#and more flashbacks to their interactions during the war

[sazernac]

Saz we need to talk about this chapter.

OK, i teared up several times. I mean like legit, when Mysaria was thinking about how Rhaenyra reacted when she found out and how the baby might put her position in jeopardy and she told the baby "i want you even if the realm doesnt" like hello?? Are you kidding me? Also did Rhaenyra ride there on horseback to get her girl back?? That was so sexy of her NGL but then the conversation they had about why they chose one another had me gagged then the hot sex like, wtf. Couldnt breathe, need a trigger warning to drink water next time. Then, the DRAGON DREAM, cause thats what it had to have been, so im flat out asking, is Mysaria going to become a Dragon rider??? Did the baby do that?? Then, Criston fucking Cole still being alive and stirring shit up in Dorne and only MYSARIA coming to the correct conclusion?? Like you have me so ready to be your sugar person to fund your next pay check so you can just stay home and give us the entire fucking fic!! Lastly, i adore the way you use High Valyrian, its so immersive and i love that this is how Rhaenyra and Mysaria really convey their emotions and connect to each other! A million kudos!

Oh my, I am so humbled by this. Especially about the needing a water trigger warning because lol. But, regarding the dragon dream, yes it was Mysaria dreaming and yes I plan to make her an official dragon rider outside of what she already does with Rhaenyra. Is her pregnancy the cause of this? Strong maybe. I’m glad you like my use of Valyrian because I love the language so being able to implement as a way to tell Rhaesaria’s story is a plus for me. Thank you so much for your comments!

[bokettochild]

Ketto's Update Thoughts: Crescent Flame 1

Okay! I missed the last one, so here's this one!

Honestly, I love this pairing! I love that Legend and Hyrule, the two OG Links, are the ones teamed up. For character building, I'm not keen on it, but for asthetics? Gosh, my first two games were the OG Zelda and ALTTP, so watching the boys hit all the traditional dungeon requirements together, all the ones you'd expect in their games, makes me very happy. (I am dying to know what that torch does! They never JUST light up the room, except in moving floor levels- that is, if I'm remembering right?)

It's good to see Legend relaxing a bit more, and that bit with the pots! Yes, he took a risk, tossing it at Hyrule's freaking HEAD, but he's being playful and not as tense. If he was the bully the rest thought, he'd totally have tried to snatch that rupee, since he grabbed the pot first, but instead we have this little reaction

(Love his little smile here, omgosh!!!!)

-

I am curious about why JoJo chose to have the Age Bookends interrupt the two boys; was it just a way to get these two, mostly silent, Links to start talking? Or will we be seeing the groups stumble over each other a bit through the dungeon? Doubling over ground already covered? If this is based of Downfall dungeons (which it has many traits of so far) that would track, but if not, then I wander why it is that way.

I might be thinking too much though, and besides, it did give us THIS funny interactions

Like, this has, at the very least, got to be JoJo having fun with the fact that all of us can't make up our minds where Four fits in the Age range of the group, and maybe this is where we start to get more confirmation for all the ages! I mean, we did have Wars classifying Legend, officially, with the 'kids', and Sky is now counted with the adults (in the early days a lot of folks had him on the younger side, not equal to Twilight)

.....

Okay, I know I'm hyper-focusing on Legend, but hey, this is the first time we've seen this much of him in a bit, and I'm getting some DDR flashbacks right now; the two heroes' wandering off, discussing something as they go, something that has Legend feeling a certain kinda angst, and I just get the impression that maybe something's going to happen with him here.

I have been wondering why JoJo included the bunny arc before, especially as it has no plot relevance save setting up the relationship with Twilight and Sky, which could have been accomplished through other means (although it would have taken longer). The fact of the matter though is that Hyrule was brought into it back then:

which has had me wondering for a while if JoJo might revisit this, and perhaps the bit about Warriors too; she's been fleshing out that relationship more as of late as well!

Which brings me to my next point!

followed by

This is really interesting to me, considering just how much Legend's whole existence is wrapped up beside the ideas of knighthood and the existence of knights! In his games, we learn he's the last of a bloodline of ancient knights, his uncle was a knight, and it's likely his father was one too. Yet his most common enemies in the Light world are also knights, not monsters- at least during his first adventure! So it makes sense that he'd have complicated feelings about it.

However, we've seen Legend spout some very definitive opinions about knights on the whole:

Maybe it's just me, but given his own heritage, combined with his resentment, I'm starting to think Legend's still trying to convince himself how terrible knights are, and maybe not just because of what they've done to him, but maybe out of a feeling of being less-than or unworthy, much like Hyrule himself! Except, rather than openly admiring what he'd like to be, he mocks it to make himself feel better about not being able to achieve it, hence why he tends to pick more on Warriors and Sky, the two knights, rather than the rest of the group (given that Wild doesn't remember much of being a knight, I don't think he counts in Legend's book).

Again, maybe I'm reading into it more than I should, but this expression

seems to let on that there's more to this than Legend's saying. he's not even speaking loud enough for Hyrule to hear him (the traveler is obviously focused elsewhere) so one can assume this is more a comment to himself, yet there's more regret than anger in that face, more resignation than resentment, like something about the thought of never being a knight actually hurts Legend in some way.

.....

Oh well, maybe I'm reading into this too much, I have been writing a lot of angst today, so maybe that's what's up LOL

Either way, I'm so glad for a Legend centric update, and I'm eager to see where JoJo takes what she's setting up here. i'm pretty sure we'll be tuning in next time to one of the other groups (maybe the Age Bookends again, since they showed up here), but whatever happens, I will be watching eagerly!

[maybe-im-dark]

Alright, let’s talk about Logan’s PTSD. People throw around the term “bad memories” or “scary flashbacks,” but for him, PTSD is much more than that. His trauma isn’t just something he can brush off or ignore—it’s embedded in him, in every single fiber of his being, and the triggers are painfully specific.

Imagine needles. For most people, needles are a brief discomfort. But for Logan, they’re a brutal reminder of the agonizing, torturous hours he spent during the adamantium bonding process. Think about it: needles didn’t just prick his skin; they drilled into his bones, pumping molten metal to fuse with his skeleton. It’s like he’s reliving those moments every time he sees a needle. It’s not just a shot—it’s the memory of lying on a table, helpless and immobilized, as they drilled deeper and deeper until he became Weapon X. When doctors suggest anything that involves needles—like an IV or drawing blood—he has to fight the urge to lash out because it throws him right back to that table.

And the thing is, it’s not just needles. Medical procedures, in general, set off alarm bells for him. Even something as routine as an EEG, where they place electrodes on his head, is a complete no-go. Why? Because it looks too much like the mind control helmet Stryker and the scientists used on him, the one that allowed them to twist his thoughts and make him an unfeeling weapon. It doesn’t matter that it’s safe; Logan’s mind is hardwired to associate it with the moments when he lost control of his own mind and body, forced to do unspeakable things.

Then there’s the ever-present sense of vigilance. Logan isn’t just “hyper-aware” like most superheroes; he’s hyper-aware to the point of exhaustion. He’s constantly on alert, watching his back, assessing threats in every room he walks into. His senses are razor-sharp, which makes it impossible to ignore any sight, sound, or smell that might bring a painful memory flooding back. Smells, in particular, can set him off. The sterile smell of hospitals, or the faint chemical scent in labs, can bring him back to moments he’d rather forget. And he can’t just shut his senses down, so every little trigger feels amplified, making it a battle just to stay grounded.

And let’s not forget nightmares. Logan’s sleep is a minefield of traumatic memories. We see him wake up in sweats, sometimes even with his claws unsheathed. He’ll wake up clawing, gasping, fighting off shadows of the past that linger long after he’s woken. For him, sleep isn’t rest—it’s another battlefield, where memories become physical sensations he can’t escape. And he’ll never fully let his guard down, even around the people he loves, because he knows that one misstep could mean hurting them, especially when his subconscious doesn’t recognize friend from foe.

Logan’s need to protect his food is something that catches people off guard. But when you’ve spent years in wars, surviving on scraps, and when you’ve gone hungry as a kid running through the wilderness, that survival instinct sticks. Logan has real food insecurity—even if logically, he knows he’s safe now.

Logan will often stash food in his room, even with Wade assuring him there’s plenty in the kitchen. He needs to see that food, to know it’s there just in case. And god help anyone who takes food off his plate; he’ll instinctively react, growling or baring his teeth. It’s not about being rude or greedy; it’s a primal reaction, a reminder of times when he didn’t know when his next meal would come.

So, no, Logan’s PTSD isn’t just “bad memories.” It’s physical, it’s mental, and it affects every part of his life—from how he interacts with doctors and hospitals to how he navigates relationships and even his own body. For Logan, trauma isn’t just something he “deals with” or “works through”—it’s something he lives with, in every moment.

