#and my brain when reading most fanfiction pictures him more baby

[darlingdreames]

How the frickety frack did Tom Hardy age backwards right after playing Eames in Inception?

Particularly THIS INTERVIEW OMG during the press tour, which would have been at least a year (?) after the movie was filmed, where Tom Hardy looks about ten years YOUNGER than Eames like howwwwww?!?!!! He is baby! He is child! He looks younger than everyone there!!

This is some Benjamin Button craziness.

Which makes me believe in my small brain that Eames as a trickster was a forger in real life as well as in dreams and made people believe he was older than he actually was at the time.

This is sorcery (movie magic) and I need answers. Please explain. All head canons will be considered.

[absolutepokemontrash]

happy 666, my fellow chaotic bisexual <3 om! brothers discover uquiz, what happens??

Hell yeah <3 let’s do this!

The Brothers Discover uquiz

Why are These Questions So Weird..? (Lucifer)

*sigh*, what’s MC doing now? Quizzes? Well, that’s surprisingly tame in comparison to the other stuff they get up to. It was good of them to want to stimulate their brain-

Wait, these are just personality quizzes? Oh MC…

Wait, MC wants him to try some quizzes? Really? Ugh, fine. Only because he’s simping doing it for the sake of the exchange program. The point of this thing was for humans and demons to learn about each other, right?

These questions are… questionable. And so are the quizzes… what mindless drivel is this? He’ll have nothing else to do with it!

*three hours later*

“Lucifer, you haven’t slept in like, two days, go to sleep.” “Not now MC, I need to figure out what kind of -core I am…”

He’s addicted. But the good thing is, he can kick his addiction as easily as it started! He’s Lucifer, the Avatar of Pride! Some mere quiz website won’t get to him-

Oooo, what kind of cake is he? What kind of cake is he?

Why Didn’t He Get the Results He Wanted :( (Mammon)

MC! MC! MC! Pay attention to him! Why are they lookin’ at their dumb phone for? There was a much better view right in front of em’. The view is him! MC! Look at him!

In a fit of jealousy, he swipes the phone and sees… quiz results? Eh? MC? Why is this phone saying you’re submissive and breedable? Who the FUCK does this phone think it is talkin’ to his MC like that?!

Wait… why are they laughin’? It’s a joke quiz? Huh… is he submissive and breedable?

No, but only because he lied on the quiz questions to get the result he wanted.

Soon both he and MC are on their DDDs swapping weird quizzes and showing each other their results.

According to this quiz, and Mammon’s spirit animal is a crow. Huh, that’s the most accurate result he’s gotten all day.

After a while he does get bored of it though. After of course, he makes a quiz of his own and asks Lucifer to try it, but little does Lucifer know that ALL the results are bad! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ah, The Quiz Maker (Leviathan)

Levi both takes and makes quizzes, he knew about uquiz way before MC started taking quizzes to see what overrated vegetable they are.

Levi’s favourite kind of quiz are the fandom related ones that test his knowledge. Psh, these filthy casuals think they can beat his otaku knowledge? Don’t make him laugh!

Wait what do you mean he only got 6/13 right? Um, what the F U C K?

You know what? Whatever. He doesn’t need these stupid quizzes!

Five minutes after that, he’s back on the site.

Levi also likes to see what kind of fanfiction trope he is and who he’d be in a fanfiction. He always hopes for main character or love interest but he usually ends up getting “bitch who gets sidelined” or “mischaracterized baby”.

When he makes quizzes, he makes them as imbalanced as possible, and as a result, none of his quizzes get very popular.

MC needs to get him off the site because he just started a “how well do you know Tumblr memes” and we as a society don’t need to know if he was a Johnlock shipper.

GOD DAMMIT WHAT CAT IS HE????? (Satan)

MC? Why aren’t they reading the book he gave them? Was it that bad? MC? Satan waved his hand in front of their face a few times before they snapped out of their trance.

MC quickly explained that they got really absorbed in this quiz about what kind of cat they were. Everything else was irrelevant to Satan, he heard cat and snatched the phone. 

Ten minutes later and he was just breezing through cat related quizzes just to get to the picture at the end. No one tell him he can just Google cat pictures online, he’ll growl at you.

Okay do that if you’re a monsterfucker and you find that shit hot-

But anyway, after the initial cat bomb, Satan casually peruses the site, he likes the fiction trope quizzes a lot too.

Using his intense knowledge of both cats and books, he makes quite a few of his own quizzes to add to the site.

Oooooo, What Hand Cream Scent Should he Try? (Asmodeus)

Similar to Mammon, Asmo first got huffy that MC wasn’t paying attention to him, but on the other hand, they were keeping still while he painted their nails, so that was the only plus.

MC is honour bound to listen to him ramble! Why weren’t they chiming in with the occasional “uh huh” and “yes dear”?! This was an outrage! A scandal!

Oh, MC was doing a quiz on what kind of fruit they are? Ooo fun! Let him see!

Nail painting night gets out on hold while Asmo scrolls through assorted quizzes. He likes the dirty joke ones a lot (I mean, obviously) and he also loves the ones where they assign the quiz-taker a scent or perfume.

He’s always looking for inspiration for scents to try out~! This is great!

Beelzebub

Beel and MC were in the middle of talking about food, (surprise surprise) and Beel ended up asking about human world fast food chains.

“So, what one do you think I’d like?” “Here! Take this quiz and find out!”

Beel is a little confused at the contents of some of the question and quietly worries that if he hasn’t listened to the songs for the song lyric questions that his answer will somehow be corrupted, but he finishes the quiz quickly.

“Huh, yeah I can see you liking Wendy’s.” “Can we go?” “Sure buddy, when we visit the human world.”

Beel takes a lot of the food themed quizzes, but he quickly forgets about the site and continues on his day.

*Prolonged Snore* What huh? Quizzes? Space Quizzes? (Belphie)

When MC started asking the most random questions in the universe while Belphie was trying to nap, the Avatar of Sloth knew that his idiot human was up to something ridiculous.

“Why are you asking me about my favourite soda?” “Answer the question, cow-boy.”

After answering some more ridiculous questions, MC proudly proclaimed that Belphie really was a Pisces.

That… that was it? What the hell was MC looking at? A quiz website? Lame. He was going back to sleep.

Ugh, Belphie’s the lame one here guys. Smh.

—————

Ah Uquiz, you crazy crazy quiz site…

[dottielovegood]

ASMR - chapter 3

Elriel fanfiction

About this fic:

Azriel can’t sleep Elain has an ASMR channel Match made in heaven (or you know, on youtube..)

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You can find chapter 1 here and chapter 2 here Read this fic on AO3

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Chapter 3

Luckily for Azriel, the next day was a Saturday, which meant that he didn’t have to go to work. The only plan he had that day was his gym appointment at 7.00 in the morning, just like every other day. Cassian and Rhys often gave him shit for going to the gym that early in the morning on weekends, but they had partners to enjoy the days with. Azriel did not, which meant that working out was a good way to pass time. Especially for someone like Azriel who didn’t sleep and seemed to have more hours to his days than most regular people did.

However, today he woke up to the sun shining in through his window. He picked up his phone to check the time and was surprised to see that it said 9.23. He never slept that late. And he never slept that well.

She made me miss my gym appointment, Azriel thought to himself and couldn’t help but smile. And then it hit him. It was 9.23. That meant that Flower Girl ASMR would call him in exactly 37 minutes, and he hadn’t even had coffee yet. Azriel quickly got out of bed and hurried to the kitchen. While the coffee was brewing he jumped into the shower. He didn’t know why, but it felt wrong to be on the phone with her without having a shower first. Just like it would feel wrong to show up to a date without showering.

This is not a date, he told himself as he tied the towel around his hips and walked back into his kitchen. Azriel lived in a studio apartment, which meant that his ‘kitchen’ was actually a corner of his living room/bedroom. It was quite big for a studio apartment and he could easily fit his bed, a big sectional, and a dining room table in the room. There were exposed bricks on one wall which gave it a rustic feeling, and the white sleek details everywhere else made it feel modern and minimalistic - just like Azriel preferred.

Azriel leaned against his counter and sipped his coffee. He glanced at the clock on the wall which told him that he had 15 minutes left before the phone call. His hands were sweating. Was it because the coffee was so warm? Azriel tried to tell himself that the coffee was the reason for his warm hands, but it was more difficult to find an explanation for the butterflies in his stomach.

He was nervous. Not because of what they were going to talk about - he could probably guide someone through this in his sleep. But because she made him nervous. It’s one thing to see someone in a video and talk via DMs and an entirely different thing to facetime that person. What if she thought that he was ugly?

As the thought entered his mind, he shook his head as if trying to shake the thought away. Why did he care? He was just helping her with a problem. It didn’t matter if she found him ugly because this was a one-time thing. He would never see her again.

The butterflies turned into a tight knot in his stomach.

Azriel let out a low groan and went to his wardrobe to get dressed. He put on a black T-shirt and black jeans - his standard uniform. He dried his hair hastily with the towel before throwing it in the hamper.

At 10.00 on the dot, Azriel’s phone started ringing on the kitchen island. Or vibrating actually, since he always kept the sound off.

Unknown number is calling

Azriel stared at his phone, suddenly feeling very shy and questioning everything he knew about computers. He checked his reflection in the microwave and let out a deep breath before answering.

“Hello, this is Azriel.” His voice was hoarse, sounding deeper than usual.

“Oh, hi!” A cheery voice said and he was a bit taken aback. In his stupid brain, he had imagined her answering in her whispering voice. “Is this… is this Shadowsinger?”

Azriel decided that her normal voice was just as wonderful as her whispering voice.

“Yeah, this is Shadowsinger. Or well, that’s not my name. I’m obviously not called that. That would be weird…” Azriel babbled, growing more and more self-conscious by the second. He took a deep breath. “I’m Azriel.”

“Hi, Azriel. I’m Elain.” He could hear the smile in her voice and it made him think of sunshine and flowers.

Elain. The name suited her. It was a welsh name that meant fawn. Or at least that’s what Feyre told him one night when she had spent three hours going over possible baby names with their entire friend group (After three hours, Azriel, Cassian, Mor and Nesta had been very drunk and started suggesting weird names from TV such as Khaleesi, Anakin and Buffy which led to Rhys kicking them out.) But Elain wasn’t a weird name. It was pretty. Just like the person that the name belonged to.

“Hello, Elain,” Azriel said quickly when he realized that he had been quiet for a short while.

“Azriel is… an interesting name.” He couldn’t tell from her tone if it was good interesting or bad interesting.

He chuckled. “Yeah, try growing up with the nickname ‘Ass’ in school. Not Az. Ass.”

He could hear Elain laugh and it warmed his heart. “Oh no,” she giggled.

There was a stretch of silence then, both of them unsure of how to begin this.

“So...” Elain started after a few moments. “How do I block words on Youtube, Azriel?”

As soon as the words traveled through the phone, he wanted to ask her to say his name again, but that would be weird. So instead he cleared his throat and got himself into work mode.

“Well, I didn’t know if you were a visual learner, but I created a Youtube account yesterday so I could show you what to do, and you could just follow along if you like?”

God, was he doing too much? Would she find this creepy? Maybe he should just tell her what to do without video.

But to his surprise, Elain did not sound creeped out. “Really? That would be so helpful! How...How can I see your screen though?”

Azriel huffed a laugh. It was kind of cute that she was so oblivious when it came to technology even though she had 250k followers on Youtube.”Well, we’ll change to FaceTime and I will be able to flip the screen and just show you what I’m doing. Is that okay with you?”

He was met with silence.

“Elain?”

“Oh, sorry. I was nodding,” she laughed. “Yes, that’s fine.”

Azriel clicked the icon for FaceTime on his screen and within seconds, her face filled his screen. Her brown hair was in a high ponytail and she wore a mint green hoodie. She wasn’t wearing any makeup and Azriel had to catch his breath. God, why did she have to be so beautiful? He realized that he was staring at her through the screen but his brain wouldn’t form words.

“Hi,” Elain smiled, her cheeks turning pink. “I kind of forgot that we would see each other and not just a screen. Sorry that I look like a mess. I’m going to the gym after this...” She gestured to her hair and Azriel had no idea what mess she was referring to.

“What? You look wonderful,” he said and as soon as the words registered in his brain he wished to be swallowed up by a hole in the ground. He winced. “I mean... I just–” he was making it worse. Lovely. “I just meant that you don’t look like a mess.”

She gave him the sweetest smile. “Well, You don’t look too bad yourself.” She was blushing even more now. Was he blushing too? He had never blushed in his life, so he didn’t even know what that would feel like, but he did feel a bit hot.

Azriel cleared his throat. “So,” he started. “I’m going to flip my screen and film my laptop now. Tell me if you can see what I’m doing.”

“Okay!”

Azriel logged into Youtube and held his phone in front of the screen. “Can you see?” He held the phone in front of his computer, and even though she couldn’t see him anymore, he could still see her.

“Just a second,” she said and held up a finger. She was moving and so was her camera. When she reappeared, Azriel was very happy that she couldn’t see him. She was wearing glasses and they made her, if possible, even more attractive. Her beautiful golden eyes looked even bigger. Like a fawn, Azriel thought to himself.

“Yes, I can see when you have the phone so close to the screen,” she answered.

“Okay, good. Are you near your own computer?”

“Yes! And I’m already logged into my Youtube account.”

Azriel nodded, even though she couldn’t see him. “Great. Then you should see your profile picture here in the corner.” He showed her where to look.

“Mhm, I see it.”

She was focusing so hard on the screen, she had probably forgotten that he could see her. She was leaning in close enough for Azriel to see her freckles.

I want to kiss every single freckle on her body.

The thought entered his brain before he could even react and he was very happy that she wasn’t a mind reader. He tried to ignore her face on his screen and focus on his task.

“You will click the photo, and that should display a menu,” he explained. “Like this. You are going to click ‘Youtube Studio’ here.”

Elain scrunched up her nose in concentration and Azriel thought that he might die from the cuteness.

“Done! What next?”

“Okay, then you click ‘Settings’ at the bottom here,” he showed her where to look. “And then you choose ‘Community’”

“Community?” She asked and bit her lip.

Azriel wanted to bite that lip too.

“Yeah,” he answered, happy that he didn’t have to come up with more advanced words.

“And then you scroll down to ‘blocked words’ here,” he instructed. “Are you there?”

“Yes, I found it,” she answered with a smile.

“Well, aren’t you a gold star student?” Azriel joked and Elain’s face went from smiling to blushing in a nano-second.

“Thank you,” she mumbled.

There was a beat of silence again. Azriel wanted to kick himself.

“What now?” Elain asked in a low voice, still determined to get this over with.

“Well, now you just fill in the words you want to block. Make sure that you separate each word or phrase with a comma. And then you just press save and that’s it.”

“Oh, okay. That was easier than I imagined.”

Silence again.

“Can you manage from here?”

Elain bit her lip again. She was staring somewhere behind her phone; probably at her computer. “Ehm, I’m not sure what words to block.”

Azriel thought back to the awful comments he had seen and could think of a handful of words.

“Well, just block the words that these commenters often use, and maybe block bad words in general? You can review your comments later, so if nice comments are being filtered, you can choose to restore them while deleting the bad ones.”

Elain nodded and Azriel didn’t know if he should hang up or stay. So he stayed. His camera was still facing his computer, and Elain was still filming herself. She looked lost in thought.

“Are you okay, Elain?” Azriel asked cautiously, afraid to startle her.

“Hmm?” She looked straight at the camera now, eyes still glossy.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just… tired. I really like doing ASMR, but this sucks. I just want to make people happy and spread positivity, you know? And still, I have to deal with this.”

“Yeah, that must suck.”

Azriel had a question that he had been burning to ask, but he didn’t know if it was too personal. However, as he told himself before, they were never going to see each other again. He could always ask, and the worst thing he could get was a ‘no, I don’t want to talk about it’.

So he asked.

“Elain, can I ask you something?”

She nodded absentmindedly.

“Yesterday you wrote that you had blocked those trolls multiple times. Are you certain that they’re the same people?”

She nodded again. “Yes. In the beginning, they were a bit more creative with the usernames which threw me for a loop. But I realized that it was the same IP addresses every single time, so yeah. I know. I mean, I get hate from complete strangers too, but these people are a bit more persistent .” The last word was spoken through her teeth. She looked upset, but she also looked like she wanted to hide it. Azriel decided to switch his camera back to his face so she wouldn’t feel as vulnerable. And so he wouldn’t feel like a creep for staring at her.

Elain looked a bit startled. “Oh, hi again,” she smiled, but it wasn’t as genuine anymore.

“Do you know these people?” Azriel asked through gritted teeth. He didn’t know why, but he felt very protective all of a sudden.

“Yes, I do. At least the three people that commented yesterday…” she bit her lip again, probably contemplating if she should tell him more. “It’s my ex.”

Azriel tried his hardest to not look surprised and pissed off at the same time. “All three of them?”

With a surprised look on her face, she shook her head quickly. “Oh, god no. No. Just one. His name is Graysen.”

MortalGraysen. Azriel remembered the username because it had sounded so stupid.

“And the other two?”

She let out a long breath. “His stupid best friends, Amarantha and Hybern. Stupid names, right?”

Azriel could only agree. “Very. Why is he bothering you like this, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Elain took off her glasses and massaged her temple lightly. “I dumped him after he slept with Amarantha and then…” she chewed the inside of her cheek. “Then he told all of our friends that he only slept with her because I was so boring in…'' her cheeks flushed again and she didn’t finish that sentence. She didn’t have to. Azriel understood perfectly.

“Okay, so he really is an asshole then.”

“The biggest.”

“Well, I don’t think you can block IP addresses on Youtube, but you could always try to block their names. It might work for a while at least?” Azriel suggested. He needed to help her.

“That’s smart!” she exclaimed and sat her phone down to type. He was very happy that she had leaned it against something so he could still see her.

“What other words should I add?”

Azriel thought back to the comments he had seen. Boobs, nudes, cock, jerk off and tits were all words that she should block, but they were also words he didn’t feel like saying in front of her.

“Just check their old comments and block the words they have used.”

“I’ve deleted the comments, but I remember a few words.” She typed again and Azriel could tell that she was uncomfortable.

“Hey, just block all sexual words and maybe swear words? That should probably work for a while?”

“Okay.” She typed again while Azriel waited patiently. Honestly, he would probably wait forever if it meant that he could watch her on his screen like this.

He felt like a teenager with a crush on the coolest girl in school. He knew that she was out of his league, but his body had not gotten the memo…

“I think I’m done,” she announced and smiled at her phone. At him.

Azriel smiled back. “Which words did you write?” he asked out of curiosity.

Elain picked up her phone and switched the camera so he could see her computer. In the box for ‘blocked words’ she had indeed written a few words.

Blocked words Graysen, Hybern, Amarantha, Boring, Dumb, Stupid, Weird, Ugly, Penis, Vagina, Sex, Sexy, Breasts, Feet, Ejaculation, Nipple, Damn, Fuck, Darn it, Hell,

“Do you think that’s enough?” She asked him in a low voice as if she was ashamed of what she was showing him.

