#and my favourite performance of Take Me With You

[panelshowsource]

random things to watch over the holiday break

happy holidays friends (⸝⸝^ᴗ^⸝⸝)❄️ as many of us have time off from our normal schedules, are taking long-haul flights or car drives, and will be spending hours in broom closets to avoid our terrifying families, i figure this is the perfect time to look back on the year and put together some watch links for over the break ❄️❄️❄️

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panel shows

the christmas special of never mind the buzzcocks is always...something else

speaking of, icymi in a panel show miracle earlier this year an anonymous source provided beautiful archival copies of the first 12 series of nmtb — so this is the perfect time to revisit its classic era!!

junior taskmaster just wrapped up its first season! very wholesome, for the whole family (don't forget to check out the taskmaster podcast discussions for each episode, hosted by ed gamble!)

there were some great eps of cats does countdown this year but this one was probably my standout<3

because this series is on sky so we have to be careful circulating it, not everyone got a chance to watch rob beckett's smart tv when it aired this year! some of the panel guests include natasia demetriou, nicola coughlan, david tennant, romesh, and alan davies, among others

idk if this is controversial but i think the australian guy mont spelling bee MIGHT be better than the new zealand version... i'm not sure yet... i need someone else to watch every single episode and tell me what my opinion should be. i also want to thank this show for teaching me how to spell vinaigrette

this, this, and this were some of my favourite episodes of wilty this year!! btw the 2024 christmas episode just dropped!

there were a lot of wild lineups on mel giedoryc: unforgivable this year, but i'd recommend just starting with the first episode of the latest series because..well you'll understand when you see it

this year i made three big lists of random panel show moments that, in my humble opinion, you will love wasting your holidays hours clicking through: part 1 / part 2 / part 3

misc. tv

the royal variety performance 2024

the completely made up adventures of dick turpin was renewed for s2 so make sure to catch up!!! it's SO stupid hahaha

on a similar, less stupid note, ludwig will also be back for s2!

we're all still missing sean lock, who passed away three years ago, so it's never a bad time to revisit 15 storeys high — especially now that we have upgraded rips!

listen jon and lucy may be divorced but that doesn't make meet the richardsons any less iconic and the last two episodes just released!

s2 of alma's not normal is out this year and doing such amazing things for our sophie willan!!

this was a bit under the radar but backstage with katherine ryan was really fun! i love the mostly-documentary concept and it's one of my favourite things to see the backstage culture between these random comedians (judi x ivo killed me)

rhod gilbert's stand up to cancer documentary was really beautiful ;;

am i being unreasonable? (written by & starring daisy may cooper, from this country) is one of my underrated scripted comedies of the year

paddy mcguinness on who do you think you are

in the new jimmy carr-hosted game show battle in a box, pairs of celebs (mostly comedians) are trapped in an empty box for 24 hours, forced to play a series of mental and physical challenges. if you like the lineup then it's worth checking out!

it's christmas. just follow tradition and watch fry & laurie.

standup

ahir shah – ends (2024)

fern brady – austistic bikini queen (2024)

harriet kemsley – everything always works out for me (2024)

lucy beaumont – live from the royal court theatre (2024)

john kearns – the varnishing days (2023–4)

rhys james – spilt milk (2024)

suzi ruffell – snappy (2024)

tony law – the law also rises (2024)

films

monty python and the holy grail (1975) dir. terry gilliam, terry jones

withnail and i (1987) dir. bruce robinson

gosford park (2001) dir. robert altman

the personal history of david copperfield (2019) dir. armando iannucci

how to have sex (2023) dir. molly manning walker

rye lane (2023) dir. raine allen-miller

scrapper (2023) dir. charlotte regan

kneecap (2024) dir. rich peppiatt

youtube

been enjoying the dish podcast this year!! some of my favourite episodes include claudia winkleman, jordan north & william hanson, saoirse-monica jackson, gordon ramsay, sandi toksvig, richard e. grant, matthew macfadyen, and stephen fry

sandi toksvig hugging guests (2024 edition)

obsessed with this house tour with richard e grant

phil wang was on jolly?? it was fun to see his house

don't sleep on the taskmaster outtakes content!

radio & podcasts

green wing came back for a 6-part radio series and warmed all of our hearts<3

some of my favourite episodes of off menu this year: elis james, john robins, sam campbell, frankie boyle, lucy beaumont, jess knappett, joe wilkinson, tommy tiernan, ardal o'hanlon, huge davies (one of the all-time clips), danny dyer (this one is truly crazy on the ears can't recommend it enough)

the horne section podcast was back for a few episodes!!! if you've never listened before, start with this classic episode you're welcome

susie dent and phil wang have adorable chemistry on this new radio game show

david o'doherty and max rushden started a new podcast about what people did yesterday that has had lots of fun guests! start here if you need to give it a taste

a few RHLSTP episodes worth giving a listen: lee mack, bob mortimer, armando iannucci, rob brydon, peter serafinowicz, ade edmondson, fern brady, among others. if you find your patience waning, he's doing a couple of 'best of 2024' eps! richard's really been focused on his book podcast this year

books

frankie boyle & charlie skelton – a short history of the apocalypse: the vital guide to your future survival (2024)

miranda hart – i haven't been entirely honest with you (2024)

richard osman – we solve murders (2024)

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i could go on forever but i've got to stop somewhere heh... looking forward to big fat quiz and more mindless telly in 2025! have a wonderful holiday x sarah

PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS • NON-PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS ♥ https://ko-fi.com/panelshowsource

[sillymommy6969]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝕰XES & Os

Lara Raj x fem!reader

summary: you’ve been seeing lara for a while and she’s finally invited you to see them perform at an award show from the vip lounge, but you didn’t expect to see the last person you’d want to run into on the way to the bathroom, and lara isn’t too happy when she spots the both of you from onstage

warnings: nsfw, suggestive/sexual themes, hickeys, biting, rough!lara, dom!lara, jealousy, possessive!lara, semi-public!sex, car!sex, teasing, dirty talk

Y/N adjusted her dress—red, lara insisted she sported her favourite colour for good luck—smoothing the fabric over her hips as the bass from the concert hall vibrated through the walls of the VIP lounge. Tonight was a special night. Lara had personally invited her as her plus one to this show—a full house for some award show.

She had the perfect view of the stage—of Katseye.

Y/N had heard Lara sing before at Katseye concerts, but seeing her command an entire stage with her group was going to be such a new experience. The anticipation of watching her girlfriend in her element sent a thrill through Y/N’s body.

The woman decided to step out for a moment before the show began. The hallways were bustling with staff and a few other VIP guests milling about. There were tables on tables of food and drinks ordered perfectly, before a fancy bar offering many tapped kinds of beer. Y/N barely had a chance to orient herself and take in the room when she collided with someone.

“Oh, sorry!” Y/N started, but her voice faltered as she looked up and locked eyes with a familiar face.

Billie Eilish O’Connell.

“Y/N?” Billie’s scoffed, her voice like a melody she hadn’t heard in years but still recognized instantly. Her ex’s trademark smirk tugged at the corner of her lips. “Wow, it’s been a while.” Her eyes raked over the red, silky dress hugging Y/N in all the right spots. “You look… good.”

Y/N’s heart sunk. Of all places, why here? Why tonight? She cleared her throat, trying to maintain composure. “Yeah, it has. What’re you doing here?”

“I’m performing tonight,” Billie said casually, brushing her red rooted hair back. “And you? Who’re you here for?”

Y/N hesitated, debating how much to share. “My girlfriend, Lara invited me.”

“Lara?” Billie’s smirk widened knowingly. “As in Lara Raj from Katseye? I always knew you liked a woman with a bold hair colour,” she joked, “Small world, hm?”

Y/N nodded, suddenly feeling self-conscious. Billie’s piercing gaze always had a way of making her feel exposed, even when there was nothing to hide. Before she could figure out how to end the conversation gracefully, a deep voice called out. It could only be whom used to be one of Y/N’s more familiar friends, Finneas. “Hey, Billie! We’re needed backstage!”

“Coming!” Billie called back before turning to Y/N. “Well, it was nice seeing you again. Maybe we’ll catch up later?”

“Sure,” Y/N lied, already dreading another conversation.

Billie leant forward for a quick hug, her hand placed securely on Y/N’s waist before pulling away with a grin.

As Billie disappeared down the hallway, Y/N exhaled shakily. The timing couldn’t have been worse. She knew Lara wouldn’t be thrilled about her talking to her ex, especially not tonight of all nights. Y/N made her way back to the VIP lounge, hoping to put the encounter out of her mind.

The concert was electric. Katseye’s energy was infectious, and Lara shone brighter than the stage lights. Her voice soared, her movements captivated, and Y/N couldn’t take her eyes off her. Every so often, Lara’s gaze seemed to flick toward the VIP lounge, and Y/N felt her cheeks flush under the weight of her attention. It was impossible for Y/N’s voice to go any louder, she practically lost her voice shrieking her girlfriend’s name as they moved around the stage for “Touch”.

