#and my old job was responsible for a lot of when I went through

[shyspider]

I appreciate it, but I like reading your writing. I just need to work up to read *spicy* chapters. Which, because I haven't read in a while and haven't been 100% myself, I can't currently do, unfortunately 😔

Plus, my memory is shot enough that I am gonna end up rereading both books so I can tell clearly what's going on, lol. I do love authors like you who make the *spice* optional, and I do tend to take that option quite often, but I will readily admit its typically with far more /human/ characters that I do so with. History and all that, lol.

It's just been a really funky time, and a more physically taxing job is making my poor immune system laugh maniacally. With how companies tend to ask that you essentially work yourself to death, I have been making poor decisions. As in, continuing to go in to work, despite the fact that I am immediately going to bed sick every time I get home. I got sent home today because being too dizzy to stand properly still, whilst simultaneously having absolutely zero thermoregulation, is not good when working in a warehouse. Sorry for dumping in your inbox, same as when I am too excited, I am currently lacking social awareness of if this is appropriate or not.

Having said that, sorry again for just dumping all this on you, I am so far out kf it that I really don't even know if I am properly awake or not.

~Smooch

Social awareness be damned. I may overstep here, but I'll regret it more if I don't share with you something personal about me. What you said is a little triggering, because I nearly worked myself to death for a company that didn't care about my health. It sounds like you're burning out, if not already burnt out. Not trying to diagnose anything, but what you're saying sounds very familiar.

I'm going to ramble under the cut. Let's dump on each other, together.

It sounds crazy, but most of what you've said sounds like what I went through with my last job. It burned me out to where I was a completely different person. I lost interest in the things that made me happy and I stopped caring about my health. I had chronic ocular migraines, constant stomach pains, and I hated myself. I was not in a good mental space. I was burnt out.

No one gave me the help I needed or told me what to look for, or what was available to me. No one told me about FMLA, or medical leave, or mental health leave. No one told me about health programs to help my autoimmune disorder, or what a toxic work environment was. I didn't know buzzwords like 'harassment' and a 'hostile workplace'. I'd call off, but no one would cover my work, give me shit for being sick all the time, and I never wanted to kick up a fuss because I didn't think I could. I'd sob in my car, both heading to work and leaving. There were so many things I should've done. I had to quit, because it was either my life or my job. I was lucky I had some people to financially help me in between.

This may not be the same for you, but what does sound similar is that you're not thinking of yourself, first. I've made poor decisions and all those choices led up to letting myself get bad. It took 4 years to undo all that. I can go months without a migraine, now. I'm finally in remission. I see a therapist. I actually love myself and feel better and doing the things that interest me. (There are always problems here and there, but nothing like before)

Try your best to make the changes to protect future you. I don't know what kind of company you work for, but learn your options. Protect yourself. If you're able to see a doctor for a chronic condition, get FMLA to protect yourself and your paycheck. See if you are able to take a mental health leave, if you need it. See what EPA programs are available to you. Human Resources (which most companies have) is required to give you this information, but you have to request it. You said you work in a warehouse? Know your rights. My bet, OSHA will have your back.

Take care of yourself now so you don't have to spend years putting yourself back together, later. There is literally only one of you in this world, and you are precious and unique and loved. You don't need to respond. Get some rest. Listen to some music. Think about things.

[may-stuff]

The Only Thing He Needs | F.C

Franco Colapinto x AFAB!Reader

Warnings: Cunnilingus, p in v, creampie (in that order) typos and grammatical mistakes because english is not my first language. reader has breasts and a vagina but nothing else about her looks is specified

Word count: 3k

Author's note: Behold... my first child. It's ugly af but I love it because it's mine.

This is shorter than expected and I'm sure it'll disappoint many of you, so I apologise in advance. I'm just a girl trying to make the fandom happy.

Interactions with this thing would be appreciated, even if you want to let me know how much it sucked 💖

The sun is setting when he finally enters his room after what it felt like an eternity. The weather outside is so hot that when the cool air touches his skin he almost lets out a groan.

Franco would be lying if he said that it wasn't an extraordinary day, because it was. Despite the tremendous heat inside the car and the physical pain he went through, he did an amazing job and couldn't be prouder of himself and everything he has achieved at this point in his career. Sensing that there's a lot more to come, he can only feel excitement for the near future.

Still, even after everything that has happened and all the love and support he's received in the last couple of hours, there's something missing. Someone.

You.

You were there at the paddock during the race, but trying to avoid the media and all the fuss that would be caused if they knew of your relationship, you left the moment you saw the cameras. He hasn't seen you since then, almost three hours ago, and he wouldn't be exaggerating if he said that he is dying because of it.

You're everything he needs.

When his eyes finally find you, you're coming out of the bathroom, freshly showered and dressed in nothing more than one of his old shirts. Your hair is loose and messy, your feet bare and there's that glint in your pretty eyes when you realise that now he's here in front of you, breathing the same air. Your beauty makes his heart swell with love.

His arms are wrapped around your waist the moment you literally jump into his embrace. Soon you're showering him in kisses all over his face and neck. He giggles in response, the grip on your waist increasing slightly.

"Missed you." You mutter, nose nudging the left side of his jaw. "I'm sorry I couldn't stay."

"It's okay." Franco answers. "You're here now. That's all I need."

And he means every word.

You smile in response. A smile that reaches your eyes and makes them shine with such intensity that makes him feel dizzy with love.

"You should take a shower." You don't miss the way he pouts when you pull away from him to have a better look at his face. "You stink, love."

"You love me anyway. Stinky and all."

Your laughter echoes in the entirety of the room as you walk towards the closet, where you look for a clean shirt and shorts and then toss them towards him. Rolling his eyes, he walks to the bathroom, chuckling when your voice, from the other side of the door, reminds him that you love him always.

Almost half an hour later he comes out of the bathroom, all wet hair and bare chest. He finds you in front of the bureau where you’ve put some of your clothes and he knows he should be thinking about something else right now, maybe discuss the race and his future in F1, or maybe he should tell you how much he would love to let the world know that he is yours, but all he can do is stare at you. 

Leaning on the doorframe, he observes your every move. You’re not doing something extraordinary, only going through your things, probably looking for the earrings you’ve lost again, but he isn’t afraid of admitting that every single thing you do, no matter how big or small, make you look like the most fascinating creature in existence.

Soon, as every other day, he finds himself walking in your direction. Hands itching with the need of touching you.

There's something about you. Something that lures him in like nothing else has done before. Maybe it's your hair and the intoxicating smell that touches his nostrils when he buries his face in it. Or maybe it's your skin and its taste, so sweet that it forbids him from thinking straight. It sure is the sound you make when you feel his hands on your waist.

His long fingers roam the skin of your waist and back as his lips kiss a wet trail down the right side of your neck. A soft breath leaves his mouth when his lips reach the spot right over your pulse, wasting no time in sinking his teeth in your flesh, softly but hard enough to make you hiss in pain.

"Fran." You warn him. Dainty hands touch his in an attempt to push him away, but his grip on your waist becomes stronger with the fear of losing the contact  with your skin.

"No, no. Por favor." He whimpers. He whimpers impossibly close to your ear, the agonic plea making you squirm in his arms almost against your own will.

"You bit me, Franco."

"Perdón." He cries. "Perdón. I won't do it again."

The mere thought of you leaving hurts him so bad that it is almost physical. It's been such a tough day and now all he wants is to hold you and never let go. You're the only one who can make him feel safe, at home.

There's nothing in this world that Franco loves more than having you in his arms, being able to kiss every part of you and rejoice in the way your body and soul respond to him. Always you, no one else.

“Tanta belleza..." he whispers. Hands now travel up your abdomen and then your sternum, until they finally rest on your round breasts. When he starts kneading your flesh at the same time he keeps kissing and licking the skin of your neck, you moan softly. In response he chuckles, amused by the way in which his words and touch make you forget everything.

You want to be mad at him, you want to scold him and forbid him from touching you if he bites you again, but your mind is dizzy by his kiss and the feeling of his body pressed against yours. His touch breaks your resolve and he knows it, always taking advantage of that.

Today is no exception, because soon he starts moving against you. Hips rocking forward, his growing erection brushes against the roundness of your ass, making both of you moan out loud.

"Can you feel me, baby?" He asks and he sounds desperate. You want to answer but fail miserably because of the intensity of it all. "Can you feel how hard you make me? This is all because of you, for you." 

You moan his name when he moves his hips once more, your own body meeting him halfway, desperately  looking for the contact that makes your skin shiver. 

“You have no idea,” he mutters against your skin, words interrupted by the kisses he's still giving you. “The things I want to do to you…” 

Your answer comes in a shaky breath.

“Then what are you waiting for?”

The next few minutes happen so fast that you barely have a moment to process it all. In no time you're laying on the soft bed, your shirt is long gone and the cool air kisses your skin. The only piece of clothing remaining on your body is your underwear. 

Franco is at your feet, looking at you with eyes full of need and adoration. He takes a long time taking you in, pretty eyes looking at every piece of you, and when your own hands travel from your abdomen to your breasts, repeating his actions from before, a soft whine escapes his mouth. He observes as you touch yourself for him, right hand going down until you start playing with the hem of your knickers. He licks his lips, sight fixed on the wet spot in them. 

Just before you can sneak your hand under the soft fabric, his long fingers wrap around your wrist and pull you aside. He takes no time in replacing you, taking both sides of your panties and pulling them down. In no time they're being thrown to some place on the ground, long forgotten for the rest of the night. 

Hands on both of your knees, he spreads your legs open and lets out a shaky breath the moment your dripping cunt is finally on display. He has seen you like this countless times before but he always reacts the same way: enamoured with every part of your body. He wants to taste everything he can, he wants to drink from you until you beg him to stop.

And that's what he does.

Flat tongue travels from your hole to right under your clit, repeatedly, during a few tortuous seconds that feel like hours. Spreading you open with his thumbs, Franco keeps licking you there until you're the one whining and begging him to give you more. 

In response, you feel him smirk between your legs.

“You want more, huh?”

“Please. Fran, por favor.”

He chuckles.

“Qué putita que sos.”

You want to answer but nothing comes out of your mouth. Nothing but a high pitched moan when his lips finally lick your clit. Before you can even process what's happening, he's suckling on your bundle of nerves like it is the most delicious thing he's ever had the pleasure to taste. When your hands take a handful of his hair and tug at it softly, deep moans sound on the back of his throat and the vibrations rumble through your entire body, making your back arch in pleasure.

There's nothing better than this. His mouth on you, kissing, licking, making sounds that would make even the boldest of men blush. He eats you out like his life depends on it, ignoring the need for air in his lungs because all the oxygen he needs is in you, in your skin, in the very taste of you. He drinks from your juices as if they are the sweetest ambrosia, giving him life, giving him everything he needs. Nothing else, no one else but you.

You keep moaning his name louder and louder, not caring if others are listening. You'll deal with that later, but right now there's nothing in this world that could make you stop from letting him know how you feel.

“So good…” you moan. “You make me feel so good, baby.” 

He moans as well. Hips rocking against the bed cover, unconsciously looking for release. Your words are music to him, because all he wants is to make you feel so good that you forget everything else. Everything else but him. 

“You're soaked.” He groans after gathering your arousal on his tongue and then swallowing it. “Is this because of me, amor?”

Once again, you want to answer but his actions interrupt you. This time, your words get stuck in your throat by two of his long fingers entering you. Carefully, making sure he doesn't hurt you, but the only thing you can feel is the immense pleasure spreading all over your body, legs shaking slightly with the feeling of his fingers starting to move inside of you at the same time his lips wrap around your clit again, suckling with need. 

You moan his name like a mantra, both hands gripping his hair as your hips start to move almost involuntarily, rubbing yourself on his face as you look for your own release. He doesn't protest for a second, in fact, he grabs your ass in his hands to move you closer to his face and now it's impossible to part away from him, tongue and lips torturing your puffy clit as you cry out in pleasure. 

And then he does something that he's never done before.

His teeth grazes your sensitive bundle of nerves ever so slightly and that sends you to the edge. You have no time to react because soon entire galaxies are exploding behind your closed eyes. Some sort of electricity makes your body tremble as you cum on his tongue, and for a moment you feel like you are touching the sky with your hands. Seconds that feel like an eternity, you want to feel like this for the rest of your life. 

When you come back from some wonderful place you've never been before, you find yourself still laying on the bed, but this time Franco's on top of you. He's waiting for you to recover, only caressing your sides with his hands and leaving short kisses on your collarbone and chest. 

He knows you're back when you intertwine your fingers in his soft hair. 

“You okay?” He asks. You nod in response, a content smile on your lips. “Need you to use your words, baby.”

“I'm fine.” You answer. “Better than ever.”

He purrs like a kitten when your hands travel down his back, caressing his soft skin for a few moments. Then you remember that you’re the only one that has had an orgasm tonight, the realisationg making you feel incredibly guilty. Part of loving him is taking care of him as much as he does with you. That’s why it feels wrong, leaving him like this.

Your gaze finds his. He’s hovering over you now, one arm supporting his own weight as the other is in your face, fingertips brushing against your cheek and jaw. His big, pretty eyes are looking at you as if he’s trying to decipher you, and soon he does. It scares you sometimes, how easily he can read your thoughts by the expression on your face. 

“You don’t have to, you know?” He mutters. 

You kiss him softly, tasting yourself on his lips. 

“Of course I have to,” you object. “Because I love you.”

Franco smiles as you sit and motion to him to now lay on his back. He complies, never denying anything to you. 

Soon you’re kissing him again but this time you’re the one on top, legs on both sides of his hips. The sounds leaving his mouth are intoxicating and, trying to coax more out of him, you take your hands to the waistband of his boxer and pull them down, just as he did with your underwear before. 

You wish you could take your time with him but you know that he won’t last long. His cock is impossibly hard, precum dripping out of the angry red tip. That’s why his reaction when you touch him doesn't surprise you; he’s at the edge and it won’t take much time for him to come undone in your arms.

“Amor…” he moans as you stroke him, spreading his juices all over his beautiful dick. You know what he wants. He’s trying to tell you that he can’t wait any longer, that all he wants is to feel you. 

So you comply. 

Both of you moan the exact moment he enters you, hard cock stretching you out in such a delicious way that has you closing your eyes tight. You’re so wet that he slides in easily, filling you completely. 

Your name leaves his lips in a plea that makes you move in no time. The friction coaxing more sounds out of the both of you. He whispers sentences that are never finished, words both in English and Spanish that have no coherence. He’s so lost in the bliss of having your sweet cunt wrapped around him that can barely speak properly. 

“You look so beautiful like this…” he manages to say, the phrase interrupted many times by his own moans. “Riding my cock… so, so good…”

In response you move faster. You can feel him inside of you, twitching with the need of release that will soon arrive. His grip on your waist tightens as you ride him faster and faster each time, breasts bouncing with your moves and that, too, sends him over the edge. 

“Fran…” you moan, your eyes pleading. “Come on, baby. Fill me up.”

Those words and your walls hugging his dick with such intensity are enough to make him cum. He reaches his orgasm in seconds, warm seed spilling deep inside of you and triggering your own climax, which is shorter than the previous one but even more intense.

You keep moving for a few seconds, milking his cock a little more. When you start feeling him going soft you decide to take him out of you, hearing him moan one more time as he watches his own semen dripping out of you. 

The way he looks after he has an orgasm is one of the most gorgeous things you’ve seen in your life. Hair dishevelled, skin glistening with sweat and pretty eyes full of satisfaction, he’s drunk in love and adoration for you and you love it. You love seeing him like this, knowing that you’re the reason behind it all. 

“You’re perfect.” you whisper to him, your lips hovering over his. “The prettiest boy I’ve ever seen.”

Franco smiles as his right hand comes up to caress your hair lovingly. Now, after the intensity of the love-making, both of you long for your lover’s touch in a more innocent way, in a way that can soothe all the aches. 

You stay like that, resting in each other’s arms, for what it feels like hours. After a while and starting to feel a little sleepy, you sit up on the bed. He looks in your direction, surprised and almost offended with you for pulling away from him. 

“What are you doing?” he asks. 

“We need to take a shower, come on.” 

You try to get off the bed, but his strong arm is around you in an instant, taking you back to his side. You giggle as he holds you tight and starts biting at your neck.

“There’s no way I’m letting you go,” he says. “You’re staying here with me forever.”

“But we can’t!” You laugh again. “We need to have a shower and eat something.”

“No, no.” This time his tone is more serious. His hands are both on your cheeks, softly making you look at him in the eyes. “You are the only thing I need.” 

For a second you want to scold him for not taking his own well being seriously, but then a smile appears on your face, leaving the previous frown behind, because now you realise that you feel the same way.

.

taglist: @bicchaan @amz824 @joyfulbookreviewmarvelspy

[shiplessoceans]

Moments in House MD that made me absolutely feral as an O.G fan that watched it as it aired back in the naughties, shipping House/Wilson hardcore and not realising I was queer:

1. Wilson loudly reciting a poem to House as he enters the hospital lobby which contains the line: "His manly chest, his stubbled jaw, everything about him leaves me raw.'

2. The look on Wilson's face when a random clinic patient gives House advice about his date with Cameron.

"Do her....or you're gay."

*cue Wilson looking to the side like...wait a minute...*

3. House: "They were not Prada! you wouldn't know Prada if it stepped on your scrotum."

4. Wilson: "House I believe you're a romantic, you didn't just believe him, you believed IN him! Wanna come over tonight, watch old movies and cry?"

5. House (yelling across a crowded lobby to Wilson): "How long can you go without sex?"

6. The look on Wilson's face when he gets a masseuse for House (!) and she massages his hand, causing him to begin moaning orgasmically.

7. Stacey: "What are you hiding?"

House: "I'm gay... Oh that's not what you meant! But it does explain a lot thought. No girlfriend, always with Wilson..."

8. House watching Wilson sleep on the couch in his apartment, then quietly erasing a voicemail from a real estate agent saying Wilson's apartment application for a new place went through.

9. Wilson, explaining his infidelity during his previous marriage, to Cameron when she's feeling awful because she considered cheating on her husband while he was dying:

"Well my wife wasn't dying, she wasn't even sick. But I met someone who made me feel...funny. Good. And I... didn't wanna let that feeling go."

The lack of pronoun haunts me to this day.

10. Gay male patient harassing House and questioning why he won't treat him:

Patient: "Because you're a closet case?" (Eyeing House and Wilson who have just emerged from House's apartment)

Wilson: "Uh...we're not...together..."

House: "He is so self-loathing."

11. House nearly kills himself to attempt to prove there is no afterlife, Wilson waits over his bedside and then calls him an idiot and orders him extra pain medication. House's response is:

"I love you."

12. House: "Big romantic weekend in the Poconos could change everything."

13. Wilson refusing to participate in a board vote to oust House from the hospital and consequently losing him job for House. Wilson's furious with him over being put in that position but forgives House easily.

14. Wilson (speaking to House about dating a woman eerily similar to House): "Why not? Why not date you? It's perfect! We've known each other for years, we put up with all kinds of crap from each other and we keep coming back. We're a couple!"

House: "Are we still speaking metaphorically?"

15. (Less than a minute later when House keeps trying to convince Wilson he and Amber are a bad idea).

Wilson: "Wait a minute, every time I agree with you, you come up with a new argument. What are you trying to avoid?"

House: *Stares at Wilson with the most meaningful eye contact to ever eye contact*

Wilson: "Oh! Well if you'd looked at me with those flashing eyes before I was involved (clicks tongue)."

16. To Wilson's new girlfriend in a threatening, 'stay away from my man' voice:

House: "Give him back his sweatshirt... Pit stains don't become you."

17. House: "This isn't just about the sex! You like her personality! You like that she's conniving. You like that she can humiliate someone if it serves..."

*tense pause*

House: "Oh my god. You're sleeping with me."

*flees restaurant*

18. House: "I have really gotta get you laid. If I have to plough that furrow myself, so be it."

19. Wilson: "I have a headache."

House: "We don't have to have sex, sometimes it's nice just to cuddle and talk."

20. (To a bellboy at a hotel House is staying at, while gesturing to Wilson)

House: "After he and I have sex, I'm gonna slit his throat and disembowel him in the bathtub."

21. House going to interview all of Wilson's ex wives to figure out how best to break him and Cuddy up when they aren't even dating. The look on his face when Bonnie explains how good at sex Wilson is? Priceless.

22. House: "Probably my deep and very unconscious desire to get Wilson into my bedroom."

22. House: "If you're coming back because you're attracted to the shine of my neediness. I'd be fine with that."

23. House borrowing money off Wilson in increasing amounts to test the limits of their friendship. He later admits to Wilson that: "Maybe I don't want to push this til it breaks".

24. House being convinced the male CIA agent who approaches him in season 4 is a stripper and sitting on a bench saying:

House: "You wanna close that door?"

CIA agent: "Why?"

House: "Well I assume you're gonna drop trou at some point during the dance, I don't see why I should share."

25. Wilson: "I want a threesome"

House: "Shouldn't we try a twosome first?"

26. All of that episode where House is talking to Dr Nolan and says Wilson is not a consolation prize. Legit became convinced halfway through that this was going to be House realising he's in love with Wilson and wants to keep living with him.

27. House hiring a P.I. to stalk Wilson after they've had a falling out to see if he misses him. The P.I. clocks this immediately and treats the case like that of a scorned lover needing to know if the other party is pining and if theres anything that can make him come back.

28. Wilson proposing to House in a restaurant to throw a wrench in his plans to date their neighbour.

29. Wilson got mad that Cuddy hurt House. So he bought her dream apartment out from under her in sheer spite and moved into said apartment with House.

30. Wilson being indecisive and unable to buy furniture for himself because of a flimsy sense of self and an inability to figure out who he is and what he wants. House teases him about this and challenges him to buy one peice of furniture that says something about who Wilson is.

The peice of furniture Wilson buys?

A piano organ for House.

31. House: "You were thinking about Wilson while were were having sex? That's cool so was I."

32. Wilson: "If things go wrong, I just want you to know..."

House: "If you're gonna say that you've always been secretly gay for me? Everyone just kind of assumed it."

33. Cameron: "Where do you put the cane?"

House: (referring to Wilson) "If he buys me dinner he can find out."

