#and maybe they will get the happy ending we fought for so hard

[adri-atics]

I’m so obsessed with Drink With Me you guys don’t understand - the resignation, the acceptance of what will inevitably come in the morning, the choice they made to stay and see it all through to the end, despite everything.

Then Grantaire says:

“Can it mean you fear to die?”

“Can it mean your death means nothing at all?”

Which are such strong and beautiful lines, but also the voice of all their fears. Maybe it was all for nothing. Maybe they died for a belief that could never be.

And yet the next verse is happy and hopeful and dedicated to camaraderie. They don’t want to die, but they will. And they chose to spend their last night with their friends.

“Here’s to you, and here’s to me.”

[jaysgirlx]

Can you do a fic based off of https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRcsG8Yu/ this TikTok when Jason and reader was talking and it got deep and he joked about off!ng himself and the reader sits with him all night just in case he wasn’t joking? Please? I love your writing so much and if this is a touchy topic feel free to ignore or correct. Have a nice day!

❝ 𝐈’𝐌 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ❞

❥ pairing: jason todd x civilian f!reader

❥ summary: Jason and you are close, you always have been so close that you thought you knew him well enough to read his mind except you're wrong about that, and what you learn ends up scaring you more.

❥ warnings: mentions of death/suicide/afterlife, reminiscing of torture, heavy angst, little fluff, happy ending

❥ wc: 1.5k

Your fingers, combed through Jason's black locks while he focused his attention on you. The two of you had moments on these where you sat together in a comfortable silence. They tended to happen when one of you was upset, usually you but tonight you could tell something was wrong with Jason. So you kept quiet and let him rest. You didn't know if late nights like these would last forever.

"How long are you going to play with my hair princess?"

"Until you tell me what's wrong Jay"

Again you both fell into a silence. This time it was awkward like maybe you should've played dumb but it was too late night to think that. Jason sighed and sat up on your couch and laid his head on your lap. You tried to remove your hand from his hair but he gave this look like this is what he needed at least for tonight.

You weren't sure if or when you and Jason had crossed the friend boundary. The two of you obviously had not slept together but you had kissed numerous times. Sometimes when he was anxious you'd kiss him just to calm him down and it worked, except for the fact you'd end up making out. Or when he would go on patrol and you were worried he would kiss you and then he'd end up cuddling you till you slept off. The kisses you both shared were like little reassurances of love. Though the two of you never actually spoke about what they really meant.

You had wanted to for the longest time but you didn't because in the end you always knew that Jason cared for you. You could tell by the way he always left you breakfast when he had to leave while you were asleep or by the way he'd walk you home if you had decided to work overtime. Jason cared in his own little way and you take what you got especially since he made the best pancakes.

"I fought with Bruce today, he took Dick's side on something and I just got mad…I know they both care, but it doesn't feel like it sometimes y'know? It still feels like they're Batman and Nightwing and I'm still Robin" He stopped himself from speaking further like if he spoke more, he'd say something he'd regret. Jason didn't want to drop all his problems on you because he knew you would listen and he knew you'd comfort him. You did so much for him and was slightly worried he was becoming too much. Jason didn't want to become a burden to you, he enjoyed spending time with you and he didn't wan to fuck that up.

"I've always got your side Jay if that helps and you're not Robin anymore okay and regardless of that, Robin didn't make you…well you" you say, caressing his face. "You're just you Jay and if they've got a problem with you well then they have a problem with me"

"Well, I think I hate myself if I'm being honest" Those words made your hands stop and now you started to really listen. You knew Jason wasn't exactly happy with his life but you didn't think he hated himself. He was so cocky all the time that you couldn't even fathom the idea of him hating himself. "These days getting up in the mornings is so difficult and a good night's rest…I don't remember the last time I had one"

"Well I think we all can relate to that, life kinda sucks for all of us Jay. Everything we do is out of our hands and it seems like no matter how hard we try we're never fully just happy"

"You got that right, the last time I was really happy was…well nevermind, But sometimes I think about killing myself"

"Well I mean we all have, I thought about it a couple of times when work gets hard but-

"No y/n, I mean like really killing myself, like just putting my gun to my head and that's it." He laughs but you still don't manage to find it funny. "I know damn well there will be plenty of people who will probably find it pretty, my brains splattered everywhere and my body lifeless"

"I'd really prefer you'd not do that Jay"

"Okay but in all seriousness-"

"I don't want to hear this Jay"

"I'd want you to plan my funeral, you'd make it beautiful and hopefully not gloomy"

"Jay is this a funny matter, stop joking around"

"I doubt there's an afterlife, seeing that I did die once and I don't remember any floating gates or firey pits"

"Jay please stop it"

"C'mon we both know without you, I'd be better off-"

"No." you said and it came out broken. Jason looked up at you, you weren't playing with his hair anymore, you were crying. He tried to reach up and your tears away but you pushed away his hand. He hadn't meant to upset you, he didn't mean it. Well, he did but he wasn't going to, not when you still cared for him. You were what he was living for. "No, you can't do that Jay"

He again tries to wipe your tears and this time you let him, he sits up and kisses your forehead wishing he had never said anything. You were his world and all he could ever ask for. Without you, who would be there for him after a bad run on patrol? or when his nightmares would start coming back? Deep down Jason Todd is scared of living, he's scared of living without you. "I won't sweetheart, I won't, I promise. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said any of that"

Now he's holding you and rubbing your back, whispering sweet nothings into your ear. The two of you fell back into your comfortable silence, while Jason made himself comfortable again laying his head on your lap. He hates seeing you that way, with that look of fear and worry. He never wanted to cause it. He wanted to say something but all those hours of patrol and working overtime finally caught up to him. He thought he'd just take a nap, he didn't want to burden you with how heavy he was, lying on his lap but he couldn't help you, your lap was so comfy.

For a while, you watched Jason and didn't know why you were. He said he wouldn't hurt himself, he promised. Still, you were scared because of the way he talked about it...it was clear it wasn't the first time. You knew he had fallen asleep, his tell was that his breathing had slowed. You picked that up when he started coming over early in that morning to nap with you. Jason was only ever truly calm when was he asleep with you.

Watching him like this felt natural like you had to do this. You knew he was serious about killing himself and you just couldn't imagine a life with him, without Jason. Gently you caressed his sleeping face, admiring how handsome he was. The things that happened to him, you knew they affected him but you didn't want to think he'd go as far as to…no you couldn't think of it.

You leaned your own body back on the couch and tried to relax. You'd stay all night with him if you had to, you'd make sure he was safe. You weekend a vigilante like him, you couldn't fight and protect him from villains but you could protect him from himself. It probably seems crazy that you want to protect Jason Todd from himself but it's all you know how to do. You're not completely sure if Jason loves you but you know that you love him.

"I will always be with you, I'm yours Jay, I'm with you" you whisper sweetly against his forehead, before planting a soft kiss. You watch him all night and he sleeps quietly and hopefully comfortably with his head resting on your lap. You didn't work the next day and you had stayed up all night before, this wouldn't be difficult for you.

Even if it was, it was for Jason and he was always worth any trouble. You wish you could tell him that but that's a conversation for another time, for now, you just want to make sure he is still alive every morning.

When Jason Todd wakes up the following morning, you're drinking what he thinks is probably coffee and reading a book. His eyes fixate on you and he reaches up to brush his hand against your face, you smile at the soft touch. HE lets out a yawn and finally speaks up, "Whatcha doing up so early, princess?"

"Just admiring you Jay"

"M'sorry for sleeping on you, and I'm even more sorry for making you feel upset last night, you're…you're very important to me y/n, and as long as you'll have me, I'll be here"

"And I'm with you, for as long as you'll have me" you say with a smile as you hand him the rest of your coffee. He drank the rest before gently pressing a kiss to your lips. Another reassure of his love

Jason Todd was yours for a lifetime and you were happy with just that.

❥ a/n: sorry this took so long anon! I kept rewriting it because I didn't like how it was going. btw comment to be added to my taglist.

❥ taglist: @meowkn, @nia-jul, @woodenanemone, @millyhelp, @yourlocalcringydaydreamer, @kazzattack, @orchidsangel

[chuuyascumsock]

Where Gay Goes to Die || Minors DNI

Summary: I have no words, and no apology because this actually slapped so hard. Let’s go lesbians lmao. Happy pride month.

Tags: Female! Chuuya Nakahara/Reader/Fem! Osamu Dazai, Afab reader, Threesome, Brief Voyeurism, Pet Names (Baby, Doll, Belladonna, Love, Pretty Girl, etc.), Classic Dazai-Chuuya Bickering, Fingering, Nipple Play, Hair Pulling, Face Sitting, Squirting, Strap-on Use, Slight Bit of Aftercare, Hints of a Poly At The End, Idk Maybe I’ll Make a Part Two, Haven't Decided, Honestly Downright Filthy Smut, Literally Wanna Be Stuffed Between Them Like a Sub Sandwich.

How you ended up in bed between your co-worker and her ex-partner from the mafia was a mystery to you. 

One minute you were having drinks with the ADA earlier that night before slinking off to grab another drink from the bar. And the next you were being complimented by one of the five mafia executives herself who was sitting nearby, Nakahara Chuuya. You’ve never had anyone so boldly eye fuck you while smoothly commenting on the way you fought during one of your missions— and against their organization no less. Chuuya was ethereally beautiful, her russet tresses fell over her freckled shoulders, sleek dress hugging her physique tightly to reveal her curves. The most captivating characteristic of hers had to be her heterochromatic eyes, soft blue and brown that sealed your fate as she dragged you away from the bar shortly after your interaction.

Dazai had only noticed your disappearance after she was finished with her Sake. Whining and complaining to Kunikida about how much she missed you, Kunikida scoffed and fixed her glasses. “The last I saw her was talking to the bartender.”

Dazai was quick to jump to her feet and trail off to the bar, only to find no one but the bartender there. When asked, the bartender nodded his head off to the back door that led to an alleyway with a small warning that you had left with a woman described way too familiar with Dazai. Not only was it Dazai’s ex-partner back in the mafia, but you had fought against her just the other day. Dazai felt off when approaching the door, weary of what to expect.

Entering the alleyway, Dazai hadn’t been expecting to see Chuuya feeling your soft body up with her gloved hands while shoving her tongue down your throat and vice versa. 

It took minutes for either of you to notice Dazai’s presence, too caught up in one another to see her staring you down as Chuuya had her way with you. The woman had tugged at the neckline of your tight dress, freeing your breasts to the cold air for the brunette to see before cupping and squeezing them. Your soft and cute mewls had both women wanting more as Chuuya’s lips captured yours again in a sloppy kiss.

Something in Dazai snapped and she knew that there was no more hiding her want for you behind sweet, charismatic smiles and adoring looks from across the office. She cleared her throat, a small gasp of surprise leaving you and not much of a reaction from Chuuya. 

“The hell do you want, shitty Dazai?” Chuuya nearly rolled her eyes as she kept your plush tits groped and spilling between her gloved hands. 

“What are you doing here?” You timidly ask, embarrassed for getting caught, especially with someone who was supposed to be the agency’s enemy.

Dazai kept her composure. “You were gone for too long so I came looking for you— but I see that you’re busy.” She completely ignores Chuuya for the time being.

“Sorry…” You whisper bashfully, head tilting down in shame.

“Well she’s perfectly fine, so you can leave now,” Chuuya grumbles, leaning forward to litter your throat with more hickies.

“I don’t think so— it’d be a shame for the president and Mori to find out what’s happening right now. Why don’t we talk about this at your place, hm, Chibi?” Dazai was clearly planning something.

And that something ended up with you sandwiched between both women in Chuuya’s king sized bed— Dazai’s long, manicured fingers stuffed in your cunt to the knuckles while Chuuya’s tongue entangled with yours, her calloused hand pinching one of your nipples between her fingers.

The loud squelching of your pussy around Dazai’s fingers makes your ears burn as you moan into Chuuya’s mouth, kisses growing messy and mostly tongue filled. Dazai grins in satisfaction as she presses a thumb to rub at your throbbing clit, enjoying every second of your soft walls clenching around her fingers. “Look at how cute her pussy is, Chuuya. Such a needy little slut— wanting both of us at once.”

Chuuya’s lips disconnect from yours, leaving a small string of saliva to break apart from your panting mouths. “Can’t you keep your big mouth shut for three seconds? You’re ruining the mood with your annoying voice,” She mutters in irritation at Dazai’s voice while looking anyway, her gaze glued to your slick pussy as Dazai’s fingers thrust back inside. Chuuya bites into her bottom lip at the scene momentarily before moving back to marking your neck up with love bites.

Dazai blissfully ignores Chuuya’s snippy comment, curling her long fingers to rub into a certain spot that makes your thighs quiver. “She’s so soft, I bet she tastes good too.” The brunette hums thoughtfully, her eyes trailing from your soaked pussy up to your eyes. “Do you?” She smiles mockingly, watching you stumble incoherently over your words into a muddle of whimpers. Her bottom lip juts out into a small pout as she continues to taunt you. “Oh, poor baby… can’t even talk— do my fingers feel that good?”

There’s a small wince as you feel Chuuya sink her teeth into your shoulder just slightly harder than the other bites when Dazai talks, most likely annoyed by how much more she was doing. Wanting more attention, Chuuya growls out, “Oh please, she’ll be crying over my strap compared to your lousy fingers.” 

“Toys? A bit of a cheater, aren’t you, Chuuya? Can’t satisfy her on your own?” Dazai finally responds, mockery evident in her tone.

“Keep talking and I’ll throw your ass out to walk home in the cold.” Chuuya glares at Dazai before she moves away from you momentarily to crawl over to her nightstand to grab out a bottle of lube, harness, and a relatively long dildo. 

Your face must’ve shown just how intimidating the size of the toy was as Dazai gives a light laugh. “Too big for you, darling? Bet you wanna keep my fingers,” She says in a sing-song voice, curling her digits once more. It’s enough to distract you momentarily from their bickering as you feel a familiar feeling building in your lower tummy.

“Relax, doll. It’s only eight inches,” Chuuya sighs nonchalantly, already strapping the harness around her hips and prepping the silicon toy with a thick glob of lube. The sight of Chuuya slicking the toy up with her hand only makes you clench tighter around Dazai’s digits.

“Well some of us aren’t as loose as you are, Chuuya-dear.” Dazai gives a faux innocent smile, malice clear in her eyes and tone. Her fingers falter a bit at Chuuya’s next words.

“You’ve got to be out of your damn mind to talk— you should be considered a fucking graveyard at this point with how many bones you’ve had in you.” Chuuya scoffs, slapping Dazai’s hand away from you as she grabs one of your ankles with her other hand to drag you to her.

You give a small whine, eyes hazy as your orgasm was ripped away from you. 

Chuuya’s gaze falls back to a softer expression as she looks down at you, “I got you, doll.” Her hands move over to grab your hips and lift them until your lower back and ass are resting on the tops of her thighs, bright purple dildo resting between your ass cheeks.

“Well now you’re just being unfair,” Dazai complains, voice pitchy as she gives Chuuya a nasty look.

Before Chuuya could make a snippy remark about her leaving, you reach to lightly tap the brunette’s knee, signaling her to straddle your head. “Just so no one is left out…” You murmur, flustered.

“Well aren’t you just a sweetheart?” Dazai’s mopey expression washes away quickly as she shifts to make her way across the bed to straddle her knees on either side of your head. Her head tilts down to look at you, lips pulled back into a grin and lithe fingers threading into your hair. “You look cute between my legs, ‘donna…” 

Your eyes lull as your gaze drops from her face to her  cleanly shaven pussy, folds practically drooling with arousal which makes your mouth water. You nearly forget about the strap-on nudging against your entrance until it’s pushing in with no warning, the bulbous tip stretching you back open, though not as much as Dazai’s fingers had been. As your lips part to gasp at the sensation, Dazai is lowering herself down until your mouth is enveloping her, your tongue pushing through her folds and labia to lap along her tight hole.

You think you could drown in these women and let them fuck you until you’re nothing but a mindless, pussy-drunk slut for them, your hands coming up to grip into Dazai’s bandaged thighs and your hips jerking to take Chuuya’s strap deeper. And they don’t even keep it from you, letting you have your way as Dazai settles her weight fully onto you and Chuuya shifts to slip deeper into your aching core, walls greedily clutching around the dildo. Your moans are muffled by Dazai, your tongue laving through her succulent pink cunt, clit throbbing wildly against your muscle. She isn’t sweet like how it’s always described, a musky arousal evading your senses— but it isn’t unpleasant and it has you slurping noisily at her sloppy pussy loudly, making her moan and buck gently against your mouth.

It’s overwhelming how they both selfishly take as much as they give, Dazai’s free hand reaching behind her to rub your clit as she rides your face and Chuuya is sinking into you to the hilt and pulling away to create a tortuous pace, her hands gripping into the flesh of your hips. Your ears are muffled and you can’t tell if it’s from the pleasure or Dazai’s thighs pressing to your ears, hips rolling down to hump against your wriggling tongue.

