes this quality of yours. i do see that they are aware of you being very selective when it comes to people and i see them trying to prove to you that they are worth it. i see them chasing for your time and your attention. i do see that you will eventually become soft for them and i see that they would want to “save” you. maybe you might be someone who has suffered from past traumas or maybe there might have been a situation that might have triggered you, and i see your future partner/spouse helping you get over it and making you feel loved. i see that they will help you face the undesirable situation and will help you grow from it.

i see that you might be someone who is very clever and might be very good at problem solving and this will attract your future partner/spouse. i also see that you might be an animal lover and you might have pets at home and your future partner/spouse will try to be the other parental figure for your pets. awww, how cute! i also see that they will like your curious nature and how you're always so inspired. you are someone who is aware of your self worth and you do not entertain the negative energies in your life or people who are fake towards you and your future partner/spouse will love this daring attitude of yours. you are also someone who likes to go with the flow and i see that your future partner/spouse will feel a sense of ease knowing that you do not set unrealistic goals for yourself as well as for them. you don't come off as someone who is in a hurry and i see that your future partner/spouse will like this about you because they also like to see things unravel by itself.

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٠࣪⭑꩜.ᐟ pile III

right off the bat, the first message i got here is about balance. my dear pile 3, i see that you might be someone who might struggle with balancing things in your life and for some reason, i see that your future partner/spouse will find this quality of yours adorable. i see them coming to help you in this area. they like to make you feel at ease. honestly, i see that they like to take care of you a lot. your burden is their burden. they hate, and when i say hate, they HATE to see you doing things on your own without involving them. i see them behaving like a big sulky baby when you're not around them. so adorable. however, i also see that you might be meeting them when you are least expecting love or maybe you have just got out of a relationship and you're not looking for anything at the moment but then boom, you bump into them. i see that they will admire your “it is what it is” attitude because you are someone who lets go of things that don't serve you right. maybe your last relationship did not end well and there were a lot of lies and hurt. maybe some of you might have even got cheated on. or maybe your previous partner hardly cared about you and i'm also getting the energy here that maybe there might have been some sort of abuse - especially towards you? (emotionally, verbally or physically). but if not, i see that there was a lot of pain and suffering. im so sorry, pile 3 :(

but i do see that your future partner/spouse will help you regain faith in love and will be there for you. i see that you are someone who is filled with innocence and you might like to travel a lot or you are someone who is very adventurous and your future partner/spouse loves this quality of yours. i also see that you might attract a lot of attention from people or you might be a social butterfly and people love to hear you talk. you might have a nice voice and a very pretty face and not only does your future partner/spouse like this about you, i see a lot of people will like this about you. i see that your personality also might be very captivating and radiating. i do see that you might be stubborn at times and might have your guard up, but your future partner/spouse will know exactly how to make you feel safe and i see you opening up to them very soon. i do see that you will only reveal a part of yourself and might hide the rest away from everybody else, but this person - your future partner/spouse will make you feel things you've never felt before. i see that you have a lot of courage and you are not afraid of what life throws at you. you know your worth and you're ready to fight for yourself. your future partner/spouse loves this quality of yours. you also might be someone who likes to rest a lot or sleep a lot? i see that your future partner/spouse will also love this about you. also, i see that your future partner/spouse will love it when you wear the colour yellow.

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hi loves!! i hope this reading finds you in good health and i hope you are doing well. take care of yourself and i will see you in my next reading. thank you for being here<3

(note: tarot cards provide guidance and possible insights into what could happen based on current energies, thoughts, and actions. the cards can highlight potential paths or outcomes, but they do not predict the future in a fixed way. this is a general reading so take what resonates!)

[femmefatalevibe]

25 Life Lessons I've Learned In 25 Years

In honor of turning 25 this month, here are some lessons I wish someone could've baked into my brain by 18. Hope this helps xx

Putting yourself first is not selfish, it is an act of self-care. Actively discounting others is not the same as protecting your peace.

Pay attention to who gossips and keeps to themselves amidst an interpersonal conflict. Insecure people or those in the wrong will speak the loudest and go on the longest in a fight to prove their innocence. Individuals who are self-assured and comfortable with the truth know it's better to communicate their feelings appropriately and then move past it. Confidence is assertive, tactful, and relatively silent.

If you want to know who to believe in an argument, pay attention to how both sides speak about the conflict. The perpetrator will often speak about the individuals' character/morality while the victim will explain their personal experience in the context of the relevant situation.

Display empathy and consideration, but don't live to satisfy others' emotional needs and expectations. Say farewell to anyone who dismisses or guilts you for your own needs, emotions, priorities/life goals & aspirations.

Your needs matter. No one needs to approve or validate your desires. If someone feels they have control over you or tries to persuade you to change your mind to ensure you put their emotions and needs first, cut them out of your life. They do not care about you.

Almost no one deserves insider access into your life and mind. Upholding your right to privacy – especially regarding your finances, dating life, health conditions/concerns, and long-term goals – is the simplest way to protect your peace.

A friend to all is a friend to none. Be wary of those who will not stand up for you behind closed doors. These people do not care about you, they care about what your place in their life does for them and their ego.

Be radically honest and accepting of who you are. Don't apologize for your preferences, aspirations, and values. You deserve to live in a way that makes you happy, not to appease others in hopes of their approval or future favors due to your karmic good deeds.

You deserve happiness, love, and nice things, life experiences, relationships, and opportunities in your life regardless of what others may or may not possess/ be able to experience. Dispel this scarcity mindset ASAP. Jealousy and internalized shame are destructive to your self-esteem and all your relationships.

You are worthy and offer many incredible, unique gifts to the world. Don't allow naysayers, critics, or bullies (of any age) to dim your light or sacrifice pursuing your dreams. Decide you're the leader of your own life. Then act accordingly.

Direct communication is always the way. Remain tactful, but at least when dealing with non-manipulative people, always say what you mean and mean what you say. It will save a lot of trouble and petty disagreements that could've been avoided with clearer communication.

You don't owe anyone an explanation for your feelings, emotions, and actions that don't have a direct, inescapable impact on someone else. "No" is a complete sentence.

Approach conversations as a meeting of the minds. Healthy debate or conflict is about seeking to understand the other person, not prove yourself right. Leaving your ego at the door will allow you to expand your mind and avoid many unnecessary conflicts or arguments.

If it's not a hell yes, it's a no. For a job, date, sex, attendance at a time-sucking social event, family gatherings, an informal meeting not essential for you to keep your job, a wedding, birthday party, holiday invitation, etc. Outside of your contracted hours and time necessary to keep yourself/your home clean & well-maintained, you should spend your time exactly as you please. Doing things you don't want to do will only breed resentment down the line toward yourself and others.

Detangle yourself from any who refuses to self-reflect and take accountability. This person is selfish and will never see you as fully human with emotions, needs, and a complete life/internal world of your own. Cut them out (or at least fully emotionally detach and limit contact with them) immediately.

Speak your truth, but always say a little less than you feel necessary. Overexplaning and oversharing do you no favors. At a minimum, this approach allows you to protect your peace. In the worst circumstances, this tactic can also save you from a lot of trouble in your personal or professional life.

Learn to ask for a little more than you're comfortable with, but do so with grace, tact, and confidence. Whether it's a salary/rate negotiation, flight/hotel/restaurant accommodations, get in the habit of making that slightly higher/up-leveled request like you're expecting a "yes." You can't get something you don't ask for, so speak up and show you know your worth. This habit can bring a lot of great opportunity into your life and builds up your confidence.

Everyone is on their own timeline and path. Don't compare yourself to others' credentials, job titles, relationship status, net worths, or jean sizes. Comparison is truly the thief of joy. Remaining envious of others only takes up the energy that could otherwise be used to elevate or enrich your life.

Become clear on your priorities, and remain diligent with your habits & routines. Set SMART goals. Implement healthy habits and rituals into your daily lifestyle. Be consistent with goal-supporting and wellness rituals (generous sleep schedule, healthful eating habits, daily movement/regular exercise, reading, task time-blocking, cleaning, and life/work admin schedule), so they become second nature. Help yourself by creating these default habits to ensure your brain is wired for success whether you're in an easygoing era or a stressful life season.

Stop seeing other people (especially other women) as your competition in your profession/dating life and within your platonic relationships. Use your immediate criticisms as a tool for self-reflection. Actively deconstruct the patriarchy in every aspect of your life. Other women coworkers, dating prospects, and friends are not your rivals nor individuals who should be evaluated based on their assertiveness, sexual history/appeal, relationship status, or desire to perform traditional maternal/domestic roles.

Understanding how to interact with others in a cordial, tactful manner is significantly more important than having everyone like you. Learn how to positively influence people without seeking approval. What other people think of us is none of our business. All we can do is show up as the best version of ourselves, and remain optimistic about a potential connection.

