#because all that matters in the end is that we were here and we will be remembered

[reignpage]

When the Night Changes

Synopsis: in which you've been following your coworker around, trying to wriggle your way into his good graces, only to realise maybe there was never any room to begin with Warnings: a little angsty at the beginning but happy ending, office romance, rom-com, the beginning of a love story vibes, not proofread Word Count: 2.4k Office fun winky face here

Your coworker, Nanami, is a tough nut to crack. Since entering the company, you’ve stuck by him like dirt on a shoe — which is certainly how he thinks of you, you’re sure. In many ways, you’ve become an integral part of his life. 

Being the first thing he sees in the morning when he steps foot in the office is a duty you take very seriously. In fact, sometimes you time everything perfectly to run into him just as he’s entering the lobby. Then, with a wide smile, you greet him.

“Good morning, Nanami. How are you?”

His answer is always the same, of course: “Morning. I’m well.”

He doesn’t ask about you. He never really does. But that doesn’t matter because he doesn’t interrupt when you go on your spiel about how you slept, what you had for breakfast, how the traffic was and so on and so forth. 

During the day, you’ll sporadically stop by his office, popping your head in. You don’t have anything important to say, usually, but you always find something to say, nonetheless. 

“Heya, Nanami. I was looking out of the window and into the street earlier. I saw the cutest dogs ever. They were sniffing each other’s butts. I think they’ll be great friends. Do you ever want dogs?”

The man doesn’t look up from his computer. Instead, he continues to type, a perpetual frown pulling his brows and lips down as he works on whatever he’s working on. Still, he responds, “No.”

“Why?” You ponder. “Don’t like dogs? Prefer cats? Or you don’t like pets at all?”

“I can’t take care of an animal; I’m much too busy.”

That’s a huge lore drop if you’ve ever heard one. You beam. He’s warming up to you and it only took months! You leave him to it with a bigger smile on your face that you came with. 

When lunchtime comes around, you sit by him in the canteen. Nanami sits in the corner, by the window, alone. Well, alone with you but he doesn’t complain. So, you do your thing. 

“Oh, look! We chose the same main. We must be meant to be, right?”

No reply. 

“You drink coffee with your lunch? All I ever see you drink is coffee. Unless it’s at an after-work dinner, in which case you can drink anyone under the table. That’s really impressive!”

That piques his interest. Gaze lifting to meet yours, he clarifies, “You think alcoholism is impressive?”

“Uh…”

“Please, be more conscious of what you say.” Nanami places his utensils together, they clink in a way that pierces through you. Flinching, you’re left silenced when he gets up and leaves with no further word to you. 

Stuck in your head, you replay that conversation again and again an hour or two later. You hadn’t meant to insult him. Maybe you were a little thoughtless with your words, maybe you shouldn’t have assumed his business after work is any of yours. In either case, you should apologise. 

At the end of the day, you follow him out, pushing past the other people to try and reach him before he walks the other way to you. When you emerge through the crowd, you see him. 

Him and a woman. 

She’s gorgeous. With a slight smirk on her lips, she holds a cigarette between her fingers as she converses with Nanami. You understand now. Of course he doesn’t give you the time of day; he’s got a beautiful girlfriend who’s nothing like you. 

The next morning, you aren’t there to greet him with a blinding smile as soon as he steps foot into the workplace. His eyes find you, behind your desk, typing away with your head down. He frowns. 

Sometime later, he sees a glimpse of you by his door. He braces himself for your mindless chattering, but when you simply walk past his office, he hears an irritating noise echo in his corner — he’s fiddling with a pen, tapping the head against the wood of his desk in rapid succession. Nanami didn’t know he had such a habit. 

At lunch, you don’t sit by him. In fact, he doesn’t see you at all. That’s how the rest of the week passes. He doesn’t know why it bothers him so. Though he never resented your presence, he also never thought much of it. You’re young and new; you just wanted a stable figure around. Nanami is not that. 

In the hallway, you pass him by with a respectful bow, but your eyes don’t meet his even as he purposefully slows down to catch them. An odd ache thuds thuds thuds in his chest. 

Why does he care so much?

Could it be he’s actually grown to care? 

Had he really let his guard down so much that you, a non-sorcerer, could find its way into his world?

He wonders, then, what to do with this predicament. On one hand, he could always ignore this odd sensation in his stomach, somewhat akin to moths zipping around, and on the other, he could try and see where this will go. But is he too late?

You were so lovely to be around and now you’re avoiding him like the plague. Had he said something? Did he offend you?

Nanami’s thoughts are filled with all sorts of questions that evening. When he wakes up the next day, there are bags under his eyes, much deeper and darker than usual. There’s nothing he could do about them, though, so he dresses himself the way he does all the time — under layers, socks, pressed pants, ironed shirt, tie, a blazer and then his shoes. 

One thing he does do differently, however, is hold two cups of coffee in his hands when he enters the lobby. He sees you waiting for the elevator. Then, widening his strides, he reaches you just as the telltale ping resounds. 

“Good morning, Y/n. How are you?”

Surprised by his gravelly voice, you stammer, “I’m well. Ahem, h-how are you?”

He smiles. “I’m great. Coffee?”

You take the cup from him with suspicion lacing every twitch of an expression in your face. The man can’t help but find it adorable — what an odd thought. He’s never found a woman adorable before. Objectively good-looking, sure, in his lowest times. But usually, he can only make remarks regarding their work ethic. How fascinating. 

Parting ways, you both look back at the same, him with a welcoming nod and you with shock. This is turning out to be more fun than he thought; you are so animated. 

Later, he taps his pen against his chin, squinting at the window as he observes the street below. He’s trying to find something interesting. There are no dogs sniffing each other’s behinds, no ice cream van bringing joy on a warm day (as you mentioned to him last week), and there are no rainbows to take pictures of and show to everyone in the office. 

Of course, Nanami’s aware that it’s likely all to do with perspective — he’s been finding Tokyo rather monotonous these days. But that isn’t something he can change overnight. So, he resorts to a different tactic. 

“Hello, Y/n. Are you busy?”

Clanking, thudding and stuttering fill up your office; so startled by his sudden appearance in your space, you’ve jolted and rocked your entire desk around, knocking paperweights about the place. Clearly frazzled then, your tone comes out much harsher than you’d intended, he can tell. “What do you wan—I mean, sorry. Hi, Nanami. What can I do for you”

“Nothing. I was simply stretching my legs and looking for a sight to brighten my day.”

“Uhh…did you find one? I can help you look.”

He shakes his head and then, with a final sweep of your face, he nods and leaves. 

It’s obvious he’s the one to blame for the cautious look on your face which remains all the way until lunchtime when he stops by your office, curious to know where you’ve been eating your food. 

Just about to take your first bite, by the looks of it, you make a noise of embarrassment and frustration. “Nanami, why are you here?”

“I’d like to have lunch with you. Please join me in the canteen; I hadn’t prepared a lunchbox.”

“No. Shoo.”

He raises a brow. “Shoo?”

“Yes, go. I don’t know if you’re sick or you’ve been probed, but you’re acting weird today. Please, enjoy your lunch without me.”

Nanami takes a seat in front of you, crossing his legs and leaning back. The bastard’s making himself comfortable. Patiently, he responds, “To enjoy my lunch, you’d have to be with me. I rather like your stories.”

“My stories? I thought you hated them.”

“Why ever would you think that?”

Your arms flail in disbelief. “Hello? You never respond. You just grunt in that man-ish way.”

“I do?”

“Yes!”

Both of you are aware this is the longest conversation you’ve ever shared. It’s almost comical how naturally the sentences flow out between you when before you were lucky if he even responded to a question regarding anything but work. 

“Well, I do apologise for giving you that impression. I love hearing your stories. Especially the ongoing one regarding your aunt and her disloyal partner.”

You beam. “Oh my God! Speaking of, you will not believe what happened last— Hey! Don’t distract me. You know what you’re doing.”

“I do?”

Groaning, you smack your head against the desk. Nanami winces. In a flash, he’s taken hold of your face, tilting your chin back to inspect your forehead. There’s no mark. Thank goodness. 

“Please be careful. That sounded like it hurt.”

You frown and then fall limp in his grasp. Nanami’s making it so difficult for you to keep your distance. You wanted to squash your crush and be respectful of his relationship but then he goes and caresses your cheek with his thumb like you’re precious. To him. Muttering, you complain, “You shouldn’t do that. What would your girlfriend think?”

A pause so thick it’d have to be cut with a chainsaw.

And a silence so loud it’s deafening. 

He blinks and then laughs. It’s a nice sound; he really ought to laugh more.

“Girlfriend? I don’t have a girlfriend, Y/n. Whoever sold you that egregious lie?”

“But…but…there was a woman. She had short hair. Very pretty. You met with her after work.”

Leaning back in his chair, he rubs a hand over a grin so unlike him it almost transforms his face into someone else’s entirely. Nanami practically looks a decade younger. Before you had always looked up to him as this wise, mature, and experienced leader. Now, he just looks like a man. A very handsome, drool-worthy man, but a man, nonetheless. 

Now, he actually looks…attainable. 

“That would be Shoko. A friend. I assure you; we do not regard each other in that capacity. Far from it.”

“Oh.”

He checks his watch. He sighs. You watch him stand up and brush invisible dust off his pants. “If you won’t have lunch with me, then please, join me for dinner tonight. I’d like very much to hear all about your aunt and her unfortunate love life…But more than that, I’d like to hear about you.”

“Why?” You hadn’t intended to blurt that out but the way you said it sounds very much like you’re judging him for taking an interest on you. 

Features softening, he lets show a moment of vulnerability. “Because life is far too short to live with regrets.”

And he disappears, leaving you positively, irrefutably gobsmacked. 

The rest of the day for you goes by much longer than usual. Over and over again, your mind replays that conversation, from how out of nowhere it was to how natural it felt. Just a week before, you would have been over the moon to have had such an experience with Nanami — and you certainly still are — but now, you’re also worried about what it all means. 

From observing him, you’ve always had the feeling that he carried more burdens than anyone else does. There was an air of mystery, of danger, and of tragedy to him. Perhaps that was what lured you in in the first place. 

Now, he wants to have dinner?

As in, a dinner date? 

But you aren’t wearing date makeup. And you would have been working all day, sweaty and tired and ugly, no?

Where is he even taking you? What’s the lighting situation? 

God, you don’t even have a pack of gum.

When the day ends, there’s a pounding in your chest and a clamminess to your hands. Extraordinarily conscious of yourself, you grimace when you catch a glimpse of your reflection in the elevator mirror. Everything was wrong: your hair’s messy, your pores are huge, and your lips are chapped. 

So ridiculous is it all that you just about make a decision to hide in the bathroom when Nanami steps into view once the doors open, blocking your way out like somehow, he knew where you thoughts had ended up. 

“You weren’t, by any chance, going to leave me waiting, were you?”

“No,” you say, but the sheepish gummy smile you give him tells a different story. 

Nanami leads you out. With the sun setting, casting a warm glow about the place, you two stand there watching the city come to life with people just like you — stressed, anxious, and busy. You hear none of the noise of traffic, see none of the flash of lights obscuring the clear sky from sight, nor smell the pollution usually rife in such a populated city.

There’s a stillness in the air between you. A calm with no storm. The pounding of your heart leaves, so does the fight or flight instincts that had your nerves on edge. It feels like you’ve just taken a step inside the world of Kento. 

“You don’t have to have dinner with me. We can always return to normal. I won’t hold it against you if this sudden change is too much to come to terms with. But it’d be my pleasure if you would.”

Hesitantly —or shyly— you ask, “You want to take me out on a date?”

He meets your eyes. A small smile pulls at his lips. 

“I do.”

[procrastinatingwritersblog]

AREEEES (ily)

primrose everdeen. i read thg when i was in third grade. mockingjay was my least favorite--i was too young to understand the important themes of everything happening there.

she reminded me a lot of myself. i felt like the younger sister character--innocent, protected, and naive. i loved that she was able to realize her dream of being a healer. i loved that one of us didn't turn to the dark side, didn't end up uselessly standing on the side when the older sister went on to become great, didn't die for a big Traumatic Moment, didn't just further the main character's journey.

and then she died.

she was doomed by the narrative from the very start, but i didn't realize that. her death left me reeling. i was wondering why we all end up like this, no matter the story. but now, looking back, i realize that her death got to mean something. she got to die saving children. she got to die helping people. she got to die realizing a dream.

but i didn't understand that. it wasn't until two years later when i was ten that i understood. it doesn't sound very old to me now, but it felt old to me then. i understood why primrose everdeen had to die, and what it meant.

she had to die because this is war. there will be a lot of older sisters left without their younger ones in the end, no matter who was on the front lines. war is indiscriminate. the bombs that were dropped didn't care who they hit, as long as they hit someone, and that was the lesson i was meant to learn.

but people don't go static because you're not watching them. when i was ten years old i realized that maybe primrose had an unwritten story of her own--a journey, a struggle. and maybe that didn't get to end. maybe it wasn't a neat, finished, wrapped-up book for us to read. maybe the ending was unsatisfying, because she died, and the truth is that's what death does. it cuts stories off, burns the last few pages beyond use, and their are so many unfinished stories out there that will remain unfinished until the end of time.

so here's to you, primrose everdeen. here's to your unfinished and ultimately unwritten story. here's to you, a body in the grave.

and here's to us, every overshadowed and undershadowed little sister. the forgotten ones and the golden children. the people who are both, the people who are neither, and the people who land somewhere in between. here's to all of us. here's to hoping our stories end one day, and when they do, they end like dreams do. here's to us, in the end. here's to those doomed by the narrative and here's to those forgotten by it.

here's to the bodies in the graves. maybe someone will write your story someday, but it won't matter to you in the end, for you'll still be cold in your grave. most of all, here's to the lives you changed. most of all, here's to the difference you made.

fuck it, i'm curious. reblog and tag with the first fictional death to ever rewrite your brain chemistry and/or make you cry like a baby. mine was ares from the underland chronicles (who, for context, was a giant bat.) to this day i will weep if i think too hard about it. okay, go.

[cookiecakecookie-cake]

Hi I really like your writing. I have a request. For cookies of your choice, let's say they had someone close to them (romantic or platonic) that pulled an Odysseus were the reader set out to the licorice sea, was presumed deceased, and came back years later all scarred up. Cookies and Epic have invades my brain. Thanks for reading.

No way.... odysseus..... like my blorbo outis limbus company that im soooso normalll abouttt... (i didnt make this video but god i wish i did) anyways, i hope you don't mind the fact that i took this and RAN with it. mwehehehe -cookie cake

No More Going Back

(Pre-corruption!Mystic Flour Cookie/Burning Spice Cookie/Shadow Milk Cookie x Reader)

Inspired in part by I'll Take You by @/brittle-doughie

cws: angst, lots of talk about death & war, shouting/arguments and brief descriptions of dead bodies.

War was on the edge of the horizon. Your gazed out at sea. Far off in the distance, there was a nation that intended to take all you sought dear. Then and there, you decided that there was no other choice. You were going to protect the ones you loved or die trying.

-----

"-And when I'm gone, I want you to take care of yourself, alright? I won't be around to get rid of overtly greedy cookies and I know everyone will be wanting a lot during these trying times. If you ever need help, know you can rely on-"

"My love, I am not a child."

You sigh, "I know but I worry." Wheat Flour Cookie was a cookie who often gave herself to others in surplus, leaving little left for herself. You didn't want anybody to use her because of that and she was more than aware of that fact.

"I'll ask the people of the temple for help if I need anything and I will keep in mind of my limits as to who I can and cannot help." She held your face in her hands as she spoke, making sure you caught every one of her words loud and clear.

"You promise?"

"I promise... That is, if you promise, in return, to come back safely." You smile, gently resting your forehead on hers. "I promise, my grace."

-----

CLANG!

Your spear clashed against the Red Spice Cookie's own parashu, sending sparks across the area. You hold that for a moment, before deflecting his attack, making the great force of his weapon crash uselessly against the ground. He tries to charge you again, but you manage to easily parry, sending his weapon hurtling across the room. You angle your spear at his throat.

"You loose." You state, very matter-of-factly.

"You really don't take any hostages, do you, dear?" He brushes the spear away with the back of his hand. You pull the spear away from him, walking to put it away.

"The only hostage I'd take is you, my ember."

You can't see him, but you can sense the fond eye roll from across the room.

