#and my bestie left school for another one

[creatingblackcharacters]

I have a second submission for favourite Black characters!

Barbie "Brooklyn" Roberts!

So back in 2021, Mattel introduced a second Barbie Roberts to the animated universe as a main character - a Black Barbie! She and the white Barbie share the same name and end up roommates together in the first movie they share. To differentiate each other, they take on nicknames of where they are from, white Barbie is "Malibu" and Black Barbie gets "Brooklyn" (I'm gonna call Brooklyn "Barbie" and white Barbie, "white Barbie").

Barbie is a badass young woman. She's a go-getter who loves to schedule things, do as much as possible, and plan for every future she wants to go for. She loves working on her community, playing guitar, writing music, doing ballet, singing, hanging out with her friends, and trying to become a rockstar.

Barbie is an incredibly kind soul, and while she often jumps to conclusions, she's very capable of taking a breath, realizing she was wrong, and correcting her mistake. She's not afraid to apologize, but she's also not afraid to take up space and demand what she deserves. Barbie is part of tons of clubs and initiatives and is always trying to make her school and community a better place. She's organized a trash clean-up, a beach clean-up (I think), and tons of different events at her school. She also makes friends wherever she goes.

And she's an amazing problem solver. I wish I had half of her skills at problem solving.

She and white Barbie make up The Barbies, a pop duo. The two started out as both rivals and besties, and while they were competitive it was always to lift one another up, not tear each other down.

Barbie has an incredible singing voice, courtesy of Tatianna Varria, and I love her dance moves, her clear passion in her voice, and her love for finding outfits for their shows.

In the Mermaid Power movie, both Barbies and white Barbie's sisters get to become mermaids and gain magical powers! Barbie ends up with fire powers and she ends up using the power of music and bad puns to convince an angry teal mermaid to become her friend instead of her enemy.

She is genuinely my favourite character in the entire Barbie universe and I love absolutely everything about her. She got me back into the universe way after I left the target audience and I could watch her all day.

Brooklyn and Malibu is wild lmao but I can see doing that. And I know that's right 😤 she's BARBIE! So often everything we do gets called "Black ___" (and that's the nice, slur free approach) as if we can't just be the character. No one calls all the white people cosplaying Naruto "white Naruto". So... Racism!

Omg I've organized trash clean ups and have good problem solving skills too 🥺🥺 Barbie! This sounds so magical and I'm so happy. I didn't know they were doing this with Barbie 😭😭😭 I might have to watch a couple animated movies again. I used to love the movies as a kid, though admittedly I was more a Bratz kid.

[desirediariesx]

diary entry #19

I repaid my boyfriend for all of the dick he has been letting me play with

Okay so if you have been following my posts at all then you know that I my bf has been letting me have all kinds of fun. From inviting guys over to use me anonymously, to letting me play with his friends. I have been absolutly loving it and I decided that it would be only fair to return the favor.

I have a friend who I know has always had a bit of a crush on my bf. She is my bestie and we share everything with each other so she knows all about everything we do and all our sexual adventures. She is this cute petite 19 year old blonde girl who I go to school with. She is bisexual as well and we have def made out more than a few times at parties and stuff like that.

I explained the situation to her and told her that I wanted to return the favor to my bf and I wanted to let him experience some other pussy. She was sooooo excited honestly I was suprised haha. I told her my plan and we decided to do it later that night.

When the night came I told my bf that I had a suprise for him, since he has been making me the luckiest girl in the world lately. I told him that I wanted him to lay down on the bed, put a blindfold on, and enjoy himself. I could tell he was excited and wondering what I had planned. My bestie was right outside in her car waiting for me to give her the signal to come in.

Once he was in bed and blindfolded I told her to come in. My bf was already hard as a rock waiting in anticipation. I held my finger up to my lips as a signal to my bestie to be quiet while I unzipped his pants. She wasted no time in putting him in her mouth. Wow she was talented. I never have seen her suck dick before and honestly I was impressed. She def did it better than me ngl. I felt myself getting wetter and wetter while I watched her blow him, and I started playing with myself while I watched. It was fucking hot.

I started making out with my boyfriend and he moaned "thank you" into my mouth while we kissed. I asked if he was ready to feel another girls pussy and he nodded. I said outloud "let him feel how tight that pussy is" and my friend undressed and got on top of him. They both moaned when he slid into her and I actually moaned myself from watching it haha.

I got my toy and started fucking myself while I watched her ride him and I was the first one to cum it was so hot to watch! I kept on rubbing my clit wile keeping my dildo inside of me and just watched her ride him. After a few minutes she moaned "fuck, i'm cumming". His cock was soaked with all her cream and it was hotttttt. I started kissing him and whispering into his ear. "I want you to cum in her". He wasted no time. Grabbing onto her and pulling her deep while he filled up her pussy. It was so hot to watch. I fucking loved it.

After they finished, I told her to leave, and once she left I let him take off the blindfold. I let him watch me suck his cock clean of all the cum from the both of them. He kept asking me who she was and I told him I would never tell. He really wanted to know hahahah. I wouldn't budge tho, its only fair. Such an amazing experience i'm def gonna bring home more girls for him to fuck hehe.

[iamtheoneandonlyever]

Guys

The yearning for my old friends is coming back full force

This is why i should not be left alone, I WANT MY FRIENDS BACK

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

”why are you so good at that?”

his caress is gentle. tender, steady, secure; and practiced, you can tell, just from the instant relief you feel — the vivid care in how his fingertips smooth along your skin. 

suguru presses his thumbs into the bridge of your nose, right beneath your forehead, big palms cupping your face. they’re warm, calloused, but still somehow so soft — massaging you gently. the pads of his fingers trail upwards, rubbing soothing little circles against your temples. as if he’s memorized every patch of skin, seen the very inside of your skull. as if he knows exactly where to apply pressure to make the sharp jolts of pain go away. 

and it’s working. the room you’re in is dimly lit, illuminated only by the vermilion rays of the setting sun, bleeding in through the gap between the opened shoji screens. a faint, summery scent accompanies them; like burnt roses, or a salty ocean breeze, not enough to rouse the nausea in your throat. it’s quiet. all you can hear is the soft humming of your lover, and your own relieved breaths, pulled out by his skillful hands. his pointer fingers pinch between your brows, and another one follows. the sweetest little sigh. 

”am i?” his voice is soft, even more so than usual, as if the slightest noise could disrupt your peace. a smile is knit between the vowels. ”i’m glad.”

he sounds a little tired. it’s been a long day for both of you, so it’s no surprise. when you finally got back home, the inside of your skull was tormented by a persistent ache, and suguru was blinking with fatigue — though he still insisted on doing this. lying you down on his lap, like a fragile doll, crossing his legs to give you enough space to rest comfortably; the back of your head finding respite on his thigh, senses enveloped by the silk of his robes, smelling lightly of cherry blossoms and sandalwood. comfy.

and, after only a couple minutes of his loving treatment, the ache began to dull. sweet relief seeping into your nerves.

he reminds you to take deep breaths, watching intently as the contours of your face fall back into a state of tranquility. whenever he shifts, the tatami mats beneath him rustle, and your muddled mind sways like the rocking of a boat; slight, but still enough to coax a wince from out your throat, a tiny spark of pain blooming between your sinuses, followed by a murmured apology from the man above you. 

a hum buzzes in his throat. you hear it, eyes still shut, waiting for him to answer your question. and he does, of course — so weak to you, always, your voice the key to his locked-up heart.

”back in high school…” he starts, diligently continuing the facial massage, comforting circles rubbed into your skin. ”... my best friend got migraines often.” 

a soft groan slips from out your parted lips, when he pushes against a certain spot — locating the pressure points like brushing specks of dust from off his clothing. effortless. 

”ah,” you click your tongue, melting into his touch. turning into a boneless puddle, cradled in his lap, comfy as can be. ”your mysterious bestie, huh?”

it’s not the first you’ve heard of this best friend. suguru’s mentioned him before, though only in passing, in whispers, comments he hopes will sound absentminded. they never do — because suguru says the word friend like it’s a prayer. 

(that explains it, though. no wonder it feels so good; it is practiced. should you feel jealous?

well, maybe. but you mostly think it’s kind of sweet.)

before you can think of what you’re saying, the words have left your lips. they tumble out like little pizzicato drops, spoken casually, matter-of-factly. a tiny chirp of a thing.

”you must have loved him a lot.”

…

silence.

for just a moment, the thumbs pressing against your skin halt — just for a second, but enough to notice, and suddenly you feel a little like the air has been sucked out of the room.

even with your eyes closed, you know suguru’s smile is nowhere to be seen. 

it’s funny, how well you’ve come to know him. how you’ve learned to memorize every expression you’ve ever seen him make, any signs of distress or discomfort. he does this thing with his eyes, sometimes — a thin kind of concealment, when you shuffle a little too close for his comfort. figuratively speaking, because you’re almost certain he’d let you crawl under his skin if you asked. but sometimes you twist the key to his heart a little too abruptly, and his eyes of gold and ochre shift in the light, honey clogging the interior of his cornea. something sickly-sweet. something he’s kept locked up for a long time.

a nostalgia so palpable it breaks your heart just to look at it.

you don’t want to open your eyes. you don’t want to see the kind of face he’s making right now. you don’t want to know if he’s pursing his lips, or furrowing his brows, just because of your carelessly chosen words — you know his old best friend is a sensitive subject. gosh, you’re stupid. 

stupid, stupid, stupid.

(why can’t you ever just read the room?)

blindly, you stumble for something to say, parting your lips. desperate to change the topic, to save him from this suffocating silence.

— but then suguru breaks it.

”yeah.”

when your eyes flutter open, he’s looking out into the garden. watching the sun, as it sinks beneath the mountains, lips curved up into a small smile.

”i suppose i did.”

…

you take a moment to look at him. the bridge of his nose, the firm lines of his jaw — the slightest tremble of the muscle. and those eyes, set afire by the final rays of the setting sun, burned to ash. filled with… something. not regret.

just longing.

suddenly, the pads of his fingers are dancing along your skin again; gliding down to pinch your nose. it makes you yelp, a tiny squeak.

and then he’s looking at you. 

”but i love you more,” he croons, a little tilt of his head that make his bangs move like a black curtain. eyes swirling with humour, something syrupy and teasing, awfully fond. ”my little dove.”

before you know it, your cheeks are blossoming with warmth; the branches of your lips curling up into a shy smile. his attention is a little too much to bear, so you wriggle out of his grasp — turning around to press your face into his stomach. his sleeves cast a curtain around you, a protective veil, but it’s not long until you’re being coaxed back into your original position.

”ah ah,” he tuts, chiding you lovingly; a coo in the back of his throat. ”none of that. let me take care of you.”

all you can do is groan, meekly, squeezing your eyes shut. suguru only chuckles, cupping your cheeks and continuing to apply pressure on your forehead and nose, large warm palms against your chilled skin — unwilling to let you escape his pampering.

the sun sets eventually. but he keeps you on his lap until the headache has faded entirely, until your eyelids have dragged you into a deep slumber, until tiny snores are seeping from your parted lips. until the moon has pulled itself into the night sky above you.

somehow, even on the brink of exhaustion, you manage to feel his warm lips against your forehead; hear the muffled murmur against your skin.

”sweet dreams, my darling,” comes a whisper, deep and silky, coaxing you further into the cradle of sleep. his thumb smooths along your cheekbone, down to the curve of your jaw — a trail of warmth. ”come back to me soon, won’t you?”

he smiles. you feel it, that soft upward curve, a blissed out sensation drowning you in white noise. the space inside your mind is free of pain, filled only with thoughts of him, the lines of his fingers burning patterns into your skin. one final kiss pressed between your brows, and then he’s pulling away; curling his arms under your knees and hoisting you up. into his steady arms, his robes shielding you from the soft glow of the stars.

”… don’t dawdle in dreamland for too long.”

the whisper goes unheard. fast asleep, suguru can only gaze at you, drinking in the serenity on your features. trying not to remember a boy with blue eyes — the similar expression he wore once his migraines had begun to fade.

he shakes his head, and carries you towards the bedroom. safe and sound in his embrace.