Azriel had to bite his lip in order to keep himself from grinning. It was kind of sweet that she had written down the more technical terms, and not any words that would actually be used on the internet.

“Well, I think it’s a good start,” Azriel answered. “But I think there are a few more words that you should add. And maybe some you can remove from the list.”

“Which ones can I remove?” She leaned closer to her computer, probably trying to find the redundant words.

“I don’t think that trolls will use Darn it, for example.”

Elain pressed the backspace key a few times.

“And which words should I add?” she asked the screen. Her glasses had slid down her nose a bit and Azriel had an urge to reach through the screen and push them back into place.

Azriel scratched his chin, thinking about the best way to phrase it. “Maybe a few synonyms for the words you have written down?”

“Such as?”

Azriel held his breath. “Well…” Azriel hesitated. Was she serious or was she just trying to get him to say dirty words? “I don’t think that internet trolls will use the word vagina.”

“Oh,” her ears turned a lovely pink color. “So I should just add synonyms for that word then?”

“Sure.”

Elain looked lost in thought for a moment before typing again, this time a bit more aggressively. “There are quite a lot,” she muttered.

“Really?” Azriel could only think of two; pussy and cunt.

“Yes. I googled it.”

Of course, she googled a list of synonyms for vagina. Azriel couldn’t hold back his grin this time. She gave him a look he couldn’t decipher. “What’s so funny?”

“Oh, nothing,” he said, still grinning. “Can you read me this list of synonyms?” he teased, thinking that she would tell him to fuck off.

He was wrong.

“Well, there’s pussy, cunt, vajayjay, punani, ho-ha, flower…” she drifted off and Azriel could tell the exact moment it hit her that she was reading these words to a man she didn’t know. “Oh, god,” she groaned and hid her face in her hand. “Please ignore everything that just happened.”

Azriel chuckled. “I rather not. What’s the weirdest word on the list?”

He was invested now.

Elain looked at him through the screen again, but this time he could tell that she was suppressing a smile. “The weirdest one must be fish taco, or bald man in a boat. One just sounds disgusting, and the other one is just… weird? Like, I don’t get it.”

“I think that the ‘bald man’ is supposed to be the...uh,” Azriel could not finish that sentence. He knew that he was blushing now, too.

“Oh,” she said looking surprised, and then disgusted. “Oh, that just makes it worse.”

The laugh that followed was contagious.

As she laughed, Azriel thought back to the day before. To when he had watched her video to fall asleep. In her videos, she was so calm and collected - the complete opposite from this bubbly, laughing person on his screen. Both sides of her were equally fascinating to Azriel and he wished that he could get to know her better. She was so easy to talk to. Azriel never found anyone easy to talk to. At parties, you could find him in the corner with a drink and a good book. He was not a talkative man. But with Elain, he wanted to talk. And he wanted to listen. He wanted her to tell him about her day and her life, which was absurd. They had been talking for like 30 minutes. They didn’t know each other. They would never get to know each other.

“Thank you for helping me with this, Azriel,” Elain said when the laughter had died down. “I really appreciate it. I’m sorry for being a bit weird and reading you that list. I hope that I didn’t cross a line or…”

Azriel held up a hand to show her that he didn’t mind. “It’s no problem, honestly. I can’t remember the last time I laughed this much.”

Elain shifted in her seat and picked up her phone again, moving it closer to her face again. “Just like you couldn’t remember the last time you had slept well?”

For a second, Azriel was truly afraid that she was a mind reader because that meant that she had heard him think that he wanted to kiss all her freckles. And then, he remembered the comment he had left on her video a few days earlier.

“Yeah, just like that.”

She leaned her head to the side and regarded him through the phone. “Is that true? You can’t remember having a good night’s sleep?”

Azriel shook his head. “I have suffered from insomnia since I was a child. Sleep has never been a positive experience for me.”

He had never opened up like this to anyone. His former girlfriend never understood why he was awake and why he hated sleepovers. The insomnia had definitely destroyed a few relationships over the years. He could tell that Elain wanted to ask about it, but she didn’t. He really appreciated that.

“Well, I’m happy that I can help you with that anyway. It makes me feel less horrible for making you help me with this on a Saturday morning,” she said and gestured to her computer.

“You didn’t make me do anything. I offered. I was happy to help.”

She gave him the sweetest smile yet and Azriel was surprised when he didn’t melt into a puddle. “Well, thank you. Can I pay you for your trouble?”

Before she had even finished the sentence Azriel shook his head. “No, Elain. I really don’t want you to pay me.”

“Okay,” she bit one side of her lip again. Those damn lips. “Can I give you something else then?”

Did her tone sound flirty? Azriel didn’t know. He might just be hopeful because he started imagining all kinds of things she could give him.

“Like, maybe you could tell me your favorite trigger and I’ll make sure that my next video includes it?”

Azriel swallowed, his throat suddenly feeling very thick. “You don’t have to do that, I...”

“But I want to,” she interrupted. “What’s your favorite trigger?”

Azriel was trying to figure out a way to tell her that she was his favorite trigger without sounding like a serial killer. “Well, I don’t really know. I like when you whisper,” he tried, and when she smiled and nodded encouragingly, he continued. “Honestly Elain, I have tried to watch other ASMR videos but they don’t make me fall asleep. Your videos make me fall asleep within minutes. Whatever magic you put into your videos, that’s probably my trigger,” he half-joked.

“Hmm,” Elain regarded him. “I’ll figure something out.” She winked at him teasingly and Azriel hated that this was the first and last time he would ever get to talk to her.

“Well, I really have to go,” Elain declared. “I’m meeting a friend at the gym.”

“Yeah, I have to go too,” Azriel lied. He would have canceled any plan he ever had if he could continue this conversation.

“Well, thank you again for your help, Azriel.”

“Don’t mention it.”

She removed her glasses and looked straight into her camera. It felt as if she was staring into his soul.

“Goodbye, Shadowsinger.”

“Goodbye, Flower Girl.”

The call disconnected and he was left staring at his apps. Not a single one interested him.

With a heavy sigh, Azriel walked to his bed. He was planning to lay down and scream into a pillow when he received a text from a number he didn’t recognize.

New message I searched for a few more synonyms, and this one for penis is horrendous. Just listen to this: Meat banjo. Isn’t that just horrible? I’m definitely blocking that word.

Azriel couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up from his chest. It really was a horrendous synonym and he could imagine her sitting in front of her computer, making disgusted faces at the various words on her screen.

New message Oh, this is Elain, by the way.

And that’s when it hit him.

She had texted him and he could see her number. That meant that he could save her number on his phone. It also meant…

Well, he honestly didn’t know what it meant, but he didn’t feel like screaming into his pillow anymore.

[enmy-writes]

Baby Avenger

Summary: (Y/N) is one of the youngest avenger members and some government officials repeatedly let her know of “her position.” So, she lets them know exactly what her position is.

Word Count: 2100

Fandom: MCU Avengers

Pairing: Avengers x Reader

Genre: Fluff, soft, slight angst and sadness, & family love.

Rated: 18+

Content Warnings: profanity, death, abandonment, bullying, this is my first ever post of any fanfiction ever so it’s probably bad

**** This is my first ever imagine that I have ever finished and published. Please give me feedback and let me know what else I should write! I’m very excited and nervous so please let me know if you enjoyed this :) I’m thinking of making this Y/N character into a little “Baby Avenger” one-shot series, so let me know your thoughts ****

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Baby Avenger.

Baby Avenger.

Baby. Avenger.

 In her head, her stomping can be heard throughout the whole Compound and all of its residents and guests can hear her anger. They know she’s going right to the meeting room; not the team meeting room, but the meeting room they use when they have special guests in for a meeting.

The new government officials who are now “in charge” of the Avengers since The Snap Part 2 were in for the day to go over the general plans that the Avengers have been coming up with. They’re nicer than those in charge of the group from the Accords, but in no way were they nice to majority of the group as a whole.

(Y/N) (L/N) happens to be the second to youngest member on the team coming in at an age of 18, second only to her best friend Peter Parker

(Y/N) is an orphan, the typical origin story of any superhero. Her parents spent their last minutes pushing her out of their burning house in rural Pennsylvania. Actually, it was her father who got her out of the flames and by their fishpond 100 meters from the house. Her mother was inside, trapped under a steal beam in the basement.

(Y/N)’s mother was a scientist who worked in secret in a little band of scientists who tried to accomplish their own small victories in testing the alterations and limits of humans. The goal of these scientists is to stay out of sight of the CIA, FBI, S.H.I.E.L.D., and other government agencies. Most of them are left alone and those who get found are either immediately sent to a high security prison or recruited to continue their experiments for a certain country/agency.

(Y/N)’s mother decided to give herself her treatment she was working on instead of potentially kidnapping someone in the everyone-knows-everything kind of town that they had been living in. Her experiment and life studies were all in trying to find a way to unlock the rest of the human brain so that more than that small percentage is being used at a time. It has been hypothesized that humans could do a lot if their brains just used itself more.

The only problem is when she gave the treatment to herself, she was unknowingly pregnant, and the treatment attached onto that small lifeform instead of her own. She created a super baby.

No one knew the exact answer to what is on the other side of that tunnel of science. No one knew what opening the mind could do, there were only theories to support ideas. Plenty of scientific evidence, but it meant nothing with no legit proof.

Well, turns out that those on the team of “you will gain the ability to read minds and shit unlike any human” were the correct guessers.

(Y/N) can read others’ minds, move things with her mind, slow down time in her mind to be able to successfully breakdown a situation and perform the best possible reaction to anything that comes her way. Oh, and the color spectrum is broader for her, allowing her to see a significantly more amount of colors than a normal human (including seeing the aura’s and heat that people give off. Very useful in the few missions she goes on.).

But her parents are dead.

After setting small (Y/N) down, her father ran back in to save the love of his life. Or, well, that’s what the towns’ people say to romanticize the situation. A brave man trying to save his family.

In the end, her father had shaken his head, laughing at the moment like a mad man with tears running down his face. He pulled (Y/N) in for the tightest hug that he had ever given the girl—which is tight considering how close the two really were. They were just like two peas in a pod, the light of each other’s lives, basically soulmates.

But love makes you do crazy things.

“You listen to me, (Y/N).” He gripped her face in a painful grip, cheeks sure to be bruised later. “I will always love you. Don’t doubt that, baby girl, okay? I love you so so so so much” By this time, tears are pouring off his face, the neon flames coming from the house reflecting off his wet face. “Mommy… mommy just needs me now, baby. I need mommy, too. We love you so much.”

It had confused her, his words. Nothing could prepare her to watch her father run back into the house, leaving her by the pond with nothing but a small bag of little family things like pictures, little stupid gifts, and a notebook she had stolen from her mom’s bookshelf one day.

Her mother’s grandfather had been friends with Howard Stark, both science men having been in the same circle of famous inventors since before WWII. While neither her mother nor father personally knew his son, Tony, he was still listed as the godfather to the child. With no close friends allowed in their secret circle, old bonds and pacts that her grandfather had with the older Stark led to a blind trust in the man.

Tony Stark had agreed to be the godfather during a one-week bender in his 30s, and when he was yelled at about it, he chose to just keep it there because “the chances of this happening is very slim.”

But here we are, Baby Avenger.

The officials who are here now actually were the same people that used to do check-ins and such with them pre-Accords, so they knew the team better than any government official save for the rare union that the team members may have with government officials. (Y/N) randomly has one with the Queen of England (she did a favor for Her Majesty once, and now they have tea every third Thursday of every month).

They knew that Tony suffered from panic attacks, and they knew Steve was going through a never ending loop of an existential crisis, and that Bucky will most likely always be having an identity crisis, and that Sam cries to sleep a lot around a certain time of year that renders him almost useless in his sleep deprived state he puts himself into. They know EVERYTHING vulnerable about the team.

So, that means they know how when she first got to the team and to Tony that she wouldn’t speak to anyone unless absolutely necessary. It took her almost a year to be able to speak more than a sentence to every person she was around. No one was too upset, though, Tony was trying to figure out how to save himself and rebrand his whole legacy and the Avengers weren’t really a family family yet like they are now. (Y/N)’s shyness made it much easier on the adults to figure out their stressful situations.

The officials, though, never got why she wouldn’t speak to them. They actually pushed her progress back more and more with taunts and comments such as “Oh, the baby can’t speak?” or a “Get your phone out! She’s about to say her first words!” every time she did go to say something.

Tony soon got fed up with it and filed a lawsuit against them which threatened their agency enough to pull them out and let a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent be a liaison for them. After their presence was rid of, (Y/N) grew exponentially with her new family. She was still home schooled, but now she had Peter Parker as a friend and world geniuses as her teachers. She was an only child, but now she’s a big sister to Morgan and has plenty of people on the team that are dubbed her siblings (since they don’t act their age majority of the time to be considered aunts and uncles).

While she’s trained to fight, (Y/N) doesn’t go out on the field much unless they need her brain or her extended vision. She likes to remain behind the computer screen and help that way. She’s invented a way to make prosthetics like Bucky’s become more available to the general public and has started a school/home that’s three miles from the Compound for orphaned kids, mutants, super kids, and those who aren’t accepted where they come from.

In conclusion, (Y/N) is 18 and not useless in any way, shape, or form.

So why, why, do these absolute short dick idiots decide that they can come into here, her home, and push her around like she hasn’t contributed more to the Earth and society in the short 18 years than their middle-aged asses?

Eyes narrowed and seeing red, she stomps her way down the last hall, shoving herself into the door of the meeting room and throwing it open.

The team stays unfazed, knowing she’d show up pissed at some point. The officials, though, jump in their seat and turn to look at her.

It wasn’t the biggest meeting, the original Avengers plus Bucky, Sam, and Wanda sit around the table. Though, Rocket and Groot are here sitting along the back wall, looking bored as hell. Thor must have drug them along.

Fists clenched, (Y/N) narrows her eyes more. She’s been here since the first attack. Sure, she didn’t fight since she was like, 8 or so, but she was in charge of her man-behind-the-computer work. She’s been a part of the team since the beginning, and these assholes are too big of pricks to acknowledge that.

That’s what’s pissing the girl off. This could have been a meeting for every one of the fighters of the team, which she wouldn’t go to because that’s not her role. This meeting, though, was scheduled as “Originals plus the newly appointed leaders only.” She’s an original.

SHE IS AN ORIGINAL.

SHE. IS. AN. OG.

AND YET, they remained in telling her she wasn’t invited because “The Baby Avenger doesn’t need to join big kid conversation.”

She locked eyes with her adopted father and her best friend, aka Peter Parker, aka the only reason she knew this meeting was still being held.

Poor, lovely Peter. He grew confused when his best friend wasn’t sitting in between Mr. Stark and him for the meeting, especially when the officials referred to the meeting as they did. He was just there to take notes for Mr. Stark, not that the man wouldn’t remember it all. Pepper thought it’d be a good idea if Tony had written evidence to anything said in these meetings so that he wouldn’t be pouring statements out of his ass without proof, and poor, lovely Peter got elected to take such notes.

When he noticed you weren’t there, he had sent you a text asking where you were and that your drink that he brought you was right next to him.

“(Y/N)! It is so great to see you, my wonderful flower.” Thick arms wrapped around her as a golden man squeezed her tight to him. Thor and (Y/N) had a special relationship. They’re always close and do the most innocent of tasks together like flower crowns, step-by-step painting classes, and making those Tik Tok crocheted blankets made with that big yarn. He even had taken her to Asgard (back when it was a planet) for a royal ball where she was the guest of honor. They’re just soft together.

Though, rage blocked that softness that normally occurs between the two. Pushing off of him, she points her finger at the men in the front. The officials look like they’ve seen the devil and all of Hell and (Y/N) can see the fear pouring off of them.

“Let’s get this clear,” she says as she slowly stalks her way up to them. “I am an Avenger. I am an original Avenger. I know about 3,000 ways to kill you in this room at this very moment with anything. I drink tea with the fucking Queen on Thursdays, and I’ve created a better orphanage/school system in 2 years than this country has in the 250 years it’s been around. Don’t you EVER call me a fucking baby again, you fucking hear me?”

By this point, she’s right up in their faces, her glare unwavering and them sweating. The silence in the room was great and seemed to go on forever. The team held their breaths, some trying not to laugh and some scared of backlash that might be trust upon the girl.

With one last eye narrow (you could blindfold her with toothpicks at this point), she whips around and walks back to Thor, placing herself sideways on his lap and relaxing into his hold. Peter passes her (Drink Order) down the table, and (Y/N) takes it.

Clint, Bucky, and Sam try and hide their laughter when the meeting starts again as they look at their long-time teammate cradled and curled up in Thor’s arms, head on his shoulder and under his chin as she sips her drink with an angry look in her eyes and a pout on her face.

All wrapped up like a baby.

[paodequeijofeliz-blog]

Don’t you remember?

Bloodbound Fanfiction (characters and main story belongs to Pixelberry Studios).

Pairing: Kamilah Sayeed and MC (Annie)

Information: this takes place long after Bloodbound 3. In this scenario, MC was Turned only after giving birth to their daughter.

Summary: Thirty years after meeting Annie for the first time, now Kamilah is married and has a daughter who is about to get married as well. While preparing the wedding, they decide to remember Lysia’s childhood stories. This part 3 was inspired by an anon request and they’re the one who had this wonderful idea, thank you anon! You have all the credit for it!  💛

Warnings: just fluff and funny.

Part 1 Part 2

January 8th, 2049

The group was still having dessert and some coffee at the restaurant. Soon they would be leaving to take care of their tasks. Lysia had an appointment with the florist in the afternoon, where she would meet Drake so both could finally choose the flowers. Her attention was now captured by Lily showing some pictures of LA, until Adrian asked her a sudden question.

“Darling, do you remember when exactly did you fall in love with your fiancé?”

She fixed her posture, a little surprised. It was the first time Lysia ever thought about it. “Hmm… I guess… It was the day he met my mothers for the first time. When we were doing a school project together.”

“The night we made brownies? Really?” Annie’s eyes were sparkling of excitement. “I can’t believe it, I was there! And I noticed how he would smile at you.”

“All I remember is the stupid one.” Kamilah sighed, taking a sip of her espresso.

“Kyle! Oh my god, yes. He was hitting on you.” Lysia loved that part.

“WHAT?” Lily was almost finished with her dessert but dropped the spoon the minute she heard it. “Tell us. Please. I beg you.”

“Oh, my.” The Egyptian got back to her coffee, refusing to tell that story.

“Well, luckily I have a pretty good memory.” Annie couldn’t help herself. “It was a regular night��”

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September 20th, 2041

Lysia wasn’t a shy teenager, but she could be quite reserved and just a little bit judgemental regarding people her own age. Therefore, for her to bring friends to the Penthouse, it took years and a lot of encouragement from her mothers. Well, from Anna, since Kamilah couldn’t care less about other mortal teenagers.

That’s why that night should go well, so Lysia would feel comfortable enough to bring them again. It was just a school project, but Annie knew how kids could be, so she was fixing some snacks in the kitchen and had a silly program going on the TV. Luckily, there would be a lot of laughs and not much of studying tonight.