Lara made sure to blow a kiss her way before they ended.

A couple more acts came on after Katseye, all delivering unique performances. When Billie sauntered onstage, the audience erupted. Y/N froze in her seat as the spotlight illuminated her ex. She watched Billie and Finneas exchange a quick nod before the music started. Their voices blended beautifully, creating a hauntingly powerful harmony. But as Y/N’s eyes darted between them, she couldn’t shake the tension knotting in her stomach.

Toward the end of the song, something caught her off guard. Billie’s eyes flicked toward the VIP lounge—toward her. It was brief, but it didn’t go unnoticed.

And backstage, watching the dozens of screens streaming different angles of the show, it was nearly impossible for Lara to miss the deliberate motions Billie seemed to throw her the VIP lounge. Initially, she thought she was crazy, there were a couple other people standing behind the glass of the lounge, it could have been to anybody. But, after a wink, a blown kiss and intense eye contact as she moaned in apart of the song “Bitches Broken Hearts”, she was almost certain her girlfriend, standing out amidst the others in that linen dress, was the target of Billie’s affection.

And the girls’ teasing just seemed to solidify the theory.

“Damn, Billie’s really coming for your girl, huh?” Manon joked, nudging a tense Lara with her elbow, “Look at her face.”

Daniela exhaled deeply, “I could feel the heats from here.”

Megan whistled, fanning herself. “Can you blame her? Y/N’s looking mighty fine in that dress.”

Sophia playfully shoved her in the shoulder as she eyed the tight clench of Lara’s jaw. “Don’t go instigating, guys. There’s like twelve other people standing in that VIP box.”

Yoonchae tilted her head, before pointing at something on one of the screens. “Is Billie… pointing?”

The six members gathered around the screens, their headsets and mic’s still clutched in their hands. It looked to be Billie standing from her seat beside Finneas. And as the man played the tune to “I Didn’t Change My Number”, Billie walked her way to the edge of the stage, gazing over thousands of fans reaching for her and letting out shrill screams. But her own gaze landed on the woman up in the VIP lounge, shimmering red beneath the showcase lights. Her hand rose to point at the woman as she belched a particular line, a line she had written for her when reminiscing on the times Billie would love waking to this woman’s bare back.

Lara knew of Y/N’s past, her friendship then turned brief but toxic relationship with Billie. Y/N had assured her many, many times there was nothing there anymore, they don’t even talk, but the way Billie seemed to be flaunting her feelings for her girlfriend was like waving red before a bull.

She was going to fucking murder Billie Eilish.

Assisted backstage by Katseye’s manager after the concert, Y/N waited anxiously, knowing she’d have to face Lara sooner or later. She was excited to jump into her girlfriend’s arms, showering her with kisses and praise for how good she did onstage. She hoped to explain everything in case she had seen the whole Billie fiasco, but fate had other plans.

“Oh, hey!” Billie called out. She was catching her breath, sweat dripping from her head with her hair clipped up lousily. She had a bottle of water in her hand, half-drunk and crushed in between her fingers. “Did you enjoy the show?”

Y/N swallowed, nodding politely. “Yeah, you were good.”

“Yeah?” Billie smirked, looking down to wet her lips as she capped the bottle. “I was hoping you’d like it.”

The woman glanced past the singer’s shoulder to scout for her girlfriend or somebody from Katseye who could get her out of this situation. “Yeah, I really enjoyed the show. Hey, maybe we should catch up some other day over drinks, yeah?”

Billie tilted her head, “Really? I’d love that.”

She pulled her phone out her pocket, “I’ll text you a time and place. You still have the same number?”

From behind Y/N, Katseye had changed into the outfits they came in. They were laughing and chatting about the success of their performance. But Lara was ahead of the group, buzzing on her feet in excitement to see her girlfriend.

“Oh my God, is Y/N… talking to Billie Eilish?” Daniel gasped, “Wait, Lara, I didn’t know your girlfriend was friends with her. Maybe she could introduce us.”

But Lara stopped in her tracks, staring at the singer inching closer to her woman with a phone in her hand. She was sporting that signature smirk, her sleepy eyes drinking in the perfect skin to dress ratio her get-up offered. Without another thought, she strode over.

Y/N felt big hands palm her waist, sliding down and around her back. Warm lips met her cheek, before a taller figure loomed over her and alluring dark eyes met her own. She was basking in that post-performance afterglow and she looked ethereal. Before Y/N could greet her girlfriend or contain the excitement she felt suddenly surge from her head to her feet. Lara was already glaring at Billie, who just looked between them with an eyebrow raised.

“Hey, baby” Y/N started, the smile on her face spreading as she grabbed Lara’s face, pressing a couple kisses against her cheek. “You were incredible tonight.”

“Thanks,” Lara said curtly, her attention still trained on Billie, who brushed her nose and looked away. Her grip on the shorter’s waist tightened, fingers making its mark on her skin beneath the dress. She nodded towards Billie, who slipped her hand in her pocket. “What’s good? I’m Lara.”

“Billie.” The latter stuck a hand out, but retreated when Lara didn’t seem to entertain the offer for a handshake. “I’m a big fan. You guys looked amazing out there.”

“Mhm. What’re you guys talking about?”

“Nothing, baby, we were just catching up.” Y/N’s hand rested on Lara’s chest, fingertips caressing the fabric of her top in attempts to soothe the seething rage from the singer. “I was just saying goodbye to Billie. I’ll, uh—see you around?”

Billie nodded, winking. “See you around then, pretty girl.”

As she turned to leave, Lara pried herself from Y/N’s grasp. Her jaw locked and her fist clenched, she would have thrown a punch if Sophia and Y/N hadn’t held her back. The girls circled around the couple, keeping the redhead from getting in any trouble cameras could potentially catch.

“Lara, baby, please!” Y/N gasped, both hands on Lara’s chest as the taller looked over her shoulder at Billie disappearing into her dressing room.

“What the fuck is her problem, doesn’t she see me here?”

“Just let it go, it’s what Billie does, she’s trying to get a rise out of you.” The younger fixed the hair that fell into Lara’s face, gently cradling her face. Sophia motioned for the other girls to leave the two of them alone, they slipped away to the Katseye lounge for the afterparty. “Breathe, baby.”

Lara huffed, her lip twitched. Her nostrils flared as her jaw remained clenched, still looking anywhere but at Y/N.

Still, she didn’t reject her girlfriend’s touch.

Y/N’s arms circled around Lara’s neck, her fingers nipping at the baby hairs under her waves. Her body leant into Lara’s, gently tugging her into an embrace.

When she pulled away, Lara’s harsh grip on her hips softened.

“What the fuck was that? ‘Pretty girl’?” She scoffed.

“This is what she does, you can’t let her get to you.” She assured, “Billie’s just being… Billie.”

“And the fucking serenading? Is there something you wanna tell me, Y/N? She was singing and pointing at you during all her fucking sex songs.” Lara grunted, crossing her arms. “What, it’s just a fucking coincidence she was looking straight at the lounge of all the places she could’ve looked at?”

“Baby, you’re being ridiculous.” Y/N sighed, “I told her I was here with you. It’s not like that.”

“Really? After that whole show she put on onstage?” Lara’s jaw tightened. “And you just happened to run into her tonight? Backstage? With her all up on you like a slobbering dog even when she knew you’re here for me?”

“I didn’t plan it,” Y/N said quickly. “I bumped into her when I was tryna look for you. We only talked for a minute, I swear.”

Lara’s eyes searched Y/N’s face, her walls firmly up. “She was staring at you the whole, fucking thing. Do you have any idea how that looked? To me? To the audience?”

“I’m sorry,” Y/N said, stepping closer. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I only have eyes for you, Lara. Billie doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.”

Lara hesitated, her tough exterior cracking just slightly. “I shouldn’t have left you alone.”

“No, you had other things to worry about,” Y/N said earnestly. “You worked so hard for this, and I didn’t want to distract you. I’m sorry for talking to her, she just wanted to catch up.”

Lara sighed, her shoulders relaxing a fraction. “It’s not just about tonight. It’s about how I feel when I see you with someone like Billie—someone who clearly still wants to fuck you. Have you seen the way she was ogling you like you were a piece of meat?” She took the brown leather jacket she had on off, draping it over Y/N’s shoulders. “This pretty little body should just be for me, you got it? Me. Not Billie.”

“Lara,” Y/N gasped, feeling the taller’s hands palm her ass.

“I wanna hear you say it, baby girl,” Lara looked down at her girlfriend’s body, her eyes darkening and her lips slightly parted. Her hand slid beneath the base of Y/N’s dress. “Who does this body belong to, hm?”

“You, baby,” Y/N moaned softly, “Only you.”

Without warning, Lara closed the distance between them, capturing Y/N’s lips in a fierce, possessive kiss. Y/N’s breath hitched, but she melted into it, letting Lara’s touch silence every worry. Lara’s hands moved to Y/N’s waist, pulling her closer as if to claim her in front of the world.