34. That gay as fuck ending, fuck I'll never be over it.

[leebrontide]

I ever tell you all about my role model?

So when I was a teen we had these two black labs. Good dogs. I miss them.

And I was in highschool when we took them both to the vet for vaccinations or something. And the vet had this small tuxedo cat that lived at the office, just hanging around in the waiting area.

And both my dogs see this cat and all the fur on their backs puffs up and they start growling and showing their teeth and closing in on this little cat as my mom and I try to drag them back, panicking that our pets are gonna try to murder the vet's pet.

And the cat barely pauses their grooming to look at them calmly and bap both of them on the nose in quick succession. No claws out. Not even a swipe. Distinctly a bop or maybe even a bap. Then they went back to grooming themself.

The dogs stopped growling. They look at each other, and then at us. I have never seen a more confused dog in my life.

They quietly went back and sat down where we'd been sitting, and didn't so much as look at that cat ever again.

And like...these are 80lb dogs.

And I decided I wanted to be like that cat. Not violent, but utterly poised in the face of danger. This cat refused to acknowledge that the dogs were bigger or any particular danger. And the dogs were so baffled by this that they assumed they were not any particular danger to the cat. And so, they weren't.

And when I've told this story online, there's usually some women who get really mad at me. They say I'm endangering women, or I'm victim blaming.

I don't know what to say. I'm 40 years old and 5ft 4. I have been in multiple jobs that frequently involved standing firm in the face of large angry men with histories of assault being very very mad at me while I am isolated from backup. And only one has ever dared to take a swing at me and he was so drunk I didn't even need to lean back he missed so badly.

Is it a perfect protection from danger? No, that's dumb. Nothing is. It would be nice if there was something we could do to always stay safe but even fairy tales know better than that.

And it sure as hell seems to protect me better than trying to placate, or than panicking, or escalating or isolating.

And multiple men over a foot bigger than me have voiced that there is something innately scary and intimidating about me. Actually especially taller men seem intimidated by me. I think because I refuse to have any emotional response to their size, and it stands out as weird to them, subconsciously (many of them are perfectly lovely people who I'm not trying to intimidate at all, but who are naturally used to the way most people react to them.)

It doesn't mean I'm never scared. But being rooted in the image of that cat has really has got me through a lot of situations.

It also has for sure made some bosses hate me, when they want groveling and I don't, but I'm doing just fine anyways.

[writingoddess1125]

What do you do Dad?

Simon Riley + OOC Children

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Your children ask about their fathers job

Fluffy

It was days like this Simon lived for- Were he could just relax and let his guard down just a little.. enjoy time with his family and get a taste of domestic bliss- Seated on the sofa with his 5 year old triplets piled on him like he was a bed and they were all watching Bluey, You'd had him watch the litter while you picked up the dog Riley from the groomers.

Hazel was nestled on his left just under his arm and curled into his side- Rose sitting on his lap with her head on his chest and Johnny sitting in his right arm with his head tucked onto Simon's neck.

It was defiently a bit cramped for Simon's taste but he wasn't one to complain- Especially since it ment time with his kids watching cartoons all day and wiping boogers.

"Daddy?" Hazel voice cut through the man's thoughts, Simon humming in response as he waited for his daughters question.

"What do you do?" She asked, Simon confused by the question as he looked at Hazel who was staring up at him with big eyes.

"What do you mean Dove?"

"At your job when you go away? What do you do?" Hazel ask, Simon feeling a Sinking feeling in his chest at her question as he stared at the matching eyes before him. He had been dreading this day, he truly had and what made it worse was you not being there to help him- His mind flashing the horrors he had done, the smell of gunpowder seemingly filling his nose from nowhere and he felt like his mask was brushing against his face. The feeling of Ghost wrapping his fingers around his heart again and getting to close to comfort to his children- bringing fear into mouth.

Why did you have to go to pick up the Dog from the groomers today..

"I do a lot of things Bug.." He started, watching how she scrunched her face in mild irritation clearly able to tell he was dodging the real answer. The dodging made Rose look up and seem curious as well, Johnny shifting as well at feeling his father become uncomfortable. They were all too smart to let it go as well, He blamed you for that..-

Sitting up some more he gently pulled them from his sides and set them all on his lap facing him in order to listen equally.

"I work for the military, I'm a soldier- So my job is to help other people get to safety from bad guys" He worded the best he could, Hazel staring at her father as he said this and chewing over his words.

"How?" Johnny signed, For the first time that day wanting to 'speak' it seemed. Simon almost wishing that his Lad didn't ask.

"By fighting"

"It is, But remember how I've always said you should never hit first but if they hit you, it's okay? It's like that- They hit first and so they send me to hit back" He explained as carefully as possible.

Rose face twisted up at this, Surprised by his words. His little princess, a gentle soul who was sad by the idea of her father fighting.

"But fighting is bad- is that why you have booboos?" She said softly, Simon wincing at her words. He figured he'd hidden some of the scarier scars better so they didn't see them, Seemed not.

Simon waited for- something? His anxiety up and prepared for something negative...

But instead Hazel moved first, going right back to her spot happily.

"So You're like the hero people on TV right?" She seemed to reason, Simon nodding calmly as she settled back in. Seemingly satisfied with the answer and line of thinking- Johnny next moving back to his spot giving a thumbs up also in agreement. Rose being the last, Looking to her siblings and seeing them seemingly fine with what they had learned- So she returned as well and the trio went back to watching Cartoons.

Simon sat there, a bit shocked in truth. He'd expected more? But he was happy there wasnt... he knew they were way to young to truly understand what he did, but he preferred it that way.

A wash of peace falling over him once more and he settle back in for the cartoons. Ghost once again falling away and hidden from his precious family-

"I love you lot so much..."

[starlightsuffered]

can you please make kyle fics 😇 i loved your old ones

STRONG CONTENT WARNING

School Parking Lot

Info - Fauxcest, daddy kink, roleplay, ageplay, kinky scene, unprotected sex, some breeding kink, car sex, reassurance, getting off on the taboo, desire for cumflation/blow jobs, baby talk, dom male, school girl outfit, biting nipple, finger sucking, size kink,

I pulled up in my car. I felt my cock straining in my dark trousers. I took it out and let out a desperate sigh. I let it throb against the fabric of my shirt. I gave into temptation and rubbed it a bit.

“Ohhhh baby girl,” I let out a sigh of relief. I couldn’t wait to play out this fantasy. I’d begged y/n for weeks and she said she didn’t want a lot of people around. She agreed that her first week of work we could engage in this roleplay. I had felt a bit guilty for pushing it but telling from her sopping pussy when she let me kiss it goodbye this morning, she was excited too.

Finally, finally, she sent me the go ahead. Alleviation pumped through me. I was finally gonna get my perverted wish come true.

I marched into her work place, though right now we were pretending it was where she went to school. I straighten my tie and rolled up my white sleeves. I yanked open the door I knew went to her classroom.

She wore exactly what I’d asked. I swore under my breath as I took her in. My eyes drank in the delicious sight. Her breasts were nearly bursting out of the button down. The shirt was sheer enough I could see the mauve coloured bra she wore. She flaunted a short black skirt and long black stockings. The little school girl outfit had my cock drooling.

I stalked up to her. She gave me innocent doe eyes.

“Why am I here?” I demanded.

“Um, I don’t know, the office told me my daddy was here to pick me up,” she said in that tantalisingly submissive voice.

“Come with me,” I growled.

“Yes Kyle,” I agreed.

I pulled her to the car, I was so excited I could skip. I slammed her against the black body of the vehicle. I pressed my body against her so she could feel my hard length. I snatched my phone from my pocket and brought up the little sex tape she’d made me.

“Daddy had to leave his business trip, do you know why?” I demanded.

“I haven’t got a clue,” she said with faux innocence.

“Daddy found this among my work files. You think I was able to work after I saw this? You think I didn’t catch the next flight here and come to comfort you?”

“I’m sorry daddy,” she pouted. “It’s hard when you’re so sexy. I thought you’d like them. You just make my princess parts feel really wet and weird and I don’t know what’s happening.”

Fuck she was good at this. With how long it had taken her to agree I thought she might not know how to act. However, all this was perfect and I was getting dizzy from all the blood running to my cock.

“Get in the fucking car,” I snarled. She climbed in, wiggling her ass a bit too much for her own good I climbed in the back with her.

“You think you’re smart for doing this?” I snapped. She gave me a pitiful look.

“I’m sorry daddy, I thought you’d like it. I thought you’d wanna see your little princess when you were away,” she whined.

“Fuck,” I grunted.

“Daddy Kyle,” she purred. “Am I too old to sit on your lap?”

“Ohhhh, fuck no, get over here,” I said in a husky voice. She scrambled into my lap.

“Daddy,” she giggled coquettishly. “There’s something hard under me.”

“You want to know what that is don’t you?” I said in a deep voice.

“Uh huh,” she nodded.

She moved back so I could undo my belt. She licked her lips as she heard the jingle. I pushed down my pants and boxers. I pulled out my cock to show her.

“Oh,” she gasped. Her tits bouncing as she overdid her response.

“Yeah that hard thing was daddies big, thick, hairy, adult cock,” I cooed as I cupped her jaw. I pressed my thumb to her lips and she automatically sucked my thumb inside her mouth. She was whimpering and suckling on my thumb. My dick was rock fucking hard.

“Oh daddy, I want it,” she whimpered. I throbbed hard.

“Yeah? You want my big cock in your snug cunny?” I asked her.

“Yes, but d-daddy,” she looked cautious. She was pressing her huge tits against me. She looked so innocent and sweet. She’d be so delicious to ruin.

“I-I don’t have hair down there daddy. I know that might be what you want. I’m inexperienced,” she sniffled. Fuck this shit was hitting hard as fuck. I was only barely keeping myself together. I wanted to fucking pounce on her and just go wild.

“Want to know a secret baby girl?” I whispered, my fingers digging into her curves.

“What?” She asked with a girlish curiosity.

“Dad likes snug little hairless puffy pussies like yours. I think they're so much better than anything else,” I murmured in her ear.

“Ohhhh,” she moaned. Soon she was lifting up her skirt, and she wasn’t wearing fucking panties. I gulped.

She straddled me before sliding down slowly on my heavy dick. We both let out near wails of bliss. I grabbed her hips.

“Am I so small daddy can work me up and down on your grown up dick?” She asked with a giggle. I was ramming up into her while bouncing her. I was wild. I wanted to ruin and destroy her completely. I was so turned on it should be illegal.

“Oh, oh, oh!” She let loose such sweet, high pitched whines.

“Daddy has wanted to take your juicy cunny for so long,” I growled.

“Yes!” She cried. I wanted to hit her cervix.

“Daddy, I’m so naughty,” she said earnestly, gripping my shoulders to aid her movements.

“Why? tell me princess,” I ordered as I undid her buttons. Her nipples were hardened buds. I bit the left one and she groaned.

“I love daddy cum so much! I wanna suck you off every morning. I want my little school girl uniform to bulge a bit more because my tummy is so full. I wanna be cum drunk and unable to tell any of my friends at school who made me that way.”

“Oh yes,” I snapped with delicious pleasure. Her cunt was so fucking tight and perfect. I was bouncing her weak little body. Her tits moved up and down heavily.

“You want your baby girl to blow you all the time?” She asked in a whimpering tone.

“Yes, fuck yes. Oh that tiny tummy bulging with daddy cum. Fuuuuck me, I need to knock you up. It’s so perverted and taboo and wrong! I was to fill you over and over.”

“Pleassssse!” she nearly howled. “PLEASE!”

“DADDDY! Your cock!” She squealed. She was going so far down. My balls slapped her ass. I was deep and snug inside her. She was clenching and moaning.

“You gonna go to school with my cum running down your thighs baby?” I cooed. “Be a good girl and keep it inside you as long as you can?”

“Yes, fuck yes, anything you want or say,” she panted.

“I know baby girl,” I soothed. “You’re so good for me. Taking that sexy little video. You knew daddy would need to wank on his business trip didn’t you?”

“I knew, I knew, I knew,” she heaved.

“That’s my good girl,” I told her. I was on the brink of exploding.

“Daddy, touch my clitty please,” she begged. I stopped her movement. I pulled out and pressed my tip to her bundle of nerves. She threw her head back and rubbed her nipples.

“Does daddy’s tip feel good on your swollen clitty?” I asked.

“Mmmhmm,” she whined.

“Now, you’re going to let daddy bust a nut inside you with no protection aren’t you?” I asked as I carefully guided my cock back inside her.

“Yes sir,” she nodded.

“That’s it, bounce, oh fuck,” I grunted. I was moving her almost violently. She was hiccuping and moaning and sucking my thumb. She looked completely out of it.

“Dad, gon come,” she mumbled. Her snug, fluttering walls were all I needed to paint her insides white. I gasped as I shoved myself balls deep and emptied myself. I was groaning over and over.

“Yeah, yes,” I moaned as my nut worked out of me. “Just had to take you in daddy’s car even if people might see because you gave me those naughty videos.”

“Mmmmmmm,” she let out a submissive keen.

It was the best orgasm I’d ever had. Waves of perverted pleasure washed over me. I filled up her cunt with my special daddy cream as he needily whined. I fucked back up into her to hear the wet sound of the creampie some more. I was so satisfied. I hoped that was my largest load ever, she deserved it.

“Thank you,” I breathed. I held her close. She was still on my dick. She had wrapped her arms and legs around me. The scene was finished and she was feeling cuddly, needing reassurance after all the nasty things we’d said to one another.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” I repeated. I smiled as I rocked her and rubbed her back. She was so perfect to let me act out this desire.

“We’re not bad are we?” She asked in a small Voice.

“No, it didn’t hurt anyone, and we’re two consenting adults, plus, it’s just a kink.”

“Thank you Kyle, I love you,” she promised me. I kissed her temple.

“I love you too.”

@pmak2002 @softhecreator @plutoispurplw @sp1deyyf4ngz @seungcheol17daddy @jesschalamet @vvsdreaming

[agavekitten]

»»————-　♡　————-«« ♡ »»————-　♡ ————-««

Summary - You're Abby's Favorite Daycare Attendent!

Pairing - Mike Schmidt x Fem! Reader

Warnings- All fluff!

»»————-　♡　————-«« ♡ »»————-　♡ ————-««

Every day felt the same, gray, uncomfortable and cold. Nothing seemed to bring the warmth like it used to. Even getting out of bed feels like a chore. I rubbed my eyes, staring into the darkness of the room around me. The soft blankets coddled around me were the only things keeping me from feeling the light cold air around me. I could only let out a sigh as I thought about the day ahead of me. The same old same old, wake up, work, clean then sleep. Over and over again until I could feel nothing. 

Today was one of those days, where I felt nothing. I didn't even notice that I got out of bed and had already gotten dressed. It was like a blur, like everything around me is simply a picture and none of it is real. It’s almost nice to think of it like that - a picture. It makes the things around you more interesting, a painting can be anything you interpret it as. It can be beautiful with every stroke of the paint having meaning and purpose. Or, there is the other interpretation, the one that makes the world look sad and unappealing with bland colors and concepts. But, I didn't like to think of it that way. If I'm going to live in my own fantasy world and believe that the world is a painting, it's going to be a happy colorful one damn it. 

I stepped out of the room and made my way to the bathroom, god I looked terrible. My hair looked like a bird just laid eggs in it and my face was swollen from the night's rest. I’ve always been hypocritical about how I looked, but today it was just a joke. Did my look matter that much? Not really in the grand scheme of things but to me it was important. I work at a daycare and the thought of a parent thinking I looked like a bum on the street and questioning if I had good hygiene made me want to throw up. I spent the first hour and a half trying to make myself look better. I finally felt like a person again as I put my hair up. I gave myself a small smile in the mirror and it immediately fell.

*buzz buzz* 

I looked down at my phone and saw the time, shit. I was late to work, again. I never woke up early to get ready and make myself feel like a person again. Now that I think about it, that's a bit of a problem. I went to the front door and grabbed my bag then rushed out the door. My job was the one thing that I really truly loved. Seeing the kids' faces light up when I enter the room and rush over to me to ask to play with them was always a highlight. It made me feel like my life did have purpose. All these kids relied on me while their parents worked or had a day to themselves, I’ve even become quite attached to a few of them. There was one kid that I look forward to seeing everyday, her name was Abby. She always had a smile on her face when she saw me grabbing my shirt practically begging if we could draw together. I would always spend most of my time drawing and playing games with her while the other daycare attendants played with the other kids. Abby didn't have a lot of friends and besides with you, she was often really quiet. I smiled at the thought of seeing Abby today. She should already be there by the time I walk through the daycare door. 

And just as I suspected, when I came through the door, there she was. A big smile on her face, her hair curled slightly and she had on a pair of cute overalls. “Hey Abbs!” I gave her a soft smile and opened my arms. She came running over and gave me a huge squeeze. “I thought you weren't going to be here today, I got sad.” Abby said, looking up at me with her large doe eyes. I moved my hand to her head, messing up her hair a bit. “You know I don't miss a day kiddo.” She giggled in response, “come draw with me Y/N! I've been waiting all morning! I have an amazing idea of what kind of cats we can draw today” Abby dragged you over to the table with all the art supplies spewed about. That was Abby and I’s thing, drawing cats in different scenarios. You know pirate cats, president cats, the whole works. “What were you thinking?” I sat next to her and smiled. She made a small drumroll on the table with her fingers. “....zombie cats.” We both went silent as we looked at eachother then let out a small giggle. “Zombie cats it is then.” We spent that afternoon drawing zombie cats in different scenarios, zombie cats in the grocery store, getting hair cuts, driving cars and my personal favorite two zombie cats that were dressed like Abby and I. 

“Y/N?” Abby put her green crayon down. 

“Yes Abby?”

“You should meet my brother, he would like you.” Abby had the most serious look on her face and I giggled. “Really? Now why's that?” 

“Well I like you and you're my friend so why wouldn't he like you.” She picked her crayon back up and continued to draw, “he likes all my friends.”

 “He seems like a very nice Abby, I would love to meet him.” I gave her a soft smile.

“Abby?”

»»————-　♡　————-«« ♡ »»————-　♡ ————-««

This is my first fanfic so please be gentle….

yes there will be a part 2!!!

[delulu4dean]

“Withdrawals”

Warnings: suicide, depression, anxiety

Pairings: Dean Winchester x sister!reader, Sam Winchester x sister!reader

Prompt: withdrawal from Cymbalta. Based on my own experience

Word Count: 3,624

You are all packed up to go with your older brothers. They were going all the way to the Redwood Forest, and you didn’t want to be in the bunker all alone.

You aren’t a hunter like them, not yet at least. You’ve studied the lore, and you’ve trained a bit, because after all, you are a Winchester. And the name alone is like wearing a giant “kick me” sign if it said “kill me” instead. No, you’re a student, getting your associates online in the exploratory major because you have no idea what you would want to do other than hunt with your brothers.

Sam and Dean promised John they’ll never let you into the life. Your mom died shortly after you were born. Your dad met your mom on a hunt nineteen years ago. She was a nurse in a hospital. There was one patient who was wrongfully treated, and died due to medical negligence. And boy does a vengeful spirit do a lot of damage. John saved your mom’s life, and they celebrated that night. She got pregnant, and she kept John’s number so nine months later, he picks up the phone to find out he’s got a daughter. Dean overheard the conversation and when John said he wouldn’t go, Dean said he has to. It resulted in a huge argument. John eventually gave in, and they went to the hospital to see you, and Dean knew right there and then he’d do anything to protect his little sister.

Your mom killed herself after she brought you home. Family history of mental illness was bad enough, but the postpartum depression pushed her over the edge.

It was not easy showing up at Stanford trying to explain to Sam that he had a baby sister, and that also your dad was missing. It was especially not easy looking for your dad while they had to take care of a baby. Dean often got babysitters to watch you in the motels they stayed in.

And now here you are, nineteen years old, aimlessly walking through life. You’re getting an associates in nothing specific just to get some general education done. And that history of mental illness in your family is hitting you hard. You’re on antidepressants, a specific one that treats your depression and anxiety.

Dean parks at the motel, and goes to get keys for a room. You don’t mind sleeping on the couch, out of the three of you it only makes sense, you got tall and taller with you, and it just doesn’t seem fair to make them sleep on the couch when you fit so well on it.

Sam and Dean throw on their FBI getup and go start asking questions while you connect your laptop to the motel wifi. Yay statistics, said no one ever. You’re only doing this to make your brothers happy, you don’t see a reason to get a degree. They say it’s useful to get some sort of decent job, or to one day get a further education when you decide what you want to do. But you already know what you want to do, you want to hunt with them.

You don’t know how you ended up on the couch. One moment you were doing homework and… yeah, that’s enough to make you snooze. You look at the time and it’s 8am the next day. You look into your bag and your eyes wide as you realize you left your antidepressants in the bunker.

“Shit!”

Your sudden outburst awakens your brothers as they both shoot up to see what’s wrong with you.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Sam asks as they both run to your side.

“I forgot my meds at home,” you pout.

“Your meds?” Dean raises an eyebrow.

“My antidepressants,” you clarify.

Dean makes an “O” shape with his mouth in response.

“Have you ever missed a day before?” Sam asks you.

“No, and this is going to be longer than a day. How am I going to manage without it?”

“Managing your existing problems is the least of your worries kiddo. You’re going to go through withdrawals,” Dean takes a seat next to you. “One of us can stay with you.”

“I’ll be fine, let’s get breakfast, you guys do your research and then I get back and work on more homework, I’ll keep myself occupied,” you assure your brother. They give each other a worried look, not feeling too sure, but you insist you’ll be fine.

The three of you head to a diner, and you check out the menu while Dean checks out the waitress.

“Perv,” you mumble under your breath.

“Good morning, what can I get for you?”

Dean orders the greasiest breakfast on the menu, with bacon of course. Sam orders some omelette made with just egg whites.

“And for you, hun?” the waitress looks at you with a smile.

“I’d like a plate of eggs, over easy, and sausages. And an order of chocolate chip pancakes with extra whipped cream if that’s possible. And a cup of coffee if that isn’t too much trouble,” you order.

“Coming right up!”

After a couple of minutes the coffee is ready and she serves you and your brothers your coffee. You add a couple of vanilla creamers. You take your first sip, and immediately regret not blowing on it first. The hot liquid burns your tongue. You set your cup down as your stomach growls, begging to be fed.