[sundrop-writes]

A Masterlist of All* My Non-Smut Fics

aka a list of all my fics that do not feature smut - my angsty and fluffy fics

(for those people who keep making posts complaining about about not being able to find non-smutty fics but according to statistics, never seem to read or interact with the fics that don't have smut in them)

*this didn't even end up being all of them, because it turned out to be way more than I expected. these are mostly just my favourites. so if you want to see all my fics, definitely check out my AO3

keep in mind, some of these are on Tumblr and some of these are only on AO3, and my AO3 is archive locked so you will need an account and need to be signed in to read them. they are sorted by fandom, and I have put my favourite fics toward the top in each fandom section. I'm mostly just posting this to see if these fics get a boost in interaction or if people complain about smut as a surface level thing but genuinely do interact with and enjoy smut fics more

Harry Potter My full Harry Potter Masterlist - which includes smut and other short fics

Kisses Like Fire Whiskey - FLUFF. MUTUAL PINING. Fred Weasley x Fem!Gryffindor!Reader. Best Friends to Lovers. Set Post War with flashbacks to Goblet of Fire. When you come back from a long apprenticeship in France, you and Fred catch up over drinks, reminiscing about your days as mischievous rebels. In the drunken haze, some important things are realized. (7,500 words.)

My Bleeding Heart - ANGST WITH A FLUFFY ENDING. HURT AND COMFORT. Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader. Arranged Marriage. Set during Deathly Hallows. When Draco finds out that you are pregnant, he is worried because he doesn't want his child to be just another pawn to the Dark Lord. So, then and there, he makes a very important decision to risk everything in order to protect you and his future child. (3,400 words.)

Teen Wolf My full Teen Wolf Masterlist - which includes smut and other short fics

Protective - HURT AND COMFORT. EMOTIONAL ANGST. Isaac Lahey x Fem!Reader. Pining Best Friends. Set during Season 2, Episode 9. During Isaac's first full moon, he needs something to ground him - so he thinks of you. (2,300 words.)

Blood In The Water - EXTREME ANGST. HURT NO COMFORT. Void!Stiles x Fem!Reader. (Pining) Best Friends to 'Lovers'. Set during Season 3 (with flashbacks to Season 1). When Void takes control, you worry about the damage that he's inevitably doing to Stiles's body. So you make a deal with him - if he lets Stiles eat, then you'll feed Void with some of your pain. But it's not cuts or broken bones that he wants from you - it's your tears. (11,700 words.)

Mister Myxzptlk - FLUFF. Stiles Stilinski x Fem!Reader. Mutual Pining. You're new at Beacon Hills High, and you have questions about Stiles's name. When you end up comparing him to a very obscure comic book character, he falls harder for you than he ever thought possible. (800 words.)

(Un)Intimidated - FLUFF. Derek Hale x POTSie!GN!Reader. Set during Season 1. You are tasked with 'babysitting' Derek while he's hiding from the police, and he mistakes a medical condition you have for a fear of him - but you quickly set him straight. (600 words.)

Claustrophobia - HURT AND COMFORT, FLUFF. Isaac Lahey x GN!Reader. Set during Season 3, Episode 4. When you and Isaac have detention together and accidentally get locked in a janitorial closet together, you help him through a panic attack induced by his claustrophobia. (800 words.)

The Walking Dead My full Walking Dead Masterlist - which includes other longer fics that have smut

Heaven's Gate - EMOTIONAL ANGST, HURT AND COMFORT, FLUFFY ENDING. Daryl Dixon x GN!Reader. Set during Seasons 1-5. You and Daryl get separated when the Prison falls, and you both believe the other person to be dead. But you can’t let go of the things your relationship taught you. Eventually, when you’re reunited - it’s like you never missed a moment apart. (24,200 words.)

Day and Night - HURT AND COMFORT. FLUFF. Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader. Strangers to 'Lovers'. Set Pre-Season 4. Posted on AO3. When Daryl gets into some trouble on a hunt and gets shot, a random stranger comes to his rescue. He doesn't expect that stranger to be beautiful, kind, and to make him a candlelit dinner after treating his wounds. (Wait - is this a date?) (5,000 words.)

DC Titans My full DC Titans Masterlist - which includes smut and other short fics

Your First Kiss With Gar Logan - FLUFF. HURT AND COMFORT. Gar Logan x GN!Reader. Best Friends to Lovers. Set during Season 3, Episode 4. While the Titans are living in Gotham, things are spiralling out of control. You take a moment to comfort Gar and help him with an unexpected injury, and the two of you find those inevitable feelings coming to the surface. (2,700 words.)

Your First Kiss With Dick Grayson - EMOTIONAL ANGST. HURT AND COMFORT. Dick Grayson x GN!Reader. Childhood Friends to Lovers. Set during Season 4, Episode 6. The world may literally be coming to an end, and when your brave face finally cracks, Dick rushes to comfort you. But seeing you cry breaks something within him, and he knows that he can't let this pass without finally saying something to you - something that he's been holding back for years. (2,900 words.)

Your First Kiss With Jason Todd - EXTREME ANGST, PINING. HURT, NO COMFORT. Jason Todd x GN!Reader. Frenemies to Lovers. Set during Season 3. Jason thought that he hated you - until he didn't. Until his feelings for you ruined his whole life, and threatened to swallow him whole. (8,200 words.)

Criminal Minds My full Criminal Minds Masterlist - which includes smut and other short fics

The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes - HURT AND COMFORT, EMOTIONAL ANGST, FLUFFY ENDING. Spencer Reid x BAU!Fem!Reader. Co-Workers to Lovers. Fake Dating. Set during Season 4, Episode 3. While undercover inside the Separatarian Sect, you and Spencer realize something important: you can’t live without each other. (8,200 words.)

Figure It Out - EMOTIONAL ANGST, MYSTERY, CASEFIC, HURT AND COMFORT. Fem!Reader x Gen!BAU (Platonic). A Criminal Minds Casefic. General Casefic, modelled after a Criminal Minds episode. When the team takes a case in your hometown - a secret that you have been trying to hide for years comes to be known with a vengeance. (18,000 words.)

...

this isn't even all of them, I just got tired of making this list lmao. so if you like these and you want more, definitely check out my Main Masterlist

[decepti-thots]

Character ask for Ratchet?

one aspect about them i love: I really enjoy the fact IDW Ratchet is genuinely quite... maybe outright calling him 'arrogant' is overstating it a little, but you know what I mean? He's presented as having that very particular kind of 'if I can't and don't do this, nobody can and nobody will' which is both a kind of generosity (he'll go above and beyond if he thinks it's the right thing to do, without questioning whether he has to) and also very much cocky and even self-centered at times. (See: him never quiiiite getting around to handing off being CMO to First Aid, despite swearing he will, no, really...) He's so up his own ass at times, but also in that way where you can see how it stems from a very specific desire to be able to fix something. Excellent combination of traits. In a very weird and indirect way, he has just slightly more in common with Rodimus than I think he'd like to admit, in this regard, TBH. one aspect i wish more people understood about them:

Ratchet's kind of a judgey asshole with huge blindspots. Like. It's a pretty core character trait IMO! Once he forms an opinion his confidence in his own rightness makes it hard to shake him from it, and he's prone to taking his own faulty premises for granted enough that this can amplify his worst tendencies. You see it in everything from the way his self-directed insecurity over his failing hands is also representative of the fact he casually assumes his own inherent superiority as a forged medic, to the way in the Shadowplay flashback we see him be very casually dismissive of the seriousness of Drift's situation (he's very encouraging; but also very naive). And I think eradicating that tendency to see things from his own perspective (and for that perspective to be one that comes from a very specific background and experiences) from his character is really just sanding off the most fun parts of his personality. one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character:

He has a minor habit of being very precise and slightly obsessive about his fuel intake, because part of being a medic during the war was a combination of having to ration it out (dying patients need it, after all, and there's not much to spare) and needing to nonetheless be strict about not under fuelling to the point it impacted his ability to work. He hasn't really managed to shake the now-unnecessary balancing act post-war (because god forbid Ratchet admit he might have a problem with something).

one character i love seeing them interact with: I really do love all the times we see Ratchet and Rodimus interacting. They're like- juuuust missing each other constantly, I feel, in terms of what they want from the other and expect of them. Moments like how clearly Rodimus puts a lot of stock in whether or not Ratchet voted to remove him as captain, and how despite voting 'no' there's almost a level of respect in saying as much when given the opportunity, rather than simply walking away. Or when Ratchet tries to guess what will motivate Rodimus in that one scene towards the end of the Mederi arc and he's just not… quite right in his assessment of Rodimus and what he's like. There's a surprising level of tension there but not necessarily an antagonistic one, per se, and the degree to which Rodimus especially really wants Ratchet's respect and values it is very interesting to me. one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more: I know there's realistically not really anywhere it could be bar possibly like. The Functionist Universe's second arc or something (which I'm not fond of on the whole admittedly) but gosh, I wish we'd had just a little more of an idea of what Ratchet and Pharma's dynamic was like pre-Delphi breakdown. We get hints- Pharma clearly put a lot of stock in their friendship that he felt Ratchet didn't return (the flashback in Our Steps Will Always Rhyme showing he sought Ratchet's input on his reassignment and Ratchet ghosted him, and it's clearly something that bothers him), and there's stuff like the background cameo they do indeed get in an FU scene showing them socializing outside of work. But ugggh I want more details on what their dynamic was actually like, because they're both these very big personalities with a strong arrogant streak and it makes a lot of sense to me this would be what Ratchet liked about him and vice versa, and it would be so fun to see what that dynamic looked like in better times!