When they finally broke apart, Lara’s eyes burned with intensity. “Come on.”

Y/N doesn’t even remember how they guys got there, but they were parked in an empty lot somewhere on the way back to the dorms. She was too focused on Lara’s hand inching higher and higher each minute as she sped down the streets. Then, Lara would hop out the car, circling around to pop open the door on the passenger’s side. Y/N let out a loud squeal as the Indian leant in to pick her out, carrying her in her arms. She kicked the door closed, opening the one in the back and gently setting the younger inside.

Getting in, Lara cramped herself in between the woman’s legs, closing the car door behind her.

As she leant down to push her own jacket off her girlfriend’s shoulders, her free hand raked up the woman’s bare thigh, scrunching her red dress. The two of them were making out like two animals in heat, a complete mess. The Indian’s teeth grazed the skin of her jaw, trailing wet kissed down her neck to her collarbone. Her lips latched onto the smooth skin of her chest, sucking red, dark bruises onto her.

“Fuck, I love this colour on you.” Lara growled into their neck, her hands caressing the curve of her hips.

With her mascara running and her lipgloss smudged, Y/N looked up at Lara’s darkening eyes taking in her disheveled look. The straps of your spaghetti dress were already halfway down your arms. She smirked, “I prefer it off of me.”

Her hands had found their way under her dress, fingers lacing into the waistband of her red laced thong. She rubbed her clit through the fabric, drawing out a moan from Y/N’s lips.

Growing frustrated with the fabric, she slid them off her legs.

Automatically Y/N spread her legs, giving Lara better access to her glistening pussy.

"Aww, baby. Look how wet you are for me." She teased as she rubs her bud gently. “You this wet for Billie too?”

The car filled with the sound of their bodies shifting, fabric rustling, and harsh breaths as they both grapple for control. Lara’s fingers grabbed one of her legs, throwing it over her shoulder, her fingertips digging into her skin, while Y/N’s hands tangle in her hair, pulling roughly. The younger woman shook her head, whimpers escaping her swollen lips.

“Please, Lara, don’t tease.”

Lara pulled away quickly, hand raising to grab Y/N’s cheeks harshly. She whimpered at the loss of friction, fingers reaching down the older’s back, nails scratching lines into her skin. Y/N bucked her hips into the knee between her legs, needing more.

Y/N can't help but focus on the sensation of her leg between hers, the friction sparking a tickle within her. She ground against her harder, the heat building between your legs, and she let out a soft moan, her head falling back against the seat.

Lara’s hand trailed down her inner thigh, teasingly close to where she need her most.

"Nobody fucks you like I do." Her fingers slip further under her legs, tracing her fingernails against the skin around her core. Y/N can feel the heat of her hand, fingers inching closer, but not close enough. "Say it." she groaned, her lips brushing against her earlobe, sending a shiver down her spine.

Her hips move with the rhythm of her hand, pushing against it, seeking more. "Yes, Lara," Y/N whispered, her voice hoarse with desire, "Nobody fucks me like you do.”

“Mmh, that’s what I thought.” she smirked, her warm breath brushing her cheek as she slowly pulled her hand away, leaving you empty and aching.

She watched her girlfriend squirm under her, a leg still held over her shoulder. Her eyes flicking down to where she was still pressed against her thigh, seeking relief. She spread her legs slightly, allowing her more room to grind against her. “Such a fucking brat, flirting with your ex.”

“Stop being an asshole and fuck me already!” Y/N whined desperately, her nails digging into her shoulders.

She moved her fingers to plunge into her girlfriend. Y/N let out a loud moan.

“At least when I’m an asshole, I have enough gas in the tank to fuck you the way you deserve to be fucked.” she growled, pressing herself against her. “In the back of my car like a whore.”

Lara dove into the crook of the younger’s neck, her teeth sinking into her tender flesh to silence a groan coming from her own throat at the feeling of your cunt around her, starting a steady rhythm, she gripped your hips harder. “You gonna go talk to Billie after this? Show her the marks all over your body?”

The younger moaned loudly, the sound reverberating off the car walls. Her hand grasped at Lara’s hair.

“Shut up and keep fucking me.” she argued back, pushing back against her to meet her thrusts. the force of her movements made the car rock, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the air.

Her moans grew louder and more desperate as she continued to pound into you, one hand moving to grip your hair roughly. “Oh, fuck—God, Lara!—don't stop!'"

Lara’s other hand reached around to rub her clit, her fingers pressing hard against the sensitive nub as she fucked the younger mercilessly. Y/N’s body shook with the force of her movements, her legs trembling on the seat.

She hissed in Y/N’a ear, her breath hot and heavy, “You take me so well, baby,” she bites and sucks, quick to muffle any noises with her mouth, “just obsessed with my fingers, right?”

Y/N arched her back even more, pressing herself against Lara’s hot body as she filled her completely.

“Y-yes. Lara…” she slurred, “You feel so good!”

The windows of the car fogged up as the vehicle rocked violently with each thrust. Lara’s sweat dripped down her arm as she drove into Y/N relentlessly. By the way her legs were shaking, Lara knew she was close. “Cum for me, baby.”

Y/N’s moans grew louder, more urgent, as the pleasure built to an unbearable peak. Lewd noises escaped her parted lips. She clawed at Lara’s back as a powerful orgasm ripped through her. Lara helped her ride out her high, before sliding out. She plugged her fingers straight into her mouth, moaning at the tangy taste. She leant down, ignoring the slight burn she felt along her spine, kissing a panting Y/N’s forehead.

“Next time I see you with her, I’m gonna make her watch as I fuck you silly. Got it?”

[goldenwitherphoenix13]

Welcome to,

Life series, but they are all mermaids, and for some reason XB Crafted is here too

A ruddy stupid, random as shit mermaid AU

If you're wondering who is what, never fear for I am here! Here's a list!

Impulse is a Shark

Skizz is a Remora

Pearl is a deep sea fish (based on multiple fish found in the deep sea)

Gem is a Piranha

Lizzie is an axolotl

Joel is a betta

Tango is a Lemon Shark

Jimmy is a Cod

Scott is a Jellyfish

Cleo is a Zombie fish

Scar is a Catfish

Grian is a parrotfish

Martyn is a Lionfish

Ren is a Wolffish

BigB is a lantern fish

Etho is a leafy sea dragon

Bdubs is a pufferfish

Mumbo is an octopus

And after much convincing by my friend @lonleyzodiac , my friend convinced me to add XB as a Humuhumunukunukuapua'a, or the triggerfish. Yes I watched Octonauts as a kid, how can you tell?

Anyways, basic story time!

At an aquarium by the coast, there is a connecting facility that runs a Mermaid rescue, care and rehabilitation center, focused on giving mers a safe place to stay when they won't be able to survive in the wild or help nurse them back to healthy states so they can be released into the wild again.

Issue is that sometimes the mers can get a bit attatched to the humans and eachother so they refuse to leave.

All other Hermits, Empires members and even the yogcast lot work in the care center. Some of them work in the labs with medicines and understanding Mermaid biology, psychology and other -ologys. Meanwhile the others work with the mers in taking care of needs like food and environment. They also have an action squad who go out and perform actual rescues for mers who are in danger.

Some mers have permanent issues that mean they can't survive properly in the wild so they take up permanent residence. Some you can obviously see such as Mumbo and XB. Mumbo is missing a tentacle and XB lost half his tail. Others are there but harder to see such as Pearl's scars for her missing fins, and Scars scars for how hes constantly finding trouble, and Cleos damaged fins due to their frailty (this does not stop them being a sassy lil shit all the time, they do not care). And then there's Scott who has no sting in his stingers, Tango who has very poor eye sight and immune system, and Grian who was a mer raised out of the ocean and thusly has zero survival instincts.

The others are all there either because they got attatched to eachother or the humans. Some, like Impulse and Skizz, make up for this by actively helping out around the facility by finding other injured Mers outside who need help.

And then others aren't hurt or anything, just there because they already have a bond to other mers who were hurt. Joel is a special case as he is literally just there because he has fallen for Lizzie. Scott mentioned the concept of the word wife once and now it is Joel's favourite word.

And before I get any questions, yes Bdubs is a Mer. He looks like just a pufferfish, but he can speak very clear English.

Oh yeah. You can understand Mermaids when they are underwater, but above the water, they sound like they are talking gibberish. Fun thing is the mers can understand eachother above the surface, it's just humans who can't understand them.