Acceptance, accountability, and consistent discipline are the holy trinity to creating a sustainable change that you can maintain for the long haul. There's no shame in starting from the bottom, but you need to be honest about where you're at, so you can create a realistic game plan/small behavior-changing habits that stack up over time to help you implement the radical change you're craving.

Let go of any internalized shame. Being the "good girl" does you no favors in life. Set a standard and expectation to be respected, not to be perceived as "innocent" or submissive – this is how you get taken advantage of in professional, platonic, and intimate relationships. Remain ravenous for respect. It's the only way to live life to the fullest.

24. Investing in your appearance is a form of self-respect. Wanting to look & feel your best and present yourself in the best light possible to others is not a superficial pursuit. Remain unwavering about your hygiene/beauty/grooming routines, deliberate styling choices, healthy eating & workout habits, and mindfulness of social graces. You're your #1 publicist, so act like it. Life is all about embracing satisfaction with a sprinkle of reputation management.

25. Be unapologetic about your financial ambitions, priorities, investments, savings goals, etc. Financial freedom IS freedom. The only way to change the system is to break it from the inside out. Leverage is everything. Allocate, and assert your (financial) power wisely.

[thatnonameuser]

A Wonderland Of Yanderes

Intro, Part 1,Part 3 here Tagging for the first time @blue-rae18 Minors DNI Trigger Warnings: Mentions of Rape and Non-con but it's a subtle.

You'd bitten your tongue bloody all the way through Crewel's opening lecture. There were so many questions. So many sick and twisted answers.

One class filled you with so much dread

A class about kidnapping, murder and brainwashing some poor innocent soul into Stockholm Syndrome. All shoved underneath the the guise of true love.

A 'darling', the name for someone who was the object of a yandere's unwanted affection. An innocent who spend the rest of their lives living in fear, while someone smothers and controls them with their obsessive love against their will.

And this is all being taught and treated as a normal.

As if it's fine to take someone hostage because you love them.

As if it's fine to kill someone they love if you love them more.

As if it's fine to do unspeakable acts to them and their bodies against their will.

With how much nausea and bile coursing through your stomach and throat it was a miracle you didn't throw in the middle of the lecture.

But that's not what scared you.

What scared you was how bored Ace was as Crewel spoke, how enraptured Deuce looked as he heard about this. How curious some of the other students were about the methods they could use to steal innocent people from their homes, families and lives. How excited some were hearing about some of the ways they would learn about the ways they would use to break the desire for freedom in their future 'partners'.

It was terrifying.

That your friends would kill for someone they love.

Would they kill you?

You don't want to think about that right now. Right now, you needed answers. Fast.

"Crowley! Crowley I need to talk to you!" You shout as you storm in Crowley's office. As soon as the lecture ended you got the hell out of dodge and headed straight to Crowley's office, ready to demand answers.

The door opens to reveal a smiling Crowley, but that doesn't soothe your nerves. "Ah! My dear, what has your feathers ruffled?"

You swallow roughly, "Crowley.......Why didn't you tell me about the fact that I could be........legally murdered here?!"

He tilts his head, "Oh. That must've slipped my mind." You look at him, bewildered.

"I could-" Crowley interrupts you.

"Fear not though. As I am gracious, I already have ensured that will not happen!"

You want to feel relief but you can't, instead suspicion fills you.

"H-How?" According to Crewel's lecture only one crime wasn't pardoned. Darling Murder, and you weren't a darling. You got here on accident and you're not apart of this world so there's no way-

"Crewel was kind enough to inform me of your reaction to his lecture, and I've seen you this past week, how you've tamed your fiery little familiar so quickly." The smile he makes while he speaks fills you with fear, "Only darlings act the way you do~"

"What?"

"As a result, I've had you registered as Darling on and off this island. No one will raise a hand against you." He pauses, "At least not enough to kill you," he laughs at that.

"B-but I'm not from here! What if someone tries to kidnap me, or drug me, or....anything else!? I have a family, friends, and a life back in my home world!" You reason, but Crowley just laughs.

"Ah, the usual darling spiel~ Fear not, I will continue to find a way for you to return home." You feel a sigh of relief bubble into your throat, but before you can release it, what Crowley says next makes your blood freeze.

"But if someone takes you as their own, I cannot and will not try to intervene."

"What!? B-but-"

"I'm afraid after someone stakes their claim, a duel must be done to relinquish that claim to another. You must understand, it would be such a hassle to do every time someone stakes their claim."

"W-wait a second-"

"Of course, I'll leave a way for you to return to your world, but whether you're allowed to leave is another story. You must understand."

"I-I didn't ask to be here, Crowley, you c-can't just-"

"My dear, perhaps the reason the carriage came for you in the first place was for you to belong to another here. Regardless of how you feel about it, my and your hands are tied."

"B-But-"

"Oh, and I should give you fair warning. Many of our students are well aware on the traits a darling like you tend to have. Some may already have their eye on you. Your little friends Ace and Deuce seem to."

You're stunned silent. Ace and Deuce might be, what?

"Y-You're lying...." you whisper.

"I'm afraid not, but as I am gracious I'll inform the ghosts in Ramshackle to keep an eye out for you. They seem to have taken a shine onto you." Why because, you lived with them or because they're obsessed with you too?

What's wrong with this world?

[twinklingstarlightdiaries]

Books I recommend for your 'It Girl' journey

© Photos are from Pinterest

In 2023, I stumbled upon and started reading a self-help book as a distraction from all the chaos that was going on at the time. I ended up liking it and started to look a little more into self-help books. I fell out of love with reading for a long time so it was a bit tricky trying to commit to completing a book, but between the end of 2023 to last year, I enjoyed a few that personally helped me start to think and work towards becoming a better version of myself.

Here's a few I enjoyed:

The Mountain is You by Brianna Wiest

It 's an easy read that gets straight to the point. Personally, I think it’s a good starting base when looking for self-help books. It sets the roadmap from helping you to first recognize your triggers, to then advising how to release your past and then to how to work towards your future.

101 Essays to change the way you think by Brianna Wiest

Another easy read which I appreciate. The essays give a different perspective on topics such as when it comes to dealing with negative thinking, as well as purpose and passion, and becoming aware of the things that influence your life.

Power of the Subconscious mind by Joseph Murphy

This is more of a spiritual self-help book which is also an easy read. For me it was an informative piece that details how to rewire your subconscious and provided examples that you can adapt and change to better suit you.

Breaking the Habit of being Yourself by Joe Dispenza

Now, this one is a bit of a heavier read, moreso if you didn’t pursue Science because it pulls a lot from Physics, Chemistry, Biology and Neuroscience. But it provides insight on how your way of being attracts what you desire and focuses on how to create a vision and thereby, create change in your life.

This is How You Heal by Briana Wiest

Currently I'm still reading this one but so far, it’s a good one to start after reading the Mountain is You. I see it as the guide on how to move forward in your life after overcoming the mountain. I’ll update on this one after I complete it!

P.S - Any recommendations, I’ll love to add some to my list!

P.S.S - I’ll share my favorite fiction books I’ve read and started re-reading this week! 🫶

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Hi there! Welcome to my blog! I post lifestyle related content, occasional advice and snapshots of my life. I’m currently on a journey trying to embrace the healthiest version of myself and I wanted to share snippets with you. 🤍 If you enjoy the same or you’re on the same journey, I hope you enjoy my blog!! 🫶🏻

[inafieldofstarflowers]

My ⋆｡*Jeremy Knox Evidence Board⋆｡°

aka: I scoured TSC for all the crumbs I could find about Jeremy Knox and the mystery of his tragic and/or questionable past and tried to sort the information into sections

1. Whatever happened has something to do with Exy

Jeremy mentions "the fall banquet that broke [the Knox] family in half" in his freshman year

Before this banquet, Jeremy's sister Annalise always went to his games, after it, she not only stopped attending but went "out of her way to forget everything she knew about Exy" and had "never forgiven [Jeremy] for sticking with it"

Annalise suggests that their step-grandpa will have an opinion on Jeremy recruiting Jean and states that this recruitment is "a new scandal" which will make Jeremy "End the way [he] started"

2. Jeremy Goes to Therapy

Cat says that this therapist was "legit life changing" for Jeremy

Jeremy's mom was the one to find him this therapist, and she's both very good & very expensive

The therapist has walked him through how to push back against his family (or, at least, Annalise's anger at him sticking with Exy), suggesting that she believes his decision to continue playing after whatever happened is legitimate

3. SOMETHING is up with the Knoxes

Jeremy acknowledges that his family has their issues, though he specifies that his mother never raised a hand to hurt them physically