“Mom, I’m home!” Lysia’s voice came from the living room as she entered, followed by three classmates.

“I’ll be there in a sec!” The woman was just finishing to heat up some Brazilian snacks that would certainly blow their minds. After putting all of it on a bowl, and taking another one of popcorn, she left to the living room and dropped it on the coffee table. “Here you go! Brain food.”

“Wow!” someone whispered under breath.

“Mom, these are…”

“Wait, wait, wait, let me get the soda first!” she ran back into the kitchen, leaving Lysia with a hand hanging in the air.

“Is that your mother? I mean… It’s…” the girl standing beside the armchair couldn’t blink. “She is so pretty!”

“I think Nina just fell in love with your mom.” One of the boys laughed, the blond jock.

Annie came back with a huge smile and a trade of glasses filled by some coloured beverage. “There’s pink lemonade, and some other different sodas here. But if you want, I can bring some juice, tea, coffee, water, we’ve got it all. Alright, who is who?”

Lysia sighed, getting back to introducing them. “So, this is Drake. The one with the jersey on is Kyle and that’s Nina. Everyone, this is my mother, Mrs. Sayeed.”

“Annie.” She dismissed the formalities, stepping forward to give each one of them two kisses on the cheeks. That made the girl next to the armchair blush and giggle. “Well, there’s soda, popcorn annnnnnnnnnd something else. It’s a Brazilian snack, we call it salgadinhos. Just imagine if someone took a bunch of raw French fries and stuffed them with cheese, chicken, meat, whatever you want, then fried it. I believe this is the closer I can get of explaining how it tastes like. Try it. You’re gonna love it.”

“Thanks, mom.” Lysia went to get herself the only glass that wasn’t soda, but iced tea. “Alright, let’s sit on the floor and start this project.”

While everybody got settled quickly, the woman left them alone, not even noticing how Nina’s eyes followed her. The girl sighed and turned back to Lysia, a goofy smile on her face. “Your mother is the most beautiful woman that has ever lived.”

“Oh, gee! This is awesome!” Drake was super excited about a chicken snack he took from the bowl.

“Coxinha. It’s my favourite.” Lysia smiled at him for a second, but dropped her gaze to the books, trying to hide the way her cheeks blushed.

“I swear, her eyes, and her lips, and the waves of her hair, it’s all just so…”  Nina was still dreaming about Annie. “And the voice, that accent, where is she from again, Lys? I bet is a sexy country.”

“Brazil.”

“Told ya. Sexy country.” The girl popped one of those fried meat balls on her mouth.

“What makes Brazil a sexy country?” Lysia arched one eyebrow, a movement she learned with Kamilah over the years.

“Your mum.” Nina swallowed, eyes still lingering in the way to the kitchen.

“Oh, god. Alright, focus. Let’s get this project done.”

Slowly, the conversation started to fade away, as they got distracted by reading and writing. In a couple hours, Annie went to check the silent group to find out the food was gone, and so were the drinks. She took the bowls and glasses out, not risking making a sound, never even noticing how Nina sighed and blushed at her side. It was almost 8 p.m. by now, so Kamilah would be arriving soon. The woman stared at the clock in the kitchen, anxious about what to do. They all seemed so quiet and compenetrated, Annie didn’t want to interrupt, but…

“Mom?” Lysia called her at the door, an uneasy expression on her face.

“Hi, baby. Need some help?”

“No, no. Just… Wondering. We did a lot. Not all of it, as to be expected, but a lot.” The girl bit her lower lip, as she was still trying to decide whether to ask for something or not.

Annie knew that movement. It was like her daughter’s thoughts were being said out loud to her. She wanted to have fun, but her serious and committed little heart was telling her to stay focused on the studying.

“Hmmm, that’s good. But I think you should take a break. You don’t wanna risk writing a bad conclusion cause you’re too tired after doing a great introduction and development, do you?”

Lysia’s eyes sparkled. Excitement and relief. “I supposed not. What do you suggest?”

“Well, I was about to make us some brownies. Why don’t you call your friends here, and we make it together? We could put some music on too.”

“That sounds fun. Right?”

“It is fun.” Annie took that sweet teenager’s face between her hands. A seventeen-year-old girl, so incredibly smart and confident, yet so insecure about making friends. “Trust me. They’ll love it.”

She couldn’t be more right. In ten minutes, there was some pop music playing from a phone and a bunch of teenagers trying to figure it out how to make brownies. Mostly, they were just stealing the M&M’s, making jokes about the worst trash movie ever made and confessing the most embarrassing dates they had. Annie won their affection enough to pull Lysia into the conversation, then shrewdly distanced herself, concentrating on cutting the fresh baked brownies, so her daughter would have all the attention.

The entire house smelled like chocolate. That was the first thing Kamilah noticed when entering through the front door. All the unfamiliar voices were being heard even from the elevator, and for a moment The Vampire had forgotten all about that little gathering. She sighed, so tired. Left the purse on the table and high heels by the door, eager to have some brownies too.

Kamilah was jut crossing the hallway to the kitchen when a boy talking on the phone almost bumped into her.

“A… I’ll call you back later, dude…” Kyle’s eyes widened at that vision. “Holy crap, you’re gorgeous.”

“Excuse me?” the Vampire arched an eyebrow.

“Kyle Grant. You must be Kamilah.” He put a hand on the wall and a cocky smile on his face. “Heard a lot about you.”

There were so many answers crossing her mind now, but all she did was look down and pat his head. “I’m sure you did, little boy. Now why don’t you go sit with your friends, huh?”

And just like that, Kamilah removed his arm and entered the kitchen to look for her wife. Annie was cooking something by the stove, while the others already started eating the hot brownies. Lysia only gave her mother a cold glance, for she was still mad about a fight they had a couple of days ago. Drake was too distracted trying to impress the girl with good jokes to notice the tall woman, as was Nina, her entire attention captured by Annie’s explanation of what “brigadeiros” were.

“I swear, my love, one day everybody in New York will know all about Brazilian cuisine because of you.” The Vampire hugged her from behind, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

“Nah, it’s just party food. I haven’t even started explaining our barbecues.” She relaxed on Kamilah’s arms for a second, still stirring the melted chocolate with condensed milk in the pot. “There’s more brownies in the microwave. I saved you some.”

“Now you may have my heart.”

“Hmmm I already do, sweetheart.”

The Egyptian gave her a last kiss on the cheek and went to take a few brownies, choosing only the ones that had nuts instead of M&M’s. Suddenly, she felt the shadow of a small figure behind her, together with the smell of cologne. “Oh, no.”

“So, a fan of chocolate, huh?” Kyle hopped on the kitchen’s counter, trying to get closer. “What about we go out for some ice cream after this? Let’s ditch them.”

“You know you’re a baby, don’t you?” Kamilah took a bite from one of the brownies, barely glancing at the child beside her.

“Thank you, hotstuff. But I prefer to be called ‘babe’ instead of ‘baby’.”

“So, Annie, my wife and love of my life, do you need help there?” she turned to the woman by the stove, who only laughed at the despair on the Egyptian’s eyes.

“Of course not, you keep Kyle company, I can see how much you’re enjoying it.”

Kamilah clenched her jaw, turning back to the small cocky teenager who just took some mint bubble gum out of his pocket. Before she could say anything, though, Nina jumped between them. “K! Your father is calling me, I think he’s waiting outside. Can I get a ride?”

“Shit. Fine.” He winked at the tall woman at the same time he pinched her cheek. “Guess I’ll see you around. Hey, Drake, coming?”

From across the kitchen, Lysia was trying not to laugh at the image of a confused Kamilah who just met a hormonal seventeen-year-old jock for the first time in a very long lifetime. By the girl’s side, the other boy just shook his head negatively. “Later, I have my bike downstairs. See you two on Monday.”

 “Your call. Bye y’all!”

“Ahm. You. Nice. To meet. Farewell.” Nina blushed terribly, hesitating with the words, but melted when Annie gave her a quick goodbye hug.

After they were gone, the woman left the pot to cool off a bit, turning to see Drake’s silly smile to Lysia. She had been noticing how sweet he was around her daughter. “If you need, I can give you a ride home later. You can put the bike on the trunk.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Sayeed. But I’ll be fine. Let me take care of the cleaning.” The boy stood up and took the plates from the table, finally greeting Kamilah with a polite smile.

“Alright, if you insist. Kami, come with me?”

 Annie took her wife by the hand, leaving both teenagers to talk while doing the dishes. The Vampire still had a last piece of brownie that she gladly parted in half to share with the short woman who was hugging her by the waist. Annie took a bite from Kamilah’s hand, her eyes sparkling in the hallway’s lights.

“You seem so happy, my love.” The Egyptian kissed her lips, feeling the chocolate taste on them.

“I am always happy when I’m around you two.”

“I see what you mean.” Kamilah lost herself in that tight hug, listening to the adorable sound of Lysia’s laugh coming from the kitchen. “It feels good to be home.”

[that-little-bisexual-mess]

HPHM MC Fanfiction: ‘Ada’s Adventures Series’. Part 1 : September 1st, 1984. Chapter 1 : The departure.

[So, guys, this is it. I’m finally jumping into the other side of the Fanfiction World. Always a reader, now a new writer. I’m beginning this hopefully amazing journey with a first little story about Ada’s first day at Hogwarts (For the people who don’t know Ada, here is the link to her profile template : here. And here is a link to her mother’s profile template, who is important in this chapter : here).This first part of ‘Ada’s Adventures Series’ is going to retrace this very important day in Ada’s life. And the first chapter of this first part is focusing on the moment between she wakes up and the moment she goes on the Hogwarts Express. Over the last few weeks I started to developp a lot about Ada’s full story and her family history and all that. So, writing fanfictions about her felt like the next natural step. I’m also planning to write about other members of her family. I can’t wait for you to read it, if you like that kind of stuff. Little notes tho : I’m a baby writer, so it might not be very good. If you have any advice, can you please tell me what is good and what is not so I can improve myself? Also, English is not my native language, so, if you see any mistakes, sorry about that (I’m french, and btw there are tiny little french stuff in this fic, I wanted to add some French heritage, in the language mostly, since Ada’s has French blood on her mother’s side and her mother, her brother, Jacob, and herself are fluent in french. So I hope it’s a good little addition). ANYWAY, without further ado, here is my very first written piece. I hope you’ll enjoy it!]

[Keep reading under the cut]

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Ada Shelby, eleven years old, opened her eyes on September 1st, 1984. It took her a few minutes to remember what day it was and how important that day was. The evening before, she had had trouble finding some sleep because of how excited she was. After these few minutes during which her brain struggled to fight the lack of good sleep, she finally remembered that today, she was supposed to get on a very special train that will take her to the start of her new life. Her excitement grew again, and she jumped on her feet. She put her glasses on and looked at the clock on the wall facing her bed. 8:15 am. In less than three hours, she would be on the Hogwarts Express. Something she’s been waiting for years. She heard a knock on her door and her mother came in. Miranda Shelby was a very beautiful woman. Her blue eyes were filled with kindness and love. Her brown hair, which normally reached her shoulders, was tied in a ponytail, freeing her beautiful face from flyaways. Her warm smile, that always put joy in people’s hearts, was one of the warmest Ada ever saw. She was radiant. When she saw her daughter awake, she said:

“Good morning honey!”

“Good morning”

“Sooo? Are you excited about today?”

“Of course, I am! I already packed everything, look!” said Ada, pointing at her giant suitcase containing all of her robes and school furniture.

On top of it, an empty cage was waiting to welcome Ada’s new owl: a beautiful barn owl that she had named Merlot. She had decided to name it after the owl her maternal grandmother had once, when she was still alive. It was the owl the late French lady always used whenever she was writing to her daughter, Jacob, or Ada. The new Merlot was currently perched on the dresser next to Ada’s bed, her eyes closed.  

“I finished to pack everything last night, before going to bed” continued Ada.

“Good! You’re much more prepared that I was when I first went to Hogwarts”

“Were you nervous?” asked Ada.

“A little. Mostly because I didn’t really know what to expect since Mamie went to Beauxbâtons. She talked to me a lot about it, she loved her time there. But you’ll see, Hogwarts is just as great!”

Ada nodded but didn’t say anything. She was excited to go to Hogwarts, but she was also very nervous, for multiple reasons. The first and obvious one was the unknown of a new start. The second was the reputation her brother must have left to the Shelby name. Ada didn’t understand everything that had happened, but she knew the boy had been involved in some dark stuff and had been expelled from Hogwarts with his wand being officially broken by the Ministry of Magic. And now, he was missing. Ada knew her brother and she knew he would never be involved with Dark Magic by conviction. If he did, she was sure it was because he didn’t have a choice. But the other kids didn’t know Jacob like she did, and she was afraid she would get insulted by other students or hear students insulting her brother or even her mother. She didn’t know how she would handle that. Finally, he third reason of her nervousness was that she would leave her mother all alone. Her father was killed 3 years earlier and with Jacob now missing, Miranda will have to live alone for most of the school year.

“You’re sure you’re ok, Mon Ange?” asked Miranda, replacing a wild hair behind her daughter’s ear, suddenly worried to see her daughter lost in her thoughts.

“Yeah! Yeah, just a little nervous that’s all.”

Ada felt a little guilty to lie to her mother like that, but she didn’t want her to worry even more than now.

“Everything is going to be ok. You’ll see, you’ll have a great year. Actually, you’ll have seven great years!”

Ada smiled and nodded.

“Alright, we finish to get ready and we go downstairs to eat something before we go?”

“Yes!” said Ada, her excitement going up again.

Miranda smiled again before kissing her daughter’s forehead and left the room. Ada started took a shower and dressed herself. Half an hour later, she was ready. Before going out, she looked in the mirror and saw her reflection. Just like her mother’s, her brown hair reached her shoulders. Her maternal grandmother, Margot, always said that she was a spitting image of Miranda when she was young. After seeing a few pictures, Ada happily admitted that it was indeed the case. Her green eyes however, she had them from her paternal grandfather Anthony, something she was quite proud of too. She smiled a little and after checking that everything was in order, Ada started to go out of the room.

Miranda had decided that it would be better to sleep at the Leaky Cauldron in London to be closer to the King’s Cross station. Once they were both ready, they went downstairs and began to eat breakfast. For a few minutes, Ada looked at the other wizard present in the room while eating a buttered toast. Then Miranda asked:

“Do you know in which house you want to be?”

“I don’t really know. Every house has good qualities, and I personally know at least one amazing person that went to each house. You were a Ravenclaw, Ted was a Hufflepuff, Andy was a Slytherin, and Dad and Jacob were…” Ada stopped, suddenly worried to have upset her mother.

But Miranda smiled at her and completed:

“Dad and Jacob were in Gryffindor.”

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright without me, Mom?” Asked Ada before she could stop herself.

“Of course, I will be!” she said, stroking Ada’s cheek. “Now, let’s finish breakfast”

Ada knew her mother was not completely honest, but she decided to let it go.

They finished breakfast and went to their rooms to get their stuffs. Tom, the pub manager, helped Ada with her suitcase in the stairs. After thanking him, the mother and the daughter took the bus to go the train station. It was 10:30 am when they arrived. They still had thirty minutes to go on the 9 ¾ platform, which was plenty of time to exchange plenty of goodbyes before separating. Once they were on the platform, Ada’s excitement was at its peak. It was not her first time here, since she always came to say goodbye to her brother for his departures. But this time it was for her. She was the one to go to Hogwarts. A little bit of sadness started to reach her though, as she always thought Jacob would be here for her first departure to Hogwarts. She was also sad that her father wasn’t here like he was for Jacob. The tears were starting to fill her eyes when she suddenly felt a huge shock on her right side that almost made her fell on the floor. In her left hand, he could feel Merlot’s cage moving from the owl’s protestation to this shock. For a split second, she thought a student had hit her by accident, but then she heard a familiar laugh in her hear that made her realize it wasn’t an accident at all. Nymphadora Tonks was hugging her.

“ADA! We’re finally going, it’s today, we’re going to Hogwarts” said the young witch.

Ada laughed at her best friend’s excitement. They had known each other since they were babies and were best friends. The two were basically inseparable. Their families didn’t live too far from each other and it wasn’t rare at all to see the Tonks at the Shelby’s house or the Shelby at the Tonks’ house. Indeed, Nymphadora’s mother, Andromeda, was Miranda’s best friend since Hogwarts. When Ada was born, Miranda and her husband, Luke, designated Andromeda to be their daughter’s Godmother. A few months later Andromeda and Ted Tonks designated Miranda to be Nymphadora’s Godmother.

After a few second, Ada and Nymphadora finally broke their hug. Nymphadora’s excitement was all over her face. She had one of the biggest smile Ada’s ever seen on her. Her eyes were sparkling with happiness and her hair, that she had decided to turn purple for the day, was moving from the little jumps of excitement the girl was doing. A sight at her face made Ada’s sadness disappear. This kind of joy was communicative. Soon, Ada was wearing the exact same smile.

“Tonight, we will finally be at Hogwarts, can you imagine that?” Continued Nymphadora.

“This is amazing! So, you have everything on you? You didn’t forget anything?” Asked Ada.

“Oh come on Ada, I thought you knew Dora by now! She almost forgot her wand this morning, we almost left without it…” Said a male voice.

Ada turned her head and saw Ted and Andromeda Tonks walking between excited students towards them.

“Seriously?” Laughed Ada.

“Argh, details” Shrugged Nymphadora.

Ada laughed one more time and turned to properly face the Tonks. Ted, tall with kind hazel eyes, smiled and high-fived her. Andromeda, tall too, with the elegance and grey eyes she inherited from her birth family and the warm smile and gaze she inherited from herself, opened her arms to welcome her Goddaughter in them in a quick hug while saying:

“Hello Ada. Ready for school too?”

“Hi Ted, Andy. Yeah, I can’t wait to be there!”

“I can only imagine.” said Ted “Dora too, obviously. I don’t think she even slept last night.”

“Not very much, to be honest.” Responded Dora, who was hugging Miranda.

“Yeah me neither.” Said Ada.

“OH, you have an owl too!” said Dora, spotting the barn owl, now wisely placed in her cage again, though staring at Dora with mistrust.

“Yeah, her name is Merlot, just like my Grandmother’s old owl. Mom bought it for me yesterday.”

“She’s beautiful! I named mine Horton.”

Ada smiled and looked at the little black owl somehow sleeping in her cage, that Ted holding. How could the owl sleep with all the noises present on the platform?

They heard a whistle and the students present on the platform began to say goodbye to their parents and to enter into the train. With the help of their parents, the two girls dragged their suitcases on the train. Ada placed Merlot’s cage on hers and went back on the platform.

While Dora was hugging her parents, Ada turned to her mother with a smile.

“So, this is it Mon Ange” said Miranda, softly stroking Ada’s hair, with a smile that was a little bit sad. Ada started to get a bit worried about her mother again. “Just send me Merlot tomorrow morning to tell me everything about tonight, alright?”

“Will do” Smiled Ada.

She hugged her mother. She wanted to ask her one more time if she was going to be ok, if her leaving was going to cause too much harm. But she didn’t ask. She knew her mother was strong. She had to believe in that. It would be better for both of them.

