#This goes to everyone: It is not selfish to take care of yourself

[shyspider]

I appreciate it, but I like reading your writing. I just need to work up to read *spicy* chapters. Which, because I haven't read in a while and haven't been 100% myself, I can't currently do, unfortunately 😔

Plus, my memory is shot enough that I am gonna end up rereading both books so I can tell clearly what's going on, lol. I do love authors like you who make the *spice* optional, and I do tend to take that option quite often, but I will readily admit its typically with far more /human/ characters that I do so with. History and all that, lol.

It's just been a really funky time, and a more physically taxing job is making my poor immune system laugh maniacally. With how companies tend to ask that you essentially work yourself to death, I have been making poor decisions. As in, continuing to go in to work, despite the fact that I am immediately going to bed sick every time I get home. I got sent home today because being too dizzy to stand properly still, whilst simultaneously having absolutely zero thermoregulation, is not good when working in a warehouse. Sorry for dumping in your inbox, same as when I am too excited, I am currently lacking social awareness of if this is appropriate or not.

Having said that, sorry again for just dumping all this on you, I am so far out kf it that I really don't even know if I am properly awake or not.

~Smooch

Social awareness be damned. I may overstep here, but I'll regret it more if I don't share with you something personal about me. What you said is a little triggering, because I nearly worked myself to death for a company that didn't care about my health. It sounds like you're burning out, if not already burnt out. Not trying to diagnose anything, but what you're saying sounds very familiar.

I'm going to ramble under the cut. Let's dump on each other, together.

It sounds crazy, but most of what you've said sounds like what I went through with my last job. It burned me out to where I was a completely different person. I lost interest in the things that made me happy and I stopped caring about my health. I had chronic ocular migraines, constant stomach pains, and I hated myself. I was not in a good mental space. I was burnt out.

No one gave me the help I needed or told me what to look for, or what was available to me. No one told me about FMLA, or medical leave, or mental health leave. No one told me about health programs to help my autoimmune disorder, or what a toxic work environment was. I didn't know buzzwords like 'harassment' and a 'hostile workplace'. I'd call off, but no one would cover my work, give me shit for being sick all the time, and I never wanted to kick up a fuss because I didn't think I could. I'd sob in my car, both heading to work and leaving. There were so many things I should've done. I had to quit, because it was either my life or my job. I was lucky I had some people to financially help me in between.

This may not be the same for you, but what does sound similar is that you're not thinking of yourself, first. I've made poor decisions and all those choices led up to letting myself get bad. It took 4 years to undo all that. I can go months without a migraine, now. I'm finally in remission. I see a therapist. I actually love myself and feel better and doing the things that interest me. (There are always problems here and there, but nothing like before)

Try your best to make the changes to protect future you. I don't know what kind of company you work for, but learn your options. Protect yourself. If you're able to see a doctor for a chronic condition, get FMLA to protect yourself and your paycheck. See if you are able to take a mental health leave, if you need it. See what EPA programs are available to you. Human Resources (which most companies have) is required to give you this information, but you have to request it. You said you work in a warehouse? Know your rights. My bet, OSHA will have your back.

Take care of yourself now so you don't have to spend years putting yourself back together, later. There is literally only one of you in this world, and you are precious and unique and loved. You don't need to respond. Get some rest. Listen to some music. Think about things.

[ame-to-ame]

How ironic that literally the moral of dm is that to live is to consume and to have desires is a proof of living and so wanting is not bad!!! Wanting is not bad!!! But every waking hour I repress myself from wanting that I don't even know really how I feel or what I want anymore

Which is kinda why I have like mixed feelings Abt falin bc I like falin I do she just reminds me of someone and she reminds me of the part of myself I thought I was growing out of but recently I've been falling back into

To not have any dislikes. To not want to hurt anyone. To be nonconfrontational. To forgive and say nothing about your family who cast you out and your brother who left you. To not have any complaints about the injustice of the world enacted upon you for being just a little different, but not really different from anyone at all because like everyone else you were just a kid trying to survive in a world that was new to you.

Falin was most alive to me when she said that she was willing to hurt others to ensure the survival and wellbeing of marcille and laios. Because in that moment she wasn't just someone who would go along with anything who was okay with everything--She wanted her brother and friend to be well. She wanted something!! And I think it's kinda implied with the whole message of the manga that falin was most alive in the end when she does choose to live. She chooses to live by consuming. She wants to live!! She wants to eat! And the lion says that it's the more painful path or something like that. But nonetheless she does it because she wants to. Want. Desire. You have to want something to have any force of will, any proof of living in this world, because how else will you change anything if you're okay with everything and let it change you?

But anyway. Yeah. I saw a post that ended like. I am crude at piano, crude at life, and full of wants (by onenhillion on tt) about being scared of wanting things for fear of rejection and fear of loss but coming to accept it. And imo with my own meaning projected onto it, accepting wanting bc it's such an integral part of being alive. You have to be okay with wanting things and have to be okay with rejection and loss.

Anyway all it is to say that I don't want to have lived a life where I only did things that other people wanted from me. Things other people told me to do. Things other people thought I should do. I want to have at least tried to do the things I wanted and be the person I want to be and even if I fail on the way I will have felt better knowing that I at least tried.

I guess that's why I always try to take the initiative and try to be open and make the first move and whatnot because. Well. Life is too short to be scared or to wait for a better time or to doubt myself. But even then I'm too aware that I'm still not brave enough sometimes that I'm still too scared sometimes. But at least the times I've tried I can be proud of. It's a work in progress. Progress isn't linear. I just have to be more sure and more certain in myself.

God it's my life and I'm the only one responsible for it so. I better be taking the wheel back soon lol.

[tsuutarr]

Yandere!Hero (Chosen One) x Saint!Reader

In all of his life, Elias only remembers crying once. It was when he was a young boy, no older than six years old. He had been taken to the Church for a baptism, only for his holy power and status as the Chosen One to be revealed. He had then been stolen from his parents and beaten black and blue until he was molded into the Hero that would save everyone.

Resigned to his role, Elias never allowed himself to feel any semblance of emotion. He only needs to fulfill the prophecy, after all. No one cares about who he is as a person, about him. They’ve put him outside to protect the borders of humanity by sacrificing his life. They’ve put a distance between him, parading him as a Hero while masking their selfish desires of having him take on the entire burden of bringing salvation to humankind. He is nothing more than a glorified sacrifice without the privilege of feeling emotions. 

But if that’s the case, why does his heart ache when he’s with you? Why does his stomach flutter? Why does a smile he had thought he lost in his youth come back when you’re around? Why does rage burn his fingers when you get hurt? Why do tears wet his cheeks when he holds your cold, lifeless body?

Please, please tell him that you’re just sleeping. Tell him that you’ll greet him when morning comes. Please, use your warm hands to brush his tears away. Tell him that it’ll all be okay.

Despite Elias’ ardent desires, the dead cannot comfort the living. 

“My child,” a voice from the Heavens calls, a beam of light surrounding Elias. “I thank you for your service.”

“Please,” Elias murmurs, voice thick with emotion. “I cannot live without the Saint.”

The voice above is silent as it observes Elias, who cradles you in his arms like you’re his most important treasure. “I cannot change the hands of fate.”

“Then I will,” Elias responds. “Turn back time for me and I will find another way to seal the Demon Lord.”

“It does not exist. You will only put yourself through the same pain.”

“It doesn’t matter to me. As long as I can save the Saint.”

The voice from the Heavens is silent, before it says, “Very well. If that is your desire.”

And so, time is rewinded back to when Elias was a young boy. He once again goes to Church to receive baptism. He is once again shown to be the Hero. He is once again stripped from his parents and beaten black and blue, but this time, he does not cry. Instead, he looks forward so that he can find a way to save you.

But no matter Elias’ efforts, bad end after bad end follows his footsteps. No matter what he does, no matter what he changes, no matter what, bad ends are the only ends he meets with. A good ending where the world is saved and you are still alive just doesn’t exist. So, Elias has no choice, really. He’ll create his own bad end, except this time, the world will be sacrificed for you.

[nikovraskol]

Hii! I love your batfam series so much! I was wondering if we could dive deeper into Damian? and his relationship with the reader in general. He’s such an interesting enigma. He doesn’t like the reader but still cares? in his own twisted way? I’d love to know more about how he thinks

masterlist

thank u for asking this i am feining for any chance to discuss reader's relationship, especially with damian.

personally, i think he sees reader as abnormality. in a family of greatness, they're just there. they don't contribute to anything, they don't help anyone. they just lurk around, like a fly that refuses to be swatted.

his superiority complex towards reader probably manifested for a multitude of reasons ;

firstly, reader doesn't come from anything special, unlike him, their mother isn't some great, powerful figure. just some harlot who managed to seduce bruce wayne and get lucky, meanwhile he comes from talia al ghul, he comes from a higher place than them. they may share bruce's dna, but his mother's half is superior to theirs, therefore, he is superior.

but also, reader isn't a vigilante. they were shoved into a world where the door to becoming something more was open, something reader could reach forward to, something they could grasp, but they didn't take that chance. he sees their refusal to become a vigilante less of a personal choice and moreso a weakness. he grew up in a world where fighting was neccessary, where he had to scar himself to be cradled. so he feels a rush of frustration watching reader being normal, going to school, lounging around -- it infuriates him, it could very well be envy, because a small part of him, a part surpressed by his upbringing, craves that normalcy.

but unlike jason, instead of observing, of presserving reader's 'innocence', damian loathes it.

as stated before, damian comes from the league of assasins, he had to fight to gain his respect -- these traits follow him to the manor, when he hears of reader, he seeks them out simply to remind them of their place, below him.

that's how it should be, so that's why your shift in behaviour startles him. when you walked past him, he was stunned. you looked at him differently, he could see that the way you carried yourself, the way you spoke up. he could tell something was different, but he couldn't tell what.

regardless, you gaining a back-bone was simply unpresidented! though it's easy to write it off as simple arrogance, damian's insistence on you stayed came from a place of fear. you leaving -- it'd shake damian's core values, everyone in the family helps him in some way, not in a selfish way -- but in an emotional way. he loves his family, he cares for them -- so by proxy, he loves you too.

so how could you want to leave? what you believe to be fear of the changes around you, he sees it as conceit, believe it or not! you don't know what it's like to have to bleed for respect, you've never had to sink a dagger into someone's flesh to earn your keep, you don't know what goes on outside of the bubble that bruce's kept you in -- or, that's how he sees it.

because, of course, he doesn't know what you're currently going through -- this little fit of yours, he sees it as a testament to your naiveness. you can't leave, you're-- oh, how he loathes to say it, you're important.

so, i do think in his own way, damian cares for reader. but he's always expressed his affection through his violence, it's how he was raised. but reader isn't apart of that world. the small, childish part of him which he believed to have been extuinguished yearns to reach out.

but the man he became stops him, he wants reader to stay close, stay where he can see them, savour who they are, where he can protect them, even if that protection means breaking them down, it's the only way he knows how to show his affection, so don't complain too much.

soz if this is hard to read i was kinda rushing this >.>

[lynnlovesthestars]

Could I request headcanons for Harleep, Astarion, Gale, Wyll, Halsin, Dammon, Rolan, and Zevlor with kind and patient gn s/o? This is quite self-indulgent of me because I have been told I'm too nice & so patient so I'm curious how they would react XD

first of all sorry for being so late, but my small brain has to process things multiple times to make sense, so i wrote this like... 5 times? So it takes me a while, but i hope that waiting was worth it.