Again, whatever happened at the banquet "destroyed the family"

There's specifically tension between Jeremy and his stepdad/step-grandpa

- Jeremy is "permanently on his stepfather's bad side"

- Their step-grandpa is a Congressman, and the Knoxes are a "picture perfect family" who are "duty bound to dress up and smile" to make him look good

- When Annalise brings up their step-grandpa it is apparently "obvious bait" which Jeremy rises to by saying that he "isn't their grandfather"

- Him saying this makes Annalise respond "don't destroy my future"

Jeremy's parents are presumably divorced rather than his dad being dead (Jeremy uses the present perfect tense when he tells Jean "Dad's been stationed [in Europe] a couple times"

There's weird energy between the Knox siblings

- Cat identifies three: two brothers and one sister. We know Annalise is the younger sister and Bryson is the older brother, but the third is an unknown. Also, Cat noticeably pauses before saying that Jeremy has three siblings, but Jean doesn't ask about it

- Annalise has a grudge against Jeremy, and he avoids Bryson, who is apparently a jerk

- Jeremy mentions that "most of his siblings" wanted to get out of LA when stating that he wanted to stay because of his love for USC

Jeremy's family is upset when he bleaches his hair (presumably because of how it affects the family's image)

- He's "uninvited from the family table for the state of his hair"

- When Laila asks what happened to frosted tips, Cat says it was "something about how going beachboy mode was more acceptable than looking like a one-hit wonder dropout" and Jeremy says he might do tips next year "after I've graduated and don't have to deal with the fallout"

Jeremy gets "tense and distant" when his mom texts him

- Also her text tone is an "awful noise" (which could mean nothing but also Jeremy has curated specific text tones for everyone so I do NOT believe this is a coincidence)

4. Jeremy's housing situation is weird

In his own words, Jeremy stays "[with Cat and Laila] from June until the start of the school year" and then once school begins, is "usually only over on the weekends" and lives at his house

- When Jeremy explains this, Jean notices "the way Jeremy's gaze slid past him to peer into the distance" and "the tight tug at the corner of Cat's mouth"

- As @drunkinourtears pointed out, “apparently only [Jeremy] (out of all his siblings) is required to live in their family house the whole year,” referencing the passage "Unlike Bryson, who always came home for the summer, [Annalise] insisted on keeping her own place on the other side of the city year-round." This emphasizes that “Jeremy is the only sibling to be put on a tight leash” regarding his living situation, as both his older brother and YOUNGER sister are allowed their own choices on where to live

Jeremy sneaks in and out of the house "to avoid conflict" and is aided and abetted in this venture by the family's butler

- He says that "the trick to starting Saturdays off on the right foot was to get out of the house as early as possible"

5. A deeply weird financial situation

The Knoxes have money (as evidenced by the butler & mentioned private chef), and Jeremy has access to it to some extent

Jeremy has to deal with his mother's bookkeeper regularly enough that he has the practiced thought that he gets a receipt "so he could file it later" with the thought that it is "always best to have a paper trail"

- He gets receipts three times: when he buys coffee & the gift card for the man in line behind him, when he keeps the receipt from Jean's shirt, and when he gets the receipt for his hair dye job (adding a note with the amount for the cash tip on the top of this one)

Jeremy gives Cat and Laila cash to help with groceries and rent, and Cat "knows how many hoops" he has to jump through to get the money as a result of being on his stepfather's bad side

- As a side note, it's interesting that Jeremy's finances seem to both require his stepfather's approval and are then confirmed by his mother's bookkeeper

- This also ties back into the weird living situation: Jeremy seems to have some financial freedom (he can get his hair done on the book, even though his family does not want him to), but he has to scramble to be able to give Cat and Laila money for the time he lives with them (possibly to disincentivize him from staying there?)

- Annalise, by contrast, has her own place in the city she can stay in year-round, which suggests that she has easier access to the family’s money, or at least more freedom to work with it in regards to her housing situation (shoutout @drunkinourtears for pointing this out!)

6. Jeremy's weird comment about cops

I will just quote this in full because: “There was little to no chance he’d know them, and no reason they’d recognize him, but Jeremy kept his gaze forward and his mouth shut until they were past.”

- This is never expanded on, and it's such an ambiguous passage in terms of what Jeremy means. First, why say there's "little to no chance" he'd know them and not just "no chance"–why would they know him? His politician step-grandpa? Something he did? It just reads less as a general discomfort with cops and more as an avoidance with a specific reason

- Second, "and no reason they'd recognize him" could just mean that they wouldn't know Jeremy Knox, but again, that would be such a weird thing to say. Would they know his name/know about something he did in the past, but just not know his face?

- All in all, this passage reads to me like there's something in Jeremy's past that has made him uncomfortable around cops, and while there's no reason these particular ones would recognize him from that or know about it, the very idea that they might puts him on edge (is there a potential tie between this discomfort and whatever happened in Jeremy's freshman year?)

There’s also Rhemann’s comment after Grayson’s attack: when he wants to bring the police in, he tries to reassure Jean by saying “I’ll send Jeremy away first,” Rhemann said, like that somehow would win Jean over.” It’s easy to read this as Rhemann thinking Jean wants privacy in this moment, but that doesn’t hold up as much considering the specificity of sending JEREMY away, suggesting he assumes Jean is concerned about Jeremy having to be around the cops

- As @drunkinourtears pointed out, his comment suggests that Rhemann knows about whatever Jeremy’s issues with the cops are, and him saying this in front of Lucas and to Jean “implies that Jeremy's situation with cops is common knowledge for the team and [Rhemann] assumes Jean also knows about it” (I 100% didn’t pick up on this until reading the comment about it and it is FASCINATING)

7. Cat and Laila know about whatever happened

Throughout the book, Cat and Laila either trade looks or make faces or almost slip out information about what happened when things come up about Jeremy's past

- They're solidly on his side about it whatever's up with his family, seeming to dislike them quite a bit

- Cat mentioning that therapy helped him out a lot does suggest that they didn't think he was in a good place before

- Cat knows even though she wouldn't have been at the freshman year banquet, only the fifth year seniors would have been (that suggests that the only people who DEFINITELY know would be Laila, Cody, Pat, Derek Thompson, and Shawn Anderson)

Addendum 1: Jeremy is particularly uncomfortable around discussion of suicide

Obviously, this is a very sensitive topic, and there’s every possibility that Jeremy is just uncomfortable because any conversation about suicide is going to be hard. However, as @welcome-to-the-end-of-eras and @catalailas pointed out in the notes, Jeremy’s reactions are generally heightened compared to those around him when suicide comes up

When Jeremy finds out about Wayne, Jean notes that: “In one heartbeat, Jeremy’s entire demeanor changed. Jean watched the blood drain from his face even as Jeremy hopped off his stool and turned away from them. The line of his shoulders was rigid as he listened to whatever Cody had to say.”

Additionally, when Jean suggests Grayson might kill himself like Wayne if he goes to therapy, it’s followed by “That isn’t a joke,” Jeremy said, with unexpected ferocity.”

- Again, these could just be a natural reaction from someone who’s removed from the mafia stuff in a way the other main characters aren’t, but the section about Grayson is also followed by the statement that “Cat winced, but kept her eyes on Jean,” which suggests it might be something more personal to Jeremy, & Cat knows what/why

If there are any other notes you have to add to the evidence board, let me know! Also, if you have any theories about how these things connect and what exactly is going on with our boy Jeremy, I would LOVE to hear them and I WILL add any substantial evidence I missed

[just-a-ghost00]

Santa tell me ~

Today, we're asking Santa about this person's true feelings for you. Do they really care about you? Are they confused? Are they just not feeling it? Let Santa spill the tea for you. Of course, this reading is inspired by Ariana Grande's song, which you can happily listen to while reading your group's content.

Group 1

5 of swords, 4 of pentacles, 9 of cups, 8 of cups, The Tower, 2 of cups, back of the deck Strength

I get a very conflicting energy from this spread. One thing that came to my mind was that this person was not prepared for you to come into their life. And even though a part of them feels like you're a wish come true for them and they definitely feel the connection between you, a part of them can't help but to fear what it means and the implications of it. This person is torn between their heart and their mind. They feel strongly attached to you, in ways that they didn't anticipate. It's like they became attached too quickly and a part of them is like "woah hold on a second, this doesn't feel right". They kinda find it suspicious for some reason that they like you. A part of them doesn't want to admit they do. A part of them wishes they could move on from this connection and close the door, even though it felt magical and just so right. Despite their inner confusion, they feel very protective of you. And I feel like they're grateful that they met you. A part of them holds on to the hope that things could get better in the future but at the same time they doubt it. I also get the feeling that you came in this person's life at a time where they were feeling confused about their own life and kinda closed off. But you opened their eyes about a lot of things and gave them hope. This person was about to give up on a dream of theirs but you prevented them from doing so. This is a very specific message, I feel. You showed this person that life was worth fighting for and for that reason they will forever be grateful and hold you in high regards. You've completely changed this person's perspective and you definitely shocked them in more ways than you could imagine, which may be why they are a little scared of the connection. What they feel is potentially stronger than what they're used to. Maybe this person hadn't been in a relationship for a while and forgot what it was like to be loved. To be honest I feel like there's more to this than what we're shown here and I feel like pulling a couple more cards to get more information. You got the page of pentacles, 6 of wands, Magician and Queen of wands.