“O-Oh, fuck, look at you… made for eating this pussy, huh, ‘donna?” Dazai groans, her fingers tightening in your hair painfully which causes you to gently scrape your teeth along her clit. She gasps and releases your hair slightly, fixing it almost apologetically and pets it down, her other hand now resting to cup your mound, middle and ring fingers gently rubbing circles into your clit.

You don’t let the stinging sensation in your scalp bother you when Chuuya’s pace picks up and her hips are slapping against yours, thighs jiggling each time she fucks the dildo deeper into your sopping pussy. That and Dazai’s insistent rubbing against your clit has that coil tightening in your lower abdomen once more. You wish you could see the way Chuuya thrusts into your eager pussy, the loud squelching of the dlido fucking into you being all you had to know how good she was treating it. 

“Shit… look at you taking it all, dollface— your pretty pussy is sucking me in so. damn. tight,” Chuuya growls, hips slapping harsher with punctuated words, your body jolting with choked breaths. 

“Don’t be so rough with her,” Dazai chides, not really caring about her being rough, but wanting to piss Chuuya off.

It works as Chuuya glares at Dazai and only picks up the pace, thighs stinging with each thrust as you feel her skin slap against yours and her grip grow tighter on your hips. “Don’t tell me how to fuck my girl, shitty Dazai.”

“Your girl?” Dazai humorlessly laughs out before letting out a small moan from your mouth sucking at her clit again. “Please— after this, she’s with me. I’m just nice enough to share this once.”

“Like hell, I made a move first, go find someone else to whore around with,” A huff leaves Chuuya, but her pace doesn’t change and neither does Dazai’s fingers against your clit. It has your mind reeling and body twitching, nearly teetering the edge of a climax— not that either woman noticed as they continued to bicker. 

“Well I SAW her first, I called dibs. Besides, she works at the agency with me so that means that she’ll be coming back with me anyways. You lose, face it, Chibi.”

“Doesn’t matter if you saw her first, you’re just mad that I acted before you did. You’re such a petulant child, can’t even handle losing to me for once.”

“That’s because I didn’t lose, she’s mine.”

“Oh, you fuckin’ bitch—“

Their arguing is cut off by a loud muffled whine from you and an orgasm that has your body shuddering deeply, your pussy creaming all over the purple dildo. A small, frothy ring of your cum forms around the base with each thrust, leaving the two women to finally quiet down as they watch, movements faltering to a slow pace momentarily.

“Fuck… I wanna make her squirt now,” Chuuya exhales quietly.

Dazai nods slowly before murmuring, “Finally, something we can agree on.”

You pick up on their muttering and let out a muffled groan into Dazai’s pussy in attempts to disagree, not sure if you were able to take another orgasm, but it falls upon deaf ears and their movements pick back up to a frenzied mess now.

You squirm beneath them, eyes squeezing shut and limbs spasming as they overstimulate your flushed pussy, folds puffy and clit thrumming as Dazai adds even more pressure to your sensitive nub. You try so hard to focus on Dazai’s rutting against your mouth, but it’s difficult when they’re double teaming you like this and Dazai takes over, allowing her hips to grind down on your face. Her clit bumps against your nose and your tongue occasionally slips into her clenching hole, serving her just enough as she tries to desperately reach her own climax.

“C’mon, hun, let go for us, yeah? We know you can come again— wanna see you squirt, baby,” Dazai pants out, her bangs sticking to her forehead from the sheen of sweat she was working up. You can’t see Chuuya, but you know she must look similar to Dazai’s state.

Your head feels like it’s underwater and you can’t help but give into what the two women want, thighs clamping around Chuuya’s waist as your eyes flutter closed and your second orgasm crashes over you more intensely to the point your ears start to ring. A stream of arousal squirts out, splashing against Dazai’s fingers and Chuuya’s lower abdomen. A soft gasp slips from their lips and Dazai can’t help but come at the sight, her viscous cum coating your tongue and slipping down your throat like honey. It’s a pleasant feeling and tastes almost like nothing with a hint of her scent, making you moan weakly against her as her hips falter to slow down but refuse to let up from your mouth, insides pulsing against your tired tongue.

It’s a couple minutes until you gather your bearings and Dazai finally lifts her hips, breath hitching at the string of your saliva and her cum connecting your mouth to her pussy that breaks when she pulls away. It nearly gets her worked up enough for another round, but she presses the feeling down and moves to lay beside you, clinging to your side and burying her face into your neck. 

Chuuya pulls out of you shortly after, slipping the harness off her hips and begins to clean up. She disappears off into the bathroom momentarily and returns with a small rag to clean your face off first of Dazai’s cum and then between your legs. The mafioso pecks your lips gently in comparison to her rough treatment earlier and glances at Dazai, throwing the rag at her lazily without a care. “Clean yourself up, would you?”

“What?” Dazai whines out, “How come she gets the princess treatment and I’m treated like a peasant?”

“Because you are one, you’re lucky I haven’t kicked you out at this point,” Chuuya clicks her tongue and turns her attention back to you and scoops you up into her arms. “I’m starting a bath, I don’t give a damn if you join or not,” She says to Dazai over her shoulder, leaving the brunette to complain about the unfair treatment she’s getting as she stumbles up to follow after the both of you. 

With your arms looping around Chuuya’s neck lazily, a small smile curls in your lips, knowing that this wouldn’t be a one time thing.

[altgojo]

Love always make itself known. (a katsuki Bakugo/reader…)

Summary : you knew that you will always be there for him, no matter what happens, because you know that you love him. But what you didn’t know is that he does too, and he would do anything for you… wc: 1,6 k Author note: you know how I started from a Drabble? Now I wrote a whole ass oneshot😭, I originally wanted to do this with a prohero!tomura/reader but I fear that I didn’t know how to construct such thing in one single part 🤕, butttt if you want it then maybe I could do it😇. Anyways, I hope you like it :3

Warnings: a little tiniest tiny bit of angst, but it’s a happy ending, fluff, they are both in love with each others to the point when it HURT like just confess😭, but they do eventually, f!reader, clingy katsuki because why tf not?

The sunshine was seeping through the glass panels of the window, gracing the room with a newfound warmth after a long cold night. As the sun rises up, the bright light slowly arose you from your sleep. 

As you get your own self accommodated to waking up, you notice that you were wrapped into a strong embrace, you try to slowly turn around, then as you look at their face, you remember all the things that occurred the day before.

      He saved you.

He saved you. You thought you were doomed for, your back colliding with the brick wall behind you, grunting in pain as you try to move, but to no avail. Your eyes were getting blurry and your mind was foggy, the only thing you can see is his face.

      You wished that you confessed.

      You wished that you had the guts to. 

You were ashamed, you wanted to be strong alongside him, you wanted to be with him. But you couldn’t, because you were a coward, and we all know cowards get nothing. 

      He sees you.

 And all that flashes into his mind as he sees you there, all sprawled with your back to that wall, is pure unfiltered rage. He wanted to be strong enough for you, he always trained so hard to do so, but there he is, he lets you get severely injured. Like the weakling he is. But he doesn’t have time to think about such things, he has to save you, as fast as possible.

      So he does. 

As flashes of your memories with him race in your mind, you feel large arms encapsulating you in his embrace, holding so tightly, but you don’t feel anything, so you just bask in his warmth as he shouts at you to talk to him. He finishes the villain off with you in his arms, you feel his rage and his anger as they escape his body, with an intensity that can rival the biggest waves crashing onto the shore . Then you smile, you smile because you are glad that you set your sights on him from the beginning, because to you, even if he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, you still won’t stop loving him. 

    He is everything to you.

    But you are also everything to him,

    You just don’t know it.

That’s why, once you opened your eyes, he instantly appeared in your field of vision, he held your hand right away as he spoke.

“If you had died, I would have killed you”

You held his hand tighter. You realised that you missed him, even when he was right there, with you, in the hospital room, you missed him and you are glad you are here with him. You don’t realise that you were crying until you felt his hand wiping your tears away. His hand feels slightly different than when you were both teenagers, soon to be pros. But, even so, they still held the care and the warmth that they always did. 

 “Why the hell are you crying? I’m right here.”

‘I am right here, I am not going anywhere.’ That’s what he wanted to say, but he knows that you will understand him anyway, you always did, that’s why he was always at ease with you. You didn’t just dismiss him as an “angry aggressive person with no other feelings” like all people did, you saw right through him. You understood him, and that scared him at first. He tried to push you away, but you remained still, even when you both fought, he always found his way back to you. Because he realises that his future lays with you, with nobody else but you.

You look at him as he is deep in thought. With a relaxed smile on your face, you softly spoke, finally meeting his eyes.

“You can’t kill me if I already died, katsuki.”

As you finished, you realised that you just broke his train of thoughts, he looked slightly shocked for a second before he mutters :

“I don’t care, I will if you did.”

You muse back with a soft laugh :

“Then I won’t, never dreamt of doing so.”

You both stare back at each other for a while, silently looking at every detail on each other’s face, both trying to reserve this as one of the plenty of memories that you both shared. 

  You got discharged from the hospital two days after. Fortunately, you only had one severe injury that was nearly healed thanks to recovery girl (she came just after the villain attack because katsuki urged her to come. You made sure to thank her profusely for healing you.)

As you were about to leave the hospital, you found katsuki right outside waiting for you. As he sets his sights on you, he rushes to your side, and helps you get onto the car, his car.

You both sat in silence, listening to the low sounds emitting from his radio that acts as some sort of white sound in the car. That’s until katsuki turns it completely off and starts talking:

“I already talked to your agency and told them about your condition and the physical state that you are in, you need a lot of rest so I better not see you there until you fully heal, understood?”

Just based on his keen, stoic tone, you knew you couldn’t argue with him. So, you just sank further onto the cushioned leather seat of his car, opting to look out the window instead. Katsuki kept stealing glances at you from time to time, checking if you were okay. After some time, you reached your front doorstep. As you turned around, ready to unbuckle your seatbelt, you were outrun by katsuki as he unbuckled the belt for you, and then his. sensing your confused glance onto his back as he opened his car’s door, he quips:

“You need assistance, so you’ll better let me accompany you without being such an annoying brat.”

And that’s how you find yourself being tended by him all afternoon, never leaving your side, and if he does by chance, he keeps you near him or steal glances at you to make sure you are doing good. You know why katsuki is acting like this, you saw his face once you woke up on the hospital bed. He was scared, afraid of losing you. That’s why you don’t complain nor tease him about his clinginess, you just let him be, plus you always like it when he gets clingy, even when it comes with a tinge of guilt. Because he always gets clingy whenever something bad happens between you two. You brush that thought off as you remained on the couch while he is making dinner, reminding you of your time in UA common rooms, when you and all your friends lounge together in the living room while katsuki cooked , but now, it’s just you and him. 

When katsuki finishes up making dinner, he beckons you over to the table, almost acting like he owns the place and that the house is his , not yours. As you sit down, you both eat in silence until he starts to glance at you, that’s when you know he wants to initiate a conversation, so you look up and he begins:

"Just what the hell was going through your mind when you decided to face that villain?"

You look straight into his eyes, your posture radiating confidence even when you really don’t feel it at that moment, fake it till you make it I guess.

"What do you mean? I am a prohero katsuki, of course I would go against a villain. What do you want me to do? Watch you defeat them yourself?"

Katsuki scrunches his face as he starts to get mad. His expression is a clear indication of that.

"I know that you are a prohero, but that does not mean that you should just jump infront of villains with no plan whatsoever and take their blows."

You lowers your eyes and look anywhere but katsuki’s face, all the initial confidence in you blew away after his perfect response, damn he caught me!

Katsuki sees your look as a signal to continue, probably because he knows that he caught you right where he wanted to.

"I know that you want to beat as many villains as you could, and I have always appreciated the dedication that you have to beating villains asses, but you should be careful so they don’t beat your ass up instead. I won’t always be there with you on missions to save your ass so you better not do this anytime soon, I want you to use your brain and think before jumping to action, got it?"

Katsuki then stops to analyse your reaction, glancing right through you, your eyes widen for a second as you process his words, and then, you look up and smile at him. His heart melting at the sight of it, he never wants you to lose your smile, he never wants to lose you.

As you look up at him, you smile, your heart melts with his words, even if he talks in that way, you always see right through his words, he cares about you, and you do too. You trust him with your life. 

So you decided it’s time. 

It’s now or never. 

You look straight at his beautiful, ethereal crimson eyes and say.

"I love you, katsuki.”

That’s how you find yourself, as a new day begins, under your sheets, with the man whom you have always and will pour your love into, and he will do the same if not more. 

As you look at his sleeping face, he is slowly arising from his sleep, almost in command. 

    because whenever you look at him, 

    he would always be there, 

    at your service. 

And then his eyes meet yours and the first sentence he utters is:

"I love you most."

copyright © 2024 altgojo. do not copy, remake or edit any of my works, you can reblog it but do not reupload on any platform, thank u.

[crusty-chronicles]

Hiei Courting Headcannons

In honor of the Live Action series (Even though I don't Have High Hopes For It)

Now, we all know Hiei is a very stubborn demon. Especially when it comes to his feelings. When he realized he liked you and didn't just tolerate your presence, he fought hard to deny it.

So what if he spent most of his time with you? Who cares that the first place he goes to after coming back from the demon world is your house? It didn't matter that his eyes seemed to soften whenever you were around.

No not one bit.

But the second Kurama threatened to court you himself, well Hiei couldn't just sit down and let that happen. Didn't that fox understand he shouldn't touch what wasn't his.

1. Showing off to see if you're interested

Hiei may be a demon, but he has some semblance of manners. His pride wouldn't allow him to claim you until you accepted his advances. Any creature who dared force themselves onto another was the lowest of the lowest.

So, his first step is showing off during fights.

Letting the enemy bloody him up more to show that injury didn't affect him.

Using more spirit energy than was needed to end another demon with just one blow

Stopping you from fighting because he'll "take care of it. You humans are too fragile."

He'll also use his Jagan more frequently.

You lost something?

Well look no further, he can track it down precisely and easily.

Praise him even once or say in passing he's really strong, and he'll take that as you being interested.

Even if you're just trying to be nice.

2. Wearing Richer Colors

I firmly believe Hiei courts more like a crow than the usual beast. He's sleek like one anyways.

Now if you didn't know, most birds attract mates with their bright feathers.

In Hiei's case, he'll start to wear dark, yet rich colors to get your attention.

Strength is one thing. Any low-class demon can demonstrate strength and be happy about it.

What Hiei is looking for is to see if you're attracted to him. If you find him visually appealing.

Though he's not a vain creature, he still yearns for the confirmation that him and him alone captivates you.

He'll start with darker blues. Maybe change up his cloak a little.

And when that doesn't work, he moves onto purples. Getting teased by Kurama for 'changing up his style.' But he stays determined.

Eventually moving onto a burgundy. And the way you were immediately drawn to him then made it worth it.

Relishing in your compliments on how 'the color really suits him' and 'it matches his eyes perfectly.'

Letting you grab at the fabric and inspect it until he asks why you like it so much.

"Well I always thought your eyes were pretty. It's nice to see something that reminds me of them."

He's a prideful smug bastard after that. Not even comments from Yusuke can tick him off that day.

3. Bringing You Shiny Objects

Once again, he courts like a crow.

Now that you've shown interest in him, it's time to properly start showing his affections.

Hiei isn't one for flirting or compliments. He's more prone to showing rather than telling. And in this case the way to do that is to bring you little trinkets that catch his eye.

Usually, it'll be small gems he stumbles across in demon world.

Rubies, diamonds, and emeralds. All things he knows where to find thanks to his prior occupation as a thief.

He's not trying to buy your affection. He knows you're not that vain judging by the pushback you always give when he presents you with a jewel.

No, rather he's trying to show that he can provide for you. That you'd never have to worry about scrounging around to survive as long as he was with you.

A protector and a provider.

He also notices how you treasure the less valuable items with as much fondness and care as the others.

He had asked you why you slept with a chunk of pyrite on your bedside one time. And your response let him know he wouldn't give up on pursuing you anytime soon.

"Because it was one of the first things you gave me. Don't you remember? You said something along the lines of fool's gold for a fool's heart. I think it's sweet you even got me something at all."

You didn't care about what he brought you. All that mattered was that it came from him.

If that didn't mean you accepted his advances, then he didn't know what would.

4. Scenting

Ah, yes. Back to the classics

Once you've accepted the gifts he's continuously given you, Hiei takes it as you liking him back.

He's aware human and demon courting processes are very different from one another.

But he's exactly not human, is he?

When it comes to demons, once you've accepted their advances, your mates.

In a sense, it's like dating. Only except a dissatisfied partner will kill the other in most cases.

With this in mind, Hiei happily accepts the fact you're his and immediately moves onto the final stage of courting.

Scenting you so that other demons know to back off.

Think of it as your last out if you realize what's happening and actually don't have feelings for him.