Also i saw you sent a second ask to see if i recieved this one, so ill put dammon and rolan there cause this is starting to get a bit long:3<3 thank you so much for your patience!:3

Taglist: @sessils @spacebarbarianweird

Headcanon: BG3 men with kind and patient s/o. (pt. 1)

Zevlor:

Zevlor is emotionally a wreck already, he considers kindness a virtue and it definitely makes him swoon when he notices you put extra care in making sure he's treated with kindness. At the end of the day, he basically got bullied on all fronts when all he really wants is to prove himself worthy of the title he carried for so long.

Zevlor has a short temper too, and he appreciates so much your effort and patience in dealing with his outbursts, whether they are of rage- not towards you of course- or of sadness, you offer always a shoulder for him and he cherishes it so much.

He is lowkey jealous when he notices that your kindness is not mostly exclusive to him, he has learned that people can abuse one's patience and care, and 1. he doesn't want you to get hurt, 2. he wishes your kindness was maybe reserved to him. Call him selfish, but after being deprived of it for so long, he is hesitant to let go of it.

Astarion:

Initially he would be very wary, in his experience being nice always lead to him getting hurt, so why would he trust someone who's default reply is kindness? At the end of the day the last time someone was '''''kind''''' to him, he was turned in a vampire spawn, so he takes it extra slow, he has just regained control over himself, he won't blindly accept kindness. He's lowkey afraid you are just part of a bigger scheme that will bite him in the ass and leave him shackled and caged again.

Once he gets accustomed to your kindness and finally accepts it, he revels in the kindness you offer and your patience, especially the smallest gestures like opening a door for him. He will literally melt for it, he's already smitten, your kindness leaves him like mush in your hands.

Nevetheless every good side, comes with a negative one. He is dead afraid your kindness will bring you to get hurt. He often reminds you to be weary and keep all your kindness for people you trust (HIM), rather than going around and helping every lost soul that asks for help. He will fight you on this a few times- especially if you do get hurt or it is obvious you are about to- he will not bite his tongue and keep it for himself, and that's one of the moments when he's glad you are patient.

You understand where it comes from and you try your best to find a solution that would make both happy. Your patience of course doesn't stop there, he knows he's an handful: he carries an heavy trauma baggage and he has a feisty personality, yet you always show him you don't mind, that you are there for him and that he can take all the time of the universe to sort his problems out.

Wyll:

Wyll would find it so endearing, how you are ready to go to someone's aid, you stop on your tracks to support someone in need, and he would love seeing you being kind to everyone. It's probably one of the reasons why he falls in love with you. Unlike Astarion he encourages you to be kind to everyone, cause he considers it a virtue, he incourages you to be the best version of yourself, and he reminds you that if you do get hurt, he will be there to pick up the pieces.

As far as patience goes, he's grateful to the moon and back, he knows he is an handful, especially if he doesn't break his pact with Mizora and has to leave more times than ever. He makes sure once he's back though that he makes up for lost time, whether it is with gifts or by taking care of you.

Haarlep:

Harleep is so used to Raphael that honestly he's taken aback at first, living in the hells means that kindness is hard to come by and around Raphael? It's either a trick or a miracle, so he brushes it off, not repelled like Astarion would, but definitely not eager like Wyll either.. he would be probably the one that takes it as it is, just.. that. But when he gets used to it? He becomes unsufferable. So unsufferable that he goes around demanding Raphael to be treated with kindness and patience! He purrs whenever you are nice even the smallest, thanking you and praising you like a goddess. He even tries to be nice himself- to you only- and despite it has to be and effort, since he has never been exposed to much kindness, he does become a little more mindful, even asking before taking your form or just with small acts of services.

One time Rapahel makes sure to send a message to you through him. "Tav, Raphael asked you stop being nice to me, cause if i demand it from him as well, he's going to turn me into fertilizer", message delivered with a pout that begs exactly the opposite.

Harleep is another that is deeply afraid of your kindness. Let's be real, you can defend yourself as much as you want, but people tend to use people and your kindness is one of those characteristics evil people would pry on- he knows well since its literally part of what he does, and a facet of what Raphael does as well. He probably scolds you a lot for this reason, he does it in a sweet way- don't get me wrong- he sugarcoats the shit out of it, but he will let you know when you are about to get in peril or you are too careless with your kindness.

Gale:

Gale is touched by your kindness, already from the first days after meeting him.

You had helped him out of his blotched portal, you fed him artifacts, you didn't question his secrets or push him to reveal anything, and he doesn't give that for granted. Once he's closer to you, and he learns that you are unconditionally kind to everyone, he's scared.

He starts warning you to be a little less nice, to use your judgement before you blindly trust a stranger, but he doesn't push it past a warning. As much as he wants to protect you, he doesn't want to take away your chance to grow from your errors.

In matter of your patience he's so grateful, he spends days thanking you when he's still afflicted with the orb condition, he cooks as a form of apology or thanks depending what he did, he gets baths started for you, he's treating you as a queen/ king. He alread would do it, but with you? He's even more protective, he almost feels like he has to match your kindness and patience with as much attentions he can muster.

Halsin:

Halsin is a fair man you think he wishes everyone was kind, but he actually wants you to be fair, he wants you to be mindful of who you give kindness to, he wants you to be a reasonable judge rather than unconditionally nice cause it is the way of the nature as well. Nature is not only nurturing and lush, it's also the poisonous vipers and herbs.

Does he appreciate when you are kind? Absolutely, he thinks it's the best gift Silvanus has ever bestowed him, but it doesn't take away the fact that he wants you to be treated kindly as well, so the moment someone crosses the line and starts abusing your kindness or becomes rude, he's definitely stepping in to s h a m e the other person. "You are lucky you have met Tav, cause they are kind, but nature wouldn't be so understanding and patient" He says it with a rage you rarely see in his eyes.

He will do his best to remind you to surely practice kindness but also to be mindful who you help and who you are kind to, cause there's always rotten that can harm you, and lowkey if you get hurt he will invite you to take back what you gave.

Despite this Halsin considers kindness the bare minimum a person should be, and what stops him from encouraging you to be kinder, its just the knowledge that you might get hurt.

[4only1]

Hiiii there!

So I don't know about your rules so if you uncomfortable it's okay!!! 😊

Can you write a story where shingen and reader are married but reader doesn't want to be married and just wants a life of her own. So she runs away not knowing she was pregnant and when she finds out, she decideds to keep the baby and gives birth to twins a boy and a girl. Awhile reader is happy, shingen has gone completely insane looking for her.

Every day some dies do to the fact they couldn't find reader. But shingen learns where reader is hiding and goes himself to get only to find out she has given birth to gun and his twin sister.

They rest can be up to you! 😊

Thank you! 😊

Fear and Loathing

Yamazaki Shingen x Reader Word Count: 912 Warning: Angst (I can't help myself) Masterlist ------------------------

It was all you felt for this lifestyle you had been forced into. Fear and loathing. Fear for the man you married, for the members of the clan who despised you enough to try and get rid of you. Loathing of the man you married, for the lifestyle forced upon you. 

Marriage was a silly thing to you. If it were actually your decision, you never would have married, let alone a man like Shingen Yamazaki. The man he once was had now become lethargic, empty, depressed. You didn’t like your married life before, and you certainly didn’t like it after his defeat. 

Once you were informed of the Yubitsume to take place, you couldn’t stay here any longer. It didn’t matter that you had supposedly sinned, you needed to leave. In the dead of night, you vanished. Nobody knew exactly how you left without so much as a trace, but it didn’t matter. What did, was the fact that Shingen was furious, with the other woman, with everyone who didn’t notice, but especially with you.

The bloodshed that followed was only contained once his brother, Shintaro, claimed they would find you. How he needed to put the clan first, and let them take care of finding you. Soon, one month passed, then two, then three, and as they did, Shingen became more restless. Where did you go, and what were you doing?

It was a taste of freedom unlike any other, one you had never known. You travelled far away, hidden within the depths of a small prefecture, no one knowing of who you truly were. You made a life for yourself, working at a small shop, supporting yourself, no longer constricted by the rules of the Yamazaki clan. Until you found out you were pregnant.

It wasn’t expected but not exactly surprising. You had been expected to give birth to the heir at some point, and it just had to be when you decided to run away. You decided to keep it, more trouble would come if you didn’t, and maybe if you delivered the heir, you could bargain for freedom for yourself. It was selfish, but you never asked for this life, and certainly not this child. 

As your pregnancy progressed, you became depressed at the fact of giving birth to the Yamazaki clan's heir. You couldn’t do this, this child would tie you to the clan forever, regret sank in. It hit even harder when you discovered it was twins.

Meanwhile, the Yamazaki clan was in shambles. Their leader had gone mad trying to find you, often taking his frustrations out on those around him. A trail of blood followed him, and it bleed for you. He was desperate as the months passed. He needed you, you didn’t have a choice, once he found you, you were never leaving his side again.

It was a week after you had given birth, over nine months since you ran away, that he appeared. Like you escaping through the night, his figure was a shadow, watching you, waiting. He was shocked to be greeted not only by you, but two infants as well. Exhaustion was obvious on your face, but it also held another emotion he couldn’t quite place.

“You’ve been hiding all this time, even after you discovered you were carrying my children. This game is over, it is time to return.”

He was blunt with his words, as always. He expected immediate action from you, instead, you remained seated, looking at him, that same indescribable emotion on your face. 

“I don’t think that will happen. I have served my duties as the wife by giving birth to the heir of the clan. You don’t need me anymore, and I don’t need you.”