[fingertipsmp3]

Going to the corner shop at 9am always has me like ‘ah. This is why I don’t go out at this time’

[retroaria]

ੈ♡˳ boyfriend Isagi ｡.｡:∞♡

summary: cutsey headcanons for everyones favorite egoist Isagi Yoichi (HIMsagi GOATichi) a bit of a school AU but you can add your own nuances to it ofc I just tried to be general

warnings: purest of fluff (your heart might explode)

BLUE LOCK M.LIST | enjoy 🤍 - aria

pre!boyfriend isagi who shows his feelings through sweet acts of service before he’s ready to tell you head on. Need a partner for that project? He’s already slipping into the desk beside you, a smile on his face. Left your pencil case in homeroom? He’ll run however many miles to ensure it gets back to you. (could’ve texted you but he wants to hand it to you like Prince Charming). Forgot your lunch that day? he’s already splitting half his bento to give to you.

pre!boyfriend isagi who may be afraid to confront you about his feelings off the bat but will go so far out of his way to form a friendship with you first. Immediately introduces himself as soon as you catch his eye. You guys exchange numbers and socials and the rest is history: late night phone calls, weekend hangouts, walking you to school every morning. This boy wants to be your bestie before he swoops in for the goal (and steals your heart!)

pre!boyfriend isagi who wants to immerse himself in your interests and vise versa. No matter what it is you’re into he knows that understanding your passions will help him further understand you. Loves seeing you in the stands during his practice or games. Will literally melt at the sight of you cheering for him. “Clean up on left field, this boy just turned into a puddle of mush!”

pre!boyfriend isagi who can’t help but brush his hand and arm against yours when you walk together. Can’t help but press his leg to yours when sitting together. Can’t help but offer to carry your bags or books. Can’t help but pick that “lint” out of your hair or that “eyelash” on your face (totally not an excuse to touch you). Can’t help but tug you closer to him in crowded spaces. Can’t help but stare endlessly into your eyes everytime you speak (the BEST listener ever btw)

pre!boyfriend isagi who realizes he doesn’t want to waste another second of his life not being able to call you his. Uses the first moment he gets alone with you to take your hands in his and give you the most honest and heartfelt confession. He’s blushing lightly but confident in the connection he’s worked hard to build with you.

boyfriend!isagi who cant wait to be able to hold your hand in public, pull you in for quick kisses, wrap his arm around you whenever he wants, hold you close to him on the couch or in bed, tell you how perfect you are everyday, and never let you forget that he feels like the luckiest boy in the world when he’s with you.

boyfriend!isagi who can’t wait to introduce you to all his friends. You meet Bachira first (obvi) and the three of you become an unstoppable trio. Loves having you at post game celebrations and having you as his personal cheerleader (this boy would do anything to win the game and make you proud)

boyfriend!isagi who dies at the thought of you referring to him as “your boyfriend” and getting to say “my girlfriend/boyfriend/partner. he loves talking about you to his parents! They’re so happy to meet you and so glad that he has someone who cares for him. His mom def shows you all his baby photos (babysagi!)

boyfriend!isagi who takes you on the cutest dates and loves when you take him on dates too (makes him feel like a special boy). He always tries to do something where the two of you can spend a lot of time talking or have a nice experience together. He’s so open and willing to try new things with you, having you in his life has opened him up as a person. He’s also never not happy to just spend the night in snuggled up watching a movie/tv show/anime. (Aside: I have an isagi x reader one shot idea where they go on a date to a butterfly garden that I may potentially post Idk yet)

boyfriend!isagi who is constantly worrying about your health and wellbeing. You can’t tell me he isn’t the kind of guy to constantly check up on you, making sure you’re ok physically and mentally as often as he can. If ever you’re feeling upset or in pain/sick he goes into doctor mode and will do everything in his power to help. If all else fails he will just hold you and promise that his love will make it all better (he’s a loving optimist what can I say)

boyfriend!isagi who is the first to admit that he is absolutely smitten and totally wrapped around your finger because he will forever be in awe that he had the chance to share his love and be loved by someone so special <3

I’d love to do some more specific headcanons on him but I kept these as generic as possible and tried my best to capture just how sweetboy coded he is lol.

[transmechanicus]

this is. probably a very personal question.

Is it worth it? Transitioning? In spite of it all?

Completely, utterly, and absolutely. I’m one of those ppl who knew i was trans since i was like 8. I found out when i was probably 13/14 what transgender meant, but recoiled from it because i could not imagine a world that would accept me or where i would be happy with the result. At 15 i met my first other trans person, and they became my friend and partner and the first person to ever know i was trans. Being around them, known by them, was such a colossal psychological relief and source of joy unlike anything i had known before. It made separating from them after graduation all the more excruciating to lose that one person i had trusted with that truth.

Sometime over the next two years i came out to my Mom, but nothing really changed, and i had more or less resolved to rot and die under the identity i had been born into. I let my undergrad studies chew me up, neglected all but the most necessary body maintenance, and spent every moment outside work or class buried in video games or books. At some point something snapped out of place, or perhaps back into place. I knew i didn’t want to die like this. I wanted something more for my life and my flesh than being a half dead servitor stocking yogurt. I wanted to transition, and however slowly, however long it took, that’s what i resolved to do.

It took a while. I had no real finances, no privacy, and little independence. I was coming from a white low-self-expression, high-control household. I “messed up” while base coating warhammer models one time and gave myself black nails. My dad berated me about it for days before trying to pin my hands down and sand the paint off (didn’t work, thank you automotive primer). When i was ~22 i got my ears pierced, basically the first permanent part of my transition, and i had never known as much joy as i did driving home knowing the pain was a step of permanent progress. Around this time 2019/2020 i started being out online, more vocal about being transgender as opposed to just having a relatively inexpressive fandom blog with no info beyond my name.

When i was 24, two years ago i came out to my dad, and a week later i left for grad school halfway across the country. I had an apartment all to myself, and my own source of income. I spent my spare change building up a wardrobe of new clothes that i actually liked. I got my first year of grad school done mostly without anything remarkable. Went to some queer events at my school. Found a partner. Got loved to bits for a while. Re-came out to my parents over the summer, and this time it stuck. Started HRT that fall, 2023. Came out to my classmates and coworkers and was rewarded with support and acceptance. Lost the partner. Devastated. Resolve to get even hotter and cooler. Smash out 3 piercings and a tattoo inside a week. Develop personal fashion sense. Attend research conference. Get better at makeup. Go to some concerts. Increase HRT. Tiddy Arc. Buy bra with a supportive bestie. Start weekly therapy. Increase HRT. Cosplay at a major convention. Schedule another tattoo. More HRT. Bra no longer optional. Present day. Tattoo on Wednesday. 90% of progress packed into the last year or so. Undeniably hotter, happier, and more self-expressive than anything in the last 24 years prior.

Transitioning is more than worth it, it brings me so much relief and joy every day no matter how shitty my day is otherwise, and while i have known doubt, i have never for an instant known regret.

There is still time🖤🏳️‍⚧️💕

[ddejavvu]

okay but mei, touchy bestie anakin with no boundaries??

like pls that man just brush against me and i’d become goo on the spot

we've expanded a lot on bff!james with no boundaries but I'd love more on anakin :)

--

It's not uncommon to see pairs of padawans looking as though their brief sparring session has resulted in the destruction of all of their bones. It's so common, in fact, that salles have a cooldown area, separated from the main floor and paved with tile so that the floors produce a chilling effect when exhausted padawans flop down onto them.

It's an odd hour of the evening and classes resume tomorrow, so you and Anakin had the salles to yourselves. You're sprawled out over the tile emitting intermittent groans here and there- perhaps Anakin is brushing up on his Shyriiwook.

When the sun no longer stretches to the door, now receding over the windowsill, you know you'll need to be back in your respective quarters soon to avoid 2 nagging masters lecturing on school nights and proper nighttime conduct which, apparently, does not include sparring.

You nudge your hand against the back of Anakin's own, "Let's go."

Another groan that speaks deeply to the exhaustion inside of you.

You peel yourself off of the tile first, but Anakin's quick to catch your arm, and a flick of his forearm means you're falling back against the floor once more. The angle that he pulls you at, however, lands you more on him.

You fall halfway on top of his chest, and your elbow hits his stomach. He lets out yet another grunt, this time of sharp pain instead of a dull ache, "Oh- kriff."

"Sorry!" You press your palm flat against him to get up, and it hits his chest, rock-hard and damp beneath his sweat-soaked tunic. You try pushing up and off of him but he catches your wrists, weakening your grip and holding you semi-upright above him.

"Easy," He soothes, folding upright himself with a heavy sigh and righting you in the process. He blinks languidly, and one his hands lingers on your own, "I don't think I can walk back to my quarters."

"I can't carry you," You try wriggling your wrist out of his grip, but he tightens his hold and pulls you in to smear his sweaty brow against your shoulder- too close to your chest for your stomach not to twist.

You feel a huff of his breath leak beneath the outer layer of your tunics and he draws back having left a stain on your clothes, eyes narrowed at it in sadistic pride.

"There," He nods once, using a great deal of effort to rise to his feet, "I think you should carry me. I won, after all."

"You always win," You grumble, taking the hand that he offers you and letting him haul you off of the ground, "Besides, I can barely walk myself."

Quite contrary to his beleaguered complaints, he merely rolls his eyes, stepping in front of you and offering you his back, his legs bending partway to lower him into a squat.

You stand frozen, half-indignant at being cut off, and half bewildered by the offer you think he might be making.

And he is making it, though his patience is waning as he urges you forwards with his hands, "Come on! If I keep squatting like this my knees are gonna give out."

You rush to scramble up into his grip, his hands winding around your thighs, fingers squeezing places you weren't aware were integral to your support.

"You're lugging me through the Temple on your back," You point out, but your arms tighten around his shoulders just in case he decides to rescind his offer, "Your knees are gonna give out no matter what."

His jaw tightens as you murmur in his ear- you know it by the way a muscle beneath his cheek jumps. You wonder if he can feel it- if he can sense it when you swallow the little saliva that's pooled in your mouth upon such close contact with Anakin, and he calls his abandoned lightsaber to his hand after that uncharacteristic moment of hesitation with a flick of his fingers.

"Hold this," He orders, stuffing the cold hilt into your hands that are crossed over his chest, dangling there over his broad shoulders. You don't ask why he can't just clip it to his belt- you're too busy focusing on the way that his hand comes back to grip awfully close to your core when he braces it back on your thigh.

Hand warmed by your skin, fingers inches away from your now-aching core, the muscle of his back pressed to your chest, Anakin marches through the halls of the Temple, palming your thighs to readjust your position on his back far too often.

[hadersversion]

III. i can fix him (no really i can)

“good boy, that’s right. come close, i’ll show you heaven if you’ll be an angel all night.”

pairing: rafe cameron x innocent pogue! reader

word count: ?? (NOT PROOFREAD)

warnings: 18+ minors dni!! language, soft rafe cameron because my boy just needs some love, slow burn, fighting (m/m & f/m), toxic ex

masterlist!

the outer banks filled with people quickly over the past two nights.

the fourth of july was approaching and everyone wanted to spend their time off in a beach town as nice as the island.

i watched as cars filled in at the gas station, out of towners filling their car up and grabbing their essentials for their vacation.

“have a nice day.” i say, handing the bag over to the elderly man. i watched him hold the door open for someone and greet them with a smile.

“thank you.” kiara said sweetly, walking into the gas station. she came up to the counter, leaning against it. “how ya feeling, champ?” she hands me a paper cup of coffee.

“i love you, kiara carrera.” i take a big sip before putting it down, grabbing some candy no one bought but left at the register. “awful, haven’t had a break since i got here. i hate this. i hate how touristy this place becomes. and i hate how many people need gas for their cars. or snacks for their kids.” i rant, slamming down a bag of candy without knowing.

kie looks at me, trying to hold back her laugh. “you got this, you’re a trooper.” she pokes me. “and plus, you get to party tonight with your besties and watch the fireworks.”

“yay.” i say in a monotone voice, causing her to flip me the middle finger. “i’m just kidding, but i would much rather stay at home and watch a movie or something.”

“y/n, you have all summer to do that. one night, please. we haven’t done something like this since the last day of school.” she pleads.

“you remember the last day of school party?” i joke.

“yes, i do remember it. bits and pieces.” she admits, making us both laugh. “it’ll be fun, we got a keg and jj got some weed. it’ll be a chill night.”

“a chill night with a bunch of out of towners and kooks trying to crash.” i say.

kiara nodded. “not much we can do about that. but jj promised he won’t fight anyone tonight. just for you.”

“aw, how sweet.” i say sarcastically.

“such a gentleman.” she adds, grabbing a pack of gum and slipping me a dollar bill. “i’ll see you tonight, alright?” i nod as she walks out the door.

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

all of our parties usually end the same. jj is too drunk and too rowdy that he gets into a fight. john b leaves with someone. kiara talks to anyone who will listen. pope, tries to sneak away early, but is caught up with jj in his shenanigans. and then there’s me. the one taking care of them. making sure that they get back to the chateau safe and sound. where would my friends be without me?

the more i think about the party, the more i just don’t want to go. i love my friends and our parties, but fourth of july always ends badly for us. it could be a curse or could be our inability to handle our alcohol.

the streets and beaches are packed as parties kick off to celebrate the holiday a day early.

just another excuse for people to get drunk.

jj already started the festivities off with a 6 pack of budweiser he’s been guzzling.

“hey, jj, no fair. you said you would give me some.” pope says, elbowing him.

“you snooze, you lose.” he smiles like the asshole he is.

i grab a beer from my bag and hand it to him. “i don’t know why you believe a word that comes out of that boys mouth when it involves alcohol and sharing.”

john b chimes in. “she has a point.” pope waves us off and sips the beer.

the beach fills up fast, john b and jj pulling their usual antics on the out of town crowd. charging the guys almost $10 to come in, but ladies get in free of course. some kooks make their appearances, keeping their distance from us. all is well.

until i see him.

rafe saunters onto the beach, head held high as he sips out of a red solo cup. once he sets his eyes on me, he doesn’t break it. it’s almost like i’m having deja vu to the last party he came to. especially with hearing my friends talk in disgust about him.

“here we go.” john b spits.

a pit forms in my stomach as i watch him part the crowd like the red sea. everyone just stares at him as he makes his way through. he’s like a celebrity to these people.

my body and my mind feels drawn to him, like i’m in some sort of trance. i want to reach out, talk to him, touch him. anything. but that’s risky right now with all of my friends scattered around.

i shake my beer can and sigh. “i’m empty, gonna go get another.” i make way over to the coolers, digging around the ice, waiting.

waiting for him.

“there’s my favorite pogue.” i hear from behind me.

i straighten myself up and smile, turning to look at him. “the kook prince himself. what brings you out to these parts?” i ask, putting my hand on my hip.

“had to make sure you were staying out of trouble.” he jokes, sipping his beer.

“very funny, coming from you.” i say and he shrugs. “just didn’t expect it.”

“why? cause your friends fucking hate me?” i look over at him. he’s wearing a light blue polo that shows his tone body off with a backwards cap. what a fucking kook.

“precisely.” i say, opening my beer. “most pogues do.”

“well i can think of one who doesn’t hate me.” he says, tapping my can with his cup to ‘cheers’ me.

“oh really? who might they be?” i say sarcastically.

“well, she’s pretty fucking cool. is always true to herself, doesn’t let what anyone thinks get in her way. let’s see, what else? she also has a weird obsession with dolphins.” i elbow him. “hey, hey. just telling the truth.”

“fuck off.” i take another sip.

a comfortable silence falls between us, fireworks start shooting off above us. the red, white and blue paints the sky as we both stare at it.

“not on such high alert with me right now. not worried about your friends looking at us?” he says in an almost teasing tone. i hate his stupid, beautiful face.