You dock your weapon back in the rack you got it from. "... You were distracted. I can tell."

"You don't miss a single detail, either." He gets up, stretching his back. You can hear a couple bones pop. "... There's been a lot on my mind lately."

"You have a lot on your plate, I could only imagine." You walk back over to him, trying to assess if there were any injuries you should attend to. "Just... come back to me in one piece, alright? I'm going to be incredibly bored without my hearth." He grumbled, heating up at your careful observation.

"Of course. I can't keep you waiting for too long, can I?" You leave a sweet peck on his cheek.

-----

"... So, that's it then? You're just... going off without me?" Blueberry Milk Cookie stared, completely baffled. You tried to avoid his eyes as much as you could.

"You make it sound like I'm ending our relationship."

"Well, you might as well be!!"

The Fount of Knowledge was seen by all as a figure of intellectualism. Rationality. Yet, here he stood, clinging to your uniform with a look that you know you can't meet.

"This is important to me. To us. If I don't do something, we might loose everything."

"Have you considered loosing you may be even worse?!"

"... I have."

"Oh yeah! Sure! Uh-huh! Talk like you have eeeeverything under control, why don't you! Like everything's going to go well! Sure! Go off and play hero and DIE and leave me here with NOTHING!"

"Blueberry, I-"

"Oh no, nonono NO! You don't get to 'Blueberry' me, right now! Have you considered what this is going to be like for me?! I'll have to manage everything by myself and you KNOW those cookies are as blind as bats if they don't like the reality of what they're seeing! If you go off and DIE out there, what am I going to do, then, huh?! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!?" He held onto your shoulders with a desperation that you have never seen on his face before.

"I..."

"'I' WHAT?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!" You finally looked him in the eyes. They were angry, yes, but they were also full of fear. His worry streamed down his perfect face. "I don't... know. And it's impossible for me to know, just as it's impossible for one cookie to know everything. But what I do know is that the lives of the cookies around us are at stake if this isn't handled with care."

"... And there's nobody else that can take your place? No one?" He tried one last time to stop you, to keep you safe, with him.

"Do you know anyone as smart as me when it comes to the battlefield?"

"I'm not in the mood for jokes." It was time for him to try and dodge your gaze, looking away from you.

"I'm sorry, my love. I don't want this either. I'm left with no choice." You try to reach out to him, gently holding his face to look back at you. "But if I am to die out there, let me have one last request. Let's spend our remaining time together in happiness, so that you don't regret the fading hours."

He tried to stop himself from crying for a second, but it was a futile effort. He crumpled into your arms, chest heaving with his emotion.

"... Please come back soon."

"I will."

-----

You didn't die, no, but you might as well be. Lost at sea and prevented from seeing those you love for years on end, you'd almost gone mad. All you wanted was to see the ones you loved once again, but it seemed every force of nature planned against you and maybe they were.

When you finally return, broken and bettered, it was obvious that something was wrong. You knew that it'd been years since you'd last seen your home, but it didn't look like.... this.

You walked down the roads and alleyways of the once bustling city, without a single hint of any life. The houses and buildings were intact, but the only thing for miles was pure white flour.

A temple of gold and splendor was reduced to nothing but crumbs and rubble on the ground. The cookies weren't just dead, but ground to a fine powder that made the air taste overwhelmingly like spice.

Cookies hung from string that stretched far into the sky, presumably connected to some unseen controller. They talked of nonsense, if they even spoke at all. Some just looked at you with hollow eyes, were they dead or tired of all the lies? You couldn't tell anymore.

And when you found them, in the middle of it all? You wished you had died out there, so you didn't have to see the one who you once loved reduced to... this.

A monster.

[berfgrimm]

nothing else matters | choi seunghyun

pairing: choi seunghyun x f!reader warnings: smut, oral, fluff, sneaking around, jiyong's sister!reader notes: this one is going to be part of a series that i'm really looking forward to working on. i hope you all enjoy! as always, thank you for reading and taking the time to like/comment/reblog. it means a lot to me.

You’d been secretly sleeping with your brother’s best friend for months. You weren’t proud of it, but you weren’t ashamed either — something about sneaking around made things more exciting. Besides, it was all for fun. It started with making out when you’d both had a few drinks, then moved to sober kisses when he would visit you at your apartment. It was only a couple of weeks of this before it moved to occasional late night hook ups at each other’s homes, sneaking out before the sun came up.

Neither of you ever discussed what you were doing. You simply enjoyed the time alone with one another and acted casual around everyone else. It was just a way to pass the time with someone you cared about, but you found yourself missing him when you couldn’t see him. You’re too scared to bring it up to him, for fear of him not feeling the same way, so you settle for what you have, hoping that it will be enough.

Today, the band is recording a few songs for the new album, and when you arrive under the guise of visiting your brother, Jiyong, he and the others are preparing to break for lunch. Everyone except Seunghyun, who Daesung informed you was hard at work and would not break until he completed his adlibs.

You chat with the group for a few moments before waving them off to lunch, saying that you’d stop by to say Seunghyun before leaving yourself. Once you are sure the others have left for lunch, you find your way to the control room for the booth at the far end of the building, where you know Seunghyun will still be working. He always favored this room to record his adlibs, because it was smaller and more secluded, affording him the opportunity to better focus without his bandmates distracting him. You almost feel bad about the thoughts your mind is currently feeding you.

“Hey,” you say, once you step into the room, closing the door gently behind you. Seunghyun, who is sitting at the control panel, turns quickly in his chair, his eyes widened in surprise.

“Hey,” Seunghyun says, glancing around to make sure you were alone, as if anyone else would be hiding the small space of the room. “What are you doing here?”

“I stopped by to see Ji,” you reply, but then shrug your shoulders. “I thought I’d come say ‘hi’, at least. I don’t want to interrupt.”

It’s a lie, and judging by the look on Seunghyun’s face, he can tell. You didn’t need to come to the studio today to see your brother, but you needed to see Seunghyun. The group has been overwhelmingly busy and you’ve had less time to spend with Seunghyun.

“Are the others–?”

“They left for lunch just now,” you say, grabbing the only other chair in the room and rolling it closer to Seunghyun before sitting, merely a foot away from him. “Can I watch? I promise I’ll be quiet.” The small smile on Seunghyun’s lips is noticeable, but he quickly looks back towards the computer screen to hide his amusement.

“We both know you aren’t capable of being quiet,” he mutters.

“Oh, me?” you laugh. “What about you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Seunghyun says, still focusing on the screen.

You know he’s teasing, but you also know his neck looks really good right now, and that if you get him in exactly the right spot, you’ll prove your point. You grab onto the armrest of his chair, leaning your body closer so you’re able to press your lips to the spot where his jaw ends, leaving a playful bite. He jumps at the sudden contact, hissing your name as quietly as he can.

“Anyone can walk in,” he whispers.

“I told you, they’re at lunch,” you mutter, your mouth creeping closer to the spot on his neck that drives him crazy. He’s tense, his hands gripping the end of the armrests, still not convinced that you’re alone. “Do you want me to stop?” you ask, your tone more serious now as you pause to wait for his response. He lets out a sigh, tilting his head to the side to bare more of his neck to you.

“Please don’t leave a mark,” he whispers, his voice deeper now. “They’ll never let me hear the end of it until I tell them where I got it.” You chuckle quietly, returning to your previous task of kissing and biting along his pulse.

When your mouth finally reaches the spot you’re in search of, you bite just a little harder, earning the groan you were after. You chuckle against his skin, shifting towards him more to get a better hold on him. Placing one of your hands on the other side of his head to hold him still, your other hand rests high on his thigh, squeezing softly.

“Don’t get any big ideas,” Seunghyun warns. “They could come back at any minute.”

“I guess I’ll have to work fast, then, hm?” you reply, leaving bites along his jaw.

Seunghyun rolls his head towards you, pressing his lips to yours to kiss you deeply. As soon as his tongue slips into your mouth, it’s as though you switched places, with you being the one weak from his mouth, though it wouldn’t be the first time. You focus long enough to slip your hand up his thigh, pressing to his crotch to find that he’s already getting hard.

“Fuck, baby, c’mon,” he breathes against your lips.

Your mind goes blank for a moment. It’s the first time he’s called you anything besides your name. Sure, he would occasionally use other, more respectful honorific titles with you, but he would do the same with everyone, so it never felt different. But this? Hearing him call you something so casual yet so romantic sends your body into overdrive, making you whimper against his lips. You want to do everything you can to hear him say it again.

Seunghyun spreads his legs wider, so you continue to rub him through his jeans. When he breaks from the kiss, breathless as he looks down at your hand, you kiss his jaw again, desperation taking over. Seunghyun sets his hand on the back of your head, guiding your mouth back to the spot on his neck you were attacking before – you take the hint and start sucking softly on his skin.

“Your mouth is going to get me in trouble,” he mumbles, his fingers gently rubbing your scalp.

Through the sound isolated walls of the control room, you can hear another voice calling out what sounds like Seunghyun’s name. You both freeze in a panic, hoping that maybe they won’t come to this room, but the voice starts to get closer, and Seunghyun looks terrified. If you get caught, and Jiyong finds out…

“The desk,” Seunghyun says, scooting his chair back enough to give you the space to crawl under the control desk.

Once you settle in what you can only call a nest of wires, Seunghyun scoots his chair back under the desk, blocking you in and hopefully hiding you from the view of the owner of this voice. He quickly shoves your chair away from him, and adjusts his attention forward just as the door to the room opens.

“Hey, man,” the voice says, as the person walks into the room. You don’t recognize the voice as that of your brother, nor is it Taeyang or Daesung, so you attribute it to one of the engineers of the studio. “Where is everyone else?” they ask.

“Oh, uh, out to lunch,” Seunghyun replies, his voice noticeably shaky.

The man responds in kind, but you don’t hear what he says, your mind preoccupied with your proximity to Seunghyun’s crotch. The idea that pops into your head is devious, and you’re sure it will be quite risky, but you can’t stop yourself. You press your hands against Seunghyun’s inner thighs, urging them wider apart so you could scoot closer. When your fingers find the button of his jeans, he tenses, and you can hear him feign a cough to disguise his surprise.

The two men continue to chat, but you stop listening altogether, instead dragging the zipper of his jeans down. You’re thankful he chose to wear jeans that were even slightly looser than normal today, which gave you more room to slip your hand into his jeans to pull him free from his briefs. Seunghyun scoots his chair forward, inching closer towards you, and you smile at the subtle invitation.

It only takes a few strokes of your hand with your mouth softly sucking on his tip before he’s fully erect, leaking precum onto your tongue. His legs are fidgeting, but you can tell he’s trying to stay as still as possible to avoid getting caught. You can hear the way he speaks is strained, and thankfully the other man hasn’t caught on yet, but you don’t know how much longer Seunghyun will be able to keep quiet.

As much as you know you moan, Seunghyun is always much more vocal – you’re sure you could get off to a recording of his moans alone. His voice is always so deep, and his moans match the same tone, rumbling through his body to the point you can feel the vibrations when he’s inside of you. You feel yourself getting wet just from the thought of his moans.

You give him more languid strokes, licking your lips as you watch the way he looks in your hand. In the cramped space beneath the desk, you can’t get to Seunghyun like you really want to, not without giving yourself away, so you settle for what you can do. You angle your head forward again, taking his head into your mouth, sucking harder now as your hand strokes him a little faster.

“Are you okay?”

The man is catching onto the way Seunghyun is acting, and you’re tempted to push him even more just to add to the risk. But Seunghyun mutters a quick excuse about being scattered from how difficult the recording has been. His shaky voice tries to disguise just how turned on he is so you risk it, taking him a little deeper into your mouth, hollowing out your cheeks.

“Have you eaten today?” the man pushes.

“I think I’m about to,” Seunghyun replies.

You smirk around him, trying to hide the excited giggle that bounces through your insides. When Seunghyun’s hand slips under the desk, pressing to the back of your head, you find it more difficult to hide your own sounds of pleasure. You find your breathing getting a little louder, so you pull him from your mouth, stroking him from head to base with each motion. Seunghyun’s hand maneuvers from the back of your head, to your jaw, as if he wants to touch you but he doesn’t know where – you get an idea.

When his thumb brushes over your chin, you part your lips, waiting for his fingers to near your mouth again. When his digits try to trace your lips, you tip your head forward and tease his fingers with the tip of your tongue. You feel him tense again, so you keep pushing, taking them into your mouth, and he responds by carefully touching your tongue. Your mouth closes around his digits, sucking softly as you continue to stroke him as best as you are able to.

You need a little bit of relief yourself, so you unfasten your jeans with your free hand, carefully adjusting your position so you can slide your hand into your panties. As soon as your fingers make contact with your wetness, you pull in a small gasp, which Seunghyun thankfully quickly covers up by clearing his throat.

“Alright, man, I’m heading out. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Your heart rate increases when you hear the man excuse himself from the room, but you continue to tease both yourself and Seunghyun as you listen to the man depart. There is a distinct change in Seunghyun’s breath, as he waits for a few moments to give the man time to leave the building altogether.

“Jesus Christ,” Seunghyun groans, slipping his fingers from your mouth, and scooting his chair back from the desk enough to peer down at you. “Are you trying to get us caught?”

“I couldn’t help it,” you whine. “I needed you.” Seunghyun’s eyes dart around from your face, to your hand that still strokes him, until he finally sees your hand in your panties.

“You’re touching yourself right now?” he asks, his voice tight. “What turned you on the most? The taste of me or the risk of getting caught.”

“Your fingers in my mouth.”

“Mmm, I didn’t know you were into that,” he mumbles, stifling another groan when you trace your tongue along his tip.

“I want to hear you moan,” you whisper, giving him the most innocent look you can muster. “Is the live room soundproof?”

Seunghyun swallows hard, watching the way you bite your lip, still stroking him. In one swift motion, he grabs you by both of your forearms and stands from his seat, tugging you along with him towards the live recording room. He pulls you into the room with him, slamming the door closed as he moves in on you, pinning you to the wall so he can kiss you deeply. Your hand slips between your bodies so you can still work him steadily.

The first moan he releases is muffled by the kiss, so you break free and kiss along his jaw, biting gently every so often to try to coax it from him. When you twist your hand over him, stroking a little faster, he groans, grabbing onto your hips firm enough to bruise them. You know he isn’t going to last much longer, so switch places with him, pressing his back to the wall so you can drop to your knees.

With full range of motion now, you take Seunghyun’s into your mouth halfway, bobbing your head and stoking in time. One of his hands grips your shoulder, as if for balance, while his other hand curls around the hem of his shirt, lifting it so he can watch you from above. He loosens up enough to let his moans be heard – rich and smooth, he moans your name, mixed between a few swears.

When you drop your hand from him, instead grabbing onto his hips, you take him deeper into your mouth, moving faster and faster, humming around him to urge him onward. You can feel him throbbing on your tongue, so you pull him from your mouth, opting to press a few kisses along his shaft while you listen to his moans grow throatier. You take him into your hand again, stroking faster, knowing he’s just on the edge – to give him the final push, you slip his tip back between your lips, sucking harshly until finally he throws his head back against the wall and spills into your mouth.

“Fuck, baby!” he moans. “Oh, my god.”

You swallow everything, licking him clean and watching the way his body twitches with each touch of your tongue. As soon as you finish, you look up at him, wiping your mouth with your fingers and licking them clean. Seunghyun’s eyes are darkened, and you know he’s going to fulfill the vague threat from earlier.

Seunghyun tucks himself back into his pants, buttoning up quickly before he grabs you, dragging you to your feet and swapping places with you again. When he kisses you, he seems desperate to taste himself on your tongue, soft groans escaping his throat as his tongue touches everything it can reach. You can feel his hands working your jeans and panties down your hips, stopping at your thighs before he finally lowers to his knees.

“Did you plan all of this?” he asks, looking up at you as he works your jeans lower, struggling to pull one leg free from the clothing. “You didn’t care about seeing your brother...you just wanted to see me, didn’t you?”

“Mhm,” you hum, nodding your head as he hooks one of your legs over his shoulder. You brace yourself against the wall with one hand, threading the fingers of your other hand through his hair.

“You got this wet just from giving me head?” he asks, his eyelids heavy as he peers up at you again. You nod slowly in response, and watch as he plants a quick kiss to your inner thigh, eyes still on you – his eyes look different than you’ve ever seen them, almost as though he’s trying to play soft and innocent like you had done. “You really need me, don’t you?” he asks, his fingers tracing through your folds, just barely touching your clit to make you whimper. “I’ll take care of you, baby. I know you’re just aching for me. It’s been, what, three days?”