[backwards360]

tell me about your headcanons about the cultural differences between layers plss

- your favourite sister ever

takes a deep deep deep breath. hello niki. my beloved sister. my favoritest sister ever.

the noob layer (before the evil champion)

very very community oriented

block parties (get it) are really popular!!

a lot of sharing and stuff going on

music!! music is a really big thing!!

accent sounds a bit like theyre singing, almost like theyre dancing with words!! they dont pronounce their vowels fully!!

the noob layer (after the evil champion)

community??? no chance, everyone dies before you get to even know their name (which is why evbo never bothers asking anyone)

really the only sharing they do is when someone is sick or theres a child and occasionally family units share food

cannibalism. yeah. its normal for people to go insane, the noobs probably refer to it as some kind of curse or something bc thats fun

the pro layer (before the evil champion)

everyones neighbors!! less community oriented than the noob layer

more focused on helping each other get better!! regularly helping each other learn fun new parkour things

their accent is kinda like. how do i explain this. their voices tend to be softer and tbh i wanna say they sound like a weird mix of southern and british. dont ask questions.

i dont have much for the pro layer if yall have fun things hand 'em over

the pro layer (after the evil champion)

music is HUGE here between moral boosting events and also playing songs for parkour !!

community oriented but more in the way where family units stick together and everyone else is like. a coworker. like you might be friends and occasionally you might get close with someone but like. ehhhhh

mostly just like. yeah i work in the same general area as this guy

the fighter later (before they were banished)

this layer has the most people because its so hard to rank up so its the one with the most stuff going on!!

libraries!! this is the layer of scholars and shit!!

theres so many people here that the masters come down and hang out here a lot too!!

this is where everyone learns things, theres no schools on the other layers because everyone has the chance to rank up !!

this ones just fun, its got a mix of everything because its the most populated \o/

they have a fun accent i think, tbh i wanna say its similar to new york? idk

the fighter layer (after the banishment)

devoid of basically everything that made it what it was

the most sparsely populated now

everyone is hostile as fuck, by the point we see it in canon everything's been combed over tens of hundreds of times so if someone sees someone else its safe to assume one of them is getting mugged

unless its a seawatt situation but whatever

some bonds still remain and theyre as strong as ever now

everyone either has fashioned masks out of their clothes or just has the most fucked up throat from the frequent sandstorms.

the master layer (before the evil champion)

not much going on up here!! they normally hang out on the fighter layer

huuuuuge showoffs but like in a fun way!! performances!!! wow!!!

theyve got a bit of twang in their voice i think bc yes.

the master layer (after the evil champion)

showoffs but in a bad way

big on spreading rumors

really reclusive, never visit lower levels or each other

battling is common for any reason, the more people youve defeated in a battle the higher up you are on the social ladder

ok heres some!! i hope u like it it took me like 45 minutes to write all this bc i kept getting distracted

[sebastianswallows]

10 songs, 10 people

Tagged by @esolean 💚 Thank you so much, bby!

Rules: Put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs that come up.

This is hard though, like, my music where? My spotiy? My second spotify? My laptop? My phone? I have music saved everywhere 😂 Went with my phone, cause that's where I have the most.

Into Darkness - Jeremy Soule

Tales of the Future - Vangelis

Fame < Infamy - Fall Out Boy

Bees - Warpaint

Homesick - The Cure

Taste in Men - Placebo

Schreck and the Locket - Dan Jones

See Line Woman - Nina Simone

Aboard the Phantom Carriage - Jill Tracy

Take Me With You - Tori Amos

Tagging: @froggyinaspen @ceres-zephyr @thorns-fixations @imaslytherpuff @skittish1807 @lilac-crown @ravenelyx @rookwoodswife @huskyhunny @ominist

[sunbloomdew]

To The Moon Minisodes Eva's diary entries

In both of the minisodes if you leave out Eva's diary (so when you don't click on it while playing as Eva) you can later read it when the player controls Neil.

Minisode 1 diary entry:

Neil's reaction is fear, if you try to read the entry again he will say something like: "Nope."

Minisode 2 diary entry:

This time the only reaction is a speech bubble with three dots.

[skeletalheartattack]

hi I like gelato a lot

[winepresswrath]

I recently learned that my beloved's seemingly very normal feelings about the beatles are comprised not of general fondness for penny lane but of a deep affection for paul mccartney that is nevertheless completely overshadowed by a how much she fucking hates john lennon. what a beautiful world we live in where we can turn a corner and see brand new facets of the people we love best. she wants that man deader.

[laniidae-passerine]

decided that in my own personal canon, Santiago’s maker looked similar to Louis, simply because Ben Daniels stated that Santiago was very likely in love with his maker. and wouldn’t it be some kind of torture to fall in love with the man who murdered your first vampiric love? to then watch him fall in love with another, who bears an eerie resemblance to that first love? to be witness to something tender and affectionate blooming, every moment a memory of how none of those you’ve adored have ever wanted you back? it would be agony. it would be torture. god, you would just hate them to pieces, loathing even as you loved them. and you wouldn’t know peace - not until the whole pack of them learnt the horror of love, just as you have.

[uncanny-tranny]

Okay, if I had to simplify my gender into one song, it would absolutely have to be Libiamo ne' lieti calici. Like, I am going absolute feral right now. Do you see this vision of mine.

[chronicowboy]

got my tickets to an outdoor production of twelfth night 🥳🥳🥳

[teaboot]

I've never had a cat before and I'm hoping to get one soon. Do you have any advice?

Treat a new cat as you would a new roommate. Give them space and time to settle, establish a pattern and a rhythm, and in time they may choose to become friends and spend time with you. Dont force a friendship.

Use simple words and repetition to establish communication. Words like breakfast, treat, snack, lunch, supper, dinner, food, and eat all basically mean, "I am feeding you; expect to be fed", but it's a lot for a little guy to remember. I just say "Dinner" when I mean "cat food is coming", and so my boy knows exactly what I mean when I say it. As a plus, using only one word for snack time means he has no idea what the other words mean, so I can talk about food in front of him without ruling him up.

Pay attention to body language. Cats all have different personalities, and you'll learn their likes, dislikes, and messages over time this way. Son boy here loves anything with plumbing but dislikes getting wet- his favourite blanket to chew and snuggle goes on his favourite chair, and he gives me a specific gesture when he wants me to kneel down so he can jump onto my shoulder.

Read into problematic behaviour. Cats pee in weird places when they're hurting, in distress, or have insufficient of unclean litter box space. Biting, attacking feet , and knocking things off tables often means they're understimulated and need you to play with them, or at least need some kind of enrichment or puzzle to tackle. Tail flicking can be frustration or irritation. Purring is usually good, but may also be self-soothing behaviour to alleviate pain, encourage healing, and relieve anxiety, like over-grooming.

Like children, "bad" behaviour isn't malicious- it usually means there's something you aren't seeing.

Learn how your cat expresses love. Loads of people think cats are uncaring, cruel, and indifferent, but the truth is, they're just not dogs. Spending time near you, showing an interest in tools you're using or projects you're working on, sitting the way you sit, laying on their back, rubbing on your legs, wiping their face on your shoes when you get home- these are signs that your cat is enamored with you. You're their family, they feel safe and protected around you, they're curious about things you enjoy and want everyone to know you're family.

Set reasonable expectations. Again, cats are not dogs.We bred dogs to desire our approval- cats walked into our lives themselves. They have no human-programmed need to fulfill a duty or perform a task to your standards.

Training cats to do tricks isn't as hard as people say, but the willingness or interest in doing the trick is more heavily reliant on personality and mood. Some cats will refuse all but the most basic requests- I'm lucky in that Ollie understands and is willing to do several, provided I don't abuse his trust and he's not crowded or overwhelmed or just bored of doing it over and over in a short period.

Ollie, for example, knows Up to stand on his back legs and hold my hand, Down to get to a surface I indicate, Out to emerge from a closed space, Come to find me where I am, Help? when I'm offering to let him use me as an elevator, Dinner when I understand he's hungry and am getting food, and when I put on his collar he knows to climb into his carrier 'cause we're going somewhere. And he'll do any of these about 90% of the time, either ignoring me or phoning it in when there's something interesting somewhere else, or if he's feeling anxious.

Lead by example. If you dread taking them to the vet, they'll see the anxiety in your body language and behaviour and likely learn to hate it, too. Again using my guy an example, I starred taking him on walks long before his first vet appointment, just to get used to his carrier and leash. Then his first checkup was relaxed and informal, with plenty of treats, and I let him explore the examination room with permission from the tech. Now he loves going, so I'm not stressed about taking him, so I don't stress him out in turn, and the vest doesn't have to deal with a stressed out cat slowing things down and fighting with them.

Make sure your sources are good ones, and also good ones for you. I will recommend Jackson Galaxy's YouTube channel for cat advice because a lot of what he does matches up with what I've learned and know to be true. I don't personally recommend Ceasar Milan because I personally find his methods distressing to recreate regardless of efficacy, so even if that advice was useful, *I'd* be miserable, and it'd just be trading one issue for another.

Have a person who can help. You never know when you might end up out of town overnight unexpectedly, or when your place may need serviced or fumigated, or if you may be called out of town. Before getting a cat, research reliable pet sitters, house sitters, pet daycares, whatever, just in case.

Consider pet insurance. No long spiel here, just think about it. Especially if you don't know your cats ancestry or potenyial health risks. An on top of that, fucking vaccinate them.

Dont let them free roam. At all.