“You don’t get a choice, you are to return and continue to be my wife”

A long pause followed. He wouldn't take no for an answer. Until...

“I’m so tired”

Your broken voice spoke. Broken things can be fixed, Shingen thought. But something stopped him, you stopped him. The two infants laying in their cots caused him to pause, if he had you, you would break further, maybe even die.

If you love something, you’ll let it go, and he might just have to do that. You were broken, and he couldn’t fix you, even if he lived in ignorance to your condition, forcing you back into the clan, by his side, it would forever plague him. 

The thought of knowing you were alive was better than keeping you by his side, forever spiraling until you faded away. He couldn’t leave without something though. 

“I will take my son with me, the daughter shows no promise for anything special, she will remain with you.”

You offered no argument as he took the child, as he was leaving you offered on final remark.

“His name is Jonggun, but please, give him a proper name. And let us forget we ever met.”

He would never know what happened to you or the daughter, and although he had your son, it was too painful to look at him. He avoided the son, again falling into a deep depression. It wasn’t until he was dying protecting the child he had taken from you, that he finally understood.

It finally clicked what that look on your face was. He hadn’t seen it since you first left, nobody having the nerve to show it in front of him. It was normally mixed with another emotion as well, but this time, it stood alone, by itself.

It was loathing.

------------------------------------------

I can't help myself, I love writing unhappy stories. I like to try and make the prompts possible in the storyline, it's just more enjoyable for me. Careful when you say, the rest is up to you, because I will turn it into an angsty story. TBH I originally was gonna make reader die, but couldn't make it work.

All my Shingen stories have the common theme of reader dying or running away, just how I like it.

[dreamermonica]

you belong with me !

when someone else approaches their partner, how do they react?

—includes itoshi rin, michael kaiser, itoshi sae

—gender of reader isn't specificied, fluff, established relationships, angy bllk boys, mentions of creeps, unwanted contact and such. first post in this blog, hope everything goes well!

all hell goes loose when RIN catches sight of another person gripping your wrist—especially when you look utterly terrified and confused. they dare to touch someone that is leagues above their own, someone that's already taken by one of the most well-known soccer players in the world, and do it without the bare minimum of consideration for your own feelings? in that very moment, he only sees red.

quickly apprehending the cause of your discomfort by ripping the person's hand off of your arm and retracting you to his chest with a small oomf from you—a harsh glare burns onto the person's face. you could probably see the intensity of his stare just by looking at the person's horrified reaction.

“who are you to touch them like that?” his airy voice brings comfort to the erratic beating of your heart, your tense form slowly melting in his hold.

right now, he doesn't care that he's attracting unnecessary attention. the crowd that's slowly forming around the commotion he'd caused is the least of his problems right now. sure, it'll probably ruin the stealth of your date but he needs to see this insignificant pest to drown in shame until he's satisfied.

“rin—it's fine. this type of stuff is normal, let's just go, hm?” you probably sensed that he was ready to take it a step too far, and when he kills down the glare on his expression to look at you properly with his usual indifferent eyes, you heave out a sigh of relief.

tugging on his coat, you smile at him nervously. “c'mon now! let's resume our date before anyone recognizes you!”

contrary to the usual soft and compliant rin you're used to, he does not budge an inch. seemingly glued to the floor after your words. “what did you say?”

“...huh?”

“before what you just said right now. you mean this type of interaction is normal?”

with how intense his stare burns into yours, you grow sheepish each passing second—hand reluctantly raising to rub the back of your neck in confusion and slight bewilderment.

wait, he didn't know that until now? how are you going to word this properly without sounding sensitive? “well—uh, you see...you're like, crazy popular, and everyone knows i'm dating you, so of course i'd also grow popular too, and then you know you also have some of these crazy fans that hate me and—” you cut yourself off when you feel a familiar air of anger rise once more.

your lover does not reply, and only carefully brings out his phone to dial what you recognize as his manager's phone number—and very, very scary words coming out from his lips while shifting his stare back at the person who's now groveling at his feet.

his little conversation about hiring bodyguards and telling the media they're doomed for affecting your safety does not faze you one single bit. there's only one thought inside your pretty little mind as you stare at the dark expression of itoshi rin.

oh lord. what have you done?

if there's anything KAISER hated more than anything, it would be when someone touches something, or in this case, someone who solely belongs to him. a emperor usually has his own certain treasures, and they're kept away from the hands and eyes of commoners and peasants for a reason. should one give into their selfish desires and attempt to take away his treasures—an inevitable treason is in line.

“what the hell is this? some irrelevant bumpkin treading where he doesn't belong?” with how loud and condescending the blonde sounds, you're certain that he's doing it so that it garners the entire room's attention.

a celebration party is held to commemorate bastard münchen's latest victory—hence the crowd full of friends and families of the football team's members alike are gathered, along with expensive investors and celebrities wanting to meet the famous aces of the country. funny acts committed in parties like these are not common, yet not all that uncommon either.

but it's mostly happens for the nobodies. who would even consider getting too friendly with the infamous partner of michael kaiser—who's offhandedly the embodiment of bastard in bastard münchen?

at the end of the day, it seems there's someone with more-balls-than-brains here in front of him. it's interesting, in a way. kaiser thinks as grins as the man's face contorts into a way that feeds his own sadism. the day was starting to get boring until this little failure came to ruin his—

a gentle squeeze on his hand halts his violent thoughts.

he cranes his neck to look at you with an eyebrow raised, your [e/c] hues glinting in a way that's telling him to stop whatever he's going to do before it goes too far.

contemplating options as the football ace glances back at the man drowning in shame amidst the sea of judgemental looks thrown his way, he heaves a deep sigh. one of defeat rather than disappointment. he's already well-aware of your forgiving nature.

“okay. i'll cut it out. but in one condition,” he looks back at you, squeezing your hand back as a smirk creeps on his face. “we ditch the party.”

“wha—? but isn't this whole event your idea in the first place?” you come nothing short of confused, hand still in his.

“meh, who cares.” he retorts boredly, snapping his fingers to call on forth the body guards hired for the party, before gesturing towards the man—kicking him out for the good and betterment of guests. “it was getting boring anyway. 'only hosted this event just so i could see you all dressed up.”

dressed up for his victory, he chooses not to add to spare your blushing face. that final goal he scored would've made his fans froth at the mouth if they were up close. he briefly wonders if you had reacted the same. er—most likely not, but a man can dream.

“you're so infuriating, you know that?” you comment without any malice, a small smile spreading on your lips when kaiser starts tugging you away from the room filled with expensive champagnes and rich ambassadors. almost feels like a daydream to run away like this, hand in each other while noa's scoldings fall on deaf ears.

a light laugh escapes his lips, “but you still love me anyway.”

he sends a playful wink your way right after, and you might just faint—knees weakened and all.

SAE seems indifferent at first, blankly staring at the person attempting to woo you. is it of disbelief? disgust, even? whatever it was, he just kept staring while the person uttered the most horrendous pick up lines your poor ears have ever heard. you were too preoccupied in tuning out the person's musings to even notice sae moving towards you.

it sure is a pain to have an attractive s/o. the famous football player just went to the bathroom and he comes back to see another man kissing up to you like some dog whimpering for scraps of food. in this case, the scraps of food the dog was getting desperate for was your number. a shitshow, he thinks.

“sorry, but i'm actually waiting for someone.” you finally managed to formulate a sentence without the man cutting it off once again with his terrible lines. you forgo the urge to compare him to an npc designed to rizz up a rock. it was genuinely that bad. bad enough that the rock would probably grow legs just to get away from him.

“you've said that what, three times now? where's that person yer' talkin' about, huh?” the man leans closer while rubbing the insides of his ear, causing you to cautiously take a step back. god, a bath could really help this man, and he's right—where is your boyfriend? “just lemme hit now, you won't regret it one bit—”

a sturdy hand places itself onto the creepy man's shoulder, roughly, and i mean, roughly turning the man around to face a maddened pair of emerald hues. right before you and the man stands an enraged itoshi sae—one of the most well-known aces of the entire country. from the way the man stays paralyzed in his place, it's not hard to deduce that he probably recognizes the living and breathing legend right in front of him.

“out of my sight, unless you want things to get dirty.” the soccer genius is known to be level-headed and rational even in dire situations when it comes to within and outward of the field, so who exactly are you staring at right now?

the redhead coldly dismisses the man with a chilling glare, before approaching you with hands now stuffed in pockets, eyebrows raised as if to question your dumbfounded look. “let's get going. the grime is starting to rub off on me.”

ah, that's right.

you let him grab your wrist to drag you away, his demeanour doing a complete 180 as he asks about what kind of food you'd want to eat today, naming your favourite restaurants one by one whilst he tugs you around, ignoring the double takes of passerbys making sure they didn't just see sae itoshi in the flesh.

the man you're staring at right now...is your lover

the very same man who shut down the touchy feely dude earlier, not to mention him completely dismissing the entire situation as to not ruin your mood, the one who has all your favourite restaurants memorized, the very same guy who invited you out today because he simply wanted to see you and enjoy the day with you, the boy who chose you out of millions, and millions of admirers—

you're simply looking at your boyfriend, itoshi sae. not the genius revered by multiple nations, but simply a man who loves you just as much as you do to him.

a smile spreads on your face as you finally keep up with his pace, now beside him instead of being dragged around like a lost puppy. “hmm, why don't you choose? i'm feeling like trying some new today.”

“okay. we're going spicy then.”

(ik bastard means like sword or smth for germans ok kaiser being THE bastard just sounded right for me)

edit; okay just found out bastard actually means bastard, it makes more sense now

ALSO YES I HC SAE LIKES SPICY FOOD

[degreesofpetal]

Hihi! I read an ask recently about whether Whitney would choose PC over his status and friends if he had to make a choice and Vrelnir said Whitney would choose PC. I think that’s really cool since he seems super focused on staying top dog in the game so I’m wondering how you think that would go down?

OH ANON. I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS ANON.

Whitney choosing PC

Whitney cares about his position. As vain as it is, he does. Perhaps more than anything in the world. Until you came along, that is. There are two versions of Whitney. There's before you, and there's after you.

Before you, Whitney was tough.

Before you, Whitney was hypervigilant. Ready for whatever threat would test him next.

Before you, Whitney was selfish. He cared more about himself than you or any other person, by a long shot.

Or you, matching his tenacity with the same force, using your strength for good. Like a lightning strike, showing him that there's more to life than just toughness and crushing those beneath you.

Before you, Whitney was cruel. There's no escaping that simple fact; he was cruel. He was vicious and nasty, all teeth and claws. He never would've dreamt of letting someone get close to him. Until you.