“should i?” i ask back.

“you always seem to.” he says back.

our eyes never leave the sky.

i sigh and sip my beer. “it’s complicated.”

“i’m sure.” he says shortly.

i look over at him. “how would your friends feel if you were off fraternizing with the enemy?”

he laughs and turns to me. “fraternizing?”

“shut up, you know what i mean.” i blush. “it’s just…complicated with them.”

“complicated how, exactly?” he asks. “you’re your own person, ya know?”

“i know. but they’re like my family. i don’t wanna let my family down.” i sigh.

he nods. “you’re too good for them.”

“stop.” i say with a chuckle.

“i mean it. you are. you have a big heart, you care for everyone. you second guess everything to make sure it won’t hurt them.” he says. “do they do that for you?”

my breathe hitches. “i-i-um.” i stammer.

“just what i thought.” he snaps back. “i’m just saying, you should prioritize yourself.” i can’t talk, overthinking everything he just said. how is he reading me like he’s known me his whole life. “did i lose you there?”

“n-no, just gave me a lot to think about right there, dude.” i chuckle awkwardly.

he opens his mouth to say something but gets interrupted.

“hey y/n.” a voice says.

we both look up to see a boy. he’s one from around the cut. one that i used to talk to.

“hey brandon.” i say quietly.

brandon and i go way back, dating here and there throughout the years. we finally broke up because, according to him, i wouldn’t ‘put out’.

in simple terms, fuck this guy.

he looks over to rafe and back at me. “what are you doing over here?” his eyes rake over my body, making me shiver from being uncomfortable. he’s always been a bit of a…perv. to say the least.

“talking.” rafe says. “we’re just talking.” he steps up a bit, in a protective manner.

brandon closes his eyes in annoyance. “wasn’t talking to you, cameron.”

“well now you are.” rafe says with a smug smile. “so whatever you wanted to say to my friend, y/n, you can say to me.”

brandon let’s out a breathe. “why are you even here, bro? don’t you got some gala or something to go to?”

i roll my eyes. “he can be here, brandon. it’s a free beach.”

he turns to me. “wouldn’t have expected you to fuck a kook, y/n. didn’t peg you for the traitor type.”

my face turns red. “i’m not fucking anyone. and if i was, why does it concern you?”

he moves closer. “a little shocked that the virgin mary of the cut would be so easy to put out. especially for rafe fucking cameron. just a little shocked to say the least. seems a little easy.” brandon is so close, i’m looking up to him as he speaks to me.

this was brandon’s favorite thing to do. talk down to me when he’s the one that’s upset.

before i can defend myself, rafe puts himself in between us. “hey man, back the fuck up, will ya?” he says.

i peak my head up and look at him. “and get the fuck out of here.”

brandon’s eyes darken. “who the fuck do you think you’re talking to, bitch?” he almost yells.

“you, bitch.” i spit, anger taking over my body.

rafe turns around and gives me a smile like he’s proud of me. “you good?” he asks and i nod. when he gets the assurance he needs, he turns back to him. “you heard her, get the fuck out of here.”

“i’m not letting a kook tell me what to do, especially not rafe cameron.” he’s up close and personal in rafe’s face. “don’t get pussy whipped by her, bro. she won’t put out for shit.”

rafe tenses up and suddenly pushes him onto the ground. when brandon tries to get up, rafe steps onto his chest and holds him down. “apologize.”

“what the f-” he wheezes out as rafe steps down harder.

“apologize to her. now.” rafe grits his teeth.

“fuck no.” and with a swift movement, rafe’s on the ground and holding brandon by the collar of his shirt.

i stand there, unable to move. it’s not fear i’m feeling but my body feels like a rush is taking over.

“fucking apologize to her before i leave you unrecognizable.” rafe yells.

brandon’s eyes widen as he looks at rafe, like a prey looking at its predator. “i-i’m sorry, okay. jesus.”

rafe drops his body down and stands up, spitting down at him. “and stay the fuck away from her.” his voice sounds dark. it almost looks like he’s holding back.

if this is him holding back, how does he react when he’s really pushed over the edge?

he turns around, his face reflecting the anger his body has. i hate the reaction my body is having to him in this state. he’s like a magnet that i can’t help but get stuck on. his face softens as he looks at me. “you okay?” he lightly caresses my arm.

the touch has me feeling electric. “y-yeah.” i breathe out. i look into his eyes and i feel as though there’s physical hearts on them. i’m so lost in thoughts about rafe, i don’t notice the crowd of people form around us, looking at the two of us in confusion.

i know how this will look. rafe cameron came to the cut to fuck with the pogues and be a menace to society. but it wasn’t true. far from it.

“let’s go.” i say, grabbing his hand.

he instinctively squeezes it once we make contact. “where?”

“anywhere . c’mon.” i pull him through the crowd and we run across the beach. the fireworks light up the night sky and leave a ringing in our ears. the music from the beach gets quieter and quieter, signaling that we got far enough.

i finally stop our tracks, turning around to look at him. the wind blows my hair as the ocean waves come crashing near us. he’s looking down at me, still holding my hand. “you okay?”

“thank you.” i say, ignoring his question. “but you didn’t have to do that.”

“y/n, don’t thank me for that. i should thank you for letting me talk down to the little shit.” he laughs. “but of course i had to do that, no one talks to you that way and gets away with it.”

“just accept the gratitude, dammit.” we both chuckle and he nods. “brandon is such a dick but you didn’t have to almost kill him to defend me.”

“i handle all assholes the same way, y/n. he was the luckiest one of them all if i’m completely honest.” i sigh, not wanting to know the full backstory of what he means but i can already see it in my head. “how do you even know him?” he asks, pushing hair behind my ear as it blows around my face.

“we dated way back when. didn’t work out for obvious reasons.” i say.

rafe’s eyes are painted with jealousy. “you dated that jerkoff?”

“sadly.” i shrug.

rafe shakes his head and closes his eyes. “well, if he ever tries to pull some shit like that again. let me know and i’ll take care of it.”

take care of it. those four words shouldn’t have sent warmth right to my core but it did.

“even though you had him shaking in his boots when you called him a bitch.” i blush, closing my eyes, and he squeezes my hand. “hey, it was badass…and hot.” he adds.

i open my eyes and look back at him. “hot?”

“i mean you’re always hot but that was…that was very attractive.” he tells me.

we stare at each other in silence. we both don’t know where to go from there but we both know what we want to do.

i feel myself stand up on my tippy toes, slowly. my hands rest on his chest as i stare at him. his breathe shutters as i stand there. there’s a voice inside of my head telling me to back down. do not kiss him. if you do, things will go from bad to worse. but then there’s a different voice, the voice telling me how soft his lips would feel. how good this kiss would be. how happy it would make me. i battle with the angel and devil on my shoulder before ultimately giving into the desires i’ve been wanting since we started talking.

our lips connect and if the fireworks weren’t going off above us right now, there would be some from the way this kiss feels. it’s sweet and gentle, two words most people wouldn’t use to describe rafe cameron. his hands slowly find their way to my cheeks, cupping them as though he’d lose me if he let go. all the frustration we’ve been building up from each other now finding its way out in a satisfying ending. i deepen the kiss, my tongue slowly entering into his mouth. i can tell it takes him by surprise when his breathe stutters in my mouth. like he’s letting out a sigh of relief. my hands find their way to his cap, holding onto it. i could stay like this for eternity but i pull myself back unhurriedly.

we just stand there, looking into each others eyes. “took you long enough.” rafe jokes, making me punch his arm.

“don’t ruin this, asshole.” i say.

he pulls me into his body tighter. “alright, alright. i won’t. only because i’ve been waiting so long for this.”

his arms engulf me as we stand there. i don’t want to leave, i could make myself at home here. leave the entire outer banks and their class system behind. leave the whole damn world behind if i could. but i know the reality is slowly creeping outside of this bubble we created. but i want to relish this moment for as long as i can. i rest my head on his chest and sigh, taking in his expensive cologne and memorizing his breathing patterns. the fireworks continue on overhead as i smile to myself.

this. this is the moment i knew, i fell hard for rafe cameron. harden than i ever expected.

tag list: @readingsmuts @saranred @kikixdee @drewsdirtyslut @ephermally @personaswrld @ymnizuh @lillywildly @anaheimd101 @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @thewitchesofart @ditzyzombiesblog @gothamgurl2024 @machersgirlie

[envy-of-the-apple]

Hiiiiiiiii, I hope you’re well! This is my first time sending you an ask but I’m really curious about something :)

What would have happened if ms. Moons had ended up pregnant before she left satoru? Like her birth control failed or something and she gets pregnant, satoru doesn’t know and she still leaves, ends up raising the baby on her own and when they are reunited satoru finds out he had a kid with her. Would he have been happy to know he had a baby with her, would he step up to be a good dad???

SEM!Satoru being a good dad hahahahahaha you're so funny bestie.

once again. he will not care about the baby. it's not about 'omg i wanna raise a life with my one true love' it's just another leash for him. another promise he makes to himself that he owns you. the poor kid is just a physical manifestation for that.

he'd definitely be pissed if he finds Ms.moon again and discovers he has a kid. Not because he was kept away from the brat all this time, more in the sense that even a baby wasn't enough to keep you tethered to him. It hurts his pride a little.

Still, it's his blood and you both are clearly a package. He'd take the kid in, but he'd make it extremely clear on the fact that your kid's well-being hinged on your behavior. He's too soft to hurt you, but he doesn't have the same sentiment for your kid. It's a great way to keep you in line. Despite his irritation, he has to admit that your kid still served its purpose in the end.

Call Satoru superficial, but the way he treats his kid will mostly depend on how much said kid looks. That being said, he won't make his irritation known to the child, at least. He'd be nice and silly and cute, but behind closed doors he'd definitely complain and not so gently hint at this amazing overseas boarding school.

He'd tolerate the kid's presence a lot more if they looked like him. He'll see the kid as an extension of himself. If he isn't there around you, well, his reminder would. In his own demented way, the kid is like a memento from him to you.

If the kid looks like you, he'd be far less jealous of them. After all, it's a mini you! So cute! He'd behave more 'father-like' towards the kid. They might even go on fishing trips together.

God forbid if the kid doesn't look like you or him.

[pshcomforts]

➳ back to the old house | psh.

highschool!sunghoon x fem!reader

“and you never knew, how much i really liked you”

synopsis: since your senior year was coming to an end soon, you decided to be a little more bold by sending notes of encouragements to your longtime crush who was also your friend, park sunghoon.

warnings/content: written in third pov. heavy angst. no happy ending. cursing. not proofread. miscommunication. i’m gonna say sorry in advance.

comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)

word count: 4.4k

a/n: inspired by @snghnlvr’s sunghoon fanfic! fictional characters — dae (jungwon’s partner), min-su (heeseung’s partner), and ji-woo (jake’s partner).

༘˚⋆𐙚｡masterlist⋆.✧˚

current song playing: back to the old house by the smiths

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

1:20 ────────|─────────── -1:45

sunny skies beamed on the school grounds as y/n tiredly walked into the classroom that wasn’t her first period. her name wasn’t enrolled in that class but his was. she yawned as the early morning was still a new thing to her.

the exhausted girl reached into her bag, taking out her post-it notes she took out each morning to leave it on the desk that belonged to the boy she liked.

her heart was pounding out of her chest as she thought back to the words that’d been stuck in her late night thoughts. just simple words really.

┌── •✧• ──┐

hey sunghoon, how are you today?

if this is awkward, i’m sorry. don’t

give up when the time gets hard!

i’m always rooting for you! :)

— 0307

└── •✧• ──┘

she bit her lips in doubt. “should i stop with the notes..?” she mumbled.

it was her senior year, her last year to make memories and not regret a single thing. high school was ending in just four months for her, so she shouldn’t regret this, right? for the past few months, she had been leaving encouraging words on his desk as a way of confiding in her feelings.

before she could debate any further, rowdy noises were heard from the hallway — catching her attention that the boys were nearby. she was part of their friend group, along with her other three friends; but that didn’t mean they had to know about her crush on sunghoon.

shakily, her hands quickly placed the sticky note on his desk before she rushed out.

“hey y/n!” jay yelled out at the end of the hallway.

the girl turned back in a flash, not forgetting to hide away her neutral colored notes that would’ve been obvious. her eyes trailed to each boy in a second, leaving a lingering gaze on hoon, the boy that gave her butterflies.

“hi jay,” she beamed back.

“what were you doing in ms. lee’s class?” jake added in with an eyebrow raise.

she took a gulp as she cleared her throat. composing herself, she replied — “uhm i’m just looking for your bestie.” an awkward chuckle erupted from her as she pointed to heeseung.

he beamed a worried/confused look back at her. “min-su?“ the male shoved his hands into his jean pockets as the rest of the group looked at him.

“yep! i could never find that girl in the morning,” she uttered.

eventually, he nodded in agreement before replying — “i was just with her before going down the hallway with them. she’s in the classroom not too far from you.”

y/n nodded as if she was actually looking for her. “oh i see, thanks heeseung!” she swiftly moved past the rest of the members, blocking out the mumbles that left their mouths. one, however, getting through her ears as she could hear jake’s loud booming voice call out — “tell my girlfriend i’ll wait for her after class, yeah?”

as she left, the enhypen members chuckled to themselves before getting inside of the class. not all of them belonged in there, but most did so it was their go-to spot.

when sunghoon reached to his seat, his hand stopped to trail at the sticky note. “another one?” he said under his breath.

“another one again?” jake questioned aloud, catching everyone else’s attention.

the taller boy stiffly chuckled as he nodded. “wonder who this is..” he scanned around the room for the possible culprit, only to be dumbfounded with the answer as he found various students in their own worlds.

“still haven’t found out who it is?” jungwon asked, pursing his bottom lip out to showcase his dimples.

sunghoon nodded his head no as his cheeks started to take form of a blushing pink. “aww look, he’s starting to get a crush on the stalker.” jay teased with his shit eating grin.

hoon rolled his eyes as a response. “shut up, it’s creepy that they keep doing this.”

the group lightly chuckled together. “maybe the girls/dae know?” sunoo chimed in.

sunghoon’s head automatically peaked up at the mention of them. “the girls?”

