#and malleus asks oh are you embarrassed?

[anbaisai]

Actually going to lose my mind over us NOT being allowed to participate in the jamil compliment party this event update like

Look how cute he is - he's embarrassed from it and i CAN'T add to it? unbelievable 💢

[random-fanfic-ideas]

So going into the Twisted Wonderland world you had your phone and in your phone you had photos of your old life. Some photos were recent, some not that far in time, and then some reaching your childhood. 

When showing off these photos to your very good friend Malleus one night, he comes across your old childhood photos. You were wearing an adorable costume. Malleus loves it! He can’t get over how cute you were in the tiara and poofy ball gown. It’s a little embarrassing, but it’s also nice to know that he’s not finding you ugly and teasing you about it, unlike somebody you know… Ace, that dick. Anyway! Malleus is just gushing over your photos and comments on how you look like a princess and you respond back with a “Oh yeah that’s right. I wanted to be a princess when I was a kid” Malleus nods his head and swipes to the next photos of you drawing. He asks you about the drawings and you explain that as a child, you were obsessed with finding your True Love. You would imagine that Prince Charming would come to your rescue and sweep you off your feet. Together you would both ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. Or something like that.

Malleus pauses and puts the phone down. He turns to you and ask

Malleus: “What if you did become a princess?”

You: “How would I be a princess? What, Is there some royal family out there, looking for their long last daughter?”

Malleus laughs and looks deep into your eyes

Malleus: “What if I made you a princess?”

You: “How would you do thaaaaaaaa….. OH WAIT! PAUSE!”

[etheries1015]

We share the love language of biting. Now imagine TWST beatsfolk has that as an actual sign of courting. Like you're chilling with Leona, not dating or wooing him, and then you bite his cheek in affection. And all of Savanaclaw is shocked because among them, it's the same as i.e. proposing marriage. The utter chaos XD

OHH MY GOSSSHHH YOUR BRAIN >>> I LITERALLY LOVE THIS SO MUCH??? HAHAHA SODEFHSELKJD i'm gonna expand on that for a few characters...

Accidentally courting them

General warnings: Gender-neutral reader, not really proof read lol. Obvious Malleus and Lilia favoritism <3 I also decided that they ARE dating in this scenario, I think its cuter that way in my head heuheu

Featuring: Leona, Ruggie, Jack, Malleus, Lilia, ... and Rook HAHA.

TW: none! Just a bunch o' fluff of biting your non-human lover without realizing it was a sign of courtship <3

Leona

It was a typical day for Leona. You two were sitting in the lounge where most of the other students lingered, Leona becoming rather... possessive as of late. Instead of resting in his bedroom away from prying eyes as you had requested from your lover, he ignored all your feeble cries requesting privacy. Instead, he holds you in his lap without worrying what others are thinking. A form of showing others you were his, and his alone. You were conflicted in your feelings, staring at him. His eyes were closed, but he could feel your gaze burning into his head.

"How long are you-" Then it happened. You gave in. You gave his cheek a bit of a nibble. All of the sudden the chattering stopped, all eyes were on you, before they start patting Leonas back and giving him congrats while a few seemed to pull presents right out of their asses.

"Wha- what's going on?" Leona grumbled with a light blush before growling and pushing the face of someone who tried to hand him another gift.

"You all look like idiots! You know biting means something different to us. Don't be dumb." Okay, now you were extra confused. Seeing your utter ignorance, Leona sighed.

"Biting in our land is a sign of courtship, herbivore." ...Oh. You blush deeply and hide your face in his chest, Leona looking away flustered and ruffling your hair.

"Try again in a few years, and I just might bite you back."

Ruggie

You were walking down the halls with your boyfriend when suddenly you had the urge to just...bite him. an overwhelming sense of love and affection for the fact he had given you some of the bread he (probably legally) got ahold of. You smiled fondly at the bread and back at Ruggie before placing your mouth on the bulb of his shoulder, causing him to yelp in suprise and dropping his half of the bread.

"wha- huh?! What was that for?" He became flustered, bending over to pick up his bread and slowly move away from you with bright red cheeks. You furrowed your eyebrows and hugged yourself, almost embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, I just...I dunno," Your cryptic and non specific response left him with his jaw open and eyes wide, spluttering out things like "We're still in school! I don't have the funds yet-" before a familiar fist came and knocked the back of Ruggies head. Leona stood there smiling in amusement and chuckling at you.

"I don't think they know what that means to us beastman, Ruggie." Even more confused then before, you asked for clarification.

"You just asked him to marry you with that bite of yours, herbivore." Now YOUR mouth was wide open, and Ruggie managed to get flee from the scene without much notice from you nor his senior.

Oh brother. You have a lot of communicating to do with that one.

Jack

You were sitting at the lunch table eating away at your food when you noticed...Jack's biceps. You marveled at the sight of his bulky arms- it's a wonder to you how he managed to become so strong and have the motivation to train all day. With a burst of admiration, instead of biting into your sandwich - you took a bite into his muscle. He yelped in suprise and just stared at you, face slowly turning red. Ace and Deuce laughed at his reaction, ready to ask you what was up before Jack took it upon himself to... well, flustered and rapidly spit-firing plans.

"W-we are still so young! Are you sure about this? I-i never knew our relationship was at this level!" He grabbed both of your hands and looked you in your (bewildered) eyes.

"If you're serious about this, I promise I will protect and love you for the rest of my life. But before we go ahead with the ceremony, I want you to meet my parents and get their blessings. Oh, and I need to get a stable job after we finish school first, too, so I can support you and our future. know we haven't talked about marriage before but-" You quickly cut him off in astonishment before crying out,

"MARRIAGE?! Jack, WHAT are you talking about?! I am absolutely not ready for marriage! What got into you?!"

...Queue Ruggie and Leona hysterically laughing at your utter confusion, reveling in the ignorance of it all for a few moments longer before explaining properly what you had just committed yourself unknowingly to.

Malleus

You were laying in the bed of Malleus Draconias's dorm, scrolling on your phone whilst his tail wrapped around your waist as he sat next to you reading a book. You sighed lightly and leaned your head back against the board of the mattress, turning slightly to look at your handsome fae lover. Your eyes then went down to his pale and perfect skin of his neck, the way it was free from all blemishes, smooth, and bright. Something about it made you want to taint it a light shade of red... He felt you shuffle slightly to adjust your body to be in just the right position where his neck was in full view. He glanced over to you feeling you wriggle free from his tails grasp, tilting his head seeing the look in your eyes crazed as you leaned over and just...chomped down on his collarbone.

You felt his tail twitch and his hands quickly throw the book he was reading aside to grasp your wrists, turning your body around and pinning you to the bed and carrassing your cheek with his tail.

"Biting..." He murmured, "Does this mean the same to humans as it does to Fae? You wish to be wed?" Your jaw dropped and cheeks took on a rosey hue, stuttering over yourself.

"W-wed?! I mean, I like to bite when I feel affectionate b-but marriage...I mean maybe one day b-but-"

"Biting in Fae culture is a sign of courtship and ownership. How brazen of you to mark me," he chuckled, "I shall take it you wish to own the next king of Briar Valley?" You could tell at this point Malleus was teasing you, something he picked up from the time you two have been dating.

Malleus could not help but return the favor by riddling your body with his own bite marks. Although he understood you perhaps did not have the intention of marrying him with your silly little form of affection, he knew in his mind with every bite that he was very serious about your future with him.

Lilia

Lilia already knew that biting in the human world did not mean marriage, yet was akin to something more of "cute aggression." So when you have the habit of biting him in the privacy of yours or his room, he knows you simply meant it as a form of affection, letting him know that you had an overwhelming sense of love for the old fae. He bit you back consistently on many occasions, it just seemed to be the perfect form of showing love for one another.

You didn't actually know it meant something much deeper, until you were in the diasomnia lounge and unable to control yourself as you grabbed Lilias hand and bit down gently on his wrist. You couldn't help it, he was being so entirely silly and loving towards you, that you couldn't help but show this public display of affection. Much to everyone else's dismay, however. Sebek stares at you with his mouth agape, sounds of disbelief escaping past his lips yet a sentence unable to form. Malleus as well seemed surprised at this.

"(y/n)," Malleus said, "You wish to marry Lilia?" You coughed at the sudden question and let out a feeble and awkward chuckle.

"I mean...I wouldn't mind one day, of course. We haven't really talked about it. Why the sudden question?"

"HOW DARE YOU," Sebek cried out after finally finding his words, "How dare you bite Lilia and be so insolent as to not move forward with your actions in dignity! YOU MUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR PROPOSAL-" Lilia started snickering, cutting Sebek off with a wave of his hand.

"It's quite alright, Sebek. Biting means something much different to humans than Fae, I suppose this is the first you had seen us put on a show of affection, hence your confusion." He turned to you, who had furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips at Sebeks sudden outburst.

"Biting, my dear, is a form of courtship to us fae. It is a sign of ownership," He chuckled.

"Why didn't you tell me that?!" You exasperated, "I mean, it wouldn't have changed anything I have done, but I would have been more careful about it... especially if it means something more to you," Lilia gracefully explained he understood it meant something slightly different to humans, before gently grabbing your hand and raising it to his mouth.

"Well, now that you understand what it means," He put your ring finger into his mouth and took a bite at the base,

"Would you like to bite me once more, my dear?"

Bonus:

Rook

You bit his arm and he immediately was on one knee.

"Was that a proposal? You know mon cheri, biting one affectionately is often a declaration of courtship-" You hit the top of his head and walked away from your interesting boyfriend.

"You're not a beastman or a fae! I'm never biting you again!" Your face red and folding your arms, turning away (ah, his cute tsundere lover.)