But then, there was you. You, in all of your gentle glory. Like a beam of light, illuminating his darkest parts and showing him how life could be.

Or you, like a bolt of lightning, slicing through his darkest days like a hot knife through butter. You, in all your strength and toughness, showing him that there was more to being strong than crushing those beneath you.

Before you, Whitney was a shell. As much as he tried to hide it, the world that tormented you had tormented him, too. He was broken, but he'd never let anyone see that. Not even his closest friends. And then there was you.

You, who brought him out of his shell.

You, who showed him what life could be.

You, who showed him what he could be.

Once he had you, he knew he couldn't let you go. Not for anything. Even if that meant giving up what had meant the very most to him for so long- his status.

One day, he's getting up to his usual antics with his friends, when you come around.

"Oh, look, it's your little pet." His friends would chide, elbowing each other and laughing. Whitney would crack a cocky smile and make his way over to you, ushering you over to the crowd of people he'd been hanging out with. "Yup," He'd reply, claiming you proudly in front of everyone.

For awhile, everything would be going normally. You'd talk shit with the rest of them, breaking things and spitting and whatever else teenage dirtbags get up to. But eventually, you'd all get sick of just standing on a random street corner, and you'd decide to go back to someone's house. You'd arrive under Whitney's arm. You'd all drink and smoke and talk, but you'd notice that the whole time, Whitney's eyes never leave you. That is, until he needs to use the bathroom.

As soon as Whitney leaves a switch is flipped. You realize with a start that these people are not your friends. They were only ever cordial to you because Whitney was there. And now that he wasn't, they were more than happy to take advantage of your inebriated state. You'd whimper and cry out, but your feeble voice would get lost in the blaring music. By the time Whitney returns an eternity has passed and your shirt is on the ground. Your face is drenched in tears, ruddy and red while you do the best to fight despite the alcohol flowing through your veins.

Whitney sees the scene in front of him and he sees red. CRACK goes one bottle, over someone's head. "Fuck!-" Someone yells, as the broken butt of that same bottle is driven into their arm. "What the hell Whitney?" Someone holding onto you would yell, dropping you on the floor and leaving you to try and cover yourself. Whitney would drag you to his side by your arm, holding you up like a bag of luggage and looking at the small gang of people with a glower you've never seen before in his eyes. He'd drop the bloodied bottle he was holding and spit onto the ground, before leaving the scene behind him- carrying you in tow.

From that day on, Whitney no longer had his "friends" at his every beck and call. But that didn't matter to him, not a bit. Because he had you- and he wasn't going to let you go.

[asterafroditis]

𐔌 . ⋮ wake up, sleepyhead.ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

☓┆Silver x gn! reader

𓏵 704 words

ᝰ.ᐟ 3rd Person POV, no pronouns used, established relationship with reader, angst, hurt/comfort

sorry if Silver is ooc, I'm not too knowledgeable on his personality (◞ ‸ ◟ㆀ) feel free to like, reblog, or leave a comment!

ᝰ.ᐟ masterlist

Silver loves you with all his heart, but no matter how much he tries to tell himself that, the guilt never truly goes away. He doesn’t doubt your love or patience— if anything, he feels like he doesn’t deserve them. How could he, when every moment spent with you feels like a moment stolen by his uncontrollable slumber?

It wasn’t as if you didn’t know. From the very beginning, you’d been well aware of the spell placed on him as a child. You’d told him countless times that it didn’t bother you, that you understood this was something he couldn’t control. But Silver couldn’t stop the self-reproach that grew every time he awoke to find your face patiently waiting for him.

He hated the way it always played out: an afternoon spent together under the dappled sunlight of a quiet forest, with you happily chatting away about something or other. Then, without warning, his eyelids would begin to droop, his head would grow heavy, and no amount of willpower could stop him from succumbing to the pull of sleep.

When he awoke, there you were, still by his side, smiling softly as though nothing had happened. But Silver could see the faint concern lingering in your eyes, could feel the way your hands hesitated for just a second longer before reaching for his. And that was what crushed him most of all—that you cared so much, even when he felt he didn’t deserve it.

“Why don’t you leave me?” he asked one day, the words slipping out before he could stop them. His voice was quiet, trembling with the weight of everything he’d kept inside. “You don’t have to waste your time with someone like me. You could be with someone who could give you all the time in the world... someone who wouldn’t fall asleep in the middle of your sentences.”

Your eyes widened, shock flashing across your face before quickly softening. “Silver, what are you talking about?” you murmured, stepping closer to him.

He shook his head, unable to meet your gaze. “I... I don’t want to be a burden to you. You deserve someone who can give you their full attention, not someone who spends half of your time together unconscious. I feel like I’m stealing from you.”

“Silver,” you whispered, placing a gentle hand on his arm. ��You’re not stealing anything from me.”

“But I am!” he burst out, his voice cracking under the weight of his guilt. “Every time I fall asleep, I take away time we could have spent together. I feel so selfish for holding you back like this... and I can’t even stop it. I can’t change it.”

You waited for a moment, letting his words settle before speaking again. “You’re right,” you said softly, surprising him. “You can’t change it. And that’s okay. I don’t need you to change anything, Silver.”

He looked at you then, eyes wide and searching. “But why?”

“Because I love you,” you said simply. “And being with you means accepting every part of you, even the parts you might not like about yourself. When you fall asleep around me, it’s not a waste of time. It’s a reminder that you feel safe enough to let your guard down. That you trust me enough to be vulnerable.”

Silver’s breath hitched, his heart clenching painfully at your words. He wanted to believe you, wanted to let go of the guilt that weighed him down. But it was so hard.

You reached for his hand, squeezing it gently. “You’ve spent your whole life protecting others, haven’t you? Always on guard, always thinking about everyone else. But with me... you don’t have to do that. You can rest, Silver. I don’t mind. In fact, I love that you trust me enough to do that.”

For a long moment, Silver couldn’t find the words to respond. His chest felt tight, a strange mix of emotions threatening to overwhelm him. Slowly, he lowered his head, letting his silver hair fall into his eyes as he whispered, “Thank you.”

And for the first time, he allowed himself to believe, just a little, that maybe he wasn’t stealing your time. Maybe, just maybe, you were giving it willingly.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Summer Breeze 9

Warnings: age gap (reader is 22, Andrew is mid 40s), dad’s friend, Andy being Andrew, other dark elements. As usual, be mindful of your content consumption.

I also beg of you to leave me some tuppence in the form of a comment and/or reblog. You are cherished!

Enjoy, my loverlies.

“I don’t think I can make the drive back up,” Andy yawns, “I got us a house not far from here.” 

He gets in the driver seat as you take the passengers. The exhaustion is finally winning, so much so that you hard care about any of it. You just want to be in one place and laying down. 

“A house?” You rub your cheek and lean into the door. 

“Yeah, got a buddy. He rents it out on some app, thought about doing the same with our place,” he checks his blind spot as he backs out, “anyway, lot of whatever. He doesn’t have any booking so I called in a favour.” 

“Mm, lucky,” you mumble and your eyes droop. 

Your dad doesn’t have any convenient friends. Just Andy. Your mom told everyone he was a piece of shit during the divorce and she moved away once you hit eighteen so he had to live in the cess pool of it all.  

Andy moved in about the same time but you never really thought of him as more than a neighbour. He had a beer with your dad now and again whenever he needed help with some DIY but it was never that deep. You suppose after you went off to college, your dad had more time to waste on friends. 

Your mind keeps wandering to the minuscule; the irrelevant. Just so you don’t have to think about the worst. You let your eyes close and sink down. 

“Just relax, sweetheart,” Andy’s silty tone follows you down, “be like twenty minutes.” 

The motion of the car lulls you. Your head thrums and your body goes hollow. You feel like you’re made of air as your mind ripples. It’s only as you come to a stop that you’re roused from your trance. You sit up and sniff. 

“How ya doin’ over there?” Andy rests his hand on the corner of your seat. 

“Fine, fine, I’m just...” 

“Tired. Yeah, you were snoring,” he snickers, “kinda cute.” 

You blink and keep your brow from furrowing. Sometimes he says things that don’t need to be said. You suppress a yawn and undo the seat belt. 

“It’s been a long couple days.” 

“Tell me about it,” he tuts, “I’ll grab the bags.” 

Another storm of confusion takes you. You keep forgetting the little details. You get out and wait for him as he pops the hatch. He pulls out your pink duffel bag and his own dark blue suitcase. He hauls both with him as he approaches. 

“The key is on the door. You just need to put in the code,” he instructs, directing you ahead of him with the tilt of his chin. 

“Oh, sure.” 

You turn and lead him across the gravel. The house is just as nice as his cottage, crested by a small pond behind the tall porch. You climb the steps and go to the front door, a lock box hooked around the handle. He gives you the code but it declines. He tells you to flip the last two numbers and it unlocks. 

You take out the key and let yourself in. You stay by the door, holding onto it as he angles through with the luggage. He groans as he puts it all down and kicks off his dock shoes. You look down and slip out of your slides. Your feet are filthy from running all around. 

“I think there’s a shower upstairs, a couple of rooms. I can drop your bag in one while you get washed up,” he offers. 

“You know what, think I can figure it out,” you snatch up your duffel and hike it onto your arm. 

“Right, you go first, I’ll go after,” he shrugs, “I gotta make a few calls. Jacob’s mom has been blowing me up.” 

“Okay,” you say just to say something. You can’t think about his problems too. Call you selfish but you just can’t handle anything else. 

“Not your problem,” he says, “go, I’ll hold down the fort.” 

He as good as shoos you away and you’re all too happy to take the out. You tramp upstairs and peer around. You find the bathroom first and toss your bag in the room next to it. You take out a fresh pair of pajamas, you only brought two sets, and search out the linen closet for a towel. You feel like an intruder but you’re too worn out to care. 

You dip into the show and pull the door shut. God, the water is good. You could fall asleep standing up. You make quick work of scouring your body to avoid just that and dry off on the bath mat. 

As you come out of the bathroom, you listen to the house. It’s quiet. Andy must have taken his call outside. Ugh, he’s an adult. He’s proven he can manage a lot more than you. 

You fall into bed, cozy in your fresh shorts and tank top, and hug the pillow as you hook a leg around the duvet. Almost as quickly as you still, you’re out for the count. You drift off into an ocean of colours, swirling and streaming behind your eyelids, spinning you in a cyclone of obscurity. 

