#and merlin is gonna be there too ig

[flintsilvers]

fucking insane

[irishyuri]

the funerals these poor fuckers had to go through post-canon is something i think about a lot. survivors guilt and whatnot

[sirbarkingtoniii]

There is two dark-haired white boys living inside my head rent-free.

One has permission to be there because he is my oc but the other has snuck back in around 3 years ago since last being there when I was like... a very young teenager.

[hp-hcs]

ngl i’d lose my mind for some bottom mattheo x male reader content, there isn’t enough 🤧

(is there any at all just asking for a friend)

• smut • “best friends”, my ass (and your ass too, while we’re at it) — best friend! submissive! bottom! mattheo riddle x AMAB! soft top! reader

stuck in the hospital for the foreseeable future, so have some more shitty fanfic, my lil gayass weirdos

i’m also really fuckin high on pain meds rn so this is undoubtedly gonna be the most shameless fuckin smut i’ve ever written yw ig

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“Would you fuck me?”

Your head shot up to stare at Mattheo with comically wide eyes as he burst into your dorm room and shut the door behind him.

You managed to splutter out a very caught-off-guard, “I- what?”

“Would you fuck me, Y/n? Pretty please, with a condom on top?”

You just stared at him, mouth agape in shock. Finally finding your voice after a painfully long moment, you asked, “Are you high?”

Mattheo rolled his eyes. “Entirely sober, I assure you.”

“Then- then why are you…?”

He sighed dramatically and trudged over to your bed, falling face down onto it. “Please?”

“That’s not really a reason, Riddle.”

“Fine! Fine. I want to lose my bottom virginity, alright?”

“I swear to Merlin-” you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Why me? You can literally just breathe and have people throw themselves at you. So why me?”

“Well…I want to- I wanna try being, like…submissive,” he mumbled, obviously embarrassed. “An’- an’ I trust you t’ take care of me ‘n be gentle an’ shit.”

“Damn, alright. Yeah…” you trailed off. “Shit, I mean, I’m flattered, really. Uh, yeah- yeah, I’ll do it.”

He visibly perked up. “Wait- really? You’d really do that for me?”

“Yeah,” you shrugged. “What else’re friends for?”

“Oh, so we’re still on the whole ‘best friends’ bullshit, huh?” He snickered.

