#and maybe resonates with someone else

[lifenconcepts]

nobody IS the ‘norm’, we all are collectively acting out a role to make sure we just don’t bother others in their own self-absorbed world as we slowly sink into our own. It’s not some awful word, because we’re all recognising that we’re not the same as what we show to the world, and that’s no reason to hide.

also, it’s not normal to be mean. Normal means to fit in and not stand out, being less of a bother to society and the higher ups. It means everyone acts a specific way so we all grow to expect the same from everyone and not feel afraid. We’re surprised when others finally act out, break out their shell, because we also know we are hiding something both incredible and awful underneath but have got to keep the mask on tight.

[a-moth-called-mof]

You know something about all the characters canonically leaving the SMP reminds me of a sandcastle you'd build at a fun day out at the beach. It's fun to build it with the people you love and you keep the fond memories but eventually you and everyone else have to leave and the beautiful sandcastle gets swept away by the waves because of course it was temporary and never meant to last forever but maybe that's okay. Maybe the sand will come back and be used by someone else to build something different. Maybe nature will reclaim the land of the SMP like it did with Lmanburg and maybe someone else will come along and uncover it and build their own story. And maybe that's okay

[jazzatron9000]

back on my cowboy flint agenda with a lil sketch. :) too tired to color but still wanted to share

[lordsovorn]

Idk about you, but Evil Eye seems very gender-neutral to me

Sure, when you see this:

It's understandable to refer to what you see as "him".

But the further you dig, the clearer it becomes that the concept of gender has very little meaning for this being.

(spoilers for anime-onlies - of course you're going to be hit by it like by a truck anyway, but it is polite to warn)

Heck, this ☝️ is not even Evil Eye's own face or hair.

It simply... hasn't grown into it. That one nameless child hasn't been socialized into being a person, let alone a "boy" or a "man".

That's why Evil Eye is so pure. That's why it is so powerful. There is barely any "person" beneath the vengeful ghost, because it never lived long enough to become a person. It was never seen as such, it was never given an opportunity to try and become human. But it did experience just enough life to envy and hate "people", whose caricatured adult form it recreates as it watches more and more of their joys and their cruelty, seething and waiting.

❌ Man

❌ Woman

✅ Hateful ghost of a nameless child

[demigod-of-the-agni]

Forgive me, forgive me. I ask, I beg, I pray, but it never comes.

You know I find it incredibly bewildering to see just how much kalki reflects myself in him like YEAH Duh of course he does, he’s my little guy it’s like his full time job. But at the same time he is a fully functional facet of my being and he is at the mercy of my whimsies, and whatever he discovers in his arduous journey of self realisation is ultimately a reflection of what I discover in the real world. It’s also incredibly funny because ffxiv lore for dark knights is really baked into the idea of (re)discovering yourself amongst the bloodshed and continuing to live and love and thrive despite the world working against us. who would have thought such a raw message could come from an mmorpg side quest about edgy emo boys of all places

also adamantite armour of fending i would lay down my LIFE for u

variant + phone bg version + ID below the cut

tch as if you guys are actually going to use artwork of my little guy as your phone background. i know. how dumb. let a girl dream. i should make an alternate version but it's of Fray and Myste

[START ID: A picture with a red background focusing on the character's bust that is placed to the left of the image's centre. He is coloured with a dark blue overlay, contrasting with the red background. He has brown skin, long black hair that falls over his shoulders, and is wearing blue and gold armour and earrings. He is looking at the viewer, right eye dark brown and the left an glowing unnatural red, with an expression that looks determined and angry and yet bitter and forlorn. In the foreground and on the right side of the piece, a miniature version of the character stands coloured in a light blue overlay and wearing the same blue and gold armour, looking as if he is glowing. He is facing towards the left of the piece, or perhaps at the character bust, his expression unreadable. Above the miniature character's head is the symbol representing the FFXIV dark knight, coloured in gold. END ID.]