You stir as you hear a subtle thud. A cool breeze blows from the floor vent and chills your exposed leg. Your shorts are trapped between your ass, an embarrassing scene if anyone was to see you. You roll over and conceal yourself in a cocoon formed with the fluffy duvet. 

The door’s open... you swore you shut it. You’re so tired, you can’t remember. You don’t bother getting up. You’re too fucking dead.  

You close your eyes and a long groan drones through the wall. The noise makes you rigid. Maybe choosing the room right next to the plumbing isn’t the best idea. You wiggle down further into the bedding as the shower thrums and another deep utterance rolls in. 

You pull the blanket over your ears and try to tune it out. The steady spray can’t block out his grumbling voice. At first, you’re agitated. Why does he need to make so much noise? A shower isn’t that good—wait. 

Your cheeks burn in realisation. He isn’t... he wouldn’t do that. Not right now. You can hear his voice, rhythmic and strained. Wow. Oh god. You cup your hands over your ears and bite down. Talk about embarrassing. 

There’s a slap against the wall and a deep grunt. Jesus. 

You roll your back to the wall and huff. You’re glad he has something to distract himself. You can barely focus on living. 

[chukys-mouthguard]

#17 Angsty with Mat Barzal

Prompt: “It’s like…you have this power over me, and I-I guess I’m wary of where it might lead.”

Note: writing angst for mat always has me picturing him just being the absolute cockiest asshole on the planet but i love it so much 🫠

“Mat you act like we haven’t been doing this shit for months now! I get wanting to keep some things private for yourself, but it’s like you're ashamed of me or something!”

He sat with his head in his hands as you paced the floor of his apartment. The two of you having just gotten home from an Islanders home game. Though having to drive separate because Mat and you weren’t together, and you couldn’t be seen with one another.

“It’s not that y/n! You know it’s not anything like that!”

He spat back at you before standing up himself, making his way to the kitchen and grabbing a beer from the fridge.

“Then what is it? If you’re just looking for a hook up type situation, then I’ll walk out that door right now because I told you from day one that isn’t at all what I wanted. If you’re not interested in me anymore, then fine. But don’t sit here and lie to me when it’s obvious something is going on. You won’t be seen with me. I can’t wear your jersey number, I can’t meet any of the guys or their girlfriends. I’m your secret or something, and I don’t understand why!”

Mat sighed as he saw the tears in your eyes, hating to see you so upset, but he knew this was best. Keeping your relationship like it was. It was better this way, less complicated.

“It’s like…you have this power over me, and I-I guess I’m wary of where it might lead.”

He sipped his beer as you shook your head.

“What the fuck does that even mean? Wary of where it might lead? It’s been eight months at this point Mat, not quite sure where else we are headed.”

He knew he should’ve never let things go on as long as they had, but like he said, you had this power over him. He couldn’t commit to you. But he also couldn’t let you go. Despite how much he cared about you and liked you, he knew this couldn’t be anything more. Not now.

“I can’t put a label on this or introduce you to everyone because god forbid this goes south, I can’t go through that. I need to be focused on my game right now, the second I start introducing you to people and the things that come with that, it’s going to be too much pressure. I don’t want to deal with any of that right now, that’s why I like things where they are at. I get it, it’s been months, you want more. You need more. But I can’t give that right now, and I won’t give you that. I know what I want, and that’s not a label. I don’t need a girlfriend, nor do I want one.”

His words cut through you like a knife. The man you’d fallen for turning out to be nothing you ever thought he was. Wiping the tears from your cheeks, you did your best to suck up your emotions. Mat not deserving another one of your tears.

“So, what was the point? You were just keeping me around for fun? For company? To waste my time when you knew what I wanted?”

Mat simply shrugging as he brought his beer back to his lips for another sip. “I care about you, so fucking much. And I told you, you have this power over me where I can’t just walk away and let you go. I, I want to think it will get better. That things will change. But I’m also not going to give in and change things thinking that we are headed that way. So yeah, maybe I’m being selfish for keeping you around rather than ending this knowing it’s not what you want. But, I still want you here. I still want this with you. As long as you can accept where I stand. If you can’t, then that’s fine too.”

You scoffed as you grabbed your keys, “That’s fine too? You know what….you’re right, I do have power over you. And I’m taking that power to walk away from what a piece of shit you are. Go fuck yourself Mathew Barzal.”

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

I've got female Sole Survivor on the brain thanks to this Deegan one-shot, especially in relation to her grief at all she's lost at the beginning of the game. This may be a touch controversial.

I see a ton of female Soles (both in fan works as well as in general discussions about lore, roleplay, etc.) who are wracked with survivor's guilt in the aftermath, wrought entirely hollow by the loss of their husband and child. This is not a statement of judgement or me implying that it's a subpar creative choice; it's a very natural conclusion to draw. Losing your entire immediate family, on top of surviving multiple mass-casualty events, would naturally leave you wondering why you lived when others didn't and feeling incomplete without those dearest to you.

Personally, the first time I played Fallout 4, I immediately imagined my own Sole as a woman dealing with an immense amount of guilt for an entirely different reason: she feels relief on more levels than one.

Yes, the world ended and everyone she ever knew or really cared for is long dead. But even the horror of that realization doesn't change the fact that there is a massive weight lifted off of her shoulders when she wakes up in that Vault and realizes that she no longer has to be a wife or mother every single moment of her life. It wasn't something she pictured for herself long-term, but she hadn't realized it until it was far too late; very much the sort of person who agreed to get married and have a child before they fully considered all that it would mean (which isn't an uncommon character flaw). But, between the general state of the world at the time and her own hidden struggles, she was eager to feel like she was doing something meaningful with her life.

Nate was the same. It was one of the only things they'd had in common anymore by the time Shaun was born.

I imagine their marriage was struggling (or perhaps simply not as satisfying as either of them would have liked), and having Shaun was an ill-conceived attempt to save things, to find some sort of renewed enthusiasm or meaning. Of course, having a baby to fix your marriage (or yourself) never works. Pregnancy and labor were rough for her, but postpartum was worse; her husband continued to pull away like he had been before, just at a more agonizing rate.

Pretty immediately after the birth, she recognized she'd made a mistake, felt stupid and childish for making such a life-altering decision based on flimsy justifications. But so many people in her life (parents, in-laws, friends who were already parents themselves, society in general) swore to her that having a child would magically end all of her problems through the sheer power of maternal love that she felt selfish not "putting forth the effort" and trying. No one bothered to clarify, though, that if the old 'baby trick' doesn't fix your life, you're then stuck with an inherently needy little person whose existence you may feel indifferent towards more often than not. That realization had been in the middle of literally crushing her to death when the bombs fell.

She's slowly finding herself again as she goes through various adventures and trials in the Commonwealth, helps build community that feels more like a real family to her. Dips her toes into the dating pool eventually. It's not a straightforward process, though, and some days she feels like an uncaring monster and can't even get out of bed. Others, she functions, but with a visible cloud over her, morose and quiet. A tiny, irrational part of her may even feel that she somehow manifested the war, literally brought forth the end of the world with how ardently she begged for something, anything to take her away from what her life had become towards the end.

Her guilt is tinted with anger and shame. She still has lingering health issues from carrying to full term, and her body is changed in ways she knows she will never recover from. Fixates on the changes she notices and it breeds self-consciousness. Part of that fixation is vanity, sure, but she also knows very well that she likely shaved at least a few years off her life span by choosing to become a mother, an endeavor she wouldn't describe as "personally worthwhile" if pressed hard enough.

She also constantly beats herself up for not searching hard enough for her son, but it's unproductive. No matter how guilty she makes herself feel, she doesn't find many leads. Doesn't bring him or Nate up much, unless she's feeling especially vulnerable (or self-hating). The pity people usually express when she says she lost a spouse/child doesn't feel earned to her.

Part of her says her son is likely dead, having lived his whole life without her, and so she'd be wasting her time by dedicating every waking moment to finding him. She finds both peace and sadness in that idea. Another part of her, though, knows she's dragging her feet, pacifying herself with that thought because she doesn't truly want to find him.

[pearlescentparade]

[ao3 request] "cruel king x reader plzzzznPLZZZZ I BEG THEE I WANT CRUEL KING" "OHH MU GYATT i forgot to specify i wanted my ck x reader fluffy (smut if you can! :3)"

EVERYONE CHEER ITS A BLOCKTALES REQUEST!!! reader will be referred to as gender neutral, but has female genitals

❄️cruel king x reader fluff + smut💝❤️‍🔥

people from all across robloxia flock to attend the grandiose balls that the blackrock kingdom holds every year. as such, extensive and deliberate preparations must be carried out several days beforehand to ensure all goes well. catering, security, entertainment... it's not only the planning beforehand that's busy, even the itinerary of the day itself is chock full of tasks that required tending to. of course, the one who sees over it all is nobody other than the king. being the ruler of blackrock and the host of these luxurious galas, he must ascertain that everything is accounted for. there is no room to risk leaving any small detail escape him.

it has to be perfect.

carefully, the door to cruel king's chambers creaks open, letting in some light from the outside into his otherwise completely dark room (only barely lit by a single candle at the desk he's at, yet even that is flickering). the king pays no mind to his visitor, an expression of intense focus etched onto his face as he scrawls on a piece of paper with intent and an inked quill. the discordant chorus of the voices from the icedagger buzz in his mind like bees (likely powered further from his stress), and have been frustratingly causing him to lose his train of thought. that is, until his visitor places a plate of freshly steaming food and a warm cup of tea to the side of his paperwork. the clear sound of the china clinking on the wooden desk breaks him out of his stupor, and he glances up with a hushed murmur of your name. it's only you who's allowed in his private chambers at this hour, after all.