“aye come on now, i’m sure hoon, here, doesn’t want his crush to know that he’s been receiving love letters. it might throw off what they have.” heeseung intervened with a smile.

“you still haven’t told her??” the youngest, niki, said with an eye roll.

“i’ve been trying to work on it!”

the maknae started snorting out laughter in return as he laughed with his whole body. “at this point, you’re not even gonna be able to tell her before the school year ends.”

“i’m doing what i can! she’s just.. really pretty.” hoon murmured in embarrassment.

“come on, y/n’s definitely not gonna like how you are with how shy you sound.” jake said with a click to the tongue.

the 5’11 boy shook his head as humiliation started to take over in his blushing cheeks. jay took notice and nudged his head — “we get it, you like her. let’s just ask them later, maybe y/n will get jealous and say something since sunghoon won’t.”

a few protests from the latter were made before the bell rang. some members scattered away as the rest began to take their seats.

within the same time frame of the boys conversing, y/n made it to her friend group a few classrooms down after leaving suspicions behind.

her breath heavily panted as she approached the three people she admired most. “hey guys,” she spoke with an exhale of air.

“did you just run the mile or something? why are you so out of breath?” dae questioned with his one brow raised.

“shut up,” she took another breath. “you know i’m always late.” but she wasn’t. the girl always arrived earlier than the rest to leave the post-its on his desk. her love notes toward sunghoon had been kept a secret from her closest friends as she couldn’t have it in herself to confess such an embarrassing thing.

“heeseung texted that you were looking for me?” min-su perked up.

“oh yeah, just looking for you guys cause you guys weren’t at the usual spot.” y/n lied, still taking deep breaths. “also, jake said he’ll wait for you after class.” her head nodded towards the boy’s girlfriend.

ji-woo furrowed her brows at the first few words that had spewed out of her. “uh girl, we’ve been coming here for the past few days.”

y/n’s body quickly tensed as she felt her hands go numb. “oh yeah… uhm, i just forgot.”

the three people exchanged her the same look of confusion before dae excused it. “okay anyway, so you saw the boys, that means you saw sunghoon right?” he had a mischievous grin on his face so that y/n could get what he meant.

in return, she rolled her eyes and lightly laughed. “yeah.. but you know i can’t talk to him anyway. i did see jungwon though.”

dae’s face contorted into disgust while his heart was thumping out of his chest — “jungwon?? why would i care about him?”

“he may be your academic rival, but we all know you guys like each other.” ji-woo chimed in

the two girls nodded in agreement as heeseung’s best friend spoke, “mhm, we always see it whenever we hang out anyway” — referring back to the big group hangouts.

“whatever! what we have going on isn’t important right now.” dae huffed out with a sigh.

the girls giggled with each other before the bell could ring. in a rush, dae and ji-woo situated themselves to their seats while min-su and y/n scurried out to their own classrooms.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

when lunch came, the enhypen members and the girls (plus dae) met together in their usual spot. it was a big group, yes, but everyone was comfortable with each other. ji-woo and jake were dating, heeseung and min-su were best friends — having their own situationship, and jungwon and dae were academic rivals who remained to be in the same friend group. y/n and sunghoon were mutuals, not close with how introverted they were but just friends. they each had their own dynamic going on, creating a stronger bond within the group.

“the lunch is kind of good today..” ji-woo mumbled as she took a bite of her rice.

the group looked at her before letting quiet giggles fill their circle of people. “what??” she added on.

jake smiled at her, placing a soft peck on the cheek as he said, “nothing, just keep eating love.”

“ew, we’re eating right now. could you not?” min-su cringed.

“shut up! just go back to eating,” ji-woo retorted back to her.

a few, scattered chuckles were heard from the group as they went back to doing their own thing.

“you okay there, y/n?” jay asked with a mouthful of meat. he gave a light nudge to the girl as she went out of her spaced out daze. sunghoon’s gaze turned to the two, closely observing her body language.

“what? oh yeah, just tired.” she mumbled, giving an awkward grin to him.

he gave a soft scoff — “that sounded so fake coming from you.” y/n’s jaw dropped as she smacked him on the shoulder.

“shut up, it’s true! it’s just.. really hard to get up early in the mornings.” she truthfully spoke

“girl you don’t even come that early,” dae intervened with an eyebrow raise.

her eyes widened, awkwardly laughing it off as she said, “yeah but i still have to wake up early to drive to school! you know how it is with school traffic and all…”

dae slowly nodded his head, squinting his eyes before eventually giving up to agree with her.

“speaking of morning,” niki paused. “sunghoon got a sticky note on his desk again. you guys know who it is?”

hoon quickly trailed his eyes to y/n, giving her a look that screamed something along the lines of ‘i like you, not this creepy person.’ but she couldn’t bother to return the gaze as her head was low in humiliation.

“same person again?” min-su asked.

the boys nodded in unison. “yeah, they keep bothering him.” sunoo said while biting down on his spoon.

“any person you guys can think of?” jungwon chirped up.

y/n’s three closest friends exchanged a worried look at her, all having the same thought that she shouldn’t be hearing this because it might be breaking her heart. but they didn’t know that the culprit was her, so she tried to beam a smile to show that she was okay with hearing her crush receive love letters.

“it’s a little pathetic that they can’t even confess to me. doing it through a note seems kind of sad.. and desperate.” sunghoon suddenly added his thought. again, he slowly dawdled his eyes towards the girl but she didn’t even look at him. she couldn’t. those words caused a striking pain to the heart. he was trying to divert the potential thought she could’ve been having of if he liked the anonymous person or not. but he only made it worse.

she harshly bit her lips, pleading for no tears to show in her eyes as she looked around to distract herself. nobody noticed, or at least she felt like nobody noticed.

“i do admire their courage to put it on my desk though..” he shyly said with a blush to the ears. the words were a little comforting at least, but it wasn’t enough to make her feel better. his choice of words from before were still ringing in her ears as she felt her world crumbling down.

“that’s a little mean sunghoon…” ji-woo commented with an appalled look. “what if the person just can’t confess to you because they’re scared you might act the way you are right now?”

the boy’s eyes widened as he felt humiliation start to heat up in his cheeks. “that’s not what i meant..”

“yeah love, it’s just a little creepy that they keep sending him sticky notes.” jake explained, handing her the note so the rest of the group could see.

min-su, ji-woo, dae, and the girl who was trying to hold back her tears gathered around the note.

‘0307… those numbers look familiar..’ the three thought in their head. y/n shifted her eyes from the left to the right before she snatched the note in her hands. “no yeah, jake’s right, it is a little creepy. they should stop,” she said with a quiet sniffle.

“right, thank you y/n.”

her friends looked at her after she spoke, eyes laced with concern as they didn’t know how she was taking it — mad? jealous? upset? weirded out as well? they felt troublesome for the girl that this note from an anonymous sender was bothering her.

“mhm,” she confirmed back to jake with a firm head nod. “now excuse me, i gotta pee.” the girl got up with shaky legs as her breath hitched from the cry she forced down in her throat.

when she got to the bathroom, she breathed hard and heavy with her hands on the wall to stabilize herself. “that was humbling,” she mumbled to herself, feeling wet tears softly stain her cheeks.

“i’ll stop the notes then…” y/n confirmed with a heavy heart. her vision was blurry with the tears that remained in her eyes as she felt burdensome with the fact that sunghoon had just confirmed her way of confession to be weird. a few sniffles of the nose were made before she left the bathroom and returned to the group.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

months had gone by and senior year was reaching the end for the group. it was just finals left, and graduation would soon hit them.

within the time that passed, y/n avoided sunghoon in every possible way. he’d try to talk to her in the hallway? she’d pretend her airpods were too loud. he’d ask her about her day? she’d nod and mumble “it’s fine.” he’d try to sit with her at lunch? she’d move and find a spot next to min-su.

the girl honestly didn’t meant to come off as rude, but cutting off any contact with him meant that she’d be able to get over him much easier. her heart just tore apart from having to see him too often in the friend group that she distanced herself away from him. plus, they were never really that close to begin with so what would even have made the difference?

sunghoon, on the other hand, was left confused. from what he could recall, he didn’t do anything wrong. and to add on, no sticky notes were on his desk anymore. he didn’t know if the person just felt the need to stop but they did. however, even with all of his doubt, he still wished it was his favorite girl behind it.

he always felt his heart beating at the thought that it could’ve potentially been y/n. to give in to the thought that she possibly liked him back meant butterflies in his stomach. ‘but that’s pathetic’ — he’d think to himself, rationalizing that the girl had better things than him going on. like college; more specifically, a college outside of their hometown.

y/n got into the college of her dreams and sunghoon couldn’t have been happier as he remembered each time he’d observe from afar, watching her stress about each class but still managing farther than expected. he was proud. he knew the girl that he couldn’t call his would get in, but what did that mean for him?

“last day of school, this feels so sad.” ji-woo pouted with her bottom lip out.

“i don’t know whether to feel happy or sad to be honest.” dae chimed in

“hey you got to be with jungwon after all though, that’s good isn’t it?” y/n acknowledged with a soft grin.

the boy furiously shook his head to agree as he exclaimed — “it definitely is!” everyone giggled at the same time before he added on, “what about you, y/n? still a no with you and sunghoon?”

her lips pursed together as she nodded her head ‘no.’ “it’s best that i don’t confess, we’re already done with school and i’ll be parting soon anyway. he’s just a high school crush..” she tried to excuse with a smile.

“you and sunghoon are literally soulmates! you guys should’ve been dating already, jake and i strongly agreed on that.” said ji-woo with a clear scoff in her throat.

“well we’re not so.. but anyway, enough about me, min-su and heeseung are finally together after being best friends for god-knows how long!” y/n strongly shook the girl she had just mentioned to congratulate her.

“my hee and i are dating now, best believe it!” she exclaimed.

the group erupted in laughter as they continued through other topics.

“i’m gonna miss this, you know? the four of us together in one place. i’m gonna miss you losers,” y/n spoke with a shaky voice.

“shut up! you’re gonna make me cry!” ji-woo hollered from her seat.

the other two agreed as everyone’s eyes quickly watered. “i’m serious, i’m gonna miss this so much when i leave.” she confirmed, shaking her head to leave the tears behind. “once graduation happens, we’ll only have just a few weeks left.”

“BITCH shut up right now!” min-su yelled as she let tears run down her cheeks.

dae sniffled with a hint of red around his eyelids as he said, “you guys are gonna make me cry now!”

the group gathered into a hug as they let out soft sobs together. their last day of school was already an emotional train wreck.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

the dreaded day had finally arrived. graduation came too soon before they could even process it.

as the principal was giving their speech, y/n sat in the front stands with her friends and the enhypen members. of course, she made sure to sit far from sunghoon — causing him to sit in the second row while she sat in the first row.

after getting her high school diploma, she sat down near her sobbing friends.

“park sunghoon,” the school staff announced.

her heart lit up with a shock at the name. she watched him go up to the stage and take hold of the paper in his hands. he beamed a bright and sweet smile toward the amidst of the crowd. she felt her heart softened as her eyes watered.

‘this is it,’ y/n thought to herself while taking a deep breath. ‘this is the last time i’ll ever see him at a school campus. the place where i fell in love with him.’

without even realizing, tears had fallen down her cheeks as she still watched him walk down the stage. once she took another breath of air, she felt her heart tear while a heavy weight had lifted off of her shoulders.

sunghoon’s eyes scanned around the stadium before letting it go to her. his demeanor softened and all he wanted to do was hug her goodbye. he knew it himself that she was leaving, and he didn’t want her to go. to him, she was his first love. even if they weren’t together and she was avoiding him, he could feel the mutual bond for their open-ended closure. the glance he gave to her was everything they both needed.

as the graduation continued, each member received their diploma as well. and with that, they graduated. the group had gone through everything together in their years of high school, and this was their ending. all that was left was their goodbye to the people who were leaving for college.

so when the time came, y/n was the first to go. she found it better to leave first so she could get over sunghoon quicker, and also not have a hard time with goodbyes to the others. she was only leaving for summer school but found it better to transition to the fall quarter right away — leaving no time to come back home in the time between.

the others were leaving too, but just at a much later time. ji-woo would head off in about two months, staying in a long distance relationship with jake. jungwon and dae were going to the same college together outside of their hometown in about a month; while min-su and heeseung were going to the same college as well but just in their hometown.

jay was leaving around the same time as ji-woo. sunghoon, sunoo, and niki would be going to the same college as min-su and heeseung.

with y/n being the first to go, a hangout was thrown in her favor on the day of. tears and weeping goodbyes could only be unfolded as they weren’t ready to see her leave. sunghoon especially. he tried to hold back his verge of tears, but he couldn’t, knowing that he was about to let his first love go.

when the time came and her family was parked outside, everyone couldn’t stop holding onto the girl.

“why do you have to go so early? you just hate us huh?” ji-woo incoherently mumbled through her sobs.

y/n gave a chuckle at her words — “i had to.” but she honestly didn’t have to. she was just leaving to make things easier on herself and everyone else.

“guess it’s time to go..” she murmured to everyone.

she hugged each person goodbye as she felt her hands tremble. it was a new beginning she was about to embark on, and she didn’t know how she’d be able to do it without them.

“goodbye min-su, i’ll miss you so much..” y/n flung her arms around the girl as she let tears drop.

“you bitch, why do you have to go?” min-su rhetorically asked, shaking her.

her lips curled into a smile as she moved onto dae. “goodbye dae, have fun with jungwon in college..” she mumbled while holding him into a tight embrace.

“don’t go, y/n!” he yelled, causing a laugh to be erupted from her.

the girl let go of him to move onto ji-woo. “goodbye ji-woo, i know you’ll do great in college.” she whispered against her ears.

“i’m gonna take you back with me, i swear.” jake’s girlfriend threatened back.