“I’m already regretting this,” you sighed, actively choosing to ignore what he said. “This is a terrible idea.”

~~~

“This was a brilliant fuckin’ idea,” you gasped as you sank into him, moaning at the sensation. He was so tight and warm around you that you had to pause for a second just to catch your breath.

Mattheo whimpered underneath you, his face screwed up in mild discomfort. You gently stroked his side, pressing tiny kisses to his cheeks and murmuring, “Oh- you’re doing so good, sweetheart. So, so good. Y��feel amazing.”

Mattheo whimpered again, his fingers tightening their grip on your shoulders.

You let out a shaky breath, trying not to lose your composure. “Baby- baby, please- can I move?”

“Gimme- g-gimme a sec?” He whispered, his voice wavering.

“O-of course, honey,” you murmur back, trying to stay as still as possible for his sake. “Take as long as you need.”

After a moment of listening to his shaky breaths slowly even out, you eventually heard a softly whispered, “Okay, you can move.”

At his permission, you slowly started to move in and out. You groaned into his neck. “Merlin- you feel incredible, baby.”

Mattheo gasped when you hit a certain spot with a particularly hard thrust. “Fuck! There- do that again!”

You complied with his request, increasing the strength behind each movement until Mattheo was a whimpering, moaning mess beneath you. He cried out your name as he quickly came, his fingers scrabbling for hold on your shoulders and his nails digging into the skin.

You moaned loudly as he tightened around you, your stomach flip-flopping at the intensity of the sensation. You made a move to pull out, but Mattheo quickly tightened his shaking legs around your hips, tugging you back in.

“Please, no,” he begged. “Need- need- please!”

“Shh,” you shushed him, running a gentle hand up his stomach and chest. “Take a breath, honey. Tell me what you need.”

“Need-” His cheeks flushed and he covered his face with his hands in embarrassment. “Need y’to keep going.”

You grinned, the tips of your ears going red.

You gripped his hips, resuming your original pace. Mattheo’s eyes practically rolled back in his skull as his jaw dropped from the overstimulation.

You grunted, speeding up to chase your high. You came with a low moan of his name, your orgasm hitting you out of nowhere like the goddamn Hogwarts Express.

Your arms shook and gave out as you collapsed on top of him. You panted heavily before pressing a soft kiss to his forehead and pulling out; rolling off of him and onto your back as you tried in vain to catch your breath.

He grinned and curled into your side, his slow and steady breaths warm against the crook of your neck. You both sat in a comfortable silence for a long moment before Mattheo interrupted it.

“So…best friends, huh?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Why don’t you make me?”

[spraypaintstainonawhitewall]

INTROOO

Hey yall! the name's Icarus (or Saturn or Zero im not very particular), I use any pronouns (but mainly they/them). i generally post whatever thought is in my mind and occasionally my fanfics. very very rarely i post my art.

I am in wayy too many fandoms and I won't create separate blogs for all of them. enjoy.

basic dni if youre homophobic, transphobic, sexist, ableist, racist, zionist or a creep just dont come near me. this is 100% not a space for you. also dni if you ship waycest, venomcest or if youre a gaylor. and dni if you hate any of my interests. im not gonna bother with you so dont waste your energy

pretty trigger happy with the block button

DMs: send me an ask if you legit wanna talk (if we aren't already moots)

Asks: always open

tags: please

also if I don't answer your asks or if you tagged me in anything and i havent done anything about it it's nothing against you I'm either just thinking of a good response or I forgot that i didnt respond to it yet. its a 50/50 chance of either or.

tagging system: its a work in progress but if im yapping i tag it with #hey im talkin here, asks with #asks (ill come up with something better later), and anything else appropriately

my ao3 is @/downtown_fangirl please go read my fics i spend a lot of time on them (you can find me talking about them and the lore on here on #fic talks)

my ig is @/iliketosuffertwice.creatively but im rarely ever active on there

! ! IN THE FACE OF EXTERMINATION SAY FUCK YOU ! !

anyways, fandom rundown list:

Music: My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, Taylor Swift, Conan Gray, Olivia Rodrigo, Chappell Roan, Alec Benjamin, Dove Cameron, Green Day, Pierce the Veil, Black Veil Brides, Billie Eilish, The Neighborhood, Mad Tsai, Em Beihold, Cigarettes After Sex, Panic! at the Disco (technically just Fever), Sabrina Carpenter

Books/Shows: Percy Jackson, Shadowhunters, Grishaverse, KOTLC, Umbrella Academy, Hearstopper, Merlin, Young Royals, Good Omens, All for the game, Hunger Games, Hamilton, AGGGTM, Dead Boy Detectives, Lockwood and Co., I am not okay with this, Cobra Kai, probably more but i cant think. you'll know.

[worth-this-and-more]

Do just think Bree and nick pov because Bree going be with Erebus and nick going be with gang. William and other people. I think Mariah going be love interest for one the twins or Alice or valec. I Ava actually going spend time a lot oathbound because Tracy deonn she big in interview. Sel going be the book. Mariah or valec going find bree

[spoilers for legendborn and bloodmarked, read at your own caution ;)] im so sorry for the delay i was really caught up in studies but here I am now!! thanks for the ask!!

yeah main reason i think it's gonna be two povs is because for the first time the story is gonna be split at two different places, one with bree and one with the gang. so yeah the first pov is obviously bree but the second could be either nick or William. high bets on nick tho because he was absent the majority of last two books so yeah.

yeah mariah could be developed as the love interest, but it would need some more time ig. she had some scenes with alice too but it was more in a group setting so maybe we'll have to wait yk.

ava definitely would be seen a lot more because at the end of bloodmarked nick managed to talk her down from killing bree and obviously everyone would be questioning him about what the hell does he know of them?? and also the legendborn gang did team up with the morgrained for their intel and help so they are definitely gonna stick around. ava might become nick's love interest, if selbree is endgame, but if not then I feel like ava could be a potential threat because she definitely wants to kill bree.

about sel i think he's not gonna be the main focus but he's out there killing merlins so maybe nick will try to find the cause of the merlin's death and team up with sel again or something?? it could help build their dynamic healthily and maybe we will see them interact outside of bree too yk. they have a lot to talk about.

and i really think bree is gonna try her hardest to not be found by anyone, and even shadow king has kept his whereabouts hidden from her and anyone tbh, so there's that. I'm curious to how he will handle the disappearance of bree as erebus, but maybe nick will figure out something is off eventually about him?? mariah and valec could find bree but I feel like sel is eventually gonna team up with them first and this new gang is gonna go after bree, but that's just my theory rn.

[castelled-away]

Ok, so. I noticed something while obsessively thinking back on BBC Merlin & the scattered memories I have from some of the episodes (Yes, I know I need to rewatch it & I’m gonna, but I have to prepare myself for pain first)…

Elena is called Princess Elena with full name because she’s the daughter of King Godwyn & Mithian is Princess Mithian for being the daughter of King Rodor. BUT Vivian, who’s also the daughter of a king, King Olaf, is never spoken to with the title of Princess, just Lady Vivian. Why tho? What makes her different from the other 2 girls????

I may have an explanation for this ig:

Morgana, when she’s still Uther’s ward and not known as his bastard daughter with legitimate claim to the throne (haha suck it Arthur), is ALSO called the Lady Morgana bc she is at least to outsiders not of Uther’s royal blood & therefore can’t use the title of a princess.

So maybe Vivian isn’t of royal blood either? Although, Olaf is so protective of her & calls her his daughter, so those 2 kinda have to be related or otherwise connected.

Here’s where my theory comes in:

Maybe Vivian really isn’t Olaf’s child by blood, but only his wife’s. As in Olaf’s wife had Vivian with another man & Olaf just said fuck it & started treating Vivian as his own anyways. Maybe bc Olaf is infertile & that was the only way they could think of to get a child.