The scenting process will start with Hiei showing up to your place of residence and staying with you.

Not yet following you around, but making sure to spend time in each room.

If he has to leave somewhere, he'll leave either an article of clothing or his sword.

It confuses you at first and you think maybe he just trusts you.

But you start to think otherwise when he starts getting touchy.

Laying in your lap and ordering you to stay still, only to find out he's fallen asleep on you.

Or letting his face rest against the crook of your neck. Which you didn't mind all that much.

It was quite funny to see someone as tough as Hiei become completely docile around you.

You weren't too worried until he followed you out when you went to buy groceries.

"You don't like being around people. Don't you wanna stay home until I get back?" You asked him.

"I've already shown you that you're a very fragile creature compared to me. It's best I accompany you so you don't hurt yourself."

Usually you would have argued back, but it was clear something was off with him.

These past few months had been strange with him either trying to get your attention or trying to stay directly next to you.

You wouldn't figure out what it was until your other three friends showed up.

Kuwabara wanting to have a movie night and you offering your home to do it.

When the three of them arrived, you noticed Kurama and Yusuke hesitate by the entrance.

"Something wrong?" You questioned.

" I can't put my finger on it, but something's telling me I shouldn't go in." Yusuke responded.

Unawares it was Hiei's scent warding him off.

But Kurama knew. He'd known since you opened the door.

It seems Hiei had staked his claim on you.

Yet judging by your calm demeanor, you didn't know that yet.

"Have you noticed Hiei acting strange lately?" Kurama asked.

"Yes! I thought I was the only one. He's been really clingy. I mean at first it was odd he kept bringing me stuff like gems, but then he started following me around like a house cat. It's endearing, but honestly what's going on with him?" You ranted. Prompting a laugh from the redhead.

"I see. Good luck on your new relationship."

Before you could question him about what he meant, a gentle grip around your waist stopped you.

"What're you doing inviting these fools to our home. You know how long it took me to get rid of their scent the first time? It's like you want me to start the whole courting process all over again."

Courting?

Oh.

Oh.

You couldn't say you minded now that you knew what was actually going on.

[bnhaobservation]

Todoroki family and chap 430

In case it wasn't obvious by now, I was very invested in the Todoroki family storiline and one of the things that sadden me the most about chap 430 is this image.

We've Enji, or maybe I should say Endeavor, Rei is pushing his wheelchair as he goes somewhere, we don't know where, some want to think he's visiting Touya but it's not said and, around him there are 3 men and a woman.

It's not his children, it's his sidekicks and Hawks.

The final chapter doesn't touch what happened to Natsuo and Fuyumi, we've to assume Fuyumi is happy with her work and Natsuo with his marriage.

We don't know if Touya is still alive but, anyway, he's going to die. Even if we assume he died happily he had said smiling was why they lived their lives. He could keep on living out of anger and grudge but not out of smiles and happiness?

Fuyumi has fought for all those years so hard because she wanted back her family and she basically get nothing, not her old family as Natsuo leaves and Touya dies and it's not even hinted she has a new one as it was Natsuo the one who got a girlfriend as soon as he entered university and marries her basically a year and a half later.

Natsuo is just rushedly married to this character of which we don't even know the name. We don't know if, in the end he visited Touya again or not, we don't know if he ever managed to overcome all the anger and pain he felt inside for how his father ruined the family.

Shouto became a Hero, but his mother is not with him to support him but she is with his father. We don't see his siblings around him, cheering for him. We don't know which effect had on him to reconnect with Touya only to lose him. We're only told he became a good Hero so people don't call him anymore Endeavor's son, forgetting people also looked poorly at him for being Dabi's brother. How did he overcome that? Evidently it somehow disappeared as all the first years are already all his fans and even Dai said all the kids wanted to be like Shouto... but, at the end of the day, we aren't shown Shouto having a good moment with his family, his good moments come from being a Hero and being with his friends.

Even if we assume that, despite having to marry Enji out of duty to help her family, Rei had fallen in love with Enji while their family was having a good time before he turned abusive, and now that she had forgiven him and he stopped being abusive she's glad to be back with him... skipping this was very vaguely constructed she lost 10 years in a hospital and we can't see her with her children. She's supposed to be happy being with him with one of her children dead and one of her children keeping away from his father because just being in the same room with him makes him feel bad.

Mind you, I'm not saying Natsuo should forgive Enji or force himself to be with Enji or whatever but having a person that's related to you that makes you to feel bad just by being in the same room with you so that you've to avoid that person, is not something that's good. If Enji and Rei live together and Natsuo wants to visit his mother he has to make sure to do it when his father is somewhere else. In the past Rei was split between taking care of Shouto, who couldn't be with her other children, and taking care of Touya, Fuyumi and Natsuo, with the result Natsuo felt neglected because he was very small when all this happened and needed his mother... but likely she ended up neglecting Fuyumi and Touya too because you can't be in two places at the same time. Now, instead than having to take turns with Shouto, Natsuo have to take turns with Enji.

Ad for Enji... all his atonement for what? He doesn't manage to rebuild a relation with his children, apparently his sidekicks and Hawks have replaced them, they're conveniently of the right number. His children would have gotten where they were even without his atonement because all we hear is about others helping them, he only get the cool sentence, we see nothing of his struggle. But this is also supposed to be a happy ending for him. Who care if he doesn't have his kids? He has his sidekicks and Hawks his newfound family he would have had anyway had he focused on his work only.

The story tried it's hardest to make me think he cared about his family but then I'm supposed to think he's happy not having any of the sort apart for Rei and a new found family.

Horikishi had already established in the previous chapter Enji would have his sidekicks and Hawks' support, I didn't need a reminder of that.

I needed to see THIS image at the end...

...maybe including Natsuo's girlfriend as he could have introduced her to the rest of the family... or him holding his firstborn and letting Rei see her grandchild.

I needed to see Fuyumi finding someone with whom to form a family since she can't have her own back and she wished so badly for it.

I needed to have this being shown to me...

...or at least to see Touya out of that contraption as he died in peace, a smile on his lips since happiness somehow couldn't save him but grudge could.

I needed to be told something that Enji did that HELPED his kids, that made them be better. Not something vague, I need something concrete. Even if they would never be with him, since he's supposed to atone to them, I need him to make something more than just give them a new house and pay for the bills because he'd been paying bills through all his life so that's not new.

I would have been fine with him watching them smile from a distance or hearing from Rei how they were doing and smiling.

Mind you, I'm willing to believe in Horikoshi's mind Enji now is a changed man and very sorry for what he did and loves his family and yadda yadda but there's a reason why we say 'show, don't tell' and so far Horikoshi is more interested in telling than showing.

I get that in his mind Enji is a character more important than Rei, Fuyumi, Natsuo or even Touya, I would have been fine with all that I've mentioned being shown through his perspective because he cares about his family and so he's happy if they're happy.

If, in all that talking Midoriya does about reaching out to others, what he wanted to point out was Enji had continued to reach out to help his family even if they had cut him out of their lives.

But no, the good part is that his sidekicks and Hawks are reaching out for him. Okay, I can take this as the test trying again to point out Enji will never be a Hero, in the end he's not the one reaching out but the one others have to reach out to help but, again, it was established in the past chapter so I didn't need a reminder and it kind of steps all over his arc of trying to reach out for his family.

In the end the most he does is to just take it when they want to yell at him and let them live the live they want... I do think it's a great thing if an abuser were to realize what he had done to his victims and try to atone. It's kind of a miracle turned true... but there's just too little of it in this story.

Maybe I'm missing some deep cultural context, maybe Enji is doing something AMAZING for his family that Horikoshi thought he didn't need to show because it's obvious to Japanese readers but... but I wish he had shown it. Instead the moment Enji finally stop being a Hero and could do something for his family, the manga ends with his family disregating but I'm supposed to see it as a happy ending.

I prefer it had just been called a sad ending. Bad things happen, I can stomach them but honestly "Ano Hana" makes a much better work at portraying grief and atonement and the same goes for "Koe no katachi".

Horikoshi knew he was selling this manga also to foreign readers. I'm not saying he should have made his manga thinking to them but, if this atonement arc was so important, maybe he should have made it more understandable for us as well. This makes the diffference between a national mangaka and an international one.

[sweetlyvibe]

PAIRING : Osamu Miya x Fem!Reader,

GENRE : angst/comfort

WC : 1k

SUMMARY : After a huge fight with Atsumu about quitting volleyball, Osamu crashes at the your place, looking for advice. With your help, he sorts out his feelings and makes up with Atsumu, proving their bond is solid even if they’re on different paths.

CONTENT/WARNINGS : emotional struggles, intense arguments, sibling tensions, misunderstandings

The Miya twins had fought countless times before, but this one was different. You could tell by the way Osamu stumbled through your front door that evening, his shoulders tense and his face twisted in anger, a rare sight on the usually calm and collected twin. He didn’t need to say a word for you to understand. You could guess who the fight was with. It was always Atsumu.

He stood there, silent for a moment, as if trying to find his words, his breathing heavy. You gestured him inside without a second thought, the quiet tension filling the room as he dropped his bag by the door.

“I’m not playin’ anymore,” he finally muttered, more to himself than to you, the words barely above a whisper. “Volleyball, it’s not… for me.”

You nodded, waiting. You had learned to be patient with him.

“And he doesn’t get it.” Osamu’s voice cracked, the frustration spilling over as he ran a hand through his hair, pacing back and forth like a caged animal. “We always fought, ya know? But never like this. Never like this.”

His voice trembled, and you felt a pang in your chest as you watched him try to hold it together. This wasn’t just another argument. This was a breaking point. You gently guided him to sit down, and he sank into the couch, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, his head hanging low.

“He’s so angry. Like he doesn’t even wanna hear what I gotta say. It’s all just volleyball, volleyball, volleyball… like it’s the only thing that matters.” He laughed bitterly, shaking his head. “I told him I’m done. I’m done with it.”

You sat beside him, placing a comforting hand on his arm. “It sounds like you’ve been thinking about this for a while.”

Osamu sighed, his body deflating as if the weight of it all was finally sinking in. “Yeah. I mean, I love playin’, but not like him. It’s different for me, and I think he feels like I’m betrayin’ him or somethin’. But I can’t keep doin’ it just to keep him happy.”

Your heart ached for him. Osamu had always been the more level-headed one, but right now, he was lost. “He’s your brother, Samu. He loves you. But you’re allowed to want different things.”

“I know that.” His voice was quieter now, his anger fading into something more fragile. “But I dunno how to make him see it. It’s like talkin’ to a brick wall. He thinks I’m givin’ up.”

You paused, choosing your words carefully. “Maybe… maybe you two need space. Time to cool off. He’s not thinking straight right now, and neither are you.”

He didn’t say anything, just stared at the floor, but you could tell your words were sinking in. You let the silence hang between you for a moment before speaking again.

“You can stay here as long as you need. We’ll figure it out, okay?”

Osamu glanced at you, his expression softening just a little. “Thanks… for always knowin’ what to say.”

Atsumu’s anger still simmered hours later as he replayed the fight in his head, the harsh words they’d thrown at each other cutting deeper than any previous argument. It was the first time Osamu had ever walked away like that, and the thought of it gnawed at him. Why couldn’t Samu see how much volleyball meant to him? How could he just quit like it was nothing?

It wasn’t until the next day, after spending the night alone in their apartment, that Atsumu began to feel the sharp edges of regret. He’d pushed too hard. The fight replayed in his mind, and he hated how it had ended. But pride and anger still clung to him, keeping him from making the first move to fix things.

You found Osamu later that night in your kitchen, sitting with a mug of tea in front of him, his head resting in his hands. His whole body seemed heavier than usual, weighed down by the argument. You sat beside him quietly, and after a few moments, he spoke.

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe we just need time.”

“I think you both need to talk when you’re calmer,” you said gently. “He’s probably still mad, but I know he’ll regret it too. You just need to give each other a chance to explain.”

Osamu didn’t respond immediately, but you could tell he was thinking about it. Slowly, he nodded, though there was still uncertainty in his eyes. “But what if he doesn’t get it? What if he’s still mad?”

You smiled softly. “He’s your brother, Osamu. He’ll always come around. You just need to find a way to make him understand that this isn’t about him. It’s about what’s right for you.”

It took a few more days, but eventually, Osamu texted Atsumu, suggesting they meet and talk. They both showed up at the court where they used to practice together, the air thick with unspoken tension.

Atsumu stood with his arms crossed, trying to look indifferent, but the moment Osamu spoke, his defenses crumbled.

“I’m not quittin’ volleyball ‘cause I hate it, ‘Tsumu. I’m quittin’ ‘cause I don’t love it the way you do. I wanna do somethin’ I’m passionate about. I don’t expect you to understand, but I need ya to respect it.”

Atsumu’s face softened, his anger dissolving into something else—hurt, maybe even understanding. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, glancing away before muttering, “You’re still my twin, no matter what. But I thought… I dunno, I thought we’d do this together.”

Osamu sighed. “We’re always gonna be brothers, ‘Tsumu. But I gotta do this for me.”

There was a pause, and then Atsumu nodded, his eyes finally meeting Osamu’s. “Alright. I get it.”

It wasn’t perfect, but it was a start. You didn’t need to be there to know that, thanks to the time apart—and your gentle advice—the Miya twins would be alright.

[mcflymemes]

GONE GIRL (2014) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

what are you thinking? how are you feeling? what have we done to each other?

i felt i needed to shoot something.

we've never fucked in a bookstore.

you know i have to kiss you now.

sometimes i want to punch us in the face, we're so cute.

when you're upset, you bottle up.

brought you a present.

i need you. now. touch me.

that's very sweet of you and very unnecessary.

pour me a bourbon, would you?

it's a bad day.

i'm so crazy, stupid happy.

i met a boy. a great, gorgeous, sweet, cool-ass guy.

things could get ugly.

whose beer am i drinking?

i prefer men who are funny, not "funny."

i'm the guy to save you from all this awesomeness.

it's hard to believe you. i think it's your chin.

you are way too into that cat.

tell me how it ends.

i'm not someone who hits the panic button, but... it's weird, right?

you mind if we look around?

so what do you do now? for work.

perfect, time for a quick tour of my failings.

i love your parents, but they can be assholes.

people want to hear from you.

i thought that'd be embarrassing.

i am here on a strictly journalistic capacity.

[name], you are beyond amazing. you are incredibly smart but entirely unsnobby. you are kind, but never a martyr.

you surprise me. you challenge me.

isn't it time we fixed that?

we're going to take this very, very seriously.

i go there for the quiet.

we're still not sure what we're dealing with.

please don't take that tone with me.

everyone told us... and told us and told us... marriage is hard work.

technically we're supposed to fuck at the next stop.

books, sex, bourbon... life is good.

i knew you shouldn't have moved back here.

maybe i'll teach you a thing or two.

i'm a little drunk.

let's swear we will never be like them.

everything else is background noise.

why are you throwing that in my face again?

it's like you're daring me to be someone i don't want to be.

i'm not that person. i'm your wife.

suddenly i knew everything was about to get worse.

i'm asking you nicely.

everyone is projecting their shit onto me.

i feel like i could disappear.

i've been so worried about you.

i don't want to fight. i just want to be with you. that's all i want.

you fucking lied to my fucking face.

for valentine's day, i thought i'd buy a gun.

you have to fucking talk to me!

i'm not going to be scared anymore.

this man of mine may kill me.

men always use that as the defining compliment, don't they? she's a cool girl.

i will admit. for someone who likes to win, it's tempting to be the girl every guy wants.

we were happy pretending to be other people.

i need to show you something.

see we have the same taste in men.

you're reading it again? you know how it ends.

whatever the hell they found, we have to assume it's very bad.

everyone would hate me.

why are you so good to me?

my defense is the truth.

i've never seen it in my life.

i feel myself fading.

i just said what you wanted to hear.

take off your clothes.

i'm a fighter. i fought my way back to you.

kiss my cheek.

you're not at risk anymore.

you know you can sleep with me, right?

we should hold hands.

you called me a murderer.

i haven't touched you.

i've killed for you.

[justastraymoa]

Unwilling Alpha

Chapter 7

Masterlist

Taglist

Y/n finds their happy again

Warnings ⚠️ swears, abo dynamics, mentions of slave trade, mentions of rape, mentions of abuse, mentions of death, fear, manipulation.

Nothing within reflects anyone or anything irl.

-

For 10 days after I returned my life resumed as normal. It hurt when I thought about the boys. That final night where Seungmin begged me to stay. But I busied myself with work.

Because of my impromptu vacation we were a bit behind. That gave me the perfect opportunity to fill my head with work so Stray Kids had no room in there. They were all locked in my chest where the hurt lived.

For 10 days I worked most of my waking hours, often until I was exhausted enough to go home and collapse just to do it all over again the next day. I took photographs, I made films. I created art from behind a lens.

This is exactly what I fought for. I fought for my art. I fought my parents who said it was a waste of time. I fought my teachers who didn’t understand why I always carried a camera. I fought to get through college with degrees in photography and film. I fought to find a job after graduation. I fought to survive doing what I loved.