[jadewritesficshere]

Pretend

Robin Buckley x fem!reader

Contains: Angst to the max, growing up, menstruation (bleeding and all that entails) and puberty, homophobia (related to teasing and bullying), internalized homophobia, hurt no comfort

-This was a way to write my feelings regarding that girl from my life-

When you were young, you were on the playground swinging on a swing when the chains of the swing next to you rattled. Instead of sitting normally, a girl with lopsided pigtails laid on her stomach and kicked off with her legs. "What are you doing?" You quietly asked. "Flying." She held her arms out and giggled, "Like superman."

You watch for a moment as she continues to giggle. It looked fun. You stand abruptly and watch as her smile falls rapidly. She plants her feet, jolting herself to a stop so fast she almost knocks herself to the ground. You can see her face flush and her eyes look away, almost curling in on herself.

But her eyes went wide as she watched you walk around the swing and lay across it. You hesitantly kicked your feet off the ground, felt the swing push into your ribs and stomach. But she was right, you were flying. You could hear the chains rattle and her laughs begin again as she started back up.

Your parents found you both on the swings, laughing and pretending you were flying. You became inseparable, living two streets apart. Running throughout the neighborhood on adventures.

One summer day around ten years old, you convinced her to go rollerskating with you. Her brand new pink helmet and your purple one shone bright as her mother took a picture. Your faces were pressed together with wide grins as your arms were slung over the other's shoulder.

Robin had ended up crashing into you, knocking out your two front teeth as you landed in a jumble on the ground. Robin had apologized profusely, tears welling in her eyes. She grabbed your hand and raced you back home, apologizing profusely the whole way. Your face felt warm with embarrassment. You pretended it wasn't a big deal.

Her mother had jumped as Robin threw the door open so hard it shuddered on its frame. Her mother had held a frozen bag of peas to your face and her soothing tone calmed and comforted you both. It didn't take long for you both to get distracted by Popsicles. Her mother snapped another picture of the two of you then. You both had scraped knees and dirt covering you, but you both smiled (yours had two less teeth).

When you were a preteen, Robin went to a summer camp and you had been sick. She almost stayed, but you convinced her to go without you. Your stomach hurt so bad, you thought you were dying. You were convinced you were when you awoke in your own blood. Your parents had ran into your room when you screamed. Your father had taken one look and turned on his heel and immediately walked out, stammering awkwardly.

You had the talk then. You already knew about it but it wasn't something you thought about happening to you. You noticed the difference at the end of the summer. You were taller and had started wearing a training bra. But if you thought you had grown, it was nothing compared to Robin. Your mouth had dropped when you saw her again and had to look up at her. You pretended you were mad she had grown taller then you before hugging her tightly.

When you were a freshman, you and Robin went to a sleepover. Normally, you two would share the same bed. Awaking in the morning with Robin half sprawled on top of you. But that was when it was just two of you not a room full of girls. Everyone was giggling and talking about their crushes. "Who do you like?" One of the girls asked.

You hummed, pretending to think. "Well, i do like my lab partner, Josh," you finally declared. The girls chorused a round of Oohs. "What about you, Robs?" You locked eyes with your friend. "Oh uh..." Robin's eyes darted to the ground. "Oh come on, we all know who Robin likes!" Mary, or was it Marcy, declared. Robin's face paled and she stammered," What? No uh, it- it's not-" "Steve Harrington! You're always staring at him!"

The girls were giggling and laughing, going on about Steve and how cute he was. You watched as Robin relaxed, smiling. You pretended you weren't upset that she hadn't told you, her best friend.

When you were a sophomore, Robin was in band while you weren't. You were seeing her less and less. You threw your books in your locker as Tommy made excuses as to why he wouldn't be able to do his part of the project you were assigned. You barely paid attention until his arm darted out in front of you, peeling the picture of you and Robin off the inside. "Buckley? The band geek?" Tommy snorted. "Hey!" You tried snatching it out of his hand but he held it above his head.

"Why do you have a picture of Buckley in your locker?" Tommy asked, peering into the photo. "We're friends, do you not have any?" You asked snatching it out of his hand as he showed it to Carol. "I don't have pictures of Steve in my locker," Tommy defended. "Well maybe you aren't friends," you shrug.