OR she isn’t of noble blood AT ALL & from a normal peasant family & Olaf adopted her for whatever reason (dead parents, famine, disease etc. you name it), which would be really wholesome, BUT it would also paint Vivian as this hypocritical meanie bc of how she looks down on non-nobleborn servants like Gwen if she HERSELF were not nobleborn either. So I don’t really like that 2nd theory. I mean yeah, Lady Vivian is an (unreasonably) mean & classicist egomaniac, but I don’t think she’s that much of a hypocrite. That would just publicly hurt her ego too deeply, as it would surely be well known that Olaf adopted a „lowly born“ peasant girl. Like srsly, imagine! ALL the kings & noblemen would have held that fact over Olaf‘s head at EVERY royal banquet/outing/political gathering, so Vivian would have really had to stay in line & not say overly much on the topic. BUT SHE DIDN‘T. She was a bitch & talked openly & loudly about being soo much better than her subjects (poor Gwen rlly she deserved better)

So in conclusion:

I like my 1st theory, in which Olaf & Vivian aren’t related by blood & she is from his wife’s side of the family, better. Bonus, if it is due to Olaf’s infertility. That also makes Olaf‘s overprotective & caring nature towards Vivian all the more sweeter bc I would LOVE to see representation of non-traditional families/families with adopted children in media. Plus Olaf is a good father, ok? We SEE that in s2e10. He spoils his lil’ brat of a daughter bc to him she’s probably perfect despite all her flaws & she ONLY deserves the best & NO MAN will ever be good enough for her (fuck off Arthur, go & marry Gwen).

Great, now I’m crying. Idk man. There’s just something about Olaf being a good dad & loving the awful Vivian with all of his noble, selfish heart, that brings tears to my eyes, thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[caruliaa]

hiii! hope your life's less stressful than last time, i'm sending good vibes your way < 3 really glad you saw puss in boots and liked it - i loved it too, it was so great! the colors the animation the characters the messages... they really flexed on that one. oh and also (gotta stay true to my cs-obsessed nickname, which isn't hard, i'm hooked as ever)... CARULIA FUCKING SWEEP!!!! (currently obsessively checking out the poll)

HAII CS-OBSESSED ANON !!! and um this week andnext i have mock exams so 😭😭 thats stressful esp bc the ones i have next week are all squashed into two days but at least its mocks not the real thing and i have study leave for these two weeks and the exams r monday and tuseday so that means i have no school for the other three days (kinda. ill still be at school doing coursework for my art classes but i prefere that to lessons and esp exams) so yk. silver linings ig FGDFHDF and YES HOLY SHIT that movie is so so incredible i havent been able to stop thinking about it since i saw it its soso good !!!!! and YEAS CARULIASWEEP !!! im gonna be honest iv been having so much fun with this like. even if they dont win then seeing them be neck to neck with fucking bbc merlin and the way ppl r coming together to vote for them is genuinely heartwarming to me not to be sappy over a tumblr bracket but it makes me happy <3

[snakeskins-world]

I was gonna put this in the comments for your question abt a Harry Potter SGE crossover but it was too long ANYWAYYY

so I’ve actually seen one of these and they started off on the Hogwarts Express (it was a Hestadil thing tho not much Sophie and Agatha or Tedros), but I also think it would be cool to start at the station and kinda show each character leaving their families, or if they don’t have families. So like Tedros and maybe Merlin? And then Agatha and Sophie could show up together and Anadil could come in with her fancy rich family (idk why but in every fanfic centered on Anadil or the coven everyone just kinda makes her rich af) and idk just other ppl ig. It could potentially be chaotic but it might also be nice to start at when the characters get sorted into their houses?

I’m shit at fanfic recommendations since all my writing is from me and I make up all of my characters lol

Here’s the link to that Hogwarts fic for inspiration:

apparently the link doesn’t work so just go to Wattpad and look up “School for Good and Evil Hogwarts au” and the first thing that pops up should be called “Hestadil Shorts” and if you click it and go to the table of contents there should be a Hogwarts section.

I did read this but I didn't respond. It didn't let me. I've gotten the idea and they're gonna be separate schools and I've gotten an idea to start it off but this genuinely helped! Thank you!

[morganadismay]

inspired by my partner in crime @bisclavret and her re-inventing of morgana's arc i have decided to unleash my thoughts irt a version of bbc merlin which preserves the spirit and whimsy of season one, while allowing morgana, merlin and gwen more agency. instead of rewriting the show as is, though, i went with a thought experiment of what would happen if merlin was raised by balinor and so was moderately more self-aware than in canon. and so here is

my bbc merlin rewrite. let's go.

episode one.

little MERLIN grows up with BALINOR instead of hunith.

he's still fundamentally goofy and accident prone but he has a few more survival skills bc they’ve been living cave to cave and he understands/controls his magic better

he is, however, still lonely as balinor is a touch paranoid and off-putting (like dragon like dragonlord ig) so he doesn’t have any "real friends"

moving on. for plot reasons, balinor must go - he passes away when merlin is 18 or 19.

and so merlin starts hearing THE DRAGON in his head as his sitting in a cave alone, sniffling.

kilgarrah: MERRRRRLIN. destiny awaits. avenge your father. all hamletlike. 

grieving and angry merlin does some mental math and deduces the dragon isn’t dead as his father claimed/believed and decides his life mission is to go to camelot following the dragon’s voice and break him out

in camelot merlin meets ARTHUR and calls him out on his bullshit the same way as in the show but does not let anyone put him in stocks. instead he hides at GWEN's who takes a liking to him — they bond over agreeing that arthur is an idiot

in fact befriending gwen is what stops merlin from following kilgarrah’s his og plan to take revenge on uther and have the dragon wreak murderous havoc on camelot bc he is shocked to realise there are innocent people there 

(don't be too hard on him. he'd lived in a cave with a resentful banished father for most of his life.)

at night, merlin breaks into the dungeons and meets kilgarrah at last

the dragon is like fucking finally my liege and tells merlin abt emrys and destiny and the once and future king and how he should avenge his father and reclaim camelot with arthur in the golden afterglow

merlin is like um? no.

instead he tells kilgarrah that sure he’s going to free him but then they’re going away together to have adventures as a dragon and his dragonlord that merlin and his father never got to have on account of balinor’s depression and hermitage (kilgarrah squinting at him like how do i make this about my political agenda but he rolls with it for now) and how it’s going to be awesome sauce.

kilgarrah then informs merlin he needs a sword forged in dragon’s breath to cut through his chains

merlin: no chance i can just spell the chain gone - dragon: did u think you can just walk in here and get me out - merlin: well yes

so merlin has to stick around grudgingly to get the sword but hey! he already knows the blacksmith’s daughter and he has a vague plan of getting her to help him

in the meantime he meets GAIUS who jumps at the chance to try and brainwash him (i knew your mother, bla bla, bla bla great man your father was, you must never tell anyone about your magic and stay here in my line of sight where i can monitor your suspicious proceedings) but merlin again is like umm. bye. and steals a bunch of potions and gaius’s spell book instead 

he fucks around a bit, perhaps running into arthur again and causing more problems and issues while arthur tries to get him with his mace. history repeats itself etc. etc.

merlin goes back to gwen and asks her to make him a sword, telling her he's gonna try out for a knight. gwen (after witnessing all the above) is like ...right. BUT she's compelled by the idea of actually Making a sword on her own so she agrees and tells him to come back for the sword in a few days.

while the sword is being cooked, merlin accidentally saves arthur in the Saucery attack from the first episode. he regrets its sorely when UTHER promptly makes him arthur’s manservant  

appalled, merlin tries to speed up both gwen (who's like. no merlin. i can't make it faster.) and the dragon but the latter finally senses his chance at stirring shit up and insists merlin needs to stay put until the sword is ready.

episode two.

so merlin has to stay in camelot for now. however, this merlin is not here to fuck around. he's a dramatic 18 yr old who thinks he's in hamlet. he's not about to polish any swords here or muck out stables.

so instead he does a REALLY bad job at being a manservant. like on purpose horrible job, worse than in the show, basically being like i dare you to fire me. fire me. you want to fire me so bad. he sets things on fire. insults visiting nobles. serves arthur rat for no reason. arthur is entranced. 

meanwhile, as merlin is running around the castle being a terrible servant his interest in piqued by MORGANA who looks ill and nervy (her nightmares literally worsened due to his proximity). merlin questions gwen innocently and she tells him about morgana’s nightmares and potions from gaius