My heart and instincts had no say in this. They were locked away with my hurt until they got on the same page as my brain. There was no room for them right now. I was doing fine. Just fine. There was absolutely nothing wrong. Was I happy? No. But I would be again one day. This would all fade one day.

And then my boss, August, an eccentric man who dressed in steampunk attire every day, stopped by my workstation. He slowly closed my laptop with one finger, forcing my entire attention on him.

He half sat on the desk looking at me solemnly. “I don’t know where you went on your vacation. Or why it was so sudden.” He began.

“Gus-“ I was about to apologize for such an abrupt request for time off. Maybe lie about where I went. What I did. I really didn’t have a plan on what to say. Even after all this time. I could never come up with anything that sounded convincing enough even to my own ears.

He held up a hand to stop me. “No, just listen. You came back different. Still an awesome artist. An amazing worker. But something or someone changed you.”

I swallowed and blinked back stinging in my eyes, thoughts of my Omegas filling my head. I tried to lock them away in my chest again. Where they had been living so I could live my life without sobbing uncontrollably every 5 seconds or go running back to them like every fiber of my being wanted to do.

“That!” He pointed at my face. “I’ve seen that look before. In the mirror when I met my Dahlia. You fell in love.”

I nodded and released a sob, giving up on the impossible task of locking them away again. “Yes. I did.” I leaned forward and rested my head on his thigh, sobbing heavily. I hadn’t cried since I got on the plane that last day, holding it all in. Locking it away inside and pretending it wasn’t there. But it all came out now. Heaved out of my lungs like it refused to be silenced any longer.

“Oh, darling girl.” He stroked my hair soothingly, letting me soak his pants with my salty tears and snot. “What happened?”

“I would have had to give up everything! All I worked for to get where I am! I would have had to give this up! Leave you and the others! And I would have had to change. Become a completely different person. I couldn’t do it!”

“Y/n, you silly girl. That’s what love is. True love requires sacrifice. Requires metamorphosis on both ends.” He sighed. “True love will give you the life you were always meant to have. Turn you into who you were meant to be. It will give you a life that you never imagined you would have. With someone you never imagined you would be with. It's hard to let go, but the end results are worth it.”

I sat up again, wiping my face and running nose. My head was pounding, and my mind was racing. All the possibilities. All the options. Everything I would give up. Everything I gave up when I left. Everything that could be. Everything that would never be. My Omegas. Who let me go when I didn’t want to stay. “What do I do, Gus? I am so confused!”

He cupped both my cheeks and smiled sadly down at me, leaning forward slightly. “Leave. Go to them. Be happy. Live your life.”

I nodded with one last sob and threw my arms around him. Gus had given me my break in my art and had always been a father figure to me. One of the most important people in my life. One of the reasons I convinced myself I had to come back. I trusted him and his judgement. He earned it. I would miss him.

I haphazardly threw clothes into a bag while booking the next flight to Korea. I would come back for the rest of my things. Right now, I need my Omegas.

The flight was horrible. I was too amped up to sleep and it felt like it lasted days instead of hours. My leg bounced the entire time, annoying my seat mate who was trying to sleep. I turned down the in-flight meal, stomach too tight with anxiety to even consider eating. Instead, I sipped on water and impatiently watched the little map of our progress on the screen in the wall. The little figure of our plane was moving way too slowly for my liking or sanity.

It wasn’t until I was standing in front of their door that the doubts kicked in. What if they changed their mind? What if they no longer wanted me? What if they managed to find another Alpha after I left?

Determined to find out, I steeled myself and rang the doorbell, counting my heartbeats as I waited, holding my breath.

What felt like years later, Han opened the door looking worse for wear. His clothes were crumpled, makeup smeared, hair in disarray. And I swear he looked skinnier. He hadn’t been eating properly. I immediately wanted to take him and get him taken care of, washed and fed and warm and safe.

He blinked at me uncomprehendingly several times before his eyes widened and face lit up. “Y/ns back!” He shouted before slamming into me. I breathed deeply through my nose, getting the first of his scent that I had had since the scent on the dirty clothes I brought last time faded.

The ones that sat in a pile near my bed that I had convinced myself I was just too lazy to wash and put away. A lot of those clothes probably ended up coming back with me when I packed, since they were nearby and easy to grab.

What sounded like a herd of elephants came running towards us, shouting in glee and throwing out questions so quickly I couldn’t decipher one from the other in any hope of answering them. I was crushed into a group hug, swarmed and bathed in the happy scents that I had tried so hard to convince myself I didn’t want or need.

I was pulled inside at some point. Honestly, I was too focused on my Omegas to notice. Head swimming and emotions bubbling inside like a overflowing pot of boiling water.

God, I hadn’t realized how much I missed them. I hadn't let myself notice how empty I felt before, how desolate and alone. Locked it all inside. But I felt how much I no longer felt that way now. How full and happy I am. How euphoric. I sobbed with the immense relief I was filled with. So happy that I wasn’t even embarrassed to be such an emotional mess in front of the boys.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait!” Chan called over the voices of the others. Everyone quieted and looked at him. “What are you doing here, y/n?”

“Who freaking cares!” Felix responded, adhering himself to me like I was the very air he needed to breathe.

My hands were constantly moving from one person to another, desperate to touch all of them. To confirm that they were here and safe. Just to reacquaint myself with them.

I wet my lips, scared of rejection. “I’m back – if you still want me – to be your Alpha.”

“But your life? All you’ve worked for?” Seungmin asked. “You can't give all that up for us.”

I shook my head. “I’m gaining way more than I am giving up.”

“You need to be very extra sure of this, y/n.” Chan said seriously. “Because there is no going back.”

“Chan, I just spent the last 10 days telling myself that I was okay. I had 10 days of complete separation from this and all of you. And I haven’t felt more fulfilled, more alive, than I do right now with all of you. I'm absolutely sure this is where I'm supposed to be. Where I want to be.”

“We missed you so much!” Chan breathed his entire body sagging with relief.

I reached out and pulled him to me, resting my forehead against his and just breathing the same air for a few seconds. Letting the relief wash through us both.

“I’m sorry to break this moment.” Lee Know spoke. Chan and I pulled apart to look at Lee Know. “We should tell JYP so he can get the ball rolling. We are short on time.”

“You still have 3 days.” I argued. As much as I had tried, I could never get the countdown out of the back of my mind. I always knew exactly how much time they had left. And while the time difference may confuse me a bit, I knew I was only a day off at most.

Chan sighed. “The government has been pressuring us to make an announcement either way.”

“Okay, then let's go.” I pulled away from Felix and opened the door to leave, determined. There was no reason to drag this out any longer. If the government wanted action, I would give it to them.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Changbin called after me.

I stopped and spun around impatiently.

“Hold on! Let us get shoes on and call a car!” Chan chuckled.

I clapped. “Hurry up, hurry up!”

When he saw me JYP quite literally dropped the stack of papers he was holding and engulfed me in the biggest bear hug I have ever received. “I’m so glad to see you!” he gasped out.

"I’m happy to be here." I patted his back. He really was becoming another parental figure in my life. Like Gus back home.

He pulled away, holding me at arms length and giving me a suspicious but hopeful look. "Are you here to bond?"

I nodded. I heard we are running out of time."

"You have no idea."

"But we do, so let’s get this show on the road!" I.N interjected. I smiled fondly at his impatience.

I started with Chan placing my hand on the back of his neck and pulled our foreheads together, closing my eyes. Looking inside myself, I found the part of me that represents Alpha. I imagined it like a big ball of glowing strings - each one connecting me to one of my Omegas. Pulling on the string that represents Chan, I connected it to the spot where my palm met his neck, letting it flow through me and into him.

My palm grew hot. Almost unbearably so as the bond formed and sealed. The back of my own neck stung and tingled as the bong mark formed. A matching one will form under my palm on his neck. It really was an amazing process.

When it was done, I sighed and opened my eyes to meet Chans. His eyes were misty and filled with love. He unleashed his biggest dimpled smile on me.

The bond mark almost made me giggle. A compass. Some things are just fate. My initials were in the center of the compass. Chans were in the center of mine. A simple, minimal design that I immediately fell in love with. Good thing too because I’m going to have 8 of them going down my spine by the time I am done.

I repeated the process all down the line. Oldest to youngest. I began to flag after Seungmin, hitting my physical and mental limits, but pushing through anyways. I had to bond all of them before it was too late, and I am almost done.

So, in a cold sweat and shaking I finally got to and bonded I.N

He had to catch me when I was done because my knees gave out. The others jumped forward in worry.

"It’s okay. I’m fine. Just tired." I mumbled resting my head on I.Ns chest and closing my eyes.

I.N gently lowered me into a chair that someone was kind enough to bring over and patted my sweat dampened hair gently. It was exhausting, but worth every ounce of energy I used. I now had 8 glowing connections to my Omegas and 8 compass marks going down my back. Each with an Omegas initials in the middle.

JYP clapped and rubbed his hands together. "So, how do you want to announce this?"

I glared over at him, panting lightly. "Just tell the damn government." I was not in the mood to deal with the emotions and stress involved in telling STAY right now.

"Let her rest. We will deal with the reveal ourselves later." Chan said gesturing Changbin to me.

Changbin scooped me into his arms. I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his shoulder.

"Fine. But be quick about it." JYP relented.

Everyone filed out to head home. My new home. With my Omegas. I smiled to myself.

I was asleep before we got back to the car. Feeling safe and comfortable surrounded by my Omegas and their comforting scents.

When I finally dragged myself back to awareness it was to the pleasant hum of the TV and murmur of voices. I was pillowed on a broad chest and there was warmth all along my back that could only be from another body.

Still half asleep, I rubbed my face into the chest I was laying on. Lee Knows from the scent.

"You better not be wiping drool on me." Lee Knows chest vibrated as he spoke.

I slapped his chest lightly. "Jerk."

"Don’t listen to him. I saw him sneak several photos before you woke up." Han revealed from behind me.

"He lies." Lee Know denied coolly, but his cheeks turned red, revealing his bluff.

I smiled. "Mhm. Sure, he does."

"How are you feeling?

I wiggled a bit, testing my body. "Sore, somehow." I concluded.

"You worked yourself pretty hard. Youve been out for hours." Chan said from nearby.

Lifting my head I noticed that we were all piled up in the living room, using each other for pillows and warmth. There was some game currently paused on the TV as they all turned to check on me now that I was awake.

"Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sleep through my first day back." I am sad I missed time with my boys.

"We took turns cuddling with you, if that helps." Changbin shrugged. He was laying with his head on Hyunjins thigh.

"I guess." I pouted.

"Have you eaten today? Are you hungry?" I.N asked. He was sitting up with a game controller in his hand so he must have been playing when I woke up.

I shook my head. "I was too anxious to eat on the plane."

"Why anxious?"

"To get back. To get to you. Then I was worried you wouldn’t want me anymore."

"Stupid." Seungmin tsked rolling his eyes. Despite the harsh word, I knew he was happy. But also...sad? Regretful? He would come to me when he was ready.

Everyone ignored him. Lee Know kissed my head. "I'll whip something quick up." He got up, leaving me without a pillow and cold along my front.

I reached and grabbed Hyunjin, pulling him close and making Changbins head drop to the floor.

"Hey, I was using that!" He complained.

I dramatically clutched Hyunjin closer, making him gasp for breath equally as dramatic. "My Hyunnie!" I claimed.

Changbin pouted, lower lip poking out and big fake watery eyes. I just snuggled closer to Hyunjin and pulled Han closer behind me like 2 living blankets. "Mmm, warm." I hummed.

"Not to pressure you, but JYP and our manager are bugging me. They want to set up a photoshoot reveal." Chan informed me.

"Didn’t you tell JYP that we would handle it ourselves?" I may have been half asleep, but I distinctly remember that much.

"I did." Chan nodded. "He and our manager said we are taking too long."

I grimaced and wrinkled my nose. I knew this was going to happen. I came to terms with it when I decided to come back. However, the idea of being known as an Alpha terrified me to the very core. Just thinking about it now made by chest tight and blood run cold.

Han held me tighter and rubbed his thumb soothingly on my stomach where his hand rested.

"We will do what you are comfortable with. If you are not ready yet, we won’t put your identity out there. Period." Chan gently said, moving to catch my eye.

I took a deep breath to get my fear under control. It would no longer control me. I’m Alpha. Stray Kids' Alpha. I needed to be strong. I’m a fighter. Always have been. That wouldn’t change now or any time soon if I had any say in it.

"Tell them that we will post a faceless picture of my soul marks tonight. Let my identity be a mystery and build attention for a day or so." I decided. The anticipation will drive STAY crazy in a good way. They will have the time of their lives trying to figure out who it is. The theories will fly! And I would have more time to prepare myself.

Chan was typing away on his phone. I was thinking about the photo I wanted to take. I was in such a rush to pack; I didn’t really know what clothes I had. Just a vague idea, but I do remember grabbing my backless black sweater. Either because some part of my brain was thinking ahead or purely because of luck. Whichever it was, the sweater would be perfect. It would show off the marks very beautifully.

"JYP is fine with it. Manager is less than pleased." Chan reported.

"Too bad. They are not my manager."

Chan raised his eyebrows. "Do you want me to quote you on that?"

Felix snorted lightly. "She is going to keep manager on their toes."

"Say whatever you need to. I already have the photo planned." I shrugged.

Felix perked up and pulled at my arm. "Let’s go do it! I love your pictures!"

"But I’m so comfy!" I whined.

"Those pictures you took of us blew up! STAY loved them! They are going to flip when you give them more!"

I hadn’t known the pictures had blown up. When I left it was too hard to look at anything Stray Kids. I couldn’t even listen to them without forgetting how to breathe.

Groaning loudly, I let Felix pull me up from between Hyunjin and Han, grabbing my forgotten luggage on the way to the guest room.

The room was just as plainly decorated as when I left. But there was a major difference. The bed was obviously slept in, sheets and blankets wrinkled and rumpled. And there were several makeshift beds on the floor, all crammed together so they would fit in the limited space. Basically the whole room was now a bed.

"Have you been sleeping in here?" I looked back at Felix, who looked slightly embarrassed.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "We were having some trouble after you left. Your scent in here helped."

These boys were suffering so much, and they still let me leave. They were willing to let me go, let me live my life while they gave up theirs. I really did find myself 8 human embodiments of green flags.

As much as I am sad they suffered so much, I still think leaving was the best thing for me. I needed the time away. I needed someone outside the situation to confirm what my heart already knew. What I already knew. What every ounce of me besides my brain knew.

If I had stayed from the get-go, I would have resented Stray Kids forever. I would have blamed them for losing what I had. I would have never been able to really let go of my old life and be the Alpha they needed. The Alpha I needed myself to be.

"Let’s make some room in here first."

Felix and I stacked the makeshift beds into a corner, leaving a nice space to be able to work. And for once the plain white wall will be an advantage. It will make the marks and sweater framing them stand out even more.

I threw my bag on the bed and turned to Felix. "Okay, out." I shoved him towards the door.

"What! I can’t watch?"

"No! I’m too embarrassed! I’ll show you the pictures when I’m done." I finally got him out and shut the door firmly behind him. There was no way I could do this with an audience. I didn’t even want to watch myself!

📷📸

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[a-dauntless-daffodil]

A) You are mean to Vaggie

B) Obligatory Complication: Emily is crushing impossibly hard on Vaggie and hangs out with Charlie as much as possible for vicarious enjoyment.

harold we have a problem?? ALL OF THEM ARE GAY AND NONE OF THEM HAVE CUSTODY OF THE BRAIN CELL!!!!

thing is tho i could totally see a version of Emily that latches onto Vaggie in some kind of emotional way

Emily's faith in heaven was shaken by Sera and the revelation of the exterminations...... Emily finds out her older sister and the head of the seraphim of heaven has known about Adam killing souls this whole time- was hiding it AND condoning it- which Emily HAS to take a stand against because it's wrong-

and then Emily finds out about Vaggie.

She sees how a lowly exorcist is living in hell now, has been for years, and is running a hotel to redeem sinners. She sees. Hope.

How frustrated was Emily at the end of season 1? The next extermination goes ahead in spite of Emily fighting against it, Sera won't listen, she's not allowed to even watch it happen, she's sitting across from Sera doing PAPERWORK while people die and then Pentious is there and presumably tells them how the fight went up until his death, probably mentions how Charlie and Vaggie worked together to prepare the hotel and were fighting in the thick of the battle- and then Lute comes back missing an arm and Adam is dead and the hotel is being rebuilt-

An angel fought alongside the sinners who she used to kill, she risked her life for them...

That could be such a point of hope for Emily to cling to.

Someone in heaven did think it was wrong. One of Adam's very own soldiers, even.