"you're working hard, my king.." you rest your hands atop his shoulders and start gently massaging, expertly kneading out all the tension in his upper back. it's stiff, he must've been at this for hours. in response, he lets out a strained groan, his breaths appearing as cold white bursts of smoke that quickly dissipate. that freezing solid exterior he puts up more than easily melts like simple ice under your touch, it's almost dangerous how you quickly can reduce him to something like a malleable clay. "it worries me.. please, come to bed after you eat and wrap up this directive. i won't let you forget to take care of yourself over some papers!" softly, you plead into his ear, and it feels like pleasant music drowning out the cacophony of the icedagger's voices. if only the king could have you by his side at all times to fill his thoughts instead, but alas, he can't afford such selfish luxuries. "yes, of course... thank you for looking after me, my dear. i'll see you soon, i'm almost done here." and with that, you leave him to go get ready for bed, but not before placing a sweet and chaste kiss on his cheek. he hadn't eaten since morning, having worked all throughout lunchtime, so the food you'd brought supplies him with the energy he needed to finish the last few sentences of the order. after he sips the last of the tea, he slips the paper into an envelope to be mailed next morning and cleanly seals it with wax. then, he snuffs out the candle's flame, leaving the pale moonlight leaking through the windows to faintly illuminate the room on its own. a cold breeze sweeps through, billowing the curtains.

when you see him approach the bedside, you warmly smile as you sit up and hold your arms out as an invitation for him to join, the sleeves of your loose and flowy nightgown rolling down as you do. "come, rest." in a sort of ironic reversal, he obliges to your wish like a servant, relaxing into your comforting embrace as he climbs onto the bed. you lay back down with him in your arms, shuffling closer until you're flush against each other. even though cruel king doesn't provide any warmth, you still insist on cuddling, for intimacy's sake. "it's especially freezing tonight, i know blackrock is always cold but.." a shiver travels throughout your body. as you nestle deeper into cruel king, he can feel every shake and tremble of your muscles against him.

the voices start again, yet they're missing their usual malice.

cold.. give them what they need. for their protection… indulge in them.. fill them with warmth. show them your passion… the only way… melt.

this time, they speak of a more... passionate scheme. and for once, cruel king is inclined to agree with them. he's in no position to resist. looking at his beloved's poor state, you can't possibly sleep like this--you'd sooner freeze to death. besides, he could use an outlet from all the planning he's been doing. cruel king calls your attention by gingerly cupping your cheek in his hand, tilting your face up to look at him. "i.. have a solution. will you hear me, my love?"

all this time, he's been working tirelessly for the good of blackrock. he can be selfish just this once, can't he?

taken aback by his sudden serious tone, you simply nod. your curiosity only grows as you watch him get up and climb on top of you, but you immediately understand once you eye the erection fighting against his pants. in front of his subjects, the king always carries an air of confidence and certainty. he must, in order to maintain their assurance in blackrock's future. yet here, with you, he turns bashful at the slightest hint of hesitation. "forgive me if this is too forward, i—" you don't allow him to continue when you grab his face with both hands and capture him in a feverish kiss. while cruel king is caught off guard, he definitely isn't opposed, leaning into it once he's finished processing. both of your eyes are closed as you savor each other, wordlessly expressing your desires save for some delightful hums. a thin line of saliva connects your mouths when you finally part, heavy pants filling the air between you two. you take hold of cruel king's hand, languidly guiding it down towards the ribbon that held your nightgown together at the waist, then puppeteer his fingers to pinch and undo it. you're so breathless, your next words almost come out like a whisper, "show me how much you want me, my lord."

when the fabric unravels, it reveals your entire body to him: your supple chest that shakily rises up and down with every breath and shiver, your plush and soft stomach, and your cunt that's shining with need. and it's all for him. the king's breath hitches as he timidly reaches to tenderly grope a breast, "beautiful. just beautiful, indeed." you sweetly giggle at his praise. no matter how many times he's seen you naked, he's still amazed like it's his first time.

he retreats the hand from your chest to your inner thigh, pushing it outward so your legs are spread further. then, he brings a finger to your labia, collecting your wetness on his digits as he pets your folds. his cold touch activates your instinct to close your legs, but the hand firmly holding your legs open prevents you from doing so. you're completely at his mercy, and you wouldn't have it any other way. soon enough, he dips his index into your vagina, and you fail to bite back a gasp as it enters. his finger is thick and rough, deliciously brushing against your insides. it prods at your walls, and you can feel your tight pussy clinging around it. it's almost slutty, how he barely touches you and you're already hungry with arousal. after you've adjusted to the feeling, cruel king begins to pump his digit at a medium pace. the biting chill of his finger sliding against your warm flesh sends sparks to your core, and you can do nothing but pathetically mewl at the sensation. "you feel like a pleasant hug, darling. i fear i may get burned," cruel king chuckles as he teases you in a low voice, a rare sight from him. then again, you always bring out his more playful side. "your— your highness.. more, please..." with a flushed face, you whimper, your voice dripping with want. when you ask him like that, how could he possibly say no? he hums, more than willing to service you, "as you wish."

delicately, a second finger is added, eliciting an airy moan from you. the both of them fill you so good, it turns your mind to mush as he smoothly eases them in and out of your pussy. in tandem, his digits curl and scissor, further stretching and prepping you. occasionally, one would brush against your clit and deliver a jolt of pleasure straight to the knot forming in your stomach. it takes all of your remaining willpower to not grind down on his fingers and chase your release. the only reason you don't is because cruel king removes them, leaving you clenching around nothing as you whine from the absence. too absorbed in your neediness, you barely hear the sound of cruel king discarding his pants onto the floor. "you've been so good and patient for me. i believe a reward is in order?" luckily, you're not left unsatiated for long, as the freezing feeling from his erect tip lining up at your entrance returns you to lucidity. at your eager nod, he steadily sinks inside of you, and your synchronized moans create a lovely harmony of obscenity. a burning buzz racks throughout you as your muscles fervently twitch, scrambling to regulate itself to the extreme difference in temperature. goodness, if you felt good around just his fingers, you feel even more heavenly around his cock. your natural wetness allows him to enter so easily, not to mention your excited cunt practically sucking him in. pulling out of you might prove to be a struggle. the king of blackrock shakily exhales, "oh- oh my.. haah- are you alright, love?" "yes, yes my lord—ngh—please, just keep going..." desperation laces your high voice, wanting nothing more than to be taken right this instant. and your wish would come true, as cruel king begins to thrust. he starts out slow and sensual. every stroke draws out a series of babbles from you, every roll of his hips into your drooling cunt fills the room with a filthy slapping sound. when his length grazes your sweet spot, you let him know with a wanton moan. as if responding to a cue, his tempo quickens, ramming into that pleasure point with driven precision. "ah- right there..! feels so—hnnghsooo good-...!" arousal pools in your stomach as he continues to penetrate you. a sweltering heat radiates in waves from your flushed and sweaty skin, and you thrash your head into the cool pillow to try and quell it even a little, but to no avail. there's absolutely nothing in your foggy mind except for your growing climax. if you look closely, you could spy a stream of steam emerging from between your legs. cruel king lets out a grunt. your walls are so snug around his dick, they're almost constricting it. for a moment, a cursed moment, he glances up to look at your face. oh, poor you, you look almost feverish with how deep you're blushing. the way you're panting heavily, your expression twitching every time he plunges into you over and over, the little shiny tears beading in the corners of your eyes as you're borderline sobbing from ecstasy.. it spurs him on even more. in the back of his mind, the voices start up their erotic murmurs again.

they love this. close.. so close... ruin them. look at how far gone they are! so hot.. what a cute face~ go deeper.

icy hands lurch for your waist, making you wail as he fucks into you without restraint. the bedsheets crumple as you grip them for support. he can feel himself growing increasingly erratic by the thrust, if the aggressive creaking of your shared bed was anything to go by. years of discipline go down the drain as cruel king completely lets himself go. "my- my love, gh.. i—i'm getting closer-.." unable to form coherent sentences, you respond with a strained sob. luckily, your tightening pussy does all the talking for you. who cares if the whole castle could hear you two fornicating like animals, let them. it's pornographic, the way your sweet moans shamelessly climb higher and higher as you approach your climax. the moonlight produces a shine on the glistening sweat drenching your succulent skin. your cunt clamps down with a vice grip, and you cum all over his cock with a scream. cruel king continues to pound into you, helping you ride out your orgasm. it takes only a few more strokes, and with a growl, he's pulling out to coat your entire upper body with ropes of semen.

for a while, you two bathe in the afterglow. heavy panting echoes in the room as you remain still. you're still coming down from your high, when the king is the first to move. he grabs a tissue from the nightstand and gently cleans you first. starting from your lower region then moving up to your chest, he begins to wipe off his fluids. "apologies for the mess, dearest. i, er, got a bit carried away there.." through an awkward cough, he whispers an apology. now that he's snapped out of his little frenzy, the king returns to his usual modest demeanor. his hand tenderly cradling your reddened cheek wakes you from your trance, and you grin. "it's alright, i think i'm plenty warmed up now," you snuggle into the thick blanket for emphasis. mm, toasty. a smile creeps onto cruel king's lips as he works on cleaning himself. "good, good." once he finishes, he nestles into bed with you. already, you've peacefully dozed off like you didn't just get absolutely railed. he can't stop himself from reaching out and affectionately stroking your head, you're just too cute. knowing you're able to comfortably rest now, cruel king allows himself to let sleep take him.

...

the next morning, you wake up running high with a fever, as well as a very concerned and remorseful cruel king fretting over you. worth it though. (parade postscript: OMG THIS ONE TOOK SOOOO LONG TO CHURN OUT SORRYY ive literally been sick for the last few weeks and it wont go away :[ but oh my goodness i started this fic not really caring for cruel king or finding him that attractive, but i ended it feeling ... enlightened like zamn.. that old man bad asf!!! this ended up being wayyy lengthier than all my other stuff bc its a fluff AND a smut but i hope its good im still not very confident in my smut writing abilities :'])

[writerblue275]

Heartsteel!Kayn NSFW Alphabet (18+)

Previous Members: Ezreal

Inspiration: I mean A. feral hours. B. This is for @mysticdelphox97 and everyone else who is absolutely wrecked by Kayn. 😏 Enjoy! (Again used the NSFW alphabet template from @the-coldest-goodbye.)

Champion: Heartsteel Kayn

Genre: Headcanon

Type: HAHAHAHA NSFW. COMPLETELY NSFW. 18+ ONLY. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

Gender: Gender Neutral Reader

TW: Swearing, discussion of NSFW activities/kinks. Ex: Semi-public sex, mention of BDSM. Smutty as FUCK.

Extra: Implied settled relationship!

LOOK AT THIS SEXY FUCKER!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Fully believe Kayn is better at aftercare than people might think him to be. Yes he can be wild in bed and take a lot, but he also gives a lot. He’s not a selfish lover. He cares deeply about you and wants to make sure you’re fully enjoying yourself with him. He understands that extends to aftercare, especially after an intense session. Will wash you off and help you into a bath/shower and get any snacks/beverage you might need.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Himself: His hands. He loves how you respond when he tugs your hair and moves his hands around your body. His hands can do a lot of good things and he knows it.