merlin like [squints] that shady old conker? giving her The Loathsome Slumber? that’s suspicious

but gwen is also not stupid and she’s like [squints back] girl what were you doing at the devil’s sacrament knowing what Loathsome Slumber is?

one night, as he's sneaking back from the dragon's cave, merlin witnesses a bad one of morgana’s nightly attacks as she sets her room on fire. he helps her douse the fire but arthur finds them

weird and deeply awkward situation ensues but merlin is not a class traitor here so he pretends he doesn’t know what’s going on and doesn’t rat morgana out. which gives morgana hope.

she confronts him next day like you KNOW what i am. say it. SAY IT. and instead of gaslighting her merlin is like yeah you have magic lol sorry. yeah they’ve been drugging you for years. king’s gonna kill you probably. my condolences truly. and leaves morgana to her existential crisis.

meanwhile, gwen's sword is finally ready and merlin is like thank fuck time to bugger off to my beautiful dragonlord adventure in a far off land and never see this decrepit stinky castle ever again!

as he prepares to depart, morgana is busy acting shady around her chambers and doing the equivalent of i will be your friend till the day i die to gwen who’s squinting at her suspiciously and doing more mental maths

at night, merlin sneaks back to the dragon. unbeknownst to him, however, morgana follows him down there. after witnessing the dragon-breath sword-tempering she reveals herself dramatically and begs merlin to take her with him.

kilgarrah well and truly hates the idea he’s like a woman aboard a ship dragon is bad luck and it is the witch’s destiny is to ruin camelot but merlin is like i literally couldn’t care less about camelot 

morgana is like please merlin. i’m fucked. you said it yourself uther’s going to fry me. you made my life SO much worse just by showing up you OWE me this. i can no longer hide my magic now that i know about it. don’t leave me here. you know what it’s like to be scared and alone. [huge wet eyes.] bear in mind, merlin has never had a friend before, let alone a magic user friend.

so he caves. FINE. on the condition it’s only to escort her to the druids and dump her there 

he dramatically cuts kilgarrah’s chain with the sword

aaaand they fly off with a huge bang and ruckus.

while they were in the dungeons, gwen found out that morgana is missing and decided to wake up arthur (because gwen also doesn’t have any friends on account of spending every waking second with her dad or morgana)

gwen: my lord some foul shit is afoot - arthur: awhat ?

they're interrupted with a huge bang and ruckus.

as they rush to the courtyard, gwen, arthur, uther and all and sundry see the dragon flying off in its full glory. while merlin had ordered him not to kill anyone, kilgarrah's loophole is that he still batters the castle and makes their exit everyone's problem

arthur: what the devil! - gwen: sire i think the beast took morgana and merlin - arthur: why would it take MERlin - gwen: sire i think he’s a Saucerer - arthur: MERlin is not a saucerer. etcetera.

episode three.

fast forward: kilgarrah deposits morgana and merlin on a forest clearning and flies off to eat sheep and drink himself silly on fresh river water 

merlin sticks gwen's dragon sword in a rock bc he’s like well i don't want this water bottle anymore

after whining aplenty he finally agrees to teach morgana a little magic as they pick a cave to sleep in (morgana: people are going to be searching for me we should lie low for a while - merlin: NOW you say this??? - morgana: would you have let me come along if i said it earlier? - merlin: NO) 

over the next days, they make their sneaky, slow way to the nearest druid camp. merlin keeps grumbling about morgana painting a huge target on his back but she’s like *cheerfully* i’m pretty sure the dragon was a huge target anyway!

still merlin keeps being like [bad cop voice] you can’t stay with me! we’re not friends! if they find you with me they’re gonna burn me at the pyre! i’ll help u w magic and get you to the druids and we won’t EVER see each other again and morgana mostly ignores him

unfortunately, by the time they reach the druid camp, uther's knights have already slaughtered everyone there aside from MORDRED (arthur saw him and panicked/hesitated long enough for mordred to run away)

mordred telepathically beams at morgana and merlin that the knights were looking for the king’s ward and morgana is devastated by the fact that she caused the slaughteting

so merlin finally drops his emo act and is like morgana listen to me this is not your fault okay uther is a tyrant first and an irredeemable villain second to which morgana is like merlin we need to take mordred with us i owe him this at least and merlin hates that idea but then he’s like. ok but we ONLY take him to a second druid camp and then i drop both of you there because that’s his 1 idea for dealing with everything and morgana is like sure whatever

kilgarrah hates this even more than he hated morgana, he’s like MORDRED will KILL ARTHUR but merlin is like dragon i literally don’t care if arthur lives or dies. anyway where are the druids

and so merlin and morgana begin escorting mordred to a different, more remote druid camp

rewind to the castle, where uther announces that morgana is dead by the druids' hand to the people of camelot.

gwen, sick to bastard death of uther's shit, accosts arthur being like but sire you said there was no sign of her at the druid camp and arthur is like uhh yeah. and gwen is like don’t you think it’s unfair to just give up on her? just because your dad was like “she’s dead now” don’t you think there’s a suspicious lack of a dead morgana? - arthur: i didn’t think of that

so arthur goes to uther and he’s like don’t you think we gave up on morgana a tad quick but uther holds up a hand like son. the girl has clearly fallen prey to the foul beast after being corrupted by vile magicks. it is done. go whack some squires. and he seems all in all very content with letting matters lie

arthur relays this back to gwen. 

gwen: well sire i think you ought to grow a SPINE and SLAY THE DRAGON to AVENGE MORGANA because she deserves avenging. or you’re NO PRINCE AT ALL - arthur, sweating a bit: alright whatever you say fair guinevere 

so gwen makes a plan. she and arthur steal another one of gaius’s/geoffrey’s olde books and make up a beast to slay that requires a noble knight and fair maiden in attendance 

"The Beast of the Noble and Maiden" arthur tells uther confidently

and they proceed with the secret mission to avenge morgana, and gwen proceeds with her even more secret agenda of moulding arthur into a decent person

episode four.

back in the forest, the three almost identically pale dark haired sorcerers with a name starting with M finally reach the druids who welcome them warmly and say cryptic things about emrys and his destiny. this makes merlin uncomfortable and so he harshens the vibe for everyone involved 

he agrees to stay the night bc the druids insist to Celebrate them but fully intends to leave morgana and mordred there and sneak off at first light bc he’s a strong independent woman

however, morgana has a night vision of everyone in the village dying, herself being burnt at a pyre in camelot and merlin becoming lonesome and foul if she stays behind. she wakes up just in time to see catch merlin sneaking off.

she runs after him and begs merlin not to leave her with the druids. i can’t stay with them and endanger them, she says, and i can’t go back to camelot.

not my circus, not my monkeys, merlin says ruthlessly.

but then morgana is like surely you don’t want to be alone? wouldn’t you like to have a friend?

merlin is scowling at her, engaged in an internal battle between being committed to the bit and being painfully lonely, and of course in the end gives in (on account of the being painfully lonely.) FINE, he says. whatever! if we DIE it’s all your fault anyway.

and morgana breathes out in relief. they start to make their way through the forest away from the druid camp

when morgana sees a flash of camelot red between the branches in the distance. it's the knights! morgana says. we need to warn the druids! - merlin: there's no time. what we need is a diversion.

they hide behind a rock and then merlin goes OOOOOO DRAKON (which nearly gives morgana a heart attack) and they make a big fuss riding the dragon in the opposite direction of the druid camp

a few paces away from them, gwen and arthur do indeed see the dragon flying off

THE BEAST! arthur yells, waving his sword at the clouds. the druids will know where it went! gwen argues, dragging him the other way.

kilgarrah, merlin and morgana land by a cave in the mountains, not unlike the one merlin grew up in. kilgarrah grumbles about not being a horse and them botching up destiny, and generally fuck them kids. merlin tells him to get lost again.

they sit at a fire sniffling. thank you for not leaving me there, morgana mumbles. whatever, merlin says. i guess if we’re friends now. or whatever. - morgana in a small voice: yeah i guess if we are. they don’t smile at each other but smile at the opposite cave walls when they go to sleep.