Oh woe is Rook! He begs and begs you to bite him more, he wants to be covered in your marks. It means you were claiming him as your own, right? RIGHT??

~~~

This was so fun to write DFSEFDSFIHSLDKJF thank you for the brain rot heuheuheueheueh

Masterlist

[solxamber]

Trash Novel Chronicles: Accidentally Falling For a Fae Prince - Malleus Draconia x reader

When you get dragged into a novel which ends with the heroine in a polycule with the most annoying men in literature, you decide that you're gonna skip town. ...Only to trip over the fae prince, Malleus Draconia.

Series Masterlist

Work’s been a disaster from the moment you stepped in. Your boss, who makes dollar bills while you’re lucky to scrape together a few dimes, is in one of those moods. So, instead of pretending to be productive, you do what any rational person would do: you pull up a random webnovel website and let the ridiculousness wash over you.

And oh boy, is it ridiculous.

You start reading "The Villainess's Revenge: My Heart is Colder Than Lukewarm Tea!" and, within the first chapter, you realize it’s like watching cement dry—but with less plot development. The villainess is cartoonishly evil, stomping around in ballgowns with a sneer so exaggerated it’s a wonder her face hasn’t permanently locked in place. Her tragic backstory? She once got served lukewarm tea. And, oh no, she stepped in mud at a ball. The horror. Riveting stuff, truly.

Meanwhile, the heroine? She’s clearly phoning it in. Every scene she’s in, her eyes are dead inside like she’s as exhausted as you are by the sheer nonsense of the plot. If this girl could quit her own story, she would’ve done it yesterday. You can't help but mentally send her your condolences.

Then, there’s the male leads. If you can even call them that.

First, the Crown Prince, whose idea of a crisis is a fashion faux pas. This guy once canceled a whole wedding because his socks didn’t match. His spirals into existential crises every time a thread is out of place would be entertaining if it weren’t so tragic. The way he’s written, you swear he could kill a man with a critical stare over improper cufflinks.

Next up, the Duke. Brooding, romantic, and absolutely incapable of writing good poetry. Every time he spots the heroine, he launches into the worst rhymes you’ve ever heard. It’s so bad that you’re embarrassed for both of them. He follows her everywhere, reading his masterpieces at the most inappropriate times—like during a funeral. Who does that?

And finally, the Hero Knight. Ah, the knight. The epitome of overzealous stupidity. He turned grocery shopping into a three-day quest for the “Golden Lettuce of Destiny,” and vowed to defend the heroine’s honor from…nobody. You’d swear he’s larping 24/7. It’s exhausting just reading about him.

As if that weren’t bad enough, the heroine ends up in a polycule with all of them because the author was so sick of comments asking, “Who will she date?” that they just threw their hands up and went, “Fine, she dates everyone!” The heroine looks exhausted, and you feel for her. You feel for yourself, too, because reading this is actively lowering your IQ.

You sit there, flabbergasted, staring at the screen. This is what you’ve chosen to waste your time on? What’s worse, your boss will probably come around the corner any minute to scold you—oh wait, nope, the corner of the ceiling just gave out and bonk—there goes a chunk of plaster, right on your head.

You cannot believe this is how you get taken out.

You wake up and, somehow, it’s worse. You’re in a four-poster bed, covered in satin sheets, and your first thought is goddammit—you’ve been isekai’d. And not just into any world. That world. The webnovel.

You drag yourself out of bed, feeling a sudden wave of dread. You were the heroine in this mess. The heroine. Goddammit, why does everything bad only happen to you? For a moment, you're relieved you’re not the villainess. But then you remember: you’re stuck in a polycule with three absolute clowns.

Nope. Not happening. You will not end up with any of these pushy idiots. Goal one? Avoid the polycule at all costs.

Suddenly, the door flies open with a bang, and in burst all three male leads, dramatically weeping and crying out how you’ve been in a coma for so long. Their over-the-top emotions would be heartwarming if they weren’t so ridiculous.

“You’ve returned to us, my dearest flower of the kingdom!” the Crown Prince sobs, still perfectly dressed despite the tears streaming down his face. He sniffs and dabs his eyes with a handkerchief embroidered with his own face. Of course.

The Duke starts reciting the worst love poem you've ever heard, right there, in the middle of your room, as if you didn’t just wake up from a coma.

“I wandered, lost, like a daisy in a field of… uh… misery, because you, my sun, were hidden in the sky of my heart…” The rest is a blur because your brain has officially short-circuited.

And the Hero Knight? He’s already on his knees, swearing to protect you from whatever invisible threat he’s made up this time. “Fear not, fair lady! I shall defend thee against all who oppose your grace!”

You manage to kick all of them out of your room with a lot of effort and a lot of heavy glares. The moment you’re alone, you find a suicide note on the dresser, written by the actual heroine. Apparently, she drank poison just to get away from these weirdos.

What an icon.

But not you. You’re not dying again for these guys. No way.

You’re moving through the bustling market in full disguise, keeping an eye out for any knights or familiar faces. Your plan is simple: escape the polycule before any of those nutjobs track you down. With every step, you remind yourself that freedom is just one boat ride away—preferably to a distant land that has no idea who the Hero Knight, the Duke, or the crown prince are.

But as you round a corner, your thoughts scatter when you bump—quite literally—into something solid. You stagger back, blinking up at a tall figure dressed in all black. At first, panic flashes through you—please don’t be one of them—but when your eyes meet his, it’s not the Crown Prince, the Duke, or the Hero Knight.

It’s someone new. And he seems… perfectly pleasant. His strikingly elegant features, crowned by horns, should make him imposing, but his eyes soften as he looks at you. There’s an almost serene curiosity in them.

"Ah, forgive me," he says smoothly, his deep voice lilting with a formality that surprises you. "I didn’t see you there."

"No, no, it’s my fault," you reply, awkwardly waving your hands, trying to figure out why he’s so different from everyone else in this place. He’s polite. Polite. Already, you feel better about this encounter than you have about every conversation with the three other disasters that have been stalking you.

He steps aside, but instead of walking away, he looks around the marketplace with a faint, thoughtful frown. “I seem to have… lost my way,” he admits, glancing back at you. “This place is unfamiliar to me.”

Something in his tone, in the way his eyes briefly widen as he takes in the simplest market stalls—like he’s genuinely fascinated—makes you soften toward him. Ugh, bleeding heart strikes again. Before you know it, you find yourself asking, “Do you need help? I can… show you around.”

He turns his gaze back to you, and his lips quirk into the smallest, softest smile. “That would be most appreciated.”

As you walk together, he marvels at the simplest things—the fresh bread from a stall, the colorful fabrics, the scent of flowers sold at a cart. He’s curious about everything, eyes lingering on each sight like it’s the first time he’s ever seen such mundane wonders. His fascination is oddly endearing. It’s clear he’s not used to mingling in places like this, and his awe at the most normal things is… well, cute.

"Have you ever seen so many people in one place?" you ask, trying to fill the silence, though you’re surprised to find that you’re not uncomfortable around him.

He chuckles lightly. “Not in such a casual setting, no. It’s quite… charming. Everything feels so alive.”

You almost snort at the idea that this guy finds a basic market so thrilling, but you keep it in check. At least he’s not another drama king like the Crown Prince or a bad poet like the Duke.

It’s been a surprisingly pleasant afternoon until your luck inevitably runs out. You spot the familiar, impeccably dressed figure of the Crown Prince moving through the crowd with his knights. He’s scanning the area, and panic rises in your throat.

“Crap,” you mutter under your breath. Instinctively, you grab the man’s sleeve, tugging him down the nearest alley. “We need to go. Now.”

He blinks, looking puzzled but not resisting. “Is something wrong?”

Yes! you think, your mind flashing to the emotional wreck that is the prince. "No time to explain. Just trust me."

But you’re too late. The Crown Prince, in all his resplendent, overly perfect glory, catches sight of you just as you’re about to disappear into the shadows.

“Well, well,” the prince calls out with an overly bright smile. “If it isn’t my darling—oh!” His eyes widen as he finally notices the tall figure standing next to you. “Prince Malleus Draconia of Briar Valley!”

You blue screen.

Your grip loosens on Malleus’s sleeve as your brain sputters. Prince. Fae Prince. You’d just been casually chatting with the Prince of Briar Valley like he was some random lost guy? Did you seriously just… You internally spiral as the realization sinks in. Of course, he's a prince! The horns! The aura!

Malleus, for his part, remains calm and collected, inclining his head toward the Crown Prince. “Ah, it seems I’ve been found,” he says smoothly, completely unaware of the crisis currently happening inside your head.

The Crown Prince gives Malleus a florid bow, then immediately turns his attention back to you. “My dear, you shouldn’t be wandering the streets alone. Allow me to escort you to the palace.” His hand reaches out toward you, his smile practiced and princely, but your gut clenches with discomfort. No, nope, no thanks.

You step back instinctively, your unease written all over your face. Before you can even figure out how to politely decline without causing a scene, Malleus moves.

Malleus, who up until now was watching the exchange with mild curiosity, steps forward. His eyes narrow slightly as he looks the Crown Prince up and down. The prince stumbles over his words and backs away under the weight of Malleus’ stare.

The Crown Prince’s smile falters. He hesitates, glancing between you and Malleus, clearly unsure how to proceed. “I—um—of course, Prince Malleus, I didn’t mean to overstep,” he stammers, eyes darting nervously between the two of you.

You stand there, stunned, watching as Malleus’ mere presence makes the most annoyingly confident man in the kingdom back off. Is this real life?

The prince clears his throat awkwardly, then shoots you one last uneasy smile before making a swift retreat with his knights, leaving you standing there with Malleus.

You let out a long, relieved breath and glance up at him, feeling a little less like you’re about to lose your mind. “Thanks… for that.”

Malleus’ lips quirk into a tiny, knowing smile. “It was my pleasure.” He tilts his head, eyes still twinkling with that same curiosity from earlier. “Although, I must admit, I’m rather curious why you were so eager to avoid him.”

You laugh nervously, running a hand through your hair. “Let’s just say… he’s more trouble than he’s worth.”

You don't know how you’ve ended up in this mess. One minute, you’re lost in the market, trying to figure out how to escape this ridiculous polycule situation, and the next, you’ve been dragged into a carriage on your way to the palace—with the Crown Prince, your overly dramatic Knight, and the Fae Prince himself.

Malleus, the Fae Prince, had politely asked if you would accompany him to the palace, and in a panic, you said yes. Because, really, how could you admit to both him and the Crown Prince that you’d actually been planning to skip town? So now, here you are, sitting through the most awkward carriage ride of your life.

Your knight, perched beside you, clears his throat dramatically. “Fear not, my lady,” he says in a voice filled with too much gravitas for the situation. “I shall protect you from all perils! Should the wind itself dare to brush against your delicate frame, I shall strike it down with my blade! No harm shall come to you so long as I draw breath!”

You facepalm internally. Please. Stop talking.

The Crown Prince, sitting across from you, adjusts his cufflinks for the tenth time. “I must say,” he purrs, fishing for compliments, “this outfit is particularly resplendent today, don’t you think? The shade of royal blue brings out the depth in my eyes. It was hand-tailored, of course. What do you think, my dear?”

You blink at him, trying to process whether he’s serious. He is. He’s absolutely serious.

Malleus watches the exchange in silent confusion, his eyes flicking between the three of you as if trying to figure out if this is normal human behavior. After all, you’ve got one guy swearing to kill the breeze, another obsessed with his reflection, and you, trying to melt into the upholstery.

“Is this… how humans typically behave?” Malleus asks, his voice soft and genuinely curious.

You shake your head vigorously. “No. This is how clowns behave.” Malleus raises an eyebrow but seems satisfied with your answer, settling back into his seat.

When the carriage finally—finally—arrives at the palace, you’re barely holding onto your sanity. But things are about to get worse.

As you’re ushered into the meeting hall, a trio approaches you. It’s Lilia, Silver, and… Sebek.

Sebek, who looks one step away from a full-blown aneurysm.

"Lord Malleus!" Sebek practically screeches, running toward Malleus like the world was ending. “How could you wander off on your own?! Do you know how much chaos you caused?! I almost fainted from sheer terror!”

Malleus doesn’t even flinch. “I had a guide.” He gestures toward you.

Sebek’s eyes land on you, and you quickly glance around for an escape route. “YOU?! YOU DARED TOUCH—”

Before Sebek can finish, you spot the Duke—one of your many suitors and part of the delegation—striding toward you with his usual brooding expression. You instinctively grab onto Malleus’ sleeve for some comfort (or maybe protection from what’s about to come next).

The Duke’s eyes light up as he sees you, and then… he begins to recite. “Oh, my dearest, like the moon that doth gleam upon a cheese plate—no, wait—upon a field of… toes? Your hair, like the petals of wilted roses in the rain... um… and your eyes… they are like two potatoes, cooked to perfection…”

Even Sebek is speechless. You think you see a vein pop on his forehead, but for once, he’s too stunned to yell.

Lilia, standing beside Sebek, chuckles, amused. “Well, I have to say, that’s… quite something.”

Malleus tilts his head, blinking at the Duke’s strange poetry. “Are potatoes considered a form of flattery in human culture?”

“No,” you mutter. “No, they’re not.”

Just when you think things can’t possibly get more absurd, the meeting begins. Because you’re technically the daughter of a Duke, you’re forced to sit through the whole ordeal. They start discussing the logistics of showing the fae delegation around the city.

“We need someone trustworthy to act as a guide,” one of the officials says, glancing toward the Crown Prince.

Malleus, who had been quietly observing the room, suddenly speaks up. “I believe I’ve already found the perfect guide.”

You freeze. No. No, no, no.

“The young lady who helped me in the market,” Malleus continues, looking directly at you.

The room falls silent. You, of all people, are the last person who wants to be anywhere near the fae delegation or, worse, your insane suitors. But before you can even open your mouth to refuse, the Crown Prince starts.

“My dear,” he says, leaning forward with a princely grin, “while I understand you’ve already formed an acquaintance with Prince Malleus, perhaps it would be better for someone more… experienced to take on this role.” He flashes his most charming smile, which, after everything today, only makes you cringe.

But Malleus just stares at him, completely unbothered. “No. I want her as my guide.”

Silver shifts slightly, glancing at you with an expression you can’t quite place, while Lilia’s eyes twinkle with amusement. “How interesting,” Lilia murmurs, clearly entertained by the situation.

Sebek, however, explodes. “IF LORD MALLEUS WANTS HER AS HIS GUIDE, THEN SO BE IT!” He turns toward the Crown Prince, practically vibrating with anger. “YOU WILL NOT QUESTION HIS DECISION!”