“shut up,” y/n uttered to her.

she then gave a hug to each enhypen member, letting them whisper sweet encouragements in her ear. sunghoon was the last, of course he was. he patiently waited for the girl to make her round as he felt thrilled to hug her but also heartbroken that it’d be their first and last hug.

after hugging niki, she finally reached him. her lips coiled into a soft smile as her eyes began to water.

“sunghoon..” she exhaled a heavy breath of hers. “i’ll miss you.”

y/n slowly let her arms wrap around his neck as his hands reached toward her waist. he groaned out a hurtful sigh as he reeled in her embrace. he was gonna miss this, miss her.

as he laid his head on her shoulder, she heard him give soft sniffles against her hair. “you’re leaving so early,” he softly joked.

they pulled away at the same time and she watched him light up with a half smile.

“can you give me your hand?” her hand reached out for his and he hesitantly gave it. when he felt their hands touch, his heart stopped for a second before rapidly picking up again.

in seconds, his hands were met with a papered texture. when he peaked his eyes open, his mouth opened in shock. it was the neutral-colored sticky notes he always received from the secret admirer.

before he could speak, she did it first — “it was me, funny huh?” she formed her lips into a line and lightly chuckled at his reaction. his eyes stared into hers as he felt quite lost and confused. everything in his ears were deafening out with each second he processed that it was her.

the group stayed quiet as they mirrored his expression. there were many words they could say but they couldn’t quite grasp onto it with how she had just revealed that it was her.

when y/n was about to say something herself, a honking from the car was heard — hinting that she needed to go.

“it’s time..”

her hand that held onto his lingered for a little more, praying that he’d hold her back or say something to confess. just do anything to show that he liked her back for that little figment of hope she had left. but he didn’t, so she walked away.

y/n waved goodbye to everyone and soon enough, her presence was gone and would be making its way to another hometown.

sunghoon froze in his place, feeling like his feet were glued to the ground as he replayed the words he said that made her stop sending the notes he secretly loved. he smacked his hand to his head as he knew things had now changed, only to realize that the last post-it note she gave were still in his hands.

┌── •✧• ──┐

surprise, sunghoon! sorry for being

so creepy, i didn’t know how to do

this, but have fun in college. i’ll always

be cheering for you from afar! this is

probably a little pathetic huh? lol :)

sorry if i made you uncomfortable,

but be safe :)

— y/n <3

└── •✧• ──┘

sunghoon’s heart shattered. he felt like such an idiot with how he treated the notes. he wished she was still here, he wished he confessed, he wished they had gotten together with how they liked each other. but he was too late. of course he was, because now, she was gone and he couldn’t do anything else. but after all, how could he hope for something that could’ve never been possible in the first place?

the relationship had been left with unsaid words that they couldn’t express to each other, and nothing could save it.

his hand crumbled up into a fist with how frustrated he got with himself. “fucking idiot,” he whispered.

“you really didn’t know?” dae asked with an eyebrow raise while placing himself near jungwon.

sunghoon only shook his head as he bit his lip, letting tears drop in a rush of seconds. “i’m late aren’t i?” he said, chuckling at his rhetorical question.

“afraid so hoon..” min-su confirmed, taking heeseung’s hand in hers afterwards.

his fist soon opened and found something scribbled on the back.

┌── •✧• ──┐

i love you sunghoon, but you’re

not mine.

└── •✧• ──┘

★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★

[rowretro]

ℂ𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 ℂ𝕚𝕘𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕤

✧warnings: F-boy Sunghoon so mentions of sex ig, may be a lil suggestive, possessive hoon

❁synopsis: The campus hottie, was practically perfect, smart handsome talented and rumour has it among the girls, good in bed. The male is a fuck boy, a jerk face, never once wanted to fall in love after having his heart broken once by an unlucky bitch. Heck he believed he'd be like that forever, until he came across the new girl. Yang y/n.

✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧

✧❁PART 1/???❁✧

"Oh my god you slept with him?!" one of the girls exclaimed as the other girls had their shocked reactions too "Yeah... then he broke up with me" the girl admitted "Isn't Sunghoon a fuck boy though? girl why'd you date him he doesn't even hide the fact he doesn't love you?" another girl pointed out "It doesn't matter, at least I had a great night" the girl said shrugging as the others laughed it off.

Y/n fiddled with her phone as she waited outside the classroom, one earphone in, hidden by her hair. She's heard many crazy things about this high school, having been transferred from a school in UK where she was used to everything, to a high school in South Korea. Everything is so new there, education system, driving on the different side of the road. but she had her best friend, Danielle by her side.

"Hey it's going to be ok" the girl reassured. One thing y/n is glad about, is the fact that she's fluent in Korean so language will not be a big problem for her. She smiles at Danielle as she follows her in. The teacher asks her to introduce herself as the girl blinks, staring at the class in disbelief. Introduce? first day and she has to speak in front of all these judgemental 18 year old strangers?!

"I'm y/n..." she says, forcing a smiled, the teacher points at an empty seat which was sadly not next Danielle. Making a sad pouty face at Danielle, she sat at the seat. 17 minutes. That's how long it took "Park Sunghoon late again?!" The teacher scolded as the male scratched his head then he froze. His eyes on y/n.

The girl's jaw rested in her palm as she doodled in the margin, false lashes fluttering against her glasses, her lips stained with a rosy, nude shade. Fuck she's everything. Is this what cupid felt when he saw psyche? love at first sight like Romeo experienced with Juliet? Sunghoon was captivated.

He slammed his palm on the desk of the person beside y/n. The girl didn't even flinch and probably didn't care due to the earphone blasting Itzy in her left ear. the student sitting beside her immediately got up and went to a different seat as Sunghoon slipped into the seat beside the girl. he turned to her, tapping her shoulder. the girl paused her music turning to him.

So this is Park Sunghoon, the handsome fuckboy they say. Y/n knew he was bad news "Im Sunghoon... and you?" the male asked "Not interested" she said, turning back to do her work "Come on baby, don't be like that" he said, winking as she sighed, looking at him. She then turned back and ignored him, doodling.

"Wah you can draw- that looks so realistic gurl" he complimented as the girl groaned, slamming her head on the desk. "Park Sunghoon stop distracting the new girl and get on with your work. or you can switch spaces with Eunchae!" the teacher warned as Sunghoon groaned, picking up his pencil.

2 lessons passed by and break time rolled in, she smiled, sorta running over to Danielle with grabby hands. they jumped up and down squealing like typical girls as their fingers intertwined. "I can't believe we're finally in the same schooool!" Danielle squealed as y/n smiled. "I know right?! we can finally do typical bestie stuff get our nails done, do each other's makeup, gossip, and hang out~" y/n added with a smile.

"All of this and I don't hear boyfriend... i'm assuming it's because you have one?" Sunghoon asked with a raised eyebrow as the girl sighed "No I don't never had one and never will... I don't like the idea of putting all my trust in a guy." She said, in a slight passive aggressive manner. "Ok but I'm telling you, a pretty girl like you NEEDS to end up with a trust worthy guy like me" Sunghoon said.

Y/n gave him the 'be for real' look as she rolled her eyes, walking away with Danielle. "So stupid. He really thinks I'm going to let him get in my skirt?!" y/n scoffed, handing danielle a cherry lollipop as she sucked on her own. "Please. He can't flirt for shit, and just yesterday he had two girlfriends whom he dumped back to back." Danielle added as Y/n shook her head, disappointed. Sunghoon having over heard all this, decided it was time to stop playing girls like a gameboy, and pursue his princess.

✧❁PART 2❁✧

[asdfghjklmals]

Hii :)

I absolutely lovee your writings I've read each of them like 98688 times :)))

You asked for ideas so I thought maybe a fic that reader and satoru and the whole gang are still in school but they're not dating yet and reader and shoko are really close friends and satoru gets kinda jealous cause shoko hugs reader all the time and idk kiss her on chick or smth and satoru wishes he had the courage to do that????

Idk if you fell like it and were comfortable:))))

Thankss <3

THE COURAGE TO TRY✩༶‧˚

GENRE + T/W: sfw, fluff. WORD COUNT: 1.6k words. TAGS: satoru gojo x fem!oc. lovesick!gojo, a lil' jealous!gojo. bestie!suguru does what he does best and instigates for these two. one sided pining, but iykyk.

SYNOPSIS: satoru wishes he could be more than just friends with oc gojo girlfriend. AUTHOR'S NOTE: the first request to my milestone event (click here for more info). 💚 pre-dating oc gojo girlfriend and satoru, which i have a soft spot for hehehe. this is right after 'sleeping with the enemy', so click here to read it before you read this fic! REMINDER: if you want to imagine yourself in oc gojo girlfriend's character descriptions instead, please do!

“are you going to blink any time soon?” suguru asked his bestfriend, waving in front of his face, "—earth to satoru?"

“huh.” satoru grumbled in annoyance. “what are you talking about?”

in case you overheard, suguru whispered in satoru’s ear to save him from his own embarrassment, “i’m talking about how you haven’t taken your eyes off of (y/n) all day. you’re starting to look like a creep.”

satoru pushed him away as his face turned bright red, “oh, shut up, suguru!”

the two sorcerers watched from the other end of the classroom as you and shoko were practicing your reversed cursed techniques together. he saw shoko jumping up and down with joy, hugging you tightly, probably excited that you were starting to hone in on your skills. a twinge of jealously jabbed at the white haired sorcerer.

suguru started to pry, “are you and (y/n) going to have another sleepover tonight?”

“suguru, get to the point. what the hell do you want?” satoru snapped in annoyance.

“oh come on, you know for a fact that everyone including our muscle-brained sensei, knows that you have been sneaking into (y/n)’s dorm room at night—not to mention past curfew.” suguru sighed at how oblivious satoru thought he was. suguru was smarter than that. "everyone just wants to know if you two are dating yet!"

satoru’s flush of red in his cheeks did not fade away, instead he just got redder and redder the more his bestfriend talked about the two of you possibly becoming a couple.

suguru curiously asked, “how long as this been going on for?”

satoru gritted his teeth and sighed, “ever since we got back from our mission together.”

“are you guys—”

satoru quickly interrupted his bestfriend before he said anything else to embarrass him further, “i only go to her room to sleep—for some reason, i sleep better when i’m with her. i think it’s her custom futon.”

it wasn’t your custom futon at all. it was the comfort of your presence.

suguru knew that satoru had a difficult time sleeping ever since he started attending jujutsu high. satoru was the type of person to doze off for a couple hours here and there, but never got any actual decent rem cycle sleep. satoru was the total opposite of you. you needed well over 8 hours of sleep to function as a normal (and kind) human being. the first thing that sashisu learned about you was not to wake you up in the mornings. the two guys left shoko with that job when needed.

“sure, whatever you say, satoru.” suguru smiled, his eyes disappearing behind his sly grin, “so, you and (y/n) are…?”

satoru scoffed at his bestfriend’s bold assumption, “—we are just friends.”

there was no way in hell he was going to admit that he liked you without knowing if you liked him back.

suguru folded his arms, annoyed that he wasn’t going to get an answer out of his bestfriend, “uh huh, right—friends do not cuddle each other to sleep.”

satoru started to list actions that friends can totally do together, “well, shoko and (y/n) always have sleepovers, they hug and loop their arms together when they walk—and they’re just friends.”

suguru stated very clearly, “shoko doesn’t give (y/n) an arm pillow every night. and she doesn’t cuddle her just to be able to get some sleep either.”

“well, shoko hugs (y/n) and holds her hand. i don’t get to do that.” satoru barked back.

“you know, satoru… it’s starting to sound like you’re jealous of shoko.” suguru laughed, realizing that satoru definitely wanted to be more than just friends with you.

satoru shot a death glare at suguru, “—am not!”

later that night

“what did you and shoko do during class today?” satoru asked as he watched you brush your hair in your bathroom.

you hummed, “hmmm, shoko gave me some pointers on how to control my cursed energy so i could focus it into reversed cursed energy.”

“oh…” satoru mumbled, “i could’ve helped you with that.” he would never admit that he was jealous of his other bestfriend, shoko ieiri. he wondered what favors he'd have to do for yaga-sensei in order to get paired up with you for a mission again.

you giggled, “satoru, you can’t even heal yourself yet. how could you have helped me?”

“i would’ve found a way.” satoru said, dissatisfaction in his tone. he would have to get stronger and figure out this reversed cursed technique bullshit if he wanted you to stay by his side. he folded his arms across his chest as he sat in your bed, waiting for you to turn off the lights so he could sleep.

you took one last look in your bathroom mirror before turning off your bathroom light. you hopped onto your bed and crawled towards satoru. as you sat down next to him, you noticed that his face was turning pink, ears heating up to a crimson red—he was avoiding all eye contact with you.

“arm pillow, please.” you called out to him with a smile, ignoring his blushing face. you wondered what had gotten into him today.

he laid back and rested his head on your pillow, laying out his right arm for you. you nuzzled in between his chest and bicep. you turned to face him, his arm curling down your back.

“are you sure your arm doesn’t hurt at night?” you asked, patting his chest softly. he always teased you about waking up with a dead arm in the mornings.

“i’m sure.” satoru said softly, “i’m used to it.”

you lifted your head from his arm and glared at him, “used to it? do you give other girls arm pillows too or something?”

satoru rolled his eyes at you, removing his hand from your back to ruffle your neatly brushed hair.