I grew up on a farm with free-roaming barn cats. Do you know how many times child-me cried over having to bury them? Illness, disease, pregnancy, vehicles, other territorial cats, ticks, fleas, litter, poisoned prey, malicious humans, local wildlife, predatory birds, scrap metal, extreme heat, freezing temperatures, tainted water sources, poisonous or venomous critters, getting stuck in small or high places, tapeworms, loose nails, old equipment, falling branches...

I've seen some truly body-horror slasher-movie shit- just truly nauseating visual fuckery- and I'm telling you not to let your cat free-roam.

Leash training isn't hard. Supervised walks aren't hard. Even keeping your cat physically fit and entertained indoors isn't an impossible feat. Don't let your fucking cat fucking free-roam. Fuck

Also read up on foods and plants cats can't do, like every houseplant in existence is toxic it's insane

Anyhow yeah that's like. A couple things I guess

Here, have an Ollie Pic

[norikuna]

BED CHEM— geto suguru minors dni. art by to00fu !

welcome to the christmas tour ! take a seat in section (b) and let the show begin !

prologue. → ditching your friend's christmas condo party for your scrumptious, needy boyfriend? yes please!

want to try sitting somewhere else ? take a look at the ticket chart again !

pairing. geto suguru x afab!reader

warnings+. awful usage of brainrot slang to weird geto out (mission successful), making out, messy sèx, crèampiè, nothing crazy !

word count. 5k! song inspiration. bed chem — sabrina carpenter

a/n. happy 1 month birthday to this blog!!!!!! 😭 kind of fitting that i celebrate with a geto fic <3

mp3. where art thou? why not uponeth me? see it in my mind, let's fulfill the prophecy !

"hey," you say, holding up the dress and crinkling the red satin in your fingers, "what'd you think of this one?"

it's a gorgeous number, a sheer, corset bodice with a daring thigh-high slit, all set to softly drape off your shoulders. the kind of dress that screams 'sexy without trying too hard' and 'television heroine vampire heiress'. your goal in life.

geto doesn't even glance up from his latest obsession, crouched by the kitchen counter. he's eye level with a pavlova, drizzling raspberry glaze over it like he's performing surgery. without missing a beat, "it's cool. for someone desparate in witness protection," he deadpans.

you scoff, clutching the gown like the aforementioned television heroine, "you just say weird shit sometimes. what does that even mean? and a day one hater, didn't even look up..."

"and yet," geto mutters, still hyper-focused on his dessert, "i know i'm right."

you throw the dress onto the couch dramatically, "suguru, you bought this dress for me."

that gets your boyfriend's attention and he looks up, catching the gleam of familiar red satin, and visibly gulps, "oh. my bad. it's, uh, hot you'd look hot, i mean."

"nice save, baby," you arch a brow.

he tosses his inky black hair back, some of it falling right back into his face, "what's it for?"

you sigh, propping your legs up on the worn couch, "that big party, remember? my friend who got married and had a kid last year, y'know her right?"

geto hums, popping a fresh blueberry into his mouth, without taking his eyes off the pavlova, "mmph," he says through a mouthful, "the one who married the guy who cheated on her like thrice?"

you grin, delighted he remembers the gossip you've spoon fed to him over time, "yeah, well, apparently he tried making it up to her by buying her an entire condo."

geto wrinkles his nose in disgust, "tacky. ya' just can't buy class."

"totally," you sigh, "but it's so nice in there. and when she hosts parties there, i can't really complain. it's like, so gorgeous."

then, you glance back at your focused boyfriend, watching as he artfully arranges more berries atop the meringue, "mhm, speaking of gorgeous, are you gonna stand there making love to the pavlova all night, or are you gonna help me accessorise this thing?"

geto glances at you, his violet eyes narrowing playfully, "why so needy? jealous of whipped egg whites and sugar?"

you flop your arms to your sides with a dramatic sigh, "what if i am?"

geto exhales as though you are his most tiresome, and favourite thing in the entire world. grabbing a silver spoon from the cutlery rack, and dipping it into the sticky-sweet raspberry glaze. he's striding towards you, and there's that signature air of both exasperation and amusement, "open."

you comply, simply because dessert trumps dignity, and not before biting down on the spoon with unnecessary force just to mess with him. the glaze simply melts on your tongue, and you smack your lips, "mmm. wait, this shit's really good. what's it for?"

geto laughs, stepping closer to swipe his warm thumb across your bottom lip to catch a stray bit of glaze, "for us, jus' us. thought we'd have something sweet for christmas."

you clutch your chest like a damsel, "i thought i was your sweet thing for christmas."

your dear boyfriend rolls his eyes, swatting your arm lightly with the sticky spoon, leaving a smear of glaze, "tch, what am i gonna do with you?"

you gasp in mock outrage at the sensation, but geto's expression shifts, softening as he swings a knee up onto the arm of the couch, "wan' me to come with ya?"

you blink, thrown off from his hauntingly beautiful features that you'll never get tired of, "come with me where?"

"that party, love."

your jaw practically hits the floor, "wait, really? you actually want to? thought you hated these things?"

geto's lips quirk upwards, shrugging a shoulder, "the things i do for my pretty girlfriend."

cue the squeal. exaggerated just enough to irritate him, just a bit. you clutch his arm, bouncing slightly, "aw! you really do love me!"

geto's exasperated look cracks, softening into something far more quiet and fond. he places a hand on your head, ruffling through your hair just enough to make you scowl at the mess, "don't push your luck," he warns. but his tone betrays his amusement, "i just feel bad i haven't gone to any of the others with you."

"i'm glad you said that, though, suguru," you start, already scheming as you lean forward and rest your head on his knee like its the most natural pillow in the world. he lets out a soft puff of breath, almost instinctively leaning down to press a kiss to your temple.

"remember those high-waisted pants i said would look really good on you?"

geto frowns, "the ones you said made me look like a...and i quote, a slutty mushroom?"

"bingo. you should wear them. the world deserves to see your delicious gyatt —"

your baiting words are accentuated by a pinch to the back of his dark sweatpants but cut off by his sharp exhale, and the way his fingers, which had been lazily tracing the curve of your ear, freeze mid-motion.

"my what, love?" geto asks, his tone a mix of suspicious and the kind of dread reserved for people who know they're about to regret asking a question.

"gyatt," you repeat, completely unrepentant, no shame nor misery, "it means —"

"i know what it means," geto cuts in, deadpan with a faint and tell-tale blush creeping onto his tan skin, "i'm cutting off our wifi. all our electricity actually."

you laugh, patting his muscular thigh lightly before squeezing it again for good measure, "oh, so you do know what it means. that's embarrassing for you, babe."

"and yet, somehow, i still have the moral high ground," geto grouches, pinching the bridge of his nose, "and you say that i say weird shit. now you're bringing gojo's tiktok fuckery into my own home."

"first of all, it's our home," grabbing the red dress and standing, almost knocking him off the couch's arm, "second of all, my big and tall and beautiful boyfriend is such a cutie patootie when he's embarrassed."

geto groans, tilting his head back, "stop. you're emasculating me."

you pause in the doorway, "you cry everytime we watch strawberry shortcake. you do that shit to yourself."

"that was one time!" geto protests, but you can hear the smile colouring his voice.

"two times."

"the mermaid episode was emotionally poignant. power of friendship and moral honesty despite the promise of treasure," he calls after you, "you wouldn't get the timeless themes!"

well, mission accomplished. the dress fits you like a second skin, hugging all the right places. and you're not even ashamed of how long you spend admiring yourself in the mirror. the way the corset lifts your chest, well, it's definitely giving hot and sexy vampire now.

you delicately pat a glitter bomb compact over your skin, letting the soft shimmer catch the light on your collarbones and shoulders. it's a fine balance, you think, but you know there's a fine line between 'faintly glittered-up' and looking like 'fenty beauty just projectile-vomited rosé rave' all over you.

"suguru!" you call out, expecting a snarky reply but hearing nothing. typical. "suguru!" you yell again, just because you can. you wander out of the bedroom, only to find him already in position: stretched across the couch, legs draped lazily over the armrest.

and fuck, he looks good. wearing those wide-legged pants you suggested, and obviously, you were right about them. a crisp white top with the sleeves rolled up just enough to show off his forearms. geto's hair is pulled back into that high, slightly messy knot he's so fond of, but a rogue and choppy strand has escaped, brushing against his cheek.

the whole look screams 'effortlessly hot' and you can imagine how smug he'd be if he knew what you were thinking.

"oh. hey, love," he greets casually, scrolling through his phone and still draped over the couch like a catalog model who knows all his angles. but then geto looks up, and the phone nearly slips out of his hand.

"uhhh, hey," he says, his eyes widening as he takes you in, and his rosewood lips part, as he says it again, clearly dumbfounded, "hey."

you laugh, crouching down next to him, amused by the way he's visibly short-circuiting, "not bad yourself," you tease, "what were you looking at?"

before he can stop you, you lean in to peak at geto's phone, pressing yourself against his side. glitter from your collarbones transfers onto his skin, but you're too busy laughing at his dimly lit screen to notice.