meanwhile in the druid camp, the druids are glaring daggers at arthur. the vibes are tense. arthur is confronted painfully with the consequences of his father's actions and his own complicity as he learns almost everyone at the camp was affected by the raids, many children missing parents.

this time, however, uther is far away and gwen is with him so no druids are harmed and in fact they get a semi-official apology and a promise to do better.

arthur and gwen even help the druid village fend off some danger in a similar manner to the episode where they visit merlin's village.

the druids are grateful, and say more cryptic things about the once and future king and fair queen quinevere, which embarrasses them both profoundly.

all the same, the druids deny ever seeing a merlin or a morgana

(though arthur does see mordred staring at him like O_O a r t h u r . e m r y s   i s   n i g h)

in the end, gwen and arthur set off to avenge morgana again, pursuing the trail of the dragon this time

episode five.

morgana and merlin’s rat girl summer proceeds: they live in caves and eat vermin and berries and he tries to teach her magic and they’re mostly like tee hee :)) friendship

they have some magical adventures: for instance, they befriend a lad called GWAINE while camping out in old castle ruins. some magic seems to be weaved into the castle walls, as gwaine seems to think they are some sort of lord and lady

(perhaps gwaine is in the middle of his own story, experiencing a version of the Green Knight's quest - and perhaps, merlin and morgana become part of his quest, as lord and lady bertilak - and perhaps, he basically has to kiss them both)

(and then they confess they’re just yanking him about and he’s like you guyssss :D are we friends now :D and then he goes to complete his quest but promises to come back)

things seem to be looking up. at least until morgana’s bad dreams return and merlin refuses to make gaius’s fuckass potion for her

furthermore, morgana seems to be hiding something from merlin and looks ill and nervy again.

in a culmination of the growing rancid vibe between them, morgana pulls a merlin and runs away at dawn.

merlin panics and spends most of the episode chasing her down/trying to scry for her. he feels bad and thinks it's his fault for not helping her with the dreams.

when he finally finds her, morgana is halfway to joining a pack of rogue travellers who are very clearly trying to rob her. merlin fights them off and drags her away: i'm sorry! but they shouldn’t have done that! it was wrong to try and keep it from you and it’s dangerous. i’m sorry about your dreams but i'm not gonna drug you! - morgana: fine i’m sorry too i didn't mean to be difficult i just hate the dreams! - merlin: fine! - morgana: okay! - merlin [unable to hold it in]: well why did you leave then i thought we were friends or whatever!

morgana grudgingly reveals she's been having visions of possible futures where she is the downfall of camelot and merlin poisons her and then impales her on a sword down the line after they both try to kill each other repeatedly.

merlin is like. uhh. ok yeah that's pretty fucked up.

morgana, wiping at her eyes, is like. i don't want to kill you. and i don't want you to kill me. but maybe it's our destiny. so i thought maybe i should leave after all.

but this merlin is a little bit more radicalised against the idea of destiny and also really keen on his independence so he's like. well destiny can't tell ME what to do. and so i simply won't poison or kill you.

morgana glances at him and reveals she also heard the voice of a a Woman telling her she is uther’s illegitimate daughter and that he coerced her mother into having her and is now spreading the rumour that morgana is dead 

merlin is like he really sucks ass sorry morgana. if it makes u feel better my own father is dead - morgana: no merlin it does not make me feel better. [wet rat silence]

morgana, getting a grip: so i guess we shouldn’t worry about being pursued. - merlin: won’t arthur go after you though? - morgana, sadly: no he won’t.

(BUT GWEN WILL!!!!!)

episode six

morgana and merlin are back on track, vaguely concocting a plan to find the woman whispering in morgana's dreams and learn something new about their supposed destiny that's not coming from kilgarrah or the druids. it sounds like a good plan, all in all.....

………..until they stumble upon arthur, UNCONSCIOUS, in the forest.

what happened was this:

after stumbling around the forest in circles in search for the Great Dragon, arthur and gwen encountered the Beast of the Noble and Maiden (the beast proved to be real bc life is funny like that)

the Beast instantly loved gwen terribly and decided that arthur was not worthy of her, after which it proceeded to kidnap her

while arthur tried to rescue gwen back, he was first bit by the beast and then — after gwen fooled the beast with negotiations of coming to visit and then stabbed it with arthur's sword — clobbered by bandits who proceeded to kidnap gwen again

back to present day.

morgana [disappointedly staring down at her brother] is like: i don’t think i can leave him here merlin and merlin is like [sighs] yeah ig we should move him to the cave before a bear eats him. morgana looks up at him. really? you’ll help me? and merlin is like. [scuffs shoe.] well it seems he did try to find you or whatever so maybe he doesn't suck that bad after all. - morgana: now let's not get carried away he does in fact suck.

still, they drag arthur up to their cave but arthur is not only clobbered but also dying from the beast's venom. merlin rifles through the books he stole from gaius and learns about the beast of the noble and maiden. after an argument with morgana over who's doing what, he runs off to get the mortal flower or whatever it was that arthur got in the show 

NIMUEH shows up and initially tries to kill merlin when he reaches the cave - but seems surprised by the fact that he is not prince arthur, which throws her off balance and lets merlin disarm her

(there is an implication of some sort of glitch; as though something else was meant to happen here, like in the realities glimpsed by morgana. nimueh seems put off by this.)

uther does not deserve your aid or compassion, she says eventually, when merlin emerges with the flower. - i know, merlin says. i'm not doing this for uther.

before leaving, he asks nimueh if she's the voice speaking to morgana but she denies it before disappearing. merlin hurries back to the cave.

there, morgana and merlin revive arthur with a spell and the power of flower friendship

he wakes up and freaks it 

first, arthur thinks he is haunted by a vengeful spirit of morgana - until she slaps him in the face and tells him to think and that she was never really dead

then merlin comes in with the equivalent of a breakfast tray and arthur is like [points] FOUL SAUCERER. YOU KIDNAPPED this fair maiden and more importantly LIED TO ME!!! and morgana is like shut up arthur no one kidnapped anyone i have magic and i’m functionally a nomadic druid now

morgana does some half-hearted explaining while merlin performatively eats what was meant to be arthur’s breakfast. 

but the beast bit me, arthur says at last, remembering. how am i even alive?

yeah you were basically dead meat, merlin says cruelly. going green already. STINKING.

arthur: you saved my life then - merlin, glaring: yeah can’t think of why. didn’t want morgana to cry i guess. she had to beg me. i wanted to LEAVE you to rot. (morgana punches merlin on the arm.)

arthur stares at merlin then at morgana and is like so youre just living in a cave. with him. willingly.

we’re temporarily unhoused you privileged fuck, merlin says. because of wrongful accusations-

arthur: wrongful-you STOLE a DRAGON.

merlin: your FATHER stole MY FATHER’S dragon and kept him CHAINED in the DUNGEONS for NINETEEN YEARS-

SHUT IT both of you, says morgana.

merlin leaves in a huff under the pretence of checking in on kilgarrah. he's in a foul mood: arthur makes him feel contrary and impulsive and he secretly thinks morgana is going to forgive her brother and run off and leave him Alone Again and he’s like i was foolish to get attached my father was right to live in a cave i hate everybody

meanwhile, arthur: are you sure this wanker didn’t kidnap you - morgana: no you’re still the only wanker here. merlin is actually really sweet he just has some issues to work through. - arthur: SWEET. are you two COURTING - morgana: no he’s like a brother-[she pales a little remembering the real life brother situation] i mean um. we’re alike.

arthur tries to add 2+2 but fails. meanwhile morgana is like [clears throat] thanks for pursuing and avenging me nobly or whatever. didn’t think u had it in you.

then arthur is finally like [sitting up] SHIT!!!!!!! Guinevere!!!!!!!!!!!!!

episode seven.

anyway meanwhile in guinevere’s tormentous nightmare. arthur gave her his cloak before they encountered the Beast of the Noble and Maiden (like morgana in the actual episode) so the bandits actually think she’s morgana (again!) and want to ransom her 