They finally broke the hug and Miranda kissed her daughter on the forehead.

“Don’t let Dora drag you into too much trouble. She likes pranks a little bit much.” She said.

“HEY!” Protested Dora from behind Ada.

“You know I’m joking! Come and say goodbye, you little troublemaker.”

Ada faced Ted and Andromeda to hug them too.

“Don’t drag our Dora in your pranks, please. We know it’s actually YOU the real troublemaker here!” said Ted.

“Ted! That was supposed to be a secret!” Laughed Ada.

He laughed in return while Ada was hugging Andromeda. The latter whispered to her:

“I know you’re worried about your mother. I’m going to keep an eye on her, don’t worry.”

Andromeda always knew how to read her mind, somehow. She always knew what Ada was feeling or thinking. It was one of the things Ada loved the most about her Godmother. In addition of that, the woman always knew how to talk to her or what to do whenever Ada wasn’t feeling fine. This had led to a lot of heart-to-heart conversations and a strong connection had grown more and more over the years between the two of them. By talking about it to Dora, she knew her best friend and her own Godmother, Miranda, shared the same kind of connection.

After a few seconds, Ada stepped back a little.

“Goodbye Andy!” she said, trying to put in her smile all of the gratitude she was feeling towards her at the moment.

“Have a great year, Love”

With Dora, she went on the train and they both stood at a window to wave at their parents, while the train started to move. Once the train turned at the first turn, and the platform was out of sight, Ada turned to Dora:

“We’re going to Hogwarts!” she said with excitement.

“We’re going to Hogwarts.” repeated the young purple-haired witch.

The two had spent days and days talking about their future school. Most of the time, they were having the same conversation over and over, but they didn’t care. It was something they would share together, and it was the only thing that mattered.

“Come on, let’s find a compartment!” said Dora.

“Yes!”

Ada followed her best friend, most of nervousness starting to leave her. She trusted Andromeda Tonks completely and she knew that if someone could keep an eye on Miranda, it would be her. The relationship between the two mothers wasn’t too much different from the relationship Ada had with Dora. Knowing that her mother was in good hands and knowing that Miranda was a really strong woman, she started to debate with Dora on which house would more suit them while they were searching for a place to sit.

(To be continued...)

[dragon-writer]

Aaron Hernandez

Just finished the Aaron Hernandez miniseries. I don’t watch American “football,” so I didn’t know him. It was just up on Netflix.

By the first time you hear the slurred speech, I’m like, “Please don’t tell me this obviously brain damaged man is currently doing life in prison somewhere.” That was my first nightmarish thought and it turned into a horror show/suspense right off the bat because I didn’t know anything and I didn’t want to google it...

By episode two, it’s almost a comedy. Joker style. A comedy of very deliberate errors.

Parents who push their children in order for them to “make it” are good in a sense, but also kind of abusive, especially when you’re pushing them to excel at violent things. 

It’s not like God parted the skies and commanded Aaron to make it to the SuperBowl. It’s just an ego weak kid listening to his father. And then the Patriots with their military “football is life” bullshit just stepped in to keep it going... He’s just introjecting these neurotic drives one after the other at higher and higher levels because he’s talented enough to compensate... Nightmare.

I mean, I didn’t have to deal with trauma on that scale, but it’s a cold sobering moment when that disillusionment sets in and you realise that you’re physically and mentally irrevocably damaged because someone sold you on an idea. Because someone said jump when you were six and you just kept jumping till your twenties. 

And this is why I hate movies like Split that make dissociation seem like a magic trick that comes with cool powers. Sometimes, it’s as simple as breaking off a piece of yourself that doesn’t jump. That’s capable of anger and doing simple things like saying no. That doesn’t have to provide for anyone.That doesn’t have to represent a community. That isn’t being graded and statistically analysed. 

You create something that isn’t bound up in the same stranglehold you find yourself in.

We used to have a dog that they kept on a chain, day in day out, never barked, and they used to joke that if it ever got loose it was either going to run off or maul somebody. That’s what happens when you slip a leash and break out of an imposed routine of compliance. Sometimes you play cool and try to blend,  sometimes you go werewolf.

So yeah, I hate when abused, mentally ill or brain damaged people commit suicide. TVs, movies, real life, true crime. And then everyone is like, “The demon is slain!” as the sun starts shining down on Pride Rock once more. Fuck that. It might sound shitty, it might actually be shitty, but my moral stance is that it’s better to plan a homicide than a suicide. There’s that noble way of looking at it as if a suicide is protecting other people, but I mean, your own life and health has to be your number one priority. It’s like they say in MMA, protect yourself at all times.

And he’s in this sport where he’s being repeatedly injured while holding on to a ball, protecting a ball.. and it just occured to me, that the whole point of American football is using your body however violently to protect a ball because “Culture, money, entertainment...” 

And they made so much ado about the 40 million contract! How much of that did he actually get? Meanwhile his owner is worth something like 6 billion and he’s doing fine. Nothing traumatic going on there. He’s what, 80? Are there any stories about how dangerous it is to be an owner?

There were so many red flags. So many...

By episode 2, he’s just like... impulse killing. No planning, the most half-assed cover-up, and it’s sad because it’s just a really slow suicide all in all, but I’m still watching it because it’s really kind of unbelievable that it’s happening in the first place. He’s gone from shooting strangers to shooting friends to shooting people who were basically extended family, like a death spiral. So at this point, I’m worried for him and Shay and the baby...

And then he’s in prison for life, and for the nightmare that the story was so far, this is like a happy ending. I start coming up with possible endings... “Oh, so he got some therapy inside and he’s working in the prison library writing Harry Potter fanfiction or something. Gets at least monthly visits with his child...”

And then he kills himself and they’re doing slide shows on his brain in universities, like “Could you believe how fucked up the brain of this person was - this is so shocking! So he wasn’t just an evil killer? His brain was degenerated after a decade and change of chronic trauma in the name of a billion dollar industry sport that’s only played in one country? Wow?” 

Who gets to 27 with that kind of neurological degeneration undetected? Wouldn’t he have had access to the very best neurologists, psychiatrists, etc? It’s not some asymptomatic condition that springs up on you overnight. They didn’t have to cut his brain open after death to figure this out. 

And that’s off Medscape. You don’t need to be an advanvced pathologist to solve this mystery. And that’s why I think I’m upset at Netflix and whoever else made this for making a sensational drama out of it like there was some giant puzzle to be solved as to why he did it. All the rumours about his sexuality when the man’s already dead to garner more media attention and get people talking.

The man had stage 3 CTE. Giant-ass ventricles at 27. Record breaking. He’s the youngest person on record with such advanced degeneration. So maybe when he started shooting people on impulse it had less to do with his sexual experimentation and more to do with the fact there were holes in his brain. To feel yourself slipping away like that for years. Everyone’s fantasy on the outside, literally hollow on the inside. 

I mean, I’m looking at pictures of the man’s brain on a slab after midnight and reading the suicide notes he left like, “Well, he didn’t lose his spelling...”

What the fuck, Netflix? I needed a trigger warning on that.

I don’t want to hate on the sport, I just think it’s stupid. But then I follow another sport where a man was apparently fighting for years with one eye... Doctors let him fight with one eye even though his “good” eye isn’t all that good either...

It’s the same story of billionaires giving you shit pay for your life and organs. Same story of straw dogs. The only thing that made Aaron special is that he was young and good looking and his brain broke before his body so he wasn’t some irrelevant reitree. They didn’t juice him for everything he was worth so it’s all about wasted potential... 

The players at the end talking about how fine and healthy and normal they are... “Concussions never hurt me. Brain damage is a natural part of life. Thousands of us have CTE and we haven’t killed anyone...” It’s so disturbing. 

It’s like an ongoing international True Crime. 

So to end this note-to self rant, moral of the day - disappoint who you have to disappoint, hurt who you have to hurt. Don’t disappoint yourself, don’t hurt yourself. 

[youarejesting]

BTS365 Prompts.Week 46

[Full Masterlist] [Prompt Masterlist] [Tag yourself here]

Please tag me in your work if you use my prompts. I want to see your work. Ever your Jester. Tell me your birthday and I will tag you on your special day!

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        Nov 12th - 18th

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Kim Seokjin - bitter

Kim Seokjin was a model student, as well as both a model and a student. He excelled in everything and was loved by all, the only problem was you. You were always there either ahead, beside, or behind and you didn’t even try. Here he was trying his hardest with his studies and taking care of his appearance, skin, diet, and fitness. Not to mention struggling to get modeling gigs around the school, he would fight tooth and nail and you were rocking up last minute getting calls to join his photo shoots. He couldn’t escape you.

But the fans loved you together, they had started to ship you both bringing up your intertwined paths and he felt guilty for reading some of the fanfictions written about you, both because he hated and loved them. They always painted him as a gentleman that helps and protects you and has swag and you are sweet and attentive.

He wishes that were more like you. When you spill coffee on him in fanfics you help him dry and change maybe sneaking a kiss in the change room. In real life, you just give an ‘oops sorry’ and move on leaving him in a stained shirt.

That is until he wants to check the time but is too lazy to get his phone from his bag so he gets yours off the desk. Your background is a picture of the two of you from your first photoshoot. He feels kind of warm and soft at the thought. When a notification pops up, [Underwear: by JinxReader4life has updated chapter 15] A smile spread across Seokjin’s face as he placed down the phone and went to his bag for his own.

Searching for the fic, he found himself blushing, this was a heavy romance and he was kind of a jerk. He had to stop reading ready for the photoshoot, which funnily enough was an underwear and pajama company. After the pajama shots together laying and sitting on a bed. Jin was soon only wearing boxer briefs and you were in bra’s and underwear.

He was supposed to sit with you on his lap looking kind of sexy when he posed exactly how the fic described and he whispered in your ear the exact line from the fic. “We have to stop meeting like this, someone might think you have a crush on me”

Your cheeks were bright red and you buried your face in his chest, in embarrassment. Maybe he didn’t feel so bitter after all, maybe he enjoyed your unexpected company.

Min Yoongi - almond

It was getting cold, you shivered when your feet touched the bare wooden floors. “Where are my slippers, Holly?”

“Wait, I will get your slippers?” Yoongi laughed getting out of bed and racing around to locate and help you put on your slippers. You scuffed through the house freezing. “Why am I so cold?”

“How big are we today my love?” Yoongi opened his dressing gown and letting you snuggle against his chest.

“Um…” You checked your phone before slipping from his embrace to the cupboard. “Today marks the middle of week nine and today, the baby is the size of this almond”

“Wow you are growing so fast, I remember when you were just a little grain of rice?” He whispered to your belly.

Jung Hoseok - Tongue 

“Hey Y/n,” Namjoon called, “someone named Tongue emoji is calling?”

You raced for the phone and snatched it from Namjoon cheeks heating up, “Hello baby, is everything okay?”

The boys were all watching you and you tried to avoid their eye contact “I will let them know, okay bye”

“Who was that?” Seokjin and Taehyung grinned poking your sides with teasing laughter.

“Hoseok says he is going to be five minutes late he is just picking up some things”

They teased you to no end and just as you thought the teasing died down, Hoseok walked in grabbing you by the back of the head and kissing you fiercely. “Ah so that’s why”

“Why what?” Hoseok asked with a smile

“Why you are named tongue emoji in Y/n’s phone” Jimin nodded

“That’s not why Jiminie” Hoseok grinned cheekily and got ready for dance practice.

Kim Namjoon - twister

“Ha ha ha” Heavy panting from Namjoon was all that could be heard in the moment, as beads of sweat rolled slowly down his neck.

“Namjoon you have to loosen up, you aren’t loosing this for us” You shouted “We have to win come on”

“Yeah I get that but you try to put left foot red while you’re bending backward of Jungkook and under Seokjin” He hissed his foot almost slipping as he slid it behind him. “Who’s idea was it to choose the rooms with a game of twister?”

“Come on Namjoon, think of the master bedroom” You laughed, you didn’t really mind what room you got, you just liked to cheer Namjoon on, knowing he preferred the push and encouragement to when you were indecisive or dismissive. He liked to work hard to accomplish things for you.

Park Jimin - chaos

Namjoon dropped Jimin off at day care with a small smile watching him run off to his best friend Taehyung, the two hugged before they shared the dinosaurs amongst the two of them. Namjoon loved nothing more than being a dad, and was glad that when he started back at work he would still receive updates from the Day care centre with pictures and stories of how Jimin’s day was going. Today started the same breakfast and playing with toys and music inside and then it moved to playing outside. 

The next picture had Namjoon in stitches it seems Jimin had upturned the massive sunscreen dispenser and he and Taehyung were covered in a thick layer of the uv protecting cream.

Kim Taehyung - never

You were playing a game of never, Taehyung said the dreaded “Never have I ever kissed someone,” putting a finger down himself but getting two other people out. It seems he would risk his own fate to get the others out. He turned to see you with all five fingers up and frowned. 

“What do you mean you have never kissed someone?”

“I just, no one really looks at me that way, I am not really the person people want to kiss” You shrugged and he surprised leaning in his lips brushing your softly and as he pulled away he realized.

“Oh I am so sorry, I didn’t even ask?” He pulled you into a hug apologizing and you laughed.

“It was fine, it felt nice thank you for being someone I trust to give me my first kiss” You thanked him.

“That wasn’t a real kiss, people kiss there loved ones like that” Namjoon hissed feeling slightly annoyed he had gotten out.

Taehyung leaned in whispering gently, so close you could taste the sweet wine on his breath, “Can I kiss you again?”

Jeon Jungkook - voices

(I know I have done something like this before but the new RUNBTS ep got me wanting to write a series like this)

Jungkook started playing the latest online mmorpg, meeting some of the best players and slowly becoming the top guild within the game Pillage of Power known by the youth as POP! The guild Castle Bangtan was run by some really smart young man that Jungkook looked up to. His name was Ramon of destruction and he was their brains. 

Next was WWH, he was the Cleric a full of bad puns but the best buffer, had really quick protection spells and an odd animal companion. Suga/r was their lazy wizard who had so much skill and yet never used it unless they needed it. HobiHobi was there champion he was a great ranger, he had a sharp shot and rarely ever missed.

Chimmy was a Barbarian and he was always ready to fight, he put in a lot of effort so as not to let the team down. Vante was a Rogue, the most sneaky of the group always sharpening his skills when he could. And that Left Jungkook known as Kookie the Bard he could charm anyone if he tried. They were the top guild but they were being challenged by the rising guild T1 there members Faker, Teddy, Effort, Cuzz, and Canna. 

The tournament began everyone who had a guild had the chance to compete to rank in the game and Castle Bangtan was rising quickly up the ranks. The POP! Tournament came down to the last four teams the Semi finals and the finals were to be broadcasted in the large stadium, The other teams were professional gamers in teams and here they were just a group of nobodies from different towns and cities in South Korea.

Jungkook was handed the purple jumpsuit he was to wear during the broadcast, they had their names on the back. He slipped into the suit he had been sized for over email and he grinned. He felt so cool. Stepping out into the waiting room out back he saw a broad shouldered gentleman, “You must be Chimmy the barbarian?”

“No, I am WWH” He laughed his squeaky laugh.

Jungkook looked around and saw a tall figure, his black jumpsuit with the purple trims had the words Ramon of destruction. Trying so hard not to freak out he stood by the refreshments. “Try the lamb skewers, they are nice” a drawl said from the couch. 

“Suga” Jungkook said grinning

 “Kookie” He gave a soft smile back and shook his hands.

“Don’t get nervous now” Suga sat up and patted the younger boys back, “Chimmy has already drank his weight in water and is in the bathroom again.

“I am back, does anyone else think the legs of the jump suit are super tight, I can barely walk, feels like I am going to bust them”

Jungkook saw the young man and smiled, he knew that voice anywhere this was Chimmy the Barbarian and yet he looked too delicate in person for the part.

[evak-elu-nicotino]

A Gio & Marti friendship fic - part I

Okay, so I needed to write a Gio & Marti fanfiction because their friendship is iconic, and I wanted to do something pre-canon.

I hope you’ll like it ! Please let me know what you think of it !

And I’ll never be grateful enough to my wonderful beta-reader, @unfinishedbusinessss. Thank you so much girl, you’re a gem, truly !

Thank you for reading !

Fandom : SKAM Italia

Relationships : Giovanni Garau & Martino Rametta

Words : 4646

Chapter : 1/? 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24143155/chapters/58132195

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I. My life is changing and I’m so lost

Martino Rametta just turned ten when his parents started fighting all the time. He was worried. Staying up quite late at night whenever he heard them screaming in the kitchen, oblivious to the fact that their own son had a whole day at a new school to worry about. Marti slipped through the door to his bedroom and stood in the hallway, eyes tearing up. He hated the fights between his parents. He hated hearing them screaming insults at each other. Fighting about stuff he knew nothing about, hearing words he couldn’t possibly understand. He was ten, for God’s sake. His parents were supposed to comfort him at night when he was having nightmares. Comfort him about changing schools right before junior high, not fight about a woman named Paola. He didn’t know anyone named Paola, and he had a feeling that this Paola wasn’t good news. Either for him, or for his parents.

Martino already heard the word divorce several times at this point in his life, in other discussions, other contexts. He knew what it meant, and he was scared. His dad meant everything to him, and his mom’s hugs were the best. Honestly, he couldn’t possibly comprehend how much a change this big in his life could mean. He laid in bed that night, eyes wide open, silently praying, even though he never believed in God. His parents never took him to church, even though he heard several times that they both grew up in religious families. But since his four grandparents died before he was born, he actually never entered a church in his life.

Elisabetta and Giancarlo Rametta were the only family he had, since neither of them had siblings, and neither did Martino. His parents were his whole world, and seeing them fight like that wasn’t reassuring at all. Martino wasn’t a confident child. Growing up, his parents told him all the right things: he was smart, beautiful, he could do whatever he wanted if he put his mind to it. Martino wasn’t lazy per se: he was just an almost-teenager who wanted nothing more than to play calcio with the kids in his neighborhood, whenever they invited him to join them. So for now, his mind was set on football, comic books, and reading. He was rather a quiet kid. Not really shy, but not really the type of kid you’d describe at exuberant and outgoing. He kept to himself, that’s all. He had a rather large imagination and could spend hours in his bedroom, sometimes drawing (rather badly, in his own words), sometimes just daydreaming, staring out the window. He grew up not having too many friends, and that was really fine with him. He honestly didn’t need a lot in his life, because he had the safety of a loving family and a few friends he could count on. That was more than enough to him.

Giovanni Garau was his best friend. They met on the first day of preschool, exchanged a few words, played football during recess, and that was that. They had been the closest friends could be ever since and honestly he couldn’t quite picture his life without Gio in it. And the fact that they managed to convince both set of parents to change schools a year before going to junior high was a fact he couldn’t possibly wrap his head around. Last year, Martino grew several inches. He got taller than any of the other kids in his class, but not really a classy kind of tall. He was the lanky kid that almost everyone started making fun of. And on top of that, Martino had brownish-red hair. Not the kind of in-your-face red hair, but still. He had freckles from a very early age, freckles that weren’t only on his face, but on his thighs, back, shoulders and neck as well. So yeah, being the tall, lanky redhead kid with freckles wasn’t exactly the most fun thing to live through.