I could see her getting a bit desperate to know more about Vaggie. Wanting to find out what made her switch from killing souls to saving them, how long did it take, did anything help, why did she ever think it was okay in the first place

(Emily trying to understand Sera by proxy because it hurts less this way)

And of course Emily's easiest source of Vaggie Lore would be Charlie, Vaggie's girlfriend, the only part of the hotel running duo who is actually interested in talking about anything other than purely heaven-hell related business and who will stop glaring silently long enough to chat

Naturally, given Vaggie's bad history with heaven, Charlie would be RELIEVED to see how one high ranking angel seems to actually care about her girlfriend

So Charlie would answer the Vaggie questions eagerly, bc she loves talking Vaggie and wants her to have a powerful ally up in heaven and also maybe the whole Rosie thing showed her how helpful it is to talk with someone other than her gf about her gf and Emily is so nice and kind and they can trust her and she listens so intently and Charlie's so happy this one thing is working out and she can't stop smiling about it-

and meanwhile. Vaggie is just out of earshot. Grinding her TEETH

Romantic or not, in the same way that Charlie and Emily could bond over caring about the people under their protection so much, Emily might look at Vaggie and feel a need to get closer to her. To connect with the only other angel who really seems to GET it

heck, Vaggie being in hell running the hotel might even be a point of admiration and slight envy for Emily.

A seraphim can talk to the other high ranking angels, but what use does that feel like its serving, if they don't listen? Emily can shepherd Pentious around his new life in heaven but it's HEAVEN, what is THAT compared to helping a sinner carve out some kind of better life for themselves down in hell, where the help is really NEEDED? And while it makes sense Charlie would be down there doing that, she's princess of hell- Vaggie shows how angels could be doing it too. They could be making a real, tangible difference every day, instead of....

I could see the idea of Vaggie becoming something Emily thinks about a lot

[naviiq]

7#-> 💌: a letter has arrived from satoru gojo.

dear y/n,

pretty abrupt.. if this gets through, if you're not bawling your pretty little eyes out then i am dead. i know it's a little sudden to start this letter off but.. i don't wanna sugarcoat it because i know it’s going to hurt you more than i can even imagine. i didn’t want it to end like this, not like this, but here we are. and honestly, after everything, i think i’m okay with it.

i don’t want you to feel anger right now. i don’t want you to feel regret. this isn’t your fault. if there’s anyone to blame, it’s me. it’s always been me. i knew the risks, i knew what i was up against, but i kept pushing forward. i know this isn’t how you’d want to hear it. i know you’re going to hate me for leaving you with nothing but these words. this letter is all i have left to give you. i know it won’t make up for anything. but i’m trying, in the only way i know how. if there’s any justice in this world, you’ll get it. for me, for us. and maybe, just maybe, it’ll be enough to make things right again.

i think about what could’ve been. what we could’ve had. you and me. together. free from all of this. i’d take you away, y/n, if i could. to somewhere safe, somewhere quiet. no more curses, no more fighting, no more deaths. just us, finally living a life without the weight of the world on our shoulders. but it’s not going to happen, is it? the way things are, the way the world works, it was always a dream. too big. too much. something even i wasn’t able to achieve.

but.. y/n, it’s strange. the moment i saw my own blood, the moment i knew this was it, i realized something. for all the years i’ve spent knowing to be invincible, the one thing i never considered was the idea of you. of you being the one who’d have to pick up the pieces. of you carrying the weight of everything i couldn’t save. and i need you to know this isn’t your burden to bear.

i’m sorry. i’m so sorry. i really am, you were the most wonderful partner i could ever be with.

if i could have stayed, i would’ve. you know that. but that’s not how it ended. i want you to live. i want you to find a way to be happy again. i don’t care how long it takes, or how hard it is. i want you to find that peace, even if i’m not there to see it.

you deserve justice for everything. for the pain, for the loss, for the rage you’ll feel when you read these words and realize you won’t ever get another chance to hold me again. i don’t know if this world will ever be just. i don’t know if they’ll ever pay for what they did to us. but i trust you to do what needs to be done. you always were the better one, even if you didn’t know it. just don’t lose yourself. that’s all i ask of you.

this letter is all i have left to give you. and i know it won’t make up for anything. i wish i could say more. i wish i could say goodbye in a way that wouldn’t leave you crying. i wish i could be there to hold you, to kiss you, to tell you that i love you one more time. but this is all i have left. these words. and maybe, just maybe, they’ll be enough to make sure you know how much i loved you, though i understand that’ll be unlikely. but i hope that, one day, you’ll read this and know that i loved you. that i will always love you.

listen, i know you’re going to fight. i know that rage is going to take over you— the same rage that’s been inside me during this time. but please, please don’t let it consume you. don’t let it make you lose yourself. i don’t want you to become someone else because of me. i don’t want you to walk down the same path that i did, believing that the only way to get justice is through bloodshed. you’re better than that. you always were.

this is it. there’s a part of me that wishes i could have done more, that wishes i could have fought harder, that wishes i could have come up with some plan, some way to get us both out of this hellhole of a world. but i’m done pretending. i’m done trying to outsmart fate.

i know what’s coming, y/n. and i’ve made peace with it. maybe it’s because i’ve been facing the inevitable for so long that it’s not as terrifying as it should be. but that doesn’t mean i’m not afraid. i’m afraid of leaving you behind. i’m afraid of not being able to make things right. i’m afraid of knowing that you’ll have to live without me.

i’m sorry. i’m sorry i couldn’t be there for you. i’m sorry that this world took me from you. but i want you to keep going. for me. for us. please, y/n. keep living. for me. for us. find a way to heal. find a way to move forward. i won’t be there to help you. i won’t be there to hold your hand, but i’ll always be with you in the pieces of your heart. i’ll always be there, just like i promised.

i know how this sounds. i know how it feels to read words on a page that won’t ever bring me back, and that’s the hardest thing about this. i’m writing this to you, and it’s just a letter. it’s all i have. but i need you to understand that you have so much more than this. you have everything you need to keep going.

i’m so fucking sorry. forgive me, please. forgive me for leaving you like this, for doing this to you. i never wanted to hurt you. i never wanted to put you through any of this. but here we are. and now, this is the reality we’re facing. i know it’s not fair. nothing about this is.

i wish i could’ve seen your smile once more. it’s imprinted in my brain, like a photo i can’t shake, but no matter how hard i try, it’s never enough. every time i close my eyes, i can still picture it— that soft, cute smile that always makes everything feel okay. you have no idea how much it means to me, y/n. that smile, that light, it was the one thing i could hold onto when everything around me seemed dark. i’ve spent so much of my life chasing after something, trying to make a difference. but in the end, it was you. your smile. your warmth. that was the real answer, the thing that kept me grounded. and now, knowing i’ll never see it again, it’s like a part of me is missing. i’ll carry it with me, but it's not the same. i want to hold onto that memory forever, but i can’t shake the feeling that it’s slipping away. and that hurts more than i can put into words.

goodness, i’m tearing up, how silly. ironic.

there’s so much i love about you. it’s impossible to list it all, but if i could, i would tell you about the way your eyes light up when you laugh, how it’s like the whole world falls away and nothing else matters. i love the way you’re always thinking of others, even when you’re carrying your own weight. you never asked for the world to be this way, and yet, you still choose to fight. i love how you challenge me, how you make me want to be better, even when i thought i was already everything i could be. but more than that, i love how you loved me. even when i was too reckless, too wild, too lost. when i couldn’t even love myself fully, you made me believe that i was worth something.

you made me feel like i was home. i don’t think i’ve ever truly felt like i belonged after suguru, somewhere until i met you. with you, i could finally breathe. i could finally let my guard down. there’s something about the way you hold me, like everything’s going to be okay, even when it’s not. i’ll carry that feeling with me, y/n, even as i’m fading away. it’s the only thing that gives me peace right now.

but damn, it hurts knowing i’ll never get to hold you like that again, to hear your voice call my name, to feel your hand in mine. the world’s going to keep turning, and i won’t be there for you when you need me most. and that breaks me more than anything. but if you can, if you can find a way to move on, just know that i’ll always be in your heart. always. even if it feels like i’m gone, know that a part of me will always be with you. it’s just the part of me that loves you most.

i’m sorry for not being there. when i wasn’t there for the quiet moments, the ones that mattered most. and now, all i have is this— these words, these apologies, and a lifetime of regret i won’t get to undo. i’m sorry for the pain i caused you, for all the times i didn’t

show up when i promised i would. i’m sorry i made you feel alone in the one thing that should’ve brought us together. at least our last conversation we had wasn’t a big fight. i’m glad for that. but i’m also sad that will be our last.

but hey, i'm gonna die with a smile. not because it's easy, obviously, but because i'm okay with it, because for a second, just for a second, i had something real. something worth fighting for. we had our good moments, right? those little pieces of time where everything felt right, when it was just you and me against the world. i wouldn't trade that for anything. so yeah, i’m smiling, even now, because i got to love you. even if it’s only for a moment, it’s more than some people ever get. and that’s enough for me.

goodbye, my sweetheart. don’t forget me.

i love you.

from, satoru gojo.

p.s. i love you. more than i’ll ever be able to put into words. and in the end, that’s all i really have to give you. my love. always and forever.

[beanpodz]

This is pointless but here’s what I would have done for each member of the umbrella academy during season 4:

1. Luther would still be a dancer in this for me but he wouldn’t live at the academy. He’d live with an elderly old man that he helps to take care of in exchange for a room. I want Luther obsessing over a father figure in every season. Sue me. His room would be full of abandoned hobbies (think knitting needles, a guitar with a broken string, a bookshelf filled with *blank* for dummies books). He’d have spent the last few years trying to discover who he is. Besides all of his hobbies he’d have a whole section of his wall dedicated to finding Sloane. If we couldn’t get the actress maybe we have a quick photo of her married to someone else or have that be discovered in the plot. I don’t necessarily think Luther has to have a happy ending with Sloane but he could have it in terms of getting over his daddy issues and discovering who he is as a person. He puts a lot of effort into his family (especially sparrow Ben) through out the season but he able to become a figure outside of his family this season.

2. Diego’s whole deal before this point is vengeance and vigilantism. The life of a UPS worker is so far removed from this but I’d keep it. I’d really want to highlight that this is something Diego does because he thinks this is what he has to do to be a family man. I’d also spend a lot more time this season on his family. Like him cooking breakfast or something while Lila (who I’ll come back to) is dealing with the twins while looking ready to pull her hair out. Lila’s parents would also have a lot more to do to. Maybe they nitpick Diego or maybe Diego isn’t sure how to behave around his new family that actually seems to be healthy. I’d also keep his lil dad gut but I wouldn’t make it a point of humor. It’d just be a thing to highlight the image of the dad he is. His storyline this season would deal with him wanting to be something (a father, a husband) while not really knowing how to do this and still having dreams of his previous life of excitement and action. Also would show drama with Lila and him navigating their new lives and maybe not in the healthiest way at first.

3. Allison would still be attempting to be an actress. But she would be hyper vigilant of Claire. She fought so hard and betrayed her whole family to get back to her. She might even be overbearing. Her emotional arc this season would have a lot to do with learning to allow Claire to become her own person. I also would have included Ray because he would NEVER just walk out but if we can’t get the actor I think maybe I would have killed him off (I’m sorry). Maybe the realization that her new timeline is not perfect helps to enforce the idea into her that Claire is not invulnerable. We’d also spend a lot more time talking about this. Ray would have a picture on her bedside table and maybe her and Luther could have some closure by talking about their loved ones. She would also have to work a lot harder to gain acceptance from her family.

4. Klaus’s would NOT get his powers back so early in the season. We would also not have any of his plot from the real season beyond the fact that he is now a hypochondriac. I really liked that detail. I liked Uncle Klaus loving Claire to death and them both learning to enter the big scary world would be a staple in his season 4 arc. Klaus would definitely talk about Dave more too. He’s so afraid of losing others because of his loss of Dave but he still has these worries about his own death. This could be his big moment this season. Him having to accept his powers, despite his sobriety and fear, in order to save his family in some way. The choice should be his. It would be his ultimate sacrifice and it would finish off his arc in a more satisfying way that doesn’t leave him as someone incapable of saving himself or others. We could also get his ghost army and levitation. As a treat.

5. I would have kept Five as a teenager. He’d be 17 at most and having to live with one of the other siblings (I’m leaning towards Luther). He’s ‘homeschooled’ at this point and spends his time trying to find inaccuracies in the timeline that could suggest another end of days. He’s obsessed with the apocalypse and a safe world can never feel safe for him. Lila still does not like or trust Five because of what he did to her parents in the OG timeline. But because he and Lila are still searching for danger (for different reasons) they end up attending the Keeper meetings together. The whole subway things happens but NOT the romance or the choosing to stay. Instead they both go through the timelines trying to solve the end of the world and we spend like 2 whole episodes on this. They see the apocalypse again. Five gets soft over Delores. Lila sees what Five went through to get back to his family. To save Diego. They eventually learn to see each other as family. And they’re only gone for a year before they both find the Five Deli. They’re dirty, injured, and have just spent the last year trying to get back and save they’re family. They do NOT accept the other five telling them to just die and give up. Maybe Five contemplates but now that Lila and Five are bonded and besties (please I just want friendship from them) she is able to convince to try ‘one more time old timer’. They get an exit found by another five and find a way to save the world (need more thought on how). Also after the world ends and Five no longer has a purpose like before, he finds a new one in his family and this adorable ( absolutely ugly) little dog that was eating trash in an alley.

6. Ben would still have been a crypto scammer because I love that. It’s sparrow Ben so there is still a huge disconnect from him and the rest of the family. I don’t think he gets a romance with Jennifer but he meets her. And it’s learned that Jennifer is not of this timeline but was in a squid that came from another one. I’m thinking the squid is what lives inside Ben and it’s escape is what killed him ( not the dumb as hell thing that really happened). The squid eats Jennifer as she is a hostage in whatever situation (mission by the beach idk) but she is one of the other 43 kids. She has powers similar to Viktor in the way that they are world destroying. The fact that she from another timeline is what gives her extra interest to Jean and Gene. Ben begins to gets realize he’s not exactly a great person compared to Umbrella Ben but begins to bond with them over the course of the season. Also the jar isn’t given to the umbrella academy by David Cross (already forgot his characters name) but instead found by Jean and Gene in the opening scene. They intend to give it to Jennifer once they get to her but instead are intercepted by five and Lila. Maybe they give it to Jennifer at a meeting as a ritual and Five steals it and takes it to the family. Now Jean and Gene are after them and they know Jennifer is gonna end the world. Plot with lots of moments for cool fight scenes and music numbers.

7. Viktor could be living Canada still. He still feels so isolated from the family that he struggles to be around them. I like the joke of him being someone incapable of maintaining a relationship but we know he could do it with Sissy so I would instead have him have a rocky relationship with a girl who maybe also isn’t in the healthiest spot. Since Viktor doesn’t get kidnapped in this version, his trouble involves introducing the new girl to his family and not knowing how to navigate these two worlds that have always been separate in his life. He gets to play violin still too because that was such a big thing in the comics and the violin is something that he learns to harness his powers with once they get their powers back. For what seems like the first time, Viktor isn’t ending the world but saving it. And he is fighting with his family as a powerful unit. Think early scene in s2 where they all realize their full potential.

8. Lila is struggling with her new life. She has a family, her parents, and a calm life. It was supposed to be a life only meant for her dreams but she finds it dull. Diego is showing off a facade of being happy in this life so she doesn’t want to talk about how it’s affecting her. She forms a tentative truce with five when she gets a dose of excitement by involving herself with the keepers. When she realizes she is once again in an apocalypse situation she has conflicting feelings about what this means for her and her family. She wholeheartedly joins five on the subway adventure not realizing how long it would be before she could see her family again. She bonds with Five and they both commiserate about loving their family so much but not knowing if they will ever have the ability to be happy. Her arc revolves around finding equilibrium between her two worlds and saving the world with Five. Someone she now sees as family and who she knows would do anything to save her because she’s family. She and Diego would talk and learn they both have issues with their new lives but they are dedicated to helping each other find what the other needs to at least be content. She also doesn’t ever cheat on Diego and the little Greek guy comment makes her laugh so hard she almost pees.

[marieracingteam]

The fear of a Lilybug – ls.18

stepdad!Lance Stroll | series

word count: 2763

summary: The story behind Lance's bike accident.

Vacations are for relaxing and sunbathing and being at home with the family. Vacations should never be for being scare and alone in a hospital. Lucky for her, she was never those things for a long time when her family was there.

Right now, nevertheless, Lily was scare and alone, she was inconsolable. Sobs so strong that left her shaking and aching.

One nurse was holding her as they waited for someone to come get her and her kind words were falling on deaf ears.

“I want to go with my mom! I want to see Lancey!” she screamed again. 

The waiting room was almost completely empty as they waited for her mom to come out again. However, her little screams filled all the space. The echo of the silence that followed making her scream louder.

Her mom had been going in and out of the emergency room, her heart torn between her daughter and her injured fiancee. While she was inside, a nurse had been kind enough to stay outside with the little girl. But Lily wasn't happy with that arrangement anymore.