On a normal day, you could be patient, wait for your food. But today isn’t a normal day, and even though it’s probably a five minute wait, ten at most, you need the food now. Your leg bounces up and down, as your fingers tap on the table.

“Hey kid, are you alright?” Dean asks you.

“Mmhm. Just hungry.”

“The food will be out any minute,” Sam assures you. You nod but it doesn’t make the time pass by any quicker for you.

You watch as the waitress walks over to your table with your food and you sit up. The moment she places your place in front of you, you dig in. Your brothers watch as you focus on your meal. They’ve never seen you eat like this. Normally you try to stay neat and clean while you eat. You talk to them. But right now, your brothers know better than to comment on you eating.

It’s not Dean doesn’t go crazy about food either. It’s just out of the ordinary for you, and you’re off your meds for the next few days, so they’re worried. Eventually they start getting to their research.

After breakfast, your brothers drop you off at the motel, and get on with the case. You open your laptop, log into your student portal, and look at your assignments. This is going to be a long day.

✰✰✰✰✰

You’re sat on the chair in front of your laptop, as you have been all day. It’s been hard to concentrate, you kept checking your phone, playing games. Every time your brothers texted to check in on you, you used it as an excuse to be on your phone again. And then when you finally started concentrating, you didn’t understand it.

You’re sat on your chair, tears streaming down your face. Hugging your knees, you just stare at the screen as the numbers blur together. Math was frustrating. It’s not like you’re bad at it, you’re actually great at it. But your mind is cloudy, and even reading over everything again and again, you’re not processing anything.

You barely made it through your other assignments, and this is all you have left for the day. You’ve been going at it since breakfast, you even skipped lunch to make up for the distractions.

The motel door clicks and creaks open, and footsteps enter the room. You don’t look up from your screen, you just hope they don’t notice your damp face.

“We got dinner,” Dean says, placing the bag on the table in front of you.

“ ‘M-not hungry,” you mumble.

“What do you mean you’re not hungry, what did you have for lunch?” Dean sits at the table, and Sam joins.

You still don’t look up as your brothers take out their food from the take out bag. Dean places your food in front of you as you push it away.

“I’ve been doing homework all day, no time to eat,” you attempt to speak but it all came out in a raspy whisper.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Sam scoots closed to you, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“I’m stupid, that’s what’s wrong,” you break down into sobs. “I can’t do simple math equations.”

“You’re great at math,” Dean tries to assure you, but it doesn’t help.

“But I can’t do it today.”

“Hey, hey. You're off your meds. You’re not stupid, you're just not in the right state right now,” Sam tells you, and you nod. “Eat up, and after dinner, I’ll help you with your math, and anything else you need help with.”

Your sobs become small whimpers until you stop crying altogether. You sniffle before grabbing the dinner your brothers got for your. Sam sits next to you and reads over your math homework and explains things. Just reading it didn’t process, but hearing it out loud, from your brother, that helped process what you were actually looking at. Not long after, you finish your homework.

“Thank you, Sammy,” you hug your brother, tightly, and he hugs you back.

“Of course, (Y/N/N),” he keeps you close.

✰✰✰✰✰

You toss and turn, unable to sleep. You’re really starting to miss your antidepressants. Huffing, you get up from the couch, throw on your slip on vans, and take one of the motel key cards. Maybe a walk with some therapeutic music will help you feel better. It really sucks how just after 24 hours, the withdrawal kicks in. You throw in your earbuds and start walking around the block.

Your skin feels all tingly and a burning sensation travels up your leg but you ignore your body screaming. Maybe the walk is what you need. You've been sitting all day, no wonder you can’t sleep.

You put your hands in your pocket as you sing along to the next song under your breath.

“Running low, on serotonin. Chemical imbalance got me twisting things. Stabilize with medicine, there’s no depth to these feelings. Dig deep, can’t hide from the corners of my mind. I’m terrified of what’s inside.”

You take in a deep breath, letting the cool air fill your lungs.

“Please don’t let me go crazy. Put me if a field with daisies, might not work but I’ll take a maybe.”

As the song ends, you reach the motel door, but before you can use your key card, the door opens. You look up to see Dean frantically walking out until he sees you.

“Y/N! Where were you?” He whisper-shouts.

“I just went on a walk,” you explain. “I couldn’t sleep. Thought it would tire me out.”

“How are you feeling?” he asks you, putting his hand on your back, bringing you inside.

“Honestly my legs hurt, my skin feels all tingly, and my head is starting to hurt.”

“Come on, you’re sleeping in my bed tonight. We can tell each other ghost stories until we fall asleep.”

You smile softly, remembering that’s what Dean would do to get you to bed growing up. You lay down underneath the cover and look at the ceiling.

“Instead of a ghost story, you can catch me up on what you and Sammy have figured out about the case,” you suggest.

And so Dean goes into detail about his day, and how he things by tomorrow night things should be done. Dean is thinking it’s a siren, since these victims were last seen talking about seeing a pretty woman.

“But what were the victims doing before they got killed?” you pose a question.

“One was smoking, another littered, the third being really disruptive,” your eldest brother answers you.

“Hm. Could be a dryad,” you tell Dean.

“A what?”

“A dryad, forest nymph, not a fairy or a goddess but sort of in between. Magical, gorgeous women. There are different nymphs, like water nymphs for example.”

“How do you kill a nymph?” Dean asks you.

“She’s just protecting the forest,” you pout.

“She’s killing people.”

“Talk to her.”

“How do you kill her?” Dean presses.

“You don’t,” you finally give in. “Not without killing nature. Do you want to burn down a tree, Dean?”

“… no.”

“Thought so.”

“Then what do I do?”

“Technically if you can find the one tree she’s attached to, you can kill her. But you shouldn’t.”

“I’ll try talking to her, for you.”

“Thanks Dean.”

✰✰✰✰✰

The next morning you and Dean are both awaken by Sam, who brings you breakfast burritos.

“Good morning,” he says.

“Mmm morning,” you yawn.

“Did you have a nightmare?” Sam asks.

“No, I just couldn’t sleep. So Dean caught me up on your case.”

Sam nods. After breakfast and some research, Sam and Dean get what they need to summon her.

“Since it’s not that dangerous, maybe I can come along,” you offer.

“Homework for the week all done?” Sam asks.

You nod.

“Legs feeling better?” Dean asks.

You nod again.

“You’re lying,” he squints his eyes at you.

“How would you know?”

“The second nod was slower and less confident.”

You groan.

“If you need one of us to stay with you, we can arrange that. If what you said is true, it will be easy enough for just one of us,” Sam suggests.

“I’m fine,” you lie. You’re not fine. Your body is aching, and the anxiety and depression are starting to really sink in.

“Sam, you’re better at talking things out than I am. I’ll drop you off, then head back here. You can call me if you need backup,” Dean says.

“Sounds like a plan,” Sam nods.

The two of them leave the room and you sigh, laying down. You can’t just stay sitting in this room the whole time. You’re at a bear themed motel close to the redwood forest. You need to experience the nature. You’re feeling trapped and panicked. Your breathing accelerates and you sit up. Pacing back and forth for the next forty minutes, you wait for Dean to get back.

The door opens and he walks in with a bag in hand.

“You’re five minutes late!” you yell at him.

“I just stopped to get some pie,” he sets down the bag. “I got you powdered donuts.”

You nod.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to yell at you. I’m just feeling really trapped in here. Think we can go for a walk, or a drive at least?”

“A drive sounds good,” Dean nods. “But eat the donuts before. No powder on Baby.” He points a finger at you.

“Yes sir,” you grab your donuts and eat, while dean digs into his pie.

After dessert, you two get into Baby. You look out the window as he pulls out of the motel parking lot.

“You want to play some music?” Dean asks you.

“What happened to driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole?”

“This is a one time opportunity, Y/N. You don’t wanna miss it,” he nudges you.

You use a cassette adapter to connect your phone. You continue the playlist you were playing last night.

“You wanna listen to sad music?” Dean raises an eyebrow.

“I am sad. I don’t have my happy pills,” you mumble.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Honestly? I just want to cry. For absolutely no reason. Well there is a reason, withdrawals.”

Tears well up, and you take a shaky sigh.

“I’m sorry kid. I’ll make sure we get home as soon as possible.”

You just nod. The medication doesn’t stop the bad thoughts from happening, but they stop them from hurting as much. The problem was the medication isn’t as effective anymore either. You’ve built a tolerance, so right now the only difference is instead of mild depression, you want to kill yourself. You hate how you look, I mean both of your brothers are considered attractive and you feel like you look… dorky. School is stressful especially when you’re working towards a degree you don’t want.

And then you think of your brothers, who swooped in to take care of you. John wasn’t a terrible father to you, but you know he was too tough on Sam and Dean especially when it came to you. And then when John died, Dean became basically like your dad. He already raised Sam during his youth and then he had to take care of you. You couldn’t help but think that Sam and Dean would have it so much easier without you.

You try to hide your cries, looking out the window, letting tears stream down your face.

“Y/N/N? Talk to me,” Dean coaxes you. “What are you thinking about.”

Your silent cries become wails and sobs. And the crying triggers a headache and you feel nauseous and everything is just awful.

“Dean, why do you keep me around?” You take a deep breath trying to calm yourself but it doesn’t work. “I’m a burden. You don’t need to be taking care of me, especially when I’m an adult. I’m just dragging you down,” you cry out. “If I were dead, or never born, you’d be so much happier!”

“Woah woah!” Dean pulls over, then looks over at you. “I would not be happier without you. We don’t keep you around to take care of you. You’re grown, independent. We love you. And we’re happy you like being around us too. You’re our family.”

You look up at him, and you can almost see his heart breaks as he looks at your face. He wipes your tears and pulls you in for a hug.

“Are you thinking of hurting yourself? Are the suicidal thoughts back?”

You nod, crying into the crook of his neck.

“I’m sorry.”

“Shh. You have nothing to be sorry about, baby, these thoughts aren’t your fault.”

You feel something going on in your throat, and you pull away quickly, opening the door, emptying the contents from your stomach. Dean quickly gets out from the drivers side and runs over to you.

“Ew,” you cry. “God that’s gross. I’m sorry.”

Your shoulders continue to shake as you resume crying. Your older brother crouches down (avoiding where you threw up) and pushes your hair back behind your ears.

“You don’t need to say sorry.”

“I might have gotten some on Baby,” you say, looking around to make sure.

“I can clean it. It’s just a car. You’re my baby sister.”

You sniffle as a smile creeps on your face.

“You do really love me. You’d never say she’s just a car unless it was that serious.”

“Of course it’s that serious. You’re having withdrawals. Now lets get something in that tummy,” he pokes your stomach. “Something light and comforting. You can wash up in the bathroom. And then we can get Sam and get you home.”

You nod and the drive resumes. You head back to the diner you had breakfast at yesterday. For lunch you get a grilled cheese and tomato soup. Dean gets a burger, obviously. As you wait for the food, you head into the bathroom and wash up.

After lunch, Sam gives Dean a call, saying it’s all over, and to also check up on you. You guys go on your way to pick up Sam. Dean hands the key over to Sam and Sam looks at Dean confused.

“Long drive from California to Kansas. Don’t want to leave her alone. After dinner we can switch off and you can sit in the back if you want,” Dean explains.

“It’s fine, it looks like you got control of the situation.” Sam looks over to you. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling like absolute shit. But better than before.”

“When we get home, you take your meds, get your sleep, then we can do a movie night,” Sam suggests.

“That sounds great Sammy,” you smile. You kiss his cheek before going into the back seat with Dean.

“Thanks for being here for me Dean,” you say, kissing his cheek as well.

“Of course. I’ve been here since day one,” he ruffles your hair.

✰✰✰✰✰

The next 21 hours end up being hell. Dean said the wrong thing while trying to comfort you, sending you spiraling. That’s when Sam sat in the back while Dean sat up front beating himself up over it as he drives the rest of the way home. You apologized for being a difficult kid and Dean didn’t deny you were difficult, he just said easy is boring.

Now Dean pulls into the bunker garage, and you run to your room to get your medicine and take it. Dean follows you, wanting to apologize.

“Hey, Y/N, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. You aren’t a difficult kid. You were a great kid. Fun, and a great listener.”

“It’s okay Dean, I’m over it. Really.”

He nods.

“Can you stay with me until I sleep though? You and Sam? I want to hear about the dryad!”

“Sure thing. Sammy!”

Sam runs up to you guys.

“She wants you to tell us about the dryad.”

“Was she pretty?” you ask.

“Yes, she was very pretty.”

You lay in bed as your brothers sit on each side of you. Sam talks about how your plan to talk to her actually worked, and how the conversation went down. You smile as you listen. Your eyelids get heavy and soon you’re out.

[sehodreams]

Pathetic people also fall in love

WC: 7.3K (I’m so sorry it feels like with every fic I write more)

S: Eunseok is busy enough with his life, he has an 8-year-old daughter and is overworked at his job, he didn’t need to add another thing to that list, so when he puts the unused room in his house for rent, he expects his life to become easier, not to wonder why his tenant is so hot!

TW and Tags: Singledad!Landlord!Eunseok x Tenant!Plussize!reader, aged up Eunseok for the story, all consensual, mutual pining, smut, p in v, use of condom (poor Eunseok is traumatized after his first daughter), fingering, mentions of dacryphilia, fluff (I think near the end, if you don’t think so please let me know and I’ll erase it from here), they’re just two losers falling in love.

Comment: Hey guys, sorry for not having post much lately, this was actually first a Sungchan fic because an anon asked me for a Singledad!Sungchan, but while writing I thought wth this is my baby Eunseok and changed it. I want to clarify that this is not dark at all, so be careful if you go through my other fics because most of them are, I’m all soft since 119, still hope you like it!

You were the best tenant anyone could ask for, and Eunseok knew that, so why was he acting as if he was desperate to drive you away?

When you moved to the room next to him in his house he had his doubts, you were younger than him, which usually meant problems, like drunk boys out of his house throwing up on his flowers at midnight, or loud music when he tried to work, but he needed the money and the extra help, and when he interviewed you, you were relatively fine, a young girl that moved away for school and was more than eager to help around for a significant discount on her rent.

You were so fresh, a 22 year old student with the character of an older sister, and he liked that, you always paid your rent on time and made cookies on friday night instead of going out, you also took care of his daughter when he needed to go out in an emergency at work, only asking for some food when he came back, so you were a good girl and the best tenant.

He couldn't lie to himself, he liked you a lot, which made him feel pretty much guilty, because you were just a sweet young thing who hadn't discovered how the world worked, while he, even if he was still young at his 27 years, had gone through everything in a rush, from heartbreak to disappointment and frustration, perfectly knowing he shouldn't look at you the way he did.

He had too many responsibilities to let himself be swayed your way, he had an 8 year old daughter, an overworking job and too many things on his shoulders, and your presence had started to bring him problems, especially at night, when he dreamed of fingering you in the kitchen before breakfast to thank you for making his coffee, or you receiving him in the entrance wearing nothing but an apron with flour stains, and after you gave him a taste of your freshly baked cookies, he dropped to his knees to taste something even better.

He dreamed all that and woke up feeling more tired than when he went to sleep, and with a painful boner that wouldn't leave him alone until he came over the bathroom titles when he took his quick morning shower, thinking of you with him there, taking his length like the good girl you were.

He couldn't look at your face when you said good morning, the guilt making him blush to his ears, wishing he could go back in time and not let his impulses win over him, because he was sure you would feel repulsed if you ever found out what he thought about you.

For you, he was just your landlord, the older guy with a daughter that worked in a restaurant and brought you leftover pasta every now and then, nothing more, and he had to come around that.

But you made it so hard, making breakfast with your pajama shorts and the thin t-shirts that showed your beautiful nipples, bending down with that gorgeous ass when you pulled the tray out of the oven, or with the sound of you vibrator that woke him up at 2 am, with your little moans going through his wall and making him gulp before he decided to wait for you to cum to go back to sleep.

He could help you, he thought that every time he heard you, he could walk the five steps to your room and fuck you like you deserved, nasty and rough, telling you how good you acted that day, making his favorite dish for breakfast, or playing with his daughter until he came back home, "Such a good girl, don't you want to be my little wife? Such a sweet thing should cum over a real dick every night".

His cheeks became red, he shouldn't be thinking that, not before work where he could do nothing to soothe the need.

He rushed to the door, with his coffee cup in one hand and his daughter backpack in the other, she was already waiting for him in the entrance when you ran to them, were you going to give him a goodbye kiss? He wished.

"I made too many of them yesterday, take them for lunch" you gave him a paper bag with two muffins, he felt the sweet aroma of them through the bag and his eyes followed your lips when you talked again, "I already put one in her lunchbox, these are just for you".

He wanted to kiss you so bad, he didn't care that your hair was still ruffled from your night, or that you weren't wearing any makeup at all, he thought you looked fucking gorgeous in that moment, and he wanted to kiss you to say thank you, thank you for being so good, thank you for treating his daughter with care, thank you for everything you do for him even when you didn't need to.

"Okay" he said, and left.

"Okay?" Sungchan asked when he arrived at work and told him what he did.

"Okay" Eunseok passed his hand through his hair, exhausted with everything, with his 10-hour shift, his daughter telling him she missed him, and his body not being able to sleep properly because it needed his tenant.

"What an asshole, that sweet thing just gave you two of the best muffins in the world for free, she made your coffee and helped you get your daughter ready for school, and you say 'okay', not even a 'thank you'? Man, if I was her, I'd leave your pathetic ass immediately, doesn't matter how cheap the rent is" he grabbed one of the little pastries and was about to eat it when Eunseok snatched it from his hand.

"Mine" he said and walked away, making Sungchan scoff.

He didn't meant to be so cold, it was like his body was in survival mode, trying to save his feelings from getting hurt before he even got a chance to do something about them, it'd be too uncomfortable if things didn't work out, you were precious for him, and he didn't want to lose you, but if he kept acting like that, he wasn't just going to drive you off, but you'd hate him in the process, and he couldn't deal with the thought of you hating him, not like that.

That night, when he arrived from his shift, he brought pizza and your favorite drink.

He left them in the counter and walked to his daughter's room, the house was in silence, his daughter already sleeping in her bed and after giving her a good night kiss, he searched for you, you were nowhere sight, so you must be in your room, right?

When he knocked no one answered, where could you be?

You came out of the bathroom seconds later, with just a towel wrapping your body, your tits were overflowing from the grip it did to not fall and he couldn't help but watch you from head to toe, your uncovered shoulders, your soft thighs, even your pretty feet with red nail polish.

"Hey Eunseok, you're early today" you proceeded to tell him about what his daughter had for dinner and how she was sleeping already, and that you were waiting for him before you went out. Almost everything got lost in his ear, he was too busy watching your back and the drops falling down your neck.

"I brought pizza" was the only thing he could say.

"Thank you, I'll eat it after I come back" you closed your door before he could say anything more and, not knowing what else to do, walked to his room.

He looked himself in his mirror, his boner was showing in the reflection and his face was red, he really had a problem, so he took care of it while listening your soft voice singing on the other side of the wall, feeling like a pervert when he finished over his hand.

He changed his clothes for something more comfortable and went to the kitchen to eat a slice of pizza before bed, he was tired and even if he came back earlier than normal, his body was exhausted from all the nights without sleeping well.

He was just finishing his portion when you walked down, looking like a fucking angel ready to take him to the afterlife.

You were wearing a white flowy short dress, showing your beautiful curves and the full of your chest through the cleavage that made you look even more angelic.

But where were you going dressed like that? It couldn't possibly be...

Your phone sounded before he could ask and you ran to open the door, a skinny boy with long black hair was there, waiting for you with the worst resting bitch face he had ever seen, so different from your excited ear to ear grin, "Hi Wonbin" you said with your pretty smile, and he only gave an acknowledged nod in response. Asshole, he thought.

He couldn't say anything to stop you from going out, to scream how you were his and how that lanky boy couldn't give you what he could, he wouldn't appreciate you like he already did, because he didn't know how special and amazing you really were.

Eunseok, still in the same place, heard the door close and then a car starting outside, driving away.

He felt fucking pathetic looking at you smile to another man and leaving the house with someone like him, but maybe that little boy was better than him, even if he didn't like the thought, he could be younger than him, and not have a daughter, just a normal boy for his age, without the weight of thinking about the future, because he didn't have anyone who depended on his actions, just himself.

He closed the pizza box and grabbed a beer, such a pathetic loser, he told himself, having the girl he wanted so close and stopping himself from getting her, blaming his circumstances instead of the reality of him being a coward.

The night felt longer than usual, he used to think that nights didn't have enough hours to rest, and now, with you outside, he thought it felt endless.

He just needed you back home, to know where you were, and what you were doing, with him steps away, to know you were safe.

Hours passed and when the eleven-news started and some traffic accident showed on the screen, he heard a car park out of his place, recognizing your steps to the door. When you opened the door he saw you alone, with a sad look and your pretty hair different from when you went out, as if you tried to brush it with your fingers to look put together before you walked in. His blood wanted to boil at the thought of him touching a single strand of your hair, but he was too preoccupied with your face, what could've happened in your date for you to arrive like that? Was he the jerk he appeared to be? He knew that boy didn't deserve you, but at the same time he wished he was wrong.

"Welcome back" Eunseok said, giving you a small smile. You dropped your purse to the floor when you saw him, looking too exhausted to reciprocate the awkward greeting smile. He felt bad for you, you continued with the disappointed air all over you and he didn't know what to do to cheer you up, "there's still pizza in the kitchen".

You denied his offer, walking to the couch he was sitting, letting your body fall on the other side of it, leaving a big space between you.

You watched the news together for a couple of minutes, in total silence. He understood you didn't feel like talking, you went out after such a long time, getting all dolled up with a dress he had never seen you wear before and such uncomfortable shoes. You almost never went out like that, more into comfortable loose clothes, and around the house you never used make up. He still saw you gorgeous though, but Eunseok was different, he thought that when you had your hair up in a ponytail while cooking, or when you left his daughter use her toy makeup on you, and he loved to see you wearing that swimsuit when you played on the child pool with her, your tummy showing through the clothing and your full chest covered with a top that wasn't your size, it couldn't be your size, he swore that because every time you used it your tits were too much for it and the fabric was hanging on for its life over your body, which to be honest, was incredible hot for him.