"suguru!" you gasp, your shoulders beginning to tremor, "fuckass yahoo answers, of all places. wait — i can't believe people still use that. stop moving your phone, let me read!"

is it good or bad if my girlfriend says i have a gyatt?

geto's ears turn deliciously red, and he locks his phone with an exaggerated click, "okay. nosy mcgee," and he's grumbling, "makin' me sound like a loser."

you pat his cheek lightly, grinning like a cheshire cat, "it means i think you're scrumptious," you say with mock seriousness, "like top-tier snackish. like, as in, i like your ass."

geto huffs, his lips twitching despite himself. and then, leaning forward, he presses a soft kiss to the tip of your nose. you wrinkle it instinctively, thinking of all the concealer and powder you had layered earlier.

"well," he says, as he brushes a strand of hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear, "i think you're pretty too."

you sigh dramatically, "just pretty? why did i end up with a nonchalant man?"

geto gasps, his mauve eyes widening in mock offence as he juts his lip forward, "hah, 'scuse me. i'm not nonchalant. i'm like the total opposite of nonchalant. i'm like...chalant."

you snort, catching his stray fingers as they linger close enough to your lips for you to playfully nip at them, "yes. you are. my very chalant boyfriend. what a hero."

geto rolls over to his side, so he's facing you. absolutely wrinkling his white shirt, "thank you for recognising my efforts."

but then his tone shifts, his gaze running over you, "but seriously, you look hot. like crazy hot. like wow, my girlfriend is insanely hot," and he leans in slightly, "and i jus' can't stop looking at your two, beautiful, perfect..."

it hits you that his gaze has dropped to the swell of your chest.

"suguru! my eyes are up here, you dog."

"shit, been caught." and he's still laughing at your grumbles, grabbing your wrist and gently pulling you up in one swift motion, dragging you alongside him towards the bedroom.

"hey!" you protest half-heartedly, trying to dig your heels into the carpet, "the front door's the other way, genius. we're gon' be late."

geto doesn't stop his stride, glancing back at you with a pleading look that's also smug at the same time, "yeah, but you're the one who looks like that. don't think i can function. i need a minute."

"geto suguru, everybody. one-minute wonder. all he needs to finish."

you hear your boyfriend's scoff, as a teasing laugh escapes him, "hah, can't help being like this, can ya? got a gold medal when it comes to pissing me off."

you smile sweetly, "it's because i love you."

geto rolls his rich-plum eyes, his hand guiding you towards the bed as he shakes his head, "you know i love you too, right?"

"duh."

"good," geto says, and with that, he's leaning in. pressing a hot kiss to your jaw, then moving to your waiting mouth. it's messy, sloppy, the kind that makes your pussy clench a bit. sue you, eh? it's just the effect that geto suguru has on you.

you let out a soft whine as his tongue smears across your satin-finished, ruby lips, perfectly lined not ten minutes ago. but then geto's pulling away, circling his finger lazily in the air. a wordless demand that leaves your thighs clenching in anticipation.

you playfully huff, but spin yourself away from him. planting yourself on all fours, hearing geto grunt as he seems to appreciate the view. tsk, your predictable, eager boyfriend.

his large hand is running slowly down your spine, like he's savouring the way the satin clings to you. it's sending shivers down your body, and you're certain that if geto were to push your dress up and cup your core with a large hand, he'd pull it away wet and dripping.

"ah, pretty. so pretty, aren'tcha?" and his fingers are tugging taut at the ruched dress, like he can't quite believe you're real and his. despite three smooth years of professing your love to one another.

"suguru," you protest, "y'know 's not a cheap dress, babe."

you can hear the amusement tinging his smooth voice, "i know. i bought it, remember? don't want you worryin' your pretty lil' head over it."

you let out a soft sigh as you feel him entirely lean his weight over you, enveloping you in that heady scent of leather and cardamom. scooting your ass back, so tight satin would faintly drag across his very pronounced erection.

"f-fuck," and geto's laugh is sharp, disbelieving. half a huff, and half a chuckle, but entirely in awe. broad, warm hands are gliding over you before the gentle press of his palms come to rest on your hips. he's sliding your dress up, letting satin rustle with a soft, whispering sound. leaving your skin exposed to the sudden and sharp kiss of the christmas air.

"wow," geto whistles quietly, appreciatively. he seemed to be enjoying the sheer red thigh-high tights that clung to the plush of your thighs like a second scarlet skin, and you gasp as he hooks a long finger underneath the lace border, snapping it once briefly in a mild sting.

his hands are so close to where you need them most, and it's so utterly infuriating. he's practically dancing his finger tips over your inner thighs, ghosting so close to your underwear. panties that were surely languid, weighty by now. you could feel the damp cotton growing far more slippery and tacky as geto suddenly ran a finger over your clothed cunt.

and you can hear the elation in his voice as he lifts a finger up to his mouth, swirling his tongue around your syrupy taste, "hah, you're practically a super-soaker. that's pretty cool."

you scowl, fighting the urge to swivel around and pounce him in retribution, "y-yeah, thanks," but the bite in your words is tempered by the lazy heat that coils in your stomach, "but you're taking too l-long, baby. can't you jus' -"

and you're deciding to take matters into your own hands, as geto seems fascinated by how thin, clear strands create small bridges between his fingers. you reach for the waistband of his high-waisted pants, running your own hand down his absurdly slender waist, right over a godly chiselled torso.

"y'got impatient, didn't you, love?" and now geto's scowling, hauling your wrist back to pin it behind your back like you foretold. but not before planting a soft press of lips to your inner arm, gentle and tender.

but you flex your fingers behind your back, stretching them out, groping at the air. your boyfriend must have noticed, almost immediately because of course he does, and you can hear a soft, knowing coo from behind you.

"ah, 's what you want, right?" he teases, sliding his cool, slender fingers over yours, intertwining them effortlessly, "just wanted me holdin' your hand, how cute."

"maybe i was j-just stretching," you huff, but squeezing his hand tighter.

geto hums, unconvinced, as his thumb brushes lazily over the back of your hand, and you can hear the sound of fabric rustling behind you, "sure. totally not begging me to hold your hand like some lovesick, little dove."

but any retort falls away from your tongue, right when you feel something heavy, and hot smack against your tailbone, leaving a faint, moist kiss that feels cold when it patters off, "now pay attention."

you muffle a small, desparate whine, as geto has one hand tangled with yours and the other being used to hold and smack his thick cock once more over the base of your spine, "hope s-she's ready f' me now."

you feel as though all the air has been utterly pushed out of you, just from geto practically splitting you in two. you don't even have to look at geto to know that he's absolutely wrecked already, just from the throbbing, curved tip of his cock pushing past your tight walls, snagging with only the mildest resistance.

you can almost see it in your mind's eye, picturing it all just from his low curses and gasp.

how his chin must have tucked low enough to kiss his sternum, feathery strands of hair spilling over his forehead. those inky lashes fluttering in disbelief and surrender over hazy mauve eyes.

"s-she's always so eager to take me," geto croons, and his eyes are practically glued to the way your puffy folds bulge and drool over his shaft slowly feeding inches into you, "almost there, love."

"look at, hah, t-that," your boyfriend drawls, but you can hear how entirely undone he is, that tremour cutting off the end of his words in a sharp gasp as you arch yourself into him, letting that stretch take you so deliciously.

"keep your back arched like that, love," geto murmurs, and his hands are guiding you, pulling your hips back in a gentle, rhythmic push-and-pull over his cock. leaving you to feel his girthy shaft rummage and jostle around your insides, leaving a hefty divot at the edge of your cervix in a way that has you suddenly keening out a faint moan, "doing s-so well for me."

and fuck, the sound of his groin smacking wet kisses against your ass has you feeling like your head was going to explode, and your heart was going to give out, pressing right up into your throats. but you can tell geto is pleased, ruined even as he slowly drags his cock out of you at a filthy, slow pace.

if only to make you feel every throbbing vein on him, and how it imprints on your gummy walls.

there's something just so right about him being in you like this, having his pretty love bent over and absolutely stuffed full of his cock, something that just makes sense.

and right now, nothing else in the world matters save for you, and geto can't bring himself to even care about deadlines, or a decent and sensible christmas dinner, or some stupid party. not when he's letting his weighty, drooling tip loll out of your folds.

thick and heavy like a heated rod in the cool air of the evening, as he pushes two long fingers to spread open your syrupy folds, running the angry-red tip over your gloss, before finally pushing himself back inside.

"i w-was gonna say it was this dress, love," geto stammers, swirling his hips around, trying to rustle right into you, "but i think it's just you. ya know w-what you do to me right, hah, don'tcha, pretty?"

oh you are more than aware. and that heightened sense of perception is only exacerbated by how the thick curve of his cock is bruising into you. slamming into you with a heavy smack!

geto's world tilts, leaving him teetering on the edge of an embarrassingly early orgasm. but he feels little shame, not when his head is so heavy and his lips sting, caught under the desparate press of his teeth. every shallow breath he takes feeling like it's just unravelling him further, circling the tips of his fingers over your clit, just so you can whine and arch yourself into him more.

geto decides to play that card more, wrapping a thick arm around you to pull you into the air slightly. that faint increase in angle making you buckle as his weeping tip pulls symphonies of thick, angry squelches from your sensitive cunt. each jostle of his sharp, staccato hips feeling more and more shaky.