“I am right here, baby” her mom said, running out of the emergency room, probably having heard her cries from inside.

“I want to see Lancey!” she cried again, even if she was in her mom's arms now.

She had been scared and nervous since the moment of the accident that afternoon, even more so when Lance started bleeding and complaining of severe pain.

And if that were not enough, since they arrived at the hospital she could no longer see the man and barely see her mother either.

“Lancey is inside, baby. The doctor is taking good care of him” her mom explained as best as she could. 

Her little legs trashed around at that answer. Her mother then stopped stroking the girl's hair to hug her tighter, preventing her from escaping from her arms.

They still did not know much about the extent of the man's damage, and although it was not dangerous, it was damage that he could not afford so soon before the start of the season.

It was obvious that his wrists were bad, but they still didn't know if he would need surgery on them. Furthermore, the man was in so much pain that they had to put him on a lot of medication. Between all that and the people who kept coming in and out of the room, the woman thought that the best thing for the girl was not to have to see any of that.

Now, seeing her, she didn’t know if that was the right thing to do. 

Neither one of them expected that day, a day that should have been one of relaxation before they went back home from their vacation, to ended up like it had, as a terrible, horrible, long day.

Stupid bike, she thought, and maybe even stupid Lance for wanting to teach Lily how to ride one in the sloping and bumpy street instead of on their patio, where grass would have save their fall.

“I have to go inside for a bit again, baby. But I will come back very soon” the woman said seeing her phone ring. “Lawrence is flying here and in a little while you will be able to see Lance. It's all right, baby, we just have to wait a little longer. Why don’t you sleep for a little?”.

The girl tried not to fall asleep. Even if she was completely exhausted. If it weren't for her nerves, Lily would have already fallen asleep hours ago.

It had been a long day. They had spent the entire morning at the beach and Lance had tired her out by constantly throwing her into the water whenever she asked. Then, when they were supposed to lay down to rest, she asked her mother to help her read her new book. Finally, when they should have been getting ready for an early dinner, Lance had suggested renting some bikes and teaching the girl a little on her last day of vacation.

However, no matter how much she fought against sleep, it finally overtook her, making her fall asleep in a hard, cold plastic chair.

When Lily next woke up, she was sleeping in a very well known arms. She didn't even have to open her eyes to know who he was. She could recognize him by the strong smell of his cologne and the always gentle touch of his hands in her hair.

“Good morning, princess Lily” the man said before she opened her eyes.

“Good morning, king Flower” she said back snuggling in the man's arms.

However, the happy feeling blossoming in her tummy died when she finally saw where she was. Still in the waiting room of a hospital in a country she barely knew.

“Lancey!” she cried sadly. Tears quickly coming back to her eyes when she remembered the man she loved deeply falling just before her eyes.

“Sh, Lily, don't cry” Lawrence said, hugging her closer to his chest.

When she really looked at him, Lily found out her Flower didn't look like the king he always was. His suit was wrinkled and half put and his hair was disheveled. He had dark shadows under his eyes and looked a little tired and a little sad.

Just like Lily felt.

“Lance is fine, Lily. He just needed a little fixing, but now it is done. We will see him very soon” he promised.

Just beside them, her mom slept in a ugly chair like hers with her head resting on Lawrence's shoulder. Even while sleepy, Lily could see her frowning as she held her fiance's phone in her hand.

When Lawrence moved to hold Lily's body better, she unconsciously touched the phone's screen, letting Lily see the picture Lance had as a screensaver. She had seen it before a lot of times on his phone and she could remember that day vividly. It was taken on her last day of kindergarten while she was wearing a costume like her teacher had asked them.

Lance has found it and bought it last minute –even if she already has a few ready to be worn. It was a complete winner when Lily saw the red fabric with black dots.

He had insisted on taking a lot of pictures of that day as her mom did. Her on the stage, her with her new diploma, her doing her little dance… His favorite, however, was the one they had taken at home before they left, with her in her mom's arms wearing her Lilybug’s costume before becoming a “big girl ready for school” like she had claimed.

Lance had made that picture his screensaver that day and it hadn't changed since then.

“Baby” her mom called her as soon as she woke up, opening her arms for her when she saw the girl awake too.

Since her seventh birthday, Lily had seen that it started to took her mom more effort to pick her up. She was a big girl now anyway, so she understood it. Her mom, however, not so much. She tried holding her still anyway she could, just to convince herself that her baby was still a baby.

“Where is Lancey?” she asked when Lawrence help her into her mom's lap.

“He is with the doctor” her mother explained, stopping to yawn behind her hand “The doctor took him to fix his hands. He will have to wear casts for a few and we will have to help him around the house, but he is very well. He is now waking up, but he was looking forward to seeing you.”

“I am sorry” she said for what could be the thousand time “I am so sorry, mommy”

“It wasn't your fault, baby. And Lance is fine. That street was very steep. We should have gotten off the bikes earlier. It wasn't your fault Lance fell.”

If there was any fault in all that, it was Lance's and the driver knew it. He shouldn't have insisted on wanting to teach the girl so suddenly, much less on streets they didn't know. When Lily finally was able to stay on the bike without the training wheels, the straight street they were practicing on turned into a downhill without the girl knowing how to stop. Lance had obviously lunged to stop her, succeeding before realizing he couldn't stop them both.

Before the medicine kicked in, Lance had been blaming himself for the fall the entire time. He had been lucky to be able to release the girl's bike in time, thus stopping her without having to take the girl to the ground with him.

Now he had not only jeopardized his season, but he had ruined the experience for the girl, scaring her and putting her in danger, like he had sworn never to do.

“Can I see him now?” she begged her mother.

“Very soon, baby. Any minute the doctor will come out for us and we will go and see him” she explained before looking at her father in law.

Lawrence had flown as soon as she called him, leaving everything behind. His mother was doing the same, but her flight would take longer to arrive

 Luckily, the operation had been simple. The best surgeon in the country had performed an initial reconstruction operation and in a few days an athlete specialist would see him again to see what else they could do to ensure the best and quickest recovery.

His return to Formula 1, however, was not a concern for any of them. Although they understood that it was for Lance.

The doctor didn't come for them until almost half an hour later. The anesthesia had worn off enough for the driver to be awake and asking about his family. Still, Lawrence went through first to make sure nothing in the room would frighten the girl, including the man resting inside her.

“Lancey!” the girl shouts, running to the bed when she finally saw him, stopping just before she could touch it. Her mother had warned her that she should not touch the man until he told her to and that she had to be very careful not to hurt him, since he had hurt himself a lot.

Lily already knew the hospitals after her accident and she had always been very good at following what her mother told her, so it was not difficult for her to be obedient.

“My Lily” the man murmured. He still felt tired from the anesthesia and his mouth was so dry that it was difficult for him to speak, even so, none of that stopped him from calling the girl.

He wanted to open his arms to hug her, but his remaining anesthesia prevented him from lifting them.

“How are you, love?” asked her mother when they reached the man's bed.

“Sleepy,” he confessed “but so happy to see my girls”.

“I missed you” Lily whispered.

“So did I, Lilybug. So did I.” he mumbured back, his head falling again in his pillowcase “I'm so sorry I scared you, I'm sorry I didn't…”.

“Shh. It’s ok” her mom stopped him “Do not worry, love. Rest a little longer, we'll be here when you wake up”.

Lance tried to nod, but at that point his eyes closed. “Sleep well, Lancey”.

Lawrence stroked the girl's hair from behind her back, but his gaze was fixed on his son.

“Do you want to sleep a little longer too, baby?” her mother asked.

“Can I draw a picture for when Lancey wakes up?” the girl proposed instead.

“Sure. I'm going to get you something to paint” the man said running out of the room.

The girl's mother stared at the door with a frown still on her face. Lily could immediately see that she was worried like when Lance got into the fast car.

Nevertheless, she shoke the emotion out and send a half smile to the girl before sitting on the couch next to Lance's bed, helping the girl onto her lap.

When Lawrence returned with everything he could find in the gift shop, the girl's mother was asleep again, tired from all the hours spent waiting for the doctors.

Without waking her up, the man helped the girl draw something next to Lance's bed, although he wasn't as focused as he always was. His gaze kept turning to the man.

“Flower, Lancey is fine. My mom says he just needs a little love and some medicine to get well” the girl tried to console him when she saw the sad look on his eyes.

“I know, sweet girl. Sometimes we parents can't help but worry, even when we know everything will be okay.”

“Like when Lancey was so worried when mom and I had the car accident?” the girl asked without taking her eyes off her drawing.

“Yeah, the same. We parents are overprotective of our children like that" the man explained.

When Lily looked up from her drawing, she saw Lawrence looking at Lance again. He was brushing his hair away from his forehead with his fingers just to kiss that place a few times before continuing the combing of his hair.

Lance used to do that to her too when she pretended to be asleep on the couch so he would carry her to bed.

However, he never looked so sad doing so.

Lily asked herself if maybe her Flower was sad because he neither could pick Lance up, like it happened to her mommy.

When she was sick, her mother always wanted to hold her in her arms, even when she could infect her. However, Lance was already too big for his father to be able to hold him in his arms, although that didn't stop him from wanting to do it anyway.

Looking at him, Lily wondered if the day would come when she, too, would be too big for her mother or her Lancey to hold her. It was already starting to cost her mother.

Growing up wasn't so cool, she guessed.

Lance woke up a few hours later. His mother had already arrived and she kept tucking the man in, inevitably waking him up.

“Hello,” the driver murmured when he woke up. All eyes in the room were on him. “You were right, honey, I should have shaved.”

With a smile, the woman helped Lily onto the couch so she could see the man better. “You're very handsome still” she replied, stroking the small beard he had grown while on vacation.

“Yes, you should shave. It is prickly” Lily said.

Lance laughed, immediately complaining about the pain it caused him.

“Then I guess you don't want to kiss me, right? Because I'm very sick and I would really like it” the man pleaded jokingly. His mother scolded him right away, but he had already performed his little trick and the girl was filling his cheeks with kisses.

“You shouldn't have come, I'm fine.” Lance said smiling now at his parents.

“How could we not come, my boy?” his mother answered, tucking him in again. “Your sister is waiting to find out if you have to stay a little longer or not to see if she comes directly here or to Canada.”

“I don't know. With the beginning of the season so close… The surgeon told me that if everything went well I could start recovery…”

“Don't think about the season now, Lance” his father pleaded. “No one but you cares. And you have nothing to worry about. The important thing is that you are well.”

“And you will be. The doctor said so. And I made you a drawing so that you can get better faster” said the girl, interrupting the adults from a very boring conversation.

“Then I'm sure I'll be ready for the season” Lance said, raising his cheek as much as he could so that the girl could kiss it again.

And when the first race of the season arrived and Lance crossed the finish line, before getting out of the car he touched his chest lovingly, where he had hidden the drawing Lily had made in that hospital room. He didn't know if the drawing had brought him luck or not, but knowing that he had so many people supporting him had certainly helped, especially when the finish line seemed further and further away at times.

His father was right, he had nothing to worry about, especially as long as he had them with him.

[bellaveux]

The soft college au is sooo amazingly written that I just can’t get enough 😩💕 Would u be willing to write something else for them? Maybe their first real fight with lots of angst but also hurt/comfort…

I adore the way u write, u have a beautiful way with words 💕

NOT A DISTRACTION | wanda maximoff x fem!reader

summary: being under constant stress from studying, wanda suddenly snaps at you when you try to get her to take a break.

content warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, some fluff (?), college au, arguing, wanda being a little bit mean (?), healthy relationship overall, happy ending, not proofread (thumbs up)

word count: 4.1k

note: i’m so so sorry for the long wait!! i have been having some busy weeks but i hope u like this :] n thank u for requesting!

You never really fought with Wanda. From the moment the two of you started dating, your relationship effortlessly embodied the essence of the honeymoon stage throughout most of your time together. Nothing ever escalated enough to the point where the two of you would yell at each other, and it was usually not a result of avoiding conflict. There were times when short-lived arguments would occur and last about an hour or so, but even then, they were never too much of a big deal. The two of you just talked a lot more. Communicated. She was patient and understanding, and so were you.

But soon, a subtle shift had taken hold of Wanda's world, and you couldn't help but notice the quietness that had settled upon the recent time you spent together. In the past few weeks, Wanda's presence felt somewhat distant, her thoughts seemingly consumed by a demanding pursuit. You could see it. Your eyes noticed the telltale signs almost immediately, the late nights spent poring over textbooks, the fatigue etched on Wanda's face, and the weight of countless assignments pressing upon her shoulders.

Sitting near her desk in the apartment you shared with a book in your hand, you watched the gentle furrow that creased Wanda's brow as she read through her notebook, a reflection of the mental strain she carried. The lulls in the conversations grew longer, the pauses filled with unspoken worries and unexpressed thoughts. You tried your best to support her, being in her presence in some way at least to remind her that you were always there.

But eventually, with each passing day, your eyes became attuned to the nuances of Wanda's silence. You wondered if she even noticed when you scribbled something on that empty, bright orange sticky note on one of her textbooks, hoping she’d find it later.

You then asked her to take a break, even if it was just for a couple of minutes, maybe drink the tea you had made for her a while ago, sitting cold atop the desk now, but you’d always get the same answer. No. It was a short answer, but it was firm. She made no room for any other comments as she continued to bury herself in her work. You witnessed the flickering of determination in Wanda's gaze, the flickering flame that desperately refused to be extinguished by fatigue — which, in the end, didn’t work. And it was hard to ignore.

Your eyes scanned Wanda's fatigued expression, etched with the marks of endless studying and sleepless nights. A gentle concern flickered across your face as you recognized the toll it was taking on your girlfriend.

“Hey,” you stood from your seat, moving behind her chair to wrap your arms around her gently. “I really think you should take a break.”

“No,” she muttered quickly under her breath, her focus unwavering as she read through her textbook.

“Just for a little bit, babe?” You reluctantly continue, asking softly for some of her time with a smile. “We can watch that show you like… I miss you. And, we haven’t hung out in a while—“

“I can’t, (Y/n).”

She spoke quickly and firmly, ghosting her palm over your arms to move them away from her. Wanda stubbornly clung to her determination, her eyes reflecting a steadfast focus that could not be easily swayed. The weight of responsibilities and academic aspirations weighed heavily upon her, causing her to resist the idea of stepping away, even for a short respite.

“You’re exhausted,” you tell her as if it were obvious. “You haven’t taken a break at all, Wanda—“

“I said I can’t. What part of that don’t you understand?”

You take a step back and furrow your eyebrows at her, “I… I do understand… but it’s been weeks. You’ve been studying nonstop for weeks. A tiny break would be good for you, and we’d be able to spend time together a bit, and it’ll help you relax, too—“

Wanda snapped and abruptly stood from her seat, slamming her papers down onto the surface of her desk as she turned to look at you, “I don’t have time, (Y/n). Please. There’s so much material I have to cover and my exams are coming up in less than two weeks and I still have so many chapters to go through and I cannot fail them—If you just understood the pressure I’m under, you wouldn’t keep asking for my time. I don’t have time to relax. I can't afford any distractions!”

Your hopeful anticipation melted away as Wanda's words sliced through the air with unexpected force. Your eyes widened, a flicker of hurt and confusion dancing within their depths. The color drained from your cheeks, leaving behind a subtle pallor that betrayed your shock. Your lips trembled, longing to utter a response, yet finding themselves immobilized for a brief moment by the weight of Wanda's unexpected outburst.

“I-I know that,” you shook your head, trying desperately to blink the tears in your eyes away. “I know they’re important. I just wanted to be there for you and help take your mind off the stress for a little while.”

“It's not about you being there for me right now! What I need is to focus, and it feels like you're just adding more pressure. It’s not fucking helping,” Wanda rolls her eyes and turns her back towards you, eyes glossing over her work.

“Adding pressure? I'm not trying to burden you, Wanda,” you tell her. “I just want you to take a break.”

Wanda sighs, rubbing her temples, “And, all I want is some peace and quiet.”

Ultimately, she gets what she wants.

You left the room without another word, leaving her alone with the peace and quiet she asked for. Wanda listened as you quietly gathered your belongings, your footsteps carrying a weight of sadness as you moved toward the door. Wanda's heart sank as she watched your figure retreat, the room suddenly feeling emptier than ever. She clenched her fists, desperately attempting to focus on her studying, but the longing to go after you tugged at her with every passing second. The textbooks before her turned blurry as Wanda fought against the overwhelming urge to abandon her books and rush after you, to apologize, to hold you close, and to reassure you that you mattered more than any exam ever could.

But for now, Wanda buried her emotions and tried to bury herself in her studies, the silence in the room a painful reminder of the rift between the two of you.

An hour passed with Wanda immersed in her studies, her mind grappling with the complex concepts on the pages before her. However, as time trickled by, the weight of your absence became increasingly unbearable. Thoughts of the argument kept interjecting her focused thoughts, distracting her from the task at hand. Wanda's eyes wandered from the textbooks to the empty chair where you had sat, and her mind replayed their last conversation, each word etching itself into her consciousness. She wondered what you were up to right now. She figured you’d be trying to relax by reading a book or something or working on your own schoolwork on your laptop.