however arthur is beast-bit and clobbered and uther is ignoring the ransom note bc he actually truly would rather morgana stayed dead so gwen’s in a bit of a pickle

but that’s how she meets LANCELOT who is suicidal!in cenred’s kingdom

after lancelot swears fealty to gwen, she gets him to steal a sword for her and they're halfway to escaping when they're stopped again. afterwards, it goes roughly like the original episode - only this time, it's morgana who saves the day, intent on avenging gwen in return for avenging her in the first place.

she helps gwen and lance escape while arthur and merlin become too wrapped up their goofy henchmen antics to be useful.

it's no matter. gwen is like [breathlessly] MORGANA…… and morgana is like GWEN.....

eventually, they all make their way out of the bandits' lair.

at first gwen is suspicious of merlin but then morgana is like he's my friend! look! i’m okay! i missed you <3 and arthur looks alive and unclobbered so she softens.

poor lancelot doesn’t know who to be more wistfully jealous of (arthur bc he’s the prince out to save gwen supposedly or morgana bc gwen’s clearly enamoured w her) but this time a) merlin really doesn’t give a shit about who gwen marries so he doesn’t meddle and b) gwen is already playing 4d polycule chess in her mind, having planted enough future policies into arthur’s head she now wants to keep micromanaging him forever

and so gwen bids lancelot to return to camelot with them and lancelot is like my lady it’s an honour i would love to die for any cause for a good cause. fight i mean.

generally this time round it’s merlin who’s suddenly having a shit time bc everyone else seems relieved and ready to go back to stinky old camelot while merlin is like well i don’t wanna. so while they're all sitting by the fire having a laff, merlin goes off to sulk with kilgarrah who’s like my dragonlord i very well told you so. and merlin is like i wish i never went and freed you you ungrateful unhelpful old dragon.

eventually, morgana finds him and is like what’s wrong and merlin is like nothing im glad i’ll finally get rid of you and can go on my dragonlord adventures. ALONE. [sniff]

there's a beat and then morgana is like well i still want to dethrone uther sorry but i also don’t want to stay and rule camelot after i want to go on magical adventures like you. and merlin is like [sniff] fine i guess i can help kill uther a little.

so they set off for camelot and gwen and arthur live in a parallel universe where they are going to peacefully explain the situation to uther who will be like oh my god you guys. MY BAD!!! or maybe vote him out while morgana, lancelot and merlin are like off to commit regicide

however, on the way there, they are intercepted by a mysterious knight errant.......

episode eight.

MORGAUSE has been running around looking for morgana in a huge panic bc merlin popped up like a mushroom in the rain and somehow beat her to finding her

disguising herself as a knight, she challenges arthur to a fight. just like in the original episode, he accepts the challenge, and then loses the fight. morgause then reveals herself (eliciting gasps from both morgana and gwen) and invites him to a three-task quest to prove his valor.

multiple people try to stop arthur, but he insists it's a matter of his honour. everyone wants to come with, and he initially agrees, but then sneaks off on his own before dawn, determined to prove himself ALONE.

(merlin follows.)

the first task involves arthur getting a sword out of a rock. conveniently, there's one just nearby. arthur pulls excalibur out of stone, and he's almost content with achieving it ALONE when merlin bursts out of the bushes. merlin is committed to being anti-prophecy and so he's like arthur she's lying to you i just put this sword there in the rock the other day this doesn't count.

morgause comes back smirking then and reveals the second task, which is to hunt and kill a unicorn. merlin hates the idea and does everything he can do to convince arthur not to do it, even as they find one in the forest. arthur is torn, wanting to pass the quest, but ultimately cannot do it in face of merlin's indignance. he lowers his bow. the unicorn escapes, and morgause appears again beckoning them to the third task: finding their way out of a labyrinth.

after making their way through the labyrinth and a lot of complaining, arthur and merlin find themselves in a strange place by the sea. two goblets stand on the table. morgause reveals that one of them contains poison.

merlin tries to convince arthur not to drink the poison, but arthur is like you saved my life twice. merlin bristling: yeah don't let it go to your head. i wouldn't have to if you stopped getting yourself into these situations. they go on like this, but ultimately merlin still falls for the age old "look, there-!" and arthur chugs the "poison"

after a moment of dramatics with merlin clutching the unconscious arthur again, morgause reveals that the cup was not poisoned and that arthur passed the task.

finally, morgause is like alright fine pendragon you passed my riddles three. wouldst thou like to have tea with your mother.

episode nine.

on their way out of the labyrinth, morgause, arthur and merlin are apprehended by morgana, gwen and lancelot.

a lot of mutual distrust is still simmering - especially on morgana's side, as she has recognised morgause's voice from her visions - but eventually they all board the little boats to travel to the isle of the blessed to chat with the phantom of YGRAINE

ygraine, the icon she is, still uses her 5min window of existence to bitch about uther one more time for good measure and even sprinkles in a little bit of info about morgana’s mother and morgause being her sister just for a cuntier touch

only this time no one really has any objections so when arthur is like im going to KILL my DAD merlin is like [bites his lip] okay i guess u can have the favour of my magical dragon sword. if you wanted. [shrugs offhandedly]

before they set off for camelot, morgause invites morgana to stay with her to learn magic and eventually become a High Priestess. morgana is overwhelmed, and suddenly torn between a family member who claims her as opposed to uther, gwen who is throwing her shy looks, and merlin. she awkwardly tells morgause she will think about it and morgause gifts her the anti-nightmare bracelet.

afterwards, they set out for camelot.

given that there are people with braincells around this time round, instead of just charging at uther screaming murder, arthur shows up in front of the council and challenges him publicly, daring his father to deny his deeds or stand up in fight.

uther cannot deny his deeds in presence of morgause, and has no choice but to stand up in the fight.

arthur defeats uther: he wounds him but does not kill him, and instead banishes him from camelot.

(he will get enchanted and marry the troll catrina soon after and live out his days in a bog)

afterwards, arthur is crowned king. gwen and arthur come up with an arrangement and marry, and the queen guinevere has a consensual workplace relationship with the knight lancelot and the witch morgana (who is only at the castle part time, splitting her time between learning from morgause and accompanying merlin on adventures) both

soon enough, gwaine, elyan and percival make it to camelot.

and so the round table is formed, only this time everyone is considerably better off and less mentally ill.

as for merlin, he gets to both keep his friends and have his dragon adventures.

he and arthur also unite albion (yuck) or whatever.

the end.

[merlinssaggyyfronts]

its the moment yall have been waiting for!! the start of my weekly merlin doodles cuz i get bored in school extremely easily!

part1/part2/part3

[bi-furiosity]

having unfunny jokes i would usually put on twitter but cannot bc i had to uninstall twitter for now is the worst like... where do i post it. here?? i have a pristine hick brand to maintain i can't make jokes about being 'homophobic' I'll get a mean anon or something.

[artqueen02]

I was suprised by the lack of genderbent snowbaz for the wlw coc prompt so I made a thing. I litterally wrote this in half an hour, and it hasnt been BETA'd or proofread so its really short thats fun.

Cw: brief mention of breasts but in like a very non-sexual way

also dysphoria ig?

It went sorta angsty i swear that was not intended

anyways under the cut

Read It On AO3

Baz

Crowley I hate this so much. 

My hair is too long. And I cant get comfortable with these infernal breasts. Aleister Crowley. 

Some fourth year was trying to help their friend with a transitioning spell and completely butcherd it and  now everyone on campus is cursed with being in the wrong body for a day. 

Though I suppose for some it would be the right body. For some it would be more of a blessing than a curse.

Not for me.

Snow is sitting next to me, raking his (Her? His.) fingers through my hair and trying to convince me that its all going to be okay. Aleister Fucking Crowley, Snow, of course its not going to be okay, this is an absolute disaster. 

What if it dosent go away after a day?