The Crown Prince, for once, looks genuinely taken aback. “I—I meant no offense! Of course, whatever Lord Malleus desires…”

You sink into your chair, feeling like your last chance at a peaceful life just flew out the window. Malleus turns to you with an expectant, polite smile. “I look forward to our time together.”

You groan inwardly. How is this my life?

You had to admit, Malleus was really nice. When you compared him to the absolute circus of clowns you had to deal with, he was practically a gift sent from above. So, you made a decision—if you were going to be his guide, you were going to be the best guide ever. And once they wrapped up this whole diplomatic visit, you'd beg him to take you with him to Briar Valley, where hopefully, your ridiculous suitors would be very far away.

Apparently, being a guide also meant dragging him along to everything you did, including navigating high society. This was where things got tricky. The original heroine had endured these events like a pro, but you? You were just a lowly office worker who'd read bad webnovels to avoid work. Now you were living in one.

First stop: a tea party.

As you sit down with Malleus beside you—who’s awkwardly perched in a chair much too small for him—you scan the room. Of course, all three of your ridiculous suitors are here. The Crown Prince, obsessing over the intricate lace of his cravat. The Hero Knight, sharpening his sword for no reason in the middle of a garden party. And the Duke, scribbling poetry on a napkin with all the grace of a sleep-deprived teenager finishing their homework five minutes before class.

But this wasn’t just about them. This was also your first time meeting the so-called villainess.

The villainess arrived like a whirlwind of petticoats and extravagant headpieces, smiling in that "I'm about to ruin your whole existence" kind of way. You smiled back, trying not to look dead inside when she launched into a diatribe about ruffles.

"And you see," she said, flickering her wrist with an air of superiority, "it was positively scandalous! The seamstress gave me a gown with only forty ruffles. Can you imagine? What am I, a commoner?"

You tried to smile politely. Truly. But Malleus, seated beside you, was staring at her with this fascinated look, as if watching a rare bird display its feathers. You could tell he was having a hard time grasping what the point of her story was. So were you.

But then, of course, the conversation turned personal.

“And the Duke,” the villainess said with a sly smirk, “such a poetic soul. He deserves better than to pine over someone who clearly has no appreciation for his art. Don’t you think?”

You blinked. Was this woman for real? You glanced at the Duke, who had suddenly gone from scribbling to gazing at you with that awful puppy-dog look. The one that meant another horrible poem was probably brewing.

You couldn’t help it. The words came out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. “Please take him.”

The villainess's eyes widened. “What?”

Malleus looked at you in amusement, while the Duke gasped dramatically, as if you’d just run him through with a sword.

You clasped your hands together and leaned forward earnestly. “Please, please take him. I don’t want him. At all. He’s all yours. You can have him—along with his potato-themed poems.”

The Duke visibly wilted. “But—! My lady! You—you wound me!”

“No, Duke, you wound me—with your terrible metaphors,” you deadpan. “And I’m begging you. Take him. Please. For the love of everything holy, I’m begging you.”

The villainess, probably for the first time in her life, looked completely flustered. “Are you… serious?”

“Absolutely,” you said, nodding. “I will sign papers. I’ll throw a party. I’ll—whatever it takes. Just… he’s yours.”

Malleus and Lilia were practically shaking with barely-contained laughter at this point, while the Duke had dropped to one knee, a napkin-clutched in his hand like some sad bouquet. “My poems… they were written with you in mind. Each line! Each stanza! Crafted from the depths of my heart!”

“Exactly,” you said, unblinking. “That’s why I need you to take him. Before he writes more.”

The villainess stared at you, completely dumbfounded. Then, after a pause, she broke into a smile. “Well, I’ve never had a man gifted to me before. I suppose I can make an exception.”

You felt like you could cry with relief. “Thank you.”

And just like that, your beef with the villainess was squashed. You traded your tragic suitor for peace of mind, and the villainess, now on the receiving end of the Duke’s “affections,” seemed pleased with her new prize.

Malleus leaned in, his voice low but filled with amusement. “I must say, you handled that quite well.”

You sighed, finally able to relax. “I handled that with desperation.”

And just like that, you’d rid yourself of two your problems. Now… to figure out how to survive the other two without losing your sanity.

You barely had time to process your victory over one villainess before a second one spawned out of nowhere like this was some kind of twisted video game. The Isekai Overlords clearly weren’t done with you yet. And this one? Oh, she was worse. The Crown Prince’s younger sister—spoiled princess extraordinaire—who genuinely believed her father was the reason the sun rose in the morning.

But, to your surprise, she didn’t even care about you. Like, at all. She acted like you didn’t even exist. Honestly? You were grateful. At least you could blend into the background this time and—oh no. Oh no.

She was making a beeline straight for Malleus.

You watched, horrified, as the princess latched onto him, throwing herself at him like he was a rare limited-edition collectible and not, you know, the Prince of Briar Valley and one of the most powerful beings in the world. Malleus shifted uncomfortably, clearly unsure how to handle the situation, while Sebek was being barely restrained by Lilia and Silver. Lilia, of course, had that mischievous glint in his eye, like he was enjoying the whole ordeal.

You, on the other hand, were not enjoying it. You could practically see your retirement plans shriveling up in front of you—this had diplomatic nightmare written all over it. If Malleus so much as sneezed, you were pretty sure this princess would declare war on Briar Valley.

So, you did the only thing you could think of: you stepped in.

“Um, excuse me, Your Highness,” you said, stepping between the princess and Malleus. “Could you maybe… not cling to him like he’s a handbag?”

She turned to you with a look of utter disdain, like you were a fly she was too annoyed to swat away. “And who are you, exactly?”

Before you could answer, she pointed an accusatory finger at you. “I challenge you to a duel! For his hand!”

You blinked. “Bro, what?”

The princess huffed. “For the hand of Prince Malleus, of course! You think I didn’t see you fawning over him?”

“Fawning? I’m literally just his guide!” You gestured to Malleus, who, for some reason, looked almost giddy. “I’m not dating him, we’re not engaged, and if you push it, we’re maybe friends.”

Malleus practically beamed at the word “friends.” Was he… happy about this? About being defended like some damsel in distress? You were defending the most powerful fae in existence, and here he was, looking like you just made his entire year.

Sebek and Silver immediately stepped forward, but before they could say anything, Malleus raised a hand. “No. I would like to see how my guide—and friend—defends my honor.”

Your brain short-circuited. What?!

The princess smirked, clearly thinking she had you cornered. “Prepare yourself for the duel then! My personal knight will face you.”

You glanced at the knight, a towering figure who looked like he’d been training for war since birth, and then back at the sword that had been thrust into your hands. This was not how you imagined your day going. You hadn’t even touched a sword before. Meanwhile, your opponent was stretching like this was a warm-up exercise.

Still, you had no choice. With a deep breath and the knowledge that you were about to make a complete fool of yourself, you stepped forward, sword held awkwardly in front of you.

The duel began.

The knight lunged at you with a practiced, fluid motion. You, on the other hand, tripped over a rock, accidentally ducking his strike, and in your flailing attempt to stay upright, the hilt of your sword smacked him right in the face.

There was a collective gasp from the audience.

“Oh no,” you muttered under your breath.

The knight staggered, his face scrunched in confusion. He tried again, this time swinging from the side. You managed to parry—purely out of luck—and in the process, tripped forward, sending your sword clattering out of your hands and somehow knocking the knight’s legs out from under him. He fell to the ground with a thud.

Dead silence followed.

You stood there, frozen, your sword lying a few feet away. The knight was on his back, staring up at the sky, clearly bewildered by what had just happened. You hadn't even swung properly!

Lilia burst out laughing. “My, my! That was quite the duel! You’ll have to take responsibility now.”

“Responsibility?” you echoed, flustered beyond belief. “For what? I just—he tripped! I tripped! That wasn’t even—”

“Exactly,” Lilia teased. “You won the duel. Now you must take responsibility for defending Prince Malleus’ honor so valiantly.”

Malleus, looking thoroughly impressed, gave you a small, pleased smile. “Indeed. You have my gratitude.”

The princess, meanwhile, was gaping at you like she couldn’t believe what just happened. “This… this is an outrage!”

You sighed, feeling utterly exhausted. “Look, I didn’t even want to duel in the first place. Can’t we just—call it a day? I’ve had enough of knights and duels and—” You gestured vaguely to Malleus. “I’m not even dating him.”

Malleus’ smile widened. “But we are friends.”

Lilia chuckled. “Ah, young love is so complicated.”

You shot him a glare. This was not what you signed up for. But hey, at least you won the duel—somehow.

You were lounging in your mansion’s parlor, the day blissfully uneventful for once. The warm sunlight filtered through the windows, casting a cozy glow over the room. Malleus was mid-conversation—no, scratch that—mid-rant about gargoyles. To your surprise, you were actually kind of into it.

“And that’s the primary difference between gargoyles and grotesques,” Malleus continued passionately. “You see, gargoyles are not merely decorative but also functional, designed to channel water away from the structure, whereas grotesques, while similar in appearance, serve no such purpose. Fascinating, isn’t it?”

You nodded, intrigued, and cut in with a genuine question. “Wait, so is the functionality the only difference? Like, are they made from the same material?”

Malleus blinked, slightly taken aback that you were not only listening but actively participating. “Yes, precisely. They are often carved from the same stone, but it’s their purpose that sets them apart. For example, in the southern—” He paused, seeming to catch himself, suddenly looking sheepish. “Ah, forgive me. I fear I’ve been talking too much.”

Sebek nearly jumped out of his seat, eyes wide with horror. “Lord Malleus! Everything you say is perfect! Don’t apologize for sharing your magnificent knowledge!”

You couldn’t help but laugh a little. “No, really, I enjoy it,” you said, waving off Malleus’ concerns. “I mean, how often do you get to talk about something so niche with someone who knows this much about it? I actually have a question—do any of the gargoyles in the Briar Valley have, like, historical significance? Like ones that are still functioning after all this time?”

Malleus lit up, and he launched right back into it, going on about ancient gargoyles in the Briar Valley that had withstood the test of time. He even started comparing the craftsmanship of various eras, and to your own surprise, you threw in a few comments about architecture and water systems, things you barely remembered from some random articles you’d read ages ago.

Halfway through a comparison of Gothic versus Renaissance gargoyle styles, a soft knock interrupted. Your maid entered, bowing slightly. “My lady, pardon the interruption, but we need your guidance with something in the kitchens.”

You sighed but smiled, pushing yourself off the couch. “I’ll be right back. Don’t let them bully you into leaving the gargoyle talk,” you teased as you walked out, completely unaware of the effect your comment had left behind.

As soon as the door closed, Malleus stood there, momentarily speechless. His pale cheeks took on the faintest hint of color, and his eyes were wide, as if someone had just smacked him with a metaphorical brick of emotions. The prince of Briar Valley, the most powerful creature in existence, was blushing like a schoolgirl with her first crush.

Lilia, ever the mischievous one, was already grinning from ear to ear, eyes twinkling with mischief. “Well, well, well… isn’t this interesting?” he purred, barely suppressing a chuckle.

Silver raised an amused brow, casting a side glance at Malleus. “It’s not every day we see him blush.”

Sebek, on the other hand, was utterly baffled but still overjoyed at seeing his lord smiling so widely. “Of course Lord Malleus is happy!” Sebek exclaimed proudly, though there was a trace of confusion in his voice. “He’s been honored with your presence and your rapt attention, as is only right! I just—” Sebek glanced around, as if trying to understand the subtle undercurrent in the room, “—I don’t understand why he’s so… red?”

Lilia patted Sebek on the back, barely holding in his laughter. “Oh, Sebek, my boy. This is what happens when someone gets the attention they’ve long desired.”

Malleus cleared his throat, trying—and failing—to compose himself. “I’m merely… pleased,” he said, though his blush betrayed him. “It’s rare to find someone who listens so attentively.”

Lilia chuckled softly. “Yes, and who knows the difference between gargoyles and grotesques, I imagine. Quite the match for you, wouldn’t you say?”

Malleus, flustered beyond belief, gave Lilia a sidelong look but said nothing, clearly more preoccupied with the strange warmth blooming in his chest.

By the time you returned, unaware of the scene you’d left behind, Malleus was still trying to gather himself. Lilia shot you a knowing smile, and Silver just gave you a look like you have no idea what’s happening, do you? Sebek, as always, continued to beam with unshakable loyalty to his blushing lord.

But hey, at least Malleus was happy—really happy.

It all started innocently enough—you were having dinner with Malleus, Sebek, Lilia, and Silver. Sebek was, as usual, going on one of his rants about how absolutely divine Malleus was, Lilia was being cryptic and vaguely mischievous, and Silver was dozing off between courses.

You, being the delightful disaster that you were, cracked a joke between bites. “Honestly, if Sebek praises Malleus any more, we might as well commission a statue of him—complete with an audio loop of Sebek’s praises.”

Malleus laughed. Actually laughed. It was such a rare sound, deep and rich, and when you heard it, your heart stuttered in your chest like someone had just jabbed you with a lightning bolt.

Oh no.

You knew, from that very moment, you were in deep, deep shit.

From that point on, everything Malleus did made it impossible for you to act normal around him. His laugh, the way his eyes crinkled when he found something amusing, the warmth in his voice when he spoke to you—how had you not noticed before? And now, every time Lilia even looked at you, it was with this knowing, mischievous grin, like the universe had finally granted him the entertainment he’d been waiting for all these centuries.

“This,” Lilia said one day, leaning in conspiratorially with a grin that could light up a room, “this is what I’ve lived so long for.”

And to make matters worse, it wasn’t just your mind tormenting you. Oh no. It was like the entire world was in on the joke. You could practically see sparkles in the air every time Malleus so much as glanced your way. Sparkles, for crying out loud. Your heart was in critical danger.

Your solution? Avoid him.

But it wasn’t that simple. You tried hiding behind furniture, ducking into bushes, and even feigning an incredibly inconvenient bout of food poisoning just to avoid being near him. One time, you spotted Malleus coming down the hall and, in a blind panic, dove behind a potted plant. The plant was tiny. You were not. Somehow, you thought it would work.

It didn’t. Malleus casually walked over, spotted you crouching awkwardly behind the plant, and said, “Is there something wrong with that shrubbery? Should I summon someone to tend to it?”