The weight of regret settled upon her shoulders, pressing down with each passing moment. The silence amplified the echoes of the argument, and the memory of her sharp words hung heavily in the air.

“Fuck,” Wanda whispered, dropping her head down against the desk as she thought of you.

The stillness in the air made Wanda long for your presence, for the warmth of your smile and the tenderness of your touch. Wanda's heart ached with the realization of how much she truly missed you, and how much she craved the comfort and connection you shared. As she gazed at her unfinished work, a sense of urgency washed over her, a desperate desire to complete the tasks at hand so that she could have the chance to make amends, to embrace you once more.

Eventually, Wanda closed her books, the decision to head to bed finally crystallizing within her. Though the material lay unfinished, the ache in her heart took precedence. With a heavy sigh, she set her study materials aside, her footsteps carrying her toward the bathroom to brush her teeth before heading into the bedroom you both shared. As she entered the room, her steps weighed down by the lingering remnants of the recent argument, a flicker of anticipation mingled with the uncertainty within her.

“(Y/n)?” Wanda called out softly, nudging the door open quietly with her fingers.

The room was dimly lit, casting a gentle glow that danced upon the walls. In the quiet stillness, her eyes gradually adjusted to the darkness, and she noticed a familiar shape nestled amidst the blankets. Drawing closer, her heart skipped a beat as she took in the sight of you, draped in Wanda's oversized, well-worn hoodie. Her heart softened as she stared, and the remnants of the argument faded away in the face of this cherished sight. A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she found the sight undeniably endearing. She absolutely loved it when you wore her clothes. It never failed to make her happy.

But as Wanda's gaze settled upon your sleeping face, her smile waned.

Her eyes traced the delicate contours of your face. The dim light of the lampshade by the bed cast a gentle glow upon the room, revealing tear stains glistening on your cheeks. Wanda's heart clenched at the sight, a mix of guilt and sorrow washing over her. Eventually, anger slowly swelled within her, directed solely at herself for the pain she had caused you. The tenderness of your sleeping form, coupled with the traces of tears, shattered any lingering defense mechanisms Wanda had built. The weight of regret bore heavily upon her chest, intensifying with each rise and fall of your breath. She hated it when you cry, more so if she was the reason behind it.

She quietly sat on the edge of the bed, reaching out to gently brush a strand of hair away from your face, her touch light and tender, as though she was afraid to disturb the fragile peace of your sleep. She lingered for a moment, taking in the sight of your slumbering form, silently vowing to mend the rift that had formed between the two of you. With a sigh of determination, Wanda leaned down, pressing a soft kiss against your forehead before going into the bathroom to get ready for sleep, then retreating to her own side of the bed, the weight of the night's events heavy on her conscience.

Wanda laid quietly on her back as she recalled what happened earlier, trying to repeat all the words you said along with hers. She didn’t mean to snap at you, and truthfully, she honestly should’ve listened during all of the countless times you told her to take a break. It would’ve eased her, relieve all that tension that was building up in her shoulders. But all of that bottled up stress came pouring out of her tonight, and you were the only one there to be on the receiving end of it.

After what felt like hours of staring at the ceiling, Wanda eventually moved closer to you, unable to fight the urge to reach out to you. Her arms circled around your stomach, drawing you in slowly and tenderly as she tucked her head comfortably in your hair, breathing you in. A soft sigh escaped Wanda's lips as she held you tightly. She could feel your rhythmic breathing, the rise and fall of your chest underneath her arms, and the tension that had plagued her since the argument gradually melted away. You felt so soft in her arms, and she wondered how she could even yell at someone who was just worried about her wellbeing.

Wanda closed her eyes, savoring the softness of your presence, the scent of your hair, and the gentle weight of your body against her own. Slowly, she let herself drift, falling asleep to the sound of your breath, snuggling so close to you.

A soft warmth spread through your being as you slept, the tension in your body gradually easing as you melted into Wanda's touch. Halfway through the night, you subconsciously slipped your hand into Wanda’s, the one that rested against your stomach, gently intertwining your fingers with hers.

Sleep was peaceful. Sometime during the night, you turned over to nestle your face in the crook of Wanda’s neck as she continued to hold you. Your breathing, gentle and steady, harmonized with Wanda's own as if they were creating a shared melody of forgiveness. Unwilling to let go, she held you close, her arms wrapped protectively around you until the sun came up.

You woke up first the next morning, as your classes started at a much earlier time than hers. In a way, you kind of didn’t want to start the day arguing with her, hoping to not annoy her as much as you did yesterday. And you still felt quite upset about what happened last night, so you felt that you should just get ready for the day quietly and deal with it later when your classes are out of the way — if Wanda wanted to deal with it later, that is.

You didn’t exactly know what to expect later when you see each other again when you get home. You thought about apologizing, for not leaving her alone when she asked you to, but you were stubborn and wanted her to take some time off away from all of that work for a while. Although, the weight of Wanda's harsh words still lingered in your mind. You then realized your own role in the escalating tension Wanda was carrying. You persisted, unwilling to give Wanda the space she had requested, and it had only fueled the flames of the fight.

Your college classes seemed to pass by in a blur, the minutes stretching out as your mind continually wandered back to thoughts of your girlfriend, wondering how she was doing in her own classes. The lectures that once held your attention became mere background noise as your thoughts were consumed by unresolved emotions.

Eventually, you stepped through the front door of your apartment, your weary footsteps echoing in the quiet space. The weight of a long day's worth of classes settled upon your shoulders, manifesting as a subtle slouch. You glanced around, expecting to find Wanda waiting for you, but the apartment was empty, devoid of the comforting presence you longed for. You immediately assumed she was at the library, and that she’d probably be home late sometime in the evening.

Weariness creased your brow as you removed your shoes, feeling the fatigue of the day seep through your bones. You didn’t have much work to do, school wise, but you wanted to do something anyway, to distract yourself somehow, so you ended up doing some of the dishes that you left in the sink from the night before. The argument put that chore on pause when you left the room last night.

As the warm water cascaded over your hands, you diligently scrubbed the dishes, finding solace in the simple act of cleaning. The clinking of porcelain against the sink temporarily distracted you from the lingering tension that hung in the air. Lost in your thoughts, you paused, your ears perking up as you heard the familiar creak of the front door opening. Your heart skipped a beat, curiosity mingled with trepidation as you rinsed your hands and stepped away from the sink.

You peeked your head out into the tiny hall that led up to the front door of your apartment, your eyes settling on the sight of your girlfriend who was kicking her shoes off, struggling slightly as she held onto a plastic bag with one hand. Wanda's movements held a mix of exhaustion and relief, her shoulders visibly relaxing as she shed the burdens of the day. The sight stirred a twinge of tenderness within you.

“Wanda?”

“Oh! Hey…” Your girlfriend whipped her head up at the sound of your voice.

For a moment, you turned your head away to look up at the clock, then back to Wanda, furrowing your eyebrows as you looked at her, “What are you doing here?”

“I-I’m home,” Wanda blurted out nervously, walking down the hall to make her way towards you—to greet you with a small kiss like she always does.

“Well, I can see that much,” you replied, voice hinted with a bit of sass as you stepped away and returned to the sink before she could get any closer. “I mean, what are you doing here so early? Shouldn’t you be at the library?”

The tiny smile on Wanda’s face faltered as she watched you back away from her, returning to the sink where you had left the dishes in. Her eyes dropped to the floor, sighing quietly in disappointment as she leaned against the wall. You were upset with her, understandably so, and she hated to live in the present with that fact.

“Uh, no, I… I was thinking of taking your advice. You know, taking that break, like you said,” Wanda fidgeted nervously as she spoke, trying to ease her anxiety by fiddling with the paper bag that was hanging by her fingers. “We can do movies tonight? Or something… Whatever you wanna do. And, I bought some food, too, from that place you like.”

You bit the inside of your cheek for a brief moment as you rinsed off the plate in your hand, still refusing to look at her, “I thought you didn’t have time for distractions.”

Wanda closed her eyes, remembering her words from the night before—words that had obviously hurt you. She walked up and set the paper bag of your favorite takeout on the kitchen table, wondering what she could do to make you look at her.

“No, (Y/n)… You’re not a distraction,” Wanda started, eyes settling on your back as you stood at the sink.

You paused after a moment before turning around to face her, crossing your arms, still guarded as you leaned against the kitchen counter. “That’s not what you said yesterday.”

“I know,” she replied, stepping forward as she ran her palms against her jeans nervously. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” You shook your head slightly, showing her a look of confusion as you listened to her words.

Wanda carefully took slow steps to get closer to you as she spoke, “For what I said. For yelling at you. I’ve been so caught up with studying and everything and… I’ve been stressed and I took it out on you last night. I said things that I shouldn’t have said, and I’m so sorry.”

You listened intently, your features softening with each word. Despite your own lingering hurt, you felt a twinge of empathy stirring within you. You understood the weight of regret and the courage it took to confront one's mistakes, and Wanda was trying her best.

“I… I’m exhausted,” she continued, voice trembling with sincerity and regret. “And I miss you. I didn’t realize how much I missed you. I just wanted to hurry and finish everything in one go, so I could give you all of my attention. To focus on you… without worrying about anything else.”

A soft sigh escaped your lips, a mix of relief and longing. For a fleeting moment, you held back, allowing the gravity of the moment to linger, savoring the sweetness of Wanda's heartfelt apology.

“Come here,” you said.

Wand paused for a moment, those two words taking a little bit longer to process in her brain. She watched as you opened your arms, a gesture of acceptance and forgiveness. Wanda stared at your outstretched arms in awe, her breath catching in her throat.

Unable to resist any longer, in one swift motion, she rushed into your waiting arms. Her head dropped instinctively to rest upon your shoulder, finding comfort in the warmth and security that enveloped her. Wanda inhaled deeply, allowing herself to be consumed by your scent. The tension that had settled upon her shoulders, weighing her down with remorse and uncertainty, slowly left.

“I don’t think you’re a distraction, I promise.”

“It’s okay, Wanda. I know. I know you’re tired,” you tell her, soothing your hand over her hair as you felt her grip tighten around your waist. “But, you should really listen when I tell you to take a break. You’re overworking yourself too much and it won’t be good in the long run.”

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles into your shoulder, planting multiple kisses there against your skin as she held you tightly.

“I forgive you, Wanda,” you say, planting a gentle kiss on her temple before using your hands to cup her face to get her to look at you. “But, just so you know, if you ever yell at me like that again, you’re sleeping on the couch.”

Wanda nodded eagerly, determination shining in her eyes, “Yes ma’am.”

Wanda's features softened as she looked at you, feeling your hands still cupping her face gently, and a smile tugged at the corners of her lips, spreading across her face like sunlight breaking through a cloudy sky. Time seemed to stand still as your soft touch grazed Wanda's face, your gentle hands tenderly cradling her cheeks.

She felt your delicate touch on her face, a gentle caress that sent shivers down her spine. The soft pads of your fingers traced the contours of Wanda's cheeks, conveying a tenderness that reached depths untouched by words.

“So what are we watching tonight?” you asked, moving your hands from her face down to rest them on her shoulders.

Wanda's gaze flickered, almost instinctively, to your mouth, her eyes tracing the delicate curve of each syllable that escaped.

Shifting the hands that rested on your waist, Wanda felt herself leaning in closer towards you, her voice barely above a whisper, “Can I kiss you first?”

Your cheeks flushed a delicate shade of pink, your gaze shifting down, suddenly shy. You could feel Wanda's eyes fixed upon your lips, her gaze causing your heart to flutter. Sensing the intensity of Wanda's stare, your cheeks flushed, a shy smile tugging at the corners of your lips. You couldn't help but respond with a playful shake of your head. A mischievous glint danced in your eyes as you rolled them, a gentle tease to mask the tenderness she felt inside.

With a flicker of amusement, you leaned in closer, your voice laced with affectionate amusement, "Well, if you insist on asking, go ahead."

Wanda's smile grew, her heart swelling as she leaned into your touch. Her lips pressed against yours, sighing into them as her eyes fluttered closed. The touch of your lips against her own was pure bliss, a delicate mingling of warmth and softness that sent a wave of comfort and want coursing through Wanda's veins.

She missed this. She missed you. You tasted so good, and she missed kissing you. She began to think about how thoughtless she has been these past few weeks — how she could miss out on this and spend time with you instead of forcing herself to study.

After a while, your lips curved into a light smile against Wanda’s mouth, a soft giggle falling past your lips. You pulled away for a brief moment to catch your breath, but Wanda chased your lips, pressing hers against yours once again, moaning softly.

“Okay, okay,” you chuckled again when you pulled away once more, using your hands to keep her from coming closer.

“I want to keep kissing you, please,” Wanda said with a smile, grip tightening around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer.

You tilted your head slightly, meeting Wanda's eyes with a playful glimmer in your own.

“Ah, Wanda,” a mischievous smirk played on your lips as you wrapped your arms around her neck. “Hmm, I think it’s a little too early to be giving you rewards now, don’t you think?”

It was her turn for her cheeks flushed with shyness. Wanda's cheeks pinked, a shy smile tugging at the corners of her lips, breaking through any lingering tension. In that moment, a flicker of hope ignited, weaving through the darkness of the night before that had clouded your relationship.

In that lighthearted moment, the spark of your connection flickered back to life, and the room filled with the promise of forgiveness, growth, and love.

— navigation!

[writersdrug]

Ghost x Konig x Reader: I Don't Need You (Ch. 6)

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Summary: You (surprisingly) get more comfortable with Kortac, and slowly let yourself connect with the team. You subconsciously tether yourself to Konig, who is more than willing to help you fit in. The pain of the past begins to fade into the back of your mind like the end of a long chapter of your life.

Additionally, Konig starts asking the hard questions - it unearths a piece of you that you'd hoped would remain buried, but you still share the memories with Konig.

Chapter warnings: Mentions of violence, mentions of rape, cursing, google translate German, shirtless Soap, very EXTREMELY watered-down mentions of sexual themes (we ain't there yet, boiis)

Notes: Sorry it took so long, I've got a lot cooking in the kitchen now and I'm hoping to pump out a lot this week!

Additionally, I've had some comments on this work not being an x Reader. First off, I never want to mislead anyone. I label this as an x Reader because Bonnie is not an OC of mine. I've seen other x Reader fics include callsigns that refer to the reader, so I assumed using Bonnie similarly would be alright. I also mentioned a name ONCE in chapter 3, "Jane Morris," which I thought to be a very generic name, and I haven't used it since and don't plan to. I have a personal preference of writing longer, chapter-by-chapter fics in first POV because it feels more natural to me than second POV. The same goes for using y/n - I like to avoid it if I can because it feels unnatural.

Again, those last two thing are a personal preference. I'm not bashing any fics that use these things at all, I enjoy both ones that do and ones that don't, and I don't enjoy one over the other. When I say one feels more natural than the other, I mean it feels more natural to write, not to read. I'm debating changing the name I used in chapter 3 to just y/n l/n to make this a true x Reader. If you still feel like I should change this to an x OC please let me know and I'll be happy to adjust the tags, titles, and descriptions. Again, I never meant to be misleading, and I hope I didn't make anyone angry. If a mistake has been made I am happy to learn from it. Thanks!

Konig had cracked the code on me. He figured out that after a case of American beers and a long drive, away from the crowd of new faces, my outer shell began to soften.

There was still a wall that I was holding up between me and everyone else, even though it was significantly smaller than usual. When Roze and Castillo approached me at breakfast, I didn’t get up and leave. And when Juno used the empty spot in the gym room right next to me, dropping his bag on the floor and giving me a cautious glance as he set up for his routine - I didn’t grab my things and move to the other end of the room. That was my first instinct, but I fought it. Instead I huffed, facing the mirror in front of me and focusing on my sets.

I’d started going to the common area more often – maybe not every night, but often enough. We’d make it a habit to play poker on the nights I did show up. I was better than most of the group, since none of them were quite used to my mannerisms yet. However, Konig and Horangi still took the lead as the winners, despite most of us arguing that they shouldn’t be allowed to play if they were going to wear their masks. The argument would eventually turn into a casual conversation – I didn’t engage in it too often. I preferred to sit and listen, using the time to slowly learn more about the team. I typically planted myself between Roze and Konig, keeping my legs crossed on the seat and nervously fiddling with my Yuengling bottle.

Although I was ashamed to admit it, Konig had become a conduit for my interactions with the rest of the team. The way he engaged with their activities, yet still managed to stay reserved, struck a chord with me. I respected the fact that it could sometimes be difficult to find him on base, and that at the same time, he was always there when I started to feel overwhelmed. I didn’t need him, no… that was a stretch. But sometimes I felt grateful that he was so eager to accompany me places – especially when he invited me to go on “perimeter checks” with him, which mostly consisted of long drives off base.