They feel happy that they met you because their life took a turn after meeting you. You contributed to this person's happiness and well being, as well as success to some extent. They feel like they owe you a lot. They're also curious and tempted to dive deeper into the connection. They definetely feel physically attracted to you. I feel like this person's feelings for you are quite recent. They developped over time. This person may have not considered you as a potential partner in the past. You may have fell for this person first but they fell harder, I'm getting. I get this feeling of "I did not realize how much importance you had for me until I lost you". For some of you, I'm getting that you cut ties with this person or made a move that really opened their eyes about how you felt about them but most importantly about how they felt towards you. They took you for granted. I feel like, more than how they feel towards you, we're being shown how they feel thanks to you. It's like this person is focused on their own self and not really on you at the moment. They like how you make them feel more than they like you. And I feel like part of this is because this person didn't like themselves much in the past. They are learning to love themselves more thanks to you. So to some degree they feel some kind of affection towards you because of that but I don't feel like this goes any deeper.

Oracle cards | Speak truth, The Outlaw, The Wildling, back of the deck Fate

This person may contact you in the near future to reveal to you certain information that seems to be meaningful to your connection. For some, they may be trying to understand why you cut ties with them or why you said the things you told them. I'm also getting a message of them wanting to travel to gain clarity. Maybe this person is going to tell you that they would like to take their distances as well. But with the Wildling and Fate card I got a feeling like this person had an epiphany about your connection and is wanting to fight for it. Maybe they understand that part of your fate is to separate ways for a time so that you can both better assess what you want out of this connection. Again I got that feeling of curiousity and protectiveness we spoke about earlier. They feel intrigued but also challenged. Being with you, I feel, asks of them a lot of courage and stepping out of their comfort zone which they are not comfortable with at the moment. With all those swords, it gives me that kind of "up in the air" feeling. Kinda like static electricity. There's a tension between you that has not been resolved. It gives me unfinished business vibes. Like maybe you didn't really get the chance to get this relationship going so you both feel puzzled and at a loss as to what this means for you. Really, a lot of confusion surrounding this person's energy.

Group 2

The Lovers rx, Chariot, King of pentacles, 4 of pentacles, Queen of cups, The Empress, back of the deck Judgement

As soon as I started to get the first cards, I heard very clearly "I made a choice. I don't mean to disrespect you but I love myself more.". The cards tell me that, as much as this person likes you, they decided to move on from the connection. This asked a lot of thinking but most importantly a lot of courage. It was not an easy decision to make. This person felt like their stability was being put at risk in your presence and they valued it too much to let it be threatened by something or someone else. This spread really gives me a "I chose myself over you" vibe. I also got the message that this person chose their career over you. I heard "now I see clearly". It's not that they didn't love you. The feelings were there. But they were not as strong as this person's love for themselves or commitment to their job. I feel like this person got really sad making this choice because they appreciate you a lot and you mattered a lot to them. And they don't want to hurt you. I really get a feeling of this person wanting to protect you at all costs but also being in a difficult position because they don't feel safe in this connection. They give me this message of "I need to protect myself and that includes taking my distances from you". This person wants me to tell you that they truly respect you and that they were genuine every time they interacted with you. They want me to assure you that it was never their intention to play with you or manipulate you. They want you to know that them not choosing you shouldn't make you doubt yourself and your beauty. I'm getting the message of "I don't want you to blame yourself for what happens". They don't want you to think that you're not loveable or worthy of a connection because they honestly think that you are beautiful and adorable. I don't know why but the imagery of the 4 of pentacles gave me the impression of someone saying "you'll always be dear to my heart".

Oracle cards | Strength, Movement, Paradox, back of the deck withdraw

It took a lot of time before this person came to the conclusion that they should move on from your connection. Part of this decision could have been influenced by their family or their ancestry. But it could also have been triggered by a significant change in their life. Specifically, I am picking up on someone's career evolving and needing more effort and attention. Like maybe they got a promotion or they were asked to move to a bigger company or to go abroad. And these circumstances were just not compatible with being in a relationship with you. And to this person it was hard because a part of them knows that you are connected and that your meeting happened for a reason. So they were thinking like "why did I meet this person only to have to turn my back on them?". It didn't make sense to them at first but now they know that they have to focus on themselves and retreat their energy, no matter how painful that may be. A part of them hopes that you can understand this decision and that you won't hold grudges against them. Also I feel like a part of them hopes that in the future their circumstances will change and allow them to come back to you, but that possibility is too unsure and they feel like they cannot bet on that.

Group 3

4 of cups, The Star, The Sun, 10 of swords, Hierophant, 3 of wands, back of the deck 5 of wands

This person is a bit guarded around you but the truth is they like you more than they let on. Part of the reason why they are guarded is because they're a bit emotionally unavailable, still affected by past experience. But this person is really intrigued by you. Usually, in the 4 of cups cards, the character depicted is not paying attention to the cup that's offered. But here, the character is curiously looking at it and completely ignoring the other 3 cups. So this tells me that even if other people may be interested in your person, they only have eyes for you. They feel like you complement them well. They're also physically attracted to you. They feel competitive around you, like they have to prove themselves at all costs. This person feels hopeful when it comes to you. Even though they're scared and still hurt, they envision a bright future with you and they are genuinely considering you as a potential partner. They want to get closer to you, get to know you on a personal level. Right now they may be keeping things very light and try to appear as disinterested but certain actions may betray them. This may be someone that you interact with on social media a lot. They think that you're attractive and a lot of people may be interested in you. Which adds to their competitive spirit. Also part of the reason why they're drawn to you is because of how different you are. You and this person may come from different cultures or social backgrounds. They feel connected to you to some extent and though they envision you as a potential partner they may actually be afraid of commitment. So this person may be a bit wishy washy at times. They're making a lot of plans in their head and trying to imagine how they can navigate their way to you. They're slowly tapping into their feelings for you and trying to understand them.

Oracle cards | The Explorer, Nature, Get Creative, back of the deck Patience

I get the message that you inspire this person a lot. Their feelings for you allows them to create various things. Especially if they are an artist or enjoy art as their hobby, you may be this person's muse. When they go on walks, this person thinks about you a lot. I get the message that they only truly allow themselves to think of you and daydream about you when they're alone. This is when they can fully explore the depths of the connection and try to figure out what it means to them. When this person is alone, they're having a lot of fantasies of you. This is when they feel the most connected to you, because they don't let their ego stand in the way in such moments. I feel like this person is truly being themselves only when no one's around. In public, they may try to act tough and pretend that they don't like you. This may be a defense mechanism. This may be very specific but I get the message that this person may have been bullied in the past because of what and who they loved. This is a trauma that this person has to heal. With the patience card, I get the feeling that it will take time for them to fully come to terms with how they feel towards you and where they want things to go exactly. Because I feel like for now, this person doesn't really dare to dream of a future with you, even if they strongly feel pulled towards you. This may be because of societal expectations or pressure being put on their shoulders by their loved ones.

[marikosfragrance]

BLUE LOCK

<*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*>

Characters : Seishiro Nagi, Mikage Reo, Shidou Ryusei, Bachira Meguru

Contents : My thoughts on whether or not they'll actually fall in love? Depending on the character, how long will it take? And what conditions must be met for it to happen? And, depending on the character, will they not fall in love at all?

Note : Please keep in mind that this is my own interpretation of how characters will take on this situation and act on them, I don’t however assume and force this into a canonical aspect, I am not the creator of Blue Lock so take this post however you'd like if it is canon enough for you, or if it isnt, everyone has their own interpretations on each characters, but I am merely showcasing how I interpreted them, taking heed of the information in the manga and anime at hand, as I am trying to understand their character. There might be some information that lacks, maybe in the case of shidou, but it is only because we havent caught a glimpse of his past yet, and thus I am unable to fully grasp his entire characters, but once again, this is just my own interpretation. Thank you, and enjoy reading.