Unfortunately finding fan content about those two that isn't extremely uhhh fanonized is. Also hard. Sighs sadly.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character:

Ratchet was the one who finally broached to Drift that they should do the rites, because he correctly intuited that Drift had convinced himself that if he asked he would be turned down and it was better to simply avoid the topic forever, and so despite Ratchet really not wanting to have to be the one to get all sappy, needs must and all that.

[olicohens]

oh no you guys. i’m going to spew things i’ve realized while rewatching umbrella academy. I’m realizing were all being too sucked into fanon things after being stuck without canon content for so long. We have convinced ourselves Five acts like a mean mean dude to everyone but rewatching, i’ve realized he’s only stressed and is saying things out of panicked anger, especially in s1 with the apocalypse dooming over them. he acts soft to his siblings multiple times, he’s really not as mean as we write him in fanfiction. he is a little crap though, that’s for sure, and i love him for that <3

also realizing that the siblings don’t hate five. they just literally don’t know him at all. he came back a completely different person after 17 years for the siblings, they don’t know five, he’s a stranger so of course they’re gonna be cold to him. it’s like, “i don’t know you well, but you’re always going to be my brother in the end”.

ALSO. for those who ship some of the siblings, uhm… i’ve seen a lot of you guys try to prove that they don’t see eachother as siblings and more like academy students, but they very much say in just about every episode that they see eachother as siblings. they don’t actually SAY that word by word but they say things like “she’s our sister”, or “our dad”. if they say OUR dad… bro. i’m not even going to continue, you can put it together yourself. But, i do realize why people ship the siblings. I am not defending incest shippers but with umbrella academy i can see why people have resorted to it. only 3 of the characters in the main sibling cast has romantic partners. people like shipping people, people love writing romantic relationships, but with only diego/lila, dave/klaus, and sissy/viktor, (i’m not going to count five/dolores for now) people are desperate with the need to ship the rest of the siblings with someone, and since there are only a few actual canon characters in the show that interact with our main 7, people start shipping them together… yikes. anywho, that’s all for that peice. i blame the show writers as well for shipping luther/allison, they did not have to do that, but i’m hoping it was only to convey the severity of what childhood trauma does to people.

ALSO THIS HERE SHOOK ME. I actually think Reginald cares for the siblings. i hate to say it, but it’s true. caring for them does not mean being good, though. he was a horrible father, and person, but he genuinely did care for the siblings, in a like, “being the best is the best thing for you, i will make you better, for your sake, even if you don’t know it now, you will see that i am right” kind of way.

also why has NOBODY MENTIONED THIS. in season 2 when diego first reunites with five in the asylum, while he’s walking into the visitors room, he’s staring at five with this heartfelt, soft look, and then says “five…” in the most soft spoken voice ever 😭 your honor i love them

ALSO UGHHH THIS. IM GOING TO FREAK OUT ABOUT CAMERAWORK AND METAPHORS HERE SO BARE WITH ME. we as a fandom complain about the lack of flashbacks five has due to his ptsd. we’ve seen his first flashback since getting back to his family in s1 during the van scene when he gets triggered by those kids playing and starts thinking about his own childhood, i’m guessing. i ate that scene up, and was sad to see that be one of the only deeply vulnerable scenes he has in the season, and during my first watch i thought they’d never bring it back up. but they do!! i may be stupid for not realizing but whatever. in season 2, when five is trying to explain at elliot’s with all his siblings around that another apocalypse is coming, everyone starts talking about each other. as someone who studies film and camerawork, i love this scene. we see the camera focus on five as it slowly zooms in. it doesn’t switch scenes at all as the siblings voices overlap and echo over eachother. this whole scene conveys him getting overwhelmed and he starts to zone out, starting to think of the nuclear war he saw his siblings in. the scenes of the war start quickly switching through, showing many different scenes of it before it switches back to five, who says “guys, you all die. i want to forget it but i can’t” which just UGH its so well done there. if you think about it, he was starting to slip into another flashback. he was triggered by talking about their deaths in the war but was handling it well until the siblings started fighting, where we see the overlapping voices happen. it portrays him losing control and being unable to pull it back together with too much going on for him to focus on grounding himself. we DO however, see that five was able to pull himself out before he fell too deep into the flashback. i love how they show this through them still having the scene showing the war, but then fives voice starts talking over the scene which is still focusing on the war as if he was pushing it back and forcing himself to come back to the present.

thank you for reading if you’ve made it this far, i will continue to freak out another time <3

[thesweetnessofspring]

Can you do a deep analysis of the last paragraph of MJ, before the epilogue? 😭 I can grasp the gist of it, but I feel like it's not all right

Bro you really want this? Deep dive analysis into possibly the most analyzed passage in the whole series? All right. Let's go. First, the whole passage:

Now let's break it up.

Peeta and I grow back together.

I think there are two ways to take this sentence, really they both apply. The first is "Peeta and I grow back together" as in, they become as they were before the hijacking, which was in sync and in love. The second is "Peeta and I grow back together" as in, they both heal from the horrors they've had to face and as they do this together, side by side, each one having the other's backs. There's a reason why Everlarkers are so obsessed with this line, it's spawned a whole subtype of fanfiction. Grow back together, like the meadow that grew back from the bombs of the Capitol.

There are still moments when he clutches the back of a chair and hangs on until the flashbacks are over. I wake screaming from nightmares of mutts and lost children.

Suzanne's father was a veteran of the Vietnam War. I could have sworn I read an interview where she mentioned her father having nightmares, though I can't find it now. However in her picture book The Year of the Jungle, Suzanne notes some PTSD symptoms her father had, including spacing out and being back in the jungle. Here we see Katniss and Peeta both have intrusive symptoms of PTSD, similar to what Suzanne's father had. These are struggles that they continue to deal with because of the way the world used and traumatized them.

But his arms are there to comfort me. And eventually his lips.

Following Katniss referencing her nightmares, we get this information, that Peeta first holds Katniss after these nightmares. At some point in time, he's welcomed back into her bed as he was during the Victory Tour and Quarter Quell. Then, at some point following this, his lips comfort her, implying that after nightmares he kisses her.

Katniss and Peeta are familiar with kissing one another, though all but one in canon up to this point has been in front of an audience. Yet we see the difference in how Katniss kissed Peeta in the first book, where it was more calculated for the camera, and how it is in Catching Fire where even in the Quell, they kiss each other without a second thought about it, how naturally it flows into their interactions. Here, Katniss implies that same ease and natural path from holding to kissing. Peeta's lips become a comfort to her after she sees her worst fears play out in her nightmares.

On the night I feel that thing again, the hunger that overtook me on the beach, I know this would have happened anyway.

There are two instances in canon that Katniss was able to fully immerse herself in kissing Peeta without worrying about the Games or Gale. The first is following Peeta getting the medicine in the first Games. Right before the kiss, Katniss says, "...the idea of actually losing Peeta hit me again and I realized how much I don't want him to die. And it's not about the sponsors. And it's not about what will happen back home. And it's not just that I don't want to be alone. It's him. I do not want to lose the boy with the bread." The second is, of course, the iconic beach scene, where she says, "I realize only one person will be damaged beyond repair if Peeta dies. Me. 'I do,' I say. 'I need you.'"

We don't know what led up to this particular night, but from the two instances before, it was likely a great emotional connection. Perhaps it was even Katniss realizing that even if she had the two suitors in front of her, it would have been Peeta she'd have chosen in the end. And this emotional connection is what prompts that "hunger that overtook [her] on the beach."

This is how Katniss describes that "hunger" in CF: "The sensation inside me grows warmer and spreads out from my chest, down through my body, out along my arms and legs, to the tips of my being. Instead of satisfying me, the kisses have the opposite effect, of making my need greater. I thought I was something of an expert on hunger, but this is an entirely new kind." This description is about Katniss's first canon experience with sexual attraction. The kissing only makes her "need greater" and the only comparable experience she has is "hunger." A hunger for "more." More what? They're already kissing and they become "wrapped up" in each other. It stands to reason, then, that her body is asking for further sexual stimulation. There is the emotional connection, with Katniss realizing the depth of her grief if Peeta dies and she lives, in connection to her sexual desire.