“no, (y/n). you’re the only one.” he reluctantly admitted, “your big head is the only one to lay on my arm.”

you rolled your eyes before you gave him a self-satisfied smirk, attaching your head to his right arm again. that satoru gojo and his interesting way of flirting he always used to try to charm you. you wrapped your arm around his torso, holding him close to you.

the past week that satoru had spent sleeping next to you, he picked up on your interesting sleeping habits: you were usually the first to fall asleep between the two of you. you were a light sleeper. you preferred to sleep on your side (or on your stomach when you’re not curled up next to him). you grind your teeth in your sleep when you’re stressed (he found that out during your mission together). you snore when you’re exhausted (but you argue that you don’t). and lastly, whenever he would move away from you, you would always pull him back towards you.

within 5 minutes of shutting your eyes, you were out cold. satoru could tell by the way your breathing steadied and the way your cursed energy looked to his six eyes. a calm blue hue is what cursed energy looked like at a peaceful resting state.

tonight, satoru’s heart would not stop racing no matter how hard he tried to regulate his breathing. he thought he got used to sleeping next to you every night for the past week, but he was wrong. his thoughts about his feelings towards you was tormenting him inside.

satoru wished that he had the courage to try to be more upfront with you about his feelings. he wished that he could confidently hold your hand so that everyone knew you were his. he wished that he could hug you just because he wanted to. he wished that he could kiss you in hopes that you would kiss him back. this fear of not knowing how you felt about him crippled him.

how could the strongest sorcerer feel so weak in your presence?

he tilted his head towards yours. the scent of your orange hibiscus shampoo lingered in your hair, your head resting just below his chin. he slumped further down on your bed, trying his best not to move your ‘arm pillow’. like clockwork, he felt you unconsciously pull him back towards your body. satoru hoped that he wouldn't wake you up by all the moving around he was doing.

he sighed before he turned to face you. your lashes fluttering against the top of your cheek as he watched you inhale and exhale in your slumber.

how could one person look so beautiful while sleeping? this was so damn unfair.

satoru’s heart skipped a beat. was he really going to attempt to kiss you? hell, he was going to take a risk. he took a deep breath before leaning in to press a feather-light kiss on your forehead and then on the top of your head. the foreign feeling made you furrow your eyebrows in your sleep. he hoped that his pathetic attempt at a kiss wouldn’t wake you up. he wouldn’t know how to explain this to you if you woke up right this instance. he stroked your cheek with his palm before you immediately fell back into your sweet dream for the night.

and it was in that moment that satoru gojo hoped that one day, you could be his and all he dreamed of too.

EXTRA:

“was my hair all over the place or something last night?” you asked satoru as you watched him change out of his pajamas to throw on his school uniform.

satoru thought back to last night when he kissed your forehead and immediately blushed. he feigned ignorance, “not that i remember. why...?”

you connected your thumb and index finger to your chin. “hmmm, i swear i felt something tickling my forehead.”

satoru couldn’t hide his mischievous grin, “tickling your forehead, huh? i wonder what it could’ve been.”

© 2023 ASDFGHJKLMALS — ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PLEASE DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, OR REPOST MY WORK.

DIVIDERS PROVIDED BY @/ANLIAN-AISHANG

[whispering-ways]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡ i like you (too much) - part 1 ♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

♡ summary: you just joined a new high school and you're hoping to make a bunch of new friends. unfortunately, you're paired up with katsuki and he seems to despise you. nevertheless, you're determined to make it work. little do you know that you're first interaction would lead to a wonderful friendship and possibly even more.

♡ pairing: bakugo katsuki x reader

♡ tags: no warnings, just fluff :) but the next couple of parts may or may not have some smut ;)

♡ notes: hi besties! I'm back finally with another fanfic after months. I'm so sorry for my hiatus, but I've been super busy with college. I'm graduating in literally in 5 days which is so exciting (neurosci and psychology BS) and also been working on a patent and been doing patient trials in the neurosci lab I volunteer at and been applying for grad programs, so its been a lot. but I'm back with a new (long) Katsuki fic now that things have finally settled! Really this was a story with my OCs, Drew and Kressie (names still yet to be confirmed but that's what I've got for now) but I thought this would still work with Bakugo. Let me know if y'all want me to post the OC version too :) hope you guys like it!

As you sit in the principal’s office with your parents, you start to drown out the principal’s monotonous voice. All you cared about in the moment was how you would fit in. Middle school had been terrible; a journey chocked full of bullies and spending lunches alone. So when your parents told you that the 3 of you were moving to a new state for your dad’s fancy new job, you thought this was your chance to wipe the slate clean. Start afresh and make some friends this time around. You’d been excited for weeks, but now sitting here about to start your first day, you felt your stomach churn with anxiety. 

The principal calling your name brought you back to reality. “So Y/N are you ready to start your first day? I know it’ll be halfway through your periods, but still your first day if you think about it!” 

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” you replied, picking up your backpack. 

“I’ll take you to your new classroom,” said the principal, standing up and opening the door for you, gesturing you to follow him. After saying goodbye to your parents, you head outside the office with a big sigh, readying yourself. It felt like forever before you reached your classroom. Your principal knocked on the door and stuck his head inside. You heard him say something to the teacher inside, but couldn’t quite make out what. She came out a couple moments afterward and the principal left you in her hands. A short introduction later, she brought you inside to the front of the class.

“Hey everyone, I’m sorry to interrupt you all in the middle of quiet work time, but we’ve got a new student. This is (Y/N) and she’ll be in our class from now on,” she said with a big smile on her face; it was almost too cheery. “I’m hoping since you only came in a week late, it won’t be too hard to catch up with the class.” She scanned around the classroom before continuing, “Looks like we’ll have to place you in the back with Katsuki. We share one big desk between students, so I hope that’s okay with you.” You nod and the teacher turns towards her desk, reaching down to grab a packet. “Here’s what we’re working on right now; answer as best as you can and don’t worry about getting questions wrong. You’ll be sitting right over there,” pointing to the back.

You look toward where she gestured to find a guy in a black hoodie, his eyes covered by his hood and lip curled in disdain. “Fantastic,” you thought, taking the packet from your teacher’s hand. “It’d be my luck to be put right next to someone that looks like they’d kill.” You plop down in your seat and look towards your new deskmate, smiling at him as an olive branch. Maybe he was super nice and just didn’t know how to show it. 

He looked at you up and down, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as if he was wondering why you’d even dare to look over. With a sigh, you turn back around and start to work on your packet. You wouldn’t consider yourself super smart, but definitely above average. But ‘above average’ wasn’t going to cut it for this packet. You chose to take Calculus to challenge you and to look better on college applications, but looking at the work in front of you, you regretted your decision. This stuff was just way too complicated, but you were determined to figure it out. 

You look over at Katsuki to see whether he’s struggling too for some sort of comfort. To your disappointment, you see him flying through the work, his head practically buried in the packet. You tried again to work through the first problem. “Find the derivative of the following function...what even is a derivative?” you thought to yourself. You pulled out your phone, hoping to try and find some sort of video to explain what was going on when you felt a tap on your shoulder. 

You turned around to find your teacher smiling at you once again. “Hey (Y/N), I hope the packet is going good, but in this classroom we don’t use phones to search up answers. If you’re having trouble, why don’t you ask your deskmate to help you out? I’m sure Katsuki would love to help you out!” 

You slipped your phone back into your pocket, giving your teacher a tight-lipped smile in return. “Out of all people, why did I get paired with him,” you pleaded internally. After a few moments, you give up and decide to ask Katsuki for help. “Hey, uh... would you mind helping me out with this question please?” No response. You cleared your throat, hoping to draw attention to your request. Nothing, nada, zilch. It’s then that you noticed he had some earbuds in. “Maybe he really just couldn’t hear me,” you thought. A few moments of contemplation later lead you to tapping his shoulder, hoping to finally get his attention.

He whipped his head around, giving you the chance to get a good look at his face. The first thing you noticed were his eyes. His eyes were red, probably because of contacts, and were coupled with dark circles; it looked like he hadn’t had sleep in weeks. You were finally able to see his hair peeking out from under his hood which had been messily bleached blonde with brown roots growing out. His lips were still in a snarl. “What do you want?” he asked, spitting out each word with anger. “Don’t you know when people are trying to ignore you?”

A hit and a miss. There was no doubting it now; he definitely hated you. You hadn’t even been in the classroom for 20 minutes and your high school dreams of making friends were already coming crashing down. You were just about to reply when he snapped back at you “What? Just going to stare at me forever or something?” 

See, you were nice, but not nice enough to let that sort of behavior go by without saying anything. “What the fuck is your problem dude? I just wanted to ask you about derivatives. Damn, a bitch can’t even be curious about math anymore,” you retorted. You were hoping to put him in his place a little, but instead, you heard him chuckle. 

“Ok fine, I’ll help you out. I’ll admit, that was a little funny. But this doesn’t mean we’re all buddy buddy, okay? I just want you off my back.”

“Sure whatever gets me done with this packet,” you said, flipping through the pages of the problems till you found the one you were looking for. You pointed to the derivative question and said “Just explain this one to me and I’ll be out of your hair. I just don’t really know how to get started with it.”

With an annoyed sigh, Katsuki gets started on explaining it to you. “Okay so basically all you’ve got to do is just differentiate all 3 parts and then add it. Was that too hard for you to understand or something or did you finally get it?”

You didn’t want to say it, but you didn’t get it. What was differentiating? Subtracting? You had no clue. But you couldn’t admit that, not when he was acting so rude; you had way too much pride for that sort of confession. “Let’s say I didn’t get it. I totally did, but if I didn’t, would you be able to explain it more in depth?” you ask him, hoping he wouldn’t pick up on your lie.

Katsuki definitely picked it up. He wasn’t stupid. But he was dreading having to talk to you more. He wasn’t trying to make friends or talk to people and be all chit-chatty; all he wanted was to be left alone, but unfortunately, you didn’t seem to be picking up on that any time soon. He grabbed your sheet and put it right between you two. If you wanted a in-depth explanation, you were going to get one. Bit by bit, he explained every single step of the problem, dragging out each individual part unnecessarily. That’d teach you to bother him again. 

What he did not expect was the beaming smile you gave him in return. “Thank you so much! That actually helped a ton dude! See I knew you could be nice,” you say as you bring the packet back to your side to continue working on the next couple of problems. 

Your response threw him for a loop. Sure, Katsuki was confused over how he could seem nice, but what really had him was your smile. He could’ve sworn it was the sweetest smile he’d ever seen. Slightly crooked, but still shined like the sun. He turned around, pulling his hood down to cover the slight blush that had appeared on his face. He hated the feeling he had his stomach now and it was all your fault. He knew it was a bad idea to help you.

He dove into his work, trying not to focus on you. It felt like decades before the bell rang and people started packing up to move to their last period. Out of the corner of his eye, Katsuki saw you whip out a folded piece of paper, which opened up to reveal your schedule. He heard you sigh as he was packing up and he already knew what was coming. As soon as he came back up from zipping his backpack, he was met with your eyes looking at him and he knew you were about to bother him again. 

“Uh... so I’ve got my next period in room 2301, but I have no idea how to get there. I think its English Lit with Ms. Carlisle, but like we only have 10 minutes to get there and I don’t want to get lost. Do you mind just giving me some quick directions?” you ask.

He wanted to say no and tell you to get lost. But it seemed like his mouth betrayed him when he heard himself saying “Yeah ok, I”ll take you there.”

“Oh! I mean you don’t have to really take me to the room, but I appreciate it a lot!” you reply cheerily with another one of your smiles.

“Do her cheeks never hurt from all that smiling?” Katsuki thought to himself. “It’s whatever, I’m in the same class too so I don’t give a shit.” he said, standing up and slinging his bag over one shoulder.

He starts walking away and you take that as a sign to start walking or be left alone in the classroom. With a wave to your teacher, you speed up to catch up to him. It was a bit awkward walking beside him but not talking. You’d initiate some sort of conversation, but it looked like he was ready to bite your head off and you already felt like you were pushing it. 

Thankfully, Katsuki ended the awkward silence between you two, “So.... like, where did you move from?”

“From Florida, but not like city Florida, think like retirement home type of Florida. North Florida specifically.” you rambled, trying to fill up the silence between you for a bit longer. 

“Cool, so you’ve like seen gators and shit then?” he said, looking down towards you. It was then that he took notice of the height difference between the two of you. He wasn’t super tall by any means, but compared to you he felt like a giant. 

“I mean I’ve seen a couple snakes, gators... and a few lizards too! Nothing too scary though!” you say with a smile. He nodded in response and a silence settled over you two again. You started to rack your brain for something to say to keep the conversation going, when you suddenly felt a yank on your backpack.

“Don’t just fucking walk off, we’re here, English Lit,” Katsuki says, pulling you back to the front of the door after you’d walked right past it. 

“Oh! Thank you” you reply, holding the door open. “After you.”

Katsuki felt weird walking into class and it had nothing to do with the quiz the class had to do today. He walked over to his usual desk and felt you follow behind before sitting down right next to him. You put your bag down in your seat and walked over to the teacher, probably to go introduce yourself. It was obvious to Katsuki that he wasn’t getting rid of you or the weird feeling you gave him every time you smiled anytime soon. 

He was brought out of his thoughts by the sweetest laugh he had ever heard. He turned towards the source of the sound and he wasn’t surprised to see it came from you. It seemed like everything you did added to that weird feeling he felt in his stomach. He hated it. You sat back down next to him, syllabus in hand along with a couple of other forms for you to fill out. 

Class seemed to drag on forever for Katsuki. It took everything in him to focus on what the teacher was saying rather than how your eyebrows were furrowed in concentration and how you chewed your pencil from time to time and how you drew tiny little flowers and hearts on your notes whenever you got bored. The bell finally rang, releasing Katsuki from what seemed to be his own personal hell. He got up wordlessly to walk towards his car, ready to leave and go home. He made it a couple of paces outside of class before he felt a small tap on his arm. 

He turned around to see you looking up at him with big eyes. “Hey.. uhh.. Could I maybe get your number? We have to finish that packet by tomorrow’s class and I know there’s a good chance I could be confused again, so I was hoping to maybe get your help again?” you ask. 

How could he refuse those eyes? With a sigh, he held his phone out to you. You looked up at him quizzically. “Do I need to explain everything to you? Put your number in already. I’ll text you back so you can have mine” he snapped. 

You took his phone and typed in your number, saving your contact while you were at it. “There you go, all saved and everything,” you say. You couldn’t even fully finish your sentence before Katsuki snatched his phone out of your hands. 