And you did all that for a boy that couldn't even walk you to your door at the end of the date, he can't imagine what else did he do that night to make you come back home with such a disappointed look.

"How was the date?" He asked and sipped his can of beer, trying to appear nonchalant, like he didn't care, but he was dying to hear about it.

"It wasn't what I expected" you answered while taking off your high heels, he saw a little blister forming on your feet and he wanted to grab them and give them a well-deserved massage, he was dying to do something for you, but he shouldn't, so he did the only thing he thought would comfort you without him touching you, he passed you his beer for you to take a sip, which you did, you grabbed it and drank a big gulp of it, looking a bit more refreshed after, making him feel good with his choice. "He made me pay for the movie tickets" you continued.

Eunseok opened his mouth, not believing what you told him, he knew the boy was going to be a jerk, but to such extent?

"Yeah, I know" you said when you saw his surprised expression, making you laugh but from embarrassment. "I... I didn't know how to say no, we were already in the que, and I thought that maybe it wouldn't be that bad, maybe it was going to be just that and then he'd pay for the popcorn, I-I don't know what I was thinking"

Of course you knew what you were thinking. You didn't go out with him for the movie, you wanted to get laid, and he was the only one who had offered to go out with you after so long, you didn't have another choice.

You weren't an easy girl, you knew you deserved more, but since you had moved to Eunseok's house you felt more and more needy, praying every day for him to not notice how your thighs clenched when he was around you, or how you touched yourself when he took care of his flowers under the sun, the sweaty look of him was too much for you to contain himself, and you had fallen for various reasons, how he always took a few of his precious creations to decorate your room, how he always brought you your favorite pasta when it was on the daily menu of his restaurant, even how he made sure you were always comfortable around him and his daughter.

How could you not fall for a guy like that? So caring and sweet, and you lived with him, it was like torture to have his smell around you, his body, his warmth, and not be embraced by him.

The only reason you accepted to go out with Wonbin was because your friends told you he was going to be a good fuck, but the only nearly good thing that night were his guitarist fingers playing with your pussy during the movie, "for the ticket" he had said, but you honestly would've preferred the money. It felt good for a second, the teasing was hot, and you told yourself it'd get better, but when he took you to his car and to that dark place instead of a nice room and a comfortable bed, fucking you in his backseat and coming after a few thrust, all that after he asked you to give him head, pushing his fingers on your well braided hair, making a mess of it even when you told him you didn't feel like it, everything got boring for him and he drove you home in an uncomfortable silence.

You felt disgusting when he dropped you off and immediately drove away, leaving you there in front of the house, not even checking if you walked in safely.

The only thing you could think while walking those few steps to the house was Eunseok would've never treated me like that.

So, when you opened your door and saw him sitting in the couch, in front of the tv, when he should be asleep after a long work day, waiting for you, you wanted to cry, because he hates the news, and he would never watch them willingly when he could use that time to sleep instead.

You contained yourself and sighed, biting back your lip from quivering and showing how weak you felt at that moment, you were a big girl, and you couldn't cry every time something went wrong.

But you couldn't deny that you were also more vulnerable because of him those days, and how he was pushing you away when you tried to get closer, just that morning, when you gave him those muffins, it hurt you to hear the 'okay' came out of his mouth, it felt like you were being too much for him and he didn't know what to say to your advances anymore, and perhaps that's why those days he seemed in a worse mood, troubled with your presence near him.

When he offered you his beer you feel slightly comforted, how pathetic, you thought, a girl feeling comforted just because the guy who was rejecting her gave her a sip of his beer.

Some pop star was in a dating scandal and you couldn't care less, but you didn't want to leave, you wanted to be with him for more time, as long as he allowed you.

"Did you want to go out with him?" He asked after a couple minutes. You denied with your head.

He finished his beer, so he got up and walked to the kitchen, coming back with two cans and opening one for you, sitting slightly closer this time.

"Then why did you accept?" Some politician was talking about being honest on his campaign, what a bullshit, he would lie, just like you, a normal human being, has being done since you came to that house, acting like you didn't feel anything for Eunseok, and that everything you did was out of your heart, it partly was, but you did it more eagerly because you wanted him to look your way, to maybe see you different, not the young girl that rented the room next to his in his house, and if not an equal partner, at least some kind of comfort from his daily life, something to come back after his tedious routine and that could give him the peace he needed, just like he and his home did for you.

You decided to not lie anymore, if he asked you something, the least you could do was to be honest with yourself and with him, you didn't have long until everything spilled out of the glass already full of your feelings, and it would kill you to move away from him, his daughter, his house, and everything that had become familiar to you those months, but if you were still going to get hurt, you should be honest before everything went to hell.

You drank another big gulp of your beer before talking again, to feel more confident, "I wanted to get laid". He almost choked with his drink, coughing and looking at your direction to try to find out if you were making a really bad joke or you were telling him the truth.

You didn't look at his direction, some festivity was about to start in a few days and the city was getting ready for a festival, it looks pretty, I should go with his daughter before I move out, you thought.

Every day you had contained yourself from going to his arms, kissing his lips and asking for him to pay you attention had come to that, and you had resigned to leaving when he asked you to, because if before he was uncomfortable, now he was going to find you unbearable, and it would kill you to stay and see the place you called home crumble in front of your eyes.

Still, you had never felt so free.

He saw the decision written all over your face, you knew what was going to happen next, and he was afraid of the outcome, of what was going to happen if you ever left him, what would he do without your coffee? Without your laugh filling his house, without the smell of your shampoo all over the room after you took a long shower, or with the way his daughter had started to depend on you for certain questions, just, what would he do without you?

He wanted to come home after his shift to be welcomed by his two favorite girls all over the world, and he was an adult, he would get over it with time, but he didn't want to, he had already compromised with many things, with leaving college, with not going to friend's parties anymore, with only drinking beer once a week, with not being the first place in his life never again, he had already accepted too many things, and you leaving wasn't one of them.

"Well, you didn't have to ask another man when you have me right here" he couldn't process what he said, he just said it, his lips moving before he could think twice. You stared at him taken aback from his words, you expected him to call you dumbass or anything along that, but he was making clear you had permission to see him not like your landlord or just an older guy, but like a man.

Your eyes interlocked and the tension got thicker, both of you were closer without any of you noticing, shoulders touching, and when you moved your face slowly towards him, waiting for him to tell you he didn't mean what he just said, he tenderly grabbed your face and made you kiss him, erasing all distance between you, finally.

Your eyes shut and you kissed softly at first, tasting the lingering bitter flavor of his cheap beer, enjoying every second of it, until you whimpered on his lips, and he, reacting to it, tapped twice with the palm of his hand over one of your thighs, to signal you that he wanted you to be over his lap.

You let your weight fall over him and he loved the way he felt your ass flushing with his knees, his hands roamed all the way from your waist to the softness of your legs and followed the same trail back, addicted to the way your body, even being bigger than normal and nothing like he ever had in the past, felt perfect on his hands, as if you had been designed for him and only him to touch and indulge in.

The hem of your dress had rolled with your movements and his hands didn't help neither, trying to lift it up as much as he could to feel the plump of your ass.

"To the movies with a dress like this one? Tell me the truth, did he finger you with people around? don't you feel any shame?" He asked, making you rock your hips over his boner. You sighed on his neck, not daring to look at him in the face, shame creeping your red cheeks.

"Why do you say that?" You asked curious of his remarks, they were true, but how did he know?

"Because he's no better than me, and I'd have done it too", he made you look at him, one of his hands still over your ass and the other on your jaw, admiring you over him, his glossy eyes were all over your face, from your flushing cheeks to your lips with the mild cherry color of your lipstick that was almost completely removed by his kisses "you're too pretty, no one would be able to resist" he said, lips finding your again, kissing you deeper, wanting to satisfy the part of him that had been screaming for your mouth every day until now, as if it was possible to ever calm it.

You started to blush even more, embracing him with your arms around his neck to kiss him better, and after a couple of seconds, when he let you breath and hide your face on his neck again, licking his lips and still making you bounce with the strength of his hands on your waist, moving you to his liking, his bulge perfectly touching your clit under your panties, you nodded to his past question, Wonbin did finger you, and you did feel shame, but with him, with Eunseok, you were sure you'd have let him take you right there in front of everyone and you'd have said thank you when he finished with you.

"I'm sure he fucked you, did he fuck you in his car? He doesn't look like the kind of boy who takes you to a nice room to give you what you deserve, I'm sure you couldn't even cum once with him, this sweet thing needs to be taken care of by someone who can handle it, someone like me" he whispered that to your ear, biting back his groans and making fun of you trying to hide your soft moans, adding to that the way you nodded to everything he said, he felt exhilarating, wanting to tease you even more, wondering what would happen, would you cry for him to stop? Or even better, would you cry for him to not stop?

The thought did things in him, and as a result, his thumb touched your pussy over the fabric of your panties, fumbling around it to feel how wet you were getting, making you moan louder than you expected, sensitive after being teased before but not finding the satisfaction you needed.

You supposed it was that, how Wonbin played with your pussy just hours before, you didn't think it was probably from all you went through for months, hiding the way you needed him, or how you played with yourself thinking of him behind your door, everything accumulating and being too much for you in this moment, the cathartic minute in which you finally were feeling his body against you, his aroma as close as you begged past nights, and his hands prying the place that suffered his absence the most.

"It hurts" you cried, begging for him to touch you directly with his hands. The air in the room was hotter and your untouched skin was burning. Your hips moved perfectly over him and he imagined himself making you lie on the couch to fuck you until you screamed, he was in pain too to be honest, too many nights needing you almost made him weak, but he wanted to enjoy it as much as he could, in case it was the only night he'd have the privilege of having you, to never forget you in case what you had decided for tomorrow didn't include him.

He kissed you again, he couldn't take you there, on his ugly old couch, he had to take you properly, like you should be treated, "I know baby, I know" he said, eyebrows frowning and breath hitching from getting closer to his orgasm, he had been too painfully untouched and sure you were the same, asking for each other at midnight, each of you in their own rooms, praying for the other to do something about their desire, "let's go to my room, okay? I know you can do it for me, I need to touch you more, and for you to be comfortable in every moment of it, my precious baby"

You wanted to tear up of how good he talked to you, giving and asking for compassion at the same time. For him, you had earned the right to be treated like that, to demand it from him, working hard and giving parts of you he didn't ask for and hadn't realized he needed until you came into the picture of his dull and exhausting life, making it brighter and more bearable every day you spent together.

You didn't want to move, so close of your first orgasm over his lap, but he clapped his hand over your thighs, telling you to move away from him "come on angel, I know you're a good girl, you heard me, let's go" you were a good girl, his good girl, so with the pain of your heart, and your clit, you moved out of his lap, letting him drag you by the hand to his room. The path was short, just the staircase and a couple steps to his room, but the way he was showing you his back, making you walk as fast as him to get to his bed, made your pussy throb. This was happening, really happening, and you smiled feeling content.

When both of you arrived to his room, a secret place you had never been able to set a foot in before, door always closed, you sensed the last line between you both blurring, because nothing, not even an earthquake, would make you get out of his bed tonight, you'd receive everything you had been yearning for, and you'd be grateful at the end, in case he only accepted you one time.

He kissed you again against his door, making you stand on your tip toes to meet his mouth. Your chest was touching his and you were dying for them to touch directly, without any fabric stopping your nipples from feeling his hard chest, even if he didn't train that much anymore, you had seen him come back sweating after a morning jog every sunday, waking up at 6 AM to come back with your favorite bread freshly baked.

While kissing he made you walk back to the bed, pushing you over it and taking off his shirt to then go back to his duty over you.

His mouth couldn't leave you alone, and groping everything he could with his hands and rutting his erection over your pussy, he made sure your lips, and your tongue, were focused on him.

"Please, I need more" you told him, tired of not feeling him on your skin.

He didn't answer you, two of his fingers found your clothed pussy and pressed your underwear, sensing how wet you were under his fingers, a big warm spot was formed, and he decided to not tease you anymore over it. His palm went under your panties, and if over your panties he felt you wet, now you were dripping. His hand was quickly covered on your juices immediately, making him groan, how could he tease his baby so much when she was suffering like that?

"Fuck, I’m sorry angel", two of his fingers found your hole and started to play with you, fucking you without problem because of how wet you were, and you received him like all the time, making him feel welcome with your warmth.

Your body was shaking under him, hands on his chest touching his skin, trying to grasp as much of him as you could, slightly pushing him away of how good he was working you with just with his fingers, but without the force to actually do it, it was just your body reacting to him, because you really wanted him to be closer.

"Wait-" strangled words wanted to come out of your mouth, he was so good with his hands your eyelids were fluttering and the only think you could see in the dark room, with the little light coming through his curtains, was his grin watching your pussy take his fingers, and his arm making that possible.

Two fingers became three and his hand started to fuck you more, like trying to find something inside you, fingers in and out on scissoring movements, until you started to cry louder and leak over his hand, making him feel proud of his work, "that's right baby, come on, cum all over my hand".

You had your first orgasm, making a mess on his hand and your panties, it was uncomfortable to keep wearing them, wet and sticking to you, so he took them off, making you lift your legs to take them. You didn't know if he could see you in that darkness, but he could, your pussy glistening was impossible to ignore, and the image in front of him was everything he had been dreaming of for months.

He took of your dress too, enjoying the view even more, you weren't wearing a bra, and your tits jumped in front of him, gravity making them fall a bit to each side of how big they were, so fucking hot.

His mouth went to your little buds, tongue flicking over one and grabbing the other, and exchanging the work between each of them after he thought it was enough attention to one. They were so soft under his hand, skin overflowing his grip and making him think maybe I should die here, because there was no place more comfortable than there over your beautiful chest.

"Eunseok, please don't tease me" You cried under him, you had watched him so concentrated on your chest you didn't want to distract him, but the pain on your pussy was becoming too much for you, and you were still leaking all over his grey sweatpants.

"Such a crybaby" He smiled, pulling down his sweatpants and his boxers, just enough to free his cock and put the condom he had on his nightstand, he wanted to fuck you, but he had already learnt his lesson, he wanted to take care of you for a long time, to fuck you many more times. He slapped your pretty cunt with his length, enjoying your little jolts. "Sorry, it's because you're the prettiest girl, I couldn't contain myself" he said, pushing his dick over you, simulating the way his cock was going to fuck you in just a second, you opening your legs even more without you intending to, all so he could be closer to you "I'll give you what you want, don't worry" he kissed your forehead to take your attention away from the tip of his dick sliding through your hole, but it was so long he still had you squirming under him, even with all the preparation, you felt him stretching you like no one had done before, "You're dripping all over my bed, it's because of me or him?" He asked after his cock made a wet sound when he finished pushing it into you.

"Uh?" You couldn't process his words, too lost into the sensation of his cock inside you, fucking your guts, so deed the only thing that went through your mind was fuck me, fuck me.

"Who made you like this, me or him?" He repeated his question and you realized who he was talking about, Wonbin, and even if he had fucked you, he was nowhere near Eunseok.

"You, Eunseok, just you" you cried, his hips had stopped for a second to hear your answer, and when he heard the desperation on your voice, he understood you weren't telling him just what he wanted to hear, but the truth. Your nails started to mark his back and he, because of the intensity of the moment, didn't feel it, too concentrated on the sensation of your walls accepting him so easily, something uncommon for him since his length was bigger than normal, but of course his little angel would do it without problem, you were made for him, and he had no intention of ever sharing you again.

His hips moved again, pulling as far as he could to dive all in, making your tears drop one by one of how good you were feeling, you felt high, like touching the sky, and with each trust he took you back to earth, to that room, demonstrating you how the only thing you needed to feel complete was him.

Your heart was racing, you could hear it beating on your ears, but you didn't know what was that you were hearing, his cock making you ignore anything else that wasn't him and his groans.

"Fuck, so tight, has no one been taking care of you since you came here? I'm sure your little toy doesn't compare" he asked and the rhythm of his hips increased, his cock pushing deeper with each thrust. "Were you thinking of me when you used it? Did you want me to hear it so I could go to your room and fuck you?" You shook your head, you used it because you were too horny after spending time with him, and just the image of him coming back home with his white shirt and his ruffled hair made you crazy, he always looked so stressed you had to resist the temptation of dropping to your knees to suck his cock when he told you your daily good night, your mind only repeated I'm here, please use me!, and without being able to receive anything from him, you had to rely on your toy.

You wanted to talk and tell him everything, but no coherent sound came out of your mouth, your insides were being so fucked any function in your mind had shut down, focusing only on your pussy and the pleasure he was giving you.

You couldn't talk and that frustrated you, making multiple tears fall down your cheeks, sobbing at this point. Your hands didn't want to let him go and you tried to hug him and get him closer to you, but you were crying so loud he had to stop to check on you one second, to make sure you were okay.

He looked at you worried "what's wrong baby? Am I being too much?" He caressed your cheek with his thumb and cleaned the strand of tears.

You denied, focusing all your mind into talking again "feels so good, please don't stop". He stared at you for a long time, appreciating your face and your body, trying to get all into his memory to never forget how beautiful you looked at that moment, crying for him and his cock, begging for him to not stop.

He didn't know what he would do if he couldn't fuck you again, if before he was deep into you, now he was in a place that had no escape.

You moved your body under him, trying to get the same feeling from seconds ago, making you forget everything again, making you forget who he was, who you were, and what would happen after you both finished.

"You have no idea of how much I fucking like you" you wanted to say me too when he talked, but his hips had started to work you again and you could only moan loudly when you tried to talk, so you decided to bite your lip to stop being too noisy instead. "I'm sorry baby, I know you want to be loud, but we'll get in trouble" you nodded, understanding why he said that. He put his hand over your mouth and kissed your temple while fucking you, pushing you to the same abyss he was in, needing more of your juices to make a mess over his bedsheets, to let your smell linger around him for more time.

The way he was looking at you was something you'll never be able to forget, something you had never seen before, no one, in all your life, had stared at you with such intensity, full of need and possession, like screaming mine, mine, mine, and you couldn't correct him, he was right, you were his.

Your walls clenched around him and he let your mouth free to kiss you again, his tongue had intruded into your mouth, stealing the little air you had and making you even more dizzy, mind scattered all around the room like your clothes, pushing his dick in a more erratic way, not calculating so much how and what to push, just feeling.

"I'm so close, cum with me angel, fuck" his hips were practically punching yours, making the sound of both skins clapping so dirty you felt yourself tightening just with it. You nodded, both of his arms were on each side of your head and your hands held onto them, trying to not fall wherever you felt you were about to, as if he was going to push you, with him, into some state of clarity you had never experienced before.

He did push you into something new, the orgasm was so hard you lost yourself for a second, mind becoming black and eyes rolling for a long moment, your heart and breath completely stopping and toes curling into the bed, feeling his cock throb inside you while some liquid leaked out of your used pussy.

He brought you back to reality with soft kisses. His hair was sweating over your forehead, and you felt his skin sticky against yours, but you felt complete, after so much time, you were where you should be, in his room, on his bed, with him and only him.

He let his body fall over yours, squishing you with his size, his cock was still inside you, and you didn't want him to move, he could stay like that all night if he wanted, you'd never ask him to move.

Sadly, he moved apart minutes later, when both of you had regained their breaths and your hand was caressing his broad back. He lifted himself, still between your legs, pulling his dick out of you to remove the condom, making you whimper a protest. He laughed quietly, looking down at you, such a needy baby.

He walked out of the room and you started to get doubtful, was he going to regret everything you had done? You loved every second of it, you didn't want to be apart from him ever again, but maybe... Maybe he just needed some release.

Your eyes started to get wet, you always thought you would be satisfied with one time, but you became greedy after feeling his touch, and one time would never be enough again.

He came back minutes after, you heard his steps, but you didn't turn back to him, afraid of what he would tell you.

"Angel, I brought you your tea, have some before you sleep" he touched your shoulder and made you look at him, when you did, he gave you the softest smile and moved a strand of your hair out of your face. You wanted to cry again, touched by his treatment.

You drank some of it, still fresh and cold, while he cleaned you with a wet towel between your legs, so you could sleep more comfortable.

Then, when you gave him the cup, he tossed the used towel away, and, after leaving your cup over a couple of his gardening magazines on his nightstand, he made you cover yourself under his bedsheet, lying next to you, accepting your hug into his arms and giving you a goodnight kiss on your forehead, erasing all doubts from your head, because he'd never be able to give up on his little angel again.

[shxtodxroki]

𝙽𝚘𝚝-𝚂𝚘-𝚂𝚎𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚝 𝚂𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚊

Summary: Your past friendship with Satoru Gojo is ancient history by the time you’re both well into your teaching years, the man a mere memory from your past you can’t help but reminisce on more often than you should. But when Christmas-time rolls around and you get roped into a faculty Secret Santa event alongside your sister school, your not-so-secret Santa causes old, unresolved feelings to resurface, and gives you a chance to finally rehash and truly release them. 

Warnings: Swearing, some angst, this fic was written as a gift so it’s a fem reader instead of my usual gender neutral reader! There’s also a few small descriptive details of the reader’s personality/likes since it’s targeted towards the person I wrote it for, but there are NO physical descriptions of the reader! Geto, Nanami and Haibara are also all teachers in this! (Nanami and Geto work w/ Gojo in Tokyo, while Haibara works w/ reader and Utahime in Kyoto!)

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x Fem! Reader

Word Count: 6.8k

Note: This fic is a gift that I wrote for @planetnini for this JJK secret santa event! :D Hi Nini, I was your secret santa! :D I had a lot of fun getting to know you and chatting with you through asks throughout this event, and I hope you like the final fic I made for you! I tried to take into account some of the things you told me and personalize it a bit, and I’d love to know what you think! <3 Happy holidays Nini and anyone else reading this, if you celebrate any holidays around this time of year then I hope you had a wonderful time, and even if not, I hope you’re having an amazing end of the year! :D

The scent of the town-famous bakery always managed to fill you with a bittersweet sense of nostalgia, memories flooding your senses as flashes of bright blue eyes and teasing grins flashed behind your eyelids in response to the familiar scent. It makes your stomach twist in mild discomfort, pushing the fond childhood memories that spring up back into the crevices of your mind where they belong as you feel a small, long-residing pang of longing.