Nagi Seishiro

Can they fall in love? : Too lazy for it. I am sure Nagi can feel things, and develop feelings, but he wouldn't outright desire for the feeling of love. Nagi is described as laid back, unbothered, and deems hard work as an irrelevance. In the Nagi movie, this is further proved when he mentions how working hard, for academics, clubs, and love is a hassle and too much work for him. He sees himself in a future where he isn't working, is living good and satisfied and he sees it as enough for him.

But then again—

Nagi is no doubt still a human. So despite him not seeing it in his future, there is no room for guarante that he won't fall in love especially with the right person for him. Nagi fits into one of those tropes where the character can fall in love and develop feelings for someone, but they never envision it for themselves, yet they find it coming to them at the most unexpected times, then suddenly their whole view on it changes and they see themselves being with that person. Nagi wouldn't directly try and find love, he isn't desperate nor does he feel like it. However, in his case, if he were to fall in love, it would be in a situation where love comes to him.

How long would it take? : 5-6 months? Nagi might start falling in love in that duration, but he won't recognize the feeling until someone brings it up which would take more than 5-6 months for sure.

What conditions should be met? :

1. That other person initiates. I cannot see him being the first to do the "forming of connection".

2. That person respects his boundaries and doesn't try forcing him to do things outside of his comfort zone, unless he has already started to have feelings, if that person tries to force him to do something, only at the beginning of their growing connection, Nagi would view them as a hassle and it might cause some strains in their relationship.

3. However, by the end of it, Nagi is someone that probably won't have any room for complaints if someone truly wishes to be with him. For him, deep inside— no one would put up with him as much as that person that is trying their best to make a connection with him.

Reo being one of the few people that he views as someone he has become attached to, is a great example.

But if someone wants a deep, romantic connection, it wouldn't be so problematic compared to others. That person just has to initiate.

Mikage Reo

Can they fall in love? : Yes, he can. I don't see Reo being unable to fall inlove.

Reo is someone that is sociable and just from this alone says a lot about his character. He is able to form connections, socialize, make meaningful relationships with people. It wouldn't be surprising if he does indeed fall inlove.

How long will it take? : For Reo, it depends. The person has to be constantly involved in his life if ever that person wants to speed up the process. However, I believe Reo will try to also keep his mind to his success, such as soccer and winning the world Cup. He has grown up being dissatisfied with gaining things as easily with a snap of his fingers. For him, soccer is a way for him to redeem and prove himself, to both his parents and his own sense of self. Unless that person really catches his attention, I think he would fall in love, acts on it but only develop it further once he achieved his dream.

He would fall in love, that's for sure but he is responsible and if he sets his eyes on a goal, i feel he wouldnt be the type to back down on it. He also manages his time responsibly in which might aid him into giving time for the person that he fancy, but he would only further develop the relationship once he has his goals cleared up or achieved.

How long would it take? : I think if he has a type, he would stick with it, but maybe he would reconsider if the person intrigues him greatly.

If the person is his type, attraction would take a week and falling inlove in a month or more. But if the person isn't his type, it would take him around 4 months at the least, or more if ever.

What conditions must be met for him to fall inlove?:

1. He finds time.

2. The person intrigues him

I can place more, but it might feel forced so let's stick with this for now. Reo is responsible than most characters in blue lock, he has a broad view of how social circles work, and has a deep understanding with making connections. He can fall inlove and exert time to it if he sees the person as worthy of it.

I cannot see him wasting time on fleeting relationships, if he falls in love— he is serious.

Shidou Ryusei

Can they fall in love? : Absolutely. Shidou is a free person— someone that even chains have nothing against to. He feels whatever he likes. Does whatever he wants, and proceeds to life how he sees it. His character is quite complex for me to understand with the lack of information, on his character and his past. But with the information I currently have on him, in the anime, manga and the trivia. I can tell that shidou is someone that embodies the concept of freedom. For him, he also has his own philosophy on life and stays true to it. I feel like if someone just matches his vibe, doesn't restrain him, and will accept him for who he is, he would feel accepted and eventually fall for that person.

That person doesn't necessarily have to match his vibe, that person can also be someone that keeps him grounded and knows when to step up. But someone that matches how he does things can also make him "explode".

How long would it take : With the right action, it wouldn't take so long. Maybe even a few weeks, if done right. However, if the person is someone that doesnt show their emotions often, it might take a bit longer, but still not as long as the others, Shidou is upfront about his feelings, so if he feels the slightest thing for a person, he isn't afraid to own up to it which is why it wouldn't take so long for him.

What conditions must be met :

1. That person isn't someone that restricts his freedom.

2. The person can accept him for who he is.

3. That person can make him "explode" or so he says, which I think means— make him excited or makes him feel like his freedom is understood

In short, absolutely. He can fall inlove. But the person also has to be someone accepting. I think personality wouldn't matter much, nor the face or physical features, what matters to him is someone that can either keep him grounded and understands his freedom but still refrain him from overdoing things, or someone that understands his concept as a whole and embodies it themselves and also does things that matches his.

Bachira Meguru

Can they fall in love? : Yes, Bachira can fall in love. Bachira is someone that has their fear of being alone, the fear of loneliness. For me, it wouldn't be too unusual if he even craves something like love. Currently, friends that can play soccer with him is already enough to satiate his loneliness however, if someone is willing to love him, I dont see him being the one to complain— he might even just accept then there and then if he sees himself with that person.

But it doesn't mean he just accepts whoever shows interest in him. Bachira has endured loneliness in the past but that doesn't make him desperate to the point of letting anyone that has interest in him, date him on the spot. He can be aware of things, and understand situations. Bachira might fall for anyone with the right intentions. Or those he deems interesting and have formed an emotional connection over.

But if he feels they are it— Bachira would start to cling to this said person, his loneliness dependant on them.

How long would it take : A month atleast. But if they are someone that Bachira can tell is kind, or someone that has no ulterior motive, or just simply interests him, he wouldn't be afraid to fall for that person, even if the fear of being left alone is there deep inside. A month, or less.

What conditions must be met :

1. That person must be someone he has formed an emotional connection with.

2. He wouldn't be picky, he might even feel like no one would want him deep down inside.

3. If someone shows interest in him, they must have their attention all on him, no secondary interest, no any room left for other people, otherwise Bachira's fear of being left alone and abandonment would trigger and he might start to doubt.

In short, yes he can. But I see Bachira as someone that doesnt want to endure the hurt of being left alone, so he must really be sure this person won't do it. If he starts dating someone, he would no doubt treasure them deep down inside, thinking no one else other than this person would want to be with him.

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[buttercupjosh]

The Perfect Proposal (the 4 times you expected that Mat was going to propose + the 1 time he actually did)

(Gif credit to @mattymartin)

word count: 1,968

genres: established relationship, fluff, self-insert

warnings: none

A/N: This story is based off of the song “Joy of My Life” by Chris Stapleton and I make references to this song throughout the story. I highly recommend listening to this song before reading my story. This story is short, sweet and fluffy. It’s not set at a specific moment in time (It’s taking place in a fictional future but you could also say that it’s set this upcoming season or even a past season). It’s written with a female reader in mind because I’m a female of color but the reader doesn’t specifically have to be a POC or a woman and there’s little dialogue. This is not a sequel to Your Favorite Secret (which you can still read and check out and if you want this to be a sequel to that, you can interpret it that way). As always, I’m open to any and all feedback, comments or questions; just put them in my inbox or dm me. Thank you so much in advance for reading, I appreciate it😌

(P.S. I have other stories (linked here) that I have written for other players as well if you want to check it out)

“Someday it will come right on cue.” -Somewhere Love Is Waiting for You from the Schmigadoon TV series soundtrack

Prologue

Meeting Mat changed your life in the best way possible. You took Mat’s breath away when you met up for your very first date and since then, you continued to take his breath away in small doses every time you saw him. He added so much goodness and love into your life and you did the same for him. Mat felt so grateful to have you in his life and even though he made millions, being with you was his greatest treasure. You and Mat deeply appreciated each and every moment you had together, no matter how big or small it was; the two years that you had been together so far were some of your greatest times. You were both so smitten that you always looked at each other with such deep love and devotion and couldn’t get enough of your significant other’s presence. For a while, Mat knew that he wanted to propose to you but he just needed to figure out the best way how to and time when to ask that all-important question.

————————————————————

It finally happened. After 3 challenging years, you finally completed law school and earned your Juris Doctor degree from NYU. All of your friends and family came into town to celebrate your accomplishment. In order to accommodate everyone, Mat graciously rented a large AirBnb house in the Hamptons to host your graduation party. You handled some aspects of the party planning while Mat handled the rest and the party went very well. During the congratulations portion of the evening, Mat wanted to give a quick remark to acknowledge your achievement.