Another time, you attempted to “sneak” out of the palace by pretending you were a passing merchant. You wore a very large hat and wrapped yourself in an oversized cloak. Malleus found you immediately.

“Aren’t you feeling a bit warm in that?” he asked, blinking at your ridiculous ensemble.

He had fae hearing. He could always find you.

Even guiding him around town became a disaster. How were you supposed to be a competent host when all you could think about was how unfairly hot he was? Every word he said carried this charming, ancient elegance, and here you were, a flustered mess with zero composure.

Lilia? Still having the time of his life. He was practically choking on his laughter at this point. Silver, somehow, slept through most of your crises, and Sebek was just thrilled Malleus was spending so much time with him (though he was clearly confused about why you were acting so weird).

Finally, you had enough. One night, under the cover of the moon, you snuck into the garden with the determination of someone completely done with their own suffering. You found a flower—granted, you didn’t know what it was, but it looked nice—and you marched up to Malleus, who was out enjoying the evening air, blissfully unaware of the emotional train wreck headed his way.

“I need to say something!” you blurted, shoving the flower toward him.

Malleus took the flower carefully, glancing down at it. His expression shifted from curious to… mildly concerned? “This flower,” he said slowly, “is traditionally used in Briar Valley to signify deep betrayal…”

You blinked. Oh god.

“No, wait! I didn’t mean—!” you stammered, but before you could backtrack, your brain decided it had had enough. You blurted out the truth, no holds barred: “I like you, okay?! I’ve been a mess for weeks because of how ridiculously perfect you are, and I’m tired of avoiding you and hiding behind plants! So there!”

There was a moment of stunned silence. Malleus stared at you, his eyes wide with shock, and then, much to your surprise (and relief), he broke into the widest smile you’d ever seen on him. It was like the moon had just gotten brighter.

“You’re confessing… to me?” he asked softly, his voice filled with genuine joy.

“Yes,” you groaned, face burning with embarrassment. “Now please reject me so I can go lie in a ditch somewhere.”

But instead of rejection, you got happy dragon noises. Malleus gently pulled you into his arms and, with a voice full of affection, declared, “You are mine, then. From this day forward, you are my beloved.”

Cue your soul leaving your body.

When you broke the news to your father the next day, the poor Duke nearly fainted at the sight of the Prince of Briar Valley standing there, flanked by Silver, Sebek, and Lilia, the former general grinning like the Cheshire cat.

The Duke was intimidated—terrified, really—and quickly agreed to let the courtship proceed. But there was a catch.

“You’ll have to tell the Crown Prince and the Hero Knight yourself,” your father said, his face pale. “I’m not getting involved in that.”

Your retirement plans had officially died.

Despite all the chaos that had entered your life since becoming Malleus's beloved, you had to admit—there were perks. One of those was what you’d come to call "fae luck." It became especially apparent during a particularly tense diplomatic meeting involving the fae, the beastmen, and your kingdom.

The room was filled with strained conversations, the kind of diplomacy that could either result in peace or war, depending on how fragile the egos in the room were. You were sitting between Malleus and the second prince, doing your best to avoid looking at the first prince, who had already been giving you way too much attention for comfort.

Then it happened.

The first prince, ever the picture of grace, rose to speak. As he took his first step forward… THUD. He tripped spectacularly, arms flailing, and landed directly in the lap of the Beastmen Queen. There was a collective gasp, and for a heartbeat, you thought maybe this could be saved—until he opened his mouth.

“Well, I guess I’ve… fallen for you!”

Silence.

The Beastmen Queen's expression froze. The fae delegation collectively facepalmed, and you could practically feel the tension suffocating the room.

And then the Beastmen were on their feet, growling and demanding the immediate removal of the first prince from the line of succession. One of their diplomats, fur bristling with indignation, roared, “This is an insult to our Queen! Remove this fool from the throne!”

Instead of apologizing, as a normal, sane person might have, the first prince, face red with embarrassment, dug himself even deeper. “It was a joke! Can’t you beastmen take a joke? Honestly, I don’t see why everyone’s so sensitive.”

The Beastmen's amger intensified, and you saw the Emperor and Empress—who had been trying desperately to maintain order—sink deeper into their seats, their expressions a mix of horror and resignation. The entire room was teetering on the brink of an international incident.

And then… you spotted it.

A little green wisp, barely visible, flitting through the air right around where the prince had been standing before his magnificent face-plant.

You glanced toward Malleus, who was sitting beside you, looking perfectly composed, save for the faintest glimmer of amusement in his eyes. Beside him, Lilia gave you a knowing wink, his mischievous grin unmistakable.

They caused this.

Within moments, the decision was made: the first prince was officially removed as heir to the throne. His younger brother, the second prince—who had always been calm, composed, and infinitely more capable—was declared the new Crown Prince.

It was glorious.

But before you could celebrate, the first prince turned toward you, his expression sour and filled with desperation. "You—" he began, as if about to drag you into his misery.

Not today, prince.

Finally given the chance to reject him properly, you rose from your seat, letting out a long, exaggerated sigh as you faced him.

“I’ve been waiting so long to say this,” you began, crossing your arms and locking eyes with him. “I reject you. Completely. Wholly. Utterly. There is not a single fiber in my being that has ever been remotely interested in you. In fact, the only thing that’s ever kept me in proximity to you was the sheer necessity of survival.”

The first prince’s mouth opened, but you weren’t done.

“Remember all those times you made those comments about my ‘station’ and how ‘lucky’ I was to be considered by you?” you said, raising an eyebrow. “I didn’t say anything back then because I was too polite, but now? No thanks. Absolutely not. I would rather spend a century in the swamps than a minute more listening to you.”

Sebek, of all people, burst into laughter. “She’s got a point!” he managed between snickers. Lilia was grinning from ear to ear, his eyes twinkling in amusement, and Silver, barely awake, gave a lazy thumbs-up in support.

Malleus, meanwhile, looked positively enchanted. His eyes sparkled as he watched you lay into the former prince, pride and affection written all over his face. When you were done, he leaned toward you, murmuring with a soft smile, “I do love seeing you stand up for yourself.”

The first prince, his face red with humiliation, stammered, “You can’t speak to me like that!”

“Oh, but I just did,” you replied with a sweet smile. “And you know what? It felt amazing.”

With that, the first prince slunk away, his tail metaphorically between his legs, while the room buzzed with whispered laughter. Even the Beastmen, who had been ready to rip the prince to shreds, seemed satisfied.

You had never felt more victorious. Malleus looked at you with such adoration, and Lilia… well, Lilia looked like he was already planning his next round of mischief.

It was a good day.

The festival was going about as smoothly as a cat in a bathtub. You were trying to act like you weren’t hopelessly entangled with the most dangerously attractive fae prince in existence, while also managing to survive the company of your absurd entourage.

Sebek was marching around, loudly reminding anyone within earshot of his unwavering devotion to Lord Malleus. His eyes would dart to you occasionally, like he was calculating whether you were worthy of being in the same airspace as his revered master. Silver, half-asleep, was keeping one lazy yet disturbingly sharp eye on you, while Lilia was in his element—practically vibrating with amusement, like he was waiting for you to trip and fall into a cauldron of chaos.

And then there was the Hero Knight. This guy had shown up uninvited, all shiny armor and noble delusions, insisting he protect you from… something? Yourself? Malleus? Winning too many festival games?

“Are you sure you’re safe?” the Hero Knight asked, sidling up far too close, his voice a conspiratorial whisper. “I’ve heard stories about these fae festivals. One wrong step, and you’ll be cursed to dance for a hundred years, or worse—turned into a tree.”

You squinted at him. “Right. I’ll make sure to avoid the face-painting booth. Wouldn’t want to end up as a shrub for eternity.”

Malleus, ever patient, simply raised an eyebrow, as if contemplating whether this so-called Hero Knight was worth the oxygen he was breathing. Lilia, meanwhile, was biting his lip to stop from laughing.

But then, amid your rising frustration, you spotted it: the holy grail of festival prizes. The gargoyle plushie.

It wasn’t just any gargoyle plushie. It was perfect. Chunky, with tiny wings and a slightly disgruntled expression, it radiated the exact energy you associated with Malleus—regal, intimidating, yet somehow huggable.

You pointed at it like you’d just discovered a hidden treasure. “I need that.”

Malleus, ever-attentive, followed your gaze and smiled softly. “Do you desire the gargoyle?”

“Obviously! It’s basically you in plushie form,” you said, already walking toward the game stall. “But, you know, it’s rigged. All festival games are.”

Malleus watched you with his trademark elegant amusement. “Perhaps I can—”

“No, no,” you interrupted, raising a hand. “I’m winning this fair and square. No fae magic, no dragon lord intervention. Just pure skill.”

You grabbed the darts, took a deep breath, and began your assault on the rigged game. It wasn’t easy. The darts bounced, the targets mocked you, and you could feel the Hero Knight hovering over your shoulder like a bad itch.

“Are you sure this is wise?” the Hero Knight asked again, his voice dripping with concern. “This feels like a trap. What if they’ve enchanted the darts? What if—”

You whirled on him, fed up. “Listen, Sir Gallant-with-too-much-hair-gel, it’s a dart game. Not an assassination plot. If I can survive dealing with you, I think I can handle a few rigged targets.”

Lilia absolutely lost it. He doubled over, wheezing in laughter, while Silver let out an amused snort. Even Sebek looked like he was struggling not to smirk, though he quickly composed himself.

Malleus, ever regal, simply smiled, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “I have faith in your abilities, my dear.”

Fueled by that comment—and the knowledge that the Hero Knight was slowly losing what remained of his dignity—you managed to hit the final target. The plushie was yours.

Triumphantly, you grabbed the gargoyle and turned to Malleus. “For you.”

Malleus, to your utter delight, looked genuinely touched. His eyes softened, and that rare, warm smile appeared. “You won this for me?”

“Obviously,” you said, trying not to melt under his gaze. “A prince should have his own gargoyle.”

Silver, who had been observing the entire scene with increasing clarity despite his usual drowsiness, raised an eyebrow. “Interesting.”

Sebek, who was still processing the fact that you’d just casually given his lord a gargoyle plushie, grunted. “You… you truly care for Lord Malleus.”

Before you could say anything, the Hero Knight, still floundering, piped up. “Well, I could’ve won that gargoyle too, you know. If you wanted to—”

“Oh, please,” you cut him off, turning to the Knight. “You probably would’ve asked the stall vendor to throw in a manual on ‘How to Not Be a Total Wet Blanket at Festivals.’”

Lilia nearly collapsed. “Oh, please stop—I can’t—” he gasped, clearly having the time of his life.

You waved him off and turned back to Malleus, who was still holding the plushie with the same reverence one might reserve for an ancient relic. “Shall we continue?”

Next up was a couple’s game. You had no intention of participating—until you noticed the Hero Knight gearing up to suggest that he join in to protect you. Oh no. Not today. You grabbed Malleus’ arm and dragged him into the game, completely ignoring the Knight’s sputtering objections.

“It’s… it’s traditionally for couples…” Silver noted, giving you a look that clearly said, I see what’s happening here.

You ignored him too.

The game was simple enough: throw rings onto bottles, but for some reason, the tension was palpable. Probably because you were standing next to one of the most powerful beings in existence, and you’d dragged him into a ridiculous couples’ game in front of his overly protective retinue.

But you won. And to rub salt in the Hero Knight’s ego, you fed Malleus one of the sweets you’d won.

“Y-You!” Sebek spluttered, looking as though you’d just committed the highest treason against decorum. “Feeding Lord Malleus… this… this is too much!”

The Hero Knight, on the other hand, looked utterly baffled. “Are you… are you sure that’s safe? What if the sweets are—”

“I swear, if you don’t stop, I’m going to feed you to the fairies,” you hissed, snapping the sweet in half and popping it into Malleus’ mouth. He smiled as he ate it, clearly enjoying himself.

By the time the fireworks started, you had somehow survived the night without murdering the Hero Knight. The sky exploded in a kaleidoscope of colors, and for a brief moment, it was peaceful.

And then, without thinking, you kissed Malleus.

There was a split second of stunned silence. And then all hell broke loose.

Sebek let out a screech that could rival a banshee. “My Lord! My Lord!” His voice cracked in disbelief, but then—surprisingly—he softened. “If… If Lord Malleus must fall for a human, I am glad it is someone… as devoted as you. My lady.”

You looked at him, touched. “Thank you, Sebek.”

Silver gave a rare smile, looking both amused and resigned. “Congratulations. You’ve managed to pull this off somehow.”

Lilia, predictably, was still dying of laughter, barely able to breathe between fits of wheezing.

And the Hero Knight? He looked like someone had just told him vampires were real and lived next door. “This… I… What…?”

You turned to him with a smile that could cut steel. “Oh, don’t look so surprised. I’ve been trying to tell you for months that I wasn’t interested. I’d rather kiss a gargoyle than you—actually, no. The gargoyle’s got more charm. Better conversation skills too.”

Lilia was full-on cackling now, leaning against a festival stall for support as the Hero Knight’s dignity shriveled up into nothingness.

Malleus, looking absolutely radiant, wrapped an arm around your waist. “Shall we depart? I believe we have a kingdom to return to.”

The next day, you stood with Malleus and his merry band of chaos, bidding farewell to your parents and butler. The Duke was still recovering from the heart attack Malleus had given him when he asked for your hand in courtship.

As you waved to your family, Malleus gently took your hand, leading you toward the carriage that would take you to Briar Valley.

“Well,” you muttered as you glanced back one last time, “this story of mine took a weird turn.”

Lilia, still grinning like a fiend, chimed in. “Oh, just wait until the sequel.”

The last thing you heard as the carriage rolled away was the Hero Knight muttering in the distance, “I could’ve won that gargoyle…”

You smiled. Maybe the webnovel wasn’t such a disaster after all.

Ahh I hope y'all like this one, malleus is one of my favs and I had so much fun writing him.

The Kalim one is being edited because it's a little too somber for me and I wanna make it a little more fun and Azul one is almost fully edited too!

So, here's a poll for the one after these. (They'll all get a turn)

Series Masterlist ; Masterlist

[pomefioredove]

if its ok can i request a overblot boys and ruggie and kamil with a reader that just forgets to eat? like they can go the whole day without eating then suddenly they just get dizzy cause they haven't eaten and when they get asked why they passed out/not ate they're like "lol yeah i forgot to eat my bad gang🧍🏻" they're just so nonchalant and act like its whatever😭its ok if not if this makes you uncomfortable!! Love your blog pookie and make sure YOU eat properly💥💥