He had always loved sweets.

Being friends with Satoru Gojo, the honored one who took Jujutsu society by storm from the very moment he was born, was an experience you reflected back on far more often than you’d ever admit out loud. Considering how long it had been since the two of you last had any significant contact, it would seem odd to admit just how often your mind still wandered to him, to the many soft moments and bright memories you shared in adolescence, and to the one true best friendship you had ever known. People have come and gone through your life in waves since then, and you’ve had dear friends who meant the world to you, but nobody could ever come close to the role Satoru had once filled, the way he made your heart feel so full of affection and love that it just might burst. It was the kind of friendship you felt you would only find once in a lifetime, and thus the kind you could never forget. Maybe it wouldn’t sound that ludicrous after all, but you still kept this longing to yourself, and most days, you managed to dull it to a gentle simmer beneath your ribcage as you went about your days.

You have other things to focus on now. A job and your loved ones and the upkeep of your home, all essential parts of your daily life that keep you from lamenting on the mere wisps of memory of the boy you knew. Knowing that he wasn’t far away, living a life far busier than your own but in the same profession at your sister school, did come with the occasional urge to reach out, to reminisce or catch up or ask why your whole friendship had fallen apart in the first place. But you’ve always managed to resist the urge, to fight back the desire to reach out and pry yourself away from the open yet long-ago unfollowed Instagram page on your phone (though not always without help, you had to thank Utahime for keeping you from your nostalgic urges every now and then). 

So with all the work you had put into moving on from a friendship you honestly should have long ago, you would admit (at least to yourself) that you were less than excited to find out that you’d be participating in a winter retreat with the sister school where Satoru now taught at. You were even less eager when it was revealed that there would be a staff-wide Secret Santa event between the two schools, and as the days counted down towards the trip, you found yourself wishing that the universe would cut you a break just this once and give you anyone else besides Satoru to buy a gift for. You knew so little about the person he was currently, now that so much time had passed between the two of you, and truthfully, you had no clue if he even remembered who you were at this point. The sting of realizing that he didn’t remember you was a pain you truly didn’t long to feel, and having to get a gift for your former best friend under such uncertain conditions was simply a fate you wished to avoid at all costs.

“Quit glaring, you’re drawing attention to you, and me by proxy.” You mutter to your best friend as she glares daggers into the back of the man you wished to avoid. Luckily for you, the interaction was anything but uncommon for the two, so it was unlikely to truly draw attention to either of you. Yet it still wasn’t a risk you wanted to take, not wanting to face even the slightest possibility of being forced to suffer through awkward small talk with the man who had once known all your deepest secrets.

“How did that idiot manage to become a teacher? His students would be better off with a fucking rock as an instructor, I swear to god.” Utahime grumbles back from beside you, paying no mind to your words as she continues glaring at the man from afar. Her disdain for the man was amplified when you told her of your shared past, but she had held a strong dislike for him from the moment the two had first interacted at school functions, leaving you hopeful that he wouldn’t be phased from the typical distant hostility and annoyance he received from your best friend. These days, Satoru Gojo rarely managed to spare you as much as a glance, and it had been years since he had uttered your name (a fact you were ashamed to admit you had been keeping track of, in the brief and meager conversations the two of you had shared over recent years). The feeling of being forgotten stung deep in your bones, but you outwardly portrayed the same level of unbotheredness and nonchalance he did whenever the two of you would be put in the position to briefly interact, so most of your colleagues (including Satoru himself) were hopefully none the wiser to your inner predicament.

“Alright, everyone come draw a name! And there’s no switching or re-draws unless you pick yourself!” You suddenly hear Suguru Geto’s voice echo through the room, sounding controlled and put-together as always as he drew you from your reverie and back into reality once more. It didn’t take long for the air to grow stuffy as all of the evening’s attendees crowded together around the bag of names, the small crowd still managing to tightly press together as everyone crowded in to select their recipients for this year’s secret santa event. 

Some were more eager than others, but the process was still able to remain somewhat orderly as everyone pressed together and took turns grabbing a folded up paper from the bag. The rotation went counter-clockwise, and you watched as your coworkers and fellow faculty went one-by-one until the line reached Utahime to your left. As she plucked a name from the bag, you blurted out a quip that wasn’t meant to particularly be hidden, but one which you really only intended for her ears as a small grin made its way across your face.

“Thank god Gakuganji’s off on business this year, imagine what a nightmare it would be to buy a gift for him.” You laugh at your own comment, watching your best friend’s face light up in acknowledgment of the joke before opening the slip of paper in her hand. The voice you hear responding to you, though, is much lower than that of your friend’s, and the sight of her mouth not moving causes your stomach to drop as you suddenly grow aware of the presence to your right.

“God, I think getting a gift from that geezer would be worse. He’d bring five dollar socks and expect ‘utmost gratitude’.” His voice felt like honey coating your ears, deep and smooth as the scent of his cologne suddenly engulfed your surroundings. You couldn’t believe you had let his presence slip out of your awareness, that you had been oblivious to him standing right beside you even if only for a few moments. You were so used to being tuned into his movements during gatherings like these, doing your best to avoid him whenever possible and to maneuver your way subtly through awkward small talk on the occasions where avoidance wasn’t possible. And yet here he was, appearing beside you without a shred of awareness on your part. And he was joking with you causally, as if the history between you meant nothing to him at all.

He may not remember your history at all at this point.

You could feel heat rising to your face at the thought, the painful stab of acknowledging that you may not have meant as much to him as he did to you causing your form to grow rigid where you stood. You knew you shouldn’t still be so affected by him, so in tune to everything he did and so easily reactive whenever he was near. His quick remark to you showed that he held no similar reservations when interacting with you, and it had been plenty of time to let go of the torch you had been carrying. But you were the one who left the friendship with unresolved feelings you never got the chance to express to him, with an attachment deeper than just friendship. And he obviously wasn’t, which was clearly why he had managed to move on so much faster than you had.

You were thankful as you realized it was your turn to pull from the bag, eager for a distraction so you wouldn’t have to think of a response to Satoru’s remark. You needed to calm down, and hopefully you could occupy yourself with thinking of potential gifts for your recipient through the rest of the night rather than putting so much energy into a man who wouldn’t reciprocate. Your hand plunged in and out of the bag in a flash, just desperate for any name that wasn’t Satoru’s, and you let out a soft sigh of relief as you read the name inscribed on the paper in your hand.

“Yu Haibara”. 

Thank god, fate seemed to be on your side this time. Not only did you not pull Satoru’s name, but you were close enough with Haibara, as you saw one another nearly every day, to comfortably pick out a gift you knew he’d enjoy even without the list provided to you. He was easily one of those you were closest to among the participants, second only to Utahime, and despite the melancholy that had been simmering within you throughout the evening as thoughts of Satoru filled your mind, you felt a sudden wave of confidence and excitement as you thought of what you could get him that you knew he’d love. Perhaps this was what you needed, to stop focusing so much on a long-dead friendship by instead putting that energy into pursuing closer friendships with those you cared about now. This was going to be the Christmas to turn around your attitude, you were sure of it.

And in the self-improvement spiral you sent yourself down in that moment, for once you missed the small, almost imperceptible yet genuine smile that crossed Satoru’s face as he pulled a name of his own from the bag.

The next morning, as you woke up and stepped out of your hotel room for the morning after dragging yourself out of bed at the sound of your alarm, you found yourself nearly falling face-first into the floor as you tripped on an unfortunately-placed object directly outside your doorway. The fall caused you to let out a shriek as you braced for impact, and though you were luckily able to catch yourself before you crashed, the event still left a small, tired scowl on your face as you pulled yourself up and took a glance at the item that had nearly left you bruised and sore first thing in the morning.

The sight in front of you, however, quickly melted your annoyance into curiosity as you saw a soft, pale yellow bag obstructing the walkway outside of your hotel door. Your mind was racing for a few moments as it tried to catch up with the morning’s events, and when you were eventually able to recall the secret santa exchange that you had signed up for the night prior, you felt a small giddiness bubbling within you as you grabbed the small bag by it’s handles and returned with it in hand to your room. Perhaps you could forgive whoever had left the bag in prime tripping position, as the excitement of receiving your first gift of the week outweighed any prior frustrations you held.

You opened the bag expecting a small gift to start off the exchange, maybe flowers or a nice snack. Your secret santa had only had hours between the choosing of the names and this morning, after all, and you would perfectly understand choosing to go light on most of the gifts even without the rushed nature of this first morning. So when you stripped the bag of its tissue paper only to be faced with a brand-new copy of a new game you had mentioned in your list of potential gifts, you couldn’t fight back the widening of your eyes in surprise. A brand new game surely wasn’t cheap, and to get it at such short notice felt like nothing short of a miracle. (Or incredible effort on your Secret Santa’s part). Taped onto the game was a note, short and simple:

“You’ve seemed extra stressed the past few days, so why don’t you take the day off and relax? Kick your feet up and have fun playing your new game ;)

- Secret Santa”

The note gave little away of the one who had left the gift, yet their kindness and effort was clear in both presentation and product as you grinned to yourself. Fate truly did seem to be on your side this holiday season, as you had seemingly been blessed with the loveliest secret santa in all existence. While the gift was much more than you had expected, and you had barely even gotten a chance to wake up that morning, you were quick to shoot a text over to Utahime telling her to come over to your room to share your excitement with someone. Though you unfortunately couldn’t play the game yet as your secret santa had advised, since you hadn’t brought your console with you on the trip to Tokyo, you still wanted to enjoy the gift in some way as you silently sent your gratitude towards your mystery gift-giver. You’d have to thank them when they finally revealed themself on Christmas eve, but for now you’d wait for your best friend to arrive so you could brag about your exceptionally generous secret santa and the gift you couldn’t wait to try out once you returned to your cozy home in Kyoto at the end of the week.

On the second day, you thankfully did not wake up to a tripping hazard outside of your door, leading you to assume your secret santa would drop off your gift later in the day. Honestly you were thankful that it wasn’t left first thing in the morning like the day prior, as you had accidentally overslept after staying out a bit later than usual picking out a gift and writing a fun note for Haibara for day one of your secret santa exchange. 

You had offered to chaperone a sightseeing day around Tokyo for the students (one the Tokyo students would also be attending, though more on the basis of shopping than sightseeing) alongside Utahime and two Tokyo instructors, and after sleeping through your alarm, you were already short on time as you scrambled to get ready and meet your students on time. Having a gift to open would have only added to your hassle, and now you could look forward to receiving one at the end of the day instead as you rushed to the meeting spot, just barely making it in time.

Utahime and all of your students were already waiting, and you watched as your best friend’s face drew into a small smile as she saw you approaching. Your eyes quickly caught sight of Satoru and Suguru standing beside her, seemingly the volunteers to chaperone the Tokyo students for the day, but you were determined to stick to your new outlook of no longer fixating on Satoru, so you forced yourself to brush past his presence even as he mocked and teased your best friend beside you. The four of you set out with the students in tow, allowing Suguru to lead the way as a Tokyo native (and out of a lack of trust in Satoru’s navigational skills), and you did your best to stop your mind from drifting to thoughts of Satoru as you tried to keep your students engaged and having fun, while also taking some time to chat with Utahime and scan the area for potential gifts for Haibara.

You made many stops throughout the day as you passed through various shopping districts and interesting stores, and it brought a smile to your face to watch your students interact and have fun with one another as well as their sister school peers as they spent the day shopping and chatting altogether. The poor kids were faced with the monstrosities of the Jujutsu world on a daily basis at such a young age, and it warmed your heart to at least be able to give them the chance to simply have fun and act like teenagers every once in a while. For today they weren’t Jujutsu sorcerers in training, they were just kids hanging out with their friends, and the thought made you smile as you, Utahime and Suguru hung back and watched the kids do their shopping and sightseeing (as Gojo had turned his attention from Utahime to Megumi Fushiguro for the time being, much to the young boy’s chagrin.

The day was long and covered quite a bit of land, taking you all through the streets of Tokyo as you reminisced on your youth and saw places you hadn’t visited in years, since leaving Tokyo for Kyoto to become a Jujutsu instructor and get away from your (admittedly not that dramatic) past. Sure, the nostalgia of it all did bring memories of your childhood with Satoru to the front of your mind on occasion as you passed a shop that the two of you used to always visit with your allowance money, or a favorite restaurant you would visit together on special occasions.

 But you managed to keep your focus on the students and enjoying the night out rather than letting yourself drown in the memories, and you were proud to say you even managed to be friendly and courteous to Suguru despite your usual awkwardness around your former other half’s new best friend. You were so focused, in fact, that you failed to notice when Satoru’s watchful eyes fell on you and refused to leave as he saw you interacting with his best friend with ease, or the way his expression faltered into an unreadable look at the sight.

As the sun begins to set, and all the adults begin to discuss plans to turn in for the evening, you catch a brief whiff of a scent that sends you hurdling back into your adolescence full-force, your common sense momentarily leaving you as you step out of the ongoing conversation and quickly make your way to a place which was once your sanctuary, your home away from home in your younger years.

Your favorite bakery, a small, family-owned shop whose delectable treats you hadn’t tasted in years was still standing in the same spot it always had been, and the scent of the pastry that had been your favorite since childhood made its way to you as your eyes widened at the sight. You were so caught up in trying to keep yourself from drooling at the delicious scent that you failed to hear your colleagues approaching behind you, nor the way Satoru’s eyes were trained on you once again with the slightest hint of guilt reflecting in them.

“Mmmm, looks yummy.” Utahime praises as her eye lands on the pastry you had been staring down, the two men beside her nodding in agreement. You allowed yourself another moment to stare at the delicacy inside of the shop before turning to face your comrades, though you felt your stomach do a small flip as you finally registered the way Satoru’s gaze seemed stuck on you, and the unreadable look on his face. 

“Yeah…. Sorry guys, I just got a bit distracted. We should be heading back to the hotel.” You mumbled out your apology as you returned to your spot beside Utahime, trying to ignore the way thoughts of Satoru once again flooded your mind as you tried to make sense of his strange expression, or the unusual silence he was now emitting. 

But there was no way that bakery brought back the same feelings for him that it did for you, and you weren’t even sure if he remembered the time the two of you spent there so long ago at all. You were sure he had long-forgotten your love of that specific pastry as the years had passed, or the way he used to always steal a bite from you whenever you bought one for yourself. Those days had long passed, and you forced yourself to shake off his sudden change in attitude and assume it was a coincidence as the four of you saw all of your students to their sleeping quarters for the evening, before parting ways to get ready for bed yourselves. 

Though you were a bit sad to see the sight of an empty doorway as you made your way back to your hotel room alone that evening, you felt your heart rate pick up a bit a your mood turned to something more hopeful when you heard a quick knocking on your door as you finished up your skincare routine for the evening. Of course, your elusive secret santa was gone by the time you opened the door, but the scent that practically smacked you in the face as you reached for another pale yellow bag suddenly had your stomach twisting and turning once more as you felt your suspicions begin to raise.

And as you suspected, inside of the bag you were met with the same pastry you had just been admiring less than an hour prior, the sight making you a bit less happy than it usually would despite your gratitude for the gift as you began to realize that your secret santa had to be one of the other three people you had spent the day with. And despite your hopes that things weren’t as they seemed, the note taped to the side of the bag only caused your heart to sink further as it practically spelled it out for you, so early into the week of secret santa exchanges.

“These have always been your favorite, and now you have a whole batch all to yourself, so you don’t have to share. Though, I wouldn’t mind if you’d be kind enough to slip me a piece ;)

- Secret Santa”

You spend most of the third day - another free day, thankfully - relaxing and trying to distract yourself watching all of your favorite movies and TV shows, doing practically anything to try and keep your mind away from your discovery last night. You did end up eating the pastry that you had received the night prior (at first the thought made you shiver, as the treat felt as if it weighed a thousand pounds with the loaded memories packed within, but the temptation had eventually been too strong to resist as it’s sweet scent bombarded your senses) but you were making it a point to stay in your room for the day unless one of your students needed you, determined to avoid Satoru as you ignored your emotions rather than attempt to process them.

The note he had left the night prior seemed to indicate that the self-depricating idea that you had clung onto for so many years of him forgetting your friendship was in fact false, and the thought alone had your head swimming with conflict and served to bring up more heartbreak than the reality you had created for the state of your relationship with him over the past ten years. 

If he had forgotten about you, drifted off to other friends and bigger responsibilities until your bond faded from his mind, it would at least be a pain you were used to. A pain you had desensitized yourself to through the years of pining and pondering of a friendship long lost within the seas of time. But the thought that he may still remember it all, could still recall the afternoons spent together and the secrets shared, seemed to hurt much deeper. Because that meant he had chosen something else over those memories, that they seemingly hadn’t meant as much to him even with the images still fresh in his mind.

It was a painful stab to the gut you weren’t quite ready to acknowledge, so you were content to play the fool for now as you distracted and tried to deceive yourself.

When another swift knock sounded out from the end of your room, late in the evening once more (just after you had returned from your brief venture out of your room to deliver Haibara’s gift for the day), you were truthfully hesitant to open the door at all. You were currently clinging on to plausible deniability that the note from yesterday may have somehow been a coincidence, that Satoru may not be your secret santa after all. But given how willing he was to completely give himself away as early as day 2, you had a feeling that you wouldn’t be able to live in denial for much longer once you saw what your secret santa had left for the third day. 

Nonetheless, you eventually worked up the courage to rise to your feet and slowly make your way to the door, staring down the baby-blue bag standing in front of you as if it were a weapon of mass destruction. A few minutes of deep breaths and self affirmations later and you were slowly, carefully removing the tissue paper from the small bag, only to be faced with a sight that instantly caused your eyes to sting with fresh tears.

A mint green DSI, and a small collection of games. An artifact you thought you had lost long ago, likely forgotten amongst some move between houses.

You barely even noticed the tears falling down your cheeks or the way your heart seized in your chest as you reached for the note, hand over your mouth in both awe and devastation as you read the inscribed words.

“Sorry this one isn’t new, I wouldn’t mind spending thousands on you but I thought you’d prefer this. You left it behind, and I haven’t quite found the time to return it yet. Figured you’d enjoy ;)

- Secret Santa”

This was a confirmation of every thought that had been spinning within your head over the past 24 hours, and as you held one of your favorite childhood toys in your hands for the first time in over a decade, you felt more conflicted than ever on how to handle your relationship with Satoru, or what your feelings for the man were at all any more.

The following days went by in a similar rhythm, though the gifts thankfully became simpler and less nostalgic as time went on. (You weren’t sure if you could handle another late-night crying session as the result of any particularly thoughtful gifts).

Day four had left you with some typical teaching supplies, as Satoru had heard you complaining about the lack of traditional lesson plans within the Jujutsu education system and your desire to teach your students at least some of the things they’d learn in a typical Japanese high school environment over a faculty-wide dinner. 

Day five, he had gifted you with some skincare products he noticed were running low after showing up unexpectedly at your hotel room in the middle of the day, pleading with you to let him use your bathroom since he had forgotten his room key inside and Suguru was asleep. The two of you hadn’t spoken much, as he was quickly in and out of your room, but he breathed out a silent sigh of relief once he was securely outside your door as he thanked the universe that you hadn’t thought too deeply into his excuse. It would look pretty ridiculous of him to be insistent on the chance to see you for a moment if you had realized that he didn’t need to stay in a hotel in the city he lived in, after all.

Day six had been the most difficult for you to process since the emotional roller coaster of the third day, and it had been the catalyst for you to finally cave and explain to Utahime what you had discovered about your not-so-secret santa, and what he had done since your revelation. You had done your best to keep her out of it, as you knew she wasn’t particularly fond of Satoru on his best of days and had listened to many of your previous venting sessions about your forgotten friendship with Satoru prior to this exchange. But when you saw what awaited you in your bag on the second to last day of the exchange, and the note that accompanied the gift, you threw your efforts out the window as you finally sought advice from your best friend.

In the bag you were greeted with a complete collection of the Haikyuu manga and a small collection of high-quality lip balms (a collection you had been growing well before you lost touch with Satoru), along with a note much lengthier than the others.

“I don’t know if you’re still all that into this series, but I know how much you loved it when we were younger. Figured this would be better than that body pillow I always threatened to buy you, hopefully you’ll read through them and get to ‘experience the story all over again’ or whatever it is you nerds say.

The lip balms I remember you loving for some reason, but I’m hoping tomorrow I’ll give you a reason to use them. We’re supposed to reveal ourselves anyways, and I’ve got some things I’d like to say. So if you’re willing to listen to an idiot like me blab on about feelings and shit for a while, meet me at our favorite bakery tomorrow night at 7.

- Secret Santa”

You knew that you’d have to face him at some point, as you did eventually have to reveal yourself to your secret santa and exchange a final gift to one another. Yet you were unsure if you should go to this meeting or not, if you were ready to face Satoru’s feelings and demand the explanation you deserved for what had happened so long ago, especially in a place that held such sentimentality to each of you.

You had expected Utahime to talk you out of it, almost hoping she would as you went to here and finally explained to her what had been going on throughout this secret santa exchange. Truth be told, you were terrified at the thought of all your feelings for Satoru possibly being laid out in the open, and were hoping she would give you an excuse to bail.

Unfortunately, she did the exact opposite of what you had hoped, and encouraged you to meet with him in the hopes that you’d finally find some sort of resolution for the feelings you had been carrying in your soul for so long, and that they’d finally either be laid to rest or be given a chance to flourish into something much better for you. Curse her and her rationality, and the way she always had your best interests at heart.

It took nearly a full minute of standing outside the small bakery, your heartbeat ringing through your ears like timpanis ringing through your bones, for you to work up the courage to open the door and step inside, pulling off your winter attire as you glanced at the cozy Christmas eve decorations lining the walls. The bakery was quiet on such a late hour the day before a holiday, and it was easy to spot Satoru (early for once, a fact that made your heart flutter the slightest bit in your chest) at a cozy table in the corner, the same table the two of you frequented throughout your pre-teen years. He didn’t even try to hide the way his eyes lit up at the sight of you, overjoyed that you had actually shown up as he waved you over to your table. His greeting, however, was incredibly lacklustre compared to the week-long build up of tension and emotions between the two of you as an effortless grin spread across his lips.