“For the past 2 years, I watched this wonderful person ambitiously work their way through law school. There were a lot of late nights, early mornings and so many case reviews and vocabulary study sessions that I think I could go get a law degree. Y/N, to say that I am proud of you is a massive understatement. My love, you are so amazing and you did it. I love you so much. Because I love you so much, I have a surprise for you.” Mat spoke.

This moment seemed like it was the right time for Mat to ask for your hand in marriage; you had been dating for a while, you lived together and blended your families together, and he had just finished a great speech that made all of the party’s attendees realize how much he was in love with you. Instead, Mat handed you an envelope. Inside the envelope was a copy of a check for the exact amount that you owed in student loans and a letter informing you that your loans were fully paid off. You couldn’t believe what was happening and began to cry.

“How did you do this?”, you mustered out through your tears of joy.

“So you know how you gave me access to your book of important information in case anything happened to you? Well, I asked Liana to call the loan office to pretend to be you and ask for your account balance”, Mat cheesily revealed.

Mat saw firsthand how much distress and frustration law school caused you so he wanted to help out someone he deeply loved by eliminating the stress of having to pay for a student loan; this surprise was better than an engagement ring.

————————————————————

After your graduation party and after the Islanders were eliminated from playoffs, it was the official start of the off-season. This year, it was a milestone birthday for Mat’s dad so the Barzal family decided to do a European summer vacation to celebrate. You were important enough to their family that you had been invited and Liana, Mat’s sister, also invited her best friend to accompany her on the trip.

Hand-in-hand with the man you considered to be the love of your life and his family, for 3 weeks, you explored England, France, Monaco, and Mat’s ancestral homeland of Italy. In England, you indulged in English culture while Mat hilariously attempted a British accent. In France, you shared plenty of kisses with your lover in the City of Love, swooning every time Mat spoke French. In Monaco, you and Mat felt like the protagonists of a spy thriller while hanging out in the city.

Once you arrived in Italy, you got to see a different side of Mat that rarely came out. He had been to Italy several times before but he was thrilled to share all that he knew about that special place with you. Mat glowed differently whenever you got authentic gelato together or when he swam in the waters along the Amalfi Coast. Of course, throughout the trip, you still spent plenty of time with Mat’s parents, sister, and her friend and attended a lovely birthday dinner on a boat for Mat’s dad while visiting Sicily.

On the plane ride traveling back to Canada after your whirlwind European tour, you thought to yourself that you were going to come back to North America with a new jewelry addition to your left hand; you did have a lot of date nights and one-on-one time with Mat on the trip. However, your wonderful boyfriend did get you a gorgeous Cartier love bracelet from the official store in Paris and you were returning back with the gift of good memories that were created with your future in-laws.

————————————————————

The remainder of the off-season went by so quickly; between weddings, summer holidays, and other events all happening, you and Mat were swept in so many different directions. Time flies when you’re having fun and soon, it was already time to return to Long Island for the hockey season.

The usual ups, downs, and chaos of the hockey season lingered in your household but you navigated through it together. As the season went on, you spent a lot of time studying for the Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam and Universal Bar Exam, which allowed you to become eligible to be admitted to the New York State Bar next year. Even though you had those responsibilities, you still supported Mat at most of his home games. One of the things about Mat that you loved was how he would always quietly tiptoe into your shared home after a late game but he loved how you always waited up for him to come home after every game, regardless of what time he returned. Before you both knew it, the year was winding down and it was almost Christmas time. You and Mat had decided to host Christmas this year and both of your families were coming. This wasn’t the first time that both of your families had been together to celebrate an occasion; they were there all together for your law school graduation earlier in the year and both sides enjoyed being together as one cohesive unit but for some reason, things felt different to you this holiday season.

You spent hours preparing and making sure that everything was right for the arrival of your guests. Christmas came and went wonderfully. It was so nice to have your families together during the holidays. You gifted Mat a new game day tie and a gift card to one of his favorite road restaurants; Mat got you a nice bag to carry all of your work things and a personalized padfolio for you to take all of your legal notes in.

Yes, you were secretly expecting a diamond underneath the tree this year but it was okay because you still got other great gifts as well. Despite wanting something else, you still deeply cherished the time you got to spend with your loved ones.

————————————————————

After the holidays were over, you and Mat settled back into your respective routines until it was All-Star Break. Mat was not chosen for the All-Star Game that year and some of the Islanders players and families decided to go to the Bahamas for their team All-Star Break trip. The time away gave you and Mat both some essential rest and relaxation. At the end of February, you were scheduled to take the Universal Bar Exam but you took a break from studying to enjoy your mini-vacation. You stayed with your lover and company at a phenomenal resort; you swam with dolphins, relaxed at the spa, and ate so much tasty food. You also enjoyed lots of group activities with Mat and his teammates and their respective significant others. During the trip, one of Mat’s best friends’, Anthony, and his long-term girlfriend, Emma got engaged. It stung a little to see someone else reach the relationship milestone you deeply desired to share with Mat and you had expected that it was going to be you and your lover’s turn to share that special romantic moment on this trip, however, you were happy for your friends.

————————————————————

One evening, you came home from a long, exhausting day of work. After passing both the Universal Bar Exam and Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam and completing some other requirements, you were admitted to the New York State Bar last month and got a job as a junior attorney. It was a pleasant surprise to see Mat cooking; he was subtly singing in the kitchen and tenderly caring for some handmade pasta. You couldn’t quite make out what song Mat was singing but it didn’t matter what it was because you had caught him singing songs that you’ve played around the house and pop songs from the radio plenty of times before. You smiled to yourself as watched him in his element before slipping away for a much-needed shower.

After you came out of the shower and changed, there was a beautiful plate of pasta waiting for you on the table. Mat tapped deep into his Italian heritage and made a delectable dinner for the two of you. You shared with Mat the details of work and although, he may not quite fully understand everything you were expressing your feelings about, he still listened to you as you rambled on. After dinner concluded, you and Mat were going to share a box of bakery cannolis and watch a movie on the couch but Mat told you to wait at the table and suddenly got up. He returned to the room with a look of nervousness on his face. You asked Mat if he was okay but you could tell that he had something important to say.

“I’ve been holding onto this ring for a while. There were so many other times that I wanted to ask but there’s just something that feels so right about this moment. Sitting here, I realized something very important. I want to spend the rest of my life, making you dinner when I can and listening to you speak. I want to continue to come home from my games to you and wake up next to you. I have the greatest honor of knowing and loving you. You have the sweetest heart that’s made of gold and you are like an angel brought down to Earth from Heaven. I want to be by your side forever. Y/N, you are the joy of my life. Will you marry me?” Mat declared while holding out the engagement ring of your dreams in a Tiffany blue box.

You were speechless because Mat was right; this was the perfect moment. You looked straight into Mat’s green eyes that you admired so dearly and accepted his marriage proposal; you were both super excited to embark on this new journey in your relationship. You and Mat swayed with each other to the sound of your fiance’s voice, serenading you to “Joy Of My Life” by Chris Stapleton, the same song Mat was singing to himself earlier. Patience was an important virtue and all of that waiting paid off at the right time.

[hanafubukki]

Summary: General Vanrouge watches a couple dance.

Laughter reached his ears from where he sat.

Joyous and carefree.

From his position, he can see the shadows twirling around each other in what seemed to be a kitchen.

He watched as someone, who had a similar appearance to his own, lifted another up before swinging them into his arms.

Normally, he wouldn’t believe such a being would be related to him in any way.

But magic did not lie, and the one from this fae matched his own.

A shiver ran down his spine.

Sharp magenta met crimson red.

A warning.

Do not ruin this moment.

He wasn’t planning to.

This view before him, spoke of peace and tranquility.

He…didn’t want his hands full of scars and blood to mar such a scene.

He looked away as the two before him kissed.

A nap right now seems like the perfect opportunity.

…but a part of him yearned.

“I was wondering when you would pop up.”

Crimson eyes met his own.

Stubborn. Young. Rebellious.

Someone who didn’t know what life held for him.

Lilia kind of pitied his younger self, but knew saying such might lead to an altercation.

Which generally he wouldn’t mind at all, it would be amusing to compare his strengths now to back then.

But he didn’t want the risk of waking you and the others up. He already had to talk down Malleus from accompanying him.

“You’re with a…human.”

Lilia held back a laugh, “That’s for you to find out.”

The General before him bristled before sighing. It seems he knew it was a losing battle to try and get any information out of him.

“Listen up you!”

The sharp glare sent his way had him smirking.

“Never let this moment go. What you see now? This is the future you can look forward to. Come what may, hold on and do not let go.”

“How do I know this isn’t a trick?”

“Come General~ You and I both know magic never lies.”

The General looked away. How amusing. He was pouting. Lilia itched to tease him more.

“Are…you happy?”