“Well, it was nice meeting you Katsuki, but I’ve got to head to the buses soon. I think my bus is leaving in like literally 10 minutes. It was nice meeting you though and hope to see you tomorrow,” you say, running off to catch the bus before you were left without a ride.

“Nice to meet you too, I guess,” he whispered to himself. He hoped you didn’t hear it. He walked to his car, throwing his bag into the backseat and putting his head on the steering wheel. “What’s going on with me? Why is everything so weird all of a sudden?” he thought. He took his phone out from his hoodie, looking for your contact and, more importantly, to put a name to your face.

It wasn’t hard to find since it was the only contact that stuck out like a sore thumb. “Y/N..” he said, reading out your name. He noticed a small smiley face beside your name, a sweet detail that caused an unconscious smile to cross his lips. It didn’t take him long to notice and he immediately shook his head trying to drive his smile away. He put his head back on the wheel with a thud, letting out a frustrated groan. That weird and uneasy feeling in his stomach had come back again and he had a feeling it wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

[heterophobicdyke]

One of my aunties was raped and abused by her husband for decades, and when she tried to leave he stabbed the priest who helped her and threatened to kill her entire family including me. She went back.

Another of my aunties was raped and abused by her boyfriend for years. He smashed in the windows of my grandparents house while I was inside, 7 years old. Cops didn’t do shit.

My Nan’s best friend and her kids were chased down train tracks by the husband with a gun, shooting after them. They ran to my grandparents house and he dropped the gun because my pop said he would have to shoot him to come inside and kill the family.

My grandparents next door neighbour’s DOCTOR husband, no proof of abuse before, murder-suicided him and his family.

Another of my Nans (recently dead) had 16 siblings, most girls. They were all molested by their father, my great grandfather. My nan’s sister told us recently that she slept with the door locked and a window open so if he came in she could run. My nan got into a cycle of abusive relationships, suicide attempts and addiction for the rest of her life. She died because male doctors wouldn’t listen to the seriousness her stomach problems.

My dad was extremely verbally abusive to my whole family and emotionally/psychologically abusive to my mum while I was growing up and he only didn’t get consistently physical (he did towards my mum a couple of times as well as smacking us kids) because he saw his own dad beat his mum (the one in the above paragraph) to a pulp multiple times, including when she left because her husband was cheating with one woman and seeing multiple prostituted women.

I have multiple other relatives who were raped and abused by their husbands. One made her fuck a dog.

When I was 15/16, my friends were being taken advantage of 20+ year old men who even made one of my friends give a vile of her blood which he kept on him (and her), as a necklace, and he held a knife up to her throat when they “had sex.” She was told it was kinky and progressive. I found radical feminism on tumblr shortly after and it was the sex styles men have that turned me radical at 16. Not trans stuff. I was ripped from my high school friends and not allowed at any parties involving these men because I didn’t flirt and I didn’t fuck. I was a lesbian (who wasn’t even out at the time). I was a “frigid.”

My high school friends let me be treated this way by their male partners until the relationship would end and I’d have the salt and vinegar chips in hand and cradle them while they broke down that he was on to the next virgin pussy. Sorry but that’s how men see it and it’s how they are.

As an adult, I made really good friends with a bisexual woman at uni. We bonded over being the radical types of feminists. She got with a man. After years together I found out he cheated with a woman I know. At first she was done with him.l, when I told her. But he talked his way around to the point he made her stop talking to ME. Because I told her. In female bathrooms she kept trying to make out with me and tell me how sorry she was that in front of him she had to act like she didn’t know me, as if the only reason I cared was because I was a lesbian and “must have wanted to get with her.” I didn’t! I was there for her as a friend!!!

My cousin got with a dude who gave me a job as a writer. At first, I could write as many words as I wanted. Gradually I realised I was there for him to prove to her family he was a good person to be with. He stopped paying me, it started coming out of her account, and at that point I left the job. She’s not with him anymore—he physically/emotionally/psychologically abused her, starved her cat, hurt her kids—and we repaired our connection.

I’ve always been the lesbian friend/fam member having to watch my OSA besties/family being abused by men while they don’t listen to me. I’ve just got to stand and watch until they’re ready to get with the next abuser.

My family is a normal Australian family. We are not known for having it especially horrible, despite not being well to do with money. This is normal.

I am NOT THE ONE to talk to about how great your boyfriend or husband is and how radical you are for staying with him because you have enough money to donate to your local woman’s shelter. I am NOT THE ONE.

These examples are why I became a radical feminist. But I was a lesbian since birth. Only had crushes on girls and women since birth. Didn’t make a choice. But I think Mother Nature made me lesbian because of the abuse my family—not unlike other families, like yours, your family just might not have been as transparent with you—has endured. As an evolutionary thing. I have a right to discuss male/female relationships so go fuck yourself.

[whitexwolfxx310]

|| You're A Weapon; And Weapons Don't Weep ||

Pairing: Bucky x female reader

Summary: After Bucky discovers that your once thought to be dead older brother is HYDRA's new super soldier, you're chosen to go on a mission with the team.

Warnings: **PLEASE READ** This fic contains death. If the idea of unaliving someone can possibly trigger you, please do NOT read this. Anxiety attack, cursing, angst, random sprinkles of fluff, use of y/n.

Word Count: 4.7

A/Ns: It has been way too long, but I finally got to write for my BBWWS again. I have a feeling there won't be too many chapters left for Bucky and his Sunshine. But I have been working on other ideas and another series is in the process. I hope you enjoy reading. I love you all! The messages, comments, reblogs, likes, etc. literally give me life and inspired me to come back and get into writing all over again. Enjoy your weekend, besties!!

Previous Part // Masterlist

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. Any shred of hope that life would be returning back to normalcy remotely anytime soon got washed away by the tidal wave that was the news of your brother being the new super soldier for Hydra.

Tony and Steve called for intel meetings that basically became a fulltime job. At first it felt like an interrogation. They questioned you, curious as to why you would apply for an internship at The Compound. While the circumstances did seem suspicious, they eventually were able to rule out any foul play on your part.

The gatherings soon turned into wanting to know every intricate detail that they wouldn't be able to look up or hack out of any system. From dawn to dusk, the two men asked about your childhood together- trying to connect the pieces as to who Luke is, or was. Bucky stayed silently by your side the entire time and offered a stabilizing hand when things got overwhelming to discuss. But it also didn't slip by you that he focused on each and every detail, noting the intel for this mission.

After being able to specify things so minute; such as your brothers favorite books, favorite teacher from grade school, or the fact that he likes the color green- but not just any green, Sacramento green, because it reminded him of the vines that grew around the windows of your grandparents cottage that you would spend the majority of your summer's at as kids, you also got chosen to go on this mission. There was some minor pushback from the team, but ultimately Bucky took responsibility for you. You knew that he would keep you safe, even if it meant putting the part of his very soul that he felt remained on the line for you.

To say that the training was brutal would be an understatement. While the others had an entire lifetime to perfect their craft and years working alongside one another in unity, you had only a matter of weeks. You were thrown into a constant rotation of being educated on the newest technologies developed by Tony, boxing and going over endless tactical strategies with Steve, knowledge of weaponry with a hint of ballet to stay light on your feet with Nat... pure exhaustion wouldn't begin to describe it.

The day came when intel showed the Swiss Alps would be first on the mission log. Everyone was treating it like just any other, but the dreaded encounter was weighing down heavily deep within your stomach. The thought of using yourself as bait to lure out your brother spiraled into the millions of anxious outcomes that kept you up at night. Finally giving you just the smallest glimpse into Bucky's world. The doorway was creaked open to his nightmares.

"Wooow. You look like a Bad. Ass." Sam annunciates amusingly, as his eyes land on you walking up the small rear cargo ramp of the jet.

Your cheeks instantly blush, having already been self-conscious about the skintight, black Kevlar suit Nat gave you to wear. As more footsteps approach, you sink more into your seat and try to avoid any more eye contact.

"Just so you know, I heard that." Bucky's voice rebounds off of the metal walls before he even makes his way completely into the jet. "Don't try and make passes at my girl when I'm not aro-"

You don't need to look up to know that those steel blue eyes have frozen you into place, but you dare a glance. He's dressed in all black; Black boots, black tactical pants, a black leather jacket with the left sleeve torn off- showing his gunmetal and gold Vibranium arm, and a black glove on his right hand. The sight of him is intimidating, ready for combat and anything to be thrown his way. But those eyes. They hold a tenderness meant only for you. His magnetizing stare mixed with the wonderment expression on his face confirms his friends words and more. Okay, so maybe the suit isn't so bad.

"You're gawking." Sam is now at Bucky's side, smirking with his arms tightly crossed over his chest.

Bucky's face slides back into its usual consternation state before giving him a side glare. "Shut up." Sam shakes his head, laughing to himself lightly before making his way to the front of the jet.

You move to sit upright as he approaches, and Bucky's face finally softens. It always does when it's just the two of you. He reaches above where you're sitting to an overhead rack, casually leaning. Hovering like one of those seductive book boyfriends you'd swoon over, but for him it just comes naturally. Swallowing hard, you angle your head up to look at him. You find a slightly playful grin tugging at his lips and you crack a faint smile.

"You doing okay, Sunshine?" His voice is soft but concerned. A gloved thumb caresses down your cheek. The doting gesture entrances you to gently nuzzle into his palm.

"I don't know." You answer honestly.

He reflects on this a moment, his eyes searching yours. But he looks slightly blurry. The background noise is starting to become overwhelming. Numerous voices all start to overlap, the jet engines growing louder as they're warming up, the loud bang with each shipment container with weapons being loaded on board- weapons intended for my brother. It all combines into one long dragged-out, high-pitched ringing sound and your throat closing in on itself. Bucky senses this, notices and quickly acts. Wide eyed, he drops to his knees.

"Hey... Hey, y/n. It's okay." He quickly unfastens the harness from your seat. "Deep breaths." You can't help but notice how calm he sounds. "Hey...look at me." Bucky gently cups each side of your face, the intense coolness on the one side being a welcomed shock. Your eyes meet his, and when they do, all you see is his devotion. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here with you."

"I know you are." You mutter, pressing your forehead to his as you try to manage your breathing to match his.

"We'll find him." He breathes. "I made it out, he can too. I won't let anything happen to you while we’re out there, y/n." The urgency that his tone is trying to convey is heart wrenching.

"I know, Bucky."

"Here-" He pulls away for a moment to take a bag off his back. Unzipping it, he pulls out a water bottle. "Drink some water."

You smile internally at the gesture. As he's unscrewing the cap, you notice a novel in the bag. It's one he borrowed from you when you first met. There's a familiar stinging behind your eyes. What did I do to deserve this man? One who is willing to walk back into his version of hell to pull out someone that I love?

Sipping on the water of course helped, but Bucky tucking you securely into his side for takeoff is what kept the overwhelming anxiety at bay.

“I love you, so much.” You say against his chest, in appreciation. He snorts slightly, pressing a delicate kiss into your hair.

“And I love you, Sunshine.” Bucky adjusts his hips slightly. “Get some rest, we have a long flight.” Intricate fingers brush through your hair, eventually lulling you to sleep in the safe space that is your boyfriend’s lap.

Distant muttering started reeling you back from a dreamless sleep. Instinctively, you reach for Bucky whom you thought you were still sleeping on- only to find he had replaced it with his bag. The disappointment was starting to settle in when you hear his voice:

“I know how this can come across, but she’s strong enough. She’ll be able to handle it, Tony. I’m here, I can-“

“All I’m hearing is I, I, I, me, me, me, Barnes. You, my friend, were an exception. I don’t know if we can go in there and get this guy out alive, and even if we can, who knows what the aftermath is going to look like! For either of them! We’re taking a regular, a nobody off the street and putting a lot of pressure on her to do this. She’s already starting to feel it, that much is obvious. I’ve said from the beginning that this is a huge mistake. I understand your feelings here, from both sides. You want to make sure HYDRA doesn’t continue to pop up like daises and be there for the love of your life. I GET it. But this is a mistake.”

It’s apparent that Stark has walked away with the clinking of his heavy metal footsteps.

“You picked a good one, Buck. I have faith in her too.” There’s a small reassuring pat to coincide with Steve’s voice. “Y/n’s one of us now.”

“Thanks, Steve. I just… I have to save him. For her.” You can hear the exasperation in Bucky’s voice.

While tears sting from multiple emotions behind closed eyes still pretending to sleep, you feel overcome with something you haven’t experienced in this situation yet; determination. A sudden tenacity to prove the doubters that you can do this, that you can help your brother just how Bucky had, and that you wouldn’t bail and have a breakdown… again. No. From this point on, you refuse to let anyone see you as weak.

The bag underneath your head gently shifts and is quickly replaced with warm body heat that you quickly snuggle into. That warmth spreads as Bucky wraps his right arm around your body, pulling you in a little closer. His heart rate starts to slow, and his breathing becomes more regular. You just soak in the last moments before the unknown.

“He’s really going to just jump out the back of the jet like that?!” You try to yell, over the loud wind rumbling and your hair whipping around.

With Sam’s back facing towards you, he takes one absentminded step off of the opened ramp and is just gone. Your stomach drops along with him at the sight.

Bucky rolls his eyes as he hands you an earpiece, “Yep,” A second later, Sam comes back into view, now soaring with his Falcon wings. He gives Bucky a little sarcastic two finger salute and flies out of view. “He’s flashy like that.”

Putting the impossibly small earpiece into your ear, you can’t help but shake your head and laugh. It must be an almost forgotten sound with the weight of everything going on because now Bucky is smiling too.

“Well, I hope you’re not expecting me to jump out of a plane,” you say only half joking. Because if that’s the case, he’s going to have to literally throw you out.

“What did you think the parachutes were for?” Bucky asks deadpan, with a raised eyebrow and pointing to the packs behind him.

All of the color starts to drain from your face, when suddenly you saw the slightest twitch in Bucky’s lip.