“Hey.” Was the only word that fell from his lips as you sat down across from him in the booth, the same careless attitude that had always emanate from Satoru’s very being coming off of him now. But this time you refused to play along, refused to ignore the way he had tugged on your heart strings all week long and make casual, meaningless conversation the way you always did. 

“Don’t ‘hey’ me, Satoru. You know why I’m here.” You start, face fixed in a stern expression as you fought hard not to let your anxiety peek through onto your features. “Obviously I know you’re my secret santa, but I think we have bigger things to talk about here. Specifically, the way our friendship fell apart.”

Satoru wasn’t surprised in the slightest by the way you jumped straight into the heart of the conversation, he had seen the tension building on your face all week long as you received gift after gift from him. Hell, his own feelings had been much more difficult to contain than usual, with his desire to be close to you, to have you back in his life once more growing by the day. But Satoru was nothing if not unable to admit his emotions seriously, so his relaxed grin remained as he did his best not to let his heart get the best of it.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. I did say I had things I needed to tell you.” He ponders gently, taking a bite of a sugary cream puff laid on the plate in front of him before meeting your gaze with his aqua eyes. “Look, I was an asshole teen, and everything that happened was on me. None of it had anything to do with you.”

Now it’s your turn to be shocked, completely amazed that the Satoru Gojo who had never apologized once as a child was currently admitting complete fault. You were stunned into silence at his words, though your face suddenly showed a layer of openness to his explanation as he continued on.

“When we got to high school I got so wrapped up in making new friends and advancing my technique and all that shit. Honestly, I was a total jerk back then, I dunno if you’d have wanted to hang around me anyways.” He laughs at the remark, but you could tell that this was the real Satoru, briefly peeking through his walls that seemed to melt so easily whenever he was around you. “Plus I had always kinda liked you, but it never really seemed like you felt that way about me. So I used my new friends and my status as a way to not have to talk to you, I was just hoping that it would give me a chance to get over whatever weird crush I had because it would just be pathetic for you to find out about it. But then it went on for longer than I realized, and by the time I figured out how much we had drifted, my pride wouldn’t let me admit why I stopped hanging out with you in the first place. Dumb, I know, but that’s really all it was.”

Satoru seemed so casual throughout his entire explanation, as if he was simply recounting his work day rather than delving into the intricacies of his thoughts and feelings and the reasons why your friendship had fallen apart. And his reasons were stupid, a part of you loathed the way younger Satoru had been so stubborn in refusing to communicate his feelings that he split the two of you apart as a result. Yet another part of you felt so incredibly thankful that the split hadn’t been because of something you did, or because he had stopped caring. It was the most idiotic behavior you had ever heard of, yet you were quick to find it in your heart to forgive him when you heard the next words that fell from his lips.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, though it was clear enough for you to hear amongst the white noise of the bakery as he tried to hide the bashful look on his face at his words. It wasn’t often that Satoru Gojo apologized, and in fact it was a sight you had never seen from the man in all your time together, and it took everything in you not to interrupt him with words of forgiveness as he continued on. “I considered doing something lame, like pulling a “your gift is me” or some shit, but I got you a real gift instead. I’m just gonna say that I know for a fact that I loved you back then, and I’m pretty sure I do now. So take this gift, and I’m just the bonus, if you’re willing to take it.”

You were practically on autopilot as you took the final gift of the week straight from Satoru’s hands, no longer hidden beneath any bags or bows as your entire body felt as if it were on fire from within. You were completely unable to muster words at the moment as you took in everything you had just heard, trying to fit what he had said into the puzzle pieces of your own emotions as you glanced at the two tickets Satoru had given you, tickets to a concert for your favorite artist. 

“Hopefully you’ll let me go with you, but if you decide to kick my ass to the curb and never speak to me again, then you can at least bring a friend.” He told you as he carefully watched your reaction to your final gift, though Satoru was unable to fully hide the way panic spread throughout his entire body like a plague when he noticed tears streaming down your cheeks in waves. Before he could get another word in or even ask you what was going on, though, your eyes met his once more as your voice wavered with emotion.

“You are a complete idiot, Satoru. I spent years missing you and breaking my own heart thinking that you had just forgotten about me completely, that you didn’t remember out friendship at all. I thought my feelings would just be stuffed down and elft unsaid forever.” You chide him as your tears pour out, though the way your hand sets the tickets on the table before reaching out for his indicates that you have more yet to say. 

“You’re just lucky that those feelings hadn’t been stuffed down into nothing yet.” You continue as you sneak your hand over to interlink your fingers with his, relishing in the genuine surprise that took over Satoru’s face at the warm feeling. “And the fact that you actually apologized to me for the first time helped too.” You add on, squeezing his hand gently in yours in order to prompt him to look into your eyes.

“.....Does this mean you do want the bonus?” The man in front of you mutters out after a moment, clearly feeling overwhelmed with how emotionally charged the moment is as he tries to lighten the atmosphere with a joke. And it makes his heart sing in his chest when he hears your sweet laughter in response, a sound he had missed most in all the years apart as the both of you began leaning in from across the table.

“......Yes, I guess I do want the bonus. It’s Christmas eve, after all.” You respond with a smile, before taking charge of the moment as you press your lips into his. The kiss is short and sweet, and you know you’ll have to take the relationship slow as you re-learn each other’s personalities and quirks now that you’ve grown into adulthood. Its’ obvious that it won’t be an easy process, that you’ll both have to put in the work to make the relationship work and move past the mistakes of adolescence. But you also know that there will be plenty more kisses to come, because if your childhood friendship with Satoru and the torch you still carried for him left you with anything, it was the knowledge that, to you, Satoru Gojo was worth the work if you could wake up to that gorgeous, smiling face every morning.

A/N: It’s kind of crazy to believe that it’s already the end of the year, and that this will probably be the last thing I write and post this year. I’ll release a longer post being all sappy over the new year later, but for now I just want to say that I’m so happy I found the motivation and excitement to return to this blog this year and branch out into so many fandoms, I’ve had so much fun writing and posting here and I look forward to continuing in 2024! Thank you all for reading this and any of my other works you’ve read this year, I’ve really appreciated the support and I hope I can continue posting good writing in the future :> 

Taglist: @ace-lavender

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[stxrshxpxd]

“that’s my girl!” part 4

masterlist

pairing: dr house x reader

word count: 1k

prompt: it seems house can’t go very long without getting his hands on the reader and she is starting to wonder what’s going on between them

“This looks like a mild case of mono to me,” I said with a warm smile to ease the worry of my patient. I dropped my hands from the swollen lymph nodes in his neck and pulled my rubber gloves off as I wheeled my chair away from him. I went to speak again but was interrupted by the door swinging open. I turned around quickly to find House leaning against the door frame.

“I need you,” he said.

“I’m busy.”

I turned back around to face my patient, but House refused to leave of course.

“Sore throat? Pulled muscle? Scraped knee?” he asked belittling.

“House.”

“I need you,” he echoed.

“You said.”

“Emergency consult.”

I took a deep breath which I sighed out, and decided to quickly finish up with my patient. I knew there was no consult but I also knew he wouldn’t ever back down.

“The symptoms should be going away on their own in a few weeks. Just make sure to get as much rest as you can and drink lots of water. But if you’re not getting better by the end of next week, don’t hesitate to call. Thank you for coming in. Now, excuse me, I have to assist Dr House here.”

At last House got what he wanted when I followed him out into the hall and walked with him.

“Are you asking patients to call you now? That’s a bit desperate. I didn’t think he would be your type.”

“You’re exhausting,” I breathed.

“See, I thought your type was a bit more intelligent and charming. Maybe with a limp-”

“You obviously don’t need me for a consult,” I cut him off, trying to get to the bottom of what he wanted from me, while I still walked with him down the hall.

“Now if I so obviously don’t need you for a consult, why did you follow me?”

“I would much rather just aimlessly walk with you than do my interesting, fulfilling job,” I said sarcastically.

“It’s funny how you’re using that silly tone while telling the truth,” House said and steered us to my right. I rolled my eyes excessively but couldn’t think of what to say. House smirked at me.

“My patient,” House began again and opened the door to the next exam room, back first. “25 year old female, bratty, hot for her boss and in denial. What would you say that is? Daddy issues?”

“I have actual patients waiting in the clinic,” I informed him and went to turn around but House caught my waist with his large hand and kept me from moving.

“I dare you to look me in the eye and tell me you don’t want my hands on you,” he muttered with a gleam in his eye and head tilted as he stared me down. My heart was beating hard and I flexed my jaw, staring back up at him. He took my lack of a response as a yes and pulled my waist towards him and into the room.

Next thing I knew I was backed against the closed door with House’s tongue exploring my mouth and his hands under my shirt. He cupped my breasts in his palms and I exhaled a soft moan, which was cut short by the three hard knocks near the back of my head. House breathed out a frustrated sigh and kept his forehead against mine and our lips just barely touching.

“Unless L/N’s got a runny nose, this is not a medical exam. Quit hogging the exam room and do your job, House,” Cuddy’s strong voice broke through the door and I chuckled at her putting all the blame on House. But he didn’t smile. He kissed me again. It was softer this time and it felt odd, me having been pulled out of that lustful surge by Cuddy’s knocking. When House pulled away again I blinked back at him a few times, trying to determine what was going on between us. That vulnerability I had felt radiating off of him the other day after sex was back.

“What is this?” I asked finally.

“Oh, here we go,” House responded with mock annoyance at my need for emotional clarity and rolled his eyes, building his walls up again. I laughed breathily.

“Falling in love isn't a weakness, you know,” I said to his back which had turned to face me now.

“Falling sounds like a weakness to me,” he joked back and I noticed he wasn’t denying the love part. But he was deflecting. I squinted my eyes at him as he turned back around.

“Fine. Write me a poem about rising into love and we’ll take it from there.”

I left House like how he had left me so many times before. With a witty end to our conversation, patting his chest and turning my heel without looking back. I thought I would feel on top of the world but I had to take a moment when I stepped out of the exam room and I listened closely to the silence from inside. I felt oddly guilty for my snarking at him, but I forced myself to walk on.

[writing-makes-me-human]

🌊Love And Guests: Part 5🌊

┍━━━━━»•» 🌺 «•«━┑

Pairing: Aonung x reader

PART ONE: HERE, PART TWO: HERE, PART THREE: HERE, PART FOUR: HERE PART SIX: HERE

Summary: The Sully’s arrival is a well welcomed change in your day to day life but it seems Neteyam is raising hackles on Aonung. After an embarrassing interaction you calm Aonung down in private.

Warnings: Smut, blow job, use of baby girl, breeding kink if you squint, and mention of riding face. mdni.

Word Count: 5.3k

A/N: This is the longest part so far so buckle up. I know a lot of you wanted the poly ending and I am sorry again to let you down but I hope you keep reading my series and accept my offer of one-shots in a few weeks. As always characters are 18 or 19

┕━»•» 🌺 «•«━━━━━┙

The arrival of the Sullys helped to create an excellent excuse for you to avoid Ronal for the rest of the day. While you walked around to help the older group of long-lost children move into a pod, you felt your heart soar as they cracked jokes and pointed fun at one another, much like they used to do when you were teenagers.

There was only one pod left unoccupied for use in the tribe, so they all begrudgingly, with many eye rolls and insults muttered in English, moved all of their supplies from their ikran to the thatched home.

As Aonung, Tsireya, and yourself helped transport their belongings to their new headquarters, you learned that after they left your clan, their parents had dragged them all over Pandora on hundreds of adventures. Still, now that they were adults, they had gotten a lot more responsibility, and Jake permitted them to come and visit their old childhood friends for a few weeks.

"So, what are you guys planning on doing here?" You asked as you set a rug on the floor with a thump and stood to the side to wait until everyone was ready to set back off to get more items.

They were welcomed to the clan with open arms by Tsireya upon arrival. Because the family had played a large part in saving her in the fight of three brothers years ago, neither the chief nor the Tsahik could find any reason to deny them a place to stay. This was a simple payment to an outstanding debt owed to them for the Sully's bravery those years ago.

"Relaxing, we are here to do nothing", Lo'ak quickly interjected before either of his siblings could speak, as if his words would magically cure the chaos that followed the family.

Neteyam chuckled as he folded a stack of blankets in the corner.

The sound made your stomach heat up, and you scorned yourself for it. Your mate of not even a day was standing to your right helping you move in your mutual friend to his accommodation, yet you were standing around getting flustered at the sound of Neteyam's laugh.

"Bro, don't even lie, the whole ride here, you were talking about Tsireya", Neteyam teased his brother while Lo'ak jumped over to him and smacked him over the head, which only made Neteyam laugh more.

Tsireya ducked her head into her hand as she busied herself with sorting through a satchel that was filled with cooking utensils. Even as she hid her face, you could still see her blushing with a girlish grin overtaking her lips.

"Oh yeah? Should I tell everyone who you were talking about on the way here?" Lo'ak shot back as he tried to run back to his spot, but Neteyam growled at him and yanked him back to punch his youngest brother in the face with an open palm, causing a shove from Lo'ak.

It was your turn to be bashful as you quickly turned around to gaze out at the ocean that could be seen through the door, purposefully ignoring Aonung's hateful glare that went from you over to Neteyam.

"You two need to learn manners", Kiri yelled out as she kicked out a mat that rolled open onto the floor of the pod in a beautiful display of brown and green colors.

"It's good to see you two haven't changed", Tsireya spoke up while she walked over to join you and Aonung by the door, giving you a playful shove to show that she was aware of who Neteyam had been talking about as if it was a big secret that nobody had worked out.

"Yeah, apart from the fact Neteyam is now as tall as dad and Lo'ak is officially the big mighty warrior, son of Toruk Makto!" Kiri teased them both as she shook her hands around to give a dramatic rendition of being frightened while her voice wavered theatrically.

Tsireya and Kiri both laughed, and Lo'ak and Neteyam responded to their playful energy, but you couldn't help the fact it felt like you had chugged an entire bottle of oil.

Every move Neteyam took was blasting in your mind. When you turned back around to watch them interact, you desperately tried to pull your eyes away from the boy and watch anyone else. Still, his fidgeting movements made every muscle tense, and it seemed to stick itself into you so profoundly that you wanted to bang your head on a wall until the picture of him was out.

You turned to Aonung. He was already looking at you with an irritated scowl on his face. He was your mate, and he felt that you were clearly trying to avoid telling Neteyam off for thinking about you, and it was starting to cause some serious jealousy issues.

When Neteyam had been with the clan the first time, Aonung watched on with great envy as you two grew closer and closer. He was sure that he had lost any chance with you thanks to the boy's incredible advances on you, but then he left.

After the battle, his family tried to make right with the clan and ultimately left once they realised the war wasn't over and they would be endangering everyone around them if they didn't hide again. It had broken you to watch Neteyam leave, and it had broken Tsireya to watch Lo'ak leave. Aonung would like to think the circumstances of the two relationships were different, but some of him knew you and Neteyam had unfinished history.

"Let's go get the last load", you yelled over the friendly bickering, trying not to let your face betray the shame you felt as you broke eye contact with Aonung.

The group all silently heeded your words and continued the conversation about what Tuk was getting up to these days as you and Aonung headed the group back to the ikrans for a final time.

You could feel Aonung's eyes on you the entire time before you finally gave in and rolled your eyes, trying to diffuse the apparent tension between you two.

"I know that look your giving Neteyam and me, we are only friends Aonung, you and I are mated, there is nothing to worry about", you gave a teasing bump of your shoulders together as you tried to convenience yourself of the same thing.

Neteyam was very handsome, and you were simply appreciating his beauty. The mated bond was meant to make feelings about the slightly older boy impossible, and in truth, you felt nothing but slight amazement that he had looked after himself so well, even while on the run from sky people.

"I do not like the way he looks at you", Aonung mumbled back as he felt the envious part of his personality, thought long gone, return to him.

You shook your head and took his hand in your own, giving it a squeeze of reassurance, and a smile fell on his face as he leaned over and gave you a peek on the cheek which made your entire body shiver with pleasure.

"Woah, woah, woah! When did that happen?" Lo'ak cried out behind you as the others looked down at your conjoined hands.

You spoke over your shoulder with a polite smile on your face as you felt Neteyam's eyes zone in on your hands and then on your face.

"Aonung and I were mated yesterday", you felt the words come out of your mouth, but your attention was focused entirely on trying not to cross Neteyam's look that you knew was either going to be surprised like the others or slightly heartbroken.

"You should have seen mother's face when she caught them this morning, they're lucky you got here when you did, she was about to rip into Aonung", Tsireya seemed to have found her place with the group quickly and was having the time of her life, she had never looked so happy and you knew it was because of Lo'ak's figure standing next to her.

Aonung didn't seem happy to let his sister punch down on him and scowled at her over his shoulder to let her know she would be paying for that comment later. Usually, it was him that was making fun of his sister but it seemed the new bitterness that the arrival of Neteyam had caused was clouding his mind and you felt yourself internally sigh as you caught a glimpse of the teenager Aonung used to be.

You all managed to get to the ikran in one piece and picked up everything that was left.

"Lo'ak, take them to the other side of the island", Neteyam ordered his brother to guide the flying creatures away as he picked up two large duffel bags you knew one of which traced back to their mother.

Lo'ak rolled his eyes but then a mischievous grin emerged on his face as he looked over to Tsierya.

"Wanna come? You can fly with me", Lo'ak's flirtatious advances probably wouldn't be stopped by a bullet and it made you laugh as you watched your female friend nervously nod and turn to give Kiri the two bags she was holding.

"Lo'ak..." Neteyam warned as his brother hopped onto the ikran's back and held out his hand for Tsireya to take which she did with a thrilled giggle.

"Don't worry we'll be back", Lo'ak called out as he took off before anyone could tell him it was a bad idea for the troublemaker to run off with the daughter of the chief so quickly after arriving and so soon after their son had already had a run in for an unmentioned mating.

The beast tore up into air with a cry as it roared down toward the other two ikran that gave each other a look with their beady eyes and then to their owners that gave no reaction, seemingly able to read their silent pleas the two other winged beings took towards the sky and followed Lo'ak and Tsireya.

"You have more control over them than ever", you marvelled at the magnificent creatures as they cast shadows over you with their wingspan.

"I don't think you're talking about my brother", Neteyam muttered as he walked over to Kiri and took the bags Tsireya had given her, and threw them over his shoulders, loading himself to the max.

You watched the braided pieces behind each ear clack as they were thrown against each other when he threw his hair over his shoulder in an attempt to get a better view.

Kiri woefully protested, but when her brother shook his head, she was more than happy to lead the four of you back to the home base, with Aonung choosing to stick by your side with an intense protective aura crowning him.

You all set off for the pod and quickly set everything down. Unbeknownst to you, you were about to pick up a hefty box to move it further into the room when Neteyam cut you off and ripped the package from your barely managed grip.

"No, no, It's okay, I've got it, don't worry your little head, pretty girl", he had clearly said it in a tease, a comedic statement on the fact that it was something Aonung called you when you were both younger but Aonung didn't seem to pick up on that.

"Don't call her that", Aonung growled from behind you. His body came closer to yours, and he let a defensive hand fall on your waist to reiterate that you were not available.

Neteyam's eyes rose in disbelief at Aonung's attitude, and his mouth opened and closed a few times in complete incredulity about what to say before his eyes fell on you.

"The bond is still fresh, just give him a while, and he'll be alright", you felt incredibly embarrassed but it wasn't because Aonung had done anything wrong. It was because you couldn't deny that Aonung's hand on your waist in such a secure hold as he growled with possessiveness was making your body react in ways it shouldn't have in front of your friends.

Neteyam nodded and held up his hands as if in mock surrender before he turned around and continued unpacking, trying to ignore the rigid turn the atmosphere had taken.

You turned to look at Aonung with a 'what was that' look, but in reply, he stared into your eyes with a stare that could only be called brutal. He didn't seem angry at you, but the hand on you clenched in a last silent order that you two needed to talk before he turned around and walked off without another word.

In silent contemplation, you sighed and reached to scratch the back of your head. Now that his body wasn't so close it was making your stomach do somersaults, you could finally have an original thought.

What was he doing? Neteyam had always delighted in teasing Aonung, and now that it was clear you were together, he simply just had better ammunition to get under Aonung's skin, but it seemed he was going a bit too deep.

"Trouble in paradise?" Kiri called as she finished with a bag of threads and walked over to comfort you.

"His mother doesn't approve, and I think it's really set him off", you explained as you gazed after him, watching him stalk off with his back turned until he disappeared.

"Ronal has always been defensive of her kids, give her some time to get used to it", Kiri offered you a side hug and rubbed your shoulder kindly.

You nodded and turned to continue to help unpack, talking as you did.

"I'm not so sure, I think she's made her mind up and wants me out of the picture", you handed Kiri an ornament you didn't quite know the use of, and she took it out of your hands with a shrug to set it up.

"Listen, I think it's best if you go talk to him, we can handle this", Kiri could tell that the issue was clearly bothering you, and she had no patience for dramatics, so the sooner you left and consoled your mate, the sooner she could start her few weeks of relaxing with you.

You nodded and turned to leave, but as you did, you brushed shoulders with Neteyam, and he stopped you with a hand on your shoulder.

"Hey, can I talk to you tonight?" He asked, his voice trying to remain friendly, but you could tell he was aching to talk to you like he did when you two were alone, and you nodded with a smile.

It had been years since you caught up and just talked about life, and you were eager to have that time with him again.

"Of course, can you still get to the rock, or is the great Neteyam too old for such folly?" You smiled politely at him and let your hand stab at his side, making him hiss.

"I'll be there well before you will be slow bones", he poked your shoulder with a nod before turning around and resuming the task at hand.

You waved goodbye and told Kiri you would speak to her more tomorrow before you set off for your pod, where you had a strange feeling Aonung was waiting for you.

--

You ripped open the flap, and sure enough, there your mate was, awkwardly trying to make use of himself by slicing some vegetables you had collected the week before on a board with a knife.

His ears downturned as soon as you entered the room, but he didn't look up. Instead, he placed the food he had already cut into a pot, returned to the board and kept up his work.

"I'm going to talk to Neteyam tonight, and you are going to apologize to him tomorrow", you felt angry that he didn't even bother to look up when he entered, so you quickly explained what would be happening.