I don’t know how I had grown to appreciate him so much – maybe it was because he felt similar to me, in the way that we both needed our alone time, and with how we often found ourselves slipping out of the common area around the same time, with the original excuse being that we were tired. Half of the time, we would sit in the mess hall and talk until the early hours of the morning.

“A sniper?” I asked on one particular night, fiddling with the mouth of my beer bottle. “You’re way to big for that – no offense.”

Konig chuckled. “And that’s what they initially told me.” He took a swig of his (nasty) German beer. “But, despite being handed other opportunities, I proved them wrong. I’m sill a damn good sniper.”

I huffed. “Nah, you should be happy you got promoted to Colonel; you’re lucky, you get to avoid being in the trenches – at least, as much as the rest of us.”

“Lucky? No…” Konig said, shaking his head. “I do not like being a Colonel. I’d much rather be doing the dirty work of soldiers than writing these stupid reports.” He slapped a large hand over the manilla folder that sat on the table next to his beer. “It keeps my head busy, and I don’t have to listen to myself think.”

I nodded while sipping my beer. “I completely get that – If I’m not actively doing something with my hands, my brain gets too loud. Like – like there’s a mini me in my head, and the only way to drown her out is by physically doing something. Anything, really.”

Konig laughed – almost a snort – “‘A mini you’. I like that, that’s good.”

I huffed a laugh through my nose, turning my head to hide the smirk on my face. Despite being a large, brutish man, he had a youthful essence about him. It was hidden deep beneath the thick exterior of a war-hardened soldier. But, every now and again, it rose to the surface, touching a part of my soul I hadn’t allowed to be seen in a long time.

I pushed my stack of bills into the middle of the table. “All in.” I said nonchalantly.

Gaz narrowed his eyes, leaning back in his chair and looking down his nose at me. “You’re bloody stupid…”

“Or really smart.” I retorted. I folded my arms over my chest, not wavering under his intimidating gaze.

It was unbearably hot in the room – whether that was from the tension of the game or the broken air conditioner (Price eternally insisted it would be fixed, “… by next week…”), I didn’t know. I was donned in my sweatpants and sports bra, Gaz was in a wife beater and sweats, Ghost was covered head to toe in a sweatshirt and jeans (one could ever rarely catch him wearing anything less), and Soap… well, Soap was Soap. Completely shirtless, with only a pair of gym shorts on. Typical for him to be so shameless.

Ghost looked at his cards, his jaw clearly tense underneath his mask. He wasn’t very good at hiding his unlucky hand – it was almost like he wasn’t even trying. Which was a possibility.

“Fucking hell… I fold.” He tossed his hand onto the table, revealing his sour bunch of cards. He walked to the fridge and cursed under his breath, rummaging through the contents.

“Jesus, you’re a load of dry shite.” Soap commented, leaning against the wall adjacent to Ghost. “You could’ve at least tried to intimidate ‘em.”

“You could try shutting your fucking mouth, alright?” Ghost snapped back. Soap raised his hands defensively, leaving Ghost by the fridge.

He flopped onto the couch near me and Gaz. “Miserable sap…”

I did my best to tune out their bickering. I stared down Gaz, tapping my fingers on the edges of my cards. I was relying on the river card – I had a chance at a four-of-a-kind, praying the last card on the table would be another seven.. It was risky, and Gaz was probably right in calling me stupid. But I was never one to back down from a challenge. I craved the thrill of it. Most of the time, I ended up getting lucky.

Gaz chewed his lip. He cocked an eyebrow, slowly pushing all of his cash to the middle of the table. “Call.” He said.

And I heard it – the telltale sign of his bluff. A fraction of a second where his voice had waivered, followed by him grinding his jaw. I knew I had it in the bag.

I was savoring the moment of triumph, watching Gaz stare at his cards, when I felt a hand on my back. I nearly spun around and yelled at whoever touched me, until I saw a gloved hand place a Yuengling bottle to my right, the lid already popped off. I faltered, staring at the bottle, feeling the hand on my back rubbing a thumb back and forth over my spine.

I glanced behind me, looking up to meet Ghost’s eyes. He was looking down at me with an empty gaze. His eyebrows twitched for a brief moment as he continued rubbing his thumb over the skin of my back.

I knew what he was suggesting. What he was asking. Put a woman on a compound with broken, touch-starved men, and eventually one of them will succumb to the temptation. Even so, I was shocked that it was Ghost. I would say he was showing a weakness here, no matter what he decided to call this – it was an admission that he needed something – something from me, specifically – which I never thought would happen.

He continued staring at me for another few moments, waiting for an answer. Keeping my eyes locked on him, I took the bottle and drank; my reply. He gave the tiniest nod, walking away and sitting down next to Soap – who was shuffling the remaining deck of cards, eyes narrowed at Gaz. He knew he was bluffing too.

I turned back to Gaz, smirking as he revealed the river card.

“You ever think about what you would say to those kids now?” I asked, tapping my beer bottle. “The ones who bullied you.”

Konig hummed. “Mm… not really. I don’t hold too much resentment.”

I chuckled. “If only we could all be a saint.”

“Well, it all happened so long ago.” Konig tried to justify himself. “We were only kids, bored and trying to stay on the surface. They just wanted to look tough so that no one would pick on them. Of course, I wouldn’t understand that as a kid. Maybe then, I would have admired what I’ve become, and I would have wanted to boast about it. But now that I am a Colonel – Ich habe besseres zu tun.”

I sarcastically rolled my eyes. “And that means?”

“Ehh…” he groaned, squinting his eyes. “How is it said… ‘I have bigger fishes to cook.’”

I sputtered, turning my head and laughing. Konig glared at me. “Gibt es ein Problem?” he asked, which I sort of understood. He sounded irritated, that much I could tell.

“No, Konig…” I said, standing up and giving him a pat on the shoulder as I walked by. “Just keep up the English lessons, ok?”

He scowled. “Verpiss dich… Start learning German and maybe I will.” He retorted, and I waved at him dismissively from behind my back.

I stuck my head into the fridge, grabbing a Yuengling and one of Konig’s beers. I walked back and placed them both next to him. Like instinct, he took each one and hooked their lid onto the edge of the table, then smacked the side of his hand down on the tops, sending the lid clattering to the ground. He opened my beer and handed it to me, then repeated the process with his, before reaching down and collecting the lids. He added them to the pile, totaling six beer lids so far.

If someone had shown me this image a year ago – Konig and I, sitting up late into the night, chatting like we’d known each other for decades… not to mention the fact that I was so unusually open with him… I would have been insulted. I would have laughed. No one would have been able to convince me that I would become so attached to anyone else after what had happened with the 141. Yet, all of this felt so natural. It was beyond how I felt that Konig and I were kindred spirits… it really did feel like I’d known him before. Maybe, he reminded me of a part of myself that I tried to bury away.

Or, maybe, I was just submitting to loneliness and trying to justify how quickly I clung to the first available soul. That was also an embarrassing possibility, one that I would rather not admit to.

“I have a question for you.” Konig’s voice and the clink of his beer bottle on the table brought me back to reality.

“I might have an answer.” I replied.

He looked off to the side, perhaps wondering whether or not he really wanted to ask the question. “Who did you kill? And why?”

Just like that, I felt the walls being built right back to where I had them. Bonding time’s over. Back to square one.

His inquiry caught me off guard. I froze, my bottle hovering in the air before I could take a sip, my eyes glued to the table. Just the mention of the incident brought the painful memories up to the surface, like claws scraping at the dirt, digging up the deepest roots.

“Lots of people.” I said, deflecting. I took a swig of my beer.

“You know what I mean.” He scoffed. “Why did you end up in military prison?” He leaned over the table – clearly not planning on letting the topic go.

I sucked my teeth, staring at him defiantly – moments ago, it was pleasant talking to him. Now, I was fighting back the urge to leave him at the table and go to my dorm. I felt ambushed at how he had changed the subject so abruptly. Like he had been waiting for me to carelessly stumble into the trap, and now he was watching me snarl from within it.

He leaned back with a sigh. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. I just thought we were getting somewhere here.”

“Oh?” I said dryly, cocking an eyebrow. “’Getting somewhere?’ What’s that sup-“

“Hey, it’s ok.” He raised his hands defensively. “I get it. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” His words were forgiving, but his eyes said something else – I knew what he was thinking.

Weak.

I gave him a hateful stare. Fucker know how to play his cards.

“I killed a sergeant.” I admitted. “My lieutenant’s right-hand man.”

That got Konig’s attention. He leaned forward again, putting his bottle off to the side. “Why?” he asked again.

I inhaled deeply, then exhaled, as I leaned back in my chair. My eyes fell to the floor as I forced myself to recall the memories. “In Egypt, a while back. Don’t ask when because I won’t tell you.” I warned Konig, and he huffed – but obliged.

I continued. “We were going in to retrieve a hostile target. Everyone was jumpy – me included. It was dark, and we didn’t know what to expect. After the hostiles started to engage, we were scattered. I got stuck in one tower, so I went upstairs to try and make a foxhole.”

I paused. It was now my own hands, covered in dirt, clawing at the roots of the memory. Each word I said was painful, yet somehow felt overshared. Like I was trying to get Konig to pity me. Except I wasn’t – I just wanted him to listen.

And that’s exactly what he did. No comforting shoulder pat, no soothing words… he just listened. He knew that if he stepped on the wrong spot, it would break my openness, like a branch breaking under his foot would disturb the silence of the woods.

“The sergeant – ‘Flare’ – he was up there, too. I thought we’d had the same idea, but… holy fuck…” I ran a hand down my face, feeling my heartbeat grow faster. “At first, I didn’t know what he was doing, I just heard him making those sounds and I thought he’d been hit, but… he was taking advantage of this – this woman – and with her kids right fucking there… she was probably just trying to hide, to hide them, she had to be so fucking scared… he didn’t even stop when I found him, I don’t know if he even heard me screaming at him.”

I paused, almost waiting for Konig to say or do something, but he remained silent. Despite my eyes never leaving the floor, I could see his blue ones watching me carefully. Concerned, patient, and calm.

“I didn’t know what else to do.” I said, my voice faltering the slightest bit. “So I shot him. In the head.” I unintentionally shivered. “Probably traumatized that poor woman and her kids, but… quick decisions aren’t the best ones.”

I ended my rant with a heavy sip of my beer. Konig continued watching me with wary eyes, which I ignored. I didn’t need consolation, or sympathy, or whatever he might try to offer. Somehow, he seemed to understand that.

“I would have done the same thing.” He commented.

Would you?

After a moment, he exhaled. “I don’t understand… I’d say you were in the right. Why did they put you in prison for that?”

I chewed my lip. “There was… some speculation, that I was jealous of his position. We’d been close throughout my time with the team, and when he got the promotion to second-in-command, I was a bit envious at first. People thought I was taking my anger out on him in what seemed like the perfect opportunity to lie.” I took another sip. “But I was happy for him. He worked hard, and he deserved it. But then the pressure got to him – Lieutenant was always depending on him for too much, and Flare couldn’t handle the responsibility. If he slipped up, it was a lot worse than if one of the rest of us did. I guess… the pressure is what got him in the end. Made him crazy in the end. He didn’t have any morals anymore.”

More silence. It felt uncomfortably loud – Konig’s stare seemed to make my head ring, making me fidget and bounce my knee. I wanted to snap at him. What are you looking at? Why are you asking so many fucking questions? But I was able to keep my anger at bay, justifying the situation by assuming his questions were fueled by nothing more than curiosity.

I figured I had said enough for the night, and finished off the rest of my beer. I slapped my leg, the telltale sign that I was getting ready to turn in.

Konig ignored it, or seemed to not notice. “Why did you kill him?” he asked.

I narrowed my eyes in confusion. “Why did I? What do you mean?”

“Why kill him? Why not just… disable him for the moment, and let your commander deal with him later?”

I opened my mouth to speak, but my voice was a second too late. “Again… in the heat of the moment, you don’t make distinctions like that. You think: ‘shoot,’ or ‘don’t shoot.’ And shooting him was the choice I made.”

Konig’s gaze became scrutinous. He knew I was lying about something… he was hellbent on figuring out what.

He’s going to have to wait a long damn time.

“Goodnight, Konig.” I said flatly. I collected my bottles, getting up from the table. With a clang, I tossed them into the bin by the exit, walking down the hall and leaving Konig sitting alone in the mess hall. I feel tears stinging my eyes, but that’s all they did. It’s all just water under the bridge, y/n. Get it together. You’re alright.

-----

Taglist: @igotmajordaddyissues @princekonig @vixionix

[marymary-diva17]

You remind me of her

Speaking of ones who are gone can be a hard and sad experience, and topic of discussion as the one who no longer with them meant so much to everyone around them.It could also be a good healing for a heart as well.

spider " ........" spider is wide awake as he held a family photo of you his mother and him, when he was just a baby. He is really missing you and everyone else, he had been captured by the rda when the clan was fleeing. He had saved tuk when she had fallen and ended up getting grabbed, by his father who was back from the dead.

quaritch " you should be getting some sleep kid"

spider " I'm not tired I'm good"

quaritch " oh okay mind if I sit with you"

spider " take a sit if you if you want"

quaritch " hey that a picture of you and y/n she in her avatar body"

spider " yes it cherish belong of mine"

quaritch " where is your mom anyway I haven't seen her when we came across the group or is she elsewhere"

spider " she is still with us but in a coma"

quaritch " what I was told she was helping Jake against the fight, with the rda"

spider " well she was until one day she was caught in an action, when I was with her and my cousins she pushed us to safe but she didn't make it in time"

quaritch " ......."

spider " we rush her back to camp and uncle norm along with the other doctors had been, able to save her life by preeminently linking her to her avatar self or good"

Quaritch " so she is okay please tell me she okay"

spider " she is a safe place okay from any harm util she wake up, the navi had helped her as well by doing the eyes of eywa for her ... I wanted to be there when she wake up but it seems like they will not happen"

Quaritch " I promise son I will get you home to her"

spider " I havent see you in all my years of my life and when I finally get the chance, to see you only trouble and danger had come to me and everyone I love why"

Quaritch " I was a soilder following my orders"

spider " well your orders suck and you are just a blind sxkwang following the orders words" Quaritch had soon let out a chuckle as he looked at his son.

spider " what so funny"

Quaritch " right there you remind me of your mom she will always get mad at me, for always doing what Parker and the rda said to me ... she was a women who spoke her mind and made sure I knew of it"

spider " yeah that is mom"

Quaritch " you love this place the same as she did she had said, she could spend all her life her and it seems like she will be"

Quaritch " she even made a new life here after the war and had you, kid and I'm happy for her"

spider " she is a good mom and kind hearted as well, she even made sure I had a good childhood and that no one blamed me for the actions of you"

Quaritch " yes I can see her doing that and I'm sorry for what I have, done in the past reflected on you"

spider " no one really blamed me that much as they saw me as her son, more then you even due she went if the name you picked for me"

Quaritch " hey when we married I said I wanted one kid named after me, so that how you got your name junior"

spider " nope no junior I'm spider I love that name"

Quaritch " fine I will call your spider but others will call you junior"

spider " yes sir do whatever makes you happy colonel"

quaritch " you are definitely your mother son she gave me the same attitude, you were giving me when she was mad or we fought she walked away"

spider " I heard she always won those fights"

Quaritch " she did all of them even when I didn't tell her she won, she won in the end" spider had laugh at quarich words getting a smile from quaritch.

spider " you know there no one new in her life she never remarried, she still has her wedding ring on her song chord"

Quaritch " what do you think that means"

spider " I think she still cares about you sir but I don't fully know yet"

Quaritch " well maybe this chance will give a better start with your mom"

spider " you can try but mess up I feed you to Thanator" some chuckles had been heard from the others, who had been listening to the whole conversation.

spider ' same goes for you all as well so you all can go down as team"

Quaritch " I will remember that young man"

spider " good starting tomorrow we start with training I will help you all learn the ways of the navi, so you are all not walking around here like babies and promise to my mama as well"

quaritch " thank you

spider " your welcome well I'm off to bed see you around old man" spider soon left quairtch alone as he sat there, he is dealing with other version of you.

lyle " so pops what are we going to do"

Quaritch " hush lyle I trying to bond with my son and wife"

lyle " I hope she does wake up some day the kid needs, her it seems like many people need her back in their lives"

Quaritch " yes she does"

other base

norm " how are we going to break this news to her when she wake up"

Jake " we will tell her in time but right now we need to be easy, about the new it could shock her"

max " Jake is right if we tell her right away it can be bad"

????? " what is going on" everyone soon looked at you and saw that you had finally woke up, that when they realized you are back with them and that they will need to share the news with you.

y/n " wait where are we and where is spider ... where is my son"

Jake " y/n you need to clam down as I share this news with you" Jake had soon looked at you as you laid back, as they had told you what had happened. Soon there was only one thing on your mind to get your son back and speak with these recoms. Once you get back your son everything will be okay once again.