As always though, Gio had his back. He was the one who talked to his parents and told them that Marti was having a tough time at school, kids making fun of him all the time, stealing his lunch, his homework, sometimes even his shoes whenever he was in PE class. At first, honestly Marti’s parents didn’t really take him seriously, but Marti, who was listening from the his own bedroom, door ajar, soon realized that his parents had his best interests at heart, and so did Gio. He talked to them for almost half an hour and when they finally said, “Okay Giovanni, I promise you we will think about it, thank you for telling us.” Martino almost couldn’t believe it. His best friend came back to his room, smiling like a madman. He looked so smug Marti almost wanted to smack his arm, but he was so grateful to him. He got up and hugged him hard. “Let me go Marti, you’re suffocating me,” Gio laughed, crinkled eyes and a smile tugging at his lips. “Seriously, if they say yes, I owe you big time. Those guys just...” Martino didn’t finish his sentence. Gio sat down on the bed and patted the sheet next to him. Marti sat on the bed, head hung low. “Hey, Martino, whatever happens, even if we don’t change schools, I’m always gonna be there for you, don’t you worry. I’ll be by your side day and night if need be. You should know that by now, nothing’s gonna stop me from protecting you.” He had such a serious look on his face. Marti had no other choice than to believe him. Thank God for Giovanni Garau.

II. Being a teenager : where’s the handbook ?

On his twelfth birthday, Martino wakes up to the smell of coffee wafting from the kitchen, and his mother bustling around, moving pots and pans from one side to another. He enters the room yawning, scratching his hair which sticks in every direction. His mom smiles up at him, and kisses him fondly on the cheek. “Happy birthday honey, I hope you’re gonna have an amazing day! Auguri!” He smiles up at her. The divorce didn’t go smoothly, but his dad behaved like a complete jackass. Martino is a little mad at him, to be honest. And most days, his mother is crying in her bedroom and the worst thing is: he can hear her, and there’s nothing he can do about it. So he huddles up into his bedsheets pulling up the blanket above his head, putting his earphones on, and falls asleep listening to some random songs. Being twelve isn’t exactly easy for Martino. Gio is starting to really show interest in girls and Martino just isn’t interested. He really can’t see the point of them: long hair, frilly clothes and pink shoes, sometimes lip gloss or even worse, lipstick. But he sees Gio’s gaze lighting up whenever he sees one, trying to chat them up, strike up a conversation, manage to get a laugh or two out of them. Just being his charming self, and sure, having baby blue eyes doesn’t hurt.

The girls, to be fair, seem quite interested to Martino as well. One or two of them actually talked to him once or twice and Marti’s gotta admit, he kinda understands what Gio sees in them. Some of them are pretty. But at the end of the day, Martino’s better off reading or listening to music. Or better yet, talking to Gio for hours and hours on end. He doesn’t mind that his best friend doesn’t have a girlfriend, to be honest, because when he will, he just knows that everything will be different. He’s not ready yet for their friendship to change. So he clings on to Gio like he’s his rock, which he kinda is.

One morning, Martino’s waiting for his best friend in front of his house, checking his watch every now and then. He frowns upon seeing that it’s already past 8:30 and Gio’s nowhere in sight. He knocks on the door, only to have his mom tell him that he already left for school. And then she adds, with a smile tugging at her lips, the sentence that’s gonna make Marti sad for the whole day. “He was with a brunette. I think her name is Laura, or something like that. Didn’t he tell you?” Marti smiles, nods, and wishes Mamma Garau a good day, before turning on his heel, on the verge of tears. How could Gio have stood him up like that? And more importantly, what was he doing with that girl from their class... Laura? He shows up at school, puts down his bag next to his chair, anger boiling inside of him. He bites the inside of his cheek as the teacher gets up in front of the class and starts the lesson of the day. Ignoring Gio’s repeated whispers to his right, Martino tries to concentrate on whatever la Prof. Marca is saying. But for whatever reason, his ears are ringing, and his cheeks are flush. His hands are somewhat shaking and he knows he has a right to be angry at his best friend for standing him up for some girl he barely knows. Although, deep down inside, Martino has a feeling this isn’t the typical reaction you have when a close friend of the same gender gets a crush on a girl. His stomach drops a little, and he shakes his head, trying to think about something else. Anything else but the fact that the feeling he recognizes in his gut is called... Jealousy. Martino wakes in the middle of the night, drenched in his own sweat, and he frowns, disgusted by his own smell. He gets up, changes pajamas, puts on deodorant, and even takes the time to actually change his sheets. He focuses on the tasks, meticulously. His brain is reeling, heart beating so fast he was actually scared of having a panic attack. He has to forget the dream he just had, nothing makes sense. He goes into the bathroom, glances up at the clock. 4:17AM. And he has a big English test tomorrow. He needs to get some sleep before heading to school, or his mother will let him know how she’s furious with him for getting a bad grade. A grade he knows he’ll get if he doesn’t go back to sleep as soon as possible.

He turns off the lights and lies in his bed, eyes wide open, willing sleep to just come and take him peacefully. Half an hour later, Martino’s brain gone to places he just hates so much. He’s in the middle crisis of self-loathing, when he can’t take it anymore. He gets up, and slips into the bathroom, taking a glass of water, trying to think about something else. Honestly, anything else would be better than this torture.

Marti knows that generally speaking, teenage years are the toughest to get through. Sometimes identity and sexuality crisis can happen. It can be the time of your life when you start to figure out... stuff. But he really can’t wrap his head around the fact that he just had this dream. A dream that makes him recoil every time he thinks about it. God, what did he do in a previous life to deserve such a karma... Honestly?! At 6:30AM, when he finally gives up and decides that he won’t get back to sleep before his alarm goes off, he gets up again and prepares himself some breakfast. He’s in the middle of his second piece of toast when he hears his mom gets up as well. She enters the kitchen and makes a beeline for the coffee machine. Marti would gladly do the same, if only he was allowed to drink coffee. His mom has decided that twelve years old isn’t old enough and that it could mess with his still developing brain and body. She looks over to her son, smiles, then notices the dark circles under his eyes. She puts down her coffee mug and sits across from him, worry written all over her face. “Everything alright honey? You look like you haven’t slept at all...” Martino sighs, and runs a hand over his own face. “No Mamma, don’t worry, I just had a...nightmare, and woke up drenched in sweat. Couldn’t go back to sleep afterwards. Nothing to worry about.” His mom looks worried though. He tries to smile reassuringly, but fails miserably. He’s not really feeling up to going to school today, but he really doesn’t have a choice.

He puts his brave face on, gets up, brushes his teeth, puts on his favorite shirt, and grabs his backpack before giving his mom a kiss on the cheek. “Bye Mamma, have a good day, and please stop worrying. Okay?” She bites her lip, and Marti smiles at her. “Hey don’t worry, I’ll sleep better tonight, that’s all! Nothing to worry about! It’s not the end of the world. Stop worrying and go to work, you’re gonna be late,” he says, before closing the door of their flat behind him. He takes a deep breath and exhales shakily, eyes closed. No time to dwell on his dream from last night, which is still in the back of his mind.

Goddammit, this day is gonna be a long one.

III. Don’t ask me that

Martino’s fourteenth birthday was celebrated a few weeks ago, when his mother drops the topic he certainly didn’t expect in the middle of his carbonara pasta. He made it from scratch, since his mom lost her interest for anything cooking related a few months after his dad left. Martino’s actually quite good at it and his carbonara tastes amazing. He’s enjoying it, when he hears Mamma Rametta clearing her throat, which is NEVER a good sign. Generally it means that she’s getting ready to talk about a delicate subject. He lifts an eyebrow, curious as to what topic she wants to discuss. “Martino, you know, fourteen is an important age. What I mean by that, is that a lot of young people nowadays...” She interrupts herself, clearly not at ease discussing the subject. Marti looks like a deer in headlights; he’s frozen in his seat. He takes a deep breath and braces himself for what’s about to come at him. “You need to protect yourself, honey,” his mom finally says, and he groans from embarrassment. “Mom, please, can we PLEASE not have this discussion?! I beg you!” he says through gritted teeth, closing his eyes. God, this is the worst time to talk about this. He’s already dealing with the million disturbing thoughts he’s having about...well, girls, and the fact that apparently they’re just not that appealing to him. He’s afraid to dwell on that thought, so he just buries himself into drawing and reading. That’s a good enough solution to his problem for now. It works... for now, at least. She shakes her head, the wrinkles around her eyes crease a little more. She looks serious now. “Martino, girls and boys your age are generally very... enthusiastic and go quite far sometimes...without using condoms, or any idea of what they’re doing. So I want you to be prepared, and to never do something you’re not ready for.” “Oh my God Mamma, really? Are we really having this conversation now, in the middle of dinner? Dinner that I made from scratch?” “Martino, come on. You’re not giving me much to go on here.” “No, because I don’t want to! This is my private life you’re hinting at and I’m not discussing it with you.” He pushes back his plate on the table, and inhales deeply. No need to get worked up over this kind of conversation, he thinks to himself, she’s just looking out for him. He knows that, deep down, but he really doesn’t want to think about it. Any of it. Girls, sex, nothing. It’s not like he has a girlfriend anyway. Gio is much more advanced in that area, he noticed. He has had a girlfriend for a few months now, that brunette, Laura. Sure, she’s nice enough, pretty and funny, but what is it with girls exactly? He just can’t see what the big deal is, honestly!

In front of him, Elisabetta Rametta lifts an eyebrow, and just smiles at him, before putting her hand on his. “Is there anyone you like at school?” Martino gets up so fast his head starts to spin a little. He would run away from the kitchen, but the flat is not that big and he has nowhere else to go. “Please stop Mamma, te l’ho già detto, I already told you, I’m not discussing it with you.” She smiles knowingly, and it annoys the crap out of him. “Oh so you like someone, don’t you?” That’s it. He’s had enough of this nonsense. He storms out of the kitchen, leaving dishes, plates, glasses, cutlery, everything on the table, and just stomps into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Thank God his dad actually put a lock on his door, so he’s able to just put his headphones on and ignore his mom trying to talk some sense into him through the door. He puts on music, volume up, and just lays on his bed, eyes shut. God, he wishes he could be anywhere else right now.

IV. Crumbling down

Martino’s fifteen and he’s struggling like hell. Gio’s drifting further and further from him with every day that passes. He’s madly in love with Laura and Marti hates it with every fiber of his being. Terrified to uncover what it could possibly mean, he spends most of his time daydreaming. He avoids his best friend at all costs, which isn’t really hard. Laura and Gio spend all their time together anyway. They seem to be kissing every time Martino looks at them, and it makes him want to throw up so bad. At home, Martino’s mom dropped the subject of sex, and he is relieved to no end. He found a pack of condoms on his bedside table one day after school, with a note folded and taped to it. He opened it to find a somewhat endearing speech from Mamma Rametta, saying how much she understands that talking about it can be difficult, but that she’s here if he needs to talk. And that in the meantime, he needs to look after himself and to use condoms if he wants to have sex with someone. Marti sits on his bed, staring at the piece of paper, puzzled. He notices how his mom didn’t use the term girlfriend or girl, in her note. He might be reading too much into it, but the weight in his chest lifts a little.

Truth is, Martino Rametta has the biggest problem of all time. Last month, he stumbled upon an article which made his breath catch in his chest, and his heart skip a beat. His mom left a newspaper on the table, right before heading to work. It was Saturday, 13th of March. He remembers the date oh so clearly. His eyes fixed on the bold letters of the title: “Italians progressively changing their mind on same-sex marriage: a change incoming?” To his horror, Martino felt tears well up in his eyes, and he closed the paper forcefully. He hated this stupid newspaper, hated Italians, hated himself. He didn’t want to deal with it, with any of it. He just wanted his life to stay the same. He wanted to have a girlfriend, to be straight, to be normal. He wanted to fade into the crowd, not stand out because he was different than his classmates. He didn’t want to really address that question, the one that had been buried in the back of his mind for several months now. It all started in the locker room. They were on their way out of the PE class. Marti sat down on the bench, still catching his breath from all extra running laps they had to do. Only Gio and himself, just because Boccia decided that they were talking too much during class. Everyone had already left, of course By the time they reached the changing room, Gio scoffed dramatically, “Boccia is really a stronzo, making us run all these extra laps! Seriously, who the fuck does he think he is?” Marti chuckled. “The gym teacher, maybe?” he jokes lightly, removing his socks before they get all wet. The floor is disgusting as fuck. The other guys probably got out of the showers still dripping wet. They made a mess and didn’t bother to clean up after themselves. Marti gets up from the bench and his foot starts slipping. He screams, arms waggling, trying to steady himself, but to no avail. An arm slips around his middle, and puts him upright. Martino blushes a deep red when he realizes that Gio is squeezed against him, torso against his back, thighs against thighs, his warm hand right above his boxers. He can feel him everywhere and it’s too much, all off a sudden. Fuck fuck fuck!

“Thanks mate,” he mutters under his breath. He curses internally, almost runs to the showers, eager to drop his boiling thoughts under the water. “Everything okay Marti?” he hears Gio’s voice behind him before he steps into the shower stall. He closes his eyes, back to him. “Yeah,” he croaks, “almost fell and can’t seem to catch my breath! Talk about being in bad shape,” he laughs, trying to drown his shame and guilt. Stepping under the water and cries silently under the shower. He knows he’s known for quite some time now. He just knows that he’s attracted to guys. He just knows. The way he ignore girls and focuses on boys isn’t just a phase. Tries so hard to feel something for girls. Tries to get excited at the prospect of spending some time alone with one of them. But no matter how hard he tries, it’s still not working. Nobody has touched him before Gio. It’s not even a romantic gesture. Gio just caught him before he fell face first on the changing room floor, which could be a metaphor for his whole life, at this point. Gio is being an amazing best friend and Marti’s here, thinking about him that way. He can’t do this. He has no right to. He has no right to imagine Gio in his arms, in his bed, trying to kiss him senseless. Oh, he definitely can’t go there while showering next to his best friend. Naked best friend, his brain not so helpfully supplies. He groans into the crook of his elbow and closes his eyes again. He has to do something, anything, to try and prevent this from happening. He can’t be gay, right?

V. Please send help.

Martino is sitting on his couch, frowning at his biology textbook. His brain hurts, his legs hurt because he played calcio for several hours with the neighbors. His heart hurts because he now has a huge crush on his best friend, and everything sucks, really. Plus, he really hates biology. And he needs help. He grabs his phone, texts Gio, and drops his textbook next to him before closing his eyes. The flat is quiet, his mom has picked up a few extra hours at work and Martino’s grateful for the time he can spend alone. He needs it more than ever these days. His behavior has changed, slowly. He’s falling into patterns he hates, like lying about anything and everything. He’s hiding and he hates it, but for now that’s all he can do, really. Self-loathing has become his best friend; sadly replacing Gio. Gio who is supportive as ever, being the best friend Martino doesn’t deserve. Every time Marti shows up late at school, Gio is at the entrance, waiting for him with a smile tugging at his lips, as if nothing has changed. As if Martino doesn’t blush whenever he thinks about Giovanni. As if he doesn’t want to kiss his best friend as long as he can. As if Martino isn’t betraying their friendship. Marti sighs again, and picks up his phone. A text from Gio. He freezes when he reads it. “I’m on my way, I need to talk to you.” Martino closes his eyes and fights through a panic attack. 

Gio knows, he knows. 

He’s coming here to yell at him, to insult him, to call him names and to ask him to never talk to him again. Oh God, this is the end, Marti thinks, full-on panicking now. He gets up, wants to scream into a pillow, wants to run away from here. He wants to hide and die in a corner, where no one can find him. He doesn’t deserve a friend like Giovanni Garau, and now Gio knows it too. Marti cries into his own shirt, because he doesn’t know what else to do. He hates himself with a passion, and he wishes he could vanish into thin air. A knock on the door, and before Martino can even answer, Gio opens it and finds his best friend sobbing on the couch. “Hey, Marti,” he runs towards the redhead, who’s crying like a child. “Please, don’t hate me,” he says, swallowing his guilt and grief. “Please, don’t leave me.” Gio flops down on the couch next to him and hugs him without saying anything. What the hell happened to his best friend? Who made him this miserable? “Martino, talk to me. You can’t go on like this, you have to talk to someone, or else you’re gonna have a breakdown. I’m here, I’m your best friend, talk to me mate!” Gio whispers against his best friend’s shoulder. “I think I have a problem,”Marti whispered back, eyes still closed, trying to calm down. He doesn’t want to talk about it, not really, but he feels like he doesn’t have a choice. It’s either this or he’s gonna end up crazy.

Life sucks right now, and maybe he shouldn’t do this, maybe he should keep to himself, but the words fall out of his lips before he can even help it. “Gio... I think I don’t like girls.” A beat. Marti looks up at his best friend, who’s still snuggled up against him, body entirely turned towards him, and he can feel him smile against his shoulder. “Okay,” Gio says slowly, his eyes sincere, and full of affection. “Why do you say you have a problem then?” Martino feels tears welling up, and he swallows against the lump in his throat. A weight is lifted off his chest, and he feels like he can breathe again. “Gio, come on. You know as well as I do that it’s gonna be painful. And hard. And people are gonna hate me. And call me names.” Before he can even finish his sentence, Giovanni stands up, looking angry. “Like hell they will, Marti! Do you think I won’t be there for you? Do you think I’d leave you once I knew that you were gay?” Marti recoils. He hates that word. It embodies hate and fear, and he’s scared of it, more than he’s willing to admit. “Don’t say that,” Gio says, softly. He flops back down on the couch next to Martino, and grabs his shoulder. “Don’t think for a second there that I’m gonna leave you alone to fight this through. What kind of a friend do you think I am?” Marti smiles through his tears. He’s exhausted, all of a sudden. Coming out for the first time of his life, to Giovanni Garau, his best friend, was definitely the right choice.

[migleefulmoments]

One of my fave Disney Princess stories is how she often implied that one of her 3 male LGBTQ+ actor ROOMMATES in LA is Oliver Stark. She said her roomie was a regular on 9-1-1 (dating back to s1) who was in every episode, was young (25-35), hot and unmarried. Oliver is the only guy that meets her stated criteria. Since she also said 2/3 of her LGBTQ+ roomies are closeted (and the 3rd is out), what's she implying about Oliver? Who outs close friends? It'd be horrifying, if it wasn't ALL LIES.

I’m just looking through some posts and found a bunch referring to her roommates as “L” and “A” -no mention of the 3rd one but I know she has claimed 3 in the past. I found this post about “L” calling her baby and clearly flirting so IDK what she is claiming with this. 

She says she is staying in the mansion of the wealthy roommate so here we have mention of the hot gardener (as an aside, how many WalMart and Sam’s club stores are there in 90210-ok I looked the nearest Sam’s club is almost 40 actual miles which in LA is 3000 miles; WalMart is only 10 miles. I used “90210″ so super generic and I’m not sure that is where she claimed she lived- but the rich dude who owns the huge home and drives a BMW SUV he freely let’s random model/actor/influencers use isn’t driving 40 miles to Sam’s Club to save on chicken salad.) 