"not too much, r-right?" geto's breath hitching in uneven bursts, caught somewhere between delirious laughter and incredulous, overstimulated sobs.

that sweet, and unsteady wheeze results in tears pricking at geto's eyes from the delicious heat of your pussy, falling over the feverish nape of your neck, "know you wanted to go o-out, wanted to wear this pretty dress but i think 'm gonna d-die if i stop now, 's okay with you, yeah?"

"not t-too much, suguru," you hiss, feeling crystalline tears pool in your own lashes, just from pure please, "f-fuck, 'm already so close."

and you truly are, he's drilling himself into you at a beastly place, jostling a large hand over your chest, brushing over the lace lining the corset bodice, as if he's desparate to get his hands into your dress, to brush his thumbs over sensitive nipples.

his cock leaving searing trails of precum against your drooling, fluttering walls, leaving behind a wet trail that almost burned you. the force of his crashing hips leaving stamps in their wake, and geto's gasping and groaning at the faint cling of your dewy pussy, snatching him in quick, forceful bursts.

you shuffle precariously, still jostled against him, as you push down the bodice of your dress. probably damaging the framework a bit, but it's so worth it to hear geto almost sigh in relief, letting his hands run over the fat of your tits. pinching, swirling his fingers over the soft skin.

geto thinks he might just collapse over you in a weak heap when he hears your whine, "wan' more, s-suguru."

yes, more. that's exactly what geto wants to give you. he wants to see you milk him dry from the heavy balls swinging against your skin, wants to see you heave breaths of air as his seed drips out of you. wants to have you pressed against him for hours on end, to flip you over so your ankle lock behind his neck.

his imagination must have been working overtime. for like the peak specimen of male virility that he is, geto suguru just ends up cumming instead.

and with an embarrassing, heady grunt from him, geto's pulling his pulsating cock out of your folds, doing his best to keep himself steady enough to use his other hand well.

to keep running his fingers in tight circles around your clit, while he lets his spurting cock pump load after load of translucent, white fluid paint your spine a pretty pearly sheen. coming right on you.

it's so messy, it's so filthy and geto feels mildly numb as he decides to push his still throbbing cock, one that is still spurting right back into you, as he pushes his weight onto you, taking care not to force you too harshly against the crumpled sheets.

and geto just can't help himself, can't stop himself from leaving sloppy, wet kisses to the back of your neck, to your cheek. can't help himself from tilting your face back so his mouth can meet yours, and he can taste that raspberry syrup from earlier on your tongue, sweet and tangy.

and geto doesn't even care that he sounds ruined, raw and brittle. absolutely tattered as he whines, "we d-don't have to go to that party, right? hnngh, jus' need to hear you say that we don't have to, i think 'm gonna need some more of her. milking me so w-well."

he doesn't hear much apart from your gasps, your short cries like a mantra of "ah, ah! suguru!"

you weren't even sure how much time had passed, an hour even. or more. and you vaguely wondered if your friends were still there. sitting at some christmas party in some luxury condo, whispering over flutes of champagne, wondering about where you were. unaware that your adonis-esque boyfriend had been pounding himself into you, stretching you out over his cock until you were seeing heavenly stars.

until you were feeling thick ropes of white paint your insides once more, and streaks of dark dimmed your vision, and mauve and violet flashed behind your eyes.

you're tugging at the hem of your dress, still laughing fondly as you watch geto. his tousled, choppy hair falling out of its knot, and his eyes half-lidded and blissed out. his crumpled white top clings to his lean frame, and he's propped up lazily against the headboard with his other thick arm slung back behind his head.

"give me another hour, and we can do it again, love," geto huffs, his voice still a little raspy from earlier.

you shake your head in amusement, despite the mildly uncomfortable feeling of slick sticking beneath your thighs, splattered over your beautiful dress, "mhm, what a nice way to spend christmas, huh?"

geto stares at you adoringly, and his eyes are heavy with contentment, like he can't quite believe that you're here, and for a second, you think maybe the world would stop right there, in this perfect moment.

he runs a thumb over your face, pressing down on your lower lip, "i think it's better than some party," and geto's tone is dreamy, lazy, "no offence to your friend."

you snicker, thinking about whether you're going to need some well-thought excuse for your dear friend. or whether you're going to spill the whole truth for her.

but just as you're about to pull geto's plush mouth into another lazy kiss, his brow furrows. a sudden, concerned shift in his expression.

"hey," your boyfriend mutters, reaching to find his phone, "what's the humidity like tonight?"

you blink, caught off guard, "humidity? what's it matter?"

well, your skin feels unusually sticky, like the air itself is clinging to your sweat-dampened skin. despite the cool air of the december night. and there's that sweet, pleasant tiredness settling into your bones.

geto's suddenly sitting up, his eyes wide with realisation, "wait, love. fuck," he's muttering, scrambling up to his feet, "the kitchen!"

before you can process what's happening, he's racing for the door, and you stare at the empty spot on the rumpled sheets where your broad boyfriend was sitting not ten seconds ago.

"what is wrong with that man?" you murmur, but you hear a panicked cry from the kitchen, something about that damned pavlova going limp and soft with the heating on.

you bite back a small comment about something else going limp and soft, deciding to save that one for later when he's back in bed.

[5sospenguinqueen]

Tantrums | Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Summary: After 10 years together, Lewis keeps pushing back the date on when “forever” can start. Realising that forever applies to her job and not their relationship, she makes it clear that she’s had enough. 

Warnings: slight age gap, reader is 32. angst, heavy on the angst. 

Requested: @madelynn-sienna (sorry it took so long. i didn’t think i was gonna do it ngl to you because i don’t really write for lewis)

F1 Masterlist

next.

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yn_ln just posted

liked by carmenmmundt, alexandrasaintmleux and others

yn_ln when he feels bad that he’s on the other side of the world for your birthday 

4,444 comments

lewishamilton happy birthday, love. i’m so sorry i’m in australia and not with you but i promise i will make it up to you when i’m home. roscoe promised me he’d spend the day spoiling you 

→ roscoelovescoco yes i’s did’s 

user1 oh to be loved the way yn is loved by lewis 

user2 no one makes me feel as single as lewis and yn do 

carmenmmundt @/georgerussell63 take notes

→ yn_ln you tell him, hun

→ georgerussell63 i buy you flowers all the time! 

f1 we’re sorry that a race fell on your birthday. we’ll ask the fia to fix the calendar next year so this doesn’t happen again

mercedesamgf1 we’d give him back if we could. happy birthday, yn

georgerussell63 hang on a second. you’ve not left us yet. that’s not the right car

→ charles_leclerc that’s the perfect car 

→ yn_ln i didn’t buy the car. i just jumped behind the wheel

user3 not me hoping she’d be getting a ring for her birthday 

→ user4 we’ve been waiting for this for the past 8 birthdays

→ user5 it’s been 10 years. we were expecting two rings and a few kids by now

→ user6 i mean, he just bought her a sports car. not very kid friendly 

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lewishamilton just posted

liked by francolapinto, sebastianvettel and others 

lewishamilton happy 10 years to the love of my life. every moment with you is an adventure i never want to end

9,448 comments

yn_ln forever with you ❤️ mainly because i can’t be bothered to train some new guy to photos that good of me

mercedesamgf1 can’t believe it’s been 10 years already. it feels like only yesterday yn was making her paddock debut. here’s to another 10 

→ user7 not mercedes commenting like they’re a part of this relationship 

→ user8 well he’s been with yn almost as long as he’s been with mercedes so they practically are at this point 

user9 my favourite f1 couple

user10 i love their rich money vibes

roscoelovescoco happy’s anniversary’s mum and’s dad 

→ yn_ln my precious boy 

→ user11 now she needs a real baby 

danielriccairdo i can’t believe she’s managed to put up with you for ten years 😂 huge love to you both

→ yn_ln ngl, it’s been tough

→ lewishamilton i’m taking the ferrari back 

user12 wedding and baby when? 

georgerussell63 happy 10 year anniversary. yn is my favourite part of you being my teammate 

→ carmenmmundt can we keep her when you go to ferrari?