He looked up, and his eyes peered at you before he placed the knife down and leaned back into a sitting posture with his knees tucked into his arms.

"Why should I apologize to that skxawng?" He muttered, holding your gaze for several seconds before you gave in and looked away.

"Because he is our friend Aonung, he supports us both, and you were rude to him! He doesn't have a mate yet, he doesn't understand what the bond does to you, and you've been more cruel than usual", you tried to lose the angered tone and moved forward to touch him, but he quickly stood up and moved to the other side of the room, towards the door.

"Oh yeah? Even though he just couldn't stop talking about you on the way here?" He growled as he sat down, trying to figure out what to do with himself.

It was clear he was jealous, and you two had put your very new bond under a lot of stress today, so it made sense that he was getting so worked up.

"I know, but that was only endearingly, you know how Lo'ak and Neteyam tease each other", you crouched down to your floor and approached him slowly as if he were an animal.

Aonung only watched you move toward him, choosing not to say anything.

You came just close enough that your fingers grazed over his knee, and the pressure of your skin being pressed against his made his mind reel in emotions of bliss and love.

You smiled as you saw his shoulders lower and release the tension they had been holding, he truly wasn't himself today, and neither were you. After a few days, your union would acclimate to your bodies, and you would fall back into a regular rhythm, but your bodies hormones only wanted to fit into one another.

Even the feeling of the slightest touch got both of your pupils blown out of proportion and your hearts aching for more.

Your fingers danced on his knee for a second before you moved the hand to rub his thigh gently, which he grunted out in appreciation for, letting his head hang back and crash into the side of your pod, which made you smile.

You felt the anger in you both melt and evaporate as you tutted and moved closer so you could inspect his thigh, causing his leg to twitch and his breath to stop.

You pushed his leg back and looked over the marking, it was slightly more tender than yesterday, and it showed his head had been more concerned about everything else than his own body that needed to be cared for.

You leaned down and pressed a kiss above the tattoo, taking a long time to bathe in the pathetic whimper Aonung let out as your lips touched so close to the area where he was starting to need you on.

"Seriously? You can't even go one day without me?" You chuckled, letting your hot breath tickle him.

He pushed his hands onto the ground and desperately tried to push himself up in a worthless attempt to try and regain some of his motor functions, he didn't want to do this right now with the chance of his mother tracking him down again, playing in his mind, but you looked so perfect.

"No, I'm fine!" He shook his head as if that would stop any of the blood that was rushing with full force to his cock.

You nodded with faux conviction and pulled back, letting the absence of your touch twist his brain inside out.

You gazed over him as you sat on the backs of your heels. How he looked at your body made you feel so beautiful and desirable that you wanted to reward him to ensure that he would always look at you like this.

"You don't look fine to me, pretty boy, that tattoo looks like it hurts", his face scrunched up at your words, and he went to stand up, but you leaped forward and pressed your hand against his pecs, loving the way his heart was racing underneath your hand.

"Let me kiss it better, if that's what you want?" You pushed him back to his previous position and unraveled from him, letting his need for you power his thoughts.

He wanted to shake his head and tell you he was okay because he was sick and tired of being the one begging for you, but his body overtook him, and a solemn nod shook his head up and down.

"Alright, but you have to be good to me, okay?" Your hands reached out and spread his legs apart so you could bunny-hop yourself in between his legs.

He could only watch as his entire body shook and trembled with the incurable need to feel your touch again swarmed his previous thoughts and feelings.

He shook his head violently up and down as you lowered your head to gently brush your lips over the inner part of his fibrous thighs that could have easily crushed your head if he closed them around you and squeezed.

You tried to move around freely but couldn't manage it with your hair in the way, so you sat up again and bundled your hair up before lowering yourself to above his crotch, which made his entire body tense.

"Hold this for me, baby?" You asked as you handed off your hair to him.

You took a second to delight in how he pulled your ponytail far above you so that you could see everything before you set off to kiss around the tattoo again.

Every kiss you planted made soft groans echo out of his mouth and bounce around the pod, making your stomach flutter. When you finished kissing and pulled back you didn't get very far before his thighs tightened around your shoulders and stopped you from moving any further.

You could feel everything around you freeze as your nose barely brushed against his loincloth that had a tent pitched beneath it.

"Aonung...let me go", you ordered, feeling slight irritation that he had stopped your flow of movements so suddenly.

You looked up and felt like the most blessed woman in the universe when you could only see his eyes looking over the pecs that blocked your view while his hair was once again out in small tufts as it did when he became sexually flustered.

"Let me fill your mouth up, pretty girl", the last time you two fucked, it seemed that when he got more aroused, the roles switched from his dominant side to his sweet submissive side, but now he had utterly polar opposites, the more his dick grew, the more demanding his body was.

"What makes you think I'll let you do that?" You dared to challenge his taking charge of the sexual encounter, which only turned him on more as his dick now stabbed your jaw with a twitch.

"Because if you do, I'll let you sit on my face", his words brightened up his face and you couldn't deny the butterflies that filled your chest as his words took your breath away.

"Yeah, you like that idea, huh?", He didn't waste any time reaching his hand to his hip and detaching the cloth he was wearing to pull it away from him.

You continued to stare into his eyes as his dick flew up from its confines and gently hit you in the cheek. You could feel your body salivating in more than one place as his words and actions sunk in.

He pulled you up by the hair that he was still holding and lined your mouth up with his crotch before he lost his grip and let you move at your own pace.

You hadn't even agreed to his terms, but his vocabulary alone had caused such a spark of need to feel his cum anywhere in your body that you obeyed.

Your lips suctioned around his tip and slowly slid down about two inches past the end so that you could tease the boy.

His hand in your hair tightened, and the burn of the strands pulling against your scalp furthered your eagerness as you sunk deeper into him. You paused for a second and moved up, but before you could remove your lips, his hips bucked into your mouth and caused you to gag and let out a burning cough at the feeling of his brute force digging into the back of your throat.

"M'sorry", was all he could mumble out, but you still decided to punish him, even if he hadn't done it on purpose.

You pulled off him entirely, and his eyes instantly opened, searching your face to make sure you weren't hurt, but your brow was creased, and you placed your hands on either side of his base to push down on his pelvis and hold him down.

"Do that again, and I'll make you do this yourself", your voice was stern, but Aonung's mind was clouded in lust, and all he could force his body to do was nod as his dick cried out for your hands to move upwards to his shaft.

"Words", you demanded, and you could feel his legs squirm behind you as his lust started to push past any boundaries he had.

"Yes", he could only reply in single words that satisfied you enough that you leaned backward. For a second, he thought it hadn't been enough, and he went to pull you back in by your hair, but you hovered over his stiff cock with your lips closed.

He waited to see what you were doing, and you didn't keep him waiting for very long as you gathered up a ball of spit in your mouth and slowly let the ball dribble from your mouth onto his dick, acting as a lubricant.

He was doing everything he could not to desperately start humping the air as you pulled back your lips and uncovered your tongue. You moved to the base of his cock and licked upwards, gathering the clear liquid you had spat on him and then letting your tongue flick a few times over his slit, which made a delicious moan escape him.

Precum began leaking from him, soaking over your tongue and letting the bitter taste soak into your taste buds.

You paused above his tip when you had cleaned as much of his precum and your spit off of him as you could, and then you lowered yourself against him once more.

He let out a chain of moans that warmed your chest, making you want to give him more pleasure, so you pushed down, as far as you could manage, which was a few inches above his base, and then you moved upwards, the aching pace was killing Aonung, and you could tell.

You moved up and down faster now that your throat started to burn less, and it was the most fantastic thing ever.

The mere fact that you were giving him pleasure was doing terrible things to your pussy, and even though it was begging for friction, the feeling of Aonung jerking himself into your mouth was much more commanding.

You worked his dick for a few seconds, and you could tell the pace you were going was killing him, so you pulled back off him and quickly started speaking before he began to beg you to go back down.

"You want to fuck my face all by yourself like a big boy?" Your words had him hypnotized, and it took him a second to fight against his dick that was edging closer to release.

"Yeah", his voice was innocent and entirely overwhelmed by your words, making you grin while a devilish thought played in your mind.

"Yeah, who?" You asked as your tongue fell out of your head and dared to draw a circle around the edge of his tip, which made him cry out.

"Yes, ma'am", he finally got out the angelic words you ached to hear from him, and you nodded for him to continue on his own with a smile as you retracted your hands from around him.

Immediately he brushed your hair over your shoulder so he could let one hand grab the back of your head while the other helped push your mouth down to his cock.

It felt so dirty to have him use you like you were only a hole to him. The feeling of his dick pushing itself to the back of your throat as he pushed himself into you made you cough and gag. Still, every time he went to slow down, you would let one of your hands rub his leg lovingly to reassure him that you were okay, and he would speed up his pace again.

The only sound that filled the tent now was your gagging, Aonung's grunts, and the wet squelch his dick made as it pounded into your mouth, which drooled all over his crotch.

Tears pricked your eyes, and you could feel snot gently dripping from your nose. Still, after about a minute of Aonung pounding into your mouth, his thrusts became less controlled, and he managed to find his voice as the moans and whimpers he let out could finally tone down as he fastly approached his climax.

"Fuck, you're taking me all in, beautiful girl, who owns this mouth, huh? Neteyam couldn't fuck your skull like this even if he wanted to, your ass is mine", he let his words spill from his brain with no filter as he continued to thrust as much as he could manage with his high coming closer and closer.

"You're beautiful, my gorgeous mate, fuck! You're so fucking stunning", he sang out praises to you as the hand that had guided you to his dick now came to rest on your neck and rubbed circles on your skin.

The change in word choice had you blushing, and before you could decide against it, you pushed him down by his thighs. At first, he thought you needed a break and was about to grant it to you if you couldn't take it anymore. Still, instead, you took a deep breath through your nose and hollowed out your cheeks, pushing your mouth deeper than you had gone the entire session, letting your lips close around his base, which made his fists pound on the floor as he fought for something to clench onto.

You felt the tip of his dick spasm at the back of your throat, and warm liquid spat itself down your mouth, making you choke a bit. You unintentionally spat the load over yourself as you tried to swallow it and pulled back in shame.

"I'm sorry, I thought I could do it", your hand was brought to your mouth as you tried desperately to wipe away the white seed that had begun dripping around your mouth.

Aonung was left breathless as he looked over your face that was coated in his seed. He would have to purposefully cum on your face next time because as you sat there, lips plump from sucking him dry with his jizz all over your mouth and cheeks, he could feel his dick grow twitch again as a second load leaped from his cock and sprayed your legs making his head finally hang back and his chest heave.

You were shocked at the surprised second load, but as you looked down at yourself, you felt your core ache in anguish that it hadn't been your pussy he had unloaded into.

He managed to raise his head for a second, and through gasps of air, he let out.

"Fucking come here and ride my face before I have to cum again", he was breathless, but at the same time, he was restless to taste you on his face.

You chuckled as you tried to wipe away the semen, but it failed as you only rubbed the sticky substance deeper into your skin.

"Can't we have a break?" You asked, even though the break was for his enjoyment rather than your own. Your core was clenching, and you could feel your clit begging you to grind on it.

He let out his tongue at your question, resting above his chin in a silent offering.

"Well then again, what are we, amateurs?" You hopelessly huffed out as Aonung adjusted himself so that he was on his back and you had enough room to comfortably sit down without hitting the wall.

"How about after this, I put a baby in you?" He asked hopefully as you clambered beside him, slightly embarrassed about where he wanted you.

"How about you focus on making me cum before you get ahead of yourself, pretty boy?"

:𝗧𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁:

@luvlykrispy @shootingstarforever-blog1  @neteyams-tsqhik, @azaleaniath, @ripneteyam, @lovergirl-3000, @lixiesbrowniess, @minkyungseokie @yeosxxx, @bxnnywriting, @dixonslvt, @tsamiaxo, @hellok1ttycake, @eywaheardyou, @bigmama12310-blog, @hisfuture , @imdeadlyboredhelp​, @melsunshine​, @bangtanxberm​, @naomeii​, @simp4ff​, @nothing2cheree​, @in-luvais​, @1-800-not-simping​, @nixxie15 

[lorelaisdiary]

↱ Content Warnings: female reader, lots of stress, mentions of verbally abusive parents, and mentions of sexual harassment in Dallas’s. ↰

↱ The Outsiders x Female! Reader Who’s Under a Lot of Stress and Breaks down Because of it ↰

↱ Summary: You overwork yourself with school, your job, helping others all the time and soon, that comes crashing down on you. ↰

↱ Characters that are present in this are Darry Curtis, Sodapop Curtis, Ponyboy Curtis, Johnny Cade, Steve Randle, Dallas Winston, and Two-bit Matthews. ↰

↱ Author’s note: I want to apologize for the not posting in a long while. I’ve been extremely busy as of late with school. I hope you understand:). I do hope to make all of the stories longer as I feel they are far too short as of right now. I also wanted to make Two-bit’s slightly lighter as I felt I had gotten a little too dark with Dally‘s. I hope you enjoyed reading and I will be trying to start a routine for my writing. I hope to start writing every week or every other week. Anyways, have an amazing day/night! And I hope that your weekend is amazing and you enjoy it! ↰

Darry Curtis:

You sobbed silently in the bathroom. Darry was in the room beside you and you didn’t want to bother him or make him feel bad for the things he did/didn’t do. You knew Darry would automatically blame himself for everything you were currently going through and you didn’t want that.

After a while, you felt your tears begin to dry but you sat still until you knew that the redness had left from your eyes. If Darry asked about your sniffling, you’d tell him that you were feeling sick. You didn’t want him to worry about such small things when he had his brothers and the gang to worry about.

You left the bathroom and went to lay down with Darry. The overwhelming stress seemed to spill out of your body once more as you felt tears build again. Darry lazily wrapped his arms around you and planted a kiss to the back of your head. You looked at the arms thrown around you and took a sharp breath in. You wouldn’t accept crying in front of Darry. He wouldn’t make fun of you but he would try to take responsibility for it. You didn’t need that on top of the stress you were getting from being a waitress and having creepy old men hit on you while also going to college.

Darry made sure you knew he was very proud of you but that didn’t stop the stress from slowly building within and expressing itself in unhealthy ways. You would stay out a little later with a friend or two drinking or you’d ditch college or your job for your mental health. Nothing seemed to matter to you anymore and your life goals disappeared within mere seconds. You were beginning to go back into the same slump you were in when you were in high school. You cringed at the thought but continued to lay completely still. You didn’t want to wake Darry with you being overly sensitive about life. That’s what you were crying over. Life.

Everyone experienced what you were currently going through. Why should it matter if you, a single person, was going through something that felt debilitating? Something that held you down and prevented you from completing college and doing good at your job. Finally, you let a few more tears fall. Once it started, it didn’t stop like before. More tears began falling and you laid in your boyfriend’s arms, silently sobbing.

Darry stirred beside you and tightened his arm around your waist. “Are you crying?” He muttered out and you immediately denied the claims he made.

“No, darling. Go back to sleep. You have work tomorrow.” You wrapped you arms around Darry’s that rested against your stomach. Your back was pressed tightly against him and he kissed the top of your head gently.

“I know you are. Why don’t you tell me when you need help? I don’t care if it’s money or physical or emotional. Tell me next time.” He muttered out in that groggy voice of his and you simply nodded your head. You brought Darry’s arms up and you began to sob a little louder, feeling slightly more comforted by the fact that your burly boyfriend was behind you. You knew he wouldn’t let anything happen to you.

“I’m sorry. You have to take care of your two kid brothers and you don’t need me being whiny because I can’t control my emotions.” You whispered out as you laid in place once more. You didn’t dare move.

“I’m here for you though because I’m yours. If you wanna cry, go right on ahead. I’m not stopping you but I also ain’t goin’ to let you cry by yourself.” Darry left his arms in the position you had put them, instead intertwining your legs together.

Sodapop Curtis:

You helped Maryann with the math problem she was working on. She was growing visibly frustrated and had been making snide remarks to you. You thought about getting up and leaving but you promised you would help her so you didn’t. Maryann looked up at you after you had mentioned she done something wrong, “How come you can point out my fucking mistakes but can’t point out your own?” That usually wouldn’t bother you mostly because you just weren’t bothered but you finally looked back at Maryann with tears filling your eyes.

“Don’t come ask me for help again. Maybe Ponyboy would be a better option or a stranger. I don’t care but don’t ask me again.” You stood from the chair and began walking away. Within a matter of minutes, Jane came running towards you.

“Can you help me? I lost my purse.” So, you spent the next thirty minutes of your life helping her look for her purse. You couldn’t leave a friend in need alone to find something. “Thank you, R/n.” Her words were spoken too late as you had already left to find Soda. Today had been a horrible day for you and it went far past the two previous events. Early that morning, you’d received a call saying that you needed to work an earlier shift as Ruth had left with little to no explanation. You had gone in and then the rest of your coworkers had left. That may not seem like much to others but to you, it was more than just people being lazy. You were always the one who got the most work thrown onto her shoulders. God forbid you tried to politely decline helping someone. The guilt of other people’s expectations would crush you. The DX was nearing in the distance and you sped up, hoping to catch Soda and Steve. They’d know how to make your day better.

You managed to open the door of the store without anyone asking you for something. Soda smiled and perked up as you walked into the store. “Soda, is your shift almost over?” Soda jumped over the counter with a grin and nodded while fixing his hat lazily.

“Good. Come on.” You grabbed his wrist and began pulling him away from the store. The two of you arrived at your house which was only because you didn’t want his brothers or friends to bother you for the time being. Without another word, you pushed him onto the couch and threw yourself down beside him. “I can’t do this anymore! Why does everyone come to me without even saying a simple ‘thank you’? Only Jane does it and maybe Ponyboy but no one else says it when they should. I’ve helped everyone in this godforsaken town out and not a damn one seems grateful.” You couldn’t register the words before allowing them to spew out, which led to your current situation. You were fearful that you hurt Soda’s feelings as you cared deeply for him and didn’t want him to feel hurt or unloved because you were in a bad mood. “I’m sorry. I took you away from a job that you NEED and then fussed about my life. I’m sorry.” You apologized multiple times and tried to make up for the attitude you had.

Soda laughed it off though and gave you a pat on your shoulder. “It’s fine, sweetheart. You wanna talk about it some more?” You leaned against him and let out an ugly sob. You hugged him tightly and tightened your grip on him. Sniffles left you just as rapidly as your tears wet Soda’s shirt.

“I don’t know.” You whispered out as you continued to sob loudly. Soda kept his arms wrapped tightly around you, refusing to let go until you dried your tears. It took a while, but Soda sat with you until you were done crying.

Ponyboy Curtis:

Your parents were still arguing, mostly about your grades and anything else they could think of that you’d done wrong. You had failed biology with a D but you didn’t think it was that bad. All your other grades were amazing. You laid limply in the bed without many thoughts going through your head other than your failures. All of the things you could’ve done differently to fix the issue before it became an issue. You got out of bed and locked your door. The phone in the corner of your room called to you as the urge to phone Ponyboy appeared.

You soon gave into the urge, picking the f/c phone up. You dialed his number almost immediately and lifted the phone up to your ear, patiently waiting. When you finally received an answer, it was Soda’s voice. “Hey, can you tell Ponyboy that he’s needed?” You murmured softly into the phone. You didn’t want your parents to walk by and accidentally overhear you planning your nighttime escape.

“Uh yeah. Hold for just a second.” Soda began yelling for the youngest Curtis. You waited until the phone was passed and began talking almost instantly.

“Pony, come get me. I just need to be with someone right now. I can’t stay here though. Please come get me.” You hated begging but knew that he would come get you if you begged. Hell, he most likely would’ve instantly came if you mentioned you needed help picking an empty box up.

You heard Ponyboy began shifting around before he mumbled out an ‘ok.’ You put the phone back on the receiver and made your way over to your window. You unlocked and opened it. Fortunately for you, you moved your room from the top floor to the bottom floor. You said it was because you didn’t like looking out the window and seeing the few feet off the ground but in reality, it was because you wanted to sneak out to see the gang.

You sat on the window sill until you seen Ponyboy and Johnny walking in the distance. You hopped out and closed your window almost completely, leaving only a gap the size of your hand so you could push it up. You ran towards the two boys, jumping on your lover as soon as you were close enough. You shoved your face into his jacket and kept it there for a while. He didn’t seem to mind as he rubbed your back and comforted you the best he could.

You weren’t crying because you hated crying in front of others. You had managed to hold your tears back until that point though. Once you heard Johnny walk away, presumably to smoke, you began to cry softly. Ponyboy seemed taken aback by it but continued to rub your back softly. He began walking away from your house. “Won’t Johnny be left here alone?” You whispered out in between the heavy breathes and quiet whimpers.

“He’ll be fine. He was heading back to the house. It’s the middle of December. It’s freezing out here.” Ponyboy muttered out to you as you began quietly laughing.

“I like this more than the heat though. Thank you for coming to get me.” Tears were still falling but not nearly as much as they were before.

“You’re welcome.” He muttered back out into your hair as the two of you whispered to each other until you got back to his house. Johnny and the rest of the boys were in the living room. It seemed none of them wanted to go back to their respective homes just yet. Soda let out a sigh when he seen the two of you walk in.

“Y’all want the room, don’t you?” He grumbled out as you nodded.

“We can go to that diner up the road.” You watched Steve talk with his mouth open and chocolate cake still in it.

Ponyboy slipped past all of them and took you to his and Soda’s shared room. He laid you on the bed before climbing in beside you. Your tears had long since dried but you looked over at him. “My parents were arguing about me again. Talking about my grades and all. I don’t care though. I tried and now, I don’t care.” You pushed yourself further into him and closed your eyes.

“I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?” He questioned as he kissed your cheek gently.

“Just stay by me for a little bit.” You whispered back out as you curled closely to him, falling asleep and feeling better about the situation.

Johnny Cade:

You reread the notes you had scribbled messily into your notebook. Something was really starting to get to you. You couldn’t name it but the feeling in the pit of your stomach was making you antsy. You closed your notebooks when that feeling began showing itself as sadness.

Tears built up within your eyes and you pushed yourself away from the table you were sitting at. You felt the tears continue to grow rapidly and stood up. You couldn’t stay in the library while crying. You gathered your notebooks all together and ran out of the building as silently as possible. You decided to head down to Johnny’s “home.”