Seunghyun has never teased you like this before. Usually, there wasn’t much talking between the two of you while you were together, but you’d always wanted to try, envisioning the way his voice would sound while he said filthy things to you. You let out a huff of breath, feeling your legs trembling when he hasn’t even touched you yet.

When Seunghyun slips one finger inside of you, his mouth immediately presses to your clit, teasing with the tip of his tongue. You pull in a deep breath, watching him close his eyes as he tongues you, acting as though he loves it more than you do. His finger pumps into you all the way to his knuckle, now sucking on your clit.

“Fuck, Seunghyun,” you mutter, your knees buckling.

“Mhm,” he hums, pumping a little faster, and suddenly slipping his middle finger inside of you as well. Your hips buck against his face, and he laughs against you, his mouth opening so he can flick his tongue over your clit – the sensation of him breathing hard against you, panting as he eats you out, makes your head reel.

When his fingers curl inside of you, pressing that spot within you, the moan that you let out is needier than you thought possible. You fist his hair and bring your other hand to grab onto his shoulder to support your weight. You moan over and over, pleading with him and saying his name as if it’s all you know. Seunghyun chuckles against you, amused at the way you’re acting, which you assume is fair based on what you did to start all of this.

“I’m gonna–fuck, Seunghyun! I’m–”

“Mhm,” he hums against you, fingers pumping harder and faster.

It’s never been like this – desperate and needy, sloppy. Maybe you were both waiting for the other to take the next step. You’d have to ask him later, because now your vision begins to blur, your legs trembling as you feel your climax building faster.

You grind yourself against him, moaning and whimpering like you never have. The sound feels louder in the walls of the booth, and you can feel your eyes watering, sensations overwhelming you. Seunghyun eats you like a man possessed, like he’ll never have another opportunity – like he needs you.

“Fuck!” you moan, your climax hitting you hard.

Seunghyun keeps going, working every bit of it from you so you can ride the high as fully as possible. His other hand grips you hard to support you as he feels your knees begin to buckle and give out. You can’t focus on anything other than the waves of pleasure coursing through your entire body, moaning and whimpering his name.

When he finally slows to a stop, he carefully eases your leg from his shoulder, making sure you can stand on your shaky legs as he looks up at you. Your eyes focus on his face, watching him wipe his mouth on the inside of his shirt as he stares up at you with awe in his eyes. You hope that you return the admiration in your own gaze, but your body still trembles as you try to regulate.

“Your legs are trembling,” Seunghyun points out, his hands gently rubbing them. You try to come up with something sarcastic to say in response, but your mind is blank from anything except him. He places his hands on the back of your thighs, tugging you so you are on your knees in front of him now. He kisses you deeply, and you have the opportunity to kiss him like he did you, tasting yourself in every corner of his mouth. When the kiss stops, he grasps your jaw softly, stroking his thumb over your lips as you both stare into one another’s eyes. “Do you want to stay over tonight?” he asks, his voice so soft.

“You want to have a sleepover?” you tease, kissing his cheek.

“We could have dinner,” he says. “Maybe watch a movie. I know we don’t usually do that sort of thing, but…I thought we could try something different.” You bite your lip when you see the anticipation in his eyes, as though he thinks you’re going to tell him you’re not interested. You lean in to kiss him on the corner of his mouth before you answer.

“That sounds nice,” you smile. “Of course I’ll stay with you.” Seunghyun grins wider, leaning in to kiss you again.

“You guys are so cute!”

The voice that rings out over the intercom of the booth scares you both, sending you scrambling away from one another as if you were on fire. Seunghyun’s eyes are wide, and you hurry to pull your jeans back on, out of view of the person on the other side of the window in the control room. Seunghyun stands up, peering through the window, a flush hitting his cheeks.

“I think we could mix some of these moans into a backing track,” the voice goes on, and you recognize it finally – Daesung.

“Fuck,” you grumble, finally fully clothed again so you can stand and join Seunghyun in looking through the window. Both Daesung and Taeyang are standing in the control room, laughing maniacally as they see the expressions on your faces.

“You assholes!” Seunghyun exclaims, his tone whiny and angry at once. “You didn’t record that, did you? Jiyong will kill us if–”

“No, we didn’t,” Taeyang says, calming his laughter enough to speak. “But you should really be more careful. Jiyong is in the booth down the hall, and he could have just as easily caught you.” Seunghyun sighs, taking your hand gently as he leads you from the booth and back into the control room.

“So, how long has this been going on?” Daesung asks, gesturing between the two of you.

“Do you pay my bills?” you ask, knitting your eyebrows together as you peer back at Daesung.

“No…” he answers, visibly confused.

“Then, it’s not your business what I do, is it?”

“Don’t push them, baby,” Seunghyun warns, laughing quietly.

“Oh, it’s ‘baby’, is it?” Daesung laughs. “It must really be serious.”

Seunghyun spends the next several minutes trying to convince his bandmates to keep your secret, begging and offering them whatever they wanted in exchange for their silence. You tune out, too focused on Seunghyun still holding your hand, fingers laced with yours. You focus on Daesung’s teasing of the nature of your relationship, and the way Seunghyun didn’t correct him. And most importantly, you focus on your night with Seunghyun, and what else will come of your relationship.

[crazycat010]

Jealousy Jealousy

Levi Ackerman x Reader

Based on the song "Jealousy Jealousy" by Olivia Rodrigo.

Warnings: insecurities, angst, sad, small fluff, reader loses her friend because of a new girl named Natasha (sorry if that's your name), unrequited love, mention of death and sacrificing yourself for Humanity's sake. Sad angsty ending but I'll do a part 2 if you want.

Reader insert, no reference to reader's body so it can be seen as female, gender neutral and male reader

"All your friends are so cool, you go out every night In your daddy's nice car, yeah, you're living the life Got a pretty face, a pretty boyfriend too I wanna be you so bad, and I don't even know you"

“Y/n?”

“Earth to Y/n?”

“Y/NNNN!” Hange yelled, pulling you out of your daydream.

“Sh!t sorry. I zoned out, again.” You explained yourself, trying to look anywhere but in your friend’s eyes.

“It’s what you’ve been doing this whole week. Just ask him out already!” She whisper-yelled.

“I don’t know who you’re talking about.” You replied stubbornly.

“C’mon Y/n, you’ve liked him since you first met him! If you don’t tell him how you feel now, you may never get the chance to!” Petra added.

“Thanks a lot you guys…” You said, slumping back in your seat lazily. How were you supposed to tell him, your Captain, Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, The Levi Ackerman, you were in love with him and had been for years now. You’d probably just make it weird and ruin your friendship with him, because no way in hell did he reciprocate your feelings.

“You know what? If you’re not going to tell him, I will!” Hange said resolute and determined to end your suffering. She had been your best friend since you’d graduated from being simple Cadets and knew better than anyone how much you were actually worth though also how much you thought lowly of yourself because of your insecurities and negative thoughts.

“WHAT?! NO!” You didn’t notice you’d raised your voice until you realized everyone was staring at you.

Your face became beet red as you waved it off with a small “Don’t worry, everything’s fine. We’re all fine.” Successfully getting everyone to go back to what they were previously doing.

“I wasn’t lying before, I’ll tell him if you don’t.” She went back to whispering, drawing your attention back to the stressful topic.

“Okay, okay fine. I’ll tell him! I just, need to get us a moment together, the perfect moment. I’ll think about it tomorrow, when I go to my parents’ house.”

Your friends, including Mike, Oluo, Eld and Gunther, high-fived each other victoriously, but were quick to act nonchalant as soon as they saw their Captain approaching you.

“What’s happening? I heard some commotion coming from here just minutes ago.” He asked, eyeing you all with his usual scowl.

Suddenly, your shoes became a very interesting view as Hange quickly answered: “Don’t worry Captain. Nothing happened! Y/n here was just…telling us about a few hand-to-hand combat techniques and discussing them with the team.”

He glanced at your petrified form questioningly, but swiftly came to the decision it was not an important matter.

“Anyways, I wanted to tell you, tomorrow a new member will be joining the Levi Squad, I want you all to welcome her but most importantly make sure to get along with her.” He continued.

You and the rest of the team stared at each other with a shocked expression on your face, though Petra was the first to speak up: “You referred to the new member with a her, so I suppose she’s a girl. Who is she?”

“Yeah, and when will we meet her?” Eld chimed in.

“Her name is Natasha and you’ll all meet her tomorrow morning at training, the rest, you can ask her for yourself.” He answered before retreating back to his office to finish writing the last papers before going to bed.

“Well, that’s new…” Eld said.

“Who even is she? I mean, she must be great with her skills and everything if Levi accepted her in our team.” Oluo said.

“I guess we’ll find out tomorrow. You don’t know anything about this, do you Hange?” Gunther sighed, running a hand through his neatly combed hair.

“I’m just as surprised as you are. How about you Mike?” The scientist returned the question to the silent blonde.

“Don’t look at me! I know about this just as much as you do.” He raised his hands in the air defensively.

“So she’s suddenly joining the team, nobody knows about her and Levi promptly refuses to tell us anything. She sure was able to become the center of attention before even coming.” Erd said.

“Hey Y/n, you okay?” Hange questioned you.

You had zoned out again…This Natasha girl sounded quite mysterious, but most of all, you weren’t accustomed to Levi’s eyes subtly lighting up when he talked about someone.

“Yeah, yeah don’t worry. I’m just tired, that’s all. In fact, I think I’mma head to bed, anybody coming with?” You got up from your seat lazily.

“Nah. I still have a few hours left to enjoy in me. See you in two days, right?” Gunther replied for everyone.

“Yeah.” You walked alone to your bedroom as unanswered questions swirled through your mind, mostly regarding Natasha and Levi. You pushed them down though, because they surely weren’t gonna ruin your free day with your parents.

The next day you woke up early and headed to town, where your parents owned a bakery. Your family’s apartment was right over it and you could still recall how much you used to help your parents when they were at work, sometimes getting scolded for not wanting to go to bed. You didn’t spend as much time there now, but Levi usually left you a few free days per month to visit your parents, and you sometimes also brought the rest of your team with you to have a hearty meal by the fireplace. 

As always, your parents were marveled to see you and the day flew by too quickly. In the blink o an eye, you were back at the Scout’s, going to bed earlier than usual because of the tiredness caused by all the riding.

The next day, you were woken up by a ray of sunshine seeping through your window and illuminating the room.

You saw your companion Petra soundly sleeping on the bed on the other side of the room, so you dressed yourself without making any noise and walked your way to the stables.

“Hello Grass Goblin!” You saluted your hooved friend smirking happily. Her real name was Lily, in honor of the beautiful flowers you put in her hair when you braided it, but you’d had her for so much time you had become besties to the point the nickname rolled off your tongue more naturally than her real name.

You brought your horse out for a ride, fed her and combed her hair into a beautiful braid with a few flowers tucked in between.

Before you’d realized, it wast time for you to go to training, which meant you’d finally get to meet this mysterious Natasha.

You were sure you had arrived on time, nonetheless, the moment you stepped into the training area you found your team, Levi and an unfamiliar blondie chatting loudly and carelessly, as if they had been friends since forever.

To say this whole situation weirded you out was an understatement: your teammates had taken days or even months to warm up to you, and if Levi talked to you now it was only thanks to the years of hard work and missions done for and with him. Nonetheless, they had become best friends with this new chick in what, a day and a half? From where you stood, you could also see Levi smiling. Okay, what? Like, you didn’t even think the word “smile” existed in his vocabulary and suddenly he was there, grinning ear to ear in the face of this new kid?!

You approached the laughing group in a matter of minutes with a weird: “Hey guys!”

The moment they saw you, they all shut up and stopped laughing, turning to look at their shoes or share strange looks with each other.

You shrugged it off: focusing on this situation wouldn’t bring you any good and you still had to figure out a way to talk to Levi about your feelings.

Levi spoke up: “So, for today’s training we’ll divide the team into pairs and do some exercises in the woods. Form the pairs and go grab your horses, we’ll meet there in 10. Oh, and Gunther, you’re coming with me.”

Gunther visibly slumped, shoulders dropping as he prepared himself mentally for hours of scoldings and glares from his Captain.

As soon as Levi was out of range, you hit Gunther lightly in the shoulder, telling him ironically: “C’mon man, wasn’t it your dream to work with the Levi Ackerman?”

“Yeah, until I actually started working with him! He scolds me so much I wouldn’t be surprised if he got angry with me because of my favorite color.”

“What’s your favorite color?” You asked him, heading to the stables once again.

“Blue, yours?”

“Don’t really have one. I like all bright colors equally, though it depends on the day.”

“You know what? I ain’t even gonna ask you questions. Learned my lesson over the years.” He laughed, departing to go get his horse.

Oluo and Erd had formed a pair, and you saw Petra chatting with Anastasia on the other side of the stables, so you went to ask her: “Hi Anastasia! Hi Petra! Would you like to be in pair with me for the exercises?”

“Sorry Y/n, I’m already with Anastasia and we can’t be in three…” She tried to explain herself.

“Because…?” What was up with her? Levi always let you form groups of three with another teammate whenever someone was missing.

“Because we can’t, okay? Stop asking dumb questions!” She basically hissed at you, annoyed.

Okay, what was happening? You’re away for what, a night and a couple of hours and they all hate you out of the blue? You watched as the two girls got on their horses, giggling like two teenage girls and rode off, not even bothering to wait for you.

A wave of sadness washed over you, and you could feel tears welling up in your eyes, yet you took all your strong will and pushed them back, not wanting to show the vulnerable side of you for idiotic situations like this. You had always been very emotional, and nobody before your team and Hange had ever gone out of their way to help you or talk to you. When you’d joined the Cadets you were pretty much of a loner, but Hange had managed to get you out of your shell and you’d learned how to make friends, eventually leading to you befriending the infamous ‘Levi Squad’.

However, you were probably overthinking it all, as usual. Your friends wouldn’t possibly leave you just like this, with no warning or reason whatsoever, right?

You headed to the woods’ entrance, were the rest of your team was awaiting you.

“So, are all the pairs formed?” Levi asked.

“Yeah” Everybody answered, except for you, though he didn’t notice it and went off to explain the exercises to everyone.

The training had been agonizingly long and painful and, as soon as sundown approached, you were all eager to get off your horses, eat something and skedaddle to bed as quickly as possible.

“Hey guys, how about we all have dinner together?” You suggested.

“Sorry Y/n, but me and Natasha wanted to eat together and then chat for a bit.” Petra apologized.

“No can do, me and the boys are going in town. Sorry.” Erd answered.

“Oh…Okay. That’s fine, it’s absolutely fine. I-I mean, it’s not like we don’t already see each other every day right?” You said awkwardly.

Petra offered you an apologetic smile and then went off with her new friend, the boys getting their horses to the stables.

You didn’t exactly know what you would do that night, but perhaps you could wait for Hange to finish her shift at the Lab and have dinner with her.

After hours spent wandering around the huge building, it was finally the time of the end of her shift, so you ran to her study eager to tell her about your day and hear about hers, as you did almost every night.

“Hangeeeee!!!” You exclaimed, barging into her room with a big smile plastered on your face, excitement etched all over your features.

“Hey Y/n!” She responded. There was something off about the way she was acting, and you’d noticed how she was way less happy to see you than usual, so you decided to investigate: “What’s up with you today?”

“Listen Y/n, I’m truly sorry. I know you’ve been waiting for me to finish this job for hours so we could eat together, but I already had something planned tonight and I really don’t want to miss it. You wouldn’t mind if we skipped today’s daily catch up, right?” She pleaded.

You were taken aback, what has happening? You’re absent for a day and suddenly nobody can eat or spend time with you?

“So…?” She asked again, seeing as you’d zoned out.

“Y-yeah yeah, ’s fine don’t worry.” You gave her a tight lipped smile, shutting the door behind you and going outside on a walk to clear your mind.

The next few days were spent like this, everyone seemingly avoiding your presence. Hange had started having more and more plans at dinner so you never actually got to talk, and the rest of your team were just ignoring you, making up fake excuses in order to not spend time with you. However, you’d noticed how they always regrouped with Natasha. One day, you decided you wanted to get to know this new girl, and with only good intentions in your heart, you approached her while she chatted with Petra and Hange. What you didn’t expect, however, was the side eye she gave you, chuckling under her breath and asking: “Who’re you?”