→ charles_leclerc no. it’s my turn now 

→ lewishamilton i think you’re all forgetting that she’s mine 

mercedesamgf1 just posted

liked by georgerussell63, kimi.antonelli and others 

mercedesamgf1 GET IN THERE, LEWIS 🏆🥇 LEWIS HAMILTON IS YOUR BRITISH GRAND PRIX WINNER 

23,441 comments

yn_ln my love. i honestly have not stopped crying since you crossed that line. i’m so proud of you. you deserved this and proved to everyone why you’re a motorsport legend

→ lewishamilton couldn't do it without your support 🩷

→ mercedesamgf1 it’s true. the mechanics were uncomfortable when they realised they couldn't just keep giving her tissues

georgerussell63 you deserve it, mate

valterribottas well done champ

user1 can’t believe he won silverstone the same weekend he celebrated 10 years with yn 

→ user2 she’s always been his good luck charm. he performs so well when she’s watching

→ user3 they’re the dream team together 

user4 the fact that yn is the only one he responded to

user5 she’s getting it good tonight

skysportsf1 posted a new interview

user6 oh no, lewis…

user7 lewis, she was asking what was next for you and yn, relationship wise

user8 oh, that’s not quite

user9 i hope yn doesn’t see this otherwise i fear lewis might be in the doghouse tonight 

→ user10 i hope she does see it so that she knows he’s not thinking of her future in the same way 

user11 i always thought lewis loved yn as much as yn loved lewis but now i’m not sure

user12 it’s the fact that the poor interviewer looked upset at his answer as well. like she hoped for better

→ user13 we all hoped for better 

user14 it’s the fact that she’s always talked about wanting kids and getting married but has always said they’re waiting until lewis is ready

→ user15 the fact that every year passes and he never indicates that he’s ready for any of it though 

replies to @/F1Wags

user1 lewis still follows yn

→ user2 and still has all of his photos up, including their anniversary post 

→ user1 i’m hoping this means he’s in denial and is still trying to win her back

user3 i can’t believe this is real. she went all the way back and deleted everything related to him in 10 years. even edited posts to delete slides he was in

→ user4 dedicated queen

user5 just fell to my knees in walmart

user6 i’m devastated but i also hope this means she finds a man who will be prepared to give her the life she wants 

→ user7 well, more fool her for staying this long

→ user6 not really. ever think she wanted those things because she wanted them with lewis

→ user8 don’t break my heart like this please  

replies to @/WeDon'tThink

user9 okay but your pen was on fire when you wrote that 

user10 he literally had the best weekend of his life with a 10yr anniversary, winning silverstone and then clearly messed it all up somehow in the end 

user11 if sir lewis hamilton can’t even do right, what hope do the rest of us have in finding a decent man

→ user12 no because they looked just as in love as they did 10 years ago and he still fumbled

user13 i saw rumours it was because he gave her an ultimatum and she didn’t take the path he wanted 

→ user14 what do you mean?

→ user13 apparently “close sources” said that he told her if she wanted kids, she couldn't have him and so she left 

→ user14 wtf!!! good on her for dumping his ass

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calvinklein and yn_ln just posted

liked by nicorosberg, fernandoalo_official and others 

calvinklein @/yn_ln is stunning in calvin klein underwear. shop the collection now 

5,533 comments

yn_ln oh okay. i look goooood 

→ alexandrasaintmleux i would let you take me home

→ carmenmmundt me too

→ georgerussell63 excuse me, i don’t agree with this

user1 aha, nico we see you 

→ user2 and fernando

landonorris oh so he fumbled bad 

→ oscarpiastri they’re going to take your social media off you again

user3 is this her version of a revenge dress?

→ user4 more like undress

user5 not sure why you wouldn’t want to marry and give a baby to a woman like that 

→ user6 okay, ew

user7 can we appreciate how she’s handled this with class. instead of speaking out against lewis, she’s been booked and busy and flitting about europe on modelling jobs 

→ user8 just further proof that he managed to lose the best woman ever 

roscoelovescoco you’s look’s nice, mum

→ user9 i know lewis hires someone to run this account but what are the odds that he’s actually behind it now so he can stalk yn 

yn_ln please can we all focus on the clothes and support how hot i look by buying some! 

→ danielricciardo don’t even have tits but you convinced me to buy a bra

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lewishamilton just posted

liked by valterribottas, scuderiaferrari and others 

lewishamilton mixed feelings about today. obviously happy for a win but very disappointing for george and the team missing out on a 1-2

7,744 comments

georgerussell63 we put up a good fight today

user1 not really a deserved win though, is it

user2 you fumbled yn and now you’re fumbling wins. you only got this because merc screwed over george 

roscoelovescoco well’s done’s dad

user3 see what happens when you play a good woman, you get a dirty win

user4 man needs to act his age. can’t believe at the grand age of 39, he strung along a girl who loved him more than anything for 10 years

→ user5 destroyed my faith in men for real 

user6 robbed a win from george like you robbed 10 years from yn 

(comments on this post have been limited)

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I wrote this out and was really proud of it and then when I was adding the other driver’s versions on, I realised it was the same principal as Daniel’s so I’m so sorry for the repeated plot

Baby Fever Angst Masterlist

requests are open

[heytherecentaurs]

I love Izzy because she’s always riding the line between completely keyed into what’s going on and being so fucking unhinged she has no clue what’s happening. Her intensity is a brilliant comedic device.

I love Alex because they will say such simple things that are so earnest and they’ll make me laugh so hard. They feel like such a unique presence in the dome.

I love Ify because he’s so committed to portraying his characters, and in his ambition to roleplay harder than anyone he initiated a clever way for his 2 characters to interact. From his devotion he finds humour. Plus he’s got his guns out.

I love Ally because they laugh the hardest at everyone else’s jokes and stay so engaged in what’s going on. They went from never playing D&D before in season one to being in the dome second only to Brennan and it’s bred a natural and charismatic familiarity.

I love Jacob because he brings such genuine great vibes to the table. He has been one of my favourite dropout performers and brings his enthusiasm, talents and conviviality to the dome.

I love Rekha because she brings her unique comedic voice to the table. She has great chemistry with everyone and makes characters you won’t expect who say things you could never predict.

I love Brennan because he made this thing for his wife and friends and brings everyone along. He is patient, creative, deeply prepared and spontaneous, and takes Ls with the comedic spirit of a punching bag and loves it. He tells stories from a place of love and it’s apparent.

[fuiru]

A 44 year old man goes to a K-Pop Concert

I promised you a report on the K-pop concert that I, a 44-year-old accountant, went to a couple of weeks ago with my wife and daughter in Toronto. So here it is.

The band we saw were Ateez. They're my daughter's favourite band and my wife's second favourite. I know most of my mutuals are similarly aged like me and may not be familiar with them so let me give you a brief primer on Ateez.

Imagine the most attractive eight men you can think of, just unfathomably beautiful specimens of aesthetic perfection, and make them sing songs that somehow combine the subjects of 'dancing like nobody is watching' with 'we live in a dystopian hellscape that we must all work together to overthrow'. Give them an ongoing music video story lore that literally nobody - not even the band themselves - understand, so that online discussion of their visual motifs looks more like the fevered rantings of a conspiracy theorist, complete with speculation about alternate realities and time being a Moebius strip. There is also a giant sand timer, for some reason.

That's Ateez. That's what you need to know.

Now, K-pop concerts are very different to the gigs I've been going to for the last 28 (!) years. There's no support act, for a start. Also the band perform for like, three hours, with breaks for costume changes and interpretive dance. Furthermore, hanging above everything is the constant looming threat of mandatory military service.

So this being my first such concert, I wasn't sure what to expect. What happened was difficult to explain, but I will try as I am already six paragraphs into this write-up and I'm too invested to stop now. Here goes:

In his Wicked + Divine comics series, Kieron Gillen places modern pop icons as deities, feeding upon and gaining strength from the worship of their fans at the altar of musical performance. I thought I understood that metaphor. I thought I understood it AS a metaphor. I was wrong, because that night Ateez WERE Gods with a capital G and we were their worshippers, a crowd emanating adoration (in the religious and non-religious senses), bestowing strength upon them and gaining their strength in return.

If that sounds weird, it probably is. But as pointed out above, I have lived over four decades and never yet experienced anything like the overwhelming passion of that crowd, the utter abandon with which they conveyed their love for the band.

"But Fuiru, what of the actual music?" you ask. Thinking back, there was a moment in one of their songs - I can't remember which - where I watched the stage, and the people around me, taking it in, and I thought, "Man, I just love Music". But that doesn't answer your question, sorry.

Ateez's music is bloody great. As a tiresome indie/rock/metal kid I'm resisting the urge to add the usual tiresome indie/rock/metal caveat of "...for pop music" because honestly that does it a disservice. They have some genuinely amazing songs. Halazia is an absolute fucking masterpiece that descends into furious hardcore breakbeat. Bouncy is a big, brash racket that somehow is also a perfect pop song. Utopia, Wonderland, and Guerrilla are similarly superb. The obligatory boy band slow number is represented by Dancing Like Butterfly Wings which will make you cry because you will forever associate it with your twelve year old daughter being pointed to and waved at by her favourite Ateez member (Seonghwa) because of her Seonghwa-branded lightstick.

That might just be me, though.

So in summary: being a 44 year old dad at his first K-pop concert rules and you should endeavour to partake in the experience if the opportunity arises.

Finally, for any Atiny reading this: my bias would be San or Seonghwa but my wife and daughter said they were taken so it’s Mingi. My concert outfit (designed and created by my offspring) reflects this.