It was dirty but you knew that it was the only home Johnny had. He had the Curtis household along with yours to go to whenever he needed but he hated going to y’all. You were quite the opposite. You liked to go to him with your problems. It made you feel better. Though, you didn’t always go to him. You noticed Johnny wasn’t hanging around out there so you laid down on the fluffiest part of grass you could find. You knew Johnny was most likely in the Curtis household.

You put your arms under your head for a little while and waited patiently to hear Johnny or any of the boys. You finally heard Johnny and Ponyboy. You looked up at the two and put your head back down lazily. “Hey.” You gave a short wave with the hand that wasn’t laying under your head. You finally sat up and looked up at the two of them with little to no emotion showing on your face.

“Are you okay?” Johnny sat down beside you and shooed his best friend away for a second. Ponyboy walked away from the two of you while you just sat there.

“Fine.” You sniffled quietly. You weren’t full on crying. You were just… doing the opposite of crying.

“You sure don’t sound it.” Johnny laid himself down beside you. He let one of his arms wrap around you and you slowly turned over before you started to cry into his denim jacket. You were still almost silent.

“I’m tired.” You covered your own face, slightly embarrassed to be crying like a child in front of Johnny. You reminded yourself that he’s seen you in almost everyone predicament possible. Including the one where you tried to wax.

The more you thought about those funny moments with him, the more you slowly stopped crying. “No, I’m being serious. I feel overworked…? I feel so exhausted, too.” You finally admitted, openly and without shame. Johnny just let a hand run messily through your hair. He pulled you closer.

“Why don’t you take a nap? Pony won’t care if we sleep for a bit.” Johnny whispered out as he pulled you closer. You leaned against him with only your sniffles agreeing to his words.

You weren’t real big on talking after crying as you knew it would make your voice hoarser than ever. You let out a weak cough once your throat began experiencing an itchy sensation at the base. With one final sigh, you slowly fell asleep beside Johnny.

Steve Randle:

You ate another chip. Another minute passed. Tears stained your cheeks. Your throat was hurting from all the screaming you had previously done. The argument was stuck in your head. Steve was silently sitting beside you. He wasn’t even bothered with eating chocolate cake. He was simply sitting beside you. “He got real mean towards me. I couldn’t do anything.” You covered your face blindly. Tears started to fall once more.

You curled up towards yourself. Your knees came close to hitting your chest but they didn’t. “I can’t do nothing about it but, why don’t you take a nap?” Steve tried to comfort as best as he could.

“I don’t want to. I just want to cry.” You laid down on the couch you were on. The two of you were at your apartment. You had gotten it through a long drawn out process that included lots of lies. You weren’t to keen on going into it.

You grabbed another chip and ate it with a sigh. You finally let out a cough when the chip went down wrong. You covered your mouth as Steve stared at you. You didn’t want him or anyone else staring at you while you sobbed your heart out.

You moved from your curled up spot and slipped off of the couch the two of you were sitting on. You walked into the bathroom and covered your face. You were embarrassed and were now tired after sobbing for so long. The bathroom door opened and Steve finally let out a sigh. “Is there anythin’ I can do to make it easier, darlin’?” Steve let one of his hands fall on your back. You slowly turned to face him before you threw yourself into his arms. Your world felt like it was falling apart so easily.

“I just want to stay here with you.” You continued sobbing before Steve kissed your head.

“I’ll stay here for as long as you need me to.”

Dallas Winston:

You knew Dally wasn’t good with emotions and tried avoiding the conversation with him. You had almost succeeded in him not realizing you were hurt and in pain. It wasn’t physical this time, no, it was only mental pain. Dally wouldn’t be able to understand where you were coming from and would automatically tell you to stop whining and fix the issue. You crossed your arms over your chest as your boyfriend sat on the bed in front of you.

“Dally, I’ve been struggling lately. I’ve been in pain and I’m so hurt and I can’t figure it out and I know you’re going to tell me to stop whining and all. But, it still hurts.” You let out a choked sob and finally climbed into the bed and closed your eyes. Your tears started to fall down your face. It was very unfortunate for you.

Dally let out a sigh from behind you and laid down to wrap his arms around you. “I can’t say I understand what’s happening but, I do know that you’ll survive. You always do.” You cried a little harder into your pillow as you listened to Dallas give his own words of strength you assumed that made him feel better when someone told him that so you accepted his weird love for you.

“I know, Dally. You don’t understand. My boss won’t leave me alone. I’m being harassed at work by boys who keep pulling on my skirts and won’t leave them alone long enough for me to move on to the next customer without having to fix my skirt.” You shoved your face fully into the pillow and felt Dally wrap his hand around your own.

“What if I drop by tomorrow? With Johnny and Pony.” Dally pulled you against his body so that your back rested against his chest comfortably.

“That would be amazing if it meant that you would keep them away. They won’t leave me alone and my boss refuses to keep them away from me.” Dally finally planted a kiss on your neck before he let you grab his arms and move him however you want. He didn’t want to voice his opinion or anything as he knew that would make you distance yourself further from him.

He silently held you for as long as you wanted and needed. He wouldn’t ever say anything aloud but he knew that you understood his physical gestures.

You were comfortable with his gestures as your emotions slowly calmed down. You curled around him and finally the two of you fell asleep with a specific calmness that you two only got with each other.

Two-Bit Matthews:

He was drinking and watching Mickey Mouse again. You were wiping tears away while also laughing at what was happening in front of you. Two-bit was full on drunk and was arguing with you. “You’re not my girlfriend.” He frowned as he swatted at you once more. You let out a gasp when his hand made contact with your thigh.

“I am your girlfriend, Two.” You crossed your arms over your chest and let out a sigh. Two looked up at your face and finally let out a sigh.

“No, I don’t see it. R/n is my girl. Not you.” Two’s head laid back on the couch as his eyes closed.

Earlier in the day, you had almost fist fought your mom over Two. So, you were now trying to cuddle with your drunk boyfriend.

“I’m not playing. Just let me cuddle with you.” You tried to hug him one last time before he scoffed and pushed you away. You sat down on the couch and you finally closed your eyes and let yourself drift off into a dreamless sleep.

* * * *

Two shook you and you sat up with a gasp. “Do you remember what happened last night?” Was the first question that left your mouth.

Two shook his head slowly. “No, I don’t.” He rubbed the back of his neck as you started laughing.

“You told me I wasn’t your girlfriend when I needed comfort.” You wrapped your arms around him before pouting slowly. Finally, Two realized what you said.

“What happened?” Two-bit sat beside you on the couch and pulled you into his lap.

“Don’t worry about it. I was just joking with you.” You weren’t but, you didn’t want him to worry so much about you. He cared for you so much that if you wanted, he would probably cook and clean for you.

You kissed him and the two of you sat there for a while, understanding that you both were okay so long as you were together.

[priceyprice]

Part 1 , Part 2

"Ghost, 'you there?"

Price said as he opened the door of Ghost's room, not finding surprising that his lieutenant was there instead in his house.

Ghost, who was sitting in a chair with his back facing the door, didn't even move at his captain voice calling him.

The older man sighed when his eyes landed on the glass of whiskey that he was holding. He entered, closing the door quietly. The room was only illuminated with just a dim light, giving the quiet man a more intimidating aura. If Price didn't know him, it would cause him a little surprise(not intimidation since Price has seen worse things than a guy with a skull mask).

He sat on his bed with his hands on his knees in front of Ghost, who hadn't taken his eyes off something he was holding.

"How much longer are you going to stay here? Do you know you have a home waitin' for ya'?"

Ghost finally stopped looking at the thing he had in his hand to look at his captain, who was with his brows furrowed but not in an angry expression.

" 'don't have a home."

My home was taken away the moment she went MIA.

His breathing began to grow more paused. That awful and familiar heavy feeling rose up from his chest through all his body. His fingers slowly put more pressure on his glass. The mask was down, he served himself a glass of whiskey to try and swallow that bitter sensation he always have when he thinks about her, but that didn't worked and caused him to lose interest in drinking that night.

Price just looked at him, not that look he always gives as a soldier, but as a friend that's worried about him. "Look, Simon. I know you want her back. Believe me, everyone wants her back. The team hasn't been the same since she left, but you can't let your emotions win the best of you. She wouldn't like you to be here drinking and swallowing your sorrow while having a home waiting for ya'."

Simon's eyes dropped to the petal he was holding in his hand. So soft and delicate, just like her eyes, her body, and her soul. He found it when he was taking a little stroll on his backyard, noticing the little red petal beside the flower he always looked at every day.

That was her flower.

She loved that flower so much. The instant she went MIA, he took responsibility for it. He would talk to it every day, as if the red flower would give him answers and tell him where she is.

His heart dropped when he saw the petal on the floor as a signal of losing hope.

A signal that he will never find her.

A signal that she will never return to him.

Ghost sighed. A shaky sigh. His world threatening to fall at any moment. The pillars that supported the last bit of sanity in his mind have started to grow cracks at the bases.

"Earlier today..." Ghost paused, trying to formulate his words. "I went to one of the old warehouses of the guy that kidnapped her owns. As I was searching for something that could lead me to her, I killed a few guys who worked for him. I also tortured two, but neither of them fucking knows a woman from the military in hands of that motherfucker."

Price sucked a breath as he hears those words, his pulse raising at an abnormal speed. Ghost didn't notify him that he was going to do something so dangerous without permission of his superiors.

That could cost the Captain's and the Lieutenant's job right there and then.

Instead of yelling or telling him that he's suspended for a least a month because of his reckless actions, Price just closed his eyes for a few seconds before he took the bottle of whiskey that was on the lieutenant's nightstand and drank a big shot of it.

Fuck, that's going to be a lot of paperwork for his ass.

Ghost passed his thumb over the petal, so lightly, afraid of breaking the little thing. It was almost as if somehow that red petal has some connection with her, and she can feel it.

He sighed again.

He missed her so much.

Price cleared his throat. His grip on the bottle tightened. "What did you do with the bodies?"

"I burned them."

Price just dropped his head low, probably thinking of his life choices before he took another sip from the bottle with those words. This time, he didn't stop drinking, trying to vanish with alcohol all the consequences and thoughts that were passing through his mind.

Ghost wasn't worried about the consequences or anything that came with his actions. When they took her away from him, a part of Simon died that day, only to be replaced with a void that would not go away until she's back. So, he gave those guys their destiny.

They are all gonna burn in hell.

And he will make sure of it.

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :

Masterlist here

I apologize for some grammatical errors. Any suggestions are welcomed. 🫶🏻

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: Ash Walker: Part 1

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)

“Now that we’re all here it’s time I tell you what the job is.”

Hemlock kicked the holographic table and it buzzed into life, the projection lighting up the room in a soft blue glow. Six pairs of eyes turned to look at the projection as Hemlock pointed to the slowly turning image of a world.

“This is Thescara III-“ he began before being immediately cut off.

“Frak this shit.” One of the onlookers declared. “I’m not sitting one foot on that cursed world. You drop me off on the nearest barren moon.”

“What’s wrong with Thescara III?” another onlooker asked.

Septh looked at Hemlock and scoffed. “No wonder you wanted a new crew of fresh pups, for no seasoned salvager would join up with you.”

“You going to answer my question old man, or are you just keep ignoring me?”

Septh looked at the Fling then back at Hemlock with a hard stare. Hemlock paused and took a look around the room at his new crew. There was the Theosian called Tug standing in the back. He wore his ceremonial metal armor that was crafted to his flesh upon birth and was the muscle of the group.

The Guppin Fling was sitting in front of Tug with all four of his legs crossed. They were the youngest of the group and were it not for his hacking skills he’d not be here at all. Hemlock saw a lot of himself in the Guppin but was worried his enthusiasm would make him careless.

Opposite them were the triplets Nok, Uma, and Rue. None of them were particularly good with any skillset, but Hemlock needed the extra hands for lugging things and they came cheap. In truth he still didn't know which was which so he’d just shout a name and tell them to do something.

Last was Septh; the only one he’d used for multiple jobs. He was an old hand at the salvage game and was understandably not happy about being kept in the dark until the last moment.

“Thescara III was originally a human world until their war with the Jen. Rather than engage the humans on the surface where they knew the humans had the advantage they dropped a couple thousand low yield nuclear bombs across the entire surface reducing it to perpetual nuclear winter.”

“Cowards.”

Hemlock turned to see Tug adjusting himself against the wall and send a small tremor through the decking before spitting a gob of something black on to the floor and continued talking.

“True warriors face their foes face to face; not through the lens of a computer monitor.”

“If you knew what humans can do with a sharpened stick you might think twice.”

The triplets snickered at this but went silent when Tug shot them a sidelong glance.

“None of this matters, save for the fact there is over seven million credits locked away in the capital branch bank of Universal Credit that is just sitting there waiting to be nabbed.”

The mention of loot drew everyone’s attention. That many credits were enough to buy decent chunk of a moon, or live a life of luxury on a paradise world for seven lifetimes.

 “It’s just been sitting there; this entire time?” one of the triplets asked. “How do we know the credits are still there?”

Gods they even sound the same, Hemlock thought.

“’The planet has been an ecological nightmare ever since the bombs went off. You can only stay on the surface for a short period of time before the radiation levels kill you. Couple that with the vault’s combination randomly rotating itself every hour it’s made it impossible to crack it before the radiation bakes you.”

“If that’s true then what chance do we have?” Septh interrupted.

In response Hemlock reached into his pocket and pulled out a gold disc.

“Because we aren’t going to need to crack the vault with this little ticket here.” Hemlock smiled. “As this little dingy is a corporate level security key, which can open any UC vault automatically.”

The triplets and Fling whistled in amazement, and with good reason. Those types of security keys were only given to executive level personnel and the loss of one would trigger an immediate reaction force to retrieve it.

“Do I want to know how you got that?” Septh asked.

Hemlock shrugged. “I’m borrowing it from a certain partner who will remain nameless for now.”

He pointed back to the hologram and grinned. “Now, time to plan our payday.” ---------------------------

Parting through the dense cloud coverage, Hemlock kept a constant eye on the retro rockets to match the ever changing wind patterns. He had flown through hurricanes and gale force winds that could cleave metal like paper, yet Thescara III was proving to be an entirely different beast.

Not only was the planet covered in a near perpetual cloud cover that dispensed ash but the sheer amount of nuclear bombs that had been dropped had also changed the planet’s equilibrium. Wind direction changed in intensity and direction by the minute, air pockets were abound like it was a minefield, and that wasn’t even getting into the random lightning strikes that could short out the entire ship if one struck home.

“I told you this planet was-“ Septh began before another air pocket the ship and the ship dropped suddenly.

Hemlock grinned at his good fortune and once more adjusted a series of dials. It took a few moments to pass through the last bit of turbulence and finally get below the cloud cover.

“Welcome to Thescara III everyone.” Hemlock said as the planet’s surface finally came into view.

As far as his eyes could see the entire planet was covered in layer upon layer of grey ash. Spires of city skyscrapers loomed up out of the ground like the skeleton fingers of gods, their shadows casting long across the ruins of a dead city.

After a few moments of circling Hemlock found the ideal landing site and brought the ship down. From the city records he was able to obtain the opening was once a large park at the heart of the capital city and only a few city blocks away from their target.

With a loud thud the support legs touched down on the surface and the engines began slowly powering down. Hemlock was already unbuckling harness and making for the cargo hold. Septh was in lock step behind him as the pair entered the hold to find the rest of the crew already suiting up.

Tug still had his armor on but had donned an atmospheric helmet. Hemlock could see the faint green glow of targeting feeds displaying on the inside of the helmet as the warrior performed basic systems checks. The triplets were gathering around hauler making final checks. They wore standard atmospheric suits with different colors for distinction as they circled the hauler. It was an anti-grav model with several large cases stacked on the back which the crew would fill with credits.

Hemlock was crazy enough to take this risk but not stupid enough to think he or his crew could haul seven million credits back without transport so the triplets were to be glued to the thing the entire time.

Fling was the last of the group off to the side that Hemlock found. He was struggling to attach the gloves of his suit when he approached and helped him.

“So if we have a key to the vault,” Fling began as he nodded thanks to Hemlock for the glove assist, “why exactly do you need me?”

“If the key fails you’re the contingency.” Hemlock said plainly. “I always hedge my bets, and I always have a plan B.”

Fling smirked. “I don’t know if I should be flattered or insulted for being plan A.”

Hemlock didn’t reply as he finished checking the rest of Fling’s suit and stepping back as Septh approached. He casually flung a spare helmet to Hemlock who caught it midair and donned it with ease.

“Listen up everyone,” he began as he spoke over the shared com network, “we have three hours to get in and out before the next radiation wave sweeps through here.”

Slapping the release button on the side of the hull sirens began blaring and the boarding ramp slowly cracked open and lowered down to the surface. A fresh blizzard of ash slowly began sweeping into the hold as the crew hopped onboard the hauler.

“Keep in coms range, keep an eye on your radiation meters, and for frak’s sake do not go wandering off.” Hemlock broke off checking on his crew to look down the boarding ramp as it fully opened. “This is not a world you want to be alone on.”

With his instructions delivered he slapped the top of the hauler’s cab and the triplets drove the vehicle forward. No sooner had the hauler reached the bottom of the ramp did Hemlock realize something was wrong.

“Is that what I think it is?”

Hemlock turned to see Fling looking off to the left of the boarding ramp and followed his gaze. His eyes went wide as he saw the outline of a Nebula B class freighter parked right next to his ship.

From the cockpit he had assumed it was another mound of ash, but now looking up at it from the ground he could see the underside of the ship clear as day. It’s boarding ramp was likewise lowered but now was coated in several layers of ash.

“Competition?” Tug asked as he hefted his power rifle. Septh shook his head in response as his eyes went over the freighter.

“This thing’s been here a while now.” He answered. Tug looked at him then back at the silent freighter. “How can you tell?” he asked.

“Nebula B’s are notorious for their engines never fully shutting down and always making a low rumbling sound.” Septh said as he put a hand to his ear. “For it to be silent it must have burned through its fuel reserves, and those can last about two-three years.”

“That’s not the half of it.”

Hemlock turned to see Tug nodding in the opposite direction to see a row of other spaceships lining alongside theirs like a giant parking lot.

“What the hell is this…” One of the triplets said from the hauler cabin. “Where are all their crews? Why’d they leave their ships out like this?”

“It’s-“ Septh began but Hemlock cut him off.

“Shut it.” Hemlock barked. He pointed down the road lined with ash covered vehicles. “We’ve got three hours and we don’t have time to waste!”

The crew looked amongst themselves before the hauler lurched forward again.

[cherries-in-wine]

I love ur posts on lolita the book- what are ur thoughts on the movies?

aw tysm anon mwah <3

(Made a few edits because my perspective changed a little)

I don't really like the movies- in fact comparing them to the masterpiece that Vladimir Nabokov wrote feels like an insult. Sometimes art can only exist in a certain medium and when you take it out of that medium it loses its integrity. Lolita is art that can only exist as literature. This is what I used to believe but to be honest even as literature it's being misunderstood a lot so it feels as if no matter what medium lolita exists in, it'll always be interpreted wrong.

It took Vladimir Nabokov 5 years to write lolita because writing from the perspective of a pedophile is tough- it's using the abuser to tell the victim's story but in this case the abuser is our unreliable narrator, he had to make Humbert Humbert charming or at least intriguing in a fucked up way enough that the reader would be compelled to read further (lolita will disturb you but you won't able to put it down) but any competent reader would will be able to figure out that Humbert Humbert is just spewing his delusional bullshit.

It feels as if Vladimir Nabokov predicted the romanticization of Lolita as soon as we started putting girls on the book covers- he intended on lolita being faceless

So much of what makes the book incredible lies in reading in between the lines to figure out what's actual going on. Think of it as Humbert Humbert is forcing his heart shaped rose coloured glasses onto you like "see it's a beautiful tragic love story" and it's your responsibility to take them off to see things as they are, a 12 year old child being abused constantly.

Unreliable narrators in general are hard to portray on screen (it's not impossible ofcourse, gone girl, 500 days of summer and black swan do it really well) but extra difficult in this case because lolita and Dolores are 2 different people entirely. Lolita is the persona, Dolores is the person. Lolita is the nymphet, the seductress that only exists in Humbert's twisted mind, Dolores is the 12 year old child. Humbert sees lolita, he wants you to see lolita, but you need to focus on Dolores.

Lolita 1962 was laughably inaccurate, they made Dolores look like an elegant woman when even Humbert Humbert describes her as a messy tomboy. Lolita 1997 is better I guess, it follows the book a little more accurately. The movie is definitely pretty to look at and I don't have a problem with Dolores being an icon or people taking fashion inspiration from her. In my opinion she is an icon, it isn't fair to reduce a victim's identity to their trauma and abuser. Also she's so funny and is constantly insulting Humbert so mwah love her so much plus I relate to her a lot as I went through similar things. I think some scenes of Humbert Humbert being an unreliable narrator were translated really well, for example this argument-

Humbert gave a short description while the movie is more of lo's point of view, it's all screaming and shouting and absolutely devastating, Dominique Swain did an amazing job.

Both of the actresses were 14 during filming and that's just so unsettling to me. Sure you're using a body double for explicit scenes but isn't that just content for actual pedophiles, the closest thing to CP that's legal?. There are many older actresses that look younger but honestly that scares me more, because now there are no restrictions to the scenes they can film, which usually ends up underage characters in extremely exploitative scenes (think euphoria).

My feelings are sort of all over the place on this, I simply can't reach a satisfying conclusion- I don't think it's impossible to adapt lolita into a good film, black swan is one of my favourite movies ever and nina sayers is as unrealiable as a narrator gets, so it's not impossible to portray Humbert Humbert on screen but it will be difficult. On the other hand I just know that people will find some way to romanticize the movie- no matter how well it's written like in the novel it's so obvious Humbert is a pedophile that he might as well get it tattoed on his head but people still think of it as "aw tragic beautiful love story". But part of me thinks that if they write it kind of like gone girl, you believe nick is the murderer in the first half then amy's scheming is revealed in the second, just like that if lolita is shown in the first half but after dolores runs away her perspective is shown to audience, how she's so miserable and gives an accurate depiction of Humbert Humbert's abuse, maybe showing that horrifying reality of the story will end it's romanticization once and for all.