“I’m Y/n, one of your teammates.” You answered.

“Really? Didn’t think Levi would ever choose a comrade so ugly and annoying.” She continued, though facing your two ex-friends now: “C’mon girls. Have you ever seen her actually do anything? She spends all the training just drooling at our Captain.”

You looked at her in utter confusion, turning to your friends as Hange grabbed your wrist and dragged you away from the pathetic blondie.

“Who the fuck does she think she is?” You hissed.

“Hey Y/n, calm down, you’re overreacting. I swear she’s nice, you just need to get used to her.”

“So what, you’re like defending her now?” You scoffed, not wanting to believe your best friend of a lifetime was turning against you.

“Why? Can’t I? She’s my friend.” Hange replied.

“You’re my friend too!” You spat back.

She didn’t say anything, so you took that as your cue to leave.

You locked yourself in your room and didn’t get out for hours, crying and sobbing because it suddenly felt like you were unwanted and unloved, just like the first time you’d come here.

You needed some fresh air, so you decided to head out for a ride with Lily. Just as you got out of the building, you heard some loud chatter and a faint smell of marshmallows coming from the other side of the building.

You followed the noise, realizing it came from the porch were you usually ate dinner around a fire with your friends, before the whole Natasha-thing happened.

You hid behind a pillar, recognizing all your friends’ voices, trying to recompose yourself in order to go see what all this was about without letting your troubled side show.

The first thing you saw were your friends in a circle, rounded around a fire, roasting marshmallow on wooden sticks. The next thing, though, is what hurt you the most: Natasha was sitting on a boy’s lap, kissing him passionately, her marshmallow long forgotten on the ground. As they separated themselves to catch their breath, giggling like high schoolers, you recognized your Captain and love of a lifetime as the one who was kissing her. He was looking at her so affectionately, completely focused on her and with a love sick look in his eyes you’d never seen him with.

Is this what your friends had been doing every night behind your back?

Tears streaming down your face, you stomped in the area, all your friends suddenly noticing your presence as the chatter ended in a matter of seconds.

Nobody dared to look at your fiery eyes, opting to look at the ground instead.

“What is this?” You broke the silence, venom in your words.

Hange was the first one to get up, trying to get your wrist like she always did when she wanted you to calm down. “Y/n please.”

“Oh don’t you Y/n me! You hung out together, leaving me out  for all this time, not even once thinking about asking me to join, when I’ve been inviting you to eat together every single day.” You said, words latched with anger.

“We can explain, please Y/n!” She pleaded you, but you slapped her hand off of you, repelled by her.

“No, we don’t need to explain ourselves to her, do we guys?” Natasha had rose up to her feet, facing you with a smug smirk.

“She’s right Y/n. Can’t we have other friends? Or do we have to spend every second of our lives with you?” Petra argued, going to stand by her new friend.

“Spend every…What the heck you guys? I’m away for one day and you all suddenly hate me?” You were trying as hard as you could to not let your emotions get in the way, but it was noticeable how your voice had cracked mid-sentence.

“We don’t hate you Y/n. We’re just tired…” Gunther answered lazily, not tearing his gaze away from his half burnt marshmallow.

“Of what Gunther? Tired of what?”

“Of you Y/n! Don’t you understand? They’re all sick of you trying to always be the center of attention, you’re useless and you act so childishly and god, you’re so damn emotional!” Natasha said.

You simply stared at them, tears pooling in your eyes and body trembling as your mind wasn’t able to register what was happening. All your greatest fears were coming to life: your friends had turned their back on you and hated you with all their guts. They’d eventually leave you and you’d become the same lonely loser you always had been.

“We’re sorry we had to break it to you this way, but she’s right, Y/n. We’re tired of you.” Erd finally spoke up, his voice lacking the usual warmth you once found comfort in.

It felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. Your chest tightened, a suffocating weight pressing down on you. Their words rang in your ears, over and over again, slicing through you like a thousand tiny blades.

Your lips parted, but no words came out—just a sharp inhale, like a drowning person gasping for breath. Your fingers clenched into fists at your sides, trying to steady yourself, but it was pointless. The trembling wouldn’t stop.

Then, your eyes found him.

Levi stood there, arms crossed, his usual unreadable expression in place. He hadn't spoken, hadn’t even looked at you properly. But what shattered you completely was what he didn’t do—he didn’t defend you. Not once.

Because he didn’t care.

Not about you. Not like you had hoped.

Not like he did for her.

Natasha was standing close to him, too close, her hand brushing against his arm as she smirked at you, victorious. And Levi let it happen. He let her claim him, let her act like she belonged by his side.

A choked sob escaped before you could stop it. You felt the tears spill over, warm against your cheeks as your body moved on its own.

You ran.You pushed past them, ignoring Hange’s desperate call of your name, ignoring the sting of their words echoing in your mind.

Your feet carried you blindly through the hallways of the barracks, past flickering candlelight and empty corridors, until you reached the safety of your dorm.

Slamming the door shut behind you, you collapsed onto your bed, burying your face in your pillow as the sobs wracked your body.

You had never felt more alone.

You had lost them.

And worst of all… you had lost him.

The next day you woke up with a throbbing headache, eyes puffy from all the crying and snot filling your nostrils.

You sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the ground, your heart heavy and tight. You could hear their voices outside your room—Levi and Natasha laughing, talking easily. Your stomach twisted.

The sound of it was enough to send you spiraling into a pit of self-doubt.

You’d spent so much time pushing those feelings down. Trying to convince yourself you were strong, that you weren’t someone to get lost in jealousy, but now, it was impossible to ignore.

You wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to shut out the thoughts that swirled in your mind. Natasha was everything you weren’t. Beautiful. Confident. Easy to talk to. And Levi... Levi always looked at her like she was perfect. You could see it, even when Natasha wasn’t around. It was the way he smiled when she walked into a room, the way his gaze lingered just a little too long.

He’d never look at you like that.

Your fingers ran through your hair, the weight of the realization sinking in. The truth you refused to see until now was clear. Levi would never love you the way he loved Natasha. He wouldn’t even have to think twice about it. Natasha had everything—beauty, grace, strength. All you had were scars, insecurities, and the weight of your own broken heart.

You’d never been able to see yourself the way Levi saw you, and now... now you didn’t know how to make him see you differently. You weren’t enough. You were never going to be enough.

Your breath hitched as you looked in the mirror. Your reflection was a stranger—a girl who had tried so hard to fit in, to pretend she was something she wasn’t, to make herself worthy of the things she could never have. You weren’t Natasha. You’d never be Natasha.

Your fingers brushed the scars that marked your skin—physical reminders of all the things you’d lost, all the parts of yourself you could never get back.

And then there was Levi.

You knew you could never ask him to choose you over Natasha. Natasha was everything you weren’t. She had beauty that drew people in, confidence that made everyone love her. You didn’t have that. You were just... ordinary, bruised, broken.

"He doesn’t love me," you whispered under your breath, your voice barely audible. "He loves her.”

A bitter laugh escaped your lips, and you hated yourself for feeling this way, for being so weak, for letting your insecurities get the best of you. But it was undeniable. Every time you saw the way Levi looked at Natasha, you couldn’t help but feel like you were competing with a version of yourself you could never reach.

Your heart felt like it was cracking. Maybe you’d fooled yourself into thinking he could love you.

Maybe he did, but he would always love Natasha more.

Your chest tightened, the tears starting to blur your vision. You wiped them away angrily.

No, you couldn’t be this girl. You couldn’t let jealousy take over. But the truth was clear now. Levi would never see you the way you wanted him to.

With an agonizingly slow pace, you got ready for today’s mission: you and the rest of the Levi Squad were going to head out of the Walls. You couldn’t leave now, not when the formation included you as a spotter for Titans, but perhaps you could free them of your presence after the mission.

You didn’t go to breakfast, stomach closed and eating having become only a small problem at the end of the list of the things you had to fix, or end, in this case.

With an empty look in your eyes, you headed to the stables, finding your teammates also getting ready for the mission.

They were silent, though for once, you didn’t want to break the silence. You started to realize how much it was valuable: it wasn’t something you needed to fill anymore, but something that filled you.

You sensed their apologetic looks, Natasha’s victorious smile and Levi’s usual cold yet troubled gaze, but you kept your eyes trained on the ground in front of you, or on the surrounding land once you were out of the walls.

As you were returning after a long day of scouting, a group of Titans approached you, running at an insane speed.

“They’re catching up on us!” Petra exclaimed, terror filling the senses of you all.

“What do we have to do Levi?” Natasha asked her new boyfriend.

“We have to keep riding, let’s hope we can reach the walls in time.” He replied.

“We’re never gonna make, they’re running way faster than usual!” Erd said.

“The Captain told us to keep riding, so shut up and do what you’ve been ordered to!” Gunther scolded you, putting everyone back in position.

Suddenly, the Walls came into view: you’d made it, you were going to live!

Your hope was quick to die however, as you looked back and saw the Titans at barely miles apart. They would have reached you before you could make it back.

You were all going to die! You had to do something!

You took a long breath, a peaceful smile appearing on your face.

“Why are you smiling? We’re going to die!” Petra asked you, worried.

“No you’re not. You’re not going to die today…” You’d made your decision, yet deep down, you’d always known. You loved your friends and cared about them too deeply to let them die at the hands of such monstrous creatures. Even though they had all been little sh!ts to you in the past few days, they were all the most loving and caring souls one could find inside the walls. Without looking back, they’d offered their lives, sacrificing their future for a greater good, in order to save Humanity, even though nobody was there to save them. They were skilled warriors and Humanity would already have been destroyed it it weren’t for their work. They were far more valuable than you were, and Humanity couldn’t lose them. You would rather have them and your parents alive but sad, than everybody dead because you didn’t have the courage to do what needed to be done.

“Just know that, I love you guys, and I’ll always carry you in my heart, no matter what you’ve done or said. Oh, and tell my parents I love them too, alright?” You continued your last speech, realization dawning over your friends as they looked back at you in horror.

Too late did they start yelling your name, for you’d already slowed down your horse to a walk, turning to face the group of beasts.

“Keep riding! She’s saving us! Don’t let her sacrifice be in vain.” Levi yelled, urging his horse and companions forward, closer to the walls and further from their friend.

You watched as they disappeared from your view, nothing but little black dots in a sea of green, a few tears trailing down your chin.

This was it, the end. If you’d known you would’ve died so soon, you probably would’ve hugged your parents tighter that day, but it was too late to regret your choices now. Your time had arrived, you may be forgotten, but you would have done your job to keep humanity safe for a bit longer. A determined look fell on your face, as you turned around to face the Titans. You were going to die, you were sure of it, but you sure as heck weren’t going down without a fight!

Hiii! Thank you so much for reading! I hope you've appreciated this post. I'll start working on Part 2 as soon as possible but do tell if you have any specific requests! You're more than welcome to come check out my account with my other posts and/or make requests(MASTERLIST). Do NOT plagiarize this or any of my content.

Love you guys! See you soon!😘

Written by crazycat010 © 2025 crazycat010

[dogboyautism]

I used to work there and I hated this fucking shit. The name was usually the store manager no matter whoever was at the station, it (at least for my store) says your food is in the "prep" stage as soon as it's received which leads to people calling and saying "I see on the website that it's been prepping for 30mins why is that-" when it's usually bc they ordered a pizza during the FRIDAY NIGHT RUSH, and after that we'd usually switch gears into making their shit first bc we'd know they were hawking it. This creates a domino (HAHA) effect where both people learn that "oh if I call they'll do it faster" and the queue of orders gets disrupted, which leads to mistakes and MORE PEOPLE CALLING THE STORE saying shit like "it says here that [name] has been preparing my order for [long pause] 45 mins now. Did they forget about it or what?" Which is so fucking frustrating to deal with on top of everything else; I was hired to just answer the phone btw, I ended up doing opening, closing, food prep, "oh you're getting a license? That's so cool Jacob, and you're already 18 so you could pick up deliveries when we're busy! No pressure ofc kiddo, we know you're only just learning to drive."

Anyway, this system is based on one I've worked with anytime I've worked with food. At a McDonald's I worked at 3 years prior they used it pretty much verbatim, and that was well before you could order from there. They used it in the drive thru and we were all told that our "times" were "closely monitored," the "best in the state," but still always "closely monitored." But the system: just a couple of buttons you press to move shit along in the digital ticket window. At McDonald's we did had a screen with orders just to the side of the drive thru window that we were told to use for repeating people's orders and to clear them off once they left. At Domino's it was that (they had a drive thru there too) and to keep moving through those tickets. And like no duh, if you've ever worked fast food I'm sure you've seen the exact same thing, I'm only bringing it up because of how soul crushing it all is.

You're told the times get watched and it's constantly on your mind if you give a shit about your job. You shouldn't, but I was 14-18 when I worked those places I gave waaaaay too much of a shit. At Domino's I'd never known the times got shared with customers until I ordered lunch once and decided to watch it on my phone while I was in the store for fun, which it wasn't. It gave my a sense of dread anytime I got near that shit after, especially when I did answer the phones and I starred at the timer for how long I was taking an order. Euhg. Thinking about it still makes me anxious.

can I pay extra to not have a pizza commissar breathing down Sara's neck

[xiepheer]

You know i really wanted to know how or why did the Beast's adopted little Y/N for like did they wanted to have a child of their own or something but now that i think about It what type of cookie Y/N would be as well as their power would be like If they were in crk and what do you think their voice would sound like?

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Hello everyone! Just to say that like always, I've been busy! So much homeworkkkk!

Also btwww I'm sorry that I haven't updated in so long!

I don't usually have the motivation to write!

I also have a tiktok acc where I feel more motivated in making videos instead of writing! 😭

Anyways here's my tiktok: HelixiaLoves

I make crk content!

I hope u understand that I feel more motivated in making videos rather than writing 😭🙏

Anyways ENJOY!

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Mystic Flour cookie

When she first found you, you were a small filly at the side of the road.

She thought to herself:

"Who would've abandoned their own responsibility?"

So she took you in.

She didn't want another young cookie to end up like her.

Abandoned by their own creators.

So she decided to take you in and call herself your mother.

She took care of you.

Raised you.

When she was sealed, she just knew she could count on Cloud Haetae for taking care of you.

You were 6 when you watched your beloved mother get sealed but you didn't know why.

Why did they see your own beloved mother a threat?

Sure she has the ability to turn cookies into flour but wasn't she supposed to fufil cookie's wishes?

To be worshipped because they get their wishes fulfilled?

That was what you were questioning until you grew up to find out what destruction she has caused in the Earthbread.

When you find out, you couldn't help but think about why she did that to your called home, Earthbread.

To cause destruction in the very land you and her was raised in.

When she was released, she doesn't understand why you were distancing from you.

Until she finds out why.

You, were scared she'll turn you into flour.

"Oh dear child? Why must you fear the very cookie that had raised you and given you all your needs?"

She asked.

She hadn't smiled in so long and she thought she would've when she could finally see the sprout she helped to grow.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what child?"

"That your deepest desires is to turn this world into nothing but Flour?"

"It is not my desire. It is not what I thought before."

"What do you mean..."

"Cookies have become too greedy. There must be one cookie to put them back in place. And that is my one and only mission to do."

"That's not what you said before."

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Burning Spice cookie

Burning Spice cookie never actually wanted a child.

He only did so to prove the other beasts that he can train any cookies to destroy.

Well he didn't fail and failed at the same time.

Burning Spice cookie doesn't even know how to take care of a kid so he left you to his generals.

You grew up to learn how to fight and be strong but you didn't know that you and him aren't actually biological father and daughter/son.

It's quite obvious how he's willing to destroy everything, no matter how small or big, he'd destroy.

But you, you'd fight and destroy if you were willing to.

But you couldn't stand the chance to fight a weak cookie.

It was like the state you were found in back then.

Weak and small.

And now, you are strong and powerful.

Powerful like your 'Father'.

When he got sealed, the generals has to depend on you for the kingdom.

So you took over.

The generals didn't understand why you stop destroying and was not like your 'Father'. (Plot twist, they didn't know you're not his actual father as well)

And you told them,

"Not Always we have to destroy. We could put these weaklings into great use in the kingdom."

You spoke.