Ah. The question he always held in and never spoke nor showed back during his days as the Phantom General.

“Yes. More than you can imagine.”

Lilia can see the yearning his younger self held deep within as he looked towards where his family stayed.

You’ll know happiness. You’ll experience it yourself. It will take years of pain and suffering, but it will be worth it.

“You have much to look forward to.”

General Vanrouge straightened his stance, a new shine in his eyes.

Good. It will serve him well in his journey.

“I didn’t know I would become so sappy.”

“Kufufu~ That’s what love does to a fae. It changes you.”

The face the General made had him almost bending over in laughter.

Ah yes, he remembers this phase of his. The General has so much to learn…to acknowledge. Some of which even he didn’t learn until many years ago.

During a certain event at Night Raven College, but he wasn’t going to tell him that.

Seeing his past self, Lilia ached to go back to his family. Back to their warmth.

For now, though, he waited with a version of himself he hadn’t seen in a long while. One, that he would once upon a time run away from.

But now?

He had long ago acknowledged this side of himself, for it was this version of himself that led him to his current happiness. That led him to his loves.

And he couldn’t be more grateful.

The past and future stood side by side, basking in this tranquility, enjoying what will come and what currently is.

Bonus:

“Why do you look like that.”

“Hey! I look cute!”

I felt so soft and in love when writing this 🥹🥹🥰

(I feel like I wrote a part of my soul into this 🥰💞)

[haikyu-mp4]

Suspected proposal

"Did you hear about Sakusa? He proposed to his long-term girlfriend today! But I’m not judging or anything!" – @kittygirl11829 for my Gossip Event.

word count; 834 – f!reader

The first one to become suspicious of a possible proposal was Hinata. He just so happened to look over Sakusa’s shoulder while the black-haired man looked at diamond rings on his phone. Unfortunately, he had switched it off the second he realised he wasn’t alone, and not another word was spoken about it.

Atsumu was next because of a certain look on Sakusa’s face as of late. It made him look restless, which wasn’t normal for him. It wasn’t that he didn’t focus on practices anymore, but something else seemed to be on his mind as well.

Bokuto didn’t really put two and two together himself, but when Atsumu brought up his information, the owl shared that he had seen Sakusa at the jeweller the week before, and he couldn’t believe he didn’t say hi!

No doubt, Sakusa would be proposing to his girlfriend. 

You’ve been dating Sakusa for a long time, ever since your first year of university. This means you also developed close friendships with all of your boyfriend’s friends. Therefore, the three suspicious MSBY boys snuck up to Sakusa after practice one day (meaning they ran over and cornered him so he couldn’t run away) with the wish to participate in making you say yes. 

“Are you proposing to y/n?” Atsumu and Hinata asked him, just like they rehearsed, however-

“CAN WE HELP WITH THE PROPOSAL?” Bokuto was practically bouncing with excitement.

Atsumu turned to him with a frown. “I thought we agreed to be demure and mindful.”

Sakusa rolled his eyes and sighed, unsure if he was ready for his own answer. “I would like your help with my proposal.”

The three were silenced as they looked at Sakusa in surprise, making him squirm under their gazes.

“You asked.”

Hinata was the first to recover. “What do you need?”

Sakusa smiled, not big but it was definitely something. “I know she’d love to have different angles to choose from for the proposal video. Can you three spread out and film it?”

In near-perfect sync, the three volleyball players clicked their heels together and saluted him. “Sir, yes sir!”

You had no idea Sakusa wanted to propose to you today. It wasn’t uncommon for him to invite you to a fancy restaurant, asking you to dress up with him and take some time off to just be together and have good food.

This time shouldn’t have been any different.

The only peculiar thing was the head of bright orange hair that almost blended in with the flower arrangements. And the grey hair that zoomed past the window earlier before someone in a hoodie and black mask asked for a table. And the bleach blonde hair peeking out from that guy in the corner’s cap while he played on his phone without ordering any food.

Why are Sakusa’s friends here?

Still, no matter how suspicious you were, you gasped in shock when Sakusa got out of his chair and knelt beside you on one knee, holding up a little velvet box with a gorgeous ring. Your eyes brimmed with happy tears as he nervously recited his speech.

“You are already such an integral part of my life. You make every day better, and I want to spend every moment with you by my side. I want to call you my wife, or fiancé for now. You mean more to me than life itself and I will dedicate every second of the rest of my life to making you happy if you would do me the honour of marrying me.”

You were breathless, barely remembering that you should probably answer him.

“Yes! I’ll marry you, I’ll marry you a thousand times!”

The whole restaurant erupted in cheers, and the loudest was from your three dear friends (who were clearly more used to standing out in a crowd than hiding in it, which should become a funny story for the future).

w: this last part is suggestive

After making your way home, nothing could keep your hands off each other. That dedication for the rest of his life started right now as he took his sweet time decorating your skin in sensual kisses, lifting your arm so he could trail them all the way to your new ring.

“Sakusa y/n.”

“I think I doodled that in my notebook once,” you purred, thinking back to the days when you stared at the back of his head in class.

“You have bewitched me,” he accused with a dopey smile, hands sneaking around you to unzip your dress.

“Body and soul,” you whispered before once again capturing his lips in a kiss.

Bokuto, Hinata and Atsumu totally misread the situation, and realised so as they came up to your house door and heard you moaning Sakusa’s name a little too loud for it to be anything other than…“Let’s drink at mine instead,” Atsumu announced, already turning around and rushing off, careful with the six-pack of beer he carried in each hand. You would be having a private celebration for now.

masterlist

[mommageto]

Domestic Hashira: Part 2 (Himejima x Reader)

Title: Domestic Hashira: Part 2 (Himejima x Reader)

Word Count:  1808  words

Description: (Y/n) and Gyomei navigating the unfamiliar territory of an arranged marriage. 

Warning/s: This fan fiction may contain disturbing or implied sexual content that may not be suitable or sensitive for readers. Read at your own risk. 

Part 1

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The sun is veiled by haze, and the sound of bushes dancing as the freezing breeze passes by. You were sitting on a rock beside a river that flows from the feeble waterfalls. It was one of those walks you enjoyed taking with Himejima when neither of you was occupied with any activity on that day. The walk you always have with him to enjoy the nature surrounding you always ends up with exciting conversations to get to know each other better. 

As newlyweds, it seemed too far to build a relationship with a man you barely knew in the beginning. Nevertheless, you both had a mutual apprehension about starting over. Throughout the days, you and Himejima opened up to one another, starting with both your pasts, where you found comfort in each other. 

"I couldn't accept all of the things that happened that day. My parents were everything to me. It wasn't easy to lose both of them. I miss them so much," you said to Himejima while looking down on the stream of water passing through your feet. With your words, Gyomei turned to you and gently placed his large hands on your head. He rubbed your head tenderly. "(Y/n), your parents loved you deeply. They may not be here, but their memory lives on in you," he replied.

Himejima's words of affirmation have always filled your recent days with delight and a sense of security. There is something about his use of words that tells you it is precisely what you need to hear. That healed a part of you and allowed you to look forward to your future with clarity. Gyomei's line of work may be risky, but you have faith in him. 

Gyomei informed you that he will be away for a week for a mission on a farther land south, where there were incidents of demons attacking a huge village. This is the part of your relationship that you dislike the least. It is not because he is constantly putting his life on hold but because of the loneliness that comes with his absence that you have to endure.

To doubt his skills is merely an act of foolery. Himejima always trained with relentless determination. He is committed to every single thing he does, from his training to his relationship with you. Himejima ensures that he is trying his best, if not becoming better. This is a part of him that makes you admire him even more. 

As you've accomplished your social duties as a wife, you went straight home. This was the day Himejima ought to arrive. Nothing but the pure longing to reach out and be in your husband's arms is what you desire. With such haste, you went to the training area by your house. Himejima frequently goes to the training area. This is how he usually finds consolation in meditating after an extended mission. There he was, standing on his feet, and you approached the giant man from behind. 

Gyomei, a subtle shift in his massive form, tells you he knows you're there around the place. Even before you and Himejima became closer, he never failed to sense whenever you were around. He indeed did possess quality senses, and they were helpful in his relationship with you. The stone hashira has put his boulder to a halt and turned to greet you. 

With you closer to him, he pulled you in for a warm and delicate embrace. You can feel the tears in his eyes falling down. "I've missed you so much," you whisper in his ear. His arms tightened around you, offering a comforting warmth against the chill of the evening. For a moment, there were only the two of you in an intimate embrace, leaving only the soft rhythm of your heartbeats echoing in the quiet space between you.

As you slowly move away from Gyomei's grasp, you look up to him and see a delicate smile painted on his face. This offers you a bundle of joy. His hand cups your face to feel your being. "I'm so glad to be back home with you," he says. You leaned on his hand and rubbed it. You never fail to appreciate the physical love you share with Gyomei.