“Oh my god. You asshole!” Bucky grabs his stomach and starts to hunch over laughing as you hit him in the arm. His metal arm. “OW!” You start shaking your hand out to wave away the initial sting.

Glancing at him, Bucky is doubled over, nose scrunched, laughing so hard that barely any noise is coming out and tears are welling up in his eyes. It’s contagious, especially as the throb in your hand turns into a dull ache.

I’ve missed this. Things being simple with us and not so draining. Moments that resemble a drop of normalcy in a typical ‘would be’ relationship. But I still wouldn’t trade it. Because he’s perfect. And he’s mine.

Once your lungs don’t feel like they’re on fire any longer, you let you a deep sigh, resting your hands on your hips. “God, I needed that.”

“Did you really think I would toss you out of a Quinjet?”

“Seemed like it in the moment-”

“Alright, love birds,” Tony interrupts, the heavy metal footsteps of his Iron Man armor catching both of your attention, "don't be late to the party," he says knowingly, palms glowing before he too disappears out of the jet.

“Don’t worry, Sunshine,” Bucky says, now standing next to you, “I have my own flashy transport,” he side eyes you with a playful grin.

Arms wrapped tightly around Bucky’s stomach; you can’t help but snuggle your cheek into his leather covered shoulder.

Of course, Bucky’s idea of flashy would be a motorcycle.

Your eyes flutter open to see Steve on his own come into view through whips of your hair. The boys. Two best friends riding like they don’t have the weight of the world constantly on their shoulders.

Steve’s bike has a bulky, all chrome classic look while Bucky’s is a modern, all black crotch rocket. Both have been modified to drive relatively quietly, and it’s such a weird dichotomy to still be able to feel the rumbling of the bike between your legs without all the noise.

One of your hands releases the clasp they had on one another, pressing your palm against Bucky’s chest- smoothing itself along his abdomen. Bucky sits more upright in his seat to press back into you more, using only his left hand to steer as his right encloses around yours, giving you a reassuring squeeze. The gesture is so minor, and yet you can just feel how he puts his heart into everything when it comes to you.

"We're going to pull off to the side up on the left. We'll have to go the rest of the way on foot," Steve's voice is solemn in your earpiece.

Bucky gives him a nod in acknowledgement, leaning back down to better control the motorcycle. This time, his hand doesn't leave yours.

The trek through the Switzerland forest was less than a mile, but with each step your feet grew heavier and that sour stomach of yours returned with the dread of seeing your brother again. If he could even be considered your brother anymore. Who knows what actually remained. As much as you have begged and pleaded with the universe to make yet another exception for Lucas just as it had for Bucky, you were terrified of the man that you would soon encounter.

Just shy of coming out of the tree line to the supposed to be abandoned old military base, you hear a series of echoing pops- stopping all three of you dead in your tracks.

Gunshots.

Bucky and Steve exchange a quick, wide-eyed glance at one another, “Go, we’ll catch up.” Bucky says, and within the blink of an eye, Steve takes off running at super soldier speed.

You didn’t realize you were holding your breath until Bucky turned to face you, his shoulders squared, lips in a tight thin line. But looking between your eyes, he loosens a breath, gripping your shoulders, “Listen to me, Sunshine,” he makes every attempt to soften his voice, but a few more pops and yelling sound off in the distance making you wince. His hands grip you tighter, “I need you to focus. What I’m about to say goes against everything I normally believe, but in this circumstance it’s critical…” he sighs, looking down before back into your eyes- trying to convey the seriousness of what he’s saying, “you have to push the fear down. And I know how that sounds, but you can’t walk in there with that look on your face. Because honey, these people will not hesitate to kill you.”

You gasp lightly at the graveness of his words. It’s not like you didn’t know this walking into the mission, but it’s different once you’re actually here.

Bucky sighs again, his expression softening as his hands cup each side of your face especially gentle, “I know, baby. I know. I won’t leave your side,” he presses his forehead to yours, closing his eyes, “I just… I can’t lose you.” His voice cracks slightly, even at just the thought.

Even with your eyes teetering with the threat of tears, you nod in understanding. Placing each of your hands over his, you press your lips to Bucky’s- holding them there, accepting that the moment they pull apart it’s no longer about the two of you, but about the mission. Luke is your mission.

“I love you,” you murmur, before opening your eyes to see deep consternation in his.

Disassociation is a powerful coping mechanism for human beings. It can feel like an outer body experience or even a dream. More like a nightmare. But as you follow into the bunker where the screaming leads, closely behind Bucky with your gun drawn watching for any sudden movements and stepping over the trail of bloodied bodies in the hallway, you're thankful for the part of your brain trying to convince you that this isn't real.

"Still no sign of Castle," Sam's voice was pragmatic in your earpiece.

Bucky looked back over his shoulder at you while still walking, "Maybe he's not here after-" and that's when you see the slightest shift of a shadow in an inverted doorway.

It was so small that in any other instance you would just assume your eyes were just playing a trick on you. But not here. Your body reacted before your mind could even fully register- taking a sudden step to the side, you fired off two prompt shots. A heavy thud followed.

Practically giving himself whiplash, Bucky looks at where you shot and back to you. His eyes widen, mouth open slightly at the realization of what just happened. What you just did- for him. Your eyes haven't moved from that doorway, and your grip is tighter on the gun than it probably should be. Pain surges through your jaw with how tightly your teeth are clenched and yet, you wait to see if anyone else is there. Is there another shadow lurking just waiting for the opportunity to harm one of you?

"Y/n..." Bucky's voice is delicate as his eyes dart around, also looking for shadows, "we have to keep moving," he says in a coaxing manner.

I can’t. The words blare in your mind like a doomsday siren and yet you can’t speak. All you can do is focus on that that dark corner where the pool of crimson continues to grow.

Bucky steps in line of your gun with somber eyes meeting yours, causing you to simultaneously point it towards the ground and break your trance. You didn’t realize just how high and how tight your shoulders had been as you loosened your breath. A new version of you being transformed as you exhale.

“I-” You try catching your breath, completely slack jaw and shaking your head just trying to comprehend what you did. “I…I just-” and the tears are flowing. No crying, no uncontrollable sobbing, but a small steady line of tears as the overwhelming awareness of taking control and trading a life for someone that you love comes to light… just flows.

“You did what you had to,” he answers for you, nodding sympathetically. You don’t deserve kindness right now, do you? But that is why he is good. And that is why he deserves to live.

“We have to go, y/n.” Bucky says, looking over your shoulders and behind himself again. “It looks like no one else has been down here yet.” He grabs your hand, not waiting for a response before he’s treading down the hallway again.

Your feet shuffle instinctively at first to follow him, but the brightness of the flickering fluorescent lights quickly grounded you to where you actually are. There are lives at stake and you need to keep your head.

The distant noise of constant struggle seemed to almost completely stop. Every few minutes you would hear a familiar voice say 'clear' in your ear and relief would wash over you, just thankful for knowing that they were alive.

It got cold the further you went, meaning you probably had gradually descended underground. Finally, at the end of what seemed like a never-ending tunnel, was a large set of metal double doors with multiple large chains and padlocks.

You and Bucky exchanged a quick glance with one another before he fists the chain with his Vibranium hand, pulling effortlessly as they break into pieces. He pushes open the doors to reveal a large, primarily empty room aside from a bunch of dusty, bulky outdated computers. Most of the overhead lights don’t work, so it seems darker in here than it did in the corridor.

Bucky steps into the room and starts looking around, his boots crunching noisily on worn rubble and glass. You hold your breath, watching as his fingers skim along the keyboards, his eyes squinting at the monitors as he passes each one as though looking for something.

And then he stops at one in particular. He eyes it carefully before looking up at the ceiling to the lights again.

“What is it?” You can’t hide your curiosity.

“There’s still power to this base,” he says observantly, turning his attention back towards the computer. “Maybe…” he mumbles to himself, leaning over the monitor a bit, his fingers blindly searching before pressing the power button. Bucky stands back as the screen comes to life, but his eyes widen, alarmed as to what he sees.

“Bucky?” You ask apprehensively, moving to stand next to him and also look at the screen. It's mostly black, but there's a green contour of... a face?

"Hello Sergeant Barnes," the computer says with a German accent.

"Oh, what the fuck?" Bucky steps back, his hands fisting into his hair.

The voice chuckles, "Come now, is that any way to greet an old friend?"

“Is… the computer talking? To you?”

“Why, yes, Ms. Castle. I am,” your stomach turns over at the sound of the voice addressing you as well.

“What the fu-” you go to repeat Bucky’s words but get cut off.

“Does the facility seem… familiar, Barnes?” Zola asks, condescendingly. “Or, at the very least, the machinery?”

Bucky's eyes start to dart around the room, taking in the different equipment before muttering to himself in dismay, "these control the cyro chambers..."

The computer laughs menacingly, "Ah, so you do remember. Good! Good..."

Rolling his arm once while taking a large step forward, Bucky brings it down, crushing the computer completely. Exposed wires spark briefly from the powerful impact, otherwise leaving the room in silence.

“What- who was that?”

“Arnim Zola. A scientist for HYDRA. The one who, well…” Bucky passively gestures to himself, “experimented and is responsible for me.”

Suddenly, another one of the numerous screens comes to life- the digitized green face grinning, “tsk, tsk. Oh, Soldat…”

“I won’t answer to that anymore,” Bucky maintained through gritted teeth, raising his arm to disintegrate this talking monitor as well just as it says:

“Who said I was talking about you?”

Just then, you hear quick, trudged steps. The only warning you had before been picked up, as easily as a pillow and aggressively, carelessly thrown aside into a metal desk, knocking some of the computers that sat on top along with you.

You tried gasping for the air that was stolen from your lungs on impact with the floor, but it didn’t come. Instead, it burned, more than the pain creeping around the left side of your ribs as you sluggishly moved to sit on your knees. Looking up, you meet the threatening gaze of the one who attacked you.

He was exceptionally tall, especially from your view on the floor. Lean, but had an athletic build and strong. Super strong. He was dressed in all black tactical gear, the only color being a large red Soviet star in the center of his chest. A black mask covered all but his eyes, keeping him faceless. He was pale, as if he hadn't seen actual sunlight in years and had shoulder length dirty blonde hair.

But those eyes. They cemented you to the floor- glaring, daring you to move or even breathe. Just the look that he conveyed felt like you were in the presence of death itself. As you were able to take your first small breath, your lips parted, and eyes narrowed as they locked into his deadly gaze. There was such a darkness glazed over the emerald irises, but you'd recognize them anywhere.

"Luke..." you exhale, painfully. Both physically and emotionally.

His brow twitches slightly at you saying his name, like his mind is trying to recollect it from a long-forgotten dream. As his body turns to face you, he suddenly gets shoved back a few feet, "Back off, Castle." Bucky warns sternly, stepping between you and your brother.

Gripping the desk, you use it to hoist yourself up, whining slightly and grabbing at your left side realizing that you most likely have some broken ribs. The sound of your pain distracted Bucky for one second, and Luke took that opportunity to lunge forward and kick him high in the chest. With a breathless grunt, Bucky barrels backwards into you, knocking your back flush against the wall.

Luke was there in the blink of an eye, grabbing Bucky by the collar of his jacket. The two of them quickly became a tangle of throwing fists and kicks, breaking apart to find anything around to throw at one another. Overturning desks, throwing chairs, Bucky even chucked a still laughing Zola computer at Luke.

While you never thought the two most important men in your life would ever have the chance to meet, this is not the way you would have ever imagined it.

With your back still flat against the wall, you slide down to sit on the floor, starting to feel dizzy. Maybe it was the overwhelmingness of the situation, but instinctively you bring your hand to the back of your head, and it feels... wet. Looking at your fingers, they're now coated with fresh, warm crimson blood. It's getting harder to think straight with the tunneling vision, but you realize that you hit your head against the wall from the collision of bodies.

"Please..." you choke out a sob, "please, stop," you beg. But they can't hear you over their own heated screams and grunts as they continue to fight one another. Your narrowing vision focuses on Bucky, seeing that he is fighting more defensively- actively trying to avoid hurting Luke, pulling his punches where he can. Tears burn behind your eyes at the sight, knowing that if this were anyone else, it would already be over.

"Luke!" Bucky yells and quickly dodges to the side, avoiding the knife now sticking out of the wall that Luke threw at him. "Your sister came here to get you back! She's here for you. We're here for you!" Bucky maintained his distance, mirroring Luke's movement's trying to rely on his words rather than fists. They're pacing, waiting for the other to make a move.

The ringing in your ears was becoming too hard to ignore and as much as you tried to fight it, sweat started to bead up on your skin. You were losing consciousness, and fast.

"Bucky," you breathe out. His body tenses as he looks over at you, eyes wide. He jumps over one of the only remaining desks in the room and kneels down, hands hovering over body briefly, afraid to touch you.

"Okay... okay," he mutters to himself, scanning you over, his eyes linger on your hand with the now drying blood on them. Bucky gently cups your cheek, his thumb grazing over it as he forces a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "You're gonna be okay, Sunshine. I-I'm going to get you outta here and get some help, okay?" His voice sounds shaky as his chest heaves, "Sam? I need a med evac for y/n,"

You nod once, or at least you think you do, as you continue to focus on Bucky. Everything around him starts to fade into a deeper black void. The last thing you see is Luke step into view over Bucky's shoulder to look down at you. At some point during their altercation, his mask had been ripped off. His lips were pressed into a thin line as his teeth clenched and remained expressionless while Bucky continued to stroke your hair and try to speak calm, reassuring words of how he would make sure you would be okay as you slipped under the surface of complete darkness.

@peaches1958 @aquabrie @elsie-bells @pono-pura-vida @redbloodedgurl @almosttoopizza @beware-my-thorns @prettylittlepluviophile @annoyinglythoughtfuldestiny @calwitch @ozwriterchick @roofwitty779 @lessersole @lil-darhk @agoddoesnotplead @saranghaey @erinallene @mrsvxder @elizabeth916 @cjand10 @bucky-barnes-lover @wintrsoldrluvr @skulliecadaver-blog