"Or maybe you like Buckley?" Tommy declared, loudly. You could feel others eyes on you," What? No." Carol grimaced and looked at you," Ew, you like girls? We have the same gym class. Oh my god, are you like perving on us?" You could feel the stares growing. "Fuck no!" You threw the picture in your locker and slammed," That's weird! She's weird! I would never like her! As if!"

You turned your head and saw Robin staring at you. Her eyes with tears. Your mouth dropped open to say something but you hesitated. Robin turned and walked away. You pretended you didn't feel sick as you watched your friend walk away.

You were a junior when Starcourt Mall opened. You went to get ice cream when you saw Robin. She was rolling her eyes at her crush, Steve Harrington, but smiling. She locked eyes with you and her grin fell. You waved tentatively, but she turned and went back to talking to Steve. He kissed her forehead. You pretended that you didn't care, hurt and guilt blooming in you.

You left that summer. You thought Hawkins, Indiana was far behind you. You heard about Starcourt burning down, but you went through your senior year and college pretending like Hawkins never existed.

You had just got your degree when you ran into Steve Harrington at a bar in Indy. His swooped hair and hazel eyes looked you up and down, not an ounce of recollection in his eyes. "Sorry about that," he grinned at you," Can I buy you a drink?" Before you could respond, a person barreled into him. Robin.

She clung to him as she rambled about something, trailing off as she realized you were standing there. "Robin..." you blinked. She seemed settled. More sure of herself. It had been only a handful of years, but felt like a lifetime. "Y/N." Her tone betrayed nothing. Steve's eyes darted back to you, widening with realization. "Hey," You hesitant smiled," You look great Robs." "Thanks." You pretended not to notice the glance they shared. Steve invited you to sit with them.

You were glad he did because you got your friend back that night. You had drunkenly sobbed in her arms, apologizing. She had bawled holding you to her, forgiving you. Steve corralled you both into his car. You pretended like the alcohol was barely making you nauseous, getting warned by Steve not to barf in his car.

You wish you could say you could remember every time you hung out after that. Every moment. But there were far too many. Your wall was filled with pictures of you and Robin. Your hand shook as you looked back down at the pale purple invitation in your hand. Cordially invited to the marriage of Robin Buckley and-

You looked back at the wall. Pretending not to be effected. A tear slipped down your cheek.

That's what you did best. Pretended. From the very start.

You had pretended you were flying as a child as if your entire worldview didn't shift and fall out from you as you met the prettiest girl you ever saw. As you felt drawn to her in a way you hadn't felt before, even if you didn't understand it then.

You had pretended it wasn't a big deal when your teeth got knocked out, because you wanted to seem cool to Robin. Your palm sweaty in hers as she led you home. Your heart was beating fast for some reason you hadn't quite realized yet, but you liked holding her hand.

You had pretended you were mad she grew taller because you couldn't believe how good she looked. How you felt awkward and were growing pimples but she looked so good. You hugged her tight, liking how she felt wrapped in your arms.

You pretended you weren't upset she hadn't told you about her crush when you truly were. You had thought you didn't like anyone and just said Josh, because you only thought about Robin. You thought she felt the same. Hearing Steve's name was a shock to your system. And that was when you realized you liked her.

Your stomach had fallen, all the ideas of the future you created came tumbling down. Because of course two women living together and growing old together wasn't normal... of course people got married and did other things. Because of course Robin liked Steve Harrington, you had seen her staring.

You had pretended you didn't care about the picture, about her. You wanted to crawl out of your skin, feeling the stares and whispers. You weren't ready to face it. A part of you hated yourself, for hurting her and for liking her. You pretended you didn't feel sick and like you wanted to bawl watching her walk away. You wanted to scream at yourself because this never would have happened if you were "normal" like your parents wanted.

You pretended you didn't care about Steve kissing Robin's forehead, when you wanted nothing more to rip his perfect hair out. You wanted to kick him in the balls and be the one to kiss Robin's stupid perfect face. You wanted to throw yourself at her feet, begging her to forgive you. You wanted to kiss her senseless, which you quickly tucked back away in it's neat little box. Because women shouldn't kiss other women.