The generals wasn't used to training a lot of weak ones.

Typically, they're used to training upper ranks rather than weak untrained ones.

When your father returned, he didn't expect the kingdom to be like this.

The once most feared kingdom now being crowded with weak cookies he has never seen before.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!"

That scared everyone.

Everyone including you.

"Father, I thought that I could recruit more cookies for the Kingdom's reputation!"

"REPUTATION?! ALL I EVER ASLED YOU IS TO WATCH OVER!"

"Yes indeed but wouldn't it be great for more cookies to fight for you?"

"Fight me? AHAHAH yes I would love that."

"What no..."

"What a great choice you chose! Now show me! "

"What has destruction bring you..."

You are quite tired of your father's destruction sometimes.

But you didn't understood why he would love to destroy everything.

And that is when and elder told you the truth.

The Herald of Change, once a great and powerful hero and ruler, now corrupted for seeing the same cycle over and over again that he has to break the cycle to make a new one.

You felt sad at his origin. Seeing everything be born and wither away again and again surely would drive you crazy like him.

But you still think that destruction would not be the answer.

So when you told him that confidently, he scoffed.

"And what do you know little one? Surely there'll be a day that you too will wither away like the others."

"Destruction isn't always the answer to everything. It's the natural apart of life."

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Shadow Milk cookie

When he first found you, no.

He created you.

Created you supposedly for shits and giggles and because he doesn't know what to do that day.

But ever since you were created, you were supposed to be another mindless puppet until you started acting like your own.

A puppet that has its own mind like a regular cookie was something he would never throw away like the others.

And though he still thought about you throwing away when you get useless, something inside him amde him not to.

It made him feel the need to protect something fragile like he used to.

Back he was sage, he never actually experienced a childhood.

He was baked into the world knowing everything.

When you grew up, you had his personality.

Probably because you were made by his own hands.

You and his minions got along well.

Most of the time.

Candy Apple cookie wasn't at first.

But she grew fond with you and started acting like you're her little sister.

Black Sapphire Cookie is the older brother that would always try to help you and ditch you at the same time.

There was a time where he ditched you in the middle of the woods but still went and brought you back.

Shadow Milk cookie made you watch his shows and make you rate them.

He would also teach you and make you watch as he destroys parts of Earthbread.

He had a slight hope that you would have his powers so he could as well teach you how to be just like him.

When he got sealed, he just knew he has to depend on his minions.

You and his minions went through disguises.

In different kingdoms but in disguises. You hav decided to keep your identity a secret for now.

When he got released, he was pleased to see that you've grown up to be almost like him.

Almost.

You like jokes like him, always taking thigns not seriously until you decide to.

But there's one thing that's not in common.

He likes destruction but you don't.

Why?

Because you saw how Earthbread was.

A peaceful world if you do not disturb the peace.

But yet, a question lingers in your head.

"Why do you want to destroy Earthbread? Aren't you supposed to protect it?"

You asked him.

He looked at you, quite surprised that you even thought of the question but soon it turned into a grin.

"Well you see tiny sprout of mine, we all need drama in our lives!"

"That doesn't explain why you still have to destroy."

"My point is that life is boring without a little drama in it!"

"Destroying and controlling isn't drama"

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FINISHED GUYS! HOPEFULLY YOU LIKE THIS ONE!

i was just scrolling through my requests and I found this one intriguing!

Anyways this took me an hour and a half I hope u like this!

Also the type of cookie and the power the reader (you) has here is depending on you!

USE YOUR IMAGINATIONNNN!

[bladekindeyewear]

Why are all of John's friends trying to gaslight him constantly? He was proven right about Candy and yet they all still treat him like he's nuts. Especially Jade.

But John ISN'T right. The Candy timeline being a "funhouse reflection" doesn't justify his proposed assertions and actions. I went into deep detail about that in my liveblog post, person by person. Just about all of the adults are wrong in important ways (besides Karkat), and are proving themselves wrong in that very conversation-- but John is the MOST wrong, the furthest from the point of this story, the most obviously suffering from his shortcomings as a person.

You get the sense you may have missed something.

This line, as everyone is standing over him, isn't just a joke about what's going on behind them all... as I covered in my liveblog post, it's a key statement about the core mistake John is making. About how ever since he arrived on Earth C, he's been looking for "true meaning" everywhere outside himself when it has to come from within.

ROXY: john did you listen to a single fucking thing i said to you JOHN: yes! JOHN: like, okay, you were right. JOHN: this place IS real.

In their argument in this update, Roxy and John alluded to their home conversation toward the end of the Candy Epilogues, when John was trying to insist that everyone's actions made no sense and that this timeline didn't mean anything... and Roxy dismantled his assertions. That just because the Candy Timeline was so strange and intentionally read at first like poor fanfiction -- likely because it was born from CALLIOPE'S fanfiction, the Meat version of Callie wearing the Ring of Life who is constantly said both in the Epilogues and Homestuck^2 to have been drawing events on her walls that sound suspiciously like the events of Candy -- that doesn't mean the Candy story, that a noncanon fanfic, isn't real or doesn't matter. Just because some of the events seemed absurd from John's point of view, OUR point of view, didn't mean they didn't have underlying reasons... right down to Yiffy's name as we discovered in this update from Karkat's insight that Jade was naming and treating Yiffany like the child she imagined she'd have had with Dave without his involvement. Just because it's not the "original author's" method of characterization doesn't mean that fan characterizations hold no worth, that fan stories hold no value.

John is right that all the former heroes in the Candy Timeline (besides maybe Karkat) have made a great many HORRIBLE decisions, giving in to their insecurities and neuroses and past trauma. But his solution is to ditch all the consequences of their "fanfic" story, consign it to the trash bin, and instead pursue "relevance" as if a new adventure, as if something more "Canon", would would be best for everyone... mainly himself. That allowing fanfics to be real, or making a difference in their own world despite their flaws, is "too much freedom".

JADE: john... this is what i mean. JADE: you have no idea what it is you actually want, do you? JADE: being happy to you is just chasing after whatever it is you dont already have. JADE: and we know how that always turns out. JOHN: what does THAT mean? JADE: it means, john, that you're going to drag harry along on this big awful adventure and then, itll end! JADE: and even assuming it ends well, he might get what, one good year with you? JADE: maybe two? JADE: until you get bored and angry and avoidant all over

JADE: john... JADE: you cant actually believe everything will be fine if we just leave, right? JADE: no matter where you go, john, youre still going to be... this. JADE: i wish saving you WAS as easy as snapping our fingers and going off on some other adventure, JADE: but well never be 13 again. JADE: and... looking at you in that old outfit makes me nauseous. JADE: you were right, a lot of the time i dont like it here, and i DEFINITELY dont like whats happened to us. JADE: but its our own fault, and now its all we have left to work with.

Jade proved herself one of the "craziest" ones here in this update, with us seeing the real reason she chose a name as absurd and offhand-Dave-Strider-joke-like as Yiffany Longstocking, and in particular with the way she wants to CONTROL her child to live the life she THINKS is best for her from Jade's own experience, living a "normal" life vicariously through her, rather than letting Yiffy live the life she actually WANTS to live. She deserved Yiffy's final, parting "FUCK YOU!".

But the point she's making about John here is TRUE, and is even more important.

John has been constantly defining his self-worth by adventures outside himself, listless and depressed and UNCOMFORTABLE in his own being, thinking that happiness and fulfillment and satisfaction is something he has to go out and find on some sort of story quest. His time in Sburb was the only time the world around him was doing the heavy lifting of convincing him that he had meaning. But he was never comfortable JUST BEING HIMSELF. Never confident in BELIEVING in himself, by himself. Quests and chasing goals given to him were only ever temporary patches over his own insecurity, his feelings of wrongness in the very act of existing as the person he is.

"no matter where you go, john, youre still going to be... this."

"You get the sense you may have missed something."

John is so wrong, so horribly inconsiderate to everyone in this update, so insistent on the next dose of adventure even if it means consigning the entire timeline to the trash bin, because he is MISSING the key thing that would actually make him really, truly happy. Confident, fulfilled. Satisfied enough to live for OTHERS, like his child, more than just for himself.

Which is why the update ALSO gave him a GLIMPSE of what he was missing, what he needs to find INSIDE himself -- not outside -- in order to love himself.

And what he needs to find inside himself... is HER.

June Egbert would love herself enough to start truly living for herself and others. To believe in herself enough to show herself off so confidently in the stage's spotlight, to know she's a Hero beyond her prior inner doubts. The dead version of John in the Meat timeline seems likely to become her first, but the lesson is the same. John keeps trying to look for a way to "escape" his problems, causing all sorts of issues and insensitivity because he can't escape himself, and this is the true key to the self-acceptance he's been avoiding.

That's been the slow, steady, Andrew-blessed drumbeat that's been building in the background ever since the beginning of the Epilogues. It wasn't just a Toblerone wish, that was only the final excuse. Andrew had been talking obsessively with others about this repressed-transfem interpretation of John throughout Homestuck ever since fans brought up the idea before the Epilogues, before the Toblerone, and HS^2 and Beyond Canon's writers (and the Epilogue's cowriters) have all been standing with Andrew on this idea. The fact that Candy was so "weird" and non-canon was never what was actually making John "miserable" for so long. He's still projecting blame for his unhappiness onto that idea instead of seeing the truer way to be herself. It's been hinted at and reiterated throughout the new stories, and confirmed by its authors:

That's just the biggest key to JUNE'S issues, though, not everyone else's. From now on, all the heroes who were left behind in Candy -- possibly with help from those in the Meat Timeline who believe in them -- WILL SAVE the Candy Timeline from dissolving into the ether.

ROXY: john... i know things didnt work out the way you thought they would but we cant just up and fuck off???? ROXY: i feel it in my gut, we can save this place, we have to!

Together, they WILL prove the overarching theme that our drive to create fanon and fanfics and fan characters, that the wild and disagreeing interpretations on what could happen next (or what could have happened) that live on after the story in the reader's hearts, that the versions of these CHARACTERS that live on in our hearts, matter just as much or more as the grip of plot relevance and "canon" by a tyrannical author. That being trapped in a "story" necessarily tortures them for the sake of dramatic impact and that the characters deserve to be freed from its clutches. The overall message of the original "Homestuck" -- it's in the very NAME -- was that the heroes had to ESCAPE THE STORY to find true happiness instead of simply winning by its rules, by a tyrannical storycrafter like Lord English's rules. Homestuck's original ending was too strangely executed to spell out that lesson for most people. Homestuck's sequel is making that message EXPLICIT so none of us who stick around will miss it.

And Beyond Canon has been REALLY good at convincing me that they're going to pull that lesson off RIGHT. :D

[ohcoffeedragon]

The cultural impact of KAJ on Swedish-Finnish relations

I wanted to highlight some positive things that I've observed around the KAJ-phenomenon (Swedish Eurovision entry 2025), while also clarifying a few things about the cultural context to those who aren't from the region - but my small overview got out of hand, so here is an essay-length cultural analysis (sorry about that and hats off to anyone who reads to the end!)

You can read the rest under the cut or on Reddit where there is also lots of interesting stuff in the comment section.

I'm interested in this topic because I'm part of the Swedish speaking minority in Finland, but also because I've lived in the Finnish speaking parts of Finland (Jyväskylä) and in Sweden (Malmö), so I've had a front-line seat to people from all of these communities making assumptions about each other and misunderstanding each other. 

Here are the three geopolitical aspects of the KAJ-phenomenon that I find particularly noteworthy and heartwarming:

1) Sweden is celebrating Finnish culture and it's changing the narrative in both countries 

The fact that a Finnish band is topping charts in Sweden with a song about an aspect of Finnish culture is a bigger deal than you might think, because Finnish culture has not traditionally been held in high esteem in Sweden.

There are some ancient reasons for this, related to the fact that Finland was under Swedish rule from the 13th century all the way up to 1809 with the power dynamics that this implies, but I think the most important reason is probably the wealth gap during much of the 20th century.

In the 1950-70s many Finns emigrated to Sweden for work. They were mostly known to be reliable hard workers, but new immigrants are never highly regarded and on top of that this was the same generation that was on the front lines during the war, with lots of trauma that nobody knew how to treat or diagnose at the time, leading to self-medication with alcohol, emotional detachment, violence and social problems. Being Finnish became associated with a number of negative stereotypes in Sweden (alcoholism, violence, social exclusion, poverty), to the point where children in many Sweden-Finnish families were bullied for being Finnish and people were encouraged to distance themselves from their Finnish heritage.

This is why the hype in Sweden around Bara Bada Bastu - a silly feelgood song about unconditionally loving a part of Finnish culture - is getting so much attention in Finland. Finnish people aren't used to Sweden being this enthusiastic about anything related to their country. Some people in Finland still expect Swedes to look down on them for being Finnish. "The happiest country in the world" should of course have sorted out their self-esteem issues by now (most people have), but sometimes these things can be slow to evolve. 

Finnish culture has actually been getting a lot of positive attention in Sweden for some time now. The love for KAJ is part of a cultural shift that has been going on for years. Some notable music examples are Käärijä doing well on Swedish charts, Swedish artist Markus Krunegård releasing an album in Finnish in 2023 (Nokia & Ericsson) and Swedish artist Miriam Bryant releasing several singles in Finnish in 2024 (Mustelmilla, Otan kii), as well as wildly popular Hooja throwing in some Finnish words in their Swedish lyrics. 

The fact that Melodifestivalen producer Karin Gunnarsson invited KAJ to the competition in the first place probably wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for this phenomenon already being a thing.

2) Finland is showing Sweden some love in return

There is a saying in Finland that goes "it doesn't matter who wins as long as Sweden loses" and yet here we are: Finnish people are singing along to a song in Swedish and many are actively rooting for Sweden to win Eurovision.

The fact that a song in Swedish is topping charts in Finland is very unusual. 

Finland is a bilingual country, with Finnish and Swedish both being official languages, so you might expect the music scene and the general population to be bilingual as well, but they are not. The percentages are 95% Finnish speakers and 5% Swedish speakers, meaning public life is basically 100% Finnish speaking. Swedish speakers have their own schools and radio channels and so on, but if they want to talk with the rest of the country they need to do so in Finnish.  

The same thing is true for the music scene. If you choose to sing in Swedish you have a potential audience of less than 300 000, if you switch to Finnish you have a potential audience of 5,5 million. There are several Fennoswedish artists who are very successful in Finland at the moment, the big names being Mirella and Averagekidluke, but they all sing in Finnish. You would have to be a specific kind of lovable goofball to choose your local Swedish dialect instead.

The Swedish language is also viewed negatively by many in Finland. This is an unfortunate consequence of mandatory Swedish lessons in schools, often nicknamed "pakkoruotsi" ("involuntary Swedish" or "forced Swedish"). The idea to teach everyone the basics of both national languages doesn't sound particularly far-fetched, but many people, especially in the East and North where there are no native Swedish speakers, dislike this requirement to the point where it might do more harm than good.

As for Sweden, the country is seen as a close and reliable friend, but the friendship is somewhat more complicated than it might seem on the surface. The Finnish banter with Sweden is friendly 99,9% of the time but the remaining 0,1% can be surprisingly dark, because it's rooted in feelings of humiliation and injustice that go quite deep.

This is why it made sense for KAJ to do Melfest instead of UMK, beyond the fact that Melfest reached out to them. Gaining a Swedish audience when singing in Swedish is a realistic goal. Gaining a Finnish-speaking audience when singing in Swedish is... not realistic - or so everyone assumed.

In other words: seeing Swedish people sing "yksi, kaksi, kolme, sauna!" in Finnish is surprising, but seeing Finnish-speakers go "bara bada bastu, bastu!" in Swedish is just as unexpected and somehow even more heartwarming, for me as a Fennoswede at least.

As far as I know it's the first time in history a Fennoswedish artist gets nationwide recognition with a song in Swedish. There is more warmth towards Sweden in Finland right now and more curiosity about the Swedish speaking minority than I think I've ever seen.

3) People are suddenly learning about the Swedish speaking minority in Finland 

KAJ getting all this attention is making a real difference in fighting ignorance (mostly in Sweden) and prejudice (mostly in Finland) about the Swedish speaking minority.