And here we also have another favorite of the Everlark community: "this would have happened anyway." Perhaps anticipating the response from "Team Gale" that Peeta won by forfeit, Collins and Katniss are clarifying that no, Katniss would have actively chosen Peeta. That "anyway" tells so much. It's not "if Gale had come back to District 12 but I still saw him responsible for my sister's death." It's anyway. No matter what condition or events, Katniss would have grown back together with Peeta, would have brought him back into her bed, would have felt aroused by him and chosen him as her life partner.

That what I need to survive is not Gale's fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself.

Up to this point, Gale really only has two associations with fire: first when he and Katniss are at the lake and she's describing Snow's threats as he cooks them food. And last, the bombs that killed Prim. Here we see the dual nature of Gale's fire. One is homey and nurturing, the other destructive. Gale is both. There was a time when his fire helped keep Katniss's going, and she did to his. Katniss says it here, she has "plenty of fire" herself. Only Gale's fire is not limited to the hearth. When given the chance, the wind picks up his fire and flamed it outside of the hearth and into brush of "rage and hatred." He thought he was defending himself and other vulnerable people. But fire is difficult to control once it begins to burn and Gale lost control of his when he shared his plans with Beetee and Coin. And even in smaller instances, when Gale's fire fought Katniss's fire, they simply burned out. On a personal level, their similarities are what drew them apart from each other.

In comparison, Peeta is described as being a "whiz" at fires, even lighting up damp wood. Following Prim's death, Katniss says she has "no fire." Gale's fire burnt out hers. Yet we see here that Katniss says she "has plenty of fire" herself. Who stoked her fire back to life but the boy she grew back together with? The one who could rouse her from mental anguish and hopelessness, and also soothe her when her anger was roused up? Gale's fire puts her out. Peeta's hand steadies her flame.

What I need is a dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again.

Here I am going to go on a bit of a nerd-out on the dandelion here. In some variations of the Theseus and the Minotaur story (which THG is loosely inspired by), Hecate feeds Theseus dandelions for 30 days before his encounter with the Minotaur to give him strength. In others, he ate a dandelion salad after killing the Minotaur. The Minotaur is Crete's version of The Hunger Games, and Theseus ends it by killing the Minotaur.

Katniss first associates dandelions with Peeta after catching his eye the day following the evening when he threw bread to her and he had a bruised cheek. This dandelion gave her hope and is one she associates with Peeta from the beginning of the story. This dandelion gave Katniss strength to keep fighting and providing for her family, the first Minotaur the Capitol puts up against its people, their hunger and poverty. Then on the way to the 74th Games, Katniss has determined that Peeta's kindness is a play of his and she throws out his father's cookies to be rid of any kindness from the Mellarks, but they land "in a patch of dandelions by the track. I only see the image for a moment, because the train is off again, but it's enough. Enough to remind me of that other dandelion in the school yard years ago." This dandelion then reminds her of the ways she braved the wood alone at first, how she made trades, took what her father had taught her and applied it. And this reminder lingers with her on her journey for the ultimate fight of her life (so far), the Hunger Games. She is once again fed by the dandelions on her way to face her Minotaur.

Through the Games, Katniss loses her free will, her privacy, and any remaining peace she had left. This of course launches into the whole of the series where she's deafened, manipulated, publicized, flaunted, scarred, terrorized, sees others killed and kills other. By the end of Mockingjay, she's "a badly burned girl with no wings. With no fire. And no sister." Katniss has faced "destruction" on a personal, familial, and community level due to the wings staples on her and the fire others lit and she has little left at the end.

And yet, even when she so badly wants to die, when Peeta tells her he can't let go, she holds on. She holds on until "spring's in the air" and her dandelion in the spring, Peeta, returns. While the dandelions of his kindness fed her after her father's death and before the Hunger Games, here he is nourishing her again after the war. Reminding her of the goodness that there still is in life, "no matter how bad our losses." And for both Katniss and Peeta, they've had really, really bad losses.

And here it is: dandelions to Katniss are not just a pretty flower, or a symbol of wealth as the rose is to Snow. Dandelions are food. They are nourishment. Dandelions can even be medicine. They grow everywhere and can be found everywhere, bright little suns that can offer so much. Peeta is that to her as well. He nourishes her, strengthens her, is her medicine, and the only person she consummates a romantic and sexual relationship with and fulfills the "hunger" that is "an entirely new kind" to her. He gives her life in every way that is possible and gives her a rebirth, like a phoenix rising from the ashes.

So after, when he whispers, "You love me. Real or not real?" I tell him, "Real."

"So after" we can canonically take as whatever came after she felt hunger (aka sexual desire). It's difficult to interpret it other than that this is when they consummated their relationship, in the very least engaging in some sexual act beyond kissing. Because Katniss says that Peeta's arms and eventually his lips helped her through her nightmares, and this is more than that. It is enough to stand apart and prompt Peeta to clarify his greatest question in the series, about whether or not Katniss loves him.

"Real or not real" was a game Katniss and Peeta have been playing since the beginning. Was Peeta really that kind? Did Katniss actually have feelings for Peeta, even when both knew it had started as an act? What is their relationship if the Capitol is making them play at being a happy couple? Although the hijacking made Peeta question his entire life, even without the hijacking, this is surely something he would have had to ask anyway, and only more so after the hijacking.

Finally having taken time to grieve, to come back to life, to grow back with a partner she trusts, Katniss can confirm to him that yes, she loves him. The final word answering one of the earliest questions in the series: who does Katniss love romantically, if anyone? And the answer, that has been there since his name first appeared: Peeta Mellark.

[twopoppies]

https://www.tumblr.com/twopoppies/779120652808536064/hi-gina-im-already-sick-of-myself-typing-this?source=share

War flashbacks…

I read Daisie’s timeline, and I realized that the way Shia quit the movie and Harry came in to replace him happened almost one right after the other. I’d say it was a rushed negotiation, and no one really thought through the consequences, plus I doubt anyone saw it coming.

I think Harry was trying to be as professional as possible with her, but there were moments where he definitely seemed upset: like during one of the Boston shows (before Harryween), then the whole yachtgate situation, and when he found out the nightmare was going to last another year and was seen at Sony office. You could also tell he didn't want to do pda with her until they probably told him to put in more effort.

As for the tattoo, we’ll never know what made him get it, but I think she wanted an engagement—there were even rumors, I believe—but I guess at that point he said 'I’ll just get your name tattooed instead.' I wouldn’t be surprised.

The only positive thing is that Harry—because I truly believe it was more him than his team—was able to negotiate keeping her separate from the album and didn’t let her mention him outside of the movie promo. I feel like that was a last-minute negotiation too, because it really seemed like they were going to link the album to her, but thank God that didn’t happen.

Nothing will make me believe that relationship was real, even without considering larry—things just didn’t add up, and Harry showed his frustration in many ways.

And for those who use the excuse that she interacted with his family and friends, believe me, if Harry were my friend, I’d try to protect him and help however I could (because that’s what friends do). And if that means going to her birthday just to keep up appearances and prevent my friend from another pap walk with her, I’d do it.

I absolutely agree with you about friends and family helping to keep him from suffering through more interaction with her.

I think the leak of the video of her begging Shia to stay, while also shading Florence, probably enraged Harry. I would bet she was covering all her bases and doing all of that while also courting Harry to be in the film (and we already know she lied about Shia being fired, and lied about his behavior on set, when he actually quit because the script for the film was terrible and there wasn't enough rehearsal time).

I think the tattoo exchange for an engagement was a fan theory originally (because I know I had that theory, and I saw others saying it, too). We really have no idea, but it seems like a logical leap to make.

Frankly, I think she was thrilled for it to last a second year and probably didn't fight it for one second. It was originally supposed to be released at the end of 2021. Then, in early 2022. It kept get pushed later and later (I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't please her case with WB that she could drum up more excitement for it the longer she played the PR relationship game as Harry was becoming more and more popular as his tour continued and as Harry's House was released).

The shoot went a full month longer than expected (partially due to Covid, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was due to the mess that everything was because of her). Then she literally checked out completely in terms of post-production and was so busy being a rock star girlfriend that the movie needed to be re-edited and shown to test audiences at least three times (with all reports being leaked pointing toward a disaster). Then, somehow Warner Bros decided to cancel every single movie it was making except DWD (and some movie starring the Rock that I can't even remember the name of now) and pushed its premiere to the fall when all the big Oscar contenders are released (as if. LMAO!) and somehow got it to the Venice Film Festival.

I very much think Harry's House was originally meant to be linked to her (the same way Fine Line was linked to Camille). The fact that it seems as though the Zane Lowe interview was shot and edited by January 2022 and then re-shot at Coachella in April of that year tells me everything I need to know about that. He swerved hard and cut her out of the narrative completely (THANK GOD).