“Hey, Baz, love? This is all gonna work out, you know? The spell will wear off after a day - maybe two at the longest - and everything will be back to normal - no, not Normal just normal”

I don’t respond

“Love? We should probably get up and get dressed now, hey? We have to get to class”

Merlin and Morganna I dont have any clothes. I make no effort to move, there’s no way I’m going to class today. 

“Okay love, you can stay here, but I’m going to go to classes today, okay?”

He moves arround the room, getting ready for the day. Once hes ready to leave, he stops by my bed. 

“Is it alright if I kiss you?”

“Yeah” No

He kisses me, and its all wrong. Nothing’s the right shape, nothing fits. I pull away and hide under my quilts. (Because I’m pathetic) (Ask anyone).

“Alright, love. Im gonna head off now okay? I’ll check in on you between clasess, if you want to talk about anything, let me know, alright?”

[donttouchtheneednoggle]

Bbc Merlin? 💜

(anon asked the same 💙)

The first character I first fell in love with: merlin :') dragonlcrd videos my beloved :')) i was like wow this weird ass rat is kinda pretty and very sassy

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: elyannnn i mean i liked him as soon as he appeared first time watching and shipped perelyan and i thinkkk perelyaine and i was so angry when he died just on principle i entirely stopped caring about what happened after but i didn't realise just how delightful he was til i went through and found all his scenes and watched them bc i wanted to do text posts for all the knights and didn't know if he (or leon, or percival) had enough canon personality (he did) (percival was a struggle as was leon kinda) ig percival too although he hasn't changed from the placeholder man i saw him as while first watching :')

character everyone else loves that I don’t: arthur except i don't hate him as much as i act, like i would commit several crimes for s1 him it's more how hypocritical, evil in his utter ignorance, and honestly pathetic he is by s5 and how he’s coddled by the fandom. Also... im gonna get killed on sight for saying this aren't i but Merlin?? i used to and i get why but idk i'm just kinda... he doesn't interest me so much any more? i feel like there's nothing i want to add to what everyone else is doing which is GREAT btw and idk there are a lot of characters i love more :)

The character I love that everyone else hates: eira :') i adopted her for camelove day... 6 i think? and wrote her perspective of dotd and i just... i know i KNOW her plotline is the worst but she was demonised by the writers as much as any other female character and that's no reason to ignore her existence. Also idk about hate but i am a vivian stan and violent defender of her right to be as bitchy as she likes :D (except if it’s to gwen );) also people who hate mordred... why buddy? why

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: again merlin ig but also morgana. She... she's just... no. People make her out to be some feminist icon who was only bad bc the narrative portrays her that way and if she was just fighting for her people's freedom i'd probably agree. but she slaughters innocents, allies herself with all sorts of REALLY awful people whose actions she condones as long as they're not against her, tortures abuses and controls people who've done absolutely nothing to deserve it (Gwen, Mithian), and certainly by the end only cares about getting power. i... she's a villain. There's nothing wrong with liking villains of course, and i will still never forgive merlin for poisoning her, but she's not just 'misunderstood'. i used to be really big on morgana redemption but now don’t usually bother or include her in my fics bc i can’t see past what she did to gwen.

The character I would totally smooch: smooch? uhh...... lance?? Maybe??? probably not tho :/ hug however? gwen 🥺 elyan, percy,10/10 would braid gwaine's hair 🥰

The character I’d want to be like: probably gwen... tbf i relate to her a lot already i’m just not that lovely or accomplished 🤣

The character I’d slap:

[ID: A gif of goblin-possessed Gaius having a whale of a time slapping Uther’s bald head. End ID]

A pairing that I love: perelyan, perelyaine, elyaine, mergwencelot... etc etc etc  rarepairs my beloved :’)

A pairing that I despise: aside from the obvious icky stuff and shipping teenage characters with adults... there’s not many i full on Despise. If merthur wasn’t so fucking ubiquitous i wouldn’t hate it half as much but alas :’) i have a grudge against perwaine simply bc people i’ve seen actually ship it are all height difference! banter!! flirting!!! all three of which perelyan has more of in canon plus they’re more affectionate and lbr percival made it pretty clear in 4x13 who he prefers (poor gwaine sitting there mangled and percy zooming straight past him🤣) and it kinda feels like people like perwaine more for the same reason elyan gets excluded from everything else and also it gets gwaine out the way of merthur but people can ship what they want and i don’t mind perwaine objectively so ig i digress... i also don’t like morgwen set in canon era for the above reasons but i can be swayed by modern au them (@mumble-muse’s xmas morgwen fic you’re an angel and we’re thrilled you're here, everyone go read and comment 🥰)

ty for the ask! 💜

[brogues-b4-hoes]

Kingsman the secret service, first draft liveblog.

I’m reading the original draft for Kingsman: The secret service and being just blown away by how different but the same™ it is so I’m gonna list some things that made me go :0 

Huntsman and sons doesn’t really sound like a spy org. it sounds like a rustic b&b in the scottish countryside. Not a bad thing but Kingsman does sound a bit more “knightly” and “cool” 

Also Jack Lincoln is just not it. Harry Hart is where it’s at. 

SO about the ages: In this script Eggsy is 21, Harry is 49, Merlin is middleaged (I’m assuming that means like 44-45 ish), Roxy is 22, Charlie 23, Lancelot 39. 

Merlin was supposed to be “black, handsome” And frankly my first thought was “....Idris Elba?” lmao 

The medal Eggsy gets is called a Guinevere Cross and I immediately came up with a whole scenario of how the first Guinevere sacrificed themself in an act of bravery, which is why the Kingsman medal of honor is named after them. 

Lancelot was supposed to fight Gazelle before losing but ig getting cut in half from behind has more shock value. (Just give my boy a bit more screentime) 

I’m glad they changed Michelle’s whole approach to Daisy, cause in this script it comes across like she couldn’t care less about her literal toddler, which makes her kind of unlikeable :// I’m glad they didn’t do Michelle dirty like that in the final script. 

Arthur really was just a sexist, elitist bastard now wasn’t he (while looking at the candidates his reaction to Eggsy being proposed is “at least it’s not a woman, I mean wtf are all these women doing here??” .....There’s three women being proposed out of twelve candidates, Chester.)

On that note, I’m glad they ended up giving Merlin more of Arthur’s lines - mostly because it makes sense for Merlin’s character to play the part of handler besides being the tech wizard he is- but also Make! Arthur! Say! Less!

I think it’s an interesting choice to have the candidates be from all over the world, as I Imagine the agents who were abroad just chose the best person they could find from that area, and if that’s true then the other agents were away in: France, Germany, Denmark, Japan, Italy, Ethiopia, South Africa, India, Persia and America. Do what you want with that info.

Yeah Roxy was american originally lol

I’m glad they acknowledge the lack of privacy in the first dorm set up, because I always looked at that in the movie and thought “If I had to use a bathroom out in the open with eleven peers just hanging out behind me, I would simply not use the bathroom lol” 

Glad they cut the whole subplot of Harry infiltrating some bank, especially because it involved dressing up as a woman to get acces to the ladies room, which, given the current climate and the whole jkr situation would not have gone down well, to say the least. 

“That sounds exhausting” in which Harry is me. 

"Training starts tomorrow, which I will have nothing to do with. Watching people train is boring.” Spoken boldly for a guy who then subsequently shows up at every. single. training scene, Merlin. 

God I’m glad they cut the whole puppy obstacle course scene, it was just alot lol 

A lot of stuff is the same but what really stands out to me is how little Eggsy actually does on his own, in this version he only passes tests through dumb luck or because Harry straight up gives him the answers, which makes it difficult to root for him in this script. So I’m glad they changed that. 

Idk what to think about the implanted chip being a bluetooth earpiece originally, like who wears an earpiece all the time?..... Ig the writers thought the same thing in the end lol 

“Medic! We need a medic!” Me, internally: SO YOU ARE SAYING YOU HAVE MEDICS?? Merlin: “No we don’t.” me, internally: IM NOTING THIS AS PROOF THAT YOU HAVE MEDICS, GALEN IS CANON CONFIRMED

I like that Elton John is just fully in this movie, what exactly is it about Elton John that made Matthew and Jane continue to write him into both movies??? IS HE GOING TO BE IN THE BLUE BLOOD TOO? :0