Some Swedish people still don't know we exist, which can be a little disheartening to Swedish speaking Finns who follow media in both countries and know everything about Sweden. Fennoswedes trade anecdotes about how Swedish people compliment them on their "really good Swedish" when they speak their native language or how well-meaning Swedes switch to English because they can't tell the difference between a dialect and a foreign accent. The most extreme anecdotes are about Swedish people saying "I had no idea Finnish was so easy to understand" when you talk to them in Swedish.  

In Finland people know we exist, but sometimes mistake us for a small and homogenous group of upper-class snobs - which is fine really, compared to what almost any other minority anywhere has to put up with, but it's also quite far from the truth, so getting some nuance added to the mix wouldn't hurt. Most Fennoswedes are just ordinary people and do not have mansions and old money (unfortunately for us!). Those old money families do exist, but they are not that many. 

The Fennoswedes you see in Finnish media tend to live in the Helsinki area and be perfectly bilingual, which isn't the case for all of us. KAJ is such a refreshing addition to the media landscape because they aren't part of this group: they are from the countryside, their Finnish is a little wonky, and you couldn't possibly accuse them of being upper class snobs.  

And finally, if you read this to the end: Thank you, I spent way too much time on this, so I really appreciate it! Here is your well-earned diploma on Finnish-Swedish relations: 📜👩🏼‍🎓

[book-lore]

Hello again friends. Library goblin here to ruin something else for you! It's apparently what I do but this one might be worth your time.

I've said it before and I continue to rail against AI because it is a blight. It's theft of other people's work. It's ruining the environment to run it. It's filling the internet with questionable and outright incorrect information based on its hallucinations. All of these things you've heard before likely and while I would argue that all these things are important, let me help you hit it home.

For one, you'll note this poor gent has made a point to include that he's still failing. There's a reason for that. ChatGPT doesn't form opinions. It has no concern for what it's doing and you'll note that a lot of what it produces isn't particularly engaging, even though it can technically create (steal) things. It's at its most interesting when it's failing to produce something. But that's also because those things are usually incoherent horse shit. It's amusing (if we ignore the amount of water waste that goes into creating it), but if you were hoping for a better grade with it, or even the ability to graduate, you're likely to be sorely disappointed. Writing is a skill and when someone works at it and gets better at it, they can produce things that make the reader more excited than just a bunch of technical sentences strung together can.

But maybe you don't care about any of that. Maybe you just want to get out of the class with something resembling a decent mark. The thing is, that class was likely once designed with the idea that it was going to give you the skill to write something later if you need to. And trust me, whether you think you will or not, you may need to. Communicating well is something people take for granted because those who do it regularly making it seem like it's easy. I've literally seen CEOs fuck this up because they didn't regard this as anything worth their time and stunningly, they ended up getting in trouble for it. Maybe you don't care about it now, but what about when you need to write a cover letter that doesn't suck? Your ability there is going to be the difference between you getting a job or not. Or maybe you want to get a little more personal.

Right now, you probably aren't thinking about something that hasn't happened yet, but are you prepared to write your wedding vows? A eulogy? These are difficult things to do and very personal pieces that you will want to be able to express yourself with. How about writing a love letter? It might be old fashioned but if you wanted to, shouldn't that be something you can do? Isn't having that skill worth trying a little bit to impress someone you like?

The point of this is that there is a lot to the world of expression that you miss out on by pretending the computer can just do it for you. It can be fun. It can be rewarding. It can be the difference between you getting a chance to interview for a job or not. And for the record, a lot of teachers can tell that the bullshit paper you turned in from ChatGPT was written by AI. If you're going to turn in something poorly written in the first place, at least if you wrote it, you can probably make something better that will garner you a better mark. Contrary to what you might think, your teachers have a sense of humour. ChatGPT does not.

Be creative. Be expressive. Be able to write your own life down. No matter how much you don't think you'll need it, it's better to be more skilled in this world than it is to be unprepared.

[deltoradecay]

The Problems With Decay.

Sometimes, shit from fictionbased identities (or other alterhuman identities involving memories/noemata!) sticks. Memories, noemata, trauma responses, other things ingrained into your being--it's hard to break old habits. Especially if they're rooted in avoiding disastrous outcomes. It might be easier for some to move on, harder for others. There's plenty of people who aren't affected much by things that happened in their memories--other times it really sticks hard, and finding ways to navigate those things can be tricky. Sometimes, because of that, in your current body/brain/life or whatever framework you use, you have to find ways to make accomodations for yourself.

I'm a fableing (a sort of grey-area between fictive and fictionkin in a median system) of Tomura Shigaraki, from My Hero Academia. For people who don't know, in source, Shigaraki has a power that enables him to basically turn anything he touches with all 5 fingers of his hands to dust. Which, yeah, great for getting rid of problems (and people)! Not too great when it's not a thing you can simply turn off. Any thing I would touch, at all, would dissolve out of my control. If I touched it--even accidentally--with all 5 fingers of one hand? Gone. Can't do shit about that once it happens, there's no way to stop it. Many an accident happened.

Ignoring any specific events that happened in source canon... Even back then, there were absolutely things I didn't want to destroy. I had to be careful how I held things, careful how I interacted with people (if I didn't intend to kill them), careful of every movement I made. Hold a burger wrong? Well, lunch is gone now. Accidentally stumble a little and my hand reflexively touches someone to steady myself? They're gone too.

Now that I'm here in this body, I obviously don't need to worry about destroying things accidentally. I don't have my power in the front, my hands are completely safe to touch no matter how you do it. I can't decay things anymore. But that hasn't stopped me from acting like I still have it, and behaving accordingly regardless of that my hands can actually do now.

I'll hold my phone with a finger carefully lifted off the back of it. I'll pet our cat usually with only two or so fingers to be safe. I get worried about letting our birds onto my hands--what if they're perched just right that their feathers touch my other fingers? I'll hold food and drinks with a finger lifted off of them (which kind of looks ridiculous with holding cups because it's so obvious to other people). I'm still so meticulously careful about how I touch things, and yeah, I get really fucking anxious about it when I'm handling things I care a lot for. I know I can grab a glass without it fading away, I know I can pick up our cat without worrying that I'll end him, I know I can hold our birds, I know I can hold someone elses hand. It's something I logically know isn't an issue, it's not how it was in my memories, but living that life left a mark on my brain and it's hard to shake.

But, kind of recently, I learned something. Digital artist gloves. We've wanted some for a while, to make it easier to draw. We'd originally planned to wear them pretty often if we did get them, because we need to wear gloves a lot of the time anyway due to having circulation issues that lend our hands to getting real cold real easy. We normally wear fingerless gloves, as we need our fingertips to use our phone and type. But we thought more on it, and were thinking about how maybe artist gloves wouldn't be enough to keep our hands warm--typically they only cover two fingers, and are joined by a thin strap, overall covering less skin than regular fingerless gloves. But from that line of thinking I realised, they completely cover two fingers, and don't really touch any of the others.

Operating off of the logic my decay used, the gloves wouldn't be turned to dust because they don't cover my whole hand, and neither would anything I touch, because two fingers have a barrier over them, effectively disabling my quirk for as long as I wear them. It was the sort of middleground compromise I needed, between ignoring my anxiety and playing too hard into it by being terrified to touch things. Even if theoretically I could accidentally touch the glove with my whole hand and make it go away, in this body I can't do that, and unless I remove it, I will just keep being able to feel the glove on my hand as reassurance. A safeguard--not from anything literal anymore, but something to give me peace of mind.

I wear them all the time now, both in-system and in the front. They're just a permanent part of my outfit at this point (as you can see below in the art we made of myself), and they've helped me stop thinking about it so constantly. I don't need to worry about decaying things around me because I have protection measures against that.

While me wearing them was spawned out of exotrauma-induced anxiety, they're also really identity affirming the more I think about it. Yes, I'd like to not have to worry about decaying everything I touch--but that's just a trait of me. That's as much of a part of me as my other memories or my other experiences. They make me feel more like source-me, because I know if I thought about this solution before as an easier way to eat, drink and sleep? I absolutely would've done it. I don't see it just as wearing the gloves because I'm anxious or traumatised. I'm taking a positive out of it--I'm wearing them because I'm Tomura Shigaraki. Of course I'd need to have something like that.

So, I guess, the point--aside from me simply just sharing this--is that sometimes, you need to figure out some sort of compromise for yourself. Some way to navigate your own noemata, exomemories or exotrauma that you might have to get a little bit creative for. Is it always going to be foolproof? No. It is maybe a bit silly sometimes? Possibly! But this is something that both saves a lot of anxiety for me, and is in a roundabout sort of way, identity affirming at the same time. You can find positives in the weirdest things.

[minxipinxi]

If Anyone Is to Blame… It’s Infold

I just want to have an honest conversation with you all about the recent controversy surrounding Caleb’s myth in Love and Deepspace.

I know emotions are running high right now, and I completely understand why. I will talk about the situation and why I think this drama isn’t something that should divide us as a community.

Before I start, I want to make one thing clear: if anyone is to blame for this situation, it’s Infold, not the players.

The Issue: Why Are Fans Arguing?

So, for those of you who haven’t seen the leaks or don’t understand what’s going on, here’s the short version: Caleb’s myth storyline was leaked.

Because of this, the fandom has split into two sides:

🔹 Side A: Some Caleb fans feel like he’s being unfairly attacked and insist that since his character was in the game from the beginning.

🔹 Side B: Some Sylus fans feel like their love interest’s story is losing its uniqueness.

What’s been happening is that both sides are fighting each other, making accusations like:

👉 "You’re trying to take this away from my love interest!"

👉 "Stop being dramatic—Caleb’s myth was planned long before Sylus’s was released!"

And honestly? Neither of these arguments are entirely wrong. But neither of them actually solve the real issue either.

The Truth: This Was Infold’s Decision, Not Ours

Let’s take a step back and be realistic here. This is a game. It’s a story-driven game with deeply crafted characters, and the developers plan everything out far in advance.

That means:

✅ Caleb’s myth wasn’t just randomly thrown together at the last minute.

✅ Sylus’s myth wasn’t randomly thrown together either.

✅ These character arcs were conceptualized before the game launched on 18 January 2024.

So, the argument that “Caleb came first, so nothing was copied” isn’t valid—because both myths were planned before either one was ever fully released. If they are too similar, that’s not on the players. That’s on Infold’s storytelling decisions.

The Bigger Picture: Let’s Focus on the Real Issues

Instead of fighting amongst ourselves over which love interest "deserves" their myth more, why aren’t we focusing on the actual problems with Love and Deepspace?

🔥 The game still lacks grinding options for F2P players.

🔥 There’s a severe lack of accessories and customization options.

🔥 We still don’t have enough new story content for all love interests.

🔥 Infold has a pattern of ignoring community concerns.

At the end of the day, arguing over which character is getting "better" content is exactly what Infold wants us to do. It keeps us distracted from holding them accountable for things that matter.

We should be standing together as a community and demanding better for all our love interests—Caleb, Sylus, Xavier, Rafayel, Zayne, and the soon-to-be-revealed 6th love interest.

Final Thoughts

I get it. This is frustrating. I love all of them, and I understand why fans are upset. But the last thing we need is to turn on each other. Instead, let’s keep the energy directed where it belongs: at Infold.

[paxaz535]

UNBELIEVABLE (2)

pazzixtransfer!teammate

(reader goes by pumpkin)

(angst, sad ending, cursing)

————-

“Okay. Be at the restaurant by 7:30.” Aubrey told everyone. They all went their separate ways. You were on your way to your car when you heard your name being called. You turned around to see the two people you were apart from all day. you sighed and looked at them. “Can you talk to us?” The blonde asked. You just looked at them. Three of you stood by your car, “I tried to all day but yall were too busy with Charlotte.” You told them.

“Okay, well we’re not anymore. What’s wrong, baby?” Azzi asked. You looked down, “I already told yall. Today felt like shit and I couldn’t even kiss you. Have you noticed that?” The seniors looked at each other before back to you. “It just seems like Charlotte had your attention all day.”

“Do you not feel comfortable with her?” You looked over at nothing before meeting their eyes. “Not really.. She’s just-“ You cut yourself off. “Keep talking.” Paige spoke gently. “I just feel like she’s t-“

“Oh there you are! I thought you guys left.” Charlotte came with a deep breath. You tried to not groan out loud. The seniors looked at the girl. Charlotte noticed how your mood changed, she was getting under your skin and it was working. “Nope, still here.” Azzi spoke.

Charlotte just smiled, “Well, I’m ready. Also, could I get a moment with pumpkin?” The seniors looked at you, you just nodded. “We’ll be in the car.” Paige announced and walked away with Azzi. Charlotte watched until they got into the car before facing you. “What the fuck do you want?”

Charlotte eyes widen, her hand going to her heart. “Now, pumpkin. Was that very nice?” She sarcastically asked. You rolled your eyes before crossing your arms. “I just wanted to see how you’re feeling? you know, with me hanging around your girls all day.” The red head smirked at you, her eyes narrowing.

you smacked your lips, “Fuck you. You’re a weirdo.” Charlotte laughed as she shook her head. “Don’t blame me, honey. Seems to me they’re very interested in this.” You glared at the girl. “And I’m about to ride in the car with them? I know your feelings are hurt bad.” Charlotte continued, making you ball your fist up. She looked down and smirked, “What? you gonna hit me? Like that’s gonna make you look any better. All I have to do is get the rest of your team on my side and you’ll be done for.”

You un-balled your fist. She was right, it would make you look bad if you put your hands on the girl. “Why are you doing this? I did nothing to you.” You simply asked. She got serious, “Because why not? You don’t deserve both of them, as a matter of fact, you don’t deserve any of them. You should’ve stayed where you came from. You ruined everything for me.” You looked at the girl, hurt on your face. You tried not to show it but hearing those words did something to you.

“You’re nothing but a wanna be who has nothing good for herself and just wants the attention. I’m pretty sure they’re with you because of pity. It’s sad how desperate you look.” You could feel your eyes burning, you just blinked before anything could fall. “Let’s face it, pumpkin. you should just give up and go back to Iowa. I’m pretty sure they need you more than we do.” You flinched at the mention of the school. you left for a good reason and for her to bring the school up irked you.

Before you could say something, she turned around. “Don’t try anything or it’ll be real bad for you.” She then walked off, heading straight to Paige’s car. You watched until you heard a door close and the car pull off before breaking down. You got into your car before anyone could see you. Tears started pouring down, your sobs getting louder. You didn’t know why you let this nobody get to you but you did and it hurts.

you remembered the dinner, making you wipe your tears and start your car. You really didn’t want to go, but you had to.

-

When you arrived to the dinner, you could already tell you were the last one to show up. It wasn’t your fault, the whole interaction with Charlotte fucked you up and you kept procrastinating. You didn’t really do a heavy makeup look, just lashes, a bit of concealer and your go to lip combo.

You were only 5 minutes behind so you doubt you missed anything major. Your eyes were a bit red from the crying you did but you put in some eyedrops so it’ll take any at least some of the redness. As you walked in, you immediately spotted the table.

it was in the far back and since it was so many of them, they weren’t too hard to miss. You just took a big sigh, mentally preparing yourself for whatever is about to happen. As you got closer, Allie was first to notice you. It was a seat beside her and she patted it with a huge smile on her face.

you smiled back at the girl, but it didn’t reach your eyes. Everyone caught on that you were here and smiled, greeting you. “Seriously, why are you always late?” Kk asked as she watched you sit next to Allie. She then looked at Paige and Azzi, seeing the red head sit between them. She peeped that, although she didn’t comment on it.

“I’m only 5 minutes behind, I had things to do.” You simply answered. you winced at how rough your voice sounded, the whole table noticing it. “Woah.. you good, girl?” You just nodded, your eyes finding the three. They all looked at you, seeing Charlotte between them was a dreadful sight.

“Are you high, girl?” Jana asked. She was beside you, immediately noticing your eyes. You shook your head quickly. “Your eyes are red as hell.. have you been crying?” you were tired of all the questions.

you took a deep sigh, still feeling all eyes on you. “I’m fine. Can we just eat?” Jana put her hands up in surrender before looking at the menu. You took a glance around the table before picking your menu up, scanning to see what you wanted.

you spotted a good chicken fettuccine pasta and immediately wanted it. The waiter eventually came and everyone ordered, now just waiting on the food.

You could still feel eyes on you, quickly meeting a pair of green ones. She slightly smirked, happy she got your attention. She looked over at Azzi and leaned her head on her shoulder. Azzi quickly looked down at her, wondering why she did that.