[thorntopieces]

assorted pjo/hoo headcanons

part 1 - part 2

autistic!will. i mean. i was one of the first people to write it (and post it on ao3, but i had stuff about it on my long gone old blog before then). this is true. to me. it's not incredibly obvious unless you know what you're looking for because 99% of the time he's eloquent and very passionate and maybe it's just the hyper healer in him and he'd like to think he passes well. but for people who know they can just tell. it's the voice, man /gn. gives you away every time /lh

pots!hazel. she ends up (mostly!) recovering from the fainting episodes associated with her flashbacks but still faints and feels unwell a lot of the time. she spends a lot of her energy and magic on staying conscious and aware, leaving her foggy and with flare-ups. will ends up diagnosing her half-way on accident during the three days nico stays in the infirmary. she doesn't faint a lot, but she will frequently have her vision black out when she stands and feel nauseous if she has to stand still for more than ten minutes (more or less depending on the day). together with jason and nico the three of them make up the fainting trio

reyna speaks excessively formally and politely when she's uncomfortable and the moment she feels safe around you she will just loosen up completely. it becomes very clear very quickly how much of her time is spent being uncomfortable

genderfluid!lou ellen. most of the time she's happy to be referred to as a girl, but some days it just feels wrong and she prefers to be referred to either gender-neutrally or masculinely. it's not something she's out about to anyone but her closest friends, partially because there's kind of enough stigma around being the child of hecate and also, it's not all that obvious, even to her.

nico is a bit like a social interaction vampire. he's not as shut off as others seem to think, he just needs to be given explicit permission to talk about his interests because he's worried about annoying other people, especially after bianca essentially abandoned him. he could talk for hours and hours about his special interests (because yes, he's probably autistic too) like mythomagic (he picks it up again with percy's encouragement), ancient languages and literature

will and katie (gardner) friendship. they bond over liking star wars and when lou ellen join their circle she manipulates the mist to recreate scenes from the movies. as she gets better at it she manages to make the light sabers glow, much to will and katie's delight

after the battle of manhattan and will/kayla/austin almost dying from being overworked, the camp gets together with mr d and chiron without the apollo kids' knowledge and figure out how to run the infirmary in a more sustainable way than just forcing apollo and athena kids to be there. eventually they settle on apollo kids doing 8-hour shifts but none at night unless someone is severely wounded. for the night shift, other campers work in rotating pairs where one sleeps for the first four hours and the other for the last four hours. a lot more campers gain appreciation for the amount of work the apollo (and athena) cabin put in to keep them alive and healthy and the apollo cabin doesn't die of burnout

t1 diabetic!kayla. she's been sick with it since she was six, but thanks to having a very supportive dad and a team of professionals around him considering his status as an olympic archer, her condition is well-managed (most of the time, war time is unpredictable) and she knows how to treat and manage it considering her demigod lifestyle. accompanying headcanon to this: while ambrosia and nectar is mostly to heal injuries and wounds of a divine and/or serious nature, it can short-term manage blood sugar. mortal intervention is always needed to fix the problem though. a bit like how narcan delays but can't entirely fix an opioid overdose

cecil wasn't properly accepted as a child of hermes at first considering he didn't express exceptional skills at the more obvious and everyday traits associated with the cabin (multilingualism, athleticism, thievery). first when he was found to accidentally being an exceptional saboteur was he properly accepted by the rest of his siblings. due to this he tended to hang out with the unclaimed children in the hermes cabin rather than his own siblings, especially lou ellen

hjs!cecil (hypermobile joint syndrome; double-jointedness). he's not good with most physical activities because of this and easily discouraged to even attempt most sports due to how his cabin alienated him for not being exceptionally agile, a trait associated with their cabin. it's not uncommon for his wrists and ankles to not work well (such as the twisted ankle in boo). however, he feels like he "compensates" for this by working in the shadows. when properly encouraged and supported, he prefers fighting with knives (close combat or throwing), relying on being obnoxious to throw the enemy off

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

elliot ludwig headcanons:

he's short. not SHORT short but he's less than average when it comes to his height

smoked a freaking LOT. man's lungs were like a freaking furnace, he only stopped smoking as much as he did after adopting poppy

speaking of poppy, he 100÷ dotted on her. gave her everything she asked for, spared no expenses. poppy was SPOILED, but elliot did manage to raise her to be a good person who's thankful of what she has

he knows how to sell an idea, he has the people smarts, he knows how people work, but he would rather interact with people he already knows than to meet new people. not that anyone besides poppy ever knew of this

poppy learnt how to manipulate others from him, and it wasnt even intentional, elliot just wanted to be sure his daughter knew how to navigate herself in a world that wasn't always kind

to me he legit loved children and legit never ever EVER wanted any of the experiments do be done. i think this adds a good layer of tragedy to the game and it's more meaningful than "the guy shoved children inside toys for the funsies" theory

yes he was always very good with kids, man had infinite patience with them no matter what happened

had no romantic relationships after his divorce, mostly because he worked too much. only stopped working as much after he found poppy

his weight fluctuated between slightly chubby to average for most of his life

always wore the same combination of clothes, always used the same mug, etc etc. he was a man of habit

also hated throwing things away thanks to living through the great depression. if something can be fixed he will fix it

WWI war vet, has some bad flashbacks and episodes from time to time

designed the smiling critters when he was on his 70s, but died before they could be made. playcare was reformed to add in all the critter stuff during the late 80s

was quite a charming man, probably someone's bi awakening, but elliot himself never cared much about this sort of thing. he had a wife, then they divorced, and that was it. could have gotten married again if he wanted to, tho

VERY proud of his engineering knowledge and way of doing things, please do not question his methods, he's too stubborn to change them

100÷ tried to do the "if you hurt my daughter i'll make sure you regret it" talk to the first guy poppy dated, but ended up bonding with him over a shared interest of airplanes

kept his wedding ring around, despite everything

[natsuki208]

An Appreciation Post for Bertholdt Hoover - he just broke out of his shell!

Look at this monster. The very colossal beast whom kicked off the story and caused thousands of deaths and fear inside us, the audience, years before.

But underneath it all…

He’s a total cutie! ☺️

(fanart from Pinterest)

Okay, jokes aside, this poor boy was surely done dirty like a lot of characters in this show. But what makes Berty different from the others is that he was literally the main threat since the beginning.

Well, his titan form was. In the beginning he only shared a fake story of why he and Reiner joined the camp and… that was it. The rest of the talking was done by Reiner and Annie became the bigger focus later that season. He had a few lines every now and then but he was just a harmless background guy.

By the time of season 2, he really started to actually do something! And that literal big thing was the iconic reveal.

But even though he’s responsible for the deaths of thousands, including Eren’s mom, he clearly showed signs of guilt and admitted that this was never something he would’ve chosen if he had the choice. However, through it all, he knew there was never an option. This poor boy is clearly suffering but in different ways from Reiner and Annie were.

(Look at his face!)

During his return in season 3, he’s been given a little pep talk from Reiner, to handle things by himself for a change, and he actually followed through. Throughout his conversation with Armin, he knew it was stalling time for the other scouts, he handled a 1-on-1 against Mikasa of all people, and nearly nuked the whole area.

That shy boy from before had grown to be a confident, yet sympathetic warrior by the end, knowing the cruelty of the war they are all a part of, and that could’ve led to a much interesting character story if he had survived.

…

But NOOO! He had to get eaten and be reduced back to background, forgotten extra again! Not even the flashbacks to his youth expanded on his character or motivations. There were some interactions he had but those weren’t even animated. Now we were just stuck with a depressed Reiner who barely did anything but mope and getting his ass whooped by everyone.

(I’m not gonna bother going into how he was also used as a bargaining chip for Armin to get the girl in the end)

So to recap: Bertholdt was a guy who had the potential to grow from uninteresting to strong main threat to formed ally by the end, but was quickly tossed aside and buried when his character was fleshing out.

I still love him for who he is, but i know he could’ve been so much more if Isayama didn’t favour Reiner. So again happy birthday to you, poor Berty.