I’d like to note that I do not like Elton John pelting shit at Valentine lol 

The way that they really wrote a whole Heathers the musical “shut up, Heather!” scene but with Arthur, Harry and Merlin saying “shut up, Eggsy!” I CAN’T WITH THIS SCRIPT

Broke: “Lady Gaga” woke: “Lady G’gar” (as pronounced by Arthur lmao) 

Okay so in a cut test, there’s a mentioning of Huntsmen security, which I will take as proof for my whole “The entire plot of TGC is bullshit because there had to be more staff at Kingsman than just Merlin, meaning more survivors of the bombing” 

AND THE PLOT THICKENS WITH THIS: Harry (to Eggsy): “Look, I’ll be back in a few days. Stay here ‘till then. I’ll call Merlin, and when everything’s calmed down I’ll take you in and finesse things. If we’re lucky we can get you a job in admin or train you as a pilot.” HELLOO WHERE WERE THE ADMINS AND PILOTS AND SECURITY IN TGC 

“Thank you. I’ll do anything. I’ll be a cleaner, even.” THEY HAVE CLEANERS TOO MATTHEW YOU’RE KIDDING ME

The ending is so different omg What is Happening? why is Usain Bolt, Lady Gaga, Jamie Oliver and Elton John fighting together avengers style? 

All in all: I much prefer the way they handled things in the final script because this felt a bit too much like the types of movies you write with your friends in middleschool for shits and giggles and less like an actual film you’d go see in theatres. But of course it’s important to remember that this mess led to one of my favorite films ever, and I really enjoyed the insight into the process and changes that led the writers to the final version. T’was very cool. 

Also I read the novelization of The Golden Circle and I can’t say which one I get the biggest yikes from (yes I can it’s the novel. It’s so bad lol) 

[sonybees]

me rewatching dead poets society instead of doing my assignments

i’m not sure if anyone would even care about this but i am really bored soo here we go

neil looks so down when he’s with his father stopdjejdkfjnr

poor todd got forced to stand up i would get pissed eujehd

the best preparatory school? lmfao ok.

KEATING YAY

THE PRESSURE THAT TODD HAS TO GO THROUGH I CAN SEE IT IN HIS EYES HE DOES NOT WANT THIS WTF

poor kids being forced to go there

LMFAO SPAZ

i still don’t know what a stiff means is that even what he said?

OOPS LMFAO

attractive pieces of sht leaning on a door frame help

“keen.” HA

YESSIR USJSJSJ

why does meeks kind of sound like me when i meet someone new

“he flatters me.” LOLSJNDKSHSJJSKSJDC

“i thought you’d gOne.”

freaking hell stfu tom

i’ve always thought this who calls their father “sir” ???

THE LOOK CHARLIE AND KNOX SHARE HDNEJDJF

“BRAIN DAMAGE” HSMEJD

they all look so confused like same

BRO SPAZ LMFAO

their smiles are so cute awwjdnejsnjd

POOR PITTS SHJWJS

MEEKS SMILE WHEN HE SAID AN UNFORTUNATE NAME

DING

“turn cold and die.” damn that took a turn fast

caaaaaarpeeeee dieeeeeem @siezethedaypoets (sorry! sjjejs)

“that means you daLtoN” the way he says it lfmaosjjd

i thought he was gonna do history he pulled out his chem book dhjshdbd

take a breath knox damn

them just not at all understanding math is a mood

too bad :/

AWW THE WXCITEMENT IN PITTS AND MEEKS EYES

“very funny, dalton.” hehehhehehejjdjdjfjrkdn ccmv mf

AWW MEEKS

CHARLIE WTF YOU DRAWING

RIP SHRED TEAR

RIP RIP RIP

oh shit

ahh one of my fav scenes, charlie basically eating that ball of paper

i hate looking at this it’s so awkward like hello mr. mccallister

what will your verse be?

THE MASHED POTATOS

“no, keating.” LMFAO YES GO KEATING

is that stick? on the end of the table?

“don’t come please.”

“no shIt, sherlock.” HA I LOVE THIS GUY

“pittsie, cmon!” “his grades are hurting, charlie.” i literally just love this conversation

“i’ll try anything once.” “except sex!” “ha ha ha.” HSJWJJSND ANOTHER ONE OF MY FAV CONVOS

“WOMEN SWOON HA HA HA” THE EVIL LAUGH WTF SHEJJS

“CHARLIE @tellmewhytheyswoon” SORRY I HAD TO LMFAO

LMFAO SHUT UP WILL YOU

this is so chaotic and messy damn

the treatshsjdj

they’re loud asf

i wonder who’s who while they were running with the hoods

OH CRAP THE SUN IS OUT WHAT that isn’t in the movie sorry

I LOVE MEEKS AND CHARLIE’S RELATIONSHIP SM

i could never take note of the minutes when something happens how will he do that

YESSIR PART TWO

HOW DID PITTS TAKE THE OTHER HALF SO FAST

EVEN TODD KNOWS CAMERONS STORY LMFAO

LMFOA KNOX IS STARING AT THE PICTURE

MEEKS HOOO THEN I SAW THE CONGO CREEPING THROUGH THE BLACK

THE LITTLE BOING NOISE LMFAO WHAT IS THAT

“are you a man or an amoeba?” i’m sorry lol what the hell do you mean sjdjiend

TO WOO WOMEN

“why do i stand up here? anybody?” “@tofeeltaller” HA I LOVE DOING THIS IM SORRY

i would cry if i found out that i had to make a poem AND read it aloud in front of everyone

poor todd thougsjwhidfj

i wanna marry todd. lmfao where did that come from

RADIO FREE AMERICA

AWW THEM DANCING STFU THIS IS SO CUTE

i can’t hear the audio hellloooooojdjwksbdken

AWW we got some anderperry content here

lol i wanna wear their sweaters

:/// TODD

“no.” “no? what do you mean no?” “no.” *smirks* HAJDJDJWKNS

DONT BE IMMATURE

IDK WHERE TF THE INSTRUMENTS CAME FROM BUT I LOVE IT

the birds are so pretty

nice outfit knox

STOP STARING DUDE YOU’RE MAKING IT TOO OBVIOUS CMON

“sounds to me like you’re daunted.” JSJS

TO INDEED BE A GOD

MEEKS AND PITTS WOTH THEIR HEADPHONES ON AWW

“PUCK YOU” LMFAOAJSJJDJ

i bet todd’s poem is actually great

“the cat sat on the mat.” DNDIDHJDJDJDHS i love how keating still said it wasn’t all bad though

BRO DAMN DONT CALL TODD AND I OUT LIKE THAT

lmfao todd’s just hating every second of this

“sweaty toothed madman” i can see that too whatsbjdjdjsn

THIS IS BETTER THAN ANY POEM I EVER TRIED TO WRITE GREAT JOB TODD

NEIL IS AMAZED

when keating pushed their foreheads together wtf aww father son love typa thing that’s so cutejjedujsidj

LMFOA NO KNOX TRIPPED

YAYY GOAL

wtf this seems so fun

“your parents collect pipes? oh that’s really interesting.” LFMAOOAJSJD I LOVE PITTS

poetrusic by charlie dalton

laughing crying mumbling tumbling

DAMN HES GOOD

the little kind of aggressive hair ruffle awwjendn

OOO VOCABULARY

LMFAO THE LITTLE CHUCKLE KNOX DOES

AWW THEYRE ALL SO HAPPY FOR KNOX

THE SCARFSJJD

“exercising my right not to walk.” smartass

it’s todd’s birthday and no one greeted him excpet neil stfukqbxqbcdbkrw

the first unmanned flying desk set yes yes

THEY ALL JUST STOOD UP LMFAO

merlin knox you are DRUNK

PLEASE DONT ISTG KNOX

THATS NOT WHAT HE MEANT BY CARPE DIEM

well you’re in deep trouble now

“it’s God. he says we should have girls at welton.” as much as i love this scene what the hell were you thinking my man

i don’t get how this was legal back then. wtf is it gonna do? you’re just hurting the kids bro

the pain in his eyes stop

“@dangitneil the name’s nuwanda.” pain brokqdb jdjf

CRAP CRAP CRAP MR PERRY GET OUT

the pic of keating’s wife/gf aww

neil you’re gonna make me cry stop

that is so odd why are their lockers like connected from the left side isn’t it usually from the right?

JSKSIJDEIUWKDRUEJSJX CHRIS IS SO DONE NODKDMD

that piece of bread

THIS GUY JUST SHOVED A KID CMON KNOX

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOTHING?”

AWW WHEN TODD MESSED UO CAMERONS HAIR

CHARLIE LMFAO I MENA NUWANDA

KNOX IS DONE W THEM TOO

chris is gorgeous omg

the snow in her hair stop marry me

“you are SO infuriating”

i hate how i’m just completely forgetting what’s gonna happen in like 10 minutes

PUCK

LMFAOTHEM HOLDING DOWN CHARLIE

“he’s really good.” AW YES HE IS FUCSHWMDMD

wait the holding hands is kinda cute thoughsjdnd

bro mr perry is making me want to kill someone maybe him

NEIL’S SMILE IMMEDIATELY WENT AWAY IHATE YOU TOM

damnit you idiot i hate you sm let your son live you bastard

sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sobs sobs sobs

merlin neil

IM JUST NOT GONNA THINK ABOUT THIS YK

HA HA HA NOT CRYING

SIGHS AGAIN

DEAR LORD

NO TODD IS GONNA MAKE ME CRY TOO STOP

THEY ALL SEEM LIKE THEYRE IN SHOCK NO

damn everything

SIGH WHY DIDNT I STOP WATCHING? IDFK

“it’s beautiful.” NOFNEJWGHSGEMWGE NEED WH

KEATING NO

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

charlie just sitting down not singing i hate this

i probably should’ve just stopped watching yk but i didn’t but that’s okay i think

i got so pissed the first time they said that they were gonna ask questions like??? did mr perry did no at all realize that it was his fault?

sigh cameron you aren’t always that bad but in this scene i loathe you

NO RICHARD

DAMNIT YOU MADE TODD SNAP

AND CHARLIE SNAPPED TOO YOU JUST MESSED UP TOO MUCH MAN

i hate how it went from a happy dark academia movie to this cmon

todd’s dad is so mean shut up he was just asking a question

it feels so sad in the room i hate it

the empty chairs pls no

keating’s little chuckle man i miss their smiles

BRO SROP THEY LOOK SO SAD TODD ISTG

*GASP OF HAPPINESS IN THE MIDDLE OF CRYING* HUHUHUH

TODD MEEKS STICK SPAZ PITTS KNOX GEORGE? HA I LOVE YALL

and we’re done. damn okay

thanks for reading ig fjdbshsbjwhdjsj

anyways i’m tired goodnight or morning or wtvr thanks! and sorry <3