La chronicles: I was tricked.

L: baby, I’m running to the store, wanna go?

Me: nope I’m staying here and salivate over this fan fiction and the gardener…. Whichever goes shirtless first.

A: *barks out a laugh* don’t molest the gardener.

Me: who me?

L: come on baby..

Me: noooooo. Sex and intrigue.

A: *Snorts*

L: I’m going to that little organic place you love…..

Me: chicken salad????? With the sprouts.?????

L: yep yep.

Me: okay!!.

A: have fun

Me: *running out the door shouts back* tell me if he gets nnnneeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkiiiiidddddddddd

L: BABY!!!

Me: what? He knows he is hot….

………….……….……..

(Thirty minutes later.)

Me: the fuck is this?

L: I said I needed to go to the store….

Me: no oo you said organic grocery…

L: yeah and I’ll get your chicken salad after we stock up.

Me…………..

Me……….

Me: but that’s sams

L: pretty and brains

Me: but but ….. only place worse to be on Saturday is hell mart!!!! I don’t wanna go in there..its gonna take forever

L: suck it up buttercup

Me: I was fucking tricked.

L: lead by the tummy…….

More about “L” who is apparently famous enough to have fanfiction about himself which he can readily find.  .  

Watching Nomie

Youd be surprised who visits tumble land.

L loves reading fan fiction about himself (he says he gets more game online than he ever does in real life) and tumbler. 😂🤣🤣😂😂😂. He has a ridiculous fascination sharing gifs of himself. he’s a goober. They crack him up.

Below is her post about how she was bearding and had to hide “A” -is he her  boyfriend of husband now she is hiding him along with her kids. Her kids were never living in CA that I ever read.  They were in South Carolina she occasionally talked about being separated from her teenage kids but that it was her time now and her career was important. She would write about being in LA most of the time-cryptic parties and work posts- and going back and forth to SC though she rarely posted from SC- except during one of the hurricanes.

Anonymous asked:

Hmmm ok I'm slightly intrigued maybe u do get it But most probably you don't Have you ever given up and gave away something you shouldn't have because you thought it was for the best and that guilt just fucking eats away at you every day I have lied to everyone even my family to hide something I didn't even know about The work was more important and I would have sold my soul to get what I wanted I just don't know now if any of it was worth it and tbh I don't think the big guys even think it

answered: Yeah.

I had to hide my kids for two years when I first got back heavily into modeling and switching back to acting. Was also bearding. Because I look so much younger than I am, they were afraid it would show negatively work wise. Also they didnt want questions about A and the minis. (I’m still cast as characters ten years younger than the actress that usually plays my mother. Its the cheeks and the voice).

One day I fucked up and mentioned my kids and it got in print when they were talking about fashion week. A was cool about it. But it resulted in a huge move for the minis and the whole family had to adjust. Mine and his.

There are other times I purposely fuck up. Because you just get sick of juggling. Other times its an honest mistake and then you deal with the shit and move on.

So now she and “A” have minis (kids) and they had to move. I’m not sure what the hell she is trying to spin here but clearly he isn’t the platonic roommate hanging out in LA. 

I found posts tonight where she claimed she has two friends in Hollywood who are gay and came out and one friend who slammed the closet door so hard it shook after he got an important role. 

I had no idea about Oliver- good sleuthing. 

She claims she’s pan and that gives her permission to say rude and misogynistic things 

Anonymous asked:

Who is gonna tell Darr/en he looks like M/ia's "best gay" in most of the pictures of them together where they are supposed to look in love? Especially the ones from last night lol

Just ya typical queer (I’m pan so imma say that). With his beardy.

Or hag. Whatever term ya wanna use.(X)

She HATED MIa...called her Amelia and wrote incredibly offensive-downright hateful-posts about Mia under the pseudonym The Ghost- who just happened to call her Amelia. Anons would ask Disneyprincess question for The Ghost and Disney would either answer them on The Ghosts behalf or claim she would relay the message/ask The Ghost. Yeah right. She even wrote fanfiction under that pseudonym. It was super bad -sentence structure, plot development, and character development were all grossly missing. It was basically BWP (bullying without plot). The stories are gone now- I have scoured the web looking for them.  I could kick myself for not saving some of them...if anyone has one, I'd love to see it.  The plot line of one was Mia ordering Darren around her office telling him she had complete control over him while he coward in front of her.  Darren meekly declared he would win in the end, but Mia just kept ordering him around. 

These are kinds of posts who would make about Hollywood -keep in mind there was nothing before this post that make it understandable- I'm not exaggerating when I say this was typical: 

Nomie party

You did????? When? Was I annoyingly perky or in professional mode??

That’s freaking awesome. We must have lunch.

Didn’t post the ask cause that was too many details on that party. 😂😂 already been in trouble thanks.

Glad I’m not the only one that thought he is an ass.

Anonymous asked: (X)

When did you see them out? Details

Can’t really say where I was as it included what I was doing and with whom. But it was here after the first of the year

I already posted this but it bears repeating- she, like Abby, won’t give away all their secrets aka they won’t give specifics (X)

Anonymous asked: 

there is evidence of Wll and aash kissing in the clubbbb?!!!!!!!

That I can’t tell you. I know I’ve never taken a picture cause why would I? but I mean folks do snap pictures when folks are out and folks get things in background photos that people prefer not be seen publicly.

However I will say if you do some digging, there are a lot more cuddled up w/a pictures out there. One just needs to have the time and be invested enough to look.

[mtvswatches]

Jane the Virgin 2x04 Chapter Twenty-Six

Spoilers disclaimer (please read before sending messages or writing comments.)

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) I love how this is considered bodacious at eleven…

And I loved Alba’s and Xiomara’s reactions…

2) I strangely relate to Lina. Being the single friend in a group means you’ll be ghosted. It’s just a fact of life.

3) Please, put ME out of my misery, I can’t take this any more…

4) New character, I guess…

5) And this is why Google Translate is completely forbidden in my classes…

6) “I think that we should talk about custody.” I mean, I agree with him? It is a sensible discussion, right? They don’t know where they’re standing, and regardless of how they’re getting along, they can’t be sure they’ll get along in 5 or 10 years, so it’s understandable he wants to make sure he’ll get to see his son no matter where he’s standing with his mom. Not that Jane would ever hold Mateo hostage. I think.

7) So, she didn’t take the picture for blackmailing purposes, it was just your regular evil motivation…

And I’m sorry if I’m being nitpicky, this was the camera shot, Petra was standing in the background so if she took the photo from where she was standing, Rafael should be on the left and Jane on the right. 

8) Heidi Von Whatever is a yodeler? Okay…

9) Oh, wow, what a beautiful way to be meta…

10) Yep, it was something embarrassing. Rogelio used to be a Scientologist… Again, kudos to the show for making fun of Scientology and calling it by its name instead of making up an equally ridiculous so-called religion and naming it something different, which is what most shows tend to do. Please, if Scientology has tried to boycott Jane the Virgin, let me know. I’d love to see what they said about the show.

11) So, “mutter” actually means mother. What were the Germans talking about then?

12)  Ugh, Moron is still alive. I don’t understand how or why. What’s the purpose of this character, other than being absolutely idiotic and detestable?

13) What was Rafael thinking, indeed? What made him think that he wouldn’t need Jane’s instructions?

14) “You’ve been poisoned and the only antidote is each other’s saliva.” Sounds like bad fanfiction…

15) Huh. Again, I’m siding with Michael…

MICHAEL: Well, crazy or not, she's still in love with you. And she still thinks she has a chance. So if there's not a chance, you need to tell her.

NARRATOR: Pretty sure he's not talking about Petra anymore.

16) Damn, Gina always slays the emotional scenes, doesn’t she?

Are you serious? Think about Mateo? That's the whole problem. He's all I think about. I mean, it's like he's taken over my brain. I can't even write a stupid paper on The Great Gatsby, which I read in the ninth grade. And I forgot my best friend's birthday, because I'm thinking about when he needs to eat and-and how to get him to sleep longer. You know, and it's not just my brain, it's physical, too I'm exhausted. I mean, my boobs literally hurt when I'm away from him. And I know that he has changed a lot in the last three weeks. But you know what? I have, too. Because now everything revolves around him. I mean, that's why I can't choose who I want to be with. Because I don't even recognize myself anymore.

17) Good.

And you do have rights to Mateo. So I think maybe we should get a lawyer, so we can take the emotion out of it.

18) Are they kidnapping Luciana’s bunnies? Xiomara and Rogelio are both the best and the worst influence on each other.

19) Lina, I mean, I get that you’re hurt, but your friend has just had a baby, cut her some slack. Mothers shouldn’t be held accountable for nothing during the first 5 to 8 years of having a child, just saying.

20) That’s what you get for underestimating your partner…

So, “Mutter” is a legendary Miami crime boss.

21) It was nice to see Petra and Rafael actually being honest to each other and to hear Rafael say all those nice things about her. I mean, he’d been with her for years, she couldn’t have been that horrible, right?

22) How long are the writers going to play this game of having Jane have a Moment with Michael or Rafael only to get interrupted by the other one so that she can get to have a Moment with him? It’s boring and tiresome and stupid and I can’t take it anymore!

23) #parenting

24) Less love triangle and more of this, please?

25) #WhatsOnDisc142PartC indeed!

26) I don’t know if I’m Team Michael yet, but…

At least I hope this means the triangle is over?

27) So, the new partner was hired only to find out what Michael is hiding…

28) She might be a moron, but she doesn’t waste any time…

29) But she’s still a Moron…

On the one hand, Rose locked her in a mental institution, killed her father and kidnapped her nephew. On the other hand…

30) Why is he back?

“I need to marry you. For tax purposes”

Of course.

31) Is it, though?

Oh, it was beyond romantic. It was the best kiss of my life, Ma. And suddenly, it was so clear. It's Michael.

I mean, I’m positive she felt the same way last season when she kissed Rafael for the first time, so can we really trust her judgment?

32) And Rafael heard it all…

More drama I’m not interested in, I guess.

33) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

[creideamhgradochas]

Thanks to the lovely @bitsandbobsandstuff for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about lovely Kris, go give her a follow and then show her some love!

These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?

Looking back, my first attempt at fanfic was probably when I was 11-years-old and I couldn’t wait for the next ‘Babysitters Club’ book to come out, so I wrote my own story. I think it featured Stacey McGill and horses. I really fucking wish I could find it… But honestly, I didn’t really understand the world of fanfiction until I joined Tumblr. So outside of those little forays when I was younger, I’d say it was last year when I realised it was a thing I could do and people might be interested, so let’s say my 30s.

2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

When it comes to fanfic, I prefer Reader inserts. They feel more inclusive and frankly, even as a writer it can be easier to imagine myself in the shoes of the reader character (so I can understand their thoughts and feelings and motivations), if I don’t have a specific name attached to them.

5) When is your preferred time to write?

Either first thing in the morning (coffee and morning air are excellent inspiration) or Saturday afternoons.

6) Where do you take your inspiration from?

Constant reading. I’m that nerd at the bus stop or waiting at the movie theatre or walking down the street with my nose in a book. I also try to draw on real life experiences/ situations when I can, it gives stories more texture.

7) In your Safe With Me fic, what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

I’m going to be cheeky and say it’s a tie – the dance scene in Chapter 8 and the trigger scene in Chapter 15. The realisations they both had within the few minutes of their dance together felt like such a great payoff for everything up until that point, and I loved imagining Bucky in that black suit (and I just love that song ‘Run to you’). The trigger scene was so much fun just to  resurface and/ or create all Bucky’s memories, especially the ones with the Soldier…they were like mini-stories of their own.

8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Nope. Everyone has a different vision and every story is unique for a reason.

9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why?

Clearly, I’m such a sucker for Bucky Barnes. 😊 His character has been through so many things over his lifetime, you can take him in a hundred directions and they can still feel true to source material (both MCU and comics). He can be a battle-weary soldier or a sassy little shit, and it all links back to some iteration of his personality at some point in his life – whether pre-WW2, Winter Soldier days, or now. I’d like to branch out and try others (or maybe other fandoms) at some point, but I’m content with him for now.

11) How did you come up with the title for the Safe With Me?

I knew I wanted the title to be a line of dialogue, because I like the symmetry of finding titles inserted in a story, and I knew I wanted it to be something ‘safety’ related, since that was the theme of the story. In Chapter 3, Bucky gives the reader a little speech at the end, telling her he’ll do anything he needs to protect her, and after re-working that a little, I came up with the ‘you’re safe with me’ line, and that became the title!

12) How did you come up with the idea for Safe With Me?

I wanted to try a series for a long time, but was always  so intimidated by the idea - I’m blown away by the writers on here who do so many series, the time it takes is nuts. For SWM, there were certain themes I personally wanted to find in a story - what it means to be safe, how sometimes evil people can live right next to you, the importance of mental health...all those concepts were used as foundations to the story and the colour was created around them. Sometimes things went in the direction I wanted, sometimes they took unexpected left turns as I was writing - I think you really have to be okay being led by your gut sometimes. Things like lemon drug or Tony’s tech or changing the purpose of the trigger words were random ideas that fell into place. My brain is a weird place to be sometimes.

14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

I’ve thought about doing something else with ‘Bless me father’ (still the strangest, weirdest, dirtiest story I’ve written) maybe a prequel or sequel, but still mulling over ideas.

16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

There are so many on Tumblr I love, but three in particular I would point out.

@a-splash-of-stucky: Elsa is a literal poet. The way she writes, the images she conjures and phrases she uses, are beyond gorgeous.

@justreadingfics: Ally can set up a scene like you wouldn’t believe. I am also in continual awe of someone who can write so beautifully when it’s not their first language.

@4luvofall: Cristina nails the dialogue every single time. Her characters are always a little sassy and a little funny, and I want to go drinking with them (and her). Outside of Tumblr, my favourite book is A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and I would be happy to read Harry Potter every day for the rest of my life.

17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

No stories, although sometimes I’ll read old dialogue or descriptions and roll my eyes a little! I think it’s important to read your old stuff and recognise how far you’ve come or how your style has changed.

18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

I have a writing playlist that is mostly Sigur Ros and Sleeping at Last, with a heavy dose of movie soundtracks like Lord of the Rings. But sometimes, I put headphones in and just listen to silence.

19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

I’ve gotten a little emotional at points, but never full on cried. I have sobbed like a baby while reading though, good lord.

20) Which part of your Safe With Me fic was the hardest to write?

I think the club scene in Chapter 12 was the hardest. The idea was to use the scenery and secondary characters and music to build the tension through the course of the night, until everything collapsed. Finding the right flow and making sure it didn’t feel too rushed was really hard, it took me a long time to work through.

21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

I tend to make an outline. For one-shots, it’s never long – just listing out the key points and scenes I want to hit. For SWM it was long – the outline was more than 15,000 words. Admittedly, I’m somewhat Type A, so I need structure to function. 😊

23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

Probably my first Stucky story, ‘The language of a kiss’. I was hesitant to post it – it wasn’t long after I read ‘Not easily conquered’ which was one of the most mind-blowing literary experiences of my life. I love the story and have gotten lovely comments on it, but I think AO3 tends to be a better place for Stucky stories, Tumblr leans more toward Reader insert.

25) Are any of your characters based on real people?

Yes! The reader for ‘Safe with me’ was based heavily on yours truly! Most of her dialogue came very easy because it’s how I speak in real life (full of F-bombs and insults that rarely make sense). Some of Bucky’s dialogue and sass was based on my husband, the way those two bickered in the story was pretty close to real life.

26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

Some of the compliments I’ve received for ‘Safe with me’ have been genuinely unbelievable. Several people have said the story inspired them to write again, which I’m so excited to hear. The biggest compliment though, was probably someone telling me the story helped ease them through a depressive episode in their life. That hit particularly close to home and I can’t express how happy I was to hear that.

29) Do people know you write fan-fiction?

My husband and a few close friends. The first time I told my best friend, who is not remotely into fandom, I gave her ‘Safe with me’ at chapter 12 and she read the entire thing overnight and by 8a the next morning I was getting texts saying “are you awake and if so are you writing because you can’t do this to me.” Hearing someone with no interest in Marvel say that was pretty fun.

30) What’s you favorite minor character you’ve written?

Definitely Riz in ‘Safe with me’. I picture him hanging out in his little kiosk in downtown Manhattan, playing Candy Crush and watching the world go by. He has to have some great stories.

31) What spurs you on during the writing process?

Deadlines! I work so much better under pressure. If I ever had to write a thesis, I would wait until two days before it’s due.

33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

I think it was the ‘Worth Fighting For’ series by @serzhantkris. The plot was based on Mulan, and followed the reader who took her brother’s place in the army during WW2 - she went though basic and got deployed and captured as part of the 107th. She was a feisty and amazing character, and I’m always a sucker for 1940s Bucky. The story is broken out across the three Captain America movies and it is seriously breathtaking – sweet, cheeky, full of action, and completely heartbreaking.

34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

I think I’m going with angst. I like being able to dig into something and maybe cause a little pain in the process. 😉

[dowagerintraining]

Fanfiction: QE does Hogwarts

I hope, I pray, that if this does come across their attention, that none of the QE Fab Five will take offence to being immortalised in my little fanfic for Harry Potter. Guys, if you do object, by all means get in touch and say so. But it really was just for the lols and written with love. 

I can’t put this on ffnet, because one of their rules about stories is not to use any ‘real’ people in your stories. So I am going to post it on tumblr instead. I hope people enjoy it. 

If you don’t, you know where the door is. 

--

The Fab Five from QE are brought to London for an extra special UK episode. They are used to having weeks where they change lives. They’re in for a week which will change theirs too. A headmaster has nominated his old friend and long time colleague for a makeover. There’s just a few problems. 1) He teaches at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and 2) he’s currently in 1995... 

“Oh my God oh my god oh my god, this place is just soooo amazing! I mean it’s so old, really old, and you know I never use looking old as a complement but this city is just owning the looking old thing…”

Karamo smiles to himself as Jonathan goes into autowitter in the background. Tan drives ahead, focusing on the road, the only member of the Fab Five permitted to drive in London traffic, as he learned to drive on what the rest of them refer to as the ‘wrong side of the road’.

He has to admit though, London sure is pretty. There are streets here which are older than anything he’s ever seen in the southern states of America. It’s like driving around a movie set, you half expect people in frock coats to come around the corner at any moment in horses and carriages.

“So who are we doing for this ultra special UK makeover?”

The cheering ripples throughout the car as Karamo pulls out the folder. This application arrived in style, written in green ink on old parchment, with an immaculate hand drawn pencil sketch of the person who had been nominated.

“OK, so, our next guest is a Professor.”

The cheers from the back of the car intensify.

“A Professor? What, like at Oxford or something?”

“No, no, not at University, he’s a school teacher. But I don’t have the name of the school here, so I can’t see what subject. He’s been in the position for more than twenty years, and has been nominated by his boss.”

“So what’s the dude’s name?”

“Professor Filius Flitwick.”