His partner: Your lips. Whether wrapped around various parts of him, kissing his neck, moaning his name, when he’s nipping them, etc…Kayn absolutely loves your lips.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

His absolute favorite place to cum is your mouth. You on your knees waiting with open lips? One of his very favorite sights.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

As discussed in a previous headcanon (HERE), Kayn has a secret phone with photos and videos of you/you and him which he takes on trips. Obviously you know about it and he only started taking videos and pics once you and him talked about everything extensively and you consented to him doing so. Everything on that phone is for your eyes and his eyes only.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing)

Kayn’s probably the most experienced of Heartsteel. Definitely knows what he’s doing (even better for you).

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggy-style. Absolutely doggy-style. Or in general anything where he can hit it from the back. He loves being able to control the pace and being able to pull your hair a little bit (if long enough).

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Can’t see Kayn being super goofy, per say. Teasing? Absolutely, but goofy no. He’s pretty serious/focused/in the zone when it comes down to things.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Keeps things pretty tidy. Definitely doesn’t match the drapes though. (Lmao can you imagine?)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Ok so in general Kayn’s not super romantic when it comes to sex. Definitely a guy who prefers “fucking” to “making love.” But if you ask him, or he can tell you want him to slow it down and be more on the romantic side, he fully can and he does it well. (A/N: I wish there was a better phrase to describe romantic sex because “making love” just sounds so fucking awkward.)

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Oh absolutely he jacks off. No question about it. Probably every day and occasionally multiple times a day. Of course, nothing compares to time with you, but you can’t be around him 24/7 and a guy has to do what a guy has to do.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

HAHAHA It’s easier to say what his kinks aren’t! This sexy motherfucker (affectionate) is kinky as hell.

Some of his big ones though: dirty talk (giving), BDSM, edging/orgasm control (giving), and semi-public sex.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

While he definitely enjoys having you to himself, there really is something about semi-public sex that excites Kayn. The boldness, the risk, the excitement, it all drives him wild.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Kayn is a man with a very high sex drive. It really doesn’t take much to turn him on. Give him bedroom eyes and he’s pulling you into a dark corner to at least make out. He sees you wearing something of his at home? Well let’s just say you won’t be wearing it for very much longer 😉.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Age play. As kinky as he is, age play is just something he cannot get into.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He definitely prefers to receive oral. As stated earlier, seeing you on your knees for him is a sight he absolutely loves. But dont get it twisted, Kayn will gladly reciprocate and it’s something he’s extremely talented at.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Definitely a more “fast and rough” sort of lover. Loves when he’s able to get your noises to the point of only gasps and broken attempts of his name. But again, Kayn can occasionally surprise you and go slow and sensual.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Big fucking fan of quickies. Kayn’s down to have a quickie whenever you are, really. Since he loves semi-public interludes, quickies are a staple for that.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Risk is Kayn’s middle name whether in or out of the bedroom. He’s always down to try something new, especially if it makes things better for you as well. (Again, he’s not selfish as a lover.)

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Oh man Kayn has quite a bit of stamina. In one sitting, he can go like 3-4 rounds as long as there’s a short break in between. His refractory period is remarkably short. If it’s not a quickie he can last around 20 minutes a round, with each following round after the first getting a little shorter.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

This is an interesting thing to consider. Yes Kayn does, but they’re mainly for you. He might have one or two toys for himself, like a cock ring or a plug of some kind, but most toys he has he bought as your physical relationship progressed and he figured out what you enjoy.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Kayn’s a master at teasing you. He will rile you up in public then pull away. He will lean over and whisper something absolutely filthy into your ear at random and inconvenient times where you can’t slip away. He’ll send you NSFW teasing voice messsges and texts. He loves to make you blush and he loves making sure he’s on your mind.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Definitely louder when not risking something semi-public, but even then he can’t fully silence himself. Low growls, groans, moans, and dirty talk galore, Kayn will audibly express his pleasure.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Will absolutely fuck as Rhaast, mask on and everything, and his intensity is turned up to 14/10. Like those are the truly wild nights, but boy are they fun as hell.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Around 6”. Fairly thick with a little curve to one side at the tip.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

No question Kayn has the highest sex drive in Heartsteel. He just really enjoys sex and enjoys having it often.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

During nights with you Kayn definitely doesn’t fall asleep immediately. He’s up for a little bit, making sure you’re alright and even cuddling or partaking in some surprisingly intimate and occasionally vulnerable pillow talk. This is the time when his walls are the most down.

[redrose10]

Here is Chapter 17! There’s going to be one more little chapter that I’ll post in a day or two that is pretty much just pure fluff. But chapter 17 basically closes out this story. Thank you to everyone that has read and stuck with me through this. I know the story got a little all over the place at times, but this is the first multi chapter fic I’ve ever written and I never planned for it to go this far to be honest. I appreciate all of the comments and messages as always!

I posted a teaser for a new story that I’ll start releasing in about a week or so and I might also have this idea for a little Drabble series type thing about a relationship between Yoongi and his co-worker (Y/N) and how their relationship blossoms while he’s fulfilling his military requirements through his civil service assignment.

Yoongi X Female Reader. CEO/Arranged Marriage AU

Summary: You were selected to marry the wayward CEO/Billionaire/Heir, Min Yoongi. You went into it with an open mind and heart determined to try and make it work. Yoongi on the other hand had no intention of ever letting you in let alone allowing himself to fall in love with you. Slowly you start to associate the smell of cinnamon and vanilla with the feelings of hurt and sorrow.

Word count: 2,496

Warnings: (May get updated as chapters progress): Arranged marriage, cheating/infidelity, hints of smut (Probably won’t get very explicit but we’ll see how it goes), Sexual Assault, Brief mentions of death, Reader grew up an orphan, General Angst, Swearing

Tag list: @gimeow @kam9404 @viankiss @baechugff @gaby-93 @kayleefriedchicken @igot7fairlyoddparents @jalexad @drrookie

Your eyes kept switching between Yoongi, Mia, and Suri. Jin already looked like he’d rather be anywhere else besides sitting at this table right now. Yoongi hadn’t taken his eyes off of Mia and you weren’t sure who was enjoying it more, her or Suri. Finally after what seemed like hours Yoongi walked forward taking a seat across from Mia and you followed close behind taking a seat next to him.

Mia reached across to grab his hand and to your surprise he let her. A small blush crept across his cheeks. “Yoongles how have you been? You’re looking really good.”, she spoke making you roll your eyes at the nickname.

Your attention was pulled elsewhere when Suri suddenly called your name, “Y/N, I doubt Yoongi ever told you, but him and Mia were engaged. Unfortunately it didn’t work out. They make such a cute couple though, don’t you think?” You glared at Suri while you tried to figure out her game. She wants Yoongi so bad, but here she is gloating about what a great couple Mia and him were.

“Yoongles we should get together sometime. You know maybe get dinner or something. Then we can go back to your place and I can do that thing for you that I know you like.”, she said with a smirk running her fingers up and down his hand. Yoongi still hadn’t said anything since the two of you walked in the door. You’re not sure what came over you, but you reached over ripping his hand out of her reach and pulling it down onto your lap, “No thank you. He has a WIFE who’s more than willing to do anything and everything that he likes and more so he doesn’t need some cheating, selfish, gold digger like yourself in his life.” Everyone at the table looked at you with wide eyes and jaws dropped surprised by your little outburst. For the first time Yoongi acknowledged you by giving your hand a little squeeze.

Mia chuckled, “Oh Y/N, he really brainwashed you didn’t he? Do you think he actually cares about you let alone loves you? I heard all about it from Suri. I’m not surprised really. I mean he’s a successful, handsome, wealthy businessman and you are a poor orphan girl who will never be anything other than that. You were nothing more than a good deal to him and his family. A way to boost his image and in turn make him more money. He told me that himself.” You gasped looking to Yoongi for any sign that she was lying. When his expression didn’t change you shoved his hand out of your lap with force. Mia faked a shocked expression, “You mean you didn’t tell her Yoongi? You didn’t tell her about our little meet up a few weeks ago where you told me all about how much you couldn’t stand her and how you regretted this whole marriage?” The entire time this conversation had been taking place Suri has been off to the side reveling in watching it all. She knew bringing Mia back into the mix would be the final nail in the coffin that she needed to get you out of their life. Yoongi could never resist his first love.

You could feel the tears begin to form. You didn’t want to cry and show weakness in front of these people, but it seemed like your brain wasn’t going to cooperate. Abruptly standing up you tried to walk off towards the exit, but Yoongi grabbed your wrist begging you to stop, “Y/N please let me explain. It’s not what you think.”

The sound of the slap was probably heard through the entire building. Yoongi winced placing a hand on his reddened cheek. “Don’t ever fucking touch me again Yoongi.”, you whispered before trying to run off only to stop and turn to Suri instead realizing you had some unfinished business.

You wanted to get in her face, but decided to keep your distance reminding yourself that she was pregnant.

“Are you happy now Suri? Is this what you wanted? Look how many lives you’ve ruined and for what? You think you’re so smart and powerful, but in reality you’re an idiot who abuses others for your own personal benefit. You’ll get what’s coming to you one day.”

She stood there smiling at you for a few moments before finally speaking, “Y/N, I told you that I always get what I want and I meant it. I don’t care who or what I have to destroy to do it. I’ve had Yoongi wrapped around my finger for years and I wasn’t going to allow you to take that from me.”

“You’ve blackmailed him for years.”, you cut her off with the correction.

“So fucking what? I blackmailed him. I’ve blackmailed a lot of people. I’ve blackmailed Yoongi, Namjoon, my own brother, and countless other people and I don’t give a fuck. They all deserved it. That’s how I get shit done. Unlike you I won’t stop until I achieve my goal. I don’t just back down and let others walk all over me.”

She was somewhat out of breath after her rant was over with. You were about to respond when a very loud knock at the door stopped you.

“Good grief, it’s about time.”, Jin mumbled as he got up to let them in. Within seconds two detectives came walking over followed by two more police officers handcuffs already out.

One of the officers walked forward towards Suri, “Suri Cho, you are under arrest for the extortion of Yoongi Min, Namjoon Kim, and Han Cho. You are also being charged with making threats against Y/N Min and Mia Park. We don’t want to have to put you in handcuffs in your current condition so please come with us peacefully.”

“W-What? No absolutely not! I haven’t done anything wrong.”, she said backing herself against the wall.

“Miss Cho, please come with us.”, the officer said inching closer.

“I have not done anything wrong. You have no proof of any of these charges you are putting against me.”

From the corner of the room Jin cleared his throat. “Actually, here are transcripts of texts, voicemails, and emails between Suri and Namjoon as well as the paternity test confirming the identity of her unborn child. Here is the recording that we ourselves obtained of her confessing to blackmailing Yoongi for years.”, he said handing over everything that he had pulled out of his bag. “You guys also have the live feed that you just obtained with the help of Mia.”, Jin reminded them while zipping up his bag before throwing Suri a smug look.