[dundeey-art]

How would you interpret prowl as a romantic partner? Especially IDW prowl

my friend, this is the question of the century. youre asking me to answer one of life's greatest mysteries. every day i knock on my friend's barred doors, and i demand they answer my very same question...: How would you interpret prowl as a romantic partner?

now, if i was a writer, and if this was a headcanon blog, i would give you a neat little list of headcanons that would make your heart flutter. unfortunately i am not a writer, so i can in no way paint a beautiful picture of a world in which prowl is your lover in a sweet 200 words or less. instead i wrote a stupid essay for you that doesnt even answer your question... hah. after another hour of typing i actually did more or less answer your question

so, you say "especially" IDW prowl, but IDW prowl is unique (and all i think about), so this is just going to be about IDW prowl.

let me just say that i started writing and i couldnt stop, so i accidentally ended up with a bunch of bullshit that has nothing to do with what you asked. i kind of like the bullshit though, so i'm not deleting it. just scroll down until you see "the headcanons" if you want to skip past my nonsense.

i used to have trouble envisioning prowl as a romantic partner because of the way he's portrayed. i bold that last part because it is specifically the way he's portrayed that makes it difficult to envision him in a romantic setting, and not necessarily the way he is as a character. what i mean by that is that prowl is always shown to be in extremely stressful situations and in environments where the stakes and tensions are high. nevermind personality, we don't even get to see how he is when he's relaxed, when he's not under threat. i suppose we get a glimpse of that during the flashback that shows him working with chromedome, but even then he is 1. performing dangerous work and 2. shown interacting with someone who is more so a colleague than a friend. even then, that is a prowl from the past. we don't know if that is how he would still act "today" (by which i mean the end of IDW). since then he's gone through millions of years of war, and that doesn't just come with trauma, but all kinds of growth and change. so we can't just fall back to pre-war prowl for our headcanons - we have to focus on present-day prowl, trauma and all.

i also want to say that i don't like the way i see how a lot of people headcanon prowl as a romantic partner. again, because of the way he's portrayed, people tend to default to a cold, mean and distant partner. someone who lacks empathy, communication skills, something about "emotional intelligence"? i've even seen people headcanon that he would be abusive... yikes. i think what people tend to forget is that prowl is not a villain. he does act distant to the people around him, but that is a pretty common personality trait that a lot of normal people in the real world have. so while he can be a little rough around the edges, i'd say hes just a normal guy who is, just like anyone, capable of developing romantic feelings for someone. still, prowl has some key traits that are undeniably him, and i try to base my idea on that while staying as loyal as possible to the canon.

the headcanons

i don't see prowl as someone who would fall in love easily. but when he does, it's intense. prowl is shown to have one goal throughout the comic: it's to attain peace. that goal is his world. i think that in a similar way we can imagine how he might be when in love - his partner, the object of his desire, would become his world. i think he would love his partner with the same kind of intensity that he is shown to have in various situations.

i think he would like to have you rely on him; he likes to be depended on, to be trusted. he wants you to leave everything to him, and he would take good care of you. that's not to say that he wouldn't trust you to take care of yourself. however, he might have a tendency to be a little controlling and overprotective - but really, it's because he cares a lot about you. he wants to prevent harm from befalling you at all costs. he might have to learn not to be so worried about you all the time. can you blame him though, after everything he's seen? if prowl lost you, he probably would not be able to move on.

i can imagine prowl's lover, and love in general, having a certain effect on prowl. you bring a kind of warmth out of him. you make him let his guard down. when he's with the one he loves, he can finally relax. he's not under threat and he's not constantly being scorned - you are essentially his safe space.

the thing is that love can bring a side out of people that you might not normally see or expect. you can imagine almost anything within reasonable limits. maybe, as a lover, prowl is soft spoken and sweet. maybe hes playful. or maybe he's not one for verbal but physical affection. honestly, it was hard for me to tell you exactly how i imagine him as a romantic partner because i like nuance, and i like to be open minded to those infinite possibilities. still, i did my best to paint a picture for you. 👍 this just took me two hours so i hope you like it

[harryinramshackle]

Oh my god 2025 ummm what the fuck amirite (it's not even for me yet it's over 10pm)

Okay so um hi hey hello. What a year huh (at least for me). So wild I transed my whole gender like damn the she/her to he/him pipeline was so real but ANYWAYS

I already said quite a bit during Christmas here but I would be lying if I said I didn't have a million more things to say. Even more to some certain mutuals/friends that have really been nothing but kind to me. Some old ones, some recent ones, I can't list everyone but I genuinely just appreciate any amount of support and love, big or small.

I've been thinking about whether I should directly say a few things to some mutuals/friends for a while (and I already have to some, but I don't mind repeating myself lol), but I think New Year's is the perfect chance to do so.

Apologies for the tagging in advance SUDISAHFIUHISDE

-

@crystallizsch I have already expressed to you how much I appreciate and grateful I am to you for encouraging me to make this blog, way before we had ever even interacted. I love you a lot buddy, you're absolutely the best<3

@oya-oya-okay OYAAA OYA OYAAA!!! I love you sm my darling friend, your kind words and support have genuinely been some of the biggest reasons I pushed through this year. I know the latter part of this year has been really hard for you, but I want you to know you have my support for whatever you need <3

@viperbunnies YOU HAVE MADE ME SOBBED SM ESPECIALLY WITH YOUR GIFTS. I sometimes go back to see your art of my persona or my oc just to make myself feel a little better. Ty for making me feel part of this amazing community (PS. I still get shroompocalypse war flashbacks/j) <3

@fell-e We have mostly chatted on Discord recently and legit you're one of the funniest and nicest people I've had the pleasure of talking to! I can't wait to interact more in 2025, you're such a nice person to be around <3

@lficanthaveloveiwantpower Hi Nah! We don't interact really one-on-one, but the kind words you've given me have always made me smile. You're one of the biggest reasons I got comfortable with openly self-shipping and sharing my thoughts about my f/os. And don't even let me mention how much joy your art has given me, you're seriously one of the best artists I've had the pleasure of being mutuals with <3

@theolivetree123 I'm a sucker for your ocs I won't even lie they're always so creative and fun! Still remember the time you asked to be mutuals and I just DIE/pos. It really was a pleasant surprise and I look forward to every post you make, whether it's art or just talking about your ocs and dynamics! You're extremely creative you genuinely inspire me a lot <3

@sunnysidesevenup I KNNNNOOOOWWWW we became moots pretty recently but like. You're so cool dude wtf. Legit freaked out when YOU followed ME first. I got cold feet about following you back for a while ahaha.....but I'm so happy I did you're such a fun dude I love your creations so much too (low-key biased towards Tilly...I love him sm and for what...)

@jadelover69 MIMI YOU ARE SO FUN, JUST SOO FUN TO INTERACT WITH YOUR WHOLE ENERGY IS SOOO SDUBHDSJNAGISBSJDH/POS your reblogs always make me giggle, even if it's just you straight up dying <3 Tysm for showing so much love for my creations, it means the absolute world

@summerspook You madman. I can't believe we've been friends for almost 2 years online. You have helped me through so much stuff, sometimes I even felt guilty about it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being one of my bestest friends, talking to you is one of the main things I look forward to every day, I can't express how much appreciate you and our friendship <3

-

OKAY THIS IS ALL FOR NOW there are more of you but I can't articulate my thoughts and feelings the best, but either way I love and appreciate all of you with all my heart.

New Year's has slowly lost its meaning for me (I'm neutral about it) but at least I get to use it to show my application to the people who have been with me this year, mutual or not tbh <3

Also if you wanna say something back but not publically, dms are open for mutuals <3

[effieotto]

Do you have any Haymitch headcanons?

I don’t know if they are good, but that’s my Haymitch Headcanons…

• Twelve was a conservative District, because they were the farthest District from the Capitol, so they preserved some of the traditions from the old days, like religion. So Haymitch was a very christian boy (at least as much as he could be in that dystopian world), cause his mother used to pray every night with him and his brother. (Effie once asked him to teach her how to pray, because she enjoyed how calm he felt when he was doing it)

•After a year of just drinking himself to oblivion in Twelve and not having to go back to Capitol for mentoring, Haymitch got bored and decided to do something to pass time, apart from keeping his geese. So he decided to help the few people who were living there. He helped Sae with her new restaurant; he joined the crew who were rebuilding the District; he went hunting with Katniss sometimes and stayed with Peeta at the bracketed when he was understaffed and needed some help.

•He doesn’t hate all the people from Capitol. Just like Katniss learnt how to warm up to her prep team, Haymitch didn’t generalized his hatred as well. He directed his rage only for the ones he knew deserved, like Sponsors and Game markers. Actually he found them silly and funny, and made jokes with Chaff about how they looked like domestic animals.

•He is the godfather of at least one of Hazel’s, children, because they were childhood friends, but he wasn’t present in their lives, cause he didn’t want to be close of children who could be ripped.