You pretended like your heart hadn't stopped when you heard about Starcourt, when you thought she may have been a casualty. You stole your parents' car and drove back to Hawkins to make sure she was okay. As soon as you saw her with Steve on her front porch, you drove straight back. You cursed him but was also thanking him, because you knew he had helped save her given the state of the two of them.

One day in college when you finally stumbled into a gay bar and cried, you pretended you weren't thinking about what could have been. About how it was okay and that you weren't odd or weird. That there were others just like you. You pretended like you didn't think of her all the time. That every time you kissed someone you compared it to her. That you wished when you opened your eyes you would be staring into hers.

It was fate running into them at that random bar. You had decided to go hear some band play. It was chance but you thought it was fate. You pretended you didn't feel the years of guilt at hurting Robin roll off as she said she forgave you and misses you. You pretended like you didn't imagine a future with her again, as if Steve wasn't there.

You had pretended the alcohol had made you nauseous, but really it was Steve Fucking Harrington having everything you wanted. It was seeing Robin giggle and him helping her into the car, when it should have been you.

You didn't want to not have her in your life. You were glad at any piece she was willing to give you. You wanted to get on your hands and knees begging like a dog for even a scrap of her.

Taking pictures and hanging them up so at least a piece of her lived with you. The time she ran a marathon with Steve and had collapsed into you fake dying. The time you snapped a picture where she had passed out on your couch under your blanket.

She never knew that you had gotten the date you met tattooed on your rib, the same spot the swing had dug into you. So at least a part of her was always with you. That you had always kept that picture her mom took of the two of you after roller skating as kids, because you could see even then your eyes alight with love for her.

It wasn't fair. You were gone for her the day you met, even the years you couldn't admit it out loud. She had stolen your heart from you, something you would have willingly given if she asked. But now her heart was given to someone else. Getting married.

You were too late. Because you never told her the truth. Because you never told her you loved her. You never were honest with her about liking women.

But you would smile and pretend it was all okay. Even as you crinkled the lavender invitation, even as tears rolled down your face, you smiled. Pretending like nothing was wrong. Because that's what you do best, pretending.

[moonlight-and-lilacs]

I believe energy courses, ebbs, and flows throughout the universe, and everything within it. It beams from the stars across the cosmos. From our Sun to our Earth. Every person, animal, mineral, plant and celestial body is formed of, and lives off of it.

As above so below; as the universe, so the soul.

This energy is transferred from thing to thing, through osmosis, consumption, transference. It is what allows living things to be. It is what gives objects any and all physical property they have.

Nothing is created, nothing is lost. Everything transforms.

This energy can not only be sensed, but manipulated, channeled, guided, transformed along a strong enough will.

That is magic.

I believe the Earth is a miracle, a planet which was placed just so within the universe, to nurture and sustain life. The result of energy placed in just the right conditions, to transform into multitudes of life form.

I believe in the strength of the universe, and so I believe in my own strength.

As the Earth, so am I.

I am not a Wiccan, and I am not strictly a pagan.

But yes, I am definitely a witch.

[whattraintracks]

I was recently reminded of something I learned in an intro to college class that I call the +1/–1 energy continuum of relationships. I don't know if this concept has an actual name, if it does, I'd love to know! But I think it's pretty cool and useful, so let me learn you a thing

The basic idea of the +1/–1 continuum is that there are five types of people or relationships in terms of the energy they give you. Some people boost your energy, drain you, or don't really affect you either way.

+2s give you a lot of energy when you spend time with them, and that energy sticks with you: best friends, close family members, etc. +1s are pleasant to be around, they give you energy when you're with them: friends, close colleagues, your nice neighbor 0s are all those people who just exist in your space; you don't engage with them deeply enough for them to positively or negatively affect you –1s necessarily require some energy to interact with, maybe folks you just don't really vibe with –2s completely drain your energy and leave you feeling empty; likely unhealthy or toxic relationships

Now, you're going to meet and have people in your life all over this spectrum, but most people will be between +1 and –1, hence the name.