“I’m sorry, Az. I just have a sudden headache.” Azzi grinned before patting her head, going back to talking to Caroline. Charlotte’s eyes met yours again, a grin showing. She winked at you before going on her phone.

“You’re gonna rip your dress, sweetheart.” Allie spoke. You looked down to see you gripping the end of it, you didn’t even realize you were doing it at first. You look over at the brunette, a small smile on your face. “Thanks.”

She continued to look at you. “What happened?” She leaned in. You looked over to see Paige and Azzi looking at Charlottes phone, the three laughing at something. “She’s a two faced bitch, that’s what happened.” You muttered to her. Allie’s eyes widen, wanting to know the backstory.

“Oh? Spill.” You quickly looked around before scooting closer to her. “I was this close to telling p and az about how I felt about today, and she just kept popping up. like earlier at the rink, and just right when we arrived back. She came out of nowhere saying she needed to talk to me and sent paige and azzi to the car.” Allie nodded.

“Then she continues onto say how I’m desperate and I don’t deserve to have az and paige to myself,” Allie’s mouth dropped, she couldn’t believe it what she was hearing. “She even had the audacity to say I should go back to Iowa.”

“What the fuck?” You nodded, “I guess she wants Paige and Azzi to herself but says I r-“ You were cut off. “What you guys over there whispering about?” Kaitlyn asked as she looked at you two. You chuckled, “You.” The graduate student gasped, rolling her eyes.

“I’m gonna go to the restroom. I’ll be back.” You told Allie as you stood up, pushing your chair in. You walked towards the bathroom, immediately stepping inside. You couldn’t believe the girls ain’t talk to you. It was starting to make you angry.

You took a deep breath, trying not to break down here at this restaurant. You were about to wet your face before you heard the door open. You rolled your eyes, you were getting quite sick of seeing this girl.

“Did I make you cry?” She asked as she leaned against the wall. You took this moment to analyze her dress, it was quite hideous to say the least. You looked at her through the mirror and chuckled, “I don’t have time for you, Charlotte. Leave me the hell alone.” You were about to leave out before she stopped you.

“Break up with them.” Your eyes widen, this girl had some nerve. “What? Fuck no. I’d be an idiot.” You told her with a confused look. She scoffed, “Why not? I mean you already look like you are.. people are starting to speculate.” She sang songed her last word, a small grin on her face.

you glared at the girl. “You’re a piece of shit. They wouldn’t go for you anyways.” You told her. Her grin faded, a smirk forming. She walked closer, her mouth by your ear. “That’s funny. Don’t forget I did ride here with them, so whatever happened in that car, I promise you don’t wanna know.”

your heart dropped. No. They didn’t. Right?

you know they wouldn’t, she’s just lying.

“Stop lying. We both know nothing happened in that car.” Her smirk deepened, “Really? This hickey says otherwise.” She backed up and moved her hair out the way, a mark was indeed there. You stopped breathing. You didn’t want to believe her but the evidence was right there.

“Cat got your tongue, huh? I told you, pumpkin.” Your eyes started to water again. She noticed and giggled, “Don’t cry, love. I already told you, you’re nothing.” Her face grew serious. You tried to talk but she bumped your shoulder and walked more into the restroom, going into a stall. You blinked, letting tears fall. You didn’t care, you couldn’t be here.

You quickly grabbed a 20 dollar bill out your wallet and walked towards the table. You were moving fast, you needed to leave. Allie was first, noticing your slightly wet eyes. “Pumpkin, you-“

You just shook your head, placing the money on the table and grabbing your purse. “Where are you going?” Allie asked.

“Where’s Charlotte?” Jana asked, you just looked at the girl. You couldn’t believe any of them, how could they not see? You scoffed and walked off, leaving the whole table but Allie confused. Allie was quick to say something. “What’s wrong with yall? How do yall not see that this girl is clearly hurting?”

Kk was first to speak. “She hasn’t said anything either, Allie. How are we supposed to know?” Allie scoffed, “It’s obvious, Kk! And it all has something to do with that Charlotte girl.” The red head walked up at the right time, hearing her name. “What about me?”

Allie just glared at her. “Oh. Where did pumpkin go?” She asked, innocently. Allie just shook her head, “You all are stupid.” She then pulled out 30 dollars and sat it on the table, chasing after you. “Allie!”

She ignored them, quickly walking out. Luckily you were still walking towards your car, so she had time to catch up. “Pumpkin, wait!” You heard footsteps chase after you, you didn’t slow down though. You couldn’t focus, your mind was still on the fact that Azzi and Paige possibly cheated on you.

“Pumpkin!” Allie finally caught up, the both of you stopping at your car. She let out a big breath, “Holy shit, you walk fast.” You unlocked your car, immediately hoping in. Allie was right behind you, getting into the passenger seat. “Pumpkin,” You look over at her, tears still falling.

“What did she say?” You continued to look at her, you tried to keep your sobs in but that didn’t last long. Allie’s sad eyes kept on you, pulling you in. You leaned into her shoulder, tears falling on her shoulder. “I- I’m-“ She shushed you, “Just cry right now.” You listened, crying even harder.

Allie couldn’t believe this. She would’ve never thought she’d see you like this, especially because of Azzi and Paige. She pulled you even closer, letting you cry. “You wanna go get ice cream?” Allie offered. You sniffled and nodded, immediately starting your car.

-

“She just told me how I ruined her chances with them and that I should break up with them.” Allie nodded. The two of you were currently in your dorm, knowing that the freshman shared a dorm with paige and jana, and you didn’t wanna see either of them. “But was that made you cry?” You were silent. No, it weren’t. You shook your head, “She told me that I didn’t wanna know what happened in the car between them.”

Allie was quiet, still looking at you. “Then, she showed me a hickey on her neck.” Allie eyes went wide and she looked ahead. “You sure it was a hickey? I mean, how could they even find time to do that?” You took a scoop of ice cream and stuffed it into your mouth. “What time did they arrive?” You asked. “Like 5 minutes after me.” Your lips went thin. “We have to do something, pump.” You shook your head, “There’s nothing to do. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but my own girlfriends wouldn’t even look my way at the dinner.”

Allie just sighed, it’d be charlotte’s word against hers and yours, and at this point, Charlotte has everyone wrapped around her little finger. You and Allie got a notification on your phone and checked.

Jana has added to their story !

it was a picture of them outside, they all had smiles on their faces. You analyzed the photo and as you guessed, Charlotte was all over Paige and Azzi. You just scoffed and turned your phone off, your attention going back to the tv. “It’s ridiculous how quick they took her side.” Allie commented.

You just raised your eyebrows and faked a smile. “It’s cute. They have a new friend.” The two of you made eye contact and laughed. It died down and you genuinely smiled at her. “Thank you for not falling for her trap, Allie.” She smiled back and nodded, “Of course. I was never really fond of her to begin with.” You smiled and hugged the freshman, before going back to the show that displayed on the screen.

You didn’t know how to go about everything. You didn’t even know if you, Paige and Azzi were still together. Charlotte had what was coming for her though.

-

azzi

get together at my dorm at 4:30

everyone be there

sarah

why exactly do we have to go?

azzi

because I said so, rah.

stop playing

sarah disliked this message

azzi

just be there

everyone liked this message

not everyone, you just read the messages. Should you show up?

allie

hey, pump

you gonna go?

pumpkin

should I?

allie

i’ll come get you if you want

pumpkin

please

allie liked this message

then it’s settled. it was around 2:40 so you still had time to mentally prepare yourself for this. You’ve had to mentally prepare yourself a lot lately and you didn’t blame anyone but that fuck ass charlotte.

you were still upset with paige and azzi, they haven’t texted or called you since last night. It made you realize, maybe the red head is right. What if they were only with you because of pity?

What if they actually liked her instead? and one question stayed on your mind all night.

Was that hickey actually real?

-

the time reached 4:45 and you heard a knock. Allie. You weren’t even fully ready nor did you feel like getting fully ready. you just fixed your hair up and threw on some slides before grabbing your phone and walking towards your door. you just had on uconn joggers with a tank. You opened it to be met with the freshman, a smile immediately going to your face.

She waved before waiting for you to close the door behind you. You both began to walk towards azzi dorm, it was two floors below you so you had to take the stairs.

“what do you think this is about?” Allie asked as the two of you reached the steps. You sighed before shrugging, “honestly, i have no clue. hopefully about what ms redhead was wearing last night.” Allie mouth went wide as she looked at you. The two of you laughed, immediately remembering what she was wearing.

by now, the two of you were standing in front of Azzi’s door, laughs still escaping. “No, seriously, it was hideous…” you both walked in and the atmosphere was off. bad. Both of your smiles faded, noticing everyone’s faces.

it was quiet, everyone spreading around the living area. “What’s going on?” Allie questioned. To make matters worse, Charlotte was there, her face red. She looked like she’d been crying. huh.

“Allie, sweetie come sit down.” Azzi spoke. Why only Allie? Why not both of you? you matched a confused look with the freshman, allie going to sit next to Morgan. Suddenly, all eyes were on you. and you didn’t like it, not one bit.

“Why’d you do that to Charlotte, huh?” Jana asked as she slightly glared at you. “Do what exactly? Because If i remember correctly, she’s the-“

“Oh cut the bullshit, Pumpkin. Not only did you hurt my feelings, you talked bad about your team.” The red head stood. You chuckled, out of shock. Allie was quick to step up. “Guys, Charlottes obviously lying, pumpkin would never.” Charlotte looked at her, “Why are you defending her when she talked the worst about you?” Allie looked at her, “You’re lying.”

“Hell yea, she is! I wouldn’t speak bad about any of you!” Paige scoffed, shaking her head. You looked over at her, hurt over your face. “Really, Paige?” The blonde took a glance before looking at her hands.

“Azzi?” She continued to look at you. You felt jumped, attacked even. “This girl is lying to you all! I wouldn’t say anything about the team!” Paige shot up, “Then why am I hearing that you said you only came here to save us? That we’d be nothing without you?”

Your mouth opened and closed, you were taken aback. “That doesn’t even sound like-“ Azzi stepped in. “You sure? Because i’m praying that’s not how you think of us.” You looked at Charlotte, your gaze on her hard.

“you lying piece of shit! You know I didn’t say that!” She glared, taking a step towards you. “I know that you’re a fake person and you only came here for views. For you to say that UConn is nothing without you is crazy.”

You looked around, “So you guys believe her? Over me?” Kk crossed her arms. “It does make sense though, Pumpkin.” You chuckled again, this time out of disbelief. “I only came here because you guys wanted me to! And for you all to believe a girl you just met not even a week ago is beyond me!”

You then remembered about the mark on her neck. You quickly glanced at Paige and Azzi. “Did you guys cheat on me?” The room went silent. Your eyes went wide, you just nodded your head.

“Yall let this bitch get in your head,” All eyes still on you. “I came here not only because you all wanted me to, but because I thought this would be the perfect fit for me.” Tears fell, an angry look on your face. “Maybe I was wrong.” You took a glance around the room before walking towards the door, slamming it behind you.

“Why’d she say that, Charlotte?” Azzi asked. Charlottes heart dropped, she didn’t think you’d bring it up. Sarah noticed the mark on her neck and moved the girls hair out the way. “You guys really did cheat on her.” The two seniors looked at her neck.

“We didn’t do that.” Paige announced. Allie looked confused. “Someone’s lying.” Jana spoke. Allie then connected the dots. It did take them longer to arrive than everyone else, and Azzi sits by paige in the passenger seat all the time. Charlotte also got ready in her own dorm and was taking her sweet time, that’s what took them a while.

Allie licked her thumb before walking towards the red head and wiped her neck. Charlotte quickly pulled away but it was too late. Allie looked at her thumb to see the color on the pad of her thumb. “It’s make up. You made it seem like they did this to you.”

Everyone looked at the red head. “Why’d you do that, Charlotte?” Azzi asked. Charlotte didn’t know what to say, they weren’t supposed to figure that out. “I’m going after Pumpkin. You’re sick.” Allie spoke.

“I’m coming with you.” Paige stood. “We all are.” You were currently in the commons area of the sports complex side of the dorms, crying to yourself.

“Pumpkin.” You looked up to see the team minus charlotte standing there. You scoffed, “What!?” Azzi took a step closer, “Baby, pl-“ You quickly shut that down. “No, fuck you Azzi! You don’t get to call me that. Not after you believed her over me.” Silence.

“Allie was the only one who was there. And out of everyone, I expected you two to be there.” You looked at everyone, their eyes sad. “I don’t know if I can do this,” Allie’s heart dropped. “W- what do you mean, Pumpkin?” She asked.

You looked at the girl. “I’m sorry. I can’t. Not after this.” Paige and Azzi quickly walked towards you, making you step back. Hurt flashed their eyes, they never meant to make you feel like this.

“Please, let’s just talk this-“

“Enough with the talking shit. You guys are ridiculous.” You wiped your tears and walked off, immediately heading straight to Geno. “You guys did this. You!” Allie shouted as she walked away, she couldn’t help but get emotional about everything.

Paige and Azzi regretted doing that to you, making you feel like shit. Kk and Jana felt terrible, the two not noticing signs earlier. The whole team felt at fault and now they’re about to lose their best player because of some stupidity. “Fuck!” Paige yelled as she threw her key chain across the room. Everyone didn’t know what to say, they blamed their selfs for everything and now you’re gone.

i hate this sm.

i had a brain fart and i couldn’t make it any better so i just wrote anything

new chapter of brothers best friend is still in the making but it’ll be out don’t worry

uh no part three unless someone wanna do it themselves idk

yay!

@melpthatsme

[the-ellia-west]

*Saying this mostly to myself, but it's also directed at you if you choose to listen*

The problem with this is that while thinking this way is helpful to get your spirits up temporarily, it doesn't last forever. Because if you start seeing it as 'helpful' you'll start seeing yourself as 'useful' and that's not a good mindset to be in.

You can't think of yourself like an object. You are a God-given creation, and he and people love you. You are amazing for WHO you are, not what you can do.

Because if we're honest, No person really makes that much of a difference in history. But that doesn't matter to God, and neither should it matter to you. Because he created you as more than a speck of dust on a timeline, a few words in a history book

He created you with a mind, with feelings, with love and worth. The truth is, perspective is what matters. Things may be awful, but if we're honest, things have always been this bad, we've just never been old enough to understand it yet.

The world is sinful, the world is awful, the world is evil, and you should not trust it to have mercy on you. Because you are not of this world. You are worth so much more than all this suffering, all this pain, because you do not belong to it. You were made for so much more than this. You were made for a God who loves you, and he wants you to see that he loves him.

Even if it's hard and you have questions, and you hate him, and the world seems awful. You are a child of the one who reigns over sin and death, the one who triumphs over the devil who drags you down. And he loves you even when you hurt him and push him away, and he's WAITING for you to just see him and let him hold you in his arms.

Politics and despair and pain and suffering are all the things that Satan uses to take you, he offers you a lie disguised as love and you take it because you've never known the real love of a father who wants you to hold you in his arms and sing you to sleep, the love of a real father who protects you from death and asks you to follow him, while giving you the free will to refuse even it he knows it will hurt when you refuse. Because what is love if not letting someone go and waiting to see if they run to you, always ready to embrace them when they reach you, and tell them you've always been waiting.

And all of you who don't believe, I pray over you, I pray that you see the truth and see the one who loves you because I want better for you than this, I pray over you because he wants better for you than this, and Satan wants you, But he should not have you, because you are SO SO loved, and there is a whole world waiting for you if you'd just take the time to open your eyes and see it. Please. I wish for you to be saved.

And for those of you who do believe, Pray, pray like you're talking to a friend, pray like you're screaming to the sky that he hates you, pray in silence and let him surround you, pray against the devil, pray for opportunity and courage and love. Pray for friends and family. Be patient, because it will come to you, Endure the pain but do NOT Let it take you down. SATAN CAN'T HAVE YOU? DO YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! BECAUSE GOD LOVES YOU! HE IS KING AND WE WILL NOT BACK DOWN. STAND UP! RISE! AND LOVE, EVEN IN THE DARK WHEN YOU CANNOT SEE. STAND, AND FACE THE SUN.

I do not know how to defend my beliefs, but I am not afraid. I've done enough standing aside. I'm ready to take my place in this world, I'm ready to let his love fill me and change me and to show it to all of you. Hate me, leave me, ridicule me, pull me down and beat me because you disagree, but I will be right here, and I will love you until the day the world ends. Because you are all my brothers and sisters, you are all children of the one and only true God, and he LOVES you so much.