•he and Effie had the tradition to share a bottle of whiskey in silence every year after losing their tributes, and he found sadly amusing how she always joined him, even though he knew she hated whisky

•He wasn’t a jerk! Haymitch behaved like his mother taught him to, so he was educated with the people he thought deserved it -not mannerism, but simple little things like saying thank you and sorry. However, he could be a total asshole when he wanted, and he did it often to push people he didn’t want to interact away, like most of the Capitols and his tributes

•Haymitch and Katniss’s mother had a good relationship because her father saved his baby brother when he had chickenpox once, so when Katniss was reaped he wanted to return the favor

•after their tributes dies, he, Chaff, Seeder and Effie would take some days off and do something fun to forget the tragedy of that all. So they would play poker or pool, drink and have a fell broke laughs

•Haymitch learnt how to play guitar when he was a teenager, and after the war he was the one to play the Christmas songs for Katniss and Peeta

•He likes to have control during sex to avoid flashbacks from his appointments with Capitols

•He is a great dancer, and he rock the District and the Capitol dances. However he hates to do it in front of people cause he doesn’t like the attention

•he couldn’t look at Mrs Undersee in the eyes, because she looked too much like Maysilee

•He adopt a wild cat after the war cause he enjoyed feeling him purring in his belly when he was sleeping

•He asked Peeta’s help to plaint some flowers in his yard after the war for his mother and his girlfriend, cause they both had flowers names and he wanted to do something nice, like Katniss did for Primrose.

a have some more but i think it was already too much, so that’s it lol

[phoenix-king-ozai]

Honestly I'm more impressed when reading fanfics in ATLA how Ozai is constantly tormenting his kids(sexually, physically, emotionally) like 24/7. Personally Ozai struck me as the type of person to not really focus on his kids beyond honing in their skills, especially if that kid is Zuko.

Seriously if Zuko never spoke during the war meeting Ozai probably would've entirely ignored him. When we see what Ozai's ideal version of Zuko is like when he's under the impression Zuko killed Aang, Zuko is legit silent and basically sits there like furniture during the meeting.

Also I struggle to see Ozai interacting with his children beyond training since that's probably where Ozai's expertise lies more than parenting. Ursa was probably bench pressing the parenting duties until Ozai told her to leave and even then, I imagine Ozai left other people to do the more tedious tasks like servants or what not.

I believe that Ozai, Ursa, Zuko, and Azula including the entire Fire Nation Royal Family have very complex relationship dynanamics with each other. I believe that over time Ozai began to develop feelings of affection, care, even geniune love for his family. However, since Ozai has been raised to be a ruthless, cunning, manipulative vicious warriors since his childhood. Ozai and Ursa maybe be Fire Nation Royal and Noble by blood. However their personalities and background environment extremely differ. Which is why Ozai is so much colder, cruel, and brutally ruthless compared to his wife Ursa and even brother Iroh. Ozai has been personally brainwashed and socially conditioned since childhood by the Fire Nation Elite and Fire Lord Azulon to become the man that he is today. Compassion, Morality, Peace, Pacifism and Mercy are signs of Weakness and MUST be eradicated and eviscerated. However, during Zuko and Azula early childhood Ozai was more gentle and fatherly towards his children and husbandly towards his wife. Ozai was never some sadistic wife and child beating that the ATLA Fandumb tries to horribly make him out to seem like! It just their Abuse Porn Headcanon Fanficition Obession!

Zuko mentions that Ozai and Ursa along with their family used to be happy, and we saw that in Zuko's flashbacks. Yang, just decided to make Ursa a victim because in his mind: URSA IS A GOOD WOMAN! OZAI IS A BAD MAN! SHE MUST BE HELD HOSTAGE BY THE EVIL ABUSIVE MONSTER!!! While Ozai and Ursa arrange marriage does make sense and was confirmed by the creators. It doesn't mean that Ozai and Ursa's relationship was ALWAYS BAD, or SHE WAS KIDNAPPED! Plus, the Urzai relationship is quite normal in the antiquity of Asian societies that the Fire Nation is based on aka Shogunates of Japan and Imperial Chinese Dynasties!!!

Ozai HIMSELF stated in the comics that he tried to be a good father to Zuko and Azula during their young childhood which is canon to flashbacks that Zuko has in the show. Zuko HIMSELF also stated that Ozai tried to be a good father to him and Azula. WHICH ALSO EXPLAINED WHY ZUKO TRIED SO DESPERATELY TO GET BACK IN HIS FATHER'S GOOD GRACE AGAIN AND REGAIN HIS FATHER'S LOVE! So, in conclusion, Ozai did love and care for Ursa, Zuko, and Azula. Despite, according to the comics he was ALSO FORCED into an eugenics experiment with the granddaughter of his grandfather's old rival and friend. On the orders of his father Fire Lord Azulon and the wishes of the Fire Sages. I believe that Ursa did alot of the child rearing when Zuko and Azula were toddler with Fire Nation Royal Servants helping her as well. However, Ozai was a active and positive influence as a father for his children in their early youth. Why would Zuko desperately want to return to the Fire Nation and his father if Ozai was just a cruel, harshless, bastard to him? Ozai, Ursa and the children used to enjoy the time at Ember Island with theater plays and playing on the beach at their family's summer house.

Ozai's harshness and ruthlessness regarding Zuko have nothing to do with Ursa or Ikem's forbidden love! Ozai wants Zuko and Azula to both prove themselves. Ozai doesn't favor Zuko or Azula. It is about which child will succeed Sozin, Azulon, and his legacy as future Fire Lord. In fact, Ozai doesn't want Zuko or Azula to think that they are the “favorite” child. He wants Azula and Zuko to improve through competition. Because of the “only the greatest of pressures can forge diamonds” & “steel sharpen steel” mentality. Ozai has the mentality of an imperialist warlord. Ozai isn't trying to be the world's most loving and caring father but rather continue and build upon a powerful and dominant legacy that his forefathers had created before him. He wants Zuko & Azula to be cold, ruthless, heartless, vicious, and brutal imperialistic warmongers like him (Ozai), his father (Azulon), and his grandfather (Sozin). As far as Ozai and Azula is concerned, Zuko is a disgrace as Firstborn of the Firelord. Ozai had some hope in the past for Zuko which is why he didn’t Exile, Assassinate or Banished him during his childhood or during reign as Firelord until the Agni Kai duel. Ozai was originally shame of Zuko for possibly being a non bender. Fire Bending probably means everything to Fire Nation Royalty and Nobility, even Piandao [probably noble] parents abandon him for being a non bending because it would be a disgrace. Ozai was probably going to disown Zuko for being a “non-bender” that was born on a Winter Solstice and Premature. High Fire Nation society is all about power, dominance, intimidation. 

In Fire Nation Elite Society, the Agni Kai between Ozai and Zuko was socially justifiable in the eyes of the of the elite noblity. The burning and banishment was cause by Zuko breaking sacred Fire Nation tradition in a War Meeting that he wasn't invited for!

HE IS A COMPLETE FAILURE OF A FIREBENDER AT 14 AND HAS NO MILITARY EXPERIENCE AS A GENERAL YET HE HAS THE GALL TO CALL OUT GENERAL LI PLANS FOR BEING TERRIBLE?

INSULTING AND CRITICIZING A HIGH RANKING WAR GENERAL WHEN HE SHOULD HAVE NOT BEEN THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE ACCORDING TO IROH!

REFUSING TO DUEL (ANIMATED ATLA) OR HOLDING BACK (NETFLIX ATLA) IN A SACRED AGNI KAI DUEL WHEN COMMANDED BY THE FIRE LORD AND HIS IS OWN FATHER!

Extremely hot take...Yeah, I know. Granted, Zuko was MORALLY RIGHT about the Fire Nation troops being sacrificed on the battlefield for victory, but SACRIFICES ARE COMMON IN FUEDAL ANCIENT WARFARE which the Fire Nation is based on! Tokugawa Shogunate Japan, Yuan Mongolian Empire, Tang Dynasty and etc. Which were Imperialist and Absolute Monarchies. Robb Stark and Napoleon did the same thing and are considered great generals!

Was the plan immoral? Yes, but the Fire Nation genocided the Water Tribes and the Earth Kingdom for decades. Morality is the LEAST of the Fire Nation concerns especially when you can sacrifice a platoon of inexperienced fodder to capture a massive town or city and flank the powerful EK army. Firelord Sozin also had no issue committing genocide against hundreds or thousands of Air nomads during the beginning of the war, the same can be said for his son Firelord Azulon genocide of the Southern Water Tribes and his raids on the Earth Kingdom and Seige of Ba Sing Se!

Ozai's distaste and despisement of Zuko have NOTHING to do with Ursa and Ozai's arguments in ATLA Canon even in the Comics Ozai was simply saying that to hurt Ursa's feelings and gaslight her over bullshit letters. Ozai views Zuko as a disappointment of a son, firebender, and prince. His skills in Firebending are pathetic compared to his sister's and his morality from his mother and later uncle is out of line with Ozai and mainstream Fire Nation Elite Imperialists. If Zuko was a ruthless and cold-blooded killer like Azula and was at least just as good as his YOUNGER sister, then Ozai would NOT HAVE ANY PROBLEM with Zuko as his son and heir! Zuko represents everything that Ozai was raised to hate and resent; compassion, morality, mercy, weakness, etc. Ozai hates his son for incompetence as a firebending warrior which is antithetical to Ozai as the strongest firebender in the series along with him being an Agni Kai champion along with the morality and softness that Ursa and later Iroh fostered in Zuko. The fact that Zuko doesn't conform to their society's warrior culture and morality bothers his father since Ozai was likely forced to conform since his own childhood under his father Azulon’s reign. Ozai probably resents that Zuko has his mother and uncle's affection whereas Ozai as a child probably didn't have his mother, Ilah's love to protect and care for him from Azulon's wrath due to her death in childbirth. Iroh got to experience his mother's love and presence along with his father's respect during his childhood, something that Ozai never had. Ozai resents his first-born Zuko and relates far more with his second-born daughter Azula who is neglected like him.