This concept was radical to 18-year-old me. For a long time, I thought all social interaction was draining and that was something I just had to get used to. There were really only a few people who weren't tiring to be around. Then I learned about this idea, and realised I just had a lot of –1 relationships in my life. And that's fine! That's normal! Those weren't bad people or relationships, I'm just naturally the kinda person who gets drained by social interaction. I needed to understand that about myself and those relationships to do something about it. Now, I know who my +1s and +2s are, and I make sure to keep them close. If there's a week I'm around a lot –1s and 0s, I make time to hang out with one of those few +2s in my life or chat with a few more of my +1s.

The point of the continuum isn't to go around categorising everyone in your life, but to be aware of those people who build you up and break you down or are even just meh to be around. Learning to balance your pluses and minuses, so most weeks you're coming out positive or at least an even 0, is really important: socially, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

For some people, that'll look like planning out their day-to-day and deciding who and how they want to interact with other people. If that's you, by all means. I'm not that kind of person. But I have noticed a difference when I take a moment to think, "Okay, where am I at energy-wise?" and then do what I need to boost my energy.

[crabpeach]

Have you ever known someone just so void of happiness? Like no matter what is going on, their face is a front for a lack of emotions. Even when they demand that something be all about them it’s still not enough. And it will never be enough. I wonder what it’s like to not enjoy things. To merely line up goals and motion for each one to be completed with incredible drive and energy. How did you choose those goals for yourself? Do you feel like they were placed there for you? Is that why you are so unhappy? So untrusting of your ‘loved ones’. Are you capable of love? Do you know what it means? Can you see them? How you’ve hurt them and refuse to be held accountable? I can feel it. That you only know how to keep people in your life if they’re useful. I guess that’s why I haven’t been in your life for the past decade. And that’s why you want back in now. Because I’m suddenly useful. I feel like I should know better. That I shouldn’t give you a chance to take what I’ve worked so hard to give myself. This happiness I’ve cultivated for myself. These silly little things that make me bounce and dance and tap and clap. Will you yell at me again? For clapping? For expressing my myself? Will you devour it like you did all those years ago? Will I be incapable of leaving my room again out of fear for what’s out there? I think I know the answer and I won’t allow you to take what’s mine. Not anymore. Never again.

[imagination-overreaction]

Poor Dog

I am a dog being dragged on the asphalt, The leash demanding I keep pace. I look at the page that demands my thoughts, I am a man trapped behind my own face.

My mind wanders to corners best left unturned, It sends words that will never leave. My hands do not know that they hurt, They pick at my skin til I bleed.

I watch them travel in the mirror, Scratching at what makes them feel ill. I see my eyes fill with hate and hunger, I feel the blood pool under my nails. If I got up it wouldn't hurt near as much, But it will hurt just as much when I fail.

[m0th-t33th]

there is something so incredibly fascinating about getting into something that just makes you want to create. that that silly show or movie or novel flipped a switch in your brain and now you, too, want to create something that, hopefully, flips a switch in someone elses head and continues the cycle of creation. its fascinating to me, how art truly does change people - even in small ways.

[themoonunderstoodmydadjokes]

..

[cherrysnax]

oh yeah we were also wondering why we flock to media with dead kids that haunt the narrative both figuratively and literally and uh :) yeah we know why

[thrumugnyr]

Hey! Just wanted to say that I've been a fan for years, 💞 your art got me through a lot! Hope you're okay and stay safe xx

I have no idea how long this ask has been in my inbox. It might have been years, honestly. So, apologies for the late reply. I hope you're doing well out there, dear anon, wherever you are now.

Thank you for your kind words! When I draw, I do it as an escape from all the negative things in the world and I am very moved that it provided you with something positive as well.

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

> posts a fic i'm proud of about dark subject matter to do with five and his abuse, which came from a very personal place, on AO3

> gets a comment

> it is, Course, a hate comment from an anti, demanding on anon to know why i would 'spend my value as a writer who's read Legacies' to write it

> roasts their ass like a thanksgiving turkey and immediately goes to write more of the thing

[pan-matsuri]

Sleep is for the stupid, unlike me who stays up until 3am because video games made me.