There’s a moment of silence. None of them have ever heard a name like it before.

“Ok…” Jonathan tilts his head to one side like an inquisitive bird, turning to share a glance with Bobby, who pulls a confused grimace with high eyebrows. “So … Phil, then…”

“I guess we can go with Phil, we’ll ask when we meet him.”

“So who’s his Boss?”

“Professor Dumbledore. Albus Dumbledore.”

“Oh my Gaaaad,” Bobby rubs his forehead, “You just have to love how the British do their names.” 

“Well, apparently Filius, or Phil, is turning sixty five this year, he’s been working at the school for over twenty years, and he’s an amazing teacher, the students love him and he’s been very successful. It says here is a boarding school, so the school is pretty much Phil’s life’s work. He adores his job, but Albus is aware that he has had no time to spend on himself, and his appearance makes him look a lot older than he actually is.”

“Ahhhh, poor baby. We all know teachers work too hard,”  Antoni is full of sympathy.

“Have we got a photograph, Karamo.”

“We’ve got a sketch…” Karamo hands back the immaculate pencil drawing.

“Oh wow…”

“Um…”

“Yeah…”

Tan’s interest is piqued. He’s never heard the three in the back seat reduced to silence so swiftly. Spotting a parking space to the side of the road, he indicates and pulls in.

“Alright, this I have to see … hand it over…”

Like the others, he is stunned into silence. Firstly because the picture is a masterpiece. He’d almost swear it was alive, it could nearly live and breathe. But secondly, Filius doesn’t look sixty five. He looks closer to one hundred and sixty five. His face is obscured behind an enormous and wizened old beard. His mustache had grown out and merged with the beard, and his face, which was framed by hair which had to be snowy white, was so lined and wrinkled that he looked ancient. A pair of old fashioned half moon spectacles were perched on the edge of his nose. He was dressed in what looked to Tan liked a dressing gown, the sheen of which appeared to be worn velvet, the sort usually seen on the curtains in old school halls. Perched on his head was a bent pointy hat, which seemed to be the same material as his clothing.

“I … “ Tan passed a hand over his face. “I can’t tell, because it’s a drawing obviously, but … does this guy look a little, short? To any of you?”

“I was thinking that,” Bobby said seriously. “It might just be the drawing, but … he looks like he might be a dwarf. Like, he might be an actual dwarf. Like, what’s that actor? The famous one in Game Of Thrones…”

“Peter Dinklage!”

“Yes! That’s it exactly, like him.”

“So … we need to tread carefully here then.”

“But are we not going to talk about the rest?” Jonathan’s voice is shrill with confusion and something approaching outrage. “How on earth does this guy look so old? I mean, sixty is not old. Not these days. Not when you look at someone as dreamy as George Clooney.”

“Well,” Karamo struggles to be fair, “It’s like Antoni said. Teachers work hard, and if he’s teaching at a boarding school, he might not have time to take care of himself.”

“Where is the school, anyway?”

“It doesn’t say, but the headmaster, Albus, is going to meet us in London. Perhaps he lives here during the holidays.”

“Where are we meeting him?”

“The directions are a little confused, but he says to come to King’s Cross Station, and he’ll meet us between platform 8 and 9.”

“Ok, Karamo, are we sure this isn’t production playing a prank on us? We’re not going to end up being mocked on some late night show are we?”

“No, I talked to them, they absolutely swear it’s a real gig, but they are as confused as us. But you know, they’re always looking to include a more diverse range of guests on the show, and the money finally got sorted for us to do a UK special…”

Tan starts up the car and indicates, pulling out into traffic once more. “OK, well, we’re not far from King’s Cross, so we’ll stick the car in short term parking and go pick up Albus.”

“What do you think is with those clothes Tan?”

“Well, maybe it was a dress up day at school or something, the guy looks like some kind of wizard.”

The guys all chuckle, as Antoni and Bobby start exchanging stories about their favourite high school teachers, and the ones who definitely needed to have some kind of makeover. Karamo smiles to himself and listens without a quarter of his brain, as he scans through the flimsy file. There’s not a lot to go on, but maybe Albus can shed some more light on the matter. He’s heard that the British are a lot more reserved, so maybe the guy is just shy, and Albus doesn’t want to hand over too much incriminating evidence to embarrass his friend. That does happen from time to time, and it’s often lead to some of the most fun experiences they’ve had, helping people to blossom and come out of their shells.

“OK, everyone, we’re here!”

Parked up and car secured, the five friends head over to King’s Cross station. Jonathan skips, having overcome his jet lag considerably more quickly than most of the others. He causes a slight stir as the staid and conventional British commuters turn to see which tourist is causing all the commotion.

He doesn’t have the attention to himself for long however. There’s a far more eccentric personality standing on platform 8 who is drawing open mouthed stares from everyone around him.

“Oh my good lordy lord, who on earth is that?”

“Karamo, is that…”

“Do you think…”

“Oh my God…”

“Excuse me, are you … Mr Dumbledore?”

The man is tall, with long flowing clothes which could only be described as robes, of rich scarlet, which hang down to his ankles. His hair is silver white, reading down below his belt, and a tall pointed purple hat is perched on his head, similar to the one Filius was wearing in his portrait, only without the bend in the middle. Tan finds himself remembering snatches of a poem about an old woman, wearing purple, with a red hat, which doesn’t go, but all of those recollections flee from his mind when Albus turns to greet them.

His beard, as impressive as his hair, hangs down past his waist, and is tucked neatly into his belt. His eyes are so blue, they stand out from his face like chips of best bone china, and his smile dominates his face, which is impressive considering the impact of all the white hair. He stands with his arms wide open.

“My friends! My dear good friends, thank you for coming all this way to help an old man sort out his dear friend. I am indeed Albus Dumbledore.”

His voice is sonorous. Tan is reminded of a school trip to Stratford Upon Avon, to watch the RSC perform a Shakespeare play. He thought that only classically trained stage actors could ever speak so perfectly and so correctly.  He looks across at Jonathan, who he suspects has fallen head over heels in love at first sight with this imposing, impressive man who is absolutely in command of himself and comfortable in his delightful eccentric self.

Karamo, the first to recover, extends a hand for a hearty shake and begins the round of introductions. His experience of being the big, black, southern queer has given him a deep respect for those who stand out and proud in their difference, and an ability to take anyone at face value regardless of how the present themselves to the world.

“I cannot tell you what it means to me that you have all come so far, but I am afraid our journey is not over yet. We have a long way to go and in more ways than one.”

“So why are we meeting at Kings Cross, Albus? Is Filius here?”

“Oh, no no no, my good chap, he’s not here. We shall have to take a journey to go and see him. He’s up at the school, deep in preparation for the next year. The staff return a week before the students, to set everything to rights before everyone arrives.”

“Great, so where is the school?”

“I’m afraid I cannot tell you. But I can take you there.”

“Wait, what did you … I mean...?”

“Do not be perplexed Bobby. All will become clear. In the mean time, you will all need one of these.”

Albus is handing out tickets. But they don’t look anything like the train tickets that Tan remembers from when he lived in London. These aren’t small, orange and white striped cards. They are large, golden in colour, with immaculate copperplate writing. The destination is listed as ‘Hogsmeade’, and the platform is emblazoned across the front as ‘Platform 9 ¾ ‘

“Albus is this some kind of joke?”

“A Joke? Not at all Antoni. But I confess it will be a little confusing and will require some explanations as we go. But for now, we have a long journey to make. Could you all come with me please…

Albus leads them over to a wall between the platforms 8 and 9. He puts an arm around Jonathan, who is clearly delighted.

“Are you ready to go on an adventure dear boy?”

“With you Albus? Anywhere…!”

“Good, good, That’s good. Best do it at a bit of a run if you’re scared.”

“Do what at a bit of a run?”

“This…”

Albus suddenly, forcefully takes Jonathan by the shoulders, turns him to face the wall, and shoves him towards the wall, hard and fast.

The others move to call out, remonstrate. Karamo has a vision flash before his eyes of Jonathan lying bleeding on the floor before them. Except he isn’t. In fact, he’s nowhere to be seen.

“What… what did you … where did he go?”

“He’s on the platform. Waiting for us.”

“On the platform. Beyond the wall.”

Karamo blinks, turns to the others, who can’t explain the very simple thing they just saw happen before their own eyes.

“Beyond the wall?” says Bobby.

Albus smiles. “Yes. Beyond the wall.”

Bobby suddenly turns. Looks at the wall. Before Antoni can reach out and stop him, he runs full tilt at the wall.

And suddenly, he vanishes. Nobody can quite explain how it happens. But now Bobby is gone too.

“Albus… is that wall real?”

“Absolutely read, my dear Tan.”

“Then how did?”

“Let me ask you this … do you believe that your friends are standing on the otherside?”

“... Yes.”

“Then you are half way to believing yourself. And therefore, half way there.”

Tan turns to Antoni and holds out a hand. He turns to Karamo, repeating the gesture.

“Yes yes, that’s good. Now. After three.”

The three men all link hands.

“All together now. One, two … three!”

Feeling like school children in a playground, all three of them, alongside Albus run full tilt at the wall …

*

Bobby just has time to pull Jonathan out of the way from his skipping and cavorting routine as Karamo, Tan and Antoni crash through the wall behind them.

“Oh my God, Oh my God… guys! GUYS! You have to see this…”

Suddenly Karamo finds himself being dragged bodily around a corner. A strange sound fills his ears, a puffing, almost like a wind blowing, before a shrieking whistle fills the air. Standing before him is a scarlet steam train, the sort that used to appear in the old wild west films, apart from its startling colour. In large golden lettering, the words ‘Hogwarts Express’ are boldly embossed across the front.

“Well gentlemen,” Albus strides ahead, throwing a gleaming smile over his shoulder as he checks and snaps shut an impressive golden pocket watch. “That’s our warning. The train is about to leave. We must make sure we are all aboard…”

[ohlookitsthearkhamknight]

Okay so to continue this imma add some more headcannons cause my brain

They both love to go on long jogs wherever they are. Its extremely common to be walking down a trail and see two goofballs laughing and running

Owen steals toms clothes. Tom will purposely leave clothes around cause he loves seeing owen in his stuff

Owen is absolutely the type of guy to act more himself and let himself loose around people he likes

Owen wears shirts and sweaters like this because who said sweaters were supposed to be worn correctly.

Tom loves owens fashion sense even if its one of the most hilarious things he has ever seen

Tom will watch owens movies on repeat (he totally doesnt rewatch the shanghai series on repeat haha why would he do that)

Owen started to get more into shakespeare if only to see tom get excited when he mentions it

Tom started to learn more depression and other illnesses so that he could help owen when he needed him

Owen had tom and ben stiller meet but owen soon realized ben was a little jealous and now ben jokes about fighting tom for owens love. Owen knows tom would win but it still worried him (though all is fine as ben and tom talk about owen alot and joke around)

If toms not careful owen will leave the house with 2 dogs and return with 5

Owens kids love tom and tom loves them. Tom views them as the kids he never had and regularly takes them to do stuff.

Their favorite activity to do is pulling pranks on owen (cause who doesnt)

If you insult either tom or owen be prepared to have your face kicked in by a couple of kids

Its a regular thing to hear “my dad is lightning mcqueen and my other dad is loki so your wrong” even if owen has said thats not a good argument none of his kids listen.

Tom is a farmers market type of guy and will only buy the majority groceries from there. Owen complains but secretly he loves that tom cares so much

Movie nights just turn into cuddle nights as when owen gets sleepy snd a lil drunk he cant keep his hands to himself

Even if they happen to be on opposite sides of the world they always make sure somehow they see each at least once in while

Owen and Tom regularly jump on thr internet and watch what goes down. They rnjoy watching and seeing all the fanart and even fanfiction

Owen DOES NOT have a ao3 acct AND DOES NOT read tom hiddleston fanfics

Owen and Tom loves horses and will regularly ride around for fun

Tom invited owen to england to see hsi family and toms family immediately fell in love with owen and soon enough owen was learning family recipes and looking st baby pictures. Which relieved tom because even if he knew his family would love him that little bit of worry ate away at him

When owen took tom to dallas tom was surprised at how it cool texas was. Usually it was only for a day or two he stayed but going home with owen showed him what it was really like and he feel in love with the culture (and food)

Luke and Andrew constantly teased owen about bringing a boy home but they did not expect him to bring tom fing hiddleston home. Even if they teased him they are extremely happy owen found someone that has him smiling snd laughing 24/7

Owen gets extremely cold at night so he sleeps with way more blankets than a normal human being should. Tom doesnt mind he just wants owen to be confortable

When they do interviews tom trys to be there as much as he can as he knows how much they scare owen. When they were being interviewed for loki it was the most comfortable owen had felt in years. He knew tom had his back.

Tom always wondered why owen wore long sleeves and when he found out he made sure to always keep owen stocked on long sleeves shirts with some warmers and other lighter for the summer.

Owen is the best pillow in the world snd tom could sleep on him all day even if they sre on the cold hard floor

Owen doesnt like fireworks or loud sounds so tom always makes sure to go somewhere where there isnt loud sounds especially on the 4th

Tom sees owen more than a funny actor and knows that he can pull off even the most serious roles

Owen thinks tom is stupid at times for believing in him a little too much but tom stands by his stance that everyone is amazing and deserves love if they think they dont. Its really helped owen to forgive himself snd live himself.

Okay thats it if anyone has anymore add on ig

THIS IS ALL FAKE AND ONLY HEADCANNONS DO NOT BELIEVE ANY OF THIS IS TRUE THIS IS ONLY WHAT ME AND OTHERS OBSERVE AND THINK FOR FUN

THIS IS ALL FAKE

Anyways add more if ya want.

Widdlewow Headcannons:

Owen is very chill until Tom starts praising him non-stop, then he becomes a blushing mess, stutters and laughs, avoiding eye contact.

Tom loves to compliment him, even in the most mundane things. He knows Owen doesn't believe all the compliments, since he doesn't have a great self-esteem, but Tom is still constantly telling him how talented he is. Like when Owen quoted Shakespeare, he's proud of him and wants everyone to see what is Owen capable of. Tom hates it when people underestimate him.

Owen loves it when Tom compliments him. He's always trying to get that pleased smile Tom shows whenever Owen says or does something that he likes.

Tom is always the one that takes the first step. He's always touching Owen in some way: bumping shoulders, resting his hand on his back, saying hi and goodbye with hugs and discreet kisses...

Owen loves listening to Tom's voice. Sometimes, he isn't even paying attention to what Tom is saying, he's just listening to his voice, his accent and his voice timbre. Tom notices when Owen's paying attention or not, but he doesn't brings it up. Owen seems to be at ease, and Tom loves that relaxed expression in his face. Tom used this as an excuse to go and knock his door in the night to continue with his “Loki lecture”, since Owen didn't pay attention that day. The both of them knew that was an excuse, but neither of them said a thing.

The both of them are constantly looking for moments to be alone together. The individual Loki lectures, the running, the missing notebook = excuses to meet again and spend time together without anyone else.

They love being open with each other. Owen knows that Tom won't judge him, and Tom knows that he can trust Owen. Communication is extremely important for them, and they never let a day pass without talking about something for at least an hour, even in the middle of the night. They always listen to the other without interrupting.

They drink Respecting Each Other juice every morning.

The both of them are snuggly af.

I obviously know this is fiction, don't come after me, I'm just using my imagination. I absolutely respect the actors, DNI if you're gonna insult or whatever. Thank you 💛

[ilovedhim-whydidyouhadtokillhim]

I did this... It's an embarrasing number5xreader

Title: That's bullshit in any Language.

(I don't mean to be rude. It's a line Five says to the handler. Ill put un this post part 1 and 2.)

So. This is Five living his life with the Sparrow Academy, and you are an editor that wants to publish his story. It's a few years After you came back to 2019... And it might have some of my ideas on time travel and the comission. Nothing canon or comic canon because i haven't had time to read it yet. Sorry for the grammar.

Chapter 1:

There are plenty of your reasons that I don't understand. Why did you come back? Was it really because of your family or was saving the world that matters? Did you came back just to help them? or because you love them?.-

Those words hit the brain of your interlocutor like a gold lingot adorned with a lemon peel. Effect only achieved by the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, which was very far from this part of the universe.

-What do you mean by that?-. He replied annoyed, you were sitting next to a window, in front of you there was a young adult. You were wearing a white blouse and ankle-length skirt. -Well, if you have powers that go beyond reason, and you are capable of leasing with the physical laws that bind everyone else, shouldn't you understand that these are simply events that had to happen in a certain order so that your brothers and everyone else should simply disappear? .-

-What?- He said sissing, with a very pissed off look. You had spent the afternoon listening to his fantastic story. As an assistant to the chef editor at a science fiction publishing house, you thought the young man was trying to sell you his story. Mostly because of the effort he made to make it seem real, he probably wanted to give it a transmedia approach. You thought that perhaps it could work, uploading an internet page, a video game for smartphones and several Facebook pages would sell well too, you saw the future and it was probably easily adapted to the cinema or to a series, you even thought about the fanfiction. If you hadn't detected so many narrative problems… Which on the other hand gave realism to these misfits.

The expression on Five, the pseudonym under which he introduced himself, made it clear that he couldn't believe what he was hearing. But that's how new artists are, they live in their stories, their delirium. And it's understandable. You began talking again. -What Mr. Reginald told Diego, seems to me, it's true for everyone. But at least he's honest about it. In all their actions, these guys are all marked by their father, it’s really their main drive to act.-

You felt a slight guilt, someone so fanatical about their own creation had to put a lot of himself into it, so probably Diego, Klaus, Vanya and all of the others were just a human personification of a hurt part of his adolescence. -Excuse me for telling you this but even with fifty-something years you went to your father for advice. A man who was not older than you in his timeline. Even in the middle of all that conspiracy. You chose to believe in him. -

The young man seemed somewhat nervous, he was sweating a bit and his eyebrows were narrowing in a strange way. -Are you from the association?- he said sweating - Is this a new kind of psychological attack?-. These clarifications gave you a bad feeling, but you decided to joke: -Do you see me with a briefcase?-. It didn't seem to work as you liked. His face showed a terrible aversion and you felt fear. You took your things and left enough money to pay for your coffees, on the table.

-I think it is an excellent work of fiction, Mr. Five. But I think you should solve your problems and calm down a bit before you want to publish it. I don't know what had happened to you to come up with all this but it seems to me that with a good medication and a correct edition you could go far. You are still young and you could even have a great future as an author. But I can't work with someone in your current state.- You took your card out of the bag and gave it to him somewhat shakily. His face changed from rage to disbelief and you left a bit angry and scared.

He scrutinized the white card, it was made with a fancy paper. It had “Dark Horse Books" printed in black. -In my dimension these are "comics" instead of books - he smiled. He hit his head on the table "> your last name <,> your first name <",> phone number <,> office address <.

He realizedrealizado were just a smart girl. -She's probably right. Maybe in all this time I have just lived as a scared child under the table of a man who is not even my father, but the one from Sparrow Academy. After all, even the idiot Luther decided to make his life of his own in this world ...-.