ahh... just like me fr. this ask actually reminded me to eat, thank you!

summary: reader who forgets to eat type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, ruggie, azul, jamil, kalim, vil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, mentions of food and not eating!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Riddle is also guilty of this

it's not that he's neglectful, it's just that...

...well... he's a little neglectful

it's usually Trey who has to remind him to take breaks from studying

none of that will stop him from scolding you, though

"What were you thinking, going a whole day without a meal? It's no wonder you're always so tired!"

expect lots of snacks from him after he's done berating you

he sends someone every day to make sure you've had something

(both a blessing and a curse)

you'll be in your room then suddenly Che'nya is there asking if you had lunch yet

and if not, you'll be recieving an invitation to Heartslabyul for tea

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Leona can't be bothered to ask why you're always so... out of it

he just assumes that's your personality

he even teases you for it, once or twice

then Jack offhandedly mentions that you rarely eat until dinner, and he gets all... worried

Ugh

suddenly, his room is always stocked with your favorite snacks from Sam's

what? no, they're not for you. he's just taken a liking to 'em. but you're welcome to have some if you'd like

his act is unconvincing

"What? Stop looking at me like that. I'm not some sap. I'm just making sure you don't go passing out on me,"

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Ruggie is worried that Crowley's cut your food rations

he'd been mooching off of you for a few months now, after all

plus, he knows what it's like to go hungry

of course, he doesn't outright ask. he doesn't want to embarrass you or anything

he just... casually offers to split meals and comes over once a week with half of his forage greens

"What, this? Nah, I just had extra. What, you're complaining about free food? Shishishi,"

you repay the gesture by making him a few meals, and it becomes a little tradition between the two of you

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

why, oh why, does Azul have to care about you so much?

he's become familiar that exact look on your face; distant, dizzy, disoriented...

and he's caught himself mid-scold far too many times

"Have you no sense of self-preservation? You can't keep relying on others to care for you; you'll only be taken advantage of,"

...and, of course, he's the poor soul who cares for you

he convinces himself that verbal reminders cost nothing

then he starts sending the tweels to make sure you've eaten

and then he insists you drop by the Mostro Lounge at least once a day

it's not that he's giving you his time and energy for free

he's just making an investment in you!

that's it. NOTHING ELSE! (<- lies)

(cue tweels giggling in the background)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

poor Jamil

first Kalim, and now he has you to worry about, too?

of course; he has no obligation to help. that's what he tells himself

nothing will happen if he just ignores you

...except that sinking feeling in his stomach

Sevens, help him...

he starts letting you help around the kitchen

just... tidying up, doing the dishes, etc

and if you happen to want a bite of what he's cooking? ohoho, who is he to deny you the chance to test for poison?

(feigns to mention that these dishes have already been tasted)

"Good? Why, I'm flattered. You're welcome to help any time- how about tomorrow?"

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Kalim will never pass a chance to host

you offhandedly mention that you forget to eat sometimes? just come over for breakfast!

and lunch

and dinner!

and you'll stay for dessert, too, won't you?

he's nothing if not gracious, and he has a penchant for taking care of others

he likes feeling useful, after all

just be ready to give him your full thoughts and feelings on every dish; he's already making a mental list of your favorites to serve every time you come over

"Hungry? No problem! We have all your faves waiting for you. What music do you want to listen to while we eat?"

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

you know that Vil loves you, right?

so, so much?

good. because that love makes him want to shake you

of all the stupid things...

it's no use trying to hide it from him; you could look and act completely normal and he'd still see right through you

he can just tell

he has to restrain himself from threatening Crowley into letting you stay at Pomefiore so he can care for you

Vil believes you're capable, after all. you just need a little push

"I've set a daily reminder and stocked your kitchen. Remember that some food is better than none. If you need me for anything, I'll see to it as soon as possible,"

you can expect Epel and Rook to ask if you've eaten, on his behalf, every time you run into each other

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Idia sets like, 30 reminders in your phone

he knows as well as you do that three measly alarms won't be enough

...he, too, is guilty of forgetting to eat

he probably makes you a custom alarm sound and everything

a little pavlovian conditioning never hurt anyone, right? it's basically no different than training an AI

...or something like that

will send Ortho over to check your vitals every once in a while

"it's NBD. can't have u losing all your lives on me. who would tolerate me then?"

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

thank your lucky stars it's Malleus who notices your drowsiness first and not Lilia

Malleus, at least, will find you something edible to eat

he's trying to keep you alive, after all

he's very sweet and gentle about it

soft little reminders, nudges to keep you awake... he will up and leave a dorm meeting if he realizes he doesn't know if you'd had anything yet today

Malleus is very conscious about human mortality, and is very... delicate about it

he's just a little overprotective, that's all

it mostly comes to sharing little treats together every now and then. it feels less awkward when you're together, after all

"There is no need to thank me. I'm simply happy to spend my time with you,"

[cheapshrimpysheep]

Cooking with Yuutsum

SUMMARY: Your tsum wants to go find some of the other tsums, but you end up finding Kalim’s and Azul's tsums together in the cafeteria kitchen. What's the problem? They both really like your tsum, and while Kalim-tsum can be quite affectionate, Azul-tsum can be a little... jealous.

CHARACTERS: Azul Ashengrotto, Azul’s tsum; Kalim Al-Asim, Kalim’s tsum (+Floyd Leech, Jamil Viper)

TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader

WORD COUNT: 1.040 words

COMMENTS: I got this idea while playing Twisted Tsumderland 3, more specifically the twistune with Idia’s, Vil’s and Malleus’s tsums. So yeah, maybe I'll do something like this with those three too.

(If I do I will update this post with the link.)

I hope you enjoy 😉

Your tsum was restless in Ramshackle Dorm and seemed to want to wander around the campus. Maybe it wanted to take a walk?

You take it in your arms and leave your dorm. You let it guide you and it ends up taking you to the cafeteria kitchen. But how did it know you would find other tsums there?

In the kitchen were Kalim, Jamil, Azul and Floyd, and with them Kalim’s and Azul's tsums.

The moment you walk in and see those two tsums, your tsum jumps from your arms to the floor making that happy tsum sound. Kalim-tsum does the same thing but instead of jumping to the floor it takes a big leap to land next to your tsum, but ends up throwing itself against it and the two roll together for a second. They get dizzy but quickly recover and Kalim-tsum starts to rub its cheek with your tsum's.

“Aww, how cute, they are such good friends already!” Kalim says with a big smile.

“Hm? What's up with this tsum?” Floyd asks about Azul's tsum. “It looks like it's shaking.”

And suddenly Azul-tsum throws itself at Kalim-tsum like a bullet, sending it flying across the kitchen into a pile of pots and pans, which causes a loud bang.

Everyone is startled! Kalim is worried about his tsum, Jamil goes into his usual panic mode, Azul himself is confused without knowing why his tsum did that and Floyd is laughing in amusement.

Meanwhile, Azul-tsum smiles with its eyes at your tsum, but your tsum gets angry and seems to start giving it a scolding. Which makes it shrink a little and become very sad.

You immediately went to Kalim-tsum and picked it up to see if it was okay. It looks at you and its eyes widen and shine. He snuggles up to you and tries to get close to your face to caress you as if nothing had happened before you picked it up.

“Oh, ha ha, it really likes you too. I'm glad.” Kalim says blushing a little.

After giving Azul-tsum a scolding, your tsum came to you to see if Kalim-tsum was okay too. But then you hear a strange, although cute, sound. You realize that the source of the sound is Azul-tsum and it seems to be... crying? Or throwing a little tantrum?

“HAHAHAHA It really is like Azul. HAHAHA”

“SHUT UP FLOYD!” Azul is blushing with embarrassment.

“Really?” Jamil whispers to himself with a mocking smile. “I wonder if it's because of the crying or the tantrum. Maybe both?”

Your tsum approaches Azul-tsum again, sighs and seems to give it a kiss on the cheek, or at least the equivalent of one since they don't have lips or a mouth. Azul-tsum stops squirming and your tsum rubs its cheek against Azul-tsum's. And suddenly Azul-tsum seems to become very needy towards your tsum, and practically sticks to it.

This makes Azul's blush even more intense.

Kalim-tsum jumps out of your arms and approaches your and Azul's tsums to press itself against Azul-tsum as if hugging it. Azul-tsum's expression looks sullen.

“I think it's saying it forgives Azul’s tsum.” Kalim says.

Azul’s and Kalim's Tsums were so close together that when your tsum jumped it was able to easily land on top of both of them, forming a pyramid of tsums.

“Ha ha ha! They’re doing the thing!” Floyd says.

And it seems that the two base tsums are more satisfied now. Both Kalim’s and Azul's tsum are smiling with their little eyes.

“I'm glad you seem to have sorted things out.” Jamil says to the tsums. “But you should still clean up the mess you made.” And points to the pots and pans scattered across the floor.

Azul ended up helping Jamil to get things back in order, after all, the main responsible for that was his tsum.

Your tsum wanted to help them cook. During the cooking, your and Kalim's tsums seemed to just want to have fun, while Azul's tsum, from time to time, seemed to want to impress your tsum.

And one of those times when it seemed a little too cocky, it ended up slipping off the table, but you managed to catch it before it fell to the floor. Azul-tsum looked at you and when you smiled at it its eyes lit up, but then it looked embarrassed and seemed to be trying to hide in your arms.

You put it down on the table again and your tsum approaches Azul-tsum to give it what looks like a kiss on the cheek. It smiles with his eyes while blushing a little. Azul himself is also blushing slightly in embarrassment.

While Azul's tsum seems to want to impress your tsum, Kalim's tsum seems to want to do anything and everything with your tsum. Basically the thing: the work is not for two, but it makes it for two. Or three because it also doesn't want Azul-tsum to feel left out.

When the time comes for them to part and go their separate ways, Azul’s Tsum struggles in Azul's arms at first, but soon calms down and just looks sad. While Kalim's Tsum appears to give your Tsum a kiss on the cheek and jump onto Kalim's shoulder while waving goodbye with its little arm.

“You'll have plenty of time to be with (Y/N)'s Tsum when you return to your world or dimension or wherever you come from.” Azul confides with his tsum. “In the meantime, we have work to do. And please don't embarrass me even more. What is going on with you?”

“Hey, I have an idea~” Floyd says with an amused smile. “Hey, Koebi-chan, why don't you and your tsum go to the Mostro Lounge later?”

Both Azul and his tsum knew what Floyd was doing, but neither was against the idea.

“You can also go to Scarabia in the meantime if you want.” Kalim invites you. “I want to take one last carpet ride with my tsum. I bet you and your tsum would enjoy it too.”

Jamil was worried for a moment, but then he remembered that it was you and your tsum they were talking about, so maybe he didn't need to worry that much.

More Twisted Tsumderland content:

Yuutsum 1 (Riddle; Cater; Leona; Jack; Floyd; Epel; Sebek)

Yuutsum 2 (Deuce; Azul; Jade; Kalim; Rook; Ortho; Lilia)

Yuutsum 3 (Ace; Trey; Ruggie; Jamil; Vil; Idia; Malleus; Silver)

If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX

[ihavetoomanyocsdealwithit]

Unexpected things you did that delight them:  

Riddle Rosehearts, Azul Ashengrotto, Trey Clover, Ruggie Bucci, Malleus Draconia

Content: Fluff

You learned proper tea etiquette for Riddle  

It starts out with you just listening to him correct others as they go throughout the various teatimes of Heartslabyul. How it leads to you thrifting a tea set from a local shop is hard to say, and it’s chipped a bit on the plates, but it holds, and the lady gave it to you for a far cheaper price than she should have. But it cleaned up beautifully, you filled in the cracks with some leftover clay and didn’t even have to repaint it! It was already in Ramshackle blue and green.  

It is embarrassing when he finds you quizzing yourself on the different spoons and plates, but the smile that blooms is worth it.  

You have no idea that when you invite him over for a tea party a few weeks after, it’s the first one that he hasn’t hosted himself. He borrows the same book from the library to brush up on his guest etiquette.  

“Prefect, what are you-ah! A lovely set. If you were needing to learn I would be happy to assist! What teas do you prefer? I will bring complimenting savories or sweets.”  

You carry glasses cleaner for Azul  

Assuming you don’t carry it already or if you don’t wear glasses. You and Azul usually spend a lot of time at Octavinelle but occasionally he will come to Ramshackle. He has since seen the work that you put into fixing up the place and the furniture you've built and appreciates it a way that the others can’t. Afterall, many of his own pieces are repaired or thrifted antiques for authenticity.

Lounging on the couch while listening to one of the jazz records he brought, you take the glasses from his hand when he realizes that he forgot his own cleaner.  

“Prefect, why would you have glasses wipes, you don’t wear any. Ah, you carry them for me. How thoughtful of you, my friend! I hope I’m not putting you out any.” 

You baked him a birthday cake for Trey  

Everyone gets nervous when Trey’s birthday comes around. How do you bake for a baker? He got past the disappointed feeling a long time ago though, perfectly prepared to make his own birthday cake.  

What isn’t accounted for you is pushing him out of the kitchen, declaring it against the rules for him to bake his own birthday cake. He could fight you on it, but he’s intrigued at this point on what you will make.  

What he doesn’t anticipate is a simple vanilla cake with a blueberry filling, a light buttercream frosting and candied violets and almonds scattered on the top. It’s simple but delicious and clearly just for him.

“You’ve got some real potential here. Where did you learn to make candied violets? You foraged and learned how just for me? Ah, that was too much for me. Thank you.”  

You clean Ruggie’s ears 

Ruggie does a lot of things to ensure everybody else gets taken care of, which means sometimes he neglects himself a bit. The showers got trashed over at Savanaclaw so he asks to use yours after a particularly messy Spelldrive Practice. As long as Grim can play with the disk in the backyard with the ghosts, it’s a deal for you.  

He comes out fluffy, hair sticking out in all sorts of places, which means you can see inside his ears and see the dirt still stuck in there. Offering to clean them wasn’t a big deal to you, you have to for Grim all the time.  

It gets awkward for a minute when he lays his head in your lap, but as soon as the cotton hits the inside and starts wiping up all the dirt and grim, he’s putty in your hands  