Feeling rough lately.

[prythianpages]

Stuck | Eris x Reader

Eris x Reader | not much of a summary bc this is a small drabble inspired by Sydney Rose's We Hug Now

warnings: angst, mentions of break up

a/n: I was in the mood to write something angsty & ever since this song popped up on my tiktok fyp, it's been in an endless loop in my head.

Eris turned the small charm over in his fingers, the wood warmed from being tucked in his palm for too long. It was a tiny, crudely shaped hound you had carved from dark wood. You had sworn it was a lucky charm, insisting he carry it with him.

It was ridiculous, really.

The edges were uneven, the legs a little too short. The figurine did not come even close to the beauty of his hounds.

He had wanted to refuse, to toss it back and tell you he didn’t need silly, little charms. But you had been so happy to show it to him, your eyes shining bright and filled with something softer than he deserved. So he had kept it, shoving it deep into his pocket the night he left for a mission, telling himself it was just to humor you. 

And yet, here he was. Years after you had gifted it to him. Turning it over in his hands like it was something precious, a rare jewel. And to Eris, it truly was.

Because what once had been a silly little charm was now the last piece of you he had left. 

Did you even remember it? Did you even remember him?

Eris clenched his fist around the fox. Not harsh enough to break but enough to feel the jagged edges bite into his palm. He bet you were happy. Bet you had found the life you always spoke of, gotten everything you wanted.

You weren’t haunted by the ghost of laughter. You didn’t wake in the dead of night expecting to find someone beside you, only to be met with cold sheets. You weren’t trapped in a palace that felt emptier with every passing day.

You weren’t stuck here, like him.

You most likely found a husband, started a family. Perhaps even opened that tea shop you always spoke of.

Eris wanted that for you, wanted you to have all the things you dreamed of. The things he could not give you, given his current circumstances. He really did.

But the thought of another man standing at your side, of children with his eyes instead of Eris’s, left something gaping and hollow inside him.

Because you had been his. His mate.

And he had never even told you.

But it didn’t matter, did it? Because he is sure you moved on, still oblivious to the strings of fate that tied you to him. What you had—what he burned and reduced to ashes—was nothing more than a closed chapter to you. A small moment in the grand story of your life.

But when he lost you, the world ended for him.

a/n: This is just a drabble for now. I'm trying to get out of my writer's block by just writing whatever comes to mind. But I do have another drabble/angsty Eris piece I wanted to write that could tie together with this. Because let's just say, you aka reader has not moved on and may find yourself in a predicament.

General tag list: @scooobies, @kennedy-brooke, @sillysillygoose444 @lilah-asteria @the-sweet-psycho

@daycourtofficial, @milswrites, @stormhearty, @pit-and-the-pen, @mybestfriendmademe

@loving-and-dreaming @azriels-human @mrsjna, @adventure-awaits15, @lorosette

@alwayshave-faith, @xadenswhore

[green-tea-in-absinthe-bottle]

Shall we ballet?

All Lads love interests x fem!reader (separately) , fluff

How the two of you dance the night away?

General masterlist

Love and deepspace masterlist

XAVIER

Soft music filled the air. Despite it's undeniable beauty you couldn't enjoy this serene melody, overwhelmed by loneliness. You were surrounded by elegant people with nasty habit of hiding their selfish intentions behind well-learned smiles.

You tried to avoid banquets organised by Philonian royal family whenever possible. You simply felt unfit, as if you were unable to assimilate into culture of local aristocracy no matter how many etiquette and dancing lessons you took.

That's why two days ago, when you received personal invitation to this party you took it with resignation, instead of jumping around with excitement, hoping to see the Crown Prince like every other unmarried maiden in this party.

They swarmed around him like a crowd of exotic birds, dressed in luxurious, colorful dresses, battling their eyelashes from behind feathery masks and chirping into his ear. Polite, but always cold and unimpressed, Prince Xavier didn't give them half of a chance to seduce him, dodging every invitation to family celebration and private chambers with ease.

You loved to observe him, and it wasn't just because he was easy on the eyes. He moved around with aura of grace and power, distant and unapproachable like a star in the sky. What a sight to behold.

His gaze met yours, making your heart freeze in fear. Great, now he thinks you're a creepy girl who likes to stalk him from afar. He walked towards you, leaving all fair maidens behind without as much as second glance. With his every step you knees went weaker, and you couldn't move, paralyzed with anxiety.

When he stopped in front of you, you were sure he was about to reprimand you for staring. Instead he smirked in a rather charming way and reached his hand out to you.

"Shall we dance?" He spoke up softly. Sound of his surprisingly tender voice echoed in your ears. It took you a moment to get yourself together and let him embrace you.

He swayed with you to the rhythm of old waltz, guiding your every step. You felt jealous stares burning holes in your back, but the two of you couldn't care less. Xavier looked at you as if you were the only woman in the world.

Prince leaned towards you. His breath tickled your face, now blushing with color as intense as roses in royal garden.

"How do you like this banquet? You seem rather not amused, Miss. As a host of this party, is there anything I could do for you?" Xavier seemed genuine, so you relaxed a bit.

"It's nothing, Your Highness... It's just so crowdy here." You sighed, hoping you didn't insult him. Problem with authorities was the last thing you needed.

"So maybe we could go somewhere more private? There is no better place to watch fireworks than my room's balcony."

ZAYNE

"Did you take me here just to stand around and wait for get-together to end?" You nudged Zayne, slightly rising your eyebrows. He cleared his throat before responding reluctantly.

"You know how much I dislike those those forced workplace holiday parties. Sorry if I don't seem very enthusiastic. That being said, thank you for coming here with me. Having a plus one wasn't obligatory, but I just couldn't do it without you." He gave you apologetic smile.

"If that's what you say, Doc." You sighed, slightly resigned. "However, I plan to enjoy myself. I'll get myself a drink, do you want one too?" You offered, trying to mask your disappointment.

"Go on if you want one, but I'll pass. I refuse to compromise my health like this."

"Doctor Zayne, always so responsible. I guess someone has to be."

He watched how your hips swayed, as you walked across the floor. He watched over you from afar, not taking his eyes of you even for a second.

"With or without ice? I can't decide. " You whispered to yourself. comparing various colorful drinks with each other.

"Excuse me, Miss?" Unknown voice disrupted your thoughts. You turned your head to the side, following it's direction. Dark haired male you just noticed immediately shook your hand with visibly shaking palm.

"You don't know me, Miss, but I've heard a lot about you from my university colleague, Zayne. I'm doctor Carter from Xander Sciences. May I have this dance? " He asked, pulling you forcefully towards the dancefloor before you managed to ask if he's close with your doctor or politely decline him. Next thing you know Zayne is by your side, separating the two of you with his body.

"Don't you know it's rude to steal other people's partners, Carter?" Zayne used his strict physician voice on the other male, making you laugh a little under your breath.

"Oh, I didn't knew the two of you were together..." Carter stuttered out.

"Great, now that you caught up with me you can go. Also understand that I will not join Xander Sciences or leave Akso Hospital. Stop pestering me for once, my patience is running low..."

Zayne groaned out every word, taking you away. You wanted to ask who was this guy, but Zayne didn't seem to want to talk about it.

Once you were at safe distance from him, you couldn't help but tease Zayne.

"Your partner, huh? Who would have thought you're such a jealous man." You laughed at flustered male.

"Guess I should have never let you out of my sight." Zayne said, knowing damn well his sight was perfectly set on you all the time. His visible jealousy gave you a bit of hope.

"So... Doctor Zayne. How about a dance since we found ourselves on the dancefloor either way?" You smiled seductively. He only nodded his head, letting you take the lead. You pulled him deeper into the crowd, swaying to the rhythm of jazz coming from the speakers.

When you turned around, your beautiful smile and shine in your eyes stole Zayne's breath away. His hands found themselves on your waist, at first stiff and hesitant, then greedy. He wanted to feel you for such a long time, now your warmth melted his ice-covered heart. He could've sworn he saw constellations in your eyes, entire galaxies. If there were any shooting stars in them, he wished on those shooting stars unlike the non-believer he was, hoping it will come true and he will be blessed with a few more dances before the night is over.

RAFAYEL

You side-eyed Rafayel, who was very busy counting Koi fish in the fountain when he should be entertaining his very wealthy and influential sponsors.

"Rafayel, are you serious?" You hissed in his ear. Handsome male didn't even bother to look away from the water.

"What is it, Miss Bodyguard?" His melodic voice was usually very pleasant to hear, but right now it only managed to piss you off.

"Will you talk to them? You know Thomas will be disappointed in both of us if you don't. He has enough troubles and work already." You tried to convince him. Unfortunately, Rafayel seemed unbothered.

"Let's go to my studio." He suddenly offered. "This party is so lame, I could be painting right now. Or taking a nice bath. Even training seagulls to sing is less pointless then sitting here. "

You rolled your eyes at him. What a man.

"Do you want me to call Thomas?" Desperate, you threatened.

"Do you think I'm scared of my own assistant?" Lemurian raised one eyebrow.

"Why can't you cooperate for once? We really need to get this done. This exposition could get your art to museums overseas." You scolded him a bit louder than you should've.

"Do you really think I care about human admiration? You forget those you claim to care about so fast and jump into whatever is trendy next. Now they like marine paintings, in a year it will be something else." Rafayel muttered, trying his best to not make it sound accusatory. After all it wasn't your fault that you didn't remember him.

"You know what Rafayel? If there is really no way for you to do your job here right, then it makes no sense to force you. Let's go back." You exhaled, putting your hands up in the air in resignation.

"I changed my mind." Lemurian answered, surprising both you and himself.

"What?" You couldn't believe he argued with you for good ten minutes only to change his attitude impulsively.

"By that I mean, that I will consider humoring those people, if you give me a reason to stay at this party. Dance with me." He slowly demanded with mischievous spark in his eyes. You agreed to it reluctantly, blaming his low, silky, siren voice for making you follow his words. Soon, his strong arms wrapped around you. You never noticed how strong he was.

Rafayel had a perfect sense of rhythm as expected from siren and he moved your body gently. Getting lost in his deep, beautiful eyes that examined your lips with genuine passion, you couldn't help but to sway with him. It was uncharacteristic of him to be this silent, but it was such a comfortable silence, that you only noticed it when the music stopped. He still danced slowly with you in his arms, as if he couldn't care less about the world around the two of you. Engulfed in his smell, you closed your eyes and leaned into his embrace.

"Do you still want to stay here?" Rafayel asked, tracing your waist with his fingertips. You trembled at the sensation. How did he always knew how to get to you in the most subtle ways?

"Not really. Let's go somewhere more quiet." You gave up. Lemurian smiled and placed a kiss on your forehead.

"I know a beautiful place by the sea..."

SYLUS

"Do you like anything here, Sweetie? If you want I can buy you all of this." Sylus purred into your ear, putting his credit card in your hand. You always wondered why did it excite him so much when you spent his money. You took him by the hand and moved between tables with jewels sold on the auction, pretending to evaluate luxurious merchandise. You couldn't care less about valuables, tonight you only had eyes on your handsome dragon.

"You decided on something already, Kitten?" He smirked. You smiled back at him seductively.

"Oh, something definitely has caught my eye." You leaned on his shoulder, sighing dreamily.

"Oh? What is it then?" He played along, staring at you tenderly.

"I'll show you, it's right here. " You answered innocently and put your palm over his chest, where his heart was. Sylus laughed, cupping your face with his hands as he leaned in to look you straight in the eye.

"Only you could be brave enough to ask for this treasure of mine. How do you plan to conquer it for yourself?" He taunted.

"You just watch!" You responded with confidence, taking him by the hand and pulling towards the dancefloor.

"You know, I don't dance with just anybody. I do this cause you're special." Sylus confessed, putting one hand on your waist and reaching out for your palm with the other.

"Oh, I could have guessed by how surprised everybody is to see you with company. Why have you not found yourself a dancing partner before?" You couldn't contain your curiosity. Sylus chuckled casually.

"I guess I just waited for my perfect partner to show up so we can dance our lives away in perfect sync. Somebody who would dare to match my tempo, my rhythm, the tone I set." He winked.

"I would say I'm flattered, but after I've heard you sing I'm not so sure if I can take it as a compliment." You giggled at him, licking your lips. Sylus chuckled at your words.

"Do you suggest my singing skills need improvement? One chance at local Karaoke club and I can prove you wrong."

"No, no, there's no need. I'm just trying to say, that when you play piano you sound way more in tune." You quickly dodged his attempt. Sylus huffed but didn't say anything.

You concentrated on his deep, red eyes, looking at you with both burning passion and endless affection. You always felt naked under his gaze, as if he looked right through you and there was no part of you that you could hide from him. As if he was the only one who truly knew you in this world, with all the good, and the bad, and the shameful, and still wanted you more than anything.

Unable to conceal your true desire you stoop up on your toes to kiss your giant of a man, and without a second thought he leaned into the kiss. His big, warm hands caressed your cheek and ruffled your hair.

"Does that mean I conquered the treasure I wanted?" You asked, catching your breath.

"It was your from the beginning anyways." Sylus reassured you, kissing your forehead.

CALEB

He dreamed about that moment for such a long time, that when it finally happened to him - he couldn't believe it's real. Caleb held you in his arms, admiring the way your short but elegant dress hugged your body, enhancing your curves in the best way imaginable. It displayed your collarbones and apple tattoo you got a few weeks ago.

Caleb could have sworn your outfit today was created with the sole purpose of tempting him and knowing your tendency to tease him, it was very possible. Did you really try to rile him up on purpose? Would you like it if he crossed the line and finally confessed? If he kissed you? Or did you have an appetite for even more?

His gaze wandered from your sweet, plump lips to red apple tattoo, laying above your chest like his mark. Well, if you ignore the fact, that it was you who placed it there. Did you claim yourself as his? Was he really so slow, that you had to take matters into your own hands?

Your soft hand caressed his cheek, disrupting his overthinking session.

"Are you alright Caleb? You seem distracted." You looked concerned. Such a sweet girl, always worrying about him.

"Don't worry Pipsqueek, I'm as focused as I can be. It's just..." His face blushed up to his ears.

"Just...?" You pushed your luck, raising one eyebrow.

"It's just... You look really stunning today, Pips." He stuttered. You laughed a little bit at his shyness. If only he knew how cute he looked when he was flustered.

"Thanks. By the way, you look so good right now as well." You purred, making him lose his rhythm. Caleb almost stepped on your feet.

"You really think so?" His voice came out a bit higher than he would like it to. He just wanted to hear you say it again.

"Of course I do! Such a tall, strong and fit man at his peak form. Not to mention those gorgeous eyes and sculpted cheekbones! What is there not to love?" You teased, batting your eyelashes.

Ah, so you really decided to test his patience today.

"If only you watched your step closer. We don't want to bring ourselves a shame on my friends wedding, right?" You added.

Caleb couldn't care less about whose celebration that was, he barely knew Tara and her groom either way. All he gave a damn about was that you chose him as your plus one.

Main reflectors went down, now replaced by romantic dim lights. DJ announced the last dance of the night - old, slow love song. You moved your body closer to his, sinking into his arms. Your head leaned on his shoulder. Caleb felt his throat get dry. His entire body shivered, intoxicated by your proximity.

His touch- starved body experienced you with each of his senses, taking in your familiar scent, the shape of your body, sound of your breathing and softness of your skin. It was still you, his sweet little girl, but at the same time you were completely different. It scared him but at the same time he hoped he could be someone different to you than he was. Someone more than just childhood friend. You both wanted it for a long time but were to afraid to admit it.

Before nostalgic melody could lull him into false sense of security, you whispered into his ear.

"Do you like my tattoo?" Naughty smirk adorned your face and you were happy he can't see it in the darkness.

"I love it, really. I just didn't take you for the type that would like such things. " He admitted.

"Oh, is that so? Then I guess you don't want to see the rest of my tattoos when we go home?" You whined out with fake pout.

"Wait, there's more?" Caleb couldn't hide that he was taken by surprise.

You only giggled and kissed his jaw in response.

"Pips', you're gonna be the end of me."

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed consider checking out my other works and rebloging! Constructive criticism well seen!

I would also greatly appreciate small donations to my aurum pass funds cause those upcoming banners ...(PayPal in bio)