"I apologize for having kept you waiting."

"No, you don't have to. I'm just happy you're here with me now."

"That reminds me," he says. With a slight pause, he pulled out a rectangle-shaped box from his pocket and gave it to you. "I got you something while I was away," he continued. You opened the gift to see a sakura kanzashi. Your eyes lit up at how mesmerizing it was.

The smile on your face has doubled from what it was a while ago. You cannot help but be flattered by his gift. "I thought you were just the strongest and biggest Hashira there is," you teased him. "You never told me that you're also the sweetest Hashira." 

A gentle chuckle escaped his lips. "I may be a hashira, but I am your husband, too."

You loved every moment you shared with Gyomei. It didn't take long for your relationship with Himejima to flourish. Both of you were well respected by everyone in the Demon Slayer Corps. With your lineage as a relative of Kagaya Ubuyashiki and Gyomei's position as the leader of the hashira, people tend to be attentive whenever you and your husband are both around. The other people thought you were a beloved couple. 

After you had dinner with Himejima, he held your hand on the way to your shared bedroom. The night was still young, and both of you decided to cozy up before sleeping together. This is something you enjoy with Gyomei during the night. He's lying at your back, and you're in his arms, watching the moon's watchful gaze from your window.

The size difference between both of you has made you feel like a stuffed toy for him. Himejima does not like to admit it, but he loves your size. He perceives you as a fragile being for him to forever protect and hold. 

"Are you comfortable enough, (y/n)?" He asks you. You turned your head at him and nodded in response, only for him to plant a kiss on your forehead afterward. The way his lips filled your forehead made you feel the love of Gyomei's physical affection. 

It didn't take long for you to face him and start kissing his cheeks one by one after another. Himejima could feel your kisses all over his face. Until you reached his lips. This caused him to be surprised and stare at you for a while. The eye contact you both had was full of tension until you both gave in to the pleasure of kissing each other on the lips. 

Your body was leaning at Himejima's massive form with arms wrapped around his being, and you could feel the heat of his body pressing into you. His arms moved down from your hair, slowly reaching to your waist, feeling the moment he shared with you. It didn't take long for your hands to feel his hard and muscular form, moving your hands from his shoulder to his biceps. You can feel Gyomei's hands tighten his grip while holding your waist. This encouraged you to explore more of his built form with your hands while not holding back from the intimate union of both of your lips. 

Every part of him is bulky and muscular; you can appreciate Himejima's athletic physique as you continue caressing his body. Despite his large, hard chest, you felt the fast beat of his heart's vibration. As you were in the moment, you felt greedy for Himejima. You wanted more of him, and you needed more of Gyomei. Your left hand was supposed to feel his abdomen, but it dropped between his legs, where you felt the heat of his hot and large manhood. 

Himejima pushed you away. It took a moment for you to catch your breath. The tension, the heat, and the feeling were there, but Gyomei stopped them. For a while, you felt the sense of embarrassment creep up from your head to your toe. 'Was I pushing myself onto him?' you thought to yourself. 

This made you feel uneasy. For a woman, it is unlikely for this to happen or for you to feel this way. Numerous thoughts filled your head, and you questioned why Himejima stopped. He is your husband, and you have undergone the sacred act of marriage; you didn't understand how it felt wrong. It seems to you that Gyomei doesn't feel as 'attracted' to you as you thought.

"(Y/n)—" he uttered, but the embarrassment you felt made you not want to face your husband. 

The night felt like your first day; it was silent, and not much conversation was involved, which was different from how you fixed it to be. It also felt like a long night, as you could not put yourself to sleep. However, it felt like the stone hashira did not get to rest peacefully either. As you've noticed, Gyomei does not sleep silently. He has a deep, rumbling snore, and that is something you have observed after several nights of sleeping beside him.

The following day, you can hear the morning chirps of the birds, and the sun's rays hit a part of your room. Your eyes slowly opened to wake you up. Your hand reached out to your side to find the familiar being you slept with. Himejima's presence beside you was nowhere to be seen as you opened both your eyes. You sat down to collect yourself and saw his bed area fixed already. Thus, your brain recollects the memory of last night. You were hoping for that night to be just a nightmare. 

It was still too early in the morning. The thought of where your husband is is bothering you. 'Did he leave for a mission?' you pondered. You walked around your house to search for him. You peeked at the training area by your home, where Himejima usually does his morning meditation and training. There was no sign of him there. 

"My lady, are you looking for Himejima-sama?" You were startled by the voice of your older servant, Yoko. "Himejima-sama woke up early to train near the waterfall."

It didn't take long for you to go there and watch your husband do intense training. You can only watch from afar, as you do not want to talk to Himejima for now. The view of the stone hashira withstanding the pressure from the waterfall. With the time you spent knowing your husband, he only does intense training when he's stressed after a battle where he could've saved many lives. However, to your knowledge, something like that has not happened previously.

This story has a Part 3.

[felassan]

July 22nd DA:TV Game Informer article (their last DA:TV coverage article) on Everything we Know about Bellara - cliff notes:

Bellara is Dalish elf (played by Jee Young Han as we know). There might be more to her than meets the eye

"Now, with two of [the elven] gods on the loose, magic has poured back into the world in a big way"

CC is expansive

Bellara is the first companion we will recruit (Neve and Harding join automatically it seems)

She is a mage, a Veil Jumper (who she represents), quirky, energetic, effervescent, optimistic, bubbly, academic, a tinkerer, an explorer of ancient elven ruins

John Epler wrote her and led her development, and collective team effort from lots of departments brought her to life

The BW team really love her

Gary McKay quote: "I love Bellara, I think she's fantastic. I see people that I know in her and so that's how she really resonates with me. I love the whole tinkerer aspect to her. It was a collective to bring that character to life. It was everything from the writers, to the editors, the animators, to character modelers, to the texturing, to how we light her. I'm really proud of that character."

She is a good choice in combat for both support and elemental combos. She starts out as a support character, but can be built in other ways

She attacks with a bow at range using electrically-charged arrows. She can also cast time-slow and healing spells (she can be built to heal Rook autonomously). She does this by channeling magical energy into her gauntlet

As such she leans into electrical damage

Damage type matters a lot in the strategy and tactics of combat

She can unleash a devastating vortex to pull enemies into an electrical storm (an AOE spell)

She can debuff enemies with the shocked affliction, which makes them take passive damage

Corinne Busche quote: "Oh my goodness, she is amazing. [The Veil Jumpers] investigate the ancient ruins of Arlathan. Everything about her character as a mage leans into that, but she also challenges the kind of archetypal idea of a mage."

The Veil Jumpers journey through Arlathan where the ancient empire used to exist and left a lot of artifacts and magical technology behind when it disappeared

Bellara represents this yearning to find the truth of who the elves were after they lost their magic, immortality and a lot of their history

"they still left a lot of their artifacts and a lot of their, for lack of a better term, magical technology behind"

John Epler quote: "A lot of what they know of their past is based on myth, it's based on rumor. Bellara is a knowledge seeker. She wants to find out what's true, what's not; she wants to find the pieces of who the elves used to be and really understand what their story was, where they came from, as well as figure out where they're going next, and find a future for the elves. And within the context of The Veilguard, she joins the team, first of all, to help stop the gods because Bellara feels at least partially responsible since they are elven gods, but also to maybe find a little bit more of who they used to be. Because again, you're dealing with these elves that were around millennia ago that have now reemerged into the world, and who better to teach her who the elves used to be than them."

Magic's place in the world in DA:TV differs from prior games. In Tevinter and other spaces in DA:TV it's much more present by definition and the lore (though the devs wanted to make sure magic didn't violate previously-established lore rules)

Solas is a "determined and tragic character" who "tends to wallow". [nb, these are quotes from the article]. in contrast, Bellara has seen a lot of tragedy in her backstory (we will see this as we get into her arc), but instead of wallowing, she has forced herself to push past it. "She looks at her regrets, and she tells herself, 'I don't want to feel regret'

John: "Whereas again, Solas tends to wallow in his to a large degree. And it allows us to create a very big differentiation. Part of it is also because Solas is an ancient elf, whereas Bellara is a Dalish elf, but she just sees a problem and wants to solve it. She feels a tremendous amount of responsibility to her people [...] to the Dalish, and to the Veil Jumpers, and that drives her forward. That said, she does have her moments where she has doubt, she has moments where she has a more grim outlook, and there are moments where you realize that some of her sunny, optimistic outlook is kind of a mask that she puts on to hide the fact that she's hurting, she's in pain. But in general, she doesn't see any benefit to wallowing in those regrets."

[source]