“I swear they weren’t that bad but-oh. Oh that’s nice. I think I can hear colors now. And your heartbeat. What’s got you racing, huh? I didn’t moo. I did not!” 

You got pictures of his family for Malleus  

This man has pictures of himself and his parents up on the walls, but none of the rest of his family. So, you work with the ghost for a long time, getting candid shots and other bit and pieces and slowly pulling them together. When Malleus’s birthday rolls around, you actually feel nervous about it.  

When he opens his present, to see the photo album, he gets unexpectedly quiet and soft, scanning through the quotes and stories written off to the side. You give little tidbits of how you get some shots, especially the times where you were sure that Lilia knew but didn’t say anything.  

Some even had him! Silver putting him in a headlock during some play wrestling, Lilia tapping his nose while playing chess, a rare moment of him and Sebek reading together where the half fae is actually relaxed.  

At the bottom are small, framed photos of what you thought were the best ones. Silver in his armor, surrounded by animals and birds alike, his sword gleaming with sunlight, looking gentle and graceful and alert. Sebek on horseback, wind streaking his hair to his skull and grinning like a madman, his favorite stead racing fearlessly. Lilia leaning against the railing of the balcony of Diasomnia dorm and watching the sunset, eyes fond and pink in the dying light. 

“I can’t think of a single present I have ever received that has been as thoughtful as this one. Your heart truly knows a kindness that is rare, my friend. But you are missing. Let us take one together. A selfie, yes?”  

[ryebread0605]

HAIIII can i request the first years with a yuu/reader who has lifeless eyes?

Ooo ok this’ll be fun! As someone who has rbf/lifeless eyes, i can kinda pull from experience here! I hope you like!

(Characters: Ace, Deuce, Jack, Epel, Sebek, Ortho)

tries to mess with you at first, but gets put off by the fact that you just don’t seem to react much 

Pouts about it and complains that you’re ’no fun’ 

When he sees you laugh for once but still have the lifeless type look in your eyes, he’s confused and weirded out at first 

Asks you about it and things start to click when you explain you’ve always kinda had that

Now refers to you as stone due to your ‘stone cold demeanor’

“Hey stone! Might want to smile a bit or the other students are gonna think you want to kill them or something! Wha- hey! Don’t look at me like you want to kill *me*!”

is nervous he did something to piss you off whenever you look at him 

Is the first one to ask what’s up with your face before quickly realizing how rude that is to say 

Is relieved when you laugh and explain that your eyes have always just kinda looked lifeless

He jokes that if looks could kill, you’d have murdered almost all the students at NRC

Still will ask daily if you’re ok out of habit

“Hey (y/n), you having a good day today? I know I ask every day but I can never tell with you! Shit- that came out wrong”

rbf vs rbf

Neither of you realize how intimidating you look to others until you see each other 

Instant bond commences over being seen as ‘rude’ by everyone 

He makes you feel seen and you two are seen as unapproachable despite both being super sweet once people get to know you 

I know Ruggie isn’t included here BUT you two become his unofficial bodyguards because I say so 

“I don’t get it (y/n), how do *we* get seen as intimidating but someone like *ruggie* is disregarded?!”

was ready to pick a fight with you the *second* he saw that RBF 

Backed down immediately when he realized you were actually sweet and just happened to have RBF 

Is completely shocked the first time he sees you laugh, he seriously didn’t think you were capable of that

Feels like he can be himself and drop the fake sweet accent around you 

“Honestly hangin out with ya is way better than being watched by tha others (y/n)!”

poor robo boy doesn’t understand why you look mean 

BUT he does not care about Idia telling him you could be mean and is determined to talk to you 

Quickly discovers how kind and caring you are and is thrilled to tell Idia (who straight up does not believe him) 

Is curious about how you can be happy but still look lifeless/bored

“Would you mind if I took notes on this (y/n)? I’ve never encountered something like this before”

oh he is big mad when he sees your RBF looking at Malleus 

Prepare for an hour long lecture on being rude towards Malleus

That is until Lilia cuts him off and explains that some people just.. look like that

Cue embarrassment

He’s not a huge fan of your RBF but slowly warms up to it overtime (even though he’ll never admit it) 

The biggest praise he’ll give you is that your lifeless/stoic nature would make you a good guard

“(Y/n), if you’re going to look so stoic at least put it to good use protecting master Malleus!”

[twistedwonderlandimaginesblog]

Differnt anon but i love the swimsuit top falling off imagine, can we see it with Cater, Vil, Rook, Malleus and Lilia please?

Cater Diamond:

Cater had been mid beach selfie, striking a cute pose when he heard your cry of shock. His head whipped around and he became pink up to his ears, whipping his head the other way just to meet the prying eyes of others on the beach. He’s struggling to come up with a plan but finally points in a direction and gasps, yelling out a random influencers name and hoping their follower count was legit enough that they’d be known by the general public. It worked well enough that you were no longer the center of attention, an excited crowd forming and looking for the rare celebrity sighting while Cater rushed over to you. The crisis had been averted as you found your top, mumbling you’d just be lounging on the blanket the rest of the time. Later, when he’s sorting through his photos, he’s reminded of the moment as he caught the exact moment your top fell off, his face growing red as he hurriedly deleted the picture.

Lilia Vanrouge:

Lilia is no stranger to accidental nudity, these old eyes have seen some things in his many years on this planet, and it doesn’t leave him feeling any specific type of way. He can see that you don’t share the philosophy of ‘oh well’ when something embarrassing happens and does his best to save you, summoning a sudden wave that crashes onto shore and almost washes away some of the beach gear the gawkers had left unattended while ogling. He walked up to you with your top in hand, humming as he did; he held up a towel to cover you while you put your top back on, chuckling as he commented he knew the day would be interesting when you asked to spend it together.

Malleus Draconia:

The storm clouds that appear just as you’re kneeling on the ground, desperately searching for your top before others start pointing you out, was a blessing in disguise. Most beach-goers are too shocked by the sudden change of weather to pay you any mind and it leaves you with plenty of time to find your top, which Malleus casually stepped over to help you with. You feel embarrassed again because a prince of all people was witnessing you in such a state, but Malleus paid it no mind, seeming more protective than judgmental in the moment. You don’t catch any hint that he was the cause behind the storm, the clouds clearing away as he helped you tie your top back on and asked if you were ready to continue your stroll in a more secluded place along the beach.

Rook Hunt:

Rook had seen the unraveling as it begun, but you had not heeded his warnings of the top not being tied securely as every time you tugged it seemed to stay in place. He kept a diligent eye on you, not like there was anything else as striking as you on this beach regardless, but he does find himself failing in his duty when you point out a group of dolphins frolicking close to shore. When he hears your gasp he already knew what happened, his brain calculating in mere seconds that the disastrous future he had predicted had come to be. With a swift movement he removes the towel from your bag he’d been carrying, holding it over your chest and requesting just a moment to allow him to find the harbinger of chaos that was your swimsuit top.

Vil Schoenheit:

This was the issue with fashion these days. There was no practicality even in swimsuits, and while Vil lacked a real opinion on most beach outfits, he found yours seemed flimsier than most. It wasn’t quite a warning but he was unsurprised to see the top had pulled loose and left you in the middle of the beach, covering your chest and frantically looking around for your top before your humiliation limit was reached. He knew you’d rather be buried in the sand but he snapped his fingers to draw your attention, telling you to stay calm as it would attract less attention that way. He walked around you and finally found it half-buried in the sand, scolding you as your panic had nearly buried the only thing that would stop the staring. He suggested a nice cover-up next time, just to have a back-up plan should a swimsuit fail you again.

[kiyo-cant-write]

Sebek and Silver with a strong s/o ✧･ﾟ

Summary: These headcanons are for Silver and Sebek Zigvolt with a physically strong s/o who is able to lift them into the air and carry them around in their arms.

TW/CW: None

Notes: established relationship, they/them pronouns for reader, gender neutral reader, the reader is assumed to be smaller than Silver/Sebek

.

.

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✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

Silver

Silver was floored initially.

How is his s/o SO STRONG?

He has been training since childhood and they just... lift him.

Silver is confused about how someone smaller can do such a thing.

He is also amazed, however, and... Ultimately, he likes it.

It eases his worries that his lover can find him and carry him to wherever he needs to be if he passes out against his will.

At first, he found it a bit emasculating but he's over that now.

The reason he is over it is that Lilia pointed out his own height.

Silver ended up apologizing for dishonoring his father.

Silver's s/o got to hear about this the day after.

Silver asks his s/o if they would consider training with him.

If they accept, they get to see a new side to Silver.

They also unlock a new era of their relationship called "Lilia is my father-in-law AND my teacher woohoo!"

Silver opened his eyes to see the world moving by him much more quickly than anticipated. Hadn't he been in the courtyard? Why was he looking up at the sky? Why were the clouds moving so fast? It was a bit jarring if the light-haired boy was being honest about it.

"Wh...?"

"Oh! Good! You're awake!" [Name]'s voice could be heard from...

...Above him?

He looked down and sure enough, there was his lovely partner. They were holding him bridal style as they walked (at a fairly good pace). Where were they headed? Was he awake right now? He felt sluggish.

"[Name]...?" it left Silver's lips slowly, "Wh... What are you doing?"

"Taking you to class, silly!" [Name] told him, laughing softly.

"Oh..."

[Name] was headed toward his next class. Silver wasn't sure what his next class was but he was probably late for it. Sebek would not like that.

Father may or may not care but Sebek would never let him hear the end of it. He might even insist on Silver being punished for dishonoring their master. Silver wanted to sigh at just the thought of it.

"Thank you..." Silver told them, face dusted with a soft pink, "Uhm. This is helpful... If not a tad, er, embarrassing..."

They giggled at his wording.

"I don't mind helping you out, Sil," they told him, "And, is it? I think you're cute like this."

They were being a bit too honest for Silver to handle, his face turned a bit redder at the comment. People didn't often carry him. It wasn't something that should happen to guards for Prince Malleus, his master. And it had been years since his father last carried him anywhere. He was no longer a child.

And... being called cute was different when it came from [Name] and not his father or Prince Malleus (when he was younger).

"I, ah... Thank you."

Those were the words Silver settled on as they headed to his class together.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

Sebek Zigvolt

Sebek is startled and a bit offended the first time it happens.

His s/o, his TINY LOVER, lifts HIM into the air.

He screams and gets detention from Professor Trein.

The second, third, and fourth times it happens are no better.

Each time, he yells in startlement and thinks there is danger afoot.

The only reason s/o doesn't get clocked is because they are s/o.

WHAT IF HE HURT THEM?? NEVER!

By the sixth or seventh time, he starts to get used to it.

Sebek starts to expect his s/o to pick him up if he makes a fuss.

Sometimes, he will make a fuss so they showcase their strength, the pride he feels for their existence outweighing the show of weakness in front of others.

In the end, he's fine with it, but he still shouts in a typical Sebek fashion that he wishes to be put down.

His s/o understands that he doesn't mean it and sometimes makes a mad dash across campus with Sebek in their arms.

Lilia is the one who asks if you want to train with them sometime.

Sebek is gleaming with pride at the fact that his s/o was acknowledged by his teacher, THE Lilia Vanrouge.

Sebek was yelling down at his partner as they carried him across the courtyard of Night Raven College. Despite this, [Name] did not stop running. In fact, they did not seem to mind one bit. It was quite fitting for someone who had chosen Sebek as their lover.

"PUT ME DOWN, [NAME]! I WILL BE LATE FOR MALLEUS-SAMA'S APPOINTMENT!" Sebek called to them, not caring that his volume was attracting attention from other students.

"You'll be fine, I can get you there!" [Name] told him, switching directions to head toward the Mirror Chamber, "You'll be there early!"

As they turned, Sebek did not even pause his yelling as his body flew around like a tower in the washing machine before settling back in the strange upright position his lover was carrying him in.

"WE HAD BETTER NOT BE LATE! WE CANNOT DISHONOR MALLEUS-SAMA!" Sebek continued.

[Name] just laughed at his statements as they headed toward his destination. It was kind of fun to be transportation for Sebek, the looks it earned from peers and upperclassmen alike was hilarious.

As long as they didn't crash into anyone, it should be fine!

"ONWARD, [NAME]!"

"I thought you didn't like this, Sebek?" they teased.

"I DO NOT! I SIMPLY WISH TO GET TO MALLEUS-SAMA."

"Sure, sure."

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

Thank you for reading! Likes and reblogs are appreciated! Do NOT repost my writing/headcanons as your own >:c Check the top of my blog for the inbox status and read the rules before requesting. This is not a twst-only blog! ^^

[merakiui]

The idea of someone fucking you to prep you for another guys absolute monster of a dick makes me drool

they know it’s going to be a very. Tight. Fit. So they’ll need to be a bit rough prepping you I’m sure you understand 💖

jamil and ace prepping you for Floyd…

Lilia prepping you for malleus…

deuce prepping you for Jack…

ect

👁️ 👁️ LILIA PREPPING YOU FOR MALLEUS……… only peepaw could get away with giving Briar Valley’s crown prince his sloppy seconds,,, omg…

But it makes the most sense! He’s experienced and knows his way around all kinds of bodies. He’s very gentle with you, which you weren’t exactly expecting, but maybe you should’ve since this is all preparation for something much bigger. Of course he still teases you, enjoying the way your body jolts in response to his every touch, the way you sink back into the sheets in embarrassment when you let your voice out. He tells you not to worry. You should be more vocal about your pleasure. There’s nothing shameful about that.

Lilia plays you like you’re an instrument, plucking at your most sensitive places, his mouth at your neck. He won’t leave any marks. Oh, the glare Malleus would subject him to if he did! he’ll joke, but you don’t miss the way the sharpened points of his fangs playfully scrape your pulse. Even though it’s dark and the glow of the moon peering in through the cut in the curtains is your only light source, Lilia seems to navigate your body startlingly well in the shadows. But then of course he would since he’s a nocturnal fae. The darkness is his dominion.