[morn-yvri-winters]

Fun CogDis Fact [+ Some Theory Crafting & Regards to Lore itself] (STORY SPOILERS... for a 15 year old fan-game)

So i was doing some data mining (as in looking inside of the game files for fun to see how the game ticks and works, and boy howdy let me tell you, RPG Maker 2003's UI scares me, props to Otherhand for navigating through these... many variables, numbers, & symbols going on, because it honestly overwhelms me) I had learned that:

Cerue appears in the Maria & George Magicant Flashback as one of the background Gieegs behind the windows. While this most likely is just a matter of reusing sprites, it should also be noted that not all Gieegs in the "allthegoogs" sprite sheet actually get used. Like, i want to say around 3/4ths of them actually ever get used (there are a total of 4 Gieegs in "allthegoogs".

(UPDATE 1: She's actually present for one more scene, i think? For whatever reason, her event handler has two pages but she appears for both pages, from what i can guess, she is meant to be the Gieeg that appears during the sequence where Maria & George are walking down the hallway [i think i want to say when George wants to show off the mental amps to Maria, since they share similar variables "0049: maction", which is meant to be the activation of an event via some number inputted by some handler)

(UPDATE 2: Yep, she is present for the scene when George & Maria head to the giant vault door to then breach using the Mental Amplifier Device, yet she doesnt seem to look, which could mean Otherhand forgor to make her turn or she wasnt meant to be there)

Another fun fact, the two Gieegs (referred to as goog 1 & goog 2 internally) that appear when Giegue has his overstimulation moment by Maria's Melody are actually using Giegue's Sprite Sheet (referred to as "Newgiegue")

(a part of me wanted to say its probably due to Giegue being the only "stock-standard" looking gieeg to have a moving sprite, but that isnt even remotely true since the gieegs from "allthegoogs" ALSO have walk sprites as well)

...the fact that the misc googs dont get used here either really feels like there was some manner of implication there by the dev. Personally i feel like its meant to imply that this is Giegue's actual parents but that would be a MONSTROUS conclusion to jump to, especially when there is ZERO mention about the BG Gieegs other than them appearing in scenes and the "(They're watching)" interaction.

Actually, the only real plausible theory to make here would be that Cerue was around for the Human Caretaker Experiment/Goog's Arrival to the Solar System. I mean, the fact that she knows about Giegue and refers to him as an anomaly, seems to imply she knows a LOT more about Giegue (as in a majority of his history/biography) than what the player already knows (who he is, what he is, what he becomes, etc.), in addition, she has a Starman in a chamber and seems to know about their origin/capabilities, even calling their transformation into Starmen a mistake yet compliments the design itself.

Which reminds me of something else, the timeline of events in CogDis which are awfully questionable in terms of order (at least for 1 to 4):

"QUESTIONABLE" TIME OF EVENTS

(190X) - The Gieegs arrive to the Solar System and successfully neutralize the Martian's Space Station's Inhabitants to ensure they have the element of Surprise on their hand.

(190X) - The Gieegs arrive to Mars and engage in war against the Martians. They are successful in doing so and assimilate the Martians into their Army/Empire as the "Starmen" (?).

(190X) - Maria & George find Giegue out in the wild, they are then kidnapped and Maria is supposedly in a mini coma for over a week??? Regardless, George & Maria take care of Googie (also George works out some arrangements with the Gieegs to make sure that everything is comfortable to their liking).

(190X) - 2 or so years later, the event occurs, Maria gets Magicant'd and George runs away with the Mental Amplifiers.

(190X -> 198X) - Mother 1's Back Story involving George's Return to Earth occurs and eventually leads to the events of Mother 1 itself (also apparently PSI spreads out across Earth itself?).

I refer to this as being "questionable" as I am highly unsure as to whether or not the Gieegs were the only ones present on the Mothership OR if the Gieegs had done Mars dirty, assimilated the Martians into their Army as the Starmen and then went to Earth.

Personally a part of me wants to believe its potentially the former, as them getting pissed off at Humanity and taking it out on the Martians seems fitting in terms of MOTHER/Earthbound Logic (problem is that this wouldnt really align too well with the Mars' Data Log).

However it might actually be the latter considering that the Gieegs come from outside the Solar System, and by this time the Martians are the only one with a Space Station/Satellite, them getting neutralized by the Gieegs feels fitting, as the Gieegs themselves REALLY dont like it when another race has PSI (or at least, if they do, they dont like them being a potential threat to their goals, whatever THAT may be).

[tl;dr version of this paragraph, either they got super pissy and took out their hate on Mars or they are the equivalent to the Viltrumite Empire from INVINCIBLE and neutralized Mars so nobody would know and potentially warn others who about their arrival]

(now im thinking of the "THINK MARK! THINK!" meme in my head but with Giegue & [insert fitting character role here])

(Also if you're wondering why i've come to such a strong assumption about the Gieegs, it mainly has to do with a friend of mine bringing up a really good point when i was discussing lore stuff about my sona's world (aka the one in my pfp and which i have a ref sheet to), that being "Why would a race that seems peaceful, need weapons of mass destruction to defend themselves? That would imply that they aren't peaceful in the slightest or have blood on their hands." and it sorta stuck with me. Like, the best example I can currently think of is: An alien race comes down to Earth and says "we come in peace" and then pulled out a nuke and vaporized an entire forest after one deer spooked them; thats sorta what the Gieegs feel like to me whenever i think about them now, CogDis obviously doesnt make them peaceful and afr kind of 'shifty' but Official Mother (Game) Lore never actually quite describes what their intentions even were in the first place, only that they were afraid of Humanity having access to PSI and that Giegue needed to stop them)

Actually, i find it even more weird as to what could have possibly had occurred to the other Gieegs. So if we were to go by the theory of "Cerue being around", then there was probably at least... Three to Four unique Gieegs total?

(Hell, maybe there could of been even more aboard the Mothership for all we know, considering that when Maria is running through the halls, she mentions that the aliens on board all sorta just looked at them without stopping them, never brings up if they were just other Gieegs or what, just that they were being observed)

We know Cerue could have potentially disembarked at some random point (maybe potentially after the Human Caretaker Experiment OR after the Mars Invasion, depending upon which happens first) and goes into hiding on Mercury, basically collecting various creatures from around the Solar System (some either being alive or dead).

We do not know what happens to the other 2 to 3 Gieegs except that they were present for the Human Caretaker Experiment & The Invasion of Mars, as they were most likely responsible for the majority of opposition & were described as being all-powerful by the Mars Super Computer's City Records, so I imagine only a few were needed to take over.

Giegue is the only one around on the Mothership (excluding Niiue) but doesn't know where Cerue went.

(...potentially, Niiue's dialogue about him knowing that she doesn't want to meet him could imply that he's referring to his true identity as Giegue & knows that Cerue possibly sensed him but as Giegue and not his own unique being, which is why she said she only trusted the Applechasers [the main 4] and doesnt try to erase their memory).

(WARNING LINKS LEAD TO FANDOM WIKI, CARRY A BLOCKER) Oddly enough, the fandom wiki for Earthbound has a really interesting tidbit of a theory regarding as to what Giegue's Race even was or what may have happened to them (since after Mother 1, Giegue's People gets ZERO mention), mentioning that after he returned to the ship, he may have ended up killing his people in a fit of distress & deterioration before eventually transforming into Giygas, but its fandom wiki so take it with a tablespoon of salt.

(if youre wondering "why not use WikiBound?", it mainly tends to be game information rather than like, external media information..? Idk, i personally feel like i found more substance to Giegue's Fandom Page than compared to his WikiBound Page)

something i will mention however, is that the fandom wiki uses a lot of information from the novel for Mother 1 (apparently?) as a means to sorta fill in information regarding events that occur between the games. Also its the only wiki with a page regarding Giegue's Race, also this really cool illustration of the Mothership:

Anyhoot, I'm done rambling now, i just sorta wanted to share this because it was on my mind. Gonna stop now before my brain overheats and combusts from thinking too much, also i am hungry, its lunch.

(UPDATE, 12/23/202X, I've realized Cerue's Sprite has different opacities, which might mean that she's been sticking around quite a bit when George makes his discoveries & when the two escape)