“What?!”, she shouted looking over at the woman still sitting across from you.

“Did you have something to do with this? I asked you for help! How could you betray me like this?”, Suri shouted.

Mia walked over to one of the detectives and gave his cheek a kiss before turning her attention back to Suri with a smirk. She opened up her blouse slightly to reveal a microphone, “Maybe next time you want help breaking the law don’t contact and threaten someone who happens to be married to one of the top detectives in the country.”

Suri looked stunned.

“Miss Cho, it’s time to come with us.”, one of the officers repeated. Suri looked at all of you with tears of anger in her eyes before following after the officers. You felt a sudden sense of relief watching her walk out of your home.

“Well that was eventful. Thank you everyone for your hard work in orchestrating this. I didn’t realize I was surrounded by so many actors. Yoongi and Y/N I’ll be in contact as you will have to be summoned for questioning. Mia, weird seeing you again. Don’t cheat on your husband, he seems nice. Stay classy as always.”, Jin spoke before grabbing his belongings and also heading out the door.

Yoongi walked over to you wrapping an arm around your waist as you both looked over at Mia hoping she’d get the hint. Awkwardly she shuffled her feet while rubbing her arm.

“So I’m glad everything worked out. I was really worried she’d loose it. I had been ignoring her for a while thinking she’d eventually give up on this whole crazy idea, but when she came to me saying she was pregnant and that she was going to claim it wasn’t consensual I knew I had to reach out to you guys. I think she realized everything was starting to fall apart and she was getting desperate and even more delusional.”

“Uh yeah that’s why we decided to get the police involved. Originally we didn’t want to, but the longer this went on and the crazier she got we knew that simply just threatening her wouldn’t do anything.”, Yoongi responded.

“I just feel bad for the baby. That’s the only reason I didn’t want her to get arrested like this.”, you sighed.

Mia smiled, “Don’t worry. I’m sure they’ll work something out for her. Maybe house arrest or something. I’ll have my husband talk to the prosecutor.”

The air was filled with awkward silence until Mia finally started putting on her coat and heading to the door with you and Yoongi following behind to see her out.

“Maybe we could hang out some time. Go on a double date or something now that we’ve grown up and moved past what happened between us.”, she chuckled looking at Yoongi. You had a hard time reading his expression, but it looked like you could still detect a hint of admiration in his eyes as he looked at his past love. Your heart filled with sadness or maybe jealousy, you weren’t really sure.

“Listen Mia, I really appreciate everything you’ve done for us with this Suri situation and I really do thank you. But having you in my life isn’t good for me any more. I’ve spent years hating you and hating myself because of what you did to me. I tried my hardest to make Y/N hate me because I didn’t think I could ever love someone again the way I loved you. I have learned to forgive you though and I’ve finally gotten to a point where I feel that it’s okay to let go of that part of my life and move on while looking forward to the future with Y/N. So we are going to politely decline the invite and while I wish you nothing but happiness for the rest of your life, respectfully please get out of my house and I hope we never have to see each other again.”

You looked on with a shocked expression waiting for her to blow up, but instead she smiled and nodded, “I understand. Glad I could help with this though. Best of luck to you both.”

After the door closed behind her you and Yoongi walked into the kitchen so he could grab a drink. He still seemed a little shaken up. While he was sipping on his water you walked up behind and wrapped your arms around his waist.

“I love you.”, you mumbled into his back.

He chuckled before turning around to face you, “I love you too Y/N.” He leaned in to give you a kiss and you reciprocated the action. He winced a little before lightly rubbing his cheek, “I know I agreed to the slap to make it more believable, but I really didn’t think you were going to hit me as hard as you could like that.”

“I know I’m sorry. I got a little carried away, but I’ve been wanting to do that for a while. Plus Mia got me a little more heated than I thought she would when she was saying all that stuff.”, you giggled.

“Yeah something tells me that she wasn’t completely acting.”

You smiled, “Yeah well something tells me I wasn’t completely acting when I called her a selfish, cheating, gold digger either.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck to bring him closer and get a better look at his cheek, “Come here, I’ll kiss it better.”,

He smirked, “Well if that’s the case I have a few other places that are a little sore too.”

Rolling your eyes you grabbed his hand and pulled him down towards the bedroom.

After he was sat down on the bed you straddled his lap and began placing kisses along his jaw and neck, but you quickly noticed he seemed distracted. Pulling away you followed his line of sight and saw that he was staring at his dresser.

“Everything okay?”, you asked getting off of him and taking a seat on the bed instead.

He shook his head before walking over to the dresser grabbing a familiar red bottle. He popped off the top and the room immediately filled with the very familiar scent of cinnamon and vanilla. Something that you had grown to despise. A scent that at one point would make you feel sick to your stomach. Until one day it didn’t and instead it started to smell like the comfort it was advertised as.

Yoongi stared down at the bottle in his hands before he laughed, “Mia first bought me this cologne as a gift for Christmas many years ago. I was never a huge fan of it, but she would always go on and on about how much she loved it. I continued to buy it just to make her happy. Then even after we broke up I still bought it because I didn’t want to let that part of me go. I guess I thought if I kept using this cologne I could trick myself into thinking it never happened and keep that part of my life with me forever.”

He paused for a moment before scoffing to himself, “Looking back that was pretty stupid. The cologne had nothing to do with it and I was just using it to cover up my true emotions that I didn’t want to face.”

You walked over resting your head on his shoulder and began rubbing his back, “It’s not stupid Yoongi. You did what you had to do to cope. You can keep it or you can throw it away and we’ll get you something different. It’s up to you.”

He stared into your eyes before nodding and walking into the bathroom and not long after you heard a loud clank from the glass hitting the bottom of the trash can. A few seconds later he emerged with a gummy smile looking like he felt lighter and happier than he had in a while.

He walked over and placed his hands on your hips before turning you around and falling back onto the bed pulling you on top of him,

“Now Mrs. Min, where were we?”

[icyg4l]

Pick-A-Poet: How Can You Heal Your Ancestral Trauma?

Paid Readings

Hello people, thank you for your patience. In honor of Black History Month, I am dedicating a series to Black American icons. This post is dedicated to Black American poets. Below, there will be a quote that was chosen from one of their poems to go along with the reading. The deck that will be used in this series is the Hoodoo Tarot deck. Without further ado, please pick the poet that stands out to you.

***Disclaimer: Some topics may be triggering to whomever is viewing.

Left-to-Right (1-3): Maya Angelou, Countee Cullen, Reneé Watson.

“Love strikes away the chains of fear from our souls” - Maya Angelou, Touched by an Angel.

Cards Used: Three of Coins, Dr. Buzzard, Dem Bones (RX), Mother of Baskets, Ten of Coins, Strength.

Pile One: For those of you that resonated with the quote from Maya Angelou, I have a question for you. You do know that you don’t have to be anyone’s ride or die, right? You are loyal to a fault. But it’s literally within your bloodline to be that way. There could be someone in your family who was scapegoated, falsely accused of a crime or could have went to jail for something that was easily avoidable. I heard, “Make it right. Do what’s best for you.” You could be in the process of making a life changing decision right now but the air is foggy. It’s okay to be selfish, if it means you’ll be led down the right path. You don’t need to follow what everyone else is doing. Your ancestors want you to know that you don’t need to be so hard on yourself either. Compassionate TLC is what you need to give yourself. I keep seeing images of quick weave hairstyles in my head & my head got itchy while I was doing this reading. I think you need to take a break from these & let your scalp breathe. Let yourself breathe in general. For those of you that are darker skinned, there is a female ancestor (grandmother or aunt) that wants you to know it’s okay to experiment with your personal style. I’m channeling Doechii’s energy. You don’t seem to be conventional, they respect it. So don’t be scared to look different. People will always have something to say but your beauty is admired by all.

“Death cut the strings that gave me life, and handed me to sorrow” - Countee Cullen, Saturday’s Child.

Cards Used: Black Herman, Ace of Knives, Nine of Knives, Eight of Coins, Aunt Caroline, Daughter of Knives, Three of Knives, Six of Baskets.

Pile Two: You do know that you don’t have much to worry about, right? Throughout American history, we have seen the documented struggles of Black Americans. With each generation, the next would have one less thing to worry about. Your ancestors want to tell you that you are more privileged than you think you are. You tend to worry about things that are out of your control. I feel that a lot of you could have dealt with unexpected death a lot in the past couple of years, specifically dealing with the lungs/heart. Your ancestors could have a history of heart disease/lung disease. This could have been a family member that you drifted apart from & you feel guilty for it. But there’s nothing that you can do to change the past, my love! What you can do is take care of your physical body. Join the gym. Drink lemon water. Eat when you feel like it & don’t label any foods are ‘good’ or ‘bad’. I heard someone coughing; you should avoid smoking cigarettes & weed as well or really any substance intake. Eat bananas too! You can only control what goes on with I also feel that some of your ancestors could have been hypochondriacs, had OCD or suffered from religious delusions. I would considering talking to a therapist if you feel that you’re headed down that path. Make decisions that are beneficial to your freedom but remember to count your blessings.

“Our bodies, a mosaic of languages forgotten, of freedom songs and moaned prayers” - Black Girls Rising, Reneé Watson.

Cards Used: Big Mama, Miss Ida, Ace of Sticks, Mother of Sticks, Six of Knives and Three of Sticks.

Pile Three: You’ve been saying you’re going to move out of the city you’re in for too long. Get out and stop talking about your plans to relocate. Your ancestors don’t think that there is anything there for you anymore. Your family could have lived in this city for decades but it’s changed so much that you don’t even recognize it anymore. Some of you could be from the East Coast, specifically Philly or Baltimore. You need to get out before you talk yourself into circles again. Some of y’all could be in school about to finish up a degree; keep going. A grandmother spirit is so so so proud of you. Before you relocate, take some days off to visit so that you can see what this new city is like. Many of your ancestors were not able to make plans and go through with them because of unfortunate life situations. Teen/unexpected pregnancy, severe mental illness and/or murder could have been factors that prevented them from following their dreams. If teen pregnancy runs in the family, you should acknowledge this as a fear of yours so that you can make smart decisions in regard to sex rather than making costly choices. Also, practice safe sex with a partner that is equally as conscious as you. Your ancestors want you to know that you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. You have bright ideas and you should share them with the world. Be confident in your spotlight. You deserve to take up space.