Lilia talks you through it all, grounding you just before you can float off into fantasy and unravel from simple ministrations. “Malleus is much like yourself,” he says softly, his tone oddly tender as he positions himself above you. You don’t feel trapped, though. “But you needn’t fret. Inexperience is endearing in a way. I’m certain he’ll make up for his lack of technique with just as much, if not more, passion. Though I’m sure he’ll pout something awful if you aren’t pleased the first go-around. Do be gentle with him. Oh, but not too gentle.” He giggles like it’s particularly funny, but you suspect the rainstorm that will brew in the wake of Malleus’s displeasure will be anything but comedic.

Lilia is slow and sweet. It’s not really sex, even though that’s quite literally what it is. It feels more like lovemaking, though. You think there’s way more to Lilia than what he is now, fucking into you in syrupy strokes so you can properly adjust. He checks in periodically, asking if you’re all right, how it feels, if you’d prefer to change positions. You feel like he’s playing the role of chaperone instead of bed partner, but then you’re grateful for his assistance and care. You ask him if he’ll touch you and his hands slither to meet you halfway in the darkness, where you’re arching up towards him. He seems to know each of your pleasure points, and he takes turns with each one to see which elicits the reediest of moans.

He won’t cum inside. Rather, he’ll work you up to climax and then deny himself that same pleasure. You’re still coming down from the high, and maybe some sort of spell’s been cast because in that moment you almost ask him to kiss you, to finish inside, to give himself all of the things he’s denied.

You won’t. You shouldn’t. So instead you thank him for his help as he tends to you, and there’s that same soft voice. It lulls you to sleep; you think you remember him say something about the importance of aftercare and what that looks and feels like as he demonstrates just that like it’s second nature, but you’re already nodding off. It’s a little cheesy, but you finally understand what it’s like to be wrapped up in Lilia. It’s fleeting and warm but always kept at a distance. He’s just like a dream.

[crheativity]

Hello there! I came across your blog and enjoyed reading your post about the Overblot Squad Plushie Parts. I was wondering if you would consider writing a Part 3 where the Squad discovers that their plushies have been stolen. It turns out that the culprits are their Vice Dorm Wardens - either Kalim (since Jamil is Vice Dorm Warden) or Ace (since Trey wouldn't do that). I'm curious to know how the Overblot Boys would react to this situation. Have a pleasant day/night!

SUMMARY: Someone took the Overblot Squad’s plushies! How do they react?

WARNINGS: T*cked in Riddle’s section, sorry if Malleus’ wasn’t that good, writing his was really tricky.

COMMENTS: Hehehehe as soon as I read this my immediate reaction was “oh they’re screwed.” 

Part one - Prefect making the Overblot Squad plushies of their respective Seven member - can be found here. Part two - Prefect making the plushies clothes and accessories - can be found here.

He. Is. Ticked. ALL of Heartslabyul is on lockdown until he finds whichever culprit was bold enough to steal something from him! And stealing something that his beloved made from him? Heads are going to roll.

Riddle literally stops people from leaving Heartslabyul and searches every room himself. He, unsurprisingly, finds plenty of contraband, but doesn’t find his beloved plushy anywhere. He’s almost in tears. He really doesn’t want to tell you he lost it, but all hope seems to be lost-

That is, until Ace hands back the plushy with a sheepish apology. He explains that he had to drop something off in Riddle’s room and accidentally knocked the toy into the trash can. He stole it to clean it and was gonna sneak it back. He didn’t think Riddle would notice that quickly!

Ace still loses his head, but only for a week instead of a month, since he had good intentions. Riddle remains snippy at Ace for months afterwards, though.

Walking into his room, Leona realises that something is wrong. You - or at least, the plush you made for him - is missing. He spends around an hour searching his room for it and ends up being extremely irritated when all traces of it are gone. He doesn’t want to admit to his dorm members that he actually misses it, so he tries to sleep without it for a couple of days.

This makes him even more irritated.

Eventually, he wears himself down enough to ask Ruggie what had happened to it. Ruggie groans and explains that the smell of you coming from the plush and accessories was waaay too much for any normal beastman, and that he (along with other Savannaclaw members) had gotten fed up with it and hidden them.

Leona offers Ruggie 2,000 thaumarks to return them. Ruggie doesn’t think twice. 

Azul is sobbing ALL DAY. He is INCONSOLABLE. Octavinelle is getting embarrassed at the fact that their dorm leader - the best and brightest among them - is an uncontrollable mess over the fact that his toy is missing. But what can he do? That’s his best friend, gone! He’s looked everywhere and he can’t find it! What will his Angelfish say? He can’t bear to imagine the look on your face when he tells you he lost it!

He literally pays people to help him find the toy, yet no matter how much money he throws at them and no matter how hard they look, it’s just gone. It’s almost like someone stole it… no, he can’t think like that. If someone really did steal it, he’d probably never get it back! He just wants to hide in an octopus pot.

The Tweels are torn between thinking it’s hilarious and wanting Azul to shut up already. Eventually, Jade returns the plush, explaining that he thought it was fascinating and wanted to study it closer, yet didn’t think Azul would agree. (He also wanted to see Azul’s reaction to his favourite plushy being missing.) Azul is in TEARS of RELIEF and hugging that plushy. He refuses to let it out of his sight anymore. It will go with him (almost) everywhere. Floyd thinks the whole situation is hilarious and will NOT stop teasing him about it.

Jamil at first doesn’t seem like he’s phased. However, those who know him notice the ticks; the muscles in his face twitching with annoyance whenever he’s asked to do anything and the sarcastic comments he often thinks and not says become mutters under his breath instead. He becomes a lot more aggressive in his tasks - forgoing the typical, painstaking care he usually takes for finishing his tasks quickly and shutting everyone out.

He remains this way for several days. People start to get vibes from him and avoid him, which annoys him even more. He just can’t get it out of his head. Why is he so annoyed? Is it because every time he thinks of the missing doll, he thinks of you, upset at him for losing it (whether you actually are or not)? …maybe. He won’t let himself admit it either way. 

A couple of days later, Jamil finds the doll - sitting on Kalim’s bed. He’s immediately interrogating Kalim. Kalim happily explains that in trying to help out Jamil, he decided to try and help clean his room. He knows that the doll means a lot to Jamil, so he wanted to get it cleaned for him! Jamil appreciates it but he’s also this close to losing his temper. Please, just, next time, tell him first, okay? sheesh.

Vil is going to lose his mind. His doll has gone missing. He cannot find it anywhere. He’s already torn apart his room at least three times and called every single studio he’s done a photoshoot in or acted for in the past two months, asking if anyone had seen it. Yet no traces have been found. He has a headache. 

On top of that, Rook has been acting particularly frustrating recently - constantly checking up on his mood and popping out of the most random places. It’s almost as though the universe has coordinated this on purpose.

Wait.

Upon confronting Rook, Vil finds out that his theory was correct; Rook did in fact steal the plush. Apparently, he’d “wanted to see the beauty of Vil’s yearning for the precious thing his beloved made for him,” and so he’d hidden it for a while. Vil’s this close to shaking him by the shoulders, but at least he’s got the plush back.

Pookie? Pookie is missing! Uh oh, that ain’t good. He’s gotta find him, quick. The gacha banners are about to change and he already pre-farmed the mats needed for the character he wants. How’s he supposed to hit those 0.6% odds while without the Little Guy?

He’s tearing apart his room, trying to find the skrunkly before server reset. There’s no way he would’ve taken the toy outside to touch grass, right??? So it’s gotta be in here. Except it’s nowhere to be found. 

He’s about to give in to some totally cringe behaviour - going and looking for it outside - when Ortho shows up, holding the marketable plushie. Idia is snatching it from Ortho and spinning it around the room before flopping on his bed, before realising how cringe he just was. At least he can do his gacha rolls now?

(Ortho’s really confused. He just took it to wash. Did he do something wrong-? Oh well, as long as his brother’s happy now)

As soon as Malleus discovers the plush toy is missing, the rain starts. As he continues to look and ask around for it and doesn’t find it, the rain gets worse. Eventually, NRC has a full-blown hurricane on its hands. 

The weather stays like this for a good two days. Classes have been cancelled as asking students to walk across campus in that much of a downpour would lead to a school-wide riot. And Malleus is still sulking in the corner about his missing plushie.

That is, until a sheepish Lilia surprises Malleus with the plush. He explains that it must’ve fallen in with the laundry and gone through the wash. Since the weather has been so erratic lately, it had to go through the dryer too rather than be dried by the sun, which is why no one noticed where it was for so long.

The rain instantly clears. Malleus hugs his plush and decides to take her to visit you. All is right in the world again. 

♥Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it!!♥

[dior-luxury]

Hi! Can I ask for part two for the ask "a new person came to NRC and catches the eyes of Y/n and makes the characters get jealous" with Jade, Idia, Vil and Malleus

A New Person Catches Their S/O's Attention

Part 1

( ✧ ) ────── 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢��𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 . 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚 - 𝐧𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬 .

- [𝐜𝐡.] jade leech .idia shroud . vil schoenheit . malleus draconia - [𝐩:𝐬] mentions of making out [Malleus] . possessiveness ..

#Jade Leech

He of course hates it. The feeling of the tightness in one's chest, the need for peace to be resolved. The utter feelings of jealousy are not a foreign one of his. Seeing your beautiful eyes wander away from him- and onto a brand new specimen.

Jade views this as competition, he aches for this new student to be gone. It gets even worse if he were to see you two talking. Though this whole ideal is frustrating... he can't help but chuckle. So this is the familiar jealousy that is seen in all of those teen dramas? Hilarious.

Jade seriously can't forgive himself for being this weak, but for you, he'll keep wearing a smile while you and the new student talk.

It was exactly when period 2 was going to end. You and the new kid were talking to each other since you both had a project for ELA that you both had to make up. As you both were getting ready to leave the classroom, you were then stopped as you noticed Jade walking inside the classroom.

He had a nice smile as he walked to you and the new kid. Jade then stood looking directly at the student with jealous eyes. "Hello, I'm Jade Leech. I have come to inform you that you'll no longer be working with Y/N-san." The students' face morph into confusion and annoyance.

"What do you exactly mean-... Jade-Senpai?" The students' questions with a dramatic sigh at the end. Jade's eyes then narrow as he looks down at the student, partly figuring out what to say as his excuse for this students’ persistence. Jade exhales dramatically as he continues to show this new student that he's not a spineless person.

"Trein-Sensei has made a mistake with the partner arrangements... Yes, I know he said them himself but we all make mistakes. It's proven. See? These are the list of names that he was reading off when he announced the partners." Jade says in a fake disappointed tone as he holds up a piece of paper in front of you and the new student.

Jade chuckles inside as he looks at the students' shocked and embarrassed face. And then watches as the student grabs his stuff and goes to look for his partner instead. You look at Jade confused, but not surprised. He chuckles evilly to himself as he smiles, "Now then- shall we go to your dorm to start our project, Y/N-Chan?"

#Idia Shroud

This introvert feels nothing but ick. He stares at the new student with disgust and jealousy. It's too embarrassing to go through this! Idia can't help but want to go up to his newly found rival and tell him to find his own waifu.

But of course, Idia is an introvert and curses himself for this. Especially for times like this. While you and the new student are talking, he's too busy making a plan for your attention to get off of the new student. Oh, how he just wishes that you weren't the main character.

He's lost in his own thoughts of jealousy and envy. Trying to make it not so obvious that he's staring daggers at the unknowing student. Comparing this whole scenario to one in an anime. Idia then gets an idea and grins evilly.

But then later as you and the new student are hanging out at lunch, in the corner of your eye you see Idia nervously walking towards the both of you. The student notices you staring at something and frowns. Idia then stands next to you and fidgets with his fingers.

"Y/N-Shi... D-Do you want to play this new game with me?..." Idia voices quietly, but enough for you to hear. You chuckle to yourself as you then nod. Meanwhile the new student pouts, "Y/N-Senpai...~ Aren't we supposed to study for Crewel-Sensei's new test together?"

The new student voices as they then pout while looking at you. Idia is taken aback and annoyed, did you not tell this new student that you two were dating? He's on the brink of his hair turning orange here. Idia groans and mutters to himself, "Seriously?..."

It seems like they both want your attention.

You then sigh and look at the new student, tired. "Sorry about this '(Student)'-kun, but we'll have to push our study sesh' later, okay? I barely get to hang out with my boyfriend anymore. You understand it right?"

Both Idia and the new students' eyes were surprised at your sudden bold move of calling Idia your boyfriend. Idia slightly smiles to himself as he looks at you lovingly in his burning yellow eyes. Finally feeling like he won the battle of being jealous.

The new student sighs disappointingly as he then backs off, looking at the table in defeat. Idia then puts his sleeves over his mouth as he looks at you, "You didn't have to go all out you know... you hurt the guys' ego." He mutters to you, ending with a chuckle at the end.

You shrug as you whisper to him, "It was going to happen either way," You say bluntly as Idia can't help but try to contain his smile after your display of bluntness. "Now what game was it that you wanted us to play together?" You then announce.

#Vil Scheonheit

Jealousy... What an ugly emotion. Vil knows the feeling and the description of jealousy all too well. It's one of his most common emotions in fact. He had feuds all of his life. Whether that'll be with a co-worker, fellow students, film directors, or even a certain someone.

Vil though is extremely blunt with his own jealousy. His mind is basically planning to make everyone in the whole room know that he is jealous. Though he can't exactly blame you for being interested in a new person, that's how he met you after all.

But it's just this new student that strikes a nerve with him. The way that you two look at each other... the way that the student looks at you... it's annoying. Vil feels too embarrassed to talk about this to anyone, except to anyone but Rook.

Vil rants on and on about this newfound drama about you and this new student during his one-on-one time with Rook in every Alchemy class. Telling Rook that this new student is stealing you away from him explaining everything dramatically.

"Roi du Poison... I never saw you so stressed before that time at the VDC. You need to calm down before you get wrinkles." Rook then explains to Vil, but it is to no avail because Vil is on his last straw. It has been only 3 days and Vil was already putting that new student on his watch-list.

"I have no idea what to do Rook, Y/N hasn't even complimented me on my new choice of makeup today. That new student is taking all of their attention away from me." Vil glares at Rook as he tightens his hand around the bottle of chemicals that he is holding.

"How is it fair that Y/N finds that new student more interesting than me? They're plain. Their hair, fashion, and don't even get me started on the monstrosity that they call their own makeup." Vil complains with his eyes full of rage, not even realizing how hard he is holding onto the bottle of chemicals.

Rook's eyes widen at the sudden interruption of Vil's thoughts, as his face shifts into worry. "Vil, please. I think you might be overthinking this." Vil then glares at Rook as he takes the bottle of chemicals away from his gloved hands. But it's just then that Vil suddenly gets an idea.

"That's it... I'll have to get Y/N to ignore that new student! Putting a simple spell on that new student- haha~ This is the best idea I've had in a while~~" Vil laughs to himself as Rook looks at him, confused and not surprised.

"Roi du Poison, I know you think this is a good idea to talk about this- but our classwork may be more important right now. We wouldn't want it exploding would we?" Rook sighs as he then smiles at Vil and puts his hands on his hips.

"Now if you could please, Roi du Poison- hand over the vial on the shelf so this potion doesn't explode everywhere. Ruining your hair and makeup." And with a swift motion- Vil then rushes gracefully and grabs the vile.

#Malleus Draconia

The one and only most possessive dragon that there is at NRC. He would have never known about this new student, but since he is a Dormleader Lilia has told him about it during lounge hours. It intrigued him, a new student? In the middle of a school year? He never knew that late registrations were a thing at NRC.

He smiled to himself as he asked for details from Lilia, wondering if this new student was going to be in his dorm. To which Lilia responded by saying that they weren't, and instead they were going to be in Ramshackles'.

His eyes widened in surprise as he wondered if you already met this student. Malleus then went back to drinking his tea as he walked to his dorm room. Moments later when Malleus was minding his own business reading a book in his chair by a window, Sebek suddenly burst through the door.

Malleus glances at Sebek from his book, slightly annoyed, and speaks up. "What is it, Sebek?" He says calmly, furrowing his brows at Sebek's scared face. Sebek tries to catch his breath as he puts his hands on his knees. "Young Master! I have some bad news!" Sebek shouted as loud as thunder, causing crows to leave their trees.

Malleus raises one of his eyebrows as he then shuts his book, placing it on his lap. "What is it, Sebek? I trust that it is something urgent this time. Otherwise, you'll have to report this to Lilia." As Malleus's eyes drift back to opening his book, Sebek then suddenly yells very loudly.

"Young Master! I have come to inform you that your... partner- Y/N has found interest in someone else! This is urgent!" Malleus' eyes are suddenly shot open by this bold statement, but before he can say anything he is interrupted by his own thoughts about whether Sebek was truly telling the truth.

"If you pardon me, Sebek," Malleus said as he closed his eyes, getting up from his chair and walking out of his room, and downstairs to the entrance of Diasomnia.

It was then exactly 9 p.m. You and the new student were studying in the lounge area when you both suddenly heard a knock. You then get up from your seat on the couch as you walk to the door. The new student watched the door open cautiously from his seat.

Once you open the door you see a disappointed Malleus, he frowns at you as he looks over to the open door to the lounge. His eyes widen as he glares at the new student then changes his stare back to you. "Child of man... If I may ask, are you cheating on me?" Malleus' normal face slowly turns back into a frown as he looks at you.

"Huh? No, of course not." You say bluntly as you look up at Malleus and smile. Even though Malleus wasn't buying it so much, he could tell you weren't doing anything like cheating based on your voice. Malleus then sighs and retreats his gloomy and slightly angered attitude.

"That's good to hear... I was afraid for once that Sebek was saying something true." Malleus then slightly smiles and laughs to himself. The new student looks over at the two of you confused, "Y/N?? Are you good?" You look back at the new student as you then turn to Malleus.

"Think that's my cue. I'll send you a letter later, okay?" You rush as you then wave and try to close the door. But instead, Malleus then holds the door open. "Malleus?" You question with your head tilted as you get interrupted suddenly by a fast grab at your hand. Before you could even say anything you felt Malleus press his lips against yours.

[astro-stars]

can your horns be used as handles (TWST

The dimly lit, atmospheric common room of Diasomnia was alive with the faint crackle of a magical fireplace. Yuu sat at a table strewn with notes, quills, and books, working diligently on a project with Sebek. Well, Sebek was working diligently, his handwriting precise and his focus unwavering. Yuu, on the other hand, was half-distracted, their mind wandering as they stared at the intricate patterns of the dorm’s decor.

It wasn’t until Malleus entered the room, his regal presence as commanding as ever, that Yuu’s thoughts crystallized into a single, burning question that had been lingering in their mind for weeks. They glanced at Sebek, who was muttering about the importance of proper formatting, and then at Malleus, who had taken a seat on the nearby couch with Lilia and Silver.

Without thinking, Yuu blurted out, “Hey, Malleus, can you feel your horns?”

The room went silent. Sebek froze mid-sentence, his quill poised in the air as if someone had just declared open war on the Thorn Fairy herself. Lilia’s lips curled into an amused smile, while Silver blinked slowly, clearly trying to process the sudden shift in conversation. Malleus, for his part, tilted his head slightly, his expression one of mild curiosity.

“My horns?” Malleus repeated, his deep voice tinged with intrigue. “What an unusual question, child of man. May I ask what brought this to mind?”

Yuu flushed but pressed on, their curiosity outweighing their embarrassment. “I’ve just been wondering. Like, are they sensitive? Can you feel them the same way you feel your hands or something?”

Sebek’s face turned an alarming shade of red. “HUMAN! How dare you ask such a personal question of the Young Master?!” he bellowed, his voice reverberating through the room. “Have you no sense of propriety?!”

“It’s fine, Sebek,” Malleus said calmly, raising a hand to silence him. “I find the question rather intriguing.” He turned his attention back to Yuu, his emerald eyes gleaming. “To answer your question: Yes, I can feel my horns, though not in the same way I feel my hands. They are part of me, but their sensitivity is… limited, shall we say.”

“Huh,” Yuu said, nodding thoughtfully. “That’s kind of cool. So, theoretically, if someone were to, I don’t know, use them as handles, would that… bother you?”

The silence that followed was deafening. Sebek looked like he was about to faint from sheer outrage, while Lilia burst into laughter, his voice ringing out like bells. Silver sighed, rubbing his temples, as if wondering why he even bothered to stay awake for these conversations.

Malleus blinked, his expression unreadable for a moment before his lips quirked into a faint smile. “Handles, you say?”

“Yuu!” Sebek shouted, his voice cracking. “That is utterly disgraceful! Apologize to the Young Master at once!”

Lilia wiped a tear from his eye, still chuckling. “Oh, Yuu, you truly are a delight. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Sebek this close to imploding.”

“I’m just curious!” Yuu defended, throwing up their hands. “It’s not like I’m actually going to try it or anything. I just… wondered.”

Malleus regarded Yuu for a moment longer before nodding slowly. “I see no harm in curiosity, as long as it remains respectful. However, I would advise against using my horns as… handles, as you put it. They are still a part of me, after all.”

“Fair enough,” Yuu said, grinning sheepishly. “Thanks for answering, though. I’ve been wondering about that for a while.”

Sebek groaned, burying his face in his hands. “Why does the Young Master tolerate this insolence?!”

Silver patted Sebek on the shoulder, his voice calm. “Relax. It’s not worth losing sleep over.”

Lilia leaned back in his seat, clearly enjoying the chaos. “Well, this has certainly been the most entertaining study session I’ve witnessed in years. Carry on, Yuu. You make life in Diasomnia much more lively.”

Yuu laughed nervously, returning to their project. They made a mental note to think twice before letting their curiosity get the better of them again—though they couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit proud for making Malleus smile.

TAGLIST: @soramcduckahyucky

BORDER: me!

[solxamber]

Diasomnia, 6, comedy! :D

Lessons in Love || Malleus Draconia

For the Holiday Event! || Prompt: "Say that again" ; Genre: Comedy

Malleus Draconia, the powerful and enigmatic prince of the Briar Valley, was pacing in your living room.

You sat on the couch, watching him like he was a particularly skittish cat, teetering on the edge of saying something dramatic. Eventually, you sighed and crossed your arms. “Malleus, if you’ve done something like declare war on RSA, just tell me now.”

He stopped mid-step, his shoulders stiff. “It is not about a declaration of war. I have a confession to make.”

“Good. Now spit it out.”

His lips pursed, and his cheeks took on a suspiciously pink tinge. You tilted your head, curiosity bubbling. Malleus rarely got flustered, but when he did, it was comedy gold.

“I—” he began, then stopped, his voice barely above a whisper.

“...Huh?”

“I… may have…” he mumbled again, too low for your magicless ears to catch.

“Sorry, didn’t catch that.”

“I may have…” He turned away, mumbling even quieter this time.

You blinked. “Malleus, I can’t hear you if you’re talking to the floor. Use your dragon voice.”

He shot you a betrayed look but finally sighed. “I may have accidentally…” Another mumble.

“I… sought assistance before we began courting,” he said, voice softer than a whisper.

Your curiosity peaked. “From who?”

He turned his head to the side, avoiding your gaze. “...Ace Trappola.”

You blinked. Once. Twice. Then, as the words sank in, you leaned forward. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I do not wish to repeat myself,” he said firmly, his pointed ears flushing.

“Oh, you’re definitely repeating yourself,” you said, biting back a grin. “You, Malleus Draconia, went to Ace Trappola for dating advice?”

He looked at you like he wanted the earth to swallow him whole. “I had heard rumors he had an… ‘ex-girlfriend,’ as humans call it. I sought his knowledge on how to properly court you.”

You smacked a hand over your mouth to suppress the laugh threatening to escape. “Malleus, please, you didn’t…”

“He told me to ‘play it cool’ and to call you ‘bro,’” Malleus admitted, looking deeply offended. “It was terrible advice.”

That did it. You doubled over with laughter, clutching your stomach. “He—he told you to call me bro? And you actually listened?”

“Of course not!” Malleus said, affronted. “Even I know better than to address my beloved with such disrespect.”

“Oh my god, I can’t breathe,” you wheezed, tears forming in the corners of your eyes.

He pouted, crossing his arms. “I should have sought advice elsewhere, but I was… desperate. You have a unique way of rendering me uncertain.”

He looked like he might throw himself dramatically out the window. So you did the only reasonable thing: you hugged him from behind, wrapping your arms around his waist.

He froze for a moment, his sharp edges softening under your touch. “...You mock me,” he grumbled, though he leaned into your embrace.

“Maybe a little,” you admitted, resting your cheek against his back. “But you’re also incredibly sweet for caring this much. Asking Ace of all people? That’s love.”

“But can you say that again?” you teased, grinning. “You went to Ace Trappola for help.”

“You are incorrigible,” he huffed.

You leaned up and kissed his cheek, softening the pout on his face. “And you’re adorable when you’re embarrassed. Now come here, ‘bro.’”

He groaned. “If you call me that again, I will turn Ace into a toad.”

“I’d love to see you try.”

Masterlist

[pomefioredove]

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ honesty is a virtue

type of post: short fic characters: lilia additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, a little suggestive, actually a lot suggestive, this is based off a stupid joke I made, reader is older than nrc students etc

It had started as a joke.

IT WAS A JOKE!!!

How could you have known? You had had your suspicions, but it's not like anyone tells you these things.

You meant it as a JOKE!

"Yeah, well, I fucked your dad,"

Sebek looked absolutely horrified, as if you had just told him his pet puppy died. Silver was stuck in place, pale, staring at you. Malleus chuckled.

You look between the three, confused. "Relax, guys, I was kidding,"

Sebek's horror immediately twists into rage, his whole face going red. "HAVE YOU NO DECENCY? TO JOKE ABOUT SUCH VULGAR THINGS!!!"

"Sebek, it's alright," Malleus interrupts, smirking. Weird. Usually, he's the one who doesn't get your jokes. "They didn't know."

"Didn't know?" you ask. "Didn't know what?"

Malleus chuckles, and pats your head like one would a puppy, or a small child. "Some things are better left unsaid, child of man. You should know better than to make such comments around the younger students, though,"

"...Oh, right," you mutter. "Oops."

Sebek still looks like he's about to burst a blood vessel.

"...It's fine, I'm not offended. I was just... surprised, that's all," Silver says, the color slowly returning to his face.

You still can't seem to figure out what it is. You'd made crude jokes in front of them before, they're not that young, Lilia has said much worse, and you'd only been messing with them. Besides, you don't even know their dad.

Or so you thought.

"Knock knock~" a familiar, cheery voice calls out for you, opening your door.

You look up from your phone, trying to distract yourself from your earlier embarrassment.

"Oh... hey, Lilia,"

"Busy?" he asks, letting himself in, anyway.

"Uh... no. Not really. Is everything okay?"

The fae smiles, the tips of his fangs visible between his lips. He's got that look on him again.

"Malleus told me you caused quite the commotion, earlier,"

Oh, great. Now him, too? You're never gonna live this down. You sigh.

"I..." you hesitate. You really don't want to be scolded again, and you've heard that Lilia can be quite scary when he's mad.

"...We were all just... having a silly little argument, nothing serious, and I made a bad joke, I guess."

"Which waaaas?"

At least he doesn't seem upset, you think. If anything, he seems amused. Which isn't great, either.

You sigh again. "...I joked, in a jokey manner, in a joking conversation, that I had... done certain things with their father,"

"And is that true?"

"What?" you scoff, almost in disbelief. Is he really turning this into a lecture about lying? He never lectures you. "Obviously not! I was joking! People make those kinds of jokes all the time!"

"Ah, but how careless of you. Poor Sebek almost fainted," Lilia says, taking a seat on your bed next to you. He really is turning this into a lecture...

"Hm. But would you like it to be true?"

Pause.

Huh?

Even when he's scolding, he finds a way to surprise you. And yet... what if he's not scolding at all...?

You give him a weird look. "Meaning what?"

Lilia giggles, and you catch a glimmer in his eye. He's teasing. Not lecturing. Teasing. What is he...

"Remember how I told you that I'm much older than I look?"

Oh.

Oh, no.

Your stomach drops. Everyone's horrified looks, Malleus' amusement, Lilia's teasing, suddenly make sense.

"No,"

"Yes," Lilia lowers his eyes, getting closer. "I must say, I'm flattered. But it was rather cruel of you to lie to my boys. I'm simply suggesting we... make that lie a truth."

You stare at him, unflinching. Perhaps you'd always thought he was a little cute, perhaps you're just thinking it now. What you're sure of, though, is that you could hold this over everyone's heads forever. He knows it, too.

Finally, you nod.

Lilia sets a hand on your knee and leans a little closer. "Good. Honesty is a virtue, after all,"