Five called Diego. -Hello brother, another Apocalypse? - Five heard a tone that wanted to be playful but actually sounded concerned. -None, I just want to chat. Are you available for dinner? .-. Five had started college not long ago. Mr. Hargreeves had gotten the adoption papers of Five just as he would have been one of the boys he previously adopted. So everyone was amazed when that young man who looked about 20 "was actually 34".

When you were at home doing office work, you were surprised to know that your appointment for that day had been canceled and that you had stayed all afternoon listening to a poor schizophrenic or drug addict speak.

Chapter 2:

The uneasiness of the meeting with the boy passed and a few weeks later you had time in your schedule for a new interview with the young man who was supposed to arrive on that occasion. You have had coffee and the middle-aged man left.

Nothing out of the ordinary. More stories about zombies and society, it would be edited because it was an acquaintance of the manager. You were beginning to rethink working with that strange young man and his story. You remembered that sometime in your teens you heard about some babies that were born a without their mothers having been pregnant. And a kind of low-profile superhero league that most people took as a hoax to divert attention from things like Watergate, the White House affair among other things.

Probably if the boy was right you were looking at an excellent informant. And it could be an amazingly revealing book ... Especially with all the mythology surrounding JFK. You turned to the window and the young man was watching you from the other block. That again, gave you the chills. You saw him cross the street. It was fortunate that your cup did not have more than the sip you took or you would have spilled it all over yourself.

The young man sat in front of you, the husband of the owner of the cafeteria asked the young man what he wanted. The boy looked stunned. "HAZEL?" The man looked at him for a moment, because that was his ñame but the man was no acquaintance of him. "Excuse me young man, I don't remember meeting you." The boy laughed. -Don't worry, you reminded me of a friend, but it can't be you. It's good to see you anyways.- The man served their coffee somewhat puzzled and walked to talk to his wife, the woman turned her head the table and denied knowing him. Ultimately, neither of them knew who the young man was. This definitely raised several questions but you didn't know which ones. Mostly mportant, what would the young man talk about now?.

You were silent for a while. Five had his hands in his pockets. And you kept looking at the street. You saw how the steam from the coffee made waves above the cup. Again you wear a shirt and skirt. This time a white one with polka dots. Nothing that you could know of but the boy had been a bundle of confusion the last few days. He was not very enthusiast about human company, but he decided to separate from all his previous life experiences and for this he began studying economics. So meeting you at that moment in those clothes made him really dubious about why he was talking to you. Was he really addicted to the apocalypse as you and Diego said?.

Tired of the silence, you asked him a question that seemed uncomfortable for both of you. -The previous time, you only told me your nickname, Mr. Hmmm.- The man looked at you with surprise and smiled at you. -Francis... Reginald, Hargreeves.- you raised your eyebrows. Behind all that delirium, the young man did not look like a Reginald, although on a second thought he dressed like an upper-class young man. He was probably one of those rich young men whose excessive education, gets them a little upset with the world before they should be done with it. -You can call me Frank ... or Five. My siblings, they usually call me Five. So as not to be confused with my father. - The young man seemed somewhat annoyed.

-Oh, it's okay Frank. -, -What do you think of the proposal? . Despite the trust that the young man had placed in you, there was something that prevented you from treating him as a young man of his age. He obviously was not over 23. You didn't know if it was his story, where he is over 60 years old, if it was perhaps his possible mental illness or the aura of presumption that accompanied him.

-Ohhh. I discussed some of that with some of my siblings. They do not agree.- You imagined him sitting at an empty table like the last supper. Except he was just talking to himself. -I see you still don't believe me.-, the young man took out his phone and showed you a picture of him with his family. You could see a huge man, a condecorated policeman, a renowned violinist, an underground model who had worked for several covers with your publishing house, an actress who had just won an Oscar and the little brother. Now that you saw him next to all his family, his story was starting to make a little more sense. Besides, they were all obviously different. Now you thought that the young man could not be more than 21 ... And that it must be difficult to be good by the side of those successful siblings.

The young man seemed to guess your thoughts or maybe it was the pious look you gave him. -Whatever you are thinking, is not the case. I just study for fun. I actually work in a government agency. And believe it or not, for a couple of years I have been in therapy for the post traumatic stress that living so many years alone caused me. Stranded at the end of the world Dolores!-. The young man clapped his mouth quickly, that seemed to hurt. He turned completely red. You didn't know if it was because of the hit or if he had said something embarrassing. While he was telling you his story, his subconscious was quite careful to hide all the details from you about his wife, named Dolores.

And that was. Curiously, the point that he had discussed earlier days with his psychologist, apparently he had not understood (or had not wanted to understand) that the talk he had with you reminded him of his Wife. Only this time, it was really a person outside of himself who answered him with such sharpness and intelligence. And he wasn't going to accept it.

Not knowing all that internal debate, you took another sip of the coffee. "My name is in case you are interested." You said upset. He lowered his hands from his face, it was completely red. -Yes, I know , I just remembered someone while talking to you. - There was no going back after that statement. "Thank you for taking an interest in my story and for listening to a complete stranger say nonsensical things." He now seemed like a completely different person. This boy's range of emotions is a carnival.

-Don't worry, it's part of my job. To tell the truth, I confused you with a young writer and I was quite tough because he is a recommended person to whom we must publish.-. You smiled at him. Apparently the young man liked your comment. -Wow, I must be flattered then.-, -Pretty much actually. We are a very famous publisher present all over the world.-, -And timelines ... it's a joke.-. The young man said when he saw your expression. -For such and such a reason. I look very young. But I think there is something that is not clear to you ... I am also 34. I am not really a young person.- Five had decided to start living according to the age of his brothers. Since he had that opportunity.

You had a pleasant talk, and exchanged phones with the young man. Since the one he had was your work phone number. Probably something good had come out of this confusion. It had gotten quite late, and you had to be on the other side of the city. To finish a part of the work you needed to get up early the next day, a taxi would cost you a lot. The young man saw your concern. -I can take you home, if you want,-. He said with a mischievous smile. You didn't know what he was planning. But you accepted, and walked with him to a parking lot, while you were walking, he asked your address and places near your house, -Oh! I understand, near <>> and that <<< >>>, of course I do know what building you are talking about.- He said while rubbing his chin and doing some imaginary calculations in the air. Being quite far from people, he asked you to take him tightly by the arm. You took it and suddenly you felt something pull you back. You closed your eyes. Next, you were in front of your building.

"What had just happened?" You saw him up, he was a little taller than you and he had a mocking laugh. -I'm sorry that teleportation is not a gift that everyone has. But at least you already tried, right? -. You felt how your intestines took their place again and you got a bit nauseous. You ran to some nearby bushes but you were lucky that you weren't as sick as you thought. You wiped yourself with your sleeve. And you thanked him a bit puzzled. You saw him inquisitively. You had so many questions, but none seemed prudent to be the first. He laughed. He actually seemed like he was quite nice and smart when he wasn't an arrogant know-it-all. If all the things he said to you were true, then he probably did know a lot more than your average citizen.

He accompanied you to your door, said goodbye to you with a kiss on the cheek. He disappeared in front of you with a beam of blue light. Now you had an existential crisis knowing that the world had already ended twice in a past and a future that were actually the past of the present that you lived. And that was nothing at all digestible. After seven years working without missing a single day due to illness, you decided to take a week of unforeseen rest.

I had this posted here too: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26520721/chapters/64640455#workskin

[everythingjonsa]

Jonsa Fanfiction

Okay so I randomly made up a story for an ask that I answered today and I thought maybe I should better it an turn it into a proper fic. This is my first venture into fanfiction and I am a very impatient writer LOL!! So do tell me if you like it and how I should improve it. I said I’d never write fanfiction, but don’t they say Never say Never... LOL. Thank you @kitten1618x for thinking I should write fanfic. And @accuritefish for encouraging me to turn this into a fic. Love you all!!

SNOWED UNDER BY LOVE

 CHAPTER 1

 JON SNOW got out of his black and white Maserati, parked at a safe distance from the Book store he planned to pay a visit to. It was late August and the sun shone brightly in his eyes causing him to squint a little. He undid the button of his black silk shirt that he wore under his Grey Suit as he tried to read the name of the book store from a distance. Damn, he’d forgotten his glasses. After a lot of squinting he finally read the words painted in silver…

THE LITTLE CITADEL

Jon smiled slowly thinking how much Sam would’ve appreciated the name. He then braced himself for doing something he partially hated doing, but he knew it had to be done. One of the Hospitality companies he owned had bought all the three blocks adjacent to this shop for his new Hotel project and he needed to buy this store because it was facing the main road and was built on a prime location. The book store owner had turned away three of his employees politely and Dolorous EDD, his friend and the vice-president of his company informed him that apparently they all came back telling how it was such a bad decision to buy out her store. This lady had never lost her cool even once while talking to his employees and had them wrapped around her little finger in a matter of an hour; three of his BEST employees. Jon then suddenly remembered that he knew nothing about the lady who owned the store and had requested EDD to send him her file. He took out his phone, irritation creeping into him at this lacuna in knowledge. He always liked to do his homework before meeting his nemesis. And if this woman was half as good as Edd had heard she is, he was going to have to use all the tricks in his playbook to get her to agree to sell.

“EDD, you’ve not yet sent me this bookstore lady’s name and details..” Jon barked into his mobile phone irritably as soon as EDD came online “How am I supposed to convince the lady to sell her store to me, if I don’t even know her name?” 

EDD mumbled something about messaging him the details in just a while and Jon cut the phone with a huff as he entered the store. The store was bigger than he’d expected it to be. They walls were painted grey but everything else, especially the book shelves were all as white as snow. At the back end of the bookstore a beautiful weirwood tree with its fiery red leaves was painted artistically on the wall and suddenly Jon had to literally hold himself back from rushing to the tree and tracing it’s branches with his fingers. This Lady was definitely a northerner, Jon made a mental note. Could he exploit that connection? There was no one in Kings Landing who could know or appreciate the beauty of the weirwood tree like he could. Surely the lady and he had one thing in common, at least. As Jon slowly looked around, he realized that the book shop was so tastefully decorated that he almost felt bad that he was going to have to arm twist the owner into selling the shop to him. But he knew it had to be done. He was going to have to offer this woman a deal she couldn’t refuse.

Jon straightened the jacket of his steel gray suit and ran his hand over his curls which were tightly secured in a man bun of sorts. Jon decided to pretend to look through the collection of books. He had to buy some time till his office sent him all the details. He passed rows and rows of books stacked neatly in the snow white shelves. The children’s books section was the only one which had rainbow coloured shelves and a small play area where children could read and play. He imagined that a lot of book readings and story-telling sessions must happen in this very area. He paused when he saw the Harry Potter series and a sense of nostalgia washed over him. He picked up the first book in the series, Harry Potter and the philosopher’s stone and many memories that were kept hidden on purpose, threatened to come back to him. What a positive impact this series had had on him when he was growing up! He felt so connected to the characters especially because there were so many similarities between his life and Harry’s.

His mother Lyanna Snow had been a single parent and Jon had never known who his father was. When he was 11, he was called a bastard by someone in his class and somehow the name stuck. No one befriended him. He had been alone and an outcast until the Starks had moved back to Winter-fell from Castle Black. Robb Stark strode into school like a rock star and with his good nature and drop dead gorgeous looks had become the most popular boy in school overnight. When Ramsey Bolton had called Jon a bastard in front of Robb, he got punched so hard in the face by Robb, that no one had ever dared to call Jon a bastard for the rest of his schooling days. For Robb stark had become his Ron and the Starks had become his Weasleys. Jon used to practically live in Robb’s room. Ned Stark and his mother had been classmates and had gone to Winterfell high together. So Robb’s dad and his mom doted on Jon. Arya had idolised him. She had mimicked everything Jon did which would amuse him greatly. Bran was too mature for his age, but Jon had loved him dearly and Rickon was everyone’s baby. Only Sansa had remained elusive and withdrawn from him. Jon squeezed his eyes shut to will these memories away.

“Why do you like Harry Potter?”

Jon was so taken aback by the sudden delicate voice that seemed to come out of nowhere that he almost dropped the book he was holding. A little girl of probably four or five was staring up at him with icy blue eyes from a little pink chair that she was sitting on. Jon cleared his throat and looked around to see if the parent of the child was around but it looked like the girl was sitting there all by herself. He was already slightly impatient with the amount of time EDD was taking to get back with the information. It was so unlike EDD. In the meanwhile he thought talking to this sweet child may just be what he needed. So Jon grabbed a bean bag that was lying nearby and dragged it near her chair to sit down next to her.

“I like Harry Potter, because it’s the story of an ordinary boy doing extraordinary things!” Jon replied almost extremely tempted to ruffle the girl’s curly mop of black hair which looked so much like his when he was a child.

“What is extraordinary?” The girl asked him with a slight pout that reminded him so much of a girl he once knew. Sansa Stark…..

“Well the dictionary meaning of ….” Jon started to say but caught himself when he realised to whom he was trying to explain this to. He smiled slightly at his own folly as he saw the little angel’s pout change into a brood, which looked pretty much like his own childhood broody pictures. He remembered Catelyn Stark’s words. “You brood too much, Jon Snow” So he crossed his arms and leaned forward slightly. “Well, extraordinary means when you do something that no one thinks you could’ve ever done.”

The little girl’s brain seemed to process this information that had come out of his mouth. She imitated Jon’s stance folding her hands in front of her chest and leaning towards him. “Have you done anything extraordinary?” 

Her question stumped him momentarily. Jon wondered how he was going to answer. Where should he even begin? Jon had lost his mother when he was just fifteen. Ned and Catelyn Stark had insisted that Jon come and live with them. Robb and Arya had had his things packed and brought over to the stark mansion before he could even say a yes. When he was 21, he had started from scratch with the Angel investment Ned Stark had made in his company eight years back. He owned more than thirty companies in the Hospitality sector today. He had managed to create, build and grow all his businesses into a massive empire worth $340 million. Jon had been lucky enough to appear in Forbes Magazine’s 30 under 30. But how does one explain all this to a child without sounding like someone who brags? He cleared his throat. “I’ve built a few hotels.. ummm… buildings… I mean errr.. Skyscrapers so I guess, I’ve done a few extraordinary things” He replied to the girl who was watching him with great concentration, not knowing if he was making any sense.

“My uncle can turn me into an airplane and make me fly!” The girl stated with obvious pride in her uncle’s skills and Jon instantly broke into a grin. “I think that’s very extraordinary.” continued the little girl, he blue eyes sparkling.

Thank you for the lesson in humility, love, he told her in his head. “And what about your Dad?” Jon asked without giving a second thought but the second the words came out of his mouth, Jon knew he had made a mistake. The child’s face fell like her favourite toy had been taken away from her, forcibly.  

“I don’t have a Daddy.” the girl looked like she was close to tears and Jon felt like he was the worst kind of monster. This was not a good state of mind to be in before negotiating a difficult deal.  Jon was at an utter loss for words.

“Mummy says she’ll tell me about him when I’m older” The little girl’s face lifted a bit slowly  “But I have four uncles, an Aunt and Grandma and Grandpa and six cousins. We’re a big family.” Her face fell a little again “But sometimes I wish I could call Uncle Robb “Daddy” just like Sarah, Ben, George and Lilly do.”

The mention of an ‘Uncle Robb’ did various things to Jon’s heart at once, none of which he was willing to explore at the moment. He’d lost touch with the only family that was truly ever his because of one single mistake that he had unknowingly committed. But he’d always sent them Christmas cards but never got a single one in return. Five years had gone by and he missed them every single day. He never had a father, just like this little girl and his heart went out to her. His palm automatically went to cup her cheek. 

“What’s your name, darling?” He asked her wondering if it was strange that he thought he could see so much resemblance between her and his childhood photos. It had to be the hair, he told himself. All kids with a dark mop of curly hair look similar.   

“Lyanna ” said the girl and Jon suddenly had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. ‘Uncle Robb’ first and then ‘Lyanna’ … this was getting ridiculous. The girl cheerfully continued “But you can call me Lya. That’s what Mummy and everyone in my family call me. I’m named after my grandmother.” 

Jon heaved a sigh of relief. The girl’s grandmother was called Lyanna. It had nothing to do with his mother’s name. The girl said she had a grandpa and a grandma. His mother was long dead. Jon smiled at the girl. “So what does your Grandpa call your Grandma, if both of you have the same names.”

“He calls her Cat!” Lyanna looked at Jon incredulously as though he was thick-headed or something and Jon felt like all air had beeen sucked right out of his lungs. He could not be hearing this right. It was impossible. He stared at Lyanna like she was probably not real, like he had conjured her out of thin air.  

Lyanna who was oblivious to the emotions that were going through Jon, continued talking while kicking her legs back and forth playfully . “My Grandma is called Catelyn, my ‘grandmother’ is called Lyanna and no one gets confused because Grandma Lyanna is in heaven. She doesn’t come to visit us, ever.” Jon saw it then, as clear as day. Lyanna was his spitting replica only with the exception of her blue eyes which she had no doubt inherited from her mother. The very thought of her mother, now made his blood boil and set his pulse racing.

For the sake of your good health Sansa Stark, he sent out a prayer into the universe, I really really hope this is not what I think it is.

Jon was now gritting his teeth to keep the anger that was exploding inside him under check. There was still a good possibility that he was over thinking this. “So, you have an Uncle Robb, an Aunt Arya, an Uncle Bran, an Uncle Rickon, a Grandpa Ned and a grandma Cat, who is the fourth uncle?” He asked her as gently as he could.

“It’s Uncle Gendry!” Lyanna exclaimed and then looked at him suspiciously, “How do you know all their names?” She asked him frowning at him with narrowed eyes looking very similar to her mother, he suspected. So Arya had finally come around and married Gendry. But he hadn’t received an invitation for the wedding. Why would Arya exclude him from her wedding? Why would Robb not tell him that he was now a father of four??  He glanced back at Lya who was still frowning at him and realisation dawned upon him.

Of course he got no invitation for the wedding or news of the births of Robb’s children. No wonder the Starks had shut him out. They were all hiding a secret. A secret, that had everything to do with him. Jon was so livid he felt his ears becoming hot.  Just then his phone beeped. EDD had sent him a message. 

“Her name is Sansa Stark. She’s 24, unmarried and a single parent.”

Jon kept staring at his phone unable to move a muscle aware that the little girl next to him probably thought he was mad and it was not going to earn him a first good impression if he was what he thought he was to her. So he smiled and sweetly asked her the last question that he thought was necessary. “How old are you, Love?”

“I’m four.” She asked inching her chair away from him and he instantly regretted the coolness of his voice. The math unfortunately fit perfectly in his calculations and once again Jon felt like he was being hurled down a cliff, rescued then hurled down again. 

His phone beeped again and brought him out of his trance. EDD had sent him another message.

“Ummm… Is this ‘your’ Sansa Stark?”

Jon shut his eyes in an attempt to get a reign over the various emotions that were raging within him. EDD sent him another message and this time he practically growled but he read it anyway. 

“Well, She is your Sansa. I double checked twice, so that makes is four times. Hence I took so much time. Jon……. You’re